#i am finally reading the original book so this is a blend of book and musical Erik ig

[bisexualcauliflower]

Duality of the Phantom

[unrequitedloveletter]

Kaz Brekker x Shy! Fem! Reader Headcanons

All right! This one was requested by @whitejxsmine​ and, in an effort to keep the note short and sweet, I’m going to apologize for how short this set of headcanons is, given how long it took me to see the ask she’d originally sent, and also, raine, if or when you see this, I am so sorry again for how long these took! 

Fic type- this is entirely fluff!

Warnings- one singular mention of death

Kaz is exactly the type of person who literally won’t notice if you don’t talk or are a generally shy person for a few weeks, I would think

He definitely gets lost in his own thoughts a lot and is never really one for words himself so when others are ALSO not talking, it’s not something he picks up on as quickly as someone like Jesper or Nina might 

Even after it gets pointed out to him he’s just like “she’s not one for words. What does it matter?” and that’s kind of just it

he’s also like, super observant so he learns to read your body language pretty quickly, and you end up learning to read the one man who everyone in the Barrel always claims to be unreadable as a result

A lot of your relationship is that, actually. Knowing and understanding each others limits and managing to find good communication even when you’re not in the mood to communicate verbally. 

It’s also a lot of give and take, a lot of “you hurt her, you die” and even more I will glower at you in silence while you threaten his life until you finally get the fucking point

Kaz doesn’t mind that you’re shy and not really outgoing, either. He’s more content at home planning heists as it were and after a while, he literally just expects to find you on the windowsill in his office reading a book. 

Speaking of books, though? Jesper makes fun of him for it but he goes to the bookstore every few weeks and leaves his findings on the bookshelves in his office. 

His goal is ALWAYS to find books he thinks you’ll enjoy because he’s trying to be subtle about wanting you to spend more time with him and he also just can’t really find the words to express it.

SPEAKING OF HIS OFFICE (I know we weren’t but backtracking is a thing that we do from time to time so shhhhh)

Kaz has a coffeemaker in his office. That is established in literally EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FICS because why would he spend kruge on coffee everyday when a coffeemaker is a one time purchase and coffee grounds are a bi-weekly purchase or a monthly purchase if you buy enough in one go? Kazzle Dazzle is smart about his finances and coffee is how he’s capable to run off of so little sleep so of course he’s going to have a coffeemaker

I’m getting sidetracked and before I do, he has a coffeemaker but a few weeks into your relationship he buys an electric kettle (I have no idea if they’d exist in the era that the grishaverse is set in but we’re going to pretend they do) a box of the tea you like, and a mug

If you’re a coffee person rather than a tea person, though, he makes note of what blend you like best and the additives you use for it and buys them whenever he restocks his own

He also gets you a mug if you’re a coffee person (and they say chivalry is dead, but it’s not)

generally, though, your relationship is just really sweet and not one people pick up on a lot because the ways that you show affection as a shy person with an introverted partner aren’t usually grounded in verbalities like “I love you” but more so looks and simple understanding.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/13/2024

writing cover letters like "Market Research Firm 953989464860, will YOU be my Valentine?"

also, a fallout 4 femslash fic for femslash feb

listening

Fresh Blood by the Eels off their 2009 album Hombre Loco. i would say this is another "i think a vampire probably wrote this low, grooving track" but there are several howls featured. wikipedia says it is about a werewolf. this song sounds like it has a simple bassline and simple drums but it knows what it's about. it's probably secretly really complicated but i specced in knowing about fabric, not about music.

it makes me want to ice skate really fast and also sounds like watching broken highway lane dividers go by late at night. fascinating that the back half of the four-plus minute song is fully instrumental. definitely a song for when you are traveling, or perhaps proceeding. spotify

Sun down on the sorry day By nightlights the children pray I know you're probably gettin' ready for bed Beautiful woman get out of my head I'm so tired of the same old crud Sweet baby I need fresh blood

i've been mainlining The Black Keys' album Brothers so it makes sense this popped up on my Discover Weekly spotify playlist

-

reading

in 2015, the year i dropped out of college, the closest comic/weird nerd shit store was a forty minute drive from my house. i bought the first issue of the serialized anthology comics magazine The Island bc i liked the Moebius-esque cover by Brandon Graham, before i knew who either of those artists were or that i liked them. i think it was ten bucks, and having to show my drivers' license really sticks in my brain for some reason. the point i am slowly approaching is that the magazine only ran for fifteen issues, and i didn't buy any other copies bc ten bucks a month was too dear for me, but it was a tremendous incubator for artists i would end up loving. about half the time i stumble across a lovely self-contained book that knocks my socks off i find out it started life in The Island.

All his life, Hank Cho wanted to join the ranks of the Habsec—the rulers of the orbital habitat his people call home. But when he finds a powerful, forbidden weapon from the deep past, a single moment of violence sets his life—and the brutal society of the habitat—into upheaval. Hunted by the cannibalistic Habsec and sheltered by former enemies, Cho finds himself caught within a civil war that threatens to destroy his world. A new barbarian sci-fi adventure by SIMON ROY (PROPHET, JAN'S ATOMIC HEART, Tiger Lung), originally serialized in ISLAND MAGAZINE.

Simon Roy's Habitat asks: do you want to hear a story about a generation ship gone wrong? this is a guy who really knows how to draw mechs and all their fiddly bits and loves doing it, which is a really transferrable skill to lovingly detailing the crumbling brutalist neo-mesoamerican architecture. the Habsec cannibals and their bits and pieces of scavenged armor blend in so well, it's genuinely shocking when we see someone in full, kept up, incredibly colorful armor. gorgeous, gorgeous book. love a fucked up generation ship.

found while perusing the stacks of the library that was closest to a bunch of other admin errands i was running, bc i finally have a tx drivers license and can start collecting tx library cards

-

watching

im also asking myself why the hell i'm watching yellowstone with my bestie and her husband. it has every trigger warning and a lot of them would make me decline the experience had i looked them up beforehand. however, the inevitablilty of each little tragedy feeding into the circular threshing maw that is the Dutton family is really clicking for me. like well! that mom sure did die in the most traumatizing way possible! and wow that really does go a long way toward explaining why the daughter is self-medicating to an alarming degree AND why no one else is doing anything about it bc they're all still mad at her for being very tangential to her mom's death!

the amount of Stuff that happens per episode is truly astonishing. one of my favorite parts of the ttrpg Beamsaber is the downtime between missions, bc you get to have some really bonkers interactions with people who don't usually interact. despite its huge cast, Yellowstone doesn't yet feel incoherent or like it's jumped the shark in its first season bc it's really successful at getting its huge cast to have unexpected interactions with each other. this sounds a little bit like praising it for knowing how to be good television, but this is a neowestern about a land grab that's also a familial dynasty drama that's really leaning into the familial dynasty part of it. it would be very easy for this to become incoherent or bad at switching between storylines, but so far it's really good at it. it's not beamsaber or black sails bc nothing will ever be beamsaber or black sails but it's really scratching that itch of many small rapidly shifting factions and rapidly shifting political goals bc each child is their own horrible little faction and they have a lot of time where they're trapped in cars or helicopters together getting around their ranch, which is simply too large.

we're trying to watch the yellowstone franchise in release order, and the yellowstone prequel with tim mcgraw came out between the first and second seasons. we will not be continuing this. this is a bog standard wagon train western. cripplingly boring after the brazen insanity of the first season. also i think it is in poor taste at best and irresponsible at worst to show a suicide on screen.

i said i don't know why i'm watching this but i do know why i'm watching yellowstone, and that's bc my bestie keeps seeing tiktoks about it. sometimes im influenced in real life

-

playing

changed my sheets this week and didn't chortle at the TOP OR BOTTOM tag which is how i know im having. a brain time. another way you can tell im having a brain time are these screenshots of the Breath of the Wild map. as you may or may not remember from last week, last week i had very little of the map filled out.

now is this EXPLORED? good heavens no. i have under 40 shrines DISCOVERED. i have simply beelined to each tower and went VERY fast. or was very sneaky. the three towers i have not bothered to climb yet are the ones i would have to actually fight some guys about. fuck the akkala tower for real.

i love to accidentally get way too close to dragons and die. some fun things about this run: incredibly, exceptionally rainy. except for the stint in the literal desert and the five minutes in the snowfield it has been raining about 70% of the time, which has made climbing very annoying. another fun thing about this run: exceptionally low ancient shaft drop rate, which makes getting ancient arrows to safely kill guardians from afar very difficult. bc as discussed above i have optimized this little blond boy to be very fast and very sneaky to get up the towers very quickly in the two minute spans of time it is not raining.

another fun thing about this run: not very good at successfully spitting out riders next to horses. you can only see the tip of spinch's hat bc he is underground.

i have unlocked the elephant and the falcon, i haven't gotten much farther than finding painkillers for the goron boss and stalled out at the yiga clan stealth mission. bc despite liking being a sneaky fast sniper out in the world, i fucking hate an enforced stealth mission. i don't think i ever got past this part in my other run either.

not jacked enough to unlock the master sword, i think you need twelve hearts? i would rather have more stamina so i can get faster horses + the princess's horse.

after i unlocked a bunch of towers i spent a goofy amount of time in the Lake Floria system herself hunting for treasure chests (there are easily fifty chests in the water. wild) to get the 10k rupees to unlock the last great fairy. i also spent several real-life hours video game mining video game ore. this was deeply annoying bc i sold off all my gems to get 10k rupees and then had nothing to get those sweet sweet high level upgrades with. this was the point on sunday night where i realized i was getting irrationally annoyed with a game that is supposed to be fun, and is NOT meant to support the kind of grinding i was doing. that was enough video game for one day thank you.

