#i am so obsessed with him and idek why

[dr-gaytorius]

ok i gotta get this off my chest but i cant let anyone i know irl know. i am Down Bad for my ex. not the guy i just broke up with, no, it's much worse. my ex from high school-19. it's like i woke up a few months ago and was like. oh. uh oh. i don't think i should get into much detail but it's so bad lmao and very dramatic and i've never felt this way before. and god... he's so hot. he's so stupidly pretty i want to blow something up

[chiistarri]

imsoo normal about guys byw

[sumarmz]

Mourning the loss of what a good writer I could've been if I had stuck with it but noooo all my family just had to tell 9 year old me that being an author was a stupid dream and I HAD to go into science fml

[cal-flakes]

sorry for spamming your acc i’ve js been obsessed with your fics!! i was thinking like reader only just getting used to Rafe spoiling her and then overhearing people call her like a gold digger and going back to not wanting him to spend as much as a cent on her and crying that people think of her that way and him comforting her and assuring her he WANTS to spend his money on her and takes her on a shopping spree the next day or something? idek, ignore this if you don’t like it ❤️

╰┈➤ spoil you

warnings: cursing, threats (sort of)

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓

hot tears trickled down her flushed face as her hands struggled, furiously shoving the lavish materials back into their rightful bags. ‘she’s just using him’ — the words cut and nipped at her as they did laps in her mind, spitefully. she couldn’t see the jealousy in those same words through teary eyes, she almost believed them. what am i doing? she thought.

exhaling deeply, she sat back against her bed, her fingers threading through the plush carpet as her eyes scanned the shopping bags before her. dollars upon dollars lay before her, scattered around her bedroom, hidden by the paper wearing all of the expensive names. dior, chanel, versace and so on. her hands moved to squeeze and pinch at her own skin, desperately wishing to be out of it. she felt disgusting, how could she let such a sweet boy do this for her? how could such a shallow girl wear such materials?

her racing thoughts were quickly distracted by the heavy footsteps on the stairs, coming to a stop outside her bedroom door.

“y/n? baby? you ready to go?” the voice asked so calmly, blissfully unaware of the mess on the other side. through sniffles, y/n quickly wiped away the remaining tears. “i—um, i don’t think i want to go..” she muttered, just loud enough for a frown to pull at his features.

he tilted his head, unbeknownst to her as he moved to the handle, working quickly to shove the door open. rafe’s mouth fell agape as he rushed towards her frame, curled up on the floor, tear marks painting the beautiful dress he’d requested she wore to their date that day.

“sweetheart, what’s wrong? did someone upset you?” he cooed, yet the gruff, threatening undertone didn’t go unnoticed. shaking her head, she relaxed into his touch as he slotted himself next to her, pulling her head into his sweater clad chest. “then why are you crying baby?”

catching her breath, her eyes moved to the floor, unwilling to meet his eyes as if she’d burst into tears once again. “do you— do you think i’m using you?” y/n whimpered, blinking away any tears threatening to spill. rafe’s eyebrows knit together as he craned his neck to look down at her, all sorts of questions filling his mind.

“my sweet girl— what are you talking about? ‘course i don’t” he soothed, reaching a steady hand to cup her cheek. “why would you say that?”

—

after a good, long hour of more tears and an abundance of reassurance, rafe had finally managed to calm the flow of tears seeping through his sweater, through the art of forehead kisses and soft words.

“baby, what have i told you about listening to such spiteful words? huh? you are in no way a brat, or using me, or shallow, m’kay?” he sighed, pulling his lips into a thin line. “i buy you these things—“ gesturing to the mountains of bags and teddy bears, “because i want the absolute best for you, i want you to feel good, i want you to feel so unbelievably adored you don’t know what to do with yourself, alright?”

“but— but i can’t do the same for you rafey, i want to, i want to buy you things too! but i can’t..” she frowned, her bottom lip wobbling as she spoke. “you do enough y/n, you don’t need to buy me things, the feeling of you lying on me at night is enough, the smile on your face when i walk through that door— is more than enough”

sighing contently, y/n nodded as she melted further into him— if that was possible.

“you gonna cheer up now? let me take you out?” he chuckled, twirling a slender hand around a couple strands of her now tangled hair. “mhm”

—

“wait! your walking too fast rafe!” y/n pouted, drawing a hearty chuckle from him as he came to an exaggerated halt. holding out his arm for her, he waited as she skipped along the concrete, giggling profusely as she quickly linked her arm with his. “where to first?” he asked, the infamous smirk once again plastered on his face.

y/n’s face scrunched as she thought hard about this question, her hand— which was tightly wrapped around his forearm, coming to her attention. “well, i do need my nails repainted, they’re so grown out now!” she chirped, beaming up at him hopefully.

chuckling, he pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before leading her through the streets. “little brat..” he muttered, just loud enough for her to hear. “hey!” she yelped, swatting his chest. “that’s not funny!”

“only teasing sweetheart, what colour were you thinkin’?”

┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛

[qraceiuv]

secrets. jude bellingham.

summary — jude bellingham x fem!reader | fans freak out over jude shooting his shot in a certain model's posts; little do they know it's their way of uncovering a long hidden relationship.

note — i feel on a role rn — send in requests!! any faceclaims you wanna see used and ideas for social media posts <3

warnings — nothing, only fluff and flirting

_________________________________________

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: just me recently dont get too disappointed

—

username: shes my wife she js doesnt know

username: gimme a chance pls

yourfriend: REOWRRRR

— y/nsusername: me when you

username: i need u

judebellingham: not a disappointment at ALL

— y/nsusername: omg REALLY

— judebellingham: omg YES REALLY

— y/nsusername: wait im blushingg😞

username: why are they talking like THIS

— username: i dont KNOW but im ENJOYING IT

username: JUDE MF BELLINGHAM?

username: JUDE HELLO?

username: here from jude and wHAT

twitter

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: when in rome..

—

username: wasnt she just seen in rome with jude!!

— username: i think it was a false rumor

username: explain. 🧍‍♀️

username: wanting jude to comment again..

username: I NEED U BADLY

y/nupdates: hmmm...

judebellingham: your purse looks heavy, let me hold it for you

— y/nsusername: it's actually a tote bag... 😒

— judebellingham: can i get points for trying

username: JUDEJUDEJUDE

username: IM HERE FOR THIS

username: give him the points y/n GIVE HIM THE POINTS

username: jude could hold my shopping bags

— y/nsusername: i agree with this!!

— judebellingham: if itll make you happy🙏

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: never beating the passenger princess allegations

—

username: jude's passenger princess??

username: fit is eating

username: WHO TOOK THESE PHOTOS MS. Y/N.

— y/nsusername: the 60yo uber driver

username: she is not slick nor funny

yourfriend: girlll

judebellingham: 🚗🚗🚗

— y/nsusername: alright now.

username: NOW WHAT IS HE DOING😭

username: jude honey just say ur obsessed

username: i cant tell if theyre actually like becoming a thing or if hes a stalker

— username: mix of both!!

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: a long time loving you..

—

username: A LONG TIME?

username: this is outrageous dont ever speak

username: so uhm so uhm

username: IT WAS ALL A TRICK?!

username: IDEK WHAT IM FEELING RN

username: this is GROSS i am UNWELL (literally crying in adoration)

judebellingham: secrets out 🤷🏾

— y/nsusername: your loud ass got us caught idiot

— judebellingham: its hard launch day not bully jude day

username: HARD LAUNCH DAY😭😭

username: jude just understands

twitter

y/nsusername has posted on their instagram story!

