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supraveng · 4 years

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Moving On (3/?)

part 2

Summary: you have to confront your past….what could go wrong

Characters: Sam Winchester x reader, former Bucky Barnes x reader, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Steve Rogers, Thor Odinson, Bruce Banner, Kevin Tran, Dick Roman, Maria Hill, Nick Fury

Word Count: 2508

A/N: sorry for the delay on part 3, (work has been crazy)....hoping to post the next chapter next week

does not follow any MCU story line; attempting an MCU/SPN crossover; let me know if you want to be tagged in the next chapters

@iamwarrenspeace

@mythandmagik @lieswithoutfairytales @bbmommy0902 @hailmary-yramliah @jessyballet @paryl @tcc-gizmachine @vicmc624

You were in a daze and barely remembered getting back to your room, you heard Sam talking but you couldn’t grasp anything other than Thor telling you about your pregnancy. Something that you would never expect to happen and you were certainly not ready for.

“Sweetheart? Are you ok?” Sam looked at you worryingly.

“Yea, uh, I um, I’m ok” you nodded “I am in need of a shower and uh, yea.” Looking up at Sam, you saw the biggest smile on his face

“I can tell you are worried, and I know this wasn’t your plan, but I’m so happy right now I can’t help it. We’re having another baby!” he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a comforting hug.

“I love you so much, Sam” just a hug from him helped your anxious thoughts to quiet down for a few moments. “Wanna join me in the shower?” you winked as you turned and headed towards the bathroom.

Making your way back to the common room, after a very long and rejuvenating shower, you tried your best to focus on what to do next. Your head is spinning, as excited as you are about having another child, this wasn’t planned and kind of throws everything out of whack.

You huff as you plop down on the couch next to Kevin, watching Morgan and Joy have a tea party in the middle of the room with all of their favorite animals.

“So Kev, we are probably heading home tomorrow, so if there is anything you want to see while in NY, now is your chance” you tell him knowing he’s been enjoying this trip as much as you have.

“Oh, I thought we’d be here longer, I was hoping to catch a show, but I haven’t been able to find affordable tickets, so maybe next time” he shrugs in response.

“Don’t be silly, I’m sure i can have Tony pull some strings and get you tickets for tonight, or we could move your return flight home, whichever you prefer really. Anything for Kevin Tran, world’s best nanny” you smile at him and see the small blush on his cheeks from the praise.

“I’m serious, whatever you need, just say the word, you have no idea how relieved I am when she’s with you, because I know you take such good care of her, I don’t worry for a minute, you Kevin, are a Godsend if there ever was one”

You could tell Kevin was a bit taken back, but he rarely took a compliment well so you simply squeezed his hand and offered a sincere smile before being interrupted by Sam as he joined the girls on the floor for tea.

“What do my girls say to a picnic then maybe a trip to the park?”

"That sounds like a great plan, but I have an appointment with Maria after lunch so I can't make it to the park, I'm sorry sweetie" you tell them as you go to join them for tea.

"Well, we could picnic here and maybe play down at the lake, I'm sure Tony has a kayak or canoe I can take the girls on." Sam tells you as you adjust the flower crown on his head so it doesn't fall in his eyes.

"Are you sure you want to take care of 2 kids by yourself? I gave Kevin the rest of the day off"

"Of course, and I need the practice" he winks as he starts to tickle the girls. "Ok, then I will get our lunch ready while you help the girls out of these beautiful gowns and into some play clothes''

Lunch was an event, although both girls were always well behaved, they had a tendency to make a mess, or get distracted and try to follow the butterfly that came by for a visit. By the time you were done, you were rushing to meet Maria in time, knowing that being late was not an option.

You knew what needed to be done but not sure how she would take the info about Roman getting away, hopefully the few of his lackeys that were picked up would get you some important info.

By the time you made it back to the compound you were mentally exhausted, and apparently your clan had a good day as they were spread out in the common room watching The Little Mermaid. You had to laugh at how engrossed in the movie the adults in the room seemed to be, and was Steve singing along...no, you had to be imagining that.

Finding a seat next to Nat, you looked around fondly at your two families combining so nicely.

“So how did she take it?” Natasha whispered without taking her eyes off the screen.

You hadn’t told anyone what your full intention of today’s meeting was, as far as everyone knew, you were going over the mission report and strategizing the next steps, but Nat always knew everything….now that you were having two kids, you really needed to figure out how to do that.

“Well, she’s not thrilled but understands, Furry asked if he had to buy me a farm….whatever that means” you responded shaking your head.

She snickered and simply responded with “Clint”, you hadn’t even thought of that, “ah, well, Sam Winchester is not the Mr. Mom type, so this is my only option”

“And are you ok with that?” she asks, finally turning and looking at you.

“Honestly, I can’t imagine anything better” you sigh as you look over at Joy napping on Sam’s chest.

“Good, you deserve all the happiness in the world” she gives you a small hug. “And Tony’s throwing a dinner tonight, since you are leaving tomorrow, so be prepared”

You roll your eyes in jest, knowing Tony would probably do something like that, “well, in that case, I’m going to try and take a nap before dinner”.

Getting up you make your way to Sam and bend over to place a small kiss on his head, “I’m going to try and grab a nap, do you two want to join me?” you whisper in his ear, not wanting to interrupt anyone’s movie time…..and now I’m certain Steve is singing along ang actually knows all the songs.

He smiles and nods, following behind you and into the room you are staying in

Sam got Joy settled in her crib before turning back to me, pulling me into a much needed hug. “How do you always know when I need you?” you mumbled into his chest.

“That’s my job” he smiled down at you “so I take it the meeting didn’t go well?”

"It went as well as could be expected, I'm just trying to wrap my head around the time frame I gave them. Two weeks is a bit short to transition my cases to someone else and pack up my apartment but, the sooner the better I suppose" you are rambling as Sam put Joy in her crib and is now sitting on the bed watching you.

"You are relocating? Are you moving back to NY? I didn't realize that was an option when you made this trip…..does this have anything to do with Bucky?" he barely whispers with a worried look on his face.

"What? Sam, no, none of this has to do with Bucky" you aren't sure why he thought that and look at him confused.

"I…..I remember how broken hearted you were when we met, if you still love him, I would like to know…..I deserve to know since you are the mother of my children" you had never seen Sam so distressed in your life.

He was the most confident man you had ever met, the lawyer that owned the courtroom as soon as he walked in. You couldn't believe that he would ever be concerned with someone you used to date.

"Oh Sam" you hold his face in your hands as you settle in his lap. "There is nothing left between Bucky and I, he was a part of my past, and might be a friend in the future, but you are the only man I have ever truly loved with my entire being" looking into his eyes you see some relief so you lean in and kiss him softly but passionately.

"The meeting was my resignation, or retirement as SHIELD prefers to call it. I'm leaving DC so we can all be together in Kansas all the time."

He looks at you shocked "you quit? You love your job, I didn't think you would ever leave."

You smile at him "I do, I love my job, but my family, you, our kids are so much more important than any job could ever be"

"Our kids" he whispers as you runs his hand over your stomach "we're having another baby and our family will all be under one roof….this has been an incredible day" he looks at you lovingly before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you as close to him as possible.

"I'm sorry I didn't explain that before I left, but you know how exhausted I was the first time, there's no way I could continue this case on Roman being pregnant. Speaking of, do you think we could change the wedding date? If we stick with our current plan, I'll be a whale walking down the aisle" you grimace at the thought of waddling in a wedding dress.

He chuckles at you before kissing you, "whatever you want is fine by me"

"Do you think your mom would be ok with us planning something small in the next month or so, before I start showing?"

He laughs at your excitement to move things along so quickly "mom would love it, she works well under pressure"

"Ok, let's try to rest before your princess wakes up" Sam and you snuggle into the bed wrapped up in each other's arms.

It felt like you had just closed your eyes when you suddenly felt the bed shift. Opening your eyes slowly, you came face to face with beautiful hazel eyes, had it not been for the giggles and tiny hands patting your cheek, you might have thought you were looking at Sam.

“Joy sweetie” you whisper “how did you get out of your crib?” pulling her down to snuggle with you a bit longer.

“Tevin hep me out” she giggles again before getting up and climbing over you to sit on Sam’s torso. He didn’t move, but you could tell by his breathing that he was awake, and most likely ready to strike on Joy at any moment.

It’s one of the things you love when you are all under one roof. Not living in the same state is hard, and you both worked really hard to make things as normal as possible for Joy, but seeing them together, simple little things like this made your heart swell.

She adored her dad, and had no idea it wasn’t normal for you to all be in the same house, but that would soon change. Before you were too lost in your thoughts, Joy was squealing while Sam was tickling her, the fake sleep surprise attack never failed.

Looking at them you laughed and attempted to get out of the bed, but you heard Sam whisper “let’s get mommy” and before you knew it, you were being tickled and attacked by both of them.

By the time the three of you made it to dinner, everyone was there and of course Tony had everything catered and a full staff serving, and of course he needed to make a toast to make sure everyone knew it was an official ‘family’ dinner.

Clinking his glass he raised it in the air and everyone followed suit, you were about to grab the wine glass but quickly changed to the water in front of you.

“To an ever expanding family, salut” Tony cheered as everyone followed suit and took a drink. The table was full of laughter and chatter from everyone, even Morgan and Joy were chatting away as the best of friends.

“So Sam” Bruce turned toward Sam “how did you propose to Y/N?” for some reason, that question got most of the tables attention and everyone was looking at the two of you.

“Well, which time?” Sam asked with a smirk.

You knew that this would come to bite you in the ass one day, but you had hoped it was with Sam’s family, not yours.

“Wait…..you proposed more than once?” Steve asked, you could tell he was trying to seem like it was an innocent question, but he was really trying to understand the person you had become since you left NY.

“Three times to be exact” Sam said with more confidence than you had expected. You shook your head knowing everyone expected an explanation and you were about to speak when Sam squeezed your hand under the table.

“Well, the first time was when we found out that our little Joy was on the way. However, in Y/N defense, we were only together 3 or 4 months at that point, so it probably felt a bit rushed. The second was about 15 minutes after Joy was born and it was a very emotional day for all of us. The successful proposal was just a few months ago, and we went on a little road trip, and I proposed at the same chapel where her parents were married” Sam turned to you fondly and placed a sweet kiss on your cheek.

“Wow, you are even more difficult than Pepper, I never realized that before” Tony smirked as he lifted his glass.

“Very funny, Tony. In my defense, the first two were spur of the moment emotional proposals and not thought through. I didn’t refuse, but knew that you needed to really think things out before taking such a big step” you tried to explain your reasoning, but not sure if it was for yourself or everyone else.

“They may have been spur of the moment, but they were most definitely thought through” Sam replies with a smug look while still eating and assisting your daughter with her meal.

You looked up at him a bit confused and was about to ask more when he continued by bringing your hand to his lips and gently kissing your knuckles.

“I bought that ring after our 3rd date, I just had to convince you that I wanted you for who you are and not what you have given to me since we met.”

You were shocked, you had no idea he knew for that long that he wanted this life with you, it had all felt it just happened and you went with it. You were actually speechless at this point and could see the glint in his eyes as you processed what he said. Leaning in, you kissed him gently and looked into those amazing hazel eye, this is where you always belonged.

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captain-ross-poldark · 3 years

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Poldark’s Aidan Turner on playing Leonardo da Vinci

Ed Potton

Friday 2 April 2021

Aidan Turner takes on the role of Renaissance polymath LeonardoJUSTIN SUTCLIFFE/EYEVIN

I’m trying to work out where Aidan Turner is Zooming from. Is it London, where he moved to in 2017 after his Ross Poldark became the drooled-over king of Sunday-night television? Dublin, where he grew up, trained as an actor and returned to spend the first lockdown with his parents? Or Rome, where he shot his new series, Leonardo, in which he plays a young Leonardo da Vinci?

“None of the above!” Turner says. “I’m in Toronto.” The enigmatic charm, feline eyes and gleaming locks that he deployed so mercilessly in Poldark, The Hobbit films and Being Human are all there. “My missus is working here,” he explains, and so is he. That’s the American actress Caitlin FitzGerald, his partner of three years, whom he met when they starred in the 2018 film The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot. At first I assume the “missus” is laddish affectation but it turns out that it’s official: Turner and FitzGerald, both 37, got married in secret in Italy in August after filming finished on Leonardo. You can almost hear the sighs of disappointment ripple around the world.

Turner won’t say any more — he is famously guarded about his personal life — but he looks insanely happy in the couple’s rented apartment. FitzGerald — whose grandfather Desmond was a CIA agent and organised several plots to assassinate Fidel Castro — is shooting a series, Station Eleven, in Toronto while her husband works on another project that he’s not allowed to talk about. In their downtime they’ve been watching I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, an HBO documentary series about the Golden State Killer, and, on a lighter note, Ottolenghi and the Cakes of Versailles. They share the apartment with Charlie, an ebullient Norfolk terrier that Turner has to eject from the room halfway through our interview when he starts yapping. “I’m surprised he behaved for so long,” he says.

Eight-part series Leonardo has been criticised for warping historyPA

Like many of his fellow thesps, Turner has been doing a great deal of lockdown painting. “We have a roof garden here and the light has been really good,” he says. “I probably shouldn’t be saying this because I don’t know if the landlord knows. It’s not messy work anyway!” Unlike some of his peers — I’m looking at you, Pierce Brosnan — he has yet to unleash his daubings on the world. How would he describe his style? “I struggle to say abstract, but I haven’t quite figured out what it is yet.” Did it help with playing Leonardo? “I don’t know. If you saw my paintings, you’d assume very much not,” Turner says. He has a studied line in self-effacement, honed after years of “sexiest man on TV” questions.

Leonardo premiered in Italy last month and was watched by seven million, many of them doubtless keen to see Turner brooding in a succession of smocks. The eight-part series has been criticised for warping history, having the artist accused of murder and featuring an apparently fictional muse, Caterina da Cremona, played by Matilda De Angelis from The Undoing. Luca Bernabei, the chief executive of Lux Vide who produced the series, defended it stoutly. “Matilda De Angelis’s character did exist. She was a model Leonardo asked to paint,” he said. “We have been really careful in our research. But this is not a documentary, we are not historians and this is not a university history lecture.”

And if the history pedants are spluttering, the art pedants should be happier — the series goes to considerable lengths to make the painting look authentic. Each episode is themed around a different masterpiece, from the portrait of Ginevra de’ Benci to The Last Supper to the Mona Lisa, and the candlelit cinematography is often sumptuous. Turner’s research included a private view of a Leonardo exhibition. “I spent some time alone with the actual paintings, which was brilliant,” he says. “They’re just like high-definition photographs. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that a human had done this.”

Aidan Turner attended an artist’s boot camp before filming startedVITTORIA FENATI MORACE

The series opens in Florence in the 1460s, with Leonardo a pupil of Verrocchio, played by the veteran Italian actor Giancarlo Giannini. Before the shoot Turner and his co-stars went on an artists’ boot camp (brush camp?) supervised by professionals. He says the hardest part was learning to paint, as Leonardo did, with his left hand. He compares it to learning to ride a horse for Poldark, which he pretended he knew how to do before going on a crash course when he got the part.

Brushwork was the same, he says. “I realised I had to get good quite quickly and look like I knew what I was doing with my left hand, which is more difficult than you would think. It’s keeping it steady — you find it just moves around a lot. Leonardo was very slow and precise — I think I got it down. After a few weeks you start picking up the brush with your left hand, it becomes natural.”

Leonardo was a vegetarian, Turner tells me, “and apparently later in life opened some sort of vegetarian restaurant”. He was also gay, something that, despite reports, the series does not shy away from. Was this Turner’s first time kissing a man on screen? He laughs. “Of all the things I was expecting you to ask next, that wasn’t one of them! In a lot of ways it was just another love scene. The fact that the gender was different — that was never a thing. No, it felt right. It didn’t feel any different at all. But yeah, to answer your question, that was the first time, which I’d never really thought of until now.”

What did feel weird, he says, were the Covid protocols. “Suddenly people are wearing masks and shields and hazmat suits. We had a big sanitisation machine as we walked in that would spray us. You take off the mask when you shoot the scene and it’s a bit strange for a second. Then you realise it’s the first time you’ve seen your co-star’s face that day. It’s not conducive to a very creative environment, for sure. But we made it work and nobody got sick.”

With his wife, the American actress Caitlin FitzGeraldREX FEATURES

Turner spends a chunk of the first episode painting De Angelis, and both actors know what it’s like to be ogled. She has been asked endlessly about her naked locker-room sequence in The Undoing, just as he has been reminded of his shirtless scything scene in Poldark. Before that there was his lusted-after vampire in Being Human and his sexy dwarf in The Hobbit — branded a “dwilf” in some quarters — although that “definitely wasn’t the intention”, he says. “I think I just had less prosthetics on my face. My make-up call was 20 minutes and everyone else was sitting in the chair in the morning for three and a half hours. It wasn’t good to be around the other dwarfs in the mornings, that’s for sure.

“I get why people are interested,” he says of the ogling. “It’s just when it keeps coming up.”

We move on. According to a recent survey Cornwall has overtaken London as the most desirable place to live in Britain. Does he think Poldark played a part in that? He laughs. “Maybe we nudged a few people in the right direction. I think people forgot how beautiful that side of the world is. One of the first reviews of Poldark we read was like: ‘We can’t believe that this is our country, it looks like the south of France.’”

Could Poldark return, and would Turner be in it? If they stuck to the chronology of Winston Graham’s books they would have to leap ahead a few years. Maybe he could play an aged-up Ross Poldark in latex and fake paunch? “I don’t know if I’d be keen on the ageing-up thing,” he says. “It never really works. I don’t know whether they need to be too strict with that gap anyway. There’s the possibility someday, maybe. I enjoyed working with everybody on Poldark, from the writers right down to all the cast and crew. It really is like a family. So I’d be open to chat about it. But not for a while.”

Turner with Eleanor Tomlinson in PoldarkMIKE HOGAN

Before that he will appear as the apostle Andrew in The Last Planet, the forthcoming biblical epic from Terrence Malick, revered creator ofThe Thin Red Line and The Tree of Life. Well, he doesn’t know for sure if he will appear. Actors of the calibre of Rachel Weisz, Mickey Rourke and Jessica Chastain have seen their performances in Malick films vanish during editing.

“You want what’s best for the film. And if you don’t fit into it, you don’t fit into it,” Turner says in the tone of hair-shirt devotion that actors tend to use when talking about Malick. With a cast including Ben Kingsley and Mark Rylance as Satan, the movie is meant to tell the story of Jesus through a series of parables. Turner doesn’t really have a clue, though.

“You don’t necessarily know what you’re signing up to. You’re signing up to Terrence Malick,” he says. The director has “a great way of working. Everything is around ‘where is the sun’ at this particular time. That’s our natural light and it’s all we use. So things happen fast. There’s no trailers, hair, make-up, we’re just all together. You don’t know from day to day what you’ll be doing. It’s quite renegade stuff. That’s the way I always wanted to work.”

It’s closer to the immediacy of the theatre, which is where Turner started out. The son of an electrician, Pearse, and an accountant, Eileen, he represented Ireland at ballroom dancing before falling into acting. After studying at the Gaiety School of Acting in Dublin he acted in plays for five years and in 2018 he returned to the stage to rave reviews in Martin McDonagh’s The Lieutenant of Inishmore in the West End. Rave being the operative word — his performance was bracingly unhinged. “I can’t wait to get back to the theatre,” he says. “That’s what we’re looking at probably next.”

Turner’s character in The Lieutenant of Inishmore was an Irish freedom fighter, but he is reluctant to talk about the prospect of Irish reunification (“So I don’t get shot when I get home,” he told one interviewer). Culture is safer ground, and his native country is going through a purple patch with Sally Rooney in literature, Fontaines DC in music and the likes of McDonagh, Jessie Buckley and Denise Gough in drama. “It tends to happen in waves,” Turner says. “Coming out of drama school, Colin Farrell was such a big thing. When these actors really make it you can feel some of their light begin to shine on the industry back home.”

Like Farrell, Turner is an international star, although it has mainly been in period roles: Poldark, Leonardo, Andrew and his breakout turn as the 19th-century poet Dante Gabriel Rossetti in the 2009 series Desperate Romantics. It must be something about the hair.

That could be about to change, though. Toronto often stands in for New York, which suggests that his current mystery project has a contemporary setting. Does he yearn to act in jeans? “Yeah, you’re right,” he says with a laugh. “After Leonardo, I think tights and knee-length boots are out for a while.” Many would beg him to reconsider.

