#i cant even enjoy the dads if that happens

[sea-owl]

Me after seeing the new trailer for Kung Fu Panda 4:

[skunkes]

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[bitchfitch]

somebody shoot me with a gun until I am dead before I write the first chapter of that pirate thing for like. Genuinely the eighth or ninth time.

[vampyrluver]

I love my brothers so much i want to protect them all wasaaa

[iightwoodbane]

"how can you celebrate halloween/enjoy anything when there's atrocities happening around the world" is the new "there are kids starving in africa"

[littledeadling]

I can’t watch the new mandalorian trailer I’m still so burned by the shitshow ending of TBOBF 💀💀💀 long rant in the tags sorry please don’t mind me

[formulafics]

★ MINI…ER LANDO: PT. 3 | LN4

Scenario: in which lando and his wife reveal her pregnancy to the world. in this part, baby norris is officially born!

Pairing: lando norris x fem!reader

A/N: this is technically the last part, but don’t fret, dad!lando will appear in future content! i love this little series so much and i hope you guys have enjoyed it too

PART ONE | PART TWO

requests are open for smau’s | check pinned for more info!

lando.jpg

liked by ynnorris, danielricciardo, charles_leclerc, alex_albon, and 162,542 others

lando.jpg home feels a lot homier with baby norris around.

view all 3,423 comments

ynnorris who’s cutting onions and why are tears streaming down my face. i love my little family so much ☹️❤️

⤷ landonorris i love you mama

⤷ formulaleclerc LANDO CALLING YN MAMA 💔 i’m weeping

rizzciardo DID DANIEL AND CHARLES MEET HER? I HAVE TO KNOW

⤷ ynnorris not yet, but soon :)

norrisnation the second picture oh my god 😭 this is so precious

papayabull IM GONNA CRY

ynnorris

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 267,892 others

ynnorris apologies for being gone for so long, but i have returned and i can’t believe it’s been 6 months already 😭 as you can see, baby norris - 1, lando - 0

view all 2,326 comments

landonorris i cant wait to see you this weekend. i miss you and baby

⤷ ynnorris i miss you ☹️❤️ i’m sure baby misses you too

danielricciardo I MEET HER THIS WEEKEND

norrisnation i missed yns post so bad and didn’t even realize it

rizzciardo yn stays giving us lando content and i will forever love her for it

⤷ piastrisgirl literally. she’s been feeding us for years

ynnorris

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, pierregasly, alex_albon, carmenmundt, charles_leclerc, and 198,345 others

ynnorris it happened - baby norris faced danny ric. join us next week for baby norris vs charles leclerc!

view all 1,456 comments

leclerclover i need charles and baby norris IMMEDIATELY

rizzciardo NOOO THE LAST SLIDE HURTS I LOVE DANIEL

danielricciardo baby norris is pretty swaggy if you ask me. all thanks to her mom, her dads a loser

⤷ landonorris okay daniel. you’re never seeing my child again

⤷ danielricciardo i meant to say thanks to her parents, my bad. her dad is definitely super cool and swag

norrisnation the second picture :( lando is so cute

⤷ ynnorris he is pretty cute isnt he?

⤷ formulasainzzzz YN RESPONDING OH MY GOD

supermaxmaxmax if this isn’t my future what’s the point?

formulaleclerc PLEASE GIVE US THE CHARLES AND BABY NORRIS CONTENT

⤷ ynnorris will do 🫡

[charlietheepicwriter7]

Danny and Damien are twins au, but a slightly redeemed vlad makes Danny the CEO of Vlad Co and DALV and all his other shell companies. Danny is danny, he got pushed into this against his will and is very overwhelmed by CEO duties, so he reaches out to one of his father's sons, Timothy Drake-Wayne, for advice

-------------------

So, danny definitely knows his heritage in this au. He was the spare to Damien's heir, and while their relationship was strained by the constant competition, they still love each other, even when Danny started to show more proficiency in infiltration and subterfuge than assassination. Damien and Danny have a huge fight before Danny leaves, with Damien swearing to never forgive Danny for his betrayal, while Danny is like "what betrayal??? I just cant bring myself to kill someone outside of self-defense??"

