#i am paying for the crimes of my youth

[vivalamusaine]

The older I get the more I hate seeing Grantaire depicted as a twink

[siconetribal]

Put It On My Tab: Chapter 9

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!reader

Tag: @vbecker10 @wordsfromshona @harlequin-hangout @harpy-space @tild3ath @gone-batty-fics @princessbl0ss0m @dakotali

Warning: Threats, Harassment, Discussion of possible links to/interest in criminal activity, and Y/N being a trouble magnet

Summary:

Everyone deserves time off, and the vigilantes of Gotham are no exception to the rule. The boys decide to take a weekend to let loose. Who knew a few drinks would lead to a stranger in bed?

Author Note:

A huge thank you and shout out to @harlequin-hangout for the amazing banners you made for me.

If you’re new to the story, here is a link to the other parts:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

The store was spotless. The last customer had left about half an hour ago. There was nothing else to do, so Y/N took it upon herself to make sure it was pristine and ready for the next night traveler that would grace the establishment. Did she honestly expect anyone to come in? No, but this just meant she had one last thing to do before the shift was through.

“And now, I wait.” She mumbled as hopped up onto the stool behind the counter. It was going to be a boring and hellish shift with so little to do, but that just meant she was getting paid to do nothing. And that is far better than having to deal with some cranky customer. Grabbing her book from under the counter, she dove into the realm that awaited. A place where good, evil, and morally grey collided into a kaleidoscope of brilliant colors of adventure, intrigue, and romance. Within these pages, she was not some minimum wager struggling to make ends meet in some crime-ridden city. Within these bound sheets, she was free…until the chime of the front door pulled her back to reality. Of course, someone comes in just when I thought I’d be doing nothing.

“Well, well, well, look who we have here.” The familiar accented voice made Y/N’s jaw tighten as she slipped her bookmark back into the book and looked up to see none other than Citlalli’s troublesome cousin, Matías, and his posse of trouble. The one who always had some kind of job that would promise big reward, and would definitely get you killed if you were lucky. She could still recall the look on the Penguin's face when he realized he was being had. A look she never wanted to see once in her lifetime, let alone again. 

I’d rather deal with those secret menu drinks and hear the brainless chatter of the overprivileged youth than deal with him. A lobotomy sounds delightful, even. “Welcome, what can I get started for you today?” She plastered on her award-winning customer service smile as she stood from the stool and stepped up to the register.

“C’mon Lindura, don't be like that.” He softly clicked his tongue and reached across the counter to grab her hand. Y/N was quick to pull her arm back to her side.

“I will have to ask you to refrain from reaching across the counter, sir. If you need time for your order, you may do so, but I request you step aside. Anyone who is ready in the group, I am happy to help.”

“Damn, Matty, she’s not playing with you today.” The group snickered.

“Fuck off, that’s just how mi pequeña petardo is.” Matías eyed Y/N and smirked. It made her skin crawl, and she wanted to burn every inch that had the poor luck of being seen by such a leering gaze. “Isn’t that right, Nena? You like playing hard to get, don't worry, I’m not giving up that easy.”

No, please do. Give up, better yet, please walk into a wall however many times it takes for you to completely forget about my existence as a whole. She bit back the retort, reminding herself that she was at work and being recorded. She needed this job to pay off the 4k. “Sir, I'm not "playing ard to get", you're simply impossible to want. I am but a simple café employee working her shift, nothing more. So, what would you like?”

“For you to finally say yes and be mine.” She had to admit it was a smooth answer, but coming from him it was more greasy, like deep fried onion rings fresh out of the fier and still swimming in the oil. Her temple began to throb as the group cheered and encouraged Matías to go on. Emboldened, he leaned over the counter some more and attempted to grab her again. She smacked his hand away and glared.

“Strike two, Matías, keep this up, and I’ll call the cops.” She kept her voice flat as she glared at him. “Now, do you want to order anything or not? If not, get out and leave me alone. I’m not interested in you, your idiotic lackeys, or whatever pitch you're trying to sell.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are talking to us like that, bitch?” The one to Matías’ right snapped, grabbing and tugging her closer by the front of her apron. “Do you know who you’re messing with?” It was obvious from the clothes that he wore and the way he held himself, this guy was a hot headed rich kid trying to be cool.

“Someone with severe halitosis?” She rolled her eyes, trying to tug his hand off of her apron. “Let me go, or you'll regret it.”

“Regret it?” The rich kid scoffed. “How? Gonna call the cops? Then what? Even if we give ya the chance to call them, it’s gonna take time for them to get here. That gives us plenty of time for some fun. Plus my dad knows the commissioner, they can’t do shit” His slimy smug smirk was the last straw. Her free hand gripped the counter edge as she tried to create distance by pulling back as she tugged at his wrist in the opposite direction.

“I’m how.” Everyone turned at the newcomer’s voice, surprised to see that someone else was there at all, since the door had not chimed at someone else coming in.

No way, Wonder Boy?! Y/N’s jaw dropped at the turn of luck of having someone as witness to the harassment.

“And who the fuck are you supposed to be? Piss off and mind your own business.” The tallest of the group stepped forward.

“Guys, settle down.” Matías glared at Jason. There was something unnerving about him, and he knew fighting him as they are now would be a loss on their end. “Joey, let her go.”

“But Matty,” the rich kid turned to their leader to insist, but one look from Matías was all it took for him to back down. “You’re lucky, bitch.” He sneered, shoving her backwards hard enough to send her falling back into the counter behind her. The sharp pain up her spine was hard to ignore, but she refused to give them the satisfaction.

“You’ve misunderstood the situation, my friend! Lindura and I, we go way back. She’s my cousin’s best friend, after all.” He gave Jason a broad smile as he hooked an arm around Joey. “Joey here likes to play rough, we were all just joking around. We were actually in to see our good friend Ryan. He was supposed to be in tonight, which is why we stopped by in the first place. Seeing Lindura was just a big surprise.”

So he was expecting Ryan? Or is he just bluffing and just said the first generic white name he could think of? Y/N eyed Citlalli’s cousin with great suspicion. Her gut was telling her that it was most likely the former, and there was a lot that was not being said. Knowing what she did about him, what was unsaid was usually dangerous, and her expensive knight in shining armor did not need to get involved in all that. Is he trying to get other staff mixed up in his schemes? Don’t tell me he’s trying to pull a fast one on the Penguin again. Or is this him trying to gain turf and get noticed by some other criminal mastermind? Didn’t he idolize the Riddler or Scarecrow? Yeah, I need to be associated with that just as much I need a hundred bullets turning me into human Swiss cheese!

“Lindura?” She snapped out of her thoughts at the call of the annoying pet name she was given by Matías.

“For the hundredth time, quit calling me that.” She snapped. Shit, what did he say? “Also, don't get me or him involved in whatever this is. You’re on private property and our company wants nothing to do with any of it, understand? If you’re not ordering, leave. He wants to order, and you’re holding him up.” She motioned to Jason, purposely avoiding any confirmation of someone named Ryan being employed here. The less she said, the more distance she could keep from whatever was going on. I’ll just let Mr. B know later. I better let Cici know, too, I don’t want her or the rest of her family getting dragged into his nonsense. Matías glared at her response, looking between her and Jason in silence. He was clearly angry with her and her answer, but said nothing more. He turned towards the door, which was behind Jason, and shoved past him. His little group of lackeys followed suit, glaring and sneering at Jason, who barely even flinched at their attempts of intimidation. He turned and watched the group climb into their car and drive off before turning back to face Y/N.

“So, he’s really a friend of yours or,” he trailed off.

“More like a pain in my side. Like he said, he’s my best friend’s annoying cousin.” She sighed, rubbing the sore spot on her back. “Thanks, for stepping in like that. He’s…not the best person to be around and hangs around unsavory people, as you saw. I want as little to do with him as possible, but he just can’t seem to take a hint.”

“Is that what you call hinting? I’d hate to see what you being blunt is,” he chuckled as he walked up to the counter. Does she remember who I am? “So, this would be the second time I save you?”

Ah, so he does know it’s me! “Are you asking? Because I might need to start charging you, again.” He raised his hands up in mock surrender.

Yup, definitely does. “Purely rhetorical, but if you must, you can put it on my tab.” He chuckled. Y/N rolled her eyes at his confidence, she had to. Otherwise, she would have found it cute, and she needed to not find him anymore attractive than she already did. “So, are you closing up shop or can I order?”

“Sadly, I’m stuck here until the next shift comes in at 8. For some reason, we need to be a 24-hour location. So, what’ll it be, Wonder Boy? Order whatever you like, it’ll be on the house. The Least I can do for you since you saved me from that mess.” She straightened her apron and stood in front of the register once more.

