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ghostytoad · 5 days ago

Note

Can I request rottmnt x villain reader were they taking this as a joke they play around and take nothing seriously but they are brilliant and they steel thing that from the hardest place to get in and after a week she returned it with a little note on it that says two easy :)

And they love to annoy the rottmnt

And love what you're doing it good

Getting back into it! Got plenty of requests to catch up on so expect a spam...

All's Fair in...

ROTTMNT Boys x GN! Theatrical Villain with dubious motives and a playful streak

Summary: The Hamato brothers deal with a supervillain with dramatic flair and a penchant for games.

Headcanons for: Mikey, Leo, Donnie, and Raph

GN! Reader; Romantic; Fluff || Words: 1.8k

Mikey:

He is instantly captivated. He’s wide-eyed the moment they somersault onto the scene with a dramatic entrance and an evil laugh. “DUUUDE. She’s like a real-life anime villain!!”

Even if they're not subtle with their misdeeds, Mikey won't write them off as completely evil. He'll take Y/N's constant games as irrefutable evidence that they're not bad, they just need a nudge in the right direction.

Just like with Baron Draxum, Meatsweats, and Cassandra, Mikey will NOT give up on Y/N. Even if it takes the rest of his life, he WILL get them to change! Or at the very least steal less...

He isn't one to judge and no matter the crime, he's quick to find some justification behind it. It annoys his brothers to no end just how often he'll make excuses for Y/N's antics.

"See? They even returned it! Does that scream 'Evil Villain' to you?"

No one is convinced...

Won't admit it out loud, but he secretly looks forward to facing off with Y/N. Treats it as much of a game as they do. No consequences, just good ol' fun!

He might even leave a few notes of his own hidden around where the brothers might be expecting Y/N to next.

He'll leave them inspirational quotes like "Every day is a new opportunity!" or "Someone somewhere cares about you!"

Might even leave a few sketches he's made of them scattered around for them to find. He considers it an olive branch of sorts.

Oh yeah... He's sketched them more often than he cares to admit. He even has their name graffitied into his sketchbook... They may or may not have received a few of these in the mail from an anonymous 'fan'.

He definitely fangirls if Y/N manages to pull off a particularly difficult heist. Like he's secretly rooting for them. And honestly, he kinda is.

The way he sees it, as long as no one's really getting hurt, what's the harm?

He might even compliment their tastes or gush over their 'ingenious plan' during battles.

He might as well consider himself Y/N's number one fan. Everyone else can see just how hard he's pining for them, but he insists it's just admiration! "Can't a guy swoon over a few well-placed traps?"

Unfortunately, he does get a bit distracted as a result of their captivating banter. And Y/N gets away. Every. Single. Time.

He bites the bullet one day and decides to send them a long and rambling love letter about how amazing their last escape was and if he could get their autograph and maybe a lock of their hair.

Leo:

A villain with theatrical flair? Oh, Leo is all FOR IT.

Every fight turns into a back-and-forth exchange of sass and innuendo. It's non-stop flirting the whole time. The rest of the team groans.

“Can you two not flirt mid-battle?!” "Or get a room, for the love of god!"

He's definitely on board with their little games. Listens to every dramatic monologue with keen interest. He's legitimately invested in their maniacal schemes.

Especially considering that Y/N never takes things too seriously. What's the point of villainy if they're not allowed to have a little fun? And it's not like anyone's actually getting hurt.

Obviously, he's not too keen on the whole 'criminal' aspect, but eh, he can let that slide. Who hasn't stolen a few trinkets? If it weren't for his brothers, Leo would definitely be going along with their villainy.

Besides, with banter this good, who can resist? It's like they were tailor made for each other!

"Fancy seeing you here again, Y/N. Can't blame ya, I am a work of art after all~"

He LIVES for the fun banter, the dramatic exits, it just screams classic villain vs. hero. Plus, it gives him a chance to show off his rad skills. Who doesn't love an audience?

Fair warning, though, he is not one to be outdone and will play things up to an obnoxious degree. Leo will make it his life mission to one-up Y/N in showmanship, to out-wit them with his killer one-liners, to be the guy that gets the last laugh.

So what if they get away? The gang can always catch them later. He won't admit that he's really only using that as an excuse for more battles.

He has gotten in trouble for letting them walk free because he just makes it SO. OBVIOUS.

"Same time next week, gorgeous?" "LEO! THEY ARE RIGHT THERE!"

Pretends he’s unaffected by their charm, but he’s so into them. Every time they escape, he paces the rooftop like a lovesick fool. Donnie's caught him monologuing to himself a time or two, the dork.

Would never try to change Y/N's villainy ways, that's more of Mikey's thing. If it's not broke, why fix it? And he definitely enables their schemes. He might even throw in a few suggestions here and there.

"You call that an escape? Leave this to the pros. Allow moi." He literally portals them out of there.

The taunting notes might get under his skin if they hit a little too close to home, but for the most part, he likes to think of them as a challenge. And Leo's never one to back down from a challenge!

Eventually confesses in the middle of a duel. It comes out of the blue (pun intended) too. But it's subtle enough that it doesn't register until well after the battle. “Y’know what? I like you, sparkle-bomb. Even if you’re the biggest headache I’ve ever had.”

Donnie:

Starting out? Utter disdain. Aggravation, frustration, humiliation. Y/N's games are the bane of Donnie's existence. Their villainy has earned them a top spot on Donnie's hit list (not an assassination list, just a list of people he wants to hit).

Each heist, each failed mission, every little note is a blow to his pride. He takes every note as a taunt and those taunts haunt his every nightmare. He will absolutely lose sleep over Y/N and not in a good way.

Eventually, he learns to tolerate them. After all, their schemes are pretty impressive, even if he isn't too fond of their motives. Especially when it comes to the higher-risk missions. There's a small level of begrudging respect there.

The one thing he absolutely CANNOT get over is their devil-may-care attitude or how casually they just go around wreaking havoc. Reminds him a little too much of Leonardo and he's not exactly a fan.

“A competent villain is not all that special. Their calculations are sloppy. Their logic is flawed. Their outfit has—ugh. Fantastic layering!"

Won't ever for the life of him say that they're a better... well, anything than him (definitely his pride talking), but he starts reverse-engineering their confiscated tech after every fight. He spitefully disassembles their gadgets just to put them back together better.

Sends them back in mystery boxes just so he can brag about the new improvements he's made and definitely not to hear their praise.

Donnie hacked their communicator once just to prove he could. They responded by hacking into his lab and leaving a flirty voice note. He hasn’t deleted it.

He may or may not have sample-mixed their recordings to mess around with when he thinks no one's around. Mixes it up to say things like "You have bested me once again, Othello von Ryan! You truly are the superior one!".

They hack each other’s comms to send snarky messages. Y/N's are usually flirty. His are annoyed... mostly. Talks to them under various aliases. They figure out it’s him after, like, two messages.

“Donatello, darling, I’d know your neurotic typing pattern anywhere.”

They’ve fought entirely in binary code over encrypted signals. None of the brothers know what they’re saying. Mikey suspects it’s dirty.

Thinks about Y/N at the most inconvenient times. In the lab, during training, mid-sentence—suddenly they're there in his head with a smirk and a bad pun. It INFURIATES him.

Y/N definitely plays into his weaknesses by complimenting him or offering him praise mid-battle. And we all know how susceptible Donnie is to praise.

“Only someone truly brilliant could hack the city grid like that~” “Well, I—I mean, it’s basic physics and hacking theory but—ugh, stop looking at me like that.”

Raph:

Raph doesn't have the same appreciation for Y/N's dramatic flair as his brothers. In fact, he's suspicious as hell.

“They're too loud. Too showy. That ain’t normal.” He's constantly glaring at them like they just kicked his dog.

He hates how cool Y/N is in front of his brothers. They'll swing in, blow something up, strike a pose, and call him “Red Hot.” Leo’s wheezing. Mikey’s making kissy faces. Raph is about to throw a car.

Every time they call him a cutesy nickname mid-battle, he physically reacts. “Big guy.” “Muscles.” “My darling devastation~” Cue involuntary neck flex, eye twitch, and beet-red cheeks. Every. Single. Time.

Raphael has always been a big fan of martial arts and Y/N's form is no exception. Lowkey memorizes their fighting style. Not to beat them (okay maybe a little), but because he likes watching them move—graceful, bold, impossible to ignore. It’s art, even if it makes him flustered.

Wants to hate Y/N. Tells himself they're ridiculous, unserious, and a total distraction... but when they're not around, everything feels quieter. Boring. Empty.

Despite being on different sides of the battle, he would absolutely save them during a mission gone wrong. He says it’s “just so they can face us fair next time.”. Everyone can see right through that silly little excuse.

Eventually admits he respects their strength and wit. Even if they're annoying. He likes someone who can throw him across a rooftop and laugh while doing it.

He secretly trains harder after every encounter.

He won’t say it out loud, but part of him wants to impress Y/N—not just protect his brothers. He knows they're dangerous, but damn if he doesn’t want to keep up with them.

He always growls when they escape but never chases them as hard as he could. “One of these days, I’m gonna catch Y/N.” But he’s lying to himself. He lets them go every time.

If they ever flirt with someone else to get under his skin? Oh boy. The look he gives is pure murder—and the second they’re alone, he corners them like “You wanna explain what the hell that was?”

Y/N likes to pretend they have no idea what they're talking about. And ooh, does it ever piss the hell out of him.

Like his brothers, though, he isn't too against the idea of redemption. Hell, if it worked with Baron and Cassandra, Y/N would definitely be a candidate for change.

He would try to give them a second chance if they ever got seriously hurt or turned against a greater threat. “You’re still a pain, but... you don’t gotta do this alone.”

#toady talks #toad talks #toady writes #ask #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt raph #rottmnt Leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt x you #rottmnt x y/n #rottmnt x oc #tmnt x y/n #tmnt x reader #tmnt x you #rottmnt headcanons #headcanons #x reader #request

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bulbabutt · 10 months ago

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okay. lets bite the bullet and talk about 2012. lets talk about child abuse, familial abuse, generational abuse, toxic family units, whatever you wanna call it. lets talk about it and whether it exists in this show. i actually encourage you to read this no matter what your take is, just to hear it out. let me be FUCKING clear: i love this show, but i get scared to talk about it seriously. everyone on every side is defensive all the time but i love every turtles show to no end.

this post is going to go over so well and not controversially at all.

precursor: every splinter is some level of shitty dad. he always has been. the fucking bare bones of the character is that he raised his children to kill the man who killed his own father. thats inherently fucked up. every splinter has some level of fucked up about him. maybe hes inattentive, or neglectful, or strict, or secretive, maybe hes just not very good at dealing with his kids. splinter is supposed to be far from perfect. thats what makes him splinter. maybe he grows over the course of a series, maybe he doesnt. maybe hes supposed to be shitty his whole life, maybe hes not. thats just splinter. each is adapted differently depending on the story being told.

and 2012 has a very interesting tone to its story.

lets start at the beginning, back in japan. this is season 3, was this story what they intended when they started writing the show back in season 1? probably not, theres probably things they would have written differently had they known this was where splinter's story started. thats kind of the way tv works, you add the details later. but for our sake of analyzing the character of splinter as a whole, it seems best to start here as if its all intentional.

hamato yoshi is a member of the hamato clan. theyre a very traditional old ninja clan in the modern world, they have old feuds and theyre trying to keep their culture alive. they're literally the last of a clan of ninjas like this, having (supposedly) defeated the foot clan (their generational enemies) back when yoshi was a baby. hes set out to lead next, and its very important to him. and yet hes married to a woman who works in the city, a modern woman who doesnt live the life he does. she even moved to be with him. i feel the need to compare this to how men in the real world who want traditional wives never go for women who are willing to be their housewives, always try to break down the independent ones. splinter seems unconcerned with how his wife wants to live. with how she wants their daughter to be raised.

im not necessarily saying this is how this comes off in the show, but i find it interesting to think about. this is absolutely the most rounded version of tang shen as a character (thus far) it stops her being just a name on a page "hamato yoshi's love and the object of his enemies affections who died" and turns her into a woman who has a stake in the story. gives her more agency.

its very interesting that this show implies an actual relationship between tang shen and oroku saki, albeit a one-sided one that didnt work out, but they do seem to have parted on equal ground. the pair of them discuss yoshi's inattentive duties as a husband and father, that he's too obsessed with the tradition and lineage of his clan. honestly, if this woman just took her baby and left no one would blame her! he has his priorities set, and it leaves no room for her and their newborn baby. if she ran away with saki at this point, the story would make just as much sense.

but then disaster strikes, saki learns the truth about his family, that he was actually a child of the foot clan (honestly i wish we saw this play out instead of jumping ahead in the story but thats not what this post is about) and he kills he and yoshi's father. revenge for him having killed his. cycles of abuse and revenge that never end. the pair of them were raised in this society that values lineage like this, that would kill for it. its no wonder they both grew up this way.

anyway, tang shen is killed by a blow meant for yoshi, and saki takes their child and raises her. based on splinter's lack of desire to be a father so far in the story, its honestly not one you can blame him for. its fucked up, but it makes sense. saki does to miwa exactly what his father did to him. cycles of abuse and revenge.

yoshi loses everything, and moves to america. he's turned into splinter the mutant rat, and gains four turtle sons.

so as established, he's not exactly grown up with a stable family life. he obviously, while human, wasnt acting as a stable father for the child he intended to have. so how good is he at this?

ive talked before about how the 2003 show treats the turtles as kind of one whole unit. they don't have individual relationship arcs, they dont have overarching storylines where they grow apart or closer, they're always in each other's corner.

