#my body is a factory reject

[shadesofmauve]

Just graphic designer with chronic health issues things

OT: "Hold your arms in a Y. No, your Y needs to be narrower."

Me: "What font am I?"

OT: "...what?"

Me: "I need to know what font I'm copying to do my Y right!"

[circeyoru]

Gone Too Young _ Part 4 = Collab

[Human & Demon!Alastor x Male BFF!Reader] - Platonic

Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 (here)

My collaborator: @blubugg13

As the two of you got older, you had more jobs on your agenda and Alastor was busy with his internship at the local news stations so he could get a feel of being a news reporter, later a radio host, just as you suggested

You knew him well, turns out he does like the thought of being a radio host, he had the idea of you being his co-host or a guest from time to time, even an assistant! That way, your job is stable enough and he would be able to help you finanically whenever you needed without you complaining like you do now

His mother had the better idea. Adoption. While you were off the list, surely you’d make an exception when it was his mother was wanted to do it. He could see as clear day that you had a soft spot for his mother. Hard to reject motherly love, he’ll agree. It was your Christmas gift, you’ll have a family

You never showed up to the secret meet up you two arranged. Alastor waited under the freezing cold, the streets were a buzz, he watched families go up and down. Perhaps you were working a bit later, you did say you might not be able to make it and apologized beforehand. He waited a bit longer. You still didn’t show up. He had to return home

He didn’t know, the ambulance that he passedby carried your deceased body

Christmas day came by, you weren’t there. The orphanage cancelled the adoption plan his mother registered. Before they agreed! They said it would be the perfect surprise even! Everyone was in on it but you

Something in his gut told him, something’s wrong. He ran to the orphanage and asked for you, maybe you were sick and couldn’t tell him. Yeah. When he got there, he wasn’t allowed entry, the director came to the door personally to inform him you leave town for an internship, some wealthy businessman offered you that and you took it and left

“When will he be back?” Alastor recalled asking.

Yet there was no solid answer.

“A few days, I’m sure.” Your sister figure answered without looking at him. He caught her outside while shopping.

“I think like a month. Not sure.” Your coworker shrugged.

“He’s sleeping though.” One of the little ones you take care of spoke when he sneaked into the orphanage to see you.

“Maybe never, you never know.” One of your employer said.

“Stop asking for him! Mind your own business!” The director stopped him in his tracks.

But you were his business. He was your best friend and you were his. Why can’t he know where you went and when you’ll be back? Why does it feel like everyone but his mother and he know something about you?

Then he caught it while listening in on some workers chat while taking a break outside the last factory your worked at. The horrifying truth of your disappearance

“That kid Alastor’s back?”

“Yeah, he’s asking about him again.”

A sigh. “Can’t we just tell him what happened? It was an accident.”

“Are you crazy?! Who would want to know their friend ended up like that?!”

“Besides, the orphanage director already said to keep quiet about it.”

“I mean, it’s brutal.”

“I’ll say. Getting your arm rolled into the machine like a piece of meat, then die from blood loss.”

“I still get nightmares from that day.”

“Christmas day horror. It was even worse for that guy that accidentally bumped into him, right?”

“Yeah, Joe quit his job and just disappeared.”

“But I heard he was a roadkill somewhere.”

“Wow, that’s like karma.”

“Crazy sh*t happens everywhere…”

Alastor never ran that fast in his life. His smile fell and tears rained, the weather seemed to echo with the truth he learned, it rained, poured heavily. He ran into the forest and screamed till his voice gave out

No way… No way. NO WAY. NO WAY! NO WAY IN HELL!

He clenched as he fell to his knees. How could they keep such a secret to him? Everyone. Every one of them lied to him. Because he was some kid. Because you were just an orphan? Why? Why didn’t anyone tell him?

Unlike the others, he told his mother the truth he learned. Those adoption papers that sat on her desk in the study room were put away into a drawer, locked up. His mother soon fell ill from griefing and the shock, passing soon after then

Now when he walked the same roads and saw the people you helped, he saw red. That rage boil within him. Who knew and didn’t care? Who ignored your tragic death?

Without anything to ground him, he only had his job as the new radio host. A grand start!

“Welcome, everyone! I am Alastor, now your new radio host! You might have remembered me from other channels when I was still a young lad, haha! I’m here to stay! But regrettably, I have to start with recording some distrubing and tragic news. There seems to be a killer on the loose. So everyone be sure to lock your doors and windows at all times, you never know when the killer will strike.”

Note: A bit short but... That concludes the parts for the human Alastor and Reader~ Next up are the ones for the demon version and in Hell~

Circe Y. 

My Works: MASTERLIST

Taglist: (those that don't specify to being in all the works' taglist will automatically be assumed to be in whichever series they comment on)

@aconfusedwonderland @crowleysthings @donustellaron @mistpurpl3 @lucifers-silhouette @fluffy-koalala @boredwithlifeatthispoint @mysterypotatoink

[jo-harrington]

Standard Operating Procedures 1.04 (Eddie Munson x Store Manager!Reader)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: The summer is ending, school is about to start, the seasons are changing...and so are things between you and Eddie.

Previous Part: Corrective Action

Warnings/Themes: AU where the Upside Down doesn't terrorize Hawkins. Reader works at the Claire's at StarCourt. Eddie works at TapeWorld. Mutual Pining and Slow Burn, Fluff, Food/Eating, Talks about the Future, Romantic Tension/Sexual Tension

You can find my masterlist here for more featuring our resident Store Manager and all of my other writing.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

Eddie had always had a sweet tooth.

His mom swore, up and down, that her only craving had been for Zebra Cakes when she was pregnant with him.

His favorite food as a baby had been mashed peaches.

And now he was sure his body was chemically composed of more Dr. Pepper than water.

So it should have been no big surprise that he was so attracted to you.

Ahem.

So it should have been no big surprise that he would have planned a snack cake taste test extravaganza for your usual Sunday Not-a-Date Date.

You'd revealed early on that your grandparents were both "in the sugar business."

"My grandpa," you told him once as you walked through the mall window shopping on your lunch. "Worked the chocolate chip line at the Maurice Lenell bakery."

"Are those the fancy cookie tins--"

"That they sell at Christmas? Yes."

"Wayne always gets one with his holiday bonus," Eddie reminisced. "The pinwheel ones with the red sugar on the outside are my favorite."

"And my grandma worked at the Hostess factory," you continued. "She always always brought home boxes of rejects. I probably would have been too shy to make friends at school if they hadn't flocked to me for baked goods."

Because of this though, you had never fraternized with the enemy, as Eddie so dramatically put it: Little Debbie.

"And now," his gaze turned dark and mischievous as he threw open the doors to the van. "You shall feel the full power of the dark side."

He outdid himself, truly.

Piles of snack cakes from the gas station, sorted into two neat little stacks, a little notebook for scorekeeping, and a 6-pack of Mountain Dew as a palette cleanser.

“You keep saying,” he said as you settled in amongst the pillows and blankets he’d set up in the back so you’d both have a cozy spot to snack. The radio was softly playing in the background. It was nice. “That you wanted to drink the water in the mall fountains. Did you know that Mountain Dew is the closest you’re gonna get?”

You’d both run garbage late one Wednesday night and thrown coins into the fountain on your way back to your stores. And that’s when you’d revealed your deepest darkest secret.

“Because they’ll both probably kill me in the end?” You joked.

“No, because Bromine is in both.”

“Ok nerd.” You snorted.

“Not…a nerd,” he shoved you as he plopped down beside you. “But I did this project for chemistry class last year. On Mountain Dew. And how it gets that color. And it’s also how they keep the fountain water clean. Or pool water? I can’t remember exactly right now.”

“Ok nerd.”

“I’m sorry,” he clutched his hand over his heart. “My lady wanted to taste only the finest of fountain water. And I deliver her the closest thing and am openly mocked? Twice?”

You stuck your tongue out at him and slapped his shoulder, then asked what the rubric was for the taste test.

And then you snacked til you made yourselves sick and did what you always did, balanced conversation and companionable silence.

That was a new thing. The silence.

Not for the two of you, but for Eddie.

He wasn't used to silence, he was used to loud music, noises and raucous laughter and adventure--real or fantasy--with his friends, but since the two of you started hanging out, he was getting used to the silence a little more. Enjoying it. Savoring it. Looking forward to it.

The anticipation of waiting for something wonderful--thoughts or observations or confessions--coming of your mouth made him feel warm inside.

Eddie had pondered your friendship earlier in the day as you'd run in to let him know you couldn't take lunch together.

"There's this crazy long piercing line and I'm just running to get a slice of pizza and then going back up. I'm so sorry, I'll see you after work ok?"

Your energy was frantic and your words faster than lightspeed, but your eyes were filled with concern and care for him. The little hitch of your eyebrows and the extra pause you took so you made sure that he understood that you weren't ditching him you just...couldn't do lunch and didn't want to leave him hanging.

Even when everything was falling apart around you, you cared to make sure he understood.

It was nice.

And it wasn't just you. But it was nicer when it was you.

He didn't get a lot of understanding like that. Especially not in Hawkins where his last name and his appearance caused everyone's hackles to raise a little. And even the people who did want him around...well it was hit or miss if they decided to stick around.

But since working at StarCourt, things had been different. He had a boss and coworkers who liked him, inside jokes with people who worked at other stores. He had you. He wasn't Eddie The Freak Munson. He was Eddie from TapeWorld. And Eddie from TapeWorld seemed to help people warm up to Eddie Munson.

What a weird concept. People wanting him around. Coming to StarCourt and being around people who accepted him and valued him...understood him. He'd only felt that way with Hellfire...and with Corroded Coffin.

People were good and people liked him. A sweeter treat than all the Hostess in the world.

It had been a few months now; a few months of an actual job, a consistent crush friend, and everything seeming to look up for him. Give or take a few minor hiccups but...he was feeling good.

And school was starting soon, maybe this would be the year the tide turned? No more waiting for the future to finally happen for him; he was making things happen for himself.

It might finally be his year...

"So," he leaned over, into your personal space, and fished a folded piece of paper from his back pocket. "Kyle gave me this thing yesterday."

"Oh yeah?" Your eyebrows raised in curiosity as you happily munched on a sugary treat.

He'd spiraled a little bit when he'd been handed the sheet. Three little words at the top.

Schedule Change Request.

Way back at the beginning of summer, after the initial shock that he'd gotten the job at TapeWorld, he figured he was just counting his days until he was fired and that the start of the school year would have been the final nail in the coffin if he made it that far.

Instead Kyle was...asking him to stay.

"I’m probably not gonna be able to give you as many hours with school,” he sighed. “Which is a real bummer. But I’ll put you on as much as I can."

"You're not kicking me out?" Eddie asked, shocked.

"What? Are you nuts? Ed, you're like...my best guy! I need you here. Selling those guitars, getting those sales bonuses. And because you're my buddy. So make sure you put your for-sure days off on there...you know I'm gonna forget.”

He explained it all to you, which led to you cackling loudly.

"Oh my God," you laughed. "Eddie!"

"What? I know it's silly."

