#i accidentally lost the first draft and had to do it again and I Am Not Mad

[ravcnism]

STRIKEOUT. ( PART 2 ) — KEN SATO x Male!Athlete READER

Summary: An after-party. A conversation-turned-confrontation. Kenji finally meets the esteemed Toyo Bullet and struggles to define the difference between anger, terror, and infatuation.

# # TAGS: Even More Tension, Kenji Has a Good Relationship with His Team, Intense First Encounter, Domestic Sato Family Shenanigans

# # WARNINGS: Mature Language, Alcohol Consumption, Nothing Too Crazy, No Beta Again We Die Like Onda

Note: Okay, here we go: the actual second part. Again, I am so sorry for accidentally publishing my draft earlier — I am ill with embarrassment. But I’m very happy to know that people look forward to it! If you read the false-post, then you’ve only read half of the chapter. This one has over 3000 words more! Enjoy.

“It was a nail-biter of a game here at the New Tokyo stadium tonight, folks. Right off the bat, both teams were going neck and neck, toe-to-toe. And it seemed like neither one was willing to give an inch! Our home team managed to pull off a narrow victory in the end, and by narrow, I mean narrow, Kiba.”

“That is absolutely right, Sasaki. I truly have never seen anything like it in my entire career. And you know- you know I know a lot of baseball. You know I’ve been doing this for many years, but wow! Just- insane.”

“Truly a close call. Eight additional innings? To break the tie? I cannot believe it. Let me tell you, neither the Hiroshima Toyo Carp nor the Yomiuri Giants wanted to lose today.”

“If you look at the crowd, It looks like everyone’s been wanting to go home.”

Exhausted was an understatement. Kenji hadn’t felt this drained after a game since, well, only months ago: when he was still juggling the responsibilities of raising a baby Kaiju, carrying the weight of being Ultraman, and maintaining his reputation as a well-known baseball player. All of these, on top of the sleepless nights, no longer hindered him from his work. He usually left the stadium feeling brand new every single time — regardless of whether they won or lost. He had grown and learned to lean on people, to ask for help, accept defeat. Which was good and all that, but the point was: he was exhausted from this game. You had him panting for air like an overworked dog.

Shimura had Kenji on the field for longer than he should have been. While his younger, more egotistical self might have loved his moment in the spotlight, running base to base for six innings in a row was unsurprisingly really tiring. The teams had hit a clean tie by the ninth inning, and the tie-breaker lasted for eight more. You were eating their rookies alive and having their journeymen for dessert. When Shimura realized that Sato was the only one batting your pitches, he had him play for every round after the tie. The only times Kenji wasn’t on the field was when you weren’t either. Which wasn’t a lot. It scared him how you looked like you could throw that ball for days.

“Hiroshima’s L/n is just- an absolute unit, isn’t he?”

“He certainly is, Kiba. He certainly is. I mean his performance was near inhuman tonight. Each pitch was a gem and we- he really wanted us to know that he’s here, he’s ready, and he’s willing to change Japanese baseball. He was a major force out there on the field.”

“I cannot agree with you more. But credit where credit is due, we all know that the only reason the Giants are coming home with tonight’s win is because of none other than Ken Sato himself.”

“That’s right, Sato really put up a fight. L/n was throwing him off balance every time, but he always found his footing. I think tonight might have been the hardest I’ve seen him work. You know he- he usually makes his plays look effortless — disregarding last season’s slump.”

“I say he held his own very, very impressively. The team was right to rely on him. I know we’ve spoken a lot about their tension, but I’d say it’s their dynamic that really drove the point home. They were like- mirrors of each other out there. When you put two equal forces together, they deflect. You know what I’m saying?”

Kenji’s hand shook with a weakness he wasn’t familiar with. He stared at his calloused palm and noticed his fingers twitching. Shit. It really was some game. He might have been hitting the ball, but he was barely getting it through the field. Not only were your pitches fast, but there was weight to them, too. He was witnessing the caliber of your capabilities; understanding why you were the talk of every city.

The rest of the Giants came walking into the locker room, jeering and laughing amongst themselves. “That L/n is a real piece of work, ain't he?” Shirakumo, number 24, sat himself next to Kenji, unlacing his shoe. “Never seen anything like it.”

“Did you see the look on Tateoka’s face?” Yuki laughed, smacking his thigh. “Dude was scared shitless!”

“Hey!” Tateoka frowned in reply, tugging his jersey off his arms. “You try standing in front of that guy and telling me you don't feel a little threatened.” He shuddered, remembering the look in your eyes. Dark and pointed and menacing. “He was staring me down like he was gonna—”

“Eat you alive?” Kenji scoffed.

The team went silent, then erupted into a cluster of teasing ‘oooh’s. God. It reminded him of highschool.

“Oohh, yeah.” Yamada, number 21, slid over to him with a teasing tone. He wrapped an arm around Kenji’s shoulder and squeezed him closer. “I don't think I've ever seen Sato so shaken!”

He laughed, playfully pushing him away. He was also actually really sore on that shoulder. Hell, he could already feel the pain he’d need to go through just to get up tomorrow. He was going to need another ice bath. The rest of the boys jumped in on the jokes.

“Did you see the way he was looking at you Ken?” Tokuda opened his locker, grabbing a shirt from the top shelf. He whistled. “Like he wanted your head on a plate.”

Tanaka chuckled. “He wanted you dead, man!”

Kenji rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright. Let's not get carried away. I never said I was shaken.”

“But that last bat was sweet as hell.” Yuki nodded. “I doubt any of us would've gotten through the guy if it weren't for Sato.”

“Well, duh.” Shirakumo shrugged. None of the Giants denied it. Ken was their star player. And tonight proved it more than ever. “We owe you for drinks, bud. Give us a date and we'll treat ya’ to someplace you like.” He slapped Ken’s back affectionately, which elicited a pained groan. “Shit, sorry.”

Kenji’s watch started beeping. He flinched at the sound, eyes widening slightly. “Uh, see you in a sec, guys. I gotta take this.”

He was there a moment, then gone the next. Kenji rushed himself out the hallways and into an empty locker room to answer Mina’s call. “Hey!” he greeted, anxiously. A screen projected itself from his watch and lit up his face. “Hey. Hi. What's wrong? Everyone alright? I know I said I'd be home soon, but the game took way longer than–”

He was interrupted by cheering. His father clapped and whooped with excitement as Emi occupied the background, screeching with glee. Kenji could see the ground shaking as she was jumping around and doing her special dance. One of Mina’s arms was protruding from the wall and waving celebratory flags. It immediately put a smile on his face, easing the tension from his shoulders. He was always happy to see everyone alright, and even happier to see them as their silly selves.

“Kenji!” cheered Hayao. “That was an incredible game! You were unstoppable!” The professor chuckled. Emi picked him up into a hug, slightly toppling the camera over. His legs swung like a ragdoll’s. “Okay, okay girl-”

Ken laughed, slightly shaking his head. “Easy, Emi. Put Grandpa down.”

“It was a very impressive game, Ken. Perhaps one of your bests.” Mina’s calculative yet affectionate voice echoed from his watch.

Hayao fell to the floor with an ‘oof’. “You didn't tell me you were playing against THEE Mets’ Bullet!” He scrambled to stand up, barely leaning on his cane. “I wasn’t even aware that he was signed into the Carp!”

Kenji’s smile immediately faded. “Okay.” He rolled his eyes. “He was alright, I guess. And we don’t actually know if he signed into it or if he was traded. We barely heard anything about him from the press.”

“Alright?” Professor Sato gasped, appalled. “Kenji, he was spectacular! He’s a lot like you, you know. I’ve always suspected that the both of you equalled in skill, but to see it in action? Phew.” He wiped some pretend sweat off of his forehead. “What a show! Eight extra innings to break a tie? Unbelievable! I highly doubt that he was traded. Who in their right mind would purposely lose a player like that?”

Kenji scoffed. “He wasn’t that good.” His sore limbs would like to say otherwise.

“He had you chasing after his pitches like a dog!”

“I don’t like that analogy.”

“I ought’ to rewatch that documentary they made about him. You know they’ve done studies on the physics of his throws.”

“Dad.”

“And how fortunate for Hiroshima to have gotten him out of all teams! I can tell that this season is going to turn around really fast. Just today he’s already scored-”

“Dad!”

“Oh. Sorry.” Hayao chuckled. “I’m just very excited to see the both of you on the same field.” Kenji sighed, nodding his head. “Anyway, congratulations on the win, my boy. I’m so proud of you. I always am. Get home safe. It may be late, but we still have a lot of leftovers from dinner!” Emi made a noise that let him know she was waiting, too.

Going home sounded like heaven. Ken wanted nothing more but to rest. Maybe kick back and have a chocolate shake while he and his family watched cartoons to fall asleep. It was the perfect way to end his night. It had been an unexpectedly long day and he looked forward to tomorrow’s well-earned break. Eight extra innings might even win him a second day of rest. Or a third, if Shimura agreed not to schedule him for the next game. Which, he doubted, if it meant you’d be playing.

“I’m on my way.” He ended the call, and opted to take the fastest way out, desperate to avoid the press.

Ken collapsed onto the floor, snuggling into Emi’s arm. Having washed up and eaten his dinner, he felt the last remains of his adrenaline-fueled strength die out like a dwindling flame. He felt as if his limbs were about to fall off. “Ugh,” he groaned. “I’m going to be so sore tomorrow.” Emi didn’t much care. She seemed to be preoccupied by the new ( gigantic ) stacking blocks that Mina made for her. Ken sighed, sinking deeper into her arm. “She always smells so good after her baths.” The baby Kaiju’s warm and heavy grasp felt like a weighted blanket. It was a comfort that Ken would find nowhere else.

Professor Sato walked past them, chuckling into his coffee mug. “That, she does. You should have seen her earlier, you know. I’ve never seen her so invested in a game.”

Kenji hummed. “Is that right?” He rolled onto his stomach, facing Emi. “Hey. Baby.” He poked her cheek. “Is that true? Did you cheer for Daddy? I bet you did.” Giving into his cuteness aggression he rubbed at her cheeks. Emi expressed her annoyance through a small squeak. “God, that mean old Bullet had Daddy running laps, didn’t he? We hate him, don’t we?” Kenji pushed her cheeks up and down, leading her into a nod. “Yes we dooo.”

Professor Sato laughed. “Whatever happened to sportsmanship?”

“Whatever happened to loyalty?” He pouted. “My own father, rooting against me. I would never root against you, Emi.” Wanting to return to her blocks, Emi lifted Kenji up by his torso and placed him on her head. The batter laughed, laying on her with no protest.

“What!” The professor exclaimed. “I never said I was rooting against you. I was just— feeling enthusiastic, that’s all. For both teams.”

Mina entered the room, her mechanisms humming faintly. “Good evening, everyone.” The Sato’s greeted her accordingly. “I have a message for Ken.”

The mentioned Ken slumped into his daughter, rolling his eyes. “Here we go. I bet it’s the press.” He scoffed. “Let me guess, at least 30 emails asking for my statement. Or, better yet, it’s Shimura warning me not to miss the next game.” He raised his fist, mocking a reporter’s tone: “We’ve witnessed baseball history tonight, folks! Blah, blah, blah.”

“Actually, it’s an invitation for something else.” Mina hovered closer. “An event.”

This caught his attention. Kenji tilted his head. “For what?”

“A party, hosted by various sponsors.”

“Bit too early for an afterparty, don’t you think?” Ken sighed, resting his head on folded arms. “We’ve only won one game.”

“I suppose it’s to celebrate Mr. L/n as well.” Mina would shrug if she had the shoulders to do so. “His coming to Japan is quite a big deal.”

“Great.” Kenji was half-asleep by then, eyes already closed. “All the more reason for me not to go.” The professor had settled himself onto one of the desks, getting into some light reading. Emi had grown tired herself, and decided that she was not interested in the blocks anymore. Waddling to her spot, (with Kenji still on her head), she yawned, and opted for some much-needed sleep.

Mina’s light blinked. “I think you should go, Ken.”

The rightfielder cracked one eye open. “And why would I do that?”

“I think it would benefit you to interact with Mr. L/n more.”

“Mina, that’s literally the last thing I want.”

“Is it?”

Ken frowned. “What do you mean, ‘is it’? Of course it is.”

“Your vitals seemed to say otherwise earlier.”

Kenji scoffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I was keeping careful watch of your vitals, as I always do. I have your daily status tracked and recorded.”

Kenji couldn't get rid of Mina’s voice in his head. Even amidst the warm crowd, with chatter swaying smoothly atop of light r&b music, he felt as if he could still hear her words ringing in the back of his mind. It remained vivid, though she had told it to him days ago. It was as clear as day. Like a broken record.

“Believe it or not, the heart beats differently for every emotion. There is a difference between fear, anxiety, excitement, and—”

Kenji stared at you from across the room, watching as you conversed with your team, nursing a glass of cold, hard whiskey. He watched as you bowed your head and smiled, listening for the faint, muffled sound of your laughter. He wondered what you were talking about; what joke might have made you grin that hard. He wondered why you seemed to illuminate a room, and why everyone seemed so drawn. His eyes were caught in the way the colorful lights sank into your hair.

“—Infatuation.”

You looked up, and your eyes met his. Kenji flinched. He felt his heart skip a beat. Shit, he thought. Mina was definitely going to catch that. She had probably already marked it down to tease him for it later. You held his gaze for longer than he could have standed and greeted him with that same annoying wink. The same one you gave him on the field. Confident, snarky, playful. You lifted your glass and took a sip, eyes still trained on his.

“What you may perceive as frustration for him might just be the opposite.”

Kenji's jaw clenched. Mina had no idea what she was talking about.

And he would prove her wrong tonight.

Like a soldier marching into battle, he waded through the party to make his way towards you. Was he intimidated? Yes. Unfortunately, he was. But he knew his way around a crowd, and his weapon-of-a-tongue knew all the right talk to make a conversation work. He was sociable like that. He was a poet, a wordsmith. If you weren't careful, one little exchange could have you wrapped around his finger. Some people called it his charisma, some blamed it on his irresistible good looks. Either way, Ken took it. He wasn't going to deny the fact that people loved talking to him — though he, admittedly, didn't really like talking to them in return. But he could do it. He could make it work.

Besides, how bad could you be?

With a newfound confidence, Ken dared to get closer. The distance between you and him lessened, and– oh, fuck, was that your cologne? He blinked. You smelled so good. Why did you smell so good? “Hey. Hi.” Shit. Abort mission. No, it's too late. Too awkward to back out. You were already looking at him. “L/n, yeah?” He spoke your name like he only just remembered you upon seeing you. When in truth, he hadn't stopped thinking about you since that damn first pitch. “Some game, huh?” Ken held his hand out for you to shake. ‘Fuck, I hope he doesn't notice how clammy it is.’

“Ken Sato.” It was the first time he heard your voice, as well as the first time he heard you say his name. He didn't like how his body reacted. There was a small shiver down his spine, a tingling flutter in his chest. You took his hand. Yours was cold. So cold. Kenji concluded that the icy glass of whiskey you had placed on the counter was to blame. He could feel your callouses against his. Your hands mirrored one another, marked with the battlescars of your sport. He was oddly sensitive to every detail. Touching you was.. a sensation.

You gave him a firm shake before promptly letting go.

“That's me,” he said, miraculously. Ken was oscillating between panic and confidence at a speed that likely wasn't normal. He was holding his own, though. Like the real champ he was. It was surreal to be standing in front of you without a ball to keep you apart. No bat, no competition. Just you, and a few shots of alcohol. “You adjusting into Japan alright?”

“As well as I can.” You shrugged. You had a tone to you; an elegant air of grace and self-assurance. You had no need to raise your voice because you knew he'd do his best to listen. It was pissing him off. “It's definitely different from the States.”

“I gotta say, I'm pretty surprised to see you here.” Ken usually knew what to say when it came to conversations. He never blanked out at interviews, nor left dead air hanging at conferences. But speaking with you made him feel like his vocabulary was on a limit. “After a game like that?” He whistled. “A lesser man would've taken a week off.”

“But we're not lesser men, are we, Ken?” A waitress passed by. Without the need to look, you had grabbed two shots of vodka from her tray. You handed the other one to him. “That's why you're here, too.”

He stared at you, brows furrowed slightly. “Exactly.” He took the shot from your hand and bumped the rim against yours. “Cheers.”

You grinned. “Cheers.”

Kenji tilted his head back, downing his drink, tasting the fire run down his throat. His face screwed up a little, but not enough for you to notice. You did the same, sighing the heat out of your nose. You allowed a small laugh to slip past your lips. “Japan’s liquor is surprisingly stronger.”

Kenji chuckled. “Yeah. If you know where to look.” The music felt like it was growing louder. He leaned in to speak to you better. “You know, I can't believe this is the first time we're meeting.”

You nodded. “Neither can I.”

“The Mets and Dodgers have always been at each other's throats, and yet—”

“Our schedules just never lined up.” You scoffed. “What are the odds of that, huh?”

It really was such a coincidence. If Ken had known that your interactions would've fired the press up as much as it did now, he would've fought to face you sooner. “When was it?” He snapped his fingers, trying to remember. “Playoffs. 2019, I think. The Mets were set to face the Dodgers.”

“2019,” you repeated, brows raised. “I was there.” Kenji took notice of the way your head slightly shifted to the side. Like you were trying to get a better look at him. He swallowed thickly. “I was there.” You shrugged. “You weren't.”

