#i am. putting far too much energy into this fic

[squirshie]

i want to talk about the house fucking fic but i fear in doing so i would ruin the experience of reading it

[sohnric]

a brief inquiry into online relationships – k. sunwoo

pairing: kim sunwoo x fem! reader

genre: enemies to lovers au, internet best friends au. friends to lovers au. gamer! sunwoo and gamer! reader. fluff, comedy. sunwoo has a big fat crush and is a bitchless loser but is also simultaneously being very annoying and mean sometimes:(

wc: 20k

warnings: swearing, sexual innuendos/jokes/flirting, the reader is referred to with she/her pronouns and called a girl! i call league players virgins :/ (and im right). certain parts are really chat heavy (but what do you expect from an internet best friend au am i right). the reader is said to have dyed hair! I wrote this with a friend in mind yall just get to read it 😔

there's only one person kim sunwoo treasures the most in the whole world, and that person is his internet best friend. there's also only one person kim sunwoo hates with a burning passion, and that person is you. well, imagine his surprise when he finds out... they are the same person.

playlist: fruit roll ups - waterparks / royalty - enhypen

I wrote and dedicate this fic to @csenke 🩷 happy birthday best friend, I hope you like your little present. I dont like being sappy in public, but do know that I love u the absolute most.

a/n: a HUGE thank you to @from-izzy for beta reading and helping me out with this fic so much, listening to me ramble and cry and hyping me up izzy, it means a LOT. thank you @sanaxo-o for beta reading a bit as well. 🫶🏻 ive wanred to write this fic for literally years so im glad it is finally out hihi.

The first time Kim Sunwoo has ever been accused of having a crush on a girl he hasn’t even met in real life yet was on October 11th, 2023. It was a few months after meeting the said girl online through a Minecraft server and talking to her during the night over a Discord call, not being able to fall asleep after and coming to class looking like a zombie from the deprivation of relaxation. After he said the story to his friend Changmin, he got laughed at and teased– all because he said he didn’t want to hang up on his online best friend yet, and she was so full of energy, and Sunwoo wanted to know what she had to say because she was so adorable gushing over how much she loved Paw Patrol as a kid and how she got some magnets for her fridge from her local grocery store and put Skye right in the middle, where she keeps her shopping list. 

Of course, Sunwoo refused this accusation. He does not have a crush on his online best friend– the girl he hasn’t even met in real life yet. He doesn’t like her, because let’s be real, he doesn’t even know what she looks like. Navigating the boundaries of an online friendship was already hard as it was for the boy– was he oversharing? Was he being too much, too annoying at times? – so asking for the girl’s socials outside of Discord or begging for a simple selfie in the chat is far away from the things he’s comfortable saying out loud to her. 

And Sunwoo can’t be into her– because he doesn’t even know her that well. He doesn’t even know where she lives or if the name she’s given him online is her legal name. What he does know, though, is that she’s the same age as him, she’s funny and pretty fucking cool, she has obscure interests like the Spiderman movies or collecting albums of her favorite kpop artists, and her voice is nice over the speakers of his laptop when the two of them call and play Minecraft together in the late hours of the night.

That’s not enough to develop a crush on someone, right?

Right…?

The first time Kim Sunwoo starts to question his own feelings for his friend is also, coincidentally, October 11th 2023. See, he might say that he’s not as dull as one would think after looking at him, but after the conversation he had with his best friend in the morning, something started to click. (Mainly because he just couldn’t stop feeling the blush creeping onto his cheeks, bashfulness filling his composure. Why is it so hard to deny the obvious?)

In the late hours of the night, Sunwoo logs onto the Minecraft server and walks around the world he’s created. He is on a mission of cheering his online friend up– she said something about an exam going terribly wrong in his Discord DM’s just a few hours ago, and although he tried his best to cheer the girl up over messages, he thinks he has to go an extra mile to remind her that life is not as rude and that she’s loved even when she feel like a disappointment. (Just the sentiment of the wording in his head is suggesting that he’s trying to stay oblivious to his own feelings– there is no doubt he is failing, though.)

He checks the people online in the server, noticing she’s not there yet– as he expected, since the girl usually logs on only a few minutes before midnight– which assures him that there is still time to execute his little plan. With a pep to his step, Sunwoo’s character moves through the terribly half-assed house he’s built (that his friend teases him for) and opens  one of the chests in his underground storage area. After taking everything he prepared earlier– for whatever reason, he’s not sure (or just trying to deny the obvious, once again)– he skips outside of the wooden building and runs towards the portal he built leading to her house last week. 

Once she saw the portal outside of her house, she asked him about it. To the question of why he wants easy access to her house at all times, he replied that it’s so he can rob her when she least expects it. Her and him both know she’s not the one keen on mining, so there’s not really much to steal in the first place, but to Sunwoo’s surprise (and relief), his friend dropped the topic quickly, moving on to the next one.

After the vision of his character finally clears and he is left standing right outside of her house– which is a stunning piece of architecture, by the way– he looks around for a bit to find the best place for his little offering.

He settles on the place by the front door of her house and gets to executing his little surprise. Opening the inventory of his character, Sunwoo takes out a bone meal and uses it on the grass blocks next to the door, making all sorts of flowers grow next to her humble abode. When he’s satisfied with the colored petals blooming in their digital world, the boy gets out the pink wool and digs into the remaining dirt blocks on the ground, replacing them with the rosy cubes and shaping them into a small, but telling heart. 

He stands back and admires his work for a bit, laughing at the ridiculous actions he caught himself doing. Sometimes he gains self-awareness in the weirdest of situations, and this is surely one of them– he prays his friend doesn’t log on in this exact moment. He would have no other choice but to jump out of his window and kill himself, he thinks.

Still, he follows up with his initial idea and places a chest next to the heart, filled with emerald and diamonds that he gathered over the last week. He worked hard on them and she kept whining that she still didn't have any– and although he’d like to keep them, he figures he can just get more the next time he’s alone in here, mining. 

A cherry on top is placed next to all of this– a wooden sign that he types “What if we put our Minecraft beds next to each other? xx” on, against all his thoughts telling him otherwise. 

This might be a terrible, terrible idea, he thinks. But the thought of making his best friend smile fuels the boy. Taking one last look at his masterpiece, he snickers. Yeah, Sunwoo. Maybe there really is no getting out of those allegations. Maybe he won’t tell about what he did to Changmin– and he’s lucky the boy doesn’t play Minecraft and has no way of finding out by playing on the same server as the two of you.

Sunwoo logs out of the game, sitting back in his chair. After scrolling through his Instagram for a bit, he hears the familiar sound of an incoming Discord call waking him up from the doom, making him breathlessly accept and wait for the girl’s voice to come out of his headphones, making him feel excited and on the tips of his toes.

“Ya, Steve, was it you who made that cute altar in front of my house?” she asks, making his heart skip a beat.

“Depends,” he hums, “did you like it?”

Every Tuesday afternoon, 6 o’clock sharp, Kim Sunwoo takes the role of the head of the Video Gaming club at his university. It’s quite an easy job, he’d say– since all his responsibilities lay in meeting up with the members of the club in an internet café once a week, playing a video game of their liking– and he also appreciates the fact that he has something to put onto his CV. The extra points towards graduation are also good, and so in reality, he has nothing to complain about– he likes video games and he also likes socializing.

There is just one thing he hates about the Video Gaming club, and that is the fact that Y/N Y/L/N, his best friend’s ex-girlfriend, managed to somehow infiltrate herself into the circle.

Now, you and Ji Changmin dated in the early stages of high school. The two of you met in Science class, and although Changmin wasn’t the smartest when it came to Chemistry, he still managed to make himself your designated helper in all experiments, just to make himself close to you. That slowly worked and the two of you started dating– for 2 months, that is– before you realized Sunwoo’s poor best friend wasn’t who you were looking for and you broke up with him, starting a new relationship with Park Sunghoon, the handsome ice skater from the private school downtown just 2 weeks later.

Changmin cried for three days straight and then one more day after he found out he was replaced, and since then, Kim Sunwoo has decided that he hates your guts– because no one makes his best friend sad. 

Every Tuesday afternoon, 6 o’clock sharp, you waltz into the internet café with your friend Aeri clinging to your side, both of you laughing about whatever you found amusing that day. The sound of your laughter is insufferable to Sunwoo’s ears and the sight of your dyed hair makes his stomach churn with acid– everything about you angers the boy, makes him all alert of your presence. For some reason, he can’t control his anger around you– everything you do infuriates him, makes him wish you were anywhere but in the same room as him.

Can’t you read the room? Do you not realize you’re not welcome here? This is Sunwoo’s territory, and for some reason, he thinks you should respect it. You haven’t spoken to each other in over 4 years, but that doesn’t mean he forgot about everything. Maybe you just keep showing up because you know he hates your guts– you do it out of spite.

Kim Sunwoo won’t have that, though. If there’s something about him that he makes perfectly known in the Video Gaming club, it’s that he is awfully competitive– and for once, he tries to use this quality of his for something good: getting you out of the club.

Because he might be the head of the club, sure, but that still doesn’t give him the permission to kick you out of it for no apparent reason. 

He figures making your life a living hell for the entire hour or two you’re in his presence every week would surely be sufficient enough. Surely, one day, you must have enough.

“There’s someone behind you, dude, watch out–” Intak calls from next to Sunwoo, helping his teammate out. 

Today’s game of choice is CS:GO– too bad for you, Kim Sunwoo is exceptional at shooting games.

He watches his screen and moves his mouse swiftly, shooting the opponent– he thinks it might’ve been Jaehyun or Chan– before they even have a chance at spotting him. His team– Terrorists– are winning by a mile, coincidentally having the best of the best in the group. He’s playing a perfect 5v5 game alongside Intak, Haechan, Yeji and…. and you. 

“Do you even have your screen on, Y/N?” he grunts from behind his computer, glaring at the screen. He notices you not really killing any opponents, and even though he understands that not everyone is going to be the best at every video game that gets played over the course of semester, he’s making sure to trash talk you each and every time you’re even an inch away from perfect.

“Fuck off, I’m trying.”

“Doesn’t seem like it,” he snickers, pointing his gaze towards you only for a split second to watch you roll your eyes at his comment. An annoyed sigh escapes  your throat, making the boy’s veins reek with satisfaction.

“We’re winning anyway, so I don’t get why you’re so pressed about it,” you grunt, tucking your hair behind your ear as you play, momentarily taking your hand off the mouse.

Sunwoo notices your character in his point of view on the monitor– the nickname ‘ceo.Y/N’ shining proudly over the default skin of the terrorist figurine– when a bright, spiteful idea sparks up in his brain. The boy realizes he left the friendly fire option on when assembling the game room, and with that, he’s set on his decision.

You don’t deserve anything nice in Kim Sunwoo’s eyes– which is why he shoots you in the head the first moment he sees you, laughing to himself.

“Yeah, no thanks to you,” he comments as he watches your character drop to the ground.

“What the fuck?! Yo, why did you do that?” you gasp, snapping your head around to point your daggers of eyes onto the boy, frustration dripping off your face. It does nothing to ruin the mood of the satisfied boy, only making him shrug and offer you his brightest smirk.

“You weren’t contributing anything to the game anyway,” he shrugs, “might as well sit this one out, Y/L/N.”

Yes. This one surely will teach you a lesson.

When Kim Sunwoo reaches his room after his shower– at 1 in the morning sharp and feeling too awake for the late hour, since all the hot water ran out due to his roommate’s greediness (curse Eric Sohn’s long ass showers)– he notices a notification shining on his phone in bright light, making him reach for his phone with curiosity. He doesn’t have many friends that would reach out to him at the late hours of the evening, since he talks to most of them during the day anyway, and so even subconsciously, as he reaches for his phone, he expects to see his online best friend’s username pop up in the notification bar.

And he was right– clicking on the Discord notification waiting for him at the top of the screen, he already feels his heart skipping a beat, his insides flowing with immediate warmth despite the cold shower he took just a few minutes ago.

Further shaking out the water out of his hair before plopping onto his bed and reading through the girl’s messages, the boy finds himself smiling at her profile picture. It’s a close up of her Minecraft character standing in front of the little display he put out for her– and he can’t help but feel like this is some sort of a soft launch. Of what, he doesn’t really know– since the two of them are far from dating– but that’s okay. It satisfies him enough. Nobody even really knows it’s him who she’s showing off, but to him, it holds the weight of the whole entire world.

sunpoodle [0:22] – a missed voice call sunpoodle [0:35] – a missed voice call sunpoodle [0:36] – so u dont like me anymore sunpoodle [0:38] – i see how it is sunpoodle [0:48] – everything ok tho? sunpoodle [0:54] – a missed voice call

Squinting at the screen, Sunwoo starts to type out his reply to his friend. Before he has the chance to click send, though, his phone lights up with the incoming voice call from her, leaving him to accept it almost immediately. He hears her voice coming out of his speaker after a few seconds of silence, having his ears perk up and heart beat a little faster.

“Damn, took you long enough,” she hums, making the poor boy chuckle. “I thought you were either dead or ignoring me.”

“I wasn’t,” he replies before settling deeper into his bed, going as far as putting a blanket over him to provide himself the most comfort, “I would never ignore you,” he lets himself speak out, a full body cringe taking over him the second he realizes just how far gone and infatuated he must sound with his friend.

“Oh, okay,” she says, “I was getting kinda worried, though.”

“Worried?”

“Yeah, we didn’t speak at all the whole day,” she replies. And she’s right– Sunwoo was too busy the whole day to text her or check in with her throughout the day. He was working on his assignments with Changmin and Juyeon in the library, and then he had to listen to Eric talk about his crush on the new girl from the café he works at. Before he knew it, it was late in the night and all he wanted to do was shower and go to sleep– his plan was thrown into the bin the moment he got back into his room, though. 

He might have not put his online friend as his priority during the day but if it comes to sacrificing sleep for her, he won’t even think twice.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he mumbles, although something inside of him cheers at the fact that she cares about him enough to want his presence every day.“I was just busy with assignments and socializing.”

“You do that?”

“Strange, isn’t it?” he chuckles, poking fun at himself. There’s no doubt of him being an extrovert, but for the sake of hearing the girl laugh through his speaker– his insides squeezing on themselves with violent tenderness at the sound (what a contradiction)– he is content with simply ignoring the fact.

“What’s up, though?” he asks. “You usually don’t call and I have to pressure you into picking up in some way.”

“That’s not true.”

“Kind of is, when you think about it–”

“I just like to be persuaded,” she hums, making the boy chuckle. 

“Noted,” he says– and it might’ve been just a figure of speech, really, but there is a secret folder inside of his brain that he calls the girl-he-likes-folder, where he keeps all the information and random facts he learns about his friend safely, until he has a chance to use them. “But really, what is it? You seem uneasy,” he notes, making the girl laugh softly on the other end of the line.

There is some shuffling on the other side before he finally hears her voice again. Sunwoo furrows his brows at the ruckus, but he doesn’t mention it– maybe she’s just moving around the room, doing her own things as she talks to him on the phone. It makes his brain wander, though– imagining her cleaning her room, putting things away. Stacking some old papers or throwing stuff into the trash can. The image of his friend is always hazy in his mind– he was never really the most imaginative when it came to stuff he doesn’t know– but he still feels attracted to the girl in ways he can’t explain without sounding absolutely crazy to an outsider’s ear. He has no clear idea of her features– he doesn’t know how long her hair is, what her figure looks like, or what color her eyes are, but he still knows that to him, she’s absolutely beautiful and no reality he could see would break this image he has of her.

The fact that she’s calling him while going on with her life, as if he is an active, real part of it, makes him smile to himself. Every time the girl acknowledges her friendship with him, he feels like he’s on Cloud 9– he doesn’t really know why he needs that validation, though.

“This might sound stupid, but I just wanted to hear your voice,” she says nonchalantly through the speakers of his phone, and with that, Sunwoo is a goner. He feels the world stop turning for a while, his breath hitching in his throat. Something about the girl’s words makes his head spin and thoughts run laps around the walls of his skull– is it just him, or does that sentence sound strangely intimate?

“Why?” he asks on autopilot– because the annoying voice inside of him needs answers. 

“Hm? Oh, I dunno,” she quickly utters out before she makes a sharp turn in the conversation, completely disregarding her previous statement, “did I tell you about that party I’m invited to this weekend?” she asks instead, making the boy shake his head in disbelief and throw his face into his pillow to stop himself from screaming.

“No,” he sighs, “but tell me now.”

“Okay, so–”

The rest of their conversation is drowned out by his thoughts. Don’t get him wrong, he is actively listening to what she has to say– how she doesn’t know what to wear and she’s not sure if she wants to match with her best friend– but he is also subconsciously focused on the fact that the way she talks in her low tone, keeping her voice down to not wake up her roommate next door. It makes the atmosphere that much more sincere and intimate. He finds himself admiring his friend’s excitement and joy, the energy she has when she talks about how her day went and how she can’t stay keeping up with one topic for long– getting lost in the track somewhere along the way, making Sunwoo remind her what she was even talking about in the first place. Everything about the girl is mesmerizing to the boy, and before he has a chance to notice, he’s falling asleep to her rambling on the phone, eyelids heavy in comfort and sleepiness. 

“Are you still there?” she asks, receiving only a soft hum from the boy on the other side. “Am I boring you?”

“No,” he half-whispers, “I’m just comfortable. Keep talking,” he says, hugging his pillow to his chest and putting the phone next to his head. He hears a soft scoff on the other side of the line, a kind, sweet voice lullying him further into dreamland.

“Okay, keep using me as your bed time story, then,” she jokes, a tint of faux offense in her tone, “I’ll disconnect the call when you stop giving me fakely interested hums after every other sentence.”

And with that, Kim Sunwoo falls asleep to his online best friend talking his ear off on a Discord call. How could she ever think that wanting to hear his voice was stupid? He understands– he thinks that perhaps, he’d choose listening to her even over hearing his favorite song.

The idea of teaching you a lesson with his competitive nature is quickly thrown into the bin when the next week comes as the game his friends choose for the afternoon is one that he is not fond of. Why does he not like this game, you may ask? Well, simply put– he is absolutely terrible at it. 

The love for League of Legends is a telling sign of someone’s virginity, though, so Sunwoo thinks he can take pride in the fact that he is not a bitchless loser by playing it in his free time. (Don’t mention the fact that he is a Discord user and currently does not have a girlfriend. He will ignore it for the sake of his reputation.)

“I’ll go bottom,” Intak says as he chooses his champion in the lobby, making Sunwoo huff. He’s not really good at playing the mage, he’s terribly, terribly bad at going jungle, and tanks and fighters are equally as easy for him to play as learning the Pi number by heart (very difficult). Soon enough though, he finds that the rest of the roles are quickly divided in his team, and that leaves him nothing else to do than to just humbly take the responsibility of the middle lane, equipping the only champion he’s played before– Fizz.

With him locking in his character, the image on his monitor morphs into the loading screen, letting him once again scan the names that belong to his team. Having 10 members in the club is easy enough to divide into two teams by 5, which he is thankful for, but the teams are almost always randomly selected– which makes him angry only at times where he gets the obviously weaker players. 

This time around, surrounded by Intak and Yangyang teaming up on the bottom, Soobin taking over the jungle and Yeji resigning on the top lane, Sunwoo is satisfied to see he at least doesn’t share a team with you this time around– because that means he can do everything in his power to make your life a living hell while playing the game.

“Try not to die in the first few seconds, Sunwoo,” Soobin snickers as the game starts and the boy aimlessly moves towards the middle of the map, moving his character with the mouse. Sunwoo only salutes at the taller boy, making him giggle.

“I’ll try not to, boss!”

Sunwoo’s quest in this game is to protect the tower and farm as much as he can– so that destroying the opponent’s tower is easier and opens up the shortest way to the enemy. After seeing how his character moves in the game– don’t make fun of him but after so much time since he last played the game, he’s forgotten– he puts his head into his hands and mourns, noticing that he foolishly chose an assassin. It’s not that they’re bad per se, it’s just that Kim Sunwoo is much better at League of Legends when he has some distance from the opponent. Which, when he wants to attack, is not a feature Fizz awards him with. 

Much to his surprise though, the middle lane seems to be empty. There is no one from the opposite team walking up to him and trying to start combat, and that puts him at ease. Maybe he can do his job right– for at least a few minutes before the tower is damaged enough that the enemy realizes they need to protect it. 

And so clueless Sunwoo enters the circle under the tower, attacking it with the red minions by his side, veins flowing with satisfaction that hey– maybe he will be successful with something in this game. He surely doesn’t need the validation of his team, but look– all he needs is to not embarrass himself in the process of playing this game. His pride is precious to him. 

The talk around the internet café slowly drowns out around him, providing him only a background noise. He doesn’t need to listen to his team’s strategy– he knows he isn’t really included in it, as the weakest link. Hyperfocusing on the game, he almost jumps when two characters suddenly appear from the bushes– not skilled enough, Sunwoo didn’t think to check them when he arrived in the middle of the map– attacking him.

The nicknames aerichandesu and ceo.y/n shine proudly above the characters of Annie and Vi, both of the females cornering him and making him scowl at the screen. You don’t do much damage to him, he notices, but there is something about the way Aeri plays that tells him that he is royally fucked in this game.

Only a few seconds of combat pass before the banner saying First blood appears on the top of the screen, embarrassing him and making the rest of the team laugh at his death. He finally acknowledges that he was tricked, and as the seconds pass of him waiting to be revived, his eyes meet yours from across the room– and oh how he wishes to wipe that smirk off your face.

“As expected,” Soobin chirps from Sunwoo’s right, making the poor boy sigh and cross his arms defensively at his chest.

“They teamed up on me!”

“That’s the point, sweetheart,” Yeji hums from the corner of the room, “you’d know that if you knew how to play.”

“Oh, shut up, you losers…” he grunts as his character revives, making him hurriedly move towards his designated place again, noticing his team’s tower slowly falling apart due to leaving you in there unwatched. 

Once he appears back under his tower, he watches you retract from your place. Sunwoo takes this as his opportunity to show you that one on one, you’re not going to win against him– and so he chimes forward after you, using Fizz’s trident to deal you magic damage over the next couple of seconds. The clicking of his mouse onto your character resonates through the crowded café and the banners showing his teammate’s successful kills do nothing to help him focus on the task at hand– but your health bar is slowly dropping, and that satisfies the male.

“Not so strong without Aeri now, are you?” he teases, watching as you aimlessly start to run away from him, no longer focusing on killing his character.

He doesn’t get a verbal reply from you, but one thing is certain– the poor male forgot to keep a check of his own health bar, and while chasing after you with greediness, wanting to be the one to get you down, he foolishly gets shot down by the enemy minion following him. The kill is still written off to you though, and when his screen freezes with the death announcement, he watches you cheer– eyes glimmering and a victorious smile spreading across your cheeks– before you high-five with your best friend to your right.

Turns out that maybe you don’t need Aeri to carry you in League of Legends. At least not when it’s Kim Sunwoo you’re playing against– and that puts him at a big of a disadvantage.

Is this how you feel every time he conspires against you? Because if so, he has to applaud you– you have an awfully big patience. He can handle it for one Tuesday out of the semester, but if he was in your place, he’d be running away from the room the moment he dies in the game again, all because of you.

Running around, out of breath and heaving for oxygen, Kim Sunwoo starts to contemplate if all of this was even a good idea. He should’ve known the whole thing was bound to be a failure when the first mishaps started happening, but against his best assumptions, he decided to go on with it and try to figure things out. 

The first thing wrong with this whole entire thing is that it wasn’t even his idea in the first place. Hyunjae suggested that the whole friend group goes to play laser tag at the end of the week, to wind off a little before finals. And Sunwoo agreed– because that sounds like a lot of fun, doesn’t it?– and expected to just read out the details of it in the groupchat. He thought turning up to the place would be the only thing he had to do, but oh how he was wrong. 

Lee Hyunjae decided he didn’t really feel like going to laser tag on the single day where all of them were free– which meant that they either cancel the whole thing or go without him. And since Eric Sohn was all too excited for the idea, Sunwoo decided he won’t disappoint his dear roommate– in fears of getting sabotaged or killed in his sleep if he declines– leading into making Kim Sunwoo being in charge of the whole thing because as the only Aries of the group, he takes his leadership seriously when he has to.

And so he sucked it up and called the laser tag place, asking for a reservation for 5. Another failure hit him in the face when he was announced that they can only let them play if they have a group of ten people, and before he had the chance to let the rational part of his brain take over and cancel the plans, he was left agreeing and saying he will find 5 more people to come with them. 

Sunwoo figured that Eric, as the born extrovert, will have no problem finding 5 more people for the laser tag game. He was wrong, though, when his friend announced that all of his friends magically have some plans for that exact Friday– he thought that there’s a party that somehow, only the loser friend group he is partaking in wasn’t attending, for some reason– and Eric could only think of one person that would come, which left Sunwoo with solving the issue of finding 4 more people to come to play laser tag with him.

So he brought out the big guns– the Video Gaming club group chat. 

sunwhooo [9:31]: hello friends i need 4 people to join us for laser tag tomorrow sunwhooo [9:31]: anyone down meet us there at 5pm

And with that, he considered the task done. Too over with the whole thing and too tired of being the only one with common sense in his friend group, he didn’t check who agreed to his invitation. He figured that someone will either show up, or they will shamefully go home. Which option it’s gonna be is the problem of the day after– in this moment, he needed sleep.

He appeared in front of the laser tag arena on Friday, 4:45 sharp, waiting for his group to arrive. He felt like one of those tour guides in the middle of big cities– all he was missing was a flag in his hand, or an umbrella– either or– waving around and calling out for his friends. Five minutes after him, Changmin and Juyeon arrived, tailed by Eric and a boy that’s introduced to him as Jake Sim– who is, just by the way, a carbon copy of Sunwoo’s dear roommate both with energy and some of their small mannerisms. 

Five minutes before they were supposed to enter the arena and get the safety tutorial on how to play, 2 members of his club came up, smiling widely ear to ear. If Sunwoo had to guess who would say yes to his invitation the fastest, Myung Jaehyun and Lee Donghyuck would be first in line– and he was right. 

“Where’s the rest of you?” he asked after greeting the boys, and right in this moment, after hearing their reply, was when he knew he should’ve canceled the plans the moment Lee Hyunjae turned down his own offer.

“Y/N and Aeri’s bus was late, but they’re on their way now!” Jaehyun said, smiling ear to ear. “Y/N texted you in the groupchat, but I don’t think you saw it.”

“Pretty sure I have her number blocked,” he grunted under his breath, sighing to himself. Was it too late to leave now…?

“What?”

“Nothing.”

And that’s how he ends up in this mess. You and your best friend arrive 2 minutes late, but you’re still let in– much to Sunwoo’s dismay. Everyone seems to be excited– almost too excited– when they choose to play the game in the complete darkness, and before Sunwoo has a chance to protest, he is thrown into the laser tag game, nothing but a laser gun in his hand and a vest with the sensoring clutching to his chest.

He can’t see anything, he’s constantly bumping into the obstacles, the arena is too big for his own liking– because he doesn’t really know where he is and can’t see anyone else, making him feel strangely alone and kind of afraid– and it’s so hot inside that sweat is slowly dripping down his forehead, making him irritated.

Once in a while, he hears a scream from somewhere inside of the arena when two players meet. He contemplates just sitting on the ground and waiting for the game to pass– not really that mad about being the last one in the ranking– but the last remains of his pride are telling him to keep going, to keep trying.

He’s good at shooting games! What is he doing?

Taking a deep breath in and out, he makes a run for it– hoping he won’t be met with the wall and break his neck in the process (now that would really take the crown for the worst thing that could happen in relation to the laser tag), before he’s met with the sound of footsteps in his ears, making him painfully alert of his surroundings.

Turning his head around, trying to see where the sound is coming from and who he has to protect himself from– or shoot and get some points in, that is– he feels his body meeting full speed with another person, a yelp coming out of their throat right before the sound of clothes rustling and body mass hitting the floor resonates through the place.

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath, dropping the gun, “are you okay?” he asks, genuine concern lacing his tone. 

“Watch where you’re going, for fuck’s sake!” he hears your voice call out of him… and the last remains of genuine concern leave his body at that, irritation swimming to the shore.

“How the fuck am I supposed to watch where I’m going when you fuckers chose to play in complete darkness?!” He yells over the music– that is, just for the record, an atrocious EDM remake mix of early 00s songs– and lets his eyes adjust to the darkness for some more, watching the outline of your figure on the ground slowly appear in his retina.

Acting on auto-pilot, though, the boy reaches out an arm towards you, trying to help you to your feet. The view of your face is hazy in his eyes but he can still make out the scowled expression you offer him before you take his hand and let him drag you to a standing position.

“So much sympathy in one man, wow,” you grunt, shaking your head at him once you’re standing tall in front of him. “Wouldn’t hurt to apologize, you know–”

“This clearly wasn’t my fault–”

He starts, but stops himself mid-sentence when he sees you point the laser gun towards him, shooting. The interaction is short– it goes by almost too fast for him to register it– and before he has a chance to let the sensor cool down and aim towards your chest as well, you’re running away from him, full speed skillfully through the maze. 

“Hey!” he yells out, but is much slower at following you. Is he doing something wrong? Why is everyone suddenly so good at navigating the space?

And while Kim Sunwoo is competitive– there was an agreement that the last place pays for everyone’s meal after– sometimes, his spirit is overshadowed by his emotions. Frustrated, irritated and a little mad, although he pays much effort into shooting at his opponents and gathering up all the points he lost while he was aimlessly walking through the place like a blind man, he just can’t seem to catch up and crawl out of the last place.

Standing outside of the room and looking at the scoreboard after, having the rest of the team pat his shoulder and thank for the meal, his eyes land on you as you’re the last one to leave the arena aside from him.

“Looks like being good at CS:GO isn’t enough to be good at shooter games in real life, huh?” you tease, pouting at the scoreboard in mock sympathy. “Thank you for the meal, Sunwoo. I’d like a large fry and a cheeseburger, by the way. Make it extra cheese.”

Maybe he should’ve canceled the laser tag the first moment he wanted to. 

You know what? Maybe he should cancel the Video Gaming club altogether, while he’s at it.

Sitting around the study room in the library, accompanied by Eric and Changmin arguing about something and enveloped in a gray, fuzzy hoodie, Kim Sunwoo lets himself roll his eyes at the aimless quarreling and puts the hood of his sweater up, leaning back on the uncomfortable chair. After a couple of minutes spent listening to the fight– that’s about the assignment at hand, just for your information– Sunwoo feels himself zoning out of the room before he’s brought back to reality by the buzzing of his phone on the table with the incoming notification.

At this point of the uneventful afternoon, he would’ve replied back to anyone within a few minutes– anything to pass time, he figures– but when his eyes zone in on the name on his screen, he is left clicking at the Discord bar quicker than the speed of light.

sunpoodle [6:44]: can u call rn? notsteve [6:45]: no notsteve [6:45]: im at the library rn notsteve [6:45]: why

“You can’t just completely ignore that point of the essay, because it’s going to look like we didn’t do enough research,” Changmin argues his point in the background, the loud voice of Sunwoo’s roommate almost startling him as he tries to prove otherwise.

“We can’t just include every. single. point. in it, though, or else it’s gonna become a wholeass bible at this point.”

“Better to exceed the word count than to hand in an unfinished essay–”

sunpoodle [6:48]: oh so u hate me notsteve [6:48]: pretty sure this is emotional manipulation

“What do you think, Sunwoo?” Eric speaks up, turning his head towards the last boy of the three– the only one that hasn’t spoken up about the matter yet. It’s true that he didn’t really do much work on the actual essay yet– only some very, very brief research last night– but that didn’t mean he suddenly felt like doing much more. 

“Hm? Me?” 

sunpoodle [6:49]: dont care sunpoodle [6:50]: youre probably with some other bitches

“Yeah,” Changmin chimes in, “say your part. It’s three of us here, so the majority will go. What do you think?”

“Oh, I don’t really care…” Sunwoo hums without much thinking, eyes glued to his phone screen.

notsteve [6:51]: ??? sunpoodle [6:52]: anyways i just wanted to show you my child sunpoodle [6:52]: but you’re clearly not interested so

“Are you even listening?” Eric asks.

Sunwoo hums in response, automatized. Did the words really register in his brain? You can bet they didn’t.

“Are you texting that online girl again?” Changmin scoffs, Sunwoo’s ears perking up just a little bit at the mention of his friend.

“Yeah.”

notsteve [6:53]: a child??? notsteve [6:53]: is this another sylvanian families toy  sunpoodle [6:54]: no:(( notsteve [6:54]: what is it then notsteve [6:54]: because we both know youre not responsible enough to have a child

“Still can’t believe you developed a crush on a girl you don’t even know,” Eric sighs from next to him, the previous topic of their conversation long gone when it means he can make fun of his roommate for being absolutely, totally infatuated with a girl in his phone screen.

“How can you even know she’s real?” Changmin jokes. “For all you know, that could be a 50 year old white male trying to get nudes out of you,” he adds, making the shortest boy snort at the comment.

“I don’t have a crush on her,” is all that leaves Sunwoo’s mouth, although his tone is not very argumentative– just mindlessly spoken out, most of his attention still glued to his messenger app.

sunpoodle [6:55]: are you underestimating me?? sunpoodle [6:55]: im offended sunpoodle [6:56]: might just block u. and here i was considering sending u a pic of my dog…

“Sure you don’t,” Eric sighs, “because you’re totally not smiling like an idiot right now.”

“Shut the fuck up…” Sunwoo breathes out, rolling his eyes. The smile on his face freezes and drops at the unnecessary comment, but his cheeks grow a soft pink hue to them, only further proving his friends’ point.

notsteve [6:56]: A DOG????”,?” notsteve [6:56]: show it to me notsteve [6:56]: show it to me rachel!!!!

“When are you going to ask her for a picture or something?” Changmin pries, kicking his friend to his shin under the table.

“When she asks first,” he shrugs, “I don’t wanna sound like a creep.”

“I bet you already do,” Eric jokes, making his roommate glare at him. 

“Besides, we call often,” Sunwoo shrugs, “I know she’s not a 50 year old man. And so far, I’m content with this. It’s not like it would be going anywhere in the first place.”

“You don’t know that,” Changmin says, and something about that sentence makes Sunwoo momentarily glance away from his phone screen, furrowing his brows at the male.

“Yeah,” Eric chimes in, “you don’t even know where she lives. For all you know, she could be just down the street and you two could be going on embarrassing lan party dates together, or something.”

