#i can choose not to believe them bc 1) i don't know it was them for sure who sent it

[creatingblackcharacters]

on the topic of fandom racism.. wanted to ask an outside opinion on this.

so without much detail bc i don't wanna get this person harassed or something, i'm in a fandom where most of the characters are japanese and look pretty similar, so the diversity is Not Great. recently i saw an artist, who is white, draw a character with slightly darker skin than the rest of the cast as Black, where he was ambiguously brown before. my problem with this as an outsider is that i think that plays into a ton more stereotypes than if he was just tan or something. this character is regarded to be misogynistic, overly sexual, and especially to his #fffff white japanese (girl) friend.

i, as a white person, would like to approach this artist and ask if that's really the message they wanna send, but god forbid i do not want to sound like those people that believe in "black-washing" or just hate to see more diversity in an anime lineup. would it be white knighting to point this out, or approach that, hey, maybe your only person of color in this cast shouldn't be the one that acts Like That...

Hm. I see what you're saying. I'd suggest a few things, which is really my go-to for everyone white fighting fandom racism:

1) first, look out for the voices of Black fans in that space and see what they're saying. If they are perturbed by what they see, then I would amplify their voices and support them first. Let them know they're not crazy. They're the ones experiencing the harm, let their voices be the ones prioritized. If no one Black has said anything, that could be a sign that this entire fandom isn't safe for that kind of feedback (which... Often.)

2) look at that person's page to see how they treat this character. Do they actually offer them depth? Are they a fan? Have they shared anyone's good perspective of him? Do they actually care about him, and think his being Black serves a better narrative? Or is it really just this character is a douchebag and now he's "Black" because they wanted some diversity points without thinking about it. Hell, does the original media do right by this ambiguously brown character lol? Because that can often be the larger issue too.

3) does this person positively interact with Black people at all? Like people, opinions, topics, politics, anything at all? Or is this their Token Black Blorbo Barbie™? Because that's a red red flag lmao.

4) if you still feel strongly about it, send them a DM. I'd say make sure to be genuinely polite, not because you should be respected more because of it, but so that it's on record that you wanted to give them the space to amend ("Hello, I mean no harm, but I was worried that this may-") You're white too, so it'll be safer. DMs are really a kindness, a last chance for grace; sometimes people are just like "fuck it, that's a racist and imma treat them like it". And I don't begrudge them that, this shit is exhausting and enraging.

5) accept that you may very well approach with the best intentions, and this artist may very well act a complete asshole* about it. They may make excuses, the classic "I would never be racist", they may accuse you of all those things that you just said, try to cast you as the problem, and their friends may very well make you out to be the racist for pointing out the racism. Welcome to fighting antiblackness and racism in fandom 👍🏾 it's a minefield out here.

*keep in mind, even if they "respond sweetly", the whole "thanks 💕" schtick is still them being an asshole. Racism in sweet words is still racism.

6) if they do respond like an asshole, it is not a reflection of you, but of them. 👍🏾 They are now purposely choosing racism. Block them and move accordingly.

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

someone appears to have sent me a tumblr chat message and then (I can only assume) immediately blocked me, because for THREE DAYS I've had a little "1 new message!" bubble but there is NO NEW MESSAGE.

It is driving me fucking insane. I just want to see the chat message. I just want to be able to mark it read. Is this what you wanted, random person? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED????

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hi there!

If you still take stardew valley requests please write hurt/comfort with Shane and (gn) reader about Shane getting progressively more worried about the farmer each time they go mining because of all the injuries they get there to the point where one day he snaps and breaks down in front of the farmer. It would be nice if you could show shane slowly loosing his mind each day but that would probably make the fic longer so no pressure. just pls make sure theres comfort after the hurt, bad endings make me sad :(

Thank you in advance, and even if you choose not to write this i hope you still have a lovely day.

I'm always down for Shane angst <3

In my main file I fear he's like this bc I'm constantly coming back from the dangerous mines/skull caverns on like 1 hp at 1:50 am

......

(Spring, Year 1)

"Hi, Shane!"

"God, what do you want now?"

"Nothing. I'm off to the mines." You grinned at the rugged man in front of you, holding up your pickaxe. "I'm shooting for level 120 this time, and hopefully I can pick up more gems along the way."

Shane raised a brow. "...and I care because?"

"You don't have to. Just thought I'd let you know."

'What? Like you think I'll go looking for you if you pass out? Forget it. Whatever happens is your own damn fault."

"I know the risks, but thank you." You politely answered, ignoring his blunt rudeness before checking the monster slayer guide. "The Adventurer's Guild wants me to slay a ton of bats...only 200 more to go."

""Adventurer's Guild?" Sounds stupid and childish." He grumbled, taking a swig of joja cola in his grasp. He was already running late to work, and he didn't want to get yelled at by Morris.

And he certainly didn't want you, the new farmer who made it their mission to annoy the shit out of him everyday, being the reason.

"Well it's neither of those things. It's actually thrilling." You chuckled, before digging an emerald out of your pocket. "I meant to sell this yesterday, but you can have it."

"...the hell? What am I supposed to do with this?" His brows furrowed at the green mineral you shoved into his hand.

"Keep it..for good luck, I guess?" You shrugged. "You can put it in your pocket and forget about it if you want. I just wanted to give you something nice. Plus, not to be weird, but...it kinda reminded me of your eye color."

Normally, any other villager would've been thrilled that you wanted to befriend them with gifts that reminded you of them.....

Yet Shane just stared at you as though you've confessed to stalking him.

"If you wanna give me something that's actually "nice", buy me a beer at the saloon next time." He sneered, brushing past you and continuing towards JojaMart, while you headed north of town, already knowing what you're gonna do tonight.

When you looked over your shoulder, you could see him pocket the emerald rather than throw it away despite him passing by several trash cans.

And you smiled.

.

.

.

.

.

.

(Present Day)

"Awh, you still held onto that emerald even after all this time?"

"Yeah, so what? It was the first gift anyone's really given me.." Shane confessed, heat rising to his cheeks as he held the mineral between his fingers. "I never believed in all that crap about crystals and "energy" that Emily talks about. But..I just like keeping this one around. It's like...erm..."

"A testament to the start of our friendship and eventual marriage?" You cheekily grinned as you polished your weapon, before looking to your husband.

He nodded. "Exactly what I was gonna say."

"I know you so well." Chuckling, you walked over to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm gonna head to the mines, okay? Welwick says the spirits will shower everyone in good luck. I wanna see if the fabled prismatic shards really do exist."

Almost immediately, Shane froze..and he found himself wanting to desperately say "no" and convince you to stay on the farmhouse.

But he didn't know why.

From the moment he met you, he knew you sought adventure and profits in the mines, fighting all sorts of monsters for the Adventurer's Guild. He's seen skeletons, mummies, and golems caged up at Spirits' Eve festivals, but never the wild ones below the surface who attacked you relentlessly.

Yet you never let the constant dangers deter you from exploring.

Mining was exhausting work, yet rewarding every time you cracked a stone open to find a diamond or discovered a treasure chest. With the materials you've gathered, you were able to craft some rings to wear, enchanted with powers to help make your excursions easier and safer.

Despite being well-prepared, though, Shane did have his concerns...especially as once you came home after clashing with skeletons, a scar on your head from a flying femur bone that still hasn't fully healed.

You only went to Harvey to get it checked out after your husband--who was your boyfriend at the time--insisted on it.

Even before that, he'd see you around town, bearing a new bug bite, scratch, burn, bruise, or bandaid on your body.

It never worried him before, but after that skeleton incident, he finally understood that those monsters were real and you were seriously getting yourself hurt.

He'd go to the mines with you if not for his fears that he'll only make things worse. There's a good chance he'll slow you down and find himself getting swarmed by slimes, bats, bugs, and whatever the hell else was there....and he wasn't exactly the most fit to swing a sword or pickaxe.

Simple walks made him tired.

What good would he do?

"Shane? What's wrong?"

Blinking, he snapped out his thoughts and saw your concerned face. "Nothing, sweetheart." He dismissed, giving you a little smile. "Just be careful out there, alright? I'll take care of things here."

"Thank you, baby." Smiling back, you gave him a kiss before heading out the door with your backpack and tools. "Off to the bottom of the mines I go!"

Shane tensed.

"Wait-"

As quickly as the door opened, it slammed shut, and he was left by himself in the cabin.

It was an uncomfortable silence.

'Maybe I should've tagged along.....buh, what am I saying? They'll be fine. They do this all the time. Stop getting so worked up, idiot..' Clearing his mind yet again, he went off to check things around the farm for you, deciding to watch TV later on.

There was gonna be another Tunneler's game tonight, so at least he had that to look forward to.

Nothing like that, some good food in the fridge, and this cozy cabin he got to call home...

And it was all because of you.

If you could build everything here and still having the energy to go mining and fight monsters, why should he worry?

.

.

.

.

.

1:20 AM

After a productive day, Shane managed to fall asleep early for once.

Only be woken up by the creak of the bedroom door.

Light almost immediately flooded his vision, stirring him from his slumber as he grumbled and tried to shield his eyes, wondering what time it was.

"Fuck..morning already-?"

"No, honey..it's...just me. Sorry.."

He blinked, sitting up to see that it was only you coming into the room, removing your rings. One of them served as your light source, yet it didn't hide the numerous scratched and bruises that littered your skin.

And they were all fresh.

"Babe, wha...are you okay?" Shane was now fully awake, watching as you peeled off your jacket and trousers, tossing them into the corner of the room before dragging yourself into bed.

Only then could he see your injuries up close and personal, and his heart began racing. "What happened? You look like hell."

"I'm fine, Shane. I just..need to sleep it off.."

