#highly unlikely chance idk

[sheseuph]

hi been a while

[jasongracedefenseattorney]

i’ve seen this assertion and tweets like it several times so let’s actually check the text, shall we! first, what he is referencing is this moment during the war games in son of neptune:

notice how it says he’s fighting in “a completely unorthodox style” unlike how a roman would fight and this is why they aren’t prepared for his assault. it also says the sheer novelty of losing has thrown the defense into chaos. now considering jason is considered a sword master and spent MONTHS with the greeks, it’s safe to assume he’d have trained in their sword fighting methods. yes jason trained in one specific style of combat but so did percy, we just never see a situation where jason has to sword fight all of the greeks. in fact, he even says in house of hades that he struggled with the strict rules of the romans

now let’s get to the meat and potatoes: who would actually win in a fair fight? many people assert percy could and use this quote from mark of athena as evidence:

now if we look at this, we may think this proves anything but it doesn’t. two teenage boys having a pissing contest and each saying they’re better than the other is not evidence that either one actually is. so here’s the relevant parts of the fight that they’re talking about, which happens right before that scene

jason and percy are fighting and jason knocks percy off of his horse with a lightning blast (i would argue that bouncing lightning off of your sword is not predictable). he has his sword six inches from percy’s face when piper distracts him with charmspeak. this gives percy time to recover and he is able to sweep his legs under jason, making him hit his head and fall unconscious. percy almost kills jason until piper is able to charmspeak him. now piper is clearly a variable in this fight seeing as she stopped each of them from killing the other so if you take her out, what happens? easy. jason stabs percy through the face and wins. it is only because piper stopped jason in the first place that percy even had a chance to get that close to killing him at all. sure they are both highly skilled fighters and had he not used lightning, jason might not have won, but he did use the lightning because he has it along with flight and being able to harness air. percy discovered in tartarus that he was able to bend poison to kill akhlys; what happens when jason realizes he can pull the air from peoples’ lungs?

i understand percy is everyone’s favorite but can we please use our brains from time to time? yall hate jason for not being percy and refuse to acknowledge anything that makes him interesting because you base all of your info off of the lost hero in which he spends the majority of the book without a memory so OBVIOUSLY he wouldn’t be super interesting to read. even in his first chapter of the lost hero, he is knocking the socks off of his opponents AND by the end of the book, already learning greek fighting techniques of slashing rather than stabbing

anyway idk how to wrap this up i just want yall to acknowledge that jason is OP

[darkopsiian]

fuck it- the chances of me doing an irl face reveal any time soon is highly unlikely, but i will draw myself on occasion.

my hair is actually that fucking fluffy i'm not exaggerating.. idk i reached 1k subs here and 15k on youtube, so this is the best you're gonna get.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

What are your thoughts on drarry?

spireasalix asked:

Hi! I just found your blog and find your theories really interesting. I don't know if anyone has asked you before, but what do you think of Draco Malfoy? Do you think he would have a chance with Harry? Could they fall in love or there is too much history between them? Let's make Harry/Draco canon! Hahahaha

Hi, thank you so much! 😊

Since it's a ship/character ask I want to preface that everyone can ship what they want and like whatever characters they want and this is my personal highly subjective opinion.

I'll start with my thoughts on Drarry, as I had an arc there, like, back when I just got into the fandom I really liked the concept of Drarry, so I read some Drarry and didn't like most of what I found back then. That dislike kinda colored Drarry and Draco's character as a whole for me, so it was kinda like: "I can see the appeal on paper, but I don't like it". More recently though I read a lot about canon Drarry from @iamnmbr3 and she honestly got me rethinking my opinion on Draco and Drarry.

As I stand on it now, I'm not invested in Drarry, but I see them occasionally on my dash and sometimes I like what I see. It's the: yeah, I can see it happen, but it's not a pairing I'm passionate about.

Now, to @spireasalix more specific questions.

Draco Malfoy is an interesting character in theory but I don't think it comes across in the books as much as it could. Like, in books 1-5, I find him an annoying spoilt little brat. It can be entertaining when he comes on the page, and I know he'd be whining and dramatic and make a scene. And it makes sense Draco is this way, he's an only child of very rich parents who love him, he looks up to his father like Lucius could do no wrong, but he is lonely and attention-seeking. This need for attention is interesting and is part of why he is so obsessed with Harry. It shows he wants approval and is actually quite insecure under all his pride and mean attitude. He was raised to be a blood-supremacist spoilt jerk, and he does a decent job at being a schoolyard bully without crossing any super major lines.

Younger Draco can be a fun character, he's a problem Harry feels comfortable with because he knows how to deal with him, unlike his other problems (of which he has a lot). I think part of why Harry focuses on Draco as much as he does is because Draco is a predictable problem, one Harry feels he has control over how he wants to deal with him. Which is comforting considering how little control he has over literally every other area of his life.

Then in books 6 and 7, that's when Draco starts actually having his character development, and there are interesting things there, or the potential for them. I love what he goes through, becoming a Death eater only to realize, that: no, he can't really do violence. The constant fear for himself and his family, the torture he most likely goes through, being a prisoner in his own home, like, there is so much potential good angst there but I don't feel like the books really take it as far as it can go.

I recently finished my reread of HBP, and Draco in it was having a crap time, truly. He partially brought it on himself, but he really was thrown into the deep end and he is flailing around to keep his head above water regretting ever asking to leave the kiddie pool (because make no mistake, he asked to be in the grown-ups' pool). And you see how he matures there, going from a spoilt brat to a terrified teen. In one summer he went from the top of his own little world to seeing how powerless he actually is. And, like, out of everyone, the person he apparently confides in is Moaning Myrtle, like, idk, I love that, I think this friendship should be mentioned more. Like, Draco is having a crisis over his family, his worldview, his own worth, being a Death Eater and what it means, and his confidant is the ghost of a muggleborn girl who Tom Riddle, his new master, killed. Like, there are some implications.

I find it fascinating Myrtle says this about Draco:

“No,” said Myrtle defiantly, her voice echoing loudly around the old tiled bathroom. “I mean he’s sensitive, people bully him too, and he feels lonely and hasn’t got anybody to talk to, and he’s not afraid to show his feelings and cry!”

(HBP, 462)

That combined with the fact that Draco doesn't ever really try to harm Harry too badly (@iamnmbr3 wrote many great posts about this). Like, at the beginning of HBP, he has Harry petrified and he just breaks his nose. And this is already after he becomes a Death Eater. He also helps Harry multiple times throughout Deathly Hollows, something that places him and his family at risk.

And, yes, he makes some attempts to kill Dumbledore that harm others (the cursed necklace that hurt Katie Bell and the poison Ron drank) but I think the methods he uses are telling. Draco attempts to kill Dumbledore with methods where he himself is far away from the action. You can say it's due to a Slytherin sense of self-preservation, and that's part of it, I'm sure, but I think the main part of it is that Draco is averse to violence. At the end when he was face to face with Dumbledore he couldn't bring himself to cast the curse. Dumbledore was disarmed and surrounded, there was nothing he could've (or would've) done to hurt Draco, but Draco still hesitated. He couldn't kill him even when his own life and his family's were on the line. Harry also talks about how much Draco is likely hurt from having to torture others on Voldemort's orders in Deathly Hollows, and I think Harry is spot on about it.

If we look at the bullying of younger Draco, he doesn't act out violently. He is the cruel words and insults type, and I remember being honestly surprised he physically hit Harry in HBP because it's not the sort of thing Draco does. So, while Draco as schoolyard bully is mean, he practically is never shown to be physically violent, at least not that I remember. He only starts being more of a physical threat in HBP, and in the cases of Ron and Katie, he does so from a distance in a way he isn't directly involved in the violence.

That being said, while what he goes through is interesting and has plenty of potential and I do like his character, I find him kinda annoying. Like, in my very subjective opinion, I find his whining in the early books incredibly annoying and I find him, even in the later books, kinda underwhelming. Like, I want more out of his character, idk. Like, really, all power to you for liking Draco, he just, unfortunately, doesn't make it into my top Harry Potter characters purely because of personal subjective bias.

Like, for all of Draco being a Slytherin from a long line of Slytherins, he doesn't showcase many Slytherin characteristics (yes, that's something I dislike about his character, go figure 🤷‍♀️). Like, Draco isn't cunning, like, at all. He's smart, I'm not saying he isn't, he gets good and even outstanding grades in various school subjects, and he fixes the vanishing cabinet he knows nothing about on his own. He is skilled and talented magically and he can figure out complex magic on his own, but when it comes to long-term planning or general cunning... yeah, I don't think that's part of Draco's arsenal.