“I was overseas.” He was wanting another drink. But, speaking to you was surprisingly not horrible. “Didn't get back until 3 months in. And when I did—”

“I wasn't there,” you chuckled. “Alright. I remember. 2019, I was gone for half the season. Injury.”

“The world was in shambles.” Ken grinned at you. A second waiter passed by. He grabbed you another glass of whiskey. He took scotch for himself. “See what I mean? It's like– divine intervention.”

“Big word.” To say that fate had a hand to play in yours and his meeting was beyond your beliefs. You didn't place your trust in things like that. But to know that he had thought about it was charming.

“Hey.” Ken shrugged. “Ya’ never know.”

The music shifted, and so did the lights. There was a moment of quiet between the both of you, and in that time, you found a common interest in people-watching. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, nor the absence of something to talk about. The two of you merely agreed upon the minutes it took to watch the party unfold. A good number of the guests were already drunk. The dance floor was alight and occupied mostly by women. Ken rested his weight on one foot, sighing at his still-aching muscles. He wondered if you were any sore too.

“They love it, don't they?” You leaned your back against the counter, arms crossed over your chest. Ken took quick notice of the necklace worn loosely around your neck. A silver dogtag, similar to his. “The drama. The intensity. Even the things that go on beyond the field.”

Ken shrugged. “It's baseball. Who doesn't?”

“Exactly.” You smiled. “Which is why it's important to always let the home team win the first game.”

It took a moment for Kenji to process what you said. He was distracted by the colorful lights, his favorite song coming on, and a tray full of hors d'oeuvres. “Mhm.” He reached over to take one, before— “Wait.” His brows knitted together. “I'm sorry, what?”

“Hm?” You had your lips pressed together into a thin line. Your expression feigned innocence, a stark contrast to your bold statement. “I said it's important to let the home team win the first game.”

Kenji made a sound between a scoff and a laugh. He couldn't believe his ears. Had he been standing by the speakers for too long? “No, I heard what you said. What I'm asking is what you're saying.” It was a dare of a reply, with a tone that commanded: go on. Clarify.

Your smile refused to leave your face. Nearing the batter, ever so carefully, you whispered:

“I'm saying you won because I let you.”

Kenji blinked.

And there it was. He knew you were too good to be true. Goddammit, he knew it! Beneath your seemingly-perfect self was something cold and rotten and he called it. He fucking called it. How thrilled he was to be correct, and oh, how utterly terrified.

But this was good. This was absolutely good. He needed something to hold onto, something to keep himself afloat. The next time he found himself drowning in your eyes again, he'd only need to remember that you were a grade A asshole. That you had the audacity to claim that you were in full control of the game. Surely it would solve all his problems.

Kenji broke out into a laugh. It started out as a small cluster of sarcastic chuckles, but erupted into actual laughter. You were funny. So, so funny. Unbeknownst him, you were watching with amusement. “Because you let me!” Kenji repeated, smiling, but, exasperated. Two can play at that game. “Right. Of course. Totally not because you're an average pitcher and I can bat anything you throw.”

“If that helps you sleep at night.” You shrugged. Your attention wasn't on him anymore. You were watching the crowd, disinterested.

Kenji felt his eye twitch. “That's big talk coming from someone who got struck out by a rookie.” He was referring to the eighth inning, when Tateoka managed to bat your pitch into a homerun.

“That's right, Sato.” You laughed, low and sultry. “Batted by a rookie. How could I have struck you out at the last inning but be batted by a rookie?” You tilted your head at him, brows knitted together. You spoke in a sickeningly soft tone. Like you were helping a toddler understand something simple. “Doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, does it?”

Kenji was growing flustered. His face was warm and his fist was itching to meet your cheek. Nobody spoke to him this way. Sure guys had been mean to him before, but it was mostly because they were threatened by him. They'd tried to put him down and pick apart his flaws, but what you were doing was something different. You weren't claiming that he was weak, you were claiming that you were stronger. You didn't deny the amount of talent that Ken had in his body, but you were fully convinced that you had more. You were bigger, smarter, and better. And you had him under your control.

“Oh, c’mon. Seriously?” God, your voice. It infuriated him. It drove him insane. You leaned in, closer, whispering your words, as if hearing you through the party wasn't hard enough. He could smell the whiskey on your breath. It mingled with your cologne. It was intoxicating. “Are you blushing?”

He scoffed in disbelief. “No.” Except he totally was. He could feel the heat radiating off of his face. His breathing had gone shallow, his heartbeat rapid. “Why would I– Tch. You— You don't know what you're talking about.” Holy shit. He was a mess.

He wanted so desperately to blame it on the alcohol, but he knew damn well he wasn't drunk enough to be acting the way he was. He was stumbling over his words stone-cold sober.

You were smiling. He was dying, and you were smiling. “You amuse me, Sato.”

Ken took a cautious step back, knowing that being that close to you for too long was only going to make him worse. “Who the hell do you think you are, huh?” He had to retaliate somehow. Like a soldier fumbling for his sword, he had to get up and do something. “You don't think I don't know what this is? Where you're heading?”

You tilted your head. “Do enlighten me.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Sure. Celebrity-Athlete from America waltzes into Japan thinking he's the shit— that he can rule the world. He's a shiny new toy and everyone's just dying to catch a look. Nevermind that his old team traded him off, nevermind that he goes home to an empty penthouse. He's got the stats to prove his skills and he thinks he doesn't need anything else.” Ken dared to retake a step forward. He sort of regretted it when you didn't take a step back. “Well, guess what,” he continued. “I've been where you are. I know how you feel, what you're thinking.

Everything you're trying to be is a shadow of what I already was.”

There was a beat of silence. You weren't smiling anymore. You were staring at him, stone-faced, seemingly indifferent.

Kenji narrowed his eyes. “So don't go talking to me like you're any better.”

He didn't know what to expect. You were quiet for such a long time that he thought you were going to snap. He partially expected a punch to the chin. But you were calm. There wasn't a trace of irritation on your face. Instead, you set your glass of whiskey — now empty — on the counter behind you. With a sigh, you shoved a hand in your pocket. “Are you done?”

Kenji blinked.

“Let me tell you something, Sato.” You raised a brow at him. Ken felt his heartbeat pick up again. Your once-approachable gaze shifted into something cold and commanding. He swallowed thickly. “There is a difference between you and me. And that difference is the fact that I don't settle.”

Kenji was glaring at you, brows fixed together.

A teammate called you from the other side of the room. You nodded at him, once, then returned your focus to the Yomiuri Prince. You placed a hand on his shoulder, tauntingly, smiling at him as if you'd known him your whole life. “I hope last season’s slump accustomed you to the feeling of losing those points.”

Kenji wanted to say something, but his lips refused to move. Somehow, the blaring music in the background had faded into a muffled blur. All he could hear was your voice. Like a moth to a flame.

You winked at him. Again. And like before, his body reacted in ways he didn't like. You squeezed his shoulder once, before leaving to go to your friend. With your back turned against him, Kenji released the breath he didn't realize he was holding. He clutched his chest, watching wide-eyed as you moved through the crowd. He could still smell your cologne. The last thing he heard from you was,

“I'll see you on the field.”

taglist: @fairy-lenaa @moonjellyfishie @witchygod — Thank you for your patience!

[scarletcomalies]

treacherous

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word count: 6,994

A/N: Hey! I received an anonymous request, but I accidentally deleted the draft where I directly responded it. The request said pretty much what says in the synopsis. Thanks to whoever sent it, made me happy <3! I hope you like it.

A/N II: Also, it’s 3:27 AM and I wrote this half asleep whilst listening Red TV three times in a row.

Warnings: Unspecified legal age gap (Natasha is older), mention of guns, shooting, manipulation (from a father), intrafamiliar abuse, trust issues.

Natasha Romanoff struggled with trust issues due to past relationships. Her fear of being hurt overshadowed any chance to open herself up to the possibility of a relationship. That was, of course, until she met you.

Hydra was a group of evil masterminds with a mission to take over the world, employing advanced technology and weapons to achieve said objective.

It hurt you too much to even think about the fact that you were part of it all, for ever since you were incredibly young, you were the victim of experiments and ruthless training to basically turn you into another of their deadly weapons.

You were just a little one, desperate to get your adoptive father's approval, and deep down, you still were, despite the fact that you were a young adult now. However, no matter how hard you tried, he always seemed disappointed in you, and you were willing to do anything to make him proud.

That's what you thought, of course, until you couldn't take it anymore. So much spilled blood, uncountable innocent lives lost, all in the name of greed and evil. You switched sides, and betrayed the organization you once called home.

You didn't know how many hours you spent hiding in one of the lockers from the Hydra facility that was attacked by the Avengers, while you listened to the tragedy happen outside this cold little compartment. You were supposed to be the main counter-attacker, and you were expected to kill at least one of them in order for the others to back off for a few months.

However, it was too much. As you fought them, the dilemma you found yourself in was too much to bear; you wanted to make your adoptive father proud, but you also wanted them to win because you repudiated every aspect that made up the twisted organization which you were unfortunately a part of.

So, as you walked down the corridors to attack one of them, you simply stopped dead in your tracks and went to hide instead. Until you heard nothing, only a silence that was somehow deafening, while intrigue kept eating you out - had good won over evil again?

When you kicked the door of the locker so you could get out, the first sight you encountered was the Black Widow, who got startled when she saw you and immediately pointed a gun at you. Your first instinct was to raise your arms.

Your face was streaked with tears, for you had sobbed desperately, fearing what your father would do when he found out you had failed this mission, but you were also drowning in shame for your actions.

And you didn't need to say anything, Natasha knew everything as soon as she saw you in that disconsolate and defeated state. You didn't want to do any of this, you desperately wanted to be good.

The Avengers welcomed you with open arms, and as you stood beside them, fighting for what was right, you finally felt you were part of a family, where your efforts were seen and appreciated, something you never felt with Hydra.

"I know these brutal injuries are a little bit of a scratch for you, but..."

"But it worries you when I go on missions that involve more than big men fighting me," Natasha finished the sentence before you could, a huge grin plastered from ear to ear.

You just chuckled, as you carefully worked to heal those terrible wounds on her face, product of a more complex mission than usual.

"Come on! Who knows if that creature that hurt you might give you some disease from the outer-space microbes it had in its claws. It could get infected and you could start a new pandemic, you know?" You half-joked.ñ

Natasha let out a loud laugh, that could be perhaps be heard all over facility.

"Well, look on the bright side, maybe I'll get to be the one to name it," she chuckled, and she flinched subsequently, her wounds hurt due to her smiling-facial expression.

"Silly!" You playfully nudged her shoulder with your fist, as you kept smiling enormously. "Jokes aside, please promise me you'll keep those wounds clean. You'll apply this," you showed her a small container of antiseptic soap, "And after that, you must apply this as well," you showed her a spray of alcohol.

She never told you this at first, but she appreciated enormously that you cared for her in this way, and that, on top of that, you were always willing to look after her as if she wasn't used to risking her life in all sorts of places.

The older woman nodded and laughed a little. "Of course, I'll make sure to clean the wounds and apply those, it's not too bad really. Don't worry yourself, okay?" She smiled kindly and warmly at you.

"Perfect... I'll let you off, then," you replied, with a grin. "Go get some rest, and I'll see you again when..." you paused. "I'll see you again," you affirmed this time.

You didn't know when you would see her again.

You had a very simple mission, so simple that you didn't need to go out and take risks as you normally did. You just needed to find information, leak some documents, hack into certain bases, and you could do it all from the comfort of the Avengers Tower. You were almost done when Natasha returned from her mission with the rest of the Avengers, and you insisted in helping her with all those wounds she had in her face, which again, were not something new for any of you, but still... you hated to see her even in the slightest discomfort. And just like on the other times, she refused to receive your help, but eventually gave in.

Outside of coincidences like these and the missions you had together, you didn't convive with her. And you missed her more than you could admit.

It was a strange feeling. You both got along well... excellent, to tell the truth, and you liked each other's company. However, that was no different than your relationship with the other Avengers, even so, Natasha Romanoff was the only one whose presence you longed more than usual whenever you were apart.

"Sure, I'll see you again," she nodded, as she rose from the seat she was in, and patted your shoulder affectionately.

This was always the way goodbyes were, and you couldn't lie, it hurt a little bit to realize that you didn't have a relationship with her outside of work. That was to be expected, many years of knowing her teammates didn't compare to a couple of months of knowing you, but you had to start somewhere, right?

That day, Natasha did as you told her and rested in her room of the Tower, and you, on the other hand, returned to the solitude of your apartment, watched a few episodes of your favorite series and waited to be summoned again on another occasion.

Said occasion was about a week later, and amidst the catastrophe that ensued, the taste of victory for having done well never ceased to leave you with a feeling of accomplishment.

It was even better than the others, since it was a mission against the organization you had unwillingly dedicated your life to serving. And this time, you were on the right side.

Your eyes watered a little. And Natasha didn't say it at first either, but she was the first to notice it because she used to watch you more than she would like to admit.

"Oh, sweetheart, what's wrong?" She asked you, turning to you with a concerned expression on her face. "Don't tell me you regretted joining us, because I'm going to hit you," she joked, and there you realized that was a habit of hers, for the purpose of lightening the mood.

And she succeeded, because you laughed, "Quite the opposite. I'm so happy to find myself on this side and to be able to make up even a little bit for all the bad I did," you confessed.

She let out a little 'Awww' and proceeded to hug you.

It felt like... like home. And maybe your home wasn't the kindest to you, so it was more like you found a new place where you could feel warm and comfortable.

It felt like a shelter from the world's harshness, and that you were at last somewhere you belonged. The embrace was gentle and firm at the same time, somehow it was a combination that could go well altogether, and it was as if every little thing that had ever hurt you was washed away by the love in that hug.

She stayed that way for as long as you needed. And later, at the Avengers Tower, everyone asked you if you were all right, and when they made sure you were calmer, they left to their respective rooms, but not before giving you words of affirmation telling you how valuable you were and what a priceless job you had done on the mission.

And after that little moment of closeness you had with Natasha, two days passed when you saw her again.

You were not specifically summoned for a mission, rather, Tony Stark needed your help to develop a new artificial intelligence prototype that would assist Peter Parker. The only difference was that Tony wanted her to ask him about his feelings and get concerned for his well-being, almost like a therapist or a mother would.

There had been maybe four or five opportunities where you had the pleasure of demonstrating your mental abilities, which were numerous.

Of course at Hydra they weren't going to raise you to be physically astute, they needed to train you mentally as well, and sure as hell they did. Because, maybe it would take Tony Stark more than four or five tasks to trust someone, but you completed them so efficiently, that very little was enough for him to be impressed and take you into consideration for this field as well.

About seven hours had passed, where you were discussing and employing the famous "trial and error", when Natasha came to interrupt. Tony wasn't too happy about it, but you were delighted.

"It turned out like shit," she concluded. She had a little dirt on her suit and her face was scarred with small injuries, but these weren't man-made, they were more like falls. "The target had already left the base by the time we got there, and took everything. All we did was kill the guards for nothing, no objective."

Tony took a deep breath, leaning back in his seat. For him, if there was anything worse than interruptions, it was interruptions for bad news.

"That's the third time in a row they've had us looking like idiots playing Tag," he snorted. "We'll figure out what to do. We did what we could."

Natasha was not at all pleased with his answer, as she wanted an immediate solution, and for her, the worst thing that could happen was to fail in something as simple as attacking a Hydra base.

"That's it?" She exclaimed, and at Tony's lack of response, she let out a groan and with giant strides, she left the room.

You ran after her, caring very little if she yelled at you to leave her alone. You wanted to at least make an attempt to be there for her.

"Nat!" You called out to her. "Nat, come on!"

She stopped, and turned to look at you, "What do you want?"

Now thar you were close to her, you noticed how fresh the small wounds on her face looked, and you would soon set out to help her with that, but the support she needed the most was the emotional kind.

"There's this place near Willow Lake," you laughed at her mild surprise. "I know, it's a bit far from here, but we can grab a bite to eat, take a walk down to the lake afterwards... you don't have to talk if you don't want to, I just want to offer you this little method of escape that has helped me in my darkest days."

There was no power on earth that would make her turn down such an offer, not only because this would be the first time she would be spending time with you outside of missions and work, but because it really sounded like a plan that would help her tremendously in all that stress she was going through.

After Natasha took a shower and changed, she went to find you in the room where you were working with Tony, who gave you a grateful smile before you left.

The drive there was long, and neither of you said much more than small talk, but it was extremely comfortable at the same time, with Taylor Swift's music playing on the car's speakers.

With this alone, she seemed more relaxed as she remained in the passenger seat. It was clear that the unsuccessful mission was eating her mind, but by having a moment to think about it, she gradually lightened up. She was very grateful that you gave her space and didn't try to distract her.

As soon as you guys got out of the car, the first thing you could feel was how pure the air was in that area, and how uncrowded it was compared to the noisy city. With that alone, Natasha understood why you brought her there, it was a peaceful and perfect place to think.

"Do you like it?" You asked, and if the redhead hadn't been too invested taking in her surroundings, she would have noticed that you were in turn, completely dumbfounded watching her..

"I love it," she nodded, with a huge smile, and proceeded to close her eyes and take a deep breath to enjoy the air.