“Something tells me your boss won’t like that, and you'll end up paying for it. How about I buy us both something, and you come join me at a table?” Jason offered, looking around at the vacant shop, to point out that she really had nothing to lose if she did. It was a very tempting offer, though she was equally happy with just sitting back here and reading her book, but when would be the next time she would meet him? To get a chance to actually talk to him and sort out this hotel mess?

“Well, if you insist,” she forced a heavy sigh of reluctance. “What’ll you have? The bakery items are either made in house or bought fresh from local shops, by the way. I’d suggest one of the sandwiches if you're looking for something more filling or aren't too big on sweets.” He hummed audibly as he stepped to the right, peering into the display case before glancing up at the menu that was hung up behind her before making his selection and insisting she or more than a drink. As promised, he paid for the entire order, and she quickly got to work making everything.

The second son of Bruce Wayne silently watched as she moved around behind the counter, sometimes disappearing behind the door to what he could only assume was the kitchen. After weeks of searching, he finally had her. He finally found the young woman he landed into a sizable amount of financial hardship, and she was not against spending time with him. Now I just need to figure out a way to bring up the topic. If those assholes didn’t make such a scene, I could've easily brought it up now and insisted on paying. But now she’s going to feel indebted to me for saving her again, and might fight me on it. There's got to be a way to make this work. He frowned, crossing his arms as he watched the back of her head move left and right as she began to make whatever drink she had put in for herself. He knew it could not be his order, he kept it simple with coffee, medium with creamer and sugar. The fact that I broke a coffee machine, and she works at a café, she must really think I’m some sort of imbecile. He ruffled his hair to release some pent-up frustration.

“Here’s your coffee and sandwich. Here’s my drink and pastry,” he heard her mumble to herself as she reviewed the ticket once more before stepping out from behind the counter. “We should be good. If you need anything, just let me know and I’ll grab it for you. Anywhere in particular you want to sit?” He glanced around the room before settling on a window side table that was a half booth on the window with chairs on the opposite.

That looks like it’s the closes to the counter, so she doesn’t have to go running if someone else comes in, and the lot is visible from there too. If those assholes decide to come back, I can handle it. “Over there is fine.” He pointed towards the table, placing everything on his tray and carrying it over. Y/N watched with raised eyebrows at the gentlemanly treatment. She was not one to judge by looks, but he certainly did not look like the type to be so courteous. “Are you coming?” She blinked away her look of surprise as she walked towards him.

“Color me impressed. Is saving damsels your forte?” She grabbed the chair to take a seat when Jason motioned for her to sit in the booth.

“I’ll let you know if you got anyone coming in.” He took the chair from her and sat down. “As for me saving damsels, I guess it depends. Do you make it a business to always be in distress?” He smirked, stirring his coffee a bit before taking a sip.

“I don’t make it my business, if you must know. Trouble likes to court me whenever it gets the chance.” She scowled, plopping onto the cushioned seating. “And it seems like you are around quite often when it’s doing its damnedest. Should I be wary of you?”

Oh, you have no idea. “Is that any way to treat your savior, twice over?” He exaggerated his frown as he leaned back into his seat.

“That depends, are you causing the trouble so you can do the saving, or am I just that lucky to have you around to save me?”

“You’re not ‘just lucky’ if it’s me doing the saving. You could say I’m a bit of a professional,” he thumbed his nose, earning a loud “ha” from Y/N.

“Fancy yourself as some sort of warrior of justice? A lesser known caped crusader?”

“No capes, definitely no capes.” He sternly answered. Y/N stared at him, surprised by the tone of his voice, but ended up laughing it off, just like the last statement. He was clearly playing along with her line of inquiry. Jason, on the other hand, was being honest and was a little annoyed by her lack of believing him. It did not help that he found her laughter melodious and the joy of it so infectious that it placated the momentary irritation of her waving his words off as something humorous.

“Ok, a capeless crusader, got it.” She picked up her drink and took a sip. “Well, thank you, in all seriousness. You really saved me on both counts. I’m pretty sure that drink you took on my behalf was drugged, which would explain why you were so out of it afterwards. And even now, even though he knows me, Matías wasn’t going to stop that Joey guy from causing a ruckus. The last thing I need is something that’ll cost me or Cici’s job.”

“Cici, that’s the girl who took my order last time, right?” He thought back to his first visit here. He recalled reading the name tag of the employee he requested to keep his association with Bruce Wayne hidden.“The one and only,” she nodded her head. “Which, speaking of, I wasn’t, she didn’t-” she let out a heavy sigh and raised a finger signaling that she needed a moment to gather her thoughts. Jason raised an eyebrow in question, but said nothing as he let her take her time while he ate his sandwich. How exactly do I explain this without sounding like I’m blaming him or demanding money?

[poorlittleyaoyao]

Actually I find very fitting how women are treated in mdzs. Mdzs's world is homophobic, classicist and misogynistic. Imo Mdzs's world represents the worst of the real world, so I find very suitable that in a patriarch/misogyny society where reputation is what matter the most, women payed the consequences of men's choices. The fact that they have no agency makes their stories even more tragic (like Greek heroines) imo. I've read historical novels from a very youth age, so I am accustomed to this. (disclaimer : that doesn't mean that I am not frustrated with the narrative or our assholes as wwx wn etc... ). What makes me very upset is how fans treat mdzs's women! Wq is not a Mean Lesbian, who is just wwx's best friend. jyl is not just wwx's mom or, even worst, a badass kickass (she is ill! She can't cultivate! Madam yu would love to have a badass daughter, but she can't! She has a chronic illness!!! ). And madam yu reminds me so much of Medea but she doesn't have the same hype. These women are trapped two times : firstly by the narrative and then by fans and I find myself less tolerant towards the latter

When I saw this ask yesterday, my gut response to the comparison between Greek tragedies and MDZS was to be like "no!! it's not the same!!" But I couldn't immediately identify why I felt that way. All the works that have given me lasting brainworms are historical tragedies with mostly-male casts and moral complexity. Everything I vibe with can be traced in some way back to getting fixated on the Trojan War, MDZS/CQL included. So what's different? I have been pondering it ever since then. So thank you, anon, for making me think!

For me, I think what it comes down to is that the issues you mentioned--the classism, the homophobia, and the misogyny--aren't actually explored within the text itself. The in-universe homophobia primarily manifests itself as people saying slurs at Wangxian. There is no external pressure to enter into heterosexual unions and have children to ensure a line of succession (3/4 of the sect leaders are unmarried after the timeskip, after all), nor is there the internal conflict of unpacking internalized homophobia. Classism is examined more with JGY's whole deal, but when the only character pointing out the flaws in the status quo is the Crimes Man, it muddles the message somewhat.

As to the misogyny... with the notable exception of QS, none of the women in MDZS die for reasons that relate to in-universe inequality. YZY, A-Qing, WQ, and JYL all die making the active choice to protect someone or something. Taken individually, all of their deaths make sense. The problems is when you take them as a whole, and you realize that the mortality rate for women in the series is off the chain. Below is a list of all the named characters who show up for more than one scene in MDZS. Bolded characters live, struck-through characters die.

Wei Wuxian Jiang Yanli Jiang Cheng                 Yu Ziyuan Jiang Fengmian           Wen Qing Lan Wangji  Granny Wen Lan Xichen                   Wang Lingjiao Lan Qiren                     Madame Jin Lan Jingyi                     Qin Su Lan Sizhui                   Luo Qingyang Wen Ning                      A-Qing Wen Chao                                            Wen Ruohan                                         Wen Zhuliu Jin Zixuan Jin Ling                                               Jin Guangshan                                                Jin Zixun Jin Guangyao Nie Mingjue Nie Huaisang Xue Yang Xiao Xingchen Song Lan Su Minshan Ouyang Zizhen Sect Leader Ouyang Sect Leader Yao

That's bonkers! It's even worse if you don't count the dead characters who quote-unquote "deserved it" for murdering people, which changes the list to:

Wei Wuxian Jiang Yanli Jiang Cheng                 Yu Ziyuan Jiang Fengmian           Wen Qing Lan Wangji  Granny Wen Lan Xichen                   Madame Jin Lan Qiren                     Qin Su Lan Jingyi                     Luo Qingyang Lan Sizhui                   A-Qing Wen Ning                       Jin Zixuan Jin Ling                                               Nie Mingjue Nie Huaisang Xiao Xingchen Song Lan Ouyang Zizhen Sect Leader Ouyang Sect Leader Yao

Again, the women's deaths each make sense individually, but as a trend, it's fucking wild, and that's what bothers me. There's no actual honest-to-god plot reason why the ratio has to be this way. Why can't Lan Qiren be a strict auntie? Why can't the juniors be a mixed-gender group? Additionally, there's the matter of how the deaths are treated. NMJ's death is the entire reason for the book; JZX's memory is invoked as much as JYL's. It's not that bad things happen to the women, it's that they're unnecessarily killed off at a disproportionate amount.

