#he'd sacrifice himself with no hesitation but he'd save her without thinking

[lisbonsteresa]

climbing the walls over this

[xurory]

"ME OR THEM?"

would they would sacrifice the world to save you?

pairings. blade, jingliu, gepard ; xiao, scara/wanderer x gn!reader

BLADE would. if it's you, then he'll sacrifice and leave everything behind all for the sake of you. but there's a feeling within him that tells him to sacrifice himself instead. letting everyone live on but at the same time, he still gets to save you. though, if we're talking just you against the world, then he wouldn't hesitate to let the world burn and watch every single being set ablaze with you beside him. you've practically became the remedy for his immortality. and a life without you felt like a curse just by thinking about it. "it's okay, blade." you say as your lover turns to you with a puzzled expression. "what is?" "to choose everyone else over me." he flicks your forehead harshly, making you frown. he was picking you and he wouldn't have it any other way.

JINGLIU would. no traces of hesitation found. her devotion towards you was infinite, and she wasn't about to betray her promise to you. she would choose you over and over again in this lifetime into the next and each one after that. because as long as she had you there with her, she didn't need the presence of anybody else. "you have no idea how much of a hold you have on me." she mutters, voice no louder than a whisper. caressing your under eyes, admiring how peaceful you looked as you slept soundly on her lap.

GEPARD wouldn't. his heart ached at the thought of losing you. he wanted to choose you, be there when you wake up. but as the captain of the silvermane guards who swore to maintain the peace of belobog until the day of his very last breath, he knew he wasn't in the right position to embrace the feeling of you in his arms and watch as the world breaks. "don't cry. please." you plead, wiping the tears that streamed down his cheeks with you thumbs. "i understand. okay?" you keep on saying that, but you had no idea how much he hated himself at that moment. he was basically on his knees begging for your forgiveness even though you already did so. it took everything in him to refrain himself from letting his deepest desires get the best of him.

XIAO wouldn't. you knew, he knew, you both expected his exact answer. and you tried your best to perceive how hard this was for him the same way it was difficult for you. much like blade, if he had the choice to give himself up instead, he would've done it. securing both the safety of his beloved and teyvat itself. his body molding into yours, refusing to let go. refusing to accept that this will be the last time he'd ever be able to hold you again this close. he sobs on your shoulder, staining your clothing. "shhh.. my love, you did the right thing. and i forgive you. i always will." the softness of your voice brought out his side of vulnerability that he will never allow anyone to ever see again other than you.

SCARAMOUCHE would. is that even a question? he was all prepared to leave this one heck of a world behind and be with you for eternity. he couldn't care any less of what he might be considered as. because in the end, he had you. his everlasting love that he shared with you was the one thing that kept him going. "isn't this exaggeration? could've just finished me off.." you whispered, toying with your fingers. your sentence threw him off. "and there i thought you've stopped being so stupid." you gave him a cheeky smile. an expression of yours he was ready to kill for.

likes & reblogs from you kisses from me :3 🍓

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Hanemiya Kazutora top 10 moments!

10. Tries to give Mikey the perfect birthday gift, ok this is so far down on the list because we all know how this ends. But it was a generally nice thought that started all this off, Kazutora just wanted to make Mikey happy.

9. His entrance to bloody Halloween, never a dull moment with Kazutora. He beats up Hansen who is a gang leader in his own right, then insults him and then insults all of toman. It was a pretty bold move.

8. Being so friendly with Takemichi, this was both nice of him and very cute. He was just so excited to meet Takemichi and was a lot nicer compared to Takemichi's first meetings with a bunch of the other guys in opposing gangs.

6. Wants to save Mikey during the bonten future, it just shows even all these years later Kazutora is still thinking about Mikey and wants to help him. Also shoutout to Kazutora for then trying to stop Takemichi when it does start getting too dangerous.

5. Stands up for Junpeke, Junpeke 100% didn't deserve this but good for Kazutora. It perfectly shows how important his friend's are to him and how loyal he is. He was willing to take on a strange violent kid to protect his friend.

5. Saves a woman, Kazutora really just saw a random woman in danger and didn't hesitate to step in. Even if it potentially put himself in danger. Who knows what would've happened to her if Kazutora hadn't stepped in though.

4. Tries to face the black dragons alone to not get his friend's hurt. Poor Kazutora here, he was getting targeted by Junpeke and his friends which then turned into the black dragons targeting him, getting beaten up constantly by them. Though despite all this he never tried to tell the other's since he was worried they would get hurt if they got involved. Once again putting his friend's above himself.

3. Takes down the black dragon part of toman, ok we don't get to see if he actually manages to succeed or not. However he did have a great plan with all the pieces in place and a lot of motivation for it after Chifuyu's sacrifice. I'm sure he would've succeeded in taking them down.

2. Goes to therapy and admits his mistakes. Taking the fall for bloody Halloween must've not been easy and no one even asked him to, instead Kazutora realised on his own that he was at fault and needed to get help as well as own up to what he'd done. You can tell from his future appearances too that he must've really worked hard on himself and changed for the better.

1. Saves Takemichi from Kisaki, I mean without this the whole story just ends, no one gets saved. But thankfully Kazutora manages to swiftly rescue Takemichi from death and even wraps his wound for him even if he does beat him up like a minute later

[pttucker]

"There is no such thing as the perfect regression, just like how there can be no Story without sacrifices. If I regress again this time…" More than likely, he'd lose someone again. The world would sink into yet another tragedy. The world about to be created in order to save Kim Dokja could be destroyed without managing to save anyone, instead. Han Sooyoung replied. "I know that. Also…" She shifted her gaze over to the Complex's entrance and continued on. Since when was it? Several lengthy shadows were drawing closer to them under the cold wintery light. "Those people also know it, too."

Hmmm

This chapter is kinda strange to me, though not in a bad way. Just...not what I'm used to.

I think, in a very meta way, the characters know they're in the "epilogue" and it's a big choice now as to whether they really want to go back to the beginning of the novel or not.

All through the entirety of ORV, whenever Dokja was in danger they rushed to protect him. Dokja was their everything and they would do anything in their power to save him (often from himself). But now they're just kind of standing around discussing which Dokja is "their" Dokja and it's like...it doesn't matter??? If that Dokja in the hospital is "your" Dokja then it's even more important for you to save him!

Like, I think it'd be a very interesting discussion (and plot point) if 49% was up and walking around and each companion had to decide for themself if they wanted to stay with him or if they wanted to go looking for 51%. But he's not up and walking around???? He's literally dying. You have to do something.

Or you have to quietly let him die and continue on without him.

idk they just seem weirdly resistant to me, but not in an out of character sort of way, but rather in a "I'm so very, very tired" sort of way. I think that it's because they are in the epilogue and now that it's finally over, they actually have to make the hard decision of "do I love Kim Dokja enough to do everything again and risk losing the happy ending I have now?" The happy ending Dokja himself wanted? (Granted, Dokja had no idea that his avatar was gonna start fading away...I think...)

I mean, the last line seems to imply that they did decide that they do love him that much but I think the fact that they even hesitated says a lot about how much this story has taken out of them.

[wildegeist]

🌏,🌌, 🎡, 🎁 These are for Arctos and Caregiver! Chose those four specific questions this time as they're both genuinely curious and also would make fun or funny answers I feel. (Also sorry I've sent two asks while you're at work XD)

It's okay since I get to them once I'm home :') Thank you!

