#his instinctive reactions though are not often seen bc he usually has a pretty good control over himself and situations around him

[theregoesmylurkerstatus]

Caleb has, verbally, shown so little bloodthirst regarding the people who wronged him. He doesn’t know how he feels. He doesn’t know what he wants. He wants them to change, he wants the pain to stop. He wants to rehabilitate all these murderers under Ikithon because he was one of them and he wants to believe he’s not alone in this, he wants them to get better.

He also takes three steps into the place where he was sealed away like some kind of animal, full of simple (if skilled) guards who are so much lower on the food chain than the assassins Caleb knows... and for the first time ever he starts crushing people to death. Gone is the soft talk and hesitant hope. He asserts that they knew what they were doing. That they were not innocents.

He spent eleven years there. He can’t remember it. He also can’t think of the people who did that to him as people, whether they were actually the ones that guarded him or not.

I think Caleb’s trauma and his ability to react with extreme prejudice when confronted with it often gets underestimated both by the audience and Caleb himself. There’s a really interesting dichotomy that seems to go on with him, in that we’re constantly taken somewhat aback by these breathtaking displays of violence of his, even though they keep happening.

I realised it when we first met Astrid, actually. I don't know about anyone else, but the revelation that Caleb’s reaction to watching his parents die wasn’t running in to help them, or screaming himself, or even dissociating, but was instead attacking his peers? It surprised the heck out of me.

I don’t think anyone thought that would have been his reaction. All the pieces of fiction or art or meta about that moment that I saw assumed he had a much more passive or help oriented reaction. Even the cast themselves animated that moment as Astrid and Eodwulf stoically walking away from a silent Caleb on his knees in their own animated title sequence.

The fact that we all accepted the image of Caleb, on his knees, silently watching his family burn, is interesting to me. Because I do get why.

When Caleb is forcefully reminded of that moment of extreme grief, he dissociates. He doesn’t react violently when lost in his trauma in that particular way. Add to that that Caleb brushes over the immediate aftermath of his parent’s deaths, which makes it seem like his foggy, clouded state in the Asylum was the instant result of his trauma, and the idea that Caleb reacted passively to his parent’s deaths is a very easy assumption to make.

At this point I believe it’s also indicative of how Caleb sees himself. Caleb hates (hated?) himself, yes, but he doesn’t actually seem to see himself as a violent person. When asked to impress a high level mage from an alien culture, he chose the versatile reskinned Bigby’s Hand, Cat’s Ire. When trying to be intimidating, he uses his words, or points to his friends as threats, or uses Frumpkin as a prop.

He doesn’t seem to give his ease with violence much thought or weight in his own view of himself. I think he assumed he was passive during his years at the Sanitarium, and so therefore assumed that his “breaking” was similar. And if that’s what Caleb thought of himself, why would we think any different?

People don’t tend to think of Caleb as a fighter, least of all Caleb himself. The common view of him is that he’s a hesitant support character. He’s not someone who fans or other characters alike would easily call “bloodthirsty,” especially with him confronting and discussing the man who ruined his life and refusing to commit to killing him.

Everything about how Caleb verbally approaches these traumas shows that he’s not vengeance driven. Revenge has never been part of his game plan, never been something he cared enough to pursue. And because of that palpable lack of bloodthirsty vengeance, because of his soft spoken, cautious demeanor, Caleb is not someone who would generally be picked as having extreme, unrelenting violence as his knee-jerk reaction.

Except that’s exactly what Caleb does when backed into a corner. That’s like his biggest move. Wall of Fire and Fireballing Avantika and her crew on a hair trigger? Bleeding, on the verge of unconsciousness, out of spells, and still managing to deal the killing blow on Lorenzo because he chose violence over any other action? Opening the final fight against Obann by smashing through the window and burning half the cultists to death, because they were that desperate to get Yasha back after two failed attempts?

He woke up after eleven years of being addled, confused and not himself, and immediately killed a guard and broke out of the Assembly’s own Saitarium in the heart of Rexxentrum. He unexpectedly got stabbed by a full-fledged Scourger, and his instant reaction was to beat her over the head with a rock. 

And now, he’s infiltrated that same Sanitarium where he was kept only to flip from his desire to redeem those under the Assembly’s thumb to murdering half the people he came across in there with extreme prejudice.

His lack of interest in long-term vengeance is interestingly balanced by his frequent choices to pursue short-term retribution. It’s both his way of protecting his friends and himself, removing the threat and discouraging other threats, but it’s also, in my view, frequently an outlet for his heavily suppressed anger at the people who hurt him and his friends.

Caleb can be a good diplomat, but Caleb rarely chooses to be a diplomat. Caleb can be charming, but Caleb doesn’t like being charming. Caleb can be a good support caster, and Caleb is a support caster! But when he’s too compromised for strategy, when he stops thinking, he starts burning everything in his way. Because Caleb? He likes the way fire feels.

Caleb spent his formative years training to respond to conflict, physical or political, with lethality, and on a much more fundamental level, he is and always has been a man of action. 

He took action to get out of the Sanitarium as soon as he was capable. He took action in the Bright Queen’s throne room, made a risky ploy instead of letting them be arrested. He wanted to take action retroactively against his parent’s deaths the second he regained coherency.

Despite what we all assumed, doing nothing in the face of his parent’s deaths was never an option for Caleb, and he wasn’t taught anything that was going to help his parents once the house was on fire and the screams started. So what else was he going to do, after two years of growing into the Scourger mould? When he loses his mind, his ability to think, two of his reasons to care?

Of course it was violence. Of course it was lashing out at the people he must have thought, on some level, as being in his way. Of course it was fire. What else would it be?

And though these circumstances here aren’t the same... there are enough similarities. He’s once again in those familiar halls (in that familiar mindset) where he was treated as a weapon, nothing more. He’s with the people he loves and he knows they’re in danger, again. In fact, they’re in danger from the same people he spent eleven years feeling threatened by, that he viewed as obstacles, whether consciously or not.

He doesn’t want his loved ones to be in danger. He doesn’t want to be surrounded by the guards who he associates with his own helplessness. He especially doesn’t want those two things to go together. And he has never been able to sit idly by when he can act. But what kind of actions can he take? What can he do to get these guards away, away from him, away from his friends, out of his way, right now?

The tried and true method. Not burning, not here, not now, let’s not set a building on fire with his loved ones in it again (though it happened anyway). But no matter. He’s learned a lot of tricks in the last few months.

And hey, don’t worry, Caleb’s not angry. He’s not still working through his own pain and rage at these people. He really does want to heal, not hurt.

It’s just that these ones deserved it.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

idk how many people would even want to see this BUT i wanna yell about Leela and Brax so here's a list of all their scenes togethr/scenes pertainng to them that i can recall (pLEASE add on if i missed anything/ you have any additional thoughts!! i could talk about these two all day!)

right off the bat in Weapon of Choice when Leela is on the outskirts of the Citadel and Brax goes to bring her back (which is interesting in and of itself, bc usually i would imagine a chancellery guard would go do that so what made Brax decide to instead??), Leela kinda goes off at him bc she's hurting and instead of trying to actually explain what's going on Brax doesn't even try to argue he just says "we need you" which is great bc Leela has that instinctive desire to be needed and to help people and he's speaking right to that -- also as far as we know, this is Leela and Brax's first actual meeting in canon? it's implied that they know of each other, which makes sense, but it doesn't seem like they've ever directly interacted before: Brax seems almost slightly uncertain, and Leela is combative, but when he's gentle with her she's actually quite receptive

the literal next scene after that, where the OT4 is all in one room for the first time (they still kinda hate each other at this point but still !!!). Narvin explaining Gryben and being a real jerk about it and Leela (understandibly!) questions if Gryben is a prison world, and Brax (who to this point has been mostly quiet as Narvin and Romana brief Leela) jumps in to both clarify Narvin's previous xenophobic statements while also maintaining the inherent questionable/negative connotations

(btw it's actually pretty important to note that Romana self-edits herself a lot when talking to Leela, especially in the earlier seasons; you can actually hear her revising the things she says to put it in terms that she thinks Leela will better understand. and i mean she does it out of genuine consideration for her friend associate but it often comes across as varying levels of patronizing. Narvin also obviously "dumbs things down" when dealing with Leela early on, but like... Brax never does that on any level. the only difference i can tell in how he addresses Leela vs how he talks to anybody else is that he seems much more kind with her than almost anyone else???)

their conversation about the Matrix in The Inquiry: this is REALLY important (and if you've ever talked to me on ao3 i've probably gone off to you about it lol) because it's layered. they're talking about the Matrix but they're also not because in answering Leela's question Brax is making a very thinly veiled allegory (which he outright states a minute later) to Time Lord society/politicians/most importantly HIMSELF -- he's actually strangely open about his morals/beliefs in this scene and i'm living for it tbh -- and i find it very interesting that even though he does directly explain what he means ("how do you know all this?" / "because i am a politician.") he also leaves it for Leela to work out the implications. like it's a very nuanced conversation bc there's double meaning in it and most people on Gallifrey seem to think that Leela is tone-deaf and can't pick up on that stuff (even Romana sometimes oversimplifies things to her) but Brax totally just lets her take from it what she will bc he believes her intelligent enough to understand. he doesn't think her any lesser because she's human.

