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starsinthesky5 · 1 month

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you belong with me IV part 2 || joe burrow x reader

description: being each other's everything is all you two have ever wanted, and now you finally are in every way possible.

a/n: first and foremost THANK YOU to all my anons and everyone who sent in requests and ideas! i appreciate you all so much and hopefully this lived up to all your expectations! i got sooo many requests and ideas for this particular fic and had so much fun working on it!! love you all!!!

second of all, thank you for patiently waiting! sorry it took me this long LMAO

edit: oh and forgot to add, there’s a good few references to superstar by taylor swift towards the end! wouldn’t be YBWM without fearless references!

warnings: language, SMUT. (there’s a lot.)

word count: 19 k

you belong with me master list (previous parts can be found here)

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(Direct continuation of part 1)

After looking at the photo strips for a few more moments, you walked back out of the closet and sat down on his bed, your eyes looking around his room as you tried to think of what you could do now.

While sitting there you noticed some things about his room that you hadn’t before, like how he hung up the star map you got him for his birthday up next to the picture of the two of you and his parents after the national championship game. You stared at the photo a little more carefully, realizing how you all looked so much like a family even back then and how much you and Joe looked like a couple in the photo even though you weren't.

“Missed all the signs,” you giggled to yourself as you then looked over at his TV table. Various small LEGO structures, a few books about space and physics, and some more photos were placed on the table. There were photos of him and his friends, some pictures from when he was a kid, and a few photos from the past few years which included you. His room perfectly represented who he was inside as it was filled with meaningful pictures, nerdy little knick-knacks, and everything close to his heart.

On the outside, Joe appeared stoic, hard-headed, and confident. On the inside, he was a full softie and the most adorable person on the planet and you were lucky enough to get to see this side of him which not many people did since he kept that part away from the world. You also got to see a side of him that was specifically reserved for you. The intimate side of him; his lover-boy personality, his unparalleled sexiness, and the part of him that made you weak in the knees.

“His duality is insane,” you whispered to yourself as you got up from the bed and walked out of his room. You made your way down the hall towards the stairs before backtracking when you passed his office.

You walked inside, giggling as you were met with a shelf filled with more LEGO structures including the one you got him for his birthday. “Such a softie,” you smiled to yourself as you walked behind his desk chair, taking in everything in the room. You never really came into his office so this was engaging for you. You never really explored his house now that you thought about it. You usually just stayed wherever he was since the majority of the time you were here in the past was when you were just friends and had no reason to venture around the house.

You looked down at the desk and saw his computer, his calendar, a silly doodle bob pen holder, a Bengals-themed Newton’s cradle, and then a framed recent photo of the two of you.

You tilted your head as you picked up the frame, examining the photo that you remembered him taking just a few weeks ago.

Flashback to New Year’s Eve

You were sitting on the couch in Joe’s backyard, the warmth of the fire pit in front of you heating you up as you sat cross-legged in your champagne-colored strapless skin-tight dress, waiting for Joe to come back with your drinks. You glanced up at the TV that was mounted above the Patio Bar where Joe was pouring you both a glass of Blanc de Blancs, watching the live view from Times Square as the ball drop was commencing momentarily. Your eyes then dropped down to Joe, who looked incredibly gorgeous wearing a cream long-sleeved knit polo sweater while topping off your drinks. He placed the bottle down and looked up, his eyes meeting yours which sent chills down your body.

He grabbed both the flutes and walked over to you, “You’re staring,” he said with a cocky smile as he placed them down on the side table and sat down next to you.

“It’s for a good reason,” you bit your lip as you gave him a slow once over. “You look amazing,”.

“I know a girl with good taste,” he shrugged as he stretched out his arm behind you and brought you in closer.

“You sure do,” you smiled as you laid your head against his shoulder after kissing his cheek.

“How much time do we have before the ball drop?” he asked as he gently ran his thumb across your shoulder.

“Hmm, about 15 minutes,” you said after you looked back at the TV. “I still can’t believe you didn’t invite anyone else over to watch,” you giggled.

“Why invite more people over when just you is enough?” he asked, a blush creeping up on your face as a result of his words.

“I appreciate the lovey-doveyness from you but I’m sure your parents and family members are pretty confused as to why you bailed from the family party and didn’t initially offer to have them over at your place like you usually do. They probably think you’re spending New Year alone since they don’t know about us yet,” you said as you looked up at the starry night sky.

“I wanted it to be just us tonight,” he said as he joined you by also looking up at the sky.

“Any reason in particular?” you say, turning your head to look at him. “You know I love your family and wouldn’t mind celebrating with them, even if it meant having to sneak away for our New Year’s kiss,”.

“It’s our first New Year together as a couple so I wanted it to be special and with 0 distractions. I want to start off the year with the one that means the most to me,” he said, turning his head to face you after he finished talking.

“Awww, Joe,” you cooed, giving him a quick peck before tucking your head into his neck.

He definitely had made the night pretty special. First, it was treating you to a delicious and impressive dinner he prepared all on his own (with some tips from his chef), then you both decided to make cupcakes together (with a side of karaoke) since you had quite a bit of time before midnight, then it was making a bucket list for the year filled with things you wanted to do together while the cupcakes were in the oven, and after that it was you two sitting on the floor for about an hour building the LEGO rose bouquet set he got you for Christmas (you both really loved your LEGO’s). At about 11:00 you both went out to the backyard and got situated by the fire while watching the New Year’s special on TV.

“We’ve had a pretty wild year haven’t we?” he said while letting out a content sigh.

“Very wild,” you nodded. “Specifically the final stretch,” you added, referring to the past month with Joe. “But it’s been the best year of my life and the next one will be even better…because of you,”.

Joe swore his heart exploded for maybe the 100th time when you said that. The fact that he made you feel like this was the greatest feeling in the world. “I love you,” he said before capturing your lips in a sweet kiss. “So much that it’s not even funny,” he said in between kisses.

“The feeling is mutual,” you smiled against him.

“This year’s going to be so much fun. I can’t wait to do everything on our bucket list,” he softly laughed.

“Me too. I think I’m looking most excited to go camping and road-tripping to California,”.

“I still can’t believe you’ve never been camping,” Joe widened his eyes and laughed.

“Listen, I don’t want to get eaten by a bear or kidnapped by some random man in the woods,” you blinked.

“What if that happens to us? I don’t think me being with you makes a difference,”.

“Yes, it does. The bear will be too blinded by your hotness to eat us and you’ll scare the random man away with your big muscles,” you teased while gripping his bicep.

“I’ll probably book us a cabin,” he nodded after hearing your plan of action if you came across something like that.

“Nooo,” you groaned like a little child. “I want the traditional camping experience. Tent and everything,”.

“We can still bring a tent and do that for a night but I think you’d feel more comfortable in a cabin,” he said while moving your hair out of your face. “Sleeping in a sleeping bag gets exhausting after the first night anyway. And there’s more privacy in a cabin so we won’t be at risk of being seen doing certain things,” he whispered in your ear.

“Can’t stay away, can you?” you giggled at his insatiableness.

“Mm, Mm,” he shook his head. “It’s like a drug,” he said as he kissed your cheek, referring to the intimate time between you two. “Can’t quit and won’t quit,”

“Good to know. I should probably change up my birth control then since we refuse to do it the way it was taught in high school health class,” you laughed as you looked back at the TV again, feeling Joe laugh beside you as you saw that the time was now 11:53.

“Oops. 7 minutes to go,” you said as you sat back up and handed Joe his champagne glass while grabbing yours.

“Time to make a toast,” he said as he lifted his glass in the air.

“Okay,” you giggled as you lifted your glass in the air. “But what are we toasting to?”.

“To us,” he smiled. “A toast to us and a new year filled with good vibes, lots of love, countless laughs, and even more moments where I fall even more in love with you than I already am,”.

You felt your heart swell while your eyes pooled with tears, none falling through as you blinked them away and spoke up. “And I want to toast to the same thing, but also to you,”.

“To me?” Joe asked, slightly confused.

“Mhm. To the person who literally turned my world upside down 9 years ago. The person that I’m lucky enough to call my best friend and my boyfriend. The person that makes me the happiest woman alive and the person that I can’t wait to spend every single New Years with from now on. The person that makes my heart smile and sets my soul on fire. The person that is my absolute everything,” you grinned.

Joe stayed silent for a few moments as he took in the beautiful words you were saying to him before giving you a small nod and a fervent smile, “I’ll toast to that,”. You both moved your flutes closer together, a small clinking noise coming once you finished the toast before downing your champagne in one big gulp.

You watched as a drop of champagne slid down Joe’s lip and slowly down to his chin, you quickly leaned over and slid your tongue along his chin to catch the drop, then pressed a kiss to the area after you were done.

“Ohhh, so we’re already getting to it?” Joe wiggled his eyebrows.

“Nope,” you giggled. “Not yet. Just making sure you didn’t get champagne on your clothes,” you said as you looked back at the time and saw that you had 3 minutes left.

Joe looked back as well and then stood up from his seat, extending his hand out to help you up before leading you to the open floor area. “It’s almost time,” he grinned.

“Yes, it is,” you laughed as you moved your hair back. “Our first ever New Year's kiss. One for the history books,”.

“Damn straight,” Joe said as he abruptly pulled you closer to him by your waist, the sudden movement catching you off guard.

“Someone’s eager,” you smiled.

“Oh, it’s definitely not like I haven’t been wishing for this moment every December 31st for the past 9 years,” he rolled his eyes.

“Well, you’re about to have your wish come true in about 60 seconds,” you winked.

Joe smiled at you before turning around to see the TV, the camera panning over Times Square and zooming in on all the couples getting ready for their kisses. Then he turned back over to you and saw the pure happiness on your face and the little twinkle in your eye that was even more precious in the lighting of his backyard. He still couldn’t quite believe this was real life. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to believe that this is real life as this all felt like a dream that he didn’t want to wake up from.

Joe took a deep breath before turning a bit more serious, “I love you. And I know I say it to you so often that it may lose its meaning but I really really love you more than anything else in this world and I’m so lucky and glad that I can do this with you. You make my world complete, you’re the most extraordinary person I’ve ever met, and you’ve changed my life for the better,” he quickly said as he gazed into your beautiful eyes.

“Joe…I-”.

“10!” the countdown on the TV said.

You looked into his eyes and felt all of the thoughts in your head disappear. The only thing you could think about was how much you loved him, which was more than enough to fill your empty head.

“9!” you heard as you felt his grip on your waist tighten.

“8!” you heard as you felt his hot breath against your skin, your arms looping around his neck as you both smiled at each other like two love-struck fools.

“7!” you heard as you felt Joe sway you back and forth, a soft laugh coming from your mouth.

“6!” you heard as you moved your hands into his soft hair, twirling the strands around your fingers as you continued to get lost in his eyes.

“5!” you heard as you heard Joe speak up again.

“You are the best thing that’s ever been mine,” he said.

“4!” you heard before you spoke up.

“I'm completely, utterly, and madly in love with you,” you whispered.

“3!” you heard as you both slowly ghosted your lips over each other, your cold noses nuzzling against each other as you looked down at his pink lips.

“2!” you heard as your breathing picked up while your eyes moved back up to his heated gaze. “You’re everything,” he said, just loud enough for you to hear.

“1!” you heard before you crashed your lips against each other.

“Happy New Year!” the TV said, sounds of celebrations echoing through the backyard as fireworks started going off above you.

You cupped Joe’s face and pulled him closer as he held you tighter, your lips saying so much to each other just like how your hearts were as they were so incredibly close given you close your chest was to his. Fireworks were going off inside of them, just like the ones that were going off in the sky above you.

Your tongues tangled in each other's mouths, the taste of champagne lingering which made the kiss even more intoxicating than it already was. He was kissing you as if he had never kissed you before; the way his big hand gripped your waist and slid down your back was sending heat throughout your cold body, the way his lips molded against yours was almost like they were specifically made for you, and the warm and comfortable feeling you got from him was an irreplaceable feeling you couldn’t replicate any way else.

After a few more moments of being attached to each other’s lips, you pulled away—both of you a little breathless—and rested your foreheads against each other, the biggest grins on both your faces.

“Happy New Year, Baby,” Joe whispered.

“Happy New Year, Joey,” you blushed.

End of flashback

The photo was a picture of the two of you post-kiss, the fireworks visible in the background as you leaned your head against his cheek and rested your hand on his chest (the hand with the ring) and both of you had the most raw and beautiful smiles on your faces.

You put the frame back down before pulling out your phone, clicking on Joe’s contact, and typing up a message.

You: saw the photo on your desk.. you move fast ;)

Joe: good photos and even better memories deserve to be shared asap 🤷‍ i also like having a constant reminder of you when i'm in there

You: have I told you how much I love you lately? because i realllyyyy do

Joe: maybe a few times but I don’t mind hearing it again.. but anyway, how are you doing? even though it’s only been a little over an hour ish since I’ve been gone

You: great! took a nice long shower in your bathroom which by the way, water pressure is to die for. you’ll need to get used to me taking hour showers because wow..

Joe: noted lol. what’re you doing now?

You: was about to head downstairs to make something for dinner but your office caught my eye first

Joe: you aren’t naked are you…

You: i was kidding when i said that, well kind of..but im clothed don’t worry

Joe: good to hear ;) and also don’t bother making anything for dinner. i ordered you some food and it should be at the house in a little bit

You let out a soft laugh as you shook your head, Joe was always two steps ahead of you and always made sure you had everything you needed even if he wasn’t physically there with you.

Joe: there’s also a bunch of wine in the wine cellar so pick out your favorite and have at it. just don’t get too drunk without me

You: no promisessss. but thanks for dinner 🥰

Joe: of course. im gonna go get dinner from the dining room with the guys so I’ll text you later?

You: okay, i love you <3

Joe: i love you x2

You let out a relaxed breath before slipping your phone back into your pocket, taking one more look around his office before walking out and making your way downstairs again.

You find yourself in the wine cellar a few minutes later, your eyes glancing around the room as you are a bit overwhelmed with the amount of wine he has. “For a man who doesn’t drink very often, he sure has a great variety of wine,” you giggled as you looked around for your favorite.

You smiled once you found a bottle of Malbec Rosé, sliding it out from the hold and exiting the cellar. Once you’re back in the kitchen, you pour yourself a hearty glass of the drink and sit back down on the barstool, sliding around as you think about what you could do now.

“Hm, I guess I could just walk around more?” you whispered to yourself as you took a sip before sliding off the stool and getting up, the speaker on the counter by the sink catching your eye.

“Oo, music would be nice,” you thought while pulling out your phone and connecting your music to the speaker. Once you get that situated, you turn up the volume and start your walk around his house.

“I'm no one special, just another wide-eyed girl, Who's desperately in love with you…” you mumble, singing along to the song as you walk past the patio door. You stop and look out from the door, thinking about how this patio would become your patio in a few short weeks. You’d get to have friends and family over here with Joe. You’d get to swim out in the pool with him and you’d get to sit by the fire every night in his arms while talking and watching the stars together. You'd get to watch the seasons pass by with him out there, seeing the leaves turn from green to orange and then covered with snow.

You smiled while taking another sip of your wine before you continued walking, this time along the couch where you both spent a lot of time together watching various shows and movies and sometimes just talking for hours. You looked at the 2 built-in wall shelves on each side of the mounted TV, both decorated with fake plants, some more photos, and some unique decor pieces that you remember helping him pick out. He always had an interesting taste when it came to art and decorations and the house definitely showed that.

“Can’t wait to add my own flair to these things,” you softly chuckled.

You continued walking around the house, this time walking past his special display shelf that had a few of his accolades on it. Your eyes went straight to the National Championship trophy, then to his Heisman, then to the few NFL honors awards, and then his AFC championship trophy. There was a large space next to it that was specifically kept empty because he wanted to put his first Lombardi and his Super Bowl ring there. Your eyes slowly welled with tears as you looked at all of his accomplishments, seeing how far he had come since you first met him all those years ago and how you’d been with him through every single one of these things. Your heart swelled once you realized you’d also get to be with him whenever this empty space would be filled with the greatest accomplishment of all.

You took another sip of your wine and continued walking around the house, taking note of some empty spaces where you could add something of your own. A few minutes later, you heard the doorbell ring so you checked the camera and saw that it was the delivery person with your dinner.

You placed the glass down and got the bags from the door before you walked back into the kitchen and laid everything out on the counter, the first bag was from Chipotle.

“He knows me too well,” you shook your head as you looked at the bowl which had everything you wanted on it. “How did he even memorize my order?”.

The second bag was from a local bakery you loved. “Hm?” you questioned why there was something from the bakery as you opened up the bag, pulling out a square-shaped box. You flipped the lid open and inside sat a beautiful heart-shaped cake with a white frosting base, tiny red hearts scattered across the surface, and a cursive ‘i love you’ in the middle all in red frosting.

“Joe…,” you giggled as you stuffed your face in your hands and then moved them into your hair. His thoughtfulness knew no bounds and he had a constant need to keep you smiling, and whatever he did always worked.

You pulled out your phone again and pulled up his contact, typing up another message to send him.

You: okay im this close to breaking all the rules and sneaking into the hotel and into your room

Joe: i assume this is about the cake? either that or you’re just horny as hell

You: its most definitely about the cake (maybe a bit of the second thing too). how hard do you think it is to break into the facility and steal the mascot’s costume and then show up to the hotel and get up to your floor without being caught? my idea from a few weeks ago still sounds foolproof 🤷‍♀️

Joe: i’d say you probably wouldn’t make it past the front desk before getting the cops called on you

You: yeah you’re probably right because they most definitely will think im your stalker or something 💀.

i just wish i could kiss you right now. you’re the sweetest for this. thank you 💞

Joe: you can make it up to me tomorrow morning :)

You: oh i definitely will

You wished you could’ve thanked him in person but there was nothing you could do at the moment to do so. After a few more minutes of texting about tomorrow, you grabbed your dinner, got comfy on the couch, and turned on an episode of The Office. It didn’t hit the same without Joe next to you, but it made you feel close to him since you were starting to miss him.

“Separation anxiety is brutal,” you joked, only partly though. Normally you wouldn’t be missing him like this but being in the house without him was making it worse than usual.

An hour later

After wrapping up your dinner and eating a slice of the cake, you cleaned everything up downstairs before heading up to the bedroom for the night. Right now you were in his closet as you were trying to find something to spice up your game day look for tomorrow and his jewelry collection was the perfect place to go.

Your eyes scanned his impressive jewelry collection, the sparkly diamonds and jewels were as dazzling as a million tiny stars embedded in the night sky. He had quite a few iced-out chains, some big statement pieces, and some simple more tamer pieces.

Your eyes stopped once you saw his large ‘9’ iced out chain, a smile creeping up on your face because you remember when he wore it for his Bose photo shoot last year and how sexy he looked with it on, his longer headband hair made him even more desirable. You obviously couldn’t say anything then because you were just friends and he had a girlfriend at the time, but now you could say and do whatever you wanted.

You picked up the chain from the velvet pad it was resting on, the necklace a little heavier than you expected. “How the hell does this not break his neck,” you whispered to yourself as you held it up in front of your face. You obviously weren’t going to wear this one tomorrow, but lucky for you he had a smaller version of the necklace right next to it.

“Now that’s my kind of thing,” you giggled as you started to place the necklace back down but stopped once you saw one of his hats sitting on the shelf across the closet. A sultry idea popped into your head, one that you’d never thought of for anyone before let alone Joe.

“I may not be able to physically thank him for being such a great boyfriend, but I can send him a little something to show my appreciation and give him a treat of his own,” you smirked as you took the necklace over to where the hat was. You put the necklace down and slip your clothes off, then put the hat on your head but backwards just like Joe did, and then put the iced-out ‘9’ chain around your neck. You were standing just in your lacy light orange bra and pantie set, the cold diamond ‘9’ resting right above your cleavage. You slipped off one of the straps of your bra so that more of your breast was visible, grabbed your phone, and walked over to the floor-length mirror. You got down on your knees and sat back, spreading open your legs a little bit to get a good position. You opened up the camera and snapped a few pics of yourself like this, then switched up the poses a little bit to tease him.

“He’s gonna love this,” you giggled to yourself.

For the last picture, you took the chain of the necklace and held it between your teeth, the ‘9’ now dangling as you slid the strap of your bra down a little lower, the top of your nipple now in the frame. You snapped a final photo and let go of the necklace which was now starting to hurt your neck. You had never done this for any other guy before so this was new for you, but you were comfortable with it since you knew it was only going to be seen by a guy that absolutely loved you to pieces.

