#how can i go back to unlovable one dimensional characters??

[bigfreakinfrog]

i havent seen a single person on my dash talk abt starfield. we're all in baldurs gate hell

[artist-issues]

I love the comments and defense of the original Snow White but some people are not taking the defensive position that I would take, all things considered.

I mean, asking the question “since when is it bad to wish for love?” is one thing, but then sometimes people follow it up with, “and that’s not all she wanted! That’s not her main goal!”

Okay I appreciate you but yes it was. Let’s just call it like it is. And then don’t back down. Hear me out.

The first thing you learn about Snow-White is from that pretty opening-fairy-tale-book page, where it points out two characters: the wicked and vain stepmother who is afraid of Snow White and dresses her in rags to cover up her beauty, and uses her as a scullery maid—and Snow White herself, who is…well, used as a scullery maid.

Treated as a servant, and actively hated by the only family she has. And she’s a child. She hasn’t been alive very long to experience anything other than hatred and jealousy toward herself.

She’s even talking to birds, and the fact that they’re clustered around her from beginning to end of that opening scene indicates that they’re very comfortable with her and she talks to them all the time—because they’re the only positive interaction she gets to have.

That’s the situation that Snow White is in. But the first thing you learn about who she is and what she wants comes when she wishes in the well. And what’s she wishing for?

Love. The one she loves. A specific, male figure, who will say nice things to her and find her. She wants him to come quick. Why?

How silly. How vapid and shallow of her. How weak and one-dimensional. Please, goodness, can’t someone update her to have some depth?

NO. She is a young woman who is not given any love and is treated like a horrible nuisance who must be covered up in dirt and rags. She has no friends except birds, who can’t talk back. She is actively hated by the closest person to her.

It’s a miracle she even knows the word “love” and has the strength of character to believe in it after the situation she’s grown up in.

The song very specifically says “I’m wishing…for the one I love…to find me…today. I’m hoping…and I’m dreaming of…the nice things…he’ll say.”

She wants to be loved because she isn’t loved. Geez, she wants someone to say nice things to her. She wants to give her own love because she doesn’t have anything but courtyard doves to befriend. Of course it’s her goal. Of course it’s her wish. What wish or goal could be higher? And what wish or goal could be more natural for a character in her situation?

And even more than that, what could be stronger than believing that it will happen? This character who’s been unloved and mistreated by everyone takes a Prince at his word when he says he’ll give her that love. He promises it, and she believes him.

She has every opportunity and right to be bitter, hardened, anti-social, self-absorbed (pre-Huntsman and Dwarfs, she could very easily believe that nobody else is going to watch out for her except herself) and jaded. But instead she has this pure faith, which it takes a lot to maintain when everything has been ripped away from you. She could’ve been totally swamped by doubt and bitterness.

I mean, she could worry that the Prince won’t be able to convince her Stepmother to let him marry her.

Then when she gets chased into the woods for her life, she could fret that the Prince wouldn’t know how to find her.

Heck, she could just forget about him, give up, and say, “this is my life now, I’m living with these seven dwarfs and we’ll take care of each other, I guess that’s the most I can hope for.”

But no. She has faith in his promise, and hangs on to her dream, and sings, with total assurance, “Someday My Prince Will Come.” I mean, she won’t even let a moment of panic in the woods go by without reprimanding herself for losing that faith, for a second.

Can any of you say the same? Can any of you imagine being that kind of person: the kind of person who unashamedly wants to love and be loved in return, and when everything is stripped away and every chance at that taken from you, you hang on and believe anyway? You stay positive and even joyful anyway? For love?

Come on. Defend that. Yes, her goal was “just” to be loved. And to love in return. The fear of having her life taken from her, the necessity (not the desire for) freedoms from that, was just an obstacle in the way of being loved. And this isn’t a movie about Snow White’s natural reaction to abuse. It’s about her strength of faith in love in SPITE of that abuse. The spotlight is on her strength, not her weakness, but it’s strength of faith in love.

Anyway.

If you believe that it’s good and fine for a girl’s whole goal and fondest dream is to be loved, then don’t stand with one foot in that camp and another in the camp that says “girls want more than just love.” No, what? Love is the best thing a girl can want. I’m not talking about “romance.” I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about pure, self-sacrificial, kind love. It’s the best thing they can want, and Snow White is one of the only characters who does want it unashamedly, uncomplicated.

Just defend that. Don’t try to argue that the “Someday My Prince Will Come” Princess isn’t wholeheartedly after love. Makes it look like you don’t believe that’s as wonderful as it is.

[cavehags]

i realize this will probably bring up old drama so you might not want to answer it. but do you ever regret, however on purpose or on accident, bringing all that unnecesary hate towards Katara? i'm really sad and dissapointed tbh. i'm a woman of color and katara was so important to me growing up. my favorite animated woman ever. and then this resurgence comes and theres so, so much unnecesary hatred for her and everyone ignoring everything that makes her a good character.

(2/3) 2- and you know, i expected this from the male side of the fandom. they were misogynistic to her and the others even back then so i would expect it to be even worse with how internet culture is more mysogistic now that ever. and i wasnt wrong. male atla fans had some truly horrible takes and views that just came across as racism and misogyny. but, i expected these circles to be better. to be a safe space for us woc who love this character. but i found the same weird hatred for her.

(3/3) 3-i just, i cant believe i feel less welcome now that i did even back then. and back then i didnt even paricipate really. but at least i could enjoy fandom content without stumbling into misogyny and racism every other post. also sorry for sending this to your personal blog b i just wanted to let you know you controbuted to that too even if it wasnt your intention. at least you realized that and arent contributing to it anymore right? cause honestly the hate has only gotten worse not less.

hey anon. thanks for asking this question, because i hadn’t addressed this topic previously and this gave me an opportunity to do so. 

no, i don’t regret publicly interpreting a character whom i love through a nuanced and human lens. and i don’t regret combating the one-dimensional interpretation of this character, which posits that she’s merely an vaguely defined object of attraction for some boy or another, and a singularly gentle, mature, maternal figure whose sole purpose in life is to nurture others. those interpretations suck. they rob her of the humanity and complexity that make her character unique and they stem from misogynistic tropes that reduce women to the services they can provide to men. the thing in the world that matters most to me is fighting misogyny, and this trend to diminish a proud and powerful and angry teenage girl by exaggerating only her most socially acceptable traits is misogyny. 

unlike you, i did not grow up watching avatar: the last airbender. the shows i watched growing up did not have a lot of girls who felt real to me. the girls i saw on tv growing up were simple. they were the main characters’ crushes. they were simple, desirable, usually sweet and loving, and not much else. if they had a flaw, it was that they were, at best, “awkward.” whatever that means. or if they were the protagonists, which was rare, they were nice enough and tried to do the right thing, but they never had strong feelings like resentment and anger. they weren’t allowed to be unfeminine which meant they weren’t allowed to be bitter, angry or in any way flawed. they didn’t look like the version of girlhood i knew to be true for me personally, which included a lot of anger and frustration and powerlessness. 

that crappy representation left me with internalized misogyny that chased me for longer than i’d like to admit. i did not learn to think of girls as humans who could be as interesting and flawed and messy as the boys were. i did not value myself as a girl, and later a woman, because i thought the best thing a girl could be was... bland. boring. pretty, but empty. passionless.

it would have meant the world to me to see a character like katara. 

because katara is angry. she has every right to be: she’s had so much stolen from her, including her mother, her people, and her childhood. katara has a short fuse. she yells. she snaps. she fucks up. sometimes she makes mean jokes! i never saw a single one of those dreamily perfect cartoon love interests make mean jokes when i was a kid. she is extremely idealistic--it’s her defining character trait--but we see the bad side of that as well as the good. we see that her need to help others  leads her to act rashly, to get herself into danger, to put others in danger too. 

and she has her very own arc. it’s not about her love for another person, either (what a snooze of a storyline); it’s about growing up and learning to break down some of that stubborn black-and-white thinking that we all indulge in as children. it’s a true coming-of-age arc and it belongs to a fourteen-year-old girl. 

when i, to use a phrase i find crass, “entered the fandom,” i quickly realized that other fans’ perceptions of katara did not line up with the things i valued most about her. other fans seemed to valorize her most socially acceptable feminine qualities: her generosity, her kindness, her dedication to helping others. and of course i love those parts of her--i love everything about her--but what is really remarkable about avatar: the last airbender is that katara’s many important virtues are also counterbalanced by equally significant flaws. a good character has flaws. katara is a good character, and a deviation from the characters who made up my formative media landscape, because she has flaws. her temper, her idealism, her stubbornness--these are flaws. flaws make her seem real and human and challenge the mainstream sentiment that girls are not real or human.

it simply did not occur to me that celebrating these aspects of katara that make her a realistic and well-written teenage girl would spark ire from other adult fans. it absolutely did not occur to me that i would then be blamed for somehow causing misogynistic interpretations of this character, particularly given that misogynistic interpretations of this character are the very thing i sought to correct when i began to blog about this television show.

i’m told there are “fans” on instagram and tiktok who think katara is whiny, annoying, and overly preoccupied with her trauma. i do not use instagram or tiktok, so i wouldn’t know, but i’ll take your word for it. respectfully, however, they didn’t get that from me. misogynistic takes on katara have existed since before i came along. i have never, ever called katara whiny. and seeing as i have been treating my own PTSD in therapy for nine years, you can safely conclude that i don’t think anyone, katara included, is overly preoccupied with their trauma. that’s not a thing. do i think she’s annoying? of course not! as a character, she’s a delight. does she sometimes find real joy in aggravating her brother and her friends? yes, because she’s 14. i, an adult, am not annoyed by her. sokka and toph often are, because that is katara’s goal and katara always succeeds in her goals. she’s not “annoying.” 

if there are “fans” who are indeed following lesbians4sokka and somehow misreading every single post and interpreting them to mean that we hate katara and they should too, i don’t really know what you want me to do about that. l4s has over ten thousand followers and we have already posted so many essays disavowing katara hate. our feminist and antiracist objectives in running the blog are literally pinned with the headline “please read.”

furthermore, you cannot reasonably expect my co-blogger and me to control the way our words will be received. we should not have to, and are not going to, add a disclaimer to every post saying that when we critique or make jokes about a teenage girl we are doing so through a feminist lens. our url is lesbians4sokka, and we are clearly women. if that alone doesn’t make it obvious, then refer back to that pinned post. 

it is indescribably frustrating, and really goddamn depressing as well, that people are so comfortable with the misogynistic binary of Perfect Good Women and Flawed Wicked Bitches that they perceive any discussion of a woman’s flaws to be necessarily relegating her to the latter camp. if that is how you (a generic you) perceive women, then i’m sorry, but you’ve internalized sexism that i cannot cure you of. and it’s unjust to expect my friend and me to write for the lowest common denominator of readers who have not yet had their own feminist awakenings. we do not write picture books for babies. we write for ourselves, and with the expectation that our readers can think critically. reading media through a feminist lens is my primary interest; i have no intention of excising that angle from my writing.

as i go through my life, i am going to embrace the flaws of girls and women because not enough people do. as long as the dominant narratives surrounding women are “good and perfect” and “unlovable wh*re,” you’ll find me highlighting flawed, realistic, righteously angry women in the margins. and for what it’s worth, it’s not just katara. i champion depictions of angry girls in all sorts of media. that’s sort of my whole thing. my favorite movies are part of the angry girl cinematic universe: thoroughbreds, jennifer’s body, hard candy, jojo rabbit, et cetera. on tv, in addition to katara, you’ll find me celebrating tuca and bertie, poppy from mythic quest, tulip and lake from infinity train, korra, and more. i adore all these women and see myself in them. i hope you find this suitably persuasive to establish that i have sufficient Feminist Cred, according to your standards, to observe and write about these very flawed and human fictional women. 

what i’m saying is this: i decline to take responsibility for the misogynistic discourse orbiting a children’s cartoon. as someone who writes about that series from a perspective that seeks to add humanity and nuance to the reductive, one-dimensional, overwhelmingly sexist writing that already exists, i am pretty taken aback that i am the one being blamed for the very problem i sought to address. except not that taken aback because i am a woman online, haha! and this is always how it goes for us. 

finally, i think it sucks that you’ve chosen to blame me for a problem that begins and ends with the patriarchy. i can’t control the way this response will be perceived, just like how i can’t control the way anything will be perceived because i am just one human woman, but i do hope you choose to be reflective, and consider why you’ve chosen this avenue to assign blame. 

