#he was super polite and kind and we talked and had an actual conversation

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 4)

Uzi was near silent on the way back to her apartment, rubbing a hole into the plastic strap of the bag she was holding. N was equally so, committing to memory the tiny droneling he'd held in his arms, and how serene Uzi had looked while feeding her.

When she got to the door she stopped for a moment, turning to N.

“My Dad's probably home by now, don't mention the nursery stuff to him. He'll probably be all “aww look at my daughter being soft.” And then I'll have to throw up.” Her voice was monotone and guarded. Prepped for talking with her dad, N nodded.

The door opened, revealing Khan milling about the kitchen, making some kind of drink that was radioactive blue. Humming cheerily to himself.

“Hey Dad, I'm back.” Her words immediately had bite, N had to surpress a laugh at how typical that was.

“Hey kiddo! How… was… uh.” His sentence died in his throat as he turned around, eyes falling on N before his own daughter. That somehow was even more typical.

“Hi Mr. Doorman.” N replied, smile a mile wide and politeness leaking through his voice, he hoped he was somewhat changing whatever opinion he had of him.

“Uh… Hello, er N. What brings you here?” Khan awkwardly fumbled his words, eyes flicking from him to his daughter, who looked already completely finished with the conversation.

“He stayed the night dad. You'd know that if you paid any attention to me.” She rolled her eyes, pushing past him to get to her room.

“He what…? In your room!?” N had not been so impolite, so now Khan was in-between them, but turned in the direction of his daughter, looking concerned and angry.

“Yep. In my room.” She deadpanned, turning back to look at him, N could see the parental panic rising in him, so he decided to take action.

“I was overheating this morning, I needed somewhere to stay until the sun went down. Totally unplanned, otherwise I would have asked.” He smiled again at Khan, trying to give the man respect.

Khan looked suspicious, still glancing between the two before sighing, shaking his head.

“Uzi, I really would like to know when you have a friend over. Especially a boy.” N felt himself stiffen, although that was super fair, he wasn't sure he'd be entirely okay with that either if he had a daughter.

Why did he think of Tera?

“I'm sorry Mr. Doorman, it really was an emergency.” He explained. Ignoring Uzi's attempts to blow off her dad. “And if it makes you feel better I would never hurt your daughter, she's my best friend.” He added, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Uzi fluster.

She was always so shy about being vulnerable.

“I-I It does… actually. I'll admit I don't know a lot about you N. How… do you feel about my daughter?” Khans question wasn't accusatory, which was a great sign in N's book. And even better, this question was easy!

“She's awesome!” He replied simply, not knowing how better to explain how dear she was to him.

“N!” She hissed, crossing her arms and looking away embarrassed.

“What? You are!” He replied, turning back to Khan who looked deliberative.

“Thats not exactly… ah well, I suppose that is an answer.” Khan then seemed as if he was reassured, if only a little, and turned to N again, smiling even if it was wary.

“Then maybe we should sit down and talk sometime. If my daughter has friends, I aught to get to know them.” N beamed, this was what he'd wanted! If Khan liked him, maybe he could hang around Uzi more!

“I wouldn’t mind that, Mr. Doorman. “

“N, come on, I wanna get this stuff sat down!” Uzi called his attention, and they both disappeared behind Uzi's bedroom door, leaving Khan as he started. Alone.

Was he really okay with this? Letting a murder drone into his home to “hang out” with his daughter? He was conflicted, on one hand, he was happy his daughter had actually made a friend, he was concerned that she'd end up being alone one day. On the other, N was a disassembly drone, He'd killed so many worker drones, so many of his friends, and was part if the squad that took Nori from him.

He sighed, he would have to sit down with the boy after all, if only quell some of these thoughts.

“Ugh… Dad is so nosy!” Uzi cried out, throwing herself into her chair and the bag into her fridge, spinning the chair around in irritation.

“He's just worried about you. I'm not exactly the safest thing around.” N pointed out, still standing just inside the door, gesturing to himself with his hands.

“He left me for dead, he doesn't get to be worried. And also you are! I always feel safe with you.” At the end if that sentence, she blushed, spinning her chair sway from him so he couldn't see. She hadn't intended that to be anything but internal.

“Aww, Uzi.” He grinned, knowing she would be embarrassed at herself for saying that. But more than that, he felt warm, knowing that he made Uzi of all drones feel safe. Even though she could probably easily kick his ass, was a very nice feeling.

“Bite me, your sappiness is rubbing of on me.” She mumbled, before spinning back around in her chair. Still looking upset.

“My dad…he left me to die the day we met. He was fully willing to let you do whatever you wanted to me.” She said, her voice small.

“But now that we're friends, he thinks he can boss you around?! He's lucky you didn't eat me like you were supposed to! He should be groveling at your feet! Not treating you like some… teenage boy trying to get in my pants!” She yelled, stamping her foot, for a moment the solver symbol appeared in her eye, not that she noticed.

“We don't have-”

“Figure of speech.” She clarified before giggling “And we're both adults, if you wanna completely tear it down.”

They both laughed, N looking around for somewhere to sit before deciding the floor worked just fine. He plopped down, sitting cross legged with his tail in his lap.

“Almost adults, I'm just 19.” He said, startling her a little. Huh.

“Wait really? I thought you were older?”

“Nah, well I mean. Yes? Uh, Tessa, the girl who rebuilt me, found me in a junkyard. So I guess I'd have to been around awhile? But I don't remember what my life was like before that.”

“And that was 19 years ago so… uh.”

Oh wow, he could have lived an entire life before we was rebuilt. Did that count? Was he like 60 or something? Ew… that would make his and Uzi's friendship kinda weird.

“I mean… the version of you in your memories looked pretty young, older drones tend to be boxier, my guess is that you had some sort of defect. Like V and her vison.” Uzi said, making him feel better, he didn't feel 60 either, 19 felt right. He was completely reset when Tessa rebuilt him, so it had to be.

“Right, and J with her uh… aggressiveness.” He replied, he had quite a bit more to say about her, but that would be impolite.

“I mean, I'm only 18, and you had the same body type as Thad, who's the same age as me. 19 is probably right. Was there anything you struggled with when coming online?” She asked, cocking her head to the side, the chair and her hovering over him.

He thought for a moment, before something hit him. Literally, his tail had swung up and had hit him in the face. Uzi supressed a laugh, he found himself blushing, weather at his own screw up or how weirdly pretty her laugh sounded.

“I was clumsy. I am clumsy.”

“That would be it. Can't have an accident prone worker. You were probably decommissioned pretty soon after assembly… damn humans.” Her face fell, although she was still hovering over him, she no longer looked at him. Although he had to admit, she looked really nice from this angle.

Huh, that was a different thought. But he didn't disagree with it, he had thought that way about a lot of drones at prom. Everyone had been so dapper!

Still, the room fell into a comfortable silence, it was dark by now, he had no more reason to stay. But he found himself not wanting to leave. Besides it's not like if he went home V would even talk to him.

The spire had been so lonely lately.

“I'm still thinking about Tera.” Uzi broke the silence, head resting on one of her hands, her eyes glancing over at the door as if her dad could hear through it.

“She's so cute…” N immediately replied, his core immediately beginning to melt at the thought of the baby drone.

“Yeah, but that's not what I was thinking.” She hummed, using her solver to lazily open her fridge and crack open a cannister of oil, putting a straw in it.

“Her parents just, abandoned her, and they didn't even have the decency to name her!” Her frustration was clear, and N for once felt himself share it. Tera was the cutest thing alive, she deserved awesome parents! Not people who would just create her and then dump her.

“I like the name Tera though.” Is all he said, keeping a lid on his frustration for now, besides, Uzi was expressing enough of it for the both of them.

“I do too, not the point. I just… I don't want a baby to feel the way I did that day we met.”

Oh

Oh

So that's where this conversation was leading to.

Uzi had felt abandoned that day for sure, but she'd felt that way long before that. Khan had absorbed himself in his work when Nori had died, leaving her in her room, alone, so many nights…

“I know someone is going to adopt her. She's a really happy baby. No one can resist that. I just… really hope she won't be effected by it.” Her frown was evident, and she'd completely ceased paying attention to N, instead lost in her thoughts.

If she hadn't been, she might have seen him stand up.

In a second she was lifted bridal style, before being crushed in a massive hug. She squeaked, both at the suddenness of it and at N's arms wrapping tightly around her.

“E-N?! He-”

“I won't abandon you.”

Oh… did that make her core swell, it was heavy and it ached. She nearly wanted to cry, or scream maybe. N had gotten her right in the vulnerable spot, as he often did. She found herself leaning into his hug.

“I-I Know.”

“Sometimes I don't think you do.” He replied, squeezing tighter. She wondered if he ever felt the same, being tossed away like actual garbage, and then turned into something that was the literal antithesis of who he was.

“You know… I won't leave you either right?” She wasn't as good with words as he was and boy did it show, but still she felt his entire body stiffen before his hug somehow got tighter.

“Thank you.” Was his only reply, before he slowly sat he back down on the chair, Uzi looked away, willing her blush to go away before turning back to face him. Half-surprised to see a slight blush dusting his face.

“Do you want to keep visiting her? At least until someone adopts her? That way, neither of you will feel alone.” N suggested, even in the back of his mind, he knew it wasn't a wise idea, he was already getting attached, and he knew it would be hard on him when she had new parents.

But he'd deal with that, so long as he didn't have to see Uzi feel like she didn't matter anymore. Or worry about the little droneling feeling that way.

“Yeah… I'd like that.”

[ew-selfish-art]

Dpx Dc AU: Ectoplasm is required for Ghosts to be visible to the human eye- And Danny creates his own ectoplasm.

Danny is visiting Jazz in Gotham and its weird how friendly everyone is. Like, the city gets a really bad rapport, everywhere he goes there is someone trying to strike up a conversation or answer his questions about getting around to the tourist spots. A few people even pointed out restaurants and ways to find off the beaten path gems! Jazz seems to role her eyes at him, but when he brings up her 'roommate' being kind of cute she flat out laughs.

Danny then comes to understand the Jazz doesn't have a roommate and that Ghosts in Gotham don't move far from their haunts- He's just been inadvertently turning these undead folks visible by accident of generating abnormal amounts of ectoplasm.

Which, is comforting in a way, he's never walking this dangerous city alone and really, most of the ghosts have been really friendly! They disappear once he's a few blocks away from them anyway.

---

Tim Drake is having a horrible day.

He'd been given intel that one of Black Mask's guys was going to snitch but that he'd died before given the opportunity to reach out to the GCPD. He tracks down the guy's last know whereabouts and yikes. Its next to the Theater. Tim was often grateful for his childhood obsessions, this time it backfired.

Tim and Bruce get into an argument about trust and respect and, worst of all, mental health. And even though Tim was vehemently against Batman accompanying Red Robin to the alleyway - that's exactly what happens.

They arrive and Bruce is closing up faster than a clam in the contaminated Gotham Bay- Clearly being in the Alley bothers him. No fucking shit. RR gets started on collecting evidence, there are a few extra blood splatters and a single left shoe... When a kid walks into the Alley.

"Uh, sorry to intrude-" The kid looks scared shitless, and runs away. And then, all of a sudden, Batman and Robin aren't alone in the Alley.

Tim can hardly believe his eyes as the dead man appears and quickly blabs Black Mask's bank passwords and what the plan had been- and While he's over joyed to have that closure, he turns around to Batman weeping in the arms of his parents.

The ghosts fade, and the emotions are certainly charged as this was never something Bruce or Tim would have ever dreamed of happening. Ghosts in Gotham. Talking, floating, granting closure.

"RR, Bats, come in." Oracle calls into their ears.

"Reporting in, but, uh, we need a minute."

"A minute? We have a case on 4th and-"

"O, we just saw the ghosts of the Waynes. It's going to be a minute."

"...Lots of Ghost reports lately then. Any chance you saw a kid looking like he could be adopted?"

"Yeah, actually, black hair and blue eyes. He was super polite before he ran away."

"We have work to do. Oracle, lets prioritize finding our person of interest and divert Nightwing and Robin to the case on 4th." Batman cut between them on the comms and he sounded... calmer than either of them anticipated.

---

Jazz is no longer laughing when Batman appears at her door explaining that he's looking for Danny (Who already flew away from town to get a good night's sleep before class on Monday). Turns out Danny reunited the man with his dead parents just briefly- and then the second guy appears and mentions how Danny had also given a guy who'd been murdered by a Mob enough time to explain the ongoing threats the city faced.

Jazz just rolls her eyes and says that it's not like the ghosts are going anywhere anytime soon and Danny will visit in another month. When pressed, she just explains that her brother is a weirdo. No of course he doesn't have powers. Gaslight and Girlbosses her way out.

And Jazz thinks that the game is up for at least another month, obviously when Danny visits more shit will stir up, but then this new guy appears.

Unlike the other Bats who are keen on watching her from a distance, the Red Hood knocks on her door. Are her eyebrows all the way into her hairline when Red Hood asks her to send his thanks along to Danny because somehow this whole situation led to his Dad expressing remorse for his actions and apologizing? Yes, yes they are.

But Jazz can smell Dissertation Data off of these vigilantes- Who is she to send them away? Jazz welcomes Red Hood into her place for a cup of tea and a small chat.

The story then devolves into Jazz getting shit done, Danny being cute by proximity and also bringing ghosts to the party, and the Bats having trauma resolve between them.

[lovingseventeen]

hiiii <3 could you do a jealous svt pls <333 love your writing it's so cute :')

jealous seventeen ˚➶ ｡˚

a/n: i hope i did this request justice! (also these got hella long omg)

seungcheol:

❀ whines and pouts, you can't escape them

❀ not super serious but he will let you know

❀ "he kept fawning over you, who does that guy think he is!" he tells you as you both enter your apartment, "like i was right there and he really had no shame!"

❀ "y/n, never talk to him again, he doesn't even deserve a glance" he tells you (only half serious, he'd never actually try to control who you talked to)

❀ literally just kiss him mid complaint and it'll resolve 98% of his issue

❀ "'cheol you know you have nothing to worry about, i love you, remember?"

❀ give him an extra kiss on the cheek and this gets him to maybe stop pouting

❀ insists on being a little closer to you that day

jeonghan:

❀ no one would be able to tell except for the guy he’s trying to ward off from you

❀ he prides himself on you have his ultimate trust, of course you could never do anything wrong!

❀ it’s at a party and he can just sense that this guy is going to try something. he can't let this go on any longer when he sees him slightly lean in to you to try to whisper something in your ear

❀ he’ll do something simple, maybe pushing your hair behind your ear to cup your cheek to make his presence known

❀ immediately, you turn at the familiar gesture and it only gets better when you smile when you see him, “hi ‘hannie”

joshua:

❀ joshua is kind of perfect in my mind ??? so i firmly believe we have a communication king right here

❀ you come home from a party and when you both finish washing up he pulls you in for some cuddles, with you resting your head on his chest

❀ “you tired?” you asked

❀ “mm a little” he hums

❀ when you glance up to look at his face you notice he’s a bit deep in thought

❀ “is there something wrong?”

❀ “hmm, you didn’t do anything wrong, love” he begins, “just something about that guy from earlier.. the one in the blue shirt? something felt off..”

❀ “was someone feeling a little jealous?” you chuckled, earning a small chuckle from him too because he feels a little silly over this

❀ “a bit” he confirms, hugging you a little tighter

❀ “we’ll it’s a good thing i get to go home with you, isn’t it?” you smile, leaning up him a kiss. he murmurs a "that's true" against your lips

jun:

❀ will remove you from the situation in the most random way possible

❀ there's someone talking to you a little too close for his liking and he really just walks up to you with his phone in his hand

❀ "baby, your mom's calling"

❀ your mom barely calls him so you're very confused, but you politely excuse yourself to take this call

❀ once he's led you away, you're both looking at each other and he realizes he didn't know what to do when his plan got this far

❀ "isn't she on the call right now?" you ask, pointing to his phone

❀ "um, actually no one was calling?" he admits

❀ you're perplexed and you don't really put two and two together until you both see the person from your earlier conversation walking up to you and jun steers you in another direction

❀ you're giggling as you're walking away, "junnie were you getting jealous?"

❀ "hm?" he hums, even raising his eyebrows, "never"

❀ please massage his temples later for he's been a bit stressed

hoshi:

❀ he feels a pang in his heart when he gets jealous

❀ but he also doesn’t want to confront you because he does trust you and he knows he really has nothing to worry about

❀ but he can’t help but feel a little territorial and he just wants to let you know how much he wants you

❀ if you’re at a party he’ll wait for you to finish your little conversation. he makes eye contact with you across the room and you see him take a seat somewhere on the side

❀ when you make your way towards him a couple moments later, he leans into your ear, hot breath tickling you and heightening your senses

❀ “you know you look so hot right now?”

❀ he’s still leaning in when this comment makes you blush. “that person’s practically drooling, i mean, anyone would”

❀ a hand comes to your thigh and he places a kiss that just ghosts over the skin of your neck

❀ “do you wanna get out of here?”

❀ you’re nodding immediately-

wonwoo:

❀ you brought him to a reunion dinner with you and inevitably, old histories get rehashed for fun

❀ someone brings up how you almost got together with another guy all those years ago and it just so happens that that person is at the dinner too

❀ “remember when he got y/n flowers!” and everyone chatters in agreement

❀ frankly wonwoo feels a little sick even if it was only a joke, you’re laughing awkwardly but you do sneak glances at him to check if he’s okay

❀ “damn imagine if they did get together all those years ago, they might’ve been married now!”

❀ his stomach churns even more when that guy looks at you and his stare lingers. “y/n, imagine?” he calls out to you, even from across the table

❀ at that comment everyone’s gasping and cheering on weird excitement and wonwoo feels as if he’s getting smaller and smaller

❀ “guys, c’mon…” you start, trying to calm everyone down

❀ in an attempt to ground himself a little bit he reaches for your hand. his anxiety calms down a bit when you take his one hand in both of yours. it always calms him when you do this

❀ you turn to him and lean into his ear, “we can go soon if you feel uncomfortable”

❀ he shakes his head, assuring you that he’s fine even if he doesn’t feel great. though it does help that you check on him throughout the night even when the conversation changes topic

❀ on your way home, you walk with your arms linked together. “sorry if they made you uncomfortable earlier,” you told him, “it was such a long time ago, i don’t know why they still bring it up”

❀ “it’s not your fault so you don’t have to be sorry” he replies, “but do you wonder if things could’ve been different?”

❀ he’s surprised when you stop walking to look at him. “i don’t wonder about it because i’m happy with you wonu”

❀ you’re glad to see his smile, it feels like you haven’t seen it all night. “i’m very happy with you too”

❀ this lighter mood lets you two continue your walk home, but maybe you walk a little closer to him

woozi:

❀ i think he’d be able to reason himself out because he finds himself getting jealous as him being silly

❀ you’ve never given him a reason to feel this way, so why should he start now?

❀ this leads him to think about all the best parts of you and how he loves you so much he feels like his heart is gonna burst sometimes

❀ so his moment of jealousy turns into him wanting to do something nice for you

❀ you come home to jihoon having ordered from your favorite restaurant and even some dessert from your favorite bakery

❀ you walk over to him to kiss his cheek, “what’s all this?”

❀ “nothing much, just thought you deserved it” he tells you, returning a kiss to the side of your head

❀ you’re so smiley over the food and you tell him, “i love you, you know”

dokyeom:

❀ pleads with his eyes but ultimately stays quiet

❀ he by no means wants to be possessive but the way this barista is talking to you makes his stomach churn

❀ who is this guy going on about how you're one of their regulars and yadda yadda yadda..

❀ at first it's dokyeom’s fingers lightly touching your hand, then an arm wraps around your waist as this small talk kills him

❀ you can feel his gaze as this barista tries to extend the conversation despite the line forming behind you

❀ when you notice how he looks a little sad you politely tell the barista, "well, i'm so excited that i get to show my boyfriend how good your coffee is! have a nice day!"

❀ dokyeom perks at hearing you announce him as your boyfriend as the two of you walk to a little booth in the cafe, his hand staying at your waist

❀ he also chooses to sit next to you at this booth, keeping a hand on your thigh

❀ "here you need to taste this," you gush, feeding him a small bite of a pastry and doting on him a little bit more than usual

❀ he eases up a bit when you kiss his cheek. "you know you're my favorite person right," you tell him

❀ with this, his eyes crinkle when he smiles and he nods, the moment of jealousy he had becomes forgotten

❀ "and you know you're mine"

mingyu:

❀ his heart ACHES

❀ he would never stop you from seeing anyone, completely trusting you, so he just told you a "have fun, baby" on your way out to meet up with an old classmate

❀ he sees your story as you're out and sees that.. this classmate... is quite attractive... he feels awful for his mind even taking this route

❀ your story is innocent, pictures of your food, a casual selfie with the caption "reunited after so long!" with your friend's username tagged too

❀ and so ensues the stalking of this friend's account LMAO

❀ he doesn't even care if he gets caught stalking this person's story as he taps to view it. to his dismay your friend posted a selfie of the two of you too

❀ what mingyu immediately notices is the way their arm is around you in the photo, pulling you close as you (cutely) hold up a peace sign with your fingers

❀ when you come home he welcomes you with a tight hug while simultaneously fighting back the urge to ask you too much about your night

❀ "you look pretty today, did i tell you that yet?" "thank you, 'gyu" you smiled as you took off your shoes

❀ when the two of you eventually settle on the couch he tries his very best to be casual with some of his questions

❀ "so how was it? are they a close friend from before?" part of his jealousy subsided as you snuggled into him, "yeah a bit, we grew up together, it was good to catch up after so long"

❀ his hand runs up and down your back as he tries to think of how to gently ask a few more questions. he figures he might as well mention it

❀ "so i tapped on your friend's profile because you tagged them?"

❀ you raise your eyebrows, "oh yeah?"

❀ he can’t help but bring up the hug, "were you guys the kind of friends that hugged a lot? because that's totally fine-" your chuckle interrupts him

❀ "would it help you relax if you knew they also had a partner?"

❀ "oh" he sighs and you could tell a part of him was relieved

❀ “and we talked about you too” you continue

❀ this makes him curious. “you did?”

❀ “yeah i told them i’m so stupidly in love with you that i’d rather the earth crack in half and swallow me if i had to live without you”

❀ he laughs, “sure you did-”

❀ “i did! and i even said how i think about you all the time and how you’re so unbelievably handsome that i’m embarrassingly down bad”-

❀ it’s his turn to interrupt you with a half tackle of a hug, pulling you so close to him in an embrace so tight that your laugh gets muffled

❀ “okay i get it, i love you, it was silly to be jealous” he chuckles

minghao:

❀ maybe one day he picks you up from work and you greet him with a hug as he waits for you outside of his car. he notices your jacket and wonders if it’s new

❀ when he hugs you he likes to bury his face in the crook of your neck. to his surprise, he smells a cologne that is definitely not his

❀ “new jacket?” he asks casually

❀ “oh it got cold and my friend had an extra jacket in his locker” you explain

❀ “oh okay” he replies, but you don’t miss the millisecond his eyebrows knit together in thought

❀ suddenly he’s taking off his thick sweater even if he’s only wearing a shirt underneath. “here wear this instead it’s probably warmer, it’s wool, see?”

❀ “hao you only have a shirt on, you’ll get cold then”

❀ “no it’s okay” he assures you “i don’t get cold but you do, here” NDYDYDHDH

❀ before you can protest any further, he’s sliding your friend’s jacket off your shoulders and slipping the opening of his (admittedly warmer) sweater over your head

❀ “better right?” he asks as he folds your friend’s jacket up neatly

❀ “yeah” you agree, hugging yourself with his sleeves that are too long for you, “still has your warmth too”

❀ “exactly” he smiles, patting your head. he always loves seeing you in his clothes, there’s no reason for you to need anyone else’s :)

seungkwan:

❀ so maybe you gave mingyu a casual compliment because bros been getting beefy and you know he puts a lot of work into it

❀ "wow going to the gym is paying off, huh?"

❀ seungkwan overhears this and gives the most obvious and unabashed side eye LOL

❀ when you try to get him to stop pouting later on he’s (still gently) batting you away and removing your hand from him and flicking it NSYSH

❀ you're asking him for a favor he won't help you

❀ “uh huh, why are you coming to me now? i’m sure mingyu can open that bottle for you with his big beefy arms!”