2012 makes this more dynamic. here we see that 15 years seeing no one but each other, growing under this splinter has come with its own quirks. these brothers dont understand each other that well. they get jealous of each others treatment, some are left out, some are misunderstood. raph resents leo, none of them appreciate what donnie does, mikey bothers everyone else for attention, etc. it creates a really good starting place for this show.

(the issue i have with this show is more that they never really open or close any of these beats, at least not in ways that last. but boy does it make for some good dramatic scenes)

we see over the course of this first season that splinter treats his children just as he was, as little ninjas more so than sons. he raises them to follow his traditions, the ones tang shen never cared for. but this is all he knows how to be! you cant really blame him.

most people bring up mikey as the quintessential example when they talk about this, i dont want to do that cuz i know you've all heard it. while i think his father does disrespect him and i think it is paid forward and his brothers do too, i'd rather talk about raph for a change.

in one episode, raph loses his temper. to teach him a lesson, splinter makes his brothers pelt him in training while insulting him any way they can, and tells him to just... not lose his temper. this is a terrible lesson in general. instead of trying to coax out why he might be angry, it just plays up that if he loses his temper bad things happen.

splinter in this episode basically encourages bullying. this comes up a lot when it comes to raph. to compare, in 2003 when raph loses his temper, hes told to blow off steam which he does. his brothers don't blame him for having emotional outbursts, they know thats just how he is so they know how he needs to cope with it. he's given the physical space to let it out.

im not saying this show needs to be like that show, im just saying thats a version of this story where the outcome is better for raph as a whole. since this outcome is not as good for him emotionally, you can tell why he's still got these emotional issues. splinter never helps him more than that. thats more why this raph differs from that one, if that makes sense. one has his family in his corner more than the other.

speaking of. raph has a pet turtle. this turtle is the only one he can talk to about how he feels. why might that be? it's the only thing hes kind and gentle to, and he refuses to let his brothers make him feel weak for being kind to it. where did he learn to be ashamed of being kind and gentle? thats a learned behaviour. in a house full of other men... yeah, that would happen. but whos values start that?

when this turtle gets some mutagen spilled on it, it tries to get revenge on his family. there is such a resentment going on here, its extremely juicy. the show chalks this up to "post mutation insanity", but its just as easy to think that everything raph has experienced has made him seem angry and resentful and perhaps scared to his pet, and that former pet wants raph to himself so they can be free. the frustrated venting of a child complaining about how no one understands him in such a big way turns slash into a vengeful monster, cuz thats all he's ever heard. it makes sense, he went from a little turtle to a fully cognizant adult aged being in an instant. emotionally no one would handle that well, and definitely not someone whos only ever heard the worst about people.

he comes around later. notably by being on his own, away from the hamatos.

again, im not saying the show is writing this intentionally, but i think tonally its in the zone where you could see this analysis as being canon. that these little pieces of narrative fit the worldview of a toxic family unit that isnt dealing with its problems in a healthy way.

there's other small aspects. leo slaps mikey early on, having seen it on his favourite show be used as a way of getting someone to calm down. mikey questions this behaviour, leo seems to feel bad about it when questioned. if we know that that behaviour was bad, what other things might he emulate in a similar way?

there's things like donnie's predatory behaviour towards april. in a world where all they ever knew was splinter's stories of the outside world (and perhaps television from decades earlier), hearing splinter's story of his love for tang shen, his rivalry with his own brother over her, you could actually see why he would behave the way he does, why he claims her the way he does. not as an excuse, but as a reason he learned the behaviour. and there's multiple opportunities for his father to tell him off. he never does. why would he? he knows no better.

this splinter, unlike every other, is not old or disabled. he doesnt require a cane (at the start, but also was never a good cane) and its interesting that despite being like... a 40 year old man in the peak of his life he does not accompany his sons on missions. he sits around doing nothing and disproves of his sons heroic actions. april literally calls him out for this at one point. the show is actually telling us some of this man's behaviour is wrong.

one of the more upsetting things that happens in this household is a lot of physical hitting. "theyre training" you might say. understandable. but when you see a lot of hitting come from the father in this show, played for a laugh, when you see splinter play the "drunk master" bit it makes you think. is that okay? isnt that a bit much?

the end of the muckman episode is a freeze frame of splinter (after having knocked out all of his sons to punish them for leaving while grounded) turning his anger on april and her running away. idk thats just not funny to me. this is a bit of the dating of the show, 2012 was a time where character's in shows were meaner, less affectionate, more bullying in nature. that was the sense of humour at the time. that isnt me making a judgment, it's just kind of the era. a pre steven universe world, if that makes sense. so many of the jokes that end in a hit aren't funny in 2024. especially not when they come from a parent.

when this splinter speaks about his kids to their brothers he often ends up insulting them. "you should be like mikey, he never overthinks because he doesn't think", this would be a big reason the boys speak about each other the way they do to their faces. puts forward a bit more of that bullying thing i mentioned earlier. if their own father talks about them like this, of course their brothers do too. so of course they join in and give payback.

again. splinter wasnt raised in a normal family. he was raised in a ninja commune with a bunch of murderers. he wasn't great with his wife and baby daughter. its not surprising that he's bad at this.

so, ive just said a bunch of things about what's wrong with this household as a whole. i think ive explained why the family unit behaves the way it does: generational teachings of feuds and traditional values. i dont think this makes the show bad! i, in fact, wish there was more of it. i think theres so much low hanging fruit that the show kind of wants to play with, but cant fully bring itself to.

specific example: during the space arc on a planet thats driving all the characters emotions against each other we get this amazing scene where raph screams at leo for being splinter's favourite. leo responds by hugging him. its really well done!

however its never brought up again, never actually getting into the nitty gritty of why raph feels like that is exactly what i think makes this show resonate with so many people

its dark! it pulls at your heart strings! it makes people feel seen! we go in mikey's head at one point and see such splintered (lol) personalities in his head. he has a huge anger problem (much like raph) in there. he retreats into imagination land when stressed. the show kind of toys with "these kids are fucked up!" but never lets those character moments go anywhere. i love how fucked up this family is. its so complex, it feels real. at least real to me. i wish it went that little step further and let the characters talk about these things a little more.

maybe you have a different experience, and thats fine! but i wouldnt brush off people like me who look at 2012 and say "these dynamics make me uncomfortable". to excuse it by saying "my family is like that and we're fine" sometimes i just wanna say... <:/ are you? have you talked about that? and if that's your read on it is that its fine, thats great. but some people notice patterns and those patterns can make them uncomfortable. i hope ive explained the patterns here.

i think thats why the fandom is as big as it is. this show would lead to the most amazing deep introspective fan-works youve ever seen, it lays the pieces out so perfectly for you to draw your own conclusions about why they are this way. you cant really blame people for talking about it as if its got a way higher rating than it does. it feels like it does.

i should say, i dont even know if i blame the show on its own for leaving those pieces laying there, it was on nickelodeon. i sense studio meddling in the tone. i mean, given that the show wanted to end with the big mutant apocalypse storyline, and yet the network wanted to end it with the big 87 crossover..... yeah i think its safe to say nick would rather they keep it light.

which is funny, because i think the most controversial thing i can say is i personally love the finale arc as the mutant apocalypse. it so encapsulates my favorite part of this show. to end this show in the darkest timeline and say "even though these characters are so far removed from who they used to be and even though the entire world is over they still have each other in the end" and i find that so perfect.

so. i understand that this is always a touchy topic. i know people want to brush it off as "people say the 12 brothers are abusive to mikey but mikey is fine", and i think thats a really skewed version of it from both sides. first of all. mikey is not fine, look in that boys head. look how he copes. he's not. but also, mikey is not the only victim. they all are. these turtles are victims of their upbringing, victims of generational war. of men who didnt know how to be good fathers in the first place. and thats good writing! it feels deep! it connects!

for more context: any fucked up way you can think of karai being raised by shredder? its probably the same way here. splinter and shredder were raised the same way.

i guess i think about this a lot, cuz i always see things like "oh, rise fans write crossovers where the rise boys love each other and have to teach the 12 boys how to be nice cuz they dont like 2012!" and i just think to myself:

guys. do you understand why a person might do that? why would someone (likely a teenager) want 2012 mikey to be treated nicely by a kinder more openly affectionate version of his own family? do i need to spell that out for you? why do we connect with media at all, why do we write our own stories about it?

if you genuinely dont. i mean, im glad for you. but sometimes you wanna imagine a world in which your own family is more openly affectionate with you. where they hug and tell you theyre proud and love you and you never have to question it, never have to look elsewhere for that kind of approval. its less that they're idolizing rise, and more that they're looking at the two families and saying "this one is emotionally mature and in touch with their feelings more than that one. how would that play out?"

doctor feelings ass response.

look, im not saying everyone understands 2012, that everyone likes or needs to like it. im just trying to say that i think these fucked up parts of 2012 are all around my favourite parts of the show. its an inspiring story about this fucked up little family that has no one but each other, and they're not great about it. they try, but they don't always get it right. i just wish the show would have talked about that part more. but i think that since it doesnt people get to fill in those blanks themselves, and they do it so beautifully. and i really wish people on the internet would be more kind to one another when they wanted to discuss these darker themes they find in it.

these are the reasons i love this show. i think its so very interesting that splinter dies this fucked up father figure who never really apologized for his behaviour. i like that raph needs to be held to stop punching his brothers. that leo doesnt have a good grip on what it is to be a leader, that he tries bad ways of doing it. i like that no one copes well! i like that their relationships are so complex! this show is messy! its good! i wish it was more messy!

and id love if we could be more honest about these things and how they make us feel instead of just brushing each other off as "likes the show" or "doesnt like the show". the things that make me uncomfortable are why i love this show and i'm pretty sure i'm not alone there.

#tmnt #thoughts #tmnt 2012 #the post ive been putting off for a year!!!!!#im not sure if i said everything i wanted to but its obviously long enough and i dont want to just summarize things #its here folks im gonna go on a mental health walk now #rip me a new one or dont. just hear me out

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lonigiri · 3 months ago

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venus; chapter eight; sorry

masterlist

taglist

"yn, oh my god i'm so glad you're okay!" kiyokos arms wrapped around her hugging her tight. yn sunk to the ground with kiyoko, her arms still incasing her bestfriend. kiyoko had somehow, found her on a whim, in the middle of some godforsaken park. yoko had no clue what'd drawn her there, she just knew she had to check.

god she was so stupid. maybe she was just attention seeking like her boyfriend said. it wasnt even that big of a deal now that she thinks about it. yn didnt even have any tears left to cry, she just felt so burnt out. so done. so over everything. she heard patter of more feet running towards her, she knew her other friends were saying stuff to her but all she heard was muffled words. so entraped. until.

until she saw him.

messy black hair and a masked face crouched down in front of her, eyes full of worry. why was he even worried? honestly he didnt even know. her and sakusa werent even that good of friends, didnt talk much, when they did very few words were exchanged. maybe a hi, hows your day. but thats it. but for some reason. kiyoomi was seeing her in a new light. he knew his best friend kinda sucked. but he honestly didnt see how much until she yelled in his face about 7 hours ago. atsumu not even caring that his girlfriend was upset with him, and for good reasons at that. sakusa looked at the bloodshot eyes and the mascara stains on her cheeks, he just wanted to make her feel better. make all her worries go away. but he knew it wasnt that easy, it never could be that easy.

"im so sorry."

the words hit yn like a bullet train. she didnt know why either. and why was he sorry. he had nothing to be sorry for, he wasnt the one that made atsumu at like a good for nothing stuck up bitch. but those words. she hasnt heard them in so long. not from atsumu. not from her parents. not from her friends. not from anyone. he was the first person that she heard those words from in years and it hurt. her heart hurt. they just stared at eachother as yns friends coddled her, asking her if she was okay and if she needed anything. when all she needed was an apology. and she got it. from someone that hadnt even hurt her in any way. but why did it feel so meaningful.

