#i am a bath and body works addict though so i feel my opinion holds some weight

[lighthouseas]

okay no one asked but here is what the party is doing in bath & body works (i am u.s. american and have no idea if they have this overseas, so uh. if they don't and u are confused: it is basically a store where you can buy scented candles and lotions and stuff and it gives you a headache when you walk in because of all the smells. basically all u need to know)

ok. anyway.

el: goes in. smells every candle in the store. tries every "try me!!" lotion and body spray. leaves with a bottle of hand sanitizer or something. almost accidentally signs up for spam emails at the register before max stops her

max: goes in to buy the same lotion/body butter/shower gel/whatever else scent every time. she sticks to what she knows. HOWEVER she is not immune to smelling all of the new scents on the shelves and gagging when they are all unequivocally terrible compared to hers (the best one, obviously) (she's so me)

lucas: smells all of the candles with el. jokingly shoves all of the shitty scents in mike's face to make him gag (mike does the same back ofc). ends up buying like 5 candles because they're on sale or something

mike: hates the store because it gives him a headache. goes in and buys something anyway because it's there. probably shower gel or something. maybe body spray if he thinks will will like it (he totally does not watch will to see what scents he likes and then buys them immediately after. why would he do that. he has Never done that.)

will: buys three different lotions because they're on sale and he can't pick which one he likes the most. engages in candle sniffing with el and lucas. also engages in spraying body spray onto the little testing strips with max and gagging because most of them smell terrible

dustin: yk those scent things that you plug into the wall and they stink up your house. yeah. he buys like 10 of those and everyone is terrified of going in his house because it's like walking into a bottle of perfume. he claims the scents calm him even though everyone else is about to pass out from the fumes

[star-maiden]

Oracle of November - Healing and Personal Growth

Theme: What is needed for your highest growth and healing?

Hello and welcome! This week we are seeing a bit of a change with my readings! (Don’t worry. I will still do the Tarot Forecast). With everything that has been happening in the world recently, I think many of us are noticing a shift in energy. People are fearful, worried, anxious, angry, and all the shades of feeling that come in between. This week, I was inspired to do this oracle reading focusing on the themes of healing, self care and what we need to focus on to become the best, brightest version of ourselves. I asked Spirit to share messages that we needed to hear at this time to support our highest growth and healing, and in general help us handle everything that is happening in the world in a healthy and supportive way. As with all of my readings for the collective, these messages are meant for a wide range of people, life paths and situations. It is general outlook advice. As such, you may find that not everything resonates with you completely, and that is ok. Please take only what resonates and leave the rest. You will also want to check your sun, moon and rising signs for the message or messages that are meant for you. I sincerely hope that these messages will serve your highest and greatest good, and assist you in making wise, informed decisions. May you be safe and supported at all times!

⭐ Another deviation from my usual modus operandi this week is that instead of my tarot cards, I will be using an oracle deck. This is fairly unusual for me because I tend to only use my oracle deck in private readings for myself or with clients. However, I feel that this particular oracle is best suited to the task of providing us with the messages that will be most supportive at this time. If you guys like the oracle reading, I may start doing a monthly oracle for the collective. Please let me know if you would be interested in seeing that! This deck is the Starseed Oracle by Rebecca Campbell and Danielle Noel.

General Message: The general message for the entire collective at the moment is The Void. Stop. Embrace Winter. The Great Cosmic Womb. The message of this card tells us to surrender to the unknown. Trust that just because we do not have all the answers and cannot see every little thing that is happening beneath the surface, it doesn’t mean that something is not at work. We will all be best served by taking a sacred pause at this time. Rest, replenish and prepare ourselves to move forward in action again when the time is right.

♈ - Aries: The Great Severing. Mars energy. Anger. Conflict. Softening to love. For you this month, Aries, I am sensing that there is a rift that needs to be mended. This may be a conflict with loved ones or acquaintances, or it may be an internal conflict that you have been struggling with. This card is one of shadow work and confronting anything in our lives that make it difficult to feel connected to love, and supported in our work/daily lives. This card is appearing to tell you that it’s ok to feel the way that you do, even if the emotions may seem negative. In order to move away from hurt and anger, we have to go through the experience and process of feeling these things. Whatever is coming up for you, acknowledge it, process your feelings by allowing the experience. It doesn’t make you “weak” or incapable in any capacity, it makes you human. Still, do not feel ashamed of your reaction to difficult emotions. Wanting to hide away, to close your heart off and to protect yourself from further pain is normal. However, when this happens, it’s important for you to acknowledge what is happening and consider the reasons why. Do what you need to do to move through the experience of your emotions. It may be that you need some time for yourself, or that you need to talk to someone you trust, or even that you need to seek professional support. All of this is perfectly ok. Take care of yourself, Aries.

♉ - Taurus: Soul Plan. The Fated Life Vs the Destiny Life. Taurus, right now you need to remember your roots and your strength. What was it about your character, personality or spirit that has carried you so far already?  You have wandered away from yourself, and have not been standing in your power. This card is telling you that you have not lost your strength, but rather you have forgotten. Sometimes, when we find ourselves in unfamiliar situations, or on a path to which the destination is unclear, we experience doubt and fear. This is ok to feel, but don’t let it rob you of your agency. You are being called to remember the strength of your soul and the inspiration of your spirit. What can you accomplish when you lead from a place of love, rather than an illusion created by fear?  

♊ - Gemini: Messenger. Sirius Energy. Bringing Harmony and Balance. The message for you this month, and the way that you can support your highest growth and healing right now rests in the power of your voice. This is the power of your mind and your words to create and communicate. It may even be that you are not the one in need of healing at this time, but that you are being called to act as a mediator for someone else. The message of this card is that there are certain souls on this planet who are here to spend their lifetimes uplifting the collective energy, and to be the guardians of balance and harmony. Their life path or purpose, in this sense, is to help the collective recognize the connections that tie us together. This includes connections between people, people and the planet, with spirit and the divine. It is possible that you are one of these souls tasked with holding this frequency of pure love. There may be a special calling or work that you feel drawn to, or you could simply be meant to live your life with great love and intention, leading by example. This month, consider how you can create balance in your life? Who does this benefit? How does creating balance take care of you? Be sure not to create this balance at the detriment of your own well being, though.

♋ - Cancer: Loosen Your Grip. Coping Mechanisms. Destiny. Addictions. Let God In. This card is appearing to let you know that there is something, a feeling, habit or idea, that you have been holding onto too tightly. It is likely that you have used this thing as a coping mechanism; as a way to distract yourself from the things that are not going well in your life, or to cover a vulnerable aspect of yourself. This is not supportive for you, and has become a hindrance to your growth and happiness. It is time to let go, and to trust yourself and the experience you are having now. You are strong and capable, and can meet any challenge with grace and ease. Do not let fear tell you otherwise. Call in support if you need to. The oracle book says this: “Loosening your grip doesn’t mean that what you are clinging to will go away. It may. Or it might stay. But you can be sure that what is for you will find you.” Take this time to let go of anything that is not serving you, or that is destructive in any way. Letting go is part of the healthing process.

♌ - Leo: Star Bathing. Light Body. Crystal Grid. Transmission. Activation. I’m hearing a question for you, Leo. Spirit is saying “Where do you shine?”. In what ways do you feel most inspired to show up in the world? In what ways do you feel stifled? This card is asking you to consider what has been going on recently in your life. Is there anything that makes you feel especially drained, or reluctant? If so, it could be that it is not meant for you and needs to be let go. It could also mean that you are spending too much time focusing on outward actions, and not enough time doing things that are meaningful and restorative for you. Evaluate your feelings and energy levels. Take things slow. Is there anything that needs to change?

♍ - Virgo: Earth School. Life Lessons. Soul Growth. Study. Higher Learning. There is something that you need to learn, a karmic lesson perhaps. What has been showing up for you again and again? Virgo, pay attention to any patterns that may appear in your life right now. This is a sign that you need to pay special attention to these areas as it is time to mend them. This card also asks you to consider your perspective on any difficulties that show up in your life right now. You may find them easier to handle if you think of them as opportunities for growth, rather than “getting something wrong”. This month, consider: How are you being called to grow and learn?

♎ - Libra: Earth Pulsing. Pulse of the Mother. Slow Down. Time in Nature. Wow, Libra! Spirit’s message for you came through so clear! This month, you need to focus on self care. If you have recently found yourself in a cycle of “go, go, go” and are feeling a bit tired, then it’s time to rest. It’s time for you to reconnect with nature, with yourself, with the earth energy. When you take time for yourself, you allow for stagnant energy to fall away, and open yourself up to receiving more energies of love and inspiration from the universe.

♏ - Scorpio: You’re not for Everyone. Embrace Your Weirdness. Face Your True North. The message of this card tells you that you shouldn’t try to fit in or conform to anyone’s perception of who you are. Rather, you should focus on being true to yourself, and showing up in the world in a way that makes you happy. Sometimes, this is difficult for others to accept. Most often, it is the people who are closest to us that carry the strongest opinions of who we should be, and it can sometimes result in conflicts and disbelief whenever we uncover a side of ourselves that was previously hidden. Others may not agree with our choices or styles, but this is ok. We need to learn to be ok with each other's differences, and if someone cannot accept you for who you are, then it is a waste of your time and energy to try and convince them otherwise. In life, there will always be people who don’t like you because you don’t fit in the box that they have created to categorize and understand the world around them. This isn’t your fault or problem to fix. For every person that dislikes you, there is also someone else who will love you fiercely and stand up for you should you need it. Seek out these people. Don’t waste your time and gifts trying to make someone else see your worth. If they can’t see it already, it’s their loss.

♐ - Sagittarius: You are Not Alone. Isolation. Physical Connection. Community. With this card, Sagittarius, I am hearing that perhaps you have been spending too much time in your head. You may have withdrawn into yourself to deal with something, or to protect yourself from pain or conflict. In fact, many people find it deeply nourishing and healing to pull back from the buzz of the world, go within and rest. It is a great tool of self care, and a wonderful way to take care of ourselves when we feel overwhelmed. However, we can also spend too much time alone. If we stay withdrawn to the point that we are completely isolated from everything and everyone around us, then this can also be draining and damaging. Right now, it may not be safe for you to venture out and you’ll want to consider your personal health and safety when making decisions. One great tool that we have is technology. If you have been feeling isolated and alone, reach out on social media or to your friends via technology. How can you reach out to the people in your life to feel more supported?

♑ - Capricorn: Forge. Don’t Follow. Be the leader you wish you had. This month, Capricorn, you are being called to heal and mend something that happened in the past. This may be something that happened to you or to someone around you. Pave a new path forward by leading by example. Is there something that occurred in the past that you feel was handled poorly? This could also be in reference to social justice and equity. How can you be a leader in this situation? The book says “the most courageous and needed leaders are the ones who don’t wait for permission, or until they wake up feeling ready. They take a deep breath, put one foot in front of the other, and figure it out as they go.” This is a powerful message. Like Gemini’s message, I’m sensing that it may not be you who needs healing at this time. It may be that you are being called to light the way for someone else. If no one is stepping up to the plate on topics that you are passionate about, then forge your own way. If this is something that you feel very strongly about, then no one else would be able to meet your goal with the same level of skill, passion, experience and unique perspective as you can. How are you being called to lead right now?

♒ - Aquarius: Big Picture Thinking. Pleiades Energy. Visionary. Inspired Ideas. You are being called to bring healing and renewed energy into your life through your creativity and inspiration. Is there an area of your life that feels stagnant and watered down? If so, then it is time to breathe some life back into it; to rekindle your passionate spirit. It is never too late to make changes and to learn new things. Aquarius, you may be the sign that knows this lesson best. What new ideas or creations are you being called to pursue? These ideas may be revolutionary in the sense that they turn the status quo upside down, or they may be of a “big-picture” perspective; designed to create change on a large scale. This card is asking you to dream a new world into being for yourself. To do so, you will need to envision what sort of future you’d like to have, hold this vision and follow it with daily action. Walking this path may take great courage, but it will be worth it in the end.

♓ - Pisces: Child of the Cosmos. The intelligence of the universe lies within you. This month, you are being called to trust yourself. Trust your inner knowing and all the work you have done thus far.The intelligence of Spirit; of the universe and the Divine is within you, just as it is in all living things. It is the part of you that knows the way forward no matter how unclear and uncertain your logical mind becomes. However, because we all live our lives with free will, it can sometimes be hard to recognize the deeper wisdom of our higher selves. We may become disconnected from our intuition, and forget to trust our own sense of knowing. If you have felt lost lately, then this card is a reminder to look within. Trust the voice of your intuition, and let it guide you forward. You are always connected to the source of inner strength, wisdom, flow and power. You just need to remember.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Gavin’s Private Photoshoot Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

Valentine’s 2020 Collection: Kiro // Lucien // Victor

MC wants to go for a couple photoshoot with Gavin but is afraid of getting rejected. To lessen the potential blow of rejection, she asks Willow to play “matchmaker” and pretend that Willow won the chance to go for the photoshoot in a lucky draw but has no use for it

Gavin arrives, and MC fumbles with her reasons as to how the photoshoot would be beneficial for her work. To her surprise, Gavin agrees without a fuss

On the day of the photoshoot, they head to Planet Photo Studio

MC is unsure which theme to go for, so the photographer recommends a rather sultry theme incorporating feathers and spider webs. She asks Gavin for his opinion, and he is fine with it after making sure MC doesn’t have to wear revealing clothing

They change into their outfits, and she gets stunned by how he looks:

The slightly modified style matches the striped shirt Gavin is wearing. A feather-shaped pendant rests near his slightly exposed chest. It perfectly brings out the casualness that oozes from Gavin’s bones.