"No, I'm not laughing because of that," you began. "My first position at Claire's had been a summer job too and I seriously thought that I was gonna get fired once school was back in session."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. And it's a real thing because no one tells you that you're done when summer's over. You're gonna see come Christmas, Kyle will have to hire seasonal associates--and hey, ok...seriously if Gareth or Dave come asking for a job...it might seem fun...but don't--and he'll have to make sure they have end dates on their paperwork otherwise it's a whole thing."

You went on and on about helping your old manager with paperwork and you'd forgotten to put an end date as you were filling everything out. And then someone's mom came to complain at the end of the season when their kid was let go.

"And she kept screaming and screaming. And that's why I have a strict parent policy at work. Even though I'm the reason that got so fucked up; trial by fire. Jen was pissed."

Eddie reached out and unwrapped your hand from the Sno-Ball that you had crushed as you told the story. He adored it when you got so animated, but the poor little pastry was now just a mess of crumbs and frosting and marshmallow goo on your fingers and now his as he plucked the half-destroyed treat from your grasp.

And the thing was...

The thing was, Eddie wasn't...he was decidedly not smooth. He was gross. He was a gross boy. He hacked loogies and did spit handshakes with the guys all the time. He had no five second rule when it came to food dropped on the floor; it was an optical inspection and then usually straight down the gullet.

He could be romantic and seductive if he wanted to be; he could charm the...ahem...pants off some people if the need arose. And he had.

But that wasn't this.

This was a caught up in the moment of having a good time with his friend and doing what he would have done if one of his buddies crushed a snack cake. He'd be his usual gross self and expect them to groan and screech and laugh at him. Boys will be boys and all.

This was a too little too late moment of realization as he, Eddie Munson, lacking the foresight of having napkins in the van for this little snack cake taste test since he usually wiped his honey-bun-icing slick hands on his jeans after he unhinged his jaw and shoved it in on mornings when he was running late, saw no other way to clean sweet frosting off your hand except to lick it off your thumb.

The van suddenly got smaller and hotter as his tongue traveled up the pad of your finger, over the ridge of each joint and to the center of your palm. His eyes traveled up to meet yours as he flicked the sweetness off of you, and his breath hitched when he saw the way your eyes widened.

How was he supposed to deal with this? How was he supposed to handle this epic potential fuck up right here? How was he supposed to stop his brain--and maybe some other parts of him--from wanting to take the hand that gently held your wrist and pull you closer so he could kiss the sugar from your lips and not just...

Lick it off your hand.

Jesus, he was an idiot.

Caught between a rock and a hard dick.

Hard place. Fuck.

But that was the conundrum right? Because Eddie did want to kiss you; he enjoyed kissing...a lot actually, and it would be...nice if all of these dates were actual dates so that he could just kiss you and squeeze you and all of the nice things that came with...having someone who liked you back. So he didn't have to shoot Kyle a dirty look every time he teased "have a nice lunch with your girlfriend" knowing fully well that it was exactly what Eddie wanted.

He'd heard the spiel many times when Kyle had come back from his own lunch and then stood over Eddie as the younger man unpacked shipments, and told him, flat out, hands on his hips "you just need to ask her out man I'm getting sick of this."

And the guys had teased him a bunch.

And Wayne kept asking when you were coming around again.

Well this could be it.

A horrible start to asking a girl out on a date but wouldn't that be a funny story, and Eddie really did like a funny story.

This is. This is the moment.

Eddie opened his mouth to say something and so did you. You both backed down from actually saying anything. Eddie's hand tightened on your wrist and he was sure he could feel your heart beating faster. And was that you leaning a little closer to him? And did your eyes look at his mouth as he licked over the seam of his lips really quickly for courage.

He opened his mouth again...

Courage. He could do it. This was gonna be his year, and you were gonna be his girl.

...and then slammed the broken remains of the SnoBall in.

Quite literally slammed, shoved, fingers flailing as he tried to smoosh the chocolate cake and pink-coated marshmallow and remnants of frosting inside.

He let go of your wrist and then backed away from you as far as he could.

Idiot.

You let out a nervous laugh and looked down at your messy hand. You tried to use a discarded wrapper to clean yourself up when Eddie just...pulled off the flannel that he'd layered on to help wipe you off instead.

Like he probably should have done in the first place.

You didn't say anything, just smiled gently at him, like you always did. Always patient. Always forgiving of his mistakes.

What had you even been talking about before?

Oh...right.

"Note to self," he muttered around the SnoBall. "Never becoming a manager."

Your eyes crinkled a little as your smile got bigger and you grabbed onto the front of his shirt and shook him a little.

"Save yourself!"

The rest of your evening went by unremarkably.

You both got too hyped up on sweets and Mountain Dew, ran a few circles around the van in the StarCourt parking lot, headbanging and screaming, after Eddie threw on a tape he said the two of you could dance to. Then to Dairy Queen where you soaked up all the sugar with chili cheese dogs.

An otherwise normal Sunday for the two of you.

Mishap forgotten.

Nerves forgotten.

Misplaced feelings...forgotten.

For now.

---

Next Part: Standard Operating Procedures 1.05

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

I think Anakin cares about Obi-Wan and the Jedi as much as he is CAPABLE of caring about anybody. By which I mean, he will never care about Obi-Wan or the Jedi as much as he cares about HIMSELF and what HE wants and how HE feels. They will always, always, ALWAYS be second to that.

I think Anakin has a difficult relationship with the Jedi Council as an authoritative body and a difficult relationship with Obi-Wan as his master for similar reasons. Understandably, he comes into both of these relationships with certain biases from his background as well as the relatively recent rejection from the Council coloring his opinions. I think it forces a certain inferiority complex and distance in Anakin's relationship with them to some degree that he never quite gets over.

And we see this come up over and over again. He's "fine" with the Jedi right up until he isn't. My favorite example of this is Luminara during the Weapons Factory episode on Geonosis. For the first two thirds of that episode, Anakin and Luminara actually get along REALLY WELL. He has zero issues fighting alongside her, she expresses that she's missed working with him, they're FINE, they seem comfortable and friendly around each other and have a history with each other that is clearly positive. And then the padawans blow up the factory and Anakin and Luminara don't know if they made it out. Anakin goes to comfort Luminara and she responds with "Be at ease" which seems to immediately throw Anakin on the defensive. For the rest of the episode, he intentionally provokes Luminara (unsuccessfully), starts arguments with her, and even tries to throw her under the bus in front of her own padawan by claiming she'd given up. He likes Luminara and is willing to comfort her RIGHT UP UNTIL HE ISN'T. Right up until she says something more Jedi-like and he takes it as a personal insult and he then proceeds to be unkind to her without her even doing anything to earn it more than once. He's unwilling to meet her halfway or understand her perspective on it, he's JUST aggressive and arrogant. Anakin sees Luminara's calm and pragmatic approach to the situation as something of a personal condemnation when she never means it that way and all of that friendly demeanor he had before just... goes away. Because the way HE FEELS is more important than his relationship to Luminara.

So I think he LIKES the Jedi individually, I think he does care about the ones he considers friends, but his care is NOT unconditional, it comes with strings. He gives loyalty to people but he expects that same loyalty back, even when that's not something the Jedi can do for him, it's not something they've EVER been able to do for him and they would've been pretty clear about that (he's clearly aware of it when he recites the "attachment is forbidden" rule to Padme). So rather than leaving the Jedi to search out what he needs elsewhere, he just lets his resentment towards them grow and grow for years.

It's not helped by Palpatine intentionally stoking his resentment, of course, telling him that the Jedi act the way they do because they're jealous of him rather than because their culture is just... different. He encourages Anakin's arrogance and drives more and more of a wedge between them so even if Anakin from TPM COULD'VE ultimately figured it out and had a perfectly healthy relationship with the Jedi regardless of what kind of loyalty they offered him, he keeps getting offered a simpler path to take, and he keeps choosing that path instead of the one the Jedi try to show him. Anakin lets his resentment and arrogance grow, lets that distance between himself and the Jedi grow wider and wider until it becomes an insurmountable gulf.

I think Anakin does believe he cares about these people, and on some level he does, but that relationship is sort-of toxic from the beginning and we see that with the way he acts in AOTC and the way he acts towards people like Luminara and even Ahsoka and Obi-Wan in TCW. Anakin cares about people only so long as they play by his rules. He does the same to Padme pretty often when he demands she obey him because he's her husband and gets angry and punishes her when she refuses.

Anakin is capable of listening to the Jedi, capable of taking the occasional criticism, but he never actually learns from his mistakes, never takes the Jedi's advice. He listens, but he doesn't really hear anything. He retains nothing from it. It goes in one ear and out the other because he's CONVINCED that nothing the Jedi have to say to him is worth listening to unless it's praise because he's so super special that if they're criticizing him it's only because they're jealous.

Even in ROTS, when he is supposedly at his most mature (although it is also simultaneously his most unstable), he is throwing temper tantrums at the Council, he is showing favoritism and a lack of willingness to understand the Council's point of view. He can't see the similarities between the Council asking him to spy on someone they can prove is corrupt and Palpatine literally telling Anakin to be his eyes and ears on the Jedi Council. He condemns the Council for being unfair and cruel for asking him to spy on a friend, but sees zero problems with Palpatine giving him a promotion so he can pass on along sensitive information to him about the Jedi's leadership. Even when he apologizes to Obi-Wan, he isn't actually apologizing for believing the Council to be in the wrong about not making him a master or asking him to spy on Palpatine, he's mostly just apologizing for throwing a temper tantrum about it in front of the Council and humiliating Obi-Wan as a result. He STILL thinks the Council's wrong and Palpatine is right.

And personally I think that says everything you need to know about how Anakin ultimately views the Jedi. When it's the Jedi asking him to spy on Palpatine, it's asking him to betray a FRIEND, but when it's Palpatine asking him to spy on the Jedi, it's completely justified. This tells me that Anakin doesn't truly see the Jedi as his friends, as people he genuinely cares about. Anakin is friendly with them and I think he cares about them on a distant professional level, but that's really it. I think he's probably CONVINCED himself it's more, that he sees them as friends or even family, but his reaction to the two requests in this film show us the truth, one Anakin himself may not be willing to acknowledge.

And it's clear by ROTS that the Jedi are aware that Anakin has a close relationship with Palpatine. It's not something Anakin tries to hide necessarily, he gets into a dick measuring contest with Tarkin over who is Palpatine's favorite in season 3 of TCW, so it's not exactly shocking that Obi-Wan might reasonably be worried that Anakin may say something to Palpatine about the Rako Hardeen mission if he was in on it. I do think Obi-Wan probably had more than one reason for the choices he made. Anakin is better at acting and lying in TCW than he is in the films, but if we assume he's supposed to be someone who is notoriously lacking in subtlety and bad at keeping secrets and wears his heart on his sleeve, Obi-Wan is probably ENTIRELY RIGHT that if Anakin had known Obi-Wan was alive, he would've given away the truth to anyone with eyes even if he DIDN'T say anything. So it may be less about Obi-Wan worrying Anakin might specifically spill the beans to Palpatine and more of a general worry that Anakin isn't a good enough actor to pull off the reaction they'd need in order to convince the galaxy that Obi-Wan was dead, which would blow the entire thing and put Palpatine's life at risk (which, even if none of the Jedi LIKE Palpatine, he's still the leader of the Republic and they haven't quite gotten to the point where they're ready and willing to kill him in order to remove him from office, so they'd rightfully see the death of the Chancellor as something that could easily cause enough chaos to lose them the war). It could also be a combination of both of these things, Anakin's close relationship with Palpatine AND his bad acting skills.

