#i appreciate it for what it is but wish it was different

[atzaurora]

a cute date with mingi involved painting his nails and picking rings to go with the nails

ahhhhhh it would be so cuteeeee i bet he blushing so hard

[˗ˏˋ ´ˎ˗] 𝒩𝒂𝒊𝒍 𝒫𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉.﹙송민기﹚(0.9k)

𖥔 afab!reader x mingi ; dating ⸼જ Having a date with Mingi, where you get to paint his nails... ➤ imagine (fluff) .ᐟ.ᐟ >none< .ᐟ.ᐟ

꒰🖇꒱ such a cute idea! hope you like it :3 enjoyyy

if you have any ideas or wishes let me know, requests are open

here's my [𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕]! ; [𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕] here! ; [about me] + [guidelines]!

reblogs appreciated

You sat on your soft bedspread, sorting all kinds of nail polish in different colours. You and your boyfriend had agreed to say home tonight, instead of going out for a date.

"So, what's the plan tonight?" Mingi asked, peeking into the room with a gentle smile.

You looked up, meeting his eyes. "Just a little surprise for us," you said, holding a finger to your lips. "But you have to sit down first." ── ࣪˖ MORE BELOW

He obeyed, curiosity piquing as he sat beside you. The room was filled with the faint scent of vanilla candles, casting a warm glow around the space. You'd spent hours preparing for this moment, hoping it would be something special and fun to do together.

Mingi's eyes widened as he saw the nail art supplies laid out. "You're going to paint my nails?" he asked, his cheeks already beginning to blush.

"Only if you want me to," you teased, holding up a bottle of shimmering blue polish. "It's your choice, after all."

He didn't even have to think and immediately nodded. "Of course, I want you to," he said, extending his hand. "But only if I get to pick the design."

You took his hand carefully, inspecting his nails. They were clean and well-kept, perfect for you to get started. "Alright," you said, "what colour would you like?" He chuckled, admiring your excited face for a moment before deciding. "Mhm...maybe black." You sighed, giggling at his obvious choice.

"Of course. But pick another colour for the details and extras, it can't be all black," you said, smiling up at him. You appreciated that he let you do this, even though he liked to keep his nails simple and natural most of the time.

He nodded, looking around at all the colours. "This one looks nice," he responded, pointing at a wine red polish. You gasped dramatically, surprised by his good colour matching. "Ooh, very nice. These two go well together."

He laughed, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. "Okay, hands please." You stuck out your own hands to grab a hold of his.

Mingi's blush deepened, but he didn't protest. He watched as you painted the first nail with careful strokes, the black polish gliding smoothly over the surface. The silence was filled with the comforting sound of the TV playing a random sitcom in the background. You both chuckled at the occasional laugh track, the tension in the air easing slightly.

"I think I'm done with the base. Now we're going to let them dry for a bit," you said, looking at what you have done so far with a satisfied smile. His hands glid out of your grip as he lifted him to get a closer look.

"You did good, baby," he praised, poking out his lips for you to kiss. You laughed softly, gladly accepting the offer by pressing your lips against his.

You two continued to watch the TV for a bit while waiting for the polish to dry. Your head laid on Mingi's shoulder, while he watched out for his nails so they wouldn't get smudged. Your gaze drifted away from the TV and landed on your desk where a box of jewellery was placed.

As Mingi stayed on the bed, you made your way to the desk, suddenly having an idea in mind. You rummaged through the box, looking for rings that matched the nail design.

You found a a few that you thought would look good with the black and red, carrying them over to him. "Look what I found," you squealed, opening your hand to show him the rings.

"They look really good, sweetheart. I'll wear them once my nails are done, okay?" he asked and you nodded, placing the jewellery on the bedside table.

"Alright, then I should get these done." You took his hands into yours again, making him sit up properly again. Mingi felt his face heating up again, simply by having your hands holding his. He was down bad...

He watched closely as your face grimaced with concentration, trying your hardest not to mess up the lines. It only took you a few more minutes, till you giggled excited, finally done with your work.

"Look!" He immediately held out his hands in front of him, looking at your designs carefully.

"I love them baby! You're really good at this." He smiled from ear to ear, seeing how your face lit up once you heard he liked them too.

You got up, collecting the rings from the table. "Now...," you sat back down again, signaling him to stick out his hand again. "...the final accessory."

You slid the silver ring onto his ring finger, before placing the other two on his other hand, on both the index and middle finger. You held his hand up to the light, admiring the final result. "What do you think?" you asked, your voice full of excitement.

He stared at his hand, the rings glinting in the candlelight. "It's perfect," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

You couldn't help but smile at his reaction. The evening had turned into something even more fun than you'd planned, but you loved it. You liked seeing Mingi this way, vulnerable and open and not trying to hide his true excitement.

[ovaryacted]

COMPLICATED

─ Javier Peña x fem! reader || WC: 3.2k

SYNOPSIS: You begin to realize Javier's position at the DEA is putting a wedge in your marriage. It was only a matter of time before everything you've built crumbled once you reached your breaking point.

CONTENT/WARNINGS: MDNI/18+. NSFW. ANGST. Established relationship. Javier & Reader are Married. Marriage problems. Arguments & Confrontation. Thoughts of slapping Javi. Mentions to prior sex & intimacy. Javier is falling apart. Self-sabotage. Mentions of religion/faith. Mentions of the DEA & Javi's job. Both Javi & Reader are in Colombia. Reader's occupation is unknown. Spanish dialogue between Javi & Reader. Please proceed with caution if relationship issues/arguments/possible DV are a sensitive topic for you.

Disclaimer: I have not watched Narcos yet. This is all just my interpretation of another aspect of Javier Peña’s character. Therefore, it is not strict to the canon or details of the show.

A/N: I wrote this for @almostfoxglove's Angst Challenge for August and got Javier Peña, so this is what I came up with! I will admit, I rewrote this fic twice because my initial outline changed halfway, so I started from scratch and got this. It is angsty, and I do want to mention that this is a different take on Javier P., because I personally do not characterize him this way but I ventured out of the norm and put him through situations (I love him a lot though). Anyways, I hope you all enjoy. Reblogs, comments, and likes are always greatly appreciated! <3

NAVIGATION | MASTERLIST | AO3

You waited for him, the same way you always did.

Sitting on the couch and staring idly at the TV screen, you tried your hardest to find something to occupy your mind again. The cigarette comfortably sat between the index and middle fingers of your left hand, the weight of the two golden bands on your ring finger enticed you to take another drag.

You always hated how much Javier smoked. The stress from working at the DEA compelled him to go through two packs weekly, an ashtray present in every room of your quaint apartment, probably another on his desk at work. You didn’t predict there would come a time when you’d consider yourself a smoker, much less of cigarettes, despite recalling the multiple times you reminded your husband of how bad they were for his health.

“Those things will kill you before your job does, Javi.”

The irony in your words, a hypocrite of your own making.