did you know there's a korok in the shrine of resurrection? me either.

also did you know magnesis ACTIVATES on the windmills in Hebra but i can't figure out how to get close enough to any of them to do anything about it. annoying.

this has got to be so funny from ganons point of view. i unlocked the elephant and the falcon in under a week of in-game time and then spent several in-game months mining and collecting clothes. would that make ganon more or less anxious d'you think

making

cross stitch update. this confetti in the rover square. i am dying. here’s what it will look like finished, and a link to buy the pattern

i had such high hopes for pin stitches as a thread finishing method but i had to rip out a mistake near a pin stitch and accidentally ripped out the entire pin and single confetti cross stitch. so what the fuck. i am an insane woman who likes to fully submerge and lightly hand wash projects before they get framed to remove all the oils (yes i wash my hands before stitching, i do get paranoid) and i am not confident pin stitches will hold up to that. oh well. the loop method is pretty great in halving the number of ends i have to weave in, even though i feel like it is extremely wasteful and leaves me with lots of short useless lengths my cats would love to eat. so the gains from halving thread management are really not offset by the meticulous cat management i must embark upon every time i do my fun relaxing hobby.

and the back, which is a horror. and will only become more of a horror. but once this is framed no one will actually see it so it's FINE. i am FINE with this. i started this knowing there was going to be lots of confetti. that's the point of this masochistic pattern

i wrote the first chapter of this fic last summer and outlined the emotional beats (but not much else) while procrastinating moving and have finally lightly polished the first chapter and threw it on the archive. im trying to let things molder less and just fucking post them in the hopes this activates the writing part of my brain again but who could say what's going on up there. this is still something that hasn't quite returned to me post-covid round 2

this will eventually be an E-rated 5+1 fic fixing all the fucking bullshit around Cait Fallout4's companion quest. she will NOT go in the magic chair that tortures her into not being a junkie and being the perfect waifu. she is going to stumble backwards and accidentally into some harm reduction and get railed by a mean top. the mean top and the harm reduction won't fix her but they certainly won't hurt.

[randomfoggytiger]

Mulder: Jewish and Religious References (and His S8 Funeral)

Is Mulder Jewish?

Canonically, it's never explicitly stated; and, intriguingly, there are more hints that Mulder had a Christian background than a Jewish one (though he later became an atheist, agnostic, or a fluctuating blend before meeting Scully.) Although these hints abound, Scully's strict Catholic beliefs are completely alien to him: meaning, whatever religious exposure he had was either loose, lax, or only served as a distant backdrop in his day-to-day childhood.

Chris Carter clarified that the name "Mulder" was of Dutch origin (literally: he took the name from his Dutch uncle, here); and (according to Google) Tena's maiden name Kuiper was of Dutch origin as well. However, because ancestry, heritage, or culture for Mulder didn't seem to be Chris's focus then (and doesn't now), in the absence of communication or specificity (or interest) David Duchovny played Mulder as a Jew by default.

On the other hand, Jewish show writer Howard Gordan-- the man who wrote Kaddish-- stated that he didn't believe Mulder was Jewish "or even half-Jewish"; and set Mulder up as an outsider to the culture-- not knowing Jewish customs or being able to read Hebrew or to even identify a Jewish book-- as well as equipping him with a joke about Jesus and the resurrection from the dead. Vince Gilligan, meanwhile, wrote a few (deleted) lines wherein Mulder owned his heritage while sniping at Crump:

Crump: You know... what kinda name is Mulder, anyway? What is that, like, Jewish?

Mulder: Excuse me?

Crump: Jewish. It is, right?

Mulder: No it's not, yes I am....

The conclusion? Nowhere in canon is Mulder or his family's cultural background confirmed; but his vulnerable moments with religion show him kneeling in a Christian church or being buried by a (I think?) nondenominational minister who reads from the Christan New Testament text. Bill Mulder was buried by a separate, more formally attired minister; leading me to assume that Mulder's only exposure to religion was from his father's side (and would explain the ending of Conduit.) Perhaps Tena arranged Bill's affairs and buried him according to her own beliefs-- we never saw (to my recollection) Tena's funeral, so we'll never know how she chose to be buried-- and perhaps Scully copy-pasted Tena's funeral plans and called up whoever officiated her funeral to do so again for Mulder's funeral. Not to mention S8's ridiculous brain disease: if Mulder accepted he was terminally ill and bought a headstone, then he would have had to set his final plans in place ahead of time-- including who officiated (but since I reject that plotline entirely, it's more logical that Scully would be doing what she could with whatever scraps she was left with.)

I think, like The X-Files itself, this mystery is a blend ultimately created from a lack of confirmation in any particular direction.

(And on an unrelated note: if, as I suspect, there were any ties to Jewish culture from Tena's upline, then that could be used to disprove and further explain The Field Where I Died: Mulder could have been meshing his mother's or her family's past into this messy regression therapy session, illuminating why the episode was not only canonically unbalanced but also made no sense, period.)

As always, the Truth is out there, but so are unsolvable questions.

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

[mintywolf]

So okay here are the notes on my overly-intricate, still-unwritten CR Daemon AU

The catalyst was mainly me thinking about how absolutely unsettling Pâté would be in a universe where everyone has talking animal companions that are an extension of their soul. Matilda lost hers (a rat named Patter), so the major part of everyone’s fear and distrust of her is not that she looks off, but an instinctive, soul-deep dread and disgust because she has no daemon.* So, to blend in better and to alleviate her own crushing loneliness, Laudna (who has renamed herself because she doesn’t feel like the same person anymore without him) started carrying around a dead rat and pretending he talks. :(

(*apparently.)

And Imogen is the first person in a very long time to regard her with compassion rather than horror. She’s still weirded out by her lack of daemon but once she finds out how she lost him she’s very upset and angry on her behalf. Her daemon (a tressym) is more sympathetic than she is at first and wants to approach and comfort her because she’s so distressed that Laudna doesn’t have a daemon, about which Imogen is initially a little jealous, but once it sinks in for her how absolutely lonely she’s been and for how long (and maybe after they’ve gotten to know each other a little better unless this is like, how they came to understand each other’s soul so well) Imogen’s daemon voluntarily breaks the taboo by letting Laudna touch her. (Out of politeness she also gives Pâté a little nose boop but he kind of freaks her out.)

Now originally this was just going to be a sweet little oneshot about Imogen and her daemon finding a daemon-less weirdo in her garden shed and showing her the first kindness she’s seen in 30 years but I am just incapable of NOT getting overly involved in the Briarwoods backstory, haha.

Sooo back in Vox Machina era Ripley, under the Briarwoods, was doing experiments on Dust and daemons and discovered that the burst of energy released by severing someone from their daemon could be used to open a temporary gate into another world. They pointed her research in that direction, intending to use that power to draw the Whispered One into Exandria. Meanwhile Delilah, intrigued by the severing, started doing experiments of her own on unsuspecting castle staff and citizens of Whitestone. The subjects that didn’t die immediately without their daemons became obedient, soulless thralls that were easy to command, if short-lived (so this is this universe’s equivalent of necromancy) but it wasn’t quite what she was looking for. She wanted to become immortal by separating her daemon (a wolf* ) from herself so that it could travel far distances from her and persist after her death to attach itself to a new vessel. (*originally I had Delilah’s daemon as a pine marten because despite having read the books numerous times I always forget that Pan doesn’t settle as an ermine, he ends up a pine marten too. I chose it because they are elegant and auburn and devious and apparently have a pleasant scent. But it’s kind of a rare animal in fiction so I didn’t want to copy the book that closely even in an au based on it. A wolf is kind of a too-generic animal for her but there’s a reason it’s a wolf.) So poor Matilda and the others were invited to the castle “for study,” which led her to believe that Delilah had taken an interest in her magical abilities and was going to become her tutor but alas. :( The other six and their daemons in the study died outright and though Matilda survived the severing, Patter died shortly afterwards, so Delilah, getting impatient because of the approach of VM, considered her a failed attempt and abandoned her, not realizing that Matilda’s own magic had caused her Dust to cling to her and retained some scraps of her personality and agency so she was more than an empty husk like the other thralls.

Making some final adjustments, she tried it again on Cassandra de Rolo, and this time it worked. Cass was severed from her daemon, which survived, leaving Cass under Delilah’s control while she had her daemon imprisoned. Finally she performed the severing on herself, but her magic and its resentment at being parted from her caused her own daemon to become corrupted by the ritual. (So idk maybe it even started out as a pine marten but ended up . . . that. Vax’s daemon started out as a snake but changed into a raven when he became the Matron’s champion and Percy’s daemon was mutated by Orthax so settled daemons being forced into a new shape under extreme duress is possible in this au. I kind of like the wolf —> Hound of Ill Omen foreshadowing though.) Meanwhile VM were on their way. Percy knew that Ripley was doing some kind of nefarious Science under the Briarwoods but they didn’t know exactly what yet. Then they were suddenly attacked by an extremely messed up looking wolf, which took back Delilah’s stolen grimoire and escaped and they were all like wtfffff because they’d never seen a daemon without a person nearby before and it’s extremely unsettling. Especially one that looks like THAT. So they knew something bad was going on in Whitestone even before they got there and saw all the daemon-less people shambling around pathetically. So even though the plan to open a gate for the Whispered One was foiled (temporarily) by VM, her other experiment worked — she was able to send her daemon far away from herself before she was killed and it moved on to her clones, prolonging her life for another year. After Vox Machina finally burned through all of those as well it went off in search of a new vessel and eventually found Laudna but, unable to bond with her like a regular daemon, it forced its way in. So her Hound of Ill Omen is Delilah’s old daemon, gnawing at her ribs, resentful of Delilah for separating them but resentful of her for not being Delilah, whispering promises of power if she will just accept it as her own.