If you told yourself 9 years ago that you’d be sitting inside Joe’s closet taking these kinds of photos to send him, you’d slap yourself in the face and call bullshit. But you shouldn’t be surprised you were doing this considering how ravenous you two had been around each other since the first time you two had sex about a month ago. It was like another part of you was unlocked by him, a part no other guy could crack open. You two just couldn’t stay away from each other.

Flashback to the morning after your first time

Your eyes slowly fluttered open as you felt a pair of warm lips pressing feather-light kisses to your lips. You fully opened your eyes and saw Joe cutely smiling down at you as he was admiring your beautiful face and tucking your hair behind your ear. “Morning beautiful,” he said with a kiss to your forehead, his voice more raspy than usual due to last night’s activities.

“Good morning,” you rasped, your voice also incredibly scratchy given how much you were screaming last night.

“We sound soooo…,” he began to say.

“Fucked out?” you giggled.

“Yeah,” he nodded, his cheeks turning a little red. “It was worth it though. A solid 2 rounds before we crashed,”.

“Did you have fun?” you smiled up at him, internally praying that he enjoyed this as much as you did.

“Fun is an understatement. That was the best sex I’ve ever had in my entire life,” he mumbled as he leaned in to kiss you again. You smiled and grabbed his cheek with your hand, moving closer to his head as the kiss slowly became more heated. His hands went under the covers and settled on the bare skin of your lower back, his soft and familiar touch making you want more as he pulled you closer to him. You shrugged the covers off your nude body and slowly hooked your legs around his waist, your lips still attached as you got on top of him.

His hands settled on your hips as you continued to share a feverish kiss for a few more moments. Both of your tongues tangled in each other's mouths; your hands were massaging the soft skin of his neck while he was tracing and lightly scratching your back.

“Hey, what was that for?” Joe pouted after you abruptly pulled away.

“Want to make it a solid 3 rounds?” you winked, your body still very sore but sizzling with anticipation because of the man underneath you.

Joe looked at you for a few moments, thinking about how lucky he was to be sitting here with you right now, especially like this. You two were sharing such intimate moments with each other and he had never thought that this would’ve ever happened, but this was reality. “I thought you’d never ask. I cannot get enough of you,” he grinned as he started to scooch up to flip you both over.

You placed your hands on both of his shoulders and pushed him back down, “Mm, Mm. You did all the work last night. It’s my turn,” you shook your head, the thing that you were implying making Joe’s heart skip a beat. Since last night was the first time you did this, you’d never been on top of him before and the thought of that happening was making him lose all coolness.

“Just take it easy. I don’t want you to hurt yourself and if it's too much we can always stop,” he softly said as he stroked your thigh, just body humming with anticipation just like yours.

“I love you,” you said as you leaned down to peck his lips before moving back up.

“I love you too,” he smiled as he put his arms behind his head and laid back, his bulging biceps even more prominent this way. He looked so good right now with his messy bedhead, swollen lips, that little purple love bite you left on his neck last night, and his sweet bedroom eyes. It was all making you even more needy for him than you’d ever felt before.

You grabbed his growing erection and guided the tip between your drenched folds before slipping it inside, a loud moan leaving your lips at the sudden fullness you were feeling. “Oh, fuck,” you whined as you threw your head back, still not fully used to his size.

Joe looked up at you and watched as you slid down his length and got comfortably seated. He was trying not to lose his cool but he really really wanted to flip you over and fuck you senseless because of how sexy you looked above him right now, but he knew you wanted to do this so he was letting you do your thing. You rested your palms on his chest as you slowly started to slide up and down his length, each movement sending electric jolts throughout your body as you could feel every single inch of him right now. “Joe,” you moaned as you picked up the pace, your manicured nails digging into his chest.

You leaned down and gently bit his thick bicep, a throaty moan leaving his lips after you pressed a kiss to the little bite mark you left. “Y/N,” he panted.

Joe felt himself getting lost in your touch, his brain getting all foggy as sounds of pleasure started leaving his lips. “Fuck, Y/N,” he moaned as he moved his arms from under his head and gripped your waist. Sounds of skin slapping against skin filled the room as you quickened your pace, Joe’s eyes stuck on your perfect breasts that were bouncing in front of him with movement. You felt and looked heavenly on top of him, a feeling he’d never felt before with anyone else filling his mind and body.

“Baby, please you feel so good,” Joe whimpered as he dug his head further back into the pillow. “You’re doing so fucking good,”. Joe was having the absolute time of his life watching you bounce on his cock as sounds of pleasure were leaving your lips like a prayer. The thought of you sharing this intimate experience with him was enough to make him let go right then and there, but the fact that it wasn’t a thought and was actually happening right now was what he couldn’t believe.

“You like that?” you smirked as you turned his head back to look up at you, the heat in your stomach rising as his hands wandered along your body. You felt him give your breast a gentle squeeze at the same time as you felt him hit a spot inside you he hadn’t before.

“O- oh my god,” you whimpered as you fell forward onto him, his hands holding you tightly as he pushed your lips against his in a messy kiss.

“I’m fucking obsessed with you,” Joe mumbled between the kiss, your moans coming out in short gasps as you felt him buck his hips into yours.

Every word that came from his mouth set your heart on fire. Every time he touched you, you felt electricity run through your veins. Every time he looked at you with those eyes filled with love and passion, you felt like his soul was hugging yours.

Every time you looked at him with the same love and passion, he felt his heart explode. Every time you touched him, he felt like he was in heaven. Every time his name left your lips, he fell more in love with you.

“Ah, fuck. Joe, you’re s- you’re so..” you whimpered before you went back to the kiss as you rode him into oblivion.

You pulled away and sat up again, this time moving back and forth even faster as he thrusts up into you. “Mmph, Joey,” you whimpered as you placed your hands on his, which were gripping your waist. This felt better than either of you could’ve ever imagined, both of you also mentally cursed yourselves out for missing out on this for so long.

“I’m close,” Joe groaned, feeling himself hurdle towards his pleasure; the feeling of your warm cushiony walls wrapped around him was the greatest thing he’d ever felt.

You nodded, placed your palms back on his chest, and bounced back against him even harder even though your legs started to get tired. Joe started to press kisses along your hands and your arms as you continued to ride him, “You’re doing so good, baby,” he praised, which sent you closer to your orgasm as the band in your belly was tightening.

“Joe,” you whimpered, your legs starting to burn as you slowed down.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” he said as he gripped your hips and guided you along his thick shaft, taking the weight off of you and giving you some rest. He then moved his hands under your thighs and started snapping his hips up into your soaked core, both of you just moments away from fully letting go. One particular hard thrust stroked your G-spot and had you screaming once again.

“Mm..Joe, I’m gonna.. cum,” you moaned as your chest heaved from the intense pleasure you were feeling in your body.

“Fuck, me too,” he whimpered as he snapped his hips up into yours again, this time your release washing over you.

“Joe,” you screamed as you felt the band in your belly snap and your walls tighten around him, your body falling forward onto him again. He drapes his arm around your back and pulls you closer as you moan into his ear, the aftermath of your release hitting you like a brick wall.

“Fuck, I’m cumming,” Joe rasped as he felt you move your face to his face, your lips crashing down on him as he released inside of you, the kiss being interrupted by his moans which came out in sharp breaths.

A few minutes later, he was holding you so incredibly close to him as both of you spent a few moments catching your breaths and coming down from your intense highs. The only sounds in the room are your steady breaths; the quietness and his warm body are incredibly comforting. You were laying your head against his chest, feeling his hand play with the strands of your hair while you lightly scratched his chest before you heard him speak up.

“You are a dream that I never want to wake up from,”.

End of flashback

Then it got worse (was it really a bad thing though?) after the first time you went down on him after you had one too many glasses of wine at lunch with your friends and he looked like a walking greek god when he came over to your place after practice.

Flashback to a few weeks ago

“You look prettyyy,” you giggled as you stared at Joe who was trying to eat the post-practice salad you made him but couldn’t focus on because of how intensely you were staring at him.

“Are you okay?” he asked, raising an eyebrow and taking a slow bite of the salad.

“I’m greattttt,” you slurred as you leaned back in your chair.

“Uh-huh,” he nodded. “What’s my middle name?” he quizzed you.

You rolled your eyes and laughed, “I said I’m great, Joseph Lee Burrow. I just had a few glasses of wine earlier at lunch with the girls so I’m a little tipsy,”.

“How many is a few…,” he bit his lip as he watched you struggle to remember.

“Uhh, no comment,” you grinned at him as you got up from your chair. “But I’m 100% sober when I say you look absolutely amazing right now,” you smiled when you walked over to him, pulled his chair out a bit, and then sat down in his lap and pressed your crotch against his. His big hands instinctively settled on your ass as you looped your arms around his neck.

“I’m really sweaty right now,” he nervously cleared his throat.

“I don’t care,” you said as you pressed delicate kisses along his face. “You look, feel, and taste amazing,” you mumbled as you moved down to his neck, licking a stripe along his jawline and tasting the salty sweat on his skin.

“What’s gotten into you,” he chuckled as he moved your head back into his view.

“Ask the media admin who posted quite a few pictures and videos of you from practice today,” you giggled. “You looked hot,”.

“Looked? Damn, am I not hot right now?” he playfully pouted.

“You know you are,” you said, sending him a heated look. “I’ve dreamed about you in this cut-off white shirt quite a few times over the years,” you winked as you traced his chest through the loose shirt that barely covered his chiseled body.

“Jesus, you are drunk as hell,” Joe laughed while throwing his head back.

“Shut up,” you smiled while grabbing his head and pressing your lips against his, the kiss quickly becoming more heated as he began to rock your hips back and forth against his growing erection.

“Mmph,” you moaned into the kiss as he was grinding you against him, the hardness underneath you sending shivers down your spine.

“I think we should take this to the bedroom,” he mumbled as he started placing open-mouthed kisses along your jawline.

You let out a heavy sigh, “I’d love to but I got my period this morning,”.

“That’s great,” he grinned as he moved his head back up to yours.

“What…” you asked, as you tilted your head out of confusion.

“I mean, that sucks because of cramps and all that annoying period stuff. But that’s great because it means there’s no bun in the oven,” he softly laughed. “Yet, at least,” he muttered under his breath, just loud enough for him to hear.

“That is true,” you nodded as you fell forward and wrapped your arms around his neck, his arms wrapping around you in a warm hug. You stuffed your neck into his neck, smelling his natural pheromones from his sweat which combined with the hardness you felt under you was adding to the tension you were feeling right now.

“But that doesn’t mean I can’t make you feel good,” you whispered in his ear, Joe’s heart stopped when he realized what you were saying.

“I….,” he trailed off, his heart beat picking up again and his palms getting sweaty.

You pulled away from the hug and met his eyes, flashing him a sweet smile before speaking up. “I’m serious, Joe. Let me make you feel good,” you said as you traced his arm all the way up to his face.

His silence started to worry you and you felt yourself getting nervous again, just like how you did when it was the first time you two did anything intimate. “Unless you don’t want to,” you quickly said as you started getting off his lap, but his big hands wrapped around you and pulled you back down.

"It’s not that I don’t want to. God, I want to,” he laughed. “It’s just…I don’t want you to do something if you’re not comfortable with it and won’t enjoy it yourself,” he said as he cupped your cheek and rubbed his thumb against your skin.

You grabbed his hand and pressed a kiss to the inside of his hand, “I want to,” you nodded. “I really want to,” you mumbled as you leaned forward again and crashed your lips against his.

After a few minutes of teasing him with your kisses and your touch, you slid off of him and got on your knees in front of his chair. You used your hands and spread his legs open before you looked back up at him, his eyes darkened with lust as he bit his lip.

You smirked at him as you leaned forward to pull his shorts and boxers, after which his impressive erection sprang free. You ran your manicured hands along his thick, muscular thighs as you slowly leaned down and wrapped your lips around his shaft.

Joe closed his eyes as he felt you take him deeper and deeper with each bob of your head, “Fuck, Y/N,” he whispered. You moved your lips back to the tip, pulling them off with an audible pop as you licked a stripe across his red tip, tasting the bit of pre-cum that was pooling.

He let out another low moan once you wrapped your lips around him again and slowly moved down his cock. You started bobbing your head up and down, more sounds of pleasure leaving Joe’s lips as you used your hand to give him a few pumps while you worked your way down.

“Mm, Y/N,” he whimpered as you felt his hands in your hair, your eyes navigating up to his eyes which once again were telling you what he was thinking without him actually saying it. You squeezed his thigh in response as you went back to what you were doing, Joe’s hands gently pushing you down further as you moaned against him.

A few minutes later, you moved off his cock and kept eye contact with him while you jerked him off with your hand as you used your other one to wipe the saliva around your lips, a smirk on your lips as you saw his blissful facial expression; the way he was biting his lips, his tired eyes filled with lust and love, and the way his hand was lovingly rubbing your head. You moved back down after a few seconds, teasing the slit with your tongue and licking a stripe down the side before you took him in your mouth again.

“F-Fuck,” he moaned once he felt the tip hit the back of your throat. He looked down at you with his tired eyes and couldn’t believe that this was really happening. He physically could not get enough of you; not now, not ever. Joe began bucking his hips up a few moments later, the feeling in his belly getting stronger as you got sloppy with your movements. His hand started pushing you down harder, your moans and whimpers being muffled because you had him in your mouth. Tears started coming down your cheeks as he started to thrust into your mouth and when you looked up at him, you knew he was close.

“God damn..you’re so fucking good at this,” he moaned as you massaged his balls using your free hand, Joe just mere moments away from reaching his high.

A few more heated moments later, you felt ropes of warm cum shoot down your throat. “Y/N…” he moaned while throwing his head back. It really couldn’t get better than this for Joe. He was already obsessed with you as a person, but now he was obsessed with you physically.

You continued to bob up and down his shaft, making sure to milk every last drop of his orgasm before you released him from your mouth, then swallowing his sweet release as you looked into his heavy eyes.

“You are insane,” he panted as his chest heaved, a thin coating of sweat on both of your skins because of your actions.

“I know,” you cockily grinned as you wiped his release off your lips with the back of your fingers before licking them clean.

End of flashback

After that, it was the two of you going at it in the backseat of his Porsche after a post-practice dinner with some of the guys and their significant others. That compression shirt he had on was sending you into overdrive and the way you were teasing each other the entire time was making it worse.

Flashback to the night out with your friends

You were in dire need of a cold shower right now.

You were trying so hard to keep yourself together as you were currently at dinner with Joe and a few of his friends from the team (who at this point were also your friends). But the man sitting next to you was making it incredibly difficult for you to act normal.

First, it was the fact that he picked you up after practice and he was just in his skin-tight compression shirt and his workout shorts, which he was still wearing at dinner. He knew this combination always made you feel certain feelings and normally he would change out of these clothes after practice was over, but he was doing this on purpose because he knew you were going to see it. The top highlighted his delicious biceps and hugged his body so tightly that his chiseled figure was on full display; he was mouthwatering and he knew it too.

Then, it was the fact that ever since you sat down at the table with your friends for dinner, he’d been sneakily teasing you with little touches and glances that he knew drove you wild. Nobody in the room knew you were dating so it should make sense as to why you were struggling to keep it together.

You felt his hand creep up to your thigh, his big hand seductively massaging the skin as you took a bite of your meal while intensely staring at him.

“So, Y/N. How does it feel being Joe’s honorary girlfriend,” Jermaine teased as he took a sip of his water.

You flipped your head from Joe to him as you felt your heart stop in your chest. “What?” you deadpanned.

“Burrow over here can’t seem to keep a girl around to save his life,” Tee laughed as he watched Joe roll his eyes.

“Correction, he can’t keep a girl other than Y/N around,” Ja’marr nodded. “She been with him since day 1. Why? I have no fucking idea but he’s managed to keep her around somehow,”.

“It must be because of…,” Tee teased as he pointed down to his crotch, your eyes widening and cheeks turning red at the embarrassing situation you were in right now.

“You guys are children,” Joe shook his head as he moved his hand to cup your mound through your skirt, your eyes widening again as you flipped your head over to him. Now was not the time to be doing this, not in front of everyone.

You grabbed his forearm and scooched his hand back over to his lap before speaking up, “Maybe the reason he can’t keep a girl around is because of his bad timing,” you said while shooting daggers at him with your eyes and emphasizing the ‘bad timing’ part.

“Um, ouch?” Joe raised an eyebrow and bumped your leg with his.

“Damnnn, even she sees it,” Jermaine laughed. “But Y/N, you gotta admit. You kinda are the honorary girlfriend at this point. They need to add you to the WAG’s list or something,”.

“She knows she just won’t admit it,” Ja’marr pointed out. “Must be an ego thing,”.

“Ouch?” you said, acting like you were offended by that. You then felt Joe’s foot bump into yours, but not by accident. You looked over at him and saw the smug grin on his face as he continued to rub his foot, then his leg against yours underneath the table in a way that sent shivers throughout your body.

“He wants to play? Let’s play,” you thought to yourself.

You cleared your throat before turning back over to face the guys, “You know, maybe Joe can’t keep a girl around because he’s bad in bed?” you boldly said as you moved your hand to his lap, gently grabbing his cock through his shorts which made him jerk up in his seat.

“No way,” Tee said before he fell into a fit of laughter.

“I’m serious,” you shrugged as you gave Joe a squeeze through his shorts, hearing him softly groan next to you. “Sex is very important to girls. The whole intimacy and love aspect of it is very important for relationship development,” you nodded. “Maybe Joe just sucks at it,” you smirked as you looked over at him, his cheeks flushed as he was biting his lip.

Oh, he definitely didn’t suck. If he got any better at it you would probably have a stroke.

“Damn, you really gonna let your girl do you like that?” Ja’marr said to Joe.

“She can do whatever she wants,” Joe said, giving you a heated look as he stared intensely at your eyes and then your plump pink lips that were covered with peach lip gloss.

“Whatever I want, huh?” you wiggled your eyebrows at him as you let go of his dick and slid your hand along his thick muscular thigh. “Okay, then I think the guys would just love to hear about how you almost threw up on one of your hookups back at Ohio State and how you had to text me to come save your ass while I was in the middle of a date. When I showed up she thought I was his girlfriend and he was cheating on me,” you giggled. “It was a whole improv routine, I swear,”.

“But you still came anyway,” Joe said, staring deeply into your eyes. “You always showed up whenever I needed you,” he said a little quieter, but his words were incredibly loud and clear. You always showed up for him in every shape and form possible, and now that you were together, that would never change.

“Y/N, we coulda used you down at LSU for real,” Ja’marr nodded. “You’re the only one that can keep Shiesty over here from completely embarrassing himself and the only one that can keep him in check,”.

“Ohhh, I know,” you grinned. “I do a really good job at keeping him in check,” you winked at the guys as you gave Joe’s thigh a loving squeeze.

An hour later

After the dinner, you both got into Joe’s sleek black porche and were on your way back to his house, the tension in the car growing as you two sat in silence and had not mentioned a word about the shenanigans at dinner. The only sounds in the car were the song playing on the aux–Kiss It Better by Rhianna–and the sounds of the car moving.

You glanced over at him, taking in his muscular and hypnotizing body. The way his jaw was clenching as he focused on the road, the way his veiny hands that you loved to feel on your body gripped the steering wheel, the way the tight compression shirt fit him like another skin, the way his thick muscular thighs were spread open, and the way his plump bottom lip was in between his teeth. You needed him so badly and the teasing at dinner made it worse.

Joe felt your eyes on him so he turned over to look at you, but you quickly turned your head away and continued to look out your window, praying he didn’t notice you looking at him but you were too late. He slowly swallowed as he stared at your perfect body. The way your delicate eyelashes were fluttering as you stared out at the road, your glossy pink lips that he wanted to feel against his so badly right now, the way your cropped sweater was hugging your perfect hips and breasts, the way your freshly manicured hands that he loved to feel in his hair and along his back were gripping your phone. You looked incredible and he felt a visceral ache inside of him because of how badly he needed you right now.

“Just take it on back, boy, take it on back, boy. Take it back all night. Just take it on back, take it on back. Mmm, do what you gotta do, keep me up all night,” you mumbled as you bobbed your head to the song, slowly turning your head over to look at Joe, finally your eyes meeting his heated gaze.