He acts out on useful information on the first opportunity he has, with very little thought about timing or how to best use it and very little forethought in general. In 1st year he gets Harry and Co caught outside after curfew but doesn't think his plan through so he too, is caught out after curfew. And sure, he's 11, but 11-year-old Harry wouldn't have made that mistake, I think (neither would Ron or Hermione). In 3rd year, his plan against Buckbeak and Hagrid was laughable and only worked because Lucius could pull it off. I mean, Draco wasn't even doing a good job at faking an injury compared to Harry who could believably pretend to be the Bloody Baron to scare off Peeves at 11, not to mention lying reliably to McGonagall at 12. In GoF he makes these Potter stinks badges, which are magically impressive (considering they still work 3 years later) but are again, an example of Draco acting on something immediately because that's how he tends to operate. Like how he goes straight to Harry every time he finds something in the Daily Prophet to make fun of.

Even if we look at Draco's later plans, like in HBP, he was mostly trying to buy plans rather than think about how to solve his problem. Because Draco knows how to buy his way out of problems, not think his way out. And while all this does make for an interesting trait for him to have in his rule in the story and he has an invisible arc to break away from this thinking pattern and that does lead him to the vanishing cabinet eventually, it does make me like him less. I'm biased, I can't help it.

His ambition is another thing, I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion, but I don't think Draco is particularly ambitious. Like, he wants to make his parents (especially Lucius) proud, he wants people to like him, and he wants to be popular, sure, but he doesn't have any long-term plans or specific goals in mind. He grew up already having everything, so he doesn't really have any ambitions bigger than that. I'm not saying there needs to be, Harry isn't particularly ambitious either, it's just interesting to me that our poster Slytherin in Harry's year isn't that much of a Slytherin at all.

As I mentioned earlier, Draco also seems to be averse to violence and doesn't have as much of a ruthless streak as his house is usually associated with. Draco, at the end of the day, seems to me like a very sheltered kid who idolized war when he heard about it in stories up until he had to actually take part in it. He is one of the softer characters in the books actually, in my opinion.

While I think he definitely values the traits of house Slytherin as he grew up learning to appreciate them, he doesn't actually possess them, at least, not in abundance. Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but honestly, I think Draco is more of a Gryffindor than a Slytherin considering he is brave (in the last book especially. I want to note he isn't the same brave as Harry. Draco fears a lot more than Harry does, but when push comes to shove, he keeps going despite his fear. He's more similar to Neville in that regard), bold, and definitely has his personal code of honor and chivalry he acts according to, but I digress.

My personal issue with Draco is the main issue I have with Drarry as a ship, because, like, I can't be actively invested in a ship when I find one of the characters annoying. I have a similar stance on Romione as I have on Drarry. I like Romione well enough, I enjoy the fanart of them I see, but I wouldn't actively search for fics of them. Neither would I write fics where they are the main pairing. In Romione's case, I love Ron but find Hermione kinda annoying, I don't hate her, I don't even dislike her, I actually like her, but she annoys me. Draco is the same way, I like him, but he just gets on my nerves sometimes.

To summarise, I see the appeal of Drarry, and I can see how it could work on paper. I don't think Harry and Draco ever truly hated each other in the books, so, yeah, I think they could get together. They could definitely forgive each other everything, hell, the books practically outright say they forgive each other everything in canon. I think you can build a very compelling love story for them, it's just not a story I'm invested in reading/writing mostly because Draco isn't a character that I'm overly invested in.

[mayabruhbruh]

What do you think of the possibility of Will and Chance happening? I feel like it would be really poor writing tbh but I feel like they will give Will a different love interest because they’ll try to make all of the audience „happy“ But that would just truly not align with the writing so far I feel like.

Love your analyses btw<3

THANK YOUU! That's so kind :) And great ask! This is definitely a topic that the ST fandom needs to discuss.

The default question when people have little to no hope in Byler is, well, who the hell is Will going to end up with? Because it’s become increasingly evident that they’re trying to set him up for a romance. The “im not gonna fall in love”, the “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls”, even the gif shown above. It all can be interpreted to mean that Will is going to find his person soon.

So... to be completely honest, I had no idea who Chance was until this ask popped up and I had to look him up💀. It’s been a while since I’ve been on here, so I’m a little rusty on the deep lore lmao. So, in the off chance that others might also be confused, here’s a (rare) gif of him I found.

I think that’s him with the Hawkins cap on the right. Correct me if I’m wrong.

I’m not sure where the rumors that this guy was going to become a bigger part of the show came from, but that seems highly unlikely to me. I feel like they would have either hinted at it in the fourth season (like how they’re giving Patrick here quite a sizeable role so that he’ll be memorable to us later when he gets vecnafied) or they would have announced him as a more prominent character already like how they did for s5 with Holly, that one new kid character, and also how they did Amybeth for s4. Idk, maybe it’s unreasonable to think they would have to do that, but it feels quite too out-of-the-blue. Especially for a character that would take on the role of becoming our central character’s love interest, which is a BIG DEAL. Especially if it’s queer lol.

Secondly, I firmly believe that it would be a disservice to Will’s own desires to meet someone new.

Will said this explicitly in the van scene, and as of now, we’re still under the impression that Mike is his person. Forget about Mike’s issues and feelings for a second, and think about what Will is saying here. He feels like a mistake for being different, but Mike makes him feel like he’s not a mistake at all, that he’s better for being different. Mike gives him courage to fight on. Fuck. Tbh, it makes me wonder how long he’d felt this way. As a byler, you might be inclined to think his feelings have been on for forever, but narratively, he could have easily just realized his own feelings very recently, most likely sometime between season 3 and 4. It doesn’t mean the feelings weren’t there before, but realistically neither Will nor the general audience were aware of it before now.

Moving on.

Has anyone heard of the rule of Chekhov’s gun? It’s an incredibly clever and widely-used tool in screenwriting and storytelling in general that helps to clue the watchers in for what’s to come next.

Think of Lucas’ wrist rocket in season 1. When they introduced it as a flimsy-looking, no-good weapon that he’d put too much pride in at first, it gives us a good laugh and we move on. But really, it very meticulously set us up to subconsciously anticipate to see it again later. That’s what Chekhov’s gun is all about. Set-ups, foreshadowing, hidden treasures.

Another great example would be the painting reveal of s4. Obviously, after finding out that Will was painting something, bylers immediately figured it was for Mike and BEGGED and HOPED and PLEADED that we’d be able to finally see it, but to the general audience it was just another something that they’d have to pick apart and realize was actually of importance as the season progressed. (It’s also a good way of showing that the writers are fully capable of engrossing the entire fan base and general audience in his and Mike’s story. Just knowing Will had painted something and that it was for Mike created this sense of PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IT IS AND WJATS GOING ON and whatnot that watchers are simply so susceptible to it’s insane.)

Okay, back to the van scene. Will’s confession.

Now, I’m not saying that the writers intentionally used this foreshadowing tool for us to find and understand immediately. There are plenty, plenty of instances where writers use Chekhov’s gun principle and it flies over peoples heads purposefully. What I’m trying to say is that, thematically and narratively, they would never have introduced Wills feelings for Mike if not for it to have importance to the story, or for nothing to happen with it at all. It’s a set up. And a maddeningly good one, at that. Because queer stories already do tend to fly over people’s heads, and also because there’s the added drama between Mike and Eleven that makes it seem quite impossible for any of these feelings to be addressed in the midst of such emotional chaos. But whatever. I think I’m rambling.

Basically, whether they end up together or not, whether Mike reciprocates these feelings, Will is forever established to be in love with Mike. The confession was simply too grand and emotional and earnest for him to just switch up abruptly next season when he meets someone new that he might have a better chance with. Even if there were to be a whole new arc for him where he learns to let go of Mike or something crappy like that, it would be terrible writing on their end and poor use of a well-set-up Chekhov’s gun reference. It would be like introducing the gun in the display case in scene one, then two scenes later just tucking it away into a storage closet for the remainder of the story. Like… what?

And plus, it’s HIGHLY unlikely that Will would end up with that sort of storyline next season when he’s literally WITH Mike for presumably a majority of the time (based on the set pics so far).

So that’s my debunking of the Chance rumors :) and I didn’t even get to mention how incompatible they’d be just naturally as characters. Chance, a Jason-following jock that hates Dungeons and Dragons, fantasy and nerdy things, and willingly assisted in beating up the Hellfire Club when they were trying to find Eddie. What about that at all screams Will’s type? And if you’re thinking “unconventional couple enemies to lovers”, just don’t. This isn’t a rom-com, especially for a queer plot line lol. I think it’s safe to say there’s no “chance”😉 that they will ever happen. And either way, it’d be a bummer if they did. Cus it would just be Will defeatedly settling for someone that isn’t Mike.