"is he here."

was all she asked. words passing through her friends and going directly into kiyoomi's ears. he looked down and then shook his head. she just sighed. she didnt have enough energy to cry. not even an ounce to let out a quick sob. and honestly if she did, she didnt even know if she would've cried. she knew he wouldn't've been there. but just hearing it kinda just sealed the deal for her. he doesnt care. he never has. and he never will. his best friend that she barely knows cares more then her boyfriend of five years. she just shook her head, biting the inside of her cheek. "i know its not what-" "i dont care anymore." she cut him off, sakusa kinda taken aback by it, but he understood. atsumu was shitty. not only was he a shitty friend, he was a shitty boyfriend. a shitty person.

note: cute little chapter am i right 😸

taglist (fill out form to be added): @deadfish714 @matt444nixi @localgaytrainwreck @nobodybutnnoorr @lorisheaven @sophiahearttss @vi0let-writes @evilari111 @laceythespacey @scoupsworld @0rangej0e @snoowply @yessimo @tyrantsmonarchy @ncitygreen @amayaa-aaa @jiminscarmex @bub-ss @sugacor3 @supahumbreon @corvid007 @swagkittybear @meoqs @surfeitstar @rrayras @meekydeeks @pelicanpizza @softtashoney (if your name is bolded and italicized i cannot tag u pls change ur settings)

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stupidlittlespirit · 3 months ago

Note

How do you think Ford would go about comforting his s/o? Like if they're completely breaking down, what is he doing?

Honestly, I think Ford is awful with his own feelings and I think he'd be a bit awkward around seeing someone else get upset, to begin with.

Not from a place of "why are you so upset get over it" but more of a "oh god what do I do" type of place. I don't think he's ever been particularly good with emotions (my BPD king), so he likes to shove his own down instead of dealing with them and so he's not super great at off the cuff advice or anything.

But if he sees that his partner is upset, he's still going to be distressed. I think he'll be likely to hover around you, slightly unsure on what he ought to do or say, and then he'll bite the bullet and just ask if you're alright. He'll be like "Is everything alright? Well, no, of course it isn't, you're crying, that was a stupid thing to say, I'm sorry-" and he'll end up getting so flustered by his own mistake that it makes his partner laugh and distracts them from whatever is getting them down.

And the once the wheels of the interaction are greased a bit with that ice-breaker, he'll feel a little less awkward himself and then he'll find the confidence to press on with helping. He'll have to you sit down somewhere quiet, just the two of you, and help you take some deep breaths.

I think he knows his breathing exercises quite well; although he may not be the best at regulating his emotions long term, he knows (in his older age) how to regulate anxiety/fear/distress in the moment because he'd have spent so long alone in dangerous places/situations that he likely would have HAD to know how to keep himself calm during those frightening moments.

So he'll have you sit, maybe put your head between your knees if you're hyperventilating, and just get you to school your breathing back to normal. He'll offer to hold your hand or rub circles on your back to relax your muscles. Then, once you're calmer, he'll find it a little easier to just ask outright if he can do anything to help. Even if it's something small, like getting you some water or tea. He'll fetch it and come back to you with it, then sit with you while you drank it.

Ford is a problem solver. He instinctively wants to solve every issue as it arises (and even before it does, too), so he's going to ask what it is that upset you in the hopes that it's something he can fix immediately. And if it is, then great! Ford will help with that. But if it's more that you're just sort of feeling a certain way, or there's no specific motivating factor, he might stumble a little on how to help.

But Ford's a smart guy. He'll want to cheer you up even if he can't solve the issue. So, he's gonna wrack his brains for allllllll the things he knows you like best, and then he's going to go ahead and do one better.

You like flowers? Well, then he's going to trek into the deepest part of the forest and find the nicest flowers you've never even seen before, and he's going to not only bring you back the flowers themselves, he's going to harvest the seeds so he can grow them himself in his lab and have a permanent supply of them for whenever you feel down.

You just want to curl up under a blanket and be left alone? Ford is going to find the softest, downiest material known (or unknown) to man, and he's going to figure how to knit you a fucking super huge blanket (bonus if he ropes Mabel in to help with that). He's going to swaddle you in it and then he's going to make sure you're left alone for as long as you need to be.

Ford's kind of terrible with emotional things that get sprung on him, I think, but he's not actually that bad with helping other people out if he has time to think about it. He's gained a lot of wisdom over the years and he's happy to impart it. He just freezes up sometimes.

If you try to tell him how thankful you are or how much it means that he goes to all this trouble for you, though, Ford is going to insist that it's really nothing at all. He was going to that part of the forest anyway, so no big deal! He's been meaning to test out that material! You just gave him the opportunity! He'll be flustered by the appreciation and insist it was nothing, but he's glowing under the praise anyway, and that's definitely enough to cheer you up on top of everything else.

#asks #anon #ford asks #ford pines x reader #we love a man that cares don't we folks!

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brokenpieces-72 · 5 months ago

Text

New Balance

New Neighbours | Navigation

Note: This one has been sitting in my notes for a bit, and was inspired by a photo of Neil Ellice in a white sweater, and no mohawk. From there I got the idea of Soap surviving the bullet but there would still be consequences.

Amnesia, is what they told Johnny. They were able to provide him with proper living and even provided him with some work. He was encouraged to attend therapy but it wasn’t required. Some times he went if only to talk some stuff out. Johnny had a good life though. The neighbours were friendly, he had a contractor who hired him for consulting and odd jobs, decent income, and on occasion took in foster animals. Yet something always felt missing from his life. They didn’t tell him anything about his past. A clean slate, a fresh start. Then why did feel stale?

Johnny opened his eyes with a gasp and sat upright. Another dream about death. Honestly, he was considering returning to his therapist about it. He checked his clock and saw he’d woken up before his alarm again. Seriously 4AM? Again? He tried to go back to sleep but the image of a skull dressed in black kept burning into his mind. Johnny, fed up with his fruitless efforts sat up and pulled out the notepad he’d started keeping by his bed, writing down what he’d seen in his sleep. At least he could add it later on before it vanished from his head again. Johnny tried to go back to sleep grumbling to himself about his mind not letting him ignore what he’d witnessed. He maybe got an extra hour or two of just relaxing and resting before his alarm went off.

The amnesiac got out of bed, and did the usual morning routine. A small work out today, he didn’t feel up to a full one. Breakfast was simple enough, and he could pick something up on the way to his regular job. Shower, dressed, checking his pack to make sure he had everything, lunch made up. An hour to spare, with enough time to grab a bite to eat.

Johnny went to work and headed to the tire shop immediately. Fall was when everyone got their tires changed over and he could work quickly. Mix that with night stocker and he was able to cover decent enough ground. Plenty of friendlies around him, people teaching him how the warehouse worked, and people for him to teach. It also meant a lot of energy lost by the end of the night. Yet somehow sleep wanted to leave early almost every night.

He came in to find a kid cross training in the shop, still learning by getting the vehicles lifted and nuts and bolts off the tires. The noise the power socket made when it was grinding against the nuts was evident of their lacking experience. It was loud and almost sounded like gun fire. It went on for a while, of them tightening the bolts more than they maybe should. The sound was not new but it did give him a bit of anxiousness.

“Aye!” He shouted to the kid. They stopped and looked back at him. “The bolt is on, move on to the next one and get it torqued.”

“Yes sir.” You responded. The loud bang of tires breaking pulled Johnny back to where he was supposed to be. A few needed to be balanced, so he got to work on that, removing the weights, and getting new ones on.

You could curse up a storm, clearly frustrated with the screws and the weight of the tires. You were crouching so yeah that can be sore on the ankles with extra weight after a while. The concrete floors were pleasant on the knees either. Johnny noticed you looking around and fiddling with the socket, which was stuck to the nut of the wheel. Johnny finished up and called for you reading your name tag.

“I can’t get it out, I don’t know what I did wrong.” You said distressed. Johnny could deal with it.

“Get these on to the one in bay two. I’ll fix this.” Johnny said, offering a newly balanced tire. You got right on it, quickly. At least you had that down. Unfortunately you seemed to be making plenty of mistakes. Not your fault, some were out of your control. The bolts were sticky on some, others were hard to find the lift points. You kept apologizing, with some of the other employees as well.

Johnny had you as a night stocker in his department. Worked hard and quick but fell behind sometimes. Sometimes Johnny had to remind you to pick up the pace. You just needed a few pointers, and reminders to stay focused.

The day was tiring. Eventually it ended though. As Johnny gave his farewell to the older manager lady, he stepped out to let the cold air fill his lungs. He leaned against the wall, taking a moment to relax before the drive back home.

You were sitting at the picnic table just outside the exit door. You were shivering a little, and checking your phone. A little young for you to be out here alone. Late to be out here alone. Johnny had finished later giving him some over time, but you finished sooner than him. Chilly out too.

“Oi kid?” Johnny said. You looked up, arms folded, shivering and hunched over. “You getting picked up?”

“My uh… my uncle was supposed to pick me up, but… guess he forgot. Just waiting for someone to come.”

“Don’t ya live near me?” Johnny asked. You gave him your address, and yep, it was maybe a five minute drive from away from his place. “Want a ride?”

“You sure?”

Johnny jerked his head. “Not that far out of my way.”

You got off the table and followed the older man, the backpack slung over your shoulder. Johnny didn’t mind driving a little further down the road.

“Sorry for causing any trouble today.” You said.

“Stuff happens. Don’t worry too much.” Johnny assured her. You started chatting with him, learning more about him, and he learned more about you. Little artist who had your sketchbook out every day before starting your shift, played video games, and liked animals.

Once they reached your home, Johnny let you get out but waited as you went up to the door. The uncle was supposed to leave the spare key out or the door unlocked. Johnny already didn’t trust this. He watched as you fumbled around the door trying to get in. Johnny got out of his car and beckoned you back in. No way in hell he would let you stay on the porch.

He got you in his car and drove to his place.

You kept saying sorry. Johnny told you again, it was fine. Besides he didn’t mind the company, living alone. If anything he was concerned you might be the one uncomfortable. A blanket was found and a pillow, and you curled up on the couch. You fell asleep before Johnny could say good night. It was a lot of work, he doesn’t blame you.

The next morning though you were gone. A note was left saying you’d gone back home, and thanking him for letting you stay the night. Johnny shrugged it off, got breakfast made and some small work done before heading off to work himself. He expected you to be at work at least and you showed up early once again. Almost an hour early. He didn’t know if your perception of time was off but then he saw you in your sketchbook. The doodles were pretty cute, and he realized it was the kittens he was fostering. Once his stuff was ready he sat down next to you and asked about your work. Another apology for sleeping and dipping, and then he got his answers.

A couple of weeks passed by, and you had come around to Johnny’s place a few times to stay the night. Johnny didn’t mind putting you up, but he told you to get a spare key so you could get back in your house. A few times you did get picked up, and Johnny tried to talk to your uncle. Each time he missed out, or the Uncle told him he didn’t have time to talk. Johnny would let it go, shaking his head.

In the tire shop, the noise was high. When tightening the bolts, on the wheels, once tight the loud clicking from the socket unable to move can be loud, and grinding. Johnny found himself looking up every time it rang out. The night before, his sleep had been riddled with shouts and gunfire. The kid was doing it, to make sure the wheel was on properly, to reduce the work of torquing. A few others were as well, but it kept pulling Johnny’s attention, making him stare off. It was making his heart thump harder in his chest, and the air to thin around him. The manager had to snap him out of it a few times, offering to take over whatever he was working on.

You took notice of him a few times but assumed he just got distracted. It started to be a pattern though, and with the busy schedule and getting backed up, there wasn’t much time to stand around. You finished bagging the tire you were on, loading it in the back of a car. Johnny was right by the pile of junk tires, bracing himself against one of them. Without a word, you touched Johnny’s arm bringing him to reality again. Johnny tried to go back to work, but no. You were insistent on him stepping out of the shop to get some water.

“I haven’t been keeping you up have I?” You asked.

“No no… m’fine. Ah’m just…” Johnny didn’t know what to say, so he shrugged. You told him to wait outside in the quieter part of the shop, and went back in to get Johnny one of the mini chocolates someone bought for the tire shop team.

“Take a minute. Have some water. Have your chocolate. Come back in when you’re ready.” You said. Johnny nodded, appreciating the your concern for him. Yeah, he needed a break. If it was to get away from being overwhelmed then that was fine. You disappeared back into the shop while Johnny sighed, leaning against a stack of tires. Yeah that chocolate felt good along with the cold water washing it down.

The dream felt too real last night. It was a fast blur but a few things had stood out to him, having seen them before previous nights. The thing that should’ve haunted him was seeing death. He swore that’s what it was, the grim reaper. There were times he swore he saw it outside of his house too but passed it off as just nerves. It should haunt him… so why didn’t it?

“Aye. Try to stay awake.” Johnny said, nudging you in the passenger seat. You yawned and stretched in your seat as much as you could. Both of you were exhausted. Johnny had been getting plenty of commissions for consulting, along with regular work. You had been working overtime quite a bit lately. Thank god the weekend was tomorrow. Johnny had offered to let you stay the night, seeing you drag yourself through the last couple of work days. You could sleep in hopefully, instead of taking off before the sun could.

“M’tryin…” You said sleepily, rubbing your eyes.

“Ya did good today.” He said, hoping conversation would help keep you awake.

“Thanks for letting me stay tonight.” You said.

“I’m not driving all the way to your place tonight, and I cannae let you go walking by yourself.” Johnny exclaimed.

