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#he‘s so funny
patrick-mahomes · 4 months
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PATRICK MAHOMES Wild Card Press Conference Jan 13, 2024
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threestripeslider · 1 year
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i know all the Peepaws are probably like. 6ft+ pure apocalypse beef & grief but somehow OMO!Leonardo gives me Short King vibes.
Peepaw Multiverse but there is one F!Leo like a head shorter than the rest and it‘s OMO!Leonardo
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anantaru · 1 year
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JING YUAN AND CYNO SHARE THE SAME ENGLISH VA, GUYS WE WON SO HARD I‘M SO HAPPY 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
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rizzzcat · 6 months
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I used to hate Rock, but tumblr users who point at this man and scream „BABYGIRL MATERIAL“ actually convinced me to give him a chance and now we‘re besties actually.
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yoursselo · 1 year
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WAKE UP BESTIE NEW MASON AND AMELIA CONTENT
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funnihumanbeing · 5 months
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Will Graham <3
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apoloniaspiegelgold · 2 months
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„If you can‘t do it, no one can.“
„She knows everything. There‘s nothing she doesn‘t know.“
„Can you tell her boss that? She spends too much time in the office and I don‘t think he appreciates her enough.“
„Well, why didn‘t you ask me for help? I can help you better with this than your friend can. Can‘t you do it over? Can‘t you just … throw it all away and do it again, but with my help this time? I could help you with it right now!“
„Did I just hit you with that branch?“ - „No, but it looked like you just hit yourself over the head with it, are you okay?“ - „I did, but who cares. For a second there, I really thought I had hurt you!“
„I read this paper last week and I thought of you.“ - „Send it to me.“ - „You don‘t even know what it‘s about yet.“ - „Send it to me.“
Do you know what this does to a person? I feel like a giant. I‘m gonna end up being ten metres tall if he keeps this up.
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toji-my-beloved · 1 year
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i’ve started to DESPISE toji slander it‘s ruining my experience with the fandom.
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notanotherinfjblog · 1 year
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ENTJ: Wait, you know Professor XY (an ENTJ)? I love his papers, they are always so straightforward and clear. They are so good!
INFJ: Yeah, he taught at my old university. It‘s always so funny to watch ISFJ become a little fanboy when he talks about his work because I know all the beef that people have with him.
ENTJ: Like what?
INFJ: You see, my old university was very laid back when it came to hierarchy and formality and all that. But then there was him who didn‘t bother to learn other people‘s names before they had a PhD.
ENTJ: Okay, but to be fair, you don‘t learn the names of your students. Why would you?
INFJ: I do.
ENTJ: What? How? I‘m not going to make them wear name tags and go around in a circle asking each of them who they are. I don‘t care.
INFJ: Well, I do. I want to know who I‘m talking to. And since I‘m asking them to address me by my first name, too, it just seems fair.
ENTJ: … what?
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cyberhobi · 2 years
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he can be my housewife anytime
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evansdiazz · 1 year
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eddie: dating someone you rescue never ends well
eddie: *dates the girl who he rescued and who‘s in love with her own brother*
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peachssodapop · 1 year
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what if i made a zelda comic and i set it in the most fucked up part of the timeline i could find
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swiftieeddie · 4 months
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having a crush is sooo embarrassing but it‘s worse when you cant tell if the guy might actually be flirting or if it‘s just because he‘s lovely to everyone
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allywthsr · 6 months
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FIGHTING BIRTHDAY | (l.norris)
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summary: Lando drinks too much and it gets out of hand, the birthday boy is angry at you
wordcount: 6.3k words
pairing: landonorris x fem!reader
warnings: ANGST!, vomiting, being drunk
notes: please let me know if it’s gut wrenching angst, I never feel the angst if I write it. Requested by anon! Thank you for your request, let me know if it’s how you wanted it :)
I hope Lando is okay, that crash was scary!
”Lando, maybe you should slow down with the drinks.“
You were at the birthday party you arranged for Lando, and he was already peppered. He was barely able to stand, his words were just slurs and his mood changed from funny and happy Lando to angry and annoyed Lando. A couple of drinks made Lando a really funny person, when his world started to spin, he got less funny and more agitated and when he was piss drunk, he got angry at anyone, no matter what you would do or who you were. Of course, he was supposed to enjoy his birthday and of course, he could drink how much he wanted but you were scared of what would happen once he reached that piss-drunk stage again. Last time he screamed at you when you wanted to take him home and you didn’t need a redo of it.
