#i am posting this at midnight so ppl don’t make fun of me for this shitty yummy sandwich m

[housecow]

I find it strange how you'd like to get so fat that you depend on someone but at the same time you're saying that you wanna do gardening. It's like there is a confrontation between your kink and your regular life...

in fantasy (or with a lot of consideration between me and my feeder) i’d become dependent. realistically, i’ve always dreamt of having my own garden and i think i could keep up with it at over 350lbs tbh

why can’t i have both…… scooter accessible garden pls. with raised beds i won’t have to bend over too much 🥺

bonus. bacon and tomato sandwich w home grown red snapper variety tomatoes, one of the only beefsteak-like varieties that grow in TX 🥳 DELICIOUS w mayo and some black pepper.

[5tar9litter]

Things my mom said multiple times:

Partying:

“I don’t know why I don’t like it. I should like drinking and gambling. I should like talking to those thai girls even if they are hella rude. I should leave all of my kids alone at home while I go party past 12 at midnight. I guess I’m just weird like what they said. I don’t like talking to those people. They are so annoying, always boasting about how much money they make and then wasting it all away in the casino! Why don’t I like them? Why do I hate it so much??”

She’s said this exact topic at least 60 times this year of 2023. And I’d explain it’s because they are horrible ppl and it’s okay to have different hobbies from others. At least you are saving money, avoiding health risks, and just go find better ppl to be with. Plus I am the same way. I hate those ppl with the same passion but I just found better people who doesn't do those type of things.

Then she’d forget what I just said and start the same exact paragraph by next week or month.

And I start to interrupt when she is talking now because it’s annoying having them ask dumb ass questions esp if you just consulted them like 45x’s now. It’s just a waste of time and I noticed I’ve been either telling her she and I already talked about this or changing the subject completely.

Food:

“I wish we ate more sweets. As a family, nobody in this family likes it. I buy so much cookies, sodas, pizzas, apple pies, cakes, and candy but nobody eats all of it?”

I’d explain, “it’s too sweet. And there’s so much too. You buy like 26 apple pies and expect 4 of your kids to eat all of it in a week?? No thanks.”

“But why can’t we be like an american family? Why can’t we just eat all of the sweets like that?”

“But that’s why all of Americans are dying from cardiovascular diseases, Mom. Sweets kill u if you eat a lot, duh. What r u trying to do, kill us?”

“Haha, you are right but look at how good it looks.”

“Gross. It’s too sweet. Why did you buy so much sweets from the store again? You know 19 years of my life, none of us like cakes and stuff like that.”

“*attempts to eat all 26 apple pies by herself and stops eating by the 3rd apple pies* yuck! it’s so sweet! Why can’t I finish all of it?”

“Facepalms**”

SHE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME AHHH. She knows we don't like sweets. Period. Yet she buys it all the time and always complains that we never eat it even though none of us wanted it. If we were like, "Mom can we buy these cupcakes?" then we don't eat all of it. Then that makes sense that she'd be mad. But she's actually encouraging us to eat unhealthy on a daily basis. Like do you know how much pizzas we've had delivered to house on the daily basis? 6 BOXES for 4 KIDS AHHHH

This behavior did start my brother's food addictions though. Because she would encourage us to eat all of this and they would finish all 5 or 6 boxes by themselves. Now my brothers are having heart problems and stomach issues. Bruh.

Family in laws:

"When you date or get married, you are gonna have to sacrifice your whole life to your man's parents. You have to clean and cook for them 24/7. You will become a slave to them. Dating is never fun. It's only miserable"

I just nod my head and act like I'm listening every time she says this.

My job

"You shouldn't go to college and get a job. Just open a business. I'll support you."

She doesn't even have enough money to buy me food. I have to work to pay for it. It's so annoying because my dad told me the same thing but he can't even pay the bills so he's always stressing out.

"You should start a Youtube channel."

I respond with, "No thank you. I hate filming stuff. I don't even post 1 picture on my other social media so what makes you think I wanna?"

"Just saying. It'd be a good start."

"Yeah yeah."

She brings up this same topic of me starting a Youtube channel another 30x.

"Why do you keep telling me this, Mom!?"

Usually, I end up getting really pissed off. I hate when I get mad at anybody including my mom but she has a weird habit of repeating herself.

She really wants me to fucking start a youtube channel. I did start one at some point but then I got busy with school or other things and it was really boring for me so I just stopped. But it annoys me that she doesn't understand that I don't like making youtube videos especially at the moment. In the future, I can see it happening but not now. She still keeps suggesting it.

Another thing that annoys me is that she always tell me that my job sucks.

It took me 6 months to get my job and I love it to death. Even if it's minimal pay: Around 16$/hr where I live.

My coworkers are so nice. My managers are so kind and patient with me. The customers are so good to me and they treat me like family. The job is easy and fun. Sometimes I get yelled at by customers because I work at retail and I need an ID from them in order for them to purchase the cigarettes. 97% of them are pretty compliant. So it's fast and easy and if they argue, my coworkers always back me up. They are so kind compared to my old job where I had no support. So, I am always happy to come to work because for someone in my position and history, especially with a tight schedule, this job is like paradise for me. So every time I have a small issue like customers being an idiot or me being hit on at work which is all the time, my mom would say my job sucks.

I call her out on it because at least I am working and you know, compared to my old job at Petco, it's actually really good for a college student. It's close by and easy and relaxes me even if there's small mishaps.

She says she just meant all of that work for 17/hr. I tell her, "For now, this is what I just gotta work with it. But it doesn't suck. I'm just really grateful I have a job.

Babies:

"Do not have babies when you are young." Valid.

Boyfriends

"No dating until you finish school and get a career."

"

Valid.

"You can only dress like that around your boyfriend when you get one."

"You can only go watch movies or go out with your boyfriend when you get one."

"You can only get a house when you get a boyfriend."

"When you get a boyfriend, you'll have someone to hang out with all the time."

"WHY DO YOU WANT A BOYFRIEND SO MUCH I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT HAVING ONE?!!?"

Mom, ever since I was young. You instilled this mindset that I need a boyfriend to have freedom in life. You won't even let me go out without a guy accompanying me and every guy I am just friends with you think I am dating him. AHH WHY IS SHE LIKE THIS?

"OOoh, looks like you are ready for a boyfriend~" My mom would tease me all the time and at the same time she'd tell me, "No boyfriend! You are too young. Not until you are a doctor!"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Casinos:

For 5 years, this is all she talks about. She hates it there with so much hatred that it's incomprehensible but she keeps coming back to work there. Her coworkers also got annoyed with how repetitive she can be and she's told me about this. They told her there's so much careers out there. Why does she keep coming back to the casino if she hates it so much then quits within 5 months??

This year in 2023. she just quit one casino and now she secretly applied to ANOTHER ONE this month in August and my dad found out and yelled at her. I remembered their argument. "YOU LIED TO ME! YOU TOLD ME YOU'LL NEVER GO BACK AND YOU WENT AND APPLIED WITHOUT TELLING ME? YOU KNOW YOU ARE GONNA QUIT AGAIN. YOU DID THIS 5 TIMES ALREADY. WHY DON'T YOU LEARN? YOU CAN'T DO GRAVEYARD SHIFTS. YOU KNOW HOW SICK YOU GET WHEN DEALING PAST 3AM. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?!" I understand my mom wants to work again but doesn't know any other way to make lots of money with just a high school degree. But I agree this can't be healthy. When the other casino she applied see that she just quit 5 other major(popular) casinos within 3 years. They are gonna reject her applications because they know she likes to apply then quit after 5 months.

New business plans:

"I should buy those asian plants and sell it on facebook!"

I encourage her. She's been talking about this for a year now.

"I should cook food and sell it on facebook marketplace like those thai girls!"

I encourage her alot for this because I think she'd do well. She's been talking about this for 2 years now.

"I should work in another job that isn't the casino." *never does so*

"I wanna open an asian fast food shop with a drive through. I never seen one here in America."

I encourage her.

"I want to be a real estate agent. *Continues to explain how much money she'd make and swears she'll finish the classes to get the certificate.*"

This convinced me and my dad that she would actually do it. My dad is really hard to convince so I was surprised he let her. My dad said he'd support her until she gets a degree which is supposed to take 6 months only. She paid $1000, took the class for 5 months, then quit with no refunds.

She told me it's because the professor said she won't be able to become a millionaire until a year later because the economy is rocky right now so nobody's buying houses right now especially with the interest rates being so high for them.

I understood it but I told her like at least finish the last month and just take the exam. You get to cheat too like they do not care at all. Like just get the certificate and get it over with.

She explains she don't have the confidence to finish it. So she never finish the class or the exam. She ended up wasting $1000 even though I offered to cheat for her. ITS LITERALLY AN OPENED BOOK TEST. THE PROFESSOR LITERALLY TOLD HER THE ANSWERS FOR THE EXAM SO IT LITERALLY IS JUST FILLING IN THE BLANK.

After she did that, I've lost all hopes for her bro.

I don't encourage her to start a business because she's always quit or never make action. But you know what did she do? She bought this asian plant and gave it to some random mien woman to profit off of her for free :D R u fucking kidding me? Mom, why. That was your money right there. U bought that plant to make money on facebook but instead you gave it to some random asian lady. She was pretty disappointed in herself as well.

She always talk about: her Nightmares, hair loss, unhealthy eating, nutritional deficiencies, walking at the park, how much she hates my dad and how dirty the house is.

I don't really care and actually respond to her about it.

Things my dad always say:

"Always invest your money!"

"Just take easier classes."

Yeah sure let me just not graduate college by not taking my required Biology: Anatomy and physiology and statistics classes.

"You have to graduate with a bachelor!!"

Also refuses to support my education**

"You are gonna be a millionaire!"

"Why am I such a loser?" My dad always says that to himself.

He brags about me alot especially about how I won 2cd place on a contest and ended up being interviewed on tv.

I luv my parents but omg they are so dumb.

[wellthatwasaletdown]

Larrie posts would get 10s of thousands of likes. It was like a huge wave that carried you along.//// I was there. And honestly, I still go through some Larry theories once In a while. Just for fun. I recently read one of the scarlet letter and how both HL signaled their lives pertaining to the themes of the book- and it’s prob just a coincidence and the person who wrote it is obvs delulu but damn was it Interesting. Especially as a literature geek, that was a fun post to read. Very engaging. Bulletproof larrys blog is a hilarious place. And I am absolutely not a Larrie bc I just don’t have the time and energy to read into this now unlikely theory anymore. Not when all logic points to it being false all along. And not when the cult leaders are doll lady and Gina the fan fic lady. Both misogynistic assholes who are solo harries in disguise.

But the 1d fandom has been such a core part of my life that I simply cannot let it go. And why would I if I love being here? My happiest memories are 1D concerts and tumblr discussions and jokes and all types of ppl who ship different things and have different lanes and opinions coming together to just have fun. Like the day Eleanor and Lou broke up most of us were genuinely there for each other, just making jokes and talking abt how we miss and love her(bc god was 2015 a mess and what came after was all the crazy theories and confusing times). Only the toxic larries like I doll lady and lassurex(I think?) were being assholes that day and onward. The tumblr community on here was, by in large, a wonderful (dare I say safe for my introverted ass w only online friends at the time) place. And this fandom was SO SO SO huge that we usually squashed the rude peeps under a boot and went back to making jokes.

I do have plenty of friends who are still Larry shippers/larries, engage in the fandom, etc. It isn’t that deep for me or them- we’re just doing our thing. And they’re Def not toxic or crazy like the cult leaders. They’re just spectating and agreeing w certain things. I can’t relate- but I don’t like argue w them. I’m still streaming their music till this day( u can’t tell me what a feeling isn’t a BOP like it’s a B O P). (And strong has no right making me feel things in 2021). I still play the last 3 albums a couple times a month.I still watch some old videos and interviews where their youthful and vibrant personalities shine through… especially the ones from the midnight memories era bc that was the best era. I still read Larry fics(💀) bc it’s just fun. One of the best things I’ve ever read is that young & beautiful fan fiction. Truly a skilled writer. And yes in a fictional world I do ship it idc if all the other anons will have my head for it. The chemistry was v much there during those years, U won’t convince me otherwise. U can’t make me Unsee what I still see when I watch those interviews and vids. I do see the nature of their relationship during those years as suspicious and very intense and idgaf if I’m just crazy for it cus I’m not actively pushing it and pretending I know the facts. And fuck is it fun to do these things in my free time. And that’s the purpose of fandom. To have fun. None of this is that deep. And this was a fandom for those of us born in the 90s/early 2000s. Our middle school or high school or college years WERE these 5 kids. Some maintained their authenticity. Some fell off. Some- Idk. Some’s solo stuff I enjoy, some I don’t. Some I think are secretly assholes cough mr homewrecker, the rest I think are good at their core(Exept Liam I’m eh on him but I wish him the very best.) I don’t Stan them per se anymore(though I’m still emotionally attached to 1/2 of the Larry ship cough it’s not the one we hate on), but they’ll always mean a lot to me. And when any of them drop an album I will listen. Even when hs3 drops I’ll be a masochist and listen to him whine about cockburn. That’s just what it means to be a directioner. And yk what the Larry ship was so much fun for us fans but it caused sm harm to these real ppl- I wish ppl would’ve accepted it’s just a fantasy of two men who just have this intense chemistry, and likely a deep bond(that WASNT A ROMANCE.) I wish ppl would’ve accepted it when they denied it, even if their behavior was, like I said, intense and suspicious, it’s not the fandoms business. These boys were overworked asf I’m sure they didn’t appreciate us bugging them 24/7 abt it. And clearly, larries were wrong abt their perception of this bond. And if Larry ever were something *more* it’s sure as hell over now. Mr Donny chav and mr homewrecker probably never want a teenager daughter who’s allowed on the internet bc us teenage girls basically ruined a lot for them. And yk what? I feel guilt for the very minimal part I played in it. Even if it was never too serious for me- I should’ve called out some Tin hat behavior some mutuals displayed.

