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lemoncrushh · 6 months

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Tattooed Heart - Part VI

SUMMARY: You are a cocktail waitress at a swanky lounge. Harry comes in one night, and you instantly dislike him. But another encounter eventually changes your opinion.

PAIRING: Waitress Y/N x Artist/Tattoo Artist Harry

TROPES: Enemies to Lovers

MUST BE 18+ TO READ

WORD COUNT: 8.9k

STORY PAGE

“Hey, gorgeous! How are you? I’ve been so worried about you!” John exclaimed enthusiastically into the phone.

“I’m pretty good, actually. How are things at Zelda’s?” While you didn’t necessarily want to know the answer, you’d always considered John a friend and knew he had your back. Which was why you decided to give him a call.

“Oh girl, things have changed dramatically since you left!”

“Really?”

“Yes! We got a new manager. His name is Rafael, but we’re allowed to call him Rafi. He’s a dish and a half, let me tell you! Not like that last asshole.”

You chuckled. “Good, I’m glad for you.”

“Yeah, sucks for you though! If only you could have stayed. Hey, want me to put a good in for you with Rafi?”

“Um…no, that’s okay, John. I’m kind of happy where I am.”

“Seriously? Where’s that?”

You told your friend about working at the cafe. Then proceeded to tell him how Harry got you the job.

“To make a long story short,” you said, trying to do just that, “he’s not the jerk he appeared to be. And…well…now we’re dating.”

“Hold up! Stop right there. Rewind! I need to hear everything, Y/N! EVERYTHING!”

You laughed at the way John enunciated every syllable. And you’d expected as much. For the next hour, you went into every detail with him like he requested (at least as much as you were willing to divulge), and by the time you finished, it was time to get ready for your date with Harry.

“Oh my God, girl, that’s so crazy!” squealed John. “But I’m happy for you. If you’re happy.”

“I am.”

“Good. Just don’t forget about me, okay? Pop in some time, maybe with Handsome.”

“I will,” you promised.

After pulling on a pair of jeans and a stylish top, you brushed your hair and touched up your makeup. You were meeting Harry at his place, where he was making you dinner again, and then you were going to a movie. It seemed to be the first Saturday you were both off since you’d met. And you were looking forward to having a normal, mundane date night.

The last couple weeks had been both hectic and amazing. Since that evening at the gallery, Harry had been extremely busy finishing up his moon series paintings. Donovan McNulty had still been showing interest in Harry’s art, and specifically voiced that he wanted to know the minute his newest pieces would be available. And you’d been picking up extra shifts at the diner to make a little extra money. But any moment you were both free had been spent together. You took turns, rotating your visits at each others’ apartments. You enjoyed leaning against his kitchen counter while you watched him cook, and Harry enjoyed teasing Shae when she was around, and nibbling on the soft spot behind your ear as you watched TV when she wasn’t there - and sometimes when she was.

Your feelings for him were growing daily, and while you told yourself it was still too soon to have such feelings, you used your free time away from him to write them down. You expressed every emotion from the way your heart skipped when you’d see him sitting in his usual chair at the cafe, to the way your body ached for him as you laid in your bed staring at the ceiling. You even included the way it had felt when you’d seen Nicolette at the cafe and at the gallery, even though Harry assured you tenfold that he had broken off all contact with her. You didn’t want to be jealous of his ex. You knew deep down that it would not bode well if you were going to take this relationship to the next level. And you definitely wanted to.

Harry greeted you with a smile as he opened the door, a glass of wine already in his hand waiting for you. When you stepped inside, you gave him a quick kiss before accepting the glass and taking a sip.

“Mmm, something smells yummy!,” you commented, turning for the kitchen.

“Chicken Piccata with roasted radicchio and sweet potatoes,” Harry announced proudly as he followed you. “It’s almost ready.”

“Chef Styles, when are you opening your own restaurant? This is way too impressive for just me.”

“You’re the only one I care to impress,” he said, pushing your hair from your neck to softly brush his lips across your tender flesh.

You reached behind you for his hands, bringing his arms around your waist. He hummed against your skin as he gave you a squeeze. The timer on the oven sounded then with a friendly chime, and Harry hesitantly released you in order to remove its contents. Watching him serve up the meal, you joined him at the table with your wine.

“I have some news,” he announced after you’d taken your first bite and raved about its deliciousness.

“Oh? What is it?” you asked enthusiastically.

“I’m having another gallery showing. For the moon series.” Harry stabbed his fork into his chicken before lifting his eyes to you.

“Are you kidding? That was quick!”

“Well, yeah,” he grinned. “I brought them yesterday for Sherrod to see. Apparently he phoned McNulty, gave him some rubbish about how brilliant they are, and he’s flying down Thursday to see for himself.”

Quickly dismissing the fact that he’d degraded his own art, because you knew he didn’t really think it was rubbish, you focused on the positive.

“Oh my God, Harry! That’s wonderful! I’m really proud of you.”

“I know, babe. And I appreciate all the support you’ve given me. You'll never know how much.”

“I have an idea,” you jested. “You spoil me with this delicious food.”

“That’s just because I can,” he winked. “And because I want to. It’s not a payment.”

“Good to know,” you said before popping a bite of sweet potato in your mouth.

“I would like your help with something, though.”

“Sure, anything.”

“Could you help spread the word about the exhibit?” Harry requested. “Maybe invite some friends? The more the better. The cocktail party was nice, but I’d like it to be a massive event.”

“Ooh, yes! I’d love to!”

Rising from your chair, you reached over the table to plant a kiss on Harry’s lips, to which he happily accepted.

“When would you like to get your tattoo?” Harry asked as you laid twisted in the sheets, his bare thigh crossed over yours, his fingertips tracing nonexistent lines down your arm.

You turned your head to the side to look at him. If it was possible, he appeared even more beautiful than ever, his eyelids heavy, his pillowy lips swollen, his scruffy jaw threatening to produce more facial hair now that the morning was nigh. The evening of lovemaking had been blissful, Harry having brought you to orgasm not once, not twice…but three times. And while you worried you’d never walk again, the man beside you looked completely fucked.

You couldn’t help but be elated by the knowledge that you’d made that happen.

“I’m not sure yet,” you whispered, reaching for his stubbly chin. “Soon, I guess.”

You felt Harry breathe out of his nose, and while he tried to hide it, you could detect the frown on his lips.

“Do you not want it?” he inquired after a beat.

“I…no, I do,” you nodded.

“‘Cause you don’t have to get it,” Harry added. “The one I designed, or any other one. If you don’t want a tattoo, it’s fine. I’ll understand.”

“No, I want one.”

Harry continued to draw his finger down your arm. You could tell the conversation wasn’t over, but you were unsure what else to say. So you let Harry gather his thoughts instead. Finally he sighed, his gaze returning to your face.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

“What for?” you asked.

“If I made you uncomfortable. It just dawned on me that I might have been a bit presumptuous with the tattoo. I know they can be very personal, and I…I should have just let you pick what you want.”

Blinking, you rolled over onto your side to face him. “Harry, no. That’s not it at all. I love the one you designed. I told you I loved that painting.”

“Then what is it?” Harry lifted a hand to brush your hair from your face, twisting the end of the strands between his fingers. “Any time I bring it up, you kind of hesitate or change the subject.”

“I…I didn’t realize,” you looked down at his chest. “I apologize.”

“Baby, look at me,” he insisted, urging your chin up. “Talk to me. Are you af-”

You stopped him mid-sentence with your finger on his lips. As you shook your head, Harry chuckled. Then tugging on your wrist, he released your hand from his mouth.

“You don’t even know what I was gonna say,” he remarked.

“Just don’t use that word.”

“Alright,” he softened his expression, returning his fingers to your hair. “Am I moving too fast for you? Is that it?”

You gulped and sucked in your lips. Then you let out a nervous chuckle of your own. “It seems ridiculous to admit that after what we just did.”

“Not really,” Harry shook his head. “Sex can be separate from feelings. Although…I’m going to confess right now…for me…it’s not. Not with you.”

“Harry…” you breathed.

“Babe…” he murmured, pulling you closer. “I reckon I’ve conveyed my feelings for you already…at least a little bit. But if you need me to back off…I will.”

You stared at him, this gorgeous man. You couldn’t believe in just a few weeks you’d gone from hating him to…whatever this was.

“No,” you argued. “I don’t want you to.”

“No?”

“No, because…I’m feeling…things too.”

Harry’s voluptuous mouth curved into a sexy grin. You felt his hand on your back, his fingers dancing up your flesh.

“I’m just…a little hesitant, I guess,” you added, “about getting the tattoo…because it’s such an intimate thing to do, you know? To get ink on my skin of something you gave me, art you designed for me. And it’s…forever.”

Harry blinked slowly with a nod. “I completely understand, love. I didn’t mean to pressure you.”

“You didn’t. It’s just me. Like you said, it’s personal. And I would feel horrible if something happened between us, and-”

“Shh, baby…” Harry interrupted you this time. “It’s okay. I get it. Take all the time you need.”

You gave him a gentle smile before he pulled you into a deep kiss. Your eyelids heavy, and sleep threatening to take over, you tugged on the sheets. Getting the hint, Harry grinned, situating the covers over you before reaching for the lamp.

“Goodnight, baby,” he whispered. “Sweet dreams.”

You hummed in agreement as he held you against his warm body, and before you could even think any more about tattoos, you were sound asleep in his arms.

The rest of Sunday and most of Monday was spent making phone calls. You promised Harry a grand party, and you were determined to deliver. After telling Shae your plan, she was more than happy to come through by offering to tell her coworkers as well as some of your mutual friends. You called John to let him know as well, and he said he was already going to ask for the night off, and maybe even bring Rafi with him…if he was available, as he put it. You also called the gallery Monday morning, unbeknownst to Harry, to speak with Sherrod yourself. He told you how excited he was for Harry’s new exhibit, which put your mind at ease a bit.

“I really want this to be special for him,” you explained. “Is there anything I can do to help? To get the word out? More advertising? Do I need to hire a caterer or something?”

“Don’t you worry about a thing, darling,” assured Sherrod. “I’m already having my secretary making contacts as we speak. And I personally phoned my caterer on Friday.”

“Oh, fantastic,” you said. “The more people we can get to come, the better. There’s just one thing…”

“Don’t worry about that either, my pet. You have my word Miss Waters will not get an invite.”

“Ohh. For some reason I thought…” you chuckled nervously. “I don’t know how art galleries work, forgive me.”

Sherrod laughed heartily through the phone, catching you off guard. “Nothing to forgive, darling. Harry and I have already spoken about this as well.”

You breathed through your nose. Of course they had.

“Thank you, Sherrod. I appreciate everything.”

“It’s going to be a splendid night, you can be sure!”

Hanging up, you felt a heavy weight lift off your chest. It was quickly replaced with a glittery excitement. You couldn’t wait.

When you arrived for your mid-day shift at the cafe, you made a beeline for Jill who was making a cold brew for a customer. The look on her face when you told her the news about Harry’s exhibit was priceless.

“Of course I’ll be there!” she squealed. “Are you kidding me?”

“Bring some friends too, okay? I want to show him all the support we can give.”

That night, you sat in front of the TV writing in your journal. You soon found yourself mindlessly doodling in the corners of the page. Harry was at work, and you didn’t want to bother him. Yet you couldn’t stop thinking about him. He truly had been the only thing on your mind all day.

“Pppfff, more like for the last month,” you admitted out loud.

Tossing your notebook to the side, you leaned back on the couch and ran your fingers through your hair, letting out an exasperated sigh.

“Jesus Christ, what am I doing?”

Getting up from the sofa, you slipped on your shoes, not bothering to change out of your lounge-at-home outfit - a dark green tunic and black leggings. The only effort you made was to brush your teeth and touch up your lip gloss before heading out the door.

The neon sign in the window seemed to glow brighter than you remembered, an enticing greeting to lure you in. Not that you hadn’t already planned to go inside.

Swinging the door open, you noticed an empty waiting area and counter. Smooth, instrumental jazz played through the speakers as you peeked your head through the doorway to scan the tattoo stations, but still saw no one. You were just about to walk through the shop to Harry’s office when you saw Kyle emerge.

“Oh, hey,” he grinned. “You’re Y/N, right?”

“Yes,” you nodded, happy that he knew. Surely he didn’t remember you from the last time he’d seen you in the shop, but perhaps Harry had told him about you and he put two and two together. The idea made you blush a little.

“Harry’s in the back. I’ll go get him for you.”

Before you could retort, Kyle disappeared through the doorway from which he’d just appeared. And within seconds, your handsome, cheery boyfriend replaced him.

“Hi, babe!” he beamed. “What are you doing here?”

You shrugged, shyly. “Came to get my tattoo.”

His eyes widening, Harry stepped closer to you. “Really? Are you sure?”

Licking your lips, you nodded. “Positive.”

His dimples on full display, Harry pulled you into an embrace. You could feel his heart beating in his chest as he whispered in your ear. “I’m so happy.”

Then stepping back, Harry gestured toward his station. “Go ahead and have a seat. I’ll get everything ready and tell Kyle he can go home.”

“Oh!” you mouthed, surprised. Harry disappeared into the back room again before you could argue.

Situating yourself in Harry’s chair, you gazed at the art on display around his station as well as photos of various clients’ tats. While a few pieces looked to be fairly common, most of them were exquisite, no doubt one-of-a-kind works of art. You were staring at a large dragon piece on someone’s back when you heard a voice behind you.

“Bye, Y/N,” Kyle called. “Have a nice night.”

“Oh, thanks. Same to you,” you waved just as Harry walked up.

“You didn’t have to make him leave,” you said under your breath. “You’re not closed yet, are you?”

“I am now,” Harry wiggled his brows before walking to the front door and locking it, turning the OPEN sign to the CLOSED side.

With pursed lips, you tried to hold back a smirk as Harry returned, his own smirk tugging on his mouth.

“Slow night?” you inquired when he sat down on his stool.

“You would not believe. That’s why we were in my office. Kyle helps me with my website.”

You hummed in acknowledgement as you watched Harry get his tray ready just like he had the day you’d brought Shae. That already felt like a lifetime ago.

“You always surprise me with your music choices,” you commented as you listened to the soft jazz.

Harry chuckled with a nod. “This is my focus, slash wind-down music. Since it was slow, I switched it from grunge whilst we worked on the website.”

“I like it,” you grinned.

Harry gazed up at you from under his lashes before his eyes roamed down your body. You felt a tingle as his gaze made its way back up to your face.

“What?” you couldn’t help but ask.

“Was just recalling the last time you were sat in this chair.”

“Oh my God, Harry,” you blushed. “Please tell me you sanitized it!”

His eyes squinting as he giggled, Harry scooted closer to you. “You’re too much, babe.”

“Why, because I like cleanliness?”

“No, because that’s your first thought. It certainly wasn’t mine.”

You stared into his jade eyes that were now inches from your face, the irises appearing to have a dark line around them.

“That was…um, some kind of night,” you murmured softly.

“Indeed, it was.” Harry’s hand landed just above your knee then before he slid it slowly up your thigh.

“Hmm,” you nodded. “Are you trying to seduce me again?”

Harry puffed out a chuckle. “No. Don’t reckon I had to try then either.”

Dragging your tongue across your teeth, you focused on his mouth and the way his hand felt on your leg. “Fair enough. What do you remember most about that night?”

“How sweet your pussy tasted on my tongue,” he quickly replied, as if he’d had his answer ready before you’d even asked the question. “And how you tugged on my hair and your thighs trembled as you called my name.”

“Harry…”

“Oh, it was much louder than that.”

You blushed again, but this time you didn’t bother hiding it. Leaning towards you, Harry placed a soft kiss on your lips. Followed by a second, and a third. By the fourth, your fingers were in his hair, his tongue in your mouth. You reveled in the sensation, urging him with your own. When a gentle moan escaped your chest, Harry’s hand that had been on your thigh made its way between your legs. You began to grind against him in your seat, knowing your leggings and panties were already soaked through. His other hand traveled underneath your t-shirt, and when his fingers met your bare skin, you gasped.

“Are you…,” you gulped, “planning to eat me out again on this chair?”

“No,” Harry shook his head, a devilish smirk on his face.

“Oh.”

“I have other things in mind,” he added, echoing the exact words he’d said to you that night before taking you home.

“Oh…”

Harry sat back on his stool and raised a brow. “I thought you wanted a tattoo, love.”

“Harry Styles! Are you teasing me?” you exclaimed.

Giggling with glee, you noticed his eyes dancing. “Maybe.”

“Rude!” you frowned, tugging your shirt down. Your pussy still throbbing from his hand, you pouted.

“I’m sorry, baby. It’s my fault. Seeing you in this chair…it turned me on, and I got carried away. I do want to play. But I think we should get started on this tattoo, don’t you? It’s gonna take a bit.”

You nodded with a sigh. “Okay.”

Harry gave you a peck on the nose and one on the lips. “Now, did you decide where you want it? The ink, I mean,” he smirked.

“So, I had considered getting it on my side, like down my hip. There’s plenty of room to make it big. But then I changed my mind.”

“Too much?” Harry asked.

“Nope. Not enough.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nobody’s gonna see it there. Except you. And while the idea is sexy, I’d rather have the art my boyfriend designed to be in a spot everyone could see.”

“Baby…” Harry breathed, his hand over his heart.

“I know, I’ve been hesitant about this,” you explained. “About us. But I have no clue why. We’ve spent all this time together. You’ve shown me time again that you’re interested in more than just…a fling. Every time I’m with you, I feel butterflies and moonbeams and…all the cheesy things.” You let out a nervous sigh as you looked down at your hands, then back up to his gorgeous face. “The truth is…I’m crazy about you, Harry.”

“Sweetheart,” he cried, pulling you into another kiss. Then leaning his forehead against yours he murmured, “You make me so happy.”

“Good,” you grinned, your right hand on his cheek as you held out your left. “That’s why I think we should put it right here, below my elbow, down the inside of my arm.”

“I think that would be lovely,” he agreed, misty-eyed. Then he kissed the inside of your wrist before rising from his stool. “Let me go get the stencil, and I’ll be right back.”

When he stepped away, you suddenly felt butterflies in your tummy, and not just from the notion of getting a tattoo. You’d almost told him more than you’d planned. The truth was, you weren’t just crazy about him. You were falling for him. Hard. Perhaps you had been falling bit by bit every day. And you were finally willing to admit it to yourself. But you weren’t quite sure yet if you were ready to say it to him. It still felt too soon. But you loved the look on his face when you’d revealed what you had. His delight gave you hope that perhaps he felt the same.

Harry returned with a big smile on his face. Placing the stencil next to him, he pulled on his gloves. Then reaching for the rubbing alcohol and a cotton pad, he eyed you.

“Still wanna do this?” he asked.

“Definitely,” you beamed.

Taking your arm, he gently rubbed the soaked cotton pad down your arm, from the elbow to your wrist. Then he took a new disposable razor and gently shaved the area, just like you’d seen him do on Shae, back when you still hated him. The idea brought a sour taste to your mouth.

“You okay?” he asked again.

“Yeah, sorry. Was just…thinking.”

“About?” Harry raised a brow.

“How far we’ve come in just a short time.”

Harry’s face softened. “I think about that a lot.”

“You do?”

“I thank my lucky stars every fucking day that you forgave me. That you were able to see the real me and change your mind. I only wish…”

“What?” you asked.

His gaze seemed to burn into you as he looked deep into your eyes. “I wish we had met some other way. Like some random day at the cafe, or maybe here when you’d come with Shae. Or maybe even at Zelda’s on a night I was alone. Some other way that you could have met the real me instead of that prick I pretended to be.”

You sat in silence as you absorbed Harry’s words and watched him place the thermal paper on your arm with the stencil. When he peeled it off was when you spoke.

“What would you have said?”

“When?”

“If we had met in a different situation. What would you have said to me?”

“In which scenario?” he smirked.

“Let’s go with the first one. Obviously I wouldn’t be working at the cafe. But let’s say I came in one day that you were sitting there working on your iPad.”

Harry chuckled loudly, catching you off guard. “Well, I can’t really say for sure, can I? There are other factors involved.”

“Alright,” you agreed. “But you said you’ve thought about it. What happens in your…wish?”

You swore you caught a tiny bit of color in his cheeks as Harry pulled his tray closer to him. “We have to get serious now, babe. I’m about to stick a needle in your arm.”

You puffed out a breath in humor, then sat up straight in your chair. “Fine. Mark me.”

Harry’s nostrils flared as he chuckled at your joke. Then he made a few adjustments to his tattoo gun before getting to work. Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt as bad as you thought it would. You watched as Harry traced the stencil, starting with the dripping moon at the top. After every stroke, he would wipe your skin. He seemed so focused, so gentle. You stared at his face for a little while, and every time he’d bite his lower lip, it sent your heart all aflutter. When he finished the outline, he looked up at you.

“Still doing okay?”

“Mmhmm,” you nodded.

He gave you a smile before returning his focus to your arm. You were both quiet for a moment until he spoke again.

“I probably would have stared at you for a bit.”

“Huh?”

“At the cafe. If you had been sat near me at a table by yourself. I would have kept sneaking glances at you, but making sure you didn’t notice.”

“Well then, how am I supposed-”

“At first,” he interrupted. “Then I would have wanted you to notice. When we finally made eye contact, I’d have smiled at you.”

Lifting his head, Harry gave you just the smile he was referring to. And your insides ignited.

“I would say that’s very cheesy and cliche, but it’s not. I like it.”

“So what would you have done if I’d come over to your table and asked you your name?”

“I would have told you, and hoped to God you’d ask me for my number too.”

“Alright then,” Harry snickered. “That’s one scenario. But it didn’t happen.”

“It’s fine, Harry,” you said. “Something else happened instead. And we’re here anyway.”

“Yes, we are.”

You watched Harry continue on the tattoo, the moon starting to look realistic with the shading. As always you were in awe of him and his talent. Just like when you would watch him work at the cafe, you found yourself completely mesmerized. It was utterly sexy to you, from the way he focused on his project at hand, to the curls that framed his face and neck, and even down to the way his own tattooed arms flexed as he worked. As you studied him you let out a deep breath, feeling the wetness pooling in your panties again.

“Still okay?” Harry suddenly asked with a tiny smirk, as if he’d noticed.

“I’m wonderful,” you answered dreamily.

“You need to move your elbow a little?”

“Oh. Yeah, sure,” you nodded as Harry sat back to let you. Your arm had been in one position for a while, and you were starting to feel the effects.

“Okay, I’m good,” you commented as you reached your arm out again. “Tell me about your next project. What are you working on?”

“Just a second,” Harry muttered. As he scooted closer again, you wondered what he was doing until he beckoned you with his gloved hand. “Kiss me.”

