#i am having a lot of mountain feels today if you couldn’t tell

[thepoisonedchalice]

some mountain ghoul thoughts i had on my walk this morning..

give me mountain with wavy shoulder length hair. give me mountain with a messy bun. give me mountain with moss covered ram horns. give me mountain with tattoos of all his favourite plants and flowers on his arms. give me mountain growing weed in the greenhouse. give me mountain walking around the ghoul den shirtless and everyone ogling his tattoos and his pants sitting low on his hips. give me sweet and soft but intimidating mountain. give me mountain bringing you flower bouquets every few days full of flowers he grew. give me mountain laying naked on the dock at the pond soaking in the sunshine with rain and swiss swimming. give me mountain relaxing with a joint after a loud and overstimulating day. give me cheeky and smirking mountain.

[syrupgirl]

woah??? ur writing is legit so good??? may i please request a neteyam x human reader where the reader gets bullied a lot for being human and it’s just angsty fluff??? no rush at all, write if you want to!!

a/n: I feel so bad it took me so long to get to this💔tysm for ur compliments, darling. I hope you like it

i also wanna mention that none of this fic is not meant to hate on Neytiri in any way :’) personally i think she in completely justified in her feelings and hesitancies towards any and all humans. Reader is probably bummed out more bc they hold Neytiri in high regard and wanna be liked by her.

Transcend -Neteyam

The relationship you had with Neteyam made up part of who you were. Before your memory could serve you, nothing could seperate you from the eldest Sully child.

So close to the other that you felt like an extension of the other. You had your own notch that measured your height right next to his, you were there when he chose his Ilu, you were there when he completed his dream hunt, all of it. You had been by his side for all of it and the two of you wouldn’t have it either way.

But, no matter what, what you had with Neteyam would not change the relationships you had with other children for one specific reason, you were human. Of the same people who killed hundred upon thousands of Na’vi. No amount of friendship would change that.

And to some degree you had come to terms with that. You couldn’t change what you were so you focused on fighting for what you knew was right on the side of the people who taught you that in the first place.

You had come to terms with it, but there were days when those hushed words got to you.

Your morning had started off early, Neteyam shaking you awake shortly after eclipse had ended and snuck you out of the mountains, down into the ground. The two of you spent the morning running through shallow brooks and swinging off the highest branches of the trees. It made you feel like you were a child again, where you had done the exact same thing with the same boy until laughter left you breathless.

Now, you were back in the heart of the Hallelujah Mountains, each hauling your hunt in your shoulders.

“They’re back! They’re back!” You heard a little voice shout. Tuktirey.

Oh, how you loved that girl, you just wished you could wrap her up and carry her around with you always. Just days after her birth, you were obsessed with the baby; constantly asking Neytiri to hold her and look after her, taking her with you while you trekked with Neteyam through the forest floor.

The energy you poured over her was very much reciprocated, as Tuktuk loved you just as dearly. As soon as she learned to walk, she spent the days with you around toddling around after you and oh, it was just the sweetest thing.

“Little Tuktirey! Singing my praises as usual?”

The young one giggled in response and skipped over to you, her tail swishing behind her.

“No love for your brother, Tuk? You wound me!” Neteyam whined behind you. You laughed heartily when Tuktirey promptly ignored her big brother.

“What did you get today? Anything fancy?” She asked eagerly as she stood on her tiptoes, trying to peak at the carcass hauled.

With a huff, you and Neteyam dropped the bodies to the ground to be prepared.

“Nothing to fancy this time, sorry, Tuktuk.”

She pouted and wrapped her arms around your waist, smushing her face into your chest. You laughed again, placed your hands into her hair, and pinched her ears gently.

Tuk squealed and immediately ran away from you, probably to her other siblings. Probably Kiri.

“That is not fair, I’m her brother by blood, and she prefers you over me!” You rolled your eyes at Neteyam’s drama.

“Maybe if you were as cool as me, Neteyam, your sister would actually like you!” You sighed, putting on a fake high and mighty attitude.

“Hey- I am plenty cool!”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that, skxáwng.”

“By Eywa, why do I even keep you around at this point.”

You doubled over in laughter as Neteyam began to walk away, probably to alert his parents of his return.

Sighing contentedly, you wiped your eyes that had filled with happy tears from you uncontrollable giggles and unsheathed your knife to begin the processing of the meat.

“Can you teach me?” A little voice piped up beside you. Slightly startled, you glanced down and saw little Tuk had returned to your side, a hungry gleam in her eyes, a hunger to learn.

You tapped your chin in fake thought and scrunched up your face. “I don’t know…It might be a bit hard for you…”

“It won’t be hard! I’ve seen Lo’ak and Kiri do it heaps!” She sprung up and down on her toes. “Please? I’ll do whatever you say!”

“Okay, but you have to pay attention to everything I do, clear?”

“Yep!”

-

“-and then once you have wrapped the meat, you always make sure to return all the parts you won’t use back into Eywa.”

You were surprised Tuk has stuck around this long, listening to everything you had said with rabid attention just like she said she would.

It seemed like she was having a great time; trying her hardest to copy your actions to a T and not getting discouraged when they came out a little sloppy. She had been honest when she said she wanted to learn and you had this strange sense of pride that swelled in your chest.

“Tuk, where have you been?” The voice of Neytiri cut through your thoughts and you turned around to that direction.

Stalking towards you was a very frustrated looking Neytiri and you felt a lump of nerves settle in your chest.

The woman stopped behind her daughter and placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked defensive, like she was ready to fight or flee at a moment notice.

Neytiri didn’t even have to say any words, she just looked you up and down with widened eyes and puffs of air coming from her nose.

“Mama! Yn was showing me how to prepare the meat to be cooked and the…the skin to be…something-ed…” Oh dear, sweet Tuk. She was completely oblivious to the tension heavy stares that were being charged above her head and you wanted it to stay that way.

“Neytiri I apologise, I should have come to ask you first.“ You started and looked to your feet. Hoping that would show her that you didn’t want any trouble.

“You should have. You do not make decisions for my daughter.” She whispered before she gently took Tuk by the hand and walked away, supposedly back to their marui.

You felt a hot flush crawl up from your toes and all the way up to your face.

How embarrassed you felt in that moment. The last thing you had ever wanted to do was to overstep the boundaries made clear by Neytiri when it came to her children. You had no problems with them and understood why she had made them in the first place, but it didn’t make you feel any bit better about yourself when she reminded you that they were there and made to seperate you from her family.

A bit dazed, you crouched down next to one of the hides and hoisted it over your shoulder.

“Did you leave any for me?” Neteyam asked.

You jumped in fright, well you would have if you weren’t carrying such a heavy load in your shoulders.

Turning to him, you tried to release any tension you held in your face.

“I was going to, but Tuktuk wanted to learn so I used yours for that. Sorry.”

He smiled and bent down to pick up the reaming hide and came to stand next to you.

“That’s okay. It will stop her from pestering me to do it for her.”

You laughed a bit at that and the two of you started walking in the direction of the tanning tent.

“I saw that my mother spoke to you, what’d she say?” So he had seen that.

“She just came to get Tuk. Time escaped me, I didn’t realise how long it had been.” You reassured him. He hummed in response, believing your white lie.

Silence sat between you and Neteyam was the first to break it, “Do you think I will be able to convince Ni’awxtu to let me keep a whole skin?”

-

A refreshing shiver ran up your spine as you dropped your feet into the water, kicking them back and forth. The sun beamed though the foliage above, filtering into a bright green light.

Neteyam said he would be back in a minute, just going off to grab…something. Gosh, things just fell out of your head sometimes.

You shut your eyes and took a deep breath. If you concentrated hard enough, you could pretend that your face wasn’t shielded behind mask, that your exopack wasn’t weighing heavily on your back, that you could breath the Pandora air, fresh and unfiltered. Your brows furrow, and you try to bring yourself back to that peaceful place you were before. It always loomed in the back of your head.

It truly is a strange feeling to be brought up in a culture but still have such a clear divide. That divide isn’t a bad thing, but a thing nonetheless.

So caught up in your thoughts, you don’t hear the creeping of feet behind you, the squishing of leaves and breaking of branches.

You were suddenly, literally, yanked out of your own head and a hand reaches into your hair and pulls you back. Hard.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I hurt your precious little head? Can you still breath?” The words are far from genuine, delivered with an airy laugh to it. Clutching the back of your head, you turned around and looked up.

Behind you stood a few kids your age. Their faces were familiar but their names eluded you.

You steeled yourself. You weren’t afraid of these people. “What do you want from me?”

One of them snorts and hits his mate on the chest, encouraging her to laugh with him. She does and they share a snide chuckle. You narrowed your eyes at them and stood, still not matching their height but getting closer to it at least.

“Where is your guard, huh?” The girl asks as she stalks around you. She occasionally flicked and pulled at pieces of your clothing, including your exopack, which made your heart beat pick up more and more every time she brushed it.

“He is not my guard, I can protect myself.” You muttered.

“Even when you are so dependent on…this?”

In seconds, you felt your heart plummet to your toes.

Your exopack was suddenly ripped from your back and your mask along with it. On instinct you held the breath that was still left in your lungs, your shaking hands flew to your face. It was almost like you could feel as the blood drained from your cheeks and formed a tight ball of terror in your chest, heavy and terrifying.

The young na’vi laughed, guffawed really. As if you imminent suffocation was endlessly hilarious to them. The girl held your exopack in her hand. In her hands it looked worse for wear.

She gripped her stomach. “Not so high and mighty now?” She gasped between laughs.

“You can’t be that strong if you are so dependent on that machine to keep you alive, can you?” The boy laughed along with his friend.

Their words didn’t even make it to your brain. You entire focus was on the mask dangling uselessly in her hands. You looked up, locked eyes with the girl, and took a few steps forward.

Faster than you could blink, their laughter ceased and was replaced with their smirks again.

“Ah, ah, ah! You stay right there.” The girl tutted. “Or you won’t be getting this back anytime soon.”

Your eyes widened and your gestured to your chest and mouth. This ‘prank’ had gone too far and if you didn’t get that pack back fast- the thought just about bright tears to your eyes.

Ignoring their orders, you frantically rushed forward again and took a swing for the pack. You could feel the need to gasp for air rise; your time was running out.

“You stay in your place, tawtute” The boy snarled. He ducked behind you and looped his arms through the back of your elbows, holding you tight to his body.

You thrashed hard in his hold and clawed at any patch of skin you could reach but it was no use. He towered over you and easily trumped you in strength. At this point, you had as much hope as you did air in your lungs.

You could feel your chest burn and your heart pound. If you gave in and took a breath of the pandoran air, it would only end things faster.

By Eywa, this was such a pathetic way to die.

“Poor thing, do you want this back? Should I just give it to you?”

There was no point in answering, you just tried to plead as best as you could without words.

“Just breathe, man! C’mon just a little breath.” The boy behind you taunted.

They laughed and laughed and laughed. It bled into your ears.

Resigned to your fate, you stopped thrashing, closed your eyes, and let out the breath you had desperately been holding. And inhaled.

You probably looked like a fish out of water, gaping and gasping for a breath that wouldn’t come. The painful throb began in your temples racked up tenfold and the burning pain in your chest felt like an inferno. The teens behind you laughed and hollered and finally realised their grip on you.

Faintly, in the back of your mind, you heard the crack of your exopack hitting a rock nearby. Though, through your puffs and wheezes you could barely hair it anyway.

Your eyes fluttered and your jaw slackened. When did their jeers become so far away? And…had eclipse begun already? Delirious wonderings filled your head as your eyes rolled back into your head.

-

The first thing that returned to you was your hearing, and the first thing you heard was…begging? Albeit it was punctuated by a dreadful ringing.

It was like a whisper at first, almost like you had been plunged underwater. And whoever was on the surface was desperate to bring you back up again.

A hand slid behind your neck and lifted it slightly, slipping a strap over head. Something was pressed to your face and suddenly breathing came much easier.

As you came to you started gulping down the air and your eyes flitted open. Ah, so that was the source of the whisper-screams. You had completely forgotten about him. About Neteyam.

“-n? Yn?!” Since when were his hands on your face?

You had been rested on your back, head propped up against something hard and uncomfortable, and another exopack sat secured on your face. Confused, you brought a hand up and tapped the mask in question, not trusting your vocal chords.

Neteyam, however, looked far too frazzled to answer your questions plainly. He was sat beside you, knees in-line with your chest and his upper half leaning over you. The size difference between the two of you was apparent constantly but having him towered over you like this made you feel especially small.

“W-when I came back I couldn’t see you anywhere but then I saw your exopack on the ground,” He rambled. Concern creased his face and oh, how you wanted to smooth every wrinkle.

His rambles continued, “I ran into Norm on the w-way back and he said you forgot to grab your spare. So I grabbed it and you’re lucky I did!” You frowned; aren’t people supposed to be nice to you when you’ve hurt yourself? Why were you being scolded?

Neteyam must have noticed your pouty expressions because berating came to a halt.

“I was so worried about you…” His hand stroked your head and he frowned even harder. “What happened?”

As you recounted your story, you felt as tears welled up in your eyes once more. A dark shade settled in Neteyam’s eyes, his frown turned into a scowl.

You’re eased up against a stump of a tree and the boy takes your hand in both of hit firmly.

He looked into your eyes with a determination lit up in his.

“Yn, I swear to you that I will find who did this. They won’t go without punishment. I’ll have my dad see to it if I have to.” His fingers squeezed yours and your lips quirked despite yourself.

“I knew you would come and find me. Deep down, I knew you would.”

The resolute gleam in his eyes softened before he said, “I will always find you. No matter where you are, I will always get you back to me”.

a/n: I rushed the ending a lil but I just reallyyyy wanted this done 😍

The energy you poured over her was very much reciprocated, as Tuktuk loved you just as dearly

When she learned to walk, she spent the days with you around toddling around after you and oh, it was just the cutest thing.

“Little Tuktirey! Singing my praises as usual?”

The young one giggled in response and skipped over to you, her tail swishing behind her.

[brienneoftarth1989]

Yes Captain part 8

Captain Phasma x fem reader

Previous / next / series

Summary: when you were finally allowed to leave the infirmary Phasma told you that you would be staying with her for the foreseeable future.

Warnings: hospital recovery, fluff

Requests open

———————————

You have been in hospital for the last 8 months and the whole experience was torturous. Learning how to walk again has been a frustrating experience in itself. First you had to gain strength in your legs by doing these exercises. The pain caused in the first few weeks was horrible. One leg was in pain because you had been stabbed in it and the other leg was in pain because it was completely mangled when you crashed.

Then came the standing exercises. You had to stand for a certain period of time before being allowed to sit down. At first you obviously needed support from others and the surrounding area but as time went on you relied less and less on everyone and everything. When you were finally able to stand on your own you felt like you had overcome this huge mountain.

That was when it dawned on you, learning to stand was one thing, you still needed to learn to walk and this battle was nowhere near over. Even though you had overcome this huge challenge you felt like it still wasn’t enough and that you would never get around to walking.

Throughout this time Phasma still hadn’t left your side. She stayed with you each day and night and was there through the whole process of you trying to walk. Unfortunately she normally got the receiving end of your anger and frustration of learning to walk however she never showed that it was bothering her.

You were grateful that Phasma had decided to stick around because deep down you knew that without her you wouldn’t be where you were now. You would most likely still be in your hospital bed telling yourself you couldn’t do it. Thankfully with Phasma’s motivation you were finally able to walk again.

Aside from learning to walk you also had to get back physical strength elsewhere in your body as well as trying to gain some control over your memory loss. There are still some areas that are a bit patchy but you were lucky to have gained back most of your memory.

The doctors said you were lucky that this was the only type of brain injury that occurred because considering you died twice on the table the impact that it had should have been a lot worse. You were just a lucky person.

Today was the day that you would go home, finally getting to leave the hospital. You were scared but also excited. You were scared because you obviously didn’t know how well you were going to cope on your own. You had spent the last months with someone constantly by your side whether that was Phasma or the nurses.

You didn’t know how well you were going to cope but unfortunately was going to be something that you had to overcome. Although the anxiety was there you were definitely excited to be finally leaving this place. You loved everyone that cared for you but you really were looking forward to being able to live your own life again.

You were currently sitting in your room on your own, enjoying your own company. One of your favourite members of staff had just entered your room to bring you your breakfast. “So are you excited to be going home today?” they asked you as they placed your food in front of you. “I definitely am. I am sick of this hospital food” you laughed which caused them to laugh.

“Yh I don’t really blame you there. The food isn’t the best and I’m the one that serves it” they laughed which caused you to let out a little giggle. “Well I better be getting back to work. These people definitely won’t be feeding themselves” they laughed as they made their way back to their trolley before heading down the corridor.

You happily ate your sad breakfast. You couldn’t wait to have a proper breakfast. You looked around your room and seeing it bare and back to normal made you feel a number of things. Phasma had packed your bags that she had brought in when you first arrived at the hospital. They were all piled in a corner ready to go back to your room. Well most of them were. Phasma had already started taking them back to your room as she knew you wouldn’t be able to carry any of them.

You waited around in your room for most of the morning before one of the doctors finally came round to see you so they could discharge you. While you were waiting Phasma had managed to make a number of trips before finally leaving about 10 minutes ago with the last couple of bags and she just so happened to arrive at the same time the doctor had shown up to talk to you about going home.

Phasma sat down next to you to await to see what the doctor had to say about you going home. “Ok, so upon reviewing everything you are now in a suitable position to be going home. We are going to issue you a wheelchair as well as a walking stick. This is just so if you have days where it is getting too much you have the options to use them if need be. You will need to go to physiotherapy once a week to continue to build strength in your legs as well as weekly counselling to deal with any trauma” they said as they handed over the paper for you to sign.

You quickly had a read over the paperwork that had been handed to you before signing your name at the bottom to confirm you were being discharged. With the doctor happy with everything he turned to you one final time to ask you one last question. “So, who will you be staying with for the next few months?”

You gave him a look of confusion before answering. “What do you mean? I thought I would be going to be living in my quarters” you said to the doctor. The doctor looked at you before looking at Phasma. “I did mention it to her but she must have forgotten” Phasma said to the doctor. “Tell me what!” you shouted starting to get frustrated.

“Calm down, it’s alright. Basically you are going to be staying with me for a little while. It’s just so I can make sure you are safe and with your memory the way it is at the moment at least I will be able to keep an eye on you and I know you will be safe” she said as she crouched down so she was eye level with you.

You looked at Phasma before anger took over you. “Taking care of? I’m a grown adult! I don’t need to be babied. I just need to get on with my life. I want to be able to take care of myself!” you shouted before you started crying. “I know, I know, as soon as you are able to remember things without forgetting and your physio has finished then you can go back to living in your quarters. Trust me y/n I won’t be babying you. I will just be there if you need a hand” Phasma said as she caressed your hand.

Phasma was right as much as you hated to admit it. You needed help even if it was temporary. Phasma could see you were thinking. “Look y/n, as soon as you are in a position to look after yourself without being a danger to yourself then you can go back to living by yourself in your own quarters” she said looking at you trying to read your face.

You took a deep breath before sighing. “Fine. I will stay with you Phasma but as soon as I can look after myself properly I am going back to living by myself” you said quite quickly. “That is absolutely fine y/n but just know that you will always be welcome at my place” Phasma said with a little smile on their face. You couldn’t help but smile at her, she was too cute.

“Ok, I’m ready to go then” you sighed. Phasma helped you out of bed before helping you sit down in the wheelchair. “It’s a long way to walk with your walking stick so I’m going to wheel you back to my room. From there we will work on walking further and further with your stick as time goes forward” she said smiling at you once you were sitting in your chair.

“That’s fine. I’m pretty tired anyway. I don’t feel like walking that kind of distance just yet” you said as you relaxed back in your chair as Phasma pushed you out of the hospital room. You made your way down the corridors before finally leaving the hospital behind. All you had to do now was get to Phasma’s quarters. The good thing about having the hospital on the flagship meant that you didn’t have to travel too far.

As Phasma was pushing you down the hallway to her quarters she could tell you were feeling a bit depressed. “Hold on” she said as she started running down the hallways of the flagship. You gripped the side of the wheelchair as Phasma ran quicker and quicker. You couldn’t help but laugh as she ran down the halls. Maybe staying with Phasma for a little while might not be the end of the world. Deep down you were looking forward to what these next few months may bring you.

[heaven-s-black-box]

Elsaria quest act 3: Until Dust Do Us Part- Ensemble & @/crystalkat6747 OCs

Return to File

Recovery date: July 1st, 2024

Description: After things on the Luofu wrap up, Kakeru and Kesshou get some distressing news from their home world. A disease is spreading through the population, rendering the current queen bed ridden along with an entire city. The Astral Express crew decides to push back their Penacony visit just a bit to see if they can help.

Notes: This work was recovered in conjunction with @crystalkat6747, we thank her for her contributions. The story quest for her OCs and their home world, written in 3 acts and trying to follow the style of the in game trailblazer quests.

Long form stories aren't my strong suit, so this chapter took forever because unlike act 2 I hadn't started it when I finished the previous act. I'm pretty proud of how this whole story turned out, it's not very combat centric so it doesn't quite feel like the game but i think it's a good overall story.

chapters: 1 2 3

Word count: 3 372

Back to directory

The old castle ruins reminded Caelus of the icy wastelands of Jarilo VI. He’d been so caught up in the mission when they were making their way through the mountain pass that he’d missed it, but with their new less pressing mission he had a chance to really take it in. Maybe this is what Jarilo VI looked like before its stelleron disaster. 

They weren’t far from where they needed to be, surprisingly. Skystead was just on the other side of the amethyst falls they’d seen earlier, and the old castle was somewhere between where they’d entered the mountain pass and the temple. But it would certainly be a long walk.

---

Blade tried to stick to the shadows, but by the Aeons Aoi and Ayano kept this place well lit. There were windows everywhere and where there weren’t windows there were candles, and if there was a shadow it certainly wasn’t big enough for him to skulk in. Instead he was forced to allow Jing Yuan to help him, letting the General run distractions so he could sneak around.