[ofliterarynature]

DECEMBER 2023 WRAP UP

[loved liked ok no thanks (reread) book club*]

Mixed Magics • Chalice • To Shape a Dragon's Breath • The Haunting Season • Hither Page • The Henchmen of Zenda • System Collapse • The Phantom of the Opera • An Unexpected Peril • A Minor Chorus* • The September House • (The Dream Thieves) • The Fragile Threads of Power • The Pinhoe Egg • (Network Effect) • Some Desperate Glory

total: 16 (audiobook: 12 / ebook: 4)

Happy New Year booklr! Here's to actually getting my last monthly wrap-up post of 2023 out in decent time for once.

Some Desperate Glory - I'm getting myself off to a bad start here because I don't actually remember much from the book and I didn't write a review at the time. oops. But I do remember that once things got going I was hooked, and I couldn't wait to pick the audiobook back up. Definitely some content warnings to look out for, but an incredible read. I definitely need to go back and check out the author's other work.

Network Effect - the last book of my Murderbot reread, still great, glad to have finally read this in a text format! Also better suited to be read *after* Fugitive Telemetry, I wish I'd known to read them in chronological order the first time.

The Pinhoe Egg - a nice wrap up to the main Chrestomanci series! Though if anyone can tell me why on eARTH the 'recommended' reading order is like *that*, please explain it to me. I'd forgotten so many things by the time we got back to Cat, if I ever reread I'm going chronologically.

The Fragile Threads of Power - lord help me, I could do a whole rant. A quick summary of my relationship to this series: loved Shades of Magic when it first came out, did not love/was very annoyed by most of it when I reread them in 2023. Also have not really liked any of Schwab's other work. BUT. I was under the impression that this spinoff would have new main characters, and the old ones would be present but not in the center. If I didn't just make this up, it was LIES. The original MC's still dominate probably at least 60% of the book, and you'd think 7 years in-book and more experience on behalf of the writer would mature them, but a) no, and b) so many goddamn flashbacks. And Kel's assasin-sona was so cringe I wanted to cry. I did actually like the new main character which really is the biggest shame of all. If you see me contemplating the next book please stop me.

The Dream Thieves - I don't know that I have much to add yet to my thoughts about TRB in my Nov post, but I've been having a very strange experience where when I'm actively reading these, I'm having an incredibly good time; when I'm not I completely forget I was reading it. lol?

The September House - this is possibly the closest to my ideal horror book that I've ever found??!!? I have a weird relationship with horror, wherein I am not uninterested, but I almost never enjoy the ones I read (I think it has to do with my irl anxiety, idk). But THIS one. It's such an INCREDIBLE blend of like, mundane horrors and dark humor? I loved it. The "you can live with the horrors if you just follow the rules" is very much my vibe, and the way the author chose to have it integrate with the main character's experiences of domestic abuse was very smart. Deeply enjoyed, but probably won't be a favorite.

A Minor Chorus - this month's book club pick! I really really wish I'd liked this, and I'm torn between "thank god it was short," and "oh I wish this was longer." It's about a queer Indigenous doctoral student in Canada who's somewhat lost his way on his dissertation and is instead writing a novel (maybe), inspired by the stories of people in his community. On one hand, the writing was sometimes very beautiful and the different stories were interesting! On the other, my academic-speak abilities are limited, and the narrator did not hold back. He even explicitly states at one point, oh I can't describe my book this way to [character] because he won't understand my academic language. And...yeah. My brain got a little overwhelmed and I skimmed a lot of those parts. The hopeful part of me thinks if that if the book had been longer maybe I would have had time to "get it," but idk.

An Unexpected Peril - Veronica Speedwell is as Veronica Speedwell does. Had a good time with this even though it's proving to not be the most memorable. Mostly I remember intensely panicking over whether or not V had practiced forging the princess's signature, lol.

The Phantom of the Opera - this was a last minute sub for my classics challenge; I've never seen any of the adaptations, but I happened to see the book on tumblr when I was scrambling for a replacement and thought it might be fun. And it was! Quite ridiculous and dramatic, and I had a good time reading it. I was surprised by the outsider POV on the story, but it was good, just a shame that it didn't allow Christine to tell her own story. If anyone has a Christine-centered retelling I should read, let me know! And are there any adaptations I should watch?

System Collapse - new Murderbot! I was so excited for this, I'm irritated that my brain and work schedule didn't want to cooperate and let me read my nice pretty hardcover; I ended up getting the audiobook from the library instead. I had an incredible time, because it's Murderbot, how could I not? But it's also interesting, because Network Effect felt quite cohesive and contained on its own, but this feels very much like an in-between story (almost like Fugitive Telemetry), rather than a continuation of the same thread. I'll be interested to see where Martha takes us from here.

The Henchmen of Zenda - my last KJ Charles of the year! I did mean to get through all of her books, but things slipped by me these last few months so I still have a couple, but managed to fit this standalone in! It's not the only time she's pulled characters from works of classic fiction, and I admit, I'm now very curious and kind of want to read the original Prisoner of Zenda? Definitely this version had an exciting plot that was fun to read, though I don't think it'll be my favorite of her works (yay for a non-traditional relationship structure tho :)

Hither, Page - I don't think I've read Cat Sebastian before, but I've had this one recommended and it sounds right up my ally - historical/cozy myster/spy shenanigans/gay romance! And it was an incredibly pleasant read, would recommend, but I do think it could have been better as both a mystery and a romance.

The Haunting Season - I almost picked this up in October for spooky season, but put if off for Dec since it's meant to be wintery ghost stories - and only just remembered it in time! I almost wish I hadn't. The first two stories were so meh for me that I almost DNF'd it, I just didn't want the fuss of having to find a new audiobook for work the last day before Christmas break. Luckily Natasha Pulley showed up next with a good story (I really ought to read her books) and there was a good run of 4 stories with another 2 meh to round things out. It wasn't a total loss, but I wouldn't really recommend.

To Shape a Dragon's Breath - If you've seen people singing the praises of this book, they're not wrong! It's a very good if sometimes heavy read, and this is definitely the closest I've gotten to liking a boarding school story since Protector of the Small (I got burned out on them very quickly, lol). It does sometimes read like the debut it is, it's not perfect (lots of infodump speeches, lord save me from the technicalities of alchemy/chemistry, and I would have liked to see more done in her relationship with her dragon), but it's also doing some incredible and unique things that really make me want to see more books in this series and whatever else the author writes.

Chalice - I've read Robin Mckinley before and I've found her work ok, but this one has been repeatedly recommended in the HOTE discord server - I figured it would be a good one to wrap up the year with! And surprise surprise, the fealty-coded discord loves a book about... fealty XD and good stewardship, and magic bees, etc. It's incredibly on brand, and I had a lovely time with this fairy-tale of a book.

Mixed Magics - a collection of Chrestomanci short stories; I actually read one of the stories a few months ago due to the recommended reading order (bleh), and thought it would be fairly simple to finish it off before the end of the year, now that I'd finished the rest of the series. All fun, if not equally interesting, and a nice end to the year. Now I just need to find a new Diana Wynne Jones series to try (not on audiobook, alas, my library is all out of those).

(I did almost consider then binging the Hither, Page sequel on new year's eve, just so I wouldn't split the series, but decided against it :D)

[captainninej]

shadow and bone season 2 thoughts!!

me and my sister finally finished season 2 of shadow and bone last night and HOLY SHIT. despite everyone shitting on it for some reason, i actually fucking loved it!! there were some absolutely incredible moments and overall i think they did a really good job blending the books; some decisions i may have slight reservations about but i can see the logic behind each of them from a writing perspective (except for maybe one of them, which i'll talk about later). every single character got their moment and i don't think anyone can say that there was a single flaw on the acting side. these actors BECAME their characters and we are so so lucky we got such an amazing cast, who care about their characters this much!!

SPOILERS BELOW

things i liked:

Alina's storyline. i actually have not read the original trilogy past halfway through siege & storm, but i know what happens in the books and how her story ends. jessie mei li gave alina her absolute all in this season and i thought she did an incredible job. i like how she got a bit messy and power-hungry, doubted herself and her leadership, snapped a few times. her reaction to mal being the third amplifier absolutely broke my heart AND THE SCENE IN THE FOLD WHERE THEY KISS AND IT ALL TURNS RED AND GLOWING WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. i also like how she's part of the grisha triumvirate (though david in my view 100% deserved to be there :( ) because her ending in the books to me would be really unsatisfying. she didn't go through all that shit to become a housewife. ALSO THE ENDING??? HER GOING KINDA BAT SHIT??? EVIL ALINA??? since i haven't read the books i actually don't know if this actually happened at some stage BUT I KIND OF LOVE IT FOR HER. i think if they can pull it off (and give me white haired alina i will die on this hill) it could be super cool, and not something we see in media very often, especially with female leads. without mal to ground her, i want to see how dark she can get.

Mal!!! someone is going to send me a death threat for this (which is very messed up how liking a character can cause someone to do that) but FUCK IT i like mal. i really love the humanity archie gives him, and his own little moments like paying the shop owner in novyi zem and bantering with nikolai. also his morozova storyline was done really well, and you can see how crushing it is for him to realise that he has to die for alina to succeed. also his outfits idk just really suit him? he really grounded alina throughout the season and i'm honestly not sure why it's a crime to like him. i think he's severely underrated and will hopefully be appreciated more in the years to come, just like how peeta was dragged for years but now everyone is starting to see how wonderful he always was. i also did not see his ending coming, but i really like it now that i think about it. his character has always been so attached to alina, and like he said, now that the morozova side of him is gone, he doesn't know who he is. while it was sad to see him say that he doesn't know if he loves alina anymore, i also really respect the 'choice not destiny' thing and how he wants to make sure that he loves her for her, beyond the amplifier bond they shared. it's been a common theme throughout his story that he's been forced to be a soldier his whole life, but has always just wanted to explore the world and now he gets to do that!! i like the idea of mal having his own adventures and his own leadership role beyond alina, and i think their relationship will be better for it.

