#i apologize in advance for putting this in the main tag

[cursed-onepiss]

kureha is in fact the doctor of all 7 warlords

who else would be brave enough to give mihawk a prostate exam

[steviewashere]

Hi possible prompt for your ask box celebration (congrats on 330 btw!!)

Eddie is one of those street poets w/ a typewriter that will write people on the street a poem abt anything they ask for, in exchange for tips or like $5

& Steve walks by & asks for a poem & Eddie is immediately like 😍😍😍

& then maybe Eddie flirts outrageously through the poem, or he tries so hard to keep it #professional but he’s so goo-goo over this (Adonis of a man) guy that he fails miserably, or whatever direction you would want to take it

anyway Steddie meetcute street poetry 🥰🥰🥰

This was such a fun prompt. And before we get anywhere with this, I did have to write a little poem here and it does sort of suck. Apologies in advance for it. Steve Harrington is usually not my main muse, lol. But I still enjoyed this <3

Tags: Alternate Universe - No Upside Down, Alternate Universe - No Supernatural, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Meet-Cute, Set in New York, Strangers to Lovers, Mild Angst, Fluff, Steve Harrington Has Self Esteem Issues, Brief Mentions of Car Accidents, Poet Eddie Munson, Muse Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington's Friendship, Eddie Munson Calls Steve Harrington Sunshine

Also on AO3 (because this one got long)

📝————————📝 Eddie Munson doesn’t sell drugs anymore. Nope. He’s a refined, renewed, reorganized man. That being said, he still needed to make money somehow. It wasn’t enough to do just mechanic work on the weekdays; something had to happen over the weekends, else he wouldn’t make it for his bills.

So he picks up a few new hobbies. Cycling, because that was the cheapest way for him to get around—he’s not particularly good at that one, but he still tries anyway. Photography, because his neighbor was selling his older cameras and the opportunity just couldn’t pass by. Then, there was his new found little business/career/dilly-dally.

Poetry.

On weekends, Eddie Munson, the guy who can’t afford to go to jail because of some rat-faced little tell-all not liking his product, writes poetry for a bit of extra cash. He sets up in Central Park with a little collapsable table and a few stools, a heavy as shit typewriter that his uncle off-loaded onto him, and enough paper to whoever is buying. There’s a tip jar dutifully set up by his feet. And the pay rate is whatever people can afford or want to afford.

One time, he wrote poems for a group of six giggly, drunk girls coming back from brunch mimosas—they gave him $30 each. Another, a little old man who had just beat a group of preteens at basketball—he could only afford the $3.50 that was rattling around in his shorts. Sometimes kids would come up and ask about getting a poem about their mom or their puppy or the little daisy they had just picked—they got theirs for free (they need to save their money for ice cream. And, also, he’s not going to get in trouble for a kid choosing to spend their lunch money. No sir-ee).

The weekends could be dry, though. They could get boring. But the sun hits him nice. And he usually sees a few beautiful pooches. And, well, he gets to work on his craft. A passion of his that he held onto since being a little kid. And people appreciate him for it, which is…nice to put it in simple terms.

This Saturday, though, is a rather dry day for customers. It’s overcast. There are less people out, though Central Park is never completely empty. And his tip jar is basically just flies and dust.

Until, fortunately, a man approaches him. He seems timid, a bit shy, even if his smile is all charm. His hair is swooped over and curling at his shoulders, brunette with blonde highlights. The man’s skin is tanned from the most recent summer, not quite fading into this early fall. Dotted with moles, poking out from the collar of his polo and the sleeves, down to his wrists, a few on his face. He has a gorgeous nose: greatly geometric and centered between all his features, sun kissed on the tip, a little crooked on the bridge—aquiline. His lips are a soft pink, a bit pouty, stretching wonderfully around his straight, white teeth. And his eyes are a tad downturned, hooded, shiny with excitement; hazel, but leaning more towards a light shade of brown, fanned by long, dark eyelashes, and squinting with his smile. He’s tall—probably around Eddie’s height, 5’11”. Pretty fit—his arms are toned and his hands are large and he’s broad on the shoulders, but he’s not bean pole thin like Eddie is, just a little chunkier. And, Eddie’ll never admit this out loud, but the dude’s got a great ass, perfectly squeezed in by a pair of Levi’s—light wash, edging on skinny, but not entirely form-fitting. His polo is a darling yellow ochre; rich and warm and perfect to his skin tone.

He doesn’t know what kind of poem he’ll write for this guy, but fuck him, he just wants to wax on and on about this literal slice of heaven that’s standing over him. Smiling. Hands clasped together in front of him. His bright, sunshine eyes. And…yeah, that’s a word to describe this guy.

Sunshine.

“Um—hey, you’re the guy that does the little typewriter poems, right?” The guy asks, his knuckles turning white as he squeezes his hands tighter together. He shifts from one foot to the other, a quick nervous tic that you’d miss if you weren’t looking at him. And now that he’s stepped closer to the makeshift “booth”, Eddie can smell him. There’s a rich earthy undertone to him—the bark of freshly wet pine trees, a drop or two of eucalyptus, and there’s a touch of citrus to him, too; orange or vanilla-lemon, it’s hard to tell.

Eddie wants to stick his nose in the crook of this guy’s neck. Wants to suckle on his skin. Lick a stripe from the underside of his jaw, down to his ankles, and back up all over his face.

But he just smiles, soft and pulling, and blinks up at him. “Yeah, that’s me,” he states softly. “Want me to write you one? It costs however much you’d like to pay.”

“However much?” His face goes a little complicated. The biggest, Muppet-esque frown Eddie’s ever seen, the pinch of his eyebrows, and a tilt to his head. He’s gauging the near empty tip jar, from where his eyes seem to trail. “Isn’t that a bad rule for business?”

Eddie shrugs. “I dunno. I know nothing about business. But…It’s kept me afloat most of the time, so it’s not terrible.”

The guy makes a short grunt of assessment. “Hm, okay,” he murmurs, “do I pay you now or after?”

“After.”

“Okay,” he murmurs again. Even his voice is doing things to Eddie. It’s all deep at the base of his throat. A little raspy as if he smokes cigarettes; probably does based on the curl of stale smoke Eddie smells from him as he settles into a stool. “I know that you usually do whatever prompt the customer gives, but I’m sort of…I’m pea for brains, so I can’t really think of anything. Is it okay if…Can you just pick something?”

Eddie tilts his head and looks off of the guy’s shoulder. Miffed at how downtrodden this stranger is on himself. He gazes back and asks, “Can I write about you?”

His eyes widen and he jolts in his seat just a fracture. “I mean, sure. If that’s really the muse you want to go with.” And then he gives a self-deprecating chuckle. Eddie kind of wants to shake him by the shoulders and scream to the whole fucking galaxy about how beautiful he is. But he restrains. “Nothing about the scars on the backs of my arms, though, please,” guy adds a moment later, so quiet that Eddie almost misses it. “It’s from a bad car accident and I—I’m just now getting back into the swing of wearing short sleeves.”

Nodding, Eddie says, “You got it. And hey—“ He takes the sleeve of his t-shirt and rolls it up. The shirt’s from an old club in high school, the Hellfire Club. Quarter sleeves to his elbows. But right above the crease of his left elbow is a long, scraggly, winding scar that creeps from the base of his neck. He even points to the side of his face, at the large swatch of scarring on his jaw. How Mr. Beautiful Stranger didn’t notice it, Eddie’s unsure. “—I understand,” he states gently. “Also from a bad wreck. It happens to the best of us,” he tries to joke.

And even his laughter melts Eddie. High pitched and unrestrained, giggles coming straight from his heart. “Yeah, okay,” he sighs. “Sure, I’ll be your muse.”

Eddie sets up his typewriter, at the start of the paper, two fingers down, not indented. “Do you care if I use your name as the title?”

“Steve,” he softly says, “and yours?”

The corners of Eddie’s mouth curl upwards lightly, just a little thing. “I’m Eddie. Some people around here will call me Ed, but you call me whatever you want.”

Steve hums. “How about Eds? Actually…Unless that’s—That might be stupid, never mind.”

Barreling, Eddie just asks, “How ‘bout I call you Stevie?” He grins with it. “We can be Eds and Stevie, the unlikely duo.”

Another little fit of giggles, Eddie’s never felt so full. “Okay, Eds and Stevie, The Unlikely Duo. Thanks for not making me feel dumb.”

“You’re only dumb if you’re a bigot. And, I could be wrong, but every aspect of you does not spell bigot. You seem like a nice guy, all things considered.”

Instead of a verbal response, all Eddie receives is a slow lull of silence. But when he looks up, Steve is staring right back. A soft, pleased smile on his face. Cheeks flushed. It’s like he’s bursting at the seams with the approval. Maybe he is, Eddie considers, maybe nobody’s ever told him that. And that thought gets shut down almost as fast as it formed, makes Eddie’s chest hurt just a little too much to work through.

“So, Steve, what’s got you out here this morning?” He works better with conversation, so hopefully Steve will give him this.

“Oh,” Steve softly exclaims as if he wasn’t expecting Eddie to talk to him. Or to acknowledge him. Or to even exist with him past this poem. “I come out here and feed birds on Saturday mornings. Technically, I don’t think I’m supposed to, but nobody’s stopped me. Just ran out of seed and was sort of wandering around and remembered that you were here. I’ve never had interest in coming over here, but I’ve seen you, so it was just what my best friend told me that drew me over.”

“Mm, word from mouth. All good things, I can only hope.”

Steve snorts. “Yeah, amazing things, actually. She said you were really nice to her. She had come home from brunch with a few of her friends and they were tipsy.” He sighs, chuckling through it. “It was noon on a Saturday when she came back to our apartment. And I could smell the alcohol on her. Think I was…I had been sleeping—I’m a heavy sleeper and I’m chronically fatigued all the time, so I tend to sleep in late. But she came into my room, shook my shoulder, and was a crying mess when I finally saw her. Asked her what was wrong. She just blubbered on and on about how a really nice guy wrote something really nice for her about her little friendship. And I just…I don’t know. I wanna read something that makes me feel better about the world and maybe also reduces me to tears.”

Eddie stops where he’d been softly clacking away on his typewriter. He tends to type loud, but something about Steve makes him stop and appreciate even the air around him. Something about him just soothes Eddie. Also, the fact that he rambles is cute. He’s good at silences. And he’s good at just talking.

“Well, I can’t promise that it’ll be the best thing you’ve ever read,” Eddie slowly states. “I can try, though. I can try to write something beautiful.”

“You’re writing about me, so I’m not expecting it to be beautiful,” Steve quickly says. He backtracks though, stopped in his seat and wide-eyed. His mouth is agape and his cheeks are completely red now. “Forget I said that. That’s—I struggle a lot with that and I promised my best friend that I’d stop being so hard on myself, but it just is…automatic.”

As nonchalant as possible, Eddie begins to type again. He confesses more towards his paper, trying to avoid the eye contact, “You are beautiful, so this’ll come easy.” And then he’s met with that same slow lull of silence. The romantic kind of silence that Steve seems entirely attracted to. And, yeah actually, Eddie kind of appreciates it. The curve of the silence and the warmth of its face, the plushness of its lips in the ways it kisses the both of them. If Steve is so inclined to sit in this silence after admittances like that, maybe Eddie can learn to love them. If Steve wants more than just this poem.

He’s at the final stanza when Steve begins to speak again.

“Have you ever written about yourself?”

“Mmm, no,” Eddie murmurs, typing away, “no I don’t think I have.”

Steve takes a grand breath. “Y’know, if you like writing about the beauty in things, you should write about yourself, too.” He’s fiddling with his hands, focus elsewhere, when Eddie is openly staring at him again.

“Yeah?” Eddie asks. Steve nods carefully, eyes shiny with nerves now. He’s chewing on the inside of his right cheek. Eyes darting back and forth and back and forth. “You think I’m beautiful?” He meekly questions.

“Yeah, I think so. You’ve got these…huge brown eyes that pull me in and they’re sort of soft on your face, kind of like a deer, maybe a baby cow? I love those two, so don’t be insulted. And…You’re always sitting in the sun, but you’re still sort of pale and it makes it easier to see all the little freckles you’ve got. And—I, for one—love freckles. I think that your hair is just wonderful. And I—I don’t know, I’ve seen you around. Maybe I’ve thought about you a little too much.” His smile is sheepish and cute. Absolutely adorable.

Eddie grins. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re hitting on me.” He works the paper out of the typewriter, smooths the fine wrinkles at the bottom of the sheet, and then looks his writing over.

Steve gains a manly kind of confidence to him now. He leans forward, just a hair away from seeing what Eddie wrote, and talks low and smooth. “And if I was?”

He glances up, warming on the face. “I’d say that I like it and…y’know, if my poem doesn’t suck, I know a good cafe around here. Only if this is good and only if you’re interested.”

“Show me what you got, Eds. I’ll probably take you up on that lunch offer after.”

In the short few years Eddie’s been doing this, he’s never been nervous to present his work. But he hands the paper over, hands shaking and palms sweating. And waits, with bated breath, as Steve reads it over:

————— There is a glow to him. A cast of light that brightens the world as I know it. From just one glance of his smile—all pearl and pink and new I could tell there was something special to him.

He’s sunshine, I believe.  The very ball of light, the all encompassing warmth of a celestial body, the very thing that continues to sustain. There is love through him, within everything he does.

Just one look at him and I’m refreshed. Even with very little, even with just appearances alone. May he know the way I was drawn in—maybe that makes me Icarus. To want to know something so much, you’re ready for everything that comes with it; Even the chance to burn up, even the chance to merge with it, even the chance to only see it once.

May he know that before I knew his name, I knew his smile. Before I knew his name, I knew his trepidation. Before I knew his name, I knew his warmth.

It’s not enough, to say he’s gorgeous. That’s not a strong enough word. But he is. Oh, how he is.

He’s painted my world golden— I see sunlight with him.

May he know that I’ll carry his light in my chest, May he know that I selfishly want more. ————— Finally, Steve’s attention goes back to Eddie’s face directly.

“I tried,” Eddie says, “it got away from me, though. And I…I didn’t write exactly how you’re beautiful. But there’s something about you—Something so out of this world, beyond what anybody could ever possibly comprehend. You seem like somebody worth knowing, worth being around.” He swallows hefty when Steve continues to just stare. His face is completely unreadable. “You approached my table and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. Just sucked me right in, every part of you. Sorry if this…If this wasn’t what you were looking for.”

Though, when Eddie is only met with that silence from earlier, he takes the opportunity to stare a little longer. At the high flush of Steve’s cheeks. The fine sheen of his eyes. There’s a little pinch between his eyebrows and a twist to his mouth.

“My best friend,” Steve wetly murmurs, “she always tells me that I’m the light of her world. And I—“ He sighs, the sound a lot choked and stuttering. “—I don’t know. I’ve never been able to believe her. I always just thought she was biased or something.” He looks down at the paper again, his thumbs running along the margins reverently. Steve sniffles. “I used to not be a very good person. Used to say things just because I heard them, because I knew they were bad. And it took…God, it took so long to relearn everything. To find myself, to figure out who I was outside of my bigoted family. Even then, I always thought I was just…” He shrugs. “I thought that I was destined for a lifetime of loneliness or something because nobody wanted to be around me. Because they thought I was one way, when I was really the other. Or they could only see me as I was, not who I am.”

Steve looks up to Eddie again. There are tear streaks down his cheeks. Wet and glistening in the little bit of light breaking through the clouds. With the sunlight on him, he’s even brighter than Eddie anticipated. It’s sort of unfair, too, how beautiful he is even when he cries.

“Thank you for this, Eds,” Steve quietly says, “you have no idea how much this means to me.”

“You wanted to feel better about your world. I wanted to show you something that’s changed mine, I suppose.” Eddie sits slumped in his stool, hands between his knees, pulling and twisting at his rings. He chews on his bottom lip. “And I meant what I said earlier, Stevie. You seem like a really nice guy. A good guy.”

Slowly, and oh so gently, Steve places a tentative hand to Eddie’s left forearm. His gaze has softened, sweetened. He’s smiling this small, appreciative, pleased thing. And Eddie can already feel the sun burn developing. “You are, too. Really, Eds. You have no idea what your art does for the world, who you’re helping.” His thumb absentmindedly is stroking over Eddie’s skin. Hand heavy and warm and firm, comforting. Grounding. Sustaining Eddie. “If you meant the other thing you said earlier, I’d like to get something with you at that cafe. I’d like to get to know you.”

“Stevie, you’d be doing me an honor. Just let me pack up here, yeah?” He pulls away, hesitantly, unfortunately. And he begins to collapse all his equipment. Putting the typewriter in its case. The stools folded neatly under his arm.

“Oh, let me pay you first before you put—“

“Don’t worry about that. I’m getting a nice lunch date and a beautiful guy out of this, I don’t need the money.”

Steve grunts. He pops a hip out, crosses his arms over his chest with the poem still carefully held in his grip, and pouts. Eddie kind of likes that he’s a bit bitchy, too. Good guys can have fun, too. “Fine,” Steve huffs. “Let me pay for the lunch, though. My treat.”

Eddie gently rolls his eyes and smirks. “You’ve got a little spice to you, sunshine. I like that. Burn me up and maybe I’ll write more about you.”

“Keep it in your pants, Eds. We haven’t even left the park.”

“No promises.”

📝————————📝 Thank you again for this prompt, it was a lot of fun <33

[jungle-angel]

The Bookworms' Nest (Bob Floyd x Reader)

Summary: You and Bob love and adore your students at the high school you both teach at, but in the deepest parts of winter, your little nest at home is the coziest pace it's ever been

Tagging: @bobfloydsbabe @bradshawsbaby I hope you guys are ok with how this came out and I do apologize in advance, those gifs of Lew holding the baby in Lessons in Chemistry did things to me (lol)

"Alright guys make sure the chairs go up, floors are swept and that your stuff is all put away," Bob announced. "And Jaime, do not leave your main lesson book on the back counter again. I've already found two back there and this room is getting cleaned this weekend."