.

[impossible-rat-babies]

i got tagged by @heartbrreak for this meme and im sure others have tagged me in this as well but you know :/

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better (i refuse to tag 20 ppl tho)

im gonna tag: @wayhavn, @trvelyans, @theodoresart, @lvllns, @rosykims, @rosebarsoap, @ava-du-mortain, @specialistagent-morgan, @vvakarians, @bitchesofostwick, @cullenvhenan, @dickeybbqpit and whomever else!

name/nickname: owen! my mum called me “bug” when i was younger and my friend calls me “owe-y” on occasion

gender: none pizza w left beef

star sign: gemini! (moon in aries and rising in virgo)

height: 5′2″ on a good day

time: 6:46pm!

birthday: june 10th

favorite bands: bastille, radical face & mother mother

favorite solo artist: oh mitski, dodie, & watsky

song stuck in my head: admit defeat -- bastille

last movie: lord of the rings: two towers! it’s extended edition or bust

last show: the crown! i watched it with my partner ages ago

when did you create this blog: record says like. 2013 yikes

what do I post: CLOWNERY jk it’s mostly oc art and writing with a splash of fan content and appreciating friends. cultivating the experience yo

last thing googled: true grit procreate. i was recommending a brush to someone on fb

do I get asks: yea and i appreciate em

why I chose my url: bc it’s just. fun? i like the way it sounds mostly. my description is a quote from fifth element though. i had reasons for my urls in the past but they’re gone by now lol

following: lol 378? i need to unfollow unactives tho

followers: 1,051 Yikes y’all need 2 leave

average hours of sleep: like. 8-9 ig

lucky number: i dunno. when i was younger i was edgy and said 13. but i like multiples of 5. it soothes the ocd

instruments: i used to know how to play the clarinet and tried to learn the guitar

what am I wearing: some uhhh army green joggers and a sweater my mom crocheted and gave me bc it was too big for her

dream job: a professional artist? idk i had the dream once to graduate and open my own printmaking shop. i still wanna work at one though, even if i don’t open my own

dream trip: i wanna go back to paris and visit the louvre, but honestly it smells like piss so *shrug* i do wanna go new zealand and i know it’s terrible, but i would like. sob/foam out the mouth if i got to do some lotr tour stuff

last book I read: i don’t read much that isn’t IF anymore and the last one i read was like. the mindblind update? idk it could’ve been the retri alpha or the shoh alpha

favorite food: coucous! or mashed potatoes. sensory processing disorder makes enjoying “complicated” foods hard. like i had a burger for dinner and only ate half of it bc it’s a “complicated” food

nationality: the clown country--america

favorite song: oh uhhhhh i don’t have one favorite, but like. quarter past midnight by bastille and baptisms by radical face rank up there (funny how they’re both like. otp songs rip. quarter past midnight for pollux and ortega and baptisms for jericho and ulysses)

top three fictional universes: oh fuck hmmm lord of the rings, legend of zelda, and dragon age (derogatory) 

[shorkbrian]

ASKS

Hello again, asks are compiled under the cut. Please block the tag #shorkbrian answers a lot of asks# If you’d prefer not to see these types of posts from me. If I haven’t answered your ask, it’s because I’m saving it for a thirst, drabble, or fic.

I don’t ignore asks, but sometimes getting around to them overwhelms me lol. pls accept my apologies lol k here we go

I am very glad, I legit was so scared that it was too long and that it’d be disappointing bc the smut wasn’t super IN YOUR FACE yknow? But man am I glad to hear that.

I’m looking directly @ you

Someone noticed omg!!!  A lot of times I just put whatever song I played on repeat while writing that fit, but I have a *yandere* playlist that I listen to and it gets me going. Ty for noticing!!!

I’ve considered opening them permanently but I just... idek. I’d have to start deleting or ignoring the requests I don’t vibe with and Idk how to handle that lol. But thanks for the well wishes, hope your next few months treat you well friend!

Watermelon sugar why

Srsly you’re sweet but just wait until I start to really get going with all my nasty kinks okay, then you’ll be rethinking this strategy hunty lol!

I literally stalk @.vermiliren and @.kazooli and @.seita lol. Maybe when I get my blog more cleaned up, I’ll create a list of creators that I enjoy, along with fic recs. For now, here’s a link to my AO3 bookmarks which I read one like almost every single night bc I’m a horny gremlin.

I am the shark king. Sharks are my thing bro u don’t even know. I love them so much, they're dumb and big and beautiful and yeah I wish I was a mermaid who got to swim with them. Also I changed it bc I’m trying to make my blog more *professional* and all that so I can start being taken seriously askjakjdf

Compliments suck, if I'm being down and out honest. This does not bother me at all, I’m just unsure how to respond. I think I would prefer no comments, but I’m trying really really hard to just say “thank you!” and move on before I get uncomfortable. Having to fight with someone about how I perceive my self worth is exhausting, and especially so for the poor person that was just trying to say something nice and be nice to me. 

They do make me quite uncomfortable my dear lad/lassie/lasso. Say what you wish in the tags tho ! I don’t really reply to those, so there’s no pressure on me to have to say something back. I do however, see all the tags ppl use and some of them make me laugh so hard cause they’re so spot on, and it makes my day. like “Mark me down as scared AND horny” and “Bakugou better be able to bench 165 cause imma throw my fatass in his mf lap” and it kills me.

I SCEREAMED AKDHGSYDGASJSD this is the only format I'll be taking asks in now, no compliments just a yes/no answer to if my works help u cum god bless

you used the /gen!!!!! IDK what these are called but the /S and /gen and /J save my life!!!!

Frick you’ve figured me out, I do try to put like a nail-in-the-coffin sentence at the end. A lot of times it never works right, but I cannot for the life of my figure out how to end a single post ever. If anyone knows hmu pls ty

(Also ps I checked out ur blog cause yans are my jam and it is very much Not garbage!!)

That’s very kind of you, but pls don’t stay up past midnight it’s bad for ur Brian you’ll make bad decisions bro trust me all of my stuff is written after midnight

You will lafff..... but I will tell anyways..... I was prescribed a “life coach” after I got out of the hospital, which was really just a poorly disguised softcore “make sure u don’t yeet urself” type of thing. He had me write down things I liked about myself, and when I returned the sheet of paper still blank, he wrote stuff down for me. Like five sentences of “My hair and skin are unique and special” “I like animals and enjoy being kind to them” “I am worthy of respect” etc etc. and I had to look in a mirror twice a day and say those sentences to help “boost my self worth”. It sucked so bad dude, and I like got upset about it every time it came up, until finally my therapist was like “... this aint doin this sad bitch no good” and my parents got designated for yeet watch instead.

I know, logically, that (the majority of) people are not purposefully taking time out of their day to make me feel bad. They're trying to be encouraging and loving, and I appreciate it so much. But like... what do I say? If I say thanks, it’s almost like acknowledging what they're saying as true, and I can’t live with myself thinking I’m more than I am. I’m sorry you’ve had experiences that make compliments difficult for you also, I understand bro and I hope that your future holds healing and peace for you. 

Hopefully I won’t vent as much anymore lol, I’ll try to do that on my sideblog where I reblog really trigger-y memes akjdafhkjf. But thank you for your kind words bro, they’re appreciated and put in a nice lil jar.

Ah dw! This doesn’t sound like a jab. I think all of us r so sad n depressed and feel unworthy of love, so the fantasy of a Yan coming and forcing it on us and not leaving even when we lash out is just..... so attractive my heads gonna explode

me, thinking about kiri at any given moment like:

I have the next Hybrid! Kiri fic like lined up, but I’m so demotivated be I was SO CLOSE to finishing, and then wiped my computer like an IDITO

Waso, I’m taking horseback riding lessons bc my mom went:

and my grandpa told me that one of his horses was named Awaso and I immediately thot of u fun fact. But you’re so very kind, and I enjoy seeing you in my inbox. I’m never tired of u homie. You are loved and important, and it’s not an illusion. Even random strangers on the internet can feel soft towards you bro, and dats me, I’m the random stranger that likes u.

So I took Russian for a year, my dear friend, because I wanted to see if the language myth of “Russian is the hardest, Korean is the easiest” was true. I would say yes. So instead of like translating this and typing out a coherent response, I’ve resorted to google translate I’m so sorry but Виктор мог плюнуть мне в глаз, и я бы поблагодарил его. Also, the way Vitya is written in cryllic makes my heart swell it looks so cozy idek what I mean by that but it does? I treasure you man, hope to see you around in the new year and maybe??? we be good friends

Can any year be good when Kirishima Eijirou doesn’t exist?

cryface;;sad.jpg

I just imagine anyone who comes across my stuff, sitting at their computer shocked and slightly horrified, maybe turned on like

Daddy Aizawa makes me

Wait!! I have something to aid your troubles!!

ur welcome now u can be horny whenever you’d like 

pls every time we talk about Kirishima I have to act surprised like 

LISTEN BBYGORL I have had therapist Suga in the works since *checks notes* November. I am excited for it yeahhhhhh but sadly, I don’t think I will be continuing piano teacher Suga. The story is petered out in my mind, idk where it would go. Therapist sugarbird tho? We have some thots about this. Coming soon to theaters near you

[yourghastlycloseness]

ON RUNNING AND DIETING (?) ok not really, it’s more body and health stuff. A note-to-self

Blogging on my other iphone, that’s why the caps are in order. I’ve lost about one kilogram even though I’ve been eating supper — which happens when I try to skip dinner but end up ravenous and clearing the fridge and breakfast counter of morsels leftovers — and a lot of dessert. Not sure why that is. Maybe it’s what I’m eating. Generally, if I’m doing a late meal, I avoid/don’t have any craving for carbs. I always want meat or sweets.

I’ve also been doing some light running, which actually doesn’t help at all with weight loss (when I was pushing myself to run further and for longer, I gained weight lmao. So now I keep it light), but it makes you full because you end up drinking a lot of water after a run.

I think I’ve also cut down on eating big meals for dinner. OK, not really. I often do fancy meals at night after work as a way of REMINDING MYSELF THAT IF IM A PART OF THIS CAPITALIST SYSTEM I MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY WHAT IT OFFERS jk (p.s. can we talk about the way non soc sci/arts majors or ppl uneducated on the concepts in general misuse the word capitalism and communism because they want to make some smart, witty comments. I usually don’t correct them; that’s just not my thing because I don’t “know it all”. Though I am laughing at them on the inside because I have my condescending af moments. The only time I ever thought to correct was when this girl doing a presentation in architecture on Impressionism referenced Naturalism and talked about it being a movement of painting nature. I waited for the TA to say something, but she never did)

Wow I sidetracked. Point of this post is I love seeing the numbers go down each time I weight myself, but I’m also not a calorie counter. Honestly i couldn’t give a fuck, I’ll eat what I want as long as I don’t overdo it

But some learning points for myself.

How to eat less

- go to work (I really eat less when I’m working at work because I feel stressed and uncomfortable and am constantly in fight mode)

- buy a heavy lunch; eat 2/3 for lunch and 1/3 for dinner and enjoy a full dessert. You can split the dessert for both lunch and dinner too

- drink unsweetened tea with your meals

- practise eating smaller portions of rice. Eventually you get used to it that anything more than a 1/2 or 2/3’s a bowl seems too much

- it’s OK to not eat on time. Because it depends on what time you sleep anyway. Just be sure not to sleep immediately after eating. You will feel like shit

- trust your body. Does it feel warm? Can you feel the sugar in your blood? GET UP AND GO FOR A WALK/RUN

- eat balanced meals. And I don’t just mean greens and lean meats and a small serving of carbs. I mean a savoury-sweet-smoky sort of balance.

- avoid sweetened drinks. Sweet beverages aren’t a lot of fun anyway. Save the sugar for dessert.

- if you have IBS, yes, I know it sucks. But make use of it to help you cut down on food

- AVOID MOST COFFEES AND ALCOHOL YOU GENERALLY DONT LIKE THESE ANYWAY and they MESS UP YOUR GUT FOR THE DAY SO STAHP PLS

//

On running and why i should keep doing it and how I can keep doing it

- HELPS WITH ANXIETY. Heart no longer pounds like crazy when I spot roaches. I can climb the stairs just fine. What a beautiful feeling.