"B-But...there's blood everywhere.." He mumbled, his eyes going to the clothes in the corner. "I can call Harvey-"

"No..don't. I already patched myself up. I'll be fine in the morning..I just wanna be here with you." Smiling weakly, you kissed him, before putting the prismatic shard into his hand. "Look. It exists...haha...it's so pretty, right? It's yours."

He didn't know what to say, staring dumbfounded at the mineral.

What hell did you go through to get this?

And as much as he loved it..why get it for him?

Why risk your life?

But when he looked back to question you further, you were already passed out beside him, looking peaceful despite the wounds on your body.

Eventually, he slid the prismatic shard under his pillow and laid back down, only to hesitate in wrapping his arm around you.

All he could do was gaze at your exhausted face..and the dried blood under your nose.

Least to say, he had trouble falling back to sleep.

..........

Ever since that night, Shane's grown increasingly worried over your safety during your mining trips. And it began to affect his usual routine around the farm.

In fact, calling it "worry" at this point would be a heavy understatement..

It became straight-up paranoia.

Whether you headed off to the mines or Skull Caverns early because of an "extra lucky day" or simply because you needed a specific resource, you'd always come back home the same way:

At later hours, with more injuries and bandages than last time, constantly on the verge of passing out and barely able to hold a conversation with him.

Of course, you'd have breakfast with him, and you'd never leave the farmhouse without giving him a kiss...but it did nothing to ease his mind, as he'd constantly see your wounds and dread whatever horror stories you were about to tell him.

Even though you're perfectly nonchalant as you talk about a serpent who tried wrapping itself around you and squeeze every last breath out of your body, it made Shane feel utterly sick to his stomach.

How could you be so calm after so many brushes with death?

He didn't understand.

On the surface, he seemed fine with you leaving. But when you did, he'd find himself turning to beer to calm his nerves..although most days he was able to resist the urge and occupy himself with farming tasks or video games.

Despite this, he hasn't outright told you anything. He knew mining was your passion and thought you'd chastise him for "worrying over nothing".

So he kept it to himself, thinking his anxiety was being stupid.

Then the final straw came the evening when he got a call from Harvey's clinic around 5PM.

One that he hoped to never hear:

You passed out, and were currently being treated for serious injuries.

He bolted out the cabin, all the way to the town square and damn near broke the door down. There, Harvey, Linus, and Marlon were at your bedside, the latter two having brought you in after seeing you fall unconscious in from of the elevator, covered in blood and shrapnel.

Fortunately, you were expected to make a full recovery with just stitches and some IV fluids to rehydrate your body...but you still owed Shane one hell of an explanation.

This time around, you landed in an "infested" area of the 100s, trying to use a bomb to kill off most of the monsters.

Only to trip over a stupid lava crab and drop the bomb after you just ignited it, damn near losing your leg trying to kick it away from you in time.

And by the grace of Yoba, you were able to limp your way back to the ladder, return to floor zero, where Linus so-happened to be passing by the mine entrance.

You gave the poor old man quite a fright, as he didn't know how much blood on you was from the monsters...or you.

In the end, the bomb left shrapnel in your flesh, searing your clothing and requiring stitches to ensure you didn't bleed out. You appreciated Harvey for his quick work and for Linus and Marlon for taking you to him.

However nobody in that clinic was more terrified over your condition than Shane, who was in disbelief that you were able to stand and walk back home with him after getting discharged.

He wouldn't talk to you, although his hands shook as he helped you into bed, still sleeping beside you like he did every night before this.

But this time...he had the worst nightmare possible.

He was down in the mines with you, except he felt stuck and couldn't do anything to warn you or save you from the impending danger.

It was like he was spectating a game, instead forced to watch as the bats and monsters made of shadows descended upon you with their teeth bared and claws out, tearing into your body. You had yelled for him to save you, to stop being useless, damning him for not stopping you from leaving...yet their horrible noises drowned out any further shouts.

Then you were gone.

You were gone and he failed you.

And it was all his fault.

It made him joltbwide awake at 3 AM, and he felt like his heart was about to burst from his chest. His mind kept going to you, constantly checking to make sure you're still breathing, unable to fall back to sleep for a while.

When he did, he was in tears.

..........

"No."

"Shane, I know last night was bad. But I'm not-"

"You're not going to the mines today. I mean it."

Dumbfounded, you gazed at Shane, who was physically blocking you from leaving the cabin. A scowl was written all over his face.

You sighed and rubbed the side of your head. "It's only the first few levels, honey. Willy needed bug meat for-"

"Right. The "first few" you say, and then I'll get a call from Harvey at 2 AM about you needing emergency surgery again." He gritted his teeth, tears coming to his eyes. "Whatever he or anyone in this damn town needs in those mines can wait. Why can't you just stay?!"

"I don't understand.." Your eyebrows furrowed. "You never cared before if I went there. What changed?"

"What changed....? What changed is that I've been having a lot more of sleepless nights lately! I can barely eat or do anything except worry and worry about you. And it's because...because..." He trailed off.

"Because what?"

"......."

You sighed. "Shane, if you're not gonna tell me what's wrong, then I don't see why-"

"Because you've been scaring me to death okay?!" His hands now gripping your shoulders as he stared at you. "You think you're invincible, but you aren't. What don't you get?! How badly are you gonna let those things hurt you?! Or be the reason YOU DROP DEAD AND DON'T COME HOME?!!" He screamed.

Your own eyes widened, stunned by his words..and eventually you saw the realization flash across his face as he blurted out his true feelings.

The ones he tried to hide from you, yet consumed him for hours upon hours whenever you left for the mines.

It made your heart plummet.

His breath hitched, and you then saw the tears beginning to fall from his greenish eyes.

"Shane..."

"[Y/n], you saved me from throwing my life away. And...i-it's like you're throwing away yours for no reason!" He sobbed. "Night after night, I have nightmares of seeing your limp body..a-and....and I can't save you. I can't do anything except scream and beg them to stop hurting you! But they never listen! A-And...I just...I-I don't wanna lose you. I can't lose you..."

He looked totally shattered, making you finally realize how serious this was.

Your guilt right now was immensurable, watching the man you loved fall apart right in front of you.

And it was your fault.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry..." You pulled him into a tight hug, and he completely broke down in your arms. His quiet crying became muffled by your shoulder. "I..I had no idea you were feeling that way. Why didn't you tell me about the nightmares sooner?"

"You would've thought..th-they were stupid. Or that I sound "needy" or controlling.." He sniffled. "I-I know I can't stop you from going, but...I just..a-after what happened to you last night, I...I.."

"Oh, honey..that was my dumb mistake. The monsters had nothing to do with my injuries." Rubbing his back, you gently kissed his head. "I was tired and got clumsy with a stupid bomb..but I promise it won't happen again. You're right. I'm not invincible. I need that reality check sometimes."

He didn't say anything, instead holding onto you tighter.

You never realized how badly your mining trips and injuries were affecting him...affecting this very relationship.

The Shane you met back in Year 1 could care less if you dropped dead. He outright said he'd never go looking for you and that whatever happened was your own fault.

But the Shane you knew now was crying in your arms over the mere thought that one day you'll go into the mines and never come out, holding it all in until he couldn't anymore.

You've really helped him open up to you, but now you were tearing him apart inside and never really knew it until this point.

"W-Will you just..stay here today, please?" He finally spoke, not caring about how needy or pathetic that sounded.

"...I will." You answered. "I'll take a break from mining for a good while."

"....you would do that for me?"

"Of course. I'd do anything for you, Shane. Hell..I'd give that up altogether if you wanted me to."

You felt him shake his head, and you chuckled, squeezing him tightly. "I'm only kidding, but I promise. No more mining this week."

Shane raised his head up, looking to make sure you were serious. And he saw nothing but sincerity in your expression.

You sighed softly and cupped the sides of his wet face, seeing the torrent of anxiety and frustration raging like an ocean current in his eyes. "You must've felt so lonely and terrified, baby..I'm sorry. I won't make you feel that way ever again."

He sniffled again as you brushed away his tears, before taking ahold of your wrist to kiss your palm...where your first scar from a rock crab came from.

How badly did he wanna kiss away every scar those bastards left on you until none remained.

Some faded with time and care, but others were more permanent--testaments to your survival down in the mines..as well as your several brushes with death.

Heat rose to your cheeks, watching him become so affectionate and gentle with you, even though he knows you're not made of glass whatsoever.

Eventually, his tears ceased as you both decided to go lay down on the bed together, with Shane cuddling up to you and resting his head on your chest. All he could hear was your strong heartbeat drowning out the noise in his mind.

It was still kicking, like you.

"Thank you..god, that was exhausting.." He mumbled. "I'm sor-"

"You don't have to be sorry for being honest with me." You reassured, petting his hair. "I just..wish I picked up the signs sooner."

"INah, I should've been clearer...and maybe that would spare myself this headache I got now.."

"Hmm..how about we sleep in until you feel better? Then we can check on the chickens."

Feeling him nod and wrap his arms around you, you took that as a "yes" and chuckled softly, knowing you weren't gonna leave this spot anytime soon.

But that's okay.

There's no other place you'd rather be. Not even the mines.

[luffyvace]

I need.....I NEED MORE SAIKI K X READER SHEWAS SCSKSB

I have been feed well by your small serie of saiki kusos x write reader 🤤

But may I request as saiki kusos w f!s/o who suddenly have makoto as a stalker?

(sorry if you don't understand this my first time requesting 😭😭)

AHHH IM GLAD YOU ENJOYED THE SERIES!!

that’s actually a great idea!! I’m super pumped to do this request! :)

Don’t worry I know just what ya mean!