_________________________________________

[drdemonprince]

Your post about "transitioning to escape gender but then there's more gender" has been rotating furiously in my mind since I saw it. When I first realized I was trans at age 15, I identified as agender, but I knew I wanted to go on T and get top surgery so I decided it would be simpler to tell everyone I was a trans man and that just kind of became the truth. Now 10 years later I'm sorta starting to feel like I wanna actually be agender again, but the idea of an identity shift like that at my current age is terrifying and idek who I'd tell, or how I'd do it, and I don't think I wanna stop using he/him exclusively, and I have no idea why I'm telling *you* this other than that I'm scared to talk to anyone I know about it because it feels like somehow admitting that I was wrong about the gender I fought like hell to become, even though i don't really think that's the case I think my sense of self might just be continuously evolving... but I just wanna say you talking about having a gender shift like once every several years is helping me process this rn and feel like I'm not faking anything now AND wasn't faking anything before.

Dog i am right there with you. As a kid I always thought gender was bullshit, the coercive nature of it disgusted and scared me and I rebelled against it the best that I could. I loathed being assigned to any gender category, I never identified as a "girl", but I didn't really identify with any other category either. Puberty terrified me (and of course, it does most young people, but it felt like it would only more deeply entrench the category that I was assigned to in other people's minds, it made it more difficult to escape). I had trans friends as a teen but it did not occur to me to transition because there was really no end goal that I wanted to head toward, I just knew what I wanted to avoid and not experience. I coped mostly by degendering my body with a fairly androgynous style and way of presenting myself to the word and mannerisms, but also by starving myself which was not so great, and not sustainable. I considered transness for myself, even trying on a friend's binder and presenting masculinely at certain queer events, but it seemed to me at the time like just another way in which to obsess over gender, a foolish coercive socially constructed thing that i was trying to avoid.

In my 20s, I learned more about nonbinary people and figured that explained things pretty well. I was enamored with the transition journeys of some other trans people, largely trans women more than trans masculine ones (with some trans-effeminate faggot boy exceptions), but I still didn't want to take on all the expense and uncertainty and hassle of navigating the medical system for myself. I didn't think that the pursuit of being happy merited taking on so many risks or fiddling with myself so much. I saw it as an extravagance I didn't deserve, I guess, and I also couldn't locate a target outcome that seemed desirable enough for me. I was still dealing with an eating disorder and recovering from some trauma and didn't really think about my life in the long term. I guess I still don't, haha, whoops.

Eventually I came out as nonbinary, and nobody really gave a shit. There is a lot of useless, solidarity-breaking discourse that happens online about essentially who is "more" oppressed, binary trans people or nonbinary people, and a lot of that fight amounts to the two groups shouting about the ways in which they annoy one another without there being any cogent analysis of power and where oppression comes from (let alone how much those two categories overlap).

But I will say that being a they/them was far more difficult than being a trans guy socially and institutionally, because your identity is completely illegible to every system around you. "binary" trans people struggle under this too, but i have found there are some immense benefits to having a socially and institutionally legible target gender. nobody would fucking actually they/them me. not anyone. not even other trans people and queer people. there were no public gendered spaces for me. there were no spaces for me. there was no way to move through the medical system, professional life, and other public institutions as a nonbinary person. i was still just a cis woman in everyone's eyes. including the people who claimed to support me. and it was massively frustrating.

and so i think ultimately, i took my frustrations with not being at all able to escape coerced gendering as a nonbinary person and combined that with the affinity i do feel for queer men and the general sense of misery i was still experiencing in my life and decided what the hell, i'll round myself up to being a trans guy. i upped my T dose, i dressed more masculinely, i eventually got a super masculine hair cut that really squared off my jawline and got me gendered correctly, and i started more consciously inhabiting queer men's spaces.

and it was pretty dope. for a while. i felt the rush of having gotten away with something. when people effortlessly gendered as male i felt freed at last from the pressure to be a woman. i was no longer being coerced into being something that i was not. i had escaped the enforced category so much that people couldn't even see the history of that category being pushed onto me. there was relief.

but then. as always happens. people made little comments about my handshake being too weak for a man. the hypermasc dudes at the leather bar rolled their eyes at me and all the other effeminate dudes swanning around the bar. the people who picked me up off the apps or at the sauna would always let it slip, eventually, that they had a lot of experience with trans guys, or had most recently been dating all trans guys, and it would make me feel like a stock character to them, yet another category into which all kinds of assumptions had been projected. a type not a person. a few people said my haircut made me look like i was in the military or described me as actually masculine, which was equally jarring because it was so incorrect. people tried to affirm me by saying i was such a dude, i was such a man, i was such a fag, i was such a gay bro, pawing all over me leaving the mark of all their assumptions and oversimplifications behind. i had tried to run away from gender and there i was just BASTING all the time in everybody's goddamn assumptions about gender. trans people didn't talk about it any less than cis people did, they were just as fucking confining to be around.

it honestly feels really dirty. when people try to affirm your gender constantly and can't stop talking about it, when people look past you and see only your body, your history, or the role they have typecast you in, when people use your body as an outlet for their own gender or sexuality explorations, when they keep trying to measure every single facet of existence up into being masculine or being feminine or being toppy or bottomy or any other gendered type, it's claustrophobic.

as a trans man i tried playing this whole gender game and the second i started winning i began to feel even more disgusted with myself. it wasn't a victory or an escape, it was a capitulation. exploring with my identity and presentation has brought positive things into my life and my health has gotten better as a result, and i've made wonderful friends who, like me, are disaffected by this coercive gendering system. so i don't regret any of that. but trying to make myself legible under the existing gendered system was a fool's fucking errand. i wish i hadnt done it to myself and i wish i hadnt had it pushed onto me. to be clear, it was cissexist, binarist society that forced it onto me; even when other queer people coated me in their gendered assumptions that is obviously a byproduct of societal conditioning, and it's conditioning that ive reinforced in my own behavior and outlook toward others plenty of times too. we all do it, and we are all wronged by the existing coercive gender system.

i dont even care how i fucking identify anymore and i have no intention of changing pronouns again or anything, i'm so bored of it, i just actually want off this fucking thing. im not interested in trying to make others understand what i am anymore or in who i am even being simply categorizable, i dont want to obsess anymore over how i am perceived or to attempt engineer my appearance and mannerisms to broadcast an identity to anyone. i dont even want to fuck anybody right now at all because im so sick of how much that's a gender pantomime for people. i want off this fuckin ride man im so done.

it's kind of freeing, to hit this point of complete gender apathy, and i think it is a pretty common stage of identity development for a lot of queer people who have explored multiple identities and roles over time. there is no category that i actually am, or that anyone is, there are just the frameworks that society has given us to work with to understand ourselves, and the ways in which we flatten who we are to be able to make sense of the world using those frameworks. but who i actually am is so much more contextual and mutable than all that. i am a different person in the classroom than i am on the train platform than i am in the bedroom than i am cuddling on the couch than i am when i'm working out than i am when curled up on the floor crying than i am at a big furry convention. who i am continues to change as new people come in and out of my life and age and change and my body alters and as the weather turns. who fuckin knows man it's nothing and everything. i want to let it just be

[delicatenerdbluebird]

My Random Takes on The Secret History (contains spoilers)

The biggest tragedy that comes with being Richard Papen coded is you need a group like Julian's Greek class to feel normal about yourself because the rest of the world makes you feel like a misfit.

That Richard and Camilla scene where she reveals being physically abused by Charles... I feel that scene is a strong criticism of abusive households. Like Richard was used to seeing his mother getting beaten by his father and sometimes he was also a victim of his violence. And in 'that' scene, he fantasizes about doing the same to Camilla and worse. This shows it's a never-ending cycle no matter how you see it. The kids are gonna end up developing fucked up fantasies if their exposure to fucked up things is constant.

