#i am going to add to this tomorrow. don't know what this means yet but it's something

[planetwaynez]

OBSESSION

Dark!Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Notes: I wrote this as a writing exercise and this is the fic of the pool I did a few weeks ago! I am really happy to be putting this out there, honestily I don't know if its truly good but I got to explore a side of my brain I don't visit too often sooo it was fun.

WARNINGS: SMUT! stalking behavior, toxic thoughts, toxic behavior, explicit sex scene, non consensual recording, crude words, dumbfication, gaslighting, and this is heavily inspired by OBSESSION By EXO! If there is anything I didn't put in here pls dm about and I will add!

Words: 3,4k

Synopsis: Jason is obsessed. And he won't ever let you go.

Jason wasn't very fond of not being in control. He always knew that he thrives when the control of things is in his hands, however his little dove seems to forget that every time. 

He watches his little dove apply lipstick, her friends gossiping while getting ready and some pop song on the speaker. His little dove knows the rules, but apparently she's taking advantage of him not being home to discipline her for her bad behavior. 

She's giggling about some joke that one of her friends told and Jason fists his hand. He shouldn't be jealous but he can't stop thinking about his little dove at some frat party tonight and him not being around. 

He zooms in on the image and takes a good look at his pretty girl, Jason takes a deep breath and thank God that his girl has a pretty face, not a smart brain to figure it out the cameras he put in her apartment months before he even asked her out. Rationality he knows that he should've taken the cameras out once they started dating but he didn't feel like it, Jason enjoys watching his girl when he's away on some mission and she doesn't know, which can't hurt her. Only make her safer, because like this he's always around. 

She's wearing a black little dress and heavy make up with red lipstick, her hair styled to perfection and wearing high heels and for a moment Jason considered going back home in one of his dad's private jets, but his sense of responsibility didn't allow him. Nevertheless that doesn't mean he can't find a way to keep his girl at home, under his eyes for one more night before he finishes his part of the job and goes home to her.

Jason clicks his tongue, creating a devilish plan to keep her home. Fast and easy.

He grabs his phone and dials his little doves number, he watches as she grabs her phone and leaves the bedroom to take his call at the bathroom, she smiles at the screen before picking up. Something very important about Jason's and his pretty doves relationship is that she doesn't know a lot about him or how they crossed paths. But she doesn't need to know any of that, the only thing in his little dove's head all the time should be him and nothing else. 

"Hey, baby!" She greets happily and for a second Jason feels bad about what he's going to do, but he can't stop himself. He needs control, he craves it. All the time, especially with her. 

"Hey, sweetheart" she beams and Jason wants to grab her and never let go. "How you doing?"

"Great! Going out with the girls tonight!" Jason suppressed a growl, not wanting to show the bad parts of himself to his girl. Not yet at least. 

"Really? I thought you had a big paper to deliver tomorrow" he's not lying, per se. He knows the paper is only due in two days but he will make her believe that's not the case.

"No, silly! It's only in two days" she's twisting a piece of her hair in her index finger, clearly flirting with him even when he's not in the same space as her. He loves that.

"Little dove, I believe that it's tomorrow… but if you want to go out tonight anyway you can go, it's your grades we are talking about" he can see the tension in her shoulders as he speaks, her demeanor changing drastically from one moment to another. 

"But Jace… I truly think that only due in two days, it's in my calendar" now his little dove is uncomfortable but he can make her feel better once he's back home. Right now she needs to understand that her place tonight and every night when Jason is not home is on the couch, watching Gilmore Girls.

"Princess" He uses that condensed tone Bruce always used with him when wanting to convince Jason of something. He hates it, but it is efficient. "Remember that time you wrote down the date wrong for that big project of yours? You doing it again" 

Her shoulders drop and she sighs and he knows that she's wrapped around his finger forever. She's staying home. 

"My God, you are right" she nods, as if he could see it. Well, he can but she doesn't need that information. "I am staying home but I feel bad for ditching the girls though."

Y/N plays with one of the decorative objects of her bathroom, thinking about how she's telling her friends she's staying and not going to the commemorative party of the basketball team tonight. 

"I bet they will understand, baby" Jason hopes they don't. Those girls want to take his precious jewelry from his hands and he won't allow it. 

"Yeah, you are right. As usual" she giggles and he feels his chest warm up at the sound. He misses her.

"I have to go, baby, they are calling me to finish a few papers" he lies through his teeth, Jason just wants to get rid of the bunch of girls before his little dove changes her mind. "Text you later, ok?"

"Ok, love, till later." And she hangs up, looking miserable. Jason knows how much she wanted to go to this party, and that's exactly why he can't allow it. What if she finds someone else? What if she gets in danger? What if she leaves him? He would have to take drastic decisions if any of those scenarios happened. So it's better if she's home safe.

Jason watches as she tells her friends she won't go and watches as her friends get disappointed with her but they obviously won't comment about it. Happily he watches them go away and his girl getting ready to bed, taking the provocative dress off and the heavy make up and put on cute pajamas and sit down on her desk to finish her project on her computer. 

He smiles, feeling way more light now. Jason decided to reward his little dove for her good behavior. 

The man takes a long shower and lets his mind wander to his sweet girl under him, moaning his name and clenching around his cock. He groans and finishes his shower, stopping in front of the mirror with a white towel wrapped around his hips and his hair wet, Jason takes a picture and sends it to his girl.

He goes back to his laptop, watching Y/N's reaction to his text, her breathing gets faster and she bites her lips, smiling a little. 

See, he thinks, so much better like this isn't, honey? 

His phone bips and he opens her text. 

Little Dove: all this for me? 

Jason: it's always for you 

Jason: can't wait to get home to you

Y/N smiles, wide enough to make her eyes close a little bit with the action. She snaps a picture of her, sitting at her desk and sends it to Jason, who is already smiling and looking at her pretty face mesmerized. 

Little Dove: miss u a lot

Jason: tomorrow morning I will be home with you

And just like that Jason goes to bed with the goal to finish his job early and get to his girl.

……..

The sun is slipping through the curtains and Y/N wakes up with a frown. She doesn't like when the sun wakes her up before the alarm but when she feels a heavy arm around her waist her mind goes from fuzzy to alert in a second. She takes a few moments to register the smell of oak and cigarettes, but when she does she relaxes and turns around, looking at Jason's sleepy face.

"Baby!" She calls and Jason opens his eyes. He is really good at pretending, he realizes, because she doesn't even realize that he's been awake all this time, just watching her. 

Since he got home, he's been just admiring his girl and thinking about the unspeakable things he's going to do to her once she wakes up. Now she's awake and, technically, he is too. 

"When did you get here?" Always curious, always wanting to know more than she should, however, Jason always has a good, well curated story to tell her that it's not the truth.

"I got here around five in the morning" she smiles, hugging him and inhaling his scent, almost purring at the feeling. 

That's the truth she needs but the reality is that last night Jason finished his part of the job and landed in Gotham at midnight, but she was still awake finishing her project, so he waited and kept an eye on her through the window, from across the street, sitting on the rooftop of the other building. When she slept, at two in the morning he got out of the rooftop and slipped into her bed.

"Missed you so much" Jason says, holding her neck and taking her face away from his chest, to properly look at her. 

"Me too, Jace" her eyes are shining and he just has to kiss her, to touch her to feel complete, to feel in control again.

So that's what he does. Jason grabs his little dove's neck, squeezing the sides maybe a little too roughly, but he doesn't pay attention to her little whine, only focusing on her lips. When he crashes his lips onto hers, he growls low in his throat, relishing in the feeling of his girl on him.

Their lips move in synchrony with each other, their tongues touching desperately, full of passion and that feeling that none of them can quite describe with words.

Jason's free hand roams over her body, stopping at her ass and squeezing it hard enough to make her moan against his lips. That fuels the fire inside him, that fire that only his sweet, oblivious little dove can satiete with her skin, her lips and her pretty moans. He pins her to the bed, rolling his hips against hers, making both of them whimper and take deep breaths, separating their lips for a moment.

Y/N takes that moment to look into her boyfriend's eyes, the teal is consumed by the black of its pupils and she can see it. The affection, the desire, the possessiveness. And she loves it all, she wants more of it. 

Jason smirks, knowing that she's seeing in his eyes is exactly what he wants her to see. Gently he squeezes her neck again, bringing her back to the front of her mind, back to him.

His other hand goes from her ass cheek to her waist, inside her shirt and feeling warm skin against his, little dove closes her eyes, savoring the moment, the feeling of Jason's calloused hands on her soft belly, climbing to her breast, to touch it gently, just to the next moment be grabbed and the nipple twisted. Y/N moans, loudly and sweetly. 

Jason bites his lips, hiding a smile, one that would scare her off. One of his big, psychotic smiles, the one that makes his mask of a good and caring boyfriend be exactly what it is, a mask. The real Jason is fucked in the head, he's controlling and possessive, a little psychotic too. But, he thinks, she doesn't need to know that.

"Yes… just like that, Jace" she says, preening as Jason's lips kisses her jaw and her neck. He takes her shirt off and kisses softly her breasts, sucking her nipples in his mouth, one by one, taking care of the sensitive skin with care and attention. 

Every stroke of his tongue, every suck of his mouth on her skin and nipples, every flick of his wrist in one of her nipples has a reaction from her. A moan, a whimper, a sigh. 

He loves all of them and he could spend all day worshiping her breasts, however, Jason is thinking about one thing. 

Getting his mouth on his little dove's sweet pussy. 

The men descends his ministrations over her body, his hands grabbing, squeezing and caressing what he can, when he finally gets at her shorts, he takes it off alongside her panties, smiling at the sight in front of him. 

Her pretty pussy glistened to him and him only. He takes her tights on his hands and puts over his shoulders, looking up at her, that is already looking at him in anticipation. 

"What is it, baby?" Jason taunts, knowing that will make her weaker for him. "Need something?"

She whines, fisting the sheets and throwing her head back in frustration. 

"Yes" she says and Jason arches an eyebrow, smirking.  

"And what is that?" He asks again, but before she could answer him, Jason licks her pussy, from hole to clit, making Y/N moan. "It 's my tongue?" He teases, smiling wide, in that psychotic way since she's not looking at him, but at the selling. "Or my fingers?" Two tick fingers thrust inside her warm pussy, getting Jason the best reward. 

Her moaning his name, loudly. 

"Yes! I need both!" Jason doesn't answer her with words, just dives in her pussy, licking, sucking and fucking her with his finger until she's arching her back and crying, just a little bit. Just enough to feed his ego.

Y/N smiles feeling full and delighted with the attention her boyfriend is giving her. He is always so thoughtful,  she thinks, he would never harm me. 

But that's not the reality, Jason would never harm her, per se, but he would find ways to always be her priority and never let others take space in her life. 

Jason can feel his cock against the fabric of his boxers, hyper aware of it. He holds himself back to not start dry humping the bed, the only place he's coming  is inside his little dove. 

Her little cries and moans are getting louder with each thrust of his finger and flick of his tongue, her walls clenching around his fingers and making his head dizzy. Knowing that he had such power and control over her made him feel important, cared and loved. Jason didn’t need anything else when he had his little dove naked and pliant for him at any time he felt like having her.

“Jace!” His name was like a chant in her tongue when she came all over his face and fingers, making Jason moan in delight. He loved when she was messy and needy, and tonight she was just like how he liked. 

Softly, Jason kisses her thighs, going up to her tummy and her breasts, soaking himself in her scent and in her soft skin against his scarred and calloused one. He kissed and nipped at her neck, tangling one of his hands in her hair, making her close her eyes and whimper softly at his touches. 

“Is my baby dumb already?” he asked, watching her face carefully because even though he loved to break her and bring the pieces back together he needed to know when he was too close to make her break for good. And he didn’t want that, he wanted her pliant and soft, not broken and traumatized. That’s why he lied so much, for her own good.

She sniffs, her eyes glossy and her lips red and puffy from kissing him and biting it when he was eating her out. “Baby I need you to answer me or I can’t give you my cock” he pouts, fake sympathy in his voice making her whine and cry a little, squirming in his hold.

“No! I am not dumb” her eyes aren’t quite focusing and she is flooded with emotions that only Jason can’t subside. “I need you cock, Jace!” she says, lips wobbling and legs spreading wide for him, her pussy clenching around nothing and leaking her juices.

Jason smiles, his eyes shining with something dark, uncontrolled and quite feral. Even if his little dove denied, Y/N was already cock drunk - and he didn’t even get inside her, yet. 

“I will give you what you want” he caresses her hair, thinking about permanently kipping her inside this apartment, never letting her go again. But he loves her way too much to scare her. “everything my baby wants, my baby gets”

Slowly, Jason traced his cock along her pussy, making her moan and squirm. He loves the feeling of his cock sliding against her pussy, the way it makes her get a little dumbier each time. Just to tease her, and himself a little, Jason pushes the thick head of his cock inside her greedy pussy, watching with a cruel happiness the way she moans loud and tries to hook her legs around his waist, to bring him closer, deeper.

He pushes away from her delicately, listening to her whimpers and whines, making his cock throb and ache for her. 

“Ask nicely” he demands, his face contorted into an evil smirk she can’t see, her eyes closed in agony and her lips red from biting. Her hands are holding his biceps and her nails are digging into his skin, making the pain get mixed with pleasure. The head of his cock sits still inside her.

“Please, Jace! please, please, please!” Y/N doesn’t have one coherent thought inside her head, the only thing she can think about is her boyfriend cock and how much she needs it. 

“So pretty,” he says, stroking her clit in a tourtours slow pace, her pussy clenching and throbbing. “Who does this pretty pussy belong to?”

“To you, Jace! Only you!” a wolfish grin spreads through Jason's lips, making him look like some sort of devil looking at its new offering. 

“Good girl” he says, pushing everything inside Y/N at once, making her scream and hook her legs around him, a part of his weight resting on her. He smiles when she throws her arms around his shoulders, scratching his back with each hard and slow thrust of his hips against hers.

“Such a good girl… taking my cock so well” she mewls, her eyes rolling to the back of her head and Y/N swears she can feel her heart trying to get out of her chest and jump into Jason’s. 

His cock is delicious, every thrust, every grunt he makes, drives her even further into bliss, her thighs and pussy gripping him and not willing to let go. The sound of skins slapping against skin and his balls hitting her ass makes her even more out of breath, out of her mind. She can’t think straight, she doesn't want that and if she could she would spend the rest of her days with Jason’s cock deep inside her needy and greedy pussy, stretching her out so well that she bubbles a incoherent mess of words every time he is inside her. 

“Look at you,” he says, holding her face in one of his big calloused hands, making her stare at him and his lust filled eyes. “already close to cumming again, little dove?”

“yes' ' she whines, rolling her eyes and relising in the way his broad chest presses against her sensitive tits. 

“You can cum baby” Jason buries his face on her neck, loving the way she smells, driving him even more insane. “cum all over my cock”

His little dove didn't need to be told twice, she came all over his thick cock, loving the way she was feeling in the clouds in his arms. Jason growls, her pussy gripping him too tight, driving him to his orgasm and filling her up to the brim. 

They look each other in the eye, and she smiles softly, waking up his soft side along. He smiles back, resting his forehead against hers. 

They cuddle, smile and talk about everything and anything, she just doesn’t know that now everytime Jason left for a mission he would have their sext tape. And she also didn’t know that he sended a few of his men to disappear with her bad influence of friends. 

She doesn’t need them and eventually, she will understand because eventually she will only need him.

He smiles, that smile that he never lets her see. The one that is just a little psychotic and looks at her sleeping form. 

His.

Forever his.

Even if she tries not to be.

Jason will never let her go. 

[adventuringblind]

Butterflies on You Skin

Oscar Piastri x Reader

Genre: angst and hurt/comfort

Request: No, this is entirely self indulgent

Summary: Sometimes, the coping mechanisms we create aren't the ones we need...

Warnings: graphic images if SH

Notes: I do not in any way condone SH. I used to read fics like this when I was going through it and it helped. Like somehow reading about fictional me doing it and then getting help allowed he to have those same sensations. My point being that I am struggling at the time I'm writing this and I'm determined to stay clean (almost two years!). This helps me and I hope it helps someone else out there too. Remeber you're not alone ❤️

Masterlist

People don't understand that pain can become addicting. When you've been through so much of it, all of it not by choice, choosing the pain feels like a release.

