#it would’ve been a blt!!!

[housecow]

I find it strange how you'd like to get so fat that you depend on someone but at the same time you're saying that you wanna do gardening. It's like there is a confrontation between your kink and your regular life...

in fantasy (or with a lot of consideration between me and my feeder) i’d become dependent. realistically, i’ve always dreamt of having my own garden and i think i could keep up with it at over 350lbs tbh

why can’t i have both…… scooter accessible garden pls. with raised beds i won’t have to bend over too much 🥺

bonus. bacon and tomato sandwich w home grown red snapper variety tomatoes, one of the only beefsteak-like varieties that grow in TX 🥳 DELICIOUS w mayo and some black pepper.

[lexisecretaccx]

High School Sweethearts pt.5 - Chris Sturniolo

PT1, PT2, PT3, PT4, PT6, PT7, PT8, PT9, PT10, (rest of the parts on my Masterlist)

(Femreader x Chris Sturniolo, sorta fluffy at the start , finally getting smut and happiness for y/n❤️female!receiving, praising, idk what else)

A/n: I wrote this listening to Melanie Martinez😍 I hope u enjoy the cuteness and happiness because it won’t last long what who said that?😨 I’m totally kidding..👀😅 bit of a slightly longer chapter so y/n and Chris can have a part fully just to them

“It’s a date then.” I smile up at him as we walk through the streets of Boston, “I know a place you will love.” Chris smiles and leads me down an alleyway, “you’re not gonna kill me right?” I joke. He looks back and rolls his eyes, before we come out the other side of the alley and we are near a bunch of stores.

“There.” Chris points across the road at a cute little cafe, ‘J’adore Coffee’ he looks to me for my reaction and I smile as I notice the red and wooden interior through the window.

“Come on!” Chris pulls me across the road and we enter the cafe, there’s satin curtains tied either side of the window, red wallpaper and wooden panels on the wall. It’s decorated with cute circular tables with white table clothes lined with red and hearts. There’s a lot of fake plants and cute portraits of Paris and other things. The front counter has an open glass revealing an arrangement of all sorts of sweet treats, and to the side are sandwiches and warm savoury foods.

On the counter is a cute little chalk board displaying what food items they have available for lunch. “I love it here Chris.” I whisper as I take in the dangling orb lights and vines on the ceiling, the cafe not too busy except for 3 tables which have people sat up to them. “I knew you would.” He smiles down at me.

“May I help you.” A woman asks, directing my attention to her, she was a middle aged lady wearing a red button up short sleeve shirt and a white apron. “Yes, what do you want to get?” Chris asks me smiling. “Could I have the BLT sandwich please?” I ask the lady politely and she nods her head, “of course sweetie, what about you?” She asks Chris.

“I’ll get the maple waffles please.” The lady nods at Chris and he pays “okay would you like to sit down? We can bring it to y’all.” “Okay thank you.” Me and Chris both say before sitting down at a table against the wall. He sits opposite me. “Only a BLT? They have waffles and pancakes here too.”

“Yeah I’m just not too hungry, but a BLT sounded nice.” I lie, smiling reassuringly to Chris, I was kinda hungry I just didn’t want him to spend too much money. “okay, thank you by the way.” He looks into my eyes, his full of adoration. “For what?” I grin, feeling genuine happiness which I haven’t felt in quite sometime.

“For being here with me, letting me take you on a date, you know. I’m glad we met, not tryna be corny or any shit.” He laughs softly, “thank me falling asleep in class, because then I never would’ve been in detention,” I chuckle “but I’m glad we met too and thank you, you didn’t have to pay.”

“Are you kidding? I would spend any amount of money to be able to be on a date with you.” We both laugh, not too loudly as to not disturb the others enjoying their meals. “That was corny right?” Chris asks me awkwardly, I nod and softly giggle as he also laughs.

“Here you are.” A man puts a tray infront of us, with Chris’ waffles, my BLT and a pot of a maple syrup. “Thanks.” Chris says to the man before he walks away.

We eat our food and laugh and talk and Chris leaves a tip before we leave.

“Let me walk you home.” He looks down at me, “okay thank you Chris.” I smile up to him and he returns the gesture. “Walk here,” he moves me to the inside of the sidewalk. “Such a gentleman.” I half joke and he rolls his eyes, “don’t make it weird y/n.” We laugh.

About 10 minutes pass and we are not far from my house, we are both silent but it’s not an awkward silence more of a comforting one, the only noise is our feet on the concrete and some distant cars and birds tweeting overhead. “My mom’s not gonna be home for at least 4 hours.” I sigh, breaking the silence.

“So you can come in, if you want?” The corners of my mouth softly lift, “yeah of course, school should be ending in a few minutes.” Chris replies as we turn down my street. “My house isn’t the biggest, but it’s just me and my mom so you know.” I shrug. “I’m not gonna judge your house y/n, I’m not an asshole.” He puts his arm around my shoulder for me to feel comforted.

“Evan judged my house.” I whisper, Chris looks at me and rolls his eyes, “Evan is a dick, don’t let him judge anything about you.” He reassures me, “thank you Chris.”

We approach my house, I point it out to Chris, “that’s not bad at all! it’s so nice.” He smiles as we walk up the path, “my mom always makes sure the garden and house are tidy, she’s always cleaning whenever she’s not working.” I laugh as I unlock the door. Chris looks around in awe at the neatness and cosyness of my house.

“This is so cosy what the fuck.” Chris sounds almost surprised, “are you surprised?” I ask. “Yeah you made it seem like it was gonna be really bad, I wouldn’t judge you either way but this is so nice.” He smiles to me. “Oh thanks.” I smile back.

“My rooms up here.” I lead him upstairs into my small hallway containing of three doors, my bedroom, my mother’s, and the bathroom. I open my bedroom door and god am I happy that I tidied my room the other night.

“Woah it’s so..” he looks around.. “girly..” he smirks at my pink and white satin bedsheets and pink wallpaper. “What can I say? 10 year old me picked the wallpaper and I wanted my room to match so I made it work, plus it’s cute.” I turn to face him. “It’s so.. what’s that word, that pink word with the bows and shit.” I let out a small giggle. “Coquette?”

“Yeah that’s the one.” We laugh, “you can sit on the bed.” I sit down patting the bed next to me for Chris to sit next to me.

“So..” Chris says. “So?” I reply, the air around us gets slightly awkward as we sit on my bed. We just look at each other for a moment before I break the tension. “Do you want to kiss me?” I ask lowly. Chris’ eyes widen and he smiles leaning into me “yeah, I didn’t know if you wanted it..” he place his hand onto the side of my face, “of course I do.” I whisper before we bring our lips together.

Instantly our lips connect like a perfect puzzle piece, like our lips were supposed to be together. Slowly the kiss turns into more of a make out as Chris’ tongue slowly makes its way into my mouth and I let him take control. We both understood the rhythm perfectly and it felt so right to kiss him.

His hand made its way down to my thigh as he rubs circles on it, I ignore the growing heat between my thighs, a feeling I’m unfamiliar with. The air is full of lust which replaces the once awkwardness that was there.

“Have you ever..” Chris breaks the kiss to look at me, “ever what?” I whisper. He looks down between my legs at back up at me, “if you’re asking if I’ve ever had sex.. then no, I’ve had chances but, they never felt right.” I swallow nervously. “Okay, just wondering,” he smiles reassuringly, “what about.. uh have you ever done anything, to yourself?” He asks me, trying to figure out what I’m comfortable with.

I nod, “yeah.” I breath. “Do you want me to.. I could help you with, becoming more comfortable, only if you want!” He holds my hand and maintains eye contact. Something feels different when I’m around Chris, like I can trust him, like I want him to.. my dream about him a few nights ago is practically gonna become true.

“Yes.” Is all I reply with. His eyes light up, “really? I can use my fingers first, to make sure you’re fully comfortable with me.” He places a kiss to my forehead, I nod “yes.. please.” I smirk, and Chris looks at me, “I’m proud of you.” He whispers.

I wrap my arms around his and he hugs me back.

“I’m gonna remove these, is that okay?” He looks up at me for consent. He puts his hand at the waistband of my sweatpants, “yes Chris, I want this.” I smile, “if you want me to stop anything I’m doing, just say stop and I will listen straight away I promise.” He nods as he looks into my eyes, his blue eyes piercing through my own eyes.

“I trust you.” I assure him, he pulls down my sweatpants and discards them on my floor. Leaving me in my cami top and red panties, “lay back for me?” Chris asks and I do as he says. He looks at me and I nod before he removes the underwear I had on, “so perfect” he whispers as he kisses my collarbone.

“Can you spread your legs for me?” He asks “okay.” I say quietly, trying to contain my excitement. It feels so right to do this with Chris. He rubs a finger over my heat, causing me to shudder from the sudden sensation, he looks up to me for any signs of discomfort but I’m fine, “so wet already.” He smirks at me, planting a kiss on my neck.

“I’m gonna put a finger in okay? Tell me to stop if you want or if you want more I’ll do it for you, I wanna make you feel good.” He whispers against my skin before planting another kiss, “okay.” He smiles before I feel his finger slide into my velvety walls. I throw my head back in a mix of pleasure and satisfaction from a new feeling, his long fingers are finally gonna be fully inside of me.

He slowly pushes it in further and keeps checking my face to make sure I’m good. He starts to pump him finger in and out of my heat as I let out soft breathy moans, “doing so good for me.” He praises. “More..” I mumble, “you sure?” He asks and I nod.

He slips another finger inside of me, stretching me out and causing me to breathe heavier. He starts to fasten his pace, and i bite my lip to suppress my noises, “no need to stop yourself from moaning, you make such pretty noises, nobody is home remember?” He reassures me and I smile before even more pleasure hits me and I arch my back.

“Such a good girl.” He whispers in my ear, which only makes me more wet. I feel a knot in my stomach tightening, I start to clench around his fingers as they curl just right into my g-spot causing me to moan and breathily whimper. “You’re close hm?” He continues his pace and i nod rapidly, holding back my orgasm as I don’t want the pleasure to end.

“Fuck Chris right there.” I moan, “sound so perfect moaning my name..” he plants a kiss on the sweet spot below my ear, causing me to edge closer to my climax, “cum for me baby.”

I don’t think twice before I moan loudly as the knot snaps and my arousal leaks around his fingers, slowing their pace to ride me through my high. He removes his fingers finally and licks them clean. I lay there breathing heavily, Chris lies next to me and turns to me.

“I’m so proud of you.” He smiles, I turn to him and grab his face before kissing him, “thank you, and thank you for..” I exhale “that.” I smile.

“Let me grab a towel to clean you up okay?” He sits up, “bathroom is the door at the end of the hall, not the one opposite because that’s my mom’s room, I say breathily. “Got it.” He leaves the room and I lay there with a feeling of euphoria.

“I wet one of the pink flannels with your name on it from on the shelf, is that okay?” He leans down to clean up my sensitive entrance. “I need to put bleach or pen on it or something so I know which one to not use on my face.” I laugh softly, “why don’t you just cut the label off this one?” He replies as he finishes cleaning me up and opens my top drawer to find underwear for me, “that’s more reasonable yeah.. get out of my underwear drawer Chris.”

I sit up and cover my face in embarrassment, “my fingers were just inside of you and you’re embarrassed about panties, socks and bras?” He laughs and shakes his head and I realise the stupidity of what I just said.

“Thank you, again.” I smile to him.

A/n: omg first smut of the series yass. How cute is this part? I wanted to include some happy moments, I’m not gonna make anything happen between y/n and Chris dw but without spoiling much there will be upcoming moments where u need the tissues.. ily all tho❤️😥

Taglist: @blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @sturniologurl4l2008 @jakevwebber @braindead4l @mattybearnard @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosmind

—💋——📷——‼️——💌———❤️———💌——‼️——📷——💋—

[undead-supernova]

HIGH TOLERANCE

Volcano Vaporizer / Masterlist

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

warnings: weed consumption, Steve (derogatory) (not to me, but in this canon sorry), jealous!reader out the whazoo, puke, drinking, horny thoughts, Annie Lennox's (Eurythmics) incredible song "Love Is a Stranger"

pairings: bestfriend!modern!eddie x bisexual!fem!reader

plot: it's everyone's downfall to desire jealousy to go both ways, isn't it?

wc: 5.8k

“What’re you up to?”

“Since you last asked me five minutes ago?”

“Yup.”

“Still trying to fix my toilet.” Eddie heard a bang. “Ow!”

“You good?”

“Just hit my head again. No big deal.”

Eddie laughed, shaking his head. “I could’ve done it for you if you just, you know, asked.”

“You’re on your break and I kinda need to pee, you know.”

Eddie looked down at his BLT, arms smeared with grease. No amount of soap could take everything off, especially in his brown coveralls. (Plus, his black nail polish had almost been obliterated within the first hour of his shift.) (It was devastating.) He was reclined in the front seat of his van, legs stretched out against the passenger seat, the one he tried not to picture you in.

He thought about his uncle Wayne, how he would’ve been more than happy to come fix whatever the fuck you needed if he had moved here like Eddie wanted. Wayne just didn’t like how big it was, how daunting it would be to start that process over of getting a new home and a new job. It was something Eddie assured him wouldn’t be so bad, but Wayne merely shook his head and told him that he preferred the comfort of Hawkins. Though, Eddie wasn’t so sure if Hawkins and comfort really went together.

Wayne accidentally met you once, two years ago. He’d come for his first (and only) visit. You had accidentally fallen asleep the night before after binge watching Ted Lasso. And to be clear, you fell asleep on Eddie’s bed, not his couch. And to be fair, Eddie really thought you’d be gone by the time they got back from the airport. 

But when he went to show Wayne his bedroom and found you scrolling on your phone… Well.

You introduced yourself and made breakfast. Breakfast. You stayed through your horrible embarrassment in Eddie’s shirt (and boxers) and cooked for everyone. It had gone well, but after you left Eddie had to beg Wayne to believe him that you were just friends.

Even then, there was no way Wayne didn’t already know what Eddie was too scared to say aloud.

“I could always send someone.”

“Who?”

Eddie thought about it but ultimately came up short. “Uh, I don’t know. Someone.”

You let out a breathy laugh. “No, thanks. I think I’ve got it.”

“I’ll see you tonight, though.”

“Tonight?” you asked.

Eddie paused. “Uh, I’m performing tonight? At The Hidey-Hole?” He could hear you let out a low “Ohhhhhh” as he spoke. “I’m bringing that volcano thing…?”

“Oh, shit!” you exclaimed. “You’re right. Glad I can come then. Jesus, I’m sorry for forgetting. I really didn’t want to miss that.”

Eddie smiled. “No problem, Weirdo.” And for some reason, he genuinely began sweating as he started his next question. A proper sweat, starting in his armpits and the crown of his head, threatening to send trickles down his neck and torso. Fuck, he needed a shower.

“Is it cool that I invited Robin…and, uh, Steve?”

You paused. “No, yeah. It’s fine. Sure.”

It hadn’t been a long pause. But it was a pause, one of those that lasted a second too long. A short break in the conversation, a hesitance that held more than just a beat of silence. And now he was wondering what the fuck you were thinking.