I strongly believe Henry was gonna make Richard the scapegoat had something gone sideways. And honestly, it makes perfect sense. Richard insisted on joining their class. He was an outsider. Henry could have easily made up something like Richard was envious of their group, he was jealous of his and Bunny's closeness and so he ended up killing him, something along those lines that Richard wanted to be accepted and we would not accept him instantly, naturally because of our prior history. Knowing how Henry was good with words, he could have made Richard an obsessive, disturbed freak to the FBI for all we know. Remember how Henry saved him from getting frozen to death? This incident can be perfectly used to portray him as a mentally disturbed person who would rather freeze to death than go back to his home to a normal eye.

Now Julian. Oh, Julian I knew was the red flag the moment it was mentioned he does not accept students who have different ideas than his. But to think that fucker would turn out to be the biggest crankiest bitch?!! I mean I am soo mad he was the one who fed those Dionysiac ideas to them and in the end, he just ran away?! I was baffled by how he treated Henry during that confession scene he did not even listen to him completely... Henry does not stutter HE WAS STUTTERING and Julian shoved the letter back to him... I mean the disrespect! This scene (for me at least) was a reality check that no matter how loving, cool, caring, and impactful you might think your teacher is, at the end of the day, they are gonna be a teacher and you are gonna be just a student. It destroyed my heart when Henry said he loved Julian more than his own father 😭 The worst thing you can do is take advantage of the vulnerabilities of someone who not only respects you but also loves you dearly. This mf can move mountains and I would still hate his old rat ass!

Charles and Camilla Idek what to make of them. Charles turned from a pitiable character to an entirely disgusting one for me. I accept Francis' theory that he wouldn't have made that much fuss about his interrogating situation if Camilla and Henry weren't a thing. Remember when Camilla and Henry had some secret code and he got mad why he didn't know about it? I do think camilla and henry were always a thing before it became apparent to everyone. Besides the book is from Richard's perspective, and he does seem oblivious at times.

I am not aware of the popular takes in the fandom so I don't know if this is gonna be a hot take or not but Camilla gave pick-me-girl vibes. She did not have any girl friends and looked down upon Judy (I am not asking them to be besties exactly but a little respect won't have killed) Judy only developed a weird impression about them during that party scene when Camilla dropped her drink onto her and did not apologize (or was it the opposite? i dont remember exactly but the point is Judy is not the type to judge others for no reason...she judged them after that party) Camilla's attitude could be attributed to the fact that Charles was controlling but idk

The Secret History reminded me of The Hollow Men by T.S. Eliot (some of the verses below):

We are the hollow men

    We are the stuffed men

    Leaning together

    Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!

    Our dried voices, when

    We whisper together

    Are quiet and meaningless

    As wind in dry grass

    Or rats' feet over broken glass

    In our dry cellar

   

    Shape without form, shade without colour,

    Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

So basically I am yapping here because my friend hasn't finished tsh yet and I just needed to let it all out 😩

Not to mention I absolutely love my expensive gossip boy Francis 🥺 ☕

(Thank u for reading it this far!!)

[hopingforbrain]

idek why I’m obsessed with phoenix mountain wangxian, but I am

didn’t wwx briefly imagine that some lusty mountain beast was the one that kissed him? we could go that route, or - hear me out, scum villain style papapa plant pollen, with the added bonus of bringing one’s true feelings to the forefront of the whole ‘pls dick me down’ thing that’ll be going on as well. ah yes, mt baifeng, the home of lusty beasts and suspiciously convenient sex plants.

anyways, you can’t tell me that wwx didn’t have at least some very un-het and un-platonic things going on for lwj in his first life.

i want all of that shit to hit him like a goddamn truck.

so. wei wuxian, having had his fill of the sunshine, jumps off the tree and meanders around, accidentally stumbles into a pile of nice-smelling flowers. like, really, unnaturally nice-smelling, in ways that flowers shouldn’t be. more specifically, they smell like sandalwood, which is, obviously, wood and not flowers. strange, isn’t it? and if wei wuxian also happens to be getting weirdly hard from the scent - well, he’s a healthy young man in the middle of a hunt, isn’t he? things happen! dicks happen! it is what it is.

lan wangji, who has been following behind him like the cute little repressed creep that he is, sees wei wuxian sitting unmoving in the flowers, practically coated in a thick layer of dusty ass pollen, two fingers close to a mental breakdown about the state of his dick. and so, understandably a little concerned, he walks closer. when wei wuxian remains unmoving, he does the gentlemanly thing and calls out a regular-old, lan wangji style, not hot and not cold, exactly like room-temperature water, ‘wei ying?’

wei wuxian hears him and. the truck hits. strike one!!!

immediately, he knows who it is, but what surprises him is the way his thighs clench together at the sound (sex pollen let’s go) and more importantly, the sheer amount of feeling that surges into his chest (feelings pollen let’s really go) an all-consuming mix of admiration, joy, desire, and the straight-up burn of love. no running, no hiding, my homegirl pollen lets him know exactly what he’s been repressing, and wei wuxian chokes under the weight of it.

if lan wangji was a two on the scale of concern before, he’s now on a solid eight. hurrying forward, he drops onto his knees next to wwx, reaching out and calling his name again.

(now, sure, the pollen can affect lwj, as a treat, but this ain’t about him. he’s already pretty horny for wwx all the time, plus he’s so aware of his feelings that the pollen is a step down in intensity, actually)

wwx knows that seeing lwj right now is a Certified Bad Idea, but he’s too high on pollen to care much, pulling off his blindfold and springing onto lwj. cue uncontrollable love confession as wwx practically vomits his messy feelings all over the poor guy, who, on one hand, is absolutely elated and also horny bc the way wwx is gripping him is Not Subtle.

But. lwj being lwj, quickly realises something is wrong, figuring out that the pollen is mad suspicious and telling wwx that he doesn’t know wtf he’s saying, let’s just all calm down now and get some help (while horny gripping, lwj u freak)

of course, wwx has to debunk him asap, so he pulls out every embarrassing receipt out of the vault in an effort to get hanguang-jun’s pants off, logically and methodically. their first meeting? wwx was so thrilled that he didn’t actually mind losing his emperors smile. library pavilion days? all the better to see lan zhan’s pretty face with. waterborne abyss near-death experience? heavens, lan zhan’s arms were really…

qishan discussion conference? it was all wwx’s fault. accident what accident. he knew what he wanted, lwj’s attention and his ribbon - even though he didn’t know lwj would get so angry, he just wanted lwj to look at him, okay! you think his hand could slip?? please!! he’s more likely to shoot himself in the foot with an arrow!

xuanwu cave? don’t think he’s weird, lan zhan, but it was kinda nice to spend some time alone together, even if their third wheel was a giant murderous tortoise…

not to mention the sunshot campaign - you think wwx liked leaving lwj in the dust every time he brought up his cultivation? no!! don’t blame him, lan zhan, he just didn’t wanna be dragged to gusu for punishment, nor dirty lwj with all the corpse fumes!! (wow this guy is embarrassing)

after this verbal thesis, lwj is left blinking. wwx, who is about to lose his mind, pounces again. lwj, having all avenues of resistance exhausted, just. does not. resist.

in fact, he is equally if not more enthusiastic as wwx.

yes they get freaky in the flowers. yes lwj has to confess as well, and gets wheedled into a matching play-by-play of wangxian’s greatest hits with wwx being the prompter. yes they get married live happily ever after and lwj gets to fuck a new core into wwx. the enddddd I’m just so so so normal about these two.