Noticing my eyes lingering on him, the corners of Gavin’s mouth lift.

Gavin: What’s wrong?

MC: Nothing much. I rarely see you dressed like this, so I’m a little surprised. What I mean by “surprised” is… that you look exceptionally handsome!

Not expecting my straightforward compliment, Gavin coughs lightly, and turns his head to the side to hide his blush.

Gavin: You surprised me today as well… Let’s go in.

MC’s confidence in doing the photoshoot eventually wanes because the photographer isn’t satisfied with how the photos turn out

The photographer comments that Gavin and MC seem to be too focused in aligning themselves with the theme of the photoshoot, but she wants to capture the real MC and Gavin, not just the feathers and spider webs.

According to the sequence of the photoshoot, the next pose requires me to sit on Gavin’s lap.

I repeat to myself internally: “This photoshoot requires me to be intimate. Just be natural, be intimate…” I let out a breath, and carefully sit on Gavin’s lap.

However, my stiff body feels like a wooden puppet. My pose ends up looking neither seductive nor sexy. The fact that the photographer has yet to press the camera shutter makes me even more nervous.

At this moment, a firm hand suddenly holds my waist. Gavin’s other hand cradles the back of my neck, his fingers carrying with them irresistible strength.

The distance between us closes in an instant, and I feel the warmth of Gavin’s palm on my cheek.

Looking at my flushed face through the reflection in his amber eyes, I am about to open my mouth to speak, but hear a shutter click from the side.

They finally get a satisfactory shot, and the photographer tells them to take a break. MC realises she is still sitting on Gavin’s lap:

MC: Gavin, I should… be getting up.

Gavin: This is quite nice actually. Or do you not like it?

MC: It’s not that I don’t like it… Anyway, why did you suddenly change the pose just now?

Gavin: I felt that you were too tense. So why not transfer some of that burden and stress to me? It’s just a photoshoot, there’s no need to worry so much.

MC decides to apply lip balm for Gavin because the lights from the studio are very bright and drying:

I put a little paste on my finger, and carefully rub it on Gavin’s lips.

MC: Don’t move.

Gavin freezes, not expecting my action.

His lips feel soft under my touch. Under the light, his moisturised lips have an attractive luster.

At this moment, Gavin is within reach, and all that I see is Gavin. The familiar scent of Gavin and the foreign smell of the gel entwine, making my heart beat faster and faster.

At such a close distance, my fingers can feel each and every single warm breath of his.

Under his amber gaze, his scorching breaths seem to be getting closer and closer…

Unfortunately they get interrupted by the photographer who tells them that the shoot can continue.

After the photoshoot, Gavin leaves for a mission which takes half a month.

In the present, MC receives a call from the photoshoot studio telling her that the photos are ready, so she collects them and goes to Gavin’s house to drop them off.

Gavin coincidentally returns from his mission while she is there, and she decides to tidy the place up while waiting for him to finish bathing. He finishes his bath, decked in the same striped white shirt he wore during the photoshoot. He sees her tidying the place:

Gavin: No need to trouble yourself. I can tidy the place up later.

MC: It’s no trouble at all. You should rest!

While saying this, I pull Gavin over to the sofa, beckoning him to sit down.

MC: Every time I’m at your house, you always treat me like a guest. I also want to t-treat this place as… as…

Even though I had rehearsed these two lines several times in my head, they end up stuck in my throat at the most important moment.

Gavin understands my expression and smiles, voicing the words I have yet to say.

Gavin: As your home.

MC: Exactly! So there’s nothing wrong with cleaning and maintaining the hygiene of one’s own home! If you feel bad about it, then… when I call you to help me with window-cleaning in a few days, we’d be even.

Gavin: Sure, I’ll be waiting for your call.

He asks why she decided to drop by, and she explains that the photos from the photoshoot are ready. He comments that he had planned to organise photos from previous shoots too, so they take a trip down memory lane while looking through past photos on Gavin’s bed. 

Some photos include blurry pictures of MC that Gavin took hastily whenever he spotted MC during missions but couldn’t say hello.

Suddenly, MC receives a business call and she leaves the room to deal with it. By the time she comes back, Gavin is asleep:

I quietly sit on the bed, a little angry at how Gavin always tries to be strong.

I can’t help but lean over and gently poke Gavin’s face… it feels nice.

This light touch seems to turn on a switch within me, and it is as though I am under a spell, addicted to it.

Gavin’s hair is coarser than I imagined, reminiscent of how persevering he is.

The bridge of his nose… a bone? No wonder his nose is so pretty.

My touches continue downwards. The second my fingers reach the corner of his lips, my mind brings me back to the scene half a month before when I was helping him apply the lip balm. It was this same softness, the same warm breaths that wrapped themselves around my fingertips…

I am just about to finish my little prank, but realise that my fingers are gripped onto tightly by Gavin. It is as though I am awakened from a dream, and I take in a shocked breath.

MC: Gavin…?

Gavin: …Mm?

Gavin blearily opens an eye before letting out a light yawn. My face flushes in surprise and shame, yet I pretend that nothing had happened.

MC: Y-you… When did you wake up?

Gavin: Just. I felt an itch.

MC: I didn’t mean to wake you, just that I rarely see you sleeping, so… Please continue sleeping! I’m really not going to bother you anymore!

I think of retracting my hand, but Gavin has no intention of letting go. Instead, he rubs the back of my fingers with his thumb.

Gavin: It’s not convenient for us to talk like this, let’s change positions.

Before I can agree, Gavin pulls me into his arms, the bed letting out a squeak from the weight.

MC: Shall we continue with the photos?

Gavin: We can do that later.

He hugs me a little tighter, his chin resting on my forehead, and I feel the roughness of his stubble.

MC: … Did you forget to shave?

Gavin: Does it hurt?

MC: No…. This is good.

And that is the truth. A simple clean home and an easy-going Gavin who doesn’t put up walls around me. Being able to enjoy a rare sliver of rest in such a busy world – There is nothing more pleasant than this.

Gavin: When you were taking the call, I looked at the photoshoot pictures. It was a little…

MC: “A little” what? Do you not like it?

Gavin: No, I like it very much. It’s just that the “you” in the photo didn’t really seem like you. Your pose was far more assertive than usual.

Just remembering the warmth of the photoshoot causes my entire face to blush.

MC: T-that’s only because of the photographer’s professional skills, the atmosphere and the lighting! Though I am rather passive in real life…

Gavin: You were quite assertive this time round.

MC: Hm?

I look up, not understanding what Gavin means. Gavin looks down at me at the same time. We are so close that our noses are almost touching, and I can see each and every one of Gavin’s eyelashes, and the narrowing of his eyes.

Gavin: When you and Willow were in the pantry discussing how she should play “matchmaker”, Minor was standing outside.

MC: So you knew from the start that I would invite you? Minor that little… I’m going to dock his-

Before I can complete my sentence with “pay”, Gavin seals my lips with a kiss.

His tongue pries open my lips, capturing all my lines of defense.

Gavin’s lips are even warmer than they were when I applied lip balm for him during the photoshoot, and it feels as though I am about to get scalded.

In the midst of the unbearable heat, I let out a whimper which is instantly swallowed by Gavin.

In the quiet bedroom, there are only sounds of our entangled breaths.

The photos we have yet to put away fall around us. These past moments witness this present kiss.

After a long while, Gavin’s voice is at my ear.

Gavin: Apart from photographs, I can give you even more private memories.

Gavin’s breath is as overwhelming as a spider’s web that leaves one defenseless.

The sound of the blinds being pulled shut is reminiscent of a camera’s clear shutter.

Click.

📷

Phone calls: First // Second

[pinkesthoney]

Howling at the Full Moon (pt 1)

Summary: Basically I’m hopped up on pre-full-moon-month energy and had to write something. You are Commodus’ date to a party wearing this dress posted by @it-vexes-me​. He drives himself crazy giving you wine to try and food to eat. 

Warnings: Dirty talk, suggestive themes but no smut yet!! 

Pairing: Commodus x F!Reader

Commodus almost couldn't bear the sight before him: you were (barely) wrapped in a gown made of fine black silk and a smooth gold ring. He had half a mind to demand you go and change until he saw how your eyes were absolutely glowing with pleasure.

He couldn't take away anything that made you this happy, even if it means he'll be snarling and glaring at any man who dares come within ten feet of you all evening–not that he wasn't usually possessive anyway.

30 minutes earlier. . .

"...Mistress, your dress has just arrived." the ancilla was very sweet, and very considerate about interrupting you while you were engulfed in painting. You glanced over, giving her a warm smile and waving her in along with the servus carrying the new package.

"Ah at last!! Ooh I am so excited for this one! Oh dear, will I have time to clean this mess off do you think?" you asked, looking down at the paint smudged all over your hands and arms.

"Certainly Miss, I'll fetch some hot water;." She reassured you, taking the dress from the servus and sending him off to go bring some boiled water. In the meantime she filled your bronze clawfoot tub partway with the water from the aqueduct. She helped you out of your paint stola and into a dressing robe. Quickly, the servi returned with the hot water and you were submerged in blissfully warm water, washing away the marks of your work.

After bathing, your ancilla helped anoint your skin with some crocus-infused olive oil. When you'd made sure your skin was glowing and soft as could be, you gleefully unwrapped your new dress, your ancilla giddily watching over your shoulder.

"Oh isn't it just magnificent?" you purred, letting it hang before you. "Do you think my Emperor will like it too? Not that it would change my opinion–but it would be a perk." you mused.

"Yes, Empress, I think he will be most...captivated." she giggled. With her help, you maneuvered into the luxurious silk.

"Ooh it's cold! thank gods it’s a warm night. mmm I can just hear the cicadas now." You felt goosebumps jump up on your skin both at the breeziness of the garment itself and the cold metal that kissed your skin from rib to hip.

You and your ancilla giggled together as she finalized your hair. You had her make it appear purposefully relaxed, framing your face gently without appearing over-styled.

Yes, you looked divine and you couldn't wait to steal the attention of every guest tonight. You had a knack for simultaneously being the center of attention without ever acknowledging it.

You dismissed your ancilla with a warm smile. You let yourself luxuriate it the power you felt. Your skin tingled with the cool metal, slick silk, and smooth as butter feeling of your oiled skin. It was divine.

This is how your emperor found you–stroking your hands gently along your exposed rib and across your collarbone. You glowed in the candle light, offset by the rich black silk and shining gold. He fell even more in love with you, just seeing you enjoy yourself so freely.

Commodus loved how innocently joyous you were. Like you'd never been hurt by the world–though he knew otherwise. You shone with some internal light, only accentuated by the candles.

"My Princess, you outshine the stars. Do you not think they will be jealous?" Commodus purred in his low timber, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms firmly around your waist, pulling you into his warm, sturdy body. He protected you in all ways, even when there was no threat present. That's why you could be so open and giddy.

"Well then, my King, kiss me for luck and I'll not fear their ire." You purr, leaning your head back, exposing your neck to him and letting Commodus swoop down and claim your lips. You let yourself melt into his hold.

"I can do you one better, my dear. See what I've brought for you here from Greece" as he said this he produced a delicate gold-link necklace with a blue eye pendant. Commodus knew you were firm in the spiritual realm and were always conscious of protecting yourself, so he'd found the most trusted mystics of his time, who had all recommended you wear a Nazar. The blue eye was found in many cultures and thought to ward off jealous thoughts and curses.

"It's perfect, thank you." You were smiling brightly as he draped the necklace around your neck. His hand lingered for a moment, not choking you, just holding you against himself. You could feel exactly how he felt about your dress and it delighted you.

"My King, I'm quite excited to make our appearance tonight." You giggled, gently prodding him to restrain himself... for now.

"I can't say I'm not dreading it in part. Those men will have eyes like wolves. But that will just give me all the more liberty to show them exactly who holds your heart."  He huffs against the nape of your neck. He's tempted to make a mark of some kind but thinks better of it. That would be a bit juvenile...maybe. He forces his mind elsewhere before he can consider it further.

"Ah, should we go, my moon?" He asks, voice just a bit strained.

"If it pleases my Emperor" You respond, feigning over-sweetness, knowing it would make him laugh. You loved his laugh–and it also took some of the tension out of his shoulders.

Together you made your way to the large peristyle, your hand linked in the crook of his arm. You entered the garden and was taken away yet again by the way the plants danced in the warm lantern light. Tonight the garden was filled with members of the patrician and equite classes along with artists whose patrons invited them to show off their work.

You loved nights like this that showed off the side of Rome you loved. The art and those who supported it in full bloom. Like your Emperor had predicted, glances rippled through the crowd as your appearance become known.

You felt Commodus' hand on your side tighten. You were sure by the time the night was through you'd have his handprint tattooed on your skin.

You loved Commodus for many reasons, one of which is how he doesn't try to pull you away from your thoughts and into the relatively dull conversations he has to politely endure thanks to his role as Emperor. Instead he just glances at you adoringly and supplements your responses whenever absolutely necessary. If there’s a conversation he knows would interest you, he knows how to gain your attention. Meanwhile you let yourself be swept from conversation to conversation by Commodus' guiding arm as you marvel at the colors, smells, tastes, and art of the evening.