UGH! It makes me sad that the one thing that is firmly being teased by the writers (Will’s love playing a major role in the plot to come) is constantly being questioned and framed as different questions. “Will Mike reciprocate?” “Does this mean Mike and Eleven break up?” “Who will end up with who?” SHHH Frankly, to me this is already a win. It’s become obvious that Will having feelings for him will come up again soon, and the rest of the evidence that accounts for Mike’s end already speaks for itself, so I prefer to just sit back and watch it all unfold.

Again, thanks so much for the ask!! This was so fun to dissect and feel free to keep sending questions into my inbox. It might take me a second to post my response but I’m determined to get through all of them. Love you guys!! <3

[nattikay]

this was originally a response to another post but it seems OP blocked me for it so idk if people can still see/interact with said response but heck it i spent a fair while collecting the panels/typing it up so i'm just transferring it over to a new post for anyone else who might be interested in readin'

"Neteyam has to act like a full grown adult [and we should feel bad for him because of this]"

No. Neteyam acts mature because that's his personality, not because it's been forced on him. He chooses to. The idea that he is forced against his will to "act grown-up" and is miserable about it is fanon, not canon.

James Cameron on Neteyam (from the WoW bonus features): "Jamie Flatters plays Neteyam, he's the older brother. He's kind of the guy who most wants to be Jake. He wants to be that warrior."

Jamie Flatters in that same clip:"He just pretty much wants to walk in the footsteps of his father. He's constantly seeking approval [from Jake]"

Note that neither of these, nor anything from the movie or comics, mention anything about external "expectations" or "pressure". Any "pressure" Neteyam experiences to live up to Jake's legacy comes from himself, not from external expectations that have been forced on him. Neteyam WANTS to be a warrior. He WANTS to be like his father and do brave mature grown-up things.

And for the most part, he's pretty good at it too. He's the "golden child" who "excels in all things", the youngest Omatikaya warrior to ever make a clean kill on a sturmbeest. He's strong, smart, brave, noble, and highly skilled for his age.

He knows this, and he wants to do more. Neteyam seeks out more responsibility, especially where fighting is concerned, and it's actually Jake who is hesitant to give it to him, because naturally he fears for his son's life (a very fair and well-founded fear, all things considered :P).

In fact, on the rare occasion that Neteyam does disobey orders, it's in this context of wanting to be part of these adult matters.

"he's too busy training and patrolling instead of acting his age" He is acting his age. His age is "cusp of adulthood". He's not quite there just yet, no, but he's getting close and is eager to get there. He trains and patrols with his parents because HE WANTS TO. He begs to participate in warrior's work.

And if by "act his age" you meant "do teenager things like tease his brother, snicker about immature things, hang out and goof off," etc., guess what he does that too

[originally had a list of relevant GIFs here but tumblr decided it was allergic to them apparently; anyways you can find them all here]

As for looking after his siblings, as a certified Oldest Sibling™ myself, I can assure you that parents expecting you to help look out for and set a good example for your younger siblings is very normal and nowhere near the mountain the fandom seems to make of this molehill.

There are valid reasons to feel sorry for Neteyam—he, like the rest of his family, had to leave his home and start over in a new unfamiliar place among a new clan of strangers with unfamiliar customs. He—not unlike Lo'ak!—desperately wants a chance to prove himself to Jake, and is frustrated when his dad doesn't want to let him participate in battle. And, of course, the big one—his life was tragically taken far too soon.

But "overworked little sadboi who just wants to Be A Kid™ but can't because his meanie parents force him to act like a Grownup™ because he's under Pressure™ to be the perfect future olo'eyktan" is not one of those reasons. That's pure fanfiction and a fundamental misunderstanding of his character. Neteyam is not "wannabe-carefree kid trapped under the crushing weight of expectations forced upon him against his will"—rather, he is "talented noble young warrior who wants to live up to his legendary father of his own volition and strives to do so".

[blog-name-idk]

The Plot Twist | 01

Summary: Once upon a time you would have jumped at the chance to live the idol girlfriend life. The cameras, the action, the whirlwind romance. But what was once a dream has now become your worst nightmare, and you fully intend to fight the universe as it repeatedly conspires to set you up with your seven perfectly good soulmates from Bangtan Sonyeondan.

In which we punt Y/N into all the fanfiction tropes and you do your feral best to subvert the love story.

Because nani the fuck, you are The Plot Twist.

Pairing: OT7 X Fem!Reader

Genre: Soulmate!AU, crack, humor, idol!AU, light angst, slow burn, romantic comedy, just a fun silly old time

Rating: 18+

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AN: Hello all!

This is a fic that is being co-written by @blog-name-idk and @eserethriddle (who also has their own crack/soulmate subversion AU which is INCREDIBLE and HILARIOUS go read it). The inspiration for this fic was that one meme about the anime protagonist avoiding their fate, and then it became a monster. We are having a great time writing this and we hope you enjoy it as well!

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Chapter 1: "What are soulmates, even?"

A prevailing belief amongst the aging population of overbearing parents is that an unattached woman, of average birth and social standing, professionally situated in one of the high-rise buildings in modern-day Seoul, must be in natural want of three things the very morning she turns twenty-five: an envelope of birthday money, a spa coupon, and a blind date prospect. Society’s elders allege that the advent of the twenty-fifth age prompts the rightful transition of the child-minded miss into a full woman, the barest hints of her girlish whims to be cast aside for her foray into the next, imperative stage of life.

Ha! Whatever the hell that next stage is, you have absolutely no care, no inclination to find out. Altruistic as they pretend to be, those very same elders are possibly bored, amateur matchmakers, or worse: aspiring grandparents.

You have your own priorities. You're living the good, simple life of binge-eating all the snacks you can now afford, buying questionable decorations for your single-bedroom loft, and, with undeniable consistency, sleeping in and gaming at ambiguous hours. Half-baked attempts at health fads and investments in miracle under-eye creams notwithstanding, you're barely halfway through your twenties but already living the dream!

Whatever that happens to you after this point? Unimportant. You have all the time in the world and your inner child to appease.

Heavy footfalls thump across the wooden floor of your bedroom, abruptly pulling you from the safehaven of your subconscious. The shrill, scraping noise of your floor-to-ceiling curtains being pulled open flag your internal alarm, but the matronly scolding that greets your senses, voiced in a too-familiar hometown dialect, subdues it just as quickly as it comes.

Burying your face into your pillow with a weak groan, you resign yourself to the loss of another wonderful morning spent in bed.

You should have known this would happen. As long as this woman breathes you will never know true peace.

“Eomma.” You scowl, throwing your blanket to the side as you sit upright on the bed. “This is exactly why I moved out.”

“Bah! Look at you!” your mother scoffs as she takes in your bedraggled appearance. “I booked you an appointment at The Deluxe and instead you want to waste it?” Busying herself all over the room, bending over and picking up litter – the remains of your night's valiant efforts – she crows, “And all these junk food wrappers on the floor! You pigged out, playing those games all night again!”

Well… yes, there was no denying that. It had taken you until early hours of the dawn (and three much needed, middle-of-the-night, rage-reducing convenience store trips) to reach your current savepoint in-game. Although it seems highly unlikely that your mother would be impressed by your latest feat at Super Mario – Kaizo, because somewhere inside you rests an unlovable, masochistic monster – you still cannot find it in yourself to want to change the way you had spent the previous night given half the chance.

Your mother, bless her old-fashioned heart, is simply predisposed to worry about your dubious gamer-slash-working-girl lifestyle, which, not only being within her rights, is also completely understandable! So as long as you kept up visible effort at maintaining the “beauty sleep and charm regimen” she swore by, she usually fell somewhere between unbothered and complacent.

But no. Not today.

"What did you threaten the landlord with to get the key this time?" you query under your breath, too quiet for her to hear. Sleep-addled as you are, you still have some sense of self-preservation.

It just… doesn’t help that your whole face looks as puffy as it feels. Judging by the tight set of your mother’s mouth also reflected by your bedside mirror, her slanted eyes pinned on you, you're sure she’s set to try and advertise the benefits of gua sha within the next minute.

Clearly, getting your own apartment had afforded you more freedom, but not the complete detachment you had been hoping for. And that was fine – every so often you do have the solo-living blues and miss her grapevine chitchat – it just isn’t apparent to you now in your half-comatose state, berated even before you have a chance to obtain caffeine.

Sighing in defeat, you move up and lean against the headboard. Your swollen eyes try to peek past the door frame, to no success. There’s an undeniably hopeful lilt to your voice when you ask, “So appa’s here, too?”

“Ha! That man drank himself silly, crying all night long!” At the mention of your father, your mother’s tone transitions from frenzied to fond, soft mirth dancing in the brown of her eyes. “‘Starting tomorrow she won’t be my girl no more,’ he’d said! It was a right mess! Your uncles had to help me carry him home…” she prattles.