[sidecarghost]

My Reaction to Destiel in Spn 15x18 to 15x20

Notes: this will contain spoilers for up to series finale 15x20.

I am in LGBTQ+, and this is my personal opinion on the treatment of Destiel, Dean, and Castiel in episodes 15x18-15x20. The LGBTQ+ community is complex and varied, just like any community, so I do not intend for my views to be seen as representative. I think any reaction is just as valid as mine.

Castiel’s Declaration and Dean’s Response

I personally thought Misha Collins’ performance of Castiel’s declaration of love was earnest and authentic. It was beautiful, and I loved every word of it. What bothered me about 15x18 was Dean not reciprocating. I understand that love doesn’t always work out, but this is a LGBTQ+ relationship. There are so few LGBTQ+ relationships on tv, so it’s difficult to understand why anyone would see the need to add an unfulfilled LGBTQ+ relationship that leaves the queer character unloved. LGBTQ+ are just as worthy to be loved as cishet. Before this viewers could use their imagination, but now it’s pretty final that Dean never thought of Cas as more than a friend, and that Dean is vaguely to deeply disturbed by his BFF being in love with him.

I think 15x20 tried to firmly establish Dean as cishet (retconning any prior subtextual queer coding) by having Dean show more affection to his car joining him in Heaven then he had to his LGBTQ+ friend near death. I hate that Dean is so cold to Cas during that declaration scene, and then no other insight into Dean’s feelings is ever shown. So we can only infer Dean’s feelings from that scene and the reaction reads confused, disturbed, shocked, and disbelieving. And I feel second hand crushed for Castiel. That would not be a happy moment for me at all. Just because Dean doesn’t feel any attraction to Castiel I don’t think that excuses his coldness during the declaration. This was a heartless way to react to a close queer friends admittance to an attraction, and the cold shoulder reaction seems really OOC for Dean.

Dean is typically much more sensitive about other people’s feelings. I know he is often painted as tough and unfeeling, but that’s really when his own feelings are in question. Usually he seems very in tune when someone else needs emotional support, and here he is just like mentally checking out. Dean appears to be thinking “Oh my BFF is confessing his love, I will just gawk at him like he is some kind of crazy.” Then Dean’s last words to Castiel are “Don’t do this, Cas,” because he’d like his final message to be invalidating. And then there is HUGE problem that Dean was so disturbed by Cas’s declaration that he never mentions it over the course of 15x19 and 15x20. Even though his friend gave his life for him.

Bad Representation more Harmful than No Representtion

I could be wrong, but I feel like the inclusion of Destiel this late in the game just to make it unrequited was malicious. And that’s because Destiel is a big thing for fandom and especially LGBTQ+ in fandom. Even non-Spn fandom LGBTQ+ know all about Destiel. I never dreamed the ship would go canon, and that was fine because the show could play out and I could read and write fic. Destiel was a fun ship, because the characters had wonderful development from the show, and the actors had great chemistry and were good looking and talented. Dean and Cas were complex and multi-dimensional and ready to run a coffeehouse or become pop star wannabes in a televised singing contest.

The show never told fans Dean and Cas wouldn’t love each other, so it was so easy for me to imagine they would love each other. That has changed since I watched the finale. I personally can’t ship Destiel anymore because all I remember now is the angel giving the hunter his heart, and Dean being so cold and uncaring. Dean stays so far away from Cas like he can’t stand to be close to him. When the two characters used to be in each other’s personal space all the time. It’s like the show wanted me to know how wrong I was to ever read a romance there. As though I had personally offended Dean Winchester. I always thought Dean could be bi, but now he is canon cishet to me. Because if he was going to be attracted to a guy it’d be Cas, because he is the most badass character on show. I’m okay with explanation that Dean was shell shocked in 15x18, but Dean’s continued indifference in 15x20 makes it more likely to me that the show intended for Dean to just not feel that way about Cas.

LGBTQ+ Character Erased

The show ended 10 days ago, but many LGBTQ+ spn fandom members are still reeling from Castiel’s erasure from the story as soon as he came out. There was so much hope that the show was giving LGBTQ+ fandom a ship they never expected in 15x18. The way everything seemed to signal that Dean and Cas would be brought back together in 15x20. And theories abounded on possible scenarios. My personal favorite was Dean rescuing Castiel from the Empty in 15x20 as a reverse of Castiel rescuing Dean from Hell in 4x01. This felt historic to see an actual fandom mlm ship finally get validated on the show, like LGBTQ+ were being seen and told we were just as valid as cishet by the show we loved.

But in the end, the LGBTQ+ relationship was just a tease. A queer angel declared his love and died. Then Dean died so he’d never get chance to process his feelings (if he had any). Dean and the viewers learned Cas had been saved, but Dean never bothered to pray to Cas or make any other attempt to reconnect with him. Had Cas escaped before Dean’s death? Had Cas just let Dean die? We never find out. Whether intentional or not, Castiel no longer had any significance in the life or death of the man he loved so strongly. If you related to Cas the exemption was a gut punch. I saw Cas as important and he was my voice and my story, and then 15x20 had Castiel as unimportant to the story and he was silenced.

The Bury your Gay trope

Cas had come out, and now his last scene was his death. Castiel was written out of the show, and no one seemed willing to give him more than a passing thought. The series regular and reoccurring character of 12 years was treated like he was never very important to Dean or Sam. This wasn’t historic, this is the “bury your gay” trope and a real problem for LGBTQ+ representation in movies and shows.

Negative impact of teasing LGBTQ+ romance in movies and shows

15x18 didn’t just feature Cas coming out, his coming out could have been handled just like Chuck’s in season 11 by dialogue stating he liked guys too. Castiel’s coming out was part of a declaration of love to his best friend. This teased a possible LGBTQ+ romance between two male leads with no intention of follow through. Heteronormative fans can state my perspective was invalid, but I’d like to challenge them to see LGBTQ+ as just as valid and normal as cishet romance.

If unintentional:

this was insensitive and bad representation

If intentional:

at best queer baiting (Dean was cishet so any fans that thought reciprocation was possible were wrong. Never mind all the subtextual queer coding of Dean that non-heteronormative viewers had observed.)

at worst outright homophobia (if you read Dean as a closeted bisexual that is fridged before he has chance to come out)

The Intention of C* Spn?

I have to wonder what the LGBTQ+ in Spn fandom ever did to make the show runners so mad at us. I would really like to get the perspective of the show runners, because without that, it is just too easy to believe the worst.

Perceiving the Finale Message of We don’t Belong

And the worst is heart wrenching. The marginalized members of fandom that related to the outcast angel were excluded from the Winchester’s ending. Even though we cared about them so much over the years. Many members of fandom had found families, and were validated by the reoccurring theme that family doesn’t end in blood.

But the finale retconned that message. Castiel was queer, and he was erased. He wasn’t a part of Sam and Dean’s ending. Fandom that related to Castiel could see our affection for the brothers wasn’t reciprocated. We just helped when we were useful but in the end unworthy of love. Family actually did end in blood, and we were naive for believing otherwise.

Spn queer baited LGBTQ+ one last time to drive up viewership, so the marginalized part of the audience could bear witness to Castiel’s exclusion from the Winchester’s finale. We never belonged. This wasn’t our story. This was the story of cishet white brothers, Sam and Dean, that were the product of their cishet white parents, John and Mary, that lived up the road in their Heaven. The queer angel of the lord was not going to intrude in their story any longer, despite his devotion to them over the past 12 years. We didn’t belong, because Castiel didn’t belong.

Other Views are Valid

I just want to reiterate that everything I’m saying is just my own opinion. If other LGBTQ+ thought the episodes were perfect that is also very valid. If you are not a LGBTQ+ then I appreciate your support, and ask that you check any biases before disagreeing with my opinion. Cishet will never be made to feel marginalized, inferior, or abnormal because of their sexuality or gender. And if you want to save LGBTQ+ lives you can try to change your view to see queer as normal and become a LGBTQ+ ally.

TLDR;

Misha’s performance was amazing. Bobo Beren’s writing was brilliant. After 15x18, the romance was like a puzzle that had all the pieces carefully together except the last one. Then 15x20 took that beautiful, nearly complete puzzle and dumped it in a metal trash bin, soaked it in lighter fluid, and burned it to ash. I blame the showrunners. They should never have had a LGBTQ+ come out to have his love unrequited, die, and then get erased from the story. Bad representation is worse than no representation.

[bleachedsamurai]

In-Progress: IT(2017) Fan-Fiction

Hello, I’m BleachedSamurai, or if you like, you can call me Sarah.

I’m 32 and still pretty new too blogging, as I’ve never really gotten into it at first. I guess, I’m reconsidering to gain more online presence and traffic than on one site alone. I’m not sure if this is the right approach, but it’s worth a shot, right?

So, anyway, I’m working on this baby since July of 2019. I actually had it sitting on my drive for a long while, dare say October 2018. That is until I decided to share what I had so far, which at that point was the first chapter and a snippet. Now, I’m thirty-six chapters in, with two shorts included, and only two more to go. Well, three left, if I include the epilogue.

Anyway, I provided a section from the Snippet Chapter below the details to enjoy.

Title: Safe

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Drama

Characters: OC, IT/Pennywise, The Losers Club, Henry Bowers, Belch, and Victor - basically all characters are involved.

Summary: From being bullied by her peers and abused by her parents, thirteen-year-old Ruth finds haven and comfort from an unlikely source whom everyone fears. With the psychotic Pennywise the Dancing Clown, how will he handle a child who lives their nightmares daily and is devoid of life? Can someone from The Losers Club help Ruth? Or will an unlikely friend guide her? AU 2017 Film Based.

                                               ~ Snippet ~ 

She laid there in the darkness, waiting for sleep. Ruth stared at the fabric of the Victorian couch, counting the threads. She made it to seven when a strangled sob leaves her lips. Ruth grimaces, tears streaming from her eyes now. The feel of her father's hand unpleasantly burned on her skin still. She tucked a hand in between her legs and squeezed her thighs. Maybe she can rub away the horrid touch. No, there is no soothing it away. Another sob quakes within her lungs and sniffles. Why?