Once you got to Johnny’s place, he let the you in, and then turned around. The road wasn’t very well-lit but he scanned the trees and houses anyways. It was a more rural area, less people and houses, so someone standing and watching like Michael Myers catches peoples’ attention. Yet the only thing stirring was the trees from the wind. Johnny was alert, trying to discern shapes and rule them out as anomalies.

“Johnny?” You asked from behind. Johnny didn’t say anything, instead stepped inside, still watching before shutting the door. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Ah’m.” Johnny assured you, but he wasn’t so sure himself. You didn’t press. Only asked where the spare blanket was. Johnny wasn’t going to let you sleep on the couch tonight, and instead led you to the small guest room he had. You seemed to appreciate that, thanking him and offering a hug. Johnny gladly accepted the offer.

Once Johnny left you to wash up and tuck yourself in, he went to the kitchen. Then he started to draw the curtains, not wanting anyone to see inside his home. After that he went to the basement and inside a small closet in a makeshift office space. It was under lock and key, one that Johnny kept on him at all times. Unlocking it he took inventory of the small weapons stash he had, seeing if anything had been taken out without him noticing. Everything was accounted for. He shut the doors and locked it back up.

Johnny wasn’t a stranger to pattern recognition. After having a few dreams of death he knew it meant something. He wasn’t willing to talk to his therapist about it. But by now, he’d started to piece some things together about his past. In a side room next to the closet, was a chair. A chair sitting in the middle of the room, surrounded by thoughts, ideas, notes, scribbles and even news clippings that Johnny had collected over the past couple months or so. It was a lot, with not a single spot of the painted dry wall peeking through. Johnny couldn’t even remember the colour of the walls. He tried to add something each night, especially after having dreams of him being in high adrenaline situations, with gunfire and shouting and death. Yes, couldn’t forget about death.

Not tonight. Take a break tonight. Johnny was worn out and fixating would just make him feel even more tired the next day. He would be fine tomorrow, a long sleep, a good breakfast, and chilling with you. That he could live with.

Outside, he watched his old friend stare out from his front porch looking. Did Johnny know who he was looking for? Maybe. Unlikely. Just to be safe, he moved into cover, as you called Johnny into the house. He’d seen you leave from Johnny’s house more than once, and hurry home. After a while he was going to pack it in, assuming Johnny had gone to bed by now. Then Johnny did something he hadn’t expected. Johnny drew the curtains closed. There were no signs of Johnny after that, but the curtains were a sign themselves.

Johnny’s gut hadn’t changed. The drawn curtains were to keep prying eyes from looking in. What prying eyes could Johnny be avoiding? Or was it him that Johnny was concerned about?

He waited a couple hours before finally walking away, keeping himself inconspicuous as he headed to his vehicle. If Johnny was remembering it could be a good thing. The question was whether Johnny would be willing to come back after everything he’d made for himself.

After a few seconds of mulling it over Simon drove back to the safe house.

Taglist: @yourlovely-moon @kaoyamamegami @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @sans-chara @0wosugarmommymedic0wo @smitten-haematite-quartz @talia-the-gemini @yuki2129 @whitetiger846 @graystorm444 @chibiduck @reaperxxxxzz @danielle143 @sobbingnshtting @cringeycookies @cryingpages @dcnocap207 @reaper-chan666 @bestbookfriends @thriving-n-jiving @cutiecusp @shikigami-the-paper-spirit @lolyouranelf

#john soap mactavish #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare 3 #johnny x reader #soap x reader #platonic reader #amnesia memories #amnesia #amnesia johnny mactavish #johnny mactavish x reader #johnny mactavish x younger reader #civilian life #simon riley #simon ghost riley

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aerialflight · 10 months ago

Text

fic rec list (in other words, i need a list for my neurotic brain and its obsessions, f me)

Yeah, everything said above. also, the deadpool and wolverine brainrot is real. i only watched it a week ago. nfeiwofpewafe.

[Deadpool and Wolverine] (i'm still desperately searching for more. i just need a list for the ones that won't leave me alone fyufivuohbjl)

How To Pay For Rent 💸 by fictionfeast

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson (i still can't believe this is the ship name, they actually put worst wolverine as a specification. it's such a unique dynamic and relationship that we NEED that differentiation. amazing.)

To pay for rent, Logan and Wade take odd jobs on Craigslist.

(listen, LISTEN. just from the fact craiglist is involved, you KNOW it's gonna be off the walls crack and hilarity. i swear, this fic went in directions i never in a million years would've predicted, it's amazing. the voices for these characters are impeccable and i, too, would like to shake deadpool like a snowglobe so some goddamn honestly will barf out. logan, you have my sympathies. please read, i'm literally going insane.)

shattered glass by anarkissed

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

At first, Wade is pretty sure it all starts with the bullet- the one Logan had held in his teeth and spit out like it was a prize. Or maybe it starts in the Honda Odyssey. Or maybe it had started way back with Logan's smile. That first sardonic one when they'd met. Or maybe it's the way Logan is always staring at him. Or maybe- "I think you're enjoying this too much." "Maybe you're not enjoying it enough." It’s more bite than kiss, more claim than caress, but it’s their mouths connecting all the same, and Wade gasps, hoarsely, as blood wells up from his lips and Logan tongues it away like it’s his god-given right. Oh, oh oh, oh- he’s crazy. He’s so crazy. Wade has never wanted anyone so badly in his entire life. Wade tries to figure out where whatever he has with Logan started. (And he's kind of hoping he never has to see how it ends.)

Part 1 of dying engine (poolverine/deadclaws)

(i'm not fucking kidding when i say this is my favorite d&w fic. i want to gnaw this in my mouth and develop vampire canines as i sharpen them every fucking reread. there are passages here that i reread like a fucking lunatic and i use the find in page option for the word 'crazy' just so i can go to my favorite part. and the fact there's a freaking part 2? that has logan's pov in it??? and it makes me feel just as unhinged??? it makes me want to go apeshit. please read. for the love of god.)

how easy you are to need by Patricia_Sage

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

Wade smiles when the doctor opens the door. "Hi, we have a vet appointment at 2:00. Please tell me he doesn't have rabies because I have been scratched and bitten plenty." *** Logan gets treatment for adamantium poisoning. Wade helps.

Part 2 of he has risen, babygirl

(i fucking CACKLED reading this, omfg. also, wade's version of helping is both sweet and freaking hilarious, i love this idiot so much. and this fic! addresses the fact logan probably has ptsd medical trauma and i love that. it's hardly ever addressed and i appreciate how it's shown here. also, it's a series! part 1 is great too, you don't need to read it to understand part 2 though, dw.)

Void by RovingOtter

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

After a week without contact, Logan leaves Wade a weird voicemail.

(i'm religiously checking in on this for updates. i know the summary doesn't say anything, so i'll say it here. logan becomes aware of the fourth wall and it's so fascinating??? a genuine look on what happens if the wolverine becomes aware that he's a fictional character and the exploration of that premise here is *chefs kiss* delicious. and how wade reacts to it and how they both deal with the aftermath of this development is so interesting and god, i NEED to know how this fic will go. genuinely one of those fics that have a premise i've never thought about before and it's GLORIOUS!)

where soul meets body by Edgebug

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

"I'll probably see you around?" "Probably not," Logan says, something in his spine still shaking even now, and Wade looks at him with those huge dark eyes that look--hurt, maybe, heartbroken, and Logan knows he has to get up and leave before he can't. Each step is agony increasing, the thing in his spine trembling ever-harder and then Wade calls his name and he stops, turns, sees those eyes again; pleading, desperate. A rush of emotion slams into his hindbrain, it feels half foreign and half his own; don't do this can't do this without you please stay please stay stay stay stay let me stay stay stay "Come home with me," Wade blurts out, and Logan finds that he's taken steps toward Wade without realizing it, closing the yawning gap between them, and the thing in his spine relaxes just a little. "Okay," he says. (In which something very interesting happens underneath the Time Ripper, and Wade and Logan deal with the aftermath.)

(they vulcan mind melded and now can't live without the other. i just love this author's writing and i read every one of their d&w fics. i'm in love with their characterization of not just d&w but the rest of the cast as well! and the banter and genuinely fun interactions between d&w has me kicking my feet and giggling like a school girl. please read, i totally recommend this fic and the rest of the author's other fics XD)

your fool in this game for two by abillionstars

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

“Have you ever lived with anyone before?” At Wade’s question, Logan pauses to think. Scratches his balls for a second, and says, “I lived at Xavier’s school for a while, before I left. Lived in a clapboard boarding house about seventy years back. A couple of times, I slept in a park with other people nearby. Do those count?” “That was a rhetorical question,” says Wade. “Some might even call it an accusatory one. Mostly because—dude. I’m a fucking mess. But you’re even worse.” (two loser loners, falling in love.)

(this is crack. the peak of romance, the very height of big squishy feelings. it's perfect. god, i am utterly trash for this fic, it's so fucking good fnewiofpew)

Love You All Over by FinelyDressedSpacemen

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

The bad guys have love spells now, apparently. Logan gets nailed. Wade tries not to. With great power over your sexiest friend comes great emotional responsibility.

(where wade tries his best to respect logan and logan makes this, so freaking hard for him lmao. lovesick logan is truly the most flirty version of wolverine and it's incredible. it's like if hugh jackman himself is trying to romance the shit out of you. wade really is the stronger person, incredible. anyway, this was a joy to read and if you like musicals, this is definitely for you <3)

I'm the worst at what I do by Thestarvedghost

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

Logan finds out from Wade after everything is said and done, universes saved and friends met, that most hims across the multiverse have some sort of memory issue, one way or another. Logan wishes he was that fucking lucky. He remembers it all.

Part 1 of No end and no beginning

(i recommend this entire series, the progression on d&w's relationship has me singing! it's so sweet and fluffy! well, as fluffy as 2 murderous, self-hating bastards can be anyway lol.)

[Dimension 20] (Fantasy High, A Court of Fey and Flowers, A Crown of Candy)

interchange by fangirl_squee

Fandom: Fantasy High

Oh, the Bad Kids? Yeah, in that group they have [checks notes] a pirate cleric, a goblin bard, a Helioic fighter, an elven barbarian, a tiefling rogue, and a half-orc wizard.

(it's so interesting how different yet the same the bad kids are even with their class changes. man, the idea of fabian being a freaking cleric still makes me want to cackle. he'd be so much more Exasperated by the bad kids, especially freshman fabian X'D. also barbarian adaine has my whole fucking heart.)

yeah you held me the whole way through, when i couldn’t say the words like you by zedif_y

Fandom: Fantasy High

Ship: Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster

When Fabian is ten, his Papa tells him the story of how he married his mother. It’s a gory tale, one that involves a cut eye and bodies hitting the deck. He tells Fabian of a love that sent him to his knees, that leads a man like him– fearsome and powerful, the greatest pirate to ever live– to start a family. A love that gave him Fabian. --- A study on Fabian, grief, and, ultimately— love.

(an exploration on fabian's idea of what love is. god, it's so well written. i love this fic and absolutely recommend it! <3)

white knuckles by thathastu

Fandom: Fantasy High

Ships: Fabian/everyone (but all unrequited)

His ex-fling’s little sister. Two people in committed relationships who also happen to be in the same mega famous rock band. A heartbroken lesbian who doesn’t want to be involved with men in any way. And Riz fucking Gukgak. Fabian Aramais Seacaster, son of Bill Seacaster, finds himself falling for all of his friends.

(seeing the bad kids through fabian's eyes made me realize why the bad kids would be considered attractive to people who know them! it's so sweet how much fabian cares and pays attention to them and the constant feeling of 'oh no oh no' both made me want to laugh and coo at him lmao)

life in a wallflower garden with my friends by sickoflosiingsoulmates for lesbiansweetflips

Fandom: Fantasy High

Ship: Ayda Aguefort/Figueroth Faeth

This is what Ayda has spent her entire life searching after. This is what she built the friendship section in the library in hopes of, what she spent long, lonely nights dreaming of. A night with a friend, a true friend, laughing and talking about nothing in particular. [or, ayda finds friends in the bad kids]

(ayda has friends! ayda has frieeenndss!! i'm so so in love with her and this fic is so fluffy and sweet! gah, instant shot of endorphins, guarantee!)

allies and fealty, or, on finding the first knight of the new Court of Craft by fangirl_squee

Fandom: A Court of Fey and Flowers

Ship: Binx Choppley/Captain K. P. Hob

The enemy of my enemy is kind of my friend. Or something.

(i'm always a sucker for rare pairs and man, this is something i didn't even know i wanted. i love how slowly and carefully they build trust in each other, especially binx who is so secretive and initiated this relationship in the first place. by the end, i completely bought this ship and the potential for it.)