Early school closures were always chaotic, even for the high school. Already, Bob could hear the kiddos in the lower grades making their way out to the dirt parking lot to catch the buses or to hitch a ride home with their parents.

"Elen, Jenny, John and Deshawn, you guys come with me," Bob said to the four waiting kids at the back. "Your parents already called and said I could give you guys a ride home."

"You sure Mr. Floyd?" Deshawn asked.

"Positive," Bob answered.

The four went straight to their lockers in the hallway to get whatever they needed for the long weekend. School had already been canceled for the next day and Monday due to the impending snowstorm which had left parents in a flurry of chaos to come and get the kids from school.

As soon as they had gotten what they needed, Bob led them out to the dirt lot, the five of them all climbing into the truck with their things. Already the snow had begun to fall, the skies having turned an ominous dark silver with a dusting of white all over the school grounds.

"Alright who's first?" Bob asked, pulling out of the lot and turning the corner down the road.

"Me," Jenny chuckled, raising her hand.

Bob switched on the bluetooth in the truck so they could have some music on the ride home. Despite the snow and the down-time, Bob sneakily thought it a good time to review a little bit from the day to keep the thinking skills sharp.

"Alright Deshawn, hit me, what was one of the key points of Harald Haradrada's reign?" Bob asked.

"King Harald opted to make peace with his enemies rather than fight and achieved victory at the battle of Fulford Gate in 1064," Deshawn answered.

"Awesome! Ten points to Gryffindor!" Bob said, high-fiving Deshawn. "Elen, which ruler became a saint when Christianity was brought to Scandanavia?"

"Olaf Tryggvason."

Bob reached back and high-fived her as soon as they stopped at the intersection. He quizzed each of them on the way to their stops, dropping them off and making sure they got into their houses with no problems. Finally, after the last stop, Bob headed back to the home he shared with you.

He parked right in the driveway, gathered his things and headed straight inside, wanting to avoid the cold as much as possible. His cheeks were already red and his feet freezing in his steel toed boots, creeping in through the threads of his jeans and his Carhardt jacket.

Bob made his way through the front door of the old Victorian he shared with you, the fire glowing and crackling away already in the fireplace despite it being close to one in the afternoon. The whole place smelled so good, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg and something fried coming from the kitchen. Only when he heard the obscene growling of his stomach did Bob realize he hadn't eaten that morning, making the cravings even worse.

He poked his head into the kitchen to find you with Auggie, your sweet little baby who had been born just two months before. Bob couldn't get enough of the sight, the tiny little baby in your arms and the softness of your voice as you hushed him back to sleep.

"Well good morning," you chuckled when you saw Bob in the doorway. "Or afternoon, whatever time it may be."

Bob laughed before he drew you in for a kiss, his body cold from having been outside. "Thought you were resting."

"Nope," you told him. "Just because I'm on maternity leave doesn't mean I have to be on bedrest all the time."

Bob smiled and shook his head, setting his bag down on the counter near the coffee maker. He hung his jacket by the storm door and helped you finish off the lunch you had made him, a big plate of eggs, spam, toast, carmelized onions and a steaming mug full of his favorite coffee. As soon as he had eaten, he took Auggie from your arms and went to the living room to warm up, wandering a little by the fireplace while he gently rocked his baby son.

"Shhhh......go back to sleep," Bob murmured softly. "Go back to sleep my lovebug."

His gentle hands had very quickly put Auggie back to sleep and as soon as he was sure, Bob placed him, blanket and all, into the little wicker bassinet near the window, letting him sleep for as long as time would allow. A rather loud meow had startled him, but when Bob looked down it was only Pumpkin, the little black cat you and him had adopted around Halloween.

"Damnit cat, you'll be the death of us yet," Bob chuckled, noticing that the bright pink sticky notes from the library were stuck to her fur.

Pumpkin gave him the cheekiest little cat grin she could have given him before she ran off to the library. Bob left the library door open just a crack in case Auggie awoke suddenly, excited as ever that the two of you got to spend the time in here that you did.

It was a whole mess of different colored chalk scraping across the little wheel-in blackboard, the turning and marking of pages and searching the shelves for books that you two had planned on using in your joint lessons when you were able to return from leave. Your literature class had already finished the Viking Sagas and would soon be starting your Tolkien block, leaving plenty of room to break down the literature that had inspired the books as well as other little details.

"Alright Professor Bob, give me your best," you joked as soon as he had finished the chalk drawing on the board.

"Very well my young padawan," Bob answered, returning the joke. "The realm we see right in the middle of Yggdrasil, the world of men is known as Midgard or, as the Anglo Saxons put it Middangeard, would roughly translate in today's English as 'Middle Earth'."

One again the familiar meowing of the cat caught him off guard, startling Bob as the cat curled around his legs. "Damnit! Pumpkin, get outta here!" he ordered.

The slinky black cat jumped right onto his desk and lay right down, rolling in the pile of bright pink sticky notes Bob had in a messy pile, the adhesive sticking to her fur.

"Swear to God, it's a wonder that cat hasn't given me a heart attack yet," he mumbled.

"Me too, now lets get back to business," you chuckled.

"Not without a kiss first sweetheart," Bob insisted.

You laughed as Bob kissed you, continuing his little mini lecture on the mythological origins of Tolkien's works while the snowstorm raged outside, but your home warm and cozy just as it had always been.

[goomy-where-they-shouldnt-be]

HELLO!!!! ⭐(≧∇≦)/``🌙

I'm Aurora!!! She/her, I'm 19!!! I'm currently living in Unova, but I LOVE traveling!!! This is mostly a gimmick blog for my Goomy (Goober) but my posts will be infrequent, and I'll probably end up going radio silent for weeks at a time, so I apologize in advance!!!! ⭐(ᗒᗣᗕ)՞🌙

Some more info about me!!! ⭐(⌒∇⌒)🌙 I love space!!! I'm a big big space nerd, I love it so much!!! Ive got a lovely lovely boyfriend whome i adore with all my heart <333 I don't do pokemon battles, but I love hearing about people's stories with their pokemon and stuff!!! I love music!!! I'm not sure what else to put here, haha ⭐(*^▽^*)ゞ🌙

✨My Tags!!!!✨

#goomy where they shouldnt be [for my main tag!!!]

#goober the goomy [posts about Goober outside of the main tags!!!]

#aurora posting [personal posting tag!!! For my own thoughts and stuff!!!]

#rb bin [reblogs!!!]

#ask box [asks I get!!!]

All cw/tw tags will be labeled as "#tw/cw [blank]"!!!

✨PELIPPER MAIL IS ON!!!✨

//ooc!!!! Haiii its Mun @ghostspokebloggin again!!! This is a lighthearted gimmick blog, but with that being said: THINGS MIGHT GET META. I don't want to spoil anything, and if things DO get meta, I will start tagging things as unreality, however I try to keep things silly with her. She's a very lighthearted lady!!!

//ok that's all. Here's her playlist!!! :D

[officialclangen]

Hello! I'd like to preface my question with a couple things: One, I know this is a randomizer game and not to make perfect custom clans! I dont intend this question to come off as a complaint to that nature, just something i was curious/hopeful for. Two, I attempted to look through the blog to see if there was a post already asking something like this, but Tumblr hates me and keeps sending me back to the top or shows me nothing when I search tags, sobI apologize if this is an ask youve already gotten! Three, LOVE this game so much, like genuinely, yall are doing fantastic, this isnt a complain or a pressure to do this sort of thing.

Okay so my question is: Is there any plans for minigames? Particularly something that allows you to view any combination of outlines/colors/patterns/etc? Not as a 'create a custom cat to put in your game' way but just a way to see interesting combinations.

Tysm for your time in advance!

Hello!

One of our senior contributors, Key, developed something like what you're describing :) it can be found on our discord! It probably won't be included in the main game, but it's a mod you can download!

Hope this helps!

~Chase

[unforth]

How to Use Tags on Tumblr

I frequently see people tag their works things along the lines of “sorry I don’t know how to tag,” and I also frequently see people tag badly while at least appearing to know what the fuck they’re doing, so it’s been on my mind to write up a post like this for a while, and with the influx of Twit-ugees, now is as good a time as any I suppose.

Advance warning that I’m the most long-winded bitch up in this place and just neurodivergent enough to never know how much to cut/what details don’t matter so apologies that this just goes on and on and I just hope that if you bear with me you’ll learn a thing or four.

Also note that any time I say "A thing will work this specific way" that is always subject to Tumblr's spontaneous habit of breaking and I can never guarantee that things will actually work at any given moment.

(this is fucking 5,000 words about using tagging on this blue webbed site so. Read more it is.)

Tagging 101

Okay, I’m gonna start at absolutely baby, sorry. The first thing you need to know is where tags go. You don’t tag in the “type text here” box where you’re talking about whatever. This isn’t like twitter, where if I start going hey everyone I’m writing a post about how to #tag things on #tumblr, everyone will see it if they go to #tag and #tumblr. Nope, you gotta put your tags in the box thingy at the bottom if you want people to actually see them when they use tag-search-related options.

You can write #whatever in the body of your post til the cows come home and it won’t do jack shit unless you put it in that bottom #add tags box. So. Do that.

Once you know how to tag, the two most important things to know about tags are:

1. Anyone can see your tags. Everyone can see your tags. Not just your followers. Not just OP. Any random stranger who pokes around in a post can see them, AND they’ll appear in the OPs “new activity” notifications, AND they'll be in the "view all reblogs with comments and tags" button that anyone can select, AND, if it’s an original post and you’re the OP, they’ll appear in the searchable tags on Tumblr. Like. Seriously. We can all see you. So always bear in mind that anything you say in a tag is subject to public scrutiny.

2. If you use a tag on an original post, your post will appear in that tag search. Anyone can search by tag in Tumblr. You go to that bar up top…(note that I’m using MDZS as my example for this post, but you can easily substitute your fandom of choice). (Reblogs that use a tag do NOT, EVER, appear in the tag searches.) So yeah, you're searching for a tag...

…and you get three types of search results. The first, with the #, shows the tag-ified version of your search, and clicking that will take you directly to tag search (and therefore show you posts that have that tag, and specifically exactly that tag - if you go to #mdzs, you won’t see #mdzs fanart, because tag search is narrowly defined). The magnifying-glass marked searches are common and related searches, and will show you posts that have those words in their text AND in the tags, so a magnifying-glass search for MDZS will show you things tagged mdzs, and also #mdzs fanart, and any random-ass post that includes mdzs anywhere in the main text or tags. You’ll get a lot (and you’ll have the chance to narrow that search by top posts vs. latest posts, recent vs. ever, type of post - as in picture vs. text vs. video etc., etc., though note that these searches are always busted and always lean heavily toward recent stuff). If you know you want the tag, you can click #mdzs, but even if you go to search instead (for example, if you just hit “enter” it’ll take you to search, not the tag), you can still see related tags:

Now, see how that says 21k followers? On Tumblr, you can follow tags! Anyone can follow tags! Popular tags often have tens-of-thousands, and occasionally hundreds-of-thousands, of followers! What exactly following a tag means depends on how any given individual sets up their feed, but for many people it means that random posts from that tag will appear on their timeline. Which means that if you tag your original posts (NOT reblogs - this applies to posts for which you are the originator) with a given tag, anyone who visits that tags and/or follows that tag can see it and might even have your post appear on their feed even if neither of you knows or follows the other. 

Anyone who visits a given tag will be able to see your post (or, well, almost anyone - a. if you have them blocked or they have you blocked, they won’t see - though if you block a main blog/side blog, and they post from a different side blog, you CAN still see - if you really want to block someone you’ll need to block all their alts too, which is often a challenge since people tend not to be super public about their alts; b. if the tag is in the last 5 allowed tags on a post - more on that later - it won’t show up, uh, basically anywhere, good luck with that; c. if the tag search is broken, which it basically always is at least a little, welcome to our duct-taped hellsite enjoy your stay).

If you want people to see your post, this functionality is fantastic! It gives you a lot of ways to get your content out there. If you don’t want people to see your post…well. It is absolutely critical that you understand that there is absolutely nothing private about tags, and that even though we all frequently clown in tags, you need to be aware of the potential consequences of that clowning, namely that people will see you clowning, including complete strangers, and so you might not want to clown quite that hard. 

Personal Blog Organization

But, I hear you say, I want to organize my own blog! If I don’t tag my mdzs posts #mdzs to avoid everyone seeing them because I Don't Want That, how will I find them when I want them later?

Well, first, don’t expect to ever be able to find things easily on Tumblr, lmao. We do have search and tag organization options (more later!) but in the end always assume things you post might become unfindable; if you really want to be sure you can find something again, find another way to store it (I personally keep “things I don’t want to lose” in drafts; some people also use likes, or private side blogs).

That said, this is one of the main reasons a lot of people use personal tags to denote their own content. For example, if I want to post something but I don’t want it to spread too far, I will avoid using the fandom tags and stick to my personal blog organization tags. I personally use “unforth rambles” for my “whatever the fuck this is” kind of posts, “whine whine whine” if I’m complaining, “unforth writes” for my fiction, etc. Lots of people have a personal tag, and not only do they make it easier for you to find your own stuff, they also make it easier for other people to find your stuff.

Want to post about mdzs, want to be able to find it again, but don’t want it in the tag? Try “yourname’s mdzs thoughts” or something similar.

Do you create a thing, and want people to be able to actually find it if they come to your blog, instead of it getting buried under a billion other reblogs and shitposts? Try “yourname art” or “my yourfandom fic” or whatever. Trust me, as someone who routinely tries to find art on people’s blogs? People who have specific tags make it much, much easier, and believe it or not I guarantee there is SOMEONE out there who’d like to be able to interact with your stuff more easily, and if you make it impossible you’ll never even know they wanted to.

Likewise, of course, a personal tagging system can make things utterly unfindable cause sometimes that’s Goals. Take this knowledge and use it as you will.

Aside to the above: queue tags. If you’re on Tumblr for more than 5 minutes you’ll see that a lot of posts have tags like “my queue” or, more often, ridiculous “queue”-related pun tags (when I used to use one, it was “#q hoo hoo”). Why do people do this? Well, there’s surely a lot of reasons, but as far as I know the main one (my own reason, at least), was pretty simple: Tumblr has a messaging system, and a lot of us use it, and if we post something, people will think we’re online and might message us and then get upset that we don’t answer. Using a queue tag makes it very clear “this posted when I wasn’t actually present.” Then, you can (like me) go back to ignoring your messages for days and pretend you haven’t been on Tumblr until you’ve actually got the whatever to answer them.

ETA: it's been pointed out that, depending on what search settings someone is using, using "my thing tag" may still show up in searches, so if your goal is to keep your posts out of the main tags, you'd be better served to avoid using the same full text as the common tag(s).

Tag Limits

It’s also important to know that you don’t have unlimited tags, and they can’t be of unlimited length. Tags have a character limit (...I never remember how much it is, though, maybe 200-something?) and you can’t have more than thirty tags on a post. Conventional wisdom is that if an important tag (such as a fandom tag or character tag that you WANT people to be able to find) isn’t in the first ten tags, it won’t appear in search, though I’ve definitely seen things in tag search that had the tag farther down than that. That said, if you put anything in between Tag 25 and Tag 30, don’t expect to ever be able to find it again. Trust me. I’ve tried. Tag 25 to Tag 30 are a tag black hole, and anything in that range might as well not exist because it won’t be searchable. (Sometimes - but only sometimes - search will be able to find things in that hole, subject to all the bugs that normally make search nigh unusable). Note that on mobile, at least, Tumblr yells at you if you try to tag more than 30; on desktop I honestly don’t know if it does cause I always use XKit reblog features instead, lmao. (more on that later!)

A couple other tag limits include:

1. various punctuation breaks tags, though which has varied over time. For example, currently if you try to make a tag with quotes (#I told him “shut up”) you will NOT get a tag that says that, you’ll get two tags: #shut up and #i told him. And, they’ll be in that order - the tag in quotation marks will end up first, before anything else. For a long time, hyphens also just absolutely murdered tags; theoretically they fixed that recently though in practice I’ve noticed it being hit-and-miss, so if you want to be sure things work well don’t use a hyphen. Further, at least on desktop, a comma tells it “this is the end of the tag” so if you enter a comma it won’t put in a comma it’ll just end your tag and take you to the next one. Honestly, if you want to be sure that your tag doesn’t break your best bet is to stick to…not. Forget grammar. Surrender to the void. People will figure out what you mean…or they won’t. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We never said this was a great site but you’re stuck with us now, lmao.

2. you can’t edit tags. They recently teased that they’d introduce tag editing, but at least as far as I’ve been able to tell it’s never actually been unrolled, or maybe it’s only been unrolled to some users (we often only get features for some folks, or only on mobile or only on desktop…). An addendum to this is the simple rule that no matter how careful you are you will inevitably make a typo in your last word, often the last letter, right before you hit enter. I’m sorry. It’s a law of nature. On the plus side everyone knows that tags can’t be edited so no one’s going to care if your spelling is janky. (ETA: just to be clear, since it was pointed out in the notes: you CAN delete a tag and retype it. so, it's up to you if you feel like doing that. I meant you can't go back and edit the text entered as a tag, you can only delete it and make a new tag)

Censoring Tags

Do not censor tags. ESPECIALLY trigger warnings. Sometimes people will censor letters intentionally so things won't turn up in the tag search options (for example, if they're saying something negative), and while I think that's valid I also think there are better ways to handle it (like just use a different fucking tag). But if you censor tags, and especially if you censor warning tags, you make it MUCH HARDER for people to consistently blacklist. Just call things what they are (except n s f w - more later), and tag accurately (so if you want to post anti use "anti thing" tags instead of censoring), and make it possible for people to ACTUALLY avoid things and blacklist. Please. I'm begging you.