She knows it's wrong. She knows there are better ways of dealing with things. But she can't see to stop herself.

It's her way of reminding herself she has power and control. She picks where the knife goes and how deep it cuts into her skin. She chooses when and where it happens.

It was something she needed and relied on for so long. Until she met Oscar.

They were teenagers when they met. Some birthday party for a mutual friend. Both of them left feeling out of place, so they gravitated towards each other.

Phone numbers were exchanged.

They spent far too much time talking to each other. She felt that he kept her down to earth. That no matter the bad things that happened, he would be there. Even replacing the knife occasionally.

He found her intriguing. Her perspectives on life and her dreams for the future. Her head had a tendency to get stuck in the clouds, but he didn't mind. He likes listening to her talk.

When they both graduate, he invites her to his races. Watching him felt fulfilling in a way, and she likes the traveling.

Yet when she's alone. Her head is sending her to places she can't come back from. When she needs the sting she's come to crave, she's spending the night with her knife.

When Oscar finishes his f2 career and becomes the third driver for Alpine, he ends up confessing his feelings for her. Something she's been wanting to do for years but never could.

A week later, he's kissing her. Her heads find the clouds easily after that. Something about his presence and how he is so genuine clears away the hurricane that is her thoughts.

Being a third driver means Oscar does have a bit more free time. He gets to go home to see her more often. Something she's not used to.

The Australian gets home late one night. He comes in quietly since he figures she's already asleep.

Oh, how terribly wrong he is.

She'd had a fight with her family earlier that day. Her parents have never been good at communication, and they still claim they gave her a better life than what they had. Which is true, she thinks.

She has no reason to be sad.

Another reason to draw the sharp edge across her skin. Another thin red line to add to the ever growing tally.

Oscar sees the bathroom door closed and the light turned on. He hears the clatter next. He presses his ear to the door. Debating whether to make his presence known or if that would scare her more than if he waited.

The hiss of pain is what gets him. "Love? Are you alright?" All movement on the other side stops. Then the clatter again.

She hates when she gets sloppy. She knows she's gone too far, and Kscar wasn't supposed to be home until tomorrow.

She stares down at the crimson colored lines. The contents of the wounds coat her skin at dripping to the floor.

"Love? Please answer."

But she can't answer. what is she supposed to say? That her unhealthy coping mechanism is finally becoming her undoing. The she's tried to stop but the sensation is something she's learned to crave?

Oscar tried the handle. Received to find it unlocked. He opens just a small crack. He's never been one to invade her privacy.

The look of pain in his eyes makes her sob. He dosent move when he sees her. His mind trying to register what he's seeing.

How had he never noticed until now?

He can tell she’s panicking. He gently moves himself to the floor, grabbing a towel as he goes. He doesn’t say anything, just gently start to clean her up.

When he’s successfully disinfected the wounds and has bandages them up, he lead her into their room.

“I know it’s hard, but we have to talk about it.”

She just shakes her head in response. He deserves an explanation. Really, he deserves someone better.

She just tells him everything. Basks in the gentleness of his voice and warmth of his touch as she does so.

~

She was expecting him to leave. Her mind convinced she was unlovable in her state. After all, who could fall in love with someone who crave the sting of a knife?

But she was wrong.

Oscar was somehow filled with a new sense of purpose and they found themselves working together to help her pull through to the other side. A reminder that she is far from alone.

He’s quick to find a way to help her and when he does it feels almost magical.

The butterfly project. The goal is to not kill the butterflies.

They start small. She puts the butterfly on her hand. Just a simple doodle.

It doesn’t last long and she’s crying over the fact she killed it.

The next time around there are two butterflies. One on her and one in Oscar. His drawing take much more time. His deliberate design giving her more motivation to not ruin it.

It’s gone in two weeks and she relapses that day. Yet the fact she made it that far was an accomplishment.

Soon the butterflies are everywhere. Both their arms covered.

It became something she did when she was bored. Her hands drawing the bugs in every open surface.

It was difficult and she slipped but she was getting better.

Oscar was so incredibly proud of her. He got asked frequently about the creatures that littered his skin. He just said he liked them and so does his girlfriend.

When Oscar started with McLaren, Lando noticed them immediately. “If you ever need to talk I’m here if you want.” Oscar shoots him a confused look before remembering the lovely blue butterfly colored in with Sharpie placed in the middle of his forearm.

So she's made it to a year. Sure, she's slipped here and there, but it's nothing like it used to be. It's something to celebrate.

Oscar spends the entire day with her. Praising her acomplishment and reminding her how proud he is if her and how proud she should be of herself.

She is proud. It's something she never thought she could do. Not on her own, at least.

It's Oscar that helped her through and the butterflies in her skin.

Now she's has a permanent one. A reminder she came through to the other side. A reminder that she is not alone. Most importantly, a reminder she's loved.

~

Remember you're not alone.

This was somewhat based on a true story. Here's my reminder to myself every day that I'm not done yet, and neither are you. Keep fighting loves ❤️

[hrts4hanniehae]

clutch || three

there are written parts :)

note that the timeline or educations may not add up but just ignore it because i don't have the brain power to sync up THIRTEEN + 1 's education schedules

also!!!! the story begins in the christmas period of 2022!!!! IF THERE ARE YEAR ERRORS IM SO SORRY!!!! i legit can't change it omfg

okay if we were being very honest, e/n was an attractive guy. well-liked by everyone, especially yn's parents -- mother. he had a good office job, loved the idea of starting a family and was rather... old-fashioned in his thoughts.

e/n had asked her out 2 years prior. she agreed because she was desperate to please her mother. but it wasn't as if she didn't like him. she did. just... not as much as she would have preferred. he was all those good things, but he didn't let her be free. he always talked her down when she brought up her art or passions. but he made her parents happy. so she suppressed it.

when he cheated on her, she didn't feel any sadness. not much resentment either. but when he stole her apartment from her, she lost her shit.

"what do you mean i can't take my apartment back? MY NAME IS ON THE LEASE!!"

"i did not sign that! that's a forged signature! how many times do i have to tell you, i have no recollection of EVER signing my apartment off to him! god why won't you even investigate the signature!"

not only did she have to deal with this bastard's theft, but now she had to deal with him at work too.

"do you know where's the bathroom?" (random museum goer)

she kindly pointed her in the direction of the nearest bathroom.

"oh yn! I didn't know you worked here." - e/n

"hi e/n. what do you need. and where's your side chick." - yn

"she went to the bathroom. i wanted to see you." - e/n

"when the fuck are you going to leave me alone? you already stole my house. what else do you want?" - yn

"yn, you're being ridiculous. just come back to me. i'll ditch her for you. i just wanted to try someone new. you're not exactly a... fun partner you know? fun in that way." - e/n

"leave me alone. i already have a new apartment. just please. i don't fucking like you anymore. just leave me alone. stop harassing me, okay? your idiotic excuses and reasonings don't make ANY sense at all. just go." - yn

"so why haven't you told your mom about our breakup? hm? do you really not like me anymore?" - e/n

"i've told you time and time again. i don't talk to my mother. at all. if you care so much, just tell her yourself. why we broke up. hm? or do you want me to get byeongho to tell her. because I will. i'm not telling her because i'm trying to help you save face. if i tell her, your father will know. and he will not be happy. i'm trying to do one nice thing for you despite you fucking another girl in OUR BED." - yn

and just like a saviour, minghao was running up to her.

"yn, your boss told me to look for you about managing my exhibit. oh. hi e/n. get lost, thanks." - minghao

"mind your own business, [redacted slur]" - e/n

security kicks him out.

"thanks, hao. my day has been ruined because of him." - yn

"i'll buy you lunch? i don't think you've had lunch yet." - minghao

"thanks but i'm good. i don't usually have lunch anyways. i'm going to head home. my shift is over." - yn

"did wonwoo tell you our friend was staying over at your place today?" - minghao

"huh. who? he didn't tell me." - yn

i guess he forgot - minghao

"lee chan, or dino. the soloist. so don't be too shocked if you see him walking around." - minghao

"right. i'll see you tomorrow for lunch, minghao. go hang out with jun." - yn

"he's filming a movie right now. how am i supposed to go see him?" - minghao

"figure it out!" - yn

she forgot about dino and walked into the bathroom not knowing he would be there. luckily, he was half-clothed.

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

synopsis: wonwoo is a popular streamer known for his incredible gaming skills and good looks. He turned heads. but he hates the attention. he just wants to play games and earn money. one day he receives a letter. his apartment’s rent has almost doubled. no warnings at all. his current paycheck from streaming can’t shoulder those bills. he has no choice but to rent out his spare room. to who? a fresh art university graduate who has… 1. a stable job ✅ 2. talent for art and sculpting ✅ 3. many friends ❌ 4. social anxiety ✅ 5. no filter ✅ when his iconic cat logo gets copystriked, she comes to the rescue with a new logo for him. when his apartment’s walls start peeling, she fixes it. whatever he used to struggle with… the empty space... was now filled by her. so what does he *last player standing* do when her ex *enemy spotted* tries to take her back? heh. *clutch* he clutches.

inspired by wonwoo's gam3bo1 streams, falling into your smile & gogo squid (has hints of valorant)

pairing: streamer!jeon wonwoo x fem!artist!reader (ft. jeongcheol, soonhoon, junhao, seoksoo, verkwan)

genre: fluff, comfort, slowburn, comfort, pining, bestfriend!minghao

warnings: stalker ex, toxic ex, mentions of abuse, guns (game), cursing, hate comments, panic attacks

started: 28.12.23

ended: ?

taglist: join from my masterlist

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tags! @fairyofhour @megseungmin @sun-daddy-yoriichi @woozixo @euphoric-univers @christinewithluv @haowonbins @ocyeanicc @asyre @cynthiaaax13 @superhoshisvt @bangantokchy @chimmy-bts @angelarin @daisawa @writingbarnes @jeonghansshitester

@belladaises @wonwootakemyheart @wonwooz1 @luchiet @kookssecret @caratsland @peachescreamandcrumble @thepoopdokyeomtouched @isabellah29 @leah-rose03 @yandere-stories @coupshour @heesbees

[silenzahra]

Fics I'm working on ✨

Hey there! I just thought that, since I'm a veeeery slow (and chaotic) writer, I could let you guys see a list of all the fics, AUs and HCs I'm working on or intend to work on in the near future! ✨

@itsavee4117 @vulpixfairy1985 @keakruiser @peaches2217 @bberetd would you like to take a look? 🥰

Since I take my notes mostly in Spanish, I'll comment and translate a few things:

-Firstly, two of those fics were inspired by two beautiful pieces I LOVE and could stare at forever: this one and this one. Guess the fics they've inspired are both pretty obvious 🤭😝 ("chillando" means "screaming" btw 🤭)

-Secondly, you'll see two AUs that are not mine, but to which I'd like to add my personal take! I'm pretty sure you're all familiar with @multicolour-ink's Anastasia AU 😍 I did write my own version of the ballroom scene, but still gotta go and correct it very deeply (that's actually what "corregir muy a fondo" means). Also, when Multi posted their Hunger Games AU, I mentioned that a few months ago, I went and wrote what could be the beginning of the Hunger Games with Mario and Luigi in the roles of Katniss and Prim, so that's there too! ("repasar y editar" = "revise and edit").

-Thirdly, I wanna go and finally finish my Luigi's Mansion fic, since the third and last chapter is long overdue! The Dream Team one is only a mere idea right now (haven't even taken notes yet), but regarding Superstar Saga, I have written one of the two fics that I mention up there! I gotta go and edit it and then write the other (for this one I have taken notes). Oh, and that Luigi's Mansion 3 fic you see there... Yes, it happens to be the angstier thing I've ever written 🤭 Gotta work on it so I can start posting it soon!

-... Yes, I have four AUs in mind 😬 I've actually written down notes for three of them (and I have the fourth in mind), but... The first two are based on two shows that I don't know how famous are around here? 😬😅 So I'm pretty unsure about posting them 😅 The other two are based on two famous movies, so I do intend to bring them someday. I just don't when yet 😅

-I also have a few HCs that I'd like to share with you guys soon! And of course they had to be focused on Luigi, my favorite Mario character, and Luaisy, my favorite couple 🤭 I love them so much I just couldn't resist! (Also: "cuquis" means "cuties" and is pronounced exactly the same way as "cookies"! 🥰) And about that last one... I've been wanting to write Luaisy smut for a few months now, and @itsavee4117's fic (please go read it if you haven't yet!) inspired me to give it a try (and your words of encouragement too 💖), but I'm still so insecure about it! 😅 I don't know if it'll end up happening someday, but hey, at least the intention is there! ("quiero pero no estoy segura socorro" literally means "I wanna but I'm not sure help" 😂 So yeah, you can see I am truly doubting on this one 😅)

-Last but not least, please allow me to bring back something from almost two months ago: this post. Yes, it's been too long, and I feel terribly sorry for @peaches2217 and @itsavee4117 since you both sent me prompts back in January (which I'm deeply grateful for 💖) and I still. Haven't. Answered. 😬 Dishonor on me and my cow for real.

But hey, you see the first two fics I've listed? Those are the prompts that you sent me and both have been written and are almost ready to finally be shown to the world! 😁 I actually intend to post one of them later today, so if you finally wish to see your questions answered, stay tuned! And again: sorry to keep you waiting for so long. I really hope the wait will be worth it 🫂🤞💖 (Also, thanks to @keakruiser, who also sent me a prompt from this list back in January, I wrote this fic based on Dream Team, so thanks a lot for your prompt, Kea! 💖)

This is it for now! If you have anything to say or ask or comment or whatever, feel free to do so! My asks are open! 💖 (I'll answer my pending asks tomorrow, btw! Promise! Thank you for sending them and sorry for taking too long to answer, I'll really work on fixing that 🫂💖)

Here's my AO3 in case you wanna go check any of the fics I've posted so far! ✨

If you read everything, thank you so so much! 🫂 Love you, dear friends! 💖

[emojellyace08]

Okay I might come up with a rant right now...

(Warning: SPOILERS AND SENSITIVE CONTENT READ AT YOUR OWN RISK)

Just read Vin Jin's backstory and I honestly felt bad for him. Bro deserves better.

And announcement that I wouldn't write Taejin because he's a messed up motherfucker. I kind of cringe when one time I wrote something for him before it was revealed what kind of person he really is (he r**** Vin's sister). I would make edits and remove him. I also wouldn't write for the fake Baek Hangyeol (the fake doctor). Probably other characters as well? I don't know I might take considerations but I would be picky choosing what to write.

So far I will write for J-High, Big Deal, God Dog, Vin Jin, (I like writing good and sane characters lol) probably Gun and Goo? James might be considered but I'll still think about it (if he's ever really Charles Choi's second body I would go nuts and won't write him anymore since it will be very fucking weird). For Workers I am really picky as well.

I might be picky doing writing with the other characters.

And for the request and posting schedule!

I would write fluff, aus (I really love the crossovers and requests you guys make. I might do a zombie one with my own art since I'm in my L4D phase rn lol) and angst (probably less smut but that doesn't mean I won't write it anymore, I would just be picky about what lies on that category and if it is morally acceptable).

And I won't write weird ass stuff either.

Posting schedule isn't finalized yet but either around Thursday to Sunday (depends when I'm active). But I'll be probably be posting in Fridays first? I'm busy with my personal life right now.

Request Lists (that I haven't done yet)

Lookism (J-High AU) with reader (Part 2 for the Gen 0 ver.)

Fem! Gojo Reader x Lookism (Part 2)

Johan x Female Reader (feel free to add more information about how I will write it).

Gun x Female Reader (requested by rukuk)

(Feel free to add ideas if I left something on the list and requests might be done REALLY late since I got to focus on my studies. But I'll prioritize the other first requests before doing the others. But I already have saved drafts, just unfinished).

I'll try to post maybe later or tomorrow (I'm cramming right now so yeah. Wait for other announcements and posts for now. Thank you!)

[bellaxgiornata]

I was trying to find new matt fics to read and your page came up which personally I think it’s a sign to reread FFTD until the new installment comes out

Ahhh!! Omg well I'm glad my fics are fairly easy to find 😆 I don't know how easy searching for fics are on tumblr, but if you want to read something new I can recommend some authors that I know off the top of my head that have some multi-chapter fics if that's what you're looking for!

