#i am also insanely proud of this batch too

[momokodaisy]

Extremely Late Umbrella Academy Textposts That Have Definitely Been Done Before (3/?) Pt1 Pt2 Pt4 Pt5

[turtle-steverogers]

she is very long so. enjoy😌

- Steve n Bucky going to the bodega down the street from their apartment. it’s open till like 4am and they go at all hours. sometimes they’ll go separately but they always go together when they go in between 12-4 am and no one who works there questions why

- they get a cat that they treat her like their child. it’s Alpine ofc😌 steve loves her so much but he knows it’s Bucky’s Cat and he’s fine with it

- you know how some siblings or partners or friends can communicate with their eyes and basically have telepathy? they totally have that and it annoys the shit out of every single person they meetjdksndks. someone will be talking to them and they will just make eye contact with each other bc it reminded them of an earlier convo they had or they both got annoyed by the other person or it reminds them of an inside joke or something and it just irritates EVERYONE. no one is able to intercept it and it’s just a thing that no matter what - even though they don’t mean to - you’ll feel a little left out when you’re with steveandbucky. it just comes with the gig. i like to imagine that depending on if it’s an au or not, its either really obvious or not. like in an au then yes it’s obvious they can have non verbal conversations, but if it’s not an au then it’s not entirely obvious bc they’re enhanced humans and they know how to hide their secret conversations. but everyone they talk to is essentially an enhanced human or has special abilities so it’s obvious to them and they catch them in the act LOL. if they’re interacting with regular people then it’s not very obvious though

- DATE NIGHT!!! yes they’re old yes they have date night. when they go out it’s usually to places in their neighborhood, but a lot of the time they like to stay in bc. they’re old men <3 steve is better at cooking and bucky is better at baking bc you can get creative with cooking and steve likes that more. he enjoys baking a lot too but he thinks bucky’s stuff tastes better. whenever they stay home though there’s ALWAYS a movie. always. they alternate choosing but there is always a movie to watch. bucky usually falls asleep nearing the end and steve plays with his hair😌 he rolls his eyes cause it happens every time but he actually likes when it happens bc he can braid strands of hair together

- pet names oh my god. so many pet names. every single one. mainly from bucky. steve uses them but maybe like two. he favors sweetie and buck and that’s it really. sometimes he uses hon. bucky though oh my god. every single pet name under the sun. so many variations of doll you wouldn’t believe - baby doll ofc, dolly, stevie doll. sweetheart. sweetness. blondie. pretty boy. hot stuff. stevie. baby. hon. honey. sunshine. angel. it’s just so many. and it’s like very sickening insane twisted etc but hot at the same time. most people are like jeez barnes do you ever shut up… but most of these people secretly think it’s a little hot theyre thinking damn where is that affection for me…. i need me a bucky barnes :| steve is the only smitten kitten outwardly even if he huffs and puffs sometimes but it’s obvious he enjoys it. like they are so annoyingjdkssn for real they aren’t a pda couple really but the petnames….. so many. so so so many it’s sickeningly sweet but bucky dgaf! steve is his sweetheart his dolly his baby his angel so he’s going to call him these things!

- steve knows his body is what is considered “perfect” but he still is insecure about it around most people and bucky knows this so when steve lounges at home in bucky’s boxer briefs and his own tee shirt or he kicks off his pants when he’s too hot at night in bed bucky is reminded of just how much steve loves him and feels comfortable around him which is something he always strives for - to make steve comfortable. not baby him because steve bitches at anyone that does that to him but to make him feel comfortable

- and on the subject of feeling comfortable i imagine that they always check in with one another but it’s very subconscious they hardly realize they do it. like steve will bitch at bucky to pick up his shoes from their doorway or to clean his hair from the shower drain but the next second he will ask him if his back still hurts from being kicked by sam and from where steve AND alpine scratched him (in very different ways)

- steve is the sweater husband and bucky is the sweatshirt husband. they trade off a lot but that’s just how their closets look

- steve takes a liking to crop tops 😌 but ONLY around the house bc again he’s really truly only comfortable around bucky. he wears em with boxer briefs or sweatpants but you can guarantee that the briefs and sweats usually just end up on the floor 9 out of 10 times

- hair ties everywhere. they can be found on the floor in the laundry in their bed in the couch on top of the fridge on their fire escape. they are literally everywhere. steve just picks them up and puts them in the bathroom but they always make their way back. he doesn’t say anything to bucky until he finds alpine chewing one and she ends up smacking herself in the face with the hairtie

- their fridge is always full with leftovers and food from sam or clint’s or whoever’s house or takeout. they always eat it all but they get and make a lot of food so the fridge is always full

- subconsciously bucky always has a hand on the back of steve’s neck. like it’s not ENTIRELY a possessive thing but he used to do it a lot when steve was small because it was easy and it was comfortable. for him and just for him and steve. it was like swinging an arm around steve’s shoulders or putting a hand on his shoulder. it was just natural and easy so he did it. a part of him back then prewar did it possessively too, but he always tampered that down bc steve wasn’t his. now he does it without shame

- steve really likes tofu and vegan meat, non dairy milk like almond and soy, and overall a lot of non dairy vegan foods, and a lot of fruits. he gets made fun of for a lot specifically about the vegan stuff but his reasoning is that there’s so much food accessible for people with allergies in the future that he wished existed a hundred years ago so he’s going to try it and stick with it if he likes it. people shut up after that

- he also tips a little more than he needs to everywhere he goes. everywhere. like it’s cool when steve rogers walks in to a restaurant bc he’s a superhero or whatever but its REALLY cool because he leaves a generous tip and that’s what really makes peoples day

- before they get legally married they are still very much married. like “i packed you lunch, meet me at the restaurant instead of me going to pick you up bc it’ll take longer, i got takeout let’s bitch together while we watch shitty reality tv, let’s bitch at EACH OTHER through the phone in public, let’s send each other ugly pictures of each other or funny texts while we’re right next to each other, i’m out with a group and you’re not there and i say multiple times ‘i miss steve/bucky’, let’s yell at each other from opposite ends of the apartment instead of getting up to see each other, steve i’m going to fuck you on the couch bc our room is too far, etc.” they are just very much married without the documents and legalities and it’s very obvious

okay all of these were ABSOLUTELY wonderful and im really going to restrain my urge to respond to each and every one but that might be futile

-okay YES they definitely go to that bodega at all hours, and usually it's for normal things when they go separately: milk, cereal, toilet paper. but when they go in the middle of the night, they almost always purchase some like odd assortment of candies and deli meat. also, they're always in their pajamas. like bucky's in plaid pj pants and a star wars sweatshirt, and steve is in like 5" shorts and a huge crewneck and they're both in slides and they definitely only speak russian to each other when they're in there after hours

-yes alpine! they also have a dog, that is more steve than bucky's!! his name is norman in my headcanon (and a couple of my fics) and he is best boy

-okay i need more of this in my general stucky life: steve and bucky being like,,, best friends as well as lovers and being so seamlessly close. like yeah, they definitely talk with their eyes, or just one glance, or half-sentences ("hey, did you ever get to--" "yup, on the way home. it was so--" "yeah, good. glad to hear") and they know exactly what the other is saying.

-yes to the date nights!!! and when they stay in to watch movies, they make Tons of popcorn. and they Have to make separate batches, because steve will Only eat his with like half a bottle of that powdered white cheddar on his

-YES we share the same fucking headcanon for petnames on god

Steve: love you, buck:)

Bucky: love you, pumpkin

-Steve definitely has body dysmorphia, probably even post serum (I have lots of thoughts on this, that might be a different post) and yeah, Bucky definitely knows its Big that he feels comfortable enough to be exposed around him (and he's even more honored that steve lets him be intimate with him, because that's really hard for steve, too)

-yeah! and easy check ins like "ur stomach still bothering you from last night?" "oh, no it was just a little bug turns out" or like "my head hurts:(" "i have meds in my bag. you want?" "yeah, just two" or like subtly checking on injuries, yeah

-yeah the sweater versus sweatshirt tracks tbh i picture steve in a lot of crewnecks so yeah

-STEVE IN CROP TOPS STEVE IN CROP TOPS and i raise you they're often ones he's cropped himself and he's also painted on! or bleach painted!! and theyre so cool and bucky never wants to make a big deal out of it, but he's so proud of steve for expressing himself like that

-ALPINE SMACKING HERSELF ALKFJALSDKFJA also steve always has a hairtie on HIS wrist in case bucky forgets one for himself

-they also always have Steve Staple Foods cuz i headcanon steve as a picky eater (adhd!steve + serum enhancements, it's down to a formula) so they have a lot of Kraft mac and cheese and easy heat up meals and lunch meats around for when he's having bad food days

-OMG and steve absolutely MELTS i raise you, too, bucky will especially hold the back of his neck when he needs to get steve to Chill Out. so like if he sees him stressing he'll put his hand on the back of his neck and squeeze and literally feel the tension drain from him or like if steve is having a panic attack, he'll hold the back of his neck while they breathe together

-yes and also any time that steve is Choosing food for himself and feeling motivated to eat it, it's a win, so people learn to back off there, too

-yes! he tips generously, but never awkwardly or offensively. he's also super kind and patient to food service workers!

-this last point is so perfect i cant. like yeah, back to steve and bucky just being,,,, the best of friends. ugly selfies galore, shoving their feet in each other's face, flicking each others ears. and yes, all the fucking gossiping. on the phone gossip, venting, fun gossip from around work. they talk about it all. and it's so great for them

thank you again for stopping by! your thoughts are impeccable!

[galvanizedfriend]

The Wolf Outtake

This is a little outtake, if you will, of The Wolf universe. It actually fits within the post-TW2 headcanons I've been writing to keep myself happy, so somewhere in S3. It's something that would never fit within the actual story because it's pure domestic fluff. lol I wrote this for @recyclingss, baby Eve's number one fan who yells at me when the child doesn't make an appearance and who’s also the biggest cheerleader this story’s ever had. 💖

This is set much later in the future, and you will notice baby Eve is actually more of toddler Eve here, but I've removed any specific context to make it so this would fit into any point of The Wolf post S2E14, I guess.

Summary: Just random KC+baby moment in The Wolf. It's fluffy, domestic, features the child and Klaus' bitter feelings for Bayou wolves. Nobody asked for it, but I figured, after the WEEK we've all had, maybe people could use some fluff? Hope you guys enjoy it! :)

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Klaus doesn't even realize it's morning already until Caroline stirs next to him, making a lazy hum deep in her throat that pulls him out of his idle reverie. He blinks his surroundings back into focus; the fluorescence that had been filtering in through the windows last time he checked has now been replaced by warm sunlight. He didn’t even notice so much time had gone by.

Caroline rolled onto her side and was quickly lulled into blissful sleep after their late-night exertions. Klaus was distracted by the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest for a long time until his mind was ensnared by its usual culprits, thoughts trapped in the latest batch of torments and woes to take over the Mikaelsons’ lives. 

 When Caroline opens her eyes and offers him a slow smile, Klaus feels himself touch ground again.

 "'Morning," she slurs in that husky voice, still thick with sleep.

 "Good morning, sweetheart," he replies with a short grin.

 Caroline yawns as she stretches out her body under the thin sheet covering her modesty.

 "Did you sleep at all?" she asks, blinking sluggishly at him.

 "I'm well-rested, if that's what you're asking."