⚠️stalking warning,⚠️ before I start, if I may 😵‍💫

💛

Saiki will know right away when he starts stalking you-

And ngl this is the perfect chance to get rid of him 😈🙏

just kidding! But seriously, he let go of all the times makoto’s annoyed him in the past, but now that’s he’s an issue with you? His girlfriend? The one girl he can actually tolerate, scratch that, loves??

yeah no buddy this one’s not gonna slide

unfortunately he cant punch him bc 1) Saiki’s too strong and 2) that’d draw a lot of attention to himself since Makoto is a celebrity

but what he can do?? Well, Plan A) pinch his cheeks till they hurt and threaten him, Upgraded Plan A) disguise himself then pinch his cheeks, Plan B) keep scaring the crap out of him every time he tries to follow you, Plan C) calmly talk it out with him that you two are an item, Plan D) tell Teruhashi and use her love for Saiki to his advantage, getting her to tell her parents and stop her brother, Plan E) Publicly expose that freak or Plan F) tell you you have a stalker if you haven’t noticed, and if you have, go to the police

wow! what well thought out plans! :) most of them won’t work

heres why!

upgraded plan A is better than just plan A but it will ultimately still draw attention

plan c is unlikely to work seeing as though how creepy that guy is, plus he doesn’t like Saiki

As of plan d Teruhashi can hardly stop him from being a creep to HER (😭⁉️) and i don’t know how well the parents will care, especially if he’s making them money..😟

plan e….seems like it would be successful..buuut i feel he would just use his celebrity status to will the evidence away, like speaking out about how he would “never” do that and doing charity 🙄 plus the fan girls probably won’t believe some rando who uploads that on the internet over they’re fav 😒

ngl plan F is really reasonable and has one of the highest chance of working, but yet again, the celebrity card will strike and he could pay off the police so they don’t do crap abt it 🤦‍♀️😑

therefore! Plan B it is! Seems the most likely to work + Saiki can get his revenge in a practically harmless way! :3

Thanks to his powers (for once 😭) no one is likely to believe even the Makoto when he says a flying guy dropped a pile of dog crap on him 😏🤷‍♀️

and even if they did when he tries to explain the full story he’ll have to keep lying to keep the lie of him not stalking you alive 👎

but he still will tell you if your unaware tho!

he’s likely gonna be hesitant if he knows you’ll freak about abt it but you deserve to know. And ofc he can always keep you safe (thanks magic powers, for being useful for once!) but he also would want your parents to know so if Makoto tries something they can have a lead.

so yes ultimately he tells you, likely at his house, in his room, and he tries to break it to you as gently as possible but…there’s no easy way to take that kind of info 😬😟

if you get scared or cry he’ll tell you his plan to make him leave you alone, and he tells you to tell your parents too. Essentially trying to console you

if you choose to trust him and react a bit calmer, maybe still worried, he’d ask if you still wanna go out in public knowing this, and if yes he’ll accompany whenever and wherever he can, especially since Makoto won’t wanna come up to you while he’s there, thinking Saiki’s your boyfriend

he is

Also If Makoto does anything perverted as far as taking sus pictures of you or imagining weird things with those photos he’ll rip them up and make the paper and random things fly around in his room, every time

He probably breaks his phones/cameras too, even if he buys knew ones, as punishment

onto the final battle!

let’s say your walking home from school and Makoto is following you, your boyfriend is close behind you both, monitoring the situation for a good chance to strike. First, you cross the railroad to get home, but Makoto has to fall back so you don’t see him, but when it’s his turn to go? Oh no! The trains coming! Where’d that even come from? there was no train?! CRAP!- huh? Wait..the trains gone..thank goodness?! 😭

oh wait! He needs to catch up to you! Well at least he knows where you live and what route you take through research! He needs to catch up! HOLY CRAP! What’s a mob doing here?! Did a fan see him?? How’d they find him..no way, don’t tell me they’re gonna find out what he’s doing..NO DONT COME ANY CLOSer…? They’re running past him? Well I guess he is in disguise..wait, they were running to this arch nemesis and top competition?! 😠 seriously?! That guy over him??

he proceeds to head over there to show the ladies who they should really be drooling over 😏 WAIT- HE CANT REVEAL HIMSELF RIGHT NOW?!- what?…where’d his wig go? THE WIND BLEW IT OFF?! HOLY- HE’S ABOUT TO GET FOUND OUT🫨 RUN 😭 🏃

aw man he’s outta breath, what are the odds the wind would blow his wig off near a mob of fans?! Now he’s gotta be extra careful following you! And it’s already late! Actually..it’s pretty darn dark….dang it! You’re probably in your house by now! Oh well…maybe you still have your window open and he can get some pictures that way! 👍

uh..is he starting to hear a second pair of footsteps..? But..no one’s around..why’s it getting louder..?! UH, it’s getting more aggressive now 😥….okay that’s it! he’s running..!

dang it! It’s chasing him! No way he can lead this creep to your house! (Ironic huh) he’s gotta take a wrong turn!

man! What time is it?! Midnight?! Has he really been running that long??? Why’s this freak still chasing him? And who is it?!?

alright! He’ll take a turn into that alley and lose ‘em! Then he’ll make a ‘U’ back to your house! Although there’s no way to be sure if your still up or not :/

hey! The footsteps are gone! Maybe think he lost him! Alright! He’ll take another turn and go back to your place!

🏃🏃

right as he turns the corner?

Saiki:👹

Jump scare!

he immediately calls his manager while running away, thinking he’s either a mass muderer, a demon or a stalker! 😱

and the best part is? Nobody will believe him 😊

ngl Saiki probably won’t let this slide even a couple days after he finds out Makoto’s stalking you, he’s quick to act and stop him bc no.

Super Saiki to your rescue! 🦸🤩😎

Ngl you’re beautiful so I see what Makoto sees in you but…..dude. Don’t stalk your crush.

🌸💐🌺

hope you enjoyed your hcs! -Brook

[jemmo]

Making sense of love for love's sake: the game

Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:

'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'

And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".

When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.

And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.

And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:

"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."

Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.

"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."

And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.

"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."

And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.

And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.

And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.

The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.

[froschli96]

You know what, fuck it, I have to speak my truth! (this is gonna be a rant, so anyone who actually likes assassin's creed revelations and/or the secret crusade, be warned or maybe don't read this at all)

remember how altaïr talks to king richard at the end of ac1, and richard is like "[humans] come into the world kicking and screaming, violent and unstable. it is what we are. we cannot help ourselves."? and how altaïr answers "no. we are what we choose to be." and how that ACTUALLY has meaning bc he himself was "violent and unstable" at the beginning of the game but he has learned and is now CHOOSING to be a better person who cares about others and humanity at large? remember how his calmness and gentleness was something that he ACQUIRED over the course of the story?

and remember how in revelations they then suddenly had a PRE-AC1 altaïr say about the first of his targets "no man should pass from this world without knowing some kindness." and be all wise and calm and collected during a nice little chat with al mualim, who suddenly acts all fatherly? (like, this is suddenly supposed to be a positive relationship? what??)

also, during the confession the target says to altair: "you put too much faith in the hearts of men, altaïr. [...] humans are weak, base, and petty." and altaïr answers: "no. our creed is evidence to the contrary." KJASJFJDKL???? like, it’s almost insulting how close this exchange is to the one with richard. you know, the one that was actually earned after a whole game of character development. like WTF??? cool congrats now that development means nothing. like, apparently that was just altaïr reverting BACK to being the exemplary assassin who understands and believes in the creed that he was apparently just born as. (i also hate how having a young inexperienced altaïr saying this implies that altaïr's faith in humanity is a sign of naivete instead of a sign of the wisdom he has gained after being confronted with counter arguments for a whole game, and also something that distinguishes the assassins from the templars who use humanity's supposed wickedness to justify controlling them like in AC1, but whatever)

altaïr’s development in AC1 mattered BECAUSE he is not NATURALLY a good person, it actually said something about humanity's capacity for both bad AND good and how humans don't have to be forced to be good through mind control bc they can by their own free will choose to be better when taught how and when allowed the freedom to grow. but no. apparently altaïr has just always been calm, wise and gentle. and he just sort of forgot about that during AC1 bc…. ? bc of adha?? bc of abbas???

oh don’t get me started on the whole abbas thing. (it doesnt even make sense that abbas is so hung up about his father and "his family’s honor", like what about the whole point of al mualim not allowing parents to be close to their children bc it would make them weak? like, my dude, you’re not supposed to HAVE any family aside from the brotherhood)

they used the throwaway character that had like 5 lines and made him into altaïr’s main antagonist in revelations… like, abbas wasn’t supposed to be this ONE dude who had personal beef with altaïr, he was just supposed to show how while altaïr’s revered by many, a lot of his brothers also hate him, bc 1) altaïr is a shitty person at this point and 2) bc there’s no real feeling of community and family in this version of the brotherhood, but just a pervasive sense of competition and jealousy — these assassins don’t care about their goal of safeguarding humanity bc they’re too hung up on petty squabbles and divided by rivalries (you know, the things that made malik hate altaïr even before solomon’s temple and that he overcomes in the end which enables him to forgive and to reconcile with altaïr so they can work together and stop al mualim? (you ever just think about "we are one. as we share the glory of our victories, so too should we share the pain of our defeat. in this way we grow closer. we grow stronger." and cry? bc i do. all the time. malik, the man that you are))

and now abbas is altaïr’s childhood best friend turned lifelong enemy?? like, bowden bent over backwards to come up with an explanation for why altaïr is an arrogant ass at the beginning of AC1, when the explanation is right there: he was raised to kill without asking questions and was constantly praised for how good he is at murder, which resulted in him becoming arrogant and disregarding human life. like, it doesn’t have to be some shakespearean family feud type shit. and guess what, this "simple" explanation actually plays into the story’s themes, who’da thunk!

