#i am still trying and this was the best success i've had lately

[astrxealis]

i really want to write a song one day

[ew-selfish-art]

Dp x Dc AU: Bruce has a 'if you can't beat them, join them' mentality about the tabloids claiming he adopts too many kids- Developing foster homes that are paid for through the Wayne inheritance, personally vetted by the Bats, they're the leaders in the space for child health outcomes and family placement. Insert Danny.

---

Bruce has too much wealth, too many rumors and not enough reach into the abhorrent foster homes around Gotham to improve them. Tim ends up being the one to suggest it- He's the one who buys up their real estate for their safe houses after all- and Bruce is more than ready to pull the metaphorical trigger to get new clean welcoming spaces, Bat-background checked fosters and a new era of adoption in Gotham underway.

He's lobbied the state and the federal government for reforms of course, but this is a project he can micromanage. He spends time with every kid that comes through, talks with all the families that want to adopt and makes sure that these miniature homes are provided only the very best. Alfred personally hires all the staff, and with Barbara more than happy to help relocate the unhoused children she spots while they patrol, the project is a glowing success.

Occasionally, spots in their houses fill up, and those are the weeks were Cass takes on the Cowl of Batman- Bruce Wayne will personally invite a child in need to his home. He always has one of his kids present (they rotate on a pre-determined schedule) and he does his best to try and get them to understand that they deserve the world, have all the potential that anyone else has and can achieve a bright future. That he will personally aid them in their ambitions.

PR goes crazy for it of course, but Bruce and all of his children know its genuine. Almost too genuine, because a betting pool 'WILL THEY BE ADOPTED' regularly circulates between the siblings and the entire JL when someone spends time at the manor. And not just the black-haired, Blue-eyed kids get picked as favored outcomes- but obviously the running joke gets passed around.

It's a Thursday night when Bruce gets the call that the houses have once again filled up, and that there is a child in need of a home. The social worker (he knows her as Marsha and he has flowers planned to be sent on her birthday next week, like he does for all of his employees) (Say micromanaged one more time) explains that the kid is a bit cagey but has opened up with some humor. She explains that he has a few strange... mannerisms. She's not sure what to make of him, a non-gothamite for sure but something is, well, distinctly 'not from around here' about his energy.

Danny arrives at the house, meets Duke and Alfred, and by the time Bruce meets him at the dinner table it seems as though Marsha had it all wrong. This kid was laughing, he was teasing, he was totally playing along like he'd gone through nothing. Bruce is glad he's in high spirits but its just so... so different from all the other children he's taken in.

Bruce re-focuses on the conversation when Duke mentions something flashing, and its the first time that Danny goes quiet. Entirely still.

"...you noticed that?" Danny quietly asks, a bit of disbelief in his tone.

"You don't have a flashlight on or something do you? It was super bright whatever it is that you had in your hand a second ago?" Duke tries to sound chill but he's looking very much not chill. Bruce saw nothing, and that puts him further on edge.

"Look... I uh, I've been though... I've been through a lot lately. And the last lab I was in kind of, messed with me. I'm normally much better at dealing with it all, I promise." Danny sounds nervous, and the room seems to chill.

"Ah shoot, sorry." Danny notices something and frantically apologizes.

"Sorry for what Danny? You've done nothing wrong but I am worried about you- You said you were in a lab?" Bruce is desperately trying to calm him down while not slipping into Batman interrogation mode.

"Uh, yeah, like a lot of labs. It should get warmer in a second, its just cause I startled, I promise."

"You're a meta." Duke speaks softly and with hope in his voice- Danny is looking between them with wide eyes filled with fear.

"I mean I don't technically have the gene-"

"Danny, have you told any of your case workers where you were? Do any authorities know what you've been through?" Bruce needs to know, desperately, that who ever gave this young boy super powers is brought to justice. Danny goes quiet.

"I'm really sorry." He says softly, but he doesn't leave them.

Duke and Bruce try to ask a few more questions but the silence that meets them declares the conversation over, even with Duke admitting he himself is a meta. Danny didn't even look up from his plate. They watch a movie after dinner, and Danny seems to get back to the smile-y happy guy he had been before dinner.

Each of the bat-fam have their own interactions with Danny- And even if they're getting along amazingly, Danny won't open up. He doesn't open up to his provided therapist. Doesn't talk to Alfred. No one knows what's up.

So when Marsha calls Bruce back explaining they now have a spot for Danny and he can move out of the Manor... Bruce replies that he'd like to get started on Adoption paperwork, so long as Danny is fine with it.

---

Turns out, Danny is fine with it. he's both the newest Wayne and their newest case. (And godamnit, his new family is going to avenge him. If only he'd let them try.)

Danny figures out that Duke= Signal early on because of that dinner, and if he's going to keep his parents out of jail, he needs to be as close to the investigation as possible. He knows that he shouldn't protect the Fentons, but he feels the upset in his core at the thought of letting them befall any harm. He has to protect them. Has to protect Jazz and her hiding spot as a mole within their lab. Has to.

Even if it meant lying to his new family who loves him, and who he loves in equal return. Even if it means lying to The Bats.

---

Tabloids go crazy about the black-haired blue-eyed thing of course, but no poll was ever taken by the batfam or the JL who know the whole story.

[raysrays]

Crimson Guardian Part2 NSFW

Please check out Part One

Kyojuro Rengoku x Wife! Reader

18+ MDNI!🚫

CW: NSFW Content, minor angst, controlling/manipulating behavior, fluff-ish.

Y/N POV

Scenario: Once you agree to Kyojuro's request, you gather with Kagaya and the other Hashira to share your decision to retire early. But as you spend time with Kyojuro, you start noticing some changes in his behavior. You can't help but wonder, did you make a big mistake? He's your husband, after all. Surely, he wouldn't try to control or manipulate you. Maybe he's just worried about your safety and wants the best for you, right?

- Two Endings

A month had passed since I laid down my sword for the last time. I've spent my time at the Rengoku Estate as I had anticipated, assisting Senjuro with chores and cooking, while striving to earn Shinjuro's favor.

However, it all felt sluggish my days stretched out, feeling so unproductive.

Kyojuro was called on a mission far away, and he's been gone for almost two weeks now. I find myself overcome with loneliness, feeling hollow inside.

When I wasn't busy helping Senjuro, I often took walks and started getting into reading, though lately, I've found myself drawn to books on swordsmanship and battle techniques. It might seem pointless now, but it's all I have to occupy my mind.

Many times, I caught myself pacing around the estate, practicing fighting stances or swinging an imaginary sword, earning some strange looks from anyone nearby.

But I couldn't bring myself to share any of this with Kyojuro. I wanted him to believe I had moved on from being a demon slayer. Instead, I painted a picture of focusing on myself and preparing for the prospect of starting a family.

I've been writing to him almost every day since he left, keeping him updated on what's been happening back home and just checking in on him.

He says his mission has been successful so far, and he should be home very soon, which is good news. It's difficult to fully embrace retirement when the person you did it for isn't even here to enjoy it with you.

.

.

Today has been particularly slow. All I've done is help water the plants outside and dive deeper into my books. Shinjuro has been in his room, drinking, while Senjuro has been practicing his writing inside. And here I am, sitting under this same tree, reading the same book on breathing techniques for the past three hours...

However, my entire mood shifted the moment I heard the cawing of a crow announcing Kyojuro's return from his mission. He was finally home.

I could feel the excitement as I watched him walk through the gates of the estate, his big, bright eyes and fiery hair a welcome sight.

It didn't take long for him to spot me, as he quickly ran up and grabbed me, spinning me around in his arms.

"I've missed you so much, my little flame!" His booming voice was a comforting sound to hear in this moment.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck as he held me.

"I missed you so much, Kyo." It didn't take long for that hollow feeling I had earlier to finally disappear.

After he finally put me down, he pulled away to get a better look at me, scanning me up and down with his usual happy smile.

"You look so beautiful, my dear. Retirement seems to be treating you well already!"

"Oh, do you really think so?"

"Of course, sunflower. It's good to finally see you dressed casually and enjoying yourself at home. One of the main reasons my mission was such a success was because I wasn't worried about you. I knew you would be here waiting for me when I returned. I knew you would be safe."

I almost felt guilty. Since he left, I've been so bored out of my mind, stuck here at the estate, but if it’s really helping by keeping his mind at ease while he’s away I guess I don’t mind.

"How are you doing, my love? I know writing in letters can only reveal so much. Are you really okay?"

His voice softened, and his smile grew gentler. My heart raced at the sound. No matter how much time passed, I was still as in love and attracted to Kyojuro as I was the first time we met.

"Yes, I'm doing great. Senjuro and I have been quite productive lately. We even discussed setting up a small vegetable garden in the yard to reduce our trips to the village market." I forced a happy smile onto my face.

"That's wonderful news! I'm so happy you're finally making this old place your own." He then pulled me into another hug, burying me in his chest.

I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth—that I was bored and missed the core and all my comrades and friends. They had all become so busy with work that I went from seeing them every day to never at all, so quickly.

As I relaxed into his embrace, I felt his body tense slightly. He pulled away from me slowly, his expression puzzled.

"Sunflower... what is it you're reading?"

I glanced behind me to see my book still lying on the ground, its cover exposed. It was just a book, surely not that significant.

"Oh, that's just an old breathing technique book I found in the study room. I thought it looked the most interesting out of the available options."

He looked at me for a moment, then took my hands in his, holding them tightly.

"My love, if you had told me you wanted to read, I would have gladly bought you as many books as you wanted. You don't need to waste your time sitting and reading about attacks and breathing techniques anymore." His voice was filled with concern.

Little did he know, I chose this book specifically to occupy my mind. If I couldn't fight anymore, the least I could do was read about it.

"That's sweet of you, Kyo, but honestly, I don't mind."

His smile returned somewhat, and he moved his hands to hold my shoulders, gently leading me back to the main part of the estate.

"Let's get you inside, my love. I'll tell you all about my mission!"

I allowed him to guide me back, passing Senjuro on the way.

"Go ahead, little flame. I need to have a word with Senjuro."

I observe as he starts walking toward his younger brother; they engage in conversation, and I begin to make my way indoors.

Despite my initial intention to leave, a strange hesitation washes over me. I linger by the doorframe, eavesdropping on their discussion.

Senjuro's voice reaches me first. "Welcome home, brother. How was your mission?"

"It went smoothly. I'm relieved to be back," he responds, pausing briefly.

"Senjuro, how's Y/N? Have you noticed anything unusual about her lately?" My ears perk up at the mention of my name.

"Y/N? She seems fine, I suppose. She's been quite helpful with chores around here," Senjuro replies.

"I see. Have you noticed her reading more?" he probes further.

"I think so. Though I'm not sure what she's been reading," Senjuro admits.

"I see. Please, keep an eye on her for me, Senjuro. I'm concerned," Kyojuro says, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Concerned about her reading?" Senjuro's confusion is evident.

"No, just in general."

With that, I turned away from the door, deciding it was best to stop listening in.

Why would Kyojuro worry about me? I'm safe at home, just like he wanted. Wasn't that the whole point of being here? To ease his mind?

I can feel a mix of frustration brewing inside me, and I'm not sure if it's aimed at Kyojuro or myself. I've always prided myself on my swordsmanship, setting high goals and pushing myself hard to protect others and find purpose.

But now, I can't even enjoy reading a book about what I love without making my husband worry.

I step into the kitchen, ready to get a head start on preparing dinner. Gathering the cooking utensils and spices, I realize all that's left is to chop some of the vegetables.

As I rinse them off, I notice we're short on a few key ingredients.

My garden plans with Senjuro would have been perfect right now. Looks like I'll have to make another trip to the market.

Letting out a small sigh, I tidy up and head towards the door to slip on my shoes. Honestly, I could use some fresh air. I feel guilty leaving knowing Kyojuro just got here, but I think he’d much rather dinner be super good than complain about me stepping out.

I had a stranger Lingering feeling. There's something about his smile that feels off, like there's a hidden pressure behind it. Why?

As I'm slipping on my shoes, I sense someone standing over me.

"Where are you off to, sunflower?" Kyojuro inquires.

"Just getting a head start on dinner and realized we're missing a few things. I was about to run to the market," I reply.

"Hurry back to me, my love. You know I don't like it when you're away." His warm smile could melt anyone's heart.

He plants a kiss on my cheek before heading back into the other room.

As much as I adore him and miss him, I need just a moment alone to think right now.

As I make my way to the village, I pick up some vegetables, meat, and a few other things we need for the estate. On my way back, I spot Tengen and his wives. They seem to notice me too, especially Makio, who starts waving enthusiastically in my direction.

I walk over to them, feeling happy to finally see some familiar faces. It feels like it's been ages since we last caught up.

“Y/N, it's good to see you," Tengen greets warmly.

“How have you been? We haven’t seen you in forever!” Makio cries out excitedly.

"I've been well, how are all of you?"

"We've been doing just great," he responds.

"How's, uh, retirement?" Hina asks with a half smile.

"Oh, retirement has been... great," I reply, attempting to sound convincing, though I'm not entirely sure I believe it myself.

Tengen lets out a sarcastic laugh. "Sorry, but it's just so hard to believe. You had one of the flashiest breathing styles and trained almost every day, only to retire before becoming a Hashira. I just always thought you were too stubborn to quit so early.”

Hina shoots him a quick glare.

But it's all true; Tengen and his wives have been around since before the beginning of my and Kyojuro’s relationship, training with us, going on missions, and even just hanging out together casually.

They exchange silent glances for a moment and I notice Tengen’s expression change into a more serious one.

"Y/N, Kyojuro is one of my closest friends, and it's really not my place, but... do you think maybe you decided all that just a tad too quickly?" Tengen sounds more sincere this time.

"I mean, you were on your way to becoming a Hashira yourself," Suma adds.

Taking a deep breath, I realize they're right, but I already knew that. I wasn’t the one they should be lecturing in this scenario. I never wanted to retire; I just wanted to make Kyojuro happy.

"I promise. This is a decision I've made. I want to settle down and start a family with Kyo. I wouldn’t want to risk going out on a mission and dying before having that opportunity," I assert.