- sucks that they changed the street lamps to fluorescents instead of the dim orange ones, and now I can feel myself looking like a sweaty, beastly and pasty thing doing circuits at midnight. But ok, I’ll find a route that works ie. I can run up and down that short strip where the street lamps still glow orange

- I will always care about how I look when running. And that’s fine. I’ve accepted that. What’s important is to choose what time I want to run. 10.30pm-past midnight works. Running late doesn’t keep me up at night. In fact I sleep better when I run at night.

- running keeps my hair from being oily. My hair gets greasy easily (likely from years of overwashong and ruthlessly stripping it of natural oils — I used to wash twice a day. I still wash it twice a day because I can’t stand the feeling of unwashed hair, but now I keep it to one shampoo wash and one no ‘poo wash in a day)

- correct your running posture. Try not to lean forward so much. Unclench your fists

- WARM UP BEFORE AND AFTER RUNNING

- run 1-2 times a week. Keep the runs short and fun, so you don’t dread them

- keep discovering new music to listen to when you run

//

HOW TO DEAL WITH IBS (?) I’m self-diagnosed lol

- stand up or walk around after food

- consume a light breakfast and drink water in the morning - helps with bowel movement

- bathe first so you don’t waste time wondering if you’re going to have a bowel movement

- a simple zao cao routine helps shout-out to my chinesey high school for introducing this to us

- dont eat a heavy breakfast or lunch when at work; it’ll ruin your productivity and ability to focus for the rest of the day and severely upset your stomach

- bread generally causes you less problems than rice and noodles

- ramen broth is a no no

- raw salmon sashimi is also a no no

- you’re lactose intolerant: avoid milk teas and other milk-based drinks for breakfast and lunch

- VEGGIES AND FRUITS

- try not to eat dry rice

- try not to eat brown/red rice. This gives you constipation

- try to eat cooked veggies as far as possible, bcos uncooked veggies can also cause you constipation

- exercise helps with bowel movements

- Train yourself to have bowel movements only at the start/end of the day

- wake up a bit earlier before work to give your body some time to get used to being alive and awake again lol and also to decide if it has to poop

[unproduciblesmackdown]

hmm here’s me talking about su sort of lmao like i said i’m not here to be particularly scentamentle?? just say funney stories....and some opinions.....it’s really been a hot minute and i haven’t been making Long text posts about things so i can throw one out there even if it’s got no thesis statement

also like i said i just so happened to like, actually watch the first ep on actual tv when it actually premiered....all i super remember knowing about it beforehand was like “oh rebecca sugar getting her own series right on” and i was gonna check it out on that alone and then also i remember before it debuted there was an article about it in the wapo in the sort of “local”-ish section b/c it was like. hey this is based in uh yknow the dmv....delmarva area.....this whole Region.....and i (from nova and in nova at that time, and flipping thru the print wapo every day) was like haha. neat. also god damn it was 2013, hell of a year. i can tell you little about it b/c it was so crappy i just like did not bother much with things like “distinct memories” lmfao. great to have like, a weekly thing towards the end of that hot mess (november??? or smthing??) back when....god........it aired weekly.........anyways yeah i was pleasantly surprised from the start i don’t Get when people are like “can’t watch this in order :/ the first few eps don’t sell it well” like okay speak for yourself god dman....more on that later i’m sure lmfao. hot takes

my brother started watching it too just cuz he’s game for shit that way and i was keeping up with it. like i remember i thought cheeseburger backpack was extra fun and i think i showed him a rerun and i remember he thought it was funny lol the Raft Gag......and when i was watching tiger millionaire i kept For Real Laughing and he came over like what is going on.....and i think he was signed on from there........again pretty fun for it to be this weekly thing. also maybe i’m not here to be Sentamental but i was also like “oh no that Spoke to my feelings unexpected :(” during tiger millionaire when amethyst was all “you can’t let anyone make you feel like garbage” and “i only feel how i wanna feel” like guess who was in the early stages of “my self esteem is so crappy it’s starting to circle around into [trying to increase self esteem]”.........like i said hell of a time. though then that’d be 2014 by then i think?? still a hell of a time

started to get “i think i will draw the same character one million times” about it at some point in 2014 too lmfao......every instance of [me drawing the same shit one million times], which is the only way i ever draw anything, then like, benefits whatever i draw later cuz like. sure get some practice out of it. and even though like, it wasn’t quite as huge an Internet Thing as it was gonna get once i started to draw shit, it was already like, classic-me Kinda Niche to be like “hey gang who is going ham about the bored dumbass teens”....not so niche that there weren’t other people going “yeah i am” at any given time tho. and then we put our hands in the middle and go Yeah!! and jump up hsm style. it was also a great time for something Fun and (easier than marble hornets lol) to draw b/c. it simply was a good time for it.....struggling to draw shit back then even more than is like, usual. oh and also i forget but i had sort of Withdrawn from the mh fanbase b/c it got this whole influx of randos after fjsfdking the Video Game we all know the one and i was like. i am gonna.....sidle over here. nobody Likes to be in a fandom actually lmfao. and i mean even while su was getting to be A Whole Thing i was like. bro i am over here in the Donuts section and it is a little quieter and i use the tag sometimes but i’m all set, thanks. still the least Niche niche i’ve been in probably lmfao....see: the fact that probably still way most of my followers are here from su times even tho idk who’s even active still

also had a high time making some great Long Text Posts. i kind of always fail 2 grasp that even as much as my drawings that stuff leads to me actually getting to interact with people, b/c like, those text posts have me actually saying Words in them, which helps lmfao..........i think it’s like, these posts are probably Not That Fun for most people, but then for the people who Are like “oh sweet this is something that i actually want,” that’s obviously a helpful way to find a kindred spirit lmao.....like hey cool you already know i can’t shut up and am opinionated and obviously a lil much? fantastic let’s do this. plus idk it’s fun to Not Shut Up Actually. like, not the biggest deal. ppl can just Scroll Past. or not

speaking of “getting practice Not Shutting Up and Drawing Shit”.......hilarious when in late 2018 i find myself like. oh so you’re telling me this excellent character who is a self-sabotaging struggling-to-know-how-to-cope-with-shit-and-connect-with-others insecure af Teen is not appreciated / ignored / deemed Awful (and then ignored) by the majority of the fanbase?????? hahaha you don’t say....but No Problem. let me just talk about how this person has Complexity actually and is a lot more sympathetic than not and i hate all of you omg like do we have to do all of this ourselves lmfao........guess so, Fine

what am i talking about funny stories who is this funny to lmfao. okay no but okayyy what an experience when the island adventure preview came out and for like the next 4 days i did not experience depression lmao........i Jumped on the opportunity b/c it was like, early fall i wanna say??? i think sept?? 2014 and i was kinda mulling over going to gmx (which was this convention the Marble Hornets gang kept getting invited to & i’d been 2 twice b4 but missed the previous yr coz it was 2013 and i was way not thriving) and yeah jumped on the “depression / (as much) anxiety who???” superpower to Ask if it was cool if i went to a friend’s wedding in georgia for a weekend. there was no friend’s wedding in georgia. and then i went to gmx AND. ironically (not really im sure. idk what irony means and idc) gmx weekend ended up being the same weekend island adventure actually aired and when i left that morning (gmx being in nashville) my lil bro (getting up for school) was like GO GO and i actually made it in time to catch it in the hotel room but. they didn’t have the channel despite it being listed on the channel guide. i about flipped lmfao but i did see it later that weekend and flipped again. gmx was an a-okay time as well lmao that was the last time i made it

they may have never sold a licensed Lars S1 Green/Purple Snake Tee but look when i have this green racerback with a neat snake print & this necklace of purple quartz crystals and also when i was at gmx i bought this necklace with one (non purple, non actual crystals but plastic shaped like it / glossed) pendant In The Spirit Of It All and it gets compliments. anyways the point is. indirectly representing

speaking of crystals = lars i’d just like to reiterate that i’m always right. like sure i was like “look i don’t know how lars could have Crystal Magic in him but something is up with the fact he’s = pink magic flowers with crystals inside them Means Something.” i think it’s reasonable to Not have predicted he dies and gets revived w/ crystal magic that’s in him now. but that’s still a Win for realizing somethings up....tfw as early as like s2 times i’d be like “well the donuts gotta get involved in the center of adventure at Some point and also i Know it is important that steven is just lars’s rly annoying little brother and y/n do you think lars would die to protect him i think he would...” like. i didn’t wanna be That right :/

tfw me and my brother were watching rose’s scabbard while my mom was napping it out in the armchair and like silently Sharing A Look at the whole “she was beautiful” thing like. lol harold

i still don’t know how much of a Thing(tm) magfest is but as far as i can figure it it’s No Comic Con (like, thank god :| ) but still kind of a thing. anyways i learned of it cuz i saw there was gonna be a couple su panel thingies & i looked it up & we were less than an hour away and so it was like midnight but i ask my brother like hey wanna swing by this thing on this one friday. and he was like Sure. so i made it happen and he was 17 so we had to drag our dad to the bank to Notarize a form that he was allowed to be there accompanied by me. it was a big place and it also took us a while to find Registration or whatever and when we tried getting sandwiches later it cost like $7 each go figure. anyways but we were just there for the one Event & there was a room like filled with arcade games and a bunch of other consoles (also Retro though. like old computers n stuff) and they had Galaga, thank fucking god. we 2 playered that shit and wandered around and also 2 playered a game called toobin, which was funny. real gamers know. 

when we were in the (pretty long) Line to get into the Panel, i actually like. spotted a then-mutual who i (was pretty sure i) recognized from her occasional selfie lol and who i guess had travelled all the way from the west coast for the weekend. when we were actually Seated she happened to be a couple rows back and both of us on the end of the aisle and i asked my brother if he could read her nametag (to verify lol) and i bopped over to have the cringe and fail exchange of “hey do you have a Tumblr” and then i was like “haha i’m milo i’m ummmwine” and she got up to hug me and then i had to scamper back to my seat cuz shit was starting lol

like my life was not changed by this event but we had fun and. the Hilarious story is that it was also partially a Q&A and i had a Q and my brother encouraged me by again whispering “go go” as soon as the first syllable was spoken implying Line up For Questions.....i was in like, the last idk, haaalf dozen or so ppl who made it to the mic? and look i knew i was gonna be asking a niche question that like 3 other people of the hundreds in the room would care about but So What. deal with it gang, let’s have some Variety. but i was still nervous. and when i’m nervous, i a) Have A Script and b) get even chattier. and right after the person Right In Front Of Me got their answer, i guess it was noticed that it was getting down to the wire so they were like “haha okay lightning round :)” and i was like NO.......GOD..........lmfao like too late im sorry i Can’t make it lightning round. i was muy anxious.....just that, again, hundreds of people there, i have the floor, nobody’s gonna Like my quastion......and they didn’t know the answer (which i figured was v possible lol) so i was like oh no sklfjd hope this entire room doesn’t hate me. i mean of course i didn’t care if they did too much but, Nerves....also im valid, but were the like half dozen people who asked prior to me about shit that would CLEARLY be too spoilery to answer valid????? no lmfao. cmon. that’s what’s Really cringe

well here we ffw a bit b/c Mid To Late 2015 is certainly a time for me and it doesn’t really make for an interesting story so just to tldr it lmao like, got some beautiful moral support from someone as i was makin a Lifestyle Change lol and continued to get beautiful moral support from that same person and i continue to benefit from it....You know who you are!!!! tyvvm....and it occurred to me that the reason i am where i physically am is via someone i met thru su-posting.......which is true of the You Know who you are person too, which is why i brought it up lmao

uhh god not as many Stories after that lol.....def got to engage in “i’m ___ i’m gonna [draw the same character i always draw] so i won’t be so ___” during interesting times lol. love that for me

tbh the uh. Wanted arc was truly one of the best Serial Arcs, just dramatic & solid af and also it’s lars time and for a second i go “god well at least maybe now ppl will acknowledge lars is a gr8 character” and then a second later i go “Oh No they’ll only say he’s a good character *Now*” and that’s exactly what happened lmfao but well we still got as much lars fanart as we ever got outside that couple weeks aftermath... l o l . . . i had to wait One Zillion Years for my little brother to catch up to this b/c. he was watching via hulu i think where like, a full season would come out a good while after the finale. seriously i think it took him almost 2 years. im like dammit lmfao this is What Matters dfslk....fond memories when hulu was free / no login req’d / shit would be available like the day after airing

uhhhHHH crazy how this show muscled through the weird scheduling change where it was like “no weekly eps Only Erratic Hiatuses”......ppl were so foolishly Into the first “5 eps in a row” release and i was like “no i don’t like this” and then a year later i was like “you see. You See.” rip