Currently, he was at the world spinning stage, but on the edge to piss drunk, so you tried to keep him sane and stop him from drinking so much, or maybe have a water and a snack in between.
”Oh come on Y/N, you only turn twenty-four once, let me enjoy it.“
”Of course, but maybe you should have a water.“
”Where am I? At a race or at a party? Don’t be such a party pooper and let me have fun drinking, I can handle it.“
So you gave him a smile and wandered off to join your friends again, the friends being the driver’s girlfriends. One more drink and he would pass the piss drunk stage and you were scared of it, you weren’t ready to argue over nothing tonight, especially because you’re not sober either, but you knew your limits and you wouldn’t be so angry at someone, no matter how much you drank. So when you saw him downing his glass after you left him, slightly giving you the side eye, Max came and gave him another glass of something strong and they both clinked their glasses together, and Lando took a big gulp of the beverage.
You sighed and Pietra looked at you.
”Is everything okay?“
”Yeah, Lando is drunk again, but I can handle him.“
”Are you sure? Maybe Max can bring him home tonight.“
”No, don’t worry. He‘s my boyfriend, he won’t do anything. And Max is just as drunk as he is.“
After a few minutes, Max and Lando came over, just by the look in Lando’s eyes you could see that he wasn’t on this earth anymore, but somewhere in his drunken mind. Max had to hold Lando up and looked at you with a pleading look, you knew what to do, so you got up and got to Lando’s side. You linked under his arms and walked with him to the bar, ordering two waters, you sat him down on the barstool and tried to get him to drink it.
”Lando, come on. Drink this for me.“
”Wh… s‘thats?“
You knew if you told him it was water, he wouldn’t drink it, so you had to come up with some lies.
”It’s pure vodka, I have one too! Let’s see who can down it first? The winner gets to drink the glass of the other.“
You lifted the other glass, but it wasn’t meant for you, it was also meant for him, maybe this race thing made him drink it.
”Su..re.“
So he lifted the glass to his lips, just as you did and he gulped it down, while you took tiny sips of yours.
”Won!“
”Yes Lando, you beat me! You wanna have mine?“
He only nodded and grabbed your glass and downed it too. Good. At least there is some water in him now. He looked at the guy behind the bar and yelled: ”Can I have something strong?“ or at least he tried, it all sounded like gibberish, but the guy understood and was about to start working on making him a drink but you lifted your hand towards him.
”Hey Lando, look! Max is dancing silly.“
While you held onto his sleeve, so he wouldn’t fall while turning around you talked to the guy.
”Listen, can you just pretend to make him something and can it be a water with some coke, so he thinks he‘s drinking some coke mixture? He‘s had enough.“
The bartender nodded and got to work, while Lando was crackling beside you, apparently, he saw something funny, but when you looked around you saw nothing but his friends dancing normally. He was a completely different person when he was drunk.
When he turned around again, the bartender just put the glass of water with a spritz of coke on the surface. With a bright grin, Lando took it in his hand and took a big sip. This guy was trying to blackout or something.
”Babe… toilet… pee.“
He tried to point to the toilets but pointed in a completely different direction, so you got up and pulled on his T-shirt to get him to stand up too, you had to carry him to the toilets and waited in front of his stall for him to finish his business, but when you heard him gag, you pushed open the door and saw a kneeling Lando.
”Shit Lando, why didn’t you say anything.“
You sat next to him and stroked his back while he emptied his stomach. To be honest? You were happy he was puking right now, at least he would be a little more sober afterwards. When he was finished, you lifted him back up and checked for any spills on his T-shirt, but luckily there weren’t any and he only went to the sink to wash his hands and his mouth. You both went back to the lounge and sat down, you held his drink out to him and he took it, carefully sipping the drink. He looked at you and his eyes looked a little clearer now, but what happened next, was something you kinda saw coming but kinda didn’t.
”Is this.. water?“
”No, look, it’s a really heavy mixture, the coke is almost see-through.“
”Y/N, I know water when I taste it, why are you trying to give me such bullshit.“
”Because you’re drunk, and you should slow down.“
”Who are you to tell me what to do, huh?“
”Someone who doesn’t like your drunk side.“
”Then maybe you shouldn’t be with me“, before you could say or do anything else, he got up and left the lounge, getting lost in the crowd.