All episodes of Leonardo will be on Amazon from April 16

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/poldarks-aidan-turner-on-playing-leonardo-da-vinci-wnmqhxqxr

#Sunday times #aidan turner #Leonardo

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myblueeyedbuggers · 3 years

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My Boys

Chapter 12

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Pairings: Steve Rogers X Reader (Best Friend) Bucky Barnes X Reader

Word Count: 2420

Warnings: Slight bit of swearing

Summary: After being abandoned by her parents in Brooklyn in 1929, y/n makes a living for herself by working for the Црни лабуд gang until she meets two boys in a back alley and her life slowing begins to change.

Eyup My loves! Soo How’s your week been? Good I hope, so a bit of news for you all, there’s only two/three more chapters left till this book is finished and then we’ll be moving onto (Drum roll) The First Avenger! Woooo! I hope you’re all as excited as I am. Anyways without anymore rambling, I give you chapter 12, enjoy!

So I can safely say that the rest of the week passed pretty quickly, with only a few ‘minor’ incidents, one of em being a massive food fight caused by yours truly and Steve getting himself stuck in the basement for 2 hours after seeing, and I quote ‘a possessed girl dressed as undead batman’.

I still haven’t told him that was me….oops

Apart from that it was pretty normal, cut to today where I’ve been blessed with the task of lookin’ after my best girl for Buck’s parents anniversary whilst they go into the city to celebrate, I mean it’s the least I could do for em. Plus, the last time the lads were trusted with lookin’ after Becca, Buck’s parents came home to the entire house covered in flour with Becca laughin’ at em cause they managed to lock themselves in a cupboard. We had to call the fire department to get em outta there.

Anyways, we kicked the boys outta the house so Becca and I could have a girls day in, now don’t get me wrong I absolutely adore this girl and I would practically do anything for her.

“Y/n can we play princesses please?! Mama got some dresses from our cousin we can wear!”

I can literally feel my soul burning right now. I honestly tried to say no, there’s nothing more I hate more that being forced into them things but one look into her bright little eyes made all my resistance die away and so I uttered the words that sealed my doom. “Of course, Becs only if we can have a tea party in em”. So here we are, me in a navy style party dress, lace covered my arms and the hem of the sweetheart neckline resting just on my collarbone, the knee length satin skirt covered my legs.

Honestly, I wasn’t as bad I thought it were gonna be, I even let my hair outta the classic ponytail it’s always in so Becca could style it a tiny bit, to her credit she did a decent job. My h/c locks fell in small waves across my back, with the longer strands near my face tucked behind my ears and Becs even convinced me to pop on some of her mama’s makeup. Now I ain’t a fool, I know makeup’s pretty expensive and only let her pop on a shimmery light gold eyeshadow and some tinted lip balm, much to her disappointment I confiscated the mascara, I refused to let that death stick near my eyeballs.

Becca looked absolutely adorable, we’d managed to find her dance dress from last year and it suited her down to the ground. Baby pink lace covered her arms up to her wrist, the middle part had little gems dotted here and there with a pink satin ribbon separating the skirt from the top, from the looks of it the skirt was made outta some layered netting that poofed outwards when she span around. Don’t ask me how but I managed to wrap some ribbons in her braids and added a lil tiara on the top of her head and if you’d asked me, she looked like a real-life princess to me.

“So, your highness, what would one prefer to do? Would one like to have tea in the parlour or waltz in the ballroom?” my attempt at the British accent was apparently appalling, judging by the level of giggles coming outs Becca’s mouth. Eventually she calmed down enough to give me an answer “I think a waltz would be most fun lady y/n” she said in an equally bad accent. Slowly a smile spread across my face as I moved over to the record payer, I didn’t even pay attention to which one I put on before I turned back to Becca and offered her my hand, lowering myself into a bow that looked like a squid tryin’ to tap dance. Very elegant I know.

You’d think after the past few weeks I’d been with the Barnes family, I’da got used to being tackled by the siblings, but alas I am surprised every-time, hence why I’m on the floor with a hyperactive 4 year old sat on top of me. Becca’s giggles filled the entire room, she quickly got off me and started jumping around to the sound of the jumpin’ jive and leaving me to slowly die on the floor, for all of 5 seconds before she yanked my arm outta my socket to get me dancing with her. I swear this girl isn’t even human, one second she’s sweet and delicate the next she’s bulldozing people to the ground and pullin’ em to the next life, I mean she’s 4 she shouldn’t be that strong!

Thank the lord she’s adorable. Quickly the music took over my mind, my feet moving along to the music, Becca was doin’ some twirls around me with the biggest smile on her face, I don’t know what made me do it but I grabbed her gently by the waist and spun us around in time to the music, her little arms reached into the air as we both laughed our heads off. Of course, me being me, I lost my balance and my butt suddenly met the sofa, with Becca landing next to me with a small yelp, it was quiet for all of 2 seconds before we burst out laughin’. Think it took us about 3 minutes before we calmed down, a comfortable silence fell between us, the music slowly faded to a stop as the record reached its end, and we stayed like this for a while before Becca broke the silence.

“Y/n, can you sing like mama? She don’t do it often cause it reminds her of my nana….” My eyes drifted over to Becs, her lil eyes dulled a little when she said it and now they were filled with a small glimmer of hope, and I really didn’t wanna be the reason for that light goin’ out. If I were being completely honest singin’ wasn’t something I ever wanted to do again, during my time with the Црни лабуд, singing was the only thing that made me feel like….well me I guess. It was the only sliver of light in so many years of darkness and once I was free from them I made myself a silent vow that I’d never do it again, that I was a new person. But one look in her little eyes was enough to make me break it. “I ain’t too bad, only know a couple of songs on the piano but I can try if you wanna”

Apparently Becca didn’t need to be told twice, in a flash of pink she was off to the other room, bellowing for me to follow her, I mean it ain’t like I gotta choice in the matter is it ? the sound of something hitting the floor in the room opposite me made me move even quicker (if that were even possible). Becca was stood in front of a oldish looking piano, a small bench was tuned over in front of her, and a white sheet was discarded on the floor next to her as she bounced up and down excitedly, I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I turned the bench over on it’s feet. Not even 2 seconds later Becca clambered up on it and looked at me with a bright smile, I swear she gets cuter every second like how does this happen ? I try it and I end up put away in a mental asylum.

“You got any requests princess ?” my legs carried me across the room and towards the seat, cracking my knuckles together and stretching out my fingers before turning to look at the younger lass, a look of concentration covered her face in response and it took her a few seconds to answer. “Dream a little dream of me ? think that’s what mama calls it” I swear I tried to stop the soft smile, but I really couldn’t help it this time. “sure sweetheart” and with that I hit the opening notes, the feeling of the keys under my fingertips were so familiar it was like no time had passed since I last played, I kept my voice soft and quiet as I sang. I think I was halfway through my second verse when I felt Becca cuddle into my side, she ducked her head under my arm and put her head in my lap, a soft yawn left her mouth as her eyes started to close to the sound of the music. It was at the end of the song that I looked at her again, soft snores escaped her mouth and her hand was grasping gently at the top of my skirt, I felt my heart melt even more that I thought possible, completely unaware of the small audience I’d gathered until a small cough came from behind me.

Aw shit…..

Bucky’s POV

If you’d told me a year ago, that after spending a couple of hours at Coney island with my best mate I’d come home to what must be an angels voice singing my sister to sleep. I’da never of believed ya, think you coulda imagined our confusion when me and Steve heard piano coming from the dining room. Steve shot me a look of pure bewilderment, and I couldn’t blame the guy to be honest, “thought you’d said your mama gave up piano couple a years ago”. I’m guessing my face mirrored his, cause I ain’t the slightest clue either, mama stopped playin’ years ago so who the heck could it be? “yeah she did bud, swore she’d never set her hands on it again…..”. I’m completely and utterly baffled at this point, where’s Y/n when ya need her ? she’d figure this out.

We both took a step towards the closed door, eager to know what the hell was going on when something stopped me, the sweetest sound I’d ever heard in my life sang along with the melody, I coulda sworn it sounded like the lullaby mama sang to us when we were kids. I guess I spent too long listening cause Stevie boy pushed past me and walked in, the sounds were so much clearer and more vibrant it felt like I’d died and gone to heaven right then and there. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I realised just who was creating this beautiful sound, there she was, sat in front of the piano as her fingers danced gracefully across the keys. Her voice, oh god her voice sounded like that of an angel, the weak afternoon sun shone over her hair and made her look even more angelic than humanly possible. I barely even noticed Becca asleep in her lap before Y/n finished her song and the ever-living pain in my ass decided to reveal that we were there. I mean he coulda chosen any other way of revealing our presence but no he had to let out the tiniest little cough, coulda got her back for the eyebrow incident….

Y/n literally went stiff as a board before she turned to look at us, her cheeks were red as a rose and a sheepish smile covered her face, it was only a couple of seconds after that both Steve and I noticed what she was wearing, he burst out laughin at her but me, I for once in my life couldn’t say a damn thing. She looked absolutely breath taking, her hair fell down in soft waves and framed her face, the shade of blue in her dress brought out the small flecks of green in her e/c eyes and brought out her hourglass figure. Her lips were drawn into a natural pout and it was that second it dawned on me she asked me somethin’….shit.

“whaaaa…….” Nice one Bucky.

Steve, the lil punk, could barely stop himself laughin’, at some point he’d moved to take Becca off Y/n and stood behind y/n with his fist in his mouth to smother his laughter. My best friend ladies and gentlemen. If looks could kill he’d be 10 feet under right now.

“Buck ? I was askin’ if you were okay ?” Y/n’s face showed a tiny bit of confusion and much to my horror amusement, “YeAh I’m okay….” And just at the moment puberty strikes in the form of a voice crack, as if this weren’t embarrassing enough. At this point Steve was barely keeping it together, he had actual tears coming outta his eyes and went bright red in the face tryin’ to stop himsen laughing, in front of me y/n furrowed her eyebrows and did look genuinely concerned for my mental state. She didn’t say anything for a few seconds, just looked at me before she lifted her hand to my forehead and held it here for a minute, thank god Steve chose to leave the room before this or I’da never heard the end of it.

“You sure you’re okay, feelin’ a bit warm and ya actin weirder than usual Buck” okay quick say something before this gets even more embarrassing, first thing that pops into ya head in 3,2,1…

“Yeah I’m sure, think I ate somethin’ funky down at the pier, makin’ me real gassy”……why am I like this? Normally I can charm any girl of their feet but with y/n, I’ma bumbling mess. She didn’t say a damn word, she just raised her eyebrows whilst a small smirk covered her face, before she turned and left me to have a very small breakdown underneath the dining table.

Meaning I let out a noise that sounded like a bear stubbing it’s toe in the middle of winter.

I thought my luck couldn’t get any worse, but nooo old lady luck decided today I needed a second helping, cause the second I did that Y/n walked back into the room. Brilliant. I was too busy stumbling over my words to processes what she was doin’, before I knew it she’d walked back to me and stood on her tip toes….then planted a small kiss on my cheek.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered Barnes”

And just like that, she left me with my jaw on the ground and heart beatin’ outta my chest, cause I’m starting to think that she was right. I’m sure as hell coming down with something, and I’m pretty sure it ain’t a regular ol’ bug…..

SOOO, if you got this far hope you enjoyed it, as always any feed back or constructive criticism is welcome, thank so much for reading and hope you have a great day/night/week.

lots of love

Rose xxx

#winter soldier x reader #winter soldier #captain america x reader #captain america #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #mcu #fanfic #reader #reader insert #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader

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desire-tenderness · 3 years

Text

𝔹𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕖

{This is a fanfic dreamed and desired. All I write about is my feelings, sensations and desires. TEXT BY: L.M} Day 1 - Embark on the dazzle. October 9, 2023, Monday. I am exhausted, the recording will begin on Tuesday at 11 am. I think I slept only 3 hours and 20 minutes or I’m just kicking it out loud. This was a very tiring trip I confess. Maybe because it was almost a change of two months and a week. On the bright side, the production has provided a nice apartment for me to live in. My new home is beautiful and comfortable, one block away from Crescent Street, here in Montreal - Canada. Honestly, I can’t believe I’m finally having the opportunity to work with Xavier Dolan, I left my family in Brazil to embark on this dream, I already miss them. I should tell you that I have no idea of the cast that will be on this project, but the script looks fabulous. Before I embarked on this opportunity, I realized a portion of the dream. I and 7 other members of the team dined with Dolan last Thursday, debated the first decupagents and agendas. We had already read the script before the meeting, is it a low-budget experimental drama, and honestly? I lost my breath. I’m not in the position of art director I’ve always dreamed of, but I’m in the position where I have full knowledge and experience. Curious, I am not trembling with nerves, I am completely at peace with this realization. However, very anxious. We’re less than two hours away from reuniting in Saint-Laurent with the cast of "A race by Joseph". [.... ] - Less than two hours later. Okay, I’m about to get my guts out from all the nerves. I’ve heard of some names on the list of actors, including Troye Sivan, Vincent Cassel, and Louise Coldefy. The team is sensational and fucking, Xavier is like a master for me. I need to make these days my best college. I’m at home/rental number six, it’s wonderful. I can see two cars coming through the window, and "God bless me so that Suzanne Clément is in this cast" [Spoiler, I wasn’t, I had to accept], I think I’m going to have an anxiety attack, I need to splash water on my face. I lost count of how many times I filled my hands with water and threw it in my face, I needed to understand that I was really living this moment. I came out of the bathroom apprehensive. Céline handed me a cup of tea mix of Sage, Eucalyptus, Lemon Peel and said "Hey, relax, I’ll see you in the living room.. ah, one more thing, don’t freak out". I feel a chill creeping all over my body as I walk through the door frame. Everyone was waiting for me in the room so we could debate the first two weeks of the recording. I could feel my legs swaying to the point of not having enough sustenance to stand. Timothée Chalamet was sitting on the arm of Dolan’s armchair in silence, reading what would be the 4°page of some document. Quickly he gets up and presents himself squeezing my hand gently. Silence has taken over the environment, I don’t remember my name. [I remembered! ] It was remarkable how difficult he was to pronounce it, it made it all very comical, in seconds we were all laughing. At that time, other cast members performed, but my thoughts were so far away that I don’t know if I missed any important information. [Damn, how many questions are going through my head right now? I don’t even have control over them. Stop! Focus, your future depends on this delivery. ]

[.... ] With the passing of the hours I was reasonably more relaxed and with an unparalleled feeling of gratitude for what was happening to me. We discussed the script, much of it together, the day was very productive. I kept looking at him, he’s so funny and authentic, I feel comfortable now. Obviously we wouldn’t be friends, he wouldn’t notice an assistant director [even though I’m the director’s right-hand man]. The team will be dining with the cast soon, it’s 5:47 pm and I haven’t been able to confirm my presence at this dinner. What’s my problem?! Celine: You’ll go, right? We’ll go home together and unpack. Me: Oh Céli, I don’t think I will. I have a lot to pack, tomorrow starts the recordings and I want to do everything right. Celine: No, you are not going to organize things by yourself. Nor has dinner there in the house, let’s eat please, I’m starving. Think you need to catch up! Me: Relax Celi, I’ll do things in my time, have a wine while I cook something and sleep early. Look, Wednesday we won’t record.. We can go downtown and get a quick look at the city, what do you think? Celine: You’re hopeless. Well, I’ll tell you about it. Arriving at the apartment I opened all the windows, and went to cook thinking about what the following days would be like. I decided then that I should not intensify anything, it could disrupt me at work and I can’t let my impulsive Aryan side get out of hand. I decided to go to the disco and see what the last song the host of the apartment heard. Well, did you start playing Nick Drake’s Pink Moon and honestly? I can’t let the pink moon get me. Fuck, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life, it’s as fascinating as on screens or in photographs. [Stop! Concentrate. ] [...] 00:01 am The wine bottle is 98% empty now. I have not yet fallen asleep and Celine is already in her 8th deepest sleep. I need to sleep. She said that they were so energized, that the team’s relationship is great and that she ate a delicious Poutine, I found it very courageous for those who will spend the whole day recording tomorrow. [I’m laughing alone while imagining a disaster] I will sleep and tomorrow will be the first day of my life. I swear I was born now and suddenly everything changed. Things will be built from now on. Timothée Chalamet? I hear you’re a good actor, I don’t know you. Good night and see you soon.

Part 2

Day 50 - And I’m probably happy, could it be different? November 27, 2023, Friday. There are times I do not write in this "virtual diary", my days are super busy. Today we finish the work a little earlier, we finish the movie! I think it’s 4:00 now. Right, and why did I come back to write? Well, I wanted to forget the feeling that took me completely 50 days ago. But today something has happened that does not allow me to escape any feeling that exists here. Louise is severely ill, Christ! We’re at the end of the shoot, she’s Timothée’s date, missing four takes of a kiss between them for her last acting scene. Dolan needed two different angles and he didn’t have a voice voice available so suddenly. Louise and I have very similar hair and what I feared went through Dolan’s mind. "Be the Double" he said. Yeah, Chalamet and I kissed today, and, hell, there was no professionalism on my part or for a millisecond, I feel terrible! I felt like I had been thrown out of a plane and I was in a free fall. My heart had never accelerated so much. My fantasy almost made me believe that one of the butterflies in my stomach was coming out of my mouth 1 minute later. Holy shit! [What if it was not reciprocal? Of course it was not, silly! We are friends. ] I’m so pissed about it, I’ll tell them why.

All these days I’ve really become friends with Timothée, can you believe it? I’ve always been very afraid to talk to him because he doesn’t find me interesting enough. But we have an unusual tune. We had a lot of coffee together, a lot of claquettes I hit due to recording mistakes, we went out with the guys several times, even "alone" and that’s okay, we talked about Brazil and he made sure to go there anytime, I even smoked one of his cigarettes, even hating cigarettes. We were talking about how funny Vincent is and how amazing he is, and we were talking about how they were both working for the first time with Xavier Dolan. We laughed at stupid things until the belly hurt and even bet race in the parking lot next to the location. [He won, of course, has huge legs].

One day we were together cutting fruit for the rest of the team on the set as we talked about Georges de La Tour, "That ordinary painter" I said, and he gave a delicious laugh. He’s much simpler than I thought he could be, carries an admirable humility. And I swear, it was fine, because I was fascinated by that friendship and I could feel that it would last for many years. I’ve learned to deal with your stunning beauty. I liked the way he accepted me and had fun with me. He didn’t think I was silly. I was working for a salary and a bright future, and suddenly I felt I had won the lottery until that moment after the kiss. I feel like I’m failing at my resolve. To finish screwing with my mind, Celine told me something that made me much more sensitive about a feeling that, I swear, once again, I had managed to forget. Although I often fantasized that a mood was going on, I knew it was impossible. He definitely sees me as the cool girl makes him laugh and that he can truly trust. Celine: Look. I, for recklessness, overheard Timothée talking to Troye about you. I did not hear enough but I must say that your tone of voice was of pure indignation... Troye said, "She’s the kind of girl you want so much, you feel sorry for". Me: God damn it, did he hate my kiss?! I’m going to die, Celine! Troye clearly should be making fun of the situation. Who am I supposed to show up at Dolan’s tomorrow for dinner? Celine: Calm friend, you are traveling.. I have noticed things and I will not open my mouth. Everything will be fine, seriously.. kiss the chalamet? How can you be angry about that? [laughed] By the way, tomorrow after dinner, I’ve arranged to spend the night at Julie’s, do you want to go? Me: Oh.. I’m not in the mood to hear Julie talk all night about the new vegan recipes, sorry, pal. Celine: Okay.. I won’t bring you nice things. [My phone vibrated. I was reluctant to look, but it could be work.. ] Text Msg Timothée: I hope you’re okay, you seemed strange going away. Want to talk? By the way, you did well in tonight’s performance, you should try harder. Me: Says my angel, how are you? I am well, of course I am. [laughs nervously and it was noticeable] I was just nervous to have to act for Dolan and know that I will see myself on a movie screen, even if at closed angles. By the way, Mr. Chalamet, thank you very much. I have the seal of approval that interests me hahah Msg of text Timothée: I like it. See you tomorrow? Me: Yes, of course, until tomorrow! Msg of text Timothée: [video uploaded]

Part 3

Day 51 - Ecstasy, landscape of the soul. November 29th, 2023, Sunday morning. I don’t know how to write about how last night went.. I was upset, but I remember everything. I won’t be able to keep this journal after that I’ll tell. We were all gathered at Dolan’s house, drinking and laughing a lot, toasting to finish this incredible project. I already felt completely dizzy and with the warm body, things kept spinning in my head, it was so beautiful. He wore a leather jacket over the green sweatshirt, had a golf cap (Odd Future) hanging on one of the pants straps where his belt was, the black jeans almost on his knee and a red vans, and that hair.. that hair! It’s like a restless ocean. I was wishing to walk across the room and kiss him again with all the intensity that belongs to me, he would like it this time. My body was on fire, suddenly I was frozen, it’s coming toward me. I knew I could spoil any conversation by being totally random and awkward, I was dying of shame in advance. Timothée: Are you happy? Me: Sure, congratulations! You did a great job, I’m very proud of all of you. Timothée: Thank you, but none of this would have been the same if you weren’t on the team, right? Me: Right! [Cheers] [Silence] Timothée: What are you thinking right now? Me: Who you are, Where you’re from, don’t care what you Did as long as you love me..[I started singing As Long As You Love Me by the Backstreet Boys, really?] Timothée: Oh my God! [He laughed almost for the world to hear]. Are you going to Julie’s with Céline? There’s going to be a vegan class. I’d like a pizza, okay? Me: Look.. I also wanted a pizza instead of vegan food.. But I’m getting dizzy and I think I’m gonna go home and do my drunken show in the shower. Timothée: Ah.. Right, you’re dizzy, but you still know how many fingers you have here? [He did an 8 with his fingers] Me: Yes, of course. I’m fine, man, I’m weak but not that weak. Give me a skateboard there! [I screamed, and they didn’t take me seriously] Timothée: So.. we can go for a coffee to break the alcohol and fill the stomach with a piece of pizza, what do you think? Me: Wooah! Come on, send world pizza! [I couldn’t say no, I was completely taken. ] We got to what used to be a kind of blinker-light coffee, it had a super-hot vibe. We sat down and made the request, we laughed drunk and said nothing that made sense, I felt our friendship alive again. However, the silence and the exchange of looks came, so we could hear the music that played in the background. It was "And I Love Her" by the Beatles”. Suddenly he began to sing. Timothée: "She gives me Everything and Tenderly. The Kiss my Lover brings, she brings to me and I love her." Me: Yeah.. beautiful music. You sing over and over again better than me. When did you start playing music? [My hands started sweating] Timothée: [he laughed] Are you all right? Me: Timmy. .ah.. I think I’m going home to take another shower, rest and call my family, I don’t know. Timothée: Okay, I’ll accompany you, I can’t let you go back alone so late. Me: You don’t need my angel. I’m a ninja! [I made the shameful gesture of a martial coup and tripped. The truth is I wanted him to insist] Timothée: Without that [laughed] let’s go!

