#it‘s gonna be so fucking funny

[evansdiazz]

eddie: dating someone you rescue never ends well

eddie: *dates the girl who he rescued and who‘s in love with her own brother*

[curlyhairedprince]

.

[rafesslxt]

✧.* 𝑭𝑨𝑽𝑶𝑹𝑰𝑻𝑬 𝑨𝑭𝑭𝑨𝑰𝑹 | 𝑺𝒂𝒎 𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒓𝒐𝒆

summary: you and Sam have a secret affair while your bf is his enemy. when you call him to pick you up in that slutty outfit of yours, he shows you what you‘ve missed while partying. - based on this request

warnings: smut!, arguing, cheating, mention of alcohol, smoking, oral (on both), unprotected p in v, cum, choking, orgasm denial, breeding kink, 69 position, dirty talk, dom!Sam but still whimpering here and there bc you cannot tell me he wouldn't

words: 6,5k (bro WHAT) + it‘s 5am so sorry for typos i‘ll correct later

"Don't tell me you're wearing that!" Sam's voice echoes through my room when he stares with jaw down at the dress I changed into. "Sam, it's none of your concern." I sigh, combing lightly through my curls so I don't separate them too much.

It was supposed to be a mistake, a drunken slip, a one time thing. It's been three weeks now and I can't force myself to pull away from the grip he has on me and I don't think he even knows how powerful that grip really is.

It's like I can finally breath again when I'm with him, even If it's never for long or outside our rooms. Currently he's at mine. He came over when I told him I'm getting ready for a party and well - one thing led to another and now he's sitting on my bed with his clothes back on (imagine it like in the picture at the top) watching me getting ready again.

"Are you gonna fuck him?" he asks, jealousy dripping from his voice. "No." I shake my head and glare at him through the mirror. I'm sitting in front of. Since I started sleeping with Sam I didn‘t let him touch me and Sam knew.

I notice him standing up from my bed and slowly stalking over to my chair. He leans down so his head is at the height of my ear. "| want him to fuck you, so you know I can do it better." he almost demands, suddenly tugging my head back with a hard grip on my curls I just styled so perfectly.

"Sam!" I hiss and roll my eyes at him while he still holds my head back. "You're gonna listen to me m'kay?" I gulp and loom at him through my long lashes, batting them at him. He leans closer again and I see his face upside down from my position.

"If you leave wearing that, then the second you come back I'll bend you over everything possible."

I feel the heat creeping up my neck upwards my cheeks, leaving a slight red tint behind. "You belong to me, don't forget that." he mumbles against my lips so soft that you could think he just said the most beautiful thing but his hard grip in my hair reminds me of the opposite.

I know he's obsessive, possessive, jealous. Kind of funny when you think about the fact that he's the affair with me having a boyfriend. And on top of that, his biggest rival. "Enemy" how my boyfriend James would always say.

James. He's the complete opposite from Sam. Mean, bully, rich, entitled, popular, typical jock. I forgot a long time ago why I am in a relationship with him in the first place.

I remember how he alway told me to stay away from Sam when I met him in the cafeteria in school for the first time. Not even a minute after James came and dragged me away from him, not without insulting Sam for speaking to me of course. I smiled at him apologetic, not understanding what was supposed to be wrong with him.

James said Sam's a lot into drugs and stuff but I didn't care. Half of the school is and as long as he's not harming others with it, I really couldn't care less.

I feel Sam's lips ghosting over mine, teasing me with with his hot breath. I love how he kisses me. It's always so full of life, passion and longing. When James kisses me it's just eager, sloppy and wet. Sam kisses like his life depends on it. As If he can't breathe properly but when his lips touch mine.

"Sam.." I breath out in a whiny tone. "Dress like a slut and I'll treat you like one. I don't kiss sluts." he whispers against my lips before pulling away and letting go of my hair. I sigh in frustration when he let's go of me and apply my blush with a pout on my face.

I hear him chuckle behind me, he probably saw the look on my face. "Don't pout angel, write me when you're on your way home later alright?" he grins at me, putting on his shoes and opening my window to climb out of it. I roll my eyes at him playfully, hiding a smile with it when I already feel the excitement in my chest knowing I'll see him later.

And with that he climbs outside and closes the window behind him, winking at me before walking away. It's a miracle to me how he tells me I'm a slut and how he calls me angel the next minute. He always does this, making me feel alive, giddy, like a fucking teenager.

Wait, I am a teenager. But I mean like a teenager with no experiences or one that never talked to a boy before.

I concentrate on my face in the mirror again, applying my favorite lipgloss before I take my purse and throw the lipgloss in it. "Bye Mom!" I shout through the house when I open the front door, hearing her calling me to have a good time and not come home too late.

I love her, she's not too strict and understands me, not forgetting how her life was when she was young like me. But at the same time she would kill for me and protect me from everything. It's a great balance. She trusts me and I don't overstep boundaries.

When I arrive at the party I dressed up for, I can already smell the alcohol and weed from a mile afar through my car window. I roll it up and park a few houses further away when I see everything full of cars.

But what did I expect right? It's James, I mean everyone in either jealous of him or of me because they wanna be with him. If they only knew how easy I would trade that ticket. So of course his birthday party would explode of people. He lives in a big house, his parent's house of course but I think he mentioned something of them being on vacation for two weeks.

I grab the birthday present that rots since two weeks at the backseat of my car and get out of it, making sure that I closed the doors properly. My stomach wrenched and the closer that I get the more my head is starting to get dizzy from all the weed clouds around me.

I greet a few people that I know, hug some of my 'friends' from our friend group and slowly get inside. The air inside is a little better but still smells like alcohol and sweat from the dancing body's in the big living room. "Y/N!" I hear someone shouting over the music. I turn around and notice James' best friend coming towards me.

"Hey Mike, how are you?" I ask him trying to be polite but the truth is the more seconds passed, the more I wanted to throw my gift at James and get the hell out of here. There was a time were I loved nights like these right I front of me. Where I was one of the dancing body's sweating and drinking, sometimes even smoking. But now I just felt so - out of place.. wrong.

"I'm good, I'm good. I guess you're looking for your boyfriend? He's in the backyard with the rest." I smile at him and nod, thanking him for telling me before I watch him disappearing back into the crowd.

I let out a deep breath. I got this. It's just one night. A few hours, right? And then I'll be at Sam's. God I have to stop thinking about him like that, he's just.. sex, right?

I walked into the kitchen, looking for something to normal to drink but of course they only bought alcohol. I took a red plastic cup and filled it up with tap water, taking a big chuck from it, trying to calm my nerves a little. Oh fuck it. I grabbed a whiskey bottle and filled my cup up with Pepsi and the alcohol in my hand. Yeah, that's better for calming nerves. I mean, I'm already here so why not try to have at least a little fun.

With the drink in my hand I leave the kitchen and open the glass doors t the back yard where James is supposed to be. And doesn't take me long to find him with 'the rest' how Mike said. 'The rest' is usually our friend group. I like them, I really do. But they're just.. not that deep. It's fun to party with them, go to school with them - well the ones that don't skip all of their classes, and maybe even talking about little problems like arguing with parents or fights with boyfriends and girlfriends. But that's as far as it goes.

Maybe that's the reason why I feel so comfortable around Sam. I remember the first night we had sex, he lit up a J afterwards and asked me If I wanted to. I shook my head and sat on my rooftop with him, watching the stars. I never talked to him a lot before, like I said James kept me far away from him, but still we talked abut everything that came to our minds.

Aliens, the universe, the stars, the whole fucking galaxy. How does everything work? Is the government telling us everything? Are there already people on our earth that don't come from here? Maybe it was the weed, but I don't think so. It felt natural to talk with him. Having a good laugh for the first time win months.

My heart starts to race when I think about that night with him. Sometimes I wonder If I'm - no. That couldn't be. It can't be. He would never also. Right?

I get thrown out of my thoughts when I feel two arms sliding around my body from behind. "Hey baby." a deep voice whispers into my ear. I know it's James. I smell his cologne and obviously I recognize his voice. His breath smells like alcohol, a lot alcohol.

"Hey James. Happy Birthday." I force a smile on my lips and turn around in his grip. He kisses me and cups my face in his hands, squeezing my cheeks together. "Thank's babe. Why are you standing here tho? Come on let'S go to our friends." He takes my hand into his and pulls me towards a little chill lounge where everyone sat with drinks or J's in their hands. "Hey guy's!" I greet every single one of them before sitting down next to my boyfriend.

"Here, for you." I smile at him and give im his present. "Thank you baby." he smiles brightly when he opens it and see's what's inside. "Hell yeah!" he grins and pulls out a pair of shoes. To be honest, I don't know what's so special about him but I knew he talked 24/7 about them with Mike and how hard they are to get to I asked a friend of my dad who had a lot of connections when it was about fashion.

"They are great, thank you baby." He gives me another kiss, sloppy and a little too wet. God how I missed Sam's lips and - no. "Yeah, no problem." I answer, trying to hold my smile up.

The night went by slow, my mind racing with the wrong thoughts when you're considering I'm sitting right next to my boyfriend. He has his hand on my thigh, and his other one around his red cup filled with liquor.

At some point I started to take drink after drink, probably not being able to drive later. I took out my phone, reading some messages I have gotten. Two from my best friend Lisa, who lives in New York, sadly, and one from Sam. My heart starts racing again so I take another sip from my drink before opening it.

"How's the party going?"

I try to hide a smile when suddenly a evil little idea gets to my head. Everyone around my was busy ding something so no eyes were on me when I took a photo of James hand on my thigh and send it to Sam with a little message.

"How I wish it was your's."

I bite the inside of my cheek when I wait for an answer, not expecting it to come as quick as it does.

"Is that you'r way of showing me how sorry you are for ging out like that?"

I swallow down the clump in my throat and try to ignore the bad feeling in my stomach. Is he mad? Was it a bad idea to send him a picture? I know he's a jealous type but I already have too much alcohol in my veins to be reasonable.

I lean backwards against the lounge I'm sitting on and take another picture. This time of my face and cleavage not letting a lot to the imagination. I bite down on my bottom lip and smirk into the little camera of my phone, looking up as innocently as possible.

"How about I show you how sorry I am later?"

What I don't know is how Sam's breath got stuck when he saw my message. He looked at it, imagining how he would rip that damn dress off and fuck me through the whole night. His hand wanders down to his hard cock, massaging it slightly through his sweatpants. A quite moan leaves his lips when he stares at the way I bite down on my lip. "Little minx." he mutters to himself when he closes the picture and let's go of his boner.

"Trust me, you'll be sorry. Have fun at your little party, angel."

With a smile on my lips I put my phone away again, grabbing my cup. "Why're you smiling like that? Who texted you?" the voice of James ask me, making me jump a little. "Huh?" I look up at him when he towers his head over me a little. " I saw you texting and smiling. Who texted you?" he repeats himself, a serious look on his face.

I sigh when I knew how this would go. I mean, he's right and If we're being honest, I'm cheating on him There's nothing romantic or noble behind this. He's right. But at the same time, he was jealous in a little meaner way than Sam is. I never cheated on James before and even two years ago when we started dating, he always accused me of cheating on him or texting other boys when in reality I've never done such a thing.

Oh, there even was a rumor once that he cheated on me with a girl from our friend group, Amanda. She's nice. But also knew it was true that she had an eye on James.

"Lisa texted me." Well, that wasn't a lie. "Oh yeah? And what made you smile about it?" he asks, glaring at me. I roll my eyes at him and look away, knowing he hates it. So I'm not really surprised when he pulls my face back into his direction and repeats himself again.

"What made you smile, y/n?" "Oh my god she's my best friend and lives in another state! I was just happy she texted me!" I groan annoyed and stand up from my seat, his hand dropping from my thigh. "Where are you going?" he calls after me but also doesn't make any attempt on following me so I ignore his words and walk back inside through the house and up some stairs that I know lead to a bathroom.

When I get inside I lock the door behind me and let out a deep breath. I pull my phone out of my purse and look for a certain name in my contact. I hold it against my ear when it starts ringing on the other side. Not even two rings later he picks up.