 "It's not." Caroline props herself up on one elbow to stare levelly at him. Some of that drowsiness in her eyes dissipates, disappointment panging through him for bringing her back to the harshness of reality so fast. This is why, sometimes, especially on those not-so-rare nights when he ends up not getting any sleep, he'd rather not stay in bed. It allows the reprieve that slumber offers Caroline to last a little while longer. "Is it about Elijah?" she inquires, a knowing look on her face.

 Klaus' eyes wander away from hers. "It's about everything," he states vaguely, but not untruthfully. 

 Caroline hums unconvinced. "While I know you don't need to sleep, I also know it spells nothing but trouble when you can’t. It’s never good when you spend the whole night thinking."

 "Well, not the whole night," he says with a suggestive leer. "I did spend a good portion of the time engaged in far more pleasant activities."

 She rolls her eyes at him, but her smile is more than a little satisfied when she leans into him. "You're not as smooth as you think, Mikaelson."

 "I beg to differ." Caroline chuckles, shifting under the sheets to press herself against his side, placing a kiss on his shoulder, then his neck, his jaw. Klaus snakes a hand around her back, pulling her closer still, feeling the familiar stirrings of heat in his underbelly. "Shall I prove my point?" he all but purrs.

 Caroline smirks against the corner of his mouth, her palm coming to rest on his chest. Klaus covers her hand with his, angling his face to take her mouth into a kiss. Her breasts pressing against his skin sends a tingle shooting through his body, and his other hand is already sliding down her spine, ready to guide her to straddle him, when lively conversation in the next room makes them pause.

 "Oh-oh," Caroline mutters. "I guess that means Mr. Wolfy is up early today."

 Klaus lets out a disappointed sigh.

 Eve doesn't cry so much when she wakes up anymore. Now, she either stays quietly in her crib until someone sees to her, or she starts playing with her toys. A social butterfly like her mother, she loves to engage in complex conversations with that hideous stuffed wolf Jackson gave her and her absolute favorite toy, the wooden knight Klaus carved for Rebekah when they were children.

 When he started to wake up to the sound of her talking to herself, he became worried, thinking maybe she was seeing things they weren't - which, in New Orleans, could mean a number of horrifying deals. But Caroline assured him that it is perfectly normal for young children to talk to inanimate objects, especially one who lives exclusively amongst adults.

 Apparently, it's good exercise for her imagination, or something.

 When Klaus is watching her, he will make a point to take part in her debates, always highlighting Mr. Knight's grandeur compared to Mr. Bog Scum. 

 "Sweetheart, this filthy dog here is the enemy. He wants to shroud you in flannel, carry you away to the swamp and bore you to sleep. Mr. Knight is here to save you from this stinky animal's claws."

 He's convinced one day she'll understand what he means.

 What’s most troublesome, however, is that Eve has started to attempt to climb out of her crib on her own. They always lock the other door to her bedroom when she's asleep, but the door connecting her room to Caroline's is always left unlocked for safety reasons. One of these days, Klaus thinks, their little wolf is going to catch mommy and daddy in very compromising positions. The idea mortifies him, especially because he and Caroline can get a tad carried away. They are a hybrid and a near-hybrid, after all. Too much energy and whatnot.

 "No rest for the wicked," Caroline speaks around a sigh before peeling away from him. Klaus watches her naked form with wistfulness as she climbs out of bed, his prospect of a lovely morning enterprise disappearing alongside the shape of her beautiful breasts as she shrugs on a fleece robe.

 Caroline vamps off to the en suite bathroom to freshen up a bit and then follows to Eve's room.

 "Good morning, sweet cheeks!" she greets their daughter sunnily. "Good morning to you, too, Mr. Wolfy!" Oh, for goodness' sake, Klaus curses inwardly. "And Mr. Knight!" Much better.

 Minutes later, Caroline returns with Eve, comfortable in fresh diapers, right on her heels, carrying Mr. Inconvenient and Mr. Knight.

 When she sees Klaus, she takes off towards the bed, her little legs getting more and more agile by the day. He pulls the sheets and covers up to his chest while she tries to hoist herself up. With ease, using just one hand, Klaus lifts her up and puts her sitting on his stomach.

 "Good morning, my littlest wolf," he says. "Where's my kiss?"

 His daughter leans down and smacks a loud kiss on his cheek, and then holds Mr. Fleabag close to him for a kiss as well. Klaus makes a face. "Not the dog, Eve."

 "Seriously?" Caroline says with a bored air about her. "You're antagonizing a stuffed animal now?"

 "This thing is a health hazard."

 "That thing has a cute little name, Mr. Wolfy, and your daughter loves him."

 "I refuse to treat a swamp dog as though it were a gentleman. Besides, I'm sure she loves Mr. Knight way more, don't you, love? Where's Mr. Hero?" She shouts something that sounds like Miter Nigh before pushing it onto Klaus' face. He cracks a proud smile at her. "There you go." He attacks her with tickles, and Eve bursts with sweet laughter.

 Caroline shakes her head at him, but he notices she's quite clearly biting back on a smile. "You're impossible."

 "I’m quite possible, I assure you," he replies smoothly. "Where are you going?" he asks when she starts tying her hair into a ponytail and taking clothes from her drawers.

 "Running with Marcel."

 "Oh, for goodness' sake," he protests. "Can you believe this, Eve? It's not even seven in the morning and your mother is willingly stepping out of the house to run. I sometimes fear she might be a psychopath."

 She scoffs loudly. "You would know, wouldn't you?" While she walks by him to go into the en suite, she slaps him lightly across the legs. "Stop telling my child that I'm a psycho, psycho."

 "How else am I supposed to explain this insanity? What kind of person runs for pleasure when there is an infinite array of far more gratifying activities to invest your energy into? Just now we were about to -"

 "Not in front of the small child, Klaus!" she chides from the bathroom.

 "She doesn't know what daddy is talking about, do you, love?" Eve giggles while he lifts her up above him, holding her like a flying superhero. "Blissfully clueless."

 Caroline steps back into the room, already in her exercise gear. Klaus lets out an infinitely despondent sigh. He would love nothing more than to get her out of those.

 "It's inappropriate conversation to have in front of the toddler," she remarks, putting on the smartwatch she bought recently to exercise with and measure her sleep patterns or whatever the bloody hell that is. She showed him all of this gizmo’s functionalities, swearing it’s the best thing ever invented by human minds. Klaus thinks it’s adorable, however incomprehensible, that someone with such close ties with the supernatural world would still be so impressed by technology. There’s literally nothing that cannot be sorted through magic. How is a watch that counts steps supposed to awe you once you’ve seen someone brought back from the dead? Caroline’s attachment to her humanity goes way beyond her empathy. "Besides, it was gonna be a quick activity because I'd go meet Marcel anyway,” she adds after a beat.

 "I can make you see stars in five minutes," he leers, a smirk growing on his face.

 Caroline whips her face at him with what is clearly an attempt at outrage but turns into something else when she can't hold her own smile. She can't deny him when his point was proved just the night before. Several times, in fact.

 "Shut up," she retorts simply. "Can you give her breakfast? I left chopped fruits in the fridge. You can wait about an hour after the bottle and give it to her as a little treat - not Fruit Loops."

 "She loves that thing."

 "Of course she does, it's pure sugar. That's exactly why we don't let her have it all the time. She needs to eat real fruits."

 Klaus rolls his eyes, sitting up in bed and putting the baby beside him. "Honestly, sweetheart, your mother sometimes..." 

 Caroline narrows her eyes at him. "You really love to make yourself out to be the cool parent, don't you?"

 "I don't have to make myself out to be anything, love. I am the parent who doesn't deny her the little joys of sugary treats. If that makes me cool, then you’ve only got yourself to blame." 

 "You're the parent who'll spoil her rotten, that’s what. Let's see how you'll feel when she's 16 and her boyfriend is climbing the balcony in her room in the middle of the night because she never learned how to take a no."

 "Oh, I would love for her suitors to climb her window in the middle of the night. It’ll be the last thing they do,” he says, smiling innocently at Eve.

 “You’ll be such a ray of sunshine when she starts dating.”

 “As per usual," he says with a bite of arrogance. "Hold the child so I can get decent, will you?"

 Caroline picks Eve up and keeps her looking firmly the other way while Klaus flashes out of bed and into the bathroom. He hears Caroline teasing her with “Where did daddy go?” and laughing at what he knows is Eve's extremely confused but astonished face. She thinks they're magicians. It's one of her favorite things, to watch as Klaus makes full use of his vampire speed to all but vanish right before her eyes. Modern technology has got nothing on him.

 There's something extremely heartwarming about his daughter's innocence. One day, she'll be old enough to understand why he can do the things he does. When that day comes, Klaus will cease to be a creature of magic and wonder, to become what he truly is: darkness made flesh. 

 He has never been ashamed of what he is, hardly ever had any qualms with filling the villain shoes, quite glad to do it, in fact, but he suddenly finds himself dreading the day when his child will figure out what it means to carry the Mikaelson name. When their family’s history will weigh down on her shoulders as it does on theirs.

 While making people cower in fear at the mere sound of his name has brought him an obscene amount of satisfaction and pride over the centuries, Klaus has to admit he's fascinated by the pure sparkle in his child's eyes. She's the first human being in a millennium who does not see even a fraction of monstrosity in him, no shadow, no taints, no mortal flaws. Not yet, anyway. All she sees is a funny man who makes her laugh and can hold her up with his finger, tells her stories about evil werewolves and keeps her safe and that's enough for her to adore him. Sometimes, he feels unworthy of such love. As though he's a fraud, deceiving his own daughter and taking advantage of her innocence.

 It still astonishes him that he should ever be capable of making something as pure and bright as that little girl. In a thousand years, Klaus Mikaelson has only ever brought misery and pain into this world. Eve is the first genuinely good thing he's ever done. Then, of course, she inherited all of that from her mother, who holds herself open for compassion and kindness even though she is herself in a symbiotic existence with her own beast. Caroline has taken control of her darkness in ways Klaus doesn't think he's ever seen a vampire as young as her do before. She truly is extraordinary, and every day he hopes, from the bottom of his withered heart, that Eve will turn out to be every inch Caroline's daughter more so than his.

 Klaus can still smell last night’s sex all over himself, so he takes a quick shower and puts on a pair of denims and a shirt and vamps back to the room again, just to surprise Eve. She gasps when he materializes next to her, flinching, and then starts laughing like a little maniac, reaching out to him. 

 "Remember," Caroline says as she lets Eve slide over to Klaus' arms. "Bottle, fruits. No Fruit Loops. I'll tell your other child you said hi."

 "A child who enjoys running has clearly learned nothing from me," he grumbles. “Hopefully I’ll do a better job with this one.” 

 “Start by not feeding her Fruit Loops,” Caroline remarks with a grin before she smacks a loud kiss on Eve's cheek and then one on his.

 When she’s gone, Klaus turns to look at his little wolf, watching him with those dark blues of hers as though she's studying her father. Sometimes he wonders if toddlers know more than they let on.

 "Do you want to do magic?"

 "Yes!" she practically screams, her face splitting with a wide, toothy grin.

 "Get ready, then. Are you ready?" She gives him an exaggerated nod. "Keep your eyes open. One, two..." And then he flashes out of the room with her.

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✨ Thanks for reading! :) If you’ve enjoyed this silly thing, please drop me a comment! Your reblogs are also much appreciated to help this reach more people. ✨

[mappsiedoodles]

OC-Tober Recap and art progress

So! I may not have drawn as many OCs as I had hoped, but: I had other stuff/projects going on and I managed my mental health very carefully during this October insanity and I am pretty darn proud of the chibis I did get to draw!