Really, he felt more like his younger self trying to sneak around with Ayano than the renowned terrorist he now was. Though he supposes the man present today is the young fool and not the jaded man.

Jing Yuan had been very willing to help him, telling him all he knew about the situation. It was certainly a strange one.

While disease had been labeled the culprit, Blade couldn’t think of one that fit the symptoms. Wing rot wasn’t contagious, and anything that was shouldn’t have spread from the wings. The first symptoms should have been inflammatory responses, not neurological decay.

So, with Jing Yuan’s help getting off the castle grounds, he’d headed out to ground zero.

His phone rang once. Twice.

“Weird that you’re calling me, what’s up?” Silver Wolf’s voice crackled through the speaker.

Blade picked his way through the field where the farmer’s family said he’d been working before heading into the city. The plants were tall with a few harmless bugs used for pest control, and everything smelt faintly of chemicals.

“I need you to tell me if anything strange comes up in the pictures I’m about to send you.”

He took pictures of the plants, and of the empty field where the harvest had been; then sent them along with some other pictures of the house and barn.

“What am I, a mass spectrometer?” Even without being able to see his face, she could feel his glare. “Fine, fine. What am I looking for?”

“I don’t know.”

“Seriously? I need something to work with, anything.”

Blade’s brows furrowed in thought as he looked over the area. Whatever it was-

“It’s likely small, like pollen or-”

“Dust?” Blade’s face scrunched in confusion before Silvewolf continued. “There’s a lot of shiny dust in the picture of the field you sent me. You must’ve caught it in the light.”

“I’ll check, thank you,” he said before disconnecting the line.

Crouching down, he could see what silverwolf meant. The soil, which had recently housed a field full of crops, was glittering like a beach. Tiny specks of something caught the sunlight and reflected back at him.

He got up and headed into the house for a container.

The house was in an almost perfect condition. He’d heard the family all fell sick and were moved into the quarantine zone, but the way the house was left was almost eerie. A tower of blocks had been knocked over, surrounded by other toys telling the story of a great battle. Plates were set out for lunch, but the food had been packed up and taken away for testing.

Blade was able to find a small disposable container and took a small sample of the dirt. Now all he had to do was figure out how to get it tested.

---

The sound of March’s camera shutter broke through the awed silence as the express crew stared up at the Skystead castle. It looked huge from where they were standing, extending up into the clouds with sections floating off of the mountain. There was no doubt it was smaller than the main palace, but its height and their perspective gave the illusion it was bigger.

“You must be the Trailblazers,” a young woman called, dragging their attention back down. “My name is Shiro.”

She waved at them as there were a few merchants and guards around on the bridge, though they were sure they would have been able to guess. Shiro was wearing a short fluffy white dress and large pointed hat with an emblem on the brim.

“Ah,” Welt extended his hand, “Kesshou told us we’d be meeting you. Did she mention why we were coming?”

Shiro shook his hand. “Briefly, she just said the Stelleron hunters were here. If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to meet Skystead’s overlord.”

She barely waited for an answer before heading off towards the castle, leaving the express crew to follow on her heels.

“We haven’t had much time to learn about your culture,” Himeko said, “what exactly is an overlord?”

“Hm, well you know the Ali function on a monarchy? The overlords are like a council of advisors, or dukes and duchesses. As you can see, Skystead’s overlord and Marina’s overlord are heading this disaster in the queen’s place.”

“The queen must trust them a lot,” Dan Heng commented as they finally passed into the castle.

“Marina is her closest neighbor, and Skystead’s overlord is a close friend. Though things were rough, Kesshou’s meeting smoothed things over.” She was quiet, and they thought she was done, but she spoke again as they began to ascend the stairs inside. “Is she okay? I would have expected her to be here.”

“She had other matters to attend to back home, you needn’t worry.”

Shiro stopped a few steps above them and eyed him wearily, but she seemed to accept the answer and continued leading them in.

“Where are we going anyway?” March asked just as she stopped at a door.

She knocked twice, and a muffled voice called for her to enter.

The door opened into a very elegant study with a projector table in the middle. A woman was pointing places out on the projected map to two guards on her right. Shiro led them to stand just inside beside the door before joining the woman on her left, setting her hat on the desk behind her.

Once the guards were dismissed she finally looked up with a kind smile.

“Honored guests, welcome to Skystead, I apologize for the disarray of both our city and the planet.” She straightened up, though she was slightly shorter than Shiro so it didn’t make much of a difference. Her dress was cream and flowy, and her hair was short, white, and curly; it gave her a very elegant aura. “My name is Sora, the Overlord of Skystead– home of the sky Ali– and Shiro’s mother.”

Shiro curtseyed this time, as if on instinct of being introduced.

Sora continued. “I was just trying to organize the search for the Stelleron hunter, you wouldn’t happen to know where he might be going, would you?”

“No, sorry.”

Her face twisted a bit, but she didn’t look upset; more like she was expecting that answer.

“Thank you, anyways, for informing us that he was here. Hopefully we can find him before he does anything. On to other matters,” she pressed some buttons and motioned for the crew to approach the table, “this… disease.”

The map lit up red in certain areas and yellow in others, while statistics of infections and deaths appeared alongside the legend. Things were worse than the palace thought. It was unsurprising that the capital and Marina were bright red, but small villages around them were starting to turn yellow and orange.

“It’s spreading?” March asked. “But I thought no one had been allowed out of the infection zones.”

“They haven’t, which means the source is likely environmental. Perhaps it came from an animal or…” Sora hesitated, and Shiro looked up at her mother curiously. “Perhaps it’s no disease at all.”

“What makes you think that?” Shiro asked. “It has all the signs of severe wing rot, does it not?”

“Not quite, and there is an illness that presents similarly. Silver poisoning.”

“Ali are allergic to silver?”

“A very specific kind of silver, it’s found deep underground. When the anti-matter legion nearly wiped out the Ali, it was in part due to this silver poisoning as we remained trapped underground. It is possible that the farmer came into contact with some and tracked it around.”

“That explains why Kesshou started feeling better,” Caelus blurted out, earning an elbow to the rib from Dan Heng as he slapped a hand over his mouth.

“What do you mean?” Shiro snapped, whipping her head around to him.

Welt and Himeko shared a silent conversation before the navigator cleared her throat.

“When we reached the temple, Lady Kesshou collapsed with symptoms similar to those we’d met in the capital. However, while on route back she started feeling better again. She and Kakeru decided to return to the capital so she could receive treatment, while we-”

Himeko didn’t get to finish as Shiro pulled out her phone and rushed out of the room.

Sora muttered a quick excuse before moving behind her desk and fiddling with her computer. The express crew were left, somewhat stunned, in the middle of the office. The overlord reached for her phone, only for it to ring out.

“I’ll have to- How did you know? From who?” Shiro stepped back into the room, a look of relief on her face that quickly morphed to match the confused look on her mother’s. Sora stared at her daughter, brows furrowed deeply. “The express crew relayed some new information that we put together to come to that conclusion. Begin treatment and sanitation immediately.”

The phone clicked as Sora set it back on its dock, then she leaned against her desk.

“Is everything alright?” Shiro asked.

“An anonymous source sent in a sample of soil from the farmer’s field, it was filled with silver. They’re going to begin flushing everyone’s systems now that they know what they're looking for, and scrubbing every surface to remove any trace of the silver.” She dropped back into her chair and sighed. “In hindsight it was obvious, wing rot isn’t contagious.”

“You couldn’t have known,” Welt assured her, “there was no reason to assume that’s what it was.”

Shiro turned to him with a frown. “You say that but, there was no reason not to, and had we considered it earlier we may have saved more lives.” She turned back to her mother. “We need to know how it got there.”

“As soon as the sick have stabilized and we can spare ressources we’ll launch an investigation.” Sora took a deep breath. “Thank you,” she addressed the express crew, “you’re welcome to remain here for as long as you like, but I’m sure Kesshou and Kakeru will be looking to see you again soon.”

---

Kesshou stared out at the lake with a sigh, checking the time on her phone again. It was approaching the twenty-four hour mark of her recovery and she still felt fine. Kakeru was lounging at her side, playing a game with his friends in other cities.

“I think it’s silver poisoning.”

Kakeru’s fingers stop dancing across his screen, quickly resulting in a game over, and he looks up at her.

“Why?”

“Because I got better once we left the capital.”

The former heir nodded along, putting his phone away and joining her to look out at the lake.

“So that’s why we stopped here. You clean off, I’ll call-”

A loud rumble cut through the tranquil air as the ground shook. Both cousins summoned their weapons and pressed their backs together. The rumbling continued at a steady volume, then a light in the distance caught their attention.

It was like the sun, pouring over the horizon, but it was thick. It blanketed the world in a heavy golden light before fading away. In the remaining faint glow there were wisps of smoke coming off both Kesshou and Kakeru.

In sync, the two reached out to pat it away from one another– laughing at themselves.

“It would seem Qlipoth heard us.”

“So it would. Let’s go home.”

---

The express crew returned to the capital the next day with Shiro, and found it much livelier than their first visit.

“Kesshou!” Shiro yelled as soon as they stepped up to the gate.

Kesshou turned away from her conversation with another young woman as Shiro broke into a sprint towards her. The three laughed as Shiro threw herself at Kesshou, who caught her and stumbled back a bit.

A few people around looked at them in amusement, clearly used to their antics.

“Friends,” Kesshou greeted the crew, looking around Shiro’s hat, “thank you for all your help. It is good to see you again.”

Kakeru and Jing Yuan exited the palace as she spoke.

“Michi,” Kakeru said, earning the attention of Kesshou’s former conversation partner, “shouldn’t you be resting?”

“A handmaid’s duty is never done when her lady is home. I’m fine, just can’t fly for a little.”

“Besides, the doctors are recommending fresh air,” Jing Yuan added, then turned to Kesshou. “Your mother and aunt are in the garden waiting, when you’re ready of course.”

She nodded, then addressed the express crew with the same information; letting them decide when to leave.

“I think we should properly introduce ourselves, no?” Himeko asked.

Kesshou stepped up to Kakeru and Jing Yuan’s side, and led the group back into the palace. Michi and Shiro followed on their heels, and the crew followed behind them.

Everything was still very cluttered, cots lined the halls and medical equipment and supply crates were packed wherever they fit, but there were less people around now. A few, sicker, people were still resting in bed but most were outside now.

With no risk of contagion, families were reunited as well. They passed a young boy reuniting with his big sister, and a father reuniting with his baby.

“So, what exactly happened?” Welt asked. “There was a bright light and then Lady Sora got a call saying people were starting to recover and they could no longer find the silver.”

Kakeru took the lead on this answer. “The silver… it’s actually remnants of a deceased Aeon. Qlipoth simply, cleared it away.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. Recovery will be slow depending on how sick people were, my mother and others like her will likely have memory issues for at least a while, but they will recover.”

“Feels a little too easy,'' Caelus said.

“You’re used to adventures ending in big battles,” Jing Yuan laughed, “but not all conflict ends in bloodshed.

They stopped in front of a large open frame looking out into the garden.

Two women were sitting under a large tree with a few gardens posted nearby. One of them looked up from her book and waved, while the other remained curled against her shoulder.

“Come,” the woman with the book said, setting it aside and reaching out to Kakeru and Kesshou. “Come sit with us.”

That seemed to wake the other woman up, as she opened her eyes and wiped the sleep from them.

Kesshou curled against her mother’s side, while Kakeru carefully leaned against his mother.

“Your highness,” Welt greeted with a bow.

“Please, call me Aoi. You’ve done so much for me, and my people, I’m forever grateful.”

She ran a hand through Kesshou’s hair, scratching her scalp.

Ayano seemed to take a moment to gather her bearings, but she instinctively wrapped an arm around her son and pulled him closer. She pressed a kiss to his forehead, making him laugh awkwardly and mutter something about there being company. Her eyes still seemed a little glassy as she rested her chin on top of his head and finally addressed the crew.

“Apologies, it seems my illness has made me rather emotional. My name is Ayano, elder sister to the queen and aunt to the heir.”

“Your children are both incredibly strong and resourceful,” Himeko said, “I’m sure you’re both very proud.”

Ayano laughed, and it almost sounded sad as she said, “he takes after his father… And Kesshou certainly takes after her mother, pushing herself when she’s sick.” She turned to her niece. “You need a break.”

“I will, after I handle business in Penacony.”

Sensing this conversation would be awhile, Shiro and Michi excused themselves to other business and the Express Crew and Jing Yuan sat down.

The mention of Penacony seemed to set Aoi a little on edge, as her wings raised slightly from the tension in her muscles. Kesshou either missed it or ignored it.

“You intend to take the family up on their invitation?”

“Yes, Kakeru has offered to join me, and the Express crew are also making their way there.”

Aoi frowned briefly, before schooling her expression. “Then why don’t I join you as well, I have some business there as well.”

“With my father?” Kesshou asked, just as Ayano gave her sister a concerned look.

“Yes. I would like to be there should you meet him.”

“You need rest,” Jing Yuan interrupted. “I can go with her if you’re worried.”

Before Aoi could respond, Kesshou rolled her eyes and made a fake gagging noise.

“Disgusting,” she laughed, making her mother and Jing Yuan flush faintly. “No need to be jealous, you’re still my favorite.”

The Express Crew’s faces twisted in confusion momentarily, then March let out a teasing oooo.

“Oh, you two are like…” Caelus trailed off before miming a kissing action and making the two blush harder.

“They think they’re so subtle,” Kakeru stage whispered. “Anyways, you need to return to the Luofu, otherwise Diviner Fu might steal your post.”

Jing Yuan seemed hesitant but conceded. “Then your next stop will be Penacony?” He asked, turning to Himeko.

“Yes, and it seems we’ll have three temporary passengers?”

Kesshou looked up at her mother, trying to gauge her wellness before shrugging. “If mother says she’s alright there’s no stopping her, besides, I’m sure the Charmony festival will be fairly secure.”

“You’re going to jinx it,” Kakeru teased.

“Then we’ll leave tomorrow,” Welt announced. “We probably shouldn’t keep the Watchmaker and the Family waiting any longer than we have.”

“Vacation time,” Caelus cheered.

“Shhh, you’ll jinx it,” March whined.

“We’ll meet you aboard the express then,” Aoi laughed. “Now if you'll excuse me, I missed my daughter.”

“Mooothhhheer.”

---

The sky was cloudy, making it incredibly dark.

Ayano was back in her own room finally, much to Aoi’s concern but Jing Yuan had insisted that he could stop by if it would make her feel better. She had a feeling he wasn’t going to though.

She sat by her window, looking out at the dark sky, when the soft creaking of her door filled the room.

The sound of boots against her carpet slowly grew louder as a presence approached from behind.

“He’s so much like you… strong, resilient… you would be proud,” she said, not turning around.

“I am,” a gruff voice said as he placed a calloused and scarred hand on her shoulder. He began to rub gentle arcs on her bare skin. “I will always be proud of him, and you… You’ve raised him well.”

Ayano placed her hand over his and turned to kiss it.

“You did too,” she whispers. “He may not remember your face, but he remembers you.”

“He remembers he’s afraid of me.”

“If he were truly afraid he would not be looking for you like he is.”

Ayano started to turn around but stopped herself, settling back to look outside. She let her eyes wander to the faint reflection of his eyes in the glass, cursing the dark night.

“Why won’t you look at me?” Blade asked, sliding his hand up the side of her neck and face to brush her hair back behind her ear.

“Because if I look at you I might not be able to let you leave.”

[oliviridian]

I find doing little journaling exercises on tumblr helpful because very few people read it but knowing someone has the capacity to read it makes it easier for me to write. I’ve spent a lot of time not being seen or being seen incorrectly or being told to take up less space and any time I want to take up space, I feel guilty about it. Here’s a small place where it doesn’t really matter what I say as much, it’s a little more distant. I’ve been simmering on some thoughts and I think getting them out of me will help. Two vignettes, not really related.

i.

I think being a trans woman is a little bit like belonging to a breed of “aggressive dog”. There are people who swear up and down they love us, that we’re uniquely wonderful in our own ways and that there’s a mountain of misinformation about us. They show you videos of their pit bull sitting on their lap, desperate and anxiously attached to a person they love and are so dedicated to. They show their pit bull gentle and soft with a baby, a cat, something small and dainty. I feel sometimes like that boxy headed, muscular, square dog that keeps you out of nice apartments. But I love pit bulls. I always have.

ii.

I have been losing a lot of things to memory lately and I am trying to reach my hands into the pool and drag a few things out. Exposure therapy. When I feel the discomfort of connection with the people who aren’t with me anymore I greet them like old friends instead of recoiling. It is a practice. I am not always good at it. Today was a hard one. I woke up feeling a little lonely and slow to get out of bed. I put on a playlist and climb into the shower, I begin to shave my legs. A song that I used to think belonged to the dead starts to play. I nick my leg but instead of rushing to silence it, I listen. What harm can come of listening to a song I’ve heard hundreds of times?

It is an elegy now, I realize I have never really listened to the words.

You were the only one I fancied you all I had left We knew it was true and instinctively left one another to mend our own holes in our chests in a dream we were pieces of ships we were attached from our feet to our hips and forgetting that icebergs were only the tips as we crashed I could read the relief on your lips

You never loved me the way I loved you because you couldn’t bear to be attached to anyone. You didn’t like what I was, who I was. You hoped I would be someone different. I hoped you would love me someday and I let you hurt me because I thought that hope was love. It’s so much easier without you. I feel so much more confident. I missed you a lot but when I look at my life without you all I feel is relief. But, this is a beautiful song and I grew in my time with you. You might have hurt me, might have made me feel so small and so awful but I became better while you didn’t really love me. I like who I am better after you than before you. I suppose I should thank you for that.

and our lives blended better than our bodies ever could in the days when we were made out of flesh or wood yeah we weren’t the same color though we knew that we could be we were ourselves but blended at the edges like it should be and now separated your color now shines on my sleeve with my parents, favorite teacher, first ever pen pal and me and the more that we share i guess the more that we grow and we all became tiny rainbows

I am trying not to strangle my happiness where it lays in it’s crib. I am trying to water it just enough. I am watching myself bloom with care and love from my friends, my family, new connections and old. I have more without you than I had with you. Letting you go let me bloom. We were never blended at the edges but I’m stained with some of your color. That’s okay, I like yellow. It’s an accent in a portrait I’m painting. You’re not a part of it and it’s better that way. I’m going to be myself and I’m not going to let anyone tell me to quiet it all ever again.

[perpetuallyangerygoatmom]

More women should tell their stories of abuse. More people should tell their stories of abuse in general but I feel like (and this could also just be the red county I live in) the cultural backlash against Me Too is just like any time a woman wants to talk about her abuse at the hands of a man she has to make it clear that “not all men” are like that. Like fuck that. Obviously. When I say, “oh it is raining today” I don’t have to say “but it doesn’t rain EVERYday” because that’s stupid. Obviously not every single man in the world is the same. No two people are ever the same let alone billions of them.

My daughter’s father abused me. He physically assaulted me multiple times throughout the course of our relationship, some of those times while I was holding our child. And now that he’s been removed from the home he wants me to drop the baby off at his parents so he can visit her and not have to see me? Are you fucking insane? Don’t answer that I know you are. That’s just…I cannot believe that he genuinely doesn’t understand this. You are violent. We are not splitting up because of mutual differences; you are PHYSICALLY VIOLENT. What about that do you not fucking understand. I will NEVER let you be in a room with our daughter without me, at least not until she’s an adult and can choose to have whatever relationship with you that she wants. And even then you better believe I will constantly check in with her if she visits you because you can NEVER undo the damage you did and the trauma you’ve given me and I will NEVER feel safe around you and I will NEVER let our daughter experience that and I will NEVER forgive you. Is that clear? I will have to be DEAD or in JAIL for you to be alone with her. On top of that you’re a fucking sex offender. You had a relationship with a 15 year old girl when you were 24. Youre in your 30’s and your last 3 relationships were with women ages 19-23. Rationalize it to yourself all you want, try to pretend you’re not what you are. And then remember that you’re 12 years older than your daughter’s mother. You DISGUST me. I was so very desperate for attention that I willingly ignored every red flag and for that I am truly regretful but hear me when I say that I am not the stupid 19 year old I once was. I am not stuck in that cycle of abuse. I am not trapped like a bird in a cage. I am free, my baby will be free from you. I will not, I absolutely REFUSE to let our daughter see you treat me like that. I will not let you treat HER like that. You are a vile disgusting human being. An asshole, a racist, a misogynist, just an all around bigot, and a god damn pervert. Fuck you. Fuck you so very fucking much. I wish you were never fucking born. You have put so much badness into the world. You’re fucking awful. There are no words in the English or any other language to truly convey how much I hate you.

And if you think this isn’t going to go to court, if you think I’m not going to fight tooth and nail for full custody, then you are sorely fucking mistaken. I’m not bitter. If you want to see her you can, so long as I am right there watching. And if you aren’t willing to put up with that. If you feel so threatened by my presence because no girl you’ve ever groomed like this has defied you before, and if that keeps you from seeing your daughter, your own pride, then that is not my fault. I love her more than this whole world and everything in it and I would cross oceans and scale mountains and idk fucking bite into 10 fucking habaneros at once if it meant spending time with her. I wish so deeply that you loved her like that, that you loved ME like that. I know the pain of not having a father, of knowing that the person who helped bring you into this world, your own flesh and blood, couldn’t care less about you. It stings, and I am so so mad at myself for having a child with you and letting them experience that pain. But it stings a lot worse to watch someone who SAYS they love you display evidently that they don’t. To beat your mom, to spit venomous words at her. I know that pain too. And that one is far worse. Our daughter has SOOOOOO many people that love her, and if you can’t give her that love she might feel the sting, but it will not break her.

Anyways I’m looking into getting a lawyer and listening to Not Like Us a lot. Also the new 21 pilots album. Really fucking good, on my 3rd listen. Also binging welcome to nightvale again. Top tier.

