#he’s literally chasing a kid lmaooo

[aolechan]

chino, darling, that’s not how you communicate with a kid 😓

[parkersbliss]

your instagram when dating spencer reid

inspired by @/happiesthotch @/hotchaways :)

Liked by garciagirlie, alexblake and 374 others

ssa(y/n) love his clown feet 🫶🏼

view all 27 comments

spencephd love her baby feet ❤️

rossisrotini I didn’t know they could be nice to each other

→ jjareau she texted me after posting this and said he slam dunked her with a pillow

→ ms_emilyp @/ssa(y/n) use two exclamation points if you need help

→ ssa(y/n) HELP‼️‼️‼️‼️

→ agenthotch wheels up in 20, you heard her

d.morgan oh to see pretty boys feet

→ ssa(y/n) my eyes only 😡😡

→ spencephd im not sure how to feel about this

→ garciagirlie I could get you photos of lots of feet

→ agenthotch I think we need to have a talk about this

→ garciagirlie i meant my feet with fresh new nail polish* 😁

→ agentahotch 😐

liked by therealellew, jjareau and 427 others

ssa(y/n) pov garcia & morgan are on the phone

view all 33 comments

garciagirlie where’s my chocolate thunder

→ d.morgan right here baby girl 😏

→ spencephd we can’t escape them

→ ssa(y/n) but we can do worse ;)

→ ms_emilyp @/agentahotch do something about this

→ agenthotch no

rossisrotini I beg of you both to not become like them

→ spencephd now you’re just tempting us to do worse 🤷‍♂️

→ ssa(y/n) I await those glorious hands of yours, doctor

→ jjareau what have we started

→ ssa(y/n) ITS FOR A MASSAGE CHILL 😭

→ d.morgan could’ve fooled me tbh

liked by itsmattsimmons, d.morgan and 503 others

ssa(y/n) someone didn’t pass the physical fit test

view all 17 comments

d.morgan is he looking for a trainer 👀👀

→ garciagirl no. never again with you.

→ spencephd literally leave

→ jjareau we’re doing just fine without you 😘

ms_emilyp reid looking to outrun his paperwork

→ ssa(y/n) more like reid running to catch some bitches

→ spencephd so I’m chasing after you?

→ ssa(y/n) 😡😡

agenthotch who’s not doing paperwork 🤨

→ rossisrotini exposed like the lazy kids you are

liked by spencephd, agenthotch and 292 others

ssa(y/n) got my bitch <3

view all 19 comments

Spencephd 😐

→ ssa(y/n) notice how you didn’t correct me

→ spencephd can’t even tie her own shoes smh

→ ssa(y/n) LMAOOO that’s what you’re for SIMP

garciagirlie the love birds are at it again

→ jjareau love birds sounds more like enemies these days

→ d.morgan isn’t that the fun in it?

→ ssa(y/n) yes, he literally just threw the shoe at my face 😇

rossisrotini @/agenthotch got another case for ya

→ ms_emilyp that’s the sound of the police reid 🚨

→ spencephd you know statistically, it takes the police an average of 7 minutes to get to the scene. I could be long gone by then.

→ d.morgan I can hear him through my phone

→ spencephd :)

liked by alvarezluke, rossisrotini and 338 others

ssa(y/n) candid of my favorite nerd 🤭

view all 31 comments

spencephd I’ve been exposed 😟

→ ssa(y/n) wanna be exposed in a different way?

d.morgan looks like we got competition @/garciagirlie

→ garciagirlie 😏 been exposed for years to you baby

ms_emilyp 🤢 I’m moving back to london fr

→ jjareau take me with 🙏🏼🙏🏼

→ garciagirlie GIRLS TRIP

→ ssa(y/n) LETS GO

→ ms_emilyp not you ❤️

rossisrotini 🥂 cheers you two but keep it in your pants

→ ssa(y/n) hard to when he’s this fine 😫

→ spencephd actually die

agenthotch this is what we call a hostile work environment

→ d.morgan you weren’t even there for that hotch

→ agentahotch I have my ways

→ garciagirlie please don’t bring back such traumatizing memories

→ jjareau clearly we need to have this conversation again

— END —

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a/n finally got around to writing some criminal minds stuff 😫

[kimbap-r0ll]

Dorm Leaders Meet Villain Counterparts

If my childhood self saw Twst, I feel like she would combust because it's literally two parts of my childhood put together (anime and Disney). But here's something I thought of for Halloween or for some writing in general, hope you enjoy!

Riddle

I feel like he would kind of fangirl, like omg this is literally a Great Seven just standing in front of him!

Is extremely polite, the queen probably likes him because he remembers every rule, every little thing that will get him on his good side.

The two of them probably get along to some extent, though I feel like even if she is kinda bonkers, she would feel a little bad for how he basically had no childhood. Like yeah Riddle's the role-model student and dorm leader, but this kid hasn't had much fun in his life. Might actually be a little more chill with him haha

Overall the two of them are definitely immediate friends and will be a nightmare to Ace and Deuce. I can see these two enjoying tea together while Ace and Deuce have to paint flowers lmaooo

Leona

How does this work? Like a lion meeting a beastman? I feel like Scar would be more confused than Leona like "what is going on this guy's like half me?"

I feel like they wouldn't really have a fangirling moment like Riddle did, but they are definitely chill together. Like Leona might be like "Imma sleep here" and Scar's like "👍" and they don't bother each other. Do I think Scar will try to eat Leona? No. But will he try to eat other students? Maybe

The two totally understand the whole "my-brother-got-all-the-attention" feeling and might bond a bit with that. Not sure what that would look like, but they might complain about how Mufasa/Farena feel too pompous. Oh, and they don't like kids, find them annoying haha

I really have no idea how this would look like since it would look like a lion just standing around in a dorm lobby with a prince just like "yo whattup bro" but I would love to see it!

Azul

Definitely fangirls a little bit, might scare Ursula a tad because he seems to know everything about her? I mean, great at least she's regarding as a "benevolent" person

The two are totally going to plot for someone's demise together and make a fail-proof plan to take over the school. Crowley stops the two from going too far but they have the plan, it might happen any day lol. They definitely talk about their favorite spells and potions for sure

I feel like Ursula would feel kinda bad for Azul too, sort of like Riddle's case. Will remind him to not worry about others since she thinks he's much better than all of the other students. Azul might tear up a bit (the two share a small wholesome moment before going back to business-related stuff)

I feel like it would be kinda fun to see how they would act together. I think they would at first notice each others' scams and then be like "omg great minds think alike" lmaoo

Kalim (feat. Jamil)

Kalim thinks Jafar looks scary, but nonetheless is super hyped to meet him. Will throw a big party and it might cause the sorcerer to be low-key stunned by all of the attention. If Iago's there, he definitely got a biscuit/cracker from Kalim by force

I feel like Jafar will talk more to Jamil than Kalim while he's busy trying to chase Iago down by carpet (please a carpet chase please) mainly because Jafar kinda feels bad for Jamil. Like this guy's had almost the same life as he did, but Jamil is like "nope don't worry I have a plan 😈"

Jamil probably likes Iago because he's always wanted a parrot as a pet, will likely not force a cracker/biscuit which helps Iago warm up to him faster than Kalim.

I think all of these characters could hit it off well, but it's honestly kinda awkward when Jafar's like "I was going to overthrow the sultan" and then Kalim's like "...that lowkey feels familiar but imma let that slide 💀"

Vil

The two are immediately like "you're beautiful queen" "thank you bae" 😭

I literally feel like they would bash their respective rivals while doing skin care together. Like they'll be like "xyz is so annoying" whlie lying down on a couch and the other one is like "fr." Iconic, and definitely all the students can tell the Evil Queen has a regal air about her. Vil doesn't fangirl as much as the others, but he definitely says that he respects her a lot

I think the Evil Queen, as evil as she is, will still feel bad for Vil since she can see how much effort and work he puts into his work. He's a model, an influencer, a dorm leader, all at once and it feels like not a lot of people respect him as much as they should. Definitely tells him that he's doing well

The two of them need to do a collaboration of some kind, and if she happens to help him out on dorm duties one day all of the students are like "oh no it's like 2 Vils at once" lol

Idia

I actually really want to see this, probably will be the funniest interaction because they're almost like polar opposites. Hades is all like "Hades, Lord of the Underworld how'rya doin?" and Idia's like "...eep"

While Hades is around Twisted Wonderland he'll definitely try to raise idia's confidence. Will take him all around campus to get him to talk to people and also to show off his own skills lol. But Hades probably loved watching Idia play video games, like damn why's he so good at rhythm games 💀

