#i decided to not explain my thought process for these ones bc they're a little more arbitrary than the ones from my first post

[chutefullofholes]

need more about the bucks' baby micah, headcanons or blurb i want more!!! (please, and when you have time ofc)

for ref

doing this in headcan0ns list form bc im tired from the time zone switch back to the states

the bucks do, as reffed in that blurb, turn the car around from going to wisconisn to go back to wyoming. end up having to get a hotel somewhere for the night so they don't drive more or less 20 hours roundtrip themselves into an early grave. but yeah.

swing josie by gale's sister’s house on the way back to sheridan. don't explain all the details but have to give her *some* explanation when they go from headed them to wisconsin to now suddenly back in wyoming.

maybe don't explain that this baby is her biological sibling right away but just. say that someone they know needs help with their baby, and that they gotta go back because they don't want him to be in the hospital by himself. pretty word salady but they're exhausted and she's five so. it is what is for the time being.

get to the hospital and get scrubbed in to down to the nicu with natalie to go see him. john's head still feels like his head is still in in spin-mode to the extent that he's not really processing everything fully.

but gale sees that itty bitty baby in his little nicu incubator with a little tube in his nose and is just. distraught.

has to sit down after a minute because its making his chest hurt. he just can't fathom how little he is and how he's in *danger* and how connected he already feels to him.

he gets reallll "woowoo" about the fact that he finally brought up wanting another kid to john all of 20 minutes before they got the call about him. feels like he somehow already intrinsically knew about him before he actually knew.

so kinda the reverse of how it was with josie- gale instantly feels bonded to him and john has a little bit of a harder time.

loves him so much already, is worried sick with all the preemie health stuff he's got going on. its just hard to process how fast everything is happening. if him and gale had sat down and decided to go the infant adoption route that'd be one thing.

in that case he'd have a lot more time to work through his hurdles re: being scared of having a baby, of being responsible for someone's life from scratch etc etc. but here he only had the drive back from wisconsin.

calls his mom a lot. calls curt a lot. that helps.

lil guy doesn't have a name for the first week of his life lmao. they just call him buddy and baby boy and then john is sitting up w/ gale one night and asks if he's given any thought to his name.

they land on micah curtis. micah as a riff off of michael the archangel, and curtis after their best friend (:

curt cries when he finds out. sweet man.

john's mom comes out from wisconsin and when she's there at the hospital that's when both the bucks go to gale's sister's house and have to explain to josie- the best they can- the full details.

poor peanut is so conflicted about Everything. has been confused about not seeing either of her dads in the same room for almost two weeks. is excited about having a baby sibling- but confused about why if he's /her/ sibling from her mom why she can't see her mom.

just a lot of Big Feelings, which gale and john handle the best that they can. good dads <3

i think it finally really Clicks for john when micah is doing okay enough that theyre allowed to hold him. looks at that lil guy in his lil nicu baby beanie sleeping on his chest and just. yeah. big thats my son, i would do anything for you feelings.

john gets really into sitting by his lil incubator and reading to him. nice way to bond that isn't super overwhelming. makes gale heart happy to watch. his boyssss.

this is getting super long lmao so ill cut if off here. but i wove micah- and rachel and i have developed a looottt of lore about him as a teenager/young adult (specifically re: him and wyatt- helen's baby with nash/ev's step son). so feel free to come prompt me to yap more!

[adaplayspiano]

Shaun the Sheep Confessions that will get me Crucified

(They hopefully will not this is a joke title)

Having been a fan of the show since ~7 years old, there were many Thoughts I had about the characters that I did not realize were false until much later in my life. Looking back it's kinda funny so I thought I'd share them.

And if any of them make no sense or you're like "omg what is wrong with you?", I do try to explain my processes as I go so hopefully they're a lil understandable

Ok, starting with:

Not understanding how sheep flocks work as a kid (where a majority of the flock is female), I thought that aside from Timmy's mom, everyone else in the flock was male. From what I know this was a semi-common experience for people first watching the show but this was also the breeding ground for a lot of my thought processes later on.

When re-watching the first movie a little later in my life (~15 yo), I gave names to the "background design characters" so I could remember who was who (I did not realize they already had names, no I did not see the credits). Hazel's design was Jerry, square-head twin design was Fred, long-head twin design was Jimmy-Jam, and Nuts was Carl.

You know that season two episode where the fox disguises himself as a ram and all the sheep swoon over him? Not even that made me think "hm, maybe I was wrong and all these sheep are actually female," I legit decided that meant they were all gay (a little odd for an 7/8 year old to think maybe, but I swear on my life it's the truth).

My brother and I used to call Shirley the "big fat round sheep" before we knew her name. Even after we did we still thought she was male because "Shirley can be a guy's name, who are we to judge."

I did not realize Shirley was female until reading a novelized version of the first movie I had where the book described Shirley with she/her pronouns. I was 16.

This was also when I learned Hazel's name after watching Farmageddon for the first time.

I have also misgendered on accident the squirrel from the Netflix season and Ella from Flight Before Christmas (I will never beat the allegations I am so sorry everyone /gen).

And finally, I've mentioned this one before but I thought Shaun and Timmy were brothers.

Being an American fan doesn't help bc we get 0 information about the show over here, so I didn't have much canon info to go on at the time. Thank goodness for websites like TV Tropes.

Thank you for bearing witness as I vindicate myself. :)

[gloomysoup]

Did you seriously just off Steve to an OD or is there another part to that?!