Ruth curls, bending herself to fit on the narrow couch. Her tears continue to fall. As she settled in a fetal position and hope for sleep to come, Ruth felt some water on her cheek. She gasps, snapping her eyes to the rotted ceiling. In the back of her mind, Ruth thought maybe Pennywise the Clown was watching from above, drooling. No, she is not that lucky. Even if he were, Pennywise wouldn't scare her. Probably not ever, Ruth is not afraid of the clown.

Ruth felt the drop again. She scans the ceiling, there's a leak. Another fell on her forehead, which Ruth groans. She hugged close, covering herself with an arm. Why?

She laid in silence. The only exception is rolling thunder that shook the house and the padding of light rain. Ruth didn't mind it, though. The ambiance of an approaching storm and the noises of the settling house can lull her to sleep. With a rumble was a small creak. Ruth paid no mind to the sound as it could be the wind blowing a door open since she felt a breeze. No, it was not the wind.

Pennywise slowly stalked out from the shadows, watching Ruth intently. His eyes glowed gold as he silently approached like a snake in the grass. He grinned wildly with glee at the sight of the unaware Ruth lying awake still. As he came closer, the sounds of weeping filled his ears. Pennywise stalls, listening to the sobs and watching the young girl violently shake. She moves. Her arms cover her head, shielding herself from the constant drip of rainwater leaking above. That's not the cause of her distress, though. He pressed forward, silkily sliding across the floor and hunkers low feet away from his prey. He sniffs the air. An unfamiliar scent rafts his nostrils. Pennywise doesn't smell fear, but a musky male's cologne lingering on the child's body. His features contort into confusion. He slowly stood to tower over the small and fragile girl. Pennywise then notices the red blotches on her arms and legs, along with a few bruises.

A roll of thunder rumbles and a flash of lightning illuminated the dark space. Pennywise caught a glimpse of the extent of the markings. Not only does Ruth have large red welts and bruises, adorning her exposed thighs are scratches. There is also a bite mark. Pennywise's chest constricts, his golden eyes snap at Ruth shielding herself.

In his mind, he can hear Ruth screaming, "Get away from me! No! Getaway! Get off me, get off!"

Pennywise blinks, his eyes glowing brighter. "No! Stop, please! Get off!"

A frown adorned his ancient lips, no longer grinning. Ruth's cry of pain echoed in his head, the male bit her. His eyes flick back to the bite mark on her thigh. It was an attempt to force themselves on the child. The sound of smacking and grunting from her punching and kicking at her attacker reverberated in his brain. Her feet slapped against floorboards and pavement, Ruth had escaped. Her feet confirmed it as they are swollen and bloodied. Ruth's footprint to the couch is a good indicator. Pennywise understood, she didn't have time to throw on shoes. Ruth had to leave the house.

He heard the male calling out, rushing after her. "Ruthie! You fucking little bitch! Get your scrawny ass back here, you fucking slut! Get back here!"

Ruth is quick to duck behind shrubs, running out of sight.

He then heard her desperate cries for help as the girl ran down the street. No one bothered to glance out their windows. Not his fault by any means. The girl already has a name about her being the bastard daughter of the town's whore. The emotional scars on her heart revealed that Ruth is continuously bullied by her peers, even the bunch that are wanting to be rid of him. The torment she goes through with her mother is another. The woman physically and emotionally abuses her child. She's even neglectful in feeding Ruth, letting her fend for herself. It's no wonder Ruth is petite and frail.

Ruth is unloved and alone in this world. No one cared. She has nowhere to go that feels safe. Except, it lies here where nightmares of his creation reside.

Within a blink, his eyes dimmed. Pennywise remained to watch Ruth, listening to her sobs and sniffles. When he first saw the child, he knew Ruth was a victim of child abuse. To discover the child is molested and sexually abused made his innards unpleasantly squirm. From the sounds of Ruth's light wails, she has been dealing with the mistreatment for a long time now. For some reason, Ruth's despair sickened him to the core.

Rainwater dripped on her again, Ruth curls tighter and shudders a sob.

"Why?" Ruth faintly mumbles.

Pennywise frowns, blinking. The gold in his eyes disappear, replaced with innocent bright blues. He can't find it in his evil heart to scare Ruth. IT could, if he genuinely wanted to, that is. He can end it instantly for her, so she wouldn't have to deal with the loneliness or the abuse anymore. She will be free. Except, he couldn't. Pennywise the Clown, the evil ancient dimensional being, could not find it in his heart to frighten poor Ruth. He decided to leave her be. The dark Neibolt house will be Ruth's haven. It will protect her from the world.

Another drop landed on her covered head, making her shiver. Pennywise glances at the ceiling. He uses his power to cover the hole, stopping the unforgiving drip. He leaves the couches side, away from Ruth to sleep. He squats far, watching the girl still with a disgusted frown.

Why?

Full Story Here: fanfiction.net/Safe

[vaultdweller]

@imunbreakabledude tagged me and my first thought was - TV Show? I don’t know her.

But then my brain function returned so here we go

1. The Nanny (my OG TV obsession)

2. Killing Eve

3. Criminal Minds

4. Parks and Recreation

5. Brooklyn 99

Who is your favorite character in 2?

Eve Polastri. Villanelle is a good character, but what really makes her, I think, is how Jodie portrays her. But Eve has such depth and nuance. There are so many complicated things happening with her and she has such potential. Even with how they kind of butchered her character in Season 2 she is still my favorite.

Who is your least favorite character in 1?

Dusting off some vintage Opinions here but CC was not a good character as she was written. She is so one-dimensional! Like it was just the same gag over and over about her being in love with Mr. Sheffield and being desperate. I get that this was the 90’s but still, write a two-dimensional female character, please.

What is your favorite episode of 4?

“The Fight” because the Snake Juice sequence is one of the funniest sequences in television ever.

What is your favorite season of 5?

Probably the first two seasons, before they started adding plots that were more drawn out. I really love that “monster/crime of the week” format and the later B99 season have not really done it for me

Who is your favorite couple in 3?

An Opinion here, but I dislike every couple in this series. I don’t think there should be couples, I think this should strictly be a show about profiling and catching serial killers and their personal lives should be left out of it.

Who is your favorite couple in 2?

The only possible answer to this is Villanelle and Eve like, it’s the whole show. That’s it, that’s the show.

What is your favorite episode of 1?

Ohhhh man there are so many good ones. The one where Fran and Val get kidnapped and held ransom by the people who run the Mr. Softy truck and Mr. Sheffield has to go through this lame action sequence to put the clues together and rescue them? The one where Fran lands a recurring spot on the Rosie Show giving childcare advice? The one where Lamb Chop gets eaten by CC’s dog??? How could I choose??

What is your favorite episode of 5?

Any of the Halloween heist episodes, hands down. They are all just like, a masterclass in plot twists and comedy.

What is your favorite season of 2?

Season 1, definitely. PWB just did such an amazing job escalating the tension between Eve and Villanelle, laying the scene and creating like, the perfect highwire between gory crime and comedy and dark humor. Both Jodie and Sandra were at their best with PWB and I would rewatch that season over and over and over. (However, I don’t dislike Season 2 or the ending!)

How long have you watched 1?

As I said, this was my OG TV obsession starting in like, middle school. It was on Lifetime every day at like, 3 p.m. and 3:30 p.m., followed by Golden Girls at 4 p.m. I believe, and I would tape every episode so I could go back and watch it later. I literally had the whole series on tape for a while.

How did you become interested in 3?

I like true crime and I like shows about serial killers so this scratches all those itches. It’s also just a great show to have on in the background, but you can also get super into it. The writing can be really good too. Plus I love any show that I can just put on a random episode on and fall into it.

Who is your favorite actor in 4?

Rashida Jones, but mostly because she is one of the few people on that show not roiled up in asshole/sexual abuse/#MeToo stuff. Parks is one of those shows, along with 30 Rock, that has basically become really hard to watch again now. And now someone is going to @ me with something Rashida Jones has done and I’ll have no one.

Which do you prefer - 1, 2 or 5?

You’re going to make me choose between my children, The Nanny and Killing Eve???? This is exactly like Sophie’s Choice.

I would probably prefer to watch The Nanny, but I prefer the Killing Eve universe/characters/setting better.

I like B99 but like, there’s literally no competition.

Which show have you seen more episodes of 1 or 3?

Criminal Minds, but on a technicality because it has more episodes than The Nanny. However, if you counted all the times I’ve seen all of the episodes of The Nanny, it would be the far and away winner, second only to The Golden Girls for number of times watched.

If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

April, for sure. I basically already am. The weirdly quiet and morbid but competent assistant? Check. Except I would absolutely not end up with Andy. Gross.

Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

Yes and it would be HILARIOUS. Imagine the BAU showing up to investigate a serial killer in Pawnee. Leslie would be trying to insert herself into the investigation and end up getting in everyone’s way. Ron would refuse to cooperate and mock the BAU agents for working for the government. Tom would spend the whole episode trying to flirt with JJ. April and Reid would get along in a really creepy way. And Jerry would be the killer.

Someone make this happen!

Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple

I’m all about making things gay, and I think Fran and CC getting together would be the ultimate gay bait and switch. It would be like, the opposite of queerbaiting and be AMAZING.

Like, picture it - For 4 seasons Fran thinks she’s falling in love with Mr. Sheffield and CC thinks she loves Mr. Sheffield because she’s supposed to because of her social class. They hate each other for it, until something happens and they both realize, wait, Mr. Sheffield ain’t shit. Also, other than Niles, CC is the only one who could really match Fran’s fire. Plus I’m a sucker for enemies to lovers, guys!! Except I did NOT like the Niles and CC pairing at the end! Please subscribe for more dusty-ass Opinions on The Nanny.

Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

This is hard because both of these shows have done things I really really like and things I hate. They also both kind of have the same basic premise of “cops catch bad guys” except B99 has more of a social commentary? And Criminal Minds is a formula-based cop show about catching serial killers that tries to really shoehorn in moral messages. I’d say I like Criminal Minds storyline better, but only when they’re doing that killer-of-the-week formula.

Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

Nothing can compete with breathy women singing about loving women and killing people, so Killing Eve. I would let Unloved write the whole soundtrack to my life.

[sparda3g]

My Hero Academia Chapter 226 Review

This is a rather conflicting chapter for me to grade on. On one hand, there are points that I like such as Toga’s backstory and the battle’s conclusion. On the other hand, there are points that reminded me on why the series’ formula needs an update or change that will benefit in the long run. It also doesn’t help to assure the purpose behind the new faction. When it comes down to the overall, it was a good chapter that was saved by focusing on Toga, one in which is long overdue for adding character’s depth.

From the get-go, the flashback shows many people interviewed about Toga’s strange behavior. She was seen as an outcast, weird, and unloved for who she really is. She even drank a popular boy’s blood back in middle school. There’s a couple of blocked text to hide Toga’s real name for some reason. It could be nothing or maybe a plot twist; who knows. Bottom line, she was not seen as normal for her fascination with blood.

The chapter shifts to the battlefield. I thought Toga will make a comeback at this point, but instead she collapse, leaving the floor room to Curious. This means more rambling, though because of her knowledge, her words basically narrates Toga’s life story. I believe that’s her whole point of her character; other than that, she’s rather single dimensional, and that’s disappointing. Anyway, Toga’s backstory is exploited further, where it becomes clear that her life cannot relate to society; eventually, pushed her away.