❀ "but i want you!" you insist and for a second his act drops because he likes it when you tell him you like him

❀ he tuts anyway but he can't resist you (he loves making your life easier)

❀ "i can start working out my arms too, you know" he tells you

❀ you chuckle, shaking your head, "i mean, i'd root for you in anything you choose to do, but just so you know, i love my talented, pretty, athletic, kind- did i say handsome yet? handsome- package deal of a boyfriend"

❀ he's blushing now, you got him hehe

vernon:

❀ you would almost miss it if you didn’t recognize the subtle difference in his mannerisms

❀ he’s not super big on pda and you're fine with that, so you do notice when his hand doesn’t exactly know where to rest

❀ first it’s lightly on the small of your back, then it’s around your waist, then it’s back to your back

❀ he’s so quiet but you can tell he’s thinking about something in the way his gaze is a little in the distance

❀ vernon was originally part of this conversation with this other person but he does notice how they’re only focusing on you, leaning into you, and laughing a little too hard at your jokes

❀ when you hear a forced laugh come out of him you definitely know he’s feeling off

❀ his jealous thoughts only subside when you take his anxious hand and rest it on your hip and you take a step to put your body flush against his. no one could doubt that you’re a couple

❀ later on, his hand still hasn’t left you and you notice that this is new. kiss his jaw to ease him a bit, a silent message of you have nothing to worry about

dino:

❀ he hears you gasp when as your scrolling on your phone

❀ he’s feeling just a little nosy so he peeks over at your phone only to see some other shirtless idol and he is BETRAYED LMAO

❀ “baby you have the future of kpop right next to you” he whines

❀ you laugh, closing your phone to to cup his cheeks, “of course, and he’s definitely the hottest”

❀ he rolls his eyes jokingly and you think it ends here

❀ ohoho the next morning you’re surprised to walk into your kitchen to see your boyfriend shirtless with his pajamas hanging dangerously low on his hips, abs very prominent in the gentle morning light

❀ you can’t help but walk over to rest your hands on his hips

❀ “why are you naked so early in the morning…?”

❀ “what do you mean? i always walk around the house like this” (no he doesn’t) (he’s also definitely flexing right now)

❀ “uh huh, you know you can’t do this, right?” you tell him, tilting your head to the side

❀ he’s feeling a little bold, so he leans in so his face is inches from yours. “and why not?”

❀ “because i’d never get anything done” is the last thing you say before you’re taking his hand and pulling him back to your bedroom and pushing him onto your bed-

[im-sleepdeprived]

Crazier • Pt. 3

pairing: mcu!peter parker x reader

a/n: ITS FINALLY HERE omg I loved writing this series so much i had a blast. thank you for everyone who was asking me about part 3 because it felt amazing knowing you enjoyed it as much as me😭💕💕 i hope you enjoy !! (beware, she is long)

warnings: some angst thrown in here and there, fluff (later), mentions of breakups, mentions of cheating, very very brief mention of suicide ( someone mentions and old author who offed themselves), me not knowing anything about theater (I apologize in advance), glitter

read part 1 here & part 2 , masterlist

"And when we got the chair, Brad made me sit in it and he pushed me around the whole school!" You were telling Spider-Man about your day, and as always, he listened politely, only chiming every now and then. 

"Wow, you and this Brad guy sure did a lot together today, huh?" He said, and even with the voice changer, you could tell he sounded a bit off. "I mean yeah! He's a great guy, way cooler than I originally thought.” You told him, making him grind his teeth hard, not that you saw that. 

"Actually I'm a little upset that the play is about to come to an end." Your voice gets a little softer as you confess what's been on your mind today. "The rehearsals have been a blast, and the people are amazing and it's been such a good distraction from everything. I'm really sad to see it go," you looked down at your hands. 

Peter took one look at your expression and knew there was something else you weren't telling him. "Well what kinds of things do you need a distraction from?" he asked carefully.

"Um," you looked anywhere but at him, "well, my parents have been fighting a lot lately and it's just been really hard to be around the house, everything's so tense."

His lips parted but nothing came out. He knew about your parents, of course, whenever things got bad you'd always run over to his place to hang out. But now you couldn't do that anymore, so you were just looking for any way to avoid coming home for as long as you could. 

"And of course, there's that whole breakup." you continued. "But I've been pretty good at ignoring that so far, and I think that's just the way I'll keep going." You drummed your fingers on your thigh as you stared into nothing.

"Do you really think that's the best way to go about it?" He asked hesitantly. "Maybe you shouldn't just completely ignore something like that."

You gave him a questioning look, "And why wouldn't I want to forget about it? Isn't that what you're supposed to do eventually after a breakup?"

"Yeah, eventually," he repeated, "but wasn't that relationship a big part of you? Ignoring everything isn't gonna make all your feelings go away. You have to face your emotions, embrace them, and go through the motions before moving on."

He hated that you seemed to be fine all of a sudden. That you were getting so close with this Brad guy all of a sudden. It might've been selfish, but Peter didn't wanna see you moving on just yet, he still had a tiny hope in the back of his brain that you might take him back if he waited till just the right time. But the more you kept talking, the more that tiny hope diminished. 

You snorted, "Ok Dr. Spider-Man, I'm not sure a guy running around New York in a bright onesie is qualified to give out relationship advice, but you do you.”

He couldn't help but let out a laugh. "I'll let you know I give out great relationship advice and I'm not wearing a onesie," he huffed. "It's a super suit."

That just made you laugh harder, "Yeah, sure, whatever dude."

"So you and your team won?" he asked. He wasn't about to waste the only time in the day when he got to speak with you being jealous. He was gonna keep this conversation going. Try his best to give you what he never could as Peter. 

"Yes!" you beamed. "Oh and look," you scrambled around looking for the crown you had received after you won. You had brought it up with you just so you could show him. 

You put it on and straightened your posture, "We were rewarded with these fabulous crowns.”

Spider-Man let out a loud laugh. "Wow, you look like true royalty."

"Don't I?" you grinned. "I always wanted to be a princess when I grew up, so this is very fitting for me." You tapped the crown lightly and grinned at him.

Peter was sure he was grinning like a lovesick idiot. He remembered you telling him this, your crazy childhood dream during one of your late-night talks. He truly believed that if anyone in this whole world were some kind of royalty, it would be you.

“Just like Rapunzel.” He murmured. Your head perked up at that. “Oh my god,” you rush, “YES! Holy shit! She was my absolute favorite as a kid, how'd you know that?”

He fumbles a little but quickly finds himself. “You were humming ‘I See The Light’ a couple days ago. It was an educated guess.” You can hear the grin in his voice. “Glad to know I got it right though.”

You laughed a little and settled back down. “Dude, I'm not kidding. I used to eat yellow flowers as a kid 'cause I thought they’d give me magic hair.”

At that, Peter loses his mind. He’s cracking up and you're joining in beside him. This, he thinks to himself. This is what he’s been missing. This is how things should be. He can't help himself, the words are leaving his mouth before he can even gather his thoughts.

“So what about your ex? How’ve things been going with him?” Nice going dumbass. She's never gonna wanna talk with you again if you keep mentioning her ex-boyfriend.

You looked at him weirdly and started twisting the ring on your finger. “Why do you wanna know?”

“I-just I…” he scratched the back of his neck, “Well actually, I'm going through a breakup too, right now, and I guess…I don't know, hearing you talk about it, about him, makes me feel less alone.”

Peter Parker feels like shit. He feels like a total asshole. And yet, he doesn't feel bad enough to stop, to come clean. Not yet at least. He tried making himself feel better by thinking, ‘Well it's not a lie. I am going through a breakup. She just doesn't know with who.’

You stared up at him, shocked. He never shared anything about himself. Not a thing. You two joked back and forth but you were usually the one sharing personal issues (or triumphs, like today). You start to wonder what his personal life looks like. He can't be that much older than you from what you can tell by his sense of humor and some of his references. This man, no, boy, who spends practically all his time running around one of the most popular cities in the world, saving lives and changing them, is going through a breakup. And he’s currently sitting on a rooftop with you and talking about it.

You blew out a long breath. “If Spider-Man can’t find love, none of us stand a chance.”

He let out a soft laugh at that. “Ah, I wouldn't say that. I definitely have my fair share of flaws. And then some.”

You shake your head, “I'm sure the good outweighs the bad. I mean, come on,” you gestured towards him.

He laughed again. “So tell me, you still see him every day, right?

You nodded, deciding that if this made him feel less alone, you could do this. 

“Is it hard?”

You shrugged, “Honestly, I have no idea. I’ve been avoiding him like the plague. I’ve only run into him once and it was when me and another friend went to grab ice cream at our old hangout spot. I couldn’t look at him. I haven’t spoken to him since everything and I don’t really want to. Not anytime soon.”

He sighed. Of course, you didn’t wanna speak to him as Peter. He’d totally fucked you over, he’s lucky he found any kind of loophole at all because he really doesn’t think he can handle not speaking completely. 

“How do you think he feels?” He has no clue where the question came from but now that he’s asked, he can’t help the curiosity bubbling in him.

You run a hand through your hair and sigh, “I have no idea. One second he’s avoiding eye contact in the school hallway and the next, he’s staring daggers at me in an ice cream shop. He’s weird.”

Spider-Man chuckled lightly, “Yeah, he sounds like he is.”

“Do you see your ex a lot?” You hope he doesn’t see it as prying, you just want to see how similar your situations are. 

“Yeah, actually, I do.” He nods but says nothing else. 

“Is it hard?” You ask softly. 

He nods again, keeping his eyes low. “Crazy hard. Especially when I know everything is my fault.”

“Do you think she’d ever forgive you?” He only shrugged. “Do you want her to forgive you?”

He looks up at you, “Would you ever forgive your ex? After whatever it is that he did, I mean.”

You took a moment to think. “I don’t know. I think it’s different. I mean, I don’t know what happened between you guys, but I think with Peter and I, I think he was starting to lose interest.”

He can feel his heart drop. “What? Why would you say that?”

“Yeah,” you continued, not taking notice of the spider slightly freaking out beside you, “he just stopped caring. Stopped showing up, and stopped listening. If I didn’t know any better I’d actually think he’d cheated on me.”

“No way! I mean-,” he cleared his throat a little, trying not to sound as anxious as he felt, “Do you… do you actually that he did? Cheated, I mean. Do you seriously think he cheated on you?”

Please say no, please say no, please say-

“No, of course not,” you told him honestly. “Peter’s a lot of things, but he’s not a cheater. I’d accuse him of that.” You paused for a moment. “But there was something…I don’t know what. There was something he wasn’t telling me.”

He let out a breath of relief. Thank god, he doesn’t think he could’ve handled knowing you thought of him that way. And it’s true, he would’ve never stooped so low. As for the ‘something’…

“Say he were to show up, right now, knocking on your door. Begging to have you back and swearing that he’s changed. Would it work?” He asked half serious and half joking.

You laughed a little, “No, but it’d probably piss off my parents.”

He grinned beside you, his mask shifting slightly at the movement. “Aw come on. Not one for big romantic gestures?” He nudged your shoulder a little.

You smiled but your expression fell as you thought about his words some more. “No, I’m just not one for empty promises. Which is all he had to give me after a while. He used to be amazing, he used to be the perfect boyfriend. The Peter I knew disappeared and I wasn’t a fan of the one who replaced him.”

You look up at him and grin. “If there’s any chance of anything being repaired between us. Even a friendship. He’s gonna need to get his shit together.”

“So he cheated on her, which fueled her depression, and ultimately led to her suicide. And that wasn’t enough so he burned her most of her work, and profited off of the rest of it after she died!”

This is what your mornings looked like lately. Hanging out with MJ so much had been…interesting to say the least. There was always something you could learn from her. Currently, she was telling you all about some ancient female author’s shitty husband as you waited beside her locker while she grabbed everything she’d need for her next class. 

“Every article online about it says ‘allegedly’ but fuck that. It’s totally the truth,” She finished. 

“God. That sounds awful,” you grimaced. “Whatever happened to him? Didn’t they have kids?”

“Oh, he married someone, won a ton of awards everyone loved him. And yes, a son, who also dies by suicide, and a daughter. I'm pretty sure she writes kids' books now.”

You sucked in a breath. “Holy shit. And where did you learn all this?”

She shrugged. “I read a lot.”

“Right,” you nod, unable to completely shake off the grossness that story left you feeling. “So,” you started, hoping to change the subject. “What do you have next again?”

“Biology. But I think we have a sub today, so that’ll be fun.” She slammed her locker shut, leaned on it slightly, and turned toward you. “What about you?”

You shook your head at her, “Free period. I was gonna catch up on my reading for AP Lit. Hey,” you wondered aloud, “is it that sub that marks people tardy even if they’re a second late? I can’t stand him.”

She sprung up. “Shit. Shit. Fuck,” she rushed out. “It is. And I can’t get another tardy otherwise I get detention. Again. And my parents would kill me.”

You nodded, completely understanding. “Okay. Well, I’m just gonna go grab my stuff and head to the library. See you later!”

“Bye Y/N/N!” She yelled over her shoulder, already halfway down the hall. 

You laughed lightly before heading to your own locker. You opened it and grabbed your bag when you felt a tap on your shoulder. 

You slam your locker shut and turn around, only to come face to face with Brad. “Hey, Brad!” You grinned. 

You’d never really noticed Brad before. You never had anything against him, you both just ran in different crowds. Even after you both started working on the play, you were friendly with each other but it never went past a simple smile, wave, or quick ‘hello’. But in light of recent events, you were really starting to think of him as a friend.

“Hey.” He smiled right back. “Saw you here and thought I’d just stop by and ask how you’ve been.”

You gave him a closed-lip smile as you leaned back against the lockers. “That’s sweet. I’ve been okay, long morning though. What about you?”

He nodded. “Same. Stayed up pretty late last night going over my lines.”

“Really? Don’t really think you need that. I’ve seen you at rehearsals, you’re a natural Brad.”

“Yeah? You think?” He grinned wide at your compliment and ran a hand over his hair. “I’ve got ‘em memorized and all, but I just wanna make sure I know them, y’know?”

You nodded. He wants to make sure his delivery is as good as his memory. That’s another thing you didn’t expect from Brad Davis. His passion for theater. 

“Well like I said, I’ve seen you at rehearsals and I mean it when I say I think you’re fine. More than fine actually. So don’t stress yourself out Davis, you’re gonna be amazing.”

He beamed at you like a child. “Thank you Y/N, seriously. You don’t know how much that means.”

You smiled right back at him. “Anytime.”

It was quiet between you two for a bit, and you didn’t really know what to say. You were about to ask if he had a class he needed to get to when, suddenly, he took a few steps closer to you. 

That automatically took any words that might’ve been on your tongue and threw them in the dumpster behind the school. 

“There’s um, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you, actually.” His voice is softer but, you hear every word and you can almost feel his breath on your face. 

“Oh?” Your voice matches his volume. This can't be happening. He knows you just broke up with Peter. He’s gotta be kidding. Or maybe, he’s about to ask something about the play. Yes, you think, he’s got a question about the play and he’s come to ask me, obviously, because I’m the director. 

The halls are quiet now, everyone else is in class, at the library, or something. It's just you and Brad, standing so close you could count his lashes. 

Just you and Brad. Brad, who won’t stop staring into your eyes for some reason, so you’re just left standing there….you and Brad.

And Peter. 

The sound of squeaky sneakers running down the hall seems to break him out of whatever trance he was held in and he steps back a bit, almost causing you to let out an audible sigh of relief. God, you could just kiss the person who decided to unintentionally interrupt whatever moment was just happening between you two. 

Or not. 

Because when you both turned to see who it was, your heart fell. Peter Parker is standing there, backpack hanging off his elbow, binder bursting with loose papers in hand, and staring at you like a deer caught in headlights. 

For a second, none of you say anything. Brad’s looking confused, staring at Peter. Peter is looking at you, then at Brad, then at you again. And you, well, you’re just wishing the school hallway would split in half and swallow you whole. You’ve run through a few different scenarios in your head, and falling into the earth’s core sounds the most appealing. 

Then Peter moves closer, clearing his throat as he approaches the both of you. “Hey guys, how’ve you been?” He asked. 

Neither you nor Brad replied. 

“Right. Hey man,” he turned to face Brad, his face suddenly serious, “don’t you drive a black BMW? Red rims, red interior?”

“Um, yeah, I do,” Brad answered skeptically. 

Peter blew out a long breath. “Think you might be in trouble dude. I just heard the principal saying he was gonna get it towed, something about you parking wrong.”

“What?!” Brad’s whole demeanor changed on a dime and you almost felt sorry for him. 

Peter held up both his hands. “I’m serious man, that’s what I heard. But don’t ask me,” he pointed to the hall behind him, “go ask Mr. Morita.” 

Brad stared at you for a moment before walking off, mumbling something about ‘another fucking ticket’ as you watched him leave. You almost grabbed his arm like a child, almost asked him to stay, just so you wouldn’t be alone with Peter. 

You swallowed. Brad had finally turned the corner, leaving him officially out of your eyesight and leaving you standing alone with your ex. It’s funny really, how you went from talking about suicidal classic authors with your friend a few minutes ago, to this. 

Yup, the Earth’s core sounds amazing right now.

For all the words he had to say when Brad was here, Peter was awfully silent now, doing that weird stare thing he did in the ice cream shop the other day. But there was no Ned to play polite this time, and no MJ to hold on a leash so she doesn’t bite. It was just you and him. 

And you had no problem running. 

You turned so quick, it took him a second to register the movement, and by the time he did, you were halfway down the hall. He ran after you. 

“Y/N, wait. Please.” He reached out a hand to place on your shoulder. You jerked away, his hand barely brushing your cardigan. 

You’re both standing in the hallway, and you’re still avoiding his eyes when you say, “We’re not doing this.” You shook your head and ran off, leaving a somber-eyed Peter in your wake.

There was no parking violation. Peter lied. But he had to. 

He’d gotten caught up doing some last-minute homework in the library. Spider-Man duties were keeping him busy lately because when he wasn’t fighting crime on the streets of Queens, he was spending time with you. 

He knows it isn’t right, he knows it isn’t fair, but god if it doesn’t feel good. He loves spending time with you and he hates that he can’t do it more often, hates even more that it’s his fault. And he damn sure wasn’t going to cut your meetups short because he had a few math questions waiting to be answered. 

So on his way back, the halls were empty when he suddenly heard a very familiar voice. You. 

But you were with someone. Brad. The thought made him roll his eyes. 

You were currently going off about how great Brad was doing so far in his role in the play you were managing. Stupid Brad, Peter was sure the only reason anything was going right in the planning of the show was because of you, you were the best person they could’ve picked for the job and all Brad had to do was say a few lines. You were the one who dealt with everything else. Brad should’ve been praising you, not the other way around.

He’d heard Brad’s response to your compliments and almost rolled his eyes again until he heard your response. Of course, you were being an absolute sweetheart. You probably had no clue what words like that meant coming for someone like you. You were probably oblivious to your effect on people, as you were probably oblivious to Brad’s true feelings about you.

You both went quiet for a moment, leaving Peter to wonder what happened when he heard Brad’s voice again. 

“There’s um, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you, actually.”

No. 

No, no, no, no. No. 

If he were totally honest with himself, he knew it was coming. Especially after you told him about your little scavenger hunt around the school, and how well you got along with him, how kind he was being towards you. Brad didn’t just randomly see you in the hall and decide to say ‘hey’. He had class. Peter knew because he was supposed to be in that exact class right now.

He could handle another detention. 

Before he even knew it, he was running down the halls. He had no idea what he was going to do, even less what he was going to say but none of that mattered at the moment. He just had to make sure this didn’t go any further. There was no way he could stand by and listen to you agree to go out with some other guy. 

And then he was standing there, you’d both seen him, and it was too late to turn back. He stared for a minute, noticing how close Brad was standing next to you. His gaze flickered between you and him and all he could think was how wrong it would be for you to end up with someone like Brad. Stupid, stupid Brad, who hung out with all the stupid jocks, and threw those stupid house parties all the time. Who only talked about his stupid car, and what model it was-

An Idea popped into his head. 

He couldn’t help it. Bro Peter stepped out and dealt with Brad, knowing the one thing that would completely get rid of him at the moment. He wasn’t thinking about the consequences. 

As he’d suspected Brad left with almost no hesitation, Peter almost doubling over with how quickly he fell for it. 

And then, he was left with you, and every ounce of confidence, every word in his lifelong vocabulary, crumbled. It never ceased to amaze him how easily you could completely undo him. He was an avenger, for crying out loud, he had literally saved New York and, he didn’t want to sound cocky but, the world. He had faced villains, of all sorts, so despicable, it’s a wonder he’s alive at all. But he did it. 

But you…. He’s never felt like this before. So nervous, anxious, and scared to mess something up when all he wants is to fix it. In the superhero world, stunned silence isn’t an option. One moment of hesitation and everything could go to shit. But now, he’s not sure what the best course of action is. He’s not sure if speaking to you will make things worse, or better. If saying anything at all will give him more of a fighting chance. Was there even any chance of a fighting chance?

He didn’t miss how you hadn’t said a word and all he could think was ‘Please talk! Say something! Give me a hint for what I’m supposed to say!”

He was just stuck in place, staring directly at your face taking in your expression. You wouldn’t meet his eyes and there was no stopping the pang of guilt in his gut. You looked skittish, and it should’ve been no surprise to him when you turned to take off but it still took him a second to shake off that moment. 

Just a second though, because soon he was running right after you. He wasn’t going to let you off so easy this time. 

He’d called for you to stop, reaching his hand for your shoulder in hopes of getting you to listen. The way you jerk back as if his touch might burn you snaps something in him. 

And there they are, your first words to him (Peter him) since the breakup:

“We’re not doing this.”

And you’re already moving away again, already slipping away from him again while his hand hangs in the air. He almost touched you. Maybe it was better that he didn’t because he thought he might’ve never let go. 

He’s not sure if you meant what you told him as Spider-Man. Maybe it was just another one of your jokes. But he’s not ready to give up hope yet. He’ll give you time if that's what you need, he’s just scared of who else might try to make their move during that time. 

For now, he’s just gonna work on getting his shit together. 

And that starts with going to class, and getting his work turned in.

There’s a buzz in the air when you enter the auditorium the next day, that can only be described as highly-caffeinated-extremely-enthusiastic-high-school-theater-kids. You were all feeling the anticipation of your work these past few weeks being shared with all your friends and family. 

You were walking around checking up on the last-minute touchups. You walked up on stage and stopped in your tracks. “Oh my god,” your hand flies up to your mouth, “you guys! This is beautiful!”

The set group (Noah, Lacy, and Jack) all grinned up at you. They all had some form of paint on them. Lacy adorned a pair of overalls that consisted of black and navy blue splatters going up and down the front of her. Jack’s T-shirt looked as if it were being used as a rag for his hands, so there were so many colors intertwining with each other, that you couldn’t pick out a single one. Noah was the messiest of the group, this specific set being mostly his responsibility. The knees of his jeans were stained black, but it didn’t end there. He looked like a tornado of night, with all sorts of shades clinging to any visible part of him. Blues, blacks, indigos, you name it. And they were all gleaming with pride. 

“Hey Y/N,” Noah beamed at you. “We just finished the last backdrop.”

Behind them all was the backdrop which would be used for the last scene of the play. Lexi and Brad (or Stephanie and Gabriel, per the script) would stand in front of it and finally declare their love for one another, commencing their forever after with a passionate kiss. 

You knew it was supposed to be a night sky, but what you hadn’t known was how well of a job they would do. 

You let out a breathless laugh. “I can see that. It's stunning you guys, truly.” Although Midtown High was a school that specialized in the education of science and technology, the students here were extremely in touch with their creative sides as well. And that fact had never been more obvious to you than in that moment. 

“There's still one more finishing touch, and then it’ll be perfect.” Lacy grinned at you before running backstage. 

You were staring at where she'd just been, a furrow in your brows, when Jack nudged you lightly, “Oh, this is what she’s been waiting for since we started.”

Lacy came back, almost tripping over herself with how fast she was running. She held up a jar that sparkled in the auditorium lights as she moved it around, “Glitter!”

You grinned and clapped your hands together, “Oh I’m so happy I get to be here for this.”

Noah and Jack stood to the side while you and Lacy approached the large backdrop from the side. She made quick work of unscrewing the top and setting it beside her. She leaned over slightly and tilted the jar a tad before sprinkling it over the spacious work of art. 

If sprinkling glitter were a profession, Lacy would be a pro. 

You quickly figured out why she was so excited about this step, and it wasn’t just the glitter. Adding the glitter gave the scene more life. It made it look as if it were real, and you were looking at a sky bursting with sparkling stars.

 After getting the area in front of her, she turns to you, holding out the jar. “Here! Give it a go.”

You stared a her a bit before quickly shaking your head, “Lace, I never thought someone could be good at sprinkling glitter, yet here I am. You were like a freaking fairy! I’d totally ruin it, and I can’t do that to you guys.”

You held your hands up and started backing away slowly. You could hear Jack and Noah laughing behind you. 