Rounding the bed as she makes her way to you, she pulls you close to her chest, surrounding you with the comforting, familiar scent of her – and your – favorite laundry detergent and the faint smell of the kimchi she had for breakfast. She places a doting kiss on the top of your head then assures you in a rather soft murmur, “Sorry, sweetheart. He’s not here. He was so down he couldn’t even get out of bed, but he’ll call you later when he feels better, I’m sure.”

“Alright,” you concede, melting into her embrace and choosing to let her love bloom in your chest instead. Sometimes you complain about her lightning-fast mood changes from holy terror to loving mother, but after twenty-five years of being your appa’s girl, you figure you can give her this one morning. You snuggle into her. “Thanks for coming over, eomma. I can already smell the seaweed soup.”

“Of course, dear. I heated it up. Happy birthday.” She angles your face upward and pinches your cheeks.

You groan and paw at her to fight her off, but the playful moment is broken when she holds your face hostage and threatens very seriously, “If you don’t make it to the appointment, I’ll drive you to that speed-dating event in Hannam myself. I know for a fact they’re taking walk-ins tonight.”

“But eomma…” you whine, feeling like a fool for letting her motherly love lull you into a false sense of security, “I’m the birthday girl! Shouldn’t I get to decide my itinera–”

A familiar gleam flashes in her eyes and you immediately pinch your lips shut.

You may have gotten your father’s dimpled smile, but the stubborn fire in your spirit, the fierce glow of your gaze… These are the attributes that make you a famed corporate demon and Nintendo speedrunner.

These traits are also definitely, absolutely, undeniably from your mother. And alas, she has had more years and recognition in perfecting her technique.

With the Hyundai car keys twirling around her index finger, you just know she’ll make good on her threat. Your mother, dramatic as she can be, is bull-headed enough to follow through on every ridiculous warning she makes.

Another quality you yourself have inherited.

Glancing at the clock, you scramble off your mess of sheets and pillows and hastily set your feet onto the hardwood floor. Chuckling nervously as you avoid the course of consoles and controllers strewn about the room, you wonder aloud, for no reason at all, “The appointment has a fifteen-minute grace period… right?”

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

You don’t know what happened after stepping into The Deluxe, not exactly. Scrambling past the morning rush on foot, desperate to avoid all kinds of traffic in your anxious, sleep-deprived state, you barely even recall getting to the spa’s reception area in time.

Upon confirming your appointment, a chic lady handed you a satin robe and ushered you into a private room, pointing you to your assigned spa bed with a gentle, amicable smile. Hypnotizing oils and calming tones sang to your senses, beckoning you to slumber with the promise of warmth and safety. The moment the lights dimmed and the massage therapist placed her hands on you, kneading your stiff shoulders, total exhaustion had taken over and you’d blacked out. An instant, indisputable K.O.

When you woke up it felt like you had re-spawned. Misplaced and mistakenly rearranged, put back together in a whole different body. You weren’t even sure if a body spa was all that had happened… You wonder for a moment if you might have been secretly brainwashed and implanted with a trigger command to kill an unsuspecting prime minister somewhere down the line, but you figure the gods have something else planned for a plain shut-in like you. Surely something less cinematic?

Seeing your reflection in the mirror, your split ends gone and your hair somehow now highlighting your best features, your face made up… Well, now it's clear that a lot more had happened to you. Your skin feels creamy to the touch and smells like rich patchouli, your nails are trimmed and painted ballet pink. You doubt their in-house aestheticians had taken one look at you – dehydrated and soulless to the brim – and voluntarily offered their services… Perhaps your mother did splurge and book you the full blowout package.

In that case, considering the luxurious upkeep of The Deluxe, you send your mother a heartfelt message of thanks followed by a cheerful selfie before finally stepping out to stroll through the nearby streets of Yongsan.

Unlike your usual self, you actually feel good. Very, very good. Beautiful, and rested.

Who wouldn’t love turning twenty-five if this was all it entailed?

As you make your way across the uptown plaza, the phone in your tote bag vibrates suddenly, chiming its innocent, dulcet tones. You stop, retrieve the gadget, and stare at the institution-registered number on the display screen of your phone before clicking to accept the call.

“Hello?” you answer tentatively, hoping you're not about to get called for jury duty.

“Good day. Is this L/N F/N?”

“Yes, but who…?”

“I am Junior Liaison Officer Choi Mijin from the Ministry of Korean Domestic Affairs. I understand you turned twenty-five today, L/N F/N-ssi. In accordance with Republic Act 134340 promulgated January of this year, this is your mandatory communication from the Soulmate Registry Department. May I proceed with the orientation, or is this a bad time?”

“Huh?”

Did she just say soulmate…?

You blink once. Just ten meters from where you stood, a squealing toddler startles and chases away a flock of unsuspecting pigeons perched on the brickstone plaza, wings fluttering against air and cobble. The cacophony washes over you in a raucous echo.

You blink again, stupefied. “Sorry, what?”

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

“I understand this must be confusing for you. Although our record here indicates that your parents are soulmates, L/N F/N-ssi?”

“M-My parents?” you stammer. There was that word again!

Despite your obvious bewilderment, Junior Liaison Officer Choi Mijin remains unfazed. Not missing a beat, she draws in a quick breath and launches into a clearly scripted monologue: “Historically speaking, the Soulmate Phenomenon was first observed to affect a significant percentage of the adult human population by sociological groups and academic societies. Throughout the years, in tandem with the discoveries of international research institutes and medical community programs based locally, the national government has authorized a domestic agency to advise the public on matters that directly concern their health, relationships, and cosmological well-being. The current research consensus theorizes this phenomenon to be amplified by genetics, meaning that those with parents who are soulmates are highly likely to experience the phenomenon themselves. On these grounds, to offer you a better civilian life, we at the Soulmate Registry Department would like to confirm if you, L/N F/N-ssi, have been experiencing symptoms relating to this phenomenon…?”

You don't reply, locked in a cage of dumbfounded silence. Junior Liaison Officer Choi Mijin simply continues as response, “If so, I am pleased to report that cosmic interference will now rise to thirty-eight percent, with a ten percent margin of error per day, per soulmate–”

“Cosmic interference?” you interrupt, still quite lost in disbelief. "Per soulmate? What?”

"It's possible to have more than one soulmate," replies the desk worker, matter-of-fact. In rehearsed evenness, she elaborates, "It is the department's official advice for soulmates to initiate friendship at first introduction. Otherwise, aggravated cosmic interference can be expected, and may even escalate to public duress."

“Aggravated…? Duress? Uh, give me a second.” You pinch the flesh of your arm. “Ow.”

Eventually, after getting some of your thoughts in order, you manage to ask, "But what if I answered that I wasn't experiencing any of the symptoms? That I don't have a… soul-mate?" The word slides weird and heavy off your tongue.

"Ah. In such cases, please do not be alarmed. The natural implication is that you may continue to live life as usual," the girl's tinny voice reassures. "If you do not have a soulmate then you will not be subjected to visual, somatic, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, or gustatory anomalies. This kind of life is plain, but also advantageous, in its own way."

…Too much. This is just too much.

“But what if I do? What if I do have a soulmate, but I don't want to acknowledge it? What if I want to keep my life as it is?"

Choi Mijin pauses, not having a prepared response for the first time.

"Hm? Let me look that up." After audible typing noises and the near-infinite scrolling of her computer mouse carrying over, she finally speaks again. "Hmm. Nah. Nope. Not in our F.A.Q.’s. I wouldn’t not advise against that, no.”

Those were so many negatives you don’t even know what had been implied in the first place.

“I could forward the call to my supervisor," Mijin suggests, trying to be helpful. “The average standby time is one hour and forty minutes. Do you want me to?”

Massaging your temple with your free hand, you attempt to ignore the blooming headache ruining your prior good mood. "I… guess not? I’m not experiencing anything, Choi Mijin-ssi. That just means I don’t have… a soulmate… right?”

Mijin makes a grunt of assent. "Correct. If you did have a soulmate, you’d have to submit forms DR-2a and FS-3c to our main office in Hongdae. There are housing subsidies, minimal tax deductions, and life insurance programs that can be applied for.”

You do not know what else to say. Of course bureaucracy would somehow be involved in the systematization of the soulmate phenomena. You clear your throat and settle for, “Ah.”

“For now, L/N F/N-ssi, your status with us is PR - Pending Registry. Please confirm your status with us in person within the year, else the aforementioned benefits are considered irredeemable. Late registration is prohibited by the Ministry of Korean Domestic Affairs. This is only to ensure civilian and public safety, you understand?”

“Um.”

You look down, stare at your sandaled feet.

You can feel your toes, yes. You're alive, yes. You look at your hands and see all five fingers.

This is real life, yes.

“Yeah, okay. I understand… I think. Hmm. Yes.”