And Eddie hitting Steve in the other fic? Especially pregnant Steve? HELL NO.

okay listen...

first of all, steve is not dead i promise. i currently have 3 total parts up, and there's like AT LEAST one more part to that fic. maybe more i haven't decided yet. i have been working on the next part and it will start to get better soon i swear 🫠

as for the other fic, uhhhh i don't know what to tell you about that one. it was kind of this one off thing i wrote like MONTHS ago that never went anywhere just on a whim yknow like i think it was originally a scene for another draft i have but it didn't really fit anymore and i didn't wanna just delete it bc i liked some of the imagery, like when they're arguing and steve describes it in his head as standing on the cliff. i still liked it even if it didn't fit the characters i'd originally written them as.

and then i forgot about it and i found it the other day and just kinda posted it as a haha idk what this even is kinda post but then it kind of blew up a tiny little bit and a lot of people like it for some reason?? idek man i honestly had no intention of doing anything with it but now i've been playing around with ideas so we'll see ig

although, i appreciate the ask! i don't get many of them honestly and i do really enjoy talking about my work and explaining some of my thought processes yknow it's just fun for me to be able to interact with people more 🤷‍♀️

[praxieuser]

PRAXIE'S SUPER AWESOME SUPER COOL THEORY ABOUT DANIEL BEING IN THE MOB:

because the where the magic awakens discord server seemed to vibe with it, and it's like. a little bit funny.

SPOILERS MAY BE PRESENT! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

as the title says, i thought up a crack theory about the Pages being previously part of / in charge of / otherwise involved in a mob. here is the thought process for how my adhd crack led me down this path:

1.) the headline of the muggle news paper and what it implies

note that the headline is "The Bloody Pages" headlines during the turn of the century were more dramatic, news headlines i've seen are more straight forward if the perpatrators aren't well known. for example: "Father-Son Duo: Mass Heist, Mass Murder" would be what i would expect if the Pages were largely unknown. but they are specifically references by their last name implying the family itself is pretty infamous for this kind of thing. and while i can't quite ascertain this, dad Page and bro Page look like they're dressed in that sort of 20th century gangster style in their picture of them getting arrested: dark coat, dark vest instead of looking like run in the mill burglars with skii masks.

2.) the gravity of their crimes

it's implied that along with a heist, they've committed mass murder. this implies to me that if they killed that much people in one sitting, they either had other people with them OR it was just the two of them but they had firepower, and since this is the UK and not the US, purchasing guns has stricter regulations, especially guns that are something like AK-47s? with the intent of doing harm? the chances are they'll sniff you out.

this to me implies either: they had the power and influence to rally up goons OR they had the money and contacts to smuggle arms

3.) this partially explains kaleena and esme's thing

starting with kaleena, not only does it partially explain her infamy in the wizarding world (imagine, a wizard not only doing magic in front of muggles/to harm muggles but being in a muggle mob?) it also coincides with gridley calling her a world class criminal. maybe she was more underground before marrying daniel's dad, but ended up coming up on the surface as she became more involved in the mob, whichever path, it makes it clear she has experience in criminality

for esme, it explains the "knows more than she lets on" thing she has going on: she knows of her mother's involvement in the mob, but since she was definitely still underage, we can say she was kept farther from it. she probably hasn't seen anything firsthand, but she knows what she knows. we could also say that in general aside from their older brother, the Page kids were kept far away from gang business for there safety: making it so daniel didn't know about the mob

4.) shit i highkey made up but listen that's what you're here for

so then, if kaleena was in the mob, we could say that maybe by the time she had daniel, she decided to be less involved in the frontlines to stay with the kids more since they're a huge vulnerability bc they're in a mob and presumably have a few enemies, but also bc she probably genuinely cared for them. making it so she's very close with daniel, which could explain the strength of daniel's later denial

then we could say that, by the time dad Page and bro Page get arrested, she's old and she's rusty with her magic, since she's been spending most of her time taking care of the kids for a few years, explaining why she gets caught despite being a "world class criminal". but then all daniel would know is his father and brother are the big bad, and his mom just loved them so much she tried to break them out. and since he was still very young, we can say that esme didn't want to tell him the truth bc you try telling your 5 year old brother both of your currently incarcerated parents, one of which is he is very attached to, were mobsters.

and because he's got a whole complex about it by the present time, having The Talk™ with him is even more complicated, especially when esme herself is presumably only somewhere aroumd 17-19 years old and has to juggle taking care of daniel and her own personal struggles brought on by the arrest of her parents

5.) but why doesn't daniel know about the mob in the present time?

could be that he knows his parents are in a mob but doesn't say it bc his whole thing is getting bullied for crimes his family did and he'd rather not pour gasoline on a house on fire, and is under the belief that his mother was there against her will OR that his mother wasn't involved at all, bar her trying to break dad Page and bro Page put of jail.

and thats my delulu corkboard crack theory on why daniel's family is part of the mob. thank you 🚶

[im0utoftime]

JACKIESHAUNA THOUGHTS!!! :3

jackie and shauna are one of the very few ships i think about consistently, due to how complicated both individual characters are separately, and together. Jackie is outwardly seen as popular, confident and quite caring, which further adds to her role as the team captain. she's able to influence others due to her attitude and tries to make light of situations. On the other hand, Shauna is the opposite, while she's still well known due to her part on the team, she can be insensitive, and hot-headed and prefers to keep her emotions to herself. As a result, it eventually boils over and causes her to damage relationships and others in the process of lashing out and leads to quite dire situations occasionally. This is the eventual cause of Shauna and Jackie’s friendship coming to an end, which kills Jackie. I love it.

They both view each other SO differently from how I just said as well, this can be shown in their fight and Jackie's dream (idk what to call it😭) when she dies. during the fight, Shauna goes on about how Jackie doesn't care about her and keeps Shauna in her shadow on purpose. I don't think she could be more wrong about Jackie if she tried. JACKIE LOVED HER SOO MUCH. She states how good of a friend Shauna is, even going as far as to say she's “the best friend she's ever had”. Jackie would have done anything just so that Shauna was happy, she cared so much about her. She views her so differently from how Shauna actually acts to others. While jackie views Shauna as caring and soft in how she acts. EVEN REPEATING THAT QUOTE I PUT FROM THAT LITTLE DREAM SHE HAS. she's not soft to others, only Jackie to an extent bc of how she slept with Jeff behind her back. Even though I believe she feels guilty for it now, she consistently went back to do it multiple times despite the fact she knew it was wrong. Even after Jackie confronts her, she decides to start attacking Jackie rather than saying sorry and apologising. She chooses pride over everything, even her best friend. She left her outside to sleep even though she wanted to apologise but didn't. She cares too much about herself. They're so fucking tragic and I love them but oh my god they make me sick every single time.