(One of the things I hate about Danny and Damien Twin AUs is this depiction that, just because (usually) Danny is unwilling to kill, that makes him weak and a traitor. You think the medical staff in the LoA are assassinating people? Or the lawyers? He's not useless, he's just not good as an assassin)

He was sent to the Fentons at like... seven? eight? to study how the Fentons are purifying lazurus waters from Jack and Maddie, both of whom are partly sponsored by the League of Assassins. He's also learning more about spying from Jack, surprisingly, because no one would expect him of being a top tier spy. He has the occasional mission as a child, but it's mostly shadowing Jack to learn how to spy.

Danny sends letters to both Talia and Damien regarding updates on his training and the Fenton's research, but after a year of no reply from Damien, it's only to Talia. He's feels super hurt by this, and abandoned by the LoA, but the Fentons are kind and familial, and Talia visits once a year. She's unwilling to risk visiting more often, lest she risk getting the JL or the Spiders attention, but sometimes she even manages to visit on his birthday!

(Meanwhile, Talia starts sending birthday assassins to kill Damien so she can spend their birthday with Danyal. She's a really hot and cold mom.

Talia: You can choose me, and have a birthday dinner. Or you can choose your father and have a birthday assassin. You're choice. )

When Slade blows up the LoA, Danyal is given permanent orders to remain as Daniel Fenton until Talia, and only Talia, brings him back to the League. No missions and only one letter every six months. But when Ra's comes back to life and the League is back in power, Talia... never tells Danyal. Because she's seen how happy Damien is being a normal child with their father and wants that for Danyal too. Plus, she wants to continue to have a good relationship one of her children, sue her bruce.

So Danny is completely convinced that the League is mostly gone other than his mother, her zealots, and knows that his brother is living with their father. and he's... relieved. His brother is safe, and his mom told him their grandfather was avenged, so Danny can just enjoy his life. Which he does.

He sends out his six month report days before the portal accident.

Canon stuff happens until Danny is sixteen and Vlad, the fruitloop, steps down as CEO and strong-arms Danny into becoming CEO in his place. Jack and Maddie (who at this point know [or have always known in Jack's case, adn Danny didn't appreciate his dad using his his poker face against him like that] about Phantom) are thrilled.

Vlad is using his "foster son" (Dark Danny, but in this idea, he's Dante Masters) as an excuse as to why he's stepping down, since Dante needs all the attention he can give as a "troubled youth". Danny secretly hopes Dante kills Vlad in his sleep, but signs the papers away.

And there's so much work.

Danny has some idea of what he's doing (Vlad co is a tech company and DALV is weapons manufacturing, plus vlad gave him a crash course on CEOing). Sam and Tuck even help! But he wishes there was someone who could understand the pain of being a CEO while still a teen. But... his father's son, his brother, is one such person. And even though the other would never know, he really wanted to get to know his other siblings. So Danny reaches out for advice to Timothy Drake-Wayne.

Tim is immediately on guard when this Damien clone walks into his office claiming to be the new Vlad Co CEO. The clone acts nothing like Damien, but he still thinks this Danny Fenton is a league plant.

His paranoia doubles when Damien freaks out and confesses that A) Danny is apparently his twin brother and B) that he's been with the League of Assassins this whole time. Damien, who really doesn't want to admit that the reason he forced himself to forget his brother was because said brother didn't want to kill people, says "Tch. I didn't want to associate with the likes of him, so I put him out of my mind." Tim now believes that he's dealing with a master assassin with a huge grudge against Damien and Danyal showing no signs of malicious or aggression in their meetings only convinces him that Danyal is a master actor too.