Now his birthday was ruined, at least for you. You loved birthdays from family and friends, especially Lando’s, you had planned this day for weeks, organizing everything, down to the last detail and now you sat in the lounge, waiting for it to end. You were mad but mostly sad, you just hoped he would slow down on alcohol and sober up, but you knew it wouldn’t happen.
Every now and then a girlfriend of drivers and friends would show up and talk to you, but you mostly sat by yourself in the lounge, waiting for Lando to come back and apologize. You tried to spot Lando in the crowd, but it was impossible, the club was packed with friends and family of his, and because of the flickering light, they all kind of looked the same.
When Max joined you, you knew it was bad.
”Y/N… I hate to say it, but… I‘m drunk.“
You chuckled.
”I know Maxie, where’s P?“
”I..I don’t know, lost her a while ago, probably dancing really sexy somewhere.“
”Then why are you here, shouldn’t you be dancing with her?“
”No.. Lando is piss drunk and people are leaving… he won’t drink water.“
”I know, but we will leave soon, don’t worry.“
”But he is… rude, make him.. uhm nice again.“
”He‘s rude to me too, tomorrow he‘ll be fine.“
Suddenly Max got up.
”Come on.. I‘ll bring you to Bob.“
You thought it was funny how he slurred his words, due to him being drunk, he probably thought he was saying things perfectly fine but it wasn’t the case.
He held out his hand for you to take and you did, when you also stood and Max started walking, he was swaying from side to side, no longer being able to walk straight anymore. Hand in hand you walked with Max to where you assumed was Lando, he was sitting at the bar. Sitting wasn’t the right word, he was more like hanging over the bar, it didn’t even look comfortable. The club was almost empty now, a few drunk people were dancing or sitting at the bar as well, but it emptied quickly. Lando turned around and saw Max and you, his features darkened rapidly, oh oh. You immediately let go of Max‘s hand and patted his arm, walking the last few meters to Lando by yourself.
”Should we go home?“
”You…. NO!“
His loud scream scared you, and some people turned to see what was going on.
”Lan, come on, you’re causing a scene.“
”I.. am? You’re with Max.“
”He only brought me to you, because I couldn’t find you. Come on, let’s go outside“, but he only turned around and looked towards the bartender again.
”Another!“, and he pointed to his still full glass.
”Man, I think you should slow down.“
”You don’t tell me what to do! You do your job.“
You decided it was enough, this was a poor bartender who could run to the next tabloid and talk about how bad Lando Norris is.
With one last step, you stood directly next to him and grabbed under his arms, to pull him up. He was wonky on his feet and grabbed your waist when he was about to fall.
”You’re a bad bartender… Y/N, tell him to make me another drink!“
”You’re next drink is outside, let’s go yeah?“
Lando nodded and you looked at the bartender, who was looking shocked and you muttered a quiet ’Sorry‘ before walking with Lando out of the club.
”Where’s the drink?“
”At the hotel, should we go there?“
”You set me up!“
”What? No! If you want you can have a drink there, but I’m tired and you should sleep soon too. It’s almost five am, Lando please.“
”You’re a bitch!“
A few people were standing outside, waiting for a cab or smoking, they all looked at Lando and were shocked about his behavior, just like you. Tears were forming in your eyes, but you could hold them back, you didn’t want to cry in front of his friends. You had a few fights when he was drunk but he never called you a bitch before.
”Excuse me?“
”That’s what you are! There’s no drink, you lied to me. I want a drink, I‘m going back in.“
”Lando, no! Please.“
Now he got closer to you, standing right before you and he was angry. He was pointing fingers at you, ”You’re a bitchy bitch, let me have fun on my birthday, but no! Y/N is coming to ruin the day, as always. I‘m not allowed to have fun, not even on my birthday. You’re the meanest person ever, my party is in full swing and you’re moping because I‘m having fun“, you tried to push him away, to distance yourself a little, you didn’t want him to come any closer, not in this state.
”The Party is over, Lando. Let’s go back to the hotel, please.“
But he ignored you and walked back in, with a big sigh, you leaned against the wall and waited a few minutes. You needed to calm down too, being called a bitch by the human you loved most, hurt, it hurt like a bitch. Hah, pun, because of bitch..
You knew he was drunk, but it wasn’t really an excuse, he shouldn’t think about you like that, even when drunk. After a few minutes, you went back in for the hunt for Lando. He was probably sitting somewhere at the bar and that was where you first went.
He was slouched, again, and you had no energy left to fight with him.