So yeah, Anakin does care about the Jedi, but his care comes with strings, and he doesn't care about them enough not to murder them all when it benefits him to do so, so his care doesn't really amount to much in the end.

[seat-safety-switch]

“Congratulations, caller! You’ve won a new paint job and detail for your car!”

I had been listening to Sharky In The Morning on The Pulse 93.6 FM for months just to get to this moment. Sharky (not his real name) had promised that one lucky listener would get a fully-paid-for paint job for their car. A little weird of a radio show prize, to be sure, but it was something that I desperately needed.

You see, most of my cars are decrepit shit boxes. There’s dings. There’s rust. There’s accident damage. There’s holes. And getting some body work and a nice paint job would go a long way to returning my car to respectability, and perhaps even myself to employment. I went over to the radio station at the first opportunity, banging and clanging the entire way.

When I got there, I found out a cruel truth of the new era of media: radio stations don’t actually exist. Their address was a server closet in the middle of a cornfield. “Sharky” was a radio DJ from out of province, who did at least seven different cities’ morning zoo programs under different names. Despite myself, I felt cheated on. I thought we had a relationship, me and Sharky In The Morning, but clearly he didn’t feel the same way. Eyes burning with tears, I peeled out of the field and onto the highway, making sure to dispense a short, but angry, one-tire-fire strip of smouldering tire rubber behind as I did so.

A few weeks later, the package from the radio station arrived. I headed to the bodyshop and was summarily rejected. “They said a paint job, man, this is an entire overhaul,” explained the minimum-wage artisan hired to spray my car with something resembling an environmentally-friendly colour. This argument was not unexpected. I came prepared.

“I think you’ll find that if you look in my trunk, you’ll reconsider.”

Inside my trunk was my own shark. My shark of an attorney, Max. He was toting quite the package himself. Of writs, that is. Max was already grinning as the trunk lid flipped open, although he probably cheated and looked through a rust hole. My friend wasted no time in explaining both the body shop’s and the radio station’s respective responsibilities within the bounds of the contest, and how his own professional responsibility extended to hurting as many people involved with this ill-planned legal machination for as long as it took to make someone come out and Bondo up my crapcan before applying a new shade of Plymouth factory baby shit brown.

“With bass boat flake,” I added, hopefully. 

Max barely acknowledged my interjection, and opened his briefcase. Inside that case was nothing except for a series of intricately-detailed, meticulously accurate finger puppets representing myself, his attorney, “Sharky,” and the body shop service writer, which he then proceeded to demonstrate the facts of the case using. I was particularly impressed at how accurate the representation of the service writer was, considering neither of us had ever met him before today.

I didn’t get my bass boat flake, and to be honest, the quality of the paint job, although airtight, was a little crappy. Max told me that there was no legal precedent for water-based paint being ruined by the bodyshop owner’s tears, but we could always try to enter another contest.

[armpirate]

Anti-romantic || JJk | Ch. 5

Pairings: Boxer!Jungkook x fem!reader || Enemies to lovers, neighbors

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, curse, illegal boxing, violence

Warnings: fuckboy!Jungkook x reader, smut, dirty talk, curse, mention of tarot and fate

Summary: Jungkook had always been carefree when it came to love. He always believed he was worth sharing himself with everyone, and thought it was selfish of him to ever think of keeping himself exclusive to just one person.

And maybe that was exactly what got him into the big problem he was in.

A curse that kept him away from love didn't seem an issue for him. The fact that his ex-girlfriend thought he'd be affected by the idea of the girls he slept with running away from him after sex was ridiculous. She actually did him a favor, and took a burden away from him.

At least that was what he thought at first.

He had never found himself thinking of the possibility of repeating with neither of his hook ups, because they disappeared before he was able to even think about it. But when he makes the mistake of sleeping with the sexy neighbor that lives in front of him, he finds himself hoping to get the chance for a second round every time their paths cross.

Y/n hated him the second he set foot inside the building by the way he started making her life a miserable mess for no reason. Sleeping with him was a big mistake she wasn't thinking of repeating. At least not until he came up with the excuse that she rejected him for a curse. Not only she thought he was annoying, but she was also convinced he was crazy. 

There was no way she could take him seriously.

Aprox. time of reading: 18 minutes

Chapter warnings: [Violence] Illegal fights [Smut] Blood licking, mentions of sex

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

She felt her arm twitching, before the rest of her body reacted to the sound of her phone buzzing and blasting some music. She could tell it was still night when her eyes opened, with her room only being lit by the screen of her phone.

Her hand reached for the shaky device on her nightstand. She let out a sigh when she saw Jack's name on her screen, before she answered the call and laid her phone against her ear to be able to hide her arm under her blanket again.

—Do you know what time it is? —her voice sounded sleepy and tired.

After what happened with Jungkook a few days back, she had finally been able to keep up with some of the rest he forced her leave behind, only to be interrupted again by one of the sources she managed to find the little time she worked in that newspaper.

—I thought you'd like to hear the exclusive I have for you, but if it's not the case…

—I swear if it's another dumbass breaking a Record Guiness for the longest fart in history, I'll go wherever you are and kill you with my own hands —she threatened.

She was too tired, too annoyed and too done with life to deal with something like that again.

—And how does an illegal fight in South Shore sound?

Her eyes suddenly opened at the mention of that, sitting on the bed almost instantly and causing her phone to fall over the blanket.

—…I have to take a flight in thirty minutes, yet I'm giving you some golden info for you to treat me that way.

—Jack, shut up. What are you talking about?

Y/n had been after that information for months -or more so, almost a year-, but whenever she thought she was getting somewhere, it always ended up with a wall blocking any chance she could have of finding out more about it.

—Ah, so now you're interested?

—Unless you want me to show up at O'Hare, you better start talking.

—I have a friend who received a message for it after he started training at some gym. Apparently, some owners and trainers introduce their fighters to it —she heard him sigh—. It's tonight, at eleven. It'll be in that abandoned nylon factory near the bay. Do you know where it is?

—I think I know, but could you send me the location?

—Sure.

Before she was able to celebrate it, Jack's voice got her attention again.

—Whatever you do, please be careful and try to be as discreet as possible. I know you already know how dangerous the people in there are, but I don't want you to risk yours and my friend's asses.

She hung up the call, assuring Jack that she'd be as careful as possible about it, while also being sure that it'd be a chance she wouldn't allow to pass. She'd have to ask her boss for the company's car though, and that probably wouldn't be easy.

—3A, do you know what fucking time it is? Have those phone calls at a normal time —Jungkook whined on the other side.

Her eyes rolled instantly after hearing his muffled voice through the wall. For the first time, she was regretting that awful hole she chose to do out of desperation a few nights back.

Opting to simply ignore him, she left her phone back on the nightstand, connecting it back to the charger before she rolled in her bed to find the right position to fall asleep again.

Her fingers tapped nervously at the wheel plastic cover, feeling everything she ate piling up at the entrance of her stomach as if it were planning to go all its way up her throat. For one second, she thought if it was really worth it. She had gone too long after it for no reason, it wasn't like it was going to change anything for her, and it also was a superficial story no one would care about after reading it. It was the type of story that entertained people, but that created no complex thoughts after "Oh, wow, some people are doing something that doesn't affect me at all. Let me pretend to be concerned about it, before I jump to the sports section". She remembered how even the chief editor was surprised with her election, when there were many good articles to choose from that week: elections, manifestations, a worldwide celeb's scandal… yet she stagnated to something that would go unnoticed.

There wasn't a lot of control to get inside. Actually, there was no control And she guessed that it could be because no one, except for the people who received a message, would know about that fight. She was convinced that the few people who went there either bet money or fought.

The smell was heavy as she stepped inside, walking among the crowd. It wasn't anything putrid, or that couldn't be bearable, but the humidity from the walls -because of how old and unattended the place was- was noticeable in the air, and she wondered how healthy breathing that air was.

It felt uncomfortable walking through those people, trying to make it as close as possible to the improvised boxing ring, but she still did it, making sure the hood of her jacket wouldn't move as she tried to cover her face and hair as much as possible -and she wasn't the only one doing that.

Her heart raced as she got closer, managing to see the spots from fresh blood on the floor before the two fighters started a new round. And it felt like it'd escape through her mouth when, holding her phone tight in her fingers, she moved it through her sleeve as little as possible to just let the camera peek over to film the whole thing.

She was forced to move when one shoulder suddenly blocked her view, although maybe that'd be better to cover up the whole thing closer to the ring. Once she thought she had enough of that fight, she moved to the side, escaping from the crowd and also getting closer to where some of the fighters were.

Her heart beat fast for one second, as if it had a sudden electric shock when she felt someone pulling from her hood.

—Hope you know you can't record here —a thick voice warned at her back.

She was ready to reply to that accusation, hiding her phone deep into her sleeve as she turned on her tracks. His almost folded eyelids, positioned in a challenging way, widened when he realized it was his neighbor in front of him.

—What the fuck are you doing here? —Jungkook spoke first, widening the way his eyebrows were furrowing.

—I could say the right same thing —she replied back, moving away from him.

Jungkook sighed, looking away for a mini second before his eyes were back on her. Having to be there was bad enough, but seeing the last person he wanted to see there made it worse. Ever since their paths crossed, it seemed like he wasn't able to escape her, especially after what happened the last night they were together in the same place.

—Are you a cop?

—It's not your business —she replied back.

Having her there would only be a big distraction he wouldn't be able to deal with. Jungkook didn't want to know why she was there, or how she knew about the fight, he was just thinking of having her leave as soon as possible.

He sighed exasperated, realizing how that conversation would take them nowhere. She wasn't going to give away her reason, so there was no point in arguing with her about it.

—If you're smart, which after these weeks I doubt —he added, referencing the several encounters they had had ever since he moved in—, leave and delete whatever it is you've filmed. You don't wanna deal with the people here.

—Jungkook, you're next —they both heard at the side.

Y/n just scoffed at that, looking back at him. If his black tank top, and his black shorts weren't enough for her to tell, that person confirmed it for her.

—Seems like you aren't that smart either.

There was no point in arguing with her, he knew she wouldn't listen even if he told her to go home because the people in that place had robbery with violence as the most mild crime. His eyes dropped on her quickly before his lips twisted, tilting his head.

—Do whatever you want, then.

Those were the last words he dedicated to her, before he walked past her body and disappeared among the crowd. It wasn't like she had much of a choice when it came to what she wanted to do. On one side, she knew she wouldn't get to know what she went looking for, but on the other side, she needed more content for the article.

The crowd suddenly seemed more invested in the upcoming fight, surprising her when she heard the chants and growls as the two fighters were presented.

Rodric "The Bully", and the Doberman of Busan.

She rolled her eyes at what she believed was Jungkook's name. "Doberman of Busan", someone had to be kidding her.

In the ring, Jungkook tried to contain his need to break Rodric's nose before the bell even announced the start of the fight, after he whispered how he was dead meat and how he'd eat him in a matter of seconds.

It wasn't a comment that surprised him in any way, but that still annoyed him.