[roryslut]

goth and metal prt 1-eurory x f!reader (use of y/n)

brothers best friend‼️ (euro is 19 in a high school type band, reader is a senior) idk how norwegian school works sorry

warnings‼️ smut, drinking and drugs, making out, ass slapping, fingering, oral f!receiving, p in v, gagging, creampie, the L-word, a meer couple sentences that have just a wee bit of degration and exibitionism

(this is based off sum random pic i saw on here and my love for my bauhaus vinyls and obsession w my set up 💪)

thank you all for being so sweet frrr, i’ve been an anonymous rory lover and all of these fics are from the archive of my notes app over the past few months :)

Y/N is jan axels sister who doesn’t listen to much metal music, she’s more into gothic music. her brother had two friends he started a band with, she only knew the guitarist, oystein, since he was jan’s friend for a while. she stayed upstairs most of the time but around 9 she got sick of all the noise and decided to go downstairs.

As she approached the basement the music grew louder. she opened the door and the music stopped, all of their eyes hit her, making her feel a little embarrassed in her sleep shorts and a sweater.

“jan, can you keep it down or like, idk go somewhere else becuase i am just trying to have some peace of mind…”

the other members looked at jan who said “yeah, yeah we are almost done.”

“thank you” Y/N said leaving and going back upstairs.

“you really let your little sister boss you around like that?” oystein asked, he was a long time family friend and he knew Y/N for a while. they were friends when they were younger but he just kind of changed. “she’s not bossing me around, i just respect her, i mean, she usually is tolerant when we practice at my place.”

oystein looked pretended to be offended “what do you mean tolerant? she should be moved by my amazing guitar skill.” the bassist snickered, “in your dreams” jan replied, making oystein blush a little and the chuckles to grow louder.

oystein sighed and set down his guitar, “im getting a drink,” he states plainly before running up the stairs. he goes to the fridge and retrieves a cold glass of beer. when he closes the fridge door he finally noticed Y/N is also in the kitchen. she is reaching up high to grab a mug from the top shelf but she couldn’t seem to reach it. the sweater she was wearing rode up on her torso, exposing her flat stomach and thin waist which contrasted her full behind, the shorts hugging them well, leaving little room for the imagination. oystein shuttered, he couldn’t tell if it was because he was seeing his childhood best friends little sister all grown up, or because he was overflowing with desire. he will admit it, he has longed for her for at least a decade but nothing ever came of it. she was out of his league and off limits because of her brother, they had hung out a lot as friends but,

(a/n: idk why but when i wrote this i made the back story from euros first person, idk just imagine culkin like narrating idek, good luck.)

“i knew jan protected her with his life. one day when jan and i were in our last year of secondary school, about to graduate, i actually told him how i was feeling. that was unusual to say the least, we didn’t put our emotions into words very often. i told him how i wanted to ask his sister to the prom and how she had caught my eye in the past. he seemed suspicious and hesitant but eventually got the idea and gave me his blessing. i went to the store to get flowers, but they were sold out, i didn’t want to spend gas going to a different store so I just went home. but after that i lost hope, i never went to get the flowers or ask Y/N to prom, i guess i got caught up in the senior work and eventually i graduated, and now i only see her when im at jan’s.”

(okay it’s over, back to third person <3)

he pulled his eyes away and searched for a bottle opener but couldn’t seem to find one anywhere. he held the bottle up to Y/N and she nodded, she swiftly grabbed a spoon. oystein had his hand by the cap and had the bottle set on the table so she swiftly held his hand in place with one hand and with the other, used the spoon to open the bottle. oystein flinched and shook his hand, Y/N laughed, “it didn’t hurt that bad! and look your bottle is open,” oystein just smiled a little, and Y/N almost melted, his smile was beautiful but he never wore it. “you should smile more.” she she stated facing him. oysteins smile dropped almost immediately but the blush stayed on his cheeks and he reddened as Y/N inched closer to his face.

“you look nice when you smile,” she says, beaming and brushing a stand of his hair behind his ear smoothly. she walked away, giving oystein a second to breathe and hide the massive boner inside his pants. Y/N had abandoned the mug and grabbed a beer bottle from the fridge and opened it. “aren’t you too young to drink, Y/N?” oystein asked, he was 19 but not that new to alcohol. “no” she replied, “well, yes and no…” she said taking a hearty sip. “how old are you these days?” oystein asked slyly, Y/N replied with her honest age, “i’m graduating in a couple months.” “wow, you are mature beyond your years…” oystein states, smiling. “maybe you are just behind,” Y/N laughs and then drinks more. they are both about halfway done but the weather was kind of nice out. it was a summer dusk so Y/N and oystein went outside to finish beers and while they were out there, oystein couldn’t help but retrieve a rolled blunt from his pocket.

Y/N was a little nervous because they think smoking weed with someone is very vulnerable but they agreed to oystein and they smoked the joint. “i’ve always wanted to do this with you…” oystein admits, “do what?” she laughs, “idk, smoking together, drinking, talking, anything… i’ve always wanted to know you better.” she looks down, “i wanted to know you to, but you always seemed to push me away when i got to close, you never opened up to me after middle school you know…” oystein feels devastated a little hurt hearing this, he keeps smoking. “i’m so sorry if i made you feel unappreciated, Y/N. i really liked you, like really really liked you,” he chuckles. “i promise,” she smiles, still looking down, “really?” she asks. he goes on, “really! you know i was going to ask you to my prom last year, gosh i remember like it was yesterday. i asked your brother for his permission, it was the scariest shit i’ve ever done. and i was going to ask you but the store was sold out of flowers and i guess i just psyched myself out…” he admits, kind of laughing at the story.

Y/N is surprised since he never talks about his feelings this deeply. “wow, i never knew. why did you get psyched out?”

“i don’t know, you were almost two years younger than me but i was a nobody at that school. you were pretty and had good friends and were nice to everyone. i figured another lucky guy had already asked you, i wouldn’t want it make it weird.”

“wow, oystein i wish you told me, i would have gone with you.” Y/N said, he was kind of in disbelief at that.

Y/N smokes the blunt and smiles, content with oysteins confession, “i forgive you, cheers…” she says and holds up the bottle, “cheers to what?” oystein questions. “cheers to confession…” she laughs and they clink the bottles. “i confess that i really liked you too, well before you slammed the door on your emotions… but i know the oystein i knew is still in there.” Y/N says, seriously, almost in a stern tone. oystein was frozen for a moments time but in that moment he felt like he had gained the wisdom of centuries.

oystein finished the blunt and tossed it, and that quickly he grabbed her jaw and pressed his lips to hers for their long awaited kiss. their lips locked together, so perfectly they thought they would get stuck and never pull away. oystein even ran his tounge over her lips, meeting her in the middle when she got brave enough to try a french kiss. she was a little hesitant kissing someone she had known for so long, it almost felt wrong, but also so so right. her hands tangled in his wild hair and he held the back of her neck, his other hand subconsciously creeping up Y/N’s soft thighs.

after another moment which seemed like centuries, they pulled away catching their breath. they began to arrange their clothes and hair back to normal. “oystein?” Y/N asks, “yes?” “does this mean… that you still you know, like me?” oystein blushes “what makes you think that??” he states quickly. “well, you just kissed me like your in love, and… it’s just- also, i could see your boner the whole time.” Y/N admits, oystein was flustered but they laughed it off, his icy eyes locked on hers and he promised-not said, promised, “the second I laid eyes on you I was yours, yes, Y/N, I do like you.” she smiled and put herself in his arms, “good, i like guys who like me…” and then they both started laughing in each others arms like they used to.