Will find Ortho super adorable, but definitely felt really bad about Ortho and Idia's backstory. He may be evil in the Disney version of Greek mythology, but I feel like Hades would still have a bit of a heart to feel bad for Idia, like he's gone through so much in so little time. Probs gave him a hug too

The two of them have definitely tried playing some games together, and whenever the two of them got angry at a boss it was like the room lit up red because of their hair lol. Idia probably thought it was super cool that Hades had similar hair to him, maybe fangirled a little bit about that

Malleus

I feel like the two would have the chillest conversations out of all of them because they just feel like the cool-headed ones. Malleus definitely is respectful towards her, and she is too. Definitely praised him for his magic abilities

The two have bonded over their lack of party invitations, but Malleus is like "oh I've been getting invited to a house tho!" and then boom Yuu has to meet one of the greatest Disney villains of all time while in their pajamas lol

I feel like for sure Maleficent thinks Malleus is a super cool person, might want to meet his mother too just because it might be an interesting interaction. Nonetheless the two of them are super chill. Sebek will want to talk to her too just because she's just so popular

Will Malleus geek out about grotesques and gargoyles to her? Yes. Is it fun for her? Surprisingly so! I feel like even if she's known as the Mistress of Evil, she might like smaller more mundane things like medieval architecture, and it's always fun to hear from Malleus so why not? She has definitely asked Yuu about their life and experiences which might've scared the shit out of them but still haha

[ui-artdump]

February 14 Gift Arts Collection

Happy friendship day with many delays...

For Rosie and Mercie Notes: Lmaooo I was so crazy for them, do you know that I didn't really plan these and my hand just went autopilot? Anyway, Raid had some confidence to kiss Keres? Fr fr?? The Malleutoria is either Malleus chased Victoria and hugged her from behind or they were in an argument and instead of admitting he was wrong he just does that. Nororia is actually insane, Noriko move, it's my turn. /j

For Erin Haha Shadow Twins with Dusty go brrr, He cannot escape them /j I am so sorry for the grayscale Areia x Horace, I didn't have any idea what Horace colors are sobs ANYWAY MOM AND DAD ARE DANCING /J /J

For Ellis Its them. The og, the one who gets the happiness whilst in the 2T1L storyline UiO suffers /hsrs.

For Basil They're so awaawifuaaaaa- I love them so much they are so precious I love these theatre kids 💀. Broken justice x self-imposed justice!!!

For Jas Mitch? Being soft? Mitch? OOC? Wtf is wrong with him (derogatory) HHHHHHH TOMIGATHA THOUGHTS TOMIGATHA THOUGHTS WON OVER MEEEEEEEE AHDSFJKHDJFAHJF I love this gay fish yuri lmao

For Fumi I had a vision of them and I just had to do it. I'm ngl, I kind of want what is happening between Shui and Flynn /j

For Mel Hihi they make me go feral, they are literally so sweet together and genuinely the most unproblematic ship of Feli LMAOOOOO

For Rev Your honor, them. Oh my god. They go all around my head. Shui is going in for the revenge kiss and Feli can't decide if she wants to kiss Charles or not. (we know she likes the taste /j/j/j)

[lovelyraven01]

Dating the Genshin Men HCs

Featuring: Albedo, Ayato, Childe, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Itto, Kaeya, Kazuha, Heizou, Scaramouche, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Zhongli

Warnings: Suggestive themes. Swearing.

This is the most fun I've had writing something in a long time plssssss

Albedo: 

Ur his first s/o so he doesn’t understand affection but tries

The first time you tried holding his hand he got confused and snatched his hand away thinking it was an accident lmaooo 

Weirdly a good kisser

Likes to draw u nakey

Make u coffee or tea or whatever you wanted in the mornings

Has pretty bad insomnia, you gotta drag this man to bed or else he will be up ALL NIGHT

Ayato:

Acts high and mighty but is actually such a baby for you 

Begs u to go out and get boba with him MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY 

Secretly loves scented candles lmaooo and would melt if you surprised him with one

Isn’t afraid to take you out and show you off at all his business meetings and parties 

He likes it when u pull his hair 👀

Highkey a sugar daddy and will spoil u

Childe: 

Bros a family man. Definitely bugs you about having kids 

Likes to play fight but will let you win… Most of the time

Will give you piggyback rides if you’re tired of walking 

Teases you mercilessly but would literally want to jump off a cliff if he ever accidentally hurt your feelings 

Comes home bloody and bruised from fights and haves you tend to him as a personal nurse

Don’t worry he’ll thank you later 👀

Dainsleif:

Emotionally unavailable but tries for you 

The first time he tried initiating a kiss he accidentally knocked his teeth into yours and now he's scared to initiate any form of contact LOL

Will take you out at night and watch the fireflies with you

Likes holding ur hand and will play with your fingers and stroke the top of your hand 

Whispering sweet nothings into his ear will simultaneously make him all mushy but also really h0rnee

He’s a softy for small animals (especially cats) and will often bring them home 

Diluc:

#1 in the daddy issues category. Interpret that however you please 

Will make u food if you help him at the winery or tavern 

Likes to surprise you with flowers and picnics for no reason 

Lays his head on your chest when y’all snuggle 

Gets jealous kinda easily lol but also easy to reassure 

Gorou:

Says he doesn’t like his tail or ears touched but that’s BULLSHIT. Pls pet his tail and ears; just be gentle

Has a praise kink for sure 

Chases crystalflies and will bring u one as a gift 

He’s scared of bugs and will make you kill them

Likes taking walks around Inazuma with you

He swings ur arm around like a little kid when y’all hold hands 

Itto:

Likes showing off his strength and carries you EVERYWHERE

Gives the best bear hugs 

Secretly can’t swim but never admitted it until he almost drowned when y’all went skinny dipping 

He likes sleeping on your pillow with you but he also drools in his sleep so sometimes u wake up with a puddle of drool on your pillow 

Is ur biggest hype man and will always praise you and treat u as if you were a god/goddess 

“WHOOOO LESSGO BABY YOU LOOK FINE AS HELL”

Kaeya:

UGH I could go on and on about this man I’m so downbad for him

Likes to surprise you with a visit when he’s supposed to be working cuz he misses u

Has no shame and will grab ur ass EVERYWHERE even in public and in front of people. PDA is not a word in his vocabulary 

Cries in his sleep and ur too scared to bring it up tbh 

The first time you genuinely complimented him (like u called him handsome or something) he got so flustered he giggled and he got SO EMBARRASSED LOL

Gives the best back massage you’ve ever had but it often leads to more…

He acts like he wears the pants in the relationship but tbh it’s you. You have him wrapped around your finger <3

Kazuha: 

He writes u love poems and shit 

Makes the best tea and always makes sure to have a cup waiting for you every morning 

Y’all get high together on the daily and just go wandering 

One of those times Kazuha fell into a stream and dropped his blunt and he got so sad he almost cried 

Gives the best kisses 

Likes to slow dance with you in the moonlight 

Heizou: 

He loves taking u on fancy dinner dates and just treating you like royalty 

Probably has just a hint of little man syndrome but it’s so fucking funny 

Will kiss your face all over for literally forever cause he just loves u so much 

Is definitely into roleplay lmaoo 

He gets so happy if you pack lunch for him to take to work - he often forgets to eat when working but if it’s made by you he always takes time to enjoy it

Likes to stand on things to make himself taller than you and then give u a kiss 

Scaramouche:

Sometimes u wonder if he even likes u but then one time he didn’t see you for like half a day and he bitched so much about it looll 

He DEFINITELY has little man syndrome 

Acts like tough shit but at night when y’all sleeping he CLINGS to you

His love language is gift giving cause he can’t use his words for shit 

The first time he tried to tell u he loved you he stuttered so bad and you kinda had to hold back a laugh cause it was really funny 

Thoma:

Literal house husband 

Would be so happy to clean and cook for u while you’re out so when you come home your house is clean and there’s food on the table

Is another softy for animals and often takes them home

Also has a praise link 

Is easily flustered and if you compliment him he’ll blush so hard and try to cover his face 

Says he loves you literally all the time it’s almost annoying 

Venti:

Since being with you he’s been drinking a lot less and has been more at peace 

Sings to you when you’re sad or scared 

Really likes hugs and wants to hug u all the time 

Falls asleep the second y’all start to watch a movie 

He put cat ears on you once as a joke and got so flustered he choked on his spit and had a coughing fit 

Xiao:

Another guy who you often wonder if he even likes you but this mf literally stalks u

Not in weird or creepy way just in the ‘you mean so much to him that he wants to protect you with his whole life’ way 

Sleeps like he’s dead (like he doesn’t move or looks like he’s breathing) and it worries u sometimes 

The first time he told u he loved u it was just so randomly that you didn’t react right away cuz u were so shocked and he got so embarrassed he teleported away and didn't come back for TWO DAYS LMAOO

Now he will often tell you he loves you, especially if he has to go away for a while 

Zhongli:

King of forehead kisses 

Often bores you to sleep at night with his stories. He never minds though 

Likes it when you sit in his lap 

Also gives really good back massages but also will want something in return lmao 

His compliments are so beautiful and heartfelt it makes you blush every time 

On your birthday

“This is a dried glaze lily that came into bloom on the day of your birth. Long ago, the people of Liyue would say that this flower blooms bearing the weight of the beautiful memories and prayers of the land. I believe this to have been applied on the day you were born as well."