She has a strange fascination with blood, be it human or animal. People around her, family included, were disgusted by her action and smile. So much for the phrase, “A face that only a mother can love.” Reminding Toga of her past pisses her off, but Curious brings out a special glove and Curious Burst her face. Toga is at a clear disadvantage. She tries to run away, but she can’t get too far ahead. By this point, she was narrating how her life was never unhappy because of what she believes in.

She uses Ochako’s blood, transforming into her; I almost laugh at the ideal she does more work than the real self. Anyway, it doesn’t matter because it’s only for a disguise, not to use a quirk like one. We’ll get to that soon. Bottom line, Toga is screwed one way or another. Disguising as Ochako reminds her that she is lucky to have Deku’s complete trust in her and she wants to be like that. That’s her life. That’s actually a bit sad. If only she wasn’t this crazy.

Right before Toga gets another Curious Burst head-on, Curious begins to float. No, the real Ochako isn’t there and reveal as the big traitor as one theorized. No offense. It was Toga that made her float. She goes after other enemies, touching one-by-one. She recalls one of her ways of living as a villain: don’t get caught. This push her further and further to overcome the odds. Hero much? She realizes that she can use Ochako’s quirk.

According to Curious, she implies that quirk has evolved or upgraded by the power of fear, or in Toga’s case, it might as well be the power of love, even if her definition is twisted. This seems to reinforce the idea of feelings to be the key to unlock more power-ups. Even Deku’s recent new quirk was said to be reflected by his emotions. Toga regains her sadistic smile and release the float on Curious, dropping her from high up in the sky, straight to the ground. You see, when you’re a villain, this type of display is welcomed. Granted, heroes can do that in other series, but for this one, you need to count on a villain to be violent. Dead or knocked out, the battle has ended and Toga continue to live on to do what she knows best: destroy.

Let me first address the parts I like. I like the backstory of Toga. It’s simple, straight-forward, and reasonable. She was outcast by society, but she stood by her way of living, including love. I also like the struggle she was facing against Curious, probably the only good part aside from the ending. Speaking of which, it ended cool because it was dark and somewhat new to the series. We hardly see a villain gets the win; actually, probably never. Because it involved with two villains, a loss wouldn’t be harmful, like “Oh no! He’s my favorite hero! I really like that guy!” Basically, anything goes.

The problem I have is the execution. Let me first address the main key before everyone begin shoving at me. Yes, I know in volume 19, it was addressed that Toga can copy quirk alas Monoma 2.0. The problem is how it was presented. I have to look back at the past chapters, and the last time her quirk was described was in Internship Arc. That was the last time. It never said anything about copying quirk. Now, if we go by volume 19 additional detail, just exactly when Toga knows she can do it. The answer is just now. It can go many ways. You can say volume 19 spoiled the surprise of this chapter. You can say volume 19 was more or less contradicted since this chapter was designed as a big update. Which is it?

Removing the detail from volume 19, let’s talk about the idea of quirk’s evolution. I don’t have much of a problem with it. If anything, I would have prefer this over Six Quirks of Deku. That begs the question, why not use this concept instead. Maybe it’s not about evolution, but simply another technique. Whatever it is, at least this will keep character up-to-date. Although, everyone has a quirk, so it still applies the same effect; only few characters will get the spotlight. I can only hope Kohei’s imagination is expansive if he’s willing to go through with evolution. It’s passable; what’s troubling however, is the execution.

Toga acquired the ability to use other’s quirk. First of all, is having multiple quirks the Senju DNA of My Hero, where it becomes the most abusive tool to obtain godlike? It’s getting really old. Second, if volume 19 said she can do it, why is this a big surprise to her? Even if she did know, only she has properly control it, how convenient this was. It would have been a lot more interesting to see overcome the odds since that was the narrative it was pushing for. It can be said the same for acquiring a new ability, but it’s more of a cheap getting out of the corner technique. It’s the same problem this series seems to keep on bringing.

People would argue that Shounen series tends to have the characters acquire a new technique and win the battle. The difference is it’s not done as a game changer, rather a deciding factor. Naruto has Sage Mode; it wasn’t the endgame. Luffy has Gear 3; it wasn’t the endgame. Even the last big fight wasn’t as one-sided or one-hit kill. This wouldn’t be a problem if the battle structure would alter for each one. It’s either a brand new power or overwhelming defeat. The storytelling is getting repetitive, or already has. Plus, it’s odd for a villain to obtain a heroic factor to win, but they are designed for us to grow attach to their characters. I guess that’s why Curious hardly has any, and I could expect for others as well.

The battle was mediocre suffered by familiar structure, weak opponent in many ways, and a cheap turnaround. At least the ending was cool though. The artwork is pretty solid as well. I still like the chapter despite its execution. Toga’s backstory was long overdue to address, so it was good to learn more about her. Simple but effective. She is arguably fans’ favorite villain, so this is a great treat. My concern for the Meta Liberation Army has grown. They’re here as stepping stones. Maybe it’s still early to say, but perhaps I’m being optimistic. We’ll see after the break.

[thisguyatthemovies]

Hungry, hungry sharks

Title: “The Meg”

Release date: Was in theaters Aug. 10, 2018; released on Blu-ray and DVD on Nov. 13, 2018

Starring: Jason Statham, Bingbing Li, Winston Chao, Rainn Wilson, Ruby Rose, Page Kennedy, Jessica McNamee, Olafur Darri Olafsson, Robert Taylor, Cliff Curtis, Sophia Shuya Cai, Masi Oka

Directed by: Jon Turteltaub

Run time: 1 hour, 54 minutes

Rated: PG-13

What it’s about: A team of oceanographers sent below the previously presumed deepest point of the Pacific discovers a megalodon – a giant shark thought to be extinct millions of years ago – that soon wreaks havoc when it makes its way to the ocean’s surface.

How I saw it: Let’s as quickly as possible get the fundamental comparisons out of the way. Yes, like “Jaws,” “The Meg” is a summertime movie about a gigantic killer shark. Both films are about man (or in the case of “The Meg,” man and woman) against beast. Both movies naturally spend a lot of time on and in the water.

But you, “The Meg,” are no “Jaws.”

Sure, “The Meg” wants to remind you of “Jaws,” the 1975 Steven Spielberg movie that often is credited with creating the summer blockbuster genre. Certain moments in the newer film appear to be an homage to a movie that spawned many imitators. The makers of “The Meg” undoubtedly relished their film even being mentioned in the same breath as “Jaws.” It certainly didn’t hurt at the box office.

But here’s a partial list of all the ways the new one doesn’t measure up to the classic:

*Once it settles in and heads out to the water, “Jaws” is the story of three men (eventually reduced to two) in search of a largely (to that point) unseen shark. “The Meg” gets everyone involved. And I mean everyone. And I mean everyone that represents a cliché. Or just dramatic device.

Action movie go-to guy Jason Statham is a diver sent to rescue a team sent to below the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. He’s a doesn’t-play-by-the-rules guy who is an alcoholic and possibly crazy (we are often reminded of this) and is carrying around a bunch of regrets. And he must be talked into leading the rescue effort, insisting he would never go back into the water. Of course. And – wouldn’t you know it? – his ex-wife is among the stranded oceanographers. Rainn Wilson, for some reason, plays a billionaire financing research of the bottom of the Pacific. He’s no ordinary billionaire, though, and we know this because he wears running shoes and a ballcap, and he gets to say such lines as “Hell yeah.” There’s a little girl who seems to be running free largely unsupervised in an underwater ocean observation facility and is clearly here to remind us this is supposed to be emotional stuff. Model-turned-actress Ruby Rose supposedly is the brains behind the operation, and because she has lots of tattoos and a snarl, we know she’s the edgy one. There are many more one-dimensional characters, so many that, despite director Jon Turteltaub’s best efforts to spread the ball around, most of them just get a line in here and there and easily could have not existed.

*”Jaws,” at least in the early going, has a morality conundrum. The mayor of Amity Island wants to keep the beaches open to make money despite the presence of a killer shark. The police chief, with his own family in danger, wants to err on the side of safety. There is little of that in “The Meg,” save for one line that the head of the ocean observation facility utters about halfway through, something about humans observing nature and then destroying it. If you think that means “The Meg” is more fun than “Jaws,” think again. “The Meg” is kind of fun, but largely unintentionally. “The Meg” should have been really fun. But it takes itself too seriously, and it just isn’t good enough for anyone to take seriously.

*When he made “Jaws,” Spielberg did it the old-fashioned way – without CGI. His shark was mechanical, and yet somehow it seemed more like a real shark than the megalodon (make that megalodons; there’s two of them, as it turns out). In a couple of places, the meg is flat-out scary. And way bigger than the shark in “Jaws.” The great white in “Jaws” would be an appetizer for the meg. But at other moments the CGI in “The Meg” is ridiculous, including the climatic scene. Perhaps part of the issue is this. Like Alfred Hitchcock, Spielberg seemed to understand that we are more afraid of what we can’t see than what we can. The meg makes its first appearance early in “The Meg,” and we see a lot of it. And that familiarity seems to reduce the impact of a beast that should have been scaring the crap out of us.

*”Jaws” includes a few funny moments, but just enough to remind us that, despite people being shredded by a shark, it is intended to be good summer fun. “The Meg,” despite its heavy-handedness (a lot of it thanks to Statham) and a couple of side dramas (including that old standby, the seemingly unloving father), reduces most of its characters to the type of humor typical of action movies. That is, quick lines that the least discerning of moviegoers might find funny before they are quickly forgotten. And Wilson, here as the center of the comic relief, is far more annoying than hilarious. And he’s annoying about 10 seconds after his introduction.

“The Meg” was never going to be “Jaws,” but it could have gone for all-out cheesiness and would have been better for it. Or could have cut out one-third of the cast (instead of them being devoured one at a time by the meg) and would have been better for it. Or it could have sidestepped much of the forced drama and been better for it. Or found a way to work around the clichés (a doctor doesn’t like Statham’s character at first, but – surprise! – he grows to admire him, and they have a moment). It could have been a movie so bad that it was good, but instead it settled for just bad enough that it’s just not very good.

My score: 27 out of 100

Should you see it? It’s your money and time.

[helloandwelcometomariasblog]

Review #76: Record of Youth (Ep 11-12)

I have felt two main things while watching the past few episodes.

The first is a somewhat positive feeling towards some of the new conflicts that have been taking place. I wasn't sure what it was that made those conflicts feel so real and deep, and then I realised that it was Park Bogum's acting. I don't think he was this good back in Love in the Moonlight. Or more like, the story didn't allow for such subtle facial acting. His prince character in that drama wasn't as deep or multi-dimensional as Hyejun is. All the prince character did was be obsessively in love and get angry and look good and smart. Almost every time he was provoked by that annoying counsellor for the king, he was somehow able to keep calm and always fight back with sarcasm.

Hyejun, on the other hand, feels more real. He deals with real emotions and shows each and every small emotional change to the audience. It's really amazing how subtle those changes are but how clearly they show on his face.

I've really liked the conflict he's been having with Jeongha lately. It's real and raw and the drama doesn't make it into mere comedy. I think there are a few scenes that stood out to me (well, provided almost all of their scenes together being conflict scenes now). The first one is when they brush against a serious conflict for the very first time. Before this moment, they never address anything seriously, and both of them kind of brush it off. Usually Jeongha brushes it off as though she's never hurt and she always understands. I used to think she was mature for doing that. I used to think, that's what adult dating is about. But now I'm not so sure.