When you entered the small cafe, you ordered a panini and a soda, and encouraged Natasha to order whatever she wanted, it would be your treat. Neither of you had eaten and it was already four in the afternoon, so you couldn't wait for the food to arrive.

You didn't ask her anything about it, and you didn't bring the subject up, you just waited patiently for her to speak first. And she did so about five minutes after she ordered.

"I feel better already," she said. "Maybe Tony's approach wasn't the best, but he's right, we'll find a way, in the meantime, we did what we could."

You smiled.

"We'll find a way to come out of this victoriously. Believe me when I tell you that they no longer have any threats and all they have left is to run. We'll find a way to corner them," you encouraged her, almost sensing firsthand how frustrated she might have felt earlier.

She nodded in agreement, "We have to come up with a plan," she replied. "I've already given a lot of thought to it, and I think right now, what I want to do is enjoy this moment with you, because, you do realize this is our first outing together?"

You did realize, and you couldn't begin to express how much you looked forward to this moment. While the conversations during missions or at the Tower were enough for you to grow fond of each other, there was always work involved.

"You're right. I wouldn't have wanted to wait this long, but I understand you're busy, and, I wasn't sure if you were in the mood to go out during your rest time."

She chuckled at the comment, "Oh, no! I like going out. And look, maybe I am busy, but you might just be worth dropping everything for... you know, once in a while!"

You reacted with a small and subtle giggle, feeling even more charmed and flattered by her.

"I must say, it's an honor to potentially be worth dropping everything for, even once in a while," you responded lightheartedly.

The food arrived just in time, and you both exchanged a look of acknowledgement at how good it looked.

"Well, bon appétit," she smiled, and didn't wait five seconds to start devouring her lunch.

You both ate in silence, very focused on enjoying the food as it was already too late after the regular lunch hour. You were starving.

When you finished your meal, you talked about banal topics to get to know each other better, such as favorite books, movies and series, hobbies, the music you enjoyed the most and whether you preferred summer or winter. It was a nice chat, where you both found a lot of common ground and were introduced to new possibilities, because let's say you left that restaurant with at least twenty songs to listen to, ten books to read and five movies and series to check out.

It was until you left the restaurant and walked to the lake that the conversation deepened. She asked you about your past, and although you didn't spill those details so easily, you ended up telling her even more than your closest friends knew. Natasha was just that kind of person.

And when Natasha shared her story with you, that was the most painful, deepest and perhaps most precious aspect that you shared — that intrinsic feeling that impelled you to abandon all evil sown in your hearts.

You were so immersed in conversation, that it seemed like in five minutes the sky went dark when in reality it had been about three hours straight.

From then on, whenever your free times coincided, you made the most of it. You made it a regular part of your lives, would always make plans for upcoming meet-ups and, naturally, your relationship slowly started to grow and deepen over time as a result.

You started to appreciate the little details that shaped Natasha, from her stunning smile to her sweet laugh, from her thoughtful glances to her kind words. It was like a flame had been lit inside of you, eventually growing into a roaring blaze that could not be tamed. You were slowly and deeply falling in love with her, there was no denying it anymore.

"Nat, I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do, but you leave me no choice," you said, as soon as you pulled a +4 card as a last resource. Your only cards remaining were two red ones and of course you would decide said color as the next.

Natasha let out a gasp of surprise, and shook her head.

"How could you?" She exclaimed, and with much indignation, took the four cards.

"I choose red," you stated, very indifferent to her reaction.

She checked the cards she had taken, and the red card she placed, was one that would prevent you from your turn, and then, she placed a red one with a number on it.

With a victorious smile, you shouted "UNO" as you placed the second to last card you had left. And to your bad luck, Natasha didn't have one of the same color, but she did have a blue one with the same number.

"Excuse me, you were saying?" She replied, in a mocking tone.

It was your turn to gasp in surprise.

"Natalia, you monster!" You exclaimed. "My devious scheme has been disrupted, and I have been bested. I expected this from everyone, but you?" You said in an over-dramatic tone, placing your hands on your chest, as if you had been stabbed.

You two were cross-legged playing UNO on Natasha's bed, having watched a couple of movies and ordered food. You had been playing for maybe an hour and a half now, and this last round was no different than the previous ones, since you were always looking for ways to trick and betray each other in this little game. Until, Natasha finally won.

"Ahhh! This was a tough one!" You commented, collecting the cards from the pile and sorting them. As you were doing this, you noticed something under Natasha's leg, sticking out slightly. "But of course, it was honest play, wasn't it? It would be a shame if you cheated."

She snorted, "Yes, honesty first and foremost, I agree," she acted innocent. You did your best to hold your laughter.

"Hey, since you're closer, would you mind getting up and handing me my phone?" You pointed to your phone, which was charging in her bedside table.

"You get up, lazy!" She teased, making you gasp in surprise.

"Well, I may be lazy, but I'm no cheater!" You exclaimed, pointing to the card under her leg.

"Oh, whaaaaat?! How did this even get here?!" She said, making her voice a little higher pitched and feigning surprise.

You couldn't help it and laughed loudly.

"Oh, come on, Nat!" You answered. "We're resuming this game, now!"

Luckily, you caught on to her trick before you rearranged the cards, and you hadn't yet touched hers and yours.

"Give me that card," you ordered her, and at that, she didn't let you have it and kept moving the card just out of your reach.

You suddenly realized you've leaned forward to try and grab at the card, and you accidentally ended up on top of her, with her lying on her back underneath you.

The world around you faded into the background, leaving only the two of you exchanging a few shy looks and smiles, acknowledging the position you were in, feeling a little nervous and uncertain about it.

The pounding of your heart was racing a million beats per second, its rhythm matching the rapid pace of your thoughts. Your cheeks flushed with warmth whilst you embraced the profound effect she had on you.

And after a while, you summoned all your courage and made the first move. You leaned in, closing the distance between you and Natasha. In that intimate moment, your lips gently met hers, softly and tenderly.

However, the thrill of the moment was replaced with confusion and disappointment when Natasha pulled away.

"I can't," her words hung in the air.

You reluctantly drew back, giving her the space she needed, and you searched her eyes, longing to find the reason behind her hesitance, but all you could see was a glimpse of regret and shame.

It was as if she carried a secret, a secret that prevented her from fully embracing the moment, despite the chemistry you thought there was between you both. Or maybe you got lost in translation, maybe she simply didn’t share your feelings.

"I'm sorry," you apologized, your voice breaking. "I didn't mean to overstep. I misunderstood."

"Please, just go," Natasha's expression remained resolute.

Her words felt like a cold-hearted stab in your chest, leaving you at a loss for what to say or do. Nevertheless, you decided to respect her boundaries, honoring her wish to be left alone.

With a heavy heart, you nodded, gathering your things. Subsequently, you whispered another "I’m sorry" as you started to walk away.

The taste of that stolen kiss lingered on your lips for a long time, as a reminder of the brief, tantalizing ephemeral glance of something that could have been.

In the meantime, you only hoped that someday, the circumstances would align, allowing both of you to talk it out and move on.

That happened when you were contacted for another mission. With the help of the advanced technology and scientific knowledge that the Tower counted with, everyone contributed to analyze the data collected.

Each member expressed their concerns, ideas and proposals for the next step to take. Natasha, in particular, treated you with incredible disdain and professionalism, leaving everyone around you surprised. It was as if she created a barrier between you both, as if she barely recognized your presence now. There was no trace of shame or shyness on her face, unlike you, who struggled to even hold eye contact with her.

Finally, the meeting concluded. As the team prepared to disperse, the opportunity to talk to Natasha presented itself. The others began to head out, leaving the two of you alone in the room. This was the moment you had been waiting for.

"Nat, can we talk?" You gently drew her attention as she evaluated the information presented in the screens.

She turned to look at you, and then nodded. It was a small gesture, but it gave you the reassurance you needed to proceed.

"I… just want to apologize," you began. "For what happened before, for misunderstanding and crossing a line that should’ve never been. I never meant to make you uncomfortable."

Her gaze softened, and she sighed, "It's not entirely your fault," she reassured you. "I should have been clearer. It's just… I have a lot of conflicts in my mind, it’s complicated."

You nodded, understanding that there was more to her story than you were told, "I want you to know that I treasure our connection, whatever it may be," you confessed, your sincerity present in every single world. "And if there's anything you're willing to share, I'm here to listen."

There was a brief pause as Natasha contemplated her response, but as the minutes passed, she felt more and more comfortable with sharing her past experiences with relationships, and how they caused her to struggle with trust issues.

"Nat, I’m going to be honest, I can't erase the mistakes of others, but I swear to you, I'm not here for just a fleeting encounter. And I’m willing to earn your trust, if you give me the opportunity."

"It's hard for me to believe that," she admitted. "But at the same time, there's something about you that makes me want to give you that opportunity, despite my reservations. It’s complicated, as I said."

In that precious moment, your feelings swirled together - joy, relief, and gratitude. You had been given a chance, an opportunity to show Natasha that your love for her could prevail over the scars of the past.

Ever since, every date you planned with her was a thoughtful gesture, meticulously adapted to her preferences as you were eager to give your best to create cherished memories. From intimate dinners at her favorite restaurants to adventurous outings exploring new places, your attention to the small details that made her happy did not go unnoticed, because she appreciated the genuine effort you put into making her feel seen and loved. She also appreciated that you never pressed her for more than she was ready to give.

You provided a safe space where she could open up at her own pace. Naturally, time went on, and Natasha began to let her guard down in your presence.

Until, one —ironically— rainy night, your phone buzzed discreetly. You glanced down and read the words from your adoptive father, that were capable of disturbing your peace within seconds…

"I hope our deal still stands, and that you didn't actually move to the Avengers' side."

Unbeknownst to you, Natasha could perfectly read the message, her expression shifting from serenity to one of concern and anger. In an instant, the world seemed to hold its breath.

Time slowed as Natasha's eyes found yours, and the depth of her pain and distrust pierced through every fiber of your being. The delicate thread of trust that had been formed between you threatened to break under the weight of betrayal.

"What is this, (Y/N)?" She asked as her voice trembled. "Have you been playing both sides all along?!"

Before you could even respond, Natasha's eyes glazed over and she proceeded to rise abruptly from her seat to leave the restaurant where you were having dinner. Little did you care and you placed a hundred dollar bill that would cover both of your consumption plus a generous tip.

Afterwards, you ran out of the place to follow her. The first thing you felt was an overwhelming cold and the rain soaking you.

"Nat, please believe me," you pleaded. "I never wanted any of this. My loyalty lies with you and the Avengers."

"Yes, yes. I've heard that story a thousand times, and I didn't like the ending," she replied.

"Nat...—"

"I don't want to hear you!" She shouted suddenly, startling you. "You expect me to believe your empty words? I thought you were different, but I see now that you're just like everyone… no, you’re worst, way worst."

The rain that drenched you seemed insignificant compared to the icy chill that her words settled within you, making the ache in your chest unbereable.

"No, Nat, please," you begged desperately, your voice being interrupted by occasional sobs. "Let’s get inside and talk, I’ll explain you everything. I love you."

She shuddered as if your words had hurt her even more. The pain in her eyes reflected the storm that ravaged her soul.

"Love? Is that what you call it?" Her voice exuded bitterness as she lashed out, determined to protect herself from further pain. "You have a funny way of showing it. Actions speak louder than empty declarations."

Her words crushed you completely, as the rain mixed with your tears.

As Natasha turned, her silhouette blurred by the rain, you eventually felt too weak to even be standing, and you kneeled in the pavement, feeling your entire body twist in pain and regret.

"Natasha, my love, please don't leave," you sobbed. "Nat… don’t leave,” you whispered this time.

But she was gone, swallowed up by the darkness and the pouring rain. And you were right where she left you drenched and devastated, unable to understand how everything could fall apart so quickly.

Your mission as an infiltrator within the Avengers was the following: to steal a valuable possession and to disrupt their missions, weakening their defenses and providing Hydra a strategic advantage.

You proposed to your adoptive father the tip of the iceberg of your original plan. You told him you would deceive everyone, in order to gain their trust and position yourself as Hydra's eyes within the mighty Avengers' Tower.

However, your true motives remained hidden. Little did he know that you yearned for a chance to redeem yourself from the shadows of your past. You genuinely wanted to make a connection with the Avengers, to join their ranks and fight for the greater good.

At first, you walked a tightrope, subtly sabotaging the Avengers' efforts against Hydra to maintain your adoptive father's trust, so he would not proceed against you or your teammates. But as time went on, you stopped even doing that, and instead, made excuses to prevent suspicion that you didn't align with Hydra's twisted ideals. And that message he sent you during your date with Natasha couldn't have been more inopportune.

Days turned into weeks, and the weight of loneliness suffocated any hint of hope that remained, because as expected, you heard nothing from Natasha, or any of the Avengers for that matter. All those friendships, laughs, trust… shattered into a thousand pieces by a message that didn't represent you at all.

You even began to consider packing your belongings and escape to another country to start from scratch. Your stupid choices held you captive, and the desire to break free consumed you.

In the midst of this overwhelming despair, you received a message from your adoptive father.

"Fine, if that’s how you want to play, then so be it. If you don't bring something valuable to us TODAY, she will suffer. We have her."

The message cut through your being like a searing blade, slashing through the delicate fabric of your soul. There was no hiding what you have done, and a life was held hostage, a life intertwined with your own.

As if the threat wasn't enough, he continued…

"Also, if you call the Avengers, we'll know, and she'll die painfully before they even get there. Steal something like I raised you to do. No tricks this time."

You felt the air rushing out from your lungs, as fear gripped your heart mercilessly. The mere thought of your beloved enduring torment struck you with agony, and there was no doubt that you would protect her at all costs.

In the midst of your despair, a plan began to take shape. You would infiltrate into the Avengers' Tower and steal the highly advanced AI system you and Tony initially designed for Peter Parker.

It seemed like the perfect key to Natasha’s safety, and to meet your adoptive father’s demands. Hydra's capabilities would be significantly amplified with it.

Your exile also translated into losing access to everything you used to come and go. In consequence, using your years of training, reflected through skills and expertise, you successfully manipulated the electronic locks and bypassed the intricate security measures.

Finally, you stood before the AI, and with a steady hand, you carefully detached the system, making sure not to leave a trace of your presence. The stolen AI system nestled securely in your possession, and therefore, Natasha would be safe and sound in no time.

You headed to the place you were ordered to, and it was conveniently apart from the city, being a former abandoned factory.

You knew that Natasha was extremely dangerous and strong, therefore you couldn't stop thinking of the position she must have been in so that they managed to get her with no problem.

Once there, you took the suitcase containing AI Karen's chip and made your way towards the meeting point. You noticed that there were about ten guards guarding the area, and one of them checked if you didn't have a weapon.

As soon as the door slightly opened, you kicked it hard and entered the place.

You saw Natasha immobilized with smart handcuffs restraining on her wrists and ankles, but when you ran towards her, you were stopped by the man you most repudiated on the face of this earth.

"Hey, easy," he said mockingly. "Let's talk business."

Your eyes glazed over, as you felt your heart ache at the sight in front of you. There was nothing you wanted more than to hug her and reassure her that you would do everything in your power to save her. But in order to accomplish that, you had to obey what was being asked of you.

"This is what I got," you began after letting out a long sigh. "It is similar to the artificial intelligence that Tony Stark has in his suit, and I participated in its development," you continued. "It has various databases and security protocols that would facilitate the acquisition of classified information, allowing Hydra to infiltrate sensitive networks and manipulate events to suit its agenda. It can also analyze patterns, anticipate trends, and adjust strategies accordingly. It would make an incredible asset for global domination."

After giving him a quick demonstration, your adoptive father smiled wickedly and patted your shoulder.

"Oh, I'm so proud of you," he exclaimed, and perhaps your self of many years ago would have rejoiced at those words, but now that you knew the price you had to pay to hear those words, you realize that they are not worth all the suffering, and never were.

"Let Natasha Romanoff go, father," you commanded with your jaw clenched.

His laughter echoed through the dimly lit factory. His eyes bore into yours, devoid of any warmth or compassion, as he reveled in his victory.

"Let her go," he scoffed, his voice filled with disdain. "Why would I release her when I finally have you exactly where I want you?"

A surge of anger coursed through you, fueling a fire that burned fiercely within your chest.

"No," you declared firmly. "You should know by now that Natasha means more to me than any twisted ideology you spew."

Your adoptive father's eyes burned with fury. In that moment, you realized that your defiance had destroyed his illusion of control.

"After everything I have done for you? Don't you see? This is your purpose, your destiny!" He countered.

"That’s your purpose for me, as your puppet," you corrected. "My purpose is not to spread chaos and destruction. It's to protect the people I love and make amends for the wrongs I've done. And guess what? That’s what I’m doing."

"Ah, so the great (Y/N) has grown soft and weak in the arms of Natasha. I knew allowing emotions into your heart would be your downfall," he sneered, with an air of disappointment. "You were meant to be a weapon in our hands, an asset for the future of this organization," he added.

"… and I would rather be 'soft' in the eyes of Hydra than hardened and devoid of humanity like you," you stated. "I may have been created by Hydra, but I am not defined by them. I choose my own path, and it's one that leads away from your darkness."

He took a deep breath, characteristic of when he already lost his patience. You knew it so well, and it never failed to frighten you.

He stepped closer, his menacing presence closing in around you, "I raised you to be better, so you have one last chance," he hissed, handing you a gun. "You end Natasha Romanoff's life, or I will do it myself. And trust me, my methods are far more agonizing than a quick death."