[thelovelybitten]

vera's first watch of south park -- season 4 (part 1)

bc i know this is about to be so very long

EPISODE 1: SEGA DREAMCAST Y'ALL KNOW WHAT IS UP no I FORBID Y'ALL USUING KENNY'S TEEF TIMMEHHHH aww he's so cute NO NOT KENNY'S TEETH DFDSBKGBKSD :'(((( y'all rly stripped my son nakey... SHAME ON U i chuckled at cartman being the tooth fairy kyle is MAD MAD i was mad when i found out santa wasn't real stan kinda slayed w his plan omg MAFIA TOOTH FAIRY THIS IS SO GOOD WHAT "tits" cartman REALLY DEBATING NKDGKNJGFDJKN main four mafia gang WENDY IN FRAME I LOVE HER no bc if stan showed up in a spiffy suit working for the tooth fairy brigade at 8 years old, i don't know why wendy WOULDN'T BE WHIPPED KENNY'S HAT kyle is in his delusional arc, cartman, leave him be wtf... kyle y'all rly left kenny in the river ihy EPISODE 2:

AWWW A LITTLE SLED RACE ON THE TINY HILL

Tolkien slayed get him

please Wendy be in the select four

hc little Stan and little wendy are extremely competitive at sled racing and make it their whole personalities when the gangs hang out for the annual sled racing every year. they still got their little crush on each other but when they break up the first time OH THEY OUT FOR BLOOD.

Tolkien still ate and Cartman is a piece of shit

HATE CRIME ???? Ngl get ur Justice king

this is actually. so good I love when cartman gets what he deserves

Bebe and Kyle in the same frame it must be so

KENNY TAKE ME TO MEXICO

Kenny did not deserve that slap BYE

SJKDNSLCJXK THIS CHASE HAHA

Kyle: what the fuck is happening

the girls gaslighting, girlbossing and gatekeeping AS THEY SHOULD

juvenile hall is. Sumth.

OH THIS BOY ABT TO FUCK ERIC UPPPP

butters: I think Clyde is the next fattest kid SIR THE DISRESPECT ON MY SONS NAME FROM MY OTHER SON ITS PAINFUL. So hard to have multiple children out here

Girls are SLAYIN idc

AYO YALL GET OFF CLYDE I HAVE BEEF WITH CLYDE HATE

Clyde is literally a perfect size wtf y’all on ABT

“Oh my god we killed Kenny”

“We killed Kenny?”

“We killed Kenny, we’re bastards”

STYLE SO TRUE

Y’all hyping up cartmans ass LMAO

Bebe slayed

YALL CANT BREAK HIM OUTTA JAIL THATS ILLEGAL

THE PIG LATIN LMAOOOOOOO THEY DEVOURED

CARTMAN GROSS

KYLE THATS FUNNY LMAO

EW

this is so gross I hate it here

Not HIM FLUSHING THE CIGS

Tolkien rich as fuck

aAND THEY GET HISTORY LESSON LETS GO

WHAT THE FUCK CARTMAN

cartman in his gaslight era AGAIN

Jesus he’s so manipulative but it’s kinda iconic

THE THREE BOYS EPIC

OH THIS PRESENTATION IS WELL DONE MY BOYS WELL DONE

Lmao cartman is so heartless HAHA

CLYDE GET THEM

Bebe on the gals team let’s goooo

Clyde is CRYING LMAOOO

CARTMAN HAHAHAHAHAHA

YO NOT YALL HURTING THE GWORLS JAIL TIME

WHAT IS HAPPENING

okay. That was. An episode. Haha.

EPISODE 3

Kyle being up until 2:00 am UGH

WENDY AND KYLE MY SMART KIDS <3

MR GARRISON THUMBS DOWN DONT PICK ON TIMMY >:(

Timmy doesn’t have ADD but oh my lord I’d die if I had to listen to an audio book of the great gatsby

mackey and victoria asleep REAL OF THEM

STENDYLE ON THE COUCH TOGETHER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

specifically stendy as their heads lean on one another 🥹🥹🥹

KENNY DONT BONK UR HEAD U DESERVE BETTER

TIMMY SINGER ERAAAAAAA <3 u get em

everyone hyping up Timmy as they should !!! Wendy, Clyde and Tolkien my babies

POGS TIMMY IS A SLAY

Kenny and Cartman WHACKED OUT ON STIMULANTS

DAMN THEY ARE SO BORINGGGG LMAOOO ITS SO FUNNY

the kids: 😐😐😐

I hate this portrayal of Timmy’s disorder 😩

NOT THE PAN TO THE FACE POOR KENNY

NO DONT BEAT UR KIDS PARENTS

“AHHH ITS CHRISTINA AGULIERA” HAHA

Stan ate that speech

INTERESTING EP LOL

EPISODE 4

EVERYONE LOOKS SO CUTE DRESSED UP AWWWWW

KENNY *slams fists* THATS MY BOIIIIII

stan so unbothered by this clown

CARTMAN IS DEADASS ASLEEP ME TOO

contorting girlies got GAME

omg not them trying to do the same show LMAO

KENNY DKCMFHDHDJKCHD THIS COSTUME

not the boys naked PLEASE

Kenny reading on how to sing JSJFBDJSKD WHOLESOME

he's so cute u guys that's my fucking son

the oldies getting frisky EWWWWWWWWWWWW

wait she's dead????

NOOONOT THE GIRLS :(((((((

Kenny side quest I love it

HEMADE IT YAAAAAA

lil Romania girlies getting a slice of America

Stans HOUSE HOLY SHIT

not the girliessss

KENNY POPPING AWFFFFF

Kenny bffr come home

THEY SLAYED ATE THE BOYS UP

THE ENDING NOOOOO

note: Kenny can SING

EPISODE 5

domestic core 4 board game time

not AIDS Cartman bffr

OH KENNY’S GETTING A SIBLING?

CARTMAN NO

GET UR ASS OFF THE COMPUTER RIGHT THIS INSTANT

oh my god I'm actually scared for cartman for once

HE DOESNT DESERVE THIS FATE

STOP TOUCHING HIMMMMM

Kenny being worried abt this baby

Play catch! Cute

OH SHIT KENNY WHAT A FAST BALL

trying to stop him from having sex GENIUS

STAN AND KYLE ON THE WINDOWS JDHSHCJDKXKX THEY’RE MY BESTEST BOYS

Jesus cartman I'm so sorry don't know yet

HUH. NAMBLA IS FUCKED UP

GARRISON COMING OUT KING

MEPHESTO NOOOOOO

THE THREE OF THEM AT THE WINDOW AGAIN I LOVE THEM SO

OH SHES PREGGO SORRY KENNY

KENNY IS RLY TRYING TO KILL THIS KID ITS SO SAD

OH SHIT NOT THE DAD DRINKING IT DHDHCJSJBXHDBDDJDN

NASTY BRO

cartman nooooo

Kenny’s dad is going thru it

KENNYS DREAM OH MY LORD

Kyle NO TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK

these men need jail time JAIL TIME

Don't LAY A GOD DAMN FINGER ON BUTTERS U FREAK OF NATURE

NOT TIMMY ANYONE BUT TIMMY

THIS IS SO FUCKED UP

NO I CANT NOT MY KIDS

RUN KIDS RUN

CARTMAN. YOU CANT BE SERIOUS

NO NOT BUTTERS

The actual trauma NO

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS CARTMAN I HATE YOU

NO BUTTERS NO NO NO

thank god he's okay

But kennys dad i’m so sorry

Oh KENNYS NEW SIBLING

wait it's kenny PLEASE

[i-cant-sing]

Okay, so I love platonic yanderes so much, I think they’re so interesting and it’s fun to read different imagines & ideas without the romantic aspect however my mind will always go back to a video I watched where these penguins would literally fight each other to steal their kids and have them for their own, I saw it again recently and I my mind keeps saying yandere penguins.