“Or– and get this–” Sunwoo ironically argues, “she could live on the other side of the country. Which, logically speaking, is much more likely.”

“You never know until you don’t ask,” Changmin shrugs, “I mean, it doesn't hurt to know.”

Shuffling his feet under the table, Sunwoo thinks to himself. There is a reason why he never really asked his online best friend any personal questions– and that is because he was simply afraid. Afraid of what he might find out.

No matter the distance, it’s scary for Sunwoo to know about his friend’s whereabouts. Because if she lives far, it means the chances of ever meeting her are unlikely. If she lives close, the chances rise– but he’s also completely terrified of the chance to meet her because, to put it blankly, he is petrified of the image his online friend would have of him when she meets him in real life.

Hiding behind the cloak of the internet is much easier for the boy. His friend doesn’t know what he looks like, what his mannerisms are in real life. And it’s not like he is faking his personality online– because truth be told, he’s acting the same way in his Minecraft server then he would in any real life situation– it’s just that he is strangely insecure of if he’d still be liked in the same way, had his friend met up with him in real life. He’s nervous of awkward silence. He’s stressed out about the fact that maybe he won’t click as well with the girl he met online. It’s all strange and new to him, and that’s why he never really dares to ask.

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, “it’s all just kind of weird.”

At this point, he doesn’t know if he fears meeting up with his friend online, or never seeing her with his own two eyes more. 

sunpoodle [6:57]: doggo sunpoodle [6:58] – sends one picture sunpoodle [7:02]: wow youre ignoring me again sunpoodle [7:05]: why do i even try at this point… sunpoodle [7:08]: teaching my dog to bite u if he ever meets u irl notsteve [7:09]: how are u gonna do that notsteve [7:10]: BUT OMG THATS SUCH A CUTE DOG notsteve [7:10]: BEST BOY sunpoodle [7:11]: i have my ways… sunpoodle [7:11]: but he says thank u so i guess we will let it go for now

Sunwoo chuckles at your reply, making the rest of the boys in the room look at each other with knowing eyes, shaking their head in disbelief. It’s not that they’re disapproving of their friend’s little (big) crush on the girl he met online– they’re supportive of whatever makes their dear bundle of sunshine happy– they just fear that this whole thing… might not end the best for the young gamer.

notsteve [7:12]: u like me too much to make your dog bite me notsteve [7:12]: admit it sunpoodle [7:13]: im resuming with my lecture!! sunpoodle [7:13]: he is small and fat but he is strong. do be afraid notsteve [7:14]: all that for not paying attention to you for 5 minutes? notsteve [7:14]: your actions speak for themselves, honey <33

“Right…” Eric awkwardly clears his throat, calling the attention of the enamoured boy, “shall we dwell deeper into your online relationship, or do you want to help us with the group essay for a change?” He asks while kicking the boy into his shin lightly, to make sure he has his full attention.

“Essay please,” he replies, nodding to himself. There is no way he is going into details of the embarrassing crush he has on the girl living in his phone.

sunpoodle [7:15]: what can i say life isnt fun without my jasper :// notsteve [7:15]: try not to die as i work on this assignment sunpoodle [7:16]: dont lie u dont do those notsteve [7:16]: unfortunately i do:(( notsteve [7:16] – sends one picture

Sunwoo points his camera so only a part of his laptop is shown with the study room in the background– making sure neither his friends or him are in the picture– before sending it to his friend. It’s not like she needs proof– Sunwoo knows that despite the playful teasing, she understands his need to put in some work into his education– he just feels like slowly testing the waters with sharing more and more of his real life with his online best friend.

“Okay, so let’s get back to what we were talking about before,” Changmin says, “I was thinking we should at least briefly talk about the points that are against what we’re trying to argue here, but Eric says it would completely disregard like, half of our work, so…”

sunpoodle [7:17]: wait is that at SNU notsteve [7:18]: yea notsteve [7:18]: how’d you know sunpoodle [7:18]: oh my god ?? sunpoodle [7:18]: i study there too

You know what? Forget the assignment– it’s due in a week. It can wait 7 more days.

“Guys, uh…” Sunwoo hums, hands shaking and his heart doing somersaults in his chest, “I’d actually like to go back to the topic of my online friend for a sec…”

Although Kim Sunwoo feels like the world stopped turning– or shifted in its axis, either or– since he learned about the fact that his internet best friend goes to the same university as him, and therefore, could be just about anyone he sees in the halls on a day to day basis, much to his dismay, it did not. The world didn’t stop turning and nothing really changed, all events happening around him as if he wasn’t just gifted with the life changing information: and that meant that besides the exam week fastly approaching him, he still had to host the Video Gaming club the Tuesday after.

He still has to turn up to the internet café and take the attendance sheet with him, even though the groupchat announced to him that they’re all going to study for the incoming exams instead. Because the rules are rules– as the head of the club, Kim Sunwoo has to host the meetings every week, or else the rights for the club will be revoked and all the privileges that come with having one will be taken away from him before he even has a chance to blink.

It’s already bad that he will be the only one on the attendance sheet– if he doesn’t decide to fake some signatures, that is– but now, he is alone and bored, and as it turns out, playing games alone isn’t as fun as playing them with someone else. The competitive nature in him yearns for multiplayer games, it longs for the social contact he so effortlessly has with someone when playing a video game with them. He thinks he built a decent group out of the other video game lovers at this university, and he didn’t even realize it up until now– when he’s sitting alone in the internet café, in the far back on one of the couches. 

At least he has the chance to test out the new Playstation console they installed here.

Legs spread wide on the small couch, having the whole place for himself, Sunwoo turns on the Test Drive Unlimited game, clicking through the settings. He is not a big fan of racing games in general, but he figures it’s the only game that he can play alone and still have at least some fun, and so after picking out a fancy car to drive around the world, he focuses on racing and fulfilling the side-quests the best he can.

Until a figure squeezes itself right next to him, startling him. “Oh, Jesus!”

“It’s Y/N, actually,” you snicker, making the boy’s mood drop at least two notches, eyebrows furrowing at your sudden arrival. What are you even doing here? He thought no one was available this week?

“You came?” he asks, and despite the sincerity of the question, the tone sounds kind of spiteful.

“Yeah,” you shrug, “am I not allowed here? I thought the club is on every Tuesday?” 

“It is,” he agrees, a hint of annoyance in his voice, “I just didn’t expect you to come.”

“Didn’t expect, or didn’t want?”

“Both,” he grunts, before he turns his head towards the screen again, ignoring your presence completely. The noises coming out of the console provide you two with some background music, but it’s still not enough to diffuse the tense atmosphere. Sunwoo hates every second of you by his side– your thighs touching in the small space due to his dominant manspreading– even the sound of you breathing making him immensely annoyed.

“What’s your problem with me anyway?” you suddenly speak up, breaking the silence. Something about the way you ask the question puts a dagger through Sunwoo’s heart, for some reason, but he doesn’t dare to drop his tough facade.

“I don’t like you, that’s all,” he shrugs nonchalantly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he focuses back onto the game, trying hard to not fail at his sidequest. Everything but focus on the difficult conversation beginning to take place right in this moment, right? 

And why do you even care? It’s not like the two of you are friends– anything close to that, even.

“Why?” you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief. “I mean, I don’t get it. I did nothing wrong, and you seem to be getting on fine with the rest of the girls, so I don’t think that’s the problem here,” you lightly laugh, trying to take some weight off the situation.

Sunwoo’s jaw hardens. He doesn’t want to have this conversation right now. 

“At first I thought it was just harmless teasing, something you do for fun or attention, but then I realized you were being serious about it, so I really… I really just wanna know what’s the deal behind all of this,” you grunt, swinging your arms in the air at the last word, putting more emphasis on the end of the sentence. You’re starting to get frustrated, and that’s slowly ticking off Sunwoo’s patience.

“Oh, you don’t know?” he scoffs, turning his head to you. “Then you’re even worse than I thought.”

“What are you even talking about?” you yelp out, the eyes of others in the internet café turning towards you with furrowed brows, annoyed glares pointed at your little commotion due to being disturbed while playing their favorite games.

“You’re my friend’s ex, that’s why,” he mutters, before scoffing at you and pointing his eyes back to the TV screen. 

There is a moment of silence following his confession. He’s not sure what is the reasoning behind it– if you’re rocking your head, trying to remember what he’s talking about, or if you’re just shocked that he is so loyal to his friend. Maybe you’re in disbelief. Maybe you feel ashamed. Truth be told, Sunwoo doesn’t really care.

“Ji Changmin?” you ask, suddenly sounding surprised. “This is about Ji Changmin?” 

Sunwoo hates the way you sound almost… amused? 

“You can’t be serious. That happened over 4 years ago! There’s no way either of you is still hung up about that,” you say, shaking your head at him in disbelief.

The boy snickers, talking to you, but not really offering you any eye contact as he continues on with his game. “Maybe you didn’t think it was serious, but I surely won’t like someone who did my friends wrong.”

“Sunwoo, we were kids.”

“Does that mean it didn’t count?” he scoffs.

“Yeah, basically,” you bluntly agree, a bitter laugh escaping your throat. “Ask Changmin. I’m sure he barely even remembers–”

“Well, I remember him crying over you for two weeks straight, so maybe stop bragging into spaces where you’re not welcome,” he snaps, finally looking at you.

He chose a bad moment to have eye contact with you, though. The second the words leave his mouth, hurt flashes by your face, your expression instantly dropping. Your orbs get a little sadder and there’s a wrinkle between your eyebrows that makes Sunwoo’s stomach drop, guilt washing over him in waves strong like tsunami. Realistically, he shouldn’t care about hurting your feelings– by his logic, you must have even deserved it– but there is something in him that wants to physically crawl out of his skin and give himself a big, fierceful slap across his face for the words he just said.

Because who is he to tell you you’re unwanted in the club? The other people there like you. Everyone gets on with you just fine– it’s not Sunwoo’s right to ban you from the space he created, just because he has personal vendetta against you.

You’re not even doing anything wrong… Maybe he did fuck up.

“O-okay–”

“No, wait,” he hurriedly says, reaching out an arm towards you instinctively so he can stop you if you wanted to leave. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just… I care about my friends a lot, that’s all. It’s… nothing personal,” he explains, humming to himself.

Except he’s lying, and you both know that. Everything about this was nothing but personal– the targeted jokes, the mean comments, the rude energy he has towards you any time you show up. Everything about his behavior and his annoyance whenever you are around is personal, because it involves you, and only you. 

There’s no way he can save himself now, though. The words are already said and out there, and even though he regrets them, there is no way Kim Sunwoo is apologizing.

A cloak of silence falls over the two of you again but this time, it’s slowly eating Sunwoo alive. It’s biting on his arms and crawling on his insides, carving out every harsh word he’s said to you into skin, making it unbearable for the boy to continue just aimlessly sitting next to you. He has to do something.

“Do you want me to leave?” you ask in a soft, quiet voice– a tone slightly familiar to him. It makes his ears perk up and his stomach squeeze on itself. It’s a weird, visceral reaction, but he won’t really allow himself to put much importance into it.

Instead, he sighs and turns to you with the controller in hand, offering you a soft, guilty smile. “No,” he shakes his head, “you can pick your own car and play for a while as I order us some snacks, if you wanna. I’m also pretty sure there’s Smash bros on it, in case you wanna play with me when I get back.”

The air is tense and awkward, and Sunwoo curses himself from the way events unraveled. He feels like he is betraying his best friend, in a way, but the guilt he carries in him is too big to not try to dissolve. 

You take the controller from him and nod, chewing on the inside of your cheek. He thinks this might be the beginning of truce– not a friendship, just tolerance– between the two of you, but he is soon taken out of his delusions when he sees you clicking off the game and opening Smash bros instead. 

In that moment, he knows he is going to get his ass kicked, and he knows it’s going to be personal.

The remote control in his hands feels like a weapon after he managed to finally stick the strip of LED lights all around the ceiling– and with how things have been going (the previous ones not working and them falling down every few seconds this time around), it might as well turn into one if it turns out he failed at installing his newest room decor again. He will use it against himself, he thinks– there is not much will to live left in him after the whole day, leaving him weak and exhausted.

Praying a little before trying for one last time, Sunwoo clicks on the red button of the remote control in his palm, squeezing his eyes shut– and after wishing on all 11:11s and all eyelashes, it seems– the LED lights finally turn on and illuminate his room with a dark red glow that he quickly turns towards a more muted purple, because it’s easier on his eyes and he kind of doesn’t want his room to look like literal hell upon walking in.

The boy’s heart leaps in his chest. It finally worked– he is every gamer girl’s dream! (And to stay true to the statement, he reaches towards his phone, clicking on the Discord app, approaching the one he dreams about.)

notsteve [10:45]: ive got these really sick lights if u wanna come over ;;) notsteve [10:45]: they tried to scam me twice but omg look notsteve [10:46] – sends 1 video notsteve [10:46]: they can change colors hihihii

Ever since the moment Kim Sunwoo learned that his dear online best friend loves to be persuaded– her words, not his– alongside with the new knowledge of the fact that they both walk across the same halls and visit the same lecture rooms, the dynamic he had with the girl shifted just the tiniest bit.

First of all, they call more often. Not only during the late hours of the night, but also during the day– whenever either of them feels like chatting for a while. There is also an increased volume of voice memos and random pictures of their surroundings, which didn’t use to happen before. And believe me, Sunwoo doesn’t want to honk his horn too much, but he swears the amount of casual flirting increased at least twice the size– from his side anyway. But he promises his friend is reciprocating! Hell, she even starts it sometimes! You have to believe him.

sunpoodle [10:47]: and here i thought you died notsteve [10:48]: almost notsteve [10:48]: i couldnt get it up :((  sunpoodle [10:48]: i didn’t know that was a problem ://

Sunwoo snorts at that, heat rising to his cheeks at the comment. 

notsteve [10:49]: god i hate u notsteve [10:50]: no that’s not a problem for me sweetie notsteve [10:50]: i can show you if u come over cough

The moment he sends the last message, he regrets it. Every day he spends talking with his friend, the boundaries and lines get pushed and pushed, and he can’t seem to know why. Is it the prospect of maybe meeting her one day? The idea of somehow sweeping the girl off her feet and getting to know her beyond the level that the online space gives him– in a more deep, personal way?

Why does the idea of getting to see her with his own eyes, the idea of touching her, make the poor boy so flustered and excited? It’s not like either one of them actually initiated any real meeting in the first place– all of it was just half-jokes and invitations. He wonders when the day comes when he will be able to just nod and say yes to any of it– he wonders when she will feel comfortable enough to actually set a time and place, ordering to meet him there. He would drop anything– cancel any plans– just to run and meet her. 

sunpoodle [10:53]: i could get convinced sunpoodle [10:53]: to see the lights irl i mean sunpoodle [10:54]: nothing else…..cough sunpoodle [10:54]: youll have to clean first tho 

After the replies flood in, Sunwoo immediately relaxes. The girl doesn’t seem uncomfortable– quite the opposite, actually– and so he takes it as a sign to continue the playful nature of things, subtly pushing the idea of a meet-up more and more. For some reason, Sunwoo feels like it should happen soon– although no time is running out, he feels pressure somewhere in the bottom of his stomach and quiet buzzing in his fingertips any time the thought of his friend crosses his mind– and he knows it will only go away if he finally meets the girl. (Or it might even get worse– either way, he desperately needs to find out.)

notsteve [10:56]: my room is super clean!! notsteve [10:56]: and my bed is comfy sunpoodle [10:57]: proof or im just gonna assume youre lying

The boy tussles in his bed, his hair getting messy in his sheets. The music playing in the background only further pushes the intimate atmosphere, and so after receiving your message, he doesn’t waste much time in opening his camera and putting effort into the angle of the picture he’s going to send you.

He makes sure not much of his face is shown. His phone screen mirrors mostly the white fabric of his pillow– that is now tinder purple with the LED lighting– but in the right corner, the majority of his tousled hair is shown. It looks soft against the sheets and he makes no real effort in tidying it, since he thinks it adds to the aesthetics of the picture. A glimpse of his face appears in the picture as well– only his left eye, though. It looks sleepy, hooded, and after squinting at the screen for a few seconds, Sunwoo decides to hit send. 

The line is once again pushed a bit farther, making him wonder if his friend will follow in his footsteps and send a similar photo back. It’s secretive enough, yet also daring enough to make the other side wonder and fantasize– what does the rest of his face look like? Did she see him around? Does she recognise his face? 

…does she find the glimpse attractive? (God, Sunwoo, get a fucking grip!)

notsteve [11:02] – sends one picture sunpoodle [11:03]: i feel like a victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time

The reaction makes Sunwoo’s heart pick up at pace, a dumb smile running to his cheeks. If anyone saw him right now, he’d get bullied and picked on until the rest of his life– it’s hard to hide the feelings he tries to keep under control, though. It’s already difficult enough to deal with them on his own– he bets bottling it all up and pretending they don’t exist would even result in making it all that much harder.

notsteve [11:04]: WDYMMMMM notsteve [11:04]: be serious for once sunpoodle [11:04]: oh i AM serious sunpoodle [11:04]: i mean that bed sure does seem comfy o:))

Sunwoo feels like he is going to faint soon. Hell, he feels like the world is suddenly turning faster and it’s hard to keep up.

notsteve [11:05]: i heard its even comfier when you cuddle i mean what who said that sunpoodle [11:06]: im open to trying that out for myself

There are pools forming in Sunwoo’s palms during the course of the conversation, but they only deepen when he realizes that maybe he has to be the one to make the first step and initiate something actually real. Something that isn’t just mysteriously looking selfies in the chat or silly conversations about cuddling and meeting up that could turn into reality, but aren’t, and for what reason is making him absolutely insane.

And so he picks up all of his remaining courage and starts crafting the message inside of his head. How does he bring it up? How does he make it sound real? Like he’s being serious– that he wants to meet her and will turn crazy if it doesn’t happen soon? 

The semester ends in a few days and lord knows if his friend lives anywhere near the campus. Knowing that he wasted his only chance and opportunity would absolutely destroy him, no matter if it’s Christmas or not. 

Before he has a chance to send the carefully crafted message, though, the tone of a new message in his phone makes his attention perk up, reading out the words she’s sent to him via Discord and making his heart drop to the deepest pits of his stomach.

sunpoodle [11:10]: in all seriousness tho we should hang out sometime sunpoodle [11:10]: since we live on the same campus and all lmao sunpoodle [11:10]: (im trying to be so normal about this)

Well, that’s sudden. And unexpected. The boy feels himself grinning, resulting in biting down on his bottom lip to keep himself from screaming out. It’s finally happening– and he wasn’t the one having to write it down first. It’s not only him that seriously wants to meet up, and that has him metaphorically bouncing against the wall of his newly decorated room.

notsteve [11:10]: oh my god its happening notsteve [11:11]: everyone stay calm sunpoodle [11:12]: LMAO bE SERIOUS FOR ONE SEC sunpoodle [11:12]: would love to meet outside of ur bedroom first tho  notsteve [11:13]: omg ofc that was just a jokey joke notsteve [11:13]: just tell me when and where n ill be there notsteve [11:14]: im free literally whenever except from when im not and even then ill make sure i cancel any other thing sooo sunpoodle [11:15]: what about after exams? sunpoodle [11:15]: im busy on tuesday but i can do any other day sunpoodle [11:16]: they opened a new café close to the campus if u wanna see?:)

Sunwoo feels on Cloud 9. It’s finally happening and it’s so close– in just a week. More than 7 days, sure, but it’s still close enough– much closer than never, as he once presumed. Tussling a little in his bed, he makes sure his mouth is covered with his pillow before he lets out the scream he’s been holding for the last few minutes. 

If Eric hears him, Sunwoo is gonna try to convince him that he just stubbed his toe. Nothing else.

The boy is painfully aware of the fact that he’s acting like a teenager in love for the first time– kicking his feet, giggling, thinking of his crush before falling asleep– but frankly speaking, he doesn’t really care. In just over 7 days, he can prove Ji Changmin and everyone wrong: he doesn’t have a crush on someone he hasn’t met before. Because in just over 7 days, he will meet the presumed love of his life and look at her with his own two eyes for the first time.

That day somehow feels more important than his own birthday. Maybe he should get the date tattooed… He’ll think about it.

When he finally takes his face out of the soft pillow, he notices his room went dark. When he reaches for the remote that belongs to the newly installed LED lights, he finds it not working. In any other circumstances, he’d consider either drowning himself in his bathtub or jumping out of his window– since he and Eric live on the 6th floor, it would be high enough to cause the damage needed– but right at this moment, he feels like nothing could ever break his mood again.

notsteve [11:20]: about the lights tho…

Sunwoo doesn’t really know how he grew to love video games. If he really thinks about it, perhaps he could say it was just how boys always turn out– fascinated with anything electric that had a cord attached to it (he once managed to make the power go out for the whole street when soldering his old pair of headphones that stopped working in one ear), but there was also something so fun about gaming that managed to make the boy stick to it– and that thing was how easy it was to make friends during it.

When he was little and his dad bought him his first game boy for Christmas, he not only managed to boost in front of everyone at school during recess by playing with it, but he also managed to lend the device to everyone who stared at it with even the tiniest bit of desire in their eyes for too long. Sunwoo knew not everyone was as fortunate as him, and playing it was so fun– he thought no one should go without trying the game boy at least once. The other kids at the playground kept going back to him to play with his toy and the friendships eventually blossomed to the point that the people around him stayed even beyond the video games– and that’s how Sunwoo met his first ever friend, Ji Changmin. 

Sunwoo always liked having a group of people around him. He enjoyed when his friends from high school would come over to his house and play with the Playstation console he begged for his birthday. He didn’t mind anyone borrowing his phone during class and trying to solve the most difficult level of Geo Dash (since he’s the one that got the farthest in the game), because it meant he got to talk to the desperate gamers during break and have someone to run to the convenience store to buy snacks with afterwards.

He loved going to internet cafés, because even though the initial friendship he had with Eric Sohn and Lee Juyeon came around because they asked him to play Valorant after finding the poor boy alone, waddling into the place completely lonely during his first week of university, the bond got deeper and he can’t imagine his life without the two men in it anymore.

Sure, video games are fun. He likes to play shooting games because he enjoys winning. The competitive nature in him thrives during video games– he loves to tease his opponent, he loves to show that he’s the best. Yeah, Kim Sunwoo enjoys spending his time in the virtual world, escaping the mundane reality. But if he really dwelled deeper on it, he doesn’t think playing Minecraft would be as enjoyable if he didn’t talk to his online friend on the server every day, or if him and his friends didn’t go out and eat dinner together after a round of Overwatch in the late hours of the day.

Which is why he created the Video Gaming club in the first place. To connect people– to play games with the ones who need a buddy in their life. It made him smile to see people that met because of his club hanging out together even outside of it– he felt like he was doing something good. Sunwoo prided himself in the fact that he was the one to connect people together through his hobby, that he could share precious moments and make precious bonds in his circle through gaming. 

Maybe that’s why the last meeting of the club for this semester made him so emotional. Truth be told, he didn’t think the Video Gaming club would make it big– hell, he thought not many people would care to show up each time. As a pat on his back of some sort, Sunwoo decides that the last game of the winter semester should be his favourite.

“Can’t believe you got us playing Minecraft of all games, what are we, 11?” Chan mutters from next to the club leader, making the boy snicker.

“Just say you’re embarrassed about the nickname you chose when you were 11.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Okay, mega_dino, I’ll believe you,” Sunwoo hums and nods, hearing his friends giggle as the younger one takes a hold of his gaming mouse.

Squinting his eyes at his screen, the club leader makes sure everything is set before the game starts. He already moved all of his important items from his main house into an underground hiding place of which coordinates he’d written down before getting to the internet café– knowing that his friends would want to sabotage him as soon as he lets them play on the server he carefully created. He knows letting them play on a different one would be much easier, but he kind of prefers to have the upper hand of owning a couple of diamond swords already, and he’s also too lazy to set up a new one. (And he would have to pay for it– which he isn’t really a fan of. Money is tight when you have to buy new LED lights off Temu every other week.)

“Are we starting already? I miss Minecraft,” Intak whines from the other side of the table, a glass of coke sitting in his hand.

“Why are you saying it like it’s a children’s game?” Sunwoo shakes his head at the comments. Ever since he announced the game of choice for the week, all he’s gotten were either complaints or dreamy sighs about how nostalgic it’s gonna be. Is Minecraft not cool anymore? Should he get a new hobby?

“Kinda is,” Yeji laughs, making the boy roll his eyes at her.

“You’re just mad you’re missing out on all the fun,” he argues, “heal your inner child a little. Make that pretty house you’ve always wanted!”

“I fuck with Minecraft,” an innocent voice lands into his ears from the opposite of him– a voice he would often curse out and cringe at just because of it’s sheer existence in his proximity, but now tolerates in favor of keeping peace in the room. The comment still startles him, though– he didn’t expect anyone to agree with his point. Not if it’s you, anyway.

“Can’t believe you two finally agree on something,” Aeri sighs from your side, the girl always glued to your hip. “You do realise you’re having an advantage if you’re letting us play on your server, though?”

“It’s not like we’re playing extreme survival tournament, come on guys–”

“You aren’t,” you shrug, “don’t really know about the rest of us,” you comment, meeting his eyes with a smug look, a teasing grin slowly slipping its way onto your lips.

“I’m banning anyone who tries to kill me today from the club,” Sunwoo suddenly announces, making everyone sigh at the dramaticness of his theatrical words. “Forever.”

“You can’t ban anyone over a game–” Haechan chimes in, but is cut off by his peer instantly.

“I will call it harassment and bullying,” Sunwoo shrugs, “try to argue with that.”

“You’re just begging to get targeted at this point,” Aeri mumbles, shaking her head at him. She’s right– but Sunwoo is also kind of confident in his defence abilities. 

Unless he gets ganged up on, of course.

Which could happen– truth be told, he’s had it coming.

“Less talking and more gaming, please,” Yangyang calls from the corner, “I wanna steal Sunwoo’s diamonds now. Turn the shit on.”

And although Sunwoo doesn’t really like the implication of his friend’s words, he doesn’t argue. Mainly because 15 minutes have already passed and the club is only supposed to go on for an hour– which leaves the 10 of them only 45 minutes left to mine and do something meaningful. The owner of the server also moved the spawn point the farthest away from his house– in hopes of them not finding it and putting TNT all over the premises. (If they manage to craft some in the limited time space, that is. He doubts it, but truth be told, he can never be too sure.)

“Okay, I sent the IP of the server into the groupchat, so just type it in and press the Play button on the left and it should take you instantly here,” Sunwoo exclaims as he clicks on his server and connects to it, walking around the spawn point with his character for a bit, waiting for the rest of his group to arrive.

Pressing the TAB key, he keeps checking the usernames of the people jumping in. Once mega_dino turns up, he lets out an amused chuckle– there’s nothing that tops the nicknames you made when you were 11. Sunwoo’s email address scares him to this day, but he is too lazy to make a new one, since all of his subscriptions and social media are tied to it– it does make sending official emails to his university coordinators that much embarrassing, though.

Some nicknames are recognisable– such as yejiiiji or haechanahceah, but some are less decipherable, leaving him guessing who could be the one joining the game. He doesn’t ask about them, though, thinking that figuring it out as he plays will be more fun– when one nickname he recognises all too well suddenly shows up on the list of players, making his heart jump in surprise.

What is his friend doing on the server at this time of the day? She doesn’t usually play in the early hours of the afternoon– leaving her sessions to evening or late night. That’s when she calls Sunwoo and asks him to help her with mining (or begging for his diamonds, which he sometimes rejects, but complies with on the days he is the most weak to her cuteness). 

He considers pulling up his phone and texting her on Discord to notify the poor girl about the influx of new players on the server. She must be confused– maybe even scared, who knows– to see so many new people playing at the same time. The server Sunwoo created was a bit small, hosting only a few of his friends and a couple of people he met online, so a big amount of players would surely make it seem like someone hacked him, right?

“Is everyone in?” he asks instead, hearing everyone let out excited hums and nods.

He furrows his brows. The server says 10 people are currently connected to it, but if his calculations are correct, the number should be 11– everyone from his club and his online best friend, sunpoodle.

He does a double take on the list, shaking his head. He counts the people in his head over and over again, a little frustrated. Why is everyone saying they’re in? It’s clearly not adding up.

Looking up from his computer, he eyes the rest of his friends in the café. Everyone is playing soundly and happily, it seems, paying him no mind as they get accustomed with the new world and warm back up to the controls of the game they haven’t played in ages. 

Everyone but one person. Everyone but you.

Instead, you’re left staring at him with stern eyes. The look you offer him is sharp, maybe a little hurt– and at the moment, he doesn’t know why. Confusion is the only feeling jumping around the walls of his brain, making an unpleasant crease appear in between his eyebrows. Gears slowly turning, he tries to figure it all out.

You’re not playing. You’re not paying attention to the game. It’s like you know it all– like you’re so familiar with it, as if playing it daily. As if you know the server he made. As if you have your house in it, decorated with a cute offering in front of the door, a portal to his own home residing in the front yard.

It happens quickly– the realisation. He finally makes the connection. It dawns on him why you look so surprised. Why you look so shocked, so disturbed. 

Because if you’re the only unmoving one on the map right now and his online friend is not the one to play on Tuesday afternoons, there is only one explanation. 

“Oh my fucking god,” leaves his lips, albeit a little involuntarily. His voice is hoarse and harsh when he says the words, a final nail in the coffin for you as you stand up, the sound of the wheels of the chair churning against the floor, making everyone’s eyes snap to you.

You don’t turn off the game before you storm out of the room, giving him a clear view of your back, the character with the adorable skin you’ve picked out staring back at him blankly in the game. For a second, he doesn’t follow you– letting himself process. Everyone turns to Aeri for answers, as she’s the closest with you, but they get nothing as the girl just shrugs, equally confused, before she runs out of the room to find her best friend.

Sunwoos' ears start ringing. He feels like throwing up. 

This can’t be…

There’s nothing more in this world that Kim Sunwoo enjoys more than playing Minecraft. He enjoys mining with music playing in his headphones. He loves crafting and making his house look perfect– just like little him always wanted it when he watched all those videos on youtube growing up. He likes to prank his friend Juyeon by putting random dirt blocks all over his house, or stealing all of Younghoon’s sugar cane when he’s offline, too lazy to grow some himself. He likes to teleport to his friend’s house and leave little surprises at the door, only to hear her call him a few seconds later, her cheerful, yet soft voice repeating in his ears even after he turns off the game and goes to his bed, letting her stories lull him to sleep. 

There’s nothing more in this world that Kim Sunwoo enjoys more than playing Minecraft with his online best friend– the two of them ganging up on the dragon or entering the Nether together to find some glowstone for her house, because she wants it to look aesthetically pleasing. There’s nothing more he enjoys than helping her with little tasks and fighting off creepers away from her property, making sure they don’t blow out all the hard work she’s been putting in.

There’s nothing more in the world that he enjoys more than talking with his online friend during the mundane hours of the day, her messages making him hide his giggles in the back rows of his lecture halls. Nothing he enjoys more than her laugh, her jokes, her voice, her online presence. It calms him and sets him on fire all at once, and he doesn’t think he’s ever cared for anyone this deeply. 

How has he never noticed that the person he hates the most is also the same person that he’s pretty sure he’s in love with? How has he never noticed it was you all the time?

And really, there’s nothing in the world Kim Sunwoo enjoys more than playing Minecraft with you. This time around, though, no progress in the world is made and your voice is not talking his ear off in the background. He shuts off the computer and leaves the place, not giving anyone an ounce of explanation.

You don’t text him in the evening like you always do. There’s no night call to help him sleep better.

He doesn’t turn the LED lights on in his room either, contemplating his life in complete darkness.

Nobody’s seen or heard of Kim Sunwoo in just a little under a week. Actually, that is an over-exaggeration– he went to take his exams, and he also went grocery shopping when he went out of ramen and his signature comfort food: red tasty KitKat bars– but other than that, it’s like the boy has disappeared from the face of earth.

There is no Video Gaming club, since it’s officially break time now– for only 2 weeks, but still– and he is declining every single invitation to hang out coming from his friends. He’s simply not in the mood to go anywhere or do anything, and so he spends his days locked away in his room.

Nothing is able to cut off his stream of thought. He’s not listening to music, so the occasional sounds of his roommate moving somewhere in the shared apartment are the only background noise to his loud inner voice. The elevator music usually playing in his head is replaced by a screaming match, and although he wishes it would stop, he can’t really control it– until the sound of his door opening makes him jolt away from the nightmare he’s living in.

Usually, he just tells Eric to fuck off and leave his room– since he is not in the headspace right now to spare anyone kindness, it seems– but when the disgusted face of Ji Changmin enters the place, Sunwoo knows there is no escaping this interrogation.

“Man, it stinks in here,” the boy grunts, moving through the obstacle course Sunwoo’s room has turned into in the few days he hasn’t bothered to put away his dirty laundry. 

“Go away,” Sunwoo says. It’s a weak attempt– he already knows he lost this battle.

“Yeah, no,” Changmin shakes his head before moving to the window, opening it. “Eric orders a wellness check on you, so I’m not leaving until I figure out what’s wrong. I was told you left the club early the last time?”

Sunwoo doesn’t offer him a response. All Changmin can do is guess in this situation, and trust me, although they’re best friends, sadly, they still haven’t developed telepathy– and so the conversation is a little tougher than the squirrel-like boy would prefer.

“Did something happen?”

Sunwoo recognises it’s already dark outside, the sound of cicadas landing into his ears through the open window. He doesn’t know how long he’s been glued to his mattress, but it makes him feel a little foolish. Not more than his previous actions, though– that surely takes the crown.

“I have a crush on Y/N,” Sunwoo speaks into the existence, startling the boy.

It’s weird for the boy to call you by your name in regards to his feelings. While he was so sure of his growing adoration for you when he spoke to you online, unaware of your real identity, it’s much harder to admit it to himself when the person he spent countless nights dreaming about finally turns into reality, and it’s not the form he expected. It’s confusing. It’s overwhelming– it leaves him thinking. Why did it have to be you?

“What?” Changmin asks, genuine shock and surprise coating his tone. “I thought you hated Y/N.”

The words sting like a slap to his face. He hated you. How could he ever be so reckless with his words to you? How could he be so mean? You must hate him now.

“Didn’t you have a crush on that online girl? What– I’m confused, man…” Changmin trails off, finally sitting at Sunwoo’s bed, the weight of his body making the mattress shift under the lazy man’s figure. 