ALL THAT SAID. ALL THAT SAID!! You're absolutely right about fan treatment. One would think that these interesting women who don't get to take center stage in canon (and thus have a lot left to explore!) would be a GOLDMINE, but instead they're sanded down like you said. It must be ROUGH trying to find fic about JYL in particular, because so much of what she's tagged in is just her being WWX's Gentle Soup Sister in the background. Wangxian is far and away the biggest pairing WQ's tag--not just for MDZS, but for The Untamed, where she's a much bigger character! I sense that you're more charitable towards the canons than I am, anon, but at least the canons are honest about what they're about and aren't patting themselves on the back for their super progressive inclusion of a Mean Lesbian Friend or whatever.

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a quiet sunday night

sunday, 11pm, September 22, 2024 ~ cider close to hand, both alcoholic and non; hozier playing in the background; evidently it's the first day of fall

reading since i skipped doing one of these last week, both of my reading picks tonight are actually from a little while ago. both were so, so compelling, but for different reasons. one an award-winning piece of twentieth-century canadian literature set in 1970s india, the other a scandalous semi-autobiographical account of drinking, dating, and divorce in roaring twenties new york.

i think that drew me into both of these first was their dialogue-- both authors are so good at writing distinctly unique, distinctly not-what-i-usually-hear character dialogue, without it sounding at all affected. i got the feeling that both authors were working from life, describing societies they knew inside and out, and had observed intimately. so much detail about the, like, material and sensory details of these two different settings-- what everyone wore out to dinner in the twenties, and what they were eating and drinking; what shopping for a chicken or going to the doctor was like in mid-seventies bombay, what school was like, how people were discussing the government... beyond that, these two feel so dissimilar that comparing them is going to do a disservice to both. though i guess both have, at different points in their histories, been the subject of some scandal. listening shout out to my 'for you' playlist last week, which was one hit after another-- but opened with this, and introduced me to rachel chinouriri! whose sound i really like. that first slow build up to the guitar bursting in? got my attention immediately. the lyrics to this one are, admittedly, wild to be singing while trying to write job apps, but it's melancholy in enough of an upbeat way that it almost feels calming?

No point in trying to prove yourself to them Why question who you are from deep within? No matter what, your youth is gonna end My god it’s sinking in There’s no point in anything

the whole album goes down so smooth, and is rewarding repeat listens. i love her voice. i love how late i am to discovering her, since she's opening for sabrina carpenter now apparently.

watching no shogun time this week, but the gang and i sat down to experience the first episode of a new series, which i cannot stop thinking about. imagine like. australian broadchurch, but only one of the main characters and all the victims are actually in a bleak crime drama, and every other character is doing like parks & rec. also it's extremely gay. and rude. and funny. favorite characters are dulcie, and sven the guy who keeps asking who he can delegate stuff to. also dulcie's wife, who i'm so worried about the world crushing somehow, she seems too optimistic to survive undamaged!

playing did i mention finishing act ii of pentiment? now that @blue--period is playing it, i realized i wanted to get further and be able to discuss. i was devastated by the end of act i, but the end of act ii feels... bleak in a way i wasn't expecting, at all. i'm already planning a second play-through using my other save file, since i failed a bunch of checks in act ii (a few i think based on the background i had chosen, aggravating since it was helpful in other ways) and no spoilers, but in other ways, i failed by succeeding. saving act iii for now, since i have a busy next couple of weeks. much love to caspar, my best boy.

making fallow week. check back soon for experiments with medieval ink making, though!! i have sourced ingredients, and parchment scraps, from kind friends and colleagues who won't ask me to pay for them, and will shortly be (i hope) benefiting from someone else's paper-making budget. stay tuned.

working on prepping for my students' quiz on thursday, and the following assignment due in early oct, by brainstorming what i want to ask them to do and then not actually writing the rubric or instructions. alternating with staring at the descriptions of various job openings and trying to pick up lots of detail about the hiring departments. wrote up a 2-page dissertation summary, which sucked. feeling more chill about the process than i thought, which is also because it doesn't feel like it's happening to me, exactly. writing sample and finalized cover letter this week?

[mylee-sketches]

your loveliest loveliest sibling noorie (@anulithots) has told me to pester you about the picture of dorian gray. SO I AM PESTERING YOU BECAUSE. OSCAR WILDE BRAINROT

how do you find it so far??? do you like the writing style?? personally i love itt i find it oscillates between poetic and witty in the most delightful way. see picture below (i don’t know if you know her but one of my very good friends @holdmyteaplease sent it to me. and i CANNOT stop thinking about it)

one of my tips for THE ultimate reading experience would be to track flower symbolism and the frequency of it. you’ll make so many revelations. the way he ties flowers and the corruption of dorian together is MASTERFUL <3

also tracking references to ancient greek mythos/figures. it’s adonis. then narcissus. at some time in the book literal ANTINOUS is mentioned (if you don’t know who he is just. search him up. and also how his name was used in 19th century europe)

———

if you enjoyed the book, i have soo many recs for you. just you wait:

if you liked the wit — the critic as artist (wilde) [this is one of my all time favourite books btw], the importance of being earnest (wilde) + his other plays

if you liked the ✨gay✨ — the sphinx (wilde) [this is a poem], de profundis (wilde) [this one is a marvellous insight on oscar wilde’s trial, sexuality etc], maurice (forster) [it’s just gay and written around that time period, BUT it is a cornerstone of queer classic lit and was revolutionary for its time. think of it as the dawn to dorian gray’s dusk]

if you liked the themes of sin, excess and immorality — the secret history (tartt) [vibe and theme wise and also because it’s one of my all time favourites lol], crime and punishment (dostoevsky) [not done with this one yet and honestly vibe and writing wise they’re vastly different. but the themes are there]

———

okayyy that turned into a very very very long rant. i am passionate about this as you can tell. i hope we can discuss more on this topic! you seem like a wonderful person and i’d love to talk to you more <3

Hihihi!

Currently I’m only on like page 42 (chapter 4) so I’m not really that far in, but! As far as I’ve gotten, I do like the way it is written! I read some Sherlock Holmes earlier this year and although it is a nice book, I kinda found myself not being able to picture things really well…

the way you described the writing style is exactly the way I thought it was, with the descriptions of flowers and environments—and a lot of description of Dorian’s beauty and youth—to the dialogues between characters. The way they speak is more similar to modern day talking, albeit with older language. (Idk when it was written though, I’m just assuming sometime late 1800s?)

I like the way the characters personalities bounce off each other. They have so much bromance going on. ✨

I’m just like expecting one of them to kiss the other with how they all talk about each other

Also I had done a Uquiz by @holdmyteaplease a while ago I think, and the result I had gotten had recommended that I read The picture of dorian gray!

The flower symbolism seems very interesting, I’ll make sure to pay attention to it! 👀

I like all the themes you listed—I’m going to have a long “to read” list 😭

I’ll keep you updated with my thoughts on the book(s)!

I am a wonderful person you are correct ✨✨ /silly

Thank you for the “pestering”! <3

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

Idk if we're keeping the same age gap and roles as in canon, but I'm just imagining L still becoming this world class detective just solving crime from his bedroom and still living with his parents. Like he *could* move out and live lavishly with the amazing connections and money he no doubt has. But if he did he wouldn't have 24/7 access to his little brother anymore, so neet it is (and by neet i ofc mean he payed his parents mortgage in cash up front)

he doesn't have the wammy's house resources or watari to start but once he gets going and makes a shit ton of money he has a moment where he's like. okay. i've been solving crimes out of boredom. i could literally never have to work again. what am i going to do with my life? and that's his moment where he comes to the conclusion that he really does care about catching criminals, and he's gonna keep doing it for the love of the game and for justice. thinking right now of that part in the musical where light and him are both yelling I AM JUSTICE at the audience....like he still has to be a detective. nothing else would ever keep him occupied like investigative work.

i'm going to just say that soichiro is a widower because soichiro is so firmly Light's Dad to me. or maybe L is the result of like. an indiscretion in his youth. so police chief of the NPA, politics, his upstanding moral backbone...when L's mom leaves him at an orphanage or whatever soichiro is contacted and he picks up his infant son, because it's the right thing to do. L doesn't necessarily help him officially with cases (that's always been light's main squeeze) but if the police get anonymous tips here and there, well. soichiro doesn't look too closely at where they came from. and L never hides his IP address on ourpose :p

soichiro's blindspot when it comes to his sons means he absolutely does not notice them fucking btw. rest in peace

[woodsfae]

B5 s02e20 The Long, Twilight Struggle Table of Contents • previous episode

Wow, we're almost to the end of another season! It's been a really good one, despite my own rocky start with its beginning. It's been interesting how my perspective has shifted enough along the way that I had change of minds about my change of minds of some characters. In The Gathering I loved Garibaldi, then came to dislike him for his sexism, police brutality, abuse of position, stalking Talia, being a shit about his ex, and general cop-ness, but the writing really brought me around on him! Weirdly, I now believe he can and will be better.