Imagine having to fight other parents for your kids every time you went somewhere or a horde of mothers chasing you down a street. Penguins will sit on their babies to keep them warm and the image of platonic yandere families (eg Todoroki family or erasermic family) doing the same absolutely kills me, I really wanted your thoughts or imagine on this. Thank you.

"Penguins will sit on their babies to keep them warm" HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA THIS HAS ME IN FITS LMAOOO

No cause like I can see Shotou latching onto you to keep you warm, or Rei freezing your foot, so that she can wrap you up in a blanket burrito and cuddle you. Dabi, being the little shit he is, would either force your head into his smelly arm pit or fart under your blanket and trap you in it, letting you suffocate and die in his burnt bbq smelling gas.

But the whole "Yandere family VS Yandere family" trope is something I have discussed before, like Yandere Todoroki family VS Yandere Bakugou family, Yandere AFO/LOV VS Yandere Midoriya family, Yandere President Dad Kai VS Yandere Dad Aizawa etc.

You know what would be interesting tho? Two yanderes that hate each other/have nothing in common come together to kidnap parent the reader. They'll be so nurturing and sweet to you, so protective and possessive of you, but when you're out of sight, they want nothing more than to rip each others throats out, wanting to keep you for themselves. They're only putting up with each other because you seem to need both of them. I can definitely see the following yanderes fitting this idea:

Shigaraki and Dabi

Hawks and Dabi

Bakugou and Deku

Bakugou and Uraraka

Kai and Miruko

Bakugou and Momo

And if we're talking about other fandoms too:

Heisenberg and Lady Dimitrescu

Gojo and Getou

Gojo and Sukuna

Gojo and Toji

Toji and Naoya

Megumi and Naoya

Megumi and Noritoshi

Choso and Todo

^its Dabi and Y/n, nobody can change my mind

[sscarletvenus]

one last incoherent thought before i clock out, but jealousy jealousy by miss olivia rodrigo is such a PERFECT song about samuel and jake from sammy’s perspective???

LIKE OH MY GOD especially the

All your friends are so cool, you go out every night In your daddy's nice car, yeah, you're living the life Got a pretty face, pretty boyfriend too I wanna be you so bad and I don't even know you All I see is what I should be Happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy All I see, what I should be I'm losing it, all I get is jealousy, jealousy

- jake’s friends are literally the coolest kids in gangseo : jason with the red sneakers drip, brad with the awesome acrylic sets, local pretty boy jerry coming in clutch on his bike… (much later but) lineman too!!! also in the old big deal flashbacks you can see this friend group having the time of their lives, despite everything c’mon. THEN you have alexander hwang manipulating samuel’s desire for approval into making him do whatever he wants AND treating him like filth at one mcn... my poor evil baby

- speaking on daddies gapryong kim was a lame ass filthy bastard who neglected his wife and kid like hell. but to sammy (whose only motivation to get stronger was his supposed father’s approval), gapryong kim was, as xiaolung would say, the “heaven and the sky.”

- he’s so horrifyingly obsessed with the idea of having gapryong kim as a father figure, that he cannot understand jake’s hatred towards that one thing (ahem gapryong) that he desperately wants, but cannot have.

- so even if jake grew up in a literal viper pit, sammy would always see his life as the most sweet paradise.

- to him, jake is the luckiest person and also the most ungrateful one. (his childhood gotta have been terrible if he cannot recognize jake as a victim of abuse despite being one himself lol)

- jake is the prettiest person in the entire gangseo and no, i don’t take constructive criticism. he’s sweet, funny, smart, and makes simps out of everyone he comes across… like a disney princess, if you will.

- also please cancel AND block me for shipping sinu and jake, but sinu fits the pretty boyfriend line so perfectly lmaooo like despite jake’s initial tsundere tendencies towards sinu and joining big deal, sinu went to his school to recruit him, believed in him the most, trusted him with protecting the girls and the street, chased after him, coaxed him with all kinds of snacks after jake ran away, waited for his return, waited for jake to save him from the circus… AND it’s pretty much canon that they’re each other’s everything.

- NOW imagine how sammy felt when sinu favoured jake time and again despite being shunned by him initially, always agreed with jake’s methods, and this visible favouritism shattered samuel, because he was the one who wanted the great sinu han’s approval, he was the one who wanted to be recruited by big deal, he was the one cut for the gangster lifestyle (founding the gangseo union) , he was the one who wanted gun’s attention…

- in conclusion, jake got everything samuel had ever yearned for without wanting them in the first place in this essay i will,,,,

- AND THAT’S IT!!! hope the workers become a somewhat nasty family who actually care about samuel, if he doesn’t wish to have anything to do with big deal. i want the mommy milkers man to be happy too okay???

[charles-rxwlands]

my thoughts abt the tarot sequence that i just need to talk abt bc these books and the characters are special to me

i know, it's been several months since i finished the hanged man. yes im still emotional abt it. let me sob over my children in peace thank you

tts spoilers ahead!!

addam understands the bond rune and brand have. he doesn't only accept it, he also understands it.

page 373 of the hanged man where addam says to rune "i know that i will never be the love of your life.", "what you share with brand? i could spend a lifetime chasing it, and it will always be decades out of my reach...he is irrevocably linked to your very concept of safety and protection." those lines. those lines. i am obsessed.

and when addam said "quinn is an emotion for me, too." oh my fuck the sound i made. literally the entire epilogue tore right through me in the best way possible.

rune giving max the saint john name 😭😭 that scene made me ugly cry i shit you not

the male characters basically said "toxic masculinity? don't know him." and i am here for it. i know a lot of people ship brand/rune/addam, but personally i think things between rune and brand are fine as they are. they love each other a lot and don't hesitate to say it. it's not often you see a non-romantic relationship between two guys like the one between rune and brand, so i'd like to preserve what they have and let no one touch it ok ty

the banter between brand and rune is the highlight of the series. honestly, everything abt brand and rune are the highlights of the series. the scenes they have together are a perfect balance of funny, jokey ones and serious, emotional ones. like, i love them a lot.

rune??? calling quinn addam's son??? yes. just yes cause it's so true !!

and in a way, i think it finally made addam accept that he was one of the few people there for quinn when he was growing up.

the found family. enough said.

the characters are. so so so complex. they're on point. realistic, raw, and loveable. like yeah, they fuck up sometimes, but that makes them even better. i can't wait to see them grow further. already, i've formed a concerningly strong emotional attachment to rune, brand, addam, and the kids. and already, the hurt they have gone through hurt me as well bc i love them sm jfc

im literally living for the short stories k.d provides us with bc god knows i can only go so long w out content lmao

things i hope to see more in the series would be:

addam and rune being talla

rune's past trauma and r*pe experience being explored

brand's past trauma

layne!!! im really intrigued by them

rune, brand, addam, max, and quinn being a family

layne, anna, corbie, and corinne joining that family, perhaps??

THE DINOSAUR W ATHRITIS THAT RUNE AND BRAND NOW OWN!!!!

brand threatening to shoot rune in! the! ass! bc that scene had me howling lmaooo

the only bit of criticism i have is to add more female characters, and maybeee more characters of colour (but it's possible that k.d edwards doesn't feel like he can write a poc accurately so). but then again, only 2 books of tts have been released, and i believe there will be 9 in total, so it's a bit quick to judge.

OKAY LMAO that's the end of my rambling. if you made it to the end definitely read tts! the first book is the last sun, the second is the hanged man, and there are loads more to come. but ofc pls heed the trigger warnings.

[mythiccheroacademia]

—pocket heroes headcanons

mtha thots: it’s that time of year again where i start projecting my daily academic existential crises on the mha characters. i’ve had this idea in my head for months and got pages of brain rot fading away in my documents, so i’ve decided to stop being selfish and start sharing w some simple hcs. i hope you enjoy it <3

warnings: none

reference for the banner

© 2021 all writing content belongs to mythiccheroacademia. do not repost or modify

context: pocket heroes are a new phenomenon to the world. the whispers that spread by ear say they are tiny humans dressed in hero-like costumes that support you when you need it most. many don’t believe in them and blame it on overactive imagination. but the very few who know the truth, say otherwise. they say you can’t find a pocket hero, but your pocket hero finds you when they’re ready. luckily for you, your tiny friend made an appearance and is stuck to you like glue! 