You trembled, feeling your heart suffocating, your mind finding its way of reminding you of the laughter you shared, the tender moments, the unbreakable bond between you and Natasha. But at the same time, you knew what your adoptive father was capable of, and it filled you with dread.

There were no other options, no escape from the cruel fate that awaited her if you refused. With tears welling in your eyes, you whispered your surrender. "Fine. I'll do it."

When Natasha heard the words escape your trembling lips, her eyes widened in disbelief, and her features contorted in a mixture of shock and heartbreak.

The knot in your stomach tightened, constricting your breath and making it difficult to think clearly. Your palms grew clammy, sweat trickling down your forehead as your heart pounded in your chest.

You cautiously approached Natasha. Every step felt like an eternity, the deafening thud echoing in your ears. When you were close enough, you saw the beads of sweat glistening on her forehead, her muscles straining against the unyielding bonds that sought to confine her. It was a testament to her resilience, her unyielding spirit that refused to be broken.

In the end, this was you, a deadly weapon raised to make these kinds of actions. What was one more kill? Your entire life had been shaped by the manipulations and training of your adoptive father, molding you into a merciless instrument of his will and the will of the company he worked for.

You raised the gun, as the metal felt cold and unforgiving in your sweaty hands. And then, as if guided by an invisible force, your finger began to tighten around the trigger.

You made the last choice, the choice that would determine the path of your future and, ultimately, save both yourself and Natasha. There was no other way out.

With a determination that burned bright within you, you aimed at your objective. So, when your finger curled around the trigger, a deafening shotgun erupted in the room, shattering the suffocating silence.

In that instant, your adoptive father's body crumpled to the ground, unconscious and defeated. His presence, once so menacing and dominant, now lay broken, a mere shadow of the authority he once commanded.

Natasha's body jerked in a sudden startle when she heard the shotgun, and her eyes clenched shut, as if shielding herself from the inevitable horror that awaited her. Every muscle in her body tensed, bracing for the impact, but then, a familiar voice made itself present.

"Open your eyes, darling, it's over," you uttered, your voice trembling with the shock of what had just transpired.

Slowly, Natasha's eyes fluttered open. The room came into focus, and as her gaze fell upon you, the realization of what you did hit her immediately.

You then reached for the small monitor that was in your adoptive father’s pocket and unlocked the restraints that held Natasha captive. She carefully removed the tape on her mouth.

Her eyes glistened with shed tears as she threw herself into your arms, her body trembling against yours. The resentment and doubt she once had towards you seemed to dissolve in that moment whilst she held onto you as if her life depended on it.

"I thought I lost you," she whispered, her voice choked with tears and vulnerability.

You held her tightly, your own emotions spilling all over, "I'm here, Nat. This is me. This has always been me."

Her lips trembled, and she pressed them against yours, and in that single, stolen moment, the world around you ceased to exist. Time stood still as your lips met, fueled by a yearning that transcended mere physical desire. It was a fusion of souls, a merging of two hearts that had endured unimaginable pain and now reveled in the sweet taste of redemption.

"I love you," she whispered between kisses.

"I love you too," you murmured, and how unmatched was the feeling of being able to say it when there was no hint of uncertainty on the other side. "And as long as you allow me, I will do my best to keep showing it to you."

After securing the AI and taking down all the guards that prowled the place, you both emerged from the abandoned factory. Although the scars of the event would forever mark your souls, you knew that you had emerged stronger than ever.

Together, you would forge a new path, rewriting the narratives that had threatened to tear you apart, and embracing the love that had always been destined to bring you back together.

This was the accomplished mission that you both were most proud of. Especially because, in addition to having shared years of experiences, adventures, and everlasting memories, it was only a matter of time before you also shared the "Romanoff" last name.

[meichenxi]

Hanzi update (+accidental trauma talk)

tw illness, trauma, vomiting, weight loss, recovery. I didn't plan to write about this but because of what happened in the last year I can't really write about how I studied Chinese without talking about it. so. but it's mainly about hanzi lol

I've been learning how to write traditional characters with the vague idea that I'd go and study in Taiwan, and also that if I want to write Classical Chinese or Japanese they're far more useful - but the program I want to go to Taiwan for requires HSK7, which I DO not think I can achieve and have the results of before March. Who knows! Perhaps within me lies untold brilliance and dedication!!

...well, I wouldn't rely on it. (I am also busy with a job, a partner, studying an A-level course to begin tutoring it in September, and writing the second draft of my novel.)

And even if I ended up going to Taiwan with my absolutely fantastic HSK7, there's no way I could handwrite all of those words within a year. If I learn 10 characters a day, that's like 3650 characters in a year, but realistically that will never happen - and you still have to actually remember them.

I also know from my last experience where I learnt a stupid amount of characters very quickly (about 800 in two weeks) that I can technically do it, I have a very large swollen brain, but then the brain, being very large and very swollen, promptly burns out. And leaves me to not do any Chinese again for like two months. So basically - completely pointless, because after those two months of rest I had forgotten most of them anyway. I will not be doing that again.

This time around I have been slowly, very slowly, learning things on Skritter. I have about 400 characters so far. I'm not doing words but doing characters, which is a bit slower, but I figure it'll be more useful in the long run. After I have the first 1000, I'm planning to then systematically go through the HSK and TOCFL lists and check I know how to put characters together and which 'jing' is used in 'yijing' etc.

This approach is only really going to work because I know a lot of vocabulary and can read a lot of stuff already - otherwise I wouldn't recommend to anybody without that backbone of vocabulary to just learn random isolated characters, unless you're masochistic or much harder-core than I am.

As I have said in a lot of posts before, I had a very difficult experience in China last August and have basically taken an entire year off studying because in all honesty I just couldn't bring myself to face the language again. Every time I tried I had this crazy grief and nightmares and stress response. What I went through was so stressful that during those two months in China that I lost seven kilograms, as I couldn't eat much without vomiting it back up due to stress and fear, didn't sleep, and ended up having to leave for Thailand pretty severely malnutritioned - which then made me susceptible to illnesses there and I spent the next two months after with awful health, vomiting and weak and generally sick. Luckily I was with friends and I gained the weight again and my period and digestive system sorted itself out.

And I never expected that a language itself could carry trauma? Like. Nobody died, it wasn't like that, I wasn't abused or assaulted or anything but still...for just under a year, every time I spoke or heard or read Chinese I couldn't help thinking of those two months. Even now it's still hard. I'm finding my way back to it but, to be honest, I didn't expect how hard it would be. I thought I could just - move past it, because I'd already had so many great experiences in China and Taiwan and with Chinese, that they would cancel each other out or at least be aided by the huge amounts of love that the language has shown me. Alas, it was not the case.

Anyway. All of that to say - I have only managed to do about 400 characters in a year, because I essentially gave up studying completely.

Now I've just finished reviewing and re-remembering those 400 characters on Skritter, so I'm ready to start again! I don't know what's changed, I guess just time - I feel more positive, I feel curious and interested about the language again. I don't know. I'm not going to question it too deeply. But for these past two weeks, I've been having a lot of fun :)

I'll update everyone on my progress as I go! Next post - 500.

[queenofsimpsblog]

believe me - shuri x reader pt 2

HCEWUGCFYUEWG so my dumbass accidentally deleted the 2nd draft, so i had to rewrite this bad boy MULTIPLE TIMES to make it absolutely perfect for you guys, cuz everyone loved pt 1 so much i just knew i had to make pt 2 as perfect as possible WARNINGS: mentions of drowning, fight scenes, gets a little graphic towards the end, pure fluff ending here are all the accounts that asked for a pt 2 (sorry if i missed a few): @shurislover @taiiunknown @sinsikoxo @mysticalmarss @lilroachsworld @angelsmist @ogbells16 @youralphawolf72 @6-noir @awolfcsworld @adeola-the-explorer @shuriszn @kya-rose @minionslikeppl @anonassbjtch @miguenza @dovesbeauty @yamsthoughts @k3nn3dyxo honorary mention to @locoforshuri WHO HAS IGNORED ME FOR SO LONG SMH LIKE BITCH ARE YOU ALIVE?! ARE YOU DEAD?! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF YOU IGNORE ME LIL SHIT?! YOU GOT OTHER HOES OR SMTH?! I THOUGHT WE HAD SMTH SPECIAL ok i'm done with my lil rage outburst, y'all have fun reading this <3

"what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

*20 minutes ago*

"oh please. you're just jealous that i love maya and not you," shuri spat out. you were too upset to deal with the way her comment stung your heart, so you chugged the remainder of your drink and left the booth.

shuri shut her eyes and sighed in annoyance. she regretted her words the instant they left her mouth. she wanted to get up and look for you, but your body was lost in the dancing crowd.

she downed her scotch, still feeling thirsty. shuri was feeling out of sync the entire day. she felt parched, hungry, nauseous, irritated. it wasn't her period, no. it was something else.

she stayed at her seat, drinking shot after shot. one of the downsides to being the black panther was an incredibly fast metabolic rate. in layman terms, she couldn't get drunk that easily.

she stayed at her seat, staring at her hands. thinking of you. missing you. feeling guilty for what she said.

just then, her kimoyo beads buzzed. an SOS message from you. the alcohol instantly evaporated as she saw the alert. shuri got up from her seat, using her panther vision to locate riri at the bar, talking to the waitress who flirted with her earlier.

***

(lil smth for the fight scene)

"what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

you turned from your seat to look at maya, standing at the door frame, looking angry, and a tad bit scared.

"me? what's all this?! who the fuck are you, and why are you here?!"

"that's none of your business."

"excuse me?! oh fuck this. i'm showing shuri all of this, right the fuck now," you waved your phone at her smugly. maya reached ahead for it but you blocked her hand with your other arm, throwing her against the bookshelf, knocking a few heavy books down that hit her on the head. you took that as your chance and made a run for it.

while running, you opened your sling bag and put your phone inside, zipping it up and putting the sling around your shoulder to make sure the phone wouldn't fall down anywhere.

the sound of bullets being fired gave you an extra push to make you run faster. just then, maya switched to a different weapon. it sent a thick string of black slime that got hold of your foot and yanked you down. she then changed the setting to withdraw the slime, pulling your body to her so that she wouldn't have to run after you. she used a weapon that you designed against you. unbelievable. while that was happening, you took off an earring and hurriedly sent an SOS signal to the first contact that popped up, and threw your earring aside.

your body was being violently dragged towards maya, and when you were close enough, she made a move to get your purse. you punched her in the nose and pushed her head aside, giving you enough space to get up and a break for it again. that's when maya drove a knife in your thigh. you yelled in pain, as you tried to move. but maya was one step ahead. she took a white cloth and put it over your mouth. at that point, you realised that fighting against her was futile. in your final moments of consciousness, you took off your bracelet and threw it down before passing out.

maya smirked, proud at herself as she dragged your body to a secluded corner of the floor. drops of blood from your thigh marked her path. a large, potted plant stood there. she kicked it down, and pressed a button on the side, revealing a secret tunnel opening. she carelessly threw your body down the tunnel and gave you a slight push, following you afterwards.

***

"yeah, well, that's how i learned using a blowtorch to reheat a grilled cheese sandwich was a bad idea," riri spoke and the waitress laughed, smiling profusely.

they looked cute together, and shuri hated to interrupt the moment. but if the message wasn't an accident, and your life was actually at stake, then she knew that she had to do something about it.

"riri! i need your help to find y/n,"

"why don't you just track her with those beads?"

"it says she's right at the club, which doesn't make sense because i can't see her anywhere,"

the waitress interrupted their conversation. "if y/n is the type of person to trespass, you might want to check the third floor. she might've gotten too drunk and gone there by accident,"

riri smiled at the woman and thanked her for the suggestion, taking shuri's hand to lead her to the elevator.

"wait a minute, wasn't y/n supposed to be with you the entire time? why'd she leave?"

shuri sighed, angry at herself. she told riri what happened, causing the american to frown at her.

"dude, what the fuck?! that was totally uncalled for. y/n was just tryna help you. and besides, the rejection hurt her already. you didn't need to bring it up again,"

shuri stayed quiet. she knew what she did was wrong. but the constant hammering in her head robbed her of the ability to think properly.

the elevator door opened and they walked around, hoping to find you. the atmosphere was sinister. both women could tell that something bad happened there. riri looked at her friend. "i'll check the right side, you check the lift," shuri nodded silently and walked away, carefully assessing the scene. her feet led her to the very secluded room you found before, and she was more than shocked when she found everything.

the stalker board. the computer with wakanda's security secrets. it was all so overwhelming. what hit her hard was when she saw this one symbol on this piece of paper.

it was at if it put her in some sort of trance. memories flashed through her mind. the symbol was of the french embassy. she remembered seeing it when she first saw maya.

only when maya first introduced herself, she didn't go by that name. she said something else, but shuri couldn't remember. it was as if someone drugged her.

was that possible? was someone brave enough to drug the protector of wakanda? her thoughts were interrupted when she heard riri yell for her.

"shuri! i found something!!"

she ran towards riri's voice, and stopped when she saw the girl hold something in her hands.

"it's y/n's earring. she dropped it. do you think it's some sort of clue?" riri asked. shuri looked at the piece of jewelry to be sure. yes. it was yours. her gaze went down to the drops of blood on the floor, trailing off elsewhere. she gestured to it. riri got the message. both of them silently trailed the path of blood until it stopped and a knocked down plant.

shuri went closer to get a better look, and found the button. slightly hesitant, she pushed it, and the secret door opened up. both women looked at each other.

"you think that's where she went?" riri spoke as she looked around the tunnel.

shuri spotted the black bracelet on the floor and picked it up. "this bracelet belongs to y/n. i bought this for her last year. i think she dropped it on purpose. you were right. she's leaving clues for us,"

"but where does this tunnel lead to?"

the black panther lifted her kimoyo beads up. "griot. scan this opening, please. tell me where it leads to,"

"just one moment, panther," griot stayed quiet for a few seconds. "it appears to lead to a cave, your majesty. it's hidden quite well, deep within the ground. i sense some water bodies nearby. i believe it is somewhere near the river border,"

"okay, well, we're going after her," riri started removing her jewelry, getting ready to fight whoever tried to harm you.

"one moment, miss williams. i believe entering through the same opening may be a foolish choice, as you would land right in front of the enemy. there is another entrance to the cave. but you need to be able to hold your breath to use it."

"griot, do you have access to any security footage here?"

"my apologies, panther, but there are no surveillance cameras here. maya had them removed once she bought club purple,"

shuri groaned in frustration. "alright. send me the coordinates for the second opening. alert okoye and the dora milaje. get them on standby. i'm getting my girl back,"

shuri and riri sped their way back to the palace so that shuri could get her suit. riri changed into a bulletproof tracksuit she made for herself a couple years ago. they couldn't go save you in their club outfits, could they?!

while the royal talon fighter sped its way to the second entrance to the secret tunnel, riri asked her friend what she found on the other side of the hallway.

"maya... that's not her real name. y/n was right. she was using me. there was something off about her. i should've listened. this is all my fault," shuri dragged a hand on her face as riri rubbed her back.

"don't worry. we'll find her. she's gonna be okay. but wait, what did you say about maya? that ain't her real name?"

"i don't know, my memory is being weird. i somehow cannot recall what happened the day i met her. how we ended up dating. it's as if--"

"as if you were drugged?" riri finished the sentence. suddenly, everything clicked. shuri remembered everything, and blurted all of it out to riri.

***

you woke up. jittery, confused. taking a look at your surroundings, you realised that maya had you captured. you were tied to a wooden chair, and you seemed to be stuck in some sort of cave. there was a table in front of you, with a small black rectangular object. it looked like a taser, but you weren't quite sure. the wound on your leg was bandaged up. but who bandaged you in the first place?

"rise and shine, you little bitch," maya's voice loomed from behind you. she walked around to face you, and you sneered at the sight.

"oh i knew there was something off about you,"

"oh, yes, you clever girl," you noticed the change in her accent. initially, she spoke in an american accent. then, it changed to a french accent.

you raised an eyebrow. "french? what are you, a spy or something?"

she let out a sinister laugh. "well, yes. you could say that. i suppose since i'm about to kill you, i can tell you who i really am," well, there it was. maya's truth. what you'd been waiting for.

"my real name isn't maya. it's roberts. gabrielle roberts. i work for the french embassy, and was sent here to gain intel on wakanda and their military facilities. to get that close, i needed to get into the palace. and what better way than to seduce the queen?"

you laughed mockingly. "bullshit. shuri would've seen that coming a mile away,"

gabrielle sighed. "yes, you're right. she did. she was very skeptical of me when she first met me. i tried seducing her the old fashioned way, but she was entrapped by another woman. you, i believe."

"huh? excuse me??"

"did you not know? it's so obvious. i had to spend some time spying on shuri before i could approach her. she's in love with you."

you weren't buying it. you spent a decent 2 months telling yourself that shuri never wanted you that way and never will. and you refused to believe the word of a woman who lied about her identity to everyone.

"if she was so in love with me, then how did you bag her in the first place?"

"oh. simple. i drugged her."

"YOU WHAT?!"

"ah, relax. nothing too serious. although i had to keep giving her large doses for the drug to work. that lady's metabolism never takes a break,"

the strength of the black panther. shuri's body could break down complex chemicals within moments, so gabrielle had to continuously drug shuri to make sure she could still stay close to her, to gather all the intel she needed.

fortunately, she hadn't given shuri a single dose in over 6 hours, which was enough for the effects of the drug to completely wear off.