(like, abbas might not have been a "fleshed out" character in AC1, but he had a specific function and now that function is gone. mr bowden, mr mcdevitt, you know characters are allowed to simply exist to tell us something about their worlds and the systems they live in and sometimes that’s more important and also more interesting than having every single character have a detailed backstory to explain all their behaviors, right?)

with all of this revelations loses all nuance in regards to the levantine brotherhood and also the creed in general. like, altaïr being a master assassin at the beginning despite being a terrible person and not actually understanding the creed is a criticism of the brotherhood and the creed itself. like, it said something about the order that someone like altaïr was able to get that high in rank, simply bc he's good at killing, which also tells us what is considered important in the al mualim era assassin order. when you make altaïr’s arrogance the result of his personal conflicts instead of how we was raised by a brotherhood that only valued one's ability to kill, you lose that characterization of the assassin order itself!

and by suddenly making al mualim a semi good "father figure" you also downplay his manipulation of not only altaïr but all those under his care. (altaïr says something about al mualim being "as a father" to him exactly twice in the codex, but he doesn’t mean by that that he WAS a father to him, what he means is that he was the CLOSEST THING he had bc HE DID NOT HAVE PARENTS, not because his mother died in childbirth and his father was executed when he was young btw, BUT BECAUSE IT WASN’T ALLOWED, like his parents actually lived but weren’t allowed to be close to him, he says he came to view al mualim’s "weak and dishonest" love as enough and even better BECAUSE HE HAD NOTHING ELSE, BECAUSE AL MUALIM ISOLATED HIS ASSASSINS FROM THEIR FAMILIES. al mualim "loved" him bc he was good at killing people for him! hm, i wonder if this could be trying to say anything about cults and indoctrination and the inherent contradiction in fighting for peace and free will by taking children away from their parents and raising them to become killers?? like, altaïr wasn't ~the special orphan boy~ taken in by al mualim bc his father died a hero's death, it was "the way of the order" to have al mualim be the closest thing to a parental figure for everyone to ensure absolute loyalty! altaïr saying al mualim was like his father is not supposed to make you go "oh, he must have actually been a good guy for altaïr to consider him a father", it should make you go "oh that's kinda fucked up that he considers the dude who made him into a killing machine and who manipulated him a sort of father figure"!)

and then in revelations they suddenly portray that relationship as positive and healthy??? like, it would be one thing to give it some nuance by delving into the psychology behind al mualim’s "love" and maybe showing how al mualim did care about altair in a complicated, fraught sort of way (like, you know, there’s a lot of interesting things you could say about al mualim at several points addressing altaïr as "my child" in AC1 and how that parallels Garnier referring to the people he drugged and abused as his "children", and what that says about how the templars view the people who they say they want to save and in whose best interests they supposedly act (in any case, al mualim doesn’t use that phrase because he has any real parental feelings but rather to patronize and to invalidate any objections, like in a "mother knows best" way))

but they even fucking DARE to parallel that relationship with that of altaïr and darim in revelations, by having the reflection in the puddle of darim hugging altaïr showing altaïr hugging al mualim…. like their relationship wasn’t inherently abusive but just tragically cut short because al mualim was just "corrupted by the apple"… like WHAT???? so it’s not the very real problems like grooming, manipulation and indoctrination and the hierarchical structure of the brotherhood itself (all of which are antithetical to the assassin ideology), it was just the evil apple all along. great. that’s DEFINITELY a lot more interesting.

god im sorry i really dont want to spread negativity but this is driving me INSANE. like, somebody please tell me im not crazy bc i feel like somehow most of the fandom is in agreement that revelations and the secret crusade have better storytelling and characterization than ac1.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, can we talk about how, even IF we completely ignore AC1 and treat revelations altaïr as his own character…. the narrative still doesn’t really work?

basically, the whole point of his story in rev is that "he gave his whole life to the brotherhood", this obsession led to him not using his time with his family which has him ending up dying alone in a dark library and this in turn makes ezio reevaluate his life choices…. except. he doesn’t? neglect? his family? or whatever? like, his devotion to the assassins is sort of painted as this tragic flaw that leads to a lonely death bc it supposedly comes at the cost of his family, but… his wife has joined the assassins, (at least) one of his sons is in the brotherhood and even when he goes to protect the assassins against the mongols, he takes his family with him (except for the son who stays behind bc he has a family of his own and who, ironically, ends up dying bc of that)… like, you can’t describe altaïr as a good husband and father in the database and have his son tell him that "everything that is good in me began with you, father" when they say goodbye, and then want to make us believe that he put his family behind the brotherhood and that that is a character flaw that leads to his tragedy.

because you HAVE to have a character’s tragedy be the result of a character flaw. like. that is how tragedies work. otherwise it just becomes tragedy for the sake of tragedy which is… boring bc it has no purpose. and we know it is SUPPOSED to have purpose bc ezIO FUCKING QUITS BEING AN ASSASSIN AFTER WITNESSING IT!

it’s like they want to have their cake and eat it, too — they didn’t want to actually make altaïr a bad husband/father, but still wanted to make his life a tragedy where he loses his family which is why instead they outsource all responsibility to abbas who now has to be the reason for ALL the deaths.

like, they try to make at least maria’s death kind of sort of the result of altaïr’s rashness or whatever but like… these guys KILLED THEIR SON and TOLD HIM THAT ALTAÏR HAD ORDERED HIS DEATH. like, altaïr losing it in response to that is not rash, it’s fucking logical and justified! if anything the scene made me angry at maria for trying to stop him. like, GIRL, he was YOUR son too??? but god forbid we give female characters actual real emotions, she has to fill the role of "voice of reason who dies for altaïr’s man pain" i fucking guess.

like, it’s this weird mix where his tragedy is simultaneously painted as his own fault but also not really bc abbas is the one responsible for all the shit that happens. it just… it just doesn’t really go together.

the only way to make his story make sense narratively and to give it actual purpose is by looking at it in the context of ezio’s story, bc the things he sees in altaïr’s memories are supposed to be a revelation (ha!) to ezio specifically. and i guess that’s maybe the crux of it all — altaïr’s story in revelations was conceived of first and foremost to support ezio’s story and development. which is probably also why many people maybe don’t notice bc, having skipped ac1 and started with ac2, the majority of people mostly care only about ezio and only really appreciate altaïr’s story in as far as it serves to push ezio forward. (tho i’ve also seen a few people say that ezio is also written kind of weird in rev, but i’ve never really been an ezio girly myself so i can’t speak to the truth of that)

like, altaïr dying alone in the library doesn’t really have to make sense for his character, i guess, bc it’s only really supposed to be a cautionary tale for ezio.

so, i guess, for once, they actually had a MAN dying for another man’s character development, which is pretty woke actually. ubisoft, i take everything back jksdsfjhgdsahfhsdhfghfdsgjhsdgjh

[starry-bi-sky]

I'm slowly becoming obsessed with the childhood friends au and it's mostly bc of something you said in the tags of an ask lol. you mentioned that they weren't soulmates they were something better. that they were two balls of yarn they batted around until they were intertwined, that they chose and continue to choose to be as close as two souls can be.

it's so poetic, the idea that fate has nothing to do with it. they looked at each other and said this is it, that's the one. It makes me think of so many different quotes but here's just a few. Hozier "lay me gently in the cold dark earth, no grave can hold my body I'll crawl home to her (him)" or like patroclus saying that if Achilles were to die that "all things soft and beautiful would be buried with him" and poor Danny grieving so long and so hard because "what is grief if not love perserving?" when you're in love with someone, that person is the lighthouse of your universe and to lose them is to be thrown to a tempestuous sea.

and thinking of their reunion makes me feel a little crazy too cause I see what you've been plotting and it just makes me think of how their relationship is going to be at first. like here's a person that you love so deeply and it's been so long since you've seen them and you've both changed since. will they click back together seemingly effortlessly? attached at the hip for a bit because they're both/or one is scared of being separated again? or will there be some friction for a while while they try to realign their pieces to fit together, to figure out what's different and what's practically the same? "you are a language I am no longer fluent in but still remember how to read"

sorry for rambling, I love them your honor.

🫵 DONT YOU DARE APOLOGIZE FOR RAMBLING I LOVE GETTING RAMBLING ASKS. AND SAME.

There was this one sound on tiktok that I heard that reminded me of them, and I just went and found it, and it goes: "I would recognize you in another lifetime entirely in different bodies, different times, and i would love you in all of this. Until the very last star in the sky burnt out into oblivion." and the first time i heard it i literally thought "this is CFAU Danny and Jason"

AND YEAH THEY JUST. I love devoted characters, i love when characters are so deeply devoted and loyal to each other its like you can't imagine them being anywhere else but at each other's side. That wasn't wholly my intent when I first came up with CFAU last fall, but god I am not complaining about how it turned out. My favorite part of the chapter 1 rewrite is making sure Danny's devotion to Jason was reciprocal.

god those quotes. they're so accurate too. yeah. i thought about this au once in the context of a soulmate au, and just couldn't get behind it. It made their whole dynamic felt cheapened, like of course they're soulmates; it was destined. When no, it wasn't. They made it that way.

(If the two of them were somehow transported to a universe with soulmate marks, they would not have matching symbols. That's okay, Danny and Jason don't need them to be. They'd pick up a tattoo gun or a pen and make their own. They wouldn't call it a soulmate mark, just a them mark.)

("Why should I share my soul with some schmuck I don't know? I want to share my soul with you.")

yeah. their reunion is. ! about as exactly as intense as it needs to be :]. They've both changed so much, and they're both scared of being separated again. Jason purposely stayed away from Amity because he knew he couldn't keep away if he didn't. Being back together again is like having a piece of them returned.

SPEAKING OF QUOTES. Here's one:

I don't believe in the death that you're bringing The reason I'm living is you Wherever you go That's where I'll be Even if death tags along, I don't mind It's still you and me I'll never leave you alone

"Death's At My Door" - The Outsiders Musical

[dcangel]

MY SMUTTY WRITING PROMPTS

I have a shit tone of smut prompts, so feel free to request any numbers for any of following characters: stiles Stilinski, Thomas (TMR), Dave Hodgman, Joel Dawson, Void Stiles, Stuart Twombly, Mitch Rapp, Simon Tarnum, Colin. I literally got pretty much done with this and was abt to post it bc I made the collage at the end and everything AND I FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT COLIN

As you can tell it’s all Dylan’s characters, and these are going to be the main people I write for. I don’t want to write about dylan himself as of right now bc I feel like it’s like sjrkrfk but yeah.

