#hydroflax

[secretagentsagainstwhatever]

based Doctor who

[star-adventurxr]

Good evening

As the new season of taskmaster starts I’m just here to remind you’s all Greg Davies, the taskmaster himself… played an alien robot king with a detachable head and a cult like status in doctor who-

[thingsasbarcodes]

Doctor Who 9.X1 - The Husbands of River Song

[happilyhadesbound]

Today on the Doctor Who calendar...

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

look I'm sorry, I really am. but if you watch The Husbands of River Song and interpret that as being a definitive picture of what River is like as a person... you're wrong. and you've missed the point.

[jokerlennon]

isn't it insane how every single one of twelve's companions was at one point a part metal part human enemy of him

[achingly-shy]

okay now they’re chanting about hydroflasks

[makeithappenandreal]

If Donna stayed as the Doctor's companion Part 4 you guys!:

Donna: calling the Doctor your majesty for so long after what happened with Queen Elizabeth he is tempted to jump out of TARDIS*

-

Clara: I was told that this line was the best helpline in the universe

Doctor: *holds out TARDIS phone* Donna the phone is for you

_

Doctor: This is my last regeneration

Clara: Help him...

meanwhile Donna would be:

Donna: *pulls a chair to sit and stares at the Doctor intensely*

Donna: regenerate. *walks away*

Doctor: ok. *Regenerates*

Clara: what the h..

_

Clara: You have to kill Missy now or all this would be on you Doctor

Donna: Clara You can't just ask him to kill his situationship like that!

Donna: He turned emo last time he did that

Donna: I don't want the crossbrows moping on my floor while eating muffins

Donna: seriously just think of me before you say things like that

_

Doctor: *plays Killer Queen while looking at Donna at the old arena*

Donna: hey missy want a friend to travel with

_

River: *loves taking the TARDIS off when the Doctor is not inside but while Donna is so they can have escapades as she adores Donna*

Doctor throws a rant to Donna when he finds that out

Doctor: YOU WERE THERE WHEN SHE WED THE HYDROFLAX

Donna: Alright, listen she kinda wed to the diamond..

Doctor: OH BECAUSE THAT MAKES THINGS A LOT BETTER

_

Doctor: *gives the confession dial to sisterhood* you know who to give it to

Sisterhood of Karn has to do a mass voting to decide if he meant his platonic soulmate Donna or frenemy soulmate Missy because he does not clarify

[adventure-showdown]

What is your favourite Doctor Who story?

TOURNAMENT MASTERPOST

synopses and propaganda under the cut

Countrycide

Synopsis

Concerned that the space-time rift is spreading, Torchwood investigates a series of gruesome deaths located in a small village in the Brecon Beacons. What sort of creature could cause such shocking injuries? Stranded without communications or equipment and isolated from one another, the team confronts a terrifying enemy.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

The Husbands of River Song

Synopsis

The Twelfth Doctor is on the planet Mendorax Dellora in 5343, where he is asked by a man named Nardole to follow him, thinking he is a surgeon, on the orders of River Song. A surgeon is required to remove a diamond from the head of the tyrannical King Hydroflax. It became lodged there due to a ruthless act of thievery gone wrong, and River seeks to recover it. Surprised that River cannot identify his newest face, the Doctor struggles to break the news to her while learning how she acts on her own - and how many other lovers she has had. However, both he and River soon find that the time is drawing close for the last page in the diary of their journeys together to be written...

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

[seaweedstarshine]

*Poll inspired by typical ambiguity in the new audio story Victory of the Doctor, which on an unrelated note is amazing!

Evidence for each argument beneath the cut!

Open marriage

The Doctor's wedding to Marilyn Monroe occurs in A Christmas Carol, when he storms off to a chapel with lipstick marks on his face. “I’ll just go and get married then, shall I? See how you like that. Marilyn? Get your coat!”

While he wasn't yet with River then, he maintains this relationship afterwards, apparently with River involved. In the mini-episode Good Night, the Doctor enters the TARDIS with a euphonium, calling over his shoulder, “River! I’ll see you later! Tell Marilyn she’s too late, she’ll have to use the biplane. Take care!”

Another piece of evidence comes from The Wedding of River Song, when they're passive-aggressively flirting.