“You’re staring,” you whispered as you felt your heart rate ramp up and your stomach do a backflip.

“I know,” he breathed out as he flipped his head back to the road, the sign for the nearest exit getting closer as he switched lanes to get to the exit lane. You were confused as to why he was going this way since this wasn’t the way back home, but you didn’t say anything because your brain was slowly being clouded by lust and desire.

You watched as he sped slightly, his grip on the steering wheel becoming tighter which made more of the veins along his muscular arm pop. Your eyes then fell down to his lap, the tent in his shorts incredibly prominent which made you smile knowing the effect you had on him.

He quickly pulled into the most empty parking lot possible, your mind finally realizing why he was doing this and a gush of wetness pooling your core at the thought of it. He quickly put the car in park and turned it off before looking over at you, “Backseat?” he breathlessly asked, his voice thick with infatuation.

“Absolutely,” you grinned as you quickly got out of the passenger side and slipped into the spacious backseat of his Porsche, Joe following you.

“Thank god for tinted windows,” you giggled as Joe pulled you onto his lap, his big hands settling on either side of your hips as he smashed his lips against yours.

“I need you so bad,” he said as he pressed kisses along your cheeks and jawline.

“I’m right here,” you whispered as you leaned back to look at him, his hands instantly pulling you back forward as he smashed his lips against yours again, this time his tongue invading your mouth as he started to peel off your top.

You flung it to the side before pulling your skirt off, then returning to the kiss while you felt his hands wander along your back before unclasping your bra. You let the straps fall as he slipped it off for you, you leaned back again as Joe peppered kisses along your collarbone down to your breasts, lightly nipping and sucking on them before kissing his way back up to your lips. You began to grind down on his crotch which made him moan into the kiss, his fingers slowly peeling your lace panties off. You quickly moved to the side to get them off faster before coming back into his lap.

“Leave this on,” you mumbled, pointing to his tight compression shirt.

“Whatever you want,” he said, getting lost in your beautiful eyes.

“I want these off though,” you giggled, pointing down at his shorts and boxers.

“Oh, right,” he said, snapping out of his daze. He picked himself up and pulled both down at once, his erection springing free as you quickly gave him a few pumps before lining him up with your already wet core.

You smashed your lips against him as you slowly slid down his thick shaft, the feeling of him inside of you was something that you could never get tired of. “Joe,” you moaned against his lips, the way he was stretching you out was sending you right to the edge.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he whimpered as you started moving against him, his hands landing on your hips as he started to help you move.

You put on of your hands in his dirty blonde curls, softly pulling at the strands as you picked up your pace. You moved your lips down to his neck where you spent a few moments sucking on his soft skin which was sure to leave a pretty purple mark

“You feel so good,” he breathed out as his head fell back. You continued to move up and down him, the car filling with breathy moans and skin slapping which made you both even more desperate for more.

Joe wrapped his arms around your torso and started snapping his hips up into you, the sudden change of pace causing you to topple over and your hand to slide against the car window. “F- Fuck, oh my god,” you whined as you leaned on him, the new angle causing him to reach new spots inside of you.

“You like that?” he whispered in your ear.

“Mmhm,” you breathlessly nodded as he continued to rapidly thrust into your slick core.

A few moments later, you leaned back again and placed both hands on either side of his shoulders as you started to rock your hips back and forth. This new movement made Joe lose it.

“Fuck, I can’t..That’s it...That’s my girl,” he whimpered as he gripped your waist tightly, his brain fully fogged and the heat in his belly getting stronger.

The words that were coming from his mouth and the tension in your belly increasing made you lose it. “Joe, I’m so close,” you moaned as you felt your walls slowly tighten around his cock.

He moved a hand down to where you two were connected, the mere sight of that drove him crazy let alone the feeling of being connected. He started rubbing circles around your sensitive clit, giving it a few rubs and then a gentle pinch which sent you right to the edge. “Oh my god,” you screamed, your high hitting you like a ton of bricks.

“I’m close,” he groaned as he began snapping his hips up into you again, your walls squeezing him in the best way possible as the wetness below you increased.

“J-Joe,” you whimpered as you leaned back, your high still washing over you as he continued to push deeper inside of you.

“I’m about to cum,” he moaned as he ran his veiny hands along the sides of your thighs.

“S- Shit..pull out,” you panted as you looked down at him.

“Why?” he breathed out as he met your tired eyes.

“J-Joe, fuck…cum on my stomach,” you moaned as you placed your hand on his chest.

Joe stared at you in awe for a few seconds. He had never seen you like this before, but he loved it. He loved this side of you and he loved you. He nodded as he stopped his movements and easily slipped out of you, the loss of contact making you squirm in his lap, “Shit,” you whimpered as you felt your release seeping onto him.

He gave himself a few pumps as he watched you catch your breath, your gorgeous body glistening because of the light coming into the car from the street lights. A few seconds later thick ropes of cum spilled out onto your belly, the sight making you feel euphoric. “Y/N,” he moaned as his head fell back again.

You looked back up at him and grabbed his head so that he was looking at you, “Look at me,” you panted as you felt him release more ropes of his pearly cum onto you while the rest was dripping down your belly.

“You are amazing,” you grinned as you pulled his head forward and captured his lips in a heated kiss as he fell back into the seat with you closely pressed against him, your lips moving against each other in a sensual tango.

After a few minutes of catching your breaths and whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears, you spoke up. “Sooo, are we going to talk about earlier?”.

“I think we just did,” he smiled at you, referring to what just transpired in the backseat of his car.

End of flashback

Then it was your best friend Lydia (the only one who knew about you two since she picked you up from his house the morning after the christmas party) catching on to what you two were up to which resulted in you fawning over how amazing it was to her.

Flashback to the phone call

“Sooo, how is it,” she asked through the phone, you could practically feel the smirk on her face. “And I’m asking because this time I know for sure you’ve had sex with him,”.

“How can you be so sure?” you giggled as you fell back against your soft sheets.

“Nobody, and I mean Nobody is going to believe the lame-ass excuse you gave me about building Ikea furniture at Joe’s house as to why you couldn’t Facetime me earlier. You wouldn’t be caught dead within 5 feet of a hammer and an instruction manual. You weren’t building a bed, you were probably breaking it,” she teased.

“Lydia!” you screamed as your jaw dropped, you couldn’t help but laugh at the silliness of it all. You both were truly making up for lost time with how your relationship was developing, doing everything you wish you could’ve done with each other in college.

“Soo,” she said, expecting more from you.

“Fine,” you laughed. “It’s really really really good,”.

“Like how good?” she asked.

“Hmmm, as good as a bottle of cold water at 3 in the morning,” you smiled.

“Damnnn, okay Joe,” Lydia laughed.

“He’s so comforting and gentle with everything. He talks me through it all, says the sweetest things to me, looks at me like I'm the rarest diamond in the world, and showers me with all the love in the world. He always ensures I’m fine and wants to do it as much as he does. It’s just so perfect,” you said as you flipped over onto your stomach and started moving your feet back and forth like a child.

“Aww,” she cooed.

“But he’s also very good at everything he does, never makes me feel unsatisfied or unappreciated...There's a side to him that is less lover and more motivated by raw desire. I think if he got even better at it, I would have a stroke,” you blushed. “Just know I have a bottle of Advil on standby because…Damn,” you giggled.

“I love this for you. He sounds like everything you needed in your life,” she said.

“I’m really happy, Lydia. Like I don’t know what I did to deserve him, but I can’t get enough,” you said as you felt your heart skip a beat.

“Lovergirl finally got her Loverboy. All is right in the world,” she smiled through the phone. “You two are tooth rottingly adorable and sweet,”.

“Adorable, sweet, desperate, horny. We’re a mix of a lot of things,” you laughed as you stuffed your face into the pillow.

End of flashback

“Good god, someone please spray us with anti-horny spray,” you laughed as you felt yourself getting worked up.

You took everything off and put it back in its spots before you put your clothes back on and turned the closet light off. You walked into the bathroom to do your nightly routine of brushing your teeth and washing your face before getting comfy in his bed.

You pulled up his contact and looked over at the time, “He’s probably still awake,” you said as you clicked on the photos you took earlier and sent them to him. “Hopefully he’s alone,” you laughed when you realized how embarrassed he’d be if he opened these photos around others.

You turned the TV and put on a movie as you set your phone to the side, a few moments later the screen lit up with texts from Joe.

Joe: holy fuck

Joe: holy fuckkkkkkk baby

Joe: you look so sexy what the fuck.

Joe: you doing this to me knowing i’m a good 30 minutes away and can’t leave is criminal.

You: doing what?

Joe: Y/N.

You: fineeee. i just wanted to show my appreciation and since you’re not here this was my best option.. 🤷‍♀️

Joe: that necklace looks even better on you than it does me. and that hat too. god, you’re so pretty

You: thank youuu but that necklace was about to break my neck. don’t know how you do it

Joe: i’m glad you put it on though. you look hot as fuckkkk. i’m struggling to keep it together right now

You: settle down QB. you have a game tomorrow, save that energy for the field

Joe: just wait until after the game. im getting my appreciation in person too, i’m making sure of it

You: only if you win for me

Joe: you got it gorgeous

You: you should probably go to sleep now, you need to get your full beauty sleep

Joe: you’re probably right

Joe: i miss you

You: miss you too, J

Joe: i’ll see you in the morning. i love you and thanks for that treat :)

You: i love you more and of course. just don’t have too many scandalous dreams or you’re going to wake up frazzled

Joe: no promises.. i have hot ass girlfriend so my brain has a mind of its own

You: night joey

Joe: night sexy ;)

You smile as you put your phone on the nightstand and turn the TV off before turning the lights off. You got comfy under the covers and laid your head against his pillows, his natural scent lingering on them making you smile as you closed your eyes and fell asleep.

The next morning

You felt a pair of soft lips press delicate kisses along your face, your eyes slowly fluttering open as you saw Joe sitting on the bed next to you with a huge smile on his face. “Morning, sunshine,” he smiled as he moved your hair out of your eyes before kissing your lips.

You quickly scooched up and pulled him in for a hug, “Mmm, morning. I missed you,” you said as you pressed lazy kisses along his neck.

“How did it feel being the lady of the house while I was gone,” he laughed before kissing your cheek and pulling away from the hug.

“Good,” you yawned as you stretched your arms out. “I think I’ll do just fine here,” you smiled.

“Amazing,” he smiled before leaning forward and pressing two sweet kisses to your forehead, a soft laugh coming from your lips because of his sweet actions, and also because you remembered the first time he kissed your forehead. Forehead kisses were one of your favorites, so sweet and intimate.

“Why are you laughing,” he said while raising an eyebrow.

“That forehead kiss,” you smiled.

“What about it?” he questioned.

“Reminds me of the first time you kissed my forehead. Remember? Back at my apartment when you showed up with a bunch of goodies to cheer me up after the shitty day I had,”.

“Of course, I remember,” he nodded as he laced his fingers with yours and played with the ring on your left hand. “That was also the first time you kissed my neck,”.

Joe loved it when you kissed his neck, it felt so comforting and sweet; just like you.

“I never did ask you why you kissed my forehead, Did I?” you asked him.

“Nope,” he shook his head.

“Well, why did you? You never kissed my forehead, even when I had breakdowns worse than that,” you wondered.

“I kind of had a feeling that you were crying for another reason. A reason you couldn’t tell me about. You were crying because of our relationship, weren’t you?” he asked as he looked up.

You nodded, “Yeah..I was getting in my head about the whole thing and the possibility of screwing everything up and losing you,” you sighed, dropping your head.

“But you didn’t,” he said as he moved your head back up. “You didn’t lose me and you won’t lose me,” he smiled. “I kissed your forehead because I actually wanted to kiss your lips, but I couldn’t. I kissed your forehead also because I knew what forehead kisses meant to you and I guess that was my way of showing my love without actually saying it,”.

“Well, I definitely felt loved in that moment,” you grinned as you leaned forward to kiss him.

“Wait, but why did you kiss my neck? You’d never done that before either,” he asked.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I think my body knew how much I needed you before my mind did,” you giggled. “It felt right for some reason,”.

“I like that,” he smiled. “It feels right,”.

“Mhmmm,” you giggled as you leaned forward to kiss his neck again.

“You should go get ready. I’ll grab us breakfast on the way to the stadium,” he smiled.

“So early? The game isn’t until 4:25,” you said while rubbing your eyes.

“Yeah, I know. But since it’s the first playoff game, they want us there early. My parents are going to be there to keep you company too so you won’t get bored. You can explore the stadium if you want as well,” he said as he got up from the bed. “But I think you’d get bored of that since you’ve been coming to every home game for the past few years,”.

“Yeahhh,” you smiled as you got up. “It’s good though. I love catching up with Jimmy and Robin so I’ll be fine,”.

“They do love you a lot,” he smiled as he pulled you in for another hug, your chin resting against his chest as you looked up at him.

“Good thing I love them and their golden baby a lot too,” you smiled before pressing a big, passion-filled kiss to his lips and quickly pulling away from him.

“Teaseeee,” he laughed and shook his head as you walked into the bathroom with a smirk on your face.

A little while later, you walked downstairs after getting ready and saw Joe facing the kitchen as he was seated on the barstool and scrolling on his phone. He heard your footsteps behind him so he turned around, his jaw on the floor once he saw you.

You were wearing baggy black leather cargo pants, a tight skin-fit orange crop top, a ‘Burrow’-themed bomber jacket, and his smaller ‘9’ necklace. Your shoes were orange and black, a little ‘9’ carved in on the sides.

“Y/N…” he said as he got up, watching you do a little twirl as you walked over to him.

“You like?” you smiled.

“I love,” he said as he took in your outfit again. “That’s my girl,” he smiled as he touched the smaller iced-out ‘9’ chain around your neck.

“I hope it’s not too much. I wanted to make my first official appearance as Joe Burrow’s girlfriend a good one,” you said as you bit your lip.

“It’s perfect. You look absolutely stunning,” he said, sealing his words with a kiss. “I’ve dreamed of this, seeing you wearing my number as my girlfriend and not just my best friend,”.

“I’m glad I could make it come true,” you giggled. “Oh wait! I almost forgot something,” you froze.

“What? I don’t see how you could make this better than it already is,” he laughed as he admired your sick jacket.

You winked at him as you pulled up your pants, showing your socks off to him. “One sock inside out,”.

Joe’s heart skipped a beat when he saw the inside-out sock. He had been wearing one of his socks inside out since his early college days, a pre-game ritual that had become a tradition for him every time he stepped out on the field. The fact that you were partaking in this with him made his heart flutter, the fact that you remembered made his heart flutter.

“Y- You remembered,” he mumbled as he looked up at you with his soft eyes.

“Of course, I remembered,” you said while gently punching his shoulder. “This is one thing that makes you, you. You’re still the same guy you were all those years ago and the fact that you still do these things is adorable,” you grinned, your hand going into your pocket as you reached for something.

“Aaandd, almost forgot this too,” you said as you handed him a Caramel Apple sucker which was a part of another pre-game ritual of his.

Joe laughed as he took the sucker from your hand, “You’re incredible, you know that?” Joe smiled.

“No, you’re incredible,” you giggled while you kissed his smooth cheek. He meant the world to you, so doing these things for him was a given. You wanted to make today as special as possible for the two of you.

A few hours later

“Are you excited, sweetie?” Robin eagerly asked as she patted your leg.

“Very excited. I can’t wait to see him out there,” you smiled at his parents as you all were sitting inside the Burrow suite.

“Gosh, I still can't believe you two finally got together. We always knew Joe liked you but I thought he wouldn’t ever tell you since it had been so long,” Jimmy laughed.

“Joey always had a knack for taking his time with things. He always made sure it was the right time to do something, he was never one to rush things. And given how much he cares about you, him taking so long to tell you how he felt made sense,” Robin smiled. “He really cares about you. Just the way he looks at you says everything and more,”.

“The way he was looking at you the night you both told us just gave it away,” Jimmy smiled.

Flashback to when You and Joe told his parents about you two (a couple days after your sister’s wedding)

“And then she just fell right into the waiter and got tequila all over her dress,” Joe laughed as he finished telling his parents about your 21st birthday mishap.

“We’ve all been a little clumsy when we’re drunk, Joe,” you giggled as you absentmindedly placed your hand on top of his.

Robin’s eyes darted down to both of your hands, she looked at Jimmy through the corner of her eye, a smile on both their faces as they stayed silent.

“Don’t even get me started on the time I had to nurse you back from the massive hangover you got after Lydia’s birthday,” you giggled as you looked at him like you were the only two in the room. “It was brutal,” you smiled as you moved your hand off of his and rubbed his shoulder with your hand.

Joe’s parents had noticed your behaviors as soon as you both walked through the door. Ever since you got here, you both had been extra giggly and touchy with each other. Whether it was the accidental (but not so accidental) touches when you were putting food on your plates, the little glances at each other that you two had thought you were doing a good job at hiding, or the way you were laughing extra hard at everything Joe said. You were even laughing at things that weren’t even that funny.

They also noticed the way Joe was looking at you the entire time. His eyes were so clearly filled with love and infatuation, a look in his eyes that they had never seen in him before until now. He did a bad job of hiding it because he was so damn in love with you that it was literally oozing out of him and everyone could see.

“And that is why I don’t drink that much anymore,” Joe smiled as he placed his arm around the back of your chair, his hand just inches from your shoulder. “Take a page out of my book,”.

“Don’t need to tell me twice,” you said as you pushed away your wine glass. “I’m gonna use the bathroom real quick,” you said to everyone as you got up from your chair, your hand squeezing Joe’s shoulder as you walked behind him to get to the hallway where the bathroom was.

Joe watched as you walked away, his eyes filled with adoration as his face had the biggest smile on it. He turned back to look at his parents, both of them staring at him like he had something to tell them.

“What?” Joe laughed as he leaned forward to grab his water glass.

“Nothing,” Jimmy shook his head and looked over at Robin who had a skeptical look on her face.

“Okayyyy,” Joe said, a little suspicious of his parents' behavior but decided not to think much about it. “I’m gonna go grab something from my old room, I'll be back,” Joe lied as he got up from his seat.

He didn’t need to grab something from his old room, but he did need to see you alone and this was the best chance he had all night to do so.

Joe walked over to the bathroom you were in and softly knocked on the door. “Just a minute,” you said as you were fixing your hair in the mirror.

Joe rolled his eyes and knocked harder this time, “It’s me,” he said.

You rolled your eyes and unlocked the door for him before going back to fixing your hair in the mirror, “Jeez, if you had to go so bad why didn’t you go to the other bathroom,”.

Joe quickly slipped inside and closed the door behind him, locking the door and then turning back to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and rested his chin on your shoulder. You looked down at him through the mirror, noticing his almost tired-looking face. “You okay, J?” you softly asked him as you moved your hand to his hair, ruffling the curls a little. His sudden need to be attached to you was slightly worrying.

“I’m great. I just miss being close to you,” he said as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder.

“We’ve only been here for a couple of hours,” you giggled as you turned around in his hold, your body now facing him.

“I know, it’s just annoying not being able to touch you like how I should be touching you in front of everyone,” he sighed as he ran his hands up and down your arms.

“I know,” you nodded, feeling bad that you were being secretive about your relationship even though this was something you both decided you wanted to do for a bit even though that was coming to a close. Your family already found out (on accident obviously) and Joe’s family did not; hiding it from them was becoming difficult.

“But, this will do for now,” Joe smiled as he lifted your face to his, capturing your sweet lips in a gentle kiss. You instantly melted into his touch like you were a piece of gourmet chocolate on his tongue, your arms looped around his neck as you felt him lift you up onto the bathroom counter. You spread your legs open to accommodate his large body as you wrapped them around him, your fingers threading through his dirty blonde curls as his tongue invades your mouth and you two get lost in each other’s touch.

You spent a few minutes making out in the bathroom before you had to stop so that his parents didn’t get suspicious, even though they already were. You quickly fixed yourselves in the mirror before Joe opened the door for you to leave the bathroom, then followed you out. You both turned to walk back to the dining room but froze in your tracks as you saw both of his parents standing at the end of the hallway with their jaws on the floor.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Joe whispered to you.

“What the hell is it with us and getting caught leaving a room together after doing something scandalous,” you whispered back, this was the same way your sister found out about you and Joe. The Universe was really messing with you at this point.