Anyways… there turned out to be 77 total prompts FOR THE SMUT ONES ALONE which is.. yeah

But I do have more than just smut prompts, I have some normal ones and I’ll make another post abt those.

RULES!! Idgaf how old you are as long as your 16+, I only write for fem!readers, and idk what else to add but like the basic rules yk? You can request more than just the prompts such as like sub!reader or sub!character (same for dom), or like maybe a specific kink if I feel comfortable writing for it like a nickname or just something else. You also don’t have to choose from one of these, you could just give me a request, and it also doesn’t even have to be smut. I’m always happy to hear your ideas and randomly thoughts<33

Anywayss…

SMUT PROMPTS—

1. “I want to hear you beg.”

2."Arch your back for me.”

3."You look better with my hands around your neck."

4."Swallow it. All of it."

5."God, you feel so fucking good."

6."Suck on it"

7."You're so fucking hot."

8."Open your legs for me, baby. I wanna see you."

9. “Don’t hold back.”

10. "Ah, fuck.”

11. "That noise...keep making it."

12. "Wrap your legs around my waist."

13. "Let's make this quick."

14. "Don't close your eyes, angel. Look at me"

15. "You're mine."

16. "Such a good little (slut/good boy, good girl), aren't you?"

17. "faster-ah shit-harder”

19. “I wanna go again."

20."I want you. I need you."

21.“Huh...uh...keep going."

22."Wait-uh-do...do that again."

23."Mark me. Mark me so everyone knows who I belong to."

24."Don't be gentle with me-I like it when you're rough."

25."One more time! Please!"

26. "Fuck-uh! I love it when you touch me like that."

26."kiss me again, but- mphh"

27. "lay down, love and let me do you how you deserve it."

28. “You can suck better than that, angel… don’t piss me off, alright?”

29. “Don’t muffle yourself. Let them hear your whiny voice, baby. Everyone should know how good I’m fucking you.”

30. "We'll take it slow."

31. "I've never done this before..” "Well, neither have I."

32."I'll take care of you."

33. "Tell me what you like."

34. "Tell me if it feels good."

35. "We can stop anytime."

36. "Do you trust me?"

37. "I've been wondering what it feels like…”

38. "I think l'm ready (for this/to have sex/...)."

39. "Please be gentle…”

40. "This is going a bit too fast…”

41. “I can’t believe you’re this innocent.”

42. "Makes me want to wreck you."

43. "You've never even touched yourself?"

44. "Show me how you do it when you touch yourself.”

45. "What do you like?" - "I don't know." - "Then how about we find out together?"

46. "It's my first time…”

47. “I can't wait to ruin your innocence"

48. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

49. "It's not a big deal. Let's just get it over with?

50. "I want you to be my first."

51. "I want you to teach me."

52. "Teach me how to make you feel good.”

53. "I wanna touch you too."

54. "Show me how to touch you."

55. "Am I going too fast?"

56. "You're doing so good for me.”

57. "Do that again."

58. "I never thought you could make such sweet noises." - "Me neither. "

59. "It's not scary at all. Let me show you.”

60."I'm worried I won't be good enough."

61. "Is it going to hurt?"

62. "I won't hurt you."

63. "I'm really embarrassed about this...”

64. "No need to worry."

65. "I got you."

66. “Kiss me?”

67. "Will you be my first?"

68. "Will you let me be your first?"

69. "I have no idea how to go about this "

70. "(If you like it), we can go all night."

71. "So (hard/wet) already…?”

72. "Are you sure this is your first time?"

73. "What do you want me to do?"

74. "Is this okay?"

75. "Does it feel good?”

76. "Tell me what to do."

77. "I'll guide you."

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

You’re right, Feyre stans are rarely just Feyre stans.

hi anon!

yep! this was specifically solidified for me after silver flames came out. feyre stans have been conditioned to always validate rhysand's intention over feyre's opinion. again - feyre has established that she:

(1) does not want rhysand to speak about her sisters in a disrespectful manner. feyre validates rhysand emotions about her sisters - meaning she isn't saying (and im not saying) that rhysand doesn't have a right to feel a certain way about her sisters. but that rhysand's feelings should not manifest in jabs and disrespectful words:

“Rhys said smoothly, “I’m not entirely sure Velaris is prepared for Nesta Archeron.” “My sister’s not some feral animal,” I snapped. Rhys recoiled a bit, the others suddenly finding the carpet, the divan, the books incredibly fascinating. “I didn’t mean that.”

feyre to rhysand.

“So she keeps saying, over and over,” Amren grumbled. I shot her a glare. “Careful.”

feyre to amren.

that's a boundary being set - clear as day. feyre does not approve or condone outright disrespect of her sisters. this has nothing to do with how we believe xyz or what rhys has a right to do, but what feyre has established as a no go.

(2) that she does not feel comfortable with rhysand being overly protective, to the point he withholds information, is overly violent, or conflicts with her wants:

“It’s hard to shut down my instincts.” Instincts. Just like … like someone else had instincts to protect, to hide me away. “Then you should have prepared yourself better,” I snapped. “You seemed to be going along just fine with it, until Keir said—”

rhys to feyre; feyre to rhys (acomaf)

(3)feyre doesn't care about instincts (as is an excuse used in sf), here she is telling rhys straight up that he needs to prepare himself better. bc she DOES NOT feel comfortable with the way rhys expressed his frustration. and again feyre is sympathetic to his reasonings, but she does not believe his intentions (in this case) justify the way he chooses to go about these things.

“I craned my neck to look up at him. “Never lie to me again. Not about that.”

feyre to rhys (acowar)

(4) again - feyre establishing a boundary. never lie to her about anything, especially important things.

feyre (and also fucking amren) also establishes that she doesn't believe that keeping her sisters couped up in the house of wind to be productive or helpful:

“If you want to start convincing your sisters, get them out of the House. Being cooped up never helped anyone.”

amren to feyre (acowar)

and nesta has established to rhys that she wants no interest in cassian:

“Nesta had made it clear enough she had no interest in Cassian—not even in being in the same room as him. I knew why. I’d seen it happen, had felt that way plenty.”

rhysand to az (acofas)

feyre also establishes - to rhys - that her she knows her sisters don't do well with public humiliation, and making a scene:

“ “I shouldn’t have asked her in public. I made a mistake.” and “I loosed a long sigh. “I should have considered that telling strangers what happened to her in Hybern might … might not be something she was comfortable with. My sister has been a private person her entire life, even amongst us.”

feyre to rhys (acowar).

im saying allll of this to say that in sf - rhysand literally takes all of these boundaries and shits on them. even his creation of the intervention conflicits against what feyre establishes: (1) her sister is a private person, and will not respond well to public humilation (2) nesta wants nothing to do with cassian (3) her sisters are not healty being in the house of wind and (4) feyre wants to be looped in and considered every step of the way. even the act of creating an intervention that goes so instinctively against feyre's wishes is an act of deep disrespect. that feyre stans can see these moments and still justify them bc their hatred for nesta and obsession w/ rhys trumps their 'love' for feyre. its a conditional like. here feyre is the victim and instead of writing metas and ff about feyre being done dirty by rhysand - they flock to justify rhysand's point to the point where they're willing to ignore feyre's opinions. its not abt how much we like / dislike the sisters. but how rhys's behavior conflicts against feyre's wants and boundaries. its about how those feyre stans would rather validate rhys then stand by feyre's emotions. to imply that rhysand's actions were appropriate means u place his actions above feyre.

feyre is adult and mature enough to manage her emotions, she not a child, she is perfectly able to stand-up and put her foot down. and she has - on multiple occasions retorted and fought back against her sisters - to consistently pretend feyre is a child who needs rhys to cosign and stand body-guard when feyre is perfectly able to do it herself says so much abt those 'stans' than they are willing to admit.

like feyre was able to face down tamlin - her abuser - all by her damn self. she's not some child who needs people to consistently defend her by undermining her opinions. if she wanted rhys to be an asshole to nesta - we would have saw that. instead we got this:

“That’s enough,” Feyre snapped at Rhys. “I told you to keep out of it.” He dragged his star-flecked eyes to his mate, and it was all Nesta could do to keep from collapsing onto the couch as her knees gave out at last. Feyre angled her head, nostrils flaring, and said to Rhysand, “You can either leave, or you can stay and keep your mouth shut.”

we got feyre telling rhys and amren that she did not want them to behave that way. and even after that. both rhys and amren continue ignoring feyre's requests. feyre is not respected - these are not the actions of people who respect her as an equal. she's a child to them , and they believe they know better.

idk - if i were a feyre stan- yall would never have shut me up if my fav was treated like a doormat and sidelined. i would have been writing scathing metas on rhys and the ic. - i wouldve been explaining exactly why rhys withholding information was wrong - not just vaguely saying he was wrong and then justifying why he did it. i would have been an amren hater #1 for how she continually undermined feyre. idk...yall are not real feyre shooters. like damn your fav is catching strays by the author and the readers and you're only focused on how nesta factors into that equation?? like youve got bigger problems to worry abt here. feyre has been continually and consistently phased out of her own story by the author and that don't bother yall? hmm couldnt be me tho.

[horizon-verizon]

I read this thread that I found quite interesting if you want to check it out

https://x.com/darksvster/status/1817785978708480244

Rhaenyra is in a way turning into a cult leader a la Paul Atreides, believing herself to be the prince who was promised, recruiting smallfolk who have nothing to lose and sending them to their deaths to fight in her name, its a very prevalent theme actually. The dragon keepers being appalled by the massacre this will cause but her insisting on it, its a descent into self glory and obsession. The more she gets closer to the Iron Throne the more it corrupts her which is why I’m absolutely sure they will include her getting cut as soon as she sits on it. Let’s face it, as much as I hate to admit it, misogyny isn’t a main theme in HOTD.