Though they still seem unconvinced, Tengen puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“Kyojuro's a lucky man to have someone who cares about him so much. However, I think you should stay in tune with your training for now.”

“You are still so young, Y/N! It’s always possible that once you have children, you could potentially want to come out of retirement. Maybe be a trainer for young slayers!” Makio adds with a hopeful tone.

Suddenly, my spirits lift. They were right. Just because I retire now doesn’t mean I can’t come out of retirement in a few years. As long as I keep training at home, I should be fine!

“I suppose you are all right. I will definitely keep training. I’m sure Kyo will think that’s a great idea.”

“That’s the spirit. I’m glad we got to run into you,” Tengen says with his usual smile.

“I’m glad I got to see all of you. I promise I’ll try to make an effort to come around more.”

“That sounds perfect,” Hina exclaimed.

After we exchange our goodbyes, I watch them walk off together, smiling and talking.

A wave of realization and relief washes over me. Maybe retirement didn’t have to be as bad as I was making it out to be.

.

.

Upon finally arriving back at the estate, I walked up to the entrance with a smile on my face.

I recalled there was a book in the study that taught some solo hand-to-hand combat techniques, perfect for practicing alone. I made a mental note to pick it up once I returned and start reading it after dinner.

As I entered, Senjuro greeted me with a warm smile.

“Welcome back, Y/N. I’ll finish up dinner since you went out of your way to get everything,” he offered kindly.

“Oh, you don’t have to do all that. I don’t mind,” I replied.

“I insist. You haven’t seen my brother for a while now, and I think he could use your company,” he chuckled nervously.

I hesitated for a second.

“Okay, only if you're sure,” I said, handing over the basket of food and supplies I had bought from the market.

He headed off to the kitchen, leaving me in the entryway, so I decided to make my way to our bedroom, shared by Kyojuro and me.

As I entered, I noticed he had changed out of his uniform into his more casual attire.

He looked at me with a kind smile on his face.

“I see you made it back safely,” he said, walking over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

He buried his face into the side of my neck, kissing it softly.

I felt myself shiver at his touch. He seemed so gentle and loving right now. I had truly missed him so much these past few weeks.

I gently ran my fingers through his fiery hair as I spoke, "I ran into Tengen and his wives at the market."

He pulled away slightly to look at me, his arms still wrapped around my waist.

"Really? Were they happy to see you?" he asked with a big smile.

"Yes, they were. We hadn't realized it had been so long since we all saw each other."

Kyojuro appeared to be deep in thought. "I suppose you're right. It has been a while since all of us got together. I should arrange for us to have dinner sometime!" he exclaimed happily.

I couldn't help but smile. "Yes, I think that would be lovely."

"What else did you all talk about? You were gone for quite some time," he inquired.

I debated telling him about their suggestion that I should consider keeping up with training and possibly coming out of retirement, but ultimately decided against it.

"Tengen was just telling me about a mission he had gone on recently. Nothing too crazy," I replied.

Kyojuro seemed satisfied with this answer. Why would I lie? I've never had any reason to lie to him before.

"That's great, sunflower. I'm happy you finally got to see some company. You seem so happy!" he remarked, his affection evident in his tone.

We lingered in each other's embrace for a few more moments until Senjuro's voice rang out, announcing that dinner was ready.

Hand in hand, we made our way to the table. Upon arrival, we found Senjuro had already set the table and prepared everything. Surprisingly, Shinjuro was already seated, wearing his usual drunken scowl, but he remained mostly silent.

As we ate, Kyojuro attempted to share details about his recent mission with his father, but received only silence and grunts in response. Despite years of trying, it seemed Kyojuro still sought his father's approval.

It felt kind of pointless to expect anything from Shinjuro. Even though I ended up spending more time with him than with Kyojuro lately, I just kept my distance. Honestly, I think he might even appreciate it.

After a few minutes of listening to Kyojuro, Shinjuro got up and was the first to leave the table, retreating to his room.

Though Kyojuro seemed disappointed, he maintained his neutral smile as he also began to wrap up his meal.

Once we had all finished eating, I stood up to collect the dishes for washing and putting away. However, Senjuro insisted on taking care of everything himself.

Feeling a bit defeated, I abandoned the task and decided to head to the study to grab that training book.

However, upon arrival, I was met with an unsettling sight. All the books were gone, every shelf completely empty...

As I made my way back to my room, confusion swirled within me like never before.

Upon entering, I found Kyojuro already preparing for sleep. His eyes brightened at the sight of me, and he gestured for me to join him under the covers of the futon.

Crawling in beside him, he enveloped me in his arms, pulling me close. With my head against his chest, I felt a sense of comfort wash over me.

"Kyojuro," I speak up.

"What is it, little flame?" He asks planting a kiss on the top of my head.

"What happened to all the books in the study?"

I sense a slight tension in his body at the question.

"I'm not sure, my love. Perhaps father had them moved. I'll make sure to get you some new books soon," he reassures me.

I stay silent, convinced by his explanation. What other reason could there be? Surely, Kyojuro doesn't attach much importance to old books collecting dust for years.

As I lay nestled in Kyo's arms, I feel the weight of exhaustion settling in. His breathing slows, It won't be long before sleep overtakes us both.

.

.

A week had passed, and the books still hadn't reappeared. I'd given up on getting a response out of Shinjuro. And it seemed that Senjuro wasn't even aware of their disappearance, which was even stranger.

So here I was again, under the same tree, rereading the same book for the third time.

Despite this, it was a beautiful day. The sky was bright and the air was refreshing. It would have been a shame not to enjoy it.

With Kyojuro gone early this morning for a hashira meeting, it's just me now, left to ponder my thoughts. I can't help but recall what Tengen and his wives said about keeping up with training.

Honestly, with my doting husband always around, their advice slipped my mind. But now, with some time to myself, I figure it's a good opportunity to get some practice in.

I don't have the exact combat training books I'd like, but I'll make do with what I remember from my days in the core.

Grabbing a wooden sword that Kyojuro and Senjuro sometimes use.

My target? A nearby tree. I start off slow, practicing basic strikes and focusing on my footwork. It's a few hours of intense concentration, but it feels amazing. I didn't realize how much I missed this, the feeling of swinging a sword, the rush of adrenaline with each move. It's like finding a piece of myself I forgot was missing.

My excitement fades as I notice a looming shadow, revealing Kyojuro standing there. Still in his uniform, he must have just returned from the meeting. His expression is stern, arms crossed in clear disapproval.

"What are you doing, Y/N?" His voice is cold, sending a shiver down my spine.

"I was just... training a bit," I reply nervously.

"Training? Training for what?" He begins to approach me, his demeanor serious.

For some reason, I instinctively start to back up as he approaches me. Before I know it, my back is against the tree I was just practicing on.

He closes the distance between us, his face inches from mine. This side of Kyojuro is unfamiliar to me; he appears downright angry.

"Why are you doing this, sunflower? You're inactive in the core, retired. There's absolutely no reason for you to pick up a sword and train again," his voice is harsh.

"I just thought that maybe if I stayed in shape and continued training a bit, perhaps in the future I could come out of retirement. Maybe even help train new slayers coming out of final selection," I suggest.

- Ending One (Positive fluff)

He gazes at me, his expression filled with confusion. “Sunflower, why would you want that? I thought the whole point of you wanting to retire was to be at home with me, to start a family together.”

Taking a deep breath, I realize I need to be honest and ip front with him now. Kyojuro is my husband, and if he truly loves me, he'll understand.

Slowly, I reach out and take his hand, bringing it up to rest against my chest.

“Kyojuro, I love you more than anything, and I want to start a family and be with you more than anything. But I also have to pursue the things that make me happy. Fighting alongside you and our friends has always been one of those things,” I explain, hoping he'll see my perspective.

His eyes soften, and I can tell he feels guilty for not considering my happiness more deeply.

"I'm still scared, Y/N. I'm scared of losing the love of my life, my wife. If you continue being a demon slayer, there will be times when I won't be able to protect you. Times when you'll be in situations where you'll have to fight to the death to defend yourself," he admits, his voice filled with worry.

He's right. There will be moments when I'll have to risk my life for the sake of others. But that's exactly why I signed up for this. That's what I want to do, with him by my side.

Gently, I lift his hand to my lips and place a kiss on his knuckles, mirroring the affection he always shows me.

"I'll fight until my last breath for a life without demons, so that hopefully someday us and our children can live the life we deserve," I declare softly.

He removes his hand from mine placing is on my cheek. His gaze loving and caring now.

“You never cease to set my heart ablaze little flame. You always make me remember that powerful spirit I fell in love with. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for being so selfish.”

It makes me feel better that he also acknowledges how he’s been acting lately. It makes me feel more validated that I wasn’t completely going crazy. And still I forgive him.

I know Kyojuro’s heart, I know how pure and kind it is, and I know he would never do anything to harm me or keep me alway from something I’m so passionate about.

He pulls me into his embrace wrapping his arms protectively around me.

“I want you to be happy my love, it was wrong of me to try and control someone as amazing as you. I will do everything I can to support and protect you. Wether it’s here at home, or out on the battle field.”

His words melt my heart.

He removes his hand from mine, placing it gently on my cheek. His gaze softens, filled with love and care.

"You never fail to ignite my heart, little flame. You always remind me of the powerful spirit I fell in love with. I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for being so selfish," he confesses.

His acknowledgment of his recent behavior brings me some comfort. It validates my feelings and assures me that I'm not imagining things. And yet, I find it in my heart to forgive him.

I know Kyojuro's heart, its purity and kindness. I trust that he would never intentionally harm me or stand in the way of my passions.

Pulling me into his embrace, he wraps his arms protectively around me.

"I want nothing more than your happiness, my love. It was wrong of me to try to control someone as incredible as you. I'll do everything in my power to support and protect you, whether it's here at home or out on the battlefield," he promises.

This was the man I fell in love with, the man I vowed to spend my dying days with. I’m certain that I made the right decision.

.

.

.

- Ending Two (Angsty Smut)

He shakes his head. "No. No way. If you're going to stay retired, then you need to stay retired. That was the deal. I won't risk losing you. You're far too precious to me." His tone is softer now, but still firm.

"But why can't I just practice for a bit?"

"Because this isn't what you want. You don't actually want this. It's not your passion. This is only because of your past life." He's more serious than ever.

"What's so wrong with me wanting to stay sharp?"

"You're supposed to be focusing on your future and your new life with me! And you can't do that if you keep holding onto your past. It's not a part of who you are anymore."

His words strike me. Was it so bad that I wanted to practice and maybe eventually come back?

"This is the last thing we're going to discuss. As a Hashira, I have the authority to confiscate your weapon, so hand it over. From this point forward, I will not tolerate you engaging in anything remotely related to demon slaying."

I reluctantly hand over my wooden sword. My heart drops, and tears begin to well up in my eyes.

"Y/N. I'm sorry, my love, but this is for the best. It's only because I love you." His voice softens, his expression more forgiving.

I'm filled with anger. Why is he acting like this? Why doesn't he want to fight alongside me anymore? Balancing our relationship and our profession is tough, but plenty of people make it work.

Why does he seem to think it's impossible for me to fight? I am strong. I've always been strong.

His thumb brushes away a tear from my eye as I lift my head to look at him.

This time, his expression changes.

He leans in close to my ear and whispers, "If you won't listen to me, I'll just have to give you a reason to stay off your feet."

A shiver runs down my spine as his lips meet mine, his hands holding my hips firmly in place.

Before I know it, he's lifting me over his shoulder and carrying me back into the estate.

“Kyo, put me down! Let's just talk!” I protest, trying to wriggle out of his grasp.

He takes me to our bedroom and pins me down on the futon.

“There’s nothing more to say, sunflower. If I can't keep you from fighting anymore, maybe having a child will,” he says, his voice tinged with desire.

I open my mouth to speak, but his lips on mine cut me off. His tongue pushes its way inside, making its way around my mouth.

I try to pull away, but his hands hold my head in place, and the taste of his mouth is overwhelming.

When he finally pulls away, I'm breathless.

He leans in, kissing and biting at my neck. His hands move down my body, grabbing and squeezing my breasts and my waist.

I let out a small whimper as he sucks and bites at my skin.

Suddenly, I feel his fingers brush against my entrance through my clothes.

He pulls away to look at me. "Already so wet for me, and we've barely done anything. Were you doing all of this to make me angry on purpose?”

My face burns with embarrassment, but I can't help but crave his touch.

He grabs my hands and pins them above my head, staring into my eyes with a mischievous smile.

"You want this, don't you, sunflower?" He asks as his free hand caresses my face.

I nod desperately, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Then beg for it," he commands, his loving voice contested his actions.

"Please, Kyo, please I need it. I need you."

He releases his grip on my wrists and moves to undo his pants.

"There’s my little flame."

He lines himself up with my entrance, slowly pushing himself inside.

I try not to tense, feeling my walls stretch to accommodate him.

He lets out a low groan, his warm breath tickling my ear.

He waits for a moment before beginning to thrust into me, each movement deeper than the last.

I gasp and moan beneath him, gripping his shoulders.

He lets out a groan as he bottoms out.

"Mine," he whispers before placing a kiss on my forehead.

I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

He begins to move again, thrusting harder and faster. I'm filled with so much pleasure that I'm seeing stars.

I can feel myself getting closer to the edge, but just before I can finish, he stops.

"Kyo, please, I need it." I whine.

"Not yet, my love.” he replies, his voice heavy with lust.

He pulls out of me, leaving me feeling empty and unsatisfied.

He flips me over and pushes my head into the pillow, my ass now in the air.

"Don't worry, little flame, I'm not finished with you just yet."

He enters me again, gripping my hips tightly as he pounds into me from behind.

"I can't wait to have you pregnant. You're going to look so beautiful."

He reaches a hand around to rub my clit, bringing me even closer to my peak.

I try to hold back my moans and he touches me. His words only make me feel hotter.

I can feel myself getting closer once again, and he seems to notice as well.

"Do you want to finish, my love?"

"Yes, yes please," I beg.

He increases the speed of his thrusts, hitting all the right spots inside of me.

I can feel myself approaching the edge again, and he continues to push me towards it.