You grinned widely before you happily obliged, giving him a few more kisses than he’d asked for just for good measure.

“Mmm, thanks babe. It’s hard to be around you for this long without touching your lips.”

“You’re welcome. And you’re the sweetest.”

With a wink, Harry returned to his task, this time moving onto the shading of the heart. “I actually haven’t started anything new yet,” he replied to your previous inquiry. “With the moon series now at the gallery, I’ve kind of been trying to finish up some older pieces.”

“Oh? I didn’t know you had anything that was incomplete.”

“Yeah. You saw the citiscape one, right?”

“Yes, that was gorgeous! That wasn’t finished?”

“Not yet. I keep feeling like there’s something missing, but…I dunno. I’m also not sure if I want it to be a series or a stand alone piece.”

“Well, whatever you decide, I know it’ll be amazing. As always,” you offered emphatically.

“Thanks, babe. This is why…” he left his thought unfinished as his tattoo gun rounded the edges of the heart.

“Why what?”

Harry lifted his head, giving you an easy grin. “Why you’re a wonderful lady.”

You watched Harry finish the heart on the tat while you thought your own heart could burst. You thought he was going to say it for a second, but you understood why he hadn’t. It seemed like such a mundane moment to express those three words.

Changing the subject, Harry chatted with you lightly about the upcoming exhibit, about the cafe, about food. You told him about your pal John, and how he was planning to come as well as Jill and Shae.

“Thanks again for doing this for me, babe,” he grinned. “I truly appreciate you.”

“Of course, Harry. I honestly think I’d do just about anything for you.”

Raising his eyebrows, Harry gave you a sexy look before quickly looking back down at your arm. “I think we’re done, babe.”

“Oh. Oh!” You tore your eyes from his to gaze down at your new tattoo. It was extraordinary to say the least.

“It’s…so beautiful, Harry,” you choked. “I love it!”

“It’s yours,” he commented. “And only yours.”

Your eyes began to well up with tears, making your vision too blurry to even see it. But you knew he was right. You had a one-of-a-kind Harry Styles work of art on your arm. And you couldn’t be more proud.

“C’mere, you can look in the mirror,” Harry beckoned, gesturing to the mirror behind him on the wall.

Standing in front of it, you wiped your eyes with your fingers until Harry handed you a tissue.

“Don’t cry, love,” he cooed. “You’ll make me think you made a mistake.”

“Of course not, silly man.” You stretched your arm down to look at the full length of the ink on your skin. “No mistakes here.”

“I’m glad,” he sighed, wrapping his arms around you and resting his chest on your shoulder as you took in the image of you both in the mirror. Grabbing his phone, Harry then took a couple of quick photos of your arm. “Let’s go ahead and put a covering on that so it won’t get infected.”

“Oh, how long do I have to do that? I wanna be able to show it off this weekend.”

Harry smirked at your pout. “Just a few days. You should be okay by then.”

Once again, you sat in his chair while he applied the dressing and bandage. Then he explained to you the aftercare, which made you giddy. You knew it was his job, but you enjoyed seeing him being professional.

“I’ll give you some information to take home with you as well,” he added as he removed his gloves, “but right now, I really need to touch you.”

You opened your mouth, but before you could make a syllable, Harry slid his hands under your jaw and pulled you into a warm kiss. He soon deepened it, his tongue invading your mouth as his hands traveled around your neck to your hair. When he finally released you enough to take a breath, you gasped.

“Wow.”

“Uh huh,” he voiced so low that you barely heard it. Then he licked his lips before sliding his hand up your thigh like before. “Exactly.”

You stared at Harry, his eyes darkening as he fingers began to tease you between your legs.

“So, what…mmm,” you swallowed at the sensation, “what other things did you have in mind?”

“Oh, you really wanna know?” he quirked a brow.

“Mmhmm. Yes, please.”

“Hmm, you ask so politely. But I might wanna keep teasing you like this. Make your legs tremble until you can’t stand it anymore. Until you’re begging for me to make you come.”

“Mmm,” you moaned again as he applied more pressure with his thumb, his hand cupping you, still over your clothes. “I don’t think I would be opposed to that.”

“No? You like being teased?”

“I like the way you tease,” you replied, breathy.

A low chuckle rose from his throat, and you felt the vibration as his face was just inches from yours. Then he surprised you by rising from his chair, his hand leaving your throbbing core to tug on the bottom of your t-shirt.

“Off, sweetheart,” he demanded.

You lifted your arms for him to remove your top, careful of your freshly tattooed area. You nearly came unglued at the sight of him biting his bottom lip.

“Sorry I don’t have on fancy undies,” you said, looking down at your cotton bralette.

“Are you kidding?” he snorted before he helped you remove that garment as well, his hands quickly palming your bare breasts.

You closed your eyes, reveling in the pleasure of his calloused thumbs skimming across your perky buds. He was so light and gentle with his touch, that you almost pouted, but you knew this was his intention. To drive you crazy.

He kissed you again, his hands still on you until he backed away suddenly. You opened your eyes to see him removing his own shirt, his tattooed torso on display. Your mouth watered instantly, an automatic reaction now.

You and Harry had good sex. There was no denying it. Not that you liked to compare, but Harry was the best in bed. He already knew what you liked, what buttons to press and which ones not to (not that there were many). But the best thing about the sexual part of your relationship was that it was never boring. Even when it was just quick fucking, it was amazing. Even when it was sweet, sleepy sex, you were left satisfied.

So Harry implying - albeit obviously - that he wanted to fuck you on that tattoo chair was no surprise. But the thrill was still as strong as ever. Everything he did excited you. Jesus, just looking at him sent a bolt of electricity down to your cunt, making you squeeze your muscles together.

Letting out a breath, you reached for his belt, pulling it from the loop and releasing it. He gave you another smirk as you tugged on his jeans with your non-tattooed arm, frustrated when the button wouldn’t come loose.

“Let me help, baby,” he growled, keeping your hand in position as he covered it with his own hand and helped you pull. The button popped open, the zipper separating along with it as your tug was determined. Then Harry assisted you further, his hand guiding yours down the front of his pants.

“As if you had to help me with that,” you scoffed with a grin.

“Maybe I wanted some help,” Harry eyed you.

“I don’t think that’s necessary either, big boy.”

His sexy low chuckle vibrated through your hand while you found you were a hundred percent correct. Standing from the chair, you pulled him from the confines of his jeans, the pink, bulbous head of his hard cock greeting you.

“Mmm,” you sounded. “Maybe I could help a little.”

You released his erection for just a moment to run your hands down his chest, your fingernails raking over his pecs and the light dusting of chest hair around his nipples. But it didn’t take long for Harry to reach for your tits again, squeezing them in his hands.

“Wait…I thought I was supposed to be teasing you,” he groaned.

“So you don’t want your cock in my mouth?” you teased back.

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “Fuck, babe, I don’t know anymore. You’re so hot. I’m so turned on.”

“I can see that,” you grinned, wrapping your palm around his cock again. Before he could protest, you fell to your knees.

“Babe…” you heard as you barely licked the tip.

“Just let me, Harry. Please? I’m begging,” you looked up at him with puppy dog eyes, batting your lashes.

Letting out a breathy chuckle, Harry gave you permission with a nod and heavy eyelids. You took your time, wetting the head first, then slowly dragging your tongue underneath his length, from the base to the tip. Then licking your lips, you wrapped them around his hard cock, giving a generous amount of suction.

You heard his heavy breathing get louder and faster as you steadied yourself with your other hand on his hip. His own hands were everywhere at first, starting in your hair, then trying to paw at your breasts, then finally settling back on your head, gently urging and guiding you.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so good at this.”

You’d never considered yourself a pro at giving head. You couldn’t even take all of him, for fear of choking. But he didn’t seem to mind. Your mouth and tongue along with your hand seemed to do the trick. After a few more swirls of your tongue, you allowed your other hand to reach underneath, grabbing his balls. He moaned loudly, another expletive rising from his chest.

“Baby. Baby, baby, stop. I don’t wanna come yet.”

Popping off of him, you smiled up at him, saliva dripping from your chin. You enjoyed pleasuring him, but you were excited to move on to phase two. With another low groan, Harry ran his thumb across your chin, guiding you back up to your feet.

“Y/N. I need to be inside you. Now.”

“Aw, you mean I don’t have to beg?”

Harry didn’t bother replying with words. Instead, he pulled down your leggings with fervor, your panties clinging to them so they slipped down together, pooling around your ankles just like Harry’s jeans.

“Turn around, sweetheart,” he patted your hip while wiggling his brows.

More electricity surging through you, you happily did as you were told, bending over the tattoo chair. You felt Harry run his hands down your ass before grabbing your hip and situating himself at your entrance. He slid in slowly at first, like he always did in order to get adjusted. But as soon as he let out a gasp that echoed your own, you knew it wouldn’t be long before he started to move faster.

Harder. His fingers dug into your flesh as he pounded into you. You bit your lip at first, then thought it silly since you were alone. As you began to moan, so did Harry. The sounds intertwined with the sexy, slow jazz were intoxicating. And when Harry bent over to grab your hair and talk in your ear, you thought you might come.

“Pussy’s so good, baby. Been thinking about it all day. Always so wet for me.”

“Mmmm,” was all you could manage.

“You like me fucking you like this?”

“Yes!”

“You like my hard cock pounding into you, my balls slamming against your wet pussy?”

“God, yes!”

“Yeah. It’s mine, innit? Your gorgeous cunt is all mine.”

“Mmhm.”

“Tell me.”

“It’s all yours, Harry. I’m all yours.”

Moaning in your ear, Harry slowed down. You wondered for a moment what was happening as you knew he hadn’t come yet. Then you felt a chill on your back as he stood up, his hands at your hips.

“Let’s get these off the rest of the way,” he said with heavy breaths, indicating your pants.

Blinking, you wiped your eyes and toed off your shoes, stepping out of the leggings as you watched Harry do the same with his jeans.

“Sorry, babe, for the interlude,” his voice cracked. “I wanna try something else.”

“Okay.”

You watched as he readjusted the chair to lay flat. Then he laid down on it.

“C’mere, babe,” he beckoned. “Climb on top of me.”

You shifted your eyes nervously. “Are you sure we won’t break it?”

“Only one way to find out,” he smirked.

Sucking in your lips, you climbed on with Harry’s assistance. You giggled at the awkwardness of it all as you straddled him.

“Just a second, honey,” he said when you were about to aim his cock. “Let me look at you.”

You glared at him, once again wondering what was going through his head. He acted as if he’d never looked at you before. But as you smiled down at him, his own lips grew into his dimpled grin, making you warm all over. He brushed your hair from your face, his thumb grazing across your cheek.

“You’re like an angel,” he murmured. “You take my breath away.”

“Harry…” you exhaled.

“I’m all yours too, honey.”

You beamed at him, knowing it was a reply to your previous admission. Then lifting yourself onto your knees, you looked into his eyes as you sank down onto his cock. You hissed as he closed his eyes, both of you already sensitive.

You rode him with determination, needing to chase the release. After bouncing on him a few times, Harry took your left hand and held it to his chest, making sure you didn’t put too much pressure on that arm. You giggled awkwardly as you tried to keep your balance, but your boyfriend was good at helping.

As you started to reach your high, the burn imminent both in your thighs and your core, you began to cry out.

“Harry….it’s so good, baby…oh, God…Harryyyyy.”

Bucking his hips against you, his hands both now on your own hips, he stared you in the eyes.

“I know, honey. Tell me.”

“Mmmmm…I’m all yours, Harry,” you bit your lip, throwing your head back.

“Y/N. Look at me.”

Blinking, you gazed down at him, his gorgeous face flushed. He groaned in pleasure before wrapping his arms around you.

“Tell me, baby. I wanna hear you say it.”

“What?”

“Tell me you love me.”

Your eyes widening, you stared at him in…no, not disbelief. Because you absolutely believed it.

“I know you feel it, baby. Just like I do. Tell me. Please.”

You’d slowed down your hips, Harry having paused his thrusts. But as you began to resume, moving faster, his gorgeous mouth hanging open, you nodded.

“I love you, Harry.”

His lips twitched before he licked them, then pulled you to him for a kiss.

“I love you, too, Y/N.”

A tiny giggle escaped your throat as realization kicked in. You were in love. And all his.

You rode Harry to the finish, reaching orgasm just before he cried out those three words again. He kissed you deeply, his tongue letting you know how pleased he was. His head falling back, his eyes closed in complete bliss, the biggest, dopiest grin on his face.

“Say it again, babe.”

You kissed his salty chest and neck, then gnawed on his stubbly chin.

“I love you,” you sang softly before kissing his lips.

“And I love you,” he echoed while your face hovered over his, your hair surrounding you both like a secret garden. “So much.”

Chatter filled the room and your ears as you suddenly heard the clink of a fork against glass.

"Ladies and gentlemen! A toast! To our man of the evening!" announced Sherrod. Harry turned to him with a bashful grin. "It has been my utmost pleasure to host this soiree for such an incredible artist. He is a viable part of this community, and I know you all join me in congratulating him at completing another remarkable series. To Harry Styles!"

As everyone clapped and cheered, raising their glasses, you heard Stan shout, "Hear, hear!"

Smiling at your boss, whom you had been thrilled to see arrive with his wife, you watched him make a taste of his own.

"Harry, my son, I've watched you sit at that same table in my cafe for over a year, doodling on your notepads and…thingamajig…" he gestured, making the guests chuckle. "To be honest, I didn't understand why my coffee shop, or why that table…or why only flat white lattes…" more laughs erupted as he patted Harry on the shoulder. "But I knew you had talent. And ambition. I'm proud of you, son. And I'm proud to say I knew you when."

"Hear, hear!" Sherrod and others cheered, raising their glasses again.

"Thank you, Stan. Thank you Sherrod," Harry choked. "This whole night means more to me than you'll ever know. All of you. I'm so humbled that each of you came tonight. This truly was special. I'll never forget it."

Harry's eyes met yours during his final words. Then as the chatter resumed, he stepped forward and pulled you into a long kiss.

"Alright you two," said Jill behind you. "Don't go find a room just yet. I need to take pictures."

You giggled as your friend held her phone up and you posed for several photos with Harry, including one where you were kissing him on the cheek. Satisfied with her shots, Jill squealed with joy and announced she had to take some more with her other friends next to Harry’s art.

A waiter came by then with more champagne, and you gladly took another glass, handing him your empty one.

“I’m so happy to see you having a good time,” beamed Harry, his arm still around you.

“I may have had a few too many of these,” you snickered, covering your mouth with your hand.

“No matter. We have that limo, thanks to you.”

“You can actually thank Shae. It was her idea.”

“Where is Shae, by the way?” Harry turned his head to search for your roommate. He spotted her next to the shrimp, talking to Kyle. His chest shook with laughter as he turned back to you.

“What?” you asked. “Kyle’s a nice guy, right?”

“Yeah. Too nice. She’s probably giving him an earful, and I’ll have to hear about it later.”

You playfully slapped his arm in your friend’s defense, though you knew he was right.

“Good idea, by the way, showing off your tattoo right away. I already have some clients lined up.”

“That’s awesome!” you cheered. You figured one of them was the nice lady you were talking to last time, since you saw her again soon after you’d arrived.

“Harry, my good man, congratulations!” another voice sounded. You both swiveled to see Carlo, his arm already stretched to give Harry a hug.

“Thank you so much for coming, Carlo.”

“Anything for you, my friend! Y/N, I don’t believe you’ve met my beautiful wife, Jossalyn.” Carlo gestured to the stunning tattooed brunette to his right.

You both gave each other salutations before Harry pulled her into a hug as well. Then they announced their exit and said their goodbyes.

“You have a lot of friends and admirers, Harry,” you commented.

He nodded. “Seems that way. I need to remember to count my blessings.”

You lifted your hand to his handsome face, and he covered it with his own, gently shutting his eyes.

“Y/N! We have to be going, guys!” John shouted, breaking your reverie.

“John, thank you so much for coming!” you told him as you squeezed him. “And for bringing Rafi.”

“Told you he’s a dish,” he whispered in your ear.

You nodded as you watched his partner shake hands with Harry, then you did the same. As soon as they left, Harry leaned into you.

“Rafael is interested in my art.”

“Your art, or something else?” you quirked a brow. “I saw how he looked at you earlier.”

Harry cackled. “I promise it was strictly a professional conversation. But if it makes you feel any better, I’ll remind him I’m taken.”

As he slid his arm back around your waist, you shook your head as you smiled up at him. “I was teasing you. I wouldn’t blame anyone in this room for wanting a piece of you…professionally or otherwise. But I appreciate the sentiment. Also, I trust you.”

“Yeah? I’m glad, baby.”

Harry brought his hand up to slide under your jaw, and he was just about to kiss you when the other man of the hour interrupted.

“Harry, lad, I have an early flight in the morning, so I must bid farewell,” said Donovan McNulty. This evening he wore a black suit with a red bowtie. You smiled at him, holding out your hand.

“Mr. Nulty, thank you so much for coming. You’ve made Harry so happy.”

Donovan leaned in and kissed your cheek, then the other. “My dear, I reckon it’s the other way around. Besides, it looks like he’s found his happiness right here, with his muse.”

He gave you a wink as he squeezed your tattooed arm before shaking Harry’s hand and waving goodbye.

The party continued for another hour or so. You and Harry both gave a lot more thank yous and farewells. Then when no other guests remained (Harry insisted on seeing everyone out to show his appreciation), Sherrod finally shooed you out to the limo.

“Thanks for helping with everything, sweetheart,” cooed Harry as he necked you in the back of the car.

“I didn’t do much,” you conveyed. “Sherrod set up most of it.”

“No, you did more than you know. I love and appreciate you.”

“Same here, handsome,” you grinned before caressing his soft lips. “By the way, I have something to show you when we get to your place.”

“Yeah? Is it under your dress?”

You giggled as his hand wandered under the flimsy fabric of the new dress you’d purchased just for this occasion.

“No,” you playfully tugged at his wrist. “It’s something I left there while we were getting ready. It’s in your nightstand.”

“Handcuffs?”

“No! Harry Styles, I’m trying to be romantic and open, and you’re being naughty.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, babe. I can’t help it. It’s just where my mind went.”

“It’s okay,” you tutted.

“What is it?”

“You’ll see.”

Harry held your hand as he walked you to his apartment. The glow of the moon shone through the balcony doors, punctuating the end of the moon-themed evening like a full stop. Although you weren’t ready for it to end just yet.

You laid your clutch bag on the counter next to his keys and wallet before he pulled you in for yet another kiss. Throwing your arms around his neck, you let his tongue tangle with yours, tasting the champagne you’d both consumed. Then he lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carried you into the bedroom.

“Are you gonna show me now?” he asked between kisses after he laid you down.

You simply nodded, then reached for the bedside table, opening the top drawer. You retrieved a small notebook, the one you’d been writing in. Opening it, you flipped to the page you wanted to show him. When you handed it to him, he looked at you inquisitively.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“Remember when you asked me if I had a hobby, something that I was passionate about? And I mentioned I used to write?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You inspired me.”

With an easy grin, Harry sat back on the pillows, crossing his ankles. You sat next to him, your legs tucked underneath you as you bit your bottom lip nervously.

Brilliant, blazing, glistening, glittering

The celestial satellite shines by the light reflected from the sun

Its beautiful mystery soothingly captivates us

All aglow, seemingly from within

Feminine energy that affects the rise and fall of the tides

A big balloon, luminous and serene

These are words used to describe the moon

But they are also words to describe my heart

For my heart is now a big balloon

All aglow and alight from within

From the light of your heart, the sun

Brilliant, blazing, beautiful

Wondrous and astral, my heart is now home

Lowering the notebook after reading your poem, Harry looked at you.

“It’s kinda short,” you offered with a hesitant chuckle. “But it took me forever.”

“Baby,” he said, scooting closer to you and reaching for you. “This is beautiful.”

“Really?” you crinkled your nose, still not completely confident.

“Yes, baby, really. I love it. I love you.”

Your expression softened, easing into a smile. Harry pulled you to his chest, brushing your hair back from your face.

“Thank you for writing it, but even more, for sharing it with me.”

“I figured I should, since you share so much with me.”

“That’s what I mean, love. Not only did you share your heart with me, but you put it into words on paper. It’s stunning. I’m…”

His hands still in your hair, he paused his words.

“What?” you asked as you saw a tiny tear escape from the corner of his eye and down his cheek. “Harry…”

“Can’t help it, baby,” he choked as you wiped the tear. “I’ve fallen so hard for you.”

“Me too,” you whispered.

“Tell me again, Y/N.”

“I love you…” you said, his lips capturing yours once again before you could say his name.

You didn’t mind that he asked you to say those words. In fact, you liked it. You would tattoo it on your heart if you could.

THE END

And there we have it :). Please like, comment and consider following me if you enjoyed it! Feedback is love x.

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sen-no-kotowari · 1 year

Text

PGR S Fire Lee Character Profile

Good day! I hope everyone's enjoying the Spiral of Chronos Patch over on JP Servers (*‘ω‘ *) There's so much Lee content popping given that it's July so in a way the Lee enthusiasts are having a buffet field day! (≧▽≦) That said, here is S Fire Lee's Character Profile! I will be posting the translation his Character Version Image Song some time this week as I'm working with a personal project that I may possibly post as well so look forward to it if you're interested. In comparison to the inital release in the CN servers, they re-recorded most of Lee's lines so what you hear on the video link may not necessarily reflect what you hear in-game as of late in the JP servers. You can learn more about the expanded lore on Lee on the cut down below!

Voice Line Data

Motion Voice Lines

Lobby Voice 1

Lee: (Checks gun) ...Can't I stay here even if I don't have any other business with you? I wish to do my gun maintenance in a quiet place. The maintenance room's too crowded.

Lobby Voice 2

Lee: I was worried when I heard that Murray became the Cerberus Unit's leader if he could ever manage those rowdy bunch and all... But it seems like I was worried over nothing. He's all grown up now. However, I think the Gray Raven Unit is okay the way it is. Heh, it's because you won't do a break dance while there's an ongoing meeting... You won't, right...?

Lobby Voice 3

Lee: Humans have long since used an hourglass to measure time. While I can't say it's accurate, it was, however, the most optimal way of showing how time cannot be reversed―that's right, we, who exist in a three-dimensional plane, can't wind back time. Humans can't alter the past even if we come to regret it. ...What about me, you ask? I don't have any regrets. Even if there are countless branch points in each moment, I will surely find my way back to your side.

Raise Affection Level

Lee: Thank you, this is just what I need right now. With this, I can also complete that support robot I promised to finish― ...Huh? This is a present for me? So there's even a fine distinction made when it comes to gifts, huh...