@loveroftoomanyfandoms (she has a few Matt series' that have been transferred from AO3 recently)

@mattmurdocksscars (I keep meaning to read Back From the Dead!)

@shouldbestudying41 (I believe she has links to her fic on AO3 that I keep meaning to read as well!!)

@theetherealbloom (I need to catch up Notre Dame but it's definitely an interesting fic!)

@shiorimakibawrites (the Alley Cat series is told through installments and yet another I need to catch up on that is so good!)

@souliebird (Soulie just yesterday posted the first chapter of a new Dad Matt fic that is SO GOOD)

Edited to add in (because I knew I blanked on other Matt x Reader series and probably still have):

@she-likesorchids (she has a great Murderdock series!)

@courtforshort15 (Skyfall is AMAZING 👏🏻)

@pastafossa (in the off chance anyone looking here for recs for multi-chapter Matt x Reader fics has somehow NOT heard of The Red Thread. I always forget to mention TRT because it's like Matt Murdock fandom classic lit and I assume we have all read or seen it 🙌🏻)

I'm sure I'm blanking on many other wonderful authors here who have multi-chapter Matt fics because I woke up like ten minutes ago but I thought I'd suggest some!! Or feel free to enjoy your read through of FFTD 🤣 I am hoping to edit up the next installment in one sitting later today and see how it reads, but it's just under 18k words so I'm sure that's going to be time consuming 😆 I am hoping either tonight or tomorrow I will get it posted, but it's truthfully the only thing I've been working on this week so ATY won't have an update for a few days either. But that is probably what I will work on writing next!

[niobe-loreley]

Heaven Is In A Shortcake {xvii}

AND NOW~ IT WAS TIME~ FOR TUMBLR TO DROWN IN THE SWEET SORROW OF THIS FIC'S 17TH CHAPTER

disclaimer: The Gray Man and the characters are NOT mine, even the reader. I only own the plot and the reader's character lol. Pictures used in the fic are NOT MINE, but only the edited version (u can msg me if u ze owner); credits to the rightful owners and canva + weheartit. Additionally, I am not a Subic/Zambales native, so my apologies for any wrong locations, descriptions, or languages.

Six x F!Reader / Courtland Gentry x Female Reader

warnings: moderate amount of swear words. some filipino dialogues. slow burn. fluff. trust issues. dramaramramamama. comedy if you use a magnifying glass. culture shock. word count check. slightly proofread/revised.

CHAPTER SELECTION IS IN THE ✨Masterlist✨ Chapter 16 was the icon Chapter 17 is the legend

word count: 3.9k (N/N) = nickname *Kiara = Clare *Kurt = Court *cover names = reader doesn't know YET (except you do know #wreckthe4thwall)

This has got to be kidnapping.

Yet how can it be when you're not even verbally struggling to escape?

The only physical binding you have is your sprained ankle. If you didn't have that, you can easily jump out of the car.

But you dare not anger Court any further. He might not let you leave them until you ripen of old age.

Would that be so bad, though?

You blush, sharply averting your gaze out the window as if it would throw the thought away. Being with Court and Claire in less than three hours for thrice a week should be enough for friends hanging out.

Right?

So, why are you wishing for more time?

Why are you always at the edge of your seat waiting for them?

Why is it always hard to watch them walk out of the cafe without you?

The answers are obvious. You just don't want to indulge them again, especially after what happened tonight.

"Home runnnn!" Claire shouts happily as she races through the garage. She certainly looked like she batted a ball out of the field, arms raised overhead, open-mouthed grin, and keys dangling noisily.

You and Court stay silent as Claire unlocks the door. He has you in his arms again, but you don't breathe a complaint this time.

"Want to take a bath, (N/N)?" Claire asks when the three of you entered the guestroom.

You nod. "Sure, that'd be grand."

Court gently sets you down on the bed. "Do you, um, need help?" he questions with a red face, "Taking a bath?"

You laugh. "I'm not that incapacitated, dude. Just get me a chair, towel, and clothes."

"Here's a towel!" Claire gets one from the closet and deposits it on the bed in a flash, "I'll go get a plastic chair!"

She's out of the room before either of you can blink.

"What a proactive teen," you comment amusedly before the silence becomes awkward.

Court snorts in agreement, looks at you for a few seconds, and turns away. "Hey, listen, you can borrow my clothes for the time being."

"Do you have my kind of underwear this time?" you tease.

"About the underwear.. we can buy some tomorrow morning." Court awkwardly rubs his nape, "There's a— what do you call this.. a small market at the park tomorrow. It's always there every Saturday, from 6 AM to 10 AM."

"A tiangge?"

"Yeah, that!"

"Alright, it'd probably be good for me to walk around tomorrow."

"Who says you'll be walking around?"

"Uh, I did?"

"No, you're staying in the car."

"What?"

"My house, my car, my rules."

You chuckle. "Court, seriously.. what are you doing? This is rather sweet and all, but you're lowkey scaring me." you swiftly add to ease his growing anxiety, "It's scary in a funny way, actually. But I'm getting worried that you're over-worrying about me."

He glances down at the floor. "Isn't this what friends do?" and peers at you with eyes so dubious it's as though he doesn't know the meaning of friends.

"Yeah, it is.. and I would do the same for you, it's just that…" you look straight into his eyes, "This kind of overworrying feels different. I can't help but think it feels different. This, us, we.. feel different. But I don't want to think it does, I want to know." 

You're quick to realize what you just said, their weight and meaning, so you let out a loud laugh. Hopefully it will dispel your statements.

"Or maybe it's just me!— Me being silly ol' me," you snicker.

Yet Court is looking at you as though he understands the facade you're wearing.

"What's so funny?" Claire drags a monoblock chair into the room.

You shake your head. "I was just mimicking Flint Lockwood."

"You know Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs?!"

"Know it? I've watched it a hundred times!"

"There! Good as new!" Claire declares, satisfied.

After taking a bath, the father-daughter duo helped you with your wounds again. Claire has just finished bandaging your elbow. While Court went to get another compression bandage after leaving an ice pack on your ankle.

"Kiara.. may I ask you something?"

She snorts. "Of course. And no need to be all formal."

"How did you and Kurt find me?"

Claire freezes, the look on her face somewhat resembles a search engine loading continuously due to a weak internet. "Um, well.. we were going to invite you to watch a movie with us," she smiles sheepishly, "It's Friday. And it's been a while.

"Anyway, we knew you were going to Lillia's, so we turned around and drove to the hotel. We got there just as you were being chased."

You resist a shudder when you hear derisive howling in your ears. You wonder how long those guys will be in your mind, their laughs and hoots bouncing back and forth, reverberating your skull.

"I'm glad you two turned around," you smile at Claire with glassy eyes. "Thank you, Kiara."

She's stunned until tears brim her eyes. But Claire doesn't let them fall. "Don't just thank me. It's Six who beat their asses," she snickers.

"Who?" you ask.

"What?" Claire replies and freezes in realization.

"(Y/N), are you hungry?" Court inquires, sidling in the room.

"No, thank you." you glance at him from head to toe, "How about you? Didn't all that ass kicking got you starving?"

"Not really." Court sits on a chair at the edge of the bed. He takes off the ice pack from your ankle, which he towel-dries before he mindfully wraps a compression bandage around it.

He's too focused on your sprain while you're so engrossed watching him that neither of you notice Claire sneaking out of the room.

"Hey, can you come over here and hand me the ice pack?"

Court just finishes bandaging your sprain. Yet he wastes no time obliging you. This, again, neither of you notices.

"You found another welt on you?" he asks, sounding like he's half-joking (but he's not).

You snatch the ice pack from him and press it up against his left jaw. Court is monumentally unprepared for the "assault" that he winces in pain.

"Nope! Found a bruise on you, though." you say, snickering.

Court lets the astonishment wash over him. "You notice that?" he asks, somewhat amazed.

"At first, I thought it was a tattoo."

"Really?"

"No, I'm joking."

"Oh.."

You snort. "Doofus."

"Twerp," he fires back, flaring.

You double over, laughing. But you still have the ice pack steady on his jaw. "Sometimes you're a sore loser," you examine his face for any more injuries, but it's hard when he's scrunching it up to a scowl. "No, scratch that, you are one."

"And you're just infuriating. All. The. Time." he remarks with hardening emphasis.

"But you love me," you intone jokingly.

Court stares at you, astounded. And as the blood creep up his face, your laugh dies down in shame.

He knows you're joking, right?

You know you were joking.. right?

Sure, you like-like him, but you wouldn't call it love. Infatuation is more like it. Or stirrings, as Captain Jack Sparrow termed it.

Your inner self gives you an unimpressed look.

'Ok, fine.. feelings.'

Court calls your name.

"Huh? What?" you snap out of your stupor.

Court grabs the ice pack from you and off his jaw. "I asked if you want to call somebody." he says with genuine concern.

"Oh… I don't think I can talk to anybody about what happened just yet."

"Okay," he pauses, "Sorry.. I thought you'd feel better if you talked to Mindy. Or maybe Erick."

You chuckle. "I would if we were still dating."

Court blinks at you.

You elaborate. "I mean, we were only dating. He's not really my boyfriend in the first place."

"So… You two aren't dating anymore?" Court asks.

"That's right." you nod and pretend like your heart is not leaping up your throat because of what you plan to say next. "I told Erick I can't  date him anymore because I realized I already like someone else. Even before him."

"So," he hums inquisitively, "You're dating this someone now?"

You shake your head, smiling sadly. "No, I haven't told him I like him yet."

He gulps. "Why is that?"

"Because after what happened tonight, as much as I want him to know.. I don't want him to think it's because he saved me."

Court is looking at you like you're a thousand-piece puzzle.

You blush. "I know I've liked this guy for a long while now. And I know this isn't the right time, but.. I'm idiotically still trying to tell him. That I like him."

Silence spreads to every corner of the room. And if it weren't for the crickets serenading outside, the silence would be awkward the way it should be.

Court is still saying nothing. He has his eyes on the floor and you have no idea what's going on in his mind.

Typically, you're that friend who advises their other friends to just say it— do it!— Don't ride the merry-go-around.

Yet here you are, dangling on one of the carousel horses as it spins for all eternity.

"You should get some rest." Court says finally.

"Huh?"

"I said, you should get some rest."

"Oh… That's what I thought you said."

He hauls out something from his jacket pocket. "Here.. the channel is all set," he nods at the walkie-talkie, "Keep it open and call me as soon as you need me— or anything."

"Sure," you grab the device absentmindedly. "Good night."

"Good night."

And then he leaves, shutting the door behind him.

You look at the transceiver, place it on the bedside drawer, and expel a hefty sigh. "Ang tanga mo talaga," you tell yourself, forcibly lying down. "Stupid, stupid, stupid! You should've just told him!— Why didn't you tell him? Oh right, because I'm an idiotic, no good, shit for brains, twat!"

A sharp twinge rises up your leg as a scratching pain erupts from the rest of your body. "Ow, ow, ow," you stop thrashing, slowly placing your sprained ankle atop the pillow it was on. You sigh exasperatedly, "I'm such a dumbass."

"You're such a dumbass!"

"Excuse me?" Court glares at Claire over his shoulder as they climb up the stairs.

She rolls her eyes. "Her message was as clear as the archipelago sun!"

"Whose?"

"(N/N), duh!"

He furrows his brows. "What message?"

She snaps her fingers. "And that's why you're such a dumbass."

"Fine. Whatever. Just get to bed."

"Fine! Let's all see how this stupidity between you and (N/N) plays out!"

Claire storms in her room and noisily shuts the door before Court can retort. He ponders what she's got to be mad about.

He takes a short bath, sets another set of clothes aside for you, and checks the house's security.

No one's after you three.

That's not just why Court suggested you stay with them for a few days. This is better than you staying all night at the cafe alone. And like hell he'll ever leave you alone after what happened tonight.

Court checks the handgun under his pillow as he looks at the guestroom's feed.

If someone did come after them, he'll have no choice but to take you with him and Claire.

Suddenly, he recalls what you said earlier as he lays on the bed.

"...as much as I want him to know.. I don't want him to think it's because he saved me."

You're not talking about him, right?

"I know I've liked this guy for a long while now—"

There's just no way, right?

"—And I know this isn't the right time, but.. I'm idiotically still trying to tell him. That I like him."

Court abruptly sits upright. "Fuck!" he breathes out, wishing he can do the same to the heat in his cheeks. "Don't do this to yourself, man. You're 100% uncertain."

Maybe you were just delirious from the trauma.

Yeah, that's plausible. 

But also worrisome.

Court glances over to his desk, where the security feed is showing any events live inside, outside, and ten meters around the house. But he's focused on one feed: the guestroom.

You're fast asleep already. And how you're so unmoving sets paranoia ablaze in his veins. 

He has the right to worry, right?

So, it's okay for him to switch on the guestroom's camera audio and cranks it up until he hears your breathing, right?

He puts on one earbud and doesn't dwell on the fact that what he's doing is downright creepy.

Setting up a tablet beside him on the bed, Court finds the security feed on the device. He then lies back down and tries closing his ends. Not after a minute, he ends up watching you on the screen.

'Hopeless..'

He ignores his demons snickering at him.

As he continues eyeing the security feed of the premises, particularly you, Court doesn't realize he fell asleep.

Until he hears you scream.

"NO! NO! STOP— PLEASE!"

Court practically becomes The Flash. He bolts down to the guestroom before his eyes can fully open.

He shouts your name as he bursts in the room. Opening the lights, he finds that you have no (external) attacker.

You're sitting down, yet you looked like you ran a marathon. "Hey, Kurt," you wipe the cold sweat off your brow. "I'm so sorry for waking you."

He stammers. "No. Not really, I.. I just got up to get some water."

You glance at the time, 1:35 AM. "Still, sorry for disturbing you and shit."

Court sighs. "Stop apologizing. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Maybe 99 more to get it through my thick skull?"

"That's probably not enough."

You laugh, shaking your head, and you scratch behind your ear. "Did I wake Claire up, too?"

Court glances out the door when he hears footsteps. Claire carefully rounds the corner, armed with a handgun dipped towards the floor. 

"No, she's still asleep." he blankly says as he turns back to you.

You heave a brow. "Why are you lying?"

Court is taken aback. Was he that obvious? No one can usually read him, not even Claire; although, Donald and Margaret used to.

"Oh, Claire!" you holler in a singsong voice.

The teen reluctantly peers in the room, hiding her weapon behind her. "H-Hiya," she smiles nervously.

You chuckle. "The two of you should get back to bed. I'm sorry for getting you out of there in the first place."

"It wasn't your fault you had a nightmare, (N/N)." says Claire. "Would—"

"Would you like some company?" Court asks just before the teen could. He looks at her in befuddlement, while she sneers maniacally at him.

"No, you two should rest." you give a small smile, "I'll be fine."

Except you didn't get to be.

For the past three hours, you've woken up from several nightmares. Only a few of them did you wake up screaming. Sometimes you can't even sleep immediately because it takes you back to the same bad dream. 

It takes all of Court's might not to barge back in the guestroom, lay down next to you, and kick all those nightmares in the ass.

After your first nightmare, Court hasn't slept a wink. He returned to his room and watched you through the security feed. When you've had your second nightmare, he quickly sets up the sandbag in his room and starts whaling on it.

But there's only so much that he can take from hearing your cries. He tried muting your security feed, yet for some reason, it's worse than before.

So, Court has selfishly decided that you need someone with you tonight. Whether you like it or not. 

He waited until you're back in deep sleep after a nightmare.

Without little to no sound, Court sneaks into the guestroom and places a chair beside the bed. And as he sits there, it just hits him that he doesn't know what the fuck to do. You'll probably have a heart attack when you wake up and find him staring at you.

How should he comfort you?

He pinches himself when the first thought he has is to get in bed with you. There's got to be another way other than that— it'll be the last resort.

You suddenly let out a grunt, stirring, and Court flinches, readying to flee. But you're still asleep. It's another nightmare.

Court spots your clenched fist and tightens his jaw. He looks at your grimacing face, and for some reason, it's similar to your concentrating face. Now, here's a thought: what if you're suppressing yourself for him and Claire? So that you won't wake them up because of your nightmares.

He chuckles in both disbelief and admiration. That'd truly be you. Even when you're having trouble, you're still looking after them.

Breathing in and out, Court takes your balled hand in both of his. He strokes your fist, tracing patterns on your skin until he feels your muscles release their contraction. Gently, he unfurls your tightened fingers and soothes them one by one.