Jeongha does the same thing this time round, but you can tell there's discomfort and unsaid words hanging in the air. It's the scene where Jeongha jokingly tells Hyejun that she's had inconveniences from his sudden fame too, then when Hyejun's all ears about it, she brushes it off again and makes the atmosphere light by lying and saying that she's a busy woman too with her own personal studio.

This scene kind of pained me. Not just this scene, but with every Hyejun-Jeongha scene we get now, it's just tension and unsaid words all round. They never have a frank discussion about how they're feeling and where their relationship is headed and it really pains me. Like I said, I used to think it was the adult thing to do - to swallow petty feelings and understand the other person, talk and act in a way that doesn't make them feel bad, pretend to be positive. But seeing Jeongha, my thoughts are changing. Is this the downfall of being too independent and self-sufficient in life? We all know that Jeongha doesn't like getting help from people. We also know that she doesn't like sharing her troubles with others either. She said it once, something like, love means not sharing your heavy burden. Something like that. I agreed with it back then and nodded my head, but I'm really getting second thoughts seeing how her relationship with Hyejun is turning out.

If you can't be honest with your partner... it's not good. Jeongha is just pretending 24/7 that she's okay and that she's not the type to get sad and angry over the "trivial" things. That she's not petty. But it's all an act. She is sad and angry. And that above scene was pretty powerful because Hyejun's face just falls at the possibility that he might've hurt Jeongha. Hyejun as a character is so expressive and honest with his feelings, I think that may be another reason why Jeongha hesitates from being completely honest. If I had a partner who reacted to each and every emotional change I was going through, I might be like Jeongha too.

But still, it needs to be shared. Sigh, dating is hard. You just can't avoid conflict. Yeah, there's the dreamy side to it and that's what you get when you first start off usually but conflict hits you pretty quickly too. And then it's just conflict all throughout and having to deal with that and talk through every itsy bitsy feeling and thought. Tiring. Very tiring.

Anyways, going back to Hyejun and Jeongha. The actual serious conflict they have though is when that article about Jia goes through. Hyejun goes to see Jeongha and you can just tell she's not happy. She doesn't even smile - or even force a smile - as Hyejun comes through the door. What really bothers me and something I just don't understand is why there's no physical affection every time they meet up. If I hadn't seen my dear boyfriend for a long time and he came over, I would be hugging him at least! But these two never greet or farewell each other with a hug or a kiss. I don't get it. They've done even more than that already and they don't feel the desire to be physically close to each other every time they meet?

Or maybe that's just a sign of them becoming even more distant with each other as time goes by - which makes me even more sad. Not seeing them bond, both emotionally and physically, is just sad for someone who used to ship them. There's just too much tension and discomfort in the air - but let's face it, it's necessary and natural with their current situation.

Even rewatching that scene where they fight (somewhat calmly) for the first time brings back the tense feeling I got back then. They both start off trying to ease the atmosphere by smiling a bit, and then Jeongha gets (very calmly) angry for the first time - how come you never discuss these things with me beforehand? Why do you make me go through a million thoughts by myself? And Hyejun is right, she's super calm but that makes it even scarier. Hyejun at this point is still trying to keep it light. They're both similar in that sense. They're both calm and they both try and avoid conflict. Then Jeongha bursts out for the first time (albeit still calmly) and you can see the changes in Hyejun's expression. Jeongha's annoyed face and Hyejun's surprised and hurt face are both faces we've never really seen from them in Hyejun-Jeongha scenes and that's what makes it very special. I guess this is the moment in a relationship where you realise that your partner can be just as unlovely as some of the other people around you. It's reality though. Even Hyejun gets a little heated as he lets out his own honest feelings about the matter. The atmosphere gets tense and uncomfortable.

BUT. It's at this moment where Hyejun extends his hand to Jeongha. I think this is a key moment. Hyejun decides to bridge the gap and change that tense atmosphere. Jeongha puts her hand in his and then Hyejun says, I love you much more than you think.

Then, as the episode continues, I'm sitting there thinking - really? Because the more I watch, the less I'm starting to believe that. And if I'm like this, how little of it would Jeongha be believing?

I started seeing more of their relationship deteriorate when Hyejun couldn't get Jeongha's call and called her later in the hotel in Singapore. By that time, Jeongha was already at home from being picked up by Hyehyo. Damn, what a move. I guess this scene shows just how tired Jeongha has become, to resort to calling her boyfriend's friend, someone she knows might have feelings for her. She would have never done that in the past. But she's tired now and she really needs someone to care about her. She shouldn't have done that though. Seeing her invite Hyehyo into her house and avoid talking to Hyejun on the phone for long made me feel icky as heck. She didn't even tell Hyejun that Hyehyo was over - just to not make him worry. That honestly feels wrong. And seeing Hyejun's face drop when Jeongha lightly rejects his request of talking on the phone for long, that was painful too. You can just tell that at that moment their relationship is clearly declining.

But then again - does Hyejun really love Jeongha? If he did, he would have at least checked his phone on the plane. There's wifi and everything on the plane now, we all know that. He could have, but all he did was watch a movie. If he really loved Jeongha, he would have thought about her at least once. That's the downfall of this so-called "mature" relationship between these two. They're both so independent and so used to doing everything by themselves, they don't feel the need to reach out to their partner, to be perfectly honest with them about their feelings, and depend on them. Dating is hard. That is the conclusion.

I really need to stop writing and continue the drama, but I just have to mention that I loved the conflict scene between Hyejun and Hyehyo too. That was some raw emotion and I liked how the boys didn't fight physically. It's more interesting when they fight with words and it contains much more complex emotions. One day I really gotta sit down and ask myself why I'm so obsessed with conflict scenes and why I like them so much. Probably because I like seeing characters show their emotions so freely and become raw and honest with the people they care about. Maybe I find it cathartic because I myself suck at doing that and avoid it at all costs.

ONE more thing to mention before I leave. I absolutely hate the reporter. I know the actress from heart signal, but I feel like I've never hated a character so much. She's just downright fucking evil. She has no other character trait than being a bitch. At least Lee Taesu has a backstory and has some hardships of his own and has a brat like Doha giving him hell. That journalist has absolutely no other character trait than being a selfish money-hungry biatch. Whenever I see her, I swear I lose a little bit of faith in humanity. I've actually started understanding Hyejun's dad little by little and I've really liked seeing the feelings and changes he is going through, along with the difficulties in his heart as Hyejun rises to stardom, but this journalist? Just no. When she's at the police station trying to get a scoop and repeating, "strong denial means it's true" I honestly wanted to slap her hard on the face. There are quite a few people in this drama that are a bit too angering and that's one of the few negatives of the show.

I'm pretty sure I had one more thing to discuss here but I can't fully remember now. Oh yes - I remembered. Just about the entertainment industry in general. It's been crazy seeing how obsessed people are with celebrities and it's been disgusting seeing how obsessed some people are with seeing them fail. It's actually made me not want to read any news of them from now on. It feels pointless. There are so many rumours going around daily about all sorts of celebrities. We will probably never know the full truth about them. I think I'd rather just not look into them in the first place.

[princepestilence]

Okay, I’ve been sick for about three days straight now (a cold, a fever, nothing serious but nothing fun) and I’m just having a whole lot of feelings about Hogwarts houses and interhouse friendships and alliances and characterisation right about now, sparked by this post, so I’m going to indulge myself in nattering on the topic and maybe it will be partially coherent!

This will be about Slytherin/Hufflepuff, by the way.

Preface: I’m thinking about this through my personal lens as someone who feels strongly and deeply a connection to Slytherin house (and always has, since I was eight and read the first book) but has a love and respect for all houses and frankly enjoys the imperfectness of the house system at Hogwarts. 

My identification with Slytherin comes from a combination of being frustrated with Rowling’s “evil house” mentality/canon characterisation (as a monster-enraptured queer kid, of course I loved the unloved and also was by nature defiant, contrary, and very hostile to/suspicious of blanket statements of “X people are innately bad”) and a belief (even at the age of nine) that I could live fairly happily and excel in any house if I wanted to, but it was Slytherin who would most benefit from me being a part of it because of its bad reputation/problems, as I believed it needed people who cared about fixing it and being good Slytherins and changing the way things were done (please take a moment to consider how insanely confident and arrogant and ambitious I was as a kid to think something like this). Picking any other house felt like taking the “not my problem” route, and when I first read my way into the Harry Potter series, I very much did feel a unique kinship with the concept of Slytherin--ambitious, resourceful, good leaders, careful and slow to act, clever, artful, and survivors above all else--if not the actual characters/house in canon itself, and therefore it did feel like it was my problem and not picking that house would be the same as running away or being irresponsible or something. This feeling has only grown over the many years. Anyway.

Hufflepuff, conceptually, is probably my favourite house! Helga Hufflepuff was undoubtedly the best founder and her tenets of belief are things I really believe in and care about in real life far more than any other house’s core ethos, and probably because of that--and because someone needs to love the underdog and it might as well be me--I’ve been a long-time supporter of Hufflepuff, since it doesn’t get the respect and attention it deserves and its members are made to feel less important/throwaways from the other houses, which! is! not! true! This brings me to the point of this one-sided discussion, which is that basically everyone characterises Hufflepuff completely wrong and in this really soppy, useless, “nice and nothing else” way, and I get personally upset about that a lot because, again, my favourite house and also some of my favourite people (who are amazing in their own right) have been Hufflepuffs. So!

The central tenets of the Hufflepuff ethos: hard work, loyalty, patience, justice, fairness, caring for others, doing what’s necessary, dedication, humility, rising to meet the challenges an unfair, uncaring, unjust world presents to you.

How people characterise Hufflepuffs: super nice, super chill and relaxed supportive “mum friend” types who’re basically all stoners, worry about other people a lot, hide behind other scarier/more action-oriented friends from other houses when intimidated and require protection from the big mean world, sort of simple-minded, not competitive, push-overs and don’t get angry or get ineffectually “mad” but it’s cute so whatever. 

What people who embody the Hufflepuff ethos are actually like: 

The two most Hufflepuff people I’ve ever known are also the two friends I’ve looked up to as my leader at different times in my life--and that’s not a coincidence. Their groundedness, their kindness, their generosity with their time, their patience, their trustworthiness, their humility (without it ever being false modesty), their genuine compassion and interest in other people, their willingness to not allow unkindness and step in when things were wrong, their calm certainty that things will be okay, and their work ethic all were inspirational for me and I learned so much about who I wanted to become and how to become that person (the person I am becoming now) by watching them. In both these people I found extremely meaningful friendships that changed the course of myself and my life, and left impacts that are still part of the landscape of who I am. 

One of them was my first ever real best friend, who I met in about year three or four. I was new to the school and this was a good while before my social skills really started to develop, so I was perhaps at my most prickly and difficult, and she still reached out to me and befriended me, even though I honestly think I had all the charm of a feral cat back then. She was patient and gentle and so incredibly slow to anger, which was the opposite of me at the time, and she would just laugh off any snarkiness of mine and bump me on the shoulder or mess up my hair and tell me to cool off or make some goofy joke that would totally undermine whatever serious sulk I thought I was having. When I was being my worst self at someone, she would turn to me seriously and say, “Don’t be cruel,” and after a while, she’d have to say it less and less because I got more thoughtful, more gentle, better at pulling back my temper, because it really meant something to me that I didn’t make her disappointed or upset. She made me want to be more like her. She wasn’t popular or “cool” or anything, but she was creative and funny and genuinely cared about people. She was amazingly good at diffusing situations. She brought out so much good in me, and I turned around and gave as much of it as I could back to her: I was basically devoted to her--extremely loyal and supportive of all her quirks and endeavours and protective of her, although frankly I did not need to be.  