i think we can even ffw to sutm at that point lol....im like im in this for lars okay lmfao kinda Shrugggg @ things by this point lol like finale shminale. where’s he at. and i really wasn’t paying a world of attention to like, prior-to-release lore n announcements so i was just plunged into this chaos of like sorry???? excuse me?? of all the people in the world sarah stiles?????? lfsdj like noooo don’t show me these tweets lmfao......truly it’s fine i’m being Hilarious but it’s also very real that like, when i see things like “showtime(tm)” or “SHO” or “billions content” i’m just doused with Dread b/c i hate this series lmao i swear to christ. but it’s really Fine lmfao like. i was kinda “eh :/” to “yea this is alright” about the rest of it but spinel was The Highlight lmfao and having $50 to go ham on her animation was great but really the voice acting Made It.....like the entire takeaways was uh the other friends sequence and fuckin uhh this part. fuck it up ms. stiles........hit it out of the park..........cain was the first funny bitch and spinel was the second. that thought just came to me and i will not elaborate. call that a revelation. oh and also it was a relief cuz i was like “i s2g if this Antagonist is like, aquamarine-style annoying af....i will die” but No. spinel is annoying af in another way which is her rights and i don’t want to die about it lmfao. she’s good.......i don’t even resent the “how come whenever some rando shows up ready to literally kill everyone for no good reason, all of you are ready to be like ‘wow an icon’ and we can’t have 10% of that energy for the teen who’s kinda bitchy b/c he’s annoyed by life and crap???” thing b/c i mean, she had her whole Arc all at once and also is good enough for it i think. the nadir was when the one rando shows up for like One episode like “i Don’t want to kill everyone :3 syke >:)” and for some reason people were like “omg iconic. call them on their ‘don’t kill everyone’ bullshit” like lol i hate you guys

well i like lars’s [last outfit we see him in] and i feel like it only backs up the bi agenda. another epic gamer moment had been when it became a Popular Hc that lars is trans b/c he is lmao. and everyone was all “why is everyone sayign this why would you want him to be trans he sucks” like get good grandma!!!!!!!! it’s too late. well that’s the end of my post. me in 2014 being like “wow way to have something to keep up with b/c now i have to outlive it to get all the dnads content i guess” and here i am. but it’s almost April 2020 so. haha 

hmm what’s a less ominous ending. oh shit another thing that was funny is i was like So about these Skull Plugs featured in this semi-official drawing of lars once and then horror club came out (fun b/c i like horror) and had the skull plugs for Real & they were glow in the dark. that was a big day for me even seeing the promos lmfao. except then i guess it was foreshadowing, so again i end this with Death. don’t we all

wait no lsfdjs What tf was matthew moy talking about “i like your hair.” dude dropping an i-guess cut line on us lmfao. alright alright im done

[sarahjaneadventures]

whose your favorite doctor? favorite companion? best episode? is there a particular pairing in the show that you really liked? how about a pairing you wish never existed? If you had a TARDIS would you travel more in time or in space? (sorry for like spamming you with questions lol,,, hope you're doing well!!!!)

I’m doing GREAT!! Thank you so much!! I hope you’re doing well too, and I fully welcome so many questions!!My favourite Doctor HAS to be Nine. My first Doctor, my Doctor. If you’ll pardon the pun, Eccleston’s approach to the Ninth Doctor is utterly fantastic. And he’s not the dark Doctor that everyone makes him out to be, he’s so full of hope and certifying the importance of the people of this world (”Who said you're not important?” speech in Father’s Day) and he’s everything I stand for. You see his actions have consequences, you see him in shock at disastrous happenings (Losing Rose in Bad Wolf), you see him war torn. But above all, you see him a good man.  

Favourite companion is definitely Rose. I think it’s obvious that Season 1 is my favourite season at this point. It’s a similar situation like above with Rose, everything I stand for. I first watched Doctor Who when I was 4, when the show aired, and it has had such a massive imprint on my life. I grew up aspiring to be Rose, and I already connect to her so much as a working class girl being given a bad hand at life and just wanting to see more and do more. Meeting Billie Piper was an honour and something I wanted to do since I fell utterly head over heels for her, she’s my biggest inspiration and I let her know just how much Rose as a character means to me, and meant to me growing up. I have a lot of love for a lot of characters, especially minor ones who I like to build on (if my @ for jakesimmonds isn’t telling), but Rose will always be my number one. 

Well, my FAVOURITE episode has to be Boom Town. And I still hold it high up there, the cheesy fun of Doctor Who we all love, one of the best groups, the questionings of government and capital punishment, the Rose & Mickey development? So so good and it’s fantastically acted, but best, no bias...Midnight. The mob mentality of Midnight, no visible monster, everything acted, the Doctor helpless and the bystander sacrificing themselves, and never actually knowing. Favourite pairing? Probably a bit obvious knowing my love of Season 1....Yeah, Rose and Nine. Timepetals is one of my favourite ships, and I do love Ten/Rose but Nine/Rose holds a special place in my heart. And not even in a romantic way, although that’s absolutely there, it’s just. They’re so good together, their dynamic was amazing, calling each other out on faults, seeing each other as equals. Like? Ok, they share the braincell. They share the love braincell. They’re just [SCREAMS] 

Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/Reinette.  Ten/ReiFuck Moffat. Fuck the Girl in the Fireplace. FUCK ten/reinette its SO BAD. dr who b like [ignores the classism of this episode and also reduces reinette to a mistress/love interest] and ppl b like [oh one of moffats best!] and i b like [SCREAMS]Also while we’re at bad ten pairings? him and joan the racist fuckwit. GOD i never expected to swear in this post its all just SO BAD. Also, it’s not one that I’d rather NOT exist, but I do like the concept, I just wish it was done better - which is Docriver. The concept of lovers meeting in the wrong order and loving them more and them loving you less just because of circumstance is SO SO INTERESTING and could’ve been great it’s an amazing concept, but you never really see them fall in love (12/River is where its at. That shit good.) and their treatment towards each other (11/River b like....u hear sumn) is aaaah yikes and also River revolves entirely around the Doctor and that just ain’t it :/ So it’s not that I don’t want it to exist I just wish it was executed better!AS FOR SPACE TIME TRAVELS!! I feel like exploring the edges of the universe should be an opportunity that is immediately taken up HOWEVER I am an ex-history student...i am an ex-politics student, seeing the history and politics as it were back in the day would be AMAZING and such an opportunity that I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes to. All my special interests of historical periods and getting to explore that?? PLEASE?? DRESSING UP IN HISTORICAL FASHION?? PLEASE??? I JUST WANT TO DRESS UP IN TUDOR WOMENS CLOTHES AND MEET KATHERINE HOWARD

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

idk - sometimes it is more important to connect - played w Liam him backing me then vice Versace sorta - went straight into pa no muss fuss less to go wrong - I don't think anything we played quite came out as expected unless u expected mumbled lyrics and some general sloppiness mostly moi - yah no surprise - liam seem to struggle a bit - but - a big one - when we connect it's locked in - its flying its magic - and healing - we havent tawk much and heavy shit went down - we do talk serious after outside away from ppl - then he has to get back home - madrone is close and he left ppl hanging while he came to play w me  - he didnt tell me till after we play and talk cuz he knew i just tell him stay chill home u got guests  - the talktalk almost a formality - he wanting me to know he is just dealing not shutting me out - which i knew - we just wanna make sure we connected - we make it thru heavy shit before and we walk in love 

the audience - I think they dug it - maybe - yah they did - cuz they feel the love and its messy sometimes painful and things get fucked up - its all real as fuck and beautiful - and for a minute actually we played over 30 it seemed like forever it felt like 5 - shared love in a performance - casual - well I did have my rock star scarf - it gets in the way lol - yah we played down the drain w Liam singing - then a morph into something new - then a deep space 9 type jam that he sang some words at one point - swear to gawd - he playing a mic'd acoustic me my electric - couldn't tell who playing wat our fingers free - melodies emerge some familiar some more a deja vu future  - so like i sed - we play over 30 - liam asks if we have more time lol  - tom actually considers but b4 we played things were running a couple minutes early - now running late - btw - u no how i hatez tuning on stage - after 1 song - i gess we were a little intense - liam had no choice and i checked and 2 strings so out - while playing we bend notes to in tune - compensate intuitively avoiding bad strings - idk  - its like when i play to someones voice - no reel reference point except in mind - i actually mumble an apology into the mic - we noodle a bit to make sure we in tune w each other  slowly morphing into actually playing - it seem natural but in retro everything but  - esp onstage  - then again we play w stage intensity when we fuck around at the music store or casual onna porch of kava  - i mean one time at guitar center imma mid solo and snot pour out - lol - i dont stop playing 

so a bit of time pass - b4 leaving - i lissen to a few ppl one whom is going back to london  - people make a point to tell me they liked our performance and ask who liam iz - how we connected  - i once told someone - everything is better w liam inna mix - its true 

i actually am working on being just a bit - less sloppy  - actually learning the changes in liam and vita songs - tho last night we played white carnations which i have a recording to practice along to and have - and i went blank and fumble finger around the fretboard lost for the 1st verse and chorus  - it wuz 2nd to last song - maybe i wuz tired - we had played over an hour and playing singing performing well  - and prob w more intensity than realize - did we go thru this last night - i remember writing for over an hour on a tab that had been reopened 1 too many times - i know better  - yah i coulda saved by using cut copy blah blah but as tired as i realized i was prolly wooda fucked it up and got frustrated  

yah the futures uncertain jim  - not sure about how near the end is   (j morrison roadhouse blues - tired may not post song ) 

right now - we get together when we can - we create we play we have fun we love we take care of each other  - its early daze  - known liam just over a year - vita 3 months ?  

its awmost midnight - gotta do dishes - change clean kitty litter and box also almost 4got 

laterz

love

[visitedupon]

what’s your name/alias?

hi, i’m rachel! the admin of this place, obviously. i also go by velouria sometimes, so you can call whichever idc!

what’s your timezone and how often do you think you’ll be on?

est! when i’m on a normal schedule and not enjoying winter break, i’m on pretty much every day from mid afternoon to the middle of the night. the only days that i really have to be good on are mondays and thursdays because of class, and i’ll also be a little touch-and-go from dec 24 to dec 27 due to being at my sister’s house for christmas. other than that, you can usually reach me on discord!

how did you come across Southbound?

i saw it in the tags ;););) just kidding, i founded it, but in my totally unbiased opinion, i think i’d find it intriguing if i saw a promo post or a friend recommended it! 

what you would do if you got caught in Boot Hill’s trap?

honestly i lived in arizona for eight years and am now a full on midwestern hoe, so i’d be pissed af there wouldn’t be any snow or pine trees. but i’d probably just resign myself to my fate and make the best of it, and y’know that trick lil boot hill has a way of making people forget the things they loved on the outside...

what’s your favorite scary story? are you currently reading any books?

i’ll forever be a stan for the infected mold town nosleep series. but out of the horror books i’ve read, a head full of ghosts by paul tremblay is really good for genuinely spooky stuff! currently i’m reading misery by stephen king but i’ve barely cracked it open bc of sb lmfaoo. i do have a goodreads account tho if anyone wants to add me!!

what song has been stuck in your head lately?

i’ve had drive my car by the beatles in my head for a few days but today it’s go to church by ice cube. for some reason who’s that girl by eurythmics was in my dream last night tho, idk why. i have varied musical interests!

what do you think Boot Hill is? hell, purgatory, another plane of existence, etc?

who’s to say!!! not me!!!!!!!!! in my opinion, boot hill is a very real place, it’s the southbound highway that’s the one in question. or maybe not, who KNOWS

if you had to pick a place of residence in Boot Hill, where would you live?

i’d live at the silver spurs because it’s one of my favorite residential locations and very few ppl live there right now!! snatch ‘em up!!! or i’d live on amen mountain street, because it’s fun to say. (fun fact: in my head the locals pronounce it ehh-men/eamon instead of ah-men bc they have rural accents.)

what’s your local grocery store chain called?

there’s giant eagle, marc’s, heinen’s, etc in my area but i come from a giant eagle family! though since they put in a meijer’s, i go there all the time at like midnight just to walk around. idk why but it’s medicinal and calming!! there are apparently acme food stores but i’ve only ever seen it on the complete other side of the city so they don’t exist in my mind. funny thing is, most of the state of ohio has kroger but not in cleveland, oh no! giant eagle is actually a pittsburgh based store but for some reason, we have them here too. i like to imagine pittsburgh and cleveland have a mob boss style agreement to keep kroger out of the city.

um. I LOVE GROCERY STORES, there i said it!

