#honestly the situation is just fucked up

[ssreeder]

mmk letting you know I’m alive

even though I’m still lowkey sick??!?! sick under situations of duress (ie my sister sat on me like I was a GODDAMN HORSE and induced a coughing fit despite me thinking I was recovered) (my sister is not a small sister though, my sister is 21 and Tall so maybe coughing was a reasonable bodily reaction idk)

anyways suki thoughts: I would literally be devastated if I were her and the boy I liked appeared to reciprocate my feelings and then I found out that not only did he FULLY LIE TO ME ABOUT ALMOST EVERYTHING but also was actually interested in somebody else. I would not have been the bigger person that suki was I would’ve told sokka to go fuck himself and then gone off to wallow and shit talk him with the girlies.

but then again when the katara lying to zuko about being sokka sitch went down I wouldn’t have hesitated to pretend like she did so… maybe I’m just a bad person. (jokes, I totally think suki was valid for her response and I actually think it was an insanely emotionally mature response???? like being emotionally mature is about recognising your emotions and reacting appropriately so you don’t hurt others in the process unnecessarily, NOT ignoring your emotions/not having them to begin with so you can always put the feelings of others before your own and have the “ideal” reaction… not to be too deep about this AND I DONT THINK PEOPLE MEANT IT TO COME ACROSS LIKE THIS but it also makes me feel kinda iffy about the fact that suki a teenage girl is being criticised for letting her own valid emotions get in the way of her assisting sokka a boy through his trauma.. kinda giving women expected to perform emotional labour for men all the time…….. OBVIOUSLY A LOT OF THIS SENTIMENTALITY IS BC WE KNOW HOW FUCKING HARD SOKKA HAS IT AND HOW ITS THE TRAUMA THATS CAUSED HIM TO BEHAVE THIS WAY but it’s still not sukis job to “fix him” especially as a priority to her own well-being. and idk it makes me think about whether the reaction would be the same if the situation were reversed. MAYBE IT WOULD BE !! sorry I just have a lot of thoughts about arbitrary expectations regarding traditional gender roles T-T)

anyways this was supposed to be a short ask to let you know I’m alive and once again it got out of hand. SMASHING YOUR LIGHTBULBS *mwah*

~also I’ll share my iroh theories next chappie reaction REMIND ME TO DO IT I CANT FORGET SREEDIE PLS I HAVE SO MANY OPINIONS~

LEEEEEEEEKKKKKKIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE

hi.

Ok you had better not still be sick or like WTF. you need a dr.

Hahaha - the way you rationally state the facts of the situation between Sokka & Suki is so funny because you actually bring up a lot of great points & you do it with so much flare.

Is Suki responsible for catering to Sokkas emotional reaction to his trauma by being overly understanding and making justifications for what he did?

Should Suki have stayed and allowed Sokka to drag her back into a situation that made her emotional and uncomfortable?

Should Sokka have accountability for his actions & not be allowed to blame his trauma for hurting sukis feelings? Or was he justified for what he did because he is obviously in a bad place and we know how mentally fucked he is right now?

Is Sokka or Suki responsible for the others emotional well being in any capacity if they are just friends? & how far should they be willing to go? At what level does it become too emotionally draining and toxic?

I DONT KNOW LEEKIE,,, I JUST DONT KNOW!! I love how you look at gender roles and I think the situation is interpreted differently by each individual who looks at it based on how they would react and the expectations they have for characters to perform a certain way.

I love complex situations & how many different right & wrong ways it can go…. Hehehe *skips happily*

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

[the-final-sif]

what is your opinion on the situation?

I've been at work all day so I haven't been able to sit down with stuff fully, it also seems like Caiti is planning to release a statement later today with more information I think? So I'd like to get her response there, but based on what I've seen so far I think I fall more on the side of "people made some dumb choices and should learn from them" than anything else.

Consent is messy and it gets messier when people start lying or are drunk. In this case, both Caiti and George were drunk. From what I understand, either Caiti had a 21+ wristband from the vidcon party, or her friend group did and assumed since she was drinking with them, she was also 21+.

Honestly, when it comes to the matter of underage drinking, I don't think it's even remotely fair to place blame on Dream/George for that. The blame there lies with Caiti deciding to drink while under 21, and on her friends, Ghostie and the other person present who were both over 21. Unlike Dream/George, both of them knew Caiti and knew exactly how old she was and were letting her drink. They were also letting her drink with no one sober and no one making sure she got home.

Now, Caiti is 18 and also I'm not a goddamn square, I'm not gonna stand here and be like "oh no drinking at 18 clutch my pearls" but like, if people are going to blame other people for that situation, that very much lies with Caiti's friends who knew they had an underage person drinking with them. I feel like people are weirdly assigning blame to Dream/George for not like, iding every person they hang out with (particularly if she had a 21+ bracelet at vidcon, which would mean she already got IDed). While completely avoiding placing any blame on the people who 100% knew they were taking an 18 year old drinking without a doubt.