"What's up, angel?" Sam smiles into the phone. "Miss you.." I mumble into the phone, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub behind me. I hear him chuckling. "Then leave, it's that easy." "You know its's not." I argue, pouting while looking into the mirror over the sink. I run a finger over the corner of my mouth, taking off a little of my smudged lipgloss.

he sighs into the phone now too so I continue talking. "he's gonna ask where I'm going and then will insist on one of his friend bringing me home just so he knows I'm not going anywhere else. And If I go without telling him he'll literally stand in front of my house after at least an hour."

"Break up with him." he says. "What?" I gasp, surprised he said that. I mean yes it is obvious that I should but not one time one of us really spoke these words. "You're not happy with him and you'll never be. You should find someone where you are." Someone. I don't know if it's the feeling slowly creeping up my neck and spilling over after holding them in for so long or simply the alcohol but I only scoff and roll my eyes.

"Yeah, right. Someone." my voice sounds cold and distant, pissed. "Y/n was you know what I mean.." "No, Sam. Actually I don't" Silence. And another sting I feel in my heart.

"See you, Sam." I chuckle sarcastically and press the red button on my phone. Not a second later I hear someone knocking on the door. "Y/n? Are you inside??" I groan when I hear James voice. God why can't he just leave me alone.

I stand up from the bathtub and walk over to the door, unlocking it. "Oh, Mike." I say, realizing it's not James. "Uh- James told me to look after you." "Oh, great? And he couldn't do it by himself?" I scoff, pushing past his best friend. I hear him sigh too and walk after me. "You know how he is." "An asshole?" I state, looking at him. He just grins and shrugs. "It's fine. I just wanna be alone for a moment, okay?" "Okay." He nods slowly and leaves.

I really don't know why he's keeping up with James bullshit. He's way too smart and nice for all of this. Well, just like me.

Still annoyed I wander through the hall of this ridiculous huge house, scanning all these portraits and pictures on the walls. My parents are rich too, really rich but this is just.. hideous A family of 5 living in a house as big at the fucking White House.

My mind races with thought when I suddenly hear voices whispering and giggling. I knit my eyebrows and try to be as quiet as possible to hear them again. They lead me to a big door to which I press my ear against. I recognize the voices but I couldn't quite put my finger on who they were so nosy me slowly opens the door a little just to take a little peep.

I didn't expect to see what was I front of me. My boyfriend. And Amanda. Making out on a couch. "When are you finally breaking up with her?" I hear Amanda whine like the little bitch she is. "I don't know. I told you this is just a one time thing Amanda." he answers.

What is going on? "One time thing? You're telling me four months are a one time thing for you?" she argues back. What did she just say? Four months? I close the door and take a step back.

I mean I know I'm cheating on him too. I'm no saint. But fucking four months? At the same time, I go inside myself for a moment and try to feel anything. But nothing. Not a single tear, not a single ache in my heart. I feel.. relieved? Am I crazy? My boyfriend of two years cheats on me and I feel relieved?

I quietly walk back down the hall, back down the stairs to the party. It's over. It's fucking over. I feel a smile creeping up my face when I walk outside into the backyard again. "Hey y/n, everything good?" A girl named Jessy asks me. I smile at her, almost laughing. "I'm feeling as good as never before." A giggle slips out my mouth when I sit down and take another drink from the table. They share a few looks but I couldn't care less.

I take out my phone and open the chat between me and Sam. Just now I see he texted me right after our phone call.

You know what I meant y/n.

It's complicated.

Please don't ignore me.

Are you still coming over later? I miss you

Miss your tight litte pussy around my cock

I roll my eyes at the last message but chuckle.

Oh and I know you just rolled your eyes at that

Wanna see your pretty (your eye color) eyes roll back when I fuck your attitude out of you

I quickly type in my answer, sending it with no regret now.

Can you come pick me up Sammy? I'm drunk and I want you, please.

Of course angel. Where do you want me to park? The street before the main?

Just park in front of the house

He was surprised at my massage but shrugged it off.

Alright. Gonna be there in 30.

I tucked my phone away again, taking in a deep breath. The excitement crept up in my chest again. Now that I knew James cheated on me too, I had a much less guilty for doing it with Sam. Old me would have ripped her hair out when I saw her sitting on my boyfriends - ex-boyfriends lap. But you know what? Let her have him. I know he's bad in bed. Let her realize one day she's off better.

After only fifteen minutes I heard them coming outside together, giggling slightly before sitting back down and pretending nothing happened. I played dumb and smiled at James. "Hey, where have you been? I looked for you." Yeah, let him sweat a little. "Oh uh- I looked for you too, I've sent Mike to tell you." he grumbled, glaring at his best friend.

"Hm, weird. And why did you came outside with her?" I point at Amanda, who looks at me like a deer in the lights. "She uh- she helped me. She helped me looking for you.." he stumbles over his own words.

I just nod when I felt my phone vibrating.

I'm here. Drove faster.

I smile at Sam's message and stand up without saying a word. "Where are you going?" James asks, this time following me. Amanda and Mike stand up too, following him like fucking puppy's.

"Home." I say, shrugging with my shoulders without looking at him. " You're drunk. Let Mike drive you home, he didn't have that much." he tries. "Oh don't worry, my drive is already here silly." I giggle, my stomach tingling in the best way possible when I see Sam's car lights through the windows.

"What do you mean?" James asks me mad, walking a bit faster now to keep up with me. I walk through the living room again and then outside the front yard where I see Sam leaning against the passenger seat door.

Before walking towards him I stop and turn around. "James, it's over. I'm not mad at you okay? I did the same. I'm just so relieved that you obviously feel the same about our relationship." He looks at me dumbfounded. "What are you talking about?" I roll my eyes and laugh at his words. "Oh come on. I saw you and Amanda and I heard you too and don't even try to deny it please cause I'm fucking someone else too."

I see the anger creeping up his face, ignoring the fact that he's cheating on me completely. "WHAT? Who the fuck are you talking about?" Then it hits him. He looks at me and beside me in the distance, he recognizes Sam standing against his car.

"You've got to be fucking kissing me you dumb slut!" he starts shouting and insulting me but I turn around and walk to Sam. I notice him looking at me confused but I just straight walk towards him, push myself against him and kiss him with all the passion inside me, in front of everyone.

I hear James yelling in the background, Mike probably holding him back. Sam's lips move against mine, his hands wandering up my sides, gripping the flesh beneath his fingers. "Fuck, what's that all about huh?" he mumbles against my lips, pulling away slightly.

Out of nowhere I feel the heat pooling in my stomach, yelling at me to finally fuck him. "I want you Sam. Want you to fuck me stupid." I had to giggle, I can't stop it. God he has to think I'm ging literally crazy but he just bites his lips and pushes me inside his car, driving off with me.

"What happened in there?" he chuckles and gazes at me for a second before returning his eyes back to the road in front of us. 

"You'll never believe! When I hang up I wandered around the house and found him with Amanda, making out and her saying that they are fucking for four months now. And I - I just felt so free all of a sudden. No tear no anger, nothing. Just free." I ramble my words down, smiling the whole time.

"So I got you for myself now huh?" I don't know why but my cheeks burned like hell when he said that. Did he want me for himself? I mean yeah well who wants to share but like- does he want me or want me?

When we arrive his house, he parks in front of the house, helping me out of the car and inside the house. "Your Dad home?" I whisper to him when we walk up the stairs to his room. He shakes his head and grins devilish. "He's camping or something. Means you can be as loud as you want, angel." I bite my lip at his comment and rush upstairs with him, him basically throwing me onto his bed but upside down, so my head is at the edge of the bed.

"Remember what I told you If you go out in that outfit, I'm gonna fuck you over everything possible?" he remarks with his voice so raspy in my ears. I bite down on my lip again, nodding and trying to hide a smile but failing miserable. "This will be the last time you're laying on this bed for tonight." he grins down at me and leans down towards my lips, licking over my bottom lip before kissing me.

I hum against his lips when I feel him nibbling on mine. When he pulls away his breathing gets heavier. Is he just as excited as I am? He puts a hand on my cheek and strokes the skin with his thumb. "You're gonna be a good girl, angel?" "Hmm of course."

"Good, then do what I say, alright?" he half demands. I see him opening his belt, and pulling down the zipper of his jeans. "You got me so fucking hard you have no idea." he chuckles while pushing everything in the way down.

No matter how often I see his cock, it always amazes me again how big he is, his pretty pink tip leaking pre-cum. He takes a step closer to the bed again and grabs my arms, pulling me so much that my head hangs over the edge. "You're gonna suck my cock and maybe I'll play with you." I nod eagerly and open my mouth for him, ready to take him in.

He takes his dick into his own hand and rubs it teasingly against my lips, biting down on his own lip. I sneak out my tongue and lick off the salty essence from his tip, letting it slide over and over it again.

"Hmm.." then out of nowhere, he pushes in, almost choking me with it. His eyes roll back before he moves his hips, fucking my mouth without giving me a moment to get comfortable. "Shit, it alway surprises me how well you can take it. Let's see how far you can." he groans, pushing his hips deeper.

I try to breathe through my nose and concentrate on pleasuring him, hoping he would reward me for it. "I'm gonna fuck your throat baby, 's that alright?" he asks before pushing in deeper after I nod slightly. "Oh fuck.." he let's out a deep groan and closes his eyes. "I can see my fucking dick in your throat baby. God that's so hot."

His gaze wanders over the rest of my body until he sees my purse beside me, my phone fallen out of it. He leans forwards, choking me even more and takes it into his hands. I see him start taking pictures of it and smiling at them like a artist who just found his muse.

Tears start forming in my eyes due the feeling of him choking me every few seconds. "Fuck you look so pretty when you cry baby but that's your fault hm. Got outside like a little slut. Remember, you act like one, I'll treat you like one." he repeats himself.

I move my tongue up and down at the side of his cock, massaging the prominent vein he has. I hear him whimper slightly, his tough facade faltering a little.

He let's his hands wander over my body, massaging the flesh beneath my dress, pinching my nipples through the fabric making me whine around his cock. "Fuck you like that, right? Think I'm gonna reward you for listening so good." he slowly pulls out his cock and let's me catch my breath. I cough a little and swipe away the tears that started to run down my face.

He looks at me expectingly and raises one of his brows. "Thank you." I choke out to which he nods and leans over my body, pulling up the front of my dress. I hear him chuckle when he notices the wetness soaking through my underwear. "You get off on sucking my cock?"

His fingers ghost over my aching clit, teasing it through the fabric. I whine out loud and push my hips up. "Please, please touch me Sammy." "Hmm but I', already touching you. Gotta be more specific."

"Pleeease, need to feel your mouth. Please." never in my life would I beg any man like that. But for Sam to touch me I would get on my knees and start praying.

He pushes my underwear to the side and laps at my puffy folds, tasting me and groaning. "You taste so good.." then he starts sucking my clit and I almost faint at the feeling. I let out a silent moan, bucking my hips but he presses them down and slightly nibbles at my clit.

"Fuck Sam!" my scream echoes probably through the whole house. "Suck my cock again." he mumbles against my pussy, adding a finger and teasing my entrance with it. I grab his hard cock and wrap my lips around the tip, sucking on it with a lot of pressure. "Oh yeah.." he groans against me, sucking harder on my nub.

I feel his finger entering me slowly, then another one so it's two and curling them up just right. I let out a long moan around him, squeezing my eyes shut. I take him deeper until he hits the back of my throat.

He groans against my clit, making me moan around his cock because of the vibration. It's like an endless circle of pleasure.

He starts pumping his fingers faster, flicking his tongue over my clit like he knows every inch of my body. Well – he does.

Then I start feeling it, the fire pooling in my abdomen. My walls clench around his fingers, signaling him I'm almost there. He let's go of my clit and continues pumping his fingers. "Are you close baby?" he asks tauntingly and puts his thumb on my now sensitive clit, rubbing it without any mercy.

I cry out around his cock, tears running down from all the pleasure around me. Never ever did James make me feel like this just from oral. Then, right before I explode, he stops. Pulls out his fingers and let's go of my pulsing nub, even pulling his cock out of my mouth.