Repetitive Taps

Lee: ...What the- ...To think there's this fully grown troublemaker inside the Raven Unit's base huh. Shall I drag you to the juvenile detention center then?

Log-In

Lee: You're here now. ...If I can never meet you again at some point in the future, I might feel sad from loneliness. ...Forget it. We have a mission to accomplish, let's get going.

Online for a Long Time

Lee: I'll do the remaining ones left, just go rest. Now! I've had enough of looking at how you look like a loitering zombie, you're spoiling the pleasant scene around us.

AFK

Lee: ...Commander, commander? ...(Sigh) You actually fell asleep from exhaustion, huh. You left your combat terminal open, guess you can't settle down without it... Really, I ought to tuck you in somewhere quiet. ...You lost some weight again... How much work did you take on this time...

Shake

Lee: ...Wha— Commander! ...Heh, you sure don't get tired of this same old trick.

Offline for a Long Time

Lee: Where have you been until now?! ...If you had made up your mind to walk out from here, I wish you could've at least said a proper goodbye then. ...No, it doesn't matter now, since you returned here in the end.

Introduction and Formation

Structure Acquired

Lee: Lee of the Gray Raven Unit, reporting. Yes, I'm back now. Other than needing to get along with each other, let's skip the unnecessary greetings and get right down to business, Commander.

Level Up

Lee: What accumulated was just the combat data itself, so I can't say for sure if I've improved. This is still nowhere near the model's limit.

Advancement

Lee: If it's a rise in rank from you, then its meaning also changes. ...Understood, I'll work hard to keep your expectations in check.

Model Improvement

Lee: The peak of evolution means breaking through one's limits as well as knowing there's a realm ahead of us we neither can understand nor have yet to encounter. ...Although taking a step inside that realm would require a significant sacrifice to be paid, I have the determination to see through it all.

Skill Upgrade

Lee: How about giving me some credit? The thrusters are now more responsive and more efficient because of this process. Seems like I'm quite accustomed to this model more than I thought.

Equipment

Lee: Testing auto preset rate, all-green. Measuring microwave distance, all-green. Since this is a highly precise piece of equipment, it's important to check that each module is working fine.

Add in Team

Lee: If you notice some sort of cue mid-battle, get away from my projectile's trajectory ASAP. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Assign as Captain

Lee: Calm down, it's okay to leave everything to me. I'll protect you guys.

Mission Accomplished

Lee: Not bad. You're becoming more efficient.

Daily Small Talks

Voice Line 1

Lee: No, I'm not mad or anything. This is how I usually am.

Voice Line 2

Lee: Rather than forcing them to cooperate, wouldn't it be more efficient to assign people to what they're good at?

Voice Line 3

Lee: ...Excuse me? I don't think it's my fault that the atmosphere became awkward. ...There's something you want to talk about? If it's about the issue on the Science Council's IUO Standard No. 9, I'd oblige to discuss it with you at great lengths though.

Voice Line 4

Lee: I promised that I'd never keep secrets from you ever again so if there's something you want to ask me, feel free to ask me anything.

Voice Line 5

Lee: (Checks gun) ...Can't I stay here even if I don't have any other business with you? I wish to do my gun maintenance in a quiet place. The maintenance room's too crowded.

Voice Line 6

Lee: You want to see the non-combat functions added to the weapon I've modified? Why do you— ...Guess it can't be helped then. I'll only show it to you once so keep your eyes peeled.

Voice Line 7

Lee: If we have nothing else to do today, want to train with me at the base? I still need to make some adjustments to this model, but it'd be challenging to adjust the result calculations without your cooperation.

Voice Line 8

Lee: I knew this part is... it'd be faster if I disassemble it once and reassemble it... Hm? Well, I'm currently doing maintenance on your powered suit. I should just let the guys at the Cosmos Engineer Union handle that...? It's fine if it's just regular maintenance, but they don't know your movement habits. Whenever you draw out your tactical knife from your left side, there's some kind of resistance around this part, right? I've already adjusted that problem.

Voice Line 9

Lee: Even if all of creation would continue to evolve, the collective matter of space will never change for all time—death follows life, and energy is concurrently generated from annihilation. If one wishes to obtain something, one must pay the price for it one day, without exceptions... Commander, behind every "miracle" that happens... correspond a sacrifice greater than you could imagine.

Voice Line 10

Voice Line 11

Lee: Updating the existing tactics, thinking outside the box, and even complying and sympathizing with the enemies... If I'm being honest, I couldn't understand your style of leading us at first. But now, I can have complete faith in all your decisions.

Voice Line 12

Voice Line 13

Lee: You saw what my real name was in a file? ...Oh, well, it's not something confidential anyway. Besides, I am Lee of the Gray Raven Unit now. What I thought was a temporary code name given to me became a part of who I am today and is something I take great pride in. I plan to fight as "Lee" right until the very end.

Voice Line 14

Lee: Tactical cooperation, huh... That kind of thing doesn't exist back where I used to live. There was only constant betrayal and plunder at that place. Everyone became desperate to cross over that infernal sea, so they pushed others off to the edge and used them as their bridge... But now I don't have to think about it. Even though I repeatedly told myself I don't believe in things like luck, I could say that joining the Gray Raven Unit and crossing paths with you... was the most fortunate thing that ever happened to me.

Voice Line 15

Lee: "You're never alone," huh? ...I think those words are indeed solemn. No... It's exactly because they are important that I don't want to see the person who said those words to me suffer. So "it'd be a lot better than trying to bear everything by myself," hmm... I used to think that way before, but in the end, only an even more tragic end awaits. I get what you're trying to tell me. Commander, we'll support each other from now on and get through this, no matter what.

Raise Affection Level

Voice Line 1

Lee: Since we're all on the same team, there's no need to personally hand out resources to every single member.

Voice Line 2

Lee: Why are you suddenly... Don't you have anything better to do?

Voice Line 3

Lee: Equivalent exchange... I'll never forget the principle behind it. All of the things I've received from you are engraved in my heart.

Voice Line 4

Lee: You're giving this to me? ...Uh, thanks...I guess.

Voice Line 5

Lee: Here, I finished fixing your mini robot. While I'm at it, I've also added a voice memo function to it. Huh? You...want to change the default voice data to my voice? S-stop thinking about those kinds of ideas!

Voice Line 6

Lee: ...Did you give this to other people too?

Voice Line 7

Lee: You've always remained the same even from way back then... Ah, no. I'm not complaining about it. It's... fine for you to stay the same for who you are.

Voice Line 8

Lee: Where the heck do you find these things... Wait a minute, I never said I don't need this, right? The things I've already received are mine now.

Voice Line 9

Lee: You want to try out the new weapon I use? Well, it's still in its prototype stage, so I don't think it's at a level that can be mass-produced though. There's sort of a trick in each of its module settings, do you want me to teach you those tricks? It's complex, but it's quite remarkable as a weapon. I'm the only one who currently has mastered it anyhow.

Voice Line 10

Lee: You don't need to go out of your way... I'll respond to your expectations. ...So long as it's not relatively unreasonable, that is.

Voice Line 11

Lee: So long as I'm here, you don't have to worry. Everything's going to be all right.

Voice Line 12

Voice Line 13

Lee: You're expecting me to spew some affectionate words? You better stop expecting then. Well if you're that desperate, let's see what kind of stereotypical lines you'll show me. ...Ack! O-okay, that's enough...! That's plenty enough for an example!

Voice Line 14

Lee: (Sigh) ...Hm? Is there something troubling me, you ask? Not really. The cost of sealed warehouses is currently on the rise, so I'm thinking about what's the best way to store your belongings. ...I-it's nothing, forget it!

Voice Line 15

Lee: While I'm not a person who'd easily make promises, from the very beginning until this day... Rather, until the lasting future ahead of us, I'll live up to my promise that I'd always stay by your side no matter what.

Voice Line 16

Lee: Here you go, my gift in return for everything. It's a mini locator made from the old power core that was extracted when my model was undergoing maintenance. So long as you always have this, you can know my location even if comms get cut off. If you push the button, I'd also know where you are. If you wish for me to be by your side, I'll absolutely come running to your side, no matter how far apart we are from each other. I promise.

AFK

Voice Line 1

Lee: Why are you staring at me? Is the strategic report written on my face or something?

Voice Line 2

Lee: When we were kids, I made this toy called "Sippy Chicken"[1] so I could explain to Murray the principles behind heat energy. ...Why am I suddenly talking about it? That's because you were frequently nodding your head low enough to hit the desk, just like that toy bird.

Voice Line 3

Lee: Commander, about the result of that experiment we did the other day-... Commander? No one's here, huh... Quite likely, considering they're the type of person who can't stay still. ...I guess I should wait for a while then.

Voice Line 4

Lee: Be good and go to sleep already if you're feeling drowsy. ...There aren't any emergency missions right now so it's fine if you don't push yourself too much. ...Just relax and close your eyes now, will you. I'll wake you up when needed.

Voice Line 5

Online for a Long Time

Voice Line 1

Lee: Are you attached to that chair or something?

Voice Line 2

Lee: Sure is nice if you could remember one good way to shirk off work.

Voice Line 3

Lee: Seems like I need to attach a system that could pick up mental fatigue from the brain wave activity on that chair, but... If the numbers reach a dangerously low range, it'd immediately force you to sleep― ...hm? You'd like to work for just a bit longer? I trust you know what'd happen if you lied through your teeth then.

Voice Line 4

Lee: I'll do the remaining ones left, just go rest. Now! I've had enough of looking at how you look like a loitering zombie, you're spoiling the pleasant scene around us.

Voice Line 5

Lee: Is this some kind of revenge plan against everyone in the Gray Raven Unit? ...What am I insinuating, you ask? Hah. Are you trying to prove your point that humans could also work for three days straight without any rest like us Structures? ...We promised that we both won't work ourselves to death ever again, so you should also get some rest now.

Log-In

Voice Line 1

Lee: Good morning, you awake now?

Voice Line 2

Lee: That's good, the time you arrived sure is on point. Keep up with that. What time did I arrive? Just a few minutes earlier than you.

Voice Line 3

Lee: I thought I heard a loud, boisterous voice from afar but, don't tell me Kamui dropped by again, did he?

Voice Line 4

Lee: Commander, you came just at the right time. About those prospective experiments I mentioned yesterday, I just thought of one more idea for that.

Voice Line 5

Lee: You're here now. ...If I can never meet you again at some point in the future, I might feel sad from loneliness. ...Forget it. We have a mission to accomplish, let's get going.

Voice Line 6

Lee: I'm not spacing out, I'm just thinking about the Monty Hall problem[2]. If I eliminate the doors that haven't been opened, which of the remaining doors will you show up on... Hm? There's only one door in this room...? .......(clears throat)......

Voice Line 7

Lee: Last night, did you stay up late again? Taking good care of yourself is also one of your responsibilities to your team. I'm sure you know that better since you were an honor student, right? Your average sleeping time as of late is just― ...Huh? Why do I know, you ask? ...Obviously, I learned about it from Laplace's demon[3].

Voice Line 8

Lee: Good morning, did you have a good night's sleep? ...Yeah. Should we try a different greeting for tomorrow since today's greeting was okay? Since I have to greet you every day starting today, I wonder if it'd be better if we decide together on which greeting we both like. So tell me, which do you prefer?

Offline for a Long Time

Shake

Voice Line 1

Lee: Graagh... ...No, it's not your fault. My Sea of Consciousness just suddenly went into an overload state. There's no need for you to worry about it... Stay still... Yeah, I'll recover from this in a minute.

Voice Line 2

Lee: ...Wha— Commander! ...Heh, you sure don't get tired of this same old trick.

Voice Line 3

Lee: If you get thrown off balance, I'll reflexively catch you and act as your cushion. ...As if. I'm kidding, let's stop this conversation. Please be more careful so you won't get hurt in the future.

Repetitive Taps

Voice Line 1

Lee: ...What the- ...To think there's this fully grown troublemaker inside the Raven Unit's base huh. Shall I drag you to the juvenile detention center then?

Voice Line 2

Lee: You think I won't fight back from this?

Voice Line 3

Lee: For the times you've poked me, I'll be repaying you exponentially. ...Hmm, so it's at a total number of 133637 times then. Now then, are you prepared to accept some "repayment?"

Activity Task Full

Lee: Activity level's reached the maximum level. We should leave our work progress here for now.

Battle Dialogues

Battle Start/Character Switch

Lee: Simulation complete. Commander, we'll emerge as the victors here.

Voice Line 1

Lee: I'll be the one to reign over your time!

Voice Line 2

Lee: There's no escape from my line of sight!

Voice Line 3

Lee: Your survivability rate's hit zero!

Voice Line 4

Lee: You can't escape now!

Voice Line 5

Lee: This is the end!

Ultimate Skill

Lee: Perish... for all time!

Light Damage

Lee: It's nothing serious, let's stay focused.

Heavy Damage

Lee: Graagh... I won't let it end, not here, not this moment.

Incapacitated

Lee: I'll stand back up if I have to... No matter what...

Friend Support

Lee: You did well holding out, leave the rest to me.

QTE

Lee: Target locked on, fire at max power!

Battle End

Lee: Guh! It's too early to let up your nerves, Commander.

Structure Documentation

Document Detail 1

BPN-06, Attacker-type, Model Name: Hyperreal―an Omega-type Specialized Structure model developed by the Science Council based on Kurono's Inverse Device research as well as the meager information deciphered from the polymerized fragment. All of its functions are fine-tuned to the model's stability, making it impervious to the Punishing's side effects.

Document Detail 2

Both the model's energy distribution capability and the computational capacity modulator are strengthened, allowing the model to perform numerous computations. In addition, to ensure the model's stability, all its external equipment uses synthetic nano-carbon metal tubes, and their thermal conductivity is increased to make the equipment lightweight.

Document Detail 3

Only a person who extensively understands small arms could utilize sophisticated and complex heavy artillery like Lee's composite armament. Although it could adapt to every battlefield, it's difficult to operate and warrants a highly stable model, currently making the Hyperreal model the only one capable of wielding this weapon.

Document Detail 4

Although this model that takes pride in its peerless computational abilities can execute multiple simultaneous high-precision computations, the burden on Lee's Sea of Consciousness constantly reaches its critical point. However, nobody knows the actual situation behind it since Lee never reports it, persuading himself that "the data deviation in his Sea of Consciousness doesn't trigger so it won't cause any impediments to my day-to-day operation."

Document Detail 5

While the development of the Omega-type Specialized Models that centered around Liv progressed, Lee willingly volunteered to participate since Liv's Sea of Consciousness was damaged during the Solaeter's development, stating that his Sea of Consciousness was "far more stable." The first time he learned that he was originally the first choice for the Omega-type Specialized Models was after he had formally participated.

Document Detail 6

Lee couldn't remember the whispers he hears in his dreams or the confusing sceneries he sees. However, if one were to ask him if he could feel the fear and worries looming when one fights alone, he would calmly deny it―because he knows for a fact that there would always be someone who'd light the beacon behind him and illuminate the way back to where he belongs, no matter how far away he is.

Rumors and Secrets

Secret 1 The exterior appearance of Lee's new model is quite different thus far, so several people talked about how the Hyperreal model looks. However, Lee himself never once noticed that he became a hot topic of conversation around him.

Secret 2 Since Lee used to often work late at night back when he was with Kurono, he still has the habit of burning the midnight oil. When he first arrived in Eden, there used to be a rumor circulating that a ghost would appear in the maintenance room when the clock strikes at midnight.

Secret 3 Even though he didn't have any interest in philosophy at first, Lee started reading books about "the concept of time" and "time and sentience" and seems to have been taking notes on the topic ever since he changed to his Hyperreal model.

Secret 4 During his spare time, Lee adjusts the weapons and exoskeleton of the other members of the Gray Raven Unit to match each of their habits. He voluntarily does this kind of work because previously "our equipment's weapon alignment was off-point and because of that, the Commander had a dislocation injury during our practical combat training."

Secret 5 Lee tried to modify his model and hide one reflective part as he failed to understand the design intent behind it. However, one researcher told him "that part regulates heat circulation" and gave up on the idea.

Secret 6 His hobbies are solving numerical puzzle games. Everyone in the Gray Raven Unit tried it once, but the only person who understood the fun behind these logical games is the Commander.

Secret 7 He dislikes having Kurono as the conversation topic. Even though he seemed to just lightly sweep Vera's badgers under the rug, Lee feels bitter about the fact he used to work for them in the past.

Secret 8 He added the Gray Raven's logo on the inner side of the model's coat himself. He hasn't told anyone about it, but everyone noticed the addition when his model underwent modification enhancement.

Secret 9 Even though he preferred his old hair color, the development staff from the Arts Association told him that "they don't have the material for that particular color in stock." Left with the choice of either choosing a different hair color or, as suggested by Asimov, "make a hat-type Inverse Device," Lee chose the former.

Secret 10 Lee modified his right arm to attune himself with his new weapon, but it became difficult for his arm to pass through the right sleeve of his coat post-modification. He had accidentally torn the sleeve apart thrice just by putting strength in his arm, and when he finally had enough, Lee decided to wear the right side over his shoulder instead.

Secret 11 When they were little, he and Murray made a "secret code" only they know about that the two of them use during their transmission with each other. Although Lee hasn't used their secret code in a while, it appears that he used it again in a recent transmission he received from Murray.

Secret 12 The reason why Lee seldom cooks is that the moment he acquires condiments and spices, the whole kitchen turns into a large-scale laboratory―he will only season the food if the condiment is weighed in milligrams. Surprisingly enough, however, it did make him good at brewing coffee because the Commander drinks coffee every morning.

水飲み鳥 (Lit TL: Water Drinking Bird) or Drinking Bird/Dippy Bird/Sippy Chicken is a toy heat engine mimicking the motion of birds drinking from a water source.

The Monty Hall problem is a probability puzzle type of brain teaser named after the host of an old game show titled "Let's Make a Deal."

Laplace's demon is a notable published articulation of causal determinism on a scientific basis written by French scholar Pierre-Simon de Laplace in the 19th Century.

#pgr #pgr lee #punishing gray raven

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nowis-scales · 1 year

Note

Hello!! I absolutely adore all your fates headcanons! They’re always perfect for each character, they feel so canon to me 😤 Thank you for sharing :D

Just out of curiosity, do you have any echoes headcanons 👀 There aren't any birthdays in the game so I realized there wasn't an opportunity for your fun character birthday posts, but I figured I'd ask!

Oh my gosh, thank you so much! That’s very kind of you to say!

Hopefully you are able to enjoy some of the Echoes ones I have just as much. As I’m not quite done the game yet, I can’t say that they’re 100% totally and perfectly canon, but nonetheless I hope they satisfy!

Also, quick special thanks to @fayesdiary for agreeing to read these over for me even though I never actually made them do it lol. I still appreciate the willingness!

Now without further ado, the Echoes headcanons:

1. Potentially a pretty popular headcanon but… I definitely feel like Tobin is gay. The only thing is, is that by the start of Echoes, he hadn’t fully come to terms with that yet. Some time around the ages of fourteen to fifteen, he’d probably realized that he was starting to have some… feelings regarding other guys, but repressed it because, well, Gray and Alm both liked girls, and Kliff never really seemed to care. It would be weird for him to be the odd guy out, right? So he told himself he liked girls. As he grew older and began to grow feelings for other men, I think it definitely bloomed into him deciding that okay, he’s bisexual, but he still likes girls, right? Might even like them best, yeah. But by the end of the war, he knows he just can’t keep denying who he is, and finally decides to announce to the world who he is. He’s a little nervous about telling his friends, but they’re very supportive — especially Alm, although he’s a little bit embarrassingly overzealous about it sometimes.

2. When Clive was older and travelling around, he always made a point to bring back souvenirs for Clair. Whenever he got home, she used to always sit down with him and ask for stories about the world that he saw. Of course he’d indulge his beloved little sister, telling her everything he could think of — sometimes even going as far as writing down specific things he thought she’d be interested in while he travelled, so he could tell her later. Then, he’d always end off his stories with the souvenir present just for her. Sometimes it’d be something like a glittery hair pin from a large city, and other times, it would be something as simple as a bag of homemade cookies from a family’s store in a small town. Nonetheless, Clair always loved and treasured them, and looked forward to it every time.

3. Lukas is amazing with little kids. Being a knight, they already tend to flock to him thinking that he’s a cool hero, but his chill demeanour and patience meshes well with them. He’ll listen happily as a little girl tells him stories about the adventures her dolls take, walk with a toddler as they stop to show him every single stick and rock and bug that they find, and he’ll even teach the kids a few basic fighting moves if they ask. I don’t know if I’d say that Lukas is the kind of guy who would necessarily want to have kids, but they do like him and he likes them, so I think it overall just ends up being a very positive, reciprocal relationship.

4. Alm was very prone to getting injured as a child, not because he was clumsy or anything, but because of impulsivity. Gray could say, “Hey, Alm, you should go do this!”, and Alm would just… do it. If he succeeded, it would be funny, but if he didn’t… it often left Gray trying to comfort him while Mycen tended to his wounds. After Alm got stung by an entire nest of bees, eventually Mycen had to lecture the two boys on not doing stuff like that anymore. Occasionally, though, they might still do it — for old time’s sake.

5. If and when Mae and Boey are ever to enter into a drinking contest against each other, there would never be any actual winner. Neither of them would be all that willing to relent until they were like, totally hammered, so they’d just end up having to call a truce. That is, if they even remember that they were having a drinking contest. They could just as easily get so engrossed in having an argument or spirited conversation that they’d forget. Still, no matter what happens, Celica and Genny still have to make sure their stumbling, silly derrières get to bed safely.

6. Faye wasn’t always as intense as she is about Alm in the main game. It got steadily worse over several years. When everyone was little, it just started out as a simple crush. She liked to be around Alm, because he was nice and funny and he always made sure that the other boys included her. However, after the incident with Slayde happened, she became more interested in the idea of Alm as a hero. Soon she fell in love with him as more of an idealized Prince Charming figure, and her obsessiveness towards him just seemed to grow from there. He was perfect in every way and he saved her in her moment of need, and he would always be there if she needed him. Between her original crush being pretty normal and her sense of security now tied to him, she doesn’t quite gather that her actions are kind of creepy.

7. Saber would definitely try to play it off like he’s not, but he’s honestly a little uneasy around wyverns. Something about their beady little eyes… he doesn’t know why, but there’s something about them he doesn’t trust. Not to mention that a mouth full of sharp, scary teeth? No thank you. He’s not afraid to be near one, of course, but he still won’t get really close if he can help it. The wyvern can stay over there and he’ll approach it if he wants to, otherwise, he will not make eye contact. He is also VERY adamant that he is not afraid, to the point of being just a bit overly defensive.