The fight started with the two of them slowly meeting each other at the center, throwing daring glares over their gloves as they tried to guess who'd be the first to attack.

All his confidence was gone towards the end of the second round, his face was covered in blood that spilled down from his eyebrow and his broken lip. After falling a few times, and standing up before the count reached the fourth number, he was already feeling dizzy, hardly managing to see through that blurry gaze he was already suffering from.

He had good resistance, but he was better at attack than that night. Maybe the fact that his neighbor was among the crowd played an important factor. Checking on her, while trying to make sure no asshole would bother her and no guard would catch her filming played as big favor for Rodric -who smirked at him whenever he got up and got ready to be beaten.

His body fell flat on the floor again when he received a hook, after he heard Y/n complaining while trying to get rid of Jimmy's grip.

At that point of the fight, where the count didn't even matter, Rodric smiled, getting ready to give him the final punch as he walked towards his body.

Jungkook tried to stand up, or at least roll on the ground by himself, but his body reached a limit that night. Most parts felt numb, only being aware of the way Rodric made him lie on his back.

The devil seemed to be on his side that day though, seeing everyone panicking around him when the place was suddenly lighted by blue and red lights, along with several cops telling everyone to stay still in their places.

His back collided against the ground again, when Rodric let go of him, not without promising the next time he wouldn't be as lucky. He didn't expect the night to end as bad when he received the text for the fight, but there he was: lying on the ground and getting ready to be arrested and taken to the police station.

As soon as Jimmy found more important his freedom than whatever it was that she filmed, Y/n got ready to leave as well. Until she saw Jungkook lying on the ground, not even attempting to move.

She was genuinely thinking of leaving him there. Maybe that was the answer to her prayers for the past three weeks.

She clicked her tongue when she found herself bearing with all the pushes and pulls, walking against the flow to reach Jungkook.

—We need to leave —she whispered to him, helping him to get up and walk by hooking his right arm around her neck.

Jungkook managed to open his plump eyes, looking down to see her dragging him to the nearest exit until the two of them reached an old car, where she pushed him to the backseats.

While he looked conscious from the outside, it actually seemed like his body was moving automatically, following her guidance and doing what felt right. He wasn't even aware of how fast she drove from the center to their building until she dropped his body over her couch abruptly, making him moan while he closed his eyes.

She could've left him on his doorstep until he regained some consciousness back, and she would be lying if she had said she didn't feel tempted to, but she still allowed him to step inside her place. She also helped him get rid of the gloves and the bandages carefully, scared of him being injured or hurt after the fight.

—I can do that myself —he mumbled, moving his hands away.

—Fine —she dropped his hand hard over his thigh, getting a low groan from him—. Do it yourself.

For one second she forgot she was dealing with the pain in the ass Jungkook was.

Although she was annoyed, she still moved around her place, trying to get the few things she had to cure the wounds on his face. She looked after him, but it didn't mean she wouldn't use it to her advantage either.

He hissed, squirmed and moved his head away every time she pressed hard on the places she wanted to heal, finding some joy in his pissed off expression. She also prepared some ice cubes covered in a rag, ignoring his stretched hand to press it directly on the wound on his eyebrow until she saw him holding it.

Jungkook looked around her place, finding the similarities in structure, but seeing it completely different from his own. Her house seemed cozy, ready to bring calmness to anyone who stepped inside. Her furniture was also black and white, but the different accessories over them created a huge change. Like the thick purple blanket that was over the backrest of her couch, on his side, or the big world map that was over his head. She even had pictures displayed over the cabinet next to her door, and a jar filled with bright pink flowers.

Just like he expected, her house was as feminine and delicate as she seemed.

His head moved in her direction again when he heard her hissing and huffing. Y/n looked at the broken screen, cursing at that man who dropped her phone against the floor when he caught her filming. At least she'd be able to use the videos and pictures it took her so long to get, but she'd have to repair the screen or get a new phone. And both options were too expensive to think about lightly.

—Look at what you did —Jungkook frowned at her accusation.

—Me? I already told you not to film there.

—If you hadn't reached out to me, and shouted how I should stop filming, no one else would've noticed —she dropped the phone over the coffee table.

—Sure, because you were so good at pretending you were doing nothing suspicious… —he squinted his eyes— Who else would've thought this —Jungkook lifted his right hand at the level of his chest, in the most unnatural posture ever— was suspicious if it hadn't been for me.

Jungkook dropped the rag over the couch, finally standing up to confront her.

—I'm the one who should be mad. Look at my face —he pointed at it with his two indexes—. If you had stopped recording when I told you and gone home, I would've been able to focus on my fight.

—I didn't ask you to focus on me —she replied back—. Oh, also…

Jungkook looked confused when she crossed her living room, opening one of the drawers of the furniture next to her table and seeing her walking back to him.

—I also didn't ask for your eighty dollars —she handed him the money.

The morning after she got stuck outside, he managed to hear the conversation she was having with her mother, as she ranted and hell opened beneath them at the several curses because of how expensive the locksmith was.

Leaving the eighty dollars at her footstep was his way to apologize for the way he treated her the previous night. She was confused at first, but was determined to return it to him when pride went back to her and was big enough to forget how she drooled for him all over his face.

—It was my fault you got stuck outside.

—It wasn't, I should've checked first —she sighed—. I don't want your money, and you didn't need to make up for shit —she left the money in front of him at the coffee table.

—But you still blamed me for your broken phone —he replied.

Y/n sighed, looking down at her phone when she realized the argument with Jungkook would take her anywhere. It didn't matter if she had to buy a new phone, because she'd probably be able to opt for better articles and more recognition after she posted her reportage. The screen suddenly went dark before she could even enter the gallery, going completely useless although the battery was at fifty per cent still.

—No —she whined—. No, no, no, no, no

Not like it would change a thing, but she let out her desperation, moving her thumb over the screen as if that would make her phone react. She gasped, and cracked a whimper, dropping the phone from her hands when she felt her fingerprint being sliced.

It wasn't a deep cut, she definitely wouldn't lose her finger. It was more the type of cut she could get with a sheet of paper, but it still was bothersome and some blood started to leak.

She wasn't aware of Jungkook still being there until he stepped closer to her, hearing his sigh over her before he took her wrist and looked at the tiny and thin wound. She was expecting him to do anything, but her body froze when he raised her hand a bit more to wrap his lips around her finger.

The tiniest bit of pain disappeared, because all her senses were too focused on the way his warm mouth felt around her finger, and how his slick tongue moved around softly. Her cheeks started to burn when his eyes sank in hers, as if he were trying to read her thoughts.

Not like they were too complicated to guess them though.

She gulped thick, regaining some senses back.

—Don't you know how dangerous it is to do that? —she tried to break off the moment.

Letting go of her finger with a loud pop sound, he smirked at her.

—What are you talking about now?

—Licking someone you don't know's blood. Apart from the amount of bacteria that could come out of your mouth, you don't know if I'm sick…

—Holy shit, you're like a walking encyclopedia. Are you even sick to say that? —he raised his eyebrow.

—No.

And she certainly wasn't worried about the consequences of what he did, but the reaction and effects it was creating in her body.

—Then what are you so worried about? —he rolled his eyes.

—I'm just trying to let you know that… —he interrupted her again.

—Fine —Jungkook nodded—. I'll lick something else instead.

While she was still trying to process what he meant, Jungkook hooked his fingers around her nape, in an attempt to pull her closer. Although she moved back before he was able to lick her lower lip.

—Do those lines actually work with anyone? —she challenged, lifting her eyebrow.

—Why? Jealous?

—More like going through a first stage of second hand embarrassment —she pushed him.

Jungkook huffed, letting his eyes go to the back of his head as he let go of her body, walking back to the couch and dropping his body lazily on it with a sigh.

—I bet you do much better with that rottweiler attitude —he scoffed.

—I'm better with actions, indeed.

Jungkook's gaze followed her as she walked over him, stopping in front of his legs. It was so hard for him to tell what her intentions were, that maybe that was what drew him to her that way.

She slightly separated his legs, pushing her knee against his until there was a small gap in his thighs. He suddenly felt nervous, gulping thick when her knee fell so close to his crotch, making the place he was sitting at sink a bit on that spot. He moved under her nervously when both of her knees were positioned on each side of his body.

—Are you nervous? —she purred close to his lips, tilting her head.

—You'd need to do much more than this —he lied.

If Y/n leaned closer to him, Jungkook was sure she'd be able to feel the way his heart pumped against his chest like crazy, beating racing up when her breath moved from his lips to his neck.

—Did you take off your piercings? —she suddenly asked.

—Yeah —he threw his head back—. It's… It's better for the fight. Do I look better without them?

—Hmm, it's not that —she rubbed her lips against his—. I wanted to know how it'd feel to pass my tongue over them.

Jungkook's words got stuck in his throat, and soon she had his body trying to hold back the way it squirmed when her tongue traced the line of his marked jaw, starting from the superficial hole his piercings had left.

—I bet you thought I'd end up riding you on that crusty couch of yours after shaming me —she whispered.

The mere image of Y/n taking every inch of him, with her tits bouncing with every move of her hips, got him twitching in his pants, grasping at the fabric of her couch while holding back from touching her.

She licked her lips, rubbing her lips against his before she moved to the other side with a dangerous smile, making him flinch when her breath was then on his left earlobe.

—I probably would have if you had insisted a bit more.

—Why don't you ride me here, then?

She smiled, leaning on him to ghost a kiss on his lips, pushing him back against the backrest when he attempted to kiss her instead. His lower lip was trapped between her teeth, being pulled lightly as he felt all of his skin burning with something so simple.

—It seems like my rottweiler attitude actually works.

Everything she helped to build up was destroyed within seconds, when he stopped feeling her warmth caging him as she moved to the free spot next to him to get up next.

—You look better now, so why don't you walk home and deal with that? —she mocked, pointing at the noticeable bulge under his shorts.

—I can snap my fingers and have three like you showing up at my door —he huffed as he got up.

—Snap your fingers and disappear with them, please —her chuckle made him feel heated.

—You think you're the big deal.

—I got you hard in less than a minute by just licking your ear, judge by yourself.

—You really don't know what you're missing…

As he kept talking, Y/n started to push him towards the door, finding it hard to control his body as she tried to open it.

—Ever heard of what a multiorgasm is? —he went on, ignoring how she was kicking him out— Sex with me is on a whole different level of any other thing you've ever experienced. I…

Her door shut in front of his face before he was able to finish the sentence. Jungkook just stood there, looking at her door for a few seconds before he turned around and sighed after looking down at his bulge.

That woman was so twisted and cruel.

Taglist: @jk97bam @ttanniett

[feckcops]

Mental health diagnoses are capitalist constructs

“Mental and physical diagnoses aren’t objective facts that exist in nature, even though we usually think of them this way. While the experiences and phenomena that fall under different diagnostic categories are, of course, real, the way that we choose to categorise them is often influenced by systems of power. The difference between ‘health’ and ‘illness’, ‘order’ and ‘disorder’ is shaped by which kinds of bodies and minds are conducive to capitalism and the state. For example, the difference between ‘ordinary distress’ and ‘mental illness’ is often defined by its impact on your ability to work. The recent edition of the DSM, psychiatry’s comprehensive manual of ‘mental disorders’, mentions work almost 400 times – work is the central metric for diagnosis.