Anyways, this is probs not explained well or accurately sorry 😊😊 pls share ur thoughts!!! id love to hear abt what u think :3

[honestmouse20]

Okay, personal thoughts on dragons rising under the cut. Spoilers ahead!

I didn't care too much about Wildfyre going into part 2. she was cool but not really a character I was fully invested in. That is, until her and Kai went on their little quest/mission to get the dragon energy core. They were so Sweet! I loved how Kai had to be the responsible one and how Wildfyre had to learn how to thikn before she acted. They're a really good dynamic and I their relationship growing during this season felt very natrual and good!

Zane! also not one of my favorite characters. But him speaking to a broom with Pixal's photo taped to it got to me okay? I do wonder now where she is.

Mr. Frohicky (idk how to spell things, i've been up all night. give me a break lol) I did Not expect him to return after the crossroads episode back in part 1. He's actually grown on me a lot. It's still kinda weird bc the tone of this show is just a Bit different than previous Ninjago. But it's not bad and I wouldn't hate seeing more of him in the future

Lloyd. God he got so much character develepment this season but especially in part 2! From him trying to do everything on his own to upkeep the Monastary and then finally excepting help, to getting much better at teaching the new ninja. I really loved all the scenes with him an Arin and how their relationship has gone from Arin being a fanboy, to genuine respect and friendship. 10/10

Speaking of Lloyd. What on Earth was all that stuff he saw Again when he acted as the conduit again? I really hope we get more info on those vision in the next season. That's the one big mystery that they havn't really touched on

last lloyd thing, mayeb it's just the angst lover in me, but I really hope there's some kind of conequence to him acting as the conduit. Maybe it starts really draining him or maybe it just makes accessing his power a little harder. I hope they explain it or at least like, mention it.

I'm actually kinda glad they didn't go the whole route of having Nya distrust the Djinn guy who'se name i can't remember lol. It was a nice expectation subversion. Bc my first thought was that he was gonna be evil/ have heard that *she* was the one who tecnically destroyed Djinnjago. I really like that they helped him the way they did and the lesson it taught Sora

Speaking of Sora. I love her. I still fully belive that her power is creation but if it is just 'tech power' i really like how they're handling it. LIke we all Knew it was never Ryu's power she was using but the moment *she* figured that out still felt genuine and deserved because we saw her go through the process of realizing whta was holding her back. 10/10. no notes

Freaking COLE! So him and Lloyd are tied as my favorite charaters bc yee. But holy shit even tho it was 5 am when i got to his episode and i was exhausted. I sat up on the couch and just lost my shit. One, he's still so good at finding people in trouble/captured and deciding he's their protecter. I love him so much. and two. was it just me or was that whole episode so freaking queer coded it isnt funny? Like, even more so than his true potential episode back in S1.

Shipping aside, I really like how on par with his character his episodes were. Even tho they were short and I really crave more about him, they did a good job of leaving just enough questions to keep us interested while also showing us the important parts. Plys the new ability rock monster thing is cool

in that same vein. what the fuck does 'the earth is screaming' mean? hello that shits terrifying? My theory atm is that its' the realms fighting the merge bc it's like unnatural or something. but idk. i would have liked to hear more about that

Zane's car!!!! I own that set and holy fuck it did not dissapoint! At first i was kinda bummed it didn't do Actual spinjitzu, at least I don't think so. But him spinning wildy and saying 'this is adequate' or whatever, is so freaking funny! also it's super fast and looks epic. no notes lol

and Jay! we see him! I'm not really a big jay fan but I am curious what theyr'e gonna do with him next season

and finally, i Really liked all the references to past seasons/events! Even if it wasn't in your face, it was still really nice to be able to see all the pices of the past sprinkled throughout. It was also funny to see Sora being surprised Lloyd is the FSM's grandson. 10/10

If i think of more I'll make another post lol

god i need to re watch the season already

i have SO many thoughts. HOw am i supposed to go to work later and be an adult while ive got these little plastic ninja running through my head at full speed

[xxlady-lunaxx]

I'm sorry for this | {Kokuzan}

Theme: Fluff + Angst 

Note: The stupid wheel chose this to be fluffy angst of holidays and execution so let's see how this plays out 💀 I'm sad bc idk what to write-

Demons usually don't give a single fuck about holidays. They're just stupid days that humans use as excuses to take off of work or school or whatever. Sometimes celebrations that leave them drunk and wasted. Easy prey. But sometimes demons did celebrate them. Although, not exactly celebrate as much as acknowledge. This was one of those times.

It was a silly little holiday. Valentine's day. The one that people meet up, give chocolates and flowers and gifts. Typical lovey-shit. But this time Muzan decided to 'celebrate' it as well, which was extremely unexpected of him. As nearly nobody knew, he was dating Kokushibo, his oldest (if you ignored the traitor Tamayo), strongest, and his personal favorite demon. He didn't know what to do, so all he did was put some nicer clothes on—the ones he had on before were drenched in blood. Then he went in search of Kokushibo. He found him quickly and demanded that the Uppermoon must come with him somewhere. For Valentine's day. Kokushibo agreed. He had forgotten that 80% of the time, people do things with ulterior motives. 

Muzan and Kokushibo traveled for a little, walking and teleporting equally until they reached this one site. It was old. Very old. There was the remains of a building left there, and besides that there were just trees for miles and miles. "Eh, Master, what is this place?" Kokushibo hummed, confused.

Muzan said nothing and just nodded for Kokushibo to keep going. They went inside the pit of the broken down building and sat on these makeshift chairs they made by stacking up the rocks. Then Muzan said, "Kokushibo. Do you trust me?"

"Huh-? Yes, yes I do," Kokushibo said, more confused than ever.