Finding the Tag for The Thing You Want

Often, finding a relevant tag can be super easy, especially if what you like is common. If you’ve been in online fandom at all, even on other platforms or forums or wherever, you likely already are familiar with common abbreviations for The Thing, and those are usually a great place to start (for example, #mdzs, #mcu for Marvel movies, #spn for Supernatural, #lotr for Lord of the Rings, etc.). However, since people do often use multiple tags (like, they may tag #mdzs AND #mo dao zu shi, AND #grandmaster of demonic cultivation, AND #gdc) you can always try putting in The Full Name For The Thing, and then seeing what tags are on the posts that pop up. Then, once you see that, you can click through a few and check them out. Every tag’s page will have a box like this:

…and it says right there how often the tag has been used “recently” (no, I have literally NEVER figured out how “recently” is…recently). If you want to find the most popular tags for a given fandom, the easiest way is to just poke around in the tags people are using and see which ones have the biggest number in that “XXX recent posts” box. Those are the ones people love and use, and emulating them will lead you in the right direction (assuming you want people to be able to find your stuff).

On the other hand, what if you like something rare, something obscure, something that doesn’t have a consistent naming structure, etc.?

That can get a little harder, but the challenges can be cut through fairly easily.

1. search for every variation of The Thing that you can think of and look through the results until you find The Thing You Actually Wanted.

2. see how that post is tagged.

3. check those tags for more of The Thing You Actually Wanted.

4. keep doing this until you find the tag where people who are into The Thing You Actually Wanted congregate.

5. winning!

Creating Tags and Space

…okay but what if that last step 5 ended with losing instead? Well, BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.

A lot of people on Tumblr use personal tags for their own blog organization…but many also use tags and tag-tracking to create a personal tag meant for publis use. So, source blogs (blogs that act as “clearing houses” of stuff for a specific fandom, character, ship, etc.) will say “we track #thisisourhashtag, use it so we can see your post!”

You can do that! If you really love something narrow and specific, you can at least try to get the word out. It takes a lot of work though - because you’ll need to get the word out yourself. “Hey, I love This Obscure Thing! Do you also love This Obscure Thing? Come join me, use #thisisyourhashtag!” is a start. But just “building it” won’t be enough - you’ll also need to do the leg work to find more of The Thing, reblog it, interact with the people making it, etc. Often on Tumblr, the difference between a really vibrant small fandom community and a small fandom that’s absolutely dead silent is one person taking the initiative to say “I’m going to do whatever I have to, community-building-wise, to find other people to talk to about this.”

(The best example I know of for this is the Daomu Biji fandom. Like seriously, they’re a fucking case study on how to take a tiny group of people who are Really Into A Thing and turn it into a vibrant, supportive community that is, frankly, a joy to be a part of. If someone wants more info on kinda…how this works…I think it’s outside the purview of this post but I’m willing to babble about it some other time.)

Navigating Tumblr, Your Own Blog, and Other People’s Blogs Using Tags

One of the cool things about tags on Tumblr is that every tag has a static, usable link, which - if your own blog or a blog you’re trying to access has a consistent tagging format - can make it much, MUCH easier to find things. ESPECIALLY because static tag links constant and consistently work about 80 bajillion times better than “search.” Posts that are unfindable using “search” WILL (usually) be findable using the tag’s link. (Exceptions include if the OP has blocked you or you’ve blocked them, and if the tag is in the 25th, 26th, 27th, 28th, 29th, or 30th tag slot; ETA: another exception is that in the PAST this wasn't the case; Tumblr has greatly increased the visibility of tags over the years, and may do even more in the future). So, how do you do this?

For all of Tumblr: the link you want is https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/(THE TAG)?sort=recent (or ?sort=top for them in order by most popular. Note that this is one of the cases where what’s after the ? ISN’T A TRACKING LINK ffs it’s not ALWAYS tracking you can’t ALWAYS delete it without consequences sometimes the internet is exhausting).

For your own blog: https://yournamehere.tumblr.com/tagged/thetagyouwant

For someone else’s blog: https://theirnamehere.tumblr.com/tagged/thetagyouwant

A lot of people use this for personal blog organization, and it’s especially common for source blogs to have very structured tag lists to help with navigation. For example, in the art sideblogs I run, anyone can look up any tag using links like this, and it’ll enable them to find every post with that tag. See? https://www.tumblr.com/mdzsartreblogs/tagged/mod%20post

NOTE: Tumblr, in the last few weeks, changed how this feature is set up. As you can see, the link is now structured differently than what I typed, BUT the original link formatting still works, just how it appears has changed. That said, because Tumblr can never change a thing without breaking it, there’s now sometimes a problem where if you type the link in, it’ll replace a space ( ) with a plus (+) instead of with a fake-space (%20 is how browsers classically translate spaces into Internet Speak so that the urls don’t break). If your space gets made into a +, Tumblr will say there are no results, so you’ll have to manually go into the link and change it back to a space and THEN it will work. Yes, really. No, I don’t know why. Also, if you try to get rid of the plus in the search bar instead it will NOT work correctly, because if you remove the plus, put in a space, and then hit “enter” on text written in the search bar, it’ll switch you from “show all posts with this tag” to a standard search (which will have all the bugs that standard searches usually have in Tumblr).

But, basically, once you know the tag that someone uses for a thing, or have established what tag YOU want to use for a thing, navigating your own or other people’s blogs to find Every Post Tagged With The Thing is really easy, and can be a great way to find niche content, a user’s own creations, or That Thing You Posted Two Years Ago That You Need Again For Some Reason.

ETA: Someone mentioned in the tags that if you add /chrono to the end of these links, it'll show you all the same info BUT it'll show the OLDEST posts firsts instead of the newest and I did not know that and that is A.MAY.ZING and thank you to the person who told me and now y'all know too.

Blacklisting Tags

You’ll see me talk a lot in this post about the ways that Tumblr is broken and how that can make it harder to accomplish whatever it is you’re trying to do. There is one notable exception to the brokenness. At least in my experience, and in the experience of basically everyone I’ve ever spoken to about it, Tumblr’s internal/built in blacklist works pretty darn well.

Don’t want to see a tag?

Go to Account Stuff -> Settings. Scroll down to “Content you see,” which is where Filtered Tags and Filtered Post Content are.

Filtered Tags will only filter The Thing if it’s literally #the exact tag you put in filtered tags.

Filtered Post Content will filter any post that mentions the thing.

Note that Tumblr blacklist is actually over assiduous. I personally ONLY use filtered tags, and I’ve found that it will often filter a post even if the current reblog of that post doesn’t HAVE the tag - like, if anyone has EVER tagged The Post with The Thing, it’ll get blacklisted. Also note that while theoretically, filtered posts will still show up as a box you have the option to show, in practice some will just. Not show. I’ve absolutely had blacklisted things just Not Even Appear. Which can be annoying, if it’s actually a post you want to see, but there’s no perfect system.

Also, never EVER let anyone tell you that “blacklisting is only for things you hate.” Look, you curate your own experience. If your bestie is posting about a fandom you’re not in, and it’s clogging up your dash, you’re not obligated to scroll through their 80 posts about that thing. Just blacklist it. It’ll make your experience using this website much happier. (if your bestie doesn’t tag the thing…you can try post content filtering. But yeah that’ll make it harder). I personally blacklist a fuckton of fandoms that I’ve got nothing against, I’m just not IN them, and seeing content for them is of zero interest for me, and if I blacklist them then I have more time to interact with the things I DO want to see.

And yeah I know I prefaced this section by saying blacklist actually works. Take this entire section as what my ten-years-on-this-site ass sees as “functional” on Tumblr.com.

Making Tumblr Actually Vaguely Useable

Do yourself a favor and download XKit. (It’s on Chrome too, but fuck Chrome. Y’all Chrome users can go find the link yourself sorry not sorry). XKit includes a fuckton of REALLY DAMN USEFUL functionality for making tumblr (on desktop, not mobile!) function better…

…and especially, Quick Reblog, Quick Tags, and Tag Replacer can help with tagging and tag management. Quick Reblog gives you the ability to rapidly reblog things without having to click through to the reblog window, and it gives you a box to type in all your tags when you quick reblog. Quick Tags makes all existing posts on your blog and sideblogs have an extra little button that lets you add new tags to it without having to open the edit screen for the post. Tag Replacer lets you swap a tag you no longer want to use for a new tag. Get XKit. It’ll help you. I promise.

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Okay, so now you know something about how tags work, time to learn some tag etiquette.

The most important thing to remember when trying to figure out how to tag an original post is that people follow tags because they want to see The Things About That Tag. This has some obvious consequences, namely:

1. They won’t want to see things that Aren’t About The Thing.

2. They won’t want to see someone Hating The Thing.

So that leads to…

Tagging for Fandoms

DO: tag fandoms that are relevant to your post. Feel free to tag variations on that fandom - you can tag #mdzs and #modao zushi and #mo dao zu shi, or #spn and #supernatural. No one will mind.

DON’T: tag fandoms that aren’t relevant to your post. Yes, even if it’s a fandom by the same author (looking at you, people who tag #mdzs, #tgcf, and #svsss on every mxtx post you make, I see you and I seethe). Yes, even if it’s a different version/adaptation of your work. If you create a sub-fandom-specific work (for example, to stick with MDZS for now, if you create a work for The Untamed that includes the Yin Iron, don’t tag it MDZS; there’s no Yin Iron in MDZS, and while yes some people who follow the MDZS tag will want to see it, there will also be plenty who don’t. This is especially true when there’s a popular adaptation that a lot of fans of the original don’t like. People who adore the BOOK of the Hobbit? May be pretty reticent about seeing things about the MOVIE if they didn’t enjoy it!) Try to maintain awareness of this; it’s courtesy not to just tag Every Vaguely Relevant Fandom. You won’t make people happy they’re seeing your stuff. You’ll make them annoyed that you spammed irrelevant tags.

Tagging for Ships and Characters

DO: tag the characters ships that feature in your work. Doing variations of their name is fine as long as those variations are relevant. So, if you make a piece of “wei wuxian” for example, you can absolutely tag that “wei wuxian” and “weiwuxian” and “wei ying” and “weiying” and “mdzs wei wuxian” etc. But.

DON’T: tag every single iteration of a character. If someone is following a tag for a specific variation of a character (to stick with MDZS, maybe they follow the “yiling laozu” tag) then they want to see that variation, not…NOT that variation. So don’t post your, idk, fluffy Lotus Pier Wei Ying pre-canon thing to the “yiling laozu” tag. And I know this sounds like gibberish to people not in this fandom, but like. Just extend it to your own fandom. Lots of characters have different fandom nicknames or self-presentations for themselves at different points in canon. People who specifically follow the "pre-serum steve" tag isn't going to want to see "post-serum steve." That's the entire point of following a specific tag instead of an over-arching tag. So, when you tag your original stuff, stick to the ones that actually have something to do with your piece. 

DO: tag the ship in your piece in multiple ways. Like, to use a non-MDZS example, does your piece have Destiel? Go ahead and tag Destiel and CasDean and DeanCas. It’s okay. WITH THE ADDENDUM THAT: in some fandoms and in some parts of the world, it is common that writing Character A x Character B is actually NOT the same as writing Character B x Character A. Especially for East Asian and Southeast Asian fans, people often list them in a power-dynamic related order. Whether you think that’s a good thing or not (I personally think it’s a silly but whatever, they can do them, it doesn't effect me) is irrelevant; you need to understand that if you tag every order of a ship, you might have people ??? you over it. (Yes, really. It’s happened to me.) And that doesn’t mean don’t do it! Just. You should know. Knowledge is power. Or something.

DON’T: tag ships that aren’t in your piece. I don’t care if Wangxian is the most popular ship in the fandom; if your piece doesn’t show Wangxian, people who like Wangxian don’t need to see it in the tags. You’re doing no one any favors. Often people will say “if your piece doesn’t feature a ship PROMINENTLY don’t include it,” but that one imo is a bit more flexible. It depends on what your work is “doing” with that ship. Which leads to…

Sharing Your Negative Opinions

Please. For the love of fucking god. Do NOT post hate in the main tags. Yes, it’s just your opinion. Yes, you are absolutely entitled to your opinion. But it’s fucking rude. People go to tags because they enjoy the thing being tagged. You’re just being a dick if you therefore use that tag to shit all over that thing.

Now, this is NOT to say “don’t post negative shit,” but rather more importantly: if you want to tag negative shit, find the tag that people use to tag that specific negative shit and use that tag instead. Like. if you hate Jiang Cheng from MDZS (you’re wrong and I will block you) you do you! But don’t tag your hate #jiang cheng. People follow #jiang cheng because they LOVE the angry grape. Instead, do a little tag research (see above on how to find tags for That Thing You Like, and yes it applies even if it’s “That Thing You Like to Hate”) and find out what tags people who Hate The Thing use. Often just “anti (thing)” is a good start, though commonly the biggest groups of haters/"popular" anti opinions will have a tag they favor that’s different (for example, “canon jiang cheng” and "grape hate" are the common anti-Jiang Cheng tags; “destiew” is a commonly used anti-Destiel tag, I’m sure there are loads more but those are the ones that spring to my mind after a decade on this hellsite).

Using an anti tag is a MUCH better way to handle your hate, anti-ness, negative opinions, etc. You can find other haters to wallow with, and everyone else (like me) who just want to enjoy our shit in peace can do so. And like, I’m personally very against antis, but I also absolutely respect the right of people to have negative opinions AND to share those negative opinions, which is why I’m explaining this. It really does help like-minded people come together, and also enables people who want to avoid the vitriol protect themselves. It’s a win-win.

Tagging Trigger Warnings and Other Warnings

Tagging triggers and other potentially challenging material (such as flashing images) is a courtesy. It’s not required, but it’s certainly polite. There are some standard rules (for example, don’t use “tw epilepsy” because it’ll show up on epilepsy-related searches which is the exact opposite of the point of tagging it; tag “tw flashing” or something similar) but there’s generally NOT a “one size fits all” tag system. Instead, most people just establish their own system and make it clear somewhere “this is the system I use” so people can blacklist. Alternatively, you can see what tags your mutuals are using, and use those. Alternatively, alternatively, people will sometimes put “please tag X tw” in their pinned posts or bios - though always remember that there are risks involved in publicly advertising what someone with bad intentions can do to hurt you!!!!

Standard trigger warning formats on Tumblr include: “tw thing,” “thing tw,” “thing,” “thing for ts,” “cw thing,” “thing cw.” 

Note that tw - “trigger warning” - is usually used for things that are likely to be triggering (such as blood, gore, etc.) whereas cw - “content warning” - is often used more for things that some people may want to be aware of (such as flashing or depictions of food) but that isn’t necessarily a common “trigger” per se, especially in cases like food where even calling food a trigger can often itself be triggering for people who have are recovering from ED-related challenges.

Also as an aside, the “ts” is generally a sign that someone is a Tumblr Old, as it stands for “Tumblr Savior,” which is a blacklisting extension a lot of us used before Tumblr had built-in blacklisting features. So if you see “long post for ts” (which is when I see it most) it’s like seeing a fossil, a tag that’s become so standard for a type of post that a lot of people still use it even though the use of Tumblr Savior isn’t very common anymore (at least…I don’t think it is???)

When in doubt, if you want to respect people, listen to them - see how people are tagging The Thing you’re worried about, and follow those tagging conventions. Don’t reinvent the wheel if you don’t have to - someone who triggers to something will already have the most commonly used tags for it blacklisted (and may not follow you if you aren’t willing to also tag for it) - so you make the site more usable for everyone if you use “tw eye trauma” instead of “this is my personal eye trauma tw tag”.

Also also as another aside, don’t use n s f w. Don’t even type it in your posts. They’ll get buried. They’ll go where tumblr posts go to die, and none of us even know where that is, because they're that gone. They won’t appear in regular searches. They won’t be in tag searches. They won’t even be discoverable on your own blog. Yes it’s fucking annoying. Yes it makes it harder to avoid explicit material. But. Find another tag. “lemon” is a common one, as is “nsft” (not safe for tumblr).

Tagging Systems and Spoilers

For the most part, if anything has been out for a month or so, you should assume that no one will tag spoilers. Don’t get me wrong - a minority of people still will, definitely! - but if, for example, you’re in the first chapter of MDZS, and you don’t want MDZS spoilers…don’t go into the MDZS tags. Just don’t. You’ll see everything you don't want to see. (Unless like me you WANT to see spoilers, in which case HAVE AT.)

For fandoms that still have new content being released, spoiler tags are often determined by community consensus, and a lot of people will put up posts saying “this blog isn’t spoiler-free for Thing. Blacklist #spoilersforthething to avoid spoilers.” It’s generally fairly standard to have a spoiler tag be “#thing spoilers” or “#episodenumber spoilers.” When in doubt, yet again, look at what everyone else is doing and emulate that.

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hoookay. 2.5 hours after I started writing this, I am finally done. I hope folks find it helpful, and hopefully I didn't miss anything obvious. Feel free to hmu with asks if you want to know more!

[loveyoukohane]

TELL ME ABOUT UR OC 💪💪💪🔥🔥🔥

WAIT WHICH ONE?????? (I have like 12)

Were doing all of them idc

SO I have 3 main unit groups called NEO*fantasy, exile-d (my main one rn) and Day*Dream!! I posted basic intros to all the characters and there units which i think you can find because i tag them all with #pjsk oc but if you don't want to read all of my yaping i totally understand so here are some summaries. (i apologize in advance for clogging up your feed)

NEO*FANTASY is an EDM and DJ based unit. It is made up of Kyo Yamauchi the leader and lead singer, Akemi Fukuhara the VJ and artist, Mimi Sasaki the choreographer, and Haruto Kobayashi the DJ.