”I‘m going back to the hotel, I don’t care if you sit here for the rest of the week or if you come with me. I won’t come and get you in a few minutes when you decide I’m right.“
Of course, you cared if he came back, but you knew this would make him come with you faster, he was like a little child.
”Fine! But only if I get another drink.“
With a sigh you nodded and looked at the bartender, it was the same one, that did the waters for you earlier, he knew what to do, mix water with some random sirup and act like it’s alcohol. The orange-looking drink was downed by Lando and he said nothing, he got up and forcefully grabbed your arm to stabilize himself.
”Ouch.. Lando, you’re hurting me.“
But he didn’t do anything and just started walking towards the entrance.
”Lando, loosen your grip, it really hurts.“
”Shut up, I don’t care.“
Now your eyes were filling with tears, this wasn’t the Lando you knew and loved, he was some other person that you didn’t like. Your arm was hurting but you carried him outside, and when he was leaning against the wall he let go of your arm. You were sure it would leave a bruise.
You waited five minutes for a cab and both of you got in, once it stopped, you told the driver the address and he started driving, during that drive, Lando tried to touch you on your thigh, getting closer to your private area, but you weren’t in the mood. You pushed his hands away and he pouted, trying it again just a few seconds later. You gave him a stern look, but he didn’t care, he kept on doing what he was doing and you endured it. You weren’t ashamed or disgusted by his touch, but you weren’t feeling it. In his drunk mind, he didn’t get it, so he continued. The drive was only ten minutes long, so when you got out and carried Lando up to the room, you were ready for some peace, but luck wasn’t on your side today.
Lando was trying to kiss you and when you turned your head away for the fourth time, he was ready to fight.
”What is your fucking problem?“
”I don’t want to have sex right now, I’m not in the mood.“
”But I am!“
”Go and take a shower or something.“
”Not only are you a bitch, but a boring girl too! You won’t even have sex with me, what kind of girlfriend does that?“
”Lando, please, calm down. Take a deep breath and go to sleep, we‘ll talk about it in the morning.“
”I don’t want to take any of your fucking breathes, they’re useless, just like you. You can’t even pleasure me.“
You tried to stay calm and don’t let the words get to you, but they hit a spot and tears were slowly escaping your eyes.
”Look at you! You’re crying because you can’t take the truth, I’d rather fuck an oompaloompa instead of you.“
You turned around and walked away from him, you tried to get to the bathroom and lock yourself in, give him time to cool down, but he was faster.
”You do not run away from me when I‘m talking.“
”Lando, who are you? My Lando wouldn’t talk to me like that.“
”Your Lando grew tired of you.“
”Just go to sleep, I know you don’t mean any of these things you’re saying right now.“
He scoffed and sat down on the bed, at least something. You quickly changed in the bathroom and removed your makeup, you didn’t do the full skincare routine, you were tired, psychically but mostly mentally. When you came out of the bathroom, Lando was also changed, well, he removed his clothing and was only wearing his boxershorts. On a normal occasion, you would jump his bones and things would get steamy but today, you wanted to be as far away from him as possible.
You sat down on your side of the bed and sighed, this was a night to forget.
”Don’t sigh that loud, the party was your idea. If you can’t handle me drunk, then don’t organize a fucking party for me.“
”I wanted to be nice and organize something you like. Because all of a sudden, you meet these new people and you love parties, just four years ago, you told me how much you hated going out and rather stay in with me.“
”People change, you’re just acting out because you don’t want to see me happy.“
”I want to see you happy! But are you only happy when you’re drunk and partying?“
”You don’t make me happy anymore, so yes.“
Wow, you knew he was angry and this was the anger speaking out of him. He wanted to hurt you and he knew how he could.
”Lando, I don’t think you know what you are saying right now, so it’s better if you sleep and we talk tomorrow.“
”You’re just scared that I‘ll break up with you because without me, you would be a nobody. You wouldn’t have the luxurious life you have now.“
Now you sighed and looked at your fingers, this was a big insecurity of yours. He was right, without him you would still be in your boring job and stuck in your old life, but you liked your new job at quadrant, the traveling you get to do with
Lando and seeing new places all over the world. The idea that Lando could break up with you, was something you carried around every day.
”You don’t even have an answer to that, do you? Because I‘m right.“
”Lando please, you’re hurting me, you’re very mean right now.“
You felt as if you were discussing with a thirteen-year-old teenager.