Lacy just rolled her eyes with a smile stuck on her face. “Nonsense, Y/N, you’re a pro at everything you do,” she lowered her voice a little, “like that scavenger hunt?”

You gave her a look before turning around to make sure Mrs. Lightbody was nowhere around. “None of that,” you hiss, “that was a one-time thing! And it was a group effort!”

“Oh come on,” Noah this time. “We all know you had the hardest list of the bunch. Seriously Y/N, if Brad hadn’t shown me the list, I never would’ve believed that you did all that.”

Jack nodded. “Honestly, me and Lace wrote that as a little joke, like, ‘Hey, what if we were really wild with this? What would we do?’ And you came and proved us all wrong.”

Lacy hummed her agreement, “What they said, exactly. And this is just a bit of glitter. No big deal!” She grabbed your arm and pulled you towards her. 

You laughed lightly, feeling yourself grow a little flustered under their praises. You grabbed the jar of glitter from Lacy and went to work, being extra careful so you don’t ruin all their hard work.

“This is good glitter,” you say softly, completely concentrated on the task at hand. 

“Oh my gosh! I know right!” Lacy practically squeals her response. You laughed but could hear Noah groaning behind you. You finish with the glitter, screwing it shut before turning back to face him. 

“There’s no such thing as ‘good glitter’,” He did air quotes on that last part, sounding extremely frustrated and something told you this wasn’t the first time they had this conversation.

“Yes, there is! She just said so!” Lacy was standing her ground. Suddenly, she turned towards you, “Y’know who can settle this? Lexi. Go find her Y/N, take the glitter, and ask her what she thinks. She’s gonna agree with me, I can already feel it.”

You held in a laugh. “Sure thing Lace.” You turn to go find your other friend and as you're walking away you can still hear them arguing, Noah not convinced that glitter could be good or bad. It’s just glitter. 

You walked around the auditorium looking for Lexi and failing to find her. You started asking around, feeling sure that someone had to have seen her. You knew she was here, having seen her enter at the start of rehearsals. Walking around the front of the auditorium, peering down aisles, you were about to go check backstage when you heard a Brad Davis.

Now you’re not sure why, you didn’t do anything wrong after all, but a panic settled in you. Next thing you knew, you jumped into one of the aisles and crouched down. 

He was walking up the main row between the chairs, script in hand, talking to someone beside him who you couldn’t see. They were moving closer to you. Shit. 

In a rush, you start crawling, crawling, down to the opposite side of the aisle they were approaching. You were almost out, but you accidentally pulled down one of the chairs that are built to automatically flip up. Not a loud noise, but loud enough. You wince but don’t stop until you're sitting against the side of the row of chairs, out of their sight. 

You could hear the chatter stop and the footsteps slow. You sucked in your breath and folded in on yourself even more. You were already coming up with a cover for yourself. 

‘Oh, hey Brad. Yeah, I’m on the floor. Not avoiding you or anything, just….decided to see what the view of the stage would be like from here. Not good!’

It sucked and you really hoped you wouldn’t have to use it.

It seemed as though your luck for the day hadn’t expired because you heard them mumble amongst themselves and move on. After a few moments, You let out a sigh of relief and started crawling down towards the stage. You weren’t risking getting seen just yet.

You were starting to like Brad, you really were! But after recent events you had started to think the interest he’d taken in you wasn’t the same as the platonic one you’d taken in him. And you were bad at confrontation or being put on the spot. Obviously.

Plus you figured he’d want to talk about that weird moment with Peter in the hall the day before and you’d rather pretend that didn’t happen at all. Even you didn’t know what that was. 

Moving slowly, you kept your head down, trying to reach the stage so you could just bolt behind the curtains. Suddenly, a pair of pointed-toe black flats came into your view. You paused and slowly looked up. In front of you stood Ms. Lightbody. 

“Hi.” You said meekly. She looked down at you with a furrow in her brows, “Hello Miss Y/L/N. May I ask what you’re doing?”

You fumbled for a moment but finally found yourself. Clearing your throat, you stood up and dusted yourself off. “I dropped an earring.”

Way better than that other bullshit you were thinking of. 

She stared at both your ears, which adorned a pair of earrings you never took off. “Oh?”

“I’ve already put it back in,” you explained to her lamely. She gazed somewhere behind you and you followed her stare. Brad and his friend were still walking up and down the main row, lost in some conversation. You gulped, if she had seen you earlier, it would’ve been fairly obvious to her the real reason behind your little floor exploration. And that was just embarrassing. 

She hummed in response, “I see.” Her voice carried some tone of understanding and you felt yourself run hot with embarrassment under her gaze. 

“Did you need something, Miss?” You rushed out quickly, hoping to change the subject. 

“Yes,” she focused her gaze on you now, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say there was a sprinkle of amusement in her eyes. 

Ms. Lightbody was a newer addition to Midtown’s staff. She came in to replace the school’s previous drama teacher, and she also subbed at times. Most of the student body disliked her, thinking her short-tempered and strict but you knew that was far from the truth. It seemed this play helped you better understand your peers and superiors alike. She was an amazing teacher and, contrary to popular belief, she wasn’t an impatient maniac who didn’t have the skill set to teach. She was always willing to help someone who didn’t understand, but what she didn’t tolerate was purposeful incompetence.  

“Lexi is in one of the rooms backstage, I need you to go find her and tell her there’s one more scene we need to rehearse.” She paused and looked behind you again. “And I suggest you get to that soon because I think your friend, Mr. Davis, has spotted you.”

You blanched, unsure whether to dwell on the fact that she knew, or that Brad had spotted you. You turn slightly only to see Brad already looking towards you. 

You quickly snapped your head towards the lady in front of you again. “On it!” You told her, not waiting for a response before shooting up the stage and behind the curtain. 

You could’ve sworn you heard her laugh. 

You were backstage looking for Lexi. It wasn’t like her to stay tucked away like this, since rehearsals had started she was always ready for anything, talking things over with the other cast members, ready for criticism but rarely needing it. There was probably no one on the cast who was as excited as her. 

“Lex, you here?” You whispered softly. Behind the stage was empty and dark. You walked around carefully, trying not to accidentally trip on anything of the string or left-out equipment. All of this was going to need to be changed before tomorrow evening. 

Suddenly, so quiet you could barely hear it, was a shuffling noise. You looked around for some switch, finding it on the wall to your left. You switched it on and the action earned you a hiss from someone a little further in the room. 

You turned quickly, finding Lexi sitting at one of the small makeup desks, hands coming up to cover her face as if she were some vampire. 

That worried you. 

You rushed to her, placing a soft hand on her shoulder. “Lex,” your tone was quiet so as not to disturb her anymore. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

She looked up at you, hair disheveled, face a little pale, and eyes tired. “No, no I’m fine.” She shook her head but you weren’t convinced. 

You moved to sit at the desk next to her. “Okay,” you said softly, “then why are you sitting back here?”

She sighed a little. “I’ve just had a small headache since lunch. But I’ll be okay really. 

Your frown only deepens. “Did you eat today? Drink water?”

She nodded then rubbed her temples a little, shutting her eyes as she did so. “It’s probably my fault, I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m just tired.”

Her eyes snapped open and she looked more alert now. She clasped her hands together and smiled at you. “So wake me up Y/N/N. Tell me something interesting.”

Skeptically, you eyed her up and down. “Are you sure that's all? Should I take you to see the nurse?”

She shook her head again, her hair flying around her face as she did so. “No. I’m actually feeling better already, talking to you. I think the smell of Noah’s Axe Body Spray was just really setting everything off.” She gestured her hands around herself. 

You laughed, glad to see her acting like herself again. “But seriously,” she said, putting a hand on your knee. “Talk to me, it’s waking me up. How was your day?”

You let out a breath and leaned back in the chair, looking up to the ceiling. “Brad asked me out.”

She gasped so loud, you started up in your seat. “Shut up. Shut up!”

Smiling, you shook your head. “Well not yet. But I know it’s coming, you know what I mean? He keeps trying to get me alone, and he gets really close and starts staring into my eyes and everything. But he keeps getting interrupted.”

She gasped again, softer this time, and held her hand to her chest. “Oh my god. That’s so cute! Are you gonna say yes?”

You stilled for a moment. Were you going to say yes? You’d figured out what was most likely coming your way, but you hadn’t really thought of how to handle it. You couldn’t crawl across floors to avoid him forever. That would make graduation very awkward. 

And at the same time, you didn’t want to reject him. Brad was sweet, maybe not the type of person you usually went for, but he had his own things. Maybe you needed something new, something different. 

But something in your gut was telling you maybe you shouldn’t go out with someone who made you panic-crawl on the floor just to avoid having a conversation with them. 

Not to mention, you just weren’t interested in him like that. At all.

Lexi was going on about something or other, seemingly fine at the moment. “I totally knew he was into you. I mean, that whole picking you up in the library thing?” She shook her head. “Not just a platonic thing.”

You laughed loudly and stood up. You held out a hand for her to take. “Come on Lex, everyone’s looking for their star.”

She took your hand and stood. “I bet they are, I’ll have to apologize for hogging you from them.”

You laughed again and started pushing her towards the front stage. “Oh! I almost forgot to tell you! We’re playing with glitter!”

The rest of the day went by smoothly. You, Lexi, and Lacy applied the finishing touches to the backdrop. As Lacy had guessed, Lexi agreed with her. Lacy went on about all the qualities the perfect glitter should consist of; ‘catches the light, soft, and dustable.’

You were sure that last one wasn’t even a word but Noah gave in eventually and let the girls have their win. But that wasn’t enough for the three of you. Not wanting to put the glitter away just yet, you started sprinkling it on each other. 

Word spread across the auditorium like wildfire, and soon, a line started forming on the stage to get glitter sprinkled on you, boys and girls alike. Ms. Lightbody shut that down quick.

You stuck to avoiding Brad for the rest of the day. It wasn’t hard, you were both busy, him being one of the leads and you helping with a little bit of everything and making sure everyone stayed in order (with the exception of the glitter fiasco). 

At the end, Ms. Lightbody had gathered you all around to talk about how tomorrow was going to go. She went over the basics, what time the show was going to start, and what time you all had to be there. It was things you all already knew but it was good to go over. In the end, you thought she looked a little sad, and apparently, you weren’t the only one because someone else pointed it out. That made everyone jump and you all pulled her into a group hug. This little group had become like a crazy family and you were forever grateful you had a chance to be part of it. 

You left quickly after that, wanting to get out before Brad offered to walk you home or something. You said bye to your friends, taking extra time with Lexi. She had been more reserved after you two talked, not as tired as you’d found her backstage, but still not quite herself. You told her to get lots of sleep tonight. She was needed tomorrow

Now, you were sitting on the rooftop ledge, kicking your feet as Spider-Man sat next to you.

“Are you excited?” He asked. 

You nodded, smiling. “Very. We’ve all been working really hard for this. And you should see how great a job everyone has done. I can’t wait to see it all put together finally.”

“I’m sure you’ve done a great job,” he nods. “I really wish I could be there. You’re gonna need to take some videos for me. Show me afterward.”

You grinned wide. “Seriously? You’d wanna see?”

“Heck yea I wanna see,” he said, voice serious.

“Okay.” You nodded. “I’ll take plenty of videos, don’t worry.”

“Thank you.” He said, raising a hand a ruffling your hair. You laughed and slapped his hand away. He stared at you a little before asking, “What’s in your hair?

You grinned wide. “Glitter.”

He shook his head, laughing. “I don’t even wanna know.” You giggled beside him. 

 “Are your friends going to be there?” He asked.

“Um,” you say, still smiling. “Yeah, I think so. They said they will, and I think it’ll be fun.” MJ had told you she was definitely going to be there, she couldn’t wait to make fun of the kids in the play, she’d already bought her ticket. Ned said he wanted to see it as well, and Peter…well, after recent events you couldn’t think of any reason he’d be there. He probably wouldn’t be able to find the time in his busy schedule, even if you two were still together. So it was better like this. 

“What about your parents? Are they gonna try to make it?”

A beat passed before you replied. “No,” you shook your head. “I don’t think they’re gonna be there.”

He was quiet for a moment, not sure what to say. He almost regretted asking. 

“But it’s okay,” you said, your voice so soft, it took everything in him not to reach over and pull you into his arms. “I wasn’t expecting them to anyway. I have my friends, that’s enough.” You cleared your throat and wrapped your arms around yourself. 

He watched you for a bit and it hit him then, just how strong you were. How much you had on your plate at the moment. How little you let it show. 

Your parents were basically roommates to you, you barely saw them, they were just there. The play you were managing? While everyone else had one job, one task they needed to focus on and get done, you were involved in everything. He remembered you mentioned to him a few weeks ago something about your phone blowing up since planning started. He never thought much of it then. 

The more he thought about it, the more he realized you were always doing this. When it wasn’t the play it was something with your family, or tutoring other kids at school. And on top of all of that, you were always available for your friends whenever they needed you, and your grades never slipped. Your essays and tests were used by your teachers as examples. He always knew, but not really. It was painfully obvious right now. And it was even more obvious to him that he never helped. He should’ve helped make things easier for you, because he loves you, because he cares for you. But all he did was add to your plate. The thought made him feel sick. 

“I’m so sorry,” Even through his voice-changer you could hear the sincerity, the despair in his voice. Your brows furrowed. 

“You don’t need to apologize, it’s not that big of a deal. I swear,” you told him sincerely. 

He nodded but the movement almost looked forced. “How have you been?”

You paused. “Good,” you nodded, as if confirming your own statement. “Busy, but good.”

“Have you taken a moment to breathe recently? Just relax yourself for a few seconds?”

You were taken aback by his question. No one had ever asked you that. “I- I don’t think so,” you replied quietly. 

“Alright, that’s okay, we can do that together. Here,” he held out both his hands, palms up. “put your hands in mine.”

You followed his lead and placed your hands in his. The material of his suit felt smooth, but thicker than it looked, and you were surprised to see how well your hands fit together. 

“Close your eyes.” He said, and you saw the whites of his mask flicker shut. You followed his lead. 

“Great. Now big breath, through your mouth.” You sucked in a handful of air, the sound ringing out like a quick gasp. 

His hands gave yours a gentle squeeze. “No,” he said, voice soft. You felt your face heat up and you tried again, this time slowly letting the air enter and fill your lungs.

“Now out through the nose.”

You let the air leave you, not even realizing how tense you were until you felt yourself relax. Your eyes fluttered open and you found him already staring at you. His thumbs had started gently caressing your hands and you found you didn’t mind at all.

“A few more times.” He told you, and you nodded at him. You closed your eyes again and repeated your actions from before, more sure of yourself this time.

When you had finished, you opened your eyes again. His eyes were still open and you thought his mask shifted into something like a grin.

“Better?” He asked you, and you smiled, nodding your head. It was crazy to you to think about how over these past few days, that very mask had turned into a comforting sight for you. You really thought of New York’s Spider-Man as a friend. And you hoped he felt the same.

You nodded again, unable to take your eyes off of him. You weren’t even aware you were still holding hands until he removed his from yours. You almost protested, your hands suddenly feeling colder than they ever have. 

But then he brought his hands up to cup each side of your face. 

Oh. 

You were sure you were melting. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, and you couldn’t even see his face! You wished he’d just rip it off, you wouldn’t care who was underneath. 

He brought his face closer and leaned his forehead against yours. Your eyes fluttered shut. You stayed that way for a minute, both of you just enjoying the moment before you decided to speak. 

“Take it off.” You whispered. 

“What?” He asked, his voice matching your volume. You had opened your eyes and you were looking at him now. You could clearly see the eyes of his mask were still closed and you fought off a smile. 

You brought up your hand to his face and traced his jawline. You could feel his jaw flex underneath your fingers and you could’ve sworn you heard him gulp. 

“Take it off.” You repeated, your thumbs now caressing his cheekbones. 

His eyes flew open and he leaned back. “No,” he shook his head, moving even further from where you two were seated next to each other. 

Your brows shot up at his sudden change of demeanor. You wished you hadn’t said anything. “Ok,” you said, voice quiet. “You don’t have to. I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I was just- ugh I’m so sorry.”

“No!” He repeated. “Don’t apologize I- you did nothing wrong.”

But the way he was acting was making you feel otherwise.

“I have to go. Good luck tomorrow.” He said, stood up, flung out his wrist, and started swinging through the buildings faster than you could blink. 

Fuck. 

You were a wreck. 

Everyone was running all over the place, orders being shouted across the entire backstage. Some people seemed to have invited their friends to hang out backstage (which was not allowed). Every corner was packed. And you were in the middle of it all. 

“Y/N!” Ms. Lightbody called for you from across the swarm of bodies. You made your way through everyone, not stopping until you were standing in from of her. She placed a hand on your shoulder and steered you until you were both standing in a corner, as far away from the others as you could get. 

“Miss Walker isn’t here, and it’s starting to become a problem.” She told you, voice serious.

You blanched. “Lexi isn’t here yet?!”

She shushed you. “I don’t want to start a commotion. Things are barely going smoothly as is, and this will not make it better. Everyone will start worrying if they find out their lead hasn’t arrived, and we cannot have that.”

You nodded at her, mind racing. “What do we do?”

She sighed, “For now? Wait and hope for the best, there’s still a bit more time.”

You nodded again and she took a second to look around the room. “What is all this? Half these kids have no business here!” She turned towards you again. “I'm going to try to reach Miss Walker’s mother, deal with all these children Y/N, please. I want them gone by the time I get back.”

She turned to leave before she remembered something that had her turning right back, “You have Miss Walker’s contact information, correct?” You nodded at her again. “Great. Try to get ahold of her, will you? The sooner we figure this out the better.”

“Sure thing Ms. Lightbody.” You told her, waving her off, your voice sounding a hundred times more confident than you felt. 

You watched her walk out the back door to make her phone call, and you paused for a moment, unsure what to do first. You turned and pulled out your phone. Heading for the door Ms. Lightbody just walked out of, you pulled up your message thread with Lexi.

girl WRU !!!

you were needed like 30 mins ago !!!! 

get here-

You bumped into someone, your phone flying out of your hand before you could send that last one. You would’ve been sent flying backward if the person hadn’t gripped your waist tight to keep you steady.

“Woah, careful.”

You’d know that voice anywhere. Peter. 

“Parker,” you said, backing away quickly. “What are you doing here?” And you don’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it did but…there’s just a lot on your plate right now. 

And it seems he can tell. He bent over to grab your phone, placing it back in your hands. “The lady at the office saw me walking by and asked me to drop these off.” He waved a big bag you hadn’t noticed in his other hand. 

You reached for it, saying, “Oh my god, perfect.” At the same time, he asked, “Are you okay?”

You completely ignored him, taking the bag from his hands. Turning around, you caught Jack walking by at just the right moment. “Jack! Here,” you called him over, “Those supplies you guys were asking for.”

“Sweet, thanks Y/N/N!” He said, leaning in to give you a quick hug. You smile but then quickly shove him away, “Thank J, but you really need to go finish. Like, right now.”

He straightened his posture and saluted you. “Ma’am yes ma’am!” He said, then he turned to Peter, who had been watching the whole exchange, “Sup Parker.” He sent a little head nod towards him, as he started walking away. 

Peter returned it, brows slightly furrowed as he looked between the two of you, “Hey man.” 

You started walking around, trying to count up how many people there were who weren’t a part of the cast or crew. 

One, two, three-

You felt a hand placed on your shoulder and you turned quickly, only to see Peter still hasn’t left. 

You looked at him in disbelief. The nerve of this guy. There’s no way he seriously thinks you’re going to talk about the two of you right now, is there?

“How are you?” He asks again and you’ve never found someone dumber than you did right now. 

“Hello?! Things aren’t going too hot in case you can’t tell, and you aren’t exactly helping right now!”

He nodded, “Okay. What can I do to help?”

You scoffed. “I don’t know, leave. It’s so crowded in here and I have to get all these extra people out. Shit,” you smacked your forehead. “I forgot I have to find Lexi. Fuck! And I have to-.”

“Y/N!” Someone shouted your name for the umpteenth time that night. You turned and met Vanessa, one of the people in charge of makeup. 

“We’re out of setting powder.”

“What?!”

She winces. “I know, I’m so sorry. We thought we had enough but then some of the boys were playing and knocked over-,”

You waved her off, not wanting to hear the rest of it. “Okay, okay. Do none of the other girls have any extra? Is no one willing to lend you some?”

She shook her head. “No! I already asked. I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ll get you some.” Peter stepped in. “Just send me a picture of what it looks like and I’ll be back in ten minutes tops.”

Vanessa gasped, “Dude. You’re a lifesaver. Y/N,” she met your eyes, “your boyfriend is a lifesaver!”

“Oh he’s not-,” you started, but she was already walking away. You turned towards Peter, the disbelief on your face getting stronger every time you looked at him today. 

You started shaking your head, “What on earth are you doing Parker?”

“Helping you.” He said as if it were the easiest thing on earth. He wondered if you were making a conscious effort not to say his first name. 

Your head wouldn’t stop shaking left and right. “What? What do you- I don’t-,”

He cut you off, “And I’m gonna get rid of all the people who don’t belong here too.” He looked around the room before looking down at you. “You, just…take care of yourself Y/N. Don’t stress too much, it’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure you even have the time?”

Shit. 

His face fell and you immediately felt guilt seep into your bones. 

“Peter I’m so-,” 

He cut you off again, his voice quieter this time. “No, that was..that was fair. But I mean it.” He raised his voice, sounding more sure now. “I’m going to help you out.”

He stepped away from you suddenly, leaving you standing with your mouth agape. He walked to the end of the room, stopping right before the door. “Alright, everyone! Listen up,” He clapped his hands together, his voice booming around the room. Everyone quieted down to hear him.

“Unless you had some part in putting all this together, I’m going to need you to follow me out right now. Let everyone do their thing, we don’t need to bother them any more than we already have.”

Everyone was still for a second.

“And,” he continued, “Ms. Lightbody gave me permission to start handing out detentions.”

That got everyone moving. Your brows furrowed as a sea of students started moving through the room and out the door. Ms. Lightbody did no such thing. 

Peter stood to the side, holding the door open. It had come down to the last few people and Peter held back a boy. “You,” he told him, “I’m gonna need you to stay outside this door and make sure no one enters unless they’re part of the cast or crew. We can’t have that happening again.”

“Oh shit. Like a bouncer?” The kid asked eagerly.

Peter stared for a bit before he nodded. “Yeah man, exactly. And listen,” he pointed at you, “if you’re not sure, you ask her, alright?”

The boy turned towards you and you offered him a smile. “Damn! She’s smokin’!” He exclaimed. If you weren’t so busy, you might’ve blushed.

Peter narrowed his eyes, and it seemed like he was considering something before he quickly shook his head. He grabbed the boy by the shoulder and placed him on the outside of the door. 

“Vanessa!” He shouted. “Send me a picture of the powder, I’m going right now.”

“Already sent Pete, thanks!” She shouted back, giving him a thumbs up from where she was standing by the makeup chairs. 

Pete? Why would she call him Pete? She doesn’t know him like that. I used to call him Pete-

You stopped your train of thought. You could not afford to think like that right now.

“Perfect.” He said, he made to move away but his eyes met yours and he froze. “I’m gonna…” he trailed off, feet stuck to the ground as his thumb pointed to the door. 

“Of course,” you nodded quickly. “And Peter,” you stop him before he turns to go, “thank you. So much.” You hoped your voice carried the sincerity you felt.

He smiled at you softly, “Anything for you Y/N/N.”

This time, you did blush. You turned away before he could see you and placed a palm on your forehead. 

“Wow,” a voice said from beside you. Brad. “Didn’t know Parker had that in him.”

“Yeah,” you whispered, “me either.”

“Hey, where’s Lexi?” Someone in the room asked. You felt your heart drop. Lexi. You’d completely forgotten about her after that whole thing with Peter. 

You had a show that needed to start in less than an hour and your star still hadn’t shown up. 

You pulled out your phone again, pulling up her contact. You were about to hit the ‘call’ button but right then, Ms. Lightbody walked in. 

She was holding her phone to her ear, and she was staring straight at you, her face full of dread.

“Lexi can’t make it. She’s got some type of flu, she can’t get out of bed. I am on the phone with her mother right now.”

Your jaw dropped. Chatter broke out everywhere. The kids were panicking, wondering what to do now, now that the lead of the whole show wasn’t going to be here.

Fuck. You should’ve known, yesterday when you saw her. But you were stupid enough to believe it was just lack of sleep. You should’ve figured it out faster so you could’ve planned something. Stupid, stupid, stupid-

“Miss Y/L/N.” You looked up when you heard your name. “She’s asking to speak to you.” Ms. Lightbody holds her phone out for you to take. 

Your eyes widen, “Me?”

