#hes the bastard mascot of the show

[gatorgrumbles]

I swear he gets the shit beat out of him every time he’s on screen.

[the-goddess-of-mischief-writing]

Random Simon 'Ghost' Riley headcanons

sfw and nsfw

pairing: l.t. Simon 'Ghost' Riley x reader (cod mw)

tags/tw: domestic stuff, afab!reader, size!kink, dirty talk

a/n: and of course a few HC's for Ghostie as well🤭

Simon 'Ghost' Riley MASTERLIST

sfw

-you know those mascots in full-body costumes? Yeah, Ghost hates those, gets on edge each time he sees one. He just gets this uncomfortable feeling in his body bc why go around masked like that?

-yes, he's aware of the irony

-your first kiss, technically, happened with his mask on,

-he wanted to kiss you but wasn't ready to commit fully, showing you his face meant a lot and he wasn't there, yet, so he just kinda directed your face from the TV to him by your chin and pressed his lips to yours despite the clothing concealing them

-you don't scare easily, even if he would disagree, but when having a shadow the size of him creeping up on you silently, which should be physically impossible for someone his size, it always makes you jump

-Ghost enjoys it for some reason, always repressing a smile when you gasp and clutch your chest with a hissed 'Simon!' despising that you never got used to it

-what you don't know is that he actively makes it harder for you, always staying in your blind spot when coming up behind you, silencing his step just like he does on stealth missions

-standard case of you falling first but he fell harder, it was a slow endeavour getting to know him, even slower when you started dating and he demanded that things wouldn't be rushed, but once he opened up he was practically already in love with you considering he rarely did open up to people

-he doesn't like gifts

-contrary to what people think, it's not because he doesn't know how to react, closer to the truth is that he's picky and doesn't like random things coming in surprises

-that's why Ghost always keeps a list of things he wants or is in interested in buying, one that you have unaltered access to just to keep track if you ever feel like gifting him something for a special occasion or if other people come to you when he just won't answer what he wishes for read Soap

-the ONLY casual gift he doesn't mind is when you get him a book, within reason of course bc yeah, he likes to read

nsfw below the cut

-on the topic of books, he doesn't read romantic stuff, if it isn't a book you push into his hands, then he knows what's between the pages: raunchy ass stuff you more often than now want him to act out, leaving you nervously giggling and then panting when he fully went into the role of fucking you silly

-another thing about Ghost that people think, but is wrong, is that he always so reserved

-this man can run his fucking mouth when he wants to

-perhaps others just don't notice, because he doesn't do it with them, but when you're by his side his face is for the most part ducked in level with your ear, making it his mission to rile you up enough so you're the one who grits out 'we're leaving '

-and the cocky bastard knows he will manage too, your resolve wearing down quick when he whispers stuff like 'pretty necklace, lovie, would rather it was my hand wrapped around your throat' and if he manages to catch you off-guard with that, mouth agape kinda surprised, he'll muse 'pretty little mouth like that’ll send a man wild'

-in the Riley household, there's one particular rule: if you buy any piece of clothing, either online or in-store, you're going to model it for Ghost

-doesn't matter what it is, he's gonna sit down in the living room waiting for you to come out for him to drink in your pretty self

-he always twirls a finger in a sign for you to spin around, not because he has any sense of fashion more than the normal man, he just likes to see all how your clothes flatter your figure

-and if it just so happens you only bought a pair of pretty panties or a flattering bra, his rule applies to those too, with the addition you'll come out in only those

-and so help you, but if your tits are on display or that pretty cunt of yours bared, he will not only make you spin but curl his finger, beckoning you towards him

-usually ends with you in his lap as he either plays and sucks at your nipples or you grind against his growing bulge before riding him

-guilty pleasure of his? your obsession with his arms and tattoos

-when you first started seeing each other, he always noticed how your eyes strayed to the ink peeking forth from his long-sleeved clothing, when you both got more comfortable and you saw him without a hoodie constantly, the way you drooled at his bulging biceps made it difficult adhering to his own rule of things going slow

-in fact, the first time you slept together was a consequence of your intrusive thoughts winning during a cuddling session

-you'd been positioned in-between his legs, running your hand over his arm curled around your waist, gaze following those delicious lines running along his forearm and then you just... dragged your tongue over his bicep, licking a long wet stripe on the muscle that tensed upon feeling your tongue

-there was a rumble against your back and a 'what the fuck was that?' making you glance up at Ghost with a sheepish smile with some explanation he didn't fucking buy for a second

-it ended with the both of you kneeling on Ghost's bed as he fucked you from behind, his arms circled around your neck, your nails digging into his forearm, a moaning mess as if you didn't know he killed men just like this but in a tighter chokehold

-so that's why he always wraps his tattooed arm around your front when you cuddle with him behind you, most time also seating himself on your right side, offering you the opportunity to trace the intricate lines decorating his skin

[heartfullofleeches]

Hopping Ship

Yan Rival Restaurant Mascot + G.N Reader + Yan Restaurant Entities

Slow day....

Right in the middle of lunch hour too-

Scarce to see the restaurant so empty like this nowadays. After starting the new shift, you genuinely began to ponder if you'd finally lost your hearing due to the one-sided shouting matches from customers before realizing there had been a single since you clocked in and the silence surrounding you was very much real.

With so much free time, you finally got around to completing some tasks you'd be putting on the back burner for a while and a few you picked up while the janitor was out on personal business. They were gone every other week of the month, but you stopped wondering where they went after seeing them crawl into a black van one night after closing shit. It's impolite to watch coworkers who appear to be wearing your missing coat drag trash bags into unmarked vehicles after midnight.

You swept the floors, decorated the back office with some of the flowers the mascot left you and read a couple of their letters, created a sign out for the bathroom succubus to please at least put a towel beneath the door when she went on of her many "mandatory smoke breaks", and other duties which staked your claim as the establishment's most valued, living employee - all accommodating in the treat you rewarded yourself with once your break rolled around.

Sitted at the back of the fridge, behind the cooler you kept your gifted deer kidneys from the crying figure in the woods - a single fruit cup shined in all its syrupy glory. You tended to avoid eating coworkers food until their names appeared in the papers, but this little delight was stapled with a friendly letter for whoever came across it.

"For you~ (yes, the one reading this)"

That in itself should've been warning enough, but you were too hungry to care and not really in the mood for greasy fast food or ice cream from a bastard ghost. It was the perfect snack. Tiered with fruits representing all colors of the rainbow separated by rich, fluffy cream you assumed to be whipped frosting or some type of yogurt.

Snagging the cup and a spoon from the dispensery, you head back to the front to eat just in case anyone shows up. First bite in and you immediately notice something off about what you've just willingly ingested. What should've a sweet, succulent strawberry tasted exactly like strawberry cheesecake. The creaminess of its taste compared to its snappy texture threw you off entirely. You nibbled on an apple slice which tasted just like pie. Not exactly what you were going for, but you needed something on your stomach. Mindlessly chewing away, a faint hiss comes from beneath the counter.

"Psssst."

Must be another gas leak.

"Y/n - down here!"

You almost wish it had.

Peering underneath, you make contact with the frantic eyes of a former coworker. His face was caked in mud and his lips cracked from the clear signs of dehydration. You grab a cup of water from the soda machine which he near inhales, plastic and all. You take your seat back at the counter, poking around at your cup. "Hey, Noah. What happened to you last we I thought you the storyteller told you to go get lost in the forest and get eaten by bears."

"I was a boyscout growing up and all the predator animals in this area are dead. Get down - it'll see you!"

"What will?"

He tugs on your sleeve. "The rabbit thing that's been throwing everyone into that van! It's right outside!"

"Mm?"

Sucking a cube of peach cobbler off your spoon - you you peer outsife where another mascot stood - gloved hand extended a with flyer to the customer approaching the the door. The anthropomorphic rabbit was dressed in a red and white hybrid of a nurse gown and a 50s waitress outfit down to the pastel skates it wore on its large feet.. When the customer ignores the paper and went out of their way to walk around the strange figure, the creature dropped the flyer as it clasped its hand around their neck and hurls them into the open van beside it. Slamming the door on their ankle - the rabbit suddenly bends backwards with an audible crack facing the register as its ears dangle at its feet, waving at you with its Cheshire grin. You chase a grape around the container with your spoon.

"They seem friendly."

Noah pulls harder on your clothes. "Quiet! We need to call the police."

"Mmm... nah, they never respond to any of our calls anyway."

He groans into his hands. "Ughh- Ojay, we'll figure something out - just, don't make look that thing in the eye.

Bit too late for that.

The rabbit mascot had scaled the restaurant floor in about the same time it too you to swallow the bland frosting that served as a palate cleaner for the tooth rotting sweetness. It contorts to match your height, button nose inches from yours.

"Hello, hello, he-llo - where have you been hiding?~ I was looking for you. "

".... Hey, Noah? Can you actually try the police to see if they'll show up this time?"

The rabbit chuckles. "Funny too. I knew you were a catch from the second I laid eyes on you. That's why I had to make sure our first meeting was special and there were no..." Its eyes fall to the counter." prying eyes... Anywho! Did you enjoy the fruits I left for you?"

You shrug, mouth full of sugary melon. "I guess."

"Fantastic! Those at my establishment prioritize a healthy, and tasty lifestyle. I certainly hope you don't mind us treading on your territory, but it was the only spot in town fit for our dream. If all things go according to plan, you won't have to worry about the competition at all! Onto my big question - would you care to join our team? An experienced crewmate like yourself is just what we need and if you start this afternoon - I'll even make you manager! Even deal, wouldn't you say?"

"....not really."

"Great!-...." Its ears fall flat against its skill. I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I kinda like it here. Bring manager sounds like I'd have to do more work than I do now, and the the ball pit is a big factor to why I stay.

Soft clapping sounds from the play area. Confused, he mascot looks between your face and your half eaten cup. "Are you sure?"

You shrug again. "Pretty sure I am."

"Maybe take another bite and think about it harder?"

LYou shove the remaining bits of fruit in your mouth, using the time to chew as your grace period. "Positive."

"I see...." The rabbit's whiskers twitch as it snaps back to full height, spinning on their wheels towards the door. "No matter. I will be back for you another day with an offer you won't be able to refuse. Until then."

You look at the floor as they skate away. "I think it's leaving, Noah.... Noah?"

"Help me!"

You glance back up in time to see Noah being dragged outside and flung into the van as his captor grumbles something about just using sleeping pills next time. You official cross him off the schedule as you throw the cup away.

"If they'd just offer me their skates - I probably would've said yes."

You lick the spoon clsan as the ice cream machine whirls to life.

"Cheater!"

"Oh shut up."