Also, behold this my first batch of chibis ever, drawn over a year and a half ago:

And these are the ones did for this OC-Tober:

Not too bad, eh? 😌😎

So I pat myself on the shoulder for the progress I've made so far, slow though it may be, and I look forward to the things I'm gonna learn from now on 💕

[sternbilder]

I've been cooking/baking a lot more since lockdown, here's a compilation of things I've made so far that I'm proud of! (+recipes!)

apple crisp! my go-to super easy dessert, plus (store bought) ice cream for that warm/cold combo👌

mozzarella stuffed tonkatsu!! tonkatsu is one of my favorite easy meals to make (and no link, bc I just use my mom’s recipe that I know from memory) but stuffing it was hard af and I will probably never do it again even though it is insanely good?? I will stick to regular tonkatsu next time

apple bread!! this was really tasty and not too hard to make, and not overly sweet too so great for breakfast!

german apple pancakes! I had to buy a cast iron skillet for this but it was worth👌 also if you're curious about why so many apple recipes, it's bc I fucked up and bought 3 dozen apples by accident on instacart bc I am an dumbass 😔

flan!! this tasted amazing and I crushed the entire pan by myself in a week. a lot easier than I thought too!

baked brie! this isn’t the best picture, but there's raspberry jam and maple syrup on the inside, and the crust has brown sugar sprinkled on it! a tad too on the sweet side but still v tasty, this is prob the simplest recipe on here so good for a quick snack

coffee-flavored swiss roll cake! this was a pretty complex recipe and I had to re-do some parts but I really like how it turned out! super tasty and not too sweet, I'm v proud of this one

tamago sando! I had a sudden craving for those egg salad sandwiches you can get at japanese 7/11s so I found the recipe online. I think I used a little too much butter but it was nevertheless delicious👌👌 would recommend

peanut/vegetable stew! no recipe unfortunately & I'm not really sure what this is called bc it's just from a friend's cookbook but it's a vegetarian soup with spinach and tomatoes and onions and sweet potatoes and a peanut-based broth. v tasty and filling, I cooked this with some friends over VC!

and most recently, souffle pancakes! this was the hardest one yet, I threw out an entire batch bc the consistency was all wrong but even my second attempt wasn't as fluffy and browned as I would have liked 😭 maybe someday I will get it right...

[159potterhead]

Petrichor will make 13/25. What else?

Will you fight him for me?🥺 Yess! He looks very much like Matt Cohen.You remember Matt in S4 or S5 when he's possessed by Michael. He looked awesome over there and in my mind I always think him as archangel and not John idk why. And that's another problem yk how I don't like when people know I exist coz it freaks me out. So, my friends and peeps in my class knows about it which is okay but the things is every freaking person in that guy's batch also knows about me, like all the seniors idk how but I think he told everyone or his friends did but I don't like it at all.

Okay, so, we have this weird rule in college over here it's called third button rule, it's basically that we are not allowed to make eye contact with our seniors or any senior on the campus. We are supposed to look down, yk if we wear a shirt and the place where thrid button lies we're supposed to look down that much as if we're looking at the third button and hence the rule. (I hope you're getting it) and I was new I didn't knew much about it and if I saw a guy looking like Matt Cohen passing past me so yeah I'm gonna look at him. That time I didn't knew he was my senior. Other weird thing is that half of the time we're in lab which is just opposite to that guy's class and the back door of that class and the entry door of lab both are just opposite so if we're in lab we can see everything that's going on in that class.

And I only looked at him like only twice or thrice just to confirm if I'm not hallucinating about a spn character coz I was very deep into spn and I thought my subconscious brain is trying make up people on it's own so I'll feel better, that's only conclusion I drawn coz I was not getting enough sleep and you know how overwhelming clowning is, so, I thought I'm mourning over spn and that guy is not real. That's how I got on his radar and everything went down and he was pretty real when he started bullying me. All of the senior people are very insane yk once they told me write 50 slangs and curse words without repeating any one of them. It was very hard. They give very weird tasks😔

(I'm pretty sure your urge to punch that dude will go away when you see him. It's like Matt Cohen 2.0 or like Matt Cohen lite)

Can we can a theatre in our house where we can both watch movies. I always wanted something like that <3

I've never heard of this album before. I'm hearing the name for the first time. Do you like it? (Do you listen to imagine dragons? I am listing to this song rn so I'll put it here)

🎶Whatever it takes, 'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins, I do whatever it takes🎶

i’m thinking...🤔

hell yeah I would!!! yeah that’s how I see him too!😆 woah even his friends know? are you his only target? or did he go after others as well? this seems so... odd👀

I got it dw, but woah that is such a weird rule🤨 what was the reason for it? ahaa... wait... don’t tell me you liked him...?

yeah that’s understandable ahah, and yes sleep deprivation does play a part in addition to being a clown🥲 so he noticed your glances and began bullying you??? WOAH WHAT ON EARTH???? jeez they’re out of their minds!! are you sure they’re college seniors???? why do they even give you tasks in the first place???!!!! this is so messed up, I swear I’d fight him this moment!!! thank god you wont see his messed up brain again!

(he can look like the hottest guy on earth for all I care, but I won’t hesitate if he crossed his line. I’m a completely different person when faced with jerks.)

of course we can!! do you want it to have rows of seats like an actual theatre? we could open a home cinema business!!✨✨✨

it’s a good album ngl. different than what they normally do, but change doesn’t necessarily mean for the worse, and this proved it. (yess!!! omg how many more things do we have in common???)

🎶working hard on something that I'm proud of, out of the box, an epoxy to the world and the vision we've lost. I'm an apostrophe, I'm just a symbol to remind you that there's more to see, I'm just a product of the system, a catastrophe🎶💕

[abrunettefangirlnerd]

(Un)Broken

Pairing: Tony x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader

Plot: You and Steve were together before the Accords but he left you without a goodbye. Overtime your heart started to heal and you were able to let someone else come into your life.

Part: 3/9

Part One   Part Two

A Few Months Later

You listen to the bacon sizzle next to you as you continue to make eggs. After sometime you flip the bacon over and return to the eggs. When both are done you remove them from the stove and put them on a plate. Your movements are methodical, no need to think. Which is a nice change in pace when looking back a few months ago.

“Mr. Stark what exactly are you going to be doing with my suit?” A young voice electrifies around the corner.

“I’m just making an adjustment to the web shooters since someone hacked a multimillion dollar suit.” Tony gives the kid a stern voice, but you can see in his eyes he is a little proud. Not many people can hack him. The only other one was Ultron, but Jarvis was still there.

“Hey who is this?” The boy smiles, you feel like he’s the kind of person who is generally happy.

“I’m (Y/N),” you glance over at Tony but his eyes are trained on the suit. “I am – was – Captain America’s fiancé.”

             Tony looks up at the mention of Steve’s super identity. You don’t know if it is because you didn’t call him Steve for once, or because you said you “were” his fiancé. Though it might have been the word “fiancé,” because not many people knew about your engagement.

“I met him once! A while ago actually,” does this kid ever stop his internal bounce? “I’m Peter by the way.”

“Yeah he’s the new spider dude.” Tony interjects.

“Spider-Man. Yeah my – I’m Spider-Man.” Peter increasingly gets softer.

             Trying not to add a laugh to your smile you hand both Peter and Tony a plate of eggs and bacon. Peter tries to protests but you assure him that you have enough to make more for yourself. Eagerly he takes the plate and sits down at the table a few feet away while Tony stays close to you.

             At first Tony eats in silence entranced by his own wiring of the suit, allowing you to go round up another batch of breakfast. You were hoping for a quiet morning with Tony so you could wish him happy birthday. You’re not sure it Peter knows or if Tony even wants the kid to know.

             Finishing up your batch of bacon, you maneuver around the counter to sit in an open chair at the bar by Tony. Looking at his plate you see parts of bacon he has nibbled on, as well as a few open spots where eggs used to be.

“Your birthday breakfast is getting cold,” you whisper hoping the kid can’t hear.

“What?” Tony freezes what he is doing and turns to face you. “How did you know?”

“We lived together for five – almost six – years.” You jokingly roll your eyes. “That’s plenty of time to learn someone’s birthday.”

             Tony gives you a look knowing that that is not the whole story. Up until a few months ago you thought he hated you. Why bother learning someone’s birthday if they didn’t want anything do to with you. Though surprisingly that wasn’t the case, even though you were never allowed to go to his parties for his birthday.

“Okay fine,” you huffed. “I also asked Pepper to double check.”

             Not able to contain himself much longer he starts to laugh. Joining in you slightly hunch in closer, putting your hand lightly on his shoulder. Placing his hand over yours the laughter starts to die down.

             You become aware of his hand on yours and you have the strangest urge to rip it out from him and to told on tighter all at the same time. Waiting to see what Tony does, you never noticed Peter standing nearby watching the interaction.

“Um, should I put the plate in the sink or?” He trails off.

             Tony and you let go at the same time allowing you to hop up. Taking the plate from Peter you walk over to the dishwasher and carefully place the items inside. Getting up Tony tells you he will be back after fixing the suit.

“Good, because I have a surprise for you.” Mystery looming behind your words.

             The boys head out of the room, Tony a little perplexed. Just before they shoot out of ear range you are able to make the last few words from Peter.

“Happy Birthday Mr. Stark.” And you swear you heard Tony curse your name under his breath.

****

Waiting for Tony to come back you set up the kitchen. Finding the right ingredients and utensils, you lay them out in order of usage. You can’t recall a time that you’ve seen Tony bake, so you have a feeling that this afternoon is going to be interesting.

“Hey (Y/N),” Tony sneaks up behind you and wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Sorry I took so long, Peter is a talker.”

             You see confusion strike his features as he stares at the counter in front of you both. Waiting to see what he says next you feel your nerves go haywire. Starting to think this was a mistake you rack your brain for a way to turn this around.

“You’ll have to bear with me,” he picks up the spatula. “I may be a brilliant billionaire but I am a less than adequate baker.”

             Smiling he picks up the bowl with his other hand and waits for instructions like a school boy. Giggling, you dive right in. Mixing the ingredients together you two talk about just about anything one could think about. Reminding you of a simpler time, you feel your smile continue to grow with every passing second.

“Crack egg on hard surface,” Tony reads from your index card.

             Turning toward you he walks closer. When he stops there is only a few inches separating the two of you. Feeling your breathing thin you can hear your heart beat ringing in your ears. As if in slow motion, Tony lifts his hand around your head. Then suddenly you feel a something hit your hair.

“Did you just…” you bring your hand up to the spot and feel something slimy in your hair. “You cracked the egg on my head!”

“Well your directions said to crack it on a hard surface.” A proud smile creeps upon his lips. “I didn’t think there was a harder surface than your head.”

             Playfully shoving him you feel your cheeks fire up. Trying to avoid his gaze you get back on task but occasionally find yourself hitting him with your hip whenever you pass.

             Setting the oven to preheat at the correct temperature, you turn and feel cool powder land against your face. Wiping the residue off your face you attempt to open your eyes, only to find Tony with a hand covered with the same substance. Looking too smug, you chase after him with the extra batter and spatula. Taking aim, you fling some and it lands perfectly on his nose while getting a bit into his mustache.

“Now you’ve done it.” Laughing, he tackles you to the ground but rolls midair so you land on top of him.