Which, Danyal is a master actor. But all that other stuff is just Tim reaching.

[onskepa]

Hi! I was just wondering how would Spider be like with Little Mama? Would Neytiri see Spider differently as well as she has a human mate?

Helloooooooooo! So I am going to make this a part 2 of Pinnacle motherhood. I be breaking my own rules on this but it still counts as a mother's day special. So sit back, relax and enjoy!

Pinnacle motherhood

------------------

Pinnacle Protection

It is a well known fact that small mama will care for any child. No matter who or what. Spider Soccorro is no different. 

When she first met spider as a baby, she thought he was cute. His little chubby cheeks, wide innocent eyes, bright smile. A little angel. 

When she learned who his parents were, especially his father. Things slightly shifted. Once the information reached Jake and neytiri, opinions and sides were formed. 

Neytiri began to hate spider from the start once she learned of his blood lineage. Wouldn't listen to reason, wouldn't care to see anything beyond the demon that ruined everything. All she ever saw in spider was his father. Which began to cause some problems. 

So small mama did something she thought she would never do behind her mates. Hide a secret. What is that secret? Visiting baby spider as often as she can, almost every day. When she isn't needed, or when neytiri has it covered on the children, small mama would make some excuse to leave and see spider. 

The more time she spends with spider, the more in love small mama gets. Spider has seen her enough times that he gets so excited to see her, hear her voice. Would shriek and shout, wiggling around to get her attention. 

In spiders mind, small mama is his real mama. Would at times accidently call her “mama”. Small mama wouldn't dare to correct him. Why would she? Spider needs someone to look after him constantly, the other humans are too busy to properly care for a child. 

So she unofficially adopts spider. Though she knows that at some point, small mama will have to tell her two mates. That is something she dreads, unsure how they will react to such news. Especially neytiri. 

When the secret was revealed, there were many things small mama was prepared for. Neytiri remaining silent for days was something small mama was not prepared for. Not even jake. 

After long weeks of silence from neytiri, she demanded some private talk with small mama.

On purpose small mama would bring spider with her. 

They would talk, disputes and all the common things that would happen. But by the power of spider’s cuteness and small mama’s  wise words, neytiri had come to accept spider. 

With time and patience, small mama made sure to close the gap between the two, in giving spider the love and the family he deserved, and helping neytiri overcome her fears and trauma. 

As spider grows, the dynamic changes. 

Despite the other sully siblings being close to their small mama, spider holds small mama in a specific spot in his heart. 

Yes spider loves his two other parents. Jake is a wonderful dad, the best he could ever have. Neytiri is strong, strict yet shows her way of showing love to him. Small mama is the one who understands him on a human level. 

Spider sees himself as the ultimate small mama protector. He proves himself time and time again. Yes it makes his other siblings be a bit jealous but haters are gonna hate. 

Small mama love spider as much as she loves the rest of her children. She has no favorites. It is just that each child needs different kinds of affection, love, affirmation, and so on. 

Spider is the type who needs constant praise, hugs, and physical love. He is confident in his skills, but it is good to have his family back him up in positive ways. 

The times neytiri and jake spend alone time with spider, small mama cant help but feel happy and proud at seeing how far they have come along. Spider is a sully through and through. And to hell with it, small mama will make sure spider knows every damn day.

Aaaaaaaaaaand that is it for this one! Hope you all enjoyed it! Until next time! See ya!

[world-of-aus]

The Arrangement - Prologue

Pairing: Mobboss!Bucky x Reader

Chapter Warnings: None.

Authors Note: Any and all writing errors are my own. Am I going to attempt a mobboss, arranged marriage series? Yes. Will I give this series my all? Also yes! I hope yall enjoy this prologue, more to come soon 🤍

Your sister called off the wedding. Come home now.