ALSO on a secondary note to the above: the fact that Leela has a question/needed clarification (sorry, haven't listened to this in a while i forget how it actually happened) and actively sought out Brax to talk to about it?? like she knows Romana better she could have gone to her but i feel like Leela kinda imprinted on Brax and someone she can go to for help if she needs it; maybe it's partly bc she knows he's under marginally less pressure than Romana is but also the truth of the matter is that Brax was the most genuinely helpful person to her in the previous stories and that probably means a lot to her (esp. bc he acts like the essence of everything she hates about Gallifrey but he doesn't treat her the way she would expect from that). btw this topic is gonna come up again in a hot minute

that part where Brax gives her that information that might help her re: the Andred thing, even though he really probably shouldn't have done that -- it kinda makes me think about what he must have been like with Theta tbh???

actually this is mostly my own conjecture but there's some neat stuff in Spirit bc during the *waves hand vaguely* bodyswap dream sequence thing, Romana is very "!!!! Brax can help us !!!" which is tecnically Leela brain talking, so like there's the implications of the stuff i've said above about Leela having this idea of Brax where she knows he's someone she can go to for help

can u tell i'm soft for them

Leela sounding really sad/distracted when she talks about how Brax isn't there YES i'm grasping at straws but a lot of this relationship really is conveyed through the voice acting bc of how little direct focus there is on the characters. there's actually several scenes in Mindbomb where she mentions him and she outright says that she misses him during her discussion with Matthias

that implied scene with them in Mindbomb!! i have a Lot of thoughts about that!!! it's all conjecture and fanfic fodder!!! but the reason i mention this is because it seems pretty meta that out of the whole Gally Gang, it's Leela who first sees Brax when he comes back to Gallifrey and in turn she's the first person (besides Matthias, i guess) that he sees upon his return?? idk i just feel like that's somehow a meaningful detail??? also her reaction of utter shock after spending the entire episode missing him and how worked up she is when she tries to tell Romana, like I desperately need to know what happened in this missing scene MR RICHARDS PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED

Leela insisting on going with Brax when Pandora starts hurting him and their whole conversation there is just. so good. like they're both just so soft and then when Darkel comes in Leela instantly goes into protective mode. like they just have such an open relationship bc Brax doesn't even try to be all pretentious with her, like he doesn't even try to keep up any facades when he's with her he's just very genuine and it really says a lot about both of them -- Leela is so good at seeing people, like getting down to the core of who people are and what makes them them (which is why she's good for Romana, btw, bc Romana has a lot of identity issues) and Brax is so tangled up in who he presents himself as that he barely knows who he actually is anymore but Leela can see that and she makes it so he can truly be himself and he doesn't have to hide. also she's so gentle with him when they talk about Pandora, she's very caring and empathetic and wants to make sure he's okay and i am WEAK

it's been a hot while since i listened to Panacea but I think i remember Brax being really soft with Leela when he first brings the gang to the Axis, like just sounding really glad to see her

ok other than the fact that Brax is lowkey relatable in Reborn (daydreaming fanfic about yourself/people you know? simping for Mary Tamm Romana? yeah mood, my man) there's that scene where they're first appraoching the Citadel on the alt!Gallifrey and it seems like none of them, and Brax specifically, have seen it from the outside in a good long while bc he's very in awe and he tells Leela that he wishes she could see it and he sounds sO hEcKiNg sOFT oh my word-

and once again with Leela thinking of Brax as someone she trusts for help: in Dissassembled when everything is going to crap she straight-up says that she wants to go find Brax bc he'll know what to do/be able to help

at the beginning of Annihilation when Romana is depressed and questioning if Brax truly was her friend and Leela INSTANTLY, NO HESITATION assures her that he was; i lost where i had her exact lines written down but she actually kinda goes off to make sure Romana gets the point

literally forcing myself to talk about this bc it makes my brain stall out but like,,, the Brax Hound in Annihilation,,, Leela being like "goodbye, Braxiatel... again" she sounds so sad and like UGH i always kinda forget how sad it actually is for them to lose Brax in Dissassembled bc like, it was so sudden and they didn't get to say goodbye and Leela is always losing people and i have many many feels about this scene and how all that emotion is made very clear in how they each respond to the Hound (might make a separate post abt this later if anyone is interested ::eyes::)

Enemy Lines is utter bullcrap about these two and I will never stop being salty about how they not only sidelined the very good, very subtle friendship they had in s1-4, but they??? made Leela acutally not trust Brax??? when literally this entire time she's been the one person who probably genuinely trusts him the most?? what the heck, David

I haven't heard TW3 or 4 yet but i'm assuming there's nothing worthwhile in those with regards to this duo (correct me if i'm wrong tho lol, i would love to be mistaken in this assumption)

TL;DR Leela and Brax mututally imprinted on each other and have probably the most open and healthy relationship within the OT4 and it is an absolute CRIME that nobody besides Gary Russell and Justin Richards cared enough to actually build on it in canon

[dr3am-t3am]

dteam wing!au, bc literally nobody can stop me.

my brain spit this out this morning, and i was like “i could make this and nobody could stop me” and now it exists. i put so much less thought than i should’ve into this. i dont even care. if anybody asks, this is inspired by “Minecraft, but we’re always flying” or something, but that’s not true i just wanted to draw the boys with wings.

some notes under the cut: 

- Dream was definitely the design i actually thought about the most. I wanted something fast and maneuverable for him, but not super expected (like a falcon or something, which is kind of a moot point considering the other two are super stereotypical wing designs, but also do i really care? no.) so I was thinking something like a kingfisher or a hummingbird at first, but that didn't really fit either, and plenty of birds are fast but not really agile. I then went into swifts, which are the fastest horizontal flying birds and are. super fast and maneuverable,, but guess what? they aren't the fastest horizontal flying animals.

- bats are.

- these tiny bats go around flying at 100 mph, making crazy turns and such all the while. theyre insane.

- Brazilian free-tailed bats ! look them up

- anyways i didn’t want to use bats at first bc stereotypical “evil” connotations combined with dream’s,, uh,, tendencies? (every manhunt vid, but especially speed runner v. mutant. you Know.) seemed like a super cliche take, but like come on. it worked too well. crazy bat boy doing crazy bat boy things. imagine the pun potential. 

- so anyways. he’s a bat.

- to be honest, I dont know what universe this would really exist in, real life or minecraft, but both have a lot of potential so. i might do more with this, because i supposedly made this up based on “minecraft but we’re always flying” i’ll put it in the mc world for now but like. both seem like too much fun

- anyways

- Dream is as I said, crazy bat boy. He is still minorly afraid of heights,, not as much as he probably is in real life but like,, he isn’t the most comfortable with them. He does love flying though, and in typical bat fashion he does a lot of dodging and weaving through trees and other crazy stunts. Bat wings are super jointed and flexible, so he’s able to weave through super busy landscapes pretty easily,, much to George and Sapnap’s chagrin

- George is a barn owl ! Partly bc though I know nothing about harry potter but i know owls are a thing with wizards and stuff in general, and george is apparently The harry potter nerd in the dteam, and partly bc owls are the bird equivalent to cats and george is a cat if you've ever seen one. also, his stupid goggles look like giant owl eyes. it works ok ? 

- he’s not as fast a flier as dream and sapnap, but he’s still a very effective hunter. he can fly Silently and he uses that to his advantage a Lot. unfortunately, he’s still colorblind, but he’s still got really good vision. his night vision, especially, is super good, as is his hearing

- george has. Lorge wings. he’s pretty average size, same as in real life, but he’s shorter than both dream and sapnap and has Massive wings. they’re super fluffy too, making them look even bigger, and the resulting image results in george looking pretty small for how Massive his wings are, like a child that hasn’t really grown into their clothes yet. they are the absolute best wings to cuddle with, even though he doesn’t do that often, and when he gets startled he raises them automatically to look a lot bigger than he actually is, in that owl way of becoming a circle. dream and especially sapnap find it hilarious.

