#how is it so hard to remember to do stuff?!?

[cravingpepsimax]

since he’s beginning to spread, here’s a rough timeline of events for the fujo bill au:

bill is defeated and is put in the theraprism

after who knows how long, bill begins coping with his spite and rage towards stan and ford by doing/making stuff that he thinks they’d hate.

he begins “shipping” stancest. bill doesn’t really GET the incest taboo, it seems pretty much entirely arbitrary to him, but he knows it exists and is something humans are REPULSED by. thus, he starts making stuff involving stan and ford dating each other. theraprism staff thinks it’s odd but him writing books about stan and ford kissing is significantly better than him writing books in an attempt to escape.

over time, bill starts getting actually invested. it may have started as pure spite, but he begins to remember things that, oh boy, sure do seem pretty incestuous, now that he thinks about it. at first, it’s funny — “HAHA, WOW, SIXER REALLY IS A FREAK, ISN’T HE?” — but then it becomes real.

since bill’s calming down and is no longer talking about wanting to murder the entire family 24/7, theraprism staff decides to move onto the next step in bill’s karma program: becoming pen pals with one of the people he used to terrorize. mabel’s a lot like bill, but not evil, so the theraprism staff choose her.

meanwhile, a 13 year old mabel gets a Crazy Paranormal Experience, in which she is told what’s going on. mabel agrees to be bill’s pen pal (he won’t be able to do any actual harm, and, worst-case scenario, it’d be funny to mess with him (note that, even though mabel’s 13, well over a year has passed for bill — time is merely a suggestion for beings as powerful as the theraprism staff)

bill HATES being made to do this stupid pen pal stuff. he can’t use it as a way out — the theraprism staff have been keeping a VERY CLOSE EYE ON HIM ever since the book, and it’s gonna be hard to trick mabel into doing ANYTHING for him. so, his first few letters are him insulting and trying to upset mabel, who doesn’t really seem to care at all.

eventually, in one of bill’s pieces of hate mail, he says some shit like “SIXER AND HIS BROTHER ARE REAL FREAKS, KID! WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY’RE DOING ON THE STAN O’ WAR II? I’LL GIVE YOU A HINT: THE ANSWER’S ‘EACH OTHER’!”

mabel promptly ignores the rest of the letter entirely, and makes a GIANT response excitedly going “oh my gosh, you noticed, too??”, and listing everything romantic she’s ever noticed about them.

bill responds, filling in some gaps here and there, telling her about some incestuous stuff from 30+ years ago, pointing out things she missed, pointing out things he missed (“WOW, THEY DID WHAT? TALK ABOUT NEEDING TO GET A ROOM, YEESH.”)

they become stancest gossip buddies from there. mabel fujopills him in other regards (bill never thought he’d watch a show called “ouran highschool host club”, much less at the request of a 13 year old who thinks the pair of twins kissing would be hot/cute, but hey, afterlife’s full of surprises, ain’t it?) but his main love is and always will be stancest

they eventually become close enough and the theraprism staff trusts them enough to get interdimensional phone call privileges. any time anything happens mabel calls him and goes “oh my gosh, you’ll NEVER guess what just happened!” and they gossip for like an hour

stan and ford are completely clueless as to what’s going on at all. i like to imagine they find out eventually but it takes awhile LMAO

[oversensitiveandoffputting]

Stolas self-sabotages just as much as Blitzø does. Blitzø’s is just much louder and angrier. He is a flash of intense emotion that pushes you away. Stolas’ self-sabotage, in keeping with his character, is much quieter. He purposely puts himself in very uncomfortable and triggering situations (the Anti-Divorce party, the Anti-Blitzø party…lots of anti parties going on in Hell) because he thinks he has to. He assumes others don’t want to be around him so he doesn’t even try to socialize or form deep connections. And I think it’s worth mentioning, for all his talk in Look My Way about wishing he could see past the defenses Blitz has put up to cope with a harsh life, Stolas’ walls are just as strong, possibly stronger, and he has absolutely no intention of weakening them any time soon. Ever, if he gets his way.

Like, Blitz will mask his pain with jokes, but he’ll still…say it. He’ll still say he has daddy issues. He’ll stay say a Prince could never love an imp and he lashed out in fear. He’ll immediately follow it up with something disingenuous, but the words will still leave his mouth.

But remember in Apology Tour? “I’ve never seen you throw them back this hard.”

Blitz is still on the arc of learning to humanize Stolas instead of putting him on a pedestal, but the pedestal thing is partially Stolas’ fault. We don’t know what Blitz knows about Stolas other than Stolas has a kid, had a wife, collects carnivorous plants, is a gay man, and has an imp butler. Maybe he knows some other things, but we don’t know what else, if anything. Considering Stolas’ MO when he’s overwhelmed is to peace out, and Blitzø has abandonment issues…

But Stolas never told him about Stella. Or Paimon. Or that Octavia is a “precautionary heir.” Or the arranged marriage. Or that the other Goetia think he’s a joke. Or that he’s a rape survivor. Or that he struggles with severe mental health issues. Or even that he’s still injured from Striker’s knife wound.

So, if Blitz hadn’t sabotaged everything first, Stolas definitely would have been the one to do it. Probably so subtly, in such small ways, Blitz wouldn’t have even noticed until he came home from work and Stolas wasn’t there, his stuff gone and there being no indication as to why or how to reach him, most likely because the image he was trying to craft of being normal and put together finally cracked. Better get out now before they realize you’re not who you tricked them into thinking you were, right? Blitzø just loves the mask. And the mask has to fall off at some point. The show has to end.

[aeturnum-mendacacium]

Do people like- realise that since after jason skinny dipped in the Lazarus pit, in many he lost his memories and/or was trying to actively remember them, so there is a high chance that he thought Bruce was his real bio dad since he was a more active dad to him anyways than Willis

meaning he thought that he was his blood son, a wayne, he grew up in wayne manor, and since he knew of Damian and Talia he most likely thought that Talia was his bio mom too for a while before he remembered how/why he died, meaning he considered damian his real brother

Bo cause do you realise the angst here???

Like imagine him suddenly remembering how they met, and he's confused, till it hits him,it hits him hard, and he just-

"..you're not dad? /.. Bruce isn't dad?"

cause even if you and your dad have issues you still want him to be your dad yk

UGHH THE ANGST

Especially if you consider your head cannon that after he reconnected with Bruce he still didn't remember a lot of stuff and was just taking others word on it and he came across rumours of him being Bruce's secret bio child with one of his numerous lovers, cause why else would he just adopt some random kid off the street? And it seems pretty legit, willis didn't like him much. Not being his bio kid made a lot of sense. God I would devour a fic where Bruce and jason. Are just checking what all he remembered, or just talking casually, or having one of their disagreements and it came up. I would kill my self for it

[necromancelena]

I think you've made me see the appeal of forcefem. someone else makes the choice so no one get mad at me for being femme? yayyayyay

Forcefem is honestly pretty fascinating as a concept because as a kink it is so closely tied to the humiliation aspect. it is a play with power dynamic and yet, for me, it resonates far more as an escapist fantasy for the exact reason you mentioned. Having the challenges and responsibilities of transitioning become someone else's project, having the guilt that society has instilled in you numbed because it's not really 'your fault' but you're this far now and you might as well accept it.

There's lots of other escapist fiction that i think tries to scratch at the same itch. I remember when i was early in my transition i got really into like. Scribblehub transgender fiction mostly because i liked how all of them would have some sort of deuteragonist that is perfectly accepting and knowledgeable and figures out the protagonist's gender before she does and there's always a scene where she helps pick out girl clothes and. You get the idea. It's pretty predictable stuff that I grew out of years ago but looking back even though usually nothing is being 'forced' I really do feel like it scratches the same itch that forcefem and tf stories do where, yes, some of the escapism is the whole 'main character is a girl at the end' bit but also. Transitioning is really lonely and isolating a lot of the time. And it's nice to imagine that there's someone there with you for all the hard parts putting in work to push you forward and tell you what to do. Even when it's in a "chaining you up in the forcefem dungeon" kind of way.