We got to the apartment, he came up with me and put his coat on the couch. I offered him water, am I pathetic? He said he did not want to, but that if possible, he would like to stay. I felt as if we were talking by telepathy, I am not crazy. He feels the same. I said he could stay, even super apprehensive. I took two cigarettes from Kumbaya that I made on Tuesday and shouted from the room "let’s get some air on the balcony while we smoke!?". Upon returning to the room, he had put Cigarettes after sex to play, silently. Nothing but the music. Breaths. Another dose of silence. My body pumped blood with so much speed, [says something] I thought. He touched my right hand and looked at me. Those green eyes made me feel warm inside as never before. I got up the courage to pull him to the balcony that led to the fire escape. The sky was beautiful and the wind touching our faces was like a sky giveaway, I needed that fresh night air. Timothée: Do you need me to say it? I can say it. Me: I know what you’re going to say and I’m terrified. You want me too. Timothée: I want to. You make me feel good. I feel my presence truly when I share a moment with you. "Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m going to feel in my life. And from now on, I won’t feel anything new. " Me: I promise that one day I will feel that everything is right. but it feels so wrong. Man, I feel like I’m living a fanfic, and I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and none of this ever happened, or worse, if it’s real, our friendship being compromised by what’s possibly going to happen here. He put his hands on my face, kissed my forehead. Timothée: The heart is not like a box that fills, L. It expands in size, the more you love someone. I’m different from you. It doesn’t make me love you any less. It actually makes me love you more. I want you. Me: Right.. We are here only briefly, and at this moment I want to allow myself joy. I want that, Timothée. And I promise that one day I will feel like everything is fine. He lovingly bowed to touch his lips to mine. Feeling those soft lips against mine, it was almost like an apocalyptic sensation, the world could end right there, would have no problem. We kissed as we entered through the large window of the room, the first pieces of clothing filling the lonely floor of the room. The music Sunsetz conducted our intimate dance. The words "you have to do the right thing, do the right thing" started to disappear from my head.

I feel overflowing out of the body, sensitive, I am under the effect of exaltation, very intense feelings of joy, pleasure, admiration, reverent awe... Timothée. I truly love him. We are lying on the living room floor, apparently wrapped in a curtain that has been disastrously removed. Timothée, his breath is hot, the sound coming out of his mouth shivers my body. We were like the painting of Egon Schiele - Gli Amanti (L'Abbraccio).

Blackout. Light. The voice of an angel reaches my ear. My eyes open. He looked at me in silence, I could smell his mildly sweet citrus smell all over the room. Its aroma stimulates my sensations. Timothée: I’ll make you a cup of coffee. I’ll be careful with the amount of sugar, it’ll be just the way you like it. Keep lying down, angel. Geez, what happens now? I don’t know, he doesn’t know, you don’t know. Anyway, I feel complete.

#timothée chalamet #tchalamet #timothee chalamet #timothee #fanfic #art #xavier dolan #cigarettes after sex #the beatles #nick drake #backstreet boys #movie #music #bright are the stars that shine

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mamanars02 · 3 years

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I AM PROFESSIONALLY CONNED BY MY HUSBAND A SELF PROCLAIMED GOOD GUY Oo day, ang Ganda ko pero naloko ng pangit. Pano ba nangyare? Ganito bhie, Mahaba ang kwento pero di kasinghaba ng titi ng asawa ko. Year 2011, I met my husband in KSA. I am still young back then, and still madly inlove with my year LDR boyfriend. My husband courted me, even though he is aware I was in a relationship, he tried. He befriended me and since he proclaimed himself as a very good guy with some flaws in life, being a father of a teenage girl, so, I thought back then, OMG he was such an honest GUY. OO, naniwala ako, uto uto ang peg. Then, my 7 year relationship ended. Chance nya na.. Grab the opportunity ginawa ng Lolo nyo. Brokenhearted, I gave my husband a chance. Brokenhearted, I made a choice to give in to him, sexually, in KSA (di ako malibog, nagtry Lang ang gaga, bilis nga, di ako nasiyahan.) He proposed to me then on, not in a very romantic way as I would like to imagine. He just handed me the ring and just said the word, Marry Me. (Walang ka sweet sweet, kahit I sang langgam di malasahan and proposal kasi Walang tamis) But I am so young back then,fresh pa ako bhie, and he is 11 years older than me, gurang na sya in short. Kinilig pa rin ako (or pinaniwala ko sarili ko siguro that time) , even though my heart sank hoping he would have proposed formally. We planned our wedding, but he is not that participative. Parang, o sya, planuhin MO lahat aatend Lang ako. It is like I am marrying myself alone, but when it comes to meeting me, to have sex with me, I can feel the excitement he is showing me (wagas ang libog ng Lolo nyo) . His family never did the traditional pamamanhikan nor meeting my parents to pay respect for taking my hand in marriage. How ignorant of me in those times. I guess I am really blinded by the old guy. He just called my parents through phone and say, “Hello Nay, Tay, I would like to marry your daughter.” and conversation ended. I felt the pain and hesitancy of my parents back then. Their anxiety and fear for me, their one and only princess, being taken by this middle age guy, a total stranger who never came to meet them. I am a fucking asshole. My family ignored those facts and questions in their mind. They love me, and they saw the excitement and happiness that I am getting married. (I am so lucky with my parents) As months has passed, I started doubting myself to get married to him, I noticed some flaws. I started to feel being used as a trophy girlfriend, a sexual object. Parausan Lang feel gurl??? I was ready to end our relationship, and the unfortunate event happened. Our affair has been reported by our fellow Filipino colleagues. I was so scared and helpless, afraid of getting jailed and deported. I am not ready to become a young jobless woman. My siblings need me, financially to support their studies. I can’t afford seeing my siblings’ future taken away because of my stupidity. Gaga kasi, gurl. Yan ang napala ng pag explore. So, I got married in an instant, in the Philippine Embassy of Riyadh. The place where Filipino couples getting married in a conservative, strict country like KSA. I got married in a rush, without the presence of my family. Me… Alone… And that’s how my husband had the chance to con me. Pano ba? Sexually,.. Hmmmm… He drained all the youth in me, wow.. Maka drain Lang eh no? Having me in bed almost every day and night, Kung pwede nya ako chukchakin ng 5 beses, ay gagawin nya.. Nakuha nya kasi ambata eh. I am not sexually accomplished, but I pretended to be. He is harsh at times, he wanted to see how I react. His foreplays are rough. And I want it to end, so I did my role of being sexually in to it. I dreamed to be a good wife. A wife that will fulfill my husband’s needs, physically, sexually, emotionally, even financially. I wanted to become a mother as well, so we got pregnant in one try. I thought he will become a caring husband, an excited father to be thought it is not his first time. But, in the first check up I had, he

chose to spend his time with his so called friends rather than assisting me and be with me in my first ultrasound. I was hurt. I never expected that. Mabait sya, my mind says. Months has passed, my pregnancy is very much stable. Still working tough even on my 38th week. Malakas to, bhie.. In those months together, he was insisting on taking bank loans. I am hesistant. I am not the type of person who likes to have UTANG because I want my salary complete. However, he had me say Yes. I took a loan and it was approved because my salary is high enough to meet their required scale. Just like that, when I received the loan, he took charge of it. Sent the money to his parents, telling me they will starts to build a house for us in their place. Since I believed their words, I just went on with the flow, not knowing his father is taking a Chunk of money as well to gamble. I was able to deliver my first child normally. I was such a happy proud mother. He is as well but since having a child in KSA is difficult without having someone to take care of my son. We have to sacrifice and send our son home to the Philippines. It was my first, greatest heartache and it will always be until now. I tried to be strong for my child’s future and my husband is giving 500 riyals share for my son monthly out of the 4000 riyals he is receiving from his salary, while I share 2000 riyals, Mas Madatung ako eh.. I did not bother to ask for more not unless it is my son’s birthday or it is Christmas time. Di ako demanding, Promise. Because I tried to understand his situation that he has another child to feed and my salary is higher. The loan I took, I am paying 2/3 of it monthly, while he shares 1/3 of it. Trying hard ako maging perpekto ng asawa. Every vacation we will divide our weeks from my place to his place. Nevertheless, another ill fated event occurred. We had a fight in his place. And his father suddenly involved himself in our argument and threw us out from their place, in the house I spent my money with which his father gambled as well. Lakas ng loob Kaya sigawan kami, PUTANG INa LUMAYAS KAYO DITO! Ako naman, e di layas. Masunuring Bata. He let his father throw us out in the middle of the night. Yet, I am strong (though sa utak ko, tang Ina pigilan MO naman ako asawa ko, and my situation be like, ASA KA GURL). So, I took my siblings with me and went to our relatives house. I could not fathom the fact that he let me wander in the middle of the night with my siblings. Parang, bahala ka kahit mamatay ka situation. Ganon. Nonetheless, ignorant me. We patched things up, I could not let my child grow up with a broken family. And the same goes by. My life revolved with same routine. Giving money, covering my child’s expenses and I let it all happen. My mistake,maganda pero gaga naman.. I believed in him. Really. Sabi nya kasi mabait sya. With the pangako also to fix the ownership of our house. (Asa PA more, ne.) And there it goes. Years passed, I got employed by a better employer in Saudi, higher salary. And again, he convinced me with another loan. And I gave in, tanga Lang pero maganda. Yan nalang pakonswelo sa sarili, pagbigyan na. So, I gave half of my loan to my husband. Then, I don’t know how cursed I am or him? His contract ended. Though there is a new employer willing to take him in. He refused. He said, he wanted to be with our son.. Ayyyy… natouch ako dun, gurl. So, I let him go back to Philippines, with investment plans, business plans and all even having a baby. Dami naming drawing, ay. Hanggang drawing Lang pala. Even, going home and taking care of our son, drawing din ay. Umasa ang Bata sa wala.. I did not oblige him to give monetary assistance to our son since July 2020 for the fact that, I wanted him to save the money he received from his severance pay in order to add up to our planned investments (planned talaga Yun, planado.. Planado nyang isugal at waldasin. ) Moreover, with cash assistance from me until he left to Philippines. Sugar mommy Lang.. Kagwapo ba? Hindi,

pangit po talaga asawa ko. Nabudol Lang talaga ako. When he arrived in taguig, first 2 months he is okay. That even when, he even asked for 100k, nag pauto uli ang gaga, PAK! MONEY TRANSFER, automatic ako bhie.. He said everything is going according to plan. (according to plan pala Para magwaldas) until, the mid of December 2020, he started having mood shifts, parang lalaking nireregla, inaaway ako tapos aamu-in kasi gusto ng cybersex. I tried to be more understanding, ang bait ko Kaya, because maybe because of LDR situation and the stress of pandemic. In spite of the mood swings, the indirect accusations and his possessive behaviors shows. From 2011 to 2020, of course, medyo kilala mo naman asawa mo e no.. From the eve of my birthday December 23, to the day of my birthday December 24, Pati pasko hang gang New Year. He was so fucking possessive that all I could do was to have a video call on him almost 24hours a day. If he wants cybersex, I have to give in, I have to show my body and play with it. Pokpok na pakiramdam ko.. Medyo first class naman siguro. Because if not, he will accuse me of having an affair. Speaking, he even says I have a man beside me and he hears the voices of the man. And me like, WHAAAAT??? My momo ba sa kwarto ko? And take note, he records our video calls. Then early January 2021, I was surprised by a post of a stranger to my FB account on my son’s picture, accusing my husband, a theft, a con man, stating ‘that your husband namely BLAH BLAH Blah owes me a 100k and promised to pay me back but he did not, you’re a family of thieves and so on. ‘ Nawindang ako, bhie. Agad Agad, delete post, teng ene.. Sa picture pa ng gwapo Kong anak. I confronted my husband, sya pa galit bhie and gradually, he admitted that he owes money to some people, and he cashed out all the money to his friends, and alcohols and gambling. BABAE? Meron ba?? Malay ko.. So, Nothing left. That’s when I thought, Kaya pala Kung ano ano akusasyon kasi sya mismo may kalokohang ginagawa. DEFENSE MECHANISM USED – PROJECTION Again, supportive wife here (tanga Lang, day, wishing ba) I said, it’s okay, it’s only money and so on. And I gave almost 40k just to have an end and have him start again to apply for jobs. I gave him links and ads and places to apply back abroad. Pero, ASA PA MORE. Waley.. Despite of what happened, the endless fight, accusations pa more, and demanding for money did not end. The messages of people I don’t know kept coming-in in my messenger. And my vacation day is here! I was very excited to be with him and make a baby. But fuck him, kahit sa eroplano iharap ko daw cp ko sa bawat taong katabi ko, gago sya. Para akong tangang inikot ang cp. And he was not satisfied at all, tagalan ko daw iharap ang cam.. E di wow, wag na.. Awayin nalang nya ako kesa ireklamo ako ng passengers. And hello Philippines during pandemic, quarantined in a high standard hotel. And of course, my great husband wants to barge-in in my hotel, because sabi nya I have a a lalake in my room.. May nakikita daw at naririnig, and me be like, Saan banda sa kwarto yang nakikita MO? Like, I really wants to see and hear it as well. Kaya, e di wow uli.. Ang lakas ko naman sa OWWA at coast guard Para bumali ng quarantine protocol.. I really tried.. I tried… and I tried… and I tried to fix our marriage… message after message of people I never knew and people I knew hoping I would be the one to pay the debts of my VERY GOOD HUSBAND, still surprises me. To the point that, Even looking at my messenger or FB gave me a phobia. I am so helpless.. Like, sheeeet… anong nangyare gurl? Saan ako kakapit. And my husband even wants to take charge of my son’s bank.. But no way..! LIKE TAMA NA, ULOL.! LALABAN ANG INA! BUT I REALLY Tried… nag effort ako… nagpakatanga ako.. Who wants a broken family for their child, right? Wala di ba? I tried to hide the flaws of our marriage from our son. I cried secretly, I hid the phone away when his father starts to shout at me. But you see, my son is smarter than me. He saw my tears, my

sadness. He caught his father shouting at me at times via videocall. Huli sa akto ni bulilit. Pero di ko Alam. My vacation ended with a failure to have a complete family bonding but accomplished mother and son bonding. I tried to fulfill my son’s needs with my existence alone. And hello me ngayon… nganga… Still lost… basag na basag… I tried to fix myself up… I have to, for my son’s future, I may not be accomplished with my marriage life, but thankfully God blessed my career as a Frontliner. My son’s has no one now but me. My husband still asks for money. I changed my FB name to Korean characters. I unfriended my husband to avoid those people he owes some money and people sending me, KAWAWA AKO KASI NILOKO AKO. Tama na uy. Masakit. Sobrang sakit.. Tao po ako… animal ang ugali pero Hindi bato.. But I am hiding all my tears and wounds from the people surrounding me even though they knew, ginago ako ng asawa ko. They did not bother to ask, they respect my silence and I thanked them for that. But in reality, I don’t know what to do. I felt stuck in a quicksand, slowly drowning in sorrows, sadness and frustrations. I was left behind, drowning. Tortured with this unexplained pain and agony. I am conned by my husband. I spent money on a house which will never be mine. I spent money which will never come back to me.. I was left, zero…. And I don’t know what to do… How can I help myself… When I don’t even know if our law can protect me and my child.. It is me and my child… Against a MAN who is supposed to be our protection but rather, the Man who thinks nothing but himself, he himself is a danger to me and my son. His delusions and hallucinations still continues. Baka may third eye asawa ko???? I don’t know. His unending hurtful messages kept pouring in. Even a recorded sound of the bed na yumuyogyog, he will send it to me. His unending demands of money. Like wow, bat di sya magtrabaho…. Sugar mommy ako??? Ako??? Gandang sugar mommy mo naman, bhie… I just wished…. I just hoped… The government will someday established a law for the wives who has been conned financially by their own husbands. May VAWC, PAO, PCW, et cetera but how come it is near yet so far…. I just don’t know the proper law to fight against him… I can’t annul him, it’s too expensive.. Hanggang sa patayin nya nalang siguro ako.. Legal separation? OMG, how about the house.. In short, sya nag enjoy sa bahay na dugo at pawis Kong pinundar. Our son? How can I demand monetary assistance when he is jobless… I asked legally, and nothing happened.. It only benefits him, not me and my son… Kaya wow.. Hanggang sa mamatay o mapatay nya ako ay.. Our Family Court aspires to fix marriages as much as possible, and it is good.. But does it means, wag maghiwalay, magpaabuso ka Hanggang sa mamatay. (sighed) So, here I am… What I am now? You can say, I am a wife, sexually and physically used by my husband according to his own time of desires and needs. I am a wife, who is financially and emotionally, mentally abused by my husband. I am a wife PROFESSIONALLY CONNED BY MY HUSBAND BEFORE HE CONNED OTHER PEOPLE.. I am his long term conned victim.

#VAWC #violence against women #stop the pain #women power #you are good enough #you are beautiful #women rights #you are loved #loveyourself #tumblog #tumblr

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benefits1986 · 10 months

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1 AM Brother Dear Sesh

In true love, you choose not to count the demerits and detentions; even when you can easily afford to do so.

My baby brother called me at an odd hour while I'm hyper-focusing on time-bound tasks in time for YE 2023. Since my social calendar is quite loaded until January Week 1 or 2, I timed myself to down this baby dragon EOD, Friday.

Since my phone is usually on sleep mode when I'm doing important and urgent stuff, I almost missed his call. He asked me how I was and where I was, too. Told him I'm home. He paused and took a really deep breath. I asked if he's having anxiety or panic attack. He told me that he's okay, but the sister of his MIL expired. I can't believe what I heard because I'm still grieving the loss of soul sis' MIL that coincided with this year's Immaculate Conception. Since mother dragon is Marian, too, I'm dumbfounded, honestly. No triggers but there's a hollow pain that hits hard. I tried finding peace by reminding myself that death is friend everyone should welcome.

Baby bro asked if I heard his news. I said yes. I asked about the details but just the top line ones. I asked what help he needed. He said that it's fine and that he's got it. His voice was shaky but determined. I asked again. His reply didn't budge. He asked if I can come visit once the arrangements are in order. I kidded him that I'd most likely be up all night to down work stuff. LOL. He assured me that it's okay. I told him that I'd be there, of course.