"Good." Muzan pondered how to go through with this when he had an idea. "Okay, uh... Here," he said, holding out some flowers he'd messily snatched on the way there.

Kokushibo took them, surprised. "Oh! Thank you," he said, a small, teasing smile playing on his lips.

Muzan ignored it, feeling slightly flushed. Then he cleared his throat. "Uh.. If you want you can.. have some of my blood? It will make you stronger too," he said quietly.

Kokushibo thought his mind was playing tricks on him. "Really??" he asked.

"Yes. Yes, sure, of course," Muzan said, stumbling over his words. 

Kokushibo waited for Muzan to hold out his hand and drop blood into his mouth or whatever, but it didn't happen. He cocked his head, confused, when Muzan realized he should clarify. He tapped his neck and Kokushibo looked at him, perplexed. "Ah.. could you explain, please?" he asked.

"Oh. Uhm. Just- Just bite my neck," Muzan said awkwardly. He quickly added, "ONLY because I don't feel like puncturing myself. That's it."

"Right, okay," Kokushibo said nervously, standing up. Muzan did as well and then sat on the stone tabler, waiting. Kokushibo placed his mouth on the side of Muzan's neck and gently bit down, drawing blood. He didn't take much and tried to do the least damage, wanting to make sure Muzan wouldn't get angry or something. He quickly sat back down as his body processed the blood that slowly flowed through his veins and strengthened him. He tried not to make a sound as the blood caused pain throughout his body before it settled. Kokushibo looked up and saw Muzan, still on the table, covering his mouth and flushed. 

Kokushibo was confused at this, but said nothing as the pain started subsuding. Muzan continued looking flustered, his face slowly burying in his hands. Eventually, Kokushibo was able to speak again and he cleared his throat. "I.. Thank you, Master," he mumbled.

Muzan nodded slowly and took a deep breath, then slid off the table. He walked over to Kokushibo and promptly sat on the Uppermoon's lap, uncaring of what Kokushibo thought of this. It was certainly a surprise and Muzan's demon was very flustered at this action, not having expected it.

The play of small affection continued through the night for a while. Eventually Kokushibo completely forgot about dawn and only just enjoyed his time with Muzan who was playing his role carefully. Now, only a few minutes till dawn, Muzan said, "Kokushibo.. do you trust me?"

Remembering the words, Kokushibo nodded quickly. "Yes, I do."

Muzan nodded. "Good," he said, the same as before. "Kokushibo, stand here and close your eyes. If you feel warm, it's not the sun, okay? I promise," he said, with so much conviction Kokushibo didn't question this. He just nodded and closed his eyes, standing still.

Muzan nodded then went to kiss Kokushibo but realized he was too short to reach him properly so he went over and stood on a stone. He places his lips on Kokushibo's and then pulled apart. Kokushibo had been surprised by this but smiled at it. 

He heard the sound of scraping stone and figured Muzan was just moving the rocks around a little to get through it more easily. Eventually he heard the sounds of footsteps and they seemed to get a little more quiet with each step. "Master?"

Muzan's voice sounded a little more distant as he called back, "One minute, I'll be ready in one minute. You can open your eyes in one minute, when I say so, okay?"

Kokushibo hummed his agreement and waited. One minute later, he felt a strange sensation. It was warmth, a weird warmth. One he didn't like one bit. He heard Muzan shouting that he could open his eyes. And he did. And he realized Muzan had set him up to.. kill him. The sun rose above him and he went to turn to find a way where he could hide but he found he was surrounded in every other side by rocks, the rocks Muzan had moved earlier. Where there were no rocks was rope tied around to make it harder to climb through them, and above him were more rocks which were tilted in a precarious way. 

"Why..?" he mumbled. "WHY!!"

He vaguely heard Muzan saying, "I'm sorry for this, Kokushibo. But it's for my sake. Besides, you trust me, no?" before he crumbled to dust.

Muzan sighed as he hid from the sun. He did like it, being with Kokushibo, but he couldn't risk Kokushibo turning into Yoriichi, so he did this. He had to. It was a necessary precaution.

He turned away and walked off as if nothing had happened.

{Word count: 1086}

My sister's mad at me for writing this I think 💀 She's shitting on Muzan now- I was saying he used the sun to feel less guilty but she took none of it and said that nobody cares. She just said "Seriously, Muzan, you could've killed him on a different holiday!! Seriously, nobody cares about your stupid fears!! You're literally the worst boyfriend ever!! 🙄" 

I'M LAUGHING THE WAY SHE ACTS SO SASSY WHEN SHE SAYS THINGS LIKE THIS AHAHAHAH

Anyways bye 🫠 I tried but imo I failed at writing this but who cares anymore 😋

watch me just continue to repost my wattpad work on tumblr-

i should stop doing that ngl

[loumauve]

For the Character Ask! Right backatcha while I think on your asks, 17 and 18 for Silga and Untalla!

(in reference to this ask meme)

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

18. What they’d go to see a therapist about

---

gonna drop the entirety of this under a read more bc it's likely to get long with even just the poems (no, I did not leaf through my collection of 15+ poetry books just for this) (also, no songs, sadly, not yet. I'll send you a message on discord tho if I do decide on some in the future)

also, the reason this reply is late is because I wanted to take my time with finding the right songs, but then that never happened because of me losing my mind over Jesse and Emily once again other distractions, so I figured I'd rather get around to it now because I love them and I think about them all the time and I didn't want you to think I was ignoring them

Untalla is a bit hard for me to pin down, so I'm going off vibes here

i never expected death to be my most faithful companion, but she is the only one who will come without having to be asked. - the only one who will never leave (from the princess saves herself in this one by Amanda Lovelace)

This is me, I am the eye of the storm and my heart is a little broken. But if you want me, I'm yours. (from Pillow Thoughts by Courtney Peppernell)

[..] The Grieved - are many - I am told - There is the various Cause - Death - is but one - and comes but once - And only nails the eyes - There's Grief of Want - and Grief of Cold - A sort they call "Despair" - [..] (part of poem 561 from The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson by.. well, Emily Dickinson, my eternally beloved)