- sapnap’s a red tailed hawk ! he seems to suit a bird of prey really well, and I associate the color red and orange with him a lot. Sapnap’s a great flier and very much enjoys screwing around in the sky, often way higher than dream and george really like to go up. He’s a fast enough flier, definitely faster than george, but nowhere close to Dream if they’re flying horizontally. However, he Can dive, and he can dive very very fast. He dive-bombs george Constantly, and sometimes manages to pull one on Dream if he and George do the planning beforehand. it doesn’t always work because Dream’s a little weasel and can maneuver himself out of place Fast once he notices, but they Have pulled it off a few times and his reactions are Golden. 

- Sapnap is *pretty* chill, but if you trigger his territorial instincts then he can become and absolute pain to deal with. This, of course, is why you can very often find sapnap and dream flying and chasing each other because dream was being a little a-hole and stole sapnap’s stuff or something. (he’s also very protective of his friends, who he consider as his territory, or home, not that he’s gonna say it or anything.)

- when sapnap gets into Instinct Mode he also rarely does the red-tailed hawk screech, which usually is enough of a shock to kick him out of it as both george and dream laugh themselves silly. both george and dream get the most flak for being the loud ones,,, (not even bc of his bird, for george, but just bc. He’s George) but that Screech puts everyone else to shame,, it’s just,, So Loud. 

- dream, when he isnt flying, is actually very protective of his wings. it’s not immediately obvious to the others, but because his wings are so small and maneuverable dream tends to fold them up and hide them under his clothes when he can, and otherwise keep them folded and away from everything else when he can’t. george has his wings folded about half of the time, and sapnap really never has his folded. they fly so much that it’s not super obvious, but dream’s wings are Delicate and full of tiny bones and joints thank u very much and he’s very protective of them

- both george and sapnap have feathers along their back and neck that will raise when they’re alarmed or scared. dream doesn’t, but his hair is Extremely fluffy and fine, to the point of almost seeming like fur instead of hair. 

- both dream and george lean towards a nocturnal sleep schedule, and sapnap basically grudgingly follows. they have a completely screwed up sleep schedule, just like real life. it be like that sometimes.

i’ll cut this off for now, but i have. more thoughts. we’ll see what becomes of them haha.

[meetmeatthecoda]

Lately, I've found myself drawn to stories ( and I mean drawn to as in envisioning those stories in my head, thinking them through to the very last detail, not reading, let alone writing them down, because I've long since accepted that they will never turn out quite the same on the paper ) where Red is the one who'd been seriously hurt and, therefore, rendered unconscious for an indefinite amount of time and worried Liz is the one who doesn't leave his side, hoping and praying and pleading that he would wake up. Probably, something that has to do with how unfair it is that we've seen Red keep vigil by hurt!Lizzy's side – playing music for her, holding her hand, reading to her etc. – a number of times and yet, over the course of 8 seasons, never have ever been allowed the pleasure of seeing Liz do the same for him ( not even when he was shot – because she left to retrieve the Fulcrum and couldn't come back until the fight was over – or when he was poisoned – because she'd been waiting to be cleared to see him and he ran away the moment he wasn't actively dying, because that's Red for you all ), even though she loves and cares about him as much as he loves and cares about her.

I mean, just imagine the possibilities!

Liz pacing around the waiting area of Red's mobile hospital while he's in surgery, unable to think about anything else other than how he looked – battered and broken and barely alive – when they've found him and how his head rested in her lap ( she could almost convince herself that he was merely dozing, if he wasn't so deathly pale and still and there wasn't so much blood on his clothes and her clothes and her hands and the backseat of the car ) and his hand was limp in her death grip as they rushed him to his doctors and she whispered words of reassurance and encouragement to him even though she knew he couldn't hear her and how she had to fight the instinct to curl around her lover and snarl at anyone who would come close because she can't let him be hurt further as the medics took him away from her, exchanging observations and orders that didn't sound particularly reassuring. She's also acutely aware of the fact that Red is fighting for his life – there, just a few feet away from her – and, though he's the strongest man she's ever known, he may not win, and so she makes a promise to the empty air in front of her that she will kill him herself if he dares to give up on her and Agnes like that now, when they've just reached the good, right place in their relationship, just confesses their feelings to each other. At some point, Dembe most certainly pulls Liz in for a hug, letting her cry in his shoulder, doing his best to comfort her ( even though there's nothing that can bring her more comfort than Red's hug, when he – alive and whole – wraps his arms protectively around her and holds her close and lets her hide from the whole world in his arms, his chest, his shoulder and neck – wherever she prefers to burrow her face at the time – and the memory itself makes her cry harder, because there's a possibility that he will never hug her like that again ), even though he's just as worried and scared as she is, and Mr Kaplan helps Liz clean up, washing away Red's blood from her hands and producing seemingly out of the thin air fresh clothes for her to change into.

Red, of course, pulls through the surgery, beating all odds, and Liz's heart floods with relief at the good news before sinking when the doctor explains to her and Dembe and Mr Kaplan the extent of Red's injuries and that it's impossible to say when – or even if – he wakes up.

And so the waiting game begins. Liz doesn't leave Red's side, holding his hand, stroking his knuckles with her thumb and never letting go, constantly talking to him and reading to him and even asking Dembe to bring the record player and some records from the Bethesda apartment to play to him, hoping that it would elicit some kind of response from him. Yet, as they days go by, there's not a single, smallest sign that he's aware of anything that's going on around him, that he's still there somewhere and is trying to find his way back to her, to them – he doesn't stir, doesn't so much as flutter his eyelashes, and Liz grows more desperate with each passing day, even though the doctor assures her that Red's slowly but surely improving ( but she can't see it with her own eyes, and if she can't see it, she's less likely to believe it, the more time passes with him just lying there, undisturbed by the loud, chaotic world around him ).

And then there's Agnes... While Liz keeps vigil at Red's bedside, the babysitting duties are split equally between Aram and Samar, Charlene and Cooper, Ressler and Audrey and Dembe and Mr Kaplan. Yet more often than not whoever picks little Agnes up from school and / or her ballet classes brings her over to the safe-house where Liz and Red are. She doesn't seem to be as unnerved by Red's state as her mommy is, climbing on his bed each time she visits ( after giving her mommy the biggest hug, of course ) and leaning in close to him, examining his face thoughtfully before half-asking, half-stating "He's still tired, mommy?". And Liz usually replies with a hoarse "Yes, baby" because she doesn't trust herself not to get choked up if she tries to answer more eloquently. Agnes simply nods then, satisfied with the explanation why he hasn't woken up yet, and settles against Red's side – mindful of his injuries and the spider web of wires and tubes connecting him to all sorts of monitors and machines – and either naps ( especially, on ballet classes days ) or tells her mommy and Red ( she talks to him just like Liz does much too easily – promising him to show him the new moves she's learnt when he wakes up etc. – as if she's already done that before or seen anyone else do that... unbeknownst to Liz, she did both – when Liz herself was in a coma, Agnes both saw Red talk to her mommy and was encouraged by him to talk to her, too, because it may help her mommy sleep easier and maybe she'll get better sooner and finally wake up ) about her day or does her homework or draws ( more often than not, she draws either cards for Red to read when he wakes up or just things she wants him to see ). And when the time comes for her to leave, she always kisses Red on the cheek, wishing him "sweet dreams" and to get better soon, and then gives her mommy, who tries so very hard not to tear up but fails miserably, a hug and a kiss, too, and tells her frequently that she shouldn't cry because Red is just too tired, just like she – Liz – once was, and that he just needs to sleep a bit more.

And when the door behind Agnes closes and Liz is sure her daughter won't see / hear her, she breaks down hard, in big, ugly sobs, because her little girl shouldn't be acting so naturally in this kind of situation and because she wishes so hard that Red just woke up, because she can't do this, any of this, without him.

In the end, once his body has healed itself enough and he regained enough of his strength, Red, of course, does wake up. It's a slow process, and Liz thinks she might either faint or go mad from the overwhelming feelings that are swirling inside of her when Red moves for the first time in what seems to her like forever – squeezing her hand feather-lightly – and when he leans slightly, unconsciously into her touch when she strokes his cheek – out of habit, without even expecting any sort of reaction from him and being pleasantly surprised – and when he opens his eyes for the first time – it's a brief occurrence, with his eyes slipping shut tiredly again after just a few moments, and he's still pretty much out of it, apparently, not even noticing her presence by his side, but for Liz it's a major event – and when he finally, finally looks directly at her – alive and conscious and alert – and calls her "Lizzy". He's still weak and his voice sounds terrible and Liz knows she shouldn't let all of her pent-up feelings – the fear and despair and frustration and love and relief and exhaustion – out on him like that – he's just woken up, after all – but she can't hold back the tears nor the jumbled mess of "thank you"s and "I love you"s and " "I've missed you"s and "I'm so so happy you're back" and "I was so worried" and "Don't ever scare me like that again" that spills from her lips as she leans in to kiss him lightly and give him the gentlest of hugs...