“She’s the same person,” Sunwoo explains, the weight of his words making heaviness fall over the whole room, coating it with deep silence.

Changmin must think he’s foolish. He must think he is being crazy– hell, he must judge him for liking someone who once broke his heart, even though he was unaware it was the same person that made him feel so loved just by talking to him online. 

He cares about what you think more, though. Do you never wanna see him again? Do you hate him? He would hate himself, if he was you. 

Does he hate you? Does he want to see you again? Is your friendship over?

Did he lose you?

He hasn’t spoken to you in what feels like forever. Sunwoo’s throat closes on itself, making a real, visceral emotion run through his whole body and hit right in his chest, close to his heart. The corners of his eyes burn and he feels like running out of the room straight onto an ongoing traffic– he is unsettled. He feels terrible.

“Dude, are you crying?” Changmin asks with a shiteating grin on his face, pointing towards the younger one’s face. 

“No!” Sunwoo bluntly replies, voice hoarse and scratchy, harshly wiping off the tear that managed to roll down his cheek– almost slapping himself in the process. 

Changmin laughs. He laughs. Like it’s funny. Like it’s unserious and nothing is going on, like there is nothing to be worried about, and Kim Sunwoo is just being his overdramatic self, as always. Changmin laughs as if liking someone who once broke your friend’s heart is silly and not a big deal. As if not recognising someone you like online in real life is a normal experience, and not completely embarrassing– as if being mean to the same person you claim to adore is fine, and nothing to hate yourself over.

Sunwoo is conflicted. Talk about cognitive dissonance.

“Why are you laughing? It’s not funny,” Sunwoo pouts, the familiar wrinkle appearing in the middle of his eyebrows again, making his friend roll his eyes at the boy’s distress.

Changmin sighs. “It kinda is, if you think about it,” he shrugs, “you claim to hate Y/N, but turns out you’ve been in love with her all along…”

“You’re really not helping.”

“Well, what do you want me to do?” Changmin snickers. “I think this makes it easier for you. I know you were nervous about meeting her in real life, so this kind of takes off the pressure, since you already know each other.”

Sunwoo looks at his friend like he’s crazy. Does he not get the full weight of the situation? Does he not realise how serious this all is?

“What are you even talking about? Do you not hate me?” Sunwoo asks.

“Me?” Changmin asks, his head turning to the side like a confused puppy’s. “I don’t think I’m the person you need to worry about– although I’m sure you worry plenty– why would I hate you for liking Y/N?”

“Because she is your ex-girlfriend?” Sunwoo mumbles, twisting in his bed to have a better look at his friend. 

He is met with a few seconds of silence. He is starting to think his whole life is a joke and he is in some sort of a weird knock-off of the Truman show. How can you and Changmin both have the same reaction to his undying loyalty? He is being taken for granted, that’s for sure.

“You utter buffoon, that was ages ago! I honestly forget we even dated sometimes, it was so short-lived,” Changmin laughs before he rests his back against the wall of Sunwoo’s room, getting more comfortable in his new position. He knows the conversation isn’t over yet– there is more on the boy’s mind than the past relationship.

“Oh,” Sunwoo hums. 

“Yeah, oh,” Changmin laughs. “I honestly thought there was more to your hate towards Y/N, but I never really asked because I thought it was some gamer stuff or something that I couldn’t give two shits about. If I had known it was all because of my relationship from high school, I would’ve set the record straight a long time ago.”

“Well, maybe you should’ve.”

Sunwoo feels defeated. Like a deflated balloon. The weight on his shoulders stays the same despite the newfound information– because truth be told, this was never the problem in the first place.

And he is aware of that. Changmin is as well– he knows his best friend a little too much.

“But that’s not all there is to it, is it?” Changmin hums, poking the boy’s side with his long finger, burying it into his hoodie-covered flesh.

Sunwoo’s averted gaze and the chewing on the inside of his cheek is enough of an answer. “What is it?”

“It’s just… I don’t know how to feel about Y/N anymore,” Sunwoo confesses, snickering to himself. “Like, online, she was this perfect angel, like– don’t laugh at me now, you know I’m fucking sensitive– she was just… she was everything, you know?”

Changmin hums. “And in real life?”

“In real life, we were never really close and I hated her. How can I like someone I so strongly dislike in real life? It’s stupid…”

“You only hated what she did to me when we were teenagers, Sunwoo. You made yourself loathe something that wasn’t even there,” Changmin says, smiling sympathetically at the boy. “Do you think she is suddenly a different person to the one you got to know online just because she made a few mistakes when we were young?”

“I dunno…”

“I think you do know, you’re just scared to admit it to yourself, because you know you were a dick to her,” his best friend bluntly announces, watching Sunwoo wince at the words. Truth hurts– but it’s what he needs to hear. Because Changmin’s right, and Sunwoo is too tired of keeping all of these doubts hidden.

“Changmin, I can’t like her–”

“Why?” the boy cuts him off. “Because you said so? You were so big on saying how much you loved her for who she is, without knowing her in real life and knowing what she looked like. And sure, I made fun of you for it countless times before– but don’t you think you know her well enough by now? And don’t try to tell me you don’t know her just because you met online, because you know you’d be a fucking hypocrite.”

“But it’s Y/N.”

“Does that make any difference?”

Sunwoo moves from the inside of his cheek to bite at the dry skin of his lower lip. After tugging at the chapped mess, he feels iron on his tongue from tearing off a piece of his skin, eyes still pressed sternly into the ceiling. 

Does it make any difference? Does Sunwoo like you less now that he knows who you are? It was never about the looks for him– and god knows he barely even knew you in real life. Saying he wasn’t interested anymore would make him a hypocrite. 

Every time he thinks of the night talks you two shared and the secrets you’d tell him, trusting him with anything and everything, his heart still stummers in his chest and his stomach does that weird thing everyone in the romantic movies his roommate Eric watches talks about– but now, the girl has a face and a voice, and Sunwoo can’t say he hates it. He can’t say he hates you.

“I guess it doesn’t,” Sunwoo whispers, saying the obvious.

He still wants you. Just the way you are. Sure, he was shocked– anyone would be– but the feelings he has for you are still the same; it’s just the hate that slowly left his body, disappearing like the puddles of rain on the pavement on a sunny day. 

He can’t hate someone so important to him. How foolish of him to once think you were the bane of his existence.

“So why don’t you two just talk it out?” Changmin asks, pointing out the obvious.

Sunwoo plays with the skin around his cuticles for a while, nervously picking at the loose skin and making himself bleed once again, the nerves getting the worst out of him. “I think I’m a little scared.”

“So I was right. You’re scared she will push you away because you were a dick to her all those times before,” Changmin once again states the obvious.

“Basically,” Sunwoo says, his insecurities slowly slipping through his mouth and out to the wild, hanging in the air. “As much as my feelings didn’t change, I think hers might have. And that’s… that’s scary.”

In Sunwoo’s eyes, what you and he had together was special. He never wanted to lose you to something like this– over spite, a foolish lack of judgement. The thought of never talking to you again is making his insides crash on themselves, guilt slowly, but surely eating him alive. The best thing that’s ever happened to him might be royally fucked over, and there is no one else he can blame but himself.

“Well, you don’t know that. And although I know you might be too scared to find out, you two both need to have a talk. Don’t you think you owe each other that much?”

Changmin’s right. He almost always is– he doesn’t know why Sunwoo ever thought the older one needed protecting. Like a pouty child, Kim Sunwoo is comforted by his best friend’s words, maybe even a little scolded and enlightened by the dimpled boy. The appreciation in his heart almost outgrows the worry, but there is still a you-shaped hole in his chest that he feels the need to fill– only if you allow him to.

He didn’t expect for it to end up being you, but he doesn’t hate the idea. 

He’s not opposed to it. He welcomes it, because 

It’s still the same you. In whatever form, in whatever shape– he knows your soul, and he fears nothing will ever take away and move the feelings he treasures for you to another place, to some other.

They’re reserved for you only. (Also, he always thought your cunning smile was nice to look at. He just tried to suppress the idea of it deep, deep within his mind.)

“We were supposed to meet tomorrow,” Sunwoo hums, “I’ll see if she… still wants to come.”

Changmin smiles. “I knew you were smarter than this.” 

The backhanded compliment would rile him up on most occasions– this time, though, he knows it’s deserved.

One would say Kim Sunwoo didn’t think much before going up to the new café that opened downtown the week after exams, just like you two scheduled. Why?

First of all, he didn’t really check in with you to see if the offer is still up and if you want to meet him after all of this. Second of all, he turned up almost 35 minutes too early, since he was so nervous pacing around his flat that he physically couldn’t stay in the closed space anymore, and third of all, he’s fairly certain he put two different socks on when he was dressing himself, and after further inspection by the front door of the coffee place, pulling his jeans up to take a look, he finds out his suspicions were correct.

The thing is, though, against popular belief, Kim Sunwoo thought almost a little too much before going to the scheduled hangout. He thought about it the whole night before– and the whole previous week, if he’s being honest. He thought about it so much it consumed his every waking thought, leaving him all over the place, distracted and distressed. On most occasions, Eric had to ask a question five times before he was heard by his dear roommate, and if he wanted a real answer out of him, he had to gentle parent him through the conversation.

Sunwoo thought about it so much up to the point that you were all that was in his head. You and your last conversations on Discord which he spent the whole week rereading, you and your house in Minecraft that was left untouched since the last time you two played together (he checked). You and your laugh and the gentle, soft voice you only used with him on your calls– the voice that lulled him to sleep and make him feel butterflies in his stomach, unrecognisable to the hardened tone you used with him whenever you met up in real life when the conflicts he used to stir got the best out of you.

You and your cunning smile. You and your piercing, playful gaze. You and your hair that always kept falling into your face when you were crouched over the keyboard. It’s almost laughable how much he managed to pay attention to you in real life before knowing you were the same person he spent months adoring over the internet– the universe really works in strange ways sometimes.

So really, Kim Sunwoo has thought a lot about you and you two meeting before actually leaving the house; which could also very well be the reason why he didn’t text you to see if you still want to see him in the first place– in fear of being declined, in fear of being rejected by the only person he so deeply craves the validation from.

If you don’t show up, he will just go home and pretend none of this ever happened.

(Or at least he hopes he can.)

The more time he spends standing in front of the coffee shop, though, the more his hope of ever seeing you again gets smaller and smaller. Minutes are slowly passing him by like last summer, and he swears he’s never felt the passing of time more than right in this moment. He feels like he is gaining 5 years every 5 minutes that he’s standing in the middle of the pavement– the clock striking well past 20 minutes of when you were supposed to meet.

He will give it 10 more minutes, he thinks. 20, at most. Maybe he can wait an hour. Maybe you got stuck in the traffic. Maybe you got confused with the time…

Or maybe you’re just not coming, and he has to accept that.

Kicking the rocks under his feet while also trying to get out of the way of people walking past, he puts his hands deep into his pockets. He would rather die than to embarrass himself in front of you by texting you, and so he figures that if he just waits a few more minutes, God will surely give him a sign of when to stop holding back his tears and go back home…

“You look like a kicked puppy,” a voice– teasing, yet also a bit cautious– falls into his ears, making him perk up and look behind his shoulder. God must really love him today, he thinks.

No words escape his mouth for the time being. His brain goes short circuit a little at the sight of you– and in that moment he fully realises that he didn’t actually expect you to come, and that makes him feel even worse about himself. Relief washes over him like a wave of tsunami, the surprised look adorning Sunwoo’s face disappearing in seconds as he tries to manage his racing heartbeat.

“You came,” slips out from between his lips, making the boy immensely embarrassed with his choice of words. 

“I did,” you nod, pressing your lips tightly against each other, an awkward half-smile doing nothing to calm down Sunwoo’s nerves. “I figured you either come and we figure this out, or you don’t and I get something to treat myself to chase down the disappointment.”

You’d be disappointed if he didn’t come. Just the sentiment makes Sunwoo’s heart do backflips in his ribcage– how could he ever think he hated you? 

“Kind of same, actually,” he replies, nodding.

An awkward silence falls over you two like a weighted blanket, making Sunwoo’s stomach churn in discomfort. This is not how he imagined your first meeting to be– but then again, it’s not like he is meeting his online best friend (if he can even call you that anymore) for the first time. He tries to find the memory of your first meeting somewhere in the depths of his mind, but much to his dismay, he is left unsuccessful. He never really deemed it that important before– curse him and his reckless teenage mind.

“Uhm,” you hum, scratching the back of your neck, “I was… the bus was late, by the way. I didn’t purposefully let you wait to like, get back at you or something,” you suddenly explain, your lips stretching into a sympathetic smile.

The explanation doesn’t matter to him anymore. He doesn’t care if you came 20 minutes late and if you took the bus or if you built a portal in the back rooms of the very café you’re supposed to enter in a few minutes– all that matters is that you came and that you’re here, right in front of Sunwoo’s eyes, and you’re not pulling out a machete or an axe on him as a revenge for all the times he acted wrongly towards you in the past.

“Oh, no worries,” he hums almost immediately, “you’re here now, and that’s all that matters,” he nods. 

After another shared, prolonged look between the two of you– one in which he scans you up and down, as if actually seeing you for the first time (and noticing the switch in your usual attire: you exchanged your cargo pants for a skirt, something more fancy, yet telling), a look in which he gets all red in his cheeks, wondering if you noticed the way he did his hair differently today, just to appeal to you– he clears his throat and takes a step towards the café, opening the door for you like the gentleman he tries to be today. “Let’s go in, then!”

You follow his lead, entering the small, yet cozy place. The cold weather outside makes a good contrast with the heating of the café, and when Sunwoo takes a look at the board above the counter, he finds a seasonal menu welcoming him in with a big bear hug. Hot chocolate is just what he needs after all of this, and he won’t deny himself the pleasure of one now.

“Hot choccy?” you ask, smiling softly at the silent figure standing next to you. Sunwoo is caught off-guard with your suggestion and the gentle curve of your lips just the same, warmth spreading to the inside of his heart at the realisation that you know him so well. It’s her. It’s really her, he gasps in disbelief.

“Want one as well?” he asks after nodding, watching you shrug. He takes that as a yes, and since he thinks he did a lot of damage over the course of your friendship, he takes the lead and pays for your drink to try and make up for it– which you don’t fight him over, and he doesn’t find it in him to care. Actually, he thinks he kind of appreciates it. 

After taking a seat in one of the booths in the corner– the cream sofa hugs him in just well, and Sunwoo thinks he might just give this place a 5 star review on Yelp, depending on the way this date- I mean… friendly gathering goes– he is met with another excruciating, suffocating silence. He never really had much trouble talking to you before– surely not online, but also not whenever you were around in real life settings as well, since he always found a way to tease you and make fun of you, giving you most of his undivided attention– but this time around, he thinks keeping up a conversation with you might just be the hardest thing he’s ever had to experience. 

You make him nervous. You make him doubtful. If he wondered about how you’d perceive him after meeting him before knowing you two were acquainted already, he is wondering even more now– do you hate him? Do you wish he wasn’t the one sitting opposite of you right now? Do you want to leave and never talk to him again?

Is he good enough? Does he live up to the expectations– if you even had any?

All previous hatred towards you disappears as fast as a click of your finger, and Kim Sunwoo is left breathless at the fact that you’re right there, in front of him– his online best friend. He thinks he might have still liked you even if you turned out to be a mass murderer. He thinks he might have still liked you even if you were a 50 year old male in a disguise. He thinks the bond you two have built over the internet is much stronger than any mean comments he threw your way before– and the only thing left is to hope you feel the same.

Opening his mouth to speak, he thinks it’s time to have that conversation.

“Listen, I–”

“Were you disappointed that it was me?” you cut him off suddenly, fast as lightning– as if to hurry to get the question out before you chicken out of it.

Sunwoo is left staring at you open-mouthed, shocked. There was not a single minute of his existence where he’d feel disappointed with your identity. The thought never even crossed his brain once, and suddenly, he feels stupid. 

He left you hanging for a whole week– all because he thought you’d hate him. He left you wondering in silence, doubting yourself and thinking you’re not who he would’ve liked– all because of his own insecurities. Why has he not thought of your side of things as well?

“No,” he simply states, watching your face morph into a more relaxed one, eyes softening. “Not at all, no,” he shakes his head.

“I just– it’s…”

“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way,” Sunwoo utters out. You press your lips together, listening. “Was I surprised? Mhm. Shocked? Yeah, of course I was… but no, I was never disappointed that it turned out to be you. Not for a single moment.”

“I thought you hated me,” you note, chuckling. The words sting on Sunwoo’s skin, but he figures he’s not the one to be hurt right now– and so he sucks it up and hums.

“I was being petty,” he agrees. “And childish. Nothing to be so passionate about as I was,” he admits, forcefully laughing at his own actions. “Nothing to throw away everything we… nothing to throw away the friendship that means so much to me.”

The sincerity of his own words scares him. There is a quiet desperation in him that wants to prove to you that he’s not as bad as he presented himself to be. There is a need in him to fix everything he ruined, to show you that he’s the same Sunwoo you know from the internet, and that all of this is worth it. 

“And I’m sorry, just… just by the way.”

Sunwoo never thought he’d be left apologizing to you– but here he is. Maybe this whole thing taught him something– maybe you taught him something. 

“Ah,” you shrug. “It’s okay. I mean, it was kind of fun watching you be so pressed about nothing, but I’m glad it’s resolved now,” you laugh.

You laugh, and the atmosphere immediately clears. Sunwoo feels like he can breathe lighter, like the cold isn’t so overbearing outside, like he hadn’t just spent the last week locked in his room, contemplating the point of living at all. He didn’t think it would be this easy… 

Something inside of him truly believed he lost you for good. 

“I mean, you were the one that ran out of the internet café without an explanation–”

“You cursed me out!” you argue, kicking his shin lightly under the table.

The boy fakes offense, pointing his finger at you. “That wasn’t directed at you! Just the situation in general.”

“That includes me,” you add.

“Sure, but still– I was just surprised. I really didn’t expect my online best friend to be sitting in the same room as me every week, that’s for sure,” he says, watching as your eyes light up at the title, a cute smile overtaking your features.

“I also didn’t expect you to ghost me for a full week after,” you add, shrugging. “You’re usually so desperate for attention,” you hum, making the boy’s cheeks heat up like a furnace, eyes averting your gaze at all costs. Now, this surely wasn’t on the list of things he wanted to discuss with you today.

Clearing his throat, he makes eye contact with his mug instead, desperately trying to shift the topic of the conversation. “Drink it, it’s getting cold…”

“Sure… Whatever you say, Steve,” you tease. When he looks up at you from under his eyelashes, there’s the same cunning smile on your face that he watched all those times when you won against him at League of Legends– the same smile that used to always drive him crazy, but he now recognises that he translated the implications of his insanity all wrong (because he thinks that maybe somewhere deep inside of his romantic, rotten soul, he might have known all along)– and he wonders if this was the smile you always wore when you made fun of him for falling asleep on the call with you again, the boy using your soft, sleepy voice as a lullaby. 

Sunwoo almost chokes on his drink, pointing an accusing finger at you. “Speaking of,” he starts, “the kids miss you. Go and feed them, miss,” he says, watching you roll your eyes at him. The dogs you co-parent with him in Minecraft  have been sitting near your front door ever since you last logged out, and even though coming to your house felt like an emotional torture in the time you were gone, Sunwoo always managed to feed them like he would with a real animal.

Call him childish, for all he cares. 

“Okay, damn,” you say, rolling your eyes at him. “You only say that because you want me to finally move our beds together, don’t you?” you tease him, referencing the little offering he made for you months ago– the one that’s still secure outside of your house despite many of its renovations.

Sunwoo almost chokes on his drink again. You grin at him– a sight that makes his insides feel like they were threaded with gold. He swears hot chocolate has never felt so sweet before. 

If he wasn’t sure of it before, he’s fairly certain now– you can fall for someone over the internet. And yes, the crush translates to its full form after meeting them in person.

“I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed to it…” he mumbles, not really quick enough to come up with a good comeback now that he’s face to face with you, making you giggle cutely at his sudden shyness. This is not how you know Kim Sunwoo– the sheepish composure is so far of the boy you met online, but also the one that ridiculed you during a casual game of CS:GO weeks ago.

“I’ll decide if it’s worth it after you show me the lights you’ve been talking my ear off about,” you say– and he thinks he won. Because this is an invitation to his room– an invitation for further hangouts. If you keep flirting with him like this, Sunwoo thinks he might just combust.

There is only one problem, though.

“About the lights…”

BONUS // A YEAR LATER

If you would’ve told Kim Sunwoo that he will end up in a long distance relationship only a bit more than a year ago, he would’ve believed you. See, he’s a stranger to denial– he is quite good at accepting his own feelings for what they were, inwardly, at least– and so he was fairly certain he was in love with his online best friend even before he had a chance to meet her. Somewhere along the line, given the fact that his feelings would be reciprocated, he imagined going further with the establishment, no matter how far or close in distance you were from each other.

Turns out, life is funny in many ways and his online best friend, the proclaimed love of his life, lived just around the corner with her roommate Aeri. She still doesn’t like him that much, but Sunwoo puts effort into visiting his girlfriend at her place often, in hopes that her best friend finally warms up to him a little– he thinks it’s almost like approaching a stray cat. The Sylvanian families shrine the two girls hold in their living room is also fascinating to him– he didn’t think someone with a stern look like Aeri’s could stare at something so adorable and small so lovingly.

“Sunwoo, once again, we are not in a long distance relationship,” you say over the speakers of his sister’s laptop that he borrowed just so he could call with you, making him mourn into the poor-quality microphone. 

“We are! You’re so far away right now, how can you justify it not being a long distance relationship?” 

“We literally saw each other a week ago,” you deadpan, “and we will see each other again after we come back to uni, you moron.”

See, Sunwoo’s definition of a long distance relationship is a bit warped. As long as you’re not in the same town as him, he considers you too far away– and in any other circumstance, you would find it cute (bless his heart), but when you’re trying to enjoy your break with your family that you haven’t seen in a while, it’s becoming just the tiniest bit overbearing.

“That’s too long.”

“You’re being a baby,” you grunt, making your boyfriend pout at the other side of the call, seen by his web camera. You were against turning your own on, but were forced to nonetheless– Sunwoo’s ‘I need to see your face or else I’ll die’ was too convincing not to. You know he won’t, but at the same time, the poor boy could turn a little manic at times– you had to make sure he will survive until your next meeting.

“God, a man can’t even miss his long distance girlfriend in peace–”

“I am not your long distance girlfriend. We’re literally only like 4 hours away from each other right now, that’s not even–”

“If you think about it,” Sunwoo cuts you off, making you sigh. “It’s like we’re back to square one. Y’know, before we started dating.”

“Not really…?” you try to argue with him, planning to point out the fact that back then, you used to call on Discord and not Whatsapp, with no camera on and using fake names, but the boy cuts you off fast, knowing that you’re right and he just can’t let you have the point.

“I miss your kisses, that’s all.”

Still hung up on the previous comment, you sigh. “We weren’t even kissing back then, Sunwoo.”

The boy stares at you for a second, blinking, before he breaks out into a huge grin. “Well, maybe not you. Me, however, I was kissing the screen everytime your character showed up–”

“I’m going to end the call,” you warn him. Why are you even dating him? He has a bitchless loser energy– maybe you should let him live up to it.

“No no no– okay, I’ll be normal.”

“I find that hard to believe,” you sigh.

If you would’ve told Kim Sunwoo that he will end up in a long distance relationship only a bit more than a year ago, he would’ve believed you. After seeing the little heart shaped altar in front of your house in Minecraft every time he plays– your beds now stuck together, making him sense that he finally made it– he truly wouldn’t find this accusation hard to believe.

Truth be told, though, he’s much happier with having a normal relationship with you.

One where he gets to hold you, one where he gets to kiss you. One where you finally come over and he gets to impress you with the LED strip he finally got off a proper electronic place instead of a cheap online store, investing money into the device he gets to use behind the locked doors of his room for atmospheric purposes whenever you two–

Anyways. 

Maybe Changmin was right and he was always being just too overly-dramatic. He was also right when he accused Sunwoo of having a huge crush on you online, after all. 

Still, Sunwoo wouldn’t change it for anything. Despite the history you share, he actually thinks you’re pretty fucking cute.

And real. And his. 

And thankfully, not a thousand miles away. (Although it may feel like it right now.)

[bruhnze]

could you write a Ona/Lucy hurt comfort period sex fic?

Yes, i can :)

I’ll be right back - Lucy x Ona

This is not for everybody, i am aware of that, but i liked the idea and i wrote something... after i did i realised some might not really like the topic, and now i am a bit insecure about posting this... (what i shouldn't supposed to be bcs periods are not supposed to be a taboo topic) but i will put a disclaimer: period sex, on this.

Warnings: soft smut, hurt/comfort. minors dni.

Wordcount: about 2500 🤠

Ona laid in bed, curled on her side, hugging the heating pad to her stomach. No matter how much she shifted, she just couldn’t get comfortable. First she was too hot, then she was cold again. Her clothes felt wrong, her position in the bed felt wrong and the nagging pain in her lower back only made things worse. Her headphones were in, sad music playing on repeat, her eyes shut tight. Her brows furrowed in discomfort, her slow breathing tense and uneven.

To add to her annoyance, Narla and Coco scratched lightly at the door, but Ona had locked them out earlier, unable to deal with their boundless energy. Still, this wasn’t much better.

Suddenly, her stomach twisted in another sharp cramp and she grimaced, her body tensing as she breathed through the pain until it finally faded again. The sad music matched her mood perfectly as she felt physically and emotionally drained. Deep down, she wished Lucy was here.

Lucy had gone out with friends. Ona had said she didn’t feel up to it, that she rather stayed home. Maybe she had encouraged Lucy to go without her, sure—but she’d secretly hoped Lucy would stay. Lucy knew I was on my period, Ona thought, feeling disappointment. Pouting, she started to feel sorry for herself, and before she could stop it, tears slipped down her cheeks. She felt silly for being so childish, and a minute later, that sadness turned into irritation, directed at Lucy. She could’ve known I wanted her to stay home.

..

A while later, the front door opened, but Ona didn’t stir, too exhausted and wrapped up in her music to notice.

Footsteps echoed through the apartment as Lucy returned from her outing with friends. She was in a good mood, still smiling, but as soon as she stepped into the quiet home, something felt off.

“Narla? Coco?” Lucy called, spotting the dogs sitting patiently by the bedroom door, their tails wagging.

Frowning, Lucy gently pushed the bedroom door open. The dim light filtered through the room, and the first thing she saw was Ona, curled up under the blankets, headphones in, her expression drawn and tired.

Concern immediately replaced Lucy’s earlier cheer. She slipped into the room, careful to keep the dogs out, and sat quietly on the edge of the bed, not wanting to startle her.

“Ona,” Lucy whispered softly, reaching out to touch her shoulder. When Ona didn’t respond, Lucy carefully removed the headphones, setting them on the bedside table.

Ona blinked up at her, eyes red and tired, but she managed a weak smile. “Finally found your way home?” she murmured, her voice quiet and a little hoarse.

Lucy’s concern deepened. “What’s going on, love?” she asked, brushing a hand through Ona’s hair, her thumb gently tracing her temple. “Period cramps?”

Ona sighed and glanced down. “Yeah,” she admitted, her cheeks flushing slightly, but Lucy’s soft gaze made her feel comfortable.

Lucy’s heart clenched. Without a word, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to Ona’s forehead. “You should’ve called me,” Lucy said gently, pulling Ona into her arms. “Want me to heat up the pad again?”

Ona melted into her, the warmth of Lucy’s body far better than the heating pad. She rested her head on Lucy’s chest, listening to the steady rhythm of her breathing. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Bother me?” Lucy pulled back slightly, giving Ona a serious but gentle look. “You’re never a bother, especially when you’re in pain.” She tucked a strand of hair behind Ona’s ear and smiled softly.

Ona pouted as Lucy tried to reach for the heating pad. “I don’t want the pad anymore.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow. “But you have it now?”

Ona rolled her eyes. “I’m warm, I’m sweating.” She complained.

Lucy chuckled softly and placed her hand on Ona’s forehead. “You don’t feel—”

Before she could finish, Ona turned away and curled up again, her back to Lucy. Her body shook slightly, and Lucy heard the soft sound of quiet sobs.

“Hey,” Lucy cooed gently, running her hand up and down Ona’s back. “I love you.”

“Don’t touch me,” came a muffled whiny voice from between the pillows.

Lucy’s heart sank a little, but she stopped, her hand resting beside her curled up girlfriend. “I… I’m sorry?”

“No, you’re not,” Ona mumbled.

“I am, baby. I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

“You shouldn’t be sorry, I mean,” Ona said, her voice quieter as she turned around, her eyes red from tears. “You’re always sweet to me, and I get why you wouldn’t want to be around me when I’m so… ugly… and grumpy.”

Lucy frowned, shaking her head. “What? Babe, no. I always want to be with you, especially when you feel like this.”

Ona’s lip trembled, and she pouted. “Even if I’m ugly?”

Lucy blinked in disbelief before smiling gently. “Even if—” She stopped, realizing what Ona had said. “You’re not ugly, Ona. Never. You’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“Then why won’t you kiss me or hold me? Normally, you’d have kissed me by now.”

Lucy’s expression softened. “I just… didn’t think you’d want me to.” She paused, seeing the plea in Ona’s eyes. “Can I kiss you now?”

Ona nodded, her eyes watery but hopeful. Lucy leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, lingering for just a moment before wrapping her arms around her tightly.

Lucy pulled back from the kiss, her forehead resting gently against Ona's. "How can we get you comfy, bebê?" she asked softly, brushing her thumb along Ona's cheek.

Ona sighed, her body still curled up against Lucy. “I don’t know,” she whispered, her voice filled with frustration. “Nothing feels right.”

Lucy kissed her forehead again, her fingers threading through Ona’s hair. “We’ll figure something out,” she murmured. “Maybe a hot shower will help relax your muscles?”

Ona considered it for a moment, her face still flushed and eyes puffy from crying. The thought of warm water against her skin sounded appealing. She nodded slowly. “Okay… but only if you come with me.”

Lucy smiled softly. “Of course I will.” She gently untangled herself from Ona and stood up, offering her hand. Ona hesitated for a second before taking it, letting Lucy pull her to her feet.

As they walked into the bathroom, Lucy turned on the shower, adjusting the water until it was just the right warmth. The steam began to fill the room. Ona stood in the doorway, watching Lucy with tired eyes, but there was a hint of something else in her gaze, she felt needy, she wanted Lucy.

Lucy turned back to Ona and smiled reassuringly. “Come on, love. Let’s get you feeling a bit better.”

They slowly undressed and Lucy helped Ona step into the shower first. The hot water ran down Ona’s back and she let out a soft sigh as the comfortable warmth immediately started to ease some of the tension in her body. Lucy slipped in behind her, wrapping her arms around Ona’s waist and pulling her closer.

For a few moments, they stood together under the stream of water, Lucy holding Ona as the heat worked to soothe her. Ona rested her head against Lucy’s shoulder, closing her eyes as she melted into the embrace. “This feels so much better,” Ona murmured, her voice a little lighter now.

“Good,” Lucy whispered, kissing the top of her head. “I’ve got you.”

After a while, Ona shifted in Lucy’s arms, turning to face her. Her eyes, though still tired, held a different kind of need now. She reached up, cupping Lucy’s face gently. “Can we…?” she asked quietly, her cheeks flushing slightly, but there was no hesitation in her voice.

Lucy understood immediately, her eyes softening with love and concern. “Are you sure, baby? You’re not in too much pain?”

Ona shook her head. “No, I want you to,” she whispered. “It’ll help… you always help.”

Lucy’s heart swelled at the words, and she pressed a loving kiss to Ona’s lips before nodding. “Okay, love,” she murmured. Her next kiss was deeper, more lingering, as her hands slid down Ona’s waist, fingers gently caressing her skin under the warm spray. Ona responded immediately, her body instinctively leaning into Lucy’s touch, the warmth from Lucy a soothing contrast to the discomfort she’d been feeling all day.

They moved together slowly, water cascading over them, as Lucy’s hands traced the familiar contours of Ona’s body.

Her touches was deliberate, careful, infused with the love and tenderness that defined their relationship. Ona closed her eyes, letting herself melt into Lucy’s embrace.

Lucy’s hands explored Ona’s body with care, her fingers eventually finding their way between Ona’s legs. She paused, hesitating for a brief second, aware of Ona’s period but understanding how much Ona craved this comfort and intimacy. It wasn’t about anything other than making her feel better—Lucy knew this could help ease her pain.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Lucy whispered, her voice gentle with a little concern, her hand stilling as her eyes searched Ona’s face for any sign of hesitation.

Ona’s cheeks flushed slightly, but it wasn’t from embarrassment. She leaned in for another kiss, her lips meeting Lucy’s with quiet urgency, the answer clear in her touch. "I want you," Ona murmured against her lips, her voice steady and sure.

Reassured, Lucy’s fingers moved slowly, gently, her other arm pulling Ona closer to her, holding her steady as the warm water washed over them. She wasn’t thinking about anything other than how Ona responded to her—every soft sound, every shift in her body guiding Lucy’s careful touch.

When Lucy’s fingers finally entered her, Ona whimpered, a sharp breath escaping her as a brief twinge of pain shot through her lower body. She grimaced slightly, her body tensing.

Lucy immediately stilled, her concern flaring. “Are you okay? Am I hurting you?” she asked softly, her brow furrowing as she searched Ona’s face, her hand already retreating.

Ona shook her head, pouting slightly, her eyes pleading. “No... I want you, please,” she whispered, her voice laced with both desire and need for comfort.

Lucy pressed a kiss to Ona’s forehead, her touch as soft as her words. She gently withdrew her hand, discreetly washing it under the shower as she captured Ona’s attention with another kiss. “I know another way, baby,” Lucy assured her, her voice soothing.

She cupped Ona’s face in her hands, giving her a series of slow, reassuring kisses before she repositioned herself behind her girlfriend.

Wrapping her arms around Ona’s waist, Lucy pressed her lips to the soft skin of her neck, holding her close. She kissed her way along Ona’s damp skin, whispering soft words of love between kisses, letting her presence and touch do the work of easing Ona’s discomfort.

Lucy’s fingers found their way between Ona’s legs again. She swiped along Ona’s core, feeling the slick warmth of her, before her fingers began to circle gently around Ona’s clit. The motion was slow, steady, designed to bring comfort as much as pleasure.

