#his only friends as of now are Matt and Wade and maybe Peter but his more of an acquaintance

[random-civilian-number40]

big ol bug eyes

[aliorsboxostuff]

I have an idea for a deadpool x male reader fanfic, the reader confessing his love to deadpool or visa versa. Thanks!

Thank you for the idea anon! Anything to write a good, fluffy, deadpool x male!reader fic <3

Before we start I do want to make Reader a vigilante that has ice powers (Not a mutant, a failed government experiment!) because I refuse to believe a normal citizen can compete with any hero in a relationship (except maybe Pepper Pots but that's also because she's tired of Tony and has said "fuck it" to most of his shit) Also, Team red is here! (This fic feels so jumpy because i tried making this compact, if it feels off i'm very sorry anon!)

Now enjoy the fic ♡

Cold Hearted (not)

pairing: Deadpool x male!reader

tags: fluff, confessions, Wade is a little dumb but we love him, Little angst but thats just self doubts, meet-cute, Team Red tired of Yours and Wade's pining, Slight OOC (sorry wade!), Vigilante!Reader, Wade's inner voices is a little shit,

What happens when you bring a absolutely fucked up assassin, a family of unstable heroes wearing mostly red suits, a vigilante with ice powers, and a whole lot of feelings? Thats right, absolute chaos.

---

This just in; famous assassin and insane person, Wade Wilson, also known as Deadpool, has fallen in love!

That could be heard ringing in Wade's ear as he stops to a halt in front of 'Nelson, Murdock and Page's doorstep. He's in his civvies; an indigo hoodie pulled under his cap and is supporting a drug dealer type of mystery. Though that didn't stop the drop-dead gorgeous man that was perched on the edge of Karen's desk to come up and greet him, his hands outstretched. 

It takes a second for Wade to come back online, his inner monologue kicking him in the back and shouting Shake his hand you dumbass! for him to recuperate. He grins, the charming grin he uses to get his way with villains—that usually doesn't work—and shakes the man's hand. He notes the softness of it and a tinge of chill from the tips of his fingers.

"Wade Wilson," Should we say deadpool? No you fuck, he's clearly just a dude stopping by Matt's place. Yeah, a very pretty dude.

Wade gulps as he hears the slight shake in his voice, only for the angel to smile and chuckle. 

"Hi Wade," His eyes shine as he introduces himself, his name is a word that will definitely be bouncing in his head for the next few weeks. When the man lets go of his hand he's suddenly self-conscious of his always-changing skin and shoves his hands in his hoodie pockets. What?! We've always worn this body like a drag costume! Don't suddenly pussy out you dick.

"Wade, what brings you here," Matt emerges from his office, supporting his red glasses but leaving his jacket on his office chair. He could probably hear our fucking drum band of a heartbeat, shit.

"Was looking for Petey, you've seen him?" 

"What, you can't reach him?" Matt adjusts his frames.

"He probably put his phone on silent, he does that when he's studying," The Greek god pops in, and he's already assuming his earlier position on Karen's desk, legs crossed. 

"You know Peter?"

"Yeah, Parker right? We go to MIT together," He nods, another blinding grin. How many times is he gonna that? I don't know but I think we might need those glasses from Matt.

"Last I've heard he's with his friends doing homework in some cafe downtown, I can give you the address if you'd like," 

Wade tries to shrug and play it cool—he really does—but his hand brushes with you when he hands his phone, sending a sting down his spine that makes his breath cut slightly. Matt cocks his head at that, at which Wade prays he won't bring it up on their patrol tonight.

"Here," You gave his phone back. "Shouldn't be far," 

"Thanks, cutie," Slip up!

A blush makes its way up your neck to your cheeks, making you look away with a chuckle. Nevermind! I meant to say that, yup.

Wade says his leave to the group, noting the nudging grin on the side of Matt's lips, before he slides out of the office building and into the afternoon of Hell's kitchen. When he secures his hat, his phone buzzes from his pocket. A text pops up on his notification bar.

'Cutie huh? Is it fair if I set your contacts as 'gorgeous' then?'

Uh oh he's swooning, prepare to hit the wall in three… two…

Bless his healing factor or else he might've gotten a concussion from the way he swayed into the nearest wall and fell against it, a hand gripping his phone tightly while the other gripped over his heart. It feels like a thousand tree shredders decided to get to work simultaneously inside his stomach. He sighs, shaky fingers trying to reply to your text.

'Only fair if I get to set yours as 'fallen angel' ;)'

'Sure, Wade,' Blushing emoji at the end of his text. Blushing emoji?! What?! Really?! Are we that good? Obviously, we are.

The smile on his face won't drop, not when he passes a bunch of kids and they gawk at him weirdly, not when he narrowly avoids a splash of dirty puddle to his jeans, not when some douche tried to attack him and drag him to a dingy alleyway; him clearly winning the fight, not even when he enters the Cafe, filled with college students that desperately needs sleep and is living off of caffeine, and he slips next to Peter.

"Are those…" The hero peers under Wade's cap. "What's with the heart eyes, Wade?"

"Just allergies, webs,"

—

A couple of weeks after Wade meets you, he comes by to your patrols almost every night. How he found out your hero identity was… embarrassing, to say the least.

—

"You couldn't feel his unnatural body heat?" 

"I'm not The Professor Matt! For all I know he was one those types of people who refuse to wear blankets even if their fingers are falling off from the AC," 

Wade is stuffing his face with Pringles while Matt is nibbling on a lone chip. Midnight accompanies the two as they sit on a roof, having finished their first shift of patrol. Wade has freed his mouth to eat and talk. 

"Sure, but the blue eyes? Strikingly Blue, might I add,"

"How in the mother fuck did you-"

"Foggy described it to me, he actually realized faster than you, Wade," At that, Wade deflates into the edge of the roof. Way to go, nuts for brains!

"Though, I do have to admit," Matt reaches for another chip. "He plays his civilian role very well," He grins.

"I was almost fooled if it weren't for the ice coursing through his veins, its like icicles stabbing at red patties," 

Wade wonders how a blood cell would look like impaled before he huffs, reaching into the can to chew on potato chips again. There was a moment of silence before Matt perked up. And they call me mouth for brains.

"Your heartbeat increased when he came by earlier,"

"Okay devil baby, shut up," He groans. "Can't you see I'm trying to Thanos snap myself here?"

Matt hums, before he chokes on his chip then laughs loudly. It shocked Wade enough to make him sit up, staring at Matt like he was wearing an underwear over his head. His laughing dies, before it starts again and this time he wipes a nonexistent tear.

"Ah, so-" He stifles a chuckle. "So you like him,"

"No shit Sherlock, took your sweet time to deduce that, didn't ya'?"

Wade surrendered faster because he knew Matt would've found out an hour after he met. The vigilante is still laughing, supporting a smug grin when he finally finishes.

They continue their patrol shift until Peter changes with Matt, Wade going with the hero. Apparently, Peter had also known about his crush's secret identity, wow!

"He goes by Frostbite, by the way. Told me when I found him bleeding near a trash can behind my apartment," Peter says nonchalantly as he jumps to another roof. Wade could've stopped right then and there with the image of his angel lying helplessly on the concrete floor, no doubt dirtier than a Taco Bell toilet. But he paces with Peter, jumping and hurdling without worry, while he does mental gymnastics inside.

"I can trust you with his name though, right?"

"Oh my gosh, webs! It's like we haven't been friends for years now! Remember, I'm the one who introduced you to the X-Men!" Wade retorts, landing on another roof.

"Actually, it was Colossus who gave me the tour- never mind," Peter sighs, Wade calls it a win. They continue to traverse the city quietly before Peter chirps. Seriously, what's with us being quiet? Is this because of the prince charming?

"If you ever wanna meet him in his hero form, don't spook him, please,"

"What? Of course I wouldn't, I'll just meet him on patrol and strike up a conversation like any normal human being would!" Except you aren't normal, dumbass.

Wade only hears the distant hum Peter gives as an answer, and they continue on their patrol. However…

A night later Wade gets information that his vigilante crush is going to bust the remaining goons of Wilson Fisk that were hanging around an abandoned warehouse—Seriously, what's with all these dirty mucky places? couldn't have chosen a better establishment, geez.

He had sneaked from the shattered roof and dropped into the second floor, balancing on creaky wood as he made his way to a hole in the floor, bits of wood prickling at the sides of the circle. Underneath, Wade spots the mussed hair of his crush, facing away from him. Must be doing those moody monologues like Matt used to.

"Hey! Over here cutie!" He turns swiftly and Wade couldn't do anything before he's pulled roughly through the too-small hole on the floor, breaking the wood from the sheer force, making a couple of those jutting planks stab him. He lands on the concrete floor with a loud thump and groans. He spots you retracting your weapon, before familiarity hits you.

"Deadpool?!" He rushes over, turning the assassin over, hands quickly roaming around to find his wounds, only for them to close just as you spot them.

"Hey…" He tries again. "I knew that was you,"

His crush abruptly stands, dagger placed dangerously close to Wade's neck, his voice as cold as icebergs. "What are you talking about?" He pushes the sharp weapon, it glints under the moonlight.

"Who sent you?"

"Hey, hey!" Wade tugs his mask off, revealing all of his face. "It's me! Wade!" There goes the secret identity.

If Wade squints, he's sure he could see a loading circle above your head, before you jump back and land on your ass, mouth dropped to the floor, eyes wide.

"Wade?! What the FUCK!" 

"Yeah- Yes, I know, sorry-"

"What are you doing here?!"

"Slow down swiper, I'm not a part of that soccer balls plans," 

You huff from where you've landed, hand fiddling the edge of your dark blue mask. You slowly stand, arms following to cross on your chest, an eyebrow raised. Wade sighs on the floor, reaches for his mask and slips it on.

"I got info from webs that you'd be here, and well," He scratches his nape. "What better way to get to know you more than to meet you!"

"On duty?" Fuck.

"Okay buddy, you're making it sound like I spoiled your surprise- Which! I didn't, you know," He turns to his surroundings once. "Great job on the sculptures by the way,"

"Thanks, it's an original," You grin. Wade makes an amused huff and approaches one, the sharp edges of the ice spikes covered in red, and runs his finger on it. 

"So… Elsa?" 

"Excuse me?"

"Frozen? only the second best-animated film, losing to the Bee Movie,"

When Wade turns around, he finds his angel shaking, his shoulder squished to his body. He was about to reach out when he burst out, laughing, holding his stomach as he doubles over. We're pretty sure what we said was factual, does he like Frozen more than The Bee Movie?

"Holy shit, Wade," He tries to inhale. "What-" And laughs again. 

Wade only stood there, basking in the echoing sweet laughs of his crush, his angel. The way a prominent hue of red follows down from his cheeks, hidden under his mask, to his neckline. His eyes squint, radiating pure glee and Wade drinks it like he's dehydrated. He really is stunning. Enough to make us shut up.

Eventually, he stops and collects himself, huffing one last chuckle before he straightens. 

"What am I gonna do with you," He sighs. His word makes those damn tree shredders run again in Wade's stomach, his hindbrain wagging its tail from the fondness that leaks from his words.

He turns to exit the building, before glancing at Wade then extends his hands. "Come on, the night's still young,"

—

Weeks passed and your relationship with Wade grew. You've learned that he prefers to snuggle on a rainy day and would not budge without his mask. You learned he likes chimichangas, and went on your first 'date' with him—You're too embarrassed to call it a date while there's still nothing going on with you two—to the food truck that sells the best in town. You've learned that he had an ex, who died horribly—Vanessa was her name, Wade showed you her picture—And from what Wade told you, you wished you would've known her before everything. You've learned how he became Deadpool, things he went through that would make a man crumble, while your heart grows in size, enough to fit Wade in if he ever wants to. 

In turn, Wade has also learned a lot about you, even his inner monologues like you. Sure we do, it's not like we can't hate the sunshine in front of us. 

He's learned about your favorite places to have fun, to relax, to let out pent-up anger. He's learned how you prefer your drinks, how cold you want the room to be. He's learned about your favorite animal, taking notes to send pictures of them every morning. He's learned how you became the way you are; your powers weren't mutations, not like what he thought it was, but a failed government experiment. He learned that they tossed you out the second your power did not manifest, even though it took you surviving a week of fever for the ice cells to merge with your blood cells. 

"So do you really go to MIT?"

"Fuck, I wish. I'm as dumb as a pigeon,"

"Oh don't try to out dumb me, frozone, this head of mine," He knocks his head with his knuckles, then whispers, "Is run solely on hamster power," It makes you guffaws, Wade preens from it.

Apparently, Peter was the first person to find you off the vigilante mask. It didn't hit him with a wave of jealousy, Of course not, that'd be embarrassing… Right? We're not jealous of webs, right?

And so the two of you continued that way, patrolling together each night, you fulfilling Wade's dream and making him snowcones after patrols, crashing at Wade's place because even though it's messy it's way bigger than yours, waking up side by side on his king sized bed before immediately blushing from how close you are to Wade's serene face. It went on and on, flirting off duty every day—At which Matt scoffs and Peter groans—Helping the firm with cases, hanging on web hammocks with Pete, and doing grocery runs with the assassin. You and Wade were perfect like that, and you didn't feel the need to change what's happening currently. 

—

Until one night.

It was a successful bust. A drug chain as deep as the Atlantic Ocean has just been uncovered thanks to Team Red and Frostbite. It only took one stray detail for it all to crumble down and for the team to swoop in and clean up. They all came out of the fight relatively okay—Wade might've lost a chunk of his hip and Matt got some broken ribs but hey that's just another night busting bad guys, right?—And had decided to crash in Matt's apartment since he was the closest. 

The four of you all collapsed once Matt made sure his apartment was secured and locked tight. Peter quickly divests himself of his suit and stands in the kitchen with Hello Kitty pajama pants and a shirt, fixing himself a drink. Matt disappeared into his bathroom, a steady sound of water streaming indicating a shower. While Wade had landed on the plush couch on his back, mask pulled up to his nose.

You stood in the middle of the room, finally took your battered armor off and scattered them somewhere in a pile. You huff, looking around, before settling down on top of Wade's relaxed chest.

"Ouch, watch the cuts snowman," You only chuckle and nuzzle deeper into the assassin's chest, knowing he meant no bite.

"Hm, sorry," His hand has started drawing circles on your back, soothing the most likely strained muscle somewhere in your middle. The room was lit solely by the billboard outside, most of the lights in the room remained off. Despite Wade's erratic beats, it calms your nerves as you feel the adrenaline dying inside your body, aches and bruises starting to make their presence known, but the man beneath you kept a steady breath, his hand now playing with your locks while the other held you just above your tailbone. 

"Hey," Wade's voice washes over you like a deep timbre, his hand now cupping your nape. You inhaled sharply, before meeting the assassin with a smirk. 

"Hi," You answered, watching a wound beneath Wade's eye heal, before meeting his eyes, black engulfs his usual deep blues. 

You could feel his breath, inches away from your lips. With the way you're laying on him, it only took a slight push from his hand to brush his lips against yours, and you gulp. Wade drifted towards your lips for a second, before back to your gaze, but you licked your lips and grin instead, making the man inhale sharply. 

"Oh my god!" You and Wade shoot apart, eyes darted to an annoyed Peter meter away, his hands flown over his head in disbelief. "Just kiss already!"

"It's been a year since you two met and you clearly," He swallows, and huffs. "Clearly you two like each other,"

"Peter's right," Matt walks out from his room, glasses nowhere to be seen. "I mean, I could practically hear the growing arousal from you two,"

"Ugh! okay, gross, but also, like Matt said!" The lawyer nods.

Your face reds, quickly shoving yourself off of Wade and stumbles to a stand. The man sits up on his elbows, his face confused while his blues has a slight shake to it. 

'Not again, not now.' Your heart races.

Hey! Frosty has an inner voice too! Zip it sir-talks-a-lot this is some serious shit, it's like when the protagonist finds out he murdered his family in cold blood instead of his ex!

The next thing you know you've dashed to the top of Matt's stairs, bursting through the doors, the rush of cold midnight air didn't deter you from pushing the doors close, blocking them with stray bricks on the roof, running to the edge, trying to regain your breath. 

You've cocooned yourself in ice at the corner of the roof, blocked off from the outside. Your breath has finally even out, despite the storm inside your head. You don't hate Wade, god, you love him! But how can someone so bright and funny and caring find someone like you interesting?

Someone has some shit to sort out! Alright, time to bust out the big guns.

You perk when you hear heavy footsteps approaching you, before it stops. Familiar red and black boots stands in front of your little opening. 

"Hey baby," 

'Stop,' You tried to vocalize, only managing to burst out ice spikes from your palm into the floor.

"Can you come out of there? I can't exactly talk to a snowglobe," 

Breathing a ragged sigh, you ease your powers to let the ice melt around you. 

Holy shit it's like those fancy desserts where the chocolate ball melts away to something sweet!

"Wow," Wade breathes, you realize he's only wearing a white fitted shirt with his suit pants. It makes your face burn. "It's like opening a Christmas present,"

"Wade," You groan, feeling the last of your shield melt away. He sits himself next to you, enough that your shoulders touch. 

"Listen, angel," He begins.

"I'm not the best with these sappy talks and all, but what I do know, is that friends don't just storm off," Wade bumps into your shoulder, making you scoff.

"Unless, there's something they're hiding," 

"Come on Wade," You stand abruptly. "It's like you can't read the room!" 

"I can!"

"Then do it, read the room." You crossed your arms, a sense of Deja vu flashes. 

"Sure! I know that you clearly have a crush on me," 

"Exactly!"

Hold on, what?!

you huff, sitting down then burying your head into your knees, your eyes anywhere but Wade's face. "I like you, Wade, so much it hurts!" 

"You're great and caring! You're creative, always got a joke to lift up any sour mood, not to mention you're never boring to talk to!" A smile forces its way to your lips. It quivers slightly. 

"And so are you," 

the silence rings. 

Wade—Careful, caring Wade—Scoots closer, brings your hands to his, running a calloused thumb over your knuckles. "Babe, I love you too," he starts.

"I don't know what you see in this shit hole mug, but those nice things you said about me," He pauses, steadying a hand to cup your cheek. "Those are true for you too,"

"Honestly I don't know which forgiving god blessed me to meet you," You laugh wetly. "But I'm glad I did," Smooth talker Wade Wilson here!

You grin, holding Wade's hand that's soothing the tears streaming down your face. You grin, at which Wade smiles softly, his dark blues as if asking permission. Unable to hold the burning feeling coiling within you, you closed the gap between you and Wade's lips.

It's soft, experimental, before your hand pulls Wade's nape closer, deepening the kiss, just slightly. He hums and it buzzes through you, you sigh in contentment.

When you two part, Wade's eyes are blown in both shock and relief somehow, he grins dopely. It makes you laugh, you hold yourself against him, your head dropping to his chest. 

"I love you, Wade," You breathe, inhaling the scent of musk and grime, something acidic within Wade's body, but that smell brings you peace, calms your ramming heart. His hand finds your middle, the other soothing down your locks. He presses to your crown, the sensation makes you breathe out a soft sigh.

"I love you too baby," 

"Now let's get back inside before Matt complains about the leaking on top of his laundry room," The realization makes you red. Wade laughs along with you.

Walking together into the warmth of the apartment; you take note to apologize to Matt for the drip the aftermath of your powers caused, and to cuddle together with Wade once the night pulls the group enough to sleep. 

Happy ending, woo!

[bookworm-called-bear]

The Devil of Park Row

Hear me out, Hear me out- we see Peter Parker go to the DC universe all the time alone, but it would be much angstier and in my opinion, funnier if all of team red/Matt Murdock went as well.

Team Red was fighting someone, something that was far out of their league. The Avengers were disbanded, the world was post-blip and they were on their own. I’m one of the few moments that they were all standing together, the opponent hit them, all of them. Their vision went black and when they came to, they were leaned against a wall in a dark alleyway with nothing but their suits.

Wade comes to first. He realizes they’re in another universe and quickly grabs them the supplies they might need. He went out in search of backpacks, normal clothes, money, and possibly food. When he gets back, he saw that both Matt and Peter were awake. The three move and find an old abandoned building (firehouse? Old WE building, maybe even one of Red Hoods old hideouts). They set up shop, they make a list of what needs to happen, they square away their story.

Peter goes to the library the next day to forge their documents. Now Peter Parker was officially Peter Murdock, Wade was Matt’s brother, and Matt Murdock had a legal license. They had what they needed to survive. Matt also had his registration as a blind man.

Now think about the rogues or the bats meeting Matt in his civilian clothes. He’s not relaxed, he never is, not since they landed here. His cane is tapping lightly on the ground in front of him, his back straight and jaw tense. Peter and Wade would be together, hopefully somewhere safe. Maybe they were finding more supplies, maybe they were out for a walk. He didn’t know. He was walking home from his work at the new attorney’s office when his senses go off.

Before he knows what’s happening, he’s hitting the person who had just shown up behind him. There’s a gas in the air (maybe fear gas instead of Joker gas) but since the gas requires visual hallucinations and he can’t see in the first place, he’s not as affected. Of course, he is still panicking and there was a lot of information coming in his senses, but he’s so used to helping Peter that he knows how to block it out.

Before the bats even have a chance to arrive, Scarecrow is knocked out on the ground and Matt is working on finding anyone that might have been harmed. Of course, this is when the bats show up.

Jason is first, full helmet with a rebreather on and looks around, ready to fight only to see that the guy is down. The only civilian left at the scene was Matt, everyone else had run when they had seen the beginnings of the gas. Anyone that was hit was herded away by friends.

So Jason goes up to talk to him. At first it’s just a small thing, trying to see if he was a rouge, but he pretty quickly realizes what’s happening when Matt finds his cane. So he tries to talk to him for a different reason, to ask how he tools down a supervillain while blind. But Matt is tired, he wants to go home, he’s barely eaten, his heart is still unusually fast, so all he says is,

“I’ll talk to you if you can help me find my kid.”

[evilwickedme]

What are your sexuality headcanons for all your superhero faves?