You get lost often in the feeling of the night air on your skin and Commodus' warm palm pressing into you. Every now and then, Commodus will press a glass of sweet wine to your lips for you to taste. More often, he will press a morsel of meat, cheese, or fruit to your lips. When he does, you're sure to lick and suck the pads of his fingers. This always causes him to close his eyes in bliss, but the noises he makes have become progressively more needy.

First he barely even let out a sigh but that was hours ago. By now he's practically moaning at every occasion. He's torn between not feeding you anymore, so as to save himself this torture. But he's an addict. Not just for the feel of your lips, but the delightful noises of pleasure you make, the way your eyes shine just for him. So he continues, and he thanks the gods his armored waist hides how you are making him feel–not that his moans are that cryptic.

You could feel the tension in him building as the night went on and were eager to reach the end of it too, knowing Commodus was the best lover after a long period of denial. The longer the better as something inside Commodus snapped and his primal nature was given full reign.

You could see the lanterns dimming and guests making their goodbyes. With each one Commodus grew more and more tense. As Emperor, he could do as he liked, but you'd persuaded him that it might be a nice gesture to see each guest out. He was now regretting his agreement to do so.

Commodus was a live wire and you absorbed all that energy, which manifested in you giggled brightly and running your nails up his neck into his hair. When the last guest has said their goodbye, Commodus practically carried you back to your shared bedchamber.

He growled a terse order at your guards that no one was to enter. He would never leave you unprotected. The guards would remain outside your doors. As a couple, you were far from shy and your safety was priority anyway.

Entering the chamber, he dropped you heavily on the bed. He stood at the foot of the four-poster looking down at you like a wild animal that had been denied his prey one too many times. "Now. Since you've seen fit to taunt me endlessly with that divine mouth of yours, I think it's only fit to return the favour–wouldn't you agree?"

Stay tuned for part two ;)

[momentofmemory]

FICTOBER 2020 - day twenty-five

Prompt #25: “Sometimes you can even see.”

Fandom: The Old Guard

Characters: Nile Freeman, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani

Words: 1937

Author’s Note: In the aftermath of a rough mission and all the philosophical questions it entails, Joe takes Nile to the Aarhus Art Museum in Denmark. All pieces mentioned were displayed in the Objects of Wonder: From Pedestal to Interaction exhibit, which ran from Oct. 2019- March 2020. Nile POV.

>> the sweetness remains

Nile scrolls mindlessly through Pinterest, wishing for not the first time that she’d been allowed to recreate her socials.

Copley had barred her from practically all of the actually useful ones, but she’d bullied him down to just having an account on Pinterest, with the argument being that no one cared about the site. Granted, she doesn’t really want to be on Pinterest either, but sometimes the comfort of an app with infinite scroll is all she’s looking for in a distraction.

And right now, she really, really needs to be distracted.

Overly photoshopped cat pics.

Memes ripped straight from tumblr or twitter.

The most white girl aesthetic imaginable.

Three slugs ripping through her abdomen and spitting her liver out the other side—

Nile breathes in sharply. Exhales.

Her thumb resumes scrolling.

Photos of downtown that feel like home.

Recipes for harvest butternut squash soup.

Tips for keeping braids fresh longer.

Nile scrolls, and scrolls, and breathes.

Her abdomen still aches every time her lungs expand, even though she knows it really doesn’t. It’s perfectly healed; not even a scar for her troubles. But it’s hard to forget how her instincts had screamed that a gut shot like that shouldn’t be survivable, even as she pushed herself towards the next target.

(She didn’t survive it.)

(She didn’t survive the next half dozen times it happened, either.)

“Did that phone of yours do something to offend you?”

“Whoa!” Joe’s sudden appearance next to her only makes her clench her phone tighter. She forces out a laugh and eases the tension out of her fingers. “Feel like you should know better than to sneak up on someone that’s part of a bunch of immortal warriors.”

“Most of them would have caught me coming long before you did.”

Nile snorts. She scrolls a few more seconds, then closes the app and opens Temple Run. The game’s ridiculously old, but she’s a millennial. Sue her for being nostalgic.

She can feel Joe watching her as she starts the round.

“Am I correct in thinking you enjoy the arts, Nile?”

It’s not the question she was expecting, and she winds up tilting the screen to the left a half second late, and her character falls off the bridge.

It’s okay though, because she can just use a gem and respawn in the same place, so it’s basically like not dying at all.

Right?

“Uh, yeah,” she says. She winds up restarting the round entirely. “The military was supposed to pay for my degree, but I don’t think I can cash that if I’m technically KIA.”

“That would present a certain set of problems,” Joe agrees. “Andy talk to you about that?”

“Yeah.” Nile’s stomach twists. “Guess it depends on how easy it is to schedule classes between firefights.”

She’s practically laying the opening for a talk out herself, but Joe seems uninterested in taking it.

Instead, he shifts beside her, propping an elbow on his knee. “What kinds of art did you want to specialize in?”

She dies again. This time, she begrudgingly uses the in-game save. "I prefer classic sculpture, but I’m not against modern.”

“You like what was modern art for me, then.”

Nile rolls her eyes. “I dread the day I become as weird as you guys.”

He laughs, patting her on the shoulder as he stands. “I suspect by that time you’ll be too busy tormenting our next recruit. But unfortunately, the exhibit we’re going to will be more in the contemporary style.”

It takes Nile a half second to register his words. “Wait, what?”

“The description said it would be 1960s to the present only. If it suits you, we could hold off on our discussion of it for another thousand years or so. I’m sure we can claim it as classic at that point.”

“What?” Nile locks her phone and zeros her attention on him, registering the mischievous glint in his eyes this time. “Museum?”

“The Aarhus Art Museum has a special exhibit on loan from the Tate Modern at the moment.” He glances down at her phone, the corner of his mouth forming a grin. “I’m told its purpose is to help move its audience’s attention from their devices.”

Nile scowls and looks back down at her phone. “I died a dozen times yesterday. I’m allowed my coping mechanisms of choice.”

And.

Whoops.

“Of course you are,” Joe says, offering his hand to her, and she’s once again surprised he doesn’t force the conversation. “But phones are portable. You can take it with you to the museum.”

Nile worries at the edge of her lip with her teeth. She doesn’t really want to go anywhere right now, but…

But Joe’s brown eyes are warm and welcoming, and his callouses help steady her when she takes his hand.

“You said contemporary sculpture?”

The grin he gives her is blinding. “For now.”

_________________

It’s a twenty-five minute drive from their safe house to the museum, and the route takes them next to the Bay of Aarhus for most of it.

Nile stares out at the water, determined to not give Joe any more ammunition for making fun of her regarding her phone.

It’s hard. She’d never considered herself a technology addict—never had enough time to be one—but she really, really wants to stop thinking about the fact that she knows what the inside of her liver looks like.

Or did look like, she guesses.

Nope, nuh-uh, not going there—

“D'you know about the Ship of Theseus?” She spits it out before she can decide against it. She figures if she’s thinking about it, she might as well talk about it. “And don’t say you were there for it. You’re not Andy and I at least know enough about you to know when you’re lying.”

The grin on his face tells her that he was very much intending to before she called him out on it. “It’s a thought experiment. The character Theseus owns a ship that, over a long span of time, has all of its parts replaced, until nothing of the original still remains.”

“Yeah, and so then the question is, is it even the same ship,” Nile finishes.

Joe weaves in and out of traffic, a pensive look on his face. “I assume you aren’t asking simply to test my knowledge of early western philosophy.”

“No.”

Nile looks down at her hands. She can still remember how horrifically mangled they were from her impromptu dive off a skyscraper, but at least—at least she’s pretty sure they’re the same ones she had before.

Though that might not last long.

“In your opinion,” she says, cautiously, “if—if there’s nothing left of the original—if you have to rebuild something that many times—”

“Nile.” The sound of the car’s turn signal distracts her spiraling thoughts. Joe nods towards the windshield. “We’re here.”

It’s a large, red brick square building, fairly nondescript but for the circular and multi-colored glass walking track at its top.

“Come on, he says, parking the car. “I find physical objects superior to mental ones for solving such issues.”

Nile doesn’t understand why the one time she wants to talk about something like this is the one time Joe decides to go full mysterious.

She climbs out of the car and follows him inside.

Despite her misgivings, she quickly discovers Joe was right. The exhibit is genuinely incredible, and there are pieces from multiple names she recognizes—Anish Kapoor, Donald Judd, Rasheed Araeen—and pieces she finds herself strangely moved by, such as Damian Hirst’s Away from the Flock, Richard Long’s Red Slate Circle, Rachel Whiteread’s Airbed II. Nile stares at that last one in particular for a long time: a concrete casting of an airbed, the artist’s presence made known in the negative space where her body had pressed the material down.

Joe, however, seems to be moving with a specific purpose in mind, and it’s not until they round one of the walls of the orange-pink room that Nile has a guess as to what it is.

In the far corner, bathed in the additional light of a single fill light, is a massive pile of multicolored cellophane wrapped hard candies.

Joe walks her over to it, an almost reverence to his steps.

“Untitled: Portrait of Ross in LA,” he says. “Are you familiar with the piece?”

She shakes her head, bending down to inspect it. It doesn’t look like much more than what she’d seen from a distance—candy, multicolored, on the floor. She looks to Joe for an explanation.

“Felix Gonzalez-Torres’s partner died from AIDS,” Joe says. The grief on his face is hard to look at. “To honor him, he made this as a portrait—one hundred and seventy-five pounds of candy, representing Ross’s weight from when he was still healthy.”

Nile looks at the pile—it’s a lot, but it’s not a hundred and seventy-five pounds worth of a lot.

Joe notices her confusion and smiles. “Take one.”

“What?”

“Take one,” he repeats. “The purpose of the work is to invite you to partake in both enjoying his presence and lamenting the lack of it. A sort of communion—choosing to take part of his body into your own. It was a powerful statement when so many were afraid to even be in our presence at the time.”

Nile looks at the pile again, and just like with Airbed II, her heart aches at what isn’t there, rather than what is. She selects a red piece and brings it out of the pile, cupping it in her hand and considering its weight.

“What happens when it runs out?”

Joe selects his own piece—a green one—and it rolls around in the palm of his hand. “It has. Many times. But that’s the beauty of it—it’s the curator’s responsibility to replenish the pile, metaphorically granting immortality and new life to the loss.”

The cellophane crinkles in Nile’s hand as she unwraps the piece. “How do they decide where to get the candy from?”

“The only firm rule is the original weight. Outside of that, there are no set instructions for the candies themselves.” He chuckles, threading his fingers behind his neck and leaning back against the wall. “Sometimes you can even see these strange combinations of greens, oranges, and purples.”

Nile considers the candy. “Not your favorite?”

“It has an almost Halloween quality to it. I tend to prefer the rainbow.”

The candy in her hand feels heavier than it did before—weighed down with the knowledge of what it represents, what it’s taking away.

She slips the candy into her mouth and her eyebrows raise in surprise. “It’s sweet?”

“It’s candy,” Joe says, unwrapping his own piece. “Did you expect something else?”

“I thought it’d be…” She pauses, trying to parse out her feelings. “Bitter. Or sad, somehow. Considering.”

“It could have been,” Joe agrees. “But the portrait isn’t meant to represent just grief and loss. Candy is a happy thing—a reward for yourself, or a lover’s gift on Valentine’s. And even when it’s gone, the sweetness remains. Still lingering on the tongue, or dwelling in the mind. It is the love of friends and partners that keeps the memory alive—and what keeps this the same portrait, even though its pieces have been cycled through many times.”

The candy melts away on her tongue, and she closes her eyes in grief for its loss, appreciation for what it was, and hope for the pieces that would come after it.

She swallows the last piece of it down.

Her stomach settles.

[masked-buffoon]

Chapter 13: Filled emptiness (Part 5)

Warnings: addiction (+ withdrawal), mentions of assault, mentions of murder

Author notes: and here is the last part of the chapter...! I really hoped you liked it and that there was no drop in quality compared to the previous ones... That’s honestly my greatest fear about chapter 13... (and having Dazai OOC too...) For the moment, see you in the next chapter, which, hopefully, will come out soon! Thank you all for your support!

"He was deaf-mute?" Dazai asked.

Unable to calm down, even after going back to the Armed Detective Agency and spending an afternoon to type the report, I had decided to spend the evening with him, despite having my own place. My time at the police station had been so stressful that the entire box of morphine substitute had been emptied throughout the rest of the day.

"Yes…! And those idiots did not even notice it…" I groaned, angrily frying vegetables in the pan.

Uemura-san had sent me a text with a new recipe, and I had suggested to my friend to cook for him, for a change. Without much enthusiasm, he had accepted, even if it meant giving up on crab for a meal.

"Policemen these days are so unreliable~" He noted "But I can't believe that would make you so flustered~"

"... One of them dared me to read his mind…" I muttered, blushing again "I… It was disgusting, really…"

I shivered, suddenly feeling cold, and images of the man who had bought me five years ago flashed in my mind. I regained consciousness just before dropping my chopsticks, and shook my head. Nothing had happened… There was no reason for me to be scared of a man I could crush with a single punch, anyway…

"Ogawa? Are you alright?" He inquired, noticing my silence.

"Yes!" I hastily replied "I'm fine, it's nothing. I had a hard day, and I kinda miss morphine… The aftereffects of my therapy, I suppose."

"... I see."