--

Midoriya Izuku:

this little guy is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen

izu is on the shorter side standing only about 3 ¾ inches tall

but don’t let that height fool you bc he’s a ball of energy!

he’s a chatterbox so if that’s not your game, good luck sis

but he’s so cute and his voice is so tiny how could you not love him

your pocket hero is so encouraging of you

for every assignment, he’ll sit by your hand and cheer you on

it’s impossible to give in to temptation and skip an assignment/call off work bc he’ll puff his chubby cheeks out and pout

he knows it’s tough, but you can do it! there’s nothing you can’t do!

although, if you need to take a break for your mental health, he’ll immediately stop and climb up into your neck to comfort you

makes posters with sticky notes he finds around bc he’s your biggest fan

sits by you during class and takes his own notes so that you two can compare

he doesn’t want you to miss anything important

 you get such good grades bc of deku ong

izuku’s fav place to be is in your shirt pocket or in your cleavage, behind the collar of your shirt with his little head sticking out

it’s bc he likes to be near to your heart

it makes him feel safe and close to you

if you get really stressed out, izu will cry for you

he hates it when you’re distressed and won’t be able to think clearly until you’re okay

his whimpers are so sad it literally pains my heart

your pocket hero loves when you bring him up to your cheek so he can latch on and nuzzle you

he’s highkey attached to your hip

he’s not afraid to use puppy dog eyes if you tell him he needs to stay home when you go out

7 times out of 10, you give in

but when it’s necessary for him to stay, he’ll sadly mope around until he hears the door open and runs to you

deku’s got this huge smile on his face that could make the coldest man crack

his tiny footsteps are so cute ughhhh

uses ofa to jump to your face so you can catch him and give him cuddles until he’s satisfied

i adore him

Bakugo Katsuki:

katuski stands at a whopping 4 ½ inches which is about average

but this particular pocket hero has a bad case of small dog syndrome

make fun of how small he is at your own risk

bc this little dude bites

bakugo’s a hardass about your responsibilities

like the man will not let you procrastinate!

over his dead body

if he catches you slipping, he’ll pull on your ear lobes

screams at you and threatens to blow you up with his tiny explosions too for good measure

you don’t have the heart to tell him his quirk feels like a flick from a two year old

his yelling is kinda scary tho despite sounding like a preschool kid on helium

nevertheless, pls trust that this little guy loves you and only wants the best for you

you don’t catch how he gets up extra early every morning and organizes your desk to the best of his abilities (some of your stuff is heavy)

or how he’ll spend hours going through your music and making playlists to help you study

bakugo complains about doing it, but he’s always down to go through flashcards with you

he’s a smart cookie and has got a keen memory so trust he won’t let you half-ass/forget any important assignments and exams

a mother hen

if you have at least three inches of hair, bakugo likes to stand on the top of your head and tug on your strands to “make you move” like you're under his control

yes, he has an evil laugh

you humor him every time

although, there was one time you threw your head to the side and he almost fell off bc he called you a bad word and you weren’t having it

it hasn’t happened again since

doesn’t go there often bc he wants to be all tough, but his fav place to be is in the crook of your neck where it’s warm and he can feel close to you

pls reward him for good behavior w a lil kiss

he’ll tell you you're being gross and make a big show of wiping your “germs” away

but he secretly loves it

there was one time you didn’t peck him for a week and he actually got nervous in an angry kind of way

asked if you were mad at him in the smallest voice you’ve ever heard him use  

also stomps when he’s angry

pls he’s like the cutest most annoying alarm clock

i love him

Todoroki Shouto:

if izu and katsuki are the angel on your right, shouto’s the devil on your left

don’t get me wrong, the little guy will suggest you do your work

but…if you can still get the grade you want and skip out on a few things, who is he to say otherwise

a strong advocate of work smarter, not harder LMAOOO

you secretly think it’s bc he likes to take as many naps as he can with you

anyways, shouto is about 4 ¾ inches in height give or a take a couple centimeters

he’s got an unnaturally deep voice for a pocket hero

he’s very quiet, reserved most times, and will be your silent support as you go about your day

but pls don’t think he doesn’t have the slickest mouth known to man just bc he’s quiet

there was one time you asked your teacher a question and they were being difficult

you went back and forth for a few min, failing to notice the irritation growing on todoroki’s face

then he just blurted out, “and you’re supposed to have a degree in education?”

thankfully, your teacher didn’t hear him but when I tell you your heart dropped

you can’t take this man nowhere

he’s just a very sassy pocket hero

you get some lip from him too sometimes but threaten to take away his soba and he’ll shut up real quick

shouto likes to hang out on top of your head and lay there

also likes to sit on your shoulder and idly swing his legs

when you’re both bored in class, he’ll make little ice sculptures to get you more alert

you let him read articles out to you bc his voice is really soothing

todo lives for head pats or when you gently scratch his head with your finger

he’ll chase your finger if you pull away too soon

you think he purrs but shouto won’t admit to anything

when he’s feeling clingy, he’ll raise his arms up signaling for you to hold him in your hand

it’s annoying sometimes bc you need to take notes or something but does it look like this boy cares?

pick him up now!

if you get stressed, he makes you put down whatever you're doing and drink some water

forces you to take a nap if it’s really bad

all pocket heroes have a reserved “bed” so their caretaker doesn’t harm them when they sleep, but todoroki is wiling to risk death if it means curling up on your chest

your heartbeat helps him sleep easier

i wanna protect him at all costs

im no longer accepting requests!

[lewisdidthat]

Dan doesn’t like dogs? 😱 that’s like his only flaw

literally besties!!! listen to the podcast ep he did with Eagles Backchat, he explains that the reason he doesn't like them is because he was chased by one as a kid and has been traumatised since lmaooo so ironic considering he barks every 20 seconds

its danny thursday!

[ak8shi]

The HQ Boys & taking you to a haunted house: Atsumu + Bokuto + Suna + Oikawa

a/n: it isn’t even close to fall yet but this idea has been sitting in my head for weeks,,, enjoy!

 warnings: none, just some swearing

Miya Atsumu

GIRL,,, he’s already secretly pissing himself on the drive to the place LMFAOO

atsumu likes to rest his hand on your thigh when he drives (he’s a bad driver omg he always goes like twenty over) and he’s like clawing you on the way there👹

but hes going to keep his cool in front of you and he covers up his nervousness by teasing you about being scared

Atsumu, shaking in his boots: aw babe do I need to carry ya through the house?☺️

you: sure.,,🙄

he isn’t even that bad until ya’ll get to the entrance of the haunted house,,, he starts sweating and talking to himself frantically lmaooo

“it’s fine tsumu, you’re fine” “don’t even worry about it”

PLEASEE as soon as you get in he’s gripping your hand so hard... there’s no circulation in your left arm 

you have the hold his arms back because he keeps almost punching the actors SMAKSJLS

He doesn’t scream super loud but he curses at all the people jumping out, you better PRAY there’s no kids around 

he moves through the house way too fast like ya’ll are running at one point and he’s just pulling you along WHY ARE YOU CHASING HIM 

BUT if he knows you’re seriously scared he would never leave you behind and he would protect you by keeping you behind him

once you get out he’s acting like he wasn’t even phased,,,

Atsumu, snapping a picture of you gripping onto his arm: “she wouldn’t survive without me” PLEASE SOMEONE humble him💀

(he cries when he sees the snapshots from inside the haunted house where he’s crouching against you and burying his face in your hoody, “baby y-you can’t share these with anyone” LALMSJDK GET-)

Bokuto Koutarou

okay, let’s be honest probably the best and most fun person to go through a haunted house with

he’s so protective of you and you’re his first priority!! He always makes sure you’re comfy and also he’s so big and you can hide behind him !!🥰

what a cutie he’s so excited to go with you, he loves fall festivities

He isn’t really nervous but he’s shaking from adrenaline before you go in (and probably from the three candy apples he devoured beforehand)

he starts humming songs before ya’ll go in to calm both his and your nerves, and he tries to dance with you in line SKHDNKDL

I’m really crying I feel like he would be wearing his varsity jacket and he wouldn’t even hesitate to drape it around your shoulders if you were chilly thriller vibes

okay once you’re in, he genuinely enjoys the scare and goes through the house like a normal person

He lets you grip onto his bicep, and hold his hand (he’s one of those people who are warm no matter what)

HE SCREAMS LOUD THOUGH prepare your eardrums🗣

the cast is even like,,, god.. my ears

After jump-scares he tries talking to the actors and they’re like ??? but honestly it makes it less scary

he would offer to give you a piggyback if you’re too scared :(

Ugh imagine burying your face in his neck and he smells so good and he’s carrying you with his strong arms through it, reassuring you that none of it is real

HE WOULD NEVER JUDGE YOU :((

He just loves the fact that he gets to spend time with you, and he loves the way you hold onto him

Once you get out, he makes sure you’re okay and that you have a smile on your face at the end