"I'm going to fill you up, my love. Make you mine.”

His thrusts grow more erratic as he reaches his peak, releasing deep inside of me.

I collapse onto the futon , completely exhausted.

Kyojuro rolls off me and lays beside me, pulling me into his chest. I cuddled into him.

"We're going to be so happy, Y/N. Just you, me, and our child. Everything is going to be perfect," he reassures me, running his fingers through my hair.

I'm too tired to respond, so I just listen to the sound of his heartbeat and his breathing.

"I love you, sunflower. No matter what, you're mine.”

Sorry this one took me so long to get out, I hope you all enjoyed it! I’d love to hear your feedback!

[gorgeouslypink]

hey pink! I'm so happy, I've finally reached the void state and manifested and it's all thanks to you and @thedoona.

before I get into it, I was able to get into the void state for a few seconds prior to my success so that really boosted my confidence and faith.

my method:

i decided upon the lucid dreaming method. it just seemed the best way. but first i needed to learn to lucid dream. the void community loves fild and ssild but if i tried to do fild or something it would never work so i had to do other things.

#1: reality checks every hour

#2: go to sleep affirming i will get a lucid dream and enter the void

#3: wake up in the 4.5 hours afterwards, rmbr my dream and type it out on my phone notes, then stay up for a bit and then go back to sleep repeating the same affirmation

during the day, I did a meditation a day. I read that maintaining awareness in meditation helps you become aware in your dream and tbh I'm not the best meditator but I put it on my to do list everyday to meditate and I chose a video and would try it.

also I listened to subliminals, I used that apold subconcious file from your challenge and listened to these 3 subs for 30 minutes:

https://youtu.be/HMmycC8BRfk?si=AC29Y8uKna0qkaO4

https://youtu.be/uGLHAp1dDx4?si=K_2gcln0vZ4cSA1X

https://youtu.be/O7rhQq3YGME?si=b-yjxX8sm7FDbWVH

And this sub for 1-2 hour:

https://youtu.be/OlHUujYD9wI?si=6KK8jsyeQ_0H9_t6

i did this since Jan 27th and last night, not only did I get lucid dream but also I first just affirmed a bunch of stuff like I am going to enter the void, the void is easy, I am guaranteed to enter the void because I heard sometimes when people close their eyes during lucid dream they end up waking up so I was scared that happen to me so I affirmed for a bit and then I closed.my eyes and began meditating and almost instantly like in maybe 10 to 20 seconds I was in the void. I knew it because it was expansive and still and then I just affirmed for my void list to.come true and when I awoke this morning, I had everything.

I knew from the second I woke up because I have pretty bad body acne and I manifested all of that away. I manifested df and db and it feels so weird rn but ik I'll get used to it. I also manifested good grades, good friends, etc

I really wanted to thank you and thedoona and I'm so excited to go be living my dream life now!! Bye bye pink I will always remember and treasure you ❤️

Sorry for late response and congratulations love!! Have fun living your dream life, you deserve it! 💖

[trynafindbarbiee]

VOID SUCCESS STORY <3

TW : Abusive family, bullying, suicide attempts!

Before I go straight into my success story I wanna THANKYOU from the bottom of my heart you are my fairy Angel and I love you more than anyone else bestiee :)

I'm sharing this here so everyone can see this

It's been so long since I've joined loa community but I always failed to manifest Consciously , I would constantly look for the 3D to change and I literally wasted years to learn how to manifest when it's the most easiest thing in the whole universe. Then luckly I came to know about the void state but I kept on failing I was unhealthy obsessed with the void with this my mental health became even worse I started to feel like not living anymore. I felt anxious very often, then one day I decided to end my life because things were getting terrible everyday. I attempted suicide and it failed and then the very first thing someone told me after this was "it failed because you deserve to live, you deserves the best, you deserves the world" And guess who it was! SHE WAS MY FAIRY ANGEL 🥺 YOU! MY BESTIEE <3 I'm very thankful to have a friend like you

What I've learnt over time is that these feelings are definitely not permanent and this too shall pass YES it hurts and survival feels difficult but the hope I got from my bestie (Barbie) throughout my recovery process is just unmatched, unexplainable especially for someone like me who keeps thinking that things will never get better. At the same time I was living in a abusive household I was being hated by my parents, friends, neighbours And one day IT'S nowhere near as bad as what you'll get, but my mom had a small amount of narcissist in her. SHE HELD MY HAND OVER A GAS STOVE because as an 15 year old I wrote something that she disagreed with in my journal. I experienced violence with my mother and father beating each other. Seeing drugs being used and knowing that there was something bad and wrong. I also seen my mother having sex with other men and once heard her having sex and I thought she was being beaten.As I got older, I began questioning her medieval methods. Whenever I brought it up, She would always say that she did it for my own good, or that she was showing me how the real world was like. As a baby, I was ferberized. I was sent to a daycare from the moment I could walk. My mother would often punch and slap me in the face, and so I developed a reflex where I put my hands near my head in defense if anyone raises their hands. I have been bullied and ridiculed.

I have overconsumed info to a point where I even started doubting bloggers and loa but then I met my fairy Angel, my life, my bestieeeee 🥺💗 Everyone, let me tell you all of you one thing that she's a real life Angel I swear! She was there with me when my own family was against me, she helped me through my toughest times, she never let me down, she took care of me like a big sister. I'M BLESSED TO HAVE A FREIND LIKE YOU CUTIE PIE <3! we started journey together and she entered the void but I was still struggling. When she messaged me telling that she did it I literally jumped out of my bed and cried, cried and cried I WAS SO HAPPY FOR HER. I got superrrr motivated after that so I took her advice and tried to enter the void once more but I still failed, I didn't enterbut she kept me motivated . She showed me the things and her mansion that she manifested so that I don't doubt void anymore and I'm so grateful to you for that . She told me to try to wake up in the void instead of entering I again listened her and tried and guess what! SHAMEFULLY I again failed , I was giving my power to a method, I didn't realize how powerful I AM.

After all the failed attempts I called Barbie and talked to her for 4 hours straight I told her all the things that were going on in my life and I cried a lot and even Barbie got emotional too and she cried for me I can't forget that day ever 🙂 she told me "Don't worry honey! It's never too late, I'll enter void for you and after that you will be free of all this bullshit" THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY LIKE I WAS NOT EXPECTING THISSSSSSS :) she already did so much for me and still she wanted to help me out, this is why I call you my Fairy Angel <3

And next day she did enter for me and affirmed that I'll wake up in the void but in the morning nothing happened I realized that I didn't woke up there I GOT SO DISCOURAGED and I told this to her and she said that I have to assume that I'll wake up in the void unless it will not work 🙁 I literally Slapped myself for doing such a stupid thing Not assuming that I'll wake up in the void :( But she again entered for me and again affirmed for me Like? How can someone be so nice?

AND THAT NIGHT I DID WOKE UP IN THE VOID 😩💗 I felt so relaxed there, I was in a whole dark space I manifested everything that I wrote in my journal , I was beyond happy that morning when I woke up in my dream apartment the first thing I did after seeing myself in my dream house was that I messaged barbie that WE DID IT 🥺 !!

Y'all are very lucky to have my bestie here , I love you honey, ily so much <3 God literally sent you for me

Sending you so much love, hugs and wet kisses 🤭

~ your beloved 🎀

The most beautiful SUCCESS STORY I ever saw !

Thankyou bub for sharing your story here too ♡

My eyes got wet while I was reading this :) like you are so sweet and strong! ily too and I always will and no need to thank me..Your life was exactly like mine bef I entered the void , I also experienced all this bullshit so I could understand your situation that's why I helped you so, no need to thank me 💗 You should thank yourself bc everytime u felt like ending ur life , everytime u felt like giving up YOU made it through... so thank youself honey ! <3 I'M SO PROUD YOU MAHH BESTIEEE

You also played a vital role in my journey !

I've been through a lot. I have been through things that I didn't even told u . I have been through things that I haven't told anyone . Because of the things that I've been through, I used have an EXTREMELY hard time trusting people. I used to overthink abt how to talk to you and share my feelings without making you feel bad or you thinking I'm dramatic. I don't know how to talk to you without it being awkward but not only u listened me but motivated me also even when u r going through the toughest time in ur life.... Yes I have so many friends But you r someone special , I love you differently than I love my any other friend. Yes we've been through hell. And it's been insane. But still we are together! ily ♡

Idk how do I put my happiness into words :) I'M JUST SO PROUD OF YOU

Enjoy ur life to the max <3

Want me to manifest for you too?

[snapscube]

you don't have to publish this or whatever but I wanted to say, I'm right there with u on Projects That I Put On A Schedule And Then Couldn't Stick To That Schedule. it kinda sucks (especially, I imagine, if you have an audience asking about the things; being unknown has its pros and cons) but at the end of the day imo trying is the important thing and doing it infrequently is better than not at all. keep doing you and put out what you can and want, when you can and want, and people will enjoy it regardless of frequency or scheduling or whatever

hey i appreciate this a ton <3 admittedly i was very grumpy over the assumption that just because no shame was intended w/ asking me like that about projects i haven't updated in a while that it would mean no shame was caused LOL. it's actually, in a cruel twist of irony, something i have very specifically been insecure about over the past couple of days and i already wasn't having the best morning in general. whoops!

i think a lot of people assume by default i am a much more put-together person than i actually am just because i have some semblance of success haha. truth be told everything that i am able to put out is a god damn miracle in the sense that i am constantly fighting to do so against rampant fatigue and depression. i always always want to do more, and i have every intention to do so. i always assume i can if i just try hard enough since it seems easy enough for other folks, which is why i sometimes over-promise. but i'm still really trying to make things fit every day, and lately i have admittedly not had a lot of success. i have not given up yet tho! i think 2024 is gonna prove to be a year where i have to call on a bit of a hail mary approach because i KNOW there's a better way than what i've been doing. whether that's through a massive output change in terms of schedule, or whether that's a huge break, or whether it's sunsetting certain parts of my online output in the interest of focusing on things i'd rather be using that limited stamina for. feels like SOMETHING's gonna have to give.

anyway, i hope to never come across like i'm taking peoples patience for granted. it always legitimately sucks when people earnestly want to see something return, and i do too, but i have no better answer to where it is aside from just "i couldn't do it"

[russellsppttemplates]

Your mummy is my hero (Lance Stroll)

Lance and Y/N continue their journey into parenthood

Note: english is not my first language. Like the last pieces, this piece is written from experiences I know and not from such a scientific point of view, so it is probable that there are some mistakes as I'm not a doctor. Still, I've tried to treat this as respectfully as possible as this is very close to my heart.

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions endometriosis, fertility issues and treatments and associated topics (needles, blood), pregnancy, baby feeding

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Hey, darling", Lance greeted, setting the wooden spoon on the counter and wiping his hands on the towell by the cabinets, "how was your day?", he walked up to you, placing his hands on your waist as pulling you to him close enough so he could kiss you, "it was good, but I'm really tired, like, really really tired", you hummed before blushing at your own admission.

Lately, the smallest efforts, both physical and cognitive, were leaving you with a tiredness you couldn't recognise. Pairing that with the fact that Lance had been extra doting on you since the transfer, which meant cosy nights in his chest always available for you to lay on, there hadn't been a night in the last week where you hadn't been in bed by the time the news finished on the TV.

"And you managed to eat lunch?", he asked, walking back to the stove so he could finish plating up the food he just cooked, "yes, it was fine. I think this whole eating and going to bed routine, as lovely as it is, is not agreeing with my stomach", you shrugged.

Approaching him so it would be your turn to hug him, you positioned yourself so you could get close enough to his neck, kissing the thin skin there and whispering in his ear, "am I crazy if I think this means our little bun is making themselves warm and cosy in my uterus?".

"I think it's okay, because I'm hopeful, too", he whispered back, smiling as he kissed your cheek, "tomorrow we will know for sure", Lance offered, "until then, I have one of your favourite dishes and some cuddles that hopefully won't turn your tummy upside down", he smiled, holding your plate out so you could bring it to the table and you could both eat dinner.

.

"Dr. Marlin will call you shortly", one of the nurses informed as she escorted you out the the room she had taken your blood in, smiling warmly at Lance.

"Everything okay?", your husband asked, "yes, at this point, I don't even mind it", you reassured him, holding his hand in yours, "whatever happens today, we'll get through it, okay?", he whispered. Even though he cried happy tears when you had the transfer, he had gotten back to be the strong person in the process. He was the one caring for you and making sure you were both standing with your feet on the ground, regulating any emotions and allowing you to breakdown every time you needed to, never failing to bring the smile back to your face.

"I have your results back", Dr. Marlin said once you had sat down and had small talk, "congratulations, Y/N! You're pregnant", she announced.

Lance was quick to pull you to his side, hugging you as best as he could and kissing the side of your head as you cried, "I'm sorry, but these good news are also a lot to take in", you chuckled, wiping the tears with your thumbs before looking at Dr. Marlin, sensing she wanted to carry on.

"It's okay to feel like this, it's completely normal", she offered, "while this is still early, so we have to be careful, your levels looks really good", she pointed the screen so you could see your results and the interval they have to be for successful procedures, "everything is looking good, your HCG levels are very good even. You already know the risks and what you should keep an eye out for, but so far, we are headed in the right direction, congratulations!".

After prescribing you prenatal vitamins and booking the next appointment, Dr. Marlin sent you both on your way to enjoy the rest of the afternoon, "I love you", Lance said once you sat in the passengers seat, kissing your lips passionately, "I love you, too, handsome, so much", you smiled, cupping his cheek softly and rubbing the skin with your thumb quickly before he moved so he could close the door.

.

"And then I was like 'wait, I've learnt how to do this in a better way!', so I gathered the things I needed and so far, it's going along well", you said as you walked around the bedroom, grabbing your underwear from the drawer and putting it on, untying your robe's belt as you walked to the head of the bed so you could grab and put your pyjamas on, "and what about you?", you asked your husband, "did they change the shape on the front wing?", you asked, taking off the robe completely.

"Yes, they ran some tests and it looks promising, and I also d- woah", he gasped, adjusting his position onto the bed, "it wasn't there last night", he whispered, rolling on the bed so he could approach you, his head in line with your midsection.