             Trying to get up, Tony wraps his arm around you as he presses his flower covered hand over the rest of your face down to your neck. You stop your squirming and become enchanted by his eyes, like a snake with a snake charmer.

“Hey Tony, “ Happy’s voice shouts from the hall. “What time should we be expecting peo…ple”

             Witnessing the scene in front of him he seems to freeze from shock. No one would have thought that they’d find you on top of Tony Stark. Though if anyone told you this a few months ago you would have believed they were insane, but look at you now.

             You feel Tony’s hold on you lessen and you scramble to your feet. Mumbling something about needing to clean this up you race off to find a mop. Rounding the corner you lean up against the wall and take deep breaths as you burry your head in your hands.

“Tony, she’s Cap’s.” Still being able to hear you crane your neck a bit closer.

“Exactly,” Tony’s voice very different from its once carefree lightness.

“She’s also a girl,” you hear a harshness behind Happy’s words. “Don’t play with her emotions to get back at Rogers.”

             Tears stream down your face, mixing in with the flower it creates a thin paste against your skin. Piecing it together you realize it all makes sense. Tony just wanted to be sweet and fun to mess with your image of him. He’s probably hoping you’ll tell him about possible places Steve would go, or use the media during parties to spread the word that you two are close in attempt to get Steve to come out of hiding. Whatever the reason, you know you don’t want to hear anymore and escape toward your room.

**

However, by escaping to your room you never heard Tony’s response.

“I know that Happy,” Tony runs his hand through his hair. “It may have started as a ploy, but now? Now I might actually be falling for her.”

“I thought you hated her. Now you’re saying that you might love her.” Happy crosses his arms.

“Why does everyone think I hated her?” Anger rises through Tony. “I never hated her! The only thing I’ve hated was the fact that (Y/N) picked Rogers!” He shouts but quickly grows quiet. “She picked him, and I never had a chance.”

**

A Year Ago

             You see fuzzy lights move above you. Muffled shouts ring in your ears like you’re underwater. Flashes of lightning, bullets, and blood flood your mind through slow moving images. You remember a storm rolling in during the fight, bullets zipping past your ears till one hit you in your abdomen.

“Hold on (Y/N)!” Steve’s voice rings through the chaos. “Stay with me!”

             Opening your eyes, at what must have been a few hours later, you examine your surroundings. You’re in a white room in what must be a hospital bed. Trying to get up a shooting pain erupts through you starting from your stomach. As your vision starts to blur you see blobs of people racing in alerted by the alarm going off around you, and everything goes dark once again.

              Slowly coming to, you will your eyes to open but they won’t budge. You can hear someone next to you shift in their seat. Feeling your heart swell, you know it is Steve.

“I really shouldn’t be in here,” the voice is full of anguish but’s not Steve. “I just needed to see if you were okay.”

             You can’t think of anyone you would come visit you even though they shouldn’t. Everyone on the team should be allowed in. Unless this voice belongs to someone who isn’t on the team, or least anymore.

“I never should have left, if I didn’t this wouldn’t have happened.” He places his hand on yours. “You deserve a better life away from all of this, even if it’s away from me.”

             The door slides open as you feel the darkness creep over you again. The two voices seem to be angry at the other, but you can’t tell what they are saying or what they are fighting about. The last thing you remember is the ringing in your ears as you slip back into a dreamless sleep.

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Taglist: @vesta-ro @drabby-abby @sweatyfurystudent @lilulo-12 @ktcat88mph @mustbeaweasleyginger @animegirlgeeky @riverdalehoeeeeeee

[empressxmachina]

by Imperial-Radiance (that’s me :D) | On DeviantArt  | Also On Wattpad 

   Time was passing, and Madi felt like her chances of being found were slowly declining with it. 

    She was sure that it was now too late for any normal N.U. patron to just walk around. But she also knew that anyone on the losing team itself, especially the coaches, had pretty much free reign to enter whenever, and whether the K.U. teams’ visiting reservations had expired already was unknown. 

    The facility was so grandiose, and the doors in the locker room to the halls were soundproofing as far as she knew. She assumed the latter since no one came in and called out her team’s antics in there before the game, despite them being absolutely loud and proud, and she could only wonder how they were after winning. So, there was no way for her to know whether someone was coming or if people were, possibly still, fighting outside.

    Madi didn’t think of Jake as an idiot or anything; however, she didn’t believe that he or any of the team was clever enough to pack a non-K.U.-affiliated set of clothes to walk and talk around inconspicuously like she did for Cari. Thus, if any Nashers were just as heated now as they were before and approached him, then there was a high probability of him getting caught in a brawl of his own. Madi prayed that that wasn’t the case for him so he could find her. Meanwhile, she hoped it wasn’t so calm that any passersby would think nothing of the locker room and lock its doors and trap her in. 

    She had enough reasons to be generally anxious about, well, everything, and she didn’t need this to be more of a horror story. 

    In a move to keep her mind off such awful ideas, including the recently cyclical and grossly petty thought of a Knight finding her and holding her for threat-laced ransom, she decided to tiredly trek across the gummy floor, re-collect her scattered things together, huddle in the corner of a leg of a bench, and play some music on her phone with its battery coming in clutch. 

    Although her size was now alien, the music allowed her to keep some semblances of humanity and happiness since the only thing that changed about it was its volume. Yet, that wasn’t a concern, either. Despite her phone being as diminished as she was, its earbuds had kept their snug fit and crisp sound. Though, she was positive that if she removed them from their audio jack, then their sounds would carry through the room as much as her voice did, aka not at all.

    Nevertheless, Madi kept her cool as well as she could, jamming out until a song that she had remembered being chill suddenly had a budding interjection of bass, sort of like a drum solo. It went well with the beat, but the last thing she needed at the moment was to be shaken by surprise from big vibrations. She looked at her phone to see if she had accidentally downloaded a remix, and she hadn’t. It wasn't until more bass came through that Madi was influenced to remove the buds and realized what was happening.

    The song was inaudible, yet the resonations stayed, encompassing her. Someone had finally entered the locker room.

    Aside from the distant, echoing squeaks of sneakers entering and the door closing behind them, the room was quiet. Yet, Madi would’ve bet that one would’ve been able to hear a pin drop before her voice if she spoke. It was too risky to just speak out or run into the light again. So, she waited for identification, and she found herself on a lucky streak.

    “Madi?” the familiar but magnified voice of Jake asked with resonance. “Are you in here?”

    “Y-Yes!” she cried in reply, leaning out into the open with her phone in hand and earbuds dragging across the tacky tiles behind her. “I’m here!”

    In her attempt to be rescued, the cup-sized cheerleader verified how powerless she was. Her voice didn't even bounce off the nearest locker or reverberate in the hollow underside of the bench. That, or too much was in her way of him to reach him. Either way, it was unsurprising when Jake called out for her again.

    “Mads?” he tried a second time, scurrying down the section of the locker room opposite and most distant from Madi to search. “Come on, now. Where are you, girl?” Madi could hear him jogging through the rows of lockers, getting further and further away from her and groaning along the way. “This is not the time for hide-and-seek. Give me something to work with.”

    “I-I am, damn it! I'm not even close to playing a game right now!” Madi understood his frustrations, but hers were much worse. 

    To try marching to the end of her row to get closer to him, Madi started by detaching herself from the gross ground. The farther she went down the lane, the more she could hear her friend coming back up toward the intersection of lockers where the entrance stood. When she finally reached the end of the locker chain, Jake simultaneously arrived back at the beginning of his. Although he wasn’t in open view, back in front of the door, she was still finally able to see a semblance of his immense form, now on a godly level. 

    His facial features were too far away for Madi to perceive in a good resolution, but she could make out the top of a hat peeking over the tops of the lockers without Jake stretching. Meanwhile, Madi could barely reach the lower groove of one of their doors with her arms raised. But she didn't stop trying to get his attention, now flailing around like a marionette. At one point, she could tell that Jake had turned his head in her direction, and Madi's heart nearly exploded from hope and over-inflation.

    “Does… Does he finally see me… or hear me, even?” she wondered, thirsting for release from this hell. 

    He lingered toward her side of the room for a lengthy amount of time, pulling at her heartstrings as he appeared to pull various poses of confusion in the chilled air above her. However, her hopes dropped when his eyes didn’t lock on hers and he began going toward the exit.

    “Madeline Yu,” Jake started with a dark undertone, glancing down the first few rows on Madi’s side, barely being able to view further than the third pair of lockers on each and not even caring about it, “I swear to God if you are not in that last locker room, then I’m having your ass!” 

    Usually, Madi only heard Jake get heated like that in a late-night bedroom. But being out in the open and at such a small size, even if he didn’t know it, made him appear even more intimidating, almost hell-bent on punishing her. 

    “My cred on the field tonight is not going to save me from being fucking benched or some shit!” he continued. “Do you even know what I had to say for them to even let me come out here!?”

    Madi hadn’t wanted Jake to lie, but she hoped that he didn't tell anyone anything too ridiculous. Yet, no matter what he said, it could never compare to the reality that was her shrunken self. Still, Jake was obviously angered, and if he stayed true to his tendencies, then it wouldn't be long before he stormed off. So, Madi had to figure something out quickly. 

    “For fuck’s sake, Jake!” she huffed, having to turn around and run to the other side of the aisle to even see him now. “Of all the times I’ve asked you to be a little bitch for me, you save your cue for right now!?” 

    As Madi ran along the lockers' sides, she could hear slams on metal, assumed to be Jake going back, doing a final once-over, rushing said search, and gripping on the corners of lockers to peek around them. If they both kept up their paces, then it wouldn't be too long before their sights intersected. However, just as she hoped wouldn't happen, the clanging stopped, and an echoing, exasperated sigh signaled Jake's forfeit. 

    “I'm not doing this!” he announced, throwing his hands up in defeat and disappointment and re-approaching the door. “There is nothing you could do that’s worth me making a fucking fool of myself!”  

    “No, no, Jake! Please!” Madi shrilled as she heard his footfalls begin to retreat away from her. Her pace back the other way hastened to fight his much longer strides but not without consequence. 

    That quickened pace resulted in her encountering the minefield that was the sea of spilled soda much faster than she would've hypothesized. With all her focus on getting to her now more humongous friend, it had been of little priority, despite a few millimeters of it probably being enough to down her outside and drown her inside. If she wasn't careful, then that was what it was going to do, as the itty-bitty beauty suddenly lost her balance and slipped, with her foot and ankle getting stuck on a particularly tacky but invisible spot. 

    Once again, she found herself wading in a bubbly batch, re-soaking her previously hardened cheerleading wear.

    Gritting her teeth through the sprain in her ankle, she pushed up from the ground with one hand sunken in the Gak-like goop. Her other hand gripped her phone with its lengthy earbuds dangling behind it, now sticky and wet yet still playing barely audible tunes. Looking down at them gave her a one-shot-one-opportunity idea that was just insane enough to possibly work. Jake couldn’t hear her, but he could probably hear her phone.

    “For the love of all things good,” Madi begged, clasping both hands over her heart, “please let those two semesters of Physics have some clout at this moment.” 

    Madi stared down her target in the distance: the stagnant slice of her carcinogen of a soda can. Its pop-top faced her and its cut that separated the two halves and flooded the floor. Channeling the spirits of both the football team and the baseball team, she yanked her headphones out of their jack, focused on the skateboard-sized sipping hole, and threw her now music-blasting phone toward it in a spin and at a speed that any coach of any sport would've been proud of. 