Her other hand, now free, glided upward to cup one of Ona’s breasts, her thumb brushing lightly over the sensitive skin as she pulled Ona closer into her. Lucy’s body pressed against her from behind, their skin warm and slick from the shower, the intimacy of the moment wrapping them both in a sense of calm.

Lucy buried her face in the crook of Ona’s neck, pressing a soft kiss there as she whispered against her damp skin, “You’re okay, love. I’ve got you.”

Ona groaned and gripped Lucy’s forearm as tension in her lower stomach started to build, the work of Lucy’s fingers combined with the sensation of Lucy’s tongue on her neck was just perfect.

It didn’t take long before Ona came undone, the tightness disappearing for a whole other feeling, much lighter. Like her uterus was carried by butterflies inside her. Her head felt light and she heard a buzzing sound in her ears as Lucy helped her through her orgasm.

She turned around in Lucy’s arms and nuzzled her head against her wet chest as Ona felt she now had an upcoming headache.

Lucy kissed the top of Ona’s head, ‘’was it okay?’’.

‘’mhm’’ Ona hummed.

..

After a little while more under the hot water they both rinsed off.

Lucy helped Ona dry herself, gently patting her skin with a towel before slipping her into some of her own clothes—knowing Ona always preferred wearing Lucy's things for comfort.

Once they were both dressed, Lucy pulled Ona into a warm embrace, her arms wrapping securely around her.

“Ready to face the two little monsters again?” Lucy teased with a playful grin.

Ona frowned, momentarily confused by Lucy’s words.

Lucy chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to Ona’s temple. “The dogs, babe. You locked them out earlier. But I’m guessing they were bothering you?”

“Oh,” Ona groaned, the memory coming back. She sighed, then chuckled softly, until, without warning, tears began to spill down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered through the sudden wave of emotion.

Lucy’s heart clenched as she quickly pulled her closer. “Nooo, don’t be,” she soothed, her voice soft as she kissed the top of Ona’s head. “They can be little devils sometimes. You’re always so good with them. Don’t worry, love.” She scolded herself for making Ona cry.

She gently stroked Ona’s back, trying to offer comfort. “How about I make you something to eat? A nice cup of tea? Maybe get the heating pad again?”

But Ona’s tears didn’t stop. Instead, they fell harder, and Lucy could feel her trembling slightly. Lucy grimaced, unsure of what else to say. “Hey… I’m sorry,” she murmured, realizing her words might have been too much at once.

Ona turned around, burying her face in Lucy’s shoulder. “Headache,” she muttered weakly, offering no further explanation.

But Lucy didn’t need any. She understood that Ona was overwhelmed.

Without a word, Lucy guided her over to the couch, helping her lie down in the soft cushions. When Ona was comfy she draped a blanket over her, tucking it around her to make sure Ona was comfortable.

“I’ll be right back,” Lucy whispered, leaning down to plant another gentle kiss on Ona’s forehead.

[j2lx]

Arguing With Them (headcanons)

Warnings: angst to fluff, arguments (obviously lol), worrying about safety and overworking, insecurities, crying (a lot of crying), mentions of abuse in Sukuna's part and Naoya's part

A/n: I am so so sorry I went on hiatus without notice =( I just came back from my overseas vacation and I was so tired on the trip and when I just came home that I couldn't do much. I finally got the energy to finish this draft that was sitting in my docs for like a month so please do enjoy reading!

Characters: Itadori Yuuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Kugisaki Nobara, Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento, Ryomen Sukuna (Sukuna has his own body in this but isn't in his OG form), Zenin Maki, Okkotsu Yuuta, Inumaki Toge, Suguru Geto (basically high school Geto, before he became all you know), Toji Fushiguro (he isn't broke in this fic just so it isn't as confusing), Naoya Zenin (he isn't misogynistic (for Fem!readers) cuz he loves you a lot!) x Gender Neutral!reader

Itadori Yuuji

You hardly argue with your boyfriend. You understand him, and he understands you. The two of you never argue much since you both are able to come to a mutual agreement. Both of you get along really well, and think in similar ways, so it's rare for things to escalate into a fight.

When it does though, it hurts the both of you a lot. Guilt tends to gnaw at you two, and you both start to feel bad for lashing out at each other instead of talking it out slowly. Yuuji would be the one who's more affected between the two of you. He won't even be able to sleep after arguing with you because of how bad he feels.

Most of the time, you argue because of your boyfriend's lack of concern for his own safety. He tends to put others before himself in all situations, putting him at risk of injuries and even death. While you understand that the both of you being Jujutsu sorcerers would mean risking your life at times, you just can't tolerate how your boyfriend seems to be unnecessarily throwing himself into situations that could kill him.

Yuuji, being the caring and kind person who makes sure to protect others more than himself, fails to understand where you're coming from when these arguments start. It's his job after all, and it's what he should be doing. He just doesn't understand why you are so concerned when you yourself have to do the same. He doesn't get why you say he's "going too far" and "basically almost dying on every mission".

He's always stubborn and defends himself during these arguments, telling you that he's already doing his best to protect himself. But when you start to walk away and cry, he'll start to reflect and more often than not, he does realise that what you're saying is true. He just gets into the heat of the moment during missions and ends up not thinking about ways he could protect himself better, all while getting the mission done.

When you start to walk away, he'll immediately chase after you and try to apologise to you. Most of the time, all you want to do is make up with your boyfriend and cuddle with him while he holds you close to him. However, if you ever decide that you need time alone instead, Yuuji will sit outside of your dorm, listening to the shuffling of your feet in the room, your soft cries and sniffles, waiting for you to open the door and let him in to comfort you when you feel ready enough.

Yes, arguments with your boyfriend might hurt, and it might be tough to get through to him most of the time, but when he sees how desperate, concerned and sad you are, he'll start to understand. He'll never let you stay mad at him after these arguments because he doesn't want to lose you over something that he should have realised that he was wrong about all along. Expect loads of cuddles and Yuuji being clingy to you after arguments! (Also lots of "I love you"s from him)

Fushiguro Megumi

Honestly, arguments with Megumi occur once in a while, but it hardly escalates into something really big. Megumi isn't always the best at understanding your feelings and trying to see where you're coming from, especially if it's about your safety. He's stubborn and stands his ground in arguments, which makes arguing with him a little… painful.

He tries his best to understand your point of view, really. But you're the most important person to him, and it's natural for him to want to protect you no matter what, right? When arguing with him, it always hurts you more than him, because sometimes it's like he's scolding you and not hearing you out. But after the argument, all the guilt hits him like a ton of bricks and he starts to feel really bad for just lashing out at you.

Arguments with him are the worst when he realises changes in your behaviour. You started to train and exercise a lot in your free time, which confused him. You didn't spend as much time with him anymore and he could tell that you were overworking yourself. When he confronted you about it, you refused to tell him about it and it pissed him off. You were so important to him, and he wanted the best for you, so why couldn't you open up and tell him?

He starts to lecture you about reasons you shouldn't overwork yourself and tells you, in a rather harsh way, that you should tell him what's going on. And the whole time, he doesn't pause to let you speak at all. He's just so worried and annoyed that he goes on and on. He starts getting blinded by his concern and anger that he forgets to listen to you, and even if he does, he tends not to process it before he says something again.

He only knows he's gone too far when you start tearing up, shouting above his voice that the only reason you were overworking yourself was so that you could match up to him, so that he wouldn't leave you behind. And when you run out of his dorm and hide in your own dorm, locking the door the moment you step in, he finally starts to process what you said.

He sits on the edge of his bed, processing everything you said. He feels the guilt of not hearing you out properly, and he knows he has to do something to make it up to you. He knows he isn't the best at expressing his emotions through his words, so he heads to the kitchen and starts to make a cup of your favourite hot drink for you, before heading to your dorm.

He always knocks on your door and asks if you can let him into your dorm. If you don't, he sets the drink down on a table in the common room and tells you to drink it before it gets cold, and then heads back to his dorm. But if you let him in, like you do more often than not, he'll set the drink on the table you have in your room and apologise to you, before asking if he can cuddle with you, which you always agree to.

Kugisaki Nobara

Arguments with her are actually pretty rare! Most of the time, the two of you just try your best to understand each other, and it works perfectly well. The two of you hardly meet a situation where both of you have really different opinions and disagree strongly with each other.

But when that does happen, it gets heated very quickly. One of you would start accusing the other person, while the other has no choice but to defend themselves to the best of their abilities. You both end up really mad at each other because you didn't really listen to each other's feelings and instead, started shouting accusations at each other.

Nobara really appreciates it when you spend time with her on your days off from missions and school. She often takes the initiative to ask you when you're free and then sets aside those few days just to spend time with you. So when you told her that you took up an urgent mission, even though there were other people to handle it, she was really annoyed and pissed off. You had promised three weeks ago that you'll spend time with her on that day, and yet you decided to go on a mission that any other Jujutsu sorcerers could handle instead.

She started out by asking you why you wanted to do that, and when you replied that it was so you could get promoted more quickly, she snapped. She had told you countless times that in the Jujutsu world, you'll forever want to aim higher and higher, and there was no end to it. And yet, you had taken up a mission on a day she specially put aside so that the two of you could go out together.

Accusations and screaming is all that can be heard when your arguments get that heated. She calls you a liar and you retort that she doesn't care about you. She says that she can't trust you anymore and you reply that if she believes that, it's fine by you. It's just her attacking you with her words and you just trying to defend yourself. Eventually, it gets too frustrating for Nobara and she just walks out of your dorm, slamming the door behind her.

In the end, you go on your mission. But on the way there, you start reflecting, and realise that you were in the wrong to begin with. And truth to be told, you don't know how to make it up to your girlfriend. You know that she's always looking forward to these kinds of days, days that she can spend with you, having fun and just hanging out together. And yet, you decided to ruin it all and make her angry by breaking a promise.

When you get back to Jujutsu High, you knock on Nobara's dorm room. You hear a muffled "go away", so you just leave, giving her the space she needs. You head out again to buy her something you know she'll like, and then leave it outside her dorm room when you return. And when she finds the gift outside of her door, with an apology letter, she goes to look for you immediately so that the two of you can make up and cuddle in her dorm after that.

Satoru Gojo

You get into arguments with him mostly because of what he's doing. Be it annoying and teasing you too much, or being too reckless, it's always because he gets too cocky and negligent of himself that the two of you end up arguing. It doesn't happen often, since he listens to your scoldings when you try to tell him to stop being annoying or reckless.

And on the occasion that the argument does escalate, it's always him trying to defend his own actions by giving you random excuses. And if that doesn't piss you off enough, he never gives you the space to cool down after arguments. He'll cling to you, because "the argument is over" and he clearly thinks that it's fine to stick close to you when you clearly need your own space.

It's the worst when you get into arguments with him over his safety. His only excuses are that he's "the strongest" and since he "hasn't died yet, you don't have to worry". And while you don't disagree that he's the strongest, and know full well that he won't bite the dust that easily, you just can't help but worry. Yes, Satoru understands you like no other, the only thing he'll never comprehend is your worry for his safety.

Maybe it's because he's just that confident in his own abilities, or he just doesn't deem it necessary for you to worry over him when he promised that he'll return home to you no matter what. Regardless, he's stubborn when these kinds of arguments happen, more so than usual. He'll pick on everything you say, use things he's said in the past, just do absolutely anything to win the argument when that's not exactly the point. In the heat of the moment, he always forgets that it's you worrying about him, that you're scared for him. And instead of trying to reassure and comfort you, he starts to defend his own actions.

You're always the one to step back from the arguments and head to your shared bedroom to just have some space for yourself. However, your boyfriend takes that as a cue that all's well and good, and that you're on good terms with him again. He'll knock on the bedroom door, and no matter what your response is to that, he'll enter the room and start clinging to you, hugging and kissing you when all you really want is time away from him. He only gets that when you tell him to leave and shove him away from you.

He'll give you all the time in the world after that, just so that you can calm down as much as possible. And instead of distracting himself from the sadness of being pushed away, he sits outside the bedroom door, listening to every sound you make. He has to will himself not to burst into the room when he hears your quiet sobs, and just curls up into a ball, hoping that you'll calm down soon.

And when you finally let him into the room, your eyes red and puffy, he'll pull you into a hug while apologising for how unreasonable and annoying he was. He spends the rest of the day cuddling with you and being at your every command. He would do everything and anything, literally anything, just to cheer you up and make you feel better.

Nanami Kento

Arguments with him are super duper rare. He really tries his best to understand your feelings and will never lash out, even if you're being unreasonable sometimes. He's able to reason with you very well, so the two of you hardly get into arguments if there's ever something that's bothering either of you.

That doesn't mean that there are no arguments at all. Of course, when arguments do happen, Kento tries to let you understand his side of the story and hears you out no matter what. But when it does escalate, he knows when to end the argument and give you some space. There will be raised voices and even shouting, but at some point, he knows that it's not going to help solve anything and gives you the space to calm down.

The worst argument you had with him was over him being "obsessed" with hunting down a curse. You heard of this unregistered special grade curse with a patchwork face, and you knew just how dangerous it was to track it down. But you knew that your boyfriend was trying to help out and protect people from this curse by finding it and exorcising it.

Even so, you couldn't really understand why he had to work so hard to hunt it down, even working overtime on most days just to get information and track the curse's location. It wasn't just that he was spending less time with you, he was risking his own life and safety by trying to accomplish his mission. And you drew the line at that. You couldn't lose Kento. So you confronted him about it one evening after he came back from working overtime yet again.

It started out fine, just you telling him to give it up, or at least not work so hard over this matter. You expected him to understand, to listen to you, but you were wrong. He started to tell you about the mission, why it was important, why he had to do his best to search for it even if it meant that he had to work overtime. And that just leads to you shouting at him, telling him how neglected and scared you feel. And he starts to raise his voice too, saying that you don't understand how important his work is, even though you're a Jujutsu sorcerer too. Both of your voices fill your shared apartment, just pointless screaming that isn't helping either of you to come to a consensus.

After a while, Kento calms down and approaches you slowly, wiping away the tears that flowed down your cheeks without you even noticing. He goes to the kitchen and hands you a cup of water before going to your shared bedroom, giving you some space and leaving you alone in the living room to think about what happened.

He always waits for you to calm down fully and look for him. The last thing he wants is for him to cause you to feel more upset by approaching you while you're still mad at him. Rest assured though, after you go to look for him, he'll apologise very sincerely and do whatever you want to do with him. Expect lots of cuddles and kisses, and even a date later in the week!

Ryomen Sukuna

Arguments with your boyfriend are not exactly common, but they do happen more than should. He's not the best with emotions, but he's really trying his best to understand your point of view. He knows that he needs to start being gentler and more sympathetic, and he's really working on it.

But more often than not, arguments with him do escalate quite badly. He's stubborn, and most of the time he forgets that communication is a two way thing. It's not that he's shutting you out on purpose, he just doesn't register that he needs to let you voice out your opinions so that he can hear you out.

Most of the time, arguments occur because of how overprotective your boyfriend becomes when you talk to another guy. You've told him before that men have taken advantage of you before, gained your trust before throwing you around and using you for their own cruel plans. And whenever Sukuna sees someone being nice to you, he panics. He doesn't think that they're genuinely trying to be nice to you. Instead, his brain thinks of the worst case scenario and immediately his body acts to protect you in case they do anything to you.

It wasn't the first time Sukuna had to meet a male colleague of yours. Considering that you both were Jujutsu sorcerers, most of your colleagues were his as well, and he slowly managed to warm up to them without feeling the need to protect you from them, because he trusts them enough. But when he met your new make colleague who was going to be your mentee, he kind of lost it. Your boyfriend immediately glared at him when he tried to help you carry some documents back to the office, scaring your mentee.

When you got back to your shared apartment, you confronted Sukuna about his actions. To you, it was just plain unreasonable that he had scared someone innocent and who had done nothing to harm you. Your boyfriend got frustrated that you couldn't see it from his point of view and told you to just let him protect you so that no one else would take advantage of you. And while you could see where he was coming from, you couldn't tolerate the fact that he was going around intimidating people who were innocent and had no plan to abuse you like the people you encountered in the past. So you shoved him away and told him to leave you alone as you left the apartment and went to stay over at Shoko's place for the night.

The next morning, you were greeted by your mentee the moment you got to the campus of Jujutsu High. He shared about how Sukuna had apologised to him for scaring him, and had warned him not to take advantage of you, which he assured you he had no intention of doing. Upon hearing that your stubborn and somewhat unapologetic boyfriend actually apologised to someone who wasn't you, you couldn't help but feel a little touched and decided to find him after work to make up with him.

You managed to catch up to him as he was leaving the campus and immediately reached to grab his arm, stopping him in his tracks. You wrapped your arms around his torso and pressed your face into his chest, apologising for being irrational the previous night, and thanking him for looking out for you. He smiled before picking you up in his arms and pressing a kiss on your forehead, whispering an apology as well. He put you down gently and you both walked hand in hand, ready to go back home together.

Maki Zenin

You and Maki have arguments, yes, but they hardly occur. The two of you prefer to sit down and talk about it calmly instead of lashing out at each other, since talking it out makes the both of you more comfortable with sharing your views and helps make the atmosphere less tense.

During the extremely heated and intense arguments, that are few and far between, it becomes much more difficult for the both of you to take a step back and it usually ends up in the two of you ignoring each other for a while.

It's not uncommon to see Maki work out and train in her free time, considering that she wants to work hard to get promoted and just get stronger in general. Anyone who knows her would know that she works out almost everyday during her break time, and you're used to that too. In fact, you do enjoy joining in with her, or just watching your girlfriend while she trains.

But sometimes, it gets a little too much. It's not that you want to be the kind of clingy s/o, nor do you want to disrupt Maki's training regime and deprive her of the time she has to work out, but it's been bad to the extent that she only has time to eat and sleep outside of classes, missions, training and working out. Due to it being the season where more curses appear, all of you at Jujutsu High have been assigned more missions and life has been busier than usual. You would've thought that with the number of missions she was assigned, your girlfriend wouldn't have the time or energy to work out when she got a break (if she got any), but she clearly proved you wrong.

You decided to talk to her about it one day. It wasn't just about the way she spent her time, but also about her health and sleep schedule. You were more worried than anything, and you just wanted to make sure that she was alright and safe. Maybe it was the stress from all the missions, or it could've been the weather, but for whatever reason, Maki was more pissed than usual when you tried to talk to her. You explained the situation calmly and yet she could only snap that you wouldn't understand. And when you tried again to ask her about how she was feeling, she said that she was fine in a deadpanned voice. You got frustrated and ended up shouting at her, which led her to shout at you too. After she made her point she turned to leave and didn't talk to you for the next few days.

Even after the whole argument, you still wanted to look out for your girlfriend as much as possible. That led you to going to the teachers and requesting for them to give Maki fewer missions, just so she wouldn't push herself too hard on a daily basis. And little did you know that a certain blindfolded teacher mentioned it to your girlfriend in passing one day during training.

As a result, you were shocked to see Maki outside your dorm room on a weekend morning, considering that she usually went for jogs at that time. She explained that Gojo has told her about what you did, and apologised for being mean to you. You did the same, admitting that it was probably not right for you to disturb her when she was in the middle of getting ready for a mission. You invited her to spend the rest of the day with you, and the two of you let the rare time you had away from missions and training pass while spending time catching up with each other.

Okkotsu Yuuta

Arguments with Yuuta almost never occur, just because you two get along really well and never actually had a good reason to get into an argument. You two are like relationship goals, being able to understand each other's emotions and adapting the needs of the other party.

Even when things escalate, it never goes to the point of leaving a permanent, unforgettable scar on either of you. The two of you are both very emotional, and neither of you can bear to see the other person crying. So your arguments never escalate beyond a certain point, because you just can't stand to see each other hurt because of what had been said.

The only time you've had a super heated argument with Yuuta was when he finished his training overseas and was going to come back. Despite the fact that he kept telling you that he was going to return home to you soon, the date kept being pushed back. It was a full two weeks since the initial date he was supposed to come back home, and yet he was still overseas because of the missions he had to take up at the last minute.

You were slowly becoming more and more impatient. It's been months since you've seen your boyfriend, and the time you've spent apart just gets longer by the day. Did he not care about you anymore? It started to seem that way. You were normally an understanding person, and you knew how hard your boyfriend had it, considering he was a special grade sorcerer. But if you had to spend just another week away from him, you knew you would break. You decided to call Yuuta, just to let him know that you needed him back as soon as possible.

The call didn't go as you expected at all. You started by telling Yuuta how much you love him, and that you really can't do it anymore. That you can't spend any more time without him by your side. And Yuuta, with guilt laced in his voice, told you that he had to stay for six more days because of the appearance of a special grade curse. And that's when you broke. With tears trickling down your cheeks, you asked him if he even loved you anymore in a shaky voice, before hanging up on him and going to sleep, hugging the plush toy he bought for your birthday to comfort yourself.

You didn't hear from Yuuta the day after that and resigned yourself to the fate that you wouldn't see him until a week later. The last thing you expected was to hear a knock on your door the first thing in the morning, and for your boyfriend to be standing on the other side of the door, his bags and luggage still with him. He handed you a small bouquet of flowers with a small teddy bear on it and hugged you to his chest tightly. You could hear the tremble in his voice as he whispered apologies in your ear, and you pulled away from the hug to give him a peck on the lips.

After he placed his baggage in his dorm room and took a shower, he headed straight for your room to cuddle with you. The two of you talked things out, apologised to each other and started to plan for what to do if he got sent on a long trip again. Needless to say, you both spent the rest of the day in each other's arms, kissing and cuddling to your heart's content.

Inumaki Toge

You and Toge never had an argument before, as weird as it sounds. Of course Toge is a prankster and he loves teasing and flustering you, but he never goes overboard and never causes you discomfort of any sort. The two of you just never had anything to argue over, and you were thankful for that.

Well, that held true until… that happened. That's when you learnt what arguments with your boyfriend were like. And it wasn't even a normal argument. It was a horrible and scarring experience for the both of you. You just shut him out and Toge basically couldn't defend himself because you were ignoring him.

It all started when a new second year student transferred from Kyoto Jujutsu High to Tokyo. They were randomly assigned a buddy from the second years in Tokyo and it just so happened to be your boyfriend, Toge. At first, you were happy for him. Because of his cursed speech, it was difficult for him to make new friends and you had a feeling that this buddying experience would help him gain a new friend.

The warm feeling of happiness slowly turned to bitter envy when your boyfriend's buddy started to cling to him more. They basically spent the whole day together, and the only time they weren't together was during bedtime. From training to doing homework together, Toge's schedule suddenly became dedicated to them. And despite knowing that Toge loved you and only you, jealousy washed upon you and you couldn't help but feel more and more insecure by the day.

It got so bad that eventually, you couldn't even bring yourself to get out of your dorm room, unless it was for classes or training. You didn't want to see his buddy clinging to him, and your boyfriend paying them the attention they were seeking. You decided that you had enough one night, and took your phone from the bedside table and sent a message to Toge that said, "I hope you and your buddy are getting along, because it certainly seems so. If you don't want to be with me anymore, you know you can just tell me right?" And with that, you switched your phone off and tried your best to go to sleep.

You didn't leave your room for the entire day the next day and tried to distract yourself from hunger by reading the books you had. However, by the time it was evening, you were so hungry and desperate for food that you had no choice but to leave your room. And when you opened your door, you saw a lunchbox tied to the door handle on the other side. Without even opening it up, you knew it was from your boyfriend.

You immediately went to his dorm and knocked on the door. It took less than 10 seconds for the door to open and for him to pull you into a tight hug. Toge then dragged you into his room gently, and gestured for you to sit on his lap after he settled onto the edge of his bed. He placed a small kiss on your nose and muttered, "S…Sorry." You instantly felt your heart soften; hearing your boyfriend speak words other than onigiri ingredients was something that rarely occurred. You apologised before cupping his cheek and kissing him roughly on the lips, the kiss conveying all the emotions and love you felt for each other.

Suguru Geto

Yes, arguments do happen but they don't last long nor are they super intense. No seriously, your boyfriend is one of the most compassionate and sympathetic people you've ever met, so it's not often that he can't understand how you feel.

But when he truly fails to see where you're coming from, either because he thinks that what he's saying is more justifiable, or because he thinks that you're overacting, then the argument does escalate into something more heated than usual. He'll still hear you out, but he's likely going to continue to defend himself.

With a boyfriend who's a special grade sorcerer, it's only normal for you to have to spend time away from Suguru at times. It could be because of long missions overseas or just emotional distance because he can't spend much time with you. No matter what, he always makes it up to you after all his missions and assignments and spends lots of time with you.

Maybe it's because you never really showed strong opposition to Suguru going on more and more missions. You knew it had to happen, considering he was one of the four special grade sorcerers and that he was needed by the Jujutsu world considering his strength. But recently, your boyfriend started taking up more missions volunteeringly. And considering that he had never done that before, it felt weird to you… almost like he was trying to distance himself on purpose, which you were pretty sure wasn't the case. Nonetheless, you decided to talk to your boyfriend about it. You wanted to make sure that he wasn't pushing himself too hard unnecessarily, and that he wasn't being pressured into taking on these missions.

When you finally got down to confronting your boyfriend about the issue, he merely shrugged it off and said that it had to be done. He didn't really seem to acknowledge the concern you were showing him, which frustrated you and led you to snap at him, telling him about how he just doesn't seem to care about you or anything you do for him anymore. He then snapped back, saying that if you cared so much, you'd just leave him alone.

He instantly regretted his words, and even more so when he saw the tears welling up in your eyes. He muttered a quick "sorry" before he walked towards the door and prepared to leave your shared apartment to give you some space, like he always does after arguing with you. But instead of letting him leave as you would usually do, you pulled the hem of his shirt and whispered, "Stay. Please."

And stay he did. Your boyfriend sat down on the couch before pulling you onto his lap, comforting you by stroking your hair and whispering sweet nothings to you, all while you stuffed your face into his chest, letting his smell calm you down. After you calmed down enough to look at him, he kissed you all over your face and offered to make you your favourite dish for dinner that night, which of course you couldn't say no to. And you both knew that after you talked things out during dinner, everything would be alright again.

Toji Fushiguro

There was hardly any reason to get into arguments with Toji. He protected you, took good care of you and most importantly, showered you with love and made you feel so happy just by being with him. However, that doesn't mean that your relationship is always smooth sailing.

Arguments with him always escalate, but that's mainly because they hardly occur and your boyfriend doesn't really know how to deal with it. All his life, he's needed to fend for himself, so it's only natural for him to do the same during arguments with you.

You recently introduced Toji to a job. You used to work as a cashier in a bookstore and after contacting your previous colleague, who was now the manager, about job openings, they told you that there was an opening that just so happened to fit Toji perfectly. The job scope was mostly helping with organising the books in the bookstore, which your boyfriend definitely could do considering his strength and height.

Everything was going really well and he even got commended on his performance at work. Of course, you were really happy for him because he finally had a job and could earn money to support the both of you and the family he wanted to build with you. But that happiness was short lived after you realised that he started betting with his earnings like he did in the past. You couldn't help but feel a little bit betrayed because you thought he would know better than to go back to doing things like that, especially after learning how hard it was to earn money again. But old habits die hard, and you knew you had to stop it before it was too late.

You got Toji to sit with you and talk about how his job was going, before you slowly approached the topic of him betting his earnings. When you did reach that point, you asked him why continued to do it, as gently as you could so as to not make him feel attacked. But when he said that he was merely enjoying life and only betting a small amount each time, something in you snapped. It wasn't that you didn't want Toji to do what he liked to do, but you just couldn't accept that he forgot all about the future and saving money to start a family together. And so you lash out. You tell him that you suddenly feel alone in working towards having a better life and a family together, all while he tries to tell you that he was trying his luck to maybe win big and let you rest instead of working.

Somehow, that managed to make you soften up and as much as you wanted to stand your ground, you couldn't help but walk up to your boyfriend and press a kiss on his cheek. The mere fact that he was doing it so that there was a chance that if he won, he would let you rest and not have to work yourself so hard made you feel touched by his way of thinking.

Toji mumbled an apology, telling you that he didn't know you wouldn't approve of what he was doing and you could feel a wave of guilt wash upon you. You had never set any guidelines on how he should spend his money and you felt bad for making him apologise for doing something he liked with the money he earned himself. You muttered an apology as well, before pressing your lips against his to convey all the feelings you can't put into words.

Naoya Zenin

Arguments with him are the worst. The very very worst. They don't happen very often, but they always escalate quickly because he just lashes out and says everything he wants to say without letting you say anything, frustrating you in the process.

Almost every argument you have with him will escalate, and he just doesn't get that he should listen to you. He doesn't think that your insecurities might be bugging you, which is why the argument even starts. He doesn't stop to process that you're probably feeling really extreme emotions, that you're just desperate for some kind of affirmation and comfort from him. He doesn't realise that he should be gentle with you, instead of arguing with you.

Naoya doesn't spend much time away from you, he knows full well that if he does, your fears and insecurities would probably get the better of you. However, when he starts to do it subconsciously, you can't help but want some form of reassurance that he isn't doing it on purpose. It's your fear that he's still in contact with the Zen'in clan, the very people who abused you for months on end, the people he saved you from.

When you go to him, asking him about why he hasn't been spending as much time with you, he gets frustrated. He doesn't realise that he never told you about all the extra missions he's been taking on to save up more money to surprise you with a vacation for your birthday. He doesn't realise that you're scared, scared that he's going to turn against you and exploit you because you think he's spending time with the clan members, planning to bring you back to them.

And he just lashes out. He doesn't even give you time to explain yourself, he just starts telling you to learn to take care of yourself, to stop relying on him, to stop being "clingy and whiny". He doesn't stop shouting at you, saying that you don't understand why he's even doing all this. And it's true that you don't, because he never told you. He just gets so frustrated that he just continues yelling at you, until you can't hold it back anymore. You just break down in tears and run to your shared bedroom, slamming the door behind you.

Only then does he realise that he's taken it too far. The image of your tear-stricken face gets stuck in his mind, and he starts to feel really remorseful. He remembers you telling him that if he leaves you for too long, you get scared that he's leaving you. And yet that never crossed his mind when he was lashing out.

He goes to the bedroom, and knocks on the door asking if he can enter. And you never answer, too caught up in all your negative thoughts to process that he's trying to reach out to you. He always enters as quietly as possible, so it always catches you off guard. And when he sees how you look at him, your eyes shining with fear and sadness, looking at him like he's one of the clan members who abused you, he tears up too, because he never meant to hurt you that much. He grabs the blanket from the bed and wraps it around you snuggly, pulling you to his chest and letting you sob with him while he mutters apologies over and over again.

I think I went… a little crazy considering the length of this. I was honestly very tempted to make this into a hcs + short fic post and if this gets enough comments or asks requesting for a short fic part, I probably will do it =) Hope you enjoyed reading!

© @j2lx, 2022

[earl-grey-teacake]

i am so in love with the baby AU like omg you are THE BEST❤️❤️ Can you explain how the babies are reacting to the other drivers? (like how would oscar react if max pick him up etc.) i’m going to support this fic and your upcoming works too!! sending you much hugs🫶🩷

Thank you so much!!! I’m so happy you enjoy it!!!❤️❤️❤️ I can absolutely explain!

I gave brief overviews, I can absolutely go in-depth if you want me to. Just shoot me an ask! 😊

Max Verstappen

Logan and Oscar is very chill around Max. Max gives fun uncle vibes and honestly, he’s ecstatic about being an uncle. It’s like being a parent without all the responsibility and obligations of being a parent. He’s the kind of uncle that takes them on hot laps and throws them in the air much to the chagrin of their parents.

When they both start karting, he is the most competitive guest they ever invited. Like sure the parents are competitive, but Max is there for support and pulling Logan aside to tell him it's okay to send the kid that tried hit him in practice into the barrier to "teach them a lesson".

Checo Perez

They both like him. He doesn’t interact with them a lot but if they were in need of a babysitter, Checo is on the list. He’s responsible, listens to them babble on and on because that’s what he does with Max, and remember to feed them healthy food.

Charles Leclerc

Charles is great with kid. He loves kids.

Logan likes Charles a lot. He finds Charles really funny and in turn, Charles bribes Logan with vanilla ice cream and lets him play with Leo. He also dresses Logan up in either Ferrari merch or his own stuff to take photos and mess with the others. He also bought a Ferrari stroller to take Logan and Oscar around Monaco in. He is committed to turning them into Ferrari fans because everybody is a Ferrari fan.

Oscar is a little bit difficult to get into Ferrari merch. He is devoted to papaya and will squirm as they try to put a red t-shirt on him. Charles will sometimes pick him up from Lando's and Carlos's place in Monaco just to hand out with him. He can be seen walking Leo and pushing a Ferrari stroller on his way to lunch.

Fernando Alonso

Alonso is great with kids. He has a lot of energy which freaked Logan out at first but he quickly became a favorite. Fernando will put Logan up to things to scare his parents, mainly George. He’s convinced Logan to tell his parents and their team that Aston Martin is his favorite team and went as far as to train Logan to cheer when the Aston Martin appear on screen.

Oscar finds him annoying but Alonso finds Oscar hilarious. He's onboard for the Alpine hate. He finds Oscar silence funny and likes to mess with him to get a response. Oscar's response is a frustrated yell and bats his arms at Alonso.

Lewis Hamilton

Both children are in awe and a little bit of fear. Lewis has a vibe around him that seems otherworldly and the kids recognize it. He’s very fun to be around and he gets them a lot of snacks so they are always on their best behavior around him. Logan is constantly being held by him and Lewis holds full on conversations as Logan babbles and points. Oscar is silent the entire time he is held by Lewis, thought whether it is because of anxiety or because he's naturally silent, one cannot tell.

Lance Stroll

In one word, STRESSED. This man is stressed out at the idea of taking care of children and the children are both stressed out by him and for him. If one of them cries all three of them are crying. However, when they aren’t stressed out, Lance is the one who gives the most treats. Candy, cookies, expensive fruit, whatever they want. They are most peaceful when they are sat in a circle together sharing a box of cookies.

Yuki Tsunoda

Weirded out by babies. The can't walk on their own, have to be held, eat only pureed food- Yuki is not a fan. Is one of those people who just cannot hold babies. He sort of dangles them as they wiggle around. An unpleasant situation for both of them. The children, when they were younger were not a fan of being held by him.

He does however, enjoy their company when they are older and can eat solid food. He is committed to having them try a lot of different foods and they love the fact they get different foods all the time. It's really hard to live on a diet of only British food.