You don’t blame him for not listening, either. Now you think you get the appeal of going through the cancer sticks one by one. You crave the high of the nicotine rushing through your veins with every inhale and relieving your jumpy nerves. The peace you’d feel for a few minutes was the only tranquility you could get in the hectic mess of your crumbling life.

You wish you knew how things got to this point.

The years blended throughout your relationship with the charismatic Javier Peña, a fine man you bumped into on your way home and accidentally sent all your groceries falling to the ground. Apologies poured out of your mouth repeatedly, and he bent down to help you clean up your mess, offering to cover the expenses of the ruined food you just bought with a faint smile.

The curl of his lips and the sparkle in his brown eyes bewitched you from the start, and you took the money he offered in your palm before he walked off, your sight trailing down on the cocky sway of his hips and the broadness of his back.

He dwelled in your mind like a phantom, haunting you in your dreams and inhabiting your senses. You didn’t anticipate to bump into him two weeks later while running errands, the smug look on his face at the sight of reencountering you so quickly didn’t go unnoticed. It was a simple conversation, a brief introduction followed by an offer for drinks when you both had time with reassurance that you would meet him under better circumstances.

The rest was history.

Sure, you knew Javier was a busy man, always on the run due to his highly demanding job you didn’t initially know of. From how he carried himself, you gathered he was associated with law enforcement, not from Colombia naturally, but perhaps the United States. You didn’t suppose he’d be affiliated with the federal government of all things, and the thought of what he was doing in the country worried you the first few months of being with him.

But all of your apprehensions about his professional occupation went out the window when you got into bed with him, limbs tangling into the sheets, and hushed promises whispered sweetly in your ear. All you cared about were the words he’d say as he took you every which way, claimed you his all over his apartment when you’d meet him late at night after a stressful work day.

That was the most intimate you knew him, in the throes of passion in which he seemed to be an expert. His hands strung your body with ease, pulling on the invisible red string that connected the two of you whenever his fingers wandered between your thighs. He drank every moan and cry of his name, hips moving against you so reverently others would mistake you for a place of worship.

It was a matter of time before dates turned to sleepovers, and your stay in his life became more permanent when you moved in with him. You didn’t object when he got down on one knee and popped the question you’d been waiting to hear after a year, jumping in your heels with a broad smile and tears streaming down your cheeks once he slipped the ring over your finger.

You never got the wedding you dreamed of since you were little, and you didn’t go on the honeymoon he promised you due to his prior commitments. Instead, you settled on going to a courthouse when you briefly visited Javi’s home in Texas and stayed in his government-covered apartment while in Colombia.

The signs of stress were there from the beginning of the relationship, but the rose-tinted shades you wore were a perfect fit. To you, ignorance was bliss, and you refused to pop whatever abstract bubble you found yourself trapped in with the man you’ve come to know as your partner.

You stuck by him when he needed you most, never opposing him when he sought after you for solace following the close calls he had while chasing down Escobar’s men. You kept your mouth shut when you saw him cleaning up the wounds he hid from you, locking the bathroom door behind him to avoid worrying you to such an extent. You didn’t utter a word when he started coming home later and wouldn’t give you notice, blaming the job and the intricacies of the caseload he was assigned to manage.

“I’m sorry. It’ll get better.”

You wanted to believe him, to think that somehow the craziness that was happening with the business of narcotics in Colombia would be slowing down, and your life would go back to normal, the way it should be. That way of life was gone. Sometimes, you think you’ve never had it to begin with.

You didn’t ask for this. Neither one of you did.

The disconnect between you grew after another close call on a raid, causing your first full-blown argument. The aftermath resulted in harsh kisses and bruises on your thighs from when Javi fucked you hard against the wall, holding you tightly as you scratched down his back. The subsequent times were like that; you could only communicate with him when your bodies engaged in the best way they knew how. All the pent-up frustration was released when he was inside you, groaning apologies and curse words as he filled you to the brim over and over, and you took it with a smile of forgiveness.

At some point along the way, there was no more fun to this game of tension you’ve created to ignore the elephant in the room. Not after the bickering turned into disagreements, your pillowcase growing wet with suppressed tears after a yelling match. The touches turned fleeting, the nights were lonely, and the animosity that wedged itself in your marriage thrived in the dismissive regard you both held for one another.

Your touch burned him more often than not; the last time he caressed you with care was lost to the ravages of his anxiety. All that remained was the past, the memories that you shared before shit hit the fan, and frankly, you don’t think you could take any more of this torture.

The other side of your bed stayed messy and cold, barely catching him when he left in the mornings for work. The caseloads kept piling on, the raids got more personal and farther from home, and the cycle continued to repeat itself. There wasn’t an end in sight, not soon anyway.

Stuck in your thoughts, you missed the instant the front door opened and closed, stubbing out your cigarette in the ashtray on the coffee table. You glanced over to see Javier stepping through the entryway, peeling his leather jacket off and tossing it to the side while holding your gaze momentarily.

“You’re still awake?” Javier asked you, hinting an edge to his voice as he spoke to you.

“Hello to you too,” you responded calmly, asserting your tone. “Couldn’t sleep. Figured I’d wait for you.”

“You don’t need to do that.” Somehow, the faux concern made you chuckle dryly, watching him walk past you to head right for the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of whiskey and leaving his back turned to you.

“And what else do you need me to stop doing?”

Your question forced Javier to pivot and face you, his glass sat on the counter as you observed him. Keeping your distance, you stood on the other side of the kitchen, leaning against the archway and crossing your arms over your chest.

“Tell me. What else do you need me to stop doing, Javier?”

He remembers when you only called him by signature terms of endearment. Baby. Honey. Amorcito; he particularly loved that one. Now, you addressed him by his first name as if it were its own curse word.

“What the fuck do you mean?” he raised an eyebrow as you continued to speak, malice brewing inside as you itched to say the things you’ve kept bottled up.

“It seems you want me to stop everything. You don’t even come home anymore. I forget you live here sometimes,” you said, trying to be sarcastic, but your words were as sincere as they were hurtful.

“I do come home when I can. It’s been busy at w-”

“Work. It’s always about work and your fucking job. Work this, work that. Do you ever get tired of making excuses for yourself?” His eyes narrowed, staring you down as his body became rigid.

“Do you think me going out there every day chasing down these fucking pendejos is a godamn excuse? No estás pensando con claridad.”

“Oh, I’m the one that lacks sense. That’s rich coming from you.” You started to laugh, standing straighter and looking at your spouse vexingly. “You don’t think going down this goose chase with your head cut off to catch Escobar is crazy? Te has vuelto loco, Javi.”

“I do this for you. For us.” You know he’s trying to convince himself of this lie more than you.

“There is no us if you’re not here! You haven’t been here for months! I don’t know shit about you anymore, and this job has turned you into a different person.”

It was wrong to raise your voice at him; the previous quarrels usually passed through intense conversations, and he’d walk out the door to leave you for the rest of the night, but it was never this intense. You think this time would be the dreaded catalyst you’ve prolonged to avoid, and there was no turning back.