“Did you go on that date?”

Eddie couldn’t stop the lump growing in his throat as the question came through. Did he really want to tell you of all people about his subpar date with Steve Harrington? 

But you were still his best friend. He really couldn’t keep it from you.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

“And…how was it?”

Taking another bite of his sandwich, he recounted the night more to himself than you, really. Because, yeah, Steve had been nice. Really nice. A gentleman in every way that mattered. But, to put it simply, it was just fucking boring.

“It went okay, I guess? I don’t know. Steve’s a really nice guy and he’s pretty funny. Good at mini-golf, too.”

“Don’t you, like, hate mini-golf?”

You were right. Eddie loathed mini-golf after an unfortunate accident. He was by the edge of the water, trying to hit the neon green ball into the mouth of a hippo. It was on some date with some girl he was trying to impress, and he was a little too forceful with his swing. He failed to even hit the ball, losing his grip on the putter before dropping it to the ground. Eddie took a step forward, accidentally stepping on the ball. Lost his footing. Fell in the water. Hit his head. Had to be taken to the ER for a couple of stitches. Lost the girl after she had to drive him home.

He felt so embarrassed when he tried to go back a few months later and saw they put up a fence around the water and a sign that said No Swimming. 

“Yes, but I never told him that story.”

You snorted. “Well, why not?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you didn’t want to play mini golf, why didn’t you say anything about it?”

“I don’t know, I guess I wanted to make him happy.”

He could hear you pause again. “So, are you guys, like dating?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s a serious thing.” Was he trying to tell himself this or you? “But I guess we are.”

“Cool.”

Cool? What did you mean by cool? That was half of an opinion, half judgment. Or did you really not care? But you were the one who asked, weren’t you? Did it mean anything that he still wanted you to be jealous, to finally come clean about how you felt and denounce Steve’s advances? 

He looked at the time and sighed. “Shit, I gotta head back. Hold on while I down this BLT.”

“Okay.”

He stuffed the last of his sandwich in his mouth and washed it down with the rest of his Dr. Pepper. 

“OW!” you shouted again. “Fucking fuck, fuck, fuck! I hate this stupid thing!”

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh. “Have fun with your broken toilet, Weirdo.”

“Yeah, yeah. Eat shit.”

You felt haunted by some kind of fucked up presence as you drove to that dive bar across the city. Knowing that your fears were confirmed… Well, it certainly wasn’t the best feeling, was it? Like the rejection before the rejection. The pre-game. The warmup. 

And you were always asking the wrong questions, weren’t you? Your mind was a pesky little thing, desperate for those deprecating answers to confirm every nightmare you’d had for the past two weeks. They were dating now. And maybe it wasn’t an official relationship yet, but casual dating led to dating and dating led to a relationship and a relationship led to the death of any and all chance with Eddie Munson.

“Love Is a Stranger” blasted through your speakers, the same song you sang at karaoke. The one where Eddie left the table to come and cheer you on, always being your biggest fan. He swayed, raising the roof ever so often to give an added effect. But… Well. What about Eddie and Steve’s performance? What about the way Eddie danced with him, getting closer than you’d ever seen them before?

Steve’s hands. The stumble. The nearly avoided kiss.

And you didn’t want to give in to the dangerous bitterness rising in you. You really didn’t.

But if you saw even a morsel of affection tonight, a mere kiss on the fucking cheek, you were going to throw up.

“'And I want you. And I want you. And I want you so, it’s an

obsession.'”

You groaned. “Get out of my head, Annie Lennox!”

But she, of course, couldn’t hear you. Instead, she was spending every second of that intoxicating beat teasing you, berating you. Making you wish that you’d stayed home tonight, bitter with a 10mg Delta-9 gummy, melting into the couch while watching Schitt’s Creek. At least there you could anxiously daydream about what was going to happen tonight and spiral down an endless well of what-ifs without having to see it. 

But you kept driving.

            “'It’s savage and it’s cruel and it shines like destruction.

            Comes in like a flood, and it seems like religion.

            It’s noble and it’s brutal, it distorts and deranges.

            And it wrenches you up and you’re left like a zombie.'”

You couldn’t help but let out another groan and skip the song.

“Fucking Annie Lennox,” you murmured.

When you got out of your car, you saw Eddie talking to Gareth, Grant, and Jeff over by his van, Gareth drumming against the pavement. Eddie was nodding along to the beat but turned at the sound of the car door, smile widening. It was like that anxiety dissipated, momentarily overwhelming you with a sense of calm and safety you always felt around him. It was so strange, the way he affected you.

“Look who it is,” you heard Grant say, hitting Jeff’s shoulder before pointing over at you.

“Eddie!” you called out before running over to him, trying to keep hold of your purse.

“Hurry up, Weirdo!” he exclaimed, arms spread wide, quick to catch and lift you into the air once you fell into him. 

It was so strange, the way he moved you.

You let out an exasperated “Ahhhh” as he moved you back and forth, shaking you a few times before putting you back down.

The rest of the band exclaimed your name, hooting and hollering, all rowdy and boyish.

“Lookin’ hot!” Jeff said, throwing you finger guns. You gave him a big smile.

“Yeah, you look so cool,” Eddie said once he had a chance to look you over. He took a step back, as if he were admiring art. Fuck. “The lucky fishnets?” he asked, pinching your thigh. You jumped, slapping his arm.

"Ow! Quit it!" But you still smiled, nodding feverishly. “To answer your question, yes. You know I had to wear ‘em.”

“Hell yeah, dude,” he replied, giving you a hearty high-five that stung. “It’s gonna be a good night.”

And you believed him. You really did.

“Hey, guys!” 

But you lost hope immediately, trying not to turn around at the sound of Steve’s voice. If there was anything that could ruin your night, it was Steve Harrington walking around drunk with loose lips and a penchant for physical affection.

Eddie waved. “What’s up!”

“Just here to rock out,” Robin responded. You turned and watched as she threw up her fingers in the sign of the horns. That made you laugh. She was trying her hardest and you respected that. You also respected how she wasn’t trying to fit in, in a forest green crop top and loose jeans. Her hands were stuffed in a dark jean jacket and had her hair up in a small bun. (In short, Robin was hot.)

“Hey, you look great!” Robin said to you, giving you a hug. “Love the lipstick.”

You were genuinely touched by the compliment. “Thanks, Robin. You look beautiful, as always.”

“Nice fishnets,” Steve noted, pointing to your legs.

You finally faced him, eyes widening when you took in his appearance. Steve was trying harder too, in a Panic! at the Disco Death of a Bachelor album t-shirt and jeans, with a chain in exchange for a belt. If it wasn’t him, that would look stupid. But it was Steve Harrington. He looked cool.

“Um, thank you,” you replied with a small smile.

Steve saluted you before poking Robin. “You should keep Rob company tonight. She invited Vickie, but she got stuck at work.”

Robin rolled her eyes. “And? It’s not a big deal. It’s not like we’re dating or anything. She has a life outside of me.”

Robin looked like she was telling the truth. She genuinely wasn't that upset about it. But Steve couldn't help but take things a little too far.

“Yeah, but you’re like in love with her, dude—"

“Am not! Shut up!”

“Yeah, Harrington,” Eddie agreed. “Let the girl live.”

Steve turned to you again, making your eyes widen. Was Steve wearing a little bit of eyeliner? Did he really put in this much effort to impress Eddie?

“What about you?” he asked. “Are you seeing anyone?”

Without a singular thought about consequences, you said, “Um, well, I’m going on a date tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Robin asked, narrowing her eyes. You knew she was suspicious from the get-go. “That’s very…soon.”

“You didn’t mention it on the phone earlier,” Eddie stated, turning his full attention to you now. You knew he was hurt. You saw it immediately. 

“Oh, yeah, well. We just made the plans like an hour ago and—so, yeah. They’re really cool.”

“That’s great, though,” Steve said, throwing a hand up to high-five you. You glanced over at Eddie’s seemingly blank expression before giving Steve the most pathetic high-five of your life. “You’ve been single the entire time I’ve known you. That’s awesome. Congrats.”

Before you could say anything, Grant was cutting in. “What about you and Eddie, huh?” he asked, smirking over at Steve.

No. No, no, no. Please no. You didn’t want to hear this. Didn’t need to.

But you did.

“Oh, yeah!” Steve laughed, pointing at Eddie. Eddie who was looking away, fiddling with something. Probably his lighter. He was always playing with that thing. 

You turned your attention back to Steve, bracing yourself for the impact.

“Eddie’s been so fun to go on dates with. Seriously, this guy is like a master at mini-golf.” You shot Eddie a look, noticing how he was already glancing over at you nervously. “I can never get the ball through those tiny slots and, seriously dude, you got through that windmill on the first try. It’s unbelievable.”

“That’s awesome,” you said, smiling mischievously. Eddie gave you a look, rolling his eyes. “Eddie’s just a natural at everything. Pinball, D&D, air hockey, and now mini-golf.”

Eddie groaned and you could tell he wanted you to shut up. “I just have a lot of interests. It’s really not that big of a deal.” He let out a small huff before pointing at the band. “Alright, you all go back inside with these two,” he turned to point at Robin and Steve, “because we,” now the finger was on you, “are going to take dabs.”

Everyone laughed at his finger-turned-compass before waving their goodbyes and heading off. The two of you watched everyone file through the door before Eddie turned to you and patted your shoulder.

“Come here, Weirdo. Got something special for ya.”

As he led you over to his van, you noticed his hand brushing your back. You wished he kept snaking his arm around your waist, pulling you in and playing with the lace. Fiddle with it to his heart’s content and give him a reason to keep touching you. Keep getting closer. Even if he was opening the back door of the van and pulling out a device, he could always keep you guys in there. Keep you close, whispering in the dark. Keep his fingers on your dress…

“Alright,” he said, clapping and rubbing his hands together. You shook the image out of your head. “So, I brought this thing called a Volcano Vaporizer. It’s, like, this thing where I put this plastic bag right here and when I melt the wax, it fills the bag with smoke, right?” You nodded, watching him work. “And then I put this orange mouthpiece on and, boom, you just suck the dab out. It’ll give us about three bags which will probably be more than enough.”

“Even for you?”

He smirked. “Even for me.”

“Sick,” you said.

“Here,” he said once it filled up. “First half is yours, humble cleric.”

Snorting, you shook your head. “Always the gentleman.”

You pressed your lips down on the mouthpiece and took it in slow, filling your lungs to the best of your ability. The taste wasn’t even half bad, similar to a regular bong hit, just with a little twist from being wax instead of bud. And the strangest thing happened when you blew out the air: You didn’t cough. Any time you took a dab, you coughed and hacked and lost your mind. Puffcos were your absolute enemy. But this…

“This is the smoothest dab I’ve ever taken,” you said.

He nodded, taking the bag from you and finishing off the first batch. “That’s what I’m saying.”

“How’d you get this?”

“Uh, I won it in a poker game against one of my dealers,” he said as he filled a second bag and took a hit. “I may have cheated, but he doesn’t know that.” You laughed. “It’s usually $700 or some shit like that.”

“An impeccable man,” you teased, taking the half-full bag. “Incredible work, Munson.”

You sucked in the rest of the dab and let the smoke out, noticing Eddie’s eyes directly on you. Reciprocating the eye contact, you grew confused when he didn’t break it at all. In fact, he seemed so much closer than before.

“Why’re you looking at me like that?” you asked.

“Looking at you like what?”

You nudged him. “Like that.”

“What’s their name?”

“Huh?”

“The person you’re going on the date with.”

“Gertrude,” you said without thinking. You swallowed down the urge to bash your head against the side of the van as you realized how utterly stupid you sounded. But you had to commit now. That was the only way out of this. You could only hope Eddie was dumb enough to believe you. “Their name is Gertrude.”

“Gertrude?” Eddie repeated. You nodded. “Sounds cool.”

Sounds cool? Sounds cool? That wasn’t supposed to be his response. Why wasn’t he calling you out for lying? Why wasn’t he exposing you for having a fat crush on him and throwing all of this stupid middle school behavior aside? But even if he did believe you, he was supposed to at least look a little upset by it. In fact, he looked more upset about you not telling him than he did with the fake ass name you made up. It was unbearable. You didn’t want this anymore.

Without hesitation, you reached out to grab his hand. You needed to feel him close, needed to feel the way you always did in his grasp. Safe. Understood. And here you were, seconds from meeting his open palm and saying to hell with all of these stupid games. To hell with keeping everything concealed. There was no Gertrude. There shouldn’t be a Steve. It was just you. It was just him. You were all his.

But there Eddie was, looking away from you and back towards Gareth at the door, waving him over. Eddie gave him a salute in turn.  

“Alright, Weirdo,” he said, patting your knee. He hadn’t even noticed your hand lying limp against your thigh. “I gotta go perform. Finish this for me?” he asked, handing you the rest of his dab. You nodded, giving him the best tight-lipped smile you could without giving away your disappointment. “Alright, don’t forget to lock the van and, oh, by the way, don’t be long. Gotta have my biggest fan in the front row.”

“Like always.”

“Like always.”

It was actually a really good turnout tonight. Corroded Coffin had finally gotten a spot to play on a Saturday which was a very big deal. The Hidey-Hole may have been a dive bar, but in Atlanta terms, that still meant it was packed on the weekends. At first it had been twenty people, twenty-five tops. Then fifty flooded the space with a bouncer and a line at the door and suddenly Eddie realized how important this was for the band.

So why was it that he couldn’t pay attention?

He couldn’t help but think about you, about this fucking person you were going on a date with. Would you find yourself wanting more? With a cool name like Gertrude, maybe you would. Eddie couldn’t help but flip through facial features and imaginings of who this person was and how their voice sounded and how it would feel if he saw you being kissed by someone else.

And, sure, Eddie was going on dates with Steve. But they hadn’t kissed or anything like that. Eddie wasn’t even sure he wanted to kiss Steve. Steve was pretty—extremely pretty. The kind of pretty that made any boy swoon, and all the girls lose their minds. But Steve just wasn’t someone Eddie wanted to kiss. 

Because you were screaming your head off in the front, jumping and dancing around to his music while Steve stood in the back and bopped his head. You knew every word, every note. You played an air guitar along with him, head banging your way through the set and pointing up at him whenever they got to a part that you really liked. He always shared his lyrics with you first, always shocked when you’d memorize them and squeal about your favorite lines.

He couldn’t help but smile at you, as lost in the music as he was. You were wearing one of his (secret) favorite dresses, a black lace babydoll dress with what you called your lucky fishnets. Specifically, the ones with you wore to whatever gig you could make it to. (Every gig you showed up to always drew in a larger crowd. How you did that, he couldn’t say. He did call you a witch once.)

Tonight, your eyes were lined in black with silver eye shadow and a deep burgundy lipstick. A lover of black, but you always wore it with a smile. Maybe the happiest semi-goth he’d ever met. He loved it—no, more than that. He went absolutely feral for it. It made his heart skyrocket, his mouth run a little dryer than usual. And when he was high like this, tingling with the vibrations of his Sweetheart, he prayed to a God he didn’t believe in that he wouldn’t get a boner onstage. 