[dreadnought-despair]

hey y'all yeah this is the post you think it is

after two official tries and several unposted attempts over the course of almost 8 years, i think im calling dreadnought despair, er... mostly dead? BUT im bringing this blog back! ill be picking stuff to answer from the askbox (keep in mind i have a job and im getting old lol) as well as just drawing the kids bc i miss them

i also feel pretty bad about where i left off, so i'm considering finishing out chapter 1 (if i can remember how i had all the code set up 😬) but it would take A While. so heres a poll

more of an explanation under the cut. if you want to see what else I've been up to, check out my art blog @amelias-art and my twitch [AmeliasArt], where i've started streaming pretty regularly on tuesdays and thursdays around 7pm CST!

im sure this cancellation isn't a surprise to anyone but i just wanted to get this out there for my own peace of mind

it has nothing to do with the wonderful folks who supported me through the years and everything to do with my mental health, getting older, and frankly poor story planning. it's a classic case of a project that never had a strong outline and thus ballooned in scope as it went-- you'll see what i mean when i start trying to answer asks about what would've been the endgame LOL. and ill do my best to answer some stuff, but there are some unintroduced concepts and characters that i would like to save for other stories so i may be vague about parts of it

even if it was masterfully planned, though, it still would've been hard to really pick up again-- I started this fic in college when I was at my most suicidal, and the reboot happened in 2020 which, well anyway,, im in a better place now with a loving husband, a stable job, a healthier relationship with my queerness, and multiple mental health diagnoses and medications. im proud of what i did accomplish with dreadnought, and im grateful to it and the community for getting me through some miserable times, but it's still a reminder of those times in and of itself. maybe by officially shelving it i can move on

thank you so much for sticking around! it really means a lot to me

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

you are keeping us well fed with the disabled!reader poolverine storyline tysm <3

The older boys, once fed and walked settled in with their devices. Content to play games with Wade and annoy you. The younger, Logan noted, velcroed himself to your side. Wanting to be held, wanting to be snuggled. And you were more than happy to do it.

He didn't want to rough house. When the livingroom devolved into a baby cage match, he brought you a book. Clamoring into your lap. And the two men traded a look.

You gathered him up, kissing the side of his head and just started reading. No questions or protests. And even the Older boys, drawn in by their own memories of story time made their way over with pillows to sprawl on. Settling in with their phones.

They felt a pang. You wouldn't get your own babies to cuddle, but it was pretty clear that the kids that you did get to love knew you were safe in your house. Making themselves at home. All day, they hadn't hesitated to get a snack or tease you. They never flinched at what Wade looked like or Logan's brooding. They knew your world was different even if they didn't know how exactly.

When Ronnie, the youngest dozed off you held him for a little bit before wiggling out and letting him lay on the couch and throwing a blanket over him. "Looks like I should start figuring out dinner, huh?"

"Pizza?" Zach, the oldest put in.

"You got, pizza money, homie?" you ask, leaning on the back of his chair, "Because I got 'works for the state' money and that will not order pizza for you three heathens."

"Aww man-"

"I do have mac and cheese stuff and some smoked susage and green beans, though," you muse.

"But is there extra cheese?" Zach asked.

"Do I look like your mother?"

He grinned and you ruffled his hair, heading to the kitchen to go start cooking and he followed you. Logan listened with half an ear, he knew a kid looking for a pep talk when he saw one.

And when he leaned against your shoulder and you rested your head on his for a second, Logan smiled a little. evidently you did too. "What's wrong, bug?"

"Nothing-"

"Uh-huh."

Zach huffed and you just waited, filling a pot with water and bustling around. "I just- mom's got me signed up for so much shit- and like, why?"

"Mostly because your grandma did it to us," you muse. "And also because she doesn't want you to turn out like us- mostly me."

Zach gave you a look and you smile a little. "I spent an absurd amount of time trying to be someone I wasn't baby. I just... Don't care about cars and having a big ass house. I don't WANT the life they mapped out for me. And even if I DID, I'm not sure I could even do it."

He watched you work for a second and looked at his brothers before looking back at you. "I used to try. And I'm not saying you shouldn't. But. Give yourself some grace... And as hard as it can be, give your mom some grace. She loves you."

He snorted and you crinkle your nose. "She does. Even if she doesn't show it like we want her to- Remember. She ALSO had to survive our parents and live to tell about it."

Zach shook his head, "Grandma is unhinged, dude."

"And she mellowed out once Dad started slipping her Klonopin. So. Imagine what she was like BEFORE that."

"Ugh." Zach shuddered and you nudged him out of your way handing him a soda with a laugh.

[flownwrong]

chaotic ckr c6d squee propaganda (?) post

This, started half a year ago for @ds30below, was initially a general c6d short reviews post but kinda skewed majorly towards CKR's repertoire and wasn't too review-y. So I gave up on making sense and on including the non-CKR works. I don't know who the audience for this is, because I never give basic details for people who don't know about this stuff but say too much for those who do. I giffed what I could and tried to avoid what I know a lot about but haven't actually seen. Here goes.

Frank's Cock (1993)

Not much to say. It's only 8 minutes, it's beautiful and you should see it if you haven't. I won't spoil the subject, but you can likely guess. Watch it, cry a little. Then go watch some more of Mike Hoolboom's stuff, the vimeo link above is from his channel.

Two X-Files episodes (1994 – 1995)

Well, I haven't actually seen X-files since I was about fifteen and watched the like two seasons, and I remember none of it. I rewatched the two early episodes CKR appears in and they were fun. I did not watch the, the movie or whatever where he's doing the evil gay thing. But really, this one is on the list so I can show you this self-indulgent gif of him being Very Long:

Double Happiness (1994)

You shouldn't watch this one for CKR. I mean, you absolutely should see him here, looking like he's barely out of his teens and playing up the insecure act and having devastating chemistry with devastatingly beautiful Sandra Oh, but this is not why it's great. And it's really, really great. It's touching and funny and sincere. If you wanna have some feels about complicated family relationships and identity and growing up (at any point in life), you'll find them here.

Curtis's Charm (1995)

Don't regret watching it, can't recommend. Not gonna lie, I was emotionally affected. But I usually am by things as in-your-face bleak as this. Mostly, it's trying very hard to be smarter than it is, I think.

However: CKR's One Wild Curl is everything to me (see above, on the right. It was, like, actually curly. I was rendered speechless). And like two seconds of Hugh Dillon made me do a double-take, lol. Incredibly weird knowing this was shot like half a year before HCL began shooting. Feels like it must've been a decade earlier.

Hard Core Logo (1996)

I could make three separate posts about this one, so of course I have no idea what to say.

This one, you should watch for CKR, actually, he's something, but so is every single other aspect of this film. I wouldn't change a thing about it. It hits you like a 16 wheeler. Perfectly cast, unimaginably beautiful, hysterical and melancholy and disgusting and compelling.

Related recs:

A wonderfully fun article/retrospective/interview for its 20th anniversary a while back.

You should also absolutely read Hard Core Roadshow if you enjoyed the film. It's a book documenting the whole thing from conception to release. It touched me for its own sake, not just a backstage glance, full of love for the craft and the people and carrying this tangible bittersweetness about the heightened and fleeting nature of this kind of work.

(here, I feel compelled to include a quote from another c6d-related interview on Slings & Arrows, which I read after the book and went like man, it's really a universal experience isn't it.

Coyne: <...> But I also think, and this is my experience, what we were all experiencing, because we were all talking about our lives, our life in the arts — there’s something very melancholy about doing something you love, because it will never be good enough, it will always break your heart.

McKinney: Or it will be fleeting.

Coyne: It’ll be fleeting. You come together with people you feel passionately connected to and two weeks later they’re tearing down the sets.)

Quotes from the article and the book respectively include:

McDonald: So there was a kind of mutual dependency society with Hugh telling Callum, “Don’t worry, man, I got your back, I’ll tell you how high or low to wear your guitar, I’ll tell you how you should dress, I’ll tell you what you should drink…” and Callum was like, “I’ll tell you what hitting your mark is, I’ll tell you why they pull out fucking tape measures, I’ll tell you why you have to do it again, I’ll tell you about not overlapping dialogue..” and you know they clung to each other, like the other one was gonna fucking save them.

And:

A final gathering at the back of the tour bus with Bruce, Callum, Hugh, Bernie. We listen to the tape of HCL songs, all the way through, one last time. And we belt the words out. Bernie sings loudest, performing for Salerno's camera. Hugh and Callum sit back, looks of sadness. I get the sense that if they could do it, they'd chuck their lives and be Joe Dick and Billy Tallent forever. Callum leans to Bruce and says exactly what everyone else is thinking: "I don't want it to end."