... These answers are gonna have so much tonal whiplash.

🌏 Will they give up the world for someone they love? is this decision easy for them?

**There's two ways I can interpret this question. The first way I interpret it is "giving up the world" as in sacrificing things that are important to them. The second interpretation is "would I choose between saving the world and saving this person in a life or death case". I'll do both.

[ARCTOS]

Arctos would do just about anything for those he loves, especially Clara. He'd sacrifice every part of himself for her, and he'd sacrifice and risk a lot for anyone else important to him- without hesitation, because he values other people above himself. If it's a case of the second interpretation, oh boy, that's not an easy answer. He'd probably make the right choice in the end, but he'd have a hard time doing that, and it'd take a lot of convincing. I don't think he'd be able to handle losing her a second time if he did, though.

[CAREGIVER]

Caregiver hates everyone. That means if there happens to be an exception to that rule, yeah, he absolutely would, if we're talking about the second interpretation. He'd slaughter loads of people for someone he cares about and not feel a thing, I mean, he already kind of does that on the regular. Now if it's a case of giving up on things like his home and his dreams, that's a little more special. He'd most likely not do that though and turn on anyone who asked him to

🌌 What was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

[ARCTOS]

Ixirios is heavily inspired by old fairy tales and is themed around the idea of "spacefaring planet that never fully grew out of its renaissance era despite having advanced tech", so I wanted to give it history with some inspiration from classic fantasy, Arthurian legends, and fairy tales. I always thought knights were neat. Old legends and fairy tales also have common themes of "evil shadowy figures", who usually go "evil" after they're faced with hardship or loss, and "tortured fallen heroes who sold their souls to demons"- I see that trope in a lot of fantasy and I'm a sucker for it.

I noticed these characters are rarely really explored though, or even just stay bad guys who meet unfortunate ends with no chance to ever heal, so I went "what if the legends were a little twisted, and missing a bit of context? What if there's more to the story here? What if I focused on that tragic character and their pain? What if I gave that character another chance to be good?" and I put my own spin on it. Really, Arctos and Sableheart as a whole are a love letter to the fairy tales I grew up reading, but with a lot of personalization. :)

[CAREGIVER]

I can't trace any distinct inspiration. To be honest I mostly wanted to see how fucked up of A Guy I could make at first and make it a horror-themed character. Someone scary, but fun to work with and full of morbid humor. I needed to make more villains and the idea I had was something I felt would be refreshing. The bases of his character were that he's a robot (machine-specter/automa-specter), and that he's an "artist" who makes his "art" out of people, and turns them into monstrosities or fucked up home decor. Adding on to that I also wanted to balance it out by giving him a classy vibe, and make his kind of violence more calculated and precise than impulsive or chaotic. His character's grown a lot since then, but these were the starting ideas, and they've remained intact- they just have some extra depth and meaning now.

🎡 Are they someone who wants to kiss at the top of the ferris wheel?

[ARCTOS]

Arctos doesn't trust ferris wheels or theme park rides much, and would probably be too anxious to think of this while on one, if someone miraculously got him to agree to a ride. However, if Clara got the idea first, he'd probably appreciate the distraction. Emotional support kiss to cope with The Terrors (the questionable structural stability of theme park rides)

[CAREGIVER]

I mean... Caregiver canonically never has a love interest and is never going to, but if anyone's enough of a weirdo to actually want to date him, and he somehow likes them enough not to turn them into an "art project", he'd probably be down. But... why would anyone want to make out with Caregiver? Machine-specters are all tentacles, warped flesh, and tongues (lined with sharp-ass teeth by the way) underneath the metal. I think that would kill the average person.

... Nevermind. I forgot there's a demographic for that.

🎁 What types of presents would they be most happy to receive? are they good at gift giving?

[ARCTOS]

Arctos isn't very materialistic, he doesn't expect gifts or really actively want them, but he does appreciate the gesture. He'd mostly like things that are useful to him, books, clothing (since he does actually like fashion), or alcohol! He really likes fine wines and you can't go wrong with a good red. For gift giving, he'd probably go for something he already knows the person wants- so he's not a bad gift giver per se, but if he doesn't know, then he may be a bit more generic and gift them wine, if they're into that. He's also a huge fan of flowers (both giving and receiving), but that's reserved for romantic stuff. It's really more about the gesture than the item to him.

[CAREGIVER]

Caregiver likes receiving "prime, fresh material" for his "art projects". He'd be ecstatic if someone managed to reunite him with some of his "lost/runaway material" (people he was about to mutilate who escaped, or people he personally hates and wants to take apart), and he prefers them "fresh" (alive, he can't work with decaying tissue).

Sometimes he's very thoughtful and even gives his enemies warnings "gifts", made from some of his most fresh material! These are often things handcrafted by him, specially for that person! They always have quite the reaction. Isn't he generous?

[hopefulstarfire]

I wrote this snippet a little while ago and did some editing but ahaha I'm Unwell about these two all the time and this scene has been on replay in my head along with everything surrounding it and what comes after this so um yeah just enjoy. Be warned this is very depressing and Iris is at her wits end so uh yeah.

Iris draws her next card; Cyber Angel Izana. It's the ace in the hole in this match. She could sacrifice her Benten on the field and her Bountiful Artemis in her hand for a ritual summon. She could attack twice, getting rid of the two tokens on Alisters side of the field, while Idaten and Vrash took out the Sky Fortress Ziggurat and what was left of his life points.

She can end this here and now, and save herself.

He'd lose his soul. He wouldn't be able to march down the path she sees ahead of him; the self destruction, the willingness to do whatever it took to take out her brother, simply for his last name and his relation to one of the biggest monsters to the world had ever known. Maybe it would be a mercy to keep him from hurting himself, because it wouldn't give him the vengeance he so desperately wants, because the people he wants it against are gone and she made damned sure of that. It would keep them safe.

Yet she hesitates. Her hand won't move to play the Machine Angel Ritual she has; it trembles but will not budge. Her voice betrays her, catching in her throat and silencing her from calling out her play.

Her gaze locks onto him. The red burning in his silver eyes -- the ones that used to soften just looking at her, even if only for moments alone -- cut her deep in her soul. He stands tall and at his full height, unflinching and unwavering. He crosses his arms over his chest, the scowl never leaving. He's put on his mask -- if it's really a mask, if any part of the man she knew was even real -- and he won't budge.

She thinks of their times together; the hangouts at the bookstore, driving to their spot just outside of town and enjoying the quiet, the weekend get away to the cabin, them, just them. She thinks of the way his hand felt in hers, the warmth of being tangled up in his sheets on a rainy night and refusing to move, how his presence kept her calm, and his snarky attitude always brought a smile to her lips.

He's still the man she loves, even after all this. He's still the father of the baby she loved and lost.

Her heart aches.

The memories of the Big 5 flash through her mind, the determination to stop them and keep them from ever hurting her family again. They all went to great lengths to keep it happen, but the feeling of rage she felt as she bashed the computer to pieces after they escaped Noa's world, or telling the doctors there was no quality of life and to pull the plugs on them after the VR incident doesn't escape her.

She's had enough blood on her hands.

Iris is exhausted.

"Well? Come on," Alister snaps, his voice detached and cold. "We don't have all night, Iris. Make your move."

She can't.