My grandma is in the hospital, if you pray please pray for her. If you don’t please just send her some positive love into the universe. She’s so so very strong, beat cancer but it took its toll greatly. Lately she just seems to have given up hope. I get it, I truly understand, but I need her so much. My daughter needs her. She’s only 62, this is not her time to go. Keep fighting grandma I love you so very much. You are the strongest woman I know, you’ve been through so very much, and you will get through this too. God will hold your hand and show you that there is still so much here for you.

So so much shit in my brain lately. Baby had her 6 month checkup today and she’s doing great! Showing off for the doctor like she usually does. She was playing with her stethoscope. I never thought I would have kids; I always thought if I ever happened to get pregnant it wouldn’t even be a question I would just GET an abortion. But when it happens to you (maybe not for all people but at least for me) it just feels different. Nothing could ever prepare me for the experience of having to choose whether or not I wanted to keep the baby. But somehow I just knew. I didn’t know but I knew that if I had one I would regret it forever. Or maybe I wouldn’t have but I certainly would not know the immense joy I do by having her in my life. Nothing will ever come before her. She is truly the best thing in my entire life. I have never known a love like this nor do I think I ever will outside of her. It’s honestly scary how fast life can change so dramatically. I’ll also never forget the feeling I had when they told me I was going to have to have a C section RIGHT at that moment. Her umbilical cord was wrapped, I wasnt even anywhere close to labor, not dilated AT ALL. I was only there for a checkup. I was full term but nowhere near birth. I was honestly starting to get annoyed at how long the doctor was taking to come see me, wondering when I would get to go home, feeling bad for my mom who had driven me there. And then suddenly that was that and they told me I was going to be a mother within the hour. I cried so much. Because I’ve never had surgery before that but mostly because…I wasn’t ready. Suddenly you’re hit with the realization that you’re about to hold a brand new life and you’re 19 years old and you have no earthly idea how to take care of a baby in any way and you’ve read books and had conversations but none of it has felt real, none of it could prepare you to meet them. And then you do. And it’s terrifying and beautiful but mostly so so very…weird. And then you realize that you are capable of so much more than you ever thought you were. You can care for a baby by yourself in the hospital when your partner refuses to be there with you because they’re “busy”. You can get used to the wonderful warmth of them in your arms and their cute tiny nose and surprisingly strong grip and you will stumble as you find your footing as a parent but you can do so so much more than you ever dreamed. And it is amazing. And you love them so much, you wonder if they will ever know how they saved your life, how they gave you a reason to live, how your life feels like it only just started when they were born, how you love them in vast immeasurable amounts. You endeavor to show them. And sometimes you get frustrated and then guilty for feeling that way. You remember as much as you love them you are still a human.

Jesus man I need to finish the dishes but I feel a little lighter now

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Tuning In For Jesus Wisdom

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

=========================

+ John 1:4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.

=========================

VERSE OF THE DAY

========================

+Mark 4:34 “He did not say anything to them without using a parable. But when he was alone with his own disciples, he explained everything.”

=========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM TUNING INTO WISDOM

I AM WAITING ON GOD

I AM A DISCIPLE OF CHRIST

I AM YIELDING TO HIM

********************************

THOUGHTS:

=======================

When we are alone, and we are studying, the Holy Spirit will reveal to us everything we need to know, that’s about our life, about a particular verse we are studying, and maybe his will. However, when we are alone, we are left with our thoughts we are left with our own emotions. We can figure things out; usually, when I’m alone, I can sort out how I am feeling, I can sort out situations that have come my way, and I give them to God, and I allow him to speak to me while I am waiting in his presence.

In today's verse, we will see Jesus let them know everything once they were alone; he explained things he couldn’t do in front of others. It says this: “He did not say anything to them without using a parable. But when he was alone with his own disciples, he explained everything.”

He explains everything to them, whatever parable, whatever is happening, he explains so they will never be in the dark, and Jesus says this to them that very thing “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” This isn’t for just them then, but also this is for us today that when we follow him, we won’t be in the dark, that we will walk in the light, we will know more than most, and we will see more than most because our eyes are open to everything!

Walking in the light of God gives us the freedom to see into different realms; see into his will; he will allow us to know more because we are his! One day, Jesus says, “John 15:15, I no longer call you slaves because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends since I have told you everything the Father told me.”

See, Jesus is telling us that we are his friends and he will tell us everything, but as long as we are slaves to our flesh, how will he be able to confide in us about anything if our mind isn’t on him if our mind isn’t on staying in the light! Why would he tell us anything? God called Moses on the mountain eight times, and each time he wanted to confide into him ,spend time with him. When Moses was there, it was just God and Moses; God is calling us today to come to him to hear him speak, but we won’t; we are too busy entertaining the flesh and our own morals and values instead of applying what we learn in the word.

Daniel 2:47 The king answered Daniel and said, “Surely your God is a God of gods and a Lord of kings and a revealer of mysteries since you have been able to reveal this mystery

See, it says here God is revealer of mysteries, and he reveals what Daniel needed to know because Daniel was a man who also sought God! He was a man that prayed every day to him because he wanted to remain close! Do you desire to know the secrets to know more of the word to be poured into more and overflow? If so we must spend time with him, get alone and pray, get alone and mediate, get alone and wait on the lord!

***Today, the Holy Spirit is calling us to start taking time alone and start allowing him to heal us; a lot of us need healing, a lot of us need him to come in and show us why we are here, some of us need purpose, do you believe that we all have a purpose? Do you believe that when we surrender to him, our true purpose comes through, or our true self starts to shine through because we surrender to him?

We just don’t surrender our romantic life or our work life , but every part of ourselves we must give unto him so he can pull us to the side and share something we have been missing this whole time. Make time so that He may share with you today ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

========================

PRAYER

========================

Heavenly Father we thank you for everything , we ask you to forgive us of our sins , help us to stay focus on you and to make time with you ! Father God we know that you are a healer and helper and we know that we can trust in you to heal us of our wounds and save us from the things we are struggling with , father we ask you to take our situations and problems and guide us . Lord we ask you to teach us what we should know and we will listen, help us to apply this to our daily life . We want to know you and your mysteries, we yield ourselves to you in Jesus Name Amen

========================

REFERENCES

========================

+ Hebrews 6:1 Therefore let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God,

+ Ephesians 5:15-16 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil

+Matthew 13:11 Jesus answered them, “To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been granted.

========================

FURTHER READINGS

=========================

Deuteronomy 18:1-20:20

Luke 9:28-50

Psalm 73:1-28

Proverbs 12:10

=========================

[therehereeverywhere]

Jakarta.

After 4 long years.

I am now part of the esteemed division in my company, where the self-proclaimed “the smartest” people are. It doesn’t make sense at all if you ask me. I guess I have always been a social science kind of person, only didn’t know how what exactly that is before my master. My biggest takeaway from my master is the profound love of development econ that I found there, a whole world of wonder that quench my thirst.

I have always thought economics is too cold, too unfeeling. It talks about efficiency and market allocation as if it’s not affecting real human, who are suffering in the name of efficiency. The invisible hand who suspiciously favours those who could give more to it, well, to be fair, it is called the invisible hand, not the just hand. I’m so fed up with people glorifying models, as if it holds the answer to all social questions, which I can tell you 100000%, it doesn’t.

So being part of crème de la crème in this very distinguish institutions doesn’t bring joy to me, at all. I find it lacks the stimulating discussions, and a lot more backstabbing and office politic intricacy, which I detest to the core of my cell. The work I did here is not even half of what I had to do back in my previous dept or Bali, but the people, oh God, the people.

I keep telling everyone I don’t belong here, and they brought out the fact that I graduated from the top 3 econ school in the world, of course I belong here. But see, Hercules did all the tasks given to him, and he was granted the status of demigod. But eventually (at least in the Disney version), he realized he doesn’t belong in Olympus, his realm is down in the foot of the mountain. The same is true for me. Just because one is capable or deserving, doesn't mean one belongs.

I was also, absolutely horrified when the head of my division suggested months ago for us to do a charity as part of the social outreach. That’s when he said, let’s find the poorest, most broken down orphanage so that it would be good for us. Like, WTF?

Why does gratefulness have to be a zero-sum game, where in order for one to be grateful the other must suffer? Why can’t we feel grateful for the sake of gratefulness itself?

Don’t even let me start on the whatever blueprints I am working on. Blueprints for digitalisation in payment system: for an inclusive future. But nowhere in that blueprint talks about those at the bottom 40%, who couldn’t even afford to save, let alone purchasing a phone. Their cognitive ability is so overwhelmed by the various problems they need to solve, limiting them to see beyond today. When I raised this issue, the answer is that well, it would be inclusive for those already fit the basic assumption but still not benefiting from them. I laughed. How dare we say an “inclusive” future when our definition of inclusive itself is already exclusive?

If there in one thing that I could say I detest the most, it’s hypocrisy. And now I become part of the machine. What a world. 

[honeybent]

15.11.2022

Sometimes I am so in love that it hurts. Why is it that life becomes infinitely more difficult when you stop lying to yourself?

Realistically, I should be happy. I just got a college degree. I’m moving out soon and moving in with my best friend. I’ve achieved a lot. But... I’m not. I feel empty. I feel unlovable. 

I’m in love with people I should never have. I am in love with people who don’t want me back, who could never want me back. I am in love with who I used to be, even though I was mean and insufferable. Sometimes I wish I could rewind to the point right after high school stopped, when I still had hope. Before I started drinking and embarrassing myself. Before I realised I was gayer than I had initially thought and life got so much harder because of that. I wish I never uncovered the mountain of hurt that loving women is. Mommy issues, I guess.

Somehow, being sad felt better when I was thinner. People looked at me and I was a blank canvas, they couldn’t tell why I was sad, but being the weight I am right now, it feels like they look at me and assume that’s why I’m miserable. In truth, it’s so, so much more than that.

I am sad because I feel unwanted. I am sad because I’ve relapsed with my purging, I can’t eat anything anymore without wanting to get rid of it all. I’m sad because I’m fighting this SH relapse instead of just giving in and it hurts it hurts it hurts, I just want to do it, I know it’d make me feel better, like my feelings exist outside of my body too. I’m sad because I’m beginning to depend on alprazolam again, except now I’m technically an adult and I have to drive places. Today, on the road, I felt it clouding my mind.

There is only one thing that can save me right now. One comfortable, thick, heavy dark sweater that will wrap itself around me like it has so many times before: anorexia. Nothing else can help me. Nothing else matters. She’s all I have left.

So I’m back to blogging, because the other night I announced a break from my personal social media, and I still have so much to get out. Dear lord I’m tired. I can feel my body aching to be a sack of bones again.

It’ll happen, baby. I’ll get myself right again.

[likeastarstar]

Birthday Boy

summary: WARNING! smut ahead. It's Namu's birthday and you're in love with him and his body and how it looks in the shower.

masterlist.

Your boyfriend was a menace.

Seriously, who wakes up at the ass crack of dawn to workout on their birthday of all days? Wasn't anything sacred? Surely his birthday, the day that should be considered an international holiday, was a good enough excuse for a cheat day.

But no, Joon had left you so early you were only just waking up as he returned back the apartment you shared after exercising. You laid in bed, half asleep, watching as your boyfriend immediately shoved his socks off, the sleeveless compression shirt he had on following quickly after. He couldn't even be bothered to wait until he was in the bathroom to strip down, pushing his gym shorts off his hips along with his underwear already balled up in his fists by the time he was halfway across the bedroom.

He took note of your laying form but because of the massive amounts of pillows you insisted on having, he couldn't tell you were awake and currently ogling his extremely perfect, extremely buff, super sexy, oh wow he is gorgeous, body. Maybe him going to the gym was a blessing, maybe you should be more grateful. You were certainly grateful when he turned towards the bathroom and you got to stare at his ass.

Namjoon had the most perfect body in the world, broad, rolling shoulders, his thick neck perfect for biting down on, his soft pecs that you liked to lay on despite the aforementioned mountain of pillows on your bed, the chiseled abs rubbing down the length of his torso and disappearing with two lines dragging directly into the neatly trimmed dark hair of his lap.

His thick thighs you insisted on sitting on far too often, his thighs that you had a habit of rubbing absentmindedly underneath restaurant tables when you went out until he forced you to stop- citing the risk of him popping a semi before dessert. You loved his back, muscular and strong, his arms as equally as pleasing when they were wrapped around you. You had recently become somewhat of a masseuse, gleefully running to get the massage oil when Namjoon came home sore from the gym.

It was the little things.

He was perfect- an adonis among men and that's before you even got to who he was as a person- which was also, shockingly perfect. The kindest, most wise person you had ever known. You loved his big brain as much as his big body and it was your favorite person's birthday today.

His birthday!

You sat up with an excited squeal, running to follow Namjoon as you heard the shower start. He was already in the shower by the time you had stripped off your pajamas, back facing you as he washed the sweat off of himself. You stepped into the steaming shower quickly, wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging him from behind.

"Happy birthday," You smiled, kissing his back where your face was pressed against it. His hands covered yours and squeezed in response before turning around in your arms so that he was facing you with his own shy smile, dimples on full display.

"Thank you, good morning." He said softly, leaning down to kiss you. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

You shook you head and reached for the environmentally friendly sea sponge covered in soap in his hand, squeezing it against his chest and watching the suds drip down his skin before rubbing the sponge on him thoroughly, "I had to get up anyway, it's a big day, lots to do."

"You always take my birthday too seriously," He laughed, squeezing a puddle of the shampoo he liked the smell of on top of your head and massaging it into your scalp.

"I observe the auspicious day the way it's meant to be honored, yes." You noted formally, nodding your head solemnly under his hands.

He laughed and rinsed your hair, rubbing conditioner in the ends before wrapping the length of your hair around his hands and pulling, causing your neck to crane up towards his face. He looked down at you with a devious look on his face, the steam in the shower surrounding the pair of you like a cloud.

"It's my dick's birthday too, you know." He joked, smirking slightly.

You raised your eyebrows and flickered a glance towards where his legs met, noting that he was already beginning to get hard, "I did know that."

"And you should celebrate it too, do something special." He mused, raising his eyebrows in a sort of a dare.

"Oh? Like what?" You challenged, standing on your toes to kiss him. He kissed you possessively, roughly, with his hand still wrapped around your hair so you couldn't really move much.

Namjoon slid his tongue against yours and you let your hands glide down his wet torso, wrapping your fingers around his cock and stroking it slowly. You matched the pace of his tongue against yours, body rolling against his rhythmically. There was barely an inch of space between you and even that was too much.

Namjoon let go of your hair in favor for wrapping his grasp around your neck, guiding you to the glass wall and spinning you around so quickly you let out a gasp of surprise. He reached a hand back and angled the shower head so that it was hitting the top of your back and rolling down, the pressure sending tingles down your spine.

Namjoon's body came up behind yours, pushing his front into your ass and kissing your neck, "You're gonna give me what I want for my birthday, right? I can ask for anything and you'd do it for me, because it's my birthday and you love me?"

"Right, yeah- anything," You breathed out, a moan sitting on the tip of your tongue.

"Good," He grunted, "Now look at yourself."

Your eyes snapped to the mirror on the other side of the bathroom in front of the sink, the reflection of you and Namjoon in the shower staring back at you. The glass had fogged up and the only thing really visible was your tits pressed up against the glass, the palm of Namjoon's hand flattened on the surface of the glass pane above you, caging you in. You moaned at the sight- wondering what you looked like from the back, bent over like a slut.

"I love my birthday," Namjoon laughed, "You get so horny- which is saying something because you're always a slut for your boyfriend. You like making me happy?"

"I like- I like being slutty for you," You moaned, "I like being yours."

"I like being yours too, baby." He grinned, pecking you on the cheek sweetly before kissing down the length of your back. He bit down on your ass cheek like it was an apple, making you moan out embarrassingly.

"Fuck- Joon, it's your birthday, shouldn't I be the one on my knees?" You pointed out, looking down at him from behind your shoulder. He didn't even look up at you, staring instead straight at your pussy, spreading your legs apart gently and watching the water drip down between them.

"No, it's my birthday- I'll eat you out if I want to," He demanded petulantly, "Your pussy is better than a birthday cake anyway."

"Bitch, I got you a cake from Honeybee," You snapped, breaking your horny character for a moment.

Namjoon paused as well, sitting back on his heels and looked up at you with a surprised look on his face. It was a good thing the water wasn't angled at him, otherwise you were pretty sure he would've drowned by now.

"Oh, the chocolate one or the passion fruit one?" He asked eagerly, a hopeful look on his face.

"Chocolate, duh- who do you think I am? I only got the passion fruit cake that one time because I wanted to try it." You grumbled, pouting slightly.

"My girl is so smart, good choice. See? You deserve to get head for that, my sweet little girlfriend got me my favorite cake," Joon gushed, squeezing your ass fondly before licking a broad stripe through your folds and making you forget all about the stupid cake.

He sucked your clit into his mouth and wrapped his tongue around it, pushing the sensitive spot around with a mission while two of his fingers ran through your folds and sunk into your pussy decisively. You moaned, feeling him pump his fingers in and out furiously. You clenched around them, wondering why the hell he was going to fast until he switched his fingers and his mouth, tongue dipping into your honeyed center while his fingers flicked at your clit roughly.

You withered above him, barely able to keep your weight up until you felt an orgasm barreling towards you- "No, no, no, Joon- I'm gonna cum, it's too fast."

"No, it's not," He snapped, words vibrating against your clit as his breath against your skin only sent you closer to the edge. "Birthday boy wants his slut to cum."

His words were the final push you needed, cumming around his tongue in waves of pleasure as his fingers ran circles around you clit, milking your orgasm of everything it was worth. You lost the ability to think for a moment, the air leaving your lungs, and you barely had a chance to catch your breath before Joon was standing behind you, one hand gripped on your hip as he slid his cock into you, thrusting up sharply. You let out a surprised noise that contrasted his low moan in your ear, thankful for the sound of water hiding the sound of how wet you were.

"Come on baby, show me how much you love me," He demanded, slapping a large hand down on the side of your ass hard.

He thrust up into you at a bruising pace, using your body for his own pleasure as you did your best to keep up. Namjoon kept one hand on your clit and wrapped his other arm across your body, pulling you taunt against his chest as his hips snapped against yours. You were barely even standing up on your own, Namjoon holding your body so securely you could probably relax completely and he'd just carry you.

"Cum in me," You begged, slamming a hand against the glass wall to throw your ass back on him better, matching his thrusts now that you had a moment to gather your bearings. "Pl-please, will you please fill me up? Fuck- your dick is so big."

"Yeah baby? Feels good?" He asked, sounding all too pleased with himself.

"F-Feels so good- I want you to fill me up, please?" You stuttered, a pathetic noise leaving your body.

You were desperate for him at this point, reduced to a dumb, messy, whiny slut who just wanted her boyfriend to cum in her pussy.

"Don't worry, I'll give it to you- since you asked so nicely." He obliged, slamming his cock into your pussy like he owned it. "Fill you up nice and full so you can spend the rest of the day thinking about it. Maybe I'll let you suck my cock later if you want more, huh?"

"Y-yes, I want it." You moaned, "I want your cock."

He groaned and his thrusts got sloppier, faster still. He pinched your nipple hard, doing the same to your clit and you came again, clenching hard around him before he followed, the two of you slowing the pace down almost completely. He rocked against you, dragging his cock in and out of you slowly as you felt him cum in you, warmth spreading through your lower belly. Your pussy continued to suck him in, wanting to keep him there for as long as possible before he pulled out and watched his cum drip down your thighs, dragging a finger through it.

He held his hand up to your tongue absentmindedly, trying to resume washing your body with the other as you sucked his cum off of his hand.

"We gotta hurry," He mumbled, trying to speed wash you as if he hadn't just demolished your pussy. You were sensitive and moving slowly, spent from the morning activities. "We've been in here for so long, what a waste of water- why did we do this?"

"Because it's your birthday?" You offered lamely, watching as he turned the water off and lifted you into his arms, carrying you out of the shower.

"You shouldn't encourage me," He tssked, "I let the birthday shit get to my head. Horny or not, one should never waste water."

You rolled your eyes, laughing slightly at Joon's strictness with himself. He set you down on the edge of the vanity and handed you a towel, wrapping one around his waist securely.

"This is your fault for showering, we could've just had morning sex in bed like a normal couple but no- you have to leave me every morning to go to the gym." You pointed out.

"I go to the gym to fuck you better, you should be thanking me." He grunted, leaning against the countertop and kissing you again. "Maybe you could suck my cock before dinner to make it up to me."

"God, the birthday thing did get to your head," You gasped, shaking your head dramatically.

"So no head?" He pouted, an adorably wide eyed look on his face.

"Oh, head for sure." You corrected, nodding eagerly.

It was his birthday, after all.

(A/N: I have created...a monster.)

[theshelbyclan]

Castle in the Sky

Summary: You’re the daydreaming sibling of the Shelby’s, but when the adventure spills over into real life, it’s not as great as you’d imagined

(Gif by @nofckingfighting​) A/N: A sweet anon requested: can I have request please Something like this Tommy was very protective over y/n and she gets hurt by one of the bad guys and sees blood on her face now all bruised but Tommy wants revenge Omg if you do so thank you so much for my request! ❤️ Huge fan of your works!This is set around season 1, back in the good old days when the only real enemy was Billy Kimber, remember those days? So easy… anyways, hope you like it J Words: 2933 ***

You were only nine when you started as a bookie’s runner for the Peaky Blinders. Nothing about this was special, half the kids of Small Heath worked for them, but there was just one difference: the Shelby’s were your brothers. It was a good job in many ways, because it meant not only being able to help your brothers, but people were inclined to give you a bit extra, just for being a Shelby. You imagined they thought it good luck.