Dad went back to Manila house and called me up to remind me that we're going to the wake. I almost forgot that we'd have to go and support my brother during this trying times. Dad egged me saying that it's fine if I don't go because work is life. LOL. Ano ba naman ang pag-drive niya on a Friday back to Manila to pick up the passenger princess me, 'di ba? Maliit na bagay. LOL. I told him that I'd come and that honestly, I didn't notice the time passed today.

When he arrived, he asked if I could cook fried rice for him to go with his legit Laguna pasalubong, fried white tilapia. I actually don't want to get up and do this bit, but, I've seen dad in a wonky emotional state that's so surprising because he's always chill and go with the flow. I even added more rice so that he can indulge a bit more than my usual portions for him due to his weakening knee and his overgrown paunch. As he downed the fried rice, he said that it kind of reminds him of North Park fried rice. I laughed out loud and told him that I don't have a wok so the flavors are not as popping as the North Park OG version. Of course, he bashed me again. He asked me to join him for dinner but I already got my go-to pampagana sa deadline -- Serenitea trio + 1L pearl milktea (kakataho ko lang kasi the past days), 50% sugar, less ice. I watched him finish his food and off we went to the wake.

I saw my brother stepping up even when he's wobbly inside out. He has sleeping problems on top of looking after his almost newborn son. However, over vape, he shared that he was promoted. And I told him that my specific prayer for his interview with another company is simple: May he get the job he deserves especially at this time. Raising two kids ain't a joke. I even added na sana, macover na gatas atbp nung bunso niya para 'di na ako maabala. LOL. Poof. He was rejected by company B and bagged an overdue promotion. No merit increase yet, but, I'm trying to train him to negotiate with empathy at the core. He's proud of this milestone and I can sense and see how much validation he felt after the rejection in his latest job interview.

I told him to wiggle a decent pay bump and I am willing to sit with the panel or the HR to lobby this. LOL. Of course, he said no way. I pushed a bit more and said that it's about time he levels up his game not only RPG-speaking, but IRL, too. He also shared details of his personal life updates. I listened and ask some questions. I guess, this is me choosing to be kind rather than to be right; even when it's so easy to bash him straight up. I tried being a bit gentler even when I want to whack him right on the face, too. This ain't easy because I am my brother's wicked keeper since 1989. He asked me if I was in my element and why the hell am I not raising an eyebrow. I told him that it was just a long day and a hard night. He seems weirded out, too.

He also shared details of his fatherhood era. I can't still fathom how I'd be able to swing a formula milk that's hypoallergenic. LOL. I asked him if my pamangkin would like a Samba or formula milk. He said that he's going for the milk. I chuckled and asked if he was super sure. He said yes. He also shared that he has already computed th cost of raising two kids until college. Natawa ako e. But, let this be a reminder that while my brother is flawed and we're opposites, he is trying his best to step up.

Perhaps, I am seeing glimmers of intention. Perhaps, I'm finally sensing a stronger sense of giving more and taking less. Perhaps, it's him living his dream (to have kids and get married) along with battling its harsh realities and shadows. Perhaps, mother dragon's fervent prayer for him is finally being answered. Perhaps, this is me seeing his light, in a more forgiving angle. Maybe, a little flattering, too.

While I am full on tough love to my only brother, now, may I choose to be his partner instead of his pulis pangkalawakan. As I am keying this in, I am taking deeper breaths. This is not gonna be easy, but, seeing him emerge with growth sprouts is a milestone. Nadali tayo ng correct answer na hindi Samba for the holidaze ni bunso niya.

I'll be back to my work drawing board in a bit. Excited to finish it off, honestly; but time is always a construct and a constraint. Being the go-to elder sister of the universe and saying no more and more is something I'm learning on training wheels. I know this is gonna be tough but I'm ready for the pivot. LUH. Tapang 'yan? LELS. Or baka excited lang ako sa catch up sesh na sobrang tagal planned and 'di na talaga puwede put on hold this Saturday!

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mostfacinorous · 4 years

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GO Whumptober Day 17: I Did Not See That Coming [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15][16]

They settled back in fairly easily; went back to their habits and rituals, and it was almost too easy. They kept jumping at shadows, though, flinching when the door to the shop opened or someone stared in their direction for too long.

It was unnerving, and felt like waiting for the other shoe to drop.

When it came, it wasn’t from above or below, but right there on Earth, and neither of them saw it coming.

“Excuse me?”

She was an unassuming slip of a girl, a local uni student whose glasses, while stylish enough black square plastic things, made her stand out as one of the few not wearing contacts on a rainy day in the city. Her hair was back in a bun and she looked only mildly bedraggled, probably thanks to the umbrella, discarded in the bucket at the door for just such a use.

“Yes? How can I help you?” Aziraphale asked, trying to sound friendly in case she needed a kind word and a ready ear, but not too kind, in case she needed a book.

“Hello, um, my name is Sarah, and I was told that if I was in search of something occult, I ought to come here?”

Aziraphale cocked his head and blinked at her, not quite getting the warning bells he knew he probably ought to. It was just, she was so polite and small, she hardly seemed a threat.

“Well, I do have some occult books I suppose-- though, are you certain you aren’t looking for the cauldron and candlestick on the next street over? I’m sure they have a much wider selection.”

She looked at him with wide eyes and mutely shook her head no.

“I um, I’m not here for a book.” She informed him, fidgeting a little with the sleeve of her jumper.

“Oh, well, I’m not sure--” Aziraphale began.

“Mathias sent me. He said that you might be able to point me in the direction of a demon or two. Angel.”

She looked up at him, firming her resolve and squaring her shoulders.

Aziraphale was sorely tempted to laugh.

“Oh, pish, what would you want with a demon? I asked Mathias the same thing-- why deal with devils when you know very well what I am?”

“Well sir, you see…” She took a deep breath. “I’m part demon myself as it turns out. I hope you won’t smite me for it.”

“Ah.” Aziraphale said, as if this sort of thing happened all the time. “You don’t happen to know which demon…?”

“An acquaintance of yours, I’m told. Apparently he goes by the human name Anthony J. Crowley.” She frowned. “I looked him up and found his flat, but he didn’t answer the door.”

“Oh no, he wouldn’t-- it’s been a rather hard month on him, poor thing.” Aziraphale answered vaguely, allowing his mouth to run on auto-pilot while he mulled over the implications.

Crowley had, at some point, slept with a human and gotten them-- with child. Unless Crowley, in one of her female guises, had carried a half demon babe to term. Aziraphale couldn’t imagine it was the latter-- surely Crowley would have told him, or come to him, surely it wasn’t something he would have hidden…

“Do you know where I might find him, please?” She asked, and Aziraphale snapped back to himself.

“Oh dear, yes. Here, why don’t you take a seat, I’ll fix you up a cup of tea, and give him a ring. I expect he was planning to come around shortly anyway.”

He got Sarah set up in the back room with a blanket across her lap and a mug in hand, then dialed Crowley’s flat. He got the ansaphone instead, which he supposed to mean Crowley was already on his way, so he left well enough alone.

After all, if Aziraphle didn’t get any warning on this matter, he didn’t see why Crowley should have one. Petty, perhaps, and unangelic besides, but if anyone asked, he wanted it to be a surprise. It wasn’t far enough from the truth for it to count as a lie, he reasoned.

And so, when Crowley came through the front door to the merry jingling of the bell, Azirapahale’s smile was genuine.

“There’s a surprise waiting for you in the back room!” He all but trilled, and Crowley did look surprised. Perhaps, too surprised?

It took Aziraphale a little aback-- he’d arranged surprises and gifts for Crowley before, surely? Certainly Crowley went out of his way to do so for him.

And suddenly, Aziraphale felt a bit bad. But it was already too late. Crowley had made his way in, his words, “What’s this then, ange--” Trailing off at the sight of the girl.

Aziraphale came up behind him.

“This is Sarah. I believe she is a relation of yours.”

Sarah stood, small fists clenched at her sides and nearly trembling with nervous energy.

“What? No! You took my mother’s soul.” She said, clearly using every bit of resolve she possessed. “I want it back.”

“What?” Crowley asked, looking back and forth between the girl and the angel. “Is this some sort of-- of intervention or something? I don’t have your mother’s soul, I’m very sorry, but I think you’re confused.”

“I’m not. My mom’s name is Tawny Wilson, and she made a deal with you-- her soul for the ability to have a baby. I’m the baby. I want you to take the demonic whatever you left me with, and give me her soul in return.”

Crowley turned to look at Aziraphale, and the expression on his face was damn near heart rending.

“You can’t honestly believe this, Aziraphale?” Crowley asked, nearly pleading.

“No, of course not. I can’t sense a single lick of demonic energy in you, dear girl.” Aziraphale assured her, and she startled, as if the thought hadn’t occurred to her.

“Wait, I’m not part demon?” She looked annoyed and confused in turns, and Aziraphale couldn’t blame her.

Crowley snapped, and Aziraphale flinched.

“Oh, Tawny! The singer, Tawny with the teeth!” Crowley nodded, seemingly excited to remember. He paused. “She’s got her whole soul, last I knew. Only, I might have said otherwise at the time.”

“Wait, you told the woman you were taking her soul?” Aziraphale asked, more amused by all of this than anything.

“Well, yeah, had to come off properly demonic, didn’t I? She found out what I am, tried to blackmail me into helping fix some, y’know,” Crowley gestured in the vague direction of his midsection, “Troubles, that sort of thing, and me, I was happy to, but--” He glanced in Sarah’s direction.

“I was gonna get in trouble if my lot found out I went around doing favors. Couldn’t risk word getting out. So I told her I took her soul and her child might be cursed a little is all.”

“Oh, Crowley.” Aziraphale sighed.

“I can promise you aren’t cursed, either.” He told Sarah, pleased that this was all working out just fine.

Only, Sarah clearly didn’t think so. Her face crumpled, and she began to cry.

Aziraphale pushed past Crowley to wrap his arms around the poor dear. “Here now, I would think all of this was good news. So what’s the matter?”

“Mum’s sick.” She said through her tears. “And she thought it was because she’s got no soul, ‘n I’m cursed, so I thought I could fix it.”

Aziraphale looked over her head at Crowley, who looked stricken.

“I’m sorry.” Crowley said gently. “It must just be a regular, human sort of sickness. What about doctors? Can they help?”

“They dunno what’s wrong. One of ‘em referred us to Mathias, says he consults on things when there’s a curse in the family.”

“And what did Mathias say you should do? What was the plan-- is he coming here?” Crowley asked, becoming more concerned sounding as the questions progressed.

“You know,” Aziraphale mused, “I’m beginning to think this Mathias character has it out for us.”

“He said I should either make a trade or blackmail you.” She answered, then bit her lip. “Would you take my soul, then, if it’s not cursed?”

“That isn’t-- that’s not how this works, really.” Crowley said, clearly trying to be gently, though he seemed annoyed. “Cor, but you are your mother’s daughter, aren’t you?”

“Blackmail, then…” She muttered softly. “Fine, you didn’t want your bosses to know what you did, right? I’ll find them, then, and, and tell them. That you’ve been going around blessing humans and healing them and what not.”

Aziraphale huffed.

“That’s a good deal more dangerous for you than it is from him, but I think we can figure something out. Here, why don’t we see your mum? I am an angel, after all, and you aren’t a demon or cursed, and she has her soul, so… perhaps I can help?”

Finally, finally, Sarah looked hopeful and relieved.

“Would you?” She asked.

“No blackmail necessary.” Aziraphale assured her. “Crowley? Feel up to visiting an old friend?”

Crowley nodded, and stepped aside to let Sarah lead the way.

“Should we bring anything you think?” He asked, some of the anxiety that he usually kept tucked away behind his cool exterior leaking out.

“Nah, knowing mom, she’ll have tea on before you’re even through the door.” Sarah gave them a watery smile, retrieved her umbrella, and led them out into the wet London evening.

They didn’t live too horribly far away; Sarah had apparently made the walk a few times that week, in her search for Crowley.

She let them in and shucked her outer things, calling up the stairs for her mother, before disappearing to fetch her.

“Quite the surprise, Angel.” Crowley grumbled, shifting from foot to foot, and Aziraphale frowned.

“I thought she was some… lost daughter of yours, or something! A family reunion.” He gestured grandly. “I’m sorry; I thought this was cause for joy.”

“Oh, it is.” A voice told them seriously, as Mathias stepped out of the kitchen, cross bow trained on them.

“Bet you didn’t see that coming.”

“Oh, damn it all!” Crowley hissed, and with a quick gesture, he shut down all the power in the flat.

#GO Whumptober2020 #Aziraphale #Crowley #Good Omens Fanfic #Whumptober #That writing thing I do

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ficclique · 5 years

Text

In addition to our own personal top fics (which you can view here), we asked you all to send us your choices for your fics of the decade and why you loved them. We received so many wonderful submissions, and now want to share them with everybody! In an effort to not make this post too long we’ve edited down the comments that people left us, but everyone had some really lovely things to say, so if anything catches your eye here we really encourage you to take a look at the complete list of comments here.

Without further ado, please enjoy the top fics of the decade as chosen by you, our listeners:

Submitted by: Cricket

Fic 1: pilgrimage by wolfsupremacist

Info: EXO RPF, Baekhyun/Sehun

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18411497/chapters/43607615

Cricket’s comment: I can't get over all the building in this fic -- the world building, the character building, the relationship building. The main character’s development was like watching a child grow: it's hard to see it happening, but once you reflect on who he became versus who he was, it's so obvious how he changed.

Fic 2: the eye of providence by minhyukwithagun

Info: NCT RPF, Jaehyun/Taeyong

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14981330

Cricket’s comment: I have genuinely never laughed so hard while reading a fic.There were so many little details that the author added that were unnecessary to the overall plot but just made the characters so much more real. You get to learn so much about everyone in such a (relatively) short amount of time.

Fic 3: so collect your scars and wear them well by addandsubtract

Info: Hockey RPF, Connor McDavid/Dylan Strome

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5075128

Cricket’s comment: I feel like this fic changed me as a writer. It touches on such a relatable subject: that feeling of being completely unsure of what you should do with your life when Plan A doesn't work out, and discovering who you are without the thing that you previously thought defined you.

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Submitted by: Claire

Fic 1: The Baffled King and The Idiot Hero by Ellarose C

Info: Hetalia, ?

Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5819880/1/

Claire’s comment: This fic launched 3 of my high school friendships that continue to this day. It's cute and Hallmark levels of unrealistic, and I LOVE it. The overwhelming nostalgia and gratefulness I feel towards this fic (and all of Carrie's work, honestly) still blows me away.

Fic 2: Embers by Vathara

Info: Avatar: The Last Airbender, gen

Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5398503/1/

Claire’s comment: The best, wildest, most comprehensively worldbuilt ATLA fic I have ever read. Tea, dragons, realistic motivations, that ending... perfect. *chef kiss*

Fic 3: Of A Linear Circle (series) by flamethrower

Info: HP, various

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/755028

Claire’s comment: I linked the whole series because I simply cannot pick a favorite installment. OaLC focuses on fixing the glaring plot holes in the Wizarding education system, accurately depicting the Founders' Era thanks to copious research, and showing that no one is truly irredeemable (except Voldemort himself, who more than earns it).

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Submitted by: Threepwillow

Fic 1: All the Other Ghosts by rainjoys

Info: Glee, Kurt/Blaine

Link: https://rainjoyswriting.livejournal.com/146587.html

Threepwillow’s comment: All The Other Ghosts and its direct sequel, Grey, are some of the most incredibly original and simultaneously incredibly transformative works of fanfiction I have ever read. The way they masterfully twist elements of canon to fit into the lore of their AU is second only to the profound, revelatory character studies that they've executed. This shit is extraordinary.

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Submitted by: Segs

Fic 1: Hemostuck (series) by roachpatrol and urbanAnchorite

Info: Homestuck, various

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/8470

Seg’s comment: THE WORLDBUILDING. THE ARTWORK. THE NARRATIVE VOICE(S). THE INCREDIBLE GRASP ON CHARACTERIZATION. DID I MENTION THE WORLDBUILDING.

Fic 2: transistor by fishcola

Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760093/chapters/44503969

Seg’s comment: Rips my heart to shreds piece-by-piece and then gently puts it back together in the end. It's another put-these-characters-in-a-darker-setting sort of thing. It is brilliant and beautiful and I love it dearly.

Fic 3: any sign of spring by bluecarrot

Info: Hamilton, Hamilton/Burr

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7523227/chapters/17100376

Seg’s comment: This fic is so dang atmospheric. It feels very physical -- the temperature, the environment, the drawing. It's bittersweet, but ends on the sweet, and I think the sweetness is all the more emphasized for it. Rereading it feels like coming back to a familiar place.

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Submitted by: Ang

Fic 1: Anarchy In The U.K. by Yahtzee

Info: X-Men First Class, Erik/Charles

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673552/chapters/1232410

Ang’s comment: the writing of this one made it so easy to get completely lost in the au while still knowing the characters so well from the source material! super engaging, totally consumed my life for a week

Fic 2: blackjacks running down by back by dangerbears

Info: 1D, Harry/Louis

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499474

Ang’s comment: this is like my comfort blanket fic! every time i reread it (even though i'm not in that fandom anymore), it's still just as funny and cute as it was the very first time i read it - again the au is so easily believable because the characterizations are so familiar.

Fic 3: this city bleeds its aching heart by renne

Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829

Ang’s comment: unsurprisingly, it's another au that is so easy to fall into! this is another one that i've been consistently rereading since i first read it (in 2015, for this one) because it's my absolute favorite trope with a ship that i'm still very much into!

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Submitted by: Scout

Fic 1: she called it a void by vans88

Info: Star Wars, Finn/Poe/Rey

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5493500

Scout’s comment: Short and powerful and essential to anyone's viewing of the new Star Wars trilogy. Seriously one of the most careful, tender, and graceful queer addendums to a piece of pop culture this decade.

Fic 2: The Love Song of The North American Douchebag by gyzym

Info: Star Trek RPF, Chris/Zach

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/852395

Scout’s comment: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I HOPE I CAN SWEAR. I'm not even in this fandom. The world building is just THAT good. It's one of my highlights *because* of its power to draw me in as a standalone. So much fucking talent in the transformative work community. The banter, characterization, sardonic-ness of this – international impact baby!

Fic 3: all this learning here is by you by decinq, nighimpossible

Info: Hockey RPF, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5105441

Scout’s comment: Revolutionized – and I would argue – drove the GROWTH AND SURVIVAL of hockey fandom. One of the best known works in the fandom, and a masterclass in how to build a set of characters that you're genuinely envious you don't get to see or know. Two incredible authors and a plethora of personality. Fun and sexy and lighthearted but poignant. Chef kiss.

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Submitted by: Em

Fic 1: the subtle science and exact art of chess-boxing, by fishcola

Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18931885/chapters/44945971

Em’s comment: fishcola is definitely one of the top reasons i actually started reading/writing polygon rpf. this fic!!!!! i sWEAR its so /so/ good oh my GOSH. yes, full disclosure im fish's beta for chessboxing but also i am enthusiastic simply because it is a very beautiful and powerful narrative on trauma, healing, and how the people we choose to interact with affect our emotions.

Fic 2: the old men call me by my mother’s name by theviolonist

Info: HP, Hermione/Ron

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1044467

Em’s comment: as a certified Trans(TM) im always pursuing and consuming trans content. the old men call me by my mother's name is an hp fic that i still cherish years after first reading it. trans!ron is a concept not often explored in hp fic, much less trans /girl/ ron. massive gender feels, folks.

Fic 3: national hot dad alliance is now calling… by dicaeopolis, owlinaminor

Info: Haikyuu! , various

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663683/chapters/13045579

Em’s comment: national hot dad alliance really is the perfect evolution of a groupchat fic. i laughed, i cried, i fell in love with the characters all over again as these captains from different teams bond over graduating. and also being Dads(TM). in some cases-- pining over their fellow volleyball players-- plus star wars, the x-files, and memes. overall its is very good and i will stan it eternally

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Submitted by: Staci

Fic 1: No Homo, by orphan account

Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148039/chapters/2326073

Staci’s comment: Literally my favorite AU ever written. The characterization is SO on point and it truly is a super fun read. It’s also a super long which helps with painting such a detailed picture of these two dummies who are-totally-just-bros-with-added-benefits. I’d recommend this to anyone, even if they’re unaware of Teen Wolf, but if you’re a Teen Wolf fan then it’s even better.

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Submitted by: Nadine

Fic 1: Too Long, Too Close (series) by callmejude

Info: MCU RPF, Chris/Sebastian

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/253528

Nadine’s comment: kink exploration and bdsm done well.... and so thoroughly. but there's more! theres FEELINGSSSSSS uhhhhhhh it made me CRY it's so good.