[closetcasefabray]

new clexa NY au idea based on life & also so i don’t hate my fucking neighbor.

i live in an old ass building with thin walls. my roommate & i can be really loud, we acknowledge that.

the first time our neighbor knocked on our door there was a west coast mets game & it was 11pm when we got a knock on the door. ok fair.

second time me & my roommate & his gf were watching john wick 2 at like midnight & the dialogue is a fucking whisper so it was turned up & then (spoiler) his house fucking explodes & the sound system my roommate has is intense so when we immediately heard a knock after, again, fair.

the third time, my roommate got out of work early so he was getting ready to meet with his gf earlier & we celebrated him not working a double (he works 60 hours a week between two demanding jobs, just finished 21 days streak without a day off) & so we were dancing around to Janelle Monae at 3:30pm ON A FRIDAY & THEN THERE WAS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR. she was in her PJs & asked us to turn it down. like bish WHATS YOUR SCHEDULE WHEN ARE WE ALLOWED TO HAVE FUN????

apparently two nights ago A&E (roommate & gf) were watching TV & at like 11pm my neighbor came knocking & my roommate just shouted through the door to go away lol. his gf was like “i know we can be loud but we were seriously just watching TV.” so my roommate just loudly said “no more TV. guess we can go have loud sex???!!”

so basically our neighbor needs to evaluate where she’s living bc we also live next to a major route with overnight trucks constantly laying on their horns & it’s just NY. we’ve been on eggshells ever since this all started. my roommate even rerouted the audio so we can watch movies after 11pm without the sound system & with just the tv speakers.

but i was just thinking about au’s to not be pissed at this girl & a past clexa week prompt for enemies to (friends to) lovers came to mind & while i am not at all attracted to my neighbor i love the idea of clexa neighbors.

so NY Neighbors AU!

lexa’s one year into getting her phd in political science. frat boy!clarke works in a restaurant to afford making art in her free time (though she hasn’t been making enough in her opinion). she lives with raven, smoking & drinking a ton of beer based on the recycling lexa always hears them lug out. she also hears clarke & raven singing & dancing to janelle monae & lizzo.

plus to tie it into my other NY au i never got around to, clarke gets drunk after work one night & ends up in a shared cab with lexa. lexa mom arms her when the cab comes to an abrupt stop. but bc they don’t get along, clarke refuses to admit how fucking endearing it was.

one night during midterms lexa hears music & ppl over clarke’s apartment. she knocks on their door for like the fourth time but it’s raven’s bday so raven drunkenly shoves a beer in lexa’s hand & invites her into the party even though lexa’s in sweats & clarke just happens to look really fucking gorgeous. she drinks the beer to be polite & is introduced to their gang. she knows lincoln from her gym. (he’s in grad school to become a physical therapist so he works there part-time.) monty & jasper made pot brownies, so clarke is maybe a little high & maybe smiles more at lexa than she ever would sober. raven shoves another beer in lexa’s hand & tells her to stay “let loose, girl. you’re either going to join the party or be mad about hearing the party.” so a little later octavia finds lexa admiring a painting on the wall & tells lexa that clarke’s the artist.

later when lexa goes to say bye to clarke, she walks in on clarke in only her underwear making out with niylah. she awkwardly apologizes & leaves.

the next day lexa slips an apology note under clarke’s door. an hour later clarke shows up with a coffee & milk & sugar on the side & a cup of tea in case she doesn’t like coffee. lexa takes the tea bc she’s particular about her coffee & she swore if she said she only takes coffee with almond milk, clarke was going to go get some.

clarke ends up having lexa write down her schedule. “raven & i can be loud & we don’t work normal hours & we both work a lot so when we see each other we want to hang out. sometimes it ends up being noisier than expected. but we can try to keep it down when you have a lot to do.” & lexa kinda smiles & says, “so no more of raven doing impressions of tom waits at four am?” & clarke cringes “sorry. she’d gone out with octavia & her brother & brought them back. if it’s any consolation she woke me up too.”

clarke brings lexa tea the night before she has to hand in a draft for a thesis (it was on the schedule!). they talk for a bit & when clarke goes to throw out lexa’s tea cup she sees empty coffee cups & demands an explanation. clarke eventually finds out which coffee shop & brand of almond milk lexa prefers.

clarke meets lexa’s roommate/cousin, anya. anya’s hardly around bc she travels for her job a lot. also just got out of a messy relationship so she’s purposely traveling a lot. anya thinks clarke’s a bratty hipster kid for a hot second, but she also sees how her cousin looks at clarke.

lexa hears clarke & niylah laughing as they climb the steps of the apartment after a night out. she’s grateful for the music bc she didn’t want to hear them hook up.

clarke knocks on lexa’s door & asks if she wants to go to the beach on the 4th of july. “you really don’t have anyone else who wants to go?” & clarke just shrugs, “a lot of my friends are working, but i wanted to ask you.”

ok more later bc long post but mobile doesn’t let me do “read more” soooo...

[cyanpeacock]

Realtalk(tm): Midnight Edition

MAN all that psychosis was some Seriously Weird shit . i keep thinkin about it

an d yet. im like, well, shit, in some ways, I Needed That? 

long Trauma Processing Post under the cut

a whole bunch was very, Oh, Okay, So I Was Right, and those General Things from Before (i.e. when I was a child) WERE serious mental health concerns, that still exist, that I need to not do a Mother on and go “it’s probably nothing/overactive imagination/just acting out for attention”

and a whole bunch was very, like, well, just straight up disturbing frightening psychosis, of a duration and intensity new to me, and despite the bizarre and at times inappropriate content, it brings me a weird kind of relief to know i went Totally Batshit outside in broad daylight and nobody ever laid a hand on me? nobody smacked me? nobody yelled at me or got REALLY funny with me? they just, uh, let me go batshit off on my own? i almost certainly disturbed and/or offended some people, but no Punishment was dealt??????

like... the only people who spoke to me were (retrospectively obviously, at the time not obviously) concerned about my wellbeing, rather than trying to berate me and shut me up for their comfort? although i did still react internally as though that were the case. but like... How Delightful! the world i was walking through is MUCH kinder than my “family” ever was!!! those guys just saw a sick person? and not somebody being “difficult/playing up/bratty/childish”??? wtf. i’m still kind of like, is that for real???

and a whole bunch of the Episode was also “oh. okay. that was TOTALLY actually about this SPECIFIC thing from my past that is not always in my accessible life memories, but That Fucking Happened, And Its Processing And Integration Are Incomplete, because my parents were emotionally constipated and didn’t remotely know the meaning of Mental Health”

some of it is Specific Incidents. a lot of it is about like... alternating fucking, like, total abandonment, then Absolute Surveillance And Control “We” Have To Monitor Your Every Action And “We” Will Punish You If You Do Not Comply To The Restrictions And Regulations

like ahahahha. okay backstory. as a kid-kid i had literally No supervision on the computer, no like, web filters, no time locks, stumbled across 4chan and whatnot far too young, nobody noticed for Years. which, uh, that is BAD parenting. that is REALLY bad form, and i was made to feel like that was My Fault, somehow. but hey! to me, this was normal! there was a whole bunch of weird interesting stuff on the internet that really distracted me from how shitty Coming Home felt! the computer is Fun!!!!!

and then!!! while i understand the INTENTION of this -- later on “They” brought in a whole fucking load of surveillance, moved me to the bedroom next to my mother’s so they could “keep an eye on me”, put software on MY school laptop to kick me off the machine, software on the router that monitored every single webpage i went on? i was in my mid to later teens by this point??? like, the point where most kids get MORE freedom and trust, not less?! literally i heard shit from adults like “we can’t trust you” and now i’m like. oh. oh, okay. yeah. that’s... not right.

now i was a quick boy and made myself a workaround in the form of an Ubuntu LiveCD, disguised as a blank disk that i kept with other CDs, and that lovely beast TOR worked some miracles for me. but like, what the fuck?? i was going to all those fucking lengths just to try and get some human contact with people who actually did care about me, Away from my hellhole family and equally hellish school. all the fucking Being Watched made me feel sicker and sicker, i was self harming more, hiding it better, hurting other ppl increasingly because i was acting in reaction to my own pain. 

like. you can’t like... go from total neglect, to fucking CIA levels of invasion of privacy. like, that’s abuse, that’s just going from one extreme to the other. 

that’s what was so jarring about it all? like, sometimes, there would just be Nobody emotionally available at home. that sucked, but hey, it’s what i grew up with, i was used to it. then other times, it would be TELL ME EVERYTHING. I HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. EVERY INTIMATE DETAIL. NO SECRETS ALLOWED. TELL ME EVERYTHING. still with No emotional capacity there. and i was NOT used to that. that shit made me “paranoid”. uh, fucking YEAH? 

like... anybody would get paranoid in emotional solitary confinement with people watching their every fucking move. shit felt like being in a cell with the guards walking past glaring at you through the food slot periodically. “come out of the corner so I can see what you’re doing” and all that. i developed like... so many sides. to deal with it. constantly fucking flipping over. 

the priority was and is Maintain The One That Can Do School. Maintain Him. He Can Get Grades, He Satisfies The Mother, He Can Get Away From This. and i guess i did? and i’m gonna get a degree, like, a real one, a fucking good one if i keep working as hard as i have been, which... well, shit, what else can I do? this is what i am Built For. but i’d be like, flipping over with a side that is literally a terrified child that bolts to its bedroom and hisses and growls at threats outside the door. and my mother would say shit like “i think it’s just your hormones.” what kind of wack-ass shit. denial levels over 9000.

man like i’m angry but numb to it? in a sort of, oh, okay, woah, is this what i was dealing with? is this the shit i was living through? and this was denied and minimized so many times, and so many people said “well I’m sure she loves you really,” that i’d learned to say to myself “it’s not that bad, she loves me really, she’s doing the best she can” when i was literally like... cutting so much i was bleeding thru my trousers at school? i’d been trained to just like, dissociate so hard i couldn’t actually name or talk about ANY of the things that were happening to and around me that were making me feel so shitty?

YEAH so . that was Also Fucked Up.

and s///pinel like....... wsdfsjdghhjd what the fuck. huge mood. wanted while I was a fun little entertaining creature that could do Tricks and Impress and Make People Laugh!! and then i got Difficult To Deal With. Too Much. Annoying. and wasn’t emotionally valued any more! And I Turned Into A Fucking Unstable Destructive Maniac. 

yyyyeeeuuup i definitely totally did the I HATE YOU WHY WON’T YOU LEAVE ME BUT I LOVE YOU WHY AM I LASHING OUT AT YOU SO MUCH DON’T LEAVE ME I HATE YOU thing. it was not fun for anybody (understatement). and i have No Intention of living in the “grown up” version of “I hate you but we’re ~family~ so I’m going to politely tolerate your presence while I’m numb or miserable.” i’m not about it. no sir no way no how.

YH. yeah. okay i’m gonna end this post Here because if i keep goin i’ll get so mad I give myself a migraine RIP. that’s kind of a Whole Bunch huh.

[theleastcarefulofgamedevs]

hehehehehehehehe ur turn. overshare pals

hehe im lov u ceec :)

---

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles and soda cans!

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate.... im lov it

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

hardworking, earnest, and honestly? they gave me too much credit ebagweaganegioawnegew

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

soda bottles!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

somewhere between boho, goth, and grunge hehe

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones!

8. movies or tv shows?

movies,,

9. favorite smell in the summer?

you know that wet pavement smell after it rains? love that

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

dodgeball hehehe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

nothin tbh. i don’t wake up early enough for it

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Writing Music! i made it hehehe

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

GUMMY BEARS AND JELLY BEANS

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

“A Child Called ‘It’“ by Dave Pelzer

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

cuddled up to someone in blankets,,, im lov anything with my s/o tbh

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

i have this beat up pair of blue slip ons that have bloodstains on em bc i got a nosebleed one day bwaeiugbaweugbaweubguaw

18. ideal weather?

post-raining, or like. just before it starts raining

19. sleeping position?

anything with my s/o or bein wrapped in like. a billion blankets

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

on my home pc in my room!

21. obsession from childhood?

dice and video games!

22. role model?

i know it’s gonna sound dumb but like. a lot of characters from media have influenced me a lot, like sans/komaeda etc. another one from my real life would be my aunt on my mom’s side!

23. strange habits?

i bounce my leg while listening to music or stressed,, that’s abt it. OH and i like twirling a small blanket around on my arm bc... acrobatics of sorts

24. favorite crystal?

amethyst, but anything clean cut and rounded looks rlly nice imo,,

25. first song you remember hearing?

the first day i remember in my life was christmas at my grandma’s when i was 4, so probably random christmas music ubwegebwgwebgoibgweg

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

sometimes when i get tired of sitting around at home i like to walk down to the dog park by my house! 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

cuddle,,,,,,,,,,, wrap up in a blanket with some freshly baked cookies n just. be there

28. five songs to describe you?

megalovania, medley rush 2 from the sonic rush ost, the promised neverland english op, metal crusher from undertale, metal scratchin’ from sonic rush

29. best way to bond with you?

just talk to me! im godawful at starting convos but i love talkin to ppl! 

30. places that you find sacred?

every person’s room feels that way, as well as obvious places, like churches n whatnot. we went n visited my aunt’s old house so my mom could pick up some stuff and being in her room after she died in 2015 was just like. an emotion i can’t rlly describe

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

hoodie, trackpants, n sneakers hehe

32. top five favorite vines?

back at it again @ krispy kreme, ADAM, they were roommates, two dudes in a hot tub, my croissant

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either “be there soon” or “ily” 

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

none tbh. i don’t watch much tv so i don’t see ads often

35. average time you fall asleep?

either 10:30 or sometime after midnight. no in between 

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

it was a rage comic

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade, but i LOVE tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

LEMON CAKE....

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

i was walkin in the halls with my friend and someone dropped a styrofoam cup of pasta on my friend’s head from the second floor awbegiuawbeguiawbguaewg

41. last person you texted?

the person who sent this ask heheheheh

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

jacket pockets!

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie!

44. favorite scent for soap?

anything really, but i like whatever my s/o uses bc it would remind me of them!

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

underwear tbh. like. that and a tshirt or just underwear is the only way i can sleep

47. favorite type of cheese?

sensory issues say i have to hate all kinds of cheese outside of like. grilled cheese so let’s go with that/cheddar

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

dragonfruit! 