But then he sneaks up behind you and scares you as a joke at the end😭 MEAN

He keeps the pictures of the two of you from the haunted house and in the pumpkin patch in his wallet and in his MSBY locker ugh cute

Suna Rintarou

Also one of the one’s who are secretly sort of pissing themselves but won’t show it at all

pretty calm on the way there but you can tell something is off because he keeps fidgeting and asking you if you’re sure you want to go into it LMFAO

You: for the 34th time bighead,,, YES I want to go

once you get there he’s so cute :( he takes your hand in his and puts it into his sweatshirt pocket ugh

HE STARTS CRACKING JOKES and that’s when you know for sure he’s nervous 💔

Rin: babe that zombie kind of looks like you when you wake up hungover

you:... shut the fuck up and take my hand

GIRL HE’S USING YOU AS A SHIELD I CAN’T-💀

He DOES let you squeeze his hand and he thinks the way you bundle into his side is so cute :(

He literally stops moving when someone jumps out at ya’ll and you have to pull him along or else you would be stuck being attacked by the same people 

He doesn’t scream super loud or anything, but he jumps so badly lmao he moves the fastest you’ve ever seen him move besides on the volleyball court

at the part with the fog machine, you both literally get so lost because he’s blind and is convinced that he’s leading you both towards the right direction when in reality you’re walking in circles 

IF you’re the one who’s extremely scared, he’ll take you in his arms and let you cover your face with his sweatshirt

once you make it out, suna will for sure keep the pictures of the two of you in his phone case because he thinks you look so cute huddle next to him, gripping his pussy bangs

Rin, hair disheveled and shirt covered in sweat stains: it wasn’t that bad, you’ve been rougher with me

HE’S SO ANNOYING I-

Oikawa Tooru

I have no idea what he thought going through a haunted corn maze would be like, but he overdresses SO MUCH LMFAKDJDK

man is wearing dress pants and a nice cashmere sweater... tooru please

he looks good but you can’t bring yourself to tell him you’re going to be running for your lives through a farm yard full of dirt and corn

he doesn’t act nervous because he doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into lmfaoo

once you get there he’s like.... wow that is kinda dark..

the nerves start setting in and he’s like trying to ask you if YOU’RE sure if you want to go

Oikawa: baby are you sure you want to go through it? We can always just egg Wakatoshi’s house and get the same experience 🥺

you: yes, I’m sure sweetie❤️

SKSKDJD he just really isn’t ready for it, both of you are holding onto each other for dear life as you enter the maze

GIRL HE SCREAMS WHEN THE PEOPLE POP OUT AND THEY’RE ALLOWED TO TOUCH PEOPLE HE’S IN TEARS

HE INSULTS THE ACTORS WHEN THE JUMP OUT why is he being so mean omg it comes out instinctively-

you have to basically pull him up from the ground and run since the people tend to chase you 

He literally blacks out for the entire thing omg he’s losing it.. it doesn’t help that he didn’t eat dinner before

at one point you get lost in the maze and you can’t seem to find your way out, but tooru decides he’s had enough of it and drags you through the corn field(not even on the paths) and leads you both to the exit🗿

both of you look like you were wrestling out there, with twigs, leaves, and corn stalks sticking out of your clothes and hair,, sweating messes

but you go to a little photo-booth at the location and take pictures, and they turn out so cute..,,

you: maybe we should have egged ushiwaka’s house😳

him: I told you fool😤

[samsspambox]

pokémon teams and how they got them (bc i got on my switch for the first time in a while)

vyn:

chansey

given by giann when they first opened the research center 

v helpful when it comes to patients 

his little assistant 

aipom

caught when he was a teenager 

was a big “fuck you” to his dad bc it was a normal type 

helps at home with his baking

gallade

given by his dad as a ralts

the family had a generational thing with gardevoirs

he realized that his was a guy so all he had to do was expose it to a dawn stone 

first member of the family with a gallade 

one of the more subtle “fuck you”’s that he gave his dad

garchomp

given to him by security 

after certain events they wanted to make sure that vyn could defend himself 

so,,, op dragon lmaooo

espeon

his most recent addition 

also found in his garden 

healed their tails and got attached 

maybe psychic types aren’t that bad,,, 

inteleon

found as a sobble in his garden when he first moved to stellis 

allowed them to spend time in his garden 

now has a lil pond because of them

luke:

taillow (named peanut)

take peanut story and paste it here (i don’t have the card lmaoo)

porygon-Z

given by the NSB

helps with hacking and stuff

loves making beeping sounds and reminding luke to eat 

even if that means shutting down the computer 

lucario

the only thing he has from his parents 

raised from an egg as a riolu 

trained with them as a sparring partner 

would not leave surgery room when luke was hurt 

also very protective of rosa

talonflame

raised from a fletchling with rosa 

literally fell on his head 

altaria

taken from one of the labs the nsb broke into 

bonded exclusive to luke and would not let anyone but luke heal it 

sometimes pops out of its pokeball if luke is being stupid and decides not to sleep 

skarmory

found them during bootcamp 

kept it in his room in secret

they obviously knew but its a skarmory so they let it slide 

calls them his getaway car lmaooo

marius:

gyarados

this one is a family tradition.

they have special trainers to breed and raise magikarp and give them everstones. 

the only way they can get their magikarp to evolve is to take away the everstone but its a whole ass ceremony. 

they had to rush marius’ bc of giann. 

both him and the gyarados don’t know how to act around one another. not completely bonded. 

the von hagens are required to hold them at all times

roserade

giann left this one behind and no one knows why. 

marius took them up and they’ve been working on a relationship. 

doesn’t completely obey marius. 

smeargle

his bestie. his main. loves them to death. 

they paint together often. 

he got them while looking at some contractors paint outside and fell in love with them. one of the painters was kind enough to give him an egg.

togekiss

given to him by his father 

gift before he left abroad

they’re decently close. has painted them in portraits 

umbreon

caught as an eevee abroad 

he likes painting at night, sue him 

and he felt bad that he couldn’t spend time with them so he let them out at night

pidgeot

a pidgey he caught as a kid 

loves them

uses them to get around when he’s alone

loves the feeling of flying with them 

has used them as a plane substitute and jumped off them 

best thing  

artem:

decidueye

given to him by neil 

figured he could use a partner when shooting 

they were very,,, cold to one another 

bonded over target practice 

arcanine

given to him by darius/commission that gives lawyers their licence 

police officers use arcanaines as partners for chase and protection

they extend the same courtesy to lawyers

meowstic

a gift from his mom as an espurr when he was like 5

listen they just seem like two peas in a pod 

expressions who?

loves to keep them out of their pokeball 

may sometimes be seen in the office wandering around 

sometimes just stares at rosa while she works

no the meowstic is not in love with rosa stfu

bisharp

taken in after a pokemon abusing case he worked on

no one wanted to take them due to their tough exterior 

actually a sweetheart 

loves helping artem in the kitchen 

v good carrot chopper

azumarill

caught the lil fella after they suck in on his swim time 

they are now swimming buddies 

the one he takes out when he goes to the orphanage 

sandslash

found them as a teenager 

related to them on a spiritual level bc he too just wanted to roll up into a ball

[lilith-91]

We know that Madara is obsessed with Hashirama, but i think Hashirama is the same, chasing after Madara during and between all those battles in the flashback lol

And what kind of kid meets another boy twice and thinks to himself “God he’s a gift from the divine”? also Hashirama isn’t even that bothered about Madara having started a whole ninja war, he just shakes his head and starts telling Sasuke about this boy he met at the river who couldn’t piss when someone was behind him and then when they’re all flying off to face Madara, Hashirama says he’s excited to see his own friend again (whom he literally killed once lol). Oh,  and he doesn’t seem bothered at all about how obsessed Madara is with him lol

 That’s why the whole war arc is funny when Madara and Hashirama meet because they’re both crazy and to them the war doesn’t seem as dire as it is to the other shinobis who were shitting their pants out of fear. And lmaooo i noticed this recently but when Hashirama’s clone comes to fight Madara, he literally apologizes to Madara for making him wait like who does that lol

So they end up giving off this vibe of two crazy ass old men who are crazy for each other regardless of the circumstances. They’re both nuts and that’s why they work lol

[dreaming-of-assclass]

can you a hc of class e going through a haunted house? like maybe as a big school trip 😂😂 i think this would be a fun scenario! i always rlly love your hcs, ty!!

YES OMG! I LOVE THIS IDEA! And aww thank you!! <3

Class E in a Haunted House 💀🖤

Kataoka leads the way. Yeah, Isogai and a few others are right behind her but she’s totally in the front before everyone. She’s not even scared lmao, just sighs and accepts that she has to do this. Kayano and Kurahashi are clinging to her as tightly as they can without restricting her movements too much.