“You knew what you were getting into when we started dating. I told you what I do for work, I told you how this was going to be. It’s not fucking easy. You know this.” He took another sip of his whiskey, gulping it down all at once, hoping the buzz would give him the strength to handle the onslaught of words he knew was coming.

“So now it’s my fault that our relationship is falling apart? What? I should’ve known better than to fall in love with you? Should’ve known better than to marry you?” You were inching closer, your hands flailing around as you spoke exasperatedly.

“Yes. Maybe you should’ve known better.”

The only thing that could be heard in the kitchen was the clink of the ice melting in Javi’s glass, reaching a stalemate as you stared at him in bewilderment and heartbreak. You stepped forward to meet him chest to chest, imagining yourself slapping the words clean out of his mouth. You opted for putting your pointer finger under his chin, the tip of your nail grazing the underside of his jaw as rage washed over you.

“You don’t get to say that to me. Not after everything we’ve been through, everything I gave up to stay here with you in Colombia.”

Tears graced your lash line when he looked at you again, your brows creasing as the mask you’ve worn for so long unraveled. You tried to stay the good wife; you did, but you were getting edged closer and closer to the breaking point. Javier wants to be surprised that you found the audacity to confront him like this, but he knows it was what he deserved. Perhaps he deserved worse for what he’s put you through.

“Why can’t you give this up? Why? You know how this is going to end. I’ll hear from Steve that you didn’t make it back from another assignment or worse. All of this and for what? Help me understand, please.” You begged him to see your pain, hoped to see things as he saw them, to understand why he was going to such great lengths to kill a man at the expense of everything else rotting around him.

“It’s complicated. Everything about this is complicated. The last thing I need is for you to get involved in this mess, too.”

“It’s always complicated with you.” You shrugged with a shake of your head, admitting your defeat.

“I sit here and wait for you to come home, and you don’t. You’d rather be out there, doing god knows what, while I stay and twiddle my fucking thumbs waiting for something to happen,” you looked down to the floor, staring at your feet as the emotions swirled inside you, losing control over the storm of their intensity.

“I don’t complain or say anything when you don’t come home. I get it, this is the job, this is what you have to do. But I don’t see you, Javier. You don’t talk to me, you don’t touch me, or even look at me…I don’t want this for us anymore.”

You didn’t think your words were getting through to Javi anyway as he remained quiet, the stinging bitterness festering before was forgotten and replaced by the dull ache of his heart. Hearing you say this to him hurt in ways grazed bullet wounds and rough tumbles to the ground couldn’t amount to. The self-loathing and anger that’s been building inside him after discovering all the corruption of his job settled in the pit of his stomach, bile rising to the back of his throat at the thought of it. He hated this.

“I don’t want this either. I don’t want to keep hurting you…”

I don’t want to lose you.

“Then why do you still do it?” You presented your left hand to hit his line of sight, gesturing to the two rings you wore, the ones he gave you when he swore to love you for the rest of your life. “Does this mean anything to you?”

It means everything to me. You mean everything to me.

The words were too heavy for him to say, refraining from confessing his true thoughts the way he wanted. His lips were sealed, but his eyes confirmed what you already knew. He was just too cowardly to do or say the right thing himself.

“I love you Javier, I do. So much that it pains me, but this is not a life we should be living. Don’t you want more than this?”

Of course, he wanted more. When he slipped that ring on your finger, he had already envisioned the life he had dreamed of with you. A quiet life somewhere in the countryside, away from all of the noise of the government and countries that were running rampant with issues he shouldn’t be responsible for fixing. He saw the distant future, a kid or two running in the yard while you sat on the porch to watch them, a look of peace on your pretty face as you peeked over at him from across the ranch.

A happy home, a happy life. That was what he wanted, what he prayed for.

Javier despises himself for being unable to amount to his dream for both of you. He’s so wrapped up in this nonsense with the DEA that he’s had tunnel vision so profound he can’t see the light anymore.

“I know you’re not going to stop until all of this is finished, I know that. But I can’t do this anymore. So I’m giving you a choice, the DEA or me.” His eyebrows shot up at the sudden ultimatum you’ve proposed to him, eyes growing wide as he comprehended the hand you’ve forced upon him.

“You can’t make me choose this, that’s not how this works. I can’t just drop everything for you, not now when we’re this close. Don’t do this to me, please…” his hands landed on your shoulders, squeezing them to make you rethink what you said before doing something you may regret.

“I don’t want to do this, but I have to,” your eyes met the brown irises you used to spend hours looking at and admiring, the spark in them long gone. “I can’t stay here and watch you destroy yourself, Javi. I love you too much to witness that. Please don’t put me through that.”

Walking away from him and heading to the bedroom, you knew nothing else was left to say. You couldn’t save him, your love couldn’t save him either, and you thought maybe backing him into a corner would knock some sense that he’s been missing.

As you entered your bathroom to look at your reflection, you heard the front door open and close again, exhaling a shuddering breath. He’ll be outside for the night, maybe stop by a bar and drown his sorrows before going to work again as if nothing happened. Your eyes turned bloodshot as you cried, your hands covering your face to muffle your sobs as you sank to the tiled bathroom floor with your back to the wall. You brought your knees to your chest, comforting yourself and hoping something would come in the form of a miracle.

Maybe you’ll wait for him a little longer. Maybe you’ll leave your ring on the dresser with a letter, find your way back to the United States, and rebuild your life, forgetting all about Javier Peña. Maybe there was nothing left to give, nothing left to save. Maybe you just didn’t know what you were doing, and you went over your head.

You prayed for whatever God existed to give you the strength to persevere through this troubling time. In that silent prayer, you wished for the man you still loved to come back home to you, for him to want a better life for himself and to end this torment he continued to put himself through.

Slipping into the empty bed like you’ve done so many times before, you tucked yourself in the sheets that still smelled like him, glimpsing at the window to count the rays of moonlight that peeked through the curtains to help you doze off.

You dreamed that in the morning, you’d wake up to strong arms wrapped around your waist, apologies and promises muttered alongside kisses to your temple as he reclaimed you as his, the way he used to do before all of this. You desired to give him what he wanted, be the person he needed to show him better and save him from himself. But that was wishful thinking.

The man you knew, the man you loved, wasn’t here anymore, and there was no way you could bring him back.

©️ ovaryacted 2024. Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI. Support your fellow creators by reblogging, commenting, and liking!

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Spanish Translation: pendejos - idiots, No estás pensando con claridad - you're not thinking clearly, Te has vuelto loco, Javi - You've gone insane/you’re crazy Javi.