There's much more to both texts than *gestures* the whatever those two had, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

And Xeriscape is the best HCL fic I've read. Granted, I read very few because it's not a source that creates in me a craving for fic. But this one perfectly matches the film's fucked up beauty with its language while also adding a quieter, more fraught layer of humanity that we only get glimpses of in canon and that perfectly fits John. 10/10, would recommend.

Anyway. Watch it. Read it. If you haven't. Otherwise, come scream with meeee! And go reblog my gifs or something. Idk.

Letters From Home (1996)

Mike Hoolboom strikes again, with another short. This goes into the "don't watch it for CKR, watch it because it's great" box. Yes, you will cry.

For Those Who Hunt The Wounded Down (1996)

Another bleak one! It sucked to watch, I mean, on purpose. There were a couple of very effective scenes. I really enjoyed the opening. They say the book is decent too, I haven't checked that out.

Actually, let's just switch back from coherent thought to undignified staring at his mouth with this one. What the fuck is that cigarette thing. I couldn't help myself.

Last Night (1998)

These gifs are not representative of the whole movie. There is more happening than CKR kissing or hugging people. He's also doing more than just kissing and hugging. It's all very... impressive.

Guess who's also here again? Sandra Oh! And say hi to Don McKellar, who is an absolute champion for writing/directing/starring. You'll be seeing more of him.

Another one for the "watch it for its own sake" box. Seriously, that late 90s indie stuff is banger after banger. It's so beautiful! Look at those colours! Look at those shots! It's very uneasy and charming and melanchioly and itself in the best way.

Twitch City (1998 – 2000)

Don McKellar is back to murder you with discomfort! Bruce McDonald lends a hand. Molly Parker is also here. And Daniel McIvor, who'd go on to direct, for example, Wilby Wonderful. It's a party. If you watched some stuff from above (or below) on this list, most faces and names will be familiar to you, tbh (another Hugh Dillon double-take happens).

If you liked Spaced, you'll love this. You might also love it because it commits to its weirdness with an admirable resolve and is genuinely hilarious. (Honestly, CKR's outfits alone warrant a watch.) The idiosyncrasy is definitely Don McKellar's doing 200%. It couldn't be more different from Last Night, but if you've seen one, you'll recognise the other.

Battlestar Galactica (2003 – 2009)

I don't think a person should be allowed to look this pretty in the sweaty-and-dying makeup in that light (this sentence probably looks very weird to those not under the CKR magic spell).

I don't know what to say about BSG because I really, really enjoyed early it initially, but by the middle of S2 it got... well, whatever that was. If you know you know, if you don't, still give it a go. You might get invested enough to suffer through it all, as I have been, slowly.

The unfortunate thing is that CKR got to be there mostly in the "what the fuck" years and not the "wow that's so cool" years. That, as you might be aware, is a pattern with him. But! When he was here, he was so genuinely, wonderfully creepy not in the typecast-baddy way, but in this slow, half-absent way, which really worked. You can also see him tortured a little, as a treat!! <3

Also, a wild John Pyper-Ferguson appears! If you're looking at him thinking you know him from somewhere but not immediately remembering, you'll figure it out, I believe in you. I was very happy to see him.

Wilby Wonderful (2004)

Another win for the put CKR in more good shit team!!! Guess who's here again? Sandra Oh! Also, Paul Gross. Don't watch it for him either though haha.

Another one for whoever wants to look at pushing against the weight of others' (or your own) expectations and growing into who you are or reconsidering who you are or finding meaningful connections with others even when you're kind of a mess and they are too.

Not nearly the first time CKR's gotten to play a queer character, but man, this one really is the heart of the in-universe community, and, through that, of the film. A rare chance to see him so far out of the prickly persona! He's just so solid and calm and there for others in this one and, and soft, ough. It's awesome.

By the way, if any of you have the commentary track or know someone who has, please drop me a line here or on discord (emotionalrisotto), I really wanna hear that.

Supernatural (2005)

I love Supernatural a lot. It was a formative experiences (albeit a very late one) and I owe a lot of my favourite stuff about fandom-ing to the buddies I met through it. I can't believe I'm telling you this (because who hasn't seen it, not because I'm reccing it), but you should really try it if you haven't. It's pretty rad.

I had no idea who this guy was when I saw that episode (the second ever one!), though. I simply cannot fathom what @nigeltde-fic felt when she first saw it. I think I personally got very lucky she didn't combust on the spot. It would've been unfortunate.

On a sillier note, CKR's character has weird tension with both Sam and Dean in this episode, which is par for the course. I personally think they should've... no, I shan't say it. You can probably imagine.

Californication (2008 – 2013)

I haven't actually seen it, lol (and I suspect I won't enjoy it, but I'm very curious and also CKR looks really really good).

The real reason for this one on the list is to share a fic rec. Really, it's a due South F/K fic featuring Lew Ashby. It's ridiculously hot and very satisfying in its romantic resolution, too (but then, I'm kind of big on selfcest. And consensual voyeurism. And pretend relationships when done like this. And sublimated yearning. Erm.)

Shattered (2010 – 2011)

I wish this never happened. I badly, badly wish this never happened. I can't turn back time, but I can warn those luckier than me: do not go there. Yes, even for this dude. You'll sleep better not knowing just what it is he was the EP on. And the only important part — the mascara — can be seen above (yes, the show does look that bad, it's not just the gifs).

Just kidding — I watched it, didn't I? You'll have fun hating it! Just prepare for industrial grade cringe, lower your expectations (No, lower. No, still lower than that. And just a bit more.) and you'll have a great time!

Star trek: Discovery (2024)

Or, as I call it, Star Trek: The Mediocre Show. Discovery S5 was... what it was, but it was a wonderful viewing experience — mostly thanks to the gang (@kittkatk and @feroxargentea especially!)

What a joy it is, to follow a show week by week, yelling and laughing and discussing the whole time. And giffing, too. I was very happy to contribute to the Disco fandom from my own little obsessive corner, and I was glad to see people adoring Rayner, haha.

He's a pretty neat character — very much a stereotype, yes, but with CKR's usual twist of odd vulnerability and weirdness. Also, I loved the ears. I miss the ears. The ears were great.

I even wrote a fic! Although it's not within my usual range to write for canons and universes I don't know well — and back then, I'd only seen S5 of Disco. It was a lot of suffering, and a lot of fun.

Closing thoughts

I'd really love the dude to get a better agent. And possibly better taste, but I realise that's a tougher ask. Seriously, it's been too long since he was in something majorly cool. I'm grateful to him, at least, for not making terrible music on the side. And I still have a lot of his back catalogue to get through, some of it even good, so there will be more insanity. Until then!

[charlieg1rl]

𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐥 (𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫, 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐫, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.) 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐲, 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠.

𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝟔𝟎𝟎

It’s late afternoon, and the sunlight filters through the kitchen window, casting a warm glow over the countertops. You and Minho have decided to cook together, but it’s quickly becoming apparent that things aren’t going as smoothly as they should.

You’ve been handed the responsibility of peeling potatoes, and while you thought you knew what you were doing, the dull scrape of the potato peeler barely scraping off the skin and your awkward grip tell a different story. The frustration starts to build as your hands slip more than once, and the potato peeler looks like it’s about to go flying any second.

Minho, busy chopping vegetables on the other side of the counter, pauses when he hears the clattering of the peeler on the countertop.

"Wait," he says, placing his knife down and making his way over to you. His eyebrows raise slightly, a mix of amusement and concern. "What… are you doing?"

You let out an exasperated sigh, holding up the poorly peeled potato as if that would answer the question. “I’m peeling potatoes, obviously.”

He smirks, trying not to laugh, though the twinkle in his eye gives him away. “Obviously,” he echoes teasingly. “But you’re doing it all wrong.”

You roll your eyes, annoyed but also secretly relieved that he’s going to help. "Okay, potato-peeling expert, show me how it’s done."

Without missing a beat, Minho steps behind you, close enough that you can feel the warmth of his chest against your back. His hands reach around to cover yours, fingers wrapping around the handle of the peeler. His voice is soft, but there’s a certain smugness as he explains, “You’re holding it too tightly. Relax your grip, like this.”