I've walked a fragile line and I've fallen down by jadeandquartz

Fandom: A Crown of Candy

Anger is burning in Lapin’s chest. It is bitter, and it is bloody, and it shines brighter than any Bulb the church might care to invent. Normally, he leaves his emotions be. He cannot afford to let feelings drive him forwards. Remaining logical is the only safe way to play the game of politics - and if you do not play it safe, you die. And if you die, then what was the point? But nothing about their predicament is normal. So, fuck playing the game safely. Fuck that. The world will not play safe with the lives of those he loves. *** In which Belizabeth Brassica is looking for a heretic, and Lapin confesses to his apostasy to protect the House of Rocks.

(one of the first crown of candy fics i read and i never looked back. lapin survive stories makes me so feral and god i love this cantankerous bunny so so much fnewiofewp)

to leave this all behind (halo round his head) by grumpyhedgehogs

Fandom: A Crown of Candy

Lapin blinks slowly at Brassica as she steps up to the bars of his cell, the guards splitting around her like so much water over a stone. He inclines his head, trying for regal and probably failing. “Heretic.” Her voice grates against his eardrums. “You have awakened.” “Zealot. You haven’t killed me.” Lapin replies, dry.

(another, much longer fic where lapin survives and i'm so in love with how much detail and fantastic characterization this fic has, not just for lapin but for the whole cast! the day i stop loving the lapin survives trope is the day i die.)

[The Terror] (yeah, i know, extremely random, and yet here we are. it's due to this animatic here that i was introduced to this show in the first place. def recommend both the show and this artist *thumbs up*)

I'll be Homeward Bound in Time by clandestinegardenias

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

Back in the Arctic, stuffed two to a sleeping sack and trying to keep each other alert, he and James used to name every good type of thing they would eat when they got back, knowing–as they thought–the time would never come. 'Cream puffs', James had sighed one frigid night in a partial feverish delirium. Francis could hardly see him but for the lightest starlight, yet he had heard the smile evident in his voice all the same. That close, he had nearly felt it. --- Hailed as heroes on their miraculous return to England, Francis and James fail to cope, but nonetheless manage to fall together.

(i love how warm they are here, how clearly these two depend on one another and find joy despite the fact london is trying it's best to stamp out this closeness. post-rescue is always such an interesting time where they get to reflect and be traumatized by what happened in the arctic and the lack of understanding that is found when they go home. it's done so well here and man, i just love these two together. the ship that sails their ships lmao)

death is a sailing ship by Maleann

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

"James had died knowing that his heart, the core of his very being that no biographer would ever know, would carry on in Francis Crozier. Would be protected, cherished even, because Francis deemed him worthy of such care. Oh, how he had loved Francis then. He had been at peace with this being his last living thought. It’s his only thought now. In this undead life, his love has nowhere to go." ___ James Fitzjames wakes up in the Afterlife. It looks strangely similar to his cabin on Erebus. (Updated with amazing artwork by Marella!)

(the fic is so!! kind!!! to all its characters! and fitzjames is in full form here, i love how it's him that's trying so hard to take care of his men, despite sir john and his lack of empathy. to have fitzjames damn what is proper and trying to do his best as always even in the freaking afterlife, god. you can just see how much fitzjames changed from the beginning of the show to his end in this fic. how all the characters changed, really. every character here is given room to heal and face the consequences of their actions and there were moments that it seriously made me cry. this is my fave fic in this entire list, it just does an amazing job of showing compassion to all its characters and i love it.)

there but for the grace of- by TheGoodDoctor

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

“I wish you would stop being such a martyr,” a languid voice says quietly, drawling as well as a man can with two missing molars and a glassy, bloodshot eye, leaking all the while from open chest wounds. Francis is rather impressed with his dedication to the role, somewhere under the roil of fury and exhaustion. “You know as well as I do that you could have this bed sometimes, if it didn’t suit you to stomp about with blacked eyes and a put-upon expression.” “And what should we do with you all the while, Commander,” he says, all on a great sigh, “wrap you in sailcloth already? Come, man, you’re either well enough to cease bleeding on my sheets or too ill to get out of them, you can’t have it both ways.” “Francis,” Ross began, “I did not undertake to accept the position of second on Franklin’s expedition for you, as you asked.”

(this fic scratched a brain itch i didn't even know i had. it's so interesting to think about, the idea of crozier not being on the expedition and instead being the person who rescues them instead. fitzjames and crozier actually developing a relationship based on this premise, without the shared trauma, is so so intriguing to me and i wish i had more of this. also, the fact crozier is so much more mentally healthier than canon due to ross makes me want to laugh and cry. god, if only.)

out of the sea came he, still hid in mist by dazydaisy for shortcrust

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

You make bargains you cannot keep. You make promises you plan to break. You give things that are not yours to give.

(a haunting, magical realism fic that feels like a gothic fairy tale. exactly my kind of fic! and if it's yours? definitely a good read *thumbs up*)

At Civil Twilight by lieutenant_iceberg

“Well,” said Francis. “Jopson, will you see what you can do with this three-year-old peace offering? A cup for each of us, and one for you.” “Sir,” said Jopson, collecting one of the bags. “You’ll be up all night if you take coffee now.” “I’ll be up all night anyway. Go, Jopson, go.” When he was gone, Francis got up from the table, and they stared into the depths of the bag together. Finally, Francis cleared his throat and said, “All right, then, James. How have you fared since I hit you?” A few days after Carnivale, Crozier and Fitzjames make a faltering attempt to talk things over.

Part 1 of Civil Twilight

(oooh, the very start of their friendship! how to make peace when their entire relationship is based on animosity and contempt! the dialogue and characterization of these two in this series is so good and i absolutely recommend!)

rebuilding by wildcard_47 for 20thcenturyvole

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

Once they stepped ashore, a fey dark-haired man burst through the crowd a few heads down from Jane Franklin. When Fitzjames saw his brother, he startled, and when Will surged forward in the first press of the crowds around the returned—elfin face wet with tears as he swept James into a fierce embrace—only then did Fitzjames release his grip on Francis’s arm. Only then did Francis feel as if he could step away at last. Written for the 2023 Fall Fitzier Exchange, for the prompt: "Post-canon AU where, once they get home, Crozier and Fitzjames are riddled with guilt and trauma, and deal with their feelings by throwing themselves into caring for the surviving men..."

(i'm always so fascinated by post-rescue stories that actually deal with the aftermath, the logistics of it all. how the characters struggle to handle their own traumas, how they help one another through their experiences, all of it. and how both crozier and fitzjames step up for their men even now, even when they're no longer captains in the arctic and have to deal with london and all it's trappings. this fic handles all that so very well, i love it <3)

As Bullet Speaks to Gun by pointyshades

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Thomas Jopson/Edward Little

Against all odds, they are rescued. Cornelius Hickey is court-martialed for his mutiny, and the whole mess of the expedition is unfurled in front of the public. With their names being dragged through the mud, Francis Crozier and James Fitzjames reach out to each other. Meanwhile, Thomas Jopson seeks revenge for what he believes is his captain's betrayal, and Edward Little tries to come to terms with the truth.

(yes!! edward little my beloved gets to shine here! and jopson is so bitter and angry and messy, it's great! again, i love fics that tackle what would happen post-rescue and how london would react to it. the trials, both actual and mental, they have to face in order to move on and be happy (oh please oh please) is handled expertly and i love it! crozier/fitzjames ship is a little more background in this fic compared to jopson/little, but honestly? i'm so sucked into the latter ship that it doesn't matter. both ships are written very well here and again, my beloved edward little is glorious in this fic and i love it! you go edward! woohoo!!!)

Principles of Magnetism (a Comedy of Manners) by acaramelmacchiato

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

The one where they're married but it's still Victorian times and also it's an accident.

(you don't understand, this fic is so fucking funny. it's so goddamn victorian and sir john is so jane-austen-silly-characters coded. i want to both shake his hand for making this premise happen in the first place, and punch him in his punchable face. and crozier is perfectly characterized here, i can visually picture his disgruntled expressions so clearly in my mind, it's incredible.)

Thaw by orphan_account

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Past Captain Francis Crozier/Sophia Cracroft

Courteous, charming Fitzjames, whittled down to maturity by the North, and being there, very obviously, not as Francis's right-hand man or as his comrade, but as his mate; a soulmate. Sophia had no need to look at Francis’s face, at the discoloration that would have turned one of his blue eyes into the good-coffee brown of Fitzjames's, to know it, so blatant and luminous a thing it was.

Part 1 of A Victorian Soulmate AU

(very interesting fic where one can choose their soulmates, choose who they want to bond with for life. and the fact it's sophia's pov and how she deals with this fact is handled so carefully and full of goodwill. it makes me want to applaud. i love how clear it is that they're grown ass adults willing to discuss and make peace with one another because they're all genuinely good people who want happiness both for others and themselves. this fic feels like a flower that you hold in your hands to admire it's beauty and delicacy.)

And It Is Now, And It Is Here by 20thcenturyvole, pointyshades

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

Before the ships are trapped in the ice, James Fitzjames sees a terrible vision of the future, a harbinger of his own death. Before the ships are trapped in the ice, Francis Crozier is visited by a tender apparition, an angel wearing James Fitzjames' face. They are both seeing the same vision. Whether they can heed its warning is another matter entirely.

(when the ghost of your future haunts you, you better believe it changes to the plot. i love the dichotomy of how crozier and fitzjames reacts to ghost fitzjames! it's so interesting and i was on the edge of my seat the entire time i read this. if you want to know how it all ends, please read! i promise this fic is a ride you want to get on.)

Waistcoats! or, Life Before the Passage by sadsparties

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Lady Ann Ross/Sir James Clark Ross, Lt Henry T. D. Le Vesconte/Original Character

Commander James Fitzjames of the Royal Navy is the Best Man that a best friend could ever ask for. A chance meeting forces him to share his arctic expedition duties with one Captain Francis R. M. Crozier, and perhaps other duties as well.

(listen, the terror is a horror show and i both want and need lighthearted fics in order to deal with all the horrors lol. but seriously, this fic was genuinely just fun to read and i love the banter and slowly developing friendship and relationship between crozier and fitzjames! truly the romantic comedy fic in this fandom. XD)

#Fic Rec #Fic Rec List #Marvel #Deadpool and Wolverine #Dimension 20 #D20 #Fantasy High #A Court of Fey and Flowers #A Crown of Candy #The Terror #poolverine #fitzier

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dragonroilz · 1 year ago

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Hey there! I've come across your art ever since I got into Risk of Rain 2 (better late than never, I've been sleeping on this game for years, jesus), and I'm enamoured with it, to say the least. Is there any advice you could perhaps give for an aspiring artist?

you're getting an essay whether you like it or not.

tl;dr of it if you dont want to read

- learn how to take critique

- dont skip fundamentals

- tracing is okay*

- be mindful when drawing

- you wont see good results for a long time

ok firstly, glad you like my art! i try my best on pretty much everything i make so the compliment is greatly appreciated!!

secondly, you have NO clue how much i love yapping about how to draw. im not an expert on how-to-draw-ology but i like to think i know enough to help other people not swing in the dark when it comes to getting better.

learning how to take criticism is THE most important part. not getting butthurt or at least listening to peoples critiques when they mean well is critical to improvement because its specialized advice for you. you have no clue how many young and/or new artists have gotten mad at me for giving critique when they specifically asked me for it. if youre looking to improve you gotta bite that bullet. not all criticism is valid(dont listen to people who are just tryna make you upset), but good and valid criticism can come from anyone. dont unvalidate someone's critique just because theyre not an artist or "not as good" as you. try and get as much feedback as you can and move onto the next piece instead of fixing something to perfection. you will get obsessed in a very destructive way.

learning fundamentals is another step to getting better. that means actually learning perspective, hands, anatomy, and all of the other stuff people hate drawing. its like lifting weights. most people dont like it but if you want to get stronger you need to put in the time to do the painful stuff.

chris christodoulou(ror's composer) actually made a similar comment about the topic of improvement in his field that was along the lines of "if you want to write music, stop playing video games and read a book". he got a lot of shit for saying that but honestly its true.

you need to treat art as a discipline if you want to get better at it. draw as much as you can for as long as you can before it becomes a health hazard. when im not resting i tend to draw at least three hours a day, not counting the 3 to 6 hours additional hours a day i draw during college. obviously a beginner doesn't need to draw that much but drawing daily is a good start.

if you want resources on where to look for fundamentals, Sinixdesign and Ethan Becker were who I turned to for advice that is relevant to the industry. There's definitely others out there but I tend to do more self studying so i don't know the more recent stuff.

something that they'll bring up is that tracing isn't bad AS LONG AS YOU DONT POST IT AND CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN. it's a good way to see how other people deal with stylization, but its absolutely not okay to post that stuff online. treat it like how traditional painters do master studies. its for your own education, not clout. and you shouldn't be drawing for clout anyway.

last but not least, draw what you love and you'll always love drawing. dont be afraid to hyperfixate and lose interest in things. it will help you continue your art journey. a lot of people in my art school have little to no motivation to draw outside of college because they have no interest in drawing outside of assigned work, which is not a great relationship to have with art if you want to pursue it in the long run. draw what you want to draw when the motivation hits you. if that motivation is risk of rain? draw it. if it's leg muscles then fuck yeah draw that too.

you can stick fundamental practice into your casual art by being mindful of what you are drawing. that can be done by asking questions about what's going on to further the progress of your art. its kind of hard to explain in text, but its basically just keeping in mind how your lines influence the piece.

in the beginning youre going to have ideas and none of them are going to translate to paper. its going to take years before anything will ever compare to whats in your brain and thats just the sucky part. ive been drawing seriously for about 5 or 6 years and theres still a ton of shit i do NOT wanna touch but i have to if i want to improve.

we're all sisyphus pushing that goddamn stupidass boulder and the only thing we can do is acknowledge how far we've come while still knowing that there's more work to be done. but thats kind of the shit that i live for.