“Mother please sit down,” you plead, watching her pace the carpet in your fathers office, “you’re going to worry yourself sick, surely she just caught a case of cold feet its going to be alright, she’ll come around you'll see, she’s done this before – she knows how important this union is for both our families.”

Your mother stops in her stride head snapping to you her eyes turned to slits, desperation hidden behind the anger in her eyes. “Your sister went to Winnifred Barnes herself this morning, told her she could no longer marry her son didn’t even give a valid reason as to why, no actual explanation and then what does she do? She up and leaves town, hasn’t answered a single call or text from me or your father even her ex-fiancé cant get a ahold of her. And what’s worse is we didn’t even find out from her, this information came from Winnifred and let me just say – she wasn’t pleased this isn’t just a case of cold feet.”

Trying to be the voice of reason you go to reassure your mother, “this a big event in her life mother, she’s to be handed off in less than a week for a merger that’s been written in the stars for years now between two families ours and the Barnes. You must give her some grace, she’s overwhelmed, she’s probably scared, her life is going to change drastically in less than a weeks a time. She knew – no she knows how important this merger is for both families, she wouldn’t do this she loves him.”

“But she did sweetheart,” your father speaks up a weak and tired smile on his lips, “and as much as you want to come to her aide, there is no defending your sisters actions. We’re even lucky that Winnifred has agreed to give us a chance to right her wrongs.”

“That’s great, we can buy ourselves time! I’ll change her mind, make her come home.”

Your father shakes his head, “we’re out of time sweetheart.”

“No, just give me a chance to talk to her, talk her off the ledge, I’ll even reach out to Winnie.”

Your dads shaking his head again, your mothers pacing stopped as she moves over to you, “there is no more time sweetheart,” your mother murmurs as she takes the seat next to you, her hands reaching for yours, “they no longer see your sister as an option for this marriage.”

You suck in a breath, “but that means –“ your fathers expression is enough to confirm your suspicion.

“You’re to be married to James Barnes in a weeks time.”

You forget how to breath, “No. No. We can – I can.”

“I’m sorry sweetheart.”

Those words are the nail in the coffin, neither your mom or your dad stopping you as you bolt from the room. As you race down the hallway you rip your phone from the confines of your coat getting your sisters contact open.

“Tell me where you are, I can come to you – we can fix this.”

“I can’t do this. I love you all so much, but I just can’t. I’m sorry, please understand.”

“I know you’re scared, but you won’t be alone I promise, please just tell me where you are lets talk about this.”

Free MSG: Unable to send message—message blocking active.

“No. No. No.” You breathe pressing the call icon bringing the phone up to your ear. Your curse when you’re automatically forwarded to her inbox .

“Please don’t do this, they want me to marry him, I cant do that to you, to him, please!”

Free MSG: Unable to send message—message blocking active.

No. No. No.

This couldn’t be happening, this wasn’t part of the plan, this wasn’t part of the plan.

It was supposed to be her, not you.

He wanted her, not you.

[bigassmoonchild]

night team here

can we request ghost with a daughter that is the mini verison of him like soap thinks shes gonna be sweet and nice and she bullies him worse than her father does

bonus points

price already knew ghosts daughter was a complete savage but soap annoyed him that morning and price decided the consequences of his actions was being brutally roasted

(daughter is gonna be leaning teens just bc i said so. also, thank you so much for the request!! love the night team 🫶🫶)

soap wasn’t supposed to know. this wasn’t something anyone was supposed to know, but simon was decently okay with price knowing. price knew to keep secrets, hell, price had his own.

but simon accidentally let it slip.

‘i’ve gotta get home, early morning,’ he’d told the 141 when they wanted to go out for drinks after a successful mission. they gave him odd looks (one of them was a knowing one, but he’d ignore price being offered to come watch a recital).

soap didn’t let it go, no he didn’t. ‘got the missus waiting back there?’ and simon was exhausted, it was a long mission and all he wanted was to sleep in his own house.