But he could see your dress riding up to reveal that your lucky fishnets came attached to garters and Sweetheart was adding juuuuust enough friction and suddenly he had to look away from you, too embarrassed that he fucking popped a boner in front of all these people, that he popped a boner in front of you, with only Sweetheart to keep his secret.

He looked back over to Steve, testing himself. Was Steve able to do the same thing? Could he ruin Eddie on this stage tonight and turn him into a mumbling fool in his bedroom later when he got himself off? 

But…there was nothing. Steve was talking to Robin and offhandedly looked at his phone. Eddie could even see him scrolling. He may have been swaying to the beat, but he was barely paying attention. It hurt Eddie’s feeling, just not in a way that would come from a potential lover.

In the end, he realized there really was only one person he wanted to kiss.

And she was currently going on dates with someone else.  

That Volcano truly did what it set out to do. You were seeing color after color, the room swirling around you in vibrant shades of red and black. It was all fuzzy and pixelated, vibrating within you. You were being taken on an overwhelming journey, but in a way that was calming. Eddie was right in front of you, giving it his all and basically staring at you the entire time. Or from what you could tell in between dancing and the room spinning you in circles like a merry-go-round.

And, holy hell, Eddie was so fucking hot when he performed. It burned, literally burned inside of you, slowly spreading between your legs. It was all Eddie’s fault, with his bangs sticking to his forehead and sweat rolling down his cheeks like teardrops. In every guitar solo, he bit his lip so hard that you could’ve sworn you saw him draw blood. His fingers hit note after note, charging up and down the neck of his electric guitar. Those hands which, ever so sweetly, used to fit right in yours. 

The callouses on the tips of his left hand, the ones that scratched at your palms whenever you held it. It was always rougher after band practice or when he came down from his apartment twenty minutes late after needing to perfect one of his wicked solos—like the one he was performing now. 

Those hands that you thought about sliding in between your thighs. Opening you up. Teasing you for wearing a garter belt to hold up your fishnets. Leaving little bites along your neck as he questioned why those were so lucky in the first place and asking you how lucky you thought you’d get tonight.

You had to make yourself stop thinking about it, trying to dance your desire away.

But you looked up at Eddie who was looking down at you. And there was something in his eyes, something blown out and downright dirty. You couldn’t help but stare back, giving him a wicked grin before moving your hips around. And if you made sure he could see your garter belt, well, maybe you didn’t care anymore. 

Because you saw his face go red and a smile meet his lips and suddenly you were thinking that maybe there was something more there. ‘Cause he wasn’t looking at Steve. He was looking at you. And when he finished his final belt of the night, he didn’t throw his guitar pick at Steve. He threw it at you.

“Oh em gee, is that Eddie Munson of Corroded Coffin?”

Eddie turned with a grin, watching you comically twisting your foot and pretending to be bashful.

“Hey, you a fan?”

You nodded, batting your eyes. “I’m, like, your biggest fan. You’re so talented. Can I get your autograph?”

He smiled, nodding generously. “Of course, of course. Anything for my fans.”

Giggling, you dropped your act and hugged him. Even at his sweatiest, you never cared. It wasn’t like you weren’t sweaty from dancing all night. “In all seriousness, you were great. Like always.”

“Ah, thanks,” he replied, placing his chin on your head briefly before pulling back. “I really do appreciate it. You were killing it in the crowd.”

You smirked, placing your hands on your hips. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, you give it your all every fucking time.”

You did a little dance as you teetered from side-to-side. “It’s so much fun! I can’t wait for the day you can play somewhere where we can mosh, ‘cause I’ll be the one to start it.”

“You think you’ll be able to handle it?” he teased.

You narrowed your eyes playfully. “Fuck yes I will. I’ll be bloody and gross by the end of it and it’ll be awesome. I swear, you underestimate—"

“Whoo!”

You both turned, watching Steve jog over. And as he approached, you felt all happiness drain from your limbs.

Because Steve had a wide smile on his face and he was fist bumping the air and he was drawing near, excitement flooding his features with flushed cheeks and sweat beading on his forehead and—

Steve kissed Eddie.

He actually kissed him.

And you couldn’t focus on any of the details. 

No, you weren’t going to keep torturing yourself like that.

So, you just…left.

Eddie pushed Steve back.

“What the hell was that, Harrington?”

Steve laughed. “Can I not kiss you?”

“I mean. I don’t—” Eddie sighed, shaking his head. He looked around the room for you, immediately having the urge to apologize. “I don’t know, man. Sorry.” 

“Listen, I think what you did up there was very, very sexy,” Steve said loudly, placing a finger on Eddie’s chest. 

Raising an eyebrow, Eddie simply nodded. “Uh, yeah, dude. Thanks.”

“Did you wanna get a snack at that diner after you pack up? We could even grab the girls and hang.”

Eddie really wanted to find you instead. He wanted to know if you saw Steve kiss him and if you really thought they were something more. He wanted to ask more about whoever this Gertrude was and if there was a reason you kept this from him until tonight. More than anything else, he wanted to know if you were okay.

But you just…left.

Your head was spinning, and it wasn’t going to be long before you completely broke down. A pool of nausea rested in your stomach, bubbling up your throat by the second. You made your way out of the bar, the humid air doing nothing to help. Tears collected in your eyes, threatening to spill over and smear your eyeliner even more than it already had during the show. Maybe it didn’t fucking matter anymore. 

The door opened behind you; Robin’s voice heard above the music as she called out your name. You turned then, pausing as she ran over. 

“Hey, you okay?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

You nodded, but it felt more like a shrug than anything else. “Yeah, I’m good. Just need to leave.” Trying to conceal the sniffle, you scuffed your Converse against the gravel. “Steve and Eddie are back inside. Maybe y’all can go out or something.”

“Without you?”

When you finally made eye contact with Robin, you knew she understood. She was giving you that look, the one that called bullshit without having to actually verbalize it. She knew that you knew. You knew that she knew. 

“I’m actually feeling nauseous, so I think I should go home.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah—” you started before leaning over and puking onto a tree. 

Well, nothing was going to sober you up more than that.

You felt Robin’s hands making sure your hair didn’t get in your face. 

“Holy shit, are you okay?”

You nodded as you stood up again. “Yeah, it’s probably the dab.”

Robin crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at you. “You know, Eddie said you felt sick the other week, too.” 

You looked at her with narrowed eyes. Saying nothing, you wiped the vomit from your mouth. Just say it, Robin,you thought bitterly. Just fucking get it over with. Call me out. I dare you.

“Maybe you should, I don’t know, do something about it,” she said, shrugging. “Say something.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at her coded sentence. “Yeah, maybe. Thanks, Robin. Have fun with Eddie and Steve. I’ll see you later.”

Rushing off to your car, you tried to keep your sobs from spilling out from your mouth. And if anyone saw you, well, you couldn’t quite seem to care anymore.

Steve and Robin kept the conversation going as they sat in the little 24/7 diner down the street from The Hidey-Hole. Eddie was bored out of his mind. Robin told him that you got sick from the dab and decided to go home. And, sure, that might be the reason you left. But in the middle of a sentence? In the middle of a conversation? Without saying goodbye?

It wasn’t like you at all.

Eddie tried to focus on shoveling eggs and hash browns into his mouth, washing everything down with black coffee and a helping of chocolate milk. The high was coming down with each bite. He didn’t care anymore. It wasn’t fun if you weren’t there to tell him you didn’t want chocolate milk before stealing his. It wasn’t fun if you weren’t ordering two plates of food and swearing you would finish everything before begging him to eat half of it. 

It just wasn’t fun without you.

Steve nudged him. Eddie looked up reluctantly. He wanted to say something snarky and rude about how Steve was barely paying attention and how stupid it was for him to pretend he had when he kissed him. He wanted to scream at Steve that you were more engaged than he was and what excuse did he have when they were supposed to be going out. He wanted to push his way out of the booth and go track you down.

Instead, he asked, “What?”

Steve pointed up at himself. “Did you like the eyeliner? I think it added a nice touch.”

That had been the first time Eddie even noticed. “Oh, yeah. Yeah,” he stumbled, scrambling for a white lie. “It looks good, dude.”

Eddie didn’t last much longer after that. He waited for the waitress to come by, nearly begging her for his check and getting the fuck out of there before Steve and Robin could suggest going with him. He stalked back to his van, the band already packed up and gone for the night.

With a sense of false hope, he looked over at the spot your car had been in, now taken by someone else. 

Maybe he should’ve ran outside to find you before you slipped away.

When he started out of the parking lot, he could’ve turned on something heavy. Something to make his ears bleed and the fuzz to distract from the incessant thunder and lightning in his head. 

Instead, he searched for that song you sang at karaoke. That Eurythmics one that you adored so much, always a sucker for some dark Eighties-esque synth. The strength of the lead singer, all tough and frustrated before saying the most bittersweet shit he’d ever heard. 

And so, he listened to it, weaving through the streets and banging on his steering wheel with every red light. Road rage turning the thunder and lightning into something more intense, something more vicious. He couldn’t help but wish his lips were on yours as he thanked you for wearing your fishnets and desperately clawed at the garters underneath your dress. Worshipping you in the hush of the night. Without Robin. Without Steve. Without fucking Gertrude.

“And I want you. And I want you. And I want you so it’s an

obsession.”

The lines kept repeating themselves, over and over with each chorus. Echoing his feelings, ruining him from ever escaping these fucking thoughts of something else. A future, a moment in time where he had you and everything was allowed to make sense again. 

“Annie Lennox,” he said, sighing and clucking his tongue. “Fucking Annie Lennox.”

When you stepped inside your apartment that night, you couldn’t help but let out a scream, walking over to the kitchen table and kicking a chair over. Tears slid down your cheeks, gushing and spilling over. None of this was how it was supposed to be. None of this made any fucking sense anymore.

Eddie didn’t want you. He never did.

He wanted Steve. And you didn’t have to like it, but god dammit you had to endure it.

It was so strange, the way he could break you.

You fell to the floor, trying to physically hold yourself together. But you could feel the guitar pick still in the pocket of your dress, growing heavier by the second. You pulled it out and tried to look at it through the tears, accidentally smearing eyeliner on the damn thing.  

Annie Lennox’s voice sat in your skull, repeating her demented lyrics over and over.

            “It’s guilt edged, glamorous, and sleek by design.

            You know it’s jealous by nature, false and unkind. 

            It’s hard and restrained and it’s totally cool.

            It touches and it teases as you stumble in the debris.

            And I want you.”

[hitchell-mope]

(The Intervention. Part 2)

Alex (seething): I can’t believe she talked to you like that. I can’t believe she talked to us like that.

Samantha: she’s angry and she’s scared. Frankly. I would’ve let her punch me in the face if it helped her feel better

Alex: being scared isn’t an excuse for how she acted. She’s a grown woman. She knows

Samantha: Alex just stop okay. Kara is a new mother. Her husband is missing. She feels alone. And she needs someone to blame.

Alex: but she isn’t alone tnough. She has us

Kelly: that’s not the same thing honey. Friends and family are very different to a husband or partner.

Alex: no it’s not.

Samantha: yes it is. Believe me. I know.

Cat: so do I.

Samantha: look. It is my fault. It’s my fault. I should’ve held on longer. But I didn’t. And now Mon El is in their joint hell. So yeah. She’s feeling alone. And she needs someone to blame. And I’m the one to blame. I gotta get to work.

Carter: Sovereign or AHI?

Samantha: AHI.

Carter: I’m on lunch duty. Blt?

Samantha: uh. Four. No lettuce, no tomato, no mayo. Extra bacon. And tahini sauce.

Carter: gotcha.

(Samantha leaves the tower)

Alex: why are you looking at me like that?

Carter: like what?

Alex: like you’re judging me.

Carter: no. Not judging. Just um. Wondering.

Alex: wondering what?

Carter: do you and Kara ever talk about Krypton? Besides El Mayarah and Thomas Coville?

Alex: what?

Carter: we all heard what you said back at the loft when she was yelling in Kryptonian. “Could you please start talking in English?”

Alex: what’s so wrong with that? Kelly didn’t know what she was saying either.

Kelly: yeah but I asked J’onn for a translation.

Alex: what’s your point?

Kelly: you didn’t. You just asked her to speak in English. What was easy for you.

Alex: what’s so wrong with that?

Carter: how long has Kara been on earth?

Alex: about 17 years. Why?

Carter: and in all that time has she ever talked to you about krypton? Or anything to do with her biological heritage?

Alex: none come to mind?

Carter: so has she never talked to you or has she talked to you but you just didn’t listen.

Alex: I-

J’onn: I’ve noticed that too. You once advised her to be cold when she was faced with a problem empathy couldn’t overcome. “Be kryptonian” you said. Kryptonians weren’t cold. They weren’t very logical either. They weren’t Vulcans.

Brainy: right. They were proud. They were stubborn. But not wholly logical.

Alex: what the hell are you three talking about?

Kelly: may I?

Carter: go ahead.

Kelly: Alex. We don’t doubt that you love Kara. But the fact of the matter is that you have these hang ups about her heritage. Everyone gets pissed off. Everyone feels alone. Kara isn’t like Clark or Samantha. She remembers krypton. She saw it destroyed. She was trapped in the Phantom Zone for years. And now Mon El is trapped in there again. She’s terrified. And you insisting that she acts in a way that you’re comfortable with doesn’t help her.

Alex: I’ve been an ass haven’t I?

Carter (cheekily): no. Just Kryptonian stubborn.

Alex: haha(.) I should go and apologise.

Kelly: you can do that later. The best thing you, or any of us, can do for her right now. Is keep searching for a way to get Mon El out of the Phantom Zone.

Alex: okay. Okay. Hey Carter.

Carter: yes?

Alex: when you’re on the lunch run could you grab a meatball sub for me?

Carter: sure.

Cat: oh that’s a relief.

Carter: what is it?

Cat: I have a plan. Major Lane. You and I are heading back to the loft, we’re going to get Agent Schott and then we’re going to talk Kara into getting the help she needs.

Alex: can I help?

Cat: after what I just witnessed? No way in hell. See you all later.

(Eve of Part 2)

[amrv-5]

⛔️ and 🤲

Hello!!!!!!!! & thank you so much for the ask!!!!!!!!! answers below the cut because Long. And also a little discussion of NSFW fic ideas. Aough.

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

Yeah Several Unfortunately. Sometimes an idea Seizes you... and then it Unseizes You. I had a bodyswap au for Beejhawk that I never finished, umm. Oh god I also started a fic where BJ finds out about Hawk's canonical pregnancy kink but I couldn't finish it because jesus christ. I mean really. I had a fic focused on Trapper at home post-war, thinking that Hawkeye had been killed in action due to a returned letter.

Also, not sure if this counts, but I had a whole scene I chopped from Nothing is Real (Nothing to Get Hung About), my fic where there's dubiously magic things going on. I loved it, but decided it didn't fit and so cut it out entirely. It lives sad and untouched in a google doc covered in virtual dust.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Gladly I Love To Share

another hit of my sillyinsane modern AU, which doesn't work except when it does?????