Compared to his, your appendages are small and smooth. It astonishes him how a hard worker such as yourself has dainty hands. But he stands corrected when he feels a few callouses. Nevertheless, your hand fascinates him.

What would it feel like to hold both of your hands in his own?

The thought is cut short when he feels crescent marks on your palm. Court frowns at that and then at you. "Idiot.. stop taking on everything by yourself," he whispers and carefully holds your hand in both of his. "I'll be here for you, (Y/N). I am here. You just.. gotta see me."

For the second time tonight, Court has fallen asleep watching you.

And once again, you're the one to wake him. But not with a scream this time.

"Court," you softly call, tugging on his hands.

With his name like a feather on your lips, everything within him stirs wildly into life. But he doesn't show that effect you have on him.

He slowly rises from slumping on the bed. "Hey, sorry, did I scare you?" he blurts out with one eye still closed.

You chuckle. "No, you didn't."

"Get back to sleep. I'll just be here."

"Why don't you..?"

"Hm?" Court blinks at you curiously.

You fight back the blush, scoot further in the bed, and pat the space beside you. "I don't think you're comfortable there. Why don't you sleep here instead?"

He gulps. "Aren't you gonna ask me what I'm doing here first?"

"Will you answer me honestly? Or tell me to shut up and rest?" you question amusedly.

"Both?" he stifles a grin.

You shortly laugh before you tug him towards you. It doesn't take long for him to fold. Just you holding his hand is enough to make Court roll over for you.

He worriedly climbs in the bed—

"Oh, wait!"

"What?!"

"Let's switch."

".. Why?"

You redden. "I don't want you sleeping on my sweat, man! Understand?!"

He looks at you for a few seconds and sputters out a laugh. "Alright, fine," he says before you can chastise him for laughing. You scoot over as he rounds the bed, "There. Happy?"

"Very," you nod and settle down.

"Oh, wait!" he exclaims this time.

"What?!"

Court returns to his room to retrieve his clothes that you were going to wear later in the morning. "Change. You stink." he chucks them to you, sneering.

"Go away, then." you snarl.

"Like hell I would."

"Just turn around, moron!"

He obliges, snickering, and when he faces away from you, horrific realization strikes like vicious lightning across his chest. 

You're undressing. With him still in the room. And it's just the two of you. Has he mentioned that you're currently undressing?

His demons are biting into the side of his neck, yanking at him to look over at you. This is bad. His self-control is losing a lot of blood.

"Need any help?"

Yup, that's significant blood loss right there.

"No, I got this. Thanks, Kurt."

After an eternity (minute) of suffering..

"Done!" you exhale, relieved.

And so did Court. 

He rigidly gets in the bed without glancing at you. His self-control needs recharging, it doesn't help that you're half-an-arms length away. But even just a visual on you is lethal.

The two of you are staring at the ceiling. Until you turn your head to Court, just as he risks a glance at you. His self-control can't charge anymore.

You grin apologetically. "Sorry for keeping you up. Let's get some rest," and roll on your side, facing away from him. "Good night."

"Yeah, night." he replies, staring at your back.

Before horrendous thoughts can start invading his mind, Court notices something amusing. 

He stifles a grin, his shirt is like a blanket on you. The way it hangs on you with too many folds screams that you're wearing an extremely baggy top. It'll never not be entertaining to have you in his clothes. What's more, only ⅓ of your feet are sticking out the hem of his joggers.

This time, Court doesn't fall asleep watching you. Because with you up close, he's granted visual acuity to scrutinize you evenly.

Your hair doesn't appear damp despite the cold sweat you're experiencing from the nightmares.

The curve of your shoulder somewhat displays tenacity and elegance simultaneously.

How can such a tiny body hold so much strength and carry such burdens?

Eventually, the nightmares are back. And Court is ready for them.

As soon as you're stirring abnormally and moaning in fear, Court props onto his elbow and carefully grabs your shoulder. He calls your name, shaking you gently.

You jolt awake, breathing heavily. "Court," you look at him, the fear in your wide eyes diminishing gradually. "Did I wake you?"

"No," says Court, steeling his resolve. "Come here."

You almost didn't understand what he said. Until he pulls you to him. And you move compliantly.

Court shimmies his arm under your head, while the other clutches your waist, pulling you closer until there's no space between your back and his chest.

You stifle a squeak when he slips a leg between yours. "Sorry," he says in your hair, "Just gotta get this.."

He clasps the edge of the pillow with his toes and carefully reels it. "Lift your left leg up," he tells you, and you oblige. He leaves the pillow between your legs and grabs the one you lifted. "You can put this down now."

He helps you in setting your sprained ankle down on the pillow.

"Good girl."

Oh, damn..

Thank the heavens you're not facing him right now. He'd probably mistake your face for a stove.

"No nightmare is getting to you now."

"Huh?"

You feel him moving his face against the back of your head.

"I said," he pauses, voice low, breaths fanning on your ear. "No nightmare is getting to you now. Because I'm protecting you."

Your heart finds it hard to go back to its place after cartwheeling up your throat. And when it's reminded of the position you and Court are presently in, your heart threatens to roll out your mouth.

"The nightmares are in my head, though." you chuckle, placing a hand on the arm you're resting your head on, you reach for his hand. "Thank you."

Court watches, with fireworks gleefully exploding in his chest, as you intertwine your hand with his. When the festivities calm down, he gives your hand a squeeze.

"You're always welcome, (Y/N)."

A/N: these chapters will be all FOR NOW~ I am continuing this fic y'all, albeit it'll be from time to time (ehem month to month huhuhuhu)

The door to Chapter 18 is blocked

✨TAGLIST✨

@kat-thepoet @queenofhellhasrisen @sierrasixswife @vallyb @lyuir @yvxcy @justareaderdude  @sortingharryshairclip

[canirove]

Broken Hearts Football Club | Chapter 13

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"Are you ready for Sunday's game?" Ben asked.

"I was born ready" June smiled.

"If you win, the league is yours."

"No way, really?"

"You can't be sarcastic and smile at the same time, Maxwell. It loses all its meaning."

"Shut up and keep cutting that tomato" she said, trying really hard to stop smiling like an idiot. 

She and Ben had kept seeing each other even more often, spending most of her free afternoons and nights at his house since she still shared her flat with John, and they would usually follow the same routine. 

She would buy some food after training, they would cook it together, and then eat it while watching something on tv until one of them fell asleep. Nine times out of ten, that would be June. Since she didn't like driving that late at night, she would stay at Ben's, always in the same room. By now, it felt as if it belonged to her. 

She had some clothes in the closet to get changed, a toothbrush and some creams in the bathroom, an extra blanket on the bed for when she got cold, a phone charger.... And if you asked Ben, he would tell you that it already smelled of her, of that perfume she always wore and that reminded him of his summer holidays in Spain.

In the mornings, and if June didn't have training, they would go out for a walk around the neighborhood before going back home and making breakfast, sitting together once again to eat and just talk, getting to know each other more and more. They weren't seeing the other as June Maxwell and Ben Chilwell anymore. They were just June and Ben. Two friends who occasionally made out.

"Are you doing anything special after the game?" he asked.

"Celebrate" she smirked. 

"And if you don't win?" 

"We are winning, Chilwell. Stop trying to jinx it."

"I'm not trying anything" he said, lifting his hands.

"Careful! You have a knife there!"

"Oh, sorry" he said, putting it down. 

"That was dangerous, Ben."

"I know, I'm sorry" he said, kissing her cheek.

"Being cute won't make me forget that I had a knife next to my eye."

"It wasn’t next to your eye" he laughed.

"That's what you say. You weren't paying attention."

"I'm sorry" he said, kissing her cheek again and hugging her from behind.

"Ben… Stop."

"Why?" he asked, now kissing her neck.

"Because I also have a knife, and you are distracting me."

"Am I?" he said against her skin, sending goosebumps down her spine.

"Ben… please."

"Ok, fine" he chuckled. "But only because that burger smells amazing and I'm famished" he said with a cheeky smile.

"Thank you" June replied, trying to focus on what she was doing and not on how close Ben's body had been to hers, on how he had made her feel. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“How does it feel lifting the league trophy, June?” Andrew asked.

“Honestly… best feeling ever” she said, a big smile on her face.

“How are you going to celebrate?”

“I don’t know yet. We may wait until the party on Tuesday with the boys to do something big and celebrate both titles together. But I heard there is pizza in the changing room, so that’s a beginning” she laughed.

“I like how that sounds” Jacob said. “What about you, Chilly? Anything to add?”

“Just congratulations. And behave yourself, Maxwell. I may have gone soft on you this season, but that may not happen on the next one” he smirked.

“I’ll try” she winked, noticing how Ben’s cheeks had turned a shade darker. 

“Ok, I think we can let June go eat that pizza” Andrew chuckled. 

“I think we can, yes” Jacob said. “Enjoy the summer, June. You deserve it.”

“Thank you, guys. You too” she smiled. “And you keep an eye on your phone” she whispered to Ben once her microphone was off. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Are we doing something tomorrow or not?” Vittoria asked.

“I think I’m gonna be too tired, to be honest” Lauren yawned. They were on the bus on their way back to London, most of their teammates taking a nap or just catching up with their families after celebrating at the stadium.

“June?”

“I have plans” she said, her eyes fixed on her phone.

“Plans? With whom?”

“With Chilly, obviously” Lauren chuckled. “Are you taking your relationship to the next base?”

“There is no relationship” June replied, rolling her eyes.

“But whatever you have going on is going to the next base, isn’t it?”

“I would not complain if it happened” she smirked.

“June!” Vittoria laughed.

“What? The last time we met he was touchier than usual and I’ve been horny since then. I need a release.”

“Did she drink anything?” Vittoria asked Lauren. “She had never been this… open about her feelings for him.”

“I don’t have feelings for him.”

“Of course you don’t, June. Of course you don't” Vittoria said.

“Lauren, what is it?” June said, ignoring her other friend.

“Uh?” 

“You are giving me Leah’s judgy look. What is going on inside that head of yours?"

“It’s nothing. I’m just trying to decide when you are going to fuck up things with Chilly” Lauren shrugged.

“Lauren! Don’t be like that” Vittoria said. “This may work out, he may be the one!"

“He might, yes. But we both know June, and she could still ruin it.”

“Love the confidence” June replied. “But he isn’t the one or the love of my life. He is just a friend.”

“Yeah, yeah. A friend you don’t have feelings for and that you want to shag just because you are horny.”

“Exactly” she said, trying to keep all the things she had been feeling for him lately locked in the back of her head. All the times he had made her heart skip a beat with something he had said or with a smile. All the times she had felt funny things on her stomach when he had kissed her, touched her. They were just friends and nothing else, she couldn’t allow herself to think otherwise. It was too scary, and as Lauren said, she would definitely end fucking things up.

[kahlanmars]

BAD FEELING 14

I am so early it's getting annoying, you know, but I feel so happy when I write this! Also, I'm a GREAT Taylor Swift fan so if you think "Uhm, that's a funny coincidence" it's not lol.

Comment if you want me happyyyyy! I don't know if it's worth it to keep going, I don't know if people like it or not!

MASTERLIST

gif not mine

14. One kiss, one page

The first days in District Thirteen are far from perfect. The suit they gave you is the most horrendous piece of clothing they could ever choose, and make up is forbidden. It is like they want to erase all the pretty things from the world.

You asked to be placed in Haymitch’s room, but they told you it wasn’t possible if you weren’t married. 

You are in quarantine, which means no mom, no Effie and no Katniss, you are all in a room with a lot of beds and parasols and grey curtains. They love grey, from what you’ve seen. Perla and Lora are still asleep, they are worse injured than you, and Finnick is working with something technological speaking with someone, but you can’t sleep.

The bright side is that for a night you still have your man. Tomorrow he is sent to rehab, a violent and deeply wrong kind of rehab you can’t quite put a finger on. Are they trying to make him feel worse? Because he is a spectacular asset in the revolution, but even a genius can’t think straight with tremors and headaches. 

«Can I tell you something without sounding ungrateful? Because I am. I am deeply grateful that you saved me.» You say, while Haymitch is in your bed. His hands are already shaking from the addiction, but you like to think your caresses can make the situation a little better. He hums in pleasure in response so maybe you are right.

«Go on.» 

«I don’t like this place.» You whisper. «All these rules are weird. I am not saying I would go back to the Capitol, but…»

He shuts you up with a kiss. «You made your point.» And he made his. You couldn’t speak freely, not yet. From the Capitol to District 13 you are still in the game, just with another character.

«Maybe I will like it better after quarantine.» You humour him. «I really hope I’ll be able to visit you.»

«Perhaps you shouldn’t. They explained what will happen, and they mentioned rage, hallucinations, there is a reason why I’m in isolation.» You’ve seen him in bad places before, but hallucinations… that scares you a little, you have to admit it. 

«I can handle it.» You murmur looking at his blue eyes. 

«You don’t have to.» 

«Yes I need to.» You shake your head. «You are not my mentor anymore.» 

«I know but-»

«No. You are not my mentor anymore, or my employer for what it matters. You don’t need to protect me from the world, what have I told you before? I am an adult just like you. I took care of you before, I cleaned your mess and stayed with you. I’m strong, Haymitch. And I like you. And if we want to continue what we have, and of course you want to because I’m flawless and stunning, we have to take care of each other. Fifty fifty.» 

He is silent. You didn’t want to give him a lecture, but at the same time he has to understand that he is not your boss. The power dynamics in your relationship are fucked up, but you are not a damsell in distress.

But maybe you overstepped. «If, if you want to keep going with it, of course.» You add, and now your eyes are on the floor.

«I wouldn’t have begun something with you if I didn’t know about the revolution.» He whispers.

«Funny, I thought I was going to die in a week.»

«I knew you weren’t. I mean, there was a chance, but not a high one.» He lifts up your chin, forcing you to watch him in the eyes. «I’m not good with those things.» He confesses.

«I know. I just want to know if you want it. Because if you don’t want it’s okay, but if you would like to be with me, without any label of sort, just you and me… Well we know we work well together.» 

«I’m a mess.» He argues.

«Do you want it?» You insist.

«You are twenty four and I’m forty one.» He retorts.

«Do you want me?» 

«I’m not a relationship type.»

«I never asked for a relationship but if you don’t want me I deserve to know.»

He shuts the hell up for a moment, and you can’t help but think of the worst. «Are you tired of me?»

He takes your lips in a kiss so fierce and powerful that is almost violent, all of his strength is on your body, all of his weight on you. «Never.» He answers between kisses.

You smirk. «I have broken ribs, you savage.» 

«Oh fuck sorry, I didn’t think.» He tries to get up but you immediately take him and push him down to you. He didn’t think. Not “I didn’t think about it”, he didn’t think because he was so whipped by you.

«Nah-ah, mine.» You purr in his ear. «Is that a yes?»

He just nods. You get it’s hard for him, after his parent’s and girlfriend’s death. He was isolated from the whole world, he said it himself he didn’t want to get attached to you. You managed to keep him tied to you nonetheless. 

«I like you so much. You don't have to tell me anything but I want you to know.» Because he thinks he doesn't deserve this. And maybe, just maybe, if you keep repeating it he will believe you.

«You have to get some sleep, sweetheart.» He kisses your forehead. You giggle at this exposure of tenderness.

«I don't want to waste time. What if there's a cute doctor and you fall in love with her?» This time you joke, but he rolls his eyes.

«Given the fact that I have been living like an hermit since I was seventeen, I think you are pretty safe in that field.» You hope. You tend to be the jealous type, you were with Clark and it wasn’t a sensual situation, you don’t know how you could react to jealousy in a relationship. Even if yours is not a relationship.

«They will have their claws on you. You are handsome, you know?» You start peppering kisses on his neck. «All the girls want to be me.»

«You are delusional.» You aren’t. As much as Perla can joke about it and Finnick can says he is old, he is not even fifty, he has strong arms and blue eyes, and he is magnetic in everything he does. You feel a little safer just because he is in disguise as this drunk grumpy crazy man who doesn’t want to talk to anyone, but it’s a charade. And even when he was playing the part he used to go to every shop in District 12 to buy something, just to help the people who worked there with his victor’s money. During Christmas he sometimes gave candies to the kids, or he gave you the money to do so without his name on it. He has a great heart. You hope women don’t notice it too much. 