“I promise this isn’t what it looks like,” Joe said louder to his parents as they walked closer to you.

“Yeah,” you laughed. “Joe, just uh…needed to talk to me about something,” you lied.

“About what?” Robin raised an eyebrow and looked at you both.

“Uhhh, umm,” Joe mumbled as he struggled to come up with an excuse.

“About a girl,” you chimed in, all 3 of their heads flipping over to you.

“A girl?” Jimmy gasped.

“A girl?” Joe whispered under his breath. You really couldn’t come up with another excuse? Now he had to lie about having some random girl in his life when the only girl in his life was you.

“Yeah,” you cleared your throat and said. “He needed some advice,” you reassuringly nodded.

“Advice,” Robin said. “Joe needed advice about a girl from you? In the bathroom? Right now while you’re at dinner with us?” she asked, still not quite believing you.

“Uhh, yeah,” Joe nodded. “I needed to talk to her alone and this was the best way. I didn’t want to tell you guys anything yet,”.

“Looks like we were caught though,” you nervously fake-laughed as you grabbed onto his bicep, your heated touch sending visible shivers down his spine.

“We really need to do better at hiding things,” Joe nervously laughed as he looked down at you, his arm moving up and wrapping around your shoulder.

“I know right? We’re too old to be doing this sneaking around and getting caught thing,” you fake laughed again as you and Joe continued to have an improvised conversation to hopefully get his parents off your scent.

You continued to go back and forth with the unbelievable lie, Robin and Jimmy both staring at each other with a growing smile on their faces. They knew something was up and you two were really bad liars.

“Would you two just get together already!?” Robin loudly said as she looked at you guys. Both of you froze, stopped talking, and your eyes widened.

“What?” Joe asked as he looked at his Mom.

“You heard her,” Jimmy nodded.

“I think you guys have the wrong idea,” you said. “We’re just-,”.

“Friends?” Robin interrupted. “Y/N, I’ve heard you both say that for 9 years but every time I see you both together, you look like a typical couple,”.

“Look at you two right now,” Jimmy said, pointing at your body language. Joe’s arm was wrapped around your shoulder and your body was tightly pressed next to his, both of you instantly moving away from each other once you noticed they were right.

“Ever since you both walked in, we’ve seen the constant touches and looks and heard that never-ending laughter from both of you,” Robin noted. “And I know you two have always been like that, but this is that on steroids,”.

“Robin’s right. You two are just extra happy and cheery around each other,” Jimmy stated. “Looks like a relationship glow to me,”.

“Are we not allowed to be extra happy without it being weird?” Joe defensively asked as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“You are allowed. It’s just a little too obvious now, you both clearly have a thing for each other,” Robin said, not giving up on her observations. “Joe, you literally look at her like she’s the rarest diamond in the world. I can see it in your eyes,”.

“And Y/N, we can see the way you touch him and what your touch does to him,” Jimmy added.

His parents really cracked the case open on their own; it didn’t help that you two were so bad at hiding your feelings for each other. You practically handed it to them.

Joe was beginning to feel antsy as his parents continued going on about their observations. They were talking about how it’s been clear you both have had feelings for each other for years, how they are incredibly visible now more than ever, and how you should do something about it before you miss the opportunity and regret it for the rest of your life. You were attentively listening to them, but Joe was fully zoned out and restless.

“Fuck it,” Joe thought to himself as he looked at you. “They were bound to find out at some point. Let me save them the trouble,”.

He used his hand to turn your head to face him and instantly smashed his lips against yours and kissed you hungrily in front of his parents, both of you hearing gasps and laughter from them as you leaned into the kiss. After a few heated seconds, you both pulled away from each other.

“Surprise,” he said as he looked back at his parents as you stood there speechless by his boldness.

“I knew it,” Robin shrieked as she eagerly patted Jimmy's shoulders and jumped up and down.

You looked over at Joe, your face still stunned at how everything did a full 360 within just a few seconds. “You’re insane,” you giggled as you dropped your head to his shoulder.

“Insanely in love with you,” he said as he kissed your forehead, his parents hearing and smiling even harder at you two.

“You need to tell us everything right now or I’m throwing all of your old Lego sets into the fireplace,” Robin said with a stern look on her face.

“Woah, no need to get crazy there Mom,” Joe laughed as Robin’s face quickly changed back to excited as she hugged you both.

“Finallyyyy,” she squealed. “You two are perfect for each other,”.

“I can’t believe you just did that. I thought our lie was believable,” you shook your head up at Joe.

“Believable in what dimension? That might’ve been the worst lie we’ve ever told,” Joe said as his Mom let go of you two and he pulled you into his arms.

“He’s not wrong there,” Jimmy laughed. “Next time, choose a better one,”.

“Well sorry, I'm not used to lying about dating my best friend,” you playfully scoffed.

“No need to lie anymore though,” he shrugged. “Time to openly show everyone how much I love you. I think I might buy a megaphone and shout it from the top of Paycor so everyone can hear about how I’m winning at life in the best way possible”.

“I love you” you smiled at him, your heart exploding at the thought of showing your deep love for one another to everyone.

End of flashback

“I can’t believe you guys came at us like detectives with your observations and everything,” you giggled as you sipped your water.

“You two just suck at hiding it,” she smiled. “But true love is always hard to hide so that makes sense,” Robin laughed as she looked out onto the field and noticed the team coming out for pre-game warmups. “Oh, looks like it’s warmup time,”.

You turned around and looked out on the field, seeing all the guys come out of the tunnel, then spotting Joe who was looking up at the suite.

Robin noticed the smile on your face once you found Joe on the field, she rested her hand on your back and spoke up, “Go down there and see him,” she encouraged.

“Are you sure?” you asked as you turned back to face her.

“Absolutely. They won’t mind. I’ve done it a few times myself,” she nodded.

You hesitated for a few seconds before getting up from your seat. It would be nice to see him down there before the crowds piled in and you were overwhelmed by thousands of fans.

“Okay,” you breathed out. “I’ll be back,” you smiled as you walked around the table to the exit door. You walked around the concourses and slowly made your way down to the field level. You walked through the tunnel and made it onto the field a few minutes later, spotting Joe on the sideline sitting on the bench staring out onto the open field.

He didn’t notice you coming over until you were just a few feet from him, his eyes widening and a smile popping up on his face as he saw you getting closer. “What’re you doing down here?”.

“I came to see you,” you grinned as you sat down next to him.

“You keep surprising me. Now you’re willingly down here in front of everyone,” he laughed as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his chest before dropping a kiss on your forehead.

“I mean, I'm going to be down here before the game in front of like 60,000 people. This is nothing,” you smiled as he chuckled above you. “Care to tell me why you were lost in thought just now?” you asked him about why he was staring out onto the field in silence.

“Just taking it in,” he sighed. “It helps me calm my nerves and get my head straight,”.

“Ah,” you nodded as you watched some of his teammates warm up. You couldn’t even imagine how loud the thoughts in his head were during game day but he still managed to go out there with the most calm attitude, you don’t know how he does it, but he manages to block everything out with a snap of his fingers.

“Just know that I’m proud of you regardless of the outcome. I know I said you should win for me, but I want you to know that winning or losing doesn’t matter to me at all. I just want you to have fun out there and give it your best,” you said to him as you continued to stare out onto the field, feeling his hand squeeze your shoulder as you continued to calm him with your words. “You are an amazing Football player regardless and will continue to set the league on fire for many more years to come. If you lose tonight, it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. You’re still building a legacy that nobody can undo,”.

“I love you, baby,” he said to you with another kiss on your head, his heart and soul smiling because of your meaningful words. You always said the right thing at the right time.

“I love you more,” you smiled as you kissed his neck and scooted closer to him, both of you enjoying this quiet and calm moment with each other before you were interrupted.

“Ooooo, Babbyyyy,” you heard a group of voices say ahead of you. It was Ja’marr, Tee, and Jermaine.

“We gotta talk about this later, Y/N!” Tee screamed over at you.

“For real! Y'all can’t do this shit and not tell me until a whole ass month later,” Ja’marr yelled.

“I called it,” Jermaine nodded. “Honorary girlfriend is the real girlfriend,” he said while giving you a thumbs up and a cheeky grin.

“You told them?” you asked as you looked over at Joe, both of your cheeks red from slight embarrassment.

“I think they could’ve figured it out if they saw us sitting like this, but yeah, I told them earlier,” he laughed.

“I can’t wait to hear what they have to say,” you blushed as you looked back over at the 3 men, watching as they teased you both with Cupid arrows and air kisses. “Ooooo, Babyyyyy indeed,” you softly laughed, remembering the first time you called each other ‘baby’.

Start of Flashback (early days of your relationship)

You were lying down on Joe’s bed, mindlessly scrolling through your phone as Joe was putting a few things away in his closet. You were so zoned out and unaware of your surroundings that you didn’t even realize when Joe came out of the closet and turned off the TV before turning around and looking at you.

He didn’t say a word and you didn’t even notice, you just felt a growing weight on your body as Joe suddenly crawled up your body and laid on top of you. You lifted your arms out of the way to look at him, his head instantly finding his home on your chest as he wrapped his arms loosely around your torso.

You placed your phone to the side as you wrapped your arms around him, one hand playing with the soft strands of his hair while the other one was rubbing his back. “You okay, J?” you softly asked him as you looked down at his adorable face, the ‘out of nowhere’ cuddling a new thing for you.

“Mhm,” he cutely mumbled against your skin, dropping a kiss to your chest before holding you tighter and getting comfy on your warm chest.

You giggled at the sight of your 6’4, hunky, muscular, very manly, athletic, and strong Boyfriend melting into your body. He was already as adorable as they come but even more adorable whenever he acted like this.

“Why are you laughing?” he said while looking up at you.

“You just look so cute right now,” you smiled as you played with his hair, lightly scratching his scalp at the same time.

“Thanks, pumpkin,” he said with flirtatious eyes.

“Pumpkin?” you asked, your nose scrunching up at the cringe word.

“Yeah, muffin,” he laughed.

“Joe, what are you doing?” you giggled

“What do you mean, sweet pea?” he asked as he stuck out his tongue and laughed.

You looked at him with confusion before the lightbulb went off on your brain as to why he was calling you these weird names. Pet names, obviously.

“Oh, sorry. You’re right, honeybun,” you said, trying to hold back a laugh.

“It’s okay, Princess,” he smiled as you caught on to what he was doing, he used his hand to give your waist a loving squeeze.

You did like Princess though. That one sent butterflies around your body and made you feel warm inside.

“So how was practice, Sweetie?” you giggled as you asked him.

“Good as usual, lovebug,” he laughed against you, the pet names getting even more unserious as you both went on.

“That’s great, Studmuffin,” you giggled again.

“My god, we’re so unserious,” Joe burst out laughing into your chest.

“I know,” you giggled as you threw your head back. “But I like the pet names idea you got going on. I really like Princess,”.

“Okay, what else do we have then, Princess,” he asked while lovingly gazing into your beautiful eyes.

“Hmmm. There’s Bubs, Bae, Honey, Darling, Sweets…” you began to say.

“All those are cringe except for Sweets,” he laughed.

“Agreed,” you breathed out. “Ooo, what about loverboy?” you asked him as you continued to play with his soft hair.

“I like that, Sweets,” he smirked at you.

“Good, loverboy,” you laughed again, a permanent smile slapped on your face because of Joe. He always had you extra giggly, smiley, and happy around him. His effect on you was unmatchable.

“None of the other names feel super natural honestly. They feel weird,” you said as you pressed a kiss to his head.

“Agreed. I think we’re good with these ones,” he nodded.

These ones were good, but they still didn’t feel perfect. You needed something that naturally rolled off your tongues.

“I still can't believe this is real life,” you contently sighed. “I feel like I’m a pinch away from waking up from this beautiful dream,”.

“Nobody’s pinching you because this isn’t a dream,” he said while kissing your chest again. “This is all real,”.

“I love my life,” you giggled again as you felt Joe press multiple kisses to your skin.

“And I love you, baby,” Joe said, absentmindedly calling you ‘baby’ as he scooched up to be face to face with you, butterflies filling your body as he was showering you with all the love you deserved.

“I love you more, baby,” you said while pressing a sweet kiss to his lips before suddenly pulling away.

You just called each other baby without realizing it, but it was perfect. It was natural.

“Wait, that’s it,” you said as your heart skipped a beat. “Baby. That’s it, that’s the one,” you smiled at him.

“Baby,” he said, the word so easily rolling off his tongue. “Classics are always the best,” he nodded.

“And it rolled off our tongues without any pre-planned effort,” you eagerly smiled.

“Baby,” he whispered. “Baby, come here. Baby, where’s my sweatshirt? Baby, let’s go hook up in the storage closet,” Joe smiled as he tested out the name.

“Joe!” you shrieked as you playfully slapped his chest.

“I’m sold. I love it,” he grinned.

“Good. I love it too, Baby,” you smiled before you pulled him down for another passionate kiss. His arms wrapped around you as he pressed his body closely against yours, your heartbeats meshing together.

Sometimes home wasn’t four walls and a roof, it was 2 arms and a heartbeat.

End of flashback

“Where’d you go?” Joe asked as he rubbed your shoulder, snapping you out of your flashback.

“Hm? Oh, nothing,” you smiled at him as you played with his fingers. “Just thinking,”.

“Good things, I hope?” he said as he laid his head against yours.

“It’s always good things with you, don’t ever worry about that,” you smiled after you pressed a passionate kiss to his lips.

“Joe! Come out here, we need you,” Tee yelled over as he motioned for Joe to come out on the field.

“Sorry, Y/N!” he added.

“No worries,” you yelled back before you looked over at Joe. “Duty calls, Quarterback,” you nodded at him.

“Unfortunately,” he sighed as he got up from the bench, extending his hand to help you up. “I’ll see you in a bit though?”.

“I’ll be right there, front and center,” you blushed as he pulled you in for a tight hug.

“Make sure to wear the peach lipgloss,” he said as he dropped a kiss on your head before letting go of you and jogging out to the field.

“Would never forget it,” you yelled out to him, watching him look back at you with an enamored look on his face.

An hour later - Game Time

“Deep breath in, Deep breath out,” you thought to yourself as Joe’s parents led you down to the sideline family section. The air was electric, buzzing with the collective energy of thousands of fans. The shouting, cheers, and chants blend into a beautiful symphony of sound that vibrates through your chest.

The bright lights seem to follow you with every step as you walk down onto the field, walking past the screaming fans on one side and the football staff on the other. You were used to all of this considering you’d been a part of his football journey since day 1, but this time it felt different. The sea of people around you felt a tad overwhelming but incredibly exhilarating. There’s a sense of being both tiny and monumental at the same time–part of something much larger than yourself, yet with all eyes on you.

“They should be coming out any minute now,” Robin said once you reached the roped-off family section from where you could see the entire field. “How are you doing?” she asked, noticing your slightly overwhelmed facial expression.

“Good,” you breathed out. “I can feel all the eyes on me though,” you giggled.

“I think your outfit might have something to do with that,” she smiled as she rubbed your back. “They can see that his girlfriend came to play today,”.

“Yeah,” you blushed. “She did,” you grinned as you played with the ‘9’ on your necklace.

A few minutes later, they started setting everything up for the players run outs, your heartbeat picking up once you realized you were about to see him and this was really going to set in.

“Fuck, I can’t forget this,” you whispered to yourself as you reached into your pocket for your peach lipgloss. You carefully but quickly smeared the gloss over your plump lips as you heard and watched the team run out. The crowd erupted as the music blared throughout the stadium and you could practically feel the vibrations underneath you right now.

“And the Quarterback of the Cincinnati Bengals, Joe Burrowww!” the announcers yelled over the speakers, your heart stopping as you heard the stadium erupt once more as the electricity in the air got dialed to 100.

“Here he comes,” Robin squealed next to you as she placed her hands on your shoulders and gently shook you around because of how excited she was for you.

And there he was.

The man that swept you off your feet, the man that completed your world, the man that loved you in ways that you thought were impossible. There he was running out of the tunnel and onto the field–and he was running straight to you.

You smiled at him as you watched him take his helmet off with one hand, using his other to fix his hair as he got closer to you. The crowd behind you losing their minds because of the detour he took over to this area of the sidelines.

“Joe!! Marry me!” one fan screamed.

“Have my babies!” another screamed.

“Yeahhh, get 'em’ shiesty!” another screamed.

“Ahhhh, he’s coming over here,” another one screamed.

You paid 0 attention to what was happening around you because as soon as you laid your eyes on him, everything went silent. It felt like it was just the two of you in that stadium.

“Fuck, he looks good,” you whispered under your breath as you gave him a slow once over, the Orange Jersey he had on was your absolute favorite.

Joe reached the roped-off portion of the family section and placed his helmet on the ground, first greeting his parents and sharing a few words with them before moving to you, who was eagerly waiting for him to notice you.

“Hi,” you grinned at him.

“Fancy seeing you here,” he wiggled his eyebrows. “Come here often?”.

“Nah, first time,” you giggled.

“Well, how’s the experience so far rookie? Is it everything you dreamed of?” he asked you as he caught his breath.

“Everything and more,” you smiled at him, and he flashed his million-dollar smile at you in return. “When you smile that beautiful smile, all the girls in the front row scream your name. Just listen to them,” you giggled as you heard the loud girls screaming his name amongst some other bold things.

“Okay, but I can’t take my eyes off of you, and only you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the only girl in this stadium right now,”.

“Please, I’m just another wide-eyed girl who’s desperately in love with you. Your whole fan club is here,”.

“Pshh, please. The fan club can go find someone else to thirst over. I have all I need right here,” he smiled as he grabbed your hand and pulled you closer, the rope preventing him from fully holding you. “Mm, this is a problem,” he sighed.

“Sorry, I’m off limits,” you winked.

“Nope,” he shook his head as he placed his hands on either side of your hips.

“Joe, what the hell are you-,”.

“Curl your legs up,” he whispered in your ear as he picked you up and lifted you to the other side of the rope, practically carrying you over it.

“Holy shit,” you widened your eyes at what he just did in front of everyone. You could hear the loud chatter behind you, everyone sounding incredibly confused as to what was going on in front of them.

“Not off limits anymore,” he smiled as he set you down and fixed your hair.

“I could’ve climbed under the ropes…” you said, still frozen in shock.

“Yeah, but that wouldn’t be dramatic enough for us,” he laughed as he met your beautiful eyes.

“Fair point,” you giggled.

“I’m really glad you’re here. This is all I’ve ever wanted,” he said as he turned a bit more serious.

“This is all I’ve wanted too. I’m glad we decided to give this a chance, well, more than a chance. I know it hasn’t even been that long, but I’m all in,” you looked at him with your adorably soft eyes that he loved to get lost in.

“I’ve been all in since the day I saw you,” he blushed.

“Damn, am I that captivating?” you giggled as you fanned yourself from the flattery.

“Do you need me to answer that for real or…,”.

“No need. You can show me later,” you winked as you watched him quickly look over his shoulder at the time, seeing that he had to go back to his area for kickoff.

“I gotta go,” Joe breathed out.

“Okay,” you nodded as you shoved your hands in your pockets. “Have a good game,” you innocently teased.

“Mm, Mm,” Joe shook his head. “Nope,”.

“What?” you wiggled your eyebrows. “You need something else?”.

Joe reached out and put his hand in your jacket pocket, pulling you into him as you stumbled because of the sudden movement. Your eyes were glued to your feet as you slowly moved your head up and looked up at him, “I need my good luck kiss,” he grinned.

“Fine,” you playfully rolled your eyes and sighed. “If you insist-,” you began to say before you felt Joe smash his lips against yours, his hand firmly planted on your ass as he pressed you closer to his body. He groaned into the kiss as he tasted your delicious lip gloss on your lips. He placed his other hand on your waist as your hands looped around his neck, both of you getting lost in the sensual yet sweet kiss and forgetting about where you were and what was happening.

You were sure that everyone around you was probably screaming, taking a dozen photos and videos, and probably screaming at you to get away from Joe. But you didn’t actually hear any of it. It was just the two of you out there. In a stadium packed with thousands upon thousands of fans, it felt like it was just the two of you there.

A few seconds later, you both pulled away, still holding onto each other though. You and Joe were both a little breathless as you both laughed at each other.

“Peach Lip Gloss. You didn’t forget,” he winked.

“I could never forget,” you smiled as you heard a staff member call out for him. “Oops, looks like I’ve kept you too long,”.