[everlastlady]

Bloody Legend: Mammon X Reader

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✰- Author's Note: Someone onced asked once the new episode of Helluva Boss was dropped, would I write Mammon content. Well here is some angst filled Mammon content depending how this goes there might be a part 2 with a happy ending. I have to say, I and absolutely enjoyed the new episode yesterday. Especially Mammon is a character that you can hate or love. I have mix feelings about him because I relate to Fizzarolli, but I did enjoy Mammon being a greedy, egotistical, and controlling bastard. But for those who want to get jiggy with Mammon, here is your food. Remember to eat a meal or a snack, drink some water, get some fresh air, take your medicine, and remember that you are loved. If you loved this story remember to comment, click or tap that heart button, reblog with tags, and blaze if you can. Always remember to support your local writers. ♡♡♡

✰- Story Contains: Controlling Mammon, Angst, Mammon being mentally abusive, Striker, Verosika Mayday, Gender Neutral Reader, Some Wholesome moments, hazbin easter egg & Spoilers from the new episode so read with caution.

✰- Word Count: None today, I'm writing this in Tumblr mobile app.

✰- Posted: 10/30/2023

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Mammon was absolutely pissed how things ended at the show. How his cash cow Fizzarolli sung that song, if anyone sang it around him. He would squish them like a bug without hesitation. Mammon was loosing money because Fizzarolli quit, no one was being the merchandise and especially the sex dolls. The papers talked about what was going on and Mammon was hoping that Asmodeus was regretting revealing that he loves Fizzarolli, but no it seems everyone and the media was eating it up like some cheesy love story. Mammon couldn't even hire the twins because they ended up in the hospital in comas after what happened to them at the show. He needed a new cash cow and he couldn't hold another clown off because no one would buy the tickets. He felt frustrated and lost, until he met you.

You were a comedian in the Wrath Ring while Mammon was visiting he came across you in the run down comedy club. He saw that the crowd adored you. How you made people spit with laughter, cry from laughter, or even die. Even your jokes matched your looks in which in his mind you look absolutely stunning. He thought you were too good for this place way to good. He could offer you a better deal, a better life, and so much fame and fortune. So after the show he went to your dressing room. You were surprised to see the king of greed in your dressing room. It was quite scary because of how big and intimidating he was. " (Y/N)! Finally nice to meet ya! " He exclaimed in a large smile while looking down at you. He thought it was cute how nervous you were how, you almost fell over trying to bow to him. The way you stumbled over your words. Usually he hated people who stumbled with your words; but when you did it. It was cute.

Mammon finally convinced you to leave this shithole comedy club and become his mascot. He talked about all the fame and fortune he could give you. This made you feel over the moon because you always wanted to be famous but also support your mother who has been taking care of you ever since your father walked out on you both. So you agreed to become Mammon's new clown face. Mammon felt happy; he would soon be making money and he especially had you. Mammon did as promised. You had fame and fortune. You even were able to get your mother a beautiful big home with maids, butlers, and anything she desired. Mammon could see how you cared for your mom so he made a mental note of that.

You were making Mammon so much money. You also had many fans. You loved your fans but the creepy ones always made you uncomfortable. You would tell Mammon about who would tell that's just show business that you are bound to have creepy fans. " Don't worry that just means you are doing an amazing bloody job! The creepier ones spend the most money. But don't worry they won't touch ya. You are tough so please don't disappoint me, mate, you do wanna continue to support me and you, especially your mum? Think about your poor mum and all she went through on those streets to support you (Y/N) " Mammon said while putting on a pretend frown and fake sadness in his voice. This made you feel guilty for complaining, Mammon waa right with popularity in show business comes creepy fans and you wanted to continue to give your mom the prefect life style.

After that conversation you noticed that Mammon got four hellhounds to always escort you everywhere. Anytime a creepy fan came up. They were always thrown, bit, or pounded it into the ground. This eased your anxiety a bit but also made you a bit annoyed because not only are they your body guards. But they choose what you ate, who you talked with, and your schedule. You tried to address Mammon about this but he said. " They are just making sure that you stay fit it's good that you do or else your fans will leave you, you also need a great social status so you'll be meeting with Verosika Mayday soon, and the schedule just helps get things in order. I don't want to hear anymore complaints from you, you're a bloody legend (Y/N) so act like it... " He would dismiss you and go back to counting his money.

Mammon wanted to boost your social status, so you were set to perform at a popular restaurant in the Pride Ring. You were going up after some radio demon called Alastor. " I'm not sure why you brought me here. " Striker grumbled to his girlfriend Verosika. " Oh, calm down it's been a while since we had a date night. " Verosika said while fixing her dress. " Date night? This is barely a date night you have meeting with that big ass Christmas tree Mammon and his little sellout puppet. " Striker said while fixing his tie. " Still a date night so please behave for me~ " Verosika would bat her eye lashes as Striker sighed. " Yes darlin' " Striker said. Verosika had started dating Striker a long time ago the two met in a bar and ordered the same drink that one drink turned into several the two on their drunken rant discovered they both hate i.m.p especially Blitzø what became a beautiful start of friendship turned into romance. So here the two sat at the large table with Mammon. Verosika and Mammon drinking and laughing while talking about show business. Striker just drank his whiskey while munching down on a steak, even though he hated fancy places like this, he had to admit the steak was good.

As you perform on stage, Mammon seemed delighted at your performance but Verosika and Striker could tell something was off about you. The two exchanged looks, Verosika clears her throat. " Is (Y/N) ok? They look sickly and exhausted. " Verosika said to Mammon. The greed lord looked at Verosika. " Yeah yeah, (Y/N) that's just their make-up and they are just nervous. " Mammon laughed nervously, he'll have to talk with you later. Striker could smell bullshit from a mile away. " Always trying to make a profit off my kind. Do they even want to be up there, I know what make-up is and that isn't make up you piece of- " Before Striker could finish his sentence. Verosika shoved a piece of steak in Striker's mouth and laughed nervously. " Ignore him, he's had too much to drink. " Verosika said glaring at Striker. Who was choking on the steak but managed to sallow. " It's good, I'm sure that your little boyfriend just jealous of (Y/N), they choose to be on stage. (Y/N) always pushes their self to work hard even when not feeling well, I beg them to rest but they don't listen. They just love making me money and supporting their poor mum. " Mammon said the last part dramatically.

Striker never really cared about anyone besides his horse Bombproof and his girlfriend Verosika. So after your performance he was determined to meet you. So after Verosika and Mammon went off to talk. He decided to prove what Mammon was spitting about you at the table was bullshit. He found his way into the dressing room and saw you throwing up into a trash can and shaking with chills. He snatched a blanket off the couch and quietly walked over to you and drapped it over your shoulders. You turned around thinking it was one of your bodyguards but jumped seeing it was some imp in western attire. You tried to scream because you thought it was another creepy fan but Striker covered your mouth. " I'm not going to hurt you and I'm not a creepy fan, I actually don't give two shits about you. I just want to ask you some questions so can you give me some answers alright? " Striker asked. You slowly nod your head as Striker pulled away his hand. " Are you happy and doing okay working for Mammon? "

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Let me know if you guys want a part 2 because this is fun to write again depending how this goes. It can turn to Mammon X Reader or Striker X Reader X Verosika. Or even Mammon X Reader X Verosika X Striker. Depending on what y'all want just let me know and feel free to share ideas. Also let me know if y'all want Alastor to make another appearance.

[new-revenant]

dp x dc au in which the Justice League finds out about the Red Huntress and not Danny Phantom first. Like, let’s say some cultists are trying to summon the Ghost King if you like that. The League-or perhaps another superhero group like the Teen Titans or Young Justice or just one superhero like Shazam-and when the cultists are about to succeed, Val shows up guns blazing, screaming, “I will not let summon that rat bastard!” or something. And she quickly gets knocked off her hoverboard by one of them, but she and the other superhero(s) there manage to stop them.

The heroes are like, “Who are you? Why did you come here? What are your connections to the Ghost King? Are you a ghost?” Yadayada, stuff like that. Val, who I like to hc that she knows next to nothing about superheroes, is just like, “Oh, I’m the Red Huntress and I’m just a ghost hunter. The Ghost King ruined my life and I plan to ruin his afterlife. That’s all!” The heroes try to ask more questions, but then Val says, “Oh no! It’s almost my curfew! Gotta go, I’ll see you later!”

Then they find Val somehow and want to recruit her, just in case more people want to summon the Ghost King or for help with any other ghost related things. Val accepts as long as she gets paid enough money to not have to work as the Nasty Burger mascot.

And when they find out about Phantom, they all assume he and Val have this rivalry at first-if Val doesn’t say he’s supposed to be the ghost king. If she does, they then meet Phantom and he’s just like, “hello friends :D” and is just in awe over the superheroes, who are just super confused.

If the heroes try to look into Val and the people closest to her, Danny(just Danny not Phantom) will walk up to them and straight up threaten them. And scar them for life with his ‘uncanniness.’ “Red your boyfriend is an eldritch monster,” they say to Val, “Oh yeah, it’s just the ecto-contamination, he won’t actually do anything :D,” she reassures them.

None of the heroes can get a goodnight’s sleep for a week after first meeting Danny. They are all worried for Val’s wellbeing.

[sanjisboyfie]

๑ keep safe : see you later, vivi! (20)

one piece x male reader

if he's a serial killer,

then what's the worst thing that can happen to a girl,

who's already hurt?

i’m already hurt.

if he’s as bad as they say,

then i guess i’m cursed.

looking into his eyes, i think he’s already hurt.

he’s already hurt. ​​​

『 prev 』

[name] was flying. that was the last thing he remembered, as well as the bright sky above his head. but when he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was a dark ceiling.

then he began hearing the snores around him.

he blinked slowly, wondering where he was. but when he looked to the corner of his eyes and saw luffy’s tuft of black hair, he didn’t think twice in closing his eyes and going back to sleep.

he smiled to himself, reminding himself to apologize to vivi when he woke up. after all, he didn’t get to kill the warlord like he had promised her. instead he left that to luffy.

vivi had herself sitting in between [name] and luffy the whole time they were sleeping. the others had gotten up the next day. and after the treatment chopper and vivi had done for them, they were feeling much better.

it took [name] two days to wake up with enough energy. the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was chopper.

“ah, what a cute mascot we have!” [name] smiled, sleep still in his system.

at the sound of his voice, chopper whipped his head around to look at him and jumped on him immediately.

“[name]!!! you’re awake!” the doctor cried, suffocating [name] with his plush body completely covering [name]’s face. “i was so worried!!” just as [name] was going to comfort the worried chopper, the doctor’s personality did a complete switch. and instead of being worried, he was angry at [name], “there was a bullet lodged right in your stomach, asshole, why didn’t you say anything! you were running around with an open wound, you could've died of blood loss!