Silga is a whole load of grief and longing, if I had more hope-filled poetry books I would have tried to find a hopeful one as well. I think that would suit her, but alas

what do we do with all the things we need to say to someone we'll never see again? - maybe that's why i write (from to drink coffee with a ghost by Amanda Lovelace)

I wish that it were easier for me to explain that you won't really get inside my head for a long time even though I want you to crawl inside my mind as badly as I want to curl up with a flashlight inside of yours and read for hours on end [..] (part of Things I Would Like To Tell You but Probably Won't (At least, not for a very long time) from High Wire Darlings by Kalyn RoseAnne Livernois)

[..] The thing about heartbreak is it feels too big for your body. You become cavernous - A walking Mariana Trench. Nobody knows how deep you go because the pressure is heavy enough to fold bodies into paper cranes and naive enough to call this beautiful. [..] (part of Survivor's Guilt from Wrong Side of a Fistfight by Ashe Vernon)

..and THEM because I love them

I was lying beside you and you had this half smile because my hands were drifting down your spine. And you looked at me and I lost track of everything. Because I realised just how badly I want under your skin. (from Pillow Thoughts by Courtney Peppernell)

[..] Do not dote on me Do not say anything about my eyes when we are watching the stars I will know you adore me by the way you remove the space between us before we fall asleep It will be in your eyes even when you didn't mean to tell me [..] (part of Irromantic from High Wire Darlings by Kalyn RoseAnne Livernois)

[..] Find the pocket of your heartbeat where you keep Forgiveness. We will try again tomorrow - I know you've got a bone to pick with tomorrow, but it's coming anyway. [..] You think you've seen every ugly corner of this whole rotten world, but listen: There is an infinite number of things we don't know and, statistically speaking, at least half of them are probably very, very beautiful. (part of Post-Panic Attack from Wrong Side of a Fistfight by Ashe Vernon)

as for therapy.. oof.

how many hours do they have? lol obviously a LOT of grief counselling, trauma processing for both of them. and maybe they can go to couple's therapy together, even if they're not dating, just to figure out how to best communicate and support each other. and maybe figure out what kind of intimacy is the kind they want and can handle. sometimes it can help to have external structure for those kinds of conversations

[wildflowercryptid]

i already made a post sharing some of my ideas for paldean pokéship names, but i ended up coming up with more! so, here are some more names for the paldean ships i like / find interesting:

katy & tulip — SelfCareShipping

katy & saguaro — SecretSweetsShipping

eri & mela — EstrellaShipping

eri & nemona — BattleStarShipping

raifort & sada — PreservedPastShipping

jacq & turo — FutureTechShipping

[izartn]

Rereading the scholomance series, and on the bit after El and Orion have their first time and wow.

Orion knows so so well there's something incredibly wrong with him, from the way he seems to have been avoiding getting more intimate with El bc he fears feeding on her mana (the implication it was this from the start of his mana starvation on senior year, not just the general risks El fears) to how he breaks down sobbing right after they have sex because she's the only (first) right (human) thing he ever wanted, and he explains he only ever wanted to hunt mals and suck their mana since he was little so he doesn't resent his parents for letting him do that (and he knows exactly what el thinks of that but orion is grateful, bc yeah. mawmouth-boy amalgama he needed it) (and the were desperate to make him more normal, except in golden enclaves we discover they're at fault orion is like this and wow.) and how he knows going fucking nuclear on the Shanghai Enclaves and co who tried to murder El wasn't normal, and that it unsettled El. I love that he remembered that it scared her, bc he doesn't want to, and tht after the incident he thought on it all and decided he didn't want to be that kind of guy.

I mean, getting angry and trying to reflexively retaliate when someone tries to murder you and El (whom he adores) I get it, most of us aren't heroine El Higgins as much as she likes to pretend she isn't, but that scene lasted more than just the moment, El got her giant shield, and then Orion demonstrated he's got a fucking nasty temper and a reflex for going to inflict gruesome violence, after taking the most chilling seconds on book canon trying to process just what almost happened to them both, but mostly El on his PoV. El tried to redirect him like twice and he went back to try very intently to have his chance offing Yuyan, Zixuan and Co, the second one when Magnus came with New York and the rest of allied enclaves thanks to Liesel and wwiii magician versión almost gets off was O.o, until El threatens everybody with mass destruction which brought back Orion to the world of, oh yah my scary girlfriend who could kill everyone in this room including myself is awesome. Dude.

It's the way you end reading all that scene and their conversation almost at the end of the book, and you feel El is not getting what Orion is trying to say, missing that there is something really really wrong with him. Because I think senior year Orion has had no choice but notice all the ways he doesn't make sense, and the way he seems to always need more mana from mals so much he starts looking mad to the outsiders and not caring for anything else (I think it feels to him like executive disfunction in that he gets into a loop of "I should be doing homework x but I can't bc I first need to hunt mals except I can't find any so I'm tired so I can't do anything") , to the point he starts fearing taking El's which almost happens in the library if not for Precious (hello??? rereading that having read the golden enclaves sent chills through my skin, holy shit) and I think he must have noticed by then. Because Orion is simultaneously more observant and more out of touch than he seems on first impression.

Agh no wonder he decides to stay behind and disappear into the void with the Scholomance, I wonder if face to face with mawmouths and his own almost lost of sense of himself to the rush of mal-mana consumption right at the end of The Last Graduate he realiced what he must be and just. Choose it as the only option so as to not go mad and hurt(eat) El. Must have killed him.

No, given The Golden Enclaves I'm sure this is exactly what happened. Orion needs a hug so so badly.

And then he passes that last book lost on the hunger, then goes through a grueling purification to bring back what's left of his sense of self and humanity, with the knowledge that hes more like a mawmouths but back (but still a monster inside) , discovering his mother did this to him after killing hundreds of kids actually, and she may love to get her hands on El and use her (which Orion isn't thrilled about), and the enclaves may go to war in wwiii magic version (this time for real) , and you know, no wonder he quits trying to stay (alive, as a person) a quarter to end or so of The Golden Enclaves.