She nodded, hand still outstretched toward you. You swallowed and walked your way toward her. You reached for the phone and held it to your ear. The chatter around the room stopped, everyone straining to hear what was going to happen next.

“Hello?”

“It wasn’t the Axe Body Spray.”

You barked out a laugh at the unexpected joke. “Lex! Be serious, what happened.”

“I got sick when I got home from rehearsal yesterday, I’ve been asleep since.” It was then that you heard how different her voice sounded. Nasally and broken, like she’d swallowed a lawn mower. 

“My mom’s only woken me up about twice to drink some medicine,” she continued, breaking into a fit of coughing at the end of her sentence. Yeah, maybe it was a good thing she didn’t come.

“Lex,” you repeated, sounding more desperate this time, “what’re we gonna do?”

“Wait,” someone in the room with you starts, “what about her understudy?”

“There is no understudy, dumbass!” Someone quipped right back. 

“You,” Lexi said. 

“Huh?” You replied. 

“You, Y/N.” She repeated. “You need to do it. You need to play Stephanie. No one else could do it. You know all the lines. You know the whole play.”

You paled. “Be so fucking for real with me right now Lexi Walker.”

“I am.” She said seriously. Or, as seriously as she could sound when she had to cough after every other word she spoke.

People were leaning in now, trying to hear what was going on between the two of you. You ignored them, “Lex, there’s no way. You know I can’t do that.”

“Oh my god!” Someone shouted. Lacy. “Y/N! Y/N can do it!”

You shook your head quickly. “No! I can’t!” You replied to her, the phone still pressed to your ear.

“You have to, Y/N, please, for me. You know how much this means to me. You’re the only person I trust,” Lexi begged

There are shouts from your cast-mates now, encouraging you to take the role when that was the last thing you wanted to do.

“Lex, babe,” you tried to reason, “I didn’t rehearse as much as you did! I don’t know it like you.”

“No,” she agreed, “you know it better. All that time you spent, going over every detail of the set, the costumes, the script. It was for this. Now please, you know you can do it.”

You paused. You didn’t want to, but it was really looking like you had no choice. You looked around at everyone in the room, they all worked so hard, hell, you worked so hard to make this happen. You weren’t gonna let it all be for nothing.

You rubbed your temple with one hand, the other holding the phone up to your ear. “Do you guys really think I can do it?” You looked around at everyone, hoping they’d answer honestly.

A chorus of agreement rang out from the group but Ms. Lightbody stepped in. “Miss Y/L/N,” she started, “I know none of this has been ideal. And I know we’re asking a lot. You didn’t come in today expecting to step onto that stage, but right now, that’s what we need. And I think we would all appreciate your help in these unexpected circumstances.”

You stared at her for a moment. You always wondered why she spoke so formally all the time, maybe one day you’ll ask her.

“Sure, I’m down.” You shrugged and everyone started cheering. 

“Oh good,” Lexi sighed, “cause I need to go throw up right now, so bye. Tell everyone to take lots of photos and videos for me please!”

You winced. “We will Lex, you just work on feeling better. Now go, I love you.”

“Love you too babe.” She replied before hanging up quickly. 

“Alright,” Ms. Lightbody started pushing you to the makeup chairs. “Have a seat Y/N. Girls,” she turned toward the makeup crew. “Get started on her, afterward, take her to hair and then, get her into her costume.”

They all chorused an agreement and started fussing over you. You were one of the last people to get ready, everyone one else having already had their turn. 

With so many people working on you, your makeup was done in no time. Soon, only Vanessa was left and she was powdering your face.

“Peter came back?” You asked her once you realized what she was holding in her hands. 

She nodded. “Yeah, a few minutes ago, but he didn’t come in, left the stuff with the dude outside the door who’s calling himself our ‘bouncer’.”

You nodded, “Oh okay.”

“You’ve got a great boyfriend Y/N, seriously. Not many guys I know would help out like that, no matter…”

You zoned out while she was doing the finishing touches on your face. Not many guys you know either, Peter included. Or at least, the Peter you’d come to find yourself in a relationship with. The old Peter, however, would’ve done anything for you, and you for him. You got a glimpse of him earlier tonight and you wondered what it was that triggered that. 

The few moments of silence gave you time to go over everything that's been happening recently in your head. You’ve had a hectic past few weeks, but especially this last week. With the last few rehearsals, everything with Peter, everything with Spider-Man. Oh…

And then there was him…

There was a moment yesterday. You tried to gaslight yourself into thinking you imagined it but you didn’t. It was real. Until you ruined it.

You’d gone to bed late last night, staying on the roof even after he’d left in case he decided to come back so you could apologize again. You’d felt downright terrible all night. And this morning. 

It was none of your business to ask him to take off his mask. Who the hell did you think you were? There might’ve been something before but there was no way…not after the way he reacted last night. You’d pissed him off. And now you’d lost another friend.

“There you go!” Vanessa said, pulling back from your face and grinning. She held up a mirror for you to take a look. “What do you think? I think it matches Stephanie’s description pretty well, no?”

You gasped, “Oh my god Vanessa, this is exactly how I pictured her! When all this is over you have to teach me how to do my eyeliner like this.”

“Deal.” She grinned.

Suddenly, Ms. Lightbody walked by. “Who is that child standing outside the door?” She asked. Vanessa shot you a look and you subtly shook your head at her, and at anyone who turned towards you. 

No one answered her. “He asked me for my ID?!” You choked back a laugh. “He doesn’t even go here!” She continued. Everyone successfully avoided her, playing busy with whatever task they had in front of them. Vanessa kept brushing over your face with a clean brush while you both fought back smiles.

“Y/N!” Ms. Lightbody called. You shot out of your chair and approached her. “Yes ma’am?”

“Is your makeup all done?” You nodded while she examined your face. “Very well, head over to hair, we need everyone ready soon! Curtain opens in 15!”

That last one was directed at everybody and you could feel the shift in the atmosphere. If everyone wasn’t working before, they were now. 

You headed over to hair and let one of the people there pin it up for you. After that, you were held into your costume, your friends pulling on layer after layer before finally, you were completely ready. 

You looked in the mirror. “I look I came out a Jane Austen novel,” you murmured. 

Lacy, who stood beside you, laughed. “And it suits you! You look beautiful Y/N, stunningly classic. Very vintage.” She nodded in approval. 

You turned towards her and smiled, “Thank you, Lace.” You sucked in a breath and ran your hand down the hem of your costume. “I’m nervous,” you admitted shyly. 

“Don’t be,” she replied, voice soft. “Hey, if you could pull off that scavenger hunt, this should be a piece of cake.” She smirked wickedly at you. 

You laughed, “Actually, you’re right.”

“I always am.” she shrugged

“SHOWTIME EVERYONE, GET IN YOUR PLACES!” Ms. Lightbody’s voice boomed across the whole backstage. 

You both looked at each other. “Break a leg.” She grinned at you. 

You grinned right back. You could handle this. 

The anxiety from before had mostly worn off. Now, all you felt were nervous jitters and even a little excitement. Everyone was right, you knew everything about this play like the back of your hand, and you were looking forward to being out there with people you’d come to think of as friends. 

You got into place, standing beside Brad and some of your other cast-mates who were going to be in this first scene with you.

“Hey,” he said, voice low and he looked down at you with a large smile on his face. 

“Hi,” you replied, smiling right back. 

“Don’t think I got the chance to tell you, but I’m really happy you’re doing this.”

“Yeah, I think I am too.”

“Curtain warmers on?” Ms. Lightbody spoke into a little headset. “Perfect. And…action!”

The lights blinded you for a second, once the curtain opened, and you had to stop yourself from turning your face away. In the beat you had before the scene came to life, you chanced a glance at the crowd. You really wished you hadn’t. 

Peter Parker was sitting front row. 

As quickly as you looked, you averted your gaze, but not before you noticed a few things. Beside him sat Ned, and in the row behind them, right behind Ned’s chair, sat MJ. And all three of them had their mouths hanging open. You had to fight down the heat threatening to rise to your face. 

You never told them, hell, you didn’t even know. What were they gonna think? There was no way you could pull this off, you were all fooling yourselves, everyone was wrong and-

The first line was delivered, and it all came to life. 

You were panting, running backstage. There was a small intermission at the moment, and you had just changed your outfit, from the simple gown you were adorning, to a bigger one. This one was more detailed and more eye-catching. It was supposed to be special because it was meant for the last scene of the whole play. The confession. Your kiss with Brad.

In the heat of the moment, you’d forgotten that specific detail. And as you sat down in the makeup chair again and one of the girls reapplied your lipstick, it was all you could think about. 

You had to kiss Brad. And Peter would be sitting front row watching the whole thing. 

That shouldn’t matter. First of all, it was all part of an act. Even if you were still with Peter, (which you weren’t. You had to keep reminding yourself of that little detail) it wouldn’t have mattered because you were doing it for the play. A play you weren’t even planning on being a part of, acting-wise, of course. 

And then there was Spider-Man. If there was anyone you had to be kissing right now, you wished it was him. But there was no chance of that happening after last night. You wondered how he was feeling right now. He’d probably tell you to relax and stop stressing yourself out. 

The thought made you take in a breath through your mouth, and slowly exhale from your nose. Just like he’d taught you. You felt yourself relax and, not for the first time that night, you decided that you needed to just get through tonight. And then you could worry about everything else. 

The girl helping you with your makeup (you didn’t recognize her, but appreciated the help nonetheless) pulled away and smiled. “Alright, I think you’re good to go.” 

“Thank you.” You smiled back and stood from your chair.

Ms. Lightbody approached you, placing a hand on your shoulder, “Come on, Miss Y/L/N. We need to get you in place.”

You nodded as she led you to the wing on the side of the stage, the curtains were still down, and by the time they opened again, you would be standing on the makeshift balcony (built by the props team), soon to be joined by Brad. 

You went to approach the steps of the balcony when you felt her hold you back.

“I wanted to thank you again Y/N. I know we were all planning on Miss Walker doing all this but honestly…I couldn’t be prouder.”

Your heart warmed at her confession. You were upset you didn’t get to see Lexi shine like you’d been planning but you hoped you’d do her proud. You were glad to know you did Ms. Lightbody proud. 

Without saying a word, you throw your arms around her in a warm embrace. She quickly reciprocated. 

“I know we’ve all given you a hard time these past few weeks, and we don’t say it enough but we appreciate you. All of us.”

You both pulled back and her eyes were full of emotion. “Thank you Y/N, truly. Now go, I’ll get Mr. Davis ready.”

You nodded and stepped onto the set, positioning yourself at the end of the balcony. The balcony protruded from the side of the stage and covered a quarter of it. The backdrop you’d been appreciating just yesterday now stood to your side. You saw parts of it glitter from the light leaking in from backstage and you stifled a laugh.

Soon, the curtain opened. You’d grown used to the lights by now, welcoming their glow over your face. You gripped the railing and played broken-hearted, right now, Stephanie and Gabriel had just had a falling out during a ball and you had run out onto the balcony to get some air. 

“Stephanie.” Brad approached behind you, and you turned around in fake shock.

The hardest part about acting, you’d come to find, was keeping a serious face and not laughing at yourself or your partner.

“Leave me be, Gabriel.” You waved a hand at him, turning away. 

He caught your arm and held it gently between the two of you, standing so close, you were trapped between the railing and him.

“I can’t,” he said, his voice strangled. He looked down at you, face so pained, you almost believed him. 

And so it began, the two of you going back and forth, delivering your lines, monologues about your feelings for each other, and how nothing in the world mattered except holding the other person, even for a moment. 

Brad was finishing up, he was pacing back and forth in front of you while you listened intently.

“…And all this, because I love you.” He stopped in front of you now, hands coming up to cup your face. You did your best to get your expression to convey the love you (or Stephanie) were supposed to be feeling and then it happened. 

Brad leaned, crashing his lips onto yours. You throw your arms around him, meeting him just as eagerly, and tried your best not to think about all the people currently watching suck each other’s faces off. One of his hands traveled down to your waist while the other moved from your cheek to hold the back of your head as he dipped you. Cheers broke out across the crowd. 

You two stayed locked together like that for a few moments as the curtains closed, and then you broke apart. You were both panting, faces flushed, but you didn’t have time to think about what just happened. You and Brad had started moving off the balcony and onto the actual stage itself, the other members of the cast and crew joining you to take the final bow. 

You all lined up across the stage, hands interlocked. With you and Brad in the middle, the curtains opened. You could still hear the applause before, but now, it got even louder and you couldn’t help the big smile that overtook your face. People were whistling, and clapping, someone was even throwing roses. You all took a bow together, and rose together, throwing your interlocked hands in the air. 

Your body was buzzing with adrenaline. It was over, you’d actually done it. You could see Ms. Lightbody standing to the side, gleaming with pride at you all. 

Soon, you all let go of each other and started embracing and exchanging congratulations. Brad turned toward you and pulled you into a tight hug, lifting you up a little. You laughed, holding onto him just as tight. The applause seemed never-ending, even as you all started walking off stage. 

Now backstage, there was a buzz in the air. Not the same as a couple hours ago, which had been anxiety and nerves. This was triumph, pride, and adrenaline. 

“Alright everyone,” Ms. Lightbody approached the center of the room once everyone had reconvened. “We’ve finally finished. And it was a hit.”

That caused everyone to start whooping and shouting. She rolled her eyes but even she couldn’t hide the smile creeping onto her face. 

She held up a hand, “Okay. I just wanted to let you all know, how proud I am of each and every single one of you. You all worked so hard to make this happen and you worked through every problem that came your way.” She gave you a pointed look and the cheers started up again. 

You hid your face in your hands as your friends pulled you into side hugs. “And I just wanted to say,” she continued. “We’ve all had a long night. Leave the cleaning for another day, everyone, go celebrate!”

She waved her hands and everyone started cheering again, moving as one to the back door to meet up with their friends and family. 

As soon as you entered the hall you were bombarded by thanks and praises from your friends. You thanked them and threw their compliments right back at them, saying that this whole thing was a group effort. 

You were flying from one group to another, everyone shouting your name. You were currently with Noah, Jack, and Lacy, telling them how good a job they did on the sets when you heard your name being shouted out again.

You turned around and saw MJ. Grinning, you excused yourself from the group and charged at her, pulling her into a hug without giving her any time to protest. To your surprise, she pulled you in just as tight. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She mumbled into your hair. 

“Oh my god,” you started, “MJ it was insane. It all happened so fast, that Lexi got sick, so she didn’t show up! And I knew all the lines and stuff so I had to step in cause no one thought of casting an understudy and-,”

You pulled back from the hug but kept your hands on her shoulders. “Oh my god, what did you think? Was it bad? You can tell me -,”

“No! No way, holy shit Y/N, it was so good!” 

“Seriously?” you smiled at her. “What happened to the whole ‘school productions are so cringe’ mindset?”

“That was before her best friend was starring in one,” said Ned. You hadn’t realized he was standing beside you two, with Peter beside him.

“Don’t worry, Y/N,” He continued. “The show was amazing. And you popping up on stage was a fun surprise.”

You grinned at him. “Thank you, Ned! I’m so happy you all made it.” You looked at Peter and offered him a small smile. He’d really helped you out today, and the fact that he’d made it to the actual show, and stuck it out till the end, meant a lot as well. 

“Oh of course we made it!” Ned cut it, putting your attention back on him. “Petey here wouldn’t shut up about it. Went out and bought you flowers and everything.”

Your mouth fell open at his words, and for the first time, you noticed the large bouquet in Peter’s arms. You saw Peter nudge his friend hard and Ned winced before his face lit up in understanding. He grabbed MJ by the hand (which she quickly yanked back from him) and said, “Ok, well we’re gonna go talk to someone else. Congrats Y/N!” But you didn’t have a chance to reply before he was scurrying off, MJ with him. 

You stared at them for a bit before turning all your attention to Peter. He cleared his throat before saying, “Hey.”

“Hi.”

“These are for you,” he said, holding out the bouquet of fresh flowers. You accepted them from him and brought them up to your nose, taking in a whiff of the sweet scent. 

“My favorite.” You whispered, fingers lightly tracing the petals. 

He nodded. “Yeah, um, I saw them and I thought you might like them. Especially with everything, you know,” he gestured vaguely, “thought you’d like some flowers.”

Your heart warmed at the thought that he saw your favorite flowers while he was out and thought of you. “Thank you, really. But you didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.” He admitted. 

You looked around, unable to meet his eyes. You focused on the floor, “Well thanks Parker, that was really sweet of you.”

He sighed, “Y/N please, I don’t want to-,”

But he got cut off by someone shouting your name. “Y/N!” Brad approaches you two. He looked Peter up and down before turning to you, “Hey, so the whole cast and stuff is going out for ice cream in our costumes, thought it’d be fun. Wanna join?”

Your face lit up, “Of course!” 

He grinned right back at you. “Great. Come on, they’re leaving now.

You turned towards Peter, whose expression looked harder than before. “Listen, thank you so much for your help today, it means a lot. And thank you for the flowers.”

He nodded but his attention was on Brad. He finally turned toward you, his expression notably softening, “Like I said before, anything for you Y/N/N.”

You stayed there for a bit, caught in his eyes, unable to look away. It isn’t until Brad places a hand on your shoulder that you realize you’ve been staring.

“Ready to go?” He asked. You nodded and turned to leave. As you were walking out the door, you turned to look over your shoulder. You weren’t even sure why, but as you did, you caught Peter already staring. You sent him a little wave and he returned it before turning and walking away himself, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

You walked to the ice cream shop with the others, still holding your flowers. And after everything that happened today, all you could think about was Peter. 

You had a blast. The ice cream shop was packed with a bunch of high school kids in old-timesy clothing, laughing and joking with each other. 

Brad had paid for your ice cream, despite your multiple refusals, claiming that they all owed you for stepping in and saving their asses.

“Consider it a thank you for that great kiss earlier.” He winked before walking off. 

That had gotten you to shut up. 

You all sat at tables surrounding each other, even pushing some together. You ate your ice cream in peace, joining the conversation every now and then to make a joke. 

Someone had gotten Lexi on the phone and you all said hello. She congratulated you and you thanked her, letting her know you thought it should’ve been her on that stage instead. She made some joke about ‘if you wanted the whole front row to be covered in vomit, then I totally should’ve been there, you’re right.’ And you all laughed.  

You had noticed Jack and Lacy moved to their own spot across the store. They were laughing together with Jack’s arm around her cocooning them from the world. It seemed they had finally gotten together and you couldn’t be more happy for them.

For some reason, the only thing on your mind was Spider-Man. It was silly but all you could think about was finding a way to make things right with him. It sucked that you had no way to reach him, but you’d decided to wait on the roof tonight, hoping he’d see you while swinging and stop by. Even if he left right after you apologized, you wouldn’t mind. You just wanted to see him. 

You realized how late it was getting, and that it was usually now when you met up with him. So you'd asked Martha, (her mom helped with costumes, but she worked on the props) for a ride back since she had a car and lived in an apartment building near yours. 

She quickly agreed, claiming she was ready to go too, but she had to walk back to the school to grab her car. 

So you’d waited, but you couldn’t fight off your anxiety. Your leg kept bouncing up and down. You stayed like that for a while before Brad put a hand on your knee, stopping the action.

“You alright,” he asked, some sort of half-smile on his face. You looked at him then and thought, I can see why people like you Brad. He was kind, he was funny, he was fairly handsome, pretty popular too. And yet all you could think about was heading back home and waiting for someone you didn’t even really know. 

You nodded, “Yeah, I’m just waiting for Martha to pull up.”

“I could walk you home if you wanted.” He offered. 

You smiled but shook your head, “No, but thank you, I’m kind of in a rush.”

“Everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine.” You assured him. “Just…tired.”

“Yeah,” he nodded at you. “I get that. But hey.”

You looked up at him expectantly. 

“Before you go there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

Your eyes shot open. “Oh?” You said, and it felt oddly reminiscent of that moment the two of you shared in the hall. 

“Yeah. Would you wanna go out with me sometime?”

“Like a date?” You blurted out. Like an idiot, you thought. You knew it was coming and yet you’re acting like he just told you he was Taylor Swift. 

He smiled at you and nodded, “Yeah, like a date.”

Oh Martha, where are you?

You were silent for a few seconds before you cleared your throat. There was no crawling away this time, no Peter running to interrupt. You had to face this. 

“I really like you Brad but…I can’t out with you.”

His expression fell a little, but he didn’t look surprised. “It’s Parker, isn’t it?”

You were taken aback. “Huh?”

He nodded his head towards and flowers lying in your lap, “Parker. I saw you two today. When he was helping before the show, that was all for you. He sat front row before he even knew you were going to be on that stage.”

You blew out a breath and ran a hand through your hair, which you’d taken out of its updo. “I don’t know.” You told him honestly. “I don’t know and that’s the problem. Things are still really weird between me and him, and going out with you? That wouldn’t be fair to me or you.” And the other person you couldn’t wait to see.

He nodded again, understanding coating his features. “I get that, but hey,” he smiled at you, “we’re still friends right?”

You grinned wide, relief flowing through you. The last thing you’d wanted to do was hurt his feelings and you were so glad he was taking this so well. 

“Of course we are,” you replied honestly. Right then, your phone started ringing and you stood up to answer. Martha was outside waiting for you.

You walked back to your table, saying your goodbyes to everyone. You were pulled into hugs and thanked a few more times. You really wanted to take your time but you couldn’t stop the part of you that wanted to rush home and sprint onto the rooftop. 

As soon as you were out the door you were sprinting to the car. You spent the whole ride anxiously fiddling with the bouquet of flowers from Peter. 

You barely thanked her as you stepped out the door, closing it and waving goodbye as she pulled away. 

You rushed straight up the stairs, wasting no minute. You felt hopeful, for the first time in a long time. You were going to make sure he knew you were sorry, make sure the two of you remained friends. 

You stepped onto the roof, the wind blowing around you. Only then did you realize you were still in your costume. That didn’t matter though, you didn’t want to risk going down to change. And you were sure that if he did stop by tonight, he would love to hear about the crazy day you had. 

You stepped close to the ledge, setting the bouquet down by your feet and you leaned over slightly, trying to catch a glimpse of the hero you’d come to think of as a friend. 

A weird sense of familiarity washed over you, and you realized, this was exactly what you’d been doing a few hours ago. Standing on that makeshift balcony, waiting for your lover to come so you could make amends. Except, this wasn’t a fake balcony, and there was no way you and Spider-Man were lovers, barely friends at best. But still, there was something familiar there.

You waited. And waited. Just when you were starting to give up hope, you heard the small thwip you’d come to realize signaled his arrival. Soon after, you heard a pair of feet land in the middle of your rooftop. 

You turned toward him, heart racing. For a moment neither of you said anything, just stared at each other, but you quickly decided you needed to get your words out before he left again like last night.

“I am so sorry. I’ve been so worried since last night that I upset you and I can't stand it, please would you-,”

Oh….oh.

Before you could even inhale to get your next word out, he was walking towards you, ripping his mask off, gripping your face, and pulling you into a deep kiss.

You didn’t even get to see him but that was the last thought on your mind. He was kissing you. And it was perfect. Your hands flew up to his hair, and you tugged slightly, making him kiss you even harder.

His mouth moved against yours like he’d been waiting his whole life to do this, and couldn’t believe he finally got the chance. You met him just as eagerly, for each kiss, trying to memorize the feeling of his lips on yours.

Something about this, all of it, felt so, so familiar. But every time you made to pull away, his lips chased yours and you couldn’t help but give in. 

Soon enough you both pulled away to catch your breaths, eyes still shut as you leaned into each other, foreheads touching. You enjoyed the moment for a bit, and then you opened your eyes, about to make a joke about how that was an interesting way to accept an apology.

You gasped out loud, hands flying up to cover your mouth as you stumbled backward. 

“Oh my god,” you whispered. “Oh my god.”

“Y/N/N, I’m so sorry,” he says. Peter says. Because it’s Peter standing in front of you right now and he didn’t seem to be the least bit taken aback by your reaction.

You’re unsure what to say to him, your head is reeling and you can't breathe. 

“Oh my god,” you repeated, your voice barely a breath. 

“Y/N, please, please let me explain.” He stepped toward you and reached out a hand. 

You shook your head so quick, that you thought you might give yourself whiplash. “No. This,” you pointed at him, “is so sick, Peter.” Your voice broke at the end and you tried to fight back the tears that were already burning in your eyes. 

His eyes widened. “Y/N I promise you, it’s not what you think-,”

“What do you think I think Peter?” You asked him, voice full of exasperation. “Because I think, you lied to me. I think, you played me for a fool. I think, you’re sick and twisted for sitting here with me every night and playing friends with me. Asking me about my day, pretending to care. Fuck, asking me about my ex. Continuously,

“I think,” you continued, tears flowing freely now, voice shaky and weak, but still conveying your anger. “I think you got me to trust you, again. Just so you could stomp all over every bit of me, again!”