“not to mention — if pell hadn't caught you do you realize you'd be dead?! falling from such a height!! not to mention that you weren't completely immune to the explosion either! you're lucky you have no scorch marks!!”

“what's another scar on my body, anyway?” [name] pouted, crossing his arms and looking down at his bandages in interest, “oops, i think i opened the stitches by accident…” the blood was beginning to leak to the surface which made him hum in confirmation, “yep, i surely did!”

“the scars aren't the point! and bastard!!! i’ll kill you for re-opening your wounds!” chopper said, charging at [name] with more wraps of white bandages, “just stay still and listen to doctor's orders!”

“ah, tony-kun, i think we should ease up on the yelling…[name], might not be completely-”

“vivi!!” [name] shouted, outstretching his hands to grab her wrist. chopper jumped aside, huffing with his entire chest in annoyance at [name] who was ignoring his screams.

the rough pull to her wrist made her stumble forward and into [name]’s bandaged, and bleeding, chest.

“sorry, vivi,” he apologized immediately, holding her tight as his chin rested on top of her head, “i wasn’t able to take care of crocodile like i promised. do you think any lowly of me because of that?”

there was silence and soon the only sound in the room was vivi’s whimpers and cries. [name] said nothing and kept smiling at the girl in his arms, squeezing her tight to comfort her.

“[name], thank you,” she cried, lifting her head to show her teary eyes and trembling expression, “if it weren’t for you, pell and this entire country would have been done for!! thank you so much!!”

[name] laughed at her gratitude, the sound of his laughter only sending her into a deeper crying state. chopper sighed, shaking his head at [name]’s manners before leaving the room to grab vivi a glass of water.

“so pell is alright?” [name] asked, scooting backwards on the bed so he could rest his back against the frame. it also made more space for vivi to sit. but instead, she stood up and took ahold of one of the bandage wrappings chopper left behind.

“he’s alright, he’s quite angry with you though, last i checked,” she chuckled, flinching when she felt [name]’s hands wipe the tears away from her cheek.

“and you’re okay?” he asked her gently, holding her face in his palm, “there anything else i need to do to make sure your job as princess is easier?”

vivi shook her head.

the strawhat crew were never going to be forgotten, she’d assure that.

he chuckled at her actions, lightly tapping her cheek with his palm before letting his arm fall.

”i never met any princess before, vivi, but no matter who i meet i doubt they’ll be a better person than you,” he complimented sincerely, resting his hand on top of hers, “your courage is honorable. you’ve saved this country just as much as luffy has,”

she bit her lip, scolding herself for wanting to cry again. [name] noticed it too, laughing to himself, “but you sure are a professional at worrying! c’mon, princess, the people can’t have a leader as emotionally driven as you!!” he teased, obviously joking.

she rolled her eyes, unwrapping the sullied bandages off of his chest. she frowned seeing the scar from where he was shot. it was on his lower abdomen and currently seeping with blood. she disinfected the area quickly, [name] not even flinching at the alcohol being put to his wound, and then wrapped it once more. the entire time she worked she tried to ignore [name]’s e/c eyes watching her.

then she lifted her hand to flick him on the forehead. seeing as she couldn't "harm" any other part of his body without the risk of worsening his injuries.

his injuries…it seemed that it was the only thing she could see. she didn't lift her head once to look into his eyes.

when he noticed a pained look on her face, he moved his fingers to be underneath her chin and made her look at him.

“what’s wrong, vivi?”

she shook her head, lip quivering as she denied to speak her thoughts. [name] didn’t push for answers, instead holding her once more and rubbing up and down her back to comfort her.

“i just think…you’d make a great knight, [name],” she broke the silence, burying her head into his chest. [name] didn’t reply, only looking down at her in confusion. “you've been protecting me since we've met and you've protected this country. despite my attitude to you in the beginning, you've been nothing but kind. thank you so much,”

the two laid there in silence and [name] thought vivi had possibly fallen asleep. but when he moved to lift her up and put her in the bed beside him, so she could be most comfortable, she had stopped him.

”let’s just rest,” she breathed out, falling limp in his arms.

and he wasn’t going to deny her of sleep, so he moved her to be next to him and pulled the blanket over them. he fell back asleep rather easily, his breathing evening out in a matter of minutes.

when chopper came back into the room, he sighed at the two. as a doctor, he was really worried for [name]’s health. but as his friend, he was even more scared. [name]’s condition when pell flew  him to them, they really thought he was done for.

his body was bleeding from almost every crevice and chopper knew blood transfusions were out of the question for [name]. how [name] sufficed such tremendous and dangerous wounds and survived was a mystery. perhaps it had to do with his blood, but genuinely, chopper had no idea. there could be numerous theories he could come up with, but the only real answer would be from [name] himself. 

or...[name] could have a case of recovering freakishly quickly for no apparent reason, something both zoro and luffy both had as well. 

either way, it was something that intrigued and confused chopper at the same time. but if [name] was going to start getting into life threatening situations then it’d be a real cause for concern instead.

he shook his head multiple times, ridding himself of those depressive thoughts and simply climbed up to the foot of the bed. he was planning on just monitoring [name]’s condition, but he soon felt himself getting sleepy too.

then all the bodies laying on the bed were sleeping, luffy resting in the bed next to them.

after another night of recovery, luffy finally woke up. this called for celebration from everyone. a feast was to be had later that night. the moment [name] saw that luffy was up and healthy, he went over to his bedside and immediately smothered him.

luffy grinned, “[name]!! i haven’t seen you in so long,”

“yeah, yeah,” [name] said, nuzzling his face into luffy’s shoulder, “but y’know…i’m angry at you,”

“angry?! why? what’d i do?!” luffy asked with a pout and a whine in his voice.

“you didn’t let me land a single hit on crocodile, you asshole!” [name] shouted before biting into luffy’s rubbery shoulder.

a yowl was released immediately at the action, “hey, hey, hey!!! that hurts, knock it off, bastard!” [name]’s teeth were still digging into the flesh. he pulled his head back, making the skin of luffy’s shoulder stretch. “that hurts a lot! stop it!!”

[name] only grunted in response, not letting his jaw relax.

the rest of the crew watched with deadpan expressions as [name] attached himself onto luffy like a backpack as their captain ran around the room, begging for mercy.

“[name]! quit it!” luffy shouted in frustration, grabbing and slapping [name]’s face in annoyance, “it’s not my fault you couldn’t take care of him yourself! bleh!!” luffy’s tongue stuck out in a taunting manner at [name], which the man didn’t appreciate at all.

“i’ll kill you luffy!” [name] rung his hands around luffy’s neck, shaking him back and forth as he cut off the rubber man’s air supply.

”both of you, enough!!” chopper said, turning into his large form and wrangling [name] off of luffy, holding the two apart as if they were two cats fighting and clawing at each other. the two still tried attacking each other, kicking and punching the air, with sharp teeth barred at each other.

the rest of the crew only sweat dropped at their behavior, internally sighing in relief to see that neither of them had changed after their life-threatening injuries.

the room stayed as chaotic as it could be with an energetic luffy and [name] practically bouncing off of the walls. and it stayed like that until they were called down for their celebration feast.

the crew looked at each other in fear the moment they stepped into the room, hearing the hungry stomachs of luffy and [name] bubbling in anticipation. after seconds of sitting down, the food was presented to them.

[name] and luffy were the main ones who were eating as if their lives depended on it. the captain would use his devil fruit to his advantage, continuously stretching and stealing food off of other people’s plates then shoving it into his mouth before they’d be able to fight back.

[name] on the other hand was consuming things the moment they were set down on the table, not giving the others a single chance to take a piece. sometimes he’d haphazardly throw meat onto one of their plates, but that’d be because he’d take the rest of the food off of the dish and swallow it whole.

“we’ve got a lot, so-” vivi was cut off when [name] shoved noodles into her mouth and grinned as he ate from the same dish.

“ish sho good, ife neba hat noodwes like fis!!” he said, as if anybody could understand what he was saying. he swallowed his noodles, eyes glowing with stars, “wait! wait! wait! let me try your alabasta coffee! it’s gotta be good, huh?! get me coffee, please!” he shouted at no one in particular.

after a couple of minutes of waiting, a freshly brewed cup of hot, black coffee was placed in front of him. he ate a handful more dishes, to give it some time to cool off, before chugging it all down in one go.

tears filled his eyes as he cried for a refill, “it’s all so yummy!”

soon, the entire dining room was filled with laughter. the guards around them couldn’t hold back cackling at their rambunctious behavior and the strawhats themselves were laughing as chopper and usopp both got onto the table and started dancing.

it took a while for them to finish eating, mainly because of luffy and [name], but when they were done eating the most lavish meal of their lives — they were escorted to the bathing house.

[name] had a small towel wrapped around his waist, taking in a deep breath of the relaxing scent that was all around them. then his grin turned devilish as he grabbed ahold of luffy and usopp by their necks.

“hey, hey! no running, we’re gonna crash!” usopp shouted, slapping at [name]’s arm that was practically choking him. luffy didn’t complain though, clapping his hands and cheering as [name] ran.

“let’s go for a swim!!” [name] shouted, throwing the two of them forward and into a deep pool of water that was coming from the grand fountain. when he saw luffy and usopp crash in, he threw off his waist towel and followed soon after. he created a huge splash that soaked almost everyone near them.

“idiot! act more mature!” sanji shouted from the sidelines, his face now drenched with water, “also you guys are disgusting! this is a bath, not a pool!”

“sanji, come on, join us,” [name] said, resting his cheek on his palm. he was propped up against the marble wall that encased the pool of water they were in, a smirk on his lips. “or should i come over there and make you?”

sanji’s eye twitched at the invite, “don’t use that tone with me, shit for brai-”

he couldn’t finish his sentence as [name] was already jumping out of the water and running over to him. sanji’s eye locked in on [name]’s and he visibly cringed as he realized he couldn’t run. and in seconds, he was thrown into the pool of water that usopp and luffy were swimming in.

“zoro!!” [name] shouted, running to his next victim.

“hey, you can’t! i’m washing chopper, so-”

“zoro and chopper!!” [name] corrected, not stopping in his pursuit of collecting the two. he ran over with impeccable speed, throwing the duo in with the rest of the crew. chopper sputtered out water as he reached the surface and zoro simply leaned on his elbows, his hands planted on the bottom of the bath, and spat out a fountain of water from his mouth, a disgruntled look on his face.

[name] grinned, properly joining all of them and grabbing ahold of some of the shampoo and conditioner, “who’s going first?” he invited, showing his lathered hands.

”me! me! me!” luffy shouted, splashing his way over to [name] and sitting in front of him, presenting his hair to be washed.