I love him, I want his perspective on a spin off novella or something after canon, bc it has to be the most weird mix of super transparent and also heartbreakingly sad and heartwarming once you read between the lines, and because I want his super subjective PoV on Galadriel because he loves her so so much in both the adorkable teenagy way and in a "you've saved my life and existence and the world makes sense bc of you" which has to scare them both a bit. Also Orion PoV on the rest of characters now he isn't blinded by the hunger and he can actually interact with others and have interests of his own. Fascinated by his possible hobbies.

[vxnillite]

Khro'a birthday drabble!!!

THIS IS FOR @99-kroi !!! The man who sent me down this path of insanity, and I will be eternally grateful for that.

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY DUDE!!! Just want to say that you're an amazing person, a fantastic artist, and a really fun person to talk to! Really, really glad to have met you and to be able to share all this fun sh*t with you! (I'm a writer, why is my vocab so limited)

Also this is not a ship fic, 100% platonic bc Noah and Khro'a are besties 4 life <33 yippee hAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN KROIIIII

(if there are typos, i'll get back to it. i haven't [edit: HELP ME WHY DID THE REST OF THE SENTENCE DELETE ITSELF I MEANT TO SAY I HAVEN'T PROOFREAD THIS LKSDJFKLSJF])

Sunlight filtered through the wooden planks of the treehouse, shining tiny spotlights on an unusually empty bed.

The owner was in the middle of the room, crouched on the floor. Khro'a whistled as he fixed his travel packs. Today was going to be uneventful, but he'd decided to go flying—didn't know where to, exactly. Khro'a would decide on the way.

He'd just tied up the last pack when he heard an ikran cry. Weird—that wasn't his, though. It cried again, sounding much closer to the treehouse this time. Khro'a had a second to recognize that particular call when—

"INCOMING!!"

Something crashed straight into Khro'a. It knocked out almost all the air inside of him, and, had he not been bigger than the intruder, they would've crushed him.

"Ay, puta—you were fucking right under it! Sorry!"

Khro'a felt himself get yanked up onto his feet, then into a tight embrace. From over the person's head, he processed first the rapidly swishing tail, then the triple braids—one black, two an unnatural purple.

Noah was jumping on their toes as they exclaimed, "Happy birthday, Khro'a!!"

Excitement rose like magma in his chest at the realization. Khro'a grinned and hugged them back. "Noah! I thought you wouldn't be back until a few more weeks?"

Noah pulled away to look up at Khro'a, and their arms went from his waist to his hands. "And fucking miss your birthday," they scoffed playfully, "You think I'm gonna be stupid like that? Of course, I was gonna come home early!"

Finally, confusion arose as well, and Khro'a asked, "How is it my birthday—wait, how are you keeping track of this?"

Fangs bared, Noah giggled through their teeth. "Well, it's been exactly one Pandoran year since you got transferred to your Avatar by Eywa. I did the math some time ago, and turns out your terran birthday happens to fall on the same day this year," they explained, "So, technically, two birthdays!"

It took a few seconds for Khro'a to process, and he chuckled as he did. 

Noah cocked their head to the side. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just," he stifled a laugh, "You really counted all that?"

"What, like it's supposed to be hard?"

Khro'a couldn't hold it in anymore, the affectionate laugh he was caging in his chest. "Spoken like a true nerd."

Noah slapped him on the chest. Their lips scrunched into a pout. "Gago, it's simple fucking math!" Then, infected by Khro'a, they started laughing, too. "Of course, I've been counting. It's your birthday, after all. I keep track of everyone else's, too."

Khro'a let his laughter dwindle down first. "So, it's been a year, huh," he mused. Then, he looked back down at Noah. Their bright eyes looked up at him curiously, waiting on his words. He sighed contentedly, "Thank you, Noah."

Noah's lips curled into a softer, still toothy smile. A little chuckle wisped through them as they pulled Khro'a in for another hug. It said everything that couldn't be put into words.

The moment passed in comfortable silence until Noah spoke up. "Oh, also, I stopped by the village, and I told the entire village and the other RDA people. They're all waiting for you at High Camp."

Khro'a sighed, placing a hand on their head. "Of course you did."

"But you seem to have plans." Noah peeked behind him from under his arm. "Going somewhere?"

"Meh, I wasn't really planning on it," Khro'a shrugged, "I was just bored, so it's a 'wherever the wind takes me' kind of plan."

The reaction to that was somewhat violent, as Noah pulled away only to grip Khro'a's arms, eyes glinting with excitement. Their tail was whipping like a tornado behind them. Teeth that bit down on their lower lip caged their words flimsily. Khro'a had a feeling he knew what those were.

"Go on. What is it?"

"Can I come with you," Noah asked giddily, like a child, "It's been months since we went somewhere together!"

"I don't know~ Didn't you say there are people waiting at High Camp?"

"Yes, and we can go after that! C'mon, don't fuck with me, Khro'a."

Some things just never change, he thought. Then, Khro'a smiled. "Alright, but I really had no plans of where to go. Do you?"

"'Wherever the wind takes us' sounds like a good plan. Now, come on! I'll help you with your things."

Khro'a perked up as if a switch had been flipped in his head. "Wait, Noah, you've been travelling all night—have you had any sleep?"

"Shhh! That's not your problem to deal with, okay?"

"That's not my po—Noah!!"

Too late. They grabbed two of the biggest bags in their hand, jumped up onto a large branch—an exposed structural beam of sorts for the treehouse—then flung themselves through the roof chute. They looked down at Khro'a, jerking their head as if to hurry him up. Fortunately, he'd already followed suit.

Khro'a emerged through the chute mere seconds after Noah did, throwing the other two bags onto the roof as he pushed himself up. With his tail, he flipped the chute door shut. Khro'a put his arm out just in time as he saw a familiar stingbat coming to land on him.

