#i also want to get into french music more! if you guys have any french song/artists you like pls let me know | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wonijinjin · 27 days

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being in a relationship with joshua hong: silly headcanons

author’s note: lmk if you guys want another member version of this! @welcometomyoasis had to include one headcanon dedicated to you and your headcanons about him driving his lover around haha:)

synopsis: my silly thoughts on how it would be to live and be in a relationship with joshua. (the mingyu version of this can be found here)

word count: 1.3k | genre: fluffiest fluff | pairing: joshua x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of food, getting hurt

- your biggest supporter and bully in one person; he would always encourage you to do whatever you want to purse in terms of like your passion and hobbies, but when you do something embarrassing like trip over in a big crowd he would definitely tease you for it, he just cannot miss such a good oppopportunity; i can just see him softly giggling in an adoring way while teasing you after the incident. (of course my mans is still a gentleman so he would make sure you weren’t hurt in any way)

- he is such a praiser (in every aspect and meaning possible, i will leave this to your imagination guys), he will be the proudest whenever you achieve something and would be happier for your success than you yourself; if you get your degree he would be standing in the front row cheering and screaming, same if you got a promotion at work, he would take you out for dinner to celebrate it.

- his eye smile is almost always there when he is with you; he would grin every time you speak or even move because this is how much he loves you; he has heart eyes when he is with you, and the members for sure tease him for it.

- he is the most patient person when it comes to you (although he is generally patient aswell lmao), he would explain something if he had to over a hundread times just so you got it, it doesn’t matter how much time it takes; one thing that pisses him off though is when you don’t listen to him at all and that is the reason why you are confused; shua is an attentive listener when it comes to you so he expects the same from you.

- biggest princess treatment giver (after cheol lmao) in a relationship, perfect example for this is driving you around all the time; he doesn’t care that you have your license, he will make you a passenger princess and will make you enjoy it very much.

- old money/street casual fashion enthusiast, so when you would get him clothes like those for his birthday he would be over the moon. also loves jewelry on you, would buy you so many pretty (expenive) pieces.

- he is the biggest fan of dancing in the kitchen (just like in those sweet romcoms), yall cannot convince me otherwise; we all know he likes to keep his gentleman image up, he would be the softest when he sees you come into the kitchen upon hearing the music he was blasting through the speakers. he would grab your hands and spin you around instantly, rocking the two of you to the beat and letting out the softest giggles.

- he doesn’t cook much, but would love the idea of the domestic act of cooking for/with you, i picture him as more of the baker type, like someone who prepfers preparing sweet food when doing it himself (for ex.: french toast in the soop); he would definitely be annoyingly playful and smudge flour all over your cheek and nose just so he can be the gentleman and wipe it off romantically while stealing a few kisses.

- joshua loves when you need his help with tasks that require strength, it makes him proud that he can be at your service as your big strong boyfriend; remember that episode in gose when he opened the jars for vernon? he would love to flex his muscles in front of you with that, as he knows you love his biceps.

- babies you when you get hurt, not in a ‘you cannot take care of yourself you little baby’ way, but rather in a ‘you are so adorable let me help you fix it while i gush over your cuteness’ way. iykyk but there’s that one clip of him talking in a cute surprised baby voice in that show when him and jun took care of the twin girls and one of the girls started crying because she didn’t want them to leave, now that is exactly what i mean.

- he secretly loves watching you sleep, no matter if it is in the midle of the night when he just arrived from work or when he wakes up before you in the morning. he is in love with how peaceful your expression is when you are in dreamland, and even thinks the drool and the leftover wrinkles from the pillow on you face are cute. one of his favourite moments is watching you doze off after a hard and tiring day while he is driving the two of you back home, looking over at you every time he is at a red light, he is just kinda lovesick for you.

- will splash water on you every time you two are doing your morning routines in the bathroom together; you would be doing your skincare while he was brushing his teeth and the next thing you knew was him splashing around while you tried to dodge his moves, in the end getting water all over the mirror and him having to clean it up.

- he is not easily flustered when he is with you, he is the cheekier one out of the two of you most of the time, but if you say something out of pocket he will turn so red in a split second you think that he is gonna burst; if you flirted with him in front of the members he would not have the wits to come up with a cheeky comeback since he would be very shy.

- vacations with him are the best; he takes care of everything if you are not that eager to organise the trip with him, and it works so well since you know you can trust him with handling it; he can be a planner so he doesn’t mind having to handle the technical details; i can see him buying tons of travel guide books to learn more about the place.

- speaking of vacations, he would have the greatest ideas about what to do at the location, you wouldn’t even have to tell him what you want since he is exceptionally observant and knows you like the back of his hand, bonus that he would take you on a shopping spree to buy new clothes for/on the trip (whichever you prefer, maybe both) and would make you do a little runway show for him in the new pieces while he watches in a comfortable seat.

- would definitely buy you cute beanies and hats with the little fluffballs at the top in winter and autumn, as he puts it he just wants to protect your head from getting cold by the wind and the low temperature, but in reality he just finds them so cute on you he has to buy you a new one every week (just like the bunny ones he sometimes wears in concerts).

- he would ask you one random morning if he could do your hair, and since you let him do it that time, as life goes on it would become a habit that he would brush your hair and decorate it with cute accessories almost every week, i just know he knows how to take care of his hair, so you would always go to him to help you with not just styling, but with hair products aswell. (for my curly haired gals, he would learn the techniques to style it while it is wet aswell ofc)

- would make you try new hobbies; he would be dragging you to pottery class, and even if you didn’t like it, for the sight of shua’s eyes sparkling while doing his own little mug from the wet clay you would say it was worth it for sure.

- overall he would just love you so gently and treat you with so much adoration every single day that you would definitely feel like the luckiest person on this planet to have him (even though he always says he is the luckiest one to have found you).

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ninyard · 28 days

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The monsters and their ability to pick up languages is so interesting to me so here’s some random HCs about monsters + languages that are definitely not original at all:

- Neil learned French in Europe before him and Mary found their way to French-speaking Canada. He essentially had to semi-adopt the language discrepancies while he was there, and even though his fluency is in French from France, sometimes he messes up and pronounces things weirdly or differently (and Kevin frequently makes fun of him for it)

- Kevin has some rusty Japanese that he was forced to learn growing up. He can understand it pretty well, and can somewhat speak it to a lower level, but he can’t read or write it. He’s not fluent, and probably couldn’t hold a conversation with a native speaker, but he could understand his Japanese counterparts in the Nest when he needed to.

- In turn Kevin isn’t able to order in Japanese at a restaurant, but he could explain the rules of Exy to someone fairly coherently if he had to.

- This isn’t an original thought by any means but Neil and Kevin definitely speak in French when they’re by themselves just to make sure they don’t lose it.

- They sometimes make calls to each other on the court in French, and because of this, most of the team picks up very basic calls in French. None of them can actually speak it, but Andrew picks up a little more than the rest, having spent so much time with Kevin. Again, couldn’t hold a conversation, but every now and again he recognises certain words in their conversations.

- Neil is like a walking version of those White Guy Speaks Chinese And Stuns Waitress (he can understand her?!?) polyglot youTube videos. It becomes more of a hobby for him once he’s settled and the FBI are off his back, but the foxes are constantly shocked by how many languages he can speak. He is fluent in English, French, and German of course, with some conversational Spanish, but he can pretty much have a basic interaction in most of the languages of countries he’d been in. His Dutch is the worst, because he could never quite grasp the proper pronunciation of things, but one time he speaks to a waiter in Italian and Andrew can’t believe it.

- (RIP Neil Josten, you would’ve loved duolingo)

- When he goes to the Olympics he’s like a kid in a candy store. It’s like a subconscious bingo game for him to speak to someone from every country at least once.

- Aaron loves listening to music in German. He would definitely drag Nicky to a rave if they ever found themselves in Berlin.

- Katelyn asks him whenever they have their kid if he wants to raise them bilingual, but he decides not to because he only really learned German for Nicky and his brother, and doesn’t really speak it at all after he graduates.

- Neil and Nicky study Spanish together sometimes. It helps Nicky stay close to his roots now that his immediate family is pretty much out of the picture. It means way more to him than Neil even knows.

- Another unoriginal one but Andrew and Neil definitely do learn sign language in the future. I could talk about this one forever.

- When Kevin gets frustrated, he finds it hard to speak ANY language. He messes up words in English, forgets how to say things, and occasionally is the butt of the joke when he combines a French and English word accidentally.

- Kevin watches anime when nobody is around. He thinks dubbed anime is a crime.

- Andrew thinks he’s pretty good at German until he tries to have a conversation with Erik and realises wow native speakers talk a lot faster than we do. You wouldn’t know, because even if he just understands half of a sentence, he can usually piece together what is being said 90% of the time, and he would never admit out loud that he needs Erik to slow down when he’s talking so he can understand him.

- He is, however, REALLY good at accents. He has a talent for speaking gibberish but sounding as if he’s speaking fluent French. It drives Kevin up the wall when he does it, but he also hates when he can’t understand what Kevin and Neil are saying to each other.

And Bonus:

- Jeremy is really bad at accents. He is initially frustrated by Jean and his French, but once he understands that it is Jean’s first language (that the Moriyama’s took from him), he makes an effort to try and learn. He’s just really, really bad at it. Jean cringes every time he tries, because he speaks with a heavy American accent. Jean is not pretentious about his language, but he is, at the end of the day, French. So when Jeremy says bonjour in that hideous so-Cal accent, it’s in part endearing that he’s trying, but mostly like nails on a chalkboard.

#this is so. pointless #and not original #but I just want to share :)#Kevin day #Neil josten #aftg #tfc #Andrew minyard #Nicky hemmick #jean moreau #jeremy knox #thank u for ur time

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alonetimelover · 10 months

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pairing: Harry Styles x tennis player!reader

summary: sometimes it is not meant to work out, no matter how much you and everyone else want it to. or is it?

a/n: so before wimbledon ended (before Iga lost her quarterfinal), I made this. its like fiction within fiction, ya know?

masterlist (with more tennis player!reader)

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twitter

i love harry and yn | babiesharry

guys... just a quick thought. we haven't seen any pics of yn and harry together for a whole month. there are no interactions online, and there are no acknowledgements during concerts or after matches.

do we think its the, you know, end?

3k likes 1,04k comments 3,4k replies

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lot tour 23 | aliceeeee

it is a little bit confusing. in the latest interview yn, when asked about listening to music before a match, she answered only with Taylor (before she also was saying Harry)

so that's it...

2k likes 1,44k comments 2,4k replies

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saw harry in vienna | lovingharry

harry is also not as bubbly as he made us used to see him, last night he wasn't even doing all the stomps during satellite, no funny dances or backbends...

1k likes 1k comments 3k replies

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yn is the best | lovingtennisyn

let's not speculate about them and just support our idols. yn has a very difficult tournament before herself and harry is almost done with touring. best we can do is applaud them for their work, their private lives shouldn't be our concern

4k likes 1,5k comments 5k replies

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harry my love | byebyenyc

i fear the worst... yn is in london and none interaction with Harry, his family, or friends? it is not an accident

2k likes 1,7k comments 0,9k replies

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Instagram

harryupdates

liked by ynupdates, hArrysbtch and 15 302 others

harryupdates HARRY AFTER CATCHNING A FANMADE BRACELET ON STAGE TONIGHT!

view all 2 402 comments

lanastyles IT WAS MINE!!!!!

⤷ hArrysbtch omg! what were the charms??

⤷ lanastyles i did harrys and yn's names with flowers and hearts! but i don't think he really liked it

⤷ harrysmoustache oh no, why do you think so?

⤷ lanastyles after he read what was on them, he showed it into his trousers' pocket

⤷ ynsmybestie no no no no no, the rumours are getting more true with each day

harrysfan84 i love him, man

harryswift he knows that speak now tv is coming, he dressed for the occasion!

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harrylot

liked by harryupdates, ynsmybestie and 18 301 others

harrylot "I don't think that anyone is perfect. you meet a lot of people during your lifetime, never knowing which one is gonna turn up being your person. huh? im sorry I cannot hear you. give it up for Lorine!" HARRY INTERACTING WITH A FAN TONIGHT

view all 6 301 comments

harryshoee i saw multiple videos from this interaction and the fan was soooo loud. he just didn't want to answer the question

⤷ ynshands what did they ask him?

⤷ harryshoee i believe it was "have you met your person?" and people around the fan screaming yn's name

harryupdates guys, don't assume anything based on one interaction

ynsmybestie that is concerning, but maybe he just doesn't want to be so public about it?

⤷ ynandhmyparents they were literally making out in the park in London and kissing on TV after yn won French Open. they didn't care, why would they now?

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yntennisfan

liked by ynupdates, harryshoee and 23 301 others

yntennisfan GUYS, I AM STRESSED OUT

view all 5 301 comments

yntennisfan UPDATE: SHE DEFENDED THOSE MATCH POINTS!!! WE HAVE TIE-BREAK!!!

yntennisfan UPDATE: GUYS, SHES SERVING FOR A MATCH

yntennisfan SHE FUCKING WON THIS MATCH !!!!!

ynupdates i had five heart attacks during this match

harryupdates she's so good at coming back to her good game!

ynshands AMAZING! I couldn't watch and just listened to the commentary on the radio. they were going crazy!

ynsmybestie she's unbelievable! sooo good

hArrysbtch i love tennis

harrysmoustache she's playing so differently to what she made us used to see

⤷ ynsmybestie i fear its because of that possible breakup

⤷ harrysfan83 harry didn't upload anything about the match like he used to, and he knows how grass is yn's the least favourite surface to play on

⤷ ynupdates can you guys just be happy about her win and stop bringing her relationship back up? thank you.