“Hallucinogenic lipstick. Works wonders on President Kennedy. And Cleopatra was a real pushover.” “I always thought so.” “She mentioned you.” “What did she say?” “Put down that gun.” “Did you?” “Eventually.” “Oh, they're flirting. Do I have to watch this?” (from Kovarian)

I've never understood the innuendo (please tell me what I'm missing), but Kovarian does, and as we know from The Husbands of River Song, the Doctor and River are both married to Cleopatra, so… it's definitely something.

There's also that diary page in The Eternity Clock game that suggests the Doctor, River, and Jim the Fish got blackout drunk at karaoke night and started “some sort of religion of love” which went on to last for centuries.

Serial cheaters

“How can you be engaged, in a manner of speaking?” The Doctor is jealous in Flesh and Stone before he's even kissed her, which doesn't set him up as a person who'd be interested in an open marriage.

“No, wait. That's your husband? That's who you're married to? Not anybody else?” In The Husbands of River Song, the Doctor is clearly not expecting the other husbands. Culminating in the same episode…

“So, King Hydroflax?” “Oh, how many times? I married the diamond!” “So you say.” “Elizabeth the First!” “Ramone!” “Marilyn Monroe!” “Stephen Fry!” “Cleopatra!” “Same thing!”

It appears he is well aware of her other spouses (and that she's aware of his); so perhaps his surprise was more that didn't expect her to be so flagrant about them. It makes him insecure (“I posed as his nurse. Took me a week.” “To fall in love?” “It's the easiest lie you can tell a man. They'll automatically believe any story they're the hero of.”) enough to start an argument about it.

River also expresses her jealousy as an obvious fact, as seen in The Day of the Doctor Novelization (written by Moffat who (along with Alex!!) knows the character best):

“Ow!” “Madame de Pompadour?” “Jealous?” “Of course I’m jealous. Keep your hands off her.”

In The Name of the Doctor, we learn that the Doctor, who has had a number of... sexually-charged moments with Clara (including, but not limited to, Victorian Clara), has avoided telling her that River is his wife. Vastra is uncomfortable with having to introduce them, having “gone a darker shade of green.”

“The Doctor might have mentioned me?” “Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, of course he has. Professor Song! Sorry, it's just I never realized you were a woman.” (from Clara)

Actually both

This could mean many things (i.e. open marriage with boundaries which are violated), but potentially, all the same evidence from prior arguments! With a shade of “Our lives are back to front.”

In the mini-episodes First Night/Last Night, when River, having burst into the TARDIS and pretended to faint, mistakes her past self for another woman the Doctor's hiding from her, she openly expresses jealousy.

“Doctor. Have you brought someone else here? Does anyone agree to wear that dress? Where is she!” “River, think it through!” “This happened the last time we were here. You brought someone else!” “No I didn’t!” “Yes you did, I heard you talking to her!”

However, when a third and significantly older version of River makes the same mistake, she no longer expresses jealousy, but rather curiosity, which could at least signal a shift in how she sees their marriage.

Maybe there was a conversation that happened. Maybe it slipped the Doctor's mind when he forgot Clara.

Actually neither

This could also mean multiple things, but one of those things is this. The Doctor is a widower from the start. Likewise, River is well aware of Doctor's death on Trenzalore, “of course River would know, she's always known,” having been raised to prevent those events, and having refused to be bound by that destiny.

How can fidelity be defined the same way for time travelers? Everyone's spouses are dead somewhen. River understands the paradox of her husband's existence better than anyone. To quote The Day of the Doctor Novelization yet again…

‘Because you live in a time machine. All of history is still happening outside those doors. On a good night that means everyone you ever met is still alive and you can’t wait to see them again. On a bad night, it means everyone’s dead, and you want to charge around the universe, pretending you can do something about that.’ She looked up at me. ‘I know which version of you I prefer.’ 

And there she was, so alive again. I remembered her, twisted, burnt and dead, in the depths of The Library. ‘What if there are people who died because of me?’ I asked. ‘What if there are people I should have saved?’

‘People die. All people, everywhere. We grieve and we move on. That is how we respect the dead. That is how we forgive ourselves in their presence and their absence.’

Please feel free to add anything I missed!

[theholmwoodfoundation]

With Dracula himself are we talking Humphrey from Ghosts or more King Hydroflax from Doctor Who vibes?

Definitely leaning towards King Hydroflax.

[scullysstrapblog]

Okay, hear me out. I think that 11, Amy and Rory met a post library River. Or at least post Husband's of River Song.

Why? You may ask.

Because of one piece of dialog from the Pandorica episodes.

"I dated an SD duplicate once.... swappable heads."