[pseudophan]

did you not like wad? whenever i see you mention it i detect a hint of eyeroll

i like the show itself but something about that whole time period.... idk i'm bitter about it lmao i defended dan a lot as it was going on but now that we're back in the good days i'm like god that was all SO annoying actually. i totally understand him wanting to do his own thing for awhile and i don't hold any of that against him but it was like, the way they just ended Dan And Phil on the day out of nowhere and then i'm meant to give a fuck about dan's solo projects like no fuck you you don't get to just leave with zero warning and ghost all your fans but still expect them to care about your projects. except he does technically get to do that and i did care about his projects and again like i getttt it i just think if he'd given us like idk, a month's warning maybe, at least, the whooole thing would feel different. alas he did not. so wad and dystopia daily and the book and all of that are projects i consider objectively pretty good but i can't ever wholeheartedly genuinely enjoy any of it the way i wish i could cause it just makes me really sad and kinda pissed off

none of this matters anymore though, water under the bridge, that's kinda what this entire tour is about and if they're willing to let our past transgressions go then i'm willing to let that go. also it's evident dan does feel really bad about it dhcjshxjd that's the thing about parasocial relationships like does he actually owe us anything at all? nah. but at the same time, profiting off of your audience being so emotionally attached to you does make it a bit of a dick move to suddenly just vanish into nothing and he clearly agrees with that like i'm not gonna spoil any specifics of the tour for those who haven't seen it but it's very much a message of "we forgive you for x and hope you can forgive us for y and lets all move forward into this new era without resentment" and idk i really appreciated that

but yeah as much as i'm not actually upset with dan anymore i do still get kinda bitchy about that era lmao idk if i have it in me to fully get over it. it obviously also doesn't help that it coincided with when my own life kinda stopped like there i was back in my childhood bedroom in a town i hate with no friends and no job and nothing to do and even fuckass danisnotonfire had decided he didn't want anything to do with me anymore??? like damn okay fuck my life i guess

[megameatymatt]

Step By Step - Matt Sturniolo

summary: Matt finds out about y/n's ED relapse

WARNINGS: e@t!ng d!sorder, swearing, throwing up, gagging, crying, self-hatred/insecure, feelings of hopelessness, overthinking

If you or anyone you know is dealing with an ED or substance abuse, call or text:  1-800-662-4357.

word count: 766

requested?: nope

A/N: I was feeling sad so all of you must suffer with me. Feedback, interaction, and requests are appreciated! ok bye

Pink: Y/n

Blue: Matt

------------------------------------------------------------

Matt knows you've dealt with an eating disorder in the past. He wasn't there during it, but you've talked to him about it and answered some of his questions. It didn't make you any less perfect in his eyes. To him, all that mattered was you being okay. But you weren't.

Four years later, you feel like you're falling back into it all over again—all the progress you've made, discarded within just a couple weeks.

You stare at yourself in the mirror and wish someone different stared back at you. You pinch at the skin on your thighs, stomach, and arms and wish the fat would disappear.

You sob silently. How can someone hate themselves so much, How couldn't you hate yourself so much, Y/n? Look at you, just look at you! You're lucky matt even stays. Thoughts circle around your head like a halo. Leaving you in nothing but shatters.

You walk to the toilet, shove a finger down your throat, and gag

The cycle begins.

Two weeks later, you walk into your kitchen to find Matt standing there. "Good morning, angel, I'm making pancakes. How many do you want." The thought of putting food in your mouth makes you sick. "Um, Matt, I'm not hungry." Matt frowns. "You love my pancakes, baby, what's the matter?" you shuffle through your brain, thinking of an excuse. "I'm full from last night, Y'know, the pizza." You, Matt, nick, and Chris had had a movie night. The boys ordered pizza and snuggled up on the couch as you all giggled.

"I watched you the whole night, Y/n, I didn't see you take a single slice," he says, flipping a pancake. "In fact i haven't seen you eat much at all lately, You alright?" Eat? How can he suggest such a thing? doesn't he want me to be pretty? i wanna be good enough to wear a bikini. I wanna be good enough to wear skin tight dresses, i wanna be good enough for him.

You shake away these thoughts trying your best to keep your composure. "I'm good, just give me one okay?" you say letting out a sigh. He smiles "Comin' right up princess" He hands you a plate with a pancake, syrup, whipped cream and some strawberries. Matt has already started digging into his own plate.

just a few bites Y/n, just let Matt think you're okay

You pick up your fork and knife with shaky hands, cut yourself a piece and quickly shove it it your mouth. Your body wants to immediately reject it, but you take a few more bites.

As soon as you swallow your first bite, it flies back up your throat. You get up and run to the bathroom. Matt follows you with concern. "Are my pancakes that bad?" he says, running after you. But as he walks into the bathroom. He notices how frail you've become. Tears are running down your eyes, and he finally realizes. You finish puking and flush the toilet and lean against the wall, almost lifelessly.

A few tears escape Matt's eyes. How could he be so stupid? how didn't he put it together? It was so obvious. He could've helped you. Why would you do this?

He runs out of the bathroom to get a glass of cold water, then quickly comes back to hold you. The only thing that could escape from his mouth was "Why"? "Just look at me, Matt, I hate it, I hate my body so fucking much, Matt, you don't even understand," you say, trying your best to yell, tears running down your face.

Matt is completely taken aback "But you're so beautiful, baby, You're hurting yourself. You were doing so good." You sob in Matt's arms, barely able to speak. "I-I'm sorry, Matt. I just wanted to be pretty." Your words felt like a knife in Matt's stomach.

''I tried so hard to fight it, Matt, I didn't want to go down this path again. I promised you I wouldn't. The words spill out like vomit, "But I did it anyway, Matty." You whine, "And it's worse than before. I'm so ashamed Matt. I'm sorry i'm putting you through this" Tears rush you your face, and you're shaking uncontrollably. The knife in Matts stomach only gets pushed deeper and deeper. "I'm sorry i never noticed Y/n, i'm so fucking stupid. The signs were so clear, i could've helped you." He wipes the tears off your cheeks. "But i'm gonna help you now baby." "I can't Matt" "we're gonna do it together okay? Step by step, Y/n. We'll be just fine"

Taglist: @sturnobsessedwh0re

[littlemissaddict]

Assistant!Reader x John Price fluff

I've well and truly been drawn in by the tf141 men, this short drabble was inspired by my Friday at work and how I wished I had Price (or any of the 141 really) to comfort me...

Warnings: Mentions of periods, cramps, reader being in pain

Being Price’s assistant on base, her own little desk just outside his office. Greeting him every morning with a freshly brewed cup of tea for him and a wide smile. Today was no different, or so she tried to pretend it wasn’t except the smile was forced and didn't quite meet her eyes. Price, of course, noticed and made a point of asking if she was okay as he thanked her for the tea. She brushed him off assuring him she was fine as she left his office to go back to his desk.

She buried herself in her tasks for the morning, hoping that the distraction would take her mind off the cramps in her lower tummy. She was still hunched over her desk as Price left his office at around noon for his meeting with Laswell and she forced herself to sit upright as he stopped at her desk.

“Are you sure you’re okay, you can take the rest of the day if you need to” his worried eyes bore into hers as she once again brushed off his concerns, unsure of how to broach the subject with her boss as it didn’t feel right coming out with ‘Oh you know it happens every month, I’ll get over it’ so instead she settled on an appreciative smile as she waved him off to his meeting.

