#he’s not dead yet he’s just 36….

[christadeguchi]

“you just turned… 35?” “🤨 you were gonna go 36 there… eh???”

no escape for him now… happy 36th 🏆

bonus: 2010 vs 2022

[moominsuki]

✎ᝰ BAKUGOU KATSUKI ; — 11:36 AM OR when you’re needy and he’s ready to help you. doesn’t mean he won’t have some of his own fun while doing it. (birthday special)

࿄ ! warnings - major nsfw. squirting. f!reader. kind of dubcon but not really. / note. hey… how y’all doing! i have no excuses this time lol. i also can’t promise i will be back! i couldn’t let this brew in my drafts forever, esp. on his birthday. but enjoy :} minors& blank blogs dni.

you: hey kats i miss you :(

you: katsuki? i need you

you sent those texts at around 11:36 am and it’s now almost an hour later, with katsuki being in a very important heroes’ meeting of some sort. now, katsuki never takes time or leave off of work only on the condition he’s practically spilling his guts onto the floor - and even so, he’d come in with his hands wrapped round his lower abdomen if he wasn’t chastised for showing up half dead.

this wasn’t out of the ordinary for you - you know, to text him all needy and sad. don’t get it all wrong, it makes katsuki’s heart clench to have to leave you to your lonesome when he’s busy and you’re not. he knows how you get when you get off your period and mixed when you’re also feeling poorly comes a combination of you feeling melancholic, sweet and also very needy. by the way, did he mention needy yet?

katsuki: what’s up with you? you ok?

his phone vibrates almost as fast as he tried to stuff it in his pocket and he inconspicuously looks down.

you: no… i need you :((

katsuki sighs looking at your texts, excusing himself from the meeting and giving what he’d consider sympathetic eyes to his friends before dialling up your number.

“you okay, princess?” katsuki frowns, “i know you ‘aven’t been feeling well these past few days but ‘m busy-”

“katsukiii,” you all but whine into the phone, mewling and he straightens up immediately at your voice, ears turning a cute shade of pink. oh. he knows this tone. he knows it all too well amongst the linen sheets of his bed.

“i know i shouldn’t be calling while you’re busy but, fuck, i need you, need you so much,” you gasp on the other side of the line, practically swimming in his bed, wearing only your cotton panties and a barely there tank top.

katsuki bites his fist, standing behind the conference room door, groaning quietly. “yeah?”

“mhmmm, i really do,” you simper, “you looked really good this morning an-and you smelt so good and… ‘m just really, really needy right now.”

katsuki should tell you to get a grip, dash some cold water on your face and put your fingers to good use but the way you’re moaning and whining across the phone is making all his blood cells rush from the rational parts of his body down to the irrational parts of his body.

“where r’you right now?”

“in your bed… just like how you left me,” you sigh, a pathetic and wanton lilt to your words. “all alone in this big and cold bed wishing my big, strong man would come home and give me what i deserve.”

your flushed face boyfriend all but snarls, teeth bared over the phone. “yeah? what d’you deserve, then, for interrupting me at work and and then begging me to come home and fuck you? cos that’s what you want, right? for me t’drop everythin’ and come running to you?”

“yup,” you hum, popping the ‘p’ and some rustling can be heard in the background. “well, ‘s your choice, really. i just… really need you, baby.”

you can hear katsuki’s deep breathing over the phone and you’re so certain you can hear the cogs in his skull turning, clicking as he mulls over this decision. he clears his throat, lamenting with a big sigh as if this is all one big inconvenience for him.

just at that moment, deku comes through the door.

“everything okay, kacch- dynamight? if you’re busy we can discuss this with you another time.”

“…‘m gonna have to head home for a little while… something’s come up. don’ wait up. i’ll be back as quick as i can.”

katsuki wants to bite you when he can make out the smile over your exhale through the receiver but you’re quick to hang up as deku reassures his friend in his naïveté, unknowing to the true purpose of his mid day return home.

when katsuki returns within 10 minutes since your call (usually it’s a 16 minute drive from the agency to home - pedal to the metal), you’re already on the couch, and your tank top does nothing to hide the hardness of your nipples and katsuki can see the shape of your cunt lips through your barely there panties.

no words are passed as you smile sweetly at your boyfriend, who kicks off his shoes and whose hands already at his belt as he stalks over to your seated body.

“how d’ya want it, huh?” you’re already moving back across the couch, legs spread.

“just fuck me please,” you whimper, “wan’ you to stretch me out with your cock.” you paw at his hips, at the waistline of his trousers that situate themselves in front of your face.

“you don’ want me to stretch you out first?” he muses, dropping down to his knees in front of your scantily clad pussy, thick fingers pressing on your covered clit and you hum, shaking your head.

“i can take it right now,” you gasp, and two fingers slip into your pants despite your protests at how you “don’t need to be prepped,” and that you “can take him right now.” alas, you shut up effective immediately when his fingers skim through your panties and straight to rubbing your hardened nub and you can’t find it in yourself to get annoyed when two digits slip inside you, curling up only for a mere second and jolting your body along with it.

katsuki pulls his dampened fingers out, effectively taking off your panties with him. “your decision. don’t get pissy with me later when it’s sore, because ‘m not gonna have it.”

you shake your head defiantly, utterances of “i won’t” and “just please fuck me,” meshing into a slurry of words.

he grabs your face to look at you. “you promise?”

you nod and he frowns, smushing your cheeks slightly. “you better speak up and fast, because i ain’t got all day, princess.”

“i promish! i promishh.” the words come out muffled against the grip of his hand. your boyfriend takes the answer anyhow, because he gets up from off his knees to impatiently throw off his blazer, then down his trousers and pants in one swoop.

there’s a smug look on your face and katsuki can tell you’re trying to hide a triumphant smile. he wants to wipe it off your face so badly.

“face down, ass up, pretty lady.”

you throw yourself around without a second to spare and katsuki stuffs a pillow under your hips, slapping your ass in the process. at any other time, you would’ve scolded him for leaving a print. instead you moan and arch your back, clenching cunt on display for his hungry eyes.

“fucking minx,” katsuki grumbles, settling behind you and letting the weight of his mostly hard cock tap against your pussy, delving between your puffy lips and rubbing against your hardened clit.

you try to be good, try not to say anything that might make him want to punish you but you’re growing restless at what feels like hours of torture (hours being mere seconds that is) and you sniffle out a weak “katsuki, please…”

his heart clenches at your tone and even when he’s trying to tease you, he can’t help but feed out the palm of your hand. he also can’t help that his dick pulsates in his grip at the pathetic tone of your voice.

“don’t rush me or i’ll leave you like this,” he grumbles, and you both know he wouldn’t dare, and you’re about to protest, turn your head to spit defiantly at him but it’s much too late for that. he sinks in, weighty and thick and it knocks the breath out of you. you practically face plant into the armrest of the couch and your teeth bites into the cashmere fabric.

there’s something about not being prepped before that makes this so much more intimate and sexy for the both of you, but the impending realisation that you will be sore tomorrow dawns on you as you feel the heft of his balls press on you. he’s right to the hilt and you’re full to the brim, gasping.

neither of you can get a word out edgeways or sideways - katsuki leans down to wrap a thick arm around your neck and though he can barely see your face, he can feel the salty tears dribbling down his forearm and he can most definitely hear the wordless cries coming from out your agape mouth.

“this is what you wanted,” he hisses, nose in your hair, his wide body trapping you to the couch, “don’t you fuckin’ complain later- fuckin’, shittt,” he groans, pulling back out slightly and getting sucked in by your silken walls. the living room has gotten 100 degrees hotter and he wants to blame you so badly, but you moan out his name wantonly, one hand around his own that’s slightly bruising against your neck and he’s putty.

“hurts so good,” you finally get out, toes curling when the tip of his cock hits against that honeyed spot. “jus’- jus’ like that,” you slur, legs shaking and thrashing when you feel katsuki’s hand slip between your bodies.

all he can focus on is how fast you got sloppy for him, the conjoining of your bodies, if only fleeting, is getting to him, if the clench of his balls has anything to say about it. his hand finds your throbbing pearl and a straying pointer fingers rubs on it firmly in broad, confident circles, and you choke, eyes crossing.

your body stiffens and you’re not even sure you’re speaking a coherent language at this point, but you garble out something along the lines of “i love you,” and “i can’t take it,” and a contradicting “like that, katsuki.”

behind you, he’s thrusting even harder and rubbing faster at your clit, pressing down with ferocity and you’re not even sure what you’re begging for anymore, the tension in your bladder rising. even in the midst of a second, impending orgasm do you turn and try to kiss him, which he gladly accepts, tongue delving into your mouth and he inevitably hunches, grunting and huffing, red faced and shooting ropes of thick cum inside of you.

that’s when your second one hits, and it’s even heavier than the last, sprays of liquid hitting your boyfriend’s lower abdomen and you squeal, hips gyrating and katsuki doesn’t slow until you’re basically limp, collapsed against the softness of his sofa.

he kisses your head, pulling out and you gasp at the exit. no words are shared as he brandishes a damp cloth from somewhere - he must’ve gotten up in your daze, you didn’t even know he had left from behind you at all, and it makes you sigh, cheeks resting against the armrest.

katsuki cleans you up in typical, sweetheart fashion, passing you a blanket and your clothes like he always does after a romp, and it’s only when he makes you sit up so you can eat a banana and drink a glass of cold, fresh water do you say something.

“so i take that you’re not going back into work?”

katsuki’s eyebrows shoot up into his hairline, and he looks away from you, pouting. you think he’s not going to say anything till he scoffs a short moment later, “…’s not like i had much to do today anyway… i’ll catch up with those idiots later.”

you don’t bite back your smile this time and he pulls you into his chest. “you better wipe that shit eating grin off ya face.”

“or what? you threatening me with a good time?” you giggle, wiggling your brows and he opens his mouth to bark back until you move your hips slightly and hiss.

“what was that?” he questions and you ignore him. he groans, swiping a hand across his face,“…y/n, i-”

“‘m not complaining!… but i would be lying if i said it’s not a little sore- hey!”

katsuki wraps you up in his arms, blanket strewn.

“what are you-”

“since ‘m taking the rest of the day off, might as well go clean up and have a bath… remind me to never listen to you again.”

“hey! it’s not my fault you’re such a brute,” you laugh as he kisses your face, walking up the stairs.

“not so hard!” you hiss in pain, “‘m sore!”

yeah. remind katsuki to never listen to you when you’re horny.

࿄ ! — all rights reserved © MOOMINSUKI 2024. please do not copy, translate, repost nor recommend my work outside of tumblr. this is strictly prohibited

[casscainmainly]

My Top 10 Batgirl (2000) Moments

This is my list of top 10 Batgirl (2000) moments!! There were so many to choose from, but these are my personal favs :)). Counting down from 10 to my absolute favourite.

10. Volving

An absolute classic. Perfectly encapsulates what Cass does throughout the entire run, and more writers should play with Cass' use of language like this!

9. Beat Up Every Mob In Gotham

Perfect encapsulation of the early Barbara-Cass dynamic, and one of the funniest moments in the series. Just love the expressions and the way this shows so much of Cass' character.

8. Choosing to Write

The entirety of issue #2 builds up to this heart-wrenching moment. After delivering a dead man's final message to his wife, Cass sees the wife's reaction to the written message and decides to learn to write. A foundational moment for her character, and a nice motherly Babs scene too.

7. Alpha Redemption

Capping off issues 35 + 36, Batgirl unmasks herself to convince Alpha (an amnesiac villain) that he doesn't have to be defined by his past. Brilliantly displays her core belief that people can change, and the fact that her belief pays off makes this moment extremely moving.

6. For God's Sake

Possibly a controversial pick, but I really like this moment because it underscores some of the fundamental conflict between Babs and Cass. They love each other, but they don't always understand each other, particularly in regards to each other's disabilities. A painful moment that should have been explored more.

5. Fight For Your Life

My favourite Stephanie and Cass moment in this run. You can feel Cass' grief throughout this hallucination, but there's also so much hope and love (for Stephanie and for herself). It's an amazing conclusion to Cass' initial suicidal tendencies: instead of desiring death, she now actively fights to live.

4. Darknight Detectives

This interaction sums up a lot of Bruce and Cass' best moments. Cass' unwavering moral beliefs, Bruce's pride, their instinctive understanding of each other; they just get each other in a way few others do. I picked this one instead of the 'instinct/good answer' moment because it also marks Cass' development in her detective ability. From Moment 8 above to here, the confidence in her mental capacities has grown so much. She really volved!

3. Perfect For A Year

I mean of course this had to be here. These lines literally take up 90% of my brain space, it's an incredibly tense moment that illustrates Cass' desire to be perfect, her need to be useful and good. This issue is also just awesome.

2. You're... Not

Another absolute classic. Illustrates Cass' compassion and her belief that people aren't defined by their lineage, which is particularly personal to her, given her own dad. This struggle between good/bad, parent/child defines many of Cass' best stories.

1. Who Do You Think You Are? + Father's Day

What else would number 1 be?? Issue 33 is my favourite in the entire run, and the entire thing is stacked with moments that could fill up this list. I just love 'who do you think you are' because it's all of Cass' rage spilling out, and yet she still loves David Cain in her own complicated way (and he reciprocates, too). Then we have the ending, which is the BEST Bruce and Cass moment ever. The sparse, meaningful dialogue, the expressions, the reveal of the TITLE: comic book writing at its finest.

Honorary mention to the Shiva/Cass fight, which just narrowly missed out.

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

Spellbound

you might be void of feelings i fear i haven’t felt for anyone

synopsis// by no means did you hate soulmates, you just hated that he was your soulmate. not like megumi was ecstatic that he was your soulmate either. but that’s fine, both of you found someone else to keep you company.

status// finished!

updates// everyday unless said otherwise

warning// dating app!au, soulmate!au, college!au, no curses!au, enemies(?) to lovers, profanity, megumi and y/n are edgy pieces of shit <3, kys jokes, crack humor? i’m going back to my cringe 2020 smau roots with reaction images id say i’m sorry but i’m not, if any characters or dynamics r ooc take that up with the universe not me !!

☆ this smau wasn’t inspired by a song but the title was!! ‘twas inspired by spell strike by provoker, so besides the title and lyrics on here the song holds little to no relevance :) ☆

you might be the only one

might be the only one for me

feeling 1. young and stupid

feeling 2. child of divorce

feeling 3. no schedule just vibes

feeling 4. six feet under

feeling 5. this is my fight song

feeling 6. success rate

feeling 7. lone wolf

feeling 8. dumpster fire

feeling 9. retail therapy

feeling 10. be normal

feeling 11. the enemy has been defeated

feeling 12. enemies to lovers irl

feeling 13. exorcism

feeling 14. shut ur up

feeling 15. winner

feeling 16. hip hip hooray

feeling 17. swiped right!

feeling 18. silly little mystery

feeling 19. for no reason

feeling 20. i guess so

feeling 21. sigh of relief

feeling 22. relationship territory

feeling 23. don’t hmu

feeling 24. major in loser

feeling 25. fight club

feeling 26. jigsaw

feeling 27. ghosting

feeling 28. cold shoulder

feeling 29. before marriage

feeling 30. meant to be

feeling 31. a hunch

feeling 32. survival of the fittest

feeling 33. he knows

feeling 34. so close yet so far

feeling 35. (disrespectfully)

feeling 36. regressing

feeling 37. take pity

feeling 38. telepathy

feeling 39. betrayed

feeling 40. two birds with one stone

feeling 41. dead end

feeling 42. mass hysteria

feeling 43. an apology

feeling 44. baby’s first reciprocated love

feeling 45. psychological warfare

feeling 46. jealous

feeling 47. a facade

feeling 48. learning to coexist

feeling 49. with you

feeling 50. useless E information

feeling 51. good idea

feeling 52. break the peace

feeling 53. enjoy the peace

feeling 54. revenge

feeling 55. tolerable

feeling 56. catastrophic

feeling 57. fumbled

feeling 58. easier than you think

feeling 59. no downtime

feeling 60. caught red handed

feeling 61. for good

feeling 62. replace megumi with megumi

feeling 63. delicate

feeling 64. best bet

feeling 65. valid question

feeling 66. devils incarnate

feeling 67. patience is a virtue

feeling 68. grow and change as a person

feeling 69. megumi truthers

feeling 70. knock on wood

feeling 71. come find me

feeling 72. cryptic

feeling 73. more than aware

feeling 74. see the future

feeling 75. trying to be nice

feeling 76. why do you hate me

feeling 77. knight in shining armor

feeling 78. perfect paradox

feeling 79. idgaf war

feeling 80. stay like this forever

feeling 81. baby bird

feeling 82. found your way back

feeling 83. heart racing

feeling 84. loverboy activities feeling 85. megumi this megumi that feeling 86. protect you feeling 87. flirt back feeling 88. wingmen feeling 89. in love with megumi allegations feeling 90. more broken feeling 91. gets shirtless again feeling 92. 1 new message!

feeling 93. protecting your peace

feeling 94. tired of waiting

last feeling. a kiss and a fight

epilogue/bonus feeling. spy

[cordeliawhohung]

Leftovers [3/3]

Simon Riley x fem!Reader | a non-canon addition to my mafia!141 series

part 1 | part 2 | playlist

you love him

warnings: non-con!!!! attempted suicide, self harm, abusive relationships, spanking/impact, threats, stalking, mind the tags!!! dead dove do not eat

wc: 5.2k

The dilapidating motel room that you were unfortunate enough to take refuge in smelled like Simon. Vaguely, anyway.

Damp air greeted you the moment you opened the door to your room, and the old, wet scent of cigarette smoke nearly suffocated you. You flipped the lights on where they greeted you with a flicker and buzz, yet hardly did anything to illuminate the dull wallpaper and discolored carpet. Every documentary about real life crime warned you against places like that; it was the type of room where people entered yet never exited without a gaping hole in their chest. 

Its unpleasant welcome nearly had you second guessing your escape, and a pang of trepidation echoed throughout your chest. Could you really subjugate yourself to a night alone and survive? Solitarily rotting in bed just like you used to as a pet? A shaky breath expelled past your lips as you tossed your bag onto the foot of the bed as you locked the door behind you. No, that was a different kind of solitude. Not one that you were forced into. Not something intentionally loveless. 

That was freedom. The only reason it terrified you was because you had never experienced it before. 

The digital clock on the nightstand read 2:36 which did little to quell the lump in your throat. If Simon wasn’t already home by then, you knew he would be soon. He would come home to an empty apartment, devoid of the woman he so fondly called sweetheart, and that made your stomach protest something fierce. You had only ever experienced short bursts of his anger previously over minor transgressions you had committed previously. Ones that you quickly solved lest he completely burst. If he had gotten upset by you merely asking to have your phone back, you didn’t even want to imagine the rage that would erupt within him when he realized you were gone. 

A heavy breath expelled from your chest as you sat on the edge of the bed. A thin layer of grime seemed to cover the sheets, but you knew you couldn’t expect anything more from one of the cheapest and low rated hotels in London. It was your own fault for trying to lay as low as possible; you weren’t sure there was enough money on your card to afford anywhere without bloodstains, anyway. Ignoring the uncomfortable filth that surely stained your clothes, you fished your phone out from your pocket where the screen lit up brighter than the light above your head. 

John’s text messages illuminated the screen, and you felt your throat grow tight again. His terrible wish for you to be there with him and Mrs. Price, and that fucking video of the ultrasound. You still weren’t fully convinced that it wasn’t all some sort of cruel joke. Simon said he had told John about everything. How you were done with them, how you were tired of being treated like nothing. So why the messages? 

Unless Simon had lied about that, too. 

An unsteady sigh passed between your lips as your thumbs hovered over the screen. While John and his wife hadn’t exactly been the most loving, they had never once lied to you. Not that you knew of, anyway. Since you couldn’t get the truth out of Simon, maybe you could get it out of them, yet the task was so daunting you swore you would throw up again. 

So you sat there, hunched over on the side of the bed with your phone in hand, until the red glow of the digital clock read just past three in the morning. Frayed nerves hindered your brain’s ability to hold a coherent thought, and you had spent so much time sitting there trying to think of something to say that your phone was nearly dead. Nothing good would come out of a conversation with John that late in the night, if he was still even awake. With lethargic thumbs, you typed out a quick message asking him to call you in the morning, and then the screen went dark as you locked it. 

Answers. That’s all you wanted. But your fuzzy and exhausted brain couldn’t handle that. You had spent the last few hours running like your life depended on it — running like a bad pet. Come morning, you would get what you wanted. In the meantime, you would pray sleep would take you away. 

That night was the first night that you slept fully dressed since you started living with Simon. Always had to have you bare with your naked body up against his while you slept. Such easy access to your cunt all he had to do was slither his hands between your legs to get you purring like a kitten. Some poor touch-starved creature that would do anything for the attention of something with teeth too sharp to love properly. 

You tried not to think too hard about it as you set your phone face down on the nightstand and settled into bed. You weren’t brave enough to climb underneath the covers in the fear that something truly might bite you, so you curled up like a cat on top of the comforter. The lights stayed on that night, as it had been so long since you slept alone you weren’t sure you could stomach the darkness. Childish. That thought made you cringe, but that’s what you had been reduced to. Maybe it was all you had ever been. 

When you hugged your pillow tight to your core that night, the full weight of the silence around you made your eyes sting. There was no heartbeat to lull you to sleep that night. It was one of the things you remembered craving so dearly when you lived with the Prices, something Simon had provided you without question. You wanted to cry. To mourn the things you had and the things you lost, but you refused to let those walls see your tears. 

Once your eyes closed, you swore you only slept for a single moment before they opened to find the summer sun peeking through the tacky curtains. A dull ache in your neck blossomed and radiated from the back of your skull to your shoulder blades, and the sour smell of smoke had permeated into your clothes and hair. Rolling over to stare at the digital clock revealed that it was just before seven in the morning. You had hardly gotten any sleep at all, yet you already buzzed with anticipation and uneasiness. 

An anxious hand reached for your phone where you quickly checked through your notifications. Several junk notifications clogged up your phone since you turned it on. Old emails that you hadn’t checked in months and stupid spam call notifications from weeks back. But John had yet to respond to your text, or even see it, and though that ignited a pit of worry in your stomach, you knew you had to give him time. He always got home late. Him and Mrs. Price probably slept in. 

You hated that you still had their routine so ingrained in your mind. 

No matter. There was a plan you had in your mind; steps you had to take in order to really be free from your old life. The first step was getting clean, and then getting the fuck out of there. 

Time didn’t exist in the shower, and neither did the water bill. You had quite the time watching droplets of water dance on the foggy glass door as you stood underneath the stream's embrace. Each time one fell, another formed to take its place before falling too, like some neverending dance. You watched the streaks form as you washed your body with the skin stripping complimentary body wash the motel left on the counter. It hardly got sudsy, and it didn’t leave you feeling refreshed, but it replaced that stale smoke scent with the vague idea of green apples, and that was enough for you. 

A thick veil of mist greeted you when you exited the shower, and you blindly nabbed a towel to dry your body off with. Its fabric wasn’t at all kind on your skin either, yet you still found yourself wrapping it around your body before exiting the bathroom. The sun had changed positions in the room as the morning meandered along, and you found yourself praying that John had finally answered you as you entered the main part of the room. 

“Mornin’ sweetheart.” 

Simon sat on the edge of the motel bed with his elbows on his knees. A dim light illuminated the silvery scars on his face as he scrolled through the phone in his hands. Your phone. His dark eyes broke away from the screen to look up at you, and the twitch in the corner of his mouth left your mouth dry. He turned the screen to face you where he then gently shook it as if it were contraband; something you weren’t supposed to have. Though you couldn’t read what it said, you could see John had responded to your request to call him. 

“You’ve been busy. Been naughty,” Simon continued as he turned your phone off and tossed it next to him. “Didn’t even leave a note. Just think you could up and leave?”

Your hands gripped the knot in your towel as your body began to turn to stone. It was difficult to tell if you trembled because of the cool air of the room or if you trembled because of the fear that coursed through your veins. Either way, your mouth wasn’t able to form any response to his biting tone. 

At your silence, Simon tapped his fingertips on top of your phone, causing it to lightly bounce on the old boxspring mattress. “Decided you had enough of me? Is that it? Wanting to go back to John? Go back to bein’ a fuckin’ pet?” 

“No,” you said once your tongue finally decided to work. “I just… wanted answers.” 

“Well, I’m all ears for any questions you have, sweetheart,” Simon snapped. 

His tone had you recoiling against the wall, yet you refused to look away from him. If you did, you knew it would give him enough time to pounce like an animal, and he looked almost excited to sink his teeth into you. It was wrong. You thought you would have had more time. Simon wasn’t supposed to find you that quick; no, he wasn’t supposed to find you at all. Yet there he sat, on the edge of your bed, like an owner trying to wrangle a bad dog back home. 

“How did you find me?” you asked. 

“You used a card. Anything electronic is easy to track, ‘specially in a place like this. All it took was me saying I was your husband to get the lad at the front to give me your room number. Surprised you made it this far on your own, considering how pathetic you are without me,” he said with a sour chuckle. 

“My card?” you repeated. “But… you don’t- how do you have access to my account? You can’t track me without-”

“One of the perks of working for John Price,” Simon deadpanned. 

Every word that came out of Simon’s mouth unraveled you, and it only got worse. It was as if everything he had ever told you was a lie. How naive of you to think otherwise; of course they were lies. He had lied to you from the very beginning, and instead of running then while your feet were unchained, you chose to ignore it. Hope and pray it would go away. Now, it was too late. Every part of you seemed bound to Simon, and you weren’t sure you could stand to tear yourself from him. 

“I thought you said-” you started. 

“That I wasn’t working for him anymore? That I told him how you chose to live with me? No,” Simon interrupted. “He’s got too many resources. Besides, no one just ups and leaves the mafia, sweetheart.” 

Your bottom lip began to tremble at that word. Mafia. Everyone knew about the violence that plagued London, even someone as much of a recluse as you. You didn’t want to believe him, but it made sense. Why else did John always work late? Why else would he come home some days with scuffed up knuckles? Besides, he only ever seemed to tell the truth when he tried to prod a response out of you. Simon’s smirk was faint but painfully noticeable in the crease of his lips as he tilted his head at you. 

“Yeah, figured he didn’t tell you about that,” he huffed. “No one leaves. Not even pets. Not even you. Who do you think was protectin’ you from him this whole time? Who do you think removed his tracker in your phone? Why do you think we always used my money to pay for everything? If it wasn’t for me, you’d be right back where you started. Unloved, neglected and fuckin’ abused.” 

His words cut you to pieces worse than anything else ever had. It was worse than learning Mrs. Price was pregnant. Worse than the first time Simon had ever lied to you. Hot, fat tears rolled down your cheeks while your throat constricted so tightly you swore you would choke. You made the mistake of looking away from Simon as a small sob rattled your shoulders. In a pitiful attempt to comfort yourself, you wrapped your arms around your front, keeping your towel in place as your knees nearly buckled. 

Out of the frying pan and into the fire. 

Simon’s feet were surprisingly soft against the stiff carpet of the motel room, and it took everything in you not to lean into his touch. Warm fingers ghosted against your arms, and something primal and pathetic yearned for more. But you didn’t miss him. Not Simon Riley. You just missed the warmth of someone else; warmth you were certain you could find in someone less hurtful. 

“C’mon, sweetheart,” Simon urged. His thumbs rubbed against your shoulders, and something that should have felt like knives in your skin felt all too comforting instead. “Let’s go home.” 

Some broken part of you wanted to say yes. To slap the band-aid back on and continue to let those pathetic feelings fester inside of you with no air to breathe. It would have been easy to say yes, to follow him back home like a wounded animal and continue to live in your cage. But you were so close to freedom, to living on your own without the need to be chained to anyone else. 

You didn’t bother to wipe your tears before looking at Simon. He was so close you could feel the heat radiating off of him, making your skin feel clammy. A few more tears blinked free from your eyes, staining your cheeks like glitter as you stiffened your upper lip. 

“I can’t,” you finally said, though the words felt like they would kill you. “I don’t want to. I… just wanna be left alone.” 

Simon’s face began to morph in front of your eyes. All that softness in his expression hardened into something more firm and demanding; dissapointment. It wasn’t until your back hit the wall that you realized your choice had already been decided for you. No wasn’t an answer. Neither was yes. It had only ever been what Simon had already chosen for you. 

“Wasn’t asking,” he warned. 

His grip seared your skin through your towel as his hands rested on your hips, but you had nowhere to run. Useless hands pressed against his chest as you tried to fight back against the immoveable object that was Simon Riley. Hot breath fanned across your face when he pressed his forehead to yours, and you tried not to flinch when he yanked your towel off of your body, tossing it aside where it fell in a limp pile by your feet. 

“C’mon, you’re smarter than this, arent’cha?” he prompted. Simon began to move backwards, and his firm grip on your waist gave you no choice but to stumble after him. Shame pricked the corners of your ears with a searing heat as he dragged you around, naked, like a dog on a leash. “If you don’t come home, Price’ll find ya. You understand that, yeah sweetheart? I’m the only thing keeping you from an early fuckin’ grave.” 

All it took was a simple turn and a harsh shove to get you face first on the bed. The mattress was unforgiving as it hardly gave way underneath your weight, knocking the breath from your lungs. Sweaty palms dug into the crummy comforter as you tried to push yourself up, but once Simon’s knees sunk into the mattress next to you, his hand pushed against the back of your neck, keeping your face into the bed. 

“Simon!” you cried. “Wait- please stop. I’m sorry! I just- please don’t. Please, I didn’t mean to upset you I just- there had to be a reason for it! For them to treat me like that!”

Ignoring your pleas, Simon snaked an arm underneath your hips and pulled up, putting your ass on display. An angry hand rested on the crux of your bum where his fingers twitched with anticipation. 

“A reason? It’s because they saw you as a fuckin’ pet. Nothin’ more than an animal to feed and play with,” Simon bit. “Until I found ya. Saved you from that shit, didn’t I sweetheart? Then you fuckin’ run out on me. Ruinin’ everything I worked so hard to build for ya. Ungrateful slag.” 

“Please stop!” you sobbed, cries half muffled by the bed. 