[name] grinned, leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss on luffy’s cheek before going to wash his hair. luffy giggled at the action, closing his eyes in bliss.

he made sure to massage his scalp, to relax him further. and it worked seeing as luffy completely folded into [name]’s torso in a matter of seconds. after washing out the shampoo and conditioner from luffy’s head, [name] worked on scrubbing his back.

he’d prod and poke at luffy’s flesh every now and then to tickle him, making the captain whine and then laugh.

“alright, you’re all done! who’s next?” [name] invited once more. luffy shot up from his spot in front of [name] and took a position standing behind him. when [name] looked at him in confusion, the ravenette only grinned as he too now had shampoo lathered in his hands.

“i’ll wash your hair, [name]!” luffy proudly declared, making [name] smile in thanks. usopp took a seat in front of [name] and soon a train of washing hair had started. the sniper didn’t hide how vocal he was about the pleasant sensation of [name]’s hands washing his head, making [name] laugh.

“damn, [name]! you’re really good!!” usopp said with a look on his face that screamed pure relaxation, “we gotta take more baths together, i think i’d sleep like a baby every night if i got this treatment on merry,” he drawled on, his eyes shut as if he were about to go to sleep.

[name] worked his hair through usopp’s curls for a little while longer, moving onto conditioning, before announcing that the man was done and clean. usopp shouted his thanks, a pure smile on his face. [name] brought water up to his hair to wash out the product, sighing in delight at the relaxing temperature of the water. 

after luffy and usopp were finished, [name] went over to zoro and roughly took ahold of the short green hair.

“i’m plenty capable of washing myself, no thanks!” zoro rejected, going to move from [name] and to somewhere more secluded, but [name]’s hands firmly planted themselves on his shoulders.

“nope, not taking that as an answer,” [name] grinned, already working his hands through zoro’s short hair, “come on, i’ll give you a massage too,”

zoro groaned, his bottom lip jutting out as his eyes squinted in annoyance. first he was annoyed that [name] insisted on washing him, but now he was annoyed at how good it felt. [name]’s fingers gently washed his hair and massaged his scalp. and then when it finally came to washing down his back, his touch turned firm and completely relaxed his strained muscles.

not to mention, the warm water around them almost made him knock out into a deep sleep right then and there. [name] had his tongue pocking out in concentration, digging his fingers into a particular knot in zoro’s back.

he was humming to himself without realizing it and that’s when zoro really thought he’d fall asleep by accident. the low hum of [name]’s voice, the strong hands massaging his back, and the warm body heat that they were radiating off of each other.

the only reason why he didn’t knock out right then and there was because there was a sudden loud crash coming from behind the two. both him and [name] looked over and saw that half of them were laying down flat on their face. sanji even had a stream of blood coming from his nose.

[name] sighed, putting two and two together, reminding himself to lecture them later for peaking in on the girls. he was too busy scrubbing into zoro’s back that he couldn’t be bothered with it right now.

when the perverts of the bath house finally collected themselves, [name] was sitting in front of zoro and the swordsman was roughly washing him now.

“gentle, zoro, how many times have i told you i’m a sensitive man?!” [name] scolded, slapping zoro’s arm with his towel.

“shut up, i’m not even scrubbing that hard!” zoro shouted in return, but he did let up a very little bit. his eyes scanned over [name]’s muscular back, taking in the sight of [name]’s tattoo. the man in front of him had a very objectively nice figure. his shoulders were wide and his waist was slim. the tattoo on his back only seemed to pronounce these two features. 

zoro coughed at the sight, averting his eyes and quietly telling [name] he was done. [name] sighed in thanks, turning around and leaning on the marble walling of the bath. the two were now facing each other, [name] with a pleasant smile on his lips whilst zoro did anything but look at the said grinning man.

“thank you,” were the king’s words to break the silence. everyone looked at him, eyes widening just a tad when they saw him begin bowing his head down at them, “thank you for saving this country,”

“hey, hey, is it okay…for a king to do such a thing…?” zoro asked slowly, looking at the king who was still bowing down to them.

“this is a serious incident, king cobra! a king should never bow their head to anybody,” igaram said, the blonde looking worried at the king’s actions.

“igaram, authority is something you wear over your clothes. but we’re in the bath, there isn’t such a thing as a naked king,” [name] chuckled at the metaphor, looking at the king in interest. “i’d like to thank you from the bottom of my heart, as a father and as a resident of this land. thank you very much, i really appreciate it.”

luffy laughed his trademark laugh, eyes turning into crescent moons as his pearly whites were on display. the rest of the bath was turned peaceful, a drastic difference from when they first entered.

[name] was mellowed out, having a towel rest on top of his eyes and forehead to cool himself off. he almost fell asleep if it weren't for luffy bouncing over and jumping onto his chest.

“let’s go, [name]! we've been in here for too long! we gotta get dressed snd go now!” he said cheerfully, hugging himself deep into [name]’s torso. [name], used to the man’s close contact, nodded his head in understanding and stood the both of them up.

he had his hands resting underneath luffy’s thighs, carrying him as if he were a baby. the captain at least had some decency to put a towel on over his waist. shamelessly, though, he grinning like a kid who just won candy.  it was obvious luffy had no problem latching onto [name]’s figure and using him as a personal transport.

trusting that the grip luffy had around his waist and neck would be enough to keep him upright, [name] removed his hands from luffy's thighs to tie his own towel around his waist. they met up with the others in the changing room. [name] put on a black set of robes that were set out for them.

luffy got dressed in his own attire as well, but jumped right back onto [name]’s back once they were both wearing clothing. they returned back to the grand room where they were settled down for a conversation on when to leave. luffy rested his chin on top of [name]’s head, legs around his torso to prop himself up to that height. 

“we should be ready to leave by tonight,” nami said first, looking around the room for reactions. [name] agreed, for the most part everyone else did too.

“alright, let’s leave after we eat some more delicious food!” luffy said, completely missing the point. [name] slapped his cheek harshly, clicking his tongue in annoyance.

”no, we leave tonight, right now,” usopp shouted.

“yeah, if we have no other reason to be here, it’s best to leave as soon as possible,” zoro chimed in.

[name] carefully watched vivi’s expression, frowning when he saw her lip quivering as if she were about to start crying. just as he was about to say something to her, a royal guard entered the room and was carrying a den-den mushi for them.

“someone named bon-chan wants to speak with you,” he said to the straw hats, hesitance in his voice.

“who the hell is bon-chan?” the crew echoed in confusion, not recalling anybody with a name like that.

“but he insists he’s your friend, so…” the guard continued, holding the transponder snail out to them.

sanji was the one who got up, picking up the receiving end and immediately an irritating voice filled the room, “hello? hi there!”

and then their line of the transponder snail was immediately slammed down to hang up. the ones who had interacted with the caller all cringed in distaste. it only started ringing again the moment the call ended, earning angry glares from sanji and [name].

luffy stretched and took the snail, picking it up and speaking in a defiant tone, “huh, it’s you! what do you want from us?!”

[name] looking at the snail that mimicked the caller’s expression, grimacing as he could imagine the man spinning around in his pretty ballerina costume as he spoke into the den-den mushi.

“oh? that voice! it must be straw hat-chan! you really surprised me, y’know? you’re so strong!” the voice complimented, making [name]’s look of disgust only deepen.

“what do you want from us, mr. 2?” [name] asked in a deathly serious tone, glaring at the snail.

“no! no! don’t call me mr. 2, yeow!” the voice cried out, panic evident in his voice, “if this signal is caught by the navy, we’ll be in trouble!”

“what do you want from us.” [name] repeated, more stern this time to get to the point.

“oh, i took your ship!”

“that’s not funny!!” zoro, nami, and chopper cried out in unison.

“you bastard! this isn’t a joking matter! tell us where you are right now!” usopp said, pointing a finger at the snail in anger. like the other three, his teeth were barred and sharp as well.

“on your ship!”

“don’t fuck around right now, bon-chan,” [name] spoke in a taunting tone, “we both know what i’ll do to you if you lay a hand on merry!”

“no, no! it’s not like that, geez!” bon clay cried out, “we’re friends, right? i’m waiting for you guys at the upper reaches of the sandora river! but you have to hurry, i don’t know how long i can be here for before the navy finds it!!”

[name] grit his teeth, hanging up the snail and looking at the rest of the crew.

“now, what?”

they all looked conflicted, eyebrows furrowed in thought. they all decided that it’d be better if they left right away, not wanting to leave merry in the care of a past enemy as well as the fact the navy could find it at any second.

the crew began moving, [name] equipping himself with his sword and making sure that the cloth around his wrist was securely tightened.

”everyone…” vivi lowered her head as they all stared at her, waiting for her to continue, “what…should i do?” she softly asked, tone wavering.

a silence passed over all of them before nami spoke up, “listen well, vivi. we’ll give you 12 hours. once we take our ship back at the sandora river, we’ll draw the ship near the eastern harbor just once at exactly noon tomorrow. we probably won’t be able to anchor. if you want to continue traveling with us, that moment is the only chance to come aboard. if that happens, we’ll welcome you…though you’ll become a pirate!”

vivi blinked several times at the invitation, nodding her head in understanding.

“since you’re the princess of a country, this is the best we can do to invite you,” sanji sighed, looking somewhat troubled in having to leave behind vivi.

“come, vivi! definitely come! let’s go right now!”

[name] smacked his hand on luffy’s head, apologetically smiling at vivi. usopp began dragging luffy away and [name] was left to be the last one to scale out of the window.

he walked over to vivi, grinning down at her as he ruffled her blue locks, “this isn’t goodbye, even if you don’t end up coming. i’ll make sure to see you in the future, vivi! all of us!”

she nodded her head, pushing herself forward and crashing into [name]’s chest. the grip she had on his waist was tight, as if she didn’t want to let go. but after a gentle tap on her shoulders from [name], she released him from her hug.

“this was from pell,” she breathed out, handing him a crumpled up letter with his name neatly written on the front. he grinned, recognizing the lettering — thinking back to his impromtu lesson he received from the princess herself on the going merry. it seems even the guards got proper education on higher learning, “i assume it’s his thanks all written out. he was really bashful when he handed it to me,”

“then i’ll read it on merry,” [name] grinned, “vivi, you’re an amazing princess — you’ll make an even stronger queen one day!”

and then he was gone, just like that. he jumped form the window, using the rope to touch ground with the rest of his crew. and vivi was standing there, a blush on her cheeks at his sudden compliment.

but like [name] said, she'd trust they'd see each other again. whenever that time was.

the journey to the ship wasn’t super long, but it left them enough time to think. nami looked particularly forlorn, causing worry for the other crewmates. but when they realized she only looked like that because of beri, they all threw their worries out the window.

[name] had to physically stop himself from beating bon clay to a pulp when they reached merry, choosing to silently walk around the ballerina as they carried all their goods onto the ship.

the ship sailed on once everything was brought on board, bon clay still lingering on their deck. he seemed to bat his eyes whenever [name] walked by, but the man he was trying to woo would only shove his face away with his hand and a grimace.

by the time the sun came up on their journey, they were surrounded entirely by the marines.