”You were mean earlier when you brought me water.“
”I only want the best for you, can’t you see that?“
”If you would truly love me, you wouldn’t have given me water.“
”I love you so much! Don’t ever doubt that, but I just wanted you to remember the night.“
He completely ignored your comment and kept going.
”Maybe I should find a new girlfriend, that wouldn’t betray me like that.“
God, you couldn’t believe he was saying such things only because of some water, but he was piss drunk and probably didn’t even know the love he normally felt for you.
”I can just look through my DMs, you have no idea how many girls write me every day.“
He was hitting all of your spots and he knew it, you didn’t know if his drunk mind was trying to get you back for the water, or if he actually meant it, drunk words, sober thoughts, right?
You got up and got dressed again, you couldn’t endure his words anymore, you had to leave for the night, and give him time to cool down.
”What are you doing?“
”I‘m going to sleep somewhere else, you’re hurting me and you said it yourself, when I ever feel like I’m not welcome somewhere, I don’t have to feel the need to stay - so I’m not staying.“
”So you’re leaving me?“
”Only for the night.“
You gathered new clothes and your toiletries before packing everything in your backpack.
”I‘ll get a new room or something, you sober up and maybe think about your actions. I‘ll be back at some point.“
”Pathetic, you’re running away from me.“
”I‘m not runni-“
”And to think that I was going to propose to you soon, I‘m so happy you showed me your true colors.“
Your heart sunk, a proposal? It made sense, you‘ve been together for years, and everything went well, normally. You two were in love.
”Lando please, it’s only about a water, you’re acting like I cheated.“
He sat up and glared at you, ”It feels like it, you cheated on me when you gave me that water. It was my birthday, I‘m supposed to enjoy that, not drinking water.“
”We’re running around in circles, I’m leaving and you get back to me when you’re sober and know what you’re talking about.“
”I wouldn’t have thought that you would ever run away from me.“
”I‘m giving us space before we say things we don’t mean, or I say things I don’t mean, you already said things.“
”Only true things.“
Without another word, you grabbed your backpack and put it on back, walking towards the door, giving the room one last glance, to see if you collected everything for the night.
”Lay on your side at least, I don’t want you to choke on your own vomit“, even when he said such mean things to you, you still cared.
”I wish I‘d never asked you to be my girlfriend, then I would’ve fucked a random girl into oblivion and I wouldn’t have blue balls right now. In fact, I wish I‘d never even met you, I‘d have a more stress-free life.“
Before he could say anything else, you opened the door and rushed through it. These words were hurting you badly, did he mean them? Without trying to think about it, you made your way down to the reception to ask for a room, and luckily they had one available in that you could move in right away. The receptionist did look at you weirdly and asked if she could help, but you declined and only said you just needed a new room.
When you moved in and laid on the bed, all you could think about was the words Lando said to you, what if it was true? What if you‘d never met Lando, maybe he’d be happier now, not angry at you for giving you water. It’s stupid, because of a damn water. You were sure if he had drunk any more alcohol, he would be black-out drunk right now, maybe that would’ve been better than trying to get him to sober up. There was no right or wrong here, you just hoped he was back to normal when he woke up. If he felt sorry he definitely had to do better than just apologizing, but you needed time, a lot of time. Being called a bitch by your boyfriend wasn’t something that was okay in any way. You were scared of what the day would bring after you woke up, either he would understand his mistakes or both of you would be single.
You tried to fall asleep, but your thoughts drifted back to Lando, was he sleeping? Was he vomiting? Hopefully, he didn’t vomit in his sleep and choked on it. You watched some Netflix and while doing that, you finally fell asleep.
The next morning you woke up in a cold bed, the bed always felt cold without Lando in it, and with all the things he said to you, you still missed him. Your phone was pinging with messages and they were from Lando and some of your friends. First, you looked at Lando’s and saw what he had to say.
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When he was trying to call you, you thought about answering, but you wanted to let him cook a little longer. Maybe it was selfish, but you wanted him to hurt a little too, all the ugly things he said to you weren’t something lightly, and even because he was drunk, it wasn’t something you should use as an excuse.
Next, you looked at your friends‘ texts.
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Shit. You didn’t know there were pictures taken, so not only did you have the situation with Lando, but now it was public and you seemed like the bad guy, when you did nothing wrong, you only gave him water to sober up.
But eventually, you couldn’t contain your anger towards him and you were scared of the conversation, after an hour of ignoring his texts and calls, you got ready and gathered your things before going to your old room. You unlocked the door and Lando stood in the room.