"Sam!" I cry, bucking my hips into the air. "That's for leaving in that fucking dress." he whispers, kneeling down so his face is in front of mine. I huff out some air, pouting when I lose my orgasm.

He grabs my should again and pulls me up, away from the bed. He pushes me towards his desk with a mirror on it, grabbing my neck. " 'm gonna fuck you from behind and you're gonna watch yourself in the mirror, yeah?" "Yes." I answer, leanin forwards, my upper body on his desk now. "Spread your legs." he commands and pushes them apart with his knee.

"Look at that, I don‘t even have to fucking touch your dress, you‘re such a little whore." he spat when he sees my dress isn't covering my ass anymore. A sudden pang hit's me. I look over my shoulder back at him and see him grinning at me, slapping my ass again but this time a lot harder.

I moan when his hand hits my skin, making him smirk even wider. "I should have known you're gonna like that." he pulls my underwear down and positions himself at my entrance. "Beg for it, wanna hear what a little slut you are for me."

"Hm yes your slut only.." I moan and wiggle my hips against him, hoping for some friction. "Please Sam, I need to feel you inside me, please. I've been so good, please." my begging is like music to his ears and before I can see it coming, he pushes inside me with one go.

"Oh fucking hell!" he groans loudly, his mouth wide open and his eyebrows pushed together. "Fuck Sam, I feel you so deep!" I whine, grabbing the edge of the desk. He starts moving his hips, slowly at first and then fast like never before.

The sound of his thrusts, his skin slapping against mine could be heard through the whole house together with our moans and groans. Thank god his Dad is camping.

His right hand finds it way around my throat, squeezing it just lightly to make me feel lightheaded. "Look at yourself." he demands. I bite my lip when I watch him through the mirror. I could see the sweat on his forehead, a few hair strands clinging to it. His eyes are slightly hooded from the pleasure he felt every time my walls massaged his cock just so perfectly.

"So fucking tight I swear If I didn't knew better I would think you're a fucking virgin." I love how dirty his words are, every time. "God, you're milking me." a little whimper leaves his lips when I squeeze my walls around him, the sound going straight to my core, making me clench even more. Like I said before, just a circle of pleasure.

"You know what's the best of it all? At first it was more about fucking his girlfriend, knowing she's coming around my cock. But now I have you all to myself and I'm gonna die before I let anyone else touch you ever again. You're mine now, angel." he pants and Strats to move his hips in a brutal pace now, making me scream out his name.

"Yeah, scream my name so loud the whole fucking neighborhood knows who you belong to, come on." The grip of his hand around my throat get's tighter, making me dizzy but also so soaked.

"I'm gonna fill you up so good until your little cunt is dripping with my cum." I gasp at his words, my walls clenching around him automatically. "Oh you like that baby? Like the idea of me pumping that pussy full with my cum? Shit, you're like a fucking dream. Just as sick and dirty as me." "Sam.. please.." I whine, sobbing at the thought of his words.

"Say it baby, say it, come on. Let me hear it. Fucking let me hear you beg for it." he groans, his cock already throbbing inside of me, ready to bust. "Oh Sammy please, please fill me up. Come inside of me, wanna feel it so bad." I let out a few sobs again, watching him react to my words in the mirror.

His eyes roll back and one of his hands wanders around me, rubbing my clit in circles, adding to the tight feeling in my stomach. "I'm so close.." I whimper, closing my eyes.

"No no no, you're gonna watch yourself come around me." I open my eyes again, feeling tears pooling inside my eyes. I look at the desk beneath me, rocking back and forth, all his school stuff already on the floor. "Sam, please let me come, please."

He lets out a dark laugh and slaps my ass again with much more force than before. "Want me to fill you up real good? Wanna feel my cum dripping down between your pretty thighs? Wanna walk around with my baby inside you? Fuck you would be such a good mommy hm.."

My eyes roll back at his words and the crushing feeling finally explodes inside me, a broken cry leaving my lips when I finally come around him, milking him so good.

"Fuck y-yes oh I'm gonna come. Gonna come in that tight pussy." a whimper leaves him again, adding to the crushing orgasm I have. His grip on my hip and my throat get's tighter, so tight I almost can' breath.

With a loud moan he let's go, spilling his hot seed inside of me. "Shit.." I whimper, feeling him flooding my cunt. When I slowly calm down again, I look over my shoulder, seeing him panting heavily, his chest rosing up and down. He slowly pulls out of me, a little whimper leaving me.

He takes a step back and smirks the he scans my body, his cum running down the inside of my thighs. "Hmm looks so fucking good." He comes closer again and pushes his cum back inside. "Keep it there." he whispers inside my ear, leaving shivers down my spine.

He pulls me back up and hold me when he notices my numb legs. "Don't think I am done with you angel. I said on every fucking surface."

My wide eyes look up at him but only met with his devilish looking ones. "This is gonna be so much fun, angel." he speaks before pushing me against his window, my legs wrapped around his hips.

This is definitely better tan crying after a break up.

Sooooo what do we think? My first Sam Monroe fic 🤝🏻

hope u liked it and thank u for reading! 🖤

My Masterlist

xoxo sarah <3

[vixensbrainrotts]

Ran fucked up

Summary: so you found out that Ran is sorta-kinda using you for information, money and material for Tenjiku and took revenge before the damage was too heavy. Come the time when Ran was supposed to display results, he has some explaining to do…

Tropes: Tenjiku! Arc

Content warnings: none really, this time around its just kinda cracky, implied intentional accidents i guess? Idk let me know if there’s anything

Vixen’s two cents: I saw that prompt and JUMPED on the opportunity cause i had a silly little idea (lets pretend im not writing this in my theory of evolution lecture right now). This is such a funny prompt to me, I hope you enjoy. Prompt taken from @the-cypress-grove - prompt 131 (thank youuuuu) Remember that my requests are open if you have any ideas!

Rindou has never seen his older brother this nervous- actually, this is the first time he’s seen him nervous, ever. The man in question was pacing (to the best of his efforts) restlessly, and it was driving Rin insane. „It‘s your fault, you know?“ Rindou quipped from where he was sitting. „And you’re not fucking helping. Izana is going to rip me apart, if i survive Kakucho that is.“ Ran mutters more to himself than to his brother.

Rolling his eyes, Rindou decides that he has to take control of the situation. „Come on Ran, its best to get it over with fast, perhaps they’ll pity you because of your… state right now.“ Rindou makes his way to the door, shrugging on a cardigan and taking the keys out of the little dish by the door. The look that Ran gives him almost ignites a little bit of pity in Rindou. Almost.

20 minutes later the two of them are standing in front of the place of meeting and Ran is sweating bullets. „Come on..“ Rindou drawled again. Offended, Ran throws him a look „You’re not the one who’s about to get mauled.“ Ran crows in slight pain, but Rindou spared no sympathy, „Your fault.“ Rindou was the first to enter the area donning the heavenly kings‘s presence. He silently greet his colleagues with a curt wave, but felt a little puzzled when he didn’t receive one in return. The confused looks on their faces were almost comedic before Rindou noticed the distinct lack of brother by his side.

Rindou heaved a sigh and half-turns to face the entrance again, gesturing to the door for the Heavenly Kings to see. „He‘s coming, don’t worry.“ He assured and trudged on towards his place.

„Sit down Haitani.“ a sharp voice pierced the air as Izana spoke. A shiver ran down Rindou‘s spine, and all of a sudden he understood his brother‘s fear: Izana was scary as such, and blatantly terrifying when disappointed. Quickly, Rindou took a seat beside Mochi. Silence reigned after that. Not a word was spoken, not a breath was taken whilst they waited for Ran to enter.

Finally the tension broke when Ran walked through the door, his head low and limping slightly. „Were ya roughed up or something?“ Shion was the first to speak. „Well..“ Ran sounded a bit defeated as his voice trailed off, remaining standing at a respectable distance. „You’re here. And late at that.“, Izana‘s voice freezes the air as he speaks, „I hope for your sake that your little project proves to be as useful as you made it sound.“ Ran tries very hard to look anywhere but the Kings, instead trying to make eye-contact with his brother, but Rindou only raises his hands slightly in surrender and shoots him a look that says you brought yourself into this mess, im not gonna help you on this one.

„Do tell Ran. How‘s your little girlfriend doing, hm? Are you treating her well? Is the good service paying off? She give you somethin‘ yet?“ Shion has the gall to poke at Ran, stacking questions on him in a singsong tone. Despite the almost joking nature of the questions, they hang heavy in the air.

„I don’t think she likes me all that much right now.“ Ran finally says.

„What makes you think that?“ Kakucho is the one to speak this time, noticing Izana's annoyance and grasping the reigns of the conversation. Whilst he sounds genuinely concerned, Kakucho‘s half-blind eye does nothing to make Ran feel more comfortable, as he visibly shrinks beneath his gaze.

„She founded out.“ Ran breaks the news in a whisper, and the air around them changes into something much more alive, and much more electric. „What.“ Kakucho‘s voice is loud in stark contrast.

„She hit me with her car.“ Ran shrinks even further into himself when the guys surrounding him laugh. „Clever Girl!“ Shion quips between heaves of laughter, bracing himself against an also-snickering-Mucho who adds „What if it was an accident?“. Ran only shakes his head, face and neck ablaze with red as he puffs himself up against the humiliation. „She looked me dead in the eye and reversed!“ Laughter bounces off the walls once again.

[siddyyyyyyyy]

Imagine Damian with a sunshine reader but they sometimes turn into a whole new person with jay from the kubz scouts humor "I swear if this doesn't work I'll take off ___ headband wipe my ass with it put it back on bird box style and give myself pink eye" 😭

Anyway good night/morning

Don't forget to eat and drink well!!

Strange Kind of Humour

Older!Damian Wayne x Reader

wc: 1.2 K summary: you hate bugs (sorry for the people who love bugs) warnings: lots of bad words. a/n: thank you so much for the request and sorry for the late reply, but this is really funny and had to educate myself on that kubz scouts guy (i watch him regularly now) i couldn't really come up with such creative words, but this is the best i could do. enjoy! (divider)

75% of all animal species are insects, most of them have wings and can fly. However, only some of them look cute and are not some venomous, useless, shit-eating bastards who are trying to get into your stupid tent.

Someone came up with the perfect idea to go camping for two days, to finally relax from everything that‘s been going on. Bruce was very reluctant but eventually got blackmailed into joining, not having any possible way of working since you are all in the middle of the woods, trying to have fun.

Damian invited you to go with him, actually begged you, so he isn‘t alone with all these lunatics, and you‘ve never been more happy to join a trip. He knew you would be happy to join, just hoping the others won‘t make fun of him for being ‚soft‘ for you, or else this small family-trip will end up in a blood bath. So far, it‘s been actually pretty good so far, you had something warm to eat, having grilled together, had something vegetarian for Damian. You talked a lot with Dick and Tim, noticed the funny dynamic between Jason and Tim, befriended Cass, and made fun of Damian together with Duke as he failed to build the tent up three times.

Now, that everyone has tents and sleeping bags, you can all take a rest for the day and sleep. If it weren‘t for the bugs trying to fly in and annoy you both. Damian didn‘t seem to mind much, just curling himself up in his sleeping bag so no one can disturb him. But this is enough.

»I swear to god, if these little shits won‘t stop coming in, I will pull my fucking hairspray and a lighter out and burn this whole fucking forest.«

You mutter under your breath, but Damian caught wind of it. Of course he did, he is laying right beside you. His head shoots out of the sleeping bag, looking at you in the dark.

»How about we don‘t?«

Damian suggest quietly, slightly puzzled on how annoyed you are over such a thing. It‘s just bugs.

»I‘m sure they will leave us alone sooner or later. Just put your sleeping bag over your head.«

he tells you, hoping to soothe you down and hope that you won‘t be disturbed for the night. It‘s just one night, after all.

