Stay Alive. Stay Alive, For Me - fic
Characters: Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Titus and Alfred the cat
Summary: In which Damian is woken by a nightmare. But not his own.
A/N: Is this a weird prequel to ‘Wash Your Mouth Out’? Maybe. Inspired/title by: ‘Truce’ by Twenty One Pilots
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He was sleeping. It’d been an easy night, a simple night. Not many criminals, no injuries, not even any fights amongst the family. They went out, they came back, and the sleep came quickly. His dog was lying on his feet, his cat curled up next to his head.
Then his bedroom door was kicked open.
Titus started barking at the surprise, and Alfred jumped, accidentally clawing at Damian’s shoulder. He himself, in his attempt to roll over and see what was happening, got awkwardly trapped in his blankets and had to kick repeatedly to get himself free.
And underneath all the ruckus, Damian could hear heavy, panicked breathing.
But by the time he was able to sit up and see clearly, about three seconds later, his door had already been slammed shut again just as loudly, and he heard a heavy thump in the hallway.
Titus and Alfred had already abandoned him, running to the door themselves to make sure their boy was protected and no one tried again. Groggily, confused, he stepped out of bed to follow. As he stumbled across the floor, he heard voices and…and sobbing?
What?
Titus was scratching at the door now, whining slightly. So…it wasn’t a threat, then. Just a family member. As Damian pushed his pets out of the way and turned the doorknob himself, he made a mental checklist of who he knew to be in the house.
Father. Himself. Pennyworth. Grayson. Drake. Cain? Not sure.
But when he opened his door, the hallway was empty. Nothing was out of place, and there were no remnants of anything that had potentially fallen. He might have thought he dreamed the intrusion, if not for the reaction of his pets.
In fact, as soon as he opened the door, Titus has rushed out, nose to the ground, sniffing away. Alfred stayed against his leg, tail wrapped around his calf, even as he stepped forward.
He glanced down both directions of the hallway, and there was still no sign of a disturbance. He frowned. Maybe it was a dream…?
Then Alfred let out a light meow, nudging Damian in Titus’s direction. He looked, and saw that Titus had honed in on something, something that looked like a stringy glob of spit.
But before he could even contort his face in disgust, he heard the sound of a door elsewhere in the house…and the sounds of crying once more?
Alfred let out a little snorf, then began trotting down the hall, towards his Father’s study. Titus immediately followed after him, only stopping to make sure Damian was coming too.
Well, he was awake now with nothing else to do.
He yawned as he followed his animals, the muffled sound of crying and voices getting louder with every step. As they neared the study, Titus let out another little whine of sympathy. Damian could only tilt his head at him in curiosity.
The crying was clear now, and definitely coming from within the study. The voice murmuring under the sobs sounded a lot like Grayson.
Titus scratched once at the door, and Damian silently cracked it open.
The scene…wasn’t what he expected. Though, if he really thought about it, he didn’t know what he expected. None of the clues had added up to anything yet. So it was surprising, but wasn’t, to see that the sobbing was coming from one Tim Drake, collapsed on the center of the floor, a trashcan sitting within easy reach. Grayson was sitting behind him, wrapped around him like a blanket, letting Tim hide his face along his neck as he stroked calmly at his hair. His whispering was still indiscernible, but Damian thought he could pick up a few phrases like. “It’s okay, Tim. He’s okay. Everything’s okay.”
His father was in the room too, leaning back against his desk, donned in his soft robe with sleep-tangled hair. He, too, had been awoken by the situation, it seemed, and was watching over it like he did Gotham every night.
Or, at least. That’s what Damian assumed. But when he glanced up at his father’s face, all he found was a pair of bright blue eyes staring right back at him.
Oh.
Titus gave a little whimper, this time clearly for Bruce. Bruce glanced down at the dog, then back to Tim and Dick on the floor, then back to Damian. Silently, he held a single finger up, and beckoned Damian to come inside.
Damian bit his lip, but did as he was instructed, watching his father push off the desk as he opened the door. Grayson glanced up at the movement, and his eyes seemed to almost become sadder as he recognized Damian. Tim, eyes closed in his misery, didn’t notice a thing.
He stopped just inside the doorway, even as his pets rushed to Tim’s side. Bruce gave him a gentle smile and jerked is head towards the couch. Damian nodded awkwardly, trailing after the man as he moved that way himself.
“Deep breaths, Timmy.” Grayson hummed, leaning his head down to see the tear tracks he was attempting to wipe from Drake’s face. “You gotta keep breathing.”
Drake seemed to try, shaky breath sucking through trembling lips. But then he collapsed into coughs, and Grayson silently grabbed the trash bin and brought it closer.
Bruce gave a light grunt as he sat on the edge of the couch. Once he deemed himself settled, he exhaled, holding out his hand to Damian. “Here, son.”