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enews

liked by tennisfan82 and 2 301 492 others

enews No. 1s in the tennis World - YN YSN and Carlos Alcaraz were spotted enjoying each other companies after YN's winning match in Wimbledon. YN has dated Harry Styles for almost three years before they broke up just a month ago. Moving on so quickly? More pictures in our link in bio.

view all 24 201 comments

ynupdates they are friends! can't they have a meal together?

ynsmybestie how i love you people ruining friendships... pathetic

ynshands celebrating her win can't only mean dating, you know?

harrysmoustache sooo, they really broke up? 💔

⤷ hArrysbtch nothing is confirmed, let's just wait

⤷ hArrysbtch yes, I am delusional

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ynupdates

liked by ynsmybestie, harrysmoustache and 34 402 others

ynupdates YN VIA HER IG STORY...

view all 7 402 comments

ynsmybestie nonononononono not them, please god no

ynshands jesus, even my breakup didn't hurt me as much as this one

hArrysbtch im a child of this divorce

harryupdates let's give them space to be

harryshoee no, my parents. please let it not be true. please.

ynswiftie guys, maybe she's just celebrating a Spek Now TV release?

⤷ ynsmybestie couldn't she do it with enchanted???

ynandcarlos well, Carlos has a tan skin too

⤷ ynshands oh shut up, respectfully

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, ynupdates and 65 407 others

harryupdates I MET HARRY IN LONDON JUST NOW. do you think he's attending wembley final today?

view all 8 402 comments

ynupdates you finally met him? congratulations darling!

ynupdates and I think he's attending. why would he come back from spain to london?

hArrysbtch he better attends and stop all those ridiculous rumours (yes, i am delusional)

harrysmoustache he looks so good, he can't be single (yes, i am delusional)

harryshoee yn crocheted that hat, i know it (yes, iam delusional)

⤷ ynupdates well, yn does know how to crochet so it is possible

harrysfan63 i also met him today!!!

⤷ harryupdates did you ask him about Wimbledon?

⤷ harrysfan63 yes! he just said "what's that?" with a smirk

⤷ harrysbtch this fucker, he's playing us

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harryupdates

liked by ynupdates, ynsmybestie and 82 230 others

harryupdates HARRY VIA HIS IG STORY. HE DIDN'T DELETE IT AFTER FIVE MINUTES. EVEN AFTER THIRTY.

view all 9 302 comments

ynupdates the world is healing

hArrysbtch thank you, harry. thank you, my man. I can still sing to london boy and think about you both

harrysmoustache so, they still together?

ynsmybestie thank fucking God!!!!!!! my parents are still together!

harryshoee my bitches are back!!!

ynandhmyparents i can still shamelessly use my username hehheh

user492 it would be hilarious later getting to know that they are, in fact, not back together

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yntennisfan

liked by ynupdates, harrysmoustache and 90 201 others

yntennisfan GUYSSSSSSS WTF WTF WTF. THIS IS YN'S REACTION TO PEOPLE CHEERING AFTER SHE ADMITTED SHE IS ENGAGED!!!!

view all 11 301 comments

yntennisfan it basically went like this: after winning the Wimbledon final yn was giving an interview. during it one of the fans screamed "MARRY ME, YN" and after a little laugh that the audience had yn responded with "I'M ALREADY ENGAGED, ACTUALLY"

yntennisfan the way people screamed!!!!! and then they showed smirking harry!!! does anyone have a picture??

ynupdates she is engaged... she won Wimbledon... oh god

harryupdates engaged... woah

hArrysbtch THE WORLD HEALED

harrysmoustache harry is engaged, do you hear it people?

ynsmybestie love is real, yn won her least comfortable tournament, god is a woman. yes.

harryshoee couldn't imagine a better partner for harry. she is so sweet and cute. they're perfect.

ynshands eat shit you haters that believed in every little rumour

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harrystyles

liked by yourinstagram, harryupdates and 17 402 939 others

harrystyles good morning, wimbledon champion fiancée

view all 203 301 comments

yourinstagram hiiii, fiancé

harryupdates how do I react when Harry is posting his partner on main????

ynupdates THEE CHAMPION

hArrysbtch PARENTS

⤷ yourinstagram harrystyles first child is here

⤷ harrystyles that's... fast

⤷ hArrysbtch guys, WTHFKSJEBJDE

annetwist beautiful, beautiful girl ❤️

ynsmybestie still processing the win and engagement and you're killing me with this post, harry. thank you.

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yourinstagram

liked by harrystyles, ynupdates, taylorswift, hArrysbtch and 16 930 493 others

yourinstagram my waves meet your shore, ever and evermore

view all 492 201 comments

harrystyles well, it was enchanting to meet you

ynupdates i can't get used to them using taylor's lyrics to express their love for each other

taylorswift Congratulations on the Wimbledon win and your engagement! You are welcome at any of the concerts. Just text me the date you're available!

comment liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and 132 302 others

harryupdates congratulations!!!!

hArrysbtch mum, dad

#harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles instagram #harry styles fake ig #harry styles #tennis player!reader

763 notes · View notes

lunatic-pudge · 3 months

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TF2 Mercs Green Flags (except it's very biased)

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I love my boys. Yes, this is biased and questionable. But this is meant to be cute and fun.

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Scout:

-Silly little goober, great person to be around when you need cheering up

-Golden retreiver boyfriend

-Can easily make you laugh without even trying

-Artsy fartsy

Pyro

-Cutie patootie who makes the cutest drawings of you two together

-Owns an Easy Bake Oven

-Master at baking, never-ending supply of sweets for you to indulge in

-Your biggest supporter. Would literally cheer for you if you rob a bank

Soldier

-Also your biggest supporter, will demand that other adore you as well

-Will let you own any pet you want no matter what the animal is

-Speeches of why you're the best thing to ever exist and how America is blessed to have such a beauty like you live there

-Will give you anything and everything you could ever want, like human ears. Definitely a good person to be if you like collecting weird stuff

Demo

-Precious baby boy is a major cuddle bug

-Def knows how to knit/crochet, will make you whatever you want

-Baby man likes learning about folklore/mythology

-He's essentially a big walking teddy bear. Perfect for cuddles, especially on a cold or rainy day

Heavy

-GIANT WALKING TEDDY BEAR

-Protective baby boy, big scary dog privleges

-Bookworm, can recommend a good book if you don't know what to read

-Perfect person to lay around and cuddle with, he can smother me any day. Dates at home are TOP TIER

Engie

-THE BEST PERSON TO GO TO WHEN YOU'RE HAVING AN OFF DAY HANDS DOWN

-Smart boy, can make you stuff that helps with day to day activities which is helpful if you can't do certain things to having a disability or something

-Dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, can't get enough of it

-Voice of an angel, will sing for you if you'd like. Can def sing you to sleep

Medic

-NERD, he's an adorable nerd! Let him ramble about his hyperfixations!

-Def a good pet owner, would kill someone if they don't take proper care of their pets

-Would make sure you take care of yourself, he's kinda like a dad that cares

-He's such a maniac. I can see him just secretly being up to no good all the time. And he's also very girlypop

-Putting an extra for him cause I can: Medic boobs. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

Sniper

-Sweet, precious baby boy who can do no wrong. He strikes me as someone who listens to EVERYTHING when it comes to music. He ain't genrephobic

-Also a collector of weird things. Likes making bone jewlery. Bone boy

-I just love the concept of him being feral? This is probably the weirdest thing on the list. Like there's the golden retreiver boyfriend (Scout), and then there's the feral boyfriend (Sniper). Literally acts like a cat, hiding away from people, hissing when people that aren't you tries to touch him, will demand attention/affection from you, ect. I need to make a more detailed idea of a feral boyfriend so work with me plz

-He would absolutely let you wear his clothes, thinking about how adorable you look. He'd do the same with your clothes if they're big enough for his lanky body. You two swap jackets in the winter time so you guys always have a piece of each other when you two are busy and aren't able to see each other

Spy

-I know a running joke is that Spy is a smelly French asshole, but I really do think that he wears some of the nicest smelling cologne out there. Expensive af colonge, but damn, it's addicting

-Smarty pants. Not just anyone can be a spy, it takes quite a bit of intellect for it. And not to mentions he knows multiple languages? Love it, even if I hate the French language with a burning passion

-Him having a good taste in fashion? He's gotta know what he's doing by wearing suits all the time. Not only does he look fresh af, but people always look so good in a suit, especially when it fits them. But please also picture him dressed in a more romantic goth aesthetic plz, okay I'll stop now

-Is good at paying attention to even the littlest of details about his partners. Even if you're trying to be cryptic or subtle about things, he'll always find out. He's def a protective type too

329 notes · View notes

pichongames · 3 months

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It's time for a new DEV UPDATE! [February 2024]

Let's talk about the upcoming Nintendo Switch port, localization, plushies, and new content coming soon?

It's time for a new development update, we've been working on a lot of stuff behind the scenes so let's talk about some of it, shall we?

The Bunny Graveyard is coming to Nintendo Switch!

If you didn't know already, The Bunny Graveyard is on its way to Nintendo Switch. But this port will not just be any normal port, the game will receive some enhancements and changes both visually and gameplay-wise. Including motion-controls, HD vibration and more!

But do not worry PC users, even though some gameplay features will be exclusive to Switch, any content updates, improvements and future chapters will be released at the same time on all platforms.

More languages!

The Bunny Graveyard: Chapter 1 is currently being translated to more languages, some of these are:

Brazilian Portuguese

French

Russian

Japanese

Simplified Chinese

Korean

...and more!

Boxers Plushie!

You probably heard of this already, but yes! Boxers got himself his very own plushie, which is still available at the time of this writing, however, this is a limited edition plushie so make sure to grab one before they're gone. As of right now, there's still 8 days left, so think about it! You guys absolutely CRUSHED that funding goal by the way, 450 sold so far!

We're definitely making another one... hehe.

This is also our first piece of merchandise and we're open to do more merch stuff in the future! But for now we'll only be choosing things that don't slow us down during development. So, if you got any requests for merch, let us know and we'll look into it!

NEW free content is coming this year...

We are working on a new secret project for the game, it will be released as a free content update at the same time as the Nintendo Switch release. It's a small thing that we wanted to make for a while now, but never got the chance to do due to time constraints. Think of it as the next "4-1-1992" for now.

We'll be releasing a separate trailer for this soon, so stay tuned!

So... how's Chapter 2?

Finally, let's have a quick talk about Chapter 2.

We are still not ready to fully reveal Chapter 2, buuuut we can tell you a little bit about it. It is the most ambitious project we have ever done, we expect it to be about the same length as Chapter 1, but despite the length, this chapter has proven to be quite a challenge to develop... but you know us, we love ourselves a challenge!

The story has been fully written, the gameplay has been finalized, but there's still quite a lot of programming to go, and don't get me started on all the music and animations left. Oh, did I also mention that this chapter will be releasing at the same time on Nintendo Switch and PC? And that it will also release in multiple languages? And that I'm still working on this game mostly by myself?

Yeah, things are not the same as they were back when I was making Chapter 1, The Bunny Graveyard is no longer just a silly lil' indie game, but that's exactly what makes it fun. I seriously can't wait to show you guys what we've been working on, this chapter is going to blow you away. Expect a trailer sometime this year.

You can add Chapter 2 to your Steam wishlist now!

Final Thoughts!

2024 is looking like an awesome year for this game, I'm hoping that this year we can get more people to know about this game. I'm extremely thankful for all of the support that we've been getting lately, it's crazy that I can now FINALLY focus on this game full-time, something that I've been trying to do for a long time now. I'm still processing the fact that this game is coming to the Switch, but it really is! Truly a dream come true. If you got any questions, ask in the comments and I'll try to answer as many as I can! And as always, thank you all!

#the bunny graveyard #pixel art #devlog #indie games #indiedev #game dev #bunny graveyard

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quixoticall · 6 months

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This Could Get Ugly 6. Views from the Outside

Summary: It's 1983 and The Downsides need another lead singer and you just happen to need a band--it's a perfect match. The only issue? You have to pretend to be in a relationship with your bandmate, Steve Harrington, but you can't help but be drawn to the band's broody guitar player.

pairing: s.h. x fem!reader, e.m. x fem!reader, j.b. x n.w.,

warnings: Mention of French people, angst, fake relationships,

A/N: Hello! Once again, thank you to everyone who interacted with this in any way! I love to hear feedback and see that you're enjoying the work! Another thing: My goal with this story is that it's told over the span of 4 individual works, with "This Could Get Ugly" being the first one. What this means is that there's going to be a LOT of juicy drama to enjoy but I will be taking my time getting to it. It's been super important to me that I tell the story right and at my own pace so while it may seem like the romance is tilting to one guy over another--just know, that that's all part of the plan! My pet peeve when reading love triangle type of stuff is when you can immediately tell which love interest is the end game so my goal for this is to be as even as possible, offering romance for both Steve and Eddie (In my mind, this is less of a love triangle and more of a love different people at different points in time type of thing). Anyway, what a long note! Please enjoy the chapter!

wc: 4.6k

MASTERLIST🎸

Previous Chapter 🎹

Subrosa Article

***

JONATHAN: I never wanted to be famous, I just wanted to play music and make enough money to support my family. I could do all of that and more with The Downsides.

I felt like the luckiest guy in the world then. We were finally starting to see some stability as a band and even though things weren’t exactly as we expected, things were good. I mean we were making music we loved with people we liked—back when we all still liked each other.

***

October 1983—Los Angeles, California

As the studio had predicted, the band’s single was a total hit, as were you and Steve in the press. The gamble Starcourt was starting to pay off.