She's talking about Ramone and Nardole/Hydroflax.

Therefore, she either escaped The Library and is running around through time and space. OR... she had adventures during her time on Darilium.

But the way she says it: "ONCE," makes me think that she's talking about more than 24 years ago.

So I think, she escaped The Library. She had to have. But she also knew at the library that she couldn't give out 'Spoilers.'

So what did she do? She told the doctor about Darilium.

But how did she escape the library? Who helped her escape? Did she even need help?

But also, because she has to keep the timeline intact she acts like she's not from the future when Amy mentions the Weeping Angel's at the Bizantium. So she hops around and makes sure that things play out the way they're supposed to.

All of this makes me think that Amy, Rory and 11 had more adventures with a post library River.

So, this means, IF I'm right, that I need more Alex Kingston on DW. Like right now.

So in conclusion, 11, Amy and Rory met River after the Library in my headcanon.

[florida3exclamationpoints]

King Hydroflax? I married the diamond! So you say. Elizabeth the First! Ramone. Marilyn Monroe! Stephen Fry! CLEOPATRA! same thing.

[capaldiera]

watching return of doctor mysterio i forgot the doctor canonically cut nardole out of the hydroflax robot and made him a new body because he was scared to be lonely once river left/died

[nobleriver]

Based on a post I saw in the River Song tag I've come to the conclusion that, not for the first time, the world really is designed around restraining a woman's sexuality. But more importantly, it comes down to the whole world is pretty much designed around reigning women in. Abortion laws, grown women banning books because they see any little thing as "porn". Women being taught that it's their responsibility not to get raped. Men can sleep around cause they are guys etc. I love a good period piece or any time era where the couple is not looking outside their relationship for their sexual needs. Some of my favorite stories in fact. I also don't see a problem with River being just as in love with The Doctor without any of the relationships that have been brought to light in the show being condemned as source of tragic heartbreak to make sure we know that as a woman she can't possibly have enjoyed herself unless she was enjoying her sexuality inside and exclusively from her marriage.

Yeah I think I enjoy your insights that's why I keep writing to you.

Aw, thank you! I enjoy answering your questions. In this case, I agree with what that person wrote.

Do you remember the minisodes - First Night/Last Night - that showed the Doctor and River’s honeymoon? In those scenes, River confesses she believes the Doctor brought someone else on their honeymoon, not knowing the other women were actually future versions of her. That means for decades, since the beginning of their marriage, River has been convinced she was just one of many on her own wedding night, that the Doctor was with someone else. So no wonder she develops this open-ended approach to marriage, her heart was broken on her wedding night. It’s played off for laughs, but you see the real pain in THORS.

Fidelity, or the lack thereof, is an issue of character and psychology, not sexuality. I know plenty of people who love to have sex who would never step outside of their marriage or engage in sexual activity with anyone besides the one that they chose to commit themselves to for the rest of their life. Oh, I’m certain she was gratified physically, but it’s revealed in the same episode she was not satisfied emotionally. So I believe that person is correct to attribute her extra marital relations to her psychological state at the time. Especially because in the seven years we knew River, we had not seen or heard of her having other partners on the side. Her loyalty, love, and devotion to the Doctor has been one of the defining forces behind her character motivations since her introduction.

So if that’s her character, if being with the Doctor is her greatest desire (6.01), if loyalty is her core trait, then why is she suddenly being disloyal to the doctor behind his back in THORS? The doctor was surprised to find out Hydroflax was the husband in question: “That’s your husband? Not anyone else?” Ramone just added insult to injury. Though delivered in comedic form, the Doctor’s jealousy was front and center, and then, he becomes hurt. Where is the devotion? Where is the River he thought he knew? The one that would sacrifice time itself to save him? All of these extra marital relations are coming out of left field, blindsiding the audience, leaving the question: who is the real River?

But then, in the climatic scene, Moffat reveals River is in a state of pain. To believe your husband does not love you back is painful. That cannot be ignored. Though I wish Moffat had left it as a headcanon, I begrudgingly accept, for most of their marriage, River believed they were married in name only, that the Doctor did not love her back. Now it makes sense why this character who has been designated for years as one of the most loyal characters in the Doctor’s life is suddenly found in a position of disloyalty. That is a painful psychological state to subsist in for decades. One can’t put all that trauma in a bubble and think it has no influence on her sleeping with all these other people.