#askbox #the framed perspective series #framed drawing #and framed ink #is really good as well #if you have the money for the books #i highly recommend reading them. i attribute a lot of my own success when it comes to fundamentals to those books #ALSO study other artists and how they draw so you can steal what you like about it for yourself #thats a good way to develop your own style

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oflights · 1 year ago

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allie i've been trying to gather the courage to reread close behind honestly ever since i first read it in march last year but i've been too. emotionally distraught to actually do so but! i've literally thought about it probably twice each week. and now i'm finally actually almost over my ex so i should just bite the bullet but im SCARED bc the last time i cried for 5 hours

like i literally remember 2 am on a weekday in literally -2 C weather and i sat on my balcony, wrapped in a blanket, chain smoking and reading at the same time, tears streaming down my face. all this to say i long for that catharsis but i'm. scared

omg. anon!! first of all it's probably weird how happy this kind of message makes me lol, like yay, i left you emotionally ravaged!!! mission accomplished!!

second of all: just remember the happy ending! read the last chapter first, and keep it in your mind as you read the rest!! think about everything that could come after it, too, like:

harry and draco's first awkward af date in hogsmeade. ron, daphne, their kids, and scorpius all follow them in various disguises courtesy of george and they are very obvious but harry and draco are too into each other to notice.

draco never wears black again. for every date with harry, he wears a different set of brightly-colored, over-the-top robes.

he steals harry's colorful fair isle sweaters all the time, too.

oh and he gets a weasley sweater like, day one of his renewed relationship with harry. molly had actually been knitting him a bunch over the years but held them back because she didn't want to make things weird or upset harry, so there's a backlog to get through. some have a little dragon stitched on them and ron is super jealous.

their first holiday at the burrow? emotional, life-changing, beautiful, cathartic. harry weeps at least five times. ginny punches him for old time's sake.

speaking of, headmaster harry who holds regular office hours for all hogwarts students in case they ever need to talk to him about something. even if they just want to talk about socks.

(headmaster harry who gets all embarrassed whenever anyone calls him "the youngest hogwarts headmaster in a century")

terrifying new DADA professor hermione granger, who is distressingly unpopular amongst the students because they're all too intimidated by her and it takes her a while to learn how to deal with kids.

until she skips out on a hogsmeade weekend to scandalously elope with a much younger former department of mysteries intern and then she's just incredibly cool to them.

and listen. scorpius locks himself in his room when he finds out about harry and draco's past. he asks draco if he'd ever loved astoria and makes draco cry. draco teaches him that the heart is a universe and he doesn't have any regrets and a wonderful future doesn't invalidate a past he was truly happy in.

and then!! there's stepdad harry. my favorite thing. scorpius asks harry how he knew he was gay. harry gives scorpius the invisibility cloak and asks him to help perfect his disillusionment charm in return. scorpius asks harry to rig the house cup for slytherin as his birthday gift. harry refuses, even though draco thinks it's only fair.

harry and draco date, get engaged, get married in their 40s. they go back and forth between hogwarts and the hogsmeade cottage (which includes ron and daphne's fam like 70% of the time too; harry loves summers spent as part of the extended weasley-greengrass-malfoy-potter family). draco eventually retires from curse-breaking and becomes a nepo hire charms professor after scorpius graduates.

they really do live happily ever after, after all that. promise. 😌

#asks #anonymous #close behind #oflights #how will you remember?#that i love you?#yes.#that's easy. i can't help it.

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vrisrezis · 2 years ago

Text

Geto x reader angst I’m really not alright (also some gojo x reader too)

based off of Taylor swift right where you left me

Not proof read forgive me for any mistakes I’m too tired to read it myself I made this rlly late

Friends break up, friends get married.

Strangers get born, strangers get buried.

Suguru Getou was now a traitor. Words you never thought you’d ever hear, come from your friends mouth. Gojo wouldn’t even look at you, and honestly it’s the first time you’ve seen him upset at all. You two weren’t the closest, but you were still friends. You were dating his best friend after all, being friends was a must. Suguru and Gojo were a package deal, after all. So to hear of their sudden falling out, you felt sad for the both of them.

In the moment, you felt the need to console him. You didn’t consider your feelings at all. The two were inseparable, the best of friends. You know the two separating is hard for gojo. As he describes his confrontation with suguru, how he just couldn’t kill him, so you hugged and comforted him. Knowing his best friend had betrayed him, you knew he was broken. He felt deep regret for not being there for you in that moment, so he’d pay you back for it in the future by totally spoiling you with his love and care.

Little did you know, that moment of consolation, would be the start of something special between the both of you. It would lead to the start of something entirely new. A new chapter in your lives. It would take many years for either of you to be ready for your newfound relationship, but it would eventually come with getous absence. Time would go on as it would, you’d marry gojo. You’d even have a child.

However, the affections you held for your first love, suguru getou, will always remain. You are reminded of that on December 24th.

Once again, you felt the need to console your current love for being the one to bite the bullet and end suguru’s life himself. After all these years, after all the maturing and aging, you two still cared deeply for that man. But a part of you is just happy it’s over. Even though it hurts, even though it’s unfair, maybe you can both move on. Maybe you can finally be at peace. Even though you never got to say goodbye, this is okay. That’s what you tell yourself. You tell yourself satoru has it worse than you anyway, because he had to be the one to kill him. He was the one that had to find out about his betrayal, about the innocent lives he murdered, he was the one to confront him, lose him, and feel that failure and loss. He’s the one that feels he cannot be vulnerable, because it caused his best friends insanity.

Trends change, rumors fly through new sky

But I’m right where you left me.

But no matter how much changes in this life, he is always on your mind. One way or another, you will never be able to truly move on. Satoru knows that, deep down. He doesn’t say anything about it, cause he doesn’t blame you and he knows you don’t want to acknowledge it. For as much as suguru has done, you loved him for the kind soul he was. You fell in love with the old suguru, and satoru can’t blame you. In a way, he had fallen in love with suguru too.

Neither of you could bring it in you to leave the place he left you both stranded in. In that school that the both of you now teach in.

You’re both reminded of your loss now and again. Getou left satoru behind, and you were left to pick up the pieces. To make him whole again. Getou left you behind too, without a trace. Without even a proper goodbye. You tell yourself, that’s okay. It’s fine. Because he got to say goodbye to satoru. That’s all that matters. He died in peace, he’s gone now. That’s all.

Matches burn after the other

Pages turn and stick to eachother

Wages earned and lesson learned

But I’m right where you left me

“Life goes on.” you tell yourself.

But deep down, you wait for his return. A sign, anything. You miss him, so much. And you, after all these years, still refuse to acknowledge it. So many different times you’ve listened to satoru pour his heart out, and yet you never let out yours. Satoru doesn’t know how to get you to open up about it, because it’s like you want to pretend he didn’t just leave you behind without a word. The betrayal weights so heavy on you, that you refuse it’s existence.

Deep down there’s so much you never told satoru. Your trust had completely left after suguru betrayed you, the man you loved.

Help, I’m still at the restaurant

Still sitting in the corner I haunt

Cross legged in the dim light

They say “what a sad sight”

You often visit the places suguru used to take you. The memories are fond, but the feelings bring you immeasurable grief and dread.

Satoru starts to recognize the places. Suguru used to ask Satoru where to take you out for your first date, your second, third, and so on. Satoru knows that you miss him.

You refuse to talk about it. And satoru can’t help but watch you longingly stare at sugurus favorite ice cream shop you two used to frequent in highschool.

I swear you could hear a hair pin drop

Right when I felt the moment stop

You never told satoru but, suguru did visit you. In fear for his safety, you were silent about it. Because you loved him, even if you felt stupid for doing so, it was undeniable. Despite everything your brain told you, you kept any contact you had with him a complete secret from even satoru. It’s not like you and him did anything too special.

But the first time you saw him again, the silence between you both was deafening. Time felt like it completely stopped, seeing him for the first time, upon learning of everything he had done.

He was the one to break the silence. And confess to the murder of an entire village, including his parents.

Glass shattered on the white cloth

Everybody moved on

You said nothing. You were silent. Getou understands why. He didn’t exactly come here for forgiveness, rather a final goodbye to the person he loved. He doesn’t blame you exactly if you no longer love him.

“I love you.” he says.

You don’t say it back.

That’s the last time you see him.

And that’s when you both had to move on, and start your new lives, without eachother.

I stayed there

Dust collected on my pinned up hair

They expected me to find somewhere

Some perspective, but I sat and stared

After that meeting, you didn’t move for awhile. You didn’t cry, or scream, or anything. You were silent and still.

In fact, you stayed like that for a couple days, losing sleep, losing your appetite too. But satoru was there, he always was, you’ve realized. Unlike suguru, satoru is always there for you.

And yet you refuse to acknowledge getou. You don’t talk about him. You’d rather forget he ever existed. Maybe your life would be better that way.

Right where you left me

You left me, oh, you left me no

You don’t utter a word to satoru.

You bitterly wonder to yourself why he had to leave you, why he had to kill all those people, even his words, his explanation to you, made no sense. This was not the suguru you knew. The suguru you knew wanted to help people, protect them, and saw them as that. People. Not some fucking animals. Some monkeys.

Being in love with a man like that is a cruel joke.

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

You left me, you left me no, oh, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

You had tried to keep it all in, and you certainly have. And you would, for many years.

However, despite you bottling everything up, your pain shows in other ways. Such as simply staring off into space, not uttering a word. Recalling your last meeting with suguru, recalling everything you felt in that moment.

Your face doesn’t give anything away, but your clothing suddenly becoming baggier, the circles under your eyes, certainly does.

Satoru can’t get you to snap out of these states, but you are somewhat in reality when he forces you to eat.

You never want to talk about it.

Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?

Time went on for everybody else, she won’t know it

You refuse to be stuck in time and think about him any longer.

As much as you hate the idea of suguru having so much power over your life, he ruined it.

You just want to be happy again. You want to be happily in love without remembering of him, without feeling guilt, you want to be as hopelessly in love with satoru as he is with you, you want to be truly happy with him without the both of you thinking about how getou has effected you both.

You push your feelings for suguru further away. But it only makes you worse.

She’s still 23 inside her fantasy

How it was supposed to be

But for as much as you try to push it away, your mind goes back to highschool.

You think about all the memories you had, the time he asked you out, your first date, even the time you two hung out outside of school as friends for the first time. The first time he hugged you, held your hand, kissed you.

There’s no point dwelling on the past.

And yet, you still keep coming back to it.

Did you hear about the girl that lives in delusion?

Break ups happen everyday, you don’t have to lose it

You wonder if you’re crazy, dramatic even, for still missing him. Maybe you’ve gone mad. You feel more miserable than ever. You’ve tried so hard to make a new life for yourself. With satoru, with your newfound child. And you are, you’re happy. But that sadness lingers, it’s always there. He’s always there.

It’s like you stopped trusting people entirely, like you’ve lost your mind completely. Maybe that’s because of suguru.

You feel wrong for not being able to tell satoru everything. About seeing suguru, about lying to him and telling him suguru never said a word to you after leaving.

It’s so hard to let people in.

She’s still 23 inside her fantasy

And you’re sitting in front of me

But suguru was just so easy to let in.

You always had trust issues. But with him, it felt right to trust him, to love him. Unapologetically, wholeheartedly.

You barred your entire soul to this man, he broke down your walls without much effort at all. Something nobody had ever done.

His sweet smile, his adorable laugh, his eyes that pulled you right in. He was home.

At the restaurant, when I was still the one you want

Cross legged in the dim light, everything was just right

For the time you had with suguru was good. This ice cream shop was a place you two went to often. Sat and ate at the table, you’d quietly eat and listen to him talk about anything. Pretend to be mad at him when he lightly teased you for getting such a basic flavor.

Moments like these were special, because it gave you the sense of normalcy you lacked.

You know it was special to him too.

These memories of him used to make you smile. You can’t help but wonder what changed?

I could feel the mascara run

You told me that you met someone

Glass shattered on the white cloth

Everybody moved on

You two happened to meet, one more time, per his request.

“To catch up” as he worded it. You stupidly said yes, because you missed him. You wondered if he missed you too. It was weirdly casual, and maybe back then you would’ve been mad at him for the audacity of him to act like nothing happened, but you loved him too much to care.