(Since I'm not a ficwriter and, therefore, have no intentions of using this pile of ideas/images/feelings myself, I wouldn't mind at all if you or any other writer drew inspiration from this rambling of mine)

Ahhhhh 😭😭😭 Are you sure you're not a fic writer, anon?? Cause this reads like some quality hurt/comfort to me!! 🥲🥲 Honestly, this is a lovely scenario to imagine & it gives me a slightly bitter sense of satisfaction to think of Liz suffering through just a fraction of the time Red spent by her side while she was in her coma... especially if it's the catalyst for fEeLiNgS to emerge tee hee bc, you're RIGHT, we were woefully deprived of those situations in the show & I'll never not be sad about it tbh. More specifically, things I love the most about this in no particular order: Liz having to "fight the instinct to curl around her lover & snarl" *swoon*, Liz swearing she will kill him herself if he dies LMAO, Dembe hugging her for comfort & Mr. Kaplan helping her get cleaned up 🥺🥺🥺, Liz playing records for Red yasss, AGNES & everyone taking turns babysitting her while she misses her Daddy desperately but deals with the situation with a maturity & grace beyond her years in an effort to help her grieving Mommy through it cool cool mkay mkay, Liz only breaking down once Agnes leaves OWWW, anddddd Liz being a blubbering mess when Red finally wakes up & calls her "Lizzie" & they kiss *whispers* it's fine, i'm fine 🙃 IN CONCLUSION, I love this anon, thank you for sharing this lovely little AU with me!! 🥰 And much, much love to you, of course, my friend!! ❤️

[sleepy-and-anxious]

Good For Something excerpt:

Seen as people had an interest I’m gonna post an out of context scene from the beginning of Good For Something <3 Keep reading to read the scene. Please be kind bc its still my first draft lol

Tag list: @tawnywrites @seraphicscribbles @danafaithwriting @mademoiselleink @thekingsstudy @hawksnbooks @elliewritesstories @lachiffon @hpsinspo (sorry It wouldn’t let me tag your writing blog) 

Hepton: Where are you?

Me: Work

Hepton: Come home. I need to talk to you.

Me: I’ll be back later

Hepton: It can’t wait. Cato, Please.

Me: I’ll be back when I’m back.

Frustrated, I logged off my port screen and zoned back into what was happening in The Lounge. I’d managed to finally change out of Hepton’s coffee stained t-shirt and into my usual work wear; A large black long-sleeved button up shirt, leather pants and a pair of thick boots. I’d slicked back my short hair with hair gel, calling attention to my sharp features. As usual for these kind of meets, I kept my tattoos covered with either clothing or makeup. I didn’t want to give away too many features that would have me easily identifiable by the Noble Policing Union if the meet was a bust or if the job ended up going south.

I was stood with my back to the office’s closed door, I had a good view of all possible exits, and the many love-seats and chaises around The Lounge would make useful barriers if it came to any form of attack. The room was bustling with patrons happily drinking with girls on their laps or watching one of the many dancers on stage. Other patrons were nicely occupied in a room of their choosing with a partner of their choosing. The amount of nobles in the room, as usual, set me on edge, but I knew some of these northerners were the reason a lot of the girls could afford to live a healthy and comfortable life. I didn’t like it but as long as they didn’t come any where near me, I pretended they weren’t here. The Northern Noble accent makes me skittish.

It was usually a mutual dislike. Northerners didn’t like me either.

But, this was the South and this was my home ground. I had the advantage here. Always.

I had my eyes fixed on the entrance that I’d come through a few hours ago, thinking of all the things that could possibly go wrong, when a pale palm waved in front of my face. My head snapped to the left to find a tall blonde trying to get my attention. Fabienne Osrund was one of the newer girls, had probably been with Raven since the end of last year. She was a pretty lass, just a bit too quiet for my liking. I always felt like she could stare right into my soul.

“Sup, Fab.” I said, quiet enough for just her to hear. I looked to the clock to see I had three minutes before the anonymous requester arrived, my skin had started to feel as if it was covered in tiny paper cuts and I had to stop myself from searching for my necklace. I was still wearing it, it was just hidden - I never took it off.

“Sup, 1.” She whispers back. She always refused to call me anything other than the number on my left forearm. It was an odd thing to do, but I didn’t mind too much. Occasionally, Hepton and I refer to each other with our numbers and apparently, according to him, the boys still did so too.

“What needs met?” I quietly gave her the Common’s standard greeting, with a tense smile.

“Be calm. You’re pushing.” She said making sure to look me in the eyes - something she didn’t do very often.

Eh?

“What do you mean?” I asked, looking her over with my brows drawn. Though, I did take note of her request to calm down and made sure to let my muscles relax and let the edgy feeling fade. Much to my confusion, she just gave me a small smile.

I was still paying attention to Fabienne when the guest of honour walked in, but I knew when they’d arrived. I heard the small twinkle of someone coming through the beads and the relaxed mood of the room instantly changed. I couldn’t explain it. It was as if the entire room’s hair stood on end at once. As if the entire room, but me, held its collective breath. My gut told me something was wrong instantly. Every single self preservation instinct went haywire.

My eyes quickly found our visitor and I wasn't really surprised by what I found. Still stood in the entrance, proud as a peacock, was a middle aged lady. A middle aged lady whose clothes were typical Noble business lady fashion - a violet midi skirt, blouse and brief case - with her obviously dyed black hair tied back tightly in a ballet style bun and her lips painted a deep plum. She shouldn’t have been causing the anxiety that she was. Her face was plain and non assuming, but as she looked around the room and viewed the now frozen employees and clientele, her eyes held an amused glimmer and her lips turned up in the snobbiest smirk I think I might have ever seen. What a bitch.

The violent paper cut feeling had come back, but this time I welcomed it over unease.

Her hazel eyes quickly found me in the sea of people and, if I hadn’t have been watching her like she was my prey, I would have missed the deep swallow she took as looked me over with wide eyes. The lady’s lips pressed into a tight line. I tipped my chin up in challenge.

Yeah, Bitch, you say shit about my turf and I’ll make you wish you never stepped foot over the fucking border.

I felt a tight pressure on my left wrist. I broke eye contact with the snobby woman and, as nonchalantly as possible, I turned my head to look back at the blonde clutching my wrist like a life-line.

“One…” Her quiet voice trailed off. Her face had blanched and her eyes were wide and watering but her lips were pursed in anger. I’d never seen such a variety of negative emotions on her face. The concerning thing was that she wasn’t the only person in the room to react this way. 

Across The Lounge, most of the girls and even a few of the Noble men here to enjoy the entertainment were having similar reactions.  I spotted Raven across the room, perched on a love-seat with Momo, both seemed to have forgotten their wine in favour of desperately clutching each others hands. Though not obvious to most in the room, I’d known them long enough to know that was definitely a fear reaction. Self control has never been one of my strong suits but in that moment I managed to keep my face as neutral and emotionless as possible.

I needed to handle this now and I needed to handle it quickly.  

I tilted by chin up sharply again letting my brows rise high on my forehead before slowly, and as patronising as possible, gestured for her to come towards me making sure the woman understood that this was a command and not a request.

I had no idea who this old lady was, but I’d make this a damn hard pissing contest if she was going to come in here and scare my girls. The room was slowly coming back to life around us, with only a few of the girls remaining panicked and looking to me.

With her head held high, she slowly began walking towards me and I let a manic grin take over my face. Her poker face had fallen back into place and her gaze hadn’t strayed from mine. I knew this was going to be fun. Beside me, Fabienne had begun to hyperventilate, so without breaking eye contact with the visitor, I reached up and gently tugged on her ear until her attention snapped back to me.

“Go and get a drink, Fab.”

Fabienne didn’t need to be asked twice as before the sentence was finished she took off towards the bar, admirably maintaining her composure.

When the lady was a few feet away I reached back and opened the office door, to let her in. She walked in without greeting and sat down on the red velvet armchair I was sat at only a few hours before, evidently she had no issue with having her back to me.

Stupid or arrogant. Jury was still out.