“i have to get back,” oystein says getting up and holding the door back into the house open for Y/N but they eventually speak, “have fun with your death metal,” Y/N says, “its black metal, norwegian black metal…” oystein says smiling, “either way, my bauhaus vinyl is easier on the ears.” she smiles. “well maybe i’ll come up to your chamber and we can listen to it together, how does that sound?” he asks, she responds quickly, “grood… i meant to say great and good, i’m sorry i-.” he had already walked away thinking about how was he going to get rid of this raging boner.

later in the night, the guys had packed up their things, oystein was the last to leave, “hey do you want to stick around and watch a movie or something?” jan asked oystein, “umm, no” he remembered he promised he would go to his sisters room, “sorry man i’m just tired, see you.” and oystein quickly left with his guitar case and pretended to be going out the door but in reality he went to the next floor and knocked on Y/N’s door.

she had been waiting patiently for oystein to come upstairs and when he knocked she started the bauhaus vinyl, hoping he would be impressed with her music taste.

when Y/N opened the door oysteins jaw dropped, she had changed from her pajamas and into a lacey black top and thong that was covered by a sheer robe, tied around her small waist. he couldn’t believe it, she looked so different, so beautiful and enticing, he didn’t know what to say.

“does jan know you are here?” Y/N questioned, oystein shook his head, still in disbelief, “um- can i come in?”

she let him in and he sat on the end of her bed which also was the best place to listen to the vinyl. “do you like it?” Y/N asks. “yes” oystein says smiling, he puts his hands on her waist and begins to inch upwards towards the lacey bra, his hands still over the robe. “i think it’s really sexy…” oystein says continuing, “no,” Y/N laughs taking his hands in her own and interlocking them. “i meant the vinyl, oystein.”

oystein blushed from embarrassment and arousal, “oh- yes that’s really good too.” he nods. she laughs.

she leans into him and their lips meet, his hands returning to her body as the kiss intensified. she reached under his shirt, he felt electrified when she touched his skin and peeled his shirt over his head, quickly reattaching their lips.

the gothic music blasted through the speakers, him still sitting on the bed, she backed away and he bathed in all her glory. she gave him a small tease, untieing the robe and slowly peeling it off her body, revealing her smooth pale skin that shined in the moonlight flowing through the window. the black lingerie contrasted her complexion and he had a sudden urge to strip it off her.

oystein stood from the bed quickly, pulling her in for another kiss, rubbing his large ringed fingers up and down her torso, he reached behind her back and unclipped the bra, letting out a sigh. he pulled it off her, staring for a second at her chest before grabbing her in his hands and fondling her breasts in his hands. “you are so beautiful, god you have no idea what this does to me.”

Y/N moaned at his words which only encouraged him, he latched to her neck and slurped at it like a vampire, letting his teeth graze her soft skin before sucking a hickey onto her throat. “sorry babe, your brother might get mad about that…”

she sighed, “forget about him.” she said, running her hands into his hair. he moved his lips down her body to her chest and began to suckle and kiss her breasts, Y/N continued moaning as she held his face to her, he bit down a little on her nipple causing her to flinch a little and pull oystein by the hair, but he just let out a low moan and the vibrations ran from his teeth to her bud, making her pussy wetter every second. she had to hold on to the desk so she wouldn’t collapse right there.

he got down to his knees, leaving a trail of kisses down her torso. his ringed fingers pulled down her thong effortlessly. he stared at her, but then slid his finger through the folds and penetrated her hole. Y/N let out a lewd noise but oystein didn’t stop, he kept fingering her, making her moan harder and her legs feel like jelly. oystein placed a hard smack on her asscheek and then brought his lips to the clit, kissing and then sucking on it. she felt close already. “oystein!! i’m gonna- please i’m going to cum”

oystein was suprised that she was going to cum this fast but her pussy leaked all over his hand and he lapped the juices up with his tounge. he stood up and pulled her into a kiss, her cum mingling between their lips, and right then, she came on his fingers- hard, his hand was still on her ass and it held her up since her knees had completely buckled under her.

oystein took down his pants and boxers swiftly, Y/N was suprised at his length, “oystein, that won’t fit!” “i’ll be careful baby” he replies. while he took his pants off Y/N flipped the vinyl which is very important. then he was ready. he took her by the waist and pressed her back to his chest, his hard member pressed between her legs, precum was oozing from the tip of his cock. oystein sat back in the bed, right between the speakers and set Y/N on top of him, spreading her legs. “are you ready?” oystein asks gruffly in her ear, nibbling at the lobe. she nodded and he groaned and his cock twitched between her legs so she wasted no time and grabbed it. she pumped it a few times, lubing it with pre cum and her pussy juices. then she pushed him into her, his cock filled her to the brim. “oh my god,” she muttered, he continued pushing in, inch by inch. she didn’t know if she could take the feeling at first. oystein wrapped his arm around Y/N and grabbed her tit roughly, he began moving her up and down his length. “you are doing so good.” oystein praised as he began to speed up, pounding into her messy cunt. she began to moan louder, over come by the feeling. “let me hear you,” oystein says, “they can’t hear you over the music, unless you want them to you little slut.” he laughs, “yeah, i bet you would like that, if your brother came up here and walked in on his best friend pounding his innocent little virgin sister.” Y/N couldn’t respond more than pornographic moans. “i’m-im” she utters, “oystein, cum-“ she speaks and has and orgasm on oysteins cock. he reaches his other hand around her and puts his fingers deep in her throat, pulling her down on him roughly. she was gagged and fucked into oblivion, his hand squeezing her chest. her moans echoing louding through the room with bauhaus music.

oystein finished inside her, he grunted and spurted cum though her. she was oozing and when he pulled out she sighed roughly and let cum drip and bubble from her hole. oystein left a harsh slap on her ass, almost squeezing it like he was milking her pussy. the whole time serenading her with compliments and love that he had for her. “you did so good, baby, god if i knew that pussy was so good i would have gotten it in grade school.” kissing her neck.

then he left, getting a washcloth from her bathroom to clean them. he got dressed and she pulled on the robe, “are you leaving?” Y/N asks, “i’m sorry- i thought that’s what you wanted, i mean, i would have to leave early tomorrow.” oystein responds. “that’s okay,” Y/N says, “do you want to spend the night?”

oystein couldn’t believe it, it’s not like he had never slept over in the house before, he had hundreds of times, but never in your bed. he nodded and got into the bed. they kissed a couple times before he pushed her hair back and stated, “i love you,” it seemed early but they really did love eachother, and they had for years. she blushed and tried to cover her smile with her hand. “i love you, too, oystein, i never stopped once.” she states, cuddling up into oysteins chest and falling asleep.