I could easily see that he had guessed my concerns, and, perhaps innerly, I wished he would insist more, show me he really did care, somehow… Instead, I put on my brightest smile and lied, saying I was alright. I could not fool him, then why did he not ask me again, tell me that he knew, and that I should just talk to him…? No, if I really wanted to talk, I should just do so, anyway… It was not his fault. He was actually being considerate by not pushing the matter further. I should be grateful… Yet…

A wave of nausea hit me, and I rushed to the bathroom, feeling unable to hold it in. I ended up throwing up violently, my entire body shaking. That was different from when I was suffering from my ability. I could tell that this nausea had purely been provoked by the lack of morphine. I was craving it, unused not to have the familiar product circulating in my veins. Moreover…

"Are you alright, Ogawa…?"

I heard him lean onto the doorframe. He was there, watching, and I felt ashamed to give him such an unsightly show. I thought I could even cry in embarrassment.

"I'm…" I paused, spasming "I'm fine… Just…"

I threw up again.

"... The therapy… I crave… Morphine…"

"I know…"

Was that all…? He knew…? Then what…? I bit the inside of my cheeks. I could not let myself be influenced by the Fox's words. He was my friend, I knew him better than the informer ever would…

"Do you know what would do you some good?" He asked, coming closer to hold my hair back for me.

"... What would…?" I questioned after vomiting yet again.

"A warm bath." He smiled and patted my back slightly "I'll pour one for you."

"W-Will you…?" I tried to face him.

"Sure, why not? Oh, by the way, I turned the fire off. Your vegetables would have burnt otherwise~"

"Thank you, Dazai…" I cracked a smile "Thank you…"

"H-Hey, what are you — Ogawa…" He sighed "Crying again, aren't you…?"

"N-No, that's…" I sniffed "Mood swings… They're an aftereffect… Too…"

"Mmh, of course. An aftereffect…"

As promised, Dazai poured me a warm bath, before leaving the bathroom to give me some privacy. The water felt agreeable against my bare skin, and I soaked myself entirely in it, finally able to relax after that tiresome day. How could I have shown such a shameful part of myself? Although mood swings really were part of the withdrawal syndrome I was suffering from, I could not use them as an excuse to justify my weird behaviour.

"Ogawa, are you sleeping?" My friend's voice echoed from behind the door.

"Who sleeps in a bath?" I retorted playfully.

"At least, you seem a lot better."

I heard him slump against the door. He was most certainly sitting there, without saying a word.

"Dazai… Are you alright…?" I asked him.

"I am. But you should worry about yourself a bit more… I'm not the one suffering from withdrawal." He said.

"No, but you're still grieving your friend. You haven't been to work for two days. Kunikida has most likely given up." I giggled "I am just concerned about you…"

"You mustn't be." He told me, rather curtly "I cannot return that concern properly, anyway…"

I sighed.

"How much have you heard from my talk with the Fox?"

His silence followed, and I understood he had been aware of most parts of our discussion. I shifted in the water to lean on the edge, facing the door.

"Then, you must know I disagreed with him."

"You did… But I know all of that. I know I'm turned towards Odasaku and that I tend to overlook matters about you… I know I'm not an ideal friend, despite being the one asking you to stay by my side… And you… You comply with each of my whims, going as far as putting your own health aside…" He almost murmured by the end.

"That's because I do care about you." I smiled, although he could not see it "Besides, you gave me your coat, that morning. You always give me your coat when I feel bad…"

I paused, chuckling at the memories.

"Even when you were still my abusive superior, you had given me your coat to protect me from the rain, the day I had killed my parents…"

"I remember…" He chuckled, too "I even thought, at the moment, that you looked small, frail, and weak… You had nothing to do with a murderer."

"Frail and weak…? Despite all of my efforts to look tough…? I'm disappointed…!" I pouted.

"Well, that's also the reason why you're often… Taken advantage of." He sighed.

"Men are gross creatures." I huffed "I can't count the number of times I've been looked down at, or assaulted. I'm used to it, now. But reading that pig's thoughts took me aback, I have to admit it…"

"I could easily guess that. What amazes me, though, is the fact that, despite that, you're taking a bath at my place without a second of hesitation." He noted.

"That's because you're my friend. You've seen me in all sorts of situations, I know I can trust you. Am I wrong to do so~?"

"Well, I'm flattered." He sounded amused.

"Why, despite surely fooling around and acting as a womaniser, I know you're not perverted."

The water had cooled down, which was my signal to come out of my bath. With a towel, I dried myself, before reaching for my clothes. They were gone.

"Dazai, what did you do with my things?"

"Yosano-sensei came by earlier, looking for you~ I told you though, that you had drifted off in the bath~" He laughed "She asked me to, as she said, "burn the rags you use to cover yourself"... Pretty harsh, if you want my opinion~"

"Is she serious…? Really, now…!" I groaned "I suppose she brought over my new set of clothes…"

"Well… Not at all. She just demanded me to lend you a shirt for tonight, but she expects you to wear her gift~"

"For goodness' sake…"

My eyes fell onto the shirt he had put nearby. I had first thought that he had forgotten his there, but it turned out he had left it on purpose in the bathroom… I sighed.

His shirt was too big for me, as predicted, but it was vexing to notice it was covering a large part of my body. Was I, indeed, so small and frail…?

"Thanks…" I told him when I went out of the bathroom.

"No need to." He smiled "Do you want to keep working on your vegetables?"

I had completely forgotten about the dinner I was supposed to prepare.

"It's a bit late, but… Do you want to try it out?"

"I already promised I would." He sat down at the table.

"Then, I hope you won't regret it~ It can't be worse than the hard tofu you made, anyway…" I remembered "Sakaguchi-san hated it, and Odasaku was trying to be as polite as possible…!"

"It was a piece of art…!" He defended.

"It was a blunt weapon, Dazai… In fact, we couldn't even taste it." I giggled, putting a plate in front of him.

"Thanks~ Well, that tofu could have been a secret weapon of the Port Mafia… Imagine, killing enemies by throwing tofu on them…~!"

"That would have ruined our reputation…!" I laughed.

I believed the vegetables were cooked enough, perhaps even too much, for they had lost their crunchiness. Or was it because I had been away too long…? Next time, I would have to be more mindful of that… And perhaps I should add more salt…

"By the way…" Dazai said "You're leaving for Hokkaido?"

"Ah, yes…!" I realised I had not told him about it "The Fox requested my help as a detective."

"I see… That's good. Moreover, since it's summer, it won't be cold."

"That's right… It will be my first time leaving Yokohama…! I'm a bit excited about it…"

"Will it be alright, with your therapy?"

"It will. Don't worry about —"

I paused. Yosano-sensei had advised me against staying alone while receiving treatment for my addiction. I had an idea.

"Dazai… Won't you come with me to Hokkaido?" I suggested.

The smile which enlightened his face warmed my heart at the same time, and I knew I had made the right choice by asking him. His sincerity was a rare sight to witness… It was not a wrong path to walk down, making him happy, after all.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

I have a silly Napoleon ask for you: if he suddenly woke up in the present day what do you think he would a)like most about it b) like least about it c)get unreasonably addicted to d)decide to do for a living

hahah I’ve answered a similar one before here and here. 

Most Like About It: A lot, I think. Central heating. Guys, he’d fucking love central heating.

In general, he’d love most technological advances. Cars, planes, trains etc. like he’d be very into that. “Bertrand we’re going to ride the TGV all day every day. Look at how fast we are going! This is genius.” 

“Bertrand WE ARE IN THE SKY. This is AMAZING. We are going from Paris to Rome in a matter of HOURS. HOURS BERTRAND. WE DON’T HAVE TO CROSS MOUNTAINS.” (sorry just assuming this is exile Napoleon who woke up in modern day.) 

Public transit in general - the metro, buses - anything that makes life more efficient for people. Dishwasher, washers/dryers, modern electricity, laptops, printers, ball point pens etc. 

I suspect he’d be a big supporter of public health care and all the advances made on vaccines and medicine in general. 100% would hate anti-vaxxers. Pro-modern glasses (he’d get himself a pair asap. Then they’d explain contacts to him and I think he’d be like “WAIT NO, I WANT THOSE.” He would not be into lasik, I suspect). 

Modern hygiene! Razors, tooth brushes, floss, moisturizer - general daily body care he’d probably be keen on. (All that stuff we take for granted.) Though maybe not all of it, he was quite traditional in certain things (his penchant for older fashion, par exemple). Maybe he’d keep the old straight razor shaving approach. But modern dentistry would be a huge improvement and I can’t see him being against it. Especially as someone who had a tooth extracted in the early 19th century. 

‘Oh they give you pain killers now? Fantastic.’ 

‘Sir, we just numb the area where we are doing the work.’ 

‘So it doesn’t impede my awareness? Amazing. Please, fix all my teeth right now.’ 

He’d also support the greater access to education that exists, especially compared to his day. Also, streaming services. He would binge so many things. ‘Bertrand we are watching every thing this very soothing sounding British naturalist made about planet earth. Holy shit look at that they’re under water! They’re at the bottom of the ocean! Bertrand look at this. if only Josephine were here. She’d be so excited.’ 

Pro-zoom/Microsoft teams/facetime etc. 100%. ‘If I had this instead of people relying on my bad handwriting ...’ 

Oh, he’d like the EU as a concept. Except he would be very disappointed that France wasn’t at the helm. I think France’s position globally would disappoint him, overall. But yeah, the broad principles espoused by the concept of the European Union would appeal to him. 

Brexit though. Lol. I think he’d enjoy watching England shoot itself in the foot. But if you asked him for his opinion, as in “do you think the UK should do this” he would answer no. They should remain. 

He would like globalization, trade agreements, things like NAFTA, CETA etc. Supporter of big government. Reduction of religion in public sphere. Though would he be pro-banning visual manifestations of faith? (i.e. Hijab etc.) I don’t know. I doubt it. Simply because he was very focused on religion in government, so if churches aren’t involved in decision making, what citizens get up to on their own is their business (so long as you don’t cause problems). But I don’t know, he might be pro-it, because he was also into assimilation and creating a broad sense of a French culture. I could see him really going either way on it. It’d probably come down to whatever he thought would garner the most public support as a political move (since a lot of his more liberal moves as a leader were tied to understanding that marginalized communities would gun hard for him if he helped them). 

He would be pro-mask wearing for COVID because he wasn’t a fucking idiot and lived in a time when pandemics were still a real going concern. 

He would also probably like how comfortable modern clothing is. I don’t think he’d like how cheap and made-to-wear-out that most brands are, but he’d like the over all philosophy. Like Napoleon would dig t-shirts. Lounge wear. The fact that jeans have some stretch in them. That sort of thing. 

-- 

Least Like: I think he’d be very wary of the internet. For many reasons. For the lack of government control (Napoleon “What is a free press? never heard of her” Bonaparte). But also, because of the misinformation problems. The side effects many of us are now bearing witness to, and experiencing the ramifications of. 

He would dislike the whole fake news nonsense. Oh this man was a master spin-doctor, very good at twisting a narrative around to suit him, but he still did have respect for and a firm belief in basic facts. Especially fake news that usurped the sound advise of scientists and doctors (i.e. COVID nonsense). 

Free press, I think he would be wary of it. Mostly from a government control perspective. Like as a day-to-day citizen, since he wouldn’t be anyone in power in this hypothetical, I think he’d value it. He would do that disassocative thing he did when he talked about things in the abstract. That cold, calculating way he would position himself in a situation and be like “Ah yes, these are the things that need to be tamped down if you want control of a populace as a monarch”. Then he had his more liberal, call-back-to-that-misspent-jacobin-youth moments where his views shifted. 

I suppose it would also depend what age this hypothetical Napoleon is. He softened a lot in retirement exile. Napoleon at the height of his power, thirty-odd years old, different man to fifty year old Napoleon. 

Would not be into women in politics. He’d be like ‘Why is there a woman in charge of Germany? Also what happened to the Habsburgs? Where’s Prussia? Silesia? What the FuCk is happening in the Balkans? I’m very confused about Europe’s current geographic layout. ...Corsica...still doing you, I see.’ 

He’d dislike Trump and his cronies. As I wrote before: “ I think Napoleon would find Trump disgusting on a personal level. Uneducated, incapable of holding a real conversation, gauche, anti-intellectual, anti-fact-based discussion, anti-science, anti-art etc. He’d also feel that Trump is disgracing the position of President and that he is unworthy of leadership. Napoleon would also find Trump physically repulsive as he could be a wee bit shallow in some of his assessments (though, very early modern to 19th century to assume your physical appearance is a manifestation of your interiority).” 

Steve Bannon’s fiddling with finances? Napoleon would find that repulsive. Mitch Mcconnell disgracing his office by fucking around with constitutional loop holes? Napoleon would think it a disgrace. 

He had a lot of respect for America’s experiment with democracy. Like, quite a lot of respect. So I think he’d be vastly disappointed in not only the person occupying the white house, but also a lot of the apathy in voting that is going around. (Yes, this coming from a [mostly] absolutest monarch, too.) But Napoleon valued and respected the notion of civic duty. If you live in a democracy, you have a duty to participate. To opt out is to shirk that duty which he would find insulting and distasteful. Because, I would argue, he was very much a believer in people doing right by their fellow citizens. 

--

Get unreasonably addicted to: MODERN BATHS. HE WOULD NEVER LEAVE THE BATHTUB. THEY CAN HAVE JETS AND EVERYTHING BERTRAND THIS IS GREAT. 

Also central heating. Saunas. Jacuzzis. He was like a wee lizard seeking warmth at all times. 