Almost the same for Londo. I didn't really like him at all, came to like him a little, then was to be SO disappointed in him that now I'm just fascinated to see how far his moral depravity and Sunk Cost Fallacy-ing will go.

And on to the episode!

Their CGI planet is really lovely and colorful, and does look quite 3d! And it's Centauri Prime (presumably). Must be a Londo episode!

This guy is petting the throne. wtf Refa. Very blunt about the fetishization of power that's going on here.

Londo: "Lord Refa, I have come a long way, and I am tired. Is there a reason I have been summoned here, now?" Refa: "Indeed there is, I have good news. The war which began six months is about to end. Sooner than any of us could have hoped. And you, Londo Mollari, will be the architect of our victory."

ope, the Centauri are about to do some crazy war crimes, I see!

Finally, a sexy transparent glass silhouette showering scene! I've been waiting for this since the show started. Classy of them to make it be Sheridan.

Friendly Draal Planet!!! I hoped to see him again! How delightful! What a bad omen, though.

Delenn is becoming just…transcendently beautiful. The lighting and camera shots, her expressions and grace, are all just astonishing. I am glad she gets to see her friend again. Maybe some of the other serene characters will pop up for a reunion. I'd love to see the little telepath girl who went to Minbari, Janice the Healer, and Thomas Jinxo the Seeker of the Grail again, and I think they'd all get along well (or at least interestingly) together.

Draal, appearing before Sheridan fresh out of his shower: "I've been watching you for quite some time, Captain. And I thought it was time that I introduce myself. My name, is Draal. How do you do." *Minbari bow* Sheridan, damp and be-robed: "Uh, fine. I'm fine." Draal, who has no idea how to talk to humans: "Good. You don't have any idea who I am, do you?" Sheridan, who did his research on B5 tysvm: "Unless there's another Draal who can do what you just did, you're the Minbari who took custody of the planet we're orbiting." Draal: "Ah, Captain, you do not take custody of the planet, the planet takes custody of you!."

This made me laugh really hard. The planet really did take custody of Draal. Near-total isolation, but youth. idk if I'd go for that.

Details…details…lmao Draal.

The Narn…cannot catch a fucking break. Contact with an entire sector of colonies, lost. They're losing, although their official stance is that they're holding their own. I wish them and their counter attack well! One all-out strike with the majority of their forces is a hardcore strategy! They could lose everything.

G'Sten: "If we make them pay, for every inch of space, we can wear them down, prolonging the war beyond their capacity to fight it. Centauri want a quick victory: they don't have the stomach for prolonging the war."

He also says there will always be enough ships to defend their homeworld, but dang that still feels really risky. I am so excited to see a little of G'Kar's family. His uncle! And he's so kind, warm, and loving. The exact opposite of the way they were described by Delenn and the Centauri in season one. They both call the Narn cold, strange, impossible to empathize with. I hate to see anti Narn propaganda! They have risen highly in my estimation and I am rooting for them so hard.

The Centauri are going to bomb Narn from orbit with banned weapons and wipe out much of the entire population. To "save Centauri lives." War crimes, as I thought.

Everything depends on Londo. It's too late to back out. Bringing the pressure and the logical fallacies down on him! He bends, obviously, and is going to reach out to Morden for help carrying out the sick plan.

Londo: "All right. I will bring my assoociates into this, but this is that last time. We are Centauri. If we are to sieze our destiny, we must do it ourselves. After this, no more." What'shisface" "After this there will be no need! Thank you. Cheer up. By the time you return to Babylon 5 the war will be over, and the Narns will be at our feet. This time, we will keep them there."

Exactly. The Narns will not stop resisting, they will eventually gain their freedom again, and there will be another and another. You can't build an empire without horrifically violating sentients' rights, and those sentients are always going to resist.

Love Delenn's outfit today. I hope Draal won't be an ass about her hair.

Aw, so nice, Londo gets to go watch the Centauri genociding the Narns, live and in HD safe on a warship. How thoughtful. May he choke on the sight.

Dr Franklin is a real and good friend and a great anti-fascist comrade. Gathering deets from his Narn patients to give G'Kar as up-to-date as information as he can, as quick as he can.

Draal Planet light hearted B Plot, yay! And Delenn is now experimenting with swearing She used the f-word even! Frag me, she's so great.

Delenn: "Draal? We're here." Draal: "Did you think I hadn't noticed, my old friend? You've changed. I like it."

I'm glad he's not racist to her! That makes two Minbari who have on-screen supported her: Lennier, and now her old mentor. I'm so glad!

But onto the meat of the visit. Draal has been using the planet's resources to gather information, including Sheridan's history and all the plotting Sheridan's been doing. Convenient, and awesome! Powerful allies are badly needed right now. Draal has been studying the universe and the planet, and he's ready for action! And I"m ready to see that action!

"In the long, twilight struggle which lies ahead of us, there is a possibility of hope."

That's a great message, and good repetition of the same sentiment from earlier with G'Kar and G'Sten. I'm afraid G'Sten is going to die, but I hope he lives. The Narns have faced enough tragedy.

Shadow ships coming for G'Sten and his fleet, the evil shits! The CGI has definitely improved from last season to a degree, although it's extremely obvious with the shadow ships. but I love the effect! They are all cgi and thus fake-looking, which I think enhances how out of sync with the normal dimensional bounds they are. I'd be fucking unnerved if I saw something that fake looking in real life.

goodbye G'Sten. :/

There's people on the Draal Planet! Wow, they must be weird.

LOVE this for Delenn. She's needed friends really badly, too!

Zathras!! Is in league with Draal! Cool!! I didn't think we'd see the Space Werewolf again, but this should be fun! JMS's spreadsheets must have been wild.

Narn is in a BAD position. Centauri have Narn surrounded, there's massive destruction and death, and the Narn fleet has been neutralized. An impromptu re-enactment between Narn and Centauri on B5 is underway. Of course.

Narn looks mostly brown and orange from orbit. I wonder what it looked like before the Centauri ever arrived. Bombs underway, Londo watching on while looking sick. Hope he feels even sicker than he looks!

Ineffective response from Minbari and Earth, of course. An atrocity! They condemn it! Really hard! Finger wag! Don't do it again!

:(

G'Kar. What a horrible horrible place to be. Narn plans to surrender. I hope they can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, but knowing this show, it will be even more grim for them and the universe by the end of the episode. Horrific.

G'Kar is reduced to asking Sheridan for political asylum. If they hand him over to the Centauri…! fuck! That's the kind of dystopian universe this is, too. I hope that won't happen, though.

Ugh. A speech by Londo. What an awful piece of propaganda.

Londo: "A little over five standard hours ago, the conflict which began with the Narn declaration of war, came to and end. The Narn regime has offered complete and unconditional surrender. The terms imposed by the Centauri Republic are as follows. One: the ruling body known as the Kha'ri will be disbanded, and its members subject will be subject to arrest and trial for the commission of war crimes against the Centauri." Sheridan: "Earth requests the right to send observers to these hearings." Londo: "That request is denied. Two: to prevent further acts of terror by the Narn against our people, the penalty for the murder of any Centauri by any Narn will be the execution of five hundred Narns. Including the Perpetrator's own family. Three: a provisional ruling council appointed by my government will take up the responsibility of re-building a more civilized Narn government, as a colony of the great Centauri Republic." Sheridan: "Is there anything else." Londo: "Yes. Just, one thing. Because the Narn homeworld is now a protectorate of the Centauri Republic, we reserve the right to determine who can speak for Narn. As a result, Ambassador G'Kar may no longer represent the Narn in any official capacity whatsoever. His appointment ambassador to Babylon 5 is hereby withdrawn. And as the only member of the Kha'ri still at large, Citizen G'Kar will return to Narn for trial."

"No," quoth Sheridan. Minbari supports Earth and Babylon 5 in this, although Delenn does call him Citizen G'Kar like Londo did. Fuck him, man. He's fully a bootlicker channeling his frustration at his guilt over all the war crimes against the non-Centauri. My least favorite fictional war criminal.

The framing and character work through this scene is WILD. G'Kar, sitting, slumped, not meeting anyone's eyes. Londo, speaking with clear enunciation, racist and imperialist language framed as the ethical, sensible decisions the Narn have forced them to make. G'Kar rising and speaking calmly before leaving when Londo loses his temper and demands, screaming, that G'Kar leave the council room.

G'Kar: "No dictator, no invader can hold an imprisoned population by force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power, governments and tyrants and armies cannot stand. The Centauri learned this lesson once. We will teach it to them again. Though it take a thousand years…we will be free."

The Narn will not go quietly.