Ravens's office was now free of paper stacks and holo-screens, revealing her large metal desk and rows upon rows of shelves stacked with thousands of tea light candles, that she'd helpfully lit before vacating her office for me. Raven liked the vibe that the candles gave the room and insisted that electric and neon lights and lamps killed her work ethic. I watched as the shadows danced along the walls along to the beat of the flickering flame.

Taking my place in the chair on the opposite side of the desk, I kicked my boots off and crossed my feet on top of the desk, maintaining my own poker face. Her top lip curled and her nose wrinkled in distaste before she raised one perfectly painted eyebrow. The waiting game. I knew this game well; I had learnt this game from Saintly long ago. I raised my brow back. The candle light made her plain face look angular and sharp, it elongated her nose and sharpened her nose. I presumed it was doing equally scary things to my own face.

"Mr. King, My name is-" she started, breaking the silence.

"I don't care" I interrupted quickly, being sure to keep my voice emotionless.

Her mouth tightened into a thin line once more at the sound of my voice. I don't know what she was expecting of me but I knew a South Commoner wasn't it.

"My name is Desdemona Snow." She began once more and this time I didn’t interrupt her, "I am here on behalf of my employer."

I blinked. Employer? It was a rare occurrence that I worked through middle men. Usually, people who felt strongly enough to pay for my services wanted to meet me to talk the details in person. You know, to build trust, or whatever.

"Who's your employer?"

"My employer would like to keep his anonymity, ergo, why he sent me." She replied.

Fair enough. I tilted my chin up for her - an order to continue. I watched as she ground her molars together giving me a tight closed mouth smile. She really didn't like taking orders from me it seemed. It made me smile something wicked.

"My employer heard that you're the person Southerners come to in order to get rid of problems. They say you are the best." She said, shifting to place the brief case she brought with her on top of the desk.

Well, that was one way of putting it.

"Lady-"

"Ms. Snow." She interrupted me, her North Noble accent a hiss in the room.

O-hoho. I really was getting under her skin.

Taking my feet off the table, I turned so that my body now directly faced hers.

"Ms. Snow," I started, finally getting to business, "I'm who people come to, to kill criminals." I shifted to place my elbows on the cold metal of the desk-top and leaned forward before clasping my hands together in front of my lips.

For a snap second, her eyes widened at my admission before she quickly reverted back to her. 

Interesting. It seemed she wasn't exactly comfortable in her employers decision but she was doing it anyway.  

She reached for the briefcase and nimbly undid the clasps to open it. From inside of the case, she produced a small information file that seem to only contain a few pieces of paper. This paper, I knew before looking, would be a profile. Gently, she slid the file across the table towards me.

"Then, this is your criminal." She said.

I'm not sure what I expected to find when I opened the file.

But it certainly wasn't this.

   The file was filled with three sheets of paper. That was probably about the only normal part of the profile. Quickly, I sifted through the short pages and the first thing I came across was a picture of a crime scene. The image depicted the aftermath of an attack in what looked like a barracks. It was a savage scene; blood covered practically every inch of the area photographed. No inch of wall or floor was left clean. Limbs had been roughly torn from torsos and strewn across the scene. This wasn't just a messy kill. This was a massacre like no other I'd ever seen. It looked as if it was the leftovers of a rabid animal attack.

"Blood curdling, is it not?" Desdemona mused, her expression neutral.

I didn't respond, instead I chose to move onto the next item in the profile.

The next piece of paper was an info profile, it contained a variety of basic information about the killer. I skimmed the information quickly, without taking anything in, then looked to the last item in the folder. A photo. 

My mouth felt dry, all of a sudden. The guy in the photo obviously had no clue someone was taking his picture. The image depicted a young man, sat atop the hood of quite an expensive looking car smoking a cigarette. If it had been a posed photo it would have looked incredibly pretentious, but there was an air of dark realism that I couldn’t help but drink in. Cars weren't my strong suit, I'd always preferred bikes, but I appreciated motors enough to know that the car was a modern com-tech muscle car. State of the art, fast and famously hard to handle. The car seemed to be parked in some hidden underground garage that was common up north, due to the northerners rejection of modern tech in favour of more archaic forms of transportation. 

But, even though I registered all those things, it was the boy I couldn't take my eyes off. He was around my age with messy dark hair. Even with the candle lit room and soft focus image, I could make out the strong line of his jaw, the heavy ridge of his brow and his almost feminine nose. His clothes showed a noble twist on the more Common goth-grunge look. He wore a fitted black dress shirt that was left unbuttoned to show a black vest top, dark ripped jeans and a pair of black shiny brogues. The picture was taken from too far away to me to get anymore details so I went back and kept flipping back and forth between the glossy image of the boy and the information sheet. His profile told me that he was in fact my age, he was only five foot six inches tall, weighed 177 pounds, had 9% body fat, 20/20 vision, blood type was AB Negative, wasn't allergic to anything. Apparently, his eyes were blue.

Tearing my eyes from the glossy image, I lifted my head back up to look directly into Desdemona Snow's hazel eyes.

"So, who is Mr. Short, Dark and Handsome?" I asked with an unimpressed smirk. Her face didn't move from her cold poker expression as she answered,

"The boy is known as Fire Demon." She stated simply.

Say what now?

“Okay.” I respond, feeling my eyebrows draw together. I looked back to the photograph. Fire Demon, huh? I got the picture of the crime scene back out and spot something I didn't notice on my first observation due to the mass of blood. Scorch marks.  "He some kinda pyromaniac?" I asked.

Snow blinked.

"Yes." She replied.

Okay then.

I did a Saintly, and silently waited for her to carry on with my brows high.

She evidently wasn't used to someone my age demanding things from her, but she broke again after a few minutes.

"As you can see from the crime scene, he is a dangerous individual who needs to be gotten rid of."

"Okay." I said. "Is there proof that it was him that did this?" I asked.

"He was found at the crime scene, covered in blood. He also readily admits it." She admits, looking me straight in the eyes.

Fair enough.

"Why wasn't he given to the police, then?" I enquire, curiously. She remained quiet for a beat too long.

"My employer believes the police wouldn't be able to handle him." She finally said. Her word choice was careful and calculated in an obvious attempt to not reveal information. Little did she know that I'd find out anyway.

"Is this a vendetta on behalf of your boss? Who're the victims?" I ask, carefully trying to gauge the motivations for this action. Usually the people who come to me openly admit that they believe that the mark would pay off police or that they have no chance of changing their ways. But this didn't seem like that kind of situation to me.

She shakes her head, breaking eye contact.

"My employer wishes to take this course of action in order to protect more innocent people from being savagely murdered." She said, her voice void of emotion.

I nod in understanding but before I can ask anymore, she continued.

"My employer is willing to considerably compensate for any trouble you will go through." She states, carefully.

That caught my attention. My average monetary charge was around 2,000 RC; sometimes a bit more, sometimes a bit less. It really depended on the difficulty of the job, whether I felt killing the person would solve a problem and whether I felt it would benefit the Commons.  

So, I played the waiting game, leaning casually back in Raven's chair.

"My employer is willing to offer you fifty thousand republic counts if you can make the boys death look like an accident."

My jaw dropped.

What the fuck.

[bakukirikami]

I'd like to request all the angsty headcanons please

GOD ok this ask is over a week old but im finally ready 2 deliver

under the cut bc this is literally 2k of bakukirikami angst hc’s

bakugou

not rlly super angsty but he’s rlly touch sensitive

mainly bc of the sludge villain which. makes sense

the first time kiri and kami swings an arm over his shoulder he flinches To The Max and they’re shocked bc angry baku just jumped away from them

though it’s good for the beginning of their relationship bc it helps them realise and understand it

they both ask him first if they can hug him and tbh for the first few seconds baku doesn’t know what to do

eventually he hugs them back and Gosh it’s such a good feeling

he feels a little calmer and he just relaxes and shit he feels gr88

he doesn’t even mind if he tells anyone else abt hugging them bc he’s just so glad that he feels safe being held by someone

tbh it’s not easy to overcome something like that? esp for baku, he’s so used to having control that the sludge villain really hit him hard.

the first time they share a bed together baku’s in the middle although he’s the tallest.