You huff out and do as told, shifting to put your sleeping bag over your head, curled up like him in his own bag.

zzzz

You want to punch that mosquito right then and there. Normally you would just brush it off and try to get it away, but this won‘t do anything since you are literally in a forest, camping. It only makes sense for bugs and insects to be there.

It‘s silent for a moment before the high-pitched buzzing starts again, already done with this.

»Look, I‘m gonna get this thing, track its whole family down and behead every single one-«

»Okay, how about we relax and open the tent for a moment so it can fly out, hm?«

He finally sits up and wraps his arm around your shoulder to keep you seated in your sleeping bag. No matter how many times you curse and say out-of-pockets things like that, it always surprises him when you do that. It usually happens whenever you are annoyed or upset, and right now he is pretty sure you are exasperated. Which doesn‘t make this any better.

Eventually, he managed to lay you back down to sleep after a few moments, having some annoying buzzing around, but it‘s nothing too bad. You both fell asleep after a while, getting woken up later in the morning by a scream. Damian immediately goes to check, peeking out of the tent and cursing himself for not bringing his katana to the trip.

Looking out, he sees Tim at the small camp fire, holding a stick out at a… racoon? What the hell is a racoon doing here? Don‘t they live somewhere else than.. oh, well.

Damian sighs out, getting out of the tent to help him out.

»Relax, Drake, they don‘t bite… usually.«

Tim looks to Damian briefly before staring back at the racoon wide-eyed, still pointing the stick at the innocent animal that was just curious on what these big people and tents are.

»What do you mean ‚usually‘?!«

Damian finally gets fully out of your tent, keeping his eyes on the racoon while approaching it slowly. He ignores the literal panic radiating off of Tim, gently shooing the animal away, but it just stays on its spot, not budging.

It‘s then, when you wake up, having caught some of the conversation between the brothers. You finally peek out of your tent as well, gasping as you see the racoon. The round, fluffy animal keeps its dark eyes on Damian, just sitting relaxed while your boyfriend is trying to shoo him away.

You didn‘t gaps out of disgust, but out of surprise and awe. There‘s not a lot of days you see a cute racoon, a stubborn at that as well. Sure, it‘s a wild animal, but why does it look so squishy then?

Coming out of the tent, you stand beside Damian, trying to get closer to the animal. Damian tries to get you behind him, but you have none of it.

»You need to step back, this is a wild animal— «

»No! Look how cute he is, I just want to pet him quickly!«

You protest, definitely blind by hthe cuteness of the racoon. Damian huffs out, turning to look at you.

»What are you? Snow white, or something? Just step back, let the poor thing run away.«

You whine in protest, really wanting to pet the racoon still. The small argument wakes the rest up as well, having thought it‘s nothing bad at first, but hearing that you both won‘t stop bickering, it made the others curious.

»What the hell is up with you guys?« Jason grumbles tiredly from his tent, still sitting in it but peeking out. Damian turns his attention to the voice, sighing out in defeat. Eventually, you take the opportunity to get closer to the racoon while Damian distracts himself with Jason, arguing with him now.

You get disappointed as the racoon runs away from you, not havnig been so brave after all. With a small huff, it all falls back to normal, the trip comes back to what they consider normal, eating some breakfast before playing frisbee all together. It turns into a competetive game, everyone including Bruce, trying to catch the frisbee and make the other drop or not even catch it in the first place. It‘s a bit chaotic, but it‘s never not chaotic with them. Not that you complain, you really like their dynamic overall and that they are all so sweet to you, although they do tease Damian a lot whenever he is affection with you.

A bright orange, plastic hits your side, yelping at the sudden collition. Of course someone had to accidently hit you with the frisbee. Duke gasps, immeditialy feeling guilty and really wants to sink into the ground at how embarrassing it is. Especially with how Damian glares at him, looking ready to kill.

»Damn, you trynna get me killed?!« You shout before this could escalate, throwing the frisbee back to him, landing at against his stomach with a grunt.

The tension melts away and you proceed to play the game until one finally wins, making the rest groan in defeat.

a/n: how you enjoyed it!!

[r41nc4ndy]

The first Zip of Beer!

Sorry chat I kinda forgot to write the ff but I‘m here now 😈

This is basically just drunk Edward and Zip

Disclaimer: There will be no romance nor any reader inserts, this is just a silly little FF.

It might be OOC

Also I have no clue on how to write drunk people

CW: mentions of beer and drunk people

—————————————————————

"Zip, what the fuck."

Edward and Oliver stared at Zip in unified bafflement and confusion. They weren’t strangers to beer, but sneaking a huge ass bottle to school? And not even trying to hide it? They had their boundaries themselves! (Claire would disagree.)

"What’s up?"

Zip, seemingly not noticing how it‘s strange she took it with her to school, looked back just as confused.

"Won‘t Miss Circle get angry?"

"Yeah, there‘s NO WAY any of the teachers are gonna let that slide, no matter how much they favor us."

As soon as they said that, Zip understood why they were staring and let out a prolonged 'Oooh'

"Well honestly, that‘s only if you snitch me out, y‘know? But my favorite pookies wouldn’t do that! Riiiiight?"

Zip said, batting her eyelashes.

In response to this, Edward just quietly asked

".. Can I have some?"

To which Zip happily complied and took out a glass from her bag..? How much fits in that bag?! Well, I‘d rather not question it.

Zip then finally started eating her lunch and chugging that Pils down like there was no tomorrow. Didn’t seem to have much of an affect on her. The same couldn’t be said for Edward, though.

"Woooowahhhhhzzz… Zip that’s so funny gimmie more nowww!"

"Yeesh, You’re already drunk? Weak."

"Zip now isn‘t uh.. the time for that. How‘s he supposed to show up to class?"

"Say he got a brain injury."

"He reeks of beer! No way they‘d accept that excuse!"

Zip and Oliver started debating over what to do (Or better said, Oliver trying to come up with an excuse because he felt like having a trouble free day today while Zip didn‘t care too much.), while Edward quietly took Zip‘s bottle to drink more as he took her lack of answer as a yes.

"HEY! That‘s mine! Give it back!"

"Nuh uh!"

Edward held it up as Zip tried to reach it so as to get it back.

"I paid for it with MY money!"

"I gooot to it first!"

"Guys- we‘re at school c‘mon.."

Oliver tried to quietly separate them but failed miserably. He could only watched as they fell off the cafeteria bank and started struggling on the floor, occasionally interrupted by things like 'Gimmie that!', 'That‘s mine!' Or anything of the sort.

At that point, Oliver decided he gave up and got up, wanting to go to his amazing girlfriend, but instead got stopped by a familiar sight.

"M-Miss Circle! What‘s the best math teacher doing here?"

Oliver rather loudly said, trying to get the attention of Zip and Edward, but to no avail as the kept fighting for the beer.

In response to this, Miss Circle walked up and picked the two up.

"I think that Miss Grace would like to see you both."

Both Zip and Edward immediately stopped, staring up at Miss Circle as they were dragged away, leaving the forgotten bottle and Oliver standing there.

".. Losers. Totally forgot about it."

*He picked it up and was gonna drink from it, but only got a hand placed on his shoulder.*

"And I‘ll be confiscating that."

"Awh shucks. :["

———————————

This was my first FF and NOT HC! I Hope you guys liked it!

[silentiumdelirium]

Part 1 | Part 2

***

It‘s Dustin. Of course it is. This kid has been cockblocking him since he met him. Although Dustin hadn‘t really cockedblocked him right now had he? I mean Steve didn‘t want to go any further with Eddie, the kiss was just an experiment right? And well the feeling he just had was proof to his theorey, that it doesn‘t matter who‘s gender it is, kissing is kissing. And Steve likes kissing so of course it also felt good with Eddie. He apparently also likes when someone grabs his ass which he hadn‘t know until yet. No girl has ever done that. Also if Dustins knocking hadn‘t interrupted him he would‘ve kept kissing Eddie. But that doesn‘t mean anything it just proofs that Eddie is a good kisser and his mouth is like any mouth right? Oh god why has Steve done this? He feels like he hadn‘t proofed anything to Robin but maybe she has to him?

‚Steve?‘ He lifts his head from his hand and looks up to see Dustin‘s excited face. ‚Oh my god you guys keep hanging out without me! I told you you have to invite me next time‘ Dustin screams and Steve rolls his eyes. He has been a bit clingy since the whole upside down thing happenend again which is probably fair because Eddie almost died in his arms.

‚Nightmare 3 is finally out on video so we‘re gonna make a horror movie night! And i‘m just here to invite Eddie and oh Steve can we use your house? You‘re obviously also invited!‘

‚Oh thank you what an honor to be invited to a movie night which also happens at my house. I guess I also have to provide the movies since I work at the video store?‘

‚Yes exactly thank you‘ Dustins grins ignoring Steve‘s sarcastic tone.

Eddie grins as well. ‚well thank you for inviting me kid! I would be honored to join.‘

Steve rolls his eyes and puts his hand to his hips in the typical babysitter (or mum like Max always says) way.

‚But I‘m not gonna give them to you if they‘re too dark okay? You lot already have enough stuff to fill your nightmares with we don‘t have to add more!‘

Dustin groans and says: ,Relax Steve it‘s not that dark it‘s funny and we‘re sixteen now so we are legally allowed to watch it!‘

Right Steve forgot that they are already fucking sixteen now! Soon they‘re gonna go to party, drink, smoke weed…wait maybe they already doing that? Oh my god what if Eddie and the whole hellfire club is bad influence? I mean Eddie sells drugs so what if he also solds to Dustin and the others? He had to ask Eddie as soon as they were alone again. But as long as they are doing stuff at Steve‘s house he could at least watch them not do anything too stupid.

‚Alright alright you can do your stupid horrormovie night at my house but you have to provide the snacks and everything, I will only provide the videos.‘

‚Yes!‘ Dustins screams triumphant and high fives Eddie. ‚Can you also drive me to Mike now Steve? I mean you have to drive to work anyway right?‘ Dustin asks and Steve looks at his watch. Right work he had to go now so he wouldn‘t be late. He sighs ‚Jesus alright but hurry up don‘t want to be late again!‘ Dustin is already half out the door when Steve looks to Eddie who is standing at the kitchen counter again. Right where they were kissing just minutes ago. ‚Right so I see you tomorrow?‘ Steve asks suddenly very uncomfortable with the whole sitaution. Eddie smiles nervously and avoids looking at him. ‚Sure man see ya.‘ Steve grabs his jackets and moves to the door with one final glance to Eddie who is fidgeting with his rings. Steve tries not to think about how those hands with the rings had felt on his ass and quickly leaves out the door. He definitely has to discuss what just happenend with Robin!

***

Yay managed to write a next part so now you know who‘s at the door @stevesbipanic also you‘re username fits very well here because Steve Bi panic is incoming!!!

[evvlevie]

Evies toolbox: the easiest shifting method I can think of for people who need instructions 🧰❣️

Hi Besties! It‘s your favorite Shifting Blogger Evie again and today I am gonna teach you how to shift the easiest way I can think of, that also doesn’t require visualization.❗️Disclaimer: under no circumstances do I claim that I am the creator of this method, or that this is something original or never done before. This is simply an instructional post aimed at people who struggle with manifestations and love to be told what to do, because they have struggle using the laws. Do not refer to this as „Evies Method“ or anything in the future, I do not want to be accused of stealing methods or anything 🫶🏻. ❗️

♥️ INTRO ♥️ I am a Virgo. If there is anything I love, it‘s following rules, laws, instructions and being told very clearly how things are supposed to be done. As somebody who has been on shift-tumblr for a while I noticed that instructional posts are very rarely given, and I know why, I mean manifestations or shifting is nothing that a certain recipe can get you 100%, because it‘s a mindset-thing not a doing-thing. But I can relate to people just wanting a clear picture instead of a vague idea of how things should be done. So I will decided to give you the instructional post you have been looking for, based on how basic manifestation works to keep it light and breezy and to get you to the mindset that achieves things.

♥️ HERE IS WHAT TO DO ♥️

realize and accept that whatever you want will never be out of reach. Stop pressing on the idea that in order to get things there is something that needs to be done. That’s incorrect. You simply need to desire it. That’s how manifestation works.