(prt 2 here)

[turnin9pag3]

GUYS ITS REGULUS ARCTURUS BLACKS BIRTHDAY I LOVE HIM SM SO IN HONOR OF HIM HERE ARE A TON OF THINGS THAT REMIND ME OF HIM

the movie 500 days of summer

the book a list of cages

the show i am not okay with this

the character viggo grimborn

the animal sugar glider (dont ask y idek)

All of the following lyrics:

“screaming while the exit signs read heavens waiting” (circles, ptv)

“im gonna tear out the thread one by one from your skin til your bones feel embarrassed from all the attention” (i dont care if your contagious, ptv)

“why dont you call me out for leaving all the lights on? why dont you call?” (growing/dying, the backseat lovers)

“i know that good lives make bad stories” (sober to death, car seat headrest)

“youll ask why and there will be no answer so you ask for how long and there will be so answer then youll ask what can i do and there will be no answer and eventually you will shut up” (fill in the blank, car sear headrest)

“karma police arrest this man he talks in math he buzzes like a fridge hes like a detuned radio” (karma police, radiohead)

“try to, try to forget that your bones will dismantle and the dreams you had they’ll collide with time” (re do, modern baseball)

“laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes and perfect posture but youre barley scraping by” (the places you have come to fear the most, dashboard confessional)

“oh you never seem to notice my heart beats for you so ill open you up and make yours beat for me too” (mx sinister, idkhbtfm)

“and i went crazy again today looking for a strand to climb looking for a little hope” (paper bag, fiona apple)

“why am i always the bad guy when im just trying to help. this body means nothing to me. at all.” (this body means nothing to me, shrimp)

“id rather die than have to cry in front of you. fight or flight id rather lie than tell you im in love with you” (fight or flight, conan gray)

“im my own worst enemy… sometimes i dont wanna feel nothing on the inside” (complete collapse, sws)

“i dont want what you have i want to be you… my name is brutus but the people will call me rex” (brutus, the buttress)

he is probably my favorite character out of everything ive read or watched. his storyline is tragic and beautiful and im honestly obsessed with how its written out. an unknown martyr. the most poetic way to die.

Make sure to say happy birthday to the stars tonight for him! (or the sea 🤭)

[aanoia]

Also also what about mine by Taylor swift with Remus?!?

It's out finally! I don't know why this was so hard to make lmfao.

Mine

Remus Lupin x reader words; 2226 (222 has been showing up EVERYWHERE and it's funny bc i found out my life path number is 11/2) song; Mine by T Swizzle (Taylor Swift) Warnings; death? idek gonna be working on requests for a while tonight by the way so expect more coming out! I just got my own henna cones bc im obsessed with henna i think it's so gorgeous (i would go to an actual henna artist to get it done bc i SUCK (for now) and we love supporting small businesses, but the only time there's one in my city is during the fair so i decided to buy my own) anywho have fun, LOVE YOU LOVING-AND-DREAMING &lt;3

Oh-oh, oh-oh

Oh-oh, oh-oh

You were in college working part time waitin' tables

Left a small town, never looked back

“Mr. Lupin, would you like to explain what is so interesting about Miss L/n, or may we continue with no distractions?” Professor McGonagall asked and I looked up from my paper as Sirius let out little laughs. Remus turned red as he smiled sheepishly at McGonagall.

“You may continue.” He said quietly and she nodded, smirking slightly.

“Thank you for your permission.” She said sarcastically and continued. Remus glanced at me again and I looked back down to my paper, pretending not to notice.

I was a flight risk with a fear of falling

Wonderin' why we bother with love if it never lasts

“Siriu-”

Sirius put his finger on my lips, silencing me as Remus tried to pull his friend away. “No, listen up, missy. I understand your parents suck at being married, mine do too, but that’s no reason to keep rejecting my poor best friend here when you’re obviously in love with him. You will go out with him, and you will have a good time. Understood?” He demanded and I nodded, flashing Remus a small smile.

I say, "Can you believe it?"

As we're lying on the couch

The moment, I can see it

Yes, yes, I can see it now

“I’m so glad you said yes.” Remus said softly, placing a gentle kiss on the top of my head.

I giggled quietly, “Yes, I am too, Rem.” I sighed happily as the fire quietly crackled, shaking my head slightly at the whole reason we were officially together. Damn Sirius.

Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?

You put your arm around me for the first time

My laughter echoed throughout the courtyard as I ran from Remus as quickly as I could. My legs burned and they involuntarily slowed, allowing Remus to catch up to me and wrap his arms around me in a big hug, swinging us side to side as we both laughed loudly.

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

I slapped my hand over my mouth, trying to quiet my breathing as we hid from the caretaker. I looked at Remus with wide eyes and he just grinned at me, proud he finally got me to break a rule and go out past curfew. I shook my head, thankful my hand was covering the small smile gracing my lips.

Flash forward, and we're taking on the world together

And there's a drawer of my things at your place

“I’m home!” Remus called out loudly and I snorted, walking out of the kitchen and leaning against the doorframe with my arms crossed.

“Just move in already.” I suggested and he smiled and shook his head.

“Sure.” He agreed and my eyes widened, my arms dropped to my sides as my back straightened out.

“Really?” He nodded with a smile and I laughed happily, throwing my arms around him in a big hug. “Finally.”

You learn my secrets, and you figure out why I'm guarded

You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

“We are not your parents, Y/n.” Remus said, trying to grab ahold of my hand but I pulled away, tears stinging my eyes.

“You’re not, Rem, you obviously aren’t. But what if I am?” I whispered, a tear falling down my cheek.

He wiped the tear away and let his hand rest on my face, “What if you aren’t?” He challenged, kissing my forehead softly.

But we got bills to pay

We got nothing figured out

“No, only two. If we have three, one will feel left out.” I said and Remus shook his head.

“No, everything happens in trios. They’re much better than duos.”

\ “I don’t care. Two is better anyway, easier to take care of.”

“But thre-”

I glared at the man in front of me, “I don’t care. Two cats, that’s it.”

When it was hard to take

Yes, yes, this is what I thought about

“You got three, didn’t you?” I asked as I stood at the front door, already hearing the loud meowing from inside.

Remus smiled sheepishly and shrugged, “Perhaps.”

Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?

You put your arm around me for the first time

My hand flew to my mouth as waves crashed against the shore.

Remus knelt in front of me, a nervous smile on his face as James, Sirius, Lily, and the newest member of our family, Harry, stood around us. Sirius held tightly onto the big camera as he chanted yes.

“Remus- yes, oh my, yes!” I exclaimed, not giving him time to stand up and instead kneeled down to kiss him, forgetting about the ring as his back hit the sand, our laughter following as a loud click and flash filled our senses.

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

“Remember, no cake in my face.” I warned Remus as we were about to cut our wedding cake.

He smiled, “Of course.”

I winked to Sirius, who once again had a camera, and held in my laughs as the knife sunk into the cake. Instead of waiting for the piece to be fully cut, I grabbed a chunk of cake from the opposite side - the camera clicked and flashed - and smashed it into Remus’ face. He froze before wiping the cake from his eyes and looking at me with a familiar glint in his eyes.

“I’m gonna get you.”

Do you remember all the city lights on the water?

You saw me start to believe for the first time

The lights of the eiffel tower shined brightly onto the water as I watched with awe in my eyes. Remus looked at me fondly, love coursing through his veins as he gazed at his wife.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered and I looked at him, a blush spilling over my cheeks. Truthfully, he was the beautiful one. The way the lights highlighted his face and sparkled in his honey brown eyes entranced me as I smiled.

“You’re beautiful, as well.” 

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Oh-oh, oh

Remus narrowed his eyes at the girl Sirius brought to Christmas dinner. Usually, it didn’t matter to him what anyone was wearing, as long as they liked it it was fine. But wearing something that's easily comparable to what a stripper would wear to a dinner where you were informed about children being present, was a little far.

“Remus.” I gently grabbed his hand. “I know you don’t like her, I don’t either, but please be civil.”

“What if we prank her?” He whispered back.

I snorted, but my smile dropped as I realized he was being serious, “No, what?”

He nodded, “Please?”

I hesitated before sighing, “Fine. Let’s do it.”

I quietly walked back from the bathroom and froze as I saw the prank had worked. Sirius’ new girl was screeching loudly as her skin turned green and warts popped up randomly. I looked Remus in the eye as he held in his laughter. I winked at him and he smiled proudly, we did it. The best part, by far, was the loud giggling of baby Harry as he watched the witch begin to cry angrily. I picked up the boy and laughed with him, gently tickling his sides only making his laughs harder.