    Its flight through the air even impressed Madi, only having dealt with balls of a sporting nature on occasion. However, when the phone went right through its goal as she wanted, she couldn’t immediately celebrate with a touchdown dance. 

    Music was no longer playing. She didn’t think she had paused her playlist, and she didn’t hear the phone break on impact, but all she got back was silence. Not even an ad. 

    Quiet was her only companion, and thus her entire act of technical prowess was marked useless, making her wonder why she didn’t just try calling Jake again since that had obviously worked. With a presence lost in the wind and hopes shattered, there wasn’t anything else she could do. As the footsteps of her only chance of liberation grew further and further away to meet the creaking of an opening door, Madi dropped down to her knees and flopped back into the puddle of pop, her falling tears muffled by face-shadowing hands yet harmonizing with the retreating bass. 

    But just before the final boom of a door closing should’ve come, drowning out Madi’s minuscule whimpers, something else broke through the relative silence. Bouncing off the aluminum and inner plastic of the slashed cylinder, finally, after faulty buffering, the sound waves of a song from way-back-when rang.

    The melody didn’t even have to finish its introduction to be instantly recognizable, and Jake, due to karaoke at orientation years ago, matched it right to a certain someone. 

    “Oh. So, you want me to find you, now?” he laughed, reclosing the cracked door and backing back into the room. “You know I can’t resist a sweet throwback, even one as poppy as this.” 

    Re-facing the expanse and the unseen music performance, he crossed his arms over his chest and began a new exploration, scanning the area for where the music was coming from or, more importantly, any sight of Madi. Through his refined searching, it was proving true, to his surprise, that the sound wasn’t emanating from any speaker Nash had, and his friend still wasn’t visible. 

    If her face wasn’t dripping in carbonated cola, causing her to really feel like the after-party garbage she thought she was, Madi would’ve laughed at his playful comments. Nonetheless, she praised the heavens for her luck ex machina. Now realizing that the chances of him finding her increased tenfold, she jumped to shake off excess brownness from her upper half, let adrenaline and hope distract her from her sprain, and trudge toward her phone to be more noticeable. Since the can had magnified the phone’s volume, she was confident it could magnify hers as well.

    The question now was if she could even reach its opening and get to it.

    “This can’t go on for too much longer, Mads,” Jake sighed, continuing the hunt. “If the cheerleaders left behind one of their own, then my team can easily do the same to me.” 

    As true as his remarks were and the vexation in his voice was apparent, Jake still had his friend’s safety as number one. She was here, or he was being played like a fiddle, and he wasn’t going to leave until he found out which was the truth. 

    With the cheerful tunes of younger years as a signal or a siren’s song, he pressed on, passing rows one-by-one, curiosity as high as he was tall. “Where in the hell are you?” 

    As Jake traversed deeper into the locker room, the music grew louder, dampening his footfalls, much to his liking. However, when it seemed to be coming from right next to him – right in front of him, once he turned to face it – no electronic appliance was visible, and neither was Madi. All that he was met with was a soda can’s suicide. 

    The husk of its metal body was split in two as its syrup blood spread in all directions. Yet, the music was apparent, somehow calling out to him by his feet. Despite how unusual it was, logic was pulling Jake only one way. So, that’s where he went, squatting with his heels down toward the sound.

    The volume of the song increased as he did so, and moving some hair out the way of his ears only raised it more. With the new level of stimuli, however, what Jake didn’t expect to see was where it was coming from. 

    Through a withdrawn squint, he made out a small box making music and ripples in a tiny crater of liquid within the top half of the can. It was obviously more than just a box, but its size couldn’t have been larger than his fingernail or the now-closed piercing he thought was a good idea to get in high school. He rationalized the idea of the sounds bouncing off the can’s insides, yet the technological marvel still shouldn’t have been as loud as it was. 

    Jake began to reach and pinch it up for further inspection, partially fearful that he’d crush it upon contact, but he paused when he got distracted by another unexpected sight: some sort of tiny tendril flopping around through the can’s drinking opening. 

    The jock sat in awe of the tiny tentacle of sorts wiggling back and forth – a stamen of a flower with no stem in sight. While its narrowness resembled that of a sewing pin, its fluidity was like ribbon. Yet, there was something corporeal about it as it seemed driven to grab something, and the bitty box just in front of it looked like that thing. He considered pushing the box closer to the flailing feeler but thought against it in the end. The box had to be Madi’s, whatever it was, and until he found her, it was his. 

    All the while, Jake didn’t miss how the wee waver also appeared to be intentionally avoiding the hole’s surrounding edges as if it didn’t want to hurt itself, exemplifying some inner intelligence and keeping his eyes glued to it. Such an anomaly the animate vine was, intriguing enough for him to want to save its image and research it another day. But before capturing it on his phone’s camera came to mind, a new sight caught his eye. There was more to the flapping frond that just its calculated wiggles. 

    Despite it being soda-coated, Jake, somehow, made out a golden hue across its surface, one a bit too comparable to that of the pullover he was wearing.

    More curious than ever now, Jake had to see this thing up close. Yet, he was too cautious to not make a move for it. After all, he wasn’t sure what it was. If it became necessary, then he could’ve easily used any of his lanky appendages to swipe, kick, or crush the minute limb or whatever being it was connected to. Though, he truly hoped it wouldn’t ever have to come to that. His broad, bulky stature told one story, but Jake was mostly a gentle soul, only ever bouncing back on a person if they bounced on him first in every sense of the term. With this thing, however, the odds of an attack appeared to be on his side, and he gambled on that confidence by leaning forward to get a better view, looking past the rim of its surrounding can to see what he was dealing with.

    What he got was the last thing he ever expected, but it made Madi’s mania all the more valid. 

    A bantam hip of fallow hue with a sliver of an onyx etching down it peeked out from under a regal violet and gold covering. An intricately stitched and detailed piece of fabric that wrapped around and fully shielded a pair of taut glutes except for in a slit on the side that had been turned too far. Their crests fittingly marked the apex and start of two sculpted legs, complete with socks and shoes. Up from the hip, a sea of ebony, chocolate-streaked waves connected at a crown where two other tiny appendages popped out: arms, of which one of them whipped and wound like the snakelike creature Jake had thought it was.

    It just seemed too bizarre to be real – everything about the night had been like a dream – but this didn’t feel like a fantasy. He knew that figure anywhere, yet it was akin to a figurine now, one able to hide behind any of his fingers. Even so, he couldn’t mistake that ass. 

    The varsity co-ed uniform, even in its stained state, was recognizable enough, but with the long, flowing hair, the music, and those cakes, it just screamed ‘Madeline’. All the nicknames he’d given her regarding their previously just-slightly-more-than-a-ruler’s-length height difference had a whole, new meaning now if his eyes weren’t deceiving him. However, there was only one way to find out for sure, and he hoped, thinking about how her body should be working, he wouldn’t make her go deaf… if he already hadn’t. 

     “Madi?”

[whaleyoufeedmenuggets]

Im too lazy to look at the questions so DO ALL OF THEM. (if you dont wanna then go on a random number generator and get 5 random numbers)

ITS REALLY LONG BUT I DID IT KJSHADJS HERE GOES i love oversharing my lifealso im putting a read more line bc its hella long

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

ehhh depends on my mood. i’d say it’s (dark) chocolate most of the time (love that 70% dark chocolate mmMmMm)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!! except when it gets all over my face and hair o no

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

common report book comments included

- very active

- bright

- “the live wire of the class”

- usually distracted but still does well

- mischievous

- playful

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

bottles so that i can close it and save the rest for later and not have to chug it yeet

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

sportswear #sweatpantsalldayeveryday

7. earbuds or headphones?

def headphones but they’re inconvenient sometimes :/

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows!! (also, my adhd ass can’t get through a movie without zoning out oops)

9. favorite smell in the summer?

i haven’t experienced /real/ summer (thank u singapore’s tropical climate) but i rly like the smell of rain :”)

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

making up excuses to skip pe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

belvitas before morning practice

croissant sandwich and chocolate milk after practice

if there’s no practice, then scrambled eggs from the dining hall lolol

if i’m too lazy to go to the dining hall, then cereal

12. name of your favorite playlist?

it’s literally called jams and the description is “a clusterfuck of stuff i’ve jammed to at some point”

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

gummy bears/sour patch kids

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

death of a salesman - arthur miller

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

with one foot up on the chair and the other leg sitting normally

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

a pair of asics sneakers

18. ideal weather?

15ºc/60ºf when its like cool but not too cold but also not ridiculously hot and also when theres no insane wind (a light breeze is fine)

19. sleeping position?

on my left side and hugging a pillow/bolster/soft toy

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

i like the feeling of pen and paper but im disorganized as hell so an apple pencil + ipad makes a good enough substitute

21. obsession from childhood?

frogs (i’ve loved them since i was 3 hehe)

22. role model?

a dude i used to train with for a while in 2014. he retired last year but he’s always looked out for me like an older brother since we trained together (he’s 8 years older than me lmao) and even thought i’m so far away rn he still checks in on me and stuff and idk he’s probably one of the swimmers i respect the most.

23. strange habits?

i cant fall asleep at night if im not hugging something.  like. it could be a pillow. or a soft toy. literally anything. once on a school trip i hugged a pair of sweatpants to sleep bc i legit cant fall asleep if im not hugging something.i have no problem falling asleep in class/on buses/cars/planes though.

24. favorite crystal?

idk i never really paid enough attention to crystals to actually have a favorite and know their names. they’re all rly pretty tho.

25. first song you remember hearing?

uhh h h i honestly can’t remember. probably some classical music bc i played the violin and that was my first experience of music that i was actually aware of????

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

switch on the aircon and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch. and swimming outdoors i guess.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

switch on the heater and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch.

do u see a pattern here

28. five songs to describe you?

jet lag - simple plan (bc time zones suck and i miss my fam & friends)

avalanche - bring me the horizon (pretty much sums up how tf my brain feels)

high hopes - p!atd

astronaut - simple plan

the reckless and the brave - all time low

29. best way to bond with you?

doing dumb shit with me

also Quality Time™️ like idk even if we’re chilling and doing our own shit i like just spending time with people im comfortable enough with

30. places that you find sacred?

idk

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

a hoodie and sweatpants

for no reason other than that’s what i wear 90% of the time

32. top five favorite vines?

I AM CONFUSION!!! AMERICA EXPLAIN

this bitch empty. yeet.

im in my mom’s car VROOM VROOM

the one of that dad playing the saxophone (???) and the kid slamming the oven door open and shut

road works ahead “haha yea sure hope it does!”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either lmao or lolol or LMFAO or yeet

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

gOD i had spotify ads stuck in my head all the time before i switched to premium and now i cant remember any of them (thank god)

35. average time you fall asleep?

i’d say 12:30-1ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

the tROLL FACE MEME LIKE those rage faces idk what they’re called but BASICALLY THOSE 2010-2012 era memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!!! i like sitting on them and yeeting myself around on them or getting people to push me around and then falling off

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

ngl i havent had either of them before

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

so in jc2 (aka 12th grade), for some reason PEOPLE WERE PUTTING PRE-PACKAGED HARD BOILED EGGS ALL OVER THE SCHOOL. like they were still in their wrappers and all but u could open ur schoolbag and find like 5 eggs in there. and no one knew where they came from. i think at one point there were even eggs hanging from the pull-up bars. all i know is that they were everywhere and people in my batch still remember it as the egg invasion of acjc.