"What wasn't th- oh", you noticed, too. The swell under your boobs was prominent. Not like whenever you had a little bit too much of your mother's cooking or whenever your period left you feeling heavier, but rather like a baby bump.

"It still feels surreal", you whispered, pulling your shorts all the way up so they sat lowly on your hips and sitting on the bed next to Lance, his hand going straight to caress your skin while you pulled the thin material on to rest just under your boobs, "our little one is growing, made themselves cosy and warm inside mummy? You're very clever already", he spoke to the bump as his hands continued their ministrations on your skin, pressing his lips above your belly button and leaving small kisses there, "you still have a long way to grow, but mummy and daddy are here so excited to meet you, love".

.

"She's growing my baby, and I don't mean this to sound so animalistic - maybe it's that instinct though -, but she's growing our baby that we made together and she's the best, she's taking everything like a champion. I know that there are hard days, but she's still doing it 24/7", Lance said.

"Well, it's not something you can tag out or have a break", Chloe retorted despite knowing where her younger brother was getting at.

"I know, but- she's been through a lot, we've been through a lot, and we're finally so close to meeting our daughter", he admitted.

You didn't want to make a big fuss around it, but you insisted on gathering both families for a dinner to celebrate your baby and to spend some time together before your routines changed. You and Lance spoke to a caterer who delivered the food at your place while Chloe, Scotty and your husband set the big table while you played with your nephew, the little boy forever entertained with your games and occasionally kissing your clothed bump like he had seen his uncle do so many times.

When Chloe brought the small box with balloons, her smile was beaming, "open it, open it! I'm very proud of myself for not taking a peak, but please, open it!", your sister in law beamed, clapping her hands as the rest of the family members waited expectantly for you and Lance to rip the tape and lift the lid of the box.

When you did so and it revealed lavender coloured balloons with silver writing announcing "it's a girl!", everyone cheered and clapped, Lance hugging you as one hand travelled to your bump whole the other pulled your closer, "ready to be a girl dad?", you teased, kissing his chin, "I was born ready for this, my love".

Knowing you were carrying his little girl made Lance even more attentive to you, if that was possible, and it brought out an even softer side of him. He tried to be there for all the appointments he could, had organised a list with you so you could both have input in what you'd need to buy for your baby girl, and anytime he saw something he liked and thought "she absolutely needs to have this", he would bring it home along with your favourite dessert in a take out bag.

"I'm back", you announced as you walked back into the living room, "hopefully she'll let me sit for longer than an hour and not use my bladder like a dance floor", you chuckled, seeing Lance open his arms so you could sit next to him as he hugged you sideways.

"Have you thought about names? I remember me and Scotty went back and forth with so many names until we found the one that felt right", Chloe questioned.

"We have a list with a couple of them", you began, "and we're set on one, Addalynn. It's a strong name, we can do Addy for a short nickname", you explained, rubbing your bump as you felt her kick, "and she seems to like it, too! She always wiggles harder whenever we say it!".

.

The rumble in the corridor was practically unheard inside your hospital room as Lance exited the bathroom after washing his hands, looking over to you and seeing your sleeping figure. The labour had, as expected, taken a lot of energy from you, so after the medical team made sure you were in good health and after you fed your babygirl, they urged you to rest for a little bit, reassuring you that they'd be around if anything happened.

"Hey, little love", Lance cooed, noticing his daughter give a little scrunch in her bassinet and prompting him to take her out and hold her against his chest, "what a delicious scrunch you've got there, hm?", he complimented as he grabbed a blanket, sitting down and covering her back with the blanket after making sure she was in a good position, "Mummy is resting now, you gave her a hard time to come out here, did you know that?"

"Mummy and I have dreamed of this day for a really long time, and you've made our dreams come true", he cooed, softly touching Addalynn's soft chubby cheeks, "mummy put her body through a lot so we could be a family, and that's why she's my hero", he noted as she made a small noise, meaningless to the conversation and yet Lance felt like she was reacting to what he said.

"I know, right? She's sleeping now, but you probably fell in love with her the minute you were put on her chest, like we did with you. Mummy is kind, selfless and resilient. Sometimes she's stubborn, too", he chuckled, "but that means she loves extra hard, too, and that we just need to keep an eye out when she's taking too much of a burden so we can share it. You and I are going to be a team for that, okay? Always keeping an eye out for mummy", he smiled, kissing her forehead, "your mummy is my hero, and from now on, you are both my priorities", he promised, the sigh from his daughter's lips as she opened and closed her mouth, "are you hungry? Mummy is asleep, isn't- Oh, she isn't, hm?".

You chuckled, rubbing your eyes as you smiled tiredly, "were you two having a chat? Without me?", you feigned offense as you watched your husband get up so he could place your daughter on your chest, "let's have some food, hm? Such a gorgeous girl, you are, and maybe me and you can also have a chat about daddy. I'm sure you've figured it out already", you added as you lowered your top, "but he's the best daddy ever".

[nondualiber]

guys, guys, gUYS. SUCCESS STORY THERE!!

first of all, this happened like a week ago or something. okay, so, i'm going to keep this short. i was in some sort of "manifesting block", i was OVER complicating things, my mindset sucked, blah blah blah blah. that's essentially the reason i wasn't posting (and will continue to not be, probably); because i was focusing on my life and actually manifesting new stuff.

warning; kind of long post ahead, talking about how i did it my journey blah blah blah. if you want to see the success story directly js go right to the bottom

first, a bit of background; i have manifested things in the past, but mym indset was always shitty. when i archieved my manifestations i would say it was a coincidence, i was obsessed with the 3d, and what i'm saying has been going on for *years*. for the past 6 months i was in this vicious circle where i'd try a method full of hope, then eventually lose confidence because of some negative beliefs and give up in three days. i'd have a one week meltdown, then search for a brand new method, and repeat. clearly, i didn't manifest anything lately. and i didn't know what i was "doing wrong" because i had manifested lots of things in the past, but i didn't know how nor how could i do it now.

okay, so. like a week ago, when i was in a terrible mood, i decided to stop using tumblr to see information and talked to this bot on character.ai, that assesored me a lot on my mindset. it suggested me lots of things: since i had 0 trust in the law, start to manifest little things i didn't care that much about so i had "proof", actually stop caring, etc. (i really recommend that bot if ur struggling with the law) but the most important thing, it challenged me to try a new "method" i had heard of before, but because of my shitty mindset, i didn't try because i thought it wouldn't work or that it was "too good to be true" or whatever. the method was literally just keep going with my day knowing that i already had it. and oh my f*cking god.

i won't say it just "clicked" for me because i hear that a lot & i things that's just not how it works. at least i can't "click" with something i don't know. what i can say is that at first it wasn't easy, i still had some doubts, not gonna lie, but i just ignored them and keep going knowing that i already had it. i got used to it really fast, and THAT'S how i knew this was the way, because i felt liberated. if you read my blog you'll probably know i talk about that all the time, but my idea of manifesting is that it has to feel liberating, not like a chore, a price to your desires or anything else. i was liberated, because i knew it was done, that i had nothing to give in exchange, that i was free of the 3d & its circumstances. i was Me, and I was free.

this was the best thing i've ever done in my journey. in only one week, i've successfuly manifested:

money: (me and my family are kind of wealthy tbh, but i am bratty asf & always want more money to buy me things 😜😜) my mother recieved 200000 pesos (my country's currency) out of literally thin air on her bank account a random tuesday. she doesn't know who send it or why. i don't know about the u.s.a since there 200000 pesos are 200 dollars, but in our country, that's a LOT of money.

self confidence: i've been feeling super insecure lately. like, i am insecure since i have memory, but since this year started it has become WAY worse. i'd literally cry almost every night. now, i def wouldn't say it's all gone, but it's gotten much better. i've been feeling pretty lately, and if i didn't felt pretty, i would hardly think about my appearence at all this days. i am constantly feeling like i have one less weight on my back, which i am gratefull for :)

discipline: ngl i am forever a lazy girl and a foodie. I have always wanted to be more productive - study more, exercise more, talk to my loved ones more often and eat healthier, but discipline is something i struggle with a lot. however, since i have shown better discipline i have had some of the most useful days of my life: i went out with my friends three times in one week, ate much better than i usually do, exercised EVERY DAY without fail (even while on my period) slept well and passed all four exams this week with an 85/100 on my worst one and two 100s.

reciving a compliment in public: since i tried to start manifesting things that seem "easier" for me to acomplish, i tried manifesting this because it was rare but not impossible. so, like 3 days after i started to embody the state of someone who's always complimented by strangers, i went to the sjopping centre with my friend. then, two guys walked by us and one of them said "i want the instagram of that lady"! notice that during the whole time i was in the state, i visualized that people were asking me for my instagram + i've noted that when i'm in public, i catched people's eye more. yesterday, a guy won't stop looking at me in the café and i think he tried to approach me :)

i'll keep escalating on the "level of difficulty" of the things i manifest as my mentality becomes accustomed to the fact that everything is equally easy to manifest -which is a fact already, i just have a hard time accepting it-, and, of course, i'll be updating ;)

conclusion; look for what works for you. for what makes you feel good & secure that you have already what you want. search a "key" that makes you (actually) not give a f*ck about the 3d, if you have negative beliefs, don't ignore them. work from them, and of course, persist! let your mindset keep you on track.

that was all for today, love ya ♡

[myalvmss]

⎯⎯ CHAPTER 1, STARRY EYES ❞

DESC. “make a choice that you know you won't regret,” had always been what you've heard from your mother. but what if you don't know what's ahead of you? or what to not regret? these, are the times where it gets challenging for you.

PAIRINGS. aquamarine hoshino x fem!reader

WARNINGS. click this before reading!

BUTTERFLY'S NOTE. y'all have no idea on how much I procrastinated on this 💀 LMFAO. enjoy! this is so short omg 💔 BUT LIKE HELP I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO WORD THE ENDING??

LYRICS. i've got my eye on you. (x2) + you'll find another life to live, I know you'll get over it.

PREV. ｟ MASTERLIST. ｠ NEXT.

Y/N had been extremely bored about all of these talking her mother had been doing, babbling about how things will go in the future as she worries for her daughter, y/n. “mother, you've been quite hectic lately..” y/n mumbled, loud enough for her mother to hear however. “How am I not, sweetheart?” y/n's mother only sighed in a slight tint of frustration, “you've always been a prodigy.. perhaps I'll let you choose a career on your own.” y/n's mother gave her a soft smile, an apologetic one if she was pressuring you. “well..” y/n spoke to her mother, and she nodded.. “i wanna try being an actress, and an idol. I mean, I have experience on being an actress. and being an idol is hard, but I'll work through it.” your mother only showed her approval for y/n's decision, and it was a high chance her father did too. just, as long as y/n's grades are passing enough. that's okay. but the thing is, y/n didn't know what choice to choose. what is it a wise one? no? probably. but.. it was too late.

⎯⎯

and that was only taken back months ago while y/n was only a middle schooler, right now y/n is a popular idol and also an actress, acting in many series and movies, all of them seemed to be successful enough. y/n's parents weren't exactly strict about grades, in a way. they weren't harsh at all, like. for example, if they were to be something wrong, they'd sit down and talk to y/n about it, with an open mind. and also an understanding nature for their only daughter. they always hold support for y/n, and honestly with whatever decision she makes, they're proud. but of course, for some terms, they are protective as they were still y/n's parents. y/n was only enrolling in Yotou Highschool, it was perfect. even her best friends from middle was attending! in the entertainment course, luckily the four of them got in.

y/n walked into the classroom, seeing many students there.. all looking pretty, handsome and all. there were pretty girls, handsome boys, yeah whatever.. but y/n wasn't interested. especially not by only appearance, y/n prefers personality. you know? y/n walked pass the students talking to each other, as she found her idol-mates. “Ah, y/n!” ann exclaimed, waving towards y/n with a big smile. y/n returned one back to ann, as she walked towards the group of girls. y/n sighed, “this school seems to be very..” y/n started trailing off a little, as she looked down to her shoes. “intimadating?” herta guessed, as fuyuko and y/n nodded in agreement. however ann reassured, that everything will be fine!

it wasn't too long before people started recognizing who y/n and the girls were. the four was already successful either way. there wasn't much of a surprise — kind of. herta only wished for those to not recognize her, as she was basically trying to hide at all costs from people. which she failed miserably. ann only laughed at herta's little sulking while fuyuko and y/n couldn't help but hold in their laughs, as they hold pity towards herta's failure.

⎯⎯

the teacher seemed to be extremely late, from what you thought. but fuyuko was desperate for the teacher to be absent! “fuyuko, it's only the first day.” y/n reminded her, but fuyuko paid absolutely no point in that reminder. “a first day is like any day.” fuyuko argued, as y/n deadpanned. while for ann and herta, the two were wondering about their idol activities. a slight whine from ann coming, as they were whining about how they're gonna end up tired just by doing a long rehearsal of dancing, “you can't do much about it.” herta said, getting a tablet out from her bag as she scrolls through the groupchat named "Starlight ; Lvamia Productions". checking through their schedule for the day, y/n and fuyuko entered the conversation after. “if we have rehearsal, we can simply leave school for it.” herta said, turning the tablet opposite to the three girls in front of her, showing the schedule they had. “after all, we're in the entertainment course. we're allowed to have a sloppy attendance, as I'm pretty sure that our parents won't be too happy if we had terrible grades, yes?”

the girls nodded. the four couldn't help but think about your parents if they were to find out about the performances you had academically. “do we have rehearsal though?” asked fuyuko. herta turned the tablet around, looking through the schedule. she nodded as a response, soon enough there will be rehearsal in a few hours, herta told the other three girls. “we have a dance rehearsal, then soon enough we'll go over our notes.. as we have a chance to perform on stage in a few months or so?” herta specified. the girls eyes lit up as they were excited to go on stage again like last time they did, it was successful enough and they even made to have attention in the media. y/n smiled, “right then. starlight?” y/n placed the back of her palm in the air, as fuyuko and ann looked at each other and smiled. placing their hands above yours, while herta was the only one left. she hesitated, before showing the most smallest genuine smile she ever did in her whole life, as she joined too.