Oh my god do you know how many superhero favs I have

The OG, first in my heart, first in my tags, Buffy Summers: bisexual. End of story thank you

Willow Rosenberg is also bisexual tho whether she's a superhero I guess is more up to debate. One of the biggest cases of bisexual erasure in the history of television, in this essay I will

Actually warning you most of these are going to be bisexual

Peter Parker? Bisexual. Literally always. There has never been a straight Peter Parker the media is lying to you

Mary Jane Watson? Bisexual

Tim Drake? Bisexual (obviously as this is canon but it needs to be stated)

Matt Murdock? Bisexual

As are all his friends so Elektra, Foggy, Karen, etc, all bisexual

(I am working off the show for daredevil characters I'll get to the comics I swear I promise!!! I've read two whole issues that's progress right)

Gwen Stacy, in any and all iterations? Bisexual. ESPECIALLY Spider-Gwen/Ghost Spider but also 616 and 617 and tasm!Gwen

Emjay I believe is canonically a lesbian but it might be up to audience interpretation. Either way I can also see her as bisexual

Dick Grayson is bisexual, obviously

Roy Harper is also bisexual

Kory is bisexual

Actually there has yet to be a teen titans member who isn't bisexual

Except for Bart who's gray ace biromantic

Kon is bisexual, obviously, following this path

So is Cassie

(I've been reliably secondhand headcanoned that Cissie's a lesbian but a. she wasn't a teen titan b. I've read very little YJ)

Deadpool is omni or pan! That's different!

We've gone over this before and we'll go over it again: Jason Todd is aroace, maybe demi aroace. Maybe even demi aroace and gay

Murderdock is gay

Clark Kent is heterosexual, actually. He's biromantic tho

More importantly he's lois-sexual

Lois is bisexual tho

Smallville!Oliver Queen specifically is also bisexual because a. I love him and this is the highest honor I can bestow upon him and b. He like everyone else on that goddamn show was also in love with Clark

Actually now I need a Smallville!Clark/Lois/Oliver threesome fic. Something to think about

Magneto is, and I know this is going to be a big surprise to all of you, bisexual

Stephanie Brown is bisexual

Cassandra Cain is an ace lesbian

Diana (WW) is another canonically bisexual character but everyone's too big of a coward to write her a female love interest. It's worse than Wade he just got his first non binary love interest and he's only been around for 32 years

Idk I'm probably leaving someone important off just assume they're bisexual unless they're canonically queer in which case I respect that. Unless it was bisexual erasure in which case they're once again bisexual

[stackthedeck]

💖 and 🖊 for the fic asks?

Literally reblogged this hoping someone would ask these <3

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

Dialogue, I adore the way I write characters speaking especially recently. I always try to maintain character voice and if people can tell who's talking without the dialogue tag I feel so successful

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

oh this might be a kinda long snippet but this is from my team red series where Ellie (Wade's daughter) is coming to visit for the weekend and Matt is not into the idea of kids

As soon as the door closes behind Peter, Wade shoves Matt onto the couch. “What’s your fucking damage, man?”

“I don’t have damage,” Matt scoffs.

“Bullshit,” Wade says, “you are the king of damage and I’m the…co-king of damage. We are filled to the bursting with damage. Spill now so that you don’t spill it on Ellie when she gets here.”

“I think I’m going to do that anyway,” Matt says.

“That—” Wade points at him, digging his finger into his chest “—is what I’m fucking talking about. Children can smell fear, Matt. They will know if you don’t like them.”

“I like kids!” Matt says.

“You rescue kids, you hang out with your friends’ nieces and nephews, you take kids’ bleeding heart court cases. That’s not the same as liking them.”

“I—” Matt grabs Wade’s wrist, pulling him onto the couch to sit with him. He buries his head into Wade’s shoulder, not letting go of his hand. “What if I mess her up?”

“You won’t.” Wade squeezes his hand tighter. “You won’t have time to, she’s only here for the weekend.”

“But she’ll be around more,” Matt says, “I mean, you’re around more than one weekend, right?”

“Obviously,” Wade says, “but messing her up isn’t your problem to worry about, yet. You are the boyfriend of a guy that helped spawn a kid. Ellie isn’t going to call you dad, she barely calls me dad.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t—”

“Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t,” Wade says, “because I want Ellie in my life and I want you in my life, but if you can’t handle her, I can’t handle you.”

“Maybe it’s more like she can’t handle me.” Matt sighs, his expression tight and tired. “I don’t know how to be an adult to kids, I didn’t really have any adults—”

“You had a dad that loved you,” Wade says tightly, almost envious.

“A dad that died when I was nine! A dad that let me drink when I was nine, that expected me to clean his wounds without crying, made sure I studied and was the top of my class even when the other kids tormented me about it—” Matt cuts off his own ranting with a deep breath, flexing his hand around Wade’s own. “Jack Murdock was my hero, he was a good man, but I’m not sure if he was a good father.”

“He was better than mine,” Wade says.

Matt sighs then takes Wade’s face in his hands and kisses him. “Better than yours,” he agrees with a sad smile.

“You can have shit parents and not pass that on to your kids,” Wade says, “trust me, I wish I could be in Ellie’s life more and I’ve done some things I regret around her. But I think the fact that I’m there, that I’m trying is something. So just promise me, you’ll try, okay?”

“Of course, I’ll try,” Matt says, “I just…I wasn’t even a kid when I was a kid, you know? I was just an adult waiting to happen—”

“Oh that’s rich coming from you,” Wade laughs, “because you’re an absolute man-child.”

“Shut up, so are you.” Matt laughs too, punching Wade in the shoulder. Wade catches his wrist and then pulls him into another kiss.

“What I’m trying to say,” Matt says, pulling away from Wade just enough to get the words out, but not so far that he can’t feel the smile on his lips, “is that I don’t know what to do with kids.”

“Just act interested in whatever they’re saying, make sure they don’t die—” Wade shrugs “—worst case scenario, you hand her off to Peter who can throw her around like a football.”

“Do you want custody of Ellie?” Matt asks after a moment of quiet.

“God, no.” Wade laughs, shaking his head. “You had a point the other day, Deadpool isn’t good for a kid.”

“Wade Wilson might be,” Matt hums, “you’ve changed, you’re not killing, you’re sticking around.”

“And I’ve still got dangerous enemies and I’m still a mercenary.”

“For the best,” Matt says, “Being the almost step-daughter of Spider-Man and Daredevil probably isn’t safe. But you could bring her around more often.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Matt says, “we’ve been dating for months and this is the first time you’ve mentioned her. A couple more weekends, maybe a few holidays and birthdays, summer vacation even.”

“We’ll see how this weekend goes.”

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Promt:

JNon-power AU - Note: Top!Wade x Bottom!Peter

Writing prompt: I'm thinking about the story with Wade is still a mercenary and Peter is a college student/civillian. Peter is dating with Matt who is also a close friend with Weasel (same with Wade). Wade and Peter don't know each other at first. There is one day, Wade is back from a mission and passes by Weasel's bar for drinking then at that time Matt brings Peter to Weasel's bar as well, so they both meet each other the first time. After that, Wade has one-sided crush with Peter and he hides it from everyone and tries his best to be still a friend (and of course, Weasel sees it clearly but also keeps his mouth shut). Wade starts to *investigate* about Peter and maybe there is some points that Wade *coincidently* meets Peter somewhere else and have a hang out with him *like friends*.

The next part is the relationship between Matt and Peter getting worse with bad conflicts and arguements. And there is an accident which leads to Matt's death and Peter losses all his memories. He forgets everything about himself about all relationships he has for a period of time. Wade grabs that chance and takes care of Peter, bringing him home and trying his luck to make Peter fall in love with him.

That's all I can think about now 😅 it's not really completed. It can be NSFW at the ending but if it's too hard for you, it don't have to be. I love reading cuddles and sweet hugs and kissed. Please drown me in those stuffs.

For: @chucklumn

Okay this is super angsty and long.

I also got permission to make it about Peter and Harry, because I feel way to attached to Matt to do him dirty like this.

Anyway, Thank you for the amazing request. I hope you enjoy it!! XO

Warnings: Abusive relationship, Peter gets hit once - and also by a bus, SO SO SO much hurt comfort. Happy ending, memory loss. um.... I think that's it.

Word count: 8332 - Whoops.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter shook off the nightmare about his boyfriend.

Harry was involved in all sorts of things, some of which left a bad taste in Peter’s mouth. He was a complicated man and his business was even more so. Every party, gala, dinner party, would make Peter’s skin crawl.

But it was only for a little while longer. His guilt kept him in check, Harry was the same boy he’d always been and was working really hard to escape some of the more illegal and corrupt aspects of his father’s empire.

By the end of the year everything was going to be perfect. Harry promised.

Peter finally opened his eyes, reaching across the large bed to feel for his boyfriend. As every morning it was vacant. He rolled over and pulled the blankets tightly around himself. He ran through the promises Harry had told him.

He was being ridiculous. Eventually the shaking stopped and he could breathe normally again. He got up out of bed slowly and went straight for the shower.

The thing was very cold looking, it was stone with floor to ceiling glass wall around it. Despite the crisp, modern feel to Harry's apartment it only ever felt warm when he was around.

After rooting around in the cupboards for some breakfast food that didn't make him feel like he was in a rest home, he got started on his latest essay.

He was so focused on this particular part that he didn’t notice Harry come home. A hand came down on his shoulder that made him jump.

“Just me Pete” Harry said looking down at the messy desk. His voice sounded tired and stained.

“Sorry I was just trying to finish this last paragraph. How was work?” He watched as Harry took off his tie and jacket moving into the bedroom.

“It would have been better if you’d answered your phone” He called out. Shit. Peter checked his phone and noticed that he’d missed 4 texts and 2 phone calls. Apparently they were going to meet one of Harry’s friends and Peter was supposed to get ready.

Woops.

He almost wanted to laugh, it’s not like it ever took him more than five minutes to get ready to go anyway. Plus the text said they were meeting at a bar, no reason to look fancy. He heard Harry start the shower and moved through into their shared bedroom.

It was large with massive windows, very pretty. But he still missed their first apartment they had together out of highschool in Queens. This place had too much space, more to put in between them. He shook his head, thoughts like that were his own insecurities nothing more.

He pulled on some jeans and a clean t-shirt. Flopping on the bed waiting for Harry, he floated back to space to think about that last paragraph.

“Peter, can you mix it up tonight? Wear something a bit more complex.” He looked over his boyfriends muscular body. The urge to make a move was strong, but the look in his boyfriend's eyes was a powerful deterrent. There was a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Erm. This is a complex outfit.” He stood up and did a goofy walk to the closet. “It's a classic look, and now I'm going to tastefully layer it with a limited edition OBEY Hoodie I’ve had since I was in highschool. Predictable, delicious, and timeless.” He said it in a TV announcer voice, hoping it could pull the slightest smile from his boyfriend. Normally he would have just quipped something back at him, but he actually wanted to have a good night with him. It was rare that Peter was invited out for a normal pub night. Usually it was just nice restaurants and people who wanted Harry to contribute to their university admission or political career.

And there it was, that stupid grin.

“I know it’s going to be tough running defense on this outfit all night. But you know what you signed up for when you decided to date someone as wicked hot as me. It’s a curse really-” Harry came over and shut him up by placing a soft kiss on his lips. Peter enjoyed the tender moment, with how hard they were both working, it felt rare. He rested his forehead against Peter’s for a moment before getting dressed again.

“I have a friend who’s helping us with some of the accounts and software stuff.”

“You know I could help with that right?” Peter almost wished Harry would let him help.

“Nope. Not having another relationship ruined over this fucking company” He mumbled while checking his phone. Peter shrugged it off.

“So this guy meets in bars?” Peter questioned.

“No, I met him a while back. He runs a bar. He’s more familiar with the stuff my dad set up. Need someone familiar with it to help sort it out.” He sighed, Peter knew that he was almost out of questions for the night.

“Alright.”

_______

This was not a bar.

This was not a normal establishment.

This place gave him a very sick feeling.

There were, for lack of a better word, criminals everywhere. A violent bar fight unfolding in the back corner, the floor was sticky, the lights were too dim, the music too loud. Peter’s head started to pound and his palms got sweaty.

So much for a nice night out with friends.

Harry dragged him up to the bar, which was also sticky, to meet a very peculiar looking man. He seemed like an average enough dude. Except for his eyes, they were too perceptive and dark. They racked over Peter and he smiled like he just won a bet with someone.

“Weasel this is Peter, Peter this is my friend Weasel.” Harry said confidently, almost as if he was bored. Like this place was no different than being at a Denny’s or the apartment. He also hated that it was never my boyfriend Peter, or my partner, even my best friend since kindergarten. Always just Peter.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you” Peter said as politely as he could manage.

“Likewise” Weasel answered again like he was amused by an inside joke. “I’ll take you through to the back to talk about all this. You take a seat and enjoy”

“I’ll be right back.” Harry squeezed Peter’s shoulder before following after Weasel.

Peter’s stomach dropped. He would have been upset if this was a Denny's. But he was extra upset that this abnormal meeting spot left him with a considerably high chance of getting stabbed.

A very awkward looking man took Weasel's spot behind the bar.

“Would you like a drink?” He asked with an accent.

“Yes please - Erm” Normally he always insisted on spending his own money when they went out. He pulled a few days a week at a paid internship and he tried to save as much of it as he could, not wanting to burden Harry. But tonight, he didn't care. “Could I have a vodka cranberry? Please.”

“Good choice Mr.-”

“Parker. Peter Parker.”

“Dopinder! It’s nice to meet you Mr. Parker.” Peter didn't understand why this felt like a job interview but he went with it. The man started to ramble on about different things and Peter was grateful for his more approachable nature as opposed to the many people around him glaring.

He realized that this was a tough guy bar, so he probably ordered a Whiskey or something.

“DOPHINDER! Daddy just got paid, line 'em up for me.” A large man sat down on the stool next to him, Dopinder seemed to light up and pulled a very expensive bottle of tequila down from the shelf.

“And um another one of these pink things for this boy scout here.” His blue eyes turned on Peter and he hated how it made his face flush. He winked and gave him a wolfish smile.

“No, that's alright.” Peter stuttered. He downed the first shot.

“Is it though? Did they even card you? Can’t stand to see the corrupt youth of America in a place like this. Especially unattended.” He spoke a mile a minute and his voice was like honey.

“I’m legal. -” Peter started not knowing where else to begin.

“If you say so cutie.” He winked again. “So what's a place like this doing in a boy like you eh?”

“My boyfriend has a meeting with Weasel.” Peter answered lamely.

“Well I’m Weasel’s best friend, Wade.”

“Peter” They shook hands. Peter couldn't understand how someone so large could have an even larger personality. Soon enough he had Peter howling with laughter, worries about the place almost forgotten. Once Peter relaxed a little bit he managed to keep up with Wades jokes, and they found they had a lot in common.

“You haven’t seen Golden Girls! Tsk Tsk Tsk. You children and your lack of cable TV. You’ll just have to come over some time.” Peter couldn't tell if he was flirting or not, but he did mention earlier that he had a boyfriend.

“I’ll bring the pizza pockets.” Peter said happily. It would be nice to hang out with someone. Since MJ and Ned were both in university out of state he hasn't really seen anyone but Harry. He was trying to make friends with the people in his classes, but they mostly only talked about science and homework.

A Hand came down on his shoulder and caused him to jump. Wade stood up immediately, staring daggers at Harry.

“Wade, this is Harry. Harry, this is my new friend Wade.” Peter made a point not to say boyfriend, or love of his life like he always did.

“Nice to meet you.” Wade said carefully, definitely not in his usual bubbly nature. They shook hands. Weasel came back behind the bar.

“You better not have opened that bottle.” He said pointing his finger at Wade.

“Don't know what you're talking about.” Wade responded cheerfully, taking a sip out of the exact bottle Weasel was talking about.

“You fucking dick. You knew I was saving that.” Weasel moaned.

“Yeah well after that last job you fucking owe me.” He responded with that same sugary smile.

Peter didn't think to ask what he did for work but before he could start a response Harry had started talking.

“Well I think that’s enough for tonight. We will see you guys next time.” He put his arm around Peter and he got up from the stool he was on. Peter was almost sad the night was ending, he wanted Harry’s opinion on Wade’s theory about Grand Admiral Thrawn’s approach to empire building being superior to Palpatine's.

“It was really nice meeting you both.” Peter said with a smile. He looked at the bar to see how many drinks he’d had in the time they were gone. “What do I owe you?” He reached into his pocket.

“Don't worry about it, Bambi. Drinks are on me” Wade said and he felt Harry’s arm tighten around him.

“Thanks. I’ll make up for it next time.” Peter didn't understand the look on everyone’s face. But maybe that’s just because he was pleasantly tipsy.

The ride back to the apartment was very quiet. Peter didn't care. He enjoyed the swirling colors of the city lights and rested his forehead against the cool glass of the window.

____

Wade’s POV.

“Who the fuck was that?” Wade barked at Weasel.

“The idiot ruler of the Oscorp empire.” Weasel said quietly.

“Not him, Bambi, Peter, Boy scout extraordinaire.” Weasel rolled his eyes at Wade’s theatrics.

“His boyfriend. I think.” He could help but twist his face at Weasel's words.

“You think? Think. If he was mine I’d have it tattooed on his forehead. No one would think. They would fucking know that ass was mine.”

“Wade. Look at me.” He reluctantly made eye contact with the slimy man. “Do not chase that.”

The words went in one ear and directly out the other.

He’d never met anyone like him, he was some kind of wonderful. He was possibly the hottest little twink on the planet. Not to mention they had a ton in common. He was funny, but he laughed at Wade’s jokes, like he appreciated them.

Plus he sounded genuine when he said they should hang out.

Jokes on Weasel for thinking that the chase hadn't already begun.

__________________________

Peter’s POV.

He got back home with an insane craving for Chinese food. He kicked off his jeans by the front door, almost falling twice.

“Babe! What do you want from the Chinese Place?” He shouted not releasing Harry was standing in the kitchen.

“Nothing Peter.”

“What come on, we didn't even stay for food.” He laughed “ Not that I would have eaten anything out of that kitchen. Did they even have a kitchen” Harry didn’t seem to find it as amusing as he did.

“You didn't have any problem with the drinks.”

Peter let out a laugh.

“Sorry for trying to be normal. I thought we were going to an average bar to have a few drinks and make a friend. Not get abandoned at the scariest, dirtiest bar in New York.” He should be bothered but he was still too pumped to care. “Not like we ever manage to go to a party or hangout with the people in my class ever.”

“Look I have an image to protect Peter. You know that. You knew that when you decided to get involved with me okay.” He snapped.

“Yeah I know and I did it because I love you.” Peter said softly, hoping to end the fight. “Look, why don't we just get some take out and watch a movie like old times. I’ll even not drink for a bit to let you catch up.” Harry let out a sigh, rubbing his forehead the same way his father used to. He leaned against the counter for a moment before getting up and going into the bedroom shutting the door.

He probably just needed space. Maybe it was a really intense meeting. If he didn't come out in an hour or so he would go check on him.

As predicted he came out midway through Godzilla, pulling the corner of Peter’s blanket. Peter adjusted so they both could curl up under the quilt together.

“This blanket is actually really soft.” He said quietly and Peter took it as an apology.

___

Things settled down. It took a few days but he finally came around explaining that he really just felt bad for leaving Peter alone there. That he shouldn't have gotten jealous. All was forgiven.

Well for the regular amount of time. As his school work load got heavier, so did the demands of his internship. This only lead to more and more headaches with Harry.

Peter felt bad, but by the time he was home going out to dinner with other people sounded like torture. And of course staying in for a movie or dinner was lame to Harry.

So they just focused on what they were doing, tried to give each other a wide berth, knowing that they were both under extra pressure.

But this was also very lonely. Possibly the loneliest he’d ever felt.

Aunt May, Uncle Ben, and Gwen were gone.

He video called with Ned and MJ as much as possible, but they had both joined clubs and made friends.

It was almost dark when he stepped out of the office. Things were looking promising on his current project, and his mentor was very impressed with today’s break though. He texted Harry asking if he wanted to celebrate but he hadn't gotten a reply yet.

So instead he took the subway to Queens. He walked around feeling more like himself in ages. His stomach growled and he smiled when he decided on going to his favorite deli.

He quickly crossed the street, happy to be in the familiar neon glow. He’d been going here with Ben and May since he was little.

Suddenly a large slab of marble collided with his side. Peter jumped in the air before he recognised that it was Wade.

“Sorry man- Oh Bambi!” Wade gave him a big smile “ What brings you to my side of town?”

“All good. I grew up around here actually.” He was still shocked to see him here.

“Alright, can we settle for joint custody?” He laughed.

“Nope born and raised, I get full custody, but I'll bend every second weekend.”

“Damn, I guess I’ll just have to win your heart back. Plans for the night?” He asked, holding the door to the deli open for Peter.

“So far just getting a sandwich. You?”

“Well, it depends on if I can talk you into hanging out or not.” Wade responded easily. The owner greeted both him and Peter.

They joked around and answered questions about their lives, catching Mr. Delmar up while getting to know each other better. This was by far the nicest night he had in a long time.

They said goodnight and the bell jingled on the door as they stepped out into the night.

“So you wanna sit together?” Wade asked.

“Uh - Yeah, thanks. That would be really nice.” Peter felt uneasy about going to another man’s house. He didn't know Wade that well, and he should check with Harry, especially about how upset he got when they had met. Peter followed beside Wade as they walked along the street, he was enjoying the feeling of home while also figuring out a way to get out of going back to Wade’s apartment”

“You are legal right?” Wade asked suddenly. Peter almost choked on his own spit. “Relax pumpkin, not trying to put you and Mr. Fancypants on the rocks. Just want to know if you can come in with me.”

Peter looked behind him to see the glaring liquor store sign behind him.

“Yes, I'm legal.” Peter answered tiredly. He followed Wade into the store.

“And what do you like to drink?” He looked down at Peter. He was standing so close, it threw Peter off again.

“Coolers.” Peter whispered.

“What a baby.” Wade exclaimed as he picked up the pack Peter pointed to out of the fridge.

After refusing to let Peter pay, he decided he really should ask what Wade did for a living.

The cashier only ID’d Peter much to Wade’s amusement.

To his surprise, Wade didn't bring him back to his apartment. He hauled his bulky frame up a fire escape with grace. Peter awkwardly followed wondering how on earth he managed that with carrying all the food and booze.