‘kids got a recital,’ he’d muttered and had walked away. what he didn’t expect was to find a huge amount of messages from soap the next morning. most consisted of the same things.

kid??

who’d have a child with you??

what’s the mother look like?

what’s the kids name?

son or daughter?

maybe i wanted to come watch too

i’m technically their uncle

and simon had to leave, collected you from your grandmother and took you to the recital. you were beautiful, the pride and joy of his life. someone he’d never thought he’d ever had, someone he never knew he could love more than anything.

it took months for simon to wear down enough ti even allow any of them to see a picture of you, let alone know your name.

‘beauty, that one is. you sure she came from you?’ simon shoved soap off the chair for that comment. soap continued to rave about being an ‘uncle’ and as much as simon didn’t want it, he had to tell you.

you looked at him weird when he admitted he’d spoken about you to the 141. you knew, generally, what he did but you didn’t get details.

‘ok and?’ you’d asked. ‘what’re they gonna do? it’s not like they’re gonna do something behind your back, not like price has said anything,’ and he worried. maybe he coddled you a little, but you were his girl.

and you’d agreed to meeting them, but told simon you didn’t want to know when. ‘i’ll be thinking about it too much,’ you told him.

simon finally dropped a few names for you, late one night when he’d finally relaxed with some whiskey (he didn’t mention the watered down taste).

‘what kinda name is soap? he drop it or something?’

it took some time before simon had grown any sort of comfortable letting anyone but price be around you. it wasn’t common that you stayed by price when simon was out on a mission, but the occasion happened when it was possibly a fatal one.

it was early morning when you’d sent a text to simon, he hadn’t meant to go to the compound at all that day but had made a lunch. it was a picture of the lunch, still sitting in the fridge with the caption ‘you forget something?’

and he’d groaned, mentioning to price in passing that he forgot his lunch at home. soap and gaz had been there, and a little smile came from soap.

‘just have the lass bring it ‘round, i’m sure she’s dying to meet her uncles,’ price gave a little grimace. ‘what? she’s probably a sweetheart, i cant imagine a girl like her would turn out like ghost,’

you’d relented to bring it around, especially after price messaged you about soap not being able to shut up about meeting you.

he’s pressing me for information. -john

if you bring the food, i’ll give your dad an extra day of leave. -john

please, i’m about to make him run. -john

you always laughed a little when he signed off after each text. it was his own little thing, and you secretly enjoyed having a fatherly figure text you more than three words.

when you got to the compound, you found price waiting outside for you and you waggled the bag of food at him. he let you in, guiding you through the halls to where simon and the others were.

‘try not to forget it, next time,’ you told simon. he gave you a small grunt, one that sounded like his ‘thank you’.

soap walked up to you, giving you a cheeky grin and swinging his arm around your shoulder. ‘how’s it been, lass?’ he asked you and you shook his arm off.

‘you know it’s not the 80’s anymore, right?’ he blinked at you. snorting softly with an eye roll, you sat down in the nearest chair. ‘mullets back in style, you know. might fit you better,’ you commented.

soap was left with his mouth open, gesturing faintly to you then to simon. ‘she can’t be like you,’ he nearly hissed.

‘don’t act so surprised, she said damn near the same thing to me,’ price lamented, thinking back on his first time meeting you.

‘you from the 1800’s? christ, i haven’t seen anyone willingly have that beard,’ you’d told him oh so long ago.

you looked around, leaning towards him. ‘who else am i supposed to be like? i’m pretty sure he’s my father,’ you hissed back.

all soap could do was blink. a little ghost? no, he couldn’t believe it. he saw simon give you a little fist bump, almost saw a few dollars being passed between you two.

simon pulled his mask off to eat and you looked at him closely. ‘you get a haircut?’ you asked, squinting your eyes suspiciously.

‘nope,’ he responded. ‘got ‘em all cut,’ and you snorted a short laugh. soap couldn’t do much but watch the interaction, realization slowly settling in.