"Hey, Kev!" Khro'a chuckled as the stingbat pecked him affectionately. It shrieked as he scritched its neck. He dug a fruit from one of his bags and gave it to Kev. It cawed gratefully as it flew back to hover over its owner.

Then, the two avatars mounted their ikrans, but before they took off—

"Oh, and Khro'a?"

He turned to them innocently. What he saw was a figure cast in the morning light and a delicate smile. Noah's gaze softened as their eyes met.

"Happy birthday ulit." Their eyes smiled, too, pushing a few tears through the corners. "Thanks for everything. I'll never forget any of it."

[cloudninetonine]

Hello me again. Still trying to fight off sleep issues so I present to you: more Courage, Koridai, and Sprite headcannons. They're kinda long sorry.

____________________________________________

Koridai and Courage alternate nicknames were a little hard for me to figure out since we know so little ab them from the source material, however I have come up with something.

Thought process: The chain's alt nicknames (I'll call them ANNs for simplicity) have been around their occupation before or during their journeys - Champion/Smithy, Sailor/Captain - or have been to do with experience (such as age like 'Old Man', or amount of adventures like 'Veteran').

For Courage, it was a little more to do with after his journey. He becomes Wisdom's partner, which would make him Prince Consort. Hence forth, I propose to you all the ANN: 'Prince'. (Also fits with the design I gave him a bit).

Koridai's ANN was a lot trickier. From the little we get of his actual background from the CD-i games' cutscenes, we only really discover that he's got some relation to the royal family to be so close with King Harkinian (who also shares the name w Courage's King fun fact), Princess Zelda, Impa etc. We know literally nothing about Link. So I improvised a little backstory for him to solve this. If anyone has any better ideas, please voice them to the public, I was struggling.

Essentially, Koridai is from a family of important merchants who control the travel of goods in the kingdom, making them quite close to the Royal family so they can import and export resources across the land, and change trading routes. So basically, my boy comes from status. He got his sword and shield not from the castle, but from his auntie who is the head of the family. She took one listen to the prophecy and gave him this sword and shield made of high-quality metals with that enchantment Hyrule has on his. Might even go a step further and place the games in the timeline by saying it IS Hyrule's sword idk. Anyways all this to say what if we give the ANN 'Trader' or 'Merchant' to Koridai.

Also if we're giving Sprite an ANN, it would be obvious to name her 'Fairy' but that's like nicknaming one of the Chain 'Hylian'. So since she doesn't have a job and basically no prior experience, I encourage you to choose from 'Trickster' if she's more on the mischievous side, or 'Clematis' which is a type of flower I used in her design.

(Fun fact, struggled so much w Koridai, I debated on whether or not to suggest 'Mirror' after the one he gets trapped in in Wand of Gamelon. I decided against it) __________________________________________ Ages are fun! And is also a great way of showing dynamics, personality, and explain any downright tomfoolery. So we're doing that with Koridai, Courage, and Sprite.

Imo, Sprite would rather beat Courage with a stick than admit her age, so its largely unknown. But, since she's fae and (from my research) they live to ab 500-600, I'd estimate she's around 250 years old.

Courage, the absolute fool, is about 14. Generally bc it explains why he's so cringey and stupid, but I feel like he'd be ashamed of it upon hearing that people younger than him have achieved much greater (ie, Wind, Time, Legend, Hyrule etc). He's prob real self conscious ab it so sometimes exaggerates his behaviour to make the Chain think he's younger than he is. Maybe he's even lied about it.

Koridai I'd put at squarely 16 or 17. He's been on essentially 3 adventures by now, 2 where he's needed rescuing, so there's prob a year at least between them. He's cringey but in the way that nightcore kids used to be seen by people in 2010s iykwim. Basically just a whole lot of self esteem issues and helplessness packed into one bundle and hidden away with a cocky attitude and cringey behaviour.

____________________________________________

Again sorry for the length, I seriously can't do anything else atm so I'm hoping writing this kind of stuff will help me get to sleep.

It's okay babes don't worry about it! Whatever helps!

OKAY BUT NOT THE NIGHT ORE GIVING ME FLASHBACKS BABES.

Also loving this headcanons, love your iterations of them so much! (Especially the nicknames, got me thinking of what I should nickname them for my own stories- oh well, I'll give myself time.)

[soggyjulpod]

— dating ellie williams headcanons

warnings: minimal angst (also au where ellie doesn’t leave the farmhouse bc you are so amazing that she just can’t leave you)

a/n: i wrote this instead of doing my missing assignments, god bless😩✋🏼 also this was not proof-read so feel free to point out any grammatical errors 

word count: 2.3k

- y’all were good friends before y’all started to date.

- you two met shortly after arriving in jackson the second time.

- you sort of were her first friend and she grew close to you.

- you two get into so much trouble when y’all were younger, you would egg each other on to do the dumbest shit.

- even after you introduced her to other kids y’all’s ages, she still felt a pull to you

- at first she didn’t fully realize what she was feeling for you

- her heart would race when seeing you until one day it dawns on her, holy shit i’m in love with my best friend 

- from then on she would get more nervous to hangout with you one-on-one. and don't get me started on sleepovers, homegirl would be in full blown gay panic having her cute best friend sleep next to her. 

- but it sort of scared her, she was scared that if she told you wouldn’t feel the same and would stop being her friend.

- she became much more protective than she already was, you think it's just ellie being a good friend she’s not doing because she likes you, right? wrong

- when you guys were younger and you would mention that you were crushing on someone she would always find something negative to say about them.

- “i think they're cute.”

- “really [y/n], you could do so much better!” 

- when she reflects on moments like these she realizes that she's liked you for so long without noticing it.

- side note: you were there the entire time she got her tattoo done and held her hand when needed 

- there are definitely moments where she finds the courage to tell you but always backs out.

- instead she would try to drop (not very good) hints:

- she would play the guitar for you, something she only does for joel because she's shy

- draw little sketches of you and show them to you (you would then shower her with praise and that would always get her feeling warm on the inside.)