“It’s not like that Y/N, it was never like that. Please, believe me, sweetheart. Please don’t cry.” He begged, looking like it was taking every muscle in his body to hold himself back from pulling you in again. 

“Why should I believe you?” You snapped at him. It was hard for him to believe that, just a minute ago, he was holding you again. Kissing you like nothing else in the world mattered. He’d give anything to have that back.

“Because every moment we had out here was real! Every concern, every question. I was never playing pretend, I just, ugh!” He groaned out loud, dropping his head in his hands, and tugging his hair tightly before looking up at you again. “I fucked up Y/N,” his voice is watery, and because you can’t undo the time you spent together, as Peter and as Spider-Man, you can’t help the strong impulses you feel to hold him tight. But you stand your ground and wait for him to continue.

“First when I didn’t tell you about this,” he said gesturing towards his suit. “Which has its own reasons. And then again, when I bailed on you all those times, which was because of this. And again when I let you walk away from me that night at school. I should’ve fought for you, I should’ve shown up more, I should’ve shown up every time and never given you any reason to not trust me,

“But I didn’t. And you called things off… And at that moment, all I could think was you, walking down the streets of New York, crying, and distracted.” He shuddered and your heart fell. You’d never thought of it like that. “You don’t know the things I’ve seen,” he said, looking up at you, eyes red and face flushed. 

“So I thought I’d just walk you home, make sure you got there safely, and then I’d start staying away. But it was you,” his voice broke. “And you were so upset and all I could think was that it’s my fault and I hated myself. So when you invited me to hang out on the roof with you, I thought I’d show up, try to cheer you up a little,

“And you made me tea, that night,” he laughed softly. “I don’t think you even realized, but you made it the way I always drink my tea. My favorite.” Your mouth fell open a little when you realized you had, in fact, made his favorite tea that night. He’d told you during a late-night conversation before you two had started dating, and ever since, it was the only tea you drank. 

“So I had to stay,” he continued. “And then we started talking, and you were joking, and telling me things I had no idea about. And I never wanted to leave,” he admitted softly. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked him, pointing at his mask on the floor, voice raspy from the tears still clogged in your throat. “When we were still together? I’ll bet that's why you were always bailing, isn’t it?”

He looked down and nodded. “It is. Or was. I wanted to,” he looked up at you suddenly, his face so sincere, that you could feel the desperation in his next words. “God Y/N, you have no idea how many times I almost did. But I stopped myself every time because the risks of you knowing were too high.”

“Risks?” You asked confused.

He nodded, “I’ve met a lot of people. Bad people. And if the one catches wind of this, of you? If someone ever tried something, I’d never forgive myself.” He looked away shaking his head.

“So no one knows?”

He shook his head again. “Only Ned and May.”

“Ned knows?” You knew they were best friends, but really?

“It's not like that, no.” He waved his hand. “He found out by accident. He was waiting in my room one day, and I crawled in through the window ‘cause I didn’t see him.”

You huff out a breath from your nose. That was so Peter. You’d bet money that May found out in some similar situation.

“Wait,” you started, “if we went through all of that, and you still didn’t tell me, why tell me now?”

“Because I can’t stand to be away from you any longer.” His voice sounded broken, like he’d been dying to get that off his chest.

He stepped closer again, and you didn’t push him away this time, much to his surprise. He doesn’t stop until he’s standing right in front of you.

“I’ll protect you from anything or anyone that may come your way. I’d do anything for you sweetheart,” he repeated his words from earlier and you felt something grow in your chest. One of his hands came up to cup your cheek, the other, moving to your waist. Your hands rose up to lay on his chest. 

“God, you have no idea how much it was killing me to sit beside you all those nights and not be able to touch you.” He whispered, staring straight into your eyes. 

You met his gaze. You believed him, every word. You’d known Peter for years, you knew when he was lying to you, which was part of why you broke up with him. You knew he was lying to you, or holding something back from you, you just didn’t know what. But you still had a few more questions. 

“Last night. Why did you run off? Why didn’t you just tell me then?”

“Because I was a coward,” he admitted, expression sad. “I was enjoying it all too much, I wasn’t ready to ruin it yet. I still couldn’t believe I found a way to still talk to you, and you were asking to see me,” he blew out a breath.

Yeah, obviously that didn’t initially start well. 

You nodded. “And when you kept asking me about you. About my ex and how I felt about him, why?” That part still had you confused

He looked up, closing his eyes, “I won’t lie to you sweetheart, that was just me being a dumbass. That was complete selfishness and…,”

He trailed off. “And what?” You questioned him. There was some unspoken thing you two were doing right now, that you could ask anything, and he’d answered honestly. It was the least he could do. 

“And jealously,” he finished quietly, looking down at the ground.

“Jealousy?” You repeated, still confused. “But who would you be jealous of…oh.”

And it was then that you realized how you’d talked about Brad to Spider-Man (before you knew who he was of course), and how, right after, when he’d asked about Peter, you’d said something about just trying to forget the whole thing. You had to hold back a laugh when you remembered all that. Poor guy must’ve been going insane. 

He nodded. “You kept talking about that Brad guy and talking about trying to get over me. And I hated that you seemed to be getting over me so quick. Like I said, completely selfish. I'm sorry.”

“No,” you shook your head, “that makes sense actually. But seriously Peter..” You trailed off, shaking your head again.

Worry crept onto his features, “I know I messed up Y/N/N, big time, but I’m willing to do anything-,”

“You really thought I was into Brad?” You asked, wrinkling your nose up at him. 

He let out a breath of relief, before laughing a little. God, he was so happy you were joking with him. 

He leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours, “I’m sorry sweetheart.”

“You’re forgiven,” you told him, the sincerity in your tone impossible to miss, and he knew you were talking about more than the crazy jealousy. 

He looked down into your eyes, his gaze so intense you almost went to look away. “I’m the luckiest man alive,” he whispered, his voice so low, you wondered if he even meant to say it out loud.

His eyes flickered down to your lips, and you took that as your cue. You leaned in, closing the gap between you. He kissed you back instantly. It was softer than the one earlier, but way more meaningful. Every press of his lips on yours felt like repairing something. Mending whatever it was that had broken between the two of you.

You pulled away first because you knew he wouldn’t, but he didn’t let you get far. He started planting kisses all over your face.

"Have I told you," Kiss. "How beautiful," Kiss. "I think you look tonight? And every night."

You laughed, face heating up at his compliments. "Thank you, Petey."

"I love it when you call me that." He said, grinning like a lovesick idiot. He leaned in and kissed your cheek one more time before he pulled away again. 

"I didn't like it." He said, a frown on his face.

"Didn't like what babe?" You asked, tilting your head up at him while your fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

He let out a sigh, "The breakup. Being broken up. Not talking to you, as me, I mean. Not as Spider-Man. And I sure as hell didn't like seeing some other guy make out with my girl in front of everyone."

You laughed and you felt butterflies erupt in your stomach when he called you his girl. "Well don't worry," you told him, moving your hands to cup his face. "We're not doing that again, not if we can help it."

You leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips, before pulling away, which made him whine. 

 He moved his hands to your shoulder as he buried his face in your neck, breathing in your scent. 

“You drive me crazy, sweetheart.” He said, voice muffled by your skin. 

You giggled, “You drive me crazier, Peter Parker.”

‘crazier’ taglist: @coralineyouareinterribledanger @666yourmomdotcom

[hugshughes]

Liquid Courage J. McCarthy

JJ McCarthy x fem!reader

synopsis - JJ calls you in the middle of the night, inebriated and affectionate. His confessions leave your heart heavy as he sleeps off his drunken haze on your couch. It isn't until the next morning JJ realizes the extent of what he's admitted.

wc - 3.4k

contains - UNEDITED! super cute! alcohol consumption, underage alcohol consumption, JJ gets drunk, eating, hugging. ALL WHILE SOBER: kissing, touching, makin out kinda. reader is insecure about herself (even though she's so cute and pretty), drunk confession, reader gets sad, cursing, i think that's it! oh takes place like october of last year! Rushed ending sorry

an - based on THIS request! LOVEEEEEEDDDDD THIS REQUEST SO MUCH! this was so cute loved it!! #imnotdead :D

-

You hummed to yourself as you pranced around your kitchen, the banana bread you just put in the oven leaving the aroma of your apartment warm. Your hair was in a braid down your back, your adorable pink striped Victoria's Secret pajamas soft against your skin. Music played from your Alexa, your nighttime playlist floating through the air, one of Olivia Rodrigo's new songs gracing your ears.

The thick socks covering your feet kept them from the cold of the linoleum in your bathroom. You took out your contacts, throwing them out before slipping on your glasses. You grabbed your phone off the counter after exiting the bathroom, seeing a couple Snapchat notifications, some from TikTok, and a few messages from your best friend. All three of her texts had said something along the lines of how you should've come out tonight. The third one said how JJ McCarthy was asking where you were. You sighed, turning your phone back off and checking on your banana bread.

JJ had been your friend since freshman year. He was very sweet and so kind. He was so mature and was one of the most polite people you knew. You'd always thought he was extremely cute, I mean, who didn't think that? He had the cutest smile, and the softest dirty blonde hair. His blue eyes were gorgeous. He'd started his little flirting game with you about halfway through sophomore year. He'd compliment you endlessly whenever you saw him, he'd randomly ask you out in the middle of a conversation. That same smile on his face, bright as ever. You, of course, took it all as a joke, a cruel one at that. You assumed JJ was just a flirty guy with a flirty personality, you'd experienced it before. There was zero chance someone like JJ McCarthy would like you.

"Come on. You guys really think he's being serious when he says that stuff?"

"Yes! We do, because he likes you, and it's so obvious. He doesn't talk to us like that, does he?"

You rolled your eyes. Starting to get pissed with them. Your brain could not compute the idea of JJ really liking you.

"Why in the world would JJ McCarthy, probably the most eligable bachelor on the campus of Michigan, like me? I'm not one of the prettiest girls at Mich, let alone am I the prettiest girl that likes him!"

Sometimes you would wonder that if you thought you were pretty, then maybe you'd believe them. You had bad underlying insecurities that stopped you from believing that any guy would like you, let alone someone like JJ.

You leaned your forehead against your silver fridge, the cool of the metal relaxing you. You could hear its low whirring and humming with your proximity to it. The sound occupying your brain as a white noise, leading you to close your eyes. You might've actually fallen asleep if the timer for your bread didn't go off, you scrambling to shout at your Alexa to, 'Please, stop!' You grabbed oven mitts and grabbed the tray after sticking a toothpick into it to check the middle. You set the pan down on your cooling rack, sliding your gloves off. You grabbed your phone and paused your music, going to sit on the couch while your bread cooled.

You stalked your friends Snapchat stories, they were all having fun at the big party everyone seemed to be attending. You halted when you saw your best friend's private story, you knew it only had a handful of people so she posted silly and random things on it.

What she'd posted was a zoomed in photo of what resembled JJ McCarthy with his head thrown back against the couch of whatever frat house they were in. His face looked miserable, and the caption on the photo was saying how that's how she too reacted when you didn't come to parties. You immediately slid up, typing in all caps telling her to shut up. You said how he was not upset over you, and how she was stupid and drunk. It was all lighthearted, you both knew it.

She immediately typed back to you, claiming he'd drunkenly asked her at least four times where you were and why you didn't want to come see him. You giggled to yourself, believing it for just a few moments. You typed to her for a few more minutes before your phone started vibrating in your hand, JJ's contact coming onto your screen. You were met with the photo you'd had him saved with, him smiling that bright beautiful smile across the table from you at Panera sometime during last school year. What was JJ calling you for? You slid to answer, holding your phone to your ear. It was oddly quiet on his end, though he was actively attending a party. He called your name, and you called his.

"JJ? What's up? Are you alright?"

"Hi! Oh my gosh, hi. I can't believe you aren't here right now, I was only excited to see you."

You smiled sadly, he was endearing, and so totally plastered.

"Aw, JJ, I'm sorry. Where are you? It's pretty quiet for a party."

"Oh, yeah. I'm just in the bathroom, standin' around. I got bored. Ya' know, I miss you."

He was so drunk, his words were melting together, but his happiness stayed solid throughout.

"Jay, are you alright? Do you need someone to help you leave? Is Blake there? Colston?"

"You should, we can hang out! But yeah, he's 'round here somewhere. Lemme go get 'im."

You said okay, letting the boy look for his friend. The noise on his end got louder as he left the bathroom. You giggled when you heard him shout hey at random people around the house. You heard JJ call your name into his phone, then again.

"JJ, I'm still here. Any luck finding Colston?"

"Why don't you jus' go marry Colston if he's all 'yer gonna talk about"

You barely heard it, he muttered it with the phone a few inches from his mouth. You were shocked at the words JJ said. What?

"What, JJ?"

"Wish y'were talkin' about me."

You smiled, still a bit confused. His drunk mind was extremely silly.

"I'm talking to you, aren't I? The only boy's call I'd pick up this late."

JJ was ecstatic, smiling brightly as he continued through the party, looking for his teammates.

"I see him! Colston! Come here buddy, she wants to talk to you."

You heard a confused colston mutter 'Who's she?' before he took the phone from JJ, seeing your contact before talking to you.

"Oh hey, what's up?"

"JJ is like, absolutely plastered if you couldn't tell. Are you all good? I asked him and he told me he wanted me to pick him up. If I come get him can you bring him to my car? I'm already in my pajamas."

"Yeah, think Jay'll definitely love that. Kid hasn't stopped asking about you since we got here. I'll have him outside whenever 'ya get here."

You responded with an affirmative, thanking Colston. He handed the phone back to JJ, who was very happy to hear your voice again.

"Hey! What's up? Colston said you're coming to get me."

"Yeah, I'll see you in a couple minutes, okay Jay?"

"Awesome."

He hung up and you giggled. How did you go from an innocent call with the boy to asking him if he needed to be picked up? You shook your head at yourself, standing and grabbing your keychain.

You left your apartment and drove to the house you knew the party was at. Your friends had told you which house it was in case you changed your mind and came. It was less than ten minutes before you were in front of the bustling house, seeing two boys standing on the sidewalk.

You rolled down the window as they walked over, shouting hey to them. JJ was visibly drunk, stumbling just a little as he leaned into your car, a big smile on his face.

"Hi, pretty."

"Hi, JJ."

Colston helped his teammate into the car, making sure you were good to take care of the boy.

"Yeah, we'll be fine, Colst. I'll let 'im have my couch for tonight. I'll text you if I need anything!"

He nodded, lightly slapping the side of your car twice before retreating to the house. You turned your music back on, leaving it at a low volume as you turned around to drive home. You glanced at JJ and noticed the biggest pout on his face.

"JJ McCarthy. I know I didn't just drive over here to get you just for you to be pouting when you get in my car."

"Just text Colston about it, why don't you?"

You busted out giggling. Drunk JJ was such a treat. His jealousy over your friendship with his teammate was incredibly hilarious.

"I might if you don't start bein' nice t'me."

"Sorry 'm being mean."

He barely murmured it, though it was all you needed. You smiled brightly at him, laughing to yourself. JJ never got drunk, he usually opted for just a drink or two, or being the designated driver.

You got home quickly, making small talk with the now sleepy boy. You parked in your spot, hopping out of the car and walking around the hood to help JJ out. He'd stayed at yours after a party once or twice before, but it had always been with a couple other people. Tonight it was just you two.

You walked in, stepping into the elevator right behind JJ. The two of you stepped out of the elevator as the machine dinged and the doors slid open. JJ grabbed your hand as you walked down the hall to your door. You glanced at him, softly smiling. His eyes were barely open, but he still had a smile on his face. You didn't take the action as anything serious, JJ was a physical touch kind of person. He was always hugging people, patting shoulders, bumping fists. He was extra physical with you though, not that you noticed. You were the only girl he ever really acted like that with, again, not to your acknowledgment.

You wouldn't let yourself believe he liked you. Convinced it would hurt too much when eventually he got a prettier, skinnier, bubblier, more likable girlfriend and left you in the dust. JJ had eyes solely for you, though. He only ever looked at you. He asked anyone and everyone if they knew where you were or if you were coming to the party for God's sake.

You closed the door behind JJ and locked it, telling him to make himself at home. He took his shoes off, trying to neatly organize them in your shoe cubby. He wandered over to the couch as you kicked your shoes off and entered your kitchen. You grabbed a cold water bottle, two Ibuprofen tablets and two Tylenol tablets, the perfect hangover cure. You noticed your still warm banana bread sitting on the counter, perking up.

"Jay, do you want some banana bread?"

You heard his footsteps then saw him come around the corner, his eyebrows raised.

"Hell yes."

You giggled, gesturing for him to come stand by you. You flipped the pan over onto the cooling rack, opening the drawer directly in front of you, pulling out a bread knife. You felt a head slip into the crook of your neck, warm breath on your neck. Heat rushed your face, JJ's contagious smile spreading to you.

"Hi, crazy."

You pointed to the water and pills on the counter as you swerved out of his reach, going to grab a cutting board and a plate.

"Take those and your head won't hurt in the morning. Well, I don't know how much you drank, but that'll definitely make it better."

He nodded, immediately following your directions. He gulped down half of the water bottle while you came back over, laying the loaf of bread on the cutting board. You cut a couple pieces off, setting one onto the plate before sliding it over to JJ. He smiled at you, beginning to devour his snack. Hopefully it would absorb some of the alcohol in his stomach.

"You're amazing, you know."

He said it in a way that made it seem like he meant it on a deeper level than you'd usually assume. He said it like he truly did believe that, and it wasn't just because you fed him warm banana bread. You shook your head, brushing it off as you tore of pieces from your slice.

"No, don't shake your head a'me. You are. You act like you're not but y'are."

He was too good at making you feel special. You were just too scared to believe any of it.

"I just like to take care of people I like."

You smiled innocently at him, shrugging your shoulders as you moved to grab a proper storage container for your bread.

"And I just like when the girl I like believes me when I tell her she's amazing."

You froze in your spot. Sure, JJ had flirted with you for about a year. But, he'd never downright told you he liked you. He's drunk out of his mind. You sighed when you turned around, trying to smile at the boy as you stared into his sleepy eyes.

"You're so sleepy, JJ, and drunk."

He nodded a little, his eyes never leaving yours, that smile never leaving his face. He didn't really notice that you'd downplayed his feelings, he'd noticed even less that he'd straight up told you you were the girl he liked. All he could really notice was how beautiful you looked in the dim light of your kitchen, in your cute pajamas and glasses, hair in a messy braid.

You set JJ up on your couch, getting him another water and some thick and soft blankets and a pillow. You ran your hand through his messy hair as he laid in the couch beneath you. His eyes were begging to close, but he still smiled at you. You quietly told him to go to sleep, turning to leave. You'd only made it to the light switch before he called your name.

"I really do like you, 'm not just drunk. Just get too nervous to tell you, 'm sorry."

Your heart was heavy. You wanted to believe him, but how could you? JJ had never shown what you deemed as genuine interest in you when he wasn't inebriated. All he did was toss flirty comments around, throwing his arm over your shoulder every once in a while.

You couldn't lie and say you didn't notice the different look in JJ's eyes as he peered over the back of your couch. The truth in them.

"If you even remember this in the morning, we can talk about it. Alright?"

"That's perfect."

He smiled at you one last time before sinking below the back of your couch, out of sight.

"Goodnight Jay."

"Night night, pretty."

His words made your heart squeeze. You knew that the affection you felt for JJ wouldn't change, no matter if they were just drunk fibs.

You switched the living room lights off, heading into the kitchen. You set out another water and more pills for whenever JJ woke up in the morning. You checked the locked once more before turning all of the lights off. All you heard as you headed back to your bedroom was JJ's heavy breathing, it calmed your racing heart. You left your door cracked open incase JJ woke up needing something.

Your glasses slid up your head as your rubbed your eyes, sighing. You kept reminding your heart that JJ didn't really know what he was saying, that he would regret it.

The bed you slept countless nights in was uncomfortable as ever tonight, you tossed and turned for most of an over before climbing out of bed. You threw your cute pajamas onto the hardwood floor and traded them for a Lululemon bra and some shorts.

You fell asleep after another forty minutes of shifting every minute or so. Your sleep was light and poor. You woke up a little after four am, just three hours after finally falling asleep. Sleep finally took you again for a couple more hours, just until a little after nine.

After lying and staring at your ceiling for half an hour, you slowly sat up in bed, getting up. You exited your room, dragging yourself to the living room. The couch was empty, the blanket JJ had used folded neatly on top of the pillow. How sweet was he? You turned and walked into the kitchen, finally spotting the dirty blonde boy you wanted to see.

He turned at the sound of your footsteps, smiling. He was holding a water bottle, his eyes tired and his hair still messy.

"Good morning, JJ."

"Hi."

You felt nerves wash over you. This was it, where he either apologizes and regrets everything he said last night, or you got everything you'd hoped for. You went over to where he was leaning against your counter, hopping up to sit on the counter by him. His head fell to your shoulder as if by reflex.

"How do you feel, Jay?"

"Good, better 'cause y'took care of me."

"I just gave you some meds, Jay."

"Still."

You smiled, leaning your head on his. Maybe it would all be okay. Maybe he would be in love with you. You took a deep breath, now or never.

"Jay, do you-"

"Yes."

You pulled your head from his, turning to give him a look.

"You don't even know what I was gonna say."

"I remember what I said."

You bit your lip, still nervous. You look to where your feet dangled in the air, suddenly scared of his gaze on you.

JJ was nervous as hell too, though. You hadn't said that you liked him back, he definitely remembered that. He was beginning to take your silence as disinterest. He just stared at you, waiting for some indication of how you felt.

"And?"

"'And?' And, I like you."

Your nerves escaped from your body in a giggle, the churning of your stomach now butterflies. JJ did not appreciate the laughter though, taking it the complete wrong way.

"You don't have to laugh at me, shit."

He reached his hands to his eyes, rubbing hard as he started off, away from you. You giggled again, realizing your mistake. You jumped from the counter, sighing JJ's name out.

"Wait, wait Jay, I'm sorry. It's not like that."

You grabbed his arm, trying to halt the taller and stronger boy wasn't easy without his compliance. You shouted his name again and he stopped, turning to you.

"I'm not laughing 'cause you like me. I'm laughing 'cause I barely slept last night worried that you wouldn't like me."

JJ finally looked at you. His eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"What's do you mean? I literally told you I liked you!"

"JJ! You were so drunk! I wasn't about to convince myself that JJ McCarthy liked me just 'cause he said so while he was plastered."

"I wasn't plastered! And, what do you mean when y'say it like that?"

You rolled your eyes, halfway annoyed. He didn't get it.

"JJ, you could probably get with any girl on the Michigan campus if you wanted to. I wasn't convinced that out of all of them you'd actually want me."

"How could I not like you?"

The truth in JJ's eyes made you feel seen. Like he actually knew you. You smiled sappily, pulling the boy down by his shoulder, kissing him deeply. One of JJ's hands gripped the back of your head, the other pulling you closer by the small of your back.

There you were, standing in your kitchen kissing the boy you could've sworn never liked you. The boy you'd been infatuated with for a year. He was finally yours.

JJ pulled away from your lips, his hands moving to cup your face. His smile was brighter than ever. You both laughed, looking into each other's eyes for just a few seconds before JJ pulled you back in.

[chvoswxtch]

I’m so excited to be joining the court eras tour! Congrats on the achievement! Can I request speak now about Frank and Matty competing for the attention of the same girl? Wether it means she ends with one of them, none, or both *wink wink*

you know, my philosophy in life is why have one when you can have both?

side note: i'm the worst person to go shopping with bc if you ask me if you should get something, i'm gonna tell you to treat yourself and if you ask me to help you decide between two things, i'm gonna tell you to get them both

with that being said, let's fuck date them both <3

electric touch (frank's version ft. matt)

firstly, frank and matt are very different when it comes to dating

matt flirts with anything that has a heartbeat. he's a charming, smooth talking fucker, and he knows exactly what he's doing. he doesn't even need to use his heightened senses to be able to tell that his dazzling grin and dimples coupled with his alluring deep voice makes a person's blood rush to their cheeks and to other places in their body

frank on the other hand is a little more shy. if you remember, maria approached him first when they met, and that actually seems to be a recurring theme for frank (karen makes the first move, sarah is the one that kisses him, beth is the one that invites him home). essentially, frank is a consent king who lets his partner come to him. not that he doesn't flirt, I think he does when he feels more comfortable, but it doesn't come second nature to him like it does to matt

secondly, I think their different personalities also shine in terms of the kind of date they take you on

matt's go to date idea that we've seen tends to be a romantic dinner somewhere. despite him being a huge slut flirt, i do think he's a hopeless romantic at heart. matt could ask you to dinner as easily as he could ask you what time it was, but I think he'd do his best to make sure to pick a spot that he knew you would like based off your preference in food, meet you at the restaurant looking devastatingly handsome, and then take you on a nice little stroll to keep the evening going

frank on the other hand seems a little more old school and traditional. despite where he's taking you, he's definitely picking you up at your door and bringing flowers. I could see him being a dinner and movie guy, but I also think frank would wanna get to really know you, and it's kinda hard to have a conversation with someone while watching a movie. so I personally think he would take you to do something fun (we know he loved to take his family to the park with the carousel), something like bowling, mini golf, an arcade (where he'd totally show off and win you a prize), an aquarium, etc. somewhere where the two of you could do something fun together and then get a bite after

NOW, we know frank and matt are super competitive with one another, but if they were trying to win over the same person? absolute chaos

let's just say for fun y'all all go on a first date at the same time (bc I personally think it would be hilarious)

you let frank pick the activity y'all do together, and he purposefully sends matt on a wild goose chase telling him to meet at the mini golf place at 7pm, but, he doesn't specify which one. so a pissed off matt finally tracks you and frank down around 7:30 (by the scent of frank's cologne that he would know anywhere) and frank fires the first shot

"'bout time you showed up, red. don't you know it ain't polite to make a lady wait?"