He’d been gone around half an hour where the pain seemed to steadily increase and she almost regretted not taking Price up on his offer to take the rest of the day. Instead she rummaged through her bag in search of some painkillers, anything to take the edge off of the pain, quickly downing them with the water she always carried with her. Dropping her head down against the desk as she wrapped her arms around her tummy, she figured she’d be safe like this until the tablets kicked in as everyone on base was probably down at the mess hall for lunch until Johnny’s voice came around the corner.

Sitting up quickly to avoid being caught in the awkward position she could tell by his face, the same worried look that Price had given her earlier, that she’d been caught.

“Ya okay Bonnie? D’ya need me to grab the Capt’n or a medic?” he asked cautiously, his movements slow and his voice soft as if worried she’d startle like a wild animal.

“Johnny I’m fine, please-” she grimaced, gritting her teeth as another cramp hit her, “Please just leave me be” she all but pleaded with him. Thanking whatever higher being there was that he’d gone without fuss as she resumed her earlier position.

Little did she know Johnny had gone straight to Price, sprinting through the hallways looking like a madman as he tried to find him. When he did, he skidded to a stop in front of a confused Price and a very unimpressed Laswell. “Ya bird needs ya” he panted, ridiculously out of breath from the chase, it'd be almost comical for a trained soldier if he wasn’t so worried.

Price didn’t even stop to ask where she was or even correct Soap for his comment of her being his, just headed in the direction of his office as he figured she wouldn’t have left her desk. He knew she was a stubborn one but not when it came to her health, now though she was going to listen to him even if it meant he had to stay with her until she was better.

She hadn’t even heard Price come back, not until he was right there, scooping her up into his arms as if she weighed nothing even despite her protests. He headed carefully into his office, kicking the door shut behind him before sitting on the old couch in the corner of the room and bringing her down with him. She sat across his lap, one of his hands gently rubbing across her lower back as the other rested on her knees.

“Now I know you said you're fine but tell me, what’s wrong?” he hums, his chin resting on her shoulder as his hands continue to gently rub back and forth against her skin.

As strange as it feels to be sitting like this in her bosses lap, to have his hands against her skin and even just to be this close to him, she can’t help the way her body relaxes against him, finding comfort in the warmth of his body that has even managed to help her cramps subside to a dull ache. Or maybe the painkillers have kicked in she doesn’t know but it feels good not to have the constant pain anymore.

The hand that’s still resting against her knees squeezes softly in silent encouragement for her to speak as she remembers he asked her a question. “It’s nothing really, just the perks of being a woman” she mumbles in hopes he gets the gist of what she was trying to say without her having to have a full blown conversation about periods with him, not that there would be anything wrong with that she just doesn’t have the energy for it at the moment.

He nods in silent understanding, slowly moving his hand from her knees to her tummy as he carries on the gentle movement there in hopes that it will help ease her pain. Judging by the way her body somehow relaxes further into him and her head drops to rest against his shoulder he figures it does as she mumbles out a soft thank you. As she falls asleep against him Price plans to put together an emergency pack to keep in his office just in case she ever need anything, pain killers, pads and tampons (he plans to ask some of the female medics the most popular types to get just so he’s covered all bases), heat packs, chocolates (and if his team ever find them, they have a habit of getting into places they shouldn’t, he’ll make it clear that they are none of their business and are specifically for her and whoever disobeys him will be running laps until they drop) and whatever else he can come up with that will make it easier for her.

[lifes-pinata]

Duck and Mytho, A Relationship Analysis

BY POPULAR DEMAND (10 notes and 1 prompt by a blog I follow and admire)

Duck and Mytho are obviously so very important to each others stories. Without Duck, Mytho would have remained a heartless doll forever. And without Mytho, Duck would have remained a simple bird. The story cannot exist without Duck, and up until the last few episodes, Mytho remains her primary motivation.

Which is why is was so surprising to me that the way their relationship resolved was so..... Unsatisfying.

Now when I say that, I am not talking about Siegfried and Tutu's resolution, which remains one of the most touching scenes of the show. I am specifically talking about the relationship between Mytho and Duck.

For the first 14 episodes, Duck and Mytho's friendship was a slow but steady burn. Duck is an anomaly in Mytho's small world. Even heartless, he doesn't quite know what to make of her. "Fakir and Rue don't say things like that" he says in episode 3, when Duck reacts to his hurt hand.

Duck, as a person, represents something Mytho never encountered even when he was Siegfried. Her simple, straightforward kindness is so different from Rue's desperate, grasping love. Fakir's poisonous protection, and even the blushing, tittering classmates that never dare to speak to him.

And even though Mytho can't express it, I think it's really valuable to him. Early on, Duck is the only person capable of making his loneliness disappear. Not Rue or Fakir, who he's known for years (which he says to their faces oh my GOD) but Duck. The first request he makes is that she stays a little longer.

The entire first arc Duck continually proves herself to be trustworthy. Once Mytho returned to school after receiving the feeling of fear, Duck tackle hugs him, saying she looked for him everywhere. She knows about Princess Tutu, and is the only one who listens to him. Who doesn't talk over him. She brought him an umbrella when he was waiting for Tutu. He values her opinion enough that he asked her opinion on gifts to get someone. And yeah maybe he could have asked anyone, but we never see him seek someone out until the Raven's Blood kicks in.

In episode 14, Mytho says to Duck, straight out "You're the only friend whom I can tell everything." And then? They never interact again? Huh???

Well. That's not entirely true. There is one more scene where Duck and Mytho interact, if you believe that Mytho was lucid enough to truly count it. Episode 24, where Mytho has fully succumbed to the Raven's blood, and as a result has turned into a raven himself. He runs outside, after being hidden away by Rue, and finds Duck. And what does he do? He asks her to dance, just as he did on the day of the fire festival. But this time, Duck doesn't answer. She backs away from the monster he's become, just like everyone else.

To its credit, that is a resolution, but it still doesn't sit right with me. It feels too bleak in a story where hope overcomes everything else. A spot where Drosselmeyer's tragedy wins.

The thing is, I understand why they did it this way. One thing I have always appreciated about Princess Tutu is that there is no wasted time. Even at the beginning of the show, when it seemed lighter and sillier, every episode contained important information. From the very beginning, they were building to the finale.

The second arc of the show is even more this way, there is no wasted space. Where would they even put Duck and Mytho interactions? Duck is reckless but she knows better then to approach Mytho when he's actively trying to rip out the hearts of their classmates. If anything, trying to shoehorn interactions would come across as forced, and could even cheapen their interactions in the finale.

But as much as I love the scene where Mytho realizes that Princess Tutu was a duck. I also wish he had a moment to realize that the duck was Duck.

Because Princess Tutu performed magic and returned heart shards with her beautiful dancing.

But Duck did the hard work of being human. Of living and loving and trying and failing and getting back up.

It was Duck who saved the town in the end.

And it was Duck, who was ultimately forgotten.