«Oh c'mon! Maybe this drunk character you've created is not that appealing, but you must know you are good looking.» Even Katniss said it, when he was younger he was a looker.

«I was. When I was sixteen. At your age I was already a wreck.»

«No you weren't! And you are not now.»

You stay silent for a moment, and you stroke his hair. 

You hate Snow for what he has done to him, and you can’t help but wonder why you are not a wreck. You should be, you killed two people. People who had a family, dreams, ambitions. You always thought you would have been traumatised for that, thinking they had mothers who cried for them, children maybe, as for the Capitol man. In reality it didn’t happen. You can sleep at night. The Capitol man was a rapist and he deserved it, and you repeatedly asked Clark to be in an alliance with you, you begged him, and he was actively trying to kill you from the start.

Are you just evil? You know Haymitch is not, and he tries so hard to be. Maybe you try so hard to be good because you are evil.

«How was she?» You suddenly ask. 

«Who?» He frowns.

«Marjorie.»

You are sure he will stand up and go away, and you see in his eyes he is about to do this but he squeezes your hand.

«We were very young. She was the baker's daughter, like Peeta. She was beautiful. All the boys wanted her, you know.» He indulges himself to be a little proud of his younger self, who succeeded in conquering the most beautiful girl in the district. You ignore the sting of jealousy, because it’s nonsense. She is dead.

«Did you love her?» 

«I was sixteen. Sneaking in the meadows to have sex is not exactly love.»

«It is at sixteen.» You press a kiss on his cheek. «I'm not going to say it.» You didn't deserve this, you were a kid in a game stronger than you. And she didn't deserve it either, barely in a young love. It is not your fault. Not everyone you love will die. It is not a curse. You are not the problem.

«Thanks.»

He takes your face in his hands and he gives you a long deep kiss. 

«You survived.» You can read his mind: you managed to survive despite him, it is a miracle, he should probably leave you alone because a miracle doesn’t happen twice. 

«I'm pretty hard to kill. Thanks for the water.» You want to keep the conversation on a lighter note. He is done talking about his late girlfriend, it’s a great gift he even agreed to this at all. 

«No problem, gorgeous.» He pats your leg. Oh if you weren’t in a room full of people you would have know how to spend the last night with your man. 

«Would you read for me?» You suggest, «Since we are not sleeping. I want to read all the books you have, I've always been envious of your library.»

He laughs. «I clearly remember you stealing my books while you were cleaning.»

«What can I say? Now I've read all the books beside your bed. We know each other better.»

He nods, amused by your ability to speak your way out of any situation. «Little thief. Good thing you are so beautiful.» He is in a playful mode now, so he leans down for a peck.

«Shhh, read the book. Pleeeease.» You blush a little, but two can play at this game. 

He takes a book from his bed and goes back to you. “Tales of Panem”, you didn’t read it. He is right, you borrowed several of his books. He had Capitol books, and the little school library in the district has four or five books. You had to.

«One kiss, one page?» He suggests, but your hands are already on his chest.

«One kiss, one line.» You debate.

«We will never finish the first chapter.» He laughs, but he kisses you anyway. You won.

«We have all night. Are you complaining?» You pat his arm, and he bites your neck. You should be more aware of marks now that you’ll live with your mother again.

«Never.»

The separation is not messy because he is not here when you wake up. There’s a note instead.

See you later, gorgeous. Take care of yourself, and visit when I’ll be better. Not before. Trust me, I’ll miss you.

H

Of course, he avoids the big goodbye. Maybe it’s better this way, you would have said something bad about the District.

«Can I get up?» You ask your nurse when she comes, and she caresses your cheek. You want to say to her you are not a kid, but it’s actually cute. 

«You’ll take medication. Your body will be in shape in two or three days, ok?» 

«Three days?» You whisper in disbelief. In Twelve everything was a big deal, you had a tiny hospital but it wasn’t so good and nurses here and there, like Katniss’s mother, who did what they had to do. Holly took care of pregnancies, for example. You didn’t want to be sick in Twelve.

«A lot of Capitol doctors are rebels, so now we have their medicine.» She explains. You nod, thinking how the hell doctors could know about the revolution.

There are a lot of things you have to catch up on. 

«Thank you for saving me.» You add, and you know she didn’t do anything but it’s her home, and as much as you don’t like they still saved you. «I’m Daisy.»

«My name is Inez.» She greets you. There is something weird in her tone, though. Something like an accent. Yours.

«You… you have my accent?» You are surprised you see that, but after two weeks in the Capitol and one in the Games you are not used to your accent anymore.

«I used to live in District 12 when I was a kid.» She explains, a sweet smile on her face. She looks like your mother’s age, maybe they know each other.

«What happened then?»

«I became an orphan, I was in the system, I was in danger and… it was another time, another life.» She strokes your hair. «I’ve seen you in the Games.» She murmurs while she takes care of your medication. If she wants to change the subject you are fine with it. «How you saved the girl from Eleven and the girl from Four.»

«I also killed the boy from my district.» You have to add. She was in an orphanage? That’s the life Holly spared you. 

«Wasn’t he going to kill you first?» She finishes it. «Do you really want to become a teacher?»

You are not sure anymore, if you have to be honest. You like kids and the prospect felt good in Twelve, but now you found out new labels of yourself. You like clothes, you like creating outfits, but in District Twelve it’s not really useful. 

«I think so, yeah. I mean a week ago I thought I was going to be dead so I didn’t think much about my career, but since I’m not, yeah.»

«We have a lot of District 12 kids and we are actually looking for a substitute teacher. Would you be interested in that?» Well, it’s a way to settle down for the moment. You are not a tribute anymore, you obviously are not a maid anymore, you might as well be what you wanted to be for twelve years.

«Yeah, I would like that.» 

She seems satisfied with the answer.

«So I’m sorry if I overstepped but… it is real?» Oh, the question. Everybody has The Question. Was it real? Was it for the cameras? Are you in love with a victor who won when you weren’t even born yet?

«Very real.» You confirm. She looks a little worried. That’s the prelude for your mother’s reaction.

«Isn’t he a little old for you? You are, what, twenty?» 

«Twenty four. And no, he is not a little old for me.» You sound cranky now and you get that it’s not good manners, but that’s not that nurse’s business.

She gets it, luckily. «He seems like a good man.»

«He is the best.»

She ties your hair in a ponytail and she caresses your face. «Are you ready to get up?»

Turns out you weren’t so ready to get up, because you have to sit down after five minutes. You don’t have any resistance and you just want to rest. 

The bright side is that you get to see District 13 and it sucks. There’s no silver lining for that, it’s horrendous. You are grateful you don’t have to fight to the death, but the place scares you. Everything is grey, there are a lot, a lot of tunnels and all the rooms are the same. You will get lost, you already know that.

Inez is near to you until you go to a room that looks like a cafeteria, and then she is gone again and you are alone.

For a moment.

«Daisy!» You’d recognize that voice everywhere.

«Mommy!» She hugs you tight, a little too tight given that you have broken ribs. You shouldn’t call her “mommy”, you are an adult, and truth to be told you almost never call her mom, but you really thought you’d never see her again.

«You are safe. You came back to me.» She strokes your raven hair, like you are a baby, and she refuses to let you go until you have to sit. 

She looks twenty years older. You are not going to tell her, but she has a lot of wrinkles on her skin and white hair in her locks.

«I thought I’d lost you.» She repeats, and now she is crying.

«You didn’t.» You are vaguely aware you are making a scene, and you don’t want Perla or Lora to see you. They don’t have their mom here. You didn’t even see Chaff, you don’t know if he is here or captured in the Capitol. «I’m here.»

«When you were in the games, I- I didn’t want to watch it but I wanted to see you, and…»

«I think I nailed it, didn’t I?» You try to take a lighter note, but she seems upset.

«The poor Undersee boy.»

The poor Undersee boy wanted to end your daughter’s life, but before you could say something like that to her you are hugged again, and this time you scream too.

«Effie!» You are beyond happy to see her. She was your light in the Capitol and you can be her light here, in a place that you know better. 

«My darling girl!» She winks at you and you hug her again, you want to keep her close. 

She is so different. She doesn’t have her signature wig, but she covers her hair with a foulard. Grey, of course. And she doesn’t have any makeup on. «Your wig…»

«I am a political refugee, darling. Can’t ask for much.» That is deeply wrong. She helped you get out of the games alive, she saved you as much as Haymitch did, and now they repay them with a violent rehab and insufferable rules. 

«You are still beautiful, it’s not something they can take away from you.» You try to reassure her, and it’s the truth. Even in a grey jumpsuit that is made to look bad she shines. 

«Well, let’s say we are here and safe. And you are my roommate.» 

You almost jump before you remember you can’t because you are bandaged. Inez would kill you. «That is fabulous! If we have any ashes I think we can make black eyeshadow.» 

«You genius girl, I missed you so much.»

Holly is there, looking a little confused. Well, she doesn’t know how much you became close to Effie Trinket during your time in the penthouse, but she will understand. Effie is a good person, people in District 12 need to understand that.

«Mom, can I lie down now? I’m a little tired.» You still call her mom, because you missed her. You missed her hug, and you desperately needed her when President Snow decided you were a target. 

You called her in your sleep when you killed a man, and it’s not her fault she didn’t hear you. 

Still, Effie was there. 

«Of course honey, can you handle going into your room alone?» You don’t think so, without Capitol medication you wouldn’t have been able to walk at all, but you don’t want to look spoiled or weak so you are about to say yes, when Effie snorts in a way that is somehow still ladylike.

«Nonsense, we can ask someone to carry her.»

«If she says she can, why bother someone?» Your mother argues. 

«Because she’s turning blue.»

«Actually,» You interrupt them. «I don’t think I can do it alone.» You don’t want to portrait Holly like the villain, but it’s true you are turning blue from the effort. 

With a satisfied glance Effie manages to ask a boy from District 13 to accompany you, but before you get to be in your bed, your mother stops you.

«Can we talk later?» She is worried, and a little angry maybe. You don’t want to deal with it right now. You know what she wants to say. You killed an innocent guy, you fraternised with the enemy, Effie Trinket is vain and shallow, and you admitted on national television you had sex with a guy who shared my class in first grade.  

«Later.» You promise.

When she goes away it’s Effie who caresses your hair. Your room is the same as all the other rooms, narrow, poky and grey, two beds with white blank sheets and a little tiny toilet with a door - thank all the gods.

«I don’t feel safe here.» You whisper, and she just nods. «Can you stay with me?»

You and her are both stuck with you, you remember Haymitch’s words. Your loyalty is with them, and Katniss, and Peeta and your friends. And your mom, of course. You have to remember that.

She kisses you on the cheek and tugs your bed before sitting on your sheets.

«Always, darling girl.» 

[mintytealfox]

So we have Survivor Nort Decucts... And now we have Hunter Nort deducts... Put them together and what do we get?

You get a hella tragic story oh my GOSHHHH 😭😭😭😭

The set up will be: 1-Surv!Norton 1-Hunt!Norton -Then my thoughts 😏

1-Kindness: Is that an Olive Branch you just threw or... (A Good Deed: Norton, a Miner, Always visited the hospice and cared for all of the homeless old miners) 1-Shrewd 'Each step requires long-term planning' (Shrewd: An old, folded letter: Yellow and brittle. It was once abandoned in a dust corner. Signed, Benny.) -This is interesting 👀 These are both the first which automatically makes me think they are connected. I wonder if the Olive Branch thrown is from Benny? Or if its from Norton with the helping out with the people around Benny? Either way Benny ends up sending a letter to Norton. Maybe it saying something like 'want to meet up? I have stuff that might interest you' or something. Which adds to my -squinting- at Benny. Sounds like Norton was alone even though Benny was around all that time? hmmm

2-Diligence: The more effort, the more rewards? (Work Record: Norton Campbell is always the first to go down into the mines and the last to leave it.) 2-Lonely: 'The loneliness of separation must be endured on the climb up' (A coin: Stained by ash, footprints, tears, and dirt from the slums.) -Brings up the whole 'he had nobody' not even Benny vibe again -squints- Where was Benny during all of this? Seems like Norton would work and work and work so he couldn't feel or notice how alone he is. Like work was his only constant and 'friend' to keep himself from going nutty, but in the hours where work couldn't be used as a distraction he was miserable 😿Crying as he clings to what little he has...my gosh. That coin was so important to him man, I wonder if it was the last thing he got from his dad or something, cause he takes it everywhere and it pops up all the time in the trailer orz which means he never spent it just held onto it enough where you see TEAR STAINS ON IT! I CANNOT-- 😭😭😭😭

3-Efficiency: We need more trials. (A stack of Recommendation Letters: It can be seen that every one of Norton's previous employers appreciated his hard work and expressed their regret at being unable to keep him for long.) 3-Sophisticated 'wear a mask for the sake of survival' (A note on the back: What a detestable Person! Wagging his tail like a dog in front of the overseer!) -This one I can’t quite grasp yet -squints- is this referring to the back of the letter from Benny? Why write that there? Is Benny talking smack about Norton being so good at wearing a mask and pleasing the employers? Or is Norton talking smack about himself? Or is Norton pissed about others doing what he is doing? Wearing a mask to just survive or what the heck? 🤣 This one is still baffling me fr fr Oh wait a min....Seems like he had to jump job from job cause employers kept needing to fire workers, unable to keep him on as an employee. Likely becoming more jaded that him working hard and being good isn't working much for him since he keeps getting let go. Then seeing some fresh faced bushy tailed worker beside him would likely piss him off lol 'Why are you acting like that we are all getting fired anyways' Yea I super don't know with this one, I am juggling so many possibilities for this one.

4-Persistence: People won't be unlucky forever, right? (1-Page Note: There are 13 items listed. The first 12 appear to be names of places, and the last one is crossed out.) 4-Willful 'Those who persist will encounter more opportunities' (A page from a diary: I found that old man's notes. Now, it belongs to the one who lives long.) -He doesn’t sound all that fond of Benny pff like there is a hint of a dig there and/or him trying to convince himself that he is going to break out of here and live. Did he decide to set a plan in motion after getting the letter from Benny? Or was it after meeting with Benny?