Everyone was more relieved than happy about that news.

What followed was a few grueling weeks of rerecording the band’s nearly completed album while also strategically traipsing arm-in-arm with Steve around every romantic spot in Hollywood trying to bait the paparazzi.

Things had finally slowed down a bit since the album was in post-production, but Starcourt still had you on a tight schedule. You had transitioned into rehearsing for the band’s upcoming tour. That’s how certain Startcourt was that the Downsides were going to be a success—you were rehearsing for a tour that hadn’t even been announced yet for an album that hadn’t even been released.

You try not to think about what it would mean if the band didn’t meet the label’s expectations. Instead, you focus on figuring out how to adapt to the band you’re now a part of.

The obvious lack of familiarity between all of you was not as pronounced when you were re-recording in the studio, now that you’re all rehearsing together, it is impossible to ignore. The original members of the band share a bond that keeps them incredibly in sync, oftentimes leaving you and Eddie struggling both on and off the stage. You’ve been working to adapt though, and you’ve made progress, sometimes you’re even close to feeling like the band has accepted you as one of their own. But then something will happen that will leave you feeling like an outsider once more.

***

The last thing a hungover you needs to see at seven in the morning is a Subrosa article questioning your moral character and calling you a man-eater. The universe—in the form of one Nancy Wheeler—has a different idea.

“Have you seen this?” the keyboardist asks, indignation coloring her tone, as she slings the offending publication across your lap.

You hadn’t seen it, in fact, but one look at the grainy picture of you and Steve and you can assume what the article says.

You sigh tiredly in response, “Honestly Nancy, you shouldn’t pay attention to this shit. I don’t know why you let it bother you so much.”

“It’s just so unfair that they’re singing Steve’s praises and are still dragging you through the mud, even though you’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Exactly, there’s no winning with them, not for me. So why don’t we just say fuck them and do whatever we want?” You find it in yourself to waggle your eyebrows playfully at her earning a giggle from the otherwise serious girl.

You catch Eddie watching your exchange from across the large warehouse that is serving as the band’s rehearsal space with a curious amount of interest.

The two of you have barely spoken since your row outside of Starcourt. It’s not like you’re missing out on much though, since Eddie barely interacts with the band beyond rehearsal which makes his apparent engagement with your conversation unusual. Eddie, realizing he’s been caught staring, opens his mouth to say something but is quickly interrupted by a very late Steve and Robin.

“Hey, have you seen the latest issue of Subrosa?” Steve asks, harried and out of breath.

You try not to think about the fact that this is the third time this week that the two of them have shown up together and late.

“Yes, we were just talking about it, which you would’ve known if the two of you were on time for once,” Nancy jabs back with no real heat, just the annoyance of an older sister chastising her siblings.

“Hey, don’t blame me, Robin wanted to—” he stops short as soon as his eyes land on you and coughs awkwardly.

“I wanted to stop by the post office,” Robin rushes to say. “It’s Bastille Day and I needed to send a card to my French pen pal, Celine in honor of the occasion.”

“Isn’t Bastille Day in July?” You ask Robin.

She flushes scarlet. “Right, exactly, that’s why this is so important, my card was already like three months late. You know how French people are about punctuality.”

She then exchanges a meaningful glance with Steve and Nancy who seem to be having their own sort of conversation consisting solely of glances and eyebrow movement.

“Fine, whatever,” Nancy exhales after a few terse moments of silent communication, “let’s just start please.”

She stands and the others follow suit. You, however, remain sat, trying to figure out what exactly had just happened.

Steve, sensing you hadn’t moved, turns to throw you an apologetic look over his shoulder before beaconing gently with a nod of his head. You sigh but join him, nonetheless.

This happens a lot.

***

JONATHAN: When the whole staged relationship thing first started, I don’t think any of us had any idea what that meant. I mean, sure, it started out as the gimmick that got us through the door but it soon became something bigger than that. Their relationship was synonymous with the band and it's success and I'm sure that resulted in a lot of pressure.

I think for the two of them, though, the most difficult part was trying to keep things professional, especially when other people began to get involved.

***

None of the personal dynamics mattered when you were all playing together.

What you loved most about your bandmates was that they cared about the music just as much as you did. That had become clear from the very first rehearsal and even now, nearly a month in, you’re still in awe watching them all perform alongside you.

Prim, soft-spoken Nancy turned into a wild thing on the keyboard, her whole body moving with the music, fingers flying over the keys like it was nothing. Ever the perfectionist, she would never miss a note, and on the off chance that she did, curse words you had never heard before streamed out of her mouth, causing your eyes to go wide every time.

Jonathan, too, became something else: full of bravado and fire, hair swinging wildly and even jumping around on stage. His playing had a smoothness to it, he knew when to show restraint and let someone else shine and when to bring it himself.

Argyle and Robin were the biggest transformations, though. Gone was goofy and easy-going Argyle the person and all that was left behind was the laser-focused drummer, who seemed to move on instinct to create a strong musical foundation for the rest of you. Robin, who normally was a bit erratic and all over the place, became the self-assured, quick-thinking driving force behind the band. It was like she knew exactly how the song needed to sound and what each person needed to bring to get there. She was the first to let anyone know there was something amiss and no one took it the wrong way because she was rarely wrong.

Steve and Eddie were exactly what you had expected, however, what you did not expect was how alike they would be. They both moved gracefully and with careless precision. Showmen in equal measures.

Once you had familiarized yourself with your bandmates, figuring out how you fit into the band’s onstage dynamic was easy.

Off-stage was a whole different story.

***

JONATHAN: I mean, yeah, I think it was natural that there was a bit of a divide in those early days between the ‘original’ band and our two new members. It’s not for lack of trying though, it’s just, well the five of us lived in a house together and had known each other for years, it was probably kinda intimidating trying to jump into that dynamic. I also got the feeling that the other two weren’t really used to having friends. They both seemed to have their guards up in their own way.

With her you could tell she was holding back, almost like she was afraid of doing the wrong thing and well, with Eddie… you know how he is.

I think it was that feeling of sort of being on the outside that first drew them together, honestly.

***

Your eyes scan over the small craft services area that makes up part of your rehearsal space. Most of the band starts at one table, chatting amiably over lunch. Before you can even take a step in their direction, though, your eyes zero in on Steve and Robin, whose heads are bent, close together, whispering to one another intimately and you falter.

As much as you enjoyed Robin and Steve individually, watching them interact with one another often stoked an aching loneliness in you that you struggled to put out and the more time you spent with them only made it worse. After six weeks, you were worn thin.

Deciding that you’d rather not foster any unearned feelings, you turn to the only other table where Eddie is sitting alone bent over a thick paperback.

Trying to play it as cool as you can, you reach inside your bag to pull out your own book, and casually sit down across from the long-haired boy.

He stares you down. You raise an eyebrow in response.

“Didn’t know you could read,” he says casually.

“Funny, I was just about to say the same thing about you,” you shoot back with no real bite.

He chuckles to himself, seemingly impressed before gesturing to your book.

“Didn’t peg you for a Baldwin type either,” Eddie says, eyes scanning the cover of your book.

You shrug, noncommittally, “I found a copy Beal Street sitting with a bunch of junk on my neighbor’s curb and I’ve been a fan since.”

He barks out a laugh so loud it catches everyone’s attention.

Conversation halts and you feel your bandmates’ curious gazes fall on you all at once.

“Forgive me, princess, but I have a hard time imagining you digging through other people's trash for books from what I know of you.”

“And what do you know about me, Eddie? I mean, other than the stuff Subrosa prints.”

His face falls in response.

The two of you spend the rest of your lunch in silence, pretending not to notice the way everyone else is staring.

***

JONATHAN: They ate lunch together every day after that, barely talking, reading their books. I don’t think they were friends or anything, but I did see them exchange books a few times.

It did stress Nancy out, I think, the divide. It made her think we weren’t doing enough to be “welcoming” to them. Argyle and I didn’t really care, and Robin was dealing with her on shit at the time.

***

ROBIN : Yeah, I was seeing this girl, and I was trying to keep it under wraps from well… everyone actually. Steve was a really great friend though; he would always give me rides to and from her place when I needed them.

***

JONATHAN: ...a nd Steve liked to pretend that he didn’t care but he definitely did.

ROBIN: Of course, Steve cared, are you kidding?

NANCY: We could tell it bothered him.

STEVE : Did I care that she was eating lunch with Munson and kept avoiding me outside of rehearsal? No! Of course not.

***

November 1983, Los Angeles, California

The Downsides’ debut album was released on November 6, 1983, to commercial and critical success.

People immediately took to the upbeat synth sound paired with the introspective and clever lyrics. On top of that, you and Steve were, quite literally the talk of the town.

There were entire articles in gossip magazines dedicated to parsing out details of your relationship from the song lyrics on the album and coming up with theories about what the lyrics were about.

And all of that just from a few pictures of you two holding hands. Starcourt was ecstatic, they had bottled magic.

As much as everyone wanted to celebrate, you weren’t out of the woods yet, there were still the press junkets.

A growing list of TV and radio appearances that the band was required to be at plagued Hopper who was tasked with making sure you were all present and willing at these appearances. And of course, that you didn’t make fools of yourselves or Starcourt.

The label had taken it upon itself to send everyone PR briefings—essentially a long list of things no one should say under any circumstances during interviews.

Normally, you would think a list like this was overkill but knowing some of your bandmates, it was definitely needed.

All the eyes (and the pressure) would be on you and Steve, though, everyone knew that. You two were the ‘It Couple’ everyone wanted to hear from, and you weren’t quite sure what you were going to say.

The pap photos were easy: it was just walking around or sometimes getting lunch, holding hands, and looking like you were enjoying each other’s company. Something that wasn’t difficult since conversation flowed easily between the two of you. At first, you would talk music—Steve was incredibly dedicated and knowledgeable, you quickly found out—but eventually, the two of you had branched into other topics. You learned about Steve’s life growing up in Indiana, about all his likes and dislikes, and everything about the band. He managed to pull the same information from you and you let him.

Even the physical stuff was easy, with time. In the beginning, it was an experiment of firsts. While you were pretty well-versed in the practice of feigned affection, you were used to the guy always making the first (fake) move. Most of the guys you had been "set up" with were the "act first, ask permission later" type. Steve was polite and considerate to a fault, and it took you two full dates to convince him that he didn't have to ask before holding your hand and an entire week more to work up to the kiss on the cheek. After those conversations though, touching Steve, in one way or another, had become second nature.

So much so, in fact, that it had begun to bleed into your everyday lives. It was not unusual during the time of your re-recording, to be at the studio and have Steve come up from behind you to rest his hand in the gentle dip of your waist only for you to lean back as you inhaled that scent that was uniquely him: smokey sandalwood and hair pomade.

Right around the time rehearsal started you realized that perhaps the two of you were becoming too comfortable with that type of affection, especially given how much time he spent with Robin, and you had begun to keep a subtle distance between the two of you whenever you weren’t on stage.

Steve while intelligent in his own right, had never struck you as the kind of person to pick up on subtleties, so when he brings up this distance you realize that either you severely underestimated his abilities, or you were not as subtle as you thought you’d been.

It’s a few days before the first stop of the Press Tour—An early morning slot with Wake Up, USA! —that has the two of you sitting on your couch when he brings it up. You had invited Steve over to practice answering any possible questions you may have to field together and make sure you’re on the same page.

As it turns out though, outside of music, Steve is not much for rehearsing.

“Can’t we just wing it?” Steve asks as he lies sprawled on your couch.

You huff in response, “No, we can’t just wing it. This is a big deal! This is our first time out as a couple, and we have to be believable.”

Steve scoffs at this and you raise an annoyed eyebrow in response.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he shrugs in response, “it’s just hard to act like a couple when you’ve been avoiding me for, like, the past month.”

He doesn’t sound accusatory or angry when he says this, just matter-of-fact.

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” you sputter out, weakly.

It’s his turn to raise an incredulous eyebrow at you.

“Really? Could’ve fooled me. Last time I checked you and Eddie weren’t the best of friends, but you’d rather eat lunch with him than the rest of us. You know, if you didn’t like us, you didn’t have to agree to be in the band, we would’ve understood,” he deflates as he says this last sentence and it crumples your heart just a bit.

“I like you guys,” you say quietly, nudging his leg with your knee as you do.

“Then, is it me?” He asks, voice small and eyes low.

“No, no, it’s not you, Steve,” you rush to say.

“It’s just, I’ve never really been any good at this,” you mumble, shy under his gaze.

“Good at what?” He urges gently.

“At being friends with people.”

You continue, words clunky and difficult to get out, “At being friends with someone I’m also pretending to date.

“I mean, with the rest of the guys Starcourt set me up with, I only had to tolerate them for a few weeks, at most. With us, well who knows right? Plus, I actually like you,” you wince at this uncharacteristic display of vulnerability from yourself, “I like all of you and I don’t want to ruffle any feathers or cross any boundaries and hurt anyone’s feelings.”

He chuckles at this, “Trust me, you won’t hurt my feelings by spending time with me.”

You shake your head, “It’s not you I’m worried about, Steve. There are other people.”

Steve’s brow furrows in confusion, “I’m not following.”

You are not sure what to say, now. You don’t want to call Steve and Robin out, it’s clear that they’ve been trying to keep what they have going on a secret, and you don’t want to call attention to that. You’re also afraid that if you mention him and Robin, you’ll eventually have to explain how when you see them together, your chest gets painfully tight. Pivot, you demand of yourself.

“What I mean to say is, it’s easier for me to keep everything professional when I have a little more space because I’m not really used to this friend thing. I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t like you or the band. I like you all a lot, actually and I guess I’m just worried about messing that up.”