[name] grit his teeth in annoyance, holding onto the railing as iron bars were lodged into merry’s wood. he concentrated on one of the ships that was targetting them, waving his hand in the air and causing it to capsize with a humongous wave.

“yes! [name]! keep doing that, whatever that is! keep it up!”

“it takes a lot of energy! i won’t be able to do it for all of them!” [name] bit back then beginning to breathe heavily. he noticed that they were beginning to get surrounded by 8 navy ships now.

“well, do as much as you can anyway! we can’t keep taking hits like that!” nami said, worry etched onto her features.

thankfully, usopp was able to land a cannonball into one of the ships. that bought them more time, but they weren’t going to move from their place. this is where they needed to be. vivi was going to meet them there.

thinking of the princess coming to the harbor and not seeing their ship, it made him infuriated. these marines had to ruin everything!

he turned around, waving his hand once more and causing two more of the ships to crash down.

bon clay began to beg for them to leave, but all of them refused. once luffy mentioned they were waiting for their friend, it seemed to woo the man in acting as a decoy for them.

and as bon clay got the formation to break apart, the strawhats were able to successfully move deeper into the harbor and closer to shore. and the only thing they could do was wait.

vivi’s voice began to ring in the air, making [name]’s face brighten up. he ran to the railing, to search for her at the shore. but gradually, the smile on his face began falling as he saw that she was nowhere to be seen.

she was giving a speech, but not for them. she wasn’t at the shore, which means her choice was obvious.

it did sting a little bit, [name] giving a bitter sweet smile to the country. he wished vivi could have joined them. she felt too close as a crewmate to be anything else, too. a selfish part of him wanted her to choose them over her country, but he knew that that was unreasonable.

“let’s go, luffy,” [name] said softly, patting the strawhat of his captain, “she’s made her choice,”

“but-”

“no, we have to accept it and sail onward,” [name] said, shaking his head at luffy, who was pouting in sadness.

just as [name] was going to turn his back on the shore, sighing in defeat, he heard her call out, “everyone!!”

he turned around in an instant and grinned ear to ear, waving at her. the others began rejoicing, perhaps too soon. since the next words that left her lips made all of them still, “i came to say goodbye,”

“huh? what did she say?” luffy said, the wide grin on his face turning into a flat line.

“i can’t…go with you! thank you so much for everything! i’d like to go on more adventures, but there’s no ignoring that i love this country! so i can’t go!! i…i…i will remain here! but if we ever meet again some day, will you call me your friend again?!”

[name] chuckled at her crying expression, looking at the rest of the crew with a sad smile.

“you’ll forever be our-”

nami and [name] acted in sync, slapping luffy’s mouth shut and onto the deck with grim expressions.

“you can’t! the navy has noticed vivi! if they see us making contact with her, they’ll assume the worst!”

“she’ll become a criminal!” nami added in, tears glistening in her eyes, “let’s part without saying anything!”

[name] pursed his lips, a grin of mischief on his face. he quickly ran to the back of the ship, a smile on his face that he hoped the princess could see. silently, he turned his back to her. he untied the black cloth around his left wrist and stuck it up in the air.

the straw hats joined him by his side, all showing their marks of friendship with pride. despite the cannons that were being shot at them, the rocking of their ship, and the chaos around them — they all stayed still and showed off the black ‘x’ on their left arm.

“set sail!!!”

BONUS : pell’s letter to [name]

[name],

as i am writing this, you are currently in an unconscious state and have been in one since yesterday. it is troubling to think that someone like yourself has been the one protecting princess vivi recently. to think that someone who makes such reckless decision was keeping her safe…it’s most certainly unsettling.

but she’s told me about you — your adventures together and how much you have sacrified for her, plus this instance in which you saved this country and my life, as well as every civilian’s life. i’ve learned from her debt to you, one that she has said she can never repay properly. and i do agree with her.

i could never repay you or properly put into words how thankful i am to you and your captain for keeping princess vivi safe and saving this country from the evil clutches of crocodile. to us, the strawhat pirates will never be forgotten.

the reason why i could not face you in person and instead opted to write you this letter is because of the utter shame i feel in making you be the one to hold the burden of saving the country on your shoulders. if i were more competent, then we would have both been able to save everyone, but instead i proved to still have a ways to go before i can be the perfect guardian for princess vivi and this country.

the princess had told me that my shames and worries were silly, then further reinforced that idea by saying that you were a rather laid back individual who would care for nothing of this sort. but, i can’t push aside my shames at this moment, but i also cannot stay silent in your actions and not show my genuine gratitude.

from one guardian to another, i thank you very humbly in everything you have done — but especially everything you have done for the princess. her smile reaches her eyes now and her shoulders are no longer slouched in stress and in worry of saving her country. but besides that point, i think you alone have saved her as well. saved her from walking down a dark path of loneliness and abandonment.

thank you for not giving up on princess vivi and pushing her forward in returning back home.

take this letter as a means of holding me accountable in the future. if we ever cross paths again, which i think the princess would like very much, then please utilize me as a proper guardian this time and trust in my abilities to prove myself to you. you have done me a great fortune i could never think of properly repaying, but allow me to at least try and hold a candle to the bright flame you have ignited when you saved this country.

yours,

pell.

additionally — i am glad i was at least the one to bring you the joy of flying. hopefully, when we meet in the future, we can go on the same flight together once again.

-

[  .ᐟ ] alabasta arc ends 🥹gonna miss vivi fr i need the straw hats and vivi to reunite in the manga ughhh like rnnnn + i finally caught up w the manga guys!!! i know everything thats going onnn (i had to reread from wci-present) concerningly enouhh i think it took a week?? definitely more than three days...i think

-

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taglist (lmk if u want to be tagged ! <3 :

@skullr0se , @strawberrii-tea, @triangulartriangles, @anotherlovefool, @haratatsu , @sinmp, @3v37773, @taru-nami, @disc0dild0s, @boredwithlifeatthispoint, @kaulitzer, @notplutos, @cheetosins

[candycoated-rage]

anyways here’s some of my personal pizza tower character interpretations

- peppino is Italian-American and lives in Boston. He’s super Mario bros super show Mario. the pizza tower just appeared in Boston one day and nobody questioned it because it’s boston

- peppino is the only “normal” guy in a world of cartoony bullshit. it’s like a who framed Roger rabbit situation where he’s just so constantly sick of the silly things.

- peppino is also perpetually angry because of the cartoon bs. more angry than anxious. outside of the pizza tower he’s a normal old guy (I am a “peppino is constantly anxious” nonbeliever. make that old man grumpy)

- he’s also divorced

- Gustavo is relatively normal compared to everything else. he just wants to help

- I once saw the idea of pepperman being a frat boy who only took up art to get “hot art babes” and I firmly believe that

- pman’s size correlates to his ego. after peppino beats the shit outta him he physically shrinks because he’s so ashamed of himself

- vigilante is the only actual competent boss who tries to take things seriously despite him being sentient melted cheese

- the noise is a little BASTARD and I mean it. he would kill peppino if it weren’t for his conveniently timed girlfriend always stopping him.

- the only time noise acts normal is when he’s not being broadcasted on live tv. then he’s just the most normal guy ever

- the noise is also the “mascot” of the pizza tower I guess

- noise and noisette have a HAPPY relationship. FUCK the nonbelievers

- fake peppino isn’t a sweetheart frog boy. he is a wild animal that pizzahead just kinda dropped off into a musty pit and gave a key and said “protect this”

- when the pizza tower was destroyed fake pep just hid in peppino’s freezer for a week until peppino had to shoo it out with a broomstick. he is a vermin

- pizzahead is an egotistical incompetent antagonist DUMBASS. he only wants to destroy peppino’s place because he thinks it’s ugly and hates old men. he is Roger rabbit to me

all of this is canon to me you cannot argue with my awesome infallible logic

[musicncomics]

So I went back and rewatched all of the Hachetfield stuff, and now I have some ✨questions✨ and also possible ✨theories✨

(I don't know how much has been talked about before in theory circles, so go easy on me if these are widely accepted theories or questions that have been answered a million times before)

1- The LiB and their altars

Ok, so first off we know there are 5 black altars and 5 LiB- it only makes sense that each altar was dedicated to one LiB in particular- but can be used as a general altar if the need calls for it.

I believe we can determine which altar belongs to which LiB by where that Lord showed up first in the series.

So Pokey's altar is the Starlight Theater, Wiggly's was the old mill (now Lakeside Mall), and Tinky's was The Gazette (in Time Bastard, we learn the Gazette eventually turns into CCRP- Paul and Ted's workplace), Nibbly's is the Waylon place, and Blinky's is Hachetfield High.

I'm pretty sure Nibbly's is the Waylon place because in Honey Queen, the CotSC bring Linda to the middle of nowhere for her to be possessed by Nibbly. I'm gonna run under the assumption that the Church would almost certainly bring her to one of the altars for such an important ceremony- but none of the other altars fit such an out-of-the-way description.

I also think that Blinky would LOVE the drama that goes on behind the scenes of a Hachetfield High, and something about him having an amusement park also tells me that he may enjoy watching drama between children more than he does adults.

2- Grace Chastity may have a touch of "the gift"

My main reasons for thinking this comes from Abstinence Camp and NPMD.

First, Grace was able to get the ax-man to turn on Jerry and Jeri after a single conversation. The ax-man also gave her his ax as a symbol of passing the torch to her to protect the woods. I don't think that would have happened without a little intervention.

Secondly, after the scene with Richie's death, Grace wakes up and says she saw Max- looking angry and not hot at all- and while I do believe it was mainly played for laughs, SHE STILL SAW HIM. I don't know if it *was* just a dream, but dreams have been used as shorthand for having "the gift" before, and I don't believe in coincidence with these shows.

I don't think she has a strong version of "the gift" but I do believe that it's enough that her having the black book will end up being a problem for everyone else.

3- Was the "ghost" of Ethan really a ghost?

This one may seem strange, but Ethan died pretty violently in BF- and he was also at an altar when it happened. That vision Hannah saw of him- was it just a puppet of Wiggly, or was it a little closer to what Max is?

Is Max just more powerful because he made a more violent promise as his last words?

4- The entirety of season 2 is the same timeline

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but the main gist is that, if it happened in season 2, then it falls on one timeline in the Hachetfield saga.

Yellow Jacket is the last event in this timeline, and it starts with Perky's Buds.

Every story in this timeline mentions the Honey Festival. While at the Honey Festival, we get clear signs that things tie together.

In PB- Ziggs is making the pin-up girl specifically to be their mascot to present at the festival.