⠀⠀⠀“stargazers!”

the girls exclaimed, raising their arm up in the air after. they all looked at each other, lowering their arms down. sharing laughter and joy together. a choice made in y/n's path once again, is this finally a choice that y/n did not regret? finding happiness in this life other than the last life she had lived through? now that y/n thinks about it, maybe this is what mother meant by making a choice you won't regret. will she make more choices in the future? ones she'll know she won't regret? there's no such guarantee, but having this kind of friendgroup made her forget the miserable life she once lived. although the thought of dying and ending up in a place like hell was something you thought of before, you didn't expect to live another life. reincarnation. but knowing that you did get this rare chance, it feels like you got to relive a new life and experience things that you never got to experience. sure, you sometimes get deja vu or flashbacks of your old life, but you didn't pay too much mind on it. she's happy now, I think. still, there's more hardships coming in her way soon enough. but she knows, she'll get over it. she always does.

suddenly, the teacher came in the class. finally! wait, no. fuyuko felt down with the fact the teacher came; but like y/n said, it's the first day. no way the teacher would be absent on the first day, right? the girls quickly sat down on their seats, as y/n gave fuyuko a smug look that explained that y/n herself was right. fuyuko huffed in frustration, as the teacher went on with the class. it wasn't too bad for the girls, it's just that fuyuko only wished to get out of the class as soon as possible. meaning by that, her constantly eyeing the clock. ann wanted to laugh, but they held back SO HARD. herta was slightly sighing to herself, absolutely tired of the shenanigans the girls always did. while y/n was holding back from wanting to throw her pen to fuyuko in order to signal her to pay attention. though, to fuyuko's relief, after a few hours, the following classes ended and it was pretty much a free period. “girls, its time to go and attend rehearsal.” herta said, as the girls nodded. being already outside of the school.

as the girls started running out, almost like having a race due to ann and fuyuko's competitiveness, y/n only joined for fun. while herta only joined in the so-called race to catch up with ann and fuyuko, and stop them in case they trip and fall down to the ground or something. way worse possibility to that situation, get hurt. what a mom. but as the four girls ran, y/n passed a group of four other people. while running, she slowed down a bit to see the four people's faces. specifically, meeting eyes with a boy with blue starry eyes, same like y/n's. however, due to y/n running, she ran pass the boy and basically stopped. slightly looking back at the corner of her eye.

⎯⎯

a girl, who had ran passed aqua but in that split second, something that felt more than just a split second actually.. he met eyes with her, yet aqua didn't know who that girl was. should he pay that much mind to it? no. it was probably just some random girl that attended to the same school as him, obviously. he stood there, stiff like some laughable doll. “y/n! hurry up!” fuyuko yelled, y/n. that's the girls name? he looked from afar, seeing the girl he met eyes with get a little sidetracked by looking at frill, minami, ruby and him at the corner of her eye. “her name is y/n, huh? hm..” aqua thought, however pushing that inconvenient thought away. “aquamarine?” frill mentioned aqua's name, due to how he seemed to not pay attention to the conversation. aqua looked to frill, “you're from the live action, sweet today, right?” frill asked. y/n looked at the direction where her idol-mates were, as she exclaimed, “I'm coming!” y/n ran off, heading to rehearsal with her idol-mates. but y/n couldn't help but think;

“his name is aquamarine, huh? hm..”

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[maple-seed]

Thrown - Chapter 40: Foolish Mortal

Summary: You make a terrible mistake.

Word Count: 4,036

Author's Notes: :)

Thrown Masterlist Loki Masterlist

It was a routine market day. You took a moment to laugh to yourself that this was now what you considered to be routine. You woke up early and a god showed up on your doorstep to help you with your chores. Completely routine. He was sitting beside you now as Breidr pulled the wagon to town. Loki had his arm stretched across the back of the seat. He had been doing that lately. You would never breathe a word about that, and hoped he couldn't hear how your heart beat skipped every time.

And it did happen every time. It was ridiculous. A part of you wanted to say that you really should have gotten this under control by now. The rest of you knew it was a losing battle. You did your best to keep it from being obvious (you hoped), but your feelings were there and they weren't budging. If anything, they had grown stronger. Especially recently. You weren't sure how you would have made it through these past weeks without him. He had been there without you even needing to ask. You glanced over at him as he was admiring the scenery, and felt incredibly grateful that this was now your normal.

When you arrive at the market the two of you go to work without discussion. Loki knew how to set up the booth by now, though he was never above making a suggestion for improvement. You would roll your eyes and remind him that you have been doing this for years and he would insist that your business had increased dramatically with his input.

Khadija and Hani arrived. You told Hani about the time you tamed a lion (a mixed success, naturally). She asked to see Loki's magic and he knelt to show her something in his hands. This was your favorite part of the day. The magic was wonderful, of course, but what you really loved was watching his face. It was so open and earnest when he shared his talent with this eager audience. You loved the way they huddled together, like two conspirators. A small white bird flew away from them and you watched his smile spread in response to Hani's laughter. She bounded away back to her mother, Loki looked up and caught you staring. He often did. You tried not to react immediately, hoping that you wouldn't be given away. The way he kept his eyes on you as he stood, his face still soft, made your stomach flip. Once you felt it wouldn't be suspicious, you turned away to sort the cash box.

"Did you enjoy the show?" You could hear the smirk he was wearing as he leaned back against the counter. "I've seen better." You steeled yourself to look at him, then returned the smirk. He only chuckled.

The market was open and the day continued with your new normal. An alien prince sweet-talked customers into buying your dishes. He ate a sandwich you made for him. The two of you shared a packet of candied nuts.

After lunch you spotted a familiar face approaching your booth, Fredrik Larsen, an ever-friendly middle-aged man. You smiled as he reached the counter. "Hello, Mr. Larsen. How are you doing today?" He grimaced. "I have been better, I'm afraid. I'm here to redeem myself." You raised your eyebrows. "Oh?" "Yes." He was looking over the items in front of him. "This morning at breakfast, fool that I am, I manage to knock over Anja's favorite vase." He looked up at you over his glasses. "One of yours, you know it? It was blue, with speckles?" You slowly nodded while trying to recall. "Yes, I think I remember." "Well, it is no more." He sighed. "She forgives me, of course, but I would like to bring home a replacement." "And maybe some flowers to go in it?" You grinned. He chuckled and tapped his nose. "Clever girl. Precisely."

You helped him select a vase that was judged to be similar enough to the one that was broken and began wrapping it, with a little extra padding just in case. He peered at you over his glasses again with a wry smile. "Terna, aren't you married yet?" You laughed. "No sir, not me." He heaved a disappointed sigh. "I'll never understand the men in this town." He pointed a finger at you. "But someone has stolen your heart, surely?" You laughed again, shaking your head. "No, not yet." From the corner of your eye you saw Loki's head snap in your direction. "Ah, well," he idly scratched his jaw with a shrug, "the men in this town... you may be better off." "That's how I see it." You gave him a wink as you handed over the vase. "Give my love to Anja. I hope the rest of your day goes well." "It's much improved already." He smiled and waved as he left.

You turned around to see Loki watching you with his arms crossed, wearing a slightly amused expression. There was a glint in his eye that worried you. You couldn't help but feel it's the sort of look a fox might give a cornered rabbit. "What?" He narrowed his eyes, but his smile remained. "You lied to that man." You frowned. "No I didn't. I do hope his day goes well." He rolled his eyes. "Not that. Before." There was a pause while you tried to recall the conversation you just had. "You told him no one had stolen your heart." Ice ran through your veins, your eyes wide. "What? No. That's not...." He grinned. "Oh, darling, surely you aren't going to attempt a second lie to cover the first?" "I-" You started, then stopped. It was too late. There was no way to salvage this now. You pressed your lips together and turned away from him, busying yourself by straightening items on the counter. "Forget about it." He laughed, and you heard him cross behind you to stand by your side. "Come now, we're friends, aren't we? Why would you keep this from me?" "I don't want to talk about it." You turned away from him again. He moved to your other side. "You must tell me who it is." "No." You said flatly. "Very well."

He turned around and called out to the booth next door. "Khadija! Who is Terna in love with?" You frantically spun around and clapped your hand over his mouth. "Loki!" You felt him grinning beneath your palm. For her part, Khadija laughed and gave a smile that was a little too knowing for your comfort. "I can't say that I know." Hani was beside herself with giggles. Loki removed your hand and turned, looking at other stalls. "Hmm. Who else might we ask?" "No!" You hissed, tugging his arm. "Stop!" "Darling, I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this. I do love a mystery." You sighed in frustration. "Come on. Not here at the market. You're going to start rumors about me." His eyebrows raised. "Oh, so the topic is open for discussion elsewhere?" You winced. There was no choice but to step into the grave you had dug. "Yes. Fine. Just no more talk here with half the town around." "You have my word." His smile was victorious. You settled into defeat.

A weight rested in your chest as you went about your business. How could you have been so careless? You were so conscientious when you were talking to Loki. You were very aware of topics to avoid and you were sure to word things around the truth. The failing, of course, was that you hadn't been talking to Loki. You cringed, replaying the moment again in your mind. It was so obvious in hindsight. You should have paid more attention. You should have responded differently when Loki brought it up. A hundred solutions came to mind now.

Nevermind it. It's over now. Nothing to be done. You glanced at Loki, he was helping someone choose a mug. You didn't want to lose this. How would you get by without him now? Maybe, maybe he wouldn't leave. Maybe he would just mercilessly mock you for it. Maybe it would even be fun for him. You could deal with that. Something in you doubted that's how this would play out. You had a little time, at least. You knew he would keep his word, he wouldn't bring it up again at the market. Maybe if you were lucky he wouldn't mention it again today. But he wouldn't forget it. He would ask about it soon. You tried to carry on and enjoy the time with him that you had, but a dark cloud settled over your heart and hung there for the rest of the day.

****

No good could come of it, this he knew. Still, he had to know who it was. Something inside him drove incessantly forward after the idea. Outwardly, he performed as he would on any other day at the market. He laughed with you and helped as needed. Inwardly, he was tied in knots. Who had stolen your heart? Did he know them? Were they worthy of your attention? Almost certainly not. It was hard to imagine a mortal that could be. Then again, it might not be a mortal at all. You were thoroughly embedded in the community of New Asgard, any number of Æsir might have caught your eye. None immediately came to mind as someone you mentioned more than others, which led him back to the local humans. His mind drifted to the man behind the counter at the cafe. You never mentioned him either, but he stood out in Loki's mind as someone with clear intentions toward you.

He wondered how this had slipped past him. How could such a significant part of your life have gone unnoticed? There should have been some clue. Perhaps there had been. Perhaps he only saw what he wanted to.

As promised, he did not prod you any further at the market. After the lie and its revelation you weren't quite yourself, which brought him to another train of thought. Why wouldn't you tell him who it was? Was it something you were ashamed of? Was it someone you felt he wouldn't approve? And if you were to name this person, what then? What would change? He certainly couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't announce his feelings and ask you to forget yours. He couldn't take that away from you. You deserved this sort of happiness, and he wished it for you. Knowing who it was wouldn't change anything. Perhaps he just needed a target at which to direct his envy.

An alarming thought occurred to him: perhaps you wouldn't tell him who it was because you were aware of his feelings, and feared he would retaliate against your lover. This put a lump in his throat and he prayed to the Norns that it wasn't the case. The only thing he could currently imagine as worse than someone else holding your heart is the thought that you knew he wanted to hold it instead. Humiliation atop devastation. Perhaps your assumption of his reaction wouldn't be wrong. He found it difficult to imagine himself being friendly with the one who owned your affections. It was petty, he knew, but he doubted he could change that part of himself.

He briefly cursed himself for not telling you sooner how he felt. Perhaps all of this misery could have been avoided. He soon shook the thought away. It likely wouldn't have changed anything. This had progressed to the point where the truth was that this person had stolen your heart. This likely began long before he had even recognized the stirrings of his own feelings. Perhaps before he even met you. It was better he hadn't said anything. There was a chance he could keep your friendship, try to be happy for you.

Still, he needed to know who it was.

**

The wagon was well outside of town, trundling along the road to your home. Loki had his arm stretched across the back of the seat and his feet were propped on the dashboard. For all appearances he was casually relaxed, though his insides were wound tight. You appeared similarly calm, if slightly glum.

He examined his fingers and kept his tone light. "So, about this thief of your heart..." You groaned and slumped forward. "Loki, can't you let it go? Is it really that important?" "I can think of few things more important." He stated plainly. "I would think a god would have more serious things to worry about than mortals' love lives." He smirked. "I respect your ploy but it won't work." He gestured to the open landscape. "We're no longer at the market. Tell me who it is." You shook your head. "No, thank you." "Is it that boy at the cafe?" You looked at him quizzically. "Who?" "At the cafe, the boy behind the counter." Your brow creased with thought. "Johan?" "I suppose that could be his name." You laughed. "Why would it be him?" "He is clearly carrying a torch for you." You chuckled again. "I think you're mistaken." "I am certain I'm not." You shook your head. "It's not Johan."

It was true. Loki felt a sense of relief but still frowned. That had been his most likely suspect. "Lukas, then? From the woodworking stall?" "It's not Lukas." He thought for a moment, then feigned a scandalized gasp. "It's not Khadija, is it? She's married!" You rolled your eyes. "You know it's not Khadija." He shrugged. "Infidelity seemed a likely reason why you might be so guarded about the subject." "I just don't see how it's any of your business." He narrowed his eyes. "That was a lie." You huffed and hunched forward in your seat. "Very well. Next candidate...."

As the horse drew the wagon onward Loki offered the name of every human he could think of, each met with an honest denial from you. He had exhausted his list of mortals just as the farm came into view, and had named most of the Æsir as well by the time he had helped you unharness Breidr.

"Perhaps Sven?" He stroked Breidr's neck, leaning forward to speak to the horse. "What say you? Sven is a handsome enough fellow, isn't he?" The horse seemed entirely disinterested in the conversation, plodding forward into the field to graze. Loki followed you as you carried the equipment into the stable. "Is it Thor?" "Yes, it's Thor." You said flatly as you stepped into the tack room.