Decide that you succeed at every shifting attempt. Law of assumption ➡️ Whatever you assume to be true is true.

Since the law is a law: 🎊congratulations! 🎊 You now succeed at every shifting attempt. Be happy about it, feel the way a person that shifts every time they try would feel. Walk around your house with pride of the best shifter the universe has ever seen. Jump up and down, smile until your face hurts and embrace it. Listen to Ariana Grandes „just like magic“ like someone who can relate, because you in fact, can relate. Don‘t be afraid to accept your assumptions. The law never fails. You are now a master-shifter, here is your medal: 🥇😽💋

When doubts aka the old version of you comes through saying „you are such a fool for thinking that, after all that failure you have achieved, that will never work, it’s way too easy and you are stupid for falling for that“. Take a moment and actively decide to take away significance from these thoughts. Remind yourself through affirmations: „oops! Silly me! That was the old version of me! I know that’s not true because literally every time I try I succeed! Haha how funny I used to think that way, anyways imma go back to being fucking amazing at shifting, don‘t know who let that old me back into my head.“

what to do when you think like that, but seem to fail at your attempts: persist. You tried waking up at Hogwarts and woke up in your CR? No biggie. You have not been proven wrong today. Your assumptions are still true, and you are still the best shifter of the 21st Century. The 3D- reality is only reflecting your thoughts. If you keep persisting that, yes, you are so good at shifting you succeed every fucking time you try, then nobody can take that away from you. Fuck whatever the 3D is. You‘re the most talented shifter that walks the earth right now, I am so jealous even, so no. Treat the 3D like the fucking internet, don‘t believe just because you see it.

🌟🌞BONUS-QUEST FOR EXTRA MOTIVATED SHIFTERS🌞🌟If you do not have Aphantasia also known as the inability to create images in your head, you have qualified for an extracurricular step 👀🙀😼. Whenever you daydream about your DR, like when you imagine certain things you want to happen for the time you spend in the other reality, feel everything as if you are already in these scenes. Thoughts manifest. So when you imagine your desired scenarios, imagine them as a guarantee to experience them and enjoy the little scene as intensely as you can. Instead of thinking „omg hopefully I get to experience that soon“, think „yes, I am so glad that I get to experience this, thank fuck i Shift every time I try, it‘s the best ever!“

♥️ WHY IS THIS GOING TO WORK? ♥️ Because what ever you assume to be true is true. I know that we might have some sceptics reading this, and I am going to give an explanation on why this is going to work regardless if you believe in its legitimacy. The thing you are practicing with the persistence and affirmation-reminders is classic conditioning your mind and subconscious. Your subconscious does not know the difference between what is fake and what is real. It only knows what you tell it. It also doesn’t know the difference between a joke and the truth. That’s why you can gain confidence if you pretend to be confident. That’s why you will get a foot-fetish if you constantly joke about being a foot-fetishist and so on and so on. So yes. It will work. As long as you persist and keep your mindset right, this can not fail. The law never fails anyway, so there is no reason to be afraid. Also: your thoughts is what manifests. You think you can never fail shifting ➡️ You never fail shifting.

♥️ OUTRO ♥️ I am not going to take credit for anything of this because this is all based on the countless posts of loa/shifting bloggers and it would be wrong to pretend that I came up with anything of this. All I simply did was summarize all the information you all can find yourself on here, to make it easier for you to understand how to apply the law correctly to achieve the things you want to achieve. This „method“ can be modified to your liking depending on what affirmations you want to use. You can change „I shift every time I try“ with „I always wake up in my DR“ or „I am in my DR“ I tried using the last one for a long time and I struggled with it the hardest. Other than that, you are always welcome to use whatever affirmations you can come up with. If there is ANYTHING I can help you with you can send me an ask, I love to reply to those, and last but not least: there is no reason to doubt yourself (🥇 here is your medal remember?). Sincerely:

yours in every reality

Evie 🫶🏻

[magebastard]

in the next one, will you find me

ship: agent lane wheatley x agent mason

rating: g

wc: 469

warnings: plotless and also sort of memory loss discussion, very vague book 3 spoilers kind of

notes: back at it and im very very rusty

Though it isn’t their business, Lane doesn’t like it one bit.

That Mason could live the breadth of his life, experience fullness and joy and relinquish it all—every quiet memory.

It’s not Lane’s business. It’s for Mason’s protection and well-being. It’s for the best. And yet.

Lane frowns. Who would they be? Without the lighthouse and the music? Without their home?Without their grief?

They won’t ask him about it. What could they say?

Do you ever regret it? Can you feel the absence of yourself? Do you miss the unnameable parts of you?

It’s horrible to wonder. They’ve spectated at his pain. They have a sense of the horror he is defending against. It feels selfish to want—

Lane cannot ask him. They can deny that ache in themselves, at least. And yet.

I didn’t even know you and I miss you. I can imagine you, spade in hand, burying yourself and it hurts to lose you.

They trace an index finger over his temple, now, and back through the softness of his hair. Mason lets out a breath. His eyes crack open in search of their own. “What?” Lowly, without accusation. Lane swipes a thumb between dark brows, soothing.

“I think about you too much.” It‘s meant to be a joke. Something light to loosen the tack in their chest. It doesn’t sound like one. Mason covers their hand with his. His head turns in their lap. In the darkened sitting room of the warehouse at midnight, Lane may as well be holding their heart out for him in the center of the town square for friends and strangers alike to see. It feels public. Raw and understood. He snorts—laughing in a way that’s kind and cruel enough to be funny. Lane laughs too.

“I want to remember everything about you, you know?” It’s not supposed to sound so heavy in their mouth. Mason does and doesn’t know. Some trace of a smile keeps his lips twitching up.

They’re amusing him.

“Just in case I want to wipe it all away again?” He says it and something hot with sharp hands writhes in Lane’s gut. It’s enough for Mason to feel the squeeze in her chest. Too much. He sits up, loosing the hands from his hair. His fingers find the notch of their trembling chin.

“Hey.”

Lane swallows.

“Yeah?” Too quiet, too uneasy to be fine.

“I’m not ever gonna forget about you, sweetheart.”

And, fuck, that is and isn’t the issue but-

Lane folds their hand over his.

“You remember me and I’ll remember you. Deal?”

He tips their head back. Mason doesn’t know if they can see him in the pitch darkness. If they can feel the way ease and relief race over his skin. He can’t name what brightens his eyes, swimming over their soft, tired face. His lips press, unhurried, over Lane’s pliant mouth. They know, of course.

“Deal,” Mason eventually says, soft on a sigh of unneeded breath.

[found-wings]

aaaaaa codebreakers have my heart- rewatching the vod where the french-speakers first joined and oh my god etoiles literally has my heart omg so I'm at 2:46:30 rn and I just hear etoiles going "hello philza :D !!" and trying to get his attention and asking if he likes to explore and phil saying he does but he'd have to bring his kids, one of which (chayanne) who's been trying to get their attention for like a couple mins now and etoiles sees the sign asking who he is and says he is a warrior and explorer and wants armor to be able to protect them and i just AAAAAAAAAAAA HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN JUST SUCH A KIND SOUL TOWARDS THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCHHHHHHHH IM ACTUALLY GONNA EXPLODE

on a less sweet but more funny note, he also talks to baghera about socializing and that he's gonna go explore and runs off (note : wearing just a diamond helmet) and baghera just tells phil that he's going to explore alone and that hes going to die and she'll watch while drinking a cocktail and then returned like 2 mins later in 3/4ths diamond with an iron chestplate from ramon LMAOOOO

and i am holding 2:51:03 very close to my heart as its the first time they ever did one of their dumb little sparring sessions from etoiles boosting him up the waterfall 😭😭 they then start running around shouting nonsense before they start beating the shit out of each other and etoiles profusely apologises for breaking the potato farm after shoving phil onto it and after like 5 mins of waiting for pomme he just goes "philza philza !!! do you want to see me mlg ??" and tosses himself off the wall (successfully mlgs tho W) omg the sillies I want to squeeze them like stress ball

also also extra minor thing but when etoiles got the paraglider he was like "oh its like zelda !!" and I just love whenever someone new joins the island bc there's always at least one person in each group whos played botw and every single time someones hyped abt the zelda mod 😭😭 anyway no clue why i choose here to rant abt it but i needed to get codebreaker thoughts out and here was the best place (￣▽￣*)ゞ - 💿

God I really need to rewatch the vod of them first arriving, I love them both so much RAAAH

Etoiles wanting to protect people from the literal start since he has been on the island has my heart, just wanting to protect everyone and help them as much as he can - he‘s so <333 RAH

Also I deffo need to rewatch the vod purely because of the first silly sparring session. Sometimes they both share a single braincell, especially when doing the random, silly fights and I‘m absolutely living for it WHEEZE

They are not each others impulse control, they nudge each other’s impulses on most of the time in the silliest ways sometimes and support the other through it 100%. It‘s either all or nothing AJAJJA

Also so true on the Zelda bit - there‘s always at least one person who‘s hyped about the mod

Hell I don‘t even play Zelda but I was hella hyped about the mod AJAKAJ

[missingn000]

what are your thoughts on mahito?

...oh boy.

i'm sorry, but i love him. it took me about a year and a half to reach this conclusion -- i once hated his guts too, and i don't at all blame anyone who loathes him. y'all are totally valid. he's so, so hateable.

defending myself below cut. i have good reasons, i promise.

so why did i change my mind? okay. he's just so interesting. he's one of the most well-written villains i've ever encountered in media. it's hard to write an "evil just for fun" villain and make them compelling, but with mahito, gege absolutely succeeded. there are layers to it, in a way i've never seen written before.

he truly united almost the entire fandom against him. he fucked up so much in the story: junpei, mechamaru, nanami, nobara. his impact was insane. even beyond named characters, no body count even scratches his. towards the end, he was so brokenly powerful. i don't think kenjaku could've hoped to take him in if he weren't basically on the brink of death. even his final words are lashing out at his own ally, saying he always knew the end. yet he still did everything anyway.

honestly, as always, i'll keep most of my negative opinions to myself, but i really think every other jjk villain since shibuya looks like a joke next to him. he's my favorite jjk villain by so much it's almost funny. even sukuna and kenjaku don't reach his level for me. 

sure, their impact on the story has obviously been pivotal. i've definitely had some strong emotional reactions to things they've done, but i want to see more emotions from them. what have we seen from sukuna? pretty much just rage, annoyance, and cruelty? uh, okay. and kenjaku has never shown anything more than vaguely amused indifference. he just can't incite an emotional reaction from me with that. what are their motives? what are their ideals?

yeah, i'm sure i'm missing a lot of themes or whatever with them, but i really don't flip over sukuna (hopefully that'll change...) and i never want to think about kenjaku more than i absolutely have to.

in contrast, mahito's emotions are so human, so complex. he has the widest range of emotion of any jjk villain. mahito's ideals are concise and an incredible foil for yuuji's. take this speech of his in shibuya:

"I bet you thought you were gonna do some pest control! Or ghost exterminations like in some make-believe story! You came to Shibuya with half-assed determination didn‘t ya?! How naive, you stupid brat! This is war! Not a battle to fix what‘s wrong! But a clash of truths! You and your fragile justice! You are me, Yuuji Itadori! I kill without a second thought, just like you save people without a second thought! The instincts of a curse against the so-called dignity obtained by human reason! It‘s a battle to determine who will be left standing in a hundred years! How the hell did you think you were gonna beat me when you don‘t even realize that? Tell me, Yuuji Itadori, have you ever stopped to count how many curses you‘ve killed? No, right? Me neither, me neither!"

this is insane. are you kidding me? are you kidding me. this is so fucking metal. he studies humans because they fascinate him: he reads books, watches movies, familiarizes himself with folklore and religions. yet despite that, he still sees humans as having no worth. their lives mean nothing to him. but his fixation on yuuji, his cognizance of their nature as character foils, proves how much grasp he has on human emotional depth.

i wish there was a better word for it, but he cared about yuuji: obviously not in the traditional positive, warm, affectionate sense, but in that he viewed yuuji as important to himself, his own ideals, and his own growth. if given more time, i think his emotional range towards humans could have become even wider.

conversely, as it stands at the end, curses do have worth to him. he helps a wounded hanami back to the base. this incredible post talks about how jogo is almost a father figure to him (and it's great mahito meta, too). i wish what that meta writer talked about came true. he left the story far, far too soon. i miss him so goddamn much. there's a gaping hole in the cast now that no other character can hope to fill.

i honestly can't wait to write more of him. tpg mahito's arc is literally insane, and honestly one of my favorites in the entire story. i seriously can't wait. i'd never try to make anyone like or root for him -- he's a villain, and always will be. but i want people to feel compelled in the same way i do. i'm missing so much in this analysis; i feel like i've barely scratched the surface.

mahito. his name means true human, by the way. if you think i'm not going to explore every aspect of that, you're in for a wild ride.