8. Rinea has a really complex relationship with Berkut. Once upon a time, she really was madly in love with his charm and demeanour, but his fascination with war always made her uncomfortable. At first maybe she thought it was a matter of perspectives, and that maybe through discussion, they might be able to achieve better conclusions and solutions. However, as time went on, it became clear that neither of them would change their point of view. War is Berkut’s pride, and the more he immerses himself in it, the less she feels like she can trust him. Every time she tries to tell him how she feels, he shuts her down or ignores her, so she feels like she can’t talk to him about it. It leaves her wondering if she should go through with their engagement after all.

9. Palla, Catria, and Est probably all gave their pegasuses matching nicknames. Think like Tic, Tac, and Toe or Sun, Moon, and Star. Naturally, it was Est’s idea, but her big sisters were happy to indulge her just this once. Like the girls, the pegasi are bonded to one another, so it ended up making sense that their names all match together. The pegasi also have bonds of trust with each different sister. They will obviously prefer theirs, but because of this trust, they will let the other girls ride them if need be. If Palla were to be stranded somewhere without “Sun”, but Catria could get to him, then “Sun” would happily allow her to board so they could handle things. It’s like they’re all family in some way!

10. When Celica and Alm lived together in Ram, they used to have bad pun competitions. Usually at the dinner table. Some of them were really bad. At first they thought that Mycen was just indulging them by not saying anything, letting them have their little moment, but then there was this one night where Alm was stumped on coming up with a retort to something that Celica said… and then, out of the blue, comes the WORST pun you’ve ever heard from Mycen’s mouth. Like the single BIGGEST dad joke. Alm and Celica were shocked into silence for about thirty seconds, until they erupted with laughter. They agreed that nobody else at the table could win that night other than Mycen. They spent the rest of their time together trying to top that one — years later when they’re married, they’re still probably trying.

11. Genny has always been kind of shy, and is grateful that Celica, Mae, and Boey all spend time with her. There was no way she was going to get away from Mae without a little bit of friendship, and of course Celica would want to be kind to her at all times because that’s just Celica, and Boey would feel the need to apologize if Mae ever got overbearing… and then, it was like Genny blinked, and suddenly she had all these friends! She’s still pretty shy around other people — when Celica’s army joins up she mostly hangs around with any of those three people if she can get in there — but she’s definitely pushing herself to do a bit more when it comes to friends. It’ll just take some practice!

12. Leon has superb judgement when it comes to romantic partners. Is it important that your parents approve? Sure. But does your Leon approve? Because if something’s wrong with them, he’s going to be able to tell right away. It’s like his sixth sense. When he initially told Kamui and Valbar of his special talent in the area, they didn’t believe him. Yet, the next time they spent the night in a town during their travels, he identified couples that would break up and who would be the cause. Sure enough, they later left that village only to return later… and quickly discovered that most of the separations had come to pass. Kamui and Valbar were totally floored.

13. Though she insists that she’s never had any lessons, Sonya is quite possibly the best ballroom dancing partner than anyone could ask for. She’s so graceful and gentle, and incredibly patient, that others just can’t help but find her a beautiful presence when watching and a comforting presence when partnered with her. In all truth, it was her sisters who taught her when she was a girl, after reading about romantic tales from storybooks. Dancing alongside them, the two of them guiding her movements so kindly… she tries to do that for other people as well, and give them a dance worth enjoying. After all, the act always fills her with so much warmth. They are some of her most precious memories.

14. Celica is very sentimental, and will keep just about any present she is given. She still has sloppily-made friendship bracelets that Mae made for her, a plush bunny that Faye sewed for her when she was living in Ram, and many of the books that were passed down to her from her teachers at the Novis Monastery where she grew up. Anything you give her she’ll treasure, and it’s very sweet, but it also means she has a hard time getting rid of some things. That flower crown Alm made for her three weeks ago might be wilting and falling apart, but he made it with love! Surely she can’t just throw it away, right? Right? Okay, perhaps it is making a bit of a mess…

15. Mycen, while strict, is the local Grandpapa. He didn’t really ask for it, either, but after settling in Ram, the children seemed to just sort of flock to him as a war hero. It’s how the other kids all ended up befriending Alm, because they were curious about Mycen. He doesn’t mind his status too much when it comes to the kids, but it always feels a bit weird to have the other adult villagers eyeing him in any particular way. He’ll mostly keep his distance from the adults where he can, but he’ll always have time for the kids. Even years into the future after the war is over and they have moved out of the village, he would still welcome them back to see him if they want to come.

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docholligay · 1 year

Text

Ep 6: Lottie

Hello! This is about up to Episode 6 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 6 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the sixth episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me. Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

So we’re clearly leaning into the idea that Lottie is, in fact, gifted. I don’t MIND this, per se, and I don’t want to come off as disappointed by it, because I’m not, but I will be annoyed if it comes down to the oversimplification of “Lottie’s got a gift and it was wrong to ever medicate her because she is not crazy” I want Lottie to be gifted AND ALSO CRAZY. I want her to be right like…oh I don’t know, is 70% of the time something we can work with? But I also want the difficulty of it, and I want having to deal with her in day to day life to be somewhat difficult. I want the challenge of it.

Do I think the show is going to go fully into “Lottie was never crazy?” I honestly do not know. We’re half way through the show, but I feel like I’m constantly learning new things about what they are looking to do theme-wise and tonally.

And don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying, “If they make Lottie not crazy, it’llbe shitty writing” I think there are plenty of great ways to write it, it’ll just disappoint me, personally. Which a work is allowed to do.

I DO love how they make fun of Lottie. There is absolutely no reason under heaven or over hell to believe that Lottie is fucking…psychic. If I am in that cabin, I am thinking Lottie is having a fucking breakdown and HIGHLY suggestible, because that is a human thing that happens, not even ~to the weak~ but it could happen to me, and it could happen to you.

Lottie is no perfect angel victim, either, and this is maybe part of the reason I assume that they are going to play it as “Lottie was never crazy,” is that they have her still snapping back and being a bitchy teenage girl, which I enjoy, I don’t want Lottie as a perfect anything, it’s just leading to part of my not necessarily true in the light of day conclusion.

So what do we think--and this is both about Lottie and not about Lottie--about the deer in Velvet? Obviously, its chosen because seeing a deer shedding velvet is just as weirdly gross as the show suggests, but it doesn’t actually mean anything about the health of the animal. It’s extremely normal. When Lottie sees it, it shocks her, but that wouldn’t surprise me given I assume she’s never seen that before. Velvet is also when they are growing something new, so I could maybe see my way to that, and to the idea that these antlers are going to be a new part of them, a wild part.

But the maggots. I know this has to be asaying something about what’s going on here, but I’m not sure what it is. Obviously, it makes for a great visual, and for a really brilliantly mounting sense of despair, and it also pushes the envelope on Taissa’s idea to leave and try to find someone. But, I don’t necessarily believe that it’s just as simple as all that.

They are starving, right? And the deer is their salvation. But at core, the thing that could save them is rotten and disgusting, but it is hidden by the idea of this perfectly healthy exterior. This, of course, could immediately relate to our girls, looking normal (Though I guess I would actually question this) on the outside, but the thing they have ahd to do to survive makes the rotten inside. Being eaten. I don’t know that it’s where we’re going, but it works for me sitting here right now.

Speaking of that deer, I see the very prominent antler placement behind Lottie’s head as she wanders out to indulge in more prophecy/insanity. I don’t generally go back when I’m writing this stuff up, because I think it leads to an…I don’t know, inauthentic? Experience of watching the show straight through. I SHOULD miss things. I SHOULD be caught off guard. Anyway, so I refuse to prove it, but I’m pretty sure the one running the whole thing when we’re consuming our heart-wearing girl is wearing a rack of antlers. Does Lottie become some sort of priestess?

Such a bold and really fresh choice, by the way, to have Laura Lee and the notion of Christianity and God be loving and good, instead of the nasty mean judgmental one. Doc I did not expect you to be caping for Christianity. I’m not, but c’mon, we’ve seen a lot of media in our time and it is now basically a stock character to have the mean, judgmental, uptight Christian and the show, not interested in dealing with stock ideas, completely takes away from that, and has Laura Lee be the first person in her life that makes Lottie feel like she does in fact have a divine gift.

I so much love the dual scenes of the attempted abortion and the baptism, because they both are baptisms of a kind, and they both are about a death and rebirth and a new life. This is particularly striking in the way that they shoot Lottie’s baptism, with her seeming to drown, to die, and then to come up with fire, filled with the Holy Spirit and new life (But also maybe predicting that Laura Lee will burn. I don’t know) I will be so interested to see how this changes the nature of Lottie’s character, now that Laura Lee is essentially telling her to believe in her visions and that will make them real. It is some of the best, worst advice I’ve ever heard.

The scene where Lottie follows the elk*, follows this wildness and goes to the altar of sorts, and lights the candle that I think is Lottie herself. And that candle becomes the pillar of fire. The thing that leads the Israelities through the desert. So this compounds on my feelings about Lottie maybe becoming a priestess, and what I think that might mean, and is it actually not going to be Jackie appearing in this struggle for leadership at all, but Taissa and Lottie?

*Human-naive elk could provide, just, so much fucking food for this group. I know they are in the Canadian Rockies. I am not going to get too far into the weeds about this but goddamn is this sometimes a rough show to know anything about the area and wilderness broadly with.

#Doc watches Yellowjackets #Yellowjackets S1 E6

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tvmicroscope · 1 year

Note

Hi! Thank you ever so much for sharing your metaphor analytics. I feel like I'm seeing YR in a completely few light after having read them.

I want to ask you (but feel no pressure to reply), if you have any thoughts on verbal foretelling based on sarcasm, fears or simply being hideous wrong. I don't even know what's it technically called. But what I mean is a lot of the stuff that August spew in at least the early episodes of S1 are foreshadowing stuff that will happen to him ("Don't use the school WiFi..., You could kill someone and...) and my personal favourite "Do we want the future king..). So my question is there are some pretty evident lines that foreshadowing events - have you seen some more subtle and systematic usage of this technique throughout S1 and S2?

Actually there is one particular line by Rosh in S1 that I think foreshadows something about Simon, that is "Where are you going?". I really love that line and the ensuing dialogue.

Hey, I really, really have to apologize for replying to your kind ask so very late. I have a huge backlog when it comes to messages and comments right now. Everyone is so lovely and kind, but I can barely keep up with it all. I have a feeling that I will have to take a bit of a tumblr break (and break from other social media platforms, as well) because I can’t do both: write my analysis posts on my blog AND keep interacting on other platforms. I'll have to choose one, and that's going to the writing itself.

Anyway, I know this is no excuse for being so embarrassingly late, but I hope you’ll forgive me for the delay because I do actually find it so very encouraging and motivating when people like you say nice things about my little blog project. It really helps me and keeps me focused, so thank you for letting me know you enjoy the close-reading analysis I’m doing on the show. I’m surprised and a bit exhilarated to find out how many people tell me they’re seeing the whole show in a new light. It’s all very, very much appreciated.

As for your question…

Yes, I totally agree with and I think you are absolutely right: Looking at throw-away lines is very important when analyzing a ‘text’ (be it a novel, play, TV show, film, etc.). When a writer sits down to write a screenplay, they obviously don’t just come up with funny lines (or sarcastic or angry lines, for that matter) to fill the page. Usually, they will try to make sure the line in question is connected to the deeper theme of their ‘text’. Everything in their ‘text’ has to fulfil a purpose, i.e. either drive the plot forward or be plugged in into the broader network of metaphorical subtext.

One of the things we have to keep in mind, though, is the fact that not every line in a ‘text’ is necessarily a metaphorical line. There are lines that are just plain text, so to speak.

In essence, you end up with two types of throw-away lines:

1) Lines on the literal level (the textual layer=plot) that have ONE meaning (even if, at that point in the story, that meaning is still obscure to us, i.e. if the line serves the purpose of foreshadowing future events).

2) Lines that operate on both the literal level (textual layer) AND a subtextual level (metaphorical layer underneath) and thus have TWO different (sometimes divergent) meanings; they can even have three different meanings, when the meta-level is involved.

Let me give you an example: August’s line in s1 during the initiation party that you mentioned in your ask about being able to ‘murder somebody here without it ever coming out’ (I’m paraphrasing). That line is most likely a case of type 1. from our list above, i.e. it operates on the literal level of the script even if we assume it foreshadows some future revelation that we don't yet know anything about. It’s not a line that’s plugged into a metaphor. It’s not metaphorical subtext; it’s text.

If August were to proceed to murder (or try to murder) someone later on. Or alternatively get killed himself. Or if we were find out that somebody else was murdered and it was covered it up, then that would give us a resolution, explain to us why the line was said in the first place and what surprising revelation exactly it was foreshadowing.

This line is however (most likely) not a metaphor. In a metaphor something else represents the concept you’re trying to allude to. Just to give you an example: When Wilhelm in episode two of season one tells Simon in the boat to ‘keep the strokes close to the surface of the water, so as not to expend too much energy’, this is clearly a metaphorical line (type 2. from our list above) because it clearly has two meanings: the literal one (rowing advice) and the metaphorical one (rather dumb and conservative relationship advice). And we instantly see that it’s a metaphor because one thing (rowing) represents another thing (feelings/relationships), one concept stands in for another one.

This is most likely not the case with the ‘murder someone’ line: Here one thing (murdering someone) literally means that same thing (murdering someone). It’s (most likely) not a metaphor; it’s not metaphorical subtext; it’s just text – even if the meaning of the text is currently obscure to us because the show isn’t yet finished.

Why am I telling you all of this (you’re probably bored just reading it because you know all of this already :D)…

Because what I’m mainly concentrating on in my metaphor posts on my substack blog is the metaphorical subtext, i.e. the metaphorical lines, the type 2. lines, so to speak. I sometimes use plain textual lines (type 1 lines) as evidence when I think they are somehow connected to a broader point I’m trying to make or reinforce an argument I’m making, but I don’t really discuss them in and of themselves.

Mainly because, with a line that still hasn’t revealed its meaning to us because it’s obscure at this point in the story, I just don’t really know what to do with it. We can speculate what it means (which is always interesting, of course), but ultimately we don’t know. It’s fun. But if it’s not connected to the metaphorical subtext, I will probably not write about it in and of itself.

Now, as for the Rosh’s line that you mentioned (and thank you again for reminding me, my brain is like a sieve sometimes), that one arguably straddles the boundary between text and subtext, between type 1 line and type 2 line: Rosh, Ayub and Simon are pretty much talking figuratively already at that point, i.e. when Rosh says, “Where are you going?” she isn't asking whether Simon is literally leaving the room, this is meant figuratively (‘where are you going in life?’). It clearly foreshadows Simon’s path that’ll lead him away from Bjärstad not just as a place, but away from the narrow confines of his working class upbringing. So far the line is not a metaphor yet (there isn’t one concept that stands in for another one like, say, ‘water’ for feelings, or a ‘suitcase’ for a burdensome role, or ‘music’ for love, or the ‘ear’ for the heart, etc.). But it’s definitely meant to be understood figuratively. So far it has had only a tragic meaning (Simon only ‘went viral’ in the context of a crime that was committed against his privacy), but when it comes to leaving Bjärstad and the confines of his working class upbringing behind, I could very well see this at some point mean something along the lines of: going to university or study music at a conservatory - something often frowned upon in a milieu with a working-class background (the age-old, “What do you need that highfalutin' stuff for? Learn a trade like everyone else in the family!”). I still have a tiny hope that, “Where are you going?” might mean the famous Verbier Music Festival. If Simon gets at least an invitation in the mail and that’s the third time Verbier is mentioned (in a much more positive light than before), I would be over the moon.

Ultimately, it’s again a line that can foreshadow a lot of things, but it’s (probably) not meant to be understood entirely metaphorically, which is also why I most likely won’t discuss it on the blog itself where I’ll try to stick strictly to the metaphors.Does that make any sense?

I feel I’ve written too much, but I hope that makes up at least a little bit for the long delay.

Thank you again for your kind words, and you’re always welcome to read more on the blog. Even if I take a tumblr break, I will keep posting a new article every week (usually on the weekend).

All the best!

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nightcolorz · 1 year

Note

Do you think the show will describe Lestat and Gabrielle relationship as romantic? And how would you prefer their relationship to be portrayed?

I absolutely do think that they’re going to go the incest route 😭😭 Just based on how Rollin Jones talks about Gabrielle and Lestat’s relationship and the way that they changed Antoine to more resemble Gabrielle over Nicolas, I think they’re going to go for it all the way. I actually get the impression that Rollin is rlly excited about that aspect of their relationship which is, well, interesting? Lol.

But honestly? I think it would be kind of weak if they didn’t address or include it at all. I v much support their choice to take away the romance between Louis and Claudia bcus I didn’t think that was necessary in the book and didn’t find that Anne Rice did a good job writing it in a way that would well, mean smth. The only point to it was “well Claudia’s an adult now” which is expressed in better ways through out the book anyway, so it just felt like uncomfortable shock value for the sake of it. I think the show handled their relationship really well, they removed the romance but still retained some of the original gross out factor by having that “which one of you are going to fuck me?” Line and making a point of reminding us that bcus of their nature as vampires Claudia’s familial role to Louis is ever changing depending on what she feels like she wants it to be. It’s off putting and uncomfortable, having these implications along with the daughter to sister thing, while being interesting and thematically satisfying, which the romance in the book wasn’t. One change I actually like that the show made!

I believe that things like incest have a place in fiction, but not necessarily a good one if they’re just thrown in bcus “oh but taboo relationships are a genre convention in gothic lit!” With no logic or thought put in beyond that. Anne Rice did a slightly better job with the incest in tvl than in iwtv, but it still felt lackluster and out of nowhere to me. She seems to just enjoy throwing uncomfortable topics into her books bcus she can, which is disappointing bcus a lot of the time u can see the potential that it could’ve had. I think Gabrielle and Lestat’s relationship is conceptually very interesting, incest and all. Lestat and Gabrielle’s strange line crossing Mother and son relationship is rooted in a lot of things. The way vampirism demolishes traditional familial dynamics and changes self perception, perception of sex and romance, and societal expectations in general. Gabrielle’s envy for Lestat and unhealthy desire to live through him sometimes, Lestat’s trauma inflicted desperation to be nurtured and mentored with no one to do that for him, and so on.

The strangeness of their dynamic in summarization comes from Gabrielle’s desire to be a companion, or a brother, or a friend to Lestat once she’s a vampire and Lestat’s conflicting desire to be nurtured and mothered by Gabrielle as his son. Lestat wants an eternal mommy and Gabrielle wants a friend who understands her life experiences, and so they clash. And if they’re gonna have gross incest-y kisses about it to make this boundary crossing come across in interesting ways? Sure I’m cool with that. Anne Rice didn’t do it well in my opinion, since she only explored these concepts minimally, but if it’s done well I can see it being great. I think incest as a thematic tool can absolutely work, but if it’s just there to be there and say nothing, then I want nothing to do with it.

In conclusion if Rollin and the amc writers handle the tvl incest in a way that’s similarly thoughtful to their handling of Claudia and Louis’s dynamic then Im looking forward to seeing it, lol. But if they just throw it in for shock value, like they have done with other topics and scenes, then eughhh get it away from me. And I don’t think I’d be satisfied if they did away with the incest vibes completely for the sake of sanitation, but I doubt they’ll do that anyway.

Thank you for sending the ask aaaaaaa!! I have so many iwtv and tvc thoughts I’m blushing and kicking my feet over how ppl wanna hear them! This is smth I’ve thought a lot about unfortunately lol

#tvc #the vampire chronicles #vampire chronicles #vc #gabrielle de lioncourt #lestat de lioncourt #lestat and gabrielle #the vampire lestat #iwtv #interview with the vampire #amc iwtv #tvl #amc interview with the vampire #claudia iwtv #louis de pointe du lac #Tvc meta

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j-a-nuary · 2 years

Text

Carrier

The First Call

masterlist | forward >

Stray Kids Urban fantasy AU (feat. Ateez from time to time) | A “carrier service” exists, seemingly only to get people (usually women) home safe after the trains stop running.

Heavy on bad boys with hearts of... some kind of shiny metal, probably.

Warnings: MC has a rough night (implied sexual harassment), some inner monologues are focused on nothing but sex and violence (not acted on).

-----

For Shim Tempawan, this definitely qualified as a shitty situation.

Her ex had shown up, so of course she had latched a little too hard onto first guy that gave her a second glance. The guy had picked up the tab, so of course she had drank more than she normally would. The guy expected to be “repaid” for his tab, so of course they had argued. He had eventually decided that she was more trouble than getting laid was worth, so of course she ended up being dumped in this run down parking lot on the outskirts of the city.

No buses or trains ran out here, not that they were running at this time of night anyway. No taxis thought the area was worth their time. She was stranded, standing in an all night convenience store that had shatter-proof glass between her and the cashier.

After paying for the worst cup of coffee she had ever tasted in her life, she finally hit the call button next to the contact labeled as “Carriers” in her phone. Lifting the phone to her ear, she heard a midi version of some pop song float through the speaker.

Great. Real classy. This is probably another mistake.

She stepped outside. The air in the store was stale, smelling slightly of mildew. Not that being outside was much better, but at least she could pretend it was “fresh” air. She lifted the cup to her lips, wincing at the taste of what seemed to be tar mixed with mud.

“Do you know your location?”

The liquid masquerading as coffee had distracted her so effectively that she almost dropped her phone at the first word.

“I, uh,” she quickly tried to recover enough to think through the few minutes she had spent in the stranger’s car, “I think I’m on the west side of the city?”

“Is the GPS enabled on your phone?”

She nodded.

“Miss?”

“Sorry,” I'm definitely still drunk, “yes. It’s on.”

“Alright. Stay on the line while we locate you.”

The muzak returned, this time playing the world's most compressed file of Overdose. Idly, Tempawan wondered if that was really the most customer friendly option.

A ratty green car drove by. Without really knowing why, she tried to hide behind the light pole as much as she could. An eon seemed to pass before the voice returned.

“Convenience store to your right? Strip club half a block up?”

“What?”

“Your surroundings.”

“Oh…” for the first time she actually took a close look at the area she had been so gracelessly abandoned in, “uh… Yes.”

“The nearest carrier is on a motorcycle. Is that alright?”

“Sure. Fine. Whatever." It wasn't fine, but she just wanted this night to be over. Whatever it took to get home was what she would do.

“The carrier will be there in approximately five minutes. Would you like me to stay on the line until then?”

“No. It’s fine.”

“Good.”

“Than-”

The line went dead before she could get the short phrase out. She clutched her phone tightly and readjusted her coat. No amount of tugging the garment closer seemed to dim the chill of the air. Her breath chattered in through her teeth as she waited. But it wasn't just that.