Daniel Ricciardo

This man is a child at heart. The kids find him hilarious and Daniel finds them incredibly amusing. He loves messing with Oscar by showing him clips of Alpine. He drives them around in his sports cars, takes them to petting zoos, overall fun uncle vibes.

Logan loves being around him. At first, he was really shy and Daniel's outgoing-ness only seemed to spook him but he warmed up after that. Oscar also finds him very funny but is very reactive to the Alpine clips.

Valtteri Bottas

Valtteri is great with the kid. They find Valterri incredibly amusing and funny. He's also the kind of person who would throw the kids in the air and catch them.

He is closer to Logan simply because of his proximity to Mercedes and Lewis. Logan sees him as one of the fun uncles in comparison to Lewis, who is more calm and reserved.

Zhou Guanyu

Oscar and Zhou get along very well. Both are very quiet and are content just being there. When spending time with him, Oscar is silently doing his thing while Zhou does his own stuff. It's a very compatible relationship.

Logan on the other hand, requires a bit more stimuli. He's easily entertained by videos of Zhou's cat, Sweetcorn. Logan loves animals put he can't have his own pet with al the traveling and they don't visit the UK a lot so Logan is very excited to see Zhou's cat, who is absolutely adorable.

***I am grouping them together since the response is very similar. I also find them to be much mellower people (with the exception of Alpine).

Nico Hulkenberg and Kevin Magnussen

Both of the kids interact very little with the Haas drivers. Both the drivers are also responsible parents so they interaction that they have had are always positive.

Logan has been mistaken to be their kid before. He's a blonde and green-eyed, he looks more like one of the Haas kids then Alex and George's.

Esteban Ocon and Pierre Gasly

Oscar is not a fan of both of them due to them being Alpine drivers. If they come to Oscar in non-Alpine clothes Oscar is fairly chill but since they are usually wearing their team kit, Oscar goes into a full-blown meltdown. We're talking screaming, crying, hiding behind Andrea and Zak as if the Alpine is going to come alive and eat him.

Logan doesn't interact with the drivers outside races and a majority of the time, his interactions are heavily influenced by Oscar's freak out. Oscar, in all his protectiveness, will not let Logan be near them lest his best friend be harmed.

Logan's one interaction outside of the paddock and without Logan was when Alex was invited to a Redbull event with the current and former drivers. George had refused to go on principle seeing as he called them out for their treatment of Alex and the fact he raced for one of their rivals. Logan was sat next to Pierre at the dinner where he was fed different types of cheeses the whole time because they wanted to his reactions. He also found out he is not a big fan of chevre cheese.

Thank you so much for the ask! I hope you like it.❤️

Sending hugs🥰 Please feel free to send more asks❤️

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Bittersweet Symphony 2

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Thor

Summary: you meet a god in real life but he’s not the saviour you think.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

As the baby of the family, Joanie always gets her way. So it is, that you find yourself walking down the street next to a god mad taller by the girl on his shoulders. Your sister is elated as she giggles and bounces, Thor entirely unbothered to be her steed as he gives her bird’s eye view of the city. You feel bad to have let her drag him into this. 

“I’m sorry about this. It’s her first time in New York,” you say softly. 

He looks down at you with his twinkling smile. He seems just as happy as her. “No mind, I rather enjoy her energy. And the city is rather amazing, who wouldn’t be so excited?” 

“I suppose,” you shrug. “But I’m sure you have more important things...” your voice trails off as you notice eyes aimed in your direction. A strange gawking at Thor as they pass by. 

“Oh, hi, hi, hi!” A cluster of women flurry up and block your path before you can reign in your attention, “Thor?” 

They trill with laughter as they look up at him, “so sorry to bother but we were hoping to get a picture, your majesty!” 

“Alas, fair ladies, not at this moment. I am otherwise entwined,” he refuses gently. “Forgive the disappointment.” 

The women don’t hide their emotions. You receive a derisive look from one of them as the others pout, hoping to impress upon Thor their desperation. He just steps between them and carries on. You follow as Joanie bops one his shoulders and tells him to giddy up. 

“Joan,” you chide her and poke her knee. 

“She is like a feather. Not very heavy at all,” Thor assures. “Unless you are impatient for your turn?” 

“My-- no, no, I think I’m much too big for that,” you chuckle. 

“You are a perfect size,” he declares. “Here, let me show you.” 

He stops and before you can react, he wraps his arm around your waist and lifts you as if you are nothing more than air. Your feet hover a foot over the ground as he stands straight and you squeal. He laughs again and sets you back down. 

“Wow, uh,” you trip as you get your footing again, “uh, no, I don’t think I want to be carried.” 

“Mm, my lady, did I hurt you?” His voice flattens. 

“No, I’m just... not used to it,” you continue on between the other pedestrians. They lack their usual apathy, parting easily for the god’s long strides. 

“In Asgard, a lady like you would ride on litters, draped in satin and pillows, reclining in the sun...” he intones.  

“A lady like me?” You scoff. 

“A princess, yes.” 

“Princess?” You tilt your head. 

“Why, yes, you are sisters. The little one told me she is a princess. Of some place called Pillow Fort.” 

“Pillow Fort... that’s her room. We aren’t royal. No where close. We don’t really have princesses around here.” You laugh. 

“No, I would believe you were. You look like a princess,” he insists. 

“That’s sweet of you,” you turn the corner and slow down. “I appreciate you humouring her but I think we’ve taken up enough of your time. Really. We’re not far from here--” 

“Noooo, I don’t want Thor to go,” Joanie wines and grabs onto his face, her small hands hooking around his jaw. His eyes widen as her grip slips to his throat and he coughs. He catches her hands and puts them in his short shanks of hair. 

“Joanie, he has people to help. Right?” You give him a look. He considers you but you don’t like how his cheek dimples. 

“I am her loyal mount, I must go where the warrior princess bids,” he declares. 

You sigh and lower your voice, “you don’t have to do this.” 

He smiles and bends down, his voice gravelly and quiet, “I want to,” his eyes narrow just a little with his statement and he stands at his full height once more, “it isn’t very often that even I spend the day with two princesses!” 

You cringe and shake your head as he presses on. You trail after him and curse your sister’s cuteness. It’s definitely not you keeping the god glued to your side. 

“I’m afraid it’s not much,” you say as you come to the grated door and take out your keys. “I wasn’t expecting company either.” 

“Never to mind,” Thor insists as he lets Joanie down. “Little one, wouldn’t want to hit your head.” 

He puts her ahead of him as you open the door then unlock the inner one. It sticks, the way it does on hotter days, and you lean into it, trying to dislodge it. His hand reaches above you and he jerks it out of the frame easily. You thank him as you nearly tumble through. 

“Right, well, I think we’ll let you go now,” you turn back and take Joanie’s hand. “Really--” 

“I’ve come this far and you mean to leave me on the street?” He challenges. 

You flinch, “oh no, it’s just... I didn’t want to waste any more of your time.” 

“You would know if you were.” 

You try not to show your uncertainty. He’s polite. Well, he is a hero, yet it’s all a bit much. He might be pasted across the media but he’s still just a stranger. 

“Pleaseeeee,” Joanie tugs on you. 

“Alright, but I’m warning you, it’s a pretty small place.” You keep hold of your sister and turn through the door.  

You lead the way up the narrow staircase as you usher her ahead of you. You hook around the banister at the top and go to your door. Another grinding twist and you have it unlocked. You push inward and Joanie bursts in. You enter and stand to the side of the doorframe and remind her to take her shoes off. 

As you do the same, Thor steps on the mat and closes the door behind him. Joanie races off around the small space as you bend to untie your hightops. Your guest unlaces his boots in the cramped entryway. 

“You are a very sweet sister to take her on,” he says as you both stand. “I’ve a brother here. You might know him too... though he not much loved by your people. I try to keep him close but he resists. He has ever been mercurial.” 

“She’s a good kid. Half-sister. We have different dads.” 

“Sisters nonetheless,” he affirms. “My brother is adopted but it doesn’t make us any less family. So much as he hate to admit it.” 

You give a soft laugh but it cuts short as you see Joanie approach the covered desk. Shoot. You knew the blanket couldn’t protect your ceramics for long. You rush away from Thor to stop her. 

“Joanie, be careful. You don’t want to break anything. You could cut yourself.” You sense Thor watching as you catch Joanie before she can tear the blanket down. Instead, you redirect her with the offer of juice. “I bought your favourite, tropical punch.” 

[roseghoul26]

Hello! I would like to request Cooper Howard x gn!reader (post war, because...murderous cowboy...hnnngh), where they struggle with mental health issues like depression? I've been in a really tough spot, having no energy or motivation to do anything or really any desire to take care of myself. So I was thinking, maybe the reader's mental health is declining, they're slower and sloppier when it comes to keeping up with Cooper and he's more and more frustrated. Then one day he has enough (maybe the reader is taking too long packing up) and threatens to leave them and they're just...passive, because they really don't care anymore about what happens to them. So he realises they haven't been taking care of themselves properly for a while now and then some soft moments with him? I know this is pretty dark and you can change this however you'd like, but I'm dying for some hurt/comfort with this man 🥺 It's totally cool if it's too much for you, if you decide to not write this, please just let me know, so I don't wait for it. Thank you so much, I love your Cooper fics <3

Cooper Howard | The Ghoul x gn!Reader

Synopsis: You’ve been struggling lately, putting both you and your traveling companion in danger. He was bound to confront you about it eventually. Tags: Prompt Request, Not Beta Read, Gender Neutral Reader, Depression, Mental Health, Mentions of Suicide, Disagreements, Comfort, Lazy Day, Cuddling, Beginning Relationships Author's Note: Trigger warning for topics relating to mental health, such as depression and suicide. Please do not read if you’re not in a good mental space. Take care of yourselves. Also, everyone’s experience with depression and mental health issues differs, so I am writing this story the way I experience it. Also, this was a fun challenge to write. Like how the hell would he approach a topic like this? It’s been fun to explore his character like that, and I hope I did it justice. Thank you so much for the request! <333

You used to be able to keep up with the Ghoul. 

Wherever he went, you followed, tearing through the Wastleland without hindrance. You watched his back, and he yours, a security that was unheard of in this world. It was a trusting friendship, bordering on something else, something that neither of you had crossed yet. You couldn't compete with over a hundred years of experience with a gun, but you were able to hold your own quite well. You were a decent shot and someone who never let anyone get the drop on you, senses always sharp. 

So when you started missing easy targets and found yourself surprised by opponents one too many times, you knew it was a matter of time before the Ghoul started asking questions and not believing the first lie that you said. The first time it had happened, you blamed it on your lack of sleep, and he seemed to buy it. And maybe you convinced yourself it was just a lack of sleep, ignoring the darkness that had begun to emerge in your mind. You just needed to rest, was what you told yourself. 

It happened again a few days later, completely missing a target in front of you. Your reactions had begun to slow down, too, unable to avoid the swing of a blade, cutting across your cheek. It was like your body gave up on wanting to move, an unbearable weariness to your muscles that you were unable to shake. Later, as you bandaged the wound on your cheek, the Ghoul confronted you, demanding to know why you were acting so sloppy. You’d merely shrugged, offering up the idea that you were sick. This time he seemed less convinced, yet he had let the matter go. 

You knew why you were acting the way you were. You weren’t unfamiliar with depression, far from it. It was something you’d dealt with your entire life, coming and going like waves. You’d go days, weeks, months and you’d be fine, but then a flip would switch. You’d lose your energy, your motivation, wanting nothing more than to just lay on the ground and never get back up. You’d stop taking care of your body. You’d lose your appetite. Your thoughts would turn dark, ideations and ideas flashing in your mind, things that you’d never tell another soul. 

For the months you’d been traveling with the Ghoul, you’d been able to keep a reign on your depression. Sure, you had your off days, but nothing like this. It was like the universe was punishing you for having such an excellent past months. 

But how could you explain this to your traveling partner? How could you explain that you didn’t have the energy to continue existing, to continue fighting? He needed you to be alert, to not have your thoughts occupied with something, that in perspective to the Wasteland around you, was trivial. 

So you kept your mouth shut, forcing yourself to appear alert and unaffected. You forced those thoughts to the back of your mind. You forced your body to move, no matter how much it screamed at you to just be still.

But it seemed that all that bottling your thoughts up did was make it worse. As the days dragged on, you stopped talking, only muttering small words whenever the Ghoul asked you a question. You’d normally spend the time traveling conversing, and the Ghoul did try to initiate a conversation with you, but no amount of questions and joking and jabs could get you to break. Eventually, he fell quiet too.

Sleeping became a challenge. You’d think with how exhausted your body felt, you’d be able to sleep easily, but the opposite was true. Hours would tick by, and you’d lie awake, getting up the next morning more exhausted than before you went to bed. Your face, already a bit gaunt from living such a difficult life, had grown even more so, the circles around your eyes darkening and your lips growing more chapped. 

You stopped eating, turning away the food he offered you. After you went a few days without eating more than a bite, he practically forced spoonfuls of food into your mouth, snapping at you the entire time. It was humiliating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to change. You just wanted to be done. 

You could tell that your demeanor was starting to annoy the hell out of the Ghoul, whose words had turned shorter and snappier. If you took too long, he’d grab you by the shoulder and drag you along, like an upset parent with their child. Your cheeks would burn every time, tears pickling your eyes, and you’d hang your head. 

There was a tension growing between you and the Ghoul, your friendship growing thin. His guard was up constantly, unable to trust you any longer to watch his back, which hurt you more than any knife or gun. Soft glances disappeared, his gaze scrutinizing when he looked at you. Light touches from him reserved for when you were at rest were no more, as you chose to keep to yourself every night. Instead of walking side-by-side, you’d linger a few feet behind him. You pretended like it was easier this way, to make him push you away, but it was tearing you apart. 

But eventually, that tension snapped. Too many close calls, too many sluggish movements, too many half-hearted excuses finally made him break. You’d just gotten up for the day, another sleepless night behind you, and you were packing up your few belongings. You must’ve been taking too long, because you heard him sigh audibly, standing in the open doorway of the room you’d sheltered in for the night. “What’s your fuckin’ issue?” He growled, arms crossed tight over his chest.

You looked up, feigning confusion. “I dunno what-”

“Bullshit,” he cut you off. He began to walk towards you, his steps methodical, threatening. “You’ve been actin’ like this for weeks, and you’ve only offered me half-assed excuses.” He was seething, and understandably so. He crouched down in front of you, rendering you unable to escape. “So, you,” he stuck a finger in your chest, barely avoiding hitting you, “are gonna tell me why. And don’t even think ‘bout lyin’, sweetheart.”

You swallowed, heart hammering in your chest at the confrontation. Words flooded your mind, a full explanation on the tip of your tongue, yet you just couldn’t bring yourself to utter it. Your mouth opened and closed, struggling, until you eventually just gave up. Sighing, you just shook your head, which pissed him off even more. 

A disbelieving laugh left him, and he ran a gloved hand over his face. “No? You’re kiddin’ me, right?” He didn’t wait for a response. “Ya know, I’ve tried to be lenient. I bought into your fuckin’ lies that you were ‘just tired’, ‘just sick’. I tried to give ya space, to give ya time to get out of this. But you’re gonna get us both killed if ya don’t fix yourself. I can’t be distracted out there, constantly worried ‘bout you and keepin’ you alive, ‘cause it seems like that’s the last thing on your mind.”

He took a breath, steadying his rising voice. “So I’m gonna give ya one more chance to explain yourself, or else I’m leavin’ without ya.”

“Then leave.” Your response came almost immediately, your voice lacking any inflection. Even though in the back of your mind you were screaming at him not to leave, you kept an air of indifference about you, unable to make yourself care. It would be easier if he just left, wouldn’t it? You wouldn’t be putting anyone else in danger, and you wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt you felt of him worrying about you so much. And it would be so much easier to just disappear if there was no one looking for you.

He wasn’t expecting that as a response if the look on his face told you anything. His brow muscles were raised, leaning back from you in shock. But the way he was watching you, it was like he was observing you in a different light, dots beginning to connect in his mind. “You’ll die out there without me.” 

You merely shrugged your shoulders, glancing down to continue packing your belongings, no longer able to look him in the eye. He didn’t respond, simply standing up with a sigh. You didn’t look up, not even as you heard him walk away, backing towards the entrance of the room. You didn’t look up, even as you heard the surprisingly gentle click of the door as it shut. You didn’t look up, even as the tears that you’d been holding for the past weeks finally fell.

You were alone.

You thought it would make you feel better like there would be a weight lifted off your shoulders. But everything just felt heavier, the thoughts in your mind becoming a tempest, making you physically weak. Expletives tumbled from your lips as you sagged down onto your arms, head hung. Of course, he’d fucking leave, you idiot. No one wants to deal with your moping.

A part of you wanted to chase after him, to beg him to stay, but you already felt pathetic enough. You couldn’t blame him for leaving, not at all. You were weighing him down, putting his life in danger; he said so himself. He could only deal with you for so long. You should be grateful that he didn’t leave sooner.

The sound of rustling fabric made you jump, finally looking up. The Ghoul had taken off his jacket, laying it across the back of the couch he had slept on, never having left the room at all. Stunned, you watched him sit, taking his hat off in the process and setting it on the floor. He finally caught your eye then, a soft look on his face, a look you hadn’t seen in a long while. 

“I thought you left,” you whispered, sitting back upright. Embarrassment warmed your cheeks, and you tried to wipe the tears that had fallen on them. 

“I ain’t leavin’ ya, sweetheart.”

“Why not?”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Do you want me to go?” You’d never shaken your head faster in your life. “Then I’m stayin’.”

“But why?”

He sighed. “‘Cause I care ‘bout you. I… Is that too hard to believe?”

It is. Unable to find words, you just shrugged again. 

Something akin to regret or remorse flashed across his face, and muttering something under his breath he reclined against the couch. He was upset, but even now you could tell it was not because of you, at least not fully. “C’mere,” he murmured, patting the couch beside him. “You look like you’re gonna fuckin’ bolt at any second.”

Taking a steadying breath, you complied, albeit with some difficulty, your legs barely wanting to function. His gaze didn’t leave you once, as much as you wished it would, making you want to collapse in on yourself. The walk to the couch felt like it was miles long, but you eventually made your way over to it and him. 

He rolled his eyes when you just stood there in front of him, unsure of what to do with yourself. “Sit down, I ain’t gonna fuckin’ bite.” In another situation, you knew he’d add some comment like unless ya want me to, but he bit his tongue. The couch groaned as you sat next to the Ghoul, keeping a foot between your bodies. “Talk to me,” he commanded, yet his voice was gentle. “What the hell’s goin’ on?”

You picked at the skin around your nails, no doubt drawing blood. “I’m… I’m not quite sure how to explain it,” you responded, and you expected your words to upset the man even more. But he nodded his head slowly, an almost understanding look on his face. “I’m just… done."

“Done with… what? Bein’ out on the road?” You shook your head. “Travellin’ with me?” You shook your head again, this time more vehemently. “Done with what?” You knew that he knew the answer to his question, but he wanted you to say it.

“I’m done with… with existing. I just can’t bring myself to care anymore. I’m just so tired of it all.” You sagged back against the couch like speaking took a toll on your body. “I’m so tired.”

He didn’t respond for a while, mulling over your words. “That… that explains a lot,” he chuckled humourlessly. “Your mind won’t just leave ya the hell alone, will it? It's like all your mind can focus on are these terrible fuckin’ things, no matter what ya do. And it just weighs on ya, like a million pounds, getting worse with every passin’ day until you just wanna… give up.”

He explained it perfectly, and you cocked your head to the side, a bit confused about how he was able to do so. “I ain’t a stranger to what you’re goin’ through. We’re well fuckin’ acquainted, to say the least. So I shoulda recognized it sooner with ya.” 

He paused, sighing. “Wanna know somethin’?” You nodded. “I was too busy thinkin’ ‘bout what I did to upset ya that I didn’t bother to think of any other possible reason as to why you’re actin’ the way you are. But once I realized it wasn’t my fault, not entirely, instead of bein’ there for ya, I was an ass. I thought, because I’m a damn idiot, that you were just mopin’ around for the hell of it, putting us both in danger simply ‘cause you were tired or some shit. Not once did I stop to think why. And I apologize.”

“You don’t gotta-” He cut you off with a pointed look. “I… I accept your apology, then.”

He nodded slowly, content. “I’d like to help ya, sweetheart. I know nothin’ I say or do is gonna make it go away like that… but I’d like to try. Whatever ya need from me, and you’ve got it.”

“I’m not sure what I need exactly,” you admitted quietly.

“When ya figure it out, will ya let me know?” You nodded.

“Just… be patient. As difficult as that is for you.” You hadn’t meant for the jab to come out, but you weren’t taking it back. Especially when a loud laugh left the Ghoul, making a smile of your own appear on your face. It was faint, yet it was there.

An almost starstruck expression appeared on his face, his laughter dying out. “I missed seein’ ya smile,” he murmured as if it was a subconscious thought.

You ducked your head, making him laugh again. “As for bein’ patient, well, I can be that, if that’s what ya need.”

“It’ll take some time,” you cautioned again, indirectly giving him a chance to back out of this. 

“Time ain’t an issue. I’ll wait as long as it fuckin’ takes.”

“You mean it?” Your voice was so soft, barely audible to either of you. 

You watched as one of his gloved hands inched towards you, palm upturned. Tentatively, you placed your in his, eyes growing wide when he brought your hand to his lips, kissing the back of it gently. “I swear,” he uttered, sealing the promise with another press of his lips.

As you returned your tingling hand to your lap, his eyes scanned over your face, a furrow appearing between his brow. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten somethin’? Somethin’ that I didn’t force ya to eat,” he added when you opened your mouth to respond. 

Your silence said enough, and he leaned down to his bag, which he had placed beside the couch when he sat. After a few moments of rustling through, he handed you a small bag of what appeared to be jerky, as well as a small canteen of water. “It ain’ human,” he added when you eyed the bag suspiciously before taking it.

The jerky was salty and tough when you took a bite, not quite wanting to, but unable to not eat under his gaze. You ate in silence until your stomach was full and your teeth hurt from the tough material. Taking a swig of water, you could feel your eyes growing heavy, eating seemingly draining your energy more than replenishing it. Stifling a yawn, you shoved the canteen back into his hand, and you noticed he had an almost pleased look on his face. 

You were confused, though, when he stood, making his way to the entrance of the room. For a moment, those thoughts flashed in your mind that told you that he was finally leaving, that he realized how pathetic you were. But instead of doing any of those things, you watched as he simply wedged a chair under the handle of the door, like he had done before you went to bed for the night. 

“What’re you doing?”

“We takin’ the day off. Doctor’s orders.”

“But aren’t we supposed to be in Filly in a few days?”

“We’ll be fine. You are gonna spend today catchin’ up on some much-needed rest.” He stood in front of you now, a moth-eaten blanket in his hands. 

“And what are you gonna do?” You asked, and he shrugged. 

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, sweetheart. Go ‘head, lie down.”

Your eyes quickly scanned the couch, and you took a deep breath before speaking again. “The couch is big enough for us both, no?”

For the second time that day, you’d stunned him with your responses. “Is… is that what ya want?”

Encouraged that he hadn’t just outrightly said no, you nodded your head, and a fond look crossed his features. He handed you the blanket before sitting once more, but instead of his back being against the cushions, he rested it against one of the armrests, not before tucking a pillow in front of it. 

Once he was situated, he opened up his arms to you, and you could’ve laughed at how uncertain he looked. Hands rested on your body when you laid down, head on his chest, laying on your stomach, and you made sure the blanket covered both your bodies as best you could. You weren’t too worried about covering all of you, though, with the sheer amount of warmth he was radiating. 

His eyes were already on you when you glanced up, a smile pulling at his lips. “Comfy?”

“Yes.” Your voice was barely audible, but he heard it. 

You felt his fidget with something in his hand behind your back, but you didn’t have to wait long to find out what he was doing. You felt fingers run along your scalp, making you shudder, before combing through any hair there. “Alright?”

You sighed contently, nodding your head before letting it fall back onto his chest. He continued to run his fingers there, his other hand tracing patterns across your shoulders. You hadn’t realized how tired you were until now, finding it hard to keep your eyes open. For the first time in a long time, you felt safe. Safe from the world outside this room. Safe from the thoughts that plagued your mind. Safe from everything. 

He didn’t have to see your face to know that you were struggling to stay awake. “Go to bed. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“Promise?”

“Ain’t fuckin’ like I’m gonna be able to get up,” he chuckled, before taking a more serious tone. “I promise.”

That was all you needed to hear before you finally let the final strings of consciousness leave your grasp. Before you lost control of all your senses, though, you felt him lean down, pressing a barely-there kiss to the top of your head. “You’ll get through this, sweetheart.”

You believed him.

[stomach-bugg09]

hi omg i love your oldest sister fics!!!! Maybe another where she is one of the most feared warriors in the clan ? and when they leave rhe forest she meets someone (romantic) at the new clan ? the sully family is probably not accustom to seeing her be romantic and in love.;)

summary: [y/n] sully is in love, and everyone is scared.

a/n: I LOVE THIS IDEA. LIKE SO VERY MUCH. thank you so much anon for this beautiful experience, it was so fun to write. i actually am really proud of this, given it's pretty long ( 4.6k words, oml !! ) and i put a good ( insane ) amount of effort in. i also kept using this as a way to take a break from studying, so thanks for keeping me from burning out anon! feedback, reblogs, and reqs are always appreciated !!

tags: @pinkhotdogsfr @eywas-heir @historygeekqueen

warnings: literally none, maybe some language, a bit of angst at first ( just sad — i made myself very unhappy ), emotionally hurt + comfort, a sickening amount of fluff, really long, [y/n] x oc but this oc is actually such a sweetie pie i love him, [y/n] being the cutest little patootie of all time

change is scary

every omaticayan knew of [y/n] sully. they knew she was a fierce warrior, a strong warrior. they knew she took after her mother, the archery gene running strong through her veins right next to her urge to protect.

they all knew that, being the oldest child of their olo’eyktan, she was expected to fill the position of the tsahik one day in the far future, and her training reflected just that. not only was she deeply connected with eywa thanks to the teachings of both her mother and grandmother, but she was intelligent when it came to war. she sat in at every single war meeting with her father, silently taking note of everything that was exchanged.

after seventeen long years of listening and learning, [y/n] was considered one of the strongest warriors in their clan. she was well respected, more respected than even some of the elder warriors.

part of her soul felt pride. pride in herself, in her abilities. but, another part of her soul felt empty. almost like she’d missed a third of her childhood because she’d been busy shaking the hands of generals from other clans.

but now… now all of that, all of that time wasted as she straightened her shoulders and stood tall in front of clan leaders, time wasted as she stared at raid maps, time wasted as she trained with the most skilled warriors of the omaticaya… it was all going down the drain.

“we must leave. it is unsafe here.”

she fought tears, told herself she was far too mature for them. she swallowed screams, told herself she needed to set an example for her siblings. the only time she broke was the night before they left, leaving her on her knees before the tree of souls, begging eywa, “why? why must you do this to me? just when i was this close?”

[y/n] was not sad. no, she was angry. but she had nobody to be angry at. it wasn’t like her parents were wrong for wanting to keep her family safe.

maybe if i’d killed that avatar when i had the chance, she cursed herself, remembering when her arrow’d been pointed directly at the heart of quaritch, only being interrupted by the other avatar that shot at her. thanks to the will of eywa, he was a terrible shot and she came out unscathed.

she held a stoic look upon her face during the ceremony in which her father passed along the title of olo’eyktan to tarsem. it wasn’t that she had anything against tarsem and his mate—in fact, she thought they were considerably good choices. but that was supposed to be her. that was supposed to be her ceremony.

by the time they had to leave, [y/n] had nothing left, no energy left to try and hold it down. so, instead she remained silent, because if she decided to say a farewell to even one person… she knew herself well enough to not trust the floodgates.

as they flew, her butt growing sorer and sorer by the second, she remained distant. the air was calming, the breeze allowing her a moment to breath.

she was so wrapped up in her own thoughts she didn’t notice her family exchange glances, all silently deciding to leave [y/n] to work through it herself. they knew her, and they knew she would not let them help. i’m fine, she would say, and she would keep saying it until they finally gave up.

it was only when they reached their new home in the metkayina clan that she began to show herself again, but even that was the tiniest peek.

as ronal circled the group of foreigners, her hands trailing over them as to check out what features they offered, [y/n] immediately felt on alert. her ears perked, eyes narrowing at the tsahik, a growl growing at the back of her throat.

when she held up lo’ak’s hand for the entire clan to see, as if shaming him for his lineage—a lineage that he was born into without a choice, [y/n] stepped forward, teeth bared. immediately, neteyam pulled her backwards, just as jake did with neytiri.

her action pulled ronal’s attention, their eyes locking. the tsahik circled her, watching as [y/n]’s tail swished, lip curled in disgust.

ronal did not miss as her eyes flared for even a split second as she stopped in front of the girl, grabbing [y/n]’s face with one hand. the air immediately got tenser, tonowari and jake sharing very similar expressions of concern, the latter grabbing his mate before she could make any dumb decisions.

[y/n]’s tail fell to a pause, her air stuck in her chest as she stared directly into the metkayina woman’s eyes.

“if you are seeking refuge, i suggest that you don’t threaten anyone.”

[y/n] bared her teeth at that, fangs making a show just for her. “if you are seeking to make enemies with the toruk makto, then why don’t you just say that?”

now, in this moment, most members of the metkayina clan were justifiably upset. speaking to their tsahik like that? well, of course they would be angry. but, in the crowd of metkayina stood one boy, his eyes unable to leave that girl. that girl who was full of anger, of spite, of bitterness for the world. she was captivating.

as the rest of the crowd gasped at the seventeen year old’s words, he couldn’t help but laugh, immediately covering his mouth as his friends sent him a look and an elbow in the ribs.

the only other person to smile at her words was, shockingly, ronal. the tsahik felt the smallest grin rise to her lips, taking her hand off of the girl’s face and taking a step back. as soon as she was back with tonowari, it was like the look of amusement had never been there.

once she’d stepped back, silence seemed to settle in the air. it was heavy, weighing on [y/n]’s shoulders just as much as the look her father sent her. behave, remember? he seemed to be telling her.

her mother’s look of pride made her feel a bit better, though.

as a way to regain the attention of the crowd, tonowari cleared his throat. “toruk makto is a great war leader. all na’vi people know his story.” he then locked eyes with jake. “but we metkayina are not at war.” [y/n]’s eyes followed tuk, watching as the small girl walked over to her father, allowing for the father to pick her up and hold her in his arms. “we cannot let you bring your war here.”

jake nodded in agreement. “i’m done with war, okay. i just.. want to keep my family safe.” at that, they seemed to pull closer together, neytiri grabbing the hands of her two eldest daughters.

“uturu has been asked,” the mother added, her eyes meeting those of tonowari.

the silence was deadly. [y/n] could feel pins of anxiety, her breath getting shallower. and what if they send us away? where else would we go? just keep trying and trying to find someone to take us?

after what seemed like forever, tonowari turned away from them and towards the people. “toruk makto and his family will stay with us.” immediately, relief flooded her body, her head dropping in appreciation. “treat them as your brothers and sisters. they do not know the sea, so they will be like babies taking their first breath.” at that, [y/n] felt her mother cringe beside her. and, as a wonderful way to finish their introduction to the metkayina people, he added, “teach them our ways so they not suffer the shame of being useless.”

she felt neteyam’s grab her tail at that, tugging it to keep her from saying anything stupid.

“okay,” jake sighed, relieved. he turned to his family. “what do we say?”

“thank you,” they all mumbled except for tuk whose tone was very genuine.

[y/n], however, remained silent. at a sharp look from her father, she swallowed. “thank you,” she added, exhaling a deep breath.

beside tonowari stood two kids, a boy and a girl. “my son ao’nung and my daughter tsireya will show your children what do,” he informed the family. [y/n] stifled a chuckle as the boy, ao’nung, tried to argue his way out of it. “it has been decided,” tonowari shut him down.

tsireya, however, looked more than happy to do it, and based on the way her baby brother was staring at the metkayina girl, lo’ak didn’t seem to mind either. “come, i will show you our village.”

if there was one thing that shocked [y/n] during her time in awa’atluI, it was that she horridly terrible. terrible at everything. from riding an ilu to being a quick swimmer. it was awful. and maybe the whole brink of the problem was the fact that she could barely hold her breath for a time, making it nearly impossible to learn to do anything else.

it’d been a few weeks of relearning the ways of life, and it felt as if she was making absolutely no progress. the simple things, such as food and even dancing, came easy to her. but learning to make food and dance was not going to make her a successful warrior, and even tonowari knew they needed to train her to fight with them based on the stories that her father told of her. ( he also recognized her the moment that ronal faced her off—how could tonowari forget the face of one of most mature eight year olds that he’d ever met way back in the day when he visited the omaticaya for a war meeting. )

but, for the love of eywa, [y/n] was useless. completely and utterly! and the fact of it made her sick to her stomach.

ao’nung was her first teacher, and he was a complete imbecile. tsireya was patient with her, but her optimism made me feel even guiltier by the day. eventually, one day out of the blue, the two children of ronal and tonowari brought forth a male.

this male was around [y/n]’s age. he was tall, muscular, and based on his tattoos, he was an announced warrior of the metkayina. tsireya introduced him as fali.

it turned out, based on further conversation between [y/n] and tsireya, that fali had grown up with the two kids. he was the son of respected warrior, a warrior that was considered ronal’s best friend. in a way, fali was like their big brother.

at that, [y/n] thought that… maybe they could be friends. maybe they had more in common!

she was wrong, and after a days of knowing him, she came to the conclusion that their older sibling roles happened to be the only thing in common.

while [y/n] was smart, responsible, respectful… fali was stupid, annoying, and careless. it was driving [y/n] up the wall! if he was the “older sibling,” why did he egg ao’nung on? if he was the “older sibling,” why did he dare the younger boys to go beyond the reef? if he was the “older sibling,” why was he so… reckless?

so, to say that [y/n] was exhausted with both him and the entirety of trying to rewire her brain, well… that would be a major understatement.

but, alas, she was still expected to learn. unfortunately for her, she took the role as the older sibling quite seriously, and she tried to set a good example out of herself!

now she treaded water in the middle of the reef, the sun beaming down on her face and shoulders. in front of her floated fali, the boy drifting stomach up with his hands rested behind his head.