5-Patience: Next time... (Diary: Tomorrow, I will go to the last place recorded by the old man. If there's still nothing, then I hope he...) 5-Gloomy 'The other side of Kindness and affability' (Abandoned junk: A tattered quilt, a chisel, an unsent letter, and a small piece of wrapped and hardened white bread) -This one I don't see much of a connection other than reference to old man and then there is that QUILT that could have possibly been the one Benny had made for Norton when the Dad was still alive. 'Then I hope he...' sounds hella ominous now lol -squints- Then Is this stuff found with Benny or was it found where Norton abandoned everything? Did Norton not send a letter? Maybe he meant to go back to get his things but never got to cause of the damage the explosion deed had on his mind ah. This one also gives me more questions than answers lol

6-Courage: The more dangers, the more opportunities. (A Geological Report: Part of the tunnel had been blocked by an unidentified object. One small mistake could cause the inner structure of the mine to collapse.) 6-Greedy 'Merely retaking what the heavens owe' (A map: Several crossed-out mines and a red circle.) -I am thinking Greedy and Gloomy should switch here cause Greedy goes well with the Patience with reference to 'go to the last place recorded' BUT what the frig is that 'unidentified object' -squints- Did Norton set that up?? Was that in the red circled mine? Was the place just found like that and Norton was like -cough cough- "whatever nothing is stopping me". Is this all just setting up how Norton was willing to go anywhere to find what he is looking for? hmmmm Willing to go where no man has gone before. Smash Greed and Courage together and ya thats what you get lol A desperate dude that has nothing to loose and only to gain if this all goes right. aahh

7-Alert: You need to be more cautious. (News: Due to the use of gunpowder and detonators, the era of simple rock drilling is coming to an end. 7-Arrogant 'Only by being bolder can you challenge destiny' (Torn paper: Record the blasting's depth, distance between holes… and the amount of explosives used.) -He uhhhhh, yea he definitely ends up using explosives lol. And its interesting that he made sure that everything was measured and counted in every way. Bro knew what he was doing 1000%. He had it all down to the second, the inch! He was careful alright, careful to make sure this goes perfect AH

8-Share: You need more helpers. (Mining Precautions: Theft of explosives is illegal and will be reported to the police once discovered.) 8-Hypocrite 'Important moments must be witnessed by companions' (A memo: Two bottles of the cheapest whine for those drunkards to wet their throats. And toss some fatty meat to the guard dog.) -BRO STOLE THE HELL OUTTA THEM EXPLOSIVES LOOOOOOOL AND HE DID IT IN THE MOST CLICHE WAY EVER AND IT WORKED IIMMMMM--LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL Like How many laws did he end up breaking by the end of all this?? LIKE GEEZZ And people are so used to him being kind and caring, none were the wiser! This Duddddeeeee!! He played the LONG GAME GOLLY

9-Wisdom: Smart people know when to hold on and when to let go. (An Accident Report: An explosion collapsed a mine on the outskirts of the city. It's suspected that the miners had mishandled the explosives, and the police expressed that there's little chance for anyone to survive) 9-Ruthless 'Exploding from deep within like an ignited explosive' (A page from a diary: Those journalists and policemen are gone. So it's just that simple?) -Bro played everything! The people, the system, the science, the math?? LIKE DUDE! If it was an accident, he wouldn't have survived. Norton had this planned to the T! Every 'i' was dotted and ever 't' was crossed, he knew he was surviving that explosion if everything went perfect like he was planning for OH MY GOSH. Bro playing chess while everyone else was LEARNING CHECKERS

10-Luck: That's only because the rest are just unlucky. (1-Page Case: Moderate burns to the face. Suspected to have been caused by direct exposure to excessive temperatures) 10-Numb 'Forget them and stay away from the dark underground' (A magnet: "Maybe it can keep me away from misfortune and darkness.") -He really didn't get much out of this did he. Like, all he got was trauma, burnt up, and a magnet. And boi is he clinging to that magnet with is all. His new coin; his new thing to cling to orz He really lies to himself a lot 😿He keeps finding out far too late that what he thought would change everything just made everything worse 🙃like yes everything changed, but changed for the worst. That tunnel vision hitting him so hard he never stops to go 'huh, this is a horrible idea, how would this possibly change my fate??' Its like he is trying so hard to convince himself that it was all worth it cause he got this crazy magnet orz gooooossshhhhhhhhhhhh Instead of using this as a wake up call it seems he is pressing on that sigma grind. Nothing like a plague doctor bird man monster to set things right LOOOOL

[thefreakydeaky]

After the Thrill is Gone

Part Eight

Daryl Dixon x Reader

Negan Smith x Reader

Modern AU

Summary: From the first moment you laid eyes on Negan you were inexplicabley drawn to him. The passion between you is hot and only grows more intense the longer you see each other. There is only one problem, you're both married to other people.

Warnings: Dark Fic , Stalking, Stalker behavior, Smuttyness, Adult Language, I'll add more warnings as I post, so please check the warnings for updates on each chapter.

You parked your suv outside of your mother's house and turned to Hunter and Millie.

"Everybody remember the rules?"

"Don't touch anything." Hunter replied. "And don't go to other rooms."

"No playing rough and no running around." You reminded him.

He nodded.

Once you got Millie out of the car seat, you walked up the lawn to the front door and rang the doorbell.

You stood there for a few minutes and when no one came, you pressed the button again. Another few minutes passed and finally you heard the door being opened.

"Hello Sweetheart." Your mom greeted you, pulling you toward her to hug you.

"I see you brought Camilla with you."

"Of course, I did. Why wouldn't I?"

"I thought your mother in law babysat for you?"

You fought the urge to roll your eyes.

"Ma doesn't watch Millie all the time only if I really really can't find anyone else to watch her."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"She's in her late seventies. She can't be chasing after a little kid."

"Neither can I and yet I babysit for you regularly."

"First of all, you're only in your sixties. Secondly you won't have to chase her. I'm here. She will be fine, Mom."

She gestured for you to go passed her into the house and you did. The large foyer was redecorated in a classic italian style, earth tones, marble, and metal work. You waited for your son to catch up to you before you headed into the formal living room.

"Would you like something to drink? Iced tea, Lemonade?" She offered.

You declined, but Hunter asked for lemonade.

"I don't know if I have any plastic cups. Let me see." She left the room.

You could see Wyatt in the dining room doing homework. You went up to him and touched his shoulder.

"Hey Pumpkin, You okay?"

He nodded.

"We're gonna leave soon, so start getting your things together."

"Kay." He replied.

Your phone rang. Adjusting Millie on your hip, you picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Doll."

You sighed and hurried back to the living room.

"What do you want? I'm busy."

"Hey now, I just wanted to check in. You didn't pick the kid up from practice today."

"You're right. I didn't and I won't be."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because you can't seem to get it through your fucking head that I don't want anything more to do with you!" You snapped.

He laughed.

"It's not funny. I mean it. Stay the fuck away from me." You stated.

"Oh it is funny. It's funny how you keep forgetting that I have the power to ruin your life."

Your finger slid toward the end call button.

"If you insist on not co operating, I'm going to explode your whole fucking world."

You gasped sharply.

"I want to know if the girl is mine. You are going to fucking meet me at the San Jose Clinic on Donovan road at eleven tomorrow or I'm going to show up at your house and ruin your six o'clock dinner time."

You squeezed the phone tightly in your fist.

"Are you done?"

"Don't take this lightly. I am a man of my word."

"I heard you. Can I hang up now?"

"Just one more thing," He added, "You look foxy today. Those leggings hug your body just right and that top...Mmm mmm mm..."

Your cheeks warmed.

"I see you. Even when you think nobody's looking."

You clenched your jaw. Your mom came back into the room and you relaxed your facial expression.

"Thank you for reminding me of my appointment. I'll be there. Good Bye." You forced yourself to say and hung up.

"Who was that, Sweetheart?" Your mom asked.

You put a small smile on your face.

"Just the doctor's office." You lied.

"How civil of you to talk to them. I just hang up.I know when my appointment is. I'm not senile."

You nodded in aknowledgement.

•••••••••••••••••••••

He sat in his truck watching the large two story house. It didn't matter what you said. You were his. It was simply the truth. There was no going back to your old life. He couldn't believe you hadn't realized that yet.Before long, you were coming down the lawn, your ducklings trailing behind you. He watched you all get into the suv. He waited for you drive off down the road for a second before he followed behind you. Just far enough behind to avoid suspicion.

[boyrobott]

everybody's got a little glory

"I don't know how to play poker," Astro says.

Read on AO3.

"I don't know how to play poker," Astro says.

Everyone else turns their heads to look at him and he realizes, with the sudden burn of a flush in his cheeks, that he probably should have spoken up about this before they settled in their usual seats around the rickety kitchen table, and Hamegg dealt out the cards. Actually, now that he thinks about it, he probably should just go ahead and excuse himself from the game right off the bat, since he honestly doesn't know how to play, but he's not totally sure he can do that and not come off as rude to everyone else — and he doesn't want to miss out on an opportunity to spend more time with his new friends, anyway.

"I'll just sit out and watch for the first round!" he adds, quickly, before they feel like they have to pause everything just to explain the rules to him, or something. They've been so wonderful to him over the past few days, welcoming him right into their family and their home like he belongs here just as much as they do, and he doesn't want to be even more of an inconvenience than he knows he must be already. "If I watch what you guys do, I can figure out how to play from there. And then I'll join in the next game."

There's a second of silence, and then Hamegg chuckles. "Aw, jeez, kid, there's no need for all that. Why don't you and I just play as a team for the first couple of rounds 'til you find your legs? I'll explain everything as we go, don't worry."

"R-Really?" Astro reflexively sits up a little straighter in his chair at the offer, a tentative smile taking over his face even as he tries to suppress it. He really wouldn't mind if he has to sit out a game or two, honestly, and he's sure he can pick up on the basics through observation, but the way Hamegg says why don't you and I just play as a team and I'll explain everything as we go—

It reminds him of something a father would do with his son.

Astro pushes the thought away before it can settle too deep in his brain, and leaves his chair in favor of the one right next to Hamegg at the head of the table — Sam happily swaps seats with him for the low cost of another one of his pizza slices at dinner tomorrow night. As soon as everyone else has turned their attention back to their cards, shuffling them around in their hands and fanning them out to get a good look at them, Astro leans in close, dropping his voice to a low murmur, and says, "Thank you, Hamegg. This is really nice of you."

"Nah, don't sweat it," Hamegg waves him off with a flick of his hand. "You're part of the family, son. And family helps each other out."

Astro can't swallow around the sudden lump in his throat.

"All right, let's get started," Hamegg breezes on, throwing an arm casually around Astro's shoulders and holding his cards out in front of them, so they can both easily see the hand. He lets out a low whistle of apparent approval. "Now, how about that, kiddo? See, you're giving me good luck already."

Astro blinks blankly at the jumble of clubs, hearts, and diamonds staring back at him — and he knows there's really no such thing as luck, good or bad, and Hamegg is just making it up to be nice, but a warm, golden spark of shining happiness flickers to life in his chest, anyway. "I-I am?"

"Heck, yeah, you are. Look at this, we've got—" Hamegg pauses, right there in the middle, to throw a playfully suspicious glance at the others, and then pointedly drops his voice down to a dramatic whisper, so silly and exaggerated that Astro laughs, "—three kings right here, and an ace high! And we haven't even gotten to the trade-off yet."

"…I have no idea what any of that means," Astro whispers back, after a long, silent minute of trying to figure it out, with absolutely no success. He slowly lets himself sink into the warmth of Hamegg's side, smiling wide as he looks around the table at all of his new friends — his family. They're his family. Hamegg said he was part of the family. Hamegg called him son. "But it sounds good to me."

[eventinelysplayground]

Have You Always.

It's Vincent's birthday today so happy birthday to the sweet angel artist! Even though I haven't played his route yet I still wanted to write something for today so this is going off his event stories and his appearances in other routes and I apologize if he seems out of character. You asked Vincent what he wanted for his birthday and it leads to an agreement about your future. CW: contains mention of non descriptive nudity and mildly suggestive. WC approx 950.

This is definitely not what you had expected. You had been in the kitchen a few days ago putting away the dishes when Vincent came in and you asked him an innocent enough question.

"Is there anything specific you'd like for your birthday this year?"

"Oh! Well, I'd love it if you would model for me."

"Really? I mean I've modeled for you before but if that's what you really want."

You shrugged your shoulders continuing your task when you felt Vincent's arms wrap around your waist and his head rest on your shoulder.

"I know but... I want to do a nude portrait of you this time."

His voice had a husky edge to it and his warm breath glided over your skin causing you to almost drop the stack of plates you were holding.

"Please."

You slowly nodded in agreement. How could you ever say no to him, or deny him anything when you loved him that much.

You sit beside the huge window in Vincent's room, the afternoon sun casting a warm glow over your skin. As Vincent had requested you wore nothing, well not entirely nothing.

"What's this?"

"Just something I thought would make you happy."

"Vincent it's your birthday tomorrow, you're supposed to be the one getting the gifts!"

" But I am getting a gift, now open it."

Opening the box you found a pair of dangling sunflower earrings and you couldn't help but smile.

"Let me help you put them on."

Vincent took the earrings out of the box and gently placed them on your ears letting his fingers trail down the side of your neck.

"Will you wear them for me tomorrow while I paint you?"

Your face was flush and your skin felt like it was on fire.

"Of course."

You don't know exactly how he had managed it but Vincent had gotten all the other residents out of the mansion for a few hours. Though if you had to guess it was probably because you weren't the only one who found it hard to say no to Vincent.

“Is that position ok? If it's not, we can try something else.”

“No, I'm fine. Just a bit self conscious I guess.”

“Why when you're always so beautiful?”

You're certain you're blushing from head to toe now and secretly wonder if Vincent is going to add it into the painting or not. The afternoon goes by surprisingly quickly in a comfortable silence as Vincent is so immersed in his craft. Your thoughts begin to wander though and a sudden question comes to mind, and you spend a few minutes wondering if you should ask, considering how the last big question you asked ended up.

“Vincent?”

“Hmm, oh sorry I'm almost finished but if you need a break or you feel uncomfortable we can-”

“No I'm fine, I have a question though.”

“Oh okay what is it?”

“Why did you want this as your present? I mean we spend most nights together anyways so it doesn't seem like much of a gift.”

“So that I can always have you with me.”

Vincent's words were soft and his always sunny smile took on an edge of wistfulness.

“I don't understand, I’ll always be with you.”

Vincent stopped painting, turning to stare out the window as he rested his palette on his knee.

“You say that but… ever since we got engaged I've been thinking more about how our lifespans are so different.”

“Oh, I see.”

“I know we haven't talked about it before but I find myself thinking about years from now when that time would come and, and I don't really want to lose you. So since I can't ask you to become a vampire for me I thought that maybe if I had a special portrait of you it would help.”

You were shocked, not because of what Vincent was thinking but what he said.

“Why couldn't you ask me?”

Vincent's head snapped from the window to look at you.

“Like you said we've never really talked about it but I've thought about that too.”

“So then, does that mean you would be willing to…”

Despite his best efforts you could hear the excitement building in Vincent's voice.

“I'd want to ask Comte a few questions about it before it happened but, yes I would be. I want to be with you for as long as I can be.”

Now it was Vincent's turn to blush and you smiled at him as he went back to painting. Just as the light started to fade Vincent put down his brush and grinned at you.

“It's finished, do you want to come see it?”

“Of course!”

You walk over to stand beside Vincent and he wraps an arm around your waist. The painting is beautiful, you look radiant and your skin seems to glow while your eyes and the earrings he gave you sparkle.

“It’s beautiful!”

You place a tender kiss to Vincent's cheek.

“Happy Birthday Vincent!”

“Thank you my schatje.”

“I'll have to think of another birthday present for you though since we sort of talked things out.”

“No… but if you really wanted to.”

Vincent's arm leaves your waist and he pulls you into his lap.

“Can I bite you, please?”

“Yes, and I've told you before you don't need to ask me every time.”

“I know but I never want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You never could, I promise.”

Vincent's warm lips trail a line of kisses down your neck before he settles in the crook of it and sinks his fangs deep into your soft flesh. Your skin heats up and before long you moan out in pleasure and excitement at what will follow after.

[crispysnake]

Hi This is really just for @ravendruid cause they're the only one who has the full context so HERE U GO FREN AND IM SORRY IN ADVANCED Anyhoo this takes place in me modern au, while Keyleth and Percy are in uni! (I also apologize in advance if a lot of this does not make sense I am v sick rn and running on 3 doeses of dayquil and chocolate chip banana pancakes)

Everything feels beyond hazy but Percy still manages to gather enough focus to rub his hand up and down Keyleths back as she heaves into the toilet bowl. They had the same amount of shots, which really wasn't that many despite them celebrating her getting an incredible review on her research paper, he found it really doesn't take that much for her to get drunk.

Percy's mind feels far away as he stands and stumbles to the sink, filling a glass of water for Keyleth while leaning onto the counter, It was amusing at first, when she gets tipsy she gets giggly, hanging off of his shoulders and telling him about how silly short-eared owls look when they're running around, way too loudly might he add. Then she gets rather existential, going on about how everyone is just a prisoner of their own anxieties or something, he kind of tuned out, but it got hard to ignore when she got sad drunk. it still feels hard to ignore.

"I just- I mean come on Percy, my own m-mom didn't- didn't love me enough to come back... I don't know how-.. how could anyone else?"

She claimed it so nonchalantly. It feels like something he was never meant to hear, and yet he doesn't think he will ever be able to forget it.

He thinks about his family, how unconditionally his parents supported him and how Ludwig never seemed to stray far from his room, always interested in whatever he was creating, or how Cassandra clung to him in their scariest moments, entrusting him with her life. Since then, he felt as if he would never get that trust or tolerance, or love, ever again, of course until he met Keyleth.

Percy heard the shifting of Keyleth backing away from the toilet and he took a breath before sitting down cross-legged in front of her, nudging the glass against her hand until she finally took it. He watched her take a single sip before leaning and leaning, falling to her side onto the bathmat with a groan. "Nope," he said shortly, Keyleths head spins as he grabs both of her shoulders to pull her back up to a sitting position "You will hate me tomorrow morning if I let you fall asleep on the floor. It's disgusting." he brushed off one of her shoulders and tucked her hair behind her ears, pushing the glass back up to her face "No 's not it's comfy" She could only slur in return, making him smile a little. She bickers like his sisters did.