“Great. And, ah, happy birthday. I guess. Twenty-five sure is… something.” Ever since the beginning of the conversation, it is only at this moment that the liaison officer’s tone betrays her professional disposition. Despite your inner turmoil, you do feel for the girl on telephone duty as she sighs and says, “I’m really not paid enough for this.”

The line goes dead, and you’re left to pretend your world has not just shot off its axis.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Kim Namjoon loves the chaos that is his fucking life.

It’s just. He constantly struggles to be the pillar of peace in the middle of it all.

"What are soulmates, even," whines Namjoon. "People who share the same taste in music? People who finish each other's–"

"–sandwiches?" Jeon Jungkook suggests, throwing a hopeful look at the snack in Namjoon’s hand.

Namjoon sighs in defeat and tosses the gremlin his sandwich. It’s gone in seconds.

No, really. Namjoon loves his life. Despite the near-chronic muscle ache and subtle paranoia that comes with baring his artistic, musical persona at a global scale on the daily, Namjoon still truly believes his life is wonderful. It’s meaningful, it’s spontaneous, and he never feels stuck. In fact, he gets to wake up assured that the world has something new planned for him. He gets to navigate life with a profound sense of purpose each day because he gets to rise from bed, head to the bathroom, take a look in the mirror and complain, “Which one of you did this bullshit?!” in countless, exasperated variations.

Because he is truly, utterly blessed.

Namjoon collapses against the plush armchair and rests his legs on the coffee table (yes, like a neanderthal), reinvestigating the faint bruising he’d found this morning on his limbs. Reaching over, he presses on his blemished skin and feels nothing.

“Taehyung’s been practicing cartwheels again,” he realizes.

The entirety of it had overwhelmed Namjoon, at first. Despite his height, he’d acted like a giddy kid about it, because nobody else in his family had – or even seriously regarded the concept of – soulmates. The library books he’d consulted said he was unlikely to experience the phenomena for himself, and so he’d thought what was happening to him was some type of ghost experience, shamanistic punishment, or hallucination that accompanied the grievances of becoming older. That his mind had finally reached its breaking point. Since he was, after all, for the past ten years, what people would refer to as, overworked.

Mm-hmm. Indeed.

From Ilsan to Seoul, desperate only to chase his dream and share his love for the written cadence, he’d found six of the most precious, talented, hardworking, beautiful people he would be happy to maim and kill each godforsaken already-late-for-our-schedule morning instead. It had been a running joke amongst the staff that the group only survived their initial years in the industry through their unmatched chemistry, but once the youngest of them all – Jungkook – turned twenty-five? Everything clicked.

The team wasn’t just a team.

Namjoon still thinks about it a lot. The evolutionary metaphysical logistics of it all. How, upon turning twenty-five, the human “cosmologically matures,” and with the prefrontal cortex of the human brain fully developed, its high cognitive reflex for recognizing patterns in daily life is traded for identifying patterns in the amalgamation of the universal consciousness instead.

It’s some high-level, fucked-up, oddly wholesome matrix shit.

Along with its regulations, the national registry for soulmates had only been established earlier this year. And though Namjoon would have appreciated any primer on the shared experiences he’d soldiered through with the boys, it was nothing short of a miracle that they had all met, grown, and gotten this far together since the beginning. In place of scars they had anecdotes of each other, kept and cherished all the same. Mountains of memories, good times and bad…

A decade. Ten years since they had shared their first greetings at a rundown garage, bright-eyed with the single aspiration of producing heartfelt, healing music.

Ten whole years.

The matter at hand is what happens now. With their original ten-year contract fulfilled, all the shows and radio stations only seem capable of talking about (read: dissing on) Bangtan Sonyeondan. So-called “experts” and industry seniors hinging on their disbandment. Like the seven of them had made it to the top, and now was high-time to let the accolades go and freefall.

Namjoon wants to scream and curse and tell them all off and yet…

All seven of them are at a standstill. One wrong move could push all seven of them off the ledge, off the pedestal of their own making. Their contracts are hybridized now, solo and group opportunities taken into serious consideration. Clauses had been inserted for mixed agency projects, brand endorsements, business ventures, and, most importantly, well-earned rest.

The immense physical and emotional battery of being in an idol boyband, the relentless media scrutiny, the hardship of being isolated and away from home – none of them wanted another ten-year repeat. The legal discussion of it had been fruitful, but in the aftermath the grueling effort had sucked the – bear with him on this – soul out of them.

And it wasn’t just Namjoon. At the latest dinner everyone had admitted to feeling… off. Petty bickering had been frequent lately, uneasy afternoons as well as uncharacteristic detachment. Moodiness. Namjoon’s afraid to put a name on it, but it doesn’t make it any less true.

Could depression be shared through their soulmate bond? God, Namjoon hopes not. So many things could happen, and this time, no amount of planning makes it seem possible to control. It feels like something else. Something familiar but new and oddly foreboding.

Well. Whatever the hell it is, Namjoon doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like it one bit.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Instead of attending the blind date event for dinner, you find yourself standing at the porch of your parents’ diner instead.

Your father hurriedly shuffles to the doorway to usher you in, struggling to hide his excitement with the bogus scowl he plasters on his face.

“Young lady, why are you here?” he admonishes. Deciding to act preoccupied, he starts wiping down the tabletops, grumbling all the while, “Shouldn’t you be at that event in Hannam? Your mother said you wouldn’t have the time…”

You want to march over and hug your appa. You know what he’s really asking, why he’s glancing nervously past your shoulder. You’re here? Does that mean you’ve met the one who will replace me as your most important person? The government people nagged us about registering and they said in the future you might find yourself in this soulmate business too and you’re my little girl but… are you still?

You playfully nudge him by the shoulders with a bump of your own. “Naw, but don’t tell eomma I skipped it.”

Your father's lips twitch but then settle into a secretive smile. You both know that The Madame would drag you back by the scruff of your neck if she knew. And possibly send your father to the doghouse.

For some reason you can’t fathom, it frightens your mother to see you living the bachelorette life so well. Despite their being soulmates, her opinion is at complete odds with your father's, who basks in the joy of being the most important man in your life. And while you can kind of understand where your mother is coming from, chasing after boys… filling your heart with sweet nothings and butterflies… You’re not thirteen anymore. You're past that phase now. You know better than to put all of your romantic hopes and dreams into something that will inevitably let you down.

“Maybe that kind of thing isn’t for me, appa.” you admit. “You and eomma found each other, that’s good enough for me.”

Your father glances at you as he flips the store sign from open to closed, and says, solemnly, “Wildflower, you never know what the universe has planned.”

You take a deep breath, shoulders pinched. “But…”

“But what? But you don’t want love?”

“Appa…”

Your mother walks in through the backdoor. When she sees you next to your appa, her eyes shine with happiness.

They’re your eyes, too.

Your father hums. “Look at you. The best of both of us.”

Because It’s fine. You’re fine. You don’t need a soulmate. Your happiness couldn’t possibly be dictated by a cosmic phenomenon. Your life is beautiful, and simple, and enough. The things that you have, the love around you – they’re already more than what you deserve.

You pluck off a spare apron and help out with the rest of closing. Your father brings out his special blend of makgeolli and leaves you in-charge of hotpot prep for dinner. Drunk in just two bottles of soju, your parents compete about who had cooked the better seaweed soup, crooning absurd versions of the happy birthday song until you yield and promise to stay the night.

Chatting with them, laughing yourself to tears, you completely miss the double-decker bus that passes out front.

Unlike most city buses, this one has its exterior gorgeously laminated in purple, black, and gold. The vehicle is sleekly rendered with congratulatory greetings for the tenth anniversary of an all-male idol group, along with well-wishes of their fans upon the announcement of their individual pursuits as artists.

Your mother squints quizzically at the fan-made bus as it passes, an arm lifting to point it out to you. In her drunken haze though, she barely manages a garbled whine before her head bows and drops onto the table with a soft thunk.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

In the backseat of his custom-interior Palisade, Park Jimin groans, letting his face fall into his palms.

How is it even possible to get stood up at a speed-dating event? When he’d gotten there, everyone had already been paired up, and sure, work had held him up and made him late, but weren’t people supposed to turn up no matter what? Damn. Maybe the organizers were right. Maybe he is at the age and status nobody wants to be matched with anymore.

God, Taehyung is going to make so much fun of him for this.

The only silver lining is that this means Namjoon and Sejin can't chew him out for being "irresponsible" and "putting himself in danger." But come on, no one would believe that a member of BTS would have to resort to a speed-dating event. When he's bare-faced the worst that could happen would be for someone to say he kind of resembles Park Jimin. Probably.