“Directly? No. They paged you at the desk six times at least,” Hawkeye said. “I thought you left an hour ago or I would’ve woken you up. I answered the fifth page. I was in the middle of supervising an angiogram for one through four. Peg called me your work wife, by the way.”

“Jesus,” BJ said, a sharp ache taking up residence behind his eyes. “Do me a favor, write me a scrip for some Xanax or something.”

“What’s in it for me?” Hawkeye asked, only half-listening, staring down at his pager in one hand and his phone in the other. “Hey, remind me which of these can bring me a sandwich off the internet, and which tells me my patients are toast?”

“I’ll prescribe you a round of Percs. Or maybe order you a back brace,” BJ said, and slid Hawkeye’s phone out of his grasp. It was unlocked, and open to the Wikipedia page for ‘BLT.’

BJ snorted, and then failed to suppress a laugh. 

“What?” Hawkeye asked him, visibly exhausted. He grinned, and then started to laugh, too. “What, what?”

“Nothing,” BJ said. He gave Hawkeye his phone back. “Let me know if you manage to precipitate a sandwich. Your methods fascinate me.”

[degrassi-fandom-confessions]

fiona better than me, i would’ve been made porcelina the pig into a blt🍽️

[blazedgraysons]

virgin reader giving grayson a bj

a/n: i promise i’m working on requests, my life has just been incredibly busy along with me working on the no nut fic and some other exciting things for y’all!! anyways thank you for the request angel, hope you like it🤍🤍

warnings: first-time bj’s, lack of communication between these two, and grayson having a bit of innocence kink if you squint

this is a continuation of this request. you don’t have to read it to understand what’s going on here (but you should read it anyways bc it’s kinda good lmao)

---

If you were to list your worst moments when it came to love and dating, your first blowjob had to be near the top.

It was high school, junior year with some football player named Chad Daniels. You both were at a party, and honestly, the whole experience was less than extraordinary.  It only took two seconds before Chad immediately tried facefucking you. All you could remember is the pain you felt from gagging and choking and almost instantly pushing him off of you.

Needless to say, it wasn't your favorite activity nor something you were that desperate to try again. Until Grayson.

It wasn't like you were dumb; you knew how much guys love getting their dick sucked. And with Grayson doing everything he can to please you, you wanted to return the favor.

You had planned to wake him up with morning head after that first time he ate you out, something cute, intimate, and if you're honest, probably very ambitious for your first time.  

However, any worries you may have had were proven to be completely unnecessary when you woke up to Grayson licking into you. You jerk roughly awake, legs only staying in place due to Grayson's firm grip. It doesn't take long before your scream of surprise turns into moans, growing louder when you watch your insanely cocky boyfriend wink at you.

"Grayson, what the- what the fuck?" You softly moan out the last part, shuddering at the way he starts sucking on your clit.

He pops up, a cheeky grin on his face and lips red and shining.

"Morning!" He goes back down and continues working you higher and higher to your orgasm. It doesn't take long, melting under Grayson's touch. He watches your face, his expression star-struck, and just so fucking in love as he sees how he just made your body fall apart.

"You couldn't wait until after breakfast?"

"Angel, that was my breakfast." He kisses you softly, leaving you dazed as he walks to the bathroom.

It started to become a drug for him; Whether he was stressed, happy, or even just bored, Grayson was beginning to find a new home in between your legs. And with him dropping to his knees more and more, it only furthered your desire to do the same.

You started to notice. He would eat you out, make you cum, and then leave to go take care of himself. It was an annoying pattern that was being formed, but no matter what, he wouldn't let you do anything about it.

"Step-by-step, remember? This is about you." was always his answer, and while you appreciated his devotion to your pleasure, you were starting to crave him. Crave the weight of him in your mouth, the heady taste, and most of all, the visual of him cumming from your doing.

If you were ever going to take this any further,  you needed to figure out how to show him that you're not just doing this out of an obligation, but because you absolutely desire to make him feel as good as he does to you.

So you follow his advice and take it slow. You start with light brushes, lingering touches on his chest and thighs, flirty glances. Grayson notices; he makes a few quips about how touchy you've become but ultimately believing it's the result of the two of you taking your relationship further. You move on to suggestive comments, openly making jokes about blowjobs and talking about his dick. If he notices, he doesn't say anything, just laughs and shakes his head, playing it up for the vlogs.

You sit on his lap when the car is too crowded, he moves you so you're not directly on him; you suck a lollipop in front of him, he goes into another room to "finish editing." It was almost as if the roles had reversed, him now being the one to run away. You were starting to feel frustrated, thinking he was getting some twisted joy from seeing you so flustered.

So you decide to approach it head-on, bluntly asking him during lunch,

"Why won't you let me suck your dick?"

He chokes on his sandwich, staring at you, shocked.

"Angel, what?" He dramatically coughs out, and you roll your eyes at the theatrics.

"Why won't you let me suck your dick?" You enunciate, speaking slowly while raising an eyebrow. He just stares back at you, not speaking or moving before going back to his food.

"S'fine, Y/N. I can take care of myself. This is about you." He doesn't look at you when he speaks, more preoccupied with his vegan BLT (which he made so you know it can't be that damn good)

You pout, pushing your food around with your fork. It's the same response he's been giving, and at this point, you're worried you might snap if you don't get a real answer.

"Are you seriously trying to tell me that whatever you're doing with your hand is better than my mouth?" He takes a sharp breath, pushing his plate away from him.

"Enough, Y/N. I don't want to talk about it.".  If you were stupider, you would've dropped it, let him continue with his lunch, and let him go at his own pace. But you were becoming worried, wondering why he would shut you out instead of opening up.

"Gray," You move to sit next to him, playing with one of his hands as you continue. "You told me all you want is for me to be honest with you. Can you please do the same?" He sighs, taking a moment before answering,

"I'm just scared that once we start, I won't be able to stop. It's not that I don't want you to, it's just— I don't want to lose control and ruin anything for you." Whatever you were expecting couldn't have prepared you for that, and honestly, you were a little surprised. Selfishly, your fears were centered around your own insecurities: that Grayson didn't think you were good enough to, that he wasn't attracted to you, etc. As usual though, Grayson shocked you with how his universe seems to entirely revolve around you and your happiness.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. That was stupid." Grayson takes back, scared that your silence is one of fear or disgust. You place a hand on his arm, moving closer.

"Amour, don't apologize." You kiss him lovingly, feeling soft over how sweet your boyfriend can be. You pull away, kissing his cheek before continuing.

"Us taking this slow isn't just for me — it's for you too. And you know that whatever you want to do, I'm obviously down for as well" He smiles stupidly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. But believe me, you've been making me feel really good lately." He perks up at that.

"And I really, really, really want to make you feel good too." You take his hand, leading him to the couch. His eyes follow your every move, not wanting to miss a single thing. You kiss him again before pulling away quickly, a thought coming to your head.

"You're gonna have to help me. I haven't done this that much." He nods rapidly, pants growing tighter with every word. He doesn't have exact words to describe it, but there's something so hot about the innocent look on your face, the way you're looking at him wide-doe eyes and waiting for his instruction. Something so pure about the knowledge that you still held onto so many of your first, yet so sinful that he was going to be the man to ruin that. You lightly lick your lips as you put your hair up, and Grayson's mouth goes dry at the movement.

"I'm pretty sure I've dreamt about this before."

"Let's hope I live up to the standards." He groans lowly as you sink to your knees.

"Trust me, you're already pretty close." His heart sinks when you rest both palms above his knees, and he can tell he's working himself up. After going a while without doing anything remotely sexual, the slightest touch sends little shockwaves straight to his dick. If the anticipation meant anything, he would probably cum the second you actually touched where he needed you most.

You unbutton his pants, sliding them down with his help. You stare at how his boxers are already tented, forming a nice bulge. Already you're feeling overwhelmed, not sure where you want to start first while just wanting to show him how much you adore him.

You watch as he slides his boxers down, and your mouth starts watering. Grayson obviously radiates big dick energy, that's no secret to anyone, and you've seen him freeball in grey sweats enough times to at least have an idea of what he's working with. Seeing the real thing, however, has you more turned on than you've been before.

"So big," You whisper, and Grayson's sure he could cum then and there from the awestruck look on your face. You kiss his upper thigh, right next to his medusa tattoo, before tentatively kissing the tip.

"Angel, please." He could cry, finally having you where he wants you, but not doing enough to relieve any of the tension he's feeling. He knows you're not teasing, not even entirely sure of what you're doing to him, and while he's usually not a beggar, he'll do whatever it takes to finally get you on him.

You nod, growing wet at his soft pleas before licking from his base to his tip. You take him into your mouth, sucking the head while watching Grayson's head fall back onto the couch. You lean back a little, spitting before taking him back in your mouth, going further than before. You continue that for a minute, bobbing your head slightly. You moan softly at your boyfriend's blissed-out expression, eyes glazed over as he looks at you sucking him off.

"Your hands, angel —use them. Please," He moans out the last part, having already added your hands the minute he said the word. You stroke up and down the part that can't fit, experimentally twisting them.

You're drooling now, covering both your chin and his dick, and honestly, your jaw is starting to hurt, but the look on Grayson's face is more than enough to keep going.

"Wait, off. Angel, get off." You pull off of him, scared that you've done something wrong. One hand is still lightly jerking him off while the other rests on his upper thigh.

"Gonna —gonna cum. Didn't want to in your mouth." He's breathless, panting to calm himself down from how you've worked him up. You push the hand away that is moving to replace yours and start sucking again.

"You're okay with that?" He questions and you nod as best you can, humming happily. Between the vibrations, how wet your mouth is, and the way your hands are moving, Grayson is done, cumming with a silent moan and eyes closing.

You take every drop, swallowing before pulling away to jerk him slowly. You watch with big eyes as he twitches and slightly jerks in your hand, riding the after waves of his orgasm. Once you feel he's finally done, you move up to sit next to him.

"How was that?" You're genuinely curious, wanting to know if it was as good for him as you thought.  He opens his eyes, pupils blown and breath still a little ragged.

"Perfect." He kisses you deeply, shivering slightly when he tastes himself. "You're fucking perfect." He moves his hand lower, already reaching for your shorts, but you stop him.

You're tired, exhausted really. So you take him to bed, silently suggesting a nap, unaware of Grayson's self-promises to make you feel twice as good when you wake up.

[gubesboo]

That should be me

HEY!! ITS MEEE! I posted quite some time ago that maybe I should post a fic so HERE IT IS FINALLY MY FIRST FIC! I’m in nursing school so it can be difficult to write also I read all of these amazing stories and think I could never so hopefully you enjoy this!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: uhhh cursing, suggestive sexual language, mutual pining, fluff (cause I’m a fluff whor3), maybeeee angst? idk I think that’s it other than pretty bad writing!

Italicized = readers thoughts 

Bolded= spencer’s thoughts

Word count: 3.5k

Y/N POV 

Working at the BAU is not what you were expecting. Long hours, early mornings, sleepless nights. Don’t kid yourself, you loved your job, but at times it can seem that the bad outweighs the good. Only one thing could lighten you up on your darkest days and it was him. Doctor Spencer Reid. Spencer was everything that you hope for in a potential partner. He’s patient, caring, intelligent, also did I mention insanely attractive. Over the years of working there you and Spencer had become best friends, even rivaling Derek Morgan as his, and Penelope Garcia as yours. See being best friends is great, although completely platonic, the late night movie marathons, weekly coffee meets, along with working right beside him on your darkest days, you have come to love the brown mop of curly hair and hazel eyes that is Spencer Reid. Well, the problem that now is… BEING in love with Spencer Reid.

The bullpen having it’s normal hustle and bustle left you with your thoughts. You didn’t even recognize the man of the hour as he called out to you.

 “Y/N…? Y/N... Y/N!!”.

 “Oh.. sorry Spence, what’s up?”, you blushed a little, embarrassed that this man could have the power to zoned you out any minute of the day.

“Are you okay? You seem a little out of it.” Spencer so worriedly responded.

It’s the little things like this that could someone so easily make anyone fall in love. Spencer Reid could read you like a book, which is not something out of the ordinary for him. These microscopic gestures is something he knows that you take close to heart. 

“What? OH! Yeah I’m fine Spencer this paperwork is seriously getting to me now.” 

He let out a little laugh at your response. “Yeah I can see that, that’s why I offered you a fill on your cup of coffee.” 

Yeah you know what else you can fill. You thought in your head for the quickest second but just as quickly you could feel the heat rising in your face. With this you were quick to stand up to take the attention off of you. “You know what yeah Spence that would a-actually be great! I’m just gonna...uh… go see Penny real quick, I forgot I was meeting her to give her back her… s-sweatshirt she left at my place!”.

Oh god are you screwed. Dammit Y/N get it the FUCK together. “Oh ha.. You know, that might be helpful” you reply trying to act aloof. Spencer just smiles hesitantly parting your ways as he walks towards the break room for coffee, and you go to Garcia’s to give her the ‘sweater’. 

Spencer looked at you quizzically causing you to quickly turn to head that way. Just before you walked out of the bullpen you heard Spencer say “Uh.. Y/N.. do you want your bag?”. 

Barging through the door of Penelope’s headquarters, she turns around at you wide eyed like you have just escaped a wild tiger. 

“Y/N are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

Great. “Penny I am LOSING it here.”

She looks at you worried like you actually have tossed your head off of your shoulder. “Oh this is about boy wonder now isn’t it” she so dubiously recognized. 

“Yes Penny I have no idea what I’m doing here, I can’t focus on my work, I’m embarrassing myself left and right, and to make matters worse this whole thing is completely one sided!”. 

Penelope looks at you sadly, she wants more than anything for you and Dr. 187 to get together but the stress of seeing you in this state almost breaks her heart. “Y/N, have you tried talking to him about it, we see the way he acts with you. Always going out of his way to make sure you are safe and happy, he doesn’t do that with just anyone…” 

You had to give it to her, Penelope always puts on the bravest face for you, that’s why you love her so much. “It’s not just me Penny, what about JJ… or Emily even, he does the same for them… look I’m just trying to be realistic. Someone like Spencer would never go for someone like me. He IS a genius, and I can barely make it through one day where my mind doesn’t get sidetracked.”

Penelope had had enough with your self doubt, she knew you were one of the most talented on the team. “Y/N ENOUGH! First of all, JJ and Emily never stay with Spencer and binge watch Doctor Who til’ the break of dawn. We all notice the longing stares on the jet between him and you, the maybe a tad too long hugs before you guys leave… it’s obvious he’s into you. You know Spencer has a thing for germs yet he shook your hand on your first day here. Let that sink in for a second Y/N. Secondly, you are one of the smartest and talented people on this team. Remember last week when you guys were in Dallas, and YOU pieced together the unsub had a partner.. Y/N there would’ve been so many other victims if it weren’t for you, you have no idea how much everyone respects and values your accomplishments on the team, INCLUDING Spencer.”