I think he’d be into driving. I don’t know if he would be good at it. Don’t let Napoleon take the wheel, guys. But if someone else was driving he’d be that person “go faster. you’re driving like my grandmother.” And gods, he’d do dumb shit like drive like a maniac around the arc de triumph six times in a row because he’s an adrenaline junkie and a risk-taker (it’s that bored ADD brain of his). The autobahn would be his dream. 

I think he’d be super into epic fantasy series. Like the big sweeping ones like Lord of the Rings. I think less so GRRM because GRRM is unrealistic and Napoleon is pedantic. Especially about politics and war. Exhibit A: consider Napoleon’s very detailed nitpicking of Virgil on his inaccurate rendition of Troy from a military perspective. Therefore, I suspect GRRM’s lack of accuracy in how society works, how war works, how politics works, all the plot holes and illogical character decisions, would drive him up the wall. Napoleon liked Homer because he could tell Homer had been to war. And you can tell Tolkien has been to war. Also LOTR hits all those notes of high-hearted emotion and big sweeping scenes that Napoleon so liked in Ossian and the Illiad etc.

All this to say, overall, as a genre, I think those big, sweeping fantasies with lots of plot, politics, intrigue, soaring battles, great heights of emotion - he’d love that. It would hit all of his buttons for what he liked in fiction. Lots of emotion, lots of action, lots of big scenes, lots of crazy shenanigans. This can also be applied to Sci-fi. I think he’d be a big nerd on that too. But the science would have to make sense. 

I think he’d be into Star Trek, particularly Picard, if only for the philosophical aspects of it. He liked those sorts of questions and hypotheticals. So I think he’d binge all of The Next Generation (among other seasons). 

--

Do for a living: Teach? God knows. This is Napoleon from 18-something who just woke up? He could be paid for consultant work for historians and film crews and the like, I guess. Just to tell them how accurate stuff is. Of course, be wary, this is Napoleon I Am A Spin Doctor Bonaparte. 

I think he could lean into writing histories - particularly the classics, early French and European history - that sort of thing, where he already has a strong background in it and it wouldn’t require him basically learning an entirely new trade. Like, will Napoleon ever fully be a natural with computers and cell phones? Probably not. Could he be like your old school Professor emeritus who still churns out papers and does 90% of it the old fashioned by-hand way? Yes. And Napoleon had a bunch of histories planned on St. Helena that he wanted to write, so I think he could do that. 

As this is literally Napoleon Bonaparte he’d get a book deal in seconds. There’d be a bidding war over it. 

--

Thank you for the ask! This was very amusing :D 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #343

“i slither like a viper and get you by the neck  /  i know a thousand ways to help you forget about her”

What's your favorite kind of bear? I don't really know. I just like bears. Have you ever sent a FWD because you were afraid? Ha, yup, as a little kid. Would you ever date more than one person at a time? Nooooo sir. Have you ever rebounded... or been someone's rebound? No. What’s the biggest argument you’ve ever had with a family member? Did things ever go back to how they were beforehand? My grandmother cursed me the fuuuuck out one night as a kid because I was in a mood and didn't tell my mother goodnight. I still remember being called an ungrateful bitch with her like an inch from my face, and admittedly, I was being rude because I wanted to go home, but it kinda scarred me for life. For the remainder of her life, I was always sort of on edge around her and was convinced she didn't like me. Have you ever experienced some kind of natural disaster? I've been through lots of hurricanes. None that massively affected my life, though. If you have pets, do you feed them human food or do they just get regular pet food? If they do get human food, what’s their favorite thing to have? Venus is a snake, so she obviously doesn't get food meant for humans. Roman is very well-trained to not beg or make a move for people's food; he tried once as a kitten, and giving him a pop taught him right away. Have you ever been in a physical fight? Who won? No. What’s the mode of transport that you take or use the most? The car. Mom's, specifically. Have you ever had a zoo keeper experience or anything where you’ve been able to go behind the scenes and look after/feed the animals? No, but I wish. :( Would you ever want the responsibility of being a politician or a similar position of power? NOOOOOOO. What’s something your parents do that really annoys you? Mom is *always* right, pretty much indisputably. And she WILL have the last word. Dad, meanwhile, can be pretty rude to people. I don't think he realizes it half the time, but still. It's not an excuse. What is your main source of anxiety? Social interactions. What’s your favorite 90s cartoon? Pokemon. Describe the moment you realized you were falling in love with someone. I'd rather not. What’s your favorite sparkling water brand/flavor? I've never tried sparkling water. What’s your favorite makeup brand/brands? I don't have a favorite, considering I don't wear it nearly enough and have never even bought my own. I just use whatever Mom buys. What are some female names you would name a baby? Alessandra is my favorite for sure. I also love Anneliese, Justine, Evelyn, Chloe, Evangeline, Quinn... There's a lot. What about male? Severin is my favorite, and I also like Damien, Vincent, Victor, and Luther. Do you have any subscription boxes? No. What fictional creature would you like as a pet? I want a dragon, goddammit. Idc if it can breathe fire ok I want a dragon. Ewoks are also the one and only thing I enjoy from Star Wars. What kind of dwelling do you live in? Just a one-story house. Is there anyone you work with that you don't get along with? Why? N/A Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? PLEASE adopt, especially with cats and dogs, given the number of strays. Purebreds tend to have so many underlying issues, and besides, it's just a LOT of money for an animal that probably wouldn't outlive a mutt. Don't feed the machine if you can. What's your favorite chain restaurant? The Cheesecake Factory or Olive Garden. Why were you last pulled over? I’ve never been pulled over before. What was the last thing you've done on the water? Just kinda swam around a bit in the ocean. It was so warm, totally like a bath. I do NOT miss that sun poisoning, though. Are you cool with swimming in a lake? I think I'd do it if someone invited me to, and the lake didn't look filthy, of course. Do you have a drone? No. What's your favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant? We have this tiny, local Mexican place that's really good. I don't know the name of it, and I wouldn't share it for obvious reasons. What do you order from there? Chips and salsa of course, along with a shrimp and cheese quesadilla, and finally their cheesy rice. What's your favorite ice-cream flavor? Depending on my mood, it bounces between vanilla with chocolate syrup or just plain chocolate. Do you have any t-shirts from any local businesses? No. Do you listen to any talk shows or podcasts? I used to listen to Mark, Bob, and Wade's podcast, but I'm like... ten months behind, haha. What's something someone calls you that you find endearing? I like "love" a lot. What's your favorite children's book? I loved books like The Rainbow Fish, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Stellaluna, 10 Minutes 'til Midnight, What Makes a Rainbow?, Chrysanthemum, etc. Is there a new season for a series you're excited to come out? Meerkat Manor comes back this summer, and I am fucking HYPED. How old are you? I'm 25. What is something unique you enjoy about the one you like/love? I tease her about it all the time, but it's really cute that she keeps all of her snakes' good sheds in her room. Proud reptile mom. Are you more liberal or conservative? I'm close to the middle, but I lean towards being more liberal, and I seem to go more that way with time. Do you watch American Horror Story? I used to. I saw the entire first season and really liked it, and then I almost finished the second, but I lost interest. The story got a bit stupid imo. I'd be willing to watch other seasons, though. Does your hometown have any urban legends/scary stories? None that I’m aware of. The people there are scary enough. What's the scariest nightmare you remember having? Let's not talk about it. Are you medicated? Uh very. Are there any apps you're addicted to? Nah. Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? It was initially a bunny holding a polka-dotted blanket, then it become a moose I got from Cabela's when in Ohio. Do you still collect stuffed animals? Only meerkat ones. Have you ever stolen/borrowed clothes from an ex? Haha I've worn Jason's pj pants before and they just kinda... became mine, lol. What's the last movie you watched at home? The Shining, I believe. What's the last movie you watched in theaters? The CGI remake of The Lion King. I still don't get why it was received so badly. Have you ever had eggs cooked over a campfire? I don't think so, no. If you do drink, what's your favorite alcoholic beverage? Margaritas, generally. However, Sara's dad made me this absofuckinglutely incredible chocolate drink before that tasted like a milkshake. It had like, no alcohol flavor, which worked out well for me considering I very much dislike that taste. Are there any songs you've been listening to repetitively lately? There's a new one every day lately, haha. Today it's Halocene's cover of "Love Bites (So Do I)." Cereal, granola, or oatmeal? Cereal. What TV shows did you grow up watching? You gotta gimme an age group... but I'd say the typical stuff for kids of that time. What does your phone case look like? It's just a boring purple that came with it. What were your favorite toys to play with as a child? I looooved playing with my "family" of a father crocodile, a mother deer, their two "children" (a fawn and smaller croc), and "friends" that were little Pokemon figurines. Then there was an evil t-rex with two stupid sidekicks, haha. I can't remember what dinosaurs they were. What's the most embarrassing thing you can ever remember doing? Hold on, lemme find my book. Do you remember what you dreamt about last night? I only very faintly recall dreaming about my cat Roman. Have you ever done anything embarrassing in a dream? Thank FUCK they're just dreams. Do you vape? Nah. What was a song you loved as a child? So uh. Apparently. I loved "Dookie" by Green Day. It's an undying story from Mom about how it came on once at a putt-putt place and I apparently started yelling "dookie!" and dancing. Do you enjoy the Arctic Monkeys? Yeah, I love some of their songs. Are you going to see Finding Dory? You bet your sweet ass I saw it. I've cried everytime I've watched it. Have you ever been horseback-riding? I have not, but I would love to. When was your last piercing? Whenever I got my tragus done, which I can't remember. What did your first crush look like? I don't remember my puppydog love first crush, but I can talk about my first REAL crush, Sebastian. He's a skinny dude with short, brown hair and a lip piercing... I can't remember which kind. He dressed in an emo style, and Facebook pictures at least suggest he still kind of does, I think. Is your body more curvy or flat? Well, I'm not at all skinny, so... What's your least favorite holiday? Probably Christopher Colombus Day, honestly. You didn't discover shit. Don't pretend to me it's worth celebrating in a clean conscience. if you’re having a boring day what do you usually do? If I'm rock-bottom bored, quite honestly, I normally nap, even though I know I shouldn't. Do you turn to food when you're upset? Ugh, I'm admittedly an emotional eater. I got way better about it, and then I started up again. Is your bf/gf good with your parents? I don't have an s/o. Do you think soda should be served at school? Vending machines are fine I suppose, as I don't believe they should be free seeing as they're nothing but sugar content, and I feel schools shouldn't just hand that out to kids at lunch or something. Do dogs have feelings? They sure do. Are you afraid of snakes? Oh no! I adore them. I respect snakes and am going to give wild ones their space for sure considering I don't recognize every native venomous one, but nevertheless, I'm not afraid of them. They are so vital to the ecosystem and are incredibly fascinating animals that deserve our protection. On that note, PLEASE do not kill any snake you come across in your shed or whatever. Call someone to relocate the terrified thing. Favorite snack? It depends on what I'm in the mood for, really. Ever seen The Notebook? Read the book, seen the movie plenty of times. Do you think cussing is trashy? No. Who is the most famous person you’ve met, if any? Nobody. Do you own any animals that aren’t domestic? No. Have you ever feared that you would lose a body part? No. Do you like gore? Yeah, generally. Do you like to drink water? Ugh, I really don't. I wish I did. Have you ever had a wax? I used to get my eyebrows waxed. Do you have any sets of matching bras and underwear? No. Are you any good at improv? Not at ALL.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