Fic 2: On a Clear Day by Saras_Girl

Info: HP, Harry/Draco

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/879841

Nadine’s comment: I could've put a few other fics by this author because they write the best drarry but uhhhhh. I had to choose and it was either gonna be TURN or this one. Idk why but this one makes me so unbelievably emotional bc it was Harry who's Going Through Stuff and I just loved it a lot.

Fic 3: around the world in eighty thousand days, by fallfreely

Info: 1D, Liam/Harry

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856935

Nadine’s comment: It was hard to pick a 1D fave but I think that this fic always had a v special place in my heart & I can't even explain why. I love the dynamic of this pairing (even though it's not even my OTP, wtf. I'm a Gryles and Narry truther... *eye emoji*) and the whole FEEL of this fic and it's slow burn tour fic, soo.

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Submitted by: Frecklebomb

Fic 1: Shalbatana

Info: Mars Trilogy, Gen

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6629

Frecklebomb’s comment: A beautifully-written gen fic (with an incredibly gorgeous podfic by Luzula) in the near-future-scifi Mars Trilogy fandom but very easy to enjoy without canon knowledge. I revisit this story over and over and always marvel at the presence of the landscape and alien planet in it, the way it feels like a character. Bonus Mars rover feelings (I cry every time about the robot).

Fic 2: Through a Glass Darkly, by susiecarter

Info: DCU, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19395793/chapters/46155535

Frecklebomb’s comment: Sprawling post-apocalyptic epic, so rich and cinematic that it feels like a movie I somehow read. The worldbuilding and tension of the focal ship are what sucked me into this fic, but what stayed with me was the richness of the ensemble characters. I find myself just thinking about their character arcs, and imagining what they'd be doing post-story. I want fic of this fic.

Fic 3: Too Far Down The Road, by SoniaVice

Info: Hockey, OMC/OMC

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13208136/chapters/30212907

Frecklebomb’s comment: An amnesia trope origfic set in handwavey hockey fandom (author said they 'set it free' to be OMC/OMC when the dynamic needed to be different from the RPF ship it started out as). It gives me so many good feelings about family (of choice and otherwise) and ageing and self-acceptance and sexuality, and the way you can choose to be changed by the people you spend your life with.

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Submitted by: Em (Springsteen)

Fic 1: Pull Me Under, by zarah5

Info: 1D, Harry/Louis

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870766

Em’s comment: first of all zarah5 is a fandom legend. second, this is like the pinnacle of fake relationship fics to me it's 140k and so much of it is pining and like truly, who among us doesn't love harry styles with their whole heart. I can't think about the '10s without thinking about one direction and when this fic came out I remember a lot of people fully losing their minds.

Fic 2: Door to Door, by Ferritin4

Info: Hockey RPF, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3478298

Em’s comment: this is one of the first hockey fics I ever read and I still come back to it so often. The relationship builds so well, Tyler's dogs are in it, it's just so sweet, and plus it's a very readable 10k.

Fic 3: Darling It Is No Joke, by thehoyden

Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/399194

Em’s comment: look I can't be retrospective about this decade and /not/ include a sterek fic. the first half of this decade for me was all 1d and teen wolf and full disclosure, it's been a while since I've reread this fic, but I remember the banter being really stellar and thehoyden is another one of those authors who I just. Adore.

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Submitted by: Dan

Fic 1: The Heart Rate of a Mouse (series) by Anna (arctic_grey)

Info: Bandom, Ryan Ross/Brendan Urie

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/712953

Dan’s comment: This fic is incredibly iconic. It’s definitely one of my favorites of all time—the way the story is told is just heart wrenching, and it manages to always keep you on edge about what’s going to happen. The portrayal of self discovery, love, jealousy, down to the settings and all the social issues of the time period (the 70s), is amazingly done.

Fic 2: The Cat’s Miaow by Pennyplainknits

Info: Bandom, Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930529

Dan’s comment: This fic is unlike anything else I’ve read. First off, I LOVE historical AUs, and the noir setting is everything I could have wanted and more. The author has managed to create such a delicate and profound romance along with an interesting plot that borders on thriller without ever going too far with either side of the story.

Fic 3: Get Real Get Right (Fuckin Right) by sophiahelix

Info: Riveyonce Cuoknowles, Sufjan Stevens/Drake

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9029020

Dan’s comment: Honestly? This is just art.

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Submitted by: Carina

Fic 1: Bite Marks by provocative_envy

Info: HP, Hermione/Draco

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580953/chapters/7894464

Carina’s comment: i've shied away from aus in harry potter fic for years, especially american college aus but this fic in my opinion kept the best of the characters and modernized them in a way that felt true to who they are.

Fic 2: old jokes from a wild youth, by knightspur

Info: SEVENTEEN RPF, Mingyu/Minghao

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18127073

Carina’s comment: mingyu and minghao are in love, but they're not soulmates. i love the dynamics and the quiet intimacy between them, and also how they work through wanting to be together despite them not having a bond in the way soulmates have.

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Submitted by: Katy

Fic 1: The River and The Deep Green Bend by liquidmeasure

Info: 1D, Harry/Niall

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6005275

Katy’s comment: this fic honestly surpasses the genre of fic. it is a genre all its own. it is the pinnacle in catharsis and heartbreak and having a satisfying end that is completely unsatisfying as well. I will never recover from this fic.

Fic 2: Out of the Dead Land by Orphan Account

Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1871955

Katy’s comment: there is a specific phrase in this fic that has and will continue to stay with me. I will never hear the phrase "up or down" without feeling immense heartbreak. an amazing blend of source material to create something altogether its own - but could still take place in either canon

Fic 3: Up We Go by Oh_Hey_Tae

Info: BTS, Taehyung/Jimin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12297168

Katy’s comment: this fic is one that I found more recently, but I can already tell that it is one that is going to stick with me for a long long time. it is another fic that I feel transcends the genre of fic entirely

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Submitted by: Corie

Fic 1: Build A Temple In Me by Authoress

Info: Haikyuu!, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3716002

Corie’s comment: A wonderful and moving fanfic with fantasy akin to studio ghibli. If I have to recommend Haikyuu fanfiction this is it.

Fic 2: Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl

Info: Haikyuu!, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3898771/chapters/8721568

Corie’s comment: Another haikyuu!! Fic! I remember reccing this to my friend and she said it was more akin to a novel then any fanfiction she has read. High praise IMO

Fic 3: Fake Sugar by minverse

Info: BTS, Jungkook/Seokjin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14707098/chapters/33987549

Corie’s comment: Oh sweet god I love minverse’s writing and this fic has it all. Romance, smut, and a nice dollop of humor.

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Submitted by: Abby

Fic 1: an awful curse by blinkiesays

Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/604092

Abby’s comment: Non-linear timeline, au within the story, "every me loves every you," domesticity but also heavy angst, and it's so beautifully written it makes me want to cry reading it. also it harkens back to the time of when the show was still good.

Fic 2: dance this silence down (the emergency room remix) by Fahye

Info: Les Miserables, Enjorlas/Grantaire

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994140/chapters/1966093

Abby’s comment: It's such a great, understandable ensemble fic for a dense canon, with such a great modern day au setting, but the whole time it really deals with the main character's depression and alcoholism and the complete overwhelming love that he has for the guy he's shipped with. it's so gritty and real but the ending brings so much hope I love it.

Fic 3: comment fic by anon

Info: iCarly, Sam/Spencer

Link: https://author-abz.livejournal.com/35003.html

Abby’s comment: this is an ANONYMOUS comment fic someone wrote me when I was feeling down on LJ and it's so short but so complete, and it says everything it needs to about it being okay to mess up and just be messed up together. also: "glitter emergency" (technically a cheat, it's from 2008; I forgot it was so old)

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Submitted by: Kassie

Fic 1: An Exercise in ‘Worthless’ by beastofthesky

Info: Supernatural, Dean/Castiel

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535676

Kassie’s comment: an exercise in worthless introduced me (indirectly) to my favorite musician and (directly) to the subject i almost minored in during undergrad, so honestly i would put it as a fic of the decade even if it wasn’t one of the best fics i read in the supernatural fandom.

Fic 2: Superstition (series) by Superstition_hockey

Info: Hockey, OMC/OMC

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/413233

Kassie’s comment: superstition started out as a tropey, fun, lighthearted short fic, and grew into a big thing that deals with a lot of serious topics incredibly well while also being still very funny and emotional and having honestly some of my favorite fictional characters i’ve read in years

Fic 3: United States v. Barnes

Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2304905/chapters/5071058

Kassie’s comment: united states v barnes is the multimedia fic of my DREAMS. this is what i want to show people to explain why i love fanfic so much. it does so much with the medium its working in and the presentation of the fic, and fits that perfect fanfic niche of exploring the kind of background that will never appear in canon but that everyone wonders about.

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Submitted by: Kat

Fic 1: I’ve felt and I’ve Been by autotunedd

Info: Big Bang RPF, Seunghyun/Jiyong

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15349758/chapters/35616516

Kat’s comment: Possibly the fic that marked my entire decade. The characters are so human and real, the plot is heavy and winding and the twists sometimes seem life ending. It is heavy, it is painful, it is sad, it is angsty, it is maybe even a smidge too real and dangerous at times, but it makes a solid read, a long, relatable novel about real people with real fears and problems.

Fic 2: Eversion by thespectaclesofthor

Info: Detroit: Become Human, Hank Anderson/Connor

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15754140/chapters/36638253

Kat’s comment: Beautiful, long, detailed, well written, hard hitting, serious, sweet, painful, kinky, all in one! The characters have so much depth, their issues and inner workings seem so real and the plot is so carefully crafted and detailed, every chapter keeps you at the edge of your seat. All in all, beautifully crafted, passionate, hard hitting piece that I couldn't help falling in love with.

Fic 3: Eggshell Landscapes and the Burden of Love by NoContractTermination

Info: NCT RPF, Taeil/Johnny

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10446438

Kat’s comment: Short, sweet, angsty and charming! I loved the intimate look into their relationship this fic brings, the trials and tribulations and the struggle to communicate. It all seemed so raw and real and coupled with the author's beautiful writing, it all came together in a perfect read, with bounds of re-read potential.

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Submitted by: Wen

Fic 1: the bellwether by highoctane

Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18634426

Wen’s comment: Feelings!!! It's really refreshing to read a character who, as an established adult, is reconfiguring an understanding of himself without it being either a whole crisis or a sudden seamless lightbulb moment. It's very fair to both characters' emotions, letting them both react in a way that feels wonderfully human and real rather than idealistic.

Fic 2: Five Times the Potion Seller Refused to Sell a Potion (and One Time He Didn’t) by misura

Info: Potion Seller (Justin Kuritzkes Short Film), Knight/Potion Seller

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5441447

Wen’s comment: It's based on a 3 minute meme video and if it was just a tweet or post with the title alone it would be a great joke but... someone went and wrote the dang thing! And it could have been ridiculous crackfic, and while it certainly toes that line it's also got a really fun flow of dialogue that leaves a lot to the imagination without it getting confusing.

Fic 3: I Am The Horrible Goose That Lives In The Town by Daniel Lavery

Info: The Untitled Goose Game, gen

Link: https://www.shatnerchatner.com/p/i-am-the-horrible-goose-that-lives

Wen’s comment: the writing is tremendous and sits beautifully in that razor's edge space where english is used just strangely enough to create a fantastic character voice without going too far and falling into some kind of awkward english language uncanny valley. it's so hard to pick out the best line because every line is the best line. "Here I am coming, with the good news of me, and you hate it. You can think only of the bell and how much I have it, and you are never the goose."

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Submitted by: Mage

Fic 1: Fog, Sheets and Thunder by theopteryx

Info: My Chemical Romance RPF, Frank/Gerard

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351396

Mage’s comment: i have literally thought about this fic at least once a week since i read it in 2012. do not ask me why. i have no answers.

Fic 2: Flowers in Bones by fringecity (indiachick)

Info: BTS, Taehyung/Yoongi

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16256390

Mage’s comment: sometimes i just wanna be a careful selection of small animal bones that yoongi gently unearths and meticulously crafts into an altar of pressed flowers and ink

Fic 3: It Happened Quiet by hobimo

Info: BTS, Taehyung/Yoongi

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15070646/chapters/34939646

Mage’s comment: haunted woods :) cryptids :) that deeply unsettling feeling that there are greater, mysterious forces at work and there's nothing you can do about it :)

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Submitted by: BirdieLeonie

Fic 1: Reprise (series) by Elfpen

Info: Star Wars, various (Obi-Wan centric)

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/454408

BirdieLeonie’s comment: I spent about seven months of my life reading nothing but Star Wars time-travel fix-it fics. (I am not exaggerating; there are enough of them to last that long or longer.) This is my favorite.

Fic 2: Friday Night Arrives Without a Suitcase by marycontraire

Info: Hockey RPF, Danny Briere/Claude Giroux

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534247

BirdieLeonie’s comment: This is a fic I have kept coming back to again and again in the years since I first read it. It's domestic and sweet and still adult. It's like curtainfic, inverted; the leads live together and parent their kids and go grocery shopping before they have a romantic or sexual relationship.

Fic 3: The Hero’s Journey; or: What Jasper Sitwell Did Last Summer (podfic), by artzbots, blackglass, daroos, girlwithabubblegun, kalakirya, Opalsong, reena_jenkins, RsCreighton, sabinelagrande

Info: MCU & Welcome to Night Vale, Jemma Simmons/Jasper Sitwell

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6462223

BirdieLeonie’s comment: I love podfic, I love crossovers, and I love this fic. Again, I picked this because of all the thousands of MCU fics I've read, this is the one I find myself coming back to repeatedly. This crossover is creative, fun, and plays with one of my favorite tropes: what was happening to a minor character in the background of the story we saw?

#fic clique #fic recs #multifandom #minisode #top fics of the decade #fics of the decade

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october19 · 5 years

Text

January 5th of 2020

Hi Bu, I am writing to you now because there are still a lot of things that I want to tell you but I’m not sure how to say it without breaking down.

I want to say sorry for all the things that I have done and mostly for all the hurtful things I have said.

I know I haven’t been the best person lately and I have been trying to reflect and visit every conversation we had for the past 3 months to understand how we reached this point were we are already both worn-out; that even if one wants to keep trying, the other pulls away.

I never loved anyone as deeply as you and I’m sorry if I made you feel unwanted by needing time apart. I wanted to give this another try until our very last talk. December was a tough month for the both of us given that we could not understand each other kahit na gaano natin pinapaintindi yung isa’t isa.

I just want to let you know that it was never my intention to make you feel bad by choosing not to talk to you but I should have known better that this kind of approach would not work best for you. I had my own reasons why I was so frustrated that I ended up choosing not talk to you first and so I laid it down hoping that you’ll understand where I’m coming from:

1. Plans - I have always been wanting to hear what your plans were. To understand where you’re at and where you are coming from. As my life partner, gusto kong malaman kung ano yung mga pangarap mo na gusto mong tuparin para sa sarili mo at hindi yung sinasabi ng ibang tao na gusto nila para sayo at tingin nilang kailangan mo.

Whenever I bring this up, I tend to make you feel overwhelmed because there are a lot of things that need to be figured out and fixed. Nalulungkot ako kasi di ko gustong maparamadam sayo na di mo kaya.

Kung may matatandaan kang isang bagay, sana you’ll always remember na hindi ako nagantay o nagstay ng ganito katagal kung hindi ako naniniwala na kaya mo. I had hope, kahit gaano kabagal yung progress, kahit gaano kagulo at kahit gano kahirap, because I chose to believe in you.

I understand why you feel scared whenever you get confronted with your plans in life, but as your girlfriend I want to help you get there and be eventually closer to the part in life that we yearn for na masaya na tayo dahil hindi na tayo magkalayo.

I just want to let you know na walang rason para matakot ka kasi andito ako and susuportahan kita sa kung ano man yung gusto mo just as what I have been doing for the past 8 years. Gusto lang kitang maintindihan kaya ko gustong marinig yung plano mo and not to scare you away.

I want to know where you are right now dahil gusto kong bago natin gawin yung mga bagay para sa relasyon na ‘to, I want you to achieve the things you want to succeed first. To be happy, and feel more fulfilled by prioritizing yourself before we decide to settle down and plan together the life that’s ahead of us.

It breaks me because I have been wanting to know and hear you out for years and you told me you weren’t sure/ didn’t know if I deserve any of these plans. Na para saan pa na i-share mo sakin yon.

You promised that we will be talking last November 11 but it was always getting moved until it never happened. I felt so bad kasi ito yung isa sa mga bagay na pinakapinanghahawakan ko from the very beginning. -That no matter how hard this gets, I know with good plans followed by actions, there is a way para maitawid natin ‘to because we both are willing to take a step forward. That these goals that we’re making will serve as things that we can look forward to.

I know you tried to reach out to me but I refused to talk first because I really got hurt. It was only not until December that you decided to talk and it felt like it wasn’t a priority given that it was being pushed back even if you knew this talk served as assurance for me.

The talk for the plans is not just something that I want but what we both need.

2. We were losing respect for you other - As I was re-reading our messages, it wasn’t hard to see that how we communicated deeply affected how we treated each other. That the intent of the message lost its meaning given that it’s masked with anger and frustration.

I’m sorry for all the painful things I’ve said no matter how true some of it were. I should have chosen to be a better person by talking to you with kindness and more patience regardless of the situation or issue. We were already hurting each other by throwing out bad things in each other’s faces even if it was unnecessary and we both didn’t deserve any of it.

You broke up with me because you felt like I wasn’t giving you the right to express your emotions over something that made you feel uncomfortable before I left for Shanghai and I’m sorry if I made you feel that it was invalid and you were not heard by giving you my own reasons.

I got so hurt with you breaking up with me for the issue with Ron when you could have just chosen to calm down and talk to me in a manner where I could understand you more.

3. Work - I had a hard time adjusting at work given that a lot of projects were given to me in a 2-week lead time but that wasn’t my main reason why I didn’t talk to you. This may probably be the least reason of it all. I should have talked to you in a more gentle manner despite my frustrations para mas napaintindi ko yung sarili ko nang di ka naooffend. There were better words, phrases, sentences that should have been said. And I’m so sorry na nasaktan kita.

Kung ang napairating ko sayo na naunderestimate kita, na di mo kayang intindihin yung sitwasyon ko at suportahan ako, pero I was just struggling in managing my emotions at work. I was at the peak of my emotions, and I knew that one wrong word from you/ conversation with you would affect me so much.

Hindi sa inuunderestimate ko na kaya mo kong palakasin, na kaya mong tumulong, but it was mainly because I wasn’t in the right state of mind given that I too, I was in a lot of pressure. And with that, I wasn’t certain if I can show you my best self when we talk. Baka maaway kita, mainitan ng ulo kahit wala kang ginagawa, kasi wala ako sa tamang kundisyon. That’s why I decided to schedule our talk over our Agency break during the holidays. To give my full focus on you. Na hindi ako pre-occuppied.

Nagsisisi ako with what happened, because it made you think of things na hindi tutuo kasi akala mo ayaw ko na.

Two weeks of not talking was too much for you but it was the space I needed to reflect on all the concerns and issues that have piled up and are not being properly addressed. I needed time to let my emotions pass without dragging you down with my frustrations. I needed time to re-think on the direction of our relationship - what’s working and what’s not. What’s needed to be changed and what’s needed to be improved.

Pero hindi kita kinalimutan.

I still looked forward to our talk.

I had plans with me na gusto ko pa rin tuparin. Ang dami kong sinulat na di mo po nabasa at hindi ko alam kung mababasa mo pa. Pero sinabi mong late na ako. That you’ve already decided to end this when I got back to you. But I don’t want’t to focus on that.

Tanggap ko kung saan ako nagkamali. It seemed selfish that I was being aggressive on chasing you consistently for the past few days, nagmamakaawa to give this another shot.

I’m sorry kung hindi ko namanage ng mabuti yung emotions ko by saying some things out of frustration and by not re-assessing them with the right approach that would work for you. It triggered you kaya napuno ka. And eventually led to your emotions escalating, and you saying hurtful things to me. Gusto ko lang malaman mo na naiintindihan ko kung bakit ka nagalit kahit ang hirap tanggapin ng mga sinabi mo. Na pareho tayong may rason but that doesn’t make both of our reasons invalid.

All I know is, despite all of this the most important thing that I need and want to tell you know is that no matter how painful everything is, I finally came to a point that I understand your decision to move on and I respect it because I love you kahit gaano kahirap.

I hope one day, you’ll be able to forgive me and eventually understand the things that I’ve been trying to say. It’s hard to let this go because this time, we forgot to look back on the reasons why we held on this for so long and chose to stay.

But know that if you're really decided that you want to part ways, I'll respect that and move on.

I love you Keren. I’ll miss you every day.