It was only then did you realize how much he had changed these last couple years. He had children. He was a father. He had a life. And you were still caught up on him. You missed him, so much. Did he even miss you at all? He did leave you after all. If he really loved you, he would’ve stayed.

You kept things civil with him. Pushing down everything you ever felt. It was what you excelled at. You weren’t as silent with him this time, which made him a bit more pleased that he could have a conversation with you. A part of him couldn’t stay away from you, despite how things ended and despite how he promised himself he wouldn’t be weak and see you again.

In his mind, you had moved on. You had a child, you were dating satoru, fucking satoru gojo. The rage he felt, he pushed down. Only for you. Only so you didn’t have to watch him seething with jealousy. Only so you didn’t have to love him even less.

You both have new lives now. That was something you both accepted that day.

Help, I’m still at the restaurant

Still sitting in a corner I haunt

Cross legged in the dim light

They say “what a sad sight”

“Hey..” satoru says softly, finally grabbing your attention.

You look away from the ice cream shop, but gojo just smiles sadly at you.

You let out a sigh, you’re a terrible partner. “I’m sorry..” you say, “this is supposed to be our date.”

“It’s okay.” Satoru says, uncharacteristically soft with you, “I get it, yknow? We’ll take it slow, okay?”

You nod slowly, “okay.” you say, and it’s nothing more than that. Cause he knows you don’t want to talk to him about it. You never do. And he respects that. He understands.

I stayed there

Dust collected on my pinned up hair

You continue to stare, pulled back into your trance for a moment, before you eventually try to continue your date with satoru. You’re distracted throughout the date, and he knows it.

But it’s okay, he understands. Everyone is dealing with losing getou differently, even now.

He allows your silence and he allows you to think about whatever it is. Because this doesn’t happen too often, because he loves you. Because you were always there for him when he cried in your chest about suguru. Because he knows that it’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. You just need some time.

I’m sure that you got a wife out there

Kids and Christmas, but I’m unaware

Cause I’m right where

If he has kids, does he have a husband too? A wife? Wasn’t that what you were supposed to be? Supposed to have? Wasn’t that not meant for you?

He has moved on from you so quickly. You still mourn him. Is this really what you’ve become?

I cause no harm, mind my business

If our love died young, I can’t bear witness

And it’s been so long

But if you ever think you’ve got it wrong

In the end, for as much as you try to deny it. Suguru has your heart. You will always be there for him. Even if he leaves you, even if he moves on like you never mattered, even if he kills all the people in the world, even if you’ve found somebody new. Even when you both live separate lives and even when you both have children of your own. Even when he’s gone and out of this world for good.

And even when he comes back, seals away your husband, and haunts you once more.

You love him endlessly.

I’m right where you left me

You left me no, oh, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

Even when you’re the one that has to kill him this time around, finish him off, even if it’s not really him. You do it, because there’s no way you let satoru do it again. Because for as much as you love suguru, you love satoru too.

And then, it’s over.

He’s on his dying breath, but you see him. The real him. He speaks. You can’t help but notice he’s beautiful even when he’s dying.

For the first time ever, since he left, the realization sets in. He will die, for real this time. He will leave your life, once and for all.

“Stay..?” he says, no other words needed to be spoken. Cause he already knew everything you ever thought or felt. Because he always does so effortlessly. He sees right through every wall you’ve ever built. Something your husbands six eyes simply cannot do.

And you see him for who he is, in turn. You see how sorry he is, not sorry for what he did, but that he hurt you, that he left you. He’s sorry he couldn’t be good for you.

You left me

You left me no, oh, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

You’ve pushed away every feeling you’ve ever had for suguru for so long.

It’s the first time you allow yourself to truly cry over him.

“I’d stay with you forever, suguru.” you admit, the tears finally leave your eyes, it feels good to finally let it all go. But it’s bittersweet. Because in the end only suguru can get you to truly be vulnerable. Because even after everything he’s done. He has your love. He has your trust. You give into him wholly, and unapologetically.

You have come to the understanding that you will miss suguru deeply, but you will finally be able to move on. You’ll live your life with satoru, with your daughter kido. You’ll be happy, you won’t feel guilt, you won’t be constantly reminded of your loss. You’ll even learn to open up to satoru finally, after all these years. Things will be okay.

But for now, you’re with suguru. Even if he will leave you, again. You’ll always be there for him, no matter how many times he leaves you in the dust.

#suguru geto x reader #suguru x reader #suguru x you #suguru x y/n #suguru geto x you #suguru geto x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #satoru x you #satoru x y/n #satoru gojo x you

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whitefangz · 11 months ago

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sorry i need to overshare on tumblr dot com. nothing serious but it might be long so im putting it under a readmore

i started seeing a therapist in june and just stopped and i am not intending this to come across as anti therapy in any way but im like LASKJF idk. i need to tell somebody else about this. I contacted her in like mid May i think and i specifically sought her out bc she said she does cognitive behavioral therapy and ive read thats a good option for people dealing w my issues and started seeing her in june and like. The first couple of times were fine i honestly didnt really like it but everyone and their dog is always like ohhh it always kinda sucks at first and also i simply hate talking about my feelings etc so i expected that. fine whatever. anyway red flag number one was that she didnt seem to understand how insurance works at all and said i could just pay her on venmo. and i was like. Um ok. but she said i wouldnt need to for a couple weeks so i just left it alone. red flag number two is that one time she brought her enormous dog and it lunged at me and tried to bite me in the face. LASJKFG which to be honest. I almost walked out at that point and i mean she was very apologetic + usual dog owner "he never does that im so sorry!!!!!!" and removed him from the office but like Who fucking brings their horse sized dog to a therapy appt without asking if the person is ok with it. And like she was accredited and shit its not like i was going to see someone in their basement. i would ignore these if i thought her sessions were like remotely helpful but all she would do was like. Ask me about what i did and then tell me not to do that. Like i pace around the house a lot when im anxious. and she would be like well try not to do that. ok! see you next week. Like. Do you think ive not thought of that one. she also kept insisting that my phobia has to be like rooted in some kind of trauma or that its actually Secretly about being afraid of embarrassment and i would be like. i dont think its either of those things. and then she'd be like Ok well i don't really know how to help you :/ Which honestly idk. i was put off by her saying that repeatedly as is but then last week she just decided she was going to make me try exposure therapy which i told her before i don't want to do / don't feel ready to do right now. i just want to focus on managing the anxiety first. and she just like told me to do it anyway LJKFD idk. i emailed her to tell her i didnt want to continue and she was like that's ok. you might want to try EMDR therapy. btw you still ahve to pay me on venmo. and im just sitting here like 1) No i dont think i will need to try that and 2) I paid her thru my insurance like a normal person LASKJF like i dont know. i feel like i dodged a bullet or something. i'll try again someday but at this point im just happy to stop paying $20 a week for a woman to tell me to meditate. perhaps this is an uninteresting wall of text but if you read this far picture me shaking your hand. just a life update from me

#thoughts #dont reblog #Wait she also told me not to bring water 2 my appointments bc i told her i sometimes get anxious when i dont have a drink on me #and i was like you want me to not bring water to my appt that i walk to in like 90 degree heat? and she was like :/ ok nvm #idk. help. LKDFJK #also. in her email today she was like you may also wqant to try someone who does traditional therapy #and i was like #Girl what are you doing then..#sorry i keep remembering more things

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windsorbay · 3 months ago

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THE CHARACTER.

FULL NAME: Aoibhinn O'Brien

GENDER: Cis woman

PRONOUNS: She/her

AGE + BIRTHDAY: 34 + March 12, 1991

LENGTH OF TIME IN WINDSOR BAY: 34 years

HOUSING: Suburbs

OCCUPATION: Accountant for O'Brien Brewery

THE INTERVIEW.

What’s it like, living in Windsor Bay? Did you ever picture yourself settling down here or did you always know this would be your home?

"Oh wow well honestly I kind of thought I'd be the first of my family to branch out and go someplace a little more exotic like Greece or Thailand. I wasn't much of a homebird, I used to go all over the world for work until the pandemic and then I got comfortable, fell hard in love and had a baby. I'm glad I stayed in Windsor Bay though, people say everything happens for a reason and if I left, I wouldn't have Liadh. Now I know that there is nowhere else I could call home."

If you could recommend one hidden gem around town everyone should try, what is it? What makes it so special?

"Please, please don't judge me but I kind of love the rush of adrenaline from go karting at Need 2 Speed. Its like i'm so sensible when I'm driving you know, but there's always a part of me that's like 'Hmm what if i went like super fast down this empty street' and go karting kind of gets those intrusive thoughts out of my head. Plus I love to win, and its so much fun.. please don't tell my Mom."

What’s your family like? Are you still close, or have you blocked all their numbers?

"I try to love my family as much as one can, but sometimes you have to just turn off your phone and lock your doors. Its for my own peace of mind, because as much as I would take a bullet for them, I could also turn around and shoot them myself just as quick. --I've had years of bullshit arguments. Now I just nod, smile and walk away."

If you could have any three guests come to dinner, dead or alive, who would they be and why?

"Stanley Tucci because he would be amazing company, and he would probably do the cooking which I would love. Paris Hilton because she was the OG trendsetter back in the day and she still kills it everytime. Hmmm i'm thinking purely because we all need entertainment and delicious inside information Freddie Mercury or Prince."

Top five songs currently on your Spotify?

"Oh one second let me get my glasses on-- ugh my phone is so slow, one minute. Got it- okay! 1)Busy Woman by Sabrina Carpenter, 2) Lucky by Britney Spears, 3) The Way I Are - Timabland & Keri Hilson. 4) On The Floor by J-LO & Pitbull and 5) Let It Go - Idina Menzel. My kid just discovered Frozen-- send help."

Would you say you’re easy to get along/work with? Why or why not?

"I personally think I work better alone. People slow me down and ask dumb questions and I just -- dont have time for it. …"

We’ve all had our fair share of shit hit the fan and moments in the sun — tell me about a defining moment in your life, good or bad.

"I think the moment that defined me, and more importantly who I wanted to be, was the moment I walked away from Liadh's father. I loved him. I still do, and part of me might never recover from it, but he didn't want anything to do with me or her. I know in my own heart it was the right decision but it still hurts me."

Do you have any regrets? What are they?

"I regret falling out with my bestfriend. My relationship had just ended, I was heavily pregnant and she'd just gotten engaged. I was awful to her.. I wish I could go back and undo it but I made my bed and now I lay in it."

Are you a leader or a follower?

"Leader. Unless its like fashion related because no one told me UGGS were back? And Crocs? I've been wearing sneakers when i could have been living in comfort. Thank god for tik-tok."

It’s the little things in life; tell me three things that bring you a great deal of joy or put a smile on your face.

"Oooh okay so like, you know when you walk into a coffee shop in the morning and it smells so good? And then you pick up a croissant to go and you take a bite of it in the morning sunshine? I live for those moments. 2) A really good pair of jeans or boots on sale at TJ Maxx that fit perfectly! Its like a kiss from an angel and soooo hard to find. 3) Liadh when she's sleeply and climbs into my arms, and we cuddle for what feels like forever. In those moments when its just us it like time has stopped. And I just listen to her breathing and I can smell her hair in its little braid of blonde whisps and my heart just swells with love and joy."

THE PERSONALITY.

— + Honest, Compassionate, Optimistic— - Impatient, Stubborn, Tempestuous

AOIBHINN IS PORTRAYED BY NICOLA COUGHLAN, AND WRITTEN BY ASH.

#windsorbaybio #windsorbayaoibhinn

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gerrystamour · 2 years ago

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on and on (nothing left here anymore) [oc fic]

Teen★OMC Ship★792 words★Complete

This is literally some of the saddest shit I've ever written honestly, and it's without any real context. It's also, in my honest opinion, some of my best writing?

This is about OC's in a mafia!AU me and my scromies have gotten brainrotted on.

Sam: mine

Dom: @patchworkgargoyle

Anyway, this is a letter written by Sam that's in "response" to a letter he received from his dead lover, Dom. You can read the letter from Dom here, written by the lovely Sav.

CW: Major character death (the major character is one of the OC's and he's dead dead, like he's not coming back), suicide ideation, grief.

Anyway, uhm, here it is?

Hey Sweetheart,

This is literally so fucking stupid, it's not like you’ll even read this, and I know your dramatic ass is both laughing at me in the afterlife and pissed I didn't let you have the last word. Isn't that just us, though?

I reread all of our letters over the years you were away and I know your first letter back to me was probably one of your petty, shitty little Fuck You’s because I stopped sending my letters. I say sending because I didn’t stop writing them. Jesus, Sweetheart, I was so fucking in love with you, even back then. I was fucking insane about you and I knew it the fucking moment you got out of my truck at the airport.

Do you know how close I was to chasing you down and telling you? Right then and there? Jesus fucking Christ, you probably would’ve stabbed me and I would’ve deserved it for dumping all that at your feet right before you had to leave for however long your old man told you to. So, I didn’t.