‘that’s why you tell those shitty jokes?’ he announced. ‘you’re actually a father telling dad jokes,’

you gave a little smile and he could see the admiration in your eyes. god, you were just like your father but the confidence came off of you so easily.

‘yknow he came to my parents job show and tell once,’ you told everyone and simon stared at you. almost daring you to finish. ‘he didn’t take the mask off and had to leave, he scared too many of the kids,’

you spoke so fondly of him.

‘but he’s a prick, so he just left,’ simon lightly kicked your leg and you made a big show of it. you might be his kid, but you had your own personality in there.

and simon would be dead before anyone took that from you.

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

[pierregazly]

to live for the hope of it all ꨄ charles leclerc smau

charles leclerc x fem!reader

pic credits: pinterest

link to part 2 | link to part 3

this is my first time ever doing a smau so pls be kind!! i hope you enjoy, and my requests are open for both smau and regular fics if interested!! this ends on a bit of a bad note, so if you're interested in a part 2 please let me know :)

yourusername

tagged charles_leclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 398,432 others

yourusername in honour of 22 years of friendship, and hopefully many more ♡

view all 5,691 comments

username "of friendship" gurl enough

username do they think we're oblivious...

charles_leclerc can't wait to reminisce when we're old and grey 💗

yourusername the retirement home won't know what to do with us

username literally screaming crying n throwing up... just admit you've been together for years PLS

arthur_leclerc why don't i get posts like this... there are photos of you literally holding me as a baby?

yourusername i text you on our friendiversary every year?

yourusername

liked by arthur_leclerc, mercedesamgf1, mickschumacher and 299,456 others

yourusername oh monaco... how i will miss you and the breakfast views

view all 2,995 comments

username you're leaving monaco????

yourusername i was offered an opportunity i just couldn't pass up!

username this MUST be why her and charles' friendship blew up... she's been one of the most consistent things in his life for 22 years he prolly doesnt know how to react

username so he made her leave the paddock in tears over it the other day?? lol

mercedesamgf1 our croissants may not be as luxurious but we promise you won't regret it for a second

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55, arthur_leclerc, and 2,388,401 others

charles_leclerc everything has changed but monaco will always be ours

view all 10,985 comments

username girl this is so y/n coded

username god pls just kiss and makeup i cant survive with mom and dad not at least being friends

username it actually makes me so sad to not see yourusername in his likes... like 22 years of friendship and things are just gone?

username friendships end all the time... but we don't even know what happened people need to stop speculating

arthur_leclerc yeah we all know who to blame

username 👀 spill the tea

yourusername

tagged mercedesamgf1

liked by mickschumacher, mercedesamgf1, arthur_leclerc and 501,209 others

yourusername everything has changed... and for the better. can't wait to begin this new journey of my life, even if i do have to get used to all the rain in england :(

username girl WHAT is going on

username can these two stop subposting each other and make up like second-hand embarrassment girl

liked by arthur_leclerc

mickschumacher please only post my good angles

yourusername mick you don't even have a bad angle get out of here

username omg do we think she's the new mercedes admin?? there was that posting a few weeks ago for a manager of media relations or w/e??

yourusername has posted a story

liked by mickschumacher, mercedesamgf1, arthur_leclerc and 5,421 others

yourusername has unfollowed charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc has unfollowed yourusername

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

Ding dong, here’s the final chapter! I have an epilogue in mind so that may come later, but for now, Thanks  so so much for the response to this series and Enjoy!