When I heard Ryan described this scene as cult behaviour and Rhaenyra acting as a “pastor”, my mind went straight to the Shepherd (a strong follower of the Faith of the Seven), they’d be the different sides of the same coin, Rhaenyra brought down these gods, here they slaughtered the smallfolk but at the Storming of Dragonpit, it’s the smallfolk destroying them.

And if you take into consideration that the prophecy was proven false in GOT and how HOTD is trying to hammer down the idea that monarchies and especially Targaryen ones are terrible, it leads you to the idea that anyone who thinks them selves as the savior is a false prophet. Viserys told her about the prophecy to make her pursuit of the throne more legitimate and peaceful, however it ended up making her more unhinged because she now believes herself a prophet when its all a farce, neither she nor her descendants will be the saviors IN SHOW LORE (please don’t misunderstand me, I know that in the books, the prince that was promised and Azor Ahai are Daenerys and no one else).

Didn't watch the episode, so this is pretty helpful and explains a lot why I kept seeing Rhaenys-cult leader in my Twitter timeline. How interesting...

Always remember that Condal came from a Catholic school (I also did but you don't see me trying to make a canonically family/woman who never really had much enthusiasm for religion religiously cultish...)

Rhaenyra never tried to build any sort of cult around herself or dragons

dragons always choose their own rider, so the dragonkeepers protesting Rhaenyra having lowborns have access to dragons is more classism than religiousness still wouldn't make any sense besides bc 1) they'd be going against their dragon-gods' wishes/authority 2) there's no proof of them even coming from Valyrian families... unlike in the orig lore, in the show they seem to be randos who can speak Old Valyrian and have ritualistic practices concerning dragons as literal gods/reps of gods

Old Valyrian dragonlords were never particularly religiously "devoted" or defined themselves through gods even with them having their own gods as they had a multireligious state in Old Valyria....at least comparatively to other peoples, inlcu the andals, who are actually the ones who you'd say were religiously cultish with their carving Seven symbols in their foreheads and later talking something close to Manifest destiny to explain how/why the fled Essos (when it was more liekly bc of the Valyrians)

the dragonkeepers have never in all of history been in the authority to deny a Targ anything based on any sort of separate and independent authority OR religious beliefs bc their role was just to guard dragons/their eggs/their lairs

AND

that he's mainly trying to create a story he's always wanted to see as a fan of GRRM's work (BigThink article):

So, yeah, all this matters for the exact direction you predict and I dislike this concept.

[sunkissedhalo]

hi, I hope you are well. Well, I just wanted some direction in the matter of all this, is there anything wrong with creating an internal belief system that consists of LOA and ND teachings? I know the two are different things, they are just illusory concepts created to point you to who you are, but is it contradictory to follow ND but still want to have experiences through the illusory senses? I think I just need to trust myself but at the same time my ego is insecure

I am, hope you are as well ♡

1) imo mixing LOA and ND makes it more complicated than necessary. Bc after learning about ND you realize that there is nothing but YOU, and everything is just effortless being. If you add LOA into it, (another concept "created" by you), it makes you feel like you need methods / rules / to do something. But you can choose to believe whatever you want, it's up to you 💯

2) just know that it's not YOU who wants to have experiences through illusory senses, YOU are aware of there (seemingly) being a want for that. The "wanting" and the "thing wanted" are all just YOU. When people "desire" something, they tend to create a separation between THEMSELVES, the person they think they are, and the thing desired. Don't create separation between them, because there is none. Separation is contradictory because ND teaches that everything is YOU.

3) "ego" doesn't exist. No point in creating more separation by using that word. YOU are aware of a seeming person who seemingly feels insecure, none of it is actual. Ultimately, it's all just YOU / awareness.

4) you said "follow ND." And like you said, ND is just a pointer to YOURSELF. Once you get the concept of ND, drop that concept. Because you realize that ND is just an illusory concept; why follow something that doesn't actually exist? No concept or word can ever truly, fully describe what YOU are. Just trust yourself. Rely on yourself. And experience your being. Just be.

[im-probably-crying-rn-ngl]

fuck it, book recommendations based on your favourite driver

+ age rating, summary and rambling disguised as explanation as to why

if your favourite driver is Lewis Hamilton...then i would recommend Carrie Soto is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid

(historical sports fiction, standalone) "Carrie Soto, a fierce and determined retired tennis champion, comes out of retirement at thirty-seven to reclaim her record and face personal challenges, coached by her father partnered with the man she almost opened her heart to, in Taylor Jenkins Reid's novel about the cost of greatness and a legendary athlete's epic comeback."

the connection between this book and lewis is what inspired this whole post in the first place. a comeback story even if you have proven all there is to be proven? trying to beat all the odds against you even time? being an all-time champion AND an underdog? there are so many links that can be made between carrie and lewis not just with their careers and relationships but also what adversities they have had to face. idk but is this like manifesting that lewis is going to be "back" for his 8th wdc?

if your favourite driver is George Russell...then i would recommend A Good Girl's Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson

(young adult mystery thriller, book 1 of 3) "In 'A Good Girl's Guide to Murder,' Pippa Fitz-Amobi reexamines a closed case, challenging the conviction of Sal Singh for Andie Bell's murder, unearthing hidden secrets that threaten her safety as she seeks the elusive truth."

ah mr wannabe investigator (we all saw him checking out that redbull) but seriously there's something we grussell sprouts must enjoy about someone who seems so straight-laced and uptight be absolutely blatantly unhinged both on and off track. it's just so george to choose literal murder inquiry as a school project, from the ambition bordering on arrogance of believing a high schooler could do what the authorities couldn't to the genuine heartfelt sincerity in wanting the truth and to bring justice for those already deemed outcasts by society. he's OUR good girl that's not-so-secretly "bad".

(main ship are george and alex coded btw like im just saying)

(+ bonus rec bc i am incredibly biased) if your favourite team is Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 Team (had to google the name for the nth time)...then i would recommend The Green Bone Saga by Fonda Lee

(adult fantasy, trilogy, best books i have ever read) "The Green Bone Saga is a fantasy trilogy by Fonda Lee, exploring the intricate power struggles and conflicts within and around the Kaul family. Set in the fictional city of Janloon with ability-enhancing jade as it's lifeblood."

my faves with my faves. mercedes aren't a national institution/emotion (ferrari), a team (red bull racing), a villains' lair (ashton martin) or a pop band (mclaren) but a family. a dysfunctional, awkward, barely concealed hot mess of a family, but family nonetheless. chasing victory while trying to survive the horrors of life and each other is the merc way and you will see the same in this trilogy. *toto voice* loyalty!

family is duty. magic is power. honor is everything. <- literally them

if your favourite driver is Oscar Piastri...then i would recommend The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

(young adult fantasy, book 1 of 5) "In 'The Lightning Thief' by Rick Riordan, seemingly troubled teenager Percy Jackson discovers his divine lineage as a demigod, embarks on a perilous quest with his friends to prevent a war among the gods."

wow guys i don't know what to tell you except oscar JACK piastri, SON of nicole and chris piastri, might literally be percy JACKSON (i have connected the dots, you haven't connected shit). your guy might have had a former illustrious career in undertaking dangerous quests and asking greek gods to pay child support, you should check.

if your favourite driver is Lando Norris...then i would recommend Magnolia Parks by Jessa Hastings

(adult contemporary romance, check tws, book 1 of an ongoing series) "In 'Magnolia Parks' by Jessa Hastings, a tumultuous love story unfolds between the beautiful and self-involved London socialite Magnolia Parks and Britain's notorious bad-boy BJ Ballentine, as they grapple with a dysfunctional relationship marked by heartbreak, secrets, and the enduring pull they feel towards each other."

picked this based on vibes, just pure vibes but immaculate ones. the drama, the glitz, the glam yes but also the family, friendship, and love found within the pages of this series. this is british gossip girl. i am telling you there is a vision here people.

(+ bonus review because this might be the only book on this list that has less (3.84) than 4+ stars on goodreads and i can't do him and y'all dirty like that: i personally didn't love the first book but the series really comes together and you truly get invested in these characters and their happiness, actually pretty excited to read more.

also if nothing else it's fun, just some brain popcorn)

if your favourite driver is Carlos Sainz...then i would recommend The Wrath and the Dawn by Renée Ahdieh

(young adult romance fantasy, check tws, book 1 of 2) "In a land ruled by a murderous boy-king, Shahrzad vows vengeance for her friend's death and becomes the next bride of the tormented Caliph Khalid, discovering unexpected love as she navigates the perilous palace of secrets and stories, torn between survival and the promise of retribution."

wow like you think he didn't step out of a magical retelling of 1001 nights? mhm but let's leave aside the fact i am still not convinced otherwise. carlos this year has shown his insane mega ultra galaxy brain, so i believe the plot of the wrath & the dawn would be something that would resonate with you. the quick wit and guile of the mc as she tries to carry out a revenge plot while trying to not get executed is only comparable to carlos coming up with his own race strategy mid race and cementing himself as the only non-rbr race winner in 2023. wow.

if your favourite driver is Charles Leclerc...then i would recommend The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

(historical romance fantasy, standalone) "The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller is an Iliad retelling, focusing on the deep and complex relationship between Achilles and Patroclus."

he has that sadness in his eyes that you only see in tragic greek myths etc etc. i will have to say, achilles walked so charles leclerc could race. *soft longing sigh* il predestinato and aristos achaion, the predestined and the best of the greeks. beloveds born and bathed in golden light. it just makes sense to me.

if your favourite driver is Alex Albon...then i would recommend Beach Read by Emily Henry

(adult contemporary romance, standalone) "A romance writer who no longer believes in love and a literary writer stuck in a rut engage in a summer-long challenge that may just upend everything they believe about happily ever afters."

i mean alex is a living-breathing romance novel of a man. BUT it hasn't always been sunshine and rainbows (helmut marko if i catch you). so i think any emily henry book but especially beach read captures the ups and downs of alex's journey so well compared to just any ole romcom (...but if i had to give one for the alex enjoyers then it would be Better Than the Movies by Lynn Painter, coincidentally also george and alex coded lmao).

but was it his remarkable drive back to f1 or the recent holiday beach pics that was the reason behind this rec? i guess we will never know

if your favourite driver is Logan Sargeant...then i would recommend Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones

(young adult fantasy, book 1 of 3)"In 'Howl's Moving Castle' by Diana Wynne Jones, eldest daughter Sophie is cursed to age prematurely, the key to break the spell lies in the enigmatic Wizard Howl's castle. Sophie embarks on a quest to confront the Witch who cursed her all the while unraveling hidden truths about herself and Howl."