DOTW 49 - Start

Eren was beginning to think he would never stop throwing up. Apparently he fell into the unfortunate category of people who still experienced it after their first trimester, and he wasn't loving it. Between the vomiting and tenderness in his tiny budding breasts, all he wanted was Levi. With the pregnancy progressing well, and his tender throat not quite as bad as it had been, he'd finally convinced his boyfriend to see about returning to work. The only problem was that the moment Levi had left the apartment, he'd started throwing up. If he called Levi to let him know, his alpha would come rushing home, and his loneliness wasn't worth that. Levi needed to be out there helping people. Especially now that they seemed to be avoiding Hanji and Erwin. Hanji had invited them out for lunch, as dinner had been cut short. Thanks to his obvious nerves, Levi had said no, without even asking for his input. Sure, his swell had grown a little, what with now being 16 weeks and all, but he could still hide his frame beneath one of Levi's bigger jackets or a loose hoody. Since coming home, he'd felt like he had a second or even third chance. He didn't want to have any more regrets, and he knew he'd regret things between him and Hanji if things continued this way. He hadn't struggled so hard for everything to fall apart. Trapped on the bathroom until mid-afternoon, he crawled back into bed with a groan. Curling around Levi's pillow, his thoughts were still on how to fix things with Hanji. Reaching for his phone, he felt his nose drip. Ugh. Vomiting through his nose was even worse than vomiting through his mouth. Not wanting to mess Levi's pillow up, he opened the top drawer of the bedside table, sticking his hand in and blindly feeling for the tissues. Feeling a small box, he frowned as he sat up. His curiosity getting the better of him as he leaned over to peer inside the drawer. Sitting there was a small gold and black box. His heart started to race. He was no expert when it came to jewellery boxes, but it was far too small to be for a watch or bracelet, and the wrong shape. With a shaking hand, he lifted it out, popping it open with a gasp. The ring inside was gorgeous. Set inside a gold band, there was a neat row of four diamonds, with a slightly larger emerald in the middle. It... he didn't have the words. He knew he shouldn't have looked. Snapping the box closed, he threw it into the drawer and slammed it shut. Scrambling to hide himself under their blankets in an attempt to hide from the ring. He shouldn't have looked. Levi hadn't mentioned marriage... not in a little while... so... why was there a ring, right there?!? Was it even for him? Was Levi going to propose? Why? When? And how?! Was it because he was pregnant? With the issues of his dormant omega, he'd rather be marked... Fuck. Did he really just think that? If Levi was going to propose, that meant he wanted to be with him. Giggling with giddiness, he rolled into his stomach and screamed into his pillow with happiness. Levi was all he could ever want and need. He wanted to be his, in whatever shape and form possible... He was already carrying their pup. Their lives would be forever intertwined by that. Rolling back to his side, he mentally apologised to his pup. His hand rubbing at his swell, as his dick began to harden. Fuck. He'd been exhausted, now he was fucking exhausted and horny. He and Levi were having sex daily, sometimes two or three times during the night and it still wasn't enough to satisfy him. His alpha's knot felt so fucking good, his body not only flooded with bliss from his orgasm, but a feeling of love and safety that was dangerously addictive... and if Levi married... Fuck. He could live with that. Levi had seen every inch of his body, and he still loved him. He especially seemed to love his forming stomach. His boyfriend would wriggle down and sleep with his ear against it, or if he slept in Levi's arms, Levi would spend hours nuzzling his neck and gently caressing the swell, even as he slept. He loved the feeling of Levi's fingers across his stomach. No matter how crappy he felt, a warm sensation would bloom wherever his love touched, settling and soothing his distress over everything. He knew not all alphas were this kind to their omega, and he knew that despite the look of constipation on his face, Levi cared deeply. He never thought working as a stripper in a less than great club would lead to him meeting the love of his life. He would literally kill anyone who threatened to hurt his alpha, and anyone who threatened their pup... He'd made a promise to himself to escape the hold of the "The Church" no matter what, but... would Levi still love him... if he knew he killed someone? Would he still want to marry someone like him? * Trying to get his job back was harder than getting it the first time around. Despite being absent for only 3 months, he was expected to retrain. This meant a hell of a of wasted hours in his opinion. He knew his job inside and out... and not to brag, but keeping him on the sidelines would result in needless death. He was good at his job. He knew what the fuck he had to do, and made it happen. The kicker was that they expected to spend all of Saturday training, when he'd already made mental plans with Eren. Sure, his omega had no idea about them, but that didn't make him feel better about shuffling around their date. There was a festival in the city for the erection of the new Ferris wheel there. Personally, he didn't see the appeal of them, but Eren would love it. Since coming home from Hanji's, Eren had been trying to hide how upset he was over everything. His boyfriend had finally opened up over the conversation he'd had with her, and about how shit it'd made him feel. Right now, they were both avoiding her... because Levi honestly wasn't sure he wouldn't yell at her over off hand comments. She might not have meant to make Eren feel stupid, but she had and his boyfriend was suffering through enough. His nightmares had come back in full force since Floch left. His fucking morning sickness hadn't calmed. Everyday a new smell seemed to upset his stomach. It was fucking hard to watch him go through that. He was so fucking proud of his brat though. Eren kept moving forward. He didn't let the little things stop him. Which was why he was confused as he opened the door to their apartment. His boyfriend was wailing in distress. Titan came flying from the sofa, trying to climb up his leg in an attempt to ask "Why is my human broke?". Lifting Titan up, Levi closed and locked the door. Depositing Titan back on the sofa, he strode to their bedroom. Sprawled across their bed, seemed to be the entire contents of Hanji's "sex" box, that she'd gifted Eren. Eren was sitting in the corner of the bed where his pillows usually lived. Pausing to make sure Eren hadn't been assaulted by anything on the bed, he nearly smacked himself at his own idiotic thought. Pausing again to take his boots off, he climbed up onto the bed, and over to his sobbing lover "Eren?" Flinging himself on him, Levi caught him with ease. Pulling him into his lap, he eyed the impressive pool of slick that covered what seemed to be a quarter of their bed. The sweet smell was mouth watering, his dick throbbing in interest... but making sure Eren was alright came first "Eren?" Sniffling, Eren wiped at his face, making an effort to calm back down for him "I missed you" "You're crying because you missed me?" "I'm sorry "Brat, you're the only person in the world who would cry because they missed me" "Levi... would you still love me... if I did something bad?" "Eren, there's nothing in the world that would keep me from loving you. If you did something bad, you only did it because you had to. I know you. I know how you work. Whatever it was, you're the one who suffers the most because of it" "Even if it's really... really bad?" "I love you. And when you're ready, we'll talk about it. But for now, do you want to tell me why our bed is covered in toys?" Eren let out a groan, covering his face with his hands as he mumbled "I got horny" It didn't take a genius to figure that out. Not with the copious amount of slick wasted across their sheets "I can see... did you have fun without me?" "N-no... I couldn't... it felt wrong" Levi sighed softly "There's nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all" "Why... am I like this? My mind won't shut up... I feel so confused" "Remember. I told you they gave you a suppressant. For someone who hasn't had their omega suppressed for over a decade, your mind's a little lost. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you" "I feel stupid and weak" "You're definitely neither of those things. Here, let's get you cleaned up. I'll make something to eat and we can take a bath together?" "You're... you're so good to me" "Because you mean the world to me. Hold on tight" Carrying Eren through to the bathroom, Levi sat him on the counter so he could turn the bath taps on. Stripping off his slick coated pants, he stifled the groan that rose from freeing his half hard dick. Even if his priorities were on Eren's physical wellbeing, there was no way he couldn't help but react to that much slick. Mewing behind him, he turned to see Eren sliding his hand down between his thighs as he wriggled. Moving to stand in front of his omega, he lifted Eren's right leg up, forcing him to hook it around his waist as he claimed his boyfriend's wet lips. He fucking loved how horny Eren had become. It fed his pride to know his boyfriend wanted him as much as he did. With the flood of hormones and need for reassurance, his lover had become so much more open over his own sexuality. Once never felt like enough, and quite often it escalated into twice or three times before Eren finally calmed. His alpha would give their omega and their pup the world on a silver platter if it could. Breaking the kiss, Levi cupped Eren's left cheek, his thumb wiping away the drying tear marks as he pressed his forehead to his omega's "You're so fucking perfect. How the fuck did I ever get so lucky?" Eren have a hiccup-snort, his left leg finally wrapping around Levi's waist "I'm the lucky one. I love you. I love you so much, Levi. You and this pup, and this apartment and Titan. You... you make me so happy" Nuzzling him affectionately, Levi breath caught. His throat feeling tight from the rush of emotions he felt every time Eren told him he loved him. He wanted to shower Eren in praise and throw himself at his feet in worship. Backing off enough to take Eren by the hips, his boyfriend nodded at him. Instead of fucking him, Levi went straight for Eren's swollen nipples. His body blooming beautifully with pregnancy. Latching onto his right nipple, Levi worked the bud into a hard peak, alternating between sucking and gently biting. Eren loved his breasts being worked, he knew how much they pained him, but he also knew that with the right attention that pain turned to pleasure. Pulling off, he looked up. Eren's eyes hooded and darkened with pleasure. His mouth slightly parted as he panted. Fuck. If he could wake up with this omega by his side for the rest of his life... he die the happiest man alive. Kissing open mouth kisses, he moved to lavish Eren's left nipple with the same attention as the right. Eren grabbing a fist full of hair as he mewed sweetly. Taking his time to work his way down, he paid extra attention to Eren's swell. Nuzzling and kissing at the bump that he loved so much. In the last two weeks, it seemed to have doubled in size, and he found himself unable to get enough of it. Even when they slept, he always had one hand across it, protecting his pup from whatever would be. Both he and Eren had had pretty shitty childhoods, and he was determined his pup would have every single happiness. Having teased his way down, he took a deep breath of Eren's musky scent, almost buried beneath the scent of his slick. His omega's dick was as red and angry as his own, small beads of precum dribbling from the slit. There wasn't a single person in the world that could ignore such a sight. Sliding his lips over the head, he moaned at sweet and salty taste coating his tongue. With hollowed cheeks, he worked just the tip, Eren rocking up in an attempt for more. They'd never really discussed exploring more in the bedroom, which wasn't to say Levi was unhappy in slightest... he just wanted more. He wanted absolutely everything his omega could give him. Now however, wasn't the time to be thinking about if his boyfriend would be up for the possibility of role reversal. Giving Eren the power in the bedroom might be just what his younger lover needed. To see that pleasure in all its forms was there to be enjoyed. Whining at him in annoyance, Eren continued to rock. Loosing the suction he was applying, Levi relaxed, sinking down and taking Eren's whole length into his mouth. Eager for release, Eren gripped his hair and held him there as he fucked Levi's mouth. The grip was solid enough to tell him what he wanted, without being constraining enough that he couldn't pull back if he needed. Even in times like this, Eren was again putting him first. With half a dozen thrusts, Eren moaned, his seed spilling down Levi's throat, as Levi tried to drink down every drop without choking. He still had a mouthful of cum as Eren slumped back. Swallowing it down, he pulled off and kissed his lover's inner thighs. He didn't imagine the position his omega had ended up in was too comfortable, but the view was perfect. Slick had puddled under Eren, and with a firm tug on his hips, his leaking opening was exposed. The rim fluttering with each stream of slick running free. Fuck. Snarling, he buried his face between Eren's legs again. Almost frenzied as he drank the slick down. He couldn't think about anything other than how right it felt. In the back of his mind, his alpha was roaring at him to bond with Eren completely, trying to get him to tilt his neck in submission, while all Levi wanted to do was eat his boyfriend out. Between his legs dick had curved hard enough for precum to smear his own treasure trail, dribbling down into his neatly trimmed pubes. He wanted so desperately to flip Eren over and fuck him senseless, but that would mean having to stop drinking him down. He could only growl at his own conflict. Feeling Eren's hands grip his hair, he growled again as he was pulled away from Eren's opening. Looking up to his omega, slick dribbled down his chin, from where his lips were saturated in it "Need you... inside" Surging up, he hefted Eren off the counter, pushing him up against the closed bathroom door as he shoved into his heat. He was too far gone to think about how the counter was pretty much the perfect height for fucking Eren on. Whining, Eren's long legs tightened again him. His lips seeking his as he tried to fuck himself on Levi's dick. He couldn't stop himself, Eren if he'd wanted to. Eren was his whole life and he didn't want to play the responsible adult any longer. His lover wasn't a fucking child. He'd been to hell and back and now they both deserved some fucking happiness. Breaking the kiss to bare his neck, Eren didn't think twice as he bit, Levi knot popping unexpectedly, a snarl torn form him as he was overwhelmed, pulling Eren back from the door, he bit just as hard into Eren's neck. His omega whining against him, as cum landed in small pulses against his stomach. His. Eren was fucking his. His omega and his mate. It might have been out of order. He might have been planning to propose before bonding, but he was so fucking drunk on slick, he felt giddy and almost like he was presenting for the first time. Never in his life had things been this perfect. Never had known this kind of happiness or thought that he'd ever have just the thinnest sliver for himself. It didn't matter what Eren said or did. He'd always be on his side and by his side. Sliding his teeth from Eren's flesh, he lapped at the blood oozing from the bite site. He could feel Eren mirroring his moves, while behind them their came the sound of rushing water. He'd fucking forgot all about the bath. Swearing under his breath, Eren laughed softly "The bath..." "The bathroom's about to get flooded" Abandoning the door completely, Levi walked backwards while Eren giggled and clung to him. Stepping into the bath, he found it not too bad. Eren squeaked and tried to escape, while Levi awkwardly lowered them both down, and sent water sloshing everywhere. Leaning over his shoulder, Eren turned the taps off, before hiding his face against Levi's shoulder. Still laughing as he did "Are you alright?" "We forgot about the bath..." "That we did... is that why you're laughing?" "I'm laughing because I'm so fucking happy... I can't stop" Poking Eren in the ribs, his own shook his head "Nooo... don't you dare tickle me" "I wasn't going to... but if you insist" His omega's happiness was infectious. Tickling Eren's sides, he found himself laughing just as stupidly as his boyfriend... No. As stupidly as his mate. Ceasing his assault, he claimed Eren's lips, his boyfriend breathy as he laughed into his mouth "Stop laughing so I can kiss you properly" That and each time Eren laughed, he'd clench and rippled around Levi's dick... which felt fucking amazing. Pressing his lips to Levi's, his brat finally kissed him properly. Soft and sweet, Eren's lingering giggles melted into a moan. A shy blush on his cheeks as the kiss ended "I missed you today" "I noticed. I have to jump through all these shitty hoops to get cleared to return to the field. So it seems like I won't be home much" "It's ok. I mean. I understand" "At this point, I'm wondering if it's even worth going back" The splash of water to the face he received came out of nowhere "Oi!" "You're going back to work. I don't care what you say" "Even if it means leaving you here, alone?" "Levi, you need this in your life. You need to be with your friends and you need space from me. And every time you come home, we're going to be right here, waiting for you" "But what about you? Won't you be lonely" "Even if I am, you're coming home" Taking Levi's face in his hands, Eren smiled softly "I love you. So much, Levi. I did so many bad things... but all I wanted was to come back home to you" He didn't like the way Eren's lips turned down and sadness flooded him. They'd just bonded, it wasn't a time for sadness "Whatever you did, I want to know. I love you" "I... I think I k... can't talk about this yet" Eren was definitely going to say something else, before stopping himself with a slight shake of his head "That's alright. Beside, I've got a better plan for tonight, that doesn't involve much talking at all" "Mmmm... as long as you remembered you promised to cook" "You're hungry?" Leaning in, Eren whispered against his lips "The taste of my slick on your lips makes me want something sweet" Shit. Fuck. He needed more of his omega. Rolling his hips, Eren let out a gasp "Fuck..." "What was that about something sweet?" Eren whined, grinding down against him as Levi started to rock his hips. His knot was still firmly inside his omega, but Eren was intoxicating. Moaning, he arched back, his words coming out in a long moaned sting "Sex. Food and sex, but sex first" "What was that?" "Sex... I want your knot... I want you to fuck me and fill me. I want a whole fucking litter of your pups" Levi growled, rising to his feet, his omega barely had time to register what was happening. Trying to walk on wet tiles was bad enough, but trying to walk on wet tiles with his knot firmly stuck in Eren's arse... he should have been awarded a medal for his performance. Making it across to the bathroom door, and then getting them into their bedroom without slipping. He was quite proud of his skills. Eren wanted to be bred, he might not be able to breed him again, but he wasn't about to say no to practicing. The morning light stung at his tired eyes. Eren was purring up a storm on top of him, he had been transfixed by his mate's sleeping face and unable to close his eyes in fear that it had all been a dream. They hadn't made off the bed, both acting like newly presented idiots who didn't know how to do anything but fuck, desperate to reconfirm their love. Eren was so perfect. Mewing and moaning his name over and over, so beautiful and perfect as he took him deep inside. The waves of pleasure had turned to fatigue, Eren falling asleep on him shortly before the sun had started to rise, with Levi still knotted inside him. He didn't even mind the drool on his shoulder, and couldn't be fucked dealing with their ruined sheets. He couldn't wait until Saturday... he wanted to wake Eren up and propose to him right there... but... fuck. He'd intended to propose before bonding. He wanted to know how Eren felt being his fiancé with the promise of forever. Now they were bonded for forever... was it stupid to go ahead and propose? Especially so soon after bonding? He didn't know what how these things were supposed to go. At the time, it'd felt so incredibly right to bond with him, and happiness Eren had shown him had been amazing. The happiness felt being connected to his omega... there was nothing like it... But had it been the right thing to do? When Eren woke, would he still be just as happy from their bonding? Feeling for his phone, Levi scrunched his face. He had less than he'd expected and he needed to shower... He didn't want to disturb Eren, he didn't want to disturb him and risk rejection... Fuck. Time was a cruel thing. No matter how hard you prayed for a moment to last, time always came along and swept it away.