Finally reaching the top he instantly fell in love. There was a strange garden patio on this roof. It was a complete mess, but at the same time it was absolutely perfect.

“Who lives here?” Peter whispered, touching the flowers.

“I do, some of the time.” Wade handed Peter a lawn chair. “My best friend Al lets me stay for chunks at a time.”

“I thought Weasel was your best friend?” Peter responded, getting his sandwich out.

“All my friends are best friends I guess.” He shrugged. Peter suddenly wanted to be one of these best friends more than anything.

The night passed easily. They watched the city, laughing, and surprisingly the conversation drifted to some more difficult things.

Wade opened up about losing his parents, briefly mentioned he was in the army leaving him with PTSD, and that he’d lost his girlfriend a few years ago. Which prompted him to talk about losing Gwen in high school to cancer, and Uncle Ben shortly after. Then finally Aunt May almost a year ago.

They had too much pain in common. It was the easiest thing in the world to talk to him.

“Guess we’ve both had a rough go of it eh?” Wade said, focused on the lights below. Peter’s heart strings pulled in his chest.

“Yeah, but we have each other now. So that’s a win.”

Wade gave him a big smile.

___

That was the start of many many hang outs. Wade spamed his phone 24/7 with memes and ideas, and he started calling when he would have episodes. Peter never minded calming him down, and Wade would always answer if Peter woke up from a nightmare.

He even joined a discord chat with Ned and MJ joining their gaming team for an evening, and was on time for every meet up after that. Occasionally he traveled, always bringing Peter back horribly tacky souvenirs.

Every time he had a panic attack Wade was there, with copious amounts of jokes and food. He even gave decent advice being older. He was a really good friend.

Peter had a big presentation at the university to promote the Bio Chemistry and Chemical Engineering programs. He was so nervous the night before that he was puking most of the night. But next morning in the front row Wade was there. Dressed up like a gym bro, going by the name Chad. He said he was trying to blend in, but deep down Peter knew he did it to make him smile. The presentation went well and he started to get closer with a few people in his class. Wade always harassed him via text to hang out with people after lectures and eventually he started giving in.

Occasionally he wondered if Wade was interested in him, but then again Wade was interested in everyone. Always flirting, with everyone, not just Peter….

Peter tried to include Harry in every hangout, letting him look through his phone whenever he wanted. He wanted Harry to trust him desperately. Ideally he hoped they could be a friend group like with MJ and Ned. Back when things were easier. But Harry was working hard and just didn't have the time. So Peter tried not to bother him about it anymore.

It felt like everything was a fight. Bringing his favorite cereal in the house was defined as an act of war. Everything had a place in Harry’s apartment, except for Peter apparently.

Harry just wanted him to eat better

Peter ran his hands through his messy hair. Harry was just trying to keep their future together, that’s why he was so cranky.

The guilt hit Peter like a massive wave. He could handle this, he gripped the edge of the countertop. Make it up to Harry. Do something nice.

They were supposed to go to dinner for a date night, but maybe Peter could surprise him with dinner instead. Only snag is that he didn't know how to cook.

So he called Wade. That man could cook anything, often making them dinner when they would hangout on the roof.

“You okay Bambi?” His voice sounded groggy.

“Shit did I wake you up?” Peter hated waking him up, he rarely slept.

“Nope. What happened?”

“Well. Harry is mad at me.” He heard Wade let out a sigh. Peter only ever occasionally talked about the problems they experienced. Most people would get the wrong idea about it, not understanding everything they went through together. “And I want to make him dinner to make up for it.”

“What did you do wrong?” Wade asked softly.

“It's complicated- ” Peter knew that if he said that it was because he brought home the wrong cereal Wade would be upset.

“Peter, it sounds like it’s always complicated. If you don't want to talk about it, that’s okay. Just promise you’ll tell me if things get bad okay?” Peter was phased by Wade's serious tone, suddenly all he could think about was telling Wade everything. Maybe he would know how to fix it? Or why nothing Peter ever did was right? Or he would get upset and he might tell Weasel or Harry then everyone would be upset. Not to mention they would be upset over nothing, because nothing was worrisome.

“I promise. But right now I need to cook something healthy but delicious.”

“Alright Bambi.”

The afternoon passed in a blur. Wade stayed on the phone while Peter ran to the shop to get the ingredients and walked him through everything, step by step. His tone was slightly off and Peter was aware that somewhere along the way he’d upset Wade.

“Are you upset with me?” Peter asked while dumping the prepped vegetables into the frying pan.

“Just a little worried that’s all.”

“Sorry for upsetting you.” Peter’s heart clenched. He was wasting Wade’s whole afternoon on this.

“Peter. Stop. I’m not upset. I just hope this guy knows you're worth it. Ya know.”

“I’m really not though. I’m messy, introverted, too loud, and I'm always busy but never with the right stuff, my clothes are wrong -” Peter’s mind was racing with the thousands of things wrong with him, heart hammering, tears starting to well up in his eyes.

“Peter, you are literally none of those things. But before you tell me it's because we’ve only been friends for 6 months, call MJ or Ned. They know you and Harry. Okay? Just promise me that you’ll mention to them you're having a hard time with this stuff.”

Peter took a few deep breaths. It wasn't an awful idea, and maybe he’s right, maybe they would have an idea on how to fix things.

“I promise I’ll talk to them this week. Thanks Wade.” Finally he started to calm down.

“No problem Bambi, so how are the vegetables looking?”

“FUCK. OH NO NONONONONONO” The vegetables were smoking. He turned the burner off and moved them onto another burner. Poking through them with a wooden spoon he could see that there wasn't any way to salvage them. He realized Wade was still on the phone.

“So I burnt the veggies.” Peter put the phone on speaker phone, placing it on the marble counter top.

“It's okay. The stuff in the oven is good right?”

“Yeah,” Peter sniffled. God it was pathetic he was tearing up but he was just trying so hard to make this work. Now Harry was just going to be angry with him for fuckng this up too.

“Don’t cry, Bambi.” Wade said softly. “You said his fridge was filled with salad stuff right. We can just make a salad.”

“Okay, yeah Chicken and Salad. That's normal. It will be good.” Peter wiped his face with his sleeve.

“What the fuck happened.” Harry said calmly from the edge of the kitchen.

“Erm - well I thought I would try to make us dinner, and well - I kind of murdered the vegetables - but then I remembered we had salad stuff so I’m just going to make a salad.” Peter straightened up, hoping to god that Harry couldn't tell that he’d been crying.

“Peter. I said we were going out to dinner.” He snapped and pinched the bridge of his nose. “ I got you a suit to wear and everything. Why did you bother with all this!”

“Well it was date night and I wanted to make you something special.” His throat got tight and Peter was wondering how much more he could take.

“You can’t fucking cook.”

“Wade walked me through it. – we”

“No! No more we. No more Wade. No more of this Peter. I tell you what we are doing and every time you try to mess it up or do something else. How selfish can you be?”

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to make everything up to you.” Peter said quietly. Harry took a few deep breaths and there was a very tense electricity in the air. But he turned it around like he always did.

“Look, I’m sorry for yelling. This is-” He smirked. “Not what I expected. Just caught me off guard.” Harry pulled him into a hug. “I guess I just have big news and wanted to surprise you somewhere nice.”

“Do you think we could just stay in?” Peter said softly, his whole body tensed up waiting for the usual response.

“Sure. You said you have a roast or something in there.”

“Yep.” He nodded.

“I'm gonna shower then we can sort this whole thing out okay?”

“Okay.” Peter responded. He waited till he heard the shower start before he moved again. He let out a deep shaky breath, before realizing Wade was still on the phone.

“Fuck, Wade?” He whispered.

“You gotta get out of there baby. Peter listen to me, I’ve been there before okay. You need to get out of there. Just let me pick you up, we can talk over everything, you can make me understand.” His voice was that same serious tone as earlier and it made Peter start to shake.

“Look, I'll think about it.” He whispered then hung up. Wade started texting him so he turned his phone off just in case.

He got the salad, well what he thought was a salad together then threw it into a pot big enough to hold it. He swore they had mixing bowls or serving bowls he just didn't know where.

He set the table that they never ate at.

They sat down and tried the chicken. Peter thought it was perfect, but Harry found it too dry. After a few glasses of wine they talked about the big news. For a moment Peter thought he might propose.

Apparently after some persuasion from his father’s old business advisers he decided to keep all the side ventures. Pouring more money into the military contracts.

They were determined to keep pushing the chemical warfare programs, selling it off all over the world under the table. All of this was illegal. They needed the labs, only a portion of what they worked on would be legal, everything else was just nightmarish.

Peter felt his heart break further than it already had. Years of pushing the company out this direction for him to do a 180.

“The reason I decided to do this was because the pay out can be used towards different charities and things you're interested in. Millions of dollars Pete, you decide where it goes.” Harry had that look on his face when he lied. This was just to sway Peter into thinking this was right. A loads of people will die, wars started, endless heart break, but Peter Parker ensured that the library in Queens got more funding.

“Is the paperwork signed?” He asked coldly.

“Tomorrow morning. Look I know this isn't what we had hoped for, but I’ll make sure that some good comes out of it. I’m just out of options.” There was a flash of the old harry in his eyes. That scared little boy.

“I’m going out for the night. You sign those papers in the morning, and I’m moving out.” Peter got up before he had a chance to react. He moved into the bedroom and locked the door. He threw his most important things into his old backpack.

When he came back he threw all the stuff on his desk into a rubber tote. Harry sat there staring at the table.

“I’m not going to let you leave.” Harry said. “Who are you going to run to? Wade? Fuck Pete do you even know what he does for a living? He kills people. He’s a mercenary Peter. And you look at me like I’m a monster.” The words were a blow to the stomach, it would explain a lot of things, but he knew better than to trust anything he said when he was like this.

They fought, despite how hard he wanted to just slip out of there. Harry fought him hard too, but eventually that burning temper got the most of him and a firm hit landed on Peter’s face. Harry fell apart and Peter picked up his tote and walked out. The air was cold on his wet face. Not knowing what else to do he called Wade.

“Bambi!”

“Wade. Listen, I need you to call Weasel. Remember that lawyer we hung out with one time, Matt? I need you to tell them to shut down the up and coming Oscorp trade agreement. Everything about it is illegal, make it public, do whatever it takes.”

“Okay I will. Are you okay? What happened?!”

“Are you a mercenary?”

“Look, I wanted to talk to you about that. Technically I’m recently retired.” Peter hung up the phone and threw up into some bushes. The panic started to set in, he didn't even realize he was in Queens till he was there. He called Ned and briefly explained that Harry’s place isn't safe for him and wondered if his Lola would take him in for the night, if not he would call MJ’s mom. He said it was fine and would call him back when he got it set up.

Walking towards Ned’s Lola’s house. He stood on a street corner when he saw a small dog run into the street. He put down the tote, trying to call the dog over.

Suddenly an old Lady ran out after the little dog. Traffic didn't look like it was going to stop, so Peter quickly ran out moving the old Lady out of the way.

A truck wiped past them and he let out a breath as his hair was blown around. Cars stopped and he let her go. She took a few steps forward when suddenly everything went black.

____________________________________________________________

Wade was in complete panic mode. Not only were things way way worse for Peter than he thought, he’d now lost him forever.

Fucking Mr. Fancypants. He pulled his hair.

He’d done everything that Peter had asked and now there was just Radio silence. What ever that stupid kid lined up was now all over the news thanks to a few phone calls.

God he sounded so broken on the fucking phone.

He should have told him about what he did. FUCK. Dopinder called.

“Mr. Wilson. I was driving in Queens earlier. And I saw Mr. Bambi get hit by a bus-” Wade’s whole body started to feel like shattering glass. HIT BY A FUCKING BUS. FOR FUCKS SAKE.

“Where did they take him?!” Wade demanded.

“I followed the ambulance to Queens hospital center.”

Wade hung up the phone and cringed; he hated that place. That’s where good people went to die. Where she went to die.

He was out the door in record time and into the ER. He looked around for someone to tell him where Peter was. That’s when his eyes landed on Mr. Fancy pants.

“The fuck are you doing here?” Wade asked anger surging through him. His knuckles were busted up, if he found out that it was Peter on the receiving end of that blow Harry would be a dead man.

“I’m his partner okay, He’s mine not yours. He’s always been mine.” Wade resisted the urge to hit him. He was clearly drunk and getting thrown out would not help Peter.

“What’s his status?”

“They think he’s going to be okay.” Harry said, he almost looked hopeful. Like he could have Peter back to do whatever horrible bullshit he did to Peter regularly.

He couldn't get thrown out, but he could get Harry thrown out. He texted Weasel his location and not a few minutes later the popo showed up and dragged him off in handcuffs.

A drunk idiot just like his father. Not that Wade was any better.

Wade went to work calling everyone Pete was close with. Made sure his classmate told his teachers that Peter couldn't attend class and would provide doctors notes.

MJ said she would come home for as long as she could to help.

Then finally he caught Ned on the phone who was freaking out trying to find Peter. Ned filled him in on the Harry situation. So that bastard did hit him. Too bad Wade had lots of friends in prison who would kill someone for as little as a cigarette.

Then it was a waiting game. A game he knew too well. His mind replaying the jagged memories of Vanessa getting shot. His heart twisting knowing he fucked up again.

If he would have set things right with Peter right away he could have come and picked him up. Taken him home, held him close.

Fuck.

______

After a day of refusing to leave, they eventually let him through to see Peter. He looked, well, like he’d been hit by a bus. But it wasn't too bad, like the bus wasn't going full speed, or Peter happened to be wrapped in lots of bubble wrap at the time.

He looked at Wade with those big brown eyes that made his heart melt.

“Hey baby boy.” Wade said softly. His face turned bright red, and he looked… confused. Very confused.

“I’m sorry. I just, I don’t know you?” He looked over to the nurse.

“Look kid. I have no idea. He’s not on your paperwork. But he’s been here all night waiting for you.” The nurse swayed out of the room.

Peter looked back at Wade taking him in differently. Like he was trying really hard to tell who he was. The urge to lie to him was so strong, tell him that he was his boyfriend. That he’d dumped Harry and was planning on staying with Wade forever. They were going to get married, adopt dogs, and be together forever.

But those brown eyes had seen too much. Wade’s mind was flooded with the way his face would fall when he talked about Gwen or his Aunt and Uncle. No, despite how much he wanted Peter, he needed to do this properly.

“We’re best friends.” Wade said with a lump in his throat.

“Oh, um do I have parents or anything? Is it okay that you're here to help me? I don't want to bother you.”

Wade tried not to cry, he looked out the window for a moment. This was going to be a very rocky road.

____________

Wade came to the hospital everyday, stayed till they threw him out. After around two weeks they agreed to let Wade take him home.

He got his apartment cleaned out and ready for him. Dophinder grabbed the tote he’d left at the intersection. Wade placed all that stuff into the spare bedroom he had.

He wasn't sure how Peter would react to his place. It was a penthouse apartment but it was ancient, nothing like Harry’s place that he would see when they would video call. But then again it's not like he would know any better.

“Wow, cool apartment.” Peter said, looking around. It was sunny so the place was lit up nicely.

“Thanks.” Wade said.

“So you need a better outfit eh?” Peter looked down at the too big sweatpants and huge hoody Wade had brought for him to change into.

“Preferably yeah.”

Because he was feeling better Wade took him shopping. Showering him in gifts and clothes was easy and a welcome bit of happiness. It had been almost two weeks since the incident and Peter still had no idea who he was.

They came home and he and Peter spent the evening on the bedroom floor building the new furniture. Well, Peter sat in an old bean bag supervising while Wade drank and swore at the various bits. He almost had to call Al to come over to help, but he pulled it together once he could find the missing packet of screws under the bean bag.

Peter’s laugh was still the best thing he had ever heard.

Wade had explained what he knew about his parents and Aunt and Uncle right away. But there were still a lot of other things to discuss. A few days had passed and he was settling into a nice routine here. He only lost memories about himself, his abilities to do his studies were not impacted.

One night Wade sat watching TV well into the early hours of the morning when Peter came out wrapped in his blanket, it was a worn quilt that was from his tote. He sat down next to Wade on the couch.

“Wade.” Peter said softly.

“Yeah Bambi?”

“Were we fighting when I got hit by the bus?”

“Yep” Wade answered reluctantly.

“I had a nightmare about it.”

“Okay we are going to have this conversation now. But first I’m gonna send you some money okay.”

“What why? No I don't need your money Wade?” His eyes were so scared Wade suddenly thought jumping out the window would be less painful than this. He sent the money to Peter’s account then put his phone away.

“Okay. Here’s the thing. MJ and Ned will be here in a few days. Now when you walk out of here there is a decent hotel three blocks down. Take the money and when they show up they’ll look after you okay?” Wade was starting to sweat.

“Did you cheat on me?” Peter gasped.

“Babe we weren’t in a relationship.” Wade smiled.

“Right. Sorry, you just know me so well I - forgot - well not like -”

Wade cut him off and started to explain how they met. Everything with Harry was plastered across the news, so they’d covered that part of the story. But this was meat and potatoes. Peter’s face twisted up when Wade explained the jump between here and the military. He killed people. LOTS OF PEOPLE.

They were really bad people though, that must make it a little bit right? Right?

Peter just shook his head.

“You're lying.” He whispered, tears welling up in his eyes.

“No Baby, but I really wish I was.” Wade got up slowly because Peter was a jumpy little bug. Walked over to a trunk in the corner of the room.

“It’s all in here if you want to go through it?” Wade gripped it knuckles white, just wishing that Peter would leave and break him already. But Peter just didn't give up on people like that. Memory or not he was still just Peter.

Wade went for a walk, letting him digest the situation. He walked to the bridge and looked over the edge for a long time. He could jump now. Not have to do this again. Why would he potentially send Peter in right behind Vanessa.

His phone rang and was relieved to see it was his home phone.

“Wade?”

“Hey”

“Can you come home now?”

“Of course.” Peter hug up and Wade started on the walk back to his house. He thought about picking up some of Peter’s favorite food, but he knew that it would take a lot more than some spring rolls to fix this.

Peter was just good, all of him was good. He didn't have a mean or twisted bone in his body. Wade had his reasons but he was everything that Peter stood against. They were entirely incompatible.

And yet he opened the door to see him sitting with all of the bits of Wade’s life scattered upon the floor. Wade sat down on the floor across from him.

“You had a lot of contracts huh?” Peter said awkwardly.

“Yeah.” Wade nodded.

“Why did you do it?”

“After the army it was all I was good at.” Wade’s body got tight again, hands started to shake, he really really didn't want to do this.

“But you retired.”

“Yeah, I met this really great guy and I wanted to be something to him.” Wade watched Peter think about what he said. His face was unreadable for once.

“Did it work?”

“You tell me?” Wade said without thinking. He watched as Peter connected the dots between the words he couldn't take back.

“Hold on, the whole time we were friends, you were in love with me?” He said in disbelief.

“Who said anything about being in love?” Wade joked but Peter flung himself across the papers. Wade caught his slender frame easily. Unsure of how to hold him with all his bruising. Peter's arms folded around his neck, Wade sat there for a few moments in a daze before realizing he was crying.

“Woah, it’s alright. I love you. It’s okay, don't cry.”

“I can't stop.” He said in between sniffles. Wade stood up easily carrying Peter into his room and placing him on the bed. “Don't leave!” Peter snapped.

“I won’t” Wade climbed in after him, adjusting so he could hold him tight.

“God, my boyfriend, who was my childhood best friend, was abusive. Everyone in my family is dead, my first girlfriend is dead. And I fell in love with an ex-mercenary. Fuck me”

“I would but you're having an emotional breakthrough.” Wade responded, earning him a little chuckle from Peter.

“Promise me you're done with that life?” Wade looked into his red eyes.

“I promise. No more killing.” They had a tender moment, gripping each other tightly. Knowing that they had each other finally. Eventually Peter’s breaths evened out and Wade assumed he’d fallen asleep.

“I’m surprised you're not in jail.” He whispered.

“You’d be surprised the kind of money the government paid to get-”

“Wade! You worked with the law?” Peter whisper yelled.

“Sometimes yeah.”

“Why?”

“Peter, I just wanted to make things right. Sometimes that involves difficult choices. Ones that I'm only good at making.” He shrugged.

“Sorry for crying so much.”

“Oh honey, this is nothing. I was out for three weeks when Betty White died” Peter nuzzled his face into Wade’s neck.

There were so many feelings here. So many more that he remembered being possible.

That was just the start, that night things started to come back to Peter in chunks. He could remember his childhood, then everyone dying.

He was twisted up desperately missing Harry, till the rest hit him full force. All the wrong turns they had taken in their relationship. Harry forcing him to move into a nicer apartment out of Queens, the constant avoidance of dealing with their problems, Peter always thinking everything was his fault. Never being able to pick anything for himself, always being paraded around when Harry knew he hated it.

All of it went bad at some point. And Peter was desperately trying to find a memory or a situation that made it all his fault.

Thankfully MJ and Ned had flown in and reassured him that it wasn't his fault. Both of them hadn't been close with Harry in a very long time, but they had no idea things had gotten that bad.

MJ broke into Harry’s apartment and collected the rest of Peter’s things so he didn't have to go back there.

Wade didn't think it was possible but once Peter got his memory back he was even more in love with Wade. All the inside jokes and memes were back. Everything was perfect.

Which brought them to roof top chow down on Wade’s building.

Peter moved off of his chair to sit between Wade’s legs. He was probably the most affectionate person Wade had ever met. Not having been held in ages they were both probably starved for it.

He settled into Wade’s chest, and they looked at the sun set.

“So I was thinking.” Peter started. “Would you mind if I stayed here? I can pay half the rent, or like if that’s too soon I can also get a place close by in the next month or so.”

“You were going to leave?” Wade said in disbelief, taking his sunglasses off.

“Well I didn't want to assume.”

“No no, after everything you're mine.” Wade stated possessively. Peter leaned up and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. Fireworks would be an understatement. Wade’s hand’s came up to cradle Peter’s face pulling him further into the kiss. Peter let out a moan and Wade’s heart stopped. It shouldn’t be possible for someone to be this wonderful. They broke the kiss, and Wade looked down into Peter’s flushed face, his eyes blown out still focused on Wade's lips.