He allowed you no more time to continue to snivel before his hand raised from your bum only to slap against it with a firm palm. Its sting pierced through your skin with such force it stole your breath away, and with Simon’s hand still on the back of your neck, you had nowhere to run from the pain. Your chest heaved with a sob at the sensation, and you felt your feet involuntarily kick behind you. 

“Quiet,” he warned, voice dangerously low. “Don’t need you causin’ anymore trouble than you already have.” 

Once more his hand came down with a sharp crack where pain prickled across your skin. In some pitiful attempt to ward him off, you reached your arms behind your back as if you could push him away. All it did was make him chuckle as his thumb rubbed against the back of your neck. 

“Yeah, ‘nuff of that. Of all of it. I’ll set you straight and take you home and we can forget all about this little stunt of yours,” Simon hummed. 

Despite it all, your body could only react viscerally to the thought of returning home with him. That was the day you were supposed to become your own person without being bound to anyone else. Go out on your own and finally live your life as a human rather than a trophy. You were so close to tasting it you could scream. 

“I can’t. I can’t…” you whined. 

Another spank and your thoughts cut off with a squeak. 

“Don’t fuckin’ understand anythin’ do you?” Simon hissed. “Either you leave here with me, or you leave as John’s. He’ll find and track you within a heartbeat, and he won’t be as kind as me. Dunno about you sweetheart, but I’m not gonna sit around and let him take you again. So you leave here with me, or you don’t leave at all.” 

Not a single word rose in your mind at his threat. Tears and snot continued to stain the linens underneath you as you took his punishment, and as his hand came down on you once more, you started to believe that you deserved it. Every single bit of it. How ungrateful of you to deny him after everything he had done for you. Keeping you safe. Keeping you away from John. From the worst members of the mafia. Everything he had ever done had been to protect you, right? 

“Did you really think I’d let you run off like that? After everythin’ I've done for you?” he continued. His weight shifted on the bed as he slipped from your side to your backside. With his hand no longer on your neck, you were able to take a deep breath, though the air felt stale and salty. “No, my girl doesn’t run away. Not the mother of my kid.” 

Ice formed in your veins at his words, and you were too shocked to even cry about it. You blinked rapidly as you raised your head from the bed, and your stomach turned so violently you nearly puked all over the sheets. 

“What?” you choked out. 

Simon’s hands rubbed over your sore rump as if soothing the pain he inflicted on you only to fall from your skin a moment later. A sharp, distinct clink sounded behind you, followed by the unzipping of his pants. 

“It’s what you wanted, wasn’t it?” he asked as he pulled his cock free. “You said it yourself. You want what they have.” 

Electricity jolted through your body when the head of Simon’s pre-cum smeared cock tapped the underside of your ass. Your breath hitched in your throat as he grabbed your hips and raised you higher up, angling you just right so he could press against your cunt. Everything in you screamed to run, but the prey in you knew you wouldn’t get far enough for it to matter. 

“You wanted love, so I gave you that. They never fucked you, so I gave you that, too. Just wasn’t enough for you, was it?” Simon droned as he pressed into you. Without your arousal to assist, the stretch of him not only burned, but felt like it tore. Only the head of his cock had made it inside of your constricting cunt, and even that was too much. “Still cryin’ all the time. Still upset. The only thing that they have that we don’t is a kid. If you want one so bad, then I’ll give ya one.” 

“Wait, please,” you choked out as you wiggled. 

“What’cha so worked up for, sweetheart?” Simon patronized. “With how often I’ve fucked you before, you’re probably already knocked up anyway. No harm in trying a bit more, yeah?” 

It was impossible to answer once Simon began to press further into you. Everything within you was wound up so tight with muscles revolting against him as he made you take every painful inch of him. His love had never hurt like that before. Never felt like it tore you open to fix what was never broken in the first place. Not until then as he speared you open with no regard for the way it ripped you to shreds. 

It only got worse when he bottomed out, forcing your cunt to take what it didn’t want to. His hips snapped against yours with force so strong you were left breathless. Each agonizing thrust left you a mess as half created sobs erupted from your throat. No amount of begging would get him to change his mind or set you free. This was what you deserved for biting the hand that fed you. 

“This is what you want, isn’t it?” Simon grunted. Searing anger kept his body going as he fucked you, hands digging into either side of your hips. “A man to fuck you. To be the sweet little trophy wife. Have a cute kid or two. Isn’t it? Say it, sweetheart.” 

But you couldn’t. Even if it wasn’t for his cock bullying every breath from your lungs, you didn’t think you would be able to admit to anything. So you dug your face further into the sheets, no longer caring about the filth of it all; you just wanted to hide away as best as you could. Simon wasn’t impressed with your silence, and his hand came down hard against your backside as his relentless pace continued. You could almost feel his blood boiling in his veins from his touch alone. 

“I said, say it,” he barked. “Tell me what you want.” 

Agonizing aches ripped through your pelvis at the intrusion, and you found your hands pawing at your stomach as if you could soothe the pain. There was no love behind any of his actions. Perhaps there never had been. You just knew that you wanted it to stop. 

“You!” you finally wailed. “I want you!” 

“‘Course you do. Can’t fuckin’ live without me, can you sweetheart?”

It was enough to satisfy Simon, and he stopped verbally antagonizing you as he continued in his pursuit. Trembling fingers dug into the sheets as you kept your face hidden in the musty bed. It couldn’t go on forever, and as Simon’s hips began to stutter, you knew it would be over soon. You did your best to stifle your whimpering as he approached the end, yet he only seemed to pick up speed as if to egg you on. 

In that moment, your mind painfully reminded you of the first time you ever met him. How he just appeared in your life sitting on the living room couch as if he had always known you. You wished that you had never obeyed John that night. Never allowed Simon’s arm to wrap around you as he intertwined your lives together to the point you could no longer undo the knots. It was too late for regret. You were bound to him, soul, mind, and soon to be body. 

“Fuck.” 

Simon’s groan was deep in his throat as he remained fully sheathed inside of you while his cock twitched unabashed against the screaming walls of your cunt. The aches only got worse as he kept himself pressed up against your bruised cervix, but you bore it as he gave you every last drop of his spend. 

There was nothing left to keep your rump up in the air when Simon pulled out and away from you, and you collapsed on the bed as a mess of sticky flesh. His chuckle, once so soothing and melodic, sounded like nails on a chalkboard as he fixed his pants behind you. The bed rocked with his weight as he sat with his back turned to you, yet you paid no mind to it as you squeezed your eyes shut. You prayed that if you squeezed them tight enough, something would whisk you away and take you far, far away from that fucking motel room and away from Simon Riley. 

But you never had such luck before. 

That stale scent of cigarette smoke only grew stronger as Simon lit a fresh one. His chest expanded as he took a hefty drag, and you hoped that the ash would fall onto the carpet and burn the whole building to the ground. Half the cigarette burned by the time he turned around to face your motionless body on the bed. He cooed as he reached out for you, fingers gently raising your chin so that he could lean forward and press a kiss against your limp lips. A little bit of smoke still lingered in his mouth, and when you opened your eyes you tried to pretend that they watered because of the burn rather than the pain. 

“Ready to go home, sweetheart?” 

You didn’t remember if you fought against him when you got in the car. You didn’t remember anything. It was a complete mystery how you ended back up in Simon’s bed in that apartment, naked just how he liked you. All you knew was that everything hurt, and he had won. The next few weeks consisted of nothing but an incomplete recollection, like you looked at your memories through shattered glass. There was a vague memory of him bathing you in the shower, and another one of him feeding you by hand. It was all disconnected. Unreal. 

Your body didn’t belong to you anymore. Maybe it never did. You had become an outsider, watching that useless hunk of flesh meander around an apartment you were too tired to escape from. There was nothing in the world that would save you from whatever curse that was wrought upon you; that Simon Riley. 

The only thing you could somewhat remember were your dreams. One night, you dreamt you hid yourself away in the bathroom. It angered Simon, for some reason you couldn’t articulate. Mean hands pounded against the wood of the door as if he tried to break it down, all while he demanded you open it. You remembered voicing how you wanted to go home; how you just wanted to sleep. There was some deep dark feeling harbored inside of you that you couldn’t purge with your hands alone. 

When the door finally came down, you suddenly were no longer in the bathroom. It was cold, but you were wrapped in more blankets than you could count while Simon wrapped bandages around your arms. They felt like cuffs. Like they were more chains to keep you tethered to him, yet you didn’t fight. You couldn’t fight. You knew not to anymore, because bad pets always got punished. 

“Not leavin’ me yet, sweetheart. Not like this,” he mumbled. 

Those bandages were still on your arms the next day, and you realized it had never been a dream at all. Just another bit of your life that was too fuzzy to fully experience. It was then that you finally realized that not even Death Himself could save you from Simon Riley. Nothing could. 

It wasn’t until you were in the bathroom again that you were slammed back into your body. Each sensation that had felt so terribly numb before suddenly became painfully sharp. A terrible ache buzzed throughout your arms, stomach, and head the moment you returned to yourself. Something had stolen your conscience for a while just to kick it back in that silly brain of yours the moment it was bored, and your entire body grew cold with stark realization at what was in your hands. A pregnancy test, with two faint little lines that smiled up at you. 

Adverting your gaze from that terrible object gave you no solace as you were met with the stomach-churning image of yourself in the mirror. Between the red veins that strained in your eyes and the peeling skin on your lips, you hardly recognized yourself. Still, Simon saw past all the broken parts of you as he stood behind you, hands snaking around to your front to grab your stomach. He was much too comforting for the pain that grew in your body. 

“My sweet girl,” he whispered as he kissed the top of your head. 

He breathed in your scent and you wondered if he could pick up on the notes of rot that laid underneath the smell of shampoo and product. He had killed you a long time ago, at least some part of you, and left it to fester and decay in a place you couldn’t heal. With shaky hands, you placed the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter as you let Simon pull you against his chest. His warmth threatened to engulf you, but you knew nothing would ever burn hot enough to ignite that smothered flame inside of you. 

“I love you,” he whispered. 

With a voice as empty as your eyes, you replied: “I love you, too.”

[suhkusa]

EGOIST 16.

PAIRING. Atsumu Miya x f!Reader

CW. fluff, slight feelings

A/N. cute or naw

-> MASTERLIST.

There’s one month left to prepare for the Championships, yet here you were snoozing on, pro-volleyball player, Atsumu Miya’s floor.

“Y/N,” he calls, “Wake up,”

It’s bright, when you wake up, the sun is already shining high in the sky.

“Holy shit, what time is it?”

He looks behind him then back down at you, “2:36,”

This causes you to jump up, “And you didn’t wake me up?”

“No,” he says, “I ordered food, hurry up before it gets cold,”

Your face scrunches up at his reply, “No Atsumu, I need to go home,” your body aches as you make your way onto your feet.

Atsumu looks back at you with a dead serious look before saying, “You owe me a date,” before stalking off back into the living room.

Fuck.

———

After locating the extra toothbrushes in Atsumu’s bathroom, you follow the smell of the food into his living room. You couldn’t really see it last night since it was so dark, but his house is nice. But that’s to be expected from someone who’s a pro-volleyball player.

“I just order pizza and wings, if that’s alright?”

You make a noise in confirmation before finding a seat next to him on the couch, you reach out to grab a slice of pizza.

“This is your idea of a date?” you ask, taking a bite of the pizza.

“Mm, well, yeah,” he finishes the bite in his mouth before continuing, “The other ones will be fancier and more planned out though, so don’t worry,”

“Other ones?” your eyebrow raises at his choice of words.

You can tell even Atsumu caught himself off guard, hesitating before attempting to correct himself, “I mean like, if we were to hangout again with the guys,”

Shaking your head, you let out a breathy laugh before continuing to finish the slice.

Atsumu grabs his remotes and throws on the latest Rom-Com that had come out. 

“Ew, you’re a sap,”

“I have feelings, too, you know?”

Yep.

“So, do you plan on renewing your contract with Jackals after this season?” you attempt to start another conversation.

“Work talk? Really? While you’re with me?”

“Yes, because there’s nothing else to talk about,”

“Let’s just watch the movie,” he turns his attention back to the TV, “but yes, I am,”

You nod your head at that before also turning your head to the TV. 

You never considered yourself much of a romantic, which makes a lot of sense since you couldn’t help but fall asleep through the movie. You felt a little bad though, especially when Atsumu shook you awake every now and then to see if you were paying attention. 

It was surprisingly not too bad to be around him. Especially when he wasn’t throwing insults or profanity at you. This was a side to Atsumu Miya you never expected to see. 

“You’re not, like, plotting against me, right?” you say through sleepy eyes.

“What, no? What do you even mean?” his eyes tear off the TV for a brief second.

“Like, you’re not treating me all good, claiming you like me, as some sick joke?”

You see his ears turn red, he probably forgot that he confessed while drunk.

“No,” he hesitated before keeping a straight face, “I like you, for real,”

“And I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I’ll always be sorry to you for what I put you through,”

His words reach the younger you that’s deep inside of you. The words that she never heard finally being spoken, and it’s somewhat healing.

“You never deserved that,” he looks forlorn as he stares at you, “And if I could take it all back, I would,”

“I-” you’re at a loss of words. 

Maybe it was time to forgive him. If what he was saying was true and genuine, then he really meant every word that came out of his mouth.

“It’s fine, Atsumu. We can just put it behind us. I appreciate your words,” 

It was a burden to carry this baggage all throughout your life. It finally felt like it was right to let it all go now. 

“Thank you,” you smiled up at him. 

Forgive but never forget.

———

During the next month leading up to Championships, Atsumu took every chance he would get to sweep you off your feet. 

It might’ve been working. 

He’d come over after practices (even uninvited) to help you organize and take your notes, or sometimes you’d go to his (against your will) to watch movies or play card games. Good morning and good night texts being sent daily. 

It’d never escalate. Never. If something was going to happen, it was going to take time and more inner healing. 

You hate to admit it, but there was a chance you were falling for Atsumu. You hated it so badly. You know you in the past would murder present you for even considering him. But you now feels like it’s not so bad being in his presence.

It’s sad though. Ever since you began talking to Atsumu, it felt like the distance between you and Kiyoomi increased. You still try to text him as much as you possibly can, but it’d take days before he would get back to you.

You suppose it happens.

Atsumu is relentless with his advances, though. Sometimes annoyingly so. Every time he shows up at your door with flowers, popping the question will you be my girlfriend? You’re quick to shut him down with a hard no.

If Atsumu Miya wants you he’s going to have to be patient. It’s the least he could do.

“I don’t know why you say no, we’ve known each other for so long, since high school,” he pouts, looking up at you as he relaxes his head in your lap.

“Did you forget you bullied me for half of that time?” you smile down at him.

His silence is a response in itself. “Thought so,”

———

“Alright guys,” Coach Foster starts, “tomorrow is the big day,”

“I just want to say you guys have been working hard all season, and I’m so proud to have seen all of you grow,”

Some of the guys fake aw at the coach’s words.

“We’ll leave at 6AM tomorrow for the big stage, be there or fend for yourselves,” with a clap of his hands, “Practice dismissed,”

Atsumu is quick to run over to you, using a strong arm to wrap around you and pull you close.

“You ready for tomorrow?”

“Agh, let me go Atsumu!”

He laughs before letting you go, watching as you pat yourself down.

You blow your hair out of your face before finally responding, “I think the real question is are you ready?” you smirk.

“Duh, when am I not?”

“Hah,” you pull your bag onto your shoulder, “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow,”

“Let me walk you out,” he runs to grab his stuff before catching back up to you. 

“So what do you say we hangout tonight?”

“I say no,” you grin, “I have to wake up early tomorrow and so do you,”

“No fun, Y/N,” he whines. 

“Whatever you can miss the bus on your own,” you say as you unlock your car.

He scoots you over to open your car door for you.  

“You’re disgusting,” you laugh, “thanks, though,”

“Of course, get home safely,”

“Mhm, goodnight, Atsumu,” 

He watches as you buckle your seatbelt, giving him a small wave before you switch the gear and pull away.

Atsumu was in deep.

© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.

[soobnny]

end of the day — law student kim seungmin x med student yn. established relationship. comfort.

you come home after a long, tiring shift to your bf (0.8k words)

warning. mentioned minor character death. hospital terms.

It’s late when you get back to your apartment from the hospital. The bustle of the city had long died down, and the only sound you could hear was from the gentle pitter patter of the rain’s leftovers, the train from a distance, and the horrifying sob of a mother who had just lost her daughter echoing in your ears from just a few hours ago.

The bleeding was too severe in her brain, and even after 36 hours, there were still no brainstem reflexes. She was pronounced brain dead after some time. You can still remember the way it hurt you—the look on her mother’s face, slowly losing her composure. That break in her features. Loss will never be easy.

Sighing, you tuck away the pain as you kick off the white shoes you’re wearing from your numb feet. You never got used to the night shift duties, and you suppose you never will. For now, you just wanted to hop into the shower, eat something, and get some sleep. You’re afraid that if you think about it more, you’d start crying.

“Hey, doc.” Your attention shifts to the voice from your living room. “How was your shift?”

Seungmin has a bad habit of hugging you even when you've just come from the hospital. And you suppose the right thing to do would be to push him away, the way you usually do, scold him for threatening himself with nosocomial infection, but after the 36 hours you had, you find you can’t bring yourself to do it.

It’s how Seungmin knows to tighten his grip around you. Almost like he knows.

(He does. He has you and your entire heart memorized.)

“Never gets easier.” You sigh, face planted on his firm chest. He’s wearing a white shirt that’s a little big for even him, and it’s a little lopsided that it reveals a bit of his collarbones. His messy hair is indicative of having studied before he heard you unlock the door. “I wish there was more that I could do.”

“You’re studying and working so hard, and that’s enough right now.” He whispers, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Have you eaten?”

You shake your head. You don’t remember the last time you were able to get a proper meal during your shift.

“You didn’t eat yet?”

Seungmin would’ve scolded you had you not been so exhausted. He had always been the number one advocate of your health, always reminding you to eat on time, drink the required amount of water a day, but he knew his scolding was the last thing that you needed right now, only quietly asking for a bit of his comfort.

“Let’s eat, okay?” He asks you, soothing your hair down and carefully leading the pair of you to the kitchen. “I cooked a lot tonight cause I knew you were coming home.”

“Am I disturbing you? You must’ve been studying.”

“Hm? No, no. I was taking a break anyway.” Seungmin reassures.

“How was your recitation about that case study?” You suddenly ask, just as he sits you down on the table.

He pops your food in the microwave, reheating it for you, and he laughs quietly to himself. How kind of you to remember even when you’d been busy. It had been something Seungmin studied very hard for, something he was anxious about a few days prior.

“It was good.” He smiles, patiently waiting for the microwave to beep. When it does, he sets the food in front of you with a glass of water before taking a seat next to you. “Eat well, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, Minnie.”

“You must be so tired.” Seungmin frowns, brushing a few strands of your hair away from your face and tucking it neatly behind your ear.

You had shaken your head when he called you out for your exhaustion, but your eyes begged to differ, threatening to close every once in a while.

It’s quiet the rest of the time that you eat, which is only a good few minutes. Your stomach must’ve been craving for food all this time. Seungmin takes note of preparing you a few meals to bring to your next shift. He’d done it a few times, but has had to take a momentary pause due to the business of his schedule.

“Are you gonna go to bed too?” You sound guilty when you ask him, and it’s adorable the way you look at him with doe eyes. Almost hopeful, but desperately trying not to show it. It’s been a while since both of your sleeping schedules have aligned.

“You go shower first while I clean up okay?”

“No. You already cooked, so I can wash the dishes. It’s the unspoken rul—“

A kiss is planted on your lips. Very effective at shutting you up.

“Just wash up, and I’ll handle the rest, hm?”

“Okay, fine.” You start to walk away before you make an abrupt halt. “Does that mean we’re going to bed together?”

Seungmin laughs. “I won’t be long.”

[adore-laur]

MOTHER’S DAY

— a self-explanatory blurb from the dadrry universe 🌷

——

Toss. Turn. Sigh. Repeat.

Postpartum anxiety kept hitting you in explosive bursts like crash cymbals. Intrusive worries about whether your newborn was breathing or not ruthlessly stormed your brain. Surging heart palpitations that ebbed and flowed like the ocean tide weren't helping your internally erratic state. 

She hadn't wailed those gut-wrenching cries in over an hour. It was a brief slot of time to catch up on your precious slumber, yet your melatonin was overrun by an influx of cortisol. Due to your ruptured sleep schedule, there was also a stinging sensation behind your eyelids. It felt like chlorine or lemon juice had seeped into your sockets ever since day and night swapped places. 

The speckled sky of stars trickled through the linen drapes, painting moonbeams on the bedroom carpet and walls. By the looks of it, you'd undoubtedly be awake to behold the moment they metamorphosed into golden rays of dawn. 

Heart thumping, stomach churning, and chest constricting, you surrendered your chance of a reposeful night of rest and silently slid out of bed. Harry was gently snoring on his side, facing away from you and dead to the world. Lucky him.

You padded over to the bassinet across the room. The moon made it visible enough to see the tiny bundle that was half you and half your husband sleeping there. Your trembling hand reached down and lightly rested on your daughter's belly. It has been a habit lately. Your eyes couldn't help but snap open in the middle of the night, the insomnia-induced anxiety getting you on your feet to check if the human you were responsible for was still alive. 

When you felt her fast breaths, relief immediately flooded your bloodstream. You stayed by her until you were at ease with the steady rise and fall of her chest, then eventually tucked yourself back under the covers and leaned against the headboard. You were wide awake now, and it seemed like it would be another all-nighter. Jealousy festered inside you because of Harry and how he could effortlessly sleep through the night without panic. He'd been so gracious with heaving himself out of bed and calming the baby whenever it was his turn—a true natural when you needed it most. And during those instances, you pretended to be asleep so you didn't worry him. It was hard enough to soothe one agitated person, let alone two. 

The digital clock on the nightstand flicked from 2:36 to 2:37. You bit your fingernails to pass the time. The weight and warmth of Harry beside you pulled you back down to earth, reminding you that you weren't doing this on your own. He was cheering you on, on the same page, and loving you unconditionally. 

Almost as if he could hear your reeling thoughts about him, you heard his snores get cut short by a deep inhale before his hand subconsciously flopped against your thigh. Fatigued fingers felt around until his warm, heavy palm spread on your skin, giving it a tender squeeze. He then rolled onto his stomach with a raspy grunt and turned his head to face you. 

In the faint moonlight, puffy eyes and a drowsy smile said hello. They greeted you with a gentleness that washed away the burdensome stones on your chest. He made you feel calm. Just one glance at him was the only solace you needed. 

He was a tired, tired boy. Technically, he was a grown man, but moments like these revealed that he was just a boy adjusting to the harsh reality of parenthood.

"Sorry for waking you," you whispered, raking your fingers through his disheveled hair. It was still a little damp from his nightly shower. 

"Did I sleep through her cries?" Harry murmured hoarsely, his eyelids drooping until they shut again. 

"No. I just got up to check on her."

He hugged your leg like it was a pillow. "Why? What happened?" 

You could've lied. Or you could've given him what he always asked of you: the whole and honest truth. The latter was the wisest choice, considering he could read you like a family recipe. 

"I had to make sure she was breathing," you admitted. 

Harry was eerily quiet. You thought he might have fallen back asleep, but suddenly, the room was illuminated in a yellow glow from the bedside lamp being switched on. It strained your vision for a few seconds, and after blearily blinking through it, you looked at Harry to find him sitting up with the silk sheets bunched around his waist. He yawned loudly, then scooted over to draw you into his body. A trace of citrus aftershave still lingered on his skin. 

"Can't sleep?" he asked, his lips moving against your temple. 

Your cheek melted on his warm, bare shoulder. "Ever since we brought her home, my anxiety has been eating me alive at night. I'm constantly worried about her, even when she's not crying." 

Harry planted chaste kisses on your face. Through slow, sleepy affection, he said, "She's okay. Nothing bad is going to happen." 

"You don't know that." 

"I know she's safe and sound, all snug in the bassinet six feet away from us." When you didn't respond, he added, "If you want, we can move it next to your side of the bed." 

You clutched his hand, loving the smoothness of his palm and how large it was compared to yours. "Can we? Please? I want her close just in case." 

Nodding, Harry brought your joined hands up to his mouth and kissed your knuckles. "Let's do it tomorrow so we don't wake her, yeah? We all need sleep right now." 

"Okay. Can you scratch my back? And talk to me." 

"Of course, sweetheart. Turn around." 

You did, and it didn't take long for him to lift your shirt so his delicate fingers could stroke along the expanse of your back. Goosebumps spread everywhere as you sank deeper into the mattress. The way his touch could envelop you in a blanket of comfort was miraculous. 

"Your postpartum checkup is in a couple of weeks," Harry mentioned, his mellow voice quickly putting a sleep spell on you. "We'll talk to the doctor about everything that's been going on, okay?" He shifted on the bed. "Listen, I get scared too. All I want is to protect her. When she cries, I feel helpless. But we're learning, aren't we? We'll be professionals by the time we're four kids in." 

You couldn't squash the craziness of his last statement because distant dream waves finally carried you away and let you drift in calm waters for the first time in a long time. 

—— 

A serenade of songbirds awoke you the following morning. Then, there was a slight breeze coming from somewhere. You soon realized there was no familiar dip in the mattress next to you, no blazing hot skin glued to you, and no soft puffs of air against your neck. You firmly decided that you loathed the feeling of a cold and empty bed in the morning. 

Stretching until your joints cracked, you squinted from the blinding sunlight gloriously casting over the side of the bed you lay on. The clock displayed 9:04, which was the latest time you had slept in since your third trimester of pregnancy. On top of the clock was a piece of paper you didn't recall seeing yesterday—the type of paper you and Harry wrote grocery items on. The familiar handwriting of your husband, which was a tad illegible but endearing nonetheless, had you reaching out and plucking the note from its place. 

Happy Mother's Day. 

Meet me on the beach when you wake up. Baby has already been changed, fed, and everything in between. Sunday breakfast on the shore, made by yours truly, awaits you. 

I love you so much. Thank you for completing me. 

~ Harry 

It entirely slipped your mind that it was Mother's Day—your first one. You'd been too caught up in a whirlwind of emotions, trying to capture a peaceful moment. Needless to say, you didn't even know what day of the week it was sometimes. Apparently, today was worth celebrating. 

After freshening up and tying a robe around yourself, you trod down the staircase. The late spring weather engulfed your senses as the kitchen came into view. The shutters were swung open, letting in gleaming sunshine and a gentle wind that felt like a welcoming embrace. It lifted your spirits instantly and caused you to temporarily forget about last night's troubles. 

You ventured to the beach area, the sand under your uncovered feet enlivening your drained state. Once the ocean became visible, you quickly stumbled upon an unexpected surprise. Harry, the human epitome of sunshine, stood there holding a tray with a vase of blooming flowers, a cup of steaming tea, and breakfast foods such as peeled clementine, poached eggs, and a golden-brown waffle drizzled with maple syrup. He was in his pinstriped pajamas, with sunglasses covering his eyes. Behind him, your daughter lay in a portable baby dome that shielded her from the sunny sky. She was sleeping on her back, her limbs bent adorably. You didn't recall hearing her cry after you finally managed to doze off last night. 

Barefoot, with a radiant smile dimpling his sun-kissed face, Harry met you halfway, setting the tray down on a nearby blanket spread out. His arms opened in invitation. You would have jumped in them if you had the energy, merely because his spontaneous thoughtfulness made you want to tackle him and never let him go—lovingly, of course. 

"Make way for the goddess," he said, taking his sunglasses off and eyeing you up and down. 

Makeup-less, half asleep, and moving at the sluggish speed of a sloth, you felt—and probably looked—far from a goddess. But when your husband looked at you like he wanted to eat you for breakfast instead, the tiniest flicker of confidence sparked inside of you. 

"Good morning," you greeted, smiling softly. 

Harry's hands instinctively splayed on your waist, his fingers digging into the cotton fabric of your robe. He was sporting a dopey expression, and you wondered if he got as little sleep as you did. 

Enduring delirious mornings with him had slowly become your favorite domestic kryptonite. When he'd crack ridiculous jokes amidst a quick, lazy round of sex before the baby interrupted, or when he would shuffle around the kitchen making an insufficient meal while accidentally putting the milk jug in the pantry out of pure exhaustion. 

"Let me guess," he said with an exhale, "you forgot it was Mother's Day?" 

You squeezed him tight and breathed in the faint smell of lavender fabric softener on his pajamas. "Can you blame me? I'm practically a zombie most days." You kissed him slowly, tasting the sweet and sticky syrup residue on his lips. "Mm, but thank you for everything. You take such good care of me." 

"Someone's got to do it," he told you, earnestness lacing his words. 

"I'm trying; I really am. Motherhood is... very grueling." 

"I know, darling. Whatever you need, let me know, and I'll help as best I can." 

You touched his cheeks, absorbing the sun's heat that graced them. "I want to take care of you too. I notice how tired you are." 

He fell into deep thought, and after staring at you for a moment with his eyes dancing over your entire face, he said, "Let's bring back date nights. When was the last time we went out, just the two of us? We can get someone to babysit, then go out on the town like we used to." 

"Can part of our date night involve taking a nap?" you asked, propping your chin on his chest. 

Harry glanced down at you, his green irises clear and happy. "Absolutely." 

"Sounds like a plan." You laughed at its absurdity. How did we go from 'I can't wait to marry you' to 'I can't wait to nap with you'? What has parenting done to us?" 

He tilted his head with a lopsided grin. "It's made me fall in love with you all over again." 

"Even when there's spit-up on my clothes?" 

"Uh-huh," he said, locking you in his hold. "And when you're burping a cranky baby while eating your first meal of the day well past noon. And when you're breastfeeding while sending work emails, your hair unbrushed, and my shirt hanging off your body. There's nothing sexier." 

Truthfully, he wasn't joking around. And you knew that one day, you'd find simplistic beauty in those things as well. 

"I'm a real sight for sore eyes." 

Harry kissed your forehead, swaying you to the sound of the waves meeting the shore and then receding. "You have no idea." 

——

[cameronspecial]

The Other Drew

Pairing: Drew Starkey x Reader

Warnings:  Getting Hit By Car, Amnesia, Almost Drowning

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.6K

Summary: Drew's crush on Y/N gets him hit by a car and causes him to lose his memories. She doesn't have the heart to tell him the truth.