You can feel yourself retract into yourself the more you speak and by the end, your knees are tucked under your chin. You can’t bring yourself to meet Steve’s gaze.

He doesn’t respond right away, but you feel the warmth of his palm spread over the expanse of your back.

“Listen, I think… if this is gonna work, we have to be on each other’s team and part of that is talking to one another, right? And letting each other know when we're having a hard time. I want to be on your team, will you let me?” His voice swells as he asks, and you are so aware of his warmth next to you.

“Yeah,” you nod, finally meeting his eyes, “ I want to be on your team too if you’ll let me?”

He nods enthusiastically, smiling so brightly you question if the sun has ever been as bright.

“Great, now can we please practice some of these questions?” You demand, playfully.

“Or, or, and hear me out, we could go get burgers," he offers back.

You end up doing both.

***

November 13, 1983, Sunset Studios, Los Angeles, California

Call time for Wake Up, USA! was insanely early and you don’t think you’ve ever seen an angrier Hopper than one that has to be dealing with Eddie Munson at 5 AM. Eddie is decidedly, not a morning person.

“Well, aren’t you a ray of sunshine today?” You deadpan to the disgruntled guitarist from your makeup chair next to his. You were not fairing much better: not only were you running on little sleep, but you were also wound tightly with nerves about your first live interview as a band and as a couple.

“Can it, Your Majesty, or we might have a case of regicide on our hands,” he warns with no real heat behind his words.

“Isn’t it a bit too early to be throwing big words like that around, Munson?” Steve asks, from his spot on your other side.

“Don’t even know what that means,” he mutters, mostly to you.

“It means the murder of a king or queen,” you respond automatically.

“Doesn’t have to be just one, either. You could always kill more than one monarch at a time,” Eddie raises his eyebrows at Steve as he says this, making his implications very obvious.

“Wow, look at us,” Steve exclaims, grinning, “already making veiled threats at each other. We’ve finally made it, honey.”

He says this last part exclusively to you punctuating it by reaching for your hand and giving it a squeeze and you laugh.

The lightness of the exchange distracts you from your nerves for a moment. And from the way Eddie’s eyes linger on your hand interlaced with Steve’s.

Your brief reprieve is interrupted by the soft thud of a heavy object landing in your lap.

“What’s this?” You hold up a beat-up paperback to the culprit.

Eddie shrugs, “The Two Towers, Dustin finally got it back to me, took his sweet time too, that little asshole.”

You nod. He had lent you the first Lord of the Rings book weeks ago, while you were still in rehearsal after you had shown up bookless one day and you had devoured the book. You had been needling him for the second one since, but he had lent it to the audio engineer’s son, a kid named Dustin who idolized him and Steve in equal measure.

“Thanks,” you say, surprise coloring your voice, thumbing through the pages, eyes hungrily scanning the pages.

***

EDDIE: I dunno, she seemed nervous. I thought if she had something to distract her, it might’ve helped.

***

You get through the first chapter of your new book before they pull you into wardrobe.

They outfit you in a light blue dress, with exaggerated sleeves and a belt around your middle to compliment Steve’s dark blue blazer and stripped t-shirt combo.

You feel your nerves mounting as you are helped into your heels and given your mic pack. Suddenly, everything that is riding on this is suffocating you from all ends—a visceral crushing pain that you can’t shake.

Steve appears at your side and the band had been escorted onto the soundstage your hand has been tightly wrapped around his like a vice the entire time.

“Can you, uh, loosen your grip a bit, please,” Steve asks, finally.

“Right, sorry,” you say, letting go of his hand completely and instead focusing your nervous energy on straightening his lapels.

After the third time you’ve readjusted his collar, Steve grabs both of your hands in his, and pulls you close, giving you no choice but to focus on his face.

“Hey,” he says in a hushed tone, just for you, “you don’t need to worry, okay? We’ve got this. I’m on your team, remember?”

You swallow thickly, and nod, before adding, “And I’m on yours, Harrington.”

“That’s my girl,” he says sealing the exchange with a kiss on the cheek.

***

JONATHAN: That first interview, on Wake Up, USA! was what really sold them. I mean, they couldn’t keep their eyes off of each other the entire time.

And then, when one of the hosts asked them how they met, Steve told this story about seeing her for the first time from across the restaurant during our first lunch together and how he was sure he had made a total fool of himself because he was so nervous to be around someone so beautiful, of course, Steve Harrington would say something like that. The audience swooned. Hell, I swooned a little bit.

And then they asked her about all the guys from her past, which was totally fucked up by the way, but she handled it great. She said she was grateful for all the mistakes she had made in the past because they had led her to The Downsides and to Steve.

Between that interview and our live performance, the audience was hooked.

***

“Good job, you two,” Hopper says gruffly, patting you and Steve on the shoulder as you're ushered off stage after your performance.

“Thanks,” you squeak out, all the tension slowly deflating from your body after hearing Hopper’s approval.

It was done, your first live appearance complete, and it hadn’t been a total train wreck.

Actually, thinking back, it had been pretty good. There was a good variety of questions; everyone had gotten to speak; and when it came to you and Steve, well, it seemed believable at least. And the band managed to preform the new single without a hitch, all of the kinks that had plagued you during the last few weeks of rehearsals ironed out.

Maybe you could pull this off after all.

***

By the time the band had wrapped up the week-long press junket, you were exhausted.

What had taken more of a toll than the hours of sitting in makeup chairs, too-tight shoes and repetitive questions was having to pretend with Steve.

You realize now that your problem was never the risk of not being convincing enough, but instead of being too convincing.

You had spent the entire week so physically attached to Steve, that it was beginning to feel like you were one single being. Like he was an appendage you couldn’t move without.

And every kiss on the cheek, every look, every squeeze of your hand, felt like a jumpstart to your heart.

Then there were actual interview parts. Steve was good with the press. He would draw audiences and hosts alike, in as easy as if he was winding up a thread. There was never a question that would catch him off guard and he always came off boyish and genuine in his responses. Like the time he was asked what his favorite thing about you was and he told the story of you showing up at the recording studio with cookies and having the guts to change Eddie’s lyrics in the same afternoon.

You knew better than to ask if he meant it.

The next day, Hopper called to let you know that your album was breaking all sorts of records, and the label was incredibly pleased. So much so that they were thinking of increasing the tour dates and they were even starting to plan for future projects—projects that they wanted you to write.

The news didn’t make you feel light with joy like you had once hoped it would, instead, it made you feel heavy like a sinking stone.

A few weeks later, when the band went their separate ways for the Christmas break, you all knew something big was coming, you just had no way of knowing what.

***

JONATHAN: Right after New Year, Hopper pulls the band into a meeting in his office. First thing he told us was that they were announcing a tour with twice as many dates as they had originally planned for, demand was that high. Then he said, “From this point on, everything is going to move really quickly, there’s no getting off the ride now.”

NEXT CHAPTER 🥁

Taglist: @rexorangecouny , @persophonekarter

#steve harrington x reader #eddie munson x reader #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #steve harrington #stranger things x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x you #stranger things imagine #jonathan byers

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sweetcreatxr · 1 year

Text

♥︎ Always been you ♥︎

✰ Part 1. If the world was ending ✰

Chris Evans X singer!male reader (29)

⚠︎ Warning : angst, sebastian being the best big brother (???), Feels talk, post break up, Drunk Chris and sad Y/n ( these are not really Warnings but we never know !)

A/N : ♡︎ ok so first of, this is my second time writing in English because I'm French so pls if there are any spelling errors don't insult me or anything else pls ! I'll try to do my best ! シ︎

Part 2 !

______

Pov y/n third person

Y/n was sitting, arms crossed and cross-legged on the edge of the stage where he was going to perform in less than three hours.

His fingers rapidly tapping on his phone and his furrowed brow showed his anxiety and inability to stay calm.

Sebastian, who had promised to be present and who was sitting in the same place as his brother, noticed that he was not well and came to hug him.

"Shuuuu it will be fine y/n, I'm sure he's mad at himself as we speak, he's just an idiot but an idiot madly in love with you."

Y/n was crying in his big brother's arms, his emotions having taken over everything else.

He had been in a relationship with the one and only Chris Evans who happened to be one of his brother's best friends.

They had met during the filming of the first Captain America in June 2010 and the two men had quickly created a strong bond despite their age differences.

It wasn't until 2014 that their relationship became official worldwide, making Chris the happiest man in the world by his side.

"You guys are meant to be together, this breakup is only a painful passage. I'm sure of it! You're like mussels and fries, one will be never be without the other!"

Y/n chuckled lightly, amused by the sort of joke his brother had tried to pull off to cheer him up. But the breakup with Chris came back to him just as quickly and he started crying again but this time he got up and stood in front of Sebastian who was looking at him with a sad smile.

" Seb Chris has been ignoring my messages for more than 5 months, my calls yet he sees them but he doesn't do anything about it! He acts as if he and I never existed when we've been together for more than 8 years! 8 fucking years!"

He stopped to catch his breath and immediately continued

"We had plans! We wanted to build a family, get married too! But damn it I can't take it anymore, I'm tired! We left each other for bullshit , just because of a fucking misunderstanding seb, a misunderstanding...."

He finished his sentence while trying himself on the ground and folding his knees on his chest.

"I love him so much if you knew, I could die for this man and he doesn't give a damn about it"

" what are you saying y/n, he's also at his worst, he loves you mad too, you are everything to him!"

Y/n took his phone and put it in brother's face before returning to his initial position.

It was Chris' Instagram where you could see that he was in a nightclub surrounded by several girls and guys who danced with him and some who touched him.

" It doesn't look like he's at his lowest, he seems to have endless fun, it's like he was just waiting for this..."

There was jealousy in his voice as well as sadness, a lot of sadness. How could Chris forget 8 years of a relationship in just 5 months?

" I'm going to go talk to him, okay?! I'm gonna ring him and bring him back to you, I'm gonna go now and wave to me when the show starts, I don't want to miss your entrance!"

Sebastian walked towards the exit of the performance hall leaving a tired, sad and angry y/n.

POV Chris third person

Chris was currently sitting on the edge of the sidewalk which was loosening on an establishment in which music could be heard at miles, cigarette in hand, heavy heart and breathless.

He only smoked on rare occasions, breaking up with the person he considered and considers the love of his life, being an excellent one according to Chris.

He had no idea how he ended up there, unhappy and alone when he could have been in the arms of his lover. His own brain refused to function properly, only remnants of their argument came back to him.

"Are you kidding me or what?"

"You're so naive y/n"

"Chris stop it, I fucking love you! You have nothing to fear!"

"Liar! Don't pretend you didn't notice!"

"Chris I don't know in what language I have to tell you again but NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN HIM AND ME! He's just a friend!!"

While Y/n was climbing the stairs to take refuge in their shared room, Chris spoke again and it is exactly THESE words that he will regret for the rest of his life.

"That's it ! Run away! That's all you know how to do anyway! And while you're at it, WHY NOT GO AND MASTURBATE EACH OTHER THROUGH YOUR PHONES AND SPREAD YOUR LEGS LIKE THE WHORE YOU ARE !"

Y/n had turned around, his face filled with tears, deeply shocked by what his boyfriend had just thrown in his own face.

"GO FUCK YOURSELF CHRISTOPHER AND I SINCERELY MEAN IT !"

His brain not allowing him to hear the other words spoken by him as they were so violent Chris then remembers leaving their house, for a walk refresh one's mind.

He ended up heading to Scott's house, his brother, without telling him about their big fight. He first didn't want to blame himself but Scott's accusing face and Sebastian's threats (being his best friend and his ex-almost-brother-in-law) had made him realize that it was entirely his fault.

But being stubborn and proud as he was, it was impossible for him to return home. Chris stayed for more than 4 months with his brother, not finding the strength to return home, being alone, knowing Y/n on world tour, he didn't know exactly what city he was in, but he knew he was still in the US.

Chris didn't have time to think more that his phone rang, displaying the name of his best friend: Sebastian.

But Sebastian was above all his lover's big brother and he knew that this one was the reason why Seb was calling. He hesitated all the same, not wanting to be scolded even if he thought he deserved it.

"Ha-hallo?"

"Chris, damn finally I've been trying to reach you for days ! You better explain to me what went through your head to do such a crap"

Chris knew that Sebastian was referring to his argument with Y/n but he didn't have the courage to express himself.

"I-I"

Before he could formulate an apologetic sentence, sebastian cut him off.

"You know what? I don't even want to know, get your ass back here and quickly. According to your geo-location you're only 1 hour away so be quick!"

"But I don't know where you are..."

"You'll find out by yourself like a big boy, and by the way, sober up before you come, you smell alcohol even through the phone...bye!"

Chris sighed and got up trying not to stumble, he had only assimilated half of his best friend's words but he was sure of one thing: he wanted to fix things with Y/n and returned to the course of their peaceful life, loving each other madly.

He walked to his car which was parked not far from the club where he had spent the night drinking and smoking endlessly.

Taking the road drunk was certainly a bad idea, that's why before taking the road he asked a barman for $100 to pass him some ice cubes, the barman complied without asking him for anything. It wasn't every day that a celebrity gave him big a tip!

Chris left with his huge bag of ice cubes and headed back to his car. He looked at the bag while sighing.

"That'll teach me to get drunk, come on Chris, you can do it! For your man!"

And he poured the contents of the bag over his head while letting out one more shrill cry which made turn the few passers-by who were present.

Among them, certainly paparazzi being informed of the presence of Chris Evans in a Bostonian club. Chris could not give a damn about them, all he wanted was to find y/n the love of his life! settled in his car being still wet and retrieved his phone then went to the geo-location app and looked for Y/n's

"They can't be far if it's only an hour's drive"

Chris thought while looking for y/n's geo-location.