Ch1 Ch2 Ch3

[talking] [talking passes]

Gai: You knew right away, didn’t you? Kka: Correct. I knew something was wrong when you weren’t trying to do situps or anything..... You little criminal, who smuggled that in for you? Gai: Naruto

Kks: How did you get him to do that? /I/ cant even get Naruto to do things. The tear tracks and shit eating grin are cute. Kinda wanna kiss you. Gai: Don’t let me be a hindrance to-

Gai: What are you giggling about? Kks: I just remembered

Kks: I get to hold over your head that I held mirai before you. Gai: You what?! Your first baby hold and I missed it? Get off of me Kks: So mean! Near death made you crabby. Gai: I won’t give into this Kks: You will, you always succumb. [gai sighs annoyed]

Gai: [Groans] When are they making you swear in as hokage? Kks: That’s not happening anymore thankfully. Gai: Huuuh?? Tenzou didn’t tell me that!

Gai: He said Lady Tsunade was retiring and you were the only choice. Naruto even tried to- Kks: Where do you think i’ve been all day? I convinced her to hold out until Naruto or whoever  took over next. Gai: How did you smooth talk that one? Kks: I agreed to do her paperwork and cover for when she needs R&R. I also advised her to ditch the elders so she can actually run this shit show right. Gai: And they... took that well? The elders? Kks: No, not at all. Let’s just say I said some... things that made them backtrack on their decision.

Gai: YOu cant just say that and not tell me now!! I gotta know! Kks: Well... Homura: Absolutely not! Kks: If I am appointed, I’ll be replacing you regardless. Naruto certainly will. It’s inevitable. Koharu: Those kids don’t know how this village runs!

Kks:Those kids just won your war and this is how you speak of them. Or are “those kids“ only respectable to you when they’re eager to die at your beckon call and shut up. Elders: How dare- Watch your tongue! Kks: I won’t be someone who you can walk all over. Things will change. Just so my intentions are clear

Gai: What next?! Kks: That’s is really. Kinda tuned the rest out and passed out for 3 hours. Gai: Rival, I was so invested Kks: Sorry Gai: So you agreed to essentially split the work of a hokage but not publicly take the title? Kks: Mhm Gai: So cool! Apologies, I had just assumes since you were gonna accept last time Kks:[hums] Things changed. Konoha’s not on the brink of war, Tsunade’s still here. The village can breathe and rebuild now.

Kks: After a glimpse of the hassle and public attention the last time, I’m just... Not interested in any of that. I’ve never dreamed or desired to be the hokage. That was always something others wanted /for/ me. So I said no. I know you were happy for me so- Gai: Kakashi

Gai: I’m so very proud of you for expressing how you truly feel. You and tsunade will do amazing work supporting the next generation. Even If you chose to retire today, I’d still be just as proud of you. Also a selfish part of me if happy to have more time with you. [kks huffs]

Kks: I’m proud of you too, y’ know. All your hard work, you’re fucking incredible. Glad my dad made me talk to the cool kid in the green jumpsuit. 2nd coolest shinobi. Gai: Only took 25 years, but I’ve finally caught your eye! Kks: Yup, let’s move in together.

Gai: WHAT?1 Whu-! Kks: I’m fixing up dad’s old house with Tenzou. you should live there with me Gai: Why? Kks: Why are yo suspicious? I’m serious. Space, accessibility for you... I want you around more. Gai: Ok Kks: Ok? Gai: An exciting change is just what my youthful journey needs!! Kks: So yes?

Gai: I would love to share a home with you, Rival [kks giggling] What now?

Kks: Did I just make you succumb, Gai-kun? Gai: When can we have a match next, I need to consensually slap you in the head [kks laughs] Why did you say it like that? Kks: I’m sorry! Your pout looks so cute.... You are still moving in with me, right? That wasnt a joke.

Gai: I’m gonna let you sweat on that one awhile... [whimpers]

Kks: Love you so much, Gai

[gai snoring]

[gai snoring]

[girlboylintjrwi]

Bite me!