[ms-cartoon]

Difference between a good father and a bad father

(This is mainly for folks who have at least watched Soul Eater. In case you didn't and you don't know who the red-haired man is below, his name is Spirit Albarn, a character in the series. He, like Stolas, is a divorced father. He cheated on his wife not once, but multiple times and they separated cuz of it. It's because of this that the mother is not in her (ex)husband or daughter's life and the said daughter did not have a good relationship with her father. I guess you can say his situation is a little similar to Stolas. Only difference is Spirit is a good father)

This is Spirit Albarn from the anime Soul Eater

This is Stolas from the webshow, Helluva Boss

What do these two men have in common?

Similarities

They're both fathers

They each have one daughter

Don't have the best relationship with their daughters

They're divorced

Reason(s) for said divorce: Cheating/Affair

Both are horny perverts that like to sleep around (though in Stola's case, he has eyes set for one person)

Both around 30 years old (not really the point of this post, but it's so much of a coincidence I wanted to point that out)

And now here are the differences (the best part of this post)!

Differences

Spirit:

Is actually trying to be a good dad.

Is in his daughter's life and makes it his goal to have a good relationship with her.

Is much happier spending time with his daughter than anyone or even any woman.

Pays attention to his daughter and will be quick to be there for her when he feels she needs help, which is nearly in any case.

Won't hesitate to protect when she's in danger. Only reason why he can't is because . . . plot?

Doesn't make excuses for his actions.

Wouldn't gaslight anyone just to avoid being at fault.

Is regretful of his actions and probably wishes he could fix things, however, there's nothing he can do about it.

Still loves his ex (or so he claims) despite everything and like I said, probably wants to fix things with her, but as far as I'm concerned, she's simply DONE with him (she doesn't even make an appearance in the anime). The best that he can do is move on and focus on his daughter. He still would make passes at women, which was what got him divorced in the first place, but the way I see it, this is his way of trying to move on if they can't work anything out (not to condone that, ust saying). But we're not talking about him being a terrible husband here.

Stolas:

Despite caring about his daughter, he DOES NOT pay attention to her as often as he would think or we would hope. Neglecting her if you will.

Flirts with his sex target in front of his daughter which is very inappropriate. Spirit kinda did that a couple of times too, tho it was unintentional on his part, at least most of the time. In Stolas's case, he did it while fully aware of Octavia's presence and didn't even consider the fact that she didn't want to see it.

Makes excuses for his actions. Regardless if his reasons for it were true, it doesn't justify his them and with the way the show comes off, it makes it seem like they want us to justify the affair.

Not ONCE do we hear him apologize to Octavia for his actions or behavior. If he did apologize, it wasn't a full apology. In fact, Octavia was the one to apologize to him even though she didn't need too.

Between searching for his daughter when she is lost and hanging out with Blitzo, worried about what he's got going on, he goes for the latter, once again, being neglectful.

Not to say Spirit doesn't have his own flaws in being a father, but if Maka (Spirit's daughter) were to look at the dynamic between Octavia and Stolas, I'm sure she'd appreciate Spirit a little more. He may be a horndog, but at least in his case, his daughter ALWAYS comes first. Seriously, no way he would ever choose some woman he barely knows over his daughter.

[sugarushwriting]

lee heeseung is obsessed with you

“night night.”

will this be a one part drabble or more?

not proof read

love the comments, reblogs and likes!! appreciate feedback as well!

i am open to requests and will try to fulfill it or let you know if i will decline 🫶🏽

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

“he’s a little weird, don’t you think?” your friend joy asked.

“he’s not weird, joy. he’s just shy!” you defended the poor guy.

the guy in question was lee heeseung. smart, handsome, funny, and an introvert sadly. he would talk to people, but he was so shy, especially around girls, not typically the one to initiate conversation first.

you have known him for a little while. you had a few classes with him as you shared the same major. just recently you were partnered with him for a final class project. he was shy the entire time you both worked on the project, but so insightful bringing in another point of view to the assignment.

since then, you made sure to always say hi and smile to heeseung.

little did you know, this fed into his obsession with you.

joy gave heeseung a dirty look, as he stared off into space, deep in thought. he was just minding is business, and you found it annoying how much joy was always talking down heeseung, all because he was different than other boys on campus.

as the professor rambled on, you were more than thrilled for winter break to begin. this was your last class of the week, and then you would have 3 weeks off from school until the next semester.

“and that class, is why you should never trust just anyone.” the professor ended his lecture and told the class to have a good break.

you would have him next semester for economics 2 class.

you packed up your things along with joy, looking over to heeseung seeing him doing the same at a slow pace.

“he even matches your pace to make sure yall leave at the same time.” joy scoffed.

heeseung then quickly finished packing his things, leaving the class room and you two back. you turned to joy, raising an eyebrow with an annoyed look.

“he probably heard you bitching.” you sighed. “enjoy your break!”

“yeah yeah, i still have 2 more classes this week.”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

you walked to the nearby coffee shop to get your usual drink. it was getting colder, and you knew snow would soon fall.

you opened the door, the bell chiming above, and when you got in line, you noticed a familiar figure.

“heeseung!” you greeted happily.

heeseung turned around, his big bambi eyes brightening up at hearing your sweet voice. he nodded and bowed sweetly, with a smile “hi.” he waved shyly.

“next!” the cashier called.

heeseung was next. he ordered his favorite drink and yours. he turned to you, “it’s on me.”

“aw thank you heeseung!” you smiled happily. you don’t understand how people didn’t like this man. he was so sweet, handsome, thoughtful, and kind. and his shyness was honestly attractive to you.

after paying, you followed heeseung to the side where the pickup portion of the counter was.

“wait, how did you know what i usually ordered?” you asked.

heeseung stuttered nervously, “when—when we worked on our project. i remember you ordering it a few times.”

you nodded in realization. “well thank you for paying attention to what i like. more than what my ex ever did.” you smiled rocking back and forth. “and heeseung, no need to be nervous around me, okay?” you said sweetly, and placed your hand on his upper arm.

heeseung blushed in excitement to your touch. he wish he wasn’t wearing a jacket so he could feel your hands on his bare skin.

the barista called heeseungs name, and he gathered both of your drinks. “would you like to sit and drink with me?”

you nodded, “sure!” you chirped happily,

that’s what heeseung loved about you. you always were trying to be optimistic, and happy, even in the toughest times. he noticed how kind you were to others, especially animals, and how you rarely got angry and frustrated unless someone was being rude. you were smart and beautiful. he loved your eyes, your smile, your nose shape, your body shape.

he loved the way your lips turned to an ‘o’ when you were surprised, and wondered if that was what you looked like when—

“heeseung?” you snapped your fingers in front of his face, startling him out of his daydream

“so—sorry, i got side tracked trying to remember if i locked my front door.” he laughed.

“understandable.” you giggled.

heeseung was enjoying your company alone, until a man from the football team walked up to say hi to you.

it’s not like the guy was flirting, no, you actually happened to know this guy since grade school and reconnected freshman year. he was a good friend. plus he had a girlfriend he was loyal to of 2 years.

but heeseung didn’t know that and he didn’t care. he just didn’t like the idea of any man but him near you. near what was his. even though you didn’t know it yet.

you bid goodbye to your long-time friend, noticing heeseungs face turned in a scowl.