Turns out Y/n and and Sebastian were in Boston as well but across town.

"Well, looks like they're really close..."

He trailed off and sighed. He hoped despite Sebastian's words that he would have a little more than an hour to think about his apologies. How he was going to do to be forgiven by Y/n, knowing that he had hurt him deeply.

He threw the address on the GPS and started the engine, he was definitely not ready but one thing was sure, he wanted to be by his boyfriend's side in any way possible.

‐-----------

Part 1 completed ! ✅

Argg I'm so happy to begin this mini journey with you guys ! At first I wanted to make 1 part only buy I figured out that it was way to long to do it in 1 sooo there's probably going to be like 3 or 4 max ! Anyway hope you enjoyed it because I did !!

#Spotify #male reader #chris evans x male reader #gay love #gay #chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans characters #chris evans one shot #angst #sebastian stan

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iaminsideyourwalls · 1 year

Note

Sorry for the ask so soon after my first one, but really, I would love to hear about any head canons you'd like to share! :O Do you have a favorite merc?

Don’t apologize for asks, I love asks! I even put it in my bio.

You couldn’t ask a parent to pick a favorite child could you??? ;_; (although I do think about sniper every day.) I’ll give you a headcanon for all of them then.

Scout

he retained some French from when he was little. He’s not good at it in general but is a lot better at understanding it than speaking it. He can eavesdrop on Spy but can’t conjugate être. I also like versions of Scout that speak Spanish when people hc his mom as Latina.

Sniper

one of my all time favorite headcanons is Māori Sniper. Also, if you’ve seen this blog you’ll know i believe he’s an autistic king.

Engineer

I know a lot of people tend to portray him as a tender, kind, empathetic guy but I genuinely don’t think he’s ever felt empathy or genuine compassion in his life. Sure he knows how to act sweet and polite and soft and nonthreatening all the time but no matter how long you’ve known him, if you get in his way he’s already designing a new machine in his head to blow you away into the last century.

Demoman

Objectum Demoman is one of my all-time favorites. For real. I will genuinely ship him with eyelander, idgaf.

Soldier

I really love trans soldier headcanons. His transmasc swag is off the charts. It’s hard to come up with hcs for Soldier because he’s so fucking wild you could put him in any situation and it could be true. Lived in a diving bell for two years? Sure. Favorite food is un-husked kernels of wheat? Absolutely. Replaced his dick with his big toe so he could use it to walk? I could go on.

Heavy

during and after he obtained his phd in Russian literature he published a number of fiction books under a pen name. They’re all tasteful romances with subplots of political intrigue. They gained high critical praise and are still moderately popular in bookstores in Russia and some neighboring countries. all the royalties from sales go to his family. He’s also an autistic king.

Pyro

I don’t have many headcanons for pyro because I like keeping the whole mystery. I don’t wonder what’s under the mask or come up with possible names because I think the whole of the character is that mystery. But I will say that as great as unicorns and rainbows and cupcakes are, there’s really nothing Pyro loves more than hanging out with Engie in his workshop and pretending to help.

Medic

as far as my own headcanons, I have a lot. Here’s some. He does not have a driver’s license—he taught himself to drive by stealing a car. He’s insecure about his voice but he talks too much to really care. He’s always wanted a motorcycle. He puts drugs in his morning coffee. He doesn’t like classical music, he listens to the top 40s on the radio and sings along. The peppier the better.

One of my favorite Medic headcanons I ever heard was that he only has medical training as a veterinarian and I think that’s hilarious because it could absolutely be real.

Spy

He’s smart but he’s not as highly educated as he wants people to think. He never went to a university and maybe never even finished school. Just like Scout, he’s so damn good at what he does that he can afford to be more concerned with appearance and showing off than anything else. They’re both committed to making people see what they want them to see and nothing deeper.

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hanbindans · 1 year

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zerobaseone as IB students (headcanons)

some fun headcanons for my fellow students. please take these with a grain of salt, obviously I don't know them personally and these are just meant to be fun :) word count: 1.1 k (ca 140 for each) a/n: this is for a very niche target audience but it makes sense in MY head. also I have exams in less than 2 weeks so this is kind of representative of where my mind is at rn. and PSA if you're also an IB student please don't actually skip TOK <3

jiwoong

what's that?? "he's a 24 year old man, it's been years since he completed high school??" sorry I can't hear you too well I'll just go ahead and write this headcanon anyway <3

he's such a drama kid and he would take it even in IB, so theatre and korean lit would be his HLs

I feel like he would take bio and psych sl purely out of curiosity and then immediately regret it when he realizes how much content there is (but would be really good at psych)

aa sl!!! no particular reason tbh I just think he's kind of smart

doesn't understand tok. like...... at ALL. is saved by the fact that his psychology EE is pretty good because he pretty much flunks tok miserably

CAS defender because "guys it builds character I think it's great that we all do volunteer work :))" bless his heart

hanbin

7 subjects :)

is good at tok probably

genuinely puts SO much time and effort into his cas and regrets it in the end but it looks cool on his resumé

psychology and korean lit HL, probably takes VA too but maybe as sl. he gives such lit vibes I feel like he would totally be a literature kid

chinese ab!!!! and maybe ESS because he can and doesn't like science <3

AI SL just because he's so social science but he gets 6s and 7s because it's too easy for him <3

basically he's all the social science subjects but because they're FUN not because they're easy :)

shares notes and study resources in the class group chat because he's cool like that

zhang hao

science kid

HL math AA, geography, and maybe chem or bio. maybe takes physics SL too.

definitely chinese lang/lit and korean ab (he could definitely do korean B but he can't be bothered)

you won't catch him anywhere without a comically large energy drink

completely numbed on the inside but also puts more effort in than everyone else and gets straight 7's

skips tok though because he can't be asked

does his EE on a very niche obsession of his and it gets a really good grade but he puts way too much effort into it

everyone wants to learn his ways but he doesn't do study groups because he gets too annoyed lmao. WILL tell juniors chatting in the library to stfu

he will complain about anything and everything any chance he gets but also catch him getting that 45 at the end of the day.

taerae

also science kid but a lot less intense

HL bio, chem, music, SL AA, korean lang/lit and japanese ab

he would complain SO MUCH about group 2 btw he's one of those science kids who really doesn't want to do 2 languages lol

really only cares about music to be honest but does the sciencey subjects because he thinks they're cool and gets pretty good grades

the type to do a hyper specific science IA and spend way too much time on it just for shits and giggles because he likes pouring things into beakers and swirling them

unintentionally does the most for his CAS, like "oh a service??? yeah I've been tutoring guitar for like 6 months does that count" and genuinely fails to see how other people struggle with it

also excells at tok, like genuinely writes an amazing philosophical TOK essay and gets full marks

ironically cares so little about IB but somehow does so well because he genuinely likes his subjects (and has an iq of like 150)

matthew

7 subjects :)

wants to do more languages than he's allowed because he's just built like that, he likes flexing his multilingualism

HL english lang/lit, french B, history. SL AA, bio, chem, psych

is annoyingly good at all his subjects like HOW are you doing all that and remembering everything?? secretly kind of a genius

does the mostest for his IAs for absolutely no reason other than he's just interested in his subjects and wants to do fun projects :)

also genuinely likes CAS for the same reason (play sports feed stray cats, what's not to like?)

super ambitious classmate who is somehow the only one still sane and always happy

encourages everyone before tests and exams like "come on guys we can do it!! :)"

ricky

this is more likely than you think like do you know how many rich international kids do IB??? in an alternate reality he's M23

visual art HL <33

probably business management HL too, but I could see him doing psych as well!! I think he'd enjoy the human relationships option

chinese lang/lit and english B because why do a bilingual diploma and struggle when you could just breeze through english B?????

AI and ESS sl because he cba, he just wants to pass fr.

to be honest he only really cares about visual art (does his EE in it and regrets it every day) and his social science a liiittle bit, other than that he's just doing exactly as much as he needs to pass

super chill classmate though like all IB kids need a Ricky in their class to humble our god complexes

gyubin

IB but because he's an exchange student :') like he didn't even know what IB was when he started it

cramming the night before tests because he can't be asked to dedicate his whole life to studying

actually the nicest classmate though

eng b HL and breezes through it

ESS and AI sl together with ricky (they sit in the back of the class and snack together <3)

also like business management/psychology or something equivalent but he's REALLY good at it and gets easy 7's?? like he will be that 1 kid who has that 1 subject that he's an absolute god at

cries every tok lesson but it's alright

favourite part is ironically CAS because he has an excuse to volunteer at dog shelters and play basketball with his friends :)

gunwook

peak IB child I bet he would take this programme for real

4 hls (economics, psychology, korean lang lit, chemistry)

I have no justification for these subjects btw I just spat out 4 that I think he would take. he definitely would do 4 HLs though because that's how he rolls

ALSO takes cas very seriously for absolutely no reason

also takes tok SUPER seriously- he will lead class discussions and get into heated debates about stupid shit like if newspeak would work in real life

AA sl and japanese ab because that's just his vibes

kind of overworked but is always helpful and shares notes with his classmates :)

does his EE in economics and ends up getting way too invested in it and becomes obsessed with economic development policies or something niche like that (nerd but affectionately <3)

very stressed and overworked but he WILL get those grades at the end of the day <33

#boys planet scenarios #boys planet imagines #zb1 #zerobaseone #boys planet headcanons #kim jiwoong #sung hanbin #zhang hao #kim taerae #seok matthew #shen ricky #kim gyuvin #park gunwook #this was purely for personal entertainment but I think it's fun so I'm posting it lol

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fruitymangobat · 4 months

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Twisted wonderland overblot hc (non-overblotters edition)

I'm less happy with these than I was with the original post lmao, especially Jade and Cater's.

Cater

So cater obviously has a social media addiction, I imagine he uses social media as an escape. He's always been in his sisters shadow, constantly bossed around and basically not having his own self. He pretends to be happy and pretends to be fine on social media, but he's not fine. He's depressed and doesn't know what he's going to do with his life because he's always had someone guiding him (wanted or not), he later extends this persona onto real life because he felt that "the people love the fake me more than the real me....". The only time he's genuinely happy is in the music club. Over time, this builds up and eventually... he overblots.

Rook

So Rook, we know him as this french fuck that's so positive and compliments like it's the last thing he'll do. But I imagine that it's a lie. All the compliments, all the things that make Rook...Rook. are a lie. He compliments everyone to be seen, he's used to being hidden, to not being noticed so he can catch his prey so he uses the overly done compliments as a cover up for his need for validation and attention. He gets so caught up in this creepy persona that it derails into him needing someone to latch onto so he can just get a visual on what he wants, eventually it becomes too much and all the need, the wants and everything Rook wanted in the beginning turns on him because he realizes that everyone just sees him really as a freak. And all that stress and fear of not getting the validation and being seen. He overblots.

Jack

Jack always wants to be better, to be the best he can be. But what if it's a cover-up for his fear of never being enough, I don't think it's ever confirmed where Jack lives, but we do know he doesn't have many friends. I assume it's because he's a big guy, and they're scared. But his younger sibling, the pups, if you will. They're little. They can be picked on. I imagine the siblings probably get bullied, and Jack defends them. Jack's fear of never being enough stems from him possibly never being enough to protect those he cares about. His admiration for Leona probably is a visual for what he wants to be, Leona protecting his team in that game is what Jack wants for the people he cares for. But wanting to protect can get too much for someone. Good things can be bad. And all this fear of protecting them and being the best so he won't disappoint anyone becomes too much. He gets too stressed... and he overblots.

Sebek

Sebek is loud. We know this, and we also know that he's loud because he absolutely adores Malleus and wants everyone to know about him, but what does this praise stem from? Let's not focus on that and instead his half-fae blood. We know he chooses to be perceived as fully fae as he deems humans "weak," but what if it's a cover-up for his shame and doubt. Shame that he is "weak" in comparison to full fae, something he (as far as i know) has only been shown with lilia and malleus, two people that had centuries to get as strong as they are and doubt because his grandfather, someone he looks up to was someone that hated humans with a passion. After a while this simply builds up, all the shame and doubt finally reaching its limit and the minute he is shown that he is enough, he is not weak, he is not any less of a fae just because of his blood. Combine those emotions with the negative ones, and it's simply too much for a body... and he overblots

Jade

Jade leech, the calculating and more secretive of the tweels. But why? Why keep such a thing as his unique magic secret? Why keep anything secret? He and floyd are described as long and scary in their merforms. And we know people who bully based on looks exist. What's to say the tweels weren't bullied because of how "scary" they are? I feel Floyd would simply brush it off, whereas it would affect jade more. Bullied to the point that he feels it would be better to keep things hidden, this only is being strengthened by Azul's behavior. After Azul's overblot, I feel like there would be a dent in their relationship with Azul, especially on jades end. It's slightly shown that azul trusts jade a bit more than floyd, so a dent in that relationship would cause an issue. And while Jade could be used to that, it can still become too much. The feeling of being locked out from one of his best friends and the after effects of seeing said friend overblot becoming too much...and he overblots.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst headcanons #overblot #overblot headcannons #twst jade #twst rook #twst sebek #twst jack #twst cater #twst cater diamond #jack howl #jade leech #rook hunt #twst jade leech #twst rook hunt #twst jack howl

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ourshadowstallerthanoursoul · 3 months

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An audience with... John Paul Jones

(from Uncut, April 2010 - link)

You’re stuck on a deserted island, you have one instrument you can bring. It is: a) piano, b) bass or c) mandolin? (Gary Attersley, Ontario, Canada)

Oh… that’s horrible! I’ll probably get Hugh Manson – the guy who builds all my bass guitars – to build me some monstrous instrument that encapsulated all three! Hugh and his brother Andy Manson once actually designed me a triple-necked guitar with 12-string guitar, six-string guitar and mandolin on it! Andy also designed a triple-necked mandolin. But I guess if it really came down to it on a desert island, it would have to be the piano, because you can do so much on it. You’re a whole band. The bass is not much fun on your own.