By the end of primary school, her influence on me changed me radically: I’d gone from friendless to being decently charismatic and good at making friends, especially good at collecting the “unwanted” people and making them feel wanted and welcome with us; on the path of changing from being aloof to someone who loved company, who loved my people, who wanted to be in the centre of all the social circles and networks, knowing everything and being considered as everyone’s best friend. I look back now, and so much of my social development--so much of what I consider these days to be the better bits of my personality--came from her. And she was unquestionably a Hufflepuff person! I hate that some people would characterise her as “boring” or a two-dimensional “supportive friend,” because her and people like her deserve so much better than that. Being someone so kind, patient, encouraging, accepting, and morally centred, especially at a young age, is difficult. Seeing weird, lonely queer boys (which is what her little group ended up being after a year or so, starting with me) and stepping up to essentially take them under your wing, and care about them despite the fact they’re sometimes just jerks, and work with them to make them less jerkish, is a hell of a project to take on in your tween years and she did it without hesitating. I think about that a lot, in wonder and awe.

The other friend is someone I still think of often, someone who I think I will always miss, because I haven’t had a connection with anyone quite like how I did with her. I noticed her when I started high school, because we were in the same year and caught the same bus home each day, but I was a bit too self-conscious to try to talk to her, because she was cool (and I was not). Super charismatic, talented, funny, and sort of magnetically likeable. I’d never met someone quite so compellingly loveable before her, or since. The entire year group was smitten with her, to be honest: everyone wanted just a moment to talk to her, to sit next to her in class, to be her friend. She was basically a celebrity. (In our final year, she won as school captain by a landslide. It was never a competition). 

Then--I actually got to know her, at the start of our senior years, when I was really starting to become the me I’m proud of. We sat together in a few classes. We started sitting together on the bus every afternoon. We talked for hours every week that way. We didn’t hang in the same circles during school time, but there was always that hour in the afternoon trip home where it was just us in this little bubble apart from everything and everyone else. Conversations with her were uniquely good and fast and felt like dancing, or flying, or dueling--whenever I hear that line, “so, so, so this is what it feels like to match wits with someone at your level, what the hell is the catch? it’s the feeling of freedom, of seeing the light...” I think of her. I think of the impromptu nonsense world-building we would do, tossing an absurd idea to each other with little warning and adding to it, making up this impossible, always-growing place that all our friends knew about and loved but no-one else could really be a part of. (We called it the Kingdom). I think of how lonely it can be sometimes, now that I’ve known what that feels like. 

I admired her so much. She always felt ahead of me: smarter, more talented, better at sport, more charming, far more interesting, more confident, braver (so much braver), so certain and stable and good. But I wanted so badly to catch up, or at least keep close behind, that her being exceptional inspired me to do honestly my best at everything I could: academic, personal, interpersonal, all of it. It was like chasing a star. For our whole final year, we were neck-and-neck for every assignment--she would get an extra mark here, I would get an extra mark there--and I’d never enjoyed learning and “competing” like that before. Not only was she a guiding light for me on that front, someone I wanted to impress and delight, but she also made me rethink my own value, made me reconsider how I saw myself as person.

We got really close. She told me things she wouldn’t tell her other friends. She trusted me with things she didn’t want to say to anyone else. I can remember her once telling me that spending time with me was like sighing, like letting out a breath you’ve been holding onto for so long. She said she didn’t feel she had to put on a face for me: she could be imperfect, scared, tired, stressed, and she felt safe knowing I wouldn’t judge her or think less of her for it. The pressure of being so loved weighed on her, and by that point, I was starting to feel it a little too. We could commiserate over a feeling no-one else really understood. 

(I can remember when she found out--through some quiz or another--she was Hufflepuff, and then, after thinking about it, accepted it as a truth. She’d been disappointed. She had been hoping for something with a little more pizzazz, something that felt more centre-stage material--she was an actor, and the best our school had. But I told her how I felt about Hufflepuff, how important I felt it was as a house and an ethos, and how I thought she belonged there, and from then on, she was proud of it. She was proud the way I am of being Slytherin). 

So I guess what I’m saying is: 

If you’re envisioning Hufflepuffs as weak, or losers, or cowards, or sheep, you’re wrong. If you imagine them as boring or less capable or less active than other houses, you’re wrong. 

If the Hufflepuffs in your mind aren’t bright, hopeful, brave, and loving people, you’re not thinking about them properly yet. If they need protecting from the meanness of the world--as compared to the meanness of the world being afraid of them--you don’t understand what they are about. If you haven’t yet realised that people who care about justice, kindness, hard work, and doing what needs to be done will always be among the first to take up the burden of leadership and take responsibility for making change, it’s about time you did. 

Truthfully, now more than ever, I think these sorts of people need to be in our stories, and presented with respect and admiration. Caring about things is cool. More than that, it’s necessary. It’s vital. Being a compassionate, sensible person isn’t boring. Hufflepuff in fanon deserves much more than it’s given. 

When it comes to friendship between Hufflepuff and Slytherin:

Based purely on my own experience and theorising, Hufflepuff is most likely to offer the olive branch. Slytherin is most likely to respond to kindness, to a commendable work ethic, to the prospect of loyalty and dedication to a cause (i.e., their cause, whatever it might be). Hufflepuff can provide, or guide, a vision: a Slytherin can have faith in it, commit to it, do anything for it and the people they love. When working together, a Slytherin can learn a lot from a Hufflepuff about how to grow and improve and channel their energy and passion into something worthwhile and good for the world. In return, a Slytherin can offer a Hufflepuff a friend who will tirelessly strive to be better, to make them proud, to make the vision a reality, to be what they need them to be, to love them and admire them and trust in them--a friendship that, once earned, is unshakable and full of aspirations. 

But the fact is this:

Slytherins need Hufflepuffs way more than Hufflepuffs will ever need Slytherins.

Additionally neat posts:

x, x, x.

[disturbingbookclub]

Pier Paolo Pasolini (5 March 1922 – 2 November 1975)

On Pasolini’s death By Rossana Rossanda

Il Manifesto, 4 November 1975

   “The whole Italian press of both left and right speaks in pained tones as it weeps for Pier Paolo Pasolini, the most troublesome Italian intellectual of the last few years. Or rather, one who became too troublesome.

   What he had been writing recently did not much please anyone. Not us on the left: after all, he railed against 1968, feminists, abortion and disobedience. Nor the right: for these forays of his were accompanied by a disconcerting reasoning, which the right found suspect, unusable.

   Above all, his recent writing did not suit the intellectuals: for here they did the opposite of what they generally do, cautiously distilling words and positions as serene beneficiaries of the separation between ‘life’ and ‘literature’ – even those whom 1968 had given a bad conscience. Only one among them, Sanguinetti, in his piece yesterday, had the courage to say ‘finally we’ve shaken him off, this confusionist remnant of the 1950s’. That is, the apocalyptic, tragic years of division – which, for the leftist intellectual, were ultimately left behind. This near total unanimity is, of course, a second vehicle riding roughshod over Pasolini’s body. As with the first one, whoever has a clear conscience about it can say ‘he was asking for it’. For anyone who is not so sure, it is, instead, the last sign of this contradictory creature’s contradictory nature: and it is a real contradiction, not one that can be put back together again through some artificial dialectic. For if one thing is certain, it is that everyone suddenly recognising themselves in Pasolini’s thinking now that he has died – and died in this way – is truly our unloved world’s last piece of mockery against him. Because it is not the traditional homage to a deceased great man, nor the habitual absolution of a dead man hated when he was alive.

   Everyone is now writing on the same register (in a box written in pained tones, L’Unità even sketched out a self-critique, while the Partito Radicale signed him up post mortem…) because they all today think that they can draw some advantage for themselves from Pasolini’s thinking. Did he not say that young people today are like the foam of a wave that has swept away the old values? That any collectivity must assume some order, a system of coexistence, a model? Everyone is in agreement on this, except that everyone attributes this order and this critique the characteristics that best suit their own purposes. Pasolini, having been the most outsiderish intellectual of Italian cultural life, through his indecorous death provided iron proof that this is no way of going about things. A proof so convenient that everything else can be pardoned.

   I think that Pasolini would have spat on this fervour and all that goes with it – if it is legitimate to imagine such a straightforwardly kind man doing such a thing. Who, if he had pulled through, would today be taking the side of the seventeen year old who beat him to death. He would be cursing his name – but taking his side. And so he would continue until his inevitable, perhaps foreseen and feared, death came the next time around. But he would be on his side, because it was in the world of youth, among these creatures with whom he was most truly alive (‘I really know these young people, they are part of me, of my direct, private life’) that he obstinately sought the light. In them; and not in the world of order – which does not only mean police stations.

   He came back to this point time and again, because in his view of the world there was no other way. His attack on ‘development’, on the values of consumerism, of profit, and of the sameness that they induced in a preindustrial society in which personal, non-alienated, not passively accepted relations could still prevail was – as in general in this line of thinking, with its illustrious exponents both Catholic and secular  – as one-dimensional as the society that he criticised. He lived this society as the end of history, as oncoming barbarism, faced with which you can only try to retreat. Retreat, in as much as a refusal of this kind of ‘development’ – and who could, except the periphery, or a Third World not yet at this level? – would not have offered any anchor of salvation. Elsewhere, he did not see salvation: and for this reason Pasolini stubbornly kept going back to the borgate [Rome’s slum areas], and the more they escaped from him the more agonised returns there he made. All the more so because in all senses they must have appeared to him as a frustration, a contradiction.

   Is it that he sought an authentic relation but instead established a commercialised one? That he sought an open relation but instead himself repeated the relation between oppressor and oppressed – the rich intellectual arriving in his Alfa Romeo and paying the young guy who is so much more fragile than him, socially and personally? Neither could the humiliation that he must have received in exchange (how many trials, with less tragic ends than his death, he must have gone through: mockery by one-time comrades; rejection; the resistance of he who feels used and thus rebels…) absolve him from the fact that he himself was part of this alienating mechanism. In which his interlocutor ever more escaped him, becoming ever more his ‘object’. Different from how it once was, when the young guy went along with him but maintained his own character, an un-integrated dimension that could not be subdued, like Tommaso in Una vita violenta. Now that was true no longer: the guy who killed him had little in common with the borgata resident of once upon a time. He ought to be released tomorrow, in the sense of the values that rule this society (beyond an elementary humanity) because there is no doubt over his neighbours’ testimony, that is, that he had no great desire to work – who has? – but was ready and close to entering back into the family order, which he had violated only temporarily, if venally.

   Nothing in this story is truly what it seems. Not the depraved rich man who sought hidden love among the marginalised – no one lived his homosexual inclinations more simply than Pasolini, and he could satisfy them without risks of this type in a now more permissive society. Nor the depraved youth, who is nothing of the kind: neither depravity nor delinquency, nor even voluntary deviancy, set him in rebellion against the norm.

   An accidental death in chasing a phantom, we might say. Satisfying for most, bitter for those who held Pasolini in esteem and respect. And the funeral now, with his glorious absolution by those who first built up and then exorcised this spectre. When Pasolini is today so praised, when – probably in good faith – so many people recognise themselves in his discourse, it is because for him ‘the other half’ that he saw as essential, and in which he placed his hopes, was baseless.