Instead of them being in high school they are all in the last year of middle school 14-ish years old

exile-d is a unit made by Sora, an idol/music producer who needs a band to stay relevant and his manager Hiro or HERO. Their music is a gothic metal/j rock mix with a bit of visual kei inspiration as well.

The group is made up of Sora Yugeta the producer and bassist, Kenta Kato the guitarist and vocalist, Tsumugi Yamada the keyboardist, Yon Kimura the drummer. Kenta is the unit leader but Sora is the actual leader of the band.

Day*Dream is a live performance based unit made up of Mika Hanata the vocalist/lyricist, Reina Fukuhara the instrumentalist, Tomori Nakamura the choreographer, and Seria Yoshida the composer. Their music is made to free themselves from the rules that society and themselves have put on them. Its has an indescribable feeling to it and I don't really know a genre I could use to describe it sorry…)

i also have a few units in the works and a few npc but these are just quick summaries of the units so no need to get into all of that...

once again THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING THIS TOTALLY MADE MY DAY *sobs* hope this was what you were looking for [^o^]

[annasinterests]

don't look at me like that unless you mean it

run in the shadows ♫ damn your love, damn your lies

|| series masterlist || main masterlist ||

a/n: hey hey heyyyyy my loves! been a minute but i'm super pumped (and scared) to be putting out this chapter, at first i really struggled in deciding which direction i wanted it to go, but am pretty content with how it turned out! this is also my first time ever writing smut so i am apologizing in advance for.. everything . also, i imagine joel smelling like tommy bahama maritime deep blue and 1 million cologne by paco rabanne, so that's referenced in here cuz honestly they're just soooo 🥵🤤 alright, enough outta me- love y'all, enjoy! <3

a/n update: y'all i'm so dumb i put this out like an hour ago and was wondering why it was so dead and then i saw i didn't put FUCKING. TAGS. bruv.

word count: 6.1k (woo baby!)

pairings: joel miller x f!reader

warnings & tags: minors dni, implied hangover, reflection of bad decisions on readers part, cursing, denial is a river in egypt, mutual pining, smut!!!, fingering, lil sweet talk n' pet names, p in v, the slowburn is slowly burning folks — please tell me if i missed anything!

It wouldn’t be wrong to say that you were feeling some resentment towards the younger Miller for the recent days, and he certainly wasn’t making it any better by deliberately scheduling you two together on your first day back on.

Your name was scribbled in shitty writing next to his instead of.. well, you know who. You puffed out a frustrated sigh, biting your lip as you closed your eyes to quell the irritation that was already simmering during the early hour.

It was like a series of blows, one right after the other.

When you opened your eyes after Joel kissed you the other night, he was gone without a word. And if you hadn’t heard the click of his door closing again, you’d almost believe that the entire encounter was a product of your alcohol-laden imagination.

But it was real.

It was real in the way that it’d been the last thing you remembered before flopping into bed and the first regret you thought of the morning after. Throughout the hours that followed, the room seemed to stretch into eternity, spinning around you as you lay there, caught in a daze induced by alcohol, or maybe Joel, or perhaps the potent combination of both.

Morning found you sprawled atop the bed covers in the same clothes from the night before with a headache pounding at your temples, making you claw for a pillow to shield your face from the harsh sunlight filtering through the blinds. Even long after Joel’s awakening and departure for his shift, you remained ensconced in bed. The stillness of the house had been interrupted by the resonating thuds of his footsteps on the creaky wooden floors as he executed his routine; shuffling in his room for a bit, then descending downstairs to clank around some glasses and dishes, and then the forceful closure of the front door, ushering in silence once more.

Hours passed before you eventually emerged from your room, trudging downstairs to scrounge up sustenance from whatever you could find. The meager offerings weren’t the two proper meals that the day should’ve already seen, but they sufficed as something.

To say you felt like trash was an understatement, it plagued your body and mind. Playing Samson against Joel had been a risky move, one that was initially successful but terribly backfired into a mess, your moral compass lost in the haze of it all. Despite you drunkenly flirting, kissing, and saying misleading things, sober you knew none of it held true. You wouldn’t actually give any man the chance, unless it was him. Nonetheless, your actions tarnished your conscience, for you knew it probably meant something to someone.

Joel had remained an enigma. He was the one you saw first, he started it. He had the chance to leave with that woman, yet he didn’t, even after her provoking comment that made it sound like he was interested in doing so. No, instead, he glared at you like an enemy. And then after all the pointless arguing, he fucking kissed you, and then left you.

So, yeah, the entirety of the day was spent feeling dirty and wallowing in the aftermath of your own destruction.

And today wasn’t going much better by any means. So far, at least.

Brisk in your steps, you walked to the stables and gathered up your gear for the day, dread wrapping its tendrils around every aspect of your impending shift. Leading your horse to the gate, you impatiently awaited the arrival of the rest of the patrol group. You occupied yourself by tending to your horse’s coat and securing every strap and cord visible, performing thorough inspections on your packs to ensure supplies and ample ammunition for all your weapons.

Little by little, people started to show up, which somehow only triggered you to be even more impatient. You threw glances that served enough as a greeting to those that turned up, finding it best to just keep to yourself. Your veneer of detachment wavered momentarily as Samson arrived and gave you a smile that felt more obligatory than genuine as it failed to reach his eyes, and you quickly averted your attention back to your horse, cheeks burning as snippets from the night looped through your mind at the most inconvenient moment.

You’d been resolutely keeping your eyes lowered, so much so that you failed to register Joel’s arrival alongside Tommy. Only when Tommy’s voice sliced through the small talk did you raise your head, finally paying attention.

“Alright now, y’all know the drill. Eyes up, be safe. Don’t take no unnecessary risks an’ watch each other’s backs.”

His raised a finger and flicked his wrist, prompting the guards to swing open the gate, “Let’s go.”

Swiftly mounting your horse, you joined the procession, observing as they paired up and set off. You had only seen the back of Joel’s figure as he rode off with his partner, holding your gaze on them for a beat longer before steering off to your assigned route, gently guiding the reins as the steed surged to catch up. While you were definitely still annoyed with Tommy, you still maintained a civil demeanor, offering him a subtle nod when he smiled at you.

The well-trodden path stretched before you, one you’d traversed countless times. Your horse seemed to intuitively know the way, leaving you to drift into a distant reverie. Your gaze roved into the distance, resting on nothing in particular– a void for your thoughts to nestle within as the ambient sounds consumed your consciousness. Words remained dormant; your lips scarcely parted, your eyes keen yet affixed to the intangible.

From the moment Tommy laid eyes on you, he sensed something was amiss. His glances shifted from fleeting to lingering as he realized your mind journeyed elsewhere while being right next to him. It was as if you operated on autopilot, a description that aptly captured how you looked and felt. Uncharacteristically unsure of how to connect, he found himself at a loss.

Either way, there was a consequence to this. Conversation was inevitable, the topic destined to surface sooner or later, and in all likelihood, it would culminate in you reproaching him for not minding his business.

“Sure is quiet out here today. Not even a single bird chirpin’.”

A mumbled agreement left your mouth in response. A couple of minutes drifted by before he ventured forth again.

“Y’know, the other night, I-”

Your attention snapped into focus, and you shot him a pointed look, “I don’t want to talk about the other night.”

“Well then you don’t have to talk, just listen, then.”

Annoyance prickled at your nerves. You motioned toward him, your hand landing flat on your thigh while the other clenched around the leather reins, nails digging into the material. You didn’t care for what he had to say, but you recognized your protests would only be a futile endeavor as he’d find a way to voice his thoughts regardless.

“Look, I’m sorry about Samson-”

“Oh yeah? The part where he was the secret set up or..?”

A hand raked through his hair at your interjection, knowing where your line of questioning was heading. “All of it, okay? I didn’t know that you and Joel-”

“There is no me and Joel!” Your words were intensely curt.

Tommy may have been drunk, but there was no denying what he saw in those unguarded moments when you believed the other wasn’t looking. More importantly, what he saw when you did see each other.

Even in his inebriated state, he sought to mend his error by removing Samson from the overall equation with some bullshit excuse, hoping that somehow, someway, a connection would’ve rekindled between you both. However, his brother had a different course in mind, storming home and grumbling under his breath, justifying his abrupt exit to himself with the lateness of the hour and his imminent work commitments the following morning.

Your horses maintained a steady pace, the silence between you pronounced.

“If you say so.” Your words barely had a chance to emerge before he seized the opening, raising a hand to signal he wasn’t done.

“Listen, I know you and Joel got a history– a long one at that– and while I ain’t privy to all the particulars, I’ve got enough sense to know there’s somethin’ goin’ on.”

You shook your head, “Tommy-”

“It ain’t no secret that my brother ain’t the feely type,” he interrupted with a soft chuckle, “hell, m’sure you know that already, but when it comes to you, he’s just..”

His voice trailed as he looked straight on, leaving you to hang on every last word as your heart hammered in your chest. He’s just what?

It was like Tommy had heard your thoughts when he met your gaze again.

“It’s you, or it’s nobody.”

The sentiment left his mouth with ease, like it was just that simple, and you struggled to believe him.

Your mind casted back to the other night– the unhurried, gentle yet unwavering contact you shared just outside his bedroom door. His soft lips pressed against yours in a moment that felt far too short. The slight prickle of his beard against your skin, his fingers nestled in all the right nooks and contours and calloused hands cradling your face with a blend of care and intimacy that only comes from years of knowing.

It’s you, or it’s nobody.

Shaking your head slightly, you dismissed the memory in favor of the present.

“It’s.. not like that.”

You knew your counter was implausible, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to continue arguing. And either he’d gotten out all he wanted to say, or he saw the profound effect his words had on you and decided it was enough, because he didn’t say anything else regarding it.

He cleared his throat in a manner that was clear he was changing the topic, “Once we get up here to the post, I gotta have you switch off with Eugene, alright?”

You arched a brow at him, “Why? Afraid to be my partner for a whole shift?”

“Oh, real funny.” He rolled his eyes before setting them on you again with a more serious undertone, “Maybe.”

A smile appeared on your face for the first time today, though it was small, and he immediately grinned, taking pride in the small victory.

“No– Eugene’s got a lead on that one group, needa’ talk to him about it.”

Fuck.

Your small smile dropped slightly, masking it as an acknowledging reaction. Those documents demanded your attention as soon as possible.

“Fair enough.” You conceded, a hint of your customary demeanor returning to your voice.

The rest of the time getting to Mountain View Lodge passed relatively quickly. The rest of your patrol with Tommy was marked by a lull in conversation, as if a point of equilibrium had been reached after your earlier confrontation. Tethering your horse to its usual discreet and out-of-view spot, you both entered the lodge.

The interior sprawled expansively, its focal point a series of broad windows along a wall– a perfect vantage point for overseeing the valley below, which saw its fair share of infected and raiders. But when it was quiet, it transformed into an ideal haven for relaxation outside of Jackson, its timeworn leather booths circled around fireplaces that proved a comforting companion during the harsh winter months.

Eugene’s greeting garnered a nod and smile from you, and once he and Tommy dove into their own conversation, you dismissed it as unimportant background noise. Directing your attention to the log book, you flipped through its pages and skimmed the entries; straightforward accounts of patrols, punctuated occasionally by Joel or Tommy’s scrawls, often laced with lighthearted banter or aimed at other patrol members, most frequently Mike.

Hooking your thumb under the straps of your pack and sauntering over to the window, you gazed out at the ever-captivating landscape. The prospect of watching over the area for the remainder of the shift didn’t sound too bad. No need to engage in conversation, no pressure to keep an eye on anyone but yourself, and one big ole’ place all to yourself.

“Hey Joel, Tommy’s here, I’m about to head out!”

You spun around to face the two men. Eugene looked in the direction which he called out to, while Tommy’s attention seemed magnetically drawn to the floor, a practiced evasion that didn’t go unnoticed by you. His tendency to omit information from you had become an increasingly noticeable pattern.

Your initially piercing gaze softened into something resembling discomfort as Joel rounded the corner, his eyes locking onto yours. His brisk stride slowed, his posture straightening, and his mouth gaped though no words came out. His eyes remained fixed on you, an unanticipated presence that caught him off guard as much as it did you. His gaze lingered a beat longer before tearing away to address the others in the room who were silently observing the wordless interaction between you both.

Tommy had, once again, displayed his shrewdness; his strategic move to involve a third party designed to preempt your opposition. His plan worked as intended, leaving you limited to a dismissive wave as he and Eugene left, a collective wish for safety in the air. Notably, you caught Tommy’s apologetic smile directed at Joel.

The moment they were out the door, you slung your bag into the open booth and sank down heavily beside it, your back turned to Joel. You paid no mind to his heavy footsteps as you picked through your bag to extract a rag and withdrew your pistol from its holster, rubbing the cloth along the barrel to rid it of dirt and grime and using your fingernails for precision. This would only take so long, and you had a long fucking shift to get through.

The hours passed and not a word was shared. You found yourself cleaning your guns and knife twice over, the repetitive task barely doing anything to take your mind off the only other person in the room. You hadn’t moved from the booth, and he remained rooted wherever he’d taken position, the exact location unknown since you didn’t even look at him. An ache burned into your neck and lower back, and you could feel the blood clotting in your legs from the prolonged sitting. Between the pain, humidity, and his presence, the room felt suffocating, and you needed to get out.

“I’m gonna go take a lap.” Your voice monotone as you stowed your gear into their rightful places, leaving your pack in the booth as you stood and strode towards the door.

“Ain’t much out there.” Joel’s gaze tracked your movements, though you sidestepped looking directly at him, gliding past his seated form.

“Should be a quick one, then.” You countered.

“You know the rules, no roaming– especially alone.” His voice bore a note of warning.

You brushed his caution aside, your steps carrying you closer to the door. “You can keep an eye on me from up here, it’ll be–”

A large hand enclosed around your arm, effectively halting your stride. Your narked expression mirrored his own as you pivoted to face him, his hold firmly asserting itself.

“M’not gonna repeat myself.” His drawl low.

“Then don’t.” You threw the attitude right back in his face, yanking your arm free from his grasp and spinning around to grab the door handle. It had barely opened an inch before he slammed it shut with his palm, gluing his hand to the spot and standing over you.

“Move, Joel.”

“There ain’t no need to go-”

“Oh, fuck off, would you? Gonna fucking trap me in here with you and not say anything to me the whole goddamn time?” Your agitation flared as you stalked off, scanning around for any other opening to leave from– contemplating even heading upstairs just to put the distance between you two.

“Tell me how you really feel, why don’t you?” He goaded as his hand slid down the door and took a few steps in your direction.

“Yeah, like last time? Cause that worked like a real fuckin’ treat.” You scoffed, incredulity lacing your tone. You expected him to shake his head or be dismissive, but he just looked at you intently.

“I-”

“You kissed me, and then left me out to dry!” Your anger evolved into a sardonic grin, his guilt evident as he lowered his eyes. “So, unless that was your way of breaking my heart, then..”

Your voice died on the last word, reiterating the plea you shouted from the other side of the door that night before it happened, your hands falling heavy on your thighs after their emphatic gestures. Where your train of thought was going, you weren’t quite sure, but a palpable ache stirred in your chest and seeped through your entire being as his silence loomed, fearing that you just hit the nail on its head.

Maybe if you walked quick enough, you could slip out the door.

In a split-second decision, you decided to take the chance, the handle just in your reach before his hand wrapped around your arm again.

“Leave me al-”

He caged your body against the door with his own, his hands planted on each side of your head as his large frame towered over you, ducking his head down to capture your lips with own.

When he pulled back, his brown eyes were wide and lust-blown in supplication. His chest heaved with unsteady breaths, a telltale sign that he was teetering on the edge of control and moments away from losing it all. Your eyes raked over every facet that rendered him complete; every wrinkle, scar, and freckle that covered his skin that were once observed from a distance, now before you in sharp focus and transformed into a mosaic of perfection. His plump lips bore a fervent shade of pink, an irresistible invitation to meld your mouth against his once more. An intoxicating scent enveloped your senses, a harmonious dance of notes and undertones of woods and herbs, woven together with astonishing finesse that unveiled a new layer with every passing second.

You closed the distance with desperation to feel him everywhere, kisses becoming more aggressive and invasive, tongues swiping over lips and against each other in begging for more permission. Your fingers tangled in his hair to bring his face impossibly closer to yours, noses pressing into cheeks, and his hands trailing down to your ass and giving you a firm squeeze. You moaned into his mouth when his hard-on brushed your thigh through both your jeans, rolling your hips into him.

Your action pulled a pleasurable groan from his throat, making him cup your thighs and hoist you up to move you elsewhere, your legs wrapping around him instinctively. He placed you both behind the bar and sat you on the counter, moving his mouth down your neck to suck spots and soothe them with his tongue. His hands splayed across your thighs, fingers mere centimeters away from your burning core that you needed him to touch.

His fingers dug into the hips of your jeans as you were pressed chest-to-chest, hands still lost in his hair. Your mouths were hot on another again, teeth clanking and saliva trailing wherever his mouth was on you, “Joel, I-”

Your short sentence was cut even shorter by his thumb brushing just above your sensitive spot, making your body shutter from the sudden contact, a reaction he became acutely aware of. A smirk spread on his face when he pressed his thumb against your jeans and you rocked forward immediately.

Gently, he dragged up and down along the seam, pressing kisses to your jaw up to your ear as you squirmed under his touch, teasing you with his voice, “Y’like that, huh?”

You moaned at every touch, all of it more than you could have ever expected. It’d been years since being even remotely physical with someone, and now you had Joel, the last person you ever imagined to be with, all over you. It felt like a dream, and you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

His fingers undid your jeans and he pulled them down enough to get access to where you both wanted him, swiping his thumb over the dampness of your panties and letting out a shaky breath at just how wet you were for him. He wrapped a strong arm around your waist and slid you closer as he leaned you backwards with hot kisses, sneakily diverting your attention while he pulled your panties to the side and sunk a finger into you, your sounds of pleasure muffled against his mouth and your hands gripping his shoulders.