NIKOLAI LANTSOV. listen my friend has been simping for this man since high school AND I UNDERSTAND WHY NOW. i've read the KoS duology and adored him but PATRICK FUCKING GIBSON LITERALLY ROSE RIGHT FROM THOSE PAGES AND BECAME NIKOLAI. i hope the girlies who trashed his casting are very embarrassed right now, this man was BORN to play nikolai. he was my highlight of the season and i think i am in love now. he fit in with the s1 cast seamlessly and provided the perfect bridge between the crows and the s&b gang. i am a little upset we didn't get any interactions between him and zoya, but we got some hints AND the demon king tease so i'm willing to wait for it in season 3 (another reason i will be fucking furious if this amazing show is cancelled).

KANEJ. KANEJJJJJJJJ. i, along with many others, was TERRIFIED that netflix would butcher their relationship. there were a few moments (the hallucination scene, the bandage scene, etc) that i couldn't even enjoy because i was so scared they would kiss or something. BUT they didn't, and now i can go back and actually enjoy the scenes because they did them so well!! they were perfectly in character and honoured the books amazingly. their bond was strengthened so much this season AND THE FINAL SCENE IN THE CHAPEL THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS JUST SAYING THE WORDS ALONG WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY WERE RIGHT FROM THE BOOK!!!! freddy and amita CARRIED and their chemistry is so good sometimes i felt like i needed to look away omg

kaz being the messy, anti-hero bitch he was born to be. i think a lot of people who haven't read six of crows who watched season 1 didn't really get the fuss about kaz, but i think they do now. they really masterfully unpacked his character and freddy absolutely blew it out of the water with his acting. they really did kaz justice and somehow ended up adapting crooked kingdom before six of crows but i get why they did, the ice court heist needs to be its own focus, and the parts from crooked kingdom that they cherry picked for this season were purely for character development that was really needed for the crows. i liked how the audience was left guessing just how far he would go, like the scene with albie. AND THE SCENE WITH PEKKA IN EPISODE FOUR HAD MY JAW ON THE FLOOR, IT WAS PERFECT. also him hating on wesper was fucking funny, and his dynamic with nina was EVERYTHING I WANTED

GENYA SAFIN MY BELOVED. this entire season had me rooting for her and wanting to jump into the screen and give her a gun. daisy head CARRIED, she did such an amazing job and had me literally sobbing. genya's story is so devastating but she's such a powerful and kind character who really got to be in the spotlight this season. she and nikolai and zoya are my favourite og trilogy characters, and HER AND DAVID WERE SO FUCKING CUTE SHE DESERVES ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD.

nina!!! danielle galligan absolutely nailed nina's energy and her being added to the crows at last was worth the wait. i love how she outsmarted the others and just got shit done.

we sadly didn't get as much zoya in this season as i wished however i ate up every scene she was in and screamed when she said she could fix nikolai lmao

WESPER MY BELOVED THEIR SCENES WERE SO CUTE AND WERE LIKE LITTLE POPS OF HAPPINESS AMONG ALL THE CHAOS HAPPENING THIS SEASON. the piano scene?? them under the cart during the shoot out?? them fighting in shu han and then wylan telling him he was the first person he wanted to tell about the butterflies?? i am on the FLOOR

WYLAN. wylan stepped right out of the books and he was GLORIOUS. jack wolfe nailed his energy, and i loved the details they included - like how he labelled his bottles with music so he could read them!! he and kit had incredible chemistry and i loved the conflict they had about jesper's grisha abilities and wylan's dyslexia, it felt really true to the books. ALSO HIM BEING SO EXCITED ABOUT THE BUTTERFLIES and then feeding them to the crew LMAO i will protect him at all costs.

tolya and tamar!!!! they were so fucking cool!!!!

the hallucination scene, for all the characters

the little hints to king of scars!! the bee landing on zoya's arm!! thought that was really clever

I WILL HAVE YOU WITHOUT YOUR ARMOUR KAZ BREKKER OR I WILL NOT HAVE YOU AT ALL. MY GIRL SAID I AINT FIXING YOU FIX YOURSELF

the beautiful colour alina's powers turned when she connected to mal and destroyed the fold

'i'm sorry, did you say mal is a bird?'

'everyone's lost their minds'

did i mention nikolai because nikolai

the costumes??? were so fucking gorgeous??? i couldn't take my eyes off them everyone looked AMAZING

THE ENDING HAD MY JAW ON THE FLOOR. I DID NOT SEE IT COMING AT ALL, I THOUGHT WE WOULD GET IDK SOME SEMI-HAPPY ENDING WITH THE CHARACTERS LEFT OPEN ENDED BUT HOLY SHIT IT WAS SUCH A GOOD CLIFFHANGER and a perfect segue into both six of crows and king of scars!!! it also makes sense timeline wise that it would happen, so i'm really happy with it and can't wait to see what they do with it!!

things i did not like

...wesper. or more specifically, the way they did wesper. i really don't see wylan as someone who would be going out having one night stands with people?? this was the writing choice i didn't get. idk, it just felt really out of character for him and it also just removed all of the tension from jesper and wylan's relationship. no 'just girls?', no 'i kind of like your stupid face', none of the pining that was so crucial to their relationship in the books. don't get me wrong, there were moments i loved, but the foundations of their relationship in the show were a weird choice that's only just balanced with the sheer joy of seeing them onscreen together.

matthias. mans spent all eight episodes in literal jail. with all the promo and stuff with the six of them, i really thought we were going to get all six of them onscreen together this season!! i think it was a waste to just keep him locked up, sometimes i forgot he was even there until they randomly cut to him in hellgate. idk with everything else going on this season they couldn't have let calahan skogman out of the prison set and have one scene with any of the characters?? i really feel like they wasted him here and i get that they're going to break him out for the ice court heist, but surely there could have been room for him with the other characters somehow this season.

alina and nikolai getting married and going through with the engagement??? PLEASE i do NOT want them together, not married, not nothing. i like how they had a *few* suggestive moments, but that was sort of enough. zoyalai is one of the best ships and i really don't want alina to be in the middle of them. i like their friendship but the idea of them actually getting married is just not it for me. i can see them like getting married but then nikolai and zoya falling for each other, if they can manage that then fine but it takes away the focus from zoya and nikolai and idk if i'm about that

DAVID. my boy did NOT deserve to die so early. his scenes with genya were so sweet AND THE STEEL PART FROM THE BOOKS HAD ME WEEPING. i'm really holding on to the fact that we didn't see his body and that genya couldn't feel his heartbeat because she wasn't amplified by baghra because fuck i want him to live and marry genya like he deserves. i am okay with being delusional

WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT LOOK WAS BETWEEN TOLYA AND INEJ GET RID OF IT I HATE IT

i can see why people are frustrated that they took a lot of crooked kingdom elements and put them before the ice court heist. the feud with pekka rollins was crucial to kaz's motivation to even go to fjerda. inej leaving (on a ship that kaz did not buy for her hmmmm) with mal to hunt slavers, how is she going to rejoin the crows? wesper already being together. i can see why they did these things but i can also see why readers would question it. i guess it's just switching the order of things, we'll see...

it did seem rushed - but i think the reason people are really noticing it is because of how slow season 1 was. don't get me wrong, i love season 1, but they really faithfully adapted book 1 of shadow and bone across the entire season; compared to season 2 where they adapted siege & storm, ruin & rising, and elements of the lives of the saints, crooked kingdom, six of crows and king of scars. i honestly think if they shaved off a couple of characters - like that annoying tidemaker chick, pekka rollins even, vasily - there would have been a bit of breathing room. it sort of felt like BAM massive thing happens and then BAM switching to the next scene with a different set of characters. i understand again why they did it - they don't know if they're getting a third season - but it does stand out as a bit of a flaw.

maybe this is a personal thing, but i kind of like how king of scars moved away from alina and mal's story to focus on the other characters. i completely understand why they've kept alina and mal in the show - they're the two main leads, and to get rid of archie and jessie would be sad - but now that their story is more or less finished, i hope alina doesn't take up too much of what is going to be king of scars. i am 100% down to see her evil era and her white hair, but i also want there to be room for the other characters beyond just alina and i'm curious to see if they'll be able to pull that off with her still around.

for all the fuss about the fold, it being gone within the first ten minutes of the finale was kind of funny lol

overall i really loved this season despite a couple of gripes, and i don't see why everyone is being so shitty about it. yes it's not accurate to the books, but i think more importantly it's really accurate to the characters and that's what matters!!! ALSO PLEASE KEEP STREAMING BECAUSE IF WE DON'T GET A SEASON 3 WE WILL NEVER SEE ZOYALAI OR THE ICE COURT HEIST OR THE ACTUAL SIX OF CROWS COMING TOGETHER MATTHIAS WILL STAY IN JAIL FOREVER DO IT FOR THEMMMM

[zooophagous]

The Van Helsing Institute had stood for over a hundred years. Parts of it had been changed, added, rearranged, even demolished- but while the shifting sands of time had combined different design philosophies on the site, Some original bits were still visibile, if you squint. The library was among the older parts of the building; and unlike the other sections of the grounds, had not been covered over with linoleom and white paint and heavy duty low pile office carpet in an effort to become more clean and utilitarian.