“Y/N, take this to the other side of town, will you?” Tommy requested as he sat hunched over a newspaper. You protested a little, “Why me? I’ve done all of mine for today…” “This one’s extra, alright?” “Who is it?” you could never hide your inquisitive nature. But you only showed it around your brothers; to the rest of the world you were just quiet and practically invisible. He smirked slightly, “Someone who’ll pay up big. That’s why I need you to do it. Can’t trust any of the other kids not to steal…” “I have some homework to do, Tommy.” At thirteen, you were still at school, which was a minor miracle in Birmingham. “Tell you what: if you just do this one job, I’ll get you magazine you’ve been talking about, eh?” now he looked up and met your eyes. “Book, Tommy,” you smiled, “You might have heard of the concept? It’s a little like a magazine, a little like that newspaper, but with more pages? Some find it challenging, but once you get used to it…” “Alright, little miss know-it-all,” he grumbled without malice, “Go on, take the slip, make sure he bets all. Off with you. Stop outsmarting your old brother, eh?” He winked to make sure you were comfortable and you returned it with a big grin. “Where?” “Digbeth,” Tommy’s nose was back in the newspaper, “behind the Golden Dragon.” ***

As you were walking through the streets of Small Heath on your way to Digbeth, you were daydreaming. In a way it was strange just how different you were from your brothers, because the entire Shelby clan was very realistic, trying to make their way in this hard world, where you would rather pretend all day you were the main character in some story. The books you read, it was all an escape to you. So while you were walking, the people and factories disappeared. In your head, you were walking through the woods, on a secret mission that your king gave you. With the top-priority letter in your pocket, you remembered what he’d told you before you left: “If you get caught, eat the letter. If they capture you, make sure to be brave and never divulge its contents to anyone. And if all else fails, you must make the ultimate sacrifice. But remember, you have to memorize the contents of the letter first…” Wouldn’t it just be easier to memorize it now and destroy the letter immediately? You pondered on the matter… In the distance, you could see the mountains and the towers of another kingdom, and you knew your enemies were near. Without anyone noticing, you put a hand to your pocket and could feel the reassuring rustling of paper underneath your fingers: the letter was still there. If it would come to a fight, how would you go about it? If there were just one man, the small dagger in your boots would suffice. If it were two, you’d distract one, maybe by throwing the veil you were wearing, quickly turning around to kill the other and then back to the first one before he had time to recover. If there were more than three, you’d run, because you were the fastest after all. You’d get to higher ground and attack them from there, like a deadly shadow they could never see coming. As you smiled to yourself, you left the daydream for a short moment. You looked down and saw the muddy shoes you were wearing, marching through Birmingham mud. In the distance, all you saw was smoke and factory pipes. But it was honestly all you needed: your imagination did the rest. The real world barged in when you delivered the slip in Digbeth. Everything went smoothly at first. Your big brown eyes persuaded him to indeed bet big, and you were quite satisfied with yourself, knowing Tommy would be too. But you still had to walk back with a lot of money now in your pocket.

*** Almost home, there were only a few streets to go. Your head was back in the clouds and this time you were imagining you were a spy during the war. Silently, you moved through the streets, making yourself invisible and pretending every man wearing a hat was the enemy. So each time you saw one, you changed directions or hid for a second. It was a fun game, until you realised the enemy wasn’t wearing a hat. “Now, what’s a pretty girl like you doing on the streets, all by herself?” A man with a heavy Cockney accent popped up next to you and your heart nearly jumped out of your chest. You opened your mouth to reply, but no words came out. In your dreams, you always knew what to say, but in reality it wasn’t so easy. The man approached you and you noticed he’d cut you off from your one exit out of the alley, “It’s Y/N Shelby, isn’t it,” he grinned. “No,” you managed to say, “you got the wrong girl.” He grinned again, “Nice try, sweetheart. We’ve seen you at the Garrison. They don’t allow little girls at the pub, unless they’re a Shelby.” This was all true. You felt your hands getting clammy. “Tommy sent you, didn’t he?” Again, you tried to remember what the hero in your stories would do. She’d run, climb the building and then throw a knife right between the eyes of the man. Or she’d say something clever, just to distract him, and then turn around and escape when he least expected it. He took another few steps forward and you could smell him now, a smell of strange smoke and the river, “Do you know who I am?” Nailed to the ground, you shook your head. “I work for Mr. Billy Kimber. Ever heard of him?” You turned to see if you could escape, but then realised the other side of the alley was blocked by two more men. Neither of them were wearing hats. Cold sweat of fear ran down your back. The man in front of you started laughing, “There’s no running, sweetheart. Just give it to me.” At once you realised he was referring to the money in your pocket, but for Tommy’s sake, you wanted at least to try to be brave, “I don’t have anything.” He sighed, “Don’t play with me. I’m not the kind of man to play with, and neither is Mr. Kimber,” his voice was suddenly low and menacing, “Your brother thought he could, thought he would get away with fixing a race, he did, and now he’s going to be put against the post and shot. Don’t think I won’t do the same to you.” You gulped, but still thought of Tommy’s disappointment in you when he would find out you’d been a coward. So you took a deep breath and said softly, “It’s not yours. This money is ours. You can tell Mr. Kimber to go fuck himself!” It didn’t come out as strongly as you’d hoped. Like a crack of thunder, he swiftly slapped you across the face with the back of his hand. All the air was knocked out of your lungs in a second and you stood gasping for air, as you felt some blood trickling down your chin. “Give me the money,” he demanded again. And then, like your heroes, you pretended to reach for it in your pocket. Suddenly, you turned around and started running into the other direction, hoping to slip past the two men before they could stop you. But it didn’t work. One grabbed your arm and when you tried to push him away, he punched you hard. All strength left you in an instant. The second one started fumbling in your pockets and instinctively you kicked him, which earned you another blow to the head. More punches followed and your head was spinning. As you looked up to the sky, you remembered wanting to get back home, to your castle, where all was well and safe.  In the end, they left you on the ground and the money was gone. Your last thought was: Tommy is going to be so embarrassed. 

*** “Y/N?” You opened your eyes, but couldn’t see for a moment. “Y/N,” the familiar voice repeated, “Come on, yes, let’s get you home. Polly, Polly will know what to do, yes…” Strong arms lifted you up and rocking with his familiar limp, Curly carried you back to Watery Lane. When he’d taken you into the kitchen, Aunt Polly flew to your side in seconds, asking, “What’s happened?” Uncertainly, Curly explained and as he did, he started to become upset over your state. That’s when Tommy came in and started to calm him, while keeping an eye on you all the time. “Sweetheart,” Aunt Polly had taken a cold cloth to the cut in your lip, “Wake up… Come back to us…” Again you tried opening you eyes and you finally managed this time. But all your concern was with Curly, who was still anxiously fidgeting with his cap in hand. “Don’t worry, Curly,” you croaked, “I’m alright now. You did good, carrying me here.” “Polly will know what to do…” he kept on repeating. Tommy put a hand on his shoulder and it had an immediate calming effect, “It’s alright, Curly, go back to Charlie, eh? We’ll take care of her now.” Before he left, you said to him, “Curly? I’ll stop by tomorrow, see about that beautiful horse of yours, alright?” That put an immediate smile on his face, “Yes, she’s a beauty, alright… And she needs her princess to ride her! Back to that castle in the sky…yes…” When he’d gone, you lowered your head again and sighed deeply. Carefully, you felt your face and only then realised how awful you must look. “Who did this,” Tommy demanded at once. Polly glared daggers at him, “You did, I presume?” “Me?” “I told you again and again not to use the little ones to run errands. Sending them across half of Birmingham with money in their pockets, and look what happens!” For a moment, Tommy seemed to be speechless. Then he protested, “They’re invisible, Pol. Nobody knows they’re carrying anything.” “This one did,” you interjected, “because he knew who I was.” “How?” “Said he was with Kimber,” you whispered as the memories came back to you, “said he’d put me up against a post and he’d shoot me, like he’d do with you…” In a sudden fit of rage, Tommy grabbed a chair and flung it across the room. Polly snarled at the gesture and then turned to you, “Stay here. This cloth is cold, keep it against your eye, or it’ll turn black in half an hour, and I can’t take you to church looking like that. I just need to have a word with your brother.” You took the cloth and didn’t dare to look at Tommy, who was now being taken away by his aunt like he was ten years old again and in trouble. Aunt Polly closed the door behind her, but you still tried to hear as much as you could. Most of it was lost, but when they started shouting you heard bits like “putting your little sister in danger!” and “this is Billy fucking Kimber, Thomas” and “family first”. At first Tommy protested with “I didn’t know they knew her” and “Kimber is getting weak”, but eventually he shouted out in defeat, “I fucked up, alright? I’ll fix it. I promise.” When they came back, Tommy looked like a dog that’d just been kicked. So he retreated into a corner and started smoking, still sulking a little. Aunt Polly lifted your head up by placing a finger under your chin, “You won’t look pretty for a week, but it’ll heal.” You shrugged, not caring about being pretty at all, and muttered, “I feel like an idiot…” “Why?” your aunt demanded, “because big men decided to go after a small girl?” Tears started forming in the corners of your eyes, as you admitted, “Because I wanted to be brave! In my stories I’m pretty and strong and the hero, but in reality I’m just like a mouse. No one notices me and I’m useless…” “Sweetheart,” Polly softened her voice and crouched down next to you, “Just because you can’t fight like Arthur or John can, doesn’t make you useless. We’re all stuck here, in Small Heath, and there’s nothing pretty about that. But you reading all those books? That’s what’s going to make this easier. You can pretend, and that’s worth more than you’ll ever realise.” You smiled back at your aunt, who always knew what to say to make you feel better. “I’m off to the chemist to get you some powder against the pain,” she kissed the top of your head, “I’ll be right back, love.” After she’d gone as well, you sighed again and dropped the cloth. Her words mattered, of course they did, but it didn’t change the fact that you weren’t happy with yourself at all. For starters, you still couldn’t bear looking at Tommy. “Y/N,” he grumbled, which convinced you even more he was angry and disappointed, “Tell me what they looked like.” “They didn’t wear hats…” Impatiently he waved a hand, “Apart from that. What else?” “I don’t know,” you shrugged, “it all happened fast, Tommy. They had that accent that Kimber has as well.” “Fucking Cockneys…” your brother breathed. “Tommy?” you tried carefully, “I’m so sorry, but I lost the money. I tried to keep it. When they asked I told them to fuck off and then I tried to run and even fight, but they still took it. I’m so sorry…” He held up a hand to silence you and locked eyes with you, “You told them to fuck off?” “Yes, but it didn’t help…” “You actually told them to fuck off?” he frowned, “Usually you’re too shy to even say anything to strangers…” “I was angry,” you explained, “and I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

Tommy walked over to you and much to your surprise, he was smirking, “So you told them to go fuck themselves, and then you fought them?” “Yes?” “Did you hit any of them?” You thought about it for a second, “I think I kicked one in the balls and hit the other in the face.” His grin grew even wider and he mumbled to himself, “Wait ‘till I tell Arthur about this…” “Why?” you protested, “So he can laugh at me as well?” “No, sweetheart, he’ll be the proudest brother ever. His little sister, who everyone thinks is a little mouse too scared to do anything? She fucking hit a grown man and told them to go fuck themselves. Now that’s a hero in my book!” His laugh was contagious and you had to join in. But soon you became uncertain again and asked, “Are you not upset I lost the money?” “The money’s not important,” his face grew serious again in an instant, “but you are.” “Really?” you whispered. “Yes,” he took your face in his hands, “Listen, Y/N, this is what’s going to happen: Billy Kimber threatened my little sister, so I’m going to put himup against the post, and shoot him.” “And then what?” “Well, what usually happens in your books? Maybe I could learn something from them, eh?” A warm feeling of being appreciated for who you were came over you, “You’d take his kingdom and his skull would be put up on the gates, as a warning for all future enemies.” “That’s fucking dark,” Tommy raised one eyebrow, “But I like it.” “Me too…” you smiled at your brother. “I mean it though, Y/N. Kimber touched you, so I’m going to shoot the bastard. I won’t let anyone fucking go near you again.” And just like that, you felt safe enough again to continue dreaming. *** A few weeks later, everything had turned to chaos, both in the Shelby household as in the whole of Birmingham. Tommy didn’t speak to anyone of what happened to you, he hadn’t even apologized, but he wasn’t like that. He told you he’d fix it, promised you revenge, and that was even better. When the men were counting minutes in front of the Garrison and Billy Kimber’s army arrived, you were sitting at home with a book. You couldn’t really concentrate, because you knew there were too many of them. You pretended some angel would appear to save them all. There’d have to be no bloodshed, because this angel would be on your brothers’ side. That angel came in the form of your older sister Ada. She’d always had flair. In the end, only two bullets were fired. You listened to them both. One killed Danny Whizz-bang. The other killed Billy Kimber. Nobody knew, but as Tommy fired, he didn’t have business on his mind.

As he aimed, he saw his little sister’s face, all bruised and battered.

He whispered, “for Y/N,” and shot.

Bang.

***

Masterlist

[landinoandco]

A Game of Chess

Carlos Sainz x reader

Request from @leesuhnakamoto-krys "Carlos Sainz x reader fluff"

Warnings: fluff, a slight reference if you squint.

Word count: 2.2 k

Requests are open :)

This year - due to the current pandemic - there were to be two races in Austria, however to keep with the theme of ‘no two races the same’ they were to be called different things: the Styrian grand prix for the first race and the Austrian Grand Prix for the second. This weekend saw the first of the two and your boyfriend Carlos Sainz finished a respectable 6th place behind his former teammate and current best friend Lando Norris. 

The majority of the grid had decided to stay in the surrounding area, making the most of the time they had - not only to keep on training but to explore. 

Travelling the world with Carlos was a dream come true and you were so lucky to be able to do your job on the move - you were a travel blogger/vlogger and were pretty well known for it as well. A large following of people that enjoyed watching your weekly lifestyle and travel vlogs alongside the photography that came with it. 

It was the Monday following the race so Carlos had taken it as a rest day, you had woken up that morning in his arms, tracing circles on one of them as you both spoke about your plans for the day. 

“And a haircut is what I really need.” He said to you, as you moved a strand that had fallen into his eyes. 

“No, I like it long, you look more -” You paused. “Mature.” Giggling, you moved your hands up to run your fingers through his hair. He shook his head at you, a large smile plastered onto his face. He leaned forward onto his forearms, connecting your lips together for a brief second before pulling away and rolling out of bed. Leaving you, still huddled in all of the covers, watching him as he strode across the room to the hotel chest of drawers, pulling out two t-shirts; one of which he put on and the other being chucked in your general direction. 

“So, cariño, what is your plan for today?” Carlos asked, flopping onto the bed and looking up to you.

“I think I’m going to go and explore the town, some of my followers have recommended a few places so I think I am going to check those out, take a few photos-” You trailed off as he began to draw patterns onto the palm of your hand. You smiled fondly at him, you had met just before lockdown completely by chance after you bumped into him in a train station. He had asked for your number and feeling like he had given you no reason to say no, you did and as it turns out, it was the best decision of your life. “What is your plan for the day ahead, mi Amor.” 

“I think I am meeting Lando this afternoon at a café down the road. I’m going to teach him to play chess.” He said proudly, emphasising the word ‘chess.’ 

“Chess?” You questioned, reaching over for the top and putting it on. It was one of his old team McLaren t-shirts, you scoffed at his still apparent loyalty to the team; admittedly it was your favourite but Ferrari didn’t need to know that. 

“Yes.” Carlos stated, he then pointed at the t-shirt you were wearing. “I would recommend not leaving the hotel room with that t-shirt on. I don’t want to get into trouble.” He fought to keep the smile off of his lips. Your eyes lit up, “I wouldn’t even dream of it, mi Amor.”

You had agreed with Carlos that as soon as you had finished what you had set out to do that morning, you would meet him in the café alongside Lando. “Do you fancy playing a game of chess with me, later?” You had asked before you went your separate ways. 

Carlos gave a lopsided grin and kissed your forehead. “We will see, cariño, we will see.” With that he stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked down the street. Styria was a beautiful town, a handful of buildings situated in the mass of rolling hills and mountain tops that covered the landscape for as far as the eye could see. 

You had walked up to a stone viewing point at the peak of the town, a small bench that overlooked the south past Styria and into the Austrian countryside.

You loved this time you got to yourself, it allowed for you to sit and reminisce; bathing in all of the memories that lead up to this point in your life. You thought back to the day Carlos asked you to move to Italy with him - due to him changing teams. It almost broke your relationship, the thought of leaving all of your family and friends behind in England but in the end you decided it was an adventure too thrilling to pass on...

It was a breezy summer evening in London, the clouds had blanketed the city and a faint rumble of the traffic could be heard from your apartment. Carlos had messaged you earlier that day, asking if he could talk to you when he got home - for the remainder of that afternoon nerves had settled comfortably in the pit of your stomach. At last you heard the unlocking of the door, your head whipped around to see a tired looking Carlos to fall through the door with a sigh. As soon as he looked up and saw you sat on the sofa, his eyes gleamed. “Mi amor.” He said tiredly, his brows knitted momentarily before he nodded his head. “Right, my text message.” You nodded unsure of where this conversation was heading. It was early days in your relationship so anything was possible. 

“I got an offer from Ferrari-” He started, making his way over to you, you watched him intently, nibbling on your lower lip. “It’s an offer that in this industry you don’t turn down, obviously there is a lot to consider because it would mean leaving McLaren and-” He sighed, “This country behind.” 

A line appeared between your brows, you didn’t speak for fear of interrupting his train of thought. He took your hand in his. 

“If I signed with Ferrari, I would have to move to Italy-” Your mouth made an ‘o’ shape. “Which is why I wanted to ask you if you would come with me.” 

You definitely didn’t expect him to ask this, any expression that was on your face before had been wiped as you took to staring. “I’m asking a big thing and obviously you don’t have to answer straight away.” He rushed in response to your dumbfounded expression. 

For the next few days - after that conversation - the atmosphere between the pair of you had become tense, you had decided to call your sister and explained the whole situation to her. In a nutshell she called you an idiot for not saying yes immediately.  

“I’ve been thinking-” You began to Carlos that evening . “I would love to move to Italy with you. It’s a good opportunity to really write our story, explore the world - together. It will be such a great adventure.” Carlos didn’t need to ask you twice and he enveloped you into his arms and span you around, meeting your lips with his. 

“I love you.” He said, placing his forehead on yours. That night was also the first time those three words were exchanged. “I love you too.” You replied sweetly, your lips brushing his as you did so. 

You smiled fondly at the memory. You were so lucky to have found Carlos - actually you found each other - you like to believe that it was the universe who had a hand in it. Carlos was your soulmate and you were honoured to be able to call him that. 

Deciding it was time you made your way back to him, you started on your journey back to the main town - down the steep, winding path, birds darting overhead and the chirp of crickets sounding in the hedgerows. 

You reached the café and as soon as you opened the door, you were hit with the smell of warm coffee, you went over to the counter and ordered yourself a latte - casting your gaze around the old fashioned shop, you were surprised to see that only a few people were sitting inside; an older couple, who had taken extreme interest in the pair you were here to see. You chuckled to yourself as the barista placed your drink onto the counter in front of you. 

“Drew quite the crowd earlier.” He leant over the counter, pointing to the pair, they were stuck in an intense game of chess and by the looks of it - Lando was winning. Carlos looked up, shaking his head as Lando moved another one of his pieces off of the board; as he did he noticed you standing there and waved you over. 

“Yes, I bet they did.” You chuckled, taking the drink and nodding ‘thanks’ to him. Carlos pulled a chair up for you and motioned to the chess board in anguish, “You will not believe it, mi Amor. He is beating me.” Lando was sat on the other side wearing a cocky grin and his arms crossed onto the table. 

“So what you are trying to tell me, Carli , is that you taught Lando too well and now he is beating you.” You pointed out, the corners of your eyes crinkled. Carlos only glared at you, sighing dramatically. Lando played incredibly well and did take the victory, punching his arms in the air as he called out ‘checkmate.’ 

“The student becomes the master.” He cheered, high fiving you and offered to shake Carlos’ hand but Carlos pouted and pushed it away with his index finger. “No. How on earth did you win? I’ve only just taught you.” He cried out. 

You looked at Lando as Lando looked at you, both fighting the urge to laugh. You couldn’t hold it in as you held onto the table - both doubling over. 

“I love you, Carli, I really do but - boy - are you a sore loser.” You managed to say. 

“Well, cheers, mate.” Lando said getting up, wiping the tears from the corner of his eyes. “I’m going to head off now. Dinner with Jon.” You waved as he left, fist bumping Carlos on his way past. 

“Do you fancy a game with me now?” You asked, your elbow was resting on the table so you leant on the heel of your palm. 

“On one condition.” Carlos said, setting the chess board back up, “As long as you promise not to beat me like Lando just did.” 

“Of course, mi Amor.” You said, a hint of mocking in your tone. You admired the way he scrunched up his nose as he concentrated, working out what his first move was going to be. 

“The aim of chess is to be in control of your opponent, you want to be able to trick them into doing exactly what you want them to do.” Carlos said, moving his first piece. “You have to play with dominance.” He added theatrically. 

“You want me to be dominant?” You repeated incredulously, a smirk toying with your lips. “Well, why didn’t you say so. After all this time-” 

“Mi Amor.” He gasped, lowering his voice. “Not like that -” He stammered, a pink flush rising up his neck. You only winked in reply and made your move. 

“Go on, tell me more about chess.” You urged him on, watching as he went to make his move. He paused, met your gaze and narrowed his eyes. You shrugged innocently and he carried on; his gaze softened as a reminiscent haze coated his eyes. 

“You know,” Carlos began, placing the chess piece down and resting both of his elbows onto the table. “When my dad first met my mum, he taught her how to play chess and they used to sit in the kitchen on a Sunday morning after church and play. It was then my mum who taught me, on the weekends when my dad was away racing; we used to sit in the kitchen together on a Sunday after church and play. It was always the highlight of my weekend.” You watched as he fondly spoke about his family, warmth filled your chest. 

“You teach me well then and maybe we could turn it into a tradition.” You spoke gently, reaching over the table to take his hand in yours. Awe transformed his face as he gazed at you. 

Many years later you would end up making it a tradition, as you taught your daughter how to play on a Sunday after church as she watched her daddy race. You would tell her the story every time you would go to play and every time you would think about how lucky you were to have bumped into that stranger in the train station. They say that you will find your soulmate when you least expect it and after all these years - you would have to agree. 

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒏 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆.....

𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀: 𝑩𝑨𝑺𝑬𝑫 𝑶𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑮

𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕:

I want to sit on the kitchen floor eating pizza at 3am with you and talk about our hopes and dreams

𝑮𝑬𝑵𝑹𝑬: 𝑭𝑳𝑼𝑭𝑭

𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮: 𝒏𝒖𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈

𝑷𝑨𝑰𝑹𝑰𝑵𝑮: 𝑪𝑯𝑹𝑰𝑺 𝑬𝑽𝑨𝑵𝑺 𝑿 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹

𝑫𝑶𝑵𝑻 𝑷𝑶𝑺𝑻 𝑨𝑵𝒀 𝑶𝑭 𝑴𝒀 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑻 𝑨𝑵𝒀𝑾𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑬 𝑬𝑳𝑺𝑬. 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑶𝑵 𝑾𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑷𝑨𝑫, 𝑨𝑶3, 𝑵𝑶𝑾𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑬!

𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑹𝑬𝑩𝑳𝑶𝑮𝑺 𝑾𝑬𝑳𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑬

-----------

You could feel his eyes on you From across the room. A small smile creeped up on your face as you peered up at Chris from your book. He quickly snapped his eyes from you acting as if he wasn't looking at you. You chuckled. "I saw you."

You shut your book, sitting it beside you. You walked over to him; he was sitting on the couch across from you so it wasn't that far of a walk.

You straddled his waist, the first thing you did was kiss him, your fingers running through his hair. Chris Chuckled softly running his finger over your cheek. "I'm so in love with you." Chris whispered. He looked into your eyes with his blue eyes. His eyes were scrunched from the smile that was on his face. Chris wasn't lying when he said he was in love with you. He's been in love with you for years and he honestly didn't remember a time when he didn't.

To him, you were an angel. He's been waiting years to find you and when he did, god he was on cloud 9. Everything about you was flawless. Your smile, your laugh, your humor, your beauty, everything.

Just like Chris was there for you, you were there for him. Panic attacks, need help with something like killing a spider, cuddles, you both had each other's backs. It was like you both were meant for each other

Chris, He couldn't comprehend a world with you, but he didn't have to worry because a world without you wasn't going to happen any time soon.

-

"I'm so in love you too." You kissed him again before pulling away with with a chuckle. "So what do you want to do today?" You ran your finger up and down through his hair as you waited for an answer.

Chris sucked in his breath, "um I was thinking we can stay at home, go get in the pool, look up at the stars, and later come in and watch a movie while eating pizza. What do you think love?"

You smiled at him. "I think that's a good idea." You gave him one more kiss before getting off of his lap. "I'll finish reading until later when the sun has settled behind the mountains." You sat back down on the other couch, grabbing your book.

"sounds great babe."

--

Those few hours flew by in a heartbeat. Before you knew it, you and Chris were in your swimwear and on your ways to the pool.

As you walked outside the cool night air hit you. You shivered as you tiptoed the pool. Chris was right behind you as you waddled into the pool. Just as you imagined the pool way cold too. You weren't planning on staying in it for long though.

Chris got in with you, quickly wrapping his arms around your you. "It's a little cold, but it's very nice." Chris looked up at the sky. "The stars are twinkling, the moon is high in the sky, and I'm with my best gal. Nothing is more perfect." He looked back at you before kissing you.

You pulled away smiling. "I feel a lot warmer when I'm in your arms." You said pressing your head into his shoulder. Chris rubbed his hands up and down your bare back. "Same."

You both stayed like that for a little whil, no words being spoken until you pulled away. You looked up at Chris, he had his eyes closed. "What are you doing Chris?"

Chris opened his eyes, "making a wish." You laughed, "what did you wish for?"

"can't tell you, if I do it won't come true." You raised your eyebrows, "okay." You snuck in a chuckle before you pulled away from him fully, "well I'm going to go back in, it's getting really cold." You turned around climbing up the little ladder.

You wrapped yourself in the towel on the lounge chair and walked inside leaving Chris by himself.

You went straight into the bathroom, discarding your clothes so you can take a shower. Opening the glass door, you turned on the water, wait till it was hot before you got in.

As the fresh warm water ran down your body, you sighed. Your head was empty, you just allowed the water to fall over your body.

Your peace didn't last long; Chris opened the shower door a few minutes later. He was shivering,"is there room for two in here?"

You laughed, moving back so he could join you. He quickly got in under the warm water. "Ahh, that's much better."

You shook your head, a smile on your face. Chris turned to you, "so you want me to lather you up or not?" Chris asked. "Sure, just don't do anything weird."

You picked up your towel and handed it to him. Chris began covering you in soap. He managed to make it none sexual which was nice. Showers with him always ended with doing it.

When he was finished, you returned the favor and soaped him up. Once everything was rinsed off you and Chris got out.

The both of you put on some warm clothes. Chris some sweats and you put on some panties and one of his oversized shirts.

Now you were sitting on the couch, dodgers head in your lap as he slept and Chris who was on the phone with his favorite pizza place.

You watched as he made the phone call in the kitchen. You remembered thinking to yourself he was so handsome pacing back and forth as he talked to the man on the other side of the phone. You thought he wouldn't notice your eyes but he did, and when he looked your way you stared into space like you weren't looking.

"I saw you." He said as he walked over to you. "You saw nothing." You said giving him an angry looked which to Chris was freaking adorable. "Okay fine, I saw nothing." He sat down beside you and gave dodger some pets.

"pizza Will be here in about 30 minutes so we can watch a movie until then." Chris leaned over a grabbed the romote control off the coffee table. "Whatcha wanna watch babe?" Chris asked as he turned on disney plus. "Hmmm, Lilo & stitch."

Chris laughed, "okay." He turned on the film and you both began to watch it.

That lasted for 30 minutes before the doorbell rung. "I got it." Chris got up and went to answer the door.

Dodger lifted his head and looked up at you. "Pizzas here buddy." You said, getting up. Dodger followed you to the kitchen where you pulled out two plates for you and Chris. Chris returned this time with the pizza. He sat it on the counter and opened the box. The amazing smell of pizza filled your nostrils causing you to moan. "It smells so good. I don't think I'm going to make it to the couch."

You sinked down on the floor. Chris looked down at you confused, "what are you doing?" "I'm eating on the floor. Join me, it's great down here." Chris shook his head but joined anyways.

"you're right, it is nice down here." He took a bite of his pizza with a raised eyebrows. You both sat on the floor until you were full. The small conversation you were both having quickly blossomed into a conversation about both of your futures together.

"I would like to live on a farm." You said as you hugged your knees. Chris nodded, "yeah, I always wanted one too." There was a brief silence before Chris spoke again. "Maybe we can have that farm one day. You know when we have kids."

Chris was nervous as he said that. You both talked about kids before but never really went into depts.

"I mean yeah. We can have 3 or 4 kids on a farm with a few chickens, and maybe a goat or cow. But we're just living our best life; I want that." You smiled at Chris. He smiled back at you. "Yeah, I want that too."

You both stayed quiet again before Chris blurted out a few words. "Marry me."

You turned to him shocked but confused. "I'm sorry?" Chris exhaled softly, fully turning to you. "Marry me. I don't have the ring with me now, it's a ma's house, but I really want to spend the rest of my life with you." He reached out and grabbed your hands, "so marry me."

Your heart skipped a beat in your chest, you weren't expecting this at all. "Yes, I'll marry you!"

You chuckled before hugging Chris. Chris felt relived, he thought that was going to be hard but nope, it was simple and he was happy with the outcome.

You pulled away looking at him, "I love you Chris."

"I love you too." Chris took your face and gave you a kiss on the lips. he couldn't wait to make you his.

------------------

Hope you enjoyed, feedback welcome!

@chris-butt @patzammit @bval-1 @raveviolet @mrsbbarnesrogers-reading @enn-j @london-dreamer71 @harrysthiccthighss @captainamerica-is-bae @la-cey @weirdowithnobeardo @lovepeacefood @baby-i-am-fireproof @denisemarieangelina @evans713 @smyfmj @thereisa8ella @rororo06 @keiva1000 @ughitsnic @adriannajackson123 @marvelnaturalock @notyourtypicalrose @dummiesshort @onetwo3000 @hhiggs @katiew1973 @andreasworlsboring101 @skepticnovak @funfickgirl22 @hxnesthxneybee @henrythickcavill @melchills-j @franchesca-791 @moonlacebeam @annasworld14

[darkdevasofdestruction]

An Angel and A Demon ~ Pyramid Head x Reader

Update 2: My laptop restarted when I was in the middle of writing this, and trust me when I say it, I am positively pissed off, and I want to end my days, that's how bad of a day this was.

And I didn't leave the house.

That says a lot about today...

Update 1: But, without further ado, I was half-way writing this story, and I received this ask, and let me tell you...

helloooo, i absolutely adored the fanfics you wrote about kazan and danny🥺 could i request one where pyramid head is just really whipped for and in love with the survivor! reader but he doesnt know how to announce it to them so he brings her random ,,gifts" in and outside the trials and protecting her bc well, im pretty sure he cant speak so he doesnt really have any other options on how to express his feelings??

I live for it.

Bless you for sending me this, it's the reason I'm still sane right now.

I love you, baby-cakes.

Update 3: I want to kill myself so bad. Just smash my head on a wall until it explodes or sth. I was so happy with how this imagine turned out, only fuck fucking tumblr to just fucking delete EVERYTHING just as I was about to put the last gif and hit POST NOW.

--------

For the 5th time writing this :

FUCKMEDADDY - but this time - FUCKMYBRAINSOUTPLEASEIWANNADIE

Thanks.

-------

Hell - What was that place, anyway?

Some would describe it as an infinite ocean of flames and lava, where it's eternally melting-hot, and a bunch of hooved, horned, tailed red demons torture you with acid, with their red pitch forks, or boil you alive in their cauldron for soup. Or maybe you just get tortured by Stalin, who knows?

But never would have anyone thought that 'Hell' could look so...Normal. Well, normal in a very demolished, desolate, ravished way, but still...Normal, by human standards. Albeit, the never-ending loop of madness, anguish, agony and desperation of getting killed in different gruesome ways or fleeing for their lives and feeling a myriad of emotions pumping adrenaline through their veins so badly that their anxiety-meter skyrocketed to abnormal levels.

All this darkness, this hatred, this...Everything...It changed all the survivors. They became selfish, stubborn, rude, some even went as far as to sacrifice their fellow survivors in trials, just so they could survive. It was a complete mayhem that defied all kinds of reason, normality, morality or even ethics. Everyone became devoid of any laws that used to bind them to their humane sides, and now, you weren't sure if the killers were saner than the survivors or not.

But even in this abyss where you couldn't even see your hand in front of your very eyes, there was a little star - A beautiful angel radiating brightness and warmth, someone who was somehow able to guide everyone's straying souls with her benevolence.

In reality, she was merely a survivor, not the little lantern from an angler fish's head, but she treated everyone with such an untainted kindness...It was beautiful, and yet, unrequited for most parts. Everyone was still putting their own lives above all - And who could condemn them? - Perhaps their cowardice, for the girl preferred to save her fellow survivors as much as possible, even if that oftentimes assured her place on the hook, to be a sacrificial lamb for the Entity.

On the other hand, she rarely ended up on the hook - Most killers prefer to kill her themselves, instead of letting her become pray for the horrible Entity who tortured so many of them for refusing to cooperate - The Trapper, Evan MacMillan - He knew the best, with those hooks digging into his flesh, impossible to extract. He was the first to protect this girl. It wasn't much, but if he had to, he'd rather give her a swift, painless death, than seeing her without that serene, angelic smile on her face, as the Entity feeds on the last bits of her soul's beauty, the last parts of her humanity.

The other Killers were confused at the Trapper's actions, but little by little, they began to understand why this girl was so precious and special - And this domino effect hit Rin Yamaoka next, with Y/N stopping in the middle of a chase and taking off her jacket, just as Rin was about to butcher her with her katana, and she smiled, extending it to her. 'You must be cold' she said, realising that the Spirit was merely wearing a few bandages, not even her school uniform, or her kimono.

The ghost girl was shaken up by this, and told the others at the killer camp, but they just shrugged it off - Rin was a little girl who faced close to no kindness, they weren't surprised she was so taken aback by such a feat. That is, until Adiris, in a particularly terrible day, when everyone at the camp was staying away from her, as her profane censer wasn't able to cover the stench of rotting flesh - Y/N came over, taking out a small yet elegant glass bottle with pink liquid on it, spraying some on her - And now, The Plague smelled of roses and vanilla - 'You can come to me for perfume whenever you want, I always carry some with me!' she grinned at the Babylonian High Priestess, before leaving back to the survivor's camp site, leaving the ancient God symbol to stare with her mouth agape at the girl.

These words began to spread, and it was no surprise when the killers saw Susie clinging and begging her Legion friends to spare Y/N, for she was there to hug away her worries more than once, to tell her sweet words, to play with her hair and play the guitar whatever songs she wanted to hear, to get reminded of her home - She was so home sick that she freaked out, but now she was better, thanks to Y/N - 'I know you miss home, but sometimes, home is where your best friends are, and all three of them are here!' she tried to encourage the cute pink-haired girl who could only squeal and hug her new friend.

Even Ghostface wasn't exempt from falling to her charms, and they would often take silly selfies and mess around, making fun of the old horror movie tropes and doing lots of puns and pranks - So much that she even got his trust to be told about the Danny/Jed thing, and how he began his killer profession - 'You're a very talented photographer, Danny! You deserved all that recognition you got, both as a journalist, and as a killer!'

And very soon, Y/N found herself in the crushing arms of an overprotective Anna, humming her mother's lullaby together with walking through the forest, Y/N making flower crows for all the female killers at the camp site, and little by little, she somehow managed to worm her way under everyone's skins.

Y/N was the survivor with the highest survivability percentage, and maybe the Entity sometimes got pissed off, but at least she still got killed sometimes, so who cares? Well, that was soon to change as soon as a new Killer was added to this sick game - Pyramid Head, the terror of Silent Hill, as Cheryl, the new Survivor, called him - or The Executioner, as he was known now. He was ruthless, merciless, grotesque - He had his own criteria of killing, his own moral compass, ethics, conscience and understanding of the concept of life and death. Nothing that could compare to the visions of humans, clearly - Everything was gravitating around Divine Retribution and Justice, but the from the outside, he was nothing but a killing machine.

He would kill everyone and anyone that crosses his path, without fail.

Y/N felt like her fortune ended completely the second she found herself in the new, overly cramped map, with Pyramid Head as the killer - She couldn't help but run around like a spazzic meerkat, trying to find and fix as many generators as possible, without having to get face to face with the walking hazard...

Only to run past a stuck Pyramid Head.

Slowly backtracing her steps, she saw the mountain of a man with his metal pyramid stuck in the frames a low window which he tried to walk over. He was trashing like a raged bull trying to attack a matador, but it was clear he was getting nowhere with this.

"H-Hey, u-uhm...Need some help?" she asked in a soft, careful voice, almost like a meek cat trying to test the waters, but in return, he started groaning even louder from the wrath he wanted to unleash upon the whole world. "Okay, uhm...I think I saw a can of vaseline in one of the chests around. I'll go fetch it and I'll come back for you. Don't move." she said, only to then realise how horrible that sounded, considering the situation, and it only seemed to anger the killer. "...I'm sorry, ignore me, I'm an idiot." she slapped herself pretty harshly before bolting out of there trying to find the chest.

However, Y/N cursed herself for not having perfectly memorised the whole map by heart already, since she found the vaseline can after the 3rd chest, and then, it took quite a while to find the bloody window that got the killer stuck - And by the time she got there, she was dead tired. "Okay, I'm here, I found the vaseline! Let's try to get you out of here." Y/N muttered as she put her feet on the low window pane to get to his level. "If it's not too much trouble, could you please hold onto me? I can't balance myself with both hands occupied, and I'd rather not fall." she explained as she opened the vaseline can, only to shiver as she felt two big, strong hands getting a firm grip on her hips. It was almost...Endearing, were she not too busy trying to get the killer unstuck. She kept massaging the metal edge, trying to push and pull, also praying to whatever deity that existed in her human world that she had her tetanus shot done on time - Until finally, she was able to get hear a loud screech, like a pop, and the killer got unstuck, and in the process, he stumbled backwards, while Y/N fell down on her butt.

"Ouchie..." she muttered, rubbing her back and sides to take away the pain surging through her body. "Are you okay?" she asked, almost intuitively, without realising it at first, until she heart a low grunt that brought her back to reality. "O-Oh...! You have glass shards stuck in your side! And you're bleeding too! Hold up, let me help." she hurried to his side, while the killer merely stiffened, feeling her delicate, slender fingers tracing his body, while he heaved and slouched his shoulders from the repressed wrath. "It may sting a bit, and I'm really sorry, but I promise it will be better soon." her voice was so motherly and warm, which also resonated in her actions, as she gingerly took a water bottle and imbued some tissues with it, to wipe away the blood smearing down his skin as she extracted the glass shards, and then..."This is grandma's marigold ointment. It's really good, and it smells nice." she explained as she carefully smeared a thick layer of the yellow ointment on the biggest wounds, while the little ones were covered by smiley-flower patterned plasters. They were cute, and colourful, and they never failed to make her smile. "Okay, there we go, all better! I hope you'll feel better very soon!" her voice got a tiny bit more cheerful and upbeat.

It made the Killer think about a trillion things, as he stepped in front of her, towering over her like the Empire states building next to a smiling pomeranian. What was with this girl? Why did she help a killer? And why did he feel so...Warm inside? He could sense a foreign kind of luminosity, a naivite and innocence that he only witnessed in children and animals. This woman in front of him was untainted by the darkness and evil of the world.

It didn't matter how many hardships she's been through, or how much sadness she had to endure - Her soul remained as pure as any snowdrop, as the first snow of winter, as the fleece of a baby lamb who let out its first 'meeeeh' to its mamma sheep.

He couldn't allow this human to be maimed in any way - Not by the world, not by the Entity, and certainly not by him. - Screw the Entity, Pyramind Head kills by his own rules, and now, he was blessed to be faced with a human who bore no real hatred for her peers, or for the world, despite the horrible situation she was thrown into.

He didn't understand, obviously, especially as he remembered the myriad of abominations that lurked through Silent Hill, all of them created by the torment of humans - The very torment that distorted their own reality, which resulted in him needing to solve the purpose as The Executioner - Eradicating the world of all evil.

"Th-This sword is so heavy...H-How can you carry this around like that...?! Your muscles must be so strained and sore...Y-You really need a massage, I'm sure." she stuttered as she tried to lift the much taller and heavier sword from the ground, only for the brute to simply bend and pick it up with extreme ease, putting the girl to shame with her complete lack of strength. "Hehe...You're really strong. I'm embarrassed now." she chuckled softly, scratching the back of her neck.

Before she could leave or do anything else, Pyramid Head picked her up by the throat, careful not to hurt her or restrict her air intake - I mean, how else was he supposed to carry her so he wouldn't hurt her with his metal head or sword? - and it was pretty clear she didn't feel any malevolence from him, as she clinged on his forearm, trying to keep herself up, only to be dumped on top of the hatch, as the killer pointed towards it, so she would leave.

"O-Oh...! Thank you so much! You're really kind! I really appreciate this...I-I know it probably doesn't matter much to you, since you'll be doing this over and over again with all the survivors...But I really appreciate you for your kind gesture, and I appreciate you for being so nice with me. Thank you. Take care!" her dazzling smile lit the whole place up, but he couldn't talk, nor could he tell her how he should be the one thanking her for showing him that, despite the hundreds and thousands of years he had to roam the 'Earth' and execute the injust, miracles still existed.

As soon as she reached the survivor's camp, everyone cheered for her, asking how in the world could she have escaped the wrath of the butcher. "Oh, but he wasn't that bad. In fact, he's much more humane than I anticipated! I think he has a beautiful, blooming heart!" okay, she's lost it - the other survivors thought - but even so, she's always been a bit...Out of it, so who cares?

It took quite a while for the other three survivors to reach the camp, all bloody, in fact, like the new killer, who dragged himself with the same menace to the Killers' camp. "How the hell did you manage to survive?!" they yelled at her in utter shock, seeing that she got out of there unscratched. "Oh, you see...I found the hatch." she shrugged simply, not wanting to give away that the person who massacred those three was a soft one and he basically threw her down the hatch to her safety.

As she took a twig to roast a marshmallows, she noticed how Pyramid Head was standing much farther away from the rest of the killers - She knew that silent killers were bound to stay away from the more obnoxious one, remembering how Michael Myers almost killed Ghostface and The Legion at least a dozen times - But this time...He seemed kinda...Lonely? So Y/N took the matters into her own hands, roasted another marshmallow in another twig, and when it was done, she went to the killer's camp, calling out the lonely one's name - She has no idea why, but he actually followed her, pushing her further deep into the forest, until he was sure nobody was going to hear, see or interrupt them...

"Hey. You seemed pretty lonely out there...I thought you could use a friend. Thank you again for what you did at the trial...Here, this is a marshmallow. I don't think you've had many before...Cheryl told me of that horrible place you had to live in...So I hope this will make your day a bit better!" Y/N extended one of her hands towards him, so he could take the marshmallow - And a long, black tongue erupted from underneath the pyramid, snatching away the fluffy marshmallow and gulping it in one go.

What the hell was he turning into?

A towering man built of pure muscle, wrath and divine justice, with a pyramid representing the evil of humanity burdening his body, and a sword taller and heavier than the average human being constantly dragged in one of his hand...He now was a slave to a cute, innocent girl who was putting flower plasters on his minuscule wounds that would heal in a heartbeat regardless - He saved this girl who was now offering his these soft, squishy things that tasted overly sugarly, just like her upbeat and cheerful personality - If he could eat her, he was sure she would taste even sweeter than this - A sickish kind of sweet, that is.

She was indeed a beautiful angel in this tragic hell. But he didn't wait to snatch the second marshmallow either.