Iris let's out a shaky breath, closing the cards up in her hand. Her gaze doesn't break from his. "I may not be able to save you from yourself, Alister," she says slowly, fighting hard to keep her voice even. "But I won't be the one to destroy you, either."

"What--"

Her hand finally moved and it hits the top of the Duel Disk without hesitation.

"You win."

[the-magnolia-academy]

(@queen--kenobi) Hi yes you're on my OC creator bingo sheet!

How does Vince's pressure manipulation work? Is he able to use it to influence other things that are pressure based, like weather events? Or does he use it more in the physics sense of applying force to something?

Has Vanessa ever caught someone close to her lying to her about something important? What was her reaction? Did she expect it given her glass half-empty nature or did it make her trust issues worse?

Does Fauna have a favorite animal? Do certain animals like her over others? (Also, for funsies, what does she think of movies like Dr. Dolittle?)

Has Casey ever come to close to having to sacrifice himself? Does him being a kind man with a huge heart help him when it comes to being a superhero, or does it hurt him more often than not?

What's the worst thing Bridget has seen? Does she ever wish she never was given healing powers based on what she's seen and dealt with?

Tell me the story of how Elizabeth accidentally hurt one of her siblings. Do you think that repressing her powers makes them stronger since it's associated with more emotional turmoil?

Does this version of Grace still have to deal with Reginald? If so, tell me about their relationship

Does Poppy sometimes regret not joining her siblings with crime fighting? Or is she happy with the choice she made? Also, what kind of lab work does she do?

Does Sonya enjoy holidays like Halloween? Or does she not like those type of days given her powers? Did she ever use her powers to scare others when she was a kid?

Great questions, thank you!!

@queen--kenobi

Vincent's powers work in the literal sense, applying pressure physically

Yes, and that event is the main reason behind Vanessa's trust issues. I can't get into too much detail because it'll be part of the fic itself, sorry!

If Fauna had to pick a favorite animal, like, gun to her head, it'd be her pet bearded dragon, Smaug. She loves Dr. Doolittle and her siblings actually call her that as a cute little nickname

Oh, Casey absolutely has come close to sacrificing himself. His big heart both helps and hurts in his superhero work, if that makes sense? I haven't seen Across the Spider-Verse (yet) sadly, but he'd have a similar "I can save everyone if I just try hard enough" mentality Miles has

I can't get too into detail about said incident because of fic spoilers but Bridget definitely hates her powers some days. She tries to hide it with dark humor but her loved ones know the truth. Part of the reason she became a doctor is because she wanted to help people without using her powers

Another one I can't get too much into because of spoilers, I'm so sorry!

Yes, she does. He'll send letters and show up like "hey what if we joined forces haha jk unless" and every time, Grace doesn't hesitate to say no in the most hardcore way she can. Reginald sends letters? She burns them and sends him the ashes back. He shows up at her door? Oh, Reggie, buddy, she's Texan, she's gonna put a shotgun right in your face

Every so often, Poppy wonders what it'd be like if she joined her siblings in crime fighting. She's happy with what she chose, don't get me wrong, but she wonders "what if" quite a bit. Her lab work is mostly coming up with tech and gadgets!

Sonya loves Halloween, it's her favorite! She feels right at home. As far as the second question, not only did she do that as a kid, but she still does it as an adult, too.

[protect-anthony-edward-stark]

Did they watch the same movies as us..? 🤦‍♀️

First, how can they blame Tony for not picking up the phone? After all that happened in Civil War?

- tony found out that his parents were murdered, and saw them die on video in front of him.

- he found out that his friend in whom he trusted knew about it, didn't tell him, and continued to lie.

- he ended up being betean with such hatred that they almost killed him, when they were already the ones who had just hurt him.

- and they leave him alone there with a dysfunctional armor, physically and psychologically hurt.

Plus, Tony was obviously going to call, (otherwise why would he take the phone with him everywhere he went, even when he was just going for a jog with Pepper?)

He just took a few seconds before calling the man who broke him (and never even apologized) Because yes, feelings exist..

And another thing, when will they understand that Tony signed the Accords to protect people? It was requested by 117 countries. Tony listened to them, and understood them. (he didn't feel above them or above the laws, unlike team cap.)

He did what he had to do, even if he was not really happy about it either, to protect the population from collateral damage.

And how can they compare Tony to Hydra.. If anyone here had anything to do with hydra, I'll just point out that Wanda actually joined them deliberately at one point. (not to mention that she also joined ultron and unleashed the hulk on a city..) And in order to "destroy", when Tony just did everything to "protect."

Finally.. when will they stop blaming his ego?? What ego? All I see is a broken man, who hates himself, blames himself for everything, and always puts others before himself without ever receiving anything in return.

Since I saw a lot of these antis these days.. here is a little reminder that

Tony Stark is absolutly NOT a villain ⬇️

IRON MAN 1: the first thing he notices when he's captured by terrorists is that they have his weapons and the harm they can do with them. And he prefers to be tortured and die than to do what they want. When he return to the US after months of capture, the first thing he does is to announce that he shut down stark industries because it was more important for him than his health. Then he take responsabity for what Stane did, risks his life to save everyone, and says he's rather DIE than not do that. And, he sacrifice himself to prevent Stane from using his suit.

IRON MAN 2: his arc reactor kills him and using the suit accelerates his poisoning but he continues to help people. he's going to die but he thinks of others, he gives his company to pepper, his collections to kids, and organizes the stark expo, to help science one last time. he does everything to keep his armors and prevent it from falling into the wrong hands. and at the end he goes at the expo with a new arc reactor and without a test. not knowing the risk. to get there faster and save everyone.

AVENGERS: he had been rejected from the avengers project but when the shield needs him he comes to help. (and he researches their purpose to make sure he's not helping the wrong people.) + he's the one who doesn't treat banner like a monster when everyone else did. he sacrifices himself again, sending the nuke into the wormhole. and the first thing he does after the battle of NY, is to transform his tower into the Avengers tower (with personalized floors for each of them) to give them a home and a family, and create organizations to protect people.

IRON MAN 3: he saw the aliens and he knows something is going to happen. he sacrifices his health, spending day and night without sleep, making new suits, to protect his loved ones and everyone. when his house exploded he save pepper and tells her to save maya instead of him. he has ptsd, anxiety attacks, nightmares, but never stops fighting, and when the mandarin arrives he goes to stop him. + he doesn't hesitate to remove his arc reactor and suffers to save the kid who bullied harley.

AVENGERS 2: wanda shows him a traumatic vision, his biggest fear, all his fiends dead. he knows that they will not be strong enough alone and wants to stop that from coming true, so he creates ultron/vision. he blame himself and always think he didn't do enough. he says that is the avengers die, he'd rather die with them. he couldn't bear to outlive them, and he sacrifices himself again in sokovia by going under the flying city and blowing it up.

CIVIL WAR: he listens to the 117 countries, he want everyone to be safe and sign the accords to prevent collateral damage. he save wanda bucky steve from jail, offer medical care for bucky and protect wanda from blame. (and he asks vision to stay with her because he knows she likes him). he does everything to avoid the fights and keep everyone together. he's injured, rhodey is paralized, they all betrayed him, but he still goes to help steve. and even after all that he continues to create new things for them, to protect them..