[iamthecomet]

And hoot again :D

Yeah, you’re very right (both with so quickly depending on it being overwhelming and with it showing how much I needed it)

The trip to therapy went quite well! The bus wasn‘t overly full on both ways, so I could sit down which was really good. I‘m still nervous for the first time that I’ll sit down on the floor if all seats are taken (it would be safer and better for me, but before I was always too scared to do that. Now that I have a cane that makes it sort of visible that I have trouble walking/standing, I want to try to do it).

I have suspected that I have hypermobile joints for a while (the problem is that I’m not in enough pain to really struggle so much that it would really be worth seeing a doctor for, but I’ll mention it when I got my next appointment). Part of the problem is my bad memory, because due to that I honestly can‘t even remember if I’m in pain (I know stuff constantly and quickly starts hurting but that’s probably normal in most cases and I also have a really high pain tolerance).

My body can do things it‘s apparently not supposed to do though

But I feel it with the cane, cause my wrist always sort of wobbles cause it’s really not stable. So I tried applying tape today, but only went to the very near grocery store that takes like a minute to walk to. So I don’t really know how much it has helped yet regarding walking with the cane. I do feel more comfortable though, and I think it‘s also helping me with writing and drawing

(On the video I watched the guy explained what the hypermobile thing in that hand he was showing it on is exactly, what it would look like if it wasn‘t hypermobile and what the tape is gonna do. And my thumb has the exact position that is a result of the joint being hypermobile (so like my suspicion doesn’t seem to be too wrong)

Since noon I had a really really bad headache that felt like my skull was split open and my brain crushed. So really not nice. I took 1,5 ibuprofen and later one paracetamol but nothing helped.

Then I tested myself cause I remembered that the only time I had such a bad headache was when I had COVID and boom! Positive

So yeah. I‘ll stay in bed tomorrow (and my head hurts so fucking much. I hate it)

I‘ll send you pics when the order gets here if you want! :D

But two pairs of Doc Martens sounds very nice!

A really sweet and funny story:

A friend of mine asked me to explain Ghost (as in, explain everything).

Three days ago I sent a video of like a few clips of Jutty, one of which being this clip in which he is like “unfollowing is bullying“ and “wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨“

And since then, we‘ve constantly been sending “wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨” back and forth (then we started to send the clip as a only one time viewable video so it wouldn’t be visible beforehand).

Today, I cut off the beginning of an edit and put that clip behind that to hide it and sent it to them. They have also hidden it in a poll on WhatsApp already

It turned into a game and we can‘t stop laughing about it because it‘s so fucking silly xD (it‘s practically like Rick-rolling)

wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨

(You just got wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨-ed. You‘re welcome xD)

~ @owlishanon

I'm glad it's still going well! It's good that it gives you so much peace of mind and that you feel confident doing what you need to do now without worrying that something awful is going to happen. But I'm so sorry that you have COVID! It's rotten. I hope you get lots of rest and your headache doesn't last too long. Sleep and drink lots of water! You can definitely send me pictures of the stuff you get when it comes in! I always love to see people's hauls! I am very excited about my docs. I paid $140 for both pairs, which is like half of one what one of them costs brand new. I feel VERY lucky about it. One pair is rusty orange suede, they're short boots. Great for every day. The other are standard black knee highs which have been my dream boots since, like, forever (I've owed many, many pairs of knee high lace-up boots, but none of them were Docs). The wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨 thing has me giggling. Thank you for that. What a great joke to have with your friends, seriously. Fucking Jutty. He kills me in the best ways.

[robcognitivepersonality]

The Mastermind & the Protector

How I get along with ISFJs as an INTJ

Space Cadet. That’s what you call me. And if I remember correctly, it’s because I’m spacey. I didn’t know what ‘spacey’ meant at first, but I figure it’s how I seem to be living in my own world up in the clouds. Well, in space. Fair. A lot of that space is empty too, I honestly don’t know what’s going on in my head. It does feel like there’s a lot going on though. I’m like Homer Simpson thinking of a monkey playing cymbals. Except the monkey isn’t doing anything, and I’m not doing any thinking… I guess Homer and I have a lot in common, come to think of it. There’s background music though, techno and anime BGM as you might guess.

‘Cadet’ though. Yes, I like that. A young budding military on duty adhering to an order he believes in. In uniform too. Bet I look hot in it. Holding myself to a high standard (whatever that means but everyone admires it). Acquiring a very particular sets of skills. Skills that make me a badass and respected across the land. I wield three swords. I don’t sleep, I wait. I am a space cadet and the next Hokage. You best believe it.

As I googled ‘Space cadet’ for writing this blog, I very recently learned that it’s a derogatory slang for one who deals with reality in a way consistent with being under the influence of (or “spaced out on”) drugs. One who forgets, daydreams, or otherwise is distracted from reality more often than most. Damn, did you know that? Wait — have you known that?? Were you ever gonna tell me?? You think I’m a flaky, lightheaded, forgetful person?? So I’m not a hot future Hokage with very particular sets of skills? All of that time together, I sat by you when you wanted company during your alone time. I listened to you blabbering on about work and family drama. I kept in all the dirt you’ve been so proud of digging out of others. I pretended to be friends with people you sent me out to get a read on. We were the dynamic duo. We were the best friends sitting in jail saying “Damn that was fun.” Fucking space cadet??

You know what? I don’t need you. I don’t even realize when you’re around. I tune out when you gossip about whatever I don’t give a shit. I keep dirty secrets because I know I’ll forget them. Don’t care! And those people are actually cool, okay. That’s how I get free blunts. Our relationship isn’t real. It never was, nothing is. Existence is arbitrary. Time is a circle. We survive and reproduce to keep the show going. The show that is consciousness reflecting itself through us as separate beings. Why would it emerge into lowly meat bags like us? It‘s caused nothing but loneliness and suffering. I don’t know, dude. I don’t know what makes you think I’m a space cadet.

Meh. Forget all I said. You know we’re still buddies.

I’m just so used to you telling it like it is. Like that’s cool, it’s great. Sometimes, you’re funny with it. Sometimes, it’s like doomsday is coming. Even then, you still make it sound kinda funny. There’s that mix of dry and observational sarcasm that only you and a number of other ISFJs know how to artfully slide into the conversation. It soothes me, it’s listenable. No matter how brutally honest, you’re not forcing it down my throat. You’re not trying hard to make a point. Truth just is, it’s not there to hurt anyone. Water’s wet and fire burns. If someone has a problem with that, they can’t be helped. Like I’m not gonna fight it. I know I’m spacey, so what?

That’s the thing that’s wrongfully misunderstood by the MBTI community. They think of you as this people-pleasing Mom carrying a tray of cupcakes who gets stepped on for the sake of harmony. That’s false. From what I’ve seen when things get *disharmonious*, when someone is throwing a tantrum or crying a river, you get the hell out of the way! Can’t get stepped on if you’re not in the way! Peace and harmony? More like peace the fuck out. In fact, you’re pretty good at not being part of any problem. Many times you end up standing next to me, enjoying the circus that’s happening with some buttery popcorn.

Things can get really spicy and emotional, and you don’t get caught up in it. Of course you’d help if the situation really matters. That’s just being a decent person. When you give advice, you don’t beat around the bush. A lot of the time, it’s just common sense. That can be such a weird concept to many, but you actually have a good idea of it. You’re a truth bearer setting people free, in theory. Again in theory, truth in itself doesn’t hurt anyone. What matters is how it’s interpreted. It’s how it reflects on the human beings involved. It’s how the information is received, and how people follow through with it. And I believe out of all the types, ISFJs are the best at delivering the message.

Maybe you picked up on this, so you’re tailoring your communications with me. It’s gotta be thanks to my laidback and no-nonsense personality, you get to drop that Fe veil down and talk straight with me. I don’t know, I’ll just take the credit. And you get to give your honest opinion about my shenanigans without repercussions. Yes, that porn stache never looked good, nor were any of my hairstyles. I don’t care. Getting a raw reaction from you made it all worth it. I’m at peace with you thinking that whatever I do is a bad idea. And with Extraverted Intuition-Extraverted Feeling, you’ve looked at how things turned out for others. So that critique of yours might be valid… and I’m gonna try to disprove you anyway. Between us, we know it’s all shits and giggles.

Sometimes brutal honesty is needed, sometimes diplomacy is. Sometimes it’s just not worth it, and best to let the world burn. Whichever way is most beneficial in the long run depends on the context. I know you’ll do your hardest to be as sincere as you can, unlike some folks who get off from delivering the brutality and not the honesty. Many times over we’ve made poor decisions because we jumped to conclusions missing critical information. You have the panoramic view to properly assess the full situation. What are the factors and who are the characters? How does this situation fit in the grand scheme of things? What are the ripple effects of these actions? What can be done for the betterment of the community? We’re messy conscious beings. We end up in messy spots. Your worldly curiosity gives you the power to help.

NeFe is what fuels that curiosity. Our lives are intertwined in this reality tapestry, and you like seeing where each of our threads came from and where they’re heading to. You want to see how this whole mesh looks like, its colors, structures, and material. You observe all of this from afar. Like literally physically taking a step back, standing in the far corner to see the whole thing without your shadow in the way. You want to see how it could all be better fabricated, how its kinks could be ironed out, and how you could be part of influencing the making of it.

"My mode as a writer is to layer different perspectives: the scientific, the philosophical, the political, the journalistic. When you layer them you get a really wholesome, interesting picture." - Michael Pollan

This mess that is society, in my opinion, is a circus. It’s a playground where I was given one chance to play. I’m promised a big prize at the end after I go on these adventures experiencing all that this playground has to offer. So yes, I too observe that same mesh standing at the far corner. We share the same view. We’re both in the shadows ninja-lurking and scanning what’s going on out there. It’s how we know what’s common sense. We join various subreddits, pick up random interests, build a network. For myself, I’d like to have an idea of how to navigate myself around. With Introverted Intuition-Introverted Feeling, I see myself as one of those threads. I foresee where they go, so I can choose one I like.

I’m the main character in my own a video game where I get to choose to do side quests. Being an INTJ makes me an introvert that FOMOs. “Why FOMO in the first place? Look at you. Every month you come with a new bruise, a band aid, or a gauze pad. How are you not dead yet?” I recall you asking. I’m a lone wolf on his hero’s journey. When it comes to people, I just want to know if they wanna tag along on my journey. At best, they become part of my pirate crew. At worst, respectfully, we don’t have to waste our time. It’s just potential drama I don’t need, ya know?

Well, no. You don’t know. You live for the damn drama. You’re always eavesdropping in conservations! Basking in the juicy dirt. Secretly wishing the beef escalates. You just love being in the know; bonus point if nobody knows you are. To you, life is like trashy TV. Literally Reality TV, it’s more than guilty pleasure. Yeah, about that whole curiosity thing and the power to help society I mentioned above…I’m not kidding. You wanna stay current with Internet beefs, and the latest on so-and-so just so you can be a step ahead of them.

It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, especially in the office. Word gets around, so I should appreciate that you’re willing to spill the beans to me. So thank you for filling me in. I’ll be honest though, most rumors you’ve shared to me I’ve barely paid attention. I don’t care much about being in the know, except that it gets me on my moral high horse. I’m too good for it. No way I’m not gonna stoop down to the same level as those people. Especially Karen. I’ll tell ya what, that bitch had it coming.