A weight settled on her shoulders. Why? Why did he have to show up tonight?

He hadn't approached her. He hadn't even bothered to be mean. He had simply shown up with a few people she recognized as his coworkers, gotten some drinks, and enjoyed himself. As if she didn't exist.

As if he hadn't made any promises.

As if he hadn't broken every single one of them.

As if she had never existed.

-----

The other players weren’t fans of phone use at the table, but they made an exception for Changbin’s work phone.

This exception was not necessarily made from a place of understanding, not at first anyway. More just because they usually made an exception for whatever Changbin wanted. It was more that nobody in their wanted to be the person to find out what would happen if they said no.

Changbin read the job ticket on his phone. Whoever this was, she was lucky that he was in the area. If he hadn’t been, the next closest carrier was at least a half an hour away. Besides, it would have most likely been Jisung, and Changbin was pretty sure that most calls this late at night weren’t looking for that much conversation.

None of the other players seemed to mind when he stood to leave. The game had been going in Changbin’s favor anyway, so he didn’t blame them for letting him leave without much commentary.

Not that they made many comments when it came to him anyway.

“Cheers kids,” Changbin muttered. He stood up, draining his glass at the same time. He quickly, but unconcernedly, collected his winnings from the night.

“You sure you’re okay to drive?” the host, Yunho, asked as Changbin bent to lift the sliding door on the loading dock.

Changbin didn’t bother replying. He just stooped under the rusty sheet metal and let it fall behind him.

“What an asshole,” Seonghwa rolled his eyes, “why is he even invited to this?”

“He's just a bit private. Why does he bother you so much anyway?” Mingi asked. “Are you going to deal or what?”

“Don’t rush me.”

Changbin, having mastered the art of never appearing to hurry, quickly made his way to where his motorcycle had been left. Anyone else would have found a slightly more discreet place to park, but he knew his reputation preceded him and extended to his bike.

He took a second to double check the address that Seungmin had sent him. He knew the convenience store well, and the club up the street even better. Tugging his helmet over his head, his only thought was that he hoped it wasn’t one of the girls that knew him.

-----

She heard the bike before she saw it. The high pitched whine of someone who needs two things: to get somewhere, and to do it quickly.

Maybe a third thing - to get there alone.

Changbin was glad to see that it was, as it turned out, not one of the girls from the club at all. They all knew better than to buy that trash that the convenience store tried to pass off as coffee.

This poor girl had made that mistake. She was standing under one of the light posts in the parking lot, looking down at the cup in her hand with a mixture of sadness and disgust. Regardless, she took another sip.

She must have had quite the night to willingly put that swill in her mouth.

Changbin shook his head. Pity wasn’t part of the job description.

He pulled up, at a distance that he calculated to be non-threatening, a good fifteen feet away. Kicking the stand down and disengaging his engine, he allowed himself a second to look her over. He had enough sense to know that she was probably measuring him up as well.

Tempawan was indeed doing just that. The rider wasn’t very tall, but held himself like a man well over the six foot mark. He, for her friend Miyoung had warned her that all of the “carriers” were male, seemed to be built somewhere between muscular and farmer, but it was difficult to tell underneath his protective jacket. He dismounted from the bike and stayed still, facing her, with his helmet on.

“You called for a carrier?”

She nodded, glad that the motion could actually be seen. At least this time, she wasn't making herself look like an idiot.

To him, the nod was cautious, slow. He could see the concern on her face. It was a look he recognized. A first time caller. He didn’t hold her wariness against her. There was no way of knowing the kind of night she had been having. Even if it had been fine, which it clearly wasn’t given her location, she would be a hundred percent justified in being nervous to get on a motorcycle with some unknown man.

The rider unzipped one of the panniers on his bike. After a moment of rummaging around, he held up a second leather jacket. It looked similar to his own, only less worn out. He held it towards her.

He kept the jacket on hand for calls like this. The night was relatively cold for the season, and the scrap of denim that she had for a coat was clearly for decoration only. On top of warmth, there was the safety aspect as well. There wasn’t much he could do for her exposed legs, but at least he could protect her internal organs.

Not wanting to spook her off by approaching her, he waited. He simply held the jacket out towards her.

Let her come to you.

Changbin blinked a few times, hidden under his helmet. He swallowed hard, suppressing the annoyingly constant companion in the back of his mind.

Tempawan was struck by the surreal feeling of the situation. Considering how her night had gone so far, it felt strange to her that she was about to simply trust this man. Thanks to the helmet he wore, she didn’t even know what he looked like. But here she was, going to get on a motorcycle with him.

She did go to him though. A few steps anyway, until she was just barely out of reach. She seemed to lose her nerve then, getting lost in her own thoughts. Stopping, she just looked at him, frowning.

They stayed like that for a moment. Finally, he decided to take the lead. He took half a step forward and gently draped the jacket around her shoulders.

That was when the scent hit him.

As much as Changbin generally hated the rule that said he had to keep his face obscured, he was grateful for it now. The helmet guaranteed that she had no clue about the reaction he had. His skull ached dully as his teeth extended. He quickly worked his jaw open and shut, trying to stretch the ache away. He was sure his eyes would give him away as well, if she had seen them.

Take her.

He wasn’t sure what the annoying voice meant when it said “take”. Fuck her? Eat her? Do just enough damage and then leave her for dead?

Changbin swallowed again. He pushed the voice away again.

“It’s for your safety,” he managed to push the words out. “Here,” he held the collar and the front of the jack out, opening it to make it easier for her to wind her arm into the sleeve.

When she finally got herself settled into the soft leather, he zipped up the coat, snugly snapping the collar shut under her chin. He busied himself with zipping and buttoning the jacket. Anything to do something. To move in some way. To distract himself from the smell of the deep woods. Once he was satisfied with the coverage, he tugged the black gloves from his hands. In doing so, he made a mistake.

He looked at her face.

He could see how closely she was watching his hands. He saw a strange haze that crossed her eyes like a wash of watercolor. For the first time in a long time, he felt unsettled. Like the tables had turned. Now he was the one who needed to be careful to not get spooked.

As he tugged the gloves over her own, nearly frozen, digits, she found herself distracted by his fingers. He wore a plain silver band around one finger on his left hand, and a matching black one on his right. His fingers were slender, but not quite delicate looking. For some reason she wanted to lick them, bite them.

Drunk. Definitely still drunk.

Jacket secured, gloves in place, he tore his eyes away from her and busied himself with retrieving the other helmet.

The carrier turned away from her, and panic immediately flooded through her body. Convinced that she was about to be abandoned for the second, or perhaps third, time tonight, she grabbed at his arm. Winding both of her own around it, she gripped his arm like a koala.

“Don’t leave me here!”

Even with the helmet guarding against her spotting anything amiss, Changbin still closed his eyes as he turned to look at her.

“I won’t,” he barely opened his eyes, as if that would guard him against that voice coming back.

He was met with a look of fear on her face. He decided that it was a good look for her. He allowed himself to take another breath. Her original scent was diminished somewhat, now mixed with the familiar bitterness of fear. Still, Changbin had a mixed reaction. That woodsy scent was still there after all. It made him want to taste her, touch her, see what was under her skin.

He could do one of those things.

Reaching up, he pushed her hair back from her face. A jolt of electricity seemed to send a buzzing sensation through his fingertips when they made contact with the skin of her ear. The buzz traveled slowly up his arm.

She watched as he lifted his other hand. Once again, she focused on the contrast of the black band against his pale skin. Once again, she felt the urge to taste them.

“I won’t,” he reiterated. The words had an immediate effect on her. She relaxed, barely. Under the helmet, Changbin smiled, “but you need to wear my other helmet.”

Oh. Of course. She flushed slightly, feeling embarrassed as she dropped the hold on his arm. That made sense. He wouldn’t just hand over his coat and gloves and then leave. She felt silly for her outburst. She could have sworn she heard a small laugh escape from under his helmet as he turned to grab the second helmet.

Cute, Changbin thought, surprising himself with a small laugh as he grabbed the second helmet.

“Here,” he smoothed her hair back again. Slowly, gently, he lowered the helmet over her head. It was an excuse. An excuse to touch her again, to feel her hair. To feel that electric buzz arc up his limbs again as he settled the helmet onto her and buckled it for her.

Thank god, he thought to himself. The helmet seemed to block even more of that smell. He was thinking much clearer now. He flipped the small switch on the side of the helmet.

She heard a click on the outside, followed by a beep near her ear.

“Can you hear me?”

She almost gasped at the closeness of the voice. It was right next to her ear, as if his lips were just on the other side of her hair. Swallowing her surprise, she responded.

“Yes.”

Changbin resisted a groan. The smell might be gone but having her voice sound so close was another problem.

“Good,” she could almost hear a smile in his voice now, “comfortable?”

“Yes.”

He really hoped she wouldn’t want to talk during the ride. God damn it. He took a second to squeeze her arms, trying to ground himself for what was about to come. Luckily, she took the pressure of his hands as a show of reassurance. Not that he knew that.

Maybe I should have let Jisung take the call.

He felt bad then, realizing that he was essentially feeling up this woman. Quickly, he tried to bring the mood up.

“I’d ask if you want to finish the coffee, but I think we both know it’s nearly poison. Ready to go?”

She could only nod.

So cooperative.

Changbin swallowed again before helping her get settled onto the bike. Though, if he was being honest with himself, it was just an excuse to hold onto her hands for a minute. Once she was in place, he swung himself into place in front of her.

Wouldn’t it be better to have her in your lap though…

Changbin swallowed again, trying to find his own voice before speaking up.

“Hold on tight,” he instructed her.

She wrapped her arms around his waist. Even through both jackets, and his shirt, he felt that electric buzz again. He laughed, trying to cover the way his body twitched at the touch.

“You’re going to have to hold on tighter than that.”

Much tighter.

-----

The ride was fast, terrifying, and almost entirely silent save for the engine. After a brief bit of giving directions, they didn’t speak at all. As they pulled up in front of Tempawan’s apartment building, she let out a sigh of relief.

“Glad to be home?” Changbin asked when he heard the crackle of air come through the helmet comms.

“Yes,” she answered simply, not quite trusting her voice to not shake.

He only nodded as he kicked the stand down on his motorcycle. She started moving behind him, and against his better judgment, he placed a firm hand on her thigh. The electricity nearly burned him, but he didn’t twitch away this time.

“Wait, I’ll help.”

He dismounted first, carefully settling the bike’s weight. Once both of his own feet were on the pavement, he offered her a hand.

She took it in silence, leaning on him as necessary to get her footing settled. Once stabilized on the ground, she unbuckled the helmet and tugged it off. Handing it back to him, she shook her head to try to force the hair in her face back.

“Are you okay from here?”

It was a stupid question. Of course she would be fine. The only way he could do more is if he physically carried her up to her apartment.

Now there’s an idea.

Changbin swallowed again, barely hearing her words over that voice.

“I’ll be fine. Thanks for the ride, uh…”

Changbin had spent many years learning to hold back on his compulsions. He had conquered almost every impulse he had.

“Bin,” well, almost every impulse, “it’s no problem. Stay safe.”

She nodded.

Knowing that he had already fucked up, Changbin quickly got back on his bike and left.

She watched his shape as he shot off, receding into the fading black of the night.

-----

Jisung smiled, despite his face covering, at the man waiting in front of the convenience store.

“Hey hey, you call for a last minute carrier?”

The man looked him over, skepticism writ clear across his face.

“You’re not the usual guy.”

Jisung’s smile hitched for a second. Sure, the guy had most likely been expecting Chan, but there was no reason to be rude.

“True enough my man,” he shrugged, “but that’s the nature of making the call last minute, isn’t it? You get who you get.”

An awkward silence fell.

If there was anything that Jisung could not tolerate, it was awkward silences.

“Listen my guy,” Jisung sighed, but still tried to remain friendly, “you can call the operator if you want but the fact is that tonight I am the guy.”

“I was told that this was to be handed over to Chris.”

I am in hell. That was the only thought that Jisung could clearly make out amongst his customer service autopilot.

“Well I don’t know what to tell you then. Chris isn’t here, I am,” he laughed, still determined to make this go smoothly, “and it’s not like I can grab my manager for you.”

“This needs to be delivered tonight.”

Like talking to wet cement.

“Perfect," he felt his smile going, "great," going, "it’s almost like that’s why I’m fucking here." Gone. "You need a package delivered, I am here to deliver it. LIke I said, you could call the operator, but now I am not only the only carrier available, but I’m also the closest to your location.”

“I don’t fucking know you," the man prodded at Jisung’s chest. He didn't do it hard, but he didn't have to to get his point across, "I’m not handing it over.”

Jisung felt it in his hands. He always felt it in his hands first.

Kill him.

“Okay,” he cleared his throat before continuing, “I don’t have time to argue with you about this. I’m going to go inside and get myself something to drink. You do what you need to do and let me know how that goes for you.”

He took his time inside the convenience store. It served a dual purpose of letting himself cool off, and letting the guy outside stew. Jisung traipsed up and down each aisle, looking at shelves closer than he thought he ever had before. He picked up a package of sunflower seeds and started reading the nutritional facts on the back. What the fuck even is hydrogenated sunflower oil? He shook his head, re-shelving the packet before turning his attention to the cooler at the end of the aisle.

“My man,” he called up to the front counter, “you got an-”

He was cut off by a snort of derision. Looking up, he spotted the clerk. She was very much not a man.

“Ah,” he quickly bowed his head a few times, feeling a little ashamed, “sorry. I didn’t…” he tilted his head, “what’s the girl version of ‘my man’?”

“You could call me by my name,” the clerk suggested.

“I like the way you think,” Jisung brightly covered his embarrassment at his social fumble, “what would that be?”

He made some polite small talk with the clerk, finding out that they did not have the strawberry flavor of Milkis that he wanted. He decided that melon was good enough for now and paid for his things before heading back outside to see how the personification of rocks was doing with his predicament.

“How’s the delivery issue working out for you my guy?”

He was greeted with a scowl and a muttered change of plans.

“Sorry,” Jisung couldn’t stop himself from pushing the topic just a little bit, “what was that? You gotta speak up my dude.”

The man huffed.

“Just fucking take the package already.”

“Oh my god,” Jisung placed a hand on his own chest, “I’m so glad that we’ve reached this level of trust in our relationship. This is, like, so amazing for us babe.”

He delighted in watching the man struggle between his latent homophobia and his need to get the job done. His job loyalty won out at the end.

“Just take the fucking thing already. So annoying.”

“No problem babe,” Jisung prodded him, holding out a hand, “I’ll make sure it’s super safe.”

#skz #Stray Kids Fic #Urban Fantasy AU #Seo Changbin #Han Jisung

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bonesandthebees · 1 year

Note

Greetings once again, Bee! I am loving TAGD so much rn and i look forward to each update!!! My asks have been minimal of late bc college takes a significant amount of time and effort but i’m here now!

Ok, so something I’ve been thinking about for the past several chapters (that I haven't really seen anyone else talk about that I know of) is how “I'm just a vessel for Clara and my purpose is to fulfill her will” makes Wilbur not take responsibility for his actions.

Right now, all of the focus of Wilbur’s lost identity is how all the abuse hurt him and fucked him up. Right now, the story is about Wil realizing that being snatched off the street, stripped of his identity and personhood, and forced to be the most devoted follower/leader of a religion he never really understood, cared about, or that cared about him was super fucked up, and it’s about how the deathlings are also starting to realize this and how it affects how Wil acts/thinks.

But in the chapter after Wil tries to escape and almost kills Tommy, when he’s having all the conversations about it, I realized just how much of “I’m not a person I’m Clara’s vessel” can be used to justify/excuse Wil’s actions and absolve him of responsibility. And I think this could be a future hurdle for Wil to clear as he regains his identity.

Bc from what we’ve seen of Clara’s visions, they don’t seem to instruct, warn, or even imply that they can be avoided. Like those prophecies in Greek mythology where people attempt to avoid the bad thing and it happens anyways, or their attempts to avoid fate actually cause it. Clara just shows what is going to happen, and just because someone acts according to the info provided by her, doesn’t mean that she told them to do that.

This even plays into the slightly unhealthy, codependent crimeboys dynamic that we love so much, bc when Tommy figures out that Wil tried to escape because of a vision, he almost immediately stops being mad about yesterday’s murder attempt (doesn’t necessarily forgive him, but still drops the subject and starts semi-defending Wil to the rest of the deathlings when it gets brought up).

Part of being a person with agency is that your actions are your own, and with that freedom comes accountability, both of which were taken from Wil when he became the Pythia

anyways, thank you so much for taking the time to write all these stories!!! can’t wait to see where you take this one!

- 💜

oh that's SUCH an interesting way to look at it. it's so true though! in a way being the pythia absolves wilbur of any responsibility for his actions because well clara told him to do it, y'know? though technically clara's purpose for showing visions can be as a guide for what to do, or it can also be a guide for what NOT to do. so you can change a vision and sometimes that's the point of her showing the pythia the vision. but the thing is is like you said, it heavily depends on how the pythia interprets it. she gives the information and lets the pythia decide how to use it.

also I'll tell you now when I post the next chapter here soon it's actually going to play a bit more into the whole "wilbur avoids taking responsibility for his actions" thing.

so glad you're enjoying it's always a pleasure to see you in the inbox purple heart anon!! best of luck with college <33

#ask #purple heart anon #through a glass divine

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eienoah · 5 months

Text

May 8 - Wagashi & Tea Ceremony

Day 3 of the trip and we ended up going to a tea ceremony and the Tokyo Sky Tree. I’m gonna go ahead and skip the whole breakfast and morning routine for a little while here unless anything significant changes but still waking up at around 6 am. The tea ceremony was intriguing to say the least. I myself, being not that big of a matcha fan, was a little precautious but was definitely looking forward to watching the specific way the tea was prepared. The intricacies of cleansing the dishes and such was fascinating but one of the craziest things I learned was that the main lady who pours the tea gets her hair done at a salon every single day for 30 minutes before going in for the tea ceremonies. I could never deal with that kind of commitment but she has been doing it for the past 30 years so I respect the commitment. After that we took a quick walk around and interacted with nature. We played with a jumping spider, some pigeons, got to see some Japanese crawfish, and a snake. We followed that up with the Sky Tree that took us above every other building in Tokyo. It was crazy that I couldn’t even see the end of Tokyo but it also felt all so close in a way. Kind of like being able to see so much meant that it was all something that I could explore given the time. I enjoyed shopping there but was so tired afterwards that we went straight home. For lunch I did end up having my first real oyakodon which was amazing and I am now looking into ways to make a similar quality one back in the states.

Academic tie in

I understand the whole approach of wabi sabi but I still think some parts are missing in my mind in regards to how it is approached. In my mind it can be seen in things like the simple bamboo utensils mixed in with the incredibly high end water heater and cleansing cloth. But at the same time I kind of see it limited to certain things. You can’t necessarily have wabi sabi in something like clothing. Imagine you just take an extremely high end expensive outfit and then just replace the pants with khakis. It just doesn't work. I do like seeing it in nature however. Things like certain stone decorations that have been overrun with mushrooms running up the side or a tree that has been felled but continues to grow. In addition as I have walked around the city I have noticed how strange the district planning truly is. Anywhere you go you can find an assortment of shops, doctors, businesses, or homes. Seeing Tokyo from so high up really helped to kind of show that Tekitona approach on how places are allowed to be built. I can sense it also as I walk down narrow alleys with cars flying by me as I grab onto the nearest wall to avoid being hit. It’s a completely different experience than New York. I actually find that I like it more however. I’m excited for tonight because I studied a little early to get ahead of the curve so I can go do things after dinner. Yippee!!

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maximoffwitch · 2 years

Text

...We Can Do What We Want

pairing: sorority!wanda x reader

warnings: swear words and some suggestive themes

summary: After Wanda lashes out on you, she is desperate to apologize. Will the two of you work it out, or is this the end of something that never even began?

word count: 2.3k

a/n: here it is! part 2!!!! hope you guys enjoy it. and as always, comments are always welcome :D

1 | 2

“Why do you even care so much, Wanda?”

“Because I love her!” Wanda burst, throwing her hands in the air exasperatedly.

Right at that moment, hearing all the commotion out in the hallway, you swung open the door, “You what?”

“(Y/N),” Wanda breathed, her lips parting slightly. “I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that, and I didn’t–,”

“Did you mean it?” you cut off her rambling, your voice so quiet that it could barely be heard of the sound of blaring music and the pounding of your own heart.

Wanda paused and ran her hands through her hair before taking a deep breath.

“Yes.”

A heavy silence hung over the three of you, though you nearly forgot Natasha was still standing there, as you had your eyes locked on Wanda.

“Hey,” Maria rounded the corner, furrowing her brows when she took in the scene before her. When she couldn’t find you or Natasha downstairs, she’d asked around and went upstairs to look for you, “what’s going on here?”

“Nothing,” Natasha answered quickly, shaking off the initial shock that Wanda had actually confessed. “Wanda and (Y/N) are gonna talk while you and I go make out in my room.”

The redhead took her girlfriend’s hand but not before shooting Wanda a glare that said, “Don’t you dare hurt her or you’ll regret it.”

As Maria was pulled past you, she rested a hand on your shoulder, “You sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah,” you whispered, giving her a weary smile, “I’ll be fine.”

Once your friends retreated into Nat’s room, you were left alone with Wanda, palpable tension separating the two of you.

“Do you wanna talk in my room?” Wanda suggested hesitantly, looking up from the ground to meet your eyes. “It’s quieter and more…”

She waved her hands to the hallway, where it wasn’t as crowded as downstairs but people were still loitering. “…private,” she finished lamely.

“Sure,” you agreed, not wanting everyone to know your business.

You followed Wanda a little further down the hallway to her room. As you stepped in, you immediately took in your surroundings.

Though the room was not necessarily what you expected, a far cry from Elle Woods’s room, you found it radiated Wanda, from the records decorating the walls to the worn books stacked on her night table.

“Sorry about the mess,” Wanda clicked on the lamp before clearing her laptop and some papers off of the bed. “Do you, uh, wanna sit?”

She motioned to the cozy-looking papasan chair in the corner.

“Thanks,” you took a seat, as Wanda rolled over her desk chair, positioning it in front of you.

An awkward silence fell over the room, as neither of you knew what to say.

“I am so sorry, (Y/N),” Wanda spoke up, her voice laced with regret.

“It’s alright,” you shrugged, having nearly forgotten about what happened downstairs after Wanda’s shocking revelation only moments prior.