HOMECOMING: the first thing he does after he gets back from siberia, after all the trauma he's been through, is to take peter home. (peter was already spiderman and tony just gave him more protection with a new suit.) he watches over him, protects him, supports him. he asks him to stay away from danger, he takes care of him like his dad never did for him, he made everything he might need in his suit from his own experience, he teaches him to take responsibility. he doesn't want him to go through the same suffering he went through

INFINITY WAR: he did everything to protect everyone, even if they never listen and blamed him. during 6 years he constantly fears an attack, he carries steve's phone everywhere, he made new armors and even implanted a new arc reactor in his skin. he just wanted to live with pepper but when thanos arrives, he goes into space, alone, to face his biggest fear. he face him with his bare hand and he sacrifice himself, begging strange to let him die and not to give the stone for him.

ENDGAME: he's afraid to lose his family and he didn't want to die, but he's still going to help the avengers. even when he finally had a reason to live, when he has a home, a wife, daughter, that he was so close from happiness, he sacrifices all this for a world that doesn't even love him.

tony always did everything for the avengers, he always treated them like family, he made them equipment and took care of them, he did everything to keep them together.. even if they are not there for him, he's always there for them.

he's always full of attention for everyone like making them smoothies after battle, or remembers little details about them. he pays attention to the feelings of everyone and helps and comfort them. he always makes sure that they are okay.

he takes responsability for everything, creates organizations and the iron legion, pays to help repair the damage, gives scholarships, always takes care of people during battle, he evacuates the places, and when there's no time he keeps the danger away by drawing it towards himself.

he's always the one who suffers the most, he has been through the worst traumas but never stop. his priority has always been others. he sacrificed everything, his physical and mental health, his life and his happiness. always ready to risk his life, suffer and die to save everyone.

how can some people be so wrong about him.. how can they hate the man who does everything for his friends, his family.. who sacrifices everything for them and for absolutely everyone..?

this man has the biggest heart and the best soul 💖💖

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 15)

I'm posting this on time! Yay! I'll try to be timely tomorrow as well. Be patient with me if I can't ;-;

This will be the final part of the New Year's Arc. Natsume and his friends reunite and fight to save Aoi. Unfortunately, this fight will take a victim, and for once it's not Natsume.

Chapter Sixty-Six

We see Natsume again, still in a stand-off with Yakumo. Things change, however, when Nobara “wakes up” in a trance. All thoughts of getting Natsume out of the dungeon are gone from her mind now. She’s just another of Persona’s weapons, ready to fulfill her orders without any pesky hesitation or guilt.

And even later, when Mikan rejoins the group, we can see that Natsume is guarding his friends with his alice while Nobara’s rages on. He suggests he and Mikan work together to stop Nobara. He can use his alice to protect them from the ice, and she can use hers to stop Nobara’s alice completely. It’s interesting that Natsume has gotten to such a nonviolent point. He doesn’t even like Nobara, since she’s a teacher’s pet and he doesn’t trust her at all. But he knows she doesn’t mean any ill will and it’s not her fault that she’s attacking them now. He could think first of trying to attack her, but it would be much safer for her if Mikan simply nullified her instead.

He’s come such a long way, from attacking Hotaru and Iinchou so Mikan would spill her alice to now choosing a less violent approach to tackling a person who should be an ally. Now, he won’t be nonviolent in every regard, and there’s little reason he should be, but moments like this are noteworthy. Even more, he’s the one to suggest to Mikan that they work together. They could be a team, like she’d wanted in the Z Arc. They could work together to beat Nobara, and Natsume is willing to admit he won’t be able to do it alone. Ultimately, he’s asking for help, and Natsume never does that.

"Let's do it together," because he can finally ask for help.

But really, for Mikan, it doesn’t take much effort at all. In fact, Mikan uses her nullification to get Nobara entirely out of the trance in no time at all. Nobara runs away, ashamed, and Persona emerges from the woodwork, irritated that he has to do all the work himself.

Mikan breaks Nobara out of it without any help, all on her own. It's foreshadowing for all Mikan will do by herself in the rest of this fight. Natsume wants to work together, but he would never want her to take on everything by herself.

Chapter Sixty-Seven

Persona’s presence has only inspired anger. Natsume attempts to attack him, but he’s no match against Persona when he’s carrying Nobara’s alice stone as protection. Persona then informs Natsume that he’s lost the deal. After all, Rui and Hayate weren’t defeated by him, rather by the people who followed after him. Therefore, Natsume won’t be allowed to leave the dungeon or ever see his sister again.

Despite all his best efforts, he's failed. All these risks he's taken in the past two days have been for nothing, have even caused more of a mess. And if he's stuck in a dungeon, not only will he truly never be able to save Aoi, but he won't be able to see Mikan or Ruka either. It's not like Persona doesn't have the power to do this, either. This is a genuine threat, and if he and his friends lose here, then Natsume will be screwed for good.

Mikan stands up for Natsume, but Persona attacks her, only stopped by one of Ruka’s mice, who quickly demonstrates what happens when someone is caught by Persona’s alice, the touch of death or corrosion alice. Only Natsume (and we, the readers) knew what his alice was prior to this, and it creates a new atmosphere of danger. Getting hit could get you killed. Any misstep could be deadly.

Something interrupts the fight, though. Aoi is shuffling down the hall, gripping the walls since she is blind.

She calls out to Persona, to Mikan, to the very few people she’s had in her life for the past two and a half years.

This is the first time Natsume has seen her in just as long, and he calls out to her. He wasn't supposed to see her. This was a trap, after all, and he'd been told he'd never see her again. To be able to see her despite that is excellent luck (and because of Mikan's help). He nearly can't believe that it's really happening. What follows should be a dramatic and emotional reunion. Sadly, that's not the way it goes.

Natsume failed Aoi so much. Look what he's done. She's blind and has amnesia all because of him.

He approaches, but before he can reach her, she asks nervously who he is. She's blind, so there's no way she'd recognize his face, but she can't place his voice either. It's like a sucker-punch, not being remembered at all by one of the most important people in his life. It's not just that she's blind--that's shocking news too--or that she's been held captive in a dungeon for years. She also can't remember him at all. To make matters even worse, Aoi asks instead for Persona. Natsume is immediately shocked. He’s been putting himself on the line tirelessly for years, and she has forgotten him. It’s just another way in which he’s failed to protect her, since she doesn’t even remember her life anymore. And for his role in her life to be filled instead by Persona is even more cruel.

Persona has been abusing Natsume for years while manipulating Aoi into feeling pity for him. One moment, he seems to treat Aoi with kindness, and the next he goes to Natsume and threatens her safety if he doesn’t obey. It’s enough to make anyone’s blood boil, and Natsume is understandably hurt.

Mikan, who has met Aoi already, tries to remind her that Natsume is her real brother, but Persona is eager to get back to business, so he dispatches Yakumo to immobilize Ruka, Hotaru, and Mikan.

Persona goes right back to manipulating Aoi, lying to her and telling her that Natsume is responsible for her loss of sight and memories. But Natsume doesn’t care about being hated or loved, he only cares about protecting. He stands in front of Aoi and tells her to run. This time, no matter what, he will protect her. He won’t ever let her be hurt again.