[toomanysurveys9]

1. What was on your mind mostly today?

i thought mostly about wyatt and my upcoming surgery.

2. If someone looked on your bed, what would they find?

a pillow and blanket.. and a jacket.

3. What’s on your schedule for tomorrow?

i don’t have any plans that i’m aware of.

4. Are you nice to everyone?

for the most part. but if you give me reason not to be, i am not.

5. Is it possible to be single and happy?

it is. i know plenty of people who are.

6. Is it easy for people to make you cry?

it’s definitely not hard most of the time.

7. Did you sleep alone last night?

no. i slept with jacob and wy, as i do pretty much every night.

8. Do you play with dead bugs?

that’s gross. no.

9. Honestly, are you dating two people?

no.

10. Do you think things will change in the next 3 months?

some things, yes.

11. Have you ever slept in the same bed with someone other than family?  

i’ve shared beds with friends when i was a lot younger.

12. Do you want to see somebody right now?

i’m good actually.

13. What if you had a baby with the person you like?

i have a baby with the person i love. and he is the best baby in the world.

14. Are you happy?

for the most part, i am okay at least.

15. Have you ever tripped in public?

yeah. many times. it’s so embarrassing.

16. Is there anyone who doesn’t like you?

there are numerous people that don’t like me. i just don’t care.

17. Have you ever sat in the back of a police car?

no. i’ve rode in the front of one though.

18. Are you stubborn?

i can be.

19. Do you tend to hold a grudge?

i can sometimes i guess.

20. What’s a fact about the last person that texted you?  

his favorite past time lately is working on his night of destruction truck for this coming saturday.

21. Has anyone called you perfect before?

not really.

22. Where is the biggest scar on your body?

my elbow.

23. Have you ever been told you were amazing?

i think so but he was a liar so...

24. Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?

no, i would not.

25. Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment?

nope. no reason to avoid liking him since we’re married.

26. Do you trust all your friends?

not really.

27. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

yeah, probably. but it’s alright.. things are okay i guess..

28. What pissed you off today?

nothing comes to mind. however, if jacob wakes wyatt up because he’s being noisy with the truck for no reason, i might get a little upset. poor baby hasn’t really taken any naps today.

29. What was the last thing you cried about?

life being stressful.

30. Who was the last girl you talked to?

my mom.

31. Do you know anyone who drinks a lot?

on occasion.

32. Who sits next to you in English?

not in school.

33. Ever talked to someone who was drunk?

many times.

34. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

not that i recall, but i don’t remember much of the music i heard today.

35. How late did you stay up last night and why?

we were in bed by like 10ish. everyone was tired.

36. Do you know how to properly use grammar in a sentence?  

i do.

37. Are your parents very protective of you?

yeah. they used to be really bad about it, but they’re still pretty protective..

38. Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months?

yes, unless he gets tired of me.

39. How many drugs are in your system?  

none.

40. The person who hurt you the most calls and needs you, do you go?

probably not.

41. Is it easy to pretend everything’s okay for you?

sometimes. depends how bad things are...

42. Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to on the phone?

someday, yeah.

43. Do you think you are a good person?

i try to be, but not really...

44. What do you want right this second?

i don’t know. i’m okay right now. nothing comes to mind.

45. Do you think it makes him weak if a guy cries?

of course not. anyone who does think that is ridiculous.

46. Have you ever cried cause you were so mad?

yeah. it’s not a common thing, but it has happened.

47. Could you last in a relationship for over a year?  

obviously. i’ve been with jacob over nine.

48. Who were you with on your birthday?

my parents, my brother, two of my sisters, jacob, and wyatt. :)

49. Have you ever crawled through a window?

a long time ago, yes. got locked out of the house.

50. First person to talk to you in 2014?

i don’t know. either jacob or someone else in my family.

51. Do you miss your past?

bits and pieces, but i really like my present state with wy.

52. It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it?

i don’t know. maybe my mom? i don’t know anyone who would call me at 4 am unless something was wrong...

53. Do you have anything interesting planned for the next week?

going to watch jacob race in the night of destruction on saturday, which is his 24th birthday. i’m terrified. i’ve seen so many bad wrecks and cars flipping over, and he’s going to be in a little truck.

54. Who was the last person to text you? Do you know when that person’s birthday is?

jacob. september 24th.

55. What were you doing 4 hours ago?

i was at my mom’s house, just hanging out with wy and my sisters.

56. Is there a certain song that you can’t stop listening to atm?

not really.

57. Tell me 3 things that your friends don’t know about you.

i’m not sure there is anything that someone doesn’t know...

58. What is something that people often give to you as a gift?

money/gift cards. movies or books.

59. Do you tend to hold on to a lot of stuff you don’t need, just because it has sentimental value?

yeah... jacob hates it.

60. What is something that reminds you of your ex?

prison. ha.

61. Has the last person you kissed ever cried in your arms?

last person i kissed was wyatt (my son). he’s only 6 months old, so yeah.

62. Which would you prefer to receive as a gift - flowers or chocolate?

probably flowers. i don’t eat chocolate that much.

63. When did you last take a shower/bath? Do you wash your hair every time?

it’s been a few nights. and yes, i do.

64. Would you prefer to be somewhere else right now?

no.. i’m okay right here.

65. Do any of your followers on Tumblr have your phone number?

nope.

66. Will you be going out tonight, or staying in?

staying in. same as pretty much every night.

67. How many times have you been in love?

once really.

68. If you were heartbroken, who would help you pick up the pieces?

i don’t know. i guess my mom probably.

69. Apparently, it’s very common to crave chocolate around the ‘time of the month’; do you ever get that craving?

occasionally.

70. How would you feel about dating someone who had a reputation for being a player in the past? Do you think that players will ALWAYS be players, or is it possible that they can change?

as long as they’ve grown up and are no longer a player, i wouldn’t have an issue. the saying “once a player, always a player” isn’t true in my opinion. people CAN change.

71. Did you sleep well last night?

i was up several times with wy.

72. Is your bedroom big enough for you?

i think so. i just wish it was more clean. i don’t want to do it by myself though.

72. Are you looking forward to seeing someone soon?

no one comes to mind...

73. Ever had a one-night stand?

nope. that’s never been my thing.

74. Is anyone flirting with you?

nope.

75. Have you ever felt pressure to do anything you didn’t want to, like smoking, drinking, or losing your virginity, before you were ready for it? If so, how did you deal with that?

people have pressured me to drink, and i did. people have pressured me to do drugs, and i haven’t. technically, i didn’t choose to lose my virginity.

76. Do you consider yourself to be an intelligent person? Why/why not?

average intelligence, but sure. i’m just fairly smart...

77. Who would you most like to be stuck in a lift with?

wyatt and jacob. i would be going crazy if wyatt wasn’t with me.

78. Is there anyone you’d HATE to be stuck in a lift with?

there’s a lot of people in that list.

79. When did you last talk to the person you love/like? What did you talk about?

like... an hour and half ago or so.. we talked about his truck.

80. Have you ever seen your father cry?

i have. it’s horrible.

81. How would your parents react if you got pregnant?

i think they’d be shocked since wy just turned 6 months old, but they would be happy and excited. they like being grandparents.

82. Do you/did you keep to your school’s uniform/dress code?

i did.

83. If the last person you kissed said you were the only one they wanted, would you believe them?

we’re going to go with the last person i kissed romantically, which would be jacob, and i hope i’m the only one he wants.

84. What was the highlight of your summer?

wyatt. taking him swimming and on all sorts of other fun adventures.

85. The last time you threw up, was it because you were hungover?

i think so....

86. Have you ever seen the film ‘Wake Wood’? What did you think of it?

i’ve never even heard of it, so no.

87. Are you confused about anything atm? Is there anything bothering you? Or, is everything good?

life has a lot of rough spots right now. so it’s kind of confusing and bothersome. but there’s still a lot of good things too.

88. If you say ‘I’ve had enough’ or ‘I’m done’, do you always mean it?

not always but usually.

89. Who was the last person that invited you to their house?

my mom.

90. Have your parents ever told you about any alternative names they considered for you, or the name they would have chosen, if you’d turned out to be a boy?

not really. if i were a boy, my mom thinks i would be named my brother’s name, which is jonathan michael.

91. Are you friends with any of your exes?

nope.

92. Have you ever had to make an emergency phone call?

yeah. when my brother was being especially horrible to my parents when i was 16/17 years old.

93. If you’re in a relationship, how is it going? If you’re single, are you looking for someone?

it’s okay for the most part... we kind of got into it the other day though... but we’re better...

94. What language do you like the sound of?

french i guess.

95. Think about the last guy, outside of family, that you had a conversation with. Do you find him sexy?

okay, jacob is technically my family now, because we’re married and we have started our own family... so i never know how to answer these questions. i’m just going to go with jacob though, and say yes.

96. What do you think is an assumption that someone could make about you, just by looking at your Tumblr? Would this assumption be correct?

if they looked at my tumblr that isn’t surveys, they’d probably be concerned about my well-being. if they looked at this one... i don’t know what they’d think.

97. What’s the most attractive physical feature of the person you love/like?

i love his eyes. they’re brown and wonderful.

98. Do you consider yourself to be a strong person? Why/why not?

not really. i try to be, but emotionally i’m not the most stable.

99. Tell me about a special moment you’ve had with the person you love/like.

getting married. having our baby boy.

100. What are you doing tomorrow?

no clue.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #190

“i haven’t slept since i woke up.”