”Y/N! Where have you been? I was super worried,“ he ran to hug you, but you didn’t hug him back, you only stood straight and waited for him to be done. He tried to kiss you next but you only turned your head to the side, so his lips grazed your cheek.
”Are you okay? Why are you not kissing me back?“
”We should sit down.“
He looked at you confused but sat down on the bed and waited for you to say the next thing.
”The last thing you remember from yesterday was you puking?“
He nodded.
”You got more drunk after, and well, you were pretty hurtful towards me.“
”What did I say?“
”You called me a bitch, said you wish you never met me, then you wouldn’t have such a boring life or made me your girlfriend, said I can’t pleasure you, you were rude to the bartenders, should I go on?“
”That wasn’t me.“
You scoffed, of course, it was him. You pulled out your phone and opened the link your friend sent you of the article.
”If you tell me, this isn’t you and me, then I believe you.“
He looked at the article with big eyes and was stuttering, clearly, he didn’t expect there to be pictures of the situation.
”But why were we fighting? Everything was perfect.“
”Yeah, until you were too drunk and I tried to give you water to sober up, you noticed and freaked out. Called me a bitch and all that, when I finally dragged you to the hotel, you said that you never should’ve met me.“
He got up and walked through the room, ”all because of water?“
You nodded and looked outside the window with the beautiful view on the strip.
”Y/N, I didn’t mean it like that, you have to trust me.“
But you said nothing and kept looking out the window, you knew this was coming, but you were too hurt to let it slide.
”Y/N, please. You’re not a bitch, you’re my angel. I love you so much.“
”Drunken words, sober thoughts, remember.“
”You know how angry I get at things when I’m drunk, do you remember the time I yelled at Max for standing too close to the drinks? Because of stupid things, I get angry. I didn’t mean anything I said.“
”Doesn’t justify it, Lando I’m sorry but I don’t know if I’ll stay in Vegas, I wish it turned out different but you really fucking hurt me.“
”No! Y/N! You can’t leave me, I need you. We planned so many cool things in Las Vegas.“
”Maybe, but I didn’t think you would hurt me that much.“
He sat down and grabbed your hand, you let him, after all, you loved him.
”You have to believe me, baby, I didn’t mean anything I said. I love how cared for me and tried to give me water, I’ll never drink again, I promise!“, he tugged a loose piece of hair behind your ear and grabbed your chin to make you look at him.
”Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t think you’re taking this seriously Lando. You called me a bitch, drunk or not, this is something that came out of your mouth!“, now you were the one that got up and released yourself from his touch.
”I am! I just think we should forget about it, because, clearly, I wasn’t me.“
With a huff, you went and grabbed your bag.
”Think about what you did, I need to go, maybe you were right, maybe we never should’ve met, maybe this relationship was supposed to last for a few years, but not forever and always.“
”Wait Y/N, don-“, but before he could continue, you were out the door and in the hallway. Slowly you walked to the elevator and waited for him to run after you, but he didn’t. The door stayed closed, no matter how long you stared at it and waited for it opened. With tears in your eyes, you waited for the elevator and it took you to the lobby.
You had no plan for where you were going, you just walked. You wanted him to think about the things and realize this isn’t something that he can fix with an easy ’I‘m sorry‘. You walked for at least an hour before resting in a small café near the strip, you prayed that there were no fans of Lando, normally you loved meeting the faces behind the edits, but today you needed your peace. You ordered your favorite beverage and checked your phone, not one call or text from
Lando appeared on the screen, instead millions of messages from Instagram. Private messages, comments, tagged pictures and videos, the list goes on and on. You had even received messages from your and Lando’s parents, yours were worried about you and wanted to know what happened, same as Lando’s. They also told you they couldn’t reach Lando and wanted to know if he was okay. This was all too much, you wish you threw this damn party, then you would be happy with Lando right now. You hated fighting, especially with Lando. After sitting there for at least thirty minutes, you decided it was time to talk about it, you couldn’t endure the unknown anymore, you needed to know what would happen with your relationship.
Once again you held the plastic card against the door and the red light turned green, you opened it and were welcomed with a big bouquet of flowers. You walked further into the room but couldn’t find Lando, instead, you saw two bigger boxes sitting on the bed next to a piece of paper, you sat down and read.