Natsume has been blaming himself for what happened to Aoi for years. The job of protecting her was put on his shoulders since he was little. It’s always been his duty to keep her safe, so if she is unsafe, it means he failed. He’s just a little kid. He may have a powerful alice, but he is ultimately powerless. He’s up against government controlled entities and adults with influence. He couldn’t do any more to protect Aoi than he already did, but he’s been living with the guilt of not doing the impossible, because he was told that was his duty. Natsume feels like a failure whenever he can’t properly protect someone because he thinks that’s all he’s good for. He will take the hits for everyone else, will take responsibility for everyone, put himself in the face of danger and death to keep everyone but himself safe.

To be hated or loved or entirely forgotten has nothing to do with his life's mission anyway. Natsume gives unconditionally. He doesn't want anything in return, because it's not an exchange to begin with. The people around him are precious, and their happiness and safety is important. They should have long, pleasant lives. He's just a soldier in comparison. His life was always going to be short anyway, so why shouldn't be dedicate himself entirely to preserving the happiness of others? Protect, protect, protect. Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. It's all he knows. How other people feel about him doesn't change his purpose at all. Whether he does it openly or in secret, he exists only to protect.

Aoi was his biggest failure, in his mind. He won’t allow anything to stop him from protecting her this time, to make up for the time he failed. His determination and promise of protection triggers memories in Aoi. She knew her brother very well, knew all his nuances and quirks. She's the one who first explained to Ruka that he's endlessly selfless, always protecting. If Natsume is anything, he's a martyr. He will make a bold proclamation of protection, or stand in front of somebody to guard them, or take a hit in somebody's stead. She can't help but recognize it, his most outstanding character trait. Nobody in the world is quite like Natsume in this way. She says his name, shocking and distracting him. He hadn’t meant to have her recall him. He was just doing his job as her older brother to protect her. Again, Natsume is resigned to being hated, disliked, and even forgotten, so long as he can do his job of protecting people. Of course it surprises him when it’s exactly that loyalty and protection that reminds Aoi who her most important person is.

Natsume just needed to be as much himself as he could and it triggered Aoi remembering him. If only this sort of thing could work every time.

But Persona isn’t as touched as the rest of them are. Aoi has lost her utility. She remembered Natsume and can no longer be effectively manipulated. Before he can turn his alice on her, though, Mikan saves the Hyuuga siblings. It's Natsume who initially told her in the Z Arc that she has to be vigilant, always watchful, when you're in a dangerous situation after all. If Natsume is distracted, and can't be vigilant, then Mikan will be in his stead. The danger persists, and despite Natsume's readiness to protect his sister, it's Mikan once again who tackles him, nullifying him, but also knocking his alice restraining mask off his face.

Now that Mikan has touched Persona directly without his mask on, she’s certain to die.

Chapter Sixty-Eight

Even Yakumo is put off by Persona’s actions. He obviously never expected to actually be involved in the murder of a little girl. Persona shrugs it off, calling it nothing more than an accident, but that sets Natsume off.

Mikan got in the way to protect him and his sister, and now she will die.

He was willing to work as a team, but he is not willing to watch her completely take on his duty as the resident martyr.

Natsume doesn't like being protected. It's his job, after all. His life is meaningless in comparison to everyone else's. Not only is it destined to be short anyway (so who cares if it ends earlier than later?) but being protected by somebody else means he failed. Somebody is hurt because of him. Natsume is angry at Persona more than anything, but he's also disappointed in himself. Mikan should never have to take an attack for him. She got hit because he was distracted and because he didn't stay vigilant. She's hurt because he didn't do his job correctly.

He goes berserk, his fire alice raging on, despite the barrier. He screams at Persona, but it’s not enough. He hunches over in pain and gasps. Keeping up his alice like this with the barrier is difficult, and even in his anger he can’t keep it up for long.

When Hotaru tries to attack Persona, he moves to get her instead, and Mikan, already struck by his alice, decides to hit him again. Natsume is horrified. He can yell at Persona all he wants, and could even kill him, and it wouldn’t undo the damage Mikan has just now taken for her friends. She’s done for already, but each hit of Persona’s alice has her that much closer to death.

This must feel awful, Natsume. Watching somebody hurt themselves ceaselessly to protect others and not being able to do anything to help. It's a good thing you'd never put anybody in that position, especially after experiencing it for yourself, right? RIGHT?

Mikan bravely declares that she will take all of his hits, to do anything to protect her friends. She tells them to run for it and leave her to face Persona, but Aoi rushes to confront Persona. She still mistakenly thinks there’s a bond between them, that maybe she can get through to him, but he quickly proves her wrong, telling her that he won’t hesitate to use his alice on her as well if she doesn’t move aside.

He’s about to attack her, but Mikan gets in the way, not keen on her sacrifice being for nothing. She protects Aoi, perhaps in Natsume’s stead. In her final sacrifice, she is able to crack his earring, which protects him from “looking like a monster”, and now he looks on the outside the way he does on the inside, entirely corrupted by his own alice.

Now Persona is no longer a threat, as he has run away, but there remains the problem of Mikan, who has been directly hit by his alice and doesn’t stand a chance of surviving.

This whole thing is quite interesting. Natsume is practically useless here. He doesn't protect anybody: not Mikan, not Aoi, not anybody. In fact, he's the one who has to be protected. Mikan did in one day what Natsume has been doing his whole life, and she's paying for it with her life, which is what happens when somebody always chooses the happiness of others over their own.

He's so physically unwell that even his anger and rage can't assist the situation. He can't do anything. Mikan gets hit over and over and over again and all he can do is watch helplessly. You'd think an experience like this would perhaps inspire some understanding in him. Watching somebody die for you is horrible, especially when you feel so powerless as it happens. You cannot stop it from happening. You just watch as they die. But Natsume does not come away from this, thinking about the potential consequences for his martyr complex. Instead, he will do everything he can to make sure nobody ever hurts themselves to protect him again. He will protect everyone even more, to save them from the death that awaits them if they have to protect him.

If they protect him, after all, it's his fault for not being as observant, for not doing a better job. He's the soldier, the martyr. He's the one who should die for others.

Chapter Sixty-Nine

Natsume went into the dungeon, willing to give up his life, fully aware that he might never see his friends again, because it was worthwhile to him as long as he could save his sister. Despite his determination, Natsume couldn’t protect anybody. Mikan protected him, protected Hotaru, protected Aoi. The girl he loves is going to die now, and it’s his fault, because he couldn’t actually protect anybody and in turn had to be protected.

Mikan was also saying very Natsume-esque things, like “it doesn’t matter what happens to me, as long as the people I care about are safe”, and willing to give up her future for the sake of Natsume and Aoi’s futures together. He’d never wanted to be on the receiving end of selflessness. That’s his job. He’s supposed to be the one sacrificing and dying for everyone else.

In this moment, he’s powerless, because for all his talk, Aoi is free because of Mikan, and now Mikan will die, and he can’t do anything about it.

Because of this, when they all rush to Subaru and Sakurano to get Mikan immediate medical help, Natsume speaks up and takes responsibility. He promises to take Aoi and leave the academy so nobody else will suffer because of him anymore. Besides, he won’t be allowed to live normally at the school anymore anyway (he'd be in a dungeon), and it’s best for everyone, in his mind, to have him out of their hair.

His determination crumbles when Mikan wakes up just enough to sadly ask him if he’s really leaving. She looks upset at the thought of him gone, and all his resolve falls apart.