“No, (Y/N), it’s not,” she leaned forward and shook her head. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that, especially in front of everyone. I was anxious because I didn’t know if I was gonna see you tonight, and then I was nervous when I heard you did show, but then I saw you with Natasha and I got really jealous, and I just took all of that out on you, and I’m sorry.”

“You were jealous?” you frowned, tilting your head slightly. “Of Natasha?”

Wincing, Wanda slowly nodded.

“But you know Natasha and Maria are dating, right?”

“I know,�� Wanda ran her hands through her hair, a habit you noticed she did whenever she was stressed or frustrated or even nervous. “I know, and I guess I was just jealous that she was talking to you and I wasn’t.”

She mumbled the last part under her breath, causing you to soften.

“I know it sounds stupid, but–,”

“It doesn’t sound stupid,” you cut her off with a shake of your head. “Whenever I see you talking to Nat or Carol or even Bruce during class, I wish I was them.”

You could feel your cheeks heat up at the confession, surprised by the ease at which your words came out. Wanda beamed at you, the corner of her mouth twitching up.

“I forgive you,” you offered a small smile after a brief moment of silence.

“Thank you, (Y/N),” Wanda’s shoulder sagged in relief, a huge weight having been take off of them.

“So,” you looked down at your hands, as you fidgeted with your fingers nervously, “you…you love me?”

Wanda’s eyes widened and her entire face started to turn red. You reveled slightly in the sight, as it wasn’t often the composed sorority president was a nervous mess, looking like an embarrassed deer in the headlights.

“Yes,” she furrowed her brows with pure determination, wanting you to know how serious she was. “Yes, I do love you.”

“Or do you just love the idea of me?” you quipped, nearly regretting the words as soon as you spoke them, but you couldn’t take it back.

“What?” Wanda gaped.

“I mean, it’s just,” you trailed off, starting to feel your insecurity crawling up your spine. “It’s just you barely even know me. How can you love me if you don’t know anything about me?”

Wanda just stared at you, her face remaining neutral, almost pensive.

“I know plenty about you,” she stated as if it were obvious, leaning back in her chair, crossing her arms, as she spread her legs slightly. Your eyes traced her toned biceps and her jean-cladded thighs, and you licked your lips slightly, the pool of arousal in your lower stomach returning.

“I know you study political science because you want to be a lawyer one day. I know you’re roommates and best friends with Maria, and by extension Natasha too. I know you hate coming to these parties and would rather stay home on a Friday night,” Wanda listed off, and before you could interrupt and tell her those were basic facts anyone could know, she carried on.

“I know you drink tea in the morning rather than coffee, only drinking coffee when you have to pull all nighters. I know you hate wearing crewnecks and only wear hoodies because the hood makes you feel safer. I know you really got 3.8 last semester even though you told everyone you had a 4.0.”

At that you had to interject, “Hey!”

Wanda only smirked before continuing, “I know you scrunch your nose in this adorable manner when you can’t solve a problem on the first attempt. I know you really don’t like talking on the phone, only FaceTime or text. I know you are an avid pineapple on pizza enthusiast despite it being one of the most disgusting creations made by man.”

“Okay,” you giggled, your heart swelling, as you listened to her prove you wrong. “I think you’ve proved your point.”

“Wait,” she paused. “I know one more thing.”

“What?”

“I know,” a mischievous glint shone in Wanda’s eyes, “that you look absolutely incredible tonight, and I’m so glad you decided to come; it really made my entire week.”

You swore your heart was about to beat right out of your chest, and you could only pray Wanda couldn’t hear it.

“I’m pretty sure that’s two more things,” you joked, trying to deflect the compliment.

Wanda laughed lightly before leaning forward to take your hands in hers. Your eyes widened, as you looked down at your intertwined hands and back up into her awaiting green orbs.

“I may not know everything about you, (Y/N),” she ran her thumb softly across your knuckles, the action causing you to nearly swoon, “but I know enough to know that I love you, and I want to be with you and get to know everything about you.

“If you’d let me?” Wanda shrugged her shoulder slightly and offered you a hopeful smile.

You didn’t know where the sudden boost of confidence came from but you had the urge to kiss her, prove to her, and maybe a little to yourself, that you weren’t just some shy nerdy girl. Plus, you desperately wanted to wipe that confident smirk you could see starting to play on her lips.

Leaning forward, you connected your lips with hers. Wanda raised her eyebrows, shocked by your boldness. But once her brain registered what was happening, she sighed contently, closing her eyes and melting into the kiss.

As you felt the older girl kissing you back, you brought your hand up to cup her cheek, deepening the kiss. You swiped your tongue across Wanda’s bottom lip, begging for an entrance, which she immediately granted.

The two of you battled for dominance, but as you got up from your seat, careful not to break the kiss, and straddled her lap, you knew you had won. Wanda submitted, letting your tongue explore her mouth, as she moved her hands to settle on your hips.

Once oxygen become necessary, you pulled apart, resting your forehead against hers.

“Wow,” Wanda panted, as she ran her hands up and down your thighs. “That was…amazing.”

“Yeah?” you bit your lip, smiling nervously.

“Yeah,” she beamed and rubbed her nose against yours.

Unable to help yourself, you surged forward and kissed her again. Before you could get lost in the feeling of her soft lips, the sound of the door opening interrupted you.

“(Y/N)? Mash and I were thinking of staying—,” Natasha stopped when she saw the compromising position you and Wanda were in.

“Oh, never mind then,” the redhead smirked and wiggled her eyebrows at you, causing you to bury your face in Wanda’s neck. “So (Y/N/N), is Wanda as good a kisser as you dreamed?”

Without lifting your head, you gave Natasha the finger, eliciting a hearty laugh from her.

“Fuck off, Romanoff,” Wanda rolled her eyes, as she rubbed your back soothingly.

“Alright, alright. I just wanted to let (Y/N) know that Maria and I are crashing her tonight,” Natasha conceded before retreating, as she closed the door. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it.”

“Hey,” Wanda kissed your temple before gently cupping your chin and guiding you to look at her. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you grinned, your face still warm from Natasha’s teasing.

“So, do you, um,” she nervously twirled a loose strand of your hair before tucking it behind your ear, “do you wanna stay the night?”

You raised your brow at her, a slight teasing smirk forming on your lips.

“I just…I just meant to sleep,” Wanda ducked her head, playing with the hem of your shirt.

“Really?” you raised a brow, scooting forward on her lap causing your chests to brush. You could hear Wanda’s breath hitch, causing you to smirk, as you leaned forward to whisper in her ear. “Because I was kinda hoping you’d take me to bed and have your way with me.”

Moving back slightly, you saw Wanda’s eyes darken.

“Oh, you little minx,” she growled, picking you up by the underside of your thighs and gently tossing you on the bed. She hovered over you, her legs on either side of your hips, pinning you down.

As Wanda leaned down, bracing herself on her hands, which were beside your head, you could feel a wave of arousal wash over you. The flex of her thighs against you caused you to inhale sharply, and you couldn’t help but lick your lips. Her touch was intoxicating, and you were addicted.

“What?” you asked with faux innocence, as you tilted your head and batted your eyes.

Wanda could only chuckle and shake her head. “I see.”

“What?” you frowned, now genuinely confused.

“Your whole ‘I’m so shy and innocent and quiet and too good for parties’ is just an act,” she teased. “I believe you’re what they call ‘a lady in the streets, a freak in the sheets.”

Wrapping your legs around her waist, you brought Wanda closer to your body, causing her arms to buckle, and you flipped your positions, so you were now on top of her again.

“I guess you’ll just have to find out for yourself,” you winked, as you ground your hips slightly into hers.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, sweetheart,” Wanda groaned before cupping the back of your neck and bringing you down to meet her lips. Letting her hands wander down your sides, she crept her hands beneath your shirt.

Shivering, you felt goosebumps form under her touch. While you thought you knew what direction this was heading in, Wanda had different ideas, her fingers wiggling against your skin, as she started tickling you.

“Ah, Wanda!” you squealed, as you rolled off of her and onto the bed, your legs still tangled together. “Stop, stop, please!”

With a large grin, Wanda stopped reluctantly, as you caught your breath.

“But seriously,” she turned on her side to face you, and you mirrored her actions, “do you wanna stay the night?”

“What about the rest of the party?” you asked, still nervous about the possibility of sharing a bed with the other girl.

“Don’t worry about it,” Wanda traced your jaw. “Carol’s in charge when Nat and I are gone, and the pledges will clean up.”

You bit you lip and paused for a moment. Sensing your hesitancy, Wanda pressed a light kiss to the tip of your nose.

“Stay, please,” she brushed some loose hair out of your face. “I don’t want you walking home alone, and I’d really like it if you stayed.”

“Okay,” you nodded with a small smile, which slowly turned into a mischievous smirk. “We can have a party of our own.”

“Where the hell have you been all my life?” Wanda shook her head fondly before kissing you deeply.

As you felt her swipe her tongue along your bottom lip, you thanked God and everything holy that you decided to abandon your pint of ice cream and go party tonight. Little had you known you’d be having a private party with the sorority president herself.

-----

taglist: @alexmxff @likefirenrain @amasimpformilfs @crescent-witch @iliketozoneout @fxckmiup @inluvwithfictionalwomen @chelleztjs18 @mediocre-writerr @milfloverslut @fayhar @kermy48 @nataliasknife @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @when-wolves-howl @findingmaximoff @kacka84 @carnagewidow @bentleywolf29 @wandaromanoffsblog @noaaas-world @luvwanda @togrowoldinv @sadpiscesheart @jujuu23 @beenicejoy @an-evergreen-rose

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda x you #wanda x reader #sorority!wanda #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #my writing

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bunnys-babies · 3 years

Text

Celebrating Your Birthday

AOT x gn!reader

warning(s): nada :)

a/n: I believe this was an anonymous request for just Jean and hc’s about celebrating his s/o’s Bday - but I’ve expanded it to a general AOT HC post for more peeps to enjoy :) - I hope you guys like!! mwah

characters: jean, eren, armin, porco, & connie

Jean

not one to necessarily go all out theatrics wise, but he definitely cares about it being meaningful

He gives you two cards every year, one to open up in front of friends and family that’s usually just a simple one that goes along with the actual gift (something very basic and probably a little silly lol)

But the second one has a handwritten note that’s a lot more personal and sentimental, definitely the kind of emotional letter that needs to be read in private for his emotional sake and yours

And you truly do get one every year

It’s about his favorite moments he’s had with you that year, his favorite moments to come, anything new he learned about you that he never wants to forget, etc. it’s honestly something he looks forward to writing you every year

Expect flowers and a little cake just for you in the evening - he doesn’t like making too big of a show of things so he waits until it’s just you too to give them to you. Or he’ll drop them off at your house in the morning as well

Dinner is also ALWAYS on him - whether it’s home made or y’all are going out, you better be sitting tf down while he treats you

And similar to the card, you usually get at least two “bigger” gifts from him

One just being a simple gift card or pair of shoes you’ve been eyeing

But the other is a little more personal; like a necklace with your’s and his own birth month flower pressed into the small pendant (very very cheesy man indeed)

Or a framed picture of what the stars looked like on the night of your first date

BASICALLY he’s a sentimental mush who is completely enamored with you point blank period <3

Eren

You get a cheesy hand made coupon every. Single. Year.

It varies from “one free hot steamy make out sesh ;)” to “one free ‘stfu eren I’m begging you”

And he has no shame - you get these in front of everyone cause he likes how embarrassed and grumpy you get when everyone starts giggling about how “silly and cute you two are”

You’d think it’s his birthday with how giddy he is all day

Like I mean allllll dayyyy

He wakes you up with the cutest little smile and messy bun (he kind of looks like a toddler who just woke up on Christmas morning - it’s very endearing so you look forward to it) and presses all kinds of kisses to your face telling you it’s your birthday like you didn’t already know

Not too big of a social media poster but he never fails to post a simple “happy birthday :)” under a pic of him giving you a kiss on the cheek while you were still in bed that morning

He gets his mom to make a big deal out of it too (as if she wouldn’t on her own) - she arranges you flowers out of her garden and makes sure to give them to you herself with a little piece of string tied around it with a little note attached

If your family is a big party thrower for your birthday you can bet your ass he’s coming with his mom and having sm fun with them and you

if they smush your face in the cake he tries really hard not to laugh but he can’t help it sowwy - makes up for it though by helping you clean up and discreetly letting you do the same to him (he likes to let you think you snuck up on him)

Armin

“Oh my goodness, is that the birthday baby?”

^ says this literally every time he sees for the first time, every year. Doesn’t matter if you find it cute, embarrassing, cringey, he WILL do it. And in a little mocking baby voice, too.

But he always gives you a hug afterwards so it’s worth it

“I got you ~something…”

^ says that too LOL

He gets you the most random shit you’d never even think to ask for but yet it’s something you want or enjoy every time

He gets very creative with the wrapping too - he’ll fill the bag with sticker flakes too as a fun surprise (and it’s purely for himself cause he has an addiction with buying stationary he doesn’t need and this is how he tells himself it’s okay)

Expect breakfast brought to you as well, doesn’t matter if you’re at home, work, class, he’s bringing you a little sweet treat cause he cant help himself

He’s very touchy and affectionate all day, more than usual, cause something about it being a special day for you just makes him all excited

Lots of handholding and little secret kisses while you’re out with your friends

All in all he’s very attentive and it’s really cute :)

Porco

Let me say this first, he has intentionally acted like he didn’t remember it was your birthday ONCE and it backfired and he felt like a complete asshole

Did he think it’d be silly to be like “hmmm is today important or something?” Yes. Did it come off that way? Not in the slightest and he’ll take it as one of his biggest regrets all the way to the grave

Moving on

He actually does really care about your birthday LOL

Even if it’s not a big deal for you he just can’t grasp it

In the most loving way, he will tell you it’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard if you were to tell him “it’s not that big of a deal Porco!”

He can’t fathom why it wouldn’t be that big of a deal - “it’s your fucking birthday so shut up and let me pamper you >:( 💝”

On top of the usual things, y’know dinner, presents, friends, family, etc. he’s really into making cute little relationship goals with you??

Like getting out a jar and putting things you want to do with each other over the next year in them on little pieces of paper

The plan is to pull them out at random over the course of the year and keep the slips of the ones you completed

But even if you do literally none of them its fun to dump them out the following year just to see what’s changed and what’s stayed the same

He’s planning for the long term always

Connie

He knows your birth time and makes sure to freak tf out when it hits and be like omg it’s ~officially your birthday 😏😌

It doesn’t matter if it’s 4 am he will call you or wake you up himself just to tell you happy birthday

One of his toxic traits honestly

If you work or have class that day he IS expecting you to skip if you don’t have it off already LOL

he won’t make you but he will be surprised you actually work

He believes that you shouldn’t have to do a damn thing on your birthday cause you’re his angel and how dare they make you actually do things.. appalling (although he doesn’t feel the same way on his own birthday - he actually gets pretty bashful when you make a big deal out of it, it’s really cute I promise)

Expect an onslaught of embarrassing photos of you to be posted online - which you’re tagged in all of them - with some embarrassing little caption like “happy birthday my little Weiner 🥺☹️”

Also if ur even a day older than him he makes sure to bring that up every year and call you a cradle snatcher - sorry not sorry

ANYWAYS

He’s also really sweet when you first see each other that day though

You get a sweet kiss on your cheek and a whisper in your ear, “happy birthday”, swaying back and forth gently with his arms around your waist

It’s a little embarrassing sometimes cause it feels so intimate if it were to happen in public, but he doesn’t let it last long enough to garner attention

Afterwards he always makes sure to give you a bone crushing hug and your “birthday punches” he said spankings once in front of his mom and he almost threw up

If you plan on drinking on your birthday too he’ll always be your designated driver for the night, making sure u get home safe and allll that good stuff <3

——————

taglist: @d1lfluvr @plutowrites @carmillous @pretty-pop-princess-hs @alonezz @venusackerman @mossygreys (if you’d like to be added just lemme know!)

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winchesterandpie · 2 years

Text

Lovin' Feelin': "First" Date

Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x wife!reader

Word Count: 1002

Warnings: highly self-indulgent, Hangman is a sweetheart, lots of fluff, I would like a Bradley Bradshaw

A/N: We’re back with more of Bradley and his wife messing with Hangman. I have several other pieces for these two that I'm working on, but they won't necessarily get posted in order. I'm making a masterlist for this universe, so I'll add the link to that once it's up! Let me know if you have any ideas for fun bets, and I’ll see about writing them! Enjoy!

Lovin' Feelin' Masterpost

“You keep grinning at that phone, but I still haven’t heard anything about a date.” Rooster looked up in time to see Hangman plop next to him on the couch. “You stringing that poor thing along or something?”

“She’s been working, dumbass,” he replied, throwing a bunched-up rag at the other pilot.

“But have you asked her out?”

“...No.”

“Then my point stands.” Hangman grinned triumphantly at Rooster’s admission. “Come on, man, it looks like you really like her.”

“I do.” He smiled softly at the thought of you.

“Alright, I didn’t think I was going to have to do this, but I won’t let you wait and wait until the moment’s gone.”

“What do--”

“Twenty bucks says you won’t ask her out in the next hour.”

Rooster couldn’t help it. He threw his head back and laughed. “Alright, alright. Here.” He pulled out his phone again.

Hey, so I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me. Maybe tomorrow night if you’re free?

“That’s definitely not the best you’ve got for asking someone out,” Hangman groaned as he watched Rooster send it. Rooster just shoved him with his shoulder.

“Look, it’s my date, so I’ll ask my way.”

Hangman held up his hands in surrender, both of them looking back at the phone when it signalled a new message.

I’d like that! What are you thinking?

“A good question. What are you thinking of doing?”

“Well, I’m thinking I want to take her stargazing.”

“On a first date?”

“A few days ago, she said she loves the stars but she hasn’t ever gone stargazing.”

“Alright, fair enough.”

“Actually, I have a favor to ask.”

“What’s up?”

“Can I borrow your truck? My car doesn’t have a flatbed.”

“Ah, and you want to do the whole ‘blankets and pillows in the bed’ thing, yeah?”

“I was hoping.”

“Fine, you can borrow my truck after training tomorrow. But only if I get to drive the Bronco.”

“Deal.”

It’s a surprise ;) Pick you up at 7?

He didn’t have to wait long for a response.

I look forward to it, Lieutenant. See you at 7!

Bradley laughed when he slid into the car in the base’s parking lot. The sun visor was down, displaying several sticky notes from Jake, who had felt the need to leave several tips.

If she tilts her chin up at you, she wants you to kiss her.

Consent is sexy

Stick an extra jacket in the back in case she gets cold

Ask about a second date when you drop her off--don’t keep waiting!

Don’t screw this up

You can thank me later

He flipped the sun visor back up and drove to your place. He’d been waiting for a chance to take you stargazing, and he couldn’t wait to surprise you.

When he saw you in the doorway, he grinned, tucking you into a hug in greeting.

“Can I ask where we’re going?”

“It’s a surprise for a reason,” he teased, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Want to get going?”

“Let’s get out of here.” You leaned in to kiss him properly, feeling his grin against your lips.

“Mmm, Mrs. Bradshaw. Kissing before a first date?”

“Is that what Jake thinks this is?”

“It’s certainly what he’s betting me twenty dollars for.” You laughed as he picked up the bag he’d prepared for the evening. You couldn’t wait to see what was in it, as he had told you sternly not to open it. He offered his arm to you and the two of you strolled to the car.

You stopped when you saw the truck, a question on your face.

“Just wait,” he said, helping you into the passenger seat. He bounced over to the other side and opened the sun visor to show you the sticky notes while he put the bag in the backseat.

“Oh my, this is so sweet,” you cooed as you read them. “Bradley, look at this. Jake’s such a sweetheart.”

“He’s a regular old softie, huh.” Bradley grinned, knowing full well he wouldn’t be able to tease the other man.

“Bradley, we have to do something nice for him.”

He reached over a hand to hold your face. “How about we enjoy our date first?”

“Mmm, I’ve been looking forward to it all day.”

When he stopped the car in the middle of nowhere and started laying out blankets in the truck bed, you realized his plan. You hadn’t realized you could love him more than you did, but he had remembered a single off-handed mention that you loved the stars. He offered a hand to help you up into the bed and offering you the snacks he had brought.

The two of you laid on your sides, facing each other and chatting as you watched the sky. You reached out to brush his hair back from his forehead. You kept playing with it, running your fingers through the soft locks as he leaned into the contact.

“I still can’t believe you remembered this,” you said softly.

“Course I did.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

You shook your head affectionately, turning onto your back to look up. “Not possible, Bradshaw.”

He took your hand again, lifting it to his lips briefly. You sighed contentedly without turning your gaze from the pinpricks of light above you.

“I get why you love it up there,” you commented. “It’s beautiful.”

“Beautiful,” he repeated. You turned to look at him, only to find him still watching you, with adoration in his eyes.

“You are so sweet to me.”

“Only the best for my best girl.”

You shifted closer to him, tilting your chin up. He grinned, taking the hint and rolling on top of you. Bradley kissed you sweetly at first, propped up above you. That is, until you took his lower lip between your teeth lightly. He grinned against your lips before deepening the kiss.

The stars in the sky weren’t the only stars you saw that night.

Lovin’ Feelin’ Taglist (I think I got everyone, but if not, shoot me a message):

@red-ace-in-space @ohh-to-be-a-frog @alana4610 @mirandastuckinthe80s @partofmejustwantstosleep @rosiahills22 @alanadetigy @natasharomanoffisbaebby@natasharomanoffisbaebby @havaneselover08 @jules-1999 @katiemcrae @lttlemer @hufflepufftruffle @heavanskitchen @roses-and-grasses @littlehippies-world @cherrycola27 @lol-idk-10 @blue-aconite @angstyjellybean @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @lovemesomevesey @shanimallina87 @luckyladycreator2 @dhekebekenen @junie-july @erinswrld @hope-love-equality2 @blackwidownat2814 @sydneejean

Let me know if you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist for this universe of fics!

#bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster x reader #rooster #jake hangman seresin #top gun #top gun maverick

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alwritey-aphrodite · 2 years

Text

Birthday Surprise

You Are In Love universe one-shot

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Pairing: modern!Poe Dameron x gn!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 1.6k

Author’s Note: another little birthday gift for y��all! This doesn’t necessarily take place after Chapter 7, just at some point in this little universe I’ve created :)

You had never really loved your birthday: sure, when you were younger, you enjoyed it. It was a day all about you, where you got tons of presents and all the attention. But, as you got older, the attention made you uncomfortable and the gifts were nothing to look forward to, because you rarely got anything.

You remember being in high school, and going out of your way to buy thoughtful gifts for your friends, and delivering them to their house if you didn’t see them.

None of your friends ever went out of their way to do anything like that for you.