"so if you needed shuri for the intel, why'd you bring me here?"

"because, for the final part of my plan, i need to get access to the weaponry database. and as far as my research goes, you're the only one who can crack the code which will give me access to those records. so," she dragged your chair to the table and opened up a laptop in front of you.

"do it."

"do what?"

"open up those records. or i will blow your brains out," she shoved a gun to your head. you looked at gabrielle with wary eyes.

"dude, how stupid are you? how do you expect me to use a laptop if my fucking hands are tied behind my back?!" gabrielle sighed and moved to untie you. your wrist was swollen and bruised.

"i can't do it. my hand is busted. and besides, there's an encrypted code protecting foreign users from entering the database. it'll take months to break through it,"

"i don't have TIME for this!" gabrielle's voice echoed through the walls of the cave. she grabbed the taser and brought it to your abdomen, burning you with the current. silent tears ran down your cheeks. you couldn't die like this.

"i give you five minutes. figure it out, or i'll open that latch on the floor and flood the place. you have a fear of water, don't you? ah, it'll be hilarious watching you drown," with that, gabrielle walked away.

you started hyperventilating. things weren't looking so great for you. you weren't lying when you said the encrypted code would take months to break through. hell, it took nearly a year to make it that secure! you looked around the cave, trying to find a way to escape, to break through. the latch down opened up to water, but you had no idea how long you'd have to hold your breath until you'd reach the shore.

you left shuri some clues. the SOS message, the jewelry, the blood. you hoped that she'd find those.

ah, who am i kidding? she doesn't love me, she'll never love me. and now, i'm gonna die alone. why? cause i'm a paranoid bitch.

your five minutes were up and gabrielle walked back inside, an evil grin plastered on her face.

"time to die, whore."

you froze, accepting your fate. gabrielle lifted up her gun, ready to pull the trigger, when an explosion from behind sent her body hurtling in front. water and rocks splashed everywhere as you tried to see who was there.

shuri.

it was shuri. she first ran to you, her mask disappearing.

"sthandwa? are you okay?" she assessed you for any injuries, and got anxious as she saw your bleeding thigh and swollen hand.

"i'm fine, i promise," you replied, but you looked like you were gonna pass out. riri came from behind you and grabbed you gently, taking you outside where the royal talon fighter hovered, a medical team inside prepped to help you with any injuries.

"you drug me, lie to me, and harm the woman i love the most. give me one good reason why i shouldn't blow your face up right now," shuri glared gabrielle, hot rage coursing through her veins. the drugs were now completely out of her system, and she was ready to rip the spy's throat into shreds.

the mask of her suit hid her face as she lunged at the french woman, claws ripping at her chest. gabrielle let out a groan of pain. she tried to fight back, but the black panther was too strong. water began seeping through, and shuri knew she had to leave before she drowned as well. she considered helping gabrielle for a moment, before deciding that a) she was busted pretty bad and wasn't going to make it, and b) she was a threat to wakanda so there was really no point in saving her. the french embassy had come for wakanda before. they had to set an example, so that no other country would pull shit like that again.

shuri managed to get out just before the entire cave was flooded, and ordered the dora milaje to seal the exit, just in case.

the medical staff on the jet aided to your injuries, giving you some ointment and pain pills. before you knew it, you were dropped at the palace. you asked if you could be led to your apartment, but shuri insisted that you and riri stay at the palace for the night. too tired (and traumatised) to argue, you agreed and were shown to your quarters, where you laid down and were immediately taken over by exhaustion as you fell asleep.

***

rays of sunshine pooled through the large window as you slowly opened your eyes, getting up to see a tray sitting neatly on your bedside table. a bowl of oatmeal, topped with your favourite nut butter and fruits lay on the tray, along with the pain medication you were prescribed, a glass of water, some orange juice, and a note. you picked the note up first, instantly recognising the handwriting scribbled on it.

eat your breakfast, and call me once you're done

shuri <3

she drew a little heart next to her name. how cute. you got up to brush your teeth before scarfing down the food, juice, and medicine. seeing as you hadn't eaten in ages, your hunger made sense. as ordered to, you raised your kimoyo beads and gently tapped them to alert the queen.

"y/n! you're awake, how are you feeling?"

"pretty alright. i ate the breakfast you sent, took my meds, and i just got outta the shower. every part of my body is still in pain though,"

"don't worry, i'm on my way right now,"

"oh, no, shuri you don't have to--"

she hung up before you could finish. typical shuri.

a few minutes later, you heard a gentle knock on your door. "come in" you said softly. shuri's cute morning face popped up as she slowly made her way to your bed, sitting down next to you.

both of your backs were against the bed frame as you faced each other.

"hi," shuri muttered.

"hey,"

she didn't look up at you. slightly confused, you grabbed her chin and tilted her head upwards.

"why won't you look at me?"

her eyes started to water. "i guess i just feel guilty. if i had listened to you at first, i could've sent that french bitch away a long time ago. but you got hurt, because of me,"

"hey, hey..." you tried to console her. "don't blame yourself for this. you were drugged. we both know the great shuri udaku wouldn't fall for a stupid scam like that if she was in her senses," she let out a lugh after your comment and you smiled, happy that you could improve her mood.

as you got flashbacks from your cave encounter with gabriella, a specific thing she said crept up to your brain. and you knew you had to bring it up eventually.

"so, listen..." you fidgeted and shuri gently took your hand, intertwining your fingers together. it was a simple act you guys did as kids to show that you had each others backs. it always made your heart flutter.

"in the cave, when gabriella confessed to drugging you, she said it was because she wanted to seduce you but she couldn't do that while you were sober," shuri cringed when you said 'seduce' and you bit back a laugh at her expression.

"she said she couldn't seduce you without drugging you, because you were in love with me." shuri's head shot up as her eyes widened.

"now i don't know which drug she gave, or how much it affected your memory. but i'm pretty sure you didn't forget the day i told you i love you. and yes, i might not be as entirely over you as i said, but i'm okay with you not seeing me that way. i mean, i'll get over it i guess--"

she cut you off by smashing her lips against yours. it took you a moment to realise what was happening before you started to kiss back. you gently grabbed her shirt collar as she grabbed your waist, pulling you towards her lap, making you straddle her. you made out like that for a while before your need for oxygen interfered, causing you to pull away.

shuri smiled like a kid in a candy store. you smiled back.

"you won't believe how long i've wanted to do that. y/n, ever since the day i met you, i knew i was going to make you mine. how can someone not love you?" you giggled before kissing her again.

"so... are we girlfriends now?" you asked, the smile still stuck on your face.

"hmmm, well, let me think about it," you smacked her arm and she laughed.

"alright, alright, y/n y/l/n, my gorgeous princess, my sweetheart, my one and only, will you be my girlfriend? please?" you laughed and kissed her with all your heart. when you parted again, you chucked to yourself.

"what's so funny, sthandwa?"

"i'm just picturing riri's reaction when we tell her this. she's gonna lose the last bit of sanity she has left," both of you laughed at the image before lying down to cuddle, enjoying each other's embrace for the rest of the day.

*lil bonus scene as a sorry for taking so damn long to upload this*

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" riri yelled out as you and shuri laughed. her reaction was everything you pictured and more.

"FINALLY!! GODDAMN YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THE SHIT I'VE BEEN THROUGH!! SHURI YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A THIRSTY ASS BITCH!! SHOULD'VE HEARD HER FANTASISING ABOUT THIS VIBRANIUM STRAP SHE TOLD ME ABOUT--"

"RIRI!!" you yelled and chased after her in shuri's lab. the queen laughed to herself.

bast, she's crazy. but she's mine. and i'd do anything for her.

[sofiasfanartcollection]

( @the-starry-seas Hi! I was working on a reply to your lovely ask but when I saved it as a draft, it seems to have disappeared, so I hope you see this. )

Hello!!!! Thank you for the interest, I don’t have commissions open at the moment—but I am hoping to soon, once I figure out some things. (I have wanted to do commissions but I often get overwhelmed with figuring out payment methods, if I need a business license etc.) I will be sure to let you know if I get commissions set up :]

And thank you so much, I would love to talk about River!!!

She’s my mutant-sona for Rise of the Tmnt, and was a human mutated to be part white-tailed deer by one of Draxum’s oozesquitoes. Her power from that mutation is growing and controlling plants. (She can grow any plant if she knows what it looks like.)

She was then mutated a second time with split gill mushroom dna (although she attacked the oozesquito with a venus flytrap  and was only partially mutated.) Because the mutation wasn’t as complete, River can’t really control her second set of powers—which are ghost-like abilities. She can float, turn transparently purple, shrink, and summon a misty substance. However, these things tend to happen when River’s stressed, scared, or sad and can be hard to stop. They are more of a hindrance than a power most of the time. (You may have seen these, but here’s some art of her ghost-like form: https://www.tumblr.com/sofiasfanartcollection/732748080571613184/ghostly-here-are-some-doodles-and-a-rough)

(Also, I’m not sure how far you looked back, but here is my first main post for River with info about her: https://www.tumblr.com/sofiasfanartcollection/711553332660076544/my-rise-sonamutant-sona-river-river-sheher )

River was an aspiring children’s book author and illustrator, and had come to New York, from California, to pitch one of her ideas. After the whole being a mutant situation though, she lost the confidence to push on with that dream. She was homeless for a while, and grew lots of small gardens for fellow people living on the streets. Later, she meets Todd, and they become friends, and she moves into the woods near him. They go on lots of nature walks together, and she often volunteers at his puppy sanctuary.  https://www.tumblr.com/sofiasfanartcollection/735215068459024384/one-of-the-quickest-ways-to-befriend-river-is

She’s friendly towards the turtles, though it takes some time for her to feel comfortable around them, since she’s a pretty quiet and anxious person and they are vigilantes basically and are so full of reckless energy. She connects with Mikey over a shared love of art, sews little accessories for Raph’s plushies, enjoys Leo’s jokes, and grows exotic plants for Donnie to study. After the movie, she and Todd both spend time supporting them and their family as they recover. 

River does not get along with/is very scared of most of the mutant villains, but does kind-of accidentally befriend Hypno and Warren. When she first meets them, she finds a lost and trapped Warren (I have a headcanon that he gets lost every once and a while, being so small) and helps him get back to Hypno. Seeing them together, River instinctively feels that they are safe people. (Of course, they’re not safe really, even though they don’t mean her any harm. But River can be a little too trusting when her anxiety calms down.) 

She meets them again when she is running a flower stand at the hidden city, and they become repeat customers. 

Then, after she hears about the run-in they had with Draxum (in Warren and Hypno Sitting in a Tree) she goes to check in on them. After that they meet up every once and a while to visit and play board games. (At this point, she knows they are thieves, but isn’t judging that since being a mutant makes getting by really hard. She doesn’t know they have tried to kill the turtles.)

However, later on she ends up getting in the middle of a fight between Hypno and the turtles. She is devastated to learn that Hypno and Warren would put people’s lives in danger, especially since the turtles are kids. (Superheroes basically, but still kids.)

River avoids Hypno and Warren for a while after that, but when Hypno goes missing before Battle Nexus New York, Warren calls River and she comes to try and help. 

She ends up giving friendship with them another chance after hearing about how Hypno helped Donnie (and how Warren helped April save the turtles from his twin in that unaired episode). 

[This intersects with an AU of mine (though River is more of a minor character in the AU), that I’m working on but haven’t posted much about yet, where Hypno and Warren get a redemption arc. (It seemed like they were leaning that way in the show too.) Once River knows that Hypno and Warren have been enemies of the turtles, she’s only really willing to be friends when they start working towards setting things right.]

After the movie, River trusts Hypno and Warren when they say they didn’t know what that artifact was and remains their friend as they grapple with the guilt of being part of that disaster.

River had a flower stand at a marketplace in the hidden city, while Todd sold lemonade nearby. (He gives most of it away though, and doesn’t end up working there for long.) River works her flower stand for a year or so and then switches to creating flowers and plants for someone’s (a yokai oc who is a work in progress, maybe a kirin?) shop. She still helps with arranging flowers etc, but it’s less stressful.

When it comes to other people River gets to know, there’s a few yokai working at the market that are nice to her. She enjoys when April is around when she visits the turtles, and River likes to listen to some of Splinter’s stories. Casey Jr. has joined her and Todd on nature walks sometimes. She doesn’t really know Bullhop or Casey Sr. She enjoys visiting with Franken-Foot. And she gave Harold a new little corpse flower plant. 

River can barely tolerate Draxum. If she’s around him for much time at all, little thorn bushes will start growing near her. She has found out though, that she can take control of the vines he grows.

[kaerichan-yatta]

KAERI MERRY CHRISTMAS~!

Don't mind me running to your inbox when you announced that requests were open. I've been having the worst obey me brainrot and I couldn't help myself akdhjsjdjs

So, could you please write anything with lee Levi?? He's my absolute fave! Feel free to choose the ler x3 And no pressure ofc!

Have a lovely day!

Top priorities chart

(Levi, Mammon & Lucifer)

Summary: a brand new game finally came out, and Levi had been waiting for it since weeks. However, as soon as he starts playing, it becomes his first priority, bringing his brothers to worry about him gaming for days straight. But no worries, Levi's top weakness against videogames is here to help!

A/N: GDHUAJDUS I'M SO SORRY I'VE MADE YOU WAIT FOR SO LONG😭 my health got in the middle and messed up everything and i even thought i had lost your request cause i was worried i accidentally canceled the fic💀but nope it was safe in my drafts ehehe. (ALSO MERRY -REALLY REALLY REALLY- LATE CHRISTMAS even if we already exchanged wishes many times lmao)

A/N2: also ignore me brainrotting about lee!levi with a hyper sensitive arms and spine and being L O U D when being tkled...

Hope you like it!! Enjoy!<3

"Oi, Satan. Where's Levi?" Mammon asked, his mind clearly up to something silly with money involved.

"I don't know, probably in his room playing videogames, as usual I'd say..." he answered, his eyes still fixed on the book he was reading.

"Again? It's been a whole day...damn. I wonder what he finds so interesting about gaming for so long"

Even if this was his idea, he went down the corridor, opening Leviathan's door without permission.

"Ah, little brother! Guess wha-"

"GAHH! OH NO, NOT AGAIN!" he screamed, both in pain (metaphorically) and for the nearly heart attack he had from Mammon's sudden entry into his room.

"Woah, what was that for?! What are you screaming about, I did nothing wrong!"

"YES YOU DID!" he pointed at the screen "Look at that! You scared me and I lost the match!"

Mammon's expression changed from surprised to annoyed.

"...really? That's my fault?"

"Yes!" he sighed. "Just, just leave me alone! I gotta play another match to win the final tournament!"

"But I needed to talk to you!"

"Later, c'mon! Don't make me lose again!"

Mammon closed the door behind his back, leaving his room. "How rude...!" he said to himself.

meanwhile, in the kitchen

"Lucifer, it's been two days and Levi still has been gaming non-stop" Beel said, adding carrot slices to the soup he was cooking for the dinner.

The eldest rubbed his forehead.

"There's not much we can do, however. I think you all know how Leviathan is made, and what he thinks about this"

"But it will have an extremely negative effect on him!" Asmodeus added, taking plates from the drawer, and taking one for Leviathan too, still hoping he would come at least for dinner.

"Oi, Lucifer, how about we go checking on him after dinner? He must be scared if it's you!" Mammon said.

"I doubt that, but for once I'm in with your idea"

~

"Levi, are you still awake?"

"Of course he is..."

"Ah, yes sure I am! Come in but be quiet" he sounded really nervous.

Lucifer opened the door.

"Levia-"

"Shh!"

Lucifer's eye twitched, he and Mammon looked at each other, then sat down on the floor at each side of Levi.

"That's it, that's it! Aaah! That's the boss! See how big and strong he is but HAHA! I prepared the best team ever and I won't let ANYONE and ANYTHING destroy my perfect path!"

"Why is he pointing out words...?" Mammon whispered to Lucifer.

"Well, you know how he is"

"Uh...stupid?"

"Hey, I heard that, Mammon!"

Lucifer and Mammon exchanged another look, both of them clearly annoyed by his behavior.

"AH- C'MON, 4TH MOON GUARDIAN! TIME FOR THE FINAL ATTACK!!"

"Levi, could you-"

"Bless of the New Moon!"

"Levi-"

"Have a taste of my sword!"

Lucifer almost gave up in trying to convince him turn down the console volume.

"THAT'S IT! AHA! I WON!"

"Leviathan...could you at the very least try not to scream so much?"

"What are you talking about?! I just won the ultimate tournament!"

"That's not the point...I think you need to revise you priorities" Lucifer said.

Levi blinked. "Huh?? Priorities?"

"Yes, in fact, you've been in your room for-"

"Oh, wait! Final showdown, I forgot! I gotta do this!"

"He's not even listening to you, Lucifer"

"Ah, see? How can that game be you first priority?"

Then, an idea popped into Mammon's head.

"Hey, Lucifer! Guess what I'm thinking about" he looked at his brother, his gaze playful, craking his knuckles.

"Well...that could be a good idea"

They closed up on their brother as he was keeping on playing, unaware of what was about to happen.

"Eh, Lucifer. What was that you were talking abAAH!" he suddenly arched his back, missing a button on the joystick, his character jumping instead of attacking.