John, it’s so good to see you so engaged with today. Any advice for old farts who can’t move on? (Andrew Loog Oldham)

Who are you calling an old fart? I dunno, Andy, you tell me! Ha ha. He’s done a good job of staying up to date. Andrew, of course, gave me the name John Paul Jones. I was John Baldwin, until Andrew saw a poster for the French film version of John Paul Jones. I thought it ’d look great in CinemaScope, as I wanted to do music for films. I imagined it saying “Music By John Paul Jones”, over the whole screen. I never realised then that he was the Horatio Nelson of America!

I know that you’ve been getting heavily into bluegrass lately – who are some of your favourite bluegrass artists of all time? (Ryan Godek, Wilmington, Delaware)

Apart from Bill Monroe, you mean? Oh, there’s loads. I’m friends with the Del McCoury band, I love that style of classic bluegrass. I love Sam Bush’s Newgrass stuff. And of course there’s Nickel Creek, Chris Feely, Mike Marshall. I love it all, really. One thing I like about bluegrass is that you don’t require amplifiers, drums and trucks. You can pull an instrument out of a box and get on with some instant music making. I carry a mandolin around wherever I go. I also like the fact bluegrass musicians play more than one instrument. There’s a tradition of them swapping instruments. In bluegrass bands I swap between double bass, fiddle and banjo.

One Butthole Surfers anecdote, please? (Dave Grohl)

Ha! I was brought in to produce the Butthole Surfers’ 1993 album, Independent Worm Saloon. I guess it was to give it a heavy rock vibe, but it didn’t work like that. They were actually incredibly hard-working in the studio, but I do recall running up a phenomenal bar-bill at the San Rafael studio. And then there was Gibby [Haynes, Butthole Surfers’ frontman] and his… eccentric studio behaviour. Gibby did one vocal take shouting into his guitar. He held it out in front of his face and screamed at it. Ha! He was trying to find out if it picked up through the pick-ups, which it kind of did. And that was pretty good.

How’s the violin coming along? (Sean, Berkshire)

I started about three years ago. With the guitar, or the piano, you can sound OK quite quickly. With the violin, it takes much longer. Once you get past the first six months of scraping, of muttering to yourself, “What is this fucking horrible noise on my shoulder?” you get the odd musical bit, and you think, ‘Oh, this is starting to get good.’ And you continue with it for a while. I’m getting into country fiddle playing, Celtic folk songs, a bit of swing. Basic stuff, but very satisfying.

Why not record a second ‘Automatic For The People’ with REM? (Franz Greul, Austria)

They haven’t asked me! But doing the string arrangements for that album was a great experience, actually. They sent me the demos of their songs, and we went into a studio in Atlanta, with members of the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra. They were great songs, something you can really get your teeth into as an arranger. And I’ve been good friends with them ever since.

How did you first meet Josh Homme? And is he still a notorious party monster? (Rob Hirst, Kippax, Leeds)

Well, I think we’ve all calmed down rather a lot. Dave introduced me to Josh at his 40th birthday party. It was a ridiculous themed place where they have jousting with knights. As Dave said, it was like somewhere you’d have your 14th birthday party. Or maybe even your 4th. Anyway, Dave sat Josh and I together for a blind date. Which was reasonably embarrassing for both of us, surrounded by people going “prithee this” and challenging each other to duels. But we survived the trauma and went into the studio the next day, and just started jamming. And I knew immediately it was going to be something special.

If Them Crooked Vultures had Spice Girls-like nicknames what would they be? (Paul Jones, Liverpool)

Dave would be Smiley Vulture. He can’t stop grinning. Josh would be Slinky Vulture. He’s a slinky kinda guy. And I’d be Speedy, I guess. Or Jumpy. So there you go. Smiley, Slinky and Speedy. Or does that sound more like the dwarfs?

I remember you being a pretty funky bass genius back in the day! What memories do you have of those sessions? (Donovan)

The sessions with Don and Mickie Most were great, because we were given a free hand. I usually got leeway, because I was the sort of Motown/Stax specialist, so producers in the mid ’60s would get me in for cover versions of American records, and none of them could write bass parts convincingly enough, so I was London’s answer to James Jamerson, I guess! And I was certainly encouraged to get kinda… funky when I worked with Donovan.

How did it feel to see Jimmy Page and Robert Plant venture off in their own project in the ‘90s without mentioning a word of it to you? (Danny Luscombe, Hull)

Oh yeah, I was pissed off about it. The surprise was in not being told. It’s ancient history now, but it was a bit annoying to find out about it while reading the papers. It came just after Robert and I had been discussing the idea of doing an Unplugged project. Then I’m on tour in Germany with Diamanda Galás, I turn on the TV and see Robert and Jimmy doing it, with someone else playing all my parts! I was pissed off at the time. You would be, woudn’t you? But… it’s all in the past, isn’t it?

Did you listen to much work by Josh Homme or Dave Grohl before you were contacted in relation to joining Them Crooked Vultures, and if so, how did you honestly rate it? (Ralph Ryan, Lisronagh, County Tipperary)

I did like the Foo Fighters and Queens Of The Stone Age, before I’d met either of them. There’s a tendency for people – especially musicians from my generation – to say that there has been this terrible decline in musicianship, that today’s bands haven’t got the chops, blah blah blah. But that’s not true at all. There’s always some people for whom technique on an instrument isn’t necessary. They can get their ideas across without being able to have the chops. But Josh really does have the chops, he just doesn’t feel the need to flash them about all the time. In fact, there were a few riffs he gave me that I had to simplify, because they were bloody difficult to play. I really had to work at it, where he could just flick it off. He is an astonishing musician.

Were you serious when you told Peter Grant that you wanted to jack it in to become choirmaster at Winchester Cathedral? (Brian Fisher, Manchester)

Ha! That was a tongue-in-cheek joke, although I was serious about leaving Led Zeppelin in 1973 unless things changed. But Peter did sort things out pretty quickly. What kind of choirmaster would I have made? A bloody good one! Listen, any way that they’ll pay you for making music is just the best situation in the world. I’d do it for nothing. I don’t care what music it is. I just love it all. The rubbing of notes together. I love it all. I would be very passionate about whatever I decided to do.

What was the worst session you ever did as a jobbing session player? (Adam Burns, Castleford, West Yorkshire)

I generally have fun memories of that time. I’d criss-cross London playing two or three sessions a day, going between Trident and Olympic and Abbey Road and Philips in Marble Arch, you know. You’d be backing Shirley Bassey, Cat Stevens, Lulu, whoever was paying you. The worst experience was a Muzak session. With Muzak sessions, the music was deliberately boring. I distinctly remember one session where I embellished the bass part a little bit, just so that it wasn’t so boring for me to play. They said, “No, you can’t do that. Any interest in the music will distract people’s attention from when they’re meant to be eating.” Or standing in a fucking lift. For fuck’s sake! So I was like, “OK, thanks, bye!”

#john paul jones #jonesy #led zeppelin #robert plant #planty #jimmy page #pagey #john bonham #bonzo #60s #70s #70s rock #70s music #rock music #ourshadowstallerthanoursoul

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mxtantrights · 1 year

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the off the clock kiss

this is a snippet from the famous dc!au that started with The Greatest Hits [read here] you don’t have to read it but a lot of things would make sense if you do.

You’ve kissed Jason Todd before so you’re not sure why you’re freaking out. It’s the same pair of lips. It’s the same guy. But it is different.

Before, when you two kissed, it was in front of everyone. Dressed up in costumes and caked in some brutal amount of mascara and concealer and foundation. In front of expensive cameras and microphones. In front of Harvey Dent, renowned director of American rom-coms.

That was work.

This? Right now?

Jason Todd with his back against your front door and you pressed up against him with your tongue in his mouth? Yeah this wasn’t work. Or, it didn’t feel like work.

He tastes like he looks. Which is a bit dangerous and something ginger or cinnamon dashed. You can’t tell which and honestly you don’t care in this very moment.

Kissing him feels like time is slowing down in the most peculiar way. You can feel time passing and you don’t want it to end. Not when you have Jason Todd pressed up against you like this. His hands on your waist, giving you soft squeezes.

You pull away first. When you do you notice he’s slow to open his eyes. And he’s got the most dumbstruck look on his face. You’ve never seen him like this before, which is why you like it so much.

You’ve proven to him wrong.

“I think I just proved my point that I can kiss with passion.” you say.

He opens his eyes filly now. Like he’s taking you in- he is actually. It’s hard to miss. He gives your a full once over. And then that signature smirk in on his face like any other time he’s about to reply with something witty.

“So you’ve been holding back on set because you want to defend my honor?” he asks in return.

You hit him over the shoulder and take a step back from him so you’re not chest to chest anymore. Though that doesn’t stop your heart from beating any more wildly than before. He’s still got his hands on you.

“I’m new to acting. I wasn’t just gonna French you in front of the camera!”

He clears his throat, “Well I wouldn’t have not liked it. But also, you should think about bringing that energy back to set.”

“Are you- is that a complaint?” you retort.

He grabs your shoulders, something you didn’t know you wanted to feel until he did it and now that he has you wanna feel it again. You try to pull yourself together for the sake of the conversation.

“Listen, hun, that was definitely not a complaint. I’m just saying maybe we dial it up when the cameras are rolling. This is the sequel after all.” he answers.

You nod you head. And then he’s letting go of you. What you’re thankful for is the sound of the music you had playing earlier in the living room that fills the background or he would’ve picked up the when you let out at the loss of his touch.

“Have you read page 79?” you ask.

Jason scoffs, “Of course. What do you take me for, a slacker?”

You do. And since you think he really hasn’t read up to that part int he script yet because it’s still early days of filming, you want to have to some fun with him. About a year ago you thought he was going to be a pain in your ass, and you were right for the most part. Now you think you’ll return the favor.

So you smile even though you lips are bit tingly from kissing him. And he smiles back at you innocently. You think to yourself he hasn’t got a clue what page 79 entails at all.

“Great then I guess you won’t mind if I ask Dent to move filming that part Monday?” you ask him.

And he’s nodding his head. Checkmate.

Jason peels himself off your door and opens it a crack. Then he turns to you “I’ve gotta head out, I’ll see you on Monday.” he says.

You nod too, “Yup. Page 79.”

“Oscar winning performance incoming I think.” he jokes.

You laugh at that as he walks himself out your door. With a quick reminder you tell him to text you when he gets home and he agrees. When you close it behind him you smile. Not at the joke. Not at you pranking him. No. At the kiss. You can’t believe you kissed him off the clock like that! And with tongue! He basically asked you to show him what passion you could bring to a make-out scene and you did, but damn.

Now you’re waiting for Monday to prove to Jason Todd once again that you can bring passion to kissing while in camera. And you are absolutely positive he doesn’t know that page 79 is a make-out scene because Jason is in the middle of a Jane Austen binge. He comes to set two hours earlier to read up to twenty pages of the script to get ready for the day and last time you checked he was around page 50.

This was going to be fun.

#dc imagine #dc fic #dc x reader #Jason todd x reader #Jason todd imagine #Jason todd fic #famous dc!au #dc #Jason todd

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shelbgrey · 9 months

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Falling in love with James Aubrey after losing Lance Sweets part 2:

Paring: James Aubrey x Hodgins!Reader

Summary: headcanons about James Aubrey and the widow of Lance Sweets dating.

A/n: so this is a part 2 of the previous one(obviously, if you haven't checked out part 1 go read that if you want) this is just what your dating life looks like. - NSFW content warring!

🩷Part 1 🩷Dating mood board 🩷MasterList

Even though it took a while for you two to be officially boyfriend and girlfriend, you were both very much in love.

You hadn't felt like this in years, all giddy and for the first time in a while you didn't dread waking up. You woke up to with a smile every morning when you saw James sleeping soundly next to you.

You had peace and felt like you can finally move on without feeling like a terrible person, Lance would have wanted you to be happy.

He doesn't care who sees how much he loves you. He's not ashamed or afraid of showing his softer, more loving side if people at the Bureau or Lab can see.

Your friends family were so happy for you, it was nice to see you genuinely small and be happy. They knew James was a right fit for you.

Seeley felt like he need to give advice when it came to you guys being officially together. Not in bad way or an over protective way, just some advice... He promised Sweets he'd look after you.

He gave a whole bunch of advice and James took to heart even the little things that didn't seem like much, it was important to him. “don't leave your belts on the floor, at night they look like snakes”

“her favorite gummies are the shark ones, she won't eat any other kind”

I think after losing Lance your very protective of those you loves, especially James and the kids. It sometimes comes off as you don't trust him or made controlling but that's not the case at all. James knows your only worried and knows your intentions or only pure. His job worries you and your always worried your gonna lose him while he's out on the field.

“I promise nothing will happen and if I ever get hurt you'll be the first to know” he said kissing your forehead, all he wanted to do was calm your nerves. “if it makes you feel better I'll call even if it's just a paper cut” he joked, you playfully slapped his chest and scoffed.

You both are very open with each other, he wants you to know you can always talk about Lance to him and It didn't take long for him to open up about his father to you either.

Your relationship is also very playful and fun loving. He's always joking around with you and always trying to make you laugh.