He was supposed to be protecting her and he failed. She had to take it all on because he messed up, and now she's dying. And on top of that, he's hurting her, telling her he's going to leave her. He put her in this situation and now he's just gonna leave? What kind of monster is he?

Well, he was going to but how is he supposed to do it now when you look so sad?

He can't ever leave her.

But the upperclassmen rebuke his plan anyway as unrealistic and unsound. Natsume is physically distressed and Aoi is blind, so escape will not be so easy. Besides, there’s no guarantee that Natsume taking all the blame will mean anything to the ESP, who will simply punish everyone else involved in his stead. His plan was idealistic.

But Ruka brings up a good point: why should Aoi be forced to stay in the academy when she isn’t even an alice anymore? This leads to a better plan: cause a much bigger scandal around the academy than what happened in the Hana Hime den dungeon. They’d force the school’s hand and possibly be able to get out of the situation largely unscathed.

He stands by Aoi's side. He's going to protect her and save her, because he couldn't do it before. More than that, he knows he can't leave. He'll do what he can to prove to Aoi how much she matters because he won't be coming with her and she might not see him for quite some time, if ever again. If Aoi is safe, he can focus more energy on protecting others, especially Mikan, who will need all the protecting she can get now that she's upset the academy higher ups.

For now, what matters is that they start a scandal around Aoi being held captive and abused by the academy for years.

As a result, a riot breaks out, with people either outraged that a non-alice was allowed in their midst for long or because the Hyuuga siblings suffered so much so that Natsume could become a child soldier. Thus the ESP is distracted with trying to suppress that, though he does still blame Mikan for the whole thing.

Chapter Seventy

While Mikan recuperates, strangely saved by her mysterious stealing alice, Natsume has been causing mayhem with his sister. The school is unhappy and there will be serious consequences to come, but at least he won’t be trapped in a dungeon, and Mikan won’t die.

In fact, because this scandal has exposed the truth about Natsume's situation, on the surface, the school will have to put an end to the abuse they put him through. No more beatings. No more missions. It's all about PR, and apparently people don't like seeing that kids are abused by their school. For a moment, it might really seem like things will be looking up for him. Unfortunately, nothing is quite so simple.

It is time to say good-bye to Aoi, because she cannot be forced to stay with all the scandal surrounding her. Many kids are there, which Natsume points out since it was supposed to be a secret send-off.

So many people came because they wanted to meet Aoi and because they have come to the conclusion that because Aoi is leaving, Natsume has no reason to stay either. After all, he only came to the school to keep his sister safe. Now that she won’t be held over his head anymore, why would he stick around?

Yes, he stayed for Mikan and all that, but Natsume is somehow still somewhat surprised that so many other kids in Class B care about him and don't want to see him go.

And then we see a flashback, where Aoi begs Natsume to leave the school with her, even pleading that he doesn’t leave her on her own anymore. But Natsume doesn’t have a choice. Like Sakurano and Subaru said, even if it was feasible for him to leave the school, leaving would only put the rest of them in danger. They would be held responsible for what happened in his stead and they’d be punished for his sake. And Aoi was not the only person being held over his head to begin with. Ruka and Mikan and even Yo-chan are incredibly important to him, and they have also been used as blackmail for Natsume to perform on missions.

And more than anything, Mikan almost died to protect him. He failed and she got hurt, and he can't ever allow something like that to happen again. He will do anything he can to keep her safe going forward, and that will involve a great deal of sacrifice in the future. But he's always been the protector, so he is willing to throw himself into the role of being Mikan's guardian angel. From now on, it's all about her. He simply won't allow himself to fail her again.

He tells Aoi that he can’t leave. His friends are here. But he promises to see her again, when he leaves the academy. Aoi understands, and she’s happy for her brother that he has so many people he cares about who care about him too. She used to be the only one who really understood him, how selfless he was and how many burdens he was carrying. But now he’s properly understood by so many people. She can count on them to look after him.

Natsume grew up with the idea that he has to look after other people. Aoi tells his friends to look after him, letting it be known that Natsume needs to be protected sometimes too, and that he can’t be allowed to sacrifice himself forever.

Then, Natsume is able to see his father again, for the first time since he told the driver to speed up. His dad hugs Aoi, and the gate is closed, but Natsume still goes to hug them both through the gate. The moment is touching, as it’s the first time Natsume has been able to contact his family at all in more than two years, but it’s cut short. He can’t stand by the gate forever, after all.

Listen I tried my best but this picture got me bursting into tears.

This whole moment in time is just like the family visit: too short. It should be enough that we can see Natsume happy, right? He will get everything he wants for one split second, and then he will go right back to suffering, because that's how he was always meant to be. Eternally suffering for the sake of everybody else.

Mikan is then reminded that they all have to be on their best behavior going forward or they’ll risk losing stars, but losing any stars for Mikan would send her right back to being a no-star again. In response to her panic, Ruka tosses his stars. It’s only symbolic. He’s still a triple, of course. But tossing them is supposed to represent solidarity with Mikan, and understanding from Natsume. Those stars symbolized Natsume’s suffering and endless trauma. By throwing them, Ruka is telling him that he understands what Natsume went through for them, and that he’s okay with a no-star status if Natsume is less burdened. After all, Natsume shouldn't be going on missions anymore. If Ruka's star rank is lowered, it's worth it, because Natsume will be safe and happy in exchange.

Ruka is now intent on helping to protect Mikan’s smile, no matter the cost. He then thinks, “You’ve been ready to do that for a long time, haven’t you, Natsume?”

Natsume is very smiley for a kid whose gonna go "volunteer" to suffer endlessly for his friends and the love of his life.

After all, Natsume is staying, more or less, to protect his friends, namely Mikan, who almost died to protect him. He won’t let her give any more up for his sake. That’s his job, and he’ll go back to serving it with no hesitation. His missions are supposed to stop. Coercing him will no longer be about holding Aoi over his head. The school instead will shape it like it's his idea, his choice. He can stop, if he wants, but if he chooses to continue, very good things will happen for his friends.

His suffering in the DA class is about to get a lot worse.

Conclusion

Natsume put his life on the line, risking everything to save Aoi, but in the end Mikan is the one who paid the price. Instead of viewing Mikan's sacrifice as affectionate or touching, he's angry with himself for having put her in the situation to begin with. He will never allow her to be in danger again. No matter what happens, he will be there to protect her. It has just become his life's mission. Though Aoi is safe and his missions and abuse under the school should end, they have really only just begun.

Like I was saying, Natsume doesn't do very much at the end of this arc, which is kind of the point, but it also leaves some chapters' analysis somewhat threadbare. I apologize for that.

Going forward, we'll see that Natsume has a new attitude. The illusion of choice regarding the abuse he faces from the school has given him some semblance of peace, because he's content with his duty of protecting Mikan. Every smile from her means he's doing his job right.

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[ezpezlemonsquez]

Okay, so I've heard about that theory in which princess Yue was to be the Avatar but since Aang hadn't died but just had frozen himself, the cycle was somehow broken and that's why Yue was born so weak and had to be saved by the Moon Spirit. This actually gave me a fanfiction idea, so

in this concept Yue is Sokka and Suki's child, as Lu Ten is Mai and Zuko's. They spend a bit of their vacation at their houses in the Upper Ring of Ba Sing Se. Everything is peaceful. Everything is fine.