“heeseung, are you okay?”

heeseung quickly fixed his face with a smile, “oh yeah sorry.” he sighed and took a sip of his drink. “so who was that?”

“a friend from childhood. we recently reconnected.”

“just a friend?” heeseung asked, leaning in closer.

“just a friend.” you agreed with a nod.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

you were getting ready for bed that night, when you found your apartment colder than usual. checking the thermostat, it was set at the right temperature, so you walked around your small apartment looking for the source.

“why is it so cold?” you asked yourself, rubbing your hands together. you turned the thermostat up a little, and it kicked on.

walking to your bedroom, you shut off all the lights and got comfy in bed ready to watch some television before falling asleep.

except for some reason, something felt off. like you were being watched. you sat up in bed, taking in the environment of your bedroom. nothing was out of place. not even a little bit.

you felt naked and exposed. even though you were dressed in plaid pajama pants and a sweatshirt.

you’ve watched those movies and shows. where a peeping tom hides cameras in bathrooms and closets and random places.

you threw your comforter off your body and quickly walked back to the living area, double making sure the door was locked.

check.

next you checked all the windows.

check.

you checked the small hall closet and any small places.

check. clear.

next, you walked back to your bedroom.

you walked to the window.

check. locked.

however—it felt cold in this area. like a lingering breeze. you never opened this window, you knew that for a fact.

could have someone came in?

impossible, you lived on the third floor.

your brain racked so many ideas and thoughts that you didn’t notice a dark figure come into your room, until you felt a presence.

you quickly turned around, coming eye to eye with those bambi eyes.

“heeseung?”

“can’t have you fighting me, now can i?”

“huh?” you stupidly asked and a cloth came to your mouth, as heeseung smothered you with it.

“night night.”

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers : 1x08 After the Rain (Part 2)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

This is going to be a very musical issue, guys ;)

Boxing Match

So. We're here at this boxing match where Will's going to face an ethical dilemma, Simon's going to be involved, Lord Featherington is going to face some consequences of his actions, and Anthony's going to fuck Siena against a wooden beam in the back.

And Colin... is going to sit and happily chat with Benedict in the background. Apparently, he's not in a moody mood over Marina anymore.

I like the top hats though. There are times when this show veers so far into fantasy that I don't necessarily recognize the 1800s. But the top hats feels very much like 1800s. And I appreciate that.

Well, this scene might not really have anything for me to meta but... I'll bring in a BTS thing...

Apparently, Jonathan Bailey, Luke Thompson, and Luke Newton spent Season 1 harmonizing this little tidbit and it makes me wish that Bridgerton was a musical, because these boys can sing, and this is absolutely delightful. I wish this was better quality and longer.

(Bringing it up here - because I think this was filmed around the time of this boxing match? The costumes look similar.)

Anyway... there should be more singing on this show. Just, there should. That's how I feel about that.

Speaking of more singing...

Family Time

Omg, it took me forever to find this gif.... But I wanted to use a gif here because I wouldn't be able to still Colin because he's moving so much. Anyway...

We've got one of our big family scenes again. And as I've said before, I've always liked these scenes because the family dynamics are always richly on display, and one of the aspects the show does really well. The interplay between all of the different storylines is great here, as each one kind of gets a little nod as they weave in and out of the scene.

So, let's talk about this almost blink-and-you-miss-it Polin moment.

Francesca is back in town, so are Simon and Daphne, and the family is in high spirits (since we're at the end of the season and wrapping this thing all up). And they get Colin to sing in a catchy little tune (which I'll get into in a moment). And, as much as Colin was sulking and in such a bad place in the previous episode, he's bounced back rather well. And while he's not over it (Colin, we're learning, seems to hold onto things -- and the Marina stuff isn't done yet), he's come back from the heartbreak rather quickly.

Which... I think really speaks to the nature of Colin's feelings more than anything -- as they weren't that deep. Do I think Colin cared for Marina? Yes. Do I think he got caught up in a grand fantstical romance? Yes. Do I think he actually loved her? No. Because as his family members mentioned in the previous episode -- he didn't really know Marina. He just liked the idea of her. And those shallower feelings are easier to bounce back from.

So, we have here a Colin who is in better spirits. And the thing that really sticks out to me in this scene is how young Colin looks. He's singing what's essentially a child's play song, like London Bridges or Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. Colin was pushing himself to be An. ADULT. But he's not fully there yet. And I feel like this scene kind of pushes Colin back to where he was at the start of the season. That sweet, charming young kid. Only he's not that anymore. Not really. Experiences do change a person.

Meanwhile, we have Penelope. She comes into this a little hesitantly. She's clearly there for Eloise. This is the first time we really see her in the family dynamic. Even though we don't see it -- it's implied that Penelope is often over there, and feels pretty comfortable being in the Bridgerton drawing room. She grew up there. She and Eloise's friendship formed there. And there she can be around Colin in an appropriate way. It is a home for her.

So, it's interesting that she comes into this room with that hesitancy. She takes a moment to watch Colin while he's singing - and I do believe in this moment she doesn't regret what she's done with Lady Whistledown. Because she's seeing Colin be happy again. Things are back to the way they were. And Colin feels like /her/ Colin again. And, oh, her longing look for him. Her love is always just radiating through her that it can't be contained.

There is also a small, little detail that I absolutely love. As she comes in, he's in the middle of a line, and his voice wavers and catches when he sees her. And I mean, not only does he see her - which is notable in that she's the girl who hides on the sidelines and doesn't get notice. But the sight of her is enough to catch him off guard. There's an unresolved tension there. And the moment acknowledges it, even if it can't address it.

Eloise, oblivious as usual, is going to jump in and steal Penelope away -- she's got news about Lady Whistledown. And the look of pure panic and terror on Pen's face as she worries that Eloise has discovered her secret...

But Eloise isn't there to unmask her, she's there to say that her sluething has brought her to the conclusion that Madame Delacroix is Lady Whistledown.

Penelope has a myriad of emotions that cross her face at this news. She's relieved that Eloise hasn't figured out her secret. But she's grateful that Eloise is on her and her family's side, and that Eloise's intentions are to have Lady Whistledown make a retraction to restore the Featherington name. It's an act of true friendship -- and Pen is so grateful that Eloise is her bff.

But also, there's a little bit of deflation there, too. It's a hard read, but the conversation takes a turn -- Penelope commenting on the fact that it's impressive that Madame Delacroix can run her business and be Lady Whistledown. And I'm not sure if it's out of a twinge of sadness that she can't tell Eloise that she is Lady Whistledown, or the fact that she's concerned that Madame Delacroix might be posing as LW, or just the fact that even if Penelope is rich -- Delacroix being able to live her life freely is a sad reminder that she can't.

Eloise loves the idea that Madame Delacroix can live life as she pleases, and aspires to be like her -- the unmarried and doing her own thing being the biggest appeals. But Penelope admits she can't be like that. She tells Eloise the fact that she has a sister who is a duchess will make it easier for Eloise to do whatever she likes -- including being a working, unmarried woman.