You writhed until you were on the edge, pressing your body into him and his one arm stabilizing you while the other was between your legs, pumping one finger, then two. Shamelessly, you rocked into his hand, bucking your hips when his thumb rubbed circles against your clit and letting out soft gasps.

“That’s it, c’mon– use me, use my fingers,” he coaxed as he watched you ascend to seventh heaven with your eyes screwed shut and your mouth agape, “cum for me, darlin’.”

You rocked faster into his hand as he did a blissful combination of pumping, curling, and rubbing, feeling the fiery tightness in your stomach about to snap. You dug your fingers into his back as you clung around him, his arm holding you steady as he finger-fucked you. Burying your face in his neck, you were met with the warm and rich aromatic spices that flooded your sense of smell again, making your lungs and head feel lighter; rosemary and juniper mingling seamlessly with hints of musk and leather. He felt and watched as you came undone by his doing, your body constricting and your pussy tightening around his fingers, wishing he could see your face as you came. He muttered sweet praises as you rode out your high, but you were barely able to hear them from the white noise that exploded in your ears.

You whimpered at his fingers leaving you, opening your eyes just in time as he brought you down and faced you the other way. A lazy grin spread across your face as you heard the sound of his belt coming off, knowing what was next.

He pressed his pelvis against your backside, his warmth a heavenly feeling on your bare skin. His head brushed at your bundle of nerves as he guided himself along your folds, slicking himself with your heat, the contact making you putty in his hands.

“F-fuck,” the hot, soft skin of his cock on your pussy drove you up a wall, “n-need to see it– see you.”

He nuzzled his nose just behind your ear, “One of us s’gotta keep watch.”

Fuck if he thought that you would be the one watching, how could you possibly focus on anything else but him right now?

And as if anyone or anything would be around. But if they did, man did they have a sight to stumble upon.

He lined himself up and cupped the base of your neck, using it to hold you in place and as leverage to sink into you. You both let out mangled moans as he pushed in, his grip tightening on the back of your neck as he went deeper. Breathy gasps and muddled curses left your mouth as your pussy stretched to his girth, overstimulated by his sheer size and how fucking good he felt inside you.

“God– You’re so- agh-” he grunted, “so fuckin’ tight.”

He pressed himself into your back and buried his face into your shoulder as he bottomed out, his mind spinning from simply sheathing his cock into you. His hands fell to your hips, the pads of his fingers digging into the plushness of them. And once he started off in agonizingly slow thrusts, you soon recognized it as a sweet pleasure that you’d never felt before, the sensation incredibly gratifying and making your nerves pleasantly hyperesthetic. It made you weak in the knees, yet you pressed your ass against him to greedily beg for more.

He gradually picked up the pace, flesh smacking against flesh. You arched your back to give him better access, his body attuned to yours and adjusting accordingly. With every thrust, you jolted forward with airy breaths leaving you slackened jaw, feeling high off his touch, but you wanted more. Being that you were standing and he was behind you, it gave you barely any power to move how you wanted to, the pace and power solely in his hands.

“F-faster, Joel.” You managed to stammer out.

He purposely slowed down, craning his head to press lips against your ear, “What’s that, darlin?”

You whined at the stillness, trying to keep the motion going but miserably failing. His low chuckle made you want to cry, your whole body flushing in a frazzled hot sweat from the game he was trying to play.

“Use ‘em words, tell me what y’need.” He could get you to come from speaking to you like that, period. You whined even more when he teased his head in and out of your hole. “C’mon sweetheart–”

“You! Need you! Fa-” You cried out as he buried himself deep in you to the point his cock was vibrating from straining so hard, making you clench down on him and hearing a satisfied grunt from behind you.

“Good girl.”

He had you mewling as he drilled into you, fucking you into oblivion with his nasty acts. The sound of your skin wetly smacking had been the loudest in the room, followed by your blended grunts and gasps, his ragged breaths the most delicious sound you’d ever heard. Your heat was dripping down your thigh and pooling at the base of his cock, a divine sight that further fueled his sin. He snaked one hand down to your clit and rubbed fast circles, the tightness in your stomach rapidly coiling up again and forcing you to grip the edge of the counter.

“Such a good girl f’me.. to me.”

The sound of his praises and the squelching of fluids was quickly bringing you to your second high. You lacked the ability to turn over your shoulder to look at him, “Joel, I’m gonna-ah!– Gonna-”

Your mouth hung open as you threw your head back, his thrusts growing erratic and free hand hurrying up and under your bra to take your hardened nipple into his thumb and forefinger, pinching and rolling it between his fingers. In a matter of seconds, you were crumbling under his touch all over again by all the different and pleasurable sensations, your vision blurring and hot white ripping through your body. Your voice was lost in Joel’s, his pumps sloppy but still snapping hard into you.

“Fuck, darlin’, so fuckin’ pretty like this,” his head buried into your neck and shoulders, “got you– hah– got you all over my cock, givin’ you what he couldn’t.” Even through riding out your high a second time, your eyes widened at the subtle confession of jealousy. “Mine– always been–”

Quickly, he pulled out and spent himself away from you, leaning into your body and wrapping an arm around your waist as he shuddered through his orgasm with husky grunts. Your head hung as you braced yourself against the counter to act as a pillar for him, the adrenaline draining from your body as clarity took the place of it. He tucked himself away before retracting entirely from you to lean against the opposing counter, but not without pulling your panties and jeans up in a lazily swift motion first.

The room settled into a hushed stillness, interrupted by the labored breaths that punctuated the space as you both sought to regain your composure. You could feel your shirt sticking to your back, surely a trail of dappled sweat soaked through and down your spine that Joel could see as your back was still turned to him. The lack of light in the room indicated that nightfall was on your heels, meaning that it was past due the time you should’ve left to start back to Jackson, but you couldn’t find it in you to care about that right now.

Just two days ago, he kissed you and left without any kind of closure. And now, he’d just fucked you, twice.

With a gentle touch, he pivoted you around by your hip until you faced him, looking at each other with half-lidded eyes, yet it seemed that he had already bounced back quicker than you had. Even without proper lighting, the sheen of sweat visibly glistened on his forehead, tiny droplets matting down strands of hair around the frame of his face.

“Should get goin’.” He didn’t look at you as he delicately zipped up and buttoned your jeans, a task you were gathering the energy to accomplish on your own.

You nodded, silently acknowledging him, but more stunned by the act. Without further exchange, he retreated from you to grab his bag and headed outside.

Again, you were left alone with no kind of explanation of what the hell just happened, albeit in a much bigger, quieter, and darker space this time.

Your head was fucked. On and off. Hot and cold. Moments of potential followed by abrupt deflation.

What is happening?

Through the expanse of windows, the moon’s emergence over a distant peak caught your eye, a silent reminder of the advancing hour, urging you to gather your own things to get a move on.

You were definitely late now.

The walk home from the stables was quiet aside from the buzzing of insects. Walking in tandem, you barely looked in the other’s direction, though your thoughts were screaming about him. Every house you passed had their lights out and curtains drawn, a clear sign of the curfew set in place that you both were breaking right now, and how suspicious it’d look to anyone if they caught you. If you were lucky, Tommy would sweep it under the rug– maybe– but a greater concern lay in Maria finding out.

The glow of your own house’s lights struck you only upon crossing the threshold, a worried Ellie instantly appearing in the foyer– another person you forgot to consider answering to for your poor punctuality.

“Where have you guys been?”

You never thought you’d be on the receiving end of this situation, an unforseen shift that left you feeling unusually juvenile.

“We-uh..”

“..Had some stuff-”

“Had to go and-”

“Took care of it.”

Your faltering excuses had Ellie looking more confused than ever, her brows furrowing and scrunching in rapid succession as she attempted to parse both your disjointed words. It probably didn’t help that you were both disheveled and sticky with sweat while you muttered out words, though you could’ve played that off for the heat.

“Got caught up with some infected,” Joel looked over at you for the first time since the lodge, and you noticed the faintest blush gracing his cheeks, “threw us off on the way back, that’s all.”

You held your breath as Ellie continued to look at you funny even as you nodded to Joel’s lie. She was still skeptical, but ultimately let it go. “Well, I’m glad you guys made it back safe,” she eased her stance, “I was about to go knocking at Uncle Tommy’s.”

What a shitshow that would’ve been.

“Sorry to keep you waitin’, kiddo,” Joel crouched down, deftly undoing the laces of his boots and slipping them off, “why don’t you go get some rest now?”

“Read my mind.” A yawn accompanied her acknowledgement of the suggestion. She shifted her weight back on her heel, briefly looking you both up and down, “I’d give you guys a hug, but you seem kinda..”

“Goodnight, kiddo!”

“Go to bed already!”

Chuckles rippled through the room in the light moment, relief settling over you that your appearance was received how you were hoping it was. A small, contented smile remained on your lips even after she left, always having the ability to leave the room just a little bit brighter than before.

You reached down to grab your boots only to find them gone as if they vanished into thin air, then noticing how they swayed in Joel’s grasp as he placed them in the cubby-hole in the laundry room. You stared at him, the act registering more than just the simple one it was– no, there was something underneath it.

Because first it was your jeans and underwear, and now it was your shoes.

He paused at the foot of the stairs, staring down at the first step and then towards you. He looked.. exhausted.. to say the least. Like he was thinking about everything and nothing all at once. Silence wrapped around the room, a palpable avoidance of it, though so much needed to be said.

“Did you wanna..”

Your eyebrows slightly raised. Is he about to..?

“Take a shower before bed?”

Oh. Right. Because you share a bathroom, and he probably wants to take one.

“Uh- yeah,” you blinked out of thought, “probably be good to do.”

He pursed his lips and gave an awkward nod as you brushed past him, skipping every other step to grab clothes from your room and rushed to clean yourself so that you weren’t imposing too much on his sleep.

It would’ve taken you less time if you hadn’t had such a mess to clean up between your legs, making a mental note to maybe have something on you next time, if there even was a next time.

While you dried your hair, you bunched up your dirty clothes into the shirt you’d worn, having planned to drop it in your own laundry basket. But when you saw his sitting in the space behind the door, something compelled you to drop yours in. He probably wouldn’t have noticed once he threw his clothes on top of yours, and it all had to get cleaned anyway, right?

When you opened the door, a lamp had been turned on and Joel sat in the chair closest to his turntable, though no music played. How long he’d been sitting there, you didn’t know, but after all, it was his room.

You leaned against the doorway while running your thumb over the towel in your hands, “Hope I didn’t take too long.”

He shook his head, but it was infused with a genuine sincereness, like you could’ve been in there for an hour and he wouldn’t have minded.

Things felt.. different, now.

Your attention shifted to an album positioned atop his pile and a small white square in his hands, and if you squinted, you were almost certain that it was the one you were thinking of. You gently inquired about the item you were sure to have seen before, “What’s that?”

His eyes peered up at you, registering a hint of surprise, “Uh.. picture Ellie took ‘while ago.”

“You keep a lot in there?” Joel’s movements stilled as he slid the polaroid back into the album sleeve.

Shit, too much.

“No, just this one.” He answered with candor as he placed the sleeve with the rest, “Haven’t found the right frame for it, yet.”

Now, you knew that it was definitely Joel in the picture, because why else would he have kept it? You now also garnered two more pieces of information: It was taken by Ellie, and it had to have been taken in Jackson. It was likely that he had divulged more than he probably wanted or intended to, so you didn’t press any further.

“Well,” you steered the conversation away from the subject, “thanks for letting me get a shower in.”

He nodded with his gaze trained on the floor as he turned to rummage through his drawers for clothes, taking it as your cue to finally get out. With meek steps, you crossed the room, getting one foot out the door before he called your name softly, catching yourself on the frame to look back at him.

“Just.. wanted to say goodnight.”

He seemed to wrestle with his emotions, and though his eyes struggled meeting yours directly, the attempt to connect was clear. The tension that held your expression in what felt like all day finally softened, but a familiar ache rested deep within you.

You wanted.. sleep, for one, but also answers– or was it closure?

Who even fucking knew? Because you surely didn’t, and Joel probably didn’t either. And trying to figure it all out in the span of the current moment was pointless, especially while you were still lingering in his doorway.

Whatever was happening, it wasn’t easy, and it was far from being over.

“Goodnight, Joel.”

[absolutebl]

Dear academic Bl reference,

Three asks one i might have already done. Apologies in advance if i have. Feel free to pick :) lgbtq asian or bl or censored bl

1. Any recs/lists on beautiful bl actors with glasses(ideally in role) . eg my crush on bible (from kp) was magnified by him in reading glasses...

2. Bls with teacher x teacher or teacher x student vibes - academics falling for each other or borderline enemy x enemy lover (beloved enemy was so good for that tension but not a bl in the c adaptation).

3. Bls that made you think or learn smthg or shook you culturally? Eg the political considerations in Notme or Method or Bump Up Business (last 2 are meta about the entertainment industry)

I'm putting Under the Skin (censored chinese bl) for the sensitive storylines it ran under this category and the devil judge (non bl bl vibes..)

Humm, okay:

I don't track this sorry. There is someone who may or may not follow me who I KNOW does. so I will put the call out on this one!

BOYS IN GLASSES PEOPLE, GIMME!!!

2. Teacher Student BL

This one is 2 years old and there have been quite a few since then, but I am gonna assume the older ones are the ones you know less about. More recent BLs include Kiseki Dear to Me (but its not a main plot point) and Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (not recommended). Generally for teachers and teacher/student you're gonna be looking at Japan and Taiwan.

3. BL's that were thought provoking or shook me culturally

This I am going to have to contemplate and will likely do a full post about. I'll tag you in that, okay?

[whoredmode]

big info post on the antagonists in the srtt rewrite! similar to the ones i did for the sriv rewrite antagonists. originally i wasn’t gonna make one bc i was like y’all know the antagonists in srtt, but i adjust things in it enough where i’m like. yeah maybe i should make a post for it. some of this stuff is probably already familiar to you if you keep up with my rewrites at all, so apologies in advance for some stuff that you may have heard before

so right after the end of sr2, phillipe loren had offered dex protection from ultor. dex, extremely desperate, accepted the deal even if he wasn’t happy about it. in return for protection, loren wanted information on ultor and the saints. once the plot of srtt starts, dex is still with the syndicate, essentially stuck in a deal he was never gonna be able to repay and get out of. however, loren is killed by oleg within the first act of the story, and so dex assumed he’d be able to leave after that. killbane, however, is not gonna let that happen, so dex is still stuck with them as the story continues. 

so killbane’s whole deal is very similar to what we see in the actual game, but my lore for him for the rewrite is a mix of both implications and stuff that we can learn through things like the radio ads and the game guide—basically things that are unfortunately not shown or done in the actual game. so killbane was a pretty famous wrestler in the states during the 1980s. he was glamorous, he was powerful, and he knew how to put on a show. however, he got addicted to steroids fairly early on in his career, and his temper became more and more of an issue. this all culminated in what is considered one of the most infamous moments in wrestling history where he ended up killing his opponent live on-air. it was ruled an accident, as it genuinely was one, but killbane was disgraced and had to quit  then and there. he left for mexico shortly afterwards to get away from it all, where he ended up getting intrigued by lucha libre. he met angel, and the two quickly became an unstoppable and lovable tag team. about a decade after the match that ended his wrestling career, killbane was back in the states, this time with angel by his side. the two had a good run, becoming more famous than before and loving every minute of it. however, killbane was still abusing steroids this entire time, and as time went on, he grew more erratic and paranoid and violent. fearful that angel was coming for his crown, he challenged him to a match which led to killbane unmasking him and angel leaving the limelight for good. killbane’s career, however, only grew larger. it was around this time when he also really started to seriously get into the drug trade, but i’ll talk more about that in a minute.

onto the dewynter sisters. so kiki and viola are actually ultor-sent assassins/spies. they’d been on a several years-long mission within the syndicate, tasked with rising in the ranks of the syndicate, getting information on their operations, and eventually killing loren. they’ve been on this mission since before dane vogel was ultor CEO (side note: i think kiki and dane knew each other and had a thing going on. just because i’m a kikidane enjoyer). all that said though, once eric gryphon became CEO, he changed their main target to dex. the sisters are extremely good at their work, and everything they do they do together. that said, despite their expertise and passion, they will always put each other first. it’s why when killbane eventually kills kiki, viola abandons her mission and decides to help the saints instead. she lost kiki, so nothing matters to her anymore. 

and finally matt miller. so the deckers were originally a relatively small hacking group he put together back home in england, but their work caught the eye of loren, who eventually contacted him and offered him an important role within the syndicate. the deckers themselves are comparatively small within the syndicate, but their work predominantly deals in cyberspace, so it works out. he doesn’t get out much, nor does he do any big missions with the others, but he’s still eager for their approval, especially killbane’s. killbane has kinda taken him under his wing—unbeknownst to matt, the reason killbane has been so buddy-buddy with him is because he plans on taking the syndicate from loren, long before loren actually died. early on, in a bid for killbane’s approval, matt took out kinzie’s whole investigation. kinzie, while still in the FBI, had been tasked with part in a large investigation into killbane’s drug racket. he’d been smuggling steroids and opioids into steelport, both for his own consumption and also to sell to the huge wrestling community in the area. matt caught wind of this and set up kinzie so she’d lose her job, all so killbane would be proud of him. he was, but this also sparked kinzie and matt’s ongoing feud. matt’s just a kid, so he’s very awkward when dealing with the other members irl, so he tends to just stick by killbane. 

there’s more i could say but i’m cutting myself off because this post is long enough. as always though please feel free to ask me about my rewrites whenever

[hitechlatte]

Tattered Cloak Updates

Hey everyone! Thanks for your patience while I write this fic!! I have some fun updates to share with you all!

We're at nearly 15K words and 5 Chapters written.