Tears had welled up in your eyes, you never knew how much you needed these words of endearment. Sometimes it can be hard to believe this when you are always in your head about what you could've done better or simple mistakes that could've been avoided, sending you into a downward spiral. “Thanks Pen”, you smiled subtly. “I think I’m gonna go to lunch, do you want anything?” 

“No Y/N I’m good. Please go talk to Spencer, I have faith that it will really end happily for you” Garcia replied kindly.

 “You know what I will, also one more thing…” She turned back in her chair cautiously at what you might say next.

“Yeah?” 

“Um.. if anyone comes in here asking what I was doing, can you say I returned a sweater to you?”

 “Oh Y/N” Garcia said, releasing a school girl giggle, “You have SO got it bad”. 

You laughed out of her office, timid of what the rest of the day had left to offer.

SPENCER POV

Ok that was odd, I hope Y/N is okay. Was it something I said? Oh God what if Morgan spilled the beans on how I feel about her. She’s my best friend, no what Morgan would never do that...well...would he? Just my luck Morgan was in the break room filling up his mug, walking in he gave me the slightest smirk. 

“Well pretty boy how is it going with Y/N? Ask her out yet?” he said, taking a sip of his coffee giving him the side eye. 

“What!? No.. Morgan you know she doesn’t feel the same about me, she’s never demonstrated anything that could elude to being more than friends. I know it will never happen.” sadly stated, Spencer began filling up the two mugs. 

“Oh and you have?”  Morgan said chuckling at Spencer’s reply, it was obvious that not even the genius had shown any type of actions that would sway Y/N into thinking he wanted to be more than friends. Spencer of course recognizes this but the simple things must account for something right? The subtle cuddles on the couch, constantly getting her refills on coffee, late night hangouts when Y/N was having a crying breakdown. He doesn’t just do that for anybody, she has to know this right? Maybe it wasn’t too obvious. 

“Look Morgan, I’m trying alright? You haven’t told her anything have you, she’s been dodgy around me lately.” Spencer crouched into himself, thinking how he could mess up something that hasn’t even started yet? 

“Come on Spencer, I mess with you a lot, but not when it comes to ya girl man. Look if you think something is bothering her just ask her about it, I think you guys are close enough as friends to where you can ask her about something like that right? And if she does know about your feelings then you have your answer, if not, lay it on her Reid. You always miss 100% of the shots you don’t shoot.”

Listening to these words almost encouraged Spencer but the weight of the fact that he might be rejected by the one girl he has opened up his heart to is too much to handle. It is easier to sit on the sidelines and wait for the opportunity to erupt then seize it himself. 

“Yeah Morgan you’re probably right. I’ll ask Y/N about it at lunch. Thanks Morgan I’ll keep you updated.” 

Morgan chuckled to himself “Well hopefully you don’t have to tell me, you can show me when you get back.” 

With that, Spencer walked out of the breakroom with his and Y/N’s coffee right as she walked back into the bullpen looking slightly disheveled. “Hey Y/N! Lunch?” Spencer smiled at Y/N. 

“Ummm… Yeah! Sandwiches?” Y/N replied, Spencer realized she usually had sandwiches when she was stressed. Carb loading seemed to make everything better. He mentally noted this to ask about later. 

“Sounds perfect.” 

With that Spencer and Y/N walked out of the office timidly, overwhelmed with their inner battle tension fighting at them.

LUNCH- Y/N POV

Walking into their go to sandwich shop down the street had a warm and inviting atmosphere. Almost like a hug from your grandma, it never gets old. The smell of freshly baked bread spread through the room and even calmed the nervousness that had surrounded Y/N and Spencer. The girl at the register you’ve come to know as Jessica, noticed her most loyal customers and greeted them with a warm smile.

“Y/N! Spencer! Welcome back you guys! Are we having our usual today?”

Almost embarrassed by the amount of times that they come in that the waitress knows their order. They nod in agreement. A BLT with mayo for Y/N and a ham and turkey club for Spencer. 

“Don’t you know it Jessica” you replied, giving her a wink and handing her a 20. “Keep the change” you smiled.

“I’ll have it out to you guys soon!” She replied before going to the counter to assemble the lunch.

Spencer has seemed on edge since he asked you to lunch. Oh no had he caught on? Did he hear me and Penelope.. No he couldn’t have. Just breathe. It’s okay. You noticed Spencer about to say something when you were pulled out of your thoughts by an unfamiliar voice.

“Hi...Y/N?” you turned around to reveal a rather handsome man. What some would consider tall, dark and handsome. His black hair sat wavy on his head. He was cute you had to admit, just the perfect balance of toned without it being overbearing. 

“Uh, Hi. I’m sorry I don’t mean to come across rude but...Do I know you?”. There was something about him that was right at the tip of your tongue. He did look familiar but you couldn’t place the face with a name. 

“Oh right. Hi um Chase! From Easton Heights? We went to high school together.”

“OH MY GOD! Yes! Chase! We had Biology together right? Wow look at you! You look amazing, how are you?” Wow he has definitely aged well.

Spencer shifted uncomfortably. Maybe it was in his head but he could definitely see a connection between the two of them. 

“Oh sorry Chase this is my friend Spencer, we work together.” Ugh friends, even saying the word left a sad tone on your tongue. So much hope and wanting in the word, that the one you hope would notice was completely blind to the idea.

Chase extended his hand for a handshake but was matched with Spencer’s typical skepticism, waving back at him instead of returning the endeavor.

“Don’t mind him, it's a germ thing.” you said to Chase seeming almost offended by Spencer’s action but nodded in an almost condolence type of way.

This brought you back to your first day with the team. After exchanging handshakes with Hotch, JJ, Rossi, Emily, Morgan and a bone crushing hug from Penelope (you knew at that second this woman was going to be your rock), last up was the genius himself. To his surprise along with everyone else's he extended his hand to meet yours to introduce himself. Everyone around gave skeptic looks to the other, but to be honest, it was hard to notice everyone else when looking into Spencer’s eyes. From that moment on, you were hook line and sinker to the pipe cleaner with eyes. 

You reminisce about this moment along with Penelope’s words from earlier when you are pulled out of your thoughts by Jessica calling from the counter.

“Y/N, Spencer! Your sandwiches are up!” Jessica shouted from the counter.

Spencer went to grab the sandwiches from the counter while you and Chase continued the small talk. What he walked back in on made his heart sink to the pit of his stomach.

“Look Y/N I don’t mean to be forward but you obviously look great. I-I mean you’ve always looked great, I’m just saying adulting looks a-amazing on you. Anyways is there any way you are free tonight? Maybe we could meet up at this great Italian place in the city? Catch up a little?” Chase offered.

You had to hand it to him, he knew how to play his cards. As much as you wanted to hold out for Spencer, it was a stagnant relationship. No pull or tug anywhere as much as you wanted to, you didn’t want to set yourself up for heartbreak if you didn’t have to. You looked over at him. His face seemed unbothered by Chase’s actions. If he cared about you in more than a friend's way this would have bothered him right? If it did, he didn’t show it so you know what? Fuck it. Maybe it is self sabotage but, maybe this would be good for you.

“Uh, you know what? Yeah that would be nice. Maybe we can meet up around 7:30? Today is paperwork day at the office so I should be off at 5, gives me enough time to go home and change. Unless a case comes in of course.” You said handing him a card with your name and number on it, usually for business, but why waste time writing it down anywhere else right?

“Great I’ll see you then. It was nice meeting you Spencer.” Chase said with a warm smile before making his way out of the shop leaving you and Spencer in a limbo.

Well… THAT just happened. You thought to yourself as you walked out of the shop. Spencer seemed awfully quiet the walk back to the office only nodding and responding to your thoughts when absolutely necessary. Not even so much as the facts that you found completely endearing. You tried to brush it off as the midday lag, the sleep deprivation finally catching up to him, but that didn’t seem like the whole story. But at this point, you were tired of trying to read Spencer. Bigger and better things were waiting for you besides the man walking next to you. Or at least you hope there were.

THAT NIGHT- SPENCER POV

After an afternoon full of methodical paperwork, coffee, and self deprecation. Spencer goes home to his empty apartment, something that seems so full of light when Y/N is there.

If he had to admit it, this is something that Spencer had nightmares about. He knows it’s no one's fault but himself but he was right there. At lunch he was finally going to grow some balls and tell Y/N just how much he liked, probably loved her. But Chase happened. What if you fall in love with him, leaving Spencer in the dust. There is no way there could be time for a best friend AND a boyfriend. Especially not when Spencer wants to fill both rolls. He wants to be the one whose arms you wake up in. Who tries and horribly fails to make dinner for. To possibly get married and have kids with. 

He ponders this while staring at you contact information on his phone, finger hovering over the call button. It is now or never. Spencer thinks. 

“Fuck it.” Spencer says before grabbing his keys and coat, heading out the door.

YOUR APARTMENT- Y/N POV

Walking though your door and shedding your coat, you walk into your barren apartment thinking about the day you had. The rest of the work day had trudged along unbearably slow. You couldn't help but feel guilty accepting the date in front of Spencer. Sure, you guys were friends but on the way back and the rest of the day in the bullpen, Spencer had been avoiding you. When you looked over your eyes would meet, Spencer would clench his jaw and look immediately back down. He stopped the coffee refills, which was fine, but at some point he walked in on you pouring coffee just to do a straight 180 to walk out the door.

Ultimately feeling blue you decide to pick up your phone and text Chase to cancel the date. Not that you want to, but your head just wasn’t in the right place to go out. Even through the guilt of saying yes to Chase to get over Spencer, you thought this would be good for you, but it has only resulted in disappointment. Spencer should be happy for you! But it is obvious that this has affected him negatively. But why? Unless… no it can’t be. 

A knock at the door pulled you out of your thoughts. Checking your phone it read 6:17 p.m. 

“Huh?” you thought out loud. 

Looking through the peephole you notice Spencer at the doorstep. Albeit sweaty like he ran a marathon, curls sticking out each and every way, you answer the door.

“Spencer? What are you doing here? Are you okay?” 

Bending down to put his hands on his knees he holds up a finger to catch his breath. Finally waiting for a beat he straightens up. 

“Don’t go.” He puts simply.

“What? Spencer.. What are you talking about? The date?” you say heart hammering against your ribs. This is actually happening right?

“Yes the date Y/N. Don’t play dumb. I can’t sit here and know you're going out with him Y/N. I… I love you. And I know it has taken me way too long to admit it but I thought about the future you could have with him, and to be honest that should be me there in that image, not him. I’m sorry if this is bad timing or if I’m too late, but I don’t care. I had to come here and tell you before I lost my nerve. I love you Y/N.”

You sat there mouth gaping open, staring him in the eyes. It felt like you just jumped into a freezing lake. Body frozen and heart hammering in your ears. Apparently this is the wrong move because Spencer noticed this reaction and turned to walk out the front door. 

“SPENCER WAIT!” you called out to him. It was now or never too.

“I cancelled the date.” 

“What?”

“Spencer, I cancelled the date. After I saw how you were acting, I.. don’t know… I felt guilty? Maybe it's because I’m trying to get you out of my mind. And I felt guilty for using Chase because Spencer, I am hopelessly in love with you. I mean unfathomably so. I just didn’t know you felt the same that’s why I never said anything. And I’d be lying if I hadn’t thought of the future with you in it Spence. I love you Spencer.” you say walking over to him grabbing his hands, intertwining fingers. 

You never even noticed the tears in your eyes while you stared into his. The world seemed to melt around you as he leaned in locking his lips with yours. Salty tears mixed with the taste of him and everything felt right. It felt safe and normal. 

You pulled away both of you smiling ear to ear as you wiped away the tears on his cheek. Leaning back in to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

“So what you’re saying is you have no plans for the evening?” Spencer so cheekily replied. 

“Only with you.” You grin back with a soft chuckle pulling him to your couch for a long overdue Doctor Who marathon filled with cuddles and soft kisses. 

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

I miss writing for prominence (I'll hop on it promise) but here are a few NCThree headcanons that no one asked for

They made a bet that if Photograph reached 20 million views in a day they'd each buy one of those playboy bunny fits and they knew it wasn't going to happen because they're all unpopular members minus Mark

Then it reached 20 million views.

They're sitting in their closets now

YN's got the bunny, Mark's a cat, and Yangyang's a bear

No one knows about this, it's their little secret

There was once a hidden camera prank done on them where staff left a plastic lizard in a bucket and asked YN to get it and she immediately called Mark over and threw the lizard towards him and he shrieked so loud that there was camera feedback and Yangyang came running and just saw YN and Mark doubling over

NCThree are the ultimate hypegroup. Every time either of them posts the other two will spam comment

Yangyang and Mark have a little competition going to see who can comment "First" before the other on any of YN's posts

Yangyang's winning

Their groupchat was once titled "the superior unit" but Jisung saw it and got sad so they changed it to the three musketeers for a bit

Every now and then they change it to something else it just depends

They've been trying to get Kun to help them with their SM diss track but he always says no so they went to TY instead but he always hits them with the "maybe later"

Definitely watch anime together

They watched Clannad and cried

They have a list of halloween costumes they want to try

The list currently consists of: Harry/Ron/Hermione, Itadori/Fushiguro/Kugisaki, Peter/Ned/MJ, The Powerpuff Girls, Huey/Dewey/Louie, Cerberus, Mako/Korra/Bolin, BLT, etc.

Mark was the one who convinced YN to go on the date with Seonghwa and as a result claims that without him YNSH would've never happened

He competes with Wooyoung on that statement

Mark is always the damage control when YN sneaks out or sneaks Seonghwa in

A very bad idea actually

Yangyang tried to cover once and it was worse so she chooses the lesser of the two evils

There was one time during promotions when Mark sat on YN's glasses on accident and broke the lenses and the frame and YN happened to be out of contacts so she had to walk around and do the last leg of promotions basically blind

While filming for Inkigayo she mistook Sungchan for Seonghwa

Very awkward

Nearly stepped off the stage if Mark didn't yank her back

Ever since then Mark would do so much favors for her

That's it for now but I have so much more I should spill some things with Keeho AHAHAHA

[thorne93]

The Stars Made Us (Part 2)

Prompt: In this world, you’re one of the “lucky” ones who got a soulmate, but what if the universe gives you more than you bargained for?

(Prompt challenge – You live in a world where your soulmate can write on their skin and you will get the writing on your own and vice versa. Where they can wash away the ink on their own skin, however, the writing is forever scarred onto your skin until you meet face to face)

Word Count: 1436

Warnings: angst and language throughout

Notes: This was supposed to be for @sorryimacrapwriter​​ and their challenge like a year ago, I think? I still loved the prompt though and have been working on this story for quite some time. This aesthetic was made by @dontshootmespence​​, thank you so much! Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​​, couldn’t have done it without you, as well as @carryonmyswansong​​ and @arrow-guy​​ and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​

Also, I’ve never really liked the whole soulmate AU thing idea, but this felt so right and it was amazing to write. I hope y’all love it too!!

~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up in the early afternoon, your parents greeted you with a bit of a chuckle.

“Stay up too late with Jenny?” your mom asked with a teasing smirk. It was a habit of yours and Jenny to probably stay up way past your bedtime, but so long as it wasn’t a school night, your parents never cared.