41. last person you texted?

my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

def jacket!!! especially when they have zips hehe

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

idk man depends on my mood

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi bc im a fricken nerd

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

shirt and sweats

47. favorite type of cheese?

cheddarrr also i like mozzerrella sticks

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

a fineapple B)

lmao jk ummmm maybe a watermelon bc when u hit it it sounds hollow, just like how my skull would sound if someone hit it (h a)

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

here for a good time not for a long time

never give up without a fight

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

idk probably some dumb meme. i laugh at a lot of stuff like i laugh anything even mildly funny. some that i can think of off the top of my head are:

- i was tryna type ducky but typed fucky instead and sOmEOnE (could be the person who submitted this ask, idk tho) changed my facebook messenger nickname to fucky and the notification was like ”poopy butthole changed your nickname to fucky” and i think that’s still the funniest sentence i’ve read in my whole life

- one time we went to mcdonalds and a friend said mcfluffy instead of mcflurry and idk why but i laughed so hard at that

- once @doduo and i spent half a chinese lesson cutting out random faces from the chinese newspaper and sticking them randomly all over the classroom and idk. it was the funniest thing ever. until the teacher came over and confiscated my scissors rip.

51. current stresses?

- an essay draft (that i am procrastinating rn by doing this, oops)

- CANADIAN TRIALS (but thats a good kind of stress)

- submitting a proposal for a group project but none of my groupmates are freaking replying my texts ugh

52. favorite font?

avenir next!! i find san serif fonts way easier to read than serif lolol.i like helvetica neue too.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry af but also i just got my nails done so they pretty rn hehe

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i…havent had a real job yet

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk i was never rly one for fairy tales even as a kid.

56. favorite tradition?

chinese new year when we get CASH and we spend 3 days just eating junk yEET im rly sad im gonna be missing it the next few years tho

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

hh h h hh hhh hh hh they’re pretty personal i don’t /really/ wanna put it out here but i can text you the answer to this if you want (i’m perfectly fine with that!!)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

- i think i’m pretty intuitive!!! i can guess anyone’s mbti if i’ve spent enough time with them/gotten a detailed enough description of them /winks/ and i can read people pretty well in general and i can draw links to themes/symbols in lit pretty well….???

- i’m somewhat decent at lettering…i think

- i’m good at pull-ups and also vertical jumps i’m secretly a froge

- i’m decent at photography…i guess….

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

yeet

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

pokemon !!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

/sweats/ i’m not very good at remembering lines from books/movies/shows WELP

62. seven characters you relate to?

JAKE PERALTA - b99

rosa diaz - b99

linguine - ratatouille (he’s permanently confused and he let a ratto take over his job bc he had no idea what he was doing like damn what a big mood)

dory - finding nemo/finding dory (i relate to the forgetfulness)

percy jackson

kale bae /winks/

mitt (during bad phases) /winks again, but sadly/

63. five songs that would play in your club?

idek man i wouldnt even be at my own club i’d be at home taking a nap i’ll just ask someone else to handle my playlist

64. favorite website from your childhood?

club penguin !!!

65. any permanent scars?

yE one of them was from jumping onto a treadmill going at 13km/h 2 years ago bc i thought i was a good idea

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont have any

67. good luck charms?

i eat pancakes for breakfast on meet days!!!! altho i think this is more of a habit than a good luck charm tbh lmao.

also i guess pip???? he’s my emotional support narwhal :’)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

durian. i cant stand the stuff or anything flavored like it ugh.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

red food coloring is derived from beetles

70. left or right handed?

right

71. least favorite pattern?

overly-floral patterns i guessssss. also i hate wearing stripes.

72. worst subject?

chinese

besides that, math and physics

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

i rly like vanilla ice cream and fries

also i would eat ketchup with nearly anything

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

i usually just suck it up and go to sleep when it comes to pain but i guess an 8??? idk. i usually take advil/ibuprofen only for fevers

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i got my first loose tooth on january 11 2005 and it fell out on january 18 2005 & it was a tuesday (pls don’t ask me how i remember this bc i dont know)

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

tater tots

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

cactus i guess. idk im not good at plants.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

grocery store sushi (it was pretty decent in singapore so yeeeee lmao also i ate a lot of that as a kid)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

its the same photo for both so yeAh

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

idk i always called them fireflies

82. pc or console?

console I LOVE THE FEEL OF BUTTONS

83. writing or drawing?

drawing (more like doodlign for me bc i cant draw for shit)

84. podcasts or talk radio?

neither but if i rlllllly had to choose then podcasts i guessss s sss

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither LMAO i gave all my barbies haircuts when i was a kid bc i didnt know what to do with them

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology for sure!! i love greek mythology (may or may not be bc of percy jackson lolol)

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cookies

87. your greatest fear?

losing those i love and care about (could be drifting or actual death it goes both ways)

88. your greatest wish?

rn, for my essay to write itself

for the short-term, to make the olympics (and WUGs…and worlds…and sea games…and asian games…and commonwealth games lmao)

for the long-term, uhhh idk. i just wanna live a life i’m satisfied with and to have a job i actually like and to be able to support my parents

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my mom

90. luckiest mistake?

i always say that i regret doing a year of college in singapore instead of coming here for freshman year but if i’d come in a year earlier like i was supposed to, i proba wouldn’t have made it past swim team tryouts and i made some pretty great friends in my first year of college soooo it all worked out i guessi cant think of any others rn

91. boxes or bags?

bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights are rly pretty!!but i like natural light :”)

93. nicknames?

deb

debs

debo

debbo

alpha childuhh h h i think thats about it??? i cant remember any others

94. favorite season?

spring’s pretty great rni like fall too (before it gets cOLd)

95. favorite app on your phone?

insta/tumblr/telegram

96. desktop background?

a photo of me looking rly cool at the starting blocks before a race B)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4 - mine (singapore & US), my mom’s and my dad’s

98. favorite historical era?

uhh h h idk the ice age seemed pretty cool haha sike it was actually coldmedieval times seemed pretty cool too like damn i want a suit of armorWHEW I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS but i had fun so yeet

also if you read all the way down here ily and you’re cool

[novantinuum]

Jen’s mega list of plans:

Written and posted here purely to keep me accountable, and also bc it’s easier to archive posts than find anything in my thousands of documents on my phone. These are all fan projects, basically.

Gravity Falls

-Draw kiki-kit’s precious flame Mabel, (from the graphic novel), and perhaps a flame Pines Family to go with it. Love her design. It seriously just... is precious <3

-Draw graphic novel like “covers” for @the-ill-doctor and I’s RPs to commemorate our 1 yr anniversary of starting the first RP

-While speaking of RP, push past editing road blocks on The Time We Lost, the Time We Mended so we can finally post TateGate™ (pardon the unintelligible inside joke)

-I genuinely want to continue working on the AU comic I’d churned out a few pages for, and test my ability there more. The graphic novel has inspired me.

-I really want to make a print of that nice piece with three eras of Stan and all the Stan related objects floating over them for myself and hang it on my wall. Simple task, but I know I’ll forget so here I am posting a note to myself. JEN YOU KNUCKLEHEAD, get it done :O

-Just, generally? I want to get more comfortable sketching quick and fast. In traditional. I want to fill up a sketchbook with dynamic poses and expressions and random bullshit and get comfortable getting messy with my art.

-AMVs. Once my brother helps me rip the boxset, I have a special commission to make for @eregyrn-falls , and then after that I had a great, emotional idea for the song Unity by Shinedown.

Trollhunters

-I had a fic I started that I REALLY want to get back into, Death and All That Follows. I just have so many crazy projects rumbling through my head that this is easier said than done XD

-There’s a bunch of dynamic Jim and Toby pieces I have half finished that I’ll prob come back to one day if I’m bored...

-My cosplay prop amulet. Need to get glue and get it all together, plus resin/glow in the dark stuff for the crystal, and maybe paint for some touch up pizzaz.

-Not to mention, if I’m going to cosplay Jim? I need to actually order shoes, a wig, and the jacket. I have a stretch goal for colored contact lenses, but eh if I don’t get there that’s fine.

-I can never draw enough troll Jim, to be perfectly honest.

-I promised @inktheblot that I’d draw Toby in the trollhunter armor at some point and I still aim to do that. I actually kinda have an AU for it too?? So I could prob just make a bunch of sketches for that...

-I also promised myself once that I’d make big two or three inch amulet pins. Mostly one just for myself. But if I had the money to do a small bulk batch, excellent.

-Also mostly just for myself, unless I threw it on like... redbubble or something, I wanted to make a custom Trollhunters shirt with the amulet and some crystals and a quote and shit. Because I’m salty that the only Trollhunters shirts that officially exist are for small children.

AU crossover nonsense

-Write more of A Tale of Two Trollhunters. Probably a given, but I’m behind where I wanted to be. Also, I have a bunch of half sketched out future scene ideas I want to post as one shot snippets bc we all know I’ll never actually get there going chronologically ;D;

-Design troll forms for my changeling Dipper and Mabel

-While we’re at it, make designs for Alex and Gina Pines, my OC Dip and Mab parents who feature in the future stuff for this story.

Other

-Just, in general... develop my OCs more. Make MORE OCs. Challenge myself to just MAKE characters.

-Speaking of that, I kiiiinda wanna make a GF dating sim persona I kiiiinda really do, is it too late for that? XD

So. Anyways. As you might tell from all this insanity, I have a whole hell of a lot I would. Conceptually like to do? I really really love making fandom content y’all, it’s what keeps me going honestly. It’s my one creative outlet in between the stress of trying to pursue a degree in biochemistry, of all the hellishly complicated things I could’ve decided to find fascinating. And there’s genuinely some points where I’m like? What the hell Jen. What the fresh hell, why on earth do you have to give yourself so many project ideas to tackle? Why did you decide to draw AND write AND edit, why can’t you just pick ONE? And I’ve no idea dudes not a s i n g l e fuck. My attention bounces so fast from one idea to the next that sometimes I genuinely marvel how on earth I’ve gotten anything done in the past two years, but eh no matter. Anyways, now I’m just rambling so?

Future Jen. Step your game the fuck up my man. Get some cool fan content done! Stop disappointing your far-too-cool mutuals and followers with a lack of fan content and make something you can be proud of! Be cool, dude.

Be cool.

[botanistlester]

Sweet Pea (27/34)

Summary: A nickname that goes bitter in your mouth. Cries for help that no one listens to. Gentle hands that make you quake on the ground you’re standing on. When Phil first met Nico, he thought he was a gift from the heavens. But behind the mask lies something daunting, something unnerving, that Phil never foresaw. Through his journey, he finds solace in Dan, the regular at his workplace, who seems to be the only one who sees through Nico’s mask to the darkness underneath. Warnings: Abusive relationship, violence A/N: Kind of a short chapter, but that's alright. I think it's important! I'm excited about the next few chapters ahhh. Chapter 28 MAY come out a little bit early? Not positive? Because I'm going to chicago this next weekend, but it depends on if i have internet connection or not. If I have internet connection then i'm gonna upload it on saturday as usual! Thanks for @snowbunnylester for editing for me. The lyrics at the beginning are from The Fire by Tonight Alive.