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

GOD pretty much every quote from monomi or chiaki in danganronpa 2, but mostly “if you learn to love yourself, that love will continue to carry you for your whole life! love, love...”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

OH HERES A FUCKIN STORY OK so i was at my friend’s house with a bunch of others bc we were doin a sleepover type thing and we were eating raising canes in his attic at like 3 am and some guy high on like. 3 different drugs at once got impaled through the leg on his fence. nobody saw him but we knew he was there and the cops were there in like 3 minutes. that very same friend has some of the most wack stories ngl

51. current stresses?

just doing well in school and making sure my s/o is happy!

52. favorite font?

comic sans.......................... im sorry

53. what is the current state of your hands?

my palms b sweaty but my fingers are dehydrated tbh. typin

54. what did you learn from your first job?

work.... difficult

55. favorite fairy tale?

probably the princess and the frog!

56. favorite tradition?

christmas!

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

probably my most noteworthy traumas tbh. gettin therapy for em, too

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

writing, my ability to overcome obstacles, being able to help ppl as well as i can, and making friends fast!

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Not dead yet.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Probably either shounen, romance, or moe,,,,

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“It’s a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like these, kids like you... should be burning in hell.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

sans, komaeda, makoto naegi, komaru naegi, toko fukawa, chiaki nanami, and chihiro fujisaki!

63. five songs that would play in your club?

they’d all be fall out boy tbh. that and videogame osts

64. favorite website from your childhood?

armor games hehe

65. any permanent scars?

i don’t think so? at least, not yet

66. favorite flower(s)?

roses and anything blue!

67. good luck charms?

my dice sets!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

vanilla york peppermint patties... gross

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

pikmin in pikmin 1 who are underneath a bridge when it’s completed are killed because they get pushed through the ground

70. left or right handed?

right handed!

71. least favorite pattern?

probably the hellish bumpy pattern all teachers have all over their fuckin classrooms

72. worst subject?

math

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

chicken nuggets in milkshake... good. or frankly just like. cooked chicken mixed with anythin cold like ice or ice cream

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like. 3 or 4

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i was eating a crunch bar and it fell out hehe

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

I WOULD DIE FOR FRENCH FRIES.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

any small blooming plant, like a single rose or flower!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

hrm. coffee from a gas station tbh

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

NEITHER LOOK GOOD LMAO and i don’t have a driver’s license. that’s just like. a prediction

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

jewel tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

lightning bugs!

82. pc or console?

either works but i spend more time on pc!

83. writing or drawing?

writing, but i like both!

84. podcasts or talk radio?

talk radio, but i love podcasts like TAZ or Critical Role! 

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither? but probably barbie bc it’s more well known? idk

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cupcakes all the way b

87. your greatest fear?

me being the last person i know alive. i’d rather die than outlive everyone

88. your greatest wish?

i hope that no matter what there is after we die, i get to be with the people that are most important to me. 

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my s/o and family tbh

90. luckiest mistake?

buying danganronpa bweguowabguawebogbaweibg

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights!

93. nicknames?

i go by wes, dev, bines, anything rlly

94. favorite season?

spring!

95. favorite app on your phone?

tumblr hehe

96. desktop background?

it’s the ddlc cast! it’s a greyscaled image of four of the events cut together and their eyes glow hehe

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

only one, and it’s my dads bc i have to call him every time i go to my grandparents’ hehe

98. favorite historical era?

probably the one we’re in now tbh, but like. also hate it

[orthographewrites]

1 - 25 (/or at least the ones you’ve not answered so far)

ROLEPLAYING HABITS: 

1. what’s a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot?

I break like… all of them. It’s shameful but grammar has never really been my thing. Writing is so fluent and you don’t have to bend yourself after rules that tend to constantly change depending on whatever author made something popular for a while – as long as you make sense whilst writing! 

2. are there any languages besides english in which you think you could comfortably roleplay?

Well, I am Swedish so obviously I’d also be comfortable writing in my native tongue – to some degree. I find Swedish to be ugly as heck and try and avoid it if possible. 

3. how often do you reach for a synonym dictionary when writing? how about mentally?

I definitely do it more mentally then I do looking things up on my computer, it probably wouldn’t help much either way because I only tend to go with synonyms whenever I can’t find the words I want and once my brain poops it poops! I’d rather get my reply done than stall trying to find a fancier word to match. 

4. how often do you need to translate your own or the other’s writing with a dictionary or google when writing and reading replies?

Not as much as I used to, that’s for sure. I had this weird phase a few years back when I’d write the reply up in Swedish first and then translate it to English using google translate instead of trusting my own skills. It helped me understand/learn some new words, but you know! These days it happens rarely, maybe a few times a month but it’s mostly me checking to see whether I’ve used the correct spelling etc. 

5. do you listen to music while you write?

No, it’s another thing I’ve stopped doing. I keep telling myself I should open up my playlist whilst working on stuff but it never happens. 

6. do you have ideal writing circumstances when you can do a lot of drafts or tackle really long ones very easily?

Ohh, I guess I have to be focused to fully get through more than one reply at a time. No youtube to keep me busy, no messages to interrupt my thinking – just me and me drafts. I also need to have slept well/not been to work in a while. 

7. are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer?

Evening or day! I used to be a night writer, but I’m training myself to turn off technology around midnight and I tend to get kind of sleepy around said time so… Morning is a lmaooo, I’m not awake until lunch. 

8. how does tiredness affect your writing?

It leaves me lackluster, zero imagination and with no patience. I tend to not write at all if I’m tired, unless the thread is really good and the person I’m up against isn’t around too often. Count them spelling errors tho.

9. have you ever written a serious reply intoxicated?

I don’t drink. 

10. how much do you proof-read as you are writing vs. proof-read at the end?

Depends on how long the reply is! If it’s more than three paragraphs I tend to give myself a quick break and move back to the start to correct errors and sentences that sound off. Then I tend to give it another quick read before I send it, making sure I feel somewhat fine with the outcome. I’m way too into editing and rewriting, it’s rare I post a reply without proof-reading. 

11. when you are writing a reply, how much ahead in the thread do you plan?

Depends on the thread! Sometimes I like to dwell on connections and such before bed, but they’re also supposed to be written between two people and I can’t assume what my partner will reply with -- ya know? I do, however, tend to plan my replies whenever I got time to spare. Saves me time whenever I do wanna do them drafts. 

12. is there ever been a time when you’ve had to drop a roleplaying partner because you’ve found their writing style exhausting?

Here on my 1x1 I can’t say it’s ever happened, I’ve mostly just drifted away from those I don’t click with. In rp groups though it’s happened plenty of times, because either they give shallow/short answers which forces me to do all the work whilst replying or they just don’t seem very into our threads and it just brings it down to a low. 

13. does writing roleplay things in public spaces make you uncomfortable?

Nope! I’ve written replies in school and at the library countless of times, it’s kind of peaceful and often give me a time limit to work with so I’m more effective heh. 

14. what do you do after you see a person has replied? do you read it immediately, or do you wait for it to show up on the dash? do you like it, draft it immediately, etc?

I mean, if someone’s replied it should show up on the dash, right?? Or have I missed something?? I’m so confused. But if I can read it I definitely will, yes! As said, I work up my replies inside my head before I type them down and I tend to draft them as soon as I can. 

15. how often do you need to change the icon in your reply while or after writing the reply?

I don’t use icons but uhh I add my gifs and such after I’m done writing, and sometimes it works right off the bat and other times I’ll have to click through a few of them. 

16. do you first get in the “zone” when writing, or do you start writing and “enter” it that way?

I think I enter it? Never really thought about it. I tend to open up a reply and the “zone” takes over I’ll get a lot more done I guess. 

17. what is your biggest obstacle to writing every day, if time doesn’t count?

I could never write every day, that’s just impossible for me these days. Usually my energy levels are low, I lack motivation or I don��t have threads that truly speak to me at the moment. It’s a bit of this and that. 

18. what’s your inbox count currently? what did you do to get it so high/low?

Nothing! People don’t really have a reason to reach out that way?? 

19. how many drafts is a paralysing amount?

Maybe about 20? Especially if it’s longer replies. I tend to keep my drafts below the 20 mark because of this. 

20. if you are writing a wrong reply that’s not working out, do you save what you have to be continued at another date, or do you scrap it and rewrite?

If I do, it’s probably my mood that’s wrong for said reply. I tend to draft it with whatever I’ve got and then I’ll revisit it some other time once my head is a lot more clear and willing to cooperate. It’s rare I delete everything and start over. 

21. does making icons give or take away energy to write? what about other graphics?

I don’t use icons or graphics, I’d rather be without either! 

22. longest reply you’ve ever written on mobile?

Nope. Nah. No. 

23. does the total amount of threads you have going on matter to you, or just how many you owe?

Only the amount I owe! What I can’t see can’t hurt me omg. 

24. what’s your thought process when you format? any unspoken rules you follow?

Formatting is for weak ppl. Stop that. 

25. how does your follower count affect your mood?

Not at all? People follow if they want to follow, I didn’t make this blog with getting followers in mind. I’m just here to rp and have fun. It’s nice to see that follower count rise though, you’re all more than welcome to the party!

[spitestudies]

hello everyone!! as a high school junior taking 4 aps, 3 other classes, preparing for the act, trying to do college research, stage managing a musical, and trying not to lose my mind, here are some fun n handy tips for not Dying when ur schedule is hell!  

if you found this post helpful maybe give it a like/reblog and check out my other posts here!

01 | PLANNING AND PREPARING

so much of getting and staying organized has to do with organizing your time in advance.  there are a million ways to do this--google calendar, a bullet journal, a planner, some post-it notes.  my system involves three parts: a google calendar, a planner, and an online to-do list app.  

google calendar: this is mostly for events.  i can see when i have rehearsals, classes, doctor’s appointments, etc.  this helps me see how much available time i have and budgeting it properly.  

planner: i take this with me to school, and i use it to right down when i have assignments and tests.  i use the ban.do planner, but these are a bit pricey, and really anything will do.  just somewhere to put down tasks so you can keep track of them

getplan.co: this app is, honest to god, the only reason i am still alive and breathing.  it plugs into your google calendar and then allows you to create and schedule tasks around events.  @studycxlture has an amazing post about plan here that i def recommend checking out!

general tips about planning: 

plan out the events of your month at least two days before it starts

set aside a night (i like sunday evenings) to set up a system for the upcoming week and go over what you have planned so you don’t forget anything

you are NOT gonna remember that assignment that teacher told you about.  write it down.  

you do not need a fancy system.  it’s okay to try lots of different things until you find what works 

never spend more time planning out tasks than completing them.  unless you have that much free time, don’t dedicate two hours to making a lovely weekly bullet journal spread.  

color codes!!! are a life saver.  i have one with a color for each class (red for english, orange for spanish, yellow for history, green for science, blue for math, etc) as well as some for my extracurriculars (pink for the musical, teal for model un, etc).  

always have ur planner open when ur working, so that you can make sure u r actually completing all the tasks u said u were gonna complete

02 | STAYING ORGANIZED 

oh my god oh my god oh my god staying on top of your work is SO important when you’re busy.  being able to find your worksheets and keep track of your homework and your million responsibilities is essential to being successful.  to stay organized, i have an expandable file folder with tabs for each class.  because i take most of my notes in notebooks instead of binders, this is a good way to keep all of my handouts, worksheets, and syllabi centralized.  

also, make sure you have a way to keep your online materials organized.  create a folder for each school year, and within that folder, create more folders for each class.  from there, it’s up to you about how you’ll organize files. you can create even MORE folders (yeet) for things like homework, notes, study guides, etc, or folders for each unit you study.  the possibilities are endless!!!! isn’t technology exciting

here r some pieces of advice for staying organized: 

have a series of folders/binder/expandable file folder to hold your worksheets.  or one for each class, though i prefer to keep all my papers in one a) to save money and b) to save space.

label your notebooks/binders so that you know which ones to bring home with you

never just shove something into your backpack.  never.  i’m gonna manifest into ur classroom and FIGHT you if u do that.  it’s not good, it’ll end up getting lost or crushed under the weight of all ur textbooks, and you’ll end up panicking when u can’t find it 

have ur planner on u at all times

keep a good filing system of ur stuff at home.  u don’t need to carry around every single bio assignment you’ve gotten back, but by the time ur final rolls around ur gonna want 2 b able to look at all the materials you’ve gotten during the semester

that being said, throw stuff away when the year is over!  i, for one, know i’m never gonna think about calculus after this class is done, so i will be recycling all of my papers (save the earth) and moving tf on 

keep a recycling bin in your room!  even if it’s just a paper bag, it’ll make throwing paper in the trash way less tempting (save the earth)

u don’t need a ton of pens.  i’m being a giant hypocrite saying this but you really don’t need all that stuff.  if you want it and you can manage it, great, but if it’s just another thing to keep track of, leave ur staedtlers and ur mujis and ur fineliners and ur calligraphy pens at home, and just take the essentials with u to school

03 | MAKING THE MOST OF UR TIME

in order to succeed, it’s v important to make every second count.  this doesn’t mean studying 48 hours straight (pls don’t), but try not to waste time. whether this means you spend fifteen minutes napping, doing some reading for english, or having a quick snack, make sure u are being productive and healthy!  i, for one, sometimes have 1-2 hour breaks between school and rehearsal, and i like to use these to walk to the grocery store by my school and get some food and then study in the deli.  

some ideas for being productive! 

carry a clipboard around everywhere.  this way, u don’t need to spend as much time transitioning in and out of tasks, u can just put ur work onto the clipboard, and put it in ur backpack at the end of a break, and then the next chance u have to work on it, just take it back out.  easy peasy

work during commutes! nOT if ur the one driving the car though that’s VERY dangerous and distracted driving = bad.  but if ur on the bus, or ur mom is driving u to school, that might be a good time to go over some notes you took last night, or some reading you need to catch up on.  nothing too insane, please don’t do ur chem labs on the public bus but.  u know.  

read over the notes you took that day on the ride home.  this will help reinforce the information in ur brain, and it’s not super difficult. i go over my apush notes during the 40 minute drive home and sometimes talk about them w my mom, which gives me a much better grasp of the material

don’t waste time on social media.  either delete instagram altogether, or log off/mute notifications before u start work.  same with tumblr.  don’t start scrolling obsessively if u have three tests to study for. 

power naps!!!! napping for about 10-20 minutes, maybe on the way home or to practice/rehearsal/whatever u gotta do, can help u feel refreshed!  anything longer will make u more tired tho, so be sure to get up when u say ur gonna get up.  

study smarter: when ur going over material, u don’t need to handwrite 60 beautiful flashcards.  use quizlet instead.  don’t revise if it’s not gonna help u.  prioritize which assignments r gonna be most impactful over the little ones u can easily make up

take good breaks!! breaks r VERY important and should be utilized properly.  here r some good suggestions for things to do: 

throw in a load of laundry

empty the dishwasher

stretch/do some jumping jacks

drink some water!

go for a walk

talk to a family member 

get a snack!

read some fun novels n such

scream?