In AC- I'm pretty sure Steph says that she's going to miss the Honey Festival

HQ- this one is obvious.

Daddy- the mother says she's going to pick up a new father from the Honey Festival- she comes back with Ted.

KT- Ted and the mother flirting. Zoey's roommate asking for something that will ruin Zoey's voice.

YJ- young Sherman sitting on the counter at toy zone.

That's most of them for now- I have other thoughts, but none want to come to me rn. I may update this later with more.

[androdetective]

Your headcanons and others are super interesting, also I love your human version designs sm. (I give your human Juanin hugs)

Do you think there could be colour symbolism with Juanin, Bodoque, and Tulio? A thing I noticed about the three's puppets are (maybe I am reading too deeply since I am a sucker for symbolism-related stuff) Juanin has softer colors, Tulio has dull colors, and Bodoque has bright colors.

TYY he hugs back 🫶🫶

I haven't thought about that but I can see what you mean (I also really like color symbolism a)

I don't know if there was intentional symbolism put behind their colors but as an artist and symbolism enthusiast I'll try and say what I think their colors could represent/what I would make their colors represent

For Tulio, I think toned-down colors could show him as "neutral." An honest and unbiased newshost with colors easy to the eye. With unassuming colors, viewers wouldn't assume anything and listen to him. I think having more toned-down/dull colors could show him as more "professional."

For me, I'd give him duller colors to show his roots in a way. His family has more natural colors. They're more rural folk, and as much as Tulio wants to get away from that, he still came from them

Juanín having softer colors would fit his soft appearance and personality. He's a passive guy and one of the nicer puppets. With his body language and soft colors it would show the viewer that he's a more anxious yet friendly character. White can also be associated with innocence, which Juanín is said to be.

For Bodoque, his bright colors could be something inviting to a viewer (particularly younger ones or people who just like brighter colors). It makes him seem friendly like a mascot. It could represent how he has a strong personality. Red is often associated with strong emotions like anger or love, which fit him. Bright colors are seen in nature, typically as a warning. The colors may seem attractive, but it'll end in being poisoned/attacked in some way. He might not poison people but he's a toxic bastard who's willing to attack lmaoo

Bodoque's bright colors compared to Juanín's soft colors would contrast them as almost complete opposites. Juanín's colors are like a nice compliment to Tulio's duller colors. Bodoque's colors contrast strong against Tulio, a more strong force compared to a more natural look. Tulio's colors would ground Bodoque's bright colors and Juanín's soft colors. Bodoque's bright colors would stand out from the two other's coloring and show he's the most liveliest of them all. Juanín's colors would compliment the others and show he's the more innocent one.

[celestialholz]

An apple a Kitakam-day keeps the doctor away (or 'they have fields of them now oh my god')

Guys. Guys. I am at my upper limit and Brassius hasn't even graced my clubhouse yet. I'm going to yeet myself off clifftops without a dragon. (No Rotom buddy, don't save me. It's not worth it.)

Warning: this post contains no story spoilers for Kitakami, but it does contain a certain Pokemon, and a DLC-specific location, and the occasional mention of a sidequest or two. If you want to go in totally spoiler-free, just be wary. :)

Now, we all know Applin as the gay mascot Pokemon, so what did they feel like doing for our first DLC?

What is this. What IS THIS. Note the unamused expression on mini Holz - mood, honey. Biggest mood.

This is Kitakami's Apple Fields, which are so painfully obviously a Hassius honeymoon destination that they're even winking at me.

THE AUDACITY.

... I'm glad you do, because personally, I've become allergic to them. Whatever the apple version of homophobia is, I have a terminal case.

But anyway, if you happen to scale these lovely cliffs off to the side:

You will be able to count how many fields there are here. It's difficult at ground level because the fences are stupid, but there's sixteen of them. TM16 in this game is Acrobatics, which is - and you can choose, I'm easy - either a reference to Brassius jumping off windmills because he has the confidence now through love, or me jumping off this ledge without a dragon and no Rotom Phone. (Yes, I will do a flip.)

Wasn't enough for you to give me a core-wyrm and a fore-wyrm, a marital signpost of a Pokemon, was it Game Freak, or stick a heart around Harvest C, or give Hassel a Flapple? Nope. FIELDS OF APPLIN. Yeah no, I'm fine...

Look at this little bastard. Look at her. She knows what she is.

You also find the simp Glitterati here by the way, twice, so... mmm, simps, enjoying apples, on two separate occasions. Can't mean anything guys, don't worry about it...

And as though all this wasn't bullshit enough, this is what happens when you show a Dipplin to the guys in Mossui Town who wish they had a romance half as compelling as Hassius:

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I WILL FIGHT YOU BOTH NEXT TO THE CRYSTAL POOL YOU F -

[southern-fried-simpin]

Edward Nygma x Reader Who Knows A Lot Of Weird Facts | Part 2 ✌🏼

A/N: Hey y’all I’m sorry this took an ungodly amount of time, I’m trying to get over some slight writers block and actually (slowly but surely) get some requests done I promise I haven’t been just ignoring all of you 😭

Warning(s): Floof, some nsfw, post Riddler Ed is here y’all , mentions of doctors, mentions of mental illness/hysteria, mentions of vibrators, mentions of dogs, mentions of ww2

I hope I listed all the appropriate warnings, but if not please tell me!

Despite being a murderer/ terrorist/ all around feral intelligent idiot, y’all still have your ritual of trading knowledge for riddles and vice versa.

However, since Riddler is usually in control, he is more brazen and flirty now and what better way to show it than with his own set of “weird” facts

“Y/n, my dear, I read the most interesting thing just now, would you like to hear?” “Of course, what is it?” “Vibrators were originally made by doctors for the purpose of curing female hysteria in the 19th century ~”

Well you already knew that one, but nonetheless you are blushing and giggling like a schoolgirl because of this cheeky bastard

Ed, on the other hand, gives you adorably sweet facts and riddles that make you feel all fuzzy inside ❤️

Picture it: Gotham, 2023, it’s Veterans Day.

He’s so excited because he has waited for this specific day to tell you this specific bit of information that he learned from going down a Wikipedia rabbit hole one night.

“Good morning, Mx.L/n” he says carrying two plates of food to the desk you’re sitting at,” are you ready for our morning ritual?” You giggled and yawned a bit before responding. “Always am, what do you have for me today?”

Oh boy, he’s bouncing in his seat. “The most decorated war dog in history was named Sergeant Stubby, a stray pit bull mix that wandered onto the Yale university campus while the 102nd infantry was training and he became their mascot!”

Well hell whatever riddle you had ready for him was gone as you were consumed by how adorable both he, and the fact, was at that moment 🥹

Also, you best believe this man brags about you to his victims (and Oswald) on your behalf

Basically it boils down to this at the end of the day: Same Ed, same undying love for you, just a different “career path” ❤️🥲

[dreamcrow]

catfight? :3c

(from this wip meme; thank you for the ask!)

so like. toa. does not do a great job of explaining what familiars actually are, right. are they the human children attached to changelings? (which is...another post.) or are they magical animal mascots like archie? (why is the same word used for such wildly different concepts…? but. again. different post.) this story is about exploring the latter sense, namely: what the fuck are they? what does a familiar do? why do some wizards (for which intend "general magic-user") have them and others don't? are they like daemons? how connected are you? is it permanent, or are some familiars temporary? do all magic-users have familiars, or is the relationship culturally specific? does being a familiar grant some level of intelligence, or is there some poor bastard out there with like. ye standard-issue flatworm of +100 magic?

...you can see why this isn't published yet. orz

anyway, this fic was born out of me trying desperately to make incoherent canon make sense. and also to do something with my thoughts about bellroc and skrael's familiars (who otherwise show up almost never!). also also to give archie some kind of personality. basically, the concept for this fic is:

after [the end of however i decide to fix the ending of wizards]. archie is prowling around in the woods of arcadia. as u do.

he finds something much nastier than he expected (skrael, being a wangsty little shit).

much as i don't know what i think about familiars, i do know i've decided that something about the nature of the relationship means powerful magic-users are simply more predisposed to such relationships.

archie realizes, with abrupt and terrible clarity, exactly what the order's skulls are.

and when fight-or-flight hits: twelve entire pounds of perfect blazing dragon wrath picks fight.

now my skrael's not a complete jackass so he doesn't actually throw down with a cat. but. what i want to do with this fic is 1.) work on a character i've never developed before, and 2.) let them be completely, catastrophically right. >:)

[quinloki]

A Light Touch

Fem Reader x Eustass Kid

CW: language, assault, violence, sexual themes and situations, implications of non-con, loss of limbs, blood. 18+ Only.

Chapter 1 - Table of Consent -

Chapter 19: The Crisis

Emma and Hip nearly squeezed the life out of you, one after the other, as you entered back into the house.

"You came back!" Emma cries, squishing you against her chest.

"You would not have looked good in pink." Hip says, hugging you and Emma at the same time.

"I don't think they have uniforms like that, Hip." Killer says, pulling the two ladies off you. "Let her breathe you two." He looks down at you for a moment before a smile crosses his face. "Welcome back (Y/N). Did he pull you clean out of the limo himself, or did he show restraint?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if he had just tossed the limo." Wire adds flatly.

"Eh?" You looked up at Killer questioningly before turning to Kid. "Were you watching the whole time?"

"Don't listen to them, Mouse." Kid says, ruffling your hair enough it pushes your head down and turns your gaze away from his face. "Let's get her up to speed."

"Does that include telling her about the plans to raid Doflamingo's castle?" Heat asks with a crooked smile.

Kid's fist clenched so fast you could hear the metal crashing into itself. He growls, but it stops when you start laughing.

"Pfft- hahaha, I don't know why, but when you called it a castle I could only picture 'Sorry Kid, but your Mouse is in another castle'. Like that one old video game." You look up to see Eustass frowning, but despite his efforts to look angry his ears were red. "Sorry, sorry." Another errant laugh escapes you and you cover your face. "What am I being brought up to speed on?" You say, desperately trying to distract yourself before you collapse into giggle fits.

"We've found a way to find Decken." House says, coming over and hugging you as well. "We've had a way to find him, but the sporadic attacks only told us his location was changing. So we couldn't nail him down."

"Without Doflamingo harassing him, we can pin him down easier." Killer says.

You frown. "That asshole!" You growl. You were getting legitimately angry. "That fluffy pink bastard said not finding Decken was proof that Kid wasn't doing enough to protect me, and it was HIS FAULT YOU COULDN'T FIND HIM!"

You reached out as though you meant to strangle the air. "That cocky bastard!"

"... I think that's the first time I've seen you get angry." Kid says, his brows raised in amusement. "It's kind of adorable."

"I'm not adorable, I'm mad!" You insist, stomping your foot.

"Give 'er a break, cap'n," Emma says, trying not to laugh.