And I remember that fight, 2:30 a.m

As everything was slipping right out of our hands

“No, goddamnit, Y/n, it’s my life!” Remus yelled and I shook my head.

“No, Remus, it’s our life! It became our life when you married me!” I yelled back louder, briefly glancing at the clock and internally wincing. 2:26 AM the clock read. 

“I want to be a teacher, what’s so bad about that?” 

I threw my hands up, “Do you listen to me, Remus? I’ve told you over and over it’s fucking Hogwarts! I love that place but these past few years it’s gotten dangerous! I won’t let you teach there.” I explained as tears stung at my eyes.

“I don’t care! You don’t get an opinion on this!”

I ran out crying, and you followed me out into the street

I pushed the door open roughly and ran to the street, the rain beating down on me as I sobbed and fell to my knees. The water collected on the rough cement soaked my pajama pants, only making me cry harder at the small inconvenience. 

Braced myself for the goodbye

'Cause that's all I've ever known

The door slammed open again and I shut my eyes tightly, preparing myself for the inevitable. My body shook, from the cold or the crying, I really didn't know. Probably both. I waited for him to ask for the rings back and leave me there on my own.

I opened my eyes and watched Remus’ figure get closer as I struggled to take the rings off.

“What are you doing?” He asked, fear in his voice.

“I already know you want them back.”

Then you took me by surprise

You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

To my surprise, he wrapped his arms around me tightly, swaying side to side slightly like he always did.

“Never.” He whispered.

You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water

And every time I look at you, it's like the first time

“Y/n?” He asked above the rain.

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember when we were running around the courtyard because you were being a grumpy pants and wouldn’t hug me?”

I nodded and smiled fondly at the memory. “Yeah, and then you caught me by the lake and we almost fell in.” He pulled away and looked at me fondly.

I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter

She is the best thing that's ever been mine"

“That’s the moment I knew I was gonna marry you one day. That’s when I knew I loved you and never wanted to be away from you.”

I looked at him with a small smile, “Really?”

He nodded, “I swear on my beautiful wife.”

Hold on and make it last

Hold on, never turn back

I sat quietly on the train, reading my book as nostalgia filled my body. Remus sat next to me, his coat draped over his eyes so he could rest. I glanced at him and sighed, shaking my head and wondering how he convinced me to not only let him teach, but also have me co-teach Care of Magical Creatures with Hagrid.

“This is the only open compartment.” A voice said and I looked up from my book. My breath left my body as I saw a familiar boy walk through the compartment door, a boy and a girl following after him. 

The boy looked at me with a small smile. “I’m sorry. Is it alright if we sit in here? Everywhere else is full.” 

I nodded with a smile, “Of course.” He glanced at Remus’ sleeping figure and sat across from me.

“My names Harry Potter, and this is Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. Are you a new professor?” Harry asked and my heart clenched.

“Yes, I am. Professor L/n, pleasure to meet you three, I’ll be co-teaching with Hagrid, I’m sure you know him. This lump next to me is my husband, also a new professor. Professor Lupin, unfortunately he’s exhausted so he’s simply napping.”

Harry nodded in understanding, “Is he our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?”

“Yes, he is.”

(Hold on) you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

(Hold on) you are the best thing that's ever been mine

“Well, well, well.” I said, leaning against the doorframe as I watched Remus and Sirius hug. Sirius pulled away and looked at me with a smirk. “If it isn’t Sirius Black, back from Azkaban.”

“I’m innocent, Y/n/n. I swea-”

I cut him off with a big hug, winking at Remus who smiled at me gratefully. “I know you are, Sirius. I know.”

Do you believe it?

We're gonna make it now

“If we di-”

“We won’t.” Remus persisted.

“Rem. If we die, just know how much I love you, alright? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m so grateful to have you as my husband and my best friend.”

Remus sighed and nodded, “I love you too. But we won’t die, my love. We’ve got someone to live for.” I smiled as we both looked to our newborn son who gurgled quietly in his sleep.

“Yes, we have someone to live for.”

And I can see it (yeah, yeah)

I watched in horror as the group of Death Eater’s pointed their wands together. I grabbed Remus’ hand tightly as they muttered a powerful spell together, sending Remus and I flying back before the world went dark and Sirius’ voice filled my eyes.

“Finally.” He said.

“We’ve been waiting forever for you two to die.” A new voice said. James?

“You two gits, be quiet.” Lily. “Welcome home.”

I can see it now

taglist (if you want to be added just comment :));

@1lellykins @poetrypirate @loving-and-dreaming

[always-rolling-my-eyes]

i swear if we lose cirie because matt idek his real last name wants to cut her now because “he carried HER” i will never let the producers of this show rest. giving him a letter from a cast member he’s obsessed with when he’s based his whole game on what reilly would want and getting revenge for her is such interference it’s laughable. oooh im so mad i dont even care if saved by a twist if cirie goes i hope he wins he at least truly played his heart out even if he sucked at times

sorry that was so ranty at you for no reason but i thought you would be furious about this too!! especially after he promised her she was safe last night

also thoughts on 1989tv now that you’ve listened to all of it!!!!

I have already accepted the inevitable just to save myself to disappointment (lowkey still hoping for a miracle tho) 😂 and you never have to be sorry about ranting at me 💗

In fact, let me start ranting myself lol

I am so sick of hearing about Reilly. Why is a week 2 boot having such a significance at final five? The chokehold this woman has on these people it’s just plain weird and it’s very clear that Matt doesn’t get out much 😬 and I hate that he told Cirie he would never nominate her and then nominated her today but mostly I’m upset that Matt is just playing Jag’s game atp. How do these nominations help Matt when BB? They don’t. And Jag’s going to get Matt before Matt can get Jag and Matt is going to look like the fool that he is.

It’s pretty clear that we’re going to have either a terrible (Jag) or sup-par (Matt) winner.

Jag’s gameplay is just so awful. Last week was riddled with so many mistakes both socially and strategically literally all he has going for him is comp wins, and I hate that a Jag win will send a message that comp wins are the most important part of this game and that’s not how it should be. Also, how are you good at this game if you were voted out 10-0 unanimously during the pre-jury portion of the season 😭 If your game is dependent on twists and comp wins, you are not playing a good game. I also hate that a Jag win would give production proof that their twists don’t suck (they do) Okay, rant over 😂

And I LOVE 1989 (Taylor’s Version) 😍 1989 is a top 3 TS album for me so my expectations were high and she delivered on every front. With each re-recording I am always so shocked by how much better her vocals sound. She has obviously put in so much effort into improving her vocals, and her hard work has clearly paid off. I love all the vault tracks but I have to listen to them a few more times before I can solidify my favorite. Say Don’t Go is an early contender though and Slut! is nothing like I thought it would be but I love it 😂

How do you like the album?

[chiistarri]

i hate change id rather die

[deforest]

shit day of lifting, didn’t nail a single clean to satisfaction

my trainer told me to take a few days off to relax and recover bc he thinks i’ve been going too hard and am too stressed and obsessed in general but i know if i do i’m gonna be much worse off when i come back.

idk wtf is wrong with me. the last 4 weeks i’ve been missing hip contact and the triple extension altogether. i have no idea why. it started happening so suddenly and i can’t fix it bc idek why it started happening in the first place. i had really solid squat clean form before this losing streak started up. idk wtf went wrong. i know i had 2 weeks of bad sleep but i don’t think that’s fair to blame for the whole past month.

also i think i scared tf out of my trainer bc after we left the squat rack and went to benching and skullcrushers and stuff i was absolutely stone cold silent. he kept trying to ask me what i do for fun and i was just like. i don’t like to have fun.

then he started trying to make jokes to take my mind off how badly i did on the cleans but i refused to indulge him.

so it was just this tremendously self-hateful stoicism paired with him trying to make me feel better like a pitiful court jester lmfao absolute fucking disaster

[erenslovah]

DISLIKE?