"let's bring it in and call it a day - let's look after of you." to "that's my girl" pipeline and vice versa. i know what you are.

but logang (the only one i know frfr) you deserve it okay? a cozy lil fantasy full of whimsy and wonder. tuck in and have some tea and cookies, pookies.

(i wanted to do the full grid but keep the teammates together and i haven't yet come up with something for all of em so there will be a part 2...? hopefully...?)

sources for summaries: thestorygraph and goodreads

[bennett-mikealson]

Tyler vs Klaus

It's Been a Hot minute since I've been on tumblr so imma choose violence with this post bc the hypocrisy will always be crazy to me.

So it's OK for Klaus to harm Caroline knowing his hybrid bite would kill a vampire but when Tyler simply shows his werewolf face he's worse than Klaus. I really wanna break down the comparison of them both regarding their situations with Caroline bc from Tyler's pov Caroline as betrayed him on multiple occasions while Klaus has harmed Caroline unprovoked.

1st Tyler situation: Masons Death

Caroline spent a good chunk of season 2 building a new bond with Tyler; gaining his trust when he became a Werewolf. So much so that she even tells Tyler that a Werewolf bite could kill a vampire after she finds that out from Damon. Tyler then finds out from Jules that Caroline was lying to him about knowing who killed Mason (HIS UNCLE) and when confronting Caroline about how she's broken his trust he pushes her against a car and you can see his werewolf side start to takeover but it doesn't. Why? Bc he knows that biting her would kill her. Tyler was able to control himself while being a new werewolf so that he didn't kill Caroilne after she betrayed him but Tyler's the bad guy bc he pushed her against a car. REALLY???? And even after Jules and her friend had Caroline in that cage even if he did hesitate for a second he still took her out and even left Mystic Falls with jules bc he didn't want to harm anyone. He only Came back bc he found out his mother was in the hospital; Why? bc of Klaus.

2nd Tyler situation: Caroline sleeping with Klaus

Once again a betrayal on Caroline's part to Tyler. Tyler spent most of their relationship in competition with Klaus bc of Klaus. Klaus used Tyler's sirebond against him so Tyler left Mystic Falls turning over 100 times and almost dying so he can be free and enjoy his relationship with Caroline. Klaus Killed Tyler's mother and Caroline knew how much pain that put Tyler in bc she was there comforting him at his mother's memorial while he cried in her arms. Then after they broke up Caroline had sex with Klaus and Caroline's once again in conflict with Tyler. Tyler finds out She slept with Klaus and instead of respecting Tyler's wishes to leave him alone Caroline continued to push him to his point of rage showing werewolf side once again. Not attacking her tho. Some would say it was bc Stefan stopped him but I don't believe Tyler would of harmed her to begin with bc if he was able to control his werewolf side when he just started his journey after Caroline betrayed him before why wouldn't he be able to again. But most stans don't see that and instead resort to saying that Tyler's abusive and he had no reason to he mad when they know that if the roles were reversed and Tyler did something like that to Caroline they would freak in rage. What's even worse is that after some time died down and Tyler was still in his feelings Caroline tells him to get over her sleeping with Klaus and Said that she wasn't going to continue to feel bad for what she did.

That was so girl boss you are Caroline. 😐

Now let's get to Klaus,

1st Kluas situation: Bite number 1

Klaus used Tyler's sirebond against him and forced him to bite Caroline on her birthday so he could then save Caroline to seem like some hero. Mind you Caroline has done nothing to Klaus to deserve being put through that pain.

2nd Klaus situation: bite number 2

After Kol is killed and Klaus is locked in the Gilbert house he bites Caroline and stabs her with a lamp after she told him she didn't want to be with him (something he already knew bc she's told him on multiple occasions she didn't want him).

These are 2 situations of Caroline doing little to nothing to Klaus but Klaus harms Caroline knowing he would kill her but he's not held to the same standard as Tyler. He not abusive but Tyler is?

Make it make sense

Tyler has never bitten Caroline. In fact in situations of rage stemming from Caroline betrayals to Tyler he has managed to control himself both times bc he knows that he could kill Caroilne; But he's the bad guy for showing even an ounce of deserved rage to Caroline after she backstabs him. How is Tyler showing Caroline his werewolf face after she does him dirt worse than Klaus purposely biting Caroline while knowing he could kill her?

Either we not watching the same show or Stan's are just letting their biased views cloud their judgment.

And I thinks it's the 2nd option 👀

[haesunflower]

Imagine zb1 is playing the mafia game;

Who dies first?

Who tries to save his own butt in the dumbest way possible, making him look sus?

Who's the smartest citizen?

Who ends up fake-crying first, down on his knees and swearing he's not part of the mafia?

Who's the one who just tags along with what the others say because he actually doesn't know how to play the game?

Who's the one with amazing acting skills that makes you believe that he's actually a citizen?

Who's the one who absolutely no one doubts because ✨baby✨?

Who's actually the doctor/detective(policeman? I can't remember how they actually call that role)/mafia?

Did the citizens win?

Sorry for this random ask, I just felt like it ajfkdndkd

this is funny let's do it (i love when svt plays this btw)

₊˚⊹♡.....zb1 plays the mafia game.....₊˚⊹♡

dies first: taerae (only bc they need someone to suspect and he doesn't convincingly put up much of a fight)

saves his own butt in the dumbest way possible, making him look sus: also taerae, which is why he was booted first

says something like "it's ricky i saw him draw the mafia role" and ricky is such a gaslighter he's like "lol no, maybe you're the mafia because it's round 1 and you're pointing fingers already". everyone believes ricky > taerae pls explain why

smartest citizen: gunwook

literally the only one with a braincell that wants to figure this out in a fair and just way. idk if it works but he can try!

fake-crying, down on his knees and swearing he's not part of the mafia: matthew

wants to prove so bad that he isn't the mafia, resorting to tears like he aint even smiling for this portion. "everyone I swEAR it's not me!". they're also telling him to stop begging on his knees, just get up damnit!

one who just tags along with what the others say because he actually doesn't know how to play the game: zhang hao

asks questions to hanbin the whole time, hoping he'll explain the mechanics. "wait hanbin, why is taerae dead again?", "hao hyung because we thought he was the mafia in round 1" "ohhhhh....."

makes you believe that he's a citizen: zhang hao

he's actually playing dumb. knows the damn game well enough to play everyone like a fiddle! everyone thinks it's his first time playing, so they don't question it. is literally mafia #1.

absolutely no one doubts because ✨baby✨: yujin

guess what, it's mafia #2.

policeman: ricky

so the role that taerae actually saw was policeman, not mafia. he's played mafia with hao once before so he's immediately suspicious as to why he's pretending not to know. Ricky checks hao’s identity so he knows the truth. but literally gets killed the round after taerae bc the doctor....

doctor: jiwoong

doesn't do his job correctly and only chooses saving yujin each night (that's what happens when you're the favorite child). bc of that ricky died and couldn’t share his findings that hao is the mafia.

Did the citizens win? no hao had them all fooled.

[kimsohn]

haywire

pairing . juyeon x gn! reader (ft. karina of aespa) about . 1.5k words, fluff warnings . juyeon is pretty ooc (i had the urge to make him a hot beach boy sorry), very detailed description of him bc y/n is down bad (this isn't suggestive i just explained things in detail), y/n is also a little bit of an idiot, cursing

synopsis . public showers are the bane of your existence, but maybe you have to reconsider after seeing the eye candy next door. note. this is heavily inspired by juyeon's shower scenes in lip gloss!! (tysm to jacobblr for these gifs, view them in order as you read! 1 2) this was meant to be a drabble but i got carried away, hence the length. enjoy the physical hotness that is juyeon 💗

You have come to the conclusion that sand is magical.

Seriously, how is it that so much still remains on you after you've been furiously rubbing it off for the past 30 minutes? It's like glue is attached to the particles, because either it's not coming off or you're just a complete idiot (it's probably the latter).

"Y/N, the only way that sand is going to come off is with a shower." your friend Karina states, packing up the umbrella covering you two, "Stop trying so hard or you're going to get a towel burn. Is that what it’s even called? It’s definitely not a carpet burn…"

You sigh as you cut out her rambling, knowing that her words are correct and that you're simply choosing to ignore them because of your dislike for public showers. They're out in the open, extremely inefficient, and who knows how many people have stood on the nasty tile, but it's either that or ruining Karina's convertible with sand.

"Fine. I'll be back in ten."

Grabbing the towel, you make your way up the sand, spotting the metal showerheads in the distance. Wearing your flip-flops was useless because the sand still manages to make its way between your toes, and now it's an extra hassle to clean them and walk with the dripping water and squeaky noises. However, you would do anything to not feel the weird flooring of the showers, even if that meant dealing with the annoyance on your feet.