Your birthday often leaves you feeling alone and forgotten.

It wasn’t like you were greedy, it wasn't about getting gifts or having people lavish you with attention. You would have loved to receive a card or even just a text that said ‘happy birthday’.

Birthdays were hard enough without feeling entirely alone.

So you never really mentioned when your birthday was to Rose, or the rest of the group. You didn’t want them to feel pressured into doing something for you when they didn’t want to, you never wanted anyone to feel obligated to celebrate your birthday in any form.

You didn’t even realize that you never told her when your birthday was until a few days ago. She’d been complaining about having to train a new hire during a morning shift, and then said, “But at least you’ll be here.”

“Hate for you to find out this way, but I actually took off.”

You burst into laughter at the look of shock on her face: not because she’s upset at you, but because you very rarely take off from work, unless you’re sick or there’s an emergency.

“And why in the hell did you do that?”

“I didn’t feel like getting up early on my birthday.”

At that, she freezes. You instantly regret mentioning it, because now she’s going to feel obligated to do something for you, because she really is a sweet person, but you’re going to feel awful about it.

You can see the gears turning in her head, but all she says is, “Enjoy sleeping in.”

You push that interaction to the back of your mind: it’s the only way you won’t dwell on it for the rest of your life. And, by the time your birthday rolls around, you barely even remember that you told Rose.

You sleep in, so much so that it’s closer to the afternoon when you finally roll out of bed. You make yourself a breakfast of your favorite items, and then luxuriate in the shower, standing under the stream of water for as long as you want.

After you pull on some comfy clothes, you settle in front of the TV with old sitcoms playing and some watercolors in front of you. You spend the afternoon just like that, painting and snacking while your favorite shows play quietly in the background.

And then, there’s a knock at your door.

You really hadn’t been expecting anything, and you highly doubt that any of your family members would surprise you.

So you’re incredibly shocked when you open the door to reveal Rose, Rey, Finn, and Poe, all decked out in party hats, their arms laden with gifts and balloons and cake.

“Surprise!” Rey shouts, and you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing if you tried.

“We all hated the idea of you spending your birthday alone,” Rose is quick to explain when she notices your tears, “I’m sorry, I really should have asked first.”

“No, no” you reply, wiping your eyes, “this is… the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.” You step back to allow your friends to enter your apartment, still wiping the tears away from your eyes. You can’t even remember the last time someone put in the effort to throw you a birthday party, let alone a surprise party.

“Now I feel underdressed,” you say with a small laugh, gesturing down at your lounge clothes, “I’ll be right back.”

“Take your time, we’ll be setting up here,” Rose responds, setting down one of the many bags onto your kitchen table as you disappear into your bedroom.

You know that you don’t actually have to change, they’ve all seen you in your pajamas before, but they went through all the trouble to put all of this together for you, the least you could do was put on some presentable clothes.

When you emerge from your room, the kitchen and living room have been transformed: there are balloons and streamers all over, a cake on the kitchen counter, and a pile of gifts on your ottoman. You have to fight the urge to cry again.

Where did you get such amazing friends?

“We know it’s not a lot, but we all thought you deserved to have a little celebration,” Rose says, and you pull her into a tight hug. You knew this was all her idea, and while everyone else was clearly keen to help out, you could tell she was the mastermind behind it all.

“It’s perfect, really,” you release Rose from your grip as you talk, only to be pulled into Rey’s arms, “thank you guys, honestly.”

“Cake or presents first?” Finn asks, pulling you into a side-shoulder hug: much less smothering but no less affectionate.

“Cake first?” You look around to see if anyone disagrees, because it really didn’t matter to you all that much. What mattered is that your friends were happy after they’d put together this wonderful little party.

“It’s your big day, we do whatever you want.” Poe responds, and you’d be worried that he’s bitter if you didn’t see that gentle little smile on his face, a smile that tells you that everything’s alright.

You all make your way back to the kitchen, and you take your first good look at the cake. It’s frosted in your favorite color, and you can tell that Rose made it from the handwritten, frosted ‘happy birthday!’ across the center of the cake.

You can’t remember the last time someone actually made you a birthday cake.

Then, the numbered candles are stuck into the cake, and your least favorite part of the whole birthday celebration begins: singing happy birthday. You never really know what to do with yourself, and it always leaves you feeling awkward and uncomfortable.

But, today, you find that you don’t hate it as much as you normally do. You’re sure it has everything to do with the people singing it.

After you’ve blown out your candles, you move to cut and serve the cake, but Rose immediately shoos you away.

“Just sit and relax, let us take care of you for once.”

And, as much as you it seems wrong to admit, it feels nice to be taken care of, to be surrounded by people who love you and who want to take care of you. It’s a foreign feeling, and you don’t completely hate it.

After the cake had been passed out and eaten, you all move back to the living room to open the gifts. It still shocked you that people would go out of their way to pick out something for you, to think about the things you enjoy and then buy something for you.

All of the gifts are so thoughtful you have to keep reminding yourself not to cry. Finn got you some new brushes, after you’d complained about how yours were falling apart after so much use. Rey and Rose bought you a small houseplant, complete with an adorable little pot, after you’d mentioned wishing you had more greenery in your apartment.

It completely baffled you that you could mention something once, in passing, and your friends would remember it.

And Poe’s gift was probably the best of all. It’s a picture of the five of you, all crowded around the bar of The Resistance, from the night your mural was first displayed. It’s something so simple, but so insanely meaningful, you wonder if you even had a chance at not falling for him.

You can’t take your eyes off of it, can’t look away from your smiling faces staring back at you from the TV stand where you’d displayed the picture. It fills your heart with warmth and makes your brain all fuzzy, in a way that you can’t name but isn’t wholly unpleasant.

It’s well past midnight when your friends leave, in a flurry of hugs and promises to get together again soon and to text when they get home safely. The night was spent playing card games and eating snacks, telling each other embarrassing stories and laughing so hard you cry at each other’s expense.

It’s the best birthday you’ve had in years.

Poe sticks around, citing the cramped elevator and needing to help you clean up.

Although, not much cleaning gets accomplished. Instead, the majority of your time is spent talking, doubling over in laughter as you attempt to clean up the gift bags and wrapping paper that litters your living room floor.

Much to your dismay, Poe leaves around 1 in the morning, with a hug that lasts a little longer than it should and a “happy birthday” whispered into your ear, making a shiver run down your spine.

You try not to think much of it as he shuts the door behind him.

Instead, you decide the rest of the cleaning can wait, and you get ready for bed in record time before curling under the covers and falling asleep, all to be greeted by the best dreams you’ve had in a long time.

Tags: @aellynera @disabledameron @stevenngrant @dailyreverie @creatively-analytical @luckynachos @poopirate @fallinallinmendes @sabxism @tiquinntheghost @ghostsongwriter-22

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron fanfic #modern!poe dameron #modern!poe dameron x reader #star wars fanfiction #star wars au #you are in love series #it’s my birthday and I’m going to make it everyone’s problem

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eremiie · 4 years

Note

ok ok so can you write a nsfw about armin being a little jealous about your outfit before a party and fucking you stupid until you can’t speak to let you know you’re his😋😋

thank youuu

speak up;

❥ armin x reader | nsfw | 2.5k words

❥ content: choking, semi-public sex, armin is a menace, armin is also a sneaky bitch, armin gets jealous🙄

armin didn't like the eyes on you.

they were too many people rubbing against you. he could practically feel the sweat rubbing against your skin as you danced with the crowd, the people stepping on your own pretty toes, and he could almost hear the slosh of people's drinks in their cups as they moved around the floor.

armin never really had a problem with eyes on you, as a matter of fact— it always made him feel a small sense of bashful pride. it was like recognition that yes, him, armin arlert had you in his hands. that you were his, and he took pride in that, he loved to show you off in the most subtle ways, and loved hearing compliments about you from others.

but today was a little different, for one, he didn't want to be at this party. he was only there because you and eren had dragged him to it. the two of them claimed that it'd be nice to see him out for a little bit and not in the comfort of his dorm, as if he never got out. he was sure they failed to realize that he out of all their friends was the one most likely to agree to any gathering they wanted to go to. that he was usually present, and happy to come along.

you tried dragging him out to the crowd with you but he was fine with where he sat next to mikasa and jean. he kept his eye on you though, watching the way your hips moved with the music and the way your face was graced with this constant smile. you were clearly enjoying yourself, clearly enjoying yourself maybe a little too much that you weren't aware of the guy behind you, smiling back down at you with his drink in hand, the liquid in the cup too close to tipping over and spilling on you.

it'd be a shame if it did, you looked too pretty. your dress was too pretty. it came up mid thigh, a pretty baby blue color that complimented your skin all too well— not to mention his favorite color of the lot. the dress showed your cleavage coming down to reveal a bit of your stomach just between your breasts while the sleeves and the rest of the dress were tight around your body.

armin remembered complimenting you on your attire just earlier before the party, giving you a sweet smile and telling you how beautiful you looked. but now, since he wasn't enjoying his self it was a shame that other people got to enjoy how good you looked and he didn't. that other people got to be so close to you, feeling the fabric of your dress against their skin and not his.

armin didn't like sharing. what was his was his, and he didn't see a reason it had to be anyone else's.

he almost wanted the guy next to you to spill his drink over you so he had a reason to drag you to the bathroom, and help you get cleaned up. scold you for being too close to everyone else, although there wasn't necessarily an issue with that, he knew that if he selected his words carefully he could make even the dumbest things come from his mouth sound plausible.

maybe if he stared long enough the cup would tilt over.

"armin, are you okay?" his head whipped to the side, practically jolting at the sound of his name. he was clearly too caught up in his own thoughts, and mikasa must've caught him staring a little too hard your way.

he blinked a couple times, rubbings up and down his arms from where they were leaned forward on the table, collecting himself. he smiled at mikasa, nodding his head. "yeah! i'm fine, why what's up? are you okay?"

mikasa studied armin for a couple seconds before clearing her throat and reaching for her drink seated in front of her. she took a couple sips of the clear liquid, shaking her head as the drink washed down her throat before setting it down on the table with a reciprocating nod. her cheeks were slightly flushed, maybe from the temperature of the room, or the alcohol in her system. armin couldn't figure why as he was too lost in his own head only moments before. "yes, i'm fine. you looked a little upset."

"really?" was he that obvious? "me? upset? i've just been sitting here, i'm not upset."

"well, i know you didn't want to come, so i was just checking up on you."

armin hummed in response. she wasn't wrong, he didn’t want to be here. mikasa was just as observant as armin, so he let the conversation go, something else was occupying his thoughts anyways.

when he turned his head back to where you were previously dancing you weren't there anymore— neither was the guy you were dancing with, and armin's eyebrows came together, clear confusion dancing across his face while the cogs in his brain worked.

he glanced back towards mikasa, pushing his chair back and standing up. "where's _____?"

she fiddled with the handle of the glass in front of her, shaking her head at armin. "she went to the bathroom when we were talking."

armin breathed out a sigh of relief. how did he miss that? he wasn't insecure, no— it's just that there's a plethora of things that could've happened to you of course, the world was a crazy place after all. he found comfort in knowing you weren't too far from him. he trusted you, yes, but sometimes the thoughts in the back of his head made out the worst outcomes.

"thanks, i'll be right back. i have to use the bathroom too."

armin hadn't drank anything all night, actually, and mikasa knew this. there wasn't even a glass seated in front of him like her, but she brushed it off, averting her attention back to jean next to her.

the blonde swiftly made his way around the crowd of people until his hands were smoothing over the front door of the bathrooms. he saw the sign— there was a clear stick figure symbol of a woman on the door but he put the thought to the back of his mind. he already was making up an excuse if anyone had asked, although he knew that there'd be a rare chance of anyone else in the bathroom with you.

you didn't bother glancing to see who was at the door of the bathroom, continuing to dry your hands at the hand dryer. you couldn't help but remember when armin told you that hand dryers were actually less sanitary than drying with actual paper towels. the thought made you giggle to yourself.

you hadn't really seen armin all night, but you also didn't have to worry about this too much, as you looked to the side, armin's figure stalking towards you in the long mirror above the sinks.

you practically jumped out your skin, not expecting armin to be in the bathroom with you. you weren't even worried about the fact that he was in the women's bathroom yet, just the fact that the second your boyfriend was on your mind he was creeping up on you.

"armin!" you sighed, turning around and dragging your hands down the sides of your dress to rid your hands of the excess moisture. "what are you doing in here?"

armin looked up to the ceiling for a brief moment before grabbing your hand, pulling you more towards him. "what are you doing in here? isn't this the men's bathroom?"

you shook your head at armin, pressing yourself against his chest. you really did miss him, you felt away from him for almost too long. "did you read the sign? this is the girls bathroom, hon."

"must've missed it." he murmured, hand smoothing over the back of your dress. "you know what else i missed?" when your head lifted off his chest to look up at him he moved both of his hands to your sides, softly pushing you backwards until your backside was met with the counter of the sink.

"me?"

"you."

his lips pressed against your own, only a quick peck at first, a smile gracing his face at the simple gesture. your eyes dart towards the door for a second but before you could say anything armin connected his lips with yours again, taking your jaw between his cold slender fingers.

you could feel the soft locks of his hair on your forehead, and smell the familiar scent of fresh linen drifting off of him. it was comforting being in his presence again, almost like all your thoughts melted away whenever he came around. he brought a sense of security with him— you almost were no longer worried about someone walking in. of course the thought did still linger on your mind.

his tongue slipped into your mouth as he held your jaw gently before kissing the corner of your lips, your cheek and then your ear, turning your body around, the two of you facing the mirror. he pressed up against your backside, his lips pecking your neck before resting on your shoulder for a brief moment. "missed you so much."

"missed you too, min." his hand teased its way down the slit between your breasts, finger tips grazing over the soft fabric of your dress, you could feel them oh so gently over your skin, as if he was trying to be gentle with you. his head buried into your neck, inhaling your smell and relishing in the feeling of you against him. you were thankful to be with him once more, but you could tell he wanted something more just by the way his body slotted with yours. "but, not here."

armin pouted, hands dancing their way down to your thighs until they were pulling at the hem of your dress, simply snapping it against your skin over and over again. "come on, nobody will come in." he stared at you through the mirror, grinning at you while his blue eyes steadied on yours. they reminded you of the dress that was clad against your body, such a pretty shade. "plus you look beautiful, baby."

with the way armin peppered your neck in kisses you almost didn't realize the way your dress began to slide up your thighs and over your ass, until you felt armin's hands palming the soft plush of your thighs, a content hum rumbling deep in his throat.

you knew he was hard to stop once he started, he was clearly a little desperate to have you— although you weren't sure why. it wasn't usual for him to be so eager to have his hands on you, for him to be so touchy. he knew your personal space and your boundaries; not that he was pushing them, it was just odd to see him so bound on being close to you like this.

"thank you," you tried to further push the thought of the door opening at any second to the back of your brain while armin payed attention to your lower half. his hands tickled your sides as he pulled your underwear down by hooking his finger the band and pulling until they were dropping to your ankles, your body shuddering at the cold air meeting your cunt. "armin—"

"so beautiful." his gaze was trained on you, glistening with your slick, and his hand pushed your back further down until you were leaning against the sink counter, armin's hands working at your ass. "gonna make you feel so good, right? want me to make you feel good?"

when you felt his thumb prod at your entrance, and the fumble of his belt and jeans you let out a small gasp, immediately biting your lip and answering with an "mhm" which he took as an okay. once his pants were gathered around his waist he wasted no time lining himself up with you, inching his way in with a loud groan that he was sure nobody could hear over the music just outside the bathrooms.

armin wasn't afraid of getting caught, it was something he liked about the thought of it— the thought of someone, anyone walking into him fucking you hard, your body bent over the sink counter. it would only go to show that it was and would always be him fucking you, not some random intoxicated guy who managed to get behind you on the floor, not anybody, just him.

he didn't even realize that he was fucking into you harder, faster, until he heard cut up whimpers of his name from you, your hand reaching back to try to grab at his thigh. "armin," you managed to get out as you watched him through the mirror, his eyes meeting yours. "fuck."

the sight was nice, blonde hairs that hugged his forehead bouncing with every one of his thrusts, a blush crawling over his porcelain skin with one of his hands on your hips pulling you back on him and the other pressing into the small of your back.

your lips were parted, tits jumping with every stroke of his as you laid your head against your arm that was folded underneath you, taking armin almost effortlessly as if he was made for you. it felt so good, like he said it would, and you didn't doubt him for a second. he always knew how to fuck you just right, how to make you dumb just from his cock, no matter the occasion.

he grabbed your hand trying to reach for him and folded it over your back where his hand was previously. seeing you held down under him, for him, made something twist in his stomach, his dick twitching from inside you.

you winced at the angle, opening your mouth to speak but nothing coming out. armin spoke for you though, leaning down to your ear, only causing you to wince from the strain on your arm. "what's that?"

your eyes squeezed shut at the sensation, him stretching you out nicely, pulling out until you were only full with his tip until pushing in deep, sliding against your walls. his hips met your ass with every thrust and you let out a broken moan when he used his free hand to wrap around the back of your neck and pull you up until his breath could be felt against your ear. "you wanted to say something?" the new angle made his cock rub against that sweet spot inside of you, and when your body jerked the first time he hit it, he chuckled.

"min," you groaned, eyes fluttering to watch him fuck you from the mirror. his balls slapped against your ass every time he pumped into you, and you let your eyes roll back and shut again. you could barely form words, you knew your sentence would be jumbled. you knew it wouldn't come out right and armin felt pride in that.

"speak up, i can't hear you..." his voice still held that sweet undertone, almost condescending how he spoke to you. like he knew the affect he had, he knew how well he was fucking you. he let go of your arm and moved his hand to pull the slit of the dress to the side, one of your tits falling out, and armin letting his hand knead the soft flesh, giving him more leverage and pulling you closer to him. "am i fucking you that stupid that you can't even speak?"

with the way he spoke dirty in your ear, how he toyed with your sensitive buds, the way your slick pooled between your legs, and the way he used you how he wanted, attacking your neck with more kisses. soft pink lips sucking at your skin, nibbling and pulling with his teeth, it was all overwhelming. pleasure flood your body, and before you knew it you were tumbling over the edge, your orgasm crashing over you like a wave.

"armin!" was what you said when it hit you, squeezing around him too tight for his comfort, but he didn't slow down, continuing to fuck into you without faltering too much.

he was close himself, lip between his teeth to not make too much noise. but when he looked into the mirror and saw your fucked out expression as you continued to grind against him while riding out your orgasm, it seemed you were almost asking for more. he came abruptly, eyes widening as he shot into you, his cum hitting your cervix. he was not expecting to come right then and there.

another soft moan left your mouth that was barely audible over armin's own moans. "god, baby..." he panted, trying to catch his breath. his orgasm was intense, his body feeling ahead of his mind— like he needed to catch up to it as he was moving too fast and on his own when he was fucking you.

"i need more," you were still swiveling your hips against armin's, your hand that wasn't sitting behind your back toying at your clit as you stared at him with that same desperation he had earlier. now he had you hooked, and with the way his cock sat inside you, yes, you wanted more from him.

you were needy now, and armin had no problem giving you more either— after all you were his to pleasure and be pleasured.

his chest was still rising up and down as he tucked himself in quickly, helping you pull your own underwear up and your dress back down over your ass and over your breasts.

"let's get out of here and you can have more."

#armin #armin arlert #armin x reader #armin arlert x reader #armin x reader smut #armin arlert x reader smut #armin aot #armin arlert aot #armin smut #armin arlert smut #snk armin

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

Text

If I Fell For You (Part 16) - Drowning

Summary: The reader’s night goes from bad to awful fast but thankfully Jensen shows up at the last second to stop things from getting any worse. But the guilt the reader feels over trying to end things with Jensen to protect him starts to become too much...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,600ish

Warnings: language, being drunk, minor violence, scary situations, angst, fighting, fluff, offscreen death of minor character, anxiety, panic attack, minor injury

A/N: This chapter is a whirlwind! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

It was a close to an hour later and you were halfway through a bottle of bourbon, laying on the back porch of your mom’s house, staring at the rafters and debating finishing off the whole thing.

“Y/N?” you heard. Your skin crawled as you sat up, spotting your father at the other end of the wrap around. “Are you drunk?”

“This would be an appropriate time to tell you that yes, I am and I also have this,” you said, reaching behind your and picking up a hunting rifle. “I might be plastered but I think that’ll only improve my aim. I’ll be nice and shoot for your balls first.”

“You got so much wrong about me kid.”

You fired a shot near his feet and he held up his hands.

“Why don’t you go jump off a bridge or some shit,” you said.

“Y/N.”

You pulled the trigger as he took a step forward and he jumped when it hit the window nearby. You pulled again but it just clicked as he walked closer.

“Your new momma never taught you that kind of rifle only has two shots, did she,” he said. You tried to stand but got way too dizzy and fell down.

“Well I can still tear you apart with my teeth,” you said.

“You’re drunk and judging by your face, very upset. What happened to that boy you were with? I didn’t see him when I looked around.”

“Touch me and that boy will rip your head off.”

“This doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” he said, stepping far too close for your liking. You swung the rifle at him but he caught it and kicked the bottle away before you could get at it. “All grown up. Probably enjoy it now.”

You crawled back as far as you could, eyes darting behind him when you saw movement. You barely caught the brown hair and green eyes before your father was face first on the porch. You tried to stand but he yanked on your ankle and pulled you down hard. It took a long time to peel open your eyes again, your father now at Jensen’s feet. Jensen pushed down on his back while he talked on the phone to someone and it didn’t take long to hear sirens in the distance.

“For the record,” said Jensen as he walked over to you and crouched down, his belt around your father’s wrists, “I didn’t believe you for a second. Oh and you’re a dumbass but you’re my dumbass. Forever. Got it?”

“I couldn’t…” you trailed off. He nodded and took off his flannel, wrapping it over your shoulders. “I knew he would do something and I couldn’t have him near the kids or know they exist. I couldn’t-”

“I know, honey,” he said. “But don’t you dare ever do anything like that again.”

You put your head down sniffled, dizzy still as he rubbed your back before going back to watching your dad.

It took an hour or so before you could go home and you were sober enough to stand on your own.

“Can I ask why you made the executive decision that you did?” asked Jensen, holding your arm loosely as you got into his car to head back.

“Because I’m stupid,” you said dryly from the passenger seat as he turned on his SUV.

“I mean more so why didn’t you come to me if you were scared? Why make up a lie?”

“You did let me go. You must have believed me at least for a few seconds,” you said.

“No, I actually didn’t.”

“You let me go.”

He was quiet until you got close to the brewery, Jensen pulling off onto the plot of land he owned next to it. You leaned your head against the cold window and he turned off the engine.