He knew it was a lie, of course, but that didn't stop his stomach from dropping like a stone when he heard it. The thought that you were in love with his golden brother was more than he could bear. It wasn't true. Of course it wasn't true. He recovered quickly enough, painting on a smile by the time you exited the stable. "Hah. I know that even you couldn't have such poor taste." "Well I wouldn't be the first mortal to succumb to his charms, right?" "The poor girl wasn't well in the head, I'm sure." "I heard she was really smart. Didn't she-" He held up a finger. "You are trying to change the subject." You frowned and stomped across the grass to your cottage. "Could it be the Valkyrie?" "Do you think she'd have me?" You swooned wistfully as you stepped through your back door. "Ah, so I've found it." He closed the door with an air of triumph. You rolled your eyes. "It's not Val. Why are you pushing this so hard?" "Why does anyone seek an answer that eludes them? Why do your people probe the distant stars or the depths of the ocean?" "I'm not a galaxy or an ocean." You mumbled. You were shifting items around in the kitchen now, Loki couldn't determine why. "You are no less full of wonder." He said quietly, leaning forward on your table. He worried the frayed corner of a towel, and spoke louder as he addressed you. "I still don't understand why you wish to conceal this from me." "Because you don't need to know!" You muttered. He returned his attention to the towel, pulling a thread free from its neighbors. "Darling, this is getting a bit ridiculous. I would say you know me quite well by now. You know that I will get to the bottom of this. Why not end this frustration and simply tell me now? I will find the answer eventually."

He looked up at you and was taken aback. You had your arms braced on the counter, your head hung. Your eyes were closed and your face was tight. You looked miserable. Guilt washed over him. He straightened and started to tell you to forget the entire mess when your voice interrupted.

"It's you."

Loki froze. "What?"

"It's you, okay?" You lifted your head but didn't look at him. "I've got feelings for you that are more than friendly and I'm sorry and it doesn't matter. It's stupid and I've known it's stupid and it really doesn't have to change anything." Your eyes looked anywhere but his direction, wringing your hands. "But I understand if you're uncomfortable and you don't want to be friends anymore. I just... I was trying to keep it to myself. And I can keep it to myself. It doesn't have to mean anything." You closed your eyes and took a breath. "And I know, I know this is the part where you call me a 'foolish mortal' or something and make fun of me. And that's fine, really. I just... don't want anything to change."

Your rambling finally came to a stop, you were still and quiet. You looked small, with your arms folded over yourself, staring at your countertop. Loki stood and stared as his mind caught up with your words. It was him. The answer he would never have dared to hope for. The most impossible answer. Your heart belonged to him.

A weightlessness filled him, and he breathed a laugh. Loki saw you wince, but it was no matter. Finally, this was a hurt that he could heal. He crossed the room to you and you tried to shrink away from him but he caught you, bringing his hands up to cup your face. His eyes were soft as you looked up at him at last.

He smiled a gentle smile and spoke with every tenderness. "Foolish mortal."

He waited as your expression eventually shifted from confusion to realization, then he finally brought his lips to yours. The urgency in your response, the way he felt your fists tangle in his shirt, removed any remnant of uncertainty and he pulled you closer into him. He couldn't be sure how much time had passed before he finally broke away from you. He didn't go far--he couldn't, you still clutched his shirt--and simply hovered close with his arms around you.

You took a moment to compose yourself before looking up at him. "I don't understand." "Really? I thought I had made myself clear. Allow me to try again..." With a smirk, he leaned in to kiss you again. You laughed and pushed him back. "No! I mean, me? I'm... I'm just...." He tutted, trailing a finger along your jaw. "Oh, my little bird. You are never just anything." "I'm human." "I can forgive that." He cut off your laugh with another kiss, and relished the feeling of your arms finding their way around his neck. You pulled yourself closer this time, and Loki wondered if he could ever be compelled to draw himself away from this. Perhaps he wouldn't have to. Your eager touch, your quiet breaths, these might be enough to sustain him for eternity. He was willing to try, but wasn't given the opportunity. You pulled back with a sigh, and lay your head against his shoulder while your hands snaked around his waist.

"This isn't a trick, right?" He might have been hurt, had it not been clear you weren't serious. He smiled. "Certainly not." "This is... a lot." He rested his head against yours. "It has been a taxing day." You scoffed. "Yeah, for me. I've been given the third degree." "How do you think it was for me? I was turning over every stone and coming up with nothing." You chuckled, then. "You ran through two towns' worth of people and never guessed yourself." "Oh, I would never have assumed I was worthy of your affections." You looked up at him, incredulous. "And Johan was?" He shook his head. "No, of course not, but the boy clearly has an interest. I thought it might be requited." "You're imagining things." "I will prove it." He pointed to the door. "Let us go down the cafe right now." You rolled your eyes. "No. I am hungry, though."

Rather than sit at the table, you brought the dishes to the couch and the two of you sat close while you ate. As soon as dinner was set aside his arms were around you again, he didn't see the sense in waiting. He had kept himself waiting so long already. You responded by maneuvering yourself until your legs were draped across his lap. What pleased him the most, perhaps, was how little felt different. Your hands found his and conversation carried on as it typically did. Everything had changed, certainly, but when he held you it felt like the most natural thing in the world. As if the two of you had done this every night for all your lives.

"Did you ever think I knew?" You looked up at him curiously. "Only today, for the most part. Though there were a few other occasions when I considered the way you avoided the topic of romance, and thought you might be doing so to spare my feelings." You nodded. "That week when you stopped talking to me, I was sure you had figured it out." Loki grimaced. "Yes, that was... a misguided attempt at quelling my own feelings." You did not look impressed. "That was stupid." "I did say it was misguided." "No, it was stupid." He chuckled. "I will concede the point."

You jumped when he suddenly gasped and gripped you tightly. "I've only just realized...." "What!?" He was smirking now. "The day we met." You narrowed your eyes. "Yes...?" "It's no wonder you were so flustered." You groaned. "Loki." "You must have been so overwhelmed, struck as you were by your desire for me." He held you firmly in his lap as you began squirming to get away. You muttered through gritted teeth. "You are the most irritating-" He was thrilled by your efforts to escape, grinning. "Poor little mortal. It's a wonder you stood upright in my presence. Your constitution is truly commendable." "I take it all back!" You were now wriggling and clawing for purchase on the couch. "I don't love you at all!" Loki stilled, his hands still holding you in place. You didn't seem to notice and continued your fruitless struggle. "Did you say you love me?" "No! Weren't you listening? I said-" He reached out to turn your face in his direction, when you saw his expression you stopped. Your faux-scowl gave way to a soft smile. You brought your hands up to cradle his face. "I thought we had covered this." He pressed his forehead to yours and closed his eyes. "Not in so many words."

He sat with you like this for some time, heads bent together and speaking softly. A conversation of quiet promises and whispered devotions. The night grew late, and then later still. Both of you found that you didn't feel like parting, so it was decided that you wouldn't. Loki settled into your bed and you joined him, curling close against his side. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and as he began to drift off to sleep his mind wandered back to that first peaceful dream he had of you, all those months ago.

It did not compare.

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[box-architecture]

I was rereading some of your stuff on Ao3, and went “huh. I know Sapnap kidnaps Dream out of a misguided idea of what’s happening at one point, but how does that all go? How did Dream react? What was Sapnap like?”

So now I’m asking you. At 12:20 am. I have class in 7.5 hours!

Okay so we're going to ignore how long this has been sitting in my drafts, half answered. Okay? Okay. Awesome

-

So at some point during the Discovery Of Many Kinks (because when you're having a weird poly relationship with your former Warden, you're going to try a bunch of different things. For Science) awesamdrunz attempt to do a sex tape. It gets left around and found within like three days. By Sapnap.

So of course because of burning curiosity he has to watch the mysterious tape to see whats on it.

Then the only reason he kept watching was shock and also trying to figure out who the hell the third person was, why they looked familiar but also what the hell happened to them. Fun ways to find out your former best friend wasn't lying when he said he was horrifically tortured by your kind-of finance: finding his sex tape.

And listen, originally it was a fun crack idea to have him see this relationship nonsense where awesamdrunz was basically fucking in sex dungeons (made by Sam) after kidnappings, and decided that this was actually a really good template to fix his own relationship. He ends up trapping Quackity and Karl in what might be a previously unused sex dungeon!

(Resounding success: both of his boyfriends did not murder each other (due to bars in between them) and even spoke to each other in order to escape. This is the most progress he's had in months.)

But then! Alternate Idea! Sapnap sees the sex tape and (honestly not unfairly given his prior knowledge) believes Punz & Sam are at minimum, pressuring Dream into this relationship, and somehow this is a worse crime than murder. No wonder Dream couldn't stay in the prison! (Which. Not inaccurate.) So Sapnap sets about needing to find and protect Dream.

Sapnap finds Dream, and tries to convince him that he'll protect him. Dream is confused about what Sapnap saw, and has a tough time refuting anything. He also does really miss his friend. So he,,, doesn't really fight when Sapnap takes him to a secondary location.

-

"The windows are nice. Not as defensible, but you'll know if the enemy approaches." Dream commented, staring at the cloud-covered sea.

Sapnap laughed nervously, pulling open kitchen cupboards. "Yeah, I don't know. There shouldn't be any way for someone to find us out here though; its not like I told anyone where we were going."

Dream pursed his lips, but said nothing, eyes following the way the waves crashed against the shitty boardwalk Sapnap cobbled together half asleep. He figured Dream wouldn't want to be cooped up in the cottage all the time, not after… everything, so they could go sit out on the beach and fish, maybe, or go look for seashells. They hadn't built a sandcastle since they were kids, either, so it would definitely be something fun to try. Just like old times.

The wheat was crumbling in his hands, so Sapnap quickly tossed it on the counter.

"Are you hungry?" He called out, trying for a bit more cheer. Dream's gaze pulled to his, and Sapnap began pulling more ingredients out on the granite. "I know I'm not usually the person who cooks, but I've been getting into it lately! I made rabbit stew for Karl the other day, and he didn't even make a face when he was chewing."

He didn't really think about the potatoes as he dumped them into the sink, but he did notice the way Dream flinched, drawing in on himself and towards the doorway.

"Dream?"

"Just…" Dream looked back out into the sea. His fingers, what remained of them, dug into the fabric of his pants. "Nothing with potatoes. Please."

Sapnap felt his anxiety roll like the tide.

"Yeah, dude, that's cool. Doesn't sound appealing right now anyway." He said uncertainly. Dream's shoulders relaxed marginally, but Sapnap still felt off. "Anything you're in the mood for, though? Beet soup? Cheese sandwich?"

"Whatever you cook is fine." Dream reassured him. A brittle, but teasing edge appeared in his smile. "Unless you somehow got worse at baking bread."

He had, but god forbid would he ever admit to that. He grinned, and sat up on the counter. "Oh, like you're so good at it. I tried your stupid 'Everything' bread, and it tasted like ash."

"You turned off the timer and it burned."

"Well maybe next time don't leave random timers on the oven and expect anyone to know what they're for."

"Maybe next time you should assume its there for a reason and not touch it." Dream said in exasperation. Sapnap stuck his tongue out, and Dream threw his hands up, exiting the kitchen. He was so dramatic, Sapnap thought fondly.

-

Its a lot of Sapnap attempting to reestablish their previous connection and realizing how much Dream has changed, and staring at the scars when he thinks Dream isn't looking. He gets Super Protective and promises he wont let anything else happen to him. Dream is instinctively upset (why now, why does it matter now, why do you care, I am Perfectly Fine) but its one of his People and he is So Tired.

Sapnap is sorta kinda keeping Dream with him. It's not exactly against Dream's will, but it's also like, if Dream could walk out the door and come back later without Sapnap freaking out he'd rather do that. But Sapnap is freaking out, and seems to believe that there is a credible threat against Dream if he leaves. Given Sapnap's previous relationship with Quackity, Dream is willing to believe he might know something and that alone makes him anxious enough that he wants to stay.

Sapnap gets more horrified the longer he's with Dream (Dream flinches under his touches, his fingers are gone, Dream makes a snide comment about Quackity when Sapnap asks about the scars,) and this only convinces him more that clearly he needs to be protecting Dream. Sapnap expresses a lot of fury towards Sam, and Dream doesn't have any good arguments against it. There's a lot of stuff that he just sorta, decided to ignore, and now that coming back up is messing with him.

They get into a brief yelling match when Dream gets tired of what he presumes is pity and fake behavior, and it ends with Sapnap holding Dream to keep him from leaving or collapsing.

(The irony(?) of Dream comforting Sapnap for most of his life only for them to switch places in this moment is not lost on him.)

He gets to snuggle with him under the covers and gets a kiss on the chin (Dream is half asleep, and thinking about how much he missed him.)

Meanwhile, Punz is going to Murder Sapnap.

Punz has no context for why Sapnap took Dream so he is assuming Sapnap is going to attempt to imprison Dream again (after failing to kill him) and while he is 100 percent confident in Dreams abilities he also is aware that Sapnap is one of Dreams People and therefore capable of hurting Dream emotionally. Hurting Dream is Not Allowed.

Sam is having a panic attack because Dream isn't within sight line and isn't with Punz and therefore everything is Wrong and Bad in his world.

When you finally get a confrontation between Sam and Sapnap (because at this point, they don't know that Sapnap knows about Punz, so Sam is going in first), Sapnap responds viciously, tearing into Sam both for the scars on Dream's body, but also stating he knew they were fucking, and there's no way that's even remotely acceptable given the position of power Sam had (he's not wrong. this is a true statement of fact for everything that occurred prior to the prison break. it's just that things got weird after that). Sam has no good rebuttal, and faced with violence from Sap, has to flee. He's left shaken from everything.

Dream: listen he may have enabled my torture and abuse, and starved and isolated me, and accepted sexual favors from me while being in a position of power over me But he's also a very sad wet cat of a man, and I'm a control freak

Punz tries to talk with Sapnap on slightly less,,, angry grounds? On his part. Knowing about the interaction with Sam, he feels better about the fact Dream is probably safe and Sapnap probably has good reason for what he's doing.