Updated Outline is Estimating 15 Chapters, so we're about a 3rd of the way there!

Although I'm not cranking out huge word counts yet, the pace should pick up soon. I am fixing a TON of issues like plot holes, poor pacing in plot/character development, inconsistent direction, etc. So in the future writing should go much faster once I fix these and nail down the story's direction!

THIS IS SO ANGSTY AND I AM SORRY IN ADVANCE. I mean you all asked for it, so I won't apologize that much but I'M STILL SORRY! LIKE WHEN YALL SEE THE TAGS I DON'T THINK YOU'LL BE READY

I will spoil one tiny thing if you're interested, regarding which side characters this fic will be focused around and I'll put it below the read more line if you don't want to be spoiled

I'm hoping to ACTUALLY have an estimate for release in the next few weeks. Meant to sooner, but plot holes and other issues threw me for a loop.

LASTLY THANK YOU ALL AGAIN FOR YOUR PATIENCE WHILE I WRITE I AM SO EXCITED FOR WHEN THIS IS FINALLY DONE

Also here is the super mild spoiler:

This main side character in the fic will be Leo, so he'll be like the Irma or April of this story.

Oh and OBVIOUSLY a lot of Shelldon time, like even more so than Purple Hoodie, but Shelldon is always best character and deserves all the spotlight lol.

Thanks for your continued support and just be mindful about posting this info in the comments a lot incase people want to be surprised.

[silkflovvers]

Hello friend! Did I see a PACIFIC RIM ALBEDO AU?!

Please, may I humbly requeat a snippet for Albedo Day?

A FELLOW PERSON OF CULTURE I SEE

I will forewarn you this AU started as me writing out a summary of an idea in a discord server that just eventually got out of hand and became too detailed to call a summary, so the grammar and all that is not up to par with my other writing. However, it is still all safely tucked away in a 6k word doc and begging to be shared in any form it may take!

Apologies for any inconsistencies anywhere! This is long, so I hope it doesn't cut off anywhere....

"Pacific Rim AU"

Rating: T? Ship: Kaebedo (at least it was end goal, no real romance is happening) Tags: Canon typical violence, minor character death, hurt/comfort

Diluc and Kaeya used to be a Jaeger pilot team because they were drift compatible due to growing up together since a young age, but a battle went wrong and Diluc and Kaeya were both injured. Kaeya had to pilot the Jaeger alone for a few minutes until he blacked out. When he came to Diluc wasn't there anymore, instead there was a rescue team (Amber and Noelle) helping him out of the control room cockpit thing. Whatever you call it. 

So Kaeya is forcibly retired from piloting. He still gets headaches and body aches occasionally, blaming it on Diluc each time, wherever he may be. The fact that he can still feel him lets him know he's out there somewhere, alive.

He hates being barred from piloting his Jaeger, his baby he so lovingly piloted straight into battle countless times. He itches to be back in the suit, but Jean won't allow him to unless he can find a new partner he can safely drift with. Kaeya is stubborn and doesn't want to drift with anyone but his missing brother.

His and Diluc's Jaeger is slowly but surely repaired. Seeing it in one piece as good as new nearly drives Kaeya insane. He sneaks into the hold to check the mechanics' work. Thinking everyone had gone back to the barracks for the day, he strolls through the Jaeger like there's no threats in sight. 

Then, Albedo asks him what the hell he's doing in the Jaeger without safety equipment and the right papers documenting he has the permission to be on board and scares the crap out of him.

Kaeya doesn't like this little blond mechanic's attitude and snaps back that it's his robot. He has every right to be in it.

Albedo, unfazed, informs him it's the Ordo's robot and he needs to see his papers with Jean's stamp of approval.

Kaeya doesn't have any papers.

—————

Kaeya learns that Albedo is the head of the mechanic team overseeing his Jaeger through gossip in the mess hall and probably through some back hallway interrogations of the apprentice welders and electricians on the team that he manages to corner.

From that moment on, Kaeya decides he's going to either bribe or seduce Albedo into letting him into the Jaeger.

Absolute nonsense ensues

Kaeya does EVERYTHING he can possibly think of to convince Albedo to let him in the robot. 

He decides Albedo must be made of stone to reject all of his advances and attempts, but he does learn little tidbits of information about the mechanic.

He learns that Albedo is Klee's big brother, that he's close with Sucrose, and hears some saucy rumors about him and lieutenant Huffman from the strategy sector. He also learns that Albedo is the one who painted the mural in the main lobby and the one in the mess hall.

Kaeya starts to see Albedo as more than just the mechanic he's trying to sweet talk into letting him back in the robot.

By the time Albedo just BARELY starts to soften up, Jean catches on to what Kaeya was trying to do and essentially puts him in time out on paper work duty. He's stuck with Lisa in record keeping for a solid week. They were friendly before, but Jean doesn't realize her mistake of putting those two in a room together, because Kaeya just got a free week of romance lessons and he's going to win Albedo's heart once he's free.

So Kaeya, with new tricks up his sleeve and moral support from Lisa, approaches Albedo for once without the intent to get back in his robot. 

Except, Albedo was actually looking for Kaeya. He needs someone to test the drift apparatus to ensure it’s functional.

All of Kaeya's week-long training gets thrown out the window as soon as the chance to get back in the Jaeger is handed to him without any argument.

Of course he accepts. But, then he remembers the Jaeger needs two people.

He asks who the other pilot is going to be.

Albedo gives him an odd look before saying he'll take the place of second pilot for maintenance reasons.

Kaeya's dumbfounded, obviously.

He shamelessly asks Albedo if he knows anything about how drift compatibility works (Pacific Rim 2, your lack of drift compatibility lore is not welcome here)

Albedo, calmly, asks if he knows who he's talking to, tool belt in one hand and documents in the other.

Kaeya's realizes it was a dumb thing to say and simply asks if he thinks it's safe since they've never drifted before. Albedo simply tells him he thinks they'd be compatible and walks off towards the hangar where the Jaegers are kept. Kaeya follows, but can't for the life of him come up with a reply

So they get all suited up and Kaeya tries his hardest to keep unprofessional thoughts out of his head when he sees Albedo suited up, for safety reasons, not just to be sexy. He knows Albedo will know he thought those things if they do successfully drift and he wasn't about to risk all of Lisa's training turning into a waste.

With the team in the control room and in the hangar on standby, they commence the testing. There's mild turbulence on Kaeya's end, memories of the battle where he lost Diluc, threatening to tear him out of his calm focus. His mind turns to flames and burning oil, overheated cores and alarms ringing. Albedo reaches out to him and brings him back with a cold hand. When Kaeya catches sight of Albedo's thoughts and memories that slip through, he sees nothing but a cold, cold mountain, littered with ruins.

Then he's standing in the snow with his hands both grasped tightly by Albedo's. 

They're drift compatible.

The tests go smoothly without any hiccups and they pull out of the drift.

Kaeya can barely function out of pure shock that someone, someone other than Diluc, successfully drifted with him without either of them passing out, getting a nosebleed, or something exploding.

Albedo pulls off his helmet like this was a normal day for him. The rest of the team is silent over the communications channel. Jean is the first to ask if they're both alright. Albedo answers for the both of them and immediately asks for a run down of the diagnostics.

—————

Kaeya doesn't sleep that night. He lays awake with nothing on his mind but snow covered mountains and the thrill of being back in the Jaeger. He wants to feel it again.

First thing in the morning, Kaeya asks Albedo to be his copilot. Albedo nearly throws his coffee on him. It's 4 am and he was up all night going over the data to make sure the tests were completely successful and that the Jaeger's drift apparatus wouldn't cause any harm to the pilots, however minute it may be. He doesn't know why Kaeya is awake at this hour or why he's energetically saying good morning like a regular person would at 7am at the earliest. And did he just ask him to be his copilot?

Albedo refuses.

Kaeya feels like he's back at square one.

Albedo reasons that he's a mechanic and a researcher. Not a soldier. He's here to build and fix the Jaegers, not pilot them and knock some Kaiju around.

Kaeya pleads with him, explaining he's only the second person who's ever successfully drifted with him. He needs Albedo to be his copilot if he ever wants Jean to let him back in his big metal baby ever again. He doubts Varka would even let him if he ever returned from the other branch across the ocean.

Albert stands firm in his rejection. He's not a pilot.

Kaeya is heartbroken.

But Albedo has softened up to him, and he doesn't want Kaeya to be miserable, even if he prefers not to meddle in other people's affairs. 

With a foreign air of hesitation, Albedo asks Kaeya to keep him company while he works. All that's left to fine tune are the functions unique to Pavo Noctua (Kaeya and Diluc's Jaeger). Albedo reasons there may not be anyone who knows the robot better than Kaeya.

Of course, Kaeya completely falls for the praise, not seeing it for what it is. He does enjoy feeling needed though, after being retired for so long. He was getting tired of training all the new recruits who were more likely to step foot in a Jaeger than he was these days.

Albedo enjoyed Kaeya's company, even if he wouldn't admit it. But above all, he was curious about what went on inside the pilot's head after the glimpse he saw while they were drifting.

Kaeya too, was curious about the place he saw in the drift. He wanted to ask Albedo about it, but didn't know how many boundaries that may cross.

So he does it subtly. He asks little questions to get to know the blond better as they toil away on circus boards and specialized conduits for one mechanism or another.

—————

Albedo opens up. Slowly. And so does Kaeya.

Eventually, he learns what that mountain means to Albedo, months after they drifted.

That mountain was once his home. He lived amongst historians, archivists, and researchers in his youth. He was raised by a smart, stern woman who expected much of him and kept him fed and safe in return. He doesn't know his parents, but he could guess they were once part of the team exploring the mountain. A terrible snow storm had swept a portion of the team off a cliff years before he heard about it. He was able to piece together that his parents were likely part of the portion that never made it back. 

His guardian left him at an encampment at the base of the mountain to venture into town for supplies. 

There was a breach in the ocean, Albedo could see the boiling waves crash against the shoreline from the tents. A Kaiju appeared. It laid waste to the small town and sent the researchers fleeing up the mountain in desperation. Albedo tripped and fell, injuring his leg and shoulder. He wasn't able to run away with the rest of them.

A Jaeger intercepted the Kaiju before it could come after the people on the mountain. The beast was defeated, but at the cost of many lives. Albedo's guardian and the rest of the research team didn't return. He couldn't be sure how many had fled in fear and how many had perished.

He was rescued by the team that led the Jaeger defense. They took him in when they recognized his potential once he was healed. He took to Jaeger blueprints with ease and became a mechanic by the age of 14, and one with power and respect.

Kaeya asks Albedo if he wants to go back to his barrack for a drink that night.  He doesn't have any naughty intentions, he just doesn't think Albedo looks like he wants to be alone after telling his story.

Somehow, Kaeya doesn't expect it when he agrees, despite his offer.

So they walk back in silence through the hallways. Kaeya finds his heartbeat steadily increasing the closer they get to his quarters. It's not impressive. Each worker has the same size place to call their own, regardless of status. The only difference being that some choose to room together. With Diluc MIA, Kaeya's on his own. Diluc's belongings haven't been moved or even touched since the day he went missing. 

The first thing Albedo thinks when he steps inside is that it's like Kaeya's brother never left. That is, until he sees the thick layer of dust on his bunk.

Kaeya pulls a bottle of wine out from the cabinet along with two glasses. Albedo notices one is cracked.

They drink quietly at first, but Albedo can't help but notice the way Kaeya's facade seems to crumble more and more the further into the bottle they go

Eventually Kaeya starts to share his story, without any prompting from the blond.

He explains that he too, was twice orphaned.

He was left in a strange town by his birth father when they fled their hometown due to the residual radiation from a slain Kaiju.  He was found by Diluc's father, Crepus. He was taken in by the staff and given a new family, though it was small. It consisted only of Diluc and his father. Though, Kaeya often considered the house staff family as well. He was raised alongside Diluc like they were siblings. They trained and grew up to be one of the most successful Jaeger pilot teams on Teyvat. More dead Kaiju under their belts than you could count on two hands. No one had ever faced that many beasts before them and lived to tell the tale. 

But then came the day the category 4 Kaiju breached.

Their father died that day. And it was the day Diluc vanished. Kaeya was left alone, unable to climb back into the one thing he had left without his brother as his copilot. And he lost sight in his right eye after it became infected with Kaiju blood.

Albedo didn't know what to do when Kaeya started crying.

He wasn't the type of person people usually broke down in front of. Most people wouldn't hold his attention long enough to even have the chance to.

—————

Kaeya wakes up in the morning with his head on Albedo's lap. He doesn't know how to feel when he realizes the mechanic didn't leave him alone after his breakdown.

Albedo's still asleep when there's a knock on his door. 

It's Jean and she's been crying.

Kaeya doesn't know what's happening and he's entirely too hung over for all this excitement.

She tells him Diluc is back.

He almost collapses then and there.

He rushes out of the room, leaving Albedo confused and groggy. Jean only gives him an odd look when she notices him on Kaeya's bed in his work uniform.

Kaeya finds Diluc in the infirmary, being tended to by Barbara. 

He's different. Kaeya can tell just by looking at him. His eyes don't sparkle like they did before when he finally looks at him.

Diluc looks like a dead man parading around in the body of his brother. His eyes are cloudy and sunken, his skin even paler than before, but littered in scars Kaeya couldn't even begin to guess how he had gotten.

Barbara leaves the two alone to talk, but Diluc doesn't talk. He flinches away when Kaeya reaches out to him. This man isn't his brother, not anymore.

Diluc is placed in a separate room for the time being, leaving their old shared barrack to Kaeya alone. Almost like he'd never returned at all. It had been 4 years without him. And nothing changed once he returned. Kaeya still felt alone.

—————

Upon Jean's well meaning request, the two climb into their Jaeger. Kaeya doesn't miss the wild look in Diluc's eyes. He knows it's going to end badly before he can tell the control center to stop the drift process, but it's too late.

Kaeya wakes up in the infirmary with an apologetic Jean by his side. He feels like his head was split open twice and sewn back together with barbed wire.

Jean informs him that Diluc is no longer fit to pilot a Jaeger. And with a long pause, she informs him that he and his brother are no longer drift compatible.

Twice. Twice Kaeya has lost his copilot.

—————

He knocks on Albedo's door later that night when he knows he's finished up his diagnostic tests on the core of the Jaeger.

When Albedo opens the door, he explains that it hurts to see Diluc's empty bunk.

The mechanic let's him in without any questions. He lets Kaeya curl around him on the cramped bed suitable for only one person at a time.

It becomes routine until Kaeya's room doesn't even feel like his own anymore. Unless Albedo is there to keep him company.

Slowly, baby steps, Albedo convinces Kaeya to pack up Diluc's old things. He delivers them to the redhead in Kaeya's place.

Diluc doesn't know him. Albedo smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. He's been tuning he and Kaeya's Jaeger since they first piloted it, Diluc had just never given him the time of day. Kaeya only met him recently, but Diluc? Diluc was the one he spoke to directly whenever there was something wrong with the robot, yet he acted like they'd never met.

Albedo brushed it off and returned to Kaeya after the day's work. Jean had given the pilot time off to recover, as much as he needed.

—————

It takes time, but Kaeya does recover. 

He gets back to whipping the trainees into shape with a ferocity that puts fear into the hearts of even the most self confident trainees. Jean has to ask him to dial it back so he doesn't scare them all off.

Diluc has taken up a quiet job within the intelligence sector once he settled in. Despite speaking very little since his return, he came back with a wealth of information.

—————

Sucrose, the resident Kaiju researcher, alerts Jean of unusual energy fluctuations coming from a known breach location close to the institution. She suspects multiple Kaiju may break through soon.

Jean contacts other branches that would be willing to lend reinforcements.

She is able to enlist the help of three Jaeger teams from Liyue, Vago Mundo (Zhongli and Xiao), Big Dipper (Ningguang and Beidou), and Evilsoother (Chongyun and Xingqiu). One team from Inazuma is also sent in to help, Frostflake Heron (Ayaka and Thoma). An independent brother-sister duo that had temporarily been stationed in Inazuma, Stella Fortuna (Lumine and Aether), volunteered to join Frostflake Heron in helping the Ordo Favonius fight the looming Kaiju threat.

When the teams arrive one by one with their colorful cast of mechanics, strategists, and managers, Kaeya’s mood sours.

—————

Albedo had started sleeping in Kaeya’s barrack more often than his own, either sharing a bunk with Kaeya or claiming Diluc’s old bed. He’d done so without Kaeya having to ask. He’d simply understood the forlorn look in the pilot’s eyes each night they should have split off to go to their own rooms.

—————

Kaeya is unusually quiet the night of the welcome party for the reinforcements. Apart from customary thanks and greetings as a high ranking member of the Ordo during the start of the celebration, he speaks to no one that night. Even when he drags Albedo into his room for the night, he says nothing. 

It scares Albedo, but he doesn’t understand why.

—————

Only a day passes before the alarms sound through the halls in the middle of the night. The staff are scrambling through the corridors to get to their posts. Two category three Kaiju have breached, just as Sucrose predicted.

Albedo tears himself out of Kaeya’s arms on a mad dash for the hangar. As one of the senior mechanics, he’ll be needed now more than ever. Kaeya, frustrated, angry, and silent, makes his way to Jean’s side in the strategy room. Screens and monitors line every wall. The staff are frantically typing away, attempting to run the proper protocols and start up programs to get everything running. 

The teams ready themselves in their mechs.

Kaeya watches.

He watches as they power up and some get helicoptered out to the location. The Jaegers better suited to long distances and water, are left to travel there on their own. The site isn’t far. Big Dipper cuts through the water like its pilots were aquatic. Frostflake Heron and Stella Fortuna have thrusters that allow them to glide over the water.