   How many discussions we had, the few times I met him, and always the same: the ones he repeated just the same with Moravia. It is true that capital has dehumanised us. It is true. It is true that conformity to its model is monstrous. It is true that this is so powerful as a force that it is reflected even in those who reject it: in 1968, when he wrote his famous verses on the clashes at Valle Giulia, Pasolini saw in the student the product of a class who can ‘try their hand’ at revolution, while the policeman, the son of a southern farm labourer, is not at liberty to do so; and here he captured part of the truth. It is true that today, unlike yesterday, we can speak of abortion, not only because the feminist movement has ripened but also because male society is thinking about ‘economising’.

   It is true that compulsory schooling and TV are organs of the prevalent consensus. It is true that the fascist is not so different from the democrat, in his cultural models, as in 1922. All true, and all partial: because each time Pasolini touched on these uncomfortable truths, he made a leap from the ambiguity of the present back to the unambiguous humanity of ‘before’, rather than identifying in the student, in feminism, in education, in conformity itself, the beginning of a way forward, though certainly only a hypothetical one. Pasolini grew ever further from the idea that we have to carry through this journey right to the end, and there to pick up again on the thread of a world given back to humanity. He could have been a sceptic, but became a ‘reactionary’ in the classic sense of the world.

   And this is today being exploited – and this is the second car running over his body. After all, nothing of the cutting, violent value of his ‘reaction’ remains in the first, second and third pages in the book of elegies dedicated to Pasolini. He will have a bourgeois funeral, and in time the Rome city council will name a street after him. They will kill him far better, his real enemies, than the boy the other night did.  Before dying, Pasolini must have seen in this boy only the dead end into which he had been chased, only his error. And to think that he sought the angel of the passion according to St. Matthew.”

[thatkatiecooney]

The 10 Elements of a MAIN CHARACTER

To all the writers who have ever been told "Your characters have to be three dimensional!" or "They should be well-rounded!" and just felt like saying: “What does that even MEAN?! What goes into a 3-dimensional character? Specifically? And how do you go about creating one?!”

Good news. There's a way. 

Great main characters -- heroes, protagonists, deuteragonist, whatever you want to call them -- have ten things in common. Ten things that are easily developed, once you know what to create within your character. So no one will ever be able to tell you “needs to be more three dimensional!” ever again. Ha. 

1) Weaknesses: Main characters should be flawed, but I'm not saying this because it will make them more realistic (though it will) -- I'm saying they need to be flawed because if they're not, they shouldn't be a main character. Story is another word for change, or more accurately, character growth. Not character as in "fictional person", character meaning "heart and soul". Story is someone's character changing, for better or worse. Main characters at the beginning of the story are lacking something vital, some knowledge of themselves, some knowledge of how to live a better life, and this void is ruining their lives. They must overcome these weaknesses, if they're going to become complete, and reach a happy ending. There are two types of weaknesses: Psychological and Moral. Psychological ones only hurt the main character. Moral ones cause the main character to hurt other people. Easy.  

2) Goal: Characters exist because they want something. Desiring something, and the fight against opposition for that desire, is the lifeblood of story; and because character is story, it's also desire that can breathe life into words on a page, and begin the process of creating a real person in a reader's mind. It's this 'desire for something' that sparks that first connection between reader and character. It makes us think "Well, now I have to find out if this person gets what they want." This is a powerful link. (How many mediocre movies do we suffer through, when we could easily stop watching, because we're still trapped by that question of "what happens?") So if this is powerful enough to keep people watching an annoying movie, imagine how powerful it can be in an excellent story. 

Like in Up, the goal is to get the house to Paradise Falls.

3) Want: If the main character wants something, they want it for a darn good reason. Usually, they think that attaining the goal will fill the void they can sense in their lives, the deficiency they can feel, but don't know how to fix. And they're almost always wrong. Getting the goal doesn't help anything; which is why, while pursuing that goal, they discover a deeper need that will heal them. Which brings us to . . .

4) Need/Elixir: Main characters are missing something, a weakness in their innermost selves is causing them to live a less-than-wonderful life. Through story, these main characters can be healed. Once they discover what's missing, and accept it, and change the way they live to include this truth they've uncovered . . . they're healed. Learning this truth, whatever it is, forms the purpose of the story for the main character. The reader, and the character, think the story is about achieving that big tangible goal the premise talks about; really, underneath it all, the story is about someone achieving a big intangible truth, that will ultimately save their life and future. Often, this need is exactly what the character fears or professes to hate. 

Like Finding Nemo, where Dory states exactly what Marlin needs to learn. 

5) Ghosts: 

Not this kind of ghosts.

Ghosts are events in your character's past which mark the source of their weaknesses and strengths. Because these happened, the character became who they are. All we need to know about backstory are these moments, because who the character became is all we care about. There's really only one ghost you absolutely need: the source of their moral and psychological weakness. Something happened that knocked the character's world off kilter, and everything from that moment onward has been tainted by what happened. This moment haunts them (hence the name), and holds them back from uncovering that need that will heal their weaknesses. Pixar are masters of this: the source of Carl being stuck in the past, curmudgeonly, unable of loving anyone new? Ellie dying; his ghost. In Finding Nemo, the source of Marlin being suffocating, protective to the point of being harmful, possessive, and fearful? His wife and 99% of his children being eaten in front of him; his ghost. 

6) True Character: These are the strengths, values, convictions, fears, faults, beliefs, worldview, and outlook on life that make the main character who they truly are. 

7) Characterization: This is everything on the surface of a main character. The way they look, talk, act, etc. All of this originates from those deeper elements of their being, the strengths, values, ghosts, weaknesses, needs, that make them who they truly are. So often, you can think of this as a facade they're projecting, a way to shield the the truth about themselves, how they wish to be perceived. The story, and the other characters, are slowly going to see deeper than this characterization, revealing more and more of the reasons it is the way it is. 

8) Arc: If the character is going to change from "Incomplete Person" to "Complete Person" there's going to be a journey they go on to make that possible. The external story, the pursuit of that big tangible goal the premise is about, is causing an inner journey to take place. What they have to do in pursuit of that external goal will apply pressure to those weaknesses, and pressure causes change. This process has seven steps, but if I write it all here this post is going to be obscenely long. So I might wait and give this its own post.

9) Changed Person: Who is the character going to be at the end of this story? They better be different, or else the story didn't work. How do they show how different they've become? What is the moral choice they make, that spins their trajectory from "the future doesn't look so great" to "happily ever after"? This should be known right away, maybe even before anything else is settled about the character. This gives a distinct end goal, a way to work backwards, a destination in mind that you can navigate towards.  

10) Fascination and Illumination: The surface characterization, and the brief glimpses of the true character underneath create curiosity in the reader/audience. What the character says, and the implied subtext beneath the dialogue, creates a puzzle the audience wants to solve. Actions they take work the same way; if the writer indicates there's deeper motivation behind why a character behaves in the way they do, we buy into solving that mystery right away. We can't help it. "Who are you really? Why are you the way you are? And how is that going to effect the story?" These are all the unspoken, almost not consciously acknowledged, questions that fascinating characters provoke. Searching out meaning, connecting the dots to find the truth -- we can't resist this. We're not fascinated by tons of backstory and exposition about a character; we're fascinated by story, by mystery, by the technique of withholding information and having to interpret and hunt out the truth on our own.  So gradually, the story and the characters will force that character to reveal a little more, and a little more, until we have a complete picture of who this person is. Crucial that this information isn't told up front. Gradually illuminate it. It's just like getting to know a real person. 

So how does this work in a real character? Let's take a look at Flynn Rider/Eugene Fitzherbert, because almost everybody has seen that movie. 

Moral Weaknesses: He's selfish. He's a little greedy. He's a little rude. He uses his charisma and bravado to keep people at a distance from the real him. 

Psychological Weaknesses: Insecurity, fear of vulnerability, feels like the real him (Eugene) would be unwanted, unlovable, and have nothing -- just like when he was an orphaned kid. Also, he doesn't know who he wants to be, what he wants to live for. 

Goal: Flynn wants to get that crown. So he has to get Blondie to see the floating lights, so she'll give it back to him, and then they can part ways as unlikely friends.  

Want: Why does he want the crown? What does it mean for him? He actually states it (reluctantly) in song: "I have dreams like you, no really. Just much less touchy feely. They mainly happen somewhere warm and sunny. On an island that I own, tanned and rested and alone. Surrounded by enormous piles of money." He senses there's something off in his life, something is missing. But he mistakenly believes this missing piece is money, which will allow him to buy a lonely island, where he can live out his days as Flynn and no one will ever know Eugene. 

Need: "All those days chasing down a daydream. All those years living in a blur. All that time never truly seeing, things the way they were. Now she's here, shining in the starlight. Now she's here, suddenly I know. If she's here, it's crystal clear, I'm where I'm meant to go." He wants a crown . . . he needs to fall in love with Rapunzel. He needs to love something more than himself, and find out that love isn't something to fear and push away. He needs to abandon the 'Tales of Flynnagin Rider' ambition, and get a more worthwhile, new dream. 

Ghost: The source of all of his weaknesses can be linked to his "little bit of a downer" childhood as an orphan. Interestingly, he isn't aware of another facet of that ghost, and Rapunzel points it out to him. "Was he a thief too?" she asks. He looks taken aback, before answering "Uh, no." Something's gone wrong. The choices he's making are not living up to that original role model.  

Characterization: Flynn's charming, funny, smart, charismatic, and arrogant (in a somehow charming sort of way). He's also rude, contemptuous, and sarcastic. All traits that help him keep up that 'swashbuckling rogue' facade, and push people away from the real him. 

True Character: Underneath all that, he's a Disney prince. That pretty much sums it up.  

Changed Person: "Started going by Eugene again, stopped thieving, and basically turned it all around." He started the story as the guarded and evasive Flynn, he ends as the selfless and thoroughly-in-love Eugene. 

Fascination and Illumination: Imagine if everything about Flynn had been told, right up front. We know he's an orphan, we know he's upheld a fake reputation, we know he's a kind and loving guy underneath it all, we even know about his "tales of Flynnagin" childhood dream. You know what happens? We like him . . . but we're not interested in him. There's nothing we need to find out. There's no curiosity. And if there's no curiosity, and nothing being illuminated, your story's not going anywhere. So instead, we find out -- alongside Rapunzel -- more about Flynn as the story progresses. And that is how it should be. 

So!

Developing characters in this way, I've found, really reduces worries about how "well-rounded" and three dimensional I've made them. They feel real to me. And besides helping me create characters, this ten element technique has also let me analyze characters I like, which is strangely fun. It's a great way to figure out why a character works, what causes them to be so effective, and how you can go about creating them yourself. 

Yeah, I'm a bit of a nerd. 

But if you want, try it out. Develop a character. Analyze a character. You might find it as useful/fun as I do.