“Fuck” He said in a breathy tone.

“You want to take this to the bedroom.”

“Please. Yes. Please” Peter said, nodding enthusiastically.

Wade carried him downstairs despite his protests. Threw him on the bed.

After that it was a glorious mess. They spent the rest of the day in bed, Wade determined to pull every from Peter, Wade wanted every dirty thought, every secret.

Wade wanted him forever.

[starrykitty013]

Sneak Peak!! This will be a Cake Walk (oneshot)

Here’s the full fic...finally: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33658105

This takes place in my JGLEH universe (https://archiveofourown.org/series/1415002) but this oneshot could be read as a standalone :)

Enjoy!

August 7th, 2019.

That was the date that this year’s birthday fell on. Technically it was the first wednesday of August, since this month started on a Thursday, but it was basically the second week of August, so they’d let it slide. Besides the 14th of August seemed like a good date, but Ned and MJ were just so anxious to finally be spending a birthday with their best friend, because it had been 2 years since they last had - well more Ned than MJ, MJ was cool with anything.

So here they were, lounging around Peter’s - and his parent’s - little apartment/penthouse/whatever-this-place-they-were-living-was-classfied-as in Stark tower, eating junk food and marathoning Voltron - every variation of it, eating a slightly melted ice cream cake MJ bough - they bought an entire sheet cake this time, instead of a small one because Ned and MJ got paychecks now and Peter has the metabolism not to waste it.

Different location, same traditions. Sure the atmosphere of the tower was not as cozy as Ned’s cramped living room or MJ’s box apartment, but they made do. They dulled the settings on the floor to ceiling window that took up an entire wall and viewed over the city. They cuddled in blankets and made an entire pillow fort, and they made it surround them so they were forced to be closer together.

They would’ve invited everyone else in the tower, but his official birthday wasn’t until the 12th and Peter’s sure they had something planned. He kind of just wanted to keep this serenity of the three of them, even if he felt a little guilty about being exclusive. It was worth it.

It felt right.

Keeping his old traditions while preparing for the new ones that he was bound to make this year.

He hadn’t celebrated his birthday with the Avengers last year, because it was the date of the trial and he hadn’t been living with them at the time, even if like a week later he was. Everything had been so hectic and moving too fast that his birthday had barley been on any of their minds. He had spent the night with Wade and Matt goofing off in and out of their costumes though - the aults getting thoroughly plastered and Peter thinks it was only 60% for his amusement.

It was an enjoyable night. Or at least it it was shaping up to be. He liked the chill vibes that they had managed to create. It was almost like they were hanging out just like any other day, and not celebrating Peter being one year away from being a legal adult - in America at least.

His parents had walked in around 11:30ish, and they just were about to pass without looking twice at the kids lounged around and the mess of stolen blankets and pillows they probably didn’t know they owned - and they didn’t own most of them, again they were temporarily stolen, he’d give them to their respective owners again...eventually...maybe.

Ned had greeted them absently, because he was polit like that, and Nat smirked fondly at them, watching them out of the corner of her eye, while Bucky turned and nodded in acknowledgment, lips quirking up for a second at the scene. MJ gave a salute as she had a chip half in her mouth.

“Russian → ”(Hey, guys.) Peter said absently, not really looking at them as he leaned forward to grab another slice of melted cake. And that’s when Natasha paused for a second, looking frozen. Bucky had just barley managed to ram into her. It was a slight action but it made Peter pause and look up in confusion and slight alarm. His spidey sense wasn’t going off, but Nat had that look on her face where she kept it carefully neutral to not give anything away. Peter turned his head to them and sat up a bit, Ned and MJ seemed to pick up on his vibes because a moment later MJ had shifted into a slightly more alert slouch and that was followed by Ned swiveling his head to look confusedly between everyone while trying - and failing, but it’s okay Ned you are still a precious bean child that will be protected by everyone here - to be subtle about it, his anxiety kicking in a bit. “What’s up?” he said trying to maintain a casual tone. If it was an emergency, he’d know, they would’ve been more on edge. It was more likely that they had gotten taken off guard by something - which was only barley more comforting, since they usually were never taken off guard by much.

Bucky had trained his eyes on Nat, so Peter did the same. She darted her eyes quickly to something next to him and then back to Peter, Bucky followed her gaze and kept it locked on the thing she was looking at. Peter slowly moved his head to where Bucky’s eyes were trained and looked down to see the mostly melted cake, with the watery, sloppy lettering that was supposed to spell out “Congrats on not dying spider dweeb” and then a messily drawn spiderman logo, but they had eaten the cake in a way that it said “C---ats o- ying- ider dw-b” and part of the logo was cut outso it was only the lens’ of the mask showing. Peter then moved his eyes back up to Natasha, still confused over why she was so still about it.

“I thought you're birthday was the... 12th.” Her tone was still carefully neutral, but Peter could detect some tension that his friends probably didn’t pick up on. Bucky definitely did though. It almost seemed like it was hard for her to get that out, for some reason.

Peter cocked his head. “Well yeah officially.” he said. Something seemed to click for Bucky and he looked to Peter and his friends again.

“It’s the 7th.” Bucky said, in a much more genuine neutral tone.

“Yeah, it is.” MJ said sarcastically, but she seemed to tone her usual snark down a bit. Peter was inexplicably grateful for that, for some reason.

“We celebrate it on the second Wednesday of August though.” Ned explained. He had told them the story of how he officially got his birthday with Wade and the army camps earlier that day, because Ned had asked if there was a story he was previously unable to tell them. He had told them the whole truth and they accepted it without any preamble. At this point they had heard so many messed up stories about his childhood that the initial shock and horror reaction had dialed down. At first - when he first started telling them about his past that he had to keep a secret, even without all the spidey stuff like the White room and Special Forces - Ned had been in tears nearly every time and MJ would close off almost to the point of dissociation. But after nearly a year the most reaction he’d get was MJ’s concerned eyeroll and Ned’s shift so they bumped shoulders or they were closer. Still, the birthday story did get a hug out of Ned and MJ to shift a tad closer.

Bucky’s eyes flicked to Natasha and his shoulders slumped like he was holding in a sigh “Why?” Bucky asked after a beat of silence, maintaining the same casual light tone.

“Some stupid thing Wade made up.” Peter shrugged and fought the urge to look away. Why did he feel so weird about this? “Something about sticking it to the man, or society or the government or whatever.” he said looking down at his cake and putting a small bite in his mouth that he could talk around. “We did it every year and then we did it with Ned and MJ and it just stuck. It’s not a big deal, we just chill.” he mumbled more than said. There was a long pull of silence between them, with only the sounds of Allura explaining some complicated space matter to the team of palidins on the screen.

When Peter finally had the urge to look up he found himself looking at the tail end of his mother going into her bedroom and quietly shutting the door. He looked at the door for a moment then at Bucky who was doing the same, but he sighed and shot him and his friends one last supposedly reassuring smile, as if to say ‘as you were’ - it did not have it’s desired effect- and then follow after his partner, opening and shutting the door softly.

That was weird.

Peter just looked at the door for a few moments, not really sure how to feel about that. He felt his friends’ gazes on his back, and it almost felt like they had no clue what to do with that strange interaction either. It hadn’t left bad vibes, but it hadn’t really left any good ones either.

He turned back to the movie, MJ and Ned seemingly following his lead and going back to marathoning. But instead of listening to Keith and Lance’s 143th argument of the show, he was listening to the quiet murmurs coming from the room. Loud enough that Peter could pick up on the sound with his enhanced hearing but too soft to actually make any words out.

Eventually, after about 10 minutes of not knowing what was up and the feeling something was off still lingering in his mind, he stood up and made his way to the door. HIs confused friends’ gazes followed him up and to where he was walking.

“Be right back.” he said absently before entering the room and closing the door just a quietly as his parents’.

[introvertguide]

Saving Private Ryan (1998); AFI #71

The next film on the list is one of the best films of any genre, Saving Private Ryan (1998). This is what I consider the best war film of all time despite how overwhelming it is to watch. Maybe it is because it is so difficult to watch, since the movie was nominated for 11 Academy Awards and received five trophies. Because of the ensemble cast and almost complete lack of women, the film was never going to garner much in the way of acting awards. Like the soldiers who they hoped to portray, these actors shouldn’t have expected much individual recognition. This movie affected me greatly, and I would like to delve into that after going through the story line.

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!!! BECAUSE OF THE NATURE OF THE FILM, EVERYTHING THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE REVEALED AS FAR AS PLOT IS GIVEN AWAY BELOW!!! 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the present day, an elderly man visits the Normandy Cemetery with his family. At a tombstone, he falls to his knees in anguish. The establishing shots showing the mass of grave stones is overwhelming from the get-go. The movie transitions from the graveyard to a landing boat at the battle of Normandy. Be prepared because it is about to get rough.

On the morning of June 6, 1944, American soldiers land at Omaha Beach as part of the Normandy invasion. Everything goes bad immediately as machine guns and mortars literally tear the landing soldiers to shreds. Soldiers are screaming for their mothers as they die on the beach. There is no going back into the ocean so the soldiers have run into the machine gun fire. Captain John H. Miller (Tom Hanks) of the 2nd Ranger Battalion leads a breakout from the beach that makes it through to the German encampment. It is about 15 minutes of carnage and nobody will blame you if you want to forward through this until the action cools down. Elsewhere on the beach, a dead soldier lies face-down in the bloody surf; his pack is stenciled Ryan, S. It is at this point I would recommend taking a breather if you need one.

Continuing on, we are shifted to Washington, D.C., at the War Department (keep an eye out for Bryan Cranston with one arm), where General George C. Marshall learns that three of the four sons of the Ryan family were killed in action within a short time of one another. Daniel Ryan in New Guinea shortly before D-Day, Sean Ryan at Omaha Beach, and Peter Ryan at Utah Beach: all dead with letters arriving the same day for their mother. The fourth son, James Francis Ryan, is with the 101st Airborne Division somewhere in Normandy. After reading Abraham Lincoln's Bixby letter, which is meant to comfort grieving parents, aloud, Marshall orders Ryan found and brought home.

Three days after D-Day, Miller receives orders to find Ryan and bring him back. He chooses seven men from his company for the job—T/Sgt. Mike Horvath (Tom Sizemore), Privates First Class Richard Reiben (Edward Burns) and Adrian Caparzo (Vin Diesel), Privates Stanley Mellish (Adam Goldberg) and Daniel Jackson (Barry Pepper), T/4 medic Irwin Wade (Giovanni Ribisi) and T/5 Timothy Upham (Jeremy Davies), an interpreter from the 29th Infantry Division. The group moves out to Neuville where they meet a squad of the 101st engaged against the enemy and both Ted Danson and Paul Giamatti show up. THe group searching for Ryan bump into a stranded French family who try to give over their children but a German sniper breaks up the party. Caparzo is killed by a German sniper, who is then killed by Jackson (who makes the most amazing shot that legends are made of). They locate a Private James Ryan (Nathan Fillion), only to learn that he is James Frederick Ryan. On the point of giving up, the Captain starts asking random passing soldiers and learns that Ryan is defending an important bridge in Ramelle.

Near Ramelle, Miller decides to neutralize a German machine gun position at a derelict radar station, despite his men's misgivings. It does not go well and the medic, Wade, is killed in the process. They take a German soldier that they name Steamboat Willie (Joerg Stadler) who gives up willingly and pleads for his life. The men are angry and want to kill the soldier since they can’t take any extras, so, at Upham's urging, Miller frees the surviving German soldier. Losing confidence in Miller's leadership, Reiben declares his intention to desert, prompting a confrontation with Horvath, who threatens to shoot him. Miller defuses the standoff by disclosing his civilian career as a high school English teacher in a small Pennsylvania town.

At Ramelle, they find Ryan (Matt Damon) among a small group of paratroopers preparing to defend the key bridge against an imminent German attack. Miller tells Ryan that his brothers are dead, and that he was ordered to bring him home. Ryan is distressed about his brothers, but is unwilling to leave his post. Miller combines his unit with the paratroopers in defense of the bridge. He devises a plan to ambush the enemy with two .30-caliber machine guns, Molotov cocktails, anti-tank mines, and improvised satchel charges made from socks. It is basically suicide so the bridge is wired to explode in case it can’t be held. 

Now is a time to take a breather if you need one because it is about to get bad again. Elements of the 2nd SS Panzer Division arrive with two Tiger tanks and two Marder tank destroyers, all protected by infantry. The small American group holds off the force the best they can, Although they inflict heavy damage on the Germans, nearly all of the paratroopers, along with Jackson, Mellish and Horvath, are killed. It turns out that Steamboat Willie joined the group and he personally kills Mellish with a Nazi youth knife (it is horrible) and shoots Miller Captain Miller as he attempts to blow up the bridge. Miller crawls to retrieve the bridge detonator, and fires ineffectually but defiantly with his pistol at an oncoming tank. As the tank reaches the bridge, an American P-51 Mustang flies overhead and destroys the tank, after which American armored units arrive to rout the remaining Germans. With the Germans in full retreat, Upham emerges from hiding and shoots Steamboat Willie dead, having witnessed him shooting Miller, but allows his fellow soldiers to flee.

Miller tells Ryan to “earn this” before dying from his injuries. As the scene transitions to the present, Ryan is revealed to be the veteran from the beginning of the film, and is standing in front of Miller's grave expressing his gratitude for the sacrifices Miller and his unit made in the past. Ryan asks his wife if he was worthy of such sacrifice, to which she replies that he is. The final scene shows Ryan saluting Miller's grave and fades to the American flag gently waving in the breeze.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really have a hard time getting through this film without pausing and taking a breather. I saw the film in the theater when I was 18, so my friends and I were all around the age that these soldiers would have been that rushed that beach and retook France. It was truly terrifying. Now I am old and have back issues, so I wouldn’t be put on a front line, but the kids that I work with and care for would be the exact age to be caught in a draft and that scares me even more. The creative ways in which man finds to kill one another is the greatest threat to humanity. 

The first two times I saw the film, I did not realize that it was the same German soldier that the group had captured who eventually killed many of the group we were following. It really changes the message in the end. I had thought that Captain Miller had showed his humanity showing mercy, but it turns out that this mercy is misplaced. Now it seems like Spielberg is saying that neither humanity, nor religion, nor innocence, nor skill, nor even intelligence can save a man in the heat of battle. The only way to live is to watch the back of your group and protect each other like family.

There was a little bit of a travesty that occurred at the Academy in early 1999, because this film lost out in the Best Picture category to Shakespeare in Love. This is the same year that also saw Saving Private Ryan, The Truman Show, Life is Beautiful, Elizabeth, and The Thin Red Line. There had to be something behind that because I wouldn’t consider the winner even in the top 5. Shakespeare in Love is considered one of the worst Best Picture winners along with Crash and The Artist. Oscars are not everything and this movie is one of the best examples of this.

When I say that some of the scenes from this movie are difficult, I really do mean it. There was a hotline set up for people who have PTSD that was triggered by the film. One of the actual members of the 101st Airborne, Major Richard Winters, was consulted about the occurrences surrounding the attack. He said that it brought up many memories that he had worked hard to suppress because he had been taught that war veterans couldn’t express the psychological pain of battle. He also said that it was an important film that revealed what war was really like.

On Veteran’s Day in 2001 and 2004, ABC aired the film uncut with limited commercial interruptions. Living in California, I was able to watch the film on both of those occasions and remember getting my girlfriend at the time to watch in 2004. The film has become like a memorial to Americans lost in the European Campaign during WW2, so I treat viewing as a badge of honor and understanding, no matter how difficult it is to watch.

This film is a pretty easy answer when it comes to the standard questions for the most part. Does this film belong on the AFI top 100? Of course. It is the new benchmark for which all American war films will be judged. It is historically accurate, it is beautifully shot and directed, and it leaves a lasting impression far longer than just about any movie I have seen. Would I recommend it? This one has an age warning. It is not appropriate for young children because the first and last battle scenes are nightmare fuel. Even worse, they are apparently very realistic. It is hard to recommend something that is so scarring, but it will keep people for glorifying battle. It is horrific and should be avoided as much as possible. And that is a lesson that I believe this movie teaches better than any other. So please give this movie a watch and feel free to take a break if you need it.

[fantasticstoryteller]

New Amsterdam Chapter 31

Wade landed beside what looked to be a clear pink dome with two small blue eyes on one side that tracked him. “Freaky,” he said.

“Ponyo?”

[It talks!]

{Should we kill it? Can we kill it?}

“And what do you want with Spiderman?” demanded a voice Wade vaguely recognized. He turned to see the archer dude from the Avengers on the ground, bow out, arrow loaded and pointed towards—Wade blinked.

[Is that costume as ridiculous as I think it is?]

{Is—is that a hover-jet? Why don’t we have one? I want one!}

[For what?]

{We could take Sweetie Petey on a carpet ride!}

[You’re hopeless.]

“Hey Green and Gold,” said Deadpool with a wave. “You a Packers fan?”

The grotesquely formed face turned and looked at him. “You,” breathed the man.

{Do we know him?}

[Well, he obviously knows us.]

“Deadpool,” said a grim voice, “what are you doing here?”

“Gasp! It’s the other spider-babe!” Deadpool sidled over to her and didn’t even flinch when a small dagger pierced the side closest to her. “I’ve been asked to protect the city.”

The archer shot him an incredulous look, not even wavering his arrow from the target in the air. “By who?” he demanded.

Wade flung his chest out, propped his hands on his hips, and proclaimed, “Spiderman!”

He was interrupted by laughter. Honest, joyful laughter that wasn’t aimed at him.

[We have a lot of experience with laughter aimed at us.]

There, not two meters away, was a girl. She was holding her sides and laughing. “Oh, my, God!” she gasped. “Your faces!” Another glance at the archer and Black Widow and she burst into fresh peals of laughter.

{Someone’s happy.}

[There’s something about her that seems familiar.]

“Stop ignoring me!” snarled the person on the hover-jet petulantly. He threw something that looked like a small pumpkin at the laughing girl.

A wing came up, showing that they weren’t ornamental, blocked the pumpkin—

Only for it to explode in a burst of feathers, flesh and blood. She flipped the wing behind her—

[Anyone else notice that wing is whole now?]

—and turned a glare at the green guy. “Rude much?” she demanded pertly.

“What are you child?” asked the guy as he flew around the girl in circles.

She snorted. “None of your business. And you wouldn't know me anyway,” the girl replied. “I’m not from here.”

Wade stared at the girl. Accent placed her in upper East Side New Amsterdam. How could she say she wasn’t from there?

[There’s something strange here.]

{You say that all the time.}

“And why is everyone looking for Spiderman anyway? Wasn’t he just swinging about on the streets a couple nights ago?” The girl seemed—puzzled. Like she didn’t know.

{Maybe she doesn’t. Maybe she’s really not from around here.}

The green guy laughed and the tinny laughter echoed oddly. “Spiderman,” he said, “doesn’t take breaks or days off.”

“Then he’s long overdue.” The girl looked around at the stunned faces and snorted. “Seriously—even if the guy enjoys being Spiderman—”

{Of course he does!}

“—he needs to take a break and think about something else for a while. Everyone needs a break from everything, no matter how much they love that thing. Mental health 101, people.” She looked around with wide amber eyes, sighed, and stretched out a hand towards the pink dome. “Dora,” she called affectionately.

“Ponyo!” The blue eyes closed, the pink retracted into a small blob that settled on the palm of the girl’s hand, and revealed a very familiar looking blind lawyer.

[Not that there are that many blind lawyers in New Amsterdam.]

“Later,” the girl said with a wave before taking off into the sky.

{She can FLY!}

[What did you think she had wings for?]

“Spiderman asked you to look after us?” asked the archer warily as he regarded Wade.

Wade wasn’t surprised. Most Avengers, Hell, most heroes, looked at Wade like he was a bomb that could explode at any moment. Which—fair. Even he knew he wasn’t the most stable, but—but Spidey had faith in him. And he was Peter’s hero. The thought warmed him even in the face of icy detachment.

“Deadpool,” the lawyer said, “would you mind helping me back to my office? I don’t want anyone to know how capable I am.”

“Sure thing!” Helping people was what Spidey did, after all. So, while Spidey was fixing whatever he needed to fix in his civvie life, Deadpool would do what Spidey would do.

{We should make wristbands! WWSD! What Would Spidey Do?}

[No one would wear them, dumbass.]

One of the first things that Spidey had gone over with him when they started patrolling together was how to properly help someone. No matter how tempting it was, unless the person in question was in immediate, life-threatening danger, they were not to be picked up and lugged to their destination like a sack of luggage. And no, putting them in life-threatening danger was not allowed.

Wade held out an arm and Matt, after a moment of hesitation, put his hand on it. The two of them started walking. “Do you know where my office is?” asked Matt.

[Is he serious?]

“Double D, everyone knows where your office is. And your apartment. And your friends. And you, my man, have no life.”

There was a brief tightening of Matt’s fingers on Deadpool’s wrist, but he ignored the comment for the moment. “You’re very good at this,” Matt observed as Wade led them through the streets.

Wade snorted. “First night we patrolled together, Webs took me aside and gave me a lecture on the best way to help someone cross the road. I figure this is the same thing, but longer.”

“You really respect Spiderman a lot, don’t you?” asked Matt.

“Oh, yeah! Webs is the best!”

[What about Peter?]

“And so is Peter.”

[deniigi]

MORE POLYCULE SHIT

here this is mostly Sam/Ned from Matt’s POV. (this piece assumes Matt didn’t know about the negotiations until later)

Title: soda bottles

Summary: Matt finds out about Sam’s involvement with Ned and then with Peter’s polycule. He tries to talk to Sam about it, but fails. On like, every front.

---------------

The apprentice told him to stay out of his room and his life and his business and he should have known better by now, truly.

Matt knew that voice. And he also knew that what Sam, Samuel, Sammy-my-darling was doing right now at this present moment was giggling.

Unacceptable. There would be no joy in this house.

Matt removed himself from the door and declared war in silence.

 ---

 The dogs were instrumental in luring Samuel out to open space. And by luring, Matt meant knocking on his bedroom door with leashes in hand and asking Sam if he wanted a walk.