At least, it had not been covered over completely. The doors were large, heavy double doors, in solid wood, with deep ornamental panels. They lacked electronic locks. Instead, a heavy push-bar had replaced the once ornate brass fixtures (which yet remained, though without latches) and locked in place with the use of a hex-key. The ungraceful blend of a decorated, beautiful history and the necessary functions of a grinding modern beaurocracy had left the building looking the part of Frankenstein's monster. In that, though it was meant to be beautiful, certain concessions had to be made to make sure it was even alive.

Strauss stood behind Ursula while she fumbled with a ring of keys so immense they could have constituted a weapon, in a pinch. She flicked through them rapidly, growing frustrated, while he hung back awkwardly waiting for the library doors to open.

"I appreciate your time, Frau Harker."

"You had better. You don't get enough reading from your college courses already?"

"Introduction to biology 102 does not cover vampires, I am afraid."

Ursula rolled her eyes. "Ah, here's the damn thing." She huffed as finally, the correct key was produced. "Now. Before we go in, I will brief you on the ground rules. Anything in a case requires gloves to handle and may only be read on the table in the sealed room. Many of these books are one of a kind items, so please do utilize a digitized copy if one exists, to avoid damage to the materials. It goes without saying there is to be no food or drink, no animals and no smoking in the library."

"I detest smoking, Frau Harker. It is a vile habit and the smell lingers."

"Good. I don't need to worry about that much from you, then. Follow me and do try not to touch anything."

Strauss stood on the balls of his feet and eagerly peered in over Ursula's head to catch a glimpse at the coveted trove that now opened like the tomb of Tutankhamun before him. He felt a rush of stale air that carried with it the smell of old books- glue and paper and hide and vellum and ink and... mothballs? No doubt some of the organic items in here were subject to decay.

The inside of the library was more beautiful than the rest of the hall. Places of knowledge and culture often had the privilege of being allowed to be pretty- though often merely because such places rarely had the budget to update with the times even if they wished it. There were tall shelves, stacked with books and encyclopedias and compendiums. There were cases of glass, some on tables and some along the wall, containing a few of the more visually impressive specimens in the Van Helsing collection. The main floor of the library however was not exempt from the scourge of ugly utilitarianism, and most of the material was stored and catalogued in large grey-green metal filing cabinets that filled the space in rows, as well as a small bay of painfully out of date (which even Strauss recognized) computers. The ornate stamped ceiling of the space was marred with criss-cross pipes of a fire suppression system.

"This is the research library. Most of our students get access to this space when they become level 3. This is where you will find any and all reading material and records. The back room that way is the medical library, which contains physical specimens such as skeletal remains, finger print records and x-rays. I will ask you not to go back there until after you have passed your lab classes, Mr. Strauss."

Strauss shuddered. "That is fine. I am not interested in looking at my dead kin this evening anyways." He wrapped his arms protectively around his midsection, looking nervous. "I am curious if you can help me find a specific item- a natural history volume by an author called the Hierophant."

"Oh? What do you know of the Hierophant?"

He froze. He wasn't expecting to be questioned, and he was not a practiced liar. An answer came so naturally he wondered how he did it. "I was once a very studious explorer of the occult, Frau Harker. The name came up once or twice. If any library has it, this must be it."

She shrugged and accepted his answer. "Yes, as a matter of fact, we do. The Hierophant's Natural History is actually required reading for our first year students. Do you want the translated textbook version, or the original Latin?"

"Both. I will cross check as I see fit."

"Alright. Please take a seat and I will bring it to you. I would rather not have you rifling around for things in my library if it's all the same to you."

He nervously found himself to one of the long tables.  He looked around the room and soaked in what he could- trying to find where the records might be stored. With Ursula there it would be harder to just take what he wanted for reading, and he felt she would be resistant to just handing records over. It would be especially suspicious to simply name drop 'Sylvain Pietra' casually. No. He would have to find a way in later, a way to find that on his own. The sheer volume of things to see in the library was distracting. His gaze stopped and lingered on a very old silk cape hanging in a protective glass case on the wall. It had an ornate bat motif embroidered into it that must have been very colorful at one time. The edges of the fabric were disturbingly slightly burned. He turned away from it and looked pointedly at the floor instead.

He was snapped out of his distracted state by the heavy 'thunk!' of a pair of large textbooks dropped onto the table.

"If you are unfamiliar with the Hierophant, I recommend the textbook first before diving in to the original. It provides some history on the author that the main text doesn't have. I trust you don't need help reading it."

"No, danke. I can make do with these fine."

"Good, because I can't read Latin and I'm not going to learn for you. This area is kept under video surveillance, so don't go screwing with things as soon as my back is turned. When you're finished, come find me in my office and I'll lock up. I'll be watching you Strauss."

He felt himself relax as she made her way out. Cameras eh? Hmm. That would make going through the records harder than he thought, even with her gone. No matter. That odd woman who'd stolen a horse right out from under him had instructed him to start with the Hierophant, and that much he could do.

The textbook seemed to have been written for stupid people. Given that it was for American college students, perhaps that was to be expected. It was at least easy to parse. Seldom did he find the answers he wanted simply written down somewhere in plain English.

"The Hierophant was among the first ever recorded vampire scientists, and remains among the most influential. Their true name, background, and indeed much about them at all has been lost to time. Their work remains all the evidence they ever existed, and it was all signed under the pen name of 'The Hierophant.' Whether this is a title of importance or a name chosen by the author is unknown.

The works of the Hierophant date back to as early as 204 A.D. and the record ends at 523 A.D. at which point it is believed the author was slain. Their true fate remains unknown. It is important to note that the Hierophant refers to vampires as a whole, and themselves, as being without gender, and as such it is improper to assume the author was male. However many older volumes refer to the author as a man. These instances may still be found throughout older pieces of translations, but should not be taken at face value as a correct statement about the author. The remains of the Hierophant, or even a physical description of the author, have never been discovered at the point of printing."

Strauss quirked an eyebrow. A vampire scientist was something he could relate to- as was the notion that gender was useless to a vampire. He had very little attachment to the notion of being a 'man' either. Perhaps Frau Pietra was making a very informed decision to recommend him this book.

"What is known about the Hierophant is that they were a scientist of means. Which is to say, the results of their experiments describe processes and subjects that would have only been possible with some degree of funding and support. It is unknown who financed the endeavors, but it is likely that a head of state saw fit to understand vampires and vampirism for reasons of security or extermination, and as such the works of the Hierophant were likely done on commission for military purposes."

Strauss licked his fingertip and flipped to the glossary. Frau Pietra had said there was something in here about how horses were similar to vampires. He was curious to see just what she meant. The glossary contained a list of various animals in alphabetical order. Cats, dogs, various exotics, finally he came to 'Horse (See Diomedan, page 346-370,532)' and paused. He flipped back and forth till he reached the page specified.

"The Diomedan horses were among the earliest experiments of the Hierophant. While the effects of vampirism in nonhuman subjects was eventually tested with varying degrees of success on a multitude of exotic animals, the process of elimination started with domestic animals that were easily obtained. While frustrated with failures on dogs and pigs, the horse was the second animal (after the rabbit) to successfully complete a vampiric metamorphosis."

Strauss rested his hand over his face. The notion of vampirism in animals hadn't occurred to him. It seemed cruel and unusual and without much of a point. "While several species showed a physiological response to the vampire pathogen, few of them met the criterion for success, which is

A. Reanimation from a state of natural death.

B. Bodily control and vigor post reanimation and

C. Survival instincts present.

Seven horses were infected and slain, and buried under straw for three days and three nights. The text indicates that four of the seven tested horses failed to rise, while the three successful subjects were able to disinterr themselves, and immediately displayed both strength and hunting instinct. They were found in the stable, having broken in and killed the uninfected horses, and were discovered in the act of eating them."

"While the Diomedan horses were an example of successful vampirism in an animal, the victory for the Hierophant was short lived. The Diomedans were said to be so vicious and intractable that they accepted no rider, not even a vampire rider, and they were swiftly relegated to small pens until such time as two of the three were deliberately culled by archers. The fate of the third Diomedan is an interesting one. Human-host vampires display abilities of physical shape shifting transformation, something the Diomedans also proved to be capable of. It is unclear how the shape-shifting was induced in the animal, only that it ultimately proved fatal. The final Diomedan was discovered in a state of living decomposition, with limbs bent and stretched into unusable ways. It is assumed the animal began a transformation, panicked, was unable to revert and became too exhausted to keep trying. The final Diomedan was destroyed by its creator. Subsequent efforts at replicating the Diomedan experiment have resulted in incredibly dangerous subject behavior and may not be safely repeated. The Vatican has at time of writing banned further usage in equine species such as horses, donkeys, zebras or onagers in vampiric pathogen trials."

Strauss shook his head slowly. So, there was something he had in common with horses after all. The ability to die and come back ruined. Not a happy thing to share, especially not to inflict on a good animal like a horse.

"All well and good, Frau Pietra." He muttered to himself while he read. "But surely you didn't risk discovery and recommend me a book just to make me feel bad for the horses." He flipped back to the front of the book to the table of contents and began to scan the page quickly. 'Common Ailments' was one of the earlier entries. He flicked to it quickly to find a page full of diagrams. Most of them woodcuts, the type that could Durer proud. He may have even been the artist. These were a much later creation than the text, certainly.

Grotesque imagery of horrible sunburns full of blisters, diagrams of chipped or rotten fangs, patterns of unusual hair growth such as in the palms of the hands all paraded past on the yellowed pages. Soon he stopped. He was in this book.