Lucifer simply kept on poking and squeezing his sides. "Mammon, do you remember?"

Levi's character began to run all over the ring as he lost control of his own fingers, the cause? Mammon's fingers tracing along the inner side of his arm, going up to his armpit, then back down, and again.

"Ah, no! Sorry Lucifer, looks like I forgot...! Levi, can you remember?"

Levi immediately blushed, his character now jumping off the roof and dying. "NOHOHO! GAH- COHOHOME ON!" he laughed harder Lucifer's fingers found their way under Levi's shirt and scratched at his ribs.

"W-WahAHAIT! It W-WAHAS about p-priohohoritIHIHIES?!"

"Ah, right. I think you didn't exactly understand what are your top priorities, Levi. That's why we came here" he stopped for a moment.

"Guh- haah! Ehehahaha! W-whahat do you mehehean?!" he squirmed and giggled as Lucifer still slowly tickled his ribs, making him ten times more nervous about the conversation.

"You've been in your room for three days now, skipping meals and sleep, because your top priority was the game. But that should be less important than your health"

"B-buhuhut! The gahahame just cahahame out! And I was s-so excitehehed!"

"Ah, you're not even trying to understand!" Mammon paused the game in the middle of the fight, which was probably going to be a loss for Levi, since two more of his characters had died.

He tackled his brother down, sitting on his legs, scribbling at the sides of his tummy. Oh, a really bad spot.

"GAHAH- MAHAHAMMON!" he kicked his legs behind his back, shaking his head and trying to block his wrists, but his efforts got stopped by Lucifer blocking his hands under his knees, fully exposing Levi's arms.

Now Levi was in big trouble. Each of his brothers knew how his arms were sensitive.

Scribbles, feathers, tracing, even kisses from his beloved MC could get him there.

"OH NOHOHOHO! PLEHEHEASE NOHOT THAHAT!"

"I'm sorry, Levi. But I'm firmly fixed on the topic before" he brought wiggling fingers down.

"NOHOHOHO!" he twisted his torso, in a desperate attempt to free himself, but it was useless. Tickles could weaken him in no time.

"This is were it gets you for good, hmm?" Lucifer said, tickling the inner sides of his elbows.

"GUH- AHAHAHA! Q-QUIHIHIHIT THAHAHAT! IT TIHIHICKLES!" his laughter rose as Mammon started digging his finger into the back of his ribs.

"Well, that's the point. Since you wouldn't try to follow the conversation, that's one of the easiest way to make you" Lucifer said, in a slighty smug tone.

"NAHAHAHA- PLEHEHEASE! TH-THAHAHAT'S TOO MUHUHUCH!"

"Too much already? Aw, you're seriously that ticklish?" Mammon teased.

"S-STOHOHOP THAHAT! GAH- I'LL LIHIHISTEN! AHAHA- JUHUHUST STOHOHOP!" Levi pleaded.

He panted heavily, his eyes closed, his face red.

"Well now, Levi. Are you ready to follow the conversation?"

"I t-think I am..."

"Good. First, I want you to know gaming must not be your priority, even if-"

Lucifer was almost immediately stopped by Levi.

"But Lucifer! This game is super- no, hyper! Hyper important!"

Lucifer sighed. "I suppose I have to resort to forced measures..."

...

"T-thihihis is insahaAHAne...." he laughed.

The current situation was indedd insane. Leviathan down on his stomach, Mammon sitting on his lower back, and Levi's shirt up so his back was uncovered.

"Let's try to convince you this way, shall we? So, top priority is health, then studies"

Mammon wrote "Health" on Leviathan's back, letter by letter, with his fingertip, giving a little tickle here and there just to tease him more. Levi kicked his legs and tried to muffle his laughter behind his hands.

Then, he wrote "Studies".

Leviathan's body spasmed as Mammon wrote the "S" and the "U".

"Then let's see..." Lucifer said.

"M-MC! MC is a p-priohohority..." he spat out between his giggles, the position he was in making it hard to take a proper breath.

"Right, I see you're starting to understand. Add that one, Mammon"

"W-whaHAHat about gAHAHames?!"

"Well that's one of the last I think...or maybe I could bring that one up...alright, that's a bonus"

Mammon wrote "Games" over his back, sending Levi into hysterical laughter.

And among all the priorities he was listing, Leviathan himself took a mental note about another priority. A good one that would probably save him in the future.

"Always listen to your brothers whenever they're feeling mischievous enough to tickle you to pieces!"

[iplaytoomanyotomegames]

Got a request from @shonenkun20 . I apologize for getting it out so so so so so so So SO late I had started it just a few days after the request was made and had gotten a good chunk done but than I accidentally forgot to save it to my drafts at one point so I lost EVERYTHING and never forgave myself or this piece of writing 😅. Anyway, I had like no ideas for a story so I decided to just give you some jealousy headcannons and a small scene I apologize. Once again I'm sorry for getting this out as late as it is. Anyway here is my jealousy headcannons (+small scene) for our Oni boy Koga. I also apologize for how short and probably OOC this is. You didn't specify what gender so I went with female. I hope you like my little headcannons and fic. Enjoy♡

KOGA

I think this should be pretty obvious but he doesn't really get jealous very easily...

The only people he ever really gets jealous about (specifically over his s/o) are Toichiro and Kyua

With Toichiro he doesn't like how interested he seems in you even though he is like that with basically everyone...

And then you and Kyua just seem very friendly and while he is very happy about that he also...isn't

When it comes to his particular form of jealousy he just becomes a bit more protective than he usually is

Just always having an arm around your waist or shoulders sometimes even a surprise (often a LITERALLY breathing) kiss

Just over all very sweet and slightly possessive boy who just wants to protect you from other people's eyes and just be loved (insecure boy tbh)

Scenario:

You, (y/n) were at the lavish mansion of a handsome and fairly well known aristocrat you just so happened to have built an albeit strange, but nice friendship with. By the name of Toichiro Yuri. You were not alone of course as your lover was with you as well. He was another fairly well known man within the town you lived in. His name was Koga Kitamikado. Toichiro's valet Shizuki was there as well of course but he is less important as of the telling of this story. So the four friends (including Shizuki) had been sitting in a living room type area for some time simply discussing unimportant topics that somehow turned to a party of sorts being held in town in two days time (y/n) aka still you, had completely forgotten until it had been brought up by the not only fox like but also physically a kitsune in human form; Toichiro. A hand was placed on your knee from the fox man. "So (y/n)..." Toichiro began "I belive you have heard of the party being held in town square in just a few days am I right?" You had to think for a moment before you had fully registered his words, you than nodded in recollection of the large festival like dance to be held. "Yeah I do remember hearing about it." You stated blatantly in reply wondering not only about why he was asking given he was quite literally the one who had brought it up to you in the first place, but also because his hand was now lightly resting on your thigh. Of course you couldn't have seen it but Koga had a glare frosty enough to rival Shizuki's ice powers and was directing it at Toichiro's smug face. He, Koga than slipped you out of the foxes grasp and into his arms a frigid look still pointed at his friend. "We are going together." He told The Kitsune. The fox smiled wryly at the Oni. "Oh? I wasn't aware you had fully made your claim to her." You ended up in the middle of a slightly intense stairing contest between the two, up until Shizuki cut into the conversation. "It seems to have gotten rather late. I believe it would be best if maser Koga and Ms.(Y/n) were to get home before dark." You wordlessly thanked him and the two other males nodded in agreement, thus cutting the tension in the room. So Koga and yourself both stood up from your seets and were escorted by Shizuki to the door. Once the two of you got to your house he slipped his arm from your shoulders to your waist and leaned in for a soft and sweet, yet passionate kiss. Almost like he was trying to pour every ounce of affection he had for you straight from his heart into yours. Once you pulled away from each other he gave you a gental smile and a second small peck to your lips, and then another, and then a third. You softly sighed and leaned against him. "You know he was just teasing you." He nodded at your words a sigh leaving his lips. "I know, but I don't like it when he touches you like that." He mumbled back. "I know...you know I love you, and you alone right?" He nodded, a hidden smile gracing his handsome face. "I love you too." He replied. "You should head inside and get some sleep." You nodded with a yawn. "I suppose." You mused before giving him one final kiss on the cheek and heading inside your house.

The end♡

[captainskyson]

AO3 Q&A

Saw this from @talldecafcappuccino a while back and saved it for later, mucho life happened and I forgot about it, then just found it again in my drafts and thought “hey, it’s been a long time since I’ve done a Tumblr q&a post. Why not.”

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

132

2. What’s your current Ao3 word count?

1,803,382

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On Ao3, 7 - but I can think of 3 more off the top of my head that never saw the light of the Internet. A handful are just one-offs, too. But the full list I can think of, most-prolific to least, is: Agents of SHIELD, Buffy, The Blacklist, Harry Potter, The Man in the High Castle, Longmire, CSI, MCU, Ted Lasso.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

GH-325 (Agents of SHIELD) - my first baby! I hadn’t finished, due to show circumstances and becoming a bit disillusioned to writing for it (the show, not the ship), but I refuse to give it up. It’s still a wip, just in long hiatus. Too many people have supported this one over the years for me to give it up… despite the apologetically loooong hiatus.

I Need A Bad Idea (BtVS) - my true baby; this fic is a beast. It’s ridiculous. When I first surpassed GH-325 word count numbers I wondered what the hell I was doing - now well beyond, I just roll with the chaos. I deeply appreciate the love on this one because I’d still be doing this nonsense even without it - so it’s very encouraging to have it. ❤️

Sweet Nothings (The Blacklist) - to be honest, I’m just now discovering this is my #3 kudos’d fic. A pleasant surprise! This one was pure fun to write, and I’m more than pleased to give Lizzington shippers something positive to indulge in, considering… everything.

A Cover Is Not The Book (BtVS) - one of my earlier BG fics. A fully light-hearted story which I know can be rare for these two haha.

Secrets and Surprises (Agents of SHIELD/MCU) - my indulgent attempt at writing a Tony Stark-Daisy Johnson friendship - FUN. Also, of course, Lola is a main feature. 😍🚘

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not.

I try to! Even if it’s just a thank you - I really do appreciate every single comment on a story and I like to try and show that. Sometimes I accidentally miss some, but yeah usually I do my best to respond.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t do angst very well. I’ve been told otherwise (😅) but I’m just a sucker for my happy (or at least hopeful) endings. Two of my Buffy fics, Shrike and Beloved, are pretty angsty UNTIL the end… lol.

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not as a habit. Technically a few of my AoS fics could count as crossovers, even though I’m firmly of the belief that SHIELD *is* just as canon as the rest of the MCU (Or it was??? I lost track of the plot after season 6.) A number of years ago I wrote a Buffy/MCU crossover fic that just makes me laugh now… it’s a little nuts, as it spawned from a weird dream I had haha. It was actually also my first Ao3 posting for my beloved ship…

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Oh yes. The most hateful comments tend to spawn elsewhere, but I’ve had two or three silly-gooses forget that they have a ‘back’ button on their Ao3 browser. 99.9% of the time Ao3 is a lovely community though. But I also tend to live in smaller corners of fandoms, we keep to ourselves. 🤙

9. Do you write smut?

Does one make lemonade out of lemons? 🤣 🍋🍋🍋

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yessss - Lemon Giles! I am deeply proud of this collab. It was one of the most magical writing experiences of my life. Two people, a shared Google doc, opposite time zones and a chaotic level of shippy feels 😂 It was so much fun.

12. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Oof magoof. This is a tough one. My knee-jerk reaction is to go BG, as that’s definitely been the most affecting ship in my life (as far as real-life friendships and relationships made and heroes met and goals inspired etc). But Grissom-Sara from CSI: Las Vegas has been close to my heart for an even longer time. I also deeply adore Longmire-Vic… it’s not often a tv show follows the books (sort of), and/or canonizes your otp. At least, not when it’s any of *my* otps hahaha.

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

If my memory serves, I first wrote for CSI, but I first posted online for Harry Potter. On Ao3 specifically, my first posted fic was for Agents of SHIELD.

14. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh dang it, I cannot pick one answer here. I have different reasons for favourites: “Shrike”, because a friend and I actually had that one printed and bound (for funsies and a gift to a fellow friend, not for dough) and my copy ended up read and signed by someone I adore. The Infinite, because Coulson-Mace was a ship fandom of like, five (bless you), and I’ve never felt Mama-Bear about a ship before, but those boys are just… so much to me. Plus, working on that story had helped me mourn a sudden real-life death of someone close to me. “I Need A Bad Idea” is my favourite in regards to the amount of work I put into that one. It’s so satisfying when all the research and brainstorms and notes come together into a ready-to-post chapter.

[jerzwriter]

For the OTP questions: Zoe and Eli - 4, 6, 20

OK, Funny story. I SWORE I answered this. Then I got similar questions from missameliep and I was like, I know I answered these. Yeah, I saved them to drafts. LOL Now, I found them, so I am posting again. Sorry for the delay lol

4. Favorite non-sexual activity?

Initially, probably practicing shooting together. Especially before the end of the canon story, where they still weren't officially a thing. It was a great way to get alone time and not have others become too suspicious. Also, all that "Here, let me help you with your stance" became great excuses for getting close - when really no excuse was needed. Besides, they're very skilled, and they enjoy the activity as well; it's nice to have something they share.

But after they are honest about their feelings, other things become even more preferred. They love taking rides on that bike he stole from the Raiders when it's safe to. They also love the comforts of "home." Holing up together and reading, snuggling, or talking for hours on end. They truly value any downtime together.

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

While Zoe is a big fan of his chest and arms, especially when they're holding her close, the thing she loves most about him is his smile. It took her some time to get him to be free with it, and she never takes it for granted.

If someone were to ask Eli he'd say it's everything, and he can't pick. However, if he really had to, it would be her eyes and her smile. She has beautiful, big, doe eyes that never hide what she is feeling in her heart - good or bad - and he loves them. But her smile will forever warm his heart.

20. What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

So funny you should ask that. I've been giving a lot of thought as to what their friends think, what their families would have thought, and what the colonists of Olympus would think as well. After all, she's their leader, and people are bound to have opinions.

The first one to recognize there was anything between them was Troy. He's her best friend, and he's observant. He called Eli out on it before he did Zoe (Accidental Friendship), and the fact that he was cool with it screams volumes about how Troy felt. He loves Zoe like she was his kid sister, and him joking with Eli about it, being happy about it, is huge.

The first time the rest get a glimpse that there is more between them will be when Eli kisses her before she leaves to meet Sledge in Chapter 11 (I think it's 11). They were shocked, but they were so worried about other things they had no time to care. After, they silently knew something was going on between them but didn't dare ask. They figured they'd tell them when, and if, the need to arose. (Plus, they were a little afraid of Eli's reaction lol)

I see their friends being very supportive; they can see they're good for each other. They are so similar in many ways - but their differences complement each other. Zoe helps Eli remember who he was before he lost so much; he learns to enjoy life a little more. But he helps her stay grounded, and learn to trust herself and her intuition more. They also balance each other, when she's down, he lifts her, and vice versa. It would be hard to not support them.

But I can see some people in Olympus maybe not liking it. While Eli mellows, he still isn't everyone's cup of tea. When people are in power, they have enemies. Some may think he gets favored treatment because of Zoe; some may be jealous - of one or the other - so I think there will be some outside tension on occasion. But everyone who matters was happy to see them together.

[radiantlyrey]

Thinkin' 'Bout NaNoWriMo

It's getting to be that time of year again--that time when writers everywhere sit down and ask themselves important questions. Questions like, "Am I doing NaNoWriMo this year?" and "If I am doing NaNo, what am I even gonna write?"

I am planning to do an abridged NaNo this year--probably not more than 20k words for the whole month. (Part of me always wants to shoot for 50k, but the rest of me knows me better than that, and knows that down that path lies horrific burnout, so.) I am having trouble choosing which story I want to work on.

Which brings me to you, Tumblr.

Here are my current story ideas for NaNoWriMo. There are five of them, and I've listed a little summary for almost all of them, along with some personal pros and cons.

Idea #1: Fantasy Titanic This idea came to me in a dream two years ago (no, really). The basic gist is thus: What if Titanic (1997), but instead of a love story, it's a heist story, and also there are elves and magic and shit? The summary:

The grandest cruise ship of the century is setting off on its maiden voyage. Passengers include young Neela, who is crossing the ocean to meet her fiance before their wedding, and Alice, a sorceress and unwilling conwoman/thief whose mother has chosen Neela as their next mark. The con is nearly done when disaster strikes--the ship hits an iceberg and begins to sink. In the chaos that ensues, Alice must make hard choices, not least of which is who she wants to be if she survives.

Pros and Cons: +I already have the first half of the story plotted out. +I already have extensive profiles of my two main characters written.

-I have to do a lot more research on the actual ship and the disaster. -I feel like some of the plot I do have needs to be reworked.

Idea #2: Beauty and the Beast Retelling This story is a rewrite of a story I wrote about 15 years ago in my online writing group. I've been wanting to retackle it for a while now, and I spent some time this past spring making plans for it. I don't have a formal summary for it yet, but.

The story follows the basic shape of the original fairy tale, but with some modernization and fantasy twists. The story is set in the US, and it's set in a world where magic has been gone from the western world for well over a century. Other than that, things are more or less the same: Penniless father of three daughters gets lost on the way home from a trip, ends up at a mysterious and obviously magical mansion. He accidentally offends his host, a monstrous Beast, who demands the father give up one of his daughters to the Beast, or else return himself. The eldest daughter (rather than the youngest) agrees to go in her father's place.

