Katara goes off to help those in need, but in doing good, something happens. Fire Lord Zuko desperately tries to find her for a year but nothing has come up from it.
That is until a dream suddenly gives him either a vision or false hope.
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
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Obsessed with the sudden shift in Cas' willingness to say insane romantic shit to dean in season 8. A couple of seasons ago, he would tell dean that they had a profound bond to his face. That everything he did, he did for Dean. Now? He's hesitating. He clenches his fists to avoid hugging Dean back in purgatory. He stutters and looks away before saying he stayed away from Dean to protect him. When asked what broke through heaven's brainwashing, he looks away and says he doesn't know. It's so interesting to me
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random pre-school mom: you are such a good dad, picking your son up from school so often
percy: well, my wife and i switch off depending on our schedules. she’s here the other half of the time
random pre-school mom: that’s so generous of you!
percy, confused: uh, why? i’m his dad
random pre-school mom: it’s just so selfless! oh and your little boy is absolutely adorable. he’s the most precious thing i’ve ever seen!
percy: thanks, he looks a lot like his mom
random pre-school mom: but clearly those eyes come from you
percy: well, yeah. i mean, i am his dad
random pre-school mom, flustered: um, well, are you coming to parents night? i can show you around so you know where to go?
percy: my wife and i will be there, and we’ll figure it out. thanks though
random pre-school mom: *weird fake smiling*
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Getting on my minor political + mindful soapbox for the day to say that accelerationism is tempting - especially to those who are struggling with their mental health - because accelerationist ideals often borderline on, if not blatantly cross into, the suicidal and that's a deeply horrific and dangerous thing.
If you're finding yourself drawn to political philosophies that rely on the idea that things have to get worse before they get better - especially if they encourage martyrdom or don't really seem to have an idea of what the "get better" part looks like despite having a clear idea of what the "get worse" part looks like - check in with yourself. Are you doing okay? If you're in a position to - it'd probably be best to revisit the political thought after taking a moment to ground yourself.
Don't get sucked into political cult-like ideologies that prey on the mental health struggles of desperate marginalized people. We can do better.
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