[y/n] did not look amused, as unfortunate as fali found it. he was letting the sun practically burn his face off, and she wouldn’t even smile!

after an excruciating amount of time, fali let out a yelp of surprise when he felt her hand grab his tail, yanking him downwards. when he resurfaced, she had the faintest shadow of a grin. she nearly drowns me and she still can’t smile fully. what is wrong with her?

while [y/n] thought fali to be reckless and far too carefree, fali found her to be way too uptight. i mean, sure, old habits die hard after being raised as the future tsahik, but couldn’t she let loose once in a while?

“can we please start?” the girl asked, tone exasperated.

he rolled his eyes, a smile playing at his lips. “well, i apologize. i didn’t realize you were so eager to learn. i mean, you usually just complain.”

[y/n] sighed, sending him a look of annoyance. he does not shut up, does he? but, he wasn’t wrong… however, she didn’t let him know that her heart dropped once he decided to actually start teaching her for the day.

it was an unusually long lesson, but it was filled with the same issues as every other day. fali telling her what to do, [y/n] being unable to do it, [y/n] getting mad at herself, fali trying to help her fix it, [y/n] telling him that she’s fine, fali stepping back and watching her battle herself… it was always a pleasant time.

this time, however, things just seemed to be a little more on edge. she seemed to be a little more annoyed. at him, at herself. she was a balloon ready to burst, and fali was bracing himself for the moment that she did.

it was after the sixth time in which she failed to breath correctly that he knew it was going down. he watched her face flush, eyes narrowing as she continued to try and fix it.

“no, [y/n],” he offered, voice soft. she always made him feel guilty, guilty of ever getting annoyed. he knew that she was trying her best. “just… breathe from here. pretend as if there’s a flame within your belly, offering your lungs support and warmth.”

“i’m trying!” she snapped, eyes brimming with tears before she quickly turned away, eyes avoiding his eyes.

the two faded to silence, simply sitting on a rock in the middle of the reef, staring at the setting sun ahead of them. the horizon was gorgeous, a beautiful orange contrasting the blue of the sea.

they sat there, in silence, until just before eclipse.

as they neared curfew, [y/n] inhaled deeply, preparing herself to get up and leave. but, a gentle hand on her knee stopped her. she turned to fali.

“do you know what i think?” he began, voice gentle. “i think that you are more than capable to do this.”

[y/n] scoffed. “if that were true, i would be out there, not stuck with… with you!”

at that, he huffed a laugh, running his fangs over his bottom lip. “i’m going to ignore that comment and continue getting to my point,” he jokes, his eyes widening at the smallest flicker of a smile on her lips. “i believe that something, whether you realize it or not, is keeping you from being successful—my guess being that it’s subconscious—but i digress. i believe that you are scared, [y/n]. scared of doing it right, scared of becoming one of the metkayina because once you are one of our people, you feel like you are betraying your home.”

the girl beside him shook her head in disbelief. “you believe? or you know? because you sure said that—that soliloquy—as if you know me.” [y/n] stood up, taking a few steps backwards. “i have known you for seven days, fali. seven days! and suddenly you decide that you can analyze me?”

fali laughed at that. “seven days is enough for you to decide that you hate me!” he pointed out, a disbelieving smile playing on his lips.

“well, you wear everything on the outside. every bit of stupidity, recklessness, carelessness.” she grit her teeth. “you are an open book, and i am closed. that is the truth.”

“i wear what i want to wear,” fali argued, standing up to face her, the two getting closer by the second. they got closer by the insult thrown. “you think i am dumb, but i am not. i am smart enough to make it so that people like you—people who do not care to look past their own bubble—cannot see my vulnerabilities.”

[y/n] bared her teeth. “you think me ignorant? blind, even? i have seen more of the world than you, i have fought dream-walkers, watched as my baby siblings had death looming above their heads. you are clueless to what is beyond awa’atlu.” a growl built in the back of her throat, their faces extremely close together. “i build my—my ‘bubble,’ as you called it—because i know what is beyond your dimwitted understanding!”

the two were silent, the tension electric between them. behind them the sun was set beyond the horizon, eclipse having already passed. waves lapped at the rock, the incoming high tide making it so their feet were splashed with the salty water.

as they stared at each other, a sense of understanding seemed to bless both of them. fali’s eyes never left those of [y/n]... her ( beautiful ) narrowed eyes. and [y/n] didn’t miss the way that the moons reflected on fali’s aquamarine skin, his bioluminescent freckles splattering the sides of his face.

[y/n] could have sworn she felt herself lean in, towards him, until the familiar call of her mother brought her back to reality.

“[y/n]?” neytiri called from their marui.

the girl swallowed, stepping back quickly. she cleared her throat before yelling back, “coming!” and with one last look at fali, she dove into the waters.

the next few days were odd, to put it simply. suddenly, there was no aggravation towards each other, but it was much more tense in an… awkward way.

a part of [y/n] was filled with spite, and by the time they got to working again, she was doing better than she had been for weeks. she was actually making progress! and it was all to shove it in fali’s face.

unfortunately for her, fali was much more hesitant when it came to helping her. he refused to touch her stomach as to help her breathing, his movements stiff and scared, resembling that of a baby hexapede.

but, [y/n] didn’t need him…? the others found it extremely peculiar. one day, she’s out past curfew, and right after she suddenly fixed nearly all her mistakes. very odd indeed…

it did not take long for her first free dive. her breathing improved astoundingly, her swimming technique also getting better from watching tsireya when she showed kiri and tuk around the reef.

“do you see this shell?” fali held it up, the sunlight reflecting off of its shiny exterior.

she rolled her eyes. “yes, i see the shell.”

“that’s good.” he blinked, eyes shifting away from her’s with a sheepish grin. “uh, anyway,” he continued, clearing his throat. “i assume you understand the drill? i drop it, you find it.”

“yes, fali,” she sighed. “i am fully aware of how this works. now, i would rather get it done with soon so i don’t have to live in anxiety anymore.” [y/n] locked eyes with fali. “please just drop the shell.”

and he did. she swallowed as she watched it float down, the depths looking much more abyssal-like than they normally did.

“remember,” fali’s soft tone grabbed her attention, “there is nothing to fear. you are stronger than you know, and if you begin to doubt yourself… think of you returning with the shell and rubbing it in my face.” at that, [y/n]’s face flushed, embarrassed. he smiled at her expression. “yes, i know that’s the only reason you’ve suddenly been trying, but… if it works, it works.”

and for once, she smiled. actually smiled. and fali felt himself burst with pride. somehow, it felt better that it wasn’t one of his stupid jokes, or his silly slip-ups. no, he made her smile just by talking to her. by being fali.

stunned, fali only remembered that he was supposed to be helpful when she stared at him expectantly with those bright [e/c] eyes of her’s. he lifted his hands, miming lungs filling with air as he reminded, “deep breath. this is all yours. nothing to fear, only to look forward to.”

with that, the girl dove in.

underneath the surface, she felt at peace. for the first time ever, [y/n] wasn’t freaking out while submerged in the salty water. instead, her jaw seemed to gape in awe at the scenery around her.

the deeper she went, the more starstruck that she was. there were layers to this reef that she hadn’t even been aware of. layers that she’d only heard from tales of her siblings, not truly understanding how magical they actually were.

as she kicked her feet towards the ocean floor, she heard fali’s voice in her head. “the way of water has no beginning and end.” she caught sight of the shell. “the sea is around you and in you. the sea is your home, before your birth and after your death.” she stifled a cry of joy as a school of fish swam around her, tickling her sides with their soft touches. “our hearts beat in the womb of the world. our breath burns in the shadows of the deep.” she was nearly there, her hand outstretched to grab the small artifact. “the sea gives and the sea takes.” she got it! oh, eywa, she got it! it was in her hand! oh, how proud fali will be! “water connects all things.” she began to swim up, a smile stuck on her face. “life to death,” she resurfaced, “darkness to light.”

“fali!” she cried, spinning around in a circle to catch the eyes of the boy. “fali, look!” she held it up, her expression beaming with pride.

and fali couldn’t help it either, his own smile taking over his features. “[y/n]!” he exclaimed, jumping off of the rock and swimming to her. “you did it! oh, eywa, you actually did it!” he stared at the shell as they tread water. “oh, how proud i am!”

her silence caused him to turn, staring her in the eyes. “[y/n]?”

she swallowed, her eyes locked on the shell in her hands. “fali,” she began, voice quiet. “i have a wallowing fear that you were right.”

at those words, fali gaped silently. instead of answering right away, he began to tug her towards the rock, allowing for them to get out of the water so her could properly comfort her.

once she was settled on the rock, she carefully placed the shell down, pulling her knees close to her chest. she felt like a child again, helpless against her emotions. “i was scared. not of the ocean, not of swimming, not of drowning.” she looked up, locking eyes with fali. “i was scared of abandoning my people.”

a tear dropped from her eye, and fali immediately had her hands resting on [y/n]’s biceps. “hey,” he called softly, forcing her to look him in the eyes again. “you are not abandoning them. you are… learning. you are learning how to adapt, how to survive. in fact, i think that is more in touch with your culture and ancestors! you are just like them, trying to adapt and survive in a world that is trying to kill you.” she smiled a little at that. maybe he wasn’t so stupid. “you are not weak for fearing change… you are normal. it is okay to be normal every once in a while, as much as you enjoy being the big sister that is oh-so mature and oh-so strong.” his finger lifted her chin up, a soft smile on his lips. “because people who love you do not mind how mature, or strong, or stupid, or careless, or responsible, or up-tight you are. because you, [y/n], are what you are.”

once he was finished, he noticed that [y/n]’s tears were dried, a smile on her face. a look in her eyes had him floored… oh, she was so beautiful, wasn’t she?

luckily for fali, she seemed to think the same of him, raising her arm, grabbing the back of his head, and bringing his smiling lips against her’s.

the sully family knew and loved [y/n]. of course they did! she was their’s, afterall. but, they also knew that she was never this easy-going or even this happy.

both jake and neytiri knew they’d seared little moments of trauma into the brain of their eldest daughter, and they hated knowing that, but parenting is never easy. especially when she was expected to become the tsahik way back when.

but, ever since a few weeks ago, ever since she finally overcame her own issues regarding leaving the omaticaya, ever since she finally found someone that she loved as much as she loved her family ( and he seemed to love her even more ), she was a new person. a better person. a person who actually seemed to enjoy life.

neteyam and lo’ak were the first to become skeptical. ever since her successful free-dive, she’d been so.. giddy. it was not their big sister.

kiri started to catch on when she noticed [y/n] disappearing four hours at a time, and when she came back, she was ten times happier.

neytiri and jake were so wrapped up in the fact that their eldest was finally living a happy life, they didn’t once question, “hm, why could that be?”

it was only when [y/n] returned home a little late one night after the rest of the family, minus tuk since she was still quite young, had a busy day full of duties. she blamed it on finishing an errand with her new best friend, fali, but neytiri scanned her daughter’s body for any sign of injury. neytiri was just that type of mama bear!

“[y/n],” she began, eyes narrowed at her neck. “did you get bitten today? are the bugs bad on that side of the island?”

[y/n]’s face flushed almost immediately. she swallowed, grabbing her hair to cover her neck. “yeah—” she attempted, before tuk interrupted. [y/n] immediately cursed herself, remembering the stupid excuse that fali and her’d made up to cover-up their “hang-out” when tuk had walked in unexpectedly.

“uh, no, mom,” the youngest said matter-of-factly. “she was playing shark with fali. obviously.”

immediately, the sully family burst into confusion.

“[y/n]!” neytiri scolded, although her eldest daughter didn’t miss the amused smile that played on her lips.

kiri burst into laughter. “that’s why you’ve been so happy? because a guy? who even are you?” she teased.

lo’ak was absolutely losing his mind, face flushed from the laughter he was overcome by at the reality of it all. his big sister, little-miss-uptight, getting her first kiss before him and neteyam? unbelievable!

neteyam was absolutely shocked, face frozen in disbelief. “you? fali?”

jake, of course, was on immediate protective dad mode. “fali? the son of vi’ieo and fpai?” he questioned, eyes squinted at [y/n].

all [y/n] could do was sit there, a hand covering her mouth. of all people, tuk had to expose her. it’s always the ones you least expect.

but, despite the surprise of it all, the sully family was extremely happy. [y/n], the one who entered the metkayina by trying to one-up the tsahik and also deal with her own absolute soul-crushing homesickness, was making a life here in awa’atlu. and they couldn’t be more proud.

someone was suckered into a part ii

[sundrop-writes]

The Perfect Brat

Dom!Elle Greenaway x Dom!Fem!Reader x Sub!Spencer Reid

Summary:

Spencer acts up. You and Elle put him in his place. It’s an unconventional relationship, but it works so well.

Dom!Elle Greenaway x Dom!Fem!Reader x Sub!Spencer Reid. Co-Workers with Benefits. Smut/PWP. 

Word Count: 2,900

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link

THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, and to make my masterlist complete when I post new fics for this fandom.

Detailed warnings and author’s notes below the cut.

Warnings: this is primarily a smut fic; reader uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina; this could be read with or without considering the major canon events; dom/sub dynamics - Dom!Elle, Dom!Reader, Sub!Spencer (he is definitely more of a brat in this and I had so much fun writing it); implications of an ongoing poly relationship between the three of them; punishment and reward (Spencer is punished for being mouthy/talking back); size difference kink/reverse size kink (the reader loves how skinny and easy to toss around Spencer is); Spencer is spanked, Spencer is gagged with his own tie (the tie is also used like a leash on him); general rough play; Spencer calls the reader ‘Miss’; undertones of humiliation kink, mentions of subspace, mentions of pain kink, Spencer is called a whore, a slut a stupid brat;degradation kink (towards Spencer); mentions of paddling; mentions of jealousy; bondage - Spencer has his hands tied behind his back; Spencer wears a cockring; orgasm restriction (toward Spencer); Spencer is forced to watch while Elle fucks the reader with a strap-on (the reader is a bottom between Elle and the reader, but she still is 100% a dom in this); as mentioned - strap-on sex (Elle fucks the reader with a strap-on); crying kink (Spencer is pretty when he cries); mentions of pegging (from Elle toward Spencer); hair pulling (reader receiving); Elle is called 'Mistress’; the reader and Elle could both be considered mean in this. I hope that’s everything and I haven’t missed anything important.

A/N: the inspiration behind this is actually so funny. I was working on the second part of Lessons For A Genius and I literally thought to myself 'Spencer is too nice in this. he’s too well behaved’ - and then I started thinking about a fic where Spencer is a bratty sub and gets punished, and then in that scenario, Elle suddenly appeared in my head (I guess because Elle has such dom energy and she’s always bossing Spencer around in the show, this is just too real, they have so much chemistry) - and next thing I know I was opening another tab to write this because I couldn’t help myself. So I hope you guys enjoy it!! I would love to write more fics where Spencer is a bratty sub in the future. I just love writing sub!Spencer in general. (some people have asked me to write dom!Spencer and I am warming up to it very, very slowly.) anyway, please enjoy!

...

You were in the room for less than thirty seconds when Spencer’s pants were down. 

Usually, something like this occurred out of pure lust or need. Spencer was a very needy boy. It was rare that you felt this much annoyance building up inside of you. It was rare that you tore off his clothes out of anger. 

But he had mouthed off to you in front of the local cops, whining that you ‘weren’t his mother’ when you asked him how many cups of coffee he’d had that day and advised him to drink some water. It had been a sassy comeback that had several of the men in the room laughing, and at the time, Spencer had been grinning into that ill-advised seventh cup of coffee, thinking that you couldn’t see him. 

It was something that got a warm rage simmering inside of you. 

Generally, he had been the biggest kind of brat all day. He had been mouthing off, even going so far as to talk back to Hotch when given orders. And you weren’t taking too kindly to it. 

He had to know who was in charge. He had to know that you wouldn’t stand for him being a mouthy brat. 

The door to the hotel room had barely closed behind you before you had his belt undone, the heft of the leather causing the fabric of his slacks to drop to his ankles. This left him entirely exposed from the waist down, feeling a rush of vulnerability, knowing he was in trouble. His stomach clenched in anticipation. You weren’t entirely surprised to find that he wasn’t wearing underwear. He had been acting out all day because he was feeling needy, apparently. 

Before he could speak, only uttering out a few half hearted protests, you shoved him hard. He was so skinny, so easy to push around, it was almost laughable. You pushed him until you had him exactly where you wanted him - bent over the dresser in the middle of the room. It was a chest of drawers with an attached vanity mirror, forcing him to bend over it and brace his hands on the surface so he could look at himself in the mirror. 

So he could stare himself down and face all of his beautiful shame as you tore him apart. 

“Look, Miss, please-” He stuttered out. 

Clearly he was still trying to come back from this, still trying to grovel, trying to apologize. 

But it was too late for that. You had decided that during the car ride back. 

“Shut up.” You told him gruffly. 

You reached around his body to his front and grabbed his tie, slipping it slightly loose before you brought it partway up his head. He was confused by this, until you slipped the loop into his mouth, effectively gagging him. You then spun it so the length of the tie was at the back of his head. You tightened it harshly then, causing him to moan as the fabric scuffed sorely against the sides of his mouth. 

But that wasn’t all. 

You yanked back on the length of the tie as though it were a leash, pulling his tall body into a tense arch, forcing him to be exactly where you wanted him to be. He moaned deeply as a wave of pleasurable pain shot through his body, his back cracking slightly as you forced him into such an uncomfortable position. Your other hand was on his lower back, keeping his hips pinned against the edge of the dresser as you forced his neck back as far as it would go. 

His muscles quivered and tears easily came to his eyes. His cock throbbed harshly with all of it. He always needed to be put in his place. He needed his head to be emptied as the control was taken away from him - as he was owned wholly, his body and mind no longer his own. 

When you were sure that he would stay like this, the subspace setting in and making him slightly more compliant, you moved the hand on his lower back. This forced him to hold the position on his own, his legs becoming shaky - but he didn’t move to make himself more comfortable, which did cause you to grin. 

Then, you hauled your hand back, delivering a harsh spank across his bare ass cheek. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You bit out harshly. “I know I did not train you to be such a fucking brat.” 

You delivered another spank, his soft skin already turning red from your hits. Your palm was stinging slightly, but you didn’t care. It gave you a certain thrill, and it was worth teaching him a lesson if his ass was sore tomorrow and he remembered this. Usually not being able to sit right did help him remember to behave. 

All Spencer could do was moan in response, being very effectively gagged by his own tie. His cock was angry and hard, trapped between his pelvis and the edge of the dresser as you punished him. 

“You’re just a needy little whore, aren’t you?” 

You barked, pulling his neck back even harder. This caused him to whine out in pain, such a beautiful sound that had you dizzy with pleasure as your ego swelled. You pulled him closer to you and placed your lips close to his ear, hissing the next words near his cheek with malice. 

“What’s wrong? The needy slut doesn’t get enough attention?” 

“Come on, Y/N, take it easy on him,” Elle chuckled from the corner, taking a sip of her drink. 

She had ridden with Morgan, so she had made it to the room an easy five minutes before you and Reid had. And thus far, she had been heavily enjoying the show that the two of you were putting on. But she did think you were being a bit too rough considering that Reid was a bit lippy on a good day. 

“Oh, I need to take it easy?” You chuckled sarcastically, looking over your shoulder at her. 

You tossed your hold on the tie, letting Spencer’s body relax forward slightly while you assessed Elle. He let out a whimper of relief, but didn’t make any further noise to draw attention to himself - not wanting the two of you to gang up on him and make his punishment even worse. (The two of you were devious minds, and when you worked together, it was a beautiful kind of destruction.) 

Sitting there, Elle was smug as ever, staring you and Spencer down with a clear heat in her eyes. 

“Last time you paddled him, he couldn’t walk for a week.” You added on, bringing up the memory to try and prove your point. 

“He was flirting with that waitress, he deserved it.” Elle said, speaking as though it was the obvious thing in the world. 

Generally speaking, you weren’t even sure if Spencer knew how to flirt. You thought that for the most part he just didn’t know when other people were flirting with him and didn’t know when to deflect it to stop it from pissing you and Elle off. But you had enjoyed it too much to argue with Elle about it - his bright red ass and awkward gait for the week following that paddling had just been too good. 

You used the tie-leash and a tight hold on one of his hips to spin Spencer around, tossing him onto one of the double beds in the room. He landed roughly on his stomach with a light bounce. He let out a jagged moan as his exposed cock scraped against the cheap hotel bedspread. But - true to form, trying to prove that he was a good boy, he did nothing more than lay there, staying perfectly still where you had put him. 

Elle grinned at him before she looked back to you. 

“So, what do you think we should do with him?” You asked, putting a hand on Spencer’s shoulder to flip him over onto his back, presenting him to her like a filthy prize. 

Spencer whimpered quietly and blinked up at you and Elle with big, wet eyes, clearly thinking that the puppy dog look could get him some sympathy. But there was no chance of mercy. He had already made his bed, and he was going to get fucked in it.

“I have a few ideas.” Elle chuckled. 

… 

That was how Spencer ended up in his current position. 

He was sitting in the chair that Elle had previously been sitting in, stripped completely naked. A light sheen of sweat had formed over his skin, causing his hair to stick to his forehead in that beautifully desperate way. His hands were tied behind his back with his own belt, and a cockring was secured around the base of his needy, throbbing cock. 

There was no possible way for him to get relief. Even if he became so desperate as to hump the furniture, all that he would get was a fruitless, horrible dry orgasm. The cockring so tight around him definitely assured that. And with his hands tied behind his back, he couldn’t take it off. Especially not with the way the two of you were keeping a watchful eye on him. 

You and Elle certainly weren’t going to let him get away with anything. 

He certainly wasn’t going to get out of your line of sight. That was the whole point. 

The bulk of his punishment was to watch. 

To watch you and Elle and not be allowed to touch his needy, throbbing cock. To have a feast of sights before him, but be stuck, not allowed to cum. Not even allowed to feel the slightest bit of relief against his pathetic dick until you or Elle decided that he’d had enough. 

“Please.” Spencer begged hopelessly. 

His hips arched up into the air slightly, humping into nothing, fruitlessly seeking contact. His cock dribbled out precum, almost as if the pretty pink cockhead was weeping out in protest, trying to show his deep, unsatisfied need. 

“Please!” He bawled. “I’ll be a good boy! I promise!” 

His voice was so beautifully wrecked. It sent a wave of pleasurable tingles right through you. 

“Did you hear that?” Elle chuckled behind you. “He promises.” She cooed these words mockingly. 

Both of you knew that it wasn’t a promise he could keep for too long. 

Elle huffed out a devilish laugh as she raked the sharpness of her nails across your back. She sounded just as amused as you were watching Spencer’s pathetic attempts to get back on both your good sides. 

“I fucking doubt it.” You grunted back breathlessly. 

“If he wasn’t so pathetic, I might take pity on him.” Elle said, her voice taking on that mean edge that she knew Spencer loved. 

He moaned at the words, his hips flexing up once again. Unlike when he played poker, during sex, he always gave away all his cards, always showed what pleased him most and what his weakest spots were. It was one of the reasons you loved taking him apart so much. One of the reasons you loved owning him. 

“If you were a ‘good boy’, you’d shut up and watch me fuck your precious Miss without complaining,” Elle said, continuing to mock him, fucking her hips harder into you to drive home her point. 

She had you in the middle of the bed, perfectly on display for Spencer - on your hands and knees, completely stripped naked. The two of you were a perfect visual tease for him - with Elle in her bright red lacy bra, a commanding presence behind you with her thick seven inch strap-on buried in your wet, wanting pussy. You were absolutely enjoying yourself as she fucked in and out of you with an intense roughness. 

Most of the time, the two of you teamed up as a wicked force against Spencer - and combined, you were a deadly sinful team. But when the two of you took the time to enjoy pleasuring each other, it was a rough, chaotic slice of heaven. Like lighting clashing against itself in the best way. 

When you did let her fuck you, you weren’t whiny or submissive to her wills. You took it well, never begged for it. And she understood you and what you needed - the feeling of a thick cock splitting you open, that rough touch that Spencer never gave you because he was so subservient to your will. You loved the fact that she didn’t treat you like a glass doll. 

“Please!” Spencer tried again, going directly against Elle’s order to sit there and shut up. 

You weren’t sure if it was him playing up again or if he actually thought he could talk his way out of this somehow. 

“Please, let me touch you! Let me help you cum! Let me service you, Miss! I’ll be so good!” Spencer begged, his words dissolving into sobs as the desperation heightening within him. 

“What? You think you’re allowed to touch this pussy? You think you should be allowed?” Elle growled, fucking into you so hard that it caused a wet smacking to resonate through the room - something that made Spencer want you even more. 

You laughed in response to Spencer’s whiny antics, and the incredible fake cock plunging into you from behind - a sound that dissolved into a loud moan when Elle reached around and rubbed your clit, clearly wanting even more from you. 

Elle hammered her hips against you like she hated you, fucked into your pussy with a brutal passion. She was partially trying to show Spencer what he was missing out on, a deadly ache growing in his gut when he thought about the emptiness he felt without her perfect fake cock. Because he did spend a fair amount of time fucked out and drooling on her strap when she wanted to fuck him with it - from either end. 

And she was partially trying to get you to be messier, wetter, louder, putting on more of a show for him. The more beautiful and pornographic you were, the more effective his punishment was (not that it was hard for you to become a walking sex dream, as gorgeous as you naturally were). 

Elle loved to fuck you like this - she loved having your tight pussy hugging the silicone of her cock. You were a challenge. You didn’t simply beg for her cock, your body didn’t just mold and bend to her wills because she touched you with strong hands. You always fucked your hips back into her twice as hard, and you laughed and snarled back if she called you a dirty bitch. 

It was part of the reason that the two of you so perfectly destroyed someone as needy and submissive as Spencer. Spencer, the type of person who got whiny and started acting up if he didn’t get enough attention from either of you in the run of a day. 

“I’ll be good!” Spencer whined. “Please! Please, just touch me! I promise I won’t do it again!” 

His eyes had become as wet as his cock, the tip glistening with precum as tears dripped from the corners of his eyes, his entire being reeking of desperation and uncontained lust. 

“Do you even know what you did this time, you stupid brat?” Elle prodded, her voice dark and lacking any sweetness as she spat the words across the room at him. 

Spencer let out a wounded sound that was barely recognizable - perhaps he was trying to compose himself to speak, perhaps he was truly clueless. 

He could be so mouthy sometimes, but most of the time, he didn’t even recognize his sass as a problem. 

“What makes you think you’re worthy to touch her? What makes you think that you get to touch her after being such a dumb brat all day?” Elle teased him. 

She emphasized her words by yanking back on your hair, delivering a pleasurable amount of pain that made you moan out as she continued to harshly thrust her hips into your wet cunt. 

“What makes you think that a brat like you gets to touch these perfect tits?” Elle mocked him, leaning over you to grope roughly at your swaying breasts. Of course, just to show him what he couldn’t have and heavily enjoying your body in the process. 

You chuckled at this, enjoying the way Spencer’s features twisted up in displeasure. Clearly he was whiny, wanting so badly to touch you - but he hadn’t earned it. Not tonight. 

He let out a few more tears before he spoke again. 

“I’m sorry.” He sniffled quietly. “I’m a bad boy. I’ve been bad.” 

“Why?” You heaved out, breathless from Elle’s efforts. “Why are you bad?” 

“Good boys don’t talk back.” Spencer finally admitted, his voice weak with defeat. 

“Look, the genius finally figured it out.” Elle commented, beautiful condescension dripping through her voice. 

“Good!” You huffed, fucking your hips harshly back into Elle’s cock while you locked eyes with Spencer’s wet, glassy ones. “Now keep your whiny fuckin’ mouth shut while Mistress fucks me, and maybe - fuck - and maybe I won’t keep that cockring on you all day tomorrow.” 

Spencer whined harshly at this, but didn’t protest. Elle grinned, planting a kiss on the back of your neck before she dug her nails into your hips and fucked you faster.

...

A/N: This is a standalone oneshot, and there will not be a sequel or a continuation of it. If you enjoyed this, please comment about the body of work that has been written. If you want to see more Spencer fics that I have written, definitely check out my Criminal Minds Masterlist, or check out my other Masterlists to see if anything catches your eye.

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Helloooo! Its me again hehehehe! I just got some one question by the way, about thoma... Is he on the side of reader? Plus itto, nilou, yunjin and xinyan, chongyun, xinyan and xiangling. Sorry if i asked too much characters about on their sides, it just brought me so much curiosity. But by the way saw the jouno fic you did it really brought me chills! Always love your work that you made❤️

Hello!

I am glad, that you enjoyed Jouno's fic. I am planning the next one. Still not sure, who will be the main character.

Either Fitzgerald (Ningguang and Pantalone), or Dazai and Fyodor, or Verlaine (Furina). Or someone else.

To your question.

______

Liyue

_______

Xiangling

****

She and Gouba are on Reader's side. Xiangling it's that kind of person, who will try to hurt innocent people.

She and Gouba found Reader after they were trying to leave Liyue on a boat and were attacked by Zhongli. Reader managed to escape and hide in an abandoned hilichurls' camp. Exhausted, Reader fall asleep, only to woke up to a smell of cooking, and Gouba, pocking their cheeks.

Xiangling gave Reader food and find the way to get Reader to a safer place.

******

Xinyan

******

She is on Reader's side. She doesn't like, that everyone is talking about Reader like they are some kind of monster. Most of the gossipers have never seen Reader before.

Xinyan wasn't far away from hilichurls' camp, Reader were hiding. She saw, how Xiangling helped you. She approached you three and offered her help.

It was her idea to hide Reader with Doctor Baizhu.

******

Chongyun

******

He is on Reader's side.

When he met Fake Creator, he was horrified. He felt the 'Tainted powers'. Sinful and dirty.

So, Chongyun didn't believe a word Fake Creator said. He stays silent. His family doesn't feel the tainted powers as clear as he.

Chongyun's yang energy also made Fake Creator feel pain, so, they try not to go near him.

Chongyun felt the echoes of 'pure powers' from Reader. That make him believe Reader. Chongyun would stay near Reader, to mask their powers' presence with his yang energy.

******

Xingqiu

******

Xingqiu is on Reader's power, but he can't do much.

His family will be in danger, if someone knew about him helping Reader.

Yet, he was the one, who organized Reader's trip to escape to Inazuma. With some outside help.

******

Yunjin

******

She is on Reader's side. But, she also can't do much.

She is a public figure, so, it's hard for her to help Reader without public finding out.

But, Yunjin helped Reader leave Liyue.

She preformed in a port, destructing others, letting Xingqiu get Reader on the ship to Inazuma.

_____

Inazuma

_____

Thoma

*****

Thoma is on Reader's side. Technically.

He believes, that Fake Creator are Real Creator. But, he can't stand the thought of hunting a one single person. He can't do much, Kamisato siblings are on Fake Creator's side, and Thoma don't want to put himself or Kamisato siblings in danger. Still, he gave Reader food and helped them reach Chinju Forest, where Reader met Inazuma Saika, Matsuzaka and Iwao. They helped Reader get help from Yoimiya.

****

Itto

****

Itto and his gang are on Reader's side.

Itto was horrified, when Fake Creator ordered everyone to hunt Reader. He is up to the challenge. But, the thought of hurting a human made him sick. He faced enough prejudice from humans. He won't act as bloodthirsty oni everyone except him to be.

Itto and his gang helped Reader escape from Narukami Island and get to Watatsumi.

_______

Sumeru

______

Nilou

*****

Nilou is on Reader's side.

But, she on a more tight spot, than Yunjin.

Nahida, before she and Aranaras were captured, managed to tell Nilou the truth about Fake Creator.

But, Nahida's imprisonment and her helping Reader means, that Sumeru will go over the top to prove, that they aren't sinners and obey Fake Creator.

Nilou and Zubayr Theatre took a big risk and managed to get Reader to Port Ormos, where Alhaitham and Kaveh took it upon themselves to get you to Fontaine.

____

Tag list: @withered-blossoms , @myluckymoon @cocodrilofeliz @c4xcocoa @vvyeislazzy @whisperingwinters

[writeforfandoms]

Puppy Love 1

Find my CoD Masterlist

Gaz decides to get a puppy, and drags Price along for the ride. Plus, the breeder is cute. And single.

Warnings: Swearing, puppy cuteness overload, soft Gaz, soft Price. 

All the smooches to my beloved @sprout-fics​ for not only putting up with my insanity but actively encouraging it. You’re the best. 💖

Word count: 1.8k

Eventual John Price x f!reader

Gaz whistled to himself as he headed to Price’s office. He was dragging his captain out for a few hours if it was the last thing he did. (Not that he expected too much resistance, not once Price found out where they were going.) 

“Captain,” he greeted as he stepped into the office. The best descriptor for the office was controlled chaos. Paperwork covered every available flat surface, an empty mug balanced precariously on the corner of the desk.

“What is it, Gaz?” Price didn’t even bother to look up from a form he was filling out. 

“Field trip time.” Gaz tossed the keys in his hand for emphasis, smirking.

That did get Price to look up with a frown. “Where?” His gaze darted down to his calendar, and Gaz knew he had nothing there. Hook…

“Remember a couple weeks ago, told you I sent in the deposit for a puppy?” It had been a big move, one the two (and the team) had discussed at length. They’d all supported his decision in the end, especially after being faced with the sheer volume of research he’d done. 

“Yes?” Price was still frowning, but less sternly now. Line… 

“Pups are two weeks old now.” Gaz tossed the keys again. “Breeder’s been sending pictures, they’re right cute.” Another toss of the keys. “She also invited me out to see them.”

“Did she now?” Price straightened, fingers tapping at his desk before he set his pen down. 

And sinker. Gaz hid his smirk. “You should come with, Cap. It’s a litter of seven.” 

Price eyed him for a few long moments before he sighed and gave in. As expected. “How far out?” he asked gruffly, already patting his pockets to make sure he had everything he’d need for a little venture. 

“Not too far,” Gaz said, grinning openly now that he was getting his way. “About an hour.” 

Price grunted. “Let’s go, then.” His gruff demeanor didn’t fool Gaz. He knew the Captain wanted to go see the puppies. 

Gaz hopped into the driver’s seat, since he actually knew where he was going. But he did let Price control the music. Anticipation had his fingers drumming on the wheel, and he might’ve pushed the speed limit. Just a little. 

But he was still a better driver than Soap. 

–

You hummed to yourself as you did a few dishes in between visits. You were still expecting one more person to show up today, but you figured you had a little time before his arrival. Your two girls were out back, and Lola (the momma) was with her pups in the dining room. 

In other words, everything was good. 

The knock on the door startled you, and you could hear Sasha start barking out back, as she did every time someone knocked on the door. You dried your hands quickly and walked over to the door, opening it. 