A/N: This is inspired by The Other Zoey trailer drop.

Masterlist

The invisible waves from the sun steam off the pavement. She readjusts her claw clip in her hair to keep the hair off of her neck. She looks up from her textbook occasionally to watch people walk past her. The sudden sound of a ball hitting the ground and yelling coming from behind her attacks all of her senses. She is about to turn around to ask if they could shout any louder, but a sharp pain to the back of her head stops her. “Sorry, that was my fault,” a voice calls out. Y/N turns to see the voice belongs to Drew Starkey. She gives a roll of her eyes, “Well, next time, keep your balls to yourself.” He approaches closer to her and she is surprised to be overcome by the fresh and clean scent of the man, considering the sweaty dripping off of him. He lets out a deep chuckle and smirk forms on his face as he bends down to pick up the basketball. 

“Darling, I am more than capable of controlling my balls,” he teases, finding the scowl on her face adorable. Y/N shakes her head, “That doesn’t even make any sense.” “I think you know what I mean, Darling.” Drew brings the bottom of his shirt to wipe off the sweat on his forehead, which Y/N is a hundred percent sure he does to show off his defined abs underneath. She has enough of his cocky attitude and picks up her bag to leave. He doesn’t want her to leave, so he hesitantly reaches out to stop her. The pressure of his fingers on her bicep causes her to glare at him, yanking her arm away. Her defiance to his charm is rare to him and he likes that she doesn’t just bite down her remarks for the sake of him liking her. He watches as she walks away and the scent of her lavender perfume fades away. Drew wishes she would stay to tell him her name.

——

Drew wouldn’t say that he stalked her, but he did ask around about her. Y/N Y/L/N is a psychology major in her junior year. She doesn’t have much of a social presence on campus, yet it is known that she hangs out with Addy Morrison, who Drew has spoken to at a few parties. He is close to a friend of Addy and he told him that Addy frequents Page Turner, a bookstore just outside of the campus. The reason for her habitual visits, Y/N works at the store. 

He wipes his palms on his pants before opening the door to the shop. A little girl and her mother are on the other side and he lets them walk out then enters. His gaze darts to the counter with the cash register; disappointment flashes through his face when he sees that she isn’t at the counter. He has been in the store a couple of times before and while he does enjoy the dusty smell of books, he hasn’t been able to find what he has been coming to the store for. The unoccupied register does give him hope that she might be working today because no other employee seems to be working at the store. He browses the books until he hears the creak of a hinge opening from the back of the store. He waits for a second to check over his shoulder at the door, but the smell of lavender filling the room tells him who it is. He hides his smirk and waits for the patter of her footsteps to stop. 

“Does this place sell phone chargers?” he asks, walking toward her. He waves his dead phone, which is really just turned off, in the air before placing it on the counter. She gives him a raised eyebrow and an annoyed look. “This is a bookstore, not Apple,” she mocks. He laughs at her remark, “Does your boss know that you are always so rude to the customers, Darling?” “You know you should try reading more. You might be one of the 36 million Americans, who can’t read over a third-grade level,” she quips, ignoring his previous comment. He grins at her, “Interesting. Could you get me a statistic book on that?” Surprise flashes on her face. “Really?” she inquires, turning towards the computer. He amusedly shakes his head, “Nah.” She gives him a crossed look, “You know people don’t like sarcastic people.” “They also don’t like know-it-alls either, Darling,” he fires back, turning towards the door and exiting. 

Y/N glances down at the counter to find his phone still there. She does not want to give it back to him but fights against her better judgment. She runs out after him, calling his name. He stops in the middle of the street and turns toward her. She goes to give him his phone when the blaring of a horn fills the air. The car slows down, but not fast enough. Drew is knocked off his feet and his head slams against the ground. Y/N lets out a small scream, running to check on him. 

“Are you fucking crazy? Watch where you are going. That was a crosswalk, Jackass,” she screams at the driver, who came out of the car to check on the person he hit. When Drew comes to, all he sees is the ray of sunshine standing above him. Her hands are waving around in the air as she screams at someone in front of her. He doesn’t know who she is, but he feels an overwhelming feeling of affection for her. She must be his girlfriend with the way she is defending him. Once she gets the driver’s information for the insurance, she helps Drew up from the ground. “Darling, what happened?” He questions, letting her guide him to her car. She sends a quick text to the owner explaining what happened and that she locked up, “You got hit by a car. I’m going to get you to the hospital.” She settles into the car and helps him buckle his seat belt. “Oh, that’s good. Hospital good. You are such a good girlfriend,” he babbles. She ignores his statement about being his girlfriend, hoping she just misheard him. 

——

“The doctor said he has a concussion, so wake him up every so often to make sure he’s fine. If he pukes, take him to the hospital just in case,” she informs Austin, one of Drew’s frat brothers. He nods his head and helps guide Drew to their couch, “Got it. So you’re Y/N?” She gives him a puzzled look. She’s never talked to him and she sure as hell never told Drew her name. “Uh, yeah,” she awkwardly responds. “Austin, you should know her. She’s my girlfriend,” Drew scolds, looking at her with loving eyes. Austin gives her a confused look. “He also has amnesia. He thinks I’m his girlfriend,” she whispers the last part. “I don’t exactly have the heart to tell him otherwise, so I’ll just wait until he remembers.” Austin’s mouth opens in understanding. 

She hands Austin a post-it note with her number, “Give him my number when he is feeling a little better. I have the driver’s info so he can file an insurance claim. I’ll also ask the owners of the store around where he got hit for surveillance footage.” Austin takes the number into his hand. “Got it. Thanks for taking care of him,” Austin thanks, leading her out of the door. 

——

Got the insurance claim :). He texts her, sitting back on the couch. He sees the bubbles pop up and a smile spreads across his face. That’s good. He hasn’t gotten to see her since the accident. Every time he tries to take her on a date, she says she is either busy with work or school. God, his girlfriend is so hardworking. It’s cute. He remembers he is supposed to go back home this weekend and decides that this is a good time for her to meet his family. Darling, I’m gonna go to my mom’s place this weekend. Wanna come? 

Y/N stares at the phone with a grimace. She wants to tell him no and she also knows she has to tell him in person that she isn’t his girlfriend, which she could do after dinner. Okay, I’ll go. 

——

The car ride is quiet with Drew trying to make conversation with her. She keeps shutting him down. She parks the car on the street and he gets out of the car, going around to open her door before she can do anything else. “Thanks,” she mutters, feeling guilty, she takes the arm he offers for her to grab. The door opens before they can get to it and out comes a beautiful blonde. “Drew, are you feeling better? How’s your head?” she worries, checking over his head before going to give him a hug. He shakes his head with a smile, “I’m fine, Mack. My girlfriend was there to take care of me.” Mackayla, who Y/N knows is his sister because he gave her a breakdown of his family, does a double take upon seeing her. “So you weren’t joking about that. You actually have a girlfriend,” she states, holding her hand out for Y/N to take. Drew gives Mack a funny look, “Of course, I wasn’t joking. What are you on about?” Y/N squeezes his arm in reassurance, “Drew, it’s fine. Let’s just go in.” 

Inside, they find Drew’s other sister, his brother and mom in the kitchen. “Hey guys, I want you to meet Y/N, my girlfriend,” Drew introduces, using his hand on her lower back to nudge her toward the kitchen island. She awkwardly waves to his family. “Wow, he wasn’t joking,” Brooke says. Drew and Y/N watch as she hands Logan some money. Drew’s face turns to shock, “You guys bet on my girlfriend being real or not?” “I thought it was easy money. Drew, you’ve never talked about her before,” Brooke defends. Y/N notices Drew’s pouty face and feels bad for him, “Yeah, it’s because the relationship is relatively new. Your brother is a great guy though.” Jodi rounds the counter to give Y/N a hug. “Don’t listen to my children. He talks about you all the time since he got his concussion. Maybe, it knocked him to be more confident in your relationship,” she promises, taking a step back to admire her son’s girlfriend. 

——

“So you’re studying psychology, Y/N,” Jodi states with interest. Y/N looks up from playing with her food, “Yes, ever since I was younger trying to figure out the reasoning for our behaviour fascinated me. My parents like to joke that I was the little therapist of my preschool class, always trying to solve everyone's problems.” “That’s pretty funny,” Logan notes. Drew gives her a massive grin and throws his arm over the back of her chair, “See, my girl is so smart.” His pride feels so genuine and he gives her a kiss on her cheek. 

“Y/N,” Brooke calls out to capture her attention. “We are going to the beach house during Drew’s reading week. Do you want to come? We would all love to get to know you better.” She should’ve said no. There was no reason why she should say yes because she was supposed to tell Drew the truth. But then she remembers saying she would let Drew figure it out on his own time so she doesn’t break his heart. Plus,  who doesn’t want a free trip to the beach house? He turns towards her with wide puppy dog eyes and she knows her only answer could be: “Yes.” 

——

Y/N is meant to meet Drew at his house so they can drive up to his mom’s house together and then with his family to the beach property. “Drew is out getting some things for the trip. He said you can wait in his room,” Chase tells her, leading her to Drew’s room. She thanks him and enters the room. The amount of books in his room truly shocks Y/N. His shelves are filled with classics and profound books that even she doesn’t have the patience to read. She spots his schedule printed on a paper above his desk. This is another source of shock as she notices both classes for the stage and screen program as well as the English program. If Drew is in the stage and screen program, then why does he have so many English classes? 

“Have fun snooping?” Drew pulls her out of her exploration. She turns towards him with embarrassment on her face, “Uh, yeah. Why do you have so many English classes?” 

“Right, most people don’t know that I’m doing a double major. Stage and Screen, and English. I like to read.”

“And yet you went into a bookstore looking for a charger. What’s your favourite book?”

“Well, I had to charge my phone if I was going to take pictures that try to capture your beauty. And East of Eden is my favourite book. I like how it explores the mystery of identity. How it shows the inability to explain love. And how it demonstrates that the absence of love can lead to murderous outcomes.”

“Wow, spoken like a true English major.”

They both laugh at her joke and smile at each other. Y/N, stereotypically, never thought that there was more to Drew than his fratboy, actor persona and she is happily being proven wrong right now. He changes the subject, placing something in his suitcase before closing it up, “Are you ready to go?” “Yep, my suitcase is downstairs already,” she nods. “Great! Let’s go.” They pack their bags into his car and start the drive to his mom’s house.

——

The drive to the beach is filled with laughter and car games. Y/N really does enjoy being in his family’s company. After the car ride, everyone wants to just relax for a little bit, so they retreat to their own rooms. She is sharing a room with Drew. After unpacking their stuff, he settles at his desk with his laptop. She can see he is reading something but doesn’t know what. Instead, she concerns herself with trying to finish up her work so she can have the rest of the week free. 

“What are your thoughts on cognitive dissonance?” he turns towards her with an inquisitive look. She looks up at him in surprise that he is asking her a psychological question, “I think that I have major cognitive dissonance when it comes to eating healthy.” 

“Well, you know one way you could ease some of your discomfort from it is either by changing your attitude, so maybe just stop thinking that you need to eat healthy. Or you can change your behaviour by eating healthy. Or you can think of a new cognition about not eating healthy by saying that your busy schedule sometimes doesn’t allow you to eat healthy.”

“All that is very true. Are you planning on adding another major to the list? Why do you sound like my introduction to psych textbook from first year?” 

“No, no thoughts on a new major. I just thought it would be nice to have something to talk to each other about and you like psychology.”

“That’s sweet. We can talk about books too, you know.”

“We could, but I have a feeling the books I like to read aren’t the kinds you like. The book I ordered still has come in yet, so we’ll have to wait to be able to talk about those.” 

“What book did you order?”

“The Library of Lost Things. I saw it on your dashboard the day you drove me to the hospital.” 

“You ordered a book just because I’m reading it.”

“Of course. I want to know what you like, Darling.” 

Butterflies erupt through her stomach at his charming gesture. “Do you mind if I play some music? It helps me think,” she asks. He nods as he hands her his Bluetooth speaker. Her music plays as she works and Drew can’t help but dance to the song. He stands up from his chair. His hips move from side to side and his finger gun hands move in a circular motion like a train. She giggles at his dancing. He holds out his hand for to get up from his bed and dance with her. She moves her hips to the beat of the music, twirling in his hands. Feeling a little silly, she does the shopping cart move, which he mimics. The upbeat music stops and a Lewis Capaldi song starts to play. Drew quickly places his hands around her waist, bringing her in for a slow dance. 

Her head rests on his chest and they sway to the beat of the music. This peaceful moment is one she never thought she’d have with him. 

——

“Come on, just try. I promise to be beside you the whole time,” Drew begs, holding onto her bicep. She turns her head away from him, “Are you crazy? I am not getting on that surfboard.” “Nothing will happen to you. I’ll protect you,” he breaths out close to her ear, causing some heat to build in the pit of her stomach. She looks out to the ocean where others are surfing and they look like they are having fun. She guesses she can give it a try. “Fine, but you can’t leave my side,” she threatens, walking towards the water with the expectation that he will follow. “Deal.” He picks up his surfboard and jogs after her. 

When they get deep enough into the water, he helps onto the board. “Okay, for now, you’ll just do some paddling to get used to the feeling. Then hopefully, as the week goes by, you can work your way up to actually standing up on the board,” he advises, helping her lie down on the board. She gets the hang of it; however, a sudden wave catches them both off guard. Y/N gets thrown off of the board and into the water. She isn’t expecting this action, which causes her to panic. She can’t tell up from down and she doesn’t have enough air in her lungs for her to feel comfortable. A pair of arms wrap around her waist, which helps her to the surface. Her panic starts to die down with the relief of air entering her lungs. 

Her gasps worry Drew and he rubs her back reassuringly. “It’s okay. I got you, Darling. I got you,” he whispers, kissing her temple. She nuzzles her head into his neck and feels the comfort of his embrace.

——

Their day ends for them in a domestic way. They both lie on his bed, reading their perspective books. The silence isn’t filled with dread or awkwardness; instead, comfort haunts the room. She feels his eyes looking at her book over her shoulder and gives him her attention. “Can I help you?” she inquires with raised eyebrows. His head moves from side to side, “Not really, just interested in what you are reading. Maybe, I could read it to you?” She sighs, handing over the book she is reading. He scoots over closer to her and wraps his arm around her. She leans into his touch. Her eyes start to droop as he reads to her; she can’t stop herself from falling asleep. 

——

The sound of the birds chirping wakes one of the sleeping pair up from his slumber. He didn’t realize they had fallen asleep cuddled next to each other. She is still asleep, so he checks his phone to see Austin tried to call him. As quietly as possible, he tries to move out from under her. Y/N is still in deep sleep, so he takes the call out on the balcony. “Yo, what’s up?” he greets into the phone. Austin’s voice fills the air, “How is the planning going?” 

“It’s going pretty well. I feel like she is slowly falling for me.”

“I still can’t believe you haven’t told her that you remember the truth. It’s pretty messed up.” 

“I know, but I couldn’t tell her. She would never give me a chance if she knew the truth.” 

“You’ve been lying to me?” A voice from behind him stops their conversation in its tracks. Drew turns towards a now awake Y/N and hangs up on Austin. He takes a few steps towards her, “Y/N, let me explain. Please.” She doesn’t let him as she runs out of the door. 

——

He finds her sitting on the beach, looking out to the ocean. “Why did you lie to me?” she asks, not looking over her shoulder. He comes to sit beside her. “I mean, technically, you lied to me too,” her glare causes him to change courses. “This might sound a little creepy, but I had a crush on you and I knew you wouldn’t give me a chance at all. I really did think you were my girlfriend after the accident, but after a few days, I started to remember and Austin told me the truth.”

“Okay. Keep going.”

“He told me and I thought that if you didn’t want to break my heart with the truth, then I might as well see if I could make it work in my favour. You got to admit, you were starting to like me.” 

“That is not true at all.” 

He looks her in her eyes and leans forward. Their lips are practically touching; no one moves. “If that’s not true, then why aren’t you moving?” he whispers. She is at a loss for words so he brings his lips to hers and then pulls apart. “Please, just give me a chance.” The hope in his eyes tells her that his feelings are authentic. She also lied to him by not telling him the truth right away, so what does she have to lose? “Okay.” 

[castiwls]

wonderland - d.w

Paring; dean x reader

Prompt; 'Didn't they tell us, don't rush into things? Didn't you flash your green eyes at me? Didn't you calm my fears with a Chesire cat smile'

Requested; @raised-u-fr0m-perdition Warnings; mention and usage of guns

Notes; tysm for the request!

Masterlist | Taylor Swift masterlist

“I should not be doing this.” You turned your head to face the man who stood behind you. You felt his arms wrap around yours, his hands covering yours. “You’ll be fine.” Dean gently kicked your feet further apart with his own. “If you're gonna hunt, you gotta be able to handle a gun at least.”

A few weeks ago if someone had told you ghosts and demons were real you would have laughed in their face, yet that quickly changed when the Winchesters appeared in your home town. Your boss as it turns out was not as self-made as he had originally claimed and instead, he used other methods to make his fortune. Other methods which had left him dead in his office at 36 and you just happened to be the person who found him.

After having a minor hysterical breakdown in the hallway you’d pulled yourself together enough to make the 9-1-1 call which led to both the Winchester’s showing up on your doorstep. After that things had been a whirlwind of finding out about a brand new world you could never have imagined existed outside of the crappy horror movies that played on the 24-hour movie channels.

“You're choking that gun there, sweetheart. Loosen your grip a bit.” Dean laughed quietly. “This is insane,” You mumbled staring at the target across the room. “I’m never gonna hit that! And I know I will never hit a moving target.” You shook your head feeling his hands squeeze yours slightly.

“You're never gonna know if you don’t try.” He shrugged slightly. You nodded taking a breath. “Okay. No, no not doing this.” You slipped out of his grasp turning to face him. “Sweetheart…” Dean tilted his head slightly sliding his hands down your arms. 

He grinned looking down at you for a moment. “We’re rushing things.” You looked up at him as you spoke, his eyes boring into yours. “Right?! We’re rushing things, I’m rushing things.” You laughed lowly.  “I mean two weeks ago I worked in an office now…now I am holding a gun. Do you know how insane that is?” your eyes widened slightly as you spoke.

“No one ever is ready for this life. But, I know you can handle this. Sam does as well.” As he spoke his grin grew slightly. “Just try for me alright?” You stood quietly as you looked up at him, your nerves slowly began to lessen as you looked at him. 

The first thing you’d noticed about Dean Winchester upon meeting him was his eyes. You’d been almost captivated by the way they shone in the light and the way they creased when he laughed. You were utterly and completely in love with a man you had only known for a few weeks and due to that fact you had allowed him to pull you down this rabbit hole of a completely new life.

“Ok. I’ll try.” You nodded. Dean grinned leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your lips. “Good.” He turned you around, repositioning you both in the same way you were before. “Whenever you're ready.” He said quietly.

You took a deep breath as you felt his hands squeeze yours. Exhaling you pulled the trigger

[technologyculturedneo]

icantfeelanything. Lee Donghyuck

“I don’t want to leave him! He’s mine and I am his!”

PAIRING(s). Donghyuck X Reader X Chenle

SUMMARY. Your whole world comes to an end when your knocked over by a car and are proclaimed dead. Yet you wake up in a different space, your boyfriend, Donghyuck’s mind. You are met with a furious ‘Memory Keeper’ Mr Zhong who tries to force you out. You’re reluctant to leave simply because he wants Donghyuck to move on from losing you. However, that is something you refuse to do as long as you're in his mind.

-Dreamscape Masterlist-

20:36 p.m.

It happens quickly. So quick that only a second goes by. So swiftly that you watch your soul fighting to remain intact to your body.

One minute you're running across the street with the biggest grin on your face, without any fear in the quiet road. The next moment your body is collided by such brute force that instantly you feel the cracks and punctures piercing out through your bone and body. Surging- high up in the air bitterly painful but beautifully dead- in pain you hear a splat sound as you fall and hit the pavement floors! It takes a millisecond to lose sight, but you see red. Your vision goes blurry, your eyelids shut involuntarily, your rapture your ears- eardrums beating promptly and briskly only causing you to hear muffling sounds. A spike sound has your heartbeat pounding so loud that your ears fight not to burst. Through it all, through this moment… that moment on the cold night, the paved road, you make out your boyfriend's state of worry. But even though you hear him... your body can't move.

Hyuck...

Parched lips, blood over your eyes, shivering with pain bruising all over your body. Your flickering eyes and palpable sense of lack in body motions has you worried – especially when you see your own steadfast boyfriend rushing to your side in panic and horror.

"You're going....to...ok-"

Your mind goes blank. Quiet. That quiet is scary as you fight to open your eyes. Nothing but pain spikes your attention again.

When you open your eyes again, you're almost blinded by all the light. Hyuck…

You’re confused to see his tears, to hear his voice that's fading in and out of your ears. It’s painful. You just want to close your eyes, but the sight of the heavy tears rolling down his eyes has you… fighting.  He’s crying hysterically moving his lips in haste, talking words you can’t hear. The pain is too much. Your heart strains, but you can’t find the strength to open your heavy eyes and look at him anymore. Your heart beating hysterically.

No.

Your mind gets blurry each and every time you try to open your eyes. But all you can see aside from waves of dizziness and blood, is your boyfriend. Broken and just so… broken. Hyuck… You try to move your hand, but it’s heavy. You try to move your lips, but their sore. You try to lift your head but you can’t feel nothing but the pain, you TRY to do something! You try so hard to even catch a beat of your heart, but your body doesn’t respond, your mind feels detached, your whole soul feels light as it leaves your body! No!- you only see his tears when you close your eyes after fighting for so long. A single stream leaves your own eye.

Donghyuck runs rapidly by the nurses’ side pushing forward the trolley bed with your unconscious body. He holds onto your bloodied hand unable to control his breathing. The tears are just as fast as his words, and his legs levitate with the speed he’s at. “You’re okay, you’re okay. You’re going to be okay, just hold on, hold on baby. Please hold on. Don’t leave, don’t leave. Please stay, please stay, baby please. I’m here, I’m here, I’m right here, please be okay, please please please, please- PLEASE!”

“I’m sorry sir, but you can’t go past this point,” A nurse cuts him from your hand, holding him back with another nurse trying to restrain his movements while the other nurses continue to hurry in pushing the trolley forward.

“Please you- I need to be there! I need to be by her side-” Donghyuck’s legs that try to get past the nurse becomes heavy and he thumps down on the ground watching your bed disappear after turning a corner. He barely shouts out clinging to his shirt that's bloodied and hands stained with your blood. He can only see red. He's finding it hard to breathe, his chest feels tight, his breathing is irregular and the damn tears won’t stop flowing out his eyes. 

The nurses’ voices fade away when he recalls all that happened just hours ago. He heard your yelp seconds before the accident. One second, you were there grinning and running to him, and out of nowhere your body was suddenly ‘kicked’ high in the cold dark air- flying like a ball with such speed he only saw in cartoons. His soul felt like it had been struck by lightning, because the moment he ran- he felt as though he would burn and die by how fast he got to you. His only priority was you – there was nothing else in his head but your wellbeing. The flying image of your body, the excruciating sound he heard when the car almost drove over your lifeless body, and how your hands struggled to hold onto him, made him hysterical.

"Please Y/n, you can't die. Stay."

You had to survive, you had to survive for him. You had to survive, you couldn’t just go, you couldn’t just go like that. There was so much that was left unsaid, so many feelings he wanted to express to you. So many things he wanted to share with you. You had to survive because of all the things you and him had planned out. He only had you in his life. He only had you.

With haste again, Donghyuck runs to the seriously firm and sturdy Doctor that approaches him. The doctor notices the dried blood stains over Donghyuck's shirt (possibly your blood) and he can tell that he might be the boyfriend that the nurse told him about. The doctor can see the trauma going through Donghyuck's eyes covered in a failing smile.

“Yes Doctor? How is she? She’s fine right? She’s okay right? S-she’s fine, I know she is. She’s a survivor. She’s a fighter, she’s my girl, she can’t die. She’s okay right. Oh my god, I knew it. Good because her brother, her brother is here-”

Donghyuck rambles on with an anxious positive spirit. He was positive that you survived, because he knew you, you weren’t the type to go down without fighting, fighting for life…fighting for him. The doctor watches on with a stale face but it slowly falls away and becomes filled with dismay and melancholy. He watches how Donghyuck has a wounded smile, with tears that prickle underneath his eyes, as he motions for Mark to come over. The doctor and Mark both see right through Donghyuck’s smile for the pain that’s truly building up in him.

“Mark, Mark, please come. Please tell the Doctor about your sister, she’s incredible and is alive, right?” Donghyuck prompts, avoiding the Doctor’s eyes that already said the words he didn't want to hear.

Donghyuck grins brightly at the doctor, the tears already falling down his eyes.

“Doctor, why aren’t you saying anything? Please say something. Tell us good news,”

Donghyuck’s smile twitches as he stares at the Doctor. His tongue begins to heavily tremble, when the male Doctor looks down.

As if possessed Donghyuck grabs onto the Doctor’s shoulders. “SAY SOMETHING! GODDAMNIT SPEAK! FUCK! SAY SHE’S ALIVE! PLEASE- please, please, please-“ Donghyuck’s words fade away as he clings onto the Doctor’s coat shutting his eyes tightly knowing very well that he won’t be hearing those words tonight… he won’t be hearing those words ever. “This can’t be… This can’t happen… Y/n… doctor please tell me you saved her. Please tell me you tried to save her… doctor…” Donghyuck drops to the ground, tears rushing out like a flood gate. His hands hit the floor as he buries his head on his hands as he cries out your name.

Mark not having enough energy is already seated on the bench, with a headache forming in his head from holding in his tears. His eyes are red and sting, tears ready to spill and overflow, his jaw feels strangled as the veins pump in heaps of pain. He lays his head in his hands fighting back with waves of crushing emotions swerving all over him. Donghyuck was already in a ball on the floor wailing out for his dear life- Mark is seconds away from letting his guard down but he tightly guards his trembling lips because he has to be the stronger person. But how could he be strong when hearing this news… He scoffs they didn’t even hear the news, hearing the words would just be too painful. You’re gone. Mark holds himself back as he realizes that he has no little sister anymore. You’re gone. You’re… gone.

“My deepest condolence for your loss.” Lifting his head up when feeling a brisk hand on his shoulder, his teary eyes peek up to the Doctor who’s already looking down at him, a coat of dejection and despair looming over him. “Your sister was as the young fellow said, she was exactly strong and did put up a fight. You’re allowed in her room for some days. If possible we'd appreciate it if you signed her release papers. There was nothing I could do to save her, for that, I apologize.”

-

“Oh god. She’s here!”

“Is she really here? Should we inform headquarters?”

“She’s truly stunning, I can’t believe she’s here,”

“But what is she doing here?”

“She’s not supposed to be here.”

Sound morphs all around you allowing you to hear voices around you. Your eyes are frozen literally, as if your body is trying to understand why it’s not feeling pain anymore. Nothing hurts. You try to make out the voices, yet you know none of them. Your conscious attention is directed to something else when you can feel… some sort of liquid being poured over your toes. Your breath hitches in your throat shutting out all the voices as you try to focus on whatever is being poured over your body. With trembling lips, you feel your knees and ankles buckle when the liquid substance pours over. It’s cold and it clings to your legs, your torso, your breast, your arms- everything gets soaked into the liquid goo and eventually your neck and head and even hair get smeared with the clinging liquid squeezing your body shut. You feel suffocated and chills all over your body. After a daunting time you struggle to breathe!- your body finally trembles and you can feel every inch of your figure and every movement of your fingers. Your eyes fly open as you sharply huff in a large intake of air.

Those around your figure stand by with some wet towels, dry towels and a robe. They watch your clear slime covered figure breaking out of the yoke you were in. You’re wet and nude as you shoot up on the white operating table panting for your dear life. They stand in astonishment watching you in awe, at how breathtaking you look.

You cough out trying to get rid of the odd liquid substance that entered your mouth. Your eyes are struck by the blinding yellow of the room you’re in- and the weird goo. You see three ladies in the room and you can’t stop trying to breathe as your breath feels short and unstable. “Why can’t I breathe?”

You're short of breath yet again when you look down to see the gooey slime all over your body. Shrieking out of the white mattress the ladies follow you and so does the gooey white slime. The slime falls off of you and your stunned that you’re bare and exposed. A squeak leaves your lips when the ladies scramble to you quickly wiping you and cleaning you up. You quiver in fear but stay still out of shock as they continue to clean you up and assure you that everything is alright.

However that doesn’t seem to be the case when your head snaps to the side watching as the door fiercely opens up and with heavy propelled steps, a figure stands in all black. Your frantic eyes are sharply on the male figure that enters the room with sharp eyes of vexation. Your arms quick in reflex cover up your exposed breast, but the ladies around you are faster in getting a grip of your hands trying to clean you with the wet towels and dry towels. “Hey-” your side tracked when seeing the ladies faces… Donghyuck? They look like your boyfriend but in different colored wigs.

This was supposed to be simple, with you waking up, coming out of your yoke, sitting up and calmly being cleaned up. Normal procedures for the ladies in white, yet they're stunned and muzzled by your befuddlement and the entrance of a presence that’s not supposed to be here. 

“Mr Zhong,” The main nurse steps forward bowing to him. “You’re here.” Is all she can manage to say. Why was he here? What was he doing here? What did he want? He’s not supposed to be here during clean up- not even that, seeing him out of the main core center is unusual.

“What the hell are you doing here?” His question and devious tone is not aimed at the nurse or other cleaners. No, it’s aimed at you. You simply stare at him quivering back in fear with every step he takes. You’re just as frightened and confused like the other nurses, but you’re more on the alarmed side.

Where were you? And what is going on- what is going on?

Mr Zhong stands in front of you, his being towering your bare trembling body. Your eyes are on his harsh dark eyes as you watch his own irked eyes move down your body. Your hands are too afraid to cover up so you let him take in your nude body that’s been cleaned up.

“Answer me.” He whispers making chills run down your spine- his voice rises again so loud that you jump. “What are you doing here!?” 