“Actually… I.. uh, have some news,” you announced as you grabbed some bacon for a BLT that they’d made for lunch.

“Oh?” your dad asked, his eyes still on his laptop. “What’s that?”

“So… Jenny was kind of joking around last night and said that I should try to write on my arm, you know… to see if I had a soulmate…” you began explaining, twisting your fingers around nervously as you sat at the table.

Your parents just looked at you curiously.

“Well, so I did. I wrote something on my arm, and I waited to see if someone would write back… and they did,” you said, showing them your arm. They saw the ‘Happy Birthday’, and the ‘Hi there’, with a smiling face.

“A soulmate?” your dad echoed, looking at your arm inquisitively.

“We’ve never had soulmates in the family, have we, dear?” your mom wondered as she looked over her cup at her husband.

“Not that I know of. Well what do you know about that?” he mused. “I don't see any more marks on your arms, did your mate not write back much last night?”

“No, we actually emailed. We thought it would be best if we reserve our skin.. You know, we don’t want a bunch of… tattoos of each other unless they’re meaningful.”

“Sounds sensible,” your mom noted with a smile. “So what do you know about them?”

“He’s a grad student. He’s 21. He graduated from Harvard at 16, and get this, he’s into psych. He studies it.”

“Graduated at 16?” your dad asked. “Are you sure this guy isn’t pulling your leg? What if he’s some bum?”

“If he is some bum, he’s got a great education. We stayed up all night emailing, and he’s quite well-read.”

“That sounds fantastic, honey. And, did you get his name?” she asked, a bit nervous.

You shook your head. “No, we agreed it wasn’t safe.”

“Good girl,” your mom commended.

“He’s 21, hmm?” your dad hummed. “Isn’t that a little old?”

“Oh, Anthony, don’t pretend like that’s some big gap. You and I have five years between us,” your mom reminded as she got up to pick up the kitchen.

“Yeah well we didn’t meet in high school either. We were adults.”

“I’d hardly call us adults. We were 23 and 28.”

Your dad just shook his head. “You just be careful, kiddo. Soulmate or not, there are weirdos out there.”

“Of course, Dad,” you said.

Well, that was out of the way. Your parents didn’t seem to be too upset, which was good.

You went upstairs to your room and sent an email to X.

“My parents know about us now,” you wrote.

“Do they approve?”

“They’re worried you’re a liar and a weirdo, lol,” you confessed with a smiley face.

“They might be right ; )”

“I reminded them that we won’t ever swap information until one of our names shows up.”

“Of course. As tempted as I am to meet you like a normal person, I don’t want to tamper with fate.”

“I feel the same. And your parents? Have you told them?”

“My parents have died. Happened a few years ago.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s awful.”

“It’s sad, yes, but don’t let that bring down your mood, please. I miss them terribly. I bet they would’ve loved to meet you.”

“I would’ve loved to meet them.”

“Speaking of, we need to get registered.”

Registered? For what? A marriage license?

Then it hit you.

“Oh, you mean the soulmate registry?”

“That’s the one. Do you have access to it?”

“Yeah, I can just drive to it. It’s at the clerk’s office, right?”

“Yes, it is. Oh, I need to go, Y/F/I. I’ll talk to you later. Feel free to send me emails throughout the day.”

“Will do, X. I’ll go to the registry on Monday, after school.”

“Looking forward to it.”

---------------------------------

The following afternoon, you went to the county clerk to file for a soulmate. You arrived at the building, stood in line, and finally, it was your turn. You were greeted by an older woman with a permanent scowl on her face.

“Can I help you?” she asked evenly.

“I, uh, I need to get registered for a soulmate?” you said tentatively. You had no idea how this part of the process went.

She eyed you up and down. “Very well, come with me.” She turned around and started to walk away from the counter and you looked around to see if you were supposed to follow. Since no one seemed to be stopping you as you inched towards the small opening in the counter, you went ahead and followed her.

“Do you have a driver’s license?” she asked once she reached a little podium against a wall.

You didn’t answer, instead you quickly searched your purse and wallet to retrieve the ID. She took it from you but before she did anything she asked you to show you the markings.

“I got these, on my arm,” you informed as you pushed your arm forward, your arms exposed.

“I’m just checking to make sure they aren’t tattoos,” she mused as she eyed them and scanned them with a small device that emitted purple light, you assumed it was a UV light or some form of it. “Alright, that all looks good.” With that, she turned to a computer and pulled up a file, scanning your driver’s license that filled out a bunch of forms and blanks - your name, age, social security, birthday, address. “Now, I need to document your markings. Put your arm right here,” she instructed, pointing to what looked like a small x-ray machine. It had a flat platform, a light, crosshairs, and an overhead lens. “Hold still,” she ordered.

You did your best to keep still as she pressed a button and the image was snapped.

“Did you write anything to them?” she asked, her voice stern.

“Yes, I wrote a few things,” you said, explaining everything you wrote and where.

“When did the markings appear? I need the date and time,” she informed.

“Alright, you’re officially in the system. Do you know their name?”

“No, we’ve only emailed and I refer to him as X?” you said, unsure.

“Good. I’m not sure if you know this or not, but we tell everyone who gets a mate: it’s never good to meet them before your time.”

“I’ve heard,” you noted quietly.

“It usually ends in an untimely death, and you don’t get another mate. No one has ever had more than one mate, even if their first one dies.”

You nodded. It made sense. The universe designed one person to fit your soul exactly, they couldn’t do that with two people, it would be crazy.

“No, yeah we agreed not to give any personal information away,” you confirmed.

“Good. Now, whenever your mate comes in to get registered, neither of you will be notified.”

You frowned for a moment. “So what’s the point in doing this?” you wondered.

“In case anything happens before you two meet, you can be notified. If you need a donor, your mate is notified. It’s mainly for record keeping, but just in case, they’re basically added to every In Case of Emergency list you have.”

“Really? Okay,” you said, a little more interested.

“Well you’re all set. Here’s some information for you,” she informed as she handed you a pamphlet. It said: So now you’ve got a soulmate, what this means for you.

Inside were several Do’s and Don'ts.

Do tell people you have a mate, so they don’t think you’re covered in tattoos of random words.

Don’t get the name of your soulmate before it appears on your skin. Their name and current location will appear when you are needed most by them.

Do be sure to include that you have a mate on any legal forms.

Don’t request a new mate.

… on and on it went. It made you smile and laugh at how… old it seemed to be.

Before you knew it, you were back in front of your computer screen, sending an update to X. He said he was busy today and would have to go to the clerk tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever Tag:

@essie1876​​

@magpiegirl80​​

@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​​

@iamwarrenspeace

@marvel-imagines-yes-please​​

@superwholocked527

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TSMU

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[petersasteria]

Oof - Harry Holland (2)

Pairing: Harry Holland x Model!Reader

Requested? Yes! @justasmisunderstoodasloki requested for a second part. You ask, I deliver <3

Part 1 ||  Harry Holland Masterlist || Ultimate Masterlist

* * * *

Harry didn't know how it happened and how he did it, but he was able to ask you out on a date and he was so happy when you said yes. He owed Harrison his whole life at this point. He figured Harrison really did put in a good word for him at the photo shoot. He figured Harrison said a lot too.

He texted you that day he bumped into a pole and he was so happy when you responded. You were cooler than he imagined!

You mentioned that dinner dates were kind of overrated to you, because every guy who's asked you out would take you out to dinner and you just got sick of it.

Y/N x Like, why wait for dinner to hang out with me when we have the whole day?? It's just so overrated. That's just my opinion tho :)

Ever since Harry read that message, he kept that in mind. So when he had the courage to ask you out, he told you he'd take you out for breakfast.

Both of you are in a park and he laid a blanket for both of you to sit on. He put the basket in between the two of you and you smile sweetly at him.

"This is my first ever picnic in my whole life." you say with a smile. "Thank you."

Harry looks at you and smiles back, "You're welcome."

You peek inside the basket and see some cookies, sandwiches, hot chocolate and some fruits. It looked really delicious. He begins to take out everything from the basket and lays it in front of you.

"This is a BLT prepared by yours truly." Harry says proudly which made you chuckle. "My twin brother, Sam, and my mum helped me with the cookies." He hands you a sandwich and you thank him. You immediately take a bite of the sandwich and sigh in contentment, "This is really good, Harry!"

A blush creeps its way to his cheeks and he had to look away to hide his face, "Thank you! Glad you like it." He eats too and you sit in comfortable silence.

"So," you break the silence, "Harrison told me that we went to school together? I didn't know that if I'm being honest."

"Oh, that's alright. I never really put myself out there, y'know? But, uh, I knew who you were, because you're really popular and all."

"Popular?"

"Well, yeah." Harry shrugs. "Boys were lining up to date you and your modeling career started when the school asked you to be the model of the school for when they advertise. Everyone started to notice you and everyone started to like you. I didn't make a move, because I knew I wouldn't stand a chance. After all, I was just another face in the crowd. I wasn't special."

You frown, "If it makes you feel better, you're lucky to be here with me. You're here with me, aren't you? Those boys aren't. If anything, you're winning."

He looks at you and grins, "I am?" You just nod as you take a cookie from the container. He smiles to himself and takes a cookie too.

"I'm really proud of you and your modeling career, by the way. Just thought that I'd mention it." Harry says with a shrug.

"Aww, thank you!" you say sincerely. "You're the proof of being here since day one." you giggle.

"I guess you could say that." he laughs. He looks at his hands and says softly, almost a whisper, "You know, it's always been my dream to take your pictures. I've always dreamed of what it'd be like to have a little photo shoot with you."

"If that's still your dream, why don't I help you turn it into a reality?" you ask him. He looks at you with wide eyes, "W-What?"

"You heard me." you chuckle. "Give me a time, place, and date. I'll be there."

"Are you joking?"

"Does it look like I'm joking?"

"I-I just thought you wouldn't agree."

"Why not? You're a great guy, Harry. I wouldn't volunteer if I didn't have some kind of interest in you." you say coolly as you lay down.

"You're interested in me?" he looks at you and he swore that his heart beat faster. The sun was perfectly shining down on your figure as you lay there with your eyes closed. He studied every inch of your face and he knew that he's in love.

You hum in response. Harry lays down too and he looks at you only to see you already looking at him.

"I kinda wish that I knew you at school. You're different from all of the guys who asked me out." you open up to him. "I feel like we could've had something before and I feel like we would still be together until now. Wouldn't that be cool if that did happen?!"

You exclaim excitedly, "I would model around and you'd be the photographer! We'd be working together and eventually we'd move in together. That would've been fun, but maybe it did happen in an alternate universe."

"Hey, it's never too late. We could still do that." Harry smiles.

"We could?"

"We could." Harry whispers. "I'll make sure of that. I really like you and I don't plan on letting you walk away."

"Good, because I don't plan on walking away too."

You both smile at each other and you knew that this was the start of something great.

* * * *

how would y'all feel if I turn this into a fic? bc now I want to

Tagging my mutuals: @fanficparker @myblueleatherbag @sweetdespairbarnes @tommysparker @lcvelyparkers @marvelousell @lovingsiriusoswald

[captainlilyuniverseworld]

Happy Birthday Sam

Title: Happy Birthday Sam

Square Filled: CEO AU

Ship: Sam Wesson/Dean Smith

Tags: CEO AU, Smith/Wesson AU, CEO!Sam, HR!Dean, Sick!Dean, Based on It’s A Terrible Life with a few changes. 

Summary: It’s CEO of Sandover Publishing, Sam Wesson’s birthday. Dean’s home sick and Sam got a few fires to put out at work, but they still manage to spend some time together. 

Word Count: 2115

Created for: @spnaubingo

AN: I went over this thing about five times so any mistakes are mine. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Sam

“Happy birthday Mr. Wesson.” 

Sam jumped startled as Becky appeared in front of him with a card. “I took the liberty of having everyone in the office sign a birthday card for you.” 

“Thanks, Becky…” Sam awkwardly took the card from her. 

“Hard to believe you’re turning thirty-six today, you hardly look a day over twenty-eight,” she added. 

He raised an eyebrow at her. “...How do you know I’m turning thirty-six?” 

She blushed and tapped her headset. “Sandover Publishing House. How may I direct your call?” She gave Sam an apologetic smile before she hurried off back to the receptionist’s desk. 

He shook his head and walked down the hall to his office. He flipped on the lights as he stepped inside and went over to his desk with the intention of turning on his computer and paused when he saw the flowers on his desk. It was a mixed bouquet and lavender and orange roses tied together with a bow in a clear vase. 

Sam picked up the small card attached to the vase and read the small note. Happy Birthday was written on the card in neat calligraphy. He tucked the card back in amongst the flowers and looked up at the knock on his door. 

“Morning Rowena,” he smiled at the older woman. “No Dean this morning?” 

“Poor dear’s at home sick as a dog,” she answered. “He wanted to make sure you took a look at the candidates for the assistant head of IT position. Though we both agree Miss Bradbury is the best choice for the job.” 

“Well at least he took his sick days this time instead of trying to work through it like before,” Sam told her. 

He flipped through the files Rowena had given him and then handed them back. There was a green tab sticky on the second file, usually Dean’s indication who would be the best fit. Red was ‘No way in hell’ and yellow meant ‘with a little work they’d be good’. 

“If Dean says she’d be a good fit, then give her a call and schedule a drug test and background check,” Sam told her. “I trust his judgment. He hired me after all.” 

“Wonderful, we’ve already got her scheduled for next Monday,” Rowena told him. “Oh, and before I forget. I left you a little something in your second drawer. Happy birthday Sam.” 

He started to protest but she was already gone. He sighed and opened the second drawer of his desk and saw a gold gift bag. He peeked inside and saw an assortment of various candles. He made a mental note to send her a thank you card. 

Sam reached for his phone as it started ringing and leaned back in his chair 

“Wesson speaking,” he answered. 

“I can’t do it.” 

Sam rolled his eyes. “Can’t do what Chuck?”

"I can't do it. Speak in front of all those people, what am I supposed to say?" The man asked. "What if I say the wrong thing? What if they don’t like the new book?” 

"You'll be fine Chuck," Sam told him. "It's a simple interview. Answer a couple of questions, announce the publication date for the new book. Take some pictures with a few fans, you'll be home by 9 pm to chat with Mistress Magda." 

"Okay," the man took a deep breath. "Okay. Thanks, Sam...and Happy Birthday. I uh, I forgot to get you a gift." 

"Don't worry about it," Sam answered. 

He hung up and turned his attention to be his email to get started on work. He was tempted to shoot Dean and email and see how the other man was doing. Even if he was home sick, Dean was a workaholic at heart. 

He grabbed his phone as it started ringing again. 

“You’ll be fine Chuck, ” Sam said by way of greeting. 

“...It’s Cas..” Castiel replied. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Sam apologized. “Chuck called about his interview, but that’s not important. What’s up?” 

“There was an issue with the printers,” Castiel answered. “The book covers, they’re uh…” he trailed off awkwardly. 

“I’m on my way,” Sam told him. 