Damian stepped closer to his father and, without warning, Bruce reached underneath his arms and lifted him to be sitting on his lap, but facing his brothers. As soon as he felt Damian was comfortable, he wrapped both arms around Damian, and leaned his chin on the boy’s shoulder. Damian silently leaned back into his father’s embrace.
Grayson just gave them a tired smile.
“Tim.” His father called gently. Tim squeezed his eyes even more tightly shut. “Tim, can you look at me?”
Tim tried to shake his head and hide in Dick’s chest.
“Please.” Bruce offered again. “It’s important. I promise.”
Tim let out another cough, even as Dick murmured into his hair that it was okay, he could trust Bruce. Slowly, he turned his head, letting his puffy red eyes crack open. Another weak breath shuddered through his nose.
“See?” Bruce asked, running a hand through Damian’s hair. “He’s here. He’s right here. Safe and sound.”
Damian caught Tim’s tears flowing faster before he covered his face with his hands.
“Are you sure?” Tim wailed, even as Dick tried to gently tug at his wrists. “Are you absolutely sure?”
“Absolutely.” Dick confirmed. “He’s right there, Tim. He’s okay. I promise.”
“If you’re fucking with me-” The sentence collapsed into another round of sobs and coughs.
Damian watched his brothers for a few seconds before twisting in Bruce’s arms. “Father?”
Bruce seemed to think for a moment, then let out a slow sigh. “Tim had a nightmare. A bad one.” A moment to choose his words carefully. “About you.”
“Me?” Damian’s stomach dropped. “What did I do?”
Because people had had dreams about him before. Dreams where he destroyed the world. Became a monster.
But Bruce gave him a smile, tucked a curl behind his ear. “Oh, sweetheart.” He murmured. “He had a dream that you were killed again, and when he woke up, he panicked.”
“That’s why you’re awake, isn’t it?” Grayson asked. Damian looked back at him. “You heard him come in your room?”
“That was him?” Damian asked.
Grayson nodded. “I heard your door, and when I came to check on you, he was back in the hallway, gagging on the floor.” Dick winced then, glancing to Titus. “Sorry I left the mess. I was hoping he hadn’t woken you, so I tried to get him out of there before you heard us. I’ll clean it up later, I promise.”
“I had heard your door crash open too, and was coming to investigate myself.” His father added. “But I ran into them just outside the study, and Tim was…well, is still inconsolable, so we brought him in here to calm down.”
Tim still wasn’t looking at him. Was, in fact, having a small battle with Titus, who was attempting to get behind his hands and lick his tears away. Alfred jumped onto the couch with Damian and Bruce.
“…But why?” Damian asked dumbly. “He wasn’t hit with any sort of panic-inducing toxin tonight, right?”
Dick snorted and shook his head. Bruce let out a little chuckle as he squeezed Damian a little tighter. “It’s because he loves you. And it would break his heart to see anything happen to you.”
“It was one of those dreams that feels real. You know the ones, kiddo.” Dick explained. Damian found himself nodding sympathetically, as his stomach churned. He did know those dreams, all too well. Had woken Grayson in their aftermath far too many times. “And when he woke up, he couldn’t discern dream from reality.” He glanced down. “Still can’t, I don’t think. But that’s just because he’s not awake enough yet, so the panic is overriding his brain.”
“…Oh.”
“Oh.” Dick laughed, then he glanced at Bruce. “Oh, he says, B.”
“Oh, indeed.” Bruce hummed.
“…Did he say how?” Damian asked quietly. It probably wasn’t the best to ask, but he would just blame his morbid curiosity. “I died, I mean.”
Dick twisted his lips. “Not directly. He just kept saying how there was a lot of blood, and that it wasn’t fair. Then he kept asking if it was real, because if it was, he didn’t know how he was going to keep going.” He frowned now. “He even told me he saw you in your bed, but he couldn’t tell if you were dead or not.”
“I moved.”
Dick shrugged. “He just couldn’t tell if it was real.”
“…Stop talking about me like I’m not here.” Tim croaked, hands still over is face. “I can hear you, you know.”
“Which means you can hear Damian, right?” Dick tried to tug at his wrists again, and won the battle this time. Tim let his hands drop to his lap, but kept is cheek smushed up against Dick’s chest. He eyed Damian suspiciously. “You waking up, Timbo?”
“…No.” He pouted. Then: “My stomach hurts.”
“Well, you’ve been dry-heaving for like ten minutes, so I imagine it does.” Dick laughed. Tim sighed and closed his eyes. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“What.”
“You can hear Damian, right?” Dick asked seriously, pushing Tim’s bangs off his forehead. “You know he’s here? He’s okay?”