One also has to take into account River’s history. Like her mother, River has survived a lot of trauma. She suffered child abuse. She was trafficked as a child soldier. She dealt with a lot of neglect, torture, and abandonment. When it comes to people who have that kind of trauma, you can’t just casually love them; you have to be intentional with your acts and words of affection, so they can trust the love is real. You have to drill through all those years and layers of trauma and abuse. I love you. I love you. I love you. The Doctor didn’t drill all the way down, so he was inadvertently causing her further pain. She was falling deeply in love with him while believing he felt nothing for her because he wasn’t expressing his love in a way she could understand or trust.

But once the Doctor realizes what’s going on, he proceeds to shatter that misconception until nothing’s left: “Hello Sweetie.” “Not one living thing is worth you.” “There is a Song.” “24 years.” The fact she was able to be with the doctor for 24 years, that she was able to leave all those other relationships behind and it just be him and her, and River be at her most satisfied? That tells me all I need to know, that those relationships were symptoms of an unchecked broken heart in a woman who didn’t believe she was in a marriage that was real.

[carbondated]

❝ That´s my favourite sort of art, ❞ crimson stained lips drew back , exposing a toothy grin. ¨what, grim? disturbing? barking mad? ¨ She rolled her eyes at the assumption. ❝ The one´s that leave you with a visceral thrill. If art doesn´t terrify you a little then it´s positively boring in my opinion darling. Géricault understood that. But then the French love a good drama. ❞ Anita yawned, giving her a playful push." nah, give me a good Warhol any d....River, do you see that?¨

The holo-image shimmered, tiny ripples forming at the centre of the canvas that began to radiate outwards, off of the painting and onto the wall. Growing, ever growing and morphing the space it touched. In the blink of an eye the Raft of Medusa came to look more and more warped, lines blurring together, painted strokes becoming smatterings. ❝ Find CAL and the others, QUICKLY! ❞

On the eve of the 300th anniversary of the Library disaster, an unknown person/s? broke through the sealed defences and extracted the consciousnesses of Professor River Song from the database. The Vashta Nerada, having resorted to cannibalising to survive, had long since died out. As a result of CAL and the Doctor Moon´s intervention, the transfer was a disaster, deleting everyone in the process and rendering the Professor, her body transferred to a fresh doppleganger host, with a virus whose symptoms were not unlike selective amnesia.

The intruder, for reasons unknown, abandoned her before she awoke, leaving her utterly alone in her new life. Paranoia soon set in, and, believing that Madame Kovarian and the Silence may have played a terrible part in her apparent resurrection, River set off to the place where she had left her last ( AUDIO: The Furies ) her suspicions only deepened when she found Kovarian gone. With no clues to go on and no clear indication of her memories returning, River abandoned the search for her past.

Frustrated, alone, and still coming to terms with having been dead for three centuries, River focused her efforts on trying to move forward instead. During a 10 year period, she settled on several small planets, went through 16 different careers and an impressive 30 residences. Nothing stuck.

Soon after, by complete coincidence she found her way back to the final cluster and witnessed first hand the devastation that King Hydroflax´s presence had had on this sector of the galaxy some 12 years after his demise. With no apparent successor to claim the throne, she did the natural thing, and claimed it as his widow. It was an easy enough feat, war having devastated the galaxy, there were none left who would have known her previous incarnation. In healing the final cluster, she healed her own wounds too. but peace never lasts.

Many species converged on the galaxy, believing the truce had made them weak, cybermen, weeping angels, sontaran´s just to name a few, horde upon horde upon horde, never ending. By the year 5203 the final cluster had been utterly decimated. River herself appeared to have died again, her Halassi spaceship crashing off the west coast of Cering IV. She survived of course and after being stranded for 3 days, managed to infiltrate an enemy supply ship on it´s way back to base. Successfully commandeering the ship, it´s crew tied up in a cleaner´s closet, she instead landed on a nearby space station. The wounds she had acquired, coupled by the sheer mental will it took to make it out alive, left her gravelly ill. Unfamiliar with her genetic makeup, the station had her transferred to the sisters of the infinite schism.

The sisters healed not only her injured but worked their science and found a slow working antidote to the virus she suffered from. They urged her to revisit her past, assuring her that the memories would come back in time. She took their advice and after volunteering on a dig, fell back in love with Archaeology. With a mixture of doctored and very real credentials, she fast tracked her career and became the new head of the Antiquities department at Luna University precisely 5 months after her previous incarnation disappeared on the Library expedition.