’My dear angel,
I‘m sorry I hurt you, it never was my intention to do so. I know being drunk isn’t an accuse of actions and I’m not saying that anymore, what I did was stupid, you’re not a bitch, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, I am so glad I met you that day, because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be nearly as happy as I am. You pleasure me just perfectly, I don’t think that there was a day in these five years where I wasn’t ready to fuck you, by just looking at you. Yes, even in your sweats and with your bun on top of your head.
If I could turn back time, I would. My behavior was unacceptable, and it’ll never happen again, I promise. I love how you cared for me, and kept on trying to give me water, and rubbing my back while I was puking all over the toilet, that’s true love.
I‘m giving you space, take as much time as you need, I’ll wait. If you want to go home, just text me and I’ll book the next available flight home, whether it’s Monaco or your actual home, you won’t even see me, if you don’t want to. But if you’re able to give me another chance, in the two boxes next to you, are things I know you wanted for some time now. I‘m not trying to buy my way back to you, just know I did this to show that I care about you. I have made a reservation in the restaurant you desperately wanted to go to, but it was all booked out. Being a driver comes in handy I guess. I‘ll wait for you. The reservation is at 8:00 pm, don’t feel the need to come, it’s fine if you need more time, I can’t blame you, it’s all my fault.
I‘m sorry, I love you.
Yours.‘
He could be actually really sweet. You dropped the letter on the bed and got up to face the boxes, you first opened the smaller one, in there were your favorite shoes, in that color you wanted. You‘ve been in Lando’s ears for months, that you want to buy them, but you were too stingy. You turned them around in your hands and admired them, they were beautiful. A small smile fell over your face.
Next, you opened the bigger box and pulled the material out, that was wrapped in satin paper. It was a designer dress that you loved, you saw it some time ago when you were window shopping with Lando and you couldn’t get it out of your head. The price was way too much tho, and you forbid Lando to buy it for you, I guess he didn’t listen. You looked back to the flowers and admired them as well, he did go all out. The anger was still there and you were ready to have a screaming match with him, but you felt a little better, the walk also helped clearing your head.
The time on your phone showed you, that it was already 6:32 pm. You thought about just leaving and taking the space you needed, but you couldn’t dump him in this expensive ass restaurant. You were angry, but not cruel.
So you put on your makeup, doing your hair and lastly you put on the dress, it fitted you like a glove, it better does, it costs way too much money for the amount of fabric that goes into it. You looked at your new sneakers, but you couldn’t wear them to this expensive ass dress, so you went with your normal heels. Seeing it was already 8:02 pm, and you had only now left the room, you were going to be late. But he deserved it, you were going to meet him, but you could be a little late. He was definitely sweating already because you weren’t there yet.
You took a taxi to bring you to the restaurant and because of the Grand Prix, the streets were closed and it took longer than normal to get there. Now it was 8:19 pm and you only got to the outside of the building. The elevator was taking you up to the last floor and the waitress waiting at the front desk was welcoming you with a smile. She brought you to the table where Lando was sitting, when he saw you, his eyes lit up and he stood up to greet you. He gave you a kiss on your cheek and you both sat down.
”I‘m glad you came.“
”I wasn’t sure if I wanted to.“
”Oh.“
”What Oh? Lando please,“ you tried to keep your voice calm, so others wouldn’t shift their attention to you, ”You said things that clearly upset me, you can be happy that I’m here. I don’t think a lot of people would do that.“
”I‘m sorry, I didn’t think yo-“
”You didn’t think, seems like you’re not doing that a lot lately.“
Before Lando could answer, a waiter came to you and you ordered your drinks.
”I‘m really sorry, you have to believe me. My behavior wasn’t okay, and it won’t happen again. I promise.“
You said nothing and kept quiet, you didn’t want to forgive him already, he should feel the pain you felt.
”Thank you for the clothes,“ came out of your mouth after you got your drinks and ordered your food. You may be mad, but he still paid hella money for the things.
”You only deserve the best, you know that.“
You nodded. The silence was loud and both of you didn’t know what to say, that never had happened before, normally you always have something to talk about.
”Baby, what do I need to do, that you forgive me? I‘m really sorry. I‘ll do whatever.“
You grabbed his hand that laid on the table.