“The game can wait,” he rolled his eyes.

“Uhh, I don’t think that’s how that works,” you laughed as you threaded your hands in his hair.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he said as he dropped his head.

“Hey,” you said as you lifted his head back up and cupped his cheek. “Remember, you’re amazing and you’re going to kill it out there. Win or Lose, you are still one of the best damn quarterbacks to get onto that field in recent memory,”.

“I love you, Y/N,” he smiled, his heart beating right out of his chest at this point.

“I love you, Loverboy,” you giggled.

“Go get 'em’, Superstar,” you grinned as you pressed a final kiss to his lips.

After the Game

They won. The Bengals had won their first playoff game of the postseason.

Joe killed it, to say the least. He was out there playing with an extra edge, an edge many were curious about.

The only ones that knew where his newfound edge came from were the two of you. You were the edge he was playing with. He knew you were watching and he knew how much this all meant to you, he wanted to make it perfect.

And he did.

From start to finish he played an excellent game, one of the best games of his NFL career is what many were calling it.

Currently, you were seated on a bench outside the locker room as Joe was about to go into his postgame conference. You couldn’t wait to see him. Your phone was blowing up with messages and various notifications about you and Joe but you were holding off on looking at them because you remember he said that he wanted to do it together.

You pulled up the Bengals App and tapped on the live feed for the conference, your heart, soul, and face lighting up once you saw Joe sit down with a huge smile on his face.

“Hello, Hello,” he cutely said into the mic as he got comfortable.

“So, Joe. Looks like you had one hell of a game out there,” one reporter said.

Joe laughed as he pushed his hair back with his hand, “Yeah, I guess I did,”.

“Any reason in particular? Looked like you were playing with an extra edge out there,” another reporter asked.

“Just good vibes and feeling 100% all around,” he sighed.

“So, it had nothing to do with what happened on the sidelines before the game?” another reporter asked.

“Can they ask him that?” you whispered to yourself as you raised an eyebrow.

Joe let out a soft chuckle before responding, “Honestly. It had everything to do with that,” he boldly said.

Gasps and murmurs began to fill the conference room before another reporter spoke up. “Joe, we know you don’t really talk about your private life, but we have to know. That looked like one of your friends from college from what we’ve seen about you over the years,” they said.

“If you’re comfortable with sharing anything about that, we’d love to hear it,” another reporter added.

Joe paused for a few seconds before taking a deep breath. “Yeah, it is. That’s Y/N. She’s my bestest friend in the entire world ,” he nodded. “But also my girlfriend. She means the world to me and is a big reason why I go out there every Sunday and do what I do. She’s been by my side since day 1 back at Ohio State. She’s stuck by my side through everything in my career and my personal life, she never failed to show up for me no matter the situation or circumstances. She’s done it for 9 years and she doesn’t plan on stopping anytime soon and I do the same for her. I love her more than words can describe. She’s my everything,”.

You felt a tear trickle down your face as you heard him talk about you most sweetly and lovingly way possible. He truly loved you and wasn’t afraid of openly showing it.

His everything.

You were his everything.

–The End–

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow fic #joeburrow #joe burrow imagine #ybwm #nfl imagine

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infamous-if · 10 months

Text

Dec ✮ 12 ✮ 2024 – update

Part of me hates doing these mostly because it's a whole lotta nothing and me just repeating everything I said the last update (lol) but I do like doing it because I like keeping people updated, even if it's a non-update. I may sound like a broken record (pun not intended) but I know a lot of people don't catch my updates every time so it's nice to just keep people informed yk yk

✮ — Part 2 + rewrite

Fun fact: I had written an entire essay about my excitement for the rewrite and chapter 3 and beyond but it got too long!

It boiled down to me wondering why I'm so excited for this rewrite and realizing it's because I feel comfortable enough to approach it with complete creative freedom. I wrote the first iteration of the demo with the constant worries swimming in my head like "I hope people understand what I'm trying to say here" and "I hope this situation is being read the way I intended for it to be read." And I think I sort of had those thoughts tenfold while writing Part 2. If you paid attention, you can probably see where I was trying to shut down certain discussions in the narrative lmao

Recently I had a tiny epiphany and reminded myself that it's not always about what I intend to write, but what is being understood by each reader. And yes this is basic writing 101 but let me have this moment of clarity okay. Embracing that means I can proceed with Infamous without holding back and sticking to my guns in regards to what I want for this story aka I'm just going to write what I write and like....not worry about the rest you feel (while of course integrating the common critiques and suggestions and improving on the things Infamous falls short in—I am not Shakespeare lmao)

ANYWAY my point is that I'm excited to fix up the demo !!! and just go back to it with complete confidence in myself and write whatever the heck feels right to me (and write the rest of the story lolol) and return with a better story than I have now for everyone!!

✮ — December will be for

planning what I'm going to improve and squeezing that in a reworked outline so it can flow much better narratively.

Outlining Chapter 3 and hopefully have the bare bones first draft drafted up which is mostly just be writing blocks of descriptions

I'm not sure I'll have anything substantial to justify looking for beta testers so soon yet but maybe!

work on my spice writing babey writing/reading spice makes me actually physically recoil but im determined to get better! which reminds me to finish the 6k follower gifts!

And also take a small breather because I am moving!

✮ — Patreon

I've already mentioned this on Patreon and a few times on here, but I do want to reiterate that Patreon content is coming out in bulk this month, in case anyone was wondering why I'm not posting as frequently. The content is still the same in terms of the quantity, it just won't be released every few days! thank you guys for being understanding of that <3

✮ —

My activity has is decreasing little by little due to my move but I do read every question and try to at least answer one question a day. I get quite a few mentions lately so I have to sort through those since I do get tagged in things, but I miss them due to my notifications. Usually I hope for the best and hope tracking the tag puts it on my dashboard <3 im not ignoring anyone!

That's all for now! Hope everyone has a happy December and Happy Holidays!

#update #December update #Amy the chatterbox

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slytherinshua · 3 months

Text

TWS AS BOYFRIENDS

genre. fluff. headcanons. warnings. not proofread. pairing. tws x fem!reader. wc. 2.2k. (around 350-400 per member). request. requested by anon. a/n. whoo these were so fun to write but also hard lmao i hope you all like them and hopefully they're accurate.... I TRIED MY BEST!!

SHIN JUNGHWAN

junghwan is your own personal baby

because he’s the oldest in tws and the leader he can get tired of having those responsibilities all the time

he loves that with you he can be himself without having to worry about being responsible for anything

he’s so clingy he basically turns into a koala the second he gets home to you

back hugs all the time, you have to learn how to walk around with him attached

he loves to rest his head in your lap omg if you play with his hair he would melt

and don’t you dare stop once you start cause he will complain :(

he’s so soft for forehead kisses, he gives them to you all the time

with little whispered compliments as well sdksjdksfjs

he’s so attentive LIKE IT’S HOT HOW ATTENTIVE HE IS

he always knows your schedule and what you’re doing for the day

he always checks up on you and he can read you so effortlessly

it’s almost telepathic you are so connected with him

if you tend to misplace your stuff a lot, he will always know where it is

your phone, you lip gloss, you keys, your wallet, your jewelry

he keeps track of anything and everything just for you <3

he makes little playlists for you and sends you pics of anything that reminded him of you

you’re just always on his mind no matter what he is doing

omg his morning voice is insane

like his voice is already deep imagine how much deeper it is in the morning

drives you absolutely crazy and he catches on to how much you like it

uses it to tease you in the morning, junghwan thinks it’s so cute how you get all shy

but this man can also get quite shy from things you do

if you say you love him randomly he’ll blush maybe even stutter he just can’t handle it when he doesn’t expect it

and also his neck is pretty sensitive so if you kiss it his brain is gonna malfunction

you’ve made him buffer in real time if you do that he literally becomes frozen in his spot

you really are the best balance to each other, equally affecting the other and always having the other on your mind

KIM DOHOON

dohoon always knows how to make things fun and exciting

he’s always looking for new things to try out and make new memories with you

whenever he has a day off he’ll go out with you whether it’s to a board game cafe, bowling, shopping, or even ice skating, he’s ready to try everything with you!!

you laugh all the time with him, it’s like there’s not a dull moment

he takes fashion so seriously so he’d definitely love to style you

shopping dates are his favourite!!

would beg you to try on different dresses and tops, anything he saw that he thinks would look good on you

of course you oblige him

he loves matching outfits the most

he’ll take so many pictures of you two together with your couple outfits

he makes sure to not miss any of the accessories either

matching rings, matching bracelets, matching necklaces, he has everything

cause even though he doesn’t say it, he gets jealous easily and matching with you is a way for him to tell the world that you’re his

we all know he’s so shy and introverted, so while he loves to try new things, he also has a limit to it

if you wanted to do multiple things in a day outside he’d probably get so tired at the end

he also hates taking pictures outside he just feels so shy about it

he will take pictures of you, though, but you’d have to convince him a lot to take pics together :(

so you usually just take pics before you leave 💔

he’s so good at cheering you up as well

he’ll talk to you softly about anything that’s concerning you and he really gives the best advice in the world

he’ll offer hugs or kisses or whatever you need

will also sing for you whenever you want, even if he’s a little shy about it at first

he loves how you’re his biggest cheerleader and he tries to be your biggest fan as well

you’re both supporting each other all the time and sticking by each other’s side through anything

when you’re with him, it feels like the world was made for just you two

CHOI YOUNGJAE

he is the most caring boyfriend on the planet!!!

he always knows exactly how you feel and exactly what you need when you’re not at your best

even just a few encouraging words and a kiss from youngjae can make everything feel better

he can get so sassy out of nowhere— he’s not afraid to judge everything and everyone around him

even if he doesn’t say anything you can see it on his face

and he likes to gossip with you too he can’t help it

so you share all your girl tea with him and he gets so immersed in it

loves drama just as long as it’s not happening to him or anyone he’s close to

he can’t stand it when things are stressful because of unnecessary drama, it just gives him a headache

if you ever got into an argument with youngjae it wouldn’t last long

he hates conflict so he’d admit he was in the wrong pretty fast

he’s the mom of tws and he’s pretty mature, he definitely knows when a fight is worth it or not

it’s peaceful with youngjae 99% of the time

plus he already has to deal with his 3 children in tws

but even though he’s not as outwardly chaotic as the other members of tws, he’s still a lot of fun

he’s like that unintentionally funny type

he says whatever comes to his head and he’s quite witty with it

never fails to make you laugh, he’s just comfort in a person <33

he likes reading so he loves to exchange book recommendations with you or read books together

he’d annotate your favourite books and give it to you for you to read KSDKS HE’S SO ROMANTIC IN SUCH A SUBTLE WAY

he also loves to go on casual or more chill dates

if it’s a picnic he’d make food for you, or if it’s an at-home date he’d make sure to create the best setup for you to cuddle together

his subtlety and attitude towards dating makes you feel so at ease

it always feels like you’re enough for him, he’s never asking for anything else from you

you fit together so perfectly, you would never get bored of each other’s company

youngjae is just comfort to you, he’s your home

HAN ZHEN

hanjin makes life feel exciting for you

it’s not even an exaggeration in the slightest, when you’re with him you are always creating the most precious memories that you will remember years to come

he’s quite smart and responsible as he’s the oldest child in his family

he knows a bunch of random knowledge that you wouldn’t even expect from him

but i feel like he is quite chronically online so he learns a lot lol

he knows the best ways to cure headaches, he gives really good massages, i feel like he even studied how to kiss or flirt ksdksjs

we know he loves taking pictures but his camera roll is literally only you

he’s always taking pictures every single day, he just loves documenting everything!!

sometimes he’ll tell you to pose and he always gets the best angles and lighting

other times he’s taking candids which might be his favourite

he has pictures of you sleeping, he loves to tease you about how cute you look

whenever he compliments you he’ll fish for one back jokingly

but if you don’t give him one back he’ll get pouty and sassy too

but you just think it’s super cute

he sends you daily ootd’s and always asks for your opinion on them

of course he looks so fine in everything and you tell him that

if you specify that something looks good on him he will wear it again because you like it skdjks

he loves watching dramas with you and talking about them

you always have the same favourite characters

if there’s a plot twist (ay ay ay ay ay) you’ll both be shocked in sync

he loves to hate on the bad guys with you like you’ll be cussing them out together for real

you help him study korean as well!!

and by that i mean motivating him with kisses even if you don’t know how to speak it yourself

seeing how much he improves everyday is just 💔 you're so proud of him

and knowing someone is proud of him makes him work twice as hard :(

you’re always there cheering him on and sharing the best moments of your life with him by your side

HAN JIHOON

hyperactive playful boyfriend #1

he literally has two moods either he’s the sweetest most romantic or he’s trying to annoy you in any way he can

probably become a little bit too addicted to pulling pranks on you or teasing you in any way he can

seeing your reaction when he stole one of your lip glosses or scrunchies was a little too good because he started to step it up a bit further

but he took a little too far because he went for your food and that was where you drew the line

had to pay for all your food for a week after that but the boy learned his lesson

you still both enjoy a little harmless prank and you’ll think of ways to top him as well <3

and you both tease each other about everything

you’re always laughing together and are the brightest and most energetic when you’re around him

when he’s tired he gets so clingy

even though he’s usually the vitamin and the energy for other people, he needs someone to give him energy as well

and he just loves you so much he’d never stop hugging you if he could

he’s always so sweet when he’s not being mischievous

and he’ll always listen to your concerns and problems and take them seriously

he gives the best advice that he can and communication with him is so key!!

he gets excited about the smallest things as well which is adorable

your successes are his successes, and he is always celebrating you however he can

he’s dancing 24/7, doing tiktok trends, group choreo, or random tutting that he learned recently

he forces you to do it as well lol

probably laughs if you get it wrong but is also the best teacher

biggest cheerleader for you when you do it perfectly

he has so many videos on his phone of you and him dancing together

also some other videos that he took either of both of you together or just you :(

obsessed with candids like he just loves you when you’re the most comfortable and he’s obsessed with capturing it on his phone so he can look at it whenever he wants

jihoon is the sun for other people but you are the sun for him

LEE KYUNGMIN

hyperactive playful boyfriend #2

kyungmin always knows how to make things fun

he’s such a cute and lovable person omg he gives me cuteness aggression

he’s kinda possessive of you lol

he’s always taking your side of any argument and clinging to you

cause he’s so young he’s pretty feisty too

and he takes great pride in being able to call himself your boyfriend so if anyone dares to question him or you he’ll take care of it

he has so many little hobbies and interests, he enjoys practically everything

especially when you’re there doing it with him

he will teach you a bunch of different games and compete with you

rubik’s cube solving competitions, chess tournaments, basketball shooting competitions, bowling (he’s surprisingly good), even water bottle flipping

he really loves competing, he thinks it’s so fun

he loves playing on your team even more than competing with you, though

if you play any game with the other tws members kyungmin will fight to be on your team

he’s also a cheater in games against the other members skdjks

he’ll scheme with you on how to cheat and celebrate with you when it works

kyungmin always talks so highly of you and boasts about you to his friends

because he’s so proud of you he wants everyone to know that you’re his

he’s a bit shy when it comes to affection

hugs and holding hands are all good but any kind of kissing will get him blushing and flustered

he has to build up his confidence by starting with cheek kisses

eventually he’ll get confident enough to kiss you properly

it’s so sweet because you’re experiencing so many firsts together

he asks the other members for relationship advice and what he receives is a bit… questionable

he’s probably left with more questions than answers

but he always tries his hardest to be the best boyfriend ever

and in your mind he really is the best, there’s nothing about him that you would ever want to change

his youthful energy is so infectious you’re never bored when you’re around him

he’s just your adorable cinnamon roll of a boyfriend and he loves you so much 💔

↳ tws taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @seunghancore,, @sobun1est,, @talkingsaxy,, @talking-saxy

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edgeray · 3 months

Note

Hi Ray! 🍅 Anon here~

Have fun on your holiday and enjoy it to the best you can! Be sure to stay hydrated, the weather is really mental these days.

Just wanted to share a bit of brainrot I had regarding soft Arle, whether or not you choose to make it into a fic is up to you!

Arle with her frame and demeanor is most definitely the Top + Dom in the relationship with reader, but how about when she’s insecure? Seeing reader take care of the children and feeling as though she doesn’t deserve to be as loved as said children, then reader after putting the kids to bed embraces Arle and puts her head against their chest so Arle can hear their heartbeat more clearly while patting Arle and assuring her that they love her for her and that she DEFINITELY deserves to be spoilt… (reader knows Arle too well to not pick up on her tells and knows that Arle’s being harsh on herself)

Or maybe reader writing in to the Tsaritsa (without Arle knowing) to ask if Arle can take a 2 week break just to take care of the children and spend time as a couple (What if!! Tsaritsa was the one who wed them!!! And just closes both eyes and approves time off). Then reader proceeds to spoil Arle in every way possible - breakfast in bed, a warm bath after sparring with the children (no, not that kind of bath, but a fluffy one where Arle gets a shoulder massage and scrubbed clean and gets lots of loving kisses everywhere she’s insecure of), a feast of sashimi and steak tartare for dinner and a soft bed and loving wife in the night. I wanna spoil Arle like that but 😭

Oh! And since Harbingers are like celebrities in Snezhnaya, do you think Arle would have a fanclub there? Think about it! She’s young, has a boatload of money (you CANNOT convince me #4 doesn’t have money when #11 has an unimaginable sum at the bank), can handle kids well (she runs the HotH), and as a Harbinger who fights she probably is ripped (RIP her actual body proportions, they’re limited by Hoyo’s models, nobody is convincing me her body type isn’t like Lady Maria’s from Bloodborne, with abs, guns and muscular. Thighs.)

0 chance that she doesn’t have a line of sapphics lining up for her in Snezhnaya, even with the rumors of her being ruthless and cruel (I mean. If the rumors worked in making people back off. Arle simps like us wouldn’t exist to begin with lmao)… Imagine Arle trying to placate Jealous!Teasing!Reader!! Like Arle coming home on Valentine’s day a bit late to find reader teasing her about having a new lover meanwhile Arle was actually out buying a new dagger for reader to protect themselves with… reader being melodramatic because she knows and trusts Arle enough that Arle would never do anything like that (and Arle knows but plays along)

R: “Oh, woe is me! My wife came home late on Valentine’s with a dagger to end our relationship, whatever should I do?”

Arle: “My love…”

And if the children are around? They’d be busy either pretending they didn’t see anything or resisting the urge to claw their eyes out or handing each other eye bleach. Sending condolences to Lyney when one of the younger children ask something along the lines of

“Brother Lyney, do you think we’ll have another sibling soon if Father and Mother are this loving with each other”

(I headcanon that Arle does teach them sexuality education but not until they’re 10 and before that the older children tell their younger siblings that children pop into existence when Papa and Mama love each other lots)

I’m so sorry this is getting really out of hand but Arle has me in a brainrot when I should be focusing elsewhere 💀

Rest Your Worries, Lax Your Heart

(Arlecchino x GN! Reader)

A/N - Thank you, I did have a fun vacation :). Wow that is a lot and I love every single bit of this ask 🍅 anon. It'd be unfair if I just wrote one part and not all of them, so what did I do? Combined all of them as best as I can, but of course some details had to be omitted/changed because of that–hopefully you don't mind. I'm a fucking genius. Also considering that Arle has an anime, but never got a beach episode, this is said beach episode. This took so long because this turned out to be pretty self-indulgent (I'm sure you know which scene it was). This is a long boi, way over what the request range is supposed to be, but hope this is worth it? Somehow, my brain was able to focus for at least like… 4 hours. Started this at 23:00 something, and it's nearly 04:00. 🍅 anon, I enjoy your asks, so I hope you personally enjoy this one :) Content warnings / info - a bit of suggestiveness, reader is referred to as ‘Mother’ but is otherwise gn!, 3.2k words

It took a lot of back and forth over the span of four months, writing to the Tsaritsa, but you had finally been able to arrange this without the knowledge of your husband. The Archon, generous as she is, approved of your proposal for a two week long break without much pushback or questioning, saying that loyalty was rewarded and as one of her more productive Harbingers, Arlecchino’s efforts warrant her a break. All the Tsaritsa asked for was the general details of the vacation: when, where, and the activities you would be doing, which was easy enough to answer to. Surprisingly, she bought an entire section of the Sumeru coast along with a sizable cabin for the two of you and the children for the duration of your respite when you told where you plan on the location being. You're not one to turn down such a gracious offer so you accepted it. As a Pyro user, she would surely enjoy somewhere as warm as Sumeru.