"well I would have been on time if you had specified where this place was. do you know how many mini golf places there are in this city?"

"my bad, thought you'd be pickin' her up at her door with flowers too. guess that was just me though."

frank has the biggest grin on his face, meanwhile matt's cheeks are burning red, both from annoyance and from sprinting to catch up

but frank's victory is short lived when matt beckons you over with a charming smirk and an innocent request for help

"sweetheart, you mind helping me hit the ball? I don't exactly know where i'm aiming."

much to frank's dismay, he has to watch you press yourself up against matt's back, holding onto his hands that were around the golf club, and giggle instructions into his ear as you help him on where to aim

"aw now that's horseshit. you don't need her goddamn help, and you know it."

"i am blind, frank."

matt wears a cocky smirk with every ball you help him hit, but the more you start cheering for frank with how many perfect shots he's hitting (if there's one thing frank is good at it's aim), matt starts showing out too, and eventually the two men forget you're even playing with them bc they're competing against each other so hard

before they break out into a brawl in the sand pit, the three of you make your way to dinner, each of them insisting on holding one of your hands (which they refuse to let go of) so everyone walking in your direction has to go completely around the three of you

matt chose an incredibly romantic italian spot, and needless to say, the host was very confused seeing the three of you together (especially with the disgruntled looks on both of their faces bc they wanted you all to themselves)

not even five minutes pass before they're back at each other's throats

it starts with matt recommending a red wine to you and pronouncing the name of it wrong, to which frank sassily corrects him, and matt scowls across the table behind his red glasses

"what, you suddenly speak italian, castle?"

"i am italian, you dipshit."

matt, completely stunned by this new information, completely misses frank's insult and just stares blankly at him in surprise with raised brows

"what? since when?"

"the hell you mean since when? since I was born. ain't you s'posed to be some kinda genius or somethin'? I really gotta explain simple shit to you-"

"castle isn't italian-"

"no, but castiglione is. it got shortened to castle when my parents moved here from sicily-"

"and how the hell would I know that-"

"well maybe if you shut the fuck up every once in awhile-"

and this is where you have to intervene and redirect the conversation bc while them fighting over you was exciting and truthfully hot at first, it seems like they've spent a better half the night fighting each other, and that simply isn't acceptable

so you warn them that if they don't start playing nice, you'll leave them on the date alone together and go get your own dessert somewhere else

needless to say they suddenly start showing model behavior and redirect their attention where it should've been all along: on you

and i'll let your imagination run wild with how well that date goes and if you invite them both up for a drink or two ;)

[dapg-otmebytheballs]

SAY THE PARASOCIAL THING SAY IT

Aksjfhk okay

This got super long but basically I was thinking about that post about Phil being more open in his boundaries and I think he actually always has been! More under the cut

I think Phil has actually always been more self-assured in his interactions with the audience and I have some idea(?) of why that is. Phil has been around forever on YouTube, he is kind of a performer in a very classical way. You can see this in like how he carries himself in his liveshows, using very basic tenets of performance that we're taught like face the audience always and fill up any lulls in the conversation. There is always a screen between the creator and the audience, of course there is. But the culture we see now of internet celebrities and their audiences having very little boundaries because of how accessible creators have become to audiences wasn't as prominent back then. You understood as a creator that your audience will make whatever they want of what you're saying and you can't account for any bad faith readers. Phil always came across to me as someone who knew how much he wanted to put out there and was self assured in it. He doesn't feel the need to clarify stuff, and likewise engages with fandom in a similar good faith. What goes on in his life and what informs his thoughts, beyond what he shares, is none of our business, that was an understood thing and he's left it at that. And what fandom talks about, how we interpret stuff, how we do our parasocial shit is also not meant to be more than a performance, it isn't supposed to Say Something Serious about the creators, which is also understood. And though of course audience interactions started getting wildly out of hand some years after Phil started posting, he still is a product of a time where that wasn't how things are meant to be and he maintains that distance with ease. Thinking about stuff like draw Phil naked where he engaged with it in good humour, or how he didn't mind having sponsorships and clickbait titles because there's an implicit understanding that this is All A Performance so he doesn't have to try and "act authentic". There's a confidence he has in his role as an entertainer, and that informs how he interacts with us. (also I had expressed this all much better earlier but Tumblr ate it up so now I have to type it again sorry if this reads weird ;-;)

On the other hand, Dan seems to worry about all that stuff a Lot More. (And I was apprehensive about saying this so I thank anon here for allowing me to say my parasocial shit XD) And the thing is, the reason I notice that is Because I am literally like Dan about that stuff when interacting with an audience (I did some videos as well yeah, but also when I've organised events that I had to host, or presented poetry somewhere, etc etc) where I constantly feel the need to qualify everything I say and do very worried I'll come off as being maliciously bad, or even perceived as being a certain way or having a certain tone when I don't. I find it in rather positive ways with Dan too (like correcting language in old videos or pulling them off when there's something in there that aged badly or could be seen in bad taste). But other times I see reflected in him my own tendency to overcompensate (self referencing how he is making Easy-Content a la 'some shit a youtuber would do', making sure he doesn't come across as having the wrong political opinions by stressing on his principles when something like that comes up 'don't settle for neoliberalism' ((also he is totally correct and I actually do love those clarifications just fyi)) )

You can see this play out so well that time when Phil accidentally says 'cockies' instead of 'cookies' and Dan makes a 'cut that out' motion and Phil just laughs about it and corrects himself and Dan goes "Are you keeping that in??"

There's probably a lot of factors to why they have those particular styles of interacting, and really there's merit to both. Phil knows where the boundaries are and ever since him just speaking random shit hasn't had the extra issue of possibly outing Dan before he's ready, Phil has just gotten even more open with how he speaks, but I truly think he doesn't care as much what we think about him. It's like, what's going on in his life is none of our business and what we're making out of our parasocial relationship with him is none of his business, which is a great way of approaching being a creator and unfortunately something that is becoming less and less of an option as the culture shifts completely with generations that have been within this internet creator culture since they were born.

Dan having entered the scene later on when this kind of culture had started (plus of course his own issues that did Not help the situation) means that it made sense for him to approach us with that bit of hesitancy and that he continues to do so. I know I have that hesitancy about how I word things because I've also seen people be taken out of context and treated in really bad faith and that is a completely understandable thing to take into consideration.

But yeah Phil being the "quiet one" has never really meant that he is less certain/more shy to me, personally, I think he is an incredibly professional entertainer is the thing and I love love love that about him because he's of a dying species in the current climate.

[nine-lives715]

Above the Clouds - Izuku Midoriya x GN reader

Author’s Note: So this is my first time actually writing a story and sharing it, so.. enjoy? Also, I originally thought of this in a femme perspective, because it was originally more for *me*, but it was so cute, I decided to share it. If people end up liking it, I would love to share the next part! But for now, I hope you enjoy the story! Feedback is welcomed :)

TW: Ex Husband (Reader is a widow/widower), Mentions of d3ath and grieving, Izuku is a sweetheart. :)

Following the loss of your husband, your friends had planted the idea of you dating again for quite some time now. As much as you love them, you can’t bring yourself to forget him. He was someone you trusted. You saw the rest of your future with him, and it was hard to forget all the memories you made with him.

Eventually though, a will must have its way. So here you are, a year later, nervously sitting at a dinner table as you wait for your date.

“Hey! Sorry I’m late,” He says. Walking up to you is the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. He seems gentle, and kind. He was tall, with dark green, curly hair topping his head. He wore a dark black jacket, a white t-shirt, and black jeans. He seemed decently put together. “I-It’s alright.” You responded. Why are you so nervous all of a sudden…? You can’t like him… what about your husband?

“It’s nice to meet you! I’m Izuku.” He outstretches his hand for you to shake. He seems slightly nervous as well.

“I’m _____.” You say, taking his hand to shake it. There’s that guilt… deep in your soul. The guilt of replacing your late husband stirs in you. You do your best not to think about it- if you did, you’d likely start crying. And you really didn’t want to scare this guy off on the first date…

He sits down in front of you and settles in. You two engage in light conversation over decent plates of food. He seems like a nice guy. He was nerdy, while also super polite and sweet. The two of you had a lot in common, and there’s definitely chemistry. But, it isn’t until your date is just about over where you’re reminded of him. Izuku starts to pay for the dinner (he insisted, of course). You check your phone for the time as Izuku had asked, and… you know those memory reels that come up on your phone in your photo gallery? That’s what it was.

You stare at your phone in silence. And before you know it, you’re setting your phone down with tears welling up in yours eyes. You almost made it..

Izuku is worried, to say the least. He’s hesitant to speak, wondering if he’ll just make things worse— but he speaks anyway.

“Hey… are you alright?” He asks, gently. You felt as though the words were dying in your throat is you looked at him with tears in your eyes.

“I-I apologize. It’s just…”

Izuku watches you, patiently. “Hey… it’s okay. Take it slow. There’s no rush.”

What? Is he serious? Most guys would have been weirded out by now…right? I guess now I might as well tell him.

“My friends put me up to this. I really.. I don’t know if I’m ready? You see, my husband died about two years ago and…” You trail off, unable to finish your sentence as you try to swallow your tears.

The concern on Izuku’s face is evident, but he showed nothing but warmth as he gently took your hand. “Hey. I understand. Look, I know a better place we can talk about this if you’d like? I would love to help.”

You look up as him in a daze. “Really?”

“Of course.” He smiles, before leaving the check for your dinner down on the table. “Thank you!” He waves to the staff before leaving, gently grabbing your hand and leading you out of the restaurant. He takes you to the back of a park, where a bench sits between two trees. There’s a clear view of the sky, and you can’t help but wonder if he sees what you’re doing.

“…Why here?” You ask, curiosity getting the better of you.

“It’s a nice place to think. I come here myself sometimes. I figured it would make a comfortable atmosphere.” He smiles, before turning to look at you, and— you don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone look at you with kinder eyes than his. “You don’t have to talk about it, but I understand where you’re coming from. I wasn’t entirely ready, myself.”

You stay silent for a moment, half wondering if he’ll continue. He does. “I.. I went through a bad breakup not too long ago. I thought… I kind of thought I would end up with her. I haven’t been entirely motivated to start dating again. But I’m glad I wasn’t alone.”

“I’m sorry,” You say. Breakups are hard.

“It’s not your fault. It’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through. It must be really difficult.”

You’re unsure of how to respond. It was difficult. You choose your words for a moment, deciding to just be honest.

“It doesn’t feel right to move on… it feels like I’m replacing him.” Tears run down the apples of your cheeks. None of this felt right, but still…

“I understand, but you shouldn’t feel that way.” Izuku looks at you, and smiles gently. “He must have loved you a lot. And if that’s the case, then… He would have wanted you to move on. No one wants to end up alone… there’s no harm in finding someone new to spend your time with.”

You watch his eyes. You’re utterly speechless. What do you say? Is it really okay?

Izuku continues, “Nobody will ever replace the memories you made with him. Thats special to you. Finding someone else is you making new memories. There’s no replacing anyone, there.”

You continue to cry, unsure of how to respond. This was really the reassurance you needed- and you were getting it from a stranger!

He gently takes your hand in his own. “If you’re not ready to see anyone yet, I completely understand. But I want to help, so if it’s alright with you, I’d like to stick around. I will wait. And if you’re never ready, I’ll just continue to be your shoulder to cry on, okay?”

You’re in shock. “You mean it..?” Something in your gut told you to stay with him. Deep in your soul, you wanted some kind of bond with him— but you weren’t quite sure what, yet.

“Yeah, I mean it,” He smiles, squeezing your hand. “Anytime.”

You can’t think before you move to wrap your arms around him. You didn’t want to let go.

“Thank you, Izuku.”

“Of course.”

And that’s where it all started.

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to see or be tagged in the next part let me know!!

Have a great day :) ☆

[danikamariewrites]

Hi! I never want to be a bother, but I love the way you write, and I would absolutely love if you wrote a Lucien x reader where the reader has scars (SH or otherwise) and is really insecure and struggles to do anything sexual because of it and I would love it to end in smut (maybe their first time)?? I live for the smut and fluff so both would be perfect. If it's a little too sensitive, that's okay, but I really think you would write this wonderfully! All the love.

Perfect to Me

Lucien x reader

A/n: (this is going to be a long note apologies) Hi! You are not a bother at all, I actually really like this concept and have been wanting to write about something like this for a while and I think Lucien is a good character to do it with. Thank you so much, I’m so happy you like my writing it makes my day every time I read that❤️

Warnings: trauma, injuries, violence, angst, and scars

You sit on your bed holding a pillow to your chest, your knees pulled up tight. You were waiting for Lucien to come over so you could finish your conversation from last night. You were nervous to tell him about your scars, but he had been so open about his.

You had kept what had happened with your sister in the past. Lucien was so supportive of your boundaries concerning your family. But you felt that you needed to do this to take the next step in your relationship with him.

A knock on your apartment door startles you. Jumping out of bed your feet move quickly to open it. Lucien stands in the hallway, wearing a small smile and holding a bouquet of violets. “Hi love.” he walks in and kisses you on the forehead. He hands you the bouquet.

“Thank you, Lu. They're lovely.” You pad over to the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers, placing them in the center of the table. Lucien was standing in the doorway waiting patiently for you.

You walk up to him, picking at your fingers from nerves. “Where do you want to talk? I'm comfortable wherever you're comfortable.” You bite your lip as your eyes dart around the apartment. “Uumm…can we go to my room?” Lucien nods and lets you lead the way.

He was open about how his father abused him and the competition that was forced between him and his brothers. You knew he wouldn't judge you. He wouldn't look down on you or think differently of you. You just had to remember to breathe.

You sit in your previous spot on the bed. Taking the small, soft decorative pillow back in your arms. Lucien takes his boots off and sits cross-legged in front of you. You tug at your dress to make sure your legs are covered. “You don't have to say anything right away. Take your time, I'll stay as long as it takes y/n.”

“Thank you.” You take in a shaky breath and look down. “I know we haven't been super intimate, and I want to take that next step with you. But you've been so open about your past, so I need to be open about mine.” You could tell Lucien was tense.

His mind was racing. He didn't know what to expect next. All he knew was if the next words out of your mouth were that someone hurt you, he was going to hunt them down and make them suffer. He couldn't imagine anyone laying a hand on you for any reason. You were always kind and polite, never complained, and you always included others.

You do your best to keep eye contact with Lucien as you begin trembling. “My family didn't treat me well either. Mostly my older sister, but my parents didn't bother to stop her. My sister was threatened by me. She was very focused on beauty and finding someone in high society to marry.

“She saw me as competition and thought she would get ahead if I was less pretty. Her sadistic idea was to leave anything visible alone like my face or hands. But she would never miss an opportunity to put me down. For years I've worked on building my self-confidence and I've done a really good job.” You feel tears pricking your eyes.

You swallowed them back. “One day she snapped and went absolutely mental on me. She cornered me in my room, screaming that she saw me talking to some boy she had her eye on. She had stolen our father's dagger.” At this point, Lucien was fuming. Angry tears were falling from his eyes while you were trying to keep yours in. Your eyes glassed over from the water building on your lash line.

“She pushed me and nearly ripped my nightgown off. I was pinned and couldn't move. As she kept screaming at me she cut up my legs. When she was done she just looked down at me and said, ‘They might find you beautiful at first, but no one wants damaged goods. Anyone takes one look at your legs and they'll be repulsed.’ My maid found me a few minutes later and called the healers. They fixed me, no problem, but she went deep enough to scar.”

Lucien reached out to hold your face in his tan, calloused hands. Looking at you with understanding and love in his eyes. “I want to be with you, like that Lucien, I just had to tell you before we did anything.” He leaned his forehead against yours and you closed your eyes. You felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders by telling him.

“You are so brave y/n. For surviving and for trusting me enough to tell me. You deserve all the love I give you and more.” You give him a soft smile. Pulling back from his embrace you wipe at your eyes. Lucien moves back a smidge to give you space.

“Can I show you?” You ask cautiously. You've seen his scars and even though he was supportive of you, your sister's voice still lingered in the back of your mind calling you ugly and damaged and unwanted. Lucien stares at you with doe eyes. “Of course love. And your scars don't change how I feel about you. You will always be perfect to me.”

You give him a tight nod and sit so you can pull your skirt up. As you slowly reveal your scarred legs to Lucien you look anywhere but his face. You don't know if you could stomach his reaction, no matter how he felt.

You stop at your hips and stare at your legs. “Can I touch you?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. You nod, swallowing hard. You squeeze your eyes shut and hold your breath.

Lucien places a hand on each thigh, gently caressing the rough skin. “These don't scare me y/n. These prove how brave you are and that you didn't let your past define you. I don't know how anyone wouldn't want you after knowing you. Any male that is ‘disgusted’ by them isn't a real male.” You blink your eyes open slowly, letting air down your throat again.

Grabbing Lucien’s chin you connect your lips with his. The kiss was soft and passionate. Lucien let you lead, he made sure you knew you were in control, letting you set the pace. You pulled back, your eyes fluttered open scanning his face.

Your heavy breaths mixed as you both leaned forward again. “Let me show you how much I love you y/n. Let me show you how you should be worshipped. Let me show you these are nothing to be ashamed of.” Lucien said against your lips. You nod, “Please Lu.”

Your eyes were full of lust as Lucien laid you down with all the care in the world. “Can I take this off?” “Yes.” He lightly lifts your back off the bed, unzipping and slipping your dress off over your head. He places you back down and slips his own shirt off.

Lucien runs his hands down your sides to your thighs. “So beautiful.” he breathes out. Your cheeks heat at the praise. It felt nice to be exposed like this to him, to finally be your true self with him. You reach out a hand and stroke his scar-flecked, sculpted chest, “Beautiful,” you breathe back.

He smiles at you, taking your hand and bringing it to his lips to kiss your knuckles. Lucien moves to hover over your legs. He places soft kisses from your right knee up to your thigh, then moves to show the same love to your left leg.

You reveled in the gentle touches he gave you, at how good his lips felt on you. The left a comfortable heat in their wake. Making you feel relaxed.

You stop him before he can go any further. You gently tug at his long red locks. He looks up at you, worried he's done something wrong. “I love you, Lucien.” He places a kiss on your tummy, staring at you through his lashes. “I love you too, y/n.”

tags: @nyotamalfoy @auggiesolovey @bubybubsters @baybay123455 @msiecrane

[monsterfuckerconfessions]

For several years now I’ve been wanting to buy a knotted dildo (why do they never have smaller ones) but my dad often helps me with finances because I’m really bad at math and I would be super embarrassed if he found out. I doubt he would be mad at finding out I’m a monsterfucker, but it WOULD be super awkward, especially since a lot of knotted ones are labeled “dog” I don’t want my family to have an even worse impression before I can explain! Maybe it would be easier if I could drive and try to find in-person shops and pay in cash, but I have a health problem that makes me driving illegal sometimes, so that’s not a practical option. I know you aren’t supposed to use things that weren’t designed to go inside of your body, but I’ve been using an old detachable razor handle for years because of this. I don’t know what to do! I don’t think my dad pays much attention to what I buy but if something is flagged as unusual by the bank, they will sometimes call him about it. I’m not sure what I should do. I haven’t even bought a regular sex toy because I’m self conscious about this, let alone one like that!

I’m the “my dad helps me balance my checkbook and I’m terrible at math but I want a dildo” anon, and you don’t have to post this part if it’s too uncomfortable. That’s why i didn’t include it in my first ask. But the only time I had a friend offer to help me buy one that friend later died before it could happen so… I don’t really have anyone around to ask for assistance in… this. I know these aren’t your usual confessions, but i don’t really know where else to confess to this. The only other friend I think might possibly have helped me, moved a state away and i don’t want to bother her about it. I joke about being a freak sometimes but I really doubt my older family who might have heard me say that actually expects me to consider “freaky” something beyond oral. I’m not… I’m shy and wasn’t raised by people who were into much extreme stuff (my parents didn’t even swear around us until we were all over 16, and even now they don’t do it much! There are slurs I didn’t even know existed until senior high and my parents never used them! For obvious reasons. Which is good, but gives an idea of what I mean when I say not extreme. Even my grandparents are/were like this) so I’ve been told that it’s surprising when i tell a friend about these things for the first time. Coming out as demisexual wasn’t nearly as stressful to be honest, that might be weird but admitting my (admittedly not super exciting among this community) kinks feels shameful and humiliating for some reason. Telling a close friend is different I guess. My parents aren’t conservative people, not politically or in many other ways, but they definitely don’t know much about kinks. I can say that with confidence, I’ve read the romance novels my mom had lying around and I’ve seen them react genuinely shocked when something a little crazy happens in a show we’re watching. I just think I might have super vanilla family (in the 25 years I lived with them the most spicy things I encountered were those romance novels and what might have been lube) and I’m sure they would react, if not badly, just awkwardly. It would be super uncomfortable. They are the kinds of people to hear about that, look slightly horrified, say “okay” and just avoid talking about it after that, but every time a conversation gets too close to that everyone is awkward and avoids it. It’s like when someone is trying to talk about politics and everyone has to kind of bite their tongue or a shouting match will start while we’re trying to watch the mandalorian, just less aggressive, so not exactly the same, just similarly uncomfortable. This one also got longer than I meant it to. I don’t expect that my parents would disown me or anything, but it would change some things (although because my mom and I accidentally shared a kindle account when I was in highschool I’m pretty sure she knows I’m into monster romance novels) sex isn’t really a taboo topic, but it’s also not a comfortable one

[skz-jae-lynn]

STRAY KIDS EXTRA MEMBER AU / JAE-LYNN

> SKZ_FIRST_IMPRESSIONS.PDF

─────────────────────

BANGCHAN

- when jae-lynn and chan first met, she was thirteen and he was fifteen.

- jyp introduced them to each other because he felt like chan would be a good ‘role model’ and help her with her korean

- chan’s first impression of jae :

she appeared to be (very) nervous

he thought she was shy at first, but when she would talk, he actually found her quite funny and charismatic

he knew from the jump that he wanted to always be there for her, and that he wanted to be her friend

SHE WAS SO CLUMSY - awkward but in a cute way

in a way, chan could relate to her nervousness, as he too had left home at a young age to train to become a kpop idol

he thought she seemed very driven and hardworking (and maybe a little hard on herself)

- jae’s first impression of chan :

oOGa BoOGa cUTe BOy 🤪

lol, jae actually recognized chan from the different group dance lessons she’d take up at the company, as well as from wandering the halls and seeing him in passing

she heard his name come up in many conversations, as he was one of the most talented trainees at the time

(many of the girls in her practice groups would gush over him)

at first she was intimidated by him, bc he was MUCH more popular than she was, so she felt like conversations with him must have been ‘off-limits’, bc why would he want to talk to her??

BUT when they first met, his kindness surprised her in the best way (so much so, that at points, she felt like he wasn’t being genuine to her)

in a way she viewed his presence as the light at the end of a REALLY long tunnel - a fresh breath of air

─────────────────────

LEE KNOW

- jae-lynn and lee know first met during a co-ed dance practice a few months before stray kids was formed.