Not him, specifically, but the guant spectre of the long dead fool in the woodcut could have passed for a portrait. The subject was depicted bound, and strung up by his neck- no doubt a drawing done from live reference. Strauss shuddered. The subject was near-nude, multiple small arrows pointed to pieces of anatomy such as the protruding ribs and collarbone, the sunken eyes and the thin lips with protruding teeth. "Psychosomatic Emaciation. In which the vampiric subject has the physical capability to feed but lacks the instinct or drive. In many cases this is common in those with heavy religious dietary restrictions in former life. The P.E. Patient may eat very little, or nothing at all, and may succumb to second death via dehydration. Other patients will eat but find themselves greatly inhibited or reduced by their permanent state of exhaustion."

He shut the book with a rude 'clap' and crossed his arms. So that was it, then. She must have known he would read the entire thing, and she had pointed this out to mock him. Or maybe, sickeningly enough, to encourage him to feed more. Either option only deepened the mean scowl that began to grow on his face. He stood up and made for the door. No doubt Ursula was bored to tears spying on him anyway.

He would have to find a way out soon, some excuse to confront his tormentor or at least warn her to back off. Some way outside. It might be even easier to do that than to find the records he'd been told about in the labyrinth of the old library. According to this old, out of date, non peer reviewed excuse for a scientific text, he was sick. He wasn't much interested in remedying it. Perhaps if he could find the records, he would read those too, but now he was simply tempted to 'tell on her.' It would be easy to casually mention to Ursula. No doubt Frau Pietra had to have been nearby, to know what she did. She may even be physically near the grounds now. If he sounded the alarm she may be caught in an instant.

But what would Ursula do to her? The eternal question. How far did Frau Harker's own bloodlust go? Would he risk the safety of a relative stranger because he felt insulted?

No. Not right now anyway. It could be brought up later, but once the secret were out, there would be no putting it back. He came to Ursula's office at last. "Frau Harker. Thank you. You may close the library."

"So soon? Got your fill quickly, did you?"

"For now, Frau Harker." He sighed. "I have seen enough."

[sosuigeneris]

Sunday plans: slept in till 11 am. I’ve been dreaming every night since I was a child but my dreams the last few nights have been really strange.

Put on Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett’s 2014 jazz album while I freshen up. I might head to the JW Marriott in the noon for a massage because my back and neck are killing me after sleeping for 12 hours straight.

I bought that insanity workout program and I’m going to start tomorrow. Am I excited? You bet I am. It’s only 60 days and I’m trying to ensure that I will stay consistent no matter what. I’ve been reading all the reviews on blogs and Reddit pages to ensure that my mindset to do this doesn’t wear off by Monday. I wonder if it’s going to be as hard as everyone says it is. I’ve been working out my whole life (without getting the results I want) so let’s see if this works.

I’m going to read some more of that pig book, give my dad updates on our family office and prep for tomorrow’s 5 am wake up.

But one thing that I really wanted to talk about is embodying the mindset of you want to be. I wanted to be perceived as intelligent, put-together and elegant for years and I worked towards it. Reading a wide variety of things and knowing what part of that content I can put to use in a conversation; practicing my posture even if I’m alone, making sure that I look good when I step out, dressing the way my ideal self does, engaging in creative workshops to really branch out, knowing how to talk to people older than me in a respectful manner (this is huge in eastern culture). And it’s finally, finally all paying off.

the reason I know it is because a) I can feel the change myself. My social skills have improved, I don’t need to drink to be comfortable socially. I also have really strong observational skills: I can notice how other people see me even if they don’t say it. B) other people who I barely know validate point A. At the meditation retreat in Black Forest, a random lady told my friend that she thought I “was so elegant and chic, the way (I) carried myself” and my friend came and told me all this the second the lady left. Other people do notice when you start making changes.

now if you’ve reached this stage, this is what you have to hear: do not get dependent on other people’s validation. That will be your Achilles heel. Do not get enamoured by compliments nor let down by criticism. Learn to accept it graciously but don’t let your emotions take control of you.

if you get dependent on people’s validation, you will soon become a chameleon in social settings. When you’re with Betty, because Betty thinks you’re a hilarious person when drinking, you’ll embody exactly that personality because you don’t want to let Betty down. When you’re with Mrs Smith you’re on your best behaviour because she’s this elegant old lady.

there’s nothing wrong in slightly altering your personality depending on the social group. but there has to be a certain limit to it. And you need to establish that limit.

If you don’t, you’ll be nothing but a doormat for these people. They will lose interest in you anyway, when they realise that you have no original personality and you’re just trying to imitate their thoughts and beliefs. Know when to blend and when to not.

how do you establish that limit? It’s very simple. You decide a few core values, beliefs, principles and opinions that you will absolutely not budge on. And once you have that, come up with 20 ways you can say “I don’t agree” in the most polite, politically-correct, respectful manner possible OR learn how to deviate conversations to different subjects seamlessly. I would always prefer the latter because I think it’s the best way to handle social conflict. Unless the person is my age or someone who I know I can give my piece of mind to, I don’t bother engaging and gently direct the conversation to a different subject altogether.

And how does one deviate conversations? it must be done as subtly as possible. If the conversation is about a war happening and you’re trying to deviate it to their opinion of Saltburn it’s obviously not going to work. What you have to do is choose the closest, safest topic, repeatedly. For instance if someone is talking about politics that I don’t want to talk about, I’ll throw in some history: “do you know that back in 19XX this had happened?” And then slowly deviate that conversation to an author or poet who had written very well on that subject; then deviate again, ask them if they like to read anything. If they bring up political books, then I would create a “hard stop” and say oh, I really like Bengali poetry. If the conversationalist is a good one, they will reciprocate and ask me more. I can then give a little summary of something I’ve read and ask them for their opinion on it.

you will only become good at this if you go out and engage with people. I’ve found the cutest little jazz lounge in my city and I plan to go there with a maximum of 2 friends who also want to interact and meet new people. You have to gain experience socially in order to become socially smart.

-Cherry 🍒

[shotbyafool]

talk about assassins!!!

exceptional. I am an adult now, and much more normal than I was at age 17, but my God. talk about one of the most cohesive musicals ever made; it’s so striking to see such a wonderful collaboration, and it’s sad Weidman didn’t work with Sondheim more, because dear God! the portrayal of Booth and Czolgosz between their scenes and their songs is such a wonder. a real masterclass in partnership. I feel with other works, like Company and Into the Woods, that the music outshines the scenes, which makes one’s overall enjoyment hampered—but not here! there is a reason the original Broadway album includes nearly entire scenes, slightly abridged. such excellent blending. such perfect work.

I may have ruined everything for myself by memorizing effectively the entire book from start to finish, which makes one’s delight at a new interpretation a bit less there. I saw this in Philadelphia at The Arden, a theatre beloved by Sondheim himself as it turns out, and it’s a lovely space. much to my surprise, what I deem to be correct choices were made entirely through. I find it insane that we let people cut “Something Just Broke” and that we let them not double cast The Balladeer and Oswald — to me, this is so fundamental to the vision of the show that not doing it should make one liable to be thrown in Director Jail. is the point not the corruption of innocence, the destruction of the optimist? I digress — the right choices were made here, and such a lovely performer doing the dual characters as required.

they chose to rid the show of its ensemble and have the periphery assassins do these parts. I was not entirely obsessed with it throughout, but there is this beautiful moment where everyone is loitering about as Czolgosz gets enraptured by the idea of Emma Goldman, and the Proprietor slips between them and hands the actress playing Fromme a little piece of paper. she puts on a pair of glasses and a suit jacket and the paper, it appears, is a script — she is to play Goldman in a scene with Czolgosz, where he knows the lines and she does not. and eventually she stops reading the script, starting to inhabit the character, and that little piece of paper becomes the pamphlet she presses into his hands as she leaves him. how divine! how intriguing!

besides this, it’s just so excellent to see it live. the full commitment to presenting Guiteau’s hanging makes me giddy. I adored watching the performers putter off to the sides when someone else’s scene was going on, reacting and listening and playing with decks of cards to distract themselves. and that final scene with Booth and Oswald is soooo delicious. I want to sink my teeth into it. I want to write a 20-page essay on it. I want everyone to understand it the way I do.

[icebluecyanide]

Alex Rider S03E01 Reaction

So I've already watched all of s3, but I decided for some reason to keep a liveblog & take a moment after every episode to write down my thoughts/predictions/questions at the time. Some of it is very amusingly wrong, but I'm going to share it anyway because I do always enjoy reading liveblogs/reaction posts myself so maybe other people will want to read it too.

Note that while this contains no spoilers for later eps, I have read the book and reference it, so warning for book spoilers and me being unable to stop comparing the two.

Liveblog

Hey I’ve been there! (Malta)

I am petty but I don’t like Alex sharing what Yassen told him with people lol. But I guess they had to make it a group project for the show and it’s not the stuff with his dad which is what Alex in the books felt was too private to share so oh well

Tom and Jerry(/Jay??) ahsdlfhs

Alex thinking Yassen wasn’t lying to him 😭 and he does seem to have kept the part about his dad a secret!

oh damn he wants to destroy Scorpia!! and Kyra also wanting him to, that could cause interesting conflict when he joins them later

also i forgot that Scorpia actually killed Ian in this lol

Kyra is going to do machine learning lol

Love the Alex/Kyra ship fuel with the hurt/comfort scene

ahslfhs how did they even find that villa tho? LIke I thought that was just the piece of wall Mrs Rothman was photographed in front of, surely that gives them no clues about where she’s staying?