Two men stood on your doorstep. The younger-looking one was already grinning, an air of contained energy around him. He was quite handsome, which you noted almost absently. But the other… The other man was too damn attractive. You could tell he was the older of the two, bits of silver in his hair and mutton chops. He was standing back a step, letting the younger man take the lead.

“Kyle?” you guessed with a smile, holding out your hand to the younger man.

“Yes ma’am.” He shook your hand, firm and polite. “This is my friend, John.”

“Nice to meet you both.” You held out your hand to John with the same smile. “Please, come on in. The puppies are mostly asleep, but they’re only two weeks old.”

Both men stepped into the house past you, and you almost closed the door.

Except that a black blur zoomed in the front door and barreled into John.

“Sasha!” you gasped in a mixture of horror and mortification, immediately grabbing the dog and yanking her backwards. “I am so sorry, she’s never done that before!”

“No harm done,” John was quick to assure you, looking down at the dog. He blinked. “That’s, er. Not a Boxer.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “No, she’s a Labrador Retriever. She was a gift, one I regret every day.” You circled one hand around her muzzle gently, guiding her to look up at you. “Did you jump the back fence?” 

Her ears went down and her eyes got impossibly bigger, even as she tried to tug out of your grip.

“Bad girl. You know better.” You sighed, keeping a firm hold on her. “Again, I am so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” John held out one hand to Sasha, and she immediately started sniffing him. Rather to your surprise, she started licking his fingers. “She’s a sweet thing, isn’t she?”

“Well, yes, but she’s normally a bit wary of strangers.” You watched the interaction, a little incredulous, as Sasha tried to cozy up to the big man. “Let me just put her in the other room. She’s still a bit too rambunctious for the puppies, and Lola doesn’t like her in with them.”

Both men waited patiently as you half-dragged Sasha to your office, closing her in. She banged on the door a couple times with a soft woof. 

“Right. Puppies.” Flustered now, you straightened and tugged your shirt straight. “Right this way.”

You walked ahead of them, blocking their view until just the right moment. Then you turned and stepped aside, watching as both men absolutely melted. 

Two week old Boxer puppies didn’t do a lot besides yelp for momma, drink, crawl around, and leave waste… But they were also really damn cute. 

“How many of each?” Kyle asked, taking a cautious step closer.

“Come on in,” you invited, stepping the rest of the way into the room and rubbing Lola’s ears. She heaved the biggest sigh and laid her head down on top of your foot. “Lola doesn’t mind.”

Kyle was quick to find a place to sit, very gently touching each puppy, awe in his eyes. John stayed back a bit, but he was no less enamored. 

“This time I’ve got four girls and three boys.” You smiled down at the puppies. “I believe you mentioned you want a boy?”

“Think so, yeah.” His big hands were delicate as he stroked the nearest puppy ever so gently. 

“Well, you’ve got first pick.” You smiled at his startled look. “You got your deposit in before anyone else. So you get your pick of the litter.” 

His smile was nearly blinding. 

“Take your time,” you assured him, carefully moving your foot from under Lola’s head and ignoring her baleful look. “I’ll just be in the kitchen, just through there.” You stepped out of the room, sort of. The only thing separating the dining room from the kitchen was a counter, so you could still see Kyle, Lola, and the puppies. 

John joined you, standing next to you, arms crossed over his chest. His very broad chest, which you just noticed. You had to fight not to look. 

"How long have you been doing this?" He nodded to the puppies. 

"This is my third litter." You smiled. "Honestly, I kind of tripped into this by accident, but I don't regret it. They're a wonderful breed." You eyed him for a moment before your smile turned mischievous. "Usually I warn people that they can be pretty high-energy but I have a feeling you won't have a problem keeping up." 

He laughed, low and rumbling and oh so nice. "Gaz is high-energy," he agreed. "Won't be a problem. Might keep him out of trouble." 

"Gaz?" You blinked. 

"Kyle." John waved a hand. "It's a nickname." 

You didn't push, didn't ask, just nodded. "Thinking of getting one yourself?" You couldn't help but tease, just a little. 

"Nah. Not my speed." John shrugged, glancing back behind the two of you as Sasha whined. "If anything, I'd go for one like her." 

"You want her?" You offered, mostly joking. "She comes house broken."

He laughed again, and it was even more wonderful the second time. "Thanks but no thanks." He paused for a moment. "How did you end up with a lab?"

You chuckled. "It's a long story. Some things happened with her first family. She was a very mouthy puppy, and they couldn't get past that. So I offered to take her." You smiled a little. "She's a good girl, and she's very people-oriented. She's just got no manners." 

John nodded slowly. "Good of you to keep her," he murmured. 

"Wouldn't have it any other way." Your smile was a little sad. You had no family, no significant other, and few friends. You had the dogs instead. "You're allowed to go play with them too, if you want." 

"I'm good here." His smile was almost teasing when he looked at you, and you chuckled. 

"Well, if you have any questions…" You trailed off meaningfully. 

"I know Gaz already interrogated you." His lips twitched, like that was an inside joke. (And not far from the truth - Kyle had asked a bunch of questions the first time he'd called, like he had a list.) "Is this your only job?"

That was certainly a polite way to ask. You'd had much less polite inquiries. "I work from home. I'm a purchasing coordinator. This is just for fun and love of the breed." 

John nodded. "I see. Convenient." 

"Until I have seven puppies howling at something at 3am in a month or so," you agreed, laughing. "Then I'll swear I'm never doing this again." 

That delightful laugh rumbled between you. Somehow, the two of you had edged closer together, and you could just feel the warmth radiating from him. There was something about him that put you at ease.

Which was unusual. Sasha wasn't the only one wary of strange men. 

Kyle reappeared a good ten minutes later with the sappy grin of one who has absolutely fallen in love. "Sure they're all spoken for?" He asked, glancing back at the puppies one more time. 

You laughed quietly. "Six of them are," you agreed cheerfully. 

Kyle looked back at the puppies, thoughtful, and John snorted. 

"No. You're getting one." 

The chiding tone was such a dad tone that you snorted and clapped a hand over your mouth. 

"Sorry," you squeaked, trying very hard not to laugh. "Ahem. Anyway. Kyle, you're welcome anytime, just let me know so I can make sure I'm home." You smiled at John. "You're welcome, too." 

"Thank you." 

You walked the two to the door, watching as they got into an SUV. You waved them off, waiting until they were on their way before you closed the door. 

"What am I going to do with you," you sighed at Sasha. She just wagged her tail at you.

[dawnoftime22]

a constant sickness.

| N.R

Warnings: mental breakdown at the end, overthinking, being sensitive while horribly sick, mention of throwing up, headaches, r loves orcas(?)

Summary: While Nat was away at a SHIELD meeting, you had gotten sick once again. Having been sick for the millionth time in the past few months, you were tired.

Word Count: 6.4k

Category: Fluff, maybe a little hurt/comfort later on

A/N: I guess you could say this is a vent fic? I've been sick a lot, and it isn't fun, so I ended up making this. please drink water everyone and take care of yourself. love you all <3

| Started on 07/11/2023, 6:11 PM |

| Finished on 19/11/2023 8:07 AM |

Masterlist | N.R Masterlist

“darling, you have been so strong. so please,

lay down and let yourself rest for a while.”

|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

The morning birds sang a beautiful song, and the gray sky filled up the room with light. It came along with the rain, the glass windows fogged up from the cold.

The place beside you was empty as you were curled up asleep, all cozy, but missing the touch of a certain redhead.

Soon enough, your eyes slowly open, blinking away your sleep for a few minutes. But you instantly notice the horrid, miserable feeling of a sore throat.

Of course. You had gotten sick again. And the exact day Nat has a meeting. Why couldn't you get sick yesterday? You thought. Or tomorrow, in fact, she's free almost all day for this week.

You shake your head to get your mind to stop before it goes crazy. It's far too early in the morning for this. You stretch, wanting to get your tense muscles loose once again, but doing so just made you feel more tired.

Having woken up alone, you sigh. If you hadn't felt so horrible, then your morning would've been great. But, well, there's nothing much you could do.

Your hands gently grab the soft orca plushie Nat had bought for you just sitting at the end of the bed. Seeing as she wasn't present at the moment, you hug it.

It was quite precious to you, really. Nat didn't know what to get you one anniversary day, and she had thought about how once, when an animal documentary was randomly on the tv, it had videos of orcas just swimming, and jumping. She was in the kitchen while you sat in the living room, laid down sideways as you watched with shining eyes on the screen, like a child.

The adorable sounds that sure, yes, was a terrifying sound for the other animals in the ocean, as they were killer whales, still made you love them nonetheless. Nat smiled at you when she set down the meal she just finished cooking on the table, and called you to eat.

The memory serves as a comfort of sort. You always loved how deep Nat thought about her gifts, and you're always grateful. It wasn't much, but to you, it was everything. Truly, you could never think of having a better girlfriend than her.

Not long after you continued staying comfortably in bed, cuddling up with the orca plushie, your nose began to clog up, making you unable to breathe properly.

The uncomfortable feeling had forced you to get up, and once you were, everything was back to normal. Almost. It's always so annoying having a stuffy nose. You begrudgingly and slowly get out of bed, careful to not make yourself dizzy by going too fast. The target of the tissue box was in your sights, and you somehow make it even with your low energy.

The tissue easily slides out of the box when you grab it, and you blow into it, clearing your nose a bit. After pulling away, you groan a little in disgust and the realization that you'll have to do this again after another few minutes.

You throw out the used tissue into a nearby trash can, and just when you thought of sitting in bed or slumping into the desk chair just to stare out the window to watch cars go by, your stomach feels too empty.

Welp. Your mouth forms a tired pout, but before your stomach could even make any noise at you for not moving to get some food, you grab a nearby jacket and put it on. The warmth it provided surrounded you with a feeling of comfort and safety. As it should, considering the jacket was on Nat's side of the bed. Honestly, you can't tell which one is Nat's or yours anymore with how much the two of you share with each other by now.

You start to make your way out of the bedroom, and into the living room, the curtains already being open since Nat had left when the sun came up, while you were still sleeping.

The house lacked her presence. With you taking a glance at the kitchen, you had hoped to see her red hair basking in the morning sunlight, yet nothing but the kitchen counters and cabinets looked back at you.

You blink away the tiredness and dizziness that started to cloud your vision, and you went over to the kitchen, arriving suddenly somehow. The first thing you grabbed was a cup of water, drinking it and wincing at it going down your aching throat. The feeling soon dissolves into an itch that made you cough once or twice. Well, at least you were more awake now.

Considering a lot of options were out of the view because of your throat, you settled for bread, seeing as it was the softest thing you could find at the moment. You almost shakingly set down the plate on the table, because of how weak your body started to be from the fever, but you grab your choice of spread to put on with a butter knife anyway. Even if being sick meant you were tired, you still needed something to eat, otherwise you'd just get sicker. It wasn't much of a choice, really.

Once you had your meal ready, you sat down at the dining table, taking a bite of your sandwich. Here goes the awful long, long chewing as you tried your best not to have your stomach throw up whatever thats left within it.

You grab your phone as you ate, turning it on and opening your messages app. You click on Nat's contact, your fingers drifting off to type in some words that your head can barely even make out to be a sentence from the little dizziness.

<- Nat <3 [◉¯]

hey Nat, I got sick again. do you think

you can come home quicker? :(

I miss you

Sent at 9:37 AM

hi, darling <3 you're sick again?

I'm sorry detka, the earliest I can

get back is at 4

I'll see if I can sneak off earlier, but

try to get comfortable and watch some

tv my love. have you eaten?

I'll get you some things before I get home too. message me if anything happens, okay? I miss you too, and I love you

Read at 9:38 AM

it's okay, you don't have to

rush if you can't

I'm eating some bread right now

so yeah, don't worry

I love you too <3 get home safe.

Read at 9:38 AM

She didn't have to rush. Right? No, of course not. Maybe a little. You just didn't want to worry her. If we're being completely honest, it's not really okay considering how sick you were and how you were all alone in the house.

Your face had a sad smile. Having checked the time, it's going to feel like forever until she was home. You're just going to have to distract yourself in the meanwhile, and hope this one doesn't make you feel like going through hell.

You turn off your phone and set it down on the table, finishing up the last of your piece of bread. Since there's not much else you could do in the kitchen anymore, you leave the plate and cup in the sink.

The fever wasn't horrible at the moment, but you could already expect what'll happen later in the day. You thought of the little work you still haven't finished yet though.

Throwing up your hands in exasperation to, no one in particular, you walk back to the bedroom, seeing the desk you usually sit at near the window. At least the skies weren't bright. And maybe the rain will even come back, if you're lucky enough.

There were papers already ready on it for you to check and go over, having been taken by you when you were at work before.

You sat down on yet another chair, and the window casts a light upon everything on the desk, also giving the old wood a glow.

At least you can swivel and spin around in your desk chair. You grab a pen laying around, but you didn't start until you played a playlist of slow peaceful songs from your phone.

Everything was going fine as time passed by, but you're starting to feel worse. The day might have gone to lunch or brunch time by now, but you weren't done yet. Probably due to the many times you've spaced out, or somehow more papers just kept spawning in out of nowhere. It always feels never ending until you actually finish it all.

To make matters worse, you even feel an incoming headache upon you. You're definitely not finishing up those remaining papers today, that's for sure.

You end up giving up and leaving them on the desk, walking back out to the living room and into the kitchen to take some pills, hopefully letting the headache pass.

Afterwards, your legs lead you away to grab the orca plushie, just to go back out and plop down on the couch, grabbing the tv remote to put on the first thing you thought of that would distract you from the awful sickness.

It's starting to hit you now. The jacket you wore started to feel a little too warm, causing you to take it off one arm and the other, letting it fall down on the couch.

You could feel the mucus in your nose go down to your throat without being able to stop it. Knowing it did that and even feeling it irked you. You start coughing, the sound obvious with sickness.

Thankfully it was a short cough, and your eyes continue to focus on the screen once more, the scenes playing relaxing you. Your tense muscles loosened a little at the coziness of the living room, even if your nose was being annoying, and your throat makes you cough. You wished Nat was here. So, so badly. But it was still only 12 PM. Even if you're functional, it doesn't mean you don't feel awful.

The noises coming from the tv was quiet. Enough so that you're able to feel dozy. And not in the headache, dizzy way this time fortunately. Your eyes go from being light, to feeling heavy. Your focus also started to include your breathing without meaning to.

Soon, you gave in, surrendering to the darkness that that lured you into sleep.

|—————————— ⴵ ——————————|

Nat arrives home with a bag full of items she had gotten for you. She takes off her shoes and puts the plastic bag on the kitchen island, careful not to make anything fall the wrong way. After she was done with that, she turns to the living room, hearing noises that she would only presume would be the tv, just faintly. She takes off her jacket as she goes, placing it on the couch when she was close enough.

That was when she saw you, all curled up on the couch with the plushie she got you. The sight made her adore you, but also make her feel sad. She would only ever see you like this when you were super sick and tired, or waiting on her to come home.

It's only happened a few times, but a few was enough to make her understand how your fevers feel. A lot of people would just go with their day and deal with it, but you weren't the type of person to be able to. It's not that you wouldn't, you just couldn't. It always had a high chance of taking you the worst.

What made things more concerning is that you're falling sick more often, it's leading to be not normal. Others would say it's the seasons, but with your experience, it really isn't. Nat just hopes your body only hates you at the moment, and you'll get a longer break sometime soon.

Her feet takes her to stand in front of you and kneel down, her hand going up to lay gently against your forehead. The warmness you radiated makes her frown.

Your breathing started to lessen its softness, and you start waking up, possibly either from her presence, the hand on your forehead, or your throat starting to feel dry. Probably all the above.

Your eyes flutter open, and there you see the redhead you love so much right in front of you. Her green eyes looked at you so softly as you registered the scene you awoke to.

"Hi, детка (baby). You feeling okay?" She asks softly, her fingers drifting away to gently pull your hair away from your face. Even when she spoke Russian, her voice was caring.

That was when you were so willing to break, just seeing her looking at you so softly made all your courage to stay strong from the sickness had faltered. But you tried keeping the tears in.

You shook your head fatiguely, your eyes still tired. She knew the answer, but she hoped the sleep brought you more relief. Instead you got the worser effects. It was a chance of either being worse or your throat magically being better.

"That's okay. I got you orange juice and soup, дорогой (darling)." the drink made your face brighten up a little, but the soup almost made you scrunch up your nose in an act of disgust.

"Well, you don't wanna throw up, do you?" Nat raises an eyebrow at you. Her voice was gentle, so it wasn't scolding and it wasn't a threat. Maybe a little bit of a threat, but you needed one considering you know you'll end up feeling nauseous if you don't eat. It's a miserable feeling, even if afterwards you'll be able to get whatever sickness it is out of your system, the process for it isn't great.

You purse your lips and shake your head, the memories of having to go through the nausea being horrible. She gives you a small smile, and moves to stand up.

Nat helps you slowly stand up with her, holding you up with her arms and letting you put a little of your weight on her as you walked. She didn't trust how dizzy you looked when you stood up. You wouldn't either, because the room looked like it was dancing just a little.

She sits you down on the dining table, going off to open the plastic bag and get out the contents within it. First and foremost, she opens the orange juice bottle and pours it in a cup for you, placing it in front of you on the table.

You try and take ahold of it as calmly as possible, but Nat smiles at the small excitement she sees at you being able to drink orange juice. The juice goes down your throat easily, basically almost clearing the germs in some way.

It somehow always helps, and you were relieved it did. Nat's gotten everything out the bag by now, and she's working away on cooking up a delicious chicken soup for you.

As you watched her move in the kitchen, humming a melody to herself every now and then, you slowly drank, trying your best not to finish all the orange juice before you eat. Thankfully you had breakfast down earlier, so there wasn't much air in your stomach or anything to get the nausea to come back.

The time was 2:45 PM. Nat really did sneak away from the SHIELD work somehow. She would do anything for you after all. Or, Fury and Maria had known and dismissed her. Yes, it may just be a fever, but it's been far too many times now to count, so you'd guess they were pretty concerned too. And there was only one redhead who could truly take care of you.

Nat sets down the bowl of soup gently on your side of the table, while on her side she places down a bowl of mac and cheese. One in particular, you know Yelena would love. Your thoughts were wandering with people, but you did just get a nap after all. You may not have felt better, but your mind did clear up a bit more.

"Can I have a bit?" You ask, your voice groggy from the sore throat, but it makes out the sentence. The cheesy, but not too cheesy mac and cheese stared at you like it would melt in your mouth. It was too tempting and seemed way too delicious to not have a taste.

"Sure. Only a little," She said, aware of the fact that the cheese would probably make you cough more.

Nat looks at you amused as you took a spoonful, knowing you wouldn't be able to resist a bite. She didn't really get it to tease you or anything though, she just almost kind of misses Yelena. And she hasn't eaten any mac and cheese in a while. Plus, the blonde had always made the best mac and cheese.

She's been away doing widow work combined with some other assassin work. Nat wasn't entirely sure, but the jokes she tends to make are definitely missed by you. Though, you love Nat's company, love and the comfort she provides by herself just as much.

When you finish the spoon of mac and cheese you had just eaten earlier, you start on your soup with a smile on your face, satisfied at the taste. Nat was relieved. Sure, she wasn't as good as Yelena. No one was, to be honest, but the way your lips are turned up means you approved.

Your throat ends up letting out a cough once more after you swallowed, making you clear your throat to try and get rid of it. When it didn't work, you drank your orange juice. And of course, like magic there was no more bacteria spluttering. Or well, you hope so in the minutes that go by.

"You know, Yelena got a dog." Natasha says, wanting something to distract you a little from your sickness. And she's been wanting to talk to you about it ever since she got a call from Yelena at work. You look up at her with surprise and excitement.

"What? Really? Can I meet it??" Your questions spilled out one after another, excitement filling up your entire body at the new information. She lets out a small chuckle at your happiness.

"Yeah, she's coming back in a week." She mixes around the cheese with the macaronis more, having finished a layer of the outside, she had gotten to the less cheesier parts.

"Does the dog have a name?" Yes, you were excited about the other widow coming back, but at the moment you were very much distracted on the dog part.

Nat's lips purse at the memory of Yelena telling her the name she gave it. "Fanny." She says, with no other comment. The name being taken from the time she was in hiding during the 'Civil War between Captain America and Iron Man', as people called it... Fanny Longbottom. God, did Mason really not have any other choice than that one? That was Nat's thoughts, anyway.

You, on the other hand, giggled a little, careful not to laugh too much, or you'd end up in a coughing fit. "I love it. It reminds me of you a bit."

"Don't even speak about it." Nat responds playfully. Her eyebrows furrows, while her lips turn up into a smile. She shakes her head. She should've expected Yelena would've done such a thing after telling her her undercover name.

You had to take a moment to gather yourself, almost completely laughing at the thought you just had. "At least she didn't choose 'Longbottom'."

She laughs, the sound like a melody to you. Something that can easily, oh, so easily make it so that the fever you have wasn't just complete hell. "Can you imagine?" Nat says.

"What if she did? If we ever had to take care of it while she was away, all you'd ever hear is 'Longbottom! Longbottoooom'." You act out a scene of you calling the dog, possibly while Yelena would come over or leave it to the two of you to take care of it.

"Which would be you adoring it. But yes, Fanny isn't bad." Nat raises her eyebrows on her first sentence, but agrees with you on the name choice.

"No, it would be both of us." You counter her, knowing there isn't only one animal lover in this household you're living in.

"Nope. I would be annoyed at Fanny getting all the attention." Her voice was soft at that point, somehow. Perhaps it accidentally tumbled out her mouth from her mind. Well, you were still focused on making her say she would practically spoil Fanny from how much she'll love the dog.

"Admit it. I know you adore Lucky at least, so! I'm not wrong here." The table goes quiet, the two of you finished with your food. But a thought clicks in your head at her last few words.

"Wait. Annoyed at Fanny getting all the attention? Do you mean you want my attention all on you instead?" It's quite obvious she would, considering you were the one she loves, and you love her, but you just like teasing her.

"...No. I just said I would be annoyed." She brushes it off, taking a sip of her own drink. Her face being completely and utterly normal. But you could clearly see the hint of lying from the way she sipped her drink while talking.

"Yes you did, and you had the attention part! Don't lie, Nat. I'm sick, but I can still have a great memory." You say, proud for having caught her. But the memory part is...partly true. She finished drinking and has the most adorable smile on her face.

"Okay, okay. You're obviously out of it. And now, we will go sleep." Nat gets up from her chair, shooting you a glance of 'we will never speak about it again or you are not getting cuddles' before picking up her empty bowl along with yours to go put them in the sink.

"Excuses, excuses!" You accuse her, a playful tone in your voice. But, you follow along with her, holding both yours and her empty cup.

You were about to help her do the dishes, but she protests to you about it. Even if you did puppy eyes or whatever, she would much rather have you getting some rest.

"Go lie in bed while I finish up here, yeah, любовь? (love)" She softly said. Her hands are on your waist, ready to stop you from turning back to face the sink.

"Okay." You quietly say, nodding your head a bit. She smiles at you before letting go of her hold on you, leaving you to turn and walk off to the bedroom.

Although you did spend most of your time on the couch just earlier, the cold started to take a toll on you and catch up with all thats left of your energy. Of course it was.

You tiredly and almost practically fell on the bed, the soft mattress welcoming your body. Just when you got comfortable, Nat comes walking in the room, holding up the orca plushie you forgot and left in the living room.

You looked up with realization, and reach out with your hands. Nat almost wanted to pull it away from you just to tease you back for the dining table incident, but that adorable face of yours made her relent. And she wouldn't wanna do such a thing when you're so sick anyway.

She lets you hold the soft plush while she got on her side, shuffling closer to you until she could cuddle you. You were expecting her to keep a small distance, considering you didn't really want to get her sick either, but when she pulled you closer, you end up putting the orca plushie just above your head on the pillow and putting your arms around her instead, craving her cuddles.

Her heartbeats gently thumps against her chest, echoing to your ears since you were so close to her. In the quietness of the room, only that, and the sound of both of your soft breathing could be heard. Only if you focused closely.

There was then, a tap against the roof. Nothing scary or creepy really, just a gentle tap. Then another, and it was a little thrumming that almost matched Natasha's heartbeat. Even she was a little confused, and her eyes were set on the ceiling. You know she would keep you safe all the time. But you thought the sound was familiar.

The tapping occurs more rapidly, and then it grows into a noise of which you can only identify as rainfall. It starts pouring outside, and the air starts getting chilly. But it was perfect.

Both you and Nat relaxes a little more at the sudden, but cozy background noise. You nuzzle against her neck in search for more of her warmth. She pulls the blanket up to cover more of your body, and lets her arms retreat back to the small of your back.

Soon enough the calmness of it all had your blinking go at a slow pace, now your eyelids falling down more to closing.

Surprisingly, your stuffy nose wasn't being annoying at the moment, but perhaps you had the cold temperature to thank for that. Your throat grew a little itchy though, so you looked away from Nat to not let the germs hit her, and let out a small cough to make it go away, hoping it doesn't get worse before you're asleep.

You turn back to the comfortable spot in the crook of her neck. Nat lays a gentle kiss on the side of your head, and that was when your eyes closed fully.

Seeing the state you were in when she got back home has her heart feeling a little heavy with concern, but she'll be beside you every second, no matter how long it takes for you to get better.

"Get better soon, мое маленькое солнышко (my little sunshine)." She whispers, slowly, and ever so softly. Only the rain responded back, but the feeling of your breathing against her was enough to let her fall asleep along with you.

|—————————— ⴵ ——————————|

It was 3:35 AM. The rain outside was still ongoing, but it was a calmer, less noticeable rainfall.

You were awoken with a coughing fit, lasting a minute or so. You try to hold it in after a short break, the trapped air wanting to break out of your throat. Fortunately, or, well, unfortunately, Nat was still asleep, somehow. You'd guessed the meeting yesterday took her energy out a lot.

Not wanting to wake her, you slowly untangle yourself from her embrace, and crawl out of bed, all the while taking a few deep breaths not to go into another coughing fit. But of course, by the time you quietly leave the room, one was bound to happen once more as you make your way to the kitchen.

You open a cupboard and grab a glass, careful to make sure your grip was strong enough. After pouring yourself a glass of water and taking a sip, you sigh. The moment of it becoming worse came sooner than you expected. But that just means being sick will pass by just as quick. Or, you desperately hope it will.

Meanwhile, in the bedroom, Nat started opening her eyes to cold sheets, and her embrace was empty of any sign of you. She awoke more as she blinked. To see no sight of you as she looked around made her get out of bed quicker than being late to work has ever made her.

When she goes out the bedroom, she sees you standing in the kitchen, your shoulders tense from coughing so much. But relief flowed through her body when you appeared in her vision.

Concern came next. She snuck her hands in her pockets at the coldness the living room had to offer. She was missing the warm blankets, but she was also missing you. And you were her top priority at the moment, not to even add the given situation that's happening right now.

The sound of your awful coughing echoed to the walls and back to her ears distantly. "You didn't wake me." Her voice huskily sounded out, and you just about heard it from the horrible hell your body was giving you. Thankfully, you weren't surprised and didn't go into fight or flight mode or anything.

She walks closer until you were only centimeters away from each other. "Sorry." you whisper to her, your voice raw from your throat being so sore. One row of coughs lead to another, and soon it's the endless miserable feeling while Nat rubbed your back.

You stare off at the marble counter for a bit after opening your eyes at the two second break, trying to recollect your breathing and not cough again by taking deep breaths, but it barely helps. Natasha reaches her arm over to the side counter just next to the both of you, and grabs the water filled glass you had earlier, holding it up for you.

You had your hands gripping the marble counter in front of you, your eyes drags itself down to see the glass cup. You let go of the edge and hold the cup instead, taking a quick sip before coughing again. You slowly drank your water until your lungs calmed down.

Nat's arms go down to go around your waist, pulling herself closer to the back of your body to place her face near your neck. You could feel her nose brushing against your skin just slightly, giving you a sense of comfort.

"You want me to make you some tea?" her voice softly whispers out into the darkness while you set your empty glass down. She knows medicine is the last thing you'd want at the moment, and knowing you, you would simply say it doesn't help. And it really didn't feel like it did with how many times you've gotten sick.

You gently nod, and her eyes watches your movement. Her hand slides down to hold one of yours, squeezing it, while her other hand goes up to open a cupboard. She moved beside you to grab a teabag and a mug, then when she had to move away to grab some water and pour it to heat up in a kettle, her hand had left yours lonely.

Since she's waiting on it to warm up now, she turns to face you, her back leaning against the counter. You go closer to her, finding her hand once more. You rested your head against her chest and her free hand holds your back, surrounding you with warmth.

The minutes go by with the two of you staying in that embrace, a peaceful quietness upon the room.

"You okay?" she asks softly, as if the whole world was about to fall apart if she spoke any louder, and to you, it almost felt like so. But that was until she held you in her arms.

You couldn't tell. There wasn't a name to the feeling. Exhaustion? Maybe. You didn't give her an answer, you only held her tighter.

She understands that words may not be the best choice for you right now, and so, she pulls back slightly, but keeps a fair distance enough to not make you pout at the loss of closeness. She takes in every feature on your face. Though you may be sick, you were still the most adorable human being to her, and since you were so quiet, she takes her chance to show her love instead.

The redhead has a small smile on her face, just before she leans in to lay a kiss on the tip of your nose. The action leaves you a little stunned, because you thought she was only admiring you, but it warmed your heart either way. And then, a kiss on your forehead. At this point, she wants to get sick.

But then, she turns back around to the counter, her back now facing you. The water had heated up now, so she pours it from the kettle to the mug.

She grabs the teabag she had placed nearby earlier, and dips it into the hot water, letting it sink and soak. As that's happening, she goes ahead and grabs a spoon of sugar or so then carefully adds it into the tea, stirring it and just ever so slightly pressing on the teabag with the spoon to get it out quicker.

Once she was done she slowly spins around, making sure the hot mug wasn't anywhere close to hitting you. She then steadily makes her way back to the bedroom, with you beside her. You were careful not to accidentally bump into her either. The two of you kept focus on keeping the dangerous burning tea in the mug.

When you arrive at the bedroom, Nat places it on the bedside table, letting out a breath she unknowingly kept in. Mission accomplished. Yes, she was a trained assassin, and yes, she's an avenger, but sleep can really get to you with losing focus and a chance of spilling a drink...especially when it's dark at night like this. Well, at least the bedroom has some dim lighting on. It's dim, but not dimmer than the soft kitchen lights.

You were sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Nat to sit beside you. When she does, she's holding the mug in her hands, blowing air to the tea to cool it down for you.

You could do it yourself, both you and the widow knew that, but considering she took the opportunity to do it for you first, you let her. Plus, the way her eyes are so focused on the ripples its causing in the liquid to make it drinkable is adorable.

You wait patiently until she slowly gives the mug over to you, keeping an eye on your fingers that you put around the handle while she holds parts of it that wasn't boiling, making sure it won't fall out of either of your hands.

You take a small sip at first, and when the temperature felt okay to you, you drink it slowly, taking breaks so your body would be able to cool down.

The hot air comes out in a breath from your mouth, The warmness of the tea going down your throat filling your body with relief and relaxation.

Once you've finished after a few more minutes, Nat had been reading a book, while at the same time keeping an eye on you. You place the mug on the bedside table, and took a glance back at Nat.

She looked so worried, so tired still because she had only gotten a small amount of rest. You started thinking on how she was taking care of you, and you wished this sickness would just stop.

The way she looks up from the pages filled with ink, just to show you a smile for you finishing the tea, it hit you just as much as the other times that you got really lucky.

What if you deserved the sickness? All this good couldn't have come without a cost...right? Wrong, darling. Nat puts the book down on her bedside table, opening her arms for you to sit within.

You still had work to be finished. The events that's happened in the past week, even the small ones couldn't leave your mind, while for others, it had been easily forgotten. You should be doing more, you thought.

But you were trying. The best you could. Nat could see that, and almost everyone else could see if they knew how to simply look into a human's eyes. You were just too soft for all of it.

She only wants you to get better. Everything else didn't matter. Even Fury, Maria, and Yelena is probably worrying about you right now.

It's all crashing down. You were in her arms, and she places a gentle kiss atop your head. Her fingers gently danced at your back, drawing meaningless patterns.

Your face seemed tired, and her heart ached at the thought of how much you're suffering. You were tired, that was for sure. It was sickness after sickness, almost every week or month. You just wanted a break.

It's a vicious cycle. Sure, you kept yourself feeling great with jokes and little happy moments, but it didn't mean the worse ones weren't gonna come bite you again at random times.

You move closer into the crook of her neck, your eyes glazed over, and you couldn't have noticed it unless the moonlight had hit your eyes. When Natasha feels tears going down her neck and down to seep into her shirt, she pulls you in closer.

"Oh, милая (sweetheart)." You tried. You tried really hard to keep it inside, but a broken sob leaves your mouth at her soft and caring tone. You've been going through so much, and she knows that, even if its small things, too.

It hurt. It really did. Your throat, the headache you get every now and then, and mentally, you weren't doing all that well either. But she holds you safely, as much as she could. And that's just all you need.

"It's okay. You'll be okay." she whispers softly. Your body shakes with the emotions you held from the past. Her hand trailed up your body just to slide it down to your lower back once more. Her other hand, has her thumb rubbing the skin just below your neck, the little movement assuring you that she was there, as she always has been, and will continue to be.

It went on for a while until you were able to calm down, only dissolving into small bur sharp intakes of breath going in your liver from all the sobbing. You went quieter with each deep breath you took, Nat along with you because she knew you could feel her breathing against you, so she does deep breaths to help you fall into the same pace as her.

She goes back to normal breathing after your little hiccup sounding noises were gone. Your eyes had closed, exhausted from everything, and the way her thumb was still going forth in an up and down motion near your neck helps into making you fall asleep.

Nat looks down on your sleeping figure, glad that you were able to get your emotions out fully, and still get your sleep in. You deserved the whole world, the galaxy, and still more than that.

She leans down, whispering a soft "I love you," just near your ear before turning off the lamp and going to sleep herself.

|—————————— ⴵ ——————————|

Bonus! - in the morning... :]

The blankets were a jumbled mess, but it still kept the both of you warm, and somehow had no little holes that the cold could sneak into.

She continues to read her book with the fairy lights she turned on on the bedpost helping her see the words written. The redhead awoke just a few minutes ago, and she would be doing her morning routine or getting breakfast ready by now, but with you on her body, getting the rest you needed, she didn't have it in herself to move.