His fingers guide yours, gently showing how to use the peeler in smooth, even strokes. The skin of the potato curls off effortlessly under his guidance, and you realize just how much easier it is when you’re not fighting the tool.

“See? Not that hard,” he murmurs close to your ear, the sound of his voice sending a slight shiver down your spine.

You try to focus on what he’s saying, but it’s hard when he’s so close, the heat of his body and the casual confidence he has in moments like this catching you off guard. “Yeah, easy for you to say,” you mumble.

His grip on your hands loosens as he steps back, satisfied with his teaching. “Just takes practice,” he says with a small grin, picking up his knife again to go back to his vegetables. But you can tell he’s secretly enjoying your struggle, teasing you without saying a word.

You take a deep breath, trying to follow his advice. After a few more tries, you manage to get the hang of it, though you’re sure you’ll never live down the fact that you needed a lesson in something as simple as peeling potatoes.

Minho, glancing over his shoulder every now and then, can’t help but add little comments as you work. “Careful, don’t cut yourself,” he says, though there’s no real worry in his voice—just more teasing.

“Wouldn’t have to worry about it if someone didn’t make me nervous,” you mutter under your breath.

He chuckles softly, shaking his head. “You’ll be fine. Just remember, I’m always right when it comes to stuff like this.”

You roll your eyes again, but there’s a smile tugging at your lips now. Even if he’s insufferable at times, you have to admit that he’s a pretty good teacher—when he’s not making fun of you, that is.

[triptanite]

Arabellan Dry

Rolan fuckers I thank you for your patience - thought we could do with something a little light hearted after the angst of my first post :') enjoy

This is adjacent to the Speak to Me post (which I'll be turning into more of a chapter series over time) but you don't have to read either for the other to make sense

Pairing: Rolan X reader

Content warning/s: none

MASTERLIST

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"I like them. Your horns." You profess, absentmindedly. You take in the details up close, refusing to look down where you're sure he would be looking up at you.

"You'd be the first." Rolan swallows hard, his glass bone dry.

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You squint at the faded label of the liquor bottle. It lays heavy in your hand, one of dozens procured by your party during your travels.

Arabellan Dry

Little flakes of wax seal crumble onto your fingers as you crack the top, and you sniff the contents with caution. A little more sour than you'd like, but you've certainly has worse. You take a hefty first sip, a familiar burn lacing down your throat and into your chest. You wince and ponder how people actually like this stuff. The scent lingers on your breath now, and your wandering eyes land on the tiefling you'd been avoiding since the party started.

It wasn't that you hadn't wanted to see him. No, quite the opposite. It was only recently that you'd returned to the Emerald Grove bloodied and bruised, a gentle giant druid at your side and victory in your veins. The rest of the day therein was filled with a flurry of conversations that you couldn't remember. Your body was exhausted, your brain a blur. Tieflings, druids, so many mixed emotions. You remember being thanked, being scolded, wiping goblin viscera off your weapons, eating gruel.

One thing you do recall was the golden gaze of one tiefling wizard; Rolan. Your brief conversation is lost somewhere in your mind between the sleeping tadpole and the likely head trauma from battle, but you remember those eyes. The high of combat made your hands quiver. It took most of your attention to will your body to calm, weakening your listening skills.

Now, rather than adrenaline alone, your blood buzzes with dry red wine.

Shadowheart's gaze catches yours over her own goblet of something undoubtedly strong. She smirks, gesturing her head towards Rolan and his siblings. Mischief twinkles in her eyes, and you resist the urge to roll yours in response. Shadowheart tips her cup back, draining the contents, and mimicks for you to do the same.

You glance down. Your face looks back at you at an unflattering angle in the deep red. It's unclear whether it's the colour of the wine or if you really are that flushed in the cheeks. Looking back up, you bring your chalice up in a silent toast to your friend.

Fuck it.

You gulp down your drink with little elegance. Courage, Sharran-style.

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"Patience. Have you no respect for showmanship?" Rolan chides his siblings as he cracks his knuckles.

Oh, that voice. Low and warm and boastful, like velvet.

Your head swims slightly as you approach. You focus very hard on keeping your feet from crossing over. Perhaps you'd overestimated your drinking abilities.

"Having performance issues Rolan?" Cal heckles. Your stifled giggle announces your presence, and Cal waves you down in greeting.

"Hush you, now..." Rolan replies, eyes quickly flicking over you before he braces himself. "Behold!"

A gorgeous burst of glittering light manifests in the air like a firework. You stare in child-like awe, and find yourself clapping genuinely. Finally, Rolan turns his attention to you.

"Adoring applause? You're too kind." He bows, smiling.

"Humble as ever, Rolan." You bow at the waist in mock-servitude, just catching your balance.

"Remember when he could hardly cast that?" Lia laughs.

"They grow up so fast."

You procure a handkerchief from one of your pockets, dabbing your eyes in jest. Cal sobs like a proud mother, patting his own tear-less eyes.

"Never have I met such troglodytes. Now, pass the wine." Rolan extends a hand towards Lia, not an ounce of venom in his words.

"Don't suppose you have any tricks to one-up Rolan the Great?" Cal asks as you join their log seat. You run your finger around the rim of your empty chalice, thinking. The atmosphere is familiar and calming, you feel your shoulders relax.

"Afraid not, although I've been told I have two incredible left feet on the dance floor. I'm sure that's worth something."

"Ha! I'd like to see that." Lia chides, having produced a small loaf of bread to accompany her drink. Quick as lightning, Cal reaches over and plucks a chunk out of Lia's hand and into his own mouth. She flicks one of his horns in annoyance.

"Needs cheese, Lia." Cal nods thoughtfully.

"Thanks, Cal." She responds in the same tone, "Show me where the good stuff is and I'll snag more bread from the table."

"Deal. Rolan, mind my drink, yeah?"

Before you or Rolan can catch up with their conversation, the two are already off. Lia laughs as she holds the remainder of the loaf high out of Cal's reach.

"Idiots." Rolan chuckles affectionately. He looks good when he smiles, when he's relaxed, you notice.

"Can't live with them, can't live without them." You agree, pointing your head towards some of your companions.

You spot Volo holding Astarion a conversational hostage, the very picture of disinterest on his pale face. As Cal passes by, carefully balanced stack of cheese wedges in his arm, Astarion ropes him into the chat and makes a smooth escape. Cal looks helplessly around but it's too late. Volo has brought out a quill and several hundred questions, it seems. You laugh, drunk on moments of normalcy after weeks of planning and fighting and surviving.

"What are you drinking tonight?" Rolan asks, a glass goblet half-full of something dark and red in his grasp. There's an easy smile on his face.

"It was Arabellan Dry," You tilt your hand to show it's emptiness, "Although, I've discovered that I may be more of an ale person."

"It does have a bit of a bite," Rolan laughs. You eye his pointed teeth, wondering if he does too. "I suppose it's more my thing than yours. Not to worry though. With the amount that you and your companions have borrowed during your adventure, I'm sure there'll be something there you'll like."

"You look good, Rolan," You admit, a little too tipsy to catch yourself. "Good-happy, you look happy. It suits you."

It's hard to see with the red hue of his skin and the dark light of night, but you swear you see a flush crawl up his neck and towards his cheeks.

"Ah, thank you." He stammers just slightly, golden eyes raking over your face, "You as well. I imagine that's the glow of victory on you."

"Well, that and the good company." You cast your eyes around your camp again. People are talking, drinking, dancing. Scratch is zipping between people like it's a race to get as many pets as possible. The air smells deliciously of campfire wood smoke. You hope it never washes out of your hair. "It feels safe here, even if only for a moment. I like seeing my friends just enjoy something. I think we all deserve to let off a bit of steam. I'm certain I'm still washing goblin smell out of my clothes."

As you turn back to your conversation, you catch Rolan's lingering eyes. He looks slightly out of sorts, like he was half-listening. At his lack of response, you brush imaginary dirt from your forehead.

"Something on my face?" You chuckle, only slightly self-conscious.

"No," Rolan startles back to reality, sounding somewhat embarassed. He hesitates a moment, gulping down a healthy amount of wine before continuing, "I just, I understand what you mean. Not necessarily for the bard and the druid, but for Cal and Lia. All things considered, I'm glad you asked us to stay."

"I expect it'll make a good story for Lowakkan."

"Lorroakan."