Currently, you're holding the letter from the Tsaritsa, which contains a direct order from the Archon addressed to Arlecchino to stay at Sumeru. No matter how much you plead for her to rest, your husband only says that she can keep working and for you to not worry. Tracing the envelope stamp, you breathe in deeply before knocking on the door.

“Yes?” Called from beyond the door.

“Can I come in, Arle?”

“Yes, my love,” she says with a lilt.

You come in, striding towards her, holding up the back of the envelope while trying to suppress your smile. “This was addressed for you.”

Arlecchino takes it with a bit of suspicion at the crack in your facial expression. Turning it over, she notices the stamp, which is the mark of the word of the Archon. She narrows her brows and takes out a letter opener, taking out the letter with a bit more urgency. You watch her expression morph from confusion to mild shock to indifference again.

“What does it say?” You inquire her, biting your lip to hide the smile.

“It says that I'm going to Sumeru in three days. For a respite.” She eyes you carefully, her eyes glinting red. “But you seem to know that already.”

You nod, a smile forming . “I thought… you were working so hard, and you deserve a break. I asked the Tsaritsa if it was possible and she agreed to it, even paying for our stay there.”

Arlecchino's face flicks to something indecipherable, like there was a hesitation, but it quickly disappears before you can think too much on it. She gets up from her desk chair, strutting to you before wrapping her arms around your midsection, pulling you into an embrace. She presses a tender kiss against your forehead. “Thank you, my dear, for your thinking of me. I'm sure the children would appreciate being out of the House. I'll tell the children about this, and we should begin packing.”

But does she appreciate it? It's for her, after all. You chew on the inside of your cheek but your smile remains in place.

You tilt your head up to kiss her cheek. “I already packed for us. And I told the kids, already.”

“Hm, that's why they seem so antsy lately. Thank you,” Arlecchino hums. “You picked for us already?”

“Yes. Including your clothes,” you chuckle, deviously imagining her in the attires you picked out for her. At that, she raises her eyebrows.

“Oh? What are you planning, my love?” She teases, seizing your chin in her hands and tilting your head up to lock her eyes with yours. You can't stop the giggle that bubbles out.

“Nothing too… scandalous…” you answer back. “Don't worry, it's nothing too bad. This is all for you to relax, remember? You've been working so hard, been such a good husband, so…”

You lean forward to kiss her on the mouth. Whispering against her lips, you say, “As your partner, it's my duty to make sure you're happy. Isn't that right?”

If she physically could at that moment, Arlecchino would melt underneath your words.

—

Upon your arrival at Sumeru, you were glad you picked the outfits that you did. Travel with around twenty kids was difficult, but luckily the older kids, the twins and Freminet especially, helped a lot. Everyone was practically vibrating in excitement, with the exception of Arlecchino, though you knew it was mostly because of how inexpressive she usually was.

Right?

Currently, the two of you lay on the sand by the crystal clear waters, enjoying the sight of the children playing. The little ones are playing in the sand, presumably sculpting a castle, and the older ones are either engaging in a heated battle involving smacking a ball around or with Freminent in the ocean. Here, you forget that they’re a part of the Fatui, child soldiers for the Tsaritsa; here, they look like normal children and it makes your heart swell.

Unfortunately, you're stuck in a dilemma–observe your children and take in their contagious laughter, or ogle your husband who is in the most delicious and mouth-watering attire possible. Underneath her short gray collarless jacket, was a cropped, sleeveless turtleneck that exposed her lower half of her toned stomach, including her v-line. Below are tight, black leggings which do little in hiding her muscular thighs. Everytime you look at her, a flush runs to your cheeks and you find yourself too flustered for your stare to linger because of the growing amount of indecent thoughts. You breathe deeply in an attempt to calm the raging storms of desire in your stomach, distracting yourself by observing the waves and digging your feet in the sand. For the sake of your children, you'd like for your mind to be as pure as possible.

Blackened arms wrap around your waist, pulling you into a lap. You squeal at the sudden contact. Your husband's mouth hovers beside your ear, hot breath brushing against the shell of your ear.

“Something interesting?” Arlecchino huskily whispers, making you shudder. One hand strokes over your stomach, invoking shivers from you. You inhale sharply before glancing at Arlecchino's face.

“Just… watching the waves. It's calming,” you lie quickly, wondering if your racing heartbeat can be felt underneath her fingertips.

“Your heart says otherwise,” she chuckles, turning your head over your shoulder so she can kiss you.

After a few moments, you pull away from the kiss, and your eyes flick over to the children in the sand, still tossing around that ball over a net. “Why don't you join them? I'm sure they would love it if their Father joined their game.”

“My dear, I would destroy them,” Arlecchino bluntly remarks, and you chuckle.

“Fair enough, I suppose.”

The two of you watch them in silence until Arlecchino breaks the silence.

“I like what you picked for me.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Your reaction is adorable.”

Something white-hot pricks the back of your neck. “I-I'm glad you like it. I like it too,” you stammer out, your abashment evident in your voice.

“I can tell. Perhaps… you'd like to help me put on sun protection?” Arlecchino teases with a small smirk, removing her jacket off to reveal her lean biceps. “Over the pants, if that's alright.”

This handsome–sexy–woman is going to be the death of you, you’re sure of it. Your heart is going into overdrive, and you would be terrified of going into a stroke if you aren't more focused on your husband's physique. If it's not your heart that's going to kill you, it's the pending combustion inside of you. You squeeze your thighs against one another, pooling heat forming between your legs.

“Y-yeah, sure,” you manage in between your laboring breathing, getting off of her lap to face her. Spreading the paste in your hand, you first venture over her neck, tenderly rubbing over her throat and then her nape, down to her sides. Her skin is hot to the touch, as expected of a Pyro user, but it somehow retains softness and flawlessness despite all the combat and harshness your husband deals with as a Fatui Harbinger. Still, unlike her composed facial features, you can feel that her pulse is as frenzied as yours–it gives you comfort that you’re not the only one feeling this. Your husband hums with contentment, watching you carefully.

Next, you slide your hands over to her broad shoulders before feeling down her upper arm, deliberate attention to her biceps. A shuddering breath comes from you as she shifts, extending her arms more out towards you. You trace down the markings of her arm before caressing her inky elbow and forearms. Finally, you get to her wrists. An idea pops in your head as you bring her hands to your lips, kissing her knuckles and rings, giving special focus onto her engagement ring. An amused huff escapes from her, and you glance back at her. Her eyes gleam with such a rare fondness, reserved only for you.

You glance down at the only part of her that's yet been touched, your stomach churning in itself when you're able to get a closer, longer look. You gulp considerably, your hands shaking slightly as they hover over it.

A charcoal hand wraps around your wrist, gently guiding your palm to her until it's flushed against her skin. “Don't be shy now, love.” She smirks wickedly and you have the sense to kiss that smile off her face.

“Shut up,” you murmur meekly, but place both hands on her stomach, your fingertips traversing over every dips created by her well-muscles stomach. It feels like your body will implode at any second now, as her body heat infects your fingers and spreads to the rest of your body. You coat her waist before your touch lingers lower, just above the waistband of her pants. You trace the indent of her v-line, your fingers nearly dip underneath her leggings. Before it can, she stops you, grasping both of your wrists with one hand as she leans in to whisper hotly near your ear.

“Let's save that for later, hm?”

—

“Lyney, what are they doing?” One of the children inquires, as they point at Mother and Father still by the water. Father remains on top of Mother, seemingly applying sun protection, though Lyney isn't quite sure if their position is truly that… innocent.

“Oh… Father is just helping Mother, like how I helped with the sun protection on your back,” Lyney quickly comes up with an explanation, looking away from them.

The child remains silent, observing the older male's expression, before looking back at them once more. “Lyney, you said that when a mother and father love each other a lot, a new child comes right?”

Lyney isn't sure if he was going to enjoy what comes next, though he has an inkling that he won't. “Yes…”

“Does that mean Mother and Father will bring us a new sibling soon?”

Lyney sputters, looking to Lynette for assistance.

—

After a nice day at the beach, Arlecchino takes you and the children to a local restaurant. Luckily, she was able to find one that was relatively empty, so there was no problem with fitting you and your twenty children inside. You find that the two of you rather enjoy Sumeru dishes; while you enjoy the variety of flavors, Arlecchino rather indulges in the spiciness of them. Your favorite is between the tandoori roast chicken and the lambad fish roll. Though, something bothers you during your time at the restaurant.

Arlecchino is an attractive woman; that much is undeniable, and you're well aware of the fact that she's pleasing to both men's and women's eyes. It is a common occurrence for her to attract the sights of those around her, for whatever the reason, though among the women, it is typically out of admiration. Here, this is the case as well, wandering eyes from other customers, and subtle flirting from the audacious waitress.

After finishing your dinner, you excuse yourself to the bathroom, only to return to the two of them chatting up, although in reality it’s more like a one-sided conversation and Arlecchino is ignoring her– you're well aware of this, but you find the waitress’ presence pervasive. You approach your table quickly, kissing your husband on the cheek before glancing at the waitress.

“My husband and I would like to order dessert. Can you fetch us a menu, please?” You ask, disguising your ire with a practiced smile. Instantly, the waitress's flirtation dies and she walks away.

You huff at the sight of the woman. “How could you, Arlecchino? After all we've been through? Talking so casually with her when I'm gone?” You jest with a gasp, faux jealousy in your tone once you notice the relieved sigh from her. Her claws release its hold on the tablecloth, leaving behind tattered sheets.

“Oh, how I've been caught,” Arlecchino responds monotonously, playing along. “My affair with an unnamed, rather plain-featured woman has been discovered.”

You giggle as her hand finds yours, interlocking with your fingers. “I'm in disbelief, betrayed by who I thought was my true love.”

“Oh hush now, love. Will Baklava buy your silence and heart again?”

“Perhaps.”

The House of the Hearth children gag as Mother and Father conciliate.

—

“Mother, can't we stay up any longer? We're on vacation. Pleaseeeeee,” one of the children pleads as you usher them to bed, pulling the covers over them.

“It's not healthy for you to stay up. Besides, you have plenty of time tomorrow and the rest of the two weeks to have fun. Your Father and I can't keep watch over you during the night,” you respond with, kissing them on the forehead.

“What if Lyney or Lynette watches us?”

“Lyney and Lynette are probably just as tired. When you wake up, we can go to the beach again, does that sound okay?”

“Okay… good night Mother.”

You hum in delight, caressing their head. “Good night. Sweet dreams.”

You silently walk towards the door. Arlecchino leans against the doorframe, observing you wordlessly–again, that unreadable expression appears over her, but this time it lingers. You shut the door as quietly as you can, before turning to your husband.

“Is there something you need, Arle?” You inquire.

She shakes her head. You don't quite believe her, but you don't address it. “I'm going to go take a bath. Get all this sand off of me. Would you like to join me?”

Arlecchino nods, and soon the two of you are in the bathroom. You let the faucet run, filling the bathtub with water as Arlecchino removes her clothing. It only takes a few moments before the two of you are seated in the bathtub, but it's a change of position this time. Arlecchino sits in between your legs, facing away from you.

“It's been a while since we've bathed like this, right?” You question softly, lightly carding your fingers through her untied hair.

“It has been,” she merely replies, her voice almost far-away; like there’s something else on her mind. Even though you only face her back, you can tell from her lack of movement that she’s in deep contemplation.

“What are you thinking about, Arle?” Your husband bristles a bit at the question. Even after being married to you for a couple years, she's still unaccustomed to how you can read her so easily, especially when she prides herself in being incomprehensible to others, even her children.

“Do you… not enjoy this?” You ask hesitantly with a lump in your throat. You know that she knows what you meant by ‘this’– the vacation; the entire notion of taking a break is foreign to Arlecchino, but you hope that she was able to find this beneficial. If she hates this and this vacation is supposed to be two weeks long… you don't want to say you'd be disappointed but you'd hope she'd at least be able to relax from her Harbinger duties.

Arlecchino is silent for a few moments. “I admit… I am uneased by this, to be so vulnerable and open to assaults now that we're not in the House of the Hearth. I feel unproductive and restless without my usual work. However, at the same time, I can see how beneficial this is to the children, and it is a nice change for once to see them like this. Being able to spend time with you like this is also rather indulgent, but I cannot complain about it.”

You smile, a weight lifted off your chest as you lean forward to press a kiss against her nape. “I’m glad. This was for you after all.”

“Although I am gratified that the children are able to experience this as well … I cannot see why you would put this much effort for me. After all, I am…” Arlecchino pauses, raising her blackened hands to her view. She doesn’t finish her sentence, but you're able to get a sense of what she’s trying to say, and another weight is placed heavy on your heart. For as confident and assured that Arlecchino likes to present herself, when it is just the two of you, she reveals a rawer, more unguarded side to her. Often, she confides in you how she grapples with why you can so fondly view her, and every time, your heart sinks. How could your husband think this way?

Laying your chin over her shoulder, you gingerly place both of your hands underneath hers, stroking the inside of her palm with your thumb. “I know where your thoughts are leading to, Arlecchino, and they're wrong. I love you, Arlecchino. You deserve this. You deserve this treatment, you deserve a break, you deserve to be loved. Your curse, your past… it doesn't matter. These hands…”

You continue caressing her hand with your fingers. “...They are not cursed. These hands are not unloveable. These are the same hands that protect and care for our children. The same hands that hold me. The same hands that please me. They are a part of you, and they aren't evidence that you are a monster. If you are, you wouldn't have me, and you wouldn't have the children.”

You kiss down along her bare back, gaining shivers from the woman. “Enjoy this, my love, for me at the very least. You are my husband, so let me do my part in loving you. You've done an innumerable amount of things for me and the children, so consider this to be our repayment for you.”

“That is why I am doing this for you, do you understand?” You whisper against her skin.

Arlecchino nods, a shaky breath escaping from her. You finish your treatment around her shoulderblades and gesture for her to turn around. When she does, the first thing that you do is kiss her hands, peppering them with as much devotion as you can give them. To you, nothing is more beautiful.

“You deserve everything and more. Don't forget that, Arlecchino. So let me do this for you.” It isn't an ask. It is a demand from the one person whose authority is higher than the Tsaritsa: you.

Arlecchino closes her eyes, and lets herself melt into you.

#arlecchino x reader #arlecchino x you #arlecchino #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact fics #genshin impact fic #genshin impact fanfics #genshin fics #genshin fanfic #edgeray.requests #edgeray.writes #edgeray.🍅anon

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synthetickitsune · 2 months

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Ashes Settle, Left Behind ✧ y.jh [part 1]

Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan x ghost!reader (gn) Genre: horror-ish angst Summary: Everything eventually comes to an end. Life. Love. Even marriage only lasts until death do us apart. So why should a soul bond be any different? Word count: 10k Warnings: a lot of inaccuracies that we shall all ignore for the sake of the plot (pretty please), mentions of fire, jeonghan has an invisible stalker basically A/N: Things got a little out of hand but lately that's all they do when it comes to me and writing lmao... Anyway, excited to finally be sharing the first part of my addition for @svthub's world tour collab! It ended up being more fun (and longer) than I expected and the second part hopefully shouldn't take too long now - unless I feel like torturing these two more. Also shoutout to @wooahaeproductions for helping me find out about the fire of Seattle that started all this! -> svthub world tour masterlist -> [part 2] (coming soon!)

You feel a shift in the air.

As if a tomb was opened and you could breathe again, see the world again. You see the light at the end of a tunnel. You let it envelope you.

You take a breath but the air doesn’t reach your lungs. You feel light and airy. Not held down by gravity; your lungs not weighted down by ashes and smoke.

You raise your hands and see. See - but not yourself. Just a blur. Like looking at the world through water.

Your body’s not there.

Just a ghost. A lingering memory someone dreamed up after an eternity.

It takes an effort to come to terms with your existence. Again. With a completely new form, in a new time. You’re not sure what’s a bigger shock - your ethereal self or how much everything changed.

You can’t wander out, caged in another memory kept preserved in the bones of the city you lived in.

The people are different. The technology is different. It’s hard to understand, but you have nothing better to do than watch the people who come in and walk through the graveyard that is your home. And you learn. It’s not much, but it’s enough.

The modern world is easy to grasp, but life… not so much. There’s only one thing that’s for certain: something changed.

Something made the change happen. You have no explanation as to how or why. But you know one thing. He has returned.

As if you’ve been longing for eternity, you feel so relieved you could cry.

You can clearly visualize it. Him bursting in through the door, embracing you and spinning with you in his arms with that pretty and carefree smile.

He’s coming home. Finally, he’s coming home again.

You should get the dinner started…

But…

The kitchen burned down.

The house burned down.

The city burned down.

Usually he’d be cursing his alarm right about now, but today Jeonghan is already awake and sipping coffee by the window of his little shop.

Despite only having slept a couple hours, he feels energized and ready to face the day. He’s sure the exhaustion would catch up with him later, but the benefit of being his own boss and living right above his workplace is that he could always spend his lunch break napping in the comfort of his bed if he needed to. Although he isn’t sure he’d manage to keep his eyes closed or get a decent sleep until he figured out his battle plan.

What battle?

Figuring out the decoration for the upcoming city festival. The thought alone makes him breathe deeply and bite back a smile.

It was made very clear throughout the negotiations that he and his shop wasn’t the first choice; the general mood was more along the lines of you’ll have to do because no one else would accept an offer this low. But Jeonghan truthfully didn’t mind, he didn’t even mind the low pay even though it’d barely make him any profit. It was an opportunity to put himself and his business out there and show what he and his team are capable of.

Having only tipped their toes into the waters of providing decorations for big events, this was huge. There was nothing he loved more than making bouquets for his customers and bringing smiles to faces that he sometimes couldn’t even see, but he also craved success. Not to mention that if his shop got contracted for more deals like this (with better pay, hopefully), he could likely afford to take better care of the people helping him, which was ultimately a stronger drive to make it big than the status of a successful business owner.

“Someone’s up early.”

He turns in the direction of the voice and sees Joshua and Seungkwan walking in, both with a cup of coffee in their hands. Seeing them, he feels like he could work nonstop for weeks, all the way until the festival.

If everything goes well, maybe they could start doing weddings. Joshua is always going on about wanting to design and make someone's wedding bouquet. He'd be ecstatic if they got the opportunity. Most of them would be, Jeonghan thinks. He's seen some of Jihoon's ideas scribbled on loose pages around the shop. They were perfect, some fit for a neat modern wedding, others straight out of fairytale. Seungkwan daydreams of making little flower crowns for the flower girls and flower boys.

Weren’t they simply meant to do weddings? It's not an easy business venture to get into, but with the festival... It's a good opportunity. Or maybe he’s just too hopeful.

"Good morning" he greets his friends with a warm smile. "It's gonna be a busy day so why not start straight away?"

"Someone's in a good mood," Seungkwan teases, but he's smiling too.

The morning routine is a breeze with one extra person. Eventually, Seokmin and Jihoon come in and join too as they all agreed to meet and plan for the big event ahead. The back room is cramped with all of them gathered - another sign they need to make a lot of money and expand.

Although Jeonghan likes it this way, likes how cozy the main space of the shop is.

“Is there any theme they want? Colors, aesthetic?” Joshua asks, “It’d be much easier if there was.”

“No,” Jeonghan sighs, “They didn’t mention anything, so I guess we’re free to do whatever. It’s a history faire so I guess they have no idea either.”

“So something that will survive drunk dudes pissing in it for anything that’s not hanging in the air it is,” Seungkwan claps his hands like it’s a done deal, turning the attention of everyone to himself.

“Don’t ruin your boss’ illusions, dude,” Seokmin scolds him immediately, whisper-shouting as if Jeonghan couldn’t hear.

“He’s right though,” Jihoon points out with a shrug. Jeonghan pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Let’s dream a little and aim for aesthetic over functionality, shall we,” he sighs, “Bushes and weeds might be practical and local but let’s take this opportunity seriously.”

He gives Joshua a sharp glare before he can speak up. He knows his friend isn’t entirely on board with this thing ever since he heard about the details of the meeting Jeonghan attended. He’s not stupid, he knows they’re not taken seriously and that, realistically, it will be a miracle if anyone cares what they do for the decorations. It is a good way to advertise themselves though.