In no time Matt had zero leashes and zero dogs and, while he was at it, zero apprentices.

In fact, he had been abandoned.

In his own house.

Again.

How did this keep happening?

 ---

 Foggy told Matt to let Sam have his little crush on Ned. Ned was a good boy. Foggy had maintained this for years. He skirted around the fact that he’d grabbed Ned’s shoulders when he was 17 and had told him to stare him in the eyes and to never fall in love with his best friend.

Matt pointed this out to him and got a pillow to the face, then a huff and an uncalled-for reminder that he was a fucking idiot and no one loved him.

This was Foggy’s love language though, so Matt didn’t take it to heart. Instead, he abandoned him for the only person in the world who truly understood him.

Jenn.

 ---

  Jenn had to spend fifteen minutes cooing over the fact that Matt had acquired an apprentice and then she had to spend another ten being an asshole about it and then she spent a solid 5 making dad jokes at him when he tried to talk and so he waited until she was done with her cackling and personal jabs.

She told him that it was cute that Peter’s bestie was gushing over Matt’s apprentice.

She told him that he should be happy for them.

And Matt was. Happy for them, that is.

He was thrilled.

Sam’s track record with long-term partners, as far as Matt could tell, was a solid nil for nil. The boy refused to be attached to anyone, which Matt totally got.

But it was like standing by, watching your own young moronic self making a series of unfortunate decisions that were not only whole unnecessary, but also had solutions within easy reach, like headstones in a damn cemetery.

Sam had a string of guys and girls that he’d picked up at clubs and bars and fuckin’ hipster literature readings downtown who were literally, actually falling over themselves to be with him. And he texted them and laughed about them and joked with Leilani and Achara about them, and then never spoke of them ever again.

Matt got it, okay?

He’d been that guy.

Maybe a little more on the jock side of things and maybe a little less, say, refined than Sammy—but he still got it. A slightly longer relationship was good for Sam. And Ned was a good egg—no, a great egg.

But he just couldn’t shake this feeling, Jenn.

He didn’t even know what it was, but it made him paranoid and want Sam to go back to the self-destructive nonsense, because at least Matt knew what that felt like. He could push back against that after dumping the kid out of the ring in training.

“Matty,” Jenn said affectionately, “You’re trying to protect Sam, Ned, and Peter. But you don’t have to do that. They’re all grown. Let them make their decisions.”

Ooooohohoho

How dare she.

Matt knew they were grown. Sam was nearly 25. Peter was almost 27—oh god, Peter was almost 27. FUCK. Jesus. Lord. Someone—Christ.

Sammy was a baby.

He couldn’t be playing with these big kids, he’d have his heart broken.

What if Ned got bored of him, Jenn??

Matt couldn’t beat the shit out of Ned. Ned was a good boy. And Peter would lose his damn gourd and that was how Matt would end up under two tons of concrete and rebar with an angry spider perched on top, stomping and spitting.

“Matt,” Jenn said soothingly. “Peter learned how to be polyamorous from you, dear heart.”

Oh shit.

Oh right.

Oh no.

“I’ve gotta go,” Matt said. “Lovely talking to you, next time you’re in town, come around for a foursome or a twosome or a three if Kirsten’s down—okay BYE.”

Jenn laughed at him when he hung up.

Matt clutched at his chest.

 ---

 He’d inadvertently taught Peter what polyamory looked like by flinging himself down on many disgusting surfaces and moaning and writhing in agony and despair about Foggy being monogamous and everyone in the world being unspeakably brilliant and strong and no-doubt gorgeous.

Fuckin’ Kirsten.

Fuckin’ Wade.

Fuckin’ Karen.

And Heather and Marci and ONE TIME ONLY Frank.

UGH.

Disgusting. Matt needed Lysol to scrub that moment of weakness from his brain.

The point was that he’d been a chump, and baby Peter had observed these various moaning sessions and had apparently, at some point, started taking notes.

Gah.

Peter. Why?

Stop loving your friends. Stop copying me. Get your own breakdown material.

Uuuuuuugh.

Okay, okay. Rally, Murdock. It’s fine.

This is simply a conversation to have with Sammy about how to negotiate such--hng. Actually maybe this was a Kirsten conversation.

 ---

 He went to visit Kirsten.

He got a little distracted because Kirsten was Kirsten and she required thorough smelling and like, minimum two kisses and she deserved to have at his bare chest if she wanted it—who was he to deny her—THE POINT.

The point. Was.

That he told Kirsten about things and she told him not to talk about work when she was taking her shirt off, and he told her to leave it on for just like, five minutes longer and that came out wrong and she was insulted and Matt had to backtrack for half an hour.

But he got there in the end, alright?

Kirsten said she didn’t know that Sam was polyamorous.

Matt said that he didn’t know if he was, but he sure as shit was flirting with Ned like, constantly.

Kirsten said that that explained why Sam kept telling her that he couldn’t come to dinner with them because he already had a date. Kirsten then went rigid and said, “Wait, you mean Ned-Ned?”

Yes.

Yes, Matt did.

“Oh.”

Correct reaction.

“Is that—do you think that’s –hm.”

Correct reaction maintained and appreciated. Matt no longer felt like a monumental ass.

“That might be a little, uh, cuttin’ it close there,” Kirsten said. “Does Peter know?”

Presumably. Ned couldn’t lie for shit.

“Maybe we should ask Peter what the negotiations there are. He’s pretty on top of that stuff.”

Shockingly, that was true.

Good plan.

“If Sammy’s gonna get involved with them, then he should at least know what he’s getting into,” Kirsten said.

Yes, but also—why is this feeling happening, Kirsten, beloved life partner number 2?

“Oh, that? That’s called ‘you’re a territorial dick,’” Kirsten said. “Get over yourself.”

“But he’s 24,” Matt said. “A child.”

“He’ll be twenty-five in a few months, Matthew,” Kirsten said. “That’s bad-decision-making prime-time. This is inevitable. My concern is that he’s not going into a relationship with Ned, thinking that he’s the primary partner there.”

Okay, fair.

“Are we done with this conversation now?”

Yes.

“Thank god. I hate your dad impulses. Cleanse yourself of them and get on the bed.”

Would do.

 ---

 Kirsten made Matt call Peter and be awkward for the both of them which, Matt would like it stated for the record, was extremely unfair and manipulative of her.

Peter told him that Sam was fine.

Peter told him that he and Sam had maybe fooled around a little bit without Matt and Foggy and Kirsten’s knowledge which was. Hm.

Troublemakers. Stop laughing, Franklin. This is nothing like the time we inducted Kirsten into our life and lied about it to everyone we knew for 3 years.

Nothing.

Peter thought not. Peter thought that Sam had told Matt about this whole thing. He then got a little huffy and said that Ned was the one who had swept Sam off his feet while Peter had been standing right there, man. As Spiderman. Primed for feet-sweeping.

That was satisfying.

Peter took the next ten minutes to complain about how Sam didn’t want to talk to him as much as he wanted to talk to Ned and how Ned was always begging off dinners with Peter and MJ to go have dinner with Sam and how Peter and MJ had to make do with Johnny in his absence.

Matt would never understand why Peter pretended that he and Johnny Storm were nothing more than fuck buddies, but okay, sure. If that’s what helps you sleep at night, little lion man.

Peter went on to say that the worst part of Sam and Ned’s mutual obsession was how fucking cute it was.

Disgusting, Peter maintained.

There were matching bracelets and drawn out decisions about matching sneakers. And there was nattering on until past midnight about Transformers lore and there was non-stop texting and complaints about various tools and coding languages and all this shit that Peter’s own flavor of nerd had diverged from about six years ago.

Kirsten made a little squeak that told Matt that she was highly entertained by Peter’s ‘complaints.’

It sounded more to Matt like Peter and MJ were hunkered down behind the couch, narrating all Ned’s behavior to Johnny (the totally uninvolved fuckbuddy) in whispers.  

Foggy curled up on the edge of their own couch to muffle his wheezy giggles.

Exhausting.

The youth were exhausting. How had no one just shot Matt straight through the heart at 27?

“I will speak to Sam about emotional repression,” he promised Peter only to receive a “NO WAIT” from both him and, from the sound of it, MJ and (only fuckbuddy) Johnny a little ways away.

Peter hurriedly explained that Sammy was really shy and skittish about being around their polycule and had just connected with Ned as the least threatening member and it had taken ages, so please don’t say anything and destroy all of the rest of their hard work.

This hit a strange note.

Foggy and Kirsten weren’t snickering anymore either.

Sam?

Wasn’t?

Shy?

Like, if anything, Sammy was shameless. Always lying in people’s laps and snatching their open hands to swing back and forth.

Sure, he was teasing. But shy? Shy?

Sam was sick.

“No,” Peter said. “Double D, he’s not sick.”

Very sick. Terminally ill.

“DD. He’s not sick.”

Bullshit. Matt was taking him to the doctor. Too bad, Sam. You couldn’t avoid it forever.

“Matt. He’s just. Emotionally. Repressed. You should recognize it because its your whole way of being.”

Wow, hadn’t this conversation been going on for a while now? Time to go.

“MATT. Leave him alone,” Peter said. “I’m looking after him, okay? Chill.”

Chill. Yes. Okay, fine. Matt would chill.

For now. Goodbye, Peter.

 ---

 Matt hadn’t chilled about anything in his life and he didn’t intend to start now. So instead he confronted the apprentice.

The apprentice leaned very hard against his door and told Matt that he would rather die than speak of such things, so Matt told him to bare his neck.

Sammy was convinced. But only just.

He made himself frighteningly small and grumpy on his bed and allowed Matt to sit only on the last four inches of it. Matt kind of wanted to take the opportunity to teach him how to hiss.

But alas. That was a skill for another time.

“I talked to Peter,” he said.

Sam mumbled.

“He says you’re shy. Are you feeling okay?”

Sam mumbled in a more prolonged, growly kind of way. He was muffled by something. Probably jeans. Or sweats. Hard to tell.

“Why are you being shy? We both know you’re not shy. Ned’s a nice boy,” Matt told him. “You can trust him.”

Sam jerked his body in some way strongly enough to make the bed shake.

Matt sighed.

“Sam,” he said.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Sam said.

“Listen, kid,” Matt said. “You’re gonna do what you want. You’re grown, those are your decisions to make. But if you’re ever uncomfortable or you want to spend time with one person in particular, you’ve gotta communicate that to the others. I know that’s not like, smoothly done or whatever. But it’s what you’ve gotta do in these kinds of relationships.”

Sam made an unhappy sound.

“I don’t want a relationship,” he said quietly.

Ehn.

Same, pal.

They’re a lot of work.

“They’re worth it,” Matt promised him. “And it’s okay to be a little in love, you know. I’m in love every day. It’s not shameful. You don’t have to hide it.”

Sam huffed.

“People’ll stare,” he finally said. “If we ever went out. People would stare.”

Ahhh.

“That’s what you think,” Matt said. “But then you go and do it and it turns out that no one actually cares. People are very self-centered, Sam. You spend all this time worrying about how others perceive you and, at the end of the day, 90% of people literally don’t care. You don’t have to talk to Ned in your room all the time.”

Sam did something with his body that concentrated it even further into a dense mass.

“I like him,” he admitted. “He’s nice.”

Matt hummed.

“He’s a peaceful person,” he said.

“He talks so I don’t have to,” Sam said.

Aw.

Matt felt across the bed and eventually found Sam’s cheek to pinch.

“So shy for such a loudmouth,” he teased.

Sam bit his hand. Matt snickered.

“It’s okay, when I met Fogs I was shy, too,” he said.

Sam grumbled.

“It’s true,” Matt said. “Could not fathom having another human around who I didn’t have to put on an act for.”

He waited.

Sam didn’t even seem to realize that his heart was slowing down.

“I don’t like talking all the time,” he said after a long few beats.

Matt ruffled his hair.

“Ned knows a lot about Star Wars,” he said.

“And computers,” Sam added.

“And code,” Matt said.

Sam’s foot shook a little. Matt schooled his face. Sam crunched into a tighter ball.

Adorable.

Matt got up.

“Long distance is rough,” he said. “Maybe you guys can watch a movie together.”

Sam made a disgruntled sound. Matt left him to be miserable.

 ---

 “You’ve sure turned your opinion around.”

Yes, Husband. Matt had indeed. But that was because Sam was clearly and obviously suffering as a result of this crush, which was precisely where Matt needed him to be.

Misery was familiar. Resentment was nearly as good as spite in terms of skill development.

Dopey-ness was asking for trouble.

“Matt, you cannot be serious.”

Oh, but he could.

“Matthew, what did you tell that boy?”

Nothing he didn’t need to know.

Foggy abandoned him at the table. Matt sipped his coffee. It tasted oh-so-sweet.

 ---

 Things did not change until Matt got a text from Peter that said simply ‘when the fuck is Sam’s birthday?’

In February. Why was he asking?

Peter said ‘damn. Okay, thanks.’

Peter then said that he’d seemed a little sad lately and Ned was freaking out about it and fixating, so they were collectively looking for an excuse to cheer Sam up a little.

Oh, Matt realized. No, that wasn’t sad.

The night nurse had given Sammy the good drugs after last week. He was high as a kite, bless him. Kept running into walls and shit. Matt had dragged him up out of the dog beds twice now.

He informed Peter of the damaged elbow and got nothing but keyboard smashes in return.

This was followed by Sam stumbling out of his room and half up the stairs to make pitiful sounds when he couldn’t make them stay still long enough to climb the rest of them. Foggy shook his head and told Matt to go “strap that kid to the bed, for god’s sake. He’s gonna tear more stitches. And go text for him before he drops his phone again.”

Sammy was coming along great.

He held his phone out to Matt when Matt came down to stand over him on the stairs.

“They’re yellin’,” he slurred.

Yeah, Matt figured.

“Bed,” he said.

“It’s too hot,” Sam said.

No, pathetic ball of humanity. That was the fever, bud.

“Open the window,” Matt said.

“I have a window?”

Bless.

“Up you go,” Matt said.

“DON’T TOUCH ME. Nooooo. Teach, noooooo.”

 ---

 MM: Peter stop texting him. he can’t read his texts rn. Zero tolerance for opioids.

PP: for WHAT

MM: he’s fine. lightly stabbed. Fractured elbow.

MJ: MATT

MM: yes?

MJ: tell him to get better for us

NL: ;__; please?

MM: he will be fine. He’s supposed to be sleeping this off.  

MJ: can you keep us updated?

MM: why

PP: he’s our partner?

MM: ?

MM: I thought he was Ned’s main

NL: AJDF:AKSDFJASDFa

NL: DOES HE TALK ABOUT ME??

MJ: dude

NL: my b my b sry sry

NL: does he talk about me DD?

MM: no

NL: cool cool cool that’s fine

PP: ned

NL: it’s casual that’s cool

MJ: oh my god

NL: it doesn’t mean anything. That makes sense.

MM: peter what is happening?

PP: ned has decided that no texting means that sam hates him and no longer wants to be part of our relationship

NL: TELL HIM IM SORRY

PP: remember how you told me I have rejection issues?

MM: Ned he’s fine. He’s not mad. He’s high.

NL: [pikawat.png]

MJ: *coughs*

NL: oh shit my bad. I mean.

NL: what do you mean?

MM: I mean he likes you. He just hates talking about weaknesses. Ergo he hates talking about you.

MJ: ah, yes. I see now. The superhero logic. The forest has reappeared before me.

NL: OWO

MM: what does this mean?

PP: it’s a face. Like a super interested cat

NL: shut up

NL: so he likes me back?

MJ: no

PP: no

MM: I presume so? I don’t know kid. I just said he doesn’t talk about it.

NL: DD I will pay you in computer repairs to find out for me

MM: to find out if Sam likes you??

NL: yes

MM: what part of his obsession is confusing you

MJ: ASHDAF:SDF

PP: harsh

NL: all of it.

NL: okay so here’s the thing. We got like, matchy matchy stuff, right? Cause that’s what couples do. But he never wears his?? And like, we’ve been playing these games online, like, trying to beat each other, but he just stops playing halfway through? And if we’re watching a movie, it’s fine for the first half, but then he gets quiet and I just end up nattering away about nothing for like an hour and I can’t read the silence DD. I can’t read it. And Peter’s a liar

PP: okay no it is WELL established that I can’t lie what are you even talking about

NL: and he keeps going on about how sam’s shy, but he’s NOT shy. And we were fine until this week, but like, obviously, he’s high and not reading his messages and stuff, but idk am I making this into a big deal? From your end?

MM: What was that face, Peter?

PP: OwO

MM: OwO

MJ: ASDFAeirwieawewdflajwe

MJ: NED LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO THE OLD MAN

NL: SHUT UP. DD, please. Help me. Should I apologize? Is he bored of me? Does he want more time with Peter?

PP: what

PP: no pal I’m just a piece of ass in this situ

MJ: as you should be

PP: awwww

MM: ned Sammy’s fine?

NL:  omg ‘sammy’ that’s really cute do you think he’d mind if I called him that? You know. If he ever speaks to me again?

PP: DD just tell him everything is fine so we can all go to sleep without being woken up every 20 min for a crisis.

MM: I literally don’t know. He doesn’t talk about any of you.

NL: can you sneaky-ninja ask him?

  Matt could not with these children. Sam’s heartbeat was evening out. He was nearly back to sleep. Matt’s back couldn’t take hauling him up off the stairs in another half an hour, so he was going to stay right where he was, that was for damn sure.

“Samuel, you are dating three different flavors of spazz,” he told him.

Sam wriggled over and snuffled into his duvet.

Matt decided that that was an affirmative.

  MM: he says you’re all dramatic and to leave him alone to sleep.

NL: ;__;

PP: ned that is not rejection

NL: ok

MJ: this is embarrassing

NL: I’m just gonna crawl under the floorboards and waste away👍

PP: for fuck’s sake this is me-levels of drama

NL: DD can you tell him that if he’s ever down to just watch shit as friends that’s okay too?

MJ: NED. Matt’s literally out of this loop. And Sam’s probably unconscious.

MM: can confirm is now unconscious. I am exiting your drama.

PP: Dude remember when I said I was gonna drown myself in the sea? You are reaching those levels

NL: I JUST LOVE HIM

  Oh, aw.

  NL: And it’s okay if he doesn’t feel the same way, that’s okay, I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t like uncomfortable. I can text him less and let him do his work things and we don’t have to organize shit on the weekends. It’s totally fine

  These fuckin’ kids.

Matt grabbed Sam before he cracked his head against the wall and felt around for something to put between his forehead and it.

He fumbled out his phone in the meantime.

“Samuel,” he said into it, “When you wake up, come upstairs before taking the next pill.”

 ---

 Sam was in pain and grumpy as shit and his mood did not improve as he read through Matt’s messages.

“Two days and everyone loses their goddamn minds,” he said.

Pretty much.

“Ned loves you,” Matt teased.

“Ned needs one of those happy pills,” Sam deadpanned.

Hm. How about no?

Sam groaned and carefully melded himself to the table.

“Why don’t you wear the matchy-matchy stuff?” Matt asked, setting a bag of icy water on Sam’s shoulders. He made a soft sound of relief.

“I don’t want to get ‘em dirty,” Sam hummed.

Hm.

“Maybe if you wore them out a little bit, Ned would like that,” Matt offered.

Sam mulled this over.

“Nah,” he said. “I’ll just tell him I wear it to sleep.”

Matt was so proud.

He missed Foggy coming in halfway through that discussion.

He did not miss the lecture Foggy laid on both of them about lying to loved ones.

 ---

 Matt decided that Sam was far, far more emotionally repressed than he’d given the kid credit for. He was tickled pink.

Kirsten and Foggy were not. They called this ‘concerning behavior’ that needed ‘to be monitored in case of hidden injuries and self-harm.’

And like, man, it was as if they’d hard experience with this shit or something.

Matt decided to bypass their waffling and cornered Sam by trapping him in his duvet and demanding to know if he was hiding any injuries or self-harm.

Sam told him to get out of his room. His heartbeat did not react to the accusations, but rather to Matt’s ‘giant, heavy, albatross body’ assaulting him in his safe place.

Matt decided that this was proof that the emotional repression was, as he had always argued, doing exactly what it needed to: making Sam three times more functional as a human being.

Foggy took from that explanation that Matt was lying to him again.

Which, like, obviously.

But did Foggy need to know any of that?

Fuck no.

Only happy times with Matt Murdock here.

Smiling was somehow the wrong answer.

Smiling resulted in yelling. And then lots of loud heartbeats. And then something that looked a little like a fight, probably, to people with working eyes. But Matt knew that it wasn’t that.

It was just Foggy being hurt that Matt couldn’t tell him that Foggy’s homesickness was digging holes in his own resolve and mental wellbeing.

Sam popped up when Foggy went to go lay down to calm down and asked if everything was okay.

Matt told him it was.

Sam’s heart was not convinced. It started beating faster somehow.

Matt fully anticipated the texts that arrived later that night.

 ---

 PP: yo DD, you guys okay?

MM: why

PP: ‘cause Sam’s freaking out saying that you and Foggy were shouting again?

MM: ah

MM: no we’re okay. No biggie

PP: I smell bullshit

MM: carry on smelling then

PP: Matt do you ever think about how you’re like, an example to us all of how not to live?

MM: beg your pardon?

PP: I just mean like, you do shit and we all learn from your shit. Like, every day.

MM: ?

PP: Sam like dumped a pile of lies he’d been telling Ned in his lap and started crying for like half an hour and apologized for another 40 minutes and then hung up and won’t answer his phone.

MM: what was that face again? The cat one?

PP: OwO

MM: OwO

PP: lol

 ---

 The apprentice was perhaps absorbing too much too fast. He flat out denied having had any emotional crisis.

His heart was dead even when he said it. He was getting too good at out-maneuvering that trick.

“Peter seems to think that you had one the other night,” Matt mused.

“Peter needs to mind his own business,” Sam sniffed.

Aha.

“You like Peter,” Matt pointed out.

“He’s fine,” Sam said.

“Fine or fine?”

“That’s nasty, Teach. Don’t be gross. That’s like your little brother.”

Oh, sure it was.