Yes, he has six great soulmates he loves with all his heart. But he loves five of them like brothers. He does want something more, and it's gotten to the point where seeing an old man pushing his wife's wheelchair brought him to tears. Or as Jungkook would say – he wants a soulmate that makes his privates happy, not just his heart.

Is it that so much to ask for? He knows he’s already lucky. So lucky, far luckier than most of the world. He's blessed to have one soulmate, let alone six. The success of BTS wouldn't have been possible without everyone's hard work, but there are many groups that work just as hard and never see the light of day.

Maybe he just needs space. Maybe he should get his own apartment, spend some time outside of the house he shares with his six partners in crime. Somewhere he can just be Park Jimin, a boy looking for love, and not Jimin of BTS.

With a renewed sense of purpose, he grabs his phone and starts looking at listings.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Masterlist | Next

[seriousbrat]

you said james changed but did he? no apology in sight... still tricking lily and going behind her back to hex snape.. leaving his wife and newborn alone in their secret hiding spot to mess with muggles..

genuinely lol what is this 'leaving their hiding spot to mess with muggles' thing, I think you're the second anon who has claimed something like that recently and it's like.... where lmao. when did that happen? who r these muggles? 😭

if you're referring to the prequel, that was almost certainly, like 100% certainly, before harry was born when lily and james were fighting for the Order along with the rest of the Marauders and not in hiding. This is what Lily says, years later, in her letter to Sirius:

James is getting a bit frustrated shut up here, he tries not to show it but I can tell -- also, Dumbledore's still got his Invisibility Cloak, so no chance of little excursions. If you could visit, it would cheer him up so much.

doesn't that imply he wasn't sneaking out? and if he had left the hiding spot in the past it was "little excursions" with Lily's full knowledge and approval, with the safety of the cloak. I don't see the big deal, and it's possible that Lily was leaving the house on occasion too when they had the cloak.

people are so determined to see things in the worst possible light it's kind of funny. It's not enough that James was a dickhead and a bully in canon, he has to be this insidious abusive master manipulator guy who somehow conned Lily "you make me SICK" Evans into marrying her and having a kid with him. Like, no offence but it's just not that deep.

We don't see how he changed because the story isn't about him, it's about his son, but there's plenty of evidence that he did, a BIG example being that a girl who couldn't stand the sight of him and was extremely vocal about the fact ended up marrying him. Something changed, and it's just highly unlikely that James, a fictional character, constructed an elaborate ruse behind the scenes that we see no evidence for to trick Lily, and every other character, into thinking he was an entirely different person. If that had been the author's intent for these characters who, btw, do not exist outside the text we're given, there would be proof of it. Rather, we're given evidence he 'deflated his head' and that lily fell in love with him and that they were happy together.

I've already said it but I don't think James not telling her about fighting with Snape (who, let it be said, at that point was also instigating) is a good thing. Obviously. It's dishonest and he should have told her. But I also think a likely reason he didn't tell her was not wanting to hurt her. That doesn't make it okay, but there can be problems and slip-ups and things to work through in a relationship without it being some big evil insidious manipulation.

Sev hid all sorts of things from her too, important things like "I'm thinking about joining the Death Eaters btw lol". People lie and hide things, especially teens. Maybe the simplest explanation here, rather than this weird jamespiracy thing, is that a seventeen year old boy was kind of shit sometimes but ultimately dedicated his life to protecting others, fought bravely in a war, grew tf up, and sacrificed himself to save his wife and child.

idk like to me it's not that deep, and it's continually bonkers to me that some snape fans will have wildly different standards for their innocent baby boy (idk him) than they do for every other character. bro did way worse stuff than not telling his gf he was getting into fights, james did worse stuff, and yet I still love them both and u wont convince me not to

[centers-for-disease-control]

I thought this would be a more silly thing to send and perhaps a good ask to add stuff about avian flu

And the ID copied from the post:

[I.D. Sketch of a snake looking over the edge of a bed saying "Good morning! This is your snake up call!" It uses its tail to hold up an egg and say "I even made you breakfast! It is a single raw egg". The snake puts the egg on the bed and says "I don't know how to cook". End I.D.]

(omnybus on tumb now, idk if the link will work)

So, HPAI (Highly Pathogenic Avian Influenza) is a disease that is highly contagious and deadly among poultry. It is highly unlikely for humans to contract bird flu from consuming commercial egg products, though it is even less likely if you prepare the eggs and store them properly before consumption. However, with eating raw eggs, it does increase your chances of contracting food poisoning, so it is recommended that you cook your eggs before consumption.

Also @omnybus just in case your link doesn't work

[wimbledon2008]

so i just finished the captive prince series about a week ago and am rereading it now. just finished the hello lover scene and honestly im still so confused over what's going on in laurent's head lmao like??

was he previously compartmentalizing his resentment so well that real feelings developed, but now he finally has a chance to truly let his anger out, he's locking down the positive feelings?

was he being truthful about manipulating damen the whole time (highly unlikely to me)? or was the cruelty in and of itself a play, either to push damen away despite not actually wanting to, or some other convoluted reason? bc damen really would have done anything he asked, trying to outmaneuver him like that was unnecessary.

my first theory feels the most right to me, and he just needed more time to process and purge his desire for revenge but idk im a taurus and very akielon coded. i love laurent but i do not understand that man lol

okay, disclaimer, i haven't read the books in quite some time so this probably isn't the fullest or deepest analysis. i welcome any additions or corrections from those who are better at meta than me <3

so the hello lover scene is incredibly complex and nuanced, a standard of pacat's writing that makes his works so infinitely re-readable. based on my personal understanding of the scene, there are a few key things that help to explain why laurent behaves the way he does in the tent scene:

1. laurent needs damen and the akielons to win against his uncle, which he very much wants to do. charcy didn't go how he'd originally planned, and he knows damen is pissed about it and probably thinks the worst of laurent right now - that he intentionally abandoned the akielons at charcy for his own purposes. so laurent is being manipulative; he is trying to outmaneuver damen. because what damen says is true: laurent has no allies, no friends, he's ruined his reputation by aligning himself with akielos, etc. we as the readers know that damen cares deeply for laurent and wouldn't just abandon him, and if laurent simply explained what happened and asked damen to help him, damen wouldn't hesitate to stay at his side. but laurent doesn't think damen has any reason to trust him, so laurent can't trust damen either. so instead of being honest, he chooses to be cold-blooded, to assert control over the situation and force damen's hand to ensure that the alliance he worked so hard to establish stays intact. he could've just asked, but this is laurent, and there are other factors at play, such as the fact that

2. laurent is already in love with damen by the tent scene, or at least most of the way there. but laurent can no longer pretend damen is anyone other than the person who killed his brother. damen walks into that tent as prince damianos, in full akielon regalia, covered in blood, with a sword. laurent has been doing some aggressive compartmentalizing, especially in order to have allowed himself to sleep with damen. who killed his brother, which was the inciting incident that made laurent's life a living hell. laurent has not forgiven damen for auguste, and he's having to really confront that hatred and anger for maybe the first time since the first book. and laurent is also punishing himself for caring for and sleeping with damen, his brother's killer. can you even imagine? it's better not to. laurent probably hates himself as much as he hates damianos in that moment. so he shoves all those glimmering, positive feelings down because he wants to hurt damen, and himself too. and none of this is particularly rational because

3. laurent is very upset at the beginning of king's rising. this is an understatement. he's still reeling from nicaise's death, which he blames himself for, he's losing damen, the only person he trusted, he was recently stabbed, and everything is spiraling out of his tightly held control. and when laurent is upset he's cruel. he's not at his best in the tent scene. he's clinging to his own self-preservation, and he's making it up as he goes along because whatever his original plan was got blown to hell, which is clear because he's saying shit that doesn't even make sense. see, e.g., this post about him allegedly enduring damen's "fumbling attentions" to win a battle he didn't even know about at the time. while laurent is being cold and ruthless to secure his position as best he can (see no. 1), he's also acting from a place of emotion instead of strict rationality, which is how he typically operates, and how he prefers to act. he's on the defensive, he's deeply confused and unable to cope with all of his conflicting feelings about damen, and he's lashing out - protecting himself before damen can hurt him first. and then damen literally sticks his thumb in his stab wound. basically: our boy laurent's going through it in a major way.

going back and re-reading your message i realize i've essentially just reiterated everything you initially said but with a lot of extra words. so i guess the long and short of it is: you're right. honestly there are so many ways to interpret the tent scene and everything else laurent says and does, which is what makes him so fascinating! so thanks for giving me the opportunity to dive back into his psyche for a little while <3

[loveyougoodbi]

So what do we think Red Bull wants to tell us? My predictions:

1. Checo renewal. Seems like the most plausible BUT!!! Would they do it so soon into the season when they don't know how it's gonna go yet? Unlikely. Are they scared of losing a Checo enough to do it this early? I don't think so. it would be strange if it's actually that I'll start wondering why. I already am wondering why they seem to be doing it now. If the last 3 races went like the first 5 then fine, sure but NOW? idk idk..