“When we look across history, it becomes even more obvious that diagnosis is tied to capitalist metrics of productivity: certain categories of illness have come in and out of existence as the conditions of production have changed. In the 19th century, the physician Samuel A. Cartwright proposed the diagnosis of ‘drapetomania’, which would describe enslaved Black people who fled from plantations. While we might think of drapetomania as a historical outlier among ‘true’ and ‘objective’ diagnoses, it is underpinned by the same logic as other diagnoses: it describes mental or physical attributes that make us less exploitable and profitable. In the 1920s, medical and psychological researchers became interested in a pathology called ‘accident-proneness’, which was applied to workers who were repeatedly injured in the brutal and dangerous factory conditions of the industrial revolution. Dyslexia, a diagnosis I have been given, also didn’t emerge until the market began to shift from manual labour towards jobs that relied on reading and writing, when all children were expected to be literate. Despite having problems with reading, I understand that in a world where reading and writing weren’t so central to our daily life, there would be no need to name my dyslexia, no need to diagnose it.

“As a system of state power, many of us rely on diagnosis to get the material things that we need to survive in the world. When illness or disability interferes with our ability to work, we often need a diagnosis to justify our lack of productivity – and for some, diagnosis is the necessary pathway to getting state benefits. If we want to get access to medication, treatment or other healing practices provided by the state, diagnosis is also the token that we need to get there. This is made all the more complicated by the fact that doctors have the power to dispense and withhold diagnoses, regardless of our personal desires. When it comes to psychiatric diagnosis, most of us know someone who has had to fight or wait for years for a diagnosis that would improve their quality of life – particularly in the realm of autism, ADHD and eating disorders. The internalised racism, sexism, classism or ableism of doctors often gets in the way of our ability to access the diagnoses that we want and need. Then there are those of us that are given diagnoses that we reject, a process that we also have no say in ...

“When we understand that psychiatric diagnoses are constructed, contested, and aren’t grounded in biological measures, the idea of ‘self-diagnosis’ starts to feel less dangerous or controversial. Self-diagnosis is grounded in the idea that, while the institution of medicine may hold useful technologies and expertise, we also hold valuable knowledge about our bodies and minds. I know many people who have found solace and respite in communities for various diagnoses, even if they don’t have an official diagnosis from a doctor. These spaces, which respect the wisdom offered by lived experience, can be valuable forums of knowledge-sharing and solidarity. Self-diagnosis also pushes against an oppressive diagnostic system that is so centred around notions of productivity.”

[teruel-a-witch]

the show never gave us a high school reunion episode which is a staple of procedurals/crime dramas so I came up with one, that's why the dialogue is in script format(ish)

the body of danny's high school guidance councillor is discovered on the school grounds, all ties lead to a huge pool of potential suspects including former students and teachers and maybe even a janitor with mob ties. too many suspects with skeletons in their closets are likely to lie to the police and the case could easily go unsolved.

luckily, danny's 20 year reunion is coming up, so he is asked by the local pd to go undercover and secretly question his classmates because they are more likely to spill the secrets if they don't know they are being investigated, as people love to gossip at this kind of events.

danny initially didn't want to go to the reunion which bummed steve out because he was hoping to tag along and get some of the high school experience he had missed out on, and maybe find out some more about danny's life before they met.

steve: i don't get why you hate the idea so much.

danny: i know my wicked good looks and charming personality may lead you to believe i was popular in high school, but that was not the case. of course, you wouldn't get it, i bet you had girls fighting to the death for the pleasure of going to prom with you.

steve: *looks down* we didn't have one at the academy.

danny: right, sorry, forgot you came off the conveyor belt at the factory fully formed. most of us regular flesh and blood humans don't wish to revisit the awkward teenage years. but that's a moot point right now, i gotta help my buddie at the newark pd.

and so steve ends up tagging along. for back-up, of course.

(picture steve and danny standing in the ballroom at the reunion as danny explains to him the veritable who and who of his former classmates/suspects)

former prom queen: so where is the lovely mrs. williams?

danny: *looks at steve across the room talking to some people* he's over there. i let him keep his own name, because i'm nice like that. babe?? come over here, don't make me look like a loser who came to his high school reunion by himself.

of course, steve plays along, even tho initially danny rejected the idea of posing as a couple but he understands that being divorced already makes danny feel like a failure on his own, he doesn't want to give the former mean girls material to make fun of him some more. especially because danny has told him he had asked one of them to prom and not only did she laugh she told all of her friends and they all agreed he was punching above his weight.

truth be told steve is all too happy to escape the unwanted attention of soccer mums and some of their bi-curious husbands that were circling him like a bunch of hungry vultures. he would much rather be danny's pretend husband (if it's as close as he gets to the real thing)

everyone cooes over steve and danny, even tho danny knows most of them would not have been this progressive in the 90s, so he privately sneers at what a bunch of hypocrites they are. a part of him, however, enjoys the clear jealous looks of former beauty queens turned soccer mums and bitter divorcées, because yes, he, danny williams, can pull a gorgeous navy seal, whom all of them tried to hit on when they first came on scene, so who's punching about his weight now, brenda?

eventually, they find the information they need, as well as reveal a bunch of other unrelated secrets, and there's even an impressive suspect take-down. danny is grateful that steve helped him get through this unpleasant reunion and vows to somehow make up for one milestone steve had missed out on.

steve: ready to go home?

danny: not quite yet. the principal scheduled a do-over dance after that whole fiasco, and i wondered maybe you would like to go with me? it's not exactly prom but ...

steve: *is touched* i would be lucky to go with you.

danny: who says you are getting lucky after?

steve: *blushes* i didn't mean ...

danny: relax, who knows where the night takes us, i always wanted to make out with the quarterback under the bleachers *he winks*

steve assumed danny was joking (he wasn't) but they still spent a nice evening. they didn't have to maintain the cover anymore but neither felt like ruining the fantasy so they even slow danced to 'i'll stand by you' by the pretenders. if only had steve requested another '95 hit - bon jovi's 'always' danny would have proposed on the spot, but alas, they were still bound by restrictive tv gods.

[stumblingoverchaos]

Being some recs for fics set after Good Omens S2

Tether Ginger_Cat, Words: 44,562 Aziraphale, Supreme Archangel of the Heavenly Host, is just minding his own business. Really. It's not like he's trying to get summoned to Earth during highly important archangelic duties. And Crowley's not trying to summon him, he swears, but somehow it still keeps happening... Now, if they could only figure out why?

We Can't Keep Meeting Like This Ginger_Cat, Words: 65,450 Once a year, Aziraphale and Crowley meet on Earth to discuss the development of the reincarnated Christ child. The problem is, they can't stop having sex instead.

What You Leave Behind (or, A.J. Crowley, Bookseller Extrodinaire) chubbytransboi, Words: 50,733 “Are you a bookseller too?” “Not even at gunpoint.” After The Promotion, Crowley finds himself as the proprietor of A.Z. Fell and Co. (Emphasis on the ‘Co.’) Or: new jobs, new friends, and new ways of healing. And a LOT of sticky notes.

of truth, of light, of good sideraclara, Words: 75,179 Crowley will save Earth alone if he has to.

Factory Settings Anonymous, Words: 106,998 Crowley gets reinstated as an angel.

and though i burn, how could i fall? (when i am lifted by every word you say to me) shadoweddepths, Words: 24,699 Five times Aziraphale and Crowley argue, and the one time they don't.

But You, My Dear, Are An Ocean megzseattle, Words: 76,895 After Aziraphale's defection, Crowley tries to figure out how to live life for himself.

don't let this darkness fool you mygalfriday (BrinneyFriday), Words: 23,887 Lurching to his feet, Crowley stumbles through his flat in the dark – tripping over empty whiskey bottles and clothes he’d stripped out of and never bothered to pick up again. Heart pounding, he throws open the door. And the bottom drops abruptly out from beneath him. It feels like falling all over again – except from so much higher up than he’d ever been the first time. This is worse. This is so much worse because it isn’t him. It’s Aziraphale.

Endless, Numbered contritecactite, Words: 48,244 Crowley knows where he's not wanted—or, rather, where he was wanted but didn't want to go and is now no longer wanted—so he takes off until he finds a place that doesn't matter. Yet. It starts to matter quite a bit just around the time that Muriel reaches out to him about a book in Aziraphale's old shop that doesn't seem to be acting quite right. A medium-burn sort-of fix-it told partially through Aziraphale's recent diary entries in which nothing terribly dramatic happens because they've had enough of that.

freshly disowned in some frozen devotion (no more alone or myself could i be) shadoweddepths, Words: 22,379 Aziraphale rejects the Metatron's offer and chooses Crowley instead. Crowley helps him through the aftermath.

mourning doves`` sleepyimpulse, Words: 22,686 “I’m sorry,” he registered himself saying between heaving sobs. “I’m so sorry, Crowley, I’m so sorry. Forgive me, please, please forgive me.” He hadn’t meant to say it like that, he knew the words were all wrong (he would never find the right ones). But the pain was coming at him in every direction and something, something had to give, and so he clung to Crowley like a life preserver. Crowley bent his body over Aziraphale’s and slowly, surely, pressed a kiss to his bloodied forehead. “I can’t,” he whispered, and Aziraphale went unconscious.

pieces of you blackeyedblonde, Words: 18,348 “Crowley,” Aziraphale whispers, hand mindlessly grappling for the golden clasp secured at his throat. “What have you done?” “What I’ve always wanted,” Crowley says flatly, clutching the baby close against his bare chest. “You made your choice, angel. And I made a few of my own.” “Whose,” Aziraphale starts to say, and then can’t speak for a moment while something visceral moves through him. “Whose child are they? Other than yours, I mean.” “Look at her for yourself,” Crowley says, drawing his dark wing up just enough that Aziraphale can gaze at the newborn without feathers blocking the lamplight glowing behind them. “You haven’t even been gone for a year—don’t tell me you suddenly can’t recognize one of your own.”

Touch my Tears with Your Lips IneffableDoll, Words: 27,217 The emptiness of Heaven is punishment itself, a torture for a very Earthly angel. He has no power. The Metatron lied to him. Crowley is somewhere else. Aziraphale is alone. When he eventually escapes back to Earth – where he belongs – Aziraphale and Crowley have a lot to work through, even after averting the Second Coming, a renewed attempt at taking away all they hold dear. They need to be gentle with each other’s fragile, fractured hearts and together, figure out how to love one another the way they’ve long wished to. A story of trauma, healing, and love. So, so much love.

Light the Corners of my Mind cyankelpie, Words: 25,897 Aziraphale, thirty-eighth order scrivener—at least, that's who they told him he was—wakes up from some perfectly normal memory loss to find a cryptic note written on his hand. The further he goes in his search for answers, the more questions he has. Will he ever learn why he was demoted to a desk job? Or how he'd managed to collect enough books to open a bookshop? Or why that familiar red-haired demon on Earth seems to be avoiding him?