[dadvans]

:O what's your beef with trans!fic? I am curious

me: i can sound like an asshole when i talk about this, so maybe i should–me to me: MAKE THE POST, ASSHOLE

keep in mind, this is all my opinion! you are welcome to disagree!  please don’t take this personally, i’m not calling anyone out, i just want to discuss some broad things i’ve seen in fic, and why it makes me hesitant to read, or very critical of, trans narratives.  so, trans!fic! my problems with trans!fic typically boil down to a number of things:

a majority of trans!fic is written in the same style as an origin story. this inherently suggests that this is the major, defining narrative of someone’s life, as everything is typically written with every life event influenced or framed by transition.  i think this really reduces a character to a single dimension, and suggesting that a trans person’s life is exclusively about their transition is kind of degrading.  

transition is often seen as this dramatic thing.  “i’m misunderstood, because i’m trans.” “no one will love me, because i’m trans.”  and i hate seeing this narrative and mindset in stories, but also self-perpetuated within the trans community.  transition can be a positive thing, and it should be celebrated.  

 i was linked to this lovely article that goes in depth about a lot of things, including how the transmasculine community itself can and does bolster the harmful idea that “the way things are” suggest that trans people are lucky to find anyone at all.  a majority of the trans people i know IRL are in very happy, loving relationships, a majority of them with cis people whose sexual identity assumes their partner is also cis.  

i think about how movies like “Boys Don’t Cry,” which are based off of true stories, are celebrated, and suddenly the public consciousness thinks, “this is a narrative that must be celebrated.”  i think this is a good example of how we have to be more critical of our media intake and challenge ourselves to find new, more unique, yet still real and true narratives to pursue and celebrate.  this isn’t an idea that we should let fester, because we’ve already begun to internalize it.  “i’m unloveable because i’m trans.” fuck that.  i might be unloveable because i’m an asshole, or because i fart too much in front of my girlfriend, or because i’m a messy drunk, but it has nothing to do with my gender identity.  

a lot of stories featuring trans!narratives, written by both cis and trans writers, are really poorly researched.  i feel like people rely too much on basic knowledge of the transition process, and think (for example, a transmale): okay, you cut your hair, you get on hormones, Things Change, you get surgery, ????, profit.  and that seems to be the outline of literally EVERY FIC.  but not only that, the characters all seem to be making the same decisions, having the same reactions, and experiencing the same changes as they do in every other fic.  every trans body and the way they experience transition, dysphoria, whatever! is different.  when i see a character going through transition, i want to see them making decisions on hormones, surgeries, etc. based on their character, their profession, their life, and i want those things to be EXTREMELY well researched, if you HAVE to get into it (and you don’t– you can literally write about a trans character without writing about ANY of those experiences, and yet.)  again, it feels like people rely too much on the bare elements of the transition experience and their stories in turn go through character erasure, and then the aspects of the transition become less remarkable, less believable, less emotionally poignant, less weighted.  

and aGAIN, you don’t have to write about any aspect of transitioning to write about trans characters!  for many people, the way that they interact with their gender identity, especially if they’ve already made steps towards transitioning, doesn’t feature predominately in their life.  

on the flipside of that, dysphoria changes shape.  transitioning isn’t a linear thing.  

an anon sent me this amazing post, which concisely describes a lot of my gripes as: 2-dimensional “xe transed nonbinarily down the stairs” issuefic, which LMAO ACCURATE

where are the stories where people trans people are doing things without reflecting on their Gender Angst or Body Awareness or transition, like??? there are so many potential stories out there. endless.  for the same reason i write m/m fanfiction out of lack of mainstream stories featuring gay characters and gay relationships except when it’s ABOUT being gay or coming out, do i want to see just like, a trans!office!AU.  fuck it, why not?

i don’t even want to get into how trans bodies are fetishized and romanticized in a way that really, really creeps me out, and makes me angry (typically just characterizing men as hypermasc women, for example).  there are a lot of assumptions made about trans bodies, especially when writing smut, and then i just have to back out of that fic, and set my computer on fire, and my whole apartment on fire, and move to another state and start a new identity.

in closing, i will always be hesitant to read trans!fic, and above are some of the more common reasons why.  i just like to ask that people question why they want to write a trans narrative, and what they are hoping to achieve through that.  at the same time, i understand there are a lot of young authors out there exploring their gender identity and getting it out through fic, which i respect! but what i’m seeing is just that very narrow experience, like it’s been sliced away from the rest of a person and laid on a slide.  it’s just a sliver of a human identity and experience that maybe adds another interesting layer, but not always, and only so much of life can be informed by that single experience.  be diverse.  celebrate happy narratives. get creative. 

[sadboyfactory]

how come you ship sheith if you're anti billdip

HOOOOO BOY. Congrats, Anon, I took a whole minute of silence for this one. I’m gonna put this one under a cut. Below is a character analysis on why Sheith strikes a cord with me and a little bit on why I don’t ship billdip.

The two ships have no point of comparison. I don’t even know… how you jumped straight to billdip after questioning why I like Sheith, but I have to assume you’re speaking in reference of the age gap. 

Let me put it this way, the incomprehensible age gap between a 12 year old and a trans-dimensional mind demon that’s been around since the beginning of time is the last reason why I abhor that ship. Let me just clear this up right away and say that- in terms of age difference ALONE- The Voltron creators left their ages incredibly ambiguous and haven’t confirmed any actual age for ANY of their characters, as far as I know. Keith is stated to be “Late teens” and Shiro straight up isn’t even given a point of reference. It’s entirely possibly that they fall in line with my headcanons of Keith being 19.5 and Shiro being 24. In terms of age difference and power dynamics, let me tell you that It’s still a little…. ehhhh. Being 21 years old, I know that the difference between a 19 year old and a 21 year old can be pretty noticeable. When I was 19 with a 21 year old girlfriend there was a slight power dynamic and I sorta felt it. It wasn’t that strong, but I was still infantalized every so often and therefor not always taken seriously. When you also throw in that Shiro is Keiths superior officer as the Leader of Voltron, things start getting really unsteady in terms of the potential for a healthy relationship. When you also throw in that Shiro carries a lot of baggage from his time enslaved by the Galra, the possibility of a healthy relationship with someone four years younger than him goes down a lot. Okay now lemme take this to a new comparison for perspective.I think a more appropriate comparison would be my dislike of Tonks/Remus from the Harry Potter series. If Tonks and Keith are both willing, enthusiastic consenting adults in love with an older person who has been through an immense amount of stress and suffers from PTSD, then why do I think one is okay and not the other?EASY!!! Trust. Trust and Control. I think that Tonks love for Remus was pure and I really liked it. She saw that there was far more to love within Remus than there was to fear and she trusted him with all of her heart, and she was good for it! She’s not the one under question here, Remus is. Remus was never able to trust her ability to cope with his intense baggage. He rejected her love because it made him uncomfortable, then he second guessed their marriage. He flat out regretted having a child with her and he even ran away because he couldn’t cope. I’m sure that he loved his moments with her, I’m sure that when she was in the room then she was all he could think about, but if in the moments that he had alone to himself- if ALL he could think about was how much he was screwing up her life just so he could be happy, then is that a really healthy relationship? Sure he may have loved her, but he couldn’t trust that love.Why not? Well, I have a theory. Remus spent most of his life as an outcast living in a society that hated him on principle. He grew up with anti-werewolf propaganda screaming that he was a monster. Even if people didn’t know he was a werewolf, their anti-werewolf attitude still reinforced an image that He Was Wrong. He was an unloveable beast. The only time he felt truly comfortable was with his close knit group of friends in school and that’s because they not only accepted he was a werewolf right off the bat, but then went above and beyond to change THEIR LIVES just to make his better. Remus then had to watch the world descend into a horrific war that further demonized his kind, but on a more personal note it killed everyone he knew and loved, save for one who was imprisoned for becoming a murderer himself. He dealt with this alone for 12 years. Tonks grew up in a world after this war. She was safe and loved, smart and promising, with a golden ideal for the world. Her only major outstanding difference- being a metamorphmagus- was seen as a blessing or a fun quirk. Her crystal view of the world may be no less valid than his jaded view, shes not WRONG to believe in the best, but for him all he can think of is what straw is going to break the camels back and ruin her. Lets compare this to Sheith. Shiro and Keith have both been through the runner. We don’t know much about Shiro’s past, but what we do know can lead us to assume that he was prominent, trusted figure within the Galaxy Garrison and likely rose to his reputation as a legendary pilot quickly within his career there. As far as we know, his strife begins with the Galra abducting him. It’s hardly necessary to remind us that his time fighting as a gladiator for Zarkon was so traumatic it left him with heavily suppressed memories. Basically, it was a FUCKTON of traumatic stress in not a lot of time and to cope his memories went caput. His experience with the Galra has had a lasting negative effect on him, but largely he’s been able to work through a lot.Keith has been through a lot of stress too, and over mostly a long amount of time. We know he grew up mostly alone. We don’t know when his father left or died, but by the time he’s left the Garrison he’s an orphan. He has issues with authority, suggesting that even when his father WAS there he was still an unreliable person (though Keiths vision of his father depicts him as meaning a lot to Keith, so I doubt he was intentionally abusive) Keith is still undergoing a lot of stress, finding out that he is in part Galra and having the pressure put on him as heir to lead Voltron, among other things. Throughout both seasons we see that Keith is most comfortable relying on Shiro for stability. Keith undoubtedly trusts and loves Shiro in 100% canon (romantic love is debatable, its a ship its not canon). Now what’s interesting is that in season 2 we see the tables turn and Shiro right off the bat is put into a position in which he must rely on Keith or die. Shiro has no problem putting his life in Keiths hands and never once doubts him. From then on we can see him beginning to lean on Keith as a second in command, minimizing the power dynamics between them. I’ll be the first one to admit that I don’t have a lot of solid evidence to go on in terms of balancing out the age gap and the power dynamics, but that being said I’ve only ever watched Voltron (season 1 and 2) once, whereas I’ve seen Gravity Falls in its entirety no less than six times at LEAST and I’ve been reading and rereading Harry Potter for my entire life. I’ll probably need to do some hardcore character studying to really pin down why I like it so that I can explain myself eloquently. But please know, I’m kind of doing that right now. My fic Put it Together, Break it Apart is both a follow-up to Season 2 and an exploration of Keith/Shiro and where it does and doesn’t work. I will say this, I legitimately think that if Keith ever DID pursue a romantic relationship with him then Shiro would be cautious to say the least. Any relationship between them would HAVE to be built on mutual trust and the absolute certainty that this was something that BOTH of them wanted, and both Keith and Shiro would be setting some pretty hardcore boundaries. 

TL:DRBilldip isn’t a good comparison for the relationship dynamics, so I brought up Tonks/Remus. Tonks/Remus have similar starting points as Shiro and Keith in their relationship, the difference being that Remus does not trust himself nor Tonk’s ability to cope with his baggage, and therefor tries to control the relationship in a negative way by deciding to run away from her. Shiro and Keith both trust each other equally and Shiro has spent the last season lessening his control over Keith by slowly abolishing the power dynamics between them.

Now I’m gonna go into why billdip is a horrible ship.

Bill abused Dippers trust and gained absolute control over him. Dipper said “no” and Dipper said “Stop” and Bill didn’t care. Dippers literal actual body was used by Bill for Bills own purposes against Dippers will. It was so traumatic for Dipper that he showed symptoms of PTSD. Do you understand what I’m getting at here? 

Let me say it clearly, then, for the people in the back. Bill’s actions may not have been sexual in nature, but they are allegorical to that of rape. Dipper was a victim of extreme violence and manipulation at the hand of Bill. And that doesn’t even begin to cover Bills actual literal reign of terror over his family, his friends, his town, and his concept of reality. I can’t even begin to explain why the ship is unhealthy, are you sure we watched the same show?