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neko-when-they-cry · 5 years

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Trick of the Golden Witch chapter 2

Hey there! I decided to continue this story! Here's chapter 2, have a good reading ^^

What was this place? Ange couldn't remember how she ended up here. It looked like… a tea house? She was sitting on a couch, with in front of her was a coffee table with what appeared to be a cup of tea. Ange's mind felt dizzy and everything felt blurry around her. Almost like it was a dream…

"Ange-san? Ange-san?"

A soft voice was calling for her. Ange's vision suddenly became clear and she could see. She turned her head to see who was calling her and was surprised to discover Erika, who was smiling gently at her. She remained confused about why this Erika looked like a teenager in a fancy dress instead of the professional adult she met, before she remembered what happened.

She had accepted to team up with a witch to discover the truth behind the Rokkenjima Massacre.

"Furudo…" Ange mumbled.

"Please, just call me Erika."

"What is this place? Where did you bring me?"

"No need to be worried, I simply brought you to my master."

"Your master… ?"

Ange saw some movement on the table. She turned her head and discovered a black cat on the table. Before Ange could say anything, the cat's form suddenly changed, taking a humanoid shape. A short girl with long blue hair and empty purple eyes was now standing on the table, dressed in a dark dress and with a cat tail. She was looking at Ange with an emotionless expression before she finally got down the table.

"Master!" Erika exclaimed enthusiastically.

"I see that you brought your new piece, Erika," the cat-girl said.

"Yes! I'll be worthy of your expectation, you can count on me!"

"Hm, you better be. You know I don't accept failure," her master replied with some ice in her voice.

Ange noticed a cold sweat dripping from Erika's forehead.

"Who are you?" Ange asked.

"Right, you never met me. Let me introduce myself then. I'm Bernkastel, the Witch of Miracles."

Bernkastel… what a strange name. So she was Erika's master. Not that Ange really cared about this, she had other stuff in mind.

"Are you going to tell me the truth behind the Rokkenjima Massacre?" Ange asked bluntly.

"No matter the kakera, you never change, Ange," Bernkastel replied with a soft smirk. "This is something you'll have to find yourself. I lend you my own piece Erika to help you on this quest, she'll be your witch guardian."

"And as your witch guardian I recognize you, Ushiromiya Ange, as a Witch of Truth," Erika declared.

Suddenly, Ange's clothes started to shine. When the light disappeared, she noticed that she was now wearing a goth blue dress with gold at the edge and a hat. Was that supposed to be a witch outfit? Was she truly a witch now? How ridiculous… but if playing witches was what allowed her to discover the truth, then so be it.

"I, Ushiromiya Ange, Witch of Truth, swear that I'll find out the truth behind the Rokkenjima Massacre!"

For a split-second, Bernkastel grinned, before she was back at being stoic.

"Perfect. This time, I'll simply be an observer. I leave it to you, Erika. Don't disappoint me," Bernkastel said.

"Don't worry master, I won't disappoint you! Is Lady Lambdadelta going to join us?"

Lambdadelta… another strange name.

"I prefer to avoid getting her involved. She's too attached to those people, she might do like last time and side with them. Let's keep the fun just between us, okay?" Bernkastel replied.

Erika looked delighted by this answer. She then rose up, while grabbing Ange's arm.

"Then let's go, Ange-san!"

"Huh? Go where?" Ange asked.

Erika's expression immediately became twisted, with a sinister smile on her lips.

"To see your family. We're going to Rokkenjima!"

***

"Ange-san? Ange-san?"

Ange opened her eyes. She had spaced out for a moment. She looked around and saw Erika, the adult one, sitting at her desk in her office.

"Sorry, I was daydreaming," Ange replied.

"It's okay. Thinking about witches perhaps?"

"... we could say that."

Erika was smiling, but there was some bitterness in her eyes.

"Furudo-san, do you dislike witches?" Ange asked.

"Please, just call me Erika… Hm, well I can't really dislike something that isn't real. You know, I used to play witches with the older neighbourhood girls when I was a child."

"Oh, really? It's hard to imagine you pretending to be a witch… To be frank, I used to that too, with my cousin Maria. But I eventually grew bored with it and stopped."

"Same here… I suppose we could say we're both ex-witches hehe," Erika said with nostalgia in her eyes that turned into bitterness. "Those girls, they were good with their magic tricks, I used to think it was truly magic… until I saw through their lies. They challenged me to find their secret, and for weeks I tried to understand how they could do that until I finally uncovered their tricks. Now that I knew magic was only an illusion, I had no interest in being a witch anymore. So I decided to play detective instead and, well, this is where I am now."

Ange felt like this event left some scar in Erika's heart as if her innocence had been cracked. To believe in magic and discover that it was nothing more than tricks and illusions must have been painful. Just like when a child discovered that Santa Claus wasn't real.

Ange noticed the paperwork on Erika's desk.

"What are you working one?" Ange asked.

"Oh, just a boring case. An unfaithful husband and a woman who wants me to prove it. The usual," Erika said with scorn in her smile.

"Pathetic. If you don't love your wife anymore, just leave, don't cheat on her."

"The woman is pathetic too. That's what you get for believing in love. Any woman who believes a man who tells them he loves her is stupid. Men are liars and women are gullible. Human truly is a pathetic species huh… Oh well, at least I can gain from those fools."

Erika seemed to be a woman who had lost hope in humanity. Ange felt like she was talking by experience. Did she have someone being unfaithful to her? Could it be what totally broke her innocence? Ange didn't dare to ask, she didn't want to pry too much on Erika's past. But there was one question she was wondering and was willing to ask.

"Erika… do you enjoy being a detective?"

Erika seemed taken by surprise by this sudden question, but smile nonetheless.

"I do. There's nothing more rewarding and fun than exposing people's secrets and show them how smarter I am to them. You could say I'm an intellectual rapist, and proud to be. Whatever people are hiding, I'll uncover it. I'll always expose the truth and enjoy to see their pitiful expression as I reveal their most sacred secrets to everyone."

What a nasty woman. In other words, she just wanted to uncover mysteries to prove her superiority, to put down others and satisfy her lust. A true intellectual rapist… Ange wondered what was the appeal in stepping on others like that and torment them. Erika's desire to know the truth was twisted, unlike her. Her intention was pure, she simply wanted to know the truth so her family can finally rest in peace.

Erika rose up and put a brown trenchcoat, totally stereotypical of a detective, and grinned with excitement.

"Let's go Ange-san, we have an unfaithful husband to catch!"

Ange sighed. That didn't seem in the least interesting. But who knows, maybe it will be rewarding in a way and help her find out the truth about the Rokkenjima Massacre. Without much enthusiasm, Ange followed Erika, wondering when they will investigate her case.

***

Ange was amazed by what she was witnessing. Inside of a boat, there were floating in somewhere that looked like space, but with strange blue crystals floating all around them.

"Beautiful, isn't?" Erika said.

Ange turned to see her witch guardian, who was now wearing a pirate hat.

"What is this place?" Ange asked.

"The Sea of Fragments," Erika replied. "More specifically, Beatrice's Catbox."

"Beatrice… catbox?"

"Those kakera all represent possibilities for the 4 and 5 October of 1986. As long as the truth isn't revealed, all those fragments continue to exist inside the catbox. But we are going to uncover the truth and opened this catbox, and expose the true culprit to everyone. All those kakera are useless, only the truth mattered."

Ange agreed. She had no interest in all those possibilities. She just wanted to know the truth and expose the culprit who stole away her dead family. She wanted everyone to know the truth so the culprit may never rest in peace, tainting their name forever.

"Where are we going? Are you going to show me the fragment that represents the truth?" Ange asked.

"Unfortunately, the witch cast a spell on it to seal it, only the Lord of the Golden Land can see it. So we'll have to fight them to know the truth," Erika explained.

"Lord of the Golden Land? Who's that? What's the Golden Land?"

"An imaginary place kept alive thanks to the catbox. Inhabited by nothing more than illusions and ghosts from the past. As long as this place exists, your family will never rest in peace. It's up to you to find out the truth and annihilate the Golden Land, so the soul of your relatives may finally be free."

Ange clenched her fist with anger. So her family was trapped in some imaginary land by the witch. She was determined to defeat her and find out the truth so her family may finally rest. She won't let that witch desecrated her loved ones any longer, she'll allow them to die properly and finally mourn them.

Among all the kakera, Ange noticed one that was particular, it glowed with a golden aura.

"Is that…?"

"Yes, it's the Golden Land," Erika said with some resentment in her voice.

The golden kakera was now right in front of Ange, who stretched an arm to touch it.

"Don't forget, they may look like your family, but they are nothing more than illusions. Have no mercy on them," Erika said.

"I won't. My family is dead, those people are just ghost who need to rest in peace," Ange replied with conviction.

Erika smiled with satisfaction and, with Ange, touched the golden fragment. Suddenly, the golden radiance engulfed the entire boat in gold light, swallowing the two Witches of Truth, sending them straight to the Golden Land. Short chapter, the real action will start next chapter! Seeya next time! :) You can also read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20956274/chapters/50405915#workskin

#umineko no naku koro ni #umineko when they cry #when the seagulls cry #umineko spoilers #ange ushiromiya #ushiromiya ange #furudo erika #bernkastel #fanfiction

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oceteva · 6 years

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Caught In The Middle | Mayans MC ~ Twenty Questions

Word count : 12,171

The very exhausted Miller nurse threw her body against the cold and steel receptionist desk of the pediatric ICU department with a loud and tired sigh at about ten thirty-seven p.m. as she was finally finished with work for the day. Victoria had spent the last sixteen hours enclosed inside of the pale walls of Santo Padre Medical Center, so the brunette woman was definitely ready to head home and have her a nice glass of red wine before sleeping for the rest of the week.

"You are still here?" The loud voice of the receptionist, Erica Johnston, practically yelled into the brunette nurse's ear as she looked up from her computer screen and her data entries, where she finally noticed the younger woman's tired form. Erica shook her head with amusement shining throughout her brown eyes when she only heard a small groan before she exclaimed with a playfully stern voice, "you better get home before you end up falling asleep on the floor and I am not helping you this time, Victoria."

The Miller nurse couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, despite how tired she was, as the older woman always says that when Victoria has a long shift. There was one instance where Victoria had accidentally fell over after almost a twenty hour shift during her first year and Erica still won't let her live it down. "I know, I know," the Miller nurse mumbled with an eye roll before she explained as she leaned her head into the palm of her hand with a small frown, "I was just finishing up with my last patient. Jordan was having some problems with swallowing his medicine, so I stayed until he got it down." Victoria had felt bad for the small eight year old boy that was dealing with his constantly fighting parents and pneumonia, so she didn't care about the fact that her shift ended thirty minutes ago as she wanted to make sure her patient was comfortable for the night.

Erica silently nodded her head in understanding to why she was still at work and gave the young and kind woman a small smile before she promised as she knew how worried and emotionally attached Victoria could get with her patients over the last couple of years, "I'll make sure to let the next round of nurses know to keep an extra eye on him during the night."

"Thank you," the Miller nurse praised appreciatively to know the small boy would be watched like she would be doing. Victoria knew if Jordan was still having problems that she would have just slept in an on-call room for the night, so she could be close enough to help him if he was in pain. It was just how she has always been with her patients. People always tell Victoria that she has a big heart as she hates leaving the hospital when the children that she's taking care of are in pain. Victoria likes to ease that pain as much as she can when they are in hospital as she could only imagine how afraid they are at such a young age.

"Is Jordan the only one that they need to watch?" Erica inquired after she wrote a small note to remind Kayla, the next nurse who was working in the pediatric ICU department, to make sure that the young boy wasn't in any pain while he slept through the night. This is the usual routine when a nurse or doctor leaves at the end of their shift. They always make sure that there are notes for the next nurses and doctors so the transition runs more smoothly.

Victoria bit down on her bottom lip as she thought for a moment about all the children that she had taken care of today before she shook her head. "Everyone else should be fine until they wake up," the Miller nurse answered the receptionist's question before she quickly added as she remembered something important, "but whoever comes in next needs to make sure to watch for any heart arrhythmia's for baby Nessa. Dr. Loomis repaired it this morning with surgery, so we need to keep a close eye on her."

Erica nodded her head as she quickly wrote down the information on another sticky note before she stuck it to the side of her computer. "Got it," the receptionist mumbled, mostly to herself, "Jordan might have trouble through the night and baby Nessa needs hourly check-ups." Once the older woman made sure that she had the right information, she turned her brown gaze onto the exhausted Victoria before she commanded, "now, you are going to get your ass home and sleep, missy."

The Miller nurse couldn't help but let out a heavy chuckle at the demanding older woman as she lifted her limp body from the cold receptionist desk before she innocently held her hands in the air and muttered with a grin, "fine, fine." Victoria then reached into her blue scrubs and pulled out the small handheld tablet before she handed it over to the receptionist to be put on the charger. "Good night, Mrs. Johnston," the Miller nurse stated with a small smile after she let out a heavy yawn before she turned her body around and silently headed for the elevators.

Victoria leaned her head against the cold wall of the elevator as she rode it down for three long floors while she listened to the soft piano music that was making her even more exhausted than before. Thankfully, after about four minutes had passed and before Victoria could fall asleep, the elevator let out a loud ding to alert the Miller woman that she was finally at the bottom level of the hospital. Victoria let out a heavy sigh as she stood up straight before she exited out of the elevator and walked through the silent waiting room of Santo Padre Medical Center and made her way to the surprisingly empty parking lot.

The hospital is usually crowded at ten at night but Victoria's brain wasn't in the mood to think so much, so she pushed that thought to the back of her mind as she sluggishly made her way towards her red vehicle. Once Victoria was in front of the Hyundai Accent, she reached into the pocket of her scrubs and grabbed her keys. The Miller woman tiredly unlocked her car before she tossed her body into the driver's seat. Victoria closed her hazel eyes for a moment as she absorbed the calm moment in her life before she placed the keys into the ignition and tried to make her car come to life.

However, Victoria didn't hear the smooth sound of the engine starting up like she usually would hear. Instead, the brunette woman heard the sound of her car stalling. "You got to be kidding me," Victoria grumbled once she gave up on her car before she bounced her forehead off of the leather steering wheel. I cannot believe my luck, the nurse thought as she really just wanted her bed right now. Victoria didn't even understand why her car wasn't working. It was running smoothly this afternoon when she was running errands and after her meet up with Emily.

The Miller woman didn't know shit about fixing a car, despite her interest and knowledge of motorcycles, so Victoria reached into the pocket of her scrubs and pulled out her cell phone to dial one of the people that would immediately come pick her up. Victoria listened to the ringing for a moment as she leaned back in her seat before she wondered once the call was answered, "hey, Ange. Can you come pick me up from the hospital?"

The older Reyes instantly became on guard as soon as he answered Victoria's call as he was the one that usually called when he knew that she would be at home after work and not while she was supposed to be on the road. "What's wrong, princesa? Are you in trouble? Do you need the clubs help?" Angel swiftly fired off as his mind was running a mile a minute.

Victoria couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at the obviously worried biker before she murmured, "no, no. It's nothing like that." The Miller woman ran her fingers through her messy brunette hair for a second before she explained her problem to Angel, "it's just my piece of shit car. It wouldn't even start up when I tried. It immediately stalled." Victoria then slowly got out of her red car that was no use to her as she added with a small smile, "so, no, I don't need the big and bad MC. I just need Angel."

Once Angel realized that nothing serious was wrong with the Miller woman and she wasn't in any trouble, a smirk lifted onto his face as he made his way out of the loud Mayans clubhouse before the Reyes biker wondered teasingly, "oh, really? And what will I get if I do help you, princesa?"

Victoria immediately rolled her hazel eyes as she knew what game Angel was playing at. However, she didn't mind as Victoria figured some alone time with Angel right now would help her have a good night's sleep after an exhausted today. "Well," Victoria drawled out as she closed the door of her car and leaned against it before she murmured with a small smirk as she knew that she had Angel right where she wanted him, "if you can get here in less than thirty minutes then I'll do whatever you want once we get home."

A loud groan instantly sounded through Victoria's cell phone, like she had expected after her taunting, before Angel hurriedly uttered in a throaty voice once he swiftly jumped onto his motorcycle, "you will be the death of me, princesa." There was then the loud sound of, what Victoria could only assume, Angel grabbing his helmet from his side compartment and the noisy sound of the motorcycle's engine before Angel quickly promised, "don't go anywhere. I'm on my way, princesa."

Victoria let out a loud chuckle as she could hear the want and need in the older Reyes' voice before she murmured with a smirk, "I'll see you soon then." The Miller woman rolled her hazel eyes after a second or two when she only heard the dial tone as she realized Angel had hung up on her. Looks like I'm not gonna get much sleep for the next couple of hours, Victoria thought while she pushed her cell phone back into her blue scrubs as she knew she and Angel were going to be quite busy by how urgent Angel was to get to her. Victoria figured he needed to relax himself from all the club business, so the Miller nurse knew that she was in for a long night - not that she was going to complain. She loved when Angel was like this as it always comes with mind-blowing sex.

Victoria figured that it would take Angel at least twenty or so minutes until he would show up at the hospital, so the Miller woman moved to the front of her car and jumped onto the hood before she leaned back and stared up at the bright stars in the night sky as she enjoyed the peaceful silence. However, the tranquility didn't last as long as Victoria had thought it would when she heard a somewhat familiar voice quietly ask, "car trouble?"

"You have no ide-" Victoria began to mumble in annoyance as she pulled her body off of her vehicle as the Miller woman figured it was one of the nurses from the hospital that was talking to her. But Victoria was shocked that she couldn't even finish her sentence when she saw the steel pair of brown eyes that belongs to the head of security for the Galindo cartel. The Miller woman instantly grew nervous with being this close to Nestor, so she swallowed thickly and backed up until she was stopped by her car. "Um," Victoria awkwardly mumbled before she asked in a quiet voice as Victoria was concerned for the reason why the dangerous man was seeking her out at night, "w-what are you doing here?"

The Oceteva man stood up straight from his position against the brick wall before he slowly and silently walked towards the brunette woman until he was standing only a couple of feet away from her. Nestor then twitched his head to the side as he watched Victoria's obviously nervous figure before he finally uttered as he crossed his arms over his dark blue dress shirt, "Miguel wants to know who's all involved with his cartel while the Los Olvidados is screwing up his business." Nestor took another step closer before he concluded, "he also would like to know who's his wife is hanging around."

Victoria couldn't help but roll her hazel eyes, despite how nervous Nestor makes her, at the stupid questions before she crossed her arms over her own chest and stated, "well, you can tell Miguel that he has nothing to worry about since I know nothing about the rebels." The Miller woman stared into Nestor's brown eyes for a moment before she had to remind herself to continue, "and with the Emily issue, Miguel doesn't have to be wary about me. I would never let anything happen to her. Emily has always been like my sister, so I would protect her with my life."

Nestor silently nodded his head as he took in the Miller woman's words to tell Miguel tonight during their meeting before he took a couple of more steps towards Victoria until there was only less three inches between them when he picked up something from the woman's statement. "You called them rebels, not Los Olvidados," the Oceteva man smoothly stated before he countered, "I didn't call them rebels, so you aren't as clueless as you say."

Victoria mentally cursed herself with all the words in the book as she realized her simple mistake. The Miller woman wanted this conversation and the tension to end already but Victoria knew that wasn't going to be possible anytime soon now that the head of security for the Galindo cartel obviously thinks that she is lying by how close he was to her and the continuous conversation about the rebels. "Alright, fine. You caught me," Victoria mumbled as she knew the only way to get out of this was to just tell the truth. The Miller woman held up her right hand in the air as she explained, "but I only know about them from Angel. He mentioned that the club had heard that some of them were recently crossing the border and into California so Angel just told me to be careful when I'm by myself." Victoria shook her head as she promised, "I don't know anything about them besides the fact that they are dangerous."

The empty parking lot of Santo Padre Medical Center was silent for a couple of tense minutes as the Oceteva man tried to see if the brunette woman was telling the truth with his interrogation skills from the Navy and his work with the cartel before he finally nodded his head as he believed that she was telling the truth about not knowing about the Los Olvidados. Nestor realized that Victoria wasn't any type of danger to Miguel's business nor for Emily but he didn't want to walk away just yet so Nestor asked as he noticed the yawn escaping the woman's mouth, "do you want to join me for a coffee?"

Victoria stared into the Oceteva man's brown irises with her brows deeply furrowed in disarray. She was beyond confused to how Nestor could go from basically threatening her for his boss to asking her out. Nestor Oceteva makes the Miller nurse feel tense and nervous when they are around each other but Victoria thought back to her conversation with Emily before she could decline his offer. Victoria remembered that the blonde woman wanted her to get along with her family and Victoria now realized that unfortunately also meant the man that Miguel obviously trusted with his wife's life so Victoria took a deep breath before she murmured quietly, "sure."