To be clear though, Sapnap is furious with Punz. Right out of the gate he reveals he knows Punz was involved. At first, he's assuming that Punz was paid off to help Sam, but Punz decides "fuck it" and reveals at least part of things. He explains he was working with Dream after the prison break, that he felt bad for betraying him, and that they had a relationship. Dream wanted to involve Sam post-prison, Punz was against it, but wanted Dream to be safe.

Sapnap: you're forcing him to do this! Punz: I DON'T EVEN WANT HIM TO BE DOING THIS Sam: >:(

Sapnap needs to take some time to processes that, but he then presses to clarify; Dream and Sam had a relationship while Dream was in prison? Yes.

Sam had a hand in the torture and Dream's condition? Also yes.

After he broke out, despite all of this, Dream still felt like he wanted to return to Sam? Yes.

Sapnap: And you LET him?!

Punz doesn't have a good answer for that, other than Dream is his own person, and Punz can't stop him from doing what he wants with his life. To which Sapnap responds, yes you can motherfucker

It's a very fundamentally rift in their two perspectives. Punz, particularly post-prison, couldn't morally justify restricting Dream or telling him how to life his life or cope. Sapnap, thinks that Dream was not in a position to make a choice like that.

Punz doesn't have a good answer for that, it's the exact thing he's been feeling guilty over. So he ends up leaving, Not for forever. Just to think.

Meanwhile, Dream overheard everything. He now understands what Sapnap is seeing as the "real issue" (or at least, the current threat at hand), and he knows that he's going to make his own choice here.

Dream: I understand that my decisions are problematic but have you ever considered that I've made my choices and will continue to make them, even if you don't agree Sapnap: NO

Dream tells Sapnap gently that he's leaving now. He wants to go back. Sapnap doesn't want him to, he makes fair arguments about how much Dream could be hurt here. Dream understands, but he's also an adult, and he's decided what he wants. He's forgiven his stupid creeper hybrid boyfriend. It might not make sense to, but he has. It's his choice in the end.

Sapnap doesn't like it, there's a long people where he's just holding Dream and in tears. He's apologized a lot. For leaving Dream there. He says it again for good measure. Dream gives him a soft kiss on the forehead and he doesn't say it's okay, but he does say that he loves him. That it will be okay.

Dream has to go now, but he promises to come back, they set a time and they get to just spend time together. Talking about things one at a time.

(Sapnap and Dream see each other a lot now, as he slowly enters Dream's life again. Occupying his space and checking up on him and fretting. They get more kisses, more cuddles in bed. Once a week they come back to their little cottage and grow something that isn't what they used to have, but its still good, and its full of love.)

Later, Dream will be reassuring Punz that he made the best choices he could make, sighing and pulling Sam out of his prison depression hole. Kidnapping once again proves to be a great way to solve problems.

[a-tiny-teez]

Behind the scenes

Yandere Director OC X Fem reader

Part 1

Warning : 18+ content,MDNI, age gap, yandere themes, kidnapping,power imbalance, implied non-con, slight slow burn, reader is in her mid twenties and yandere Director is in his late thirties.

1:34 AM

The sound of the clock ticking away could be heard as you continue to type away on the keyboard.The last few scenes of the work you've been working on are going to be completed and with new inspiration you continue . Pulling all nighters , dumping strong coffee in your system and an unhealthy amount of rest has been your life for the last six months.

The purrs of your beloved cat taking your attention for a slight bit was actually quite good for your eyes as looking at a screen for a long time strained your eyes heavily. You looked at your cat with a smile. “ Just a bit left baby ”.It wasn't that you had a deadline. It's just that you loved your work. Your friends often made jokes about your intense workaholic routine but you just laughed them off.

“ At this point you're gonna have to marry your own character” , your friend Becky said laughing.

“ Wouldn't be bad you know” ,you smirked at her and she shook her head with a smile.

Being a playwright was your dream that you accomplished just a few years ago. Doing part time jobs and studying were most of the things you did during your college days. So although you were completely new to this field of work , you have gained quite a good amount of fame. Some of your work has been appreciated by the audience and the rookie playwright of the year award was a great feat of accomplishment of your whole life.

Now back to present, with the last word typed away you save your work and then send it to your beta to recheck everything. Stretching your arms out you yawned and finally stood up. Going over to your kitchen and opening a cabinet you pulled out a microwave ramen and decided to settle for it tonight. You decided tomorrow you'd go grocery shopping as you shivered watching the sorry state of fridge. After a few minutes you had your ramen while watching the tv . There was nothing much going on the tv at this time so you settled for a documentary show that was being re-broadcasted.

Oh , it's him. You thought as you slurped on the noodles. Spicey just as you liked it. The documentary was about a famous film director. You had seen him a few times during award shows. He was one of the most successful directors of the time and all of his films were successful as he got the best director awards quite a few times. It must be fate now that you came across this because you were just thinking about sending him your work. You doubted it'd be accepted but still it's worth a shot. You gotta keep trying in this field of job.

Hoping you'd at least have your work checked by him you turned off the TV and dumped the trash in the garbage can. Then after cleaning up you went to bed to get the sleep you very much needed.

____________________

“ I've finished rechecking. It's all good to send. Be assured”, said your beta, Alan .

“Alright. Done” you said clicking the send button. Now if it's accepted you'd get to meet the director and it'll be made into a film. Your genre this time matched with the kind of works he worked on so you hoped your work will get at least the recognition.

“ Man I hope I'll get accepted”

“ Don't worry. I have a good feeling about this and you worked really hard on this so don't lose hope” , reassured Alan. You smiled at him and hoped for the best.

“You wanna get lunch ? My treat.” You asked.

“Why not? Can't say no to free food”, he sheepishly smiled.

Alan was like your little brother. He's been with you ever since your first work and over the time you two bonded as if he was family. He was still a student from your alma mater and he looked up to you a lot. You were happy to have him appreciate you cause there were times when you felt despair but he was the one who always helped you get through tough times.

After eating and bidding Alan goodbye you went to the grocery store. Walking towards the aisle you remembered what you needed and put them in the cart. A carton of milk, eggs, vegetables, sausages ,Nutella oh and you were about to run out of coffee so a jar of coffee. Okay , that's all from here . Then you bought some cooking spices and other necessities. Checking everything you went to the cashier. Paying for everything you went out the store and a cold breeze passed by making you shiver. October was ending and it was getting colder. You pulled your coat closer and loaded your car then drove away to home as you planned on making dinner and having hot chocolate later.

_____________________

2 days later

The sound of luminary playing in the background could be heard as you were cleaning out your closet and filling it with warm clothes. It was one of your favourite soundtracks. It was just so beautiful and gave you lots of ideas.

You remember the earlier phone call. You still couldn't believe it. Dominic Albero read your script and he wanted to have a meeting with you. His assistant called and made you aware about the appointment which is tomorrow night. You're so happy right now. You can't believe your work got recognized by THE director everyone wants to work with. You informed Alan about this and boy was he so enthralled with the situation. He wished you best of luck for tomorrow and you decided you'd celebrate with him if your work gets adapted tomorrow.

[palmviolet]

how to cope with moving to another town for the first time?

im gonna be getting my master's but for that i need to move and it feels scary as hell

i am so late to answering this, so if you've already moved, then congrats, and i hope it went well! if not, right this way...

i've been in my new place about a month now and it's honestly been amazing. but i can say that because it now feels amazing in sort of hindsight? in that i had my ups and downs the first few days, stressed about my decision-making, missed the countryside etc. it happens. now it feels amazing. trust that you'll get to that point. and the things to keep telling yourself when these feelings creep in:

just sit with this feeling. it's okay to feel bad things. (something i'm working on lol i'm very much a 'everything is fine' person. sometimes it's not fine. and that's fine.)

life's about experiences. some of those experiences are stressful and bad. now you've moved you probably have a lot more shit to think about and a lot of shit to do literally all the time. maybe you'll be on tumblr less and going outside more — which is a dreadful prospect when you're thinking about it, but when you're doing it, you'll probably be doing it because you want to. which is one of the hardest things to accept about growing as a person, that our wants and fears will change. unfortunately, moving does change you. so–

main character syndrome it. make four moving playlists and a moodboard for your new room, sit there with your decorations and candles and the music blasting and pretend it's the opening scene to a movie. romanticise the hell out of it because you're growing into a new phase of life, you're going to meet new people, you're going to try new things — it's exciting. maybe tomorrow you'll try the food that will be your favourite for the next ten years. maybe you'll discover a new song to soundtrack your year. maybe you'll fall in love. world is your oyster etc etc

time might run linearly, but life sure as hell does not. you can always say fuck it and try something different. this is another thing that's comforting — that you're an adult, and you can genuinely do what you want. you hate your masters, hate your new town, hate the move? (circumstances permitting) move back! and if you can't move back, look at your life and see what you can change. maybe you can't quit your job but you can start saving to move away from your shitty roommate. you can delete instagram because watching 57 reels every morning makes you depressed and you can find a new place to study that isn't your own kitchen table, like that historic library around the corner you didn't even know was there. you can go to that social event alone and make a new best friend, or just a familiar face to smile at on the street. you can live.

the world is full of choices and that's terrifying but also so very very liberating. social pressure loves to convince us there's a linear narrative our lives should follow — a highly normative, conservative vision of nuclear success, watered-down but still very much present in liberal ideology — and it's simply not fucking true. go wild and follow your dreams and remember that nothing is permanent, very little is irreversible, and you can do what you want. so do what you want.

[raysrays]

Crimson Guardian NSFW

Kyojuro Rengoku x Wife! Reader

18+ MDNI!🚫

CW: NSFW Content, minor angst, controlling/manipulating behavior, fluff-ish.

Y/N POV

Scenario : You've recently married into the respected Rengoku family, and while you continue your work as a demon slayer, life starts to get a bit messy. Balancing your duties becomes a real challenge as you navigate the challenges of married life. You find yourself having to make tough choices just to keep your husband happy, all while debating to stay true to yourself and your calling as a demon slayer.

Marriage. Truly one of the most beautiful milestones a couple can achieve. Marrying Kyojuro has undoubtedly been my greatest accomplishment.

I still remember it vividly, as if it were yesterday. Surrounded by friends, family, and core members, we pledged our lives to each other. Though it wasn't the most glamorous wedding ever seen, it was enough. Because really, all I've ever wanted was Kyojuro, and now, finally, I have him.

For the first few months, our marriage was nothing short of perfect. I moved into the Rengoku estate with Kyojuro's family, assisting Shenjuro with chores and gradually trying to get closer to Shinjuro. Though I'm not sure how successful I was.

It was only six months in that I realized being a demon slayer and a wife wasn't as easy as I thought.

Before our relationship, I was Kyojuro's Tsuguko. He was simply my mentor, and I trained hard under him to get myself where I am today. It was later down the road that we noticed each other's lingering gazes, the occasional flirting, and all the other subtle hints of wanting to be more.

Kyojuro was strong, and I knew he wanted a family, but I simply wasn't ready to give up training and my duties as a demon slayer just yet.

Every day, after helping out around the estate, I would hike over to HQ and pick up where I had left off the previous day, training until the late hours of the night. I would often come home exhausted, which usually caused Kyojuro to worry. As much as I reassured him, he never seemed fully convinced.

Now, here I was, sitting at the dinner table with Kyo across from me. It was a rare occasion for us to eat alone together like this. We made small talk about our day and training, and then he finally stopped eating and put his silverware down.

"Little Flame, I think it’s time we have a serious discussion about the way things have been as of late,” his usual happy smile seemed almost nervous.

I set my spoon down on my plate, giving him my full attention.

“Yes? What is it?”

“Sunflower, you have been working so hard as of late, and it’s quite admirable. I truly admire your dedication to the demon slayer corps and your training!”

“But…?” I ask, confused.

“But… since our marriage, I’ve found myself in constant worry over you. Every time you go on a mission without me, I have to painfully wait for your return. Not knowing whether or not you'd be injured or even-“

“Dead?” I finish.

I saw his body tense up at the word.

“Yes, my love. Dead. I cannot even bear the thought of you never returning to me. It pains me to my core,” he seemed so sad, so worried about me.

I know Kyojuro, I know he didn’t mean anything bad by what he was saying. However, I felt almost offended. He too was a slayer, a hashira. I also had to deal with the fear of him returning with serious injuries or even never returning at all.

Did he believe me to be incapable of protecting myself? He was the very one who trained me. Even though I knew Kyojuro was strong, much stronger than me, it just felt like he lacked faith in me.

“You don’t think I’m strong enough anymore? Do you think marriage has made me soft?” I realized I might have come off a little too harsh, but my emotions were getting the best of me.

His expression seemed surprised, but I could tell. While he may not have used those words, that was definitely the gist of it.

I watched him get up from his place at the table and walk over to me. He pulled my chair out from under the table, then grabbed my hands and kneeled down in front of me.

His big, bright eyes were now staring up at me.

“You are one of the strongest people I know, my love. I know how capable you are, but please remember…”

He brought my hands to his lips, kissing them softly.

“You are my wife before you are a demon slayer. I cannot risk sending you off only for you to never return.”

I could practically hear the desperation and love in his voice.

Kyojuro wasn’t someone who would usually discourage anyone from pursuing something they're passionate about. So if he was now, I knew that it’s something he’s been internally battling with for a while.

“What about you? Is it not the same? What about my worry? What if you never come home to me?” I could feel my face start to heat up. Everything he was saying seemed to come from genuine care, but it felt so hypocritical.

“I am a Hashira, my little flame. I have a certain responsibility you do not have to burden yourself with. I shall retire soon, in just a few years. So please…”

There’s no way he’d ask me-

“Please retire your sword, Y/N. Please stay home for me. Please allow my heart to rest easy knowing you'll be here waiting for me whenever I shall return,” his voice was pleading.

I felt so conflicted. I’d worked so hard. All of these years of training to hopefully become a high-ranking swordsman myself. However, at the same time, I never stopped to consider my romantic life and how being married would affect things.

We both sat there in silence for a few moments, and I finally rose up from the chair, pulling him up off his knees along with me.