You cower your eyes looking down trying to hold yourself from exploding into a scared cry. “I don’t know- I don’t know where I am. I don’t know anything. I just woke up! I think I hit my head or something and-”

“Mr Zhong she just woke up from her yolk. She’s disoriented and her memory is still foggy. If you give us a few minutes we’ll get her in-”

“Where’s Hyuck?” Your soft voice speaks up as his eyes suddenly come up into your eyes. You were at a hospital the last you remember with Donghyuck… you were in an accident. “Where is he?”

“Oh god.” Mr Zhong rolls his eyes shut in irritation as he runs his hand through his hair. “Get her cleaned up right now will you? Why is it taking so long?”

The nurses are quick to clean you up, applying some lotion for your body and even massaging your shoulders and head, scraping your skull with deep fingers calming you down. You feel like you’re being given a free spa treatment, when they wrap your body in a robe. They make you perform some balance test, asking you move your head left and right, if you can stand on your right leg and left leg, they dress you up in a white bra, a white vest and finally a white shirt, paired with white underwear and a white skirt. You feel comfortable amongst the ladies who strangely look like Donghyuck. Nonetheless you ignore the male figure in a black suit eyeing everything that they’re doing.

Are you dreaming? Did you hit your head?

His eyes are shamelessly glaring you down as the ladies pamper you up with sweet calming words that meant absolutely nothing to him. You were here and if you were here, it only meant trouble.

“Alright. You’re all cleaned up.” The three nurses stand in front of you bowing, before returning to their natural smiles. You don’t understand why you had to be cleaned up and why these ladies even looked like Donghyuck. In fact, where is-

“Where’s Donghyuck?” You ask.

The smiles slowly slip from their lips looking to each other.

“She’s a spirit.” Your eyes turn to Mr Zhong seated on the chair watching you with such distaste that you instantly look away. “A lover.” Why is he looking at you with such anger? And what is a lover?

“A lover?” The mentions of a lover floats around the air on different lips of the nurses as you look around the yellow space.

“I need to get back to Hyuck,”

“No.” Mr Zhong stands up sternly. “What you will do is follow me, and hopefully you can get out of here before you overdo your stay.”

-

“You’re dead.”

“No.”

“You’re dead.”

You gulp and shake your head. “I’m awake. I’m alive.”

“You’re dead.” The guy known as Mr Zhong repeats his words. You shake your head with disbelief not allowing your ears to believe a thing he’s saying.

“I’m not dead.” You say again. It seems like a cycle with you in denial and Mr Zhong repeatedly repeating himself not wanting to break the cycle. It seems like he really wants you to get it in your head that you’re- “I’m not dead!”

“You’re dead.” He deadpans again.

“No I’m not.”

Not bothering to change his wording, he crosses his arms only staring at you bored and angered out of his mind. “You’re dead.”

“Stop saying that!” You yell standing up balling your fists. There are tears clinging to your eyes. “I can’t be dead! I can’t! Can’t you see I’m breathing? Are you blind to that?”

“You don’t even have a heartbeat or pulse.” Mr Zhong tilts his head. “You’re dead.”

“Stop!” You yell at him controlling your hands to stop you from trying to slap or push him. Blinking your tears away. “Stop saying that please. I only asked you where Donghyuck is.”

“And I’ve been telling you that you’re inside of him.” He shuts his eyes rubbing his temple. “And that’s because you’re-”

“I will strangle you if you dare repeat that sentence.”

He calls your name once while turning around. How did he know your name? “You’re wasting precious time. You know what, follow me, if you want proof and clarification.”

Being told you’re dead and that you’re inside your lover (inside of Donghyuck’s body) causes an unstable balance inside of you. You look at your hands and see how clear they are from any wound, but you can also remember feeling numb from all the idle pain all over your body. You can’t remember what happened- but you know that you were hurt badly. Otherwise why else was Donghyuck crying. You remember following him to the hospital... or he was following you- you’re not sure, but you do know that he was in an insane amount of pain...wait, you were in an insane amount of pain. You felt your head about to explode and your entire body in such frail torture, throbbing and aching. 

If you felt that pain, then why are you okay right now? It’s the only thing you can think about. You turn around in the white hall, finally finding Mr Zhong by an elevator. He sticks out like a sore thumb because everything in the room is white except his dark suit. Your legs are heavy but you follow him and stand beside him in the elevator letting out a chilling breath. 

“Where are you taking me?”

You pose simply, only to have him ignore you and press up a button. The elevator starts moving up and you notice that the doors are clear and see through. As the elevator goes up, the white hall you were in goes down and the new scenery of black clouds and a neon view of an ominous city lights up in the night, but the elevator goes higher despite floating in… midair. You stand closer to the door taking in the view of each layer of the city that is darkened and only lit by the flashing colors of pink blue and yellow. The confusion in you only grows. The views disappear and a grey room is present when the elevator stops. The doors slide open and Mr Zhong takes steps out with you carefully following him.

After leaving that weird place, he continued being cold with a bothered face. You can already guess that he doesn’t like you at all, not one bit. He barely gave any other emotion then abhor and clear hatred. Maybe hate is too strong but that’s what you can see in his eyes. He hates you and you don’t know why, you don’t even know him. But he somehow seems to be in charge as he walks around like he knows everything.

In the narrow grey corridor, you try to keep up with him as he turns into various open turns. Peeking from behind him you spot a door that’s in front with the number 4R. 

A flashing white light hits your eyes and you shake your head hearing loud voices. 

“Pulse going down!”

“Doctor we’re losing blood, we’re losing her!”

“We need to stabilize her stat!”

You stand still shutting your eyes to block out the words but they continue on yet instead of getting louder, they slowly fade.

“Get the charge.”

“Volt?”

“180.”

“Standby. Clear.”

You gasp aloud and pant out.

“Pulse fading.”

“Again. Standby. Clear.”

A sharp sting grips your chest and you grab it gasping out.

“Pulse fading.”

“We’re losing her.”

It’s the last thing you hear before sharply opening your eyes blinking excessively when Mr Zhong stands in front of you. “That’s called your Last Memory.”

“Last Memory?” You ask trying to catch your breath and stand straight. 

“Yes. The last thing your inactive brain remembers before it shuts down. I guess this hall triggered it.”

“But I thought I’m in Donghyuck’s mind?” You whisper out grumpily standing straight. “What the hell is going on?”

“Right now we’re not in Donghyuck’s mind. I just took your spirit out of it. Plus another day has passed. It’s almost 7pm. You’re tethered to him.”

“What?” Confusion washes over you yet again, by the words that leave his lips. You have no idea of the things he’s talking about. “What do you mean tethered to him?”

He turns on his heel continuing to walk towards the door named 4R. “Things will make sense when you come to terms with the fact that you’re dead.”

He opens the door and there’s a dim light that he disappears into. Quickly you follow him rubbing your eyes upon entering the bright room. 

You can hear soft sobs and instantly snap your head to the source. There’s a hospital bed and a chair. On the chair... And on the bed...

You feel your heart about to explode from beating so fast. Your knees lose balance and you fall down. “W-what is this?” You ask unable to comprehend the sight before you. 

Mr Zhong stands by the corner of the room with his hands in his pocket as he looks at the sight of your dead body on the bed and Donghyuck’s disheveled appearance seated on the chair. He’s crying as his eyes are fixed on your lifeless face.

“What memory is this?” You ask trembling as you try to get on your feet with your weak body trying to handle and support your movement. But it can’t, your emotions wearing you down.

“This isn’t a memory.” Mr Zhong speaks taking in a breath stepping closer. “You died 3 days ago. Today, they’re discharging your body and preparing for burial-”

“B-burial?” Your heart hammers in your chest as you fall again to the ground. “Burial for what? Who’s getting buried?”

“Your burial is in 2 days time,” Mr Zhong continues.

“No.” A string of disbelief leaves your lips just as your tears blur your vision. You stumble up and run to Donghyuck but get the surprise of your life when your whole body passes through him and you fall rigidly to the ground. “D-Donghyuck?” You cry out immediately sitting up and trying to touch him. “Baby please I’m here! I’m here! That’s not me! That’s not me! I’m here! Donghyuck! Hyuck! Baby!” Your voice quivering and trembling as you try so desperately to cling onto his body, but each time your hand goes through, until you’re struggling to breathe with your chest at a loss of air. “No!” You wail out in deep agony. “I survived- I’m here. I can feel and that’s not me. That’s not me- please no.” 

Your tears are nonstop as you bury your head on Donghyuck’s thigh… well, trying too.

Mr Zhong’s eyes widen when he senses that Donghyuck can suddenly feel your presence. Donghyuck blows out a breath of air and his own tears stream down faster as he looks at your dead body on the bed. He stands up and his whole body circles your dead body again as he cries. He’s not supposed to be holding you, but the nurses are not around, and he could care less about the trouble he would be in. Mr Zhong lets out a breath of relief when sensing it was only your sorrowed and burden emotions that pushed Donghyuck into another wave of tears.

Mr Zhong needed to get you out, but your weakened state next to the feet of your boyfriend has him in despair. Even though he despises you, he knows how much you mean to Donghyuck, and so he leaves the room to let you have a moment. After all you just found out that you’re dead.

You're crying alongside Donghyuck, while Mr Zhong stands outside the door listening to the both of you pour out your hearts. Of course it’s hard to believe you’re inside of Donghyuck’s mind when you can see him with your physical eyes. But then again, Mr Zhong has been here far longer than you have. In his mind, he tries to think of ways to get you out of Donghyuck’s head before it’s too late. He shakes his head. “It’s already late.” He mutters to himself. “But I need to get her out of here. Before anyone sees her.”

This is all happening because Donghyuck doesn't want to let you go. Mr Zhong sighs. He needs to get you out of Donghyuck's head, he needs to do it as soon as possible before you got sucked in. The less you know the better. It’s even better that no one saw you aside from those nurses. He needs to get you out before another member inside of Donghyuck sees you.

Mr Zhong's senses alert and sharpen when he can feel Donghyuck and you together. Donghyuck can feel you. That’s not good. Donghyuck can’t interact with your spirit. Under no circumstance is he allowed to do that. Mr Zhong bursts into the hospital room his eyes enlarging when you're hugging Donghyuck from behind. You’re focusing your entire being just to hug Donghyuck and it seems to be working because Donghyuck can feel your presence… or rather can feel an embrace wrapping their arms around him. Donghyuck is anything but confused as he cries out. “I can’t live without you. I can’t…” Donghyuck shakes his head when seeing your dried out and dull lifeless lips.

Meanwhile Mr Zhong's heart beats rapidly when he senses what Donghyuck is about to do. He gulps and his legs are quick to act in grabbing your shirt from behind and yanking you. "We have to go now." 

"Wh-what? Why?" You're ripped from Donghyuck as Mr Zhong pulls you back. You try to fight him off you with your strength but Mr Zhong balls his fist and your body begins to move against your will. "No- please- just give me more time with him! Please-"

Your words fall on deaf ears as Mr Zhong's running and forcing your body to move as well in the direction you came from. In a far distance as you cross your ‘Last memory’ you hear the words of the Doctor charging your body again and you jolt up when feeling the electrical current shoot throughout your body, however the process is short lived when you're pulled away extremely fast and into the elevator next to Mr Zhong. “Come one go faster. Go faster.” Mr Zhong stresses out. You wipe your tears suddenly being drawn to his alertness. What’s going on now?

There's a loud ringing in your head when the elevator door opens up to a... large white room that looks like a lab with plenty of laptops and screens. –Beep- Beep- Beep- the alarm sounds off very loudly. 

"What's going on?" You shut your eyes when the ringing ‘crings’ annoyingly. You can't hear Mr Zhong but with blurry sight you see him run out of the elevator to the white room… that's slowly turning dark. You try to follow however your mind is distorted and you collapse on the ground due to all the ringing.

Mr Zhong- tagged along with a great hand of different operators run around the ‘monitor room’ also known as the Core control room. With screens all over monitoring all of Donghyuck’s scenes, there’s one large screen that captures what he’s seeing exactly. That’s the one that Mr Zhong controls when he senses that Donghyuck isn’t being himself. The people in the room all in charge of different senses are running up and down in haste- trying to get Donghyuck to calm down- they press on all the buttons that are used to prevent a forced ‘shut down’. The lights in the center are fading black.

Donghyuck is having a breakdown and is about to shut down his mind. That can't happen. Because if it happens, then the Core can’t control, leaving Donghyuck in the hands of his impulsive ‘Body’. Mr Zhong pulls on a leather hanger and blinks several times when eyeing the monitor screen to see through Donghyuck's eyes. 

Donghyuck is still in the hospital room pacing back and forth, wanting to rampage. “I… I should be the one to die. I should be the one to die. I should be… the one… to…” Huffing and puffing, Donghyuck picks up his car keys and goes out the door. He can hear his brain telling him not to do it but there's just so much emotion building in him that he can't fathom or want to feel. Getting in his car he slams the door shut and bangs repeatedly on the steering wheel yelling out in sheer anger and possibly crying out.

Mr Zhong speaks into Donghyuck’s thoughts as his ‘subconscious voice’. “Don’t do it Donghyuck. You don’t have to do something crazy to prove.” 

Drive. However, with the fading lights in the control room, Donghyuck gives into the will of the Body to drive instead of listen to his own thoughts.

"No!" Mr Zhong hastily pulls on the leather to try and have some more light- to try and have control in the darkening room. The other coordinators are scampering in heaps of fear by Donghyuck's edged decisions. "Come on Donghyuck! Please don’t do it! Listen to be before you do something crazy! Stop the car!" 

All efforts in the control room are vain when Donghyuck starts the engine and with raging force the tires screech loudly and his car thrusts forward in deadly speed. Cars are hooting on every lane by his careless driving. Donghyuck finds himself not caring and he drives on the highest speed challenging the accelerator in his car. All the windows are up, the car is filled with sounds of him deeply breathing and running his hand over his hair violently and his foot blistering from how cogently he's stepping on the speed paddle. 

The Core’s control room is no longer fading black, instead the whole room is a darkened red with flashing lights- the alarm sounds are all off. All the controls are black and the only thing everyone can do is watch the screen of Donghyuck's eyes and he swerves in dangerous speeds racing in between cars and him yelling out. He’s on a high way leading to his own death.

Mr Zhong worriedly looks at the screen watching his best friend lose his mind and having a mild panic attack. Mr Zhong holds onto the ledge tightly with tears in his eyes. “Donghyuck stop this!” All the pain Donghyuck is feeling - he can feel it too. Especially in this moment. Donghyuck is feeling guilty. Worthless. Pathetic for staying alive when his girlfriend has died. Mr Zhong feels useless that he can't do anything but watch as his friend is driving to his own death. In moments like this, when Donghyuck’s Core lost control to the Body- they could do nothing but watch it all happen. All the operators as if in defeat and sync all kneel on the ground together with their eyes no longer trained on the screen but on the floor as they prepare for death. Because by the looks of Donghyuck’s reckless driving, they were bound to death. This is what usually happens when the mind and body are no longer connected. Donghyuck feels on edge that he can't feel anything and so the body moves on its own in rebellion. Mr Zhong doesn't close his eyes, he simply sinks on the ground waiting for the impact of the crush whenever it'll happen.

Is this seriously how Donghyuck will lose his life? By ending it, while thinking of being with you.

Donghyuck panting out in sheer self-resentment drives off the highway and crushes past the border line lanes and he's car is surging down the cliff in rapid speed.

It's getting hot and Mr Zhong can feel it. The roads are bumpy and Donghyuck stupidly removes his seatbelt having his red tearful bleeding eyes already set on a tree. He's ready to crash into. 

With determination Donghyuck prepares himself for impact his eyes balling out blurring his vision.

"Hyuck… Hyuck…"

Mr Zhong's ears are sharp when hearing it. Hearing the soft breathless echo. From Donghyuck's eye vision, Mr Zhong sees a ghostly appearance of a hand holding onto the staring wheel… holding onto his hand. Mr Zhong's eyes snap all around until he spots you on the ground (that you supposedly passed out on).

Your lips are dry, your body is flat on the floor, however your eyes are filled with tears when wearily looking at the screen. Mr Zhong makes out your hand that's slowly balling in a fist and by instinct he can feel that Donghyuck can feel it as well. You intertwine your fingers with his.

Donghyuck feeling the tingling sensation presses his foot sharply on the break! pedal causing the car to come to a dangerous sharp stop with the tires raging on and burning up with smoke emitting all around the car. Donghyuck nearly flies off his seat but he grips the wheel tightly especially when still seeing your hand on his.

The car stops a few gaps away from the rough branched tree, but Donghyuck's isn't even focused on that as his breathing rises with his eyes firmly on the hand wrapped tightly in his. He turns to the side and the ghostly appearance of your bloody image is what he sees before it fades away.

“Y/n…” He breaks out into a breathless cry, laying his head on the staring wheel.

In the center, heads rise when noticing the red lights disappear before the white light flickers back on giving control back to the mind. The sadness team comes together to allow Donghyuck to cry- quickly getting back on track to allow Donghyuck to not lose control again. Mummers go around, but Mr Zhong has his eyes fixed on you. The others can't hear it, but he can. He can hear it because Donghyuck can hear your soft whispers in his ear. 

"Please, don't do it. Live...for me...please. Hyuck…"

While the coordinators in the room weakly take control of the system, Mr Zhong looks to the screen of Donghyuck's eyes. Donghyuck glares at the empty passenger’s chair and whimpers out your name. Mr Zhong moves to your corner before anyone can see you and he places you in his room leaving the door open. “Why is it so dark in here?”

He ignores you and carries on doing what he was doing. “Rest up.”

Donghyuck falls asleep on the couch again, too lazy to go to his room and too drained to move. After having a full on blow cry of his life, he got out his car when it refused to start again. The car was busted. He walked up the rocky cliff making it to the highway again. His mind not even on the fact that he just lost his car. He felt numb of emotions and his throat was sore. Walking wasn't such a bad idea as he got to slowly recall your weak figure...bloody figure. He got teary eyed again and allowed himself to cry out on the road as he walked meekly on the side. How could he go on without you being there? He couldn't. And that's why, when feeling your presence tonight he wanted to continue feeling it forever more. By the time he got to his house, he crashed on the couch and instantly got induced by sleep.

Mr Zhong monitors everything until he feels sleep take over and Donghyuck is passed out on the couch. Mr Zhong looks at the blank screen being worn out. Now the Dreamers in Dream Land are taking over in giving him something to dream about. Tonight was challenging. If it weren't for you, Donghyuck would've died. As if being summoned Mr Zhong turns his head around when seeing your walking figure. You're dressed in all white again and you sit on the chair next to him. 

"I told you to rest." Mr Zhong's voice isn't sharp like before, but it's stern and on the quiet side. 

You nod your head slowly, fumbling with the ends of your sleeves out of pure anxiety. "I did. But I couldn't bring myself to sleep. Mr Zhong... I wanna understand what's going on. I'm lost out of my mind and you're the only one who I believe I can talk to."

Mr Zhong turns his head to you and sighs. "What you don’t know won’t hurt you. Besides, you have to leave his body. Let's take a walk."

"You said something about me being a lover. That I’m tethered to Hyuck. Is this heaven? Am I supposed to be here?"

“You’re not supposed to be here, which is why should leave.”

Elevators are Mr Zhong's way of movements you take note. The moment he thinks of it, by a second there's already an elevator door that presents itself. Just like him, it's a darkened grey almost black color. You stand beside him and the elevator goes down and away from the white center room. “Why are you the only one that is coated in darkness?” You question, and as you expected, he doesn’t answer you. By the time the elevator opens up, you see the outside. You follow right behind Mr Zhong on the darkened streets of the neo colored place.

"I’d believe that I’m inside of him if his insides looked all brainy and stuff. So, where are we really?” You pose confused while looking at a place that looked much more like a city then a mind or brain or all bloody.

"The less you know the better. But for a little insight, everybody is different as they should be. If you want brain and blood, just ask and I’ll take you to the real interior of Donghyuck. Right now, we’re in the interior central. The Dreamscape City. You know how some people are, structured, punctual, disciplined and focused? Well Donghyuck's being is like that. Everything that Donghyuck is, his personality: the things he likes, dislikes, traits, smarts, kinks, special places, basically his whole conscious is here in an organized collected city. I call it Cyber Dream, just because of it’s tech style. But everyone here knows it as the pit of Donghyuck or Dreamscape. If you like, you can call yourself a figment of Donghyuck’s imagination." Mr Zhong answers as he navigates himself through a busy street. You’re not far behind from him trying to hear everything he’s saying. He really doesn’t seem to like you. But that’s the least of your concern.

You rest close by being enchanted by all the flashing lights and different buildings and skyscrapers with enchanting names such as; ‘New Things I learnt Encyclopedia’, ‘Guilty Pleasures town’, ‘Music-Phoria home’, ‘Skates City’ and more. What attracts you more are the people.

Your eyes do a double take almost every time when you notice that the people.... probably all of them are lookalikes of Donghyuck but with different hairstyles and clothes. Just like the nurses and the people in the Core room, most of them just have blank faces, or eyes or mouths. Your mind easily grasps these things and you feel like your brain might explode from how weird everything is.

"Figment of his imagination? Dreamscape," You mummer out. You smile when recalling how much of a brainy tech nerd Donghyuck is even internally. “That’s my Hyuck,”

"Everything that he breathes lives here." Mr Zhong nods his head. "Night time. When Donghyuck sleeps, he's left to dream by The Dreamers in Dreamland. They're the ones who coordinate his dream and guide him to a dream or not. While he's out, his Mind, Body and Core begin to rest up. We don’t sleep, we can’t, instead we rest. That basically means the people who work in his Body come out here, the people who work in his Mind come out here and the Core people come out here."

You and Mr Zhong go inside a yellow building called, The Commune, with high shelves, comfortable lounging spaces and such a cozy warm place, the place has such a comfort feeling. Going to the top floor, you and Mr Zhong walk past some people who are seated on the one seat couch or tables as they read quietly or talk together. There’s such harmony. Mr Zhong leads you outside where there are some tables and chairs, but even outside still looks so nice and impressive. You and Mr Zhong draw to the rail and sit on the high stools there, getting sucked into the sporting lights and peaceful sights of the Dreamscape City. The illuminating night sky as well, draws you close and into everything. The night sky is composed of stars that look like objects and faces… little white dots in the sky. You smile when you see your own face.

"Don’t get too comfortable." Mr Zhong breathes out and you face him taking in the structure of his hard face. He's got soft slightly plumped lips, a firm jaw that holds up his face proudly, high cheek bones, slit eyes that are partially open and his hair is a midnight black... just like his whole attire. A very...not so much Donghyuck look alike.

“How come you look so different?” You ask. “Everyone here looks like Donghyuck but you-”

“You’re different too.” Is his response. You don’t press much into it, as you see him giving you such cold eyes. He breathes out again rolling his eyes, as he thinks on how to break down everything to you. "I know you don't like hearing this, but you're dead. I'm sorry," Despite his words sounding sincere you don’t like how he looks at you, or the fact that he doesn’t appreciate your presence with him. “And you have to come in terms with that fact, because it’ll help you get out of here faster.”

You let out a soft breath. There's no denying it now, because you believe it yourself too that you’re dead. But you don’t even know where you are? So why is he so eager to have you out? “Honestly, you keep telling me I’m inside of Donghyuck, but I really don’t even understand anything. If I’m dead, why am I here?”

"When people die, good or bad, they go to a waiting place. Where they wait for their judgement and verdict on hell or heaven. In their waiting place, they're like spirits who wander the earth. With physical eyes you can't see them or feel them, but they can see and feel you. You're supposed to be there right now and your spirit is not supposed to be here. But Donghyuck has done the impossible, yet again." Mr Zhong's lips halt and he looks away from you.

“Yet again?” You question. “What does that even mean?”

“Tell me, when you were hit by that car, did you feel your spirit going…”

Thinking back, you recall how your soul felt like it was getting out of your body. “I actually did feel that.”

“That was your spirit already taking flight from the pain. So I don’t know how he did it but… your spirit was drawn to him before you could walk off to the ‘bright white light’. What do you remember?”

“Dying.” You answer honestly and sadly. “But nothing else. I woke up here thinking that I woke up in the hospital. What do you mean when you say he’s done this before? Is that why you’re here and look diff-”

“Stop asking questions, listen.” Mr Zhong wastes no time in allowing you to speak. “For now nobody seems to know that you’re here, let’s keep it like that. The best thing I can tell you now is that if we work together we’ll be able to get you out of here before it’s too late, and before everyone begins to notice. You see now, they aren’t even looking at you.”

“What kind of best news is that?” You furrow your brow. “And what do you mean-”

Mr Zhong groans out being annoyed. “What do you mean this- what do you mean that- you ask too many questions. Do you think you could listen for once in yourlife?”

“That’s because I’m trying to-”

“If I tell you that Donghyuck can’t move on and that’s why you’re here, will you be able to understand that?”

"He can't move on? I mean what do you expect… I just died." Although your tone is saddened, your questions are endless, but if it’s answers you want, then you’ll get them. One way or another, even if he’s being difficult. “Well at least tell me about this place and why you want me gone so bad?”

"You see, the people here are all Donghyuck's self-made conscious. They're all born with purpose. For example, everyone in this building is tasked to read or socialize over matters that Donghyuck wonders about. One of the popular discussions in his head is whether we have 1 butt or 2 butts-”

You laugh, remembering how you and Donghyuck would argue on end about the said subject. He'd bring up points you've never even thought about and it was always such a discussion with depth- rather then it being silly. You stop laughing seeing Mr Zhong just staring at you irritated.

"The place where you came out of- is like the neck of birth. All of the time, it's Donghyuck being born again with a new trait and that trait moves on to its assigned Member. Now the problem is, you haven’t been assigned, which ultimately makes you a lover. Someone that Donghyuck has kept because…” Mr Zhong stops himself before trying to find better words. “Because he doesn’t want to lose you. There are 3 types of Members here, namely: Mind, Body and Core." Mr Zhong sticks out 3 fingers. "Mind members are the ones who initiate thoughts and strategies, analyzing, thinking, making plans and short term memory or long. They are the ones who fuel this place up with ideas and ideologies, they make up half of Donghyuck's conscious. Typically, they're the ones who work all over. They monitor him as his spoken conscious, they monitor eyes and ears. You know the little thoughts in your head, or the feelings you suddenly feel when you're with a person, or that one voice you speak to in your head by yourself? That's the Mind members.”

You nod you head. “What department are we-”

“Well maybe if you stopped talking I’d be able to fill you in properly without jumping and skipping. His sharp tone has you leaning back and silencing yourself. “Body members are the desires and cravings of this place. Anything they desire or lust after, they fuel to the body. The mostly deal with his senses of touch and movements. Meaning for example, if Donghyuck started liking yoga, then there are yoga body members who are born and have the necessary knowledge on yoga. Naturally the Body members main station is down to the body below the neck, but from time to time the Organs and Nerves system will come up to build awareness for new things that Donghyuck's body has started liking. And then we have the Soul, but commonly known here as a Core members, this is my department. Considering you touched him, this is… your temporary placement."

“My-” His sudden sharp stare has you shutting your mouth discontinuing your question.

"Core members work in the Upper room, they control room whereby we're in charge of his purpose, his meaning to life, his intelligence, his personality… we incorporate together with the Body and Mind to create Donghyuck as a whole. While the Mind members are everywhere of his conscious, the core makes up 1 half, just as the body makes the other half. The one mostly in control is the Mind, second in charge is me, however other times the body is stubborn and refuses to be third, so it’s tug and war sometimes. Especially if what the body wants to do is stupid.” Mr Zhong explains.

“You talk as if the Mind, Core and Body have a spokesperson,”

“They all do. I hope you don’t get to meet them. Your task should be to get Donghyuck to move on.”

“Again with this.” You huff and look away.

Mr Zhong stares at your side profile. “Tell me something. You’ve been here for a week now-”

“A week? It hasn’t felt like a week, it feels like literally 1 whole day.”

“Time moves quick here.” Mr Zhong brushes off quick and continues in his speech. “And that should let you know that you’re losing your chances of a quick escape.”

“Okay. I understand that I’m dead. I kind of understand that Donghyuck doesn’t want to move on that’s why I’m here, but I don’t get your constant need for me to leave asap.”

“Because you’re different from everybody else here.” He states.

Staring back at him, you want to bite your tongue back but the words don’t stay in. “News flash you’re also here and you’re the only different looking guy.”

“And you think that’s nice? You think that it’s a good thing being here?” He questions sternly, his voice being so threatening. His anger is bright and clear in his eyes, but… something in his eyes evoke this… pain… hidden so deep. “Call me what you want, but I’m trying to help you. It may not look like it. But really I am.”

“You don’t even like me.” Your mouth let’s out again.

“No I don’t.” He admits. That makes you feel some way. “But Donghyuck loves you. The Mind, Haechan loves you, and Body Sun loves you too. Donghyuck as a whole loves you, more than anything in this world, he loves you. Heck he was even going to die because he didn’t want to live without you. Listen here Y/n, just because I don’t like you, doesn’t mean that I don’t want what’s best for you. And believe me, leaving is what’s best for you. Going to heaven… or hell, is best for you than being trapped in here. The longer you stay here, the harder it’ll be to let Donghyuck go. You’ll be like me.”

You want to ask what’s wrong with that, but the way he’s going on and on has you feeling that being like him is bad. Aside from his facial difference from all the other Donghyuck’s around, you do notice that he’s the only wearing black. Of course you see others in black clothes too- but he’s black has an eerie vibe to it. His hair black, eyes black, clothes black, even his complexion, against all the black makes him look incredibly angry… dark.

“Take what happened earlier tonight. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the Mind members are kind of lamenting and mourning your death, and by doing that they’ve given us temporary control of Donghyuck. We need to keep Donghyuck in check all the time now. While we were in control of his thoughts. His Body, just wanted to die, like I said he didn’t want to be third so he took control. Hence the room turning black. We lost Donghyuck to the control of his Body, and at times that can be the most dangerous of situations to be in. Basically, this period in Donghyuck’s life will be tough, because he has to let you go, so that you can be free." Mr Zhong slowly nods his head. He doesn’t know how you’re taking the news, but he’s trying to be honest with you, without letting you know too much.