he’s been so long without proper touch and kiri and kami really just wanna make him feel loved

at first it’s Too Much Touch and he feels really trapped but his bf’s really did some research abt touch sensitivity and they figured out how to calm him down

he sleeps really well when he’s in the middle bc he knows that he’s literally surrounded by love

he’s the last of the three to wake up in the morning and when he does he can just hear kiri and kami whispering about how much they love him so he buries his head in his pillow and kicks them both so they don’t see him smiling and blushing

eventually after a REALLY LONG TIME he does end up trusting 1a so he doesn’t really mind if they know about his touch sensitivity

there’s nothing wrong with it ofc he’s not any less of a hero it’s just another part of him

but if anyone from another class/in general mocks him about his flinching he will try to explode him and it takes kiri and kami 43 tries to get him to calm down

he finds it really irritating ofc bc he wasn’t always touch sensitive! fuckin sludge villain

when he goes home to visit his family he brings kiri and kami home to meet them

mitsuki hasn’t seen baku in ages so her first instinct is to hug him which is p normal for a mom imo

he flinches for a second and then he realises this is my mom she literally has baby soft skin she can’t hurt me before he relaxes

she still notices his flinching bc she’s his fuckin mom so she asks kiri about it later bc he seems like a good lad

kami overhears and helps explain

later when they’re trying to go to sleep they tell baku and he just shrugs bc he doesn’t mind. he’s getting used to it now

sidenote bakugou’s family fucking love kiri and kami

when he finds out ragdoll lost her quirk he gets a few nightmares about losing his own quirk

makes sense tbh bc the majority of his confidence and arrogance stemmed from his Super Awesome Quirk

usually ends up with him waking up really sweaty and holes in his blankets from uncontrolled explosions during his sleep

he goes to the bathroom to cool off and he stares at his reflection a lot and constantly reminds himself that he’s not going to lose his quirk he’s not he’s not he’s not

what happened to ragdoll isn’t going to happen to him he’s okay

when/if kiri and kami find out they’re shocked again bc they’re not used to insecure bakugou

however they do reassure him a lot that he’s not going to lose his quirk

they remind him a lot that nightmares don’t make you weak at all

he doesn’t usually say anything but if he does it’s usually just “yeah, yeah, yeah, i know.”

“thanks dumbasses”

his dreams usually rotate between hero dreams and fluffy dreams abt his bf’s so the first time he has a nightmare he’s super pissed off bc! He’s strong he shouldn’t be getting nightmares

kami and kiri are Best Bfs they buy baku all might merch when he’s feeling Bad

kirishima

right so listen up kiri’s rlly insecure about his quirk in general so like after baku got kidnapped he really beat himself up about it like A LOT A LOT

his updated hero costume has sleeves from a few of the scars he gave himself during that time

bc of his quirk he rlly doesn’t need armour or anything so everything when they tell him he can upgrade he goes

“fuck i need to hide these scars”, thus, sleeves

during the hero license exam arc kami’s confused bc why the fuck would kirishima, whos ((pretty much)) made of steel need s l e E V E S

kami doesn’t question it tho bc who the fuck is he to judge. kami’s costume is literally just a cool jacket and pants w/ lightning bolts

baku (and everyone else) doesn’t really notice bc theyre used to kiri’s Extra As Fuck costume

anyway eventually bakugou and kaminari are going to end up seeing his scars, whether on purpose or not

when kiri explains baku’s first reaction is just anger bc not only does he think he’s the reason for all might’s end, but he’s thinks that it’s his fault kiri hurt himself

its no one’s fault of but neither of them know what to say but they just both hold kiri really tightly and at that moment, that’s all he needs

DOESN’T LIKE TALKING ABT HIS FEELINGS BC HE DOESN’T WANT TO BURDEN HIS PALS

sunshine kid needs to stop bottling things up blease kiri

spends half of his time in class overthinking about things

he wants to make everyone happy and please everyone but kiri u can’t do that you gotta make yourself happy first

after he, baku and kami get together he talks a lot abt his insecurities and he feels so liberated honestly its a good feel u go kiri 👏👏

they’ll be in bakugou’s room watching a movie and as soon as the credits start rollin he exhales and sits up straight and just Starts Talking

bakugou and kami don’t interrupt them, they just let him talk and as soon as he’s done kami cuddles him and drowns him in blankets

baku does His Thing but kiri still knows he cares so he smiles really fondly at baku which makes him blush bc kiri has the nicest smile!

eventually kami will make bakugou cuddle w/ them

they all sleep a lot better that night.

(kiri’s in the middle)

used to get a lot of shit @ middle school during The Edgy Phase

filed his teeth in anger

vowed to be the nicest person he could be

he doesn’t like thinking about it a lot but he definitely thinks it made him a stronger and better person

got mocked a lot abt his quirk bc it wasn’t “flashy enough” ://

this is already canon but he cried when meeting tetsu for obvious reasons

STILL CANON but best bros w/ tetsu

he talks to tetsu abt their quirks a lot

tetsu is a Comfort Buddy

initially tetsu doesn’t rlly understand why kiri is upset about the lack of originality of his quirk, but once he does understand he’s very comforting

of the two, people say tetsu’s quirk is more unique because he’s transforming his body from flesh into steel, whereas kiri’s is flesh into harder flesh

(this is p much why tetsu initially has difficulty understanding)

tetsu reassures kiri a lot tho and in the end they always feel a lot better about their quirks

once or twice tetsu mentions it to kami and bakugou

out of the blue they’ll randomly compliment kiri and his quirk and he’s super happy

they never say anything to kiri about tetsu but kami and baku are really grateful that he told them

forever upset that he won’t meet crimson riot

kaminari

mmmMMMKAY maya has some angsty kami hc’s here in case u havent seen them yet but ITS MY TURN NOW

super pissed off bc of how he always gets called stupid and dumb!

yes he doesn’t have the best grades but can you stick a knife in a toaster without dying? no? didn’t think so

whenever anyone is a dick about his intelligence he gets really pissed and starts shooting tiny sparks out of his body

when he came to UA he did that a lot less tho

but he does it most often around jirou

(at UA its usually her being a dick)

once she pushed him a lot and he nearly did fry her

kiri had to calm him down and hold him back

when he was little and figuring out his quirk he accidentally fried his favourite book and he cried for ages

got yelled at by teachers as a kid by teachers for accidentally short circuiting the building

bc of this he doesn’t like loud shouting a lot

he Will Flinch

especially when he goes to UA and when all might teaches

nothing wrong w/ all might ofc but his voice is really loud i’d flinch too

like he knows all might’s not going to hurt him but fuck it sounds like he is

after a while all might is the only loud adult voice he can deal with

he doesn’t really want the teachers to know bc its sorta a sensitive topic

when/if kiri and bakugou find out they won’t force him to tell anyone, they’ll just help him cope with it and comfort him

scars on his limbs from not knowing how to use his quirk as a kiddo

constantly terrified of losing control over his quirk and hurting ppl he cares about

idk i think that’s already canon but it’s important bc !! he actually likes the people at UA and he doesn’t want to hurt him

craves affection and attention all the time

he doesn’t need to be the center of attention at all, he just wants to be noticed and would rather not blend it

it’s not like he would go out of his way to stand out though, he just wants to be liked for who he is

it helps him a lot w/ his self confidence since he’s so used to him and his quirk being shoved aside (a result of the backlash of overusing his quirk) 

will cover up his pain or hurt with a joke because he like other people seeing him helpless

always stressed on how to be a better hero

runs his hands through his hair a lot

on bad days he’ll pull at his hair

bakugou and kirishima can tell whenever he’s feeling more upset because they’ll notice random strands of his hair floating around

a short attention span

it contributes to his “bad grades” and he hates himself for it

literally when he figured out just how short it was he electrocuted a couple trees because he was so pissed off

his parents gave him a really old record player for his dorm at UA but it broke when kiri and bakugou were having an arm wrestle in his room

dunno why they arm wrestling in his room BUT THEY WERE

he’s upset for ages bc that’s what reminded him of home

tries every possible way to fix it

he’s not even upset with kiri or bakugou he’s just. Empty

kiri and even bakugou apologise a lot and they actually feel awful for ages

at some point they buy him another one

ofc they know they can’t replace the other one but what else can you do

can’t go a day without someone insulting his hero costume

cries when he can’t buy a new video game and starts shooting sparks if someone else in 1a has it but he doesn’t

he gets really insecure about his body randomly, especially when he compares himself to bakugou and kirishima

but he wouldn’t mind being a little stronger but boi gets distracted all the time

but its obviously different bc ofc baku and kiri use their whole body to fight, but kami doesn’t need to do that

that being said, he doesn’t really want to be Super Buff either

[ironinkpen]

the bayard is the paladin is the lion: a season 3 prediction

Alternatively titled: Watch This Child Jeopardize Her GPA in Real Time As She Ignores Her Midterms to Write Yet Another Fucking Meta

The lovely @littleblackchats already wrote an awesome post about the symbolism of the bayards for each of the characters in Voltron. But I was wondering: could we take it a step further and use the weapons - and what they say symbolically about the paladins wielding them - to make an informed guess about who’s going to end up in what lion next season?