!! in case of emergency !! the following tips should only be employed when ur short on time.  don’t use these just bc u can, this is just when it’s about getting close enough to grasping material, not actually grasping it

do every other math problem assigned, and either star the ones u didn’t do, or get the answers from the back of the book.  this way, u get some practice but u also save time

sparknotes ur reading beforehand.  this way, u can recognize what’s going on.  it’s not v good for developing ur reading comprehension, but assignments will go by quicker

NEVER google translate ur language homework, but u can use word reference for helping u find the right word and proper conjugations

flagpole it: didn’t study enough for a test?  are u guessing on like 10 of the questions?  if it’s multiple choice, but the same answer for all the ones u have no clue about, unless that answer choice seems highly unlikely.  then pick a different one.  this way, ur statistically more likely to get some of the ones you guessed correct. 

when u have an online assignment due at midnight and it’s 11:53 and u haven’t started, find another assignment you’ve already completed that has a similar document name.  for example, “scarlet letter chapters 9-11″ instead of ur actual assignment “scarlet letter chapters 12-14″.  submit the other one, and then when u finish the other assignment (either that night or the next morning) email ur teacher and apologize, say u accidentally submitted the wrong document

if ur parents will let u (if ur in high school) or u can let urself (if ur in uni), it’s okay to skip a day to catch up.  just make sure u actually work, get the notes u missed, and talk to ur teachers/professors abt the material u missed.

04 | STAYING HEALTHY 

ur health comes before any assignment, test, or extracurricular.  i know lots of ppl r probably telling u that and it doesn’t seem like they mean it, but i mean it.  no exam is worth sacrificing ur mental, physical, or emotional health for.  yeet!  so here r some things to keep in mind

eat!  ur fuckin!  breakfast!  whether it’s a smoothie or oatmeal or a cup of orange juice or an apple or an elaborate french toast dish, u need some food in ur stomach so that u have the energy to start ur day

remember to take ur meds if u need to!

drink water!  drink! water!  have a glass when u wake up, and then at least one with every meal, and one before u go to bed.  hydration is v important.  if u can, invest in a water bottle and take it with u to class.  

pack a lunch!  and if ur staying later after school, pack snacks!  tech week for me is always hell because i get to school at 7:30 am and don’t usually leave until 11 that night.  it’s v important to stay nourished and hydrated so that u don’t get dizzy or faint.  

remember!  that u are beautiful, and ur body is beautiful, and it deserves 2 b loved! especially by u.  

get 6 hours of sleep.  aim for 8, but six at the very least.  if ur done with ur work, go to bed early!  don’t just stay up for no reason.  

shower everyday, or every other day at least.  give yourself those 15 minutes as a break from work or school or anything else that’s keeping you busy

write down ur thoughts in a journal?  

talk to a friend if ur feeling sad, or just feeling things very intensely.  share ur joy with other people!  vent ur sadness and anger so u aren’t carrying it around everywhere. 

make some time to have fun.  see a movie w ur friends or ur bf/gf/datefriend or ur family over the weekend.  go to a museum.  hang out at the mall.  sleepover at someone’s house.  taking breaks is healthy.  

make an effort to have dinner with ur family if u can (also if u like ur family.  i know some ppl have bad relationships w them so skip this step if that’s u).  it can be nice to reconnect w everyone, even when ur stressed or they’re annoying u, it can be nice.  

remember that it’s okay to be imperfect!  u don’t need to be good at a lot of things.  i got a b for the first time last semester, i just got a c on an apush test, i failed my driver’s test again yesterday.  but i also aced my math quiz, i celebrated six months of knowing my best friend, i walked my dog, i helped put a production together.  it’s okay to have rough days and bad days and bleh days, as long as you keep pushing through them and working for the days to get better.  

i love u!!! stay hydrated and nourished and get enough sleep.  put on some lotion if u have it available.  brush ur hair.  if u ever wanna ask a question, my ask box is always open!  <3

[smellycinnamonthundahfudge]

tumblr fweinds

a year ago, i was tagged by @suplosers on two questionnaires and it is only now, a year later that i was able to answer em. i’m so sorry it took me this long but yah i’m just glad to get thru dis milestone, answering the first tumblr get to know ya post i was @ at... yaayyy ^^

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

I tag: tbd haha i still have to dig thru meh notifs to see which ones apparently took an interest in me so i’d like to take an interest in as well haha but oh @you-guys--are-losers, ur doing this whahaha hope it’s not too much of a bother, no presh watsoever ;3

the last

1. drink: ughh it's dis shitty stuff called hydrite w/c is basically salt water cus im sick rn and it's supposed to rehydrate ur shts or something hahaha

but dat was like a week ago... as of da moment i posted dis, it’s coffee from mini stop dat i drank at like 530 in da morn while i waited until i could enter the school cus i had to commute 3 hours w/ lil to none sleep

2. phone call: my father or one of my best friends

3. text message: the last one i texted was my sister and the last one i got a text from was dis org in school about the location for recruitment/auditions/interview

4. song you listened to: billy jean by michael jackson and i listened to it for meh tomdaya fic hahaha. But i also listened to halo by beyonce, untouchable and dress by taylor swift, and some other songs magmt mentions in her tomdaya fic hehe a week ago

rn, a metal cover of toxic by our last night

5. time you cried: haha i don't actually remember the context of it (i could find out tho haha cus i sent da pic to my best friend) but i took a pic of it while i did it which was on... july 16 hahaha. Oh but w8 oh sht i think i cried after that fudge w8 i don't remember the date (i think i can find this out too hahaha) but i wrote a sortof goodbye confessions letter to one of my dear friends and i wrote there that i externally cried (b4 i just said internally haha) so i'm not entirely sure i cried but i think im pretty sure i teared up hehe

6. dated someone twice: hahaha i haven't even had a legit love interest yet 😆😂 buuutt my best friend and i have "dated" as in spent entire days together w/ just the two of us, we even went to mcdonalds for valentine's day and got each other gifts hihihi aahhh gosh i miss her :'(

7. kissed someone and regretted it: haha im not even sure if dis happened and i have no plans on asking her about it but i remember when i was a kiddo, when my sis came home for some reason i kissed her on the lips hahaha dont remember if accidental or i just brain farted heck i aint even sure if it happened but das all i can answer cus well like i said, see #6 😆😂😆😂

8. been cheated on: hhmmm probs not, i have no idea if ive been cheated on in an unromantic way hahaha but in da romantic way, like i said, no love interest hahaha

Oh w8 does being someone's crush (i aint sure but it seemed like it) and crushing on dat dude but dat dude crushing on someone else too count as cheating? 😆😂😆😂

9. lost someone special: yes, all of my grandparents are dead. I've also lost pets, and i fear i may lose some of my friends due to the distance among us in this time of our lives

10. been depressed: i always wanna be careful over how to define depression. Like wat constitutes it... but yes, i think i have. Not sure, mind you, but yes, at the beginning of gr 7 i was really alone, i think i was bullied and i think i was depressed and going thru a really dark phase of my life back then. But then again, i have to say, i'm not sure.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: hahaha nope. I'm looking forward to getting drunk tho. Im currently underage so im not allowed to drink dat much yet but yeah i wanna know my limits hehehe i hope im da kinda gurl who can handle her liquor but i have drank and i have to say it made me all loopy and weird and just like woke or high or something hahaha so yeah man im excited to get trashed on my 18th bday hahaha (hopefully i get to do this tho huhuhu)

3 favourite colours

12. Pink

13. Blue

14. Gray

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: yyeeesssss and i'm so glad i have hihi. I have made friends w/ a select group of my blockmates and they're awesome and weird, i hope to strengthen our bond in da future hehe. Ooohhh and i sure hope that you guys are losers is my friend cus she's been rlly great :')

16. fallen out of love: i guess the closest i've come to falling out of love in a romantic way is moving on from da heavy crushin on meh crush. But i dunno, i still think he's a unicorn n pretty special to me so i dunno hahaha.

But bro, i do think i have fallen out of love. With tv shows, with characters. Like i used to be so passionate about a few shows and characters but now all i have towards them is regret heck i cant even remember wat dey are but i know dat der was love lost. I know it.

17. laughed until you cried: hahaha yaasss i think so. It's either when i was with my best dearest friends or during the class of dis really cool and funny as heck joker teacher who makes us laugh in EVERY SINGLE CLASS hahaha ahhh das guy's so cool

18. found out someone was talking about you: oohh yah yah i think so. Either from my best friends or from a few of my old classmates i care about and had gotten close with. Da best friend ones was about something in my past/history (g7) and the classmates one i think was just dem talking about me and they told me about it ooohhh i think it was my crush hahahaha. They told me dat my crush actually admired me a lot hehe. There was one time my friend (the one who told me about dis) was putting make up on me for a school film, and my crush was da cam guy and he told my friend i looked pretty. Sooo im pretty lucky dat- oh sht w8 i dunno if it's dis year but oh w8 no, it was on my bday last year (dec 20) and da same friend said she was sorry cus apparently da bois make fun of me or something and she was sorry cus she laughed along too hahaha but i didnt mind cus i know im weird and i dont even know what dey say about me in da first place hahahaha. Ok das it im done, i think ive overshared now hahaha 😆😂😆😂

19. met someone who changed you: my best friends. Ive thought about it based on wat sup losers said about change for da better and i dont rlly think of change as something dat happens quick, i think it happens over time and u dont even notice it. So ok oh sht i think im wrong cus i met my best friends 4/6 years ago hahaha but for reals tho, i was in a dark place and if it werent for dem i think id still be lost lonely and sad. Uuhhmmm in regards to answering the question correctly, i guess my blockmates count since they inspire/challenge me to be better. OH SHT W8 i def think you guys are losers and dead end street and tomdaya receipts and tout de suite have changed me hehehe. Da first 2 in dat dey inspired me to write more hehe. Da 1st one inspired me to do this so i think this counts as change hehe. And da last 2 changed me in dat bcus i met dem, i became OBSESSED w/ tomdaya hahaha.

20. found out who your friends are: yes, i have actually. And it's all because i am now currently a college freshman as well as my friends.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: hahaha my fam i guess hahaha. But no one in a romantic context.

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: hhmmm i guess id say about 200 since i know 4 sections of around 40 ppl and da rest is like fam and ppl ive met once/twice or have passed by haha

23. do you have any pets: yaaaassss 3 doggos: albie, juju, and biggie girl. Juju has a pupper named tchalla called dat cus he black hehehe and biggie has 2 biglets named mermer (meredith) and crissy (cristina) cus they're sisters 😍😊😊

My fam have also had a buncha dogs n puppers before but they were either given away or passed away. My bro also has dis cat named bob and i think he counts as a semi pet since my bro's home is a fam home.