OK fine. Not all of you are into gossip. There’s an infinite variety of ways you like to spend your time, most of them are things anyone can easily pick up, are logistically feasible, and doesn’t require insane dedication. It’s funny that the community calls you boring, when I’m kinda thinking you’re actually the one that gets bored easily. It’s not FOMO. We’re not doing anything life changing (or threatening) here. It’s whatever enables you to, uhh, unpretentiously nerd and geek out. Be it playing video games, building crafts, etymology, cooking, music, psychology, read books and comics, the history of bread, the list goes on. That includes vibing with friends, spotting plot holes, and laugh at ironies. If I can try to encapsulate who you are, you’re someone who understands life isn’t simple, yet low-key follows a cheesy basic mantra.

That kind of approach makes you really good at giving life advice. You listen first and know how to mediate. You’re like a social engineer or a casual psychoanalyzer. You’re objective and look out for the big picture. These are your gifts. You find what makes sense out of the nonsense. Real magic is discovering how the magic trick is done. Introverted Sensing-Introverted Thinking breaks problems down to the fundamentals and offers suggestions. It examines the situation from square one and excavates out until it finds how things started turning sour. It checks how things add up and come together. You analyze it all down to the nuts and bolts to develop comprehensive longterm solutions before anyone realizes there’s a problem.

Everyone carries their own beliefs and perceptions, but we can’t get anywhere if we can’t all agree. As an introvert, you’re not gonna waste your time arguing with people. Instead, you’re building a perspective objectively weighing all the factors. Complex problems require complex solutions. That’s why it takes a lot of thought, and why it’s best to look at problems from afar. The processes, systems, and people involved all deserve thorough fair considerations if we want to really fix things. We need crystal clear understanding of what’s going on before we risk making things worse. It takes time to craft up something helpful. It takes time to verbalize your thoughts effectively. We can applaud those who face issues head on. It’s honorable, but there’s a high risk of cloudy judgement and regress, getting caught up in the moment and lose the big picture.

"Basketball’s so much like life: if something’s going great, you wait a minute, it will change. If something’s going bad, you wait a minute, it will change. So I try to play things on such an even keel, knowing that things are going to change. You take the good with the bad; you don’t get too excited, you don’t get too down and sometimes that’s the hardest thing in the world to do when you’re in the midst of it, but that’s the best way to handle it." - Tim Duncan

All that’s wrong about the ISFJ stereotypes stems from bad understanding of the cognitive functions. Much of the MBTI community project their bad traits onto other types. Also, it doesn’t take many brain cells to figure that personality tests and type descriptions are flawed and incomplete. We can allow to have mental tendencies for efficiency, but we’re more than just one type. We’re complete human beings. Living is a whole brained activity. We can configure our brains to process information through a variety of cognitions which we see most situationally fit — some of us are better at it. Maturity, intelligence, and upbringing matter much more in defining who we are than type.

Let’s say we’re purely our types as INTJ and ISFJ, for simplicity’s sake. We would barely have any overlap in our thought processes since we don’t share any cognitive functions. In other words, our awareness live in very different parts in our brains. We would look at the same thing but interpret it very differently. While there are thousands of thoughts flying across our brains at once, we just can’t be aware of everything in it. To be conscious of all of them takes a high level of mindfulness and meditation. And ain’t nobody got time for that, we’re trying to survive here. We need to respond against danger quickly. We rely on what’s familiar and instinctually act on whatever pops in our minds. And that’s on top of what taints our perceptions such as our personal experiences, hardwired beliefs, cognitive biases, repressed subconscious, and internalized trauma.

We’re in a whole type grip, not just some inferior function grip. The truth is we’re sensors, intuitives, feelers, and thinkers all at once. There’s an infinite combination of ways to experience reality as it’s happening right here and now that our little brains cannot handle. Simplifying reality efficiently, not accurately, has been our surviving strategy as a species. We have evolutionarily developed heuristics and mental habits. For many generations our ancestors have managed to survive relying on certain cognitions that have worked for them. We’ve inherited these and through our own personal growth and neuroplasticity, we’ve developed our own thinking patterns. My cognition happens to most closely resemble that of the INTJ; and ISFJ for yours. We’re just evolutionary products of our environment.

We live in our own simulation. We couldn’t agree what color that dress was, and we fought each other over it! A trigger warning would’ve been appreciated for how that damn picture got us down to our survival instincts. Well at least that’s my take for why some of us take our personality type so seriously. We’ve suffered too much to have our reality questioned. Validating them helps us cope. We want our warped sense of reality to mean something. What we see has to be real. Treating our cognitive functions like they’re superpowers (just to get by) makes us feel a little special. And if we have to, we do a lot of mental gymnastics like calling ourselves rare, misunderstood, and shit on other types.

Equating Introverted Sensing with memory, routine, and nostalgia is too simplistic. At the dominant function, Si is much more dynamic. It’s a high fidelity microscope that looks at the underlying elements to piece together a big picture. Gotta get the basics down to be able to do complex fancy things. Gotta learn how to crawl before you run. Gotta sow the seed right for the tree to blossom. This is an attitude that welcomes growing experiences, opposite of being stuck with the old ways. Si is about developing and progressing. It may take some time especially about subjects you don’t know much about, but you don’t let things stagnate. You’d rather see how they unfold, constantly looking to reconcile with what you know. See what changed and what didn’t, form patterns that’ll fit future possibilities. Often times, you criticize how nonsensical traditions can be.

Think of memory as a recollection of information. It can be any kind of information. Logical, emotional, anecdotal, conceptual, anything. It’s data you need to look inward for. Our minds can only process what they know. Introverts particularly create internal experiences with those recollections, meaning forming new information out of old information. That’s imagination. It’s the product of memory. Introverted Sensing is detailed colorful 4K imagination that you get to experience and re-experience vividly. We have trillion dollar industries focusing on aesthetics because it directly correlates to creating fun experiences. Who doesn’t like fun? Fun truly is found right under your nose, well inside your head technically.

More technically, memory is a past experience that has become an abstract context influencing the present. Me having Introverted Intuition also means I value recalling my memory too. Like you, I look inward for past information. It’s just not detailed information, it’s not even in 240p. Imagine a beautiful Monet painting, but smudged to hell that all the colors blended into an ugly gray-brown that you can’t make anything out of it anymore. That’s me. That’s the explanation of my spaciness. Well I can adjust my antennas and tune my receiver to enjoy some clear pictures in my memories. But it’ll take a while and a lot of focus to filter out the noise. That’s how I introvert, being alone immersed in my head so I can listen and align my emotions at the right frequencies. My goal is to compose, using these frequencies, an internal harmonious symphony. I can scan a wide range, but I have my favorite presets. I may be “whatever” for a lot of things. But for the few things that matter, they matter a whole lot. And for the few things that I remember, I remember every detail. Otherwise for most of the time, the kind of memories I hold are themes, narratives, and trends. The thing is that they don’t change frequently nor vary drastically. There’s a few common nodes and presets that cover all possibilities. Like Christmas. Jesus has almond eyes in Korea and he’s dark skinned in Brazil. Japanese Santa Claus is just Colonel Sanders in a red fuzzy suit. They play “Let it snow” in tropical Singapore and in Australia where December 25th is the first week of summer. No matter where you are, some representation of a bearded old man in a red suit, a tree with white stuff on it, and “Let it snow” is all we need to present the idea of Christmas. And I predict that in 20 years, Christmas is gonna follow those same criteria. Minute details don’t matter. I reflect on my past days, and it all blends into ugly gray-brown. And it’ll be ugly gray-brown in the future. No matter what color tomorrow will bring, it’ll blend into ugly gray-brown. That’s the highly touted power of my Ni.

"This says… 'Bomb.' I don’t know if that is a noun, a verb, or an adjective describing my outfit." - Adrian Mallory, from Space Force

Ask me how my weekend was, I’d shoot out the thousand yard stare. Inside my head, I’m starring at an ugly gray-brown wall doing my best to answer how I feel about it. “Uhh, good.” I mean, I guess my weekend was alright. By then I’ve searched across the very edges of that wall. I’m too spent to evaluate what I want for lunch. Just surprise me. Am I hungry, you ask? Scanning my timeline of when where and how I was hungry and not hungry. Tallying up all of the data, I feel ugly gray-brown again. I do feel lucky that I spent more of my time full than famished. Biology says my body needs food in order to live. So after that round of thorough analysis, my cautious opinion on that matter is: “Uhh, sure.”

It’s shit like this that makes me value routine. I need routine! How did they come up that INTJs are allergic to boring routine? No, this is strategic! Routine is the product of efficiency. Routine is often the most straightforward and effective way to reach my goals. Routine becomes habit, giving me fewer decisions to make and more time in space. Get an INTJ out of their groove and see how irritated they get. I’m focused on something right now. I don’t want to think if I’m hungry, what to eat, and where to go. Just shove the damn calories in me. Get me what I got yesterday, like all the other days before. Killing my vibe, bro. Can’t you see you’re distracting me off my vibe here? I had the frequency and you made me lose it. All of my pairs of socks are black so that I don’t have to waste mental energy in matching them. Nobody’s gonna know, and neither will I. Seriously, who’s the boring one here?

When I get out of the house, it’s phone-wallet-keys. If something distracted me out of that sequence, I’ll forget something and won’t realize until after I walk out and lock the door. Everyday I make my coffee by pouring 60 grams of water heated at 85 degrees Celsius every 45 seconds. I set up my last burger bite where all the meat juice and melted cheese gather down at the toastiest edge piece. I feng shui my day-to-day so I can spend more time at peace with my ugly gray-brown state of mind. I’m just trying to get by and optimize my living experience like everyone else. Everyone has some kind of routine. We all need some sense of structure and control, so we can blissfully play in between. Peace is different for everybody. It’s built, not given. Who cares how boring or exciting that is. If someone doesn’t like how we do things, that’s on them.

The irony about being future-oriented is that my goal is to look forward of looking back. I hope to be gray reminiscing the good old days. I hope to have that moment where I genuinely feel that I did pretty good being a human. I hope to savor my last days imagining the ending credits scrolling up the names of those who influenced me, while playing highlight reels of my most badass moments. Where else will I look by the time I won’t have much to look forward to? I’m already doing this now! Yes I’m nostalgic, and it’s a privilege to be! They’re memories of times I’ll never get back. They’re shining moments in the midst of my ugly gray-brown world. That’s the root of my FOMO. I don’t want my life to look like a whole single uninspiring color. If it’s gonna have to be ugly gray-brown, then I want it to be a blend with millions of colors. I wanna make meaningful memories to tune back into and re-experience all the feels.

Extraverted Feeling is widely misunderstood as reacting to other people’s emotions, discarding the self for the group, and wielding that empathy superpower. Well, I’m highly sensitive of feelings around me. Locking eyes with someone is too invasive. I’m scared of running my own business because of what the Yelpers would say about me. I shut down or do my best to be invisible when I sense bad vibes. Culture and chemistry are important criteria for where I’d like to work. If the social environment is like a puzzle, my Fi is a piece trying to find its place in it. It can even change its form to better fit in. If you’re a social chameleon, I’m a shapeshifter. I figure what mold to model myself into. I’m not so sure about the whole sticking to my values thing. Like I don’t find it right as an American to be pushing my Western beliefs onto other people. When I travel, I pretend as if I actually lived there doing regular stuff. Don’t travel like a local, blend in and live like one. You bet I’d be paying attention to the local culture and traditions. Building my sense of identity is what draws me to the far corners of society and subcultures. It’s a curious case of studying my given existential space. I spend my whole existence trying to fit and thrive. So if I sense my presence isn’t welcomed, it hurts! That’s why I’m a champion for the misfits and misunderstood. Empathy to me is creating an internal experience that closely matches what others are going through using my emotional palette of a million colors. Having worldly knowledge and emotional intuition enables me to get into people’s shoes. That’s what it means for me to understand, by willing to get on the same frequency and share the suffering. I’m not a sociopath. Though sometimes, I can understand someone’s situation but I still don’t see why they’re being little bitches about it. And I can stretch my empathy to very imaginative levels. So if I still can’t emotionally meet where they are, it’s hard to be compassionate. They must be hiding something, they’re not being real with me.