"That's the one! Looking forward to Baldur's gate, I assume?"

"Oh you've no idea." Rolan grins wide, all of his excitement tensing up in his shoulders. Noticing that his siblings are otherwise occupied, he sits himself down next to you. He's so close that you can feel his body warmth against your side. There are fine lines around his eyes that crinkle when he smiles. He smells like the campfire and something vaguely herbal. Your head swims again.

"Something on my face?" Rolan teases, breaking you out of your staring trance as you realise with embarassment that he was still talking.

"No! Sorry, please go on."

"It's all right," He laughs, draining the last of his wine, "I think it comes with being a wizard. The talking, that is."

"Should I expect Lorroakan to be chatty too, then?" You ask genuinely, turning your body to face more towards him. Your knees knock against his and neither of you make an effort to move away.

"I hope so, I want to hear everything he has to say. He's going to make me the best wizard in Faerûn, I bet my robes on it."

"He can hardly make you into something you already are," You nudge him, making a gesture similar to his when he did his glittering light spell earlier.

"You flatter me," He laughs. You feel your chest swell a little. You think that you could come up with every cheesy compliment in the book if it made him laugh like that. "Though I will admit, it's not easy to even get to that point with most. People see my appearance and in their ignorance miss out on something spectacular."

He boasts, but his tone is tinged with something more. Genuine hurt, sadness. You eye your arms and legs, more exposed in your casual wear than your armour of late. Though you'd been given several new scars and gashes, you supposed most people greeted you as an adventurer. You weren't a tiefling like Rolan, like Cal, like Lia. Ironically, you felt sorry for people who would had never heard Cal's quick humour or his incredible mediating skills. You felt angry at the thought of them not taking Lia seriously - her fierce determination and loyalty, her compassion, her resolve.

"Ignorance is right," You nod, "Their loss for not having met you, or Cal or Lia. You're destined for greatness, I can sense it. Even if you are stubborn as an ox and have awful taste in wine."

"Flattery, insult, and a pep talk? I should join you more often." He scoffs lightly, adjusting some loose strands of hair that have curled around his horns. "Though I'll need you to tell me when I look dishevled. People already take one look at my head and move aside, I don't need to look like I've fought an ogre and lost too-dammit!" His claw tangles into a knot in his hair, and you notice his voice slurring slightly and fingers fumbling.

Looks like Arabellan Dry hits everyone hard and fast.

You place your cup down and stifle a laugh. Looking into his eyes, you raise your hands up towards his head.

"May I?"

Rolan stops losing the fight with his hair for a second. He looks taken aback and relieved in equal measure . He nods, electing not to speak, and you swear he looks a little shy as he does.

You reach up, vision blurring your two hands into four, then back into two again. Gently, you untangle Rolan's hair, smoothing it back where it usually sweeps around his horns. You untuck his fingers, and he softly grasps your hand in his as you brush against the base of one curved horn.

"I like them. Your horns." You profess, absentmindedly. You take in the details up close, refusing to look down where you're sure he would be looking up at you.

"You'd be the first." Rolan swallows hard, his glass bone dry.

You aren't lying, you have always been fascinated by the diversity of body parts in Faerûn. Tiefling horns, Dragonborn tails, cambion wings. Having appendages typical of a human meant that you'd only ever admired from afar - not wanting to risk offending or overstepping. But basking in the dim moonlight, wine in your veins, and the permission of your friend and ally; well, it would be a shame not to revel a little in the moment.

You press the pads of your fingers against the side of one horn, unsure of how much feeling it might have. You move slowly, allowing plenty of time for Rolan to interject with that assertive tone you hear so often from him. It's smooth, but textured with ridges and grooves. It reminds you of the tusk of an elephant or the curled horn of a ram.

Rolan's breath hitches, his free hand clutching so hard at his cup that it might shatter. You lighten your touch, realising with horror that you might be making him uncomfortable. His hand stills, remaining atop yours, keeping you there without force.

"Sorry, is this okay? Should I stop?" You ask genuinely, frantically.

You finally cast your eyes down, eyelids heavy. Blood rushes through your face at breakneck speed, swelling your cheeks rosy. He meets your gaze, his own golden eyes slightly glazed from the alcohol. His voice comes out in a low whisper, nervous, curious.

"No, it's okay. You don't have to stop."

"But do you want me to?"

You can practically hear the cogs turning in Rolan's brain. His cheeks are flaming red and the heat from his skin could singe off your eyebrows. You're not really any better, heart hammering like your chest was a forge. You've got tunnel vision, just about forgetting that you're at a lake-side camp with your friends and not in an isolated dreamscape on the Astral Plane. Rolan seemingly finds his words, opening his mouth to reply when you're both accosted by a jostle and the smell of baked goods.

"Remind me never to rely on you two for rescue, you're useless!" Cal admonishes you both. You and Rolan snap away from each other like you've been burnt. "I was stuck talking to Volo for ages."

"Oh my gods, Cal, is that you? Why, you must've aged about a century since I last saw you!" Lia gasps, plucking Rolan's chalice from his grip and replacing it with a small wicker basket full of bread. "You all right? Rolan's not giving you a hard time is he?"

"No, no! Of course not," You stammer, giving your most convincing attempt to appear casual, "What did you guys end up finding? Did you raid a picnic island or something? You've got enough cheese to feed an all-out mouse army."

"Well despite being prisoner to Volo for twelve tenday, I managed to get something useful out of him. Apparently this cheese is best with grapes, so I got grapes, and then this one is a dessert cheese? So I think we should try that last. Oh, and this one..."

You tune Cal out slightly as he pulls wedge after wedge of various dairy products from a basket lined with cheesecloth.

"You and Rolan been drinking from the same cup?" Lia asks you, the ghost of a smirk on her mouth.

"Pardon?" You practically squeak, voice an octave higher than normal.

"The Dry? You both stink of it," She laughs. Lia pinches a slightly crumbly block of a harder cheese from Cal and hands it to you with a slice of a crusty bread. "Here, it's good for sharing."

Your face burns as you try to decipher how serious she's being. Rolan looks just as embarassed at the exchange, tight-lipped like he doesn't trust his tongue. You split the block in half and offer some to Rolan to break the tension.

"Want some?" You ask, almost shyly.

Your hands touch again, and you're certain you're both as transparent as a window to Lia.

"I would love some, thank you." He replies, a little too stiff to be convincing. Turns out you both have something in common, you're terrible actors.

Lia eyes you, all three of you picking up on the silent conversations that seem to be happening simultaneously.

"Oh! That's a good one," Cal interjects, "Volo says that one goes best with Arabellan Dry."

You lose your composure, giving into a fit of laughter as you raise your empty cup in agreement. You're drunk; whether that's on wine or embarassment or exhilaration you can't tell.

But given the company you're currently in, you don't mind not knowing just yet.

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Ta da! Took a little while of coming back to this one every few days but I think it turned out sweet. Looking forward to writing more Rolan already - take care :3

[chynandri]

I’ve got so much on my mind! Eva/Neil stuff To the moon beach episode spoilers

While I’ve always liked the Eva/Neil ship I have seen it as more one sided, or maybe just UNdecided. Neil I think it got increasingly obvious that he liked her, but it was hard to tell with Eva. I think in this game she definitely showed Interest in him. peeking at his shirtlessness and whatever’s in his pants at the pool lmao. plus wanting to believe the real Neil would want to protect her and do nice gestures. I think my most satisfying personal interpretation is that she’s just isn’t all that sure how she feels about him besides that obviously, this was her best childhood friend. After all I think it’s hard to have feelings for someone who was so distant and secretive at the same time. But there’s definitely still Something there that just… never got the chance to become something more.

I think a feeling of ‘incompleteness’ is prominent after finishing this game. Somehow having some of the truth confirmed/spelled out to you just leaves me with more questions. And perhaps that’s the whole point… the incompleteness of their feelings for each other, the incompleteness of the beach trip, the incompleteness of the simulated beach trip, the incompleteness of Neil himself as a person. I feel like the life lesson here was that you got to be ok with not having all the closure but realize that things have an end in spite of it. And you’ve got to move on once you’re ready to. The game giving you one final chance to linger on a perfect moment of Neil and Eva at their most vulnerable, letting You choose when the story ends was really profound. It’s like Kan Gao was saying to you ‘yeah, you’ve known all along Neil was dying/is dead. And that this series wasn’t going to last forever. You can keep returning to it again and again, but that fact remains and eventually you will stop playing the games and move on.’