2. New special livery. Most plausible if you ask me. Just like red bull to keep us on our Toys for a livery announcement or ne meech 🙄. Just like all of f1 really. They keep doing this to us and we fall for it every time.

3. Sainz to Red Bull? Honestly still a possibility. Although people were saying he missed his chance I still think things could have changed.

4. Liam to Red Bull 2025. If I was Red Bull I'd do this. He doesn't have a lot of experience but he has enough in my opinion. And if they're scared of losing Max for 2026 (which they should be) I'd be putting Liam in the fastest car I own for 2025 asap. But again this only if Checo continues to not be on form. If Checo is on form they would not put Liam in his place and risk the 2025 constructors like that. If Checo is not on form however I think long term Liam is the way to go. But this leads us back to 1) and why do it now? Too early to tell anything yet. If this was happening if wouldve happened during summer break AT LEAST.

What do we think? Any other ideas? I thought about Yuki to Red Bull but the Honda thing? Idk it's highly unlikely. And there's no way it's Ricciardo. There just isn't. He hasn't been performing AT ALL.

[cherrybomb107]

Talking to a non oomf on Twitter about how bad the rollout for season two has been. It’s DISASTROUS, and we still have two months left!😭😭😭

She expressed concern about the release date possibly getting pushed back because of the aforementioned terrible rollout, and the leaks. I doubt it’ll happen for two reasons:

1. They’ve already spent so much time and money on setting up events to build hype for the release. Changing them, especially this late in the game, seems highly unlikely.

2. I’ve never(and at this point, I don’t think I will) understood why pushing the date back would HELP in combating leaks. Pushing the date up or leaving it the same? Makes perfect sense to me! But delaying things would increase the chances of ppl engaging with the leaks/getting spoiled if anything. And wouldn’t that affect the level of hype fans would have? Keep in mind idk anything about production, so take this with a big old grain of salt, but yeah

[ofallthingsnasty]

This is highly unlikely to happen BUT imagine the show Wife Swap (old american reality show from the early 2000s). I never saw a single episode and don’t intend to but the premise is simple (and really weird lmao): two wives from vastly different families swap households for a while. Shenanigans ensue.

Anyways, there is not a chance in hell Crocodile would let his basement wife anywhere near Doflamingo, but imagine some devil fruit fuckery swaps basement wife and the family pet temporarily. Everyone, except for Doflamingo maybe, will be having a really hard time until wife and pet can be located and brought back to their proper places

Oh, anon if only you knew - the German version was a huge part of my tween years, mainly because of one specific meme that came out of it (Frauentausch-Andreas)💀 The thought is so fucking funny, though. Idk what it is about dark content with a crack-treated-seriously twist, but it makes me laugh.

tw. crack treated seriously, noncon (only for Doffy), basement wife is fat + fem, family pet is gn as always

Oh my god, call that basement wife's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. You thought your cartoonishly evil pseudo-husband was bad? Hah, you know absolutely nothing, you stupid little thing. When Doflamingo scrapes you out of the crate instead of his little bipedal dog, he's confused - but he can put two and two together, and quickly at that. Obviously, you're not some assassin (really, what kind of strategy is that? Killing one of his family, making the body disapear and then wait for him to appear? Hilariously bad, honestly), not some spy and you really, really aren't the one who's supposed to sit in that cage. And when you start crying the moment he asks you what the hell you're doing here, he knows this isn't intentional. At all. Another once-over, a look at your weird little outfit, at the clunky stone on your hand and it clicks - he only knows one man with a similar taste in clothing and jewelry. Would you look at that, it's Crocodile's well-kept (and apparently not-so-little) secret. Reality can be stranger than fiction, huh? He's real nice after that epiphany. Too nice. Sits you down with a cup of tea like you're old friends, seats himself across from you, legs perched on the table while he smiles. Chats. Laughs. Acts overly familiar. It's bizarre to witness - but he's trying to glean what exactly you, the little teary-eyed butterball you are, offer Crocodile over him. Really, he's a little hurt: you're drab and soggy and soft in more ways than one, you cower and snivel in front of him like some beaten dog. The only fact that saves you from being mind-numbingly boring is that you're immensely valuable to Crocodile - and it makes ideas pop up in his head. He really likes the way you're stunned into silence when he suddenly uses his powers to immobilize you, right as you're in the middle of talking. And he gets why Crocodile keeps you around when you're bent over the table and he fucks you until you're just a sobbing mess. It's at least a little different from his usual endeavours and he takes his sweet time with you, leaves some evidence for the other man to discover later on. Once the mix-up is solved, Doflamingo hands you back dressed entirely in pink and with a thousand yard stare in your eyes. Will ask Crocodile about you every time he sees him from then on, a shit-eating grin on his face while the other almost loses it.

On the other hand, family pet does pretty well, considering the circumstances. I'd even argue it's the best you've been in years - because someone is treating you like an actual person, for once. Even if they aren't being kind. Crocodile is wary, of course - every single member of Doflamingo's posse is not to be taken lightly - but he also knows you. The fucking bird dragged you into official meetings enough for you to be a familiar face to him. He's furious, seething, beyond angry - but it's not necessarily directed at you. Doflamingo has to be behind all of this, he's sure of it, and you're just the collateral. (Admittedly, weird collateral, as you're the apple of Doflamingo's eye, always kept on his arm, cooed at, just treated like some ghoulish human pet, but who knows how the bird works? He sure as hell doesn't.) He'll probaby try to squeeze some information out of you (and when that doesn't help, he'll just plop you into a seastone cage and try to solve the mystery on his own. Yeah, he almost killed you minutes before - but then again, maybe you're worth something? He can always get rid of you later, maybe you do still have some value... He's feeling a lot of emotions, give him a minute.) Really, it's not that bad. You've been through worse. When everything is cleared up, I think he'd even let you take a bath and feed you a proper meal (on a plate!! A plate! Not a bowl!) before he'll trade you back in for his weirdly apathetic looking wife...

[killerrobot-killingmatch]

V1 Propaganda

it's literally a war machine powered by blood. after the fall of humanity it ventured down into hell to keep searching for fuel, and has since been on a warpath and emptying out hell. it managed to defeat its successor (V2) and has also managed to give an angel a religious crisis thru the power of homoerotic battles

OH GOD PELASE PLEASE PLEASE This is THE MURDER MACHINE ok I need to calm down.. Every machine in ultrakill’s world is fueled by BLOOD. MANKIND IS DEAD BLOOD IS FUEL HELL IS FULL V1’s mission is to literally kill EVERYTHING in hell, DEMON, HUSK, MACHINE, ANGEL V1 KILLS ALL OF THEM V1 was built for war, but never made it to mass production as the war ended and there was no need for it now.. so V1 is the only prototype to exist. It is a one machine army capable of, as I said, wiping out the entirety of hells denizens. Which is what’s happening right now in game!! V1 is so powerful that it’s beat up an angel TWICE. The creator, Hakita described it as “imagine losing to an ant” because angels are that powerful! And V1 is THAT POWERFUL Uhhh idk how to describe this goodly but: The game has an SSS-style mechanic, uknow like getting a really cool combo kill streak going on, and killing enemies real stylishly. This isn’t canon canon but you could deffo see it as canon: I love the thought that with the inclusion of the sss style meter, you could interpret as V1 having that in its systems. So it’s a really cool stylish murder bot who kills you really coolly! And V1 could also be a reflection on the player, in that YOU the player are having fun killing, so by extension.. V1 also enjoys killing. No offence but this thing is literally so powerful , with an unnameable kill count as Hell has the majority of the human population, plus other uncountable machines down there too!

V1 is a supreme machine built for war—purging all life it comes across to satiate its (literal) thirst for blood. Though its exterior plating doesn’t offer much protection, it has the advantage of being able to refuel and repair itself on the fly, rejuvenating on contact of an enemy’s blood rather than through a separate refueling process. Its lack of durability hardly matters, as oftentimes its movement capabilities combined with its ever-growing arsenal are able to reduce an enemy to ribbons—whether they be human, husk, demon, machine, or angel—before they get a chance to land a hit.