Centauri is celebrating, they are dancing in the streets on homeworld. Or so the propaganda news broadcast goes.

Sheridan has a very nice speech for G'Kar and offer of support of all his personal assets that can be put towards that aim.

G'Kar: "The last time I took someone's hand we were at war twenty-four hours later." *takes Sheridan's offered hand anyway*

Mad lad.

And now Sheridan's off to a super-secret meeting! Delenn presiding. She has gathered him allies to pledge to Sheridan. Ah, Sinclair's project! <3 Sinclair, good work, buddy. Kosh is there, too! Somehow I doubt he is there to swear TO Sheridan. Along with, benevolently, to help the ants win against the anteater, maybe.

This is an episode of speeches! G'Kar's was terrible and great. Sheridan's falls a little flat. His line has been drawn on the other side of a fascist empire re-enslaving an entire people.

Well. I can only hope for some great and wild successes on the other side of the season finale!

The balance of affection between G'Kar and G'Sten, and Delenn's joyful reunification with Draal and the hope that and Sinclair's rangers inspired were all a much-needed balance against the Narns' current plight, but this was still so heavy and dark. It went there, it did that! Man, the forces of the Light are just fucking crippled without the Narn and their previous resources. All destroyed, and mostly dead, to feed the appetite of the Centauri Empire.

next!

[vintageshits]

soooo, look what just came in the mail yesterday!!!

as i said in some previous posts, i wanted to read c&p in english (my mother language is spanish, btw, so i’m sorry if, sometimes, my grammar is terrible) to be able to comment it with all the tumblr girlies that gather around the hashtag…

and so i began looking for it all around the internet and in libraries from my town, but all i was able to find were these ones:

and then an image came to my mind…the cover shown on the goodreads app.

so my journey trying to find that cover began…and it finished quite soon because I found it fastly on ebay.

when i held it in my hands I questioned myself: “why pay 500 mexican pesos for a worn-out, old book, instead of 321 mexican pesos for a brand new copy? just for the cover?” i wondered and wondered, and overthought about it until i found out why i was so keen on finding this edition…

this 1991 edition’s cover features the 1881 painting “a student” by russian artist nikolai yaroshenko.

which is one of two yaroshenko’s paintings that feature the intellectual, nihilist youth of russia back then. i’ll get to that later. this is the other painting of this pair:

this one is named, obvs, “the girl student”.

now, going back to the first painting. i found some interesting information about it. the first, and most appealing, thing is that it depicts a poor student, how do we know this? because he's wearing a rug over his coat, and only rich young men could afford warmer fur coats for the cold seasons.

so, back to why the hyper fixation with this cover...i think i like it because it was a great choice that is quite allusive to raskolnikov's background, and it somehow makes me feel that it depicts him as a person rather than as a criminal because, i mean, almost all of the other covers you can find on the internet, or at bookshops, almost always refer to the crime, like, there's always an axe, or blood, or even raskolnikov lifting the axe behind alyona ivanovna... but this much-mentioned cover only shows us a poor student from the second half of the 19th century, who may be struggling, who may be sleeping "in a closet", who may owe 3 months’ rent...just like raskolnikov at the very beginning of the novel.

and, of course, knowing the painting's historical context, knowing that it belongs to the russian realistic movement, helps me to build a better mental image of rodya lol.

oh, damn, am i verbose about a book cover?

[marcianoliterati]

President Salvador Allende's last words

My friends,

Surely this will be the last opportunity for me to address you. The Air Force has bombed the towers of Radio Portales and Radio Corporación.

My words do not have bitterness but disappointment. May they be a moral punishment for those who have betrayed their oath: soldiers of Chile, titular commanders in chief, Admiral Merino, who has designated himself Commander of the Navy, and Mr. Mendoza, the despicable general who only yesterday pledged his fidelity and loyalty to the Government, and who also has appointed himself Chief of the Carabineros [national police].

Given these facts, the only thing left for me is to say to workers: I am not going to resign!

Placed in a historic transition, I will pay for loyalty to the people with my life. And I say to them that I am certain that the seed which we have planted in the good conscience of thousands and thousands of Chileans will not be shriveled forever.

They have strength and will be able to dominate us, but social processes can be arrested neither by crime nor force. History is ours, and people make history.

Workers of my country: I want to thank you for the loyalty that you always had, the confidence that you deposited in a man who was only an interpreter of great yearnings for justice, who gave his word that he would respect the Constitution and the law and did just that. At this definitive moment, the last moment when I can address you, I wish you to take advantage of the lesson: foreign capital, imperialism, together with the reaction, created the climate in which the Armed Forces broke their tradition, the tradition taught by General Schneider and reaffirmed by Commander Araya, victims of the same social sector which will today be in their homes hoping, with foreign assistance, to retake power to continue defending their profits and their privileges.

I address, above all, the modest woman of our land, the campesina who believed in us, the worker who labored more, the mother who knew our concern for children. I address professionals of Chile, patriotic professionals, those who days ago continued working against the sedition sponsored by professional associations, class-based associations that also defended the advantages which a capitalist society grants to a few.

I address the youth, those who sang and gave us their joy and their spirit of struggle. I address the man of Chile, the worker, the farmer, the intellectual, those who will be persecuted, because in our country fascism has been already present for many hours -- in terrorist attacks, blowing up the bridges, cutting the railroad tracks, destroying the oil and gas pipelines, in the face of the silence of those who had the obligation to protect them. They were committed. History will judge them.

Surely Radio Magallanes will be silenced, and the calm metal instrument of my voice will no longer reach you. It does not matter. You will continue hearing it. I will always be next to you. At least my memory will be that of a man of dignity who was loyal to [inaudible] the workers.

The people must defend themselves, but they must not sacrifice themselves. The people must not let themselves be destroyed or riddled with bullets, but they cannot be humiliated either.

Workers of my country, I have faith in Chile and its destiny. Other men will overcome this dark and bitter moment when treason seeks to prevail. Go forward knowing that, sooner rather than later, the great avenues will open again where free men will walk to build a better society.

Long live Chile! Long live the people! Long live the workers!

These are my last words, and I am certain that my sacrifice will not be in vain, I am certain that, at the very least, it will be a moral lesson that will punish felony, cowardice, and treason.

Santiago de Chile, 11 September 1973

#SiempreAllende

#AllendeVive

[abinghospital]

there’s a violence that preys in the lurid silence, its hunting claws piercing through my skin in a vicious attempt to hurt. its brutal grip mars my delicate bones, shattering the joints that hold my useless body. my tears flow without intent as if a machine run only by the pain that throbs behind my ribcage. all this, in the dead silence. an ear-shattering pin-drop of soundless screams. darkness engulfs as i unlit the lights in desperate hopes that the shadows would form a familiar glint of my childhood refuge. where every face is a friendly ghost. where pavements are painted with blooming delight and the scent of home endures.

outside the still blackness of my dying prison, where the rot cant reach flesh, where the gloom cant pale the souls that wander, the city roars in wild movement. vehicles sifting through the wind, light dancing in gleaming colors, streets shrouded with people holding purpose in their pockets and dreams in their eyes. the world is perpetually in motion, a cycle of never-ending toil. bones grinding against inertia, bodies forced to function for modest coins, rigid calluses taking shape on gentle hands. when did existence turn into a need to survive rather than the desire to experience? are we ever allowed to take time if only to muse at the beauty of the stars when even in solitude, there’s a war that wont dissipate? and the uproar never ends, not to nurture the wounds from my hounding thoughts brought by the prick of existential woe, not to tender the ache of the sick loneliness that has long plagued my wounded spirit. in my somber seclusion, as if to mock my trivial being, i was humbled by the absolute truth that tomorrow is promised, even without me. 

i’ve learned of life’s hostility in the way it has punished me for crimes i have yet to discern. it lights a raging ember to my fading hope, only to take it back leaving not even a flicker but a fear in my throat that knows only of consuming. luck i was told, was the rarest of lightnings i had the privilege to catch. i’ve lived my youth not with the greatest luxuries but one free of deprivation and contempt. there was always food on the table, warm clothes to wear, and enough love to fill an ocean. yet this did not come without its share of penance, for in my moments of perish, there was no embrace to fall back to. a penalty im still paying for even at present. when anguish, like poison, trickles its way through my veins, but distance, with its powerful expanse, holds me back from the antidote. luck it turns out was a chance at ease priced with a hefty bargain. 

life at its most hostile, is an esoteric irony, a drop of bliss followed by an outpour of ceaseless dread.��

life is a spineless joke, one i was dying to hear only to uncover that i am the eventual punchline. 

life is a striking serpent, rearing its venomous head with only the intent to maim. 

what am i supposed to defend myself with when all i have are meager words, scattered sentences, and fervent pleas for clemency, all addressed to a god im uncertain is even there?

there’s cruelty in digging a grave once you’re already dying. in my most tragic days, i still seek for ways to sink deeper into uncharted depths even my demons fear to tread. insanity, according to einstein, is a mindless repetition expecting different results. is there a map to flee the downward loop of this inescapable madhouse? madness, in experience, is an endless free fall. the ultimate torture is the absence of landing with the constant concern knowing despite the burn, a hotter hell awaits. and there’s no ceasing this continuous collapse for i intentionally elude all attempts at salvation. there is sadness in my refusal to expose my need for comfort as much as there’s merit for my fake resonance of strength. how does one bring back the will to withdraw his walls when ridicule laces his every oversight and his worries are reduced to meaningless whims? in my pondering, i discovered how to fold my bleeding chaos into tiny caricatures, tuck them in the cracks of my ruptured heart, and corrupt me in secrecy. 

life, at its most hostile, is a crashing trajectory. and the endless wonder if there is a way out. 