ALSO, thank you SO MUCH to everybody who voted for this fic in the phanfic awards. I am super proud to announce that this fic won many awards! Sweet Pea was officially voted first place Best of the Best fic, Best Angst, and Best Chaptered, and second place in the Edge of the Seat Award, and Slow Burn, for the phanfic awards 2017! I appreciate and love all of you and i'm gonna cry wtf!

Previous | Masterlist

Read it on AO3 Read it on Wattpad

-

Chapter Twenty-Seven

But I made it out alive. I’m here to say I breathe; at least I try. I won’t go without a fight. You can’t stop me.

-

Phil has been doing a lot of thinking.

Truth was, he was bored. He was bored of life. His life had become an endless cycle of the same things over and over again; get up, go to work, get back home, clean the house, make dinner, play video games, talk to Dan, go to sleep. Over and over and over again. There was nothing for him to be excited about, nothing that made the wheels in his head turn to make him think, nothing to expand his knowledge about subjects that he cared about.

He missed school. He missed his friends. He missed going out. He missed how he would go to school and giggle in the middle of lectures because his friend had decided to make a lame sex joke under their breath. He missed going to the dining halls on campus and watching the people walk past as he ate a sad enchilada. He missed how he had to stay up late to finish essays because he’d procrastinated way too much. Okay well, maybe he didn’t miss that part, but he missed the other stuff and it almost made him long for that as well.

He was trapped in an endless cycle of boredom and he didn’t really know what to do about it.

“Dan, I think I’m dying,” Phil groaned out one day, when his thoughts finally caught up to him and he realised that he couldn’t fucking do this anymore.

Dan set down his DS, which Phil assumed he had been using to play Animal Crossing judging by the songs. His friend raised his eyebrows in question, staring at him quizzically, expectantly. “Okay?” Dan asked slowly. “And why do you think you’re dying.”

Phil pressed his palms into his eyes and pressed down. Stars danced across his vision like it was mimicking the night sky, and he let out another pitiful groan. “I’m so fucking bored.”

“Alright, so do something else then and stop sitting around on your ass,” Dan replied as though it was the simplest solution in the entire world. He went to pick up his DS again, but Phil stopped him with his words.

“No, like. I’m bored. With life.” Phil sighed, and he didn’t really think before he started to speak again. He had gotten a little better about speaking about his feelings, thanks to the endless prodding from Nate, but he was still pretty bad at it. Especially when it came to major life choices and not thinking it through before he suggested it. “I think I want to go back to school.”

Dan really did drop his DS then. It dropped to the floor with a thump as he sat up from the couch, staring at Phil with his mouth open in a gape. “Now hold on,” Dan said, his eyes blinking fast. “Let’s talk about this first so I can understand your sudden change of heart.”

Phil groaned and flung himself backwards on the couch, fully aware that he was throwing a temper tantrum. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to think about it. He just wanted to do. He was bored. So fucking bored that it made his head spin and his fingers tap rhythmically on the desk. Staying in the house during the day, just doing work and coming back home afterwards, was making him go insane.

He needed to do something.

“What is there to understand, Dan?” Phil asked, his voice pathetic and whiney like he was a god damn baby. “I’m so bored that I think I’m going to actually die. What else is there to think about?”

Dan bit his lip, looking concerned. Phil didn’t really understand why he was so concerned. Didn’t he want Phil to go back to school? To do something with his life? With the way that Dan was looking now, it seemed like he was more apprehensive than anything at this suggestion, and it made Phil’s heart sink. Phil’s shoulders began to sag with defeat and his chest caved in like he was trying to hide himself from the world. Dan saw this, shaking his head and scooting closer to him on the couch. “No, no! It’s not what you’re thinking,” Dan promised. He put an arm around Phil’s shoulders, and brought him closer so that he could place a chaste kiss on the side of Phil’s head.

Phil relaxed into him, because this was Dan and there was no way that Phil could just give up an offer of cuddling a literal giant teddy bear. He stayed silent as Dan continued, just drinking in his warmth and closing his eyes to try and calm himself down, to tell himself that Dan was here, of course he was going to be concerned about Phil. “So what aren’t I thinking of then?” Phil murmured, closing his eyes and soaking in the feel of being cuddled up close to Dan.

“Well,” Dan started. He picked up his hand and started to brush his fingers through Phil’s hair, just how Phil liked it. It was wonderful and made Phil’s head get off of the impending conversation just slightly. He always liked when people brushed their fingers through his hair, almost as though he were a cat. It made him feel calm. Loved, even. “I’m honestly just concerned about your mental stability at the moment. Not because I don’t think you can handle school or anything, but because I know you dropped out because you physically couldn’t handle it anymore. So I guess I just worry that you’ll join school again and then immediately feel pressured and overwhelmed again, which is something I don’t want for you. Does that make sense, or am I just an asshole?”

Phil chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re not an asshole, Dan,” he said warmly, and it was the truth. He could see where Dan was coming from with this. After all, Dan had seen Phil in probably every mood possible by now. He’d seen Phil when he’d given up. He’d seen Phil when he was angry. He’d seen Phil when he was broken beyond repair, and he’d seen Phil when he was baking five batches of cookies while dancing around the kitchen singing Japanese music at the top of his lungs. Phil had no doubt in his mind that Dan knew him better than he knew himself.

Which was why Phil was confident enough in their relationship to calmly tell Dan why he had to do this, why he had to go back to school. Not for anybody else, but for himself.

“I’ll be honest with you, Dan,” he began, taking his best friend’s free hand in his own. He started to play with Dan’s fingers, picking them up slightly and letting them slap back down onto his thigh. “At this point in my life, right now, I feel like I don’t enjoy anything anymore. Sure, that was the same as before and I know that. But while I felt like I had nothing to live for back then, I feel like I can… I don’t know, accomplish something now? Like maybe I can do something other than sitting around on my ass playing Mario Kart all day and working at a dumb pizza place. If I go to school, I think it’ll give me that drive to actually do something again, you know? Like maybe I can be an English professor someday and actually be happy with myself. Doesn’t that sound great?”

Dan was silent for a moment, which was disconcerting to Phil. He glanced over at Dan to find his friend grinning so largely that he couldn’t possibly speak, his entire face lit up like the sun. He surged forward suddenly, embracing Phil in a hug so tight that it knocked the breath out of him. “Fuck, I’m so proud of you,” Dan whispered in Phil’s ear, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. It felt weirdly intimate, but Phil didn’t mind. He rather liked it. “Two months ago, you never would have said something like this. And now you’re filled with hope and amazement and excitement about the future.”

Dan sighed and sat back, holding Phil at arms length. His eyes were golden honey on a bright day, and Phil mimicked his happy grin. “I’m so immensely proud of you, Phil. I don’t think you know just how much guts this took to finally try to start getting on your feet again. I support you wholeheartedly, and I’ll be there for you every step of the way no matter what, just as I always have been.”

Phil laughed, a giddy bubble escaping from his chest. “Thank you,” he murmured. “Admittedly, I’m scared. Really scared.” He looked away from Dan, staring at the ceiling instead and squinting like he was trying to find something on the white surface. “What if I see Nico there? Chandler? What if I have a break down? What if I end up not being able to do it? Because you’re right. I am screwed up. I do have a lot going on. There are probably going to be times I have a panic attack and won’t be able to finish homework due to that. I have full faith that’ll happen. But I can’t just give up due to some guy who made me love him more than I loved myself.” Phil paused and made eye contact with Dan, his gaze burning. “It’s about time I loved myself. It’s about time I stopped sulking around. I need to get out, Dan, and this is one of the first steps into having a better life.”

Dan was staring at Phil as though he had put the stars in the sky, his expression filled with awe. He was happy, so happy, that Phil almost thought he would just lean forward and kiss him or something. That was the kind of expression Dan was giving him, and it made Phil’s chest swell in a pleasant and excited way. Dan didn’t kiss him though, of course he didn’t, because they were best friends, but he did pick up Phil’s hand, entwining their fingers together. “I’m so fucking proud of you, jesus christ. But you’re wrong about this being the first step.” Phil cocked his head in confusion, and waited for Dan to go on. “The first step started as soon as Nico walked out of your life. You started to heal that same day. It may not have felt like it, but you started to do things that were the best for you, even if you may have chosen some coping mechanisms that weren't’t healthy.” Phil grimaced as he remembered Jace, how he’d cheated on him, how many people he’d slept with in such a short time frame. He wasn’t proud of that. “It’s been fucking hard, and it may not have felt like you were healing, but you were. You still are. And you’re doing better every day. Not everybody can do that but you did. Do you know how amazing that is?”

Phil beamed, and his eyes started to well up with tears despite himself. He was being a baby, but that was alright. He had no qualms with crying in front of Dan now. And he definitely wasn’t embarrassed to lurch forward to bury himself in Dan’s chest, using his warmth as comfort in this hard time. “I’m so scared,” Phil whispered into Dan’s chest.

A pair of warm arms encircled his waist and clutched him tightly to Dan’s body, almost like a shield. Phil felt protected just from the embrace, like nothing bad in the world could hurt him. “I know,” Dan whispered. “But you don’t have to do it alone. I’ll be by your side through it all.”

“Thank you,” Phil choked out. He suddenly couldn’t breathe, his throat all clogged up with cotton wool, tears leaking from his eyes. “I’m worried about if I see him. What would I do? I don’t… I don’t think I can see him again without having a meltdown again.”

“He can’t hurt you anymore,” Dan said protectively, tightening his arms even more around Phil’s waist. “You have a restraining order and you have me. I’ll punch him if he even steps within twenty feet of you.”

Phil barked out a laugh, one thick with tears and worry. “But you won’t be there the whole time I’m on campus. What if I see him during one of the times you can’t be there?”

Dan kissed the top of Phil’s head and rubbed the small of his back. “Then Louise and I will form our own mafia and skin him alive,” he joked, before turning serious. “For real, though. I won’t let anything happen to you. It he gets close to you then call the police. You can’t stop living your life in fear of him, you can’t let him control you. You’re stronger than him, you’re better than him, and you have wonderful friends who will beat his ass if he even tries to come close to you.” Dan reached up and grabbed Phil’s face in his hands, gently forcing Phil’s face up to make eye contact. He smiled warmly. “Seriously. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

There weren’t a lot of things that Phil believed in anymore. He didn’t believe in Santa Claus. He didn’t believe that each person only fell in love once. He didn’t believe that people deserved to go through the shit that he went through with Nico.

But for some reason, he found himself believing that he would be safe, that he could go back to school and steer clear from Nico. WIth Dan and Louise and all of his other friends sticking by his side, Phil felt like he could do anything in the world.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

[forthelalaland]

Instant joy 🧡🧡🧡

Had an extraordinarily happy Thursday with the family today! Should I say thanks to our mayor, Abby Binay? Oh, wondering why? Well, read on. 😂

It has been weeks when Mama and Papa took care of our documents needed for this so-called Makatizen card, issued by our local government. I did not know the logic why they pushed this thing so much at first. Zero knowledge about it, I even asked what the hell is this card for. I then knew that this useful Makatizen card is an ATM plus privelege card specifically given to Makati City citizens. Amazing cos we are the first digitized city in the Philippines for having this! Aside from being an honored government ID, people in the neighborhood can be cashless when paying when you own this. This is good for my grandparents too because they do not need to go in line whenever they will get their allowances. I then thought, ah, that is why. However, if I would be asked, I really would not like to go because I do not want to risk my salary even if it is just for a day. The real reason why I got persuaded to apply because I know it would be a good time to rest myself from work and spend some happy time with my fam. Good thing the company allowed me to. Thank you po! I finished all my tasks for the week anyway even if it is just Wednesday and I got no pending works left to be honest so, that. Yup, yay yay yay!