Putting that aside, from my understanding George's side is he believed at the time that she was having fun, and the most they did was cuddle on a couch with other people there. He believed at the time that everything was cool, and that she later decided she was uncomfortable with what happened.

Honestly, I don't really think that's an unfair reading. At this same party, her best friend was there and from Ghostie's own words, she also didn't realize Caiti was uncomfortable until several months later when Caiti told her. If her best friend didn't notice she was uncomfortable or see anything wrong, then I find it hard to think anyone else would pick up on it.

There's certainly risks taken here that I wouldn't have taken. I think that George needs to do better with checking for consent and maybe vetting the people you're hanging out with. Although I also understand that doing a full background check on everyone you ever meet is an absurd requirement and if, at the time, they trusted the person that they actually invited, I get how that shit happens. Per consent, given that he was also drunk, I get how it may've appeared to him that he had consent. I do think it's still something to work on, but I'm also perfectly aware that in real life, people are often going off vibes and social cues, and sometimes those don't mash.

I also think that Caiti's friends have been pretty shitty throughout this. They take no responsibility for having let an 18 year old drink and then ditching her. They are absolutely milking drama out of this shit and they have a weird obsession with blaming Dream for shit he had no fault in.

As for Dream, I don't think he did anything wrong here. Full stop. If Caiti's best friend didn't notice that she was uncomfortable or unhappy, it's insanely unreasonable to expect Dream to have managed that. He was also drunk and hanging out with people, and he had no way of knowing Caiti was underage. None of that shit was his fault, and his statement seems very measured and reasonable. People are trying to blame him for things that he had absolutely no part in, and the UK group are absolutely trying to pull that shit.

Overall, sounds like several people involved made dumb choices, I hope they learn and grow. Otherwise all of this honestly sounds like shit that should've been talked out privately and not tossed to the internet for speculation. Human beings are messy and will fuck up sometimes. This feels like a case of miscommunication and people making risky choices that left people with some hurt.

Again, I may change my mind with further evidence presented, but that's how it feels to me.

[chromatoghosts]

man i remember when nevermore first came out i was sad it was so underrated.. but now after all the drama, i wish it had stayed underrated, because a big fanbase (especially one with a lot of minors) ALWAYS brings drama

[yardsards]

people love an "i'll take care of you" "it's rotten work" "not to me, not if it's you" character dynamic until the character who needs to be taken care of is disabled. then it's supposedly fucked up and toxic for a person to have to take care of someone else.

[izzyspussy]

okay so for the other thing i said in the tags hwqoghks. the way mickey punches that guy so hard he flips over. absolutely unnecessary btw.

but just as importantly. the way ian laughs at that. and the way he grins to himself when the guy insults him because he knows mickey's gonna be his black knight about it lmao.

[jeanmoreaue]

i’m so curious to know what Kevin’s mother was like lol did she purposely leave Kevin in the care of Tetsuji? if she purposely left Kevin to the care of Tetsuji was she totally unaware of his true nature or did she just not care or ? is there a will somewhere that the Moriyamas destroyed where her true intentions were actually for Kevin to be left to Wymack’s care upon her death? what was a woman who was stringing along Wymack like? and did Wymack have his sneaking suspicions about Kevin being his son before Kevin told him so when Kevin came moping into his office that day in TKM, did Wymack feel sick to his stomach and the reason that Neil describes it as “going poorly” is bc Wymack is so upset at himself for not listening to his gut and therefore not being able to care for Kevin sooner before he went through a lifetime of trauma just like Wymack did himself? so many questions

[finexbright]

.

[shreddeddescent]

probably oversharing at this point ive been doing that a lot. very much had the experience of everyone ive told about this going "hey. im glad youre getting whatever that is out"

hmmmmm

[yantao-enthusiast]

can some fucking people stop being to celebrities like “oh this person is either gay or queerbaiting because their personality is making me interpret them as queer because they act ‘stereotypically’ gay and that if you act like this you have to be queer. so we’re gonna either force this person to come out via peer pressure when they may not want to or be ready to or bully them for acting a certain way if they’re not queer because that’s the only way i can accept these people acting this way.” it’s really fucked up, based on toxic patriarchal values, and plain homophobic. analyze these parts about yourself and put a stop to it. it’s not funny. it’s not doing the lgbtq community a favor. it’s an asshole thing to do and you better be leaving that shit in 2023.

[red-dyed-sarumane]

i need people to start paying me for every time they tell me "oh but ur arts so good ur wasting ur talent u need to do it professionally" wrong i need to do art to draw beautiful characters that not a single other person cares about while feeding every ounce of love i have into my work or to convey thoughts & feelings beyond words and to even think of doing otherwise is to deny my own nature "oh but u can do what u want and then sell it" why is everything about money to you why cant u just enjoy things at what point in ur life did u forget how to have fun

[lord-squiggletits]

Something else that makes me sympathetic to Pharma's situation is like. Idk if there's an actual term for this or if someone smarter and more academic wrote it about some real life context that actually matters.