“I don’t see what’s so bad about that.” You mumble looking away from him. Mr Zhong rolls his eyes. “For someone who’s also inside of Donghyuck, you really don’t embody anything that he likes. I bet you’re probably the one that takes over when Donghyuck and I argue.”

“I actually do. I think Donghyuck can do way better-” He shuts his mouth hearing you scoff angrily. “You’re scoffing? Didn’t you cheat on him?”

You suck in a sharp breath and look at him in astonishment. “That happened a long time ago.”

“Yep and it’s still the main reason why you and him argued.”

“I didn’t cheat on him. He caught me in a bad time with Jaemin.”

“Mhm. You’re dead now so it’s pointless. You’ll no longer argue about that.” He nods his head not convinced by your statement, at the same time puts you back in your place of death. "Thank you by the way.”

You’re still so high from the conversation, that you furrow your eyebrows when he suddenly says that thank you. “Thank you? What are you thanking me for?” You grumpily say and try to ignore the mini argument you had.

“You brought the Core out of the influence of the Body. I bet it wasn't easy, however you handled him well."

“This is crazy,” You blink your eyes to the stars above. “I just wanted to spend the rest of my night with Donghyuck, but now a week has passed, I’m supposedly dead—there’s just so much going on. And it all feels like a really long nightmare that I can’t stop. And you’re just so annoying and infuriating.” You shake your head and scoff. “I just wanted to touch him and hug him and just..."

“I get what you’re feeling, but complaining won’t do anything.” Mr Zhong, this time, gently interrupts causing you to huff in air and sulk. “Despite not liking you, I feel everything that he feels for you.” Mr Zhong turns his head in your direction. You're looking at the stars. He can only hope to get you out of here as soon as possible. “If you want this nightmare to stop. You need to get out of here and occupy your own spirit. Your spirit needs to go and rest in it’s rightful place.”

You ignore him and just look at the stars. Your mind blank. This can’t be real.

“I can’t risk the others seeing you, so I’ll need you to hide out in the Upper controls room, preferably in my room.” Mr Zhong gets up. “There’s a meeting I need to attend.”

“A meeting?”

“Yes, with all the other elements in Donghyuck. Our discussion is on the accident that happened. We need to head back so that I can make it in time and argue for you.”

“Can I come?”

“I just told that you need to lay low and hide out.” He grumbles. “So, no. You cannot come.”

Despite what Mr Zhong said, you find yourself with a mask over your face and large hoodie that you accidently stole from The Commune you were in. While Mr Zhong goes on leaving you in his room, you end up leaving and following some of the Core members into an auditorium like building. Where the meeting already seems to be in progression between:

Body, Mind and Core.

The names that Mr Zhong didn’t want you to know, you now know when associating yourself with the 3 members who stand at the center of the whole room. There’s ‘Sun’ (The Body), Mr Zhong (The Core) and Haechan (the Mind). One in all white (Sun), another in all grey (Haechan) and Mr Zhong in all black. The other two look a lot like Donghyuck and you can almost feel a connection to them both.

All of them are representatives. Sun and Mr Zhong report to Haechan. Haechan is in control of Donghyuck’s entirety. Sun and Mr Zhong work separately yet together to achieve the full personality of Donghyuck.

The Core’s representative is of course Mr Zhong. He stands on his own podium, looking to the rest of the present core, mind and body of members inside of Donghyuck. “The events of some night ago hit us all gravely. Donghyuck nearly drove himself to death. And that was because he was under the watchful eye of the Body members, while the Mind went into a crying cave. Donghyuck nearly tried to commit suicide. However, the Core was able to get Donghyuck back to his senses and allow him time to grieve. So, as this period in Donghyuck’s life seems to be one that is tragic, I suggest, we’ll give him a few days of grieving, before he can slowly return back to his habitual patterns and daily life. We wouldn’t want him to rashly commit suicide again.” It seems like a reasonable plan to get Donghyuck back in motion, yet the Body and Mind are opposing. “I suggest perhaps a period of 2 weeks, before we can allow him to move on-”

The Body’s representative, ‘Sun’, however has a loud mouth when speaking. “Firstly I apologize for my rash decisions. I know we were all overwhelmed and all just wanted to die. I shouldn’t have pushed that agenda. But, I don’t have to be the one to remind you and everyone else, that something happened that night. We felt the presence of Y/n. A ghostly hand belonging to her. A soft voice reminding us to carry on. She was there.” He states firmly. “Y/n was our everything. To have her there was a sign that we should… we should seek her.” That gets the crowd murmuring by that ghostly presence.

The one thing weird about being in Donghyuck’s mind, is adjusting to how everyone looks. While some only have ears and nothing else on their faces, others had Donghyuck’s full face, however they had unique looks, their own purposes and weren’t exactly like the Donghyuck you fell in love with. So, as you watch ‘Sun’ speak with so much passion towards you, your heart hurts… to think that you’d never be able to see Donghyuck the same way again is something that you find… weird. You’re inside of him and are surrounded with his traits and several personalities, but not one of them embodies all of those traits. While you can fall in love with his individual presences, you can’t fall in love with him as a whole anymore.

“I felt it too. And not just that night, but I… it sounds weird but I feel her here. I know she’s watching over us.” The Mind’s representative, Haechan speaks. It’s the first time he’s speaking. And instantly hearing his voice and seeing his facial expressions, you know that this… he’s the closest thing to Donghyuck. Why? The way he looks and reasons just highlights so much of Donghyuck.

It’s him. Heck… he’s even called Haechan. Your sunshine… “Hyuck,” you lowly call out.

Not expecting his ears to rise a little, his eyes turn to the side… he freezes on spot. You. The mere eye contact you make with him has both of your hearts beating rapidly fast. You can’t take your eyes off of him, you can’t stop looking at him. You swear that his emotions begin to enlighten… just as much as he seems much more attentive to you. You want to hide, just as Mr Zhong told you to do just in case someone saw you… but it’s so weird. You can’t look away from those eyes. The same eyes you fell in love with is now looking back at you. You watch as the tears fill his eyes… His lips tremble. “Y/n-”

“Haechan.” Mr Zhong calls quickly when noticing that Haechan staring into the distance. And of course a part of him is not surprised to see you there. Of course you’re here, you followed him. Idiot.

“Why else…” Haechan leans on the podium, his eyes flickering to yours once in a while. “Why else would she appear in the spiritual sense to save Donghyuck out of the blue? It’s crazy… but… I think she’s here.” While Mr Zhong’s eyes enlarge, the crowd at large gasps in astonishment. “Some nurses reported back to me that she was here… I don’t know what to make of it, but if she’s really here… then it’s a sign for us to keep her here,”

“No.” And that’s where Mr Zhong���s problem starts. While he’s the only different looking and only different person within Donghyuck’s head, everyone in here still respected him, however when it came to making decisions he was out numbered, by the number of little Haechan’s and Sun’s who’d all think the same. “Or maybe if she is here, it’s for no other purpose except to help Donghyuck to move on.” Mr Zhong tries to reason.

“I call bull on that shit.” Sun shakes his head. “Haechan is right. Something is happening. We as the body have been doing Yoga and we found out about all types of spirits and energies that can enter into a person when you call upon them. I think we should try that for Y/n.”

Mr Zhong shakes his head with disbelief. “What the actual hell did you just say? You want to summon her spirit?”

“Yes.” It comes as a surprise for Mr Zhong as well as you when everyone in the auditorium nods their heads and chants out ‘yes’!

“In fact I think if we do it right, we might even bring her back to life-”

“That doesn’t make sense!” Mr Zhong tries to cut out through the noise. Even his own core members were agreeing to this. “Do you guys realize that by doing this, you will ruin her spirit- and her chance to get true peace?” Mr Zhong stresses out, and that’s something that gets your attention. “She doesn’t belong here with him. She belongs wherever spirits go when they die.”

“If we’re all here why can’t she be here?” Sun enquires.

“She’s meant to be here. And if she already is here… maybe she’s scared… maybe she… maybe she wants to come out but she’s scared that we want to chase her way.” Haechan speaks again softly. Your head turns to the gloomy looking Haechan who’s so depressed when speaking and even when looking around. His eyes linger on yours again- and you feel all sorts of vulnerability. His eyes always had that affect. “I think it’s good if we’re gentle in this matter not to scare her.”

“No.” Mr Zhong’s voice breaks the peace everyone is in. Everyone in the crowd looks at him like he is going mad, they ignore him and slowly begin to chant:

‘Gentleness-’

Your head turns around to all the faces, ears, eyes, mouths, and generally everyone seems to be in agreement. Of course they are, they’re all Donghyuck. Sun takes center position and lifting his hands up. “I think it’s best to make a vow. That if we see her we should vow to never forget about her. To make her feel welcomed and that we don’t plan on letting her go. We vow to never move on without her-”

“No!” Mr Zhong bangs the podium yelling out. “For heaven’s sake! This is not a game. This is a gamble with someone’s spirit. Plus this isn’t something… something that everyone has agreed to.”

“I’m about sick and tired of you refusing to accept her.” Haechan equally raises his voice. “Maybe it’s you she’s afraid of. Maybe she feels unwelcomed by your energy. Cut it out! Can’t you see that we all miss her, can’t you feel just how near she is-”

Mr Zhong stands up in defending himself. “This isn’t something that everyone has agreed upon-”

“Can you hear them Mr Zhong?” Sun gives Mr Zhong such an attitude and holds his hand to the crowd causing them to let out an ear piercing scream. “They’ve spoken.”

“No they haven’t.” Mr Zhong solely fights for you. But yet, you can’t understand why he wants you gone so bad. Especially if Haechan and Sun are giving you a chance to stay. If you’re here, it surely means something… It’s what Haechan said. “This isn’t a democracy, this is someone’s life, spirit on the line. If you do this, there’s no going back. Haechan,” Mr Zhong looks to the Mind. “Right now, you’re just sad. You’re not thinking straight. If you allow this to happen, if you make this vow, you’ll be repeating a mistake. Should I be the one to take you to long term memory? Please. I’m begging you. I’m trying to prevent that. Please.”

Very subtly, the Mind, Haechan, looks to you and his heart quenches up. It really is you. There’s no denying it now. Your eyes are clear and he knows what you’re feeling… He’s just as confused of you being here… but how can this be? Is he dreaming? Normally, his colors where bright and bubbly and had a balance because he also looked after Donghyuck’s heart and everything else surrounding his energy. When the Core and Body found no agreement, he was the final decision to everything. The Mind is always the bridging gap between the Core and Body. However, as Haechan’s eyes are grey and brown, it only shows how much your death has affected him deeply, intensely… progressively that he doesn’t mind making a terrible decision.

“Please don’t be afraid to come out… I’m here.”

You blink your eyes a little, the tears slipping more before quietly getting up and leaving the auditorium. Haechan too follows your going figure. He wants to chase and follow after you- but Mr Zhong is in front of him. “I need to go.”

“No you don’t.” Mr Zhong stops him. “Please Haechan. The unconscious part of you knows better than anyone what bringing her soul here means. Or do you need me to go and find the memories for you so that you can see-”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I need to go to my room. Tomorrow is Friday. There’s a speech we need to prepare. Remember?”

[Friday, 10:45 a.m.]

Donghyuck isn't feeling too well as he leans on the wall of your once bright lively bedroom. His eyes are on the ground to a box of items that belonged to you. Your older brother Taeyong found it fit to give him some of the things you cherished. Donghyuck squats down and begins picking, moving his hand around the box looking for something particular- "There is it." Donghyuck pulls out a ring...

A promise ‘purity’ ring. This was on your body last, your finger before they removed it. Just looking at his makes his eyes water... How could you be gone? Just like that, how could you go? He sharply sucks in his breath when hearing the bedroom door open.

"Hey," It's Taeyong. "We're about to start."

"Cool." Donghyuck wipes his eyes. "I'll be down."

Giving him a moment to pull himself together, Taeyong walks out your old room first and then goes down the steps. This house once used to be a home filled with so much love and care. But it only took your parents dying, also in a car accident, to break the foundation of the family. Taeyong, Mark and you were siblings who loved each other so much and dearly, yet once your parents died something shifted in all of you. There was a lack of connections or understanding between you all. While it was evident that Taeyong tried to bring his siblings back together and become the man of the house, he couldn't find himself being strong for both you and Mark. While you and Mark confided in each other and got closer, Taeyong drifted further apart from the both of you as he made sure that you both went to good schools, colleges and even found good work. Under Taeyong's guidance, Taeyong managed to afford a student accommodation for Mark because Mark got a scholarship in a top university. Just like Mark, you also achieved good marks and got a bursary were they paid your full tuition as well as housing fees. Happy to have sent you and Mark to good schools, Taeyong was able to look after the house and move out, leaving it as a treasured piece of their family. Their parents were buried in the backyard and he only saw it fit to keep it as a memory house, as a personal cemetery for their family.

However, upon your passing, Taeyong sits outside with tears in his eyes. He never wanted you to die, he still wanted to send you off into a good marriage with a good man, he wanted to see you give birth to many children and be happy, because even though he failed to get closer to you he still loved you as his little sister. But now you're gone and can only look at your coffin that's in the middle of the backyard.

Mark is seated on one of the chairs alongside a few of the distant family relatives and your friends. He hates the feelings he's feeling. But there's nothing for him to do except stare down on the ground while some of your friends play a lovely song on their violins to slowly start the ceremony. The instrumental is so good that it takes him down the memory lane he had with you. He remembers the last time he spoke to you, you were jubilant and excited as ever for getting a job in a nice office of a company that you had admired for long. Credit Insurance Company. He recalls how joyful you were and how everything you spoke about was almost like reminiscing on your life... It's like you knew that you were gonna die. Because Mark can still remember your last words. 'Goodbye Markie. Hopefully the next time we see each other I'll be covered in all white, head to toe full of riches.' You only meant it as a joke of how rich you were going to be, but now it's the last thing he'll ever remember from you.

Donghyuck sits next to Mark absorbing the somber feeling and nonchalant feeling. It doesn’t help that the violin fuels into the pain he’s feeling in his soul.

Taeyong gets on the grass setup of an alter with flowers and pictures of you, while your coffin is stacked next to your pictures. "Thank you for that beautiful symphony. It was a masterpiece. This was my sister’s favorite song. She loved music, specifically the instrumentals because, she could always hear the unsaid words that were said. She always connected to instrumentals. I bought her... her first ipod and the first song she had on it, Near to thee my God. A song that was played at our parents’ funeral. I hope… that right now.." Taeyong gulps down the lump on his throat and looks at your body. "That she’s near to them…”

Taeyong shakes his head.

“Thank you all for joining us, in this ceremony. It's not fair that we’re here in memorial of my little sister. We should’ve been here to celebrate, but we’re here in remembrance. Gone so young, gone too soon. Life, another shit show. It's not fair that she's meeting mum and dad in heaven. It's not fair that she's left us behind. It's not even fair that we're here in honor of her death. It’s just unfair. Even though I'm her brother, her brother who barely spoke to her, I loved her so much. In times when I thought of her, I remembered the small things. The arguments we'd have about how much she hated cheese burger but loved cheese and she'd always nag that tomato is a vegetable, but it was a fruit. Her random topics being too… She was so dumb, but yet so intelligent." Taeyong finds himself bitterly chuckling and sniffing. "She always lit up the room, always had something to say. Whenever she’d step in, you’d know that she was there. Even if we hardly spoke to each other, she always made me happy with her presence. I think Mark can agree with me that she was the pride and dearest of our family. The best gift I've ever gotten was having a baby sister who I could look after and make sure that she kept smiling no matter what. I love you Y/n. Where ever you are, I love you, and I wish I told you that more."

Mr Zhong standing right next to your coffin watches you as you're seated on the floor looking up to your brother with so much admiration. It's true you never spoke a lot, but it's also true that you loved him so much. You always wanted to make him proud and not make him disappointed for sending you off to school- he gave up on school so that you and Mark could make it far. He had lots of self-hate because he thinks he drifted far from you, but he didn't even know that he was the center of your pride. You stand up and move closer to him and focus when you wrap your arms around him-

Mr Zhong watches the effect of the hug and what it does to Taeyong. Right on the spot Taeyong bursts out crying, only irking you to cry more as you whisper how much you love him and never hated him, and how much you looked up to him. You thank him and give him a kiss on the cheek. Taeyong can feel this presence like a warm blanket coming over him. He moves to his seat not being able to handle the overwhelming warmth coating him and little whispers of your voice saying you love him too.

Next up, Mark gets on the pulpit a little wobbly. It only takes one look at your coffin for him to begin crying and releasing all the tears he tried to hide. He doesn't know why he can't stop himself from crying, but Mr Zhong watches how your crying has an effect on Mark. You hold him tightly while he cries and you cry so much.

Taeyong gets up and moves forward to his brother, giving him a firm hug and never letting Mark go, Mark shakes his head in denial and can't even make out words when feeling so much sadness come over him. You join in on the hug that your brothers have, and from the side Mr Zhong has a somber face. He hated funerals. He hated them with a passion. But it was a law, a mind law that even when you die, you have to be present at your funeral to see the people who love you one last time before you'd get all ties with them. So while his eyes get watery by your tears and your brothers tears, he has no choice but to keep standing by your coffin with your body in a white dress. He sighs when Taeyong and Mark move over to sit down. A friend comes to speak, says short tearful words about how she knew you were her real friend. A distant family member speaks of your enthusiastic behavior, another group of friends play an instrumental in tribute to your love for a specific movie, and then next on stage is Donghyuck.

The one you’ve been waiting for. The reason why your life began to make sense after your parents’ death. The one who said love and you knew what it meant, took you out of that broken place you had placed yourself in, kissed you and you knew who you were. When you were lost, you simply looked into his eyes and you knew who you were because he was there. He has always been there for you. You feel like you’ve betrayed him, because you left. You left him all alone.

Donghyuck’s hands shaking uncontrollably pull out a white piece of paper that he wrote on the days you died. He tries to keep his cool but just seeing two of your brothers break down as well as everyone who you had a close bond with, only has him shaking and trying not to fall apart too. "In loving memory of my girlfriend. Maybe I’ll start by saying I’ll never regret loving you. But I must say, I wish things turned out the way we wanted it to be. I would never know what love was until you brought me the definition. You were there in the right time and place and time, you saw and you opened my eyes to a whole new world. That’s why I’m unprepared to let you go. You mean everything to me. I am not prepared to see you like this… in this coffin. We had plans, a bucket list to cross of. Growing old together, getting married, having kids, getting to open up each other more. Maybe along the way we would’ve gotten tired of each other, but in all the years I’ve been with you, even after arguments, I’ve never gotten tired of you. I love you. But now, I see you in white, inside a box with all our broken promises. I’m not ready to let you go. I don’t want to say goodbye. I don’t want to move on. I want to acknowledge all the feelings you made me feel, I never want to let you go. I am glad that I opened my doors for you because you gave me a lot of reasons to continue living even though I was hurting. Remember when I was on the verge of giving up on life and … you saved me? Just like always you came to my rescue like a shining armor. It was surreal. You told me to live. But how am I supposed to live when you’re not here anymore. Please if you can, show me a sign again. Show me that you are near. Y/n, I prayed for you to come back. I need you to be back here with me, with your brothers and friends. But… I know it’s impossible. Because the cold hands of death snatched you away from this cruel earth. This earth doesn’t deserve you, but why did you leave me? Don’t I deserve you?”

Donghyuck gulps when his tears block his vision.

“Since you passed away, life hasn't been the same. If I could, I would move to heaven just to be with you. I would turn back time to have you here on earth with me again. The time we spent together meant the world to me, your laughter and your precious smile always made my heart beat- even when we fought. It always took 3 minutes to make everything alright again. We always came back to each other even though we’d drift apart. I remember those times because it made me feel that whatever I’d do, or what you’d do could never break us apart because we always knew the way back to each other, to try and fix it. " Donghyuck shivers and grunts lowly when his eyes get blurry. "No one will ever know, what it's like to lose someone who’s saved them countless of times from destruction. I miss you... I want to move on, but I can't. I can't move on when you're not here. I won't find another one because you'll always be in my heart. Maybe I will, but I don’t want to. I only want you. I’ve only wished it to be you."

Mr Zhong shakes his head when hearing Donghyuck declare the words that would be your entire existence.

“No one will ever know what it’s like to lose the love of your life just when things were only getting to the best parts. Because I was there when that cruel car drove into you and took your breath away, Y/n, it didn’t have to end that way, you still had so much life. But if it’s this way, please just come back to us and let us say goodbye properly. I’m sorry for this to be the end of our love story… but I know you’re not gone. You’re still here. Inside of your brothers, of your friends, of family, you’re also inside of me.” Donghyuck sniffs. While Mr Zhong is in the corner disliking the words that Donghyuck is confessing, you’re on the ground holding tightly onto his torso.

Mr Zhong sits through your funeral, watching your friends from school an internship place speak such wonderful words about you. He watches how your body is sunk into the ground, everyone being a crying mess… you really had an impact on people. He watches family bid their last good byes, he watches your brother and Donghyuck spend a few more minutes around the spot they buried you. He watches how they’re the first ones to throw a shovel of dirt onto your coffin. Everything feels too real for you, but you’re in a mass crying hysteria as everything unfolds. This is not at all how you imagined your life to end, so to see this all happening is unreal. Mr Zhong watches as the people begin to pack up, how your brothers don’t move from your spot- Mr Zhong watches it all. His own eyes glistening with tears. Day turns to afternoon, and afternoon turns to night…

The last person remaining in the burial sight is Donghyuck. Taeyong and Mark are in the house preparing some food. Donghyuck is seated on the ground watching the place where they buried you. The next day they’d continue to place the rest of the burial ‘ornaments’. For now he can only look at the soil that has covered up the grave and coffin. His mind is blank of emotions.

Meanwhile you’re next to him laying your head on his shoulder. It takes you focusing all of your might into just holding him, but once you get the grip you never let him go. Donghyuck can feel it… he feels a strange sense of comfort by the warmth over his arm. He doesn’t try to move afraid that it might go away… instead he uses this moment to speak to you.

Mr Zhong knows that inside of Donghyuck, it’s Haechan who is in control right now. “Y/n… are you… are you here?”

“Yes I am,” But he can’t hear you. Just the wind blowing.

“I miss you,” He carries on but stops himself when the tears come rushing out again and he’s crying so much. Your own eyes are already puffed up from crying heavily after hearing all your family and friends lament on your death. Mr Zhong disappeared a while ago leaving you alone on the surface with Donghyuck. So to hear him cry, you know that inside Haechan is crying whole heartedly. Literally.

In a shift, a blink of an eye you see Donghyuck get up. “Hyuck,” You call him. “What’s wrong? Where are you going?”

You can’t hear it, but for some reason you know that he’s having internal conflicts again… as he paces back and forth and trembles and his eyes literally look like they’re thinking. It’s all because you were inside of him, you know how everyone is operating there. He makes a rash decision when he suddenly and swiftly punches himself in the face! He falls on the ground and you gasp- what was that. You move to his side trying your hardest to do something from the outside. If Mr Zhong is doing something in there to prevent another ‘Donghyuck shut down’ then perhaps you can you also do something out here. So with all your concentration, you place your hands over his shoulder and you stare at his face that’s in anguish and distress.

“Hey, Hyuck,” You lowly say… Donghyuck’s ears aren’t prepared to hear the spiritual world, but he does hear your voice. Instantly that has him frozen. You keep looking into his eyes hoping he can just stay focused on you- but his eyes shift around- an indication that he can’t see you, but he did hear you… “Please calm down,” you try hard to let him hear the words… and… surprisingly he crosses his legs and nods his head.

“Okay,”

You breathe out, having him back for a bit. You stay with him, this time wrapping your arms around him as you straddle his waist. Hopefully he can feel that… he can.

“Hey Donghyuck, supper’s ready,” Donghyuck doesn’t want to snap out of the daze he was in when hearing your voice and sorta feeling this embrace around him. But as Taeyong calls he sighs out when instantly everything he was feeling, vanishes away. He gets up and heads into the warmly lit home with Taeyong and Mark and takes a seat with the brothers and eats…

You take a seat on the table simply watching them eat. Your heart mourns and aches to be this close to them. “It’s time to go back.” Your head snaps to the side where you see Mr Zhong standing by the corner of the kitchen as if he’s in the shadows. “We have to go back.”

“Can’t you just wait for a few minutes?”

“No I can’t. It’s urgent we move now.”

“How do you expect me to go when my brothers and boyfriend are still wounded?” You question not budging.

“For once in your goddamn life can you just stop asking questions and follow me.” Mr Zhong, frustrated, grumbles. “Come on.”

“Do you guys… feel it?” This is Mark who asks. Both you and Mr Zhong freeze and turn to him, wanting to hear what he’ll say. “Do you feel how empty it is in the house without her?”

Taeyong nods his head and so does Donghyuck. Meanwhile Mr Zhong stomps to the table and grabs your hand. “Let’s go-”

“Let me go!” You yell trying to force yourself away from him!

“Did anyone else hear that?” Donghyuck questions, but this time Mr Zhong doesn’t stop until he’s pulling you off the table and into his personal elevator.

“Gosh! Why do you have to be so infuriatingly frustrating!” You yell out spinning around grabbing your hair. The anger soon turns to tears watching the lift close and your brothers and boyfriend disappearing from your view. “I just want to be with my family. I just want to be with them.”

Your crying doesn’t phase Mr Zhong nor does it stop even when the doors open back into the room of the core members. Mr Zhong picks you up and drags you to your room… well… his room. It’s dark in here. Like a punishment. You can see nothing but pure darkness. It’s an abyss and you’re afraid of it. Mr Zhong leaves you there for 5 whole minutes. That’s how long it takes you to stop crying and begin to fear the dark. Thank goodness he comes back, the little light emitted from the door way makes you immediately stand up. However he crosses his arms.

“Because I can’t trust you out there I’m going to leave you in here-”

“What?”

“And the next step we, we as Donghyuck’s core, will try to get him to move on, because this already looks like an unhealthy way to deal with losing someone.”

“You can’t do that-”

“I can.”

“No you can’t-”

“Watch me.” Mr Zhong voices aloud. “You’re not supposed to be here, the faster he moves on then the better. If you can’t help us with that, then we’re doing this without you. Stop leading Donghyuck on.” Are Mr Zhong’s final words to you.

You’re a little too late to react when he shuts the door and you’re swarmed with internal darkness all over again. You leap off the bed and run to the door trying to unlock it and shake it- to no avail it doesn’t budge. It starts off with you yelling for him to let you out! Before it turns to you banging out the door! You begin to get paranoid yelling and banging! Minutes turn to hours very quick and you’re met with no response. You don’t know how long you remain in the same position before paranoia turns to tears and you’re now wailing in the dark room. And then, like a good cry always does, you fall asleep.

Donghyuck finishes eating and thanks Taeyong and Mark for the meal, before he heads on home. Without his car, he opts for transport services. However, selecting what address to put, he contemplates between the club (Sun’s doing), the park to clear his head (Mr Zhong’s doing) and home (Haechan’s doing). While inside of him they quickly try to verify what action to take, it’s decided upon going to the park. That way, they can try to have another meeting on Donghyuck’s next turning point- instead of simply just rushing in to anything and everything.

Looking at the time, it’s past 8 pm and the little twinkling lights shine blending in with the aesthetics of the park. There seems to be a self-made concert of a guy with what looks like an electric guitar. Donghyuck simply walks by to hear the words that captured his attention:

‘I can’t go back now, nothings the same. But I won’t forget how you called my name? So will you remember me? Will you remember the way that I was? Will you remember me? Will you remember the way that you felt when you were next to me? Will you remember? Do you remember?’

Donghyuck finds himself taking a seat on the grass along with the other singles/couples scattered on the grass as they listen to the guy sing with his slightly raspy voice. The guy goes on to singing a few more songs, before he opens up his eyes that had been closed since Donghyuck came. “Thank you,” That gets the little crowd gathered to applaud for him. Donghyuck is surprised how instantly when the guy gets up, there aren’t girls swarming him with how good his vocals were- he’s just in shock how the guy gets up and begins walking away. Taking his chance, Donghyuck follows him. This being Sun’s doing, as he’s also been interested in singing and would love to hear this guy’s inspiration and would also like to thank the guy. “Hey, man, dude,”

That gets the strangers attention as he turns around curiously, to see if they were calling him. And upon seeing Donghyuck he smiles gently. “Oh hey,”

“What? Aren’t you going to wait for tips after your show?”

The guy’s smile turns a bit shy as he scratches the back of his neck. “Nah, I don’t really do this for the money. But if you’ve got some tips, I’d gladly take them,”

“I’d feel awkward handing you money in cash, it’d kinda send a suspicious message,”

“I get you,” The guy chuckles. “My name’s Jeno, I don’t usually get ‘fans’ running up to me, so I assume you don’t know who I am. What’s your name?”

“What an introduction,” Donghyuck tries to stay upbeat and positive even though his smile is tired. “Well, I’m Donghyuck, some call me Haechan or Sun,”

“You must be a ray of sunshine then,” Jeno enlightens.

“Me? Nah, I’d say your voice was the sunshine in my dark world,” Donghyuck admits… a bit weakly.

Jeno sees the sadness that passes through Donghyuck’s eyes. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were flirting with me,”

“Not really,” Donghyuck gulps looking down, trying to control the sudden knock of tears. He exhales and tightly smiles looking up. “I actually buried my girlfriend today. Hearing you sing just brought me to a place. Uhm, yeah,” Deep. Is all that Jeno can think as he listens to Donghyuck. “I guess I just wanted to acknowledge you for that,”

“I guess music really does have a way to connect people together,” Jeno smiles sadly too. “Even though she’s my ex now, I can’t imagine ever losing her to death. My condolences.”

“No biggie,” Donghyuck shrugs it off, clearing his throat. “Thanks for that,”

“I may not know your girlfriend, but I bet you loved her,” Donghyuck can only swallow back tears giving a brief smile. Jeno pats Donghyuck’s shoulder. “I was actually headed to one of my pal’s get together, wanna tag along? Might help you to relieve some stress,”

Donghyuck finds himself chuckling a little. “Not even gonna call this pal to make sure it’s okay?”

“The more the merrier,” Jeno smiles nudging his head forward as a sign that they should get going. Donghyuck doesn’t mind following along with Jeno. Throughout the walk Jeno talks about his ex girlfriend and how she cheated on him, and he was really depressed and as a way to de-stress himself, music came to him and allowed him to free himself. Donghyuck listens and wonders to himself if he’ll ever move on-

No.