“This whole, tired, don’t talk to me attitude right now? Been there. Lived it. I know it’s bullshit.”

“You let me leave so you did believe me so-” you said, Jensen pressing a finger to your lips.

“I am certain of very few things and you are one of them. I let you go so I could figure out what scared you so badly you’d lie, to me. There’s only one thing I can think of so before you even had a foot out of that house, I was calling people and I got put on with Detective Finn who worked your case as a kid and I find out that dick for brains sack of shit just moved practically down the street from us. It does not take a genius to put the pieces together.”

“Fine! I did it in some stupid attempt to protect you,” you said. You glared at him and he shook his head. “What?”

“I’m not gonna get mad at you.” You put your head back on the window and stared out to the dark trees, sniffling some. “Why do you want me to be angry with you?”

“Uh because I didn’t forget to turn on the washing machine or leave on a light. I lied. I lied so big that-”

“You lied to protect your family from a monster. Do I wish you had told me? Yes. But I fuck up so much and you’ve never once been angry with me for making a mistake and I’ll never be angry with you for making one either. I know you want me to be angry with you, feel like you should be punished for what you imagine is hurting me. But you didn’t hurt me, Y/N. You didn’t and I know you get that because so many times you’ve been on the other side of this and I know you’ve never once thought, oh yeah Jensen’s a piece of shit, let him really have it. No. Just no. So I’m not getting mad at you and I don’t know what to fucking say to make you feel better like you always do me and I’m so sorry he got so close to hurting you again. But I’m really good at fighting monsters in this family. So please next time, I don’t care if you’re scared of the bug on the wall or you think someone’s outside the house or what it is. If you’re scared, tell me and I’ll do my best to make it go away, I promise.”

“What do you do when you want to hate yourself for being an idiot?” you asked quietly. You heard him shift in his seat and you shut your eyes, the sound of a door opening and then another. Strong arms wrapped around you and you buried your face in his chest.

“I try to treat myself as kindly as she does. She would never hate me and she hates when I’m in pain. I see it all over her face. So I try to cut myself some slack and ask myself if she would hate me and when I realize no, I’m forced to forgive myself and it normally takes a few hours but it works pretty good. A lot of hugs and cuddling don’t hurt either.”

“Thank you for stopping him.”

“Don’t.”

“Thank you. I owe you so, so much.”

“You don’t owe me a damn thing. We got each other’s backs and that’s all there is to it. I’m just sad I missed you trying to shoot his dick off.”

“How did you know where to find me?”

“Find my iPhone. Also I figured that was a good place to check,” he said. “I would have been here sooner if Jared didn’t drive like a tortoise over to the house to watch the kids.”

“I’m sorry I scared you...and you had to do that tonight.”

“Oh punching your father was a personal highlight for me. Trust me,” he said. He stroked your cheek and you turned into the touch, eyes squeezing shut. “You’re safe.”

“He’s going to get out on bail and-”

“And we have a very good lawyer. Oh, and I know the mayor so fuck his ass, he’s not getting bail.”

You buried your face once again and he put a finger under your chin, lifting it up.

“You’re still scared.”

“He’s gonna get arrested for what, trespassing? Attempted assault? I was drunk and shot at him. He can spin it. He can spin it and be out on the street like that.”

“I’m going to ask the lawyer to do something else, something that maybe can take care of that problem.”

“What?”

“Once a piece of shit, always a piece of shit. He’s been gone for fifteen years. I have this bad feeling you weren’t the only one. Or even before that.”

“Or maybe he just hates me.”

“You don’t have to be scared. I’m gonna take care of it.”

“Jensen, I know you don’t have to worry about the money but it might still not be enough.”

“It’s enough,” he said. “Or else next time I’ll be the one with the rifle.”

“You would kill him?”

“Honestly? Yeah if it came to it. I wish people like him died in car crashes, not innocent ones. We have every right to protect ourselves and our family and I’m not letting him touch the kids or you ever.”

“I should probably say that’s bad but I don’t disagree.”

“Money works a lot. A real lot. Maybe he did something super bad and he can rot in prison forever.”

“Maybe,” you said, spotting a cruiser pull up nearby.

“Stay here, sweetie,” he said. He walked over while the officer got out. He spoke to Jensen for a moment, Jensen’s face a bit blank when he turned around.

“What’s wrong?”

“Your dad had a heart attack in the backseat,” said Jensen quietly. You cocked your head and he shook his. “Your father. In the police cruiser that was taking him for booking. He was just pronounced.”

“He died?”

“He was really overweight and didn’t look to be in the best health. He probably got his heart rate up too high and...the officer said he’d escort us home, stay outside the house for the night, calm our nerves.”

“He’s really dead?” you asked. You looked over at the officer and he came over, giving you a quick smile. “He really died?”

“Yes mam.”

“What...happens now?” you asked.

“We’ll file the report but you don’t necessarily need to press charges anymore. You’re next of kin as far as we’re aware so the body…” he trailed off when he looked at you. “We can talk about this with your lawyer.”

“Thanks,” said Jensen. “We’ll be on the road in a minute.”

The officer climbed back in his cruiser, Jensen leaning against the doorframe. He tucked your hair behind your ear, letting out a deep breath.

“Y/N,” he said. He stroked your cheek, your head turning up. “What is it, honey?”

“I don’t feel bad at all. I’m actually happy. That kinda is freaking me out a little. You shouldn’t be happy someone died.”

“Most people you’re right, you shouldn’t. But there are exceptions. He tormented you. He harassed you. He came after our family. I’m gonna sleep just fine tonight knowing he’s never coming back in our lives.”

“Were you scared of him?” He ducked his head down and you took hold of his hand. “Jensen.”

“Put it this way, I’d protect my family by any means necessary. What scares me was what if I was five minutes later tonight. Ten minutes. My job is to protect you and especially from monsters like that.”

“I’m a big girl Jensen. You don’t have to protect me from anything.”

“Yes I do, just like if it were me in your shoes I know you’d have done the same exact thing. We protect each other. It’s not because I’m the guy or I’m stronger. You’re my family and that’s what we do.”

“Thank you for protecting me and forgiving me for being stupid earlier,” you said. He smiled and nodded.

“You’re my dumbass and I’m yours,” he said. “Want to go home now?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I really do.”

“He’s really gonna spend the night?” you asked half an hour later in bed, Jensen shutting the door after himself. “He knows there’s a cop outside, right?”

“What can I say, Jared...he thinks of you like a little sister,” he said. “I can’t blame him for being protective.”

“I’ll be right back,” you said. You climbed out of bed and went downstairs, the light dim aside from where Jared was reading on the couch, a blanket over his legs. He looked over the top of the book and set it down, sitting up.

“Everything alright?” he asked. You smiled and took a seat on the edge of the couch, pulling him into a hug.

“Thanks for staying,” you said, a pair of large arms wrapped around your back.

“Of course.”

“You do know there’s nobody to bother us now, right?”

“I know. Some peace of mind never hurt anybody though,” he said. “Go on back to your fiance. You guys had a rough night.”

“Yeah,” you said, closing your eyes. “Thanks.”

He kissed your temple and you returned to your room, Jensen pulling you under the covers. You let out a deep breath, turning into his side.

“Here,” he said. He started to take off his bracelet but you shook your head.

“It’s yours, Jensen. I feel safe, I promise.”

“You’re tense still, honey.”

“Still working on that not being so angry at myself thing,” you said. He smiled and kissed you quickly, laying an arm over your waist. “I know what you said but I still want you to be pissed at me for lying.”

“You didn’t hurt me.”

“But-”

“You didn’t hurt me, Y/N and you know what? Sometimes, you’re gonna hurt me and I’m gonna hurt you. We’ll have bad days and get annoyed with one another. I’ll leave dishes in the sink and make a mess of the closet. You’ll chew with your mouth open and never fill up your car with gas until it’s too low. We’re not perfect. But even if we do hurt each other, we forgive each other because that’s what you do. We’re not always gonna like each other and what we do but we’ll always love each other. I don’t want to be mad at you. I want you to feel safe and know that I understand why you did what you did. I do. Please try to let it go, for me.”

“I am trying,” you said quietly. You shut your eyes and turned away, his arm over you pulling you back against his chest. “You’re normal. I can’t just stop hating myself like that.”

“You think I’m normal?” he chuckled. “Me?”

“Did you ever have to punch Dee’s psycho father? Did you ever have to talk about protecting her? Did she ever put your family in danger? Did she ever-”

“Y/N.”

“Go away,” you said, pushing his arm off of you. You moved over farther on your side of the bed, tucking your covers under your chin. The bed shifted and you tried to move again but his arm pulled you straight back to his chest, fingers dipping under your ribcage and holding you in place.

“I might not have had to have done those things for her but I would have. For the record, you didn’t put anyone in danger. That fucking asshole did. It is not your fault he was an evil and vile person. All you did was try to protect us because you were scared and I know, I know you didn’t tell me because you’re so scared of that man and I don’t blame you. He made my skin crawl and I interacted with him for all of five minutes. Get it out of your system however you need to but you are stuck with me forever. There is nothing you could do to make me want you gone so get used to it.”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with this,” you breathed out. You pulled your sheets over your head, taking deep heaving breaths. “You have so much to worry about already. You shouldn’t have to…”

“Did you think I couldn’t handle the news?” he asked. “That your father was so close by?”

“I thought you’d hate me,” you whispered. He tugged down your sheets and you squeezed your eyes shut as he turned you around.

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Now you’re angry.”

“Look at me.” You forced them open, meeting a soft face and sad eyes. “Why would I ever hate you?”

“My shit’s supposed to stay in the past. You don’t…” you said, Jensen furrowing his brow. “See, you’re mad.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Your shit stays in the past.”

“It means you’ve had the world’s worst fucking year and you’re in such a good place now and you need to focus on you and not have my shit come in and fuck that up.”

“Do you think I can’t take care of you?” he asked.

“No of course not.”

“It sounds like you’re saying that you think you can’t have problems cause I can’t handle it.”

“Well at least I got what I wanted with you pissed,” you said, glaring up at him, tears welling in your eyes. You tried to push away but he held his arm around you. “Jensen, let me up.” You pushed again and he glared right back. “Stop it. Let me out of bed.” He only glared and you tore your eyes away from his face.

“Do you think I’m weak?”

“No,” you said, keeping your head low.

“Then why-”

“Because you need a fucking break. I dealt with this shit years and years ago. I understand needing a fucking break and people need to take care of you, help you. You’re a different man than the one I met way back in January. You’re so happy and healthy and you have a different outlook on life again and that’s incredible. I’m so proud of you for that. But you’re just, just out of the woods and I’m not gonna be the one that sends you back in because of my fucking problems.”

“They’re our fucking problems,” he said. “Our problems. There’s no your problems or my problems anymore. It’s us together. Why do you think I’d hate you?”

“Jensen,” you said, pushing on his chest. “Stop.”

“Why?”

“I said stop!”

“Tell me.”

“Because I’m scared,” you said. He let his hold go lax and you sat up, getting out of bed. You walked over to the balcony door and rested your forehead against the cool glass. The bed creaked and you felt his presence behind you.

“You’re scared of me.” You scrunched up your face and nodded. “Why?”

“Because if you realized how fucked up I am, you wouldn’t come near me with a ten foot pole. I’m not supposed to cause you problems. I’m supposed to fix them, be there for you.”

“But I can’t be there for you. You assume I’m just a dick where it’s only me and my shit that we can work on right?” he said.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Relationships go both ways, Y/N. I don’t expect you to take care of me for the rest of my life. You are allowed to need help too.”

“You don’t understand.”

“No, you don’t understand,” he said, grabbing your arm and spinning you around. He was frowning, his voice an octave higher if you didn’t know any better. “Do you honestly think I would have been angry at you if you told me about your father being in town? Do you?”

“I put the kids-”

“For the last time, you didn’t put anyone in danger,” he growled. “What is going on with you?”

“How many times do I have to say it, I’m not supposed to cause any problems!” you said.

“Yes you are! You, me, the kids. We’re all gonna have fucking problems sooner or later. Why do you think I’d hate you for telling me you had a problem, sweetheart?”

You fidgeted with the bottom of your shirt, looking past him.

“Something with your dad, isn’t it. Something got triggered in you after that phone call with the detective, didn’t it.”

“Call Ray. Tell him to come over,” you said quietly. He nodded and grabbed his phone, sending off a quick message before he was guiding you to sit on the bed.

“Honey,” he said when you pulled away from him. “Okay, no touching. Can I get you anything while we wait for Ray?”

“Probably should tell that cop that we’re expecting someone,” you said, rubbing your hands against your thighs. “Fuck, tell Ray it’s the help thing. He’ll understand.”

“Okay,” he said with a nod. You rubbed your legs harder and he stared at you. “Y/N.”

“I’m trying not to have a panic attack,” you grit out. “I haven’t had one since I was eight.”

Your head was turned and you felt his hands on your cheeks, Jensen forcing a smile. You stared for a long beat before you took a breath, his head nodding.

“That feels better,” you said, your hands not rubbing so hard. You heard feet and the door open, glancing behind Jensen to catch Jared in the doorway. You could feel your heart rate pick up, Jared nodding.

“I get panic attacks too,” he said. You nodded and Jensen glanced over his shoulder. “I heard arguing.”

“Can you tell that cop outside Ray is coming by and to let him in?” said Jensen.

“Sure. Who’s Ray?” asked Jared.

“Her mom’s old boyfriend and foster dad. He was her therapist when she was little. Something’s not right,” said Jensen.

“I’ll send him up as soon as he gets here.”

You felt calmer by the time Ray was walking in fifteen minutes later in sweats and not much more.

“Hey kiddo,” said Ray, giving you a quick hug before he squatted down in front of you. “Doing okay?”

You shook your head and shut your eyes, Jensen holding an arm around you. He explained what happened, Ray staying quiet. You eventually opened your eyes to stare at the floor, Ray standing and pulling over the bench from the end of the bed to sit on.

“Y/N do you want Jensen to stay?” he asked. You nodded and he hummed. “Y/N.”

“Yes,” you said dryly. “Can I have some water?”

Jensen got up and retrieved a glass from the bathroom, the pair of them watching you chug half of it down before you sat it on the nightstand.

“Y/N, does Jensen know what triggered you?” he asked.

“Not specifically. Asking for help he figured out but not the reason,” you said, looking away.

“Well on the bright side, you didn’t have a panic attack, you worked through it, you trusted Jensen to help you through it even if he didn’t know why and some of your coping skills helped you out quite a bit. But this is something Jensen needs to know. You’ll need help in a relationship and I know this is the big one but he needs to know so this never happens again,” said Ray.

“What if he thinks I overreacted?” you said.

“I won’t, trust me,” said Jensen. “Secret’s safe with me.”

“Go on, Y/N,” said Ray. You took a deep breath and Jensen held your hand, stroking his thumb over the back.

“So you kinda figured out that me having a problem was the trigger and that I didn’t ask for your help earlier and kinda assumed a bad reaction if I did.”

“Yup and that’s all okay,” he said softly.

“It wasn’t because of you that I assumed you’d have a bad reaction. It was something that happened to me that sort of...default my head to react and anticipate things in a certain way in that particular situation.”

“So if you have a problem and ask for help, you assume the person you’re asking for help from will not take it in a good way?” he asked.

“Yeah, basically. If it’s a really big problem and if I anticipate that the problem would upset the person I��m asking then my head assumes this bad thing will happen. In that case, it assumes the much better option is to not reveal the problem at all and handle it myself because then the bad thing won’t happen,” you said.

“The bad thing. It’s bad isn’t it,” he said. “Really bad.”

“Y/N, remember you can share without the graphics involved,” said Ray. You nodded and leaned your head back.

“When I was six I broke something of my dad’s. A mug. His favorite mug. I picked up the pieces but I knew it was his favorite so I didn’t throw it out. I asked him for help putting it back together,” you said. “The amount of rage he had over a broken mug...I never experienced such a horrible day in all eight years as that one.”

He didn’t say anything and you tucked your feet up, holding one up to him and showing the bottom. He stared at it and cocked his head, narrowing his eyes. It took him a moment but you saw when he noticed the small little scars. His eyes flickered back to yours and you nodded.

“He hurt me badly,” you said. “All day long.” He stared at you and you told him exactly the way the scars came to be, Jensen shuddering and closing his eyes. “It wasn’t a good day.”

“Fuck,” he said, standing up and rubbing his arm. “You were six?”

He shook his head and went to the balcony door, taking a deep breath.

“Jensen. You alright?” asked Ray.

“No,” he said, turning around, looking to you. “That many times?”

“One for every broken piece,” you said. He ran his hands over his face and shut his eyes. “The worst thing was just that it went on all day. It was long enough for me to interpret it as conditioning for a result of an event rather than just a bad memory from everything me and Ray worked out back in the day. It hasn’t been a trigger for me ever really but we knew it could be someday for a big life problem potentially. I’m guessing with it involving my dad, it kinda sent me into overdrive earlier.”

“Jensen,” said Ray, shooting you a quick glance. “Y/N’s okay. I’m actually quite impressed with her behavior. There was no hesitancy or waiver in her voice. I don’t feel as though this will likely be an issue ever again now that it’s out in the open and her father is gone.”

“You’re the closest thing to a father she’s ever had,” said Jensen, rubbing the back of his neck. “You know every horrible thing that’s happened to her and, and you just...all you did was throw him out of the country for fifteen years?”

“First off, the law was different back then and it was a lifetime ban. Second of all, buddy, violence isn’t always the answer to violence,” said Ray, getting to his feet.

“You should have adopted her.”

“She didn’t want me to.”

“You were the damn adult. She was the kid. Act like one,” said Jensen. “I mean fuck, you adopted two other kids only a few years later.”

“If I had adopted her you wouldn’t even know she fucking exists,” shot back Ray. “Her father still would have come back and this would have happened regardless.”

“You should have done what you needed to the second he popped up again when she was a teenager.”

“I did not strike you as a violent man but I do not like it.”

“She was almost assaulted by that man again tonight,” growled Jensen. “He tortured her and tormented her and he got barely any time at all for that. I would have-”

“Why’d you call the police then?” he asked. Jensen swallowed and Ray shrugged. “Why back at the farmhouse did you call the police? You could have killed him, called it self-defense and been done with it. Why?”

Jensen looked down and Ray sighed.

“The price for being a good person is making hard decisions, Jensen. Would I have loved to have rid the world of that son of a bitch the second I learned all about him? Oh you don’t know the half of it. I’m a trauma therapist, Jensen. Mostly for kids and teenagers. Do you know how much fucked up shit I’ve heard in my life? The world has so much ugliness in it. But it’s got good too and that’s why you called the police like you were supposed to and that’s why she loves you. She needs a good man, not a violent one. I’m not saying don’t think about protecting your family. But don’t act on it unless you don’t have a fucking choice, kid. Understand me?”

Jensen nodded and Ray cleared his throat.

“Say it.”

“Yes, sir,” said Jensen quietly.

“Ray, don’t get mad at him. He’s not used to this stuff,” you said. You stood and pulled Jensen back to the bed, Ray crossing his arms and nodding. “If I ever feel this happening again, what should I do?”

“You could work on reconditioning instead,” said Ray. “Work on saying I have a problem to Jensen and ask for help, even if there isn’t a problem. If Jensen responds positively or even neutrally and you two work at it maybe an hour or so a day for the next week or two, I don’t think you’ll ever have to be afraid of that trigger coming back. All of your triggers Y/N have involved your father. I know similarities can set you off but they’re small, manageable. You never have to worry about anyone hurting you ever again.”

“I know. I should have trusted my partner to have my back,” you said.

“I don’t blame you. I didn’t before and I definitely don’t now,” said Jensen. Ray smiled and pulled the bench back over to the bed.

“Get some rest you two,” he said.

“Ray?” you said after he gave you a hug. “Why didn’t you adopt me?”

“Honestly?” he asked. You nodded, Jensen preening his ears. “You reminded me so much of your mother and I was devastated when we lost her. I should have been the adult and done what was right but after seeing her in pain for years...I didn’t have it in me to take on a grieving teenager that would have been just as angry back at me. She already was so angry then, I would have put fuel on the flames. I didn’t have it in me to be strong anymore and that’s my mistake for not trying.”

“You can adopt adults,” said Jensen. You both looked at him and he smiled. “Adults can be adopted.”

“Not sure if…” trailed off Ray as you smiled at him. “Y/N, we’ve only just started talking again.”

“Maybe if that keeps going well...maybe things could...work out…” you said. “If you wanted.”

“Yeah, maybe we can do that,” he said with a smile. “It’s getting late. Put her to bed. Don’t be surprised if there’s a nightmare or two tonight.”

“Okay. Thank you,” said Jensen as Ray started to leave.

“Take care of her kid,” he said. Jensen nodded and you lay back in bed, the house growing quiet.

“I’m so sorry,” said Jensen, his head lowering after a few moments. “I should have realized…”

“You did realize,” you said, sitting up. “Even when my head couldn’t come out and say I trust you and I know I’m acting a certain way because of what my dad put me through, you stayed calm and figured it out. You got nothing to be sorry for.”

“I’m sorry he hurt you. I got to pretend to be a cowboy and my dad read me stories when I was six. The worst thing I ever got was a few smacks but I know he regrets doing that,” he said. “Even then it was because I was acting out not…I just don’t understand why he would ever hurt you.”

“I stopped trying to understand him a long time ago,” you said, the door opening. You both turned, Arrow walking in with a pair of wet eyes. “You have a nightmare, sweetie?”

“I went…to the bathroom…” she said when you noticed her holding her wrist. Jensen hopped up and walked over, picking her up gently and setting her beside you. “I fell down off the step stool. It was wet.”

“Tell me what hurts,” he said.

“My hand,” she said.

“Let daddy see,” you said. She moved her hand back and you both saw her wrist was swollen and bruised. Jensen swore under his breath and guided her hand back on it. “Okay, you hold it if it feels better that way, honey. Daddy, I think Arrow should go to urgent care.”

“Arrow, why don’t you go get your dolly and we’ll bring her with us. We might have to wait a minute,” he said. “Be careful okay? I’ll come get you in just a minute.”

“Mommy?” she asked, staring up at you.

“Mommy’s really tired-” said Jensen when you stood up.

“Uncle Jared is staying over though, daddy. Go get your dolly and mommy and daddy will get dressed,” you said. She sniffled but climbed down okay, Jensen sighing when she left the room. “She wants me there and I want to be there. I’m going.”

“Alright but you’re going to try and get some sleep in the waiting room at least, please.”

“No promises.”

________

A/N: Read Part 17 here!

#spn #supernatural #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen x reader #jensen series #rpf #rpf series #spn fanfic #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

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