(even if the answer to that question is no, i’m already writing this so whatever)

Since Allura, Keith, and Lance are the most likely to be swapped into new lions (or, in Allura’s case, to be put into a lion for the first time), I thought it’d be cool to take a look at what the weapons each of them wields says about their personalities, and whether that can give us hints as to who’s gonna be the Black Paladin next season while Shiro’s gone.

Alright, so in episode 1, Allura tells us that a lion’s quintessence is mirrored in its paladin, and that the paladin shapes the bayard. So lion = paladin = bayard. The lion and paladin should be similar in personalty, and the bayard should be compatible to the paladin’s style of fighting and personality as well. This is shown really well in Hunk and Pidge: Pidge’s weapon is small (like her), electric (reflecting her interest in computers), and made for precision (Pidge is more interested in finding clever solutions than just brute-forcing problems), while Hunk’s is big (just like him), long-range (reflecting his wish to stay distanced from conflict), and packs a punch (Hunk is the strongest character on the team, after all).

So the weapons tell us something about the personalities of the ones using them. But what can their respective weapons tell us about Keith, Lance, and Allura?

Let’s start with Mr. “I want you to lead Voltron” himself:

Keith’s weapon is a sword, which is all sorts of metaphorical fun. Swords in literature (besides being like. hella phallic lmao) are usually associated with the archetype of the knight. 

The knight character usually brings to mind two sets of traits: leadership, wisdom, chivalry, and arrogance (yay phallic symbolism) and on the flip side, hot bloodedness, passion, youth, romance, inexperience, and naiveté. Knighthood stories usually either follow an older, wiser knight as they go on a quest (usually to repay an old debt of some sort, a la Beowulf), or a younger, bright-eyed knight as they set out on an adventure of some sort (which typically involve a pretty girl in some way). Two very different possible characterizations! As you can see, sword imagery is a... double edged sword. 

(I’ll show myself out)

Keith doesn’t have the naiveté or sense of romance that young knights often have, but the traits of hot bloodedness, passion, and youth fit him well. He’s definitely an impulsive character, prone to charging into battle without a plan:

(it was such a bad idea that Hunk thought it was a joke sldkjf)

The sword itself is a very impulsive, instinctive weapon. Sword fighting is about being faster than your opponent and values making the first strike. It’s also a reaction-based weapon that requires that you respond to your opponent’s attacks. Instinct is key in sword fighting– you have to be able to quickly respond when a blow is coming at you. This fits into the whole “relies on instinct more than skill alone” thing of the Red Lion.

The sword is also a weapon of violence. Knights were... usually not actually great, noble guys in practice. Keith subverts that whole mess by being a genuinely nice kid, but we see the bloodthirstiness typically associated with his weapon in scenes like at the end of season 1, where he charges in to attack Zarkon despite the fact that that’s. A really bad idea. Like I said, Keith’s a passionate character, and that can often translate into stabbiness with him. 

As a close-range weapon, swords require that their users be brave enough to get close to their enemy. The user also has to be pretty confident that they’ll be able to handle themselves in a fight, because you gotta get like super close to someone that wants to kill you and be fairly certain that you’re the one who’s gonna make it out alive. Definitely Keith.

The sword is also tied with the traits of adventure, protection, and duty. Keith kicks off half of this whole Voltron adventure by going to get Shiro (Lance brings Pidge and Hunk along and finishes the party). His protective instinct is seen when he saves Shiro in season 2, covers Lance when they fight together, and tries to leave the team because he thinks they’re being tracked through them. His sense of duty is seen when he argues that Pidge can’t leave the team to go after her family bc they need her for Voltron (like... not ur call tho buddy) and when he turns away from his past in BoM to save people.

And it’s a rebel’s weapon! Which totally fits the whole “had a discipline issue and flunked out” thing at the Garrison. My boy doesn’t like authority at all lmao. When Coran tries to stop him from fighting Zarkon he just. Runs off and does it anyway. I love him.

Another motif often tied to swords is brotherhood. “Brothers in arms,” and all that. In that scene with the Blade Of Marmora, the armor Keith’s wearing is meant to show the wearer’s hopes and fears, and he sees Shiro, someone he considers a brother, walking away from him. The choice he is forced to make in this scene is between knowledge and companionship, and then between knowledge and heroism, which is telling of what Keith values as a person. He actually chooses knowledge over companionship during his conversation with Shiro, which... actually doesn’t really fit with the knight motif at all. But he then chooses heroism over knowledge, turning away from the answers to his past, which does. Either way, the decision to pick his past over his friends was clearly a difficult one to Keith, which makes sense, as knights are often more interested in interpersonal relationships and saving others than the pursuit of wisdom.

(Interestingly, though, Lance calls Keith a “samurai” in the comic, and the samurai archetype is often associated with traits like loneliness, wandering, and being lost. So while Keith clearly places value in bonds with others, like a knight, it seems that in practice he behaves more like the lonely samurai. Aw :( )

At his core, Keith is a very loyal character, both to the cause of saving the Universe and to his teammates. And this is consistent with his weapon. Knights are often sworn to a lord or lady or cause that they’ll fight for. With Keith, that cause and those people are Team Voltron.

Alright so that’s a lot on Keith. Now onto Lance:

His bayard’s a gun! Also super phallic lol. But ignoring that, let’s talk about what this says about Lance!

Alright, so for one thing, Lance’s weapon is built for medium to long range fighting. It’s a weapon that requires distance from the opponent. This shows a tendency to disengage when possible, which is absolutely consistent with Lance’s character. He prefers to think up a plan rather than charge right in.

Lance’s weapon also calls upon the archetype of the sniper. When you think of a sniper, the trait of patience probably comes to mind– the sniper of the group is usually the guy sitting up on a high place, observing the lay of the land and quietly waiting around to make their shot. While it may seem at first glance like Lance’s loud-mouthed, hyper personality doesn’t fit this archetype at all, it… actually does. Really, really well.

(God this shot (heh) always gives me shivers)

Take this scene for example. Lance, despite the closing doors, the fact that he’s just been shot out into space, and the stress on him (they need Slav for their whole plan to work), makes the shot and saves Slav. And he waits for the perfect moment before shooting. The cool-headedness he shows here is astounding.

Plus, think of his Garrison backstory. He was a cargo class pilot at the Garrison despite wanting to be fighter class. But did he give up? Not at all. He continued to work to be top of his class so that when a slot opened up, he was able to be moved up into fighter class. And he did this with no indication that a place would even open up in the first place. He was likely working for quite some time before Keith got kicked out. He’s actually a pretty patient character!!

On the flip side, though, there’s the idea of the “itchy trigger finger.” Lance doesn’t always think things through– he can also be pretty hotblooded and passionate and make snap (read: bad) decisions (like in the case of his thirst for Nyma, for one). That also says something interesting about his character: impulse = bad when it comes to Lance. An itchy trigger finger is a negative thing. While with the sword, passion and energy can be good, noble things, the gun is a weapon that almost exclusively causes harm when used impulsively. Keith’s impulses tend to be on the right path, while Lance’s are usually bad.

The gun ultimately requires focus. When a sniper’s eye strays from the scope, the shot’s lost. A lot of the times Lance messes up in when he’s looking at the people around him for approval / praise instead of focusing on the task. In episode 1 he crashes the simulator because he’s bragging, at one point in season 1 he crashes into something when boasting to Shiro about how he’s not an amateur, etc. etc. However, in situations like the above where Lance is focusing on a task and not on the opinions of others, he’s extremely effective. 

This plays interestingly with another trait of the sniper archetype: observation. A sniper is often looking at things from a higher vantage point and watching others. While they have to be focused, they also have to be aware of the things around them. When he talks about his team during the episode with the prison break in season 2, Lance easily describes each of their strengths, and in season 1, he’s able to tell that the bomb isn’t Rover almost immediately, because Pidge isn’t with it. For someone that seems so self-absorbed at first glance, Lance is very in tune with the people in his environment and the environment itself.

On that note, the gun, like the sword, is a weapon of decisiveness. There’s really no taking back a shot bullet, just as it’s hard to stop a blade once it’s swung. The user of a gun must use it at the right moment, and with precise aim. In the scene above where he’s rescuing Slav, Lance only gets one shot (heh) to do what he can. And he follows through with one decisive flick of his finger.

But that edges into the dark side of the gun. While there’s definitely the trait of cool-headedness associated with gun users, this can also toe the line of cruelty. Characters with guns can be lone wolves and cold-blooded killers– the distance from their opponents makes them more able to detach from the act of killing. There’s also an aspect of cowardice to it, as the user often doesn’t face their opponents head to head.