I’m not sure if I’m articulating the metaness of this ending well enough, but Eva and the player feel in parallel here. Eva’s relationship with Neil, and the players relationship to this series.

Just wow. What an incredible ending. It almost felt too quick that the biggest theory of Neil being dead all along was confirmed but, it’s not too quick at all considering this story’s been going on for 13 years I guess. Still leaves me in shock even though that’s honestly what the games have been Strongly hinting at.

Will try to remember To the Moon for as long as I can. What an impactful game series…

[eulaliasims]

Shep round 1, 1/2

Shep gets to be my trial-and-error sim and go first this round. As you can see, she's super thrilled about it.

She soon spots Norweni, starting off on her usual rounds from the Seax farm next-door, and rushes to say hello. Shep has only recently set up shop in Veridia, moving out on her own from her mothers' home nearby, but Norweni's travels and younger exploits are legendary in the wider area. Shep would love to hear some stories, maybe over a cup of mead sometime--

Norweni: That's all in the past. I prefer not to talk about it. Everything good here? You need anything?

Shep: Uh, no--

Norweni: Great. Let me know if that changes.

Can we all stop standing in the decorative cart???

Okay, Norweni's kinda brusque, whatever. Shep has stuff to do anyway, like trekking over to the public well to draw water--

--and, more importantly for a Popularity sim, socialize! One of her new neighbors introduces herself as Derelei. Derelei is quick to catch Shep up on everything from the newest gossip to the recent weather.

Eisu: Ahh, I remember that stage. It'll pass, heh. You just gotta let them test their independence!

Wolfric: :(

Derelei: Here's a free sample for you to mess around with!

Is it the fucking widescreen TV

Derelei: (: (:

Of course it is.

Shep has to skedaddle home before long with her illicit TV. Seeds need sowing, and she needs to check on the skep. Her mothers insisted she take a queen cell to start a hive at her new homestead. She's not looking to start making mead like them... but the honey would be nice.

I'm having to spend a lot more time managing Shep's needs than I'm used to! That will probably be easier in the multi-sim households, where the work gets spread around more, I hope.

After a hard two days of planting, Shep treats herself to a trip to the bathhouse and Veridia's mead hall. The cook at the hall makes a mean pasty, and Shep spends some time afterward introducing herself to more locals, like Fial, Norweni's sister, and Helenet the midwife. Shep heard rumors that Helenet is some sort of witch or fae, but she doesn't see any pointy ears, and Helenet seems perfectly nice, if a little shy.

The wheat is coming along nicely; the weeds are also coming along nicely. Gardening works up quite an appetite; Shep has to admit, she misses having Mama's fresh bread and cheese ready and waiting at noontime.

Shep has a much less awkward chat with Norweni at the well when Norweni inquires about how the garden is going. Apparently she just really isn't interested in talking about past things.

Also at the well is Shep's new friend, Derelei! She's so easy and fun to talk to.

[lazarusrisingx]

Dreams.

The light of zaynes life was his dreams.

The sky above him was a hollow grey color. Clouds hung heavy in the atmosphere, begging to release a swell of rain. The wind rippled through the trees, breathing an unsettling chill into the surrounding area. Rubble surrounded him, an old grocery store he had frequently seen while asleep. The remnants of an old and yellowed sale sign lay on the ground at his feet, contrasted with the normally soot blackened and rock strewn ground around it.

He could remember what it looked like, or shouldve looked like.

Bright white lights making it seem like a beacon to late night dwellers. Snacks lining the shelves stacked neatly, chilly beverages with sales displayed on the glass doors covering them. In that place, the only chilly air was when you opened a cooler to pull out a refreshing drink.

Zayne peered behind him, the sound of wanderers wildly roaming the streets was constant. Today was no different, but strangely they were much quieter. As if they were waiting. Saving their breath for a symphony they would sing later.

It had him on edge, a hand resting on the pistol on his hip, an extra cartridge of bullets hidden in one of his coat pockets.

But for now, he had some exploring to do.

Zayne stepped over rubble, flashes of his dream coming to him like some sort of sick deja vu. He held her hand as the two of them walked across a neat concrete path. A beautiful smile beaming up at him. Zayne couldnt hear her voice. Not last night for some reason.

He followed a similar path, his hand itching with how lonely it had felt.

The glass doors had been long shattered, and inside this tiny convenience store no lights illuminated it. The white shelves were tossed and knocked over. Old rotting food made a sickly sweet stench fill the air nearly making Zayne gag. He imagined it smelled far better in his dream. Like lavender cleaning soap and cooking hot dogs on the rollergrill.

He walked to the back. he had taken her to get sweets. Chocolates to be exact. Zayne couldnt figure out if the two were actually dating yet. She was always around that doctor though. Always popping in at his office. Always bringing him sweets.

Zaynes heart skipped over a beat as his fist clenched.

What had he done differently than that man? What had he done to lose her? To have to be the one to…

There was a quiet scuffling inside of the store, the tiny squeak of mice made Zayne jump slightly. A metal can rattled off to the side as the animal pitter pattered away from the tall man.

He had made his way to the exact shelf the two had stood at.

It was toppled over. He let out a disappointed sigh as he stared at the scattered bits of candy, some of it busted open and smeared along the floor. Some of it still intact. She must have really enjoyed this stuff. Her eyes had lit up like fireworks when the doctor had given to her.

He slowly crouched on the ground, a deafening screech made him cringe as he pushed the metal shelving to the side, searching for the specific candy bar.

Zaynes hands grasped the dark foil wrappers, bringing them close to his face to try and makeout the faded words on the packaging, turning them around to check for holes. He had eaten enough expired food since the event to not really care about expiration dates.

Anything to feel close to her.

Finally, to his happiness, he had found it.

A dark chocolate wafer bar with strawberry cream. There was a heart on the package, no wonder she had seemed so excited to have this. It mustve been… romantic.

A pain throbbed in his chest as he looked away for a moment. His eyes slowly closed as he thought back to his memories to her.

Of course it wasnt long before they were ruined. Before he was remember what he had to do to her.

Frost began to spread over the ground as his hands began to shake. The bar inside his hands became hard and icey.

He let out a sharp breath, cursing himself.

Zayne slowly stood up as he made his way out of the store as the walls began to turn frosty.

The doctor never had this type of reaction. The doctor always seemed in control.

If he was to ever get to her, would she even bother to give him a chance?

A dark cloud swam over Zaynes eyes. What he wouldnt give to be that doctor. What he wouldnt give to feel her skin on himself. Not in the dream.

He stopped walking once he passed the bright yellow sign.

Something was off about the atmosphere now.

Instead of the faint cries of wanderers, it was silent.

Dead silent. He would be able to hear a pin drop.

Zaynes hand wrapped tightly around the frozen bar, tucking it into his breast pocket, close to his heart. It was like doing this would keep her with him. Keep her close.

He turned in a full circle, glancing up at the sky above him. There was definitely a wanderer nearby. And a large one if it was silencing the others.

The clouds moved at a faster pace above him. The rain would hit soon, and it would be a torrential downpour.

Time was of the essence then.

Zayne sighed quietly. It wasnt easy to do, but when the wanderer was powerful enough you could feel tension in the air. As if the molecules were excited by its very presents. With her, Zayne wouldnt have to assume which direction it was in. She would help him.

His eyes opened, it was either to the north or south. The feelings were faint, sort of like a tug to the gut. But a guessing game wasnt something he had time for. Usually, if it didnt look as if the sky was about to let loose the wrath of heaven, he would have time to track it, to make a mistake.

Not today. Today he would bring it to him. Getting rained on wasnt awful. But he was quite a long ways away from his safe house. And trudging through the mud and muck would mean he would need to find a way to take a shower. Which was not easy to do now.

Zayne pulled out his gun, looking down and picking up that neon yellow sign from before. The tin was flexible and wobbled slightly. Rust traversed the back of it like moss. He set it against the wall of the store and took a few steps away. In the dead silence anything would be able to hear noise from miles away.

The wind had begun to pick up around him, whipping his hair in all directions. He smoothed it back and calmly trained his gun at the now propped up sign. He emptied one, two, three bullets into it.