He always making terrible dad jokes, you laugh just so you don't hurt his feelings. Your Kids being so young either think they are hilarious or don't get the joke at all, there's no in between.

This man loves your cooking, I mean we all know he'll eat anything and he's a human garbage disposal, but he literally adores anything you cook. It makes him feel loved that your always taking time after a long work day to cook for your family.

He's always helping too, one of his favorite things to do with you is cook, just Blast some music and give him a cook book and he's happy.

Your also the only person that can steal food off his plate, he's always willing to share his french fries with you.

In your early days of dating your close friends were suprised how James willingly shared half of his Ruben sandwich with you.

Your bag, purse, whatever you carry is full of his snacks. He's always storing candy, chips or whatever he can fit. “Babe, where's the gummies worms?” he asked digging through your bag.

“you ate them already” you said not looking up from your fie. James sighed and dumped your whole bag on Seeley's desk, looking for something to munch on. “really Aubry?” Seeley sighs then looked at you, you shrugged. “he's hungry”

Him and your daughter have made heart shaped pancakes for you every year on mother's day.

Speaking of your daughter, James and her have a great relationship. He treats her like his own kid and she's loves him so much.

He'd do anything for her, same with your son. He's such a great father figure and they both have him wrapped around they're fingers.

He got your daughter a puppy for her 10th birthday, it was a Beagle she named Bluey after Her and James favorite cartoon.

Yes, James watches Bluey. At first he'd just watch it because that's what Charlotte wanted to watch, but then the man actually got really into it.

He wanted to have every father/son experience with Little Lance that he didn't with his dad. Whatever your son wants to do or learn James is there.

You and James have bulit many bankforts with your kids, sometimes if it's just the two of you he'll talk you into it. “come on Jammie, can't we just watch the movie on the couch like a normal couple”

James shrugged and threw a couple of pillows on the pile of blankets he already collected for the fort. “well that's the thing... We're not normal, come on Baby it'll be fun!”

But if the blanket fort doesn't involve the kids this man's mind gets dirty. “and we can do... Other activities” he said kissing your neck.

Yup... You had sex in a blanket fort and it has collapse on you guys before, do what you want with that information.

He's a rough kisser, he's a little bit taller than you so usually he hold your chin between his fingers and lift for head up to kiss you.

He also loves getting forehead kisses, it's just such a soft and gentle gesture he loving receiving. He loves it when he's at his desk and you give him a kiss good-bye/hello on the head.

He loves kissing you on the cheek It's always innocent and loving, and a quick way to love on you even if you're in public or at work.

At the beginning of your relationship a kiss on the cheek is all you wanted to do, so if kinda became a staple in your relationship.

I think you need physical contact from him all the time. After losing Lance, cuddling is a good way to show your love and affection for James.

He's a big cuddler and just needs you in his arms all the time so it's a win/win.

He's big on hand holding too, if your walking around the city your hands will be locked together, or sometimes hell just hold your had if your setting down at a table or something.

He's soft with you. He's so gentle and delicate and you can tell through the way he brushes your hair from your face or the way his thumb sweeps over your cheek, that he just absolutely adores you.

It took awhile into the relationship for you to have sex, he respectfully waited and didn't want to do it unless you were 100% ready. With that being said you both found other things to occupy yourselfs.

Your Favorite games to play are battle ship and uno. Sometimes it'll end in a playful wresting match after one of you supposedly cheated. “you cheated” he said, looking at all his sunken ships. “no your just a sore loser”

After that he playfully pushed you on the couch and stared tickling your sides, he knew you cheated and he didn't really care but hearing your laugh was his favorite noise.

You guys love watching food network, any shows that involves food really.

Your Favorites are Iron Chef America and Hells kitchen.

He loves it when you set on his lap while he dose case work, sometimes if he's not giving you the attention you deserve, you'll crawl into his lap with your head on his shoulder.

He finds is adorable when you start playing with his tie when you get board. “how much longer Jammie?”

“few more things I promise... Don't you and your brother have a bug to dissect or something?” he joked.

Side note, you obviously call him Jammie, you call him that more than his real name, but let's talk about the other nicknames. You call him Honey a lot too and sometimes Jimmy. He calls you Angel, Sweetheart, or baby.

His nicknames for your kids are the munchkins and the personal ones are: Charlie for Charlotte and Lancealot or Seal for Seeley Lance.

You think this man is perfect in everyway, you love his eyes and the tiny gap in his teeth. He just seems so amazing in everyway even if he doesn't believe it himself.

“your so Handsome... Have I ever told you that?” he'll blush and nodded bashfully.

He's full of compliments himself, he's always making sure you know how beautiful you are. He's always admiring every inch of you. He loves your curves, eyes, hair, everything.

If you hate something about yourself chances are he finds is gorgeous. He'll help you see the beauty you don't see.

You refuses to sleep unless James has fallen asleep first, you just need to know he's okay before you can have a good night sleep.

He'll catch on quickly and now he's made it his job to make sure you get a good night's rest. “go to sleep Angel, I'm not going anywhere”

Most of the time you'll wake up in the middle of the night and need to hear James' breathing, or just make sure he's safe beside you and still alive.

NSFW headcanons:

He’s an expert at foreplay. He’ll spend as much time as he can trying to get you hot and bothered or worked up.

He has this mischievous kind of charm to him and he uses it to his advantage when it comes to getting your attention. He knows all your ticks and can easily get your riled up.

James loves bitting your earlobe and neck just to hear you moan. When you finally give in to him, he'll lay you down on the couch or bed and start pealing your clothes off to reveal your chest.

He can't help but smirk to himself when he sees how hard you’re breathing due his touch, he loves it.

He loves hearing you moan. If you try to hold back or even muffle them when it's unnecessary, he'd put an end to it. “please don't hold back Love, let me hear you”

He's pretty vocal himself, sometimes it'll be low grunts and moans or he'll be cussing and praising you. “your so Beautiful... Fuck”

Bondeg kink, mostly handcuffs or his his ties, sometimes his belt if you guys don't have access to anything eles. Usually it'll be in the heat of the moment. he'll tie you up with anything if your comfortable with it really.

He's a biter, there has been many occasions you had to cover up your neck with make up after he's marked you up.

He's a boobs man, He’ll push your bra up and take a nipple into his mouth. His tongue swirls all around. He loves if when you start moaning and tugging at his hair, He honestly can’t get enough.

He's definitely the dominant person in bed and your not complaining, he'll get rough and pound hard enough were the bed starts rocking.

Like I said he's vocal, but he'll never to degrade you an any was but his sex voice is deep and husky. You call his 'Agent Aubrey' voice because the tone is very similar to one he uses on job, you find it very attractive how dominating it sounds. “relax Beautiful, I got you”

Loves eating you out, your legs around his head. He loves your legs and thighs in general and loves leaving kisses on the insides of your thighs. He'd rather pleasure you for hours than receive.

He love getting head. I feel like he’d like having you on your knees. Plus, feeling your lips around him pushes him closer to cumming in your mouth.

He loves feeling your fingers in his hair at any given time during sex, he loves it when you tug on it while he's pleasuring you.

The way he kisses you makes your heart race. He holds your face in his hands and you honestly feel like you and him are the only things that matter in the world.

He loves to cuddle after words, loves the feeling of wrapping you in his arms and keeping you safe after a long night of activities. He'll always be touching you in some way during the night whether it be an arm draped over you or legs tangled together

#James Aubrey #James Aubrey x reader #James Aubrey imagines #BONES #Bones imagines #Bones x reader #John boyd #Agent Aubrey #Bones headcanons #James Aubrey headcanons #Jack Hodgins x reader #Seeley Booth x reader

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swallowerofdharma · 2 months

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Over Casca’s naked body

Part one: A long premise

We can’t escape from our geopolitical context even when we are reading manga. We have internalized a good amount of beliefs, values, practices, even regulations from our lived experiences and various simulacra we have been exposed to, especially those in an audiovisual form.

If you grew up in the US, you know that freedom of speech is a core value there. But, while you can say mostly whatever you want within your own country, the US constitution has given the government the right to regulate what comes in from abroad. [1]

And that power has been used. Idealistically, greater access to common technologies even before the internet should have seen a redistribution of the media-creating capacity to many foreign countries outside of the US, so that people could tell their stories. But that hasn’t always been the case, with some exceptions, especially if we consider the biggest narratives that reached global popularity.

During the Cold War, anything that might be considered “communist propaganda” could be seized by the Post Office and never delivered. Books or even souvenirs from communist countries, for instance. Pamphlets criticizing US foreign policy. (…) Obviously it wasn’t totally like North Korea, plenty of foreign movies and music were allowed into the US. But the media that caught on was either already Americanized, or so plastically exotic that it doesn’t really say anything about the culture where it is from. The Beatles were British, but they got their start covering American rock and roll musicians. When John Lennon stepped out of the line, the American government made sure that he knew it. Movies imported from Japan were mostly samurai flicks, with very few movies set in the modern day. The film Ikiru is widely considered the best Japanese film ever made (…) but this existential drama about a depressed lonely man was only given a limited release in California, and the poster was edited to feature a stripper who is only in the movie for one minute. The narrow stream of European movies that made into the USA came in the form of the French New Wave cinema, movies that were stylistically inspired by American films, but also so stuffy that few audiences would ever want to watch them anyway. This was further stifled by the Hays Code, a set of extremely strict regulations that were in place from 1934 to 1968. (…) Some things that were completely banned from ever being shown in any film included: bad guys winning. All movies must end with the police outwitting the evil criminals, or the criminals causing their own demise. Any nudity. (…) Blood or dead bodies. (…) Interracial couples. White people as slaves. Criticism of religion, or of any other country. Naturally this prevented the more artistically liberal European films from being shown in American cinemas and when they did get a release, they were usually edited (…). At least until the rules were abolished in 1968 and replaced by the age rating system we have today. [1]

Even after several decades of access to the internet and foreign cultures, some attitudes have been internalized and carried on. For example, I had direct experience of the ways my own culture has been perceived and stereotyped or interpreted in terms not dissimilar from the exotic. And the same happens to me probably if I don’t keep in check my own personal beliefs about cultures that have been presented to me in similar ways. And I was surprised to see by how deeply rooted and spread are certain attitudes towards punishment or violent retribution viewed as necessary, the policing and self policing, and the expression of judgments or condemnation, and all this can complicate the understanding of different forms of narratives and the acceptance of different cultural attitudes and norms, without the expression of any opinion about morality or legitimacy.

I am reminding you that this is a long premise because I evidently don’t have the gift of brevity but this article is about Berserk and Casca.

In 1956 Anna Magnani won the Academy Award for Best Actress for her first English-speaking role in the American movie The Rose Tattoo. In 1958 Miyoshi Umeki was the first Asian born actress to win an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress in Sayonara, a movie that despite its title was an American drama starring Marlon Brando. It isn’t hard to see in these decisions from the Academy, or the ones that followed in other categories, the willingness to build relationships between the US and specific foreign countries where the American army had a massive presence and that after WWII were ideal places for American investors, considering significant rebuilding necessary after the loss in the war. The movie industry and everything around it had instrumental roles. When it comes to the Academy Award, it is very interesting to notice that the women were the first ones to be nominated, becoming ambassadors and facilitators of the reshaping of the images of Italy and Japan from enemies to new essential strategic allies in the Cold War. And here comes the problem of the exotic, because after several decades I still see similarities in the American perception of those foreign cultures, Italian and Japanese, to those easy and friendly and intentionally constructed imaginaries of that time. Take the press around Anna Magnani or Miyoshi Umeki for example. Terms are so widely used and repeated that they are still in their Wikipedia pages in English today. For what interests me here, I am going to quote or summarize parts of the video essay listed below as [2] but I really recommend watching it entirely. It really helped me understand some of the issues I am talking about here, but it is much more than just this. And there is footage worth the time. [I know that many people here on tumblr really dislike YouTube videos. I understand why, when it comes to manga and anime, written articles have still better quality and content, in my opinion, but there are also many video essayists doing their due diligence on several other topics. And when I am busy cooking I put them on].

In the 1950s one of the problem with the new alliance with Japan was the widespread hate and racism towards Japanese people.

The government stepped in, producing educational films meant to endear Japanese culture to Americans (…) They showed off Japanese industry, introduced Americans to sushi and sumo wrestling, explained the country’s new democratic system et cetera. (…) A lot of [musical] acts that were popular with American soldiers, specifically exoticized Asian girls bands, like the Kim sisters and the Tokyo Happycoats, come over to the US and appear on television as both entertainment and a sort of cultural ambassadors, not only demonstrating America’s cultural power and dominance by performing recognizable American tunes, but also signaling to white Americans that those cultures didn’t pose a threat. (…)

It’s worth looking at this film [Sayonara] as part of a larger theme in a very specific post war moment. Gina Marchetti points out in her book Romance and the yellow peril: «Between June 22, 1947, and December 31, 1952, 10517 American citizens, principally Armed Services Personnel, married Japanese women. Over 75% of the total Americans are Caucasian». Meaning, Japanese war brides and the concept of interracial marriages was very much a conversation. (…) Sayonara must be seen as one of many films which called for a new evaluation of Japan as an enemy nation. (…) Much of the way [Miyoshi Umeki] was discussed is probably exactly how you might expect. The language journalists used to describe her was unambiguously racialized and often condescending. In the aftermath of her Oscar win, for example, Louella Parsons called her «a lovely little bit of Japanese porcelain», adding: «What a cute little thing she was in her native costume». Still, her Japanese identity also seemed to serve as a symbol, an embodiment of the new friendly Japan. In Miyoshi, Americans would find an idealized portrait of reconciliation, a woman who bore no resentment over the war, a woman who brought homesick American troops to tears by singing White Christmas, who adored American pizza, who learned English by listening to American records. She was accepted because she actively appreciated and participated in American culture. [2]

The roles offered to Miyoshi Umeki are significant in many ways. After Sayonara, she was cast to play other Asian characters besides Japanese ones. One recurring theme in those movies in particular is the contrast between modernity and tradition.