He hung up and made his way down to the receiving bay. Castiel was at one of the tables with one of the large boxes of books open, a few stacked next to him, and packing peanuts on the floor. 

“What’s the problem Cas?” Sam asked 

Castiel wordlessly handed Sam one of the books and Sam snorted as he looked at the cover 

“...At least it’s tasteful?” Sam added. 

“We can not put these on the shelves, no matter how...tasteful,” Castiel replied. “Adler would have a fit. He’s still upset about that petition that went around a few months ago when we announced the reprinting of books 1-5.” 

“Adler can suck on a lemon,” Sam said bluntly. “How many were printed?” 

“Just a couple hundred for Chuck’s book signing on Saturday,” Castiel answered. “I tried to call the printers, but there was no answer.” 

“Of course there wasn’t,” Sam sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “Just...put these in my office for now. I’ll go over to the printers and see if I can’t give Lucifer a kick in the ass.” 

Castiel nodded and started to put the books back in the box. “Oh, and happy birthday Sam. Did the flowers survive the night okay?” 

“The roses? They weren’t delivered this morning?” Sam asked. 

“Last night,” Castiel answered. “I saw them outside your door, so I put them in your office before I went home last night. Someone must like you.” 

“What do you mean?” Sam asked. 

“Well, lavender roses usually mean that someone has a crush on you. And Orange means that they’re proud of you. So whoever got them for you must like you and the man that you are. Or they just liked the color combination,” Castiel answered. 

“Thanks...I think,” Sam nodded and went back to his office to grab his keys.

He drove to the printers and followed the sound of loud rock music to the offices on the second floor. He turned off the stereo and dropped one of the books on Lucifer’s desk. 

“Real mature Lucifer. What’d you do? Find some fan art online and switch out the real picture we sent over?” Sam crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Like it’s that different from the actual cover photo,” Lucifer smirked. 

“You know this is illegal right? What if these had made their way to the bookstore instead? Sandover could’ve been sued by the original artist,” Sam told him. 

“Cas would’ve caught it, don’t get your panties in a twist,” Lucifer rolled his eyes. “I’ve already got Crowley printing out the books with the right covers. You’ll have them tomorrow afternoon you fuddy-duddy.” 

“You are a monumental pain in my ass you know that?” Sam said. 

“Who? Me?” Lucifer smiled innocently. “By the way, this is for you.”

He set a wrapped bottle on the table and Sam picked it up cautiously. “What is it?” 

“Just open it would you,” Lucifer told him. 

Sam tore off the paper and raised an eyebrow at the bottle of tequila. “If you find your new age hard to swallow just add some tequila.” He read off the note that was taped onto the bottle. 

“Consider it a birthday gift from me and Crowley,” Lucifer added. 

"Thanks," Sam smiled a bit. "...and it was a little funny. But please refrain from trying to get my place of work sued." 

"Yeah yeah yeah," Lucifer waved his hand dismissively. 

Sam turned the stereo back on, on his way out, and drove back to work. 

"Happy birthday Sammy." Gabriel thrust a small wrapped package into his hand. "Don't open it till you're alone okay." He winked and walked off. 

Sam shook his head as he walked back to his office and set the tequila and Gabriel's present on the coffee table. He turned his computer back on and pulled up the website from the café that was down the street to order his lunch. 

He looked up at the knock on his office door and saw one of the delivery people from the café. 

"Turkey BLT and medium Caeser salad with a strawberry banana smoothie?" The guy asked as he read off the receipt. 

"Uh...yeah…" Sam stood up and went to meet him. "But I didn't, I haven't even ordered yet." 

"Looks like someone bought you lunch," the younger man said. 

Sam took the food and tipped the guy before he went back to his desk. He looked at the roses, and at his lunch. He wasn't sure if he should be flattered or weirded out. He was too hungry to care and he dug into his lunch. He picked up Gabriel's gift and unwrapped it. 

From the man that brought you Casa Erotica, the novelization comes a new series set in the steamy world of office romances. Featuring Dan Hanson and Sean Blythe. 

Sam grabbed his phone and called Gabriel. 

"Did you write an erotic novel about me and Dean?" Sam asked when the line picked up. 

"Don't flatter yourself, Sam. Sure Dan's got your build and maybe Sean's got Dean's boyish charm, but that is where all similarities end," Gabriel told him. 

"You realize if Dean sees this he is going to massacre you," Sam replied. 

"Guess it’s a good thing Deano’s home sick today,” Gabriel mused before he hung up. 

Sam hid the manuscript in the bottom drawer of his file cabinet and locked it for extra measure. He’d get rid of it later...after he read it. He pulled up the highlights from the previous night’s football game and used it as background noise as he ate his lunch and finished going through his emails. 

He was getting ready to throw the trash away when he saw a message typed out in the notes section of the receipt for his lunch. 

Enjoy the rabbit food Rapunzel. Don’t work to hard, it is your birthday after all.  

He smiled and knew exactly who’d gotten him the flowers and his lunch. 

                                  --------------------------------------------

Sam hoped it wasn’t too late as he rode the elevator to the third floor. He had a bag of takeout in one hand and a few movies in the other. He stepped off the elevator once it reached the third floor. He shifted the movies to his other hand as he knocked on the apartment marked 3F and smiled when Dean answered the door. 

He was wearing an old Led Zeppelin t-shirt with a pair of sweats and a large thick comforter wrapped around him. 

“Sam?” He asked hoarsely. “What are you doing here?” 

“I wanted to say thank you for the flowers, and for lunch,” Sam answered. 

He couldn’t tell if Dean blushed or if his face was red because it was sick. 

“Although you didn’t have to do that,” Sam added. 

Dean shrugged a little. “I wanted to do something nice for your first birthday together...I would’ve baked you a cake but vertigo’s a bitch.” He broke off with a cough. “I’m glad you liked the flowers though. I almost went with red but it seemed a bit to cliché, and I didn’t want you to think Becky got them for you.”

“Shockingly Becky was pretty tame today,” Sam told him. “I went by that deli you like and picked up some of their chicken noodle soup. I also rented us a few movies, I would’ve liked to use the gift certificate Adler gave me for a way too overpriced steak, but we can go when you’re feeling better.” 

“Sam...you really don’t want to spend your birthday night with a sick person,” Dean started to protest. 

“Well, considering it’s my birthday, you don’t really get a say of who I get to spend it with now do you?” Sam asked. “Now get your ass back on the couch.” 

“Don’t make me laugh, my throat feels like sandpaper,” Dean told him. 

Sam walked into the apartment and shut the door behind him while Dean tried to clean up around the couch. Sam got one of the movies set up and grabbed a bowl for the soup, and joined him on the couch. 

“Happy birthday Sam,” Dean told him. “I promise next year will be a lot better.” 

“You know? All things considered, this one turned out to be pretty good,” Sam replied as he got comfortable. 

“You wouldn’t happen to know why Gabriel asked me to pick between Sean and Sheene would you?” Dean asked as he ate his soup.

“Nope, no idea,” Sam answered. 

“Such a weird little man,” Dean mused as Sam wrapped an arm around him. 

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

3, 11, 18!

3. Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

*immediately blanks on all music I have ever listened to* uhhhh. what did I discover this year? *checks Youtube* uhhh. *checks iTunes* uhhhhhhhhhh...I think maybe nothing?? that’s...sad. my music routine got all fucked up thanks to working from home most of the year--I’m not even sure why, it just did--so when I’ve listened to anything it’s mostly been reliable favorites and/or playlists. looks like I downloaded a bunch of Rag’n’Bone Man that somehow hasn’t made it into iTunes yet, though, which happened because I hadn’t listened to much of his stuff before and then rediscovered it and really liked it, so I guess I’ll go with that.

11. Something you want to do again next year?

well I haven’t gotten to properly hang out with @erlkonigstochter in literal months so that’s certainly something I want to bring back once it seems safe! and I didn’t go to Talkeetna with her at all this year for the same basic reason so that’s another thing I would very much like to do again in the coming year, also assuming it seems safe. I mean, shit, I’d like to go to a sit-down restaurant again, or a theater, or a concert, but obviously I’m far from unique in missing those things. I would also very much like to get back to finishing writing projects sometimes, which took a major hit in 2020 that I can’t completely blame on, you know, 2020. or is this more...something new I did in 2020 that I’d like to continue doing? in that case--I don’t know, taking brisk walks around the neighborhood once the weather is less Alaskan and I’m confident I won’t fuck up my knee again? my therapist convinced me to start doing that regularly because exercise is supposed to be good for your brain and your ADHD symptoms and your ability to sleep and shit like that, and I can’t say I noticed a benefit in any of those areas, but I’m sure it was still good for me. although that mostly just happened because I couldn’t safely go to the gym, so it’s not like...new new.

really the biggest thing is what I was talking about on Twitter, just...trying to be kinder to myself, and stop feeling guilty about not being “good enough” in ways that really don’t matter, and focus on the reasons I actually want to do things instead of immediately putting them on the “should” list and then not wanting to do them and punishing myself for not doing them. trying to stop hating myself, is what it really comes down to, which is theoretically a thing I’ve been working on for at least a decade now but there were definitely some new aspects to it this year! what with the whole “I think I’ve finally figured out why my brain is fucked, I think it’s ADHD, I’m finally getting treatment for it, haha turns out ADHD meds don’t seem to help me so who the fuck knows actually” thing!

18. A memorable meal this year?

well I had an extremely good chicken-BLT-with-cheese recently, which was restaurant food but I ate it in my car, parked next to my dad, because it was kind of my birthday thing. that probably stands out because it was recent and I was starving. I suppose I haven’t had a lot of memorable meals this year--my Florida trip in January might have been the last time I had a meal in a restaurant, and of course anything at Disney World was memorable more for the setting than the actual food. like, Docking Bay 7 Food and Cargo was fun because I at least care a lot about Star Wars in a SWTOR context and it looked a lot like some of the shitty cantinas I’ve visited in the game.

mmm no you know what actually, a memorable Food Discovery this year was this thing from Fred Meyer (Kroger), I’m sure it would’ve been better if I’d heated it up in the oven but even just using a microwave it was fucking delicious, I mean I’d like to say I got into cooking/baking in quarantine this year like so many people did but that did not at all happen and I did try that amazing thing for the first time. also Private Selection ice cream, it’s mildly fancy shit but it’s cheap, the churro flavor is AMAZING

[end-of-the-year asks]

[purplesurveys]

1026

Do you like bacon? I’m not as wild about it as I used to be, but I’m still definitely into the whole put-bacon-on-everything schtick and I have no problem trying out novelty items that put bacon in donuts, or oatmeal, or cake, or whatever it is haha.

Have you ever wished for something to come true and it did? I mean, yes. It’s ranged from something as simple as “I wish it rains today,” to something as big as wishing that the person I like liked me back.

Do you like Rammstein? I’m familiar with the name but I’m not necessarily a fan.

Do you know a friend of a friend? Yes. I used to drink with Angela’s friends from arki. We never ended up being close but they were always great people to have a few drinks with.

Do you smile for no reason? I usually smile for a reason.

if somebody paid you a million dollars to get a green mohawk would you? Sure. I only stay at home anyway and that makes this whole thing not that big of a deal, honestly.

Ever had a BLT? Did you like it? It’s too basic a sandwich for me, but I wouldn’t turn it down if it were the only option available. I’d still remove the tomatoes, though; I never liked those in my burgers or sandwiches.

Are you in College? Not anymore; I graduated a few months ago.

Have you ever been to a State Fair? We don’t have those here, first of all because we don’t have states haha.

Do you like Youtube? I enjoy a number of YouTube channels and I certainly visit the site everyday, but I don’t like the way the corporation itself runs their website. It’s since become very different from what YouTube used to be.

If so whats your favorite channel? At the moment it’s Good Mythical Morning, but I also have a number of other subscriptions like BuzzFeed (for their Worth It series), First We Feast, Try Guys, PewDiePie, Anthony Padilla, Anna Park, a couple of channels dedicated to pro wrestling, some eating ASMR channels, among others.

Do you enjoy compulsively cleaning electronics? Can’t say I do.

What is your favorite small dog breed? Are beagles considered small dogs? I love them.

Do you smell bacon cooking? Nopes but I do have a dark chocolate macadamia cookie from Starbucks beside me that I can faintly smell.

Have you ever bitten anything for any unknown reason? What was it? I like biting on straws, but that’s about it I think.

Do you like the movie "The Master Of Disguise"? I don’t think I’ve heard of it before.

What is the closest thing to you thats red? A paper bag under my desk that holds all the artsy stuff I’ve bought over the years, like my coloring books and paintings.

Have you ever gone into a toystore just to play with the toys? That’s always made me feel like a freeloader haha, so I never go to toy stores just for that purpose. I’d sometimes play with whatever exhibits they have, but I make sure to go through the different toy sections too.

When was the last time you went through a Mcdonalds Playplace? Maybe when I was 5 ot 6 maybe? I went to Burger King’s playground way more often since we dined there more. Also, there were always fewer kids so it was more fun to play there.

Do you have an annoying dog? Cooper’s a beagle, who are notoriously big balls of energy, and so there are days I just can’t keep up with his energy and for those moments I do have shorter patience with him. It’s really not his fault, though.

What was the first comic book you ever had an obsession over? I was never into comic books. I tried for a long time because my two favorite wrestlers are into them, but just couldn’t jump on that train.

Do you like kids pop-up books? Loved them as a kid but I was never obsessed enough to have them for my own. I was content reading pop-up books in the school library.

Does anybody else think bugs are cool and interesting? I’m sure there are tons of people out there, but not me.

What kind of toothpaste do you use? Colgate.

Do you own a pair of striped socks? I don’t think so, no.

What is the most random thing in your bedroom? An inflatable pig.

In a normal conversation do you slip out Latin? LOL no. I don’t think I’ve done that before, unless I was singing something in Latin on purpose.

Can you sing? No. I’m not tone-deaf, but I’m not anywhere near decent either.

If so, what is the highest note you can reach? -

Have you ever been to the cream cheese capital of the world? I don’t know which one that is.

Was this survey random? Enough for me to have a good time with it, yes. 

Have you ever been in a parade? I’ve been to several Pride marches if they count.

What is your mothers, mothers maiden name? I don’t actually remember haha, so I wouldn’t be able to share it anyway. It’s a very Chinese-sounding name, though; that much I can share.

Do you have a different hairstyle? No. I just have bangs, which a lot of people already have. 

Am I annoying yet? I don’t feel annoyed, so you’re good.

Do you like soybeans? I haven’t had actual soybeans. < Same, but I’m sure I like food products that have soybeans in them or are made out of soybeans.

Do you press buttons just to see what they do? Hahahahahahahaha yes that’s me, I’m that person with the restless fingers.

Do you still play pokemon? I never got into the video games because I was never any good at strategy-based games, but I did play Pokemon Go for a while especially when I was in freshman year of college. Overall, I was mostly into the anime.

What is your favorite pokemon? Jigglypuff.

Have you ever put blue streaks in your white cats hair? I have a white dog, but I wouldn’t do this to him even if you gave me dog-friendly dye. Just not my preference.

Are you blond? Nope.

Does it bother you when people have a collar turned up? No.