Do you prefer your nails long or short? Why? Short. It's annoying how long ones tap when I type and such. Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? Cool as shit. What are your thoughts on gun control? Don't outlaw them, but make them much harder to obtain. Have you ever had an exotic pet? Do snakes and lizards count? Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? Yes. What kind of socks do you prefer to wear? (Crew, ankle, knee, etc) Idk, the normal ones. Are you friends with anybody you didn’t like at first? I'm dating her lmao. What is your favorite thing to do on The Sims? Don't play it. Have you dyed your hair more than once (and different colors)? Yup. Which hair color you’ve had has been your favorite? Red or purple. Your favorite place to be aside from your home? Sara's house. If you were stupid-rich, would you ever actually want a mansion? Omg no. Did you ever sit alone at lunch in school? I did that a lot. Did random people come sit with you to try to be nice? I don't believe so. Do you know anybody who puts ketchup on their mac n cheese? Probably, and they need to be arrested. What is your least favorite beverage? Out of everything I've ever tasted, some kind of white wine. Any old home remedies you use when you’re sick? The classic sipping on ginger ale. When was the last time you wore a full face of makeup? Forever ago for a picture. Do you own an iPad? No. What’s the most hours you’ve worked in a week? N/A Do you believe in karma? No. What’s an achievement you hope to see humanity accomplish in your lifetime? See great improvement in the health of the ozone and see the work put towards conservation beginning to show well. Do you have a difficult time relating to other’s emotions? NOPE. Have you ever bathed in a river or a lake? No. Have you ever had a dream in which you died? Yes. What was your favorite school subject when you were in middle school? Science. Do you wish vampires existed? um no the fuck At the moment what is your favorite song? I'm on a "Stressed Out" by TOP thing. Have you ever been pantsed? No. Do you keep up with pop culture? No. Did you ever like barbies? Do you currently like barbies? Not especially, but I played with them if my sis or friends wanted to. I've no interest in them now. What turns you off in the opposite sex? Everyone fancies the opposing sex??????????? That's news to me. But whatever, arrogance, for one. What kind of gum do you chew most often? Your favorite flavor? Probably uh... really idk. I don't buy it and will just take what someone offers. My fave flavor is watermelon or strawberry. What’s your favorite hit song right now? I have noooo clue what's hot rn. Well, I heard "High Hopes" by P!atD on the radio not too long ago, which I adore. Do you ever ask random questions to see people’s reactions? No. Do you like to people watch? Not particularly. Are you a very patient type of person? NO. NO. N-O. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. What’s your favorite element? (fire, water, air) Fireee. Do you have a Zwinky? IMVU? No. Have you ever had a Neopets? Yesssss, my computer addiction began there lmao. When you were younger didn’t you just love Pokemon? ADDICT. Do you currently love Pokemon? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Have you ever been to a wild party? No. How many friends do you have on Myspace? Hell if I know. Are you one of those people who get car sick? No. Have you ever gotten sea sick? No, but I've never been out on the ocean for long. Do you put on a robe when it’s cold? Don't have one. Has anyone ever told you that you & your significant other could be siblings? Have they ever assumed you were siblings? Mom's called us twins like a million times. Idk if anyone's assumed that. Have you ever attempted origami? Are you good at it? Do you enjoy it? What’s your favorite origami to make? No. Are you more likely to like someone before you really know them, or do you feel you like them more after you know a lot about them? Hmmmm, I suppose this depends on what I learn about the person. Do you buy people cards on special occasions, or do you prefer to make your own? WELP I don't make my own money and tbh I'm too much of a lazy shit to make them. Don’t you hate when people say that you & them should get together, but they don’t even make the effort to? I can't speak here, I do it too. Social anxiety holds me back from trying to plan things. Where on your body was the last cramp you had? Why did you have this cramp? Uhhhh probably my lower abdomen because female with a sadly operating uterus. Do you get embarrassed when people hear you sing/compliment you on your singing ability? If so, why is that? YES. Idk why. Do you own one of those singing fish? Do you think they are silly or funny? No, but they make me chuckle now bc of that video of a broken one channeling Satan. Have you ever caught someone stealing from you? Did you confront them? No. When was the last time you prepared extensively for something? Did your preparation pay off? Ha, first trip to Sara's... I WAY overpacked. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher/professor? Did you act on your feelings? No. Have you ever experienced culture shock? Not seriously. Going to Illinois, Chicago in specific, was incredibly different for me, but I wouldn't classify it as "shock." How did you discover your greatest passion? Y'know I'm not even totally sure what my greatest one is. Do you believe that all art is political? No????? Have you ever had a conversation with a cab driver? Never even been in a cab. Do you have any shirts from vacation/tourist locations? Not anymore. Do you know anyone who has never read the HP books? Who? *cautiously raises hand* Do you ever visit your mall’s arcade (if it has one)? Doesn't have one. Our mall is literal shit. If you lost the use of your limbs, would you still want to live? NOPE please fucking kill me. Not even an exaggeration. What’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss? M-M-M-Mark. :') Though odds are I'd be shy talking about him because I am quite obviously not just a "yeah he's cool" fan okay I get self-conscious. What is your least favorite topic to discuss? Economics. What is your opinion on psychics? Real, or fake? Fake. How would you rank your “class participation” in school? Normal? I asked questions if I really needed help, I'd sometimes answer questions or help read aloud, stuff like that. Have you ever cut your own hair? How about anyone else’s? No to both. What is the last thing you asked your parents to purchase for you? Fast food lunch. What is your favorite kind of lunch meat? Ham. Have you ever been confined to a wheelchair? No, thankfully. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? N/A Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? Very few things. Were your parents born in the same country they now live in? Yes. How many living grandparents do you still have? One. Have you ever heard people having sex in the next room? Yes, or at least pretty sure. Have you ever been on a strict diet and exercise regime? Diet, no, but I stuck to a serious exercise plan during one summer. Do you have a favorite author? No. How long do you usually take in the shower? Not even ten minutes. Get my shit done and get out. Have you ever worked in an office? No. What is your favorite way to eat rice? Fried. Have you ever been in serious trouble at work or school? No. Have you ever kissed anyone under the mistletoe? Yes. What’s one unusual little thing that you really enjoy? Uhhhh. What’s the biggest bruise you’ve ever had? Not sure. Is there anything that people always tell you that you should do? Become an artist or publish writings. Have you ever broken up with someone and then regretted it later? No. What’s the background picture on your phone? Do you change it a lot? Lock screen is meerkat pups cuddling, home screen is Sara kissing my cheek. :') Have you ever taken someone back, who ended up just hurting you again? Not in a romantic sense. How do you feel about shaved pubes? No opinion. Can young people fall in love? If not, why not? Absolutely, I did. What’s your opinion on masturbation? Do it if you so feel the need, but not at all for me. Those experiences are exclusive to me and my partner. What is your favorite Queen song? ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM obviously "Bohemian Rhapsody"??????????????? Have you ever “spoken” to any celebrities via Twitter? No. Do you eat cereal bars? No. Do you know any immigrants? Off the top of my head, only an illegal family. Have you ever lived in university or college accommodation before? No. If you haven’t already, are you scared of leaving home? If you have, do you like it? I'm both nervous but keen to. Do you know how to look after yourself away from home? (budget, pay bills, feed yourself, cook, clean, do laundry etc.) ^ this is why I'm nervous lmao. If you could only eat one vegetable for a year (not including potatoes) what would it be? Broccoli. Do you have a certain routine in the bath or shower? What is it? Shave, wash hair, use my facial scrub, and then body wash. Do you prefer chicken burgers or beef burgers? Beef. Would you ever eat kangaroo steak? No. What’s the weirdest meat you’ve ever eaten? Nothing too odd. Is there a chalkboard or whiteboard anywhere in your house? There's a whiteboard in the kitchen. Do you like dried fruit at all? What’s your favorite type? NO. Who lives across the street from you? Nobody; there's a field there. When you were in college, where was the coolest place to hang out? N/A Who did you go to prom with? Jason. What was your first vehicle’s name? Never had my own car, wouldn't name it either. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? Dylan. I thought he was cool and funny and at that age found him god-tier hot lmao. What do you think you cook or bake the best? Just scrambled eggs. Have you considered running for president? Definitely not. How old is the most expired item in your fridge? Idk??? If I was aware something in there was expired, I'd throw it out. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard? "Hurt." Johnny Cash's cover absolutely ramps up the emotional aura to it tenfold. How about the sweetest song? "Here For You" by Ozzy Osbourne. How many bones have you broken? None. Have you ever won anything? Big or small? Yeah. Small things, but I consider the SH:R things to be pretty damn big personally. If you could buy one material thing, and money was not an issue, what would it be? Front row tickets for Mom to Metallica. Concert is the end of this month, and after seeing her lose her fucking mind in ecstatic tears upon finding out they were coming, I'm legitimately depressed for her that we're missing it. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Sashimi. What’s the best way to comfort you when you’re having a really terrible day? Watch some of my favorite Mark videos, listen to the SOTC or SH2 soundtracks, bring me my favorite Reese's bar, ha. Has anything/anyone ever saved your life before? Yes. Jason first, then the partial hospitalization program as a whole, Mom, and two of my medications. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? Hm. I guess a vibrator lmao. What is the most important memory you have and why? Realizing I could live *happily* without Jason. Obvious why that's important. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? Shane Dawson is my Dad. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? To certain people. Are you embarrassed by your school yearbook photos? I literally only remember liking one lmao. Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? Mom and Dad both. Do you think dimples are cute? YEAH What’s something you used to collect when you were younger? Stickers, then to a less degree seashells. At one point of your life, have you been obsessed with dinosaurs or robots? I was craaaaaaaazy about dinosaurs as a kid. I still love them. What was the last thing you cooked on the stove? Scrambled eggs back when Sara was here in June... lmao. Have you ever not canceled plans and wished you had? Probably. What is something you were scared of as a kid? Animatronics. Still not a fan. Would you rather write a story or a poem? I'll actually finish a poem. But I mean our RP is a really just a big-ass story and I write for it way more than anything. Are you moving soon? No. Do you get nervous around the opposite gender? Always. This fear of men thing's gotta go. Did you ever have a ‘security blanket’ when you were younger? Yes, a stuffed bunny hugging a little polka-dot blanket. What is your lucky charm? Don't have one. What time does your dad usually wake up in the morning? Well, I don't live with him. But he's a mailman, and if his schedule's the same as it was when my parents were together, early. Name the craziest moment of your life: I guess it depends on your definition of "crazy." But I suppose the night of the breakup when I left the house in the dead of night to walk to his house to talk as Mom wouldn't take me. It's a seven minute drive so would've taken a long time to get there, but I didn't care. Mom eventually went after me and kept cutting my path off with the car until I just collapsed sobbing. That was a fucking ordeal. I wouldn't wish that night on anyone. Do you want to travel? YES. Do you plan on having children? No. Who did you last say I love you to? Sara. Do your parents actually knock on your door before entering your room? Mom, no. Dad did. What can’t you wait for? "Can't wait," idk, but I'm looking forward to my birthday. Do you have a bad temper? No. It's hard to make me mad. What brand of digital camera do you own? Nikon. Have you ever seen a Broadway show in New York? No. Are you listening to music right now? "Angel Eyes" by New Years Day ft. Chris Motionless. When was the last time you were told you were cute? I have no clue. Have you ever wished to be an Internet celebrity? How about a ‘real’ one? No. Have you ever been kayaking? No. Do you care overly about other people? Some. What is your favorite family tradition? We don't even have any anymore, it seems. Do you make friends easily? No; I'm way, way too reserved and shy. Do you make enemies easily? Or do you not have any enemies at all? I'd like to think I don't have any. Do you think its likely that humans will go extinct in the next 1000 years? No. Eh, maybe, if we do nothing about royally fucking up the environment. If you have tattoos, how long have you had them? Uhhhh I got my first for my 18th birthday, idr how old my second is, "ohana" is like, two years old or something, my fourth is a year old, Sara's tattoo is from last June, and my latest one was a good few months ago. How old are your next-door neighbors? All I know is elderly. I've never even seen the ones on the other side of us. What did your family usually do for Easter when you were a kid? Easter egg baskets, the egg hunt, and church. What’s the largest bug you’ve ever found in your house? Omg probably this long-ass centipede that was on my door at our old house. Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? BITCH you bet I will be decked the fuck out when I have my own source of income. I never ask on Christmas or my birthday 'cuz it's embarrassing lmao. Pick a flavor: pumpkin or apple? Apple. Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? I only eat it with milk. It sucks with water. What is the best type of donut? Glazed or original. Have you ever left a note in a library book? No. What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? Night. If you go to church, what is your favorite thing about it? N/A ^and what is your least favorite thing about it? Literally almost all preachers whose services I've been to like yell. Chill. You can be passionate without screaming and scaring me. Would you ever film a YouTube video with no make-up on and messy hair? Messy hair, no, but maybe no makeup. What’s your favorite movie that you remember seeing in the theater? Silent Hill: Revelation 'cuz it was the only movie I've ever watched it 3D. Have you ever had a pet rock? HAHA YES. Do you own a bobblehead? No. What is your favorite tattoo that you’ve seen? OH MAN DON'T ASK ME THIS. I absolutely adore those by Brando Chiesa, tho. Determined to have one by him one day aaaahhhh. What is something you have too many of? T-shirts. Do you have any disabilities? No. What are five of your favorite stores at the mall? Hot Topic, Spencer's, one would be Victoria's Secret if I actually FIT IN THEY CUTE-ASS SHIT, and uh. That's like it. When was the last time you went to Michael’s? Foreeeeeeeeever ago. Ours closed years ago. What is your least favorite chore? Washing dishes. Do you organize your clothes by color? No. What was the last thing you made with your own hands? Does a drawing count?? Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader? No. What is the kindest thing you have ever done? Maybe donate a shitload of my hair to charity. I really did almost become teary-eyed when I learned it was truly used. What holiday should exist but doesn’t? It'd be nice to have a day centered around learning about mental illnesses and celebrating survivors of them more than usual, I just don't really know how. What holiday shouldn’t exist but does? Idk. I have holidays where I'm bothered that the meaning was warped, but. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? The North Pole. What do you think makes someone a hero? People looking up to you for doing genuine good. What cartoon would you like to be a character in? Pokemon. Are you a coupon clipper? Mom is for food. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be? REESE'S HUNNY What are your parents interested in? Mom: Surgeries/medical operations and bodily stuff, art, helping people (children in particular), psychology, etc. Dad: Hockey, football, golf, fishing, that kinda stuff. Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal? No. When do you feel your life energy the strongest? "Life energy?" Not too sure what that means. I guess I feel most "alive" when I'm out in nature witnessing natural beauties, like waterfalls or shooting stars, or driving through the mountains. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring? My cell phone (but keep it off unless needed), a knife, and... I'm not sure. I would say camera or book, but seeing as I'm there at night... OH. DUH. A flashlight so I wouldn't drain my phone's battery using its.