Devotion, grace and other small miracles Chrissy22, Words: 4,343 Seven months after the events of Season 2, Crowley gets a phone call from a panicking Muriel.

journeys end in lovers' meeting terpsichorean, Words: 48,137 With the Second Coming averted and Aziraphale back on Earth, all Crowley wanted was a return to the way things used to be, before he confessed his feelings and kissed his best friend in what may be the most unsuccessful love confession of all time. In an effort to cheer an equally miserable Aziraphale, the two of them leave London to attend a murder mystery party in an old country estate. But things quickly go wrong and someone ends up dead. It's up to Aziraphale and Crowley to save the other guests from whatever dangers lurk within the manor. And maybe, Crowley will gather the courage to ask the one question he’s not sure he wants answered: why did Aziraphale come back?

nebula 231080 starklystar, Words: 33,710 Philosophers liked to pose the question, observation against perception: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Aziraphale would argue that sound was something witnessed, and Crowley would argue that if sound had to be witnessed, then why was virtue unwitnessed a nobler thing? But first, Crowley would point out that he himself had fallen, alone and without witness, and it had bloody fucking hurt.

I'm the treasure baby, I'm the prize stereobone, Words: 9,405 "Are you working for Mrs. Sandwich?" Nina asks. "No," Crowley says. "Well, yes. Well, define 'working'."

[statleragainstposers]

Dear followers, I have seen the light! @the-muppet-joker is not a fraud, he is the coolest Tumblr user ever. To atone for my past actions, please accept this

Joker X Kermit omegaverse horse-ranch fic

as an apology.

Ahem.

Kermit was just your regular old Southern Belle. He lived all his life on his father's horse-ranch / equestrian academy, which, as you can imagine, led to immense frustrations of the sexual variety. He spent his days pining from his bedroom window, watching the many ranch-hands go about their business, but none caught his attention quite as much as the resident horse tamer: Mr. The Joker.

Kermit would often sneak down to the barns to watch Joker work, the sweat glistening on his pale muscles as his alpha scent permiated the surrounding hay. He often wore a deep purple suit jacket over a soft, velvet green vest, accented by a pair of tight leather assless chaps, and, heh, let's just say he wasn't wearing any underwear...

It was enough to drive a Muppet mad. Kermit knew that he could no longer control his temptations. He needed to confess his love, to feel the Joker's body press against his in passionate Muppet boinking. So, for many days and many nights, he worked tirelessly to compose the love letter to end all love letters, stained by tears and muppet juices. Anxiously, he made his way out onto the paddock and called out in a meek yet eager voice.

"J-Joker-senpai!!! >_<"

Hearing Kermit's call, the Joker made his way over, riding atop his valiant hobby-horse steed. Peering down at the diminutive and petite Muppet, he took the letter with a rough chuckle, reading it quickly with the speed of someone who appreciates fine art. Kermit stood in a state of limbo, his heart racing as his mind flickered between all the ways Joker could reject him... but finally, the silence was broken as the Joker leapt from his horse, landing with a masculine thud.

"Kermit..." he chimed, drawing closer to the trembling Muppet. He leaned in close to Kermit's ear, his hot breath making his Muppet Hole quiver in anticipation. But finally, he spoke, his soft lips delivering the words Kermit was waiting for...

"Sorry, I don't date betas"

The Joker then turned around and began making out with his omega, The Batman, throwing Kermit into the dirt to be trampled upon by horses. Dejected, Kermit then had no choice but to marry Miss Piggy and live the rest of his life in heteronormative suburban hell and also the Olipop factory exploded so there was no new kinds of soda to support digestive health.

The END!!!

Haha, I totally tricked you. You thought this was Jermit smut, but it was actually ANTI Jermit smut (the reverse of regular Jermit smut). Statler wins AGAIN!!!

(Also, he's still my rival)

[shadesofmauve]

Things I learned today

The insurance code for 'out of pocket maximum' is "OOPS." I assume this is because the insurance company is thinking "Oops, now we have to pay a lot of money."

My elbows are Objectively Weird

Yes, other people can hear that sound.

No, the elbows are not supposed to make it.

No, the nerve is not supposed to just roll over into a new spot when you bend, that is not how joints are supposed to work.

I'm actually happy, because it's way better to have hand issues you can address through PT than anything degenerative, which seemed like the other possibility. But really, I've been in PT multiple times and had enough x-rays I should glow, so discovering whole new things at this point is a little weird. Like, clearly we need to quit fucking around.

I want full-body imaging. Then I want to send the results to a bunch of medical students. C'mon class, it's a scavenger hunt! How many things can you find wrong with this picture?!

[mysterybooks-world]

Guys, I have a great story idea

do you know Frowny Fox from GameToons?

Frowny Fox is a rejected toy of Playtime Co. and a rejected member of the Smiling Critters.

my idea is

( I reincarnated to Frowny Fox )

Listen to my idea

y/n was a teenager and a fan of Games & fan story

y/n You like video games & played (poppy playtime) before & And watch The GameToons channel.

When y/n died. they reincarnated to Frowny Fox

They were pleased Because Frowny Fox was their favorite character

My idea is to summarize the story.

After you realize that you Die and become Frowny Fox

y/n Decisions to live a happy and adventurous life

first: You tried to find out if there was a guide and Find a screen

shows you your level and your advantages

Kind of reminds you of undertale

secondly: Fix your body.

You search for a laboratory & you Find the materials to Fix Yourbody.

And you have found a shoulder bag

thirdly: Look for Frowny Fox project ownership papers And destroy the backup copy

Even if you were a rejected toy It is better to be completely free From the factory and CEO

you expected it to be difficult, But you found it easy surprisingly.

You said to yourself: Okay makes sense After all I know the law of the universe GameToons

Fourthly: Find a way out of the factory After you left a message to Hoppy Hopscotch the only and true friend to Frowny Fox

fifthly: What is your goal?

Simply You help people of all ages: like

Abuse Children

Fix parents' relationship with their children however if the parents Don't change

y/n uses the phone to call the authorities and says they are an unknown person who would like to report an Abuse Child.

After the intervention of the authorities

y/n helps find a new family for Children.

Children who are bullied or do not have self-confidence or Autistic children.

teenagers & Adults who find difficulty in their lives

People who Face Trauma & Losing someone dear to them & Mourning

y/n as Frowny Fox you listen to their stories and Help them

After you left the factory

your level up And you earned it new power

Like your bag

y/n appearance changed a little

Imagine with me a Frowny Fox wears glasses

(A note I am a person who wears glasses and I like my character to have glasses So I make y/n a person who wore glasses before they died)

or

(I want his hair to be fluffy and soft)

Imagine this scene with me:

Frowny Fox sings at a music festival With a teenage band

Like this scene (Let It Rain | MLP: Equestria Girls)

Imagine a smoke coming out of the mouth of Frowny Fox And drying up people like Sunset Shimmer

(This is the color of the gas)

You have to admit that this is a fitting (Let It Rain | MLP)song for Frowny Fox

I have other songs that suit the story scenes, I imagine it such as:

(“Gonna Be My Day” My Little Pony: A New Generation) (Good Vibes | MLP: Equestria Girls ) (Run to Break Free | MLP: Equestria Girls) (Equestria Girls Season 2 | 'Find the Magic' Music Video) (Play (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) (Applause - Lady Gaga (Lyrics)) (Top Of The World From the Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile ) (Rip Up The Recipe From the Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile ) (Carried Away From the Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile) (Take A Look At Us Now From the Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile) (Running Out Of Time - The Motion Picture Soundtrack Vivo) (Keep the beat The - Motion Picture Soundtrack Vivo) (Tough crowd - Motion Picture Soundtrack Vivo) ("Wake Up" Clip | Julie and the Phantoms) ("Flying Solo" Clip | Julie and the Phantoms) ("Finally Free" Clip | Julie and the Phantoms) ("Bright" | Julie and the Phantoms) (Stand Tall" Julie and the Phantoms) (Touch The Sky (Brave) Cover) (Lena Hall - The Magic Inside (I Am Just a Pony) (Aviators Remix)) (Who I Am - Lyrics | Tinkerbell and the Pirate Fairy) (Weightless - Lyrics | Tinkerbell and the Pirate Fairy) ("Float" from Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast) (I'll Save You - Jordan Sweeto) (Anna Blue- Where Do I Go?) (Wildside (From "Adventures in Babysitting") ( Theme Song Zendaya - Keep It Undercover) (This Is Me From "Camp Rock") (Victorious Karaoke | Freak the Freak Out) (The Greatest Showman | "Never Enough") (The Greatest Showman Cast - The Greatest Show) (The Greatest Showman | "From Now On") (Will Smith - Friend Like Me from Aladdin) (Adam Friedman - Glorious (lyrics)) (When Can I See You Again - Owl City) (Owl City, Carly Rae Jepsen - Good Time) (Post Malone, Swae Lee - Sunflower) (Song of the Sea | Lullaby) (Bubble OST Florence Mok) ((bubble) theme song Smooth but only the Bubble and Humming sounds 🎶ONE HOUR🎶) (What Else Can I Do? From "Encanto") (Lundh & Jon Becker - Tonight) (Rival & Cadmium - Seasons) (Rival & Arc North - Starlight) (Rival & Cadmium - Fight For Me) (Arensky x Marin Hoxha x Jon Becker - My Gaming Life) (Dominick Soth - Chasing) (Unknown Brain & Spce CadeX - Holding You) (Real Hypha - Getaway)

Yes, I know it's a long list of songs, Anyway

I came up with this idea after watching: REVENGE of the REJECT CRITTER

My brain said to me: Do you remember fan Stories of reborn as UnderTale characters

reborn as Sans or Frisk or Undyne Or any other characters

My brain: Why don't you write a story like this About a reader reborn as Frowny Fox?

This is a thought that buzzed in my head like a bee

There are many ideas for story chapters.

Anyway

After Frowny Fox became famous.

The evil CEO ordered To catch that toy

The evil CEO asked how this happened and how Frowny Fox escaped from his factory

Evil CEO: Oh if I knew this would happen and mumbles

Wilson: sir

Evil CEO: What do you want

Wilson: I checked the cameras Like what you asked about Frowny Fox

Evil CEO: Did you find something?

Wilson: Seemingly Frowny Fox went to a laboratory. then he went to Records.

Wilson: I went to check the Records room.

Wilson: I discovered that he took The original papers of the Frowny Fox project ownership papers And he destroyed the backup copy But he left something out

Evil CEO: Let me see

It was a USB With files

The files were How to fix & update: the reject toys and the forgotten toys And a hair growth formula file for the CEO.

while the USB contains a film of Smiling Critters.

The movie is about There is an evil character Take control of CatNap It makes him create nightmares for children

In this adventure with Smiling Critters With children who save CatNap from the control of the evil one.

Do you remember his episode:

CATNAP is NOT a MONSTER… (Cartoon Animation)

the Scene: (2:25/8:30)

They said: the tape got all warped

so Frowny Fox make Cartoon movie.

With this movie, the people might give CatNap another chance To buy him

There is a file on how to fix CatNap gas problem.

And there too Cartoon episodes about Poppy Playtime toys

Do you remember the episode:

THE FORGOTTEN TOYS… (Cartoon Animation) The REJECT Toys… (Cartoon Animation)

y/n felt sorry for toys In the factory So y/n decided to make ever toys feel loved

Before y/n escaped from the factory, y/n did some research About toys And their problems

After y/n found problems with them and Writ a book of solutions How to fix them & update toys

the a reason that y/n made a Cartoon of Poppy Playtime toys

This is the best promotional method for the reject toys and the forgotten toys

Children will love their stories So it makes sense they will buy toys.