- lee know’s first impression of jae :

he thought she was a confident dancer, but she didn’t take much serious (which lightly annoyed him, but he admired her excitement)

thought her not being able to speak fluent korean was a “red flag”

lee know : ‘yikes... oh well, not my problem 🙄’

he found her cool, but it wasn’t in his main priorities to talk to her

- jae’s first impression of lee know :

she was absolutely floored by his dancing (like her mouth was ajar)

found him to be a little aloof, but she didn’t mind too much, as she could also be like that sometimes

thought he was a very pretty boy and kept on watching him throughout the practice (I mean, could we blame her??)

she low-key hoped that he would mentor her in dancing in the future, because he seemed to be more well trained than she was

(wanted to introduce herself, but was too scared to)

─────────────────────

SEO CHANGBIN

- jae-lynn and changbin first met through chan introducing them at dinner one night - they were both around fifteen/sixteen years old

- changbin’s first impression of jae :

somehow he couldn't believe that the ‘super amazing’ dancer that chan would constantly speak of was the same dorky, clumsy girl that he was eating dinner with

the first time they met, she laughed at something chan had said and the soda that she was drinking shot through her nostrils onto changbin’s shirt

although the girl wasn’t SUPER ‘book smart’, he still found her to be quite bright, and to have creative and interesting thoughts

he really liked her fashion sense (emo jae)

he was pretty entertained by her height (or lack thereof) - he kept on treating her cutely, which annoyed her

he also thought that she was younger than him for the longest time (until her birthday rolled around and she made him call her ‘noona’ for the entire day)

- jae’s first impression of changbin :

to say jae was nervous to meet changbin would be an understatement

but once she got comfortable, she thought he was kind of ‘outwardly intimidating’, but on the inside she knew he was just a weirdo like she was

he was super polite to her, and even offered her his last piece of pork

slightly annoying because he kept on trying to be cute towards her

found him very well-disciplined and hard working

amidst his attempts at aegyo, jae actually found him to be pretty funny, and thought that they had similar senses of humor

─────────────────────

HWANG HYUNJIN

- jae-lynn and hyunjin met when chan brought jae-lynn to her first skz dance meeting predebut

- hyunjin’s first impression of jae :

💞 HEART EYES #1 💞

poor boy fr thought his heard stopped for a second when he first met her

he thought it was so cute how she was kind of shy at first, and immediately wanted to care for her as if she were a baby deer

almost as soon as she walked into the room, he introduced himself and made her feel comfortable

his mind went completely over the fact that she’d be a member of skz, and just went straight to, “ooo new pretty friend”

he found her to be super adorable, and very baby-like

but once she started dancing, he was shocked by her power and ability to dance so confidently

- jae's first impression of hyunjin :

she recognized him from passing him in the halls of the jyp building and when the different groups in the practice room would cross paths

found him to be very pretty (of course), and was honestly kind of confused by how one person could be so attractive

was pleasantly surprised to see that he wasn't JUST his pretty face, but was actually a super amazing dancer and performer too

thought he was immensely fun to be around

she found his kind gesture of welcoming her into the skz line-up to be very heartwarming

(she kinda assumed that he was only nice to her bc she was a girl, but that's another story for another day, I guess)

─────────────────────

HAN JISUNG

- like changbin, jae-lynn and jisung met through chan when they all went out for dinner that one night, she was fifteen/sixteen and he was fourteen.

- jisung's first impression of jae :

💞 HEART EYES #2 💞

while jae is usually the one to be intimated by people, jisung was VERY intimidated by her when they first met

he thought she was absolutely stunning and that her 'My Chemical Romance' shirt looked ravishing on her 😫😫

remembered seeing her at one of jyp's showcases, and thought her dancing and rapping were very impressive

once he got through his nerves and fought away his shyness, he and jae were constantly cracking jokes back and forth

he thought she was the most hilarious person he had ever met in his life

found her being american to be super interesting

lowkey felt like holding her hand ??

- jae's first impression of jisung :

"wow this kid is quiet" - famous last words before all hell broke loose

she thought jisung was very polite, but mostly because he was nervous

she felt like she could relate to him a lot, as her anxiety also peaked around new people

since chan had been talking nonstop about jisung (and changbin) she was excited to finally get to meet

"there is no way that this kid is a rapper"

thought his teenage appearance was super adorable, and created an interesting balance between himself and his rapper persona

once he finally began to open up, she absolutely fell in love with his sense of humor

almost instantly, she wanted to be his friend and hang out more with him

─────────────────────

LEE FELIX

- surprisingly, jae-lynn and felix did NOT meet though chan, but they accidentally met on a gaming chat room about a year before skz was a thing

- felix's first impression of jae :

he thought she was REALLY good at games, and always wanted her to be on his team whenever they played league of legends or any first-person shooter game

thought jae's commentary of whatever they were playing to be hilarious and would butt-in with his own comments

even after they finished their game, they would stay 'on-call' with one another

eventually he found out that she was ALSO a jyp trainee, and his appreciation for her grew more

loved how he could just talk to her about anything without fear of being judged

EVENTUALLY the two met irl and felix has clung to her side since then

found her to be inwardly and outwardly beautiful, and always enjoyed his time with her (both in-game and irl)

- jae's first impression of felix :

"WOW - that's a deep voice 😳👀"

she was super shocked when he told her that he was a '00 liner

wanted to baby him from the start - whenever they played games, she'd tank through so felix wouldn't even have to move a muscle

very much so simp, very much so "noona will do it" energy

thought his australian accent was cool and even mentioned that she had an irl friend who was from australia without knowing that felix already knew chan bc he was also a jyp trainee

liked how he would just call her at random times just to share weird ideas or to tell her about something funny that happened to him during his day

she always thought he was a super sweet boy with the most pure of intentions, and when they met irl her love for the boy became much greater 🥺💓

─────────────────────

KIM SEUNGMIN

- jae says that she met seungmin before they debuted during their back-to-back vocal lessons at the jyp building

- seungmin disagrees and believes that the first time they met was the day skz had their first dance practice meeting, but let's face it, neither would be able to remember even if they tried lol

- seungmin's first impression of jae :

pure confusion

why is she here???

didn't really understand why she was being added to the skz line-up to begin with, but tried to keep out of it and move on

was lowkey kinda nervous bc co-ed kpop groups usually don't sell very well

thought she dressed in very dark clothes, which he didn't necessarily like on her, but he wasn't going to say anything

he was slightly judging her the whole time, mostly because he gave her something to judge her on - not in a mean way, but in a 'do you pass the test to get my respect' type of way.

if he didn't try keeping his walls up around her, he felt like she would actually be super kind to him and be a good older sister type of figure

- jae's first impression of seungmin :

according to jae, when they met at their vocal lessons, seungmin seemed a little nervous, but was humming his practice song under his breath

he gave her a short yet respectful greeting before getting back to work

he seemed to be very well prepared, and honeslty... even back then,, his vocals were SO pretty

his readiness actually made her kind of nervous 😬

found him to appear very mature and handled for his age, and admired it. but at the same time it made her kinda sad cause he also looked super young.

jae thought seungmin was very dedicated and well practiced.

─────────────────────

YANG JEONGIN

- jae and jeongin met at one of the JYPE showcases around one year before stray kids.

- jeongin’s first impression of jae-lynn : 

found jae to be so loud, yet she had NO parts in her group performance.

since he was performing in a group with bangchan, he knew that the two trainees were close, so when he watched the performance he kept an eye on her. 

thought it was a shame that they didn’t utilize her more in the group choreo / performance. 

wondered if there was a reason why they didn’t want her to center often (”maybe she’s a terrible singer, or maybe she hiccups when she tries to dance and rap at the same time, or maybeee she sweats a lot and they don’t want the audience to see or maybe—”) 

chan introduced them after the showcase, and they shared a meal with each other.

jeongin found jae to be someone he could feel comfortable around, but still was intimidated by her, because she was an older girl. 

- jae-lynn’s first impression of jeongin : 

“I didn’t know they were making even babier babies these days!” 

SMITTEN. 100%. 

found jeongin to be an expressive performer during his group’s showcase performance. 

jae heard of him through chan, so, similar to jeongin, she kept an eye on him. 

when they were eating dinner after, jeongin seemed super calculated. as if he had to tell himself to smile at times, which kind of pulled him from the group’s conversation.

related to his self-awareness, and gave him much of her attention, creating small talk to keep him present. 

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© ignooy-nim / skz-jae-lynn 2023 - all posts tagged with the ’skz-jae-lynn’ tag on this tumblr account are my genuine work unless stated otherwise. I only post this au on this tumblr account from here on out, so if you see anything pertaining to my work elsewhere, please be kind and reach out to me to let me know. thanks 💞

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITH for cutting off my friendship of 15 years with my best friend?

I(33nb) and A(33F) were friends since elementary school, she just kidnapped me away from my friends one day at school and because we liked the same stuff i never tried to get back to my friends, so we were very tight for a while. Quite literally, she felt i was very warm and pulled me away from my friends, they kind of fought for me for days until she won, it was weird in retrospect.

When middle school came we got into different schools but kept in touch, whenever a friend of mine met her always wondered why i stood her, in their words "she is a very rude person" but i never got why they said that.

She's had many troubling boyfriends i never liked how they treated her but still, when asked for advice she always ignored me and i was always there for her to vent, cry and comfort her.

Whenever we went out and someone tried to hit on her she would pull my hand and say she was already taken, referring to me which was actually very bad for my heart but whatever so she could keep them at bay.

I cannot say it was always bad, we did have fun, shared good moments and still have many fond memories. I also was very much in love with her for a good 10 years lol, but kept it quite to just enjoy the friendship.

As years passed i started picking up on how she talked and depreciated the things i liked, be it music, comics, movies, artists. She even said how embarrassing it was to be with me in public sometimes, because 'i dont have a filter' and if i tried to tell her to not be mean she would just wave me off n say "you know me, im like this and you have to accept me" kinda talk.

Anyways the reason i finally broke was after many times she made me cry for the tiniest thing, i was trying to make her notice how her boyfriend was being a total asshole to both of us, he always changed my name to get on my nerves, and we could never hang the same day he was going to be over because he said so.

I was so tired that he controlled her so much, he broke with her multiple times and made her cry at least once a week, but they somehow always came back and i just couldn't stand this anymore so she had this big talk with him and turned out i was the problem???

He said he was super jealous of our relationship, but she promised there was nothing between us and even got us in agreement that i was going to try to be his friend too... So yeah i did try, by starting to listen to his music and watch the shows he liked.

I budged, watched 2 seasons of a popular show i never really liked, and got back to them to talk about it, share theories and such.

I was having a conversation with her over our DMs and with him through FB about the same show and somehow both insulted the same actors almost at the same time, very racist and abled stuff, about teen actors, one of them is actually disabled and she called him a cr*ppled fr*ak.

Idk why she felt i was a person she could speak about this, through years she knew i was and am against ableism, racism and just bigotry and im very vocal about it.

I stopped her and she got all offended that it was her right to talk about him like that, and i was her best friend so i should know her already, also if he was a public figure that's what he got exposed to.

Just at the same time her bf was explaining how it was his right to call any dark skinned person whoever he liked.

We're not even white?? Idk where they got all this. I stopped both conversations by telling them to apologize or just go eat shit, but they doubled down so i just told them they're made for each other and fuck off, blocked them from everything and because she tried to contact me through my siblings and partner, had to politely ask them to block them to which they agreed when they saw the conversations.

Even deleted all social media accounts i had her in to avoid any contact with her and that asshole.

Why i deleted? Because it was not the first time i tried to cut her off and she still looked for me until i budged, so i had to erase any tracks and even moved away from where i lived.

Anyways, it's been 5 years from this shit, her bday is approaching and i have never been able to stop thinking about her.

Idk why i worry so much about her, people have repeatedly told me i was right but we both grew in very unstable and abusive homes, so i kind of related to her.

I have never tried to reach back to her, i dont intend to.

So, AITA for cutting off a long friendship over chat for what she said was me being stupid?

What are these acronyms?

[agaypanic]

can u do malcolm x male reader like they r assigned lab partners then become bffs then bfs? thx!

Becoming Best Friends and Then Boyfriends With Malcolm Wilkerson Headcanons

Masterlist

Request Something!

A/N: the wilkerson boys are fruity on different levels and i truly believe that lmao also tiny warning for underage drinking

***

Malcolm did NOT want you as a partner at first

He’s had plenty of experience with getting paired with someone just to do all the work

But you prove to him that even though you’re not a super genius like him, you can do your part

“Hey, Malcolm, right?” You asked your new lab partner as you sat beside him. You knew who he was; practically everyone in school did, whether they wanted to or not. But you didn’t really know how else to start a conversation.

“Yeah, and you’re Y/n?” He asked in return. Malcolm also knew who you were, because he read the sheet that had your names paired up together, but he decided to try to be polite. When you nodded, he went into the usual spiel he did whenever he got paired with someone who wasn’t a former Krelboyne or seemed like they wouldn’t pull their own weight. “Okay, look, I’m fine with doing all the work. I can do the labs, write the reports, and help you with answers. But I will not cheat and do the final for you or-”

“Woah, woah, slow down, Malcolm.” You laughed, but it was more of a ‘what the hell is this guy talking about’ kind of laugh. “You don’t have to do that, man. I can do my share.”

Malcolm seemed taken aback by this. Usually, people would just wave him off and let him work while they goofed around. He didn’t really know how to proceed.

“Oh, okay. Umm…” He looked around, trying to find something for you to do. Just because you say you can do the work doesn’t mean he believes you or necessarily wants you to. “Wanna wash the beakers and vials?”

“Very funny, Malcolm.” You grabbed the lab instructions that lay in front of Malcolm and scanned them over. “Okay, grab the vials with blue and green liquid. We gotta mix them.”

“What are you doing?” He asked, hesitantly grabbing the vials like you instructed. You rolled your eyes. For a genius, he seemed to lack some common sense.

“Doing my share, genius.” You pulled out a beaker so you could mix the liquids. “Just because I’m not a Krelboyne doesn’t mean I can’t read instructions.”

You start to grow on him after that

He’s not used to people tolerating him

If they do, they usually get annoyed with him very quickly

So the fact that you wanna hang out with him outside of class is so surprising

It had been a week since you finished your first lab project, and your teacher had finally finished grading. Your teacher had given you a joint grade for the project and individual grades for the work you each put into it, so you made sure to brag to Malcolm that you had gotten an A on your individual grading.

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Malcolm pushed away your grade report with a laugh as you continuously shoved it in his face. 

“I can’t believe I proved Malcolm Wilkerson wrong. I feel on top of the world right now.”

“Well, don’t get used to it. It was a one-time thing.” The bell rang, and you grabbed your things, exiting the classroom. 

Despite the occasional attitude and what everyone says about him, you actually liked hanging out with Malcolm. And maybe it was just your imagination, but you felt like he also enjoyed your company. You didn’t want the end of your lab project to also be the end of the friendship that was starting to form.

“So, listen…” Not wanting to be one of those annoying people that just stood in the middle of a busy hallway, you pulled Malcolm to stand against the wall with you. He looked at you attentively. “There’s gonna be a party this weekend. I don’t know if you’re doing anything, but I was wondering if you wanted to go. Or whatever, I dunno.” You suddenly felt embarrassed for hoping so much he would say yes.

“Sure!” The somewhat enthusiastic response shocked you a bit. “Sounds fun.”

“Nice, cool. I’ll, uh, I’ll give you the details later, but I gotta go to class.” You said a quick goodbye and sped away to your next period. Now, you felt slightly embarrassed by how happy you felt that Malcolm said yes. But that didn’t stop you from silently celebrating that he did.

After hanging out outside of class for non-class reasons, you and Malcolm quickly become good friends

He likes that he can do normal stuff with you, things he can’t do with his other friends

Now whenever he’s not with Stevie, he’s most likely with you

You probably realize you like him during one of your outings together

Tonight felt like a night that came once in a blue moon. It was a night that both of you were free from responsibilities, and one of you had enough money to do something besides hang around a convenience store. Since Malcolm was the one with the spending money this time, he got to choose what you would do.

“I don’t know, man. The trailer looked kind of boring.” You kicked at the movie theater carpet as you and Malcolm waited in line. He nudged you with his shoulder.

“Oh, come on, Y/n. Give it a chance.”

“I’ll give it a chance if I have a large popcorn.” He laughed at your attempt at negotiation. 

“Fine, but if we get a large, we gotta share a drink.”

“Fine with me if it’s fine with you.” You shrugged. Soon you were sat in a theater, a big bucket of popcorn in your lap and a drink with two straws in the cupholder between your and Malcolm’s seats.

You liked hanging out with Malcolm like this. There were no stressors like family or work. Just you, him, and something to enjoy. He was always noticeably calmer, more relaxed when you were together like this.

As the lights dimmed and previews started to play, you snuck a look at Malcolm. He looked so peaceful as he watched the screen, occasionally commenting on a trailer or how you should see that movie when it comes out. If you didn’t know better, you’d say he looked kind of pretty like this.

Good thing you knew better.

When the movie started, Malcolm reached over to grab a handful of popcorn. Your eyes subtly widened when you felt the slight pressure on your lap. You immediately looked forward, staring at the screen.

Maybe you didn’t know better.

You feel a little awkward around Malcolm after your little revelation

But you try to not let your feelings get in the way of your friendship

I think Malcolm would realize he likes you when he sees how you interact with his family

“Crap,” Malcolm whispered as he heard the front door open. He invited you over to study, thinking you’d have the house to yourselves. If he knew that his parents would get off work early and his brothers would be running around the house, he would’ve suggested going to your house or the library.

“What is it?” You asked, not really paying attention. The class you were currently studying for was kind of kicking your ass, so you were putting all your energy into trying to understand Shakespeare.

“My family’s home.” You tore yourself from your book when you picked up his dreaded tone.

“So?” You were confused. Yes, you’ve heard stories of how Malcolm’s family can be. But you’ve met them all before, and they seemed fine. And looking at them now, they seemed like a regular family, except maybe a little bit high-strung.

“So, I don’t want them scaring you off.”

“Oh, hi, Y/n.” Lois greeted you from the kitchen, catching you and Malcolm off guard from your conversation. “What are you guys working on?” She asked, pulling something out of the freezer for dinner.

“Romeo and Juliet,” Malcolm answered, suddenly annoyed that he had to share details of his day with his mom.

“Shakespeare is kicking my butt.” You added on. “I mean, I just don’t get it. The words are weird, and the story is stupid. Romeo and Juliet are stupid.”

“Of course they’re stupid; they’re teenagers.” You laughed at Lois’ response, and she gave you a small but seemingly genuine smile. “Are you staying for dinner?”

“Oh, no! I don’t wanna bother you, Mrs. Wilkerson.”

“Don’t be silly; you’re already here. You can call your mom, and Malcolm can take you home after.” You looked at Malcolm.

“Would you mind?” You asked quietly.

“Um… I mean, if you wanna stay, I can take you home.” Grinning at his confirmation, you got up and raced to the phone on the kitchen wall to dial your mom’s number.

Through the entire conversation you had with his mom, and honestly, the rest of the night, Malcolm couldn’t help but watch how you interacted with his family. This was the first time you’ve been around his entire family, minus Francis because he didn’t live at home. Malcolm kept you away from his family as a group on purpose because he was scared that the way they clashed with each other and the effect they had on others would scare you off.

But as he watched you enthusiastically talk to Dewey about his interests in piano and composing or with his father about his niche interest of the week, he was surprised to see how natural you seemed with all of them. It was like you were the missing puzzle piece to their chaos, to his chaos. Malcolm wanted you to stay as long as you could.

Maybe he wanted you to stay for him more than for everyone, but he didn’t care.

It takes a little while for you to admit your feelings for each other

Not only were you guys scared of rejection, but you were also scared of ruining your friendship

You two are basically suffering in silence

That all changes when you’re sneaking home after a party

“That shit was insane.” You cackled as you and Malcolm walked down the street, hanging off of each other. You both were slightly tipsy, you more than Malcolm, but not enough to forget your way home. “I did not expect that chick to start dancing on the table.”

“Me neither. I’m surprised she didn’t fall off.” You both laughed harder. When you got closer to your house, you put a finger to Malcolm’s lips to silence him. You were lucky you still had a bit of a filter because his lips felt nice. He put his hand to your mouth because even though you were supposed to be quiet, you were being so loud without realizing it. You were again thankful for your filter, because now you wanted more than just his hand on your lips. “Y/n, you gotta be quiet.”

“Fine.” You whispered in a drunken giggle, slightly muffled by his hand. After promising each other to be quiet, you unlocked the front door. Luckily, your parents were dead asleep, so the two of you easily snuck up to your room.

“Do you think you’ll be okay by yourself?” Malcolm asked, setting you down on your bed. 

“Nooo, don’t go. Pretty please.” You sealed your begging with pouty lips and puppy dog eyes. He sighed, expression softening to something you had been seeing a lot of recently but couldn’t decipher. But you liked this look a lot because he was giving it to you. Malcolm sat next to you, patting your knee.

“Fine, but just a couple minutes.” 

It’s like you weren’t thinking. Your brain was all gooey from Malcolm and alcohol. You were so excited, and he was so close to you, you couldn’t help but lean toward him and peck him on the lips. Immediately, you panicked and stood up from your bed, the speed dizzying.

“Fuck.”

“Y/n, it’s okay.” He stood up, hands stretched out in front of you to try to calm you down. But it was like you couldn’t hear him.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I did that. I wasn’t think-” Malcolm cut you off by grabbing your face and pulling you towards him. The way he kissed you made your head spin, although it might’ve been from the force of the pull. It felt like he was waiting to do this his entire life, like he was waiting solely for you.

You broke apart before you could get any more heated. You had to remind yourself that your parents were down the hall and that Malcolm wasn’t even supposed to be here. He rested his forehead on yours, the constant proximity calming you.

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispered, a hand toying with the edge of your shirt.

“I thought you only liked girls.” You muttered, suddenly confused by everything. It may have had something to do with the alcohol. He laughed a little.

“Yeah, well, I thought you did too.”

“I guess I proved you wrong again.” The two of you smiled, thinking back to how this entire thing started. “Don’t get used to it.” Malcolm kissed you again, and God, you wanted him to do it again and again and never stop.

[backjustforberena]

“And that gap between them gets wider and wider in the scene till his walls are raised against her.” That’s a beautifully eloquent view because we speak a lot about how their estrangement and losing Rhaenys good opinion impacted him. But a lot has to be said about him walling her out so drastically. I think after the everything happened she was probably super cold: distant but him putting a physical distance between them and leaving was definitely much more definitive. I certainly think she was taken aback.

H answers questions that have been in her inbox for far too long.

One of the many things I'd like to ask both Eve and Steve is what they were told about that six-year gap. If they were told anything about the circumstances of Corlys leaving; however vague. Whether it was soon after or a bit after we last see them in Episode 07. Whether it was after another huge argument or just dressed up as a necessity as he needed to sort of the Stepstones again. How they left things. What the formal situation was with Baela, how that came about, and how Corlys felt about it - specifically if this reignited talk of the succession, or not.

I'd like to know their thoughts on what the reaction was in the aftermath of Laenor's death, because we don't really get that, and the reaction to Daemon and Rhaenyra's marriage. All we know is that both Corlys and Rhaenys both think Rhaenyra and Daemon had some sort of part to play with it: specifically Rhaenyra, but we don't know how they come to that conclusion and what stops them from making any sort of move on the basis of that information. I can guess, due to my read of the politics and the scenes, but we have no clarity or canon information about how all that went down.

We do have some insight because of the recently revealed cut dialogue (which I personally take as canon because you can tell that they filmed it from the editing and we know that the episode ran overlong and that's why lots of other things were cut and none of the dialogue said in it is contradicted by what we see on screen so...).

In it, Corlys says he fled because he was searching for his own death and he couldn't face her after the death of Laenor. We know that Rhaenys was left in confusion and hurt by his actions. To me, what matters is a breakdown of communication. They both end up getting the wrong end of the stick and they both end up turning inwards: Corlys, more ardently because it's he that actually makes the choices to separate them and it's he that has the more dramatic reaction.

But yes, as you say, I think Rhaenys was totally taken aback because it's not what they do. It never has been. They do things together. They confront things: all the good, all the bad, as a team. And then Corlys removes himself from the equation and doesn't even tell her why. She has to ask, six years later. She has to wonder for six years and she has to be angry for six years.

What actually strikes me, just now, is Corlys's line: You were right, Rhaenys. I reached too far and for nothing. I wonder if that could be a callback to a fight we never saw? Like he's specifically saying she was right about something she accused him of or said. Which would be all kinds of tragic, if he could quote her back six years after the fight where it was originally said.

And something that recently sort of struck me about all of this and this crisis in their marriage is that it's pretty equal. As in, they both have instances where they push the other away or leave the other or remain apart from the other. It's not a case of one of them never reaching out or one of them being hostile or the power being solely with one of them.