Tim didn’t answer right away. Kept his eyes closed as he tried to restabalize his breath. Despite the fact his hands were now curled into Dick’s shirt as he accepted their older brother’s comfort, Damian could see his fingers still shaking in the fabric, and almost violently so.
“…He’s still scared.” Bruce whispered. “Losing you again is a scary thought, for all of us. A terrifying thought.” Suddenly he felt his father’s lips on his temple, a quick, nervous kiss. “It…lingers. For a while. Even when we know you’re okay.”
Damian leaned is head back to look at him. “You sound like you’re talking from experience.”
Across the room, Dick gave a knowing snort. Bruce just stared down at Damian with a smirk, and left another kiss on his forehead.
Damian hummed, raising his head to look back down at Tim. He’d released Dick’s shirt now, but had grabbed the trashcan once more. “Has Drake had this…situation before?”
“Not so obviously.” Bruce thought out loud. “He’s come to me about it before-”
“Me too.” Dick interjected.
“-but never…like this.” Bruce frowned, watching Tim. “It must have been really terrible this time.”
“Just nightmares about losing the family?”
“No. Just you.” Bruce sighed. “At least…ever since you died. Before, I think it was various friends and family and nightmares about losing them, but since you died, I believe it’s just been you.”
“But…that was years ago!”
Bruce gave him a grim smile. “And when the nightmares hit, they’ve just been about you for all this time.”
“…Never this bad.” Tim added himself, sounding almost confused. He still wasn’t looking at anyone. “I have never had a nightmare this…” He suddenly gagged and lurched forward, shoving his face into the bin. Dick cooed quietly at him, and returned to his previous gentle litany.
Tim heaved a few more times, and once Damian believed him finished, he silently slid off of Bruce’s lap.
(Alfred took his spot immediately.)
He crawled across the floor and sat at Tim’s side next to Titus, opposite the trashcan. He watched as his brother held his head in the can for a moment more, then let out a shaky sigh and leaned his forehead against the bin’s side.
Then he reached his hand out for Tim’s. His skin was freezing, fingers almost blue. “…I’m okay, Drake.”
Tim jumped in surprise at the touch, collapsing back into Dick’s chest. Dick just laughed at him.
“Believe them now?” Damian asked anyway, curling his fingers around Tim’s, just in case he tried to pull away. Tim didn’t, though. Just stared at him with wide, embarrassed, guilty eyes. “See? I’m right here.”
Titus leaned over and licked at his cheek, then shoved his head against Damian’s stomach, as if to prove his point. That Damian was still there, in the flesh. Alive.
“And anyway.” Damian added nonchalantly. “My death is nothing to make yourself sick over. Father or Grayson, perhaps, but mine is not important in the long-”
“Oh my god, shut the hell up.” Tim hissed even as he suddenly rolled forward and enveloped Damian in his arms. His hands still shook as he clawed his nails along Damian’s spine, but his breathing seemed to be calming down. Slowing.
Damian blinked in surprise, glancing at Dick. Dick just smiled at him as he gently rubbed at Tim’s back. After a moment to collect himself, he silently returned Tim’s embrace, curling into Tim’s chest.
“You’re not allowed to die, okay? Not before me. I’ve decided.” Tim spat, squeezing Damian as hard as he could. “That’s the rules.”
“Drake. I don’t think you can-”
“So promise me.” Tim whispered. “Promise me you won’t die.”
Damian just stared at Dick, whose face became sad once more. He twisted a little to look at his father, but he was now looking at the cat purring in his lap.
“Drake, you know I can’t-”
“Promise.” Tim ordered harshly. Then immediately, he deflated, leaning is weight on Damian. “…Please, Damian. Please promise.”
The shaking in Tim’s hands increased, just for a moment, like he was terrified Damian would say no, or laugh in his face. Or that maybe Damian would disappear, and this was all still part of the dream after all.
So instead, Damian just tightened his grip on his brother. “…Okay, Drake. I promise.”
Tim let out a tiny whimper. “Thank yo-”
“On one condition.”
Tim stiffened immediately, even as Damian pulled back to look into his face. His skin was an ugly mixture of gray and red this close up, and Damian was almost surprised Drake could keep his eyes open with how swollen they were.
“You can’t die either.”
Tim gaped for a moment, as Dick nodded behind him, murmuring to Bruce, “…Sounds like a good deal to me, don’t you think, Bruce?”
Their father grunted in agreement.
But Tim was able to collect himself, and let a smile melt on to his tear-stained face. He reached out to embrace Damian again, this time dragging him forward so they were both nestled in Dick’s arms. Dick didn’t let the opportunity go to waste, holding them both as closely as he could, as Bruce leaned back into the couch and watched them with a dreamy smile. Titus woofed happily beside them, attempting to like at both the younger boys’ faces at once.
“Deal, kid.”
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