“We should do something fun,” Seokmin interrupts their little staring contest, “We could make something nice and historical.”

Jeonghan thought about the same thing, the issue is…

“Flowers aren’t really known to last long, you know,” Jihoon points out, “That’s their beauty.”

“It might be a challenge to find any historical inspiration,” Joshua hums in thought, “But it would be cool if we pulled it off.”

Everyone seems to agree, and it shouldn’t be a surprise. After all, Jeonghan's main goal whenever he was hiring was to create a team of people that would fit well together. He didn’t want them to feel like coworkers, and he couldn’t be happier that it truly feels like they’re friends first and colleagues second.

The idea grows and transforms. The idea of teambuilding is thrown around a lot, even though it sounds more like an excuse to hang out instead of doing actual research and hunting for ideas. Some suggestions are better than others, some more logical than others, but Jeonghan decides to sit back and relax. Whatever they do, he’s confident the end result will be great. They’ll do well. Even if this whole thing turns into one big hang out under the guise of working. It might do them well to have fun without any worries. There’s gonna be plenty of time for that later.

The scene is all too familiar. You feel it just as you did those twenty-something years ago, although who really keeps track.

The light returning to your life. The world welcoming you back. It feels like it’s opening its arms to you now.

His arms. The safety, the security. The love. You yearn.

You feel it now almost physically; truly an oxymoron in your predicament.

You kept looking for him in the strange faces coming day after day, but it was never him. Not until now.

He’s coming home.

He’s close.

It makes your whole being tingle, like a magnet drawn to another, like a moth flying too close to a flame yet unable to pull back.

You feel the shift in the air. A rush of fresh breeze carrying the scent of wildflowers and the scent of the meadow where he stole your first kiss.

He’s here.

“This is stupid,” Jeonghan grumbles. His arms are crossed over his chest and there’s a displeased wrinkle between his brows. He wasn’t prepared for the sudden temperature drop between outside and here.

“Inspiration is a mysterious thing,” Joshua smooths that wrinkle away and chuckles, “Besides this is research. And that was your idea if I remember correctly.”

“My idea,” Jeonghan hisses, “Was googling a bunch of stuff and then deciding what had the chance of best results. Not going on a history tour that will be useless.”

“It’s more authentic. We’re going to breathe in the atmosphere of the old city,” the other man shrugs, “And c’mon, can you believe we’ve never been on one of these?”

Yes. Yes, he’s perfectly willing to believe so, because these tours are for tourists and history nuts and they’re neither. They have a flower shop for god’s sake.

He doesn’t say that aloud, however, because the tour guide appears and as grumpy as the cold might be making him, and as spiteful he might feel towards Joshua for dragging him here so early in the morning on their day off, he won’t spoil the mood. So he schools his expression into a curious smile and listens to the introduction.

It’s not too bad once he gets into it. Although it does absolutely nothing so far as searching for anything decoration-related goes and inspiration is yet to hit him, it’s interesting. More so than he expected. And Joshua being Joshua reads his mind well enough that he asks the questions Jeonghan is also curious about. The younger man gives him a knowing smile whenever Jeonghan nods along to the guide’s explanation. He rolls his eyes at him.

The tour is really nice - unexpectedly, they also discover a half-burned photograph of a couple with flower baskets behind them and also a newspaper clip with a photo of something that looked like a faire with flowers decorating the streets that his companion excitedly pointed out to him. Not that either of these were clear enough to get any real inspiration, but hey, at least they will have something to report back to the guys.

However, as the tour progresses, an uneasy feeling grows in Jeonghan’s stomach. He’s never had any real issue with claustrophobia, so he doesn’t think that’s it. Human bodies are weird though, and their minds even more so. He’s stronger than some irrational fear trying to pull a trick on him. Is it really a phobia though? Is phobia supposed to make him anxious to his bones and hit him with nausea that feels like a cold hand squeezing his stomach? His knees feel like they’ll buckle under him any moment now.

“Hey, Han, are you alright?”

He jumps and only the lump in his throat stops him from yelping when Joshua grabs his shoulder. He’s frowning.

“Sorry, is there anywhere my friend can sit down for a minute?”

He hears his friend speak but the words don’t really register in his mind. He lets himself be led to the side and sat down on a chair. He feels faint. His head is spinning. He barely hears whatever Joshua is saying.

He’s here.

He’s alive.

And in turn, his life makes you remember what it felt like to live.

You don’t need to breathe but in the instant you see him, you forget you ever could.

He looks different, but you’d recognize him anywhere.

His hair is longer. It looks good on him, framing his face like a dark halo. He looks like an angel. Did he come to save you?

The clothes he’s wearing make him seem out of place just like the rest of the group. Just a tourist in a place that he should call home. That he once did call home. You don’t recognize the man next to him, and your heart pangs. His friends used to be yours too.

You move closer without realizing. It feels like your entire body is pulsing with life long forgotten; with a heartbeat you no longer have.

He doesn’t look good.

He seems to feel unwell. The closer you get, the more it seems to hurt him. Love truly is violence.

The man next to him calls his name.

You repeat it. It’s different. It feels different on your tongue, yet it doesn’t feel unfamiliar. You suppose that just comes with the territory.

He looks like he’s about to lose consciousness. You can’t just watch him getting hurt.

You move closer, grabbing onto his arm the second before he can fall.

He doesn’t. Instead he suddenly straightens as shiver runs through his body. He seems disoriented when he looks through you. Almost like he can tell that’s where you are.

You’re dragged along with him by his friend. Even though you’re right in front of his face, he doesn’t see you. He looks like he’s about to faint. Pearls of cold sweat forming on his forehead, his teeth chattering and face deadly pale. His friend moves right through you when he crouches down in front of him.

“Jeonghan? Can you hear me?” he taps your lover’s leg without any reaction, “What’s going on?”

“Breathe,” you whisper. Like a magic trick, he does. He gasps for air like he’s drowning on dry land and his friend panics, shooting up to his feet and shaking his shoulder.

“Slowly. You don’t belong to me yet,” there’s a bitter smile on your face when again he follows your instructions. Not yet.

It’s a strange and nauseating feeling. You don’t wish him death, but you long to hold and be held. His soul recognizes yours, it yearns for you too. But will his heart? Would his heart?

“Shua?” Jeonghan asks, brows furrowed and eyes vacant. He looks dazed, the color still drained from his face.

“Han? Can you hear me?” the man - Shua - tries again.

“Yeah,” your lover rubs his face, “Yeah, sorry. I don’t know what happened.”

“You scared me, man,” the other man sighs, “How do you feel?”

“Good, I’m good now. Isn’t it cold here?” Jeonghan rubs his arms, trying to get the feeling back in them as he stands up. Shua looks ready to catch him if he loses strength again and you feel a sense of pride. He always knew to choose his friends well.

“Yeah, I guess it’s a bit chilly,” Shua responds, apprehensive, and clearly not trusting Jeonghan’s legs not to give up on him again.

“We should head up,” Jeonghan says and tries to orient himself. You can’t let him go. His friend frowns. The temperature didn’t change since they entered, only Jeonghan did - you did. You latch onto his arm. You hold him like he’s the ghost that could disappear at any moment.

His skin is warm under your touch. He shivers and looks at his arm, right where you hold him, before passing a hand over it. His fingers slip right through you. Nothing helps him chase away the cool sensation it seems.

“I’m not sure, Han,” Shua hesitates, “It’s pretty hot up there and you seem kind of… I don’t want you to feel worse because of the heat.”

“I’ll be fine,” Jeonghan manages a smile. The same smile you used to see every day.

“Are you sure? I don’t know about you but I can’t afford any hospital bill,” his friend jokes, earning himself an eye roll.

Tears burn at your eyes. His friends were always like that - caring, kind, but with a mischievous heart.

“Alright, lemme just check with the guide that it’s okay for us to just leave,” Shua finally concedes, seeing as your lover won’t budge. Jeonghan gives him a nod (and a smile when the man hesitates again - Jeonghan even sits down to finally get him going).

It’s just you and him.

He sighs. As he massages his arm to get some feeling back in it, his warm palm passes through you once more. He grimaces. Can he perhaps feel you? It doesn’t matter how little. Can he tell you’re with him? You know it’s selfish, so so selfish. But you crave acknowledgement. After so long, after waiting for so long…

He looks up, he looks in your direction - he’s still looking as confused and lost as before. A lost young man, a look you’ve seen on him before when he took you on a trip to the countryside. He always looked at you so fondly back then. And now he doesn’t see you at all. You want him to - as selfish and cruel as it is. As foolish as it is. You want it even though your heart would break. He’d be terrified. Perhaps he wouldn’t even recognize you. You don’t think he would but you hope, you wish. It’s not like you have any idea if the same feelings in your heart remained in his.

He keeps running his hand over his arm like an obsession, like he’s trying to ground himself. He massages it, he pokes at it, he pinches it. He must feel your touch somehow, he does - he just doesn’t recognize it, so can it really be said he feels it at all? You should let go. Whatever he feels, it’s not a pleasant feeling. But you can’t. You finally found him again. You can’t let go now. It’d be like letting go of the straw that keeps you from drowning.

“Jeonghan,” you try calling his new name aloud. A mere whisper.

Yet he whips his head up and gasps. His pupils shrink, his mouth hangs open in a silent scream. He freezes. Not a simple scare freeze - no, the type of fear rooted deep in human instinct, the fear of something unknown and unnatural, something that seems human but isn’t.

He meets your eyes. You truly think he does. His breath gets stuck in his chest.

“-aaand we’re clear to go!” Shua announces cheerfully, returning back in a rush - then he speeds up more when he sees Jeonghan, his face immediately falling. “Hey, you good?”

He needs to shake Jeonghan’s shoulder to get his friend to look at him. He gets no other reaction than a few blinks.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he tries to lighten the mood, although his brow is furrowed in worry.

Jeonghan is pale as a sheet. You notice he bites his tongue, he resolves himself to push back his true feelings - you’ve learned to read him like an open book. It only causes you more pain now.

“I just got a bit nauseous,” Jeonghan lies through his teeth, “I think I messed up my breakfast.”

“That’s why I keep telling you to consider the kitchen more of a decoration,” Shua huffs while he helps Jeonghan stand up, insists on it despite the other’s protests. He watches out for him even as he stands straight and steady.

“Let’s just go,” Jeonghan groans, “I think I should lie down.”

You don’t let go. You see his hand twitch as if he wants to touch his arm again but he stops himself.

You hang onto his arm. You haven’t managed to leave the buried remains of the past before, held back by an invisible force. It must’ve been fate looking out for you.

Or maybe it wasn’t, maybe you’re meant to haunt this place.

Whatever happens though, trapped here or not, you will hold onto him until the last second.

You hold your redundant breath as you’re all nearing the exit.

You’re carried out, anchored to your lover.

The sun shines through you.

“So, how did it go?” No surprise Jihoon is already back. They really should have bit the bullet and volunteered to drag him around. Looking back, Joshua really should’ve picked him over Jeonghan.

“Well…” Joshua hesitates and Jeonghan rolls his eyes.

His arms still feels off. It’s cold - he thought maybe it was the wind blowing directly at it once they came out of the underground. (Not a leaf moved on the ground, but Jeonghan will ignore the fact. Maybe he just offended the wind in some way.) Maybe there really was something wrong with him. Could he eat some parasite in his food lately? Maybe. Honestly he would take anything over what he saw down there. Anything over being possessed by a ghost. He has too many things to achieve. He cannot afford to lose control of his body; wailing and being creepy is bad for the business.

“I feel better now,” he pats Joshua’s shoulder. It’s not a lie - or it won’t be in a while, once he gets lost in work. His arm still feels cold. Occasionally the feeling skims over his skin like a ghostly touch. He doesn’t want to entertain that thought. “Nothing to worry about, I just got a little dizzy. Maybe I slept too little?”

He thinks aloud, overacting but it works to make Joshua sigh in exasperation and Jihoon nod in understanding. Of course he would understand.

“Look, just be careful, okay? We can get through one day without you, boss,” there’s a teasing lilt to Joshua’s voice when he calls him that but he coos at his friend anyway.

“Why don’t I start with the orders for tomorrow then, that’s easy enough,” he doesn’t wait for their agreement and instead goes to the back. Joshua will explain everything to Jihoon and he doesn’t necessarily need to be around for that. He knows they won’t protest if he takes on whatever he feels like, both a little too caring for their own good. That’s why he wants them to have easy lives, do well and be rich. A goal that will be a challenge if he starts losing his mind and seeing things suddenly. He shakes his head. Work. Focus on work and it’s gonna be fine.

And it is. They keep it cool in the back so the flowers don’t wilt as quickly. He would need to focus to feel the difference of temperatures on his body - so he won’t do that. He doesn’t need to think about much else while he prepares one bouquet after another, picking the right flowers, twisting stems together, tying bows… Although they should be getting ready for the festival and among other deals they have, they need to keep the core of the business running. It’s back to basics, but he loves it. He genuinely enjoys preparing the orders. Some of them are more specific than others, but he likes the artistic freedom of those in which he can just follow what occasion the bouquet is meant for and put his own twist to it. It’s an honor that so many people trust them to convey their feelings… or at least to create something pretty. He gets it, sometimes you just want to give someone a pretty flower without thinking about what it means.

He gets so into the work that he forgets about anything else and by the time Seokmin comes to get him, he’s done with everything.

“You were faking it, weren’t you?” Seokmin accuses once he sees all the orders that needed to be prepared for tomorrow done and stored away. Jeonghan rolls his eyes.

“Joshua is just too dramatic. You know him,” he sighs. His friend doesn’t seem convinced.

“Well, he looked really worried,” the younger man shifts on his spot nervously, “He said you looked like you’ll pass out. Like you saw a ghost.”

Jeonghan flinches a little. But he recovers quickly, gasping in a split second and hitting Seokmin’s shoulder lightly with a declaration of: “Don’t say scary things like that!”

Seokmin teases him for a while, but it’s fair enough. Jeonghan’s never been too scared of ghosts and such, never worried about being trapped underground forever - actually he doesn’t think there was ever a time his friends saw him scared, and the jokes remind him of that. Right. Ghosts aren’t real. He must’ve been just lightheaded or something. Maybe he’s more stressed about the planning than he realized previously.

“Right, I’ll do a coffee run, you want something?” Seokmin remembers, quickly getting to why he actually came.

“I’ll come with you, it’s hard to carry everything alone,” Jeonghan says as he washes his hands.

He thinks about grabbing the jacket he keeps at the shop, but thinks better of it. It’s windy outside and Seokmin suggests he returns for it, but he absolutely won’t. The cold feeling shifted, resting around his hand as if assuring him it’s not going anywhere. Hand in unlovable hand - who said that? He shakes his head. It’s easier to ignore the sensation with the wind blowing this and that way, and Seokmin is good at distracting him.

They talk about the results of Seokmin and Seungkwan’s “research” while they wait in line and for their order to be made. It seems they were about as successful as him and Joshua, so Jihoon is their biggest hope. Not that it matters, it’s unreasonable to think anyone at the festival would care about the historical accuracy of the flowers used as decorations, and their shop focuses on the symbolism anyway, but Jeonghan likes little details like that. Even if it makes their work much harder. It would be nice to have something traditional or local for the centerpiece at least.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Seokmin asks all of a sudden. It takes him by surprise, but soon the expression is replaced by a soft smile. He nods.

He’s not. But maybe the time he spends with his friends will help. Or maybe he’ll go mad and these are the last precious moments he has with them. Fortunately, the human mind isn’t capable of comprehending things in their entirety, and so even if his thoughts are gloomy, he can still smile. He’s grateful for that.

“It was nothing. Maybe phobias are like allergies?” Jeonghan suggests, wondering, “Maybe they can just pop up randomly or disappear.”

“So you think I could get over my fear of bugs?” Seokmin considers the idea seriously.

“I’ll give you a raise if you do,” Jeonghan smirks and easily dodges his friend’s elbow aimed at his ribs. This is definitely better than obsessing over something out of his control. Something that might be all in his head.

(He still looks over his shoulder as they exit the cafe.)

As they sit at the round table - as Seokmin jokes - it’s very obvious everyone had a great time but it wasn’t really a productive means of reaching their research goal. They skip only quickly over his and Joshua’s trip, everyone well familiar with its less than ideal ending.

Jihoon of course agrees that local flora of history would be a great research topic for a thesis, but for now the idea remains to be extensively explored in resources that could be found at local libraries. (The silver lining though, clearly, is the stack of books in his bag resting against the wall.)

Seungkwan and Seokmin, who visited the botanical garden, did manage to get some interesting and useful information. A little miracle nobody counted on happening. They also went above and beyond to ask the visitors of the park about their favorite flowers. (“To make it like it’s made for them!” they claim, although the notion is as ridiculous as it is cute.)

Jeonghan enjoys listening to his friends, he really does. His eyes hurt with the effort to keep them on the person talking, always switching. He’s trying. But he’s so nauseous that it feels like he’s being continuously punched in the stomach.

His head feels like it’s full of cotton and fog, not a single thought forms itself in its entirety. All of them are just incoherent, broken pieces littering his mind. Jeonghan has never dived in his entire life, but he thinks he knows what it feels like now. He feels as though an entire ocean is pressing down on him. The meeting can’t end soon enough - as much as he loves listening to the chaos.

His friends fortunately aren’t blind and with all of them being aware of his almost collapse earlier, they don’t take long to catch on to Jeonghan not feeling his best. It takes some convincing that he’ll be fine, that he just needs to eat and rest, even as he’s putting all his strength into not doubling over and curling into fetal position to ease the sudden sinking fear gripping his entire body. They follow him the entire way to his door just upstairs. It’s comical, him and his four little ducklings. It eases the tension in his body and the fear, but he would lie if he said he doesn’t prefer to isolate himself whenever he’s not feeling well. He’s strong enough to lie and tell them he’ll be fine on his own.

The door closes behind him with what feels like finality. It feels like he just closed the door to his old life, though he wouldn’t hesitate to say it feels like he left his old world - whatever that means when there’s no other world. His apartment looks like it always did, like it did when he left this morning. It feels like that was eternity ago - he can summon the memories of his excitement, the energy he felt. There’s none left in him now.

He lets his bag fall to the floor and lay there. He doesn’t bother to hang up his keys and lets them rest on the little shelf next to some trinkets the guys brought back from their holidays over the years.

He drags himself to the living room and throws himself down on the sofa. He’s staring at the white ceiling, watches the stripes of lights and shadows following one after another where the glow of the street lamp is blocked by his blinds. It’s too quiet.

He should wash up. There are many things he should do, actually, but he has no strength or will to get up. His stomach feels uncomfortable and his muscles are tense. That probably doesn’t help with how he’s feeling. He takes a couple deep breaths, slows down his breathing even if it feels like he’s going to pass out.

His head throbs, but it’s better than the nausea twisting his stomach. He thinks he’ll faint soon, something bad is bound to happen to him, his body overcome with heat, then cold, all within a minute. His breathing is getting heavier. He tries closing his eyes, searching for any small relief. Instead he’s more aware of his body.

Something tells him to move, something so primal he doesn’t dare to disobey. Like his own body knows if something doesn’t happen right now, he’s gonna die. He groans when he pushes himself up, clinging to the back of the couch. He needs water. He makes it to the bathroom, supporting himself on the walls. It only gets worse. It keeps getting worse and worse and he’s lightheaded.

He holds himself up against the sink and turns on the water. It feels icy against his skin, but that’s what he needs. He splashes his face with it, and the relief is slow but it’s there. He drinks out of his palms and the cold water sliding down his throat helps. He’s nauseous still, he feels dizzy, but not on the verge of breakdown.

At least that’s until he looks up.

The mirror on the wall shows two reflections.

He shrieks so loud his throat burns despite the cold water sticking to it.

He thinks he blacks out for a second.

But when he opens his eyes, he’s still standing in his bathroom. His hands are cramped, curled around the edges of the sink so that he doesn’t fall.

The mirror still shows another person behind him.

His own shriek resonates in his head and his throat burns more at the memory.

Part of him wishes that what he saw looked like a monster. Something straight out of a horror movie, something inhumane. But it’s just a person. Barely there, a shadow of a human being. Something that isn’t there when he turns to looks back.