You hope for the best and make your way toward the first one, and to your luck, it’s empty. Thank heaven you don't have to make awkward eye contact with the other people showering. Plus, the handle is extendable, so you can properly rinse the sand off without leaving anything behind. As much as you hate to admit it, Karina was right: the shower can do so much more for you than a towel.

Once you're done double and triple washing the grit off your body, you turn off the shower and quickly dry yourself. The beach breeze has you shivering so you move fast, but to your utter dismay, the towel isn't enough to clean you entirely. It becomes fully damp only halfway through, and the rest of your body feels like it's in the Arctic Pole with the way your goosebumps prickle.

However, before you can freeze to ice, your lucky brain registers the shower running next to you. Maybe they have a spare towel, or at least something to dry you off, but as you walk around to ask, you stop in your tracks.

Your whole body feels numb now because the man standing in front of you is short-circuiting your brain. The shower sounds fade out behind you and all you can hear is the soft dangle of his silver bracelet when he moves his hand, and the water dripping from his sharp chin. He's washing his neck and it's doing absolutely nothing to help because his muscles are flexing, and the water from his hair is dripping onto his beautiful face, long fingers, thin black necklace, and… his chest. His goddamn chest. He's wearing a white tank but it's useless because the water is making it incredibly see-through, and you have to stop tracing his abdomen with scrutiny before you pass out. You have the thought that you should probably stop looking before you die of heatstroke and not your goosebumps, but even his hair is too beautiful to look away from.

I can't believe even hair can be this sexy.

"Hm?"

You watch in horror as he looks up to meet your gaze, and his feline-shaped eyes make you lose your senses for a couple of moments. Then you’re realizing the silence and the stare, and it finally hits you that you said those words out loud. You're in deep shit because now he probably thinks you're a freak, which probably means you have zero chance of getting a towel and maybe some decent eye candy too.

"Um, I’m so sorry. I did not mean to call your hair sexy—"

"Thanks, I guess? No one's ever told me that before."

His face shifts into a small smile, and you're absolutely fucked because his eyes crinkle and all you're reminded of is a cute little cat. How did he go from charming to sweet in five seconds? You blame it on the dimples. Or the eye mole.

"You're... welcome?" you say, scratching your neck awkwardly, "Sorry, I just came here to ask if you had a spare towel."

"I do actually," he says, turning off the water and handing you a fluffy white towel, pure like his endearing smile.

You mutter thanks, quickly wiping the remaining water droplets on your skin, but by now you don't even feel cold anymore because of the man standing in front of you. He's too hot to handle, quite literally, and if it weren't for the fact that you just took a shower, you'd probably be sweating. If you knew public showers contained fine specimens, you wouldn't have held a grudge for so long.

"Thank you again, um..."

"Juyeon."

You stare at the towel in your hands.

"No seriously, I'm sure I would've frozen if it weren't for you," you respond, clearing your throat, "if you want, I can wash this towel for you. It would be no problem at all, really, I can give it back to you the next time you're at the beach."

He hums in thought, grabbing his phone.

"Or you can just give me your number. You can text me back when it's clean and we can meet up somewhere. You live in the area, right?"

Is this gorgeous man actually asking you for your number? You try and convince yourself that this isn't romantic at all and that he's just trying to make this convenient for you. Why would he even like a creep spying on him showering, right?

"Yeah, sure!" you ask, punching in your number, "Do you want me to save my contact with just my name? I can add beach towel weirdo after it."

You’re going to murder your brain and its impulsive thoughts, and maybe even your loud mouth. You probably shouldn't have asked that because he can add a degrading nickname by himself, but he's currently drying his hair with another towel and he looks so attractive that you don't want him to stop. Maybe if hot men didn't reduce you to shambles, you'd actually be in a relationship by now.

He chuckles, and you're hoping he isn't making fun of you inside his head. However, he just shakes his head no, flinging the towel over his shoulder.

"Just your name. You can add a little heart after it if you'd like."

"A heart? Why?" you voice out, or at least you try to with the best of your ability because your throat suddenly feels parched.

"Cause you're cute. I don’t just ask everyone who borrows a towel for their number, you know."

"Oh." you whisper, and maybe it's finally time to listen to the delusion in your brain, "So you suggested meeting up later so you can... see me again. Romantically."

"You're a little silly, you know? It’s okay though; it’s adorable."

"I'm sorry, it's just, you make me a little lightheaded. I'm so much more composed normally, promise."

"Don't worry," he grins, poking your cheek, "I like you when you're flustered. I'd love to see more of it, but only if you want to, of course."

Before you can even respond, you’re interrupted by yelling from the distance.

"Y/N!" you hear, and you both turn to see Karina waving at you from her convertible, "What's taking you so long?"

You turn back to him hurriedly, not knowing what to say. The whole situation already feels like a dream, and you’re scared it’ll fade away as soon as you acknowledge it, or even worse, simply be some form of amusement to him. You’re hoping that you’re not just a joke to him.

"Um, I have to go," you whisper, clutching onto the towel, "but yeah, I'd love to, um,"

"Go on a date with me?"

"Yes. That."

You wave quickly, your brain going a little too haywire to say anything more, and you rush to Karina's car. She's staring at you with a raised eyebrow, but you don't answer because what you hear next resolves any questions she has.

"Text me later, pretty!" Juyeon shouts from the shower, and you feel like the ground is going to swallow you whole as Karina's eyes widen.

It definitely doesn’t seem like it’s a prank anymore. Not when he’s announced his interest for the whole beach to hear.

"Tell. Me. Everything."

"Well," you start, hearing her rev up the vehicle and the wheels start turning, "he's really hot, for one. Also, he asked me on a date. Am I dreaming?"

"See, this is why I’m always right. I told you the shower was a good idea!"

"Yeah,” you respond, leaning back in your seat, “I just didn't know it would be this good."

[theharrowing]

i'm boycotting hybe merch and i think you should too

listen: i'm not going to hold anyone's feet to the fire and say "boycott or else" and i am not going to unfollow or unfriend people, but i have been thinking a lot about this, and then i saw a post on twitter basically outlining everything that i have been mulling over & then some, and it has just been on my mind all day (and tbh for a few days) and i thought that maybe if i put these thoughts out into the world, it might get people thinking.

i also realize that these thoughts would have been better if realized before black friday and current merch drops, but it is what it is. i didn't even know they were doing another merch drop because i do not pay attention.

THE AFOREMENTIONED THOUGHTS; APOLOGIES FOR BEING SCATTERED:

we are witnessing the starbucks boycott working, and although it is yet to be stated whether that is making anyone on the upper level rethink their bullshit, they have been losing billions !!! of dollars.

i think people will be like "but i don't want to hurt BTS as people," and i hear that, but i also do not genuinely think a boycott would. they are literally fucking millionaires, and it is so hard to not get on my "i don't respect millionaires or believe they have the right to exist" soapbox when i do love them so much, but i also don't think they need our money, especially right now. especially because some (if not most) money can't go to them while they are in the military anyway (although i did see something about how the artist collection proceeds still might since it was initially sold before??? idk. still they are fucking millionaires.)

i think that what would be impactful would be for people to stop buying the merch for a while to send a message to hybe that we are not in support of zionists working with BTS. a romantic, faraway dream is for them to drop scooter braun's dumbass all together, but i do not genuinely think hybe or bang pd gives a shit about much beyond money, which is unfortunate. on this note tho, we could organize an email campaign??? i am more than down??? but it would depend on a lot of you participating. (if you're down tho i will type it up right away.)

do i think we need to boycott golden as a whole? no. i mean........i'm not buying the album because i have personally been more or less boycotting merch since the whole angel pt. 1 debacle, but i think that streams are fine bc they hardly bring in money anyway. but i am boycotting the justin timberlake and usher remixes because.......well, sorry but the favs are problematic.

[going to center myself and my feelings quick and i apologize...] i just cannot get through a day without sobbing uncontrollably about what is happening in gaza. and i cannot, in good faith, support zionists or people who work with them. this falls in line with BTS preaching for us to "love yourself, speak yourself." everything they have stated in UN speeches and in many of their lyrics makes me feel like the only thing i can do as a fan is stand up for injustices when i see them, and hybe working with zionists is a huge injustice. and if you disagree.......idk. i cannot sympathize with or understand you; this post is not for you.

i think it is a huge injustice to what BTS instills in people and makes them believe if we sit back while hybe does whatever the fuck they want without caring about the consequences.

(disney is also on the list, by the way, of companies that support israel. if you need illegal links to disney+ bts content, we can figure something out.)

also, i will say that while silence is violence and choosing neutrality is choosing the side of the oppressor, i wonder if the reason none of the guys are speaking out about the conflict has to do with their enlistment (aka something pertaining to matters i do not understand within the korean government) or within the company itself because they work with scooter et al (aka bang telling them to stay quiet.) whatever the reason is, i guess i am choosing the side of wishful thinking right now. i have absolutely no proof for any of these thoughts, but i do see some people angry at BTS for not speaking up, and while i agree that everyone should use their platforms, i am wondering aloud whether there might be a reason for it. this is not me making excuses for anyone, though........i just don't know. i have no idea.

SOME FINAL FINAL THOUGHTS:

at the end of the day, we can only do what we can. if you can only boycott so much, you can only boycott so much. it takes time and effort to radicalize to the point of cutting out so many unnecessary things what we deem as "necessary." but it is possible. your money does make a difference, and wouldn't you want that difference to be good? and if you do have a moment of weakness, it is important to continue to stay the path and do not let guilt make you feel one way or another. we all make mistakes but the important thing is that we try.

ALSO if you want cute merch, support independent artists!!!!!!!!! the BTS army is full of amazing creatives and your money can help them for a little while instead!!!

i might be missing a lot, like i said, my brain is super scattered. but if this resonates or speaks to you or there is more i should consider, please reach out.