“If Peter is sussing out your lies, you’re not doing a good enough job,” Matt said. “What you need, kiddo, is an aura and a starting point.”

Sam paused in making a horrible grating noise with some tool in his hand.

“A starting point?” he asked.

Why yes, apprentice.

As in, if you start off with your walls up and don’t let them buckle so easily, so many of these problems can be avoided.

“Isn’t that, like, the opposite of what Foggy said to do?” Sam asked suspiciously.

Well, technically. The husband might be correct for normal humans, but they weren’t normal humans. And as much as Matt loved him and thought he was brilliant, Foggy would never truly grasp that Matt needed those lies.

He needed the repression. The bottling. The anger.

He needed all that shit to be shaken up in him and then capped by the helmet every night.

Doing that kept Matt safe. It kept others safe.

It wasn’t fun and it wasn’t pretty and yeah, Matt was pretty fucked up because of it.

But Stick hadn’t been wrong about everything.

Not even he could be wrong about everything.

“It’s called balance,” Matt said. “Think about it like this. You’re a teacher. You’re about to walk into a new class. You need to establish a respectful relationship between yourself and these kids. How do you do it? Do you start off nice? Or do you start off strict?”

Sam said nothing.

“I start off strict,” Matt said. “Because it’s infinitely easier to become nicer and to keep respect than it is to start off nice and get meaner.”  

Sam processed this.

“This sounds like an anti-Foggy sentiment,” he said.

No. It wasn’t anti-Foggy. Nothing was anti-Foggy.

“It’s nuance,” Matt said. “Intrapersonal relationships? Minimal repression. Interpersonal relationships, maximum repression. Don’t give them something to use against you”

Sam’s teeth clicked together as he worked his jaw.

“Talk to Ned and Peter,” he said. “Walls up to everyone else.”

Everyone else. Yes.

“I can do that.”

Yeah, Matt knew. Sam did it to pretty much anyone he didn’t immediately take a liking to at the firm.

“I can do that,” Sam repeated.

Woah. Wait. Hold on there, slugger. Nuance, remember?

“I’m just gonna hate the entire world,” Sam said. “Thanks, Teach. That’s a big help.”

 ---

 PP: Matt

MM: Peter

PP: you know that Sam fucks with you daily right?

MM: …I forget sometimes

PP: lol you guys are funny

  That little shit. Fine.

Do whatever. See if Matt cared.

Goddamn kids and their goddamn love affairs.

Whatever. Fuck ‘em.

Let them learn the bullshit on their own time. Matt had better things to do.

 ---------------

Matt and Foggy and Kirsten have their own polycule goin on with folks entering and leaving it as need be. And sometimes you just have to make Sam/Ned content because it is unerringly adorable.

[ampmiscfiles]

The Webs We Weave: Chapter 30

Start From The Beginning

"You realize you've got the entirety of the Avengers and the vigilantes of New York looking for you?" Peter sneered."Oh, I'm fully aware that all your little friends are looking for Osborn." The man smirked.Suddenly, it hit.Fisk! Wilson Fisk! The rising 'star' from Hell's Kitchen. Start From The Beginning

Fisk?

Tony looked at the large man smirking at Peter.

Fisk. Where had he heard that name before?

"I truly hope your worth the time to me. I wouldn't mind getting rid of you as well, but I promised Osborn I'd leave your fate to him as payment."

"You realize you've got the entirety of the Avengers and the vigilantes of New York looking for you?" Peter sneered.

"Oh, I'm fully aware that all your little friends are looking for Osborn." The man smirked.

Suddenly, it hit.

Fisk! Wilson Fisk! The rising 'star' from Hell's Kitchen.

Tony had never really paid the man any attention as his business was pretty exclusive to Hell's Kitchen and improving it. He was technically small time to Tony, but did have promise if he decided to start expanding, which Tony had assumed he would.

Still, what business did Wilson Fisk had with Dea-

Tony froze.

How could he be that stupid?

Peter wasn't a bait for Deadpool.......he was a bait for Daredevil.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harley followed silently behind Wade and Daredevil. His head was spinning with the new revelations.

Peter Parker was Spider-Man.

The cute guy he had been desperately trying to win over was the same man he had been feuding with.

What a mess.

He glared at the back of Wade Wilson's head. Perhaps, if he had gotten to know Spider-Man and Peter before the mercenary, things would be different. Maybe if he had actually taken time to better figure out the story between Peter and Tony, things might be different.

Not that he was sure he wanted to know the story between Tony and Peter.

When it was just Spider-Man, with his attitude, it had been easy for Harley to hate him. Knowing now that it was Peter, and having spent a little time with him, Harley couldn't stop the nagging feeling that maybe Tony wasn't at innocent as he thought.

Still, Harley respected Tony. He looked up to the man and really couldn't find it in himself to believe that anything he uncovered between Tony and Peter would change those feelings.

Because it was obvious Peter didn't want it to.

He could have ousted Tony for whatever had happened, but he didn't. So either the problem wasn't all Tony, or Peter was really just that intent of keeping it between the two of them.

He had to respect Peter for it.

Anyone else might have jumped at the chance to get people on their side, but not Peter. Sure, he obviously had his vigilante friends and family, but it was also clear that they trusted Peter and left the choice up to him. Whatever he decided, whether they liked it or not, they respected it.

"You keeping up back there, brat." Wade tossed over his shoulder.

"Don't push your luck, mercenary." Harley sneered. "I'm only working with you for Peter's sake."

"Don't tell me you still think you have a chance with him!" Wade growled.

"Shut it! Both of you!" Matt hissed. "I don't have the patience to hear you argue."

Both men closed their mouths as Matt seethed next to them. Wade imagined he could see the ground smoking under the man's feet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"There's no way all these tunnels will lead to where we need to be." Natasha frowned. "Spider-Man and Tony are gone. We're not all going to end up in the same place."

"We've been walking a while." Clint replied. "Even if we turn back and take the tunnel they did, there's no way we'd catch up to them."

"Then maybe we need to be thinking outside the box." Natasha said, stopping.

"What are you thinking?"

"Maybe these tunnels aren't as clean cut as they look. I mean, if I had an elaborate system of moving goods, I'd also have contingency plans."

"You think the tunnels all connect?" Clint asked, looking around.

"I think it's worth keeping an eye out for possible side routes, or even the ceiling."

"Well then," Clint grinned. "Let's put these spy skills to use."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Keep an eye out for side or even top exits from the tunnels."

Clint's voice came through the comms.

Felicia looked over at Bucky as he stopped and looked around. They didn't notice anything where they were, but that didn't mean they wouldn't come across one, or more, if they kept going.

"I hate to tell you big guy," Felicia smirked. "But I can promise you my eyesight is better in dark and dim light than yours."

Bucky raised an eyebrow and Felicia turned, making her way further down the tunnel.

"Enhancement?"

"Night vision."

Bucky stopped as she threw a saucy wink over her shoulder.

"Trust me, it comes in handy.......at the most interesting of times."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, he goes through all this trouble of capturing us in the room......and never considered the strength of the actual walls?" Luke groaned, running his hand down his face as Jessica punched at the steadily crumbling wall.

"A few more well placed hits and we'll have a hole we can get through." Jessica grinned.

"Get to it Cage. Danny and I aren't gonna do it all."

Luke smirked, cracking his knuckles and throwing a punch. The walls cracked and crumbled sheet rock busted away.

"Looking good. I think you and Rand can handle it from here." Jessica smirked, settling herself against the opposite wall and watching.

"Chop chop boys."

"Well, you heard the lady." Danny shrugged.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frank Castle didn't do subtle.

Kicking the door in, he stepped into the dark inside of Fisk Tower. He hated crooked business dealers.

He hated them even more when they went after people he actually liked.

Picking up his duffle, Frank strolled down the long corridors, ignoring the cameras "hidden" in corners. So what if anyone knew he was coming, it wasn't like he had a problem playing dirty.

"Big shot billionaires." Frank scoffed. "They're either disgustingly crooked, or arrogantly obnoxious. Now, if I was an insane, serum high piece of shit, where would I hide?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony watched as Fisk circled Peter, analyzing him.

"I wonder just how old you are, Spider-Man. You've been under the red menace's watch for some time now. Long enough to make you the perfect bait for luring him to me."

"I hate to tell you, Fisky, but Daredevil isn't coming. He's not that stupid."

Tony could hear Peter's smirk behind his mask.

Fisk chuckled as shook his head.

"I think you and I both know that's a lie. In fact, I look for him to show up very soon. We already have a few of your little friends locked away."

Peter tensed.

Tony frowned. He knew it couldn't be any of the Avengers, which only left the vigilantes Peter was always with.

So much for backup.

"Boss!"

Norman and Fisk looked up as a bloody guard stepped into the room. His right arm hung loosely at his side and his left leg left a trail of blood behind it.

"We....we have a pro-"

A bullet through the man's skull ended his warning.

"Good. I haven't missed any fun."

Peter gasped under the mask as Frank Castle, bloody and grinning madly, strolled into the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Who the hell hires all these guys?" Danny shouted, punching a guard in the face.

"You're telling me you don't have a mass of evil underlings, Rand?" Jessica cackled, slamming another into the wall.

"I don't need underlings. I run a respectable business!"

"If you have employees, you have underlings!" Luke huffed, throwing a larger man into an oncoming group.

"Whatever, let's just move. We gotta find Osborn be-"

A vent falling out the ceiling stopped the group as two people dropped down.

"Starting without us?" Clint grinned.

"We hate missing all the fun." Natasha smirked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matt stopped, an odd sound ringing in his ears. Holding out his hand, he stopped Harley from following behind Wade, just in time to watch the mercenary go flying into one wall as a hole was knocked into the other.

"Holy shit!" Harley yelled, immediately encased in the Iron Lad armor.

"Matt!"

Harley watched in shock as the platinum blonde woman and Bucky Barnes stepped into the tunnel.

"Felicia. I want to be surprised, but I'm not." Matt said with a small, but relieved smile as she wrapped herself around him in a hug.

"We have to find him, Matty." she whispered.

Matt didn't reply. There wasn't a need to.

"Where's Wilson?" Bucky asked, looking around.

"Over here under the rubble, you Sebastian Stan wanna be lookin' asshole!"

Bucky rolled his eyes, walking over and pulling the grumbling mercenary out of the rubble.

"It's not like anyone could do any more damage to that head of yours."

"I'll have you know, Petey likes my head just the way it is."

"I never said the kid had good taste."

Wade gasped as Bucky turned and walked back to where Felicia and Matt were talking.

"Lose the suit kid." Bucky grunted, passing by the still suited up Harley.

Harley glared at his back as the suit retracked.

"Let's get moving." Matt instructed. "Peter and Stark were taken in this tunnel, I'm not deviating from it."

The group nodded, moving forward.

They walked for a while before coming to a dead end.

"Are you kidding me?" Harley huffed. "No way this tunnel just ends like this."

"For once, I agree with the brat." Wade grumbled, looking around.

"Because he's right." Matt said, moving back and forth along the wall. "I can hear air hissing through the cracks."

"Are you seriously telling me there is a secret door to and out of this tunnel?" Wade asked excitedly.

"Are you seriously telling me your getting excited over something this stupid when Peter and Tony are missing?" Harley glared.

Wade ignored him, instead choosing to study the area.

Harley looked over as Felicia put her hand on his shoulder.

"Trust me, he's worried, humor is just a defense. Besides, Peter would most likely be the same way."

"Think I found the key." Bucky said, drawing everyone's attention as he pushed into a few bricks, noting the slight give.

"Suit up, kid." Matt tossed over his shoulder to Harley. "We don't know what's on the other side."

Harley felt the nanites run over him, sealing him inside his armor.

As Bucky pushed fully on the trigger, the wall began to slide to the side. Wade clapped in delight at the absolute cheesy evil villainy of the event.

As soon as the door completely opened, the sound of gunshots rang out in the area.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter watched as Frank fell to the floor as a group of men ran into the room, tackling him to the ground.

"It seems as though you didn't do as through of a job of dispatching my men as you thought, Mr. Castle." Fisk smirked, his smug expression only serving to infuriate Frank more than being caught off guard.

"Perhaps your lack of proper planning should be reconsidered."

"Of let it be the perfect distraction."

Peter broke out into a grin as Jessica Jones flew into the room, a flurry of excited punches and kicks as Luke, Danny and, surprisingly, Natasha and Clint, followed behind her.

"Osborn!" Fisk growled, "I thought you said they were secure!"

"You started without us!"

Tony's eyes widened as Wade Wilson rolled into the room, guns firing. Harley flew in behind him, repulsors blasting the equipment in the room.

More guards flooded the space, trapping Bucky and Felicia right outside the door they came through in combat.

Norman growled, rushing over to a side table and picking up a syringe.

"I won't lose you again so quickly this time, Peter." he said, stabbing the needle into the side of Peter's neck.

"Peter!" Tony shouted, struggling to break out of his bonds.

Peter slumped forward, Norman catching him as the restraints were undone.

"You just always seem to be a few steps behind me, Stark." Norman sneered, throwing Peter's limp form over his shoulder.

"Put him down or a swear-"

"You'll what? You seem to be missing the picture here, Tony. Your little band of resc-"

Norman's words were cut off as another wall cracked and burst open.

Wanda, hands glowing red flew into the room, followed by the remaining team of Avengers.

Tony had never been more happy to see them.

Grabbing another syringe off his cart, Norman stabbed his leg, the green liquid flowing in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fisk glared at the fighting as he stumbled back into the shadows. If he wasn't killed or captured, Norman would pay heavily for his failure.

Pressing a button, a panel opened up and he slipped inside. He had prepared for the possible problems of Norman's scheme tonight, and a helicopter had been stationed on the roof for emergency evacuation.

He couldn't be charged for a crime he wasn't here to commit after all.

"Going somewhere?"

Fisk jumped, spinning around to find Daredevil standing behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Norman cackled gleefully as the serum coursed through his veins. He could feel the raw power it provided, raising him from a normal human to something more.

"How cute that you think you'll win so easily." Norman grinned madly.

"Put Spider-Man down!" Steve shouted, shield up.

"You're so demanding, Captain." Norman laughed. "But I've worked far to hard to get to this point.

Shoving his hand in his pocket, Norman pulled out a small remote.

"Let's even the field a little bit."

"Watch out!" Sam yelled, pushing Steve out of the way as the goblin's glider flew right through where he had stood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony struggled against his bonds. He had to get out and help!

"Tony!"

Tony's head snapped to the side as Harley ran up to him, pulling the straps from him.

"Where's Peter?"

"You know who he is?" Tony asked, rubbing his wrists.

"Yeah, Daredevil spilled the beans on both his and Peter's identities when you two fell."

Tony nodded, looking around. He grinned as his eyes landed on the nanite encasing arc reactor, snatching it off the metal cart.

"What do you say kid," Tony started, attaching the reactor and hitting it. "Let's do some damage."

Harley grinned, helmet covering his face.

"FRIDAY, give me a scan of this structure." Tony said, as his helmet incased him.

"Tony, wha-"

"Get to blasting kid." Tony ordered, firing up his suit. "Scans show this place isn't supporting Fisk Tower, and we can't have anything leaving this lab. Osborn is keeping stuff here and we don't know what all that is. It's all gotta go."

Harley nodded before blasting off.

Tony snatched up the syringe Norman had stabbed Peter with.

"FRIDAY, give a reading."

"It's a strong sedative. From what records I still have of Peter, he'll burn through this, but will be sluggish for a bit."

"Great."

[princesssarcastia]

here is the key to making me fall in love with a superhero narrative.

community.

obviously angst and the identity-porn, i-work-alone sole savior of the neighborhood/city/universe can work.  im particularly fond of the angst aspect, because it can be pretty delicious sometimes.

but goddamn, especially in marvel and dc, with how many superheroes ther are lying around, there is no excuse for going it alone. no excuse for not calling someone for help, or waving as you swing past, or picking up ticks and trips, or having dumb groupchat.

creating a sense of community among people feels so warm.  reading about being alone, the buffy-esque “i am the law” narrative, can be cathartic; like a really good tragedy.  but one after another after another is really really depressing.  what I always really want is for people to have friends, to have people like them.

cause, you know.  that’s what we all want, in the end.  and on a more personal level, the idea that people who just want to use their abilities to help can band together, and bond, and thrive, makes me have hope.

that’s part of why into the spiderverse was AMAZING.  All these other spider-people have their intro about suffering and tragedy and being alone; but not miles.  Miles Morales, breath of fresh air and heir to the narrative that he is, ends the movie with “and I’m not the only one.” 

he creates a sense of community where he stands by irrevocably claiming his family in the face of kingpin, by helping and hanging with the other spider-people and not standing for their self-sacrificing bs, by walking on the sidewalks among the people, laughing and joking and giving babies fist bumps.

(it’s also why that spark in the mcu died after ‘the avengers.’  or maybe a little later, maybe after ‘the winter soldier.’  because the feral cat assholes in the mcu never called each other family or cared about each other day to day or lived in the same tower together, never even called one another for help.  its so depressing. movie after movie after movie of self-righteous isolationism, ugh)

like.  okay, the black widow run that phil noto did art for was a solo thing, totally focused on natasha and her jobs/character growth/etc.  but she didn’t live in a bubble, and she wasn’t afraid to ask for help.  she runs into clint and daredevil in the day to day, and takes missions with the howling commandos, and calls wolverine (laura kinney) for help on her mission when she needs someone angry.  she is a part of a community that she can reach out to, and that reaches out to her in turn. 

which doesn’t even get into that amazing trope, that most often pops up in spider-man movies, where the literal, physical community that heroes protect protect the heroes back. 

that’s what i want, always.  that’s how i would write it if i could, every time.

and i’m not the only one.  here’s some marvel verse recs that do this well:

for the superhero community:

Inimitable Verse, by deniigiq on ao3. uhhh holy shit, a monster of a spin on the iconic Team Red trope.  vaguely mcu ajacent. Peter Parker comes out of semi, grad-school-inspired retirement to a city in need and a rash of copycats who have risen to the challenge; he calls his old pals Wade Wilson and Matt Murdock to help him put things to rights, and makes a new team along the way because hell yes. 10/10, would recommend.  author does some excellent stuff with the mental burden of being a superhero, too, and how having a community/support system helps.

give us an our father, by deniigiq on ao3.  another classic.  wade wilson assembles an odd team composed of the punisher, falcon, hawkeye, the winter soldier, and elektra to go rescue matt murdock from enemies unknown.  some more willingly than others.  deniigiq has a plethora of good marvel content for you if you want to go through it, and a lot of it has that community bug i’m talking about.

Inside Her Ruined Body, by OctaviaPerverell on ao3.  a fem!tony stark mcu post-civil war series where Toni goes around rebuilding the avengers and recruiting some bby!avengers along the way.

brandywine421 on ao3 has a bunch of defenders fic where they actually, you know.  like each other, and call each other, and are friends.  I just burned through them last week because they’re all delightful. rice krispies is a particularly good example of this, if you want a starting point; it’s a post-mcu-snap fic.

Claire Temple’s Home for Wayward Superhumans, by words-writ-in-starlight on ao3.  In which word gets around about Claire Temple, mostly because she’s always going to help vigilantes who fall into her path, and they sometimes help her back.

my hero, your pariah (the future is now), by words-writ-in-starlight on ao3.  I’m particularly fond of starlight’s steve rogers, who in this (spoilers) gets into a fight with a sexist asshole in ch1 and calls his superhero friends to escort women to the entrance of a clinic in ch2.

for the real, physical community trope:

Maggie Fitzgerald and the Saltwater Drip, by antistar_e on ao3.  A Spider-Gwen au of TASM verse, and literally in top five favorite fics i’ve ever read.   Gwen (vague spoilers) interacts with different communities in new york in a meaningful way, and learns a little about privilege along the way.  Her adventures in mask with MJ’s theater company are goals.

Battle Plans, by prettybirdy979 on ao3.  Daredevil gets his ass saved by the nurses at Claire’s hospital

(A City Full of) Helping Hands, by aloneintherain on ao3.  Peter Parker Spider-Man swallows a gas bomb and incites a city-wide search to save him. 

Last to Know, by whitcry9 on ao3. Brett Mahoney’s attempts to get a decent description of daredevil are hilariously deterred by the denizens of hell’s kitchen.

if you have recs like this, please please PLEASE let me know, i’m always looking

[feenyreadscomics]

Team Red visits area 51

So, this is my first attempt at writing a true team Red fanfic. Anyways, for context, all three have worked together before, but Peter dosent know who DD is (just that he's a lawyer) and DD only knows that Peter is in high school. Both DD and Peter know who Deadpool is. Deadpool doesn't know who Spiderman is, but knows who DD is. Slight change to what's in Area 51. First, theres what's actually in area 51 (spoilers, not saying here) but the meme of this universe is that's where the cryptids are (vampires, zombies, werewolves, etc.) Also, the group invading Area 51 features some inserts, because at least some people need to show up to raid Area 51. Gwenpool shows up and uses her powers, so it gets a bit meta, since for Gwenpool it is a super powers thing, not a mental illness thing. All glory to @morepopcornplease ,@smokeyloki @supesofherown for willing to be my area 51 squad

Matt was tired.

There were robots everywhere. Robots on the ceiling, on the floor, just...robots. They were difficult to track, and, more importantly, difficult to punch. Matt's knuckles bled. The suit helped, but not enough.

When did Hell's Kitchen get so wild? Matt wondered. Then suddenly, Matt's world blurred and flipped. He was hanging upside down by his ankle.

"Hey, Double D! Hope you don't mind me bringing in some reinforcements!"

Ah. Spiderman. And oh look. (Or not.) Deadpool. Daredevil gagged. The stench of decay was...distinctive.

Matt started tugging at the webbing around his ankle. It wouldn't unstick. Maybe he should start weilding swords. That way, he could cut himself free and escape while he had a chance.

Maybe he could get Elekra to show him how to use knives.

Deadpool jumped past him, dualweilding katanas. "Eyyyyy! Horn head joined the party!" Matt grumbled under his breath.

Deadpool and Spiderman fought side by side, Spiderman webbing down robots, and Deadpool either shooting or stabbing them. Meanwhile, Matt gnawed at his ankle. Eventually the flow of robots stopped. Deadpool cut Daredevil down.

