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shadesofmauve · 2 years

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Things my physical therapists have said

Today, after testing multiple exercises to try to find ones that don't make my elbows Do the Thing, the hand specialist finally asked "Are you sure you really need your elbows?"

I'm going to save that one next to the time the physical therapist who was checking leg range of motion asked, exasperated, "Do you even HAVE hips?" Then he gestured vaguely at my hip area and said "Most people's legs attach somewhere in there!"

#I am not like most people #it all just kinda floats around #held in by my pants #a naked Shades is actually a torso and 4 separate limbs #yup #definitely that #(that is not true)#(A naked Shades is a happy Shades)#(unless it's even mildly cold then aaaaaaarrgh)#my body is a factory reject #bargain-bin body #I appreciate it though!#I like delicious food and playing my fiddle and cycling #but the quality control was not good

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tsuchinokoroyale · 9 months

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Happy new years… let’s stay hydrated together ✨

#I didn’t end up going to the rave just stayed in with my buddies and had KFC (( Korean fried chicken )) and laughed til we cried so #it was still a wonderful start to the new year 💞🥰💞#but the fwb wanted pics of my potential rave look so I figured eh I brought the stuff anyways #and now I’m imagining locking eyes with a stranger on the warm and writhing dance floor #the beat thumps and shakes and rattles the air in our breath as the spotlights dance in the reflections of our held gaze #he pushes his way through the crowd with a singular stare and a wicked smile on his face #I smile and turn my back on him arching myself so he knows I am giving what he’s looking for #I take careful steps through the revelry toward the edge where the crowd thins out #I prop myself up on an available stool in a lonely corner of the club as he closes the distance between us #“now I wonder why you dragged me all the way here” he utters in a playful growl “trying to get far away from the crowd?”#I smile and I nod. “obviously. can’t really do what I want with you out there”#his eyes perk up and his smile gives away the desire building inside him. “yeah? why don’t you show me then.”#“I thought you’d never ask” I smirk. I reach down into my pants and pull out my phone #“so this one is blue. he’s the oldest but he’s sooooo sweet. and that’s Eva. my only girl she’s sassy but she loves swea-” he leaves #whaddahell I say demurely whimpering even… whaddahell…#gpoy

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justaz · 4 months

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semi-dark king merlin au, someone from ealdor tells king cenred about merlin and he is captured and held as a slave in essetir. since merlin despises captivity and servitude, he’d rather be dead and free than alive and in chains so he acts out and pisses people (especially the king) off so they’ll think him too much trouble and kill him. at first they stick to beatings until merlin manages to get his chains around a few necks and now has a body count so they kill him…..only he wakes back up a few hours later and king cenred is Intrigued and keeps him close. merlin keeps acting out but no matter how many times they kill him, he won’t stay dead. merlin has this moment after waking up perfectly fine after his twenty seventh death where he is hopeless and believes there to be no escape, not even thru death. a few other sorcerers in chains come and help him clean up and give him a lil peptalk, realizing him to be emrys, and then they revolt and take over the kingdom and crown merlin as king and now uther is like “wtf” bc his neighboring kingdom who was kinda sorta on his wavelength about sorcery, though uther did not approve of keeping them alive, is now a kingdom ruled by magic. he goes to war with them but with magic running free and fucking emrys on the throne, they don’t make a lot of headway. anyways merthur meet on the battlefield, enemies to lovers, you get it

#bbc merlin #merlin emrys #king merlin #arthur pendragon #merthur #fanfic #fanfiction #fic idea #writing prompt #king merlin of essetir #the angst is crazy #merthur despising each other bc to arthur merlin is an evil sorcerer while to merlin arthur is just like his father who is just like cenred #slowly learning more about each other and seeing their kindness #slowly earning respect between the other #lmao those silly episodes where the hero and the villain come to a truce to fight a common enemy and then go right back to fighting after #morganas ‘betrayal’ to camelot is just joining essetir’s side #she learns to control her magic and finds people like her #uhhh #druids flock to essetir while the antimagic people of essetir flee to camelot #essetir kinda just becomes a magic kingdom lmao #THEY SNEAK INTO CAMELOT AND SET THE DRAGON FREE SO ESSETIR JUST HAS A FUCKING DRAGON #camelot is shitting their pants #when arthur becomes king hes just like ‘we gotta sign a treaty atp theres no way were winning #and i refuse to send more of my men to their deaths’#tense political situation where theyre signing a treaty - one wrong move and everything goes to shit #now that the kingdoms can live in relative peace arthur can see the good magic can do for a kingdom as essetir thrives #since theyre on sorta good terms there can be feasts held w merlin in camelot or arthur is essetir #slowburn babey

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jasperyourmutt · 16 days

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Plllllleasssse please please rub my tummy :(((( look at me I’m soooooo so cute…… whimpering I’m just a lil doggy n no one has pet me you wanna pet me soooooo bad

#huffing and rolling around on my back #intently staring at you. wagging and staring until you pet me #happy panting when you do pet me #I’m so cute how can you not pet me. it’s illegal to not pet me #starved for attention for today #I’ve just been so busy and working so much lately just want!!!!! to be held please!!!!!!!#jasperbarks #ftm puppy #t4t puppy #puppy sub #woof

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princesspottypantss · 2 months

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i had an accident :(((

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brain-rot-hour · 7 months

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😘

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pearlcatcher-problems · 5 months

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super sketchy but I'm thinking........