He closes his eyes tightly and only blinks them open after a few long minutes. He doesn’t know what he expected, but what he feels is a resignation. Something in him gives up when the person doesn’t disappear when he looks into the mirror again. He refuses to check if something hasn’t changed and the stranger hasn’t manifested in his home - he’s seen enough horror movies for that. He’d rather keep his eyes on the reflection.

“I lost my mind,” he laughs, his head hanging between his shoulders. Tears pool in his eyes. Was it stress? Was it karma for the pranks he played? What was it that finally did him in?

He looks up and the ghost is wearing a sad smile. As if it’s pitying him. He laughs again. Even the creation of his own shattering mind thinks him a pathetic clown.

“You should sleep,” a voice says, and at the same time: “I should sleep.” He says.

He hears it, but it takes a second to comprehend that the echo of his voice wasn’t truly his voice, but some other, second voice. The ghostly figure behind him never moved its lips. Never moved. Never spoke. It just keeps staring.

Has he seen the face before?

The underground flashes in front of his eyes. The split-second trick of the light he saw there. Goosebumps erupt all over his body. Could it be the same face?

Surely he just saw something, some picture - the picture on the tour? It must be a waking nightmare, just a stranger’s face he saw once. It’s said you never forget a face you’ve seen and this must be it. Maybe he slept less than he thought. He must be exhausted, his body must be shutting down. That’s why he’s losing it. His vision starts swimming. He’s dizzy from staring at the figure so intensely.

Something like sleep paralysis maybe? He’s awake but ready to pass out from exhaustion. That must be it.

“Sleep,” he speaks again, and like before, there’s the echo of the second voice. He’s sure it’s just his sleep paralysis demon speaking. He’s pathetic enough that even demons would pity him.

Sleep… He needs to go to sleep. That much is obvious. But sleep seems like the stupid thing to do. He rubs his face again, splashes more cold water on it, but the ghost doesn’t disappear. So he does the unthinkable.

He turns around suddenly. So suddenly his head hurts and he almost loses his balance. He winces, but there is no one. No solid figure, no ghastly figure, nothing. Cautiously, he reaches forward, but he feels nothing. There’s the need to check the mirror again gnawing at the back of his mind, but he doesn’t. Instead he turns off the light so he can’t see at all. He extends his hand again but still - nothing. He takes a couple deep breaths and bolts.

He’s stumbling and banging against the walls, but he makes it to his bedroom. He jumps on his bed, covers his body with a blanket and pants. His body is shivering, trembling, tight like his every muscle is cramped. It’s hard to breathe, the lump in his throat taking up too much space, the air can’t get through. He remembers the phone in his pocket and takes it out. It lights up and he can finally see again.

It’s just him under the blanket. Only his body and nothing else. He sits up again. It makes him dizzy, the blanket falls. The phone lights up the room but it’s empty. It’s just him.

He sighs.

He falls back, staring at the ceiling like he did before. The nausea is gone for the most part, and now that he’s lying down, he doesn’t feel like he’s gonna pass out in the next second. There is only the dread and anxiety left that make him lightheaded and wide awake despite the exhaustion. He knows his body will give out before his mind does, but that’s worse. He knows it’s gonna create nasty nightmares to haunt him, and it’s the last thing he needs today. He honestly feels like crying. He feels like calling someone - but what’s he gonna say? ‘Hey, I think I saw a ghost in my bathroom, can you come over?’ That sounds way too pathetic. It’s too late to ask anyone to come over, and to ask if they could stay over too. At least without a good reason. He knows he can rely on his friends, knows they wouldn’t ask questions and be there within minutes, but his pride won’t allow it. And looking like he does - he can imagine the mess that he is right now - they might not ask, but they’d be worried. Jeonghan doesn’t want that above all.

So he takes a couple of deep breaths. If there is a ghost in his bathroom… If there is a ghost anywhere, if he is possessed… What’s he supposed to do about it at midnight? Nothing. There’s nothing he can do.

He reasons with himself. He’s exhausted. He can feel his very bones weighing him down, and he already had some sort of breakdown earlier on the tour. Must be stress. Must be hunger - he doesn’t feel hungry at all, but except for breakfast, did he eat anything the whole day? He can only remember the breakfast and the toast Seungkwan basically forced down his throat. Must be that he’s starving. Must be the lack of sleep. Even though he felt energized, that doesn’t mean he was. His body must’ve lied to him - and now his own eyes and mind are lying to him. That must be it. There’s no way ghosts exist.

He turns to his side and checks the calendar. It shouldn’t be too busy tomorrow, that should give them plenty of chances to brainstorm about the festival some more. He focuses on that. The festival. The orders they should get done tomorrow. All the practical and necessary day-to-day things. He should get some groceries too. A warm, home cooked meal would do him good, even if it was something simple that he cooked. It all must’ve been just exhaustion and hunger.

He lets the screen go dark. He can barely make out his reflection in the dim light coming in through the window. Only his reflection. That soothes him a little. He can’t keep his eyes open anymore anyway. He listens to the sounds of the apartment and everything sounds as it should. No movement, no steps, no doors making funny sounds. He’ll laugh about it in the morning. He’ll tell the guys and they’ll laugh about it together. That’s how it’s gonna be. He allows himself a tiny smile.

Just a sleep paralysis that came too early.

Errors happen even in the human body.

That’s just how it is.

You watch him fall asleep.

You don’t have a body, yet it feels like you do all the same. The pain feels real, even if it doesn’t have anywhere to anchor itself to. Passing points, your own ghosts of neurons shooting signals to each other in a messed up web all over your being. You are a nebula of pain.

It was obvious what’s going to happen. You knew it well. Yet it left your heart shattered on his bathroom floor.

What hurts more - the terror in his eyes or that he doesn’t recognize you? Well, he has his own life now, one without you, so you suppose there’s only so many memories he can carry with himself. And you simply have no place among them.

It hurts. You want to scream, but you can’t - not in a way that would bring relief. And what if he hears you? In what universe could you endure seeing more of his panic? You know the answer.

Seeing him so exhausted hurt you too. Was it hard carrying you around? Bringing a second soul probably leaves a toll on the body just like carrying another body would. You wished to speak to him, but how could you utter a word when seeing you made him react the way he did. You don’t want him to lose his mind. You’ll have to be smart. You don’t want to hurt him more than you’re already doing. You can carry the hurt of the situation, you can withstand the hurt he causes you because it’s not his fault. Not his fault at all. Not yours either, you think, you hope, but you definitely have more power here. You comfort yourself with the knowledge you could probably talk to him. Just not tonight when the fear is fresh.

You move closer to him, gently move some of his hair away from his face as if you were a cold breeze blowing in through the window. He looks angelic. His features are much softer than you remember, but he’s as handsome as he always was. You lie down beside him, admiring him in his sleep. It’s not gonna be a restful night. You see the first frown twist his face, and it stabs you right in your chest. You can’t protect him from nightmares, but you’ll share the pain.

Even if he won’t know.

“Wow,” Jihoon exclaims the moment he sees him, “You look-”

“- awful.”

“- like shit.”

Both Seokmin and Joshua pipe in. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

As expected, the night wasn’t kind to him at all. Well, perhaps he could find some silver lining in the fact that despite the night being quite hot, he was so exhausted he didn’t even notice. And despite the nightmares and the heat, he didn’t wake up sweaty and disgusting.

Anyway, he didn’t have the courage to wander into his bathroom and avoided mirrors like the plague, so he probably looks a mess anyway.

(It was pathetic enough to crawl on the floor and blindly feel for his toothbrush and toothpaste on the sink without really stepping inside. To take a shower there was out of the question. Okay, maybe he was a little disgusting.)

“I couldn’t sleep well,” he shrugs, “Neighbours decided to have a party.”

The young couple living in the apartment above his own were actually the ideal neighbors, but that was good - with no reason to talk about them much, the lie would go unnoticed. He got several understanding nods in response.

“And… you feeling okay?” Seungkwan asks, and he’s once again touched by his friends’ concern that is mirrored on all three faces.

“Yeah,” he tries a small smile, “Would be better if I got actual sleep but it is what it is.”

“You can sneak out during lunch break, we won’t tell the boss,” Seokmin gives him an exaggerated wink. He scoffs, but smiles anyway. It’s genuine.

This is better. Normal is better. Last night feels like a fever dream compared to this. Just a joke played on him by his exhausted body and mind. He’s still shaken by it, though, the cracks it left in his confidence in himself and what reality is are still too sharp to joke about it. He hopes that by tomorrow he gets some quality sleep and his shit together.

“Anyway, let’s get to work so Friday isn’t a pain in the ass,” he claps, rolling his eyes at Seungkwan’s mock salute.

He’s more grateful than he could ever express for these guys. The nightmare of last night is easily forgettable and written off as a glitch in the matrix with them around.

When a cold breeze circles and brushes around his wrist though, as if lingering like a lover’s touch, he shivers and breaks out in cold sweat anyway. He turns around. He sees nothing.

As it should be.

(Then why does he feel the hairs at the back of his neck stand up?)

You’ve always admired his hard working nature. The honesty and dedication with which he works. It’s quite the change from the man you used to know back then - you’d never think you’ll get to see him one day selling flowers, but it seems to suit the present day version of him. Very little of him changed in the aspects that matter. Bodies are no more than a shell to be eventually discarded - or that’s how you came to think of them over your short experience of being just a wandering soul.

You’re careful not to hover too close too often. He flinches any time the wind blows in, even if it’s a work of nature and not your touch. And so you lost your excuse to touch him. It still makes you uneasy to keep your distance. Your heart is filled with anxiety whenever you lose contact with him, terrified of being dragged back into the underground by the same mysterious power that allowed you to leave when you latched onto him.

Jeonghan’s friends watch him closely - trying to be as inconspicuous as they can to go unnoticed by him. Yet he does notice them, smiling a little to himself. He seems troubled but he hides it well. At least from everyone who can’t float around him and see him when nobody is looking. It pains your heart, it really does. But it can’t be helped - you can’t help it. Your instinct screams to stay close to your lover after what, decades - centuries? No way you’re letting him disappear from you now.

It’s painful to watch him be cautious and on guard, to be the only one aware of it, and the only one on the receiving end of this icy attitude. You don’t blame him. But it hurts. You’re tempted, oh so tempted, to take advantage of the moments when he speaks to his friends, moments when you know he’d fake being alright, to touch him. To wrap your arms around him and hold him. Just for a second.

He’s yours. Can’t he see? Can’t he feel it? His soul is yours, yours is his. Doesn’t he know?

It makes you angry. Some part of you is furious with him for not feeling the tug of your bond. It’s so deeply interwoven in your heart, bound to your very existence. Why else would you be awakened to your afterlife if not to meet him? To be one with him again?

And he doesn’t even bother to care about you.

All he seems to care about is how repulsive your touch is to him. When he’s left alone in the room, he turns around helplessly, desperately searching for something that is not there, yet something that makes his skin crawl, that invades his space, that he can’t run away from.

Why would he run?

His eyes are wide and panicked, teary. You can see yourself in their reflection and you feel shame that makes you draw back.

But he’s still scared. He doesn’t know you back away from him.

He’s still backing himself into a corner, or against a wall, or a desk, or against soft blooming flowers that stop him in his tracks. And then you are reminded of his gentle touch and tender caresses and you want to weep.

He might be terrified of the summer breeze, but he never harms the flowers. He stops himself before he can knock them over.

You’re a monster, and it hurts. You’re a monster but it hurts. You’re a monster despite and because it hurts. Being a ghost cannot possibly be described in any other way than the simple statement I am in pain.

You don’t want to hurt him. Yet it seems that’s all you can do.

You’re angry and you’re hurt, your emotions come and go like the waves at the sea.

And he’s hiding it all so well, acting like he lost his balance when his friends start returning. He laughs, pretty and bright. Like he was never on the verge of tears.

Truth be told though, it’s hard. He wants to break down, but he can’t and he won’t. Jeonghan won’t let them see him cry, he won’t tell them anything. He’ll let them tease him, he’ll whine at them. He’ll laugh. It’s important as a business owner to be able to act, to pretend. It’s what he’s always done. He doesn’t need help. He can do this.

It’s harder to let the work swallow him whole, however. He feels eyes on him. Hand frozen just a breath away from his skin. It makes him jumpy, but fortunately that can be easily written off and joked about as just him dozing off. It wouldn’t be the first time lack of sleep made him act weird, and for once he’s glad for that. At the same time, though, it stings.

He wants to be comforted, to be reassured. At the same time, he doesn’t want his friends to be concerned about something that might just be his mind playing tricks on him. But it really doesn’t feel like a joke anymore. He can’t explain it; the impending sense of doom, like he’s about to have a heart attack. The fear so strong and urgent it enables him to act with absolute serenity. Jeonghan knows it’s not just the exhaustion - which means that yesterday was no play of the shadows in his bathroom either. It makes him nauseous all over again. It makes the scent of flowers overwhelming.

He makes it through the maintenance and prep for tomorrow with only a few tiny hiccups. Mostly due to the efforts of his friends to keep him entertained. He wonders if he’ll ever be able to thank them. They might quite literally be saving his life - or his sanity at the very least. But isn’t it the same thing at the end of the day - his life and his ability to comprehend that he’s living this life.

After the necessary is done at a record pace, a couple hours earlier than it would take under normal circumstances, they sit down according to plan to brainstorm. It’s more fun now that they abandoned the pressure of sticking to tradition and history - which in hindsight should be obvious to be impossible. It’s not like even if they wanted to, even if they could, it would be viable to only use the local wildflowers for all the decor.

Jihoon also shocks everyone when, unlike Seungkwan, he provides the list of artists and other entertainers who’ll be present at the festival. (“What? I have friends too, you know,” he scoffs when everyone turns to look at him with their mouths hanging open and Seungkwan grumbling to himself.)

Most of the musicians are local and undiscovered artists, but it helps with imagining the vibe the festival will have. It’s starting to come together when they look up the official program and list of activities that will be available. Surprisingly it seems that it truly aims to celebrate the city’s history, if one’s willing to look past the few necessary activities for children that are planned. And memories, remembering, cherishing, all that is so easy to express through flower language.

A little too easy.

And Jeonghan is yet again grateful to his friends for a thing he’d find a little annoying any other day.

“We don’t have to have it figured out today,” he tries to join the conversation again, tries to steer it in a more productive direction. It’s hardly a conversation anymore, rather a contest of who can be the loudest. Jeonghan’s eyes meet with Jihoon’s who shrugs and lifts the paper in front of him. There’s a rough drawing of what looks like possible table decoration with arrows and names pointing to individual flowers that Jeonghan can’t make out through the flurry of hands thrown around in wild gestures. Jihoon mouths a what do you think? to him anyway, although he can’t quite respond.

He runs a hand through his hair just as Seungkwan scolds Joshua for apparently making the centerpiece look too much like a funeral decoration.

If something really has possessed him, he wonders what the entity must be thinking…

“Jeonghan was saying something,” Jihoon grumbles out of nowhere, and even though Jeonghan himself could barely make out what the other was saying, the room goes quiet and all the four heads turn in his direction. He sighs. Like he needs more eyes on him. At least these he can see.

“We don’t have to get everything finalized today,” Jeonghan reminds everyone and starts picking different colored highlighters from the table. He swipes different colors over the individual items on the list of everything they were contracted to provide. He tries to be fair with the division of labor and closely monitors the reaction when he slides the paper further down the table for everyone to check out.

“I think it’s best if everyone picks out something and comes up with ideas for that,” Jeonghan suggests, “We have enough time, so let’s meet about it in two weeks. And if you have any ideas for the other things, write them down too.”

“Do you want to pick first?” Seokmin asks but Jeonghan shakes his head.

“I’m fine with whatever,” he waves them off. It’s not like he could get himself to consider and focus right now. Honestly he can’t be sure yet how big of a deal whatever’s happening to him is, so it’s better this way. If there’s a risk of him not doing as good of a job as he could, why take something one of the guys would enjoy?

He watches with fond eyes as his friends bicker over the colors more seriously than the tasks. He spins the pen he’s holding between his fingers. The eyes he feels on his back constantly never disappear but somehow it seems like he’s not the main focus now. Is he losing his mind for real? Jeonghan rubs his eyes.

It’s like he can feel it. Like he can feel something hover around. He doesn’t see anything, truth be told he doesn’t feel anything unless… It feels foolish to say until it touches him because there’s nothing there but there’s no better way to explain it. If that something was a person, he can feel their gaze shifting. If it was a person, who could it be? He made his fair share of mistakes in his life, but he doesn’t think he’s ever hurt anyone enough for them to haunt him.

“Well, that leaves the centerpiece for you,” Joshua slides the paper back to him. He whines.

“Is it because Seungkwan hates your idea?” Jeonghan complains. He doesn’t care, not much anyway (although it does put a lot of pressure on him), as long as they’re happy but he is worried. It’s a big responsibility, and if this whole issue he’s having will drag on, can he do a good job? He doesn’t want to let them down.

“It’s because you’re the owner. You should be the star,” Seungkwan pushes at his shoulder. Jeonghan hopes his smile is convincing enough. He hopes they’ll read the anxiety only for the half of the worries they’re meant to see.

“Always being nice to me only when it’s convenient, I see,” he sighs, shaking his head. At least he can smile for real now. At least he can forget somewhat about the eyes when he play-fights with them.

They throw around ideas for a while longer and go through the timeline again - when is the next meeting with the organizers, when are they going to need to make the order, when to start with the work. That’s gonna be the main issue - to manage everything in time along with the other jobs they have. It’s not like there aren’t ways to get around it, but it’s another huge thing on Jeonghan’s plate to figure out.

It’s not exactly a tiring day and all things considered, Jeonghan feels quite refreshed when he makes it home. Mostly because Joshua insists on hanging out with him for a while, so that takes away the anxious edge he feels about coming home. Still, he thinks it must be because the other man worries about his breakdown yesterday and it irritates him a little.

He doesn’t even know a half of it - if he knew the whole story, Jeonghan’s positive Joshua would treat him differently. Like a freak. Then the guilt hits. Joshua is too kind for his own good and Jeonghan’s paranoid. Of course his best friend would try to understand, he’d probably help him come up with a logical solution and offer support. It’s just Jeonghan’s mind trying to isolate him like it always does when he’s going through something. He wishes he could blame it on whatever nightmare he’s dreamed up, but he really can’t.

Once the door closes behind Joshua, Jeonghan feels like his heart dropped into his stomach. He can’t swallow. He can barely breathe. Not that there’s anything preventing him, but he can’t set any rhythm to taking breaths that would allow him not to choke. He’s gasping for breath, his ears ringing.

The eyes are on him.

They were the whole time, but he could push it to the back of his mind. Now it’s all coming back to him in full force.

He can feel them, burning into his back.

When he turns around, there will be nothing there.

He does, slowly, hesitantly, eyes glued to the floor. It takes all his will power to look up.

Nothing.

He smiles bitterly. At this point he’d prefer it if he was hallucinating as well. He wants to see that thing that he saw in the bathroom yesterday. Anything that would make it more real and less like a delusion brought on by a sudden attack of claustrophobia. Because he’s not going insane. He won’t lose his mind from a silly visit of a historical site that Joshua brought him on.

Then a thought hits him - what if Joshua finds out about it somehow? If his best friend ever learns about what Jeonghan is going through, he’ll feel guilty. Like he’s not already beating himself over that sudden spell of nausea that overcame him then and over Jeonghan’s exhaustion and weakness.

He has to solve this. He has to figure it out, at least. Make any kind of first step of getting rid of this. Yesterday, he could easily dismiss it as a punishment for pushing himself too much - what else could he do? It was late, he needed to sleep. His own body protected him from the horrors that he can’t avoid today in the daylight. Sure, he’s still exhausted, but it simply doesn’t make sense.

Nothing makes sense. There’s no reason for him to have a psychotic break, so why? Why is this happening right when he most needs to be in a good condition? His fists clench and unclench, his jaw set. His eyes burn holes into the air in front of him. He can feel something there. He knows it’s there. He doesn’t understand why, he doesn’t understand what he’s dealing with, but he’s going to figure it out. Now.

Jeonghan struts into the bathroom and in the mirror - nothing. Only him. He takes a couple of deep angry breaths that sound too loud in the silent bathroom.

Not a speck of dust stirs. There’s no breeze. No cold ghostly touches brushing against his skin. If it was a dream, a trick of his exhausted body and mind, so be it. But he needs to be sure.“Show yourself,” he spits, “If there’s anything - anyone - following me, show yourself right now.”

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