Deadpool and Spiderman looked around, and fist bumped. Matt coughed loudly.

"I had it under control."

"Because that-" Deadpool gestured around them "-was in control."

"Could have taken care of it."

Deadpool walked over and placed his hands on Matt's shoulders. Matt wrinkled his nose. "Red, you were punching bare metal. With your fists. Let me see them." Deadpool went to grab Matt's hands. Matt pulled them away. Deadpool forcibly grabbed Matt's hands and took off his gloves.

"See? Perfectly fine."

"Ah yes, bloody knuckles are perfectly fine. Now, Webhead has a special mission he wants to invite you on. After that, you're gonna go home to your boy and he's gonna kiss your boo boos better."

"He's not my boy."

"He could be."

"He's married, I'm Catholic and I'm not interested."

"Suurree." Deadpool dropped Matt's hands. "If you are looking for someone else, you know where to find me." Deadpool wiggled his eyebrows, which caused his mask to shift a bit. Matt punched Deadpool. Deadpool laughed.

"See ya hornhead." Deadpool walked off.

"Catholic?" Spidey asked.

"Yep."

"Hmm, ironic considering..." Spiderman gestured to Matt, "...everything."

"Yeah. Ya got a question?:

"Oh yeah, wanna go to area 51 with me and Deadpool?"

"Spidey, I have a buisness to run. No."

"Oh come on! You should."

"Why?"

"Do it for the alien tech. Do it for the meme. Do it because we don't know what the government is hiding in there." Spiderman paused for dramatic effect. "We need to know if vampires really exist. You can't keep that stuff from people."

"No, and you're going to get arrested for it." Matt sighed. "Listen, if you're going to go, can I at least give you this?" Matt pulled a buisness card out of his suit, and handed it over to Spidey.

"Nelson and Murdock, attorneys at law?" Spiderman raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I have them on speed dial in case I get arrested. Call them if you need legal help."

"Got it."

--

Matt tumbled into Foggy's apartment. Foggy materialized from his bedroom, bleary eyed.

"Here for checkup." Matt smiled.

"Good. I'll bring you some clean clothes. What bandages do you need? Do we need to call the Night Nurse?" Matt and Foggy had this check up system in place so they wouldn't have to bother her with minor wounds and Foggy could sleep soundly, such as twisted ankles and jammed fingers.

"Nope. Knuckles just need bandaging."

"Good. Though it says something about our lives that you are hurt at all, and I'm saying its fine."

"I know, Fogs." Foggy started applying rubbing alchohol to Matt's knuckles. Matt hissed a bit. "I miss the old days. When there were fewer heroes running around." Matt paused.

"Not when we didn't need spandex clad idiots?"

Matt snorted and thought about it for a bit. "Nah. I guess we always needed them."

"What did the idiots do this time?"

"They want to raid area 51."

"You're shitting me."

"Nope."

"They really are complete dumbasses. Utter morons." Foggy paused. "They'll be out of town for it, right?"

"Yeah..."

"You know where they live, right?"

"Just Wade."

"You could prank him."

"Hmmm... would you help?"

"If you can make sure he doesn't murder me." Foggy finished bandaging Matt's hands. "You're good to go. Do you need a change of clothes?"

"Yeah."

Foggy retrieved some sweatpants and a tshirt. He also got a paper bag out.

"Okay, I got a change of clothes, and a paper bag."

"Thanks, Foggy. You're the best."

"Text or call me when you're home safe."

"Will do."

--

Peter was out in the New Mexico desert, and it was nice. Warm. New York was cold. Peter was cold in New York. All the time.

DD thought it was because something with the Spider bite giving him a few cold blooded drawbacks. Wade thought it was because Peter was too skinny.

Which was because the bite fucked up his metabolism, he supposed.

But for now Peter was in the desert, and warm. It was pleasant.

For five seconds, more or less. He heard chatting, and decided to follow it.

He found a group of four people camped out in the desert, discussing strategies for getting into Area 51. They were all some degree of sunburned, sharing water bottles, and arguing about if they could expect anyone else to show up. Peter waved at them.

"Hello!" One of them responded.

"Oh, hey Spidey!" One of them yelled. She waved him over.

"Glad you could join us."

"We have a chance now!" One of them pumped her fist.

"Smokey, are these your reinforcements?"

"Hi, so, you're obviously Spiderman, I'm V, and this is Smokey," V, apparently, gestured to someone wearing a fedora, apparently Smokey, "Supes," V pointed to a woman in a Superman tshirt, "and Popcorn!" V gestured to a woman wearing a tank top that had "The only iron I pump is the IRON WILL OF GOD" on it.

"Popcorn?"

"She ate all the popcorn!" Smokey complained. Peter tilted his head.

"Smokey did most of the planning, including rations." Supes commented.

"Okay... I should be having a friend meet me here soon!"

"Awesome! Is he in the raid?"

"Yeah."

"Cool. We should talk strategy, while we wait for him to get here..."

--

So they figured that Deadpool would charge into Area 51 as a distraction. Once the guards left to fight him, the group of four would try to scale the fence. While the fence scaling was going on, Spidey would crawl through the drainage pipe to grab whatever paranormal stuff he could find. Leading an army, Spiderman would free the rest of them, allowing them to return home safely.

When Deadpool finally showed up, he laughed at their faces.

"Spidey, you're smarter than this. This isnt gonna work. Besides, I'm expecting one other person. She will help you out. A lot."

"Hello!" A loud, high pitched voice yelled from behind them.

Deadpool and Spiderman turned to see the pinkest person they had ever set eyes on.

--

Peter had thought Wade was crazy. Wade had thought Wade was crazy.

This was nothing compared to Gwen Poole. She was pink and energy, and mostly talked nonsense. Something about this all being fanfiction, and a disappointing lack of panels. Also, according to her, one of the four "self inserts" was "the author."

Wade thought he could keep up, but no. Whatever the fuck voices were in his head paled in comparison to whatever Gwen had.

Like, Deadpool occasionally thought he was in a comic, but she seemed to be able to do something about it. Dead silent explosions because "I caught the otomotapeia," inexplicable escapes...

Cuz if there's real weird shit in there, she can handle it.

As is though, she kept calling one of the people "the author" and it was making his own head spin. That's... not normally how this went. But she'd be going with the four civilians in. She'd be able to keep them alive.

And so it begins.

--

The plan started to fall apart immediately.

Deadpool was doing fine, Spiderman was doing fine.

Gwen and V were in a heated arguement.

"What do you mean, you didn't write any scenes inside area 51?"

"I told you, I don't know what you're talking about! Besides, don't you have powers? Can't you do something about it?"

"Not in a fanfic! Not in normal literature! The format matters. I can manipulate comic panels, not THIS SHITSHOW."

"Uh, guys? I think the Feds are here." Popcorn piped up.

"Hands up!" A man yelled. They all slowly put their hands up.

--

Deadpool made it in. He found a cat named Goose in a cage. He picked it up and continued running through the halls.

He ran into Spiderman. Literally. They both shouted.

"Glad to see you're alive! Do you know where Gwen's squad went?"

"Yeah, I saw them getting arrested just before making it in. And look! I found a cat!" Wade proudly held the cat up to Peter. Voices shouted from behind them.

"WADE! WE NEED TO GET THEM!"

Oh. Right.

"So, any ideas?"

"Stop!" A voice called out behind Deadpool.

The duo ran through the halls, left and right, trying to lose the gaurds. Spidetman opened a door they found, a supply closet. Spiderman opened the cage, and sat the cat on Wade's lap. Spiderman threw the cage down the hall.

"What the fuck was that for?" Deadpool furiously whispered.

"Distraction," Spiderman whispered back.

The guards immediately opened the supply closet. The cat hissed. Then, he opened his mouth. Wide.

Tentacles shot out from the cat's mouth, wrapping around the guard. He let out a shriek, cut short by Goose swallowing him whole.

Deadpool and Spiderman looked at the cat, eyes wide.

"I like you," Deadpool declared, firmly.

--

The other five were in a metal truck.

"Do you have any way out?" Smokey asked.

"No. We're gonna be tried for treason." Supes commented.

"If only the others could get us out of here." V added.

"Wait. That's it."

"What do you mean, that's it?"

"I can get out of here. You wrote something just now of Spidey and Deadpool back at Area 51. I can go there now, let them know where we are, which is in a metal truck, headed to... damn. Don't know definitively, but it's a shot. Just give me a moment..." Gwen pushed on something, and floated up into the ceiling.

"Well, this just got worse," Smokey commented.

--

"Hey guys!"

Wade screamed.

"Woah, Gwen, how'd you get here?" Spidey sounded shocked.

"The writer mentioned you in Area 51, so I could come over to visit, through some medium manipulation. "

"Great job, Pinky. Now, where's everyone else? And do you know what the fuck is going on with this cat?" Wade held out Goose.

"No idea. The writer didn't bother informing the audience of their exact location, and two, the cat is a flergen. Now, let me think." Gwen started pacing around the supply closet, muttering to herself.

"Hmmmm.... wait a minute.... I got it!" Gwen shrieked and snapped her fingers. "Ma- DD, gave you a buisness card for himself. Give it to me, and I'll bring it to them, and they'll be able to call him to lawyer them out." Gwen held out her hand. "Gimme." Reluctantly, Spiderman handed it over. "Thanks, Webhead!" Gwen pushed upwards again. Then, she was gone.

--

Thud!

Gwen fell back into the truck, then grabbed for something.

"Soooooo, what's the plan?" Popcorn asked.

"Sit tight and get Matt Murdock to lawyer us out. He's a crack lawyer, and considering this is fanfic, I imagine he'll be great at it."

"M'Kay." Popcorn said, rolling her eyes.

--

Matt Murdock was a bit busy at the moment. He was busy saran wrapping Wade's pillows. Foggy was trying to cram a rubber duck into a shampoo bottle. Well, Wade's shampoo. Foggy didn't get why the guy had it (Wade was bald) but he figured he'd ask no questions. Just prank.

Matt's phone rang. An unknown number. He picked up.

"Hello! This is Matthew Murdock. Who is this?"

"Hello, this is Gwen Poole, friend of Spiderman, in need of legal counsel. Would you be able to help?"

"Where are you? Is Spiderman or Deadpool with you?"

"No. I'm with four other civilians. We are in New Mexico."

"Shit. I can't exactly make it over there."

"Shit."

Foggy yelped in surprise, then cheered. "Got it in!"

Gwen thought for a bit. "What if we book an airline for you to get here."

Matt thought about it. "That could work."

--

The next morning, Foggy drove Matt to the airport, grumbling the whole way.

"They're idiots, Matt, you shouldn't have to save them." Matt began staring (as best he could) at his hands.

"Its a Catholic guilt thing, isn't it?" Foggy sighed. "Fine, go be a lawyer hero while I singlehandedly keep the firm running. It's a good thing I'm the brains of Nelson and Murdock, while you're the beauty."

"I'm not the brawn of Nelson and Murdock?"

"No, that's Karen." Matt cracked a smile.

Foggy pulled up to the curb. "Keep me posted. Let me know when you're coming back and how it goes."

"I will." Matt got out of the car, and grabbed his suitcase.

He waved as Foggy drove away. Deep breaths, Murdock. You can navigate an airport and plane, he thought. Matt entered the airport.

--

A few hours later, Matt landed in New Mexico, where he couldn't get off the plane fast enough, then took a taxi to where they were being held.

He raised hell. He got everyone (except for Gwen) released that night. New Mexico state troopers had never seen the fury of a Matt Murdock scorned.

Apparently, since everyone was in the middle of the desert, and needed supplies, the threat of death by dehydration was enough to get them all off. Gwen, however, was stuck back in prison, because she was armed, and various other crimes due to being the leader of MODOK. As far as anyone could follow.

Everyone then boarded a plane back to New York.

"Did this just happen?" V asked. "This feels crazy.

"It it really is," Smokey agreed.

Something in the overhead compartment shifted. The stewardess opened it, and Gwen jumped out.

"Thank you!" She said to the stewardess. "Man, that was cramped. Good to be out in the light of day!"

--

Wade Wilson was looking forward to a relaxing night at home, after the craziness of the past few days. He had Goose tucked in his one arm. He opened his apartment. Little rubber ducks were everywhere. Over the counters, on the bookshelves. He opened the fridge. There was a rubber duck.

Goose meowed, then tentacled the duck.

"That's cannibalism, Goose." Wade put down Goose, then went to nap. His cheek hit saran wrap.

"Fuck you, Murdock!" Wade yelled.

Thanks for reading! I tried to have Gwen's powers make sense, but it's...difficult.

[dumbbitchnumberone]

Maybe its one of their birthdays,,,

Okay so this ficlet… kinda got away from me. It’s 3500 words. That’s longer than 2 of the full fics in TVG, but I just started writing and couldn’t stop. without further ado, enjoy:

Truth be told, the only reason Wade looked the kid up on Instagram in the first place was because he needed to figure out where he’d be and when to prevent him from getting assassinated, but even after the hitman situation was dealt with he found himself checking the kid’s profile every now and then.

Peter posts pretty frequently, but when he does it isn’t like there’s any sort of strongly curated theme. He doesn’t just post aesthetically pleasing pictures of coffee and designer clothes—he posts what’s going on in his life.

There’s a picture taken from a hospital bed in Avenger’s Tower. There’s a picture of a cool looking pigeon. There are multiple pictures of cute dogs he passed on the street and some dumb selfies with his friends. The thing is, those aren’t the ones that catch Wade’s eye.

The ones that catch his eye are the off-guard ones of the tall girl he hangs out with. The pictures of the city that had to have been taken while the kid was webbing his way around the city. A shot of the kid’s aunt (she’s his aunt? Is she old enough for that?) drinking coffee and sitting on the fire escape. Peter has quite the eye for what makes a good picture, but it’s obvious he doesn’t have anything to take pictures on other than his phone that’s quite a few generations out of date.

Wade has money. Granted, he’s been known to spend it all on plastique explosives so that he can build himself a throne out of them, but right now he has money. He’s also spent a lot of his life being poor—both regular poor and power shut off in the winter, breaking up bits of furniture to burn in a grate in the floor so you don’t freeze to death poor—which is why he knows that the kid won’t accept a gift from him without a good reason. Peter hasn’t talked about being poor exactly, but Wade has heard some of his epic rants about how annoying it is that Stark is always throwing money at his problems and trying to give Peter a new phone or laptop because “this one still works just fine—why would I get rid of it?” That along with the way he hardly ever goes out anywhere (if his Instagram stories are anything to judge by) and wears the same worn but well taken care of clothes almost every time Wade sees him as a real person is enough context for him to get a grasp of the kid’s attitude. It helps that Matt mentioned the kid’s aunt is a nurse and the uncle is dead. Living in New York on a nurse’s salary with a kid? That can’t be easy on the old wallet.

It isn’t until he’s leaning out of Matt’s bedroom window so that he can smoke without bothering the guy that he finally thinks of a time the kid might accept a gift. Peter always says that he’s almost sixteen, but there haven’t been any sweet sixteen posts on his Instagram, meaning his birthday is still coming up. The only question is when.

Wade stubs the cigarette out on the brick outside Matt’s window before dropping the butt to the street.

“Hey, when’s the kid’s birthday?” he asks, turning to look at where Matt is lying on his stupid, wonderful silk sheets.

Matt raises his eyebrows. “Considering what your heart just did, that is not the question I was expecting.”

Wade snorts. “Very funny. Seriously though, do you know when it is?”

“August tenth,” Matt answers. “Why?”

Thank god—still a week or so out. “Cause I wanted to get him something. Sixteen is a big deal and all.”

“That’s true,” Matt agrees, pulling himself up into a sitting position. “I’ve been trying to think of something to get him, but I’m not sure what he’d like.”

“I want to get him a camera—one of the really nice ones. You wanna go in together on it for him?” Wade offers.

“Sure—but why a camera?”

“If you could see his Instagram then you’d know,” Wade teases, and Matt snorts.

“Asshole. Well, I don’t know anything about cameras. Do you?” he asks, and shit, Wade doesn’t know anything about cameras.

Matt must be able to read that realization in his pulse or whatever, and the smirk it puts on his face is so incredibly annoying.

“Shut up,” Wade says.

“I didn’t say anything,” Matt replies with the smirk still on his face.

“Yeah, well you didn’t have to.”

Matt must take pity on him for once, because the smirk fades away to a much nicer smile. “Put your clothes back on and I’ll help you track down Jess and get her to tell us about cameras.”

“You really want me to put my clothes back on already?” Wade tries, because he is but a man and asshole-ish smirk or not, Matt’s got it goin’ on.

After a second of consideration Matt says, “No, I guess not.”

-----

“Okay, seriously, let’s go find Jess and get this figured out,” Matt says eventually as he’s doing up the buttons on his stupid fancy shirt.

Wade gets that matching clothes can be hard—but a suit every day has got to be some form of penance because no way in hell would anyone other than a Catholic willingly do that to themselves.

“Ugh, fine. Give my healing factor a second,” Wade groans.

Matt snorts and throws Wade’s shirt at him. “Don’t be a bitch. I’ve seen you walk off stab wounds quicker than that.”

“Haven’t seen anything,” Wade mutters under his breath, getting his pants thrown at him as well for his efforts.

Once they get down to the street looking like the world’s strangest yet most fitting couple (seriously, a horribly scarred guy and a blind guy—the perfect combination), Wade realizes that he’s the one blindly following after Matt.

“Hey, where are we going? Did you call Jess when I wasn’t looking?” he asks even though he highly doubts that’s the case. With Matt it’s almost always something stranger.

Wade’s hypothesis is proven once again as Matt shakes his head. “I know where she is.”

“… why do you know where she is?”

Matt shrugs. “We were hanging out last night and she mentioned she was getting lunch with her sister today around now. I know the general area she’ll be in, and I can find her from there.”

Freak.

“You’re so fucking weird,” Wade says, and Matt just smiles brightly at him.

He follows after Matt for another two blocks before the man stops abruptly and turns onto the next street then into a café that Wade doesn’t recall seeing the last time he was in this part of the city.

Matt heads straight for a table near the back, and Wade takes his arm so that it at least looks like the blind guy is the one being led.

“Jessica,” Matt says as they come to stand at the edge of a table tucked into a corner.

Jessica looks up from where she had been talking to a blonde lady who looks absolutely nothing like her yet still strangely familiar. Jess groans, and the blonde one just gapes at the two of them. Wade’s used to it, so he just waves at her. She looks embarrassed and immediately tears her eyes away from his face.

Jessica gives them a scrutinizing look and wrinkles up her nose. “Really? You couldn’t even bother taking a shower before you came and tracked me down?”

“We tried,” Wade replies, putting his arm around Matt’s waist and yanking him closer even if it does get him an elbow in the ribs. “We just got distracted.”

“Gross. What do you want?” she says, though she doesn’t actually sound all that grossed out.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends, Jess?” the blonde one asks, but it’s really very clearly a demand.

Jessica sighs. “They aren’t my friends, they’re a pain in my ass. The blind one’s Matt—my lawyer. You’ve met him once,” Matt smiles his charming smile in the blonde’s general direction. “The burn victim is Wade. Assholes, this is Trish. Now, tell me what you want.”

“We need to know about cameras,” Wade chimes in.

“What about them?” she asks.

“What’s a good one for someone who’s new to photography,” Matt asks.

“Sorry Murdock, but no matter how fancy a camera you buy, the pictures are still gonna come out blurry.”

Matt gives her a very flat look. “It’s for Peter. His birthday is coming up.”

Jessica’s demeanor softens a little bit at that, and it’s precious—not that Wade would ever say that out loud. But he’s noticed that at least he isn’t the only one who has a Peter-shaped soft spot in his heart.

“How much are you guys willing to spend?” she asks.

“I just took a job,” Wade says.

Jess nods in understanding. “Foreign or domestic?”

“It was in Brazil.”

“Ah, thought that one might’ve been you. Usually you’re more obvious though,” she says.

“This one called for subtlety. Made the paycheck higher, so I can’t complain too much.”

Trish looks like she’s just dying to ask what Wade’s job is, but she must be smart considering she doesn’t.

“Well, if money isn’t an issue, you can’t go wrong with a Sony Alpha A7 III. It’s around 2000, very beginner friendly, but if he has any trouble with it then I’ll be more than happy to show him how to get started with it,” Jess replies, taking out a pen from her pocket and scribbling something down on a napkin. “Get this lens with it—it shouldn’t be more than 500.”

“You’re a godsend,” Wade says, taking the napkin from her and blowing her a kiss.

Jessica rolls her eyes. “Save it for someone who’ll put out, Wilson.”

“Wonderful talking to you as always,” Matt says. “Nice to meet you properly, Trish.”

“You too,” Trish says with a smile.

Wade and Matt leave the restaurant and trek all the way up to the nearest Best Buy to get their hands on the camera and lens Jess recommended. The sales associate looks at them a bit strangely, and when he asks what they’re going to be using the camera for Matt somehow knows to slam his hand over Wade’s mouth and answer himself. Good choice; Wade’s answer would’ve been nudes.

“Do you know how to wrap presents?” Wade asks, looking at the boxes the camera and lens are in and then looking back to Matt to see the bitchiest look on his face.

“No, I don’t know how to wrap presents, Wade.”

“Well do you know anyone who knows how to wrap presents?”

“Yes,” Matt says with a defeated sigh.

-------

Half an hour later, Wade finds himself in a rundown apartment building with a two thousand dollar camera in a bag on one arm and a roll of Spider-Man wrapping paper from the dollar store with Matt standing beside him and knocking obnoxiously on the door.

“I know you’re in there, asshole,” Matt calls out, thumping his fist against the door again. “Stop calling me a bitch under your breath and say it to my face.”

“You’re a bitch,” comes a response that’s loud enough for Wade and his sad, normal hearing to pick up.

“To my face,” Matt repeats.

“I’ll shoot you!” the voice calls back.

“That’s a lie!” Matt says.

There’s silence for a moment followed by the sound of heavy footsteps and the door opening.

“What the hell do you two clowns want?” Frank asks, pinching the bridge of his nose much like a put-out parent.

“We need help wrapping a present for Peter’s birthday,” Matt says.