Irina, Korosensei, and Karasuma are kinda in the middle. They thought they should spread out more, but Koro insisted on staying there where most of the kids were.

Group 4 is all the way in the very back, a few feet away from the cluster of their classmates. Yeah not good lmao. They’re definitely up to stuff *cough cough Karma*

Karma keeps purposely spooking Sugino and Okuda by messing around with some of the decorations around them. Kayano walks with Nagisa and Kanzaki, and all of three of them aren’t scared at all lol.

The first jump scare, Yoshida literally flies into the air and leaps into Kataoka’s arms. She promptly drops him lmao.

Hazama...is terrifying everyone lmfao. Like she’s right in her element and she makes sure everyone knows.

She also keeps whispering chants to herself the entire time they’re walking and it almost makes Okajima pee his pants.

One of the masked horror people working there directly approaches Terasaka, who doesn’t move a muscle, unimpressed. So the two of them are just standing in a staring contest for like seven minutes while the class watches anxiously 😂

At some point, Group 1 gets separated a bit and they get chased by one scary reaper-style person. And Kurahashi’s legs are so short, she’s last 😭 All you see is Yada turning around to yell at her, “Book it, Hina! Book it!”

Maehara absolutely tries to flirt with the scary masked employees. He tries it with the chainsaw-wielding person and she chases him immediately.

Okajima is FRIGHTENED ok?? The entire time, this kid is clinging into his friends and barely lifting his head up lmaoooo. That makes him even more of a target from the workers.

At some point, they’re waiting outside in line, all anxious. And out of nowhere, Kimura lets out a random squawk that scares everyone, even some other people waiting alongside them.

Gotta love that gremlin, huh?

Okano is literally the worst person to stay close by because she keeps making the funniest blunt comments. Like Nakamura is just tryna hold onto her, not burst out laughing because she compared one of the monsters to Shrek.

Korosensei keeps proudly announcing that he’ll protect everyone, but we all KNOW he’s scared of ghosts and paranormal things.

Every time something comes close to him, he flies up and wraps himself around Karasuma, who is Tired.

Irina keeps pulling her gun out as a reflex, and the class has to all scramble to hide it out of view from the workers.

Takebayashi’s scream is the funniest sound in the world and it’s confirmed from this trip. It’s a literal goat scream and it makes everyone cry from laughter after they hear it.

Also at some point, both Kayano and Okuda are clinging onto Sugino’s arms so he’s basically carrying them. Okuda bc she’s scared, Kayano bc she’s tired of walking lolol.

By the end of this night, they’ve been banned from the haunted house for chaos they caused lmao. Caused a few shenanigans just trying to hide Koro’s identity lmaooo.

Itona blunty suggests that they watch a horror movie in class the next day. Half of them yell “NO!” And the other half is like “HELL YEAH!”

[pretendrocketships]

Planez

About: Shawn’s the pilot. You’re a flight attendant. Do the math. (SMUT)

A/N: THIS REQUEST WAS HOT. I kinda wanna do more with this but I know nothing about planes lmaooo. If y’all want and if I can figure out google, I’m down. Feedback and asks are welcome anytime! Enjoy! (3K)

Song: Planez by Jeremih ft. J Cole

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“Boys,” you scolded, causing both giggling men to turn and look at you. “Is someone going to make the announcement, or shall I?” 

“Nose goes,” the copilot said while sneaking around you to head to the bathroom. You glared at Shawn as he shot you his famous smile and grabbed the microphone.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. On behalf of the entire crew and I, we’d like to welcome you to Memphis. We’re looking at a clear sky and ninety-three degrees out. Thank you so much for choosing to fly with us, and we hope to see you again!” You rolled your eyes at his fake chipper voice. He put the hand-held device on the dashboard and turned fully to look at you. “Happy?” 

“You know it would be a lot easier for you to do your job if you just did yours,” you informed him, rolling your eyes at his antics. 

“And it would be a lot easier for me to do my job if your skirt weren’t so tight.” You felt your cheeks blazing with heat at his comments and wandering eyes. You flustered while pulling your skirt down the best you could. “Not helping,” he said, cocking his head to the side, “said tight, love, not short, but I do love the view.” 

“Maybe if you focused this hard on your job,” you snapped, folding your arms over your chest. A soft moan left the back of his throat. 

“You act like I’m not just staring at your tits right now.” 

“You’re ridiculous!” Your black heels stomped against the floor in disbelief. He laughed and stood up to join you against the wall, his hot breath fanning over your cheeks. 

“What’s gotten you so worked up? Usually, you’re on my ass but today you just can’t get enough of me huh?” You went to answer until he raised his eyebrows in realization. “Wait, wait I remember. Your tinder date last night,” he recalled smugly, “Couldn’t get it up and couldn’t get you off,” he shook his head, “what a shame.” Your jaw dropped. He chuckled at the complete look of shock on your face. “It was a long flight and Cristina has a big mouth. You should know this by now.” You groaned and closed your eyes. 

“Bring up my sex life again, and I will end you, Mendes,” you threatened. 

“And I’ll return the favor,” he whispered messing with the scarf tied around your neck, “since none of your dates seem to be able to finish you off.” The glint in his eyes made you want to punch him and fuck him in the copilot’s seat. The tension between you two was obvious to the entire crew and to each other. Shawn’s teasing touches and flirty comments wouldn’t be so constant if you didn’t make it a point to let the biggest in-flight gossip know about all your failed attempts at love and dating. The entire airline had money on the bet of who would cave first. 

“Shawn if you don’t—“ 

“Hi.” Both of you snapped your heads towards a little boy in the doorway, staring up at Shawn with bright eyes and a wide smile. 

“I can’t imagine how horny you are right now,” he whispered into your ear, “but I have to take care of something right now, so keep it in your pants, yeah?” He chuckled to himself, completely ignoring your scowl before attending to the little kid. “Hi buddy! What‘s up?” He crouched to the kid’s level and gave his best smile. 

“W-well,” the boys stuttered, “I wanna drive planes, and you drive planes, so I-I wanted to say you did a really good job driving us here!” Shawn’s grin spread from ear to ear as he hugged the boy. 

“Thanks, bud. Wanna come check out the pit?” The kid nods excitedly when Shawn picks him up and plops him down in the seat. You’ve seen this routine plenty of time, and something about seeing him with kids, especially after him being so dirty, had you squeezing your thighs together. The boy’s eyes are blown as he admires all the flips and switches littering the dashboard. He reaches his chubby hand out before withdrawing it. 

“Touch?” he simply questioned. Shawn laughed and ruffled his hair.

“Go for it,” He has a field day flipping switched and messing with the radio. Watching Shawn teach him about controls and flying did something to you that you can’t put your finger on. Maybe it was because it was such a sharp contrast from what was coming out of his mouth just moments before. Shawn showed him all around and indulged in making airplane noises as he pretended to fly the huge aircraft.

“Oh god, there you are!” An older woman ran into the plane, visibly relieved to find her seemingly lost son. “What did I tell you about running off like that!”

“But mommy! Look, I’m driving the plane!” You saw her shoulders relax, realizing her son was fine. She shot you both a sheepish smile. 

“I’m sorry about this. Tommy, c’mon let's go.”

“But mom!” You laughed to yourself as the little boy pouted, and Shawn joined him, both of them folding their hands in prayer begging the mom to let him stay. She laughed at their antics. 

“No, Tom, we gotta go. Let’s take a picture to show Grandma, then let’s go and leave these nice people alone.” 

“Gotta look for the picture right?” Shawn quickly fished around to find a miniature set of wings that matched his own. 

“Cool!” Shawn grabbed you and pulled you into his side. 

“Smile, bud!”

“1,2..” as she said three, Shawn grabbed your ass with a firm squeeze. You gasped but covered it up with a cough. 

“Say thank you.”

“Thank you! Bye-bye!” He exclaimed and walked out happily, examining his shiny, new pin. Shawn waited until they were completely out of earshot to give his attention back to you, smirking while pressing you against the wall.

“So, wanna see my cockpit?” 

You scoffed at his antics. “Don’t you have anything better to do?” 

“Well, you know I don’t like leaving until everyone is gone, and it seems like something’s keeping you on board,” he said smugly. 

“What makes you think I even want to fuck you, Shawn?” 