Percy ensured she drinks at least half the glass before letting her lean back to rest against the edge of the bathtub, and shifting to sit beside her, feeling her instinctively press into his side. He can still faintly recall how quickly she became physically affectionate to him or perhaps just affectionate in general. How it merely took one or two instances of Keyleth spotting him staying absurdly late at the library, (just as often as she did) before she brought him homebrewed tea and asked if it would be alright to sit and study with him.

Had Percy been a bit irritated at first? yes, a little, was it also the first ounce of kindness anyone had shown him in a while? also yes. Was it annoyingly hard not to find comfort in her presence or adore Keyleth as a person? yes. sometimes it still gets to him, how she noticed him there. But was she aware of that? no. and now he's definitely sobered up enough to know that he cannot stop thinking about it.

".. how could anyone else?" Percy truly does feel he will never be able to forget it.

"Keyleth?" He calls hesitantly, turning his head enough to glance down at her. She hums in acknowledgement and with the same amount of coordination as a fawn, attempts to pull herself up to look at him.

"Did you mean what you said earlier? about feeling.." he whispers now, his brain still feeling a little too buzzed to rethink this "Unloved?". Percy watches Keyleth sit up fully and stare at him, he watches the gears turn in her head as she processes, slightly sobering at his words. "Uhm.." Keyleth pulls her knees up to her chest almost defensively and curls around them, unsure what to say or do, tempted to pretend like she forgot about what she said entirely. Of course, she hasn't forgotten, and she never will. "I'm not sure" she whispers in reply.

They both know this isn't entirely a lie, Percy has known Keyleth long enough to know about what happened to Vilya, to know her extremely complicated thoughts on the matter, how it felt trying to grow up after a situation like that, and something else they both thoroughly understand is that she is not great at discussing her feelings openly. Opposites as they are, it is a habit they have in common.

He thinks about his siblings again, and how many excuses and lies he told to get out of family dinners. It keeps him up at night that he cannot recall the last time he said goodnight to Vesper. He thinks about how he never truly realized that when he thinks of his sisters, Keyleth always seems to fall in line with them. And he never wants her to feel as uncared for as he ever might have made them feel.

She's avoiding his eyes now, feeling an empty pit starting to form in the middle of her chest, staring at the tiles and hiding the lower half of her face between her knees. "Well," Percy started softly, reaching out to take her hand, "You are... Keyleth you are my best friend, and I love you".

She simply stares at him again, as if she's searching his face for any traces of deception or dishonesty, and she finds none. Keyleth feels tears prickle her eyes and her throat thickens, she pulls him forward by the hand and wraps her arms around his middle.

"I love you too" Percy could feel Keyleth mumble against his shoulder and he hugs her back equally as hard. As they sit on the floor of their small, dingy bathroom, holding each other tightly, for once Percy doesn't feel guilty at the thought of her as family, because a part of him knows that he needed to say it, just as much as she needed to hear it.

[jazzafterhours]

hawke is an honourable man, but the company he keeps is questionable. two apostates, one of which is a blood mage, and another that is an abomination. shady characters who likely deal in illicit, selfish affairs. guard-captain aveline has sebastian's respect, but even fenris is too accepting of the mages in their midst, despite knowing exactly how dangerous they are.

this is not the crowd sebastian expected to find himself fighting alongside when he offered to travel with hawke whenever the man had need of him. sebastian doesn't intend to go back on his word. he only wishes hawke were more selective with who he calls a friend.

the blood mage is among the worst. she is deceptive with her bright eyes and gentle smiles, with her unassuming stance and sweet words. she plays at being a pure being.

sebastian knows better. he has fought beside her at hawke's behest, seeing the dark power she wields in battle. abomination or not, she is something of a demon herself, luring them into a false sense of security so they might forget how monstrous she is beneath. she doesn't even try to hide her magic, she insists on advocating for its usefulness.

and she seems to have the others all wrapped around her finger.

isabela flirts with many, but with merrill, there is something undeniably tangible and charged. she claws her fingers and makes a noise like a wildcat, and merrill giggles, bringing two fingers up to her lips in a fleeting vulgar gesture. it's like the two of them are speaking a secret language about the private things that pass between them.

and merrill will say, "you haven't taken a break in a while, varric," and varric will hum low, considering, before saying, "tomorrow night, then."

aveline does not appear to have a standing engagement with the blood mage, but she looks the other way when it comes to merrill's dark, magical practices, and she protects merrill fiercely in battle. she seems to hold her in a high regard that sebastian can't parse.

unsurprisingly, the apostates have colluded as well. merrill sidles up close to anders and touches his wrist under the hem of his fraying sleeve, and he blushes even from such a simple contact.

she is a temptress, akin to a demon of desire.

while on a trip with hawke, isabela, and the blood mage, the two women exchange another one of their little flirtations, and sebastian feels he must comment.

"i pray that the others can yet see you for the seductress you are and free themselves from your treacherous claws."

isabela snorts. merrill tips her head to the side in that innocent-seeming way she does.

"seductress?" she echoes with a lopsided smile. "are you looking for some seducing, sebastian?"

sebastian blanches. "what? of course-- no."

merrill's expression smooths back out. "oh. i thought you were playing a game. i'm still working on telling when someone is using innuendo."

"playing..." sebastian mutters. she thought he was coming onto her. of his own free volition! vehemently, he adds, "that is not the man i am anymore."

isabela cuts in. "yeah, that's why you're acting all hot and bothered and your cheeks look like they could start a fire."

up at the front of the group, hawke sighs. "i don't suppose i could get the three of you to care about the fact that we're about to walk into a mercenary ambush? is anyone keeping an eye out for traps?"

"well," isabela says, "if you mean the kind of trap that clamps down like a vice, nice and tight--"

then a squad of mercenaries charges them, and sebastian is saved from having to address the unexpected turn this conversation has taken.

*

he can't stop thinking about it. of the promise she makes, of the heat in isabela's gaze and the blush on anders' face and varric's easy compliance. she has earned this from all of them, she has--

sebastian takes a knee in front of andraste's statue in the chantry and forces his mind to clear, to focus on his prayers.

this isn't the life he chose for himself, it isn't what he wanted at the time, but at the time, he hadn't known what he really wanted. he hadn't known what he needed. he'd thought of nothing but himself, of wasteful activities that served no greater good. being sent to the chantry, although not his choice initially, has turned his life around. he has been given a second chance to bathe in the maker's light.

no beautiful, trickster blood mage will draw him into the darkness.

*

merrill never assumes wrong again. she never says anything untoward, at least not to sebastian. she is respectful, sebastian supposes. or maybe she recognizes that she cannot manipulate him, and simply doesn't waste the effort.

sebastian doesn't always join the others for card night at the hanged man. these nights are always full of drinking and gambling, and often crude jokes. this isn't the atmosphere that's good for sebastian anymore. he doesn't wish to be tempted.

tonight, he goes. he is the only one at the table without a tankard of ale, and he has little coin to bet, so the others accept him as a non-gambling participant.

merrill is across from him at the table, and she smiles at him, but in her usual gentle way instead of that crooked, coy thing from that day when things got out of hand.

sebastian still can't stop thinking about it, no matter how much he tries.

it has been years now since he enjoyed the company of another. the vow of chastity had chafed, at first. he's grown to understand what it means to live a life without distraction and personal pleasure, but at first--

he'd been angry. shamed. humiliated. despairing for the future he never got to have, as the chantry became a cage so soon into his adulthood. he wonders, is it so wrong to--

something nudges against his shin. sebastian looks up and sees merrill watching him with her big, worried eyes, having found his leg with her foot beneath the table. her expression seems to ask if he's okay.

sebastian isn't sure that he is.

whatever merrill sees in his face, it makes her fold her hand of cards together and set them down on the table.

"it's been a long day," she says when the others glance her way in question. "i could use an early night."

then she smiles at sebastian again, wide and inviting.

she stands to a chorus of goodbyes from their friends, still looking sebastian's way while she pushes her chair back in at the table.

when she goes, sebastian waits only a handful of minutes before following her lead, claiming he needs to be back for a late service at the chantry. varric looks at him with a pointed gaze that seems to say he sees through the lie, and if he's planning any harm to merrill, he will pay for it.

not tonight, sebastian thinks.

he goes, and instead of ascending the great steps towards hightown, he turns down the streets to the alienage.

merrill is standing in front of the vhenadahl, her hands clasped together at the small of her back as she lifts her face to regard the old, sacred branches of her people's tree. she appears small in front of the wide trunk, but sebastian knows better than to ever consider her harmless.

when sebastian approaches, she steps back from the tree and gestures at him to follow. obediently, he does. he is unsure how to feel about that, but it doesn't stop him from entering her house and letting her shut the door behind them, cutting them off from the rest of the world.

"you can leave any time you like," merrill says as if she's reading his thoughts.

sebastian questions whether such a thing is possible with blood magic, but he doesn't think so. merrill is, perhaps, just good at knowing what others need.

"you took a vow, didn't you?" she asks.

it should be an accusation, but she doesn't say it like one. yes, he took a vow, and here he is planning to break it, to give in, and to her, of all people, a blood mage who sleeps around like there's nothing wrong with it, like she cares for nothing except--

"sebastian?"

"i--" he says. "i shouldn't be here."

"why not?"

because this is wrong. because it will make him an oathbreaker. because the chantry desires him chaste and focused. right now, those don't seem like very compelling reasons, and he's not sure why. they suddenly feel empty, flimsy.

"i don't know."

merrill purses her lips, regarding him. it's a minute before she speaks again. "if you want to stop, you tell me so, okay? say 'stop', at any point, and we stop."

sebastian has heard such things before. watchwords and negotiations and boundaries laid out on the table. he'd mostly only bothered when his partner wanted to do so. other times, he didn't care what his partner did with him, as long as he felt something good in the end. he'd assumed merrill to be similar--wicked and wild, hungry and insatiable. he misjudged her in at least a couple of ways.

"okay," he says, because she's pointedly waiting for him to reply.

"good." she smiles at him. "how about you start by taking off your armour?"

she words it like a suggestion, but there's an edge in her voice that sounds almost like a command. it is whatever sebastian wants to make of it.

he takes it as an order, and reaches for the straps of his bracer. while he works them loose and slips the white and gold metal off, merrill takes a seat in one of her rickety chairs, a respectful distance away, nowhere near close enough to touch. she merely observes, a soft smile on her face and a spark of interest in her eyes.

his bow and quiver next, then the pauldron. they join the bracer on merrill's area rug. sebastian tugs his gloves off, dropping them among the growing pile. he hesitates, swallowing a lump in his throat, before working off the chestpiece and the chain mail beneath it.

as he unbuckles his belt, he can't help but ask, "will you be disrobing anytime soon?"

her smile grows. "not soon, but i will. i want to focus on you for now."

sebastian blushes, unused to having such attention after years without. he forgot what it was like to have someone preoccupied with him and only him, liking the look of his body, eager to have more of it. eager to have him.

he stoops to lay his belt on the floor, then continues with his armour under merrill's watchful eye.

she finally stands when he's down to just his plain shirt and breeches, coming up in front of him. "may i?"

sebastian nods, then shivers when she slips her hands beneath his shirt and presses them to his bare chest, sliding up, taking the shirt with her as it gathers upon her wrists.

without a word, sebastian lifts his arms and lets her push the shirt up and off. she pauses again with her fingers at the strings of his breeches, but all it takes is a swift nod from him for her to untie them and push down, breeches and smallclothes together.

sebastian steps out of them when they pool on the floor, and then he's naked before merrill, a sharp contrast in their state of dress.

merrill spreads her fingers over his abdomen, feeling his muscles. she raises one hand to run it along his drawing arm, feeling those muscles as well. she looks up, meeting sebastian's eyes, then goes to the tips of her toes to kiss him.

in all his imaginings, sebastian never expected a kiss. her lips are warm and a little chapped, full and gentle. sebastian has not even had this during his years at the chantry, and a wave of need crashes over him, a dam broken down in one fell swoop. he circles his arm around her waist to pull her closer, tilting his head to kiss her deeper. she responds in kind, making a little pleased noise that stirs sebastian further.

being with another person like this is galvanizing, and he has missed it.

merrill pulls away far sooner than sebastian would like, but her smile is still kind and soothing, granting him patience.

"i would like to try something, if you're interested," she says.

equal parts apprehension and anticipation course through him. he hasn't forgotten who she is, what she's capable of, but she hasn't done a single thing to make him consider saying 'stop'.

"i might be interested," he says noncommittally, "what do you have in mind?"

merrill flits away with a bounce in her step, opening a chest to retrieve something from inside. a strip of forest green fabric. turning back to face sebastian with the cloth in her hands, she says, "i want to blindfold you."

apprehension grows to overtake anticipation, even as sebastian eyes the cloth, already considering it. not being able to see her, to see any touch before it happens, will leave him vulnerable. he hesitates to put himself in such a position around a blood mage, but right now, merrill isn't a blood mage. she's a person offering him a release he has been without for years, and has yet to take anything for herself. even this is not a demand, but an offer.

"very well," he says.

her smile broadens. "your hands will be free. you can push it off whenever you like, if you need to."

sebastian nods, that knot of apprehension slowly coming undone, quieting to a normal amount of nervousness for a first-time experience.

merrill walks around him, and already sebastian feels hyper-aware of exactly where she's standing, knowing that he will soon not be able to see her, only hear her. he can almost feel her proximity like a physical thing, the space between them carrying new energy like he has witnessed her with the others.

she rests a hand on his back, right in the middle between his shoulders, an oddly soothing touch. sebastian relaxes under it, and only then does she loop the cloth around his head to secure it across his eyes. the light leaves the room instantly, the heavy and dark fabric blocking it effectively.

the vow he recently made in the chantry floats back into his conscious mind: he would not let temptation pull him back into the darkness. now here he stands, allowing an apostate to pull the cloth over his eyes, plunging him into the void.

merrill's hand presses to his back again. "are you alright?"

sebastian sucks in a deep breath, swallowing down the tightness in his throat. he wants this, there's no denying it. he wishes he could just expel the voice in the back of his head for a little while.

a surprising amount of honesty makes its way into his response. "i am trying to be."

unexpectedly, lips press to his shoulder, warm and a little chapped. he jumps in surprise, but the shock is short-lived.

"i think your willingness to try is very admirable," she tells him, sounding just as honest. "thank you for telling me. i understand what this means for you."

sebastian's next exhale comes out stuttered, a wave of emotion crashing through him. she is so much more understanding than he thought--at most, he has always interpreted her demeanour to be a manipulation, but if that were the case, she's already sufficiently caught him in her web, and all she's doing is praising him. she's allowing him to process at his own pace, which isn't something sebastian thinks anyone else has ever done for him.

on unsteady but determined steps, sebastian turns, holding his hands out to find merrill and guide himself. he manages to find her hips, the warm fabric and leather of her armour beneath his palms. he ducks down, only a little, aware that he can't be exactly sure of where her face is, and he'd rather not embarrass himself with clumsiness.

she doesn't leave him unmoored. her hand cups the side of his neck, and she responds to his wordless plea for a kiss. it's a deep kiss, wet and hot and encompassing. she nips at his bottom lip, curls her tongue across the roof of his mouth, exploring him, and it leaves him shivering, growing hard between his legs.

when they part to catch their breath, he hears her take a step back, feels her hands sweep down his arms to his hands. sebastian lets her tug him across the room, unable to see where they're going.

she leads him far enough, with a bit of a turn, that he thinks they've left the main room. the wood panelling floor is rough on his soles, but her hands are soft, and she doesn't let him trip, doesn't let him stumble into anything.

they come to a stop, and sebastian hears the light creak of a bed frame. after a moment, merrill pulls him closer again, and he knows to move carefully, until he can rest a knee onto the mattress and follow her.

she guides him to lie down, careful urging rather than shoving. sebastian ends up on his back, laid straight out, while she seems to be sitting by his hip, from the dip in the mattress and the touch of her knee against his side.

the shifting of weight signals when she leans over him. her hand presses to his abdomen, and her lips brush over his collarbone. she leaves a series of chaste kisses across his skin: the hollow of his throat, the slope of his shoulder, right on his sternum, just below a nipple. tingling sensation remains like a mapped constellation.

although his hands are free, he's unsure what to do with them other than curling his fingers in the blanket beneath them; he wouldn't know where to reach for her, and doesn't want to disrupt her.

her fingers trace his hip bone, coming to his side and sliding down to his thigh. he doesn't expect her next kiss above his navel.