He hears in his head. It’s not even an option. Why should he let you go especially knowing that there’s no one who will ever make him feel the same way as you? Why should he let go when he won’t find another like you? Why should he let go when he’s promised and dedicated his life to you? Why should he let go when you were his everything? How do people who break up begin to let go so easily? Is it because they were never in love- or because they found another? Donghyuck shakes his head, there’s no point in moving on especially if he didn’t get any closure.

It's very clear to Mr Zhong that Haechan and Sun are more in control of Donghyuck’s eagerness to not letting you. It’s clear that he might have to prepare himself in seeing you everyday. And that’s not an option he likes. So finally when Jeno and Donghyuck arrive to the ‘pals’ house- Mr Zhong actually gets thrilled when seeing the familiar face of Jaemin.

Y/n’s quote on quote fling.

The house is big, there are a bunch of guys and girls not exotically all over each other, but in a friendly state of a gathering. Donghyuck over hears something from Jeno as he comments that it’s a birthday of another friend- but Donghyuck could care less, especially when Jaemin also catches Donghyuck’s eyes.

Both have a deep stare down and instantly Mr Zhong takes front and center and immediately activates anger. Donghyuck’s lips twist in anger just as Jeno picks up on the tense atmosphere. He holds onto Donghyuck’s chest and with an arm around his shoulder he forces the ladder out of Jaemin’s equally engraved bitter eyes and to the kitchen.

“Am I missing something? Do you know Jaemin-”

“F-”

“She died because of you.”

Jeno’s ears are sharp when he turns to Jaemin who sucks in a breath after following them. Donghyuck turns around his eye twitching. “I beg your pardon? What did you say?”

“You heard me.” The teary red eyes of anger stare back into Donghyuck’s eyes as Jaemin balls his fist. For a very long time his thought about this encounter. Ever since hearing about your death over social media when one of your brothers posted that- Jaemin could only think of the last conversation you had with him. “You killed her.”

Donghyuck pounces but Jeno stands between the two hastily. “Yho yho Jaemin calm yourself, it’s Renjun’s birthday and he doesn’t want any of this.”

Jaemin is far from hearing that as he stares into Donghyuck’s eyes infuriated eyes. And Donghyuck isn’t even in the room anymore as his full focus is on Jaemin. “I buried my girlfriend today. Don’t forget that, she wasn’t your girlfriend, she was my girlfrien-”

“Cut that bullshit. She’s dead now all because of you. And you know what, she didn’t have to die- but you-” Jaemin stresses looking pain stricken. “You. It’s all your fault. If you hadn’t called her out that night she would’ve still been alive- matter of fact if you just gave her that space instead of always suffocating her then maybe- just maybe would she still be-”

“Excuse me? What the hell are you on ab-”

“God you’re so full of yourself.” Jaemin tries to step forward but Jeno’s hand stops him. “I loved her and she loved me. Do you honestly think- no do you really believe that she was happy in that claustrophobic relationship you provided her? Are you shitting me? You gas lighted her-

“Jaemin-”

“You filled her head with shit. Kept hurting her, manipulating her thoughts to think that she needed you at all times. You’re so controlling that you didn’t even realize that she was getting sick of you-”

“Listen here dude you know nothing about our relationship-”

“Oh but I know plenty pal,” Jaemin cries stuffling his anger. “You think you were good for her? Shit, you were draining and knowing now how possessive you are over her- I can just imagine the loniless she endured while being with you. Do you know she called me when you’d sleep? Or do you even know how much she cried to me? Do you even know where her heart lied truly? No. Because you continuously put her down. Continuously limited her. You didn’t know that girl like I did. You did not know her. She couldn’t even get out- always waiting for you and whatever you’d say.” Jaemin sniffs in blinking the tears away. “You selfish bastard, you kept her all for yourself and still have the nerve to claim her after death-”

Donghyuck has always been considered as a weak fighter- yet when he lands a punch right against Jaemin’s jaw! No one sees it coming, and that fuels Donghyuck to pounce on Jaemin and rattle him with each of his fists while his eyes wreak havoc in tears. By now there’s a crowd formed, howls of urgency just as Jeno and a bunch of other guys hold onto Jaemin and Donghyuck separating them. In the end- Donghyuck points a deadly finger at Jaemin who’s on the floor panting out in rage. “You know nothing about us. I loved her more than anything and I know for a fact that she loved me too. You weren’t even present at her funeral so what fucking say do you have over her life- If anything you were annoying- you still are annoying. Don’t you ever, EVER, speak of her again. You filthy piece of shit.”

Donghyuck passes by the flabbergasted faces of guys and leaves the house. After a heavy and teary walk where he constantly talks out loud blaming Y/n for dying. His feet find him in a 24/7 store as he buys liquor. He chugs it down shaking his head at the overwhelming thoughts pouring in his head from meeting Jaemin. This is the first time he’s confront Jaemin. Mr Zhong is glad that he can ‘pollute’ Donghyuck’s mind to the point where Sun and Haechan are both grieved and trying to believe that really Y/n is innocent. But it’s hard to believe that, especially since all that quote on quote crap came from Jaemin.

Y/n’s fling.

This all started a year ago when your relationship with Donghyuck began getting a little rocky. You became distant, and within the time of you being away from him, you met Jaemin. At this point only heaven knows what you’ve told Jaemin. Because ever since you patched things up with Donghyuck- Donghyuck began seeing a lot more of Jaemin around you. Seems like Jaemin had caught feelings. Donghyuck would note how you’d try to hide Jaemin away-  but Jaemin was very vocal about how he felt towards you. Hell knows what you’ve done privately with Jaemin, but even the little thought of it makes Donghyuck boil. Because now you’re gone. Now you’re dead and all the answers he wants to get, he can’t get them because you’re a whole spiritual platform away from him. “How could you do this to me!? Was I really suffocating you? Then why’d you stay with me all this time? What was the point of us getting back together if your heart lied with him? What the hell was he talking about? Y/n! Why? Why? This isn’t fair.”

Getting home, slurring his words and mumbling curses to you and Jaemin’s abomination relationship. He enters his dark room.

You’re awakened when hearing a cry. By now darkness becomes your second vision when you open your eyes and still find yourself in the same dark place. But yet.. you still hear a cry. It’s Donghyuck’s cry. Why is he crying?

Feeling sad and sorrow filling you up, you think of how to get out of the room, and how to get to Donghyuck in order to help him out. You don’t like hearing him cry. Why is he crying? Meanwhile Mr Zhong on the other side of the door is with the others as they formulate a ‘Moving On Strategy’, but he doesn’t know that as you’re on the other side, miraculously you think of something…

If Mr Zhong could do it, then so can you. He mentioned something about the cyber dream being part of Donghyuck’s thoughts… imagination… So without any delay, you try your hardest and begin building in your head. You construct something that you’ve seen him use to teleport you places. That elevator…

You’re already in the elevator when you open your eyes again. Just think. Think. Where do you want to go? The elevator begins to go up high and you have to keep your self-balanced against the side when it gets rigid and shakes a little too strongly. Steady. Steady. You remind yourself while picturing Donghyuck’s room. Taking in a deep breath you allow yourself to focus and concentrate on getting the elevator to Donghyuck. Actually you don’t know why you suddenly thought of Donghyuck’s room… but it seems like the crying if from there.

The first thing you hear when the elevator door opens up is sniffing. Despite the time being 18h26 pm, his blinds shut out any light- creating a pitch back room- only being lit up by his phone’s brightness light. The room is similar to the way it was when you were in the Organs and Nerves center. You step out the elevator and carefully tread on the carpeted grounds of Donghyuck’s room. If you still had a pulse, a heartbeat, you’d be able to feel your emotions going all over the place. As soon as you see him, his disheveled appearance slouched and face so stiff in sadness, you get a headache from how stupid you’d been to have died.

Why did you have to die? Why? You were his everything… You were his, and now that he’s gone you just feel this cold atmosphere around him. Getting in front of him you bend down, holding onto his knee- only for you to nearly fall as you pass through him. You can smell that he’s drunk. You can smell that alcohol. Great. You can’t help the little squeak that leaves you, the little squeak of frustration as your head lightly throbs that you can’t touch him. Watching him in the face, and how he doesn’t even react to you is just another slap in the face that you’re… no longer living. Looking at his somber face you feel your throat clog up.

“Hyuck,” you blink when seeing he’s looking at your picture on his phone. “I’m sorry for leaving you,” You try to hold his face, but the way your ghostly hue flows past him has you just kneeling in front of him in pure and pitiful sadness. “Hyuck,”  

Your sweet voice drowning in the silence as your eyes take him in.

Your arms keep passing him but right now you feel so close to him in the sense that you’re actually here with him. You can’t just be here and he doesn’t acknowledge you. You want him to acknowledge you…

You want him to feel you…

You just want him to look you in the eye and not be sad. You can’t stand this. You can’t stand being in him when outside he’s hurting. You don’t want him to hurt anymore.

Concentrating with everything in you, you brace yourself to touch him again. This time you tell yourself that you will. If you did it before at the hospital. “Feel me…” You can do it again. “Please,” Your fingers get a grip on his face… just a tingle and he instantly reacts.

Gasping out loud and looking around, you smile a little more as the rest of your fingers slide past his face until your whole hand is against the side of his face. “Hyuck…”

“Y/n?” You’re happy that he calls out your name, only except he doesn’t look at you or acknowledge your presence. He’s probably just having a reflex again. That doesn’t stop you from sliding your arm over his leg as you get back taking a seat next to him.

“I’m here,” You tilt your head to the side, willing yourself to wrap your arms around his torso. “I feel you Hyuck,”

His reaction to your touch is subtle as he stiffens and quietly breathes out. Can he feel it? Can he feel you?

“Can you feel me?” You whisper looking up to his face. “Look at me babe,”

He let’s out your name again from his lips sniffing. His eyes an ocean of red veins with tears dripping out. “Are you… Are you here with me right now?”

“Yes,” you nod your head a smile breaking out of your lips. “I never left you,” You place your hand over his chest rubbing it. Surely he can feel it because he places his own hand over his heart and bites his trembling lip. “I’m here,”

“I miss you so much,” He cries and shuts his eyes. He can’t hear you, but he can feel you. “I miss you so much…”

“I’m here,” You whisper out sniffing.

“No you’re not here… Jaemin was right,” He cries, and you hesitate a bit when hearing the foreign name. “I should’ve never came to see you, maybe you’d still be alive, maybe you’d-”

“It’s not your fault,” You mummer sadly listening to him blame himself. You gulp and shake your head rubbing his back. “Hyuck please stop, it was never your fault.” But he continues to speak… it’s when you understand that although he can feel you he actually can’t hear you.

“I wish I was there when you took your last breath. You took your last breath to a bunch of strangers and I wasn’t even there to… be with you.” He sniffs, hiccupping. He unpleasantly leans on his knees trying to control himself and his tears. “Were you scared? Taking your last breath, were you scared to cross over to the other side… you were alone. So alone. And that fucker blames me for suffocating you. Is that how you felt? Is that how you really felt? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Is it better that side? Is it better wherever you are?” He runs his hand over his hair. “Are you really here with me? Can’t I… follow you?”

“No.” You get on your knees and assuredly hug his knees. “Hyuck please don’t talk like this. It hurts me to see you like this. It hurts without you. It hurts not being able to live,”

“Are you… really here?”

“I am baby,” You grip him tighter. Even though he can’t hear you, you’re just filled with joy by his presence. “And I don’t plan on leaving you, so please, please Hyuck,” just stop talking nonsense.”

“You’re all worn out Donghyuck,” he faintly chuckles to himself. “You’re even hearing her voice,”

Your ears perk as he speaks. Kneeling down but facing him, you touch his face. Caressing him. “I’m in you Hyuck. I’m here,”

He scoffs. “Was that crap Jaemin was talking about true?”

“What?”

“Did I really suffocate you? Did I hurt you? Did you always call on Jaemin when I slept- was he the one you hid from me? Why didn’t you tell me anything- why didn’t you just fucking break up with me, if I was always on your case- why are you here? Why aren’t you with him? I hate that you’re gone. I hate that you left when you could’ve been alive. This is all my fault.” Donghyuck drunkenly sinks on his bed crying out. You’re just confused about everything he busted out. What was going on in the surface? Did he meet Jaemin or something? Did he really speak to Jaemin? What was Jaemin even saying- the anticipation killing you.

His eyes open up… his pupils slightly enlarge. Your eyes go all over his face and you can only wonder what he can see. He sits up on the bed still looking shocked. And this time his eyes don’t budge from yours. “Hyuck?”

His lips part and he freezes. “Y/n?” He carefully calls your name. “Is this real?” He sucks in a sharp breath. “You’re really… hey…” His eyes water up and he gently smiles.

“Hey,” You bite your lip feeling teary eyed.

“Y/n? Babe? Am I hallucinating-”

“That’s enough.” Like a shadow emerging from the darkness- a hand grips tightly onto your arm yanking you back into the shadows.

“Stop!” Of course it’s Mr Zhong. In his black suit, he gives you no time of his attention as he just drags you. You grip and try to pull away but his durability is great compared to your weak state. “Hey!”

You’re thrown on the floor of the elevator- his elevator and the doors close. Getting up you’re cross faced towards Mr Zhong however, your eyes take in the scenery of Donghyuck standing up on his feet in his dark room. He’s stationed in place with his arms lightly out. He pulls his curtain open and looks around his room. Your heart aches when you watch him bury his head in his hands before getting down on the ground shivering and another unruly cry escapes his already raspy throat.

“Have you lost your mind?” You now yell at Mr Zhong being furious. “Have you lost-”

“No the real question is, have you lost your damn freaking mind?! Why only now when we’re trying to get him to move on past you? Why are you here? Do you not understand how dangerous it is for you to be up here? What is wrong with you? Do you actually know how much risk you put yourself in when you continue to engage with Donghyuck this way-”

“I don’t care! I don’t give a damn because I’m just as broken! I’m just as sad as he is. That’s my boyfriend. I died and left him alone-”

“So why are you here!” He infuriatingly lets out, not minding that it actually hurt your feelings. “Why are you here? You should be dead!”

“I’m here because he needs me!” Holding back your tears you push him back when he gets too close. “He clearly needs me and you’re stopping me. You can’t stop me-”

“He doesn’t need you! What could he possibly do with you if you’re dead? Be depressed? Be sick? Die and follow you to the grave? Exactly. You have no place here. And that’s why you need to leave now. When you leave you’ll give him room to move on. Your presence here is holding him back-”

“I don’t want to leave him! He’s mine and I am his!” You stand your ground against him who’s just making you feel all sorts of anger. “I love him! I just want to be with him!”

His cheek pops out as he shakes his head folding his arms. “Well too bad. You just earned yourself a week in the cellar. If you do not want to cooperate with me then I’ll get you out of here by myself.”

“What is wrong with you? Why can’t I just-” The elevator door opens up and he’s back to grabbing you not paying mind to a word you say. You try to tell him to stop but he’s not letting you go. He drags you all the way to his room and tosses you inside, locking the door behind him, leaving you alone in his dark room. You huff and puff bang the door. But he doesn’t come back for you. Leaving you all alone.

Donghyuck returns back to work, melancholy and quiet. A few people from work greet him and pat his back just as others wish him well and pass their condolences. He sighs when nothing eventful happens throughout the day. He ends up going back home with the lingering thought of what occurred last night. Not the fight between him and Jaemin… but how he saw you. Or at least he wants to believe that he saw you. But he was drunk… there’s no way.

Another day passes, uneventful with him going home and sleeping. Another day passes and he feels so very alone and cries the whole day before getting up to go to work. He visits your grave, but nonetheless, he is troubled deeply. Mr Zhong inside is satisfied that everything is going according to plan. A few more days of melancholy will bring Donghyuck to slowly move on from you. And it so happens that when Donghyuck visits the grave again, he sees Taeyong.

“Oh,” Taeyong acknowledges Donghyuck. “How are you Donghyuck?”

“Hanging in there,”

“Yeah,” Making small talk with each other, they spend a good amount of time reminiscing on you that Donghyuck finally decides to open up something. “I… I’ve seen her a few times.” He meekly lets out while looking at your tombstone. “I’ve seen her a few times... even felt her. It’s like… she’s still here,”

Taeyong doesn’t respond immediately. He lets the words process before he can speak. “That night… after burying her, when we were eating… I felt her presence. It was like she was in the room with us. I don’t know what to make of it, but… If you feel her, then it should be a good sign. Maybe she’s looking after us before she… goes. Lucky you,”

-

It's sitting in the darkness of the room for several days and nights that has you feeling angry. You know what you have to do. You have to get back to Donghyuck. This guy (Mr Zhong) can’t keep trapping you down here.

If you can concentrate really hard then you might be able to get out of here. If you concentrate to the extreme you’ll be able to see him again. Only except everything in this room is dark and just so hard to see anything appear. You feel all kinds of annoyance gnawing upon you. But you hold yourself steady trying to think of an elevator again- or any means of escape. “Please let me just go to wherever Donghyuck is.” It’s only when you hear a pop(!) do you rapidly open your eyes when hearing the wind. Instead of a room, you’re actually outside. But it doesn’t appear to be the real world, instead it’s it really looks like the dreamscape city, only that it’s filled with clouds and buildings of all shapes and sizes are on the clouds. You turn your head back and forth hoping to see someone but you don’t. “Hello?” You logically call out.

“Yes?”

Snapping back and forth to find the source that is heard everywhere you look up to the pale orange bright sky. “Uhm, hi? Where are you?”

“Everywhere,” He clears out your thoughts. “Welcome to Dream Land, where every night we provide Donghyuck with a dream.”

Dreams… You can work with that. “So, what can I do if I want to be a part of Donghyuck’s dreams?” The silence follows for a few minutes, before you ask something else, not knowing if it’s ignoring you or what. “Can I be a part of Donghyuck’s dream?”

“Log in a file with Dream Corp and we’ll process it before Donghyuck arrives.”

“And where can I find that?” You furrow your brows. “And what do you mean before Donghyuck arrives?”

“Jump off.”

“What?”

This time the silence is everlasting. “I guess I’m jumping off.”

But just as you’re about to jump off- you take notice of you see him…. You see Donghyuck. You can’t believe your eyes, but you begin running towards him on the bumpy clouds. He walks to the edge just as your almost close to him and when he jumps you gasp but also jump after him. Thankfully your body clashes into his- and you grip him tight in a hug not letting him go. The wind blows and tugs on your body making you feel dizzy and sick but you hold on tight to Donghyuck. “Hyuck?” It doesn’t look like he realizes, but you see that his eyes are shut. Checking to see where you’re falling- you see the sky slowly turning dark before all of a sudden-

You’re thrusted straight onto a heavy ground. It doesn’t hurt like you expect it too- Donghyuck gets up still with his eyes closed and begins walking. There’s no time to adjust to your scenery or rather the pure blue sky with green grass blowing gently with 5 doors present for Donghyuck.

“Who’s in control?” You hear the skies asking.

“Sun.” A drowsy Donghyuck speaks.

“What door will you go through today?” The skies ask again. “We’ve got a quiet room, a nightmare seems to be brewing, a message from the angels and oh- Dream land informs me that Y/n has followed you.”

“In which… room will she be in?” You hear Donghyuck ask. As you walk forward to see his face, he doesn’t seem to be looking at you. Suddenly a thought comes inside of you to pick a door, where you’d like to speak with him.

Standing by a door, you hear the sky hum out. “She’s in room number 3. But beware, she didn’t pick an unoccupied dreamscape, she picked the dreamscape with the angels, so beware of Angels voices.

Donghyuck without hesitation follows to the room. You look at Donghyuck who opens up the door and you follow him.

-

“Where the hell is she?” As a nightly routine Mr Zhong enters your room to check up on you. Not seeing you on the bed he groans and walks in moving everywhere until he can determine that you’re not inside. Using his elevator he goes up to the surface and doesn’t see you in Donghyuck’s room. He comes back inside and furrows. He tries to sense for your presence but you’re nowhere around- he’ll be damned if he asks anyone if they’ve seen you. So he decides to go through some territories. The first is Sun.

Entering into the body territory he’s surprised to see what’s on the screen… is that… You?

“Sun what’s going on here?”

“We’re scheduled to be in Dreamland today, but you won’t believe who we encountered.” Sun speaks just as everyone looks too excited that they leap with joy around the body center. Mr Zhong shakes his head as he draws closer to the screen monitor- the monitor which reflects what Donghyuck can see in the Dream World.

You and him are talking… having a conversation. “What are they talking about?”

“We’re still in shock. We’ve been holding her here in place because his alarm clock is gonna ring in 10 minutes, we called Haechan over. He’s coming soon. It’s a shame he decided to make Donghyuck sleep at freaking 4 am in the morning, knowing very well that we need Donghyuck to rest up. The angels tried taking her away. What do you think this means?”

Mr Zhong curses. He can’t get you out of Dream Land by force, because he has no access there. How on earth did you get there? This is getting dangerous. If Haechan comes then-

“I came as quick as I heard the news. Where is she?”

“There.”

“Could it be? Is… is it really her?” He whimpers as he gets close to the screen. “Can I talk to her?”

“Yes, here.” Sun hands over the control to Haechan.

You watch Donghyuck’s head dip for a moment. “Hyuck? Hyuck? Is everything alright?” Sitting on the white blanket over the high grass, you just spent your time listening to the… angel… a huge white cloud covered in mist…. All the Angel did was stretch it’s hand towards you, repeating the phrase ‘Come home.’ You were so tempted to go… not knowing where, but Donghyuck held you back. The angel… kept saying ‘Come home’. And even now as Donghyuck holds onto his head, you wonder if he’s switching personalities from Sun to someone else… you hope it’s not Mr Zhong. So when he comes to a start you call: “Haechan?”

“How did you know it’s me? You still look so beautiful, my baby,” His teary eyes open and you smile holding onto his cheek. He holds onto your hand and kisses the inside of your palm. “You’re really here, I miss you so much, these past few days have been drowsy and lonely without you.”

“I don’t know how long I have until the dream is over, but I need your help Haechan,” You draw closer to him. “I know it’s going to be hard to believe, but ever since I’ve died… I’ve been here with you. Inside of your conscious…”

“You’ve been here? My conscious? That’s impossible.”

“Yes, every day I’ve been here. Close to you, hearing everything you’ve been doing. I fear that something is happening, they’re trying to make you forget me.” You nod your head trying to come clean. “I’ve been with a guy called Mr Zhong, and he keeps wanting me to get out of here. He’s in the Core-”

“Wait wait wait what?” He backs up-  “You had her all this time?” By now you know he’s not talking to you but someone else… in his head, as he looks to the side looking confused. “What do you mean she’s lying? Then who the hell am I speaking to? She said-”

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

You’re jolted to the side and suddenly… You’re back in the dark room. “What?” You get off the bed and wonder what happened? You run to the door- almost falling over when it opens instantly. Mr Zhong.

“I could strangle you to death right now.” He huffs and fumes. Holding his hand out, you watch on object appear. “I’m bounding you in chains. Because I can’t trust you.” You’re surprised when he holds onto your hand and chains you to the bed. You plead in shock trying to pull away. He gets tape and places it over your lips. You watch him walk out the room before a pit of darkness is formed. Muffling your cries you can’t believe that this is happening again. How long will he trap you in here? It’s not fair.

The next day Donghyuck awakes from a confused dream, he remembers seeing you and hearing you. He saw you wanted to go to the light but he held you back pleading you to stay with him. He goes to work, it’s a FrIday so the day drags as he’s got no plans.

Meanwhile inside of him, there’s a full on search for you.

Sun begin to ‘take the wheel’ and run Donghyuck’s body, simply because Mr Zhong is in a meeting with Haechan. Thus, leaving Donghyuck to be run by Sun. Who is active tonight.

Donghyuck finds himself in a bar. Dimmed lights, bass so low, alcohol and pool tables being the only source of entertainment for the few loitering people inside the bar on the casual Friday night. Donghyuck is obviously here for the alcohol to drink and just forget... and slowly pass into tomorrow. He doesn’t want to wake up. If anything he wishes to dream about you again. He doesn’t want to feel anything. He just wants to be numb and drink… It’s what the Body wants anyway. The pain of crying for your death is too much… they just want to be numb.

“Hey,”

Donghyuck looks up to the bartender… It’s Jisung. Unlike the other days when Jisung’s face is upbeat and ready for a conversation, he looks down casted, and Donghyuck can guess why. “Hi.” He greets back lowly clearing his throat that sounded so clogged and choked from crying. “Can I get a row of shots.”

Jisung nods his head.

“Regular or-”

“No.” Donghyuck shakes his head. “I want something strong. Really, really strong.”

“Coming right up.” He’s tempted to go, but after hearing the news and seeing all over his social media about your death, he sticks around. “Sorry about your loss man,” He pipes up. He’d recall how you and Donghyuck used to be tight. You guys would often come to the bar to celebrate together… in a quiet space, laughing and giggling, getting tipsy and touching each other till you’d both go home and do just what he can imagine. You were a pleasure in Jisung’s low key bar. He enjoyed seeing a young couple be together for a long time and staying consistent to their ‘Friday night bar night’. Not only did he know he’d get money on that day, but he also knew you’d grace him with compliments about how fine he looks especially when you wanted to make your boyfriend a bit jealous. But now seeing Donghyuck here all on his own, looking like shit is a representation of how he must feel inside.

“It’s cool.” Donghyuck quickly discards. You were friendlier with Jisung then Donghyuck was. “Can I just have my shots?”

But Jisung is in a caring mood tonight and opts for a conversation instead. “You know, I lost a friend of mine once, and I realized that drinking my pain away wouldn’t do much, so I-”

‘Why the fuck is he not giving me my drinks?’ Sun complains looking at the screen of Donghyuck’s eyes. ‘Ask him again.’

Donghyuck interrupts Jisung. “Look man, tonight’s just not one of those nights. I just want to drink.”

“Truth be told, you actually look like you need a chat. And all I’m saying is that I’m all ears-”

“Thanks for the offer, I’ll take it into consideration.” Donghyuck tightly smiles with no emotions in his eyes. “But may I please just have my drinks.”

Jisung takes the hint when seeing Donghyuck’s cold gaze. “Ayt, but just so you know-”

Banging the table furious and abruptly standing up Donghyuck grabs Jisung by the collars staring at him deadly in the eye. “I just want a fucking drink.” Grating his teeth, Donghyuck tosses Jisung back, leaving the poor guy startled by what just happened.

“Alright shit. I’ll get you your damn drinks.” Jisung stares shocked and eyes still in a daze. “Just calm the fuck down before you get beat the fuck up.” Jisung turns around still with an upset gaze as he fixes up the drinks.

“You know what,” Donghyuck doesn’t finish his sentence as he gets up and heads out. You weren’t here anymore it would be pointless to carry on the tradition without you. He’s just gonna go to the club.

-

“Come with me.” Is the first thing Mr Zhong says when opening up the door. He unchains you just by opening up the palm of his hand.

“Where?”

He ignores you and carries on walking. Trying to show him that you’re angry is pointless as he doesn’t even pay mind to your face. He steps in the elevator and you’re next to him before the doors close and suddenly you’re in a dimly lit place.

“I must warn you.” Mr Zhong speaks as he steps out. “The Mind’s layout isn’t as civil as the upper Core or Cyber Dream.” Mr Zhong places his hand on the handle of a door that reads ‘MIND’ and grips it tightly. “Stay by me at all times. And please, do not touch anything. That’s a warning.”

“I won’t.” You grumpily say, as realization dawns on you that you’re going to the Mind. Walking behind Mr Zhong at all times, you tremble with every step, as the floors shake. “Why’s the floor shaking so much?” You question and stand still when you feel another heavy tremor.

Mr Zhong sighs. “That’s not the Mind for sure, the Body is partying or something.”

“Partying?” You go on. “You could’ve just used your elevator.”

“Unfortunately here I can’t use much of my power, because this isn’t my domain or territory.” Mr Zhong fills you in. “When we’re in the Upper part of Donghyuck’s body, I’m in control. But from the neck downwards, this is the Body and Mind’s layers.”

Still following behind Mr Zhong, you take in all the aspects of the Mind, which is a literal bloody sight. The walls are hollow red with veins gauging out from time to time and blood being spilled before a few ‘workers’ in red… just with empty faces quickly come and clean up. Everywhere is red, veiny and just so flesh like. The deeper you go, the darker it gets. Maroon and smelling like his natural scent. Right now you feel so close to him even though you can’t see him. There’s a door that says ‘heart’ and you furrow your brows.

“Are we going in there?”

“You’re about to head into Donghyuck’s heart. Literally.” Mr Zhong is about to speak, but the space and area around gets darker then usual, not even the maroon bloody lights can light up the way to the door. “We have to hurry, the Body is doing things that I hate again.”

“Such as?”

“Drinking. I don’t know if you recall but Donghyuck once exposed to alcohol, large portions of it, he does crazy things.” You get a flash of Donghyuck drinking and you recall just how wild he was. Mr Zhong mumbles finally getting to the door. “A damn alcoholic.”

Just from opening up the door, you feel this deflated downing energy, everything is lifeless and your ears are exposed to weeping. You swear that’s one of the common sounds you’ve been hearing from Donghyuck. He’s just been a crying mess. Instantly you feel emotional and your eyes water up as well. Why’d you have to leave him all alone? The room is still dark but every once in a while it flashes a little maroon and then you’re able to take in the view. Just like the upper Core room, it’s spacious but instead of multiple little Donghyuck’s running around, there’s only one person seated behind a desk looking at screens. When you look at the screen you see dimed videos of your face, your lips, your laugh and how the specific moments shown on the screen remind you of special times you’ve had with Donghyuck.

Whether it’s holding hands and just looking up to him with innocent eyes. Or your muted talking as you smile at him. Haechan, The Mind seems to be watching it all.

There’s one where you’ve just won the scrabble competition (in which you represented your university) and you jump up high cheering on as the crowd around and your teammates also join in on the celebration. You can see Donghyuck from his eyes point of view running towards you yelling out in pure ecstasy and joy! Once he gets to you, he lifts you up so high that you begin laughing, and when he brings you back down, your lips and his merge and he holds you so tight. You recall how the week before you were so stressed that you deprived him of any kisses, of any attention just so that you could study and prepare for the competition. So to watch it again, brings a memory to your head of how thrilled Donghyuck was on your behalf.