***

Lu Ten was screaming. He didn't have any control over his body, needless to say, his mind. He just wanted it to be over. Suddenly, he felt a gentle tug on his shoulder and he shuddered. Then he felt the second tug, a little bit more intense than the previous one.

"Lu" said someone with a really soft voice. "Lu, wake up."

So Lu Ten screamed for the last time and this time he immediately woke up and sat up on his bed. He was panting heavily, the sweat dripping off his body. At first he couldn't see anything. Only after a few breaths was his vision slowly getting better.

"Everything's alright, Lu." The same voice rang out again, finally letting Lu Ten fully get back to reality. It was kind of like his anchor and though he had sometimes heard it in his dreams, it had never been so clear before. Lu Ten blinked and he realised why this time it was different.

"Yue" he whispered and lied down again, utterly exhausted, as he saw his beautiful friend right in front of him. Her dark brown hair tickled his face when she leaned towards him to make sure he's awake. For real now. Lu Ten took one last deep breath and got up from the bed. He walked to the table and drank some water he'd prepared himself in a cup. The rest of it he spilled on his head. Yue came up to him and gently touched his shoulder.

"Everything alright?" she asked caringly. He nodded.

"Yeah" he answered, not being completely sure if he reassured her, or himself. "Yeah, everything's fine, it was just, uhm..."

Yue raised her eyebrow.

"A nightmare?"

"No, no, I don't have nightmares, no." He forced a laugh.

"Right" snorted Yue. "You know, you may be one really powerful firebender but that doesn't make you any truthbender."

"You say so?"

"I literally heard you screaming, Lu Ten. I woke you up."

The boy shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe you needed something?" he suggested and he suddenly realised something. "Wait a second, why were you even here?"

Yue seemed a bit confused for a moment.

"Uhm, I heard your scream" she answered finally, trying to be convincing. "I walked in to make sure you're not in any trouble. As always."

"Very funny, Yu. You were saying something about being a truthbender...?" he said, as if he was wondering.

"Excuse me, I'm the daughter of Sokka and Suki, I was basically born with the power of truthbending. Gotta have a talent, you know?" she said jokingly, throwing her hair behind her back.

"Yeah, of course. Come on, Yue, what were you doing outside this late?" He nudged her teasingly. "Perhaps a date or something? You know, holiday fling?" He insinuated, while feeling a bit of jealousy that she actually might have confirmed.

"I wish." She winced. "I... I was, uhm, kind of having nightmares myself" she admitted finally. "I woke up and I decided to take a walk. Moon soothes me."

Lu Ten's face changed immediately.

"Yue, I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine, really. Now come, you want to take a walk with me?" She held out the hand to him. He smiled.

"Sure. Let me just put on some shirt."

She nodded. After a while, they were walking by calm, peaceful streets of the Upper Ring of Ba Sing Se. Neither of them was saying anything, they just walked silently, hand in hand, being happy of each other's presence. They stopped at the fountain. It was a clear, warm night, so they took off their shoes and sat down, letting their feet dip into water. They were sitting silently until Lu Ten spoke up.

"It's a beautiful moon."

Yue smiled.

"Yeah, it really is. You know, my dad used to tell me the history of a girl from the Northern Water Tribe. She was a princess, actually. She was beautiful, and kind, and very brave, because when the time came, she was ready to sacrifice her life to become the Moon Spirit. I was named Yue after her."

"Did your parents know her?"

"My dad, yeah. They seemed to have been pretty close, you should've heard how he talked about her."

"Yeah, listen, from what I've been told, you should've seen my granduncle's face when my parents told him I was gonna be named after his son. Apparently, he cried so much. My father told not once that it was the least he could do for him for... well, everything."

"General Iroh was more like a father to your dad than Ozai, wasn't he?"

"He was." Lu Ten nodded. "He still is."

Yue looked up at the moon, thinking.

"You want to tell me about this nightmare that's bothering you?" asked Lu Ten softly. Yue sighed.

"This dream it... It comes back to me every full moon. But please, don't laugh, okay?" She looked at him pleadingly, with a weak smile.

"I won't, I promise."

"Okay, so, in this dream... I am about to become the Avatar. I can feel it's a great power, so I'm preparing myself to take it in. I'm waiting and waiting and it exhausts me but I reassure myself that once I take in the Avatar's powers, all my strengths will come back to me three times as great. And suddenly, something happens. Light blinds me, but no new strengths came. Instead, I'm just getting weaker and weaker. I don't know what's happening, but I can barely breathe. It's like, the circle has been broken and I don't know what to do. I try to scream but I can't even open my mouth. It's... it's horrifying." Tears appeared in Yue's eyes. She lowered her voice to whisper and she just looked at her hands. "I'm dying" she said barely audibly. Lu Ten didn't say anything. He took her hand and gently stroked it. He wanted to remind her she didn't have to be scared, because he was there. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to her.

"Anyway" she said after a while, when she managed to collect herself. "That's when I wake up." She looked at him with a sour smile. "Every time. No sooner, no later. I don't know what it means, so."

"Have you told about it anyone?" he asked, moving closer to her. She laughed quietly.

"No, absolutely not. And I forbid you to."

"Okay, no worries, just... I want to help you."

"I know, but please, don't tell anyone. I'll manage. So, you wanna share your dream now?" she asked immediately, trying to escape from the uncomfortable subject. Lu Ten let go of Yue's hand and smiled sourly.

"My dream is strictly connected with this city" he started. "I'm in Ba Sing Se but this isn't, you know, our Ba Sing Se. I'm in the Fire Nation's Army uniform. I have my own unit under command. It isn't big but I feel like it's great anyway. I know I trust these people. And suddenly, we begin to fight. At first, we win. We're going further and further into the town and I feel I'm on a tear, so I don't stop. Somebody's shouting my name but I ignore it. I run and I fight. I shout I don't need any more people, I'm calling off the reinforcements. Everything's great. But then I'm trapped. Earthbenders, more than I can possibly take, surround me. It's just me, my whole unit has suddenly disappeared. I try to fight them but I can't hold off them all. Nevertheless, I don't call for help. I just... try to take down these people. They're an obstacle. Someone shoots me, so I scream. I feel warmth of my blood. My vision blurs. I give more shots, and I get the same amount at me. Finally, I collapse. In my head there's just granduncle's song. It bores into my mind, I can't think of anything else, I can't hear anything but this song. It's more powerful than any thought, any sound I try to focus on. It hurts more than my wounds. So I scream. And I scream again and again, until I can't scream anymore." He looked at Yue seriously. "I'm dying, too" he whispered. Yue didn't say anything. She just moved closer and hugged him. He hugged her even tighter. The tears started to fall down their cheeks. They were both crying, because that felt like the only right thing to do.

"Don't tell anyone" whispered Lu Ten after a while.

"I won't" promised Yue.

They sat there, hugging each other, for a long time. They barely moved. Then Lu Ten cleared his throat and slightly moved away.

"We should go back home."

Yue nodded, sniffling.

"Yeah. Yeah, we should."

"I bet granduncle Iroh could make us some soothing tea, if you'd like."

"I would love to, but tomorrow, okay? We'll go to The Jasmine Dragon."

"Okay. Come on, I'll walk you." He held out his hand. Yue took it without hesitation.

"Thanks" she said quietly, smiling weakly. They didn't talk on their way back home. They really didn't feel like it. When they arrived at Yue's home, she hesitated.