But, so we've already established among Pharma stans that the circumstances at Delphi were blackmail/torture with no real way out that wouldn't involve Pharma being responsible for people getting killed (either killing patients for the deal or having everyone die bc he failed his end of the deal).

And I feel like while "he's still in the wrong because he killed people" is part of it, another sort of implicit part is the idea that Pharma should've been willing to take more personal risk, maybe even risk dying? I mean, Ratchet does ask "why didn't you just detonate it near the DJD" (to which Pharma responds that he did try to get Sonic and Boom to do it, but they refused) so like

Idk I feel like we do have this social notion of martyrs as a very romantic ideal, people you can praise for being so brave and strong and righteous that they ended their own lives for their cause, while you can also coo about how sad and tragic it is that dying is what it took for them to do the right thing. But at the same time I feel like in reality, having an expectation that people become martyrs is kind of a toxic social norm bc like. It's very easy to demand that others sacrifice their lives for some Ultimate Moral Good when you yourself aren't experiencing the same hardships as they are. And ultimately it is kind of fucked up to tell someone "the moral thing you should've done was risk your life/kill yourself" because asking someone to pay their life to do the right thing is no small request. And sure, the typical response would be to call them a "coward" for caring more about saving their own skin instead of doing the right thing... but again, death is a really scary thing and self-preservation is a really strong instinct, so it kind of feels like having this binary view of "you're either a Brave Hero who sacrifices your life for everyone else or a Dirty Coward who's too scared of dying to do what's right" is kind of fucked up?

I guess the best way to describe it is that if someone willingly gives up their life as a sacrifice to others, it can be a noble thing because it's a choice they made willingly, but if it becomes a Moral Standard that in order to be a Good Person you have to be unafraid of throwing your life away and if you aren't willing to die you're a Cowardly Bad Person, that's when it becomes toxic.

Idk, I guess how this ties back to Pharma is that he was never in a position where he expected to make these kinds of moral decisions/ultimatums. He's a doctor who doesn't even get into combat, his job is to heal and not to kill, he's behind the front lines in a hospital that's supposed to be a safe, neutral place for him to heal people. So in the face of suddenly having a "murder people on behalf of me, or I murder everyone you swore to protect" ultimatum thrust upon him, I understand why Pharma wasn't """"""""""brave enough"""""""""" to "do the right thing" (whatever that would've been in the case of Delphi). You could argue that maybe a frontliner soldier accepted the burden of possibly dying for their cause and they've become used to it as someone who lives that reality every single day, but I feel like for Pharma, who's a doctor and a protected non-combatant (from what we can tell), that sort of risking of his life/living with the fact his life could be snuffed out any day isn't something he would've been prepared for at all.

And for me personally, from an outsider's perspective, it strikes me as kind of unethical to go "oh well he should've just detonated the bomb himself even if it killed him" bc again, there's a difference between witnessing a moral conundrum as a bystander versus being the person living with it and being under time pressure where it's do-or-die. Just as part of my personal standards, I feel like death is such a huge consequence/burden of someone's actions (literally you are no longer alive, any potential you had left is cut short, you cease to exist on this plane) that it feels rather callous to go "Well you should've just been willing to die for your beliefs if you really cared that much!!!"

[dw-flagler]

funny how much victoria places squarely on the shoulders of tattletale. she COULD HAVE STOPPED THE ENDBRINGERS AT ANY TIME but she DIDN’T just so that leviathan could KILL MY FAMILY. honey you sound insane.

[lokh]

skin and hair texture going back to how it was pre T

[trans-axolotl]

have not left bed today + found out another friend got locked up + want to beat up every single adult that saw what was happening to me and looked away or actively made it worse

[maggotmoment]

Slimecicle (to Bizly): is guilt and remorse over this-is this like a surprising feeling for Shilo? Over-over taking these people in and leaving them there? Bizly: I think like.....weirdly less guilt then I would have expected to feel? Because there is so much going on that I don't think he'd really even feel as bad as he would've just normally. Slimecicle: okay. Bizly: and maybe he feels guilty for not feeling guilty.

^ moment from the beginning of ep 7 right when shilo realizes he left all those old ppl at the warehouse with spider gabriel. Which like...he doesn't feel that guilty! he maybe would have felt more guilty if he hadn't gotten hurt and emizel hadn't died, but like. shilo is somewhat self-absorbed, and I think he does-at least subconsciously-see his life-and maybe emizel's at this point-as more valuable then other people's. Which makes sense, of course you're going to value yourself and your family more over some random strangers, but he's the one who brought them there. So that they could what-help? they're a bunch of old people, what are they going to do. But its not like shilo has any guards to face the danger for him, so he has to find replacements somewhere.