The soft orange light from the bedroom bouncing off the walls blends with the blue sky, making itself known by going through the windows and illuminating a part of the room.

Nat had forgotten to close the curtains the night before, having been too preoccupied in taking care of you. But even so, just seeing the scene coming alive in front of her makes her feel a little more at peace.

You, too, seemed much more at peace.

------------------

A/N: If you look closely you could notice sweet nothing by taylor hidden throughout this <3

taglist <3 - join here! :]

@notevenanna @ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @justanotherteenpoet @fxckmiup @dmenby3100 @natsbraids-deactivated20231115 :( @animealways @natashasilverfox @wandsmxmff

[steddie-my-love]

Cleaning Frenzy

Mike Schmidt x OCD!Reader

a/n: i was just diagnosed with ocd and am really struggling with it so here’s a super self serving fic

cw: vague mental health discussion, mentions of anxiety, non-sexual nudity

—

your hands screamed in pain under the hot water of the faucet. there was no way of knowing how long you had stood in front of the sink scrubbing at the perfectly clean dishes in front of you but you knew it just wasn’t right.

behind you, the door opened and closed with the slight jingle of keys. He tried his best to be silent as he toed off his shoes, happy to slip into bed with you without a second thought but stopped when he saw the kitchen light still on.

“baby?” Mike’s voice called out in the silent apartment. You were normally asleep by now.

You stilled, not having realized the time. immediate overwhelm and shame gripped your throat as you looked down, taking in your cracked hands.

“y/n?” he asked a little louder as he turned the corner into the kitchen doorway. his eyebrows creased as he looked you up and down.

“Baby, what’s happening? are you okay?” he asked gently, speaking low as if anything louder would shatter you. A shallow breath drew through your lungs, doing everything to keep the creeping sense of anxiety at bay. “yeah i just- i couldn’t get the dishes clean and everything was so dirty and i just-“

“baby breathe” mike said, cutting you off as your mind began to spiral “you think you could put a hand on my chest?” he asked, not wanting to push you too far.

Your hand moved up, trying to touch him on his chest but you just couldn’t. There was no way of knowing what was on that fabric and it terrified you. Fresh tears sprung into your eyes as you tried again, desperately craving mike’s warmth.

“oh god, it’s okay y/n. you’re safe” Mike said, trying to soothe you “ how about we go and get clean then we can get some rest huh? that sound good baby?”

You nodded slowly, following mike as he led you to the shower. While you set up the water mike washed his hands before he pulled out two towels fresh from the cabinet. As you climbed behind the cloth curtain, mike hung up the two towels before following you in.

mike quickly took his loofa and scrubbed down his body, the smell of leather and pine greeting your nose.

Then it was your turn. you took the sweet smelling body wash off of the shelf and began to lather it in a wash cloth. your body was clean in no time, counting out the swipes over your skin making sure that everything was clean.

the panic seemed to drain out of you as you watched the soap bubbles fall, body losing tension quickly.

“ there you go baby” mike cooed as your eyes slipped closed, opening up his arms for you to fall into. immediately you leaned into him, chest warm against your skin. “you want me to do your hair or do you want to do it?” he asked, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“can you do it please?“ you murmured, tracing patterns onto his skin as you avoided eye contact. Before you knew it, mike’s hands were in your hair scrubbing and detangling your locks. You must have started to doze off before you felt the water shut off on your back.

mike stepped out of the shower quickly to wrap himself in a towel before wrapping you up as well. in your room you both changed, mike throwing your hair in a loose braid to stop it from tangling while you slept.

“there you go gorgeous” mike said, kissing you on the forehead. At this point you were exhausted, eyes slipping shut as your energy caught up with you “one last thing!” he said, and before you could blink he had pulled out a small tube of cream and was working it into your hands. “there you go baby! i know how chapped your hands get after so much activity”

“thank you so much mike, i love you” you said, slipping under the covers next to mike.

“i love you too y/n, try to get some rest” Mike replied, but you were already asleep

[moni-logues]

BDE

Pairing: Chan x gn.reader

Genre: pwp/smut but it's a little fluffy, established relationship

Summary: Chan tries to insist he has BDE when all he really has is a BD.

Word count: 2.1k

Content: Chan has a Big Dick, oral sex (m. receiving inc deep throat and choking), sexual activity in public toilets (but no one is around)

A/N: this started with, who else?, @minttangerines. I honestly don't even remember how the conversation started but then we were talking about a fic about Chan's Big Dick struggles lmao and this idea was born. That was weeks ago now and she finally wrote it. Thank you to Lia @quarter-life-crisis2 for reading this so late at night to reassure me it didn't suck balls.

*

“I don’t know about these, y’know...” 

“Well, I told you, didn’t I? You should have sized up!” 

“But I always get this size!” 

“And they’ve changed their sizing! I told you! And you didn’t listen so now you have to suffer.” 

You turned away from Chan and back to the mirror while he fussed, trying to adjust himself comfortably in his new boxer briefs that were, quite clearly, a little snug.  

“I don’t know if I can wear these,” Chan groaned, sitting heavily on the bed with his trousers unzipped.  

“You don’t own that suit; you cannot go commando. And I’m not letting you wear any of mine.” 

Chan groaned again, loudly aggrieved, and lay back on the bed.  

“Can’t believe I’m being hoisted by my own petard! Too much big dick energy!” he cried and you turned to deliver a withering look. 

“My darling, I am not sure you know what any of those words mean. You do not have BDE.” 

He was back upright in a flash. 

“What?! How can you say that?! We are literally having a conversation about how I don’t fit in my fucking pants right now.” 

“Having a big dick is not the same as having big dick energy?” You did not, before this moment, realise that your boyfriend was quite this stupid. It gave you second thoughts about the entire relationship.  

“It’s in the name? BIG DICK energy.” 

You gestured wildly, looking around the room as if there were anyone else there who could back you up. 

“Big Dick Energy. You might have a big dick-” 

“-I do, thank you ver-” 

“YES, fine! You do have a big dick, but that is not all that’s required. And I will neither accept nor tolerate your saying that it is.” 

“Putting me down in my time of strife. What a loveless relationship we have.” 

You give him an exaggerated wink and turned back to the mirror once more to apply your lipstick. 

* 

With no solution to his problem, Chan had no choice but to zip himself up, make himself presentable, and pray to the gods that the circulation to his dick wouldn’t get cut off. There are some losses no mere mortal could survive. 

“Stop fidgeting!” you hissed to him as he squirmed on the red carpet next to you.  

It was bright and overwhelming and you were reminded why you so infrequently accompanied him to these events. This time, though, he had been nominated for an award so you wouldn’t have dreamt of missing it. The camera flashes made your eyes hurt and the cacophony of paparazzi calls blurred into a singular, uninterpretable noise; it was like entering a completely inhuman world, where you were devoid of your usual senses, disoriented, out of place, and, were it not for Chan, completely untethered.  

This time, you were also distracted by his wriggling. 

“I can’t help it!” he hissed back. “I’m losing circulation down there, I swear!” 

“You’ll lose more than that if you keep touching your fucking dick on a red carpet!” 

He huffed but duly held still for the rest of the photos, shooting off into the toilets as soon as you got into the building.  

* 

He was uncomfortable. He could barely keep his hands away from his crotch. You noticed. You were sure other people also noticed. You were not sure that this was in any way good. You slipped one hand into his and pulled it into your lap. That didn’t stop him. The night was going to be long – already had been long and had so far left to go. You felt as though you were going to have to take things into your own hands. 

Not literally. 

Maybe literally. 

You leant over, your mouth close to his ear. 

“If you can leave yourself alone until the ceremony is over, I’ll make it worth your while,” you whispered, letting your lips just barely touch the hinge of his jaw before sitting back in your seat.  

He didn’t turn to look at you but you saw his Adam’s apple bob and he squeezed your hand tight. His free hand moved to the arm of the seat and stayed there.  

* 

“This counts, right?” he was asking before you were even out of the door. “It’s over?”  

He was pushing you gently, steering you into the nearest dark corner, and then pressing against you, his hands at your waist, his nose in your hair.  

“Have your boxers cut off the circulation to your brain, Chan?” You pushed him, a little less gently, backwards. “We are still in public! You really want me to suck you off right here?” You were whispering, eyes flicking beyond Chan’s head as more and more people filed out of the auditorium on their way to bars, after parties, bathrooms. 

“Honestly?” he asked, eyebrows raised, saying ‘yes’ without actually saying it.  

“I am not breaking public indecency laws for you.” 

“I’d do it for you!” 

“Oh, you’d go down on me here, would you?” 

He was genuinely lowering to his knees before you had finished the sentence and you scrambled to haul him to his feet, your face burning hot with embarrassment. 

“You’re incorrigible!”  

“No, baby, I am fucking desperate. Desperate to get these piece of shit boxers off me and your mouth on me.” 

You had promised him. So you wandered, as inconspicuously as possible, around to the other side of the building, to find some toilets that weren’t so busy. Rather, you were hoping for some that were empty.  

And you were in luck.  

“Shit, it’s my lucky night!” Chan whispered as you pushed open the last stall door, confirming that they were all empty.  

“Honey, you didn’t win the award and your underwear is slowly strangling your dick. What about that is lucky?” 

“First of all, rude. Second of all, in about one minute, I won’t even be able to remember my own name, let alone all that other stuff. Stop using your mouth to be smart and let me choke you.” 

You rolled your eyes and sank to your knees as he eliminated the space between you. He hesitated as he unzipped, then rolled his own eyes, stooping to kick off his shoes, take off his trousers and stretch, roll, and pull the offending underwear off, muttering all the while about how stupid they were and how much he hated them and the strongly worded email he’d be writing. Then he stood, naked from the waist down.  

“Oh yeah, you’re all BDE now. Y’know, Winnie the Pooh, he really fucks.”  

When Chan looked at you, you expected him to laugh or smirk or hell, roll his eyes back at you, but he didn’t. He just looked down with that dark intensity in his face, the one that said he wasn’t going to take it easy on you. He gestured with two fingers for you to come closer and you shuffled awkwardly on your knees. Then he traced your face with a featherlight touch. You reached your own hand up and used the same lightness as you ran your finger down his length.  

As his fingertips reached your jaw, he held you, his fingers starting to press, harder and harder as you opened your mouth wider. He ran a thumb over your bottom lip as he sank his teeth into his own. You stuck your tongue out to lick at his thumb as it passed and he nodded at you.  

He held you like that, mouth open, tongue out, looking up at him, as he took himself in his free hand, stiffening quickly, pumping slowly. He made you wait until the pre-cum was dripping from his head, until he was quietly huffing little satisfied groans, until you were shifting uncomfortably on your knees, your legs going numb, your stomach tightening with anticipation, your mouth watering—saliva flooding, making a mess of your clothes when you hadn’t even had a taste of him yet. You knew better than to ask, better than to protest. He’d only make you wait longer. Even though it was him who wanted this, who was ‘desperate’ for it, you knew he wouldn’t hesitate to make this a punishment for you.  

When you thought you would fall over, pass out, fling your hands into the air and grab hold of him, he nudged his hips forward, only the very tip of his dick touching your tongue. You lunged forward, wrapping your lips around him, expecting him to move backwards, to tease some more, to make you show him how patient you could be. 

He didn’t. He really was desperate. He let you take him to the hilt, eyes springing with tears when he hit your throat, those tears making tracks down your cheeks as you swallowed him, as you pushed until your nose hit his skin. 

“That’s right,” he sighed, his head tipping back, his fingers winding in your hair. “You fucking know- shit, you know how to do that right.”  

You did. When you first got together, he had very shyly confessed to you that he’d never come from a blowjob before, because people were intimidated by his size, because he was self-conscious of it, all too aware that it was too much for most. He never felt like he could ask for what he wanted, how he liked it, didn’t want to demand or pressure or make his partners feel uncomfortable. So he’d just  sucked it up and, eventually, gone without. It was ok, he had said with a light shrug; he didn’t really mind; he knew it was a lot. He had said many things that he had convinced himself were true. That he didn’t matter. Not really. That his partners shouldn’t try to make him feel good, that they shouldn’t work together to make all parts of sex a mutually enjoyable experience.  

But you weren’t easily intimidated. You were quickly and easily infatuated and then in love with a man so sweet, he spiked your blood sugar; a man so smart, he raised your IQ; a man so hot, he was targeted by climate change activists. And you were determined to show him what he had been missing. Determined to show him what he was worth. Determined to show him that no big dick was going to get in the way of you getting him all the way off, using just your mouth.  

He whimpered, the pitch of his voice tremulously high now, his dick leaping in your mouth so you gagged, choked a little, made him really feel the tight squeeze of your throat. He was whispering under his breath, swearing quickly, calling to god (as if he could help, as if he could do anything you couldn’t), breathing your name in a way that made you physically ache for him to fill you.  

You had this down to an art. You knew his every twitch and every hitch in his breath, could time, down to the second, when he was about to finish. Still bobbing up and down, drooling along his rigid length, you took his balls in one hand and squeezed, slowly and evenly, pressing and rubbing on his taint with the other. You felt the full-body shudder go through him and the gasp which always accompanied his release. You took it all, every drop, every time. 

Chan stood, his hands fallen from your hair, limp at his sides, his eyes closed, mouth open, breathing gradually evening out. You sat back and watched him. 

“I can’t believe I have to put those fucking boxers back on,” he said when his feet touched back down to earth.  

You laughed.  

“Don’t make me say ‘I told you so’ again.” 

You stumbled as you rose to your feet, your legs fizzing back to life and making you unsteady. Chan held you securely. 

“You know I like you a lot more with my dick in your mouth?” 

But he was smiling, dreamy-eyed, putting his warm, solid hands on your waist and pulling you in for a kiss. It was more than you had expected: not a peck, his lips firm against yours, opening slightly, the pressure as he sucked at your bottom lip making your knees go weak again. You smiled at him when he pulled back, dazed, a haze of love and lust swirling around you. 

You hummed lightly. 

“Well, if you’re a really good boy for the rest of the night, I’ll put it back there when we get home.” 

He grinned, smirked actually, and gave you another quick kiss. 

“Can’t resist my big dick energy, right?” 

Your face fell as his lifted into a shit-eating grin. You walked away, out of the toilets, leaving him scrambling to re-dress himself and come after you.  

[sprinklenoodles]

Basically though, I binge-read ALL of A Legacy will Be Crowned Like, ALLLLL that was there so far and my gosh am I hating myself for not reading it sooner! I was a fool! A looooser!!! No joke, I was just hooked, enthralled. Also, since I am far too excited to put my thoughts into a coherent structure, some other disjointed thoughts are the following: 1. Kijo Togami. Even without the fic note at the end of his introduction chapter mentioning how he was fun to write for you, I could just sense it OOZING all over his dialogue and actions. Really like this interpretation of his character. He sucks yet he fascinates me. Makes me wish I had a consistent design for him so I can just draw him. 2. Byakuya is really fun to follower here. Even with knowing the end result of the competition, the fun lies in his decisions, how he solves problems and the said problems he faces. Also, it helps that, due to his age, one is already bound to route for him as the underdog of the family, even with the trajectory of how he preforms in the competition being clear to the reader. Like, even though we KNOW he's not going to fail due to the nature of the canon as this is a prequal, one can still worry about him and his wellbeing. I like that a lot! You fond a good balance with that since a pitfall that can occur is that the reader isn't invested with the main character because they already know what will become of them. Also, one other thing I wanna add is that I like how he's not written in a belittling way or as an over-competent super genius. He's still a kid but it's also apparent he has exceptional qualities that make him different from the others but not annoyingly different 3. The siblings. Though there isn't too much to say, I like just their being. There isn't much info on all of them but it fits since we're following Byakuya. We get small details though. Do wish I knew what they'd look like cus I am just at a loss still. Also, I liked Byakuya's dynamic with a "certain character" I don't wanna spoil btw for those who are just seeing this, so I will just say "that one prick" and those who know will know B] 4. I know I already mentioned Kijo but I just LOVE the staging of those intermission chapters where he's talking with Aloysius all sinister with a glass of wine. Like, he's giving diabolical energy with just a hint of camp that makes him so fun to read. And, I just adore his remarks to Aloysius, very cold, uncaring. How he clearly tears the butler down with his sharp words and the showcase of Aloysius's character with how he handles this. Cus, he's been around as Kijo's main butler for ages and it shows! Also, I swear. If I didn't have art block at the time I'm writing this, and could draw some backgrounds, I'd SO draw a detailed, colored piece of Kijo sitting in his fancy chair, turned away from Aloysius as he monologues, eyes intent on the screens watching the contestants. Like MMM I LOVE IT!!! It's so moody and I can just feel the atmosphere oozing off the page!! AAAAH!! Also, mentioning it now, while reading, to set the mood, I listened to some Pokemon music. And, since why not, here's what I listened to Here is Number 1 - listened at the beginning before it got epic. basically the first chapter only AND here is Number 2 - was a general listen. something eery but not horror like AND, my favorite Number 3 - THIS GAVE ME THE SHIVERS WHEN I READ CHAPTER 9 MY GOOOOOSH! WHY DOES THIS FIT SO WELL FOR KIJO?! Or at least, I fits for me at least! I could be wrong though! You can decide for yourself if it does!! Dunno if it's just be but my gosh and I just aaah! I can't even word it right cus I'm too busy being so hyped for this! Got the metaphorical chills!! Will totally draw art of this like, sometime. Might take me ages and I totally have to get better at backgrounds in order to draw these set pieces but like, yes!!!!!!

AHHHH. Got so excited while reading this!!! Thank you SO much.

But lemme go into what u said.

1. Kijo- he really does just suck. Guy couldn't care less about his children unless they're his heir. But also, he's entertaining. The stupid dude is just like that.

2. Byakuya- He really is the underdog, though he refuses to believe that. The thing is, he does think he is better than his siblings- he is destined to become heir- yet he can't exactly show it to them. He knows that they're physically stronger- he's a scrawny 11 year old.

But since he isn't heir just yet, he is not that overconfident. He knows that he needs to work hard to become heir. Plus, his siblings aren't idiots (for the most part) They're Togami's, and just cuz he is gonna be the heir, doesn't mean that they couldn't prose a problem, like a certain somebody.

3. The siblings- Yeah, there isn't much known about them since Byakuya simply... doesn't care. He sees them as his competitors, nothing more. Unless they become a thorn in his path to become hei, he just doesn't think about them unless the situation calls for it.

Like I said, he doesn't (fully) underestimate them but that doesn't mean he ever focuses on them. Their looks aren't really described since Byakuya couldn't care less about that for the most part.

I do have small descriptions for all of them tho if you're interested! Have a little page in a document with just a wee bit of info about each sibling. That also includes which THH character they represent.

4. The intermissions were also some of my fav things to write. Just seeing Kijo's thoughts on everything and how his... behaviour towards Byakuya changes a wee bit with every chapter is just very fun to write. And Aloysius goes perfectly with this since there is just such a big power gap between them which leads to Kijo being much more open.

And Kijo does trust Aloysius- in his eyes, he's the best servant possible. Doesn't change the fact he just sees Aloysius as a servant though... Poor dude.

But glad you liked it so much!!! For some reason, people really like it, despite it being such a small fic in my eyes. Can't wait to see what amazing art you come with once your artblock is gone! Be sure to take your time :D

[tenpintsofsundrop]

The Perfect Brat

Dom!Elle Greenaway x Dom!Fem!Reader x Sub!Spencer Reid (Smut Blurb)

Concept: Spencer acts up. You and Elle put him in his place. It's an unconventional relationship, but it works so well.

Word Count: 2,900

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link

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Full list of warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: this is primarily a smut fic; she reader uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina; this could be read with or without considering the major canon events; dom/sub dynamics - Dom!Elle, Dom!Reader, Sub!Spencer (he is definitely more of a brat in this and I had so much fun writing it); implications of an ongoing poly relationship between the three of them; punishment and reward (Spencer is punished for being mouthy/talking back); size difference kink/reverse size kink (the reader loves how skinny and easy to toss around Spencer is); Spencer is spanked, Spencer is gagged with his own tie (the tie is also used like a leash on him); general rough play; Spencer calls the reader 'Miss'; undertones of humiliation kink, mentions of subspace, mentions of pain kink, Spencer is called a whore, a slut a stupid brat; degradation kink (towards Spencer); mentions of paddling; mentions of jealousy; bondage - Spencer has his hands tied behind his back; Spencer wears a cockring; orgasm restriction (toward Spencer); Spencer is forced to watch while Elle fucks the reader with a strap-on (the reader is a bottom between Elle and the reader, but she still is 100% a dom in this); as mentioned - strap-on sex (Elle fucks the reader with a strap-on); crying kink (Spencer is pretty when he cries); mentions of pegging (from Elle toward Spencer); hair pulling (reader receiving); Elle is called 'Mistress'; the reader and Elle could both be considered mean in this. I hope that's everything and I haven't missed anything important.

A/N: the inspiration behind this is actually so funny. I was working on the second part of Lessons For A Genius and I literally thought to myself 'Spencer is too nice in this. he's too well behaved' - and then I started thinking about a fic where Spencer is a bratty sub and gets punished, and then in that scenario, Elle suddenly appeared in my head (I guess because Elle has such dom energy and she's always bossing Spencer around in the show, this is just too real, they have so much chemistry) - and next thing I know I was opening another tab to write this because I couldn't help myself. So I hope you guys enjoy it!! I would love to write more fics where Spencer is a bratty sub in the future. I just love writing sub!Spencer in general. (some people have asked me to write dom!Spencer and I am warming up to it very, very slowly.) anyway, please enjoy!

...

You were in the room for less than thirty seconds when Spencer’s pants were down. 

Usually, something like this occurred out of pure lust or need. Spencer was a very needy boy. It was rare that you felt this much annoyance building up inside of you. It was rare that you tore off his clothes out of anger. 

But he had mouthed off to you in front of the local cops, whining that you ‘weren’t his mother’ when you asked him how many cups of coffee he’d had that day and advised him to drink some water. It had been a sassy comeback that had several of the men in the room laughing, and at the time, Spencer had been grinning into that ill-advised seventh cup of coffee, thinking that you couldn’t see him. 

It was something that got a warm rage simmering inside of you. 

Generally, he had been the biggest kind of brat all day. He had been mouthing off, even going so far as to talk back to Hotch when given orders. And you weren’t taking too kindly to it. 

He had to know who was in charge. He had to know that you wouldn’t stand for him being a mouthy brat. 

The door to the hotel room had barely closed behind you before you had his belt undone, the heft of the leather causing the fabric of his slacks to drop to his ankles. This left him entirely exposed from the waist down, feeling a rush of vulnerability, knowing he was in trouble. His stomach clenched in anticipation. You weren’t entirely surprised to find that he wasn’t wearing underwear. He had been acting out all day because he was feeling needy, apparently. 

Before he could speak, only uttering out a few half hearted protests, you shoved him hard. He was so skinny, so easy to push around, it was almost laughable. You pushed him until you had him exactly where you wanted him - bent over the dresser in the middle of the room. It was a chest of drawers with an attached vanity mirror, forcing him to bend over it and brace his hands on the surface so he could look at himself in the mirror. 

So he could stare himself down and face all of his beautiful shame as you tore him apart. 

“Look, Miss, please-” He stuttered out. 

Clearly he was still trying to come back from this, still trying to grovel, trying to apologize. 

But it was too late for that. You had decided that during the car ride back. 

“Shut up.” You told him gruffly. 

You reached around his body to his front and grabbed his tie, slipping it slightly loose before you brought it partway up his head. He was confused by this, until you slipped the loop into his mouth, effectively gagging him. You then spun it so the length of the tie was at the back of his head. You tightened it harshly then, causing him to moan as the fabric scuffed sorely against the sides of his mouth. 

But that wasn’t all. 

You yanked back on the length of the tie as though it were a leash, pulling his tall body into a tense arch, forcing him to be exactly where you wanted him to be. He moaned deeply as a wave of pleasurable pain shot through his body, his back cracking slightly as you forced him into such an uncomfortable position. Your other hand was on his lower back, keeping his hips pinned against the edge of the dresser as you forced his neck back as far as it would go. 

His muscles quivered and tears easily came to his eyes. His cock throbbed harshly with all of it. He always needed to be put in his place. He needed his head to be emptied as the control was taken away from him - as he was owned wholly, his body and mind no longer his own. 

When you were sure that he would stay like this, the subspace setting in and making him slightly more compliant, you moved the hand on his lower back. This forced him to hold the position on his own, his legs becoming shaky - but he didn’t move to make himself more comfortable, which did cause you to grin. 

Then, you hauled your hand back, delivering a harsh spank across his bare ass cheek. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You bit out harshly. “I know I did not train you to be such a fucking brat.” 

You delivered another spank, his soft skin already turning red from your hits. Your palm was stinging slightly, but you didn’t care. It gave you a certain thrill, and it was worth teaching him a lesson if his ass was sore tomorrow and he remembered this. Usually not being able to sit right did help him remember to behave. 

All Spencer could do was moan in response, being very effectively gagged by his own tie. His cock was angry and hard, trapped between his pelvis and the edge of the dresser as you punished him. 

“You’re just a needy little whore, aren’t you?” 

You barked, pulling his neck back even harder. This caused him to whine out in pain, such a beautiful sound that had you dizzy with pleasure as your ego swelled. You pulled him closer to you and placed your lips close to his ear, hissing the next words near his cheek with malice. 

“What’s wrong? The needy slut doesn’t get enough attention?” 

“Come on, Y/N, take it easy on him,” Elle chuckled from the corner, taking a sip of her drink. 

She had ridden with Morgan, so she had made it to the room an easy five minutes before you and Reid had. And thus far, she had been heavily enjoying the show that the two of you were putting on. But she did think you were being a bit too rough considering that Reid was a bit lippy on a good day. 

“Oh, I need to take it easy?” You chuckled sarcastically, looking over your shoulder at her. 

You tossed your hold on the tie, letting Spencer’s body relax forward slightly while you assessed Elle. He let out a whimper of relief, but didn’t make any further noise to draw attention to himself - not wanting the two of you to gang up on him and make his punishment even worse. (The two of you were devious minds, and when you worked together, it was a beautiful kind of destruction.) 

Sitting there, Elle was smug as ever, staring you and Spencer down with a clear heat in her eyes. 

“Last time you paddled him, he couldn’t walk for a week.” You added on, bringing up the memory to try and prove your point. 

“He was flirting with that waitress, he deserved it.” Elle said, speaking as though it was the obvious thing in the world. 

Generally speaking, you weren’t even sure if Spencer knew how to flirt. You thought that for the most part he just didn’t know when other people were flirting with him and didn’t know when to deflect it to stop it from pissing you and Elle off. But you had enjoyed it too much to argue with Elle about it - his bright red ass and awkward gait for the week following that paddling had just been too good. 

You used the tie-leash and a tight hold on one of his hips to spin Spencer around, tossing him onto one of the double beds in the room. He landed roughly on his stomach with a light bounce. He let out a jagged moan as his exposed cock scraped against the cheap hotel bedspread. But - true to form, trying to prove that he was a good boy, he did nothing more than lay there, staying perfectly still where you had put him. 

Elle grinned at him before she looked back to you. 

“So, what do you think we should do with him?” You asked, putting a hand on Spencer’s shoulder to flip him over onto his back, presenting him to her like a filthy prize. 

Spencer whimpered quietly and blinked up at you and Elle with big, wet eyes, clearly thinking that the puppy dog look could get him some sympathy. But there was no chance of mercy. He had already made his bed, and he was going to get fucked in it.

“I have a few ideas.” Elle chuckled. 

… 

That was how Spencer ended up in his current position. 

He was sitting in the chair that Elle had previously been sitting in, stripped completely naked. A light sheen of sweat had formed over his skin, causing his hair to stick to his forehead in that beautifully desperate way. His hands were tied behind his back with his own belt, and a cockring was secured around the base of his needy, throbbing cock. 

There was no possible way for him to get relief. Even if he became so desperate as to hump the furniture, all that he would get was a fruitless, horrible dry orgasm. The cockring so tight around him definitely assured that. And with his hands tied behind his back, he couldn’t take it off. Especially not with the way the two of you were keeping a watchful eye on him. 

You and Elle certainly weren’t going to let him get away with anything. 

He certainly wasn't going to get out of your line of sight. That was the whole point. 

The bulk of his punishment was to watch. 

To watch you and Elle and not be allowed to touch his needy, throbbing cock. To have a feast of sights before him, but be stuck, not allowed to cum. Not even allowed to feel the slightest bit of relief against his pathetic dick until you or Elle decided that he’d had enough. 

“Please.” Spencer begged hopelessly. 

His hips arched up into the air slightly, humping into nothing, fruitlessly seeking contact. His cock dribbled out precum, almost as if the pretty pink cockhead was weeping out in protest, trying to show his deep, unsatisfied need. 

“Please!” He bawled. “I’ll be a good boy! I promise!” 

His voice was so beautifully wrecked. It sent a wave of pleasurable tingles right through you. 

“Did you hear that?” Elle chuckled behind you. “He promises.” She cooed these words mockingly. 

Both of you knew that it wasn’t a promise he could keep for too long. 

Elle huffed out a devilish laugh as she raked the sharpness of her nails across your back. She sounded just as amused as you were watching Spencer’s pathetic attempts to get back on both your good sides. 

“I fucking doubt it.” You grunted back breathlessly. 

“If he wasn’t so pathetic, I might take pity on him.” Elle said, her voice taking on that mean edge that she knew Spencer loved. 

He moaned at the words, his hips flexing up once again. Unlike when he played poker, during sex, he always gave away all his cards, always showed what pleased him most and what his weakest spots were. It was one of the reasons you loved taking him apart so much. One of the reasons you loved owning him. 

“If you were a ‘good boy’, you’d shut up and watch me fuck your precious Miss without complaining,” Elle said, continuing to mock him, fucking her hips harder into you to drive home her point. 

She had you in the middle of the bed, perfectly on display for Spencer - on your hands and knees, completely stripped naked. The two of you were a perfect visual tease for him - with Elle in her bright red lacy bra, a commanding presence behind you with her thick seven inch strap-on buried in your wet, wanting pussy. You were absolutely enjoying yourself as she fucked in and out of you with an intense roughness. 

Most of the time, the two of you teamed up as a wicked force against Spencer - and combined, you were a deadly sinful team. But when the two of you took the time to enjoy pleasuring each other, it was a rough, chaotic slice of heaven. Like lighting clashing against itself in the best way. 

When you did let her fuck you, you weren't whiny or submissive to her wills. You took it well, never begged for it. And she understood you and what you needed - the feeling of a thick cock splitting you open, that rough touch that Spencer never gave you because he was so subservient to your will. You loved the fact that she didn’t treat you like a glass doll. 

“Please!” Spencer tried again, going directly against Elle’s order to sit there and shut up. 

You weren’t sure if it was him playing up again or if he actually thought he could talk his way out of this somehow. 

“Please, let me touch you! Let me help you cum! Let me service you, Miss! I’ll be so good!” Spencer begged, his words dissolving into sobs as the desperation heightening within him. 

“What? You think you’re allowed to touch this pussy? You think you should be allowed?” Elle growled, fucking into you so hard that it caused a wet smacking to resonate through the room - something that made Spencer want you even more. 

You laughed in response to Spencer’s whiny antics, and the incredible fake cock plunging into you from behind - a sound that dissolved into a loud moan when Elle reached around and rubbed your clit, clearly wanting even more from you. 

Elle hammered her hips against you like she hated you, fucked into your pussy with a brutal passion. She was partially trying to show Spencer what he was missing out on, a deadly ache growing in his gut when he thought about the emptiness he felt without her perfect fake cock. Because he did spend a fair amount of time fucked out and drooling on her strap when she wanted to fuck him with it - from either end. 

And she was partially trying to get you to be messier, wetter, louder, putting on more of a show for him. The more beautiful and pornographic you were, the more effective his punishment was (not that it was hard for you to become a walking sex dream, as gorgeous as you naturally were). 

Elle loved to fuck you like this - she loved having your tight pussy hugging the silicone of her cock. You were a challenge. You didn’t simply beg for her cock, your body didn’t just mold and bend to her wills because she touched you with strong hands. You always fucked your hips back into her twice as hard, and you laughed and snarled back if she called you a dirty bitch. 

It was part of the reason that the two of you so perfectly destroyed someone as needy and submissive as Spencer. Spencer, the type of person who got whiny and started acting up if he didn’t get enough attention from either of you in the run of a day. 

“I’ll be good!” Spencer whined. “Please! Please, just touch me! I promise I won’t do it again!” 

His eyes had become as wet as his cock, the tip glistening with precum as tears dripped from the corners of his eyes, his entire being reeking of desperation and uncontained lust. 

“Do you even know what you did this time, you stupid brat?” Elle prodded, her voice dark and lacking any sweetness as she spat the words across the room at him. 

Spencer let out a wounded sound that was barely recognizable - perhaps he was trying to compose himself to speak, perhaps he was truly clueless. 

He could be so mouthy sometimes, but most of the time, he didn’t even recognize his sass as a problem. 

“What makes you think you’re worthy to touch her? What makes you think that you get to touch her after being such a dumb brat all day?” Elle teased him. 

She emphasized her words by yanking back on your hair, delivering a pleasurable amount of pain that made you moan out as she continued to harshly thrust her hips into your wet cunt. 

“What makes you think that a brat like you gets to touch these perfect tits?” Elle mocked him, leaning over you to grope roughly at your swaying breasts. Of course, just to show him what he couldn’t have and heavily enjoying your body in the process. 

You chuckled at this, enjoying the way Spencer’s features twisted up in displeasure. Clearly he was whiny, wanting so badly to touch you - but he hadn’t earned it. Not tonight. 

He let out a few more tears before he spoke again. 

“I’m sorry.” He sniffled quietly. “I’m a bad boy. I’ve been bad.” 

“Why?” You heaved out, breathless from Elle’s efforts. “Why are you bad?” 

“Good boys don’t talk back.” Spencer finally admitted, his voice weak with defeat. 

“Look, the genius finally figured it out.” Elle commented, beautiful condescension dripping through her voice. 

“Good!” You huffed, fucking your hips harshly back into Elle’s cock while you locked eyes with Spencer’s wet, glassy ones. “Now keep your whiny fuckin’ mouth shut while Mistress fucks me, and maybe - fuck - and maybe I won’t keep that cockring on you all day tomorrow.” 

Spencer whined harshly at this, but didn’t protest. Elle grinned, planting a kiss on the back of your neck before she dug her nails into your hips and fucked you faster.