"Ah...! You liked it, didn't you? Well...Next time, I promise I'll give you more!" she grinned at him the same way a princess would to her chivalrous knight who saved her. The since he couldn't talk, silence took over them - It wasn't an uncomfortable one, per se, but it made it feel as if the conversation was over. "W-Well...I'll guess I'll see you around! Take care and I hope to see you again soon!" she waved cutely, trying to turn around back to her camp, only to feel a rough hand on her shoulder, turning her around and urging her to stop and wait for him and he went deep into the forest, leaving her alone and undefended by the potential malevolent forces of the forest.

When he returned, however, he stepped right in front of her, creating the perfect shade as he towered over her - Then he kneeled in front of her, so he would reach her eye sight, then he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and put a beautiful pink flower - As pink as the blush that started creeping on her face - He wanted to see her luminous face better, to highlight her dazzling smile and her glimmering eyes as the warm, silver light of the mother moon caressed her face.

Y/N felt her heart picking up the pace - It was beating so much faster than ever before - But this time, it wasn't out of fear or anything negative...It was something good. Something she never felt in her life, especially with her human acquaintances from back home. None was as chivalrous and gentle with her as this butcher of tormented souls - The bringer of justice, the merciless Executioner who was supposed to end the life of every living being that would cross his path.

It was insane how every Yin finds its Yang, even if that comes in the form of a little lamb of a small, frail girl, and a huge abomination of a brute man who knows nothing but death, bloodshed and carnage. It was truly crazy how opposites attract, and here she was, holding the killers large hands and gingerly putting them on her face, leaning into his touch - She felt safer now than ever in her life - Now, in the arms of an ancient killer.

An Angel and A Demon brought together in a perfect union.

As she leaned down, she touched the metal of the pyramid where she anticipated his forehead would be with her own forehead, and closing her eyes, she finally felt herself calming down. There was no need for words, actions spoke louder than anything, and she appreciated it...She appreciated him.

"Thank you." she whispered to him, knowing that yes, even though nobody else would hear it anyway, it was much more intimate than anything she ever experienced.

She was hooked.

Hope you liked my completely shameless pun, I couldn't stop it, especially after the pain I went through trying to write this...3 freaking times.

Yay.

[lunar-wandering]

Happy Valentine's Day :D Here's a Giggle Glow Fic just for you! dsjskkj I had an idea and it also happened to come to me today I hope it's okay *** “Why do you think you glow when you laugh?” Wukong blinked looking down at Macaque who was resting his head in the brown monkey’s lap. They had been stargazing, but Macaque had asked to be groomed and Wukong wasn’t about to deny that request.

“I don’t know. Why do you?” A smile stretched over Wukong’s face as he continued his grooming session making his Moonlight softly glow from purring.

“I don’t know. But it’s nice seeing your glow.”

“And it’s nice seeing you glow!”

Macaque squawked as Wukong grabbed him by the waist and rolled them both over. The roll led to them to wrestling and the wrestling led them to tumbling all the way down the hill landing in a heap. A bright glow lit the area as they laughed at their predicament. The glow only getting brighter as their laughter created a loop feeding the other’s until they both began to hiccup from laughing so much.

“I wonder what else causes the glow,” Macaque mused after they both settled down staring up through the trees.

“I’m sure we’ll find out someday! Afterall, we make each other laugh the most!” Wukong’s smile, even though Macaque couldn’t see it, felt as blinding as the earlier laughter glow.

“Sure Sunshine.”

“Of course, Moonlight!”

Neither of them could have known what the future held for them. For how long Wukong would be away from their home, how the fires would turn Macaque’s full moon fur black as a new moon. How he still tried his best for the monkeys that were left until Wukong could finally return.

And he did.

“You picked up a new style while you were gone.”

“A lot happened…” This was new. Wukong was normally louder, filling the room with his voice even while minding Macaque’s ears. After the celebrations had died down from Wukong not only returning, but from taking care of the hunters as well, he had stolen away to help Macaque rebind his bandages.

“Tell me about it. We knew of your capture and nothing else…” Macaque should have gone after them. Should have fought to free Wukong, but it was either follow and leave the mountain in an even greater panic or stay and quell the fear.

Besides Wukong was immortal. Very immortal. He had expected the other to return within a night.

“May things Mango…. Many things.” Macaque could feel any anger at his questions being dodged fizzle out at Wukong’s more passive state. Turning to taking Wukong’s face into his hands Macaque opened his mouth to speak.

“Wukong why don—” Macaque started, stopping at seeing a small glow beneath his hands. Wukong noticed the change but said nothing as the other slowly lifted a hand to see a glowing mark left from his hand on Wukong’s face.

Ever so slowly Macaque moved his thumb still on Wukong’s face in a swiping motion. A swatch of color being left behind when he did.

“Mango what’s?”

“Hold on!” Macaque took Wukong’s hand instead and started tracing swirls onto the brown monkey’s skin going up his arm. The glow wasn’t as bright as the one on his face, but Macaque could make out the swirls just beneath the fur. “You’re glowing without laughing”

“Oh. So I am. I wonder why that’s happening,” Question forgotten Wukong watched as Macaque traced more swirls and constellations onto his arms. Neither were sure why Wukong was glowing, but the questions could wait for now. Wukong was content just to be near his Moonlight again and enjoying the patterns the, now dark furred, monkey drew.

Of course, neither could have known where else the winds of fate would blow. Where the next step would be.

Neither also could have ever expected to be dropped into a nest as MK, Mei and Red Son made themselves comfortable around them.

“Sooo…Is there a reason we’re in a well-lit room in a nest?” Wukong hazard even as MK, centered behind the monkeys more on Wukong’s side, started grooming through his fur and making the tension drain out of the Monkey King almost instantly.

“You’re glowing,” Was Mei’s reply as she copied the motions to Macaque. The Dark furred monkey still looked a little tense but with Red Son laying across their laps, and the lack of any real shadows, he didn’t have much of an escape route.

“We established that we glow when we laugh what does—”

“You’re glowing as we’re grooming you.”

“Oh.”

While they hadn’t been close again just yet, almost by instinct did Wukong turn to Macaque who also had a similar look. They didn’t seem to have hidden it well enough.

“Oh don’t act like you both don’t enjoy it,” Red Son said from their laps, stretching a bit as his natural warmth added to the comfortable atmosphere.

Thoroughly trapped, and a little too comfortable to bother trying to escape, both monkeys shifted to a slightly more comfortable position and let them groom through their fur. Enjoying the little touches and gentle tugs as they pulled out all the knots. Neither noticed when they began leaning on each other in a sleepy comfort as the three younger ones talked quietly between themselves. Neither noticing the deliberate method of how Mk and Mei were grooming them.

Until at least, Macaque was startled awake by the sound of a camera shutter, knocking Wukong awake who had been resting his head on Macaque’s.

“What was that. What did you do?” Macaque narrowed his eyes at the smirking Dragon heir while Wukong’s successor looked away feigning innocence.

“Just show them the picture!” Red called out, still laying across their laps but rolling his eyes at the other two’s antics.

“Okay okay. Tada!” Mei called as she turned the phone to show them. With Mk’s help she and he had groomed just the right places to make a sprawling image of the waterfall cave that stretch between the two monkey’s backs. The furthest shoulders having a sun and moon drawn in, with Wukong having the moon and Macaque the sun.

“I almost don’t want this to fade,” Wukong said, sounding a little breathless as a giggle found its way out.

“It’s impressive.”

“Next time you both try and hide it though we’re going to draw a bunch of dicks.” The room exploded in a bright light as both Wukong and MK broke out in laughter and Macaque bit down on his scarf barely glowing from the contained laughter.

“You,” Wukong breathed in from the laughing fit, “You both wouldn’t DARE!”

“Don’t test them.” Red Son told Wukong lazily, “They will do it.”

“Sounds like someone else,” Macaque side eyed Wukong who gasped in fake offense and leaned back dramatically.

“Me? Doing something so impulsive and childish? Never,” The resulting chuckles once again bathed the room in light before they all shifted and soon all three of the younger adults were laying comfortably on top of the two monkeys dozing off.

“Hey, Mango,” The nicknamed jolted Macaque out of his own doze as he turned to Wukong who was looking up towards the ceiling.

“Yeah?”

“Did you ever work that question out. Why we glow?”

“No.”

“Do you still want to find out? Together?” The words where whispered but they sounded so loud in Macaque’s ears. It had his eyes straying to the outline of the nest before looking at each of the ones lying on top of them.

“Yeah. Yeah Peaches.”

And maybe with some help was left unsaid.

THE S M I L E THAT BROKE OUT ON MY FACE WHILE READING THIS.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. OH MY FUCKING GOD. WHAT THE ABSOLUTE HELL. THIS WAS AMAZING OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH???????

[heymeowmao]

2022.08.23 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324805707391172713

Took a break from my busy schedule~ Stream for a bit~

LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening. I am Modern Brothers’ Liu Yuning. Welcome~ LYN: Someone just asked me what was up with the giant flower vase. Nothing’s up with it, it’s just a specialty of the hotel I’m living in. We’re going for richness/luxury. My name is Liu Fugui. (富贵)

LYN: It’s been a while since I last streamed, and my new drama has starting shooting so I’ve been a bit busy.  - /confirms whether we can hear the laugh track or not/ C: How’s Dunhuang? LYN: Oh, its great. C: The sound is weird today. LYN: Yes, because the whole setting is different. That, and my voice is a little uncomfortable lately. The scenery in Dunhuang is amazing but honestly it’s a little dry. As someone from Dongbei, Dandong (a coastal prefecture-level city)- it’s drier than I can handle. It’s like you can’t sleep through the night without waking up and downing a whole bottle of water before you go back to sleep. Usually you’d wake up in the middle of the night and use the restroom before sleeping again, but here you need to drink water before sleeping again. I’m not used to it. C: What about a humidifier? LYN: It’s not really worth it, because I’m only here for half a month before we pack up and head back to Hengdian. 

C: Ning-ge, have you been “trapped in the mountain” (关山)? LYN: Right. Because it’s called 一念关山. You think about it once (一念) and you become closed in the mountain (关山). We really are in a mountain, which is interesting. I thought we would be coming to film some desert scenery, but we’re really shooting deep inside some canyon. The shots are beautiful. It’s not something you would see in any other drama, so it made coming worth it. It’s just that the wind and sand are too much. LYN: Not that I’m trying to make you pity me! I have to make a disclaimer now, or else people will think I want pity points. I just come to stream for my fans or people who even slightly like me- to share my daily work life, because they might not know how this industry works. So I come here to chat and share my experiences with them. I’m not here to make you pity me- that’s not what this is.  LYN: I just want to share that there’s a lot of wind and sand here. So much so that at the end of the day I come back to wash my face and you don’t need anything else- it’s like you’ve put on a mud mask. It’ll exfoliate your skin for you. My makeup artist is very diligent as well- every time we shoot a scene everyone else looks nice and pretty and my makeup artist comes over and tells me to apply some lip balm. My lips are so dry they’re peeling! I rarely apply lip balm, but I couldn’t help it, it was so dry. They told me to rub my lips together and I got a mouthful of sand- so I wiped it with a wet tissue instead and re-applied. It was still all sand. So when you’re watching the drama you might notice me licking my lips. /demonstrates/ It’s not planned nor does it have anything to do with the drama- there’s just too much sand!

LYN: It’s fun at location though- so much so that you feel like you’re cut off from the rest of the world, because the phone service and internet don’t work there.  C: Is is deserted? LYN: No, it’s not THAT far out of the way, but we have to drive about 1.5 hours to get there. I think it’s nice though, because we’re able to get wide shots and you can REALLY tell we’re not in Hengdian anymore. Really, all you see is mountain. So THIS is where the drama title comes from. There’s no internet, and if you wanted to go to the market to buy a cold bottle of water there’s no way that’s happening either. 

C: Have you met Liu Shishi-laoshi yet? LYN: I haven’t. How could I not have?? We’re shooting the same drama! What do you mean by this question?? I’ve met her; we’re working on the same project. This drama isn’t separated into two parts where she does “一念” and I do “关山”- it doesn’t work that way.

C: Does this mean there are no more paparazzi? LYN: /laughs/ Have you seen ANY drama that DOESN’T have Reuters? No matter what grade- they all have it. We don’t. In Hendgian they could climb whatever building and hide in whatever corner, but here? If you want to shoot some Reuters, you’re likely to lose your life trying (get lost in the desert/dehydration/heat stroke...). There’s no internet/service here. Even if you wanted to call for help, there’d be no one to help you.  C: They can’t find you? LYN: Not that, it’s that these mountains are UNCLIMBABLE. Well, there is one small part that IS.

C: Have you met with Mao Shiba (Fang Yilun) yet? LYN: I have. He’s great. 

C: School is starting soon. Wuwuwuwuwu (crying noises). LYN: What are you trying to act cute for? School is such a good thing, you should be happy! I’m going to morally kidnap you. As a young person, if you don’t go to school then what do you want to do, huh? You should go to school and learn, and be happy! That way we can continue to protect the oceans.  C: Happy, my foot. LYN: How can you have such negative energy?! It makes me sad. I saw a lot of people saying that they were starting school soon and you all seemed bummed about it- don’t. You have to be positive! You have to learn well, because that’s your only way out. // Once you enter society you’ll realize how nice attending school really is. You’ll start to miss the days you were in school. I didn’t go to college, but even I miss my culinary school days. So treasure it while you can. It’ll be harder if you want to come back to learn later in life.

C: Is the vase fake? LYN: Is it fake?? /knocks on it/ I don’t see anywhere that says it’s an ancient artifact. Are we appraising antiques in my stream now? It’s just a prop in my hotel room.  LYN: You’re just like some of my colleagues in this drama crew- for example, a young kid named Fang Yilun. We had a meal together one night, and after the drama wraps up for the day they will send out notices- for what scenes we’re shooting the next day, who will need to be there, and at what time, etc. So we were eating together when the notice came, and he looked at it and said, “This is great!” I asked what was up. He told me he didn’t have any scenes to shoot the next day, so he was off. My anger was rose (jokingly). “We only JUST started shooting, how could you be so happy to have a day off already? Are you treating this drama seriously?? Even if you ARE happy, you can’t just SAY IT like that.” XD Of course, I’m happy when I get a day off, too. But I don’t SAY it like that- because I shouldn’t influence the mood of our team. Some things are the truth but you can’t say them out loud because it... wouldn’t be nice.  C: A working person’s happiness stems from holiday breaks. LYN: Everyone looks forward to it (students, working people, etc). We’re all the same. C: Ning-ge, you’re just jealous (that FYL gets a day off). LYN: Yes, it’s true. I was just joking.  That’s why I said it was the same for students... anyway, study well!

C: Liu-ge, when will you play the male lead? LYN: This person must not be my fan, because usually fans will call me “Lao-da” or “Ning-ge”, but they called me “Liu-ge” which means they must have pleasant feelings towards me. This is a very sharp question, let me think of how to answer- I think that in this world there are no small roles, only small actors. Male and Female Lead don’t matter.  As long as you are a character in the work, then you are the main character. No matter what drama you’re in, you are the main character. 

C: Ning-ge, can you take your jacket off? LYN: What sort of a question is that?? I saw another comment earlier that wanted me to pull down my collar, and I ignored it. Now you want me to take my clothes off. What are you doing? First of all, this is a PG stream and secondly, I don’t have anything you’re looking to see. Why don’t you look somewhere else? I can’t help you here. You can’t just come and expect me to help you blow off steam.

C: Talk about The Oasis. LYN: It was pretty fun. All my fans know I usually only do one variety show a year, but this year I’ve been in a few. After The Truth I took a trip to The Oasis and spent two days madly running around. I got to show off a slide to our Dan-zhong. I didn’t mean to trip him! He was trying to run and I was trying to hold on to him but he was also trying to throw me off. The traction on my shoes was suddenly gone and I slipped and pulled him down with me. I wasn’t trying to show off. I was okay except for the fact that I hurt my waist a little- there’s a mic pack that is strapped behind us, and when I fell I landed on it. It hurt like hell. But it was only for. a couple days. Like I always say- martial artists are prone to bumps and bruises. That was nothing, it didn’t matter. C: Does it still hurt? LYN: 去你的. If it STILL hurts then I would have broken something when I slipped, or what? Do you know how long ago that was?? It doesn’t hurt anymore. I’m fine. 

- /talking about “综艺卡” (variety show card) and how it has some negative connotation (as if you’re only a regular on variety shows because you are unpopular and are trying to get yourself more exposure??), but Ning-ge has been using the term often lately in an effort to associate it with nicer connotations. Just like how 网红 (internet celebrity/influencer) doesn’t phase him anymore./ LYN: I used “综艺卡” as a sort of joke because anyone who knows me knows that I am NOT a variety show regular. I only sign with one variety show a year, how could I be a regular?? I just wanted to use it as a joke, in the hopes that it could turn into a nicer term. 

- /someone wants him to change the song, to which he declines/

- /doesn’t know when ALZ will air because they still haven’t called him to do voice-over, and he don’t know when they will. but, they did let him do the OST for it. :)/ - /people are surprised that he does his own voice-acting. LYN: I know I’m not very good at it, but as long as the director and production allow, I will do my best to voice my own characters./

C: Have you been shooting fight scenes? LYN: It’s like this, friends. Our crew only came to this place in Dunhuang, trapped us on a mountain- do you think it’s purely for the sake of shooting some romantic scenes? Are all us actors monkeys? Think about it- all of us are monkeys and in the middle of this mountain- is me? We’ve been shooting fight scenes from the start, that’s why we chose such a remote location. We didn’t come here to frolic through the mountains.  LYN: While I shoot these scenes, I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be so nice if guzhuang dramas didn’t have fight scenes or horse-riding scenes?” But if you really think about it, there’s no way that guzhuang dramas can ever leave those two elements out. I was trying to convince myself that the absence of these two elements would never happen and then something amazing happened. The character of Luo Mingxi came to me. He is someone with a weak constitution and has no martial arts skills. He’s so weak that even the sunlight could hurt him, so riding a horse might kill him. XD He mostly stays in the house but if he needs to go out, he’ll ride in a carriage. Add to that the fact that he can’t fight? Wow- nothing better has ever come to me. I was so happy. LYN: And then? After Luo Mingxi I became Floating World’s Best Swordsman- and that was DAILY fight scenes. That was when I knew that the good times and the bad times are in balance. My grandpa would always tell me not to be afraid of working hard, because all the hard times and all the good times a person has in their life has a limit. So if you fell on hard times when you were young, then you could expect good times when you’re old. Likewise, if you lived too smoothly when you were young, you might experience hardship when you’re older. That’s why I was never afraid of having a hard time when I was younger. But I just never expected it to apply to dramas, too. I had one drama with no fight scenes followed by one that was ALL fight scenes. LYN: When I got to this one, I thank Floating World for having so many. Honestly, fight scenes are not my strong suit, due to my long arms and legs and poor coordination. But after about five months essentially training in how to do fight scenes, I can’t say I’m GOOD, but I think I’m much better than I was before. 

C: Learn how to dance properly and you can do it too. LYN: People shouldn’t be too greedy. You can’t do EVERYTHING, you know? If you can do it all then it’s not realistic. There has to be something you’re not as good at, in order for life to have meaning. Let’s think about the things I can do. Like sing OSTs (starts singing 尋一个你 (Searching for You) OST)- I’m a singer. I also have the opportunity to be able to act. It’s enough isn’t it? I’m not kidding around with singing or acting, either. These two things alone give me enough work that I barely have the time. Now you want me to dance, too? You want me to go on Masked Dancer? I’m a pretty professional streamer as well, don’t you think? It’s enough to live by. If I learn anything else it’s likely to mess up my current work.  C: Learn how to swim. LYN: Swimming... that’s something I can consider. It’s considered a survival skill, right? Like if I fall into a river I would at least be able to save myself. I can learn. C: Aren’t you Dandong’d Dance King though? LYN: People are just making fun of me. This one really ISN’T a good term.

C: I saw some media account say you were going to act in the CQL movie version. LYN: You know, some media accounts- none of the ones that are watching my stream- but there are some out there that just post-- they post-- (bullshit). Alright friends, let’s say this: if you ever see a media account post something fake, just block them. You won’t have to see what they post ever again. It’s total nonsense. LYN: I also saw that rumor, because some of you sent it to me. They were asking, “Did you get cast for a big role and are keeping it a secret from us? We hear you’re thinking of stepping into the world of movies now.” Amazing. It’s like this, friends, I can totally understand where they’re coming from and why the media wants to create such a stir in the first place. But I took a look at the comments and realized I shouldn’t have come. Do you know why I say so? I forgot who they said I would be acting, but that’s not important- the comments, though. They were saying, “Is LYN worthy? He looks like THAT, how can he play such a character, he’s UNWORTHY! In my heart he doesn’t pass. The production company must be crazy, to have found LYN.” ... Who have I offended?!? I mean, if I AUDITIONED that would be fine. I tried, I got cursed out. I’ll admit it. But I DIDN’T EVEN TRY, why are you cursing at me?? /continues complaining for a bit/ - /grabs something to snack on, to “quell his anger”/ LYN I’m joking (about the anger). This type of thing.. I’m used to it already. I’m not trying to make you pity me. For the past couple of years I’ve been cursed at so much that I’m used to it. It doesn’t matter anymore. As for “being angry”, I’m not really. I just want to make it into a joke for my streams so everyone can have fun with me. 

C: Are you watching CLJ? LYN: Honestly I haven’t yet. I’ve seen the first couple of episodes and some clips. Because they wanted me to sing the OST, so they showed me the clips and told me the story, so I could get the mood right. Most OSTs are like this- so if you’re in charge of the emotional song, you have to know what to get emotional ABOUT. If two people are in love, then I’d sing more happily. If after going through tough times and bitter trials together and then they end up in love, then I’d sing with more angst in the middle and end it happily. No matter what song, if you’re singing an OST it’s going to be FOR the drama. So I’ve seen some things before the drama aired, and when I saw them I really knew this drama would be popular. LYN: I really haven’t watched anything lately. The last thing I watched was SYXSSYX. Before that was CGX... and before that was UN... and before THAT was HBY. C: I’d be a fool to believe you. LYN: It’s true! I don’t have time, but also if I watch a drama I tend to get invested. If I have to shoot the drama during the day and then go home and rehearse and go over my lines for the next day, AND watch dramas on top of that? I’d be done for. So I don’t have much time to invest in watching dramas, and I tend to watch movies more. 