Vago Mundo is the tank of the reinforcements. They’re dispatched to the frontlines. Evilsoother is fast and precise, the young team rounds up the two Kaiju and pushes them back into Vago Mundo’s range. Big Dipper arrives next and traps the beasts in with powerful electrical currents that cut through the water from its blade. The amphibious Jaeger’s turrets fire sparkling gold that can be seen from the windows of the strategy room.

—————

Kaeya watches.

Everything is going too smoothly. Two of the Jaegers haven’t made it there yet and the beasts have almost fallen.

Kaeya watches as Sucrose comes barreling into the room, screaming in near hysterics that another Kaiju has breached. It’s category four.

Panic sets deep into Kaeya’s bones. He is tired of watching.

The room erupts into chaos as every communication line is buzzing with frantic warnings.

No one can get through to Stella Fortuna.

The sea bursts open beneath the white and gold Jaeger. A gaping maw of glowing teeth rips them out of the sky and pulls them under the thrashing waves.

Frostflake Heron pursues them into the ocean, only for their communications to turn to static.

One of the Kaiju breaks loose from the tight hold of the Liyue Jaeger teams. It forces Evilsoother under the waves as the other two attempt to put a swift end to the first. The sea is tainted with shimmering blue blood as Big Dipper chops the head off the Kaiju trapped in Vago Mundo’s cage of pulsing spears.

Over the radios, Beidou of the Big Dipper team is informing the others that she and Ningguang will go help Frostflake Heron and Stella Fortuna. Vago Mundo quickly tells them to go and lunges after where Evilsoother vanished under the tide. 

Communications crackle with static and a gut wrenching scream.

It was Ayaka of Frostflake Heron.

Kaeya sprints for the hangar.

As soon as he’s through the door, his eyes lock on to the blond mechanic barking instructions to his subordinates. Without as much as a hello, Kaeya throws him over his shoulder and runs for Pavo Noctua. He flings Albedo inside and yells for him to suit up.

Albedo refuses, he demands to know what’s going on.

Kaeya explains what new events had occurred since the alarms started and tells him he can’t just sit around any longer and watch their reinforcements die. If they fell, all the innocent lives in the Ordo would surely be next.

He begs, he pleads, he’s ready to grovel for Albedo to agree. 

Of course Jean doesn’t know about this when the launch sequence is started. 

The workers in the hangar do their best to flee out of the way. They can hear Vago Mundo and Evilsoother reporting that the second category three Kaiju is down, but they haven’t seen the other three teams. Big Dipper has not returned to the surface yet, nor have the other two.

Pavo Noctua sets off for the last location they were sighted above water and dives. The water is murky and black like ink. Fortunately Pavo Noctua is best suited for combat in poor visibility and Albedo knows how to read every sensor like it’s his first name.

They see four heat sources down deep. One is starting to go cold. 

Big Dipper is slashing away at the jaw holding tight to Stella Fortuna. The Kaiju is slashing back with a sharp prehensile tail. A few broken spines protrude from the limp form of Frostflake Heron and it’s lights are flickering. Stella Fortuna is struggling in the cage of glowing teeth. Something is leaking from their core.

Albedo recognizes the shimmering liquid and dangerous glow immediately and instructs Kaeya to help him pull Big Dipper away before-

The ocean erupts in a blinding light as they whisk Big Dipper away from the beast.

The tail lashes out and sends Pavo Noctua spiraling into an underwater cliff. 

Weapons located in the upper left shoulder are down and using that arm to shoot frozen bullets strains Kaeya’s muscles with a searing pain.

Evilsoother rushes in during the blinding distraction and pulls Frostflake Heron away from the battle and back to the base on the shore. 

—————

Albedo can feel the pain Kaeya’s in from the collision, but they successfully pulled Big Dipper out of the range of the explosion. Stella Fortuna… wasn’t as lucky. They see Evilsoother vanish above the water and feel the rumble as the beast roars.

It’s angry now.

Pavo Noctua takes its battle stance, Big Dipper does the same beside them.

Then the Kaiju’s mouth opens wide and glows brighter than the sharp teeth that line its speckled purple gums. The ocean screams.

A beam of pure radiation cuts between the two Jaegers before they can dodge it.

Kaeya cries out in agony as Pavo Noctua’s left arm is ripped out of its socket from the force of the beam. It melts into the sand on the seafloor. A glance to the side confirms that Big Dipper managed to jump out of the line of fire. Their Jaeger is still in one piece.

The Kaiju prepares to charge forward, Albedo raises his sword.

The flat of Big Dipper's blade smashes into the side of the Kaiju’s skull. It screeches and smacks them away with its tail. They’re sent spiraling over a rocky outcrop.

Fatigue is seeping into Albedo. He’s not a warrior, not even a soldier. He’s just a mechanic stupid enough to agree to copilot a Jaeger without written permission or prior training. Despite Kaeya’s position having more control over the left arm, he feels the pain too through the drift. It’s there and it feels real, but he isn’t the one with sparks shooting onto his suit. There’s a leak somewhere in the Jaeger. They’re taking on water, but it isn’t anything the mech can’t handle or flush out with the mechanisms Albedo designed.

Suddenly, the beast sharply turned and darted towards the other mech it had just sent flying. Albedo does his best to drag them forwards through a break in the rock. Big Dipper’s lights are flickering on and off and the mech lays still. An important component had to have been struck. The Kaiju is headed straight for them. 

—————

Sand bursts around them as something heavy crashes down atop the Kaiju.

Vago Mundo’s distinct, swirling, geometric lights shine through the debris in a subtle glow. The team gracefully wrestles the Kaiju until it’s soft underbelly is exposed and directed towards Pavo Noctua’s blade.

Even with communications down and Kaeya injured, the two get the message and fillet it straight down the middle. Shimmering blue blood leaks from its insides like smoke as it thrashes in Vago Mundo’s hold. 

Eventually the Kaiju’s struggling weakens. It’s body is thrown to the sea floor, only for its skull to be crushed beneath the weight of one of Vago Mundo’s pillars.

They were taking no chances.

—————

Vago Mundo lifts up Big Dipper with ease and starts towards the shore. Pavo Noctua does their best to follow. The adrenaline from the fight begins to lose its potency the closer they get to shore. The pain catches up with Kaeya and the ache of exhausted limbs hits Albedo at full force. Everything goes fuzzy, his head is pounding, and it’s harder to move before he realizes Kaeya has blacked out. The strain of the copilot losing consciousness is too much for him. He faints from the pain of being the sole pilot in a matter of seconds.

Pavo Noctua lurches forward beneath the waves.

—————

Kaeya wakes up to bright lights and Barbara’s startled face as he jerks the IV she was connecting out of his arm. He’s in pain, but he’s numb. He can feel that familiar tug at the back of his eyes, but can’t feel the tearing, ripping pain in his shoulder.

In a panic he asks what happened. Barbara’s smile is sad when she tells him they won the battle. It falters when he asks about the others. She goes down the list, Vago Mundo team came out unscathed, Evilsoother had a few bruised ribs and scrapes but nothing major, Big Dipper’s Beidou suffered a concussion, but is steadily recovering, Frostflake Heron was deprived of their oxygen supply for a few minutes past the line between safe and dangerous, but seem to be fine.

He doesn’t miss the way she leaves out Albedo and Stella Fortuna.

The sibling team unfortunately comes as no surprise to him. He witnessed the explosion. There was no time for the compromised escape pod to launch. There couldn’t have been any survivors.

But Albedo? The lack of his name from her lips had him gripping her wrist until she was crying out in pain.

She explains Albedo spent a concerning amount of time piloting the Jaeger while Kaeya was unconscious and they aren’t sure of what the consequences may be. He’s currently sleeping after being kept awake for observation. But he’s alive.

Barbara tells him not to move too much and to call for someone if he needs something before she leaves.

—————

He’s released after a week of Jean mandated bed rest in the infirmary. The first thing he does is beeline for Albedo’s infirmary room. When he walks in, Albedo’s sitting up in bed with a tray of soup and biscuits over his lap. He doesn’t notice Kaeya when he walks in. All his attention seems to be on the spoon in his hand.

Kaeya tells him that’s an interesting way to hold a spoon. The sudden noise startles Albedo and the spoon goes clattering into the bowl, splashing hot soup into his lap and making him jump again. Kaeya rushes forward and grabs napkins to soak up the hot liquid. Albedo attempts to pick up the rag on the tray, but can’t. It slips through his fingers and he curses.

Kaeya pauses and pulls away. He’s never heard Albedo sound so frustrated. He watches him attempt to pick up the cloth until he eventually gives up. Kaeya’s already wiped up the soup, anyway. He asks the mechanic if he’s okay.

Albedo doesn’t answer.

Then, he asks Kaeya to leave.

—————

Catching him looking lost in the hallway, Jean pulls Kaeya aside to regretfully inform him that despite his heroics, he is permanently retired from piloting a Jaeger. He tries to argue, but Jean stops him with a folder of his medical record pressed to his chest. She reasons that his impaired vision, trauma, and the permanent nerve damage in his left arm from this last battle puts him at too much risk. They can’t afford a liability on the battlefield. She apologizes as his friend and his superior.

—————

He tracks down Barbara to find out what’s wrong with Albedo. Barbara tries to tell him she’s not allowed to share that information with him without Albedo’s consent, but Kaeya talks his way into making her tell him. Once he gets the information out of her, she covers her mouth like she’s done something unspeakable and runs away.

The prolonged time piloting the Jaeger as well as the added impact when the mech toppled over caused a serious brain and spinal cord injury that impaired his fine motor skills. He is unable to hold or grasp things without a large amount of effort and focus. Currently, he’s struggling to walk, but Barbara believes that will improve with time.

Suddenly, Kaeya wonders if this means they’ll both be permanently retired from their respective jobs. He knew this would come one day for himself, though he’d hoped for a few more years in the Jaeger before it happened. But Albedo? He’d thought Albedo would be fixing up the mechs until he was ready to keel over and die. Now he couldn’t even hold a screwdriver.

And it was Kaeya’s fault.

That’s exactly what Albedo said to him three weeks later once he’d worked up the nerve to apologize.

The former mechanic's words cut like knives as he blamed him for taking away everything that made life worthwhile. Barbara was left to stand stunned in the corner and watch as Albedo’s outburst continued. He yelled until tears poured down his face and all he could do was sob. 

Once he calmed down, Kaeya silently got his attention. He still looked furious, but exhaustion was stronger. Before he could say anything, Kaeya picked something up in his right hand and sat it in the palm of his left. Albedo watched him with a puzzled expression. He curled his fingers around it and tilted it sideways. The item fell from his grip and clattered to the floor.

Albedo’s blue eyes stared at the item on the floor for a long moment before he looked back up at Kaeya. The retired pilot simply smiled and told him they’re the  same. His nerve damage causes burning pain if he grips things and even then he can’t judge how tightly he needs to hold something. The nerves in his hand are shot. Neither of them can do what they’re meant to do anymore. He pulls his discharge papers from his jacket and holds them out for Albedo to see.

Albedo asks why he was officially discharged. Kaeya explains the injuries he’s accumulated have made him more of a liability than a soldier. For his safety and the safety of others, he was politely fired, but with retirement and disability benefits. And the option to continue training the new recruits. He even got a Medal of Honor. He pulls it out of his other pocket and loops it over Albedo’s head to hang around his neck.

Albedo asks him why he’s giving away his medal. Kaeya informs him his medal is in his quarters. This one is for the brave mechanic who leapt into battle against three Kaijus.

The former mechanic lifts the medal up so he can see it better, but there’s a tremor in one of his hands and it wobbles.

When anger starts to burn in his eyes once more, Kaeya speaks up again. He tells Albedo to pay Jean a visit at the end of the week if he’s rested enough. She has a new job offer for him. Albedo gives him another confused look. Kaeya simply tells him that just because he can’t use his hands doesn’t mean he can’t use his head. The way Albedo’s eyes go wide makes it clear he hadn’t considered that.

Kaeya says he’ll let him get back to his scheduled rehab with Barbara and turns to leave. Before he exits the room he turns back to Albedo to tell him he’s always welcome in his barrack if he ever gets lonely.

—————

As he’s getting ready to turn in for the night, Kaeya hears a knock on his door. Thinking it may be Albedo, he opens it rather than tells the other person that it’s unlocked. He’s instead surprised by Diluc’s shock of red hair.

He’s not meeting Kaeya’s eye as he opens his mouth to speak.

He tells Kaeya he heard about Jean retiring him from being a pilot. He knows that was Kaeya’s whole life. As his brother, well, sort of, he wanted to give his condolences. If he had been more stable and been able to copilot the Jaeger, he knows it wouldn’t have ended this way.

Kaeya isn’t sure how to respond. He’s angry Diluc would doubt Albedo’s ability, he’s sad Diluc couldn’t fight with him, he’s sympathetic to Diluc’s condition, and he suddenly just wants to go to bed.

He doesn’t have the energy to talk things out with Diluc tonight. There’s too much to cover and he has to oversee training in the morning. He thanks Diluc for coming to see him, but tells him they can talk more tomorrow. The redhead looks relieved at his suggestion and bids him Goodnight.

Another knock comes an hour later, after he’s tossed and turned in his bunk with sleep nowhere in sight. He opens the door with a quiet huff of frustration, but softens at the sight of Albedo. A pillow is pinned to his chest by his forearms.

They don’t talk, but Albedo lets Kaeya hold him tight until they both drift off to sleep.

[bubacorn]

alright, so this is gonna be so cheesy, but i wanna make a post with some of my favorite ST fics i've written this year, if for nothing else, just to remind myself that i can arrange words around, and they can come out half-decent. so, yeah, sorry in advance to anyone who has to see this, i wouldn't dare put the fandom fanfic tag on this, this is only for my dear followers, you are lovely, i apologize if this appears on your dash.

Come Beside Me (This Won’t Hurt I Swear) okay, so i remember being so in love with the last part, especially the whole morning sunlight thing. that was (is?) my favorite piece of writing at that point (which really wasn't hard, cause there wasn't much to pick from yet)

God Gives His Toughest Flus to His Sleepiest Vessels this is just pure mush, but stubborn sick Vessel being taken care of is very close to my heart

And I Don’t Wanna Get in Your Way this all started with the "Get comfortable" "I am" and the "You're allowed to take up space". in my mind, they're watching either The Matrix or John Wick at the end for some reason

I Got Problems Down in My Bones gods, this one. the little parts just wrote themselves and there was this common thread between them and i loved this one so much (still do). there's some pieces of me in this and it makes me feel sad, but seen that people related to this one (i love you, i hope you're doing well)

I Will Shield You from the Waves, if They Find You this is very sweet and all, but i always think of it more as sad

Break and Bend to My Basic Need didn't plan on writing this, but the brainworms made me and then it turned out kinda good

It’s All Your Fault, Even When You Don’t Mean To this. this and the next one are twin fics for me, i always think of them in pairs (probably cause i wrote them back-to-back). can't articulate, but it's also very close to my heart. IV holding the back of Vessel's head and wiping his tears and making him feel worth it make me feel very normal, i almost feel like it wasn't me who wrote it

This Is the Start of Something this!!! i made them watch worst cooks in America cause why not. this one's also very close to my heart, definitely one of my favorites i've ever written

I’m Frantic in Your Soothing Arms okay, the implication that Vessel knows nothing makes the transformation easier from his own experience suffering, but he still tries anyway, cause he would take a tummy ache from III without hesitation, if he could. also, rubbing his stomach is just so intimate and he's so desperate to help, even though he knows he can't, but still tries. and Vessel calling III 'my heart' and 'my III' just came to me and they made me lose my mind so of course i had to include them. feeling very normal about this one, too

And the Pain Still Hates Me for some reason i love the base idea of this, i don't even know how it appeared in my head, but i'm so glad it did. blowing kisses was a last-minute addition, also didn't know where that came from, but it's so cute

And Honey, I Only Appeared So I Can Fade Away this one! i had half an idea for this and like one sentence typed in, then just started writing and i loved writing this, it was so much fun and i adore the end product, one of my favorites. now that i'm thinking, maybe i could expand on this

I Believe I’m Not Alone this was kinda based on one of those posts that was like 'you deserve to be loved and chosen, not almost loved and almost chosen' and my brain went 'Vessel!' and then i wrote this. again, pieces of me, pieces of him

Come Squeeze the World and Drip It Down My Throat Again i was a bit afraid with this one, cause i felt it was a little clumsy (?), with the way the smaller parts revolved around a main idea but weren't all very closely connected. but gods, i made my own heart hurt with this one a lot. also, love this title, some of my favorite lyrics. loaded with layers of trauma, but it's very dear to me

I’m Doing What I Must, Which Is Attempting to Kill the Little Boy Inside (But as Hard as I Try, the Child Will Not Die) again, loosely compiled together around an idea, but this took a shorter time to write i think. it flowed well for me, and again, it hurt right in my meow-meow, but i love this a lot. also, the title just wouldn't leave me alone and i wanted to use it for something and i felt that this was a perfect fit. then at the last moment i added a parallel, cause my brain thought it would be nice. i have to say, it is

okay, so this is just pure self-indulgent rambling about my Sleep Token fics, but writing gave me a lot these past months and i really love it and still have ideas that i wanna share. huge, huge thank you to everyone who's read anything i wrote, left kudos and comments, you are wonderful, i hope you are doing okay! 💕 drop by my dms/tag me if you want to yell at me or something

not gonna say have a great next year or anything like that, cause i don't like making a big deal out of the beginning of a year, as it just puts pressure on it and that's so unnecessary. have a lovely day, i hope you got some rest and could do something you enjoy and i wish all the best to you! see you around! 💖

[mareenavee]

WIP Whenever!

O but it still counts as Wednesday for a few more moments.

I was tagged by the unsurpassable @thequeenofthewinter, @dirty-bosmer and @ladytanithia!