William G. Hyland writes, Flower Drum Song is a «clash between the Americanized lifestyle of the young Chinese and the traditions of their parents». (…) Miyoshi Umeki plays Mei Lee, a Chinese stowaway who arrives in the US for an arranged marriage. The more Americanized she becomes the more independent, the more willing she is to strike out on her own. [Chang-Hee] Kim writes: «[Flower Drum Song] flamboyantly shows that Asians in America were ready and willing to cast off their heritage and become real Americans in repudiation of the pre-war racial consideration of Asians as permanent aliens». I mention this not only because it’s one of Miyoshi’s major roles, but also because this theme, a supposed enlightenment via westernization, occurs again and again in her filmography, particularly in her work on television. Han [?] writes «Umeki’s representation on television is in constant oscillation between her status as a subservient Asian woman and her transformation into an assertive, modern female professional who has achieved independence through American cultural influence». [2]

Bear with me for a little longer if you can, because we are at the point where, watching the video, I experienced that sensation better translated visually in a lightbulb being turned on. I am skipping here the presentation of the story and footage from Miyoshi’s first appearance on television in The Donna Reed Show, but I once again invite readers to watch the video, which features high quality original footage. I was really struck by the “sensitive way” the American woman - Donna Reed I presumed - approaches the character played by Miyoshi, as the writers back then were well aware of the sensitive racial implications, and nevertheless a certain mentality pushes thought. Watching still, it is easier to avoid the presumption that in the 1960s “they didn’t know better” or that contemporary attitudes have improved greatly, just because we are more careful about the language we use.

The thesis statement of this episode is not subtle. The rejection of traditional Japanese customs allows her to live more fully in a democracy. Of course it isn’t really much of a choice, is it. Maintaining the customs of your culture or risking alienating your entire community. She changes her clothes, puts on a hat and goes shopping because she is an American now. Obviously these stories are told from the white American perspective, where this rejection of tradition and culture is portrayed as unambiguously positive and relatively tension free. This was not the case in Japan where the relationship between modernity and tradition were richly explored in cinema, particularly in women’s films. [2]

I would like to add that the independence that Donna’s character shows is only possible because of a series of factors, including the fact that her husband secures her a higher level of comforts, in comparison with lower classes or non-white Americans, and that domestic work is presumably done by home electrical appliances or other women, especially when you add child care and looking after the elderly to the equation. The unwillingness to consider those types of labor, traditionally carried on by women, as of equal importance to any other jobs is rarely discussed when it comes to the issue of women’s emancipation. Not to mention how, alongside this idyllic world shown on television, in the same country large numbers of women have to deal with continuous push backs in the name of different traditional values that all the same prevent many of them from achieving true equality. Those types of conversation and conflicts between traditional and modern happens at the same time in many countries and in most cases translates to continuous negotiations and compromises carried by men and women in real contexts and real situations, without necessarily white American women being aware of it or of all the necessary nuances.

Let me add this last element of conclusion about Miyoshi Umeki’s story.

In 2018 her son told Entertainment Weekly that in the 1970s she etched out her name on her Oscar and then threw the trophy away. Although he isn’t sure exactly why she did it he said: «She told me, I know who I am and I know what I did. It was a point of hers to teach me a lesson that the material things are not who she was». What Miyoshi Umeki achieved is pretty remarkable but one can’t help but feel that she could probably have done a lot more if she’d been allowed to move beyond her identity. [2]

Part two: Are we reading the same manga?

After considering all this, and more that I can possibly include in here to avoid this being even lengthier, I can’t help but wonder about the generalizations I have seen repeated vastly about portrayals of women in Japanese media, as well as misunderstanding of cultural attitudes towards nudity or the treatment of sensitive topics like sexuality and rape. There is a diffuse certain sense of entitlement, sometimes you can hear a condescending tone even, and this isn’t limited to the US. But why approach a foreign culture with a patronizing attitude instead of trying to understand the context more deeply? So many manga readers are willing to ask for clarification on translations, but not many ask about the context or the visual aspects involved in manga writing. I like to read analysis about different topics, so I look for them in English too because they are very numerous and easily accessible, but when it comes to the critique about the portrayal of women in too many cases I have to click away because of too many bias or that subtle sense of superiority of judgment. Berserk has become easily accessible and more and more popular but it is so greatly misunderstood at various degrees by a lot of its western readers - me included - and I really wanted to understand what is preventing, in most cases, a textual and contextual analysis.

The Hays Code hasn’t been around since 1968 but the sentiment that the only proper conclusion for every story is the triumph of the good guys and the punishment for the wicked is very much alive and well. There is this conviction that the only clever readers are those able to separate the heroes from the villains, or the good deeds from evil, and root for the right side to achieve retribution and satisfaction. The Hays Code hasn’t been enforced officially but it’s there in essence and every counter narrative has been rendered almost ineffective or judged poorly. As for the treatment of women, I don’t feel like we can honestly and surely compare or scrutinize Japanese media under special lenses. Nudity in comic books seems to me to be very common outside of Japan too, depending on censorship rules. I certainly notice how frequently Casca is shown naked or has been threatened with sexual violence, but I also notice that she isn’t the only one. The exaggeration of Guts’ muscles and the mutilation of his body are largely put on display. Griffith is intentionally shown fully naked, or completely covered by an elaborate armor, and he is subjected to many threats of physical and sexual violence as well. Charlotte is shown naked, but always in her bedroom, in a private environment or with a transparent cloth or a sheet of some kind to make her nudity different from the occasions when Casca’s body is publicly displayed. I am careful with my own thoughts when I read Berserk, I take the time to analyze my reactions and what I am feeling in these situations. I think that this is the reason that certain books or media are intentionally aimed to adults. I don’t feel a necessity to call to censorship or to give guidance of a moral kind but rather to make the necessary reflections. And I can’t imagine how someone can understand the story without taking their time with it. Part three: Casca’s rape

In 1973 the animation studio Mushi Production released a film called Belladonna of Sadness. I haven’t seen it yet but I know a little about it and I am planning to watch it when I feel like I can do it without being affected in a bad way. It is well known that Miura remembered this film when he designed the Eclipse. In 1975 Pier Paolo Pasolini directed the film Salò or the 120 Days of Sodom, which I strongly don’t recommend to the casual viewer or anyone who felt even slightly offended by Berserk. Suffice to say that in a particular political climate and in the context of the sexual revolution of the late 1960s, in the 1970s nudity and sexuality were at the forefront of the debate and human bodies were exhibited in a symbolic way that can be misunderstood today without knowledge of the context. Gender expression was questioned and men grew their hair or refused to wear suits or to follow rigid dress codes regardless of their sexual orientation. Sexual acts were considered political acts in ways that aren’t comparable with today for many reasons. The languages, the words and the visuals we use are ever changing and actual for a moment and gone the next one or misunderstood. Many words used by queer people in the 1970s wouldn’t be received well today, because the context has been transformed. For what I understand, in films like Belladonna of Sadness and Salò rape and cruelty are preeminently used as symbols because rape and cruelty presented in a direct visual form effect greatly any type of audience and can’t go unnoticed. The sociopolitical climate in the 1970s, in the middle of the Cold War, was particularly violent, both in Italy and Japan, and the art of the time can be remarkably bleak. [Go Nagai’s Devilman was published between 1972 and 1973, Osamu Tezuka’s MW was published between 1976 and 1978, Takemiya Keiko’s Kaze to Ki no Uta was also published between 1976 and 1984].

Kentarō Miura was born in 1966, he breathed the air and grew up in that same climate and was influenced and informed by it, especially later, when he finds himself as a young man in the renewed bleakness of the 1990s. It is likely that he saw Belladonna of Sadness when he was old enough, when he started to develop the story of Berserk, and after being greatly influenced by Nagai’s Devilman. The number of sources of inspirations that Miura used for Berserk is vast, varied and multidimensional and includes books and novels and films of various genres (historical, fantasy, horror, sci-fi in particular) manga, foreign comics books, and traditional art. It is often pointed out among fans that he was also a big fan of Star Wars. Pop Culture Detective released a very interesting video essay called Predatory Romance in Harrison Ford Movies [3] that brought to my attention many things that I didn’t notice or thought about when I was seeing those films myself as a young girl [I am more or less a decade younger than Miura fyi]. Analyzing Star Wars, Indiana Jones or Blade Runner with particular attention to the relationship between the male lead, Ford, and women is an interesting exercise and helps to re-contextualize our judgment about the treatment of women across different media with arguably less reach than Star Wars. I am not inviting anyone to make comparisons and ranking which is better, or absolve Miura because he was influenced by the context around him as everyone else, but I am asking to let go of the presumption that Japanese media in particular presents problematic attitudes towards women by default. The problems are much more generalized than we’d probably like. Better analysis or methodologies are needed to make a proper assessment, and we really shouldn’t assume by default that manga (for boys and men) equals bad treatment of women.

I hope that someone is still reading after such a long time. I didn’t know how to make my point on Casca without at least presenting some of these considerations. I must say I have understood myself better, having questioned why I was feeling uncomfortable when reading Casca but not offended. I understood that Miura wanted me to feel that way, uncomfortable, horrified, and I can appreciate Berserk better [in particular as a person that wasn’t permitted to live in a female body without a certain type of violence].

As stated previously, I noticed that Casca is more exposed and shown in all her vulnerability in much extreme situations: to multiple men in very public displays, like on the battlefield or at the center of the circle of Apostles in the Eclipse. She is also shown naked and vulnerable in other moments, especially alone with Guts. Those intimate moments with Guts, during the Golden Age, are instrumental for the readers to see her in all her humanity, without the armor, or the female dress, in order to build an emotional connection with her. In the cave, Casca makes herself emotionally vulnerable in front of Guts for the first time and tells him her story, exposing her past, her goals and her true self. She tells him things about Grittith too, things that are meant to show Guts/the readers Griffith as much naked, vulnerable and human as she is. Let’s pay attention and try to recollect Guts’ reactions to her story: he is listening to her, but he is embarrassed, distracted and attracted by her nudity and he fails to see Griffith as a human being, potentially fallible and not much different from Casca or himself. Guts also fails to take away from the story the original message, something more than Casca’s infatuation with Griffith as part of her being a woman. Comparing Guts’ reactions to Casca’s nakedness, his recollections or focus on the conversation, what he takes from it and what he doesn’t: a big part of the male readership of Berserk is probably in his same situation. It isn’t till later by the waterfall, that we see Casca alone with Guts again in an intimate way. This time he is naked and vulnerable and completely exposed too. This time through the physical connection between the two, within the sexual act, Guts can’t hide himself anymore, can’t deflect from his past and his fears. I assume that that is an important moment for the male readership to start to feel emotionally invested in the connection between Guts and Casca. That emotional connection and the investment in the relationship helps them to see Casca as a human being through the Eclipse and if that didn’t work then they still can see and feel the horror of the rape of Casca through Guts. Because Miura didn’t want anyone to enjoy that scene or to be sexually aroused without at least the horror and the moral objection to it.

Casca is a woman of color, born in a disadvantaged family and community, that ended up in a mercenary group without achieving the things she wanted, never fully belonging and constantly threatened by groups of men on the enemy side with forms of violence specifically targeted and unnecessary cruel. And everything she goes through culminates or goes back to the Eclipse - before and after - and that should be taken as completely symbolic. Like the multiple instances of rape in Pasolini’s Salò, the innocent, poor and exploitable youth is violated by those in power or those who are in charge. Gambino decides that Guts is expendable or due a lesson in humility, he takes the money and coldly facilitates Guts’ rape. Gennon is rich and powerful and pretends to recreate his fantasy, a sick version of Greek ped*philia. And all he does is using money and power to horrifically exploit the youth and Griffith offers himself up and loses a fundamental part of himself in the process. But the most cruel thing in Berserk is Griffith surrendering to the call of power and doing the same thing to Casca, in the absence of lust or desire: the corruption that has been in him - and has reached Guts as well - has spread. Griffith’s surrender to the call of power, and his intolerance for more of his own pain, silences all empathy in him.

In conclusion, nudity has various narrative functions, beside the suggestion of the erotic: through each character’s naked body, male or female, we see their vulnerability and their fundamental humanity [and if I remember correctly in contrast the rapists are always dressed or covered]. And rape has a symbolic meaning, beside the literal one and the psychological exploration of trauma. Violence but in particular sexual violence is one of the most estreme and powerful tools that can be used in stories [especially in visual media], but unfortunately the overuse of it in an edulcorate format, or as a tease, or devoid of any meaning, has ceased to call for disgust and challenge us to think, has perhaps lessen the impact and the gravity around it. In the 1970s Pasolini saw the dark side of the sexual revolution and how the rich and powerful were willing to build economic empires just to have access to the youth and to the most beautiful women. But he wasn’t the only one. We should reconsider Belladonna of Sadness and the original meaning of those themes in films or later in manga like Berserk and think about it deeply and seriously and not approach every piece of art as entertainment.

Videography:

How America got so Stupid [1]

Miyoshi Umeki: The First East Asian Woman to Win an Acting Oscar [2]

Predatory Romance in Harrison Ford Movies [3]

#berserk meta #casca berserk #manga analysis #this is so long is embarrassing #today we have largely divorced the aesthetic from the political and we look at the last century and don’t fully understand it #editing when I catch a mistake or a misspelled word #eri reads berserk

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