Part One Part Two

Summary:You're a famous and great footballer,one of the greatest footballers you had a crush on turned out to be a complete ass,something will change maybe?

A/n:Nah cuz Idek,I started writing this at 5:55 am until 7:20 and I went to school and I just finished it,Idk if this gets attention I'm probably going to make a part 2

WARNINGS:Cursing,hate,trapping,blood,Jude being a complete ass😻😻

Jude and his family were watching TV,there you were,you were in an interview,Denise really liked you,and jude's father too.

Jude finds you annoying,his ex broke up with him cuz she was insicure because she knew Denise liked you alot and a few people shipped you with Jude,and he has developed hatred for you.

He keeps seeing edits of you,and videos everywhere,you were very kind hearted and nice,you were good looking too,like alot,people recently were going crazy for you,even his teammates and alot of his friends.

You were a footballer,a great footballer.

He keeps seeing you everywhere,his thoughts were cut off when the interviewer asked you what you thought about Jude Belligham.

'He's a great footballer,I like that he achieved great things at such a young age,I hope he can go on with his career and become more famous and a professional,he has a big potential'.

Denise turned to her son smiling at him 'Why do you hate her?She's so sweet,she's the one for you Jude'.

'No,she's annoying,she's probably doing that for attention,or to seem sweet'

'Jude' his mother glared at him,she turned to the TV when the interviewer asked you what you thought about Richarlison.

'I mean,he's my husband I don't know what y'all on'

Denise turned to Jude 'You better make a move'.

Jude was on the field,he was annoyed and nervous,why?YOU WERE COMING HERE.

You're so annoying and such a pick me,he couldn't understand why his teammates were exited to see you.After a few minutes you came and his teammates were so happy,they all greeted you happily,and they called his name and told him to come and greet you.

'Mate come here!' Phil souted.

Jude came even if he didn't want to,there you were,ugly as alwyas trying to have all the attention thinking that everyone wanted you.

He looked at you and you didn't spare him a glance.

'Hey I'm here' he said and you turned your head towards him 'Oh,hi I didn't see you sorry' you greeted him,and he only looked at you,and then he scoffed and went away.You were shocked,why was he acting like that?

The guys feeling the tension suggested you guys played for a while,they started to decide what you were gonna play,but your mind was on Jude,you didn't know what was wrong.

'Jude?' He lifted his head,scoffing when he saw you 'Are you okay?Something's wrong?Me and the guys are playing,you want to play with us?'

'No' he stood up and went away,he exited the field,you followed him.

'Did I say something wrong?What's wrong?'

'Can you shut the fuck up?For one minute,please shut your mouth,god you're so annoying,go annoy someone else,not me,I'm not blind and I won't feel for your plan to make everyone obsessed with you,literally shut the fuck up,you like whoring around so much,huh?'

You were still,not moving confused and on the verge of tears,you didn't know why he snapped like that on you.He noticed the tears in your eyes.

'Aww you're gonna cry now?Fucking crybaby' he said whilst pinning you to the wall behind you,you started crying,not being able to contain yourself,he looks down at you disgusted,he feels satisfied.He's proud but he feels kinda..Guilty?

'Stop crying' you started wiping the angry tears.

'You look even more ugly' you wanted to beat the shit out of him,but you just couldn't knowing that you'll feel bad about it later even if he deserves it.

He let's go of you after a while,you feel sick,meanwhile he goes back in the field.

'Mate did you see [name]?'

'She's inside doing something' he said,after a few minutes you came back,no signs of you crying visible on you face.

You guys started playing,Jude saw how well his teammates treated you,they never treated his ex like this.He's furious.When you catch the ball,he runs to you tackling you,you fell.Hard,blood started coming out of your nose and your mouth,his teammates rush to you

After taking care of you,his teammates confronted him,why was he acting like that?

'What the fuck mate?What's wrong?'

Jude didn't know what to say,he would've cried,if you didn't protect him.

'Guys he didn't mean to,it happens sometimes,it's football,I'm fine really'

The day ended and everyone was going back home,everyone was leaving and you took it as an opportunity to go talk to Jude.

'Jude?I'm sorry for what happened earlier,I hope you're fine'

You're so irritating.

'Shut up,I didn't need your help'

He grabbed you and trapped you between him and a locker.His face was so close to yours,you looked in his eyes.

Your chest was pressed against his.His mind running miles after the realization,he kinda liked the feeling of your chest against his.

You made eye contact,the tension reaching the moon.You try to squirm away,feeling flustered.

'Stay still' you stop moving,he's quite intimidating...

[alonetogether]

hi im back again to say the pros and cons of breathing is driving me actually crazy like idek the timeline or lore or whatever of who was writing more lyrics at the time between pete and patrick and even though its probably primarily about someone else/a different situation, its making me think about early days p2 and like the way they used to fight... like pete pushing patrick to sing because he saw his talent but also patrick not being comfortable in the spotlight as much as pete and also being way less willng to talk about his emotions AND petes history of playing with voice and writing from both his and patricks perspective... and how that can feel stifling and controlling when you arent used to (or dont want to be receptive to) emotional intimacy... and the thought of that whole era of peteandpatrick where they were already connected to each other so strongly and had such an intense relationship (no matter how u defne relationship) but without healthy communication or boundaries and just being so young and feeling out of your depth in an intense scene...... anyway can u tell im such a patrick girl (gender neutral)

FUCK YES THE BIG TEXT IS BACK so glad you’re a committed to the bit girlie (gn) i respect that so much, you are my type of person fr… also thought id join you in solidarity of big text for a paragraph :-3

but also god ok yeah i have a whole p2 playlist that is full of fob (and a couple soul punk) songs that are like… p2 to me and pros and cons is DEFINITELY on there. for tttyg it would have been patrick writing the lyrics, however like you said patrick going into the spotlight to sing via pete’s encouragement, 100% is reflected. and how that feels for him especially being so young in such an intense scene. (and to take what you said about pete’s writing, he started writing from my heart bside. which coincidentally features its not a side effect of the cocaine… which is such a less talked about certified peterick banger to me LMFAO…) like. patrick being that young he obvs has all this teenage angst to write out but also it’s hard at that age to differentiate like… hate from love from respect to disdain or whatever and that’s why us peterick girlies can see such, well, Peterick(TM) in even songs like pros and cons cause it’s patrick’s teen perspective here, he is gonna feel a lot and understand like none of it except that it’s A LOT. and finding your literal other half soulmate crytophasis partner at that age (though not knowing it ofc) must’ve been like. Dear God What The Fuck Is Going On I Am Feeling So Much So Strongly This Must Be Anger (babygirl no i just don’t think you were used to being so known so easily). also just the verses in pros and cons are so.. idk to me window imagery is sooo peterick to me ugh… also to go on my own little tangent but you said ur a patrick girlie (gn) so i think you’re fine with this BUT genuinely smfs is my fave era already i cannot lie, it’s like that obsession flame has been lit again really hot and really strong, they are each other’s fucking wife guys hype men. silly rabbits. whatever but it’s HEALTHY it’s so good. and you can tell patrick is so free right now. like… the other day i got so weepy over him literally like. he’s the clear frontman now it’s… god i cant continue or i’ll start bawling i cannot lie x smfs era is so much for us patrick and peterick girlies