Are your nails painted? If so, what color? If not, do you like nail polish? They’re never painted. No, I personally don’t see the appeal of nail polish for myself but you do you.

Are you awesome? I’ll let other people be the judge of that.

As a kid did you like Barney, Baby Bop, or DJ more? Wasn’t it BJ? Anyway, I liked him the most, then Barney. I found Baby Bop way too whiny.

Have you been to the Bzoink Forums yet? I just go there to look for surveys. I don’t actually try out the other features.

Does any key on your computer and or laptop stick? No.

Does fire excite you? Fuck no lmao, I’m terrified of fire.

Have you ever sung in a choir? Never.

Do you go to church? Until March this year, I had attended mass every Sunday all my life. When Covid hit, we started watching YouTube recordings at home. So yeah, no escape.

Have you ever had a theme (pirate, ninja, civil war) day? Like, in school? Yeah we had a themed day in high school once. I forgot what the actual theme was but I remember going as Lara Croft. In college, we used to go with color-coordinated outfits for Valentine’s Day, e.g. people who had dates can wear red, those who are single can wear black, those in complicated relationships can wear brown, those who had crushes but can’t have them can wear yellow, etc. It wasn’t an official rule, of course, but it was always fun for those who chose to join haha.

Can you touch your tongue to your nose? Nopes.

Have you ever been to Philadelphia PA? No. It has an amazing reputation for being a passionate wrestling city though; it’d be cool to go there and see a local show or two.

Do you think Orlando Bloom is hot? He’s not unattractive, but I just never had a crush on him.

Do you think Twilight is over-rated? At some point I think it was, but it also got (and continues to get) so much hate that I think that has since been able to balance out the initial overrated-ness of it. 

When was the last time you where sick? what did you have? I had a UTI in May, which I never would’ve known if I didn’t take a urine test because all I got was a high fever that never went away. Peeing was never painful for me during that time and my kidney region never hurt either.

What is your favorite number? 4.

Look at your toes. Sure.

If you are a girl do you hate girl drama? Idk what you mean by that. I never grew out of liking gossip, though.

If you are a guy do you hate girls who prolong the drama? -

ZZZ, im tired....are you? A little, but I have coffee so I might stay up for a bit because it’s Fridayyyyyyy.

Favorite indie music group? alt-J.

Have you ever pet a monkey? I don’t think I have.

Have you ever ridden a camel? Nopes.

Have you ever punched somebody? Never to hurt someone.

Do you like cupcakes? Love them.

Orange or lemon flavoring? Depends on what I’m consuming. I like orange chewy candies, but I like lemonade juice too.

Can you sing opera? Not a chance.

Touchpads or Mouse's? Touchpad.

Have you ever been to a Disney theme park? Nope, I haven’t.

[kinghoranshit]

This is Love (LT) Ch 12

Word Count: 2,069

I began making a pot of coffee of the new roast that arrived; it was a sample pot. It's for those who'd like to try some before purchasing a cup. Katie knew how customers thought. She'd been drinking coffee since she was twelve

Despite Katie's arguments, I laid myself off from teaching and have been helping her. Even though she wasn't happy about it, I think she's actually happy to have me around the shop. I liked being around here; the atmosphere was always chill and pretty happy.

"Hey, you can take break for lunch and find a table. I'll be over in a sec with sandwiches. BLT?" Katie put the extra napkins away she had from refilling the napkin containers.

I made a small nod. "Add Turkey?"

A small smirk formed on her lips. "Of course."

I smiled widely. "Yay!"

Katie only chuckled and proceeded to make our sandwiches. I did as she said and found us a table. Before Katie came over, I noted she flipped the sign to close for lunch break. It's only us working most days now. The only person left out of the group was Rachel, and she worked maybe two or three times a week; it's better than nothing.

"It feels so good to sit down." Katie remarked as she set our plates, bags of chips, and two waters down, then plopped down in the seat across from me.

I laughed. "Fair statement." I opened up the bag of regular kettle chips and crunched down on one of them. I began to observe the sandwich, Katie never did wrong. Happily, I picked up a half and bit into it.

"With how much I've seen you, we've never talked about how the relationships are going with the boys." Katie brought up, munching down on one of her own chips. "How is the Tommo?"

I was a little stunned that she brought it up, but she's right. We never talked about the boys. But I felt that it wasn't a necessity for us to. We, literally, see each other 24/7 now, which of course was not a bad thing.

I cleared my throat. "Tommo is pretty good. We're fine. How's Nialler?"

Katie smirked, laughing under her breath. "Nialler is great. He'd like for all of us to have a housewarming party."

I about choked on the bite I just took; this was why she brought it up. "A what?"

Okay, I knew that Niall bought them a house, and eventually we'd move out of the little apartment and live with our boys, but not so soon. I should've expected it though. I was farther along, at twenty-four weeks, than Katie was, at eight weeks, and I knew Louis going to bring it up soon.

I just wasn't ready.

Katie reached over as much as she could and patted my shoulder. "Sorry, I didn't know how else to bring it up. I had a hunch Niall was up to something with getting a house for us, but I didn't think he'd bring it up this soon."

"Neither did I..." I mumbled, and took a drink of my water. "So... When did he plan on moving you in?"

Katie gave me a solemn look. "End of the month. He'd like to anyways... We'll see if you and I let him." A small smirk spread on her lips and it caused me to giggle a little.

"He's gonna have to rip you from my bare hands."

Katie snickered, taking another bite of her sandwich. "Hasn't Louis mentioned a house of some sort for you two?"

"Like you, I have a hunch he's got something, but he hasn't said anything. I'm sure soon though considering Niall jumped the gun. Louis doesn't like to be out done."

"Fair," she remarked. "But you, two, definitely have us beat. Let's just pray Jen doesn't get pregnant with Harry's kid any time soon."

A short burst of laughter left me. "True! We'll just never know with those two... Have you ever wondered what it'd be like if she had moved here with us and didn't stay in the states?"

Katie nodded slowly. "A couple times, actually.. We'd be so much more crammed in that apartment."

"I'm fairly certain we would've found somewhere slightly bigger," I replied, thinking about it. "Is it awful I'm kind of glad she stayed over there?"

"No." She shook her head, eating a chip. "She's not around our fan problems. She's safer. Also, she's doing what she loves back home."

I started on the second half of my sandwich. "Yeah... But I'm certain she'd join in on the fights."

"Hannah Creed?" Katie cocked a brow. "Are we talking about the same Hannah? I mean, she might do something, but she's more of a lover than a fighter. It's one of the reasons her and Harry work well together."

I smiled. "Right."

The two of us finished our lunches, and cleaned up the little mess we made. Katie was going to flip the sign back over to 'Open' but she stopped midway.

"Shit."

"What?" I asked, feeling this weird buzzing start up in my ears; the sensation that something was wrong.

Katie hastily turned around and started pushing me to the back. "We need to... We need to get out of here."

"How? And why?" I asked, slamming on my heels to stop her. She hadn't even told me what's really going on. I assumed fans, but I'd still like to know.

"There's a mob of fans coming. And I don't really know. Both of us got working feet, come on."

I shot her a look. "But we're both very pregnant. I don't think it's a good idea."

Katie huffed, and I could tell she was scrambling to come up with an idea. Finally, she pointed to the office. "Come on."

The little bell dinged above the door and both of us gasped. It went from quiet to loud within a second, and things started to get thrown around. Without a second thought, Katie pushed me ahead of her and we zoomed into her office.

I tried to help Katie as much as I could with pushing the shelf in front of the office door. Now, we were completely locked in the small square office. The only other items were a tiny desk, chair, and whiteboard. Of course, Katie's laptop on the desk; it's how she kept track of everything, besides on her phone.

Katie, honestly, looked like she was going to shit her pants. At least, that's probably how she would have phrased it. And what I asked next probably didn't help.

"Katie, what're we doing to do?"

Katie paced back and forth, her breathing getting heavy. Her lip quivered and she took a deep breath. "I don't know."

Okay. Katie got us here and safe, I'd take it from here. I thought. It was about time I did something. I racked my brain for any idea, then, suddenly, it hit me. I pulled my IPhone out and found Louis's contact. And without wasting another second, I called him. I hoped he'd pick up and he wasn't in the recording booth at the moment.

"Hey Maddy," an Irish voice picked up. Well, he was the second person I was going to call if Louis didn't pick up, but he picked up Louis's phone. It worked out.

I let out a deep breath. "Kat and I are in trouble... Its fans... We're at the shop. Katie locked us in the office."

"Are you, two, okay?" was his next question.

I let out another deep breath, as if to control myself from going into a hysteria of some sort. "Yeah. No one was hurt. The shop on the other hand..."

I couldn't believe she'd have to redo the shop again. I was not ready to see the damage done this time, and I was sure she's not either.

Niall took a deep breath and exhaled it. "Lou and I are comin. Keep Katie from crying. I'm assuming you called cos she couldn't."

Oh, he's good.

"You got it," I replied, then hung up.

Katie was sitting on the floor now, her back against the wall, and she had her head in her hands. I walked over to her, lowered myself down, and wrapped my arm around her to bring her to me.

"It's gonna be okay," I whispered. "We'll be okay."

I tried to sing to her to help drown out the sounds of the raging fans. It was all I could hear. It felt like it was the start of some sort of apocalypse, and I felt like I could do nothing. I really couldn't. I called Louis, and Niall picked up, luckily.

They'd save us.

***

I'd grown so used to the sounds coming from the shop that I didn't even notice them stop.

There was a knock at the door. "Kat? Maddy? It's Niall and Lou." Niall's Irish accent broke through the door; clear as day.

Katie's head shot up and she choked back the tears I knew she'd been holding in. Katie was quick to stand up, push the shelf out of the way, and open the door. Then she crashed into Niall's arms and started crying, harder than she'd cried in a long time; that wasn't counting when the shop had been destroyed the first time.

"I've got you," Niall caressed, rubbing her back, and kissed her head.

Lou came into my vision from behind them and I scrambled to get up so I could be in his strong, comforting arms.

"This is an outrage," Niall stated, still hugging Katie tight. She'd stopped crying, but the evidence hadn't wiped away from her face yet. "Doing this once? That was not okay. But twice? That's enough. I'm done with this fandom."

"You can't be serious mate," Louis shot.

I swear Niall was going to hit Louis himself. "I can't believe you're not serious. If Katie hadn't got them into the office... Who knows."

Louis sighed. "You're just losing steam at the moment. Think this through... True fans wouldn't do this sort of thing."

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, don't do anything rash, Niall."

"Yeah, spose so... Unless our fans can miraculously do something to make up for this, I dunno. This isn't just our lives, Lou. It's theirs too, and they can't just go and hurt them when they don't like what's happening."

Louis pointed a finger at him. "You've got a point, little Nialler. I suggest a tweet should be made."

A small smirk formed on Niall's lips and he shook his head, chuckling. "Not gonna be me. Right now, I'm taking Katie home."

I looked at Katie, and she look at me, giving me a small smile; though she looked as if she could start crying again. I walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. "Katie, you were great. We're fine, okay?"

She laughed cried. "But you called them. You saved us on this one."

"We saved each other."

"Right." She sighed heavily, and now she observed the damage of the shop. Honestly, it wasn't much worse than the first hit. I think the fact it happened agai was hitting her the most. She let out a little chuckle, starting to pick up a few things. "Nialler, you win."

"I win?" Niall asked, slowly and suspicious. I didn't blame him.

"I'm gonna close the shop. Mainly for the new renovations, but I'll close it down until everything blows over."

Niall walked over to take the broken plate out of her hand and he wrapped his arms around her. "I know this isn't easy for you, but it's the safest for now. You'll be okay."

"I know," she whispered, hiding her face in his chest.

I looked at Louis. "You think it'd be crazy for me to call the school back and say I want my job back for the rest of the year?"

Louis smirked, shaking his head, and he pulled me into a hug. "You're not calling for your job back, love. I'll take care of you. Always."

"Does this mean we're going to live together?" I asked softly.

He peered down at me, curiously and amusingly. "I'd prefer it. But only if you want to."

"Give me till the end of the month," I replied. "I'll be ready."

He placed a small kiss on my head. "It's a deal."

Next: Ch 13

[Masterlist]

[unioncityrecordings]

there’s also that 2013 interview where hooky talks about owning a joy division dildo and when asked what he does with it he said he used to use it on bernard djsjddkdk. and he literally quotes his wife in his book “my wife says i’m obsessed (with bernard)”. barney is a desirable twink.

LMFAOOO OH GOD I FORGOT ABT THE … UNKNOWN PLEASURES THING I HATE HOOKY’S ASS…. THAT QUOTE FROM HIS BOOK TOO!!! HE LITERALLY IS SO OBSESSED WITH BERNARD ITS CREEPY!! I think in hooky’s case it is a mixture of envy/jealousy and resentment.. iirc in his book he blames bernard for not wanting to tour, and that if NO toured more they would’ve been as popular as U2… which isnt true for many reasons. LMFAO

I think he was pretty mad too that bernard got the gig/role of lead singer and didn’t like the spotlight/was reluctant to really… take advantage of it so to speak? and jealous of bernard’s talent as songwriter tbh… but besides that yes god bernard literally is a very desirable twink and also just an irl baby animal he is so cute. everyone just wants to kiss and hug him sjsdldkjfs!!

literal irl :3 emoji omg…. as an aside, I probably sound like a bitter ass with some weird fucking grudge against hooky and I might’ve not a great job explaining it well on this blog in the past so I’ll add a very long post under da cut (it shld be in a read more sorry mobile users if its not!!) 

My feelings about hooky are so negative for two reasons mostly because his book is full of undeserved negativity towards gillian especially (misogyny literally lol) and a few below the belt shots at bernard (not about bernard being a whore  but other things abt his family) and hooky’s own complaints at bernard’s style of singing/writing his own lyrics.. this is i think where i am unlike some NO fans probably bc its just a matter of taste? I think bernard is really underrated in some respects and doesn’t always get the respect/recognition he deserves for how talented he is (i have heard hooky = NO so many times but not the same about him :,( ) 

i think bernard has a really beautiful voice and he does really really amazing things singing melodies both live/on record (harmonies on try all you want on electronic s/t, the variation on the last verse of BLT ‘94 edit both come 2 mind… ;~~;) and imo the lyrics were good before but when he started writing them himself they had another touch to them… hooky has had some good contributions but I think revenge (his first side project) is pretty indicative of his talent as a songwriter (pineapple face.. wow) but bernard’s side projects/remixes shine w/ his personality/talent. hooky’s work in NO feels kind of. derivative of notes/riffs of guitar/synth bits so it feels lazy sometimes and suffered especially in the ‘00s but thats jus me

And not to sound like I have Lead Singer Disease (where your brain is so warped that you cannot See any other band member besides the singer), both steve and gill are rly talented, gillian especially doesnt get enough credit but that’s 4 another post! i went into it and spilled tea everywhere but i think its worth saying since i come off as maybe a bit biased and I also think about this a lot because I am active in NO groups on facebook/etc and get into fights whatever with old people… NO fans suck (me included)