"Yeah, it's as fierce as a mascot can get!" Hip adds and the entire crew breaks into laughter. You're pretty sure you can even hear Killer breaking from behind the hands over his mouth.

"You're all terrible." You grumble, not that anyone can hear you over all the laughing. After a moment you manage to smile as well and the whole room comes back under control.

By the end of the day, you had been brought up to speed with what had happened without you yesterday.

It had been determined before now that the direction the items from Decken traveled was as direct an arc as possible. The items would change course if you moved, but as long as you walked toward them, they wouldn't shift, they'd just arch downward faster.

If they hit something between their starting point and destination, they would cease to move. 'Something' being things more dense than air and water and less dense than wood, concrete, and metal. At least that was what they'd been able to sort out so far.

This meant that Decken was tossing these items as high up into the air as he could, so they cleared buildings and made their way to your location. There were some summits in the Metro he could be utilizing, but while he had been dodging Doflamingo it was unlikely he could be too picky.

There were also other assumptions that had to be made - how much velocity the items had or could gain. If strong winds could knock them off course temporarily or not, and other unknown limitations or empowerments granted by the Devil fruit ability itself.

Heat pointed to a few places on a map he'd brought out. "Since he'll realize he's not playing with Doflamingo anymore, he's most likely to take advantage of these elevated locations. Each one would send items into the house on different sections, so once he attacks again, we can head to the most likely location."

"It's not a guarantee," Kid says. "But it's not 4-dimensional chess anymore. It's just between us and him."

"He's going to do what everyone except Shanks has done since we got here," Killer says. "And underestimate us."

"Except Shanks... Hold on, are you telling me you guys waltzed into the Grandline Metro, became kings, and then hopped the fence past the Warlords and challenged an Emperor?!" You were completely dumbfounded as a couple crew members nodded their heads.

"Only cost us an arm and we learned a lot from it, Mouse."

You made a face. You're pretty sure your soul made a face.

"I'm surprised it took this long for The Crisis to hit you like that." Emma quips.

"The Crisis?"

"Everyone who joins the crew has The Crisis. Crisis is defined as 'a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger'." Wire explains. "The Crisis is that moment when you realize just exactly what it means to follow Eustass 'Captain' Kid."

"And yet none of you bastards have left after having your crisis." Kid points out and taps on the map to pull everyone back on topic. "I want Mouse to stay here tonight, and we need to send out scouts to look at these locations before an attack. See if there's any we can rule out first."

"We're leaving her alone here?" Hip asks.

"I mean, I'd be safe in the basement, right? Or the workshop – it's mostly a bunker." You offer.

"We're not leaving you alone." Kid grumbles, even though he gives you crooked smile. "You're shit at taking orders, Mouse. I'll stay here – subtle isn't exactly my gig anyway."

"If we happen to come across him while we're scouting, you want us to just handle things?" Emma asks.

"Sure," Kid says. "If you can bring him back here I'd consider it a gift, but at this point we need this problem solved. I ain't going to be a picky bitch about it." He looks around. "Pull Boogie, Reck and Mosh too. Moai and Hop if they're not busy. Tomorrow, I want a call out to gather the crew, give everyone that's scattered a week to get back here."

"Hey House," Kid called out, and put a hand on her shoulder before leaning down and whispering something in her ear.

"I mean, I'll do my best, Captain."

"Yeah, don't go nuts, but do what you can." Kid waved his hand. "Alright, handle your shit, back by dawn."

The crew ruffles your hair or pats you on the back as they file out, leaving you and Kid in the den together.

"What was that with House?" You ask out of curiosity.

"If I wanted the crew to know, I'da said it louder." Kid answers sarcastically, glancing at you from the corner of his eye as he collects up the map.

"I'm not the crew," you say, and you see him flinch. "I'm the fucking mascot." You say with a laugh.

"Seriously Mouse." He muses, putting things back.

"Am I though?" You ask, and see him look at you and raise a brow. "A member of the crew. Truly? Officially? In a you're-not-going-to-tell-me-to-get-into-limos-with-mad-men kind of way?"

"Pretty ballsy assumption thinking I'm not a mad man, Mouse. You want a gold letter certificate or something?" He asks. "I said I wasn't giving you a choice."

"... I hope you didn't recruit everyone else by snoggin' 'em." You say with a grin.

"Only Killer," he answers without missing a beat.

You choke. You didn't even have anything to choke on but air, but you still manage it.

Kid leans down and speaks low into your ear. "Don't underestimate me, Mouse, or I'll have you speaking in tongues on my workbench until you forget your name." He promises you, giving you a light kiss on the side of your neck before he walks out of the den.

The heats rushes from your toes up to your face, and you make an involuntary sound before you can get your hands over your mouth. You're in the chair for a good minute trying to get your body to settle down before you exit the den as well.

Realization sinks in that with everyone out on reconnaissance, you were going to be alone with Kid in the house. You were completely certain that he wasn't going to do anything to you. He said he wouldn't until after Decken had been taken care of, but that was before you were officially part of the crew. It wasn't protection from Decken that was keeping you here, it was deeper than that.

. . . . . .

After getting ready for bed, you found yourself standing outside Eustass' room. You were in the only thing you could really call lingerie that you owned. It wasn't an overtly seductive design, but it was a babydoll design with a little lace, and for you – and you were sure for Eustass – it was going to get the point across.

You knock on the door and hear him on the other side.

"What, too scared to sleep alone to-." The door opens and Kid, and his words, froze. His hair was damp and fell against his face, the white t-shirt he was wearing was dappled with water, and you were a little taken aback how good he looked in sweats.

You weren't sure what to say, but you could feel his eyes on you were certain you were as red as his hair. "You know what you're doing, Mouse?" He asks, and his voice is heavy.

"I'm inexperienced, not uneducated." You manage to reply, looking up at him. It might be your imagination, but he almost looks nervous. "I promise I'm not underestimating you."

There's a loud thump from the other side of the door and you aren't sure if he slammed his fist into something or kicked the wall. There's a moment of silence, and the gaze that settles on you sends a chill up your back.

"I can't promise I'll be able to hold back, Mouse."

"... I can go bite Victoria, if it'll help." You say with a twisted grin.

Kid motions you forward with a finger, that predatory grin on his face. "Get in here."

You step inside, feeling a hum almost like when Kid used his power, and felt your heart stutter when the door clicked closed behind you. You were quickly coming to understand the whole predator/prey relationship as you realize you weren't sure if it was safe to move.

"Go sit on the bed, Mouse." Eustass says, and the tone of his voice almost physically pushes you forward.

You climb onto the bed as he pulls his shirt off, grabbing a chair he comes over and sets it by the edge of the bed. The lamp by the bed is on, it's not bright, but there's more light in the room than you expected. You are exceptionally aware of everything, and trying not to focus on any one thing.

Eustass' room smell like his workshop, but different. There's the scent of metal and wood, but it's muted, and there's a scent of something like bourbon and chocolate mixed in. It's surprisingly elegant and sensual, and reminds you of Victoria and Eustass on the stand in the courtroom – unexpectedly fitting.

He sits on the chair and leans back, regarding you with those golden eyes of his. His tongue slides over his teeth as he grins before his expression turns serious.

"Play with yourself, Mouse." He says, in the same commanding tone that had spurred you toward the bed in the first place.

"Huh?" You heard him, but you couldn't process the words. Your face goes red and you can feel your heart beating faster.

"I know you know how. Show me." He orders. You hesitate for a second and he leans forward. "If you take too long to get started, Mouse, I'm going to start turning on every light in this room."

There's a rush that runs through you and you shake your head. "N-no, I-I'll, um... do it."

You spread your legs open and slip your hand under the band of the lacy underwear. You're already soaking wet, and when your finger slides over your clit you gasp at the unexpectedly strong sensation. You weren't sure if it was his gaze or his commands that had you in this sort of state, but your body was warm and trembling almost as soon as you started.

You hold yourself upright with your left arm as your right hand went to work with practiced movements. Your legs twitch and begin to close as the pleasure began to build up in your thighs, your breath was already coming out heavy, and you bit your lip, concentrating on the sensation.

"Keep your legs open, Mouse." He commands.

"It's – ahngh, n-not easy." You admit, spreading them back open even as your thighs twitched and pull back together. "They always... wanna close..." Your face was so red you could feel the heat in you making you a little light headed.

He stands up and pulls the thin lacey panties down. "Keep going, I'm just getting a better, view." His voice was low and warm, and his sweatpants weren't hiding his enjoyment of the show.

He brings your legs together long enough to pull the thin undergarment off, his hands grabbing your ankles and spreading your legs apart for you. You gasp at the sudden motion and feel a shiver rip through you at the expression on Eustass' face as he took in this new view.

Your heavy breaths were turning into moans, as the pleasure sent shivers down your legs.

"Hngh... Kid, I'm gonna..." For some reason you almost felt like you needed to ask permission, so you did. "Ah, please, lemme c-cum."

"Fuck Mouse, listen to you begging on your own like that," Eustass growls, his fingers tightening around your ankles for a second as his tongue slides across his lips. "Cum for me."

His tone, the words, the situation, the state you had been in before you had even knocked on his door, it was crashing into you as you cried out your pleasure into the room. Your legs twisted in his hands and you laid back on the bed as you came down from your pleasure.

Before you could even sink into the comforter of the bed, Eustass' hands slip up your legs and grab your ass. He pulls you to the edge of the bed as he kneels down and your sensitive twitching clit is devoured by his mouth.

"Hngh-Kiiiiiid!" You exclaim as your words melt into unintelligible moans.

You curl into him in surprise, and his arms shift enough to hook around your thighs and pull your legs open. He pushes into you as he spreads you open, his tongue plunging into your soaking pussy as your hands grab onto his hair.

Your body falls into the bed, your hands pulling at his hair in a futile attempt to get him to stop as the new wave of pleasure begins to overwhelm you. You're not begging him to stop, but when his thumb rolls over your clit and his tongue pushes deeper inside of you, your body clenches so hard you're vaguely worried you're going to pull his hair out.

Instead, he hums approvingly against you, continuing his assault. You feel yourself nearing another climax when he leans back and slips a finger inside you. The sensation causes your breath to catch in your throat, but he doesn't relent. His lips and teeth tease your clit as he fits a second finger inside you, and you can't beg permission from him this time.

You manage to suck in a breath just in time to cry curses into the air as you come again.

"You are deliciously sensitive, Mouse." Eustass purrs, licking along your slit and making your body shudder. "I've got some toys that might actually break you."

Your head's spinning from the pleasure, and your body is already exhausted. You can feel your skin flush as Eustass moves over you, your body sunk into the comforter of the bed. Aside from an airy nervous laugh, you can't muster up the energy to say anything back to him.