And not to be mean but Kyra did kinda bring the stabbing on herself ashdflhs. Going off on her own because she got bored and then expecting Alex to do the fighting and treating the fight weirdly casually

It’s interesting how they seem to have changed Scorpia’s structure/origin story what with Mrs Rothman being elected and there being no client for this operation.

Them referencing Alex getting in with Tom setting fireworks in the books... i mean it's a nice reference but also actually that was more fun than Kyra just being able to hack their way in ngl ahsdlfhs. Not really the show’s fault, but modern tech & computer tricks make spy stories more boring

Also Alex just walked into the party in his suit and honestly this is one of those plots that only works because Otto is not a teenager. If he actually looked like a teen, he would have stood out waaaay too much (which was actually a concern in the book)

Alex grabbing champagne and later putting it back down again haha good way to blend in, I suppose

Getting his phone out?? In the exhibition?? So rude

Love the trend of doctors/scientists in Alex Rider wanting to be paid more for their work. Honestly they deserve it because they won’t even get to publish their extraordinary findings

‘I can hear you breathe’ Love Nile

Nile please how are you surprised at Alex attacking you asdfs

Shame we didn’t get Nile overpowering him like in the books, the difference in their fighting skills was so much bigger there, but I think they made Alex more of a fighter in the show. In the books he mostly needs to rely on the element of surprise and usually when he’s in a fight he’s outmatched and needs to use some form of trickery/his environment to win while show!Alex actually has pretty good fighting skills

I love Nile’s actor but I wish he could have actually taken Alex down like in the book, the way he loses Alex and doesn’t even realise it & thinks he died makes him look a lot less competent tbh

How did Alex climb up there?? And more importantly, how is he getting down haha

I get the feeling Yassen isn't gonna show up until Alex is with Mrs Rothman lol but at least we got to hear his final words ot Alex like four times

Overall

Really exciting, love seeing Malta and I’m intrigued at the differences between the book and the show and where it will lead. 

Thoughts/predictions

I imagine the race Tom’s brother mentioned will play a role and I liked the little bit we got with Tom about his grades being bad and maybe wanting to drop out. I guess Tom’s parents aren’t going through their divorce in the show? Also really enjoyed Alex and Kyra being more invested in the investigation than Tom and how they are apparently planning to take down Scorpia for their families.

I liked how we got to see more from Julia Rothman and Scorpia already and I’m intrigued by what Invisible Sword will be. Love Max having his ‘I have grandkids now’ moment and trying to talk Julia Rothman down and her being like ‘no I want to kill’. Looooved Nile telling Mrs Rothman to shoot him if he ever lost the appetite for killing.

I also really liked Alex talking about his dad and how he had nothing to do with spying and how his world got turned upside down when he learned about his uncle being a spy and now it’s happening again.

Questions

What is Invisible Sword in this?

What’s the deal with Julia inheriting her place at the table? Not sure if I like the new origin story for Scorpia but I’m intrigued by the way they have a council now instead of an executive board and how it changes the vibes.

Are Alex and Tom and Kyra gonna fight?

[tleeaves]

Hi! I’m trying to befriend my favourite mutuals so I’m asking a bunch of questions to get to know you all better

What was/is your favourite subject in school? Were/are you good at it?

What country do you live in? What do you like/dislike about it?

Are you currently writing/planning an original story? If so, what is it about?

What genres of media do you usually consume? What books would you recommend to people?

What is your favourite poison?

what is your favourite method of murder (both to read about and what you would actually use)?

What patterns do you usually notice in the people that you hang out with?

Can I message you?

Hi, darling!! Love these questions, thank you so much for sending them through 🥺 Honoured to be considered a favourite mutual.

My favourite subject was absolutely English. It was my top subject when I graduated as well, and I was definitely good at it. I wasn't always though. I actually had trouble reading as a kid. I didn't even really like reading until I got to around 10 years old. And I had a few rough years in high school where no matter how hard I tried in English classes, I could have sworn two teachers in particular were out to give me a hard time for a couple years (to the point where I was nearly averaging on a D in their classes, whereas all other years I was a straight A student in English, including my final years, so the contrast is still weird to look back on, considering nothing substantial actually changed in my learning between those years).

Australia! I like the environment here, generally, not just in terms of vibes from folk but also nature. I do like that where I am in particular they seem to try and incorporate more greenery into built up areas. I dislike our education system deeply and the fact that geographically we're split off from much of the world.

Yes, I am! Both writing and planning (have done so much planning over the years, vaguely, went to write, and realised I needed an outline, and I'm still finishing that up so I can continue the writing part). It's about the sacrifices we make to protect what we care about, essentially. It's also what I would consider high fantasy (though it's technically a blend between high/historical fantasy and low fantasy). Also, horror and romance elements because it's not my work without a bit of horror and some romance at this point (sue me, this stuff goes hand in hand so well sometimes).

Genres of media: dark fantasy (so not outright horror but also too dark to be purely what you might just call fantasy), historical drama, aaand romance (but it's usually mixed in with something else because I struggle to read straight up romance). Books I recommend people are usually tailored to what I know of their interests. Will usually try to squeeze in something by V.E. Schwab though.

Ooh. Good question. Assuming you're talking about actual poison and not just a drink (drink: mocha) it would have to be mistletoe. It's not suuuper effective in small doses, I know, but hear me out: it's a hemiparasitic plant and there's been debates over whether it can be considered a carnivorous plant because of how it feeds off a host plant (tree). I can't remember whether it was argued that it could have been a passive or active trap, though I guess it doesn't really matter, because in the end it's really not carnivorous at all. Still! Toxic to consume. Vomiting and so on. Possible death etc.

Hmm, favourite method. I love poisonings, actually, because they're interesting to orchestrate in stories and can make for dramatic symptom reveals and realisations (and I've written them before too, but reading is just as fun). And, to be honest, I'm pretty shitty at writing other sorts of death scenes BUT oh you know what goes hard?? A good old fashioned stabbing where Character A leans into it and Character B to whisper one last thing -- usually something that holds a lot of weight. THAT is brilliant. I have one of those planned to write. Really excited for it.

People I hang out with are massive nerds. Okay, more seriously... I don't know. I hang out with a variety of people, because I also have a wide array of interests and so I tend to meld into different groups at a time. That's why I say nerds. I like to be around people who care a lot about Very Specific Things. Oh, well, they're also often neurodivergent, so there's that. I find it difficult to get along with people who are so chill about everything and give off the vibe that they have no personality and or passion.

Absolutely you can message me!!

[otherkessarin]

Well, anyway, I have finally got a full mental outline of the last section of Chapter 8 of 'Courier.' The first two sections are fully outlined (in writing), so when I'm able to complete a written outline of the last section I can start drafting.

As always I am plagued by small worldbuilding details: what silverware do they use??? Do they eat with their hands, or with something like chopsticks, or with fork/spoon/knife/other? I really can't remember it being mentioned in Goblin or Witness, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to read The Grief of Stones before writing the last section because I really want to get Barizheise cultural details right. I like to have a cultural jumping-off point to use as a "frame" for fictional worldbuilding, and what I've gotten so far for Barizhan has included elements from India to Ethiopia to Japan and beyond. (And the Ethuveraz is like a blend of Russia and Imperial China???) I'm also going to be making things up wholecloth about Rosiro, as I did (probably very inaccurately) about Aveio, so look forward to that.

I'm glad to be working on this again, though. I've felt absolutely awful having left it so long. Comments on the fic are kind of the lifeblood that keeps it going in my mind. Every time I read one I'm like, "Oh... yeah... the fic..." and start thinking about it again. I lost a lot of inspirationg for the fic when I read Witness, because I had really conceived of the world as an early-modern-Europe kind of setting with magically advanced technology, rather than a Victorian-England kind of setting with a very old-fashioned monarchy and particularly brutal executions. I'm sure anyone who was on the Discord at the time I read the book recalls me whining about it. But I'm just going to continue writing with my original conception of the place, and you can call it a remix or something if you'd like.

By the way, I've been dying for ages to tell people that there's a scene stub for an upcoming chapter with a placeholder title of "Bog Mummies Take the Wheel." Really, really looking forward to writing that bit.

XOXO

[21stcenturyschizoidcat]

Writing Autobiography 2:

Electric Boogaloo

(An essay written for a college class about writing)

As a lazy person, I often find the first draft will also serve as a final draft. Is it a weakness? Perhaps, but so far “good enough” has been good enough for my studies. I host a weekly radio show on WHIP, which is not scripted: I plan my music program ahead of time, then using my pre-existing knowledge of my song selection to fill in the gaps. I know that my argument and debate skills are (to be generous) lacking, but I feel that my off-the-cuff conversational skills are adequate, even if I need to pause to find my words every now and then. Thus is my internal justification for my lack of revisions, since I can usually pull something that reads well off on the first try. I think the reality of the situation is, however, that I am also just naturally lazy. Efficiency? Laziness? Both I feel are interlinked.

Do I like writing? I think so. I enjoy writing poems and lyrics, as well as the occasional narrative story, but often I find my problem is that I am without stories to tell. Among my best writings is my radio drama adaptation of The Shadow Over Innsmouth, but it is based on the H.P. Lovecraft novella of the same name. I wrote one of my few original stories as a fictional retelling of my experiences riding my bike home through the night time of Ocean City, New Jersey, after being freed from my seven-to-three shift at one of the Wawas on the island. Often on those deserted nights, whilst doing the cleaning at Wawa, I would hear the howling of the wind outside and see reflections in the windows I would mistake for people. Whatever physical layout that Wawa had made the swirling winds low and deep, as though it were the groan of some great, wretched beast in the distance. I was listening to a youtube channel around that time by the name of Lazy Masquerade, which consisted largely of readings from macabre tales, true crime case files, cryptid showcases, and other such spooky substance. The cryptid stories, particularly those of Skinw*lkers frightened me deeply, making those thirty-minute, three A.M. bicycle rides a treacherous endeavor, especially combined with the path I would take. The path I most often found myself riding would take me through a small nature trail, with houses and grass to one side and marshes on the other, with lights illuminating roughly two-thirds of the trail, leaving the final third drenched within what must be some of the deepest darkness on the island. When I would be allowed to leave work at six A.M. after starting at ten P.M., however, I would be met not with darkness and fright but rather with an exceptionally large number of rabbits hanging about.