Pros and Cons: +I have almost three-fourths of the story plotted out. +I am eager to revisit this idea and improve on my first attempt.

-I may need to do some more worldbuilding before drafting can begin. -I’m not sure if I have a good grip on my main character yet.

Idea #3: TRON/Pacific Rim Crossover I have had this idea for about five years now, and it's a basic "what if I mashed these two universes together?" style crossover. My concept is a series of fics that follow TRON character Quorra's point of view of the Kaiju War, and her journey towards eventually becoming a Jaeger pilot with Sam Flynn (another TRON character). I've got about five or six of the stories already plotted out, though I don't have much more of a summary.

Pros and Cons: +I know how the next few stories are meant to go. +I am feeling enthusiastic about the story as a whole, and am eager to continue work on it.

-I am kind of blocked on the second story, and have been for a while. -I’m still worried no one’s going to read this thin, so what's the point.

Idea #4: TRON '82 High Fantasy AU Not much to say about this one except that it's very new, but here's a summary:

Chesst styles himself the God-Emperor of the Seven Realms, and has outlawed worship of the old gods. Those who still cling to the ancient ways are consigned to the empire’s gladiatorial arenas, forced to fight to the death in dangerous games. Tron, a former knight-paladin of the realm of Enqor, has spent nearly a year in the arenas, fighting and surviving and keeping his faith alive. The gods have not forsaken him yet, and he knows they will not let Chesst’s blasphemy stand. When an amnesiac prisoner named Flynn arrives at Tron’s arena, Tron and his friend Ram are tasked with preparing him for the games. As Flynn recovers and trains, it becomes clear that he is much stronger than even Tron expected. He has access to a powerful magic that he cannot fully control, even with Tron mentoring him. As the start of the games approaches, Tron can only hope that Flynn’s true power can be concealed long enough for him to control it, and perhaps long enough for the three of them to escape.

Pros and Cons: +It’s a new idea, which means it could spark a lot of creativity. +I think it could be a fun idea to explore at length.

-I’d have to do a ton of worldbuilding to get ready to write it. -I also need to plot the whole thing (or at least part of it), with the original film as a guide.

Idea #5: The Face in the Mirror This is also a new idea and yet another TRON story. Concept came about a post on here about what might happen if one program's disc was put on another program's body. I've billed this one as a horror story; here's the summary:

Metz is having a little trouble with his memory. He remembers… horrible things, things that don’t make sense. He remembers derezzing, or at least, he thinks he does. His best friend and lover, Starr, says that it’s just a packet of bad code that will purge itself in time. She reassures him that he’s fine, and he wants to believe her, but… Sometimes, it’s like someone or something else is inside his body. And every time he sees his reflection, he’s startled by the face staring back at him…

Pros and Cons: +I know the basic shape of the story already. +The plot will probably fit my lower NaNoWriMo goal of 10-20k.

-I have no idea how to write a horror story. -I’m not sure I have enough enthusiasm for this idea right now.

I do not promise to abide by the results of this poll, but I'm interested to see what y'all think of my conundrum.

[aobawilliams]

First Line Tag Game!!

I was tagged by @idontonlytalkaboutdcmk

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

I’ll try to go from more recent to older (date of the creation of the doc will be written in MM/YYYY format), but this might not correspond to the time the sentence was actually written. (I might have missed some stuff but, oh well, whatever.)

1- (04/2021) Aizawa meets Izuku AU (MHA, OS in progress)

It was luck that brought Shouta here.

2- (03/2021) Vigilante Yagi AU (MHA, in-progress, either a long-fic or a serie of OS)

All Might has been a hero longer than he has ever been Yagi Toshinori.

3- (02/2021) Dad For All AU (MHA, various blurb on tumblr so far, most likely a longfic)

Izuku was trying really hard not to panic. One second he was fighting a villain with a still unknown quirk, the next he found himself __ years in the past, according to the news report currently going on TV.

4- (02/2021) Midoriya Inko’s Guide To Good Parenthood (MHA, in progress, probably a serie of OS?)

Midoriya Inko isn’t anything special. She's 30 going on 52, has a really bad case of anxiety, can and will cry for any reasons, and has gotten so many grey hair from her son's shenanigans its a wonder she still has green hair.

5- (12/2020) The Kids Will Be Alright (DCMK, spin-off of Sharpen Your Knives)

Ran was running. Fast, fast, faster, not fast enough. She put all her strength in her legs, went as fast as she could.

6- (11/2020) Before the coffee gets cold - The Sisters (DCMK, OS published on AO3)

It was probably foolish of her to come back to this place. But, on the off chance that the rumours were true, she wanted to give it a chance.

7- (11/2020) Sharpen Your Knives (DCMK, in-progress longfic, won’t be published for a long while)

Shinichi has no idea how things could have gone so wrong, so quickly.

8- (08/2020) The Time Travel Road Trip Case (DCMK, spin-off of Who The F- Is This) (technically not the first lines, but it’s the first part I’ve written)

Shinichi(Conan) felt someone lift him up from the back, he turned his face as he came level with their chest, one look at their face and…

Well, guess he found KID.

9- (06/2020) Who The F- Is This (DCMK, longfic in progress, the first chapters are on AO3)

Shinichi’s head was throbbing. He felt like someone was playing drums with his head. What has happened?

10- (06/2020) Harrinichi Kupotter (DCMK & Harry Potter x-over, longfic in progress)

Shinichi doesn't really believe in superior beings, gods or the supernatural. So far everything in his life could be explained by science and very human tricks.

11- (03/2019) Naobuza & Raphtaku AU (The Rising of the Shield Hero & Naruto x-over, an old baby I keep coming back to)

If you were to ask anyone to tell you about Naofumi Iwatani, those who remember him would tell you that he’s a weird kid. There’s something otherwordly about him, as if he was evolving in a totally different universe from them.

12- (01/2019) The self-indulgent FMA TT au (FMA, an old project that I should go back to, someday)

Somehow, sometimes, Ed felt like there was some being out there, out for him.

13- (01/2019) Nanadaime time travel AU (Naruto, will most likely be an OS, one day I will finish it enough to post it on AO3)

It was a late night In the Hokage office, one of many. As was usual by now, the Hokage was filling paperwork at his desk, his right-hand-man filling his own number of files at his side.

14- (11/2018) Baby Ed saving the world with hugs and punches (FMA, an old project that I will go back to)

On a warm night during the summer of 2005, as the sun left it’s place for the shining stars, Edward Elric went to sleep for the last time besides his lovely wife, in the house he has rebuilt with his own two hands.

15- (06/2018) The roadtrip 03Ed never knew he needed (FMA03/CoS & Fantastic Beasts and where to find them x-over, a serie of OS)

He wasnt sure what brought him back here.

Maybe he just wanted to make sure Envy was dead, one monster less in this world. Or maybe he just wanted to make sure there was no way between both world (no way to go home.)

16- (04/2018) Badass Women Roleswap AU (FMA, I still sometime go back to it, will most likely be a serie of OS)

Ed didn’t have many memories of his father. He could remember a tall man, who always looked sad. A giant who always had trouble when it came to holding him and his brother. A figure always working in his study. A person who always looked sad when teaching them alchemy.

17- (03/2018) FMA TT fic I wasnt planning to expend (FMA, old project, I will get back to it.) (it is, also, the first fanfic idea I got when I got back into writing fics)

Nothing happened as it should have been. No matter everything they’ve done to try and stop him, the dwarf in the flask still managed to bypass it all and, in some way, reach his goal.

And that’s pretty much it for any written stuff I got (anything else is too old)

Bonus: A la recherche du canard (Looking for the duck) - it’s an old assignment I had for french class, where we had to pick an article and write a short story based on it. (When I say old, I mean it’s from 2012 - it’s a good way to see how far I’ve come). It’s honestly really bad but I did have a lot of fun back then. (This is a translated from french version btw) (yes I stole names from Hetalia I was always terrible at finding names for characters)

The sun shined upon the sleeping man face, who opened his bright blue eyes. He got up suddenly, throwing his blanket on the ground. Today would be the day where he, Alfred F. Jones, Yorkville police officer, would accomplish his mission: keeping an eye on the annual fair set-up.

So, observations: You can very clearly see me go through various fandom phases it’s funny. Also my naming skills for the AUs got slightly better (but not that much.) I do tend to drop a name (usually the person from whom the POV is) in those first sentences. The first paragraph tend to get shorter with time (which might simply be because I realised I tend to lose focus when it gets too long.) I also never start on dialogue, generally I go for the POV’s thought uh.

I do quite like the ones for the Vigilante Yagi AU and the Midoriya Inko���s guide, The Kids Will Be Alright too. Badass Women I like it but also am not 100% happy with it.

This mostly made me want to share even more about these stories to y’all.

Anyway! Tagging @whoever wants to do it! I’m not sure whom I follow has already done it/been tagged or not, uuuuhhh, maybe @artistfingers ? If you’re a writer and wants to do it then go for it and tag me I guess.

[hattiewritesalot]

Hello! If you’re taking votes for the Jane volturi fic I’d vote for a part 2 :) it’s really good, love your writing

tysm! that means a lot to me :D

~Misunderstanding~

Jane Volturi x gn!vampire!reader

Part 1 here!

Summary: So it turns out that (Y/N)'s mate is one of the deadliest vampires out there. Which, y'know, isn't good. But it seems the only thing on (Y/N)'s mind is why their twin Alice didn't see it coming.

Warnings: okay so I've accidentally made Alice seem really horrible in this and I am very sorry for that. Also (Y/N) is too funny in this and it goes terribly off-script and off-plot. soz.

A/N: cleaning out my drafts look at me goooo

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What the fuck." was the first thing (Y/N) said, it being the first thing that came to mind.

Jane blinked a few times, dark eyelashes fluttering against her alabaster cheeks, before standing up straight and glancing at her brother, before looking back at the group, refusing to look at her mate.

"Come, Aro is waiting."

And with that, she turned and walked towards the elevator, the rest of the vampires, and a lost-looking Bella, following.

The entire elevator trip was silent, besides from the gentle tune of music. Except, it wasn't quiet inside (Y/N)'s mind.

They were holding onto the wall for dear life in an attempt to make sure they wouldn't fall over. Their head flooded with questions, ones that needed answers, as they stared into the back of Jane's head.

That was when they turned to their twin, who was busy staring at the ceiling. They closed their eyes and began speaking in Alice's head, a bonus to their mind-controlling power.

'This is so weird.'

Alice turned to them, acknowledging their statement with a sad smile.

'I know, I could see the way your face fell, I'm sorry (N/N)'

No messages were transferred through minds for a couple of seconds, before (Y/N)'s head shot up and they closed their eyes again.

'Alice?'

'Yeah?'

'How didn't you see this coming?'

'I… don't know what you're talking about.'

'Yes you do, your visions, how did you not-'

(Y/N) turned to glare into the side of their twin's head, who refused to even look them in the eye.

'Did you… know about this?'

'What? Of course… not.'

The conversation was cut off by Edward digging his elbow into (Y/N)'s side, hissing at them to shut up. Oh yeah. They must've forgotten that Edward reads minds. Whoops.

And as the group left the elevator, (Y/N) couldn't help but think that there was something Alice wasn't telling them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The room was large and extravagant, with three elegant chairs in the middle, each occupied by a different vampire.

Aro, you guessed, as he looked exactly like how Carlisle had described him to, rose from his throne thingie, and began speaking. In all honesty (Y/N) was not really listening, instead focusing on the ruby gaze of another vampire.

They didn't look at Jane, in fear of her looking away, but they could almost feel her nervousness. Times like this were when (Y/N) wished they had Jasper's power.

Then, far too quickly, it seemed, Edward was suddenly being beaten up on the floor. Okay, that was rude. Yeah, (Y/N) didn't like Edward very much, often having late-night-talk-shit sessions about him with Rosalie, but that was low.

"Okay emo boy, calm yourself." Aro turned to look at them, as did the rest of the Volturi.

"I know this bitch can be a handful, but don't throw him on the floor because you're mad that his hair is less greasy than yours."

The rest of the vampires seemed shocked, insulted even, but out of the corner of your eye you could see Jane and Felix cover their mouths with their hands to try and hide little laughs.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'm just being honest. It's my best quality, y'know." The red-eyed vampire shrivelled up his nose as their teasing. "Somebody get this hideous creature out of my sight." He said, waving his hand dramatically.

"I don't think you can talk about being ugly, you look like you got no love as a child and now drown yourself in hair gel to get some form of attention."

Aro's eyebrows furrowed at their sassy remarks, and turned to Jane. "Jane. Now."

(Y/N) turned to look at Jane, who's slightly panicked eyes met theirs for a second, before she turned to look at Aro again.

"I… cannot."

"Pardon?"

"I- they-"

"They're mates."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alice had finally spoken up, forcing her way through the small crowd. Gasps erupted from around the room as (Y/N) stared harshly into the side of their twin's head.

"I've seen it, in my visions, for longer than I care to admit. We wouldn't want to separate mates, now, would we?" She asked, her tone slightly taunting.

If (Y/N) could cry, they would've in that very moment. How could Alice, their own twin, the one being they cared about more than anything, lie to them like that.

Aro scoffed, turning to Jane for confirmation, who simply dropped her head to stare at her feet.

He turned again to stare deeply into (Y/N)'s golden eyes, before sighing and flicking his wrist.

"We take the (H/C) one. The rest are free to go."

"Wait what? No you can't do that! I-"

(Y/N) stopped speaking as a large object collided with their head and they collapsed. Due to their power, their head was extremely sensitive, and their weakest point.

Jane watched as Demetri carelessly dragged her mate towards her, essentially flinging them at her feet. She kneeled down to move a few stray strands of hair from their face, before retracting her hand as if she had stung herself.

No, this wasn't right.

It had to be one big misunderstanding.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

jurassic world dominion rewatch thoughts: the alan/ellie edition (+ some extra)

all my rambles about my favorite dino boos! and then some misc. thoughts about everything else. but y’all know my priorities.

 i love the effusive affection that laura dern brings to ellie sattler, and i love that it’s just as present here as in the first movie. i skimmed through the alan/ellie scenes in the junior novelization to try to refresh my memory before writing some fic (sidenote: not super helpful, since it was from an earlier script draft), and in that, they had her say, “you look ... the same” when she first saw him. in the movie, she’s like “you look the same!” with all the world’s enthusiasm and fondness in it and it’s truly just a whole other vibe and it is THE ellie sattler vibe, god bless this movie for preserving it so lovingly. (see also: her screaming ferociously waving a fiery torch at a dinosaur in a dark cavern. i’m sorry, she is one of the most perfect people in all of fiction.)

i think one of the reasons alan and ellie are such a great couple in the original is that they’re such a UNIT and vibe so well and are clearly so aligned in their work and their values that they come off like a force to be reckoned with when they’re together. (which, how wonderful to see a man and a woman in a relationship portrayed like that in pop culture! i wish we had one million more of those.) and i love how they immediately get back into the swing of that! there’s a few moments -- one where they’re talking to ramsay in the helicopter and one when they first start talking to ian again -- where they both get really indignant and are protesting what they’re hearing in unison and it’s extremely charming and extremely in keeping with their original movie energy.

alan snatching the picture of them out of sight! alan making her improv’d iced tea aka water with like nine teabags inside! ellie not judging the sight of that improv’d iced tea in the slightest because she gets this man!

he’s the one she trusts!!!!!!! even after all this time!!!! always!!!!! (i’m already anticipating the gifset pairing that with her saying “you’re still the best, i mean that” in jp3. i’m a simple person with simple wants.)

falling asleep on ya ex-man on a long plane ride!!!!!!! YES! it tickles me thinking about how much time they got to spend together alone during that journey. and it tickles me extra that it ended in accidental cuddling. you just reunited like yesterday!

poor alan having to learn that ian slid into ellie’s dms without knowing what that means, and THEN being confronted with the elaborate world of pretentious hipster coffee like two seconds later. someone help the man!

i fully adore the fact that they narrowly escape death by one zillion gigantic locusts, wearing goofy scientist suits, and STILL get THAT swept up in an “oh, hello, our bodies are suddenly pressed together” moment. YES!

i also love every bit of sneaky sneaking and espionage they do at biosyn, they are so in sync at being hilarious. when ramsay finds them and they’re like “oh noooooooo! we got so lost!!!! a ha ha ha!!!!”. ART.

i love the whole sequence in the mining caves, it’s just so great. ellie’s long jokey-but-sincere apologetic ramble about how she should have left alan alone where he was happy and the way he cuts it off by telling her he wasn’t happy!!!!!!!!!!! maisie asking if they have kids!!!!!! (i personally am not one to play around with the whole “alan is secretly the father of ellie’s kids” thing because i don’t want them to have that much drama in their lives and that would inevitably bring Extreme Drama, but laura dern’s delivery of “nooooooooo, no no” or whatever ellie said was, um, Suspicious. girl! what kinds of fires are you trying to fuel with this??) also, just the delicious horror of them being trapped in the dark trying to get through that gate with dinosaurs on their tails, and the use of darkness in such a simple and creepy way, feels VERY classic first-movie horror. and literally everything ian says in the process of trying to open the gate = *chef’s kiss*

ellie crying and saying “alan, alan!” after the car toppled over when she was in the front seat and he was in the back, sob!!!! they’re so physically close but she’s still so upset to be removed from him!!!! also: excellent jp throwback to her saying his name 829375398 times. another good one: when she’s loving on the bb dinosaur and she’s like “alan! you never get used to it!” even though she’s in a conversation with two people. and alan is simply the heart eyes emoji. I LOVE IT!

alan holding her when they’d all just narrowly escaped the big bitey dinosaur on the ladder (i’m good at dino knowledge) = a+++++ survival snuggles

i wasn’t quite sure how to read the moment where ellie runs out while rexy is fighting the giganotosaurus and losing -- is it that she’s trying to protect rexy? if so: absolutely deranged and very delightful of her. (i mean, rexy did save them all from a raptor-y death back in the day! she’s a good girl!)

the kiss remains perfect and such good payoff after our 20 years of suffering!!!!!!!! i just love how they’re standing beforehand in this very pretend-casual way where they are both clearly hoping it’s gonna happen; the whole scene is just so sweetly choreographed. and then the hugging and sweet nothings in the background!!!!

alan grant and ellie sattler, fighting the good fight, cozily bantering while ellie adjusts his neckwear! exactly as it should be. <3

and a few other non-grant ‘n sattler bits:

as someone from cold climes, i love that this movie has some snow in it! dinos in the snow is a visual my heart has been yearning for. (that scene of blue and beta running around in the snow hunting so joyfully! I WEEP!)

maisie flippin’ the bird with both hands was SUCH an iconic over-it teenager moment, i cannot wait for the gif. i really like that we got to spend time with her over two movies -- a first for a jurassic ‘verse kid character!

as i’ve said before, i really love claire as a character and i appreciate that she gets such a complicated arc over these three films and that she feels the weight of wanting to atone so heavily. this time around i was really struck by that sequence of her alone in the forest, and just the idea that that was her kind of gauntlet where she reckoned up close with the full weight of what she had been complicit in. idk. i just really liked it. i love claire dearing!

sidenote: that blind creepy dinosaur with the edward scissorhands was so iconic and disturbing. is it an herbivore that just kills things for fun with dismissive smacks of its creepy-ass fingies????

also, owen having to hold claire back when maisie was on the ladder and the dino chomped on it! i have a lot of feelings about fierce mama bear claire. (and owen being like “you’re her mom, you have to save her” as the plane was crashing! sob! i also loved how he had a beat of just smiling at her lovingly in this moment in spite of everything. i know we’re all pretty burned out on this particular chris, but between these movies and andy dwyer i must admit he’s delivered some performances i find very endearing. beta in the baby backpack!!!!!!!!! he read alan’s book ... on tape! oh, owen grady. you fine, but you simple.)