24. do you want to change your name: uuhhh i wish i had an alliterative name like superheroes. Buutt im pretty happy w/ my name :')

25. what did you do for your last birthday: oohhhh i think i was at my section's christmas party it was pretty nice n emotional and i spent da rest of da day w/ 2 of meh best friends who bought me cake n food when my own fam didn't 😆😂😆😂

26. what time did you wake up: 4 am to shit cus im sick, but fell asleep again and officially got up around 730 or 8ish

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: haha tryna stay awake cus i had to drink meh meds and failed oh so much and i think i was asleep by midnight hahaha

28. name something you can’t wait for: tomdaya content, chatting/being w/ my best friends, watching da stuff i wanna watch, tumblring, reading sht i wanna read, vacation, writing fanfics, learning how to do a buncha stuff (write screenplays, make films n gifs, draw better), my bday when i hopefully get to do wat i want haha, avengers 4 and smffh, and captain marvel and antman and the wasp too i guess haha oh and the incredibles 2 and httyd 3 😍😍😍 oohhh and crazy rich asians

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: on monday which was when i was at home and not at my dad's n sis' n i's apartment in manila for school/work

31. what are you listening to right now: commercials on da tv as i answer this long ass questionnaire hahaha

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: hahaha i had to think about dis one but yah i have actually haha he was my gr 8 class mate n i like to think semi friend back den at least haha. Oh w8 but he doesn't go by tom tho, it's just thomas haha

33. something that is getting on your nerves: myself hahaha my shitty lazy ass procrastinating self hahaha 😅🙍

34. most visited website: fb specifically messenger, youtube, and tumblr

35. hair colour: hmmm black w/ a bit of brown i guess (ASIAN, YO! 😆😂😆😂)

36. long or short hair: neither, medium i guess haha. I like how long hair looks but it's such a bother n hassle haha. So i def would prefer short hair on a practical standpoint hahaha (im actually thinking of shaving the hair above my nape, yknow on da back of my head hehe)

37. do you have a crush on someone: well i dont have dat much of a crush on da crush i mentioned before, like i said haha. I have a crush on tomdaya, does dat count? 😆😂

38. what do you like about yourself: hahahaha nothing 😆😂😆😂🙍

Naahh uhhh i guess i like how much i love tv shows, i love meh fangirl self, and i like how diff n unique n weird i am, how i stand out, n dat i think my dreams are noble n worth tryin out. N i like how supportive n nice i am n im just chill on da outside haha. N sometimes i like meh face hehe. And i think dat im hilarious n weird n ppl should appreciate me more hahaha das y i crave for more validation dan consulting researchers hahaha (no one laughs at dat jokes and it's like im da only one who finds it funny and come on, man, i managed to make a research joke. Cant ya give a girl a break?)

n i guess sometimes it's good how much i care but sometimes i wish my feels could just chill for just like a minute pls

Thanks, man. I usually just focus on meh bad qualities so thanks for dis question, man :')

oh and i like dat i can swim hehe

39. piercings: i have holes on my ears for earrings but i don't really wear dem

40. blood type: a, i think?

41. nickname: sam, sab, and i rlly want to be called smells cus it's like a more me version of mels from melody hahaha

42. relationship status: single, yo. Oh w8 but i am married to my bed and fandoms so dey always come first. Plus i love my friends 😍😊

43. zodiac: sagittarius i think but i dont rlly know/care about zodiac sht. Tho it's nice if it does match up hehe

44. pronouns: uhhh i dont know wat to put here but i assume dis refers to wat i wish to be referred by ssoooo she, her, and a genderless pronoun in my language siya

45. favourite tv show: ughh i cant choose. Friends, grey's anatomy, phineas and ferb, avatar: the last airbender, black mirror, doctor who, and all of michael schur's stuff, and modern family, grimm, person of interest, pushing daisies, scrubs, happy endings, forever, how i met your mother, gravity falls, sherlock, and yknow wat? Yah, supernatural too and the httyd shows and suits :') oooohhh w8 and how to get away w/ murder and i guess big bang theory as well 😃 the end of the fucking world, legends of tomorrow, crazy ex-girlfriend, the good place, timeless but it’s kinda depressing so speaking of w/c game of thrones and west world and a series of unfortunate events and stranger things and scorpion and lost in space and for anime, let’s go with yakitate japan and boku no hero academia

46. tattoos: none, but i rlly want one and even have a list of tattoos i want (pretty minimalist), i just have to think of da perf place tho (both where to put it and where to get it) and find out if i can still donate meh bod if i have tattoos, but one of da ones i rlly want is smileys on meh fingers hehe

47. right or left handed: right, but my ma says im kinda ambidextrous n i kinda wish i could develop it hehe

48. surgery: haha nope, never. But in terms of an interest, i love grey's anatomy 😆😂

50. sport: ooohh my main sport is swimming cus my siblings are all swimmers so i am too. But i have played other sports for school like badminton, table tennis, volleyball, some water game i dont remember haha, and a combat sport in my country called arnis

51. vacation: christmas vacay and i cant wait huhu

52. pair of trainers: uhhh are trainers rubber shoes? I have a couple, i guess.

GENERAL

53. eating: my dad (who cooked our meal), sis, and i ate afritada (chicken dat's tomatoey basically) for dinner

54. drinking: just water, but ugh i have to drink da hydrite sht again 😑😒

55. I’m about to: finish dis questionnaire n fall asleep haha

56. waiting for: sleep n happiness

57. want: to sleep n write n tumblr n watch n read n for all my problems to disappear

58. get married: yeahhh... but i think it's highly unlikely, man. So i aint counting on it but i do want it to happen, it seems nice having someone to spend da rest of your life with :')

59. career: hahaha i'm still just a college student, just a newly minted freshman actually. But i like to consider myself a fulltime fangirl hahaha

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: well, i havent rlly made out with anyone yet so im gonna have to say hugs i guess w/c ofc i love haha but i wish someone bigger than me could cuddle me for once in my life 😢

61. lips or eyes: lips cus they just seem so soft and sensual hehe. Plus i dunno man, eyes are kinda gross with muta (da sht in da corner of ur eyes when you wake up, it's a filipino word) and sht. And ya have to wear glasses/contacts if dey weak so it's just such a hassle. Tho i do recognize their importance n stuff 😊

62. shorter or taller: ugh TALLER. im a pretty tall gal so for once id like to be da lil spoon for once, for someone to be able to carry me and ya know all dat jazz. But i wouldnt give up my height for anything, makes me feel confident and better than everyone else mwuehehehehehehe

63. older or younger: uuuhhh for now i think it's a bit weird to date someone younger dan me, but for me personally, wat age i'd like to be, YOUNGER ALL DA WAY. it was just way less stressful and innocent back den, id give anything to go back 🙍

64. nice arms or nice stomach: haha nice arms if it means i can swing around them and they can carry me whahaha. But i do like em abs, i wanna feel wat abs feel like just once in my life hahaha

65. hookup or relationship: ooohhh i guess i fancy myself having a relationship for now hehe. Havent even had one yet haha.

66. troublemaker or hesitant: i am a hesitant troublemaker whahahahaha. Like i have all these ideas of thangs to do n sometimes i do dem but sometimes da situation n context scares me into not doing it like a wuss hahaha

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: haha nope.

68. drank hard liquor: haha nope but am looking forward to it hehe

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: thankfully i havent needed any yet whew

70. turned someone down: uhhh i guess the closest i came to "turning someone down" was being awkward around my crush haha but to be fair i think he was awkward too hahaha. And in an unromantic sense, i turned down a blockmate who offered to be my partner in an assignment becus i already had a partner hahahaha 😅

71. sex on the first date: haha havent experienced it if das wat ur askin. Maybe imma be dat kinda person after ive had a couple of relationships but for now i'll settle for someone actually being interested in me hahaha

73. had your heart broken: yes, by tv shows, and by da crappiness of life in general 🙇

74. been arrested: hahahaha nope but dat would be CRAZY hahaha

75. cried when someone died: yes, whether in real life or in tv shows, i have cried bcus of death 😢

76. fallen for a friend: look, man, my best friend's probably the most important person in my life who i couldnt bear to lose. I love her more dan anything in da world so i dunno if our friendship is something more dan da "typical" best friends i just know dat i love her n dat i dont wanna lose her n dat our bond's nothing like any other relationship ive ever had

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: hahahaha not rlly 😅 im pretty unreliable tbh and i make tons of mistakes and ill never be enough ever and just in general hate myself and have 0 self esteem hahaha 😅😅😅😓

But there's a chance i could improve tho, a very very VERY small tiny chance... but i guess i'll take wat i can get :/

78. miracles: hhmmm not in da way most ppl think about miracles in dat, it's da impossible event. I like to think it's a miracle that i have the family dat i have, da friends dat i have, and da life dat i have cus honestly i think i'd be dead w/o em. It's a fucking miracle i have things im passionate about and things that i love and im surrounded by ppl who i love and who love me as well. So yeah, i guess i believe in those kinds of miracles :')

79. love at first sight: hahaha not rlly. Look, man, im a fat girl who doesnt rlly care dat much about looks so unless a person manages to fall for someone while dat someone was doing something dat was a huge indicator of their personality and thus it's not only da appearance dat da person "fell in love w/", den i rlly dont believe in love at first sight. It's just infatuation, bruh. Love at first sight is cheap and u dont rlly know any thing about dat person other than the fact that they're pretty (why they caught ur eye in da 1st place imo) and nothin, zilch. Unless, like i said, they were doing something important to dem n indicative of deir personality. But even then, it wouldnt be love. Like i said, it'd be infatuation cus imo love is deep and takes time and cant just HAPPEN just cus u looked at someone and thought he/she was pretty 😒. True love would mean knowing dat person to deir bone but wanting to know more about dem. So to conclude a ted talk from a bitter person w/ a non existent love life 😆😂😂😂, love at first sight doesnt exist, is cheap, and is discriminatory to "ugly" ppl.

80. santa claus: hahaha i know he probs doesnt exist and is u know basically just capitalism n marketing hahaha. But i dunno, man, i kinda wanna believe he exists just cus it's more fun n childlike n innocent 😍

81. kiss on the first date: hahaha yeah i guess so but i think i probs would have had to known dat person for a while before we decided to date. I havent had a first kiss yet sooo i aint just willin to give dat out to someone i just met/knew for like a day or something hahaha (i have no idea how dating works) 😆😂😆😂😆😂

82. angels: huh... i like to think guardian angels exist cus dat means there are like angels of pure light sent down from heaven to protect us from any harm w/c is just nice to think about, yknow? Hehe. But angels in da catholic sense... i dont think i do, bruh. Sorry :/ *shrugs*

OTHER:

84. eye colour: uuhhhh brown, i guess? Like i said, i dont rlly care much for eyes hahaha 😅 ooohh but da purple eyes thang ive seen on da internet sounds cool hahaha

85. favourite movie: aaaahhhhh there's just so many good movies thoo

But agghh fine. Ive come to notice dat my genre's pretty lighthearted w/c is nice actually hehe

Spider-Man: Homecoming, Rogue One, 10 Things I Hate About You, Moana, Coco, Mulan, Avengers: Infinity War, White Chicks cus it's just so goddamn funny and iconic 😆😂😆😂😍, i'm not- ok you know wat, da Pixar movies in general ok? I mean, how can ya not? Oh which reminds me, Tangled, and The Princess and The Frog, oohh The Avengers is also a pretty solid movie, ooohhh Love, Simon, godhs dat was just such a wholesome sweet n nice movie :'), oh and den i freaking love the Scream franchise, man. It's so good :'), oooohhh w8 maybe The Dark Knight cus heath ledger was just da fuking bomb in dat movie, oohh and About Time's da sweetest time travel movie :') w/c reminds me dat the Back to the Future franchise was just such a classic, man :') oh and yknow wat? Unbreakable's actually pretty fucking cool, man. I get shyamalan know haha. Oh and yknow wat? 100 Tula Para Kay Stella is da 1st filipino film i actually liked so it has a special place in meh heart :')

ooohhh and Black Panther, man, gods how can one not bring up Da King™? WAKANDA FOREVER :') 😄

Oh and hey yknow wat? I have a sweet spot for the Sorcerer's Apprentice. It's kinda a guilty pleasure of mine hehe 😅

Whiicchh reminds me... the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON FRANCHISE HAS GOT MY HART WHIPPED 😭😭😭

Oh and i also rlly like when harry met sally hihi :') and i guess the OG Star Wars trilogy's got a special place in my heart even if it is da way dat it is now 😢 :')

oh and i can't forget meh guardians :') Guardians of The Galaxy is such a solid film, bro. I loved it :') ooohhh and yknow wat? I actually rlly like Ready Player One, Baby Driver, and The Mummy (the brendan frasier one, who ya kiddin 😑)

oh and yknow wat? The Wedding Singer, 50 First Dates, and Music & Lyrics has got a special place in my heart, man. Gotta admit it :')

aawww and amelie, and begin again, and flipped and hercules, and room, and spotlight, and shape of water, and ladybird, and the princess bride, and the iron giant, and the lobster, and we're the millers, and what if and man up and shrek and kimi no na wa and a quiet place and inception and the lion king and to all the boys I’ve loved before and oooh tim burton movies are pretty cool, the animated ones, and I did spend a good amount of time obsessed w/ dis one so I guess cap civil war, and then big hero 6 and wreck it ralph, and the martian and inside out, and gone girl, and the lion king and forrest gump and spider-man 1 and 2, and les miserables and the devil wears prada and the book of life and the intern and the princess diaries and miss congeniality and aladdin and confessions of a shopaholic

And ok, ok, i think im done. Hahaha das it das my list of meh all time fav movies and i feel like rewatching all of em now hahaha 😍