C: When will you be in a xianxia? LYN: I don’t know- no xianxia dramas have come to find me. When the time comes I might give it a try, though. 

C: Did you go back to your hometown? LYN: I didn’t go, when would I have had the time?? I’ve been out working. With the internet these days it’s a lot easier to keep in contact with home though. It’s not like the old days where you would only really call on a holiday- it’s so much more convenient to make calls now. After I started this line of work every year I fly to so many cities, but I feel like they’re all the same. I don’t get the feeling like I’m IN a different city. The only difference is that it’s hotter in Chengdu. I thought Dunhuang would be a lot hotter, but it’s actually about 10 degrees cooler here.

 - /trending/ LYN: I don’t believe it. There’s no way. Let me take a look. XD - /checking out what the comments are/ LYN: Can you all post things intellectual things, or things that can make me happy? It’s like you’re using it as your diary. (posting what they’re doing, what they’re eating, etc.) // Oh, I’m communicating with you on both sides (real-time stream and trending topic comments) C: An intellectual comment: 1 + 1 = 2 LYN: LOL. You’re at this level of intellect and people are still saying they don’t want to study? GO TO SCHOOL! X’D - /his snack, because he’s hungry: chicken cutlets/

C: Liu Yuning-laoshi. I saw you and OO actor were going to work on something called 错撩. Is it true? LYN: This person must be new. You’re the laoshi, please call me Xiao Liu is fine. If you’re not close to me you can call me Xiao Liu or Xiao Ning, either is good. Firstly, the fact that I am able to work with any other actor is my honor. I have to give them a bow, for being accepting of and wanting to work with me. But right now I am working on YNGS, and I haven’t yet signed with any other drama for after.  LYN: But I have to thank some of the gossip blogs for including me in the cast list for some dramas. Even though my fans are in the comments telling them not to bait me; but some of these dramas are not bad. If I can be associated with these dramas then that means that in their (the media/gossip blog’s) heart I AM somebody. When people stop mentioning you altogether then you’d really be miserable. But in the case of the type that I refuted before- don’t even bother mentioning me. That’s not baiting, that’s considered playing me. 

- /promo pics have been taken for YNGS, we can look forward to seeing them/ - /if you cast LYN in your drama you get an actor and an OST singer as a package deal; if he gets offered for more than 1 song on 1 drama, he’ll request that the other be a collab with the other actor(s)/ LYN: Once I’m a little more close/familiar with Liu Shishi-laoshi, I’ll see if I can fool her into doing a collab song with me. C: But didn’t you say that for collabs the production has to dish out twice the amount of money? (to pay each singer) LYN: Yeah. But our production company has money~ /smug/ C: “Fool her” is an interesting term... LYN: I was just using it as a description.

- /all his other contracts have pretty much come to their end (with renewals in discussion, prob), so he has nothing to worry about other than drama filming right now./ - /someone asked what a “business collab” was, so LYN is defining it: a brand spokesperson, spokesmodel, ambassador, etc.; each “title” does seem to have a different salary :p/ - /doesn’t have any intention of getting Daimi any brand collabs; she got a trim in Chengdu and looks cute but most hotels don’t allow pets so she’s living with the RV driver and they can reunite (as in live together again) later in Hengdian./

C: Do you not work? LYN: ?? I don’t know what happened- someone suddenly came in and asked this question. You’re right. I don’t have work. That’s why I’m able to sit here and stream. I really don’t have work. That’s why when I go places and they ask me to fill out a survey I always write “freelancer” in the employment section. So the fact that you’re saying I don’t have work is true, there’s nothing wrong with saying it.

- /someone typing a bunch of drama names and asking LYN if he’ll sing OSTs for them. Even if he HAS sung the OST, it’s not convenient for him to reveal that information./ LYN: But the majority (of the ones you listed) haven’t come to ask me. :p It’s alright, it’s not important.  LYN: I know I always say that (it’s not important) in my streams, but that’s not true. I’m also picky with which dramas and which songs I choose to do. A lot of projects and songs have come in for me. But usually with songs they will send a demo first and after I listen to it, if it doesn’t strike my fancy I don’t pick it up. The money doesn’t matter to me. Even if I keep at it, my profession is still the same- I will always be a singer (whether he HAS songs or not). My bottom line (standards) for what I act and what I sing has to be firm, because these two things can determine how far I go. - /requirements for brand collabs: in general. has to be something he acknowledges/thinks is useful and his fans will use/

C: Is there any schedule to the streams. LYN: No but I try to stream at least once every 7-10 days. I wanted to stream four or more times a month. But lately I’ve been busier with drama filming. I was supposed to take a good rest today but I thought I hadn’t streamed in a long time, so now here I am. We’ll be doing more scenes later and I don’t think I would have the time otherwise. The crew starts off really early- starting at 6am in hair and makeup, but to even GET THERE you’d have to wake up even earlier to freshen up and be on your way.  - /at least two hours in hair and makeup, an hour to get to location, then wardrobe and touching up of hair/makeup... the crew gets up at 5am and only start filming at 10a. the prep period is very extensive./

- /he’s trending at 41, which quickly climbed to 35/ LYN: Friends, I think I need to go touch-up my makeup. /laughs/ When I’m streaming AND on the trending list, this is when people are coming in en masse to check out my stream and discover that it’s in progress. -ING. Right now. And if they see me and see that I look just average... they’re likely to close the window and leave. XD C: Turn the beauty filter up. LYN: 去你的! C: Quickly, turn it up. Save yourself. LYN: Are we in a society that places so much importance on the face? We can’t make people stay with our talents? Let me sing a song. I’ll use music to make them stay. -- /starts warbling 黑夜一束光/ C: If you sing they’ll run away. LYN: ?! What do you mean. You’ll affect my OST marketability. No nonsense, now. Stop messing around.  -- /共度 (My Sassy Princess OST); messes up the tempo (sang too slow)/ LYN: Whose song is this?! Why is it so unfamiliar??? Let me try again. I’m unfamiliar- Whose song is this? This is my first time singing this song. XD Let me try again. I’m sorry. -- /共度 (My Sassy Princess OST) [Take 2]/ LYN: My throat’s too dry. Whelp. I wanted to use a song to lure in a bunch of customers but I didn’t execute it well.  C: Is there something wrong with the mic? LYN: Yes. There’s something wrong with it. All of a sudden it stopped picking up sound! C: The connection is bad. LYN: Yes, right.  LYN: XD You’re such good friends. Real fans. I told you before that if I ever sang subpar to blame it on the mic and you really did that for me.  C: You were pretending to be bad at it. LYN: No no. I really did stutter. - /sings the other half of 寻一个你, inserts a line he heard from the MV/

C: Do your neighbors find you noisy? LYN: It’s like this... uh.... I’m in the basement right now. I don’t know about any of you from the South, but in the North it’s very cold in the winter and it’s difficult to get fresh vegetables. So in the fall we will buy root vegetables and thing that can last a while and toss them into the basement. It’s like a natural refrigerator and there’s little airflow so they won’t go bad as fast. So yeah, I’m streaming from the basement. I’m a napa cabbage. C: There’s such a big window in the basement? LYN: Where do you see a window?? Oh, you mean this (the curtains)- no, it’s covering up a big pile of rice. Anyway, I don’t do any thing that really disturbs my neighbors. It’s well within what they are able to handle. Usually my neighbors are disturbing ME. Oh, wait a sec- see? Speak of the devil.

-- bathroom break (his neighbors are fighting) - /his topic has risen to 24 now :)/

C: You really went to stop a fight? LYN: Of course. I never lie. :p

LYN: I see a lot of people coming in and saying “OOO stop watching.” Because weibo has a function where if someone follows me they will be notified of my stream; And if you are watching my stream, it will notify your friends that you are watching. So people like to come in to tell friends to stop. These friends probably aren’t very familiar with me, otherwise they wouldn’t say so. It’s not like all I say is nonsense. If I say anything out of line people will edit it out and spread it. So nowadays I don’t dare to say anything. Whatever. The point I was just trying to make was that my stream had completely normal content. People won’t learn any bad habits here, so you can rest assured and let your kid watch. It’s alright, really.

LYN: I originally intended to tell you fun things about being in the entertainment industry but now it’s gotten... uncomfortable. I was thinking- because I’m very different from your average artist. Before I was an artist I was just a small singer with a small group of fans, and they all knew my origins. This group of fans told me to become an artist, and pushed me to debut as a singer. It was later that I myself wanted to be an actor, but from the very start they were backing me so I decided to do it. After I debuted, my goal was- since a lot of people had unfulfilled dreams of becoming a singer- to take their dreams with me. I had my fans to start, so I would take them with me and share my experiences in this industry with them. Everything they’d never heard of and never seen. I wanted to share, because you rarely hear anyone talk the ins and outs of it. C: I’m crying. LYN: Don’t cry. Be brave. Stand up.  LYN: Now it’s difficult for me to say things. I used to think these were things I could just tell you. But now it seems like people are protecting these secrets, and don’t want me to tell. There are also people who think that because I am part of the entertainment circle, I don’t have the right to comment on it. As if they- who are NOT part of the entertainment circle- can. // So I decided that I won’t say anything for now. I told my fans to wait until I’m 60 and then I’ll do a tell-all. I’ll let you have it all, in detail. But now is time for me to make a living and even though I don’t necessarily want to climb any ladders, sometimes just living a stable life is enough.  LYN: I’ll see fans say to themselves, “Whenever Ning-ge says he’ll reveal something when he’s 60 I get sad” and I’ll wonder why, but find out they answer this question, “...because I am already 30+ years old.” Some of my fans are even older than that.. they’re just afraid they won’t live to see the day I’m 60! I don’t think you have to worry about this, so early. Medicine is good and technology is good, so we will all live a long life, okay? I don’t even know where I’ll be tomorrow, let’s not worry about when I’m 60. LYN: How about this- let’s all make a pact to start exercising (and getting healthy). If you do that, I’ll raise the tell-all up to when I’m 50 instead. - /people revealing they are in their teens, still (15-17)/ LYN: You can’t phase me. You might be young but you still don’t qualify to join my fan-club (18+ years only). Ey! You young people have your happiness, and us older folk have ours.

- /reminds viewers that the present-gifting system has been closed, only free options are available; but if you really want to support Ning-ge you could buy from brands that he is spokesperson for (generally all daily necessities)/

C: Ning-ge, I’m a passerby but I’m on the verge of becoming part of your fanclub. LYN: ?_? What do you mean by this? Are you complimenting me, or leading me on? I don’t understand.  You’re ALMOST part of my fanclub- what are you missing? You can tell me. What are you lacking, that’s preventing you from fully being my fan? C: Visuals. LYN: ;w; /sigh/ You can’t have these standards on physicality- it’s like saying I’m lacking 1-2cm in height. You’re going to make someone die of anger. There’s no way I’m growing any taller. As for my visuals, there are no more degrees left to become more handsome by. Right now you’re seeing me at the height of my visuals in this industry. There’s nothing else I can do. If you wanted me to work on my singing or my acting, there’s room for improvement there. But my visuals?? I can only turn my beauty filter settings up higher. Is the distance between us boil down to degrees on a filter setting? It’s at 30 right now so if I turn it up to 50, then you’ll completely be my fan right? It turns out this world still looks at appearances. LYN: I’m a pretty confident person overall, because I always put myself down when I was little and grew confidence in myself over time. But the one thing I still have no confidence in is my looks. If I see others and think they are handsome/pretty I will tell them; but if they say the same to me I will deflect, because I honestly really don’t think I am. Some people will see this deflection as me trying to fish for compliments, but I’m really not!

C: Fang Yilun went on Call Me By Fire. LYN: What does that have to do with me? Let him go, have fun.  C: Why didn’t you go? LYN: Is that even a question? Why do I HAVE to go?? I’m filming right now, I have other work to do. There is no show out there that you should or should not go to. What show out there SHOULD I (be expected to) go to- other than food programs? I haven’t been going on variety shows lately because I want to put my focus on my acting, that’s all.

LYN: Also, I just want to say... sometimes happiness comes from thinking that two people make a good couple. I know that you see two people interact and work well with each other and then start to make it out to be something real. You start to micro-analyze every interaction, every glance, every breath, every movement between the two. But the truth really is not how you imagine it sometimes. In a lot of dramas you may see that two people are grossly in love with each other, but in reality the two actors are indifferent to one another. So I just wanted to say: keep your happiness in your heart, alright? As long as you keep it there, it will always be beautiful. But when you learn the truth, you will know that your happiness is gone. So please don’t spam my comments with you understandings, and don’t post to other places that may not understand/agree with your views. LYN: I don’t care who you ship, because that’s your personal preference. But please don’t come here asking if any CPs are real, because there’s really no way I can tell you. If it IS real, I can’t tell you. If it ISN’T real, I don’t think you would take the news well. So if you really want to know if a CP is real or not, just wait until the day they get married and then you’ll know for real.

C: Do you have abs yet? LYN: Everyone has abs. It’s just a matter that for most, their abs are covered by their fat. It’s just like me having small eyes? Do I HAVE eyes? Yes, but they just happen to be small. So from a physiological standpoint, everyone has abs, just like how everyone has eyes. I definitely HAVE abs, but whether they have appeared or not is something I can’t tell you. C: How many pieces can you see? LYN: I can’t tell you. I can’t let you imagine any sort of picture. LYN: It’s easier for me to gain muscle because I am a pretty thin slice of person. I called myself a “slice”, lol. I’m thin already, so I just need to work on my abdomen. - /but its harder for thin people to gain muscle, because they are weaker and have less musculature to begin with (?)/ - /says that he’ll find time to work out because it can become addicting once it’s made into a habit/

- /gets called away for COVID testing; people think it’s an excuse to use the restroom XD/

C: It would be so nice if FYL could stream with you. LYN: He’s living on the floor below mine, should I call him and see if he has time to come up? I can interview him on this thoughts about Call Me By Fire. LYN: I think the kid’s busy. It’s okay, we’ll try again next time. 

C: What type of drama is YNGS? LYN: I’m not confident in telling you what type of drama it is exactly, but I can tell you it’s a guzhuang drama. 

- /FYL called back/ LYN: I was streaming and people were telling me to call you up to play.  FYL: I was just watching your stream! LYN: Why weren’t you using your main account? FYL: I was! LYN: Then why didn’t anyone in my streaming room tell me, are you really so unpopular now? I don’t believe it. How could you be like that, friends?? Fang Yilun came and no one told me?! FYL: I even left a comment saying that your chicken cutlet look really tasty. I was going to go get some. LYN: I have some left, actually. Come and get it later. FYL: Ok. I’m playing that game we were playing earlier.  LYN: Oh. As actors, how could we be playing games while filming?? Of course we have to be focused on the script! FYL: Am I on speaker? LYN: Yeah. We don’t play games! I was just joking. They wanted me to ask you how you felt being on CMBF. FYL: I feel like the show doesn’t look as good because LYN isn’t there. If he was it’d be even better. LYN: I’m unworthy. But how do you feel being on it? FYL: I’m enjoying it, because while I have a lot more opportunities to act, I have less opportunity to be on stage now. LYN: You debuted as a singer, right? FYL: Yeah. LYN: Let’s hear something from you. FYL: You’ll have to pay me a fee. LYN: Name it! Sing acapella! /laughs because he turned into his second aunt/ I’m joking. C: Let him come up. LYN: Do you want to come up, is it convenient? FYL: In a bit, let me finish this round. LYN: Alright, then I’ll send you the room number and you can come up in a bit.

LYN: FYL came to watch my stream and no one told me about it- how can you all be so ill-mannered? We can’t push our hatred of Wei Shuyu onto the innocent actor.

- /don’t ask about the game because he only played it for a bit in the makeup room and then didn’t have any time to play it again after. XD/ - /doesn’t have much to reveal about the drama, because at most he knows the character’s names. Like how FYL is playing someone called Mao Shiba./ - /his character’s name is Ning Yuanzhou (?)/

C: FYL is a singer?? LYN: See- when you don’t know a person you’d never know what they’ve done before.

C: So many artists and you’re the one who loves streaming the most. LYN: It’s not that I love streaming, it’s that I love my fans. That is part of it, but also for me- I think that there are much more better looking people than me out there. There are plenty of people who can act and sing better than I can, too. Why was I able to be an artist, then? It’s not because of how amazing I am, but because I have fans. I always remember that without them I wouldn’t be here today. I want them to have the best experience they can of me in this industry. As long as I am following the rules of this industry, I want to give them the sense that I am a real, living person. I think the fact that I am able to stream and chat and tell you about the bathhouses in Dongbei is fun. I think it’s something I am able and should be giving them. I want you to have such a unique experience being my fan that when you leave me for someone else you will eventually find it lacking.  LYN: But I really also love streaming. Because I think that a lot of young people may not have a lot of friends in life. I don’t know about you, but I am like that. I have few friends, and even if you DO have a lot of friends I bet not so many that you’ve kept contact with for a long period of time. Right? Unless you work together or you go to school together or there is some circumstance that let’s you see each other often, after you leave these environments where you are sharing time, you will start to lose contact. Everyone is a little lonely. I am, too. My work schedule is fixed- for example, I’m in Dunhuang right now, so I can’t have a meal with friends- but I have a lot of friends on the internet. I can chat with them, and I can give them a little happiness, which is the most important. To me, streaming is a way of relaxing and communicating with my friends. It’s how I get in touch with the world and society. LYN: I think that as an actor, you have to have your own life and to have come in contact with all walks of life. [So you can relate to the roles you have to play, because if you don’t know what it’s like to not even afford to eat, for example, there’s no way you can act it out.] As an actor you have to have a life and to have experienced life. That’s why I’m grateful for my experience in the restaurant washing dishes, serving dishes, and pouring people water. It let me know what it is to be human. It let me know what it feels like to be a person who is working their hardest in order to make a living and survive. I’m thankful for those hard times I went through for showing me humanity. But now that I’m an artist, it’s honestly become a lot more inconvenient, because every time I go downstairs I see a group of familiar faces. I feel like I’m being monitored. But I know why they do it- they do it out of love, so they’re willing to keep watch over you every day. I’m unable to experience the world the way I used to, is all. But through streaming I can see the world again- through your words I can tell your age and how you speak and you views of the world.

- /people asking about future plans/ LYN: I’m going to focus on the drama for the next five months, so I’m pretty much not signing up for anything until it’s over. There are some programs that I will go to if I have the time, but any shows that I can put off I will not go to. 

C: Can you chat about The Oasis? LYN: Yeah! I did a little earlier, you just came too late. The Oasis is a sibling program to The Truth, so for that moment I had the time to spend two-days representing The Truth Team. The thing was that there was someone I knew there- I know YCY pretty well. Usually for these special guest things I won’t go- because I don’t see a lot of meaning in doing do. It’d be alright if you were close/familiar with everyone... but to go and PRETEND you know everyone... is uncomfortable. You also have to work really hard to insert yourself into their group dynamics, which is also difficult. I’ll feel like not only do I have to integrate myself, I have to do it with a smile on my face. It’s hard. That’s why I try to avoid being a special/last minute guest on things. It might not sound very nice, but those are my true thoughts. But for The Oasis, not only was it a reliable production, it was for two days. If I’m awkward on the first day, I still have the second to make up for it. XD 

- /explains how he knows OF the other guests, of course, but has never worked with them directly before, other than YCY. He thought that she would be able to help him around but when he got there she didn’t care about him./ LYN: I thought too much. :’( I thought that if she was there, she would be able to help make introductions and etc., but she pretty much didn’t care for me at all. I forgive her, though. She played pretty happily.  C: Chaoyue-meimei didn’t know what was going on either. LYN: It’s true. I thought she would be able to help me, but even SHE was confused by the rules of the game. But it was fun to film a couple episodes and get to know people. In the end I feel like I ran out of time, because I had to go back to shoot The Truth. It was fun though. All the guests are smart and the recording process went smoothly. 

C: Is your back ok? LYN: It’s alright, but I fell so hard the mic went flying. It hurt for a couple days after, but “men have to fight (爷们儿要战斗).”

C: Do variety shows have scripts? LYN: Depends on the type of show and by person, I guess. I don’t know about which variety shows you’re talking about, but since I’ve debuted none of the shows I went on had a script. There aren’t scripted arguments, like there were in shows before. Now we’re all about the group unity. It doesn’t require much design. The games, obviously require some design though- because you need to know the rules of the game and how to play it. Otherwise they don’t much have scripts. 

C: Did you really live on The Oasis? LYN: ... Next question. I don’t know because I’m sleeping and not watching other people sleep. As far as I know, Chaoyue really slept in her tent. I even asked her if she was scared or not, and she said it was fine.  C: Ning-ge, you said Chaoyue slept there... then what about everyone else...? LYN: I don’t know, because I don’t know their habits. Don’t make any assumptions about me, here! You must be crazy. I’m treating you like a friend by telling you these things, but are you trying to ruin me?? Are you even human?! You’re the type of friend who will start recording the conversation when a group of your friends get together (for blackmail material).

C: Is it a real place? LYN: It IS a real, huge island-like place. It was designed very well. 

C: Why isn’t Wei Shuyu coming? LYN: His agency probably won’t let him come. In case we destroy his image.  LYN: He said he’s not coming. They won’t allow it. In case I teach him bad things. I’m joking. He’s been lying in bed all day and doesn’t want to get up. He’ll come next time.

C: Can you reveal anything about YNGS? LYN: There’s nothing to reveal, really? But I think it’s going to be good. :) Everything I’ve seen so far is nice. I’ve seen a lot, so when I say something will be good, you can trust that it’s good. CLJ is airing pretty nicely these days, right? Before the drama aired, the OST MV was released and YSX sent me a message saying, “Ge- this song is too good! Listening to your song while watching my scenes, I was moved.” I told her her, “As long as you like it.” and “I saw the trailer for your drama, it’s going to be hot.” It hadn’t aired yet and I told her that. I like to play games, so when I saw the special effects I knew that the production quality was going to be great.  LYN: The CLJ cast also did a livestream and they did ask me to participate but I had drama filming to do.