I’d say that the narrative tosses that set of traits aside for Lance, though. When saving Slav, Lance goes for the warden’s arm, not a killing shot. Lance uses his gun to minimize damage, not cause it-- he often shows a preoccupation with the well-being of others (like when he reminds Keith to be careful with the Balmera because they’re alive). And Lance is definitely pretty brave (like when he pushes Coran out of the way of that bomb). His talkative personalty also subverts the lone wolf trope. However, the fact that his weapon requires distance can be a reflection of the loneliness he feels (he thinks he’s a seventh wheel :’( ).

Last, but definitely not least, we move onto Allura:

Alright, so the thing about Allura is that she doesn’t actually have a bayard. She does, however, have a weapon of choice, which is a staff.

(more… phallic imagery…….)

I’ll be honest, my knowledge of martial arts is limited and my English classes don’t typically cover staffs (heh), because none of the characters in the books I’ve read so far actually like… use staffs to fight. BUT I’ll try my best lmao

The staff has an interesting duality to it: on one hand, it’s a very firm weapon that requires strength and a good, firm stance to wield, while on the other, it’s a very flexible weapon that allows its user to change direction and move. This matches Allura’s character well. She can be really stern and really stubborn (when she insists on going into the ship in season 1, when she runs off with Keith, when she refuses to work with the BoM, etc.), but she’s also adaptable and flexible (when she wakes up and is like “yeah okay I guess I slept for 10000 years,” when she trains the paladins despite their being young and inexperienced because hey, they’re what we’ve got, when she works with the Blade of Marmora despite the fact that the Galra killed her entire people, etc.). Allura digs her heels in at times and lets herself go with the flow at others.

The staff is a weapon of strength and steadiness, one that has the ability to withstand blows. Allura goes through like. So much through the story, what with her losing her home, her people, and then her father’s AI. But despite that, she doesn’t crumble. Girl’s strong as hell.

But, on the flip side, it’s also a weapon of lightfootedness, a la Aang from Avatar the Last Airbender. I mentioned mobility and flexibility earlier, and that’s absolutely relevant to Allura. The staff allows its user to maneuver quickly. Similarly, Allura facilitates travel for the team: she provides wormholes so they can move around the universe to fight / ditch Zarkon. She’s a mobile, versatile fighter.

The staff is a weapon that’s close range. It has you get right up in your opponent’s face. So, like the sword, it requires that its user be confident and able to respond to attacks quickly. It’s a reaction-based weapon.

However, while it’s close range, the staff also allows the user to keep its opponent at a certain distance if they choose. This quality of the staff reflects Allura’s tendency to “strategize on the fly.” She’s close to her opponent like Keith, but can keep them at a farther distance than he can, like Lance. So she can, if she wants to, step back and get a broader look at the situation. As a result, Allura can rely on both instinct and observation.

It’s also an avoidant weapon, whose main strength lies in parrying the opponent-- it’s built for weathering blows and getting in strategic counterblows. As previously mentioned, this is the strategy of Team Voltron in the war: they attack Zarkon where they can, but otherwise avoid and regroup. It’s a strategy of wearing the opponent down.

The staff’s a difficult weapon to kill with. It doesn’t have a blade like the sword or bullet like the gun. It’s a weapon whose main purpose is to protect, not maim. This is reflected in Allura’s tendency to prefer diplomacy to violence.

Staffs also bring to mind balance. Allura is balancing a lot between helping train the new paladins, running the castleship, and organizing resistance against Zarkon. She’s a character that has to juggle several responsibilities, and she does so expertly.

Some more fun things about the staff (@quillowl thanks for the info!!) is that it can symbolize either a cane or a scepter. The scepter has close ties with responsibility and royalty. As the Commander of the Castle of Lions, Allura is charged with... basically running this whole Voltron show. And, she’s a princess, so, royalty.

As for the cane, it apparently has ties with the traits of wisdom and age. Allura is quite literally 10000 years old, so there’s the age part. And she’s a very wise leader (though she sometimes jumps the gun). The cane also denotes support. 

Alright, this is already getting really long so we’re gonna jump to the good part. What does this have to do with the lions?

Allura states here that the quintessence of the lion matches that of their pilot. I’m basically 99% sure that there’s going to be a lion swap in season 3, what with Shiro out of the picture (for a while at least??), and the three lions that are most likely up for grabs are Black, Red, and Blue. The three people that will most likely fill one of those positions are Allura, Keith, and Lance (though for Allura to do so they’ll have to find a way for Coran to pilot the castle without her).

The Black Lion is the decisive head of Voltron, and requires a born leader who is in control at all times. Its related element is Air.

The Red Lion is the most temperamental of the lions and requires a pilot that relies more on instinct than skill alone. Its related element is Fire.

The Blue Lion’s traits are not stated outright on the show, but the Voltron website describes it as the friendliest of the lions, the most accepting of new pilots, and one of the most confident. Its related element is Water.

So who’s going where?

Well, each of these characters has the decisiveness required of the Black Lion, but personally, I think that Keith fits the Red Lion’s traits a bit too well to be moved from it. Keith fights with his instincts more than his head, which serves him well in battle. He’s agile, like his lion, and quick to charge into a fight (even when it might not be wise to do so). Plus, his relationship to the motif of brotherhood makes it hard for me to believe that he and Red will be easily separated. I think that Keith’s sense of duty to Shiro will make him try to pilot the Black Lion for at least a while, but his deep bond with Red will probably prevent him from keeping the role. However, he would be a good fit if the job if they did keep him in the Black Lion. The sword is a weapon of leadership-- Keith would just have to learn how to hone it. 

As for Allura, if she is put in a lion, she has the friendliness of the Blue Lion, seen in her tendency to use diplomacy where she can. Her adaptability is consistent with that of the Blue Lion’s element of water– she “goes with the flow.” Plus, the staff is a weapon that is more difficult to hurt others with, and water is the element of healing. The Blue Lion is also a very well-balanced lion stat wise, reflecting Allura’s preference towards weapons that are balanced. And Allura has the steadiness and strength that a leg of Voltron would need to support the team, just as Hunk does.

On the flip side, that firmness and strength would also serve her as the Head of Voltron. Her adaptability makes her the flexible leader she already is, and the Black Lion is also a very well balanced weapon. Her ability to juggle so many things reflects a leader’s ability to balance and keep track of their team. Plus, the interpretation of the staff as a scepter calls to mind leadership, dignity, and responsibility-- all of which the head of Voltron should have. The staff is also, again, a weapon of lightfootedness, which is a definite argument that Allura’s native element could be Air, aka the Black Lion’s element.

As for putting Allura in the Red Lion, the agility and mobility her weapon provides would suit Red well. However, Red is a temperamental lion, and while Allura is passionate and fiery in personality, the staff errs more on the side of defense than on attack. Red would appreciate Allura’s willingness to step forward and attack, but might become frustrated with her tendency to keep distance from the opponent and strategize in the meantime.

And that leaves Lance, who’s a little weird. He’s been in the Blue Lion this whole time, but his weapon doesn’t really seem to match Blue’s flexibility as far as I can tell (the gun is too… constricted, you feel me??) or friendliness (guns require distance from others!!). It also doesn’t really match the impulsivity and instinct of the Red Lion, either. It’s very likely that Lance will, at first, be moved to the Red Lion, but I can’t see him fitting the role well. His weapon doesn’t have the agility and mobility of the Red Lion. And, as we’ve said, the gun isn’t a weapon that really works instinctively– when Lance takes that shot in season 2, there’s thought put into it. Impulse + guns (according to the above interpretation) = not great. His tendency to distance himself from problems and think things through even a little would probably piss Red tf off.

However, his decisiveness and patience could be a good fit for the Black Lion. Shiro has told Keith, “patience yields focus” and the weapon of the gun requires both patience to aim and focus to fire. Plus, Lance’s observational skills are befitting of a leader: he’s familiar with the strengths of the team and is quick to tell when something is wrong. The fact that his weapon requires distance shows a tendency like Allura’s to step back and look at a situation to diffuse it, also what a leader would do. He’d have to work on staying on task though lol.

Anyway yikes this got long but my point is that the weapons of the paladins might have been telling us more than we thought!! I’m not completely certain these three are gonna swap for sure or anything, or if Allura is going to get a lion in the first place given the fact that the castle needs her, but I think that if they were to do it, Black Paladin Lance, Red Paladin Keith, and Blue Paladin Allura would make the most sense based on this particular analysis (though keep in mind that I’m biased because I love Lance haha).

But hey the show writers could be interpreting their characters another way, in which case I just wasted like 2 hours I probably should have spent studying but oh well lmao