"I prefer to win titles with the team ahead of individual awards or scoring more goals than anyone else. I’m more worried about being a good person than being the best football player in the world. When all this is over, what are you left with? When I retire, I hope I am remembered for being a decent guy." - Lionel Messi

That “F” in ISFJ is about managing social transactions like we’re in some sort of industrial complex of emotions. It’s about behavior governance, not just sensitivity to others’ feelings. It’s the actual moral compass pointing people at the direction of what’s right. Think of adhering to common decency, social contracts, and best practice standards. Or showing how we should treat each other fairly and respectfully, not kissing our little booboos. You too are free to call people out for being little bitches if they don’t meet those standards. It’s not like they’re that high anyway. But you can be really hard on yourselves for being the ones setting the example. Having this function doesn’t automatically make you a sweet guardian angel. You can judge harshly if someone’s being an asshole, and it might be projection if I were to call you out. Or you’re too jaded to even care, and have learned to laugh at the bullshit. Not much of an angel here. Nobody’s getting cookies.

To understand others, you don’t have to experience things for yourself like I do. You can figure it out using your head. Asking questions and tracing connections, formulating an elaborate schema with all that you know about humans. This can be a mix of scientific literature, street smarts, your own experience, and trash TV. Out of that spaghetti mess emerges great insights ready for anybody who wants to listen, I know I do. You know how someone is genuinely smart rather than trying to be smart? Like they take the time to observe and not allow emotions get the better of them. They have a high sense of self-awareness and are great at witty jokes. That’s how I look at you. Unlike that fake two-face stereotype, I find you refreshingly genuine. You understand there’s no silver bullet to life, and that we’re trying our best. You’re not being wishy washy, you’re just honest about not having clearcut solutions for complicated problems. I don’t sense you trying to be something else, you’re real with me. You’re the first to admit you’re not the most qualified. That helps me trust you. That and you being the more logical one out of us two.

That image of you always self-sacrificing for the sake of others is misconstrued too. Actually I find most ISFJs to be pretty self-preserving. Over extending yourself doesn’t add up when you tend to prioritize your own comfort. I get it, I had a Jesus phase too. Again, you just aim to be decent and not making situations bigger shit shows than they already are. Being logical means you don’t let your ego influence your thoughts. Everyone including you will be fairly considered. There’s nobody being put above or below others here. No judgement will be made until logic is sorted. Others follow a personal code. You follow a pragmatic philosophy. Like your own twist of the scientific method that involves memes and assigning nicknames to people you’ve never talked to. You figure what easy adjustments people can do to make their lives better. It’s always the small wins for you if I may add. Shooting for low effort, but making defining effects. Efficiency right?! Or productive laziness?

The point of everything I wrote here is to highlight that I fit the popular ISFJ stereotypes better than you do. Ask my friends, I’m an angel. My heart is so pure. I’m everyone’s big brother. Think a little more, and you can see how you possess some of those leet Mastermind INTJ traits. The ISFJs I know have their futures planned out. They’re in leadership strategizing and moving pawns around to improve chemistry and productivity. They’re big picture logical idealists who are ruthlessly authentic. There’s a lot we can relate here. I hope my described experience above resonates with you in some way. That under the pragmatic cerebral mind, there’s somebody who FOMOs wondering what little adventure they could embark on. We’re each other’s cool side of the pillow. In contrast, I think through about my FOMO ambitions to ensure I can realistically achieve them with practical means.

To answer how I get along with ISFJs as an INTJ, it’s tempting to say that it’s because we wholly compliment each other. And if we allow ourselves to see, we actually have a lot in common. When we realize we’re so much alike, it’s easy to see how you can be so candidly straightforward with me. And how I can be so open to you. We both can drop our respective veils and be our true selves together. We’re both grounded in our own ways. Plus we value the strengths we provide for each other. There’s a yin-yang thing going on. A playful back-and-forth of “be and let be”. The difference hinges on if we think first on our own interest or the community’s. These don’t have to be entrenched dichotomies. Sure a few of us won’t ever see eye to eye. But most of us are aware of our tendencies and strike a healthy balance. And the best of us can merge ourselves as individuals with the collective. We know how to unify both our logical and emotional thoughts, and enjoy both the content and context of our experiences.

I don’t believe I’ve reached that state of one-ness. All I can say is life has been a bitch. I’ve been beaten enough by it to the point I’m now appreciating it. And I feel lucky for it. Now at the age of 38, which puts me at midway realistically, I’m just glad to be at a place where I’ve done all that I’ve set out to do. Younger me would be proud of me, and I hope older me does too. For once I have no idea what future adventure is in store for me. And that’s OK. Actually that’s great. With all of the accomplishments I’ve accrued over the years, I don’t FOMO as much anymore. I’ve chilled out on being so future-oriented reaching my goals. I don’t have to be as much of an INTJ. Really I just stopped giving a shit, like how old people stopped giving a shit. That helped me end my suffering and being more honest with myself. I’m out of survival mode and am happily embracing my ISFJ side. Life’s gotta continue to tenderize my ass anyway. Best way to experience is to relax my butt cheeks and let it work those kinks. I’m looking forward to this stage of my journey. Maybe with this upgraded simulation, the best has yet to come.

Truth is just an agreed and accepted perception. When you think about how we’re trying to form it, it makes sense people would be so invested. It ties in deeply in how we view the world. If Extraverted Feeling was you adhering to social norms, Extraverted Thinking is me adhering to logical norms, or truths as best as we know them. So for me, relaxing my butt cheeks means I’ve learned to not be so anal about the truth. I was taught that Pluto was a planet. Somebody’s gonna disprove Einstein one day. Logical norms change, they progress. What makes sense now will be a mistake in the future. There’s no certainty, only data models and perspectives. That’s how I started to see logic as a means of building one new step at a time for us to walk on and move forward. That’s how truth started to be magical to me. It’s another adventure.

"I’m a human being who cares about my planet, who cares about people, who cares about the reality of our children’s future. The same way I needed a mentor, the same way I needed someone to motivate me, that became my reality. I want to be that source for Merry, I want to be that source for Dewey, who feel like no one can hear or understand them. And all they need is the tools to understand how to be great or either how to apply themselves. I started that effort when I was 16 with the idea that most influential role model for a child is a child." - Usher

Reality around me started to look more fun. The trees, the stars, the animals, people. There’s a math that connects us with one another somehow, whether it’s the global supply chain, evolutionary biology, or food culture. Rather than taking what life has to offer, I’m now appreciating it for what it is; what this puzzle always has been. I mean, a lot of it is just stuff, people, and animals. But it’s really cool. It’s the longest running show, much longer than the Simpsons. And I’m pretty confident One Piece will end before it does. I have so much to catch up. I’ll skip on what’s going on with the Kardashians…But did you know there’s people who’s spatial concept of the future is behind them, and the past in front? That we’re closer relatives with a tuna than a shark is? And guacamole is an anglicized word from an Aztec language that means testicle sauce?

Younger me wouldn’t have spent any time learning about things that didn’t serve his individual goals. I’m still like this now. My goal now is to give back. Building a deeper connection with others by learning about the world has helped me find my place in this reality puzzle. The happy version of myself looks like an old sage ISFJ Protector watching out for his community. Meaning to me is found by investing in the other life threads in this tapestry. I’ll honor those that helped me by paying it forward and help keep the show going. I hope to be a support watching our future unfold as a society. Whatever wisdom I’ve gathered from my experiences, it’s best for someone else to make good use of it. There’s no reason to keep it all in. I’mma start giving out life advices and telling stories of my mistakes. Who knows if it’s actually good wisdom, to be honest. I’m just a dude who has no place to judge for humanity. I’m here for the good vibes and memes.

[uluthrek]

i adore scrolling through anti tags from fandoms i am not part of. it’s so funny. people are so insanely passionate and to me all of it just reads like „yeah, glup shitto is a nazi and an incel and if you ship gluplinko (glup shitto x horse plinko) you‘re a heterophobe and a gay fetishist!“ and the response is gonna be „shut the fuck up, fed, you‘re a white supremacist and a misogynist for that take.“ and someone‘s gonna reblog with „your silence about eeby deeby is very telling, antisemite!“ and someone entirely else is gonna say „oh but fancasting oingo boingo as stanley tucci is racist, the oingo boingo of my headcanon is a a mixed indigenous trans woman with swiss and native american roots and stanley tucci is NOT swiss!“. and then curiosity gets the better of me and i start googling the fandom because, whoa, this sounds super complex, and then i find out it‘s either historical rpf about the fucking rote armee fraktion or some shit or it‘s a splinter fandom made up of a couple of side characters mentioned in the margins of a twenty year old octology (i‘m gonna charitably assume that that‘s a word) and then i think to myself „hm, yeah, this is tumblr, that tracks.“

[nottsangel]

"oh yes kieran, i talked to him as well. he lowkey annoyed me although i don’t exactly know why. just something about him. i also talked to danny and i could not STAND him oh my god. but in the end no one was worse than gee 😭😭😭 i’m definitely gonna play it again when i’m finished and then i’m gonna pick scarlett for sure !!! honestly i wanna try picking all of them. especially autumn’s man just to fuck with her lmaooo. aaaanyway… i just got married !!! with blaze the hot firefighter 🤭"

oh please not gee and danny 😭😭😭 i didn’t like kieran that much as well but he was the only other one i still had next to this nico guy (i don’t remember his name though). but zayid is a sweetie but scarlett has my heart and the first second she admitted her feelings i got so happy for no reason 😭 and i hate autumn so badly i’m sorry but she’s so annoying. those games really play with my heart it‘s not funny

and congrats on your marriage 😏😏

- 🌞

LMAOO gee and danny were something else my god 😭 ooo i’ve heard of nico but i havent talked to him! i also havent talked to zayid before! i’m so excited to reply the entire story and talk to everyone i haven’t talked to before !!!! and scarlett oh my god lemme just tell you that even before she started dropping hints i already fell for her i swear she’s so cute 😭😭 and then it became clear to me that she’s into girls and i became sooo happy my god. autumn is such a bitch i swear i’m gonna reply the game many times to get different endings and for one of them i will only go after the guy that autumn wants. i don’t even care what my heart wants i just wanna be a bitch back to her 😩

i regret saying yes to him 😐 i do not want to marry him 😐 i do not like him anymore 😐 help me 😐

[anotherghoul666]

You said you want anything in your inbox so I’m just gonna tell a little story that’s probably not all that interesting to you but I find it very sweet.

The first roommate I had here in the psych ward (they were absolutely awesome and we’re luckily still in touch) and I skipped small talk all the way, as we are both nd and just fucking hate it. And as I hung up my pics on the wall, we started talking about our interests.

Later, we‘d infodump to each other about our favourite bands, which meant I talked lots about Ghost.

After a while, we had this thing where I’d read fics for them out loud so they could fall asleep to my reading.

And one evening when I made them choose a new fic just by the name of the writer, they immediately chose the fic written by you (yeah, I was talking VERY positively about you haha).

As I said, probably not very interesting for you but i think it‘s sweet.

~owlish anon

WAIT. No, Owlish, this is super interesting and I'm Invested XD First of all, yes to skipping small talk, fuck small talk dude, neurotypicals can keep their shitty mode of communication ok, I want nothing to do with it XD Second of all, how extremely sweet that yall allowed each other to talk about your special interests!! ❤️ Lovely stuff and I'm happy you got to talk about Ghost with them! Third, and that's the real meat and potatoes here, I have to know which fic dude XD Oh my god XD Which fic of mine did you read out loud to someone to help them go to sleep becauseeeeee xD There are many ways this could go and some of them ave very funny hahaha.

But also, dude, thanks so much for speaking of me in a poositive light in your real life, what?! People do that? You're so sweet ❤️ No words, too cute. Thank youuuu aaaaaaaaa