LYN: There’s something I really want to talk to you about but at the same time when I run through it in my head I’ll think that the topic is too sensitive and then I don’t want to share anymore. I just really want to tell you about this thing, but I don’t know if I should. C: Let it out. LYN: I said before that some deals are discussed over a meal. That sometimes work comes to me because I go out for a meal with someone and when we get to chatting about projects, they might give me a role. The problem with phrasing it that way is that now some people ridicule me and think that I am the type of person who will eat meals with others just to find work. You can ridicule me, that’s fine. But for the people who are skeptical that work can be found from having a meal with someone else... you are probably on the younger side. You’re not going to talk shop at the dinner table, and whatever is brought up requires a lot of effort after-the-fact to make it actually happen. LYN: I just want to say, though- have you never heard of the phrase “民以食为天 ( food is the god of the people; food first, ethical niceties second)”? I think having a meal together, in my experience, is an important ritual. You’ll tell your closest friend to have a meal at your house, right? Eating together is an important and principle event, which is different from fun and entertainment like going to a KTV would be. It’s a formal affair. Otherwise why else would the emperors get their courts together and hold such grand feasts? Having a meal together is a formal affair that is perfectly suited for discussing matters. You might not know because you are young now, but when you are older you’ll understand. LYN: Just like with my studio- when someone finds me to discuss a contract, they will set the location for a cafe. A public space where we can talk about work. I can also go straight to some company’s headquarters to discuss work, but there’s no real need for that because practically, their company could located be very far. When you enter into society, you’ll learn that discussing work over a meal is a very normal thing. The dinner table is not a bad location- as the Chinese people say, “Food is the God of the people.” It’s not like yo’ll tell your friend, “Hey, come to my house to wash up.” Or any other thing- it’s going to be, “Come to my house to have a meal.” Having a meal is a very common etiquette, and there’s no need to give it such a bad connotation. Usually the work is discussed in one place, but of course the signing of contracts will take place in another. I hope you can take that to heart and not be against people discussing work over a meal. LYN: We’re not there to have food and drinks to butter up to the Director. It’s just another workplace gathering- we’re there to eat, and maybe discuss some work. It’s just that simple.  C: Ning-ge is giving students a lesson. LYN: I’m not really. It’s just that the words that come out of some people’s mouths show that they have yet to enter society and are still living in a carefree and worry-free world. I don’t think there’s any need to let them keep living like that. It’s better for them to know earlier on. I’m not here to lecture anyone, I just wanted to let you know.

LYN: I used to think that people were listening to my streams without any ill-intent, so I would relax and just chat, and tell things to you as a fun story. I just didn’t think anyone would take it at face value and turn it into a big issue. 

LYN: For a while now I’ve been thinking about how I love to watch dramas/movies. I loved watching dramas growing up. But I don’t know if it’s because I am part of this industry now or what, I don’t find movies as enjoyable as I used to. Everything is advancing- location, props, special effects, filming techniques, etc. It’s all advancing, but I don’t know why I don’t get the same feeling as I do when watching older productions. That’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while.  C: The scripts are improving? LYN: I don’t think that’s it. If you take some old scripts out now they’d be total trash in comparison. It’s just that during their time you won’t think they’re trash, but think they have a point. For instance there are some lines of dialogue that would be terrible now but were really in-character for the time. I don’t really understand it. C: There was less (quantity) back then. LYN: I don’t think there were less... I thought about it and I think that people’s mindsets have changed. When I was little and watching these dramas, I really enjoyed the life they were depicting, and wanted that life for me. In reality I was just a normal person, but if I were like the person in the drama I could be a hero, I could be a part of the martial arts world, and not have to think about anything. When I got to the end of the drama, I really hated watching the last episodes, because I made myself a part of that world and I didn’t want it to end. I think a lot of people feel the same way for even modern dramas. When I was little I didn’t have many thoughts and didn’t experience much of the world- but now when I watch dramas I have a sense of I can’t say skepticism or judgement... but I will watch ridicule? I don’t know how to describe it. I’m not as absorbed as I used to be- I will stand at a farther point to look at the bigger picture. Sometimes I’ll think, “This doesn’t make sense. What nonsense is that??” or “How can people fly?” or “How could they say that? This person killed this other person’s father, how could they fall in love? There’s no way.” Do you understand? My mindset changed, so I have a lot less happiness now.  [t/n: aka being an adult sucks all the joy out of life...]

C: Stop talking. LYN: Then you come you come up and talk. I’ll connect with you and you can share. I’m not even commenting on the industry, this is just my personal viewing experience. I can’t even talk about that? LYN: But I think this is why I don’t enjoy dramas as often anymore. Movies are still okay. // I’ll watch LYN’s dramas, though! I have to. I’ll watch my own dramas and variety shows. It’s not being narcissistic.. I’ve already watched the dramas once before, but why do I want to watch again? I watch myself in more detail, to see where I did well and where I need improvement. I’ll open the comments to see how the viewers are liking it, and their opinions on the characters. I’m monitoring myself, basically. 

- /comments want him to show play one of his dramas on livestream. :p/ LYN: I can’t, because I don’t have the rights. And even if I did have VIP member access, you want me to show you VIP-locked content? You must be crazy.

- /notes how one of his content creators- a video editor- has to look through massive amounts of his content in order to create one of their edits of him. says he’ll pay them in signed autographs. XD/

C: Who’s Liu Yining? LYN: Liu Yining, who? My name is Liu YUning.

C: Why are you always wearing a cap when streaming? LYN: I’m balding. I have no hair up here, and these are fake bangs.

C: You forgot about your (Discovery of Romance) cameo? LYN: Oh, I didn’t know what that character’s name was. It was only one scene, so they could have given me any name they wanted. In the end they gave me the name of “Liu Yining”? Is that right? I forgot.  - /same producer as The Long Ballad, and they invited him to cameo. LYN got to meet Qin Junjie on this drama, then later got to work with him for Floating World./ - /this drama was originally based off of a Korean drama, where this character was played by Yoo Ah In/

C: Which episode are you in? LYN: Probably the last, I’m not sure.

LYN: I got to know a new director, which is nice. I hope I get to work with him sometime in the future. There were some opportunities, but there were schedule conflicts. I remember one of the editors for A Discovery of Romance is my fan. When I got to set the Director introduced them to me and I was thinking, “Wow, Editors are so professional?” Usually when everything gets finished with filming they sent it to editors to start production. They don’t usually appear on set at all, but they came out that day. I was confused by as soon as they called me “Lao-da”, I understood (that they were my fan). 

C: Will the second season of The Truth be original cast? LYN: I’m not sure, but I think so. I feel like for this setting you NEED the six of us to come back. I sure hope it will be the original cast. It’s a matter of scheduling, too. The first season... it JUST ended, you’re getting a little ahead of yourself aren’t you? Do you think we’re a long-running weekly variety show?? We don’t general script to stick to. C: Variety shows have scripts? LYN: The Truth does. We’re just there to act in our given roles. For this, there is a script to follow. There’s also the creation of the cases and the building of the space, all these logistical things to get set first. The very last step is to find artists to fill the roles. 

- /going to stream for another hour/

- /talking about the foods he’s eating in Dunhuang: more lamb, bought some local specialities on his way back to the hotel to eat, including camel milk candies/ C: How does it taste? LYN: Let me try one. Even if it doesn’t taste good I’m not going to SAY it. - /chewing on the candy in contemplative silence/ LYN: Let me try to describe its flavor. You don’t need to ask me if it’s sticking to my teeth because this type of candy always does. It’s not a very smooth texture, but a little grainy- it’s not bad, certainly still palatable. As for the flavor, you can’t really tell what type of milk it is. I think it tastes like any other milk (maybe more strong than usual), but with a sort of texture that tofu gives you. C: Is it sweet? LYN: It’s pure sugar. Like all milk candies/taffies. It doesn’t taste bad, but I was just thinking it would be more unique. 

C: Grapes from Dunhuang are sweet. LYN: Don’t even get me started- Dunhuang grapes are sweet! I’ve never eaten such sweet grapes before. A friend came to see me and brought these small green grapes- I was eating them like crazy. They were very small, very sweet, so delicious. 

LYN: Another thing is- I want to ask- how much are watermelons where you live? If your mom is always doing the shopping so you don’t know, then pretend I didn’t ask. But can you tell me what city you’re in, and how much your watermelons go for per kg? I want to see. C: 1-2R / 3R / 4R / 2+R / 50 cents / 5R / 2.60R / grow them at home LYN: Look at you, plant your melons and eat them too! I remember I told you all that I had bought a watermelon in Hengdian and spent 98RMB for it. It wasn’t a very good melon or a special variety- it was just a normal melon. Friends, in Dunhuang, watermelons are 2RMB... for a whole melon. A WHOLE MELON. C: No way. LYN: I’m not kidding you. I was so happy. It was this big (makes the shape with his hands) and about 7-8kg. The first day we came here we asked how much the melons were per kg and they said 50 cents. 50 cents for 1kg of watermelon is already unbelievable. I remember the fruit stall outside my elementary school had watermelon for 10 cents a kg, but I ever since I grew up I’ve never heard anyone say a watermelon is 50 cents per kg. I was thinking that when it’s time for me to leave Dunhuang, I’m going to do it towing a basket of watermelon with me. C: Come back and sell it for a higher price. LYN: It’s not worth it. It won’t even cover the gas price alone. But the RV has to go back anyway- I won’t buy too many. Maybe 10-20 melons? I can share them with my friends in Hengdian. It’s not a valuable item, but the sentiment behind it is. 

C: Ning-ge, now we’re not your friends anymore? [trying to get free watermelon] LYN: You mean I usually say that my fans are my friends and family, but when it comes to sending watermelons, you don’t count? Don’t make trouble for me.  LYN: How about this- I can’t give each one of you a watermelon, so let’s pick three lucky winners and I’ll buy a watermelon for them. How does that sound? Of course, these watermelons aren’t coming from Dunhuang. Go to your local market to buy a watermelon and contact my studio with the receipt and I’ll reimburse you. C: Ning-ge, I was listening to you talk about it so I took my watermelon out of the fridge. LYN: Eat some melon. Especially because the weather is hot, so eating melon will cool you down.  C: Aiya, my watermelons are so expensive. LYN: Tell me where you are, how expensive can they be? Do you think that I and my Modern Brothers Liu Yuning Studio (!) cannot afford to buy you a single watermelon?? Don’t mess with me! But the caveat is you have to be chosen as a winner first.

C: When are you picking winners? LYN: You really want me to?? Some of my friends are very nice- there are people who always watch my streams but never interact. They never type any comments. They’ll just open my stream and leave it to play while working on their own things, and maybe look over once in a while. /looks into the camera/ I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU! What are you looking at. I mean you, who never interacts with me. /tsk/ They heard I was going to send you takeout, and decided to forgo the lottery, because they aren’t lacking in some money for takeout. But then I said that if you didn’t want the money you could exchange it for an autograph. At that moment, they knew regret. If I has said so earlier, then they also would have jumped for the chance to win the raffle. XD LYN: If you haven’t subscribed to my weibo yet, please do so. You can take this opportunity to win a lucky watermelon. LYN: Alright then, let’s pick. What should the code be? Ning-ge... /laughs/  “I want to eat watermelon, Ning-ge looks like a frog.” (我想吃西瓜 宁哥像青蛙) That’s not good... >.<; C: How about you give away the milk candy too? LYN: It wasn’t cheap. This bag was 38RMB. I won’t give them away. - /picks three six lucky watermelon winners, no chance of switching to an autograph this time/

C: Will you give mooncakes for the Mid-Autumn Festival? LYN: Um... I can. Wait a minute- do I HAVE to give you something or you won’t watch my stream otherwise or what? It looks like I’m buying you off. - /tells how he used to have friends who worked for companies that, around Mid-Autumn Festival, would require their employees to sell a certain amount of mooncakes otherwise not get yearly bonus/raises. Ended up buying 30-40 boxes of his friend’s cheapest option (at 188RMB a box), and giving them them to his drama crew./

C: Ning-ge, I’m a student can I have your autograph? LYN: There are no pre-requisites to wanting my autograph, so don’t try to pull the student-card. It doesn’t matter if you’re a student or a three-five year old kid. My autographs are free. There’s no way to guarantee one- there’ll be plenty of opportunities. I remember there was someone today who said they were ALMOST my fan. They don’t even get an autograph. C: Ning-ge, I’m pregnant. Can I have an autograph? LYN: Go ask you husband, what does that have to do with me? Why should I?? Is my stream like a public bus, there are priority seating for pregnant women? I know we should respect the elderly and help the disabled/pregnant but this doesn’t apply to getting autographs!

C: Ning-ge, I went on PDD and bought you autographed pillow. LYN: Oh, PDD has signed products? I didn’t know- they didn’t discuss it with me. But as to whether it’s authentic or not, 仁者见仁，智者见智 (the benevolent sees benevolence and the wise see wisdom). You can think about it. LYN: It’s like walking into a Dongbei restaurant and asking the owner if their Mouth-watering Chicken (口水鸡) [a Sichuan dish] is authentic. Or you walk into a Sichuan restaurant and ask them if their spaghetti is authentic. How would it be???

- /comments saying a “Wang-zhong” has come” LYN: Which one? There are many “Wang-zhongs”s in my life. Let me take a look. // Oh. It’s the most important, most respected “Wang-zhong.” I thought it was someone else, but it was the most important “Wang-zhong” I’ve met in my life. Welcome.  LYN: It’s the “Searching for You” Wang-zhong. (The producer?? IDK.) C: The boss is here, you’re not going to sing? LYN: What- did he give me presents or what?? I’m just saying IF the present-gifting option was open or if he gave me a- gave me a... (red packet), then I’d sing for him. But /shrug/ he just came to see me, what do I need to indulge him for? I already sang the song twice today, is that not enough? - /promotes himself as a good buy for OSTs, because not only do you get him to sing it, he will also promote the song afterwards/ C: Wang-zhong is here, you’re not going to give him an autograph? LYN: /laughs/ Oh, is that how it is? So if people like Boss Wang come, I have to send them my autograph? Am I crazy? For example, next time I see a boss or producer I will go up to them and say, “Hello.  In order to show my respect for you, here is my autograph. Let’s work well together in the future.” ??? I’d come across as a lunatic. C: Give him a watermelon. LYN: That, I can do. In the hopes that he will come find me to sing the OST for his next drama, too. C: Then, when you give him the watermelon you can sign it too.

C: You have another topic trending. LYN: ?! What is it? “LYN says the variety shows he’s recorded don’t have scripts” That’s- that’s a little sensitive. Do my words hold such importance now? Starting it off with “LYN says” seems like there’s some deeper meaning there...  Am I so amazing now, that my words can represent a different meaning altogether?  LYN: I think some media accounts are still good though. Do you remember that topic called, “Say Psycho, Who’s a Psycho”? That started off as a media post trying to stir up traffic. But who knew that because of their post, I would end up trending at #2 on the hot search. I think it was Orange Entertainment (Ju Zi Yu Le), right? I remember. If I have anything I need to promote in the future, I will hire them to do it. Any accounts that post hate-material on me, I will remember them and NEVER contact them if I have any future project going on. I’ll tell my friends not to use them either. C: You have a small notebook and secretly keep track? LYN: I don’t secretly keep track- I do it out in the open.

C: Ning-ge, are your bangs real or fake? LYN: 去你的! Earlier someone asked me why I always wear a cap and I told them it was because I was balding and I had fake bangs. Now you’re coming here asking if they’re real?! How can you be so easy to trick? Don’t mess around, I still have some brand endorsements going. It’s just that I haven’t washed my hair today and it doesn’t have a shape.

LYN: “LYN says the variety shows he’s recorded don’t have scripts” but I also said that The Truth HAS a script. Otherwise we’d be playing a Murder Mystery with no mystery??? That won’t do.

C: I saw the trending topic and came back in. LYN: What- so you already left once??  - /promoting his stream to people who are just coming in, and telling them about the incentives (raffles) if they subscribe/

C: I’m going to start military academy (?) soon, what should I prepare? LYN: Go ask your mom, what are you asking me for? Maybe some comfortable shoes, and some sunblock. Prep some water, since you’d be more tired. // I don’t say to use sunscreen because I want to look nice and am afraid of getting tan. Being tan is not scary- what’s scary is that after long exposure your skin is going to age a lot faster. You don’t want that to happen, so proper protection from the sun is a must.  C: Mosquito repellent. LYN: Doesn’t academy usually take place during the day, though? It’s fine, right?

C: Ning-ge, you don’t tan. LYN: You’re wrong. I tan really easily. When I was shooting The Long Ballad I got really tanned, then. I didn’t know about sunblock then, because I thought it was a girly thing to apply. Very unmanly, because “men have to fight” (爷们儿要战斗). I had never applied to before, even though I had other the other makeup applied. But after The Long Ballad- I was so tan. My fans saw me at the airport and said that my neck was so dark it was shining. LYN: I was out of the sun for a while when shooting for Heroes, but then I was in the sun again for Floating World. If Hao Du was outside chasing people down, Zuo Bufan was out hiding from being chased down. I don’t remember, I think it was a variety show, but my hand and arm were two different shades. Now we’re in Dunhuang with the sun shining down upon us, so I’ve taken to applying sunscreen every day. But you have to re-apply it every two hours or so which is troublesome. - /it doesn’t work for a very tan person to wear lighter foundation, otherwise you’d “look like a zombie”/ C: It’s alright. All men are dark. LYN: /sigh/ Before there was the whole concept of “LYN says”. I probably would refute it, but ever since “LYN says” came to light I don’t dare to. You’re right. It’s okay for men to be tan. Because “men have to fight”! LYN: But I just wanted to say that what makes someone “manly” doesn’t depend on their appearance. It depends on their heart. Some people might look weak but do things with dependency and responsibility- that’s being a man. But if you look strong, dark, and manly but you stay at home beating your wife then that’s not a real man. You can’t judge based on appearance, but by someone’s actions. 

LYN: This brings me back around to a different matter: people are always saying I’m just internet famous. It’s inexplicable. You can call me that, it doesn’t matter. But since I debuted, have I ever done something an “internet famous” person would do? I want to ask- what is it I did. Did I promote products or what? What did I do to make you call me “internet famous”? C: Livestream. LYN: I’ve closed the gifting system. If everyone who streams is internet famous, then why aren’t you calling every other streamer “internet famous”? There are so many out there who stream AND try to sell you things. 1. My gifting system is closed, I just here to chat, never to take your money. 2. I don’t try to sell you things. I don’t think you can keep using the term “internet famous” without looking at what people have done with it. It’s not like just because that’s how I started off, that’s what I’ll continue to be. I’m a person person from the countryside, but now that I’ve moved to the city and made a life for myself here, it’s not like you’re going to continue saying I’m a country boy, right? LYN: I just want to make terms that have more negative connotations less so. Since I’ve debuted I’ve never done something typical of an “internet famous” individual. If you wanted me to sing at weddings and endorse brands to make money it’s only too easy for me, but I never have. All I’ve done is release music- it’s all my own, and it’s all free- except for the OSTs, because the production company owns those, not me. Is that not enough? How many of your so called “artists” can say the same? I’m betting only very few.

C: How is it working with Liu Shishi-laoshi? LYN: It’s nice. She’s also a very easy going person. Some people are hard to communicate with, but she’s easy to talk to. Before I entered the crew, I asked around for things I should watch out for or avoid doing when working with her. Everyone said that I would have no problem with her, just that she is slow to warm up to people. I thought that was alright, I may look cold but I can be quick to bring up the mood. I can be more proactive in getting in to know her, that was fine. But after getting to know her for two days- she’s not slow to warm up to people! I told her, “Everyone says you’re slow to warm up to people, but I don’t think so??” She said, “Yeah. Before I came into the crew I heard that YOU were slow to warm up to people.” I AM, though. It’s just that I warmed myself up so that we could get to know each other better/faster, but it turned out she was faster than I was! So, it’s very comfortable working with her. LYN: Working together with people is a new experience every time. Because for the circumstances, two people have to be very close/familiar. You don’t have to be intimately familiar, but just on close enough terms that the chemistry and emotions you give each other during a scene works. The viewers are sharp- it doesn’t matter if the two characters are kissing or hugging- they can tell if you’re close or not.

LYN: Alright, it’s about time. C: Ning-ge, keep talking a little longer. I’m listening to you while doing my homework.

C: FYL still isn’t here yet? LYN: Have you been listening? I’m going to kick you out for spamming his name. Some people curse at me and I don’t kick them out, but if you mention him I will kick you out. XD He already said he wasn’t coming- let him rest. He can come play next time. Are you here (in my stream) to see FYL? That’s disappointing. It’s like going to someone’s concert and yelling a different singer’s name entirely. Are you looking for a beating?? XD

C: Ning-ge, when are you holding you next concert? LYN: I don’t know. I won’t hold one for now. I think it’ll be hard in the next couple of years too. Let’s not think about it- it will happen eventually. I’m still a singer, after all. The concert will happen some day. I think I rushed into it- I had only debuted for a year before I started holding my concert. It’s a good thing I did.

- /Orange Entertainment came to check out the stream.LYN backtracks to say that he didn’t mean to call them a (gossip) account, but he just didn’t know how to describe them. His point was that he know he got a trending topic because of them and he is grateful for it, and that he remembers accounts that treat him well. He just wanted to highlight the difference between accounts that mean well (that bring him trending topics) and ones that have ill-will (like the one saying he was going to act as CQL movie ver.’s LWJ./ LYN: Why didn’t they just say I was going to play Sun Wukong? I can’t be Sun Wukong because of my height but maybe a Gibbon version of Sun Wukong.

LYN: Alright, it’s time for me to get organized and go. I need to get up early tomorrow.  - /comments reminds him of the Celestial Dog, from many streams back. XD/ LYN: I hope you had a relaxing and wonderful night. It was great to have you. I’ll see you the next time. Goodnight everyone.