The sound of tin shredding and the gunshot rang in his ears unpleasantly. He cringed at the screech it made, and stayed silent. Listening, waiting.

Silence.

Dead silence.

Frustration built in the back of his throat.

Another gunshot rang out as the wind picked up once more. Shrapnel from the sign fell like ruined snowflakes to the concrete. His bullets making a tinkling sound like bells as the cases ejected themselves.

Silence again.

But the tension in the air began to build.

That feeling like static that had built up on a balloon.

The hair on the back of his neck and arms began to stand on end. Zaynes body tensed as he whipped his head in either direction, trying to listen for the heavy footsteps he knew was coming.

But nothing came.

“Come on!” he finally yelled.

He aimed at the sign again, the wanderer was close but it was moving silently. He prayed it wasnt another invisible one. Those were always god awful to try and beat. It exhausted his evol trying to freeze a portion of it to be able to catch a glimpse of where it would run.

He began to squeeze the trigger, ready to fire off another shot.

Zaynes feet left the ground as a massive clap of thunder shook the ground.

He was thrown atleast 10 feet over the concrete, grunting as his arms and hands had gravel and rubble driven into them.

A earth shattering screech came, as the clouds parted above a purple glowing ball soaring down to the earth.

He scrambled across the ground, a string of curses leaving him as Zayne threw himself out of the way of the impact site. The creature landed on the ground, the air around him becoming excited. On his back, he caught a glimpse of it for a moment, large bat like wings with rips and shreds through them spread wide. Dark purple scales covered what looked like a mutilated bears body, its snout elongated and filled with jutting sharp teeth. Claws and spines covered its arms and legs, some with blood and with flesh still clinging to them.

It was triple the size of Zayne. With a bright purple protocore throbbing in the middle of its chest.

Eyes like amethyst focused on the man in front of it, and a screech like a knife dragging on glass left its mouth.

Zayne scrambled to the side as it began to charge him, but his movements were slow, as if he was moving through molasses. The very air itself seemed to still wherever it was.

Frost coated the ground around zayne as he dragged his hands over ground, the monster landed on the icy patch, its claws giving it a little more traction as it slid across, away from him. As it got farther away, Zayne was able to move quicker. He scrambled to his feet, trying to create distance between him and the beast.

He nearly tripped over his feet from the odd change in speed as he backed away, his gun raised as he unloaded a few bullets in its direction.

The beast spun around to him, lunging forward.

His bullets froze in mid air, or rather, began moving at a snails pace as they shot forward.

Zayne looked in horror, beginning to back up as the monster staggered towards him. Its hulking frame was barely supported by its mutated body parts, making it move slower than he would expect. Another awful screech came out, and a glow began to form at its mouth.

Zayne lunged out of the way as a beam of bright purple energy came shooting towards him. Trails of ice shot up from the ground, creating a wall of spikes around the beast.

He continued to try and make distance, looking around the environment, this may be a fight he loses. The only chance he had was to force the beast to impale itself on something. His bullets would be useless against it.

Wherever the beam landed objects were sucked towards it, not being destroyed, but more of disappearing into the ball of black energy that formed by the ground.

He looked back at the beast, which was charging up again.

Zayne stomped on the ground, ice shooting forward and curving around the beast, it wouldnt do much but buy him time, obstructing him from view.

He had to retreat.

Frost climbed its way up his one of his hands and shoulders, the pain burning into him and making him gasp, it wasnt the first time and it wouldnt be the last.

He made a wide curve around the beast, stumbling slightly from the ice that was now creeping over his leg, making him move sluggishly.

Zayne glanced back, just to see the beast launching itself into the air. Futily, he pointed his gun up at it, firing the rest of his bullets towards it. Some of them wildly missing, others stopping completely just inches from its protocore. Now that it was up in the air he could feel pressure from above him, trying to stop his movements.

He lowered himself, trying to reduce the effect of the evol as he raced to get into cover.

Another clap of thunder sounded, as rain began to pour from the sky, the droplets halting within ten feet of the beast. It was helpful to know exactly how wide of an aura this beast had around it, but still it didnt help.

The rain froze and tinkled to the ground when it came closer to Zayne, and an idea formed in his mind.

He stopped retreating, aiming a hand up at the beast. He didnt need to hit it, just get his evol close enough to freeze the rain around it.

A flurry of ice formed in his palm and blasted outwards, he grunted as frost and ice crawled faster along his legs and hands. The flurry he sent raced to the beast, freezing droplets around it turning them into thin spikes of ice. A smile formed on his face. If the beast dropped down again it would send those spikes right into itself. They would be like little shards of glass. Not effective, but they would hurt like hell. Dpending on how much damage the wanderer received to its protocore, it should cause power fluctuations.

His one hand was joined by his other as he stumbled backwards, another blast of freezing ice shot out towards it, he aimed right under it, trying to ensure any form of landing would cause it to impale itself.

The beast screeched at him. Preparing another beam not far away. Zayne dove for cover as it less loose, sweeping the ground a few feet in front of him. He felt the pull of whatever energy mass it created for itself; it wasnt strong, but it made it even harder to move, sliding him slowly towards it.

As if exhausted, the beasts wings made a half flap, before it began to fall out of the air.

Another boom of thunder shook the ground under Zayne, he was scrambling to bring himself out of the gravity of the energy ball, only knowing his little plan had worked when he heard an awful pained screeching from the beast in front of him.

The ground shook again as it landed, half of its body landing on the old ice wall he had created before, the spikes shoving themselves deep into its belly, the other frozen drops of rain suddenly began to race down onto it, dropping down and impaling themselves into its hide.

Thick, oily purple blood leaked from its wounds as it howled in pain. One particularly large spike had landed on the side of its protocore, tearing the tender skin surrounding it, letting a torrent of blood slosh to the ground around it. The aura around it was still flickering and fluctuating, droplets of rain splashed and froze around it now.

Zayne lifted his pistol and fired off a few rounds, the bullets stuttering and flying forward as if never being frozen. He put down the gun and sent another blast of ice into the air above it, fat droplets of rain turning into thicker peices of spiky ice.

The creature struggled and gnashed its pointed teeth as more ice began to impale itself at different intervals into it, the more landed inside of it, the more the field around it began to fluctuate and allow more openings for attacks.

Zayne staggered further away from it. His legs now stiff and covered in frost. He sucked in a pained breath as he stopped trying to kill the beast. The pair writhed on the ground together, Zayne trying to calm his nearly out of control evol, and the beast trying to unimpale itself from those thick ice spikes.

Rain turned to ice around him, shattering as it landed on the ground, pricking his numbed limbs painfully.

“Im sorry… but you-you cant live.” Zayne muttered to the beast.

He dragged himself up to his knees, this wasnt his worst fight by far, but it would be in his top three, and definitely reminded him why he needed to bring protofield dampeners with him no matter the monster he would eventually hunt. This could all be solved easily with one. But he was stupid enough to forget it.

He held onto the wrist of his nearly stiff and frozen arm, letting out a cry of pain as he forced the limb to point towards the beast. It was because of her that he had this much resolve. Watching her pass, from his own hands, created a deep hatred for wanderers. For anything that reminded him of the event that had turned his life upside down.

Zayne could see her face, filled with pain and eyes full of tears as she had begun to turn into a wanderer. He remembered her words. Her voice echoed in his head as she had slowly turned. Those last words had never left him. And every time he heard a wanderer, or saw one, he thought of her. Thought of the fact that, if that event had never happened, if these things had never come to earth he would never have had to do this. It filled his heart with a sickening rage.

He sneered at the beast.

“You, your a blight on this world.” he said.

A glow began to form in the beasts mouth once more, pointed directly at him.

Zayne let out a cruel harsh laugh, frost gathering around his arm, whoever could charge faster would win this battle. A battle against time.

He shut his eyes, thinking back to his dreams. The picture of her face floated over his eyelids. Her beautiful smile, plushies held in her hands, a bit of chocolate smeared on her cheek after messily eating a dessert.

What he wouldnt give to see her. What he wouldnt give to be near her. What he wouldnt give to hold her tightly. Given the chance, he would never let her go. He would never let her leave his sight.

Power shot out of his hands, this blast stronger than the others, as if the very thought of her strengthened him.

The beast screeched, half of the spikes reached it, but it was only half the spikes that Zayne needed in order to peirce its protocore.