Another video that plays on the screen in how you’re sitting on his lap as he plays video games. You’re on your phone texting your friend while he’s immersed into the game and talking to his friends over the microphone. It was just calm and simple, and then out of nowhere he kissed your cheek. “I love you, you know that right?”

“I know,” You smiled at him placing a kiss over his lips. “I love you too,”

One video captures your attention the most. It’s just your face as you’re sleeping. The room is a bit dark, but from Donghyuck’s eyes he can see you. He leans close and kisses your forehead. You hum out with a little chuckle.

“Babe just sleep,”

“I can’t,” he whispers, and you can tell he’s smiling. You can’t remember this at all, but just watching how pure everything looks as he draws closer to you and wraps his arms around you. Moaning and continuously pampering your face with kisses. “This is the first time you’re sleeping here in my room, and I’m just realizing how perfect you are for me,”

“Hyuck, sleep,” You giggle. “You’re pussy drunk,” you mumble but still accept his kisses on your face.

You can hear him laughing… “You were so good tonight,” he whispers. You smile to yourself, in faint remembrance, it’s the first time you made love to him. You were flattered the entire night, and he was submissively dominant with you and at the end, he couldn’t stop admiring and praising you. “I can’t believe how good you were,”

There’s a long pause of silence. “My parents would’ve killed you,”

“Why?”

“We had sex before marriage,” you mutter out. Donghyuck looks down to how your arms wrap around him and you get closer to his body. “I don’t think they’d approve,”

Donghyuck is silent for a really long time before he finally speaks. “The purpose of marriage, to my understanding as you’ve said before, is for emotional commitment. We’ve been together for like 4 years now. If we weren’t in love at that moment, then it was just going to be sex. But right now, tell me what you feel? Was it just sex?”

Donghyuck looks down to you as you look up to him with a little smile. You shake your head. “It wasn’t just sex because I felt safe. As in, I wasn’t scared to give you my whole body, my whole mind… my everything. I’m not scared or anything, because I know that you’re my lover, and I will always be there for you. The same way you’ll be there for me, right?” Your eyes look so hopeful.

“You have no idea how much, I just want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Donghyuck smiles kissing your lips as you kiss his again.

“I feel like I don’t want this night to end,” You lay your head on his chest and Donghyuck’s fingers play with your back and your head.

“Same here,” he mumbles. “So let’s make it official,”

That gets you to turn your head and rest your chin on his chest. “What are you saying Hyuck?” You laugh a little. “That was just so sudden,”

“You’re so beautiful like this,” he giggles, running his hand over your hair and down your face. “I’m saying we make it official. Courtship. Let’s just spend the rest of these months seeing what marriage would be like, and if you like, I’ll buy you a ring,”

You squint your eyes at him with a playful smile. “Dude, are you serious?” You laugh. “Is this like a proposal or something?”

“I mean, I can’t get on my knee now and propose can I?”

“Donghyuck,” You can’t stop smiling as you watch him get up. You too get up as you wrap the blanket over your boobs. Donghyuck sits up and reaches down into his pants. Your eyes enlarge when he gets out a ring. Thankfully, as you remember, it’s his own ring. “For a second there, I thought that was a real ring.”

“But then again, wouldn’t you want me to propose in a grand dramatic way?” He chuckles as he holds his hand out. You place yours on his hand and he kisses it looking at you. “Here’s my ring, this will be my commitment to you.”

“So much for a purity ring,” You giggle as you watch him place the ring on your index finger.

“It can still be a purity ring,” He pats your chin. “Just with a different meaning. We’ll wait again,”

“Hyuck this is huge,” You whisper, blushing and looking at the ring. “I don’t know if I’m saying yes because I’m dick drunk, or if I really want to,”

“That’s why I said, we’ll wait,” He lays back down, just as you follow him. You’re just giggling as you lay your head on his chest.

“Hyuck you’re crazy, right now you’re just crazy,” You’re laughing as you look up to him. “I’m just as crazy,”

“Crazy people get divorced even after promising each other that they wouldn’t.” Donghyuck says. “I don’t plan on making a commitment I can’t keep. Especially when it involves you babe,”

“Same here,” You whisper out. “I guess, till death do us apart,”

“Never,” Donghyuck shakes his head. “My love for you goes beyond that. Even in the next life, if there is one. I just want to keep loving you… and only you. No one else. I’d probably not be able to move on,”

Mr Zhong hears that, and he can remember that the Upper Core wasn’t in control that night, neither was the Body. The one in control was the Mind, Haechan. Mr Zhong reminiscences just how he was that night when Donghyuck was mindlessly pouring out his heart. Mr Zhong knew that his friend loved you so much, but hearing this confession, these were the Mind’s thoughts. He never knew it ran this deep. He thought it was just a physical attraction to you. That the Body, Sun, loved your body and was finally happy to have sex with someone. Mr Zhong didn’t know that the one in control of these recurring feelings was the Mind. It just explains how precious you are to Donghyuck as a whole. It also just goes to show how far Haechan was willing to go if he gave you a ‘purity’ ring. Mr Zhong turns to you, and you’re a crying mess. You’re crying silently and he can only guess that Haechan too is crying silently while watching this. He sighs. He already got in so much trouble for hiding you. There was no way now that Haechan would release you.

Your voice catches Haechan and he instantly presses pause on the video snapping his head back. Of course his teary eyes are red from mourning you, but when he sees you and Mr Zhong, his posture immediately straightens and he tries to act cool. “You’re here.” He clears his throat. “I was just…”

“Haechan.” Mr Zhong moves forwar-

“Were you really going to marry me?” You ask.

Haechan’s eye instantly go over to you. Your face still so real and beautiful. He nods his head. His voice coming out lowly, afraid that you’ll be taken away just like all the other times. This time he takes in your presence and beauty… you’re here. “I wanted to, I still do,” he tilts his head to the side as you get swamped in his eyes. “You’re just as beautiful,”

Your heart swells with such pain, and you gulp looking down. “Mr Zhong,” You turn to Mr Zhong, pleadingly. Mr Zhong can tell where it’s going, and he doesn’t want you to go there in that direction so he looks away from you and continues talking to the Mind.

“Haechan.” He calls, bringing Haechan’s eyes away from you and to him. “Right now we’re in a dilem-”

The ground shakes tremendously and Mr Zhong holds onto the chair just as Haechan keeps his hands on the desk. You meanwhile sway with the violent shake. It happened again.

Mr Zhong sighs. “Haechan, you know how reckless Sun is when he’s in control. Please. I came here to just talk to you about Y/n and how you have to let her go.”

“Straight to the point.” Haechan scoffs and looks away. “After hiding her away from us you just want to bring her back and then take her away again. You’re so full of shit.”

“You know what will happen if she stays here longer. I know it’s hard to-” Mr Zhong quivers when another tremor erupts. Shit. Donghyuck is probably in a club or something, drinking badly and the body is allowing him to do whatever.

“You know what Mr Zhong. I’m not in a mood to talk to you.” Haechan starts and presses some buttons on the keyboard trying to see what’s going on out there. Unlike when the core loses control to the body, the mind can actually gain control back. But when seeing where Donghyuck is, Haechan shakes his head. In a club. With several bodies jumping and bumping into him. And to make it worse, Donghyuck is tipsy. How much did he drink? “You said we should have 2 weeks of grieving. I can grant you that. But I can’t let go of Y/n,”

“Haech-”

“Bro she’s here.” Haechan turns around snapping. “She’s literally here.” His voice pipes down. “She’s not just some imagination like I thought she was. I thought I was going crazy, but man, she’s here. Do you know I felt when Donghyuck was about to die when going down that mountain in speed… and then I saw and heard her voice? Do you know how shitty I felt when Jaemin accused me of killing her? Do you have any idea how worthless I’ve been feeling these past days just seeing myself in the mirror? But the mere thought of her… Mr Zhong… just thinking of her, I’d feel whole again. That night when I first felt her hand I didn’t know what to believe. But then I saw her. I stopped Donghyuck from ending it, because of her. I thought she was just a... a figment of his imagination. But she’s not. She’s real. She’s here. I just want to be here with her,”

“You’re gonna regret it.” Mr Zhong whispers out of your ear shot and he gets closer to Haechan. “Do you want her to become like me?”

That seems to get Haechan upset as he pushes on Mr Zhong’s chest. You can only wonder what’s happening as you see the anger cross over Haechan’s eyes. “She won’t become like you.”

“How sure are you?” Mr Zhong clinches his jaw. His eyes deadly and even a bit tearful. “How sure are you that she won’t be st-”

“Because I love her!” Haechan yells out. “And times are different. She’s here for a reason. And that’s what I’ll keep my mind to.”

“Haechan yo-” Another tremor causes Mr Zhong to screech out in annoyance. He needed to get out of here and try and gain control of Donghyuck again to get him out of the bar and go home… but now, he’s just really upset that Haechan doesn’t want to consider his thoughts. “Fuck. I can’t stand this. I already told you that this isn’t up for discussion. I’m doing everyone here a favor. Afer 2 weeks. I’ll make her leave. Let’s go.”

“Can I just stay here for little bit Mr Zhong,” You ask gently still looking at Haechan. When he looks at you too, simultaneously you can feel like there’s a literal connection.

“No you can’t stay here.”

“But-”

“I said let’s go.”

“Come to think of it.” Haechan speaks up with his eyes turning to a glare when looking at Mr Zhong. “You defiled me by going behind my back and assigning her to the Core. Who made you in charge of her?”

Mr Zhong sighs. “It’s the fact that I knew that if you knew, or rather if anyone else in this place knew that she was alive in, that you wouldn’t let her go. I was protecting her. From this.”

“You don’t have to protect her anymore. She’s got her own conscious. Her own mind.”

“Let’s go.” Mr Zhong turns his back and walks to the door not wanting to argue about this.

Your heart is beating fast, but when Haechan’s soft gaze turns to you, as if telling to do what you must, you feel safe being with him. “No.”

“No?” Mr Zhong turns around in stun and surprise. He stomps to you, but you’re quickly pulled back just as Haechan gets in front of you. “Haechan get out of my face.”

“She said no.” Haechan’s low voice is nothing to mess with as he sounds threatening. “Last I checked. You’re in my territory. You’ve got no power here. So leave. Before I make you.”

“Haechan.”

“Mr Zhong.” Haechan calls firmly.  You peek from behind Haechan, and Haechan can feel just how your tiny fingers gently come up on his sides. He misses this. He misses this feeling. “I said leave.”

Mr Zhong clinches his jaw. He strides out with so much anger in him. When the door closes, there’s another tremor that makes itself known. But you hold tighter onto Haechan as his hands stretch out behind you making sure you’re steady.

Haechan’s fingers over you, and yours on his sides makes you feel good.

Even though you’ve always been around the others who look like Donghyuck, being alone right now with Haechan feels equivalent to being with Donghyuck. You just want to see his face. You want to feel him. To just…

“I just want you to be alive,” Haechan steals the words from your lips, as he whispers it to you. Still not being able to look at your face. He’s finally alone with you, but it feels so sacred.

“But I’m here,” you mutter and peek your head on his shoulder looking into his eyes. “It’s you that’s not here,”

“I am though,” That gets him to slowly turn around and longingly tilt his head down. “I’m the realist thing to Donghyuck. His spirit,” Haechan’s eyes that were clear are now glassy. You’re so real… He can’t believe you’re here. “But Mr Zhong is right,” He sniffs surprisingly himself when saying that. It feels good to have you this real in front of him. “You can’t stay here,” But he doesn’t want to ruin things.

“Why?” You shake your head, your arms still being around him as your eyes search all over his own. “Why can’t I be here with you, isn’t this better than actually being dead?”

“Is it,” He runs his hands down your face. “It fucking is.”

Once Mr Zhong gets to the Upper core room, he’s stunned when looking at the screen and seeing Donghyuck making out with some random woman... “You’ve gotta be shitting me. What the hell is the Body doing?”

But also down at the Body, Sun is surprised by the sudden kiss that Donghyuck gives to a random lady. Of course the lady is confused at first but then she gives into the kiss and has her arms around him. “That’s not us. Who’s in control right now?”

Haechan picks you up by your waist, as you wrap your legs around him. “I just want you so bad right now,”

“Have me all you want,” You’re breathless when kissing Haechan back equally as hard and longingly.

All the way in the control centers, Sun tries to stop the action of Donghyuck getting down on a girl. Mr Zhong watches as Donghyuck is hooked to the girl he’s making out with- it’s getting pretty strong as instantly Donghyuck’s hormones act as an edge for him to feel needy and lustful. And thus, the Core’s lights slowly begin to shut down… allowing the body to have full control of the erotic moment.

“We’re supposed to be grieving, what the hell.” Mr Zhong walks away, not wanting to feel any part of these emotions.

Sun in the Body center feels the heat just from the simple kiss turning to French, but he too wonders who’s in control of the heavy, needy, lustfully intention. He watches as the familiar lights turn dim showing that the body is not in control. Although he watches, he’s quite upset that it’s not Y/n that Donghyuck is kissing.

However for Haechan who’s full on hands with you, doesn’t notice the bright light shining within the mind, showing that he’s now in full control.

Donghyuck has no time to think, he’s thoughts are clouded by the steamy make out session that he has with the lady. They move from the dance floors to the public toilet, barely even walking straight and moving in a tipsy needy way to one of the stalls, Donghyuck’s morals are forsaken when he takes the girl in a seemingly loving passionate way. As he’s drunk it’s difficult for him to control or focus, but one thing he knows is that for some reason in this moment… he feels closer to you. You’re here with him. He can strongly feel that. Even though the little part in his core knows it’s not you, he still feels your strong presence.

Haechan places you on a table in another section of his own control center, your lips not leaving his once just as he unfastens his band and pulls down his pants till his waist. You pull your skirt up and remove your underwear, Haechan gently places his tip in between your wet folds before breaking the kiss and taking a peek at you. Your cheeks are a shade pink and you nervously smile. “Do you trust me?”

“Always,” Your heart beat syncs again as he keeps his grip on your waist, with his other hand on his member as it strokes over your wet folds. It’s the fact that he was your first and you’ve only done it once with him, but you still feel so cautious and nervous. Being here with him in... inside of Donghyuck, you still feel so much love and passion oozing out of him, and all the emotions are washed into you. When he pushes more into you, you arch your back and hold him closer.

“Hyuck,”

Donghyuck hears the soft whimper in his head, he hears your soft yelp and it only causes him to pull the random girl closer to him. His lips find hers, envisioning it as ‘yours’- but even though he envisions it – he still feels strongly close to you. Haechan takes control allowing you to feel much more comfortable as he moves a bit quicker. Donghyuck feels so much pleasure as he pounds harder and faster making love to you- even though he’s with a random person.

Even when he locks eyes with her all he can see in his head is you. He can hear you, he can feel you. He doesn’t know how, but feeling so close to you in this moment allows him to hold you close. Mr Zhong tries to block out the protruding thoughts that Donghyuck thinks over and over again. The moaning, the love making-

His eyes slowly enlarge… “The body is not in control right now… because Donghyuck’s drunk… that means… Haechan’s having sex with Y/n.” Mr Zhong cuss when realizing that disobeyed him and that you’re probably touching Haechan right now. “What’s wrong with this girl?” He gets up from his chair quickly using his elevator to go down to The Mind. Once the elevator door opens up, he speed walks along the long bloody corridor trying to reach to Haechan’s center quickly.

The random girl’s legs grip Donghyuck’s waist closer to her as he pounds harder and faster, getting sloppier each time she squirts. He’s weak, he can feel an overwhelming amount of pleasure. His eyes are tightly shut kissing the girl’s face off. But then-

All of a sudden he feels like he’s getting slapped. A sharp slap gets him falling out of the girl and on the floor.

“Oh- are you okay?” The girl asks slightly frustrated that she was close before pulled out suddenly, heavily panting, her legs shaking begging for more. She uses her own fingers to finish off closing her eyes angling her head upwards.

Donghyuck however is still in a trance. Did someone just slap him? He blinks several times to get rid of being dizzy, but all he can see is his stiffly hard cock popping. He gets up holding onto the sink. He tries to calm himself off. It’s strange how suddenly, he’s no longer in the mood to get off. Stuffing his stiff manhood back in his drawer and getting his pants up, he looks up at the mirror- ignoring the girl who’s finishing off by herself. In the mirror he sees himself.

Tired. Drained.

He calls your name silently when thinking back to what he saw and heard in his head. It’s like you where there with him. He could feel you, literally feel you. Woozily moving to the side, he watches the girl squeal out before another stream of cum leaves her throbbing pink pussy. It doesn’t turn him on, it only makes him feel sad, especially when the girl’s face is revealed. Its not you. He steps back, finding himself out of the toilet and eventually drunkenly passing by the crowd trying to get himself to go out.

The fast pace emotions and mind wondering what’s going on inside of him- he stops once he’s outside the club and hurls out on the ground. Some passers pull gross faces moving away from him, the bouncer of the club groans and grabs a handful of Donghyuck’s shirt before violently tossing him further away from the club doors. Donghyuck hits his head and suddenly he’s out of conscious.

“Hyuck,”

“Mh?”

“Hyuck wake up,”

“Hm?”

Donghyuck’s head is buzzing when hearing something… your voice. He jolts up instantly when pairing it to your voice, but… you’re nowhere in sight. Left and right he turns his head before wincing and holding onto his stomach. He notices that he’s somehow by your family old home, by the graveyard… wait… how did he get here?

Minutes before….

“No!” Mr Zhong grabs your hand forcing you out of Haechan’s grip. “No more!”

“Why the hell do you want me gone so bad!” You screech pulling your hand violently away from him just as he shuts the door to lock Haechan away and his elevator comes. “Why can’t I just be happy with Donghyuck-”

“Look around! This isn’t the fucking real world anymore.” Mr Zhong motions around when suddenly the elevator reaches the Upper Core room. Of course some core members are surprised when seeing you, but now, even though Donghyuck/Sun is drunk, it’s no secret that you’ve been inside of him for a long time. “You’re trapped here! The longer you fool around here, the harder it’ll be for you to get out-”

“And what if I don’t want to go out! What if I want to be here, inside of him!” Your eyes water up. “What if I don’t want to go- he buried my body ready to leave me behind… what if I’m afraid of leaving him, of leaving everything behind- of just… of just dying.” Weakly your legs give out as you fall to the ground when he tosses you in his dark room.

He’s about to close the door on you but you shed some tears saying something that has him frozen in spot. “I don’t want to go Mr Zhong. I don’t want to leave everything behind. I’m not ready to die. I don’t want to leave Donghyuck. I love him. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to die. I just want to love him… I just want him. I want my life back… I want him so much.”

Mr Zhong watches you on the floor balling your eyes out. The realization coming again that you’re dead and that really you have left the world. Silently he takes a seat on the ground allowing you your moment to grieve. He knows it’s hard. He knows what you’re feeling. He knows it all. He understands your tears and pain, it’s why he tries to cool himself down to speak to you more calmly.

“I’m going to tell you a little story.” He speaks in a whispering tone. “And if this doesn’t change your mind, I promise you I’ll stop trying to get you out of here.” He gulps. “If this story doesn’t change your mind, you’ll be stuck in here… with me. Like me. You’ll have Donghyuck, but it’s not as luxurious as it seems.”

You quietly exhale listening to him as that gets your attention. You look at him seated across from you. Even though darkness is second nature, you can still see him. And by his words, you already prepare yourself to stay with Donghyuck… Haechan and Sun, because there is nothing that he will say that will make you want to leave. You just can’t wait to stay with Haechan.

“Donghyuck was only 9 years old when this happened. He met a boy. An 8 year old boy. A foreign exchange student who moved from China to Korea. Donghyuck and the boy instantly clicked despite the language barrier. They clicked in such a way that the young boy’s parents were relieved that their son had made a friend. Donghyuck taught the boy how to speak and was just of much help to the young boy whenever. The boy’s parents loved Donghyuck. So it was only natural that Donghyuck and the young boy ended up becoming best friends who did everything together.”

Your ears are attentive when listening to this story. You’re hooked, not because of the young 9 year old Donghyuck, but because of how Mr Zhong speaks. This is almost the first time he’s looking vulnerable.

“One day they were walking home for school… and came across a junkyard. Curiously they snuck inside the forbidden territory and began exploring. They discovered so many new things and even took some souvenirs.” Mr Zhong chuckles faintly. “The young boy suggested playing a game before they left. Hide and seek. They played that game back and forth in the junkyard,” Mr Zhong’s face slowly scrunches in confusion. “They played 4 games before it was Donghyuck’s turn again. Donghyuck…”

You look up when Mr Zhong stops speaking. You’re surprised to see him with one hand tightly over his mouth as his own eyes are glistening and look moist. You don’t speak, watching him stay quiet. He regains composure again and removes his hand from his face.

“The young boy hid in a freezer. It was broken of course, so he felt safe getting inside of it. In his hiding position from time to time he would open the top and peek his head out. He laughed when he could see Donghyuck getting confused… it’s through the little laughs and giggles that Donghyuck spotted him. He was busted… but then… Something happened.” Mr Zhong licks his dry lips as he stares into the void. “The young boy watched Donghyuck getting approached by some guy in uniform. The guy said something that made Donghyuck nervously turn and began heading in the direction of the exit. For some reason Donghyuck left. The young boy was too afraid to step out of the freezer just in case the man would yell and shout. He waited for a really long time. Because now there wasn’t just one man, but they were many men walking around the junkyard. The boy was getting scared. He just thought that if he sat inside quietly, that when those men would go away he’d quickly sneak out and run. Unfortunately for him, those men stayed for hours on end. They were construction site workers. So, they were working. He began losing hope but then- the freezer top lip opened. He thought that he was caught… thankfully it was just Donghyuck. Donghyuck looked nervous and scared but he assured the boy to quickly climb out. The boy tried climbing out… and he… he…” Mr Zhong stops and turns to the floor, he sniffs.

You don’t know what has the most of your attention now. Perhaps it’s the story, maybe the expression Mr Zhong uses, or it could be that… that little boy was Mr Zhong…

“I can’t remember well what happened from there, but I know for some reason, Donghyuck was knocked over and fell to the ground when a sudden… claw came from the sky… and… picked up the freezer. The young boy was tossed back inside freezer… Chugged around as if he was in a washing machine.” Mr Zhong bites his lip. “He tried getting up to get out. But he was struggling to lift the lid up… It… the freezer was being lifted up and then from such a high feet it dropped to the bottom… causing the freezer door to creak a little. But… the boy was already injured. He still tried to lift the lid up with one arm. He saw that he was on a moving platform. He needed to get out fast. It was already too late… the boy died a slow painful death… however his spirit did not die… it was called back.”

“Mr Zhong?” You call out sadly as you watch him shiver.

“Donghyuck ran home. He ran home and… shut himself in his room.” Mr Zhong’s eyes stay closed. “The young boy’s parents came over, they were anxious worried and crying… they asked if Donghyuck had seen him, and Donghyuck… he lied. He said, he hadn’t. The parents filed a missing case report. That whole week was a nightmare… Every day when Donghyuck would go to the school, he’d see the boy’s mother standing outside the gate with a poster of her missing son. She’d desperately ask the other kids if they’d seen him. But no one had. Donghyuck… felt guilty. From time to time he went to the junkyard to search for the young boy. Donghyuck was… traumatized. Guilt ate him from the inside… he refused to move on without finding the body… because by now he already knew that the young boy was dead.”

“Mr Zhong…” you cup your mouth.

“Donghyuck refused to move on. He was scared that he had killed someone else’s son. But something crazy happened. He prayed to find the boy.” Mr Zhong opens his eyes. “The boy was dead, but somehow, he was still inside of him. Donghyuck began hearing voices in his head. He’d see images of the little boy… they’d talk together in his room. Although physically the boy wasn’t there, Donghyuck saw this kid with his own naked eyes in the spiritual world. The little boy too… he didn’t know what was going on but he just wanted to go home to his parents… he wanted to leave Donghyuck’s mind, but Donghyuck insisted that he’d find a way out for the boy. It was comforting at first… but as days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months, the little boy began getting sucked into a personality that wasn’t his. He wanted to leave, but Donghyuck didn’t want to let him go. Donghyuck promised the boy that he’d find a way out for him… so that he could live again. I think that’s why the little boy stayed… he thought he could live again- he ignored all the doors that opened up to try and help him to leave and instead he stayed in Donghyuck. Being inside of Donghyuck, had him feeling that he was still alive and that he could come back alive. If only they could find his body then they could make him come alive.”

There’s a moment of silence as your eyes water… could this little boy be… You’re completely speechless as you listen to Mr Zhong…

“Of course this brought attention to Donghyuck as his own parents saw how the death affected their son… they watched Donghyuck talk to himself about a way to escape… they saw their son obsessed with talking to ghosts and wanting them to come alive… so… they had him hypnotized.” Mr Zhong looks to his own hands. “Hypnotized to forget the little boy. A so called solution to make him stop seeing things. And it worked. They didn’t help him move on, or even help the little boy trapped to get out. No. They just erased the little kid from his head. And so, the next morning, when the boy woke up and tried to speak to Donghyuck. Donghyuck never heard a thing. It began getting scary, as the only way out was shut completely. The little boy slowly became lonely as his own best friend… forgot him. Do you know how many years went by? Do you know how lonely it got when his own friend grew a conscious and couldn’t even recognize him? Do you know how terrifying it got to wake up in the same place every day being forced to forget who he was? He hadn’t seen his family in so long? Everything the little boy loved, he couldn’t properly because he was now forced to become someone else. He missed touch, tasting? Seeing and living with his own eyes and life. Do you know what it means to give up your life for someone else? Do you know just the amount of endurance the boy had to go through, adjusting to the fact that he was now forced to live as someone else? That little boy has been alone for more than 22 years and it may seem fantastic to spend your life trapped inside of someone, but you’ll begin to feel the effects when the person you’re in doesn’t even know who you are.”

You shake your head. “Mr Zhong, I don’t get this. What does this have to do with me? I hate to be inconsiderate, but it’s not like they hypnotized him to forget about me.”

Mr Zhong nods his head. “True. My best friend was hypnotized to forget me. So of course that doesn’t affect you. It was pointless telling you that story, I should’ve just skipped straight to the point.” You had a feeling he was telling the story about himself… but hearing him actually confessing to the name has you sinking in sadness. Until he opens his mouth… “I stayed here because Donghyuck refused to confess what he’d done to me. My soul has become restless. Rest less spirits don’t go to their resting place. No, they stay here until the person who killed them, confesses to either moving on, or admitting what they had done.”

Your heart sinks… drops to the ground. What did he just say? “Restless spirit?”

“Why do you think you’re in here?

“I didn’t mean to be insensitive Mr Zhong… but this isn’t funny. What you’re saying is scary…”

“I asked you why you think you’re here?” He ignores you and continues. “Donghyuck may have not been the one who ran you over, but he… did do something. He refuses to let you go. He wants you to haunt him until he’s dead. Just wait and see how he’ll be so obsessed with spending so much time in his ‘head’ with you that in the outside world they deem him crazy. Watch as friends begin to see him as strange because he doesn’t want to break the bond he has with you, watch as your brothers get annoyed that he keeps using your name in vain, watch as his perfectly normal life spirals into only wanting to focus on you. Just watch and see how the only answer that will make sense to him is death. Suicide. Watch as you see him paying all his attention on you and neglecting that he really has a life.”

Hearing that, it doesn’t sound as bad… “That doesn’t sound as bad.”

Mr Zhong shakes his head. It’s like you’re okay with being trapped here. It’s like you’re okay with letting Donghyuck not have a life anymore as he focuses on you. You’re okay with letting him not move on from you, to try and find another kind of happiness. You’re okay with making him numb to reality and float by like a ghost. You’re selfishly okay with him not moving on. By allowing Donghyuck to self-destruct. You’re selfish.

Mr Zhong gets up and shakes his head. “The dark truth about death, is that you end up losing everything and everyone you love. Once you’re dead it’s over. No second chances. One thing that I’ve learnt while being here, is that you either help the person to move on, or you haunt them with your presence, adding a cloud over their head. Weighing them down as they live with unsaid and unspoken confessions. So as you embark on this journey, I’m begging you don’t be the downfall of Donghyuck.”

The truth is, Mr Zhong never forgave Donghyuck for what he did to him. He never forgave Donghyuck for ending his life. Even though it wasn’t Donghyuck who killed him, Donghyuck could’ve said something, confessed of where Mr Zhong last was. Could’ve said… sorry.

When Mr Zhong woke up inside of Donghyuck he had the option to leave peacefully, or try to use Donghyuck’s body to shout and confess to the world. But unfortunately for him, his greed to be noticed inside of Donghyuck costed him his eternity and made him unknown. The bitterness inside of Mr Zhong transferred to Donghyuck, and added the personality and the greed and need to poses everything and anything. Maybe it’s why Donghyuck is just so obsessed over you like that. He miscalculated and ended up getting stuck inside of Donghyuck. Mr Zhong was forgotten. And maybe you won’t be forgotten, but surely, your selfish tendencies would manifest in Donhyuck one way or another.

What no one tells you about death, is that if you don’t learn to let go, you’ll never let go. You’ll never achieve a sense of control over yourself again. And unfortunately, that’s Donghyuck’s new path…

“I’m sorry Donghyuck.” Mr Zhong suddenly says. Tonight, he decided that he’d come up to the surface… because he didn’t want to be with you in his room. So instead being here in Donghyuck’s room, as Donghyuck sits idly on his bed is better. “I’m sorry.” Mr Zhong confesses again. “I blamed you all these years when really it was me that needed to let go. I hardened my heart because I was angry. My anger cost me my freedom. I’m so sorry for blaming you. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t kill me. You were just as scared. You were a little boy, what was I expecting from you… I’m sorry.” Mr Zhong is surprised when he blinks and a tear drops from his eye.

He’s even more shocked when he feels a gnawing stare. Turning to the side, he sees Donghyuck’s enlarged beaded eyes on him…

Maybe you’re close by and Donghyuck’s just zoning out again. No. Mr Zhong turns back and when seeing no one he looks back to Donghyuck… Is he looking at him?