#need an outer wilds fandragon in my life and antler is the best for it #semi-fandragon since inspo from the lore / aesthetic but not paralleled #how do they wear pants? you ask? carefully. very carefully #aka they likely tether onto some hip scales with loops and are mostly held in place by the legs / a tie that goes around the entire waist

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suitetarts · 9 months

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klagga's notes and love letters for minthara under the waterfall at the goblin camp always make me feel a certain way

gonna buy a footstool for when they're kissin 🥺

putting dead spiders in his hair to impress her 🥺

writing her a love letter with a mushroom bouquet 🥺

#the way klagga describes himself is so endearing and the effort he puts in for minthara is sweet ugh lmao #also that he's is making fun of the poetry by the dwarf whose pants he stole when this mfing goblin is writing love letters to a drow #you just know that minthara held nothing back when she shattered his hopes and dreams (and prob some bones)#bg3 #ps look at me one of my honour runs finally made it to the goblin camp

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strawberrymotion · 16 days

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Very chuffed with my new lesbian belt!

#lesbian #I got a belt #now my pants are being held up by the power of wlw

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queen-scribbles · 1 year

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Willpower? Don't know 'er not when it comes to the Sith Son

#queen in space #tragen xo'ric #swtor #i held out for two whole days!!!#but LOOK AT HIM #i did sub in the pit boss pants + force apprentice boots #bc they work better with his physique #ft. a couple peeks at my half-decorated manaan sh xD #me? playing favorites? noooooooooo #i say as i shell out twice the cc's i've ever spent on armor for this bastard

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drdemonprince · 1 year

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Looking at people responding to that video of a high school circa 2002 and realizing that a lot of my demeanor and general outlook has been informed by the fact that id found a solid niche that kept people from fucking with me by the time that i was in early high school. already by then i had slid comfortably into the identity of "smart snarky person who keeps to himself but will deliver a withering take-down the moment you ask him his opinion on anything" that both classmates and teachers found enjoyable to be around. i cant really say it was masking. it was more like an optimized build capitalizing on the attributes that were already there. but also, my high school was just not a place where all that much bullying happened? it was middle school were i saw and personally experienced a whole hell of a lot more of that. to the degree that i thought movies and tv shows depicting bullying as a high school thing was like, fake

#like people would fight but it was nearly always an interpersonal conflict like two girls having mutual beef with one another #there was way worse bullying and violence in middle school and more cliquishness then too #by high school things had considerably smoothed out #not completely of course i remember one straight guy getting hate crimed for wearing “Girl Pants” and things of that nature #and there were fights between different student groups / contingents but like #the kind of thing you see on high schools on TV just wasnt there it just was not the vibe for some reason #even as the hugely annoying openly queer kid talking about queer politics all the time things were like pretty chill #even tho of course many of my peers believed absolute dogshit things we would just like... talk about it. like genuine conversations.#their points were bigoted dogshit but it was like #sincerely held? and not aggressive? idk it was weird #wish i could explain why it was that way but i cant

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yellobb · 2 months

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*forces myself to drive to therapy even though I don’t want to exist rn*

Therapy: is tomorrow

#m rambles #I’m so…..#like fr?#I actually made it but my days got mixed up?#there’s no guarantee at all that I make it tomorrow and I’m feeling supremely shitty right now #I barely even made it in #it’s 80 degrees outside and I’m wearing my pjs which consists of a sweatshirt and fuzzy pants #part of what held me back from driving into work today was the fact that I’d have to leave early for therapy #I’m so upset with myself right now

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beeapocalypse · 1 year

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hey what do you mean pocketcat had daans soul

#walked up the museum and pocketcat comes out w a wheelchair. says olivia got lonely and wanted to join the party. went in and fought the--#--mechanical dance. map still said there was a contestant in there so i tracked down pocketcat. hey man why do you have daans checkered--#--pants. kill him and get the blank soul. loot him and get daans loot. okay ??????#like pocketcat is an entirely separate entity right. rhers light affects only the people themselves stripping their humanity away and--#--supposedly revealing their true nature but i bought fuckin skin bibles from pocketcat AS daan. is this some sort of possession situation-#--did pocketcat somehow take daans body. WHY did he do that if so #daans blank soul and the whole idea there of him following the lead of authority does lend credence to that idea. a total imposition of--#--pocketcats essence on daans body (while hes got daans pants + loot he says the same exact lines as he did b4 night3) or something #then theres the whole angle where pocketcat is a creep and there is NO way daan does not have issues around sex after getting raised in--#--the cult of sylvain. head in my hands #also pocketcats fight when alone is a BITCH. dont have the salmonsnake rune so i only get a few free turns w the armguards--#--b4 he insists i choose smth else / goes after black kalev instead. i am keeping this stupid goat alive the entire game this time around #small aside. rlly interesting implication that olivia held out against the moonscorching long enough that it took direct interference--#--from pocketcat to turn. does that always happen or is it bc i didnt find a wheelchair for her + thus she spent most of her time in the--#--protected train cabin ?