Expectations for this day were ruined. Began first thing, the very first thing in the morning. I thought I will have a good sleep but no, mum woke me up earlier than expected because she said we have to come first since they have a quota for every batch. Of course that is not true but unluckily, some believed on it and one of them was my mother. Huehue. We are four in the family so it took a little time to prepare. Lolo, lolas (bc they are two), and tito did not wait for us anymore and rode a cab instead. I wanted us to go together but we saw each other in the venue anyway. Hihihi. I think it was already past 8 in the morning when we left home. What the, traffic! Weird because Thursday. As if all Makatizens are going to the city hall. Haha? But actually, the staff released a schedule for every barangay when they could file the application. All dates are on weekdays but they should have thought of collecting papers on weekends too. How about the people who cannot leave their work or classes? They said they are hoping this event will be done in an organized matter yet their system was messed up. For that day, it was Comembo and Pembo. Have they did not realize Pembo has a massive population? Our barangay is already that big so combining with another one got so much hassle! Lines everywhere. As in! First line will be for the checking of documents just to be sure. This is beneficial for those who lack the requirements because they can catch up after if ever. But for the complete ones, they will proceed to the second looooong line. This is for the final verification of papers and biometrics. Senior Makatizens have their own, an express lane separated from us so theirs were faster. After all, they deserve it. But you know, the government should have just went to the grassroots because some of these oldies really had a hard time going on and off the public transpo. If only we could spend some little effort to them, 'no? Oh, facepalm for the ones who thought of this procedure!!! While about the regulars (like what most say) on the other hand, must be dealt accordingly. Ours was such a hell, eh?!? Singit and pasingit pa more! They just thought of a band-aid solution when it was almost three in the afternoon already. And, it did not make sense at all. They just stamped us for the reason of cut-off. Too selfish man, what about us? There were still singit people around. Even the door officers were favoring people as well Aba, mababagal na nga, naninigaw at nangsasagot pa, eh may kinikilingan pa. Imagine me bursting with my face so red because it was almost a whole day shift after we filed ours. Not kidding. 9AM to 6PM, ugh. I thought I would be able to rest today but I did not. I even got more tired actually. Wassup, physical and emotional strength?! There were many factors, tbh. But I just thank God, the family still made it through -- that is what matters. 💖

Of course, many things happened in between. Duh, freaking nine hours? Spent almost a day processing this shizz. Haha, huhu! Albeit what happened, I would love to remember this as an instant family day. Yup, there were a lot of moments shared to one another. I do not want to think of this day as a wasted one just because of the long waiting line, annoying neighbors, and such. So now, I will be focusing on the good part. Heehee. So... I missed this, really did, these kind of days. I love this because I got my eyes, heart, and soul opened to our family values once again. And to tell you, we have shown these traits not just to the four of us but also to the ones we interacted that day. Realized I got my righteous and friendly attitude from Papa while my making-things-happen-so-never-give-up mindset from Mama. Supposedly, sissy and I planned not to come but we did! Enjoyed so much during our in between photoshoots and random food trips. The fam's spontaneous talks have also went the long way, all straight to the heart! The hours were not actually that long having these people beside me. It was hot, yes. There are so many nakakagigil stuff (or staff hehe) around, super. Also the unfairness I kept on fighting. But... I still can say I am happy. Simple joys and little things are not so ordinary or small when created with the people you love. With Mama, Papa, and Ate? G! I love you! Thank you! This is one of the memorable moments of my life with the fam. 🙏🎉💖

Just some additional good vibes! There were free bottled water, coffee, and fans given by mayora. Also haircut, blood typing, and massage! It was so funny and good at the same time because bayanihan. Second to the nth commotion everytime a precise statement was uttered, also a yes-yes. Got to talk to people whom you really do not know because that is just it, how it goes. You cannot blame anyone because it was really insanely boring. Hahaha. And uhm, let us add the little known-unknown appreciation in the last stage of the process. I was submitting my papers and proceeding for the biometrics when suddenly, the staff made noises. I knew it was something but I did not mind it. When I sat in the designated place, some made parinig that they hope their next applicant is also a beauty. So of course, felt nice because I felt I am still pretty even if some are making me down. Hehehe. Then! The guy asked for my age. He got shocked because I do not look my age daw. They even thought I am still studying. So when they asked my job and what do I do, I just looked at him because duh, common sense that if one is a researcher, he/she researches? Hahaha! Then he asked what kind of stuff and all so I answered naman. Before leaving, he also asked if I am single. I said yes. But then he asked if I have a boyfriend, I also said yes. He then pulled the statement and said it was a joke. I know, I know. Kanina pa nanttrip. I was the first one out of us four but I was left as last. Little did I know, it just needs your fingerprints and you are done. Kalerks! Funny cos mom and sissy were so proud that their daughter and sister is a chix. Hiyawan pa hanggang palabas eh. Kakaloka! Hahahahaha! Felt a little flattered because people inside the room thinks I am qt, pretty, attractive, idk tbh but, that. It feels nice that they appreciate you but you know, I realized how much I love Dada too. All these boys might be handsome, nice, and all but I will never leave my man. No one can made me feel, think, and act better than he does. So! Ily, bb! Hihihi. Another GV was the dinner. What a good way to end the day with a good food with a good company. Heart heart, Banapple! Seems Mama is happy cos she treated us. Woohoo, sml!!!!! Since our tummies were happy, did not mind the traffic in staff house. Sissy and I just sang our lungs out. Fun, so much fun! 😂🎉

[mattrossmurray-blog]

Bricktop Sessions | “This State” Re-Release (2013)

PSA: Bricktop Sessions now available here: https://mattrossmurray.bandcamp.com/album/bricktop-sessions-2013

About 5 years ago around this time, I joined forces with a few friends to help record a batch of songs at Bricktop Recording. We made a record over the course of 5 days which included a break-in at the studio and some sweaty evenings. Long story short, we released it under a few band names and performed live once. The band gradually dissolved like many other projects. But, for some reason, this time around, I’d like to expand more on why it’s such a ‘long story.’

Before the Bricktop recording sessions, I collaborated with a rotating cast of friends on new songs that I was writing at the time. Across many basements and garages, I was still inhabiting a very intense mentality about writing and arranging songs. I remember that I used to assign a grade to every single run through of the songs at practices. Although I was being somewhat facetious, looking back, there was some unfortunate truths behind setting such high expectations and pressure on myself and others.   During this period, music was not supposed to be fun. It was a serious endeavor with consequences and idealistic end goals. Coming off a band that had a taste of a little success, I was determined to get back to where I was before as soon as I could. On the one hand, this pushed me to write better songs, but on the other hand, it made the process itself pretty frustrating as I was always dissatisfied. I also cringe at and repress a lot of those memories as I was most likely not too fun to be around in music settings. This is partly the reason as to why I have basically shelved a lot of these songs for the past 5 years. I associate with it an almost unbearable reflection of myself that I don’t want to revisit. I understand this is probably my own exaggerated, subjective self-report of this time…...

Last week a stumbled upon these recordings again. In hindsight, I am really proud with how these came out. So here they are re-released so to speak. I hope y’all enjoy listening to them. The whole record with b-sides and demos can be downloaded or streamed for free on BandCamp.

It is a fairly eclectic set of songs…from the Gin Blossoms-inspired ‘Twenty Days’ to the Jimmy Eat World-sounding ‘Fireworks’ & ‘I Wanted Out.’ There is even a song I recorded back at Bricktop in 2011 called ‘Plans’ that has never been released. Kristen is also a guest vocalist on the songs ‘This State’ and ‘Nothing’s Wrong.’  Adrian S. from The Burst & Bloom shreds some lead guitar licks and Justin S. came up with great drum parts! Justin Pence helped quite a bit with editing these songs down (lyrics and melody) before we went into the studio and sings insanely high back up vocals. The bonus demos include appearances from good friends like Pat Kearns on guitar, Dave Urie on bass and Andy Kearns on drums. Best of all, my Dad laid down the bass on a demo as well!

Sincerely, Matt

[drycoin14-blog]

Chewy Chai Snickerdoodles

Chewy Chai Snickerdoodles

Cookies, Desserts, Fall, Holiday, Quick and Easy, The Holidays

The Year of Cozy came out three years ago. THREE YEARS! That’s insane. Time goes by so quickly. I have to say, I’m so proud of that little book. It’s a little book that could.

This has hands-down been the most-made recipe out of the entire book. These snickerdoodles are delicious. They’re chewy, perfectly spiced with a combination of black pepper, cardamom, ginger and cinnamon. I love giving these away because they have a bit of staying power. They taste delicious even if they’re not straight from the oven.

The chewiness is heavenly. I attribute the cream cheese to their good texture. It’s truly magical in these.

I’m going to be honest and tell you that I don’t drink a ton of dairy milk but man, with these cookies, a glass of milk is SO GOOD.

I love it.

I am a little slow on content this season because I decided to attempt to build a gingerbread estate and now I’m kicking myself because there are a little too many components. I’m nervous I won’t finish it in time but it’s coming along! So many art direction decisions—it’s overwhelming honestly.

I guess I should eat a couple of these cookies and sketch out a game plan.

Chewy Chai-Masala Snickerdoodles

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 40 minutes

Total Time: 50 minutes

Yield: 24 cookies

Ingredients

Snickerdoodles:

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon fine-grain sea salt

1 teaspoon ground ginger

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teas[poon ground cardamom

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

1/4 teaspoon ground allspice

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1 1/2 cups white granulated sugar

2 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature

6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and warm

1/3 cup vegetable oil

1 large egg

2 tablespoons milk

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Sugar + Spice Coating:

1/4 cup white granulated sugar

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Pinch of ground cardamom

Directions

To Make the Snickerdoodles:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, cardamom, cloves, allspice, and pepper.

To the large bowl of a stand mixer, add the sugar, cream cheese, and butter. Beat until light and fluffy, about 1 minute. Add the oil and beat until incorporated. next, add the egg, milk, and vanilla. Continue to beat until smooth. In 2 additions, add the flour mixture, being sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl in between, until just mixed.

To Make the Sugar + Spice Coating:

On a small plate, mix together the sugar, cinnamon, and cardamom. Divide the dough into 24 equal pieces of about 2 tablespoons each (or you can use a medium cookie scoop). Using your hands, roll the dough pieces into balls. Working in batches, roll the balls in the sugar and spice mixture. Using the bottom of a drinking glass, flatten the dough balls into 2” cookies. Sprinkle the tops evenly with some of the remaining sugar + spice mixture.

Bake 1 tray at a time for 11 to 12 minutes, rotating the tray after 7 minutes, or until the edges are set and just beginning to brown. Continue until all the cookies are baked. Let the cookies cool on the baking sheets for 5 minutes. Transfer the cookies to a wire rack and let cool to room temperature before serving.

3.1

https://www.acozykitchen.com/chewy-chai-snickerdoodles/

December 6, 2018 by Adrianna Adarme

Adrianna Adarme

A Cozy Kitchen is a blog written by Adrianna Adarme. Adrianna likes corgis, pancakes and cute things.

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Hi! This is my lil’ corner on da internets called A Cozy Kitchen. I live in Los Angeles, California with my husband Joshua and my corgi Amelia.

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Source: https://www.acozykitchen.com/chewy-chai-snickerdoodles/