“Ch- Chenle?” Donghyuck chokes a little in surprise. “Is that really you?”

Mr Zhong feels his whole heart cave in when hearing his name. He momentarily freezes as he pays attention to Donghyuck. Donghyuck without haste instantly wraps his arms around Chenle crying out. Mr Zhong is surprised when Donghyuck doesn’t fall over. He’s even more surprised when… feeling comes back over his being. He can… feel again? “Donghyuck?”

“Chenle.” The reuniting is somber as both guys cry into each other’s arms. Donghyuck because inside of him… he recognizes Chenle… the friend he once had who disappeared.

“I’m not as selfish as you think I am.”

Mr Zhong doesn’t let go of Donghyuck but he does hear your voice. He opens his eyes and sees you behind Donghyuck.

“I thought long and hard about what you said.” You watch Donghyuck shiver and shed and break down whilist hugging Chenle… “You’ve got such a nice name.”

“But… how did you do it?” Mr Zhong asks. “How did you do this?”

“How did I do what?” Donghyuck asks. Making you slightly chuckle. Donghyuck shakes his head. “All this time… how did I forget about you? Were you really lonely? You never went to heaven to see your parents? I’m sorry man. I’m sorry for leaving you alone.”

Mr Zhong can’t comprehend the feelings he’s feeling. It’s just so sudden. All this time he couldn’t feel anything, for more than years he couldn’t feel anything, but now he can feel. Breaking away from Donghyuck he notices that instead of wearing black clothes… he’s also wearing white… and also he’s back to his… younger self. Which only strikes Donghyuck again.

“You said I had to let him go, and a part of me didn’t want to do that. But then… with the help of Haechan, we digged deep and looked into his memories… and then I saw you. A small boy who died all too soon and quick.” You confess. “You’re right we only have one life. And I can’t be selfish to steal someone else’s life. The more I thought about it, the more I thought about Donghyuck… I cried. He has carried so much loss, so much pain in him. Looking into his memories, I saw him hiding away and not being himself because he felt like an outcast. He doubted himself so much that he found it better to find pleasure in letting someone carry his pain… in not being himself. That hurt me, because I had many opportunities to be myself… But he shielded himself. I would just want him to be free and not be controlled by me. To be himself. To be free of pain and carrying so many things inside of him. So now I’m ready,”

Donghyuck’s ears hear that and he turns around, surprised to also see you. “You’re ready to do what?”

“To let you go,” You say sadly as you smile gently to him. “How about you Chenle?”

“I’m ready too. I’m ready to forgive you, and letting you go.” He gulps feeling so many emotions all relating to joy and a bitter sweet sadness.

“You’re both going to leave me?” Donghyuck turns to you both… especially when a bright light presents itself right in the middle of his room. “No. Please don’t go.” He cries… and you can hear Haechan… just as much as Sun. “How do I live? How do I breathe? I’ll suffocate without you,”

“No you won’t. You’ll find peace, joy and the same way your drowned in love into me, you’ll be able to do that again with yourself and with someone else.” You hold onto his cheek. “I need you to live Hyuck. I need you to let me go and live. Be happy with yourself. Confess and be free. Me dying isn’t the end of the world, it’s the start of a new future. For both of us.”

“But what if I don’t want to be free? I just want you,” He holds onto both your hands, surprised at how warm they are feeling.

Come home… You hear… and this time, Mr Zhong can hear it too. It’s the angel calling you guys over to the other side.

“I want you too, but we both can’t have what we want.” You gulp. “Instead we can cherish what we had and move on. I’ll always be with you, Hyuck,” you try to say while maintaining your own tears.

“Please,” He cries. “Don’t leave me.”

“Come on buddy,” This time Mr Zhong speaks with a warm smile. You’re so happy to see him smile. For the longest of time, he has only had a terrible frown on his face, so to see a smile you feel comforted that you’re not going alone. “You know we won’t leave if you ask us too, but I’m asking you to let us leave… I don’t want to make you heavy anymore. I want you to be light.”

Donghyuck thinks… he looks between you both and he can hear his heart breaking. But he knows it’s important. In his head… the thoughts coming, are the thoughts of how they died. He remembers seeing so much blood… he recalls seeing the life fade away from their eyes. At least they won’t suffer anymore… a tear rolls down his face, just as you hug him on the side and Chenle hugs him on the other side. He gulps. “Okay. Okay. I’m ready to… to… let you go…”

He doesn’t open his eyes but he feels so much warmth all around him. Slowly all the feelling around him becomes cold and he sighs out when opening his eyes in his dark room… Inside of him, Haechan and Sun run to the Upper Core trying to see if Mr Zhong would be there… and of course he’s not there. As they both cry, creating a crying feast of everyone crying, Donghyuck can’t stop balling his eyes out at losing both you and Chenle. Again

Meanwhile, donw by the ‘neck of birth’ a being is formed. In the exact same replica of Donghyuck… the next one to take over the core in Mr Zhong's old place. He wakes up with a name and aim.

Name: Hyuck. Assigned to: Core

“Hyuck. Please live.” He hears an echo serenade of your voice. “You must live and let go.”

That night, eventually when Donghyuck is able to sleep he dreams of doves and a serene peace washing over him.

Fin.

[mochiwrites]

Putting Scarian in situation 36. Make those fools cuddle!

36. Avalanche/huddle for warmth (put that guy in situations!)

reblogs do more than likes!

"Welp, we're definitely gonna be stuck here for a while." Scar glances back at Grian, finding the avian tucked against the cave wall. His wings are wrapped around himself, trying to use the feathery appendages to block out the cold.

"Brilliant," Grian grumbles in return, much to Scar's amusement.

The pair had decided to go caving in an unexplored part of the server, much to the joy of their friends. They've been acting all weird with Grian and Scar lately, and Scar would be willing to bet that there's some correlation between their friends weird behavior and the heaps of powdered snow blocking the exit of the cave. And of course, neither Scar nor Grian have any proper tools for escape.

They have no choice but to wait until the snow either melts or some other plan comes to mind.

"Not much else we can do besides wait, I'm afraid my dear!" Scar sing-songs, turning on his heel to walk over to his husband. He joins him on the ground, sitting beside him. "Though I think I know a way to pass the time." He wiggles his eyebrows at Grian, causing the avian to roll his eyes.

Grian shoves him playfully, "I'm not sure if I want to know if you've got that look in your eye." The edges of his lips quirk up, teasing in nature. "It spells nothing but trouble, Scar."

Scar gapes at him, "Trouble?! I can't believe you'd call me trouble!"

"Scar, I say this with all the love in my heart, you live up to the name," Grian replies, moving to drop his head against Scar's shoulder. "I think I have good reason to doubt you."

"Well fine then." Scar moves to cross his arms over his chest. "I guess you don't want to cuddle for warmth with your nice beefy husband."

Grian makes a face, nose scrunching up as he whacks Scar with his wing. "First of all, never call yourself 'beefy' again. That was just... wrong," he demands, earning a fit of giggles from Scar. "Second of all, how dare you assume I don't want to cuddle for warmth with you, Mr. Goodtimes." He goes for a scandalized look, earning a bright grin from Scar.

"Oh well, I don't know, Mr. Goodtimes, I think I should withhold on your cuddles since you said I'm trouble!" Scar huffs in return, trying to look affronted but the act falls apart incredibly easily. His smile is a dead giveaway.

Warmth runs right through Grian at their shared last name, starting at his chest and expanding across his body. His gaze softens before a mischievous look overtakes him and he crawls right into Scar's lap. "You wouldn't."

Scar's arms settle around his waist, pulling him in, "Oh, but I would!" Yet he contradicts himself by pressing Grian against him, sharing his warmth. Grian lets out a soft, content sigh, wrapping Scar in his wings as comfortably as he can. "But maybe not when it's freezing like this."

"Mhm, sure Scar," Grian chuckles, leaving a kiss under his jaw. "You're really warm." He snuggles further into the man, humming contently.

"So are you, lovebird," Scar murmurs softly, laying his head against Grian's. "The warmest I've ever met."

[shugar0cone]

The angels

I was scared, I don’t know why but maybe it’s because of the beyond the point of death. I took a break holding my angelic shot gun pointing at the sky. “Darling they’re not comming yet.” Alastor my husband sat down next to me on top of the hotel. “You don’t know that.” I put my eye to the scope. This riffel represent my custom I had in the living, Alastor special requested it for me to vaggie. Alastor put down the barrel of my gun. “Darling dont freight for we are strong and those angels have no chance.” He smiled down at me. “You don’t know that.” I one again put it to my shoulder waiting. “Darling you know just as well as I do sitting their with your gun pointed at nothing won’t kill the prey, you need to walk breath enjoy it and then you’ll have a better shot.” He was right Alastor took us hunting when we were alive granted it wasn’t civil for your kind, but I wanted to fend for myself. “You’re right.” I put the gun on my back. I looked up at my husband. He still had his smile no fear, nothing was showing but deep down somthing was wrong. “Alastor.” I turned and looked at him. “Hm?” He looked at me in the eyes lovingly. “Im add somthing to my vows and you can’t take it back.” I said. He nodded. “Alastor I don’t know what’s living beyond death but know, I will love you for eternity, it doesn’t matter if I’m alive, dead, double dead or triple. I’ll love you.” I looked up at him his eyes softens. “And if I were to end up double or triple I’ll love you until all existence ends, I’d still love you.” We put our foreheads together. And held each others hands.

“DIE YOU FUCKERS!” I grabbed my pocket dagger and stabbed an exorcist. They were to cocky to un afraid of us, their move where jagged and predictable, one thing about a good murder is that they where unpredictable and organized. I pulled the blade out othe ex’s eye. “HEY ANGEL HOW MANY YOU GOT!” I yelled. Angel and I made it a comption to make us feel better. “36 what about you.” He said gunning down the angels. “Ha I got 46 I’m ahead~” I ran off to kill more until I see Adam and Alastor. Oh no.

“Aww looks like I missed the party.” I say standing with my hands on my hips. “Ah nice to-“ adam attacked Al but he dogged. “See you my love say how’s the weather down there.” He offers you his hand still diving Adams attacks. “Well, but must be some much more entertaining up here.” They got into each others arms and started to do a dance. (Cringy I know but I wanted a dance thing.) Alastors and I swayed through the attacks seamlessly. “FUCK STOP DANCING.” Adam yelled and tried to attack which Alastor dipped me down and I pointed my riffel and missed. “Missed me!” Adam says he grabbed the color or your shirt that was colored in gold and shoved you. “Y/N!” Alastor says. “Oh how you Fucked up now!” His voice became demonic i was in a trance and could not tell what was going on until I heard Alastor without his radio voice. “Shit..” with All my might i sag beside my bloody up husband. You two joked as Adam went on with his speech. “Looks like— looks like we switched places.” I said, I wanted to lighten the mood just like he did when I died in his arms. “We are not done yet my love.” Shadows engulf us as we disappeared.

“Ah, Alastor that fucking hurts.” I say. I were scratched up I mean it ain’t a war without blood right. “Darling stop being a wuss I’m pretty sure those spears hurt worse.” He said drenching his cloth again, Alastor could heal quicker then I can (lucky bastard) “ no what hurt the worst was seeing you almost die” I said. “Just by a hair though.” He said. “No more like the skin of your smile.” I said grabbing my husbands cheek and caressing it. “I love you.” I said in a soft voice. “I love you too.” You two shared a kiss until you bit down on alastors lips. “ALASTOR THAT FUCKING HURT!” I said he put to much pressure on that wound.

AN: YAY AND OMG ONE OF MY FAVE RELESES LIKE CARMILAS SONGS ALWAYS HIT! AHHHH, anyways I hoped y’all like and sorry for the dance bit I know it’s cringy but I wanted a dance thing.

[h00nerz]

bodybag!

masterlist | 1k celebration

pairing: kang taehyun x gn!reader (slight park sunghoon x gn!reader)

genre: angst, fluff, college au, sort of academic rivals to lovers, tsundere!taehyun, jealous!taehyun

word count: 2.2k

warnings: none afaik, just taehyun being possessive

prompt(s): #33 — “i can’t pretend anymore.”, #34 — “you’re all i can think about”, #35 — “i am so very in love with you”, #36 — “it’s you. it’s always been you.” & #37 — “i cannot stand you, and yet, i cannot fathom being away from you.”

requested: “okok i wanna send in a request bcs this kind of drabble has been living in my brain and idk if anyone wrote smth like it before but anyway!! lines 33 through 37 would lowk be so good for a jealoustsundre!taehyun where he acts like he fr despises you, but he like overhears u talking abt going on a lil date he gets so upset and mad 🤭🤭 i lowk got this idea from that one video i dont remember where but taehyun held a drink and was talking to the camera and said like " got this for you but that doesnt mean i like you or anything" HES SO 🙏🙏” — anon

authors note: omg heyyy my first time writing for tyun i am so excited!! enemies 2 lovers again bc… yeah. anyways enjoy~~

SO FAR, YOUR JUNIOR YEAR OF UNIVERSITY was proving to be the worst year of your life. You were finally starting to take classes more specific to your major, which meant things were starting to become a lot more serious. You didn’t have time to work anymore, and even though you had spent the whole summer leading up to the start of the semester working two jobs to have enough money for tuition, you were still barely managing to scrape by. 

Worst of all, though, was Kang Taehyun. 

Kang Taehyun was the bane of your existence. You had first met as freshmen at your university, in the same philosophy course, and you had immediately despised him--or rather, he despised you, and your hatred was just reactionary. It didn’t really matter, though, all that mattered was that he was a menace that made your life ten times harder than it needed to be. 

After that semester, you thought you’d never have to see him again. But, of course, fate had different plans for you. It turned out, Taehyun was pursuing the same major as you, which put you in multiple of the same classes by the time your junior year rolled around. By that point, it had been nearly two years since your last encounter, so you’d hoped he’d grown just a little bit since then. But, of course, he hadn’t.

Kang Taehyun had a vendetta against you that he wasn’t quite ready to let go of. 

Your last class of the day had finally let out, which meant it was time for you to head to the library. The night before, you had stayed up late pulling an all-nighter, and you really were not looking forward to another afternoon filled with studying, but if you wanted to make this deadline, you had no choice. 

With a sigh, you stood up from your seat, and were overcome with dread when you recognized a head of pink hair approaching you. “Not today, Taehyun. I am not in the mood.” You grumbled as you stuffed your laptop into your backpack, purposefully making sure not to even glance in his direction. 

“Yeah, obviously. You have a late night or something? It looked like you could barely stay awake the whole lecture.” He laughed at you, and now you finally looked over at him with narrowed eyes. “Jesus! You look like you just stepped off the set of The Walking Dead!” He exclaimed. 

Horror overcame you, as you realized just how bad your dark circles probably looked. “Shut up! I don’t look that bad!” You snapped at him, zipping your backpack shut so aggressively the zipper nearly broke off. “Even if I did, though, this is the face of someone who’s about to get an A on our midterm paper. So, ha.” 

Taehyun rolled his eyes, trailing after you as you exited the lecture hall. “Please. When I got Kai to review my paper, he said it, and I quote, ‘brought tears to his eyes’. It was that good. And I don’t look half as shitty as you do.” 

He was right. He didn’t look shitty at all. In fact, that was the most infuriating thing about Kang Taehyun. Even though he had shown time and time again that he had an ugly personality, his physical appearance was the opposite. Everything about Taehyun was perfect. His recently dyed hair, that was so fluffy atop his head it was reminiscent of cotton candy. His dark brown eyes that were simultaneously adorable as well as mysterious and inviting. You knew he worked out, he talked about it all the time, and it really showed. You hated him for being such a repulsive human inside of such an attractive body that must have been crafted by the gods themselves. 

“Probably because staring at his laptop screen and trying to decipher whatever bullshit you were spewing dried out his eyes.” You suggested. As you walked, you felt a yawn bubbling in the back of your throat, and as hard as you tried to suppress it, you were unsuccessful. 

“How late did you stay up last night? Really?” Taehyun asked, raising an eyebrow at you. For a brief second, you thought you saw a flash of something different, a flash of something human in his pretty brown eyes… But, you shook your head, positive that you had been imagining it, and sure enough, it disappeared.

“That’s none of your business.” You were quick to snap, quickening your pace in hopes of getting away from him. Instead, though, you ran straight into someone else, and knocked a couple of textbooks they were carrying onto the ground. 

“Oh no! I’m so sorry!” You immediately started apologizing, bending your knees so you could start to pick up the books. When you glanced forward, you felt your cheeks redden as you realized you had bumped into the Park Sunghoon, and the Park Sunghoon was looking at you with wide eyes. 

Park Sunghoon was, like, the star of your campus. He was the captain of the school’s extremely famous ice hockey team, which made him basically a celebrity on your campus. That combined with the fact that he had a face only someone blessed by Aphrodite herself could wield. So, for that perfect face to be just inches from your own right now has your stomach doing somersaults. 

“Oh. Hi, Y/N.” Sunghoon greeted you, and as the two of you finally stood, you blinked at him. 

“You—how—my name?” You stuttered out, staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. 

He furrowed his eyebrows together. “We had a class together last year, remember? You always sat in the row in front of me.” 

You slowly nodded. “Oh. Yeah. I’m surprised you remember that.” 

“How could I forget? You know, I always thought you were really pretty, Y/N.” He smiled at you, revealing his fang-like teeth, and you swore your heart stopped. 

There was loud coughing behind you, and when you glanced over your shoulder you were surprised to see Taehyun was still standing there. He was watching your interaction with Sunghoon with narrowed eyes, like he was contemplating murdering the ice hockey captain. You wondered if they had some kind of rivalry with one another, or maybe he was just irritated by him for the same reason he was irritated by you: just because.

You jerked your head to the side, trying to gesture for him to get out of there, but he stood in his place and looked as though he had no intentions of leaving. 

Deciding to ignore him, you looked back to Sunghoon, and flashed him a shy smile. “Really? You do?” You asked, batting your eyelashes at him. 

He nodded. “Yeah, really. Um, I’ve gotta go, but if you wanna get coffee sometime…” His voice trailed off, as he pulled a marker out of his backpack. You thought your heart was going to literally beat out of your chest when he uncapped the marker and started writing on your wrist. “There’s my number.” He grinned at you, and you watched in awe as he backed up and walked away. 

Once he was out of earshot, you turned around to face Taehyun, a big smirk befalling your lips. “I guess Park Sunghoon is into The Walking Dead!” You announced triumphantly, like you had just beat him in a game of sorts. 

He didn’t react, though, still wearing the same, ticked off expression from earlier. 

“What? What’s your problem?” You furrowed your eyebrows, and suddenly he snatched up the same wrist Sunghoon had just written on. “Hey! What the hell?”

“I need to talk to you.” He said in a low voice. 

“Then let go of me and let’s talk!” You hissed, trying to break free of his grip, but he wouldn’t let go.

He shook his head. “Not here. Follow me.” Unfortunately, he didn’t give you much of a choice, as he started dragging you through the great big hallway of bustling students. Eventually, he found an empty classroom and pulled you inside, shutting the door behind the both of you.

Finally, he let go of you, and you immediately stepped away from him, reaching up to rub your sore wrist. “What the hell was that, Taehyun?!” You demanded, practically spitting in his face. 

“I told you. I need to talk to you.” He repeated himself.

You rolled your eyes. “So then talk! I have places to be, I don’t have time for this!”

“Oh, like coffee with Park Sunghoon?” He spat, his voice laced with venom. 

“Maybe! Doesn’t matter, because who I hang out with is none of your business!” You jabbed a finger, and he once again caught hold of your wrist, holding you in place. 

“Listen to me, Y/N. I’m only going to say this once.” He warned you, and although you wanted so badly to fight him and get out of that stupid classroom, you were also desperate to hear what he had to say. He let out what sounded like a sigh of defeat, and he hung his head loose in front of you. He mumbled something unintelligible, and you raised an eyebrow. 

“What did you say?”

“I said I can’t pretend anymore!” He exclaimed, and the sudden outburst caught you off guard as you took a step back. 

“What do you mean…?” You asked quietly, but there was a small part of you who knew the answer to your own question already. 

He let go of your wrist, reaching up to run a hand through his strawberry colored hair. “You know, Y/N… I can’t stand you. And yet…”

“Yet…?”

“I can’t… I can’t fathom being away from you.” His pretty brown eyes finally gazed up to meet your own, and you realized his face had become almost as pink as his hair. Your own cheeks started to heat up at the sudden confession. “Ever since our first class together, you’re all I can think about. Y/N…”

He took a step closer, and you didn’t know why you didn’t back away. Instead you stood still, allowing him to gently take your hands into his own. “As much as it pains me to admit it… I am so very in love with you.” 

You blinked at him. “Y-You are?” You whispered, and he nodded. Kang Taehyun, the pretty boy who had been tormenting you in your classes, who you swore you hated, was in love with you?! It sounded made up. And yet… It made a lot of things start to make sense. 

“Which is why you can’t go out with some idiot like Park Sunghoon.” He pressed.

You frowned. “He’s not an idiot!” You snapped at him, finally gaining the sense to pull your hands from his. “And--And you can’t just spring this confession onto me! You’re probably just trying to distract me because midterms are happening, and--and you want to be the top of the class!”

He rolled his eyes. “No, Y/N, I don’t--”

“Yeah! And you’re just going to--to pretend you love me, and then get me to realize my own feelings, and then right when I start to fall for you, you’ll rip my heart out of my chest, and--” 

Before you could finish your ramblings, Taehyun was cupping your face and connecting his lips to your own. You let out a soft gasp in surprise, frozen for a moment, because Kang freaking Taehyun was kissing you. This was absolutely not what was supposed to happen! But… Something about it felt so right. It was like your body had a mind of its own as you relaxed under his touch, kissing him back with as much passion as he had offered you. 

He pushed you forward until you stumbled back onto one of the desks set up in the classroom, and you gasped again when his hands slid under your thighs to lift you up onto it. Your fingers laced themselves in his pink hair, which was surprisingly soft for having been recently dyed. He was kissing you hungrily, like you were his first meal in days, and he couldn’t get enough of you. 

He was kissing you like he was in love with you. 

After what felt like an eternity, he was forced to pull away from the kiss to catch his breath, and you found yourself chasing after his lips. He smiled down at you, and you felt his fingers brush against your cheek as he gently tucked a loose strand of your hair away. 

“I’m not lying to you, Y/N. This isn’t some cruel trick to make you fail. It’s you. It’s always been  you.” 

You smiled. “You really mean it?” He nodded. “Hmm… I’m not sure I believe you… I think I’m going to give Sunghoon a call…” You lifted your wrist to look at the numbers, unsurprised to see the ink had smeared after Taehyun dragged you into the room.

The color drained from his face. “What? Are you serious? I confess my love, and--and you’re going to call Sunghoon?!” He stared at you in disbelief. 

You tried your best to keep a poker face, but were unable to fight back the laughter for very long. “I’m joking, idiot! Holy shit, you should have seen your face!” You began to cackle loudly, but Taehyun was quick to shut you up with another kiss. 

Maybe the rest of the year wouldn’t be so bad after all.

permanent tag list: @jakeshands @therealhyunjingf @exohclipse @ttyunz @naveries @mazeinthemoon @luvsoobs @n0-thisispatrick @arizzu @dewyboi @yeonboy

[cheesecakeislazy]

JEFF THE KILLER HEADCANONS BECAUSE FUCK YOU! (Jk I love you and hope your life is great)

1. Him and BeN are besties for life, ride or die, would suck the poison out of each others dicks (not gay though)

2. Jeff has eye drops on him 24/7 so he doesn’t go fucking blind

3. Jeff has anger issues, one moment he’s chill as fuck and then EJ told him something that pisses him off- and now there’s a stab wound in Toby, a hole in the wall, and an angry Slenderman.

4. Jeff is totally straight. He totally thinks boobs are awesome. And totally only boobs. (He’s bisexual and swears on god he’s straight.)

5. He wakes up at 2 pm because he hates being awake in the mornings

6. He’s a metal head. He blasts music from his room so loud you can hear it across the mansion (slender mansion AU)

7. His deep gravely ass voice is perfect for metal songs

8. He likes to paint his nails black, and black only any other color is fucking gay

9. His vocabulary is 90% cuss words

10. He rarely showers. Ironically the gamer showers more often than him. Jeff prefers to be a stinky son of a bitch (take that fangirls)

11. He makes up for it with his dental hygiene (kinda) he brushes them twice a day and they look perfect (mostly)

12. He has extra sharp canines

13. He named his knife “Knifu” aka his knife waifu

14. The knife has been used so much that it constantly reeks of bleach and blood; it has permanent blood stains on it

15. Jeff bites his nails pretty often

16. Jeff isn’t good with throwing knives- he also isn’t that good at stabbing…

17. Jeff literally just stabs and stabs until he thinks his victim is dead, he doesn’t know any major artery’s (did I spell that right?)

18. Jeff is dyslexic

19. Jeff is horrible at math but refuses to admit it

20. Jeff wears eyeliner but refuses to admit it

21. He secretly loves the color pink but refuses to admit it (see a pattern here yet?)

22. Jeff is super sensitive to light due to the fact he doesn’t have any eyelids

23. He wears black gloves because he has burn marks on his hands and hates it when people look at them (fingerless gloves as his fingers aren’t burnt)

24. Jeff really wants tattoos and piercings but can’t get any due to his skin being extremely sensitive and fragile

25. Jeff hates the sun, it hurts his eyes and skin

26. Jeff likes going to playgrounds at night because 1. Fucking swings are awesome and 2. Creepy

27. Fucker is 5’11 and constantly calls BeN a midget

28. Jeff had a small crush on Toby for a while and lowkey has a small crush on BeN but…

29. Jeff is highkey downbad for EJ (it’s one-sided)

30. If Jeff ever tried to cook, he would burn everything

31. Jeff is fucking terrified of fire

32. Sometimes Ben likes to scare Jeff shitless by lighting a small fire inside Bens hands infront of Jeff

33. Sometimes Jeff throws Ben inside a kiddy pool and watches him panic about drowning (he is fully above the water)

34. Despite the fact Jeff and Ben both fuck with each other and their fears, they do it in tame ways to ensure the other doesn’t actually have a panic attack of any kind

35. Jeff lives in sweatpants, jeans are for losers and shorts are gay

36. T-shirts and hoodies, Jeff literally does not own a single sweater, long sleeve, or tank top.

37. His favorite T-shirt says “Fuck me in my ass (but not in a gay way)”

38. His second favorite says “Emo metal loving slut”

39. Both and almost all of his t-shirts are black with either white or red/pink writing

40. It is Jeff’s goal to have every photo taken of him (with permission) to have him flipping off the camera

41. Jeff watches South Park but thinks Family guy is stupid

42. He tries really hard to get on Liu/Sully’s good side but his anger issues usually get in the way

43. Jeff and Nina are actually really good friends that lowkey view each other as family

44. Jeff and Nina love to piss each other off constantly (Ben will prank whoever he is asked to)

45. Jeff has tried to kill Jane quite a few times, and Jane is constantly trying to kill him

46. Jeff personally isn’t into weed but he doesn’t judge BeN for being a stoner lowkey

47. Jeff is a virgin but he wouldn’t be nervous at all about having sex

48. Jeff is a kinky bastard

49. Jeff likes a good bowl of strawberry ice cream

50. Jeff likes banana smoothies

51. Jeff owns a few Nirvana T-shirts

[runawaymun]

Ask me about my not-yet-written-fics from this list

@linesofreturninggeese

Okay, so this is something I was talking over with @metatomatoes because I wanted Celebrimbor to survive so badly but like, I just could not see how it was possible, and then we got to talking and fucking around with Elvish biology and I think I can make it work.

this is all based on the foundation that Elrond and Celebrimbor were very close in the second age, and/or it piggybacks on the To Partake universe. Either way, they have an Osanwe bond. Not quite a marriage bond. It's a bit weaker than that, but a bond nonetheless.

there are human burn victims who have lost a tremendous amount of skin with medical care and survived, right?

and obviously the greatest risks here are blood loss, infection, and hypothermia

It's reasonable to me to assume that elves have pretty good blood clotting.

We also know from canon that they're better at regulating their temp than we are

If elves are pretty much immune to infection, we can knock that out.

With some sketchy research the general consensus is that a human IRL could, after being flayed, last 36 hours, or perhaps up to a week (if given fluids and semi cared for).

Reasonable to me to assume because Sauron is Sauron that he might continue to toy with Celebrimbor post-flaying, which means he has a vested interest in keeping him alive a bit longer.

Also reasonable to assume that elvish bodies can withstand quite a lot, considering Maedhros survived torture and being hung off a mountainside for a really long time while captured by Morgoth.

So, the final kicker here IIRC was @metatomatoes' idea - which is, what if elves are essentially able to drop into a stasis state? Like where everything slowly shuts down to minimal functions in order to survive extreme conditions? Explains a lot of things, really.

With that, what if rather than dying, Celebrimbor drops into stasis.

Stasis is no fun for Sauron :( Celebrimbor's not making fun noises anymore when he gets hurt.

So at this point Sauron has him shot full of arrows (assuming that he'll be dead soon) and hangs him up to taunt Elrond and Gil-Galad, per the canon events.

Everyone at this point is pretty confident that Celebrimbor is dead as a doornail,

EXCEPT ELROND.

Because he can absolutely feel through their Osanwe bond that there's something left there, and post-siege of Eregion when they finally recapture everything and pull Celebrimbor down, everyone is like "Elrond he's dead, we promise he's dead" and Elrond is like "I promise he's not!!!!!!!!! he's in stasis!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And Elrond by now has Vilya, which enhances his already incredibly strong healing.

Also I have already established within my own universe that Elrond is a bit of a necromancer, so long as someone is only mostly dead (re Princess Bride hehe).

SO, he manages to bring Celebrimbor back from the grave.

And granted, Celebrimbor is like, severely fucked up and perhaps does not even want to continue living, but Elrond is determined.

Once Celebrimbor has recovered (it is a long, slow road) he winds up just living with Elrond in Rivendell, possibly under an alias idk. But hey everyone talks about that weirdly good smith in Rivendell. Like uncannily good smith.

I like to imagine that he's the one who reforged Anduril :3