"MANKIND IS DEAD. BLOOD IS FUEL. HELL IS FULL." is the tagline the game opens up with. V1, the playable character, and other robots like it are more than implied to be one of the major factors in humanity's extinction in the Ultrakill universe. It is stated in a terminal that it was built for war. A key mechanic of the game is the ability to absorb fresh blood of damaged/killed enemies in order to regain health. One of the things you're graded on at the end of the average level is how many enemies you killed. I would add more but it's highly unlikely that I'm the only one to submit it.

killer robot literally fueled by blood, on a trip through hell killing everything in its path and having fights with the archangel gabriel that are gayer than gay sex

V1 was built during a time of war. It's a hyper-efficient killing machine that runs on blood. Due to the subsequent death of humanity, it has ventured down Hell to look for fuel. Its main advantage is its unique exterior plating, which allows it to directly absorb blood splatter, instead of having a separate refueling process like the other machines. V1 is the only machine that was built this way. This does make its armor weak and flimsy, but its abilities make up for it. V1 is very agile with the ability to slide, dash, and jump extremely high (if we consider slam storage to be canon). It wields five different gun types, 20 weapons in total with the variants, and four (currently three in game) different left arms. It can also ride on top of the rockets it shoots out!! It's also very silly with its built-in style system. If you do cool tricks and combos you get rewarded. This robot has the ability to feel whimsical fun when mass slaughtering enemies isn't that so cool?! V1 was able to, with the help of other machines, purge all life from the first three layers of Hell and is currently continuing its path of destruction. Its notable victories include: -Beating Heaven's most respectable angel and the Righteous Hand of the Father, Gabriel, twice. And genuinely making him atheist (possible third fight? #early access game) -Defeating its successor, V2, and then killing it during their rematch with no remorse -Killing both Minos Prime and Sisyphus Prime. Prime souls are a manifestation of sheer power that don't need a physical vessel to exist. These two are hardest bosses in game It's the most killer robot that has ever killed in my opinion :D

They run on fresh blood. ULTRAKILL itself begins with a short text ending in MANKIND IS DEAD / BLOOD IS FUEL / HELL IS FULL. Literally the entire game is just them slaughtering enemies as quick and stylistically as they can, and finding more creative or clever ways to kill things, especially in numbers or in midair or with a combination of different weapons, is heavily encouraged by its mechanics!! Ranking up your Style and Kills meters to the max are needed to access certain parts of the game!!

In a tournament full of bloodthirsty robots, here’s a robot who actually runs on blood. All of humanity died and was sent to Hell, so for V1 to continue functioning, it enters Hell and slaughters everything in its path so it can absorb blood. It also beat up an Angel so badly he turned atheist after he lost to V1 twice. Funny little bloodthirsty GoPro 

Literal killing machine made for war and built to be fuelled by the blood of the enemies it kills, but, humanity dies out one day so it simply goes to hell and tears it up down there in order to get more fuel! V1 is capable of killing angels, hellspawn, and even other machines down in hell using a variety of weapons it collects!!! Its also a silly guy :]

it's just a silly little guy who is rampaging through hell killing everything in its path to obtain the blood it needs for fuel. it's even gay

V1 is capable of killing everything in Hell in the most elaborate bullshit ways 

This robot literally runs on blood to survive. It's a short and tiny killing machine, and good enough at fighting to make an angel question his sexuality. It can (debatably) compose music too!!! Right now, it's undefeated. But that may lead to its demise when it finally runs out of blood.

sure your fav is a killer robot, but do they have a style meter that encourages them to kill with as much swag as possible?

I LOVR V1 SOO MCUH. THEYRE A VAMPIRIC SECURITY CAMERA MACHINE WHO SHOOTS COINS AND PUNCHES BULLETS

[mothmage]

13 Books Tag Game

tagged by @disregardandfelicity (thank you <3)

i read a ton of non-fiction for academic and interest reasons, but i'm only considering fiction for this!

1) The last book I read:

I know I just said I was only talking about fiction, BUT I recently read Audre Lorde's memoir, The Cancer Journals, and I would highly recommend it. Lorde was such an incredible writer (i would recommend her poetry, too), and this book is half memoir and half sections from the personal diary she kept during and after her journey with breast cancer. Lorde was a self-professed Black lesbian feminist, and had unique and powerful takes on womanhood, cancer, and life in general.

2) A book I recommend:

I always recommend Perfume the Story of a Murderer by Patrick Süskind! It's one of my favorite books.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

I've been working my way through Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles and averaging about two days per book, so...lol. I would also add Carolina de Robertis's Gods of Tango, I think I read all 400 pages in one sitting.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

I loooove to reread books. One of my absolute favorite go-to comfort books is Bambi by Marjorie Benton Cooke -- it's not about the deer, it's sort of a romcom? The characters are all so vivid and fun! You have the main character, Bambi, who is a very Anne of Green Gables type character -- she's independent, imaginative, a bit of a daydreamer, loves to dance, and decides one day to be a writer. Then there's her adoptive father, the Professor, who is a mathematician and just an eccentric little old man. Then there's Jarvis -- the poor poverty-stricken playwright with his head in the clouds that very clearly thinks he's the main character of this story (he is, kind of. He's the love interest, but not in the way you think). That was long, but it's honestly one of my favorite books! Marjorie Benton Cooke wrote a handful of really fun books in her lifetime that just never got super popular (I also love Cinderella Jane and The Cricket, which are connected but can be read alone).

5) A book on my TBR:

My fiction TBR is currently sitting at 141, so...random selection: Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke by Eric LaRocca! It was highly recommended by a friend.

6) A book I’ve put down:

I have a rule where, unless the issue is stylistic and I just can't bear the author's writing, I have to power through 50% of the book before I can quit, in case it gets better later. A lot of times, this works, and I end up really liking the book! But one book I tried my absolute hardest to like and just couldn't manage it (quit at 70%) was A Certain Hunger by Chelsea G. Summers. I found the narrator unlikable in an annoying way and the story itself boring (how do you make serial killing and cannibalism boring??) IDK. It came highly recommended and apparently was super popular, but it wasn't for me.

7) A book on my wish list:

Let us Descend by Jesmyn Ward! It came out last year, but I haven't had a chance to look at it yet (fingers crossed my library has a copy by the time I have some free time to read).

8) A favorite book from childhood:

Silksinger, the second book in the Faeries of Dreamdark series by Laini Taylor. The series was never finished, but the characters from Silksinger hold a special place in my heart. One of the main characters is called Hirik Mothmage, for reference how much I love this book, lol.

9) A book you would give to a friend:

Ooh, good question. I recently gave someone my copy of Boccaccio's Decameron, because I think it's funny!! I really feel like if people can get through the language, they'll be dead laughing at some of the stories.

10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own

I have a handful! My favorite is probably a collection of Edgar Allen Poe's works that's bound in a nice cover.

11) A nonfiction book you own:

Many, lol. Mostly digital -- I try not to hoard physical books unless I really really love them, because I just don't have the space. Something I read a few years ago and still think about often is Dorothy Roberts's Killing the Black Body: Race, Reproduction, and the Meaning of Liberty, which talks about how the 20th century (U.S.) struggle for reproductive rights looked very different for white women and Black women (for Black women, it was essentially the right to reproduction). Her newer book Fatal Invention: How Science, Politics, and Big Business Recreate Race in the Twenty-First Century is a great follow-up read.

12) What are you currently reading:

Currently re-reading another memoir, The Surrendered: Reflections by a Son of Shining Path by José Carlos Agüero. Picking up Pandora by Anne Rice as soon as I have some time for fiction.

13) What are you planning on reading next?

Besides the rest of the Vampire Chronicles, I really want to read Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist (another friend recommendation).

No-pressure tagging: @eosphoroz @hekateinhell @lovevamp @aunteat @bubblegum-blackwood or anyone else who wants to -- tag me if you do, i love stuff like this!

[that-0n3-shr00mi3-guy]

Sooo... I got a bit bored and randomly came up with this idea, idk where it's gonna take me but uhhh- random ROTTMNT thing ig??

---------------------------------------------------

"How... How could you...? They were only babies... They ARE only babies." Yoshi said, voice shaking as he stared at Draxum, the vines trapping him inside the cell making his escape from this horrible place highly unlikely.

"Babies?" Draxum scoffed "They are turtles. They can't feel anything. And once they have your DNA they will become my warriors and destroy the human threat once and for all." He said, his smile seemed to only grow as he spoke

"What are you talking about?! We didn't do anything to you!" Yoshi shouted, anger flaring up inside him at the words coming from Draxum

"Your species is destroying the home of my people. I'm simply giving Yokai a chance to live however they please without you..." He stared at Yoshi, looking him up and down before continuing, "Disgusting... Humans getting in the way." He powered on the machine, watching as the ooze filled the container holding Yoshi and the four turtles

Yoshi yelled out in pain, it felt like the life was getting sucked out of him, before the rat bit him at least.. after he got bit, the pain doubled, he grew a tail and ears, and fur everywhere, it was incredibly painful, and he was in so much pain before it all suddenly stopped. He came to and found four slightly mutated but tiny turtles crawling around on the ground nearby. Even in his exhausted, freshly mutated state, he scooped up the four tots and ran for the exit as the entire place began crashing down around him.