Troy tells Lint that she's a vampire. Lint, maybe a little too excitedly, offers a taste of their blood.

edit: this is also on ao3 now

tw/cw for blood

GUYS I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT VAMP!TROY AND FREAKY LINT

A dim light from the ceiling is all there is in the room. Troy’s room. Lint and her hang out in here a lot, since it’s not like his dad is going to bother them. He’s busy working in his office. Even if their sight didn’t make its way over to look at Troy every two seconds, it’d still be too dark to read the words on the page. Troy is watching a top spin on the floor. He’s sitting with his legs crossed, and it looks like he’s got something on his mind. Which is rare for Troy.

Lint didn’t even realize he was staring until Troy spoke up, “Hey man? I think I gotta tell you something, broski. And it’s like, really important.”

Holy steam, is she about to say what Lint thinks he’s going to? Is there finally going to be hope that they might have a chance with Troy Lougferd?

“Yeah, man? What’s up?” Lint replies, although they needed to take a second to compose his thoughts. He hopes their face isn’t too red. Troy isn’t looking at them, it seems like she’s avoiding it, really. He’s fiddling with his hands, clearly nervous.

“So, uh… I’m a vampire. Me and my dad both. Just thought I should tell you, man.” Troy coughs.

Oh. That is not what Lint was expecting. That doesn’t mean he’s disappointed, not at all, if anything they’re just as happy as they would have been if Troy had said that he was into guys. 

Lint wonders what it would feel like for Troy to bite him, and their face is definitely red now. And without thinking, he says, “Oh… That’s awesome man! Do you- do you wanna, like, taste my blood?”

Cog, why did I say that? He’ll think I’m weird! Lint thinks to himself, as if it weren’t already obvious that they’re a strange individual. They’ve been obsessed with Troy for how many years now? And Troy doesn’t mind. It makes him like Lint more, actually.

“Uh- well, broski, that actually sounds- that sounds nice, man. Uh, but like, not in a gay way. You know.” Troy breaks the awkward silence that had filled the room.

She gets up and starts to walk closer to Lint, still sitting in the chair in the corner. Lint feels their heart start to beat faster as he approaches. His hands are shaking from excitement. That really doesn’t help prove his case of ‘not being a freak’, now does it?

Lint’s heart feels like it’s going to explode if it beats much faster than this. Troy’s mouth opens, revealing fangs that were previously not there. Or maybe they were just retracted. Is that how these vampires work? Lint doesn’t care, because this is really happening. This is actually happening and they’re more excited for it than ever.

Troy hesitates for a moment, the tips of his fangs just barely touching Lint’s neck, but in an instant her fangs are digging into their flesh and she begins to drink. It tastes sweet. Troy likes sweet.

And Lint, oh, Lint can’t do anything, and they like it. The second his fangs entered his neck, they felt content. They don’t just like this, he loves this. He can’t imagine a nicer feeling.

Troy’s enjoying the taste of Lint’s blood. Maybe a bit too much. She’s lost track of how much he’s taken, and he knows better than to take too much. Dad always says she’s ‘greedy’ with this kind of thing.

And so he pulls away. Lint is pale in the face, but it seems like he enjoyed themself. That’s good. He’ll probably be fine.

Lint is disappointed that it’s over, but they know that they couldn’t let her drink much longer.

“That was- that was nice, dude! I mean, uh- your blood was, um-” Troy stutters, she never stutters. Why is he stuttering? “Yeah, man, that was nice. Like, really nice, dude.” Lint talks over the other. Ordinarily, they would never talk over Troy, but nothing about this is ordinary, is it now?

Troy’s face is just a shade lighter than his bright red t-shirt, or at least that’s what it feels like. I don’t like Lint, do I? Not like that, right? Troy thinks to herself. He can deal with that later, though. It’s getting late, Lint should probably be leaving soon.

He leads Lint to the front door with a smile on his face, and the second that door closes behind him, the house is silent again. Troy’s mind is all she hears, and all of her thoughts are filled with Lint. He doesn’t know what came over him, but he’d definitely like more of Lint’s blood. Maybe next time, Troy thinks.