There is a blueprint to build it Repair machine for toys

if there was a toy It was made in bad condition like

LEGEND of KILLY WILLY… (Cartoon Animation) the Scene: 2:20/11:09 The REJECT CRITTER… (Cartoon Animation) the Scene: 0:10/8:33

so y/n explained in a message

Instead of throwing them in the incinerator

Why not fix them?

the machine is called (fixesyl)

Any damaged or bad-looking toy will be repaired by (fixesyl) machine

And finally there was an envelope letter for the CEO

it says:

((If you are reading this, This means you know I'm not in your factory

I don't mind you making Frowny Fox toys But no more evil things

I wanted to know what idiot had thought of making me smell like a wet fox

this is not fair Why do the Smiling Critters have the smell of flowers or fruits while I smell like wet fox

Why didn't they give me a berry scent or Spring rain

And don't worry I will send you the second season of Cartoon Poppy Playtime toys.

After showing the First season the episodes.

And trust me when I tell you, you couldn't find me or catch me however I wouldn't mind being your business partner.

I know what you're thinking right now

I the CEO work with a reject critter, and will Maybe not reject toy anymore.

I will find a way to keep in touch with you.

I have a lot of ideas for you.

I confirm my ideas make you rich dozens of times.

But ask yourself, do you really want me to be your enemy?

So in your opinion:

A: Make me a partner does not care about his share of the profit of the business. just wants you to stop Hurt toys and people

or

B: If you think the Prototype or Player Or any other toys was worst enemys, wait and see what I capabilities of.

We both know the answer to the question

I know you will make the right choice.

note: I made a hair growth formula for you

From your friend And your future partner Frowny Fox))

Let's say Things are getting better improvement In the factory

Some were Confused & doubtful, Others were surprised But some were happy about the change

especially reject toys and forgotten toys They were really happy about the change For example CatNap is Glad he's back in the TV show With his comrades, He does not know the reason for the change But he likes it.

There were a lot of rumors about the CEO's New business partner, No one knows who they are.

And a lot of drama.

Anyway I will do something evil in my au

Do you want to know what it is?

I make the Evil CEO's relationship with Frowny Fox like a parent a With their child relationship

I can imagine the CEO As a member Of the Bad Parents Club Consisting of

(Mommy Long Legs & Daddy Long Legs)( Boxy Boo parents) (BUNZO parents) (the PROTOTYPE)

I know what you're thinking: the PROTOTYPE is not a Parent But if you saw episode:

PJ PUGAPILLAR's DARK SECRET… (Cartoon Animation)

(the Scene: 1:00/8:20)

of course the Evil CEO will deny this And he still says the evilboss only cares about money.

while Frowny Fox grin and gives him knowledge looks.

In part of the story events.

there is evil oc

An evil person Trick the CEO To have him sign the papers handing over ownership of the factory

After he kicked the CEO out of the factory.

the evil oc found a way to conquer ever toys

using Minimize gun it made big toys very small and made them lose their abilities

even The Prototype Defeated

all toys became his prisoner

he Lock them up like this cages

the Image from: The LOOKIES Get REVENGE! (Cartoon Animation)

While giving his evil speech in front of toys cages And the terrible things he will do to them But he was interrupted by one of Co-Workers.

Sir, there is a Missing toy

Evil OC: WHAT, How did this happen?

And what is the name of this toy?

the Worker: Frowny Fox one of the Smiling Critters, We couldn't find him Because he is not in the factory, sir

Hoppy Hopscotch raised her ear When she heard her friend's name

Smiling Critters know who he is Frowny Fox but Other toys do not know him

Evil OC: What that is impossible, these toys do not leave this factory, but live in it.

Wilson: you see sir, the situation With Frowny Fox is different

Evil OC: How so

Wilson: Explain the situation that Frowny Fox was The newest Smiling Critter is invented but he was rejected.

But that won't stop Frowny Fox from move forward.

And explain the rest

the Evil OC and toys were shocked When they knew that Frowny Fox was the business partner with the CEO.

the Evil OC: ordered them to catch him.

Then the Evil OC went to a meeting room With some of Workers.

Hoppy Hopscotch: Don't worry I'm sure Frowny Fox will save us.

Player: Does anyone else know who Frowny Fox is

Poppy: CatNap do know him

CatNap: Yes I know him And true I feel regret When I knew The person who Fix my reputation I treated him badly.

DogDay: no we all did treated him badly will except Hoppy

KickinChicken: we kinda ,played rough with him

Hoppy Hopscotch Shouted: you played rough with him.

you guys bully him and Didn't give him a chance Because he was different from us.

and CatNap do you remember that day When you bring Frowny Fox

The reason Frowny Fox attacked Bubba & DogDay because of they hurt him first. You didn't ask what happened And you attack him without giving him a chance to Explains the situation

The REJECT CRITTER… (Cartoon Animation)(the Scene: 7:44/8:33)

What about that another time when DogDay & KickinChicke threw Frowny Fox away in the incinerator

REVENGE of the REJECT CRITTER (the Scene:0:55/8:17)

DogDay: It was an accident

KickinChicken: Yes, and don't forget that you were pulling His hand too And then we loss of balance Then he fell in the incinerator Then he came back in big monster and tried to kill us.

REVENGE of the REJECT CRITTER (the Scene: 7:12/8:17)

Bubba Bubbaphant: Since that day we have not seen him again

Mommy LL: Why am I not surprised

Boxy Boo: Wow, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't save you

Lovey Dovey: And here I thought I had a personal problem with my Twin sister

sir poops a lot:This is not acceptable to forgive you After what you did to him

Me and my comrades know how he feels Because we were rejected toys too And we were going to stay like that But thanks to Frowny Fox. he gave us another chance to be on store shelves.

Then they started quarreling with each other

Poppy: That's enough, everyone. Listen. We have to work together if you want to get out And return to our natural sizes & And regain are Our strength

Huggy: She's right, We need a plan,

while the CEO meet Frowny Fox by coincidence

the CEO immediately hugged him, And how happy he is that he found him.

Frowny Fox: What is happening In factory.

the CEO Explain how a "Evil OC" Trick him to Sign in a contract that Handing over ownership of the factory to them

to make it short: Everyone was saved and the Ownership of the factory was returned to the CEO

From that day on, some things changed in the factory

Thanks to Frowny Fox They have a Peace Treaty between Toys and Humans

But some details have not changed in the factory's life

Such as chasing or intimidating.

y/n remembers episode of:(BABY LONG LEGS Wants to Be HUMAN)

(The Scene: 3:56/11:22)& (11:15/11:22)

if Baby Long Legs can transform into a human Then back to being his toy self again

What if there was a way to help those who were transformed into toys

So y/n as Frowny Fox With some of the scientists of PlayCo.

Frowny Fox created a device Makes toys who were human Or an animal can be transformed back to themselves

the device design It could be bracelets & a Hair clip & a badge or a necklace & a ring & a watch

with this device They can turn to human self Then back to being toy self again.

So I will ask you what you think of my au idea

Of course, someone will ask if I wrote the first Chapter

Unfortunately, no Because I was busy drawing Frowny Fox

I try to improve my drawing.

But if I find some time I might be able to wrote the first Chapter

Okay, why do I feel if I opened my page the next day There would be many of you?

[ceilingfan5]

may i suggest F (staying over because their basement flooded) w magnus n someone of ur choice :O? thank you -ise

"I still can't believe you were going to spend your money on a hotel!" Magnus gripes. He's been going on about it for maybe fifteen eternities, eons even, and he wouldn't even let Lucretia put the sheets on the spare bed herself. Even though he struggled with the fitted sheet for solidly five minutes.

Because she's a guest.

She did not want to be a guest, but she didn't have any choice in the matter, it seems.

"My insurance might pay for it, you don't know," Lucretia says, watching Magnus fluff up the eighth pillow in a row. She's decided to just lean in the doorway and take it in anthropology style. Ah yes, David Attenborough would say. The Magnus in his natural state: passionate, helpful confusion. Watch carefully as he makes his choices based almost entirely on impulse, and finds himself in a corner. If he wants to survive the winter, he may have to rely on a little help to get the job done. Mutualism-

"I don't know lots of things," Magnus says, like this is a good argument for his side. "But you know what I do know? Family helps family, and we aren't gonna let you rot in a hotel while rats have a pool party in your basement!"

"Yuck," Lucretia says, not budging an inch. "Thanks for willing rats into my home, Magnus, you really know how to cheer a motherfucker up."

"You're welcome!" Magnus grins at her, and pats the bed. The corners are less 'hospital' and more 'cake frosted with fingers', but it's clean, and she didn't have to pay for it, and maybe she shouldn't be a bitter butthole when Magnus is being so kind. One of the pillows slowly tips from the position it was squished into and flops onto the bed, and then the floor, and there's a long bet of silence before she snickers.

"Ah, shit," Magnus says, frowning a little. "You can probably buff that out."

"It isn't totaled," Lucretia agrees, holding in laughter so hard she's trying not to cry. This whole situation is so fucking stupid, and what is she going to lose it about? A dumb pillow on the floor. It just looks so pathetic, and it would be easy to wax poetic about identifying the pathos within herself in this trying moment, but mostly it looks so lost, like a kindergartener in a cigarette factory.

She looks at the pillow, and then looks at Magnus, and maybe Magnus is better at reading her than she thought, because his face is bright red with holding in the laughter too, and the seam bursts and they're losing it. When Julia walks in and looks at the two of them, rolling around on the floor with the stupid, pathetic pillow, she just smiles and shakes her head. She must be used to bullshit like this from Magnus, but she doesn't say a word about Lucretia losing her composure for once. And Lucretia is grateful.

"Dinner in seven minutes and forty nine seconds," Julia calls, breezing right back to her 5,000 piece puzzle of the cats in Halloween costumes dismantling the White House. Lucretia leans on Magnus, and Magnus leans on her, and it's the first time in a long time she's touched or been touched by anyone, and she's not having an emotion about it and if you would like to accuse her of such, Uno reverse, and go sit on it, maybe. But Magnus pulls her into one of his signature bear hugs, and Lucretia is stunned into silence that she's letting her friend hold her, and fuck…it's so good.

"You don't have to do it all by yourself," Magnus whispers.

"Can I hire you to repeat that until I believe it?" Lucretia closes her eyes, and tries not to let her body fully reject the concept like some kind of disease.

"I dunno," Magnus sighs. "My rates are pretty steep. But there's a friends and family discount, so maybe we could work on a payment plan?"

They laugh, and they sigh, and they get another incredibly specific dinner warning. And then they carry on, because they have to, but not alone.

[firespirited]

Hi! I hope this is a reasonable question, but do you have experience working with doll heads purchased from aliexpress? I think I've seen you post about using some before, but I could be misremembering. If you do - what sort of quality do you find they are? I'm looking to replace one of my rainbow high doll's heads and it seems like it might be the easiest option without buying a whole extra doll, but I have no experience with the site at all. I hope you're having a good day! Thank you for your time :)

Hi! My overall experience with the rainbow high heads has been that more than 1 in 3 have needed serious work like bleaching, fixing the paint or cracked heads. Sometimes you get lucky and the actual doll in the picture is the one they send but it is a bit of a gamble.