I took my experiences and fears regarding those dark rides home and wrote a short narrative based on pretty much exactly that. I used my own experiences to try to build tension so that the only fictional part of the narrative came at the end, when I conjured my own demise at the hands of an unseen monster screaming with my voice. With that tale, I had to do very little conjuring to create what I felt to be a compelling and eerie story. My trouble comes with knowing how to construct a longer, more fleshed out story. Why should these characters do the things they do? What are their personalities? How do I keep plot momentum going?

In books, it seems, there is an unappreciated amount of things happening most of the time. Among the biggest flaws of my writing is, I think, the amount of describing I do. When it comes to dialogue, I never know how to blend the two naturally, which I see in so many novels. A full book, though, a full book has so much information in it, whether that information is narrative or informative. When I write, I find that each scene I write only lasts a short time, so I feel like if I were ever to write a whole book or script by myself, I would need to either create a long series of short shallow interactions, or find a way to add more substance and length to my writings.

I recently (last night) watched an independent movie by the name of Emesis Blue. An animated movie made using free software and mostly pre-existing assets from a handful of video games, and tells a story within the universe of one of those video games, Team Fortress 2, a game I myself am a fan of. The story is a horror story that blends influences from the video game it takes place within, various works of Stephen King, Stanley Kubrick, and Quinten Tarentino, and other more specific movies, such as Fritz Lang’s classic M and the modern horror The House That Jack Built. What I took away from the movie, besides it being very good, is that the film is a congregation of influences that are worn rather blatantly on the sleeve, but entertwined with creativity and love. The concepts explored in the film are all very clearly drawn from these earlier works, but are utilised in such a way to make a piece of media that is utterly novel and unique in the modern mediascape.

With my songwriting, I have been influenced by a number of musicians. Chief among them are Neutral Milk Hotel. Neutral Milk Hotel’s lyrics are strange, the chords are simple, and the emotion is high. The lyrics often create a beautiful series of images which, while not having much meaning literally, often act as transposed dreams, abstract thoughts culled from the author’s subconscious. Otherwise, the lyrics act as literal metaphors, so that the act of reading The Diary of Anne Frank is written variously as “And from above you how I sank into your soul / Into that secret place where no one dares to go,” “How I would push my fingers through / Your mouth to make those muscles move / That made your voice so smooth and sweet,” and “And in the dark, we will take off our clothes / And they’ll be placing fingers through the notches of your spine” among other strange metaphors. The resulting album is a beautiful, kaleidoscopic collection of intimate imagery indubitably conveying the author’s heartache at the horrors of the Holocaust and the death of Anne Frank.

I confess, my own lyric writing has often been confessional, as I use my music as a tool to work through personal conflict within myself. I wrote the song “Bisquit” about the kind of discomfort I felt from my mother, and I wrote multiple songs about my disdain for my hometown and my desire to become a wandering vagabond. What I noticed is that the lyrics I find the most satisfaction with are the ones I write while incredibly sleepy, which made making music while working the night shift a breeze. Sufjan Stevens has recently made a great impact on me and the way I conceptualise songwriting. Chicago, for instance, is a single four chord loop that goes on for over six minutes, but ever changing dynamics, musical textures, lyrics, melody, instrumentals, and the layered musical motifs of the song all create a truly powerful and gripping exaltation of love, regret, and growth.

To conclude, I’ll leave you with a quote from Wes Anderson’s iconic Grand Budapest Hotel that I believe is advice on writing I should take:

“It is an extremely common mistake: people think the writer’s imagination is always at work, that he is constantly inventing an endless supply of incidents and episodes, that he simply dreams-up his stories out of thin air. In point of fact, the opposite is true. Once the public knows you are a writer, they bring the characters and events to you -- and as long as you maintain your ability to look and carefully listen, these stories will continue to seek you out [...] over your lifetime. I can't tell you how many times in my lifetime. [...] To him who has often told the tales of others, many tales will be told.”

[sublimegentlemanalpaca]

I am reading The Girl who raced Fairyland all the way home by Catheryne M. Valente. Fifth and final book in Valente’s Fairyland series. Having just finished its predecessor The Boy Who lost Fairyland yesterday over the course of three days. Oh how I love this series so so so much. This is not even a case of having read it when younger and holding it dear to me since as I only came across this series stumbling across it like a portal into fairyland and a book shop while out antiquing. But this series is just so good. It’s writing is fun, wordy, but not pretentious. And it’s got an excellent narrator. A very opinionated and well informed on matters of the narrative and Narrative sort of Narrator. Which is like….the best kind of Narrator. Oh to be a Narrator…dream job. Back on topic…I’m only a few chapters in , not even reached an interlude yet and I’m so invested. Seeing how September has grown, and with the return of her various accoutrements and friends across the series…really feels like…a conclusion. Also! The Dramatis Personae mentioned an Octopus Assassin…so really looking forward to that lovely absurdity. This series is like Oz, Wonderland, Whatever the place in the Phantom Tollbooth was called blended together with its own original flavor. Also, A through L is great and I love him.

Make of this what you will. Al the Chronographing Cottager and Prince of Naming

[pyreofsunflowers]

What I watched this week 3/13-3/19

this week was a little skimpy because I had to work so much, but fret not I still have plenty of stuff for y'all

The Shining (1980, Dir. Stanley Kubrick)

Did y'all know I go to the "overlook" (The Timberline lodge up in Mt Hood national forest) every year in the summer? It's a beautiful place. Anyways you'd think with that I'd have seen the shining by now, but nope! This was my first time ever watching it! And man - what a film! Nothing beats a well made horror movie, in my humble opinion, with that sweet spot blend of the meta-physical and the physical threats, threatening, stylistic cinematography, and a small-yet-solid cast of characters portrayed by talented actors really giving it there all makes for such a satisfying watch!

I've never read the original novel, where most of the subtext and themes of those movie -obviously - are drawn from, and I likely never will as I generally dislike fiction. However. I still found the themes permeant and the subtext moving despite not having it in full context. That, in my own opinion, is what makes the Shining such an effective adaptation - although I am rather uninformed as I've only ever heard people talk about the book.

Definitely one of my favorite horror movies -5/5

Enemy (2013, dir. Denis Villeneuve)

Okay so I'm just gonna be frank - I am bad with metaphors and symbolism. I can understand character growth, plot structure, timelines, cinematography, lighting, peroid accuracy, and all sorts of more technical and object elements of a movie. I mostly critique based off of these things, I stay in my lane. It's not that I can't ever understand a metaphor or pick up on any forms of symbolism, it's just not really how my brain works.

That being said, I still really really enjoyed this movie. It was a well made slow paced pysch. thriller that tackles adultery and cheating in a way I've never seen a movie do before. Villeneuve's style, as always, adds such a rich, amazing, and lonely air to the film - one which I think helps enhance it's message.

To condense, this is a film about double lives, about two drastically different halves inside one body. It's about secrets and hiding and ultimately letting the facade all down and the chaos all of that will cause in one's life (illustred quite well by the ending scenes of the film.)

I can't really describe this film, just go watch it for yourself. Unless you can't stand spiders. 4.5/5

Halloween (1978, Dir. John Carpenter)

After marathoning all 6 Scream movies over the course of 2 weeks, my hopes were really low for Halloween. Specifically because Scream, at least the first one, is a pretty self admitted satire of tropes Halloween brought to the table. But I was really surprised with how good this one was!

I don't really know why? Maybe it's because I don't tend to super love what is super popular? But I'm happy to say Halloween holds up and is a genuinely creepy slasher. John Carpenter's slow, meandering style really lends itself well to the genre - making the final kills feel well deserved and establishing a true sense of fear in the audience. Especially with how hidden Michael Meyer's is from the camera for the first 2 acts.

This films lighting and cinematography are also on another level, the way the film gets both literally and tonally darker as the day drags on, the way Michael is always kept in the shadows, the intimate, stalker-esque camera... It's amazing!

Me and the friend I watched Scream with are doing the same thing but for the Halloween franchise now, but less frequently cause there's no upcoming film. So stay tuned as I work my way through 9 more fucking Halloween movies.

This movie was really well made, though not something I would consider a personal favorite. 4/5.

Breaking Bad Season 4 (2011 shrn. Vince Gilligan)

So I'm just about finished with season 4 and hollllyyyyyyy shit Vince Gilligian is a mastermind. I've really been enjoying the plotline with Hank catching up to Walt + Gus, and am really excited for the payoff in S5. Jesse's arc continues to carry the show and I want nothing but the best for this man. Please oh god Mike just help this man he NEEDS it.

The scene where he went back and cussed out his old rehab therapist was *amazing* and really hit home with just how far gone he thinks he is and gives you a really good look into his pysche. Speaking of Pysches Walt's undoing is finally starting to rear it's head and boy howdy am I ever ready for that clown to kick the bucket. Fuck that guy.

I also really enjoyed the Gus backstory, and Max's death is probably one of my favorite scenes in the entire series (is that a spoiler? i don't think so...) Anyways brba continues to be a masterpiece and you'll be seeing more of dis.