“Well,” he started, “none of the last,” he paused to think, “three of your tinder dates haven’t made you cum.” He doesn’t even give you the chance to protest. “Am I wrong?” You hit him on the chest, but before you could retract he grabbed your hand. He dragged your hand down his body. “Tell me when to stop,” he murmured. He moves your hand from his biceps to his chest. He kept piercing eye contact. You felt him move his hand down his chest and down resting at his abs. He pulled you by the neck and pressed a soft kiss under your ear. “I said,” his voice was hard and loud against your ear, “Tell. Me. When. To. Stop.” You had no excuse because he made sure you heard every word. 

“I heard you,” you whispered. He slowly moved your hand to cup him. 

“Fuck,” he groaned softly when he felt you squeeze him. 

“What do you think Hillary would say about this?”  He grunted at the mention of your boss. 

“You’re getting a handful of my beautiful cock, and you’re thinking of a middle-aged woman right now?” 

“Shut up would you?” He cocked his head to the side. 

“What? Want me to put my mouth to better use?” 

“You’re spending so much time talking, I’m wondering if you even know how?” You challenged. He picked you up and dropped you in the pilot’s seat. He crawled on top of you, holding intense eye contact. 

“See, honey, the thing is, I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to get me to fuck you without having to say it. But, you’re going to have to say it if you want to finally figure out what an orgasm feels like.” You squinted at him, thinking about how you’d play this. You got up off his lap and kept his gaze, and you shimmied out of your panties. You say back on top of him, moving just enough to broadcast a wet print on his pants. You took his hat off of his head and placed it on yours. 

“Your move, Mendes.” He wasted no time. He surged up to capture your lips in a kiss. 

“How many times do you think I could make you cum before the cleaning staff comes? I’m thinking three,” he pondered aloud. You rolled your eyes as if his confidence didn’t turn you on.

“Get to work.” 

“Kinda turns me on when you get all bossy.” As soon as the words left his mouth he bunched your skirt up around your waist. “The times I’ve dreamed about doing this.” He moved his hands to your blouse and ripped it open, loose buttons pooling on the ground around you.

“Shawn! What the fuck? This isn’t a porno,” you scolded him, already thinking of where to find another shirt before your next flight. 

“It can be if you let me work.” Before he even finished his thought, his lips were mouthing at your clothed clit. Hearing your moans only made him work harder, feeling himself getting turned the more you tugged at his curls. 

Like the tease he was, he immediately moved away from your clit to leave marks along your inner thighs before pulling away. “No, no fuck this, you have to take this off.” You took your sweet time shaking your ass and putting on a show. When it was finally off, he yanked you down on top of him. “Thanks for my chair back.” He smacked your ass. “Now hop on, love.” You shot him a look. 

“Weren’t you being cute and sweet like just a minute ago?” 

“Reserved for kids and kids alone, but you can be my baby if you want.” You wanted to fuck the smugness out of him. Literally. You ran out of comebacks, so you just sank down on top of him and soaked in the feeling of his hips sputtering up and him finally being silent for once. You could’ve sworn you felt his dick twitch inside of you. Your hips rolled back and forth over him. The sound of your wet pussy and your thighs smacking against him were the only sounds to be heard in the plane.

“You know? I quite like quiet Shawn.” It was your turn to tease. He was memorizing the feeling of having you wrapped around him. He was comparing to what he imagined, and the real thing didn’t even come close. Your knees were planted by his side and your hips were moving on a mission, chasing a high you hadn’t felt in weeks. “Am I making you feel good, baby?” you teased. His grip on your waist was deadly tight. All he could do is bask in the feeling. He let you roll your hips into him. “So good for me,” you praised in breathy moans. You forced your eyes open to see his face scrunched up in pleasure. Part of the turn-on was being able to tease him without a single comeback, Shawn being too wrapped up in pleasure to respond. That was until his hat fell off your head brought him back to reality. He stopped you to flip you over. 

“I’m about to fuck that smirk off your face.” He grabs your hips and slams you back onto him. You swear you feel the plane shaking. He switched his pace from hard and fast to slow and exploring. The way he swirled his hips made the hair on your skin stand up. His hips were snapping then swirling. After your last guy didn’t even know that the g-spot was real, your head was spinning. “Feel good to finally be getting fucked right? Fuck, you feel amazing, (Y/N).” His moans sound delicious right in your ear. He slowed down only to reach his hand down and play with your clit. “God, do you look good.” Your eyes rolled to the back of your head. 

“Fuck me!” Your whimper was pathetic and he was living for it. “Right there! Fuck, please Shawn,” you instructed in a broken moan as he hit the perfect spots at the perfect speed.  

“Right there huh?” he mocked, “could’ve had this dick so long ago but you never wanted to ask and now you’re begging.” He was laughing to himself but his focus was on how his cock was just slipping out of you. He makes a mental note to tease you about how wet he got you on your flight to New York. The sounds of your juices pooling around him at his change of pace were filthy. He wished he were recording. This middle and pointer finger found their way to your clit, rubbing in messy circles.  

“S-shawn please,” you cried out, the constant drilling made your head spin. 

“Please what? Please make you cum all over my cock? Please fuck me til I can’t walk? Please bury your face in my sweet peach?” He moaned before he could even finish his comeback. “Might have to do that last one.” The lack of attention had your orgasm coming embarrassingly quickly, and he knew it. “That you fluttering around me?” He laughed and made sure every snap of his hips assaulted your g spot in the most delicious way. “That quick, hun?” Your skin was warm. Too warm. Every single word did nothing but made your clit throb more. You couldn’t even find the words to warn him before you were squeezing the cum out of him, cumming harder than you’ve ever had.

“Fuckkkkk,” you whined out weakly as you felt tingles all over your body.

“Christ! Fuck baby, just like that.” He never slowed down, chasing his high at the expense of your oversensitivity. You started squirming, trying to slow the attack on your g spot. He finally stilled, only to release streams of cum inside of you. You were still catching your breath when he pulled out and dropped to his knees, the thud forcing you to open your eyes.

“S-shawn, what are you--” He laughed. 

“You thought I was done before I even got a taste?” The moan you let out was absolutely pathetic, and Shawn felt his cock fattening up already. He licked a thick stripe over your opening. You locked your thighs around his head as soon as you felt his tongue prod at the mixture of both your releases. Your hands were tugging relentlessly on his curls, causing him to moan into you. The vibrations made your hips flicker up. He pulled back to look at the mess he made, admiring his work.“Little (Y/N) getting turned on by me licking the cum out of her,” he tisked. “Never told me you were so naughty,” he whispered into you. 

“Less talking, more--” He winked and dove back into you, sucking the remark right out of you. His tongue was dancing inside you, licking you clean. He was exploring every inch of you and making a map to commit to memory for the next time you let him fuck you senseless because he knew there would be a next time. He licked over spots that made your legs tighten around him more. When he felt your hips itching to move, he threw his arm over you and inserted three fingers inside your greedy hole. You lurched forward, gasping for air. 

“Fucking shit!” You felt him grin against your clit. The ego trip you were going to have to deal with was nothing in comparison to how good you felt right now. 

“You’re throbbing for me love,” he declared as he moved his arm from your stomach, moving to slap at your clit. “Feel that good?” his tone was almost questioning himself if he could really be that good. 

“Yes! Yes oh my god, please don’t stop,” you begged. 

“Sounding like I’m the best you’ve ever had.” He was doubling down on his effort, his fingers inside of you and against your clit were flying. You didn’t even have time to appreciate his biceps bulging as he used all his focus and strength to bring you a mind-shattering orgasm. 

“Fuck, you are.” Good thing your eyes were shut or else you would’ve seen his head get big.

“I want that in writing,” he mumbled before going back to sucking on your clit, loving seeing your back float off the chair because of how good it is. You opened your mouth to try and warn him this time, let him know you couldn’t last much longer feeling this good. “You’re close aren’t you? I feel you fluttering around me. About to cum, (Y/N)? About to cum all over my fingers for me? Such a good girl letting me fuck you you right here where anyone could walk in and see.” He knew you were close. He felt it. “Let me have it, (Y/N). Fuck, I can’t wait to taste. Let me have a taste, honey.” Somewhere, in the midst of it all, he had you cumming, seeing stars. Your eyes were shut so tightly, you saw white flashes dancing behind your eyelids as he ripped your orgasm from you. You were thrashing around, trying to run away from the pleasure and savor the feeling at the same time. 

“S-s-sha-wn.” Your cries for him were broken and useless. Once the wave of pleasure started, there was nothing you could do but ride it out. Shawn was shushing you softly and caressing your thighs to soothe you and bring you down. His soft actions lasted until you finally blinked your eyes open to stare at him lazily. 

“Cleaners still aren’t here love. Are you forgetting I said three orgasms?”

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