"you're very lovely," she murmurs against his flushed skin.

'lovely' isn't a word sebastian has ever received before. he's had partners compliment his body or how he uses it, but he was more often the one doing the complimenting, and still, no one ever chose the word merrill does. the way she says it, it feels good.

her hand pushes harder against him as she moves, and a moment later, sebastian finds her seated comfortably on his thighs. she's still fully clothed, her wrapped leather leggings smooth to the touch.

she drifts her fingers down both his arms, taking one of his wrists to lift it off the bed. she kisses a line along the inside of his forearm, then over his knuckles.

sebastian gasps in surprise when her mouth closes around two fingers, silky tongue fit between them. experimentally, he curls his fingertips down on it and drags them back to the tip before pushing them deeper into her mouth again. he's rewarded with a faint sound of pleasure that reverberates around his fingers.

her reaction amplifies his own; he has always found satisfaction in sharing such intimacy. his parents would call it a shameful indulgence. the chantry would call it a selfish distraction. he only wants to connect with another, to know someone inside and out, to feel good, and to make someone else feel good with him.

after a few more passes of her tongue along his fingers, merrill pulls back, though she keeps holding onto his hand, her index finger across his pulse point. his heartbeat is loud in his ears, even more so for his lack of sight to distract him from it.

"i'm going to get undressed now," she tells him.

it's something of a promise that makes need flow through him. he wets his bottom lip, clutches the blanket between his fingers. he nods against the pillow.

he feels her move, and expects her to stand, but not to press a firm parting kiss to his lips before she does so.

then her presence is out of his reach, but not gone. her footsteps don't recede far, and he can hear the shift of fabric as she removes her clothes. he turns his face towards her, even though the blindfold obscures everything; he just can't help but seek her out in some way.

she steps further away, perhaps to set her clothes aside. sebastian shifts on the bed, feeling untethered and restless without her touch. the darkness feels more prominent when he's alone, waiting and anticipating, thinking too much.

"sebastian," she says from a slight distance away. "i'm still here."

unconsciously, he relaxes, soothed. her voice is lyrical, light, like a wind chime rustled gently in the breeze. he isn't alone here at all, and he knows she will not leave him. he cannot see her, but he trusts that she's there, and that she will remain.

footsteps approach, and her hand comes to settle on his chest. sebastian instinctively relaxes further, lifting his face to where she must approximately be standing.

"do you want to continue?" she asks.

the question is a surprise; he hasn't said stop, his cock is hard between his legs from her leaving kisses and touches all across his body, just his being here at all is a declaration in itself that he wants this enough to break a vow and seek the company of an apostate.

but she asked it with a weight of seriousness, and so he pays it its due, taking a moment to think, truly, about what he wants.

and he realizes that what he wants hasn't mattered in a long time. he was sent away because it was what his parents wanted. grand cleric elthina was understanding to begin with, but she made her disapproval well-known in the end, too, when he chose to prioritize avenging his family over his service to the chantry. he has been shaped, he has been at the whim of others, he has not even allowed himself to think about seeking personal pleasure, until merrill.

"yes," he says breathily. "yes, i want to... to feel--"

words fail him, as he's no longer used to asking for what he wants, suddenly overwhelmed with merrill's consideration.

her hand comes to his face, startling him, but not in a bad way. she draws her knuckles from his cheekbone down along his jaw, caressing him like no one has done before.

unexpectedly, sebastian feels safe. in the darkness, there is only her closeness, her touch, her care. he need not think of anything but her. in the maker's light, he is on display, scrutinized, forced to act a certain way, but in the calm dark with merrill, she only asks him to be true to himself. "please," he murmurs.

her thumb passes over his cheek, then she pulls away, but sebastian doesn't feel the loss of her like he did when she got undressed. he knows she's still there, that she is only moving to join him.

it was wrong of him to liken her to a desire demon. he has felt the cloying touch of a desire demon, and it had been twisted and sharp, insidious, sticking in him like barbs. merrill is soft and grounding, she offers him all this without it leaving gouges, without it coming at a price. he is not relinquishing anything to her, not in the same way he has to the chantry. he is not relinquishing part of himself, he is only putting himself in her gentle hands.

knees settle on either side of his waist, bare skin to bare skin. her hand curls around his cock, an action that he should have anticipated, and yet takes him enough by surprise that he jolts up hard, groaning as the sensation sparks through him. no one has touched him this intimately in so long that he's already left breathless, feeling like he would be rendered unseeing even without the blindfold, as overcome as he is.

"merrill," he gasps, a storm of swirling winds inside of him. need and elation and shame and confusion. he wants, shouldn't want, doesn't want to disappoint, isn't sure who he doesn't want to disappoint--

"it's alright, lethallin," merrill says as she continues sweeping her palm along his length. "let go. i have you."

sebastian bucks into her hand, a whine falling from his lips. there is nothing but her touch and a sense of being cared for, all of it mounting quickly with each caress.

it has been too long for him to resist his climax, as much as the blush across his cheeks is tinged with some embarrassment alongside the desire and warmth. it overflows from him almost without warning, leaving him bowed taut and enraptured. merrill just continues sliding her fingers around him to ease him through it, gentling when she correctly suspects that he's becoming oversensitive.

the conflicting thoughts return as his body relaxes, mind clearing enough to think of more than just merrill's touch. with this, he has officially, fully broken his vow. he has done the very thing that played a part in his family sending him away. he has turned his back on all his growth, has given into temptation.

and he has not felt so good, so at peace, in years.

it's backwards.

"sebastian?"

her voice draws his focus, calming the storm. he makes a faint noise, words still beyond him.

merrill rubs her thumbs into his hips in soothing circles. "you did very well. you've been so open with me. i like seeing you have pleasure, i like seeing the real you. being able to experience this with you is wonderful, you know."

the words flow over him like cleansing water, steadily sluicing away the tumultuous thoughts. she's right--this version of him is more real than the one the chantry made him into, for better or worse. she even approves, and her opinion means much more to him than he ever thought possible before tonight.

"i was a disgrace," sebastian whispers.

her hand cups his cheek. "i did not know you back then, but i sincerely doubt it."

she has such conviction. in hindsight, sebastian does know that he was going too far back then, but it was more complicated than him simply being an unruly young man ruining his family's reputation. he wants to believe he would have listened, if his parents merely expressed concern instead of sending him away, but that was not their way. it never had been, and he had always been a spare, easy to cast away. perhaps merrill is more right than they ever were.

tentatively, he reaches out for her, finding her thighs braced on either side of him. he runs his hands up them to her waist, pausing there just to hold her.

"i'm sorry i ever thought so ill of you, merrill."

he feels her shifting, and lifts his face to meet what he can feel will be a kiss. it's light and sweet. "i understand," she says, her lips still ghosting against his own. "you still gave this a chance."

she is more forgiving than anyone he has ever known. sebastian captures her lips again, pouring his gratitude and affection into it, wanting to show her that he doesn't regret this, that she has given him something good, and he knows that, despite the confusion his time with chantry has wrought. the ingrained shame is already fading, replaced with the assurance that there is nothing harmful in what they're doing, when she has been so careful and encouraging with him.

sebastian intends to be kinder to her in return. he slides his hands around her hips to her back, drawing her closer into an embrace as he kisses her again, able to sink into the sensation of their closeness without being conflicted about it. her body is warm, and strong even in her litheness. she is holding herself in such a way to avoid pressing her cunt to his cock--so, so careful and considerate--but he doesn't need her to do that anymore. he wants to feel her, and give her pleasure.

wrapping an arm around her hips, he pulls them together, feeling the curls of hair and gathered slick. at his wordless invitation, she rolls against him, breathing out a sigh against his lips. they keep kissing and roving their hands over each other, slowly moving together.

it doesn't take much to bring him back to full hardness, his body still aching for more after long years of denial. sebastian presses his thumbs into merrill's hips, guiding her, and she responds easily, taking him in hand to align them.

a silent gasp builds in sebastian's throat. the blindfold makes the sensation more acute; for a breathless moment, his mind blanks, hooked only on merrill tight and wet around him.

she kisses him, teeth dragging across his bottom lip when she pulls back, after. her hands press to his chest, sliding downward, and he can feel her straightening up, her thighs clenching against his hips. slowly, she begins to move, and sebastian matches her languid pace, thrusting up to meet her. he settles his hands on her thighs, kneading his fingers into her skin, feeling his way upward to her waist. in his mind's eye, he creates the vague image of her, beautifully poised above him, skin flush. he hasn't gotten to see her naked, yet--he feels her, instead, finding the curves of her muscles, the jut of her hipbones, a couple spots that are rougher with scar tissue.

he can hear her breath shudder as he runs his hands over her, feel her push down harder on his cock. sebastian wishes he could see her, and yet he doesn't regret the cloth over his eyes, accentuating every touch and allowing him to be one with her, to think of nothing but her and how good it feels.

he draws his hands up to her breasts, delighting in the moan he gets when he thumbs over her nipples. she leans forward into his hands as she grinds her hips down, fingers clawing on his abdomen.

they both move a little quicker, merrill's thighs squeezing hard around him and him snapping his hips up to meet her. he presses his fingertips into the soft skin of her breasts, then drags them down to sweep through the hair around her folds, wet with her slick. her hips stutter when he pushes his thumb against her; she thrusts down and forward, her weight shifting in a way that makes him imagine her arching back, seeking the exact right position of their bodies together.

her palms land on his thighs, arms back to hold herself up. sebastian thrusts hard, and she lets out a needy cry, her nails digging into his skin again. sebastian's heartbeat strikes hard, breath caught at the sounds of her pleasure.

"merrill," he breathes like a prayer, clutching at her hips. "let me feel you, you feel so good."

she jolts, sinking down and clenching around him. each of her breaths is like a gasp, shaky and desperate.

and she comes with a shiver sebastian can feel radiating between them, her body tight with it. sebastian slows his thrusts to a coaxing roll as her climax comes in waves, a wondrous wet heat around his cock.

when she begins to settle, sebastian leans up and wraps his arms around her back, need driving him. he flips them over, pinning merrill into her mattress, and fucks into her slick, still wrapped around her--wanting her close, fully against him.

she readily hooks her legs around his hips, holding him in return, urging him on. her hands dive into his hair, mussing the strands around the knot of the blindfold. with all his senses--save sight--full of her, sebastian finds his second release, clutching her close and pressing his face into the curve of her neck. he breathes against her skin, laboured and satisfied.

this time, his mind is not divided. he feels more whole than ever.

gently, he draws away from her, shifting to lie at her side. she rolls with him, keeping her arm around his back.

for a moment, they catch their breath together, merrill's fingers sweeping lightly along his spine. then, merrill brings her hand up to his nape.

"i'm going to take the blindfold off now, okay?"

sebastian nods, tilting his head back into her touch. he feels her reach for the knot in the fabric, careful not to pull at his hair when she works it loose.

when it's pulled away, sebastian squints his eyes open, but the room is lit only with candles, and doesn't pain him. in the faint glow, he regards merrill's face right in front of his own, her skin flushed and hair dishevelled, a sweet smile on her face.

it's an infectious smile, and sebastian feels lighter than he has in a long time; he smiles back.

even so, she asks, "how are you feeling?"

he understands that she wants to check on him, just as she wanted to be sure he knew he could stop this at any time. "incredible," he answers honestly. "and yourself?"

she beams. "much the same."

she brushes her fingers along his jaw, nearly making him want to close his eyes, but as soothing as it is, he wants to take in the sight of her now that he can.

they lie together for another minute before merrill leans in to kiss him on the forehead, then turns and stands up, going to a table on the other side of the room. sebastian watches her retrieve a pitcher of water and two cups, filling them both and bringing them back, holding one out.

propping himself up on his elbow, sebastian accepts the cup gratefully, only now realizing how parched he is.

merrill sits beside him, both of them sipping the water until the cups are empty and set away on the nightstand.

"i'm glad we could do this," merrill says. "it's much nicer to have an understanding, isn't it?"

it is. sebastian still doesn't know what to think of blood magic, but he has a good idea of what to think of merrill, and she doesn't line up with the story the chantry tells. she is no manipulative temptress--she is every bit the kind woman she has always seemed. he has now felt something with her that he has never felt with another, has never felt before at all. he can't thank her enough for that, he can only do better to understand her. she has earned his trust; if she is as careful with her magic as she was with him, that is something to be respected.

"the version of you i had in my head is but a pale mirage," he says. that version was born of chantry creed and cautionary tales. there are many things about his service to the chantry that he has a new perspective on--or an old perspective that was quashed and buried, now brought to the surface again. "it's good to see you with my own eyes."

merrill grins, reaching out to run her thumb along his cheekbone, just beneath where the blindfold sat. "you are welcome to come see me whenever you like."

it hadn't occurred to sebastian to wonder at whether or not this was a one-time thing. from what he can tell, merrill and their friends enjoy time together on a regular basis. he could not have fathomed that he might fit into that equation. when he came home with merrill earlier in the night, he wasn't even sure he'd follow through with this once, let alone make a habit of it.

but he does want to, and wanting doesn't make him feel as wrong as it did before tonight. he isn't the same man he was in starkhaven, nor is he exactly what the chantry made him into. he'd like to explore who he can be when he's honest with himself, and he sees that merrill is someone he can be himself around.

"then i will," he promises.

merrill smiles again, drawing her fingers down his arm. "would you like to stay the night?"

he shouldn't, as returning to the chantry in the morning will raise questions, but sebastian doesn't want to worry about that right now. "i would."

she leans down to kiss him, just a light, brief thing, a fleeting contact, before she stands again to approach a wash basin. wordlessly, they clean up, then merrill blows out the candles, leaving them in gentle darkness as she slips back into the bed beside him.

sebastian wraps his arm around her, and she settles against his side. entirely at ease, sebastian quickly falls asleep in her comforting presence.

[ihearyou-jikook]

JK, his visitors, & lil CK undies

Look, when I saw the Weverse notifications go off for Tae and JK yesterday I just sighed at work thinking, here we go yall.

I’m not gonna go over all the deets. We got good people out here like @kanmom51 doing the hard work, and Tumblr isn’t even putting it on the TLs so I highly encourage you to check it out here:

I do want to talk about how the wannabe Jikookers are crying like it's the end of the world because Tae….AND Hobi mind you, were at JK’s house. Like yall……🙄

First of all, ya boy Tae, he has a track record. If you know, you know. 

He’s that friend that does shit either without thinking of the consequences and/or likes to shake things up cause they think it's funny. I have a few troll friends like that. I love them dearly.

JK is a genius and quick on his feet.

He was like: Initiate damage control even though I really need to finish this laundry and get my ass to bed. I got shit to do tomorrow, damn.

I mean, are you guys really out here ignoring how much JK was huffing and puffing throughout that live while folding laundry? Almost in disbelief that he was even doing it. 

But the man knows how to multitask, he out here folding them CK undies like a boss. I really should be taking notes, need to start folding my husband’s undies properly cause JK out here putting me to shame.

Oh and another question for wannabe Jikook supporters.

Are you guys really out here still confused if Jikook shares a space at any given time? Like really?

Between JM’s celebration live on April 4 and JK’s undie live, they out here dropping hints left and right. And this is only in this past week. There have been many puzzle pieces that have been dropped in the past few years that all add up to them cohabitating somewhat regularly.

It really doesn’t matter if they are cohabitating or not, that doesn’t define a relationship, but they are literally serving you delicious appetizers with these hidden-in-plain-sight hints consistently and you keep refusing it. 

Why? 

I don't know, maybe you like how it feels.

But I am full on these appetizers and we haven't even gotten to the main course yet. Jikook takes good care of me. I stay fed.

Check out Kanmon51’s post about JM’s celebration live from April 4 if you haven’t already.

And lastly just as Kanmon51 mentioned, K-Kookminers/K-Jikookers whatever you wanna call them, they know what is up. They are not pressed by Tae | Kook shippers.

If you don’t understand that Jikook are Korean men, who live in Korea, exhibit Korean culture, check off every box of a Korean couple in their culture, and are a queer closeted couple, then what are you doing claiming you are a Jikook supporter?

If you don’t get it, well don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I'm over here thinking about JK nicely folding some Jimin red CK undies and how nicely Jimin ties his man's hair back neatly. 🫠