[girltalkblog]

#GirlTalk: 10 Must-Watch Video Essays for Women on the Internet

With the popularization of short-form video platforms like TikTok and Instagram Reels, Youtube and other networks that once held some of the top spots on the App Store have seen a significant decrease in usage, or at the very least a cultural shift of how people prefer to consume video media. It appears that younger generations no longer have a large enough of attention span to watch YouTube videos anymore. They would rather be entertained by hundreds of one minute or less videos, covering thousands of different relevant topics, than sit down and pay attention to one 20-minute-long video that only covers one. Or perhaps I am making something that I personally relate to a generational problem so I do not feel bad about not being able to pay attention to anything for longer than two minutes maximum. Either way, I have had a recent fixation with a type of video media that makes me feel studious, intelligent and incredibly capable of paying attention, and that fixation is the YouTube trend of “Video Essays.”

As I do with most of my writing, I feel the responsibility of bringing awareness to how women and girls relate to social issues and current events, so I have curated a list of videos essays that revolve around a wide range of topics and affairs, but focus on them through a female or feminine perspective. At the end of the day, I am a girl’s girl. While these 10 videos focus on the interests and issues of women, I hold firmly the belief that the collection I have personally curated below focuses on topics that have the potential to be useful or even interesting to all college-aged people, despite being directly related to women or femininity.  

 10 Must-Watch Video Essays for Women on the Internet:

One last thing before we get into it: these videos contain mature topics, language and themes. I do not recommend watching them if you are uncomfortable with things like curse words or serious and potentially triggering topics. 

1.The Crime of Being Basic, The Illusion of Being Unique (Shanspeare) 

Shanspeare in this video addresses the pitfalls of being basic and liking stereotypically “average” things, in a theatrical and captivating way. They use personal experiences and pop culture references as examples to discuss the topic of why there seems to be a right way to enjoy things, as well as a wrong way, and how society puts pressure on young people to be “special.” I would recommend this video essay to anyone who has ever felt insecure about liking popular things, because as Shanspeare brings up, there is nothing wrong with popular culture, because at the end of the day, those things are popular for a reason.

2. teenagers don’t exist anymore (youth culture and third spaces) (Madisyn Brown)

This video essay by Madisyn Brown is a discussion of teenagers’ latest trends regarding how they dress, as well as how they choose to spend their time and socialize with each other. With significant references to how teenagers have been viewed in the past, this video also brings up the argument of if teenagersare even necessary today, and if they are, why we should be looking at the behavioral differences between them and previous generations. Madisyn’s video provides the feeling of being in a conversation with an older sister, while also confronting how social media has changed the way teenagers feel about themselves and the world around them.

3. who is “that girl”? ??‍ (a study of style) (ModernGurlz) 

One video from a series of style and aesthetic studies from the ModernGurlz channel, this essay is an easy, quick watch (or listen) to understand the specific aesthetic of being “that girl,” or someone who seems to have their whole life together, practicing healthy choices and promoting self-improvement. While this video has a positive tone, it also references the critiques of this lifestyle and how it can inherently promote unhealthy relationships with food as well as how it may be unrealistic. If you are interested in topics surrounding conversations about food choices and privilege, this video is for you. 

4. tiktok is bad for women, actually (Jordan Theresa) 

With an overwhelming amount of marketed content online revolving around anti-aging products and practices, it can feel stressful and frustrating to think about how you can prevent signs of aging on your own body. Jordan Theresa addresses this shared experience of many women, especially how TikTok’s structure can work against one’s mental health, promoting the economic market of women’s insecurities. With a scientific focus on TikTok’s algorithm, Jordan explores this topic in a way that makes her audience feel that she cares about the topics being discussed, creating a captivating viewing experience for watchers. 

5. Lady Bird, Gilmore Girls, and Coming of Age in Privilege | Video Essay (Maia C) 

If you’re a fan of the TV show “Gilmore Girls” or movies like “Lady Bird,” in which young people are coming into new phases of life, trying to navigate relationships, work, school and other aspects that make up the troublesome existence of a teenager, this video will be of your interest. It is a nice introduction to other ideas involving characters like Rory Gilmore and Lady Bird. The creator, Maia C, references the theme of economic anxiety through a privileged lens, and leaves the audience wanting to hear more about how certain forms of media can isolate themselves from a lot of different groups when their characters and storylines are not widely relatable. 

6. the instagram infographic industrial complex (amandamaryanna) 

While this video is a couple years dated having been posted in 2021, the subject matter is still relevant because of how the internet tends and continues to interact with current events. Arguments are presented such as how the trend of using infographics on social media can create an illusion of support and fall into the label of performative activism. Amandamaryanna, as is her YouTube handle, brings up interesting ideas of using activism and these infographics for personal and corporate gain through a woman of color’s perspective, and asks how these actions characterize society.

7. social media is making us speak in code. (Soeun in Seoul) 

Using an academic and informative tone, Soeun in Seoul addresses how separate the real world is from social media, and how uncomfortable it can be to verbalize social media references to one’s real-world friends who might not understand what they mean. This video also has a large focus on Jean Boudrillard’s ideas and exposes viewers to his book “Simulacra and Simulation,” connecting it to how his philosophical ideas can be translated into modern social media spaces. While it can be hard to follow at points, I still believe it is interesting enough to consider in terms of how society communicates within online spaces.  

8. teen TV & the extinction of the tween (film fatales)

Film fatales confronts the non-existent gap between children’s TV and young adult TV, or in other terms, how there is almost nothing in between “Mickey Mouse” and “Euphoria” for older children to consume. Addressing themes of sexualization of teenagers and how visual media misrepresents what teenagers look like and how they behave, I found this video essay to be extremely captivating and interesting, especially with the current popularity of TV shows based around high schoolers being involved in weirdly adult situations.

9. The Crown: an analysis of Conservative Feminism (Alice Cappelle) 

This video gives an interesting insight to Margaret Thatcher’s attitude towards women in reference to “The Crown,” while also touching on issues that involve harmful female stereotypes, such as the belief that women with careers are bad mothers. While this only reaches the surface of how this show represents different and sometimes opposing female ideologies, it is a nice starting point to a discourse surrounding unfamiliar ideas.   

10. let’s talk about the rise of ‘-core’ and ‘girl’ aesthetics (Mina Le) 

Last, but certainly not least, I end this list with one of my personal favorite YouTubers: Mina Le. To go off on a slight tangent, I would recommend Mina’s channel to anyone that wants in-depth analyses of current trends and social issues, with the video above giving insight to how subcultures have transformed into higher-quantity and arguably less impactful micro-trends and aesthetics. This video introduces interesting ideas to its audience, such as how these coming and going trends feel inherently marketable, as well as why women specifically take a large role in the existence of these trends.

Furthermore, because I like to make everything that I do more complicated than it has to be, here is my recommendation of arguments against the “video essay,” highlighting reasons why this trend might be completely pointless and, in some cases, harmful (but in a fun, girly-pop way!): 

 The Problem With ‘Video Essays’ (Elliot Sang) 

With all that being said (and if you went and actually watched more than one of the videos, you’re a trooper and I love you) I want to point out some of the arguments against this form of visual media because I think it’s important to look at things from alternate perspectives. None of these creators, to my knowledge, have any real merit or credibility when discussing these topics. Though some of them may have done extensive research and used outside sources to support their opinions, these videos should not be taken as actual academic essays. In a perfect world, these videos would be peer reviewed and, in some cases, organized in a more efficient and cohesive way. However, since this is not a perfect world and we are dealing with one aspect of the ever-changing internet, we must use common sense to decide for ourselves whether to agree or disagree with any form of media we consume. While obviously these videos should not be anyone’s main source of information, I do think there is something to be said for the fact that they are a growing trend, with millions of views between all of them on YouTube, especially in a time where short-form content is king.  