I tag in turn the invincible @paraparadigm, @changelingsandothernonsense, @thana-topsy, @kookaburra1701, @gilgamish, @elfinismsarts, @miraakulous-cloud-district, @nuwanders, @saltymaplesyrup, @archangelsunited, and @polypolymorph!! AND YOU. If you've not been tagged, consider yourself tagged now. I've tagged you. (:

I have had a lot of chaos this week and did a bunch more editing than writing, but some words did go on the page.

Without further ado here is a very WIP slice of chapter 29 of The World on Our Shoulders. Some of you have seen some of this already (:

(Minor amounts of spooky contained herein.)

When Teldryn slept, it was with the same unease that had settled over the entirety of Tel Mithryn since his return with Nyenna. He wasn’t sure, most of the time, if the shadows he was seeing were real or imagined. In one instance, as he lay on his bedroll in the main room of the tower, figures seemed to inch through the darkness toward him, like Dremora or goblins or something worse. He heard them haunting, stalking — heard the rattling breaths of hunched over forms, faceless when they turned to the light. Saw a gleam of gold, perhaps, or the flutter of crimson fabric, tattered by untold ages. Felt clawed hands reaching out for his neck, the gale of blighted winds, laced with sulfur and ash, burning as he’d breathe in. He’d been paralyzed, powerless to stop it as they advanced. He couldn’t quite see them, but they were there. They were real. And not. As was the memory of a keening wail, Nyenna’s, from before she woke from her condition. As was the deep, rumbling laugh and the beating of an unnatural heart. He’d tried to escape, to end the nightmare, but he could not move. And so he’d let the shadows take him as he’d always done. As he’d still do. He knew, deep down, they’d be back. They always would.

He did finally wake, terror past, but still too close. He wasn’t sure of the time, but even Neloth had wandered somewhere else — likely the tower with his precious library. He glanced back, and found Nyenna to be gone. There was a moment of panic before he remembered, then a sinking feeling of dread as he closed his eyes. The echo overwhelmed at first until the sound of it became less foreign. Light like threads of gold trailed off in the darkness until they formed a whole person in the distance. Nyenna was up on the dock where the silt strider traders stopped, off the west tower. For a moment, he felt nauseous knowing this as clearly as he did. It was almost like reading someone’s mind. Intrusive, in its own way.

Teldryn stood and stretched. Nyenna’s things were scattered over the chairs and nightstand; he hadn’t noticed it all before. Her cloak was gone, as was her mask. But the rest remained. He sighed and took a moment to put everything back, then hefted both of their bags over his shoulder.

The plan was to catch the traders and barter for passage back to Raven Rock. Neloth insisted she not make the journey on foot, and this was the best compromise. She refused to take another Teleportation spell cast by his hand, though the rejection had been in her usual gentle tone. Teldryn knew Neloth had been thoroughly put in his place by the events of the last two weeks, but he had not found it in himself to apologize to her directly. It’d be years of working through it before he’d say anything, if he could manage at all. But the offer was a good first step. He couldn’t blame her, though, for not trusting him. Not after everything. As often as not, he did make it rather impossible.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ARI FIRST THINGS FIRST I'M SORRY I DIDN'T TAG U I DIDN'T WANNA PRESSURE U OKAY I'M SORRY second of all how many of them can i ask about bc......... what if i wanna know about all of them? what then ari???? have u thought about that?????? okay okay no but i do NEEEED to know about sappy drunk!sugu bc helloo??? that sounds so good and also woLFY SUGU AND LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD????? you're crazy i'm so obsessed already and actually sick!satoru too bc he's gonna be such a baby i need to hear about it OK ONE MORE BECAUSE NOBARA??? OH MY GODD SKATERGIRL NOBARA PLEAAAAASEEE that's literally genius wow i can't wait to hear about all of them i'm so excited!!!!!!!

- @softgirlgonehaywire

MICKEY PLS DONT APOLOGIZE PHSJDHD i wasnt planning on doing it at first cause i didnt know if ppl would be interested 😭😭 BUT then i saw that u and everyone else was doing it so i immediately caved AND IM SO GLAD I DID u picked some of my personal faves !! ari/mickey connection going steady hehe

i’d apologize in advance for making this long but i feel safe w u this is just our average communication let’s go <33 here is some tea for u while u read !! 🍵

OKOK SOOOO first of all ; sappy drunk!sugu x reader….. yes. this one is sooooo special to me its been downright rotting in my drafts since the beginning of time and its literally all written out ?? but i need to delete some stuff n polish it overall….. </3

BUT yeah the plot is basically just: sugu goes out to a bar w satoshoko, gets drunk even though he literally never gets drunk, and so reader discovers that he is, in fact, the sappy kind. (shocker!) it’s just sooooo sickeningly fluffy and he’s so whipped. ☹️☹️ he’s like a puppy. all he can think of is reader and how much he wants to put a ring on their finger HE’S SOOOOO

here are a couple snippets hehe. literally just disgusting amounts of Fluff for my soul

sho 🚬 : anyway he’s been asking me where u are for the past ten minutes pls come i can’t stand him sho 🚬: he’s crying. you: HUH???????? you: WHY??? 😭😭😭 sho 🚬: dude i dont know sho 🚬: pls come get him he’s being so sappy that satoru’s abt to throw up

”— and i have you.” a stutter of your heartbeat, a jolt throughout your chest. his stare almost burns, but you can’t avert your gaze — suguru looks positively lovesick. admiring you with a dreamy gaze, as if he can’t believe you’re real. he reaches a hand out; cradling your face with one big palm, the rough pads of his fingers smoothing down your skin so very gently. smearing his fondness from your jaw to your cheekbone, so loving your breath hitches in the back of your throat. a soft, content sigh spills into the air, like a prayer that doesn’t need any words. his smile is serene.  ”my angel.” that peaceful smile changes shape, shifting into a big, giddy grin. it lights up his whole face. a chuckle leaves his lips, content and delighted. ”i’m the luckiest guy in the world.”

”sugu,” you whine, dragging his name out childishly. ”we need to sleep…” ”sorry,” he only murmurs, muffled into your skin. he doesn’t stop, though, planting a wet smooch on your cheek, and then another. you squirm a little in his hold, and he emits a shaky breath. ”jus’ love you so much…”

i just think sugu has so much love in his chest that he like Never lets out bc he knows it can feel overwhelming unless he shows it in small doses but then he gets drunk and everything just SPILLS out . idk but my knees would buckle

AND THEN ….. wolf/hunter!sugu x little red riding hood!reader OHHHH MICKEY IM SO HAPPY U ASKED…. this concept entered my brain and has Not left even once but its still just this vague idea in my head. im just so interested in fairy tale aus!! i figure its probably gonna end up kinda twisted? or maybe a mix between sweet/twisted if i can pull it off 😭😭 bUT the main idea is that sugu plays the part of both the wolf AND the hunter, reader doesnt know who to trust but sugu is their only option either way. at first i was thinking of making him like a whole Wolf Man but now im leaning towards it being more symbolic … the trustworthy hunter was the ”wolf” all along yk? IM SO FOND OF THIS ONE i cant wait to write it !!! ive been itching to write something a lil more gritty anyhow :33

AND AND SICK!TORU X DOTING!READER ….. our babyboyyyy he’s so :((( he’s just so sick and delirious and trying to convince reader that he’s Fine Actually but he’s just burning up :(((( and so he has no choice but to face the terrifying reality of Being Taken Care of By Someone He Trusts. horrifying. as soon as he’s slightly better he’s just throwing himself over u and begging for kisses though (he’s an opportunist <33)

this is another one that’s just veryyyy fluffy n sweet!! AND another one that i have written out i just need to delete a lot of stuff bc its like . over 10k i think I GOT CARRIED AWAY OK…… 😭😭

aaand here r some snippets from this one!! just overflowing w gojo love <333 he’s our sweetiepie our little baby angel i need him tucked into bed

”really, baby,” he slurs, voice raspy and dry. attempting to get up, arms straining under his shivering body. ”there’s no need f’ —” unceremoniously, his limbs give out beneath him, and he tumbles back down. face falling back into the mattress, as he croaks out a meek little wince. (the sound makes your heart squeeze tightly in your chest.) ”ah,” he hums, muffled into the sheets. resisting the urge to close his eyes. ”that’s… annoying.”

”baby, i think my fever’s going up again…” satoru pouts, looking up at you. ”can you check?” a raise of your eyebrow. you give him a smile. ”this is the fifth time you’ve asked me to check your temperature, toru.” ”just wanna make sure,” he whines. ”please?” an exaggerated sigh. then you’re leaning down, soft lips meeting his forehead, humming against his skin — and, just like last time, and the time before that, his temperature hasn’t gone up. ”you’re good.” ”oh, thank god,” satoru exhales. ”are you sure? like, a hundred percent sure? maybe you should check again. just in case.”

”you’re cute,” satoru croons, still cradling your cheek. tenderly, soft fingertips against your heated skin. all you manage is a meek little furrow of your brows, but that only makes him chuckle again. after a silent moment, you part your lips. ”… you can.” he blinks. still smiling. ”stay forever, i mean.”

yeahhhhhh. yeah. u know how it is. (i am consumed by love for this silly little 28 year old man)

AND FINALLY LAST BUT NOT LEAST … skatergirl!nobara x reader <333333 my most beloved ever. i only have a vague outline but im sooo in love w this concept mickey im overjoyed that it caught ur eye….. just . picture nobara being covered in hello kitty band aids bc she’s not very good at skating but she just thinks it’s SO fun and she goes to the skate park w maki while wearing acrylic nails and she’s just having such a blast :(( grinning and giggling!!! she’s literally my daughter i adore her ….

my idea for the fic is basically just that reader has this weird one-sided rivalry w nobara bc they’re a bit jealous of her + she’s so pretty it makes them angry LOL and they assume that she doesnt notice them at all… but in reality nobara is like HIGHKEY crushing on reader she does these complicated flips JUST to impress them she’s a lovergirl!!! so it’s basically just super duper fluffy n sweet hehe <33

TYSM FOR ASKING MICKEY i had to take my time w this one hehehe . i hope u’ll enjoy these fics when theyre posted although it’ll probably take a while… COVERING U IN KISSES WATCH OUT

[elskamo]

Dafuq is happening with Ron? The Masterpost!

Hey all, sorry it's taking me a while to update you properly about what's going on IRL. There is... a lot that's been happening and some of it has taken me awhile to wrap my head around and figure out how to explain so please bare with me.

If you just want to know what's happening with my various blogs and accounts (on Tumblr that'd be this blog right here and @official-fresh-tv-blog) then feel free to skip to "My Fandom Situation" at the end of the post (hence the Total Drama tag attached). At some point I'll be updating the abouts on both blogs so if you CBA to read this then you can at least get a vague idea of what's changed when those update. You may also be able to kinda twig one of the main announcements from the tags as well.

I'm gonna put all this shit under the cut because it is LONG. As always if I forget to tag something please let me know so I can add it ASAP. And if you have any questions please don't be afraid to ask me outright.

My Health Situation

As I've mentioned before both my physical and mental health are utter shite that I barely get any help with. I have very little recollection of my childhood, especially before age 8 or so, as an adult when it comes to my dissociation I only lose a couple of days memory at most. Despite this I recently lost two whole months of my memory, hence my disappearance around late April/early May to late June/early July.

A couple of weeks ago I was finally able to speak to a doctor on video call about my mental health and to get a clearer picture on what my dissociation actually is. Given my background and anecdotal evidence from friends (but not family because they notice absolute fuck all) I'm pursuing a more up to date diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder which the doctor agreed is likely (as well as FINALLY getting an official C-PTSD diagnosis). In total honesty I've had my suspicions since around 2018/19 when friends started mentioning suspicious changes in my behaviour and voice as well as my apparent use of a completely different name at one point.

When I finally started interacting with other people who dissociate within the Total Drama fandom during the lockdown in 2020 I realised what might be happening and kept telling myself to reach out to other users but I was far too scared to say anything due to my own lack of knowledge on DID and Dissociation in general and my confusion about how I could possibly not know for so long. If there are any users with DID that are willing to reach out I'd really appreciate it, especially as I'm getting used to the various terminology and figuring out how to interact with the rest of the system, most of which understandably ignore me for the most part given some of my previous shitty and ignorant behaviour and reluctance to get properly diagnosed.

I still haven't told the family I am in touch with simply because they don't particularly give a shit about my mental health, they tend to just assume they know what's going on and run with that. The fact that zero people in my family noticed anything strange when other people around me did also put me off saying anything, right now I'm planning to wait until I have an official diagnosis but I may say something sooner.

I'm waiting on two appointments, one with the same doctor to catch up in September and one with a psychologist who'll have a deeper understanding of trauma and Dissociative issues. I'm also waiting to start new meds as mine have been completely overhauled, this means I'm currently having withdrawal symptoms coming off the old ones and when the new ones are finally ready I'll likely be a bit erratic for the first few weeks due to the side effects. Apologies in advance, I promise several people IRL have been informed and will be keeping an eye on me to make sure I'm okay until the meds kick in properly.

Following my two month memory lapse I also had Covid for the majority of July and am still kinda foggy now, which explains the rest of my absence. I'm not entirely sure what my physical health is like due to having lost my memory but my chronic pain doesn't seem to be flaring up at the moment at least, that being said I was having major problems with my chronic pain prior to my two month dissociative period.

On the plus side of things I finally have an appointment booked with a new NHS gender identity clinic in London so that I can get assessed to start Testosterone therapy! At the moment it's tentatively booked in for September 3rd however I've been told they may be able to move it to a different time slot if they can find one with one of their newer staff given how difficult it'll be for me to travel up there for the early morning (for context it takes about 3 hours to get to London from where I am in Dorset and another 3 hours to get back, most of the appointment slots are at 8 or 9am!)

My Home Situation

Absolute fuck all has changed with my home situation. I'm still stuck at the house where I was previously abused a lot and am not currently in a position where I can find a new place or move in with someone else. A couple of friends have offered to let me sofa surf back and forth between them if needed but I have no immediate long term plans.

I found out a couple days ago that Damien decided to make a post on my behalf venting about my home situation which I will now be deleting. Essentially while everyone in the household caught Covid last month my relationship with my Mum swung back to being quite abusive again and she threatened to kick me out. That being said, I will acknowledge she has genuinely been trying to understand my situation and be a better mother towards me since I became homeless the first time around back in 2018 and no physical abuse has taken place since then.

Right now it appears I'm safe but at the time Damien posted there appeared to be a very high chance that I was going to be kicked out and have nowhere to live. My mum hasn't brought up her threats again since Damien's vent post so hopefully we still have somewhere to stay for the time being.

My Money Situation

Leading on from my home situation, my money situation has worsened drastically. As many of you know I've been fighting a losing battle for years attempting to get my disability benefits back and since being made redundant twice I've been living solely off of the single component of Universal Credit which amounts to less than £400 a month to cover all my living expenses. My housing benefit is gone until I'm able to leave Mum's and I'm still waiting for my appeal to get the unfit for work/sick portion of my Universal Credit back.

My mum refuses to budge on the amount of money that I pay her to stay each month and she has recently been getting me to pay for more frivolous expenses like multiple takeaways because she hasn't been buying enough groceries and being ill has left the three of us unable to cook. Factor in other expenses like transport to get to appointments, the most basic phone bill I can get away with, and unexpected emergencies like my tech breaking and I'm no longer able to cover my living expenses at all and no longer have any savings money left to cushion the blow.

I'm now at a point where I'm in my overdraft every month and resorting to begging friends for loans to keep me afloat so I don't get charged. The situation with my health has not helped with being able to find work, either freelance or a permanent role, so unless I'm able to get money from things like my Ebay, Etsy, or Redbubble stores I don't have anything else coming in that can help me cover my most basic needs.

I'm doing my best to get back on track with job hunting as both the job centre and the local Restart program I've been forced to go onto are insisting I need to be applying for a certain amount of jobs per week and attending regular face to face appointments with them otherwise they'll take away my benefits. I've almost finished updating my CV and website and have a mandatory job fair I've been told to go to on Wednesday so hopefully I can find work again soon, but given my health situation and the fact that I shouldn't actually be working this may still be very difficult.

I know I post about this a lot and many of you have your own financial struggles but please if you're able to, donate to my Ko-Fi page or buy something from one of my stores. Even if you're not able to help me directly just sharing them with your friends/followers can make a huge difference!

My Fandom Situation

You may have noticed by now that my Etsy store has been closed for a few months and I've gone back to posting a lot more infrequently on my Tumblr, DeviantArt, and Archive of our Own accounts. I've also been letting asks pile up in my inbox. I'm attempting to catch up on my fandom stuff as fast as I can but obviously I'll be doing this around all the IRL stuff I'm dealing with.

For some reason a lot of the asks and messages I've been receiving have been straight up disappearing, right now I only have one ask on each blog and one private message to my knowledge, everything else has somehow gone. If when I post answers to both asks you don't see yours answered please feel free to send it again and I'll get to it as soon as I can! If it's something I'm not comfortable answering I'll say so outright so you know that I did receive and view your ask.

I have a massive backlog of fics and art I'm trying to finish off and post, again I'll get to these as and when I can before starting on any new projects. I've been keeping a spreadsheet of all the smaller pieces I want to work on for people to vote on once I've cleared my backlog. My larger projects will take a little (okay, a lot) more time to post.

I'll only be reopening my Etsy store once I'm certain I've got a handle on my health, as usual I'll only be accepting a few orders at a time and keeping the prices fairly cheap so they're more affordable for people that want to buy. As always, Redbubble is always active as is my Ebay account, though there are still a few products I need to update or upload on both platforms that aren't on there yet. If there's any art you'd like me to prioritise adding for you to purchase on Redbubble please feel free to reach out and let me know.

I'm going to be updating the about posts on both my Tumblr blogs soon to better reflect what they're for and who is posting. I'm currently planning on making the Ronnie Rambles tag my personal one instead of using it just to show which posts have been queued up ahead of time. The two alters that I've talked to will definitely have their own tags as well though I have no idea how often they'll be posting.