"What is it?" asked Lu Ten.

"Actually... uhm..." She looked at him awkwardly, then she shook her head. "You know what, never mind."

"No, tell me, what's wrong?"

"I was gonna ask you, since I won't be getting much sleep tonight, if you wanted to keep me company" she admitted, smiling. "But then I figured you'd probably want to catch even a few hours of sleep."

"Actually, no, not at all. And I'd rather sit silently with you than alone, so." He smiled. "I would love to keep you company."

She looked at him gratefully and open the door. They sat on the carpet, near each other, trying not to fall asleep. But after a while they didn't even realise they did. They were sitting, leaning back against the wall, Yue's head resting on Lu Ten's shoulder and his head resting on hers. And when they were together, no more nightmares bothered either of them that night.

[snktoughts]

Armin's a good character but his martyr complex frustrates me to no end. When he'd been bullied as a kid, he wouldn't retaliate because getting hurt proves he's right all along. The current arc shows this complex again but on a larger scale and with bigger stakes. He's passive to prove that he's "better" than what the rest of the world believes. Well, what good would that do when they kill him anyway and continue spreading lies about him? It's impossible to disprove or correct liars after death.

(I had to trim down and rewrite so much of it, because I go on and on, sorry)

I think you’ve summed up what Armin’s personal issues are. I did want to address the worldview he demonstrated when Annie asked him if he would die if someone ordered him to. His answer that he would if he deemed the result to be good was pretty telling. ‘Martyr complex’, indeed.

It was also foreshadowing his own ‘demise’ against Bertholdt, I believe, but multiple times, Armin showed he was ready to die for his mission.

There are signs back to his childhood. I think Armin has always been majorly bothered by his lack of physical strength. Because he was weak, he could not fight back against the bullies. His only options were to admit defeat, running away, or taking the beating without conceding anything. And because he needed to prove at least his inner strength, he could never run or admit defeat. So taking the beating head on was his way to cope and prove to himself that he was ‘victorious’.

But this attitude became a liability when he started having friends to defend him and take the beating for him. Armin was good at seeing Eren’s undying will and Mikasa’s skills as their strength, and it made him see his own overall weakness even more.

And then, Eren ‘died’ for him, cementing his own worthlessness, and increasing his martyr complex. And while Mikasa and Eren’s trust in his intellect somewhat countered the worst of it... 

...in other times, he’s been praised when he demonstrated his own sacrificial tendencies by others, so this attitude was nurtured in spite of his friends.

His valued intellect probably helped him having more faith in himself, but it also meant its limitation became Armin’s. What I mean is that once Armin’s smart approach stopped working (like with Bertholdt), Armin lost faith in himself again, and became unable for decide anything after this. And what followed was his sacrifice against Bertholdt.

What I wonder is how much impact the whole Serum fiasco had on Armin. For one, Armin (as far as we’ve seen) doesn’t remember his own sacrifice, since he was titantized, so he never learned from it. And then, he’s been told by everyone (aside from Eren and the squad) that him being picked instead of Erwin was seen as the worst choice. Armin was ordered to not make his friends regret that choice, so he had reasons to not give up, but this is still a pretty hard situation to cope with.

With the Colossal Titan within him, Armin became too important for him to self-sacrifice anymore. This means Armin probably feels even more like he has to follow the orders of his superiors for his nation.

More importantly, him not remembering his victory against Bertholdt, but him remembering his failure at defeating Bertholdt using his intellectual strength may have had an impact in him not trusting his own ability anymore, just like how he became at a loss before his last stand against Bertholdt. And perhaps this contributed to his ‘regression’ regardless of Bertholdt’s memories influencing him. As in, he stopped using his intellect to devise plans and is now just relying on others.

I think it’s something Eren resents Armin for post-timeskip. Eren trusted Armin even when he tried crazy things Eren did not understand, like talking to the enemy. But in those four years, Armin has stopped relying on himself to come up with plans. And he has stopped coming up with ideas that would potentially make him a ‘worst person’, types of plans Erwin would come up. 

Which brings another defining point with Armin: Armin values strength, yes, but he values it when it’s for what he deems is a good cause. Armin is like most everyone else. He wants to do ‘good’. To be of service to others, be it his friends or humanity. It’s funny, because in spite of acknowledging to Annie that a ‘good person’ is a relative term, and in spite of admiring Erwin for being ready to become a monster to achieve victory, I think Armin is fundamentally unable to cope becoming someone like Erwin.

It’s not for a lack of trying either. Armin tried to give up what was most precious to him (his sense of ethic) when confronted with Bertholdt for the first time, by using Annie’s captivity against Bertholdt. Yet, Bertholdt calling them ‘children of the devil’ impacted Armin enough to bring it up again in their next interaction. And when he shot a woman that would have killed Jean, which was the most sensible solution at the time, Armin could not stop himself from thinking the woman was the better person because she hesitated.

At his heart, Armin wants to be a good person. He wants to be a good person, and be seen as a good person. It’s why he concerns himself the most with what the world thinks of Eldians. It’s why he empathizes so much with others. It’s why the woman he killed being a potentially better person than him bothers him, and it’s why I think he really wanted to talk with Bertholdt that one time. Armin knows ‘what needs to be done’ in an Erwin’s way, but he’s not able to shoulder the burden for it. It’s a very human response a lot of people struggle with.

It’s I think what makes him want to befriend Marleyans, and it’s what makes him a liability in Eren’s eyes. Armin’s sense of ethic is too dependent on other people. Just like when he was little against the bullies, he has to ‘prove himself to others’. He’s not following what he told Annie about a ‘good person not being good for everyone’ (he told her this to make her go along with his plan, to be fair, so it’s not like he necessarily believed it even at the time).

In a way, I can see Armin’s moral struggle being a parallel to the nation of Eldia itself. Like Armin, Eldia has been a constant underdog in their fight against the world itself. Yet Eldia recently gained the potential to use an incredible weapon with the Rumbling. Just as Armin became incredibly powerful by gaining the Colossal titan. Yet, neither Armin, nor Eldia are ready to use their massively destructive powers against their enemies. Mostly for ethical reasons. And the choice of sacrificing Historia also kind of parallels Armin’s own tendencies to martyrize himself.

I didn’t understand at first why Armin was crying when Yelena talked about the sterilization plan. But I think it may actually have been relief that he could finally understand something about Eren again. Because he still knows Eren enough to be certain that Eren will never partake in a plan which goes against his core principle.

He’s smart enough to realize that 1) Eren knows he’s the one who would be in control if he and Zeke touch (or so they assume at the time), so it makes sense for Eren to go along until he can come in contact, and 2) he’s also smart enough to realize that Yelena and her group would be more dangerous if Eren hadn’t pretended to go along, meaning Eren had to comply with her and Zeke’s plan for the sake of the island’s future.

I can see many flaws in Armin, but I can also see things to admire. Wishing for a peaceful resolution is in itself noble, and the world needs people like Armin to go past people’s differences/grudges in order to secure a better future for those to come.

Eren argued that Armin would be the one needed to save the world, and in a sense, I can still agree. Not in a ‘battle hero’ sense. Not as a hollow figure like ‘Helos’ for Marley. But more as a figure to follow in the aftermath of the war. To help secure a true peace and actual friendlier bonds in between nations. If Armin saves the world, maybe it will be with his words, should he ever find his confidence back.