You're certainly not going to egg him on at this point, but you're vaguely reminded of Emma teasing you about needing stamina if you were going to be "friends" with Eustass.

He leans down and kisses you softly, his kisses moving from your lips, down along your jaw. When he reaches your ear, he runs his teeth along the sensitive flesh before his voice sinks into you.

"I'm not going to risk breaking you on the first night, Mouse." He says, kissing your neck and eliciting a soft gasp from you. "But I'm not going to make any promises about tomorrow."

[therealbrigeedarocks]

i absolutely forgot the point i was trying to make

so i’m just going to throw out a word salad and hope it makes sense

calvin fischoeder didn’t have to be an on-screen character that interacts with the cast of bob’s burgers

it could’ve been easier (and cheaper) to have him as a never seen/off-screen but noticeable presence like a fish odor along the vein of maris on frasier or vera on cheers

the wealthy landlord always wanting the rent with the threat of eviction while hearing/discussing whatever batshit antics him, his brother, and cousin got up to while the belchers do what they do best

oh but what a lesser world it would be not to have kevin kline, zach galifianakis, and david wain voicing them

or hell maybe even keeping them strictly to cut-away gag appearances

it could’ve been really easy to keep them “distant”

obviously the comedy surrounding the fischoeders works because their super-wealthy lifestyles and personalities contrasts with the struggling belchers. plus i have a soft spot for serious actors like kline doing comedy shows and delivering the best goddamn zingers and shit

which brings me to this scene in the bob’s burgers movie, where calvin is giving the belcher kids a tour of his and felix’s secret clubhouse i ain’t telling you where it is watch the fucking movie

we see this photo of the fischoeders side by side with their dad, the original owner of the wonder wharf

notice how awkward and stiff calvin seems compared to how stern their dad is. how empty and lifeless the wharf itself looks (the wharf is 80 years old in the movie, and present-day calvin is in his 60s, so this is well into the wharf’s history)

it’s also obvious how much calvin takes after his dad, in appearance, in fashion, and one can assume in sensibilities (they are wealthy, out of touch, and egotistical after all)

then we see a wharf photo long after calvin has taken the place over

it’s him, felix, and grover with the wonder wharf employees and mascots.

he didn’t have to have a group shot. he could’ve just as easily kept it to him, felix, and grover reflecting the original pic. could’ve just highlighted how much the wharf has grown and changed over the years. but he decided to surround himself with his -undeniably mistreated- carnie-crew instead. hell, calvin is actually smiling in this one. (i assume felix is neutral either because of the hand on his shoulder or because resents not being left the wharf)

i’m not saying calvin fischoeder is a good person, and maybe he’s not really trying to be (again, rich bastard who wears a cape on occasion and champ-pumps to get drunk while driving a goddamn bumper car on the streets)

but by god does it really show he’s trying not to be his dad

i mean

i doubt senior fischoeder would ever seriously consider dragging up an enormous organ to humor a bunch of grade schoolers as the “opening-act” to his octo-wharf-aversary or approve of performing alongside them even for a moment

i hope this made sense i love this show i love this movie thank you and good night

[altocat]

Question time!! I know it’s been a while lol.

Do the Firsts (and Cloud) have any irrational fears? Like something that is definitely not scary but sets them off anyway? For example, I personally am terrified of butterflies.

What do you think (about the Firsts, not me and the butterflies 🫣)?

Ooh, that's a nice question. Let's do it!

Angeal is a little afraid of people in mascot costumes. It's childish and really juvenile, but he's WEIRDED the hell out by it. Shinra tries the mascot gig for a while to indoctrinate children, and Angeal books it every time one of their cutesy mascots shows up. A hard n o p e.

Zack doesn't like mimes. He's pretty twitchy around clowns, but mimes are the absolute worst. Dead silent. Pretending to be all supernatural when Materia magic exists. Yet they STILL do it! And all without a color scheme! They're PLOTTING something, Zack just knows it!

Genesis is spooked at spiders. Or really any tiny creepy-crawly that comes his way. He is perfectly content with blowing up the entire building if it means getting rid of the little bastards. Unfortunately for him, Sephiroth has a fondness for insects and arachnids and is always blithely marching up to him and Angeal to show off what he found! Genesis just barely suppresses a whimper every time.

Sephiroth doesn't really have many major phobias. Time spent in the lab desensitized him to a lot of spooky things out there in the real world. But with that said, it also caused some ripple effects. Sephiroth doesn't like being restrained, as he associates it with being strapped to the medical table. Certain textures or forms of contact are deeply uncomfortable for him and can cause triggered responses. He's got a lot of sensory issues due to the abuse he faced in childhood, and certain kinds of touch, movement, or external stimulus set him off every time.

Cloud just flat out doesn't like humiliation. He can be very socially anxious at times, especially when around the much cooler Firsts. He tries his best to fit in, but instances of clumsiness or just not knowing what he's doing creates scenarios of rejection that deeply discomfort him. Poor thing.

[mdhwrites]

This is a me thing, but one trope I’m tired of with even if I understand why it’s used is a previously masked character having their face revealed to indicate they are sympathetic or a “real” character now. I think my main complaint is how it’s often used as an easy shorthand to indicate a character is now deserving of sympathy or more focus from the narrative without any other buildup. Hunter in Hunting Palisman is an example for me of the former, and Steve was an example of the latter (especially since he spent an entire episode with King with the mask on)

So I actually find this trope especially fascinating for TOH from the perspective that it could have been a one off episode concept about different ways people express themselves comfortably. Of Luz learning a lesson that is actually tied into the main theme of the show instead of the self expression stuff mostly being tied to the overall plot of the show. I'll get into that in a bit though because I do want to first talk about the difficulties of masked characters and how they're treated because while it's a pretty simple concept, it's one that's easily overlooked by people because we don't think about it.

So first there's just the basic human fact that we like things that look like us. It's easier to connect with them and to bastardize the other. This is kind of baked into our brains, as much as I wish it wasn't, and something as simple as a mask can be enough to cause disturbance, especially if the mask in question removes the ability to perceive someone's eyes and mouth. Not only are they lacking features we associate with ourselves, they've also robbed us of the ability to read their emotions through one of the two most expressive parts of the body.

This is especially true for animation. Ever wondered why Sonic the Hedgehog's eyes and hands are so big? That's because they're the most expressive parts of the body to most and so emphasis on them allows for easier broadcasting of emotions. The inverse of this is where you get mascot suits or Power Ranger actors where they HAVE to do big actions with their whole body and/or hands to get an emotion across because the subtleties of your face are lacking.

So when it comes to a character on screen, it is literally easier to connect to them without the mask and from a work standpoint, you don't have to be as creative/wild with your animation, or rely as heavily on your voice actor, with the mask off. It also comes with the extra perk that everything above makes the moment of taking off the mask feel like a moment when the walls come down. When a character is willing to open up and express themselves instead of hide.

And TOH… Does fine with this. Hunter gets no choice but even the first time we see him without his mask, with Belos and talking about wild magic, we're already getting vivid signs that he's actually a good person. It's why the claim of him and the Golden Guard are different characters exists. Literally anytime Hunter has the mask on, he straight up acts like an entirely different character.

Steve gets his unmasking moment but it's less about him opening up and more about removing the symbol of an oppressor and becoming his own person. I actually like Steve's more than Hunter's because A: the mask coming off is a choice and B: it's one of the few times where a character's arc still accounts for the past because while he leaves the EC, Steve isn't fundamentally different. His morals shifted but he is still the same laid back goofball we know, even if that episode has him at easily his most relaxed. It's not hard to go from class clown to chill stoner bro though.

So with all of that out of the way… I wish someone had kept the mask on and joined the good guys. Or just existed in general. I'm not even talking about the EC mask. Just a mask in general. Not everyone is comfortable with their face after all. Not everyone is comfortable with being able to be read constantly and having to manage their expressions. Being able to let their voice and hands do the talking is their form of expression that they're comfortable with.

Imagine the contrast possible between them and Luz. Luz hides NOTHING with her body language after all. She is a very loud character both in volume and action. This easily leads to going too far for her and I wish was the cause of more mischief for her but I can only immediately think of Winging it Like Witches and Covention where her non-stop flood of emotions is a problem for her.

Meanwhile, you have a dude who appears tall, brooding, scary as hell with the mask and… Isn't any of those things. He's just quiet and strong but still shares a kind heart and a focus. So while seeing an injured bird might raise enough emotions out of Luz to start panicking, he has the control to immediately start tending to its wounds. Contrasting that, the two could be at something like Grom together and he's obviously incredibly uncomfortable by the amount of people and social etiquette that he's constantly running through his brain. The small actions that could offend people that Luz doesn't think about because she's more optimistic about others.

It also allows an arc where Luz starts off not understanding why he wears a mask and even teasing him about it but eventually the teasing stops, she seems to start being able to read his emotions by the small movements and like that he makes and even defends him from being unmasked. When pushed about wanting to see the true him, she pushes back that the mask IS the real him. Because it's the him he decided to use.

And so we get a character climax… NOT of taking off the mask. Instead, the masked character says that they think it's time for a new mask, or at least an update, and asks Luz if they would like to help with that. And so something a bit happier, less blank and with a few more flourishes is made for him to wear. Something that shows his better nature more clearly and the influence Luz has had.

And yes, I effectively just made up a new side character that would probably replace Willow… Or Gus. This is probably something I should make a whole blog about, a blog about TOH's problems when it comes to themes and not having any filter on its jokes is probably warranted to. The basic concept though is that if TOH's number one lesson, number one theme, is self expression. Gus… Expresses themselves. All the time. Louder than Luz even. Admittedly, they actually DO get good stuff out of him about identity to this isn't like how Willow and Gus contradict the very plot of the show. It's just…

Again, something I A: need to give more thought to and B: deserves its own blog.

In general, talking about this kind of made me wish self expression, how people expressed themselves, the wide range of people who exist and their strengths as people, was more widely explored. Then again, when you have a statement screamed at the top of your lungs like "We weirdos gotta stick together!" (a line that BETTER come back in the finale honestly) in your first episode, it feels like a mission statement. A thesis on what the show is about.

HOWEVER, a rebuttable to all of this: It is much easier to amend than it is to create. It's much easier to sit on a high throne that can see it all and talk about what you believe would have made something better when you're not in the trenches and figuring this stuff out while also talking to studio heads, collaborators, etc. like that. This is, at literal best, a nitpick. It is exactly the sort of thing fanfiction is for. If I wanted to, I could write a theoretical episode about a masked character who becomes friends with Luz. That's what fanfiction is for. To turn speculation into some level of reality. Anyways, I hoped you liked the thought exercise and enjoyed the rambling. ^^; Which actually makes this a good blog to start finally adding schilling at the end of these because my own job as a content creator requires it. *sigh* ---------

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