The wanderer writhed and shreaked and bled. Dark purple fluid pouring from its chest, splashing and flooding the concrete around it. The protocore in its chest began to glow brightly as it was cracked open, purple light illuminating the rain soaked ground around them.

Zayne fell forward, screaming in pain as his limbs began to contract and freeze. Tears sprung into his eyes as the man writhed on the ground in front of the beast. It wasnt long before his own screams of pain were joined with the beast in front of him as it slowly bled.

However, unlike the usual wanderer, the beast did not slowly fade out and leave its protocore. Instead, it only began to glow bright and brighter, until bright lilac was all that illuminated Zaynes vision.

He panted and attempted to stand, but it was impossible. He was stuck in place.

Would it explode? It wasnt often that a protocore would continue to build power after it was cracked. Zayne hadnt even thought about this little fact, or that he was merely a few feet in front of it now.

He shut his eyes as the light began to glow brighter, an odd tug at his limbs, and heat building around the monster let him know that this was definitely the end.

If that was so, he would die thinking about something he loved.

Her smile, her cheery face, took over his eyelids.

“Dr. zayne, dont you think you should calm down on eating so many sweets?” She teased.

“Mmmm, as a doctor myself, i know that it is not a pressing matter.” he responded.

She shook her head, leaning forwards and touching his jaw. The way her hands cupped his cheeks made Zayne burn with jealousy. It should be him. It wouldve been him.

The lilac glow brought him even closer, and heat wrapped around his body, suffocating him. He choked on the impossibly warm air, just barely able to bring up the image of her face as he choked out a few more words.

“I love you… i love you my darling girl… let him care for you as much as i do…”

And the world went dark around him.

if youve made it this far i just wan tto say THANK YOU!!! this is my

first official chapter of a yandere story. its gonna be a bit of a slow burn maybe???? im really drunk and i got progressively more drunk when writing this but yeah!! hope this lived up to your expectations and youll read the coming chapters

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Ateez Dynamics (San's Perspective)

Time to look into what San's perspective is for the group members. Let's take a look at his thoughts.

Hongjoong (The Protector/5 of Swords) Now normally the 5 of Swords means conflict and arguments between the two. I mean it can happen between the two, but the keyword is controversy, so maybe Hongjoong protects him from that, because we also go the protector card, they may both do this for one another. There is a need to respect each other's boundaries. Okay, I am now being drawn back to their reading, this may help me a bit, because I am getting there could be arguments between the two that may have to do with boundaries. So, the keyword on the deck seems to be important, I respect people's boundaries and expect the same for them. I lowkey think Hongjoong may not do that at times, because he can be so protective, oh, okay, I am starting to get this. So, Hongjoong may not get why he is upset, if you go back to Hongjoong's perspective you'll see what I am talking about, the reason San is showing me why he is upset is because he crosses the line from time to time. Ah, this makes sense, this is why perspective is important ya'll lol This is where the arguments stem from, well allegedly, don't know them, but wow, fascinating stuff here.

Seonghwa (The Partners/10 of Wands) Hmm, there could be a sense of responsibility they put on themselves, they may relate in that sense. There could be a sense of responsibility he feels he has for Seonghwa, or he sees Seonghwa as someone who puts others first and carries the weight of others. I mean they both seems to be that way. Carry the weight of the team, because you have the partners here, so they are the same, a tandem, working together here. It is like they both put their friendship and members first, which carry a lot of burdens for them. So, he relates to him in that sense.

Yunho (The Benefactor/5 of Cups/The Hanged Man) He seems to see Yunho as a man who finds a way to rise to the occasion, or find a way out of a deep whole, or a dark period. He finds a way to reflect at what he lost or what he is disappointed about, work through that, and moves forward. He always takes steps forward, not backwards. He knows his value and worth and uses it for his gain. It is like he takes a step back, pauses for a bit, looks through the situation, he may take some time away to himself to gather himself, and then moves forward. I am not sure he meditates, but the one card gives me that. Anyway, he values what he brings to the team, and probably respects how he handles things. This is more how he feels about him, than the dynamic, but love seeing this. Yunho seems like such a cool dude.

Yeosang (The Angel/Queen of Swords) Okay, he is giving me that he shows more confidence and composure than I thought he had lol Why does he not give me that though? He sees him as very intellectual and very observant. He helps those in need, is a generally sweet person. He guides and protects those he cares about. He keeps his composure through all the struggles and difficulties. There is a strong confidence and belief in himself that he has. Yo, why is Yeosang so hard for me to get? This seems new to me. He did not give me this energy lol Okay, San, thanks for the new information here. He stands for his beliefs. Okay, I remember him being this way, head strong and kind of stubborn, this is ringing a bell now from other readings I did about him. He likes that he is cool, calm and collected. Not overly emotional or dramatic. He knows what he wants and sticks to it. He doesn't say much, but when he speaks it speaks volumes. Interesting

Mingi (The Dreamer/Strength) Not at all surprised by what I see. Well, the strength card is represented by Leo energy. He is a Leo. Powerful, strong, very confident, I heard loyal, okay. Very strong willed, has lots of strength to endure difficult times. He knows his power but knows not to go overboard with it. He is optimistic, hopeful, has lots of dreams, also a strong imagination. He could be very intuitive as well, and also may have vivid dreams and share that with him. He is a force to be reckon with I hear. Once again, more about his love for Mingi, but not much of the dynamic. I guess he wants to share how he feels about him lol

Wooyoung (The Initiator/Queen of Wands/7 of Swords) So, I was going to put back the 7 of swords, because it was behind the QOW's, but I kept it because I want the tea, and both cards flew out hard, they basically fell on the floor, so I am going to keep it. He definitely sees him as very passionate. He sees him as someone who goes after what he wants. He sees him as someone who takes the initiative to get what needs to be done. I felt like someone gave him the opposite energy in a dynamic reading, don't remember who though. Now with that QOW'S energy, girl, how do I say this, I mean he may see him as attractive with this energy, not going to lie. It doesn't have to be romantic thought people, not going there. I mean I see some girls as attractive, doesn't mean I date them. But he also sees him as a shining star, very charming, alluring, has a nice presentation, what that means, who knows, just channeling, but with this 7 of swords, I am getting looks can be deceiving here. So, what I am getting is he isn't what he showcases or appears to be in public, that is what this is giving me. Because the keyword in this deck for 7 of swords is deception, so yeah. I do think he likes him, he gave me more positive energy toward him than others, but he may not be as confident as he appears is what this is giving me, because the keyword for the QOW's is confidence. Interesting once again. Man, San spills the tea, love his energy and how he explains things, he takes me on a journey.

Jongho (The Lustful/6 of Wands) Once again this boy gets the lustful card, I believe he got this for Hongjoong's reading, and also doing his ideal partner reading. Boy is a playboy lol Because the keyword on the card is I embrace my sexuality as a sacred gift, boy stop, anyway. Ya'll he a Freak, okay, let me stop. Umm, yeah, I think he sees him as someone who goes after what he wants and is successful at whatever he wants to achieve. It is like he enjoys winning at all costs. Like whatever he wants he achieves. I mean this could do with potential partner, because man, the lustful card speaks volumes, like why he had to throw that one out lol

Okay, this was a fun ride. I love chatty energies like this. I can't wait to get to his perspective reading, because I know boy wants to talk, his energy is one of the stronger ones for me for that reading. I knew I would enjoy this one and he did not disappoint.

[greywake]

Ugh! I hate paying the ADHD tax 😥

[ccircusclwn]

smt smt finally finished playing melody of moominvalley....... uhhh yeah i found the woodies part very cute love those little guys!!

sm doodles bcs i needed to draw smt moomin related after finishing the game or i would explode

[nounaarts]

I seriously forget I have a tumblr when I’m really active on twitter most of the time! Sorry guys ..!

I did do a bunch of Trolls art over there so if you wanna see that you can go to my twitter @ nouna_arts . Note tho, I rambled bout Trolls. A LOT

But I will show some of my recents here! (I did a lot more)

JUST A BUNCH OF MY ART ⬇️⬇️

BUT THE BRAINROT HAS UNFORTUNATELY ROTTED AND NOW MY MIND IS ALL SONIC AGAIN. curse you sonic prime,…

Anyways here’s my sonic doodles :3

I couldn’t put anymore images. Damn .but you get it😭