Frank looks like he just might shoot them both. “And why the hell did you decide to come to me for that?”

“You were the nearest fully functional adult I could think of. Take it as a compliment. Help us wrap the present and we’ll put your name on the card too.”

Frank stares at them for a moment but eventually loses the stare-down with Matt and lets them in.

While wrapping the present, he interrogates them on their choice of gift. Once he gets an answer that he deems suitable for that, he moves on to giving them shit about the choice in wrapping paper. Then he gives Matt shit for something Hell’s Kitchen related that Wade has very little interest in.

“Are you two done flirting?” Wade asks when Matt and Frank are still talking long after the present’s been wrapped.

“Why? Eager to be alone with me again?” Matt shoots back.

Frank gags.

Matt punches him in the shoulder.

They leave after that, and it’s determined that Matt should be the one to keep the camera safe until Peter’s birthday. Wade gets to keep the definitely-not-officially-licensed Spider-Man wrapping paper though, so it’s a pretty fair trade.

----

Peter’s apparently got his hand full with a combination of school, his internship, and dealing with the lowlifes of Queens, so Wade doesn’t get a chance to see the kid—either as himself or his alter-ego in the next week. In fact, it isn’t until he’s scrolling aimlessly through Instagram that he sees a picture of a poorly-made cake on the kid’s story and realizes that it’s the tenth. One frantic flurry of text messages to Matt later, he confirms that Matt hasn’t had the chance to see the kid either thanks to being up to his non-functional eyeballs in lawyer work for the entire week.

Matt isn’t a fan of texting, so he elects to call Wade instead of suffering through any more grammatical errors and excessive punctuation.

“Should we bring it to him tonight?” Matt asks.

“I mean, it’s his birthday. I doubt he’s going out as Spider-Man on his sweet sixteen,” Wade points out. “Come on orphan, at least pretend you have a functional knowledge of childhood milestones.”

“I’m flipping you off right now,” Matt says.

“Glad to hear it—wait, he just added to his story again.” Wade taps on the gradient circle surrounding Peter’s profile picture and sees a short video of the kid, his aunt, and the two friends he’s always with at a restaurant. Wade’s pretty sure he actually knows that restaurant, and that’s confirmed when he checks Peter’s location on Snapchat. “He’s like, six blocks from your place. Carmine’s—you ever been there?”

“Ugh—yes. Worst date of my life,” Matt replies, and Wade makes note of that comment so he can wheedle out all the wonderful, cringeworthy details at a later date.

“Great, meet me there. Don’t forget the camera.”

“Don’t forget the card,” Matt shoots back before the line goes dead.

Wade won’t forget the card. He put way too much effort into the card to forget it—including hand-done illustrations and glitter. Rather than bother Dopinder or, god forbid, take the subway, Wade just gets an Uber and talks the poor driver’s ear off the whole way there.

When they pull up outside, Wade sees Matt standing casually outside the restaurant and the driver is more than happy to have the weird, rambling burn victim out of his car.

“Matthew!” Wade calls, pulling Matt into a half hug. “You’re here!”

“Of course I’m here, dumbass,” Matt replies in that charming way of his. “Peter and his people are still inside—let’s go give him the present. Oh, by the way, his aunt thinks I’m his Spanish tutor, and I don’t think either of his friends know who I am either. Let’s keep it that way.”

“Um, well, his friends definitely know who I am, so how are we gonna explain how Deadpool knows his Spanish tutor?” Wade says, and god bless poor Matt for having to keep all these different stories in order. Super-secret identities are a bitch.

“I’m Daredevil’s lawyer, I met you through him,” Matt answers.

“Wow, you had that one prepared. Have to use it a lot?”

“More often than you’d think. Come on, it smells like sewage out here,” Matt says, putting his free arm through Wade’s and dragging him towards the restaurant.

Even with Wade on his arm, Matt still manages to charm the maître d’ into escorting them to the Parker’s table.

“Hey, kiddo!” Wade says, loud enough to get the attention of everyone at the table, but not so loud as to draw unwanted attention. Contrary to popular belief, he can manage some sort of subtlety on occasion. “Thought you could ditch out on us on your birthday?”

Peter looks shocked at first and then pleasantly surprised by the two of them. That adorable smile spreads across his face, quite the contrast to the unreadable look on the girl’s face and the awed one on Ned’s. Peter’s aunt is doing a pretty good job of not staring at his general appearance, so props to her.

“Wade—Matt, hi!” Peter says. “What’re you guys doing here?”

“Wishing you a happy birthday. And giving you a reminder—what did I tell you about Snap Maps the first night we met?” Wade says.

“Hitman’s best friend, I know, Wade. You’re one of, like, six people who can see where I am,” Peter answers in a very exasperated ‘yes, dad’ sort of way.

Wade is touched by that, and he puts his hand over his heart.

“Hi, Matt. It’s good to see you again,” the kid’s aunt says with a smile that Matt can get from any woman on the planet. “And Wade, was it? I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you before,” she adds on with a very deliberate look at Peter.

“Pleasure’s all mine,” Wade says. “I’m a friend of Peter’s. From work.”

May’s eyebrows shoot to her hairline and she gives Peter another look.

“Um,” Peter says, looking over at Wade who gives him a big ole thumbs up. “Deadpool,” he whispers to his aunt.

She looks shocked, and Wade speaks up to fill the silence.

“Anyway, sorry DD couldn’t be here, but you know how much of a bitch he is about his stupid secret identity. He sent his lawyer to serve as a proxy. We come bearing gift.”

Matt sets the nicely wrapped gift onto the table. “Courtesy of my clients.”

Wade sets the card on top of the box and pushes both towards Peter.

Peter picks the card up off of the box and admires Wade’s doodles on the front of it before opening it up to read what Wade wrote inside.

Hey kid, happy birthday! You might be sixteen, but I’m sure we’ve all stressed you out to the point your heart is in its mid forties. We might be a bunch of dysfunctional alcoholics with the emotional maturity of thirteen year olds, but here’s hoping you’ll be the first of us to break that cycle. With so many examples of what not to do, how hard can it be? Anyway, we’re proud of you for sticking (ha! Get it?) with us. I like to think I’m pretty observant, so I think you’ll be able to put this gift to good use. You can thank Jess for lending her experience in the area to DD and me, and Frank for being the only adult we know who can wrap presents.

Happy birthday, webhead.

–Wade, DD, Jess, and last but not least Frank.

Peter smiles up at Wade after reading the card. “Thanks, Wade, and tell DD thanks too. And Ms. Jones, and Mr. Castle.”

“I’ll be sure to pass it along,” Matt says with a smile of his own.

Peter sets the card aside very carefully before taking care in opening the package. As soon as he sees the box, the kid just gapes up at Wade.

“This is too much,” he says, and Wade is reassured in his choice of waiting for a special occasion to give the gift.

“Baby-child, there’s nothing I’d rather do with my paycheck from murdering a druglord and burning down his empire than get you something you’ll undoubtedly put to good use,” Wade replies, earning himself a rather horrified look from the kid’s poor aunt.

Rather than being disturbed by Wade’s declaration, Peter gets up from his place at the table and flings himself into Wade to hug him.

“Thank you,” Peter mumbles where his face is smushed up against Wade’s chest.

Wade smiles down at him.

“You’re welcome, kid.”

[detectivehole]

Go comic feral, i followed this blog for a rEASOn and it's bc i like to hear your random vents and rants and also you reblog cool stuff. But i digress, go comic feral i am hERE for it

fine

PETER PARKER BEING RICH IS STUPID  he didnt even ern what he has himself it was nt even himn he wasnt in his body maybe if i had got to see him start fron nothing to being a cool ceo or whatever id be able to stand it but nooooooo he just GOT is for nothing so it feels stupid like “ha ha what if like tony stark haha” its DUMB and i haven’t read a spider man comic for a long time

deadpool/spiderman crossover comic bad. feels out of character a lot. funny concept and full of funny jokes but as far as characterization its bad in my opinion- was made to capitalize off the hype of the ship and we all know it

don cates should be banned from writing comics bc he fucking sucks and ill never forgive him for what he did/tried to do to venom

deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good dea

the venom movie was a lot of fun but it was very ooc a lot HOWEVER seeing some of the cut scenes and scripts you can see that it used to be actually fairly in character for the comics but a lot of scenes with eddie establishing himself as not actually the most nicest of guys (not that eddie isnt a nice guy deep down but he is a good amount fucked up with a big ol hero complex and a problem with ‘i can do no wrong” mentality sometimes) were cut and considering how the fandom for the movie treats him i can see why the cut those bits out bc i dont think movie goers would have liked him as much wich is a shame bc he is a good guy at the end of the day just fucked up

straight white male comic fans are the worst people in the world and breaking their fingers is a daydream i indulge in 

matt murdock is a himbo

foggy nelson is a good man who deserves better friends

i can tell what deadpool comics someone has read based on how they characterize wade in their fan works and i have a 80% success rate with it. the most common was the daniel way run but now its the spider-man/deadpool crossover series

soulda used miles for the mcu spidey instead of cannibalizing his story for parts like they did. dick move, Disney

mcu bad

i think just the idea of dc’s Red Tool is fucking hilarious but i dont like his character at all

batman and superman should fuck but they wont :/

matt and foggy should to but the comic industry is afraid of making long running characters lgbt bc theyre WEAK

deadpool need a canon bf they cant keep telling us hes pan and not showing us for reals- hell he could just go on one date or be shown having a one night stand or something- something beyond a damn joke

cable gay. no i will not listen to any other opinions.

im excited to read moon knight i have a book waiting i just have to finish my current one

SCUD the disposable assassin is the most underrated comic EVER and i LOVE IT however i think it ended stupid and bad however it went on fucking hiatus for like a decade and then was rapped up really fast so any ending is a godsend

i desperately want a long-form stand alone series abt wanda wilson bc shes the perfect foil for a good Feral Dumbass Woman comic. think abt it; shell sell immediately bc of recognizable brand, and then she can just go on violent stupid adventures without any of the other dp corps. it doenst have to line up with any canon i just want insane lady dp adventure comic. this is an unreasonable dream but mine none the less

i though that agent venom was stupid

tank girl is fucking amazing and i love it i never understand whats going on and i enjoy the confusion

reading early hulk comics feels like watching a weird, poorly produced old black and white sci-fi soap

there needs to be better, more easily accessed, official reading-order guides published and posted on the walls of comic shops everywhere

the 80s and 90s were the best time for marvel comics and no one can tell me otherwise. that was peak comic time

the worst time for comics was the 2000s and early 2010s

sometimes i am shocked by the art that gets the editors pass in comics. some of it is so bad and im not even talking about the disproportionate ladies

the lego marvel and dc movies are way better than the live action movies and im not even being sarcastic

seriously the 2000s made some horrible comics

i feel like committing acts of mass violence every time someone says comics arnt real reading/stories/implies theyre worth less of any value than a novel

i read the first deadpool comic i got so much that the art itself is so ingrained in my mind that people have shown my just the corners of panels and ive identified them correctly

i distinctly remember the first time the woman at the book store stopped asking me for parental permission to buy the comics i was getting (12yos) because i went there so often that she just remembered who i was and that the adult would say its fine

i refuse to talk about comics with people at cons because i am gatekept or flirted with every single time no matter what and there is no in between. and yea its because i have tits. youd think that eventually theyd learn but gross comic men never do and all the others have adopted the same policy as me so the closest i come to positive comic interaction at cons is standing in the same vicinity as another chick, looking at the same section, and the kinda smiling at each other

i think the avengers are boring. really really boring. the x-men are way better

i related to gwenpool too much when she first started and it scared/offended me so i stopped reading for a while until her character developed more and we stooped being so similar

i have spider-man bedding. i picked it out only a few months ago. its good it makes me feel cool in a very uncool way

watching spider-man as a kid made me wanna be a scientist. watching batman as a kid made me want to do martial arts. i ended up failing chemistry and falling on my face a lot instead.

i had a huge venom toy and a huge spiderman toy as a kid and while i did make them fight a lot i also made them hug just as much. i wanted them to be friends

on that note PETER IS MEAN TO THE SYMBIOTE NOW AND HE DONT EVEN HAVE A REASON NO MORE hes just such a dick about criminal reform eddie and the symbiote aint special with this- he says he believes people can be better but he really doesnt show it. he tends to think people are set in their ways and while this makes sense forthe most part considering how much hewas bullied as a kid/adult (that also contributes to his mild “i protect my own” mentality  tho at least he consciously fights that one) it stil pisses me off

i can think way more but i need to sleep i think

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1156

Monday, March 20, 2017

 It's the first day of spring but you would still think it's the dead of winter here in Ottawa. I hear it snowed in Vancouver recently too. I don't consider spring starting until I can't see anymore snow on the ground around our neighbourhood. I figure that will be the middle of April this year. I've already seen a robin at our house though. We put up a bird feeder last fall and it attracts many birds. Mostly house sparrows but we see finches, juncos, nuthatches, chickadee-dee-dees and our favourites the cardinals and woodpeckers. The male cardinals are bright red-orange and the females are a mocha coffee colour. We have had downy, hairy and pileated woodpeckers come and feed. Watching the birds outside our window is like watching fish swim around an aquarium. Very calming. Until the undesirables show up. Starlings and squirrels snark up a lot of feed and scare away the little birdies. The squirrels have gotten so brazen now that I have to go outside to shoo them off the feeder. I used to be able to do that just by banging on the window. Stupid squirrels.

 We lost one of the greatest comic book artists on March 18 when Bernie Wrightson succumbed to cancer and passed away. I have always been a bigger fan of the art side of our hobby and Bernie's art gave me goosebumps. His pen and ink work was stunning. Rest in peace Mr. Wrightson.

 Punisher #10 - Becky Cloonan (writer) Matt Horak (art) Frank Martin with Guru-eFX (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). I'm disappointed in Matt. This whole issue takes place at a sea port in Newfoundland and he didn't put one Canadian flag in any of the panels. Even a little one would have been nice. It looks like another dire situation for Frank but the bad guys screwed themselves. You'll see the obvious giveaway, but maybe I'm wrong.

 Uncanny Avengers #21 - Gerry Duggan (writer) Kevin Libranda (art) Dono Sanchez Almara with Protobunker (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). If there's a fill-in artist who makes me just as happy to read this book as when regular artist Pepe Larraz draws it, then it's Kevin Libranda. I liked how Deadpool found a way to defeat the Red Skull's Professor X powers. I wonder if they're going to bring back old Charles.

 Batman #19 - Tom King (writer) David Finch (pencils) Danny Miki, Trevor Scott & Sandra Hope (inks) Jordie Bellaire (colours) Deron Bennett (letters). The art in this issue is pretty awesome. Part 4 of "I Am Bane" has the big bad guy wading through Batman's rogues gallery one by one. Almost every Bat villain you can think of get's his licks in. odd that there are no women. I was also bothered by the fact that they're all loose inside Arkham asylum. How are they going to be get back in custody? The last page leads into the inevitable final battle between Bane and Batman and I want to see who wins. Like I couldn't guess.

 American Gods #1 - Neil Gaiman (writer) P. Craig Russell (script & layouts) Scott Hampton (art) Rick Parker (letters). I started a list of books I want to read after the Snail closed because I found myself with a lot of extra time. American Gods by Neil Gaiman is on that list. I've been told what the premise of the book is so I had a bit of background going into reading this first issue of the comic book adaptation. Reading the comic book is going to enhance my reading of the novel when I get around to it because I will visualize Scott's depictions of the characters in my head and they are very nice ones. The back-up story "Somewhere in America" by P. Craig Russell (script & art) and Lovern Kindzierski (colours) was a hot piece of erotica about unsafe sex. This gets added to my "must read" list.

 Totally Awesome Hulk #17 - Greg Pak (writer) Mahmud Asrar (art) Nolan Woodard (colours) Cory Petit (letters). This hasn't been a solo book for the last few issues with Amadeus hanging out with his friends but I am still enjoying it. This issue is a good place to start as the team has to figure out a way to save themselves and some civilians from being eaten by aliens. You could call these guys the Asian Avengers because what happens in this issue gives them something to avenge. If you jump on here you won't want to jump off until you read the next issue.

 Batwoman #1 - Marguerite Bennett & James Tynion IV (writers) Steve Epting (art) Jeromy Cox (colours) Deron Bennett (letters). Kate chases after a mystery woman from her past after dealing with a terrorist in Istanbul. I like how she's teamed up with Julia Pennyworth.

 Kill or be Killed #7 - Ed Brubaker (writer) Sean Phillips (art) Elizabeth Breitweiser (colours). This issue features Dylan's ex-girlfriend Kira, now with purple hair instead of red. I'm glad she's still hanging around because boy does she have problems. We start off during a session with her therapist and get a lot of background. I love this kind of stuff because it makes the characters more engaging. Kira might need an emergency session after she decides to do something stupid at Dylan's place.

 Monsters Unleashed #5 - Cullen Bunn (writer) Adam Kubert (art) David Curiel & Michael Garland (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). Okay, Kid Kaiju comes through to save the world from the Leviathon Mother, showing up all the Marvel super heroes. I guess that's why he's getting his own book. Look for it to hit the racks on April 19. Unless it's drawn by an artist that I really like I will take a pass. The Kid's creations are more suited to fans of action figures or Saturday morning cartoons than an old coot like me.

 Super Sons #2 - Peter J. Tomasi (writer) Jorge Jimenez (art) Alejandro Sanchez (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). This is great. I don't know why but I love really well written comics about young super heroes like this and Champions. Maybe it's because I can't let go of being a kid. Damian and Jonathan have to deal with Super Lex in order to get a lead on Kid Amazo, the very bad boy they're after. Everything doesn't go smoothly and then, uh-oh, their dads find out about what they're doing. I can't wait to see what happens next.

 Wild Storm #2 - Warren Ellis (writer) John Davis-Hunt (art) Steve Buccellato (colours) Simon Bowland (letters). This 24 issue series is very ambitious and there are a lot of players involved. If I was a new reader I would be wondering who are these people? Some people work for International Operations (IO) and some people work for Halo. The two organisations don't like each other and they're both after Angela Spica, the Engineer. I hope that helps with getting into this story. One of my favourite things from the old series was the Door which could transport people to different places. I think we're introduced to a new Door this issue and she's a lot better looking than Lockjaw.

 Ms. Marvel #16 - G. Willow Wilson (writer) Takeshi Miyazawa (art) Ian Herring (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). I like this story about a malevolent computer virus and it looks like Kamala can't defeat it. That is until she gets a clue from her old pal Bruno. I can't wait to find out how Doc.x gets deleted.

 Superman #19 - Peter J. Tomasi & Patrick Gleason (writers) Patrick Gleason (pencils) Mick Gray (inks) John Kalisz (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). Part 3 of "Superman Reborn" looks like it might resurrect the pre-New 52 Lois and Clark. I hope not. That would confuse me to no end and then I would get annoyed and stop reading these amazing Superman books. Patrick draws the creepiest Mr. Mxyzptlk ever. I wonder if they're going to do the saying the imp's name backwards thing?

 Guardians of the Galaxy #18 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Valerio Schiti (art) Richard Isanove (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). I love these issues featuring one team member. Angela's up this time around and it's a beautifully drawn fight scene between her and some alien bounty hunter. The issue ends with a major threat heading for Earth. It starts with Th and rhymes with anus.

 Spider-Man #14 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Sara Pichelli (art) Justin Ponsor (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Nothing serious between Miles and Gwen despite what the cover shows. This is one of those issues that annoy Bendis detractors because nothing really happens. The heroes hop from one dimension to another and each wind up in different ones by the end of this issue. I can easily forgive because of Sara's art.

 Mighty Thor #17 - Jason Aaron (writer) Russell Dauterman (art) Matthew Wilson (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). The gods of Asgard and the Imperial Guard of the Shi'Ar finally come to blows in part 3 of "The Asgard/Shi'Ar War". Meanwhile Thor can't seem to win much in the challenge of the gads against the Shi'Ar gods Sharra and K'ythri. Mjolnir is sure getting a workout though. This book is not only chock full of action but it's visually stunning as well.

 Amazing Spider-Man #25 - Dan Slott (writer) Stuart Immonen (pencils) Wade von Grawbadger (inks) Marte Gracia (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). I wish you didn't have to pay $9.99 US for this one issue starting off "The Osborn Identity" story. That's a bit much for one comic book don't you think? Sure you get a bunch of back-up stories but none of those really matter to the main story. You do get 40 pages of Stuart and Wade goodness though, so why couldn't they have printed just that and charged $4.99 US? As you can probably tell Norman Osborn is back so the Green Goblin can't be far behind. I did like the team-up with Mockingbird with a hint of Peter and Bobbi possibly becoming more than friends. Here are the other stories that pad this issue. A fight with Clash by Christos Gage (writer) Todd Nauck (art) Rachelle Rosenberg (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters) which has the old "it's not what you think" twist at the end. A silly Tsum-Tsum story for the younger readers by Jacob Chabot (writer) Ray-Anthony Height (pencils) Walden Wong (inks) Jim Campbell (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Thank Thor that was a blessedly short 6 pages. A Parker Industries mishap at their Shanghai facility by James Asmus (writer) Tana Ford (art) Andres Mossa (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). A young Spider-Man story about a boy and his dog by Hannah Blumenreich (writer & pencils) Jordan Gibson (inks) Jordie Bellaire (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Some Aunt May gags by Cale Atkinson which were even sillier than the Tsum-Tsum story. And finally to ease the pain of having to buy an overpriced comic book, the return of another Spider-Man nemesis. One thing that "The Clone Conspiracy" did was bring back Otto Octavius, Doc Ock. He now has a youthful body thanks to Miles Warren's cloning process. So meet The Superior Octopus by Dan Slott (writer) Giuseppe Camuncoli (pencils) Cam Smith (inks) Jason Keith (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). He's bad-ass now plus he's got Hydra backing. Here's a prediction: Somewhere in the future Peter and Norman have to team up to fight Otto and Hydra.

 Archie #18 - Mark Waid (writer) Pete Woods (art & colours) Jack Morelli (letters). This issue proves that love is blind. Archie and Veronica have nothing in common and should not be together. Betty and Dilton Doiley are more compatible. I wish I was Dilton Doiley.