I consider taking the time to research specific topics and being brave enough to present your perspective to the world is extremely admirable of these creators, also holding the firm belief that individuals have the responsibility to educate themselves on multiple points of view on culture. These videos are an engaging starting point to branch out of one’s comfort zone and start listening to people of different social, political, and economic groups to really try and understand the world we are living in, and why it is so incredibly complex.  

☆ Originally Published October 24th, 2023

[queenofcarrotflowers-s]

hello~ I am returning to tumblr, the place of my youth, after a good few years away. this feels like a homecoming in a weird way because tumblr had such a big impact on myself and my identity growing up, and honestly I haven't had a place I could explore my thoughts in the same way in awhile. but my dash has become quite dead while I was gone so I'm looking for new mutuals/people to follow.

(also, if we've been mutuals and you're still here and you see this, please feel free to say hey!)

so let me (re-)introduce myself—my name is mikayla or mik (she/they is cool), and I am 28 years old and a public librarian + union steward in my daily life. I'm bi and currently living with my sweet partner of three-and-a-half years. we have two cats that I deeply adore, named snickers and lorelei. snickers is a big, beautiful former cat beauty pageant runner-up and lorelei is a tiny gal who was rescued from the streets as a teen mom. caring for them gives me so much purpose in my life and I don't know where I'd be without them! anyways, let me pay the cat tax:

(left: lorelei, right: snickers—in a rare moment of peace and camaraderie!)

I deal with chronic fatigue and other issues from an autoimmune thyroid disorder (Hashimoto's) and was recently diagnosed with anxiety/persistent depression/ADHD, which I mention here not because I think anyone wanted my entire medical history but because I hope to write about my experiences and possibly connect with others living with chronic illness, mental health struggles, and/or neurodiversity, as well.

current interests under the cut! if you're into any of the same things, please feel free to reach out / follow! I'd love to meet some new moots/friends :~)

some of my current interests include: cross-stitch/embroidery, latch hook rug-making, creative reuse art, art journaling, cats, libraries, dollhouse miniatures, zumba fitness, union organizing, socialism/communism, thrifting and antique/vintage collecting, interior design and organization, cryptids, folk art, graphic novels, tattoos (I currently have 19), podcasts & audiobooks, dungeons & dragons, country line dancing (I went to one queer country dance party and am now obsessed lol)

video games: baldur's gate 3 (hyperfixating hard on this one rn), disco elysium, paradise killer, stardew valley, animal crossing: new horizons

tv shows: what we do in the shadows, beastars, sex education, yellowjackets, abbott elementary, stranger things, the boys, i think you should leave, the bear, cutthroat kitchen, good eats, tuca & bertie, bojack horseman, black mirror, toast of london, rupaul's drag race, the good place, schitt's creek

authors: grady hendrix, jeanette winterson, lisa hanawalt, michael deforge, lucy knisley, box brown, agustina bazterrica, patricia polacco, brian k. vaughan, sylvia plath, mary roach, caitlin doughty, patricia lockwood, haruki murakami

music: andrew bird, kate bush, yebba, weyes blood, bright eyes, lucy dacus, fleet foxes, remi wolf, fiona apple, hozier, benny sings, gus dapperton, orville peck, father john misty, dolly parton, loretta lynn, madison cunningham, mac miller, the decemberists, the magnetic fields, ABBA, cheekface, wild child, chappell roan, the chicks, villagers, fleece, the growlers, peach pit

podcasts: and that's why we drink, beach too sandy water too wet, ridiculous crime, dimension 20, behind the bastards, welcome to night vale, last podcast on the left, sounds like a cult

[vickyvicarious]

"While I was overcome by these feelings, I left the spot where I had committed the murder, and was seeking a more secluded hiding-place, when I perceived a woman passing near me. She was young, not indeed so beautiful as her whose portrait I held, but of an agreeable aspect, and blooming in the loveliness of youth and health. Here, I thought, is one of those whose smiles are bestowed on all but me; she shall not escape: thanks to the lessons of Felix, and the sanguinary laws of man, I have learned how to work mischief. I approached her unperceived, and placed the portrait securely in one of the folds of her dress.

1818

"While I was overcome by these feelings, I left the spot where I had committed the murder, and seeking a more secluded hiding-place, I entered a barn which had appeared to me to be empty. A woman was sleeping on some straw; she was young: not indeed so beautiful as her whose portrait I held; but of an agreeable aspect, and blooming in the loveliness of youth and health. Here, I thought, is one of those whose joy-imparting smiles are bestowed on all but me. And then I bent over her, and whispered, 'Awake, fairest, thy lover is near—he who would give his life but to obtain one look of affection from thine eyes: my beloved, awake!'

The sleeper stirred; a thrill of terror ran through me. Should she indeed awake, and see me, and curse me, and denounce the murderer? Thus would she assuredly act, if her darkened eyes opened and beheld me. The thought was madness; it stirred the fiend within me—not I, but she shall suffer: the murder I have committed because I am for ever robbed of all that she could give me, she shall atone. The crime had its source in her: be hers the punishment! Thanks to the lessons of Felix, and the sanguinary laws of man, I had learned now to work mischief. I bent over her, and placed the portrait securely in one of the folds of her dress. She moved again, and I fled.

1831

This is the greatest divergence in the Creature's tale, and a really interesting one. In the original version, he immediately gets angry at Justine for being a beautiful woman. The idea that she would never smile at him doesn't seem to be about her specifically as much; more that the Creature knows no one would ever love him or even look kindly upon him. Sure, she reminds him of Mrs. Frankenstein and by extension Safie, but only inasmuch as she is a pretty woman who would fear him like the rest. He doesn't dwell much on any particular desires beyond a smile, and like I said before, he goes straight to getting angry and taking out said anger by forcing her to pay for his crime. It's the product of a single moment of rage, lashing out at the first person he sees who probably would hate and fear him also.

The 1831 version is in some sense more believable, in that it seems a little odd Creature would be able to sneak up on and plant the portrait in Justine's pocket as she ways by him, without her noticing. It also ties in with her story about staying in the barn. On the other hand, it also reads as a lot creepier. Creature approaches Justine in her sleep, pretends to be her lover, says he'd gladly die for her to smile at him... With very little build-up, it reads more as either play-acting something he's read in a book (though I don't know of such scenes in the books he mentions learning from, I haven't read them myself) or heard in a romantic story told by the De Laceys, perhaps. It also could suggest some level of transference of possible feelings of romantic/sexual desire for Safie, which could be read into earlier chapters. This is added to by the "darkened eyes" line - both Mrs. Frankenstein's portrait and Safie herself were described as having "dark eyes" in his narrative. Regardless, the scene feels a lot more intrusive and sexual in a distinctly uncomfortable way.

And that's even before he decides to frame her for the murder. Creature gets scared that she'll wake up (like he's been asking her to) and inevitably reject him. Due to the nature of this more prolonged encounter, his reaction feels more intense as well. This isn't in the immediate aftermath of having murdered a child he had hoped could come to love him before being rejected even by a young and innocent person (also having discovered the link to his creator and decided that William wasn't so innocent after all) - instead, this is after looming over Justine's sleeping form for who knows how many minutes, staring at her and speaking to her like a lover. And not only does it feel more intense just from the situation, but Creature's words are more inflammatory. He explicitly blames Justine herself for being the reason he killed William, and thus she is the one who deserves the punishment. Not only is this blatantly ridiculous reasoning (he never even saw Justine until after he'd killed the boy, and she's had no chance to reject him since she doesn't even know he is there), it also is a very dangerous uniting of various different people and concepts into one body, which he then blames. He is taking all his disappointment and anger from his encounters with Safie, Felix, the man on the road, William, the thought of his creator... everyone who has ever rejected him, and he's putting it all on the innocent Justine. He's externalizing his own actions as not his fault, and instead blaming a total stranger. And of course, given the previously discussed more sexual overtones of this scene, it all reads as very unsettling indeed.

It definitely makes him less likable and sympathetic as a character to me. But it also could be seen as adding more foreshadowing/buildup to his demand for a female companion of his own. As well as giving us a look at a possible outcome if said fellow creature were to reject his affections as well. This blueprint suggests the Creature would blame her and Frankenstein for all that follows... and what would follow would be him lashing out violently against both them and probably others. (He isn't physically violent with Justine here, but there's a feeling of violence nonetheless, and certainly he knows what the consequences will be for her: judicial violence).

[alto-tenure]

Give the people the ranlay fic list we need!

Chances are that, like, everyone's read these fics out of content starvation, but here are my personal favorites anyways.

Emotional mysteries by mangojuicee | T | past Layclaire | 12.8k

There is a day in every year where the Professor Hershel Layton acts odd. When his children begin to realize something is wrong, who better to call for help than the person who knows Hershel best; his best friend?