Aliexpress has a mix of unused stock (first wave Sunnys and Amayas for example) and factory rejects so sometimes you'll get a doll head that has a small easily removed paint rub and another might have cracked during the rooting process.

Basically I recommend looking at local second hand first then aliexpress if you're OK switching eyes and doing some repairs. It takes anywhere from 2 weeks to a month for stuff to arrive. Communicating with a seller directly isn't easy but aliexpress has decent customer service if your item arrives smashed (remember to take photos of the item with the packaging)

I do it because amazon.fr is expensive and just as much of a gamble with quality control, because I like Rainbow High heads on Barbie bodies with darker eyes. (old group photo)

[spideysirens]

My Joker Lore 🃏

Most of this was already established when I started this AU last year but I decided to make some designs changes and tell the story again

Part 1: Gaggy

(Drawing from last year, reposting because these designs are mostly unchanged)

The Original Joker was one of Gotham's most feared gangsters, his clown persona was simply a theme he and his goons liked to put on in order to differentiate from other Gangs, like Penguin's or Black Mask's.

Gaggy was his right hand man, he took pleasure to deal with the Joker's dirty work and would always torture his captured enemies. One night while doing an operation inside the Ace Chemicals factory, Gaggy cornered Joker and told him how he could be so much more. The Joker did everything that he did for money, Gaggy thought that he could bring something different for this city.

Gaggy wanted to commit crimes to cause chaos, he said he could be the Joker that Gotham deserved. Joker screamed how no one would follow a freak like Gaggy, the gang was loyal to him.

Gaggy shot the Joker, who fell in a chemical pool under them. Gaggy recovered the body and was surprised to see that the substance bleached his dead boss's skin white like a ghost. "They are only loyal to me" he had said minutes earlier. They will continue to be loyal to the Joker. Gaggy cut the Joker's face off and strapped to his own, wearing it like a smiling mask.

Part 2: The New Joker

After the New Joker took over, the gang members that rejected him were executed in front of all the others, who were too scared to leave. His madness attracted new goons to the gang, the more violent kind that, just like the Joker, wanted to commit crimes not for money but for sadistic impulses. They took over the Ace Chemicals Factory as the new Joker base.

After months of chaos, the Batman finally arrested the Joker. He was sent to the Arkham Asylum and his "mask", which he kept preserved all these months, was discarded.

The Joker became obsessed with getting a new mask, he wanted his outside to look like the clown he felt inside. During his stay at the Asylum he was usually seen with a mask made of paper taped to his face, with a big smile drawn in the front.

After scaring off and harming many Arkham doctors, the Joker was left to the care of the new psychiatrist, Dr. Quinzel. Joker realized that Dr. Quinzel had a chaotic side that he hid deep down, just like he used to.

Harley Quinzel became the only Arkham employee the Joker would talk to. After months, Harley became convinced that Joker could help him become who he truly was, and that he wasn't that bad after all, he just saw things in a different way.

Harley "accidentally" let Joker escape, and while he was causing mayhem in the Asylum, Harley had one mission: get the Joker a new mask.

While all the guards were in the courtyard, Harley went down to the morgue. He got a sample of the same substance that bleached the old Joker's face, he would use it in a corpse and cut out a new mask to his beloved Joker. Before he could start, a coworker entered the room and saw Harley holding a scalpel and about to cut off a corpse's face. Harley threw the chemicals at him and cut his throat. It's not like he planned but he thought the Joker would appreciate the mask a lot more now.

The Joker escaped and met Harley outside of the Asylum, but getting a new mask wasn't enough to prove his loyalty. The Joker made Harley jump on those same chemicals at the Ace Chemicals Factory. It was painful but Harley survived, his skin and hair were bleached white and his eyes became red.

Part 3: Clown Prince of Crime

Harlequin became the Joker's right hand man, his agility as a former gymast were extremely useful.

After a while, Joker started to become paranoid about Harley. He was to him what he was to the Old Joker. What if Harley decided to betray him just like he did? Joker did not feel anything romantic for Harley, he was simply useful, but Harley's love for the clown was the only thing that made him sure he wouldn't be betrayed, so he had to keep Harley believing that he loved him back.

One day, one of the Joker's plans went wrong and a explosion from his own bombs burned him. He laughed maniacally while the fire burned his mask and destroyed his face, but after Harley put the fire down and took him back to the base he became weak and wasn't seen for weeks.

The explosion burned off his lips. "It's like you're smiling all the time!" said Harley, but a smile doesn't mean nothing if you're smiling all the time. The other gang members began to suspect that Joker was dying, and he became paranoid that Harley was trying to take his place.

Harlequin spent the day on a mission to get Clay Face's "magical lotion" that would be able to cure Joker's face and maybe bring his hopes up. As soon as he got home, Joker shot him before he could say anything. He fell through the window and supposedly died.

Joker might have been physically weak at that point, but he was crazier than ever, his new plan would make sure no one in Gotham would defy him.

He kidnapped Robin, bleached his skin and cut off his brand new mask. Only after that he put an end to the young man's misery. Now wearing the face of Batman's sidekick, everyone in Gotham knew he shouldn't be messed with.

What he doesn't know, is that his actions to keep his position will ultimately bring his dowfall, as both Harley and the Robin will return one day to seek revenge against the Clown Prince of Crime.

[georgi-girl]

UglyDolls Movie Analysis.

Edit: added more content.

So, I wasn’t interested in UglyDolls when it first came out. I’d never heard of the toy line it’s based on and it looked like just another “beauty is on the inside” message cranked out by hypocritical Hollywood. But recently, I’ve finally got around to watching it and it’s not just about looks.

It’s about disability.

The movie takes place in an automated, possibly magical toy factory where different types of dolls are put together; pink rag dolls, grey teddy bears, red birds, and featureless humanoid fashion dolls known as “pretties”. Every toy is scanned and any one that has imperfections gets tossed down a shoot and sent to “Uglyville”. This is just like how disabled children are abandoned or killed by their parents when they’re born.

Uglyville is essentially a paradise with endless celebrations and all the junk food you can eat. The leader Ox (voice by Blake Shelton) tells everyone that the “Big World” of humans isn’t real, and everyone has pretty much lost interest in leaving. All except Moxie (voiced by Kelly Clarkson) a short and stumpy ragdoll who wants a human so badly, she runs away through the shoot, with her friends tagging along. Her friends include a grey blobby guy and a red bat. They end up with the pretties in the Institute of Perfection where the dolls are trained in surviving the Big World before going through a portal that sends them to their ideal child. This place is run by exposition bots and a scanner gate that assigns the dolls their appearance, name, and even careers. (Everyone is something slash model).

There, the Uglies meet Lou, (voiced by Nick Jonas) the most perfect doll and leader of the institute who tells everyone, through song, that being ugly is bad and that kids don’t want ugly toys. (Shows what he knows) They also meet Mandy, (voiced by Janelle Monae) the one doll who's nice to them and who hides the fact that she needs glasses. Tangent: I don’t know if it’s my place to say this since I’m white. It is so nice to see a black woman get portrayed as feminine and friendly and have her own character arc outside of helping the main character.

Anyway, Moxie and her friends stay, and Lou allows it, just to make himself look more benevolent. The dolls are trained to avoid getting messy or damaged (reasonable hazards for toys) and prepare for a real-world simulation called The Gauntlet. As hard as the Ugly dolls work, Lou keeps sabotaging them. He also sends a trio of girls to spy on Uglyville and kidnap Ox.

It turns out, Ox used to live in Perfection after landing there by accident. But he failed the program, learned that toys like them, rejects, are originally meant to end up in the recycling bin where they’re burned in the incinerator. Ox kept the ugly dolls sheltered in a place they’d never want to leave because he was afraid of them facing rejection. Thats also something lots of parents of disabled kids do. This news floors Moxie. She and the others never knew there was anything wrong with them. Not until it’s cruelty pointed out. As Lou tells her, “they were never meant to exist”. Eugenics much?

The uglies return to their home and break the news to the others. Everyone falls into despair; it’s one thing to never find your soulmate, it’s another to be told that nobody wants you. But then Mandy arrives, telling Moxie that she should run the gauntlet anyway because thanks to Moxie’s sweet affirmation, she feels encouraged to wear her glasses with pride. And they share a beautiful duet about how there will always be people who give who flack for being yourself, but you should be yourself anyway. There’s only so much you can do with the body you’re born with. And I love the trend of animated films saying that perfection is overrated. Encanto, Turning Red, the latest Trolls movie all have this message. And it’s good. Progress and self-betterment are great, but not when they come at a personal cost of conforming to someone else’s unreasonable standards. Moxies’ hope is restored. Just in time for Lou to have them both kidnapped and thrown in the incinerator. The other uglies save them, and they enter the gauntlet. Lou enters as well just to make sure they lose.

They have to go through life-size human house and dodge obstacles. At this point, I’m wondering who exactly is in charge of this toy factory and how they can afford all this crazy machinery.

While the pretty dolls focus on staying clean and looking out for themselves, the Uglies focus on having fun and being loving. They go back and help those who’ve fallen behind, they befriend the mechanical dog and mechanical baby they encounter. They choose to lose together rather than win alone. This ends up helping them pass in while Lou, who actually made it through the house, ends up failing.

While the audience isn't surprised by this, everyone else is. Perfect Lou failed at something. This triggers a breakdown in which Lou reveals that he isn't a real doll, he's a prototype. He can't leave the factory or be purchased by a child. Big kudus to whomever came up with this plot twist because this explains so much about Lous' character. Of course he's insensitive towards others. Of course he can't handle being played with. Whatever love-and-be-loved instinct the other dolls got, he didn't get it. But he still wants to go to the Big World. And that led him to resent the others, especially the Uglies, who can go through the portal despite their imperfections. In a way, Lou himself is disabled. But he could never admit it. And that's what leads to his downfall. He destroys the portal to the Big World and gets thrown in the very washer that he kept sending the Ugly Dolls to. A lot of fans are disappointed that he doesn't get redeemed in the end, I totally get that. But to be redeemed, you have to want to be redeemed. Lou just wanted everyone to forgive him immediately. Plus, he's still alive in the end, so his arc has an open ending.

The dolls work together to repair the portal, and set up a new system in which their communities live together and go back and forth through the portal so they can hang out whenever their humans are asleep.

And at the very last scene, Moxie meets her kid, a little girl with bad teeth like hers. Believe it or not, kids want disabled toys. There are Barbies with blindness and albinism, there are baby dolls with Downs Syndrome, there's and old man who crochets dolls with vitiligo patches. A girl in an online video painted a facial birthmark on her doll to match her moms' facial birthmark. I myself keep toys with missing limbs and chewed-up faces. Representation matters. And it's good that companies are finally acknowledging that. Even when they sometimes do a bad job at it.

It should also be noted that while the Pretties supposedly have it better, the Uglies live better, with a community that values joy and friendship and individuality. That really drives home the message that differences should be accepted and celebrated, not ignored of erased. (Just like that other animated musical starring Kelly Clarkson…)

One last thing, while the movie is officially the property of Universal, it was financed and worked on by two Chinese company. A movie about dolls, made in China. Brilliant.