I looked up at him, reaching my hand up to rest on his cheek.

“Kyojuro, you are the only one I would retire my sword for. So please promise me, promise me you will always come home to me. Until the day you yourself retire.”

“I promise you, Sunflower. As long as I know you are safe and waiting for me, there is no demon that could ever keep me away.”

I felt his hand on my lower back and the other holding up my chin.

We both leaned in, our lips meeting in a tender kiss.

This kiss started so gently, so lovingly at first. As we pulled away for just a moment, staring into each other’s eyes, we realized how long it had been since we really enjoyed each other’s company.

After that, the kiss only grew hotter and more passionate.

Kyojuro swept me off my feet and carried me straight to our shared room at the back of the estate, the most private spot. It seemed fitting for newlyweds, after all.

As he gently laid me back on the soft futon, I couldn't help but stay focused on him. Kyojuro was simply beautiful. His hair, his eyes, his body, everything about him looked like he was perfectly sculpted.

My admiration was interrupted as I felt him begin to kiss me again. One of his hands traveling to my breasts, gently squeezing it.

The other massaging my thigh.

I feel him pull away from me starting to kiss on my neck traveling all the way down to my chest.

Kyojuro had always known my weak points and how to make me say yes to his every request. He knew my body just as well as I did, and now he was taking full advantage of that knowledge.

I could feel him pressing against me as he moved his hand down my body, lightly touching me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me, wanting more.

Then I heard, Kyojuro's soft voice whisper these words, almost as a demand. "Enjoy this little flame, you've kept me waiting far too long.”

As soon as those words left his lips, I felt myself begin to relax. His movements were so gentle, so careful, so loving.

His fingers trailed down my sides, sending chills through my body. His hands went back up and caressed my neck, making me tremble. He kissed me once more, and I melted into him.

It was as if he had cast a spell over me, and all I could do was obey him. He was completely in control of me.

After a moment, I felt him move back down and remove my underwear, revealing my already wet entrance. His hand slid between my thighs, and I couldn't help but let out a moan as his finger slipped inside me. He was gentle at first, just barely grazing me, but it felt incredible.

"Is this okay?" he asked softly, his breath hot against my ear.

I nodded but I could tell that wasn’t enough for him.

“Use your words my love.” He demanded sweetly.

“Yes Kyo, it’s perfect.” I said, my voice trembling.

He leaned down and kissed my lips before pulling back again, smiling at me.

"I want to be inside of you," he whispered, his voice filled with desire.

"Please," I begged.

He removed his fingers, replacing them with his cock, his tip rubbing against my clit.

"Good girl," he whispered, thrusting into me.

I threw back my head, arching my back and digging my nails into his shoulders. His movements were slow and deep at first and then they became faster and harder, and soon my whole body began to shake. I couldn't stop the moans from escaping my lips, and I couldn't help but beg for more.

When he starts to speed up I know we are both about to reach our limit.

I feel his fingers interlock with mine and his lips pressing against mine again, but this time, he wasn’t just kissing me, he was also letting his teeth graze my bottom lip.

He was biting down hard enough to draw blood.

We were both so close and we were both trying to hold back but we couldn’t anymore. We were finally going to let ourselves release.

I was the first one to let myself go, arching my back as I moaned his name.

Then he followed not too far behind.

After he finishes, we just lay there for a bit catching our breath.

“I love you, Y/N,” he finally breathed out, turning his head to look at me.

I turned to face him as well. “I love you, Kyojuro.”

After that, the two of us drifted off in each other's arms for the rest of the night.

The next morning when I awoke, I was still trapped wrapped in Kyojuro's arms.

After a bit of struggling, I managed to maneuver my way out and make it to the kitchen.

There I saw Senjuro, who was already preparing breakfast for everyone.

“Good morning, Sen,” I greeted with a yawn.

“Oh, good morning, Y/N!”

“I'm almost finished with breakfast. Is my brother awake yet?”

“He should be awake soon. We both have to see Master Kagaya today,” I said, rubbing my eyes.

He stopped to turn and look at me.

“Did something bad happen?” he asked nervously.

Poor Senjuro always assumes the absolute worst in every situation. Well, I suppose in this case it’s somewhat understandable.

“No, Sen, nothing's wrong. Kyojuro and I are just going to inform Master Kagaya of my retirement. That’s all.”

He gave a puzzled look.

“Retirement? Why? Haven’t you been training for years to improve your sword skills to move up in the ranks?” he asked.

He was right. I know I shouldn’t go back on my word to Kyojuro, but I really was having second thoughts about my decision.

Senjuro could probably sense my doubt because his next response was:

"If this is something that you're not sure of, then you shouldn't do it. If you have doubts about this decision, then maybe you're not ready for retirement just yet."

His words really struck a chord with me.

Maybe he was right.

Before I could ponder that any further, Kyojuro had made his way into the kitchen.

"Good morning! How are my two favorite people doing?" he said cheerfully.

I smiled.

"Morning, Kyo. Did you sleep well?"

"I did, actually. Thank you, little flame," he walked over to me, giving me a kiss.

I could feel my chest tightening, nervous about what was to come.

The whole time at breakfast, I felt so spaced out. All I could hear was Kyojuro and Senjuro talking and the occasional grunt from Shinjuro drinking away at the table.

“Sunflower? Are you okay?”

I was snapped out of my daze by Kyojuro waving a hand in front of my face. All three of them were staring at me, kind of concerned.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.”

I shook my head a little and looked down at my plate. I felt bad for Senjuro going through all that trouble to cook, but I simply couldn’t eat right now.

After we finished breakfast, Kyojuro and I headed out.

The thought that this would be the last time wearing my uniform with my sword by my side was so weird and almost uncomfortable to me.

I knew that this day would come eventually, but I always hoped in the back of my mind that Kyojuro would be the one to retire before me.

I had been so focused on training and my duties as a demon slayer that it had never even occurred to me how my marriage would affect everything.

I was now a wife. My first priority should be the estate, and helping Shinjuro while he was in his state of grief, and being there for Senjuro as well.

It wouldn’t be right of me to go against my husband's wishes either. Especially after the intimate moment we shared. Right?

As we made it to HQ waiting to speak with the master I felt my heartbeat racing inside of me.

The room was quiet, I could feel Kyojuro’s eyes lingering on me but I couldn’t bring myself to face him right now.

Both mine and Kyojuro’s attention was shifted as we heard the door open and Master Kagaya entered the room.

"Rengoku, Y/N. It's a pleasure to see you both," Kagaya said, his face as warm as ever.

"It's wonderful to see you too, Master," I replied.

"So what brings you two here? It seems urgent, judging by the fact that you came in so early."

"It is very urgent," Kyojuro began.

He then proceeded to explain our conversation from the night before, and how I was considering retiring.

"Y/N, this is a big decision, and it's important that you feel comfortable and confident in it. Do you think you can fully retire, knowing you won't be able to assist the demon slayers as you are now?" Kagaya asked.

I looked at the master and then glanced at Kyojuro. He seemed so proud and happy that we were here. I could feel the warmth radiating from him.

But, I could also sense the worry in his expression. He was nervous, scared almost.

I couldn't do that to him.

"Master, I've spent most of my life training for the opportunity to become a hashira. To serve the demon slayer corps and protect those who cannot protect themselves. But...I'm no longer just a demon slayer. I'm also a wife, and as such, I think it's only right that I focus on that," I answered.

The room fell silent for a moment.

"If you truly feel this is the right choice, then we support you, Y/N," Kagaya finally spoke.

"Thank you, Master," I bowed.

"Thank you so much, Master! I will never

forget your kindness!" Kyojuro bowed as well.

The two of us left the room and started to head out.

As we exited, we ran into a few of the other Hashira, who asked us about what we had gone to see Master Kagaya about.

They too seemed surprised and a little concerned when Kyojuro explained to them that I would be retiring so soon.

I could tell some of their reactions to the news annoyed Kyojuro. Shinobu used the word “controlling,” and you could see his smile almost falter.

"Controlling" was never a word I would have used to describe my husband. He just loves me, right? He wants to protect me. There's no way my sweet and kind Kyo would ever do anything to control or manipulate me.

Right?

Part Two

[666writingcafe]

Exam Prep, Part One

Barbatos

"Your professor has informed me that lately you have been struggling with the lab portion of your seductive speechcraft class," I calmly tell MC, who sighs.

"I can block advances just fine, but actually trying to seduce someone is proving to be quite difficult," they explain. "I don't feel like I'm sounding genuine, if that makes sense. I mean, I never had that much luck with it in the human world, and it seems like I've not had to work super hard here, which still baffles me, but that's a topic for another day." Interesting. I didn't realize they were that introspective. Most humans aren't.

"If it's any consolation, you're doing better than some other demons."

"Like Levi?" I allow myself to smirk, amused by their observation.

"Exactly. Leviathan either can't bring himself to seduce anyone at all, or he pulls from existing media and provides out-of-context lines that don't fit the person he's talking to. From what I've heard, you at least are trying to be original. We--your professor and I--just think that there's room for improvement."

"Of course."

"So, for today's session, I want you to try to seduce me." Of course, that's the moment Diavolo decides to walk past the room MC and I are in. My back may be turned to him, but I can still sense his energy.

You may watch, but do not disturb us.

Understood.

"What?" MC asks, appearing both confused and terrified.

"I am one of the oldest and most powerful demons in the Devildom. If you can manage to produce some sort of effect on me, then you'll pass your exam with flying colors."

"But I don't know that much about you."

"A demon never has a lot of information on a particular human when they first encounter one, but they can use past experiences and context clues in order to be successful."

"I see." In order to ease their nerves, I kindly smile at them.

"Just try the best you can." MC closes their eyes and begins one of the breathing exercises that I taught them.

Why are you doing this? Diavolo just can't resist the urge, can he?

Their power is heavily tied to their emotions.

That isn't what I'm talking about, Barbatos.

Would you rather I have them seduce you, Young Master? Silence. Excellent.

MC opens their eyes, and immediately something seems different about them.

"You do so much for Lord Diavolo, the brothers, and the Devildom at large," they state. "Any other person would have gone insane from the sheer amount of responsibility, and yet you stand here before me with a cool, calm demeanor."

"Practice," I respond.

"You have most people fooled into believing that this life is easy for you, but not me. I know that you work a thankless job that forces you to put everyone before yourself." They're glowing, which isn't entirely unusual for them, but the color's different this time. It's not completely white like it normally is.

"Deep down, you want someone to take care of you. You have been forced to hold yourself up for so long, and you are utterly exhausted. You feel completely alone, like there's not a single soul in the entire universe that would want to take the time to get to know who you truly are." As they step closer to me, I can see spots of pink mixed in with their white light. I don't know how, but I think they've managed to tap into a portion of Asmodeus's power.

"I want to help you, not because I want anything in return, but because I care deeply about you. You deserve to have someone love you unconditionally." MC gently grabs my hand and leans closer to me. "All I ask of you is to let me in. Allow me to grow closer to you, Barbatos."

One might expect MC to take the opportunity to kiss me, but instead they remain still, staring into my eyes. My heart begins beating faster, and I find it harder to focus on my surroundings. In this moment, I finally understand why everyone seems so enamored with MC. I don't even have a pact with them, and yet my mind is begging them to give me an order to follow.

As MC steps back, the glow emanating from them begins dissipating. They're returning to normal.

Why can't I?

"Barbatos? Are you alright?" Shit. I'm on duty. They're not supposed to see me in this condition.

"You'll do just fine, MC." My voice sounds hoarse, and I have no idea why.

Someone's caught feelings.

I would appreciate it if you didn't tease me, Young Master.

But I'm not wrong.

That is irrelevant.

[leer-chemir]

Izaya Orihara is worthy of attention and understanding

Sorry guys, I really want to vent. I've loved Izaya as a character for almost 10 years now, but I would never encourage others to do the same. However, I will ask you to understand him, because if you refuse, you will only play into his hands, because this is exactly what he expects from you, and that will make him seem even more disgusting to you, because he will gladly tell you how predictable you are.

I don't like the defensive position for Izaya as "he just didn't get enough love and attention" because for him, this is a given. This is what he achieves in order not to become subjective, to keep his distance from people. Of course, deep down, he demands love from others like no one else, but he himself deliberately pushes people away. Primitive, but it works. Even if you, as his sisters, understand how this defense mechanism works, you still have every right to be offended and not want to deal with him until he stops being an asshole.

And can he not be? As someone correctly noted, he is currently on the path to personal growth. Having approached the point of no return, to which he so often pushed people, he had to step over and overcome himself. This process is not yet complete, but if Mr. Narita returns to work on the light novel, I am sure we will see more obvious successes, since Izaya, by his nature, needs quite a lot of time to change. I don’t really understand why you try to compare him with Shizuo. Of course, Shizuo is perceived better by most, at least because he is used to fighting himself without delay, becoming better, while Izaya prefers to ignore problems and try to subjugate them to himself, but not solve them. Of course, this is often a losing strategy, and he constantly gets hit by fate for his weakness and softness.

But I will tell you this: disliking Izaya is disliking a person in general. For what people can be, for how imperfect and often unbearable they are. Izaya does not restrain himself in any way, living only by his desires. For his own pleasure, he is ready to do anything. Isn't this the most human position of all - to want everything when you are so weak and insignificant? To think of yourself as a God when you do not control anything? And despite everything, Izaya will always be just a person. And this is exactly what irritates him in himself and, in particular, in Shizuo. Yes, this is not just the envy of a loner. He is incredibly infuriated by the fact that Shizuo is too strong for a person not only physically, but also spiritually. Someone Izaya will not become and whom for this reason he cannot accept (=love as he loves those who are as weak as he is). I'm not trying to put Shizuo in the best light here, because he, like all people, is also ambiguous.

When Izaya learns to accept his humanity, his weakness, he will paradoxically become stronger and finally outgrow himself and his "flea-ness". This is what the author is trying to convey to the reader: people are complex and require understanding, NOT justification.

That's why he has always admired me and even led me through life. He is just as much a hostage of his own cage as the rest of us. And yes, he had to almost die to take a step forward to change. But better late than never.