But Penelope isn't like that. Here she blames it on her family, and it's tattered reputation. Eloise can coast on her family's good fortune, but Penelope will always be fighting against her name and placement in society. But what is unsaid, too, is that while Penelope wouldn't mind making her own money (and, in fact, she already is), she does want to be married -- she does want love. And herein lies the comedy/tragedy of Penelope/Eloise friendship -- each has what the other one wants.

Of course, neither of these issues are going to be resolved here, so Eloise does something she doesn't even want to do with her siblings, and shares her chocolates, which brings a grin to Penelope's face. because they are good bffs.

And, of course, the ending moment is punctuated by the end of Colin's song, where he dissolves into a fit of laughter. And I just adore when Colin laughs, because he's such a sweetheart when he does.

But, okay, let's take a second and talk about the song -- which is called Now We Are Met. And, guys, I tried. I really tried. But I couldn't find much about this song, other than it was written by composer Samuel Webbe sometime during this era? There's not much to meta out of it -- other than it's a fun little song that you sing with your family around the piano, and it's usually done as a round. In case you're unfamiliar with rounds... here is a choir singing it (which, honestly, is really cool)

I would love to know the reason the show picked this particular song. Is it just a children's song that kids in the UK sing? Or is there some other meaning to it? I have no idea. Would love to hear from anyone who knows more about it - as I love discussing the use of music within story.

Yellow

Tying it to the boxing scene, Lord Featherington won a bunch of money, and now the Featheringtons aren't as badly off as they were - (even if society isn't that fond of them, still), and they're able to get bran new dresses for the Hastings' ball. Prudence is excited because she gets to let hers in. Phillipa finds hers to be perfect.

And... Penelope's is yellow.

It's such a great little comedic beat. (and, I mean, the bit with Portia telling Phillipa she can get married now that they can give her a dowry and Phillipa asking when it was lost is so hilarious. I'm so glad they pushed in on the comedy angle during Season 3.)

And, oh Penelope just isn't there yet -- she doesn't have the confidence to push against her mother's wishes. She doesn't have the power to let her clothes reflect the person she really is. She's still going to be that girl stuck in yellow, clinging to the walls of the ballroom for just a while longer. And that's okay. We've got a lot of great story to go!

And on that note, I'm going to end this musical based post with a cover Coldplay's Yellow -- a song, as you know, means a lot to this story, as we'll talk about a lot more come Season 3. :)

[bhnsby]

what are your thoughts on the potential dynamics between the roti cast members and owen, if he had been on all stars?

GOD I WISH.

Owen deserved it and should’ve been there instead of Sam or sierra. I don’t care he should’ve

I love Owen and he has great chemistry with like every character ever.

I think Jo and Owen could’ve been peak. Owen gets along with everyone. And half of Jos dynamics are her taking advantage of someone stupid or naive. Owen is both. He definitely would’ve become a little pawn for her. He’d be a mix of Cameron (his pushover-ness) and lightning (his idiocy) to her, so I can definitely see her wanting to use this to her benefit. And Owen just sees the best in everyone. It’d be like intentions al had with Owen mixed with heather and Duncan’s way they acted around Owen. I also think it would be funny if like, she genuinely starts to like him a bit since he just lets her be bossy and competitive and such. Like I can imagine her thinking he’s not too bad and definitely going easy on him. Also it could give her some development after roti, where she realises to appreciate people that give her respect, and that she doesn’t need to force it out of people and sometimes people will just give it to you or something idk I’m going too roti action Jo development fan fiction now.

I can also see him being friends with the friendship trio just because they’re all nice. I’d like to imagine Zoey being rather,,, confused by him. Since he was a season one finalist but just clearly does not fit the idea of what a finalist should be. She’d probably be really interested in him and same with Cameron. They both want to analyse him like a bug in a jar.

Uh Sam was just Owen in all stars so like. I don’t think anything interesting would come out of them.

Same with Scott and lightning I just can’t see anything fun or intriguing here.

I mainly just think Jo would have a good dynamic with him, which is very telling of the all stars writing because roti would be a very different story. But the writing for all stars sucks and they don’t do anything interesting with the characters or dynamics other than what they do with Jo.

Anyway Owen great not a bad season for him peak tdi stop being Owen haters

[bamsara]

Apologies if this is rude and feel free to ignore this but have you ever thought about making a Patreon tier for solar lunacy updates? It might help keep your work more protected then ao3 ^-^

I'm sorry, but I cannot do that! Not only is not right legally (at least in my country) but I have a moral stance on not putting written fanworks behind a paywall and keeping fanfiction free. Even my art works on patreon are just chill early access/wips, meaning if someone isn't a patreon they don't need to worry about missing out because it will be shown on my tumblr eventually. This info is in my FAQ page

The patreon is more just to voluntary support me in general (and to get stickers, but those are physical handmade items I mail out) so currently SL is going to sit in a google doc until later

[willyhoos]

the mikes.. the michaels, even...

[sskk-manifesto]

Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me

[alwaysrunningoutoftime]

sydcarmy intimacy in fics i would take in canon instead of a kiss (alternatively the sydcarmy love language):

having a proper honest and vulnerable heart to heart post the freezer

properly creating a menu together with balanced dishes between the two and fusions (source)

sharing a notebook filled with sydney's ideas and carmy's drawings (source)

carmy opening up to sydney about his struggles

sydney opening up to carmy about hers

resting their hand on top of the others

taking a minute to breath, resting their heads on each other (source)

carmy breaking down crying while sydney holds him (source)

sharing a meal together, sharing a spoon (source)

cooking a meal for the other

cleaning and wrapping a bandaid around the others cut (source)

cooking in a kitchen outside of the bear, moving together like a synchronized dance (source)

carmy driving sydney home

carmy gifting sydney with a scarf

going to the farmer's market together

going on food tours together

carmy being invited to the adamus house

carmy seeing sydney's childhood bedroom

sydney seeing carmy's desolate bedroom

sleeping over at each other's house after working on a menu together late into the night

watching a tv show on the couch together

[undertheredhood]

jason accidentally trauma-dumps to this masked vigilante who he’s somehow immediately comfortable trusting while willis todd who is not dead and is very much still alive (but still hasn’t told his only living child yet) is internally screaming “WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY PRECIOUS BABY BOY?!?!?!?”

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

i think the reason i’ve had to give up on watching hotd is because i can’t separate it from fire and blood.

i enjoyed fire and blood, fell in love with those characters, and was so excited to seem them brought to the big screen and yet it’s too different. and yet it’s still based on fire and blood so i should technically love it but it’s different and therefore i’m always disappointed because hotd could’ve been and should’ve been something amazing to me, and yet it’s not because it’s not fire and blood and therefore i can’t enjoy it in its own right because it’s not fire and blood and it’s not those characters stories it’s something different using those characters names so i end up feeling disturbed and disgusted by hotd…

does anyone understand?