”I need time, I won’t leave, but I can’t jump back into how we were before the party. Just give me time and you need time to reflect on everything too. Just because I’m staying doesn’t mean it’s fine, neither am I. I love you so much, but you hurt me big time, you humiliated me in front of our friends and tabloids. I need you to be a good boyfriend.“
”I‘m so sorry, it never was my intention to hurt you, nor publicly. I hate myself for letting this get out of hand, I don’t know why I was acting that way, I just know that it’ll never happen again. You have to trust me with that.“
He squeezed your hand and looked at you, you could clearly see how sorry he was. He was embarrassed and you could feel it, he was acting all shy and didn’t really know what to do, he'd never been like that before.
Your food came and it was enjoyed in mostly silence, a few comments about the food or view you had up here, were made, but you both were stuck in your own mind.
The walk to the hotel was silent as well, you were walking next to each other but without touching, it was awful. It has never been that stiff between you two, so when you stood in the elevator that brought you up to your floor, you couldn’t endure this feeling anymore. You hugged and squeezed him tight.
”I love you, okay? We‘ll work it through and we‘ll be okay, don’t worry.“
You looked up at him and pressed your lips to his, he was melting down in your touch and finally relaxing a bit.
”But you also said something else while you were drunk.“
Lando feared the worst.
”You want to propose?“
taglist: @millinorrizz
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anantaru · 11 months
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Uh do you think kaeya has breeding kink? Im sorry wihrhw but after the 3.8 livestream ive just been seeing A LOT OF KAEYA DOTING ON KLEE FANART 😭😭 and it makes me melttt aaaa like it makes me wanna marry him and have his babies ☠️ which is funny cz i don't even wanna have kids in real life HAHA
- ❄️
cw. breeding, fem! reader
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"i wanna—" kaeya speaks lowly, slowing his digits over your shaking skin, immediately noting how your fast breathing was erratic, but also exciting for what‘s about to come, "i wanna breed you."
and he’s upfront with his precious needful cravings, knowing that you feel the exact same way as he did. in the middle of the night, with a freezing breeze ringing against the cold windows, you flinch when he pulls himself into you, gentle drags over your trembling walls as his cock fills you up entirely.
your hands were swift to require additional support, braking your fingers into his bronzed back and vaguely bruising the skin with your nails. kaeya throws his head back in exhilarating pleasure, thirsting and in truth— wholly gone by nothing more than your perfect pussy milking him for all he’s worth.
he releases his seed shortly after, revelling in your sloppy hole flexing around his girth, pistoling himself so far up your cunt and making sure he‘s overspreading his milky whites onto the used flesh, so it wouldn’t leave you again— or, maybe it should, in fact, he could do this all night long until his legs would give up on him.
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©2023 anantaru do not share, copy, modify, translate
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milorealcat · 6 months
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wilbur soot as your boyfriend ♡
pairing: wilbur x gn!reader
summary: wilbur loves you a whole lot:)
length: relatively short (362 words)
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-> constantly sending you cute photos when you‘re not with him, especially on tour. most random shit ever like it could legit be a cool looking rock
-> hand holding 24/7 😭
-> obsessed with making you homemade stuff for valentines and anniversaries, he saw paper roses made out of book pages on pinterest and went down a rabbit hole from there
-> he‘d heavily lean into the idea of promise rings
-> physical touch & acts of service!!! i will die on this hill
-> would match outfits with you on accident… totally
-> absolutely infatuated with you; literally can’t stop staring at you, even when you call him out on it
-> if you even glance at something in a shop, he‘ll whip out his wallet immediately
-> he‘s a big spoon imo but he doesn’t really care as long as he gets to cuddle with you, he would die a happy man snuggled up next to you
-> internally squeals whenever he sees your username pop up in chat. his voice softens a little and he tries to act cooler (it fails)
-> is still so nervous around your family enough though they all love him to bits and basically consider him your husband already
-> speaking of chat, they get a lovely half an hour long explanation of something funny you did just about every stream
-> always puts his hand on your lower back to lead you through places, regardless of if you’re built like a tank or not
-> play a demo versions of all of his songs to you, your opinion means the world to him
-> LOVESSS getting face kisses, makes him go all red and flustered which is a bonus
-> would be the kinda person to talk during a movie, fucking analysing it as it plays
• "oh my GOD!!!! her GIRLFRIEND just drowned!!!"
• "wil… you know i‘m watching the movie too right?"
-> calls you ”darling“, ”sweetheart“ and ”love“ mostly, with an occasional ”baby“ slipped in there
-> will rant about you for hours unapologetically
-> has a framed picture of you two on his desk, as a form of emotional support
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first actual piece of writing posted on here 😭😭😭 praying
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