The nervous woman and the calm man silently walked over to the small coffee truck that was in front of Santo Padre Medical Center after Victoria agreed to Nestor's offer before the Oceteva man took charge and ordered two iced coffees to accompany the warm weather in Southern California. The Miller nurse and the Oceteva assassin then headed towards an empty bench that was a few feet away from the truck and in front of a small pond.

"Thanks," Victoria nervously murmured as she carefully grabbed the iced coffee from Nestor's hand once they had taken a seat on the wooden bench. The Miller nurse then quickly placed her lips around the black straw as a tense silence began to overtake the small seating area while she was only a few inches away from the dangerous man that works for the Galindo cartel. Victoria was honestly starting to regret accepting Nestor's offer as she didn't know what she is supposed to say. I really wish Emily was here, the nervous woman anxiously thought as she knew her friend would be a perfect buffer right about now.

"So, Victoria," the Oceteva man began after about three or so more minutes of tense silence had passed by between the two recently introduced strangers as they both stared across at the dark pond in front of them with their iced coffees before Nestor curiously inquired as he turned his head and stared at the left side of the brunette woman's face, "how did a nurse get wrapped into this life?"

Victoria glanced over at the Oceteva man with a raised eyebrow as she was confused why she was being interrogated like this. There was no reason for Nestor to be asking her questions when she had already explained that she was no danger to the cartel which was Nestor's whole point of finding her tonight. However, Victoria had time to kill while she waited for Angel to show up so the Miller woman decided to humor the man as she answered his question with a small shrug, "it just happened." Victoria took a small sip of her caffeinated drink before she continued, "I was seventeen when I started getting closer to the Mayans thanks to my newly formed friendship with Angel and Coco. So, while I was getting my nursing degree, I just ended up getting wrapped into the club since I would help heal them and I never left. They are the only family I have known so they got stuck with me over the years."

"What happened to your parents or your siblings?" Nestor immediately questioned after he finished listening to Victoria's history of getting involved with the motorcycle club as he became engrossed in her story. The Oceteva man didn't exactly understand it himself, but he felt attached to the brunette woman - hence the reason why he was still hanging around with her instead of meeting with Miguel like he should be doing.

Victoria couldn't help but to be startled by this question from the cartel assassin. It was definitely the last thing that the Miller woman expected to come out of Nestor's mouth as she didn't see how that was any of the Galindo's business - expect for Emily's since she is her friend and actually knows her history. However, Nestor is basically a stranger to Victoria, so she didn't understand why the man would want to know about her personal life.

"What is this? Twenty questions?" Victoria couldn't help but ask in a snarky voice after a minute or two of silence had passed between them and once she twisted her body so her back was leaning against the arm rest of the wooden bench and she was staring directly at the truly curious Oceteva man with a raised eyebrow. The Miller woman was beginning to become tense again like she usually was around Nestor as she was getting the feeling that she could say the wrong thing and end up dead.

A small smirk instantly slipped onto Nestor's lips at the attitude from the woman that is usually reserved around him. It was definitely something new and Nestor liked that Victoria was finally opening up instead of being so nervous. The Oceteva man then lifted up his right shoulder in a shrugging motion as he finally answered the awaiting woman's question in a calm and relaxed voice, "it could be." Nestor rose his right eyebrow with a questioning expression before he continued, "unless you have something better to do."

The Miller woman bit down on her bottom lip as she stared across at Nestor for a moment before she released a small sigh as Victoria knew if she disagreed then the man with the braids would think that she is hiding something seeing as she couldn't exactly leave the hospital's parking lot until Angel showed up. Victoria definitely didn't need the head of security of the Galindo cartel to think that, so the brunette nurse silently nodded her head in agreement before she murmured, "alright, fine. Shoot me with your best shot." The Miller woman's hazel eyes then instantly widened after she heard what came out of her mouth before she quickly and nervously corrected herself, "wait, no. That's not what I meant. I, um, don't shoot me just ask your question."

The Oceteva man released a small and deep chuckle as he watched the panic set into the woman's irises after her ironic statement to him, who uses a weapon on a daily basis. However, Nestor didn't want to scare the poor nurse away, so he placed a calm expression on his face before he told the woman in a friendly voice to hopefully ease her stress, "you can relax, Victoria. I'm not looking to kill you anytime soon."

"Well, that's assuring," Victoria couldn't help but sarcastically mumble out as she immediately caught the 'anytime soon,' from the man that could definitely kill her with the two guns strapped to the sides of his chest without a second thought. The Miller woman, however, in this moment didn't believe that Nestor would turn the deadly weapon on her so Victoria pushed away her nerves before she answered Nestor's previous question about her life, "I do have a sibling, but he's been locked up in Oakland for the last twelve years." Victoria took a slow and deep breath as she immediately imagined her older brother; Nathan, someone she hadn't thought about in years before she continued with a shrug of indifference, "and my parents are deadbeats. I haven't seen them since I was nineteen."

Nestor silently nodded his head as he listened to the Miller woman's answers, which definitely surprised and intrigued him. The Oceteva man was definitely shocked to find out that Victoria wasn't just this innocent pediatric nurse that accidentally got mixed in with the motorcycle club like he had originally thought. She instead had a dark past that Nestor wanted to know more about. "So, what did your brother do to get sent away for that long?" The Oceteva man curiously inquired.

Victoria bit down on her bottom lip as she stared across at the man's steel brown eyes as she tried to figure out how to word her answer without letting out too much information about her estranged brother and the past that she wished to forget about before the Miller woman let out a small sigh and murmured, "well, uh, he's in for murder." Victoria knew her answer would raise more questions about Nathan's crime but Victoria was definitely not about to mention how her brother killed their father's friend and business partner. That was just something Victoria was not about to open up to someone that she barely knows as she almost didn't tell Ezekiel about it back when it happened. It was an old wound that didn't need to be opened when her brother is sacrificing his freedom for her in prison and that their father isn't around to cause her anymore pain with his 'buddies' like he did when she was a teenager.

The Miller woman could tell Nestor was going to continue this line of questioning about her brother and the murder by the way he was basically on the edge of his seat, so Victoria placed a fake smile on her face as she tried her hardest to push away the nightmares of her childhood before she exclaimed, "I believe we are playing twenty questions, Mr. Oceteva, so that would mean that it's my turn to ask a question."

Nestor let out a small chuckle as he could see the attitude coming back into the Miller nurse but that didn't stop him from noticing the way that she was avoiding to talk about her brother's crime but Nestor would bring that up at a later time once he has Victoria's trust. Instead, the Oceteva man nodded his head in agreement before he lightly waved his right hand and told Victoria, "you're right, so ask away, Ms. Miller."

Thank you, Jesus, the brunette woman instantly praised to the dark sky as she was beyond happy that they could move away from that part of her life that she didn't like to think about. Victoria then shot the head of security a small smile as she tried to think of a question that she was brave enough to ask to the dangerous man. The Miller woman was still coming up blank after a minute or two so Victoria took a long sip of her iced coffee as she tried to buy her some time before her hazel eyes slightly widened as she finally realized what she could ask. "How did you get involved with the Galindo's?" Victoria inquired as she figured it was the best and safest question since Nestor had basically asked her the same question about how she got involved with the Mayans.

"Miguel and I have always been best friends since we were growing up as children in Mexico," Nestor easily answered as he crossed his shiny black leather shoes at the ankles and relaxed his body against the wooden bench. The Oceteva man took a small drink from his iced coffee before he continued by carefully choosing his words and leaving out any information that could be somehow used against the cartel as he was still trying to see if he could trust the brunette woman, "but when Miguel came to America to attend college, I joined the Navy. It wasn't until about six years ago that we ran into each other and began to work together after Miguel took over the cartel once his father died."

Victoria couldn't help but to be surprised that Miguel hadn't always been involved with the cartel. She knew that Miguel had attended college in America thanks to Emily's story from this afternoon about how they met but the Miller woman had just always thought that Miguel had been apart of the family business all his life. Nestor's answer definitely put some things into perspective about her friend's husband and their life together as Victoria had figured Emily knew what she was being dragged into instead of the reality of Emily being pushed inside of the cartel life after she started a relationship with Miguel. The Miller woman was also pleasantly surprised by the fact that Nestor was in the military. However, Victoria knew that she shouldn't be that shocked by the way Nestor always carries himself and the soldier-like attitude he always has when it comes to the Galindo family like she saw this afternoon with Emily and when she saw him with Marcus and Miguel at the clubhouse.

"Now, it's my turn," Nestor uttered after a couple minutes of tranquility had settled between them on the wooden bench while they stared across at the dark water as it was time for him to ask the brunette woman another question since apparently they are playing twenty questions. The Oceteva man studied every feature on Victoria's calm face to read her reaction to his question as he curiously asked, "what is your relation to Angel Reyes?"

And there it is, the Miller woman thought as she knew that she would be getting this question sooner or later from the Oceteva man. It was a question that she has been getting since she was eighteen and this time was no different. However, the question still was just as annoying as the first time, so Victoria couldn't help but roll her hazel eyes at the dangerous man and mumble, "of course you would ask about that."

The Oceteva man let out a throaty laugh as he noticed the oddly cute scowl on the brunette nurse's face before he instantly held up the hand that wasn't holding his iced coffee and uttered innocently, "what?" Nestor shook his head in amusement before he explained why he had asked about the Mayan member, "I've noticed how protective he is about you - even when you aren't around." The brown eyed man slightly shrugged his shoulders as he concluded, "I'm just curious, that's all."

"Mhmm," Victoria mumbled as she stared across at the head of security for the Galindo cartel while she tried to see if Nestor had another motive for wanting to know more about Angel. However, when Victoria could only find curiousness in his brown eyes, the Miller woman released a small sigh before she began like she always does when she gets this question about her relationship with the older Reyes, "Angel and I are just friends. We have a close relationship because of the shit we had to go through together during our younger years so we have always been connected at the hip." Victoria lightly shrugged her shoulders as she concluded, "Angel is my best friend but we have our 'couple' moments sometimes. I guess you can say we depend on one another and that's how our relationship has been for years. We've never have had any reason to go any further than that or step back so yeah, Angel can get protective like I do over him."

Nestor could immediately tell that Victoria's explanation wasn't the hundred percent truth by the way he had noticed how the older Reyes brother reacted at the clubhouse last week when they first saw the brunette woman and the way Angel became tense when Miguel mentioned Victoria yesterday during a meeting with the motorcycle club. The Oceteva man could tell that there is something more than just a friendly relationship between the nurse and the biker.

"Now, since we're asking about relationships," Victoria began as she wanted to draw this conversation away her relation to the older Reyes from the cartel assassin as it made her feel awkward and weird for some reason before she inquired with a raised eyebrow, "what is Miguel like?" The Miller woman figured this would help give her an idea about how her dinner will go with the Galindo couple as she was anxious without a date actually being set up yet. Miguel gave Victoria a scary vibe the first time that she met him, so the Miller woman wanted to prepare herself as much as she could.

"Well, Miguel and I are definitely not as close as you and Angel obviously are," the Oceteva man jabbed as he silently tried to figure out this relationship between the nurse and the biker without actually asking Victoria about it. Nestor didn't want to spook the brunette woman by interrogating her about it as he knew she would become closed off again like she has been during their first two meetings.

Victoria couldn't help but throw her head back against the wooden bench with a throaty laugh before she turned her attention onto the Oceteva man beside her, who was surprisingly grinning in her direction, and murmured in amusement, "I'd hope not." The Miller woman shook her head as she added with a small smirk, "or Emily has some major competition."

Nestor rose his right eyebrow in amusement as he finally began to relax now that he knew that the brunette woman wasn't a threat to the Galindo cartel or Miguel's family with his arm tossed on the back of the wooden bench by Victoria's head and shoulders before he teased with a smirk of his own shining across his lips, "oh? Does that mean you find me attractive if you think I would be competition against Emily for Miguel's attention?"

Victoria's pale face instantly blushed beet red as she realized what she had insinuated by her statement which essentially made it seem like she was saying that Nestor is attractive. It's not a lie, though, the Miller woman thought as she would have to be blind to not see how attractive Nestor is with his strong arms almost busting out of his dark blue dress shirt along with the fact that a guy handling a weapon always makes Victoria feel some type of way - despite Nestor being a dangerous man for the cartel.

Finally and thankfully for the brunette nurse, Victoria jumped out of her embarrassment and her thoughts of the assassin's attractive features when she heard Nestor's heavy laughter fall throughout the dark night in front of the small pond. "Oh, shut up," Victoria mumbled with another round of embarrassment before she unconsciously slapped Nestor's thigh like she was speaking to an old friend before she commanded, "just answer the damn question."

The Oceteva man let out another sound of amusement but this time just a small chuckle while he stared over at the brunette woman as he enjoyed their time together. It was the first time in years that Nestor felt like a normal man. Yeah, he's had his one night stands over the years to help himself relax but with the Miller woman it was different. It was like Victoria brought out a calmer side of him that only Miguel could. Nestor wasn't sure if that was a good thing or bad thing in his line of work but the Oceteva man decided to worry about that later. Instead, Nestor took another sip of his iced coffee before he finally answered Victoria's previous question, "Miguel is a complex person."

Nestor took a quick pause for a moment as he tried to figure out how to word his best friend to the brunette woman as he knew she was just curious to who she would be meeting during her dinner with Emily and Miguel from the conversation he had listened to this afternoon at the small coffee shop. "The cartel is Miguel's life, so he's very serious over his business and will do whatever it takes to make sure the cartel continues to be successful no matter the cost or who gets hurt," the Oceteva man truthfully began again, "however, Emily and Cristobal are his world and family is very important to Miguel." Nestor let out a small chuckle before he told Victoria with a small smirk, "but you shouldn't have to worry too much during your dinner about being imitated or interrogated by Miguel. He's very different when he's around Emily and his son. It's like the cartel disappears when he's around his family."

Victoria silently nodded her head and murmured, "that makes sense." The Miller woman figured that Emily and little Cristobal would be Miguel's 'safe haven' where he can relax away from the cartel as Victoria couldn't see her old best friend being with someone that is only about business and not about his family since Emily's parents only cared about their company instead of caring for their only child when they were younger.

The Miller woman couldn't help but to be glad that she wouldn't have to worry about Miguel asking questions about her connection to the Mayans, though, like she has been afraid of since she agreed to having dinner with him and Emily. She didn't want to walk into the wolf's den, so Nestor's answer helped calm Victoria a bit but she still felt this nervousness about having dinner with the head of the Galindo cartel. However, Victoria figured it was just because of all the stories that she had heard from Angel. It's not like I can back out now, anyway, the Miller nurse thought while she took a sip of her iced coffee as she didn't want to disappoint Emily or lose her old friend again. Victoria just had to make sure that her guard is up around the cartel leader.

The bench in front of the small pond that was beside the local hospital and the coffee truck was silent for a few minutes as the nurse and the assassin enjoyed the silence before the Oceteva man turned his gaze back onto the brunette woman and stated, "I heard from Emily that you did plan on leaving this town when you were younger but you never did." Nestor rose an eyebrow as he curiously wondered, "so, do you think that you'll ever actually leave Santo Padre now that your friend EZ is back?"

"Wow," Victoria mumbled in surprise before she joked with a soft chuckle as she was not expecting this question at all, "bringing out the deep questions, aren't you, huh?" Nestor's question, however, was something that Victoria had never even thought about, so the Miller woman instantly shook her head without a second thought. "The Reyes men, besides the MC, have always been the only family that has ever cared and loved for me," Victoria stated with a soft smile before she explained, "yeah, I did originally want to leave straight out of high school but when I decided to stay and help Felipe Reyes while EZ was in prison, I knew I could never leave. The three men had shaped the person I am today, so leaving has never crossed my mind in years."

The Oceteva man silently nodded his head as he could see that from the two previous times that he had met the brunette woman. Nestor had noticed, now that he thought about it, when he and Miguel were at the Mayans' clubhouse with Marcus that both of the Reyes brothers were very close to Victoria in a protective manner when they had showed up and also when the nurse was leaving as the older Reyes wouldn't take his eyes off of the woman until she left while also being tense throughout the whole meeting. Nestor could also see how much Victoria cared about the siblings as well by the way she talked about them at the coffee shop with Emily. So the Oceteva man could see why Victoria wouldn't want to leave her hometown, no matter how bad it gets, because of the Reyes men that were obviously more her family than her actual ones that she had told him about during one of his first questions.

"You mentioned earlier that you were in the Navy," Victoria stated as she moved on to her next question once she realized Nestor wasn't going to comment on her answer about ever leaving Santo Padre. "What was your job or duty when you were serving in the military?" The Miller woman curiously inquired. Victoria was very interested in what Nestor did while in the Navy as he didn't seem like the type of person to do such a thing when he's working with the cartel so Victoria wanted to know what he was like back then.

"I was an intelligence specialist for four years before becoming an intelligence officer. I got a degree in communications when I was nineteen while I was stationed overseas in Afghanistan during my first tour," Nestor easily began to explain his military career that took place in his late teens and early twenties. "It took about three years after I got my degree before I was leading my own squadron on the USS Avenger, where we helped take down seven camps of the biggest Islamic organizations over my thirteen year career," the Oceteva man proudly stated with a barely noticeable smile across his lips as he recalled his days in the Navy.

"Wow," Victoria couldn't help but impressively murmur with a hint of surprise in her voice as she definitely wasn't imagining that. The Miller woman had figured that Nestor would have been a sailor on enemy lines like a Navy Seal by the way that he carries himself with his weapons easily strapped to his chest so she was pleasantly surprised to know that he led his own team and did a lot for their country. However, the fact that the Oceteva man was an intelligence officer began to make Victoria realize it was the perfect fit since Nestor would have a lot of connections and abilities to help Miguel keep the Galindo cartel in tip top shape as the head of security.

The Oceteva man decided to keep the conversation on their careers so once he took a small sip of his iced coffee, Nestor turned his attention back onto Victoria before he asked his next question - thanks to the information that he got from Emily along with the hospital receptionist when he had asked about the brunette nurse earlier this afternoon, "since you work as a pediatric nurse, have you ever thought of having your own?"

Victoria thought about the question for a moment before she nodded her head as she uttered, "yeah, of course." The Miller woman glanced into Nestor's brown eyes before she continued, "I mean, that's one of the reasons why I picked the pediatric department. I've always loved taking care of children so I wouldn't mind having my own someday." The brunette nurse then released a small sigh before she murmured, "but it's difficult to do so with the life I live. I don't think it would be right to bring a child around my life when I'm always busy at the hospital and being surrounded by the Mayans." Victoria quickly rose her hand as she instantly defended the motorcycle club, "but don't get me wrong, I love the MC and all they have done for me. But after one of their enemies came after me a few years ago, I pushed the dream of having a child away."

Nestor could understand the Miller woman's answer as he is surrounded by the same terror that she sees. However, the one thing that the Oceteva man didn't think would come out of Victoria's mouth was her last statement. "You've been attacked?" Nestor couldn't help but ask with a tight voice even though it wasn't his turn in their exchange of questions.

"Yep," Victoria emotionlessly mumbled out as she slowly began to get quick flashbacks to the night from a couple of years ago with the local street gang that were pissed off at Bishop and their drug deal. The Miller woman usually didn't know about the club's business but that was one of the times that she did since she was so shaken up. "The Dogwood gang had showed up at the clubhouse when I was there one night and they followed me home when they didn't get their way with the club," Victoria began to explain as she anxiously played with the lid of her iced coffee, "but thankfully Angel and Coco arrived just in time."

Victoria could tell that Nestor wanted to know more details during her first and only attack with the motorcycle club and Victoria didn't exactly feel like reliving that night where she got a gun to the face along with a black eye, so the Miller woman quickly shot the brown eyed man a small smile and murmured, "anyways," before she asked her next question since it was technically her turn, "you don't find it boring to be head of security for the Galindo's after working in a war zone for all those years in the military?"

The Oceteva man shook his head with an amused chuckle before he began to answer the brunette woman's question, "working with the cartel is anything but boring." Nestor took a sip of his iced coffee before he explained once he noticed the confused expression on Victoria's face, "there's not that much of a difference between my work with the cartel and the Navy. I'm still leading a team of soldiers towards a cause." The assassin let a small smirk lift onto his lips as he joked, "the only real difference is that I'm always on land instead of on the ocean and in a ship."