You've got their lack of interaction at the wake which, to me, is probably more Rhaenys-led as she seems the most uncomfortable and inward-looking. Then there's the fireplace conversation where Corlys ups and leaves, then watching Viserys depart and Rhaenys leaves Corlys by the window, then Rhaenys pushing Corlys away when they discover Laenor. And then, finally, this sort of big, abstract circumstance that has Corlys leaving Rhaenys for the Stepstones.

And, of course, all of these are peppered with moments of harmony or moments where the other one reaches to comfort their spouse or, even if one leaves, the other doesn't make to follow etc etc.

I'd be fascinated to see if anything was cut from the arc of Episode 07 because I really like the interaction and arc we have between them, isolated in that episode. Just their positioning and the moments of breakage vs the moments of unity and the silent looks and the vocalised divergence in their priorities and mindset. The way it all leads to the final killer blow of Laenor's murder.

Anyway, my impression of it is, that even though Rhaenys is the one left and Rhaenys is the one that can't up and leave, there's probably some mental check-out or avoidance that aids in this breakdown. There's some action on her part, conscious or not. Some rejection. She has some control over her own actions and emotions even if that is to the detriment of her relationship with her husband. That may just be me loathing the idea of her being powerless but I think it tracks. She's never been afraid to fight, reject or speak truth to Corlys, even if it hurts him and she's also volatile when emotional.

Corlys walling her out is definitely interesting because, of the two, I'd say Rhaenys walls herself up from Corlys more than the other way around - specifically about her claim and about her pain, I think we've seen that - but Corlys doesn't hide much from Rhaenys. His first scene alone with her is asking for her opinion and advice. But losing Laenor and Laena is just such a blow and one he doesn't think he can weather. I don't really know where I'm going with this but I think he thinks she can do without him and be better without him.

Again, in the script pages that have been published online, we can read/see that Rhaenys's attack ("You abandoned me when I most needed you") takes him by surprise. And sure, that could be a general surprise that he's woken up, alive, on Dragonstone and these are her first words to him after his bad flirting. But it could also be genuine surprise that she felt his absence that keenly and that she saw it as an abandonment, rather than something connotated with freedom or relief.

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert, Harry Anderson Egbert, Tavros Crocker, Dave Strider, Jade Harley, Jane Crocker, Gamzee Makara, Jake English, Terezi Pyrope

Candy, page 23

ROXY: honey u ready to go?

JOHN: yeah, sweetheart... give me a second!

HARRY ANDERSON: dad... what are you doing?

JOHN: just getting your gifts, harry anderson! it’s your birthday after all.

HARRY ANDERSON: ...but i already opened all the gifts from you and mom.

HARRY ANDERSON: dad... are you telling a fib?

JOHN: ummm...

JOHN: harry anderson, don’t tell your mother but...

JOHN: we’re getting a new addition to the family today!

TAVROS: Oh,,, hallo folks,

TAVROS: You’re a mite early don’t you think?

JOHN: um, nope!

DAVE: actually

DAVE: you were exactly thirty seconds and like sixty eight nanoseconds early

ROXY: oh eff off dave

ROXY: ur gettin even cornier than john and youre not even a dad

DAVE: idk my guy harry over there seems to be enjoying my material

HARRY ANDERSON: heh heh it’s like you’re a living atomic clock!

DAVE: man i love this kid

DAVE: what kind of five year old is into atomic clocks

DAVE: damn every time i see him i just wanna pinch his cheeks and tell him about what things were like when i was his age and shit

JADE: heheheh if you like kids so much dave why dont you just BUY one?

DAVE: uh jade i know that what you think you were doing there was like

DAVE: smoothly inserting the idea of us one day adopting kids into the conversation

DAVE: but what you actually just described is literal slavery

DAVE: which is both illegal and bad

JADE: sigh......

JADE: maybe YOURE the one whos illegal and bad

JADE: ever think of that???

DAVE: nope never once crossed my mind

DAVE: anyway john roxy you heard the lady can we buy your kid

JOHN: no! he’s not for sale.

TAVROS: Um,,, do you all want to come in or not,,,?

ROXY: sooo

ROXY: wheres ur mom and dad

TAVROS: They’re still in,,, uh,,, auspistice counselling,,,

TAVROS: W, with,,, uncle gamzee,,,

JADE: oh woof

DAVE: woof is right

HARRY ANDERSON: hey tavros! is vriska here?

TAVROS: Er,,,

JOHN: unfortunately, harry anderson, rose and kanaya aren’t on speaking terms with your aunt jane and uncle jake anymore.

HARRY ANDERSON: why not?

ROXY: cuz of the political situation

HARRY ANDERSON: what’s... a political situation?

TAVROS: Mother has been advising the human government that they should do their best to,,, uh,,, exclude trolls from the seats of power in all branches of public service and,,, uh,,, aunts rose and kanaya don’t like it because some of the legislation in the works could,,, erm,,, delegitimize their marriage,,,,,,,

HARRY ANDERSON: um... i have no idea what any of that means, ha ha.

TAVROS: Anyway,,, wh, why would you WANT vriska to be here,,,?

TAVROS: Why ruin a nice birthday party?

HARRY ANDERSON: um duh... cause she’s super fun!

TAVROS: She’s not fun,,, she’s mean,,,,

HARRY ANDERSON: yeah, to you, cause you’re a wuss.

ROXY: harry anderson egbert!

JOHN: don’t call other kids wusses!

DAVE: hey whats even wrong with being a wuss

DAVE: harry my dude you need to unplug from toxic masculinity

HARRY ANDERSON: from... what?

DAVE: what have you been teaching this kid

JOHN: dave, sometimes i really can’t believe this is the adult you chose to become.

ROXY: its actually great isnt it

JOHN: yeah, i guess so...

JANE: You are such an unbelievable dunce, Jake English!

JANE: I can’t believe that I work so hard and have to come home to your feckless tomfoolery every day!

JANE: My goodness...

JANE: What gives you the right to talk to me that way?

JANE: And you’re not even... you’re not even proficient in bed anymore!

JANE: What is even the POINT of you if...

GAMZEE: HeY hEy.

GAMZEE: cAlM yOuR tItS bAbY.

JANE: SILENCE, CLOWN.

TAVROS: It’s fine,,, my parents are kismeses after all,,,

JANE: Oh. Hello everyone.

JANE: I’m sorry that I was not able to greet you at the door. I had some pre-appointed business to attend to.

JANE: I trust that Tavros led you all inside without trouble?

TAVROS: Yes ma’am,,,

JANE: Good boy.

JANE: Harry Anderson, my dear!

HARRY ANDERSON: auntie jane!

JANE: Look at you! You’ve gotten so big and strong since I last saw you!

HARRY ANDERSON: i grew a whole three inches!

JANE: Yes, I can see that. You’re going to be quite the strapping young man before we know it.

JANE: Since it’s your first milestone birthday, I’ve instructed my staff that you are to be spoiled like a little prince today!

JANE: Right now they’re finishing off your cake. It’s a recipe I invented just for you!

HARRY ANDERSON: gosh!

JANE: And I’ve got your present all wrapped up too!

JANE: It’s too big to keep in the house, however, so after cake and tea we’ll go see it in the backyard.

HARRY ANDERSON: you’re the best, auntie jane!

JOHN: oh no...

JOHN: jane. please don’t tell me you commissioned one of those drone thingies for my son.

JANE: And if I did, John, what would be the problem with that?

JOHN: um...

JANE: Are you saying that you don’t want to assure your son’s safety? In troubled times such as these, one can never be too careful.

JOHN: roxy, back me up here honey.

JOHN: there’s no way you’d be ok with that, right?

ROXY: er

ROXY: well i cant say im comfy with it but

JOHN: but???

ROXY: janey means well john and itd be rude to just refuse a gift from my bestie like that

ROXY: besides ur just ASSUMIN she got harry anderson an imperial drone

ROXY: she never said that was what it was

ROXY: did u jane

JANE: ...

JOHN: ok. fine. you know what?

JOHN: i don’t care.

ROXY: rly

JOHN: yeah! it’s... it’s whatever. i get it. jane’s just trying to show that she cares.

JANE: You know I do adore little Harry Anderson.

JOHN: what i DO care about, however, is that cake.

JOHN: and not eating it, i mean.

JANE: Excuse me?

JOHN: nothing personal, jane, it’s just that i’m not the biggest fan of cakes.

JOHN: instead, i was wondering if maybe i could go visit the trophy room? you know, the one where jake keeps all the memorabilia from that dumb show he used to be on?

JANE: You mean “Poppin n’ Hoppin’ Pistol Lockin’ With Jake English”?

JOHN: no.

ROXY: or do u mean “doing the charleston with notable social figureheads: stars versus enemies of the state with your host jake english”

DAVE: that ones still running isnt it

JANE: Unfortunately, yes.

JOHN: um, yeah... that’s DEFINITELY not the one i was talking about.

JADE: oh! you probably mean “afternoon gilly gaffy amongst the common folk with your host j. gishy gun mcgee”

JOHN: no, god! these all sound so bad.

JOHN: i mean the one with dirk!

DAVE: dude

JANE: You mean the classic prime time program, “Rumble in da Pumpkin Patch”?

JOHN: yeah! that one!

JADE: ew... why do you wanna go look at stuff from rumble in da pumpkin patch???

JOHN: why not?

JADE: i dunno, it just seems kind of morbid with dirk dead and all, dont you think?

JADE: also that show was REALLY gross

JADE: i support jake in whatever he does but it was so... so.....

DAVE: sweaty

JADE: yeah!

JOHN: i dunno. i just feel like it was an important cultural milestone, and i missed it all by being mopey and depressed for like five years straight.

JOHN: so what do you think, tavros? wanna show me all about your dad’s glory days?

JANE: Oh, I can take you there, John.

JOHN: NO!

JOHN: i mean... no, that’s fine.

JOHN: i’d like some time to get to know my nephew.

JOHN: or, uh... cousin?

JOHN: ecto brother?

JADE: omg dave i just realized that when we get married thatll make john and rose siblings in law

JADE: which is funny since i guess john is technically already your father in law

DAVE: yup thats totally what our friendgroup needs

DAVE: to be even more incestuous

HARRY ANDERSON: what does incestuous mean?

ROXY: it means that everyones rly good friends harry anderson

ROXY: just a dumb fancy word for bffs

ROXY: its a big hard word for grownups tho so feel free to unknow it now sweetie

DAVE: oh yeah

DAVE: thats totally it

TAVROS: Um,,,,,

JOHN: hey tavros.

JOHN: let’s go, buddy!

TAVROS: Uncle john,,, what’s the real reason we’re up here,,,?

JOHN: oh. i could see that you were getting uncomfortable.

JOHN: you don’t like being around big crowds like that, do you?

TAVROS: ,,,

JOHN: but you don’t like to be alone, either?

TAVROS: ,,,,,

JOHN: well, not in this house at least. i wouldn’t want to be alone here either. it’s not a very nice place to live, is it?

TAVROS: I’m,,,, uh,,,, not sure i understand your meaning, uncle john.

JOHN: here, come with me.

TAVROS: This isn’t the right way,

JOHN: i know. hey tavros, why don’t we just go to your room for a minute?

TAVROS: Oh,,,

JOHN: tavros...

JOHN: is everything ok?

TAVROS: ,,,

TAVROS: Yes, uncle john,,,

TAVROS: Why do you ask?

JOHN: you just seem...

JOHN: i don’t know.

JOHN: sad?

TAVROS: I feel okay,

TAVROS: It is a happy day, after all,,, it’s harry anderson’s birthday,,,

TAVROS: There is good reason to be happy,

JOHN: yeah.

JOHN: but what about YOU.

JOHN: are you ACTUALLY happy about it?

JOHN: about... everything going on here?

TAVROS: I suppose,,,

TAVROS: My mother tends to get displeased when i’m unhappy, so,,,

JOHN: sigh.

JOHN: tavros... does gamzee ever come into your room?

TAVROS: Possibly,,,?

TAVROS: He so often is found to be in,,, so many places,,,

JOHN: isn’t that his faygo there??

TAVROS: Oh,,, my, no,

TAVROS: Please, uncle john,,, don’t tell my mother,,,

JOHN: tell her what??

TAVROS: The faygo is mine,,, my uncle gives it to me sometimes,,, my mother strictly forbids it, of course,,,,,

JOHN: tavros, listen to me.

JOHN: are you... getting... bad touched by your uncle gamzee?

TAVROS: Oh,,, uh,,,,

TAVROS: No??

TAVROS: But, yes,,, i can gather how you might draw that conclusion,,,

JOHN: you can?

JOHN: why?

TAVROS: It just seems like a thing that would eventually happen to me, does it not?

JOHN: what would make you say that?

TAVROS: Well, i think,,,

TAVROS: For the same reason that led you yourself to wonder, uncle john?

TAVROS: He is a very,,, very bad clown uncle,,, but i think i am not allowed to say or think such a thing,,,,,

JOHN: why not?

TAVROS: Because,,, uncle gamzee has undertaken his redemption arc,,,

TAVROS: With a spirit of great sincerity, i’ve been told,,,

TAVROS: So,,,,, the truth is, no matter how i may feel about him,

TAVROS: Mother tells me that he is not actually bad,

TAVROS: And therefore,,, anything he does cannot truly be considered bad either,

TAVROS: Otherwise, we are not respecting his repentance,

TAVROS: Or the others he has saved,,,

TAVROS: I don’t want you to worry,,, too much, though,

TAVROS: His occasional sojourns in my room are not of any especially ill intent,,, i don’t think,

TAVROS: He has told me in confidence that his intention is to train me,,,,,

JOHN: TRAIN you???

TAVROS: Yes,

TAVROS: In matters of combat,,, philosophy,,, life,,, love,,,

TAVROS: I suppose to behave the way a mentor does, as he sees it,,,

JOHN: that’s IT!!!!!

JOHN: tavros, start packing right now.

TAVROS: Packing,,,?

JOHN: yeah. one bag with some of your clothes, your favorite toys and books, that kind of thing.

TAVROS: I don’t understand,,,

JOHN: tavros. i have to get you out of here.

JOHN: *NOW*.

TAVROS: Uh,,, what?

JOHN: i’m going to take you away so that you can live with me, harry anderson, and your aunt roxy.

JOHN: you wouldn’t have to live here anymore. no more being alone all the time.

JOHN: no more weird troll maids, or listening to your parents fight...

JOHN: and no more “uncle” fucking GAMZEE.

TAVROS: That does sound jolly good uncle john,,,

JOHN: then what are you waiting for? start packing!

TAVROS: Well,,, i would, except that we can’t go out without tripping the security,,,

TAVROS: Mother has taken great precautions to make sure i never,,,,,,,

JOHN: don’t worry, kid. i came prepared.

JOHN: we’re leaving through that window, one way or another.

JADE: john...... what are you doing?

JOHN: um...

JOHN: nothing!

JOHN: just, uh... fixing this damn broken window, is all.

JADE: i heard everything

JOHN: so, what are you going to do?

JOHN: tell jane?

JADE: john...

JADE: i wouldnt do that to you

JADE: youd probably end up on jakes stupid execution dance off show

JOHN: then are you gonna help me?

JADE: i cant do that either

JADE: you know that this is just going to make everything worse right???

JOHN: jade, i don’t know where you’ve been these past few years, but i don’t think things CAN get any worse!

JOHN: i mean, even today, jane was up here hollering at jake about how his dick doesn’t work right when she KNEW we were all waiting for them downstairs!

JADE: i know...

JADE: but all youre going to do by kidnapping him is piss everyone off

TAVROS: Excuse me dearest aunt but,,, is it kidnapping if i badly would like to go?

JOHN: see!

JADE: siiiiiigh

JADE: i understand where youre coming from but i dont think youve actually thought this through

JOHN: yes i have, because i’ve been planning it for years.

JOHN: i know that i’ve been pretty, um... flakey in the past?

JOHN: but this is really important. i know what i’m doing.

JADE: john, jane is one of the most POWERFUL people on the ENTIRE PLANET!!!

JADE: do you REALLY think that you can keep him away from her if she wants to get him back???

JADE: im sorry but you just dont know them like i do

JOHN: if you know them so well, jade...

JOHN: then you know why i have to do this.

JADE: im on your side here! i know that jane hasnt been the best parent...

JADE: but stealing somebodys child???

JADE: there has to be another way :/

JOHN: if there was another way we would have found it by now!!!

JOHN: but there isn’t one, because everyone’s been all... brainwashed by marriage, or whatever the hell happened over the last few years that made things be this way!

JOHN: it’s like everyone just talks past each other all the time!

JADE: john...

JOHN: i’m the only one who ever seems to realize that something...

JOHN: that something’s WRONG!

TAVROS: I would really be chuffed if the two of you,,,

JOHN: even you, jade!

JOHN: you’re not listening to me right now!

TAVROS: ,,,would stop quarreling and listen to me for a spell,,,

JOHN: that’s why karkat left!

JOHN: because you didn’t listen to him!

JOHN: just like you don’t listen to dave!

JADE: what the fuck, john?!

JADE: this isnt about me and dave

JOHN: yes it is!

JOHN: i mean, not directly, but cosmically, yeah it is!

JADE: cosmically?????

JOHN: you KNEW that dave and karkat were in love with each other, but you went ahead and totally messed with their relationship anyway!

JADE: wh... what!

JOHN: jade, don’t pretend you have no idea what happened.

JADE: i.... i cant believe.....

JADE: john thats such a low blow!

JADE: you dont know the first thing about me and daves relationship!!!

JOHN: i know more than you think i do!

JOHN: i know that you pressured them into that whole relationship.

JOHN: i know that they both hated it, and only went along with it because they care about you and felt obligated!

JOHN: and jade, i love you, but honestly, how does that make you any different than jane?

JADE: im nothing like her!!!

JOHN: well, you’re nothing like the jade i used to know either!

JOHN: the jade i used to know was caring and selfless! all you ever wanted was for your friends to be safe!

JOHN: you weren’t this... this SELFISH!

JADE: oh? is that what this is about john??

JADE: you dont like it now that im not some helpless princess in a tower anymore???

JADE: you dont like that im doing things for MYSELF now?????

JOHN: what the hell are you talking about?

JOHN: seriously, jade... i don’t even know who you are anymore!

JADE: well!!!

JADE: i can certainly say the same for you right now!!!!!

TAVROS: Aunt jade,,, uncle john,,, you should really, uh,,,,,,

JANE: Excuse me.

JANE: But what the FUCK is going on in here?!

TAVROS: Oh,,, no,,,,,

JADE: jane!! haha!!!

JADE: we were just

JANE: Hollering at each other so loudly that everyone in the darned house can hear you?

JOHN: oh, like you’re one to talk.

JANE: John, I know that we have not been as close in recent years as we were in the past, but I would like to think that at the very least our familial relationship would make it so that you felt you could talk to me face to face if you think that my method of parenting is insufficient.

JOHN: are you sure?

JOHN: do you really want to know what i think?

JADE: oh no........

JANE: Please, John. Illuminate me.

ROXY: wats going on

DAVE: oh shit

JOHN: i don’t know, jane. i feel like if i really speak my mind here, it might be dangerous.

JOHN: how do i know you won’t have the secret police come and arrest me in the night?

JANE: Excuse me?

JOHN: that’s where this is all going, right?

JOHN: your whole... thing with the trolls?

JANE: If you have something to say, then say it plainly, John.

JOHN: fine.

JOHN: i don’t think that you had bad intentions to start out with, jane.

JOHN: in fact, i think that you probably honestly thought that you were doing what was best for the world.

JOHN: you’ve always been a perfectionist, right? but over the last few years you’ve morphed into a complete control freak!

JOHN: and it all started with your relationship with jake.

JOHN: you forced him into a relationship when dirk’s corpse wasn’t even cold!

JAKE: (Er i would like to point out... )

JANE: I’m sorry, but you’re calling me a control freak? Dirk was the control freak.

JANE: After he died, I distinctly remember loosening up, in fact!

JANE: I let go! I was actually RELIEVED to hear he died!!!

ROXY: uhh

ROXY: janey wut

JANE: Okay, that was a misleading statement. What I really meant was—

JOHN: jane, you’re missing the point!

JAKE: (...that jane and i were involved in a romantic dalliance at the time of his death...)

JOHN: dirk is dead. this isn’t about him anymore.

JOHN: you’re the one cheering the government along as it marches toward genocide!

JANE: John, I hardly think you’re qualified to opine on the nuances of the current political situation, thank you very much.

JOHN: ha! is that how you talk to your husband too?

JANE: He’s actually, at the moment, my kismesis. And if Jake didn’t want any of this, he shouldn’t have knocked me up.

JAKE: Hello chaps i am right here.

JOHN: oh yeah, like that was suuuch an accident.

JOHN: can you honestly say that he wanted any of this!

DAVE: oh my god i am so sick of all this domestic relationship shit every fucking day

DAVE: can we talk about something else for once

JOHN: yeah dave, i’m sick of it too!

JOHN: that’s my point!!!

DAVE: ok

DAVE: then john can you just

DAVE: stop all this windy shit at least

JOHN: no! i can’t!

JOHN: i can’t stop, because i’m not the problem!

JANE: Are you saying that I’m the problem? That’s extremely reductive.

JOHN: ok, yeah, there are lots of problems!

JOHN: but i’ve got to say, jane, you kind of ARE the problem?

JOHN: a lot of this awful garbage revolves around you!

JOHN: you’re the one always selling everybody on gamzee’s “redemption arc,” which is TOTAL BULLSHIT!

JOHN: putting him on billboards, organizing “redemption rallies,” and, and...

JANE: John, the people need something to believe in, if we are to live in an organized society. You simply wouldn’t understand.

JOHN: and letting him... letting him sleep in your and jake’s bed!

JOHN: and feeding him that... that weird MILK all the time!

JOHN: UGH!!!

JANE: Hey! My relationship with my loyal auspistice is none of your business, let alone who it is I decide to share a bed with.

JOHN: isn’t it?!

JOHN: you sure go out of your way to shove it in everyone’s face!

JANE: John, that is just uncalled for.

JOHN: it’s bullshit, jane!

JOHN: it’s!

JOHN: all!

JOHN: BULLSHIT!!!!!

JOHN: i... i...

JOHN: i’m sor—

JANE: No one wants to hear it, John.

TEREZI: JOHN

TEREZI: 4R3 YOU TH3R3

TEREZI: 1 R34LLY N33D TO T4LK TO SOM3ON3 R1GHT NOW

JOHN: yeah. me too.

[lost-technology]

Said in this household today, paraphrased, as I can't remember exactly what was said: My fiance / common law hubby talking about a Youtuber he was watching: *Describes the guy's background as a comic book shop owner* "Unfortunately, he's a Trumper - so there's...that, but he knows comics. Keeps his politics *mostly* out of things, but it comes up sometimes." *Talks about how the guy rants about how some of the film adaptations don't keep to source material.* Me and my guy: *Both agree on some stuff about how progressive storytelling is fine if it is not forced / tokenism.* (I'm very progressive...and female... but I really don't like stuff in media that is *obviously* only there as a token. One can tell the difference between organic storytelling and "rammed in for a buck." SOMEHOW this lead into a conversation about how the '90s X-Men comics had, in terms of gay characters, a pair of brothers "who were into each other" ??? (Not something I'm sure of, and not an anti-gay statement, just a bit of comics-trivia). Cue me going: "Okay, I have a RANT about Trigun-fandom!" My guy starts laughing. "Plantcest!" He's into Trigun, too, I got him into it, but he's not into the online creative fandom currently. (He wrote some fanfiction back in OG fandom back in the day, some of it gifts to me, but he doesn't have the time to do fanfiction anymore). I was *sigh* "It was always there, [mutual enemy] was into it for a bit," bringing back some bad memories that he might have forgotten because [mutual enemy] was more into and belligerent about another ship, but I said now, with Stampede? Given some of the weird metaphyscial stuff between Vash and Knives there? "Some fans are taking it as mutual. If you go to Archive of our Own, it's the second most popular ship. So many Explicit-rated fics and some of them are just... (beyond just incest) just... super weird." Cue me describing some...interesting fetish tags. And how I have read a few out of curiosity. It's wild. Sort of warning him off of most of Ao3 for the fandom because he's more kink-averse than I am (and I'm the one who actually openly identifies as an asexual!) I'm kind of going... "Oh, good lord, the Plantcest in this fandom!" *and how I have the tag blocked.* For those viewing this blog / post... I do warn, I am very against Plantcest / Twincest (at least as a mutual thing / kink). It's a gives me the heebie jeebies thing. I am not going to harass people over it or call people terrible for liking it. It's just... not my thing. I've got tags blocked on here. It's just... I get a little annoyed that I have to filter a lot on Ao3 to find stories I will like because it's the second most popular ship. My complaint isn't that it exists so much as it's like my complaint about how Mexican-American restaurants want to put guac on everything when we don't like guac and we have to specify "no guac."