Reunion Tour by St4re4ter | M (for themes of suicide) | 22.5k

"You love a stone, because it's dark, and it's old, and if it could start being alive, you'd stop living alone." --- A re-write of the Miracle Mask ending with added characterization.

don't worry me (or hurry me) by leo_minor | G | 4k

Hershel sticks his head out of the window and into the night air. A quick glace down is enough to confirm his suspicions.“Most people would use the front door, you know ?” “Hersh,” Randall grins through chattering teeth, “you should know I’m not most people !”

A New Warmth by bihershel | T | <1k

When Hershel finds Randall struggling at 3 am , he decides to take care of him & confront his true feelings for him.

Testing Boundaries, Deepening Trust by miizure | T | 5k

After a messy afternoon outing, Randall decides that, what better way to get cleaned up faster would be to take a bath together? Of course, having never done this before, Hershel is slightly opposed to the idea at first, but after being assured that everything would be fine- possibly even fun- he agrees to it.

Silver Spoon by Vulpixi_Misa | G | 2.6k

Just two boys enjoying their youth, thinking about the future, and of course, there are puzzles.

The stars were made for falling by Cronch (Cronchycronch) | M (for themes of self-harm and discussed past sexual content) | 23.3k

“…I suppose I should start by saying this is a confession of sorts,” he finally spoke, sullen. And now it was Randall’s turn to excessively mull over some mysterious thought yet also empty out entirely at once. Confess? What could there be to confess? Something to confess, that burns on Hershel’s tongue with so much trouble that he is in such a state to say it? “A confession to what, may I ask?” Randall pried. Hershel looked him straight in the eye, visage deadpan. “My crimes I’ve been covering up for about twenty years.” — A few months after the Masked Gentleman’s last miracle was stopped, Hershel’s love for Randall has resurfaced and he pays a visit to his old friend to finally confess. A much needed conversation about their feelings and values ensues as they drink half a bottle of wine in the slowest, most pretentious and most drawn-out reunion ever. Or, an analysis of Hershel’s trauma from being a bisexual man in the 1960s.

Give me your hand (Because I will gladly take it) by MagicWhiskers_29 | G | 10.2k

Two times, 18 years apart but achingly familiar, that Randall and Hershel were there for each other.

I'm Tired of This Searching (Would You Let Me Go?) by ScarletHoneyBee | T | 1.2k

Something triggers Hershel into a dissociative episode. Randall has to bring him back, and convince him that he’s not dead.

Off to a slightly-less-perilous adventure! by MagicWhiskers_29 | G | 18.8k

Randall's all set to be in Craggy Dale for the weekend until it becomes clear that no one will actually be able to take him down there. Well, no one except for Hershel, and that means an adventure down from London! Flora's not one to turn that prospect down, so she tags along too.

Woodlouse by qwertycake | G | 1.3k

Hershel and Randall try to make a treehouse. Try to.

Case 00: Sums of the Father by Toofpaste | G | 4.2k (ongoing)

The Layton Detective Agency thought today would bring no clients. But a special surprise visit from a familiar face brings them to Monte d'Or for a peculiar case.

[porkinsplace]

Hey, I just wanted to say thanks on what you commented on my post. I'm the Israeli who totally talk the conflict, who goes to protests, who votes left parties. Who works with lgbt youth, palestenian and Israeli. Who tries to end this conflict and talk about peace, even in this cause like this. Even when they killed innocent, even when they kidnapped children. I know the Palastenian people are not like hamas. I know there are people on the other side who wants peace too.

The situation is so awful. I see my country lash out at innocents while rocket alarms go off in my area like twice a day. Everyone is so scared. We have been left away by the west queer community, and as a queer Israeli I feel like I was left to rot by everyone. And honestly, I get it. But I'm not my country, I have to choice but to be here so I'm doing the best I can, where I can. I live this conflict since the day I was born. I'm just scared, and sad. And I mourn us all for being born into this mess.

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts on the subject, instead of just ignore it like most people do.

May we live to see peace on planet earth

🇮🇱 🕊 🇵🇸

To bare witness and not look away is quite literally the least I can do. It's people like you whose voice needs to be shouted from summits. Treating any side of a conflict as a monolith has never gone well historically, to make a community pay for the crimes of their government(especially when 3/4's of Israeli's polled are unhappy with their prosecution of the conflict). Folks want a simple answer for this, 'all Palestinians are Hamas terrorists' 'all Israeli's are xenophobic colonizers' its not so simple and has never been that simple.

As you stated you didn't ask for this, you were born into a country and into a culture that you had no say in. you were drafted into a war the day you were conceived, and there are those who would wish you harm simply for not fervently and zealously tow the party line. On top of that to be queer in a country where, you are tolerated at best, where you have to leave the country to get married to have your marriage recognized, I am proud of you for standing in your truth as a queer Israeli and for not hiding your light under a basket.

And that is what makes your voice so important to hear. It is also why you cannot give up hope and why you must continue to stand up against the people in your country who would rather see the world burn than live in peace with their Muslim siblings. I know you are tired and I know you probably feel like its hopeless and if I could lend you even an ounce of my strength from across the globe I would. I want you to know that you are seen and heard and that while I know when you look at everything in media(from any political bent) it can easily seem like you have been abandoned by those who you would assume are your allies, and I'm here to tell you they never were your allies to begin with. We are seeing in real time that racism and the casual disregard for human life is apolitical. Antisemitism and Islamophobia have been rampant across the globe and this conflict has only stoked the flames. Finally I will leave you with this thought I had recently, along with a cheesy quote 'it is always darkest before the dawn' My hope is that the wave of racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, fascism ect that we have been witnessing around the globe is the last dying thrashes of a great ugly beast. They know they've lost and are now simply trying to do as much damage as possible. Godspeed and good luck! Continue to speak out and continue to raise your voice above the braying of the horde. I have faith in you and the rest of those who stand against injustice.

This too shall pass friendo!

[andywinter16]

Terror. Madness. Grief. It flashed all through Regis head when they got safely back to Insomnia. Poor Noctis cried the whole time for Luna. Luna and Ravus, he left them in their enemies hands. He sweard to Sylva, that he will get them back. Niflheim would pay for their crimes ! After leaving exhausted Noctis in hands of his caretakers, Regis went alone to the Crystal chamber. To have a word with his ancestors who silently observed their lifes. 

--

Regis ordered everyone to leave. No one understand why, yet who they were to questioned the king´s decision. After that the chamber became cold, it felt even hostile to be alone there with Crystal. Regis  without any pretensions summoned the power of the ring after more than eight years since he lost her, love of his life. He yearned for his Queen so much, for her soothing touch, her breathtaking smile and a raucous laugh. Those joyful memories still hurted when he though about her. You left us too soon, my love. 

--

The kings and queens of Yore showed themselves before the current king. The time itself froze in the moment. A powerful magic was unleashed and Crystal reacted. 

“ Why did you called upon us, child?” said the Founder king strictly on his massive throne. Regis felt so insignificant in their presence. 

Drained Regis spoke to him as politely as he could. “"I wish to speak to my dear wife. She should be here among you as rightful ruler of Insomnia.” He stood there in anticipation, but no one showed up. The kings and queens were silent, until the Rogue queen took pity on him and said. “Young king, her soul is not here among us.”  Regis was shocked. “ Then where is soul of my beloved?”

“ What an insolence, to think a mere mortal could be in our ranks.” the Warrior king said offended, many of the attendees agreeing with him.

Regis narrowed his eyes at the old king. “ Let me remind you o mighty king, that you all were once mortals like myself. And you especifically should know, what it is to lose your loved one.”  One by one Regis looked around and exclaimed coldly. “ I ask you once again rulers of Yore, where is my wife?”  Yet again no answer was given to Regis.

“Perhaps, I can give you the answer, your highness.” a woman emerged out of nowhere before Regis. He fastly drew his sword in defense. The woman came closer unarmed, as Regis noticed. She looked very young perhaps in her early twenties. “ You can´t expect answer from those who Bahamut chained to do his biding, my lord.”The woman looked at him with regret.” A cursed line of Lucis Caelum, to never know rest. You were ripped from my lady´s hands, when she wanted to bestow blessing upon your bloodline, your highness.”  Regis was wary of her, yet something in him told him to listen to this child. “ If only I was stronger, then I could ripped Bahamut apart for his treachery.” the woman clenched her hand into a fist,” Your highness, you want answers that I can give you, my only condition is that you listen to what I have to say.”  Regis briefly thought about it, he didn´t see  harm in it.

“Let´s say young one, that I would accept this proposal. But first tell me, who are you and about what lady you spoke of to?”  curiosite got better of him.

The woman bowed deeply. “ Hope your highness will pardon my rudeness. I am here on behalf my lady, Etro. And as for me, I am her humble servant Andrea, but perhaps  you will be more familiar with a name  Leo.”  mischievous smile played on her full lips. Regis froze in place upon hearing that name. He remembered the ancient books, in his youth, that told about that name: Leo the beast of Etro´s gate and guardian of dead.