"Ha ha, real funny," Victoria sarcastically mumbled with a roll of her hazel eyes at the Oceteva man's try of making a joke as if she was talking with a close friend. The Miller woman had realized that she was really starting to come around to the cartel assassin as she noticed her sarcasm coming out that only happened around the Mayans. Victoria, however, didn't know if that was a good or bad thing as she had planned to not even befriend the Oceteva man since she knew he's dangerous. But Victoria couldn't help but to feel more comfortable around the weapon-wearing man.

Nestor let a small and real smile lift onto his lips at their easy back and forth jabs while he stared across at the brunette woman with absolute calmness in his usually hard brown eyes. The Oceteva man hadn't felt this emotion, calmness and a sense of tranquility, in awhile which was such a breath of fresh air for the cartel assassin that deals with constant death and destruction on a daily basis. It was nice and Nestor didn't want it to end anytime soon, so the Oceteva man came up with another question that he was curious about from the information that Victoria had gave him, "when you aren't saving babies and babysitting the Mayans, what do you like to do with your off time?"

Victoria couldn't help but release a small chuckle with a shake of her head as Nestor described her day and night job. The Miller woman couldn't deny as that was basically what she does everyday, so Victoria pushed his taunting to the local motorcycle club like they were children away as she finished the rest of her iced coffee. The brunette nurse tossed her empty cup in the trashcan beside her before she answered Nestor's question after a moment of thinking, "well, when I'm not at the hospital, clubhouse, or helping out at the butcher shop I like to explore the city." Victoria rolled her hazel eyes when she saw Nestor raise an eyebrow before she explained with a wave of her hand, "yeah, yeah, I know. I've lived here my entire life but I just like seeing the culture. It always makes me realize that no matter how bad shit gets in my life, there will always be beauty surrounding me." The Miller woman's face then immediately blushed beet red as she realized what she said before she mumbled, "I know that is so fucking cliche." Victoria pointed at Nestor with a small smile lifting onto her lips as she begged, "don't laugh at me."

The Oceteva man instantly lifted both of his arms in the air like an innocent person would with a large grin spread across his lips before he told the brunette woman, "no, no. I won't laugh." However, though, a second later only passed before Nestor busted out in a heavy laughter - which caused Victoria to join in. The two acquaintances laughed together for a short moment before the Oceteva man placed his hand lightly on Victoria's scrubs-covered thigh before he told her, "but honestly, it's nice. I can see why you would think that when you are so busy with sick kids and bikers. It's not stupid, I promise."

Victoria looked across at Nestor for a moment as she tried to see if he was going to make fun of her before she mumbled, "mhmm. Sure." The Miller woman couldn't help but let out a small chuckle as she could see the small smirk on the man's face before she continued with what she likes to do on her off time, "I also like to try new foods. I'm busy a lot so I'm always just picking something quick and easy - unless Felipe convinces me to stay for dinner after work, so I always try to find new restaurants when I have the time."

Nestor immediately shook his head as he was not going to accept that answer. "What about hobbies?" The Oceteva man questioned as he couldn't see the nurse going to a busy and loud restaurant to relax after a long day. "I mean, come on, Victoria," Nestor exclaimed, "that's not really relaxing besides eating your way to a food coma." The cartel assassin let out a small chuckle before he questioned, "what is your absolute favorite thing to do, no matter how embarrassing, when you want to relax and forget everything?"

Victoria grumbled under her breath at the fact that the brown eyed man wasn't letting up when she was already embarrassed from her first answer. "What about you, Mr. hotshot?" The Miller woman stubbornly interrogated as she crossed her arms over her light blue scrubs. Victoria shook her head as she exclaimed, "I'm not tell you my embarrassing hobby until you tell me yours."

Nestor let an amused grin spread across his lips as he inquired, "so, you'll tell me yours if I tell you mine?" Once the Oceteva man saw the brunette woman quickly nod her head, Nestor let out a small chuckle at her way of putting off answering his question before he let out a barely noticeable sigh and quietly murmured his personal hobby, "when I'm not busy with the cartel, well, I like to paint."

Victoria's hazel eyes slightly widened in surprise as she wasn't expecting the calm and dedicated craft to be how the cartel assassin relaxes before she voiced her shock, "really?" The Miller woman let out a soft chuckle as she couldn't believe that out of everything that painting was Nestor's hobby as she figured it would have been drinking or going to the shooting range. "What is it that you like to paint?" Victoria inquired after a moment once she got over her shock as she was actually curious about Nestor's hobby.

Nestor let a small smile work it's way onto his lips as he watched the many facial expressions of the pediatric nurse before he answered her question as he pictured the canvases that he has in his house, "I enjoy painting landscapes the most - like the places I have seen and been to over my military career and while working with the cartel." The Oceteva man then swiftly exclaimed, once he noticed the brunette woman was about to open her mouth, "now stop avoiding the question, Ms. Miller." Nestor rose his right eyebrow at Victoria before he questioned once more, "what is your hobby?"

Victoria released a heavy sigh as she realized that she wasn't going to be able to get out of this one before she murmured as she held out her point and middle finger, "I have two." The Miller woman shook her head as she explained, "one is super embarrassing for me and the other one is pretty normal." Victoria figured that she would rather start with the one that wouldn't cause her face to flush red as she began to describe her hobby, "my normal one is the fact that I draw up tattoos for some of the local tattoo shops around California." A tiny grin unconsciously slipped onto Victoria's face as she continued, "I've always have had a passion for drawing and I have always loved the art of tattoos ever since I got my first one at nineteen." The Miller woman lifted up her long sleeve shirt that was under her scrubs on her left arm as she showed Nestor her dream catcher tattoo before she let out a small chuckle and stated, "I'm also a tattoo artist in training."

The Oceteva man rose both of his eyebrows to the top of his forehead in surprise that the nurse, who takes care of babies and children on the regular, was into tattoos and actually freelances during her off time to tattoo parlors that helps her relax from her busy life. "Really?" Nestor questioned as he was very curious about this hobby of the Miller woman's while he stared down at the large, detailed tattoo on her forearm.

"Yep," Victoria proudly exclaimed with a large grin across her face as she always loved getting that reaction from people when she would tell them what she likes to do. It had been a passion of hers since Mama M passed away and Ezekiel went to prison as it was an outlet for her. Victoria at first only drawled for herself until people had told her how good she was . However, when Angel had convinced her to give him a miniature tattoo of the Mayans MC logo on his chest that is when she actually started to get serious about it. "I have a friend out in Charming that helps me hone my craft as a tattoo artist," Victoria explained as she thought about her tattoo-covered friend before she uttered with a small shrug, "he lets me practice on his body when he's in town, so I'd say I'm not that bad at it."

"Wow," Nestor murmured as he shook his head with a small chuckle while he stared directly into Victoria's hazel eyes before he softly commented, "you're just full of surprises." It took the Oceteva man a couple of seconds to shake himself out of their staring contest before he told Victoria with a cheeky grin, "maybe I'll let you tattoo me someday."

Victoria let out a throaty laugh as she rolled her hazel eyes. "Yeah, right," the Miller woman exclaimed as she pushed Nestor's offer to the very back of her mind. Tattooing on bikers was like paddy-cake for the pediatric nurse but Victoria felt like she would be a nervous wreck tattooing a cartel member.

"What?" Nestor questioned with amusement shining in his brown eyes as he could see the nerves wracking the brunette woman. The Oceteva man then moved the collar of his dark blue shirt to the side and showed Victoria the tattoo on the side of his neck as he told her why he would offer her the opportunity to tattoo him, "this one right here, Miguel did it before we both went our separate ways with him going to college and me going into the Navy."

Victoria's nerves immediately disappeared as soon as she had a closer look at the ink that she had noticed on the Oceteva man's neck. The curious and the artist part of her was definitely peaked that she didn't even realize that she had moved down the wooden bench until her thigh was touching Nestor's before Victoria slowly brought her hand up to the black-colored tattoo. Victoria then lightly as a feather ran her point finger across the cursive 'p' but swiftly pulled her hand away once she realized what she was doing. The Miller woman's face instantly blushed bright red before she loudly cleared her throat as she slid back to her original spot and complimented the artwork, "it's looks pretty good for a beginner - especially for a young Miguel."

The Oceteva man couldn't help the large smirk that rose onto his face as he watched the embarrassed expression that Victoria was sporting as he found it amusing how many expressions that he can make the Miller woman go through. However, Nestor decided to not to tease her anymore about how close they had been, despite the warm feeling he had, as he turned the conversation back onto Victoria as he questioned, "now what is this embarrassing hobby of yours?"

"You are not gonna let this go," Victoria groaned out as she threw her head back. The Miller woman stayed like that for a moment with her eyes closed before she took a quick peek at Nestor and let out another groan when she saw him grinning at her. "Ugh, fine," Victoria mumbled before she finally gave him the answer that he wanted, "my most embarrassing hobby is the fact that I love to roller skate." The pediatric nurse threw her hands in the air before she exclaimed now that the cat is out of the bag, "I'm a grown ass woman and I will gladly run down any teenager at the skating rink if they get in my way."

Nestor let out a heavy laughter while he watched a beet red blush reach Victoria's cheeks once again as he was not expecting the pediatric nurse/tattoo-artist to be an active skater. "Remind me to not get in your way," the Oceteva man joked before he promised with a slightly smile, "by the way, it's not embarrassing." Nestor shook his head as he bumped his shoulder with Victoria's as he whispered with a hint of teasing in his voice, "badass but not embarrassing." Once the cartel assassin could calm his amusement enough to speak again after a minute or two, Nestor stared into Victoria's hazel eyes as he curiously wondered, "so why is skating your outlet to relax?"

Victoria awkwardly cleared her throat as she quickly tried to push away her embarrassment of telling Nestor, someone that she had barely gotten to know in the last fifteen minutes, before she explained with a soft smile on her face as she recalled how she fell in love with skating, "when I was younger, I never liked to be home with my parents and I wasn't exactly the fastest runner, so Em and I saw these skates in this resale shop on our way home from school when we were fourteen and I've loved it ever sense." Victoria stared across at the dark water for a moment as bad memories slowly crept into her mind before she continued her explanation, "it was my way to runaway without actually doing it. It always made me feel alive by speeding down the streets at this incredible speed. The bruises and scrapes that came from fun instead of my home life was always worth it."

The Oceteva man couldn't help but catch the way Victoria let out the small piece of information about her home life - that she had kept under a tight wrap all night long after she spoken about her imprisoned brother. Nestor figured this was the chance that he needed to follow-up on the Miller woman's personal life now that she was slipping up so the cartel assassin swiftly and calmly questioned, "what did you have to run away from at home?"

Victoria's body immediately went rigid as she realized that she had let out too much information about part of her history that she rarely likes to think or talk about. The brunette woman mentally cursed herself for letting her lips get loose like that as she didn't even talk to Angel about her childhood in the Miller house and she definitely wasn't going to talk about it with her new acquaintance. So instead of answering Nestor's question, Victoria completely ignored it as she asked the one question that had been bothering her all night, "so why did you want to ask all these questions about me and my life? What does Miguel have to gain from the knowledge of my hobbies and ambitions?"

Nestor lifted up his shoulders in a shrugging motion before he simply uttered the truth, "this isn't for Miguel." The head of security for the Galindo cartel had originally came to the hospital to gain information for Miguel but after Nestor had realized the nurse wasn't a threat to their organization nor to Miguel's family, Nestor couldn't help but want to get to know the woman that had been on his mind since seeing her inside of the Mayans clubhouse. The Oceteva man then shot the pediatric nurse a small smile once he noticed the confused expression on her face before he explained, "I find you intriguing, Victoria Miller."

Victoria stared across at the Oceteva man with her brows deeply furrowed as she didn't understand why he would be so interested in her if he wasn't doing it as task for Miguel. However, before the Miller woman could voice her confusion and ask what he meant by that, the brunette nurse immediately picked up on the loud and familiar sound of a motorcycle heading in their direction. Victoria swiftly stood up from the bench at the noise and turned around, where she noticed Angel turning off his motorcycle before he headed towards them with an unreadable expression on his face. Victoria figured it had something to do with the club, so she didn't voice her worry like she wanted. Instead Victoria walked around the bench and exclaimed with a small smile, "hey! You're finally here."

The older Reyes didn't say anything like Victoria was used to when he would show up. Instead, Angel walked straight towards the Miller woman like a man on a mission before he swiftly pulled the brunette nurse into his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around Victoria's lower waist while he glared at the now standing cartel assassin. The Mayans member stood like that for a moment as he ran his fingers across Victoria's waist before he pulled away and glanced down at the watch on his wrist and finally spoke as he exclaimed, "I still have seven minutes to spare, princesa." Angel shot the brunette woman a cocky smirk as he reminded her of their deal before he placed his right hand along Victoria's soft cheek before he pulled her into a passionate and jealousy filled kiss. The Reyes man and the Miller woman finally pulled away from each other once Angel couldn't breath before he uttered loudly enough for the cartel assassin to hear, "come on, mi amor. Let's go home before I take you right here."

Victoria's pale face instantly blushed deep red as she realized that Angel had said that in front of Nestor. The Miller woman didn't know why but she felt embarrassed by the fact that the Oceteva man heard hers and Angel's private moment - even though she and Angel are always very touchy in front of the Mayans and she never gets embarrassed like this. However, Victoria decided to not think about it too much. Instead, she nodded her head in agreement with Angel before she turned around and faced the silent Oceteva man. "It was nice talking with you, Nestor," the pediatric nurse praised with a small smile before she joked, "thanks for the coffee and for making me forget about my shitty car."

A barely noticeable smile lifted onto Nestor's face for only half of a second before the cartel assassin nodded his head and emotionlessly uttered, "you're welcome." Nestor took a couple of steps around the wooden bench until he was standing directly in front of the brunette woman before he murmured softly, "until next time, Ms. Miller." The Oceteva man then turned his attention onto the tense Angel, who was holding a tight grip on Victoria's waist, and stared at the biker for a moment before he finally took his leave into the dark shadows of the parking lot of Santo Padre Medical Center.

The Miller woman watched until she couldn't see Nestor any longer before she turned her attention on the abnormally rigid Angel Reyes. "Hey," Victoria softly uttered as she placed her warm hand on the biker's cheek before she worriedly wondered, "are you okay? Did something happen with the club?" The brunette nurse knew that Angel was usually tense when something was going on with the Mayans, so she figured that was what was happening right now.

Angel silently shook his head as he assured the brunette woman that nothing was wrong before he grabbed Victoria's hand from his cheek and placed a soft kiss onto her palm. "The club is fine," the Reyes man promised before he explained after he took a quick glance at the direction the assassin had went, "I just don't trust the cartel - especially around you, princesa." Angel then wrapped his arms tightly around Victoria's waist once again before he stated with his lips only a few centimeters away from Victoria's, "I just want to spend the rest of my night with my favorite girl."

A bright smile instantly lifted onto Victoria's mouth at Angel's cheesy words before she closed the distance between them and placed her soft lips against the Reyes man's rough ones. The kiss didn't last as long as the first one before Victoria pulled away with a a step back after she murmured a soft, "okay." The Miller woman shot Angel a small smirk while she headed towards his motorcycle as she called out when she didn't hear the loud footsteps of his boots, "come on now, Mr. Reyes. I think I owe you something."

Angel shook his head in amusement at the pediatric nurse as he mumbled to himself, "you're just something else, Vic." The Mayans biker then quickly jogged towards his ride and the brunette beauty as Victoria's words sparked that excited part of him that was on full display when he had first got her call at the promise of his reward. Once Angel reached his motorcycle, he quickly jumped on his ride and started it up before he left the hospital in the dust as he and Victoria rode through the dark and calm streets of Santo Padre.

The Reyes man and the Miller woman ended up taking a detour, thanks to the pediatric nurse begging for a chocolate milkshake from Nookie's Diner, so the usual fifteen minutes to Victoria's house from her workplace ended up taking thirty minutes. However, Angel didn't mind the wait as he loved when he got to be the reason for the smile on the brunette woman's face - plus the sex was always better with all the waiting and needing.

The Miller woman let out a groan once she swung her legs off of Angel's motorcycle after he parked in her driveway as her body was sore from her long shift at the hospital along with riding on the bumpy ride through town. However, Victoria knew that it was just her body that was reacting to a long day and that she wasn't actually tired. The brunette was very thankful for that as she knew Angel was about to make her even more sore by the way that he had been whispering to her at the diner that immediately got her worked up.

"Hey," Angel called out, which instantly brought Victoria out of her aroused thoughts. Once the older Reyes had the pediatric nurse's attention, he pointed his head towards the house and explained, "I'm gonna make sure all the doors and windows are secure around back real quick." It was Angel's usual routine when he would stay the night at Victoria's house - which was almost every single night. The biker was still cautious and careful when it came to Victoria's safety after the Dogwood incident.

Victoria nodded her head with a soft smile as she murmured, "okay." The Miller woman then grabbed her purse from the compartment on Angel's motorcycle before she headed up onto her large and white porch. Once Victoria had walked up on the stairs, she began to dig around in the pocket of her light blue scrub top before she found her keys. The brunette woman smiled once she found the right key out of the set before she looked up towards her front door. However, before Victoria could unlock the door and enter her house, she noticed a small black box leaning against the threshold of the entrance.

The Miller woman furrowed her brows in confusion as she didn't understand why she was receiving a package when she had checked the mail after she dropped off the groceries and alcohol this afternoon and this was definitely not waiting for her. Victoria shrugged her shoulders as she couldn't come up with an explanation before she picked up the package from the step in front of her door. The Miller woman carefully opened the square and thin box, where she instantly noticed the small dream catcher that she had been gazing at earlier in the day.

Victoria stared down at the dream catcher with her brows furrowed even more than they originally were as she couldn't understand why this would be here when she didn't mention it to anyone. It sure is beautiful, the brunette woman couldn't help but to admire the feathers and beads on the dream catcher as she lifted up the item from the black box. However, before Victoria could inspect and admire it even more, she noticed inside of the box laid a sliver of paper.

'I noticed you didn't get the chance to buy this. I hope it helps to keep the nightmares away.

It was nice to get to know you more, secret skater.

Until next time - N.'

"Wow," Victoria couldn't help but murmur to herself once she placed the note back into the box along with the small dream catcher. The Miller woman was surprised that Nestor had went out of his way and bought the item for her after one evening together of getting to know one another. "You are just full of surprises," Victoria mumbled as she gazed down at the beautiful dream catcher. The brunette nurse felt like every second that she is around the Oceteva man that she sees a different side of him that she had originally judged him for his work with the cartel instead of the man that he actually was, who loved to paint and joke around.

"Hey," the Reyes man uttered as he interrupted Victoria's thoughts about the head of security for the Galindo cartel while he loudly trotted up the steps of the porch with his heavy combat boots. Angel glanced over Victoria's shoulder to see what she was holding before he curiously wondered after placing a soft, feather-like kiss onto the brunette woman's neck, "who's that from?"

The Miller woman quickly placed the lid back onto the box when she heard and felt Angel behind her before she turned around in his arms and partly lied as she didn't want to start an argument that she knew would come if she told Angel the truth about the fact that it came from the man that he seemed to dislike lately, "oh, I ordered a dream catcher during my lunch break this afternoon." Victoria shook her head with a small chuckle, "I totally forgot about it." The Miller woman then stuck the small box into her purse that was hanging off her right arm and pushed her thoughts of Nestor along with his kind act to the back of her mind before she shot Angel a large smirk and asked as she brought her arms around Angel's neck, "now, what is that you want me to do for you, Mr. Reyes?"

A large smirk instantly lifted onto Angel's lips when Victoria mentioned the deal that they had before he surprised the brunette woman by quickly bending down and lifting Victoria up by her thighs, which immediately caused the pediatric nurse to wrap her legs tightly around his waist. "Espero que no vayas a trabajar mañana porque estarás muy dolido cuando termine contigo, cariño,"[”I hope you don't have work tomorrow because you will be very sore when I'm finished with you, sweetheart,"] the Reyes man whispered into the shell of Victoria's ear once he opened up the front door of her house before he began to walk towards Victoria's bedroom with no intention of leaving anytime soon.

Victoria couldn't help but let out a loud giggle as Angel carried her around the house until she felt her back hit the soft material of her king sized bed. The Miller woman watched as the Reyes biker swiftly shed his Mayans kutte onto the chair behind him before he removed his white v-neck shirt with arousal in her hazel eyes as she admired Angel's tattooed and chiseled chest. This is the perfect way to end a long night, the brunette nurse thought as her mind instantly erased her conflicted thoughts of Nestor, who was supposed to be the enemy in her life, along with her shitty, broken down car that originally had put a damper on her mood. Instead, Victoria's thoughts were solely focused on the attractive man in front of her as Angel brought her into a fierce and passionate kiss that definitely would be only the beginning of their lustful night together.

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