But I watched you walk into that airport, and I waited to see if you would turn around, even once, just to look at me one more time. I told myself that if you looked back at me, then maybe you were in love with me, too, and I would fucking disregard your stupid, bitchy “don’t call, don’t text, don’t visit” garbage. But you didn’t.

You just disappeared into the airport and I had to continue on with my life as if I didn’t just fucking let one of the brightest parts walk out of it.

God, Dom, in your stupid beautiful shitty letter you said you wouldn’t change this, and that’s real big of you I guess. I’m a selfish man, though, and if I could, I would fucking rewrite it all so we weren’t doing this. You in a fucking crematorium and me more than half a bottle of whiskey into a letter to my dead fucking soulmate a dead man. We’d have a goddamn happy ending that neither of us probably deserve because I don’t want to do this without you.

And ultimately, I would rewrite all of this so that I actually told you how you made me feel. I would rewrite things so I chased after you at the airport and told you I love you, even if you would’ve stabbed me for it. I would rewrite all of this so I told you I love you all those fucking months ago when we laughed together on the sidewalk outside your apartment and then you kissed me and dragged me back inside. Yeah, I remember that, too. It was an amazing night.

I don’t know how to end this, because if I do it’s over. I’ll finally have the last word and I don’t want it. I want you to fucking be here to scoff at me, to critique my writing, to call it cliche and boring and boorish and shit. I want this to be something I’m going to put in the mail for you to open it and read it and get your fucking smell all over it because you’re fucking alive. I have your fucking cologne but it smells all wrong because it’s missing YOU, and it makes me want to die every time I open that stupid bottle. But I do it anyway because it’s the closest I’ll ever get to kissing you again.

I need to finish this, so I’ll just bite the fucking bullet and do it. I can’t write this forever because we’re having your stupid interment in a couple days before Vinny, Kez, and the baby go away. It’s a small thing, don’t worry, just a handful of us. The big one that’ll piss you off is going to happen after we deal with the shitstain that got you.

I love you, Dom, and I hate myself everyday for not telling you. It is one of my biggest fucking regrets in my life. Every single day I spent kissing you and not telling you what it meant to me will fucking haunt me forever. What could we have been if I wasn’t a fucking coward? Would the ring you gave me mean what I wish it did? And I am a coward, more than you were, okay? I knew I was in love with you for eleven fucking years and I didn’t say shit about it.

Anway, save me a spot in whatever toasty spot of Hell you’ve probably taken over. I’ll see you when I get there, Sweetheart. Forgive me for hoping it’s sooner rather than later. I told you I’m a selfish man.

Your darling,

Sam

[ READ DOM'S LETTER HERE ]

#gerry writes #mafia!au #oc.fic #samdom #gerry.oc

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astro-b-o-y-d · 1 year ago

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Honestly if I really feel like the chapter's not up to my standards by the time next-NEXT weekend rolls around, I'll just bite the bullet and shoot for the weekend of the 20th-21st. It'll be right before TBOB drops, it'll still be within my desired goal window.

If it's not done by that point, oh well. I'll survive and try for the next weekend. Not a rush, not a huge deal, and my followers are angels who are clearly willing to wait as long as they need to.

#Hayley Writes Triangulum #I do feel so bad that I can't get chapters out as quickly as I'd prefer #But it really does mean a lot to me when you guys are so understanding #I work two jobs so my energy levels during the week are so hit or miss at times #So I can't do as much editing on non-weekend days as I'd like #But that's okay; I don't have to rush #It will come out when it comes out

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thatoneterrariaplayers-vault · 10 months ago

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Dangerous Moons - Chapter 3 - First day on the job

The soft patter of rain on the metal roof is what wakes me. Evelyn is probably still asleep so I should be quiet. Peace, another thing I took for granted back then, the ability to sit with my own thoughts and just exist without disruption or fear. That peace however is short lived because Evelyn shoves open her front door like it has murdered her family. I honestly thought she was sound asleep. “Rise and shine sleepy! We have a whole day of preparations to get to.” she exclaims.

ll I can manage are the sounds of discontent at the sounds of my now disturbed peace. Old habits die hard, especially the ones involving sleeping and being lazy. “What time is it anyway?” I ask. “Almost time for lunch.” she says. “I’ve been asleep that long huh?” “It honestly looked like you needed it. Anyways you should get yourself ready and I’ll debrief you over some food.” Evelyn lends me a spare jacket and some clothes along side a pair of hefty boots. After the shower I come out and smell eggs and bacon sizzling away on the stove. Sitting down on the couch Evelyn brings out the food and begins to tell me what she has planned,“Simply put, it looks like our time on this planet is done.” “I just got here!” I protest. “So did I! Its in the nature of the job. Back to the plan however. My employer just told me where I can find my target.” she rambles on while biting her food. “Your target is who now exactly?” “Mob boss Daren Galcharon, a local big shot who has ties within syndicate, his gang acting as a police force on this dump of a planet because the actual law enforcement is to lazy and too underpaid to deal with him. This obviously allows him to supersede the actual laws and regulations while the real cops do jack.” she says, “What’s your fighting capacity like anyways?” “Oh, me? I honestly prefer fighting with swords.” “Swords? Among the brilliant weapon choices in these galaxies and you chose the way of the blade!” she protests. “You’re one to talk. Your’e not any better with those archaic pistols you wield.” I protest in return. “Please at least tell me you are good with those rust sticks of yours.” “Rust sticks! I am offended by such, you would never know the time and dedication it takes to not only train but also maintain these master class weapons, without enough training some could become good enough to block bullets even.”,I’m pissed and I’ve just woken up, “I prefer the elegance of my blade better than the barbaric bite of your bullets.” Evelyn casts me a glance that screams, ‘are you out of your mind?’ Evelyn’s facial expressions changes drastically, from her frustration with me to now looking sad and pensive. “Hey, what’s up?” I ask not expecting any solid answer. “Oh nothing, you just remind me of someone I knew.”,she says, ”Anyways, time to get yourself up and out of that bed and get ready, we have some stuff we need to do, before needing to leave.” She hastily gathers herself off the couch, taking the emptied plates of food along with her. “Hey Evelyn, why are you so eager to work with me? A stranger you met in the dark hours of the night.”,I ask. “Well firstly, we all hate Gary. At least I do and therefore the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Secondly. My previous partner was a real damn idiot and got himself killed, while you seem like the adequate replacement, nimble, fast to react to changes. Curious.” “How did he pass?” I feel as though this question might have struck a nerve but I am to curious not to ask. “Tried to double cross me. I showed him though, put two bullets in the dirtbags hands and then one last one with the infamous big one to his ugly head.” she flaunts her draw by spinning a mug from her hip, “But you won’t try to cross me now will you?” “Because the stranger with no family or place to call home will betray their only beacon of hope? Very realistic.” my sarcasm steeps the musty rooms atmosphere. “Anyways, we will have to go out and get some supplies for the ship”

“Well look what we have here?”, the man’s rough voice could be heard from outside on the roof of the warehouse. Peeking through the large skylights up there we could see the interrogation scene. In the centre of the floor is a chair where one poor man is tied onto it a bag over his head. “Let’s show this young man here, what happens when you mess with me.” Evelyn nudges me gently, “The man you saw, he is our target. A powerful close range fighter. Any questions?” “Just one. Why do you not just shoot him from over here with the big gun?”, I ask. “Well you see. It’s super loud. Also the bullets are expensive. I choose to save these for rainy days.”, Evelyn answers. Suddenly our attention is diverted to the sound of Galcharon breaking what might have been that guy’s jaw. “He’s not surviving this is he?”, I ask. “Probably not. I wonder what the poor guy did to deserve this fate.”, Evelyn seems eager to drop in and begin this mission. Time for my first taste of her combat personality. Galcharon’s arms looked like logs with barbells attached to their ends. Both Veins and muscles are displayed in high definition. His fist rained down on the man’s frail body, each hit morphing the shape of it into an unrecognizable lump. Evelyn warns me, “Ready when you are.” “Right. Let’s do this.”

Crashing through the window we ride down with a wave of glass. The initial break announced our arrival as everyone gazed up to our entrance. Ripping the man of the chair Galcharon used him as a shield to block the initial assault of glass, while his two henchmen dashed away from the window. “And who the fuck might you be?” he asks. “Your worst nightmare!” Evelyn taunts. She really does not realize how terrible that line sounded out loud right? Evelyn spins her revolver from her hip sending off a shot. It hits something alright, not our target but the poor sap in the chair. “interesting, very interesting. I never did expect the great Evelyn Deadeye to hunt me down but my goons did mention something about you being close.” he rants on. Evelyn casts me a gaze of confusion and anger. “Hey! Look at me when I talk to you.”, Galcharon demands, he has his gun drawn now, it looks puny in his mammoth hands. “let’s get this done with.”,Evelyn says while cracking her knuckles. My swords have been itching for a fight. Before the confrontation began, Evelyn handed me a semi-automatic pistol capable of supressing a nearby target, she referred to it as a ‘M1911’, not only is it somehow heavier than both my swords combined but it is also about as useful as a dull kitchen knife in terms of efficiency. More harmful to me than my target due to its terrible weight balance and the magazines holding barely any ammunition. It really does not help that Galcharon’s skin may as well be made of thick steel. I imagine the projectiles this thing fires will physically bounce off his reinforced nanite skin. I see her to taking cover nearby, the bosses goons had opened fire down the middle of the warehouse, the wave of pulse-fire would certainly fry anyone caught in its wake. When the gunfire stops Evelyn makes her first move. A quick shot with her weapon taking out one of the unsuspecting gunmen. Before the fools could realise it Evelyn had already changed her shooting angle so that, after the remaining four finished shooting at where she was last she could skilfully take out another two. Watching her work was unlike anything I’ve ever seen, the absolute grace in her movements, the skilful aim of her guns where each shot found its target with deadly precision as she dodged and weaved between bullets and obstacles. Entranced, I barely noticed the six foot tall train of a man Galcharon approach me ready to beat my face and body into a different shape. Bracing, the screech from my blades as the punch pushed my heels into the ground pushing me a distance across the floor. “So, who are you girl? Another one of her toys. Who she will just dispose of when she’s bored or tired of you?”, he asks. His words make me unsteady and he sees that, taking full advantage of my confusion and inaction. “Or, you are someone more special, more valuable than she has realised yet.” he taunts, “No matter you will both be back where you belong in due time.” Then, the world went dark. As I drift once again into unconsciousness.

My head is throbbing in pain as I awake in a strange location. I can feel the whirring of an engine, the steady vibrations can be felt through the floors. Evelyn is sitting on a chair in a corner of the room in total silence. “Look who’s finally awake. That guy really knocked you out cold! You have been out for hours.”, Evelyn says rising out of her chair, she walks over to the bed and sits at the foot of it. “I suppose you and I have many things to talk about now.” her tone is condescending, “Like who you really are, miss violet.” “What’s their to talk about, I got knocked out by the guy.” “That’s not what I want to talk about, it is actually what happened just after you got knocked out. See the boss mentioned something intriguing, so intriguing I had to delay his murder to question him and he revealed to me something shocking to me.” “What is this about Evelyn?” “Who are you really running from?” Evelyn leans closer to me,”And what makes you special that the Syndicate’s bounty on you is larger than any ever seen for some common criminal.”

Evelyn is pacing around the room, “Any answers runaway?” My heart and brain are racing for an answer, any answer. Anything but the truth. “Truth is.” my body freezes at the thought of it. “Truth is what! Knowing your Syndicate property puts so much more at risk! You are currently the galaxies most sought after woman and I’m the one who so happens to be taking care of her. I knew your face looked familiar too I just could not remember from where I saw it from.” I try to muster the courage for words but all that can come out are the silent cries for help. “Look, Violet. I won’t just toss you to the damn dogs like that, It’s beneath me really, but I can’t help but feel betrayed that you would skip out such a huge detail about yourself. I can tell you’ve been through it, especially with that prosthetic arm of yours.” “You don’t have to help me. All I am is trouble for you in reality.” “It’s not about whether or not you are trouble.” Evelyn’s words resonate with something Inside me, “I used to be like you, in parts I still am, my past is filled with troubles too. I’ve faced most of them being out here, the vastness of these stars allow one to really connect with yourself and reflect. That and the countless of bastards I murdered for what they did to me.” “Are you wanted by the Syndicate too?” “No but maybe I’ll tell you that story another time when I’m ready myself to reface those fears.” Evelyn’s words sound almost regretful. Then without warning, she embraced me in a warm hug. It’s a strange feeling, I’ve grown accustomed to being grabbed and tossed around by cold hands. I’m not very proud of what I have done to get here, those I had to kill. I can’t really help myself at this point, holding it in has become a burden and the tears start to fall. “It’s fine to cry now, you’re safe here.” safety, her words pierce the regrets and doubts of my past. Perhaps finally I can start again and figure out what to do with myself. I don’t remember when I drifted to sleep that day but when I did, I felt the warmth and smell of her body.

#sci fi #science fiction #scifi #writeblr #writing #writers #oc writing #dangerous moons #series

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