OWEN STRANGLED A DILOPHOSAURUS WITH HIS BARE HANDS TO SAVE HIS MISSUS. and then said “go on, git!” to make it run back into the woods. THAT’S CHIVALRY. THAT’S ROMANCE.

i am not much of an action movie person and i usually zone out during a lot of action, but the whole malta sequence is freaking rad.

i really liked dodgson as the antagonist here; i had totally forgotten the first time i watched it that he was the one working with nedry to smuggle the dino embryos out, and i think it brings it really satisfyingly full-circle to have him come back. and i’m very down with elon musk-y figures being dragged through the mud in our pop culture right now!

i was talking to my bf earlier about how i really love these movies because they’re about academics and researchers who are sincerely driven by their love of their field and their love of the natural world, and how it’s interesting that our two protagonists from JW are from the military and from corporate culture ... but then both of those institutions are revealed to be corrupt and destructive, and our heroes wind up happy living out alone in the woods. i like that journey.

owen and kayla having that long frightening escape from the feathery ice dino and then owen saying “what an asshole” is just peak jurassic universe joy to me. yeah! what an asshole!

i so appreciate how vibrant and fun and fully developed kayla and ramsay and santos all feel. i felt like they fit into the mix with the other characters so well and i would also love to watch their continuing adventures. HINT HINT, WORLD! (i also loved getting to see franklin and zia a bit more, they are both such fun characters! and owen getting to reunite with his raptor-training bestie barry!)

also, santos is SUCH A GREAT VILLAINOUS LADY, omg. i love her clear commitment to life/work boundaries in that she always makes sure she’s getting paid extra before she puts any additional work in. (i’m telling you man. kayla and santos: complicated dinosaur smuggler gfs spinoff!!!!!!!!) also she looks god damn flawless, which is important in the dino smuggling line of work. the way that white shirt/dress/whatever-it-was drifted around her was just such iconic imagery. you KNOW there’s a great plot lurking somewhere where she’s imprisoned and gets released on the condition of participating in some complicated dino-related adventure.

obviously i am sentimental about blue watching her humans from afar in their remote cabin home and i am sentimental about them bringing beta back to her and owen and her staring fondly at each other before they part. if being emotionally affected by a bond between a man and the raptor he raised and trained from birth is ridiculous, well, then, call me ridiculous!

come on, those ending shots of the dinosaurs coexisting with the animals were magical.

i love the message of “no one can afford to just sit and do nothing right now” in this current climate and i love that it’s ellie sattler delivering it. YEAH!

[quirklessidiot]

Drabble #7 : quiet nights :: all i wanna do is grow old with you. [fluff + happy angst?? + coward au series +timeskip] Warning: death Notes: i found this in my drafts and because Ive closed the account might as well post this last drabble as I start fixing my gdocs! thank u once again everyone. I thought it would be good to formally close the acc with this since I literally started it with this story lmao. thank u guys!!!! ive read the goodbye messsage and im really happy that it made me forgot the bad stuff. See you when i see you, yall stay safe and stay hydrated! TCCOGS & reign will be posted in Ao3 when I have the time i love love u guys! onestly wished i had the time management to stick around here T-T read the full story here!

The sun is gone and the wind is cool tonight as you sit next to your husband who lays quietly on his bed, it’s getting late in the evening and you know that the days are numbered. Unlike before where you could still look forward to everyday, you start to wonder if you’ll ever feel the same way again.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Your wrinkled hands are on top of his as he gives you his famous grin that he seems to never have lost even as your hairs turn grey and as the wrinkles on your skin starts to appear, he may have gone old but Miya Atsumu has never lost the youth in his eyes and it makes you fall deeper despite fifty or so years of marriage, “Ya gone awfully quiet tonight, sweetheart.” He jokes.

You both know his days are numbered.

“I’m always quiet though.”

“Talk to me. I wanna hear yer voice.”

“You always hear my voice.”

“I wanna hear it more though, night’s awfully quiet.” He grumbles, “Have the kids called?”

“Yeah, Yuuto will arrive at the morning and Youta might catch the last plane tonight from Brazil. Misaki says she’ll be here in the morning too.”

“Misaki bringin’ her stinkin’ husband too?”

You roll your eyes at your husband’s antics, your beautiful daughter had ended up marrying Kageyama Tobio’s son (the twins were very happy when they heard they’d now be in-laws with the kageyama tobio much to your husbands dismay) it definitely didn’t sit well with your husband, “Yes and the three kids. Yuuto will also bring Ren-chan too and the kids.” you smile, the thought of having all your eight grandkids in the morning as soon as you wake up would be fun.

“How about Youta? When is he ever going to bring a girl or guy or whatever home?”

“You know how he is, he got more of his playful side from you.”

Atsumu frowns, “I did not go out with a lot of women.”

“Mhm,” You mumbled, giving your husband a kiss as you fix his blanket, “Of course you didn’t.”

Atsumu mumbles something that you can’t quite catch yet he says something loud enough for you to hear next, “I did a good job, right? Even if I was gone for the first six years in the two gremlins lives?”

“They don’t even remember that part very well, all they remember was how you were the best otosan in the world.” you comfort your husband, running your hands through his grey hair, “A good ojichan, a great otosan, an even greater husband.”

You notice the twinkle in his eyes, “Damn right I should be, ya deserve the best, Y/N.”

“Yeah,” You whispered, squeezing his hand, “If I could turn back the clock, I’d definitely tell twenty-one year old me to not be afraid to take that leap.”

“I’m just happy I found my way back to ya.” he grins, “Even was able to give that middle finger to yer parents when we met them one time even though they deserved more than that.”

Back when you were in your thirties, you had accidentally ran into your mother and father on separate occasions. Atsumu was glad enough to give them both a middle finger both times despite the apologies. You never did forgive them nor did you attend their funerals when they died.

You chuckle, “I love you.”

“I love you more.” he breaths out, “I’m glad I waited, Y/N. I really am.”

“And I’m glad that I ended up with you, Atsumu.”

The days are reduced to moments though because your husband doesn’t last through the night as expected.

You feel your heart tug.

It hurts because as much as you knew where this would lead up, you already miss him so dearly.

Yet when you glance over his body once again before it's inserted into the crematorium. You see the small smile on his lips and all those memories, all those actions and affectionate warmth he has showered onto you eases the pain.

Your children’s, grandchildren, and his friends' cries are muted behind you as one thought occupies your mind, you definitely were glad that he caught you in the end.

taglist [thank u to each and everyone on this taglist, I wont forget the huge support on this series!]

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[cqterpillar]

hii could you write summt about (fem) reader x damon <33 maybe like damon comforting them when their having a hard time xx

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐎𝐀𝐋

femalereader x damon albarn

genre(s) ꩜ a little angst to fluff

warning(s) ꩜ mild language

a/n ꩜ tysm for requesting, i loved this request :]

summary ꩜ college life becomes too much for y/n and she accidentally forgets her date with damon while dreading an upcoming assignment.

your college demanded so much of you. papers were due almost every day, your roommate was a pain in the ass, and it had been so long since you sat down to some home cooked meal. to top it all of, your parents were the ones who forced you to go and enroll in a major you didn’t even like!

the end goal of the week was to get in a huge essay on the benefits of creative writing with about a thousand words due, but you had no motivation to write anymore. it felt like all you were doing was writing. a paper here, an evaluative paragraph there, and you were spending your free time practicing more of your writing since the professor you had was practically beating the crap out of you mentally.

you were busy writing that thousand word essay, hoping that for once in your life, your teacher would actually give this paper a b grade at least since you were eager to ditch the feeling of being accustomed to c’s and d’s.

while caught up in penning the draft, you forgot about today’s special occasion - the one year anniversary of you and your boyfriend, damon, finally going on a first date after being iffy of if the other party liked you back. when your phone rang, you sighed, upset that a call would interrupt your thoughts.

you flipped it open and spoke into it with a dash of annoyance, “hello?”

“y/n? it’s me, damon. where are you, love?”

your heart practically stopped.

you forgot.

“honey, i am so sorry. i lost track of time. can we still catch that movie? i really want to go on that date with you!”

when damon talked, it seemed like you could hear his smile. he sounded so patience with you, and to be honest, he always was. “it’s no big deal then. why don’t you just come over to my flat to watch a movie? the one at the theater is already closed now.”

you figured, eh, why not, and threw away the crumpled up essay you had crushed between your hands. it was rubbish anyways. at least, this professor of yours would’ve called it that, you assumed.

but you still couldn’t ignore the fact that you were flunking college when you had actually done decently in high school. and when you arrived at damon’s door, your troubles seemed etched onto your face. your heart was plagued of guilt and failure.

“y/n?”

“you don’t know how happy i am to see you.”

“are you sure you’re happy? your eyes are, um, you look like you’re about to cry.”

your boyfriend was right. you felt upset, yes, but you didn’t even notice your eyes becoming glossier. it was embarrassing. your bottom lip quivered, continuing to think about the paper of yours and how you had managed to put an essay above damon.

“no, no! don’t cry! come inside and tell me what’s wrong, alright love?” damon said as he ushered you in and sat you down on the sofa in his tiny little living room.

he curled you up in a blanket and told you that you didn’t have to tell him anything if you didn’t want to, but you reasoned with damon that that was silly. you really did want to get your feelings off your chest. after all, you didn’t open up to anyone about your time at college yet.

“it’s just… they demand so much of me. my college. i wish i could quit but i feel like everyone expects me to graduate and succeed, y’know? i don’t want to constantly be writing over and over again and be told the same critiques that aren’t even useful!”

damon nodded, wrapping you in a tight embrace. you wept a bit, but he didn’t mind. he just continued to hold you.

he let out that cute laugh of his that brought a smile to your face before saying, “you’re succeeding, love. trust me. just because you’re not doing well academically doesn’t mean you’re not the best, right? when people come over to me after i hug you on a show night, they laugh and go ‘albarn, who’s she?’, and i have the pleasure of calling you my girlfriend. not to mention, you had better teachers at high school to help you instead of that posh professor of yours.”

and that made you cry a bit more as he began tearing up with you.

“i’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

[interact-if]

The A/PI Heritage Month interviews are coming to a close soon! For Day 8, we have lovely Aster! :chinhands:

Aster, author of Nevermoore

A/PI Heritage Month Featured Author

They say that curiosity killed the cat, but it won’t be satisfaction that’ll be bringing you back. Again. And again. And again.

The simple act of visiting your parents turns into something much more than what you were expecting when your car suddenly breaks down in the middle of nowhere, and you find yourself right beside a small town that’s engulfed by the trees.

Some of the residents you met right away were welcoming enough, happy to try and lend a helping hand when they can. But their smiles seemed more apologetic than happy, and their eyes looked at you with regret.

You never really did understand why that was…

Until you died.

So now, you are an unwilling participant in an endless cycle of death and resurrection. And the more you learn about the bloodstained history of the town and the past of its people, the more you'll get tangled up in a web of secrets that threatens to keep you there forever.

So welcome, newcomer… to Nevermoore.

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

Q1: First of all, introduce us to your project! What is it about?

Nevermoore is planned to be is a supernatural story wrapped in a little horror bow about a cursed town that’s both lost to the trees and lost to the ages. Relatively normal lives can still happen there...well, as normal as it gets when not only is aging put to a pause, but dying isn’t even a permanent thing. And the duration of the stay, as far as the town is concerned, is forever.

And unsurprisingly, these effects of the town are barely half of the secrets and mysteries that it holds...But the question is, does the latest new resident that ‘accidentally’ stumbled across it (spoiler alert that’s you) really wants to know what they are?

...Perhaps some things are just better left forgotten.

Q2: If it’s not too spoilery, what are you most excited about your project?

Oh, there’s so many scenes and reveals I want to get to already that it’s hard to choose! But if I had to be specific, the one I’m most excited in writing out is Sterling’s (an RO) backstory! I don’t mean to play favorites or anything, but I like to think that their backstory as having the most Hollywood movie levels of drama and intrigue.

Sterling was honestly the first character I made for this story, even before the MC, so I can’t help myself in having some fun with this!

Q3: What inspired the current project you’re working on?

Believe it or not, Nevermoore’s first iteration was supposed to be a very specific, very self-indulgent AU fanfic of this piece of media I was into back in like, 2014? The drafts of that had remained in my Google Drive, unchanged and unworked on, that is until about two years ago when I discovered the wide, diverse world of interactive fiction.

Inspired to create a story to share with others, I ended up reviving those old documents. The plot and the characters had to be massively overhauled to make it more my own of course, and some inspiration was also been taken from shows like Stranger Things and Dark for their eerie and secretive small-town aesthetics.

Q4: Do you pull from your own identity for inspiration? How has that been reflected in your work?

...Admittedly, not so much. It was an embarrassingly lack of foresight on my part (as a first generation Filipino-Canadian), because it somehow never occurred to me that I can, in fact, add characters who are like me into my own writing. Well, lesson learned. Good news is that I already have some side characters planned who’ll be Filipinothat will show up later on in Nevermoore’s demo, as well as have a Filipino RO in a future wip. The latter of which I am very excited about!

With that being said, I will share that MCs parents in the story are actually loosely based on my own parents who were Filipino immigrants! I won’t elaborate on what parts, but I’m planning on integrating some more of their personalities in the upcoming patch. I really want dedicate those characters to them, since they’ve already sacrificed so much to bring me and my sibling here in Canada to have a better life! :)

Q5: What’s been your experience so far? With writing, with the if community...

There’s no doubt in my mind that getting involved with the IF community has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, despite being incredibly internet shy at first. I’m glad to have meet so many amazing IF writers and readers, and I definitely wouldn’t have gotten as far as I did with my projects if it weren’t for our constant support, help, and hype for each other.

This community has been so wonderful and welcoming, and I can’t wait to see it grow even more!

Q6: Do you have any future projects in the works?

At least three so far, actually! Nothing is fully established yet, just some concepts and vibes. But the genres are high-fantasy, postapocalyptic-ish, and sci-fi.

The first is about a character who’s an aspiring writer (heh) that suddenly finds themselves ‘isekaied’ into the fantasy world of the still-incomplete book they were working on. The second is about an immortal from the dawn of humanity trying to live through the endof humanity ft. zombies(?). And the third is about a volunteer of a cryosleep experiment gone wrong and ends up waking up 1000 years in the future instead. It seems here that my brain won’t let me rest and is telling me to try my hand in as many genres I can haha!

Q7: Finally, what piece of advice would you give to fellow authors?

This is advice that I still have to work on following myself but: Don’t stress too much on your first drafts, it’s called that for a reason! Focus on getting the basic ideas/dialogues/etc down and don’t be afraid to write ‘badly’, since there’s always time for you to polish it into something you’re happy with later on!

Otherwise, you’ll only get into this cycle of editing the same sections over and over, and that can burn you out before you even have the chance to work on the parts you’re actually excited for!