- and cryptic love poems that she would share to you

- when she finally confessed it was after a dance that you convinced her to go to. you two left a little early, a bit drunk and with arms linked back to her room.

- you two decided to watch a movie, one of the ones ellie had told you about. while you were  fully engrossed in the movie, ellie was busy looking at you, all snuggled up on her side. the alcohol must have given her liquid courage,

- “hey” she said as she nudged you. you tear your eyes away from the tv to look at her. “what?”

- “i really like you, like romantically.” she explains bluntly and gives you one of her shy smiles. you stare at her, trying to process the sudden confession in your drunken brain.

- ellie starts to get worried because you’re not saying anything, “shit i’m sorry, i get it if you don't feel-”

- you shut her up by giving her a quick peck on the lips.

- “i like you too” :)

- needless to say you two went to bed cuddled up next to each other after official becoming an item

- her to-go pet name for you is babe, it’s simple and gets the point across. sometimes she’ll playfully call you dork. and in a more intimate situation she’ll call you baby :)

- as we know ellie is a private person and that with all aspects of her life, including romantic relationships. she isn’t a fan of pda but will not hesitate to hold your hand and give you a kiss on cheek.

- in private all that goes out the window and she’s so affectionate and soft, hugs from behind and neck kisses, she wants those moments to only be between the two of you.

- she’s so whipped for you

- ellie never thought she would like cuddling until she started dating you, she would never admit to it but there’s an unspoken need she has for it.

- speaking of cuddling, sleeping together...

- you used to sleepover at her place frequently before y’all got together but now you practically sleep over every night. 

- she likes to hold you close and feel that you’re safe in her arms. 

- ellie is the big spoon most times but when she’s down and she’s the one who wants to be held. 

- ellie definitely gets jealous, it's part of her nature. it stems from the fear of you leaving her

- like when ellie brought back jesse to the theatre and dina hugs him and starts to talk to him, ellie sort of sulked back.

- please don’t leave this poor gal, she loves you

- she definitely is the type to get clingy and sulk and not be confrontational unless someone is being way to forward with you and flirting

- if that happens she will jump in and tell them to back because you’re her girl

- anyways once y’all were at a dance and you were talking to a mutual friend for awhile and she was feeling a bit left out so she goes up to you,

- “hey babe :)” and gives you a quick peck on the cheek and wraps an arm around your waist, trying to get your attention.

- you just smile at her and continue your conversation.

- and she's like, “hello??? i’m right here, pay attention to me.” :(

- ellie doesn’t say anything but she grabs your hand and starts lightly tugging on it, trying to signal you that she wanted your attention. 

- after a few minutes you say goodbye and leave the dance, not saying a word to her until y’all were walking home hand in hand 

- “what was that el?” you ask her although you already know what had happen, you just wanted to fuck with her

- “just wanted to go home.”

- “go home? or did you just want my attention?” 

- she gets flustered and tries to play it off by shrugging and disregarding your question

- “you could have just told me you wanted my attention instead of tugging on my hand like a little kid” you tease her.

- at this point her cheeks are red from embarrassment.

- “let’s go home then you big needy baby,” you tease wrapping your arms around her and playfully pinching her cheek.

- she cuddled the shit out of you when y’all got home

- now let’s talk out her being protective, a huge fear that ellie has is you dying ofc

- she doesn't want to live a life without you :(

- even when y’all were friends, whenever y’all had patrols together she should make sure that always look out for you

- she does not want to risk losing you so she’s always on her toes just in case she needs to jump in

- now let’s get to the sad shit :,(

- finding her unconscious in that basement damn near gave you a heart attack, for a second you thought she was dead too after seeing joel’s mangled body.

- the night you guys got back to jackson, she cried in your arms for hours. through her sobs she expressed her regret that she didn't attempt to mend the relationship sooner. she hoped that joel died knowing that she didn't despise him. 

- “i wish i could back in time and tell him that i forgive him.”

- she was a shell of her former self, she was so quiet and didn’t get out very often. she didn't sleep much either, you tried to coax her once in a while but she would always wake up screaming from a nightmare that you would consol her from. 

- you were practically glued to her side just incase she had a panic attack

- about month later she decides to go to seattle to hunt down joel’s killer.

- and of course you accompany her

- “wherever you go, i go” :,)

- going to seattle was a life changing experience and it bonded you and ellie together so much more.

- this trip made you love and appreciate each other more than ever

- when abby left after knocking you out and nearly slitting your throat, ellie broke down at the sight of your unconscious body, she realized how much her rage and hyperfixation on revenge she nearly got the love of her life killed. and that you were her life and how nearly she fucked it up. 

- on the way back to jackson, she casually drops that she wants to marry you

- you kind of freeze because it came out of nowhere but you agree that its what you want even though y’all are like 20

- once you two heal from seattle you have a simple ceremony, you ended up finding a sundress to try to mimic what weddings were like before everything went to shit

- ellie nearly cried because you looked so beautiful, “you look like an angel baby”

- there were no rings, only the acknowledgement of two young people in love

- after y’all get hitched, y’all immediately start looking for somewhere to live independently.

- finding the farmhouse was a jackpot and it was only about a mile and a half away from jackson. there's still a sense of security because jackson in so close just in case of an emergency

- it was quiet and perfect for you two. y’all get to live a simple life. 

- so much domestic fluff omg

- lazy and slow mornings spent cuddling

- ellie absolutely loves to call you her wife

- “what's my lovely wife up to?” “hello my beautiful wife”

- so much dancing!! y’all record player is being used so often.

- ellie will spend a lot of time in her studio room painting and drawing. sometimes you come in and read a book just to be around her

- ellie ended up finding a pair wedding rings that conveniently fit you two on one of her hunting trips (thank god for rich people having vacation cabins in rural wyoming)

- she's such a dork when she gives you the ring

- it’s y’alls one year anniversary being married

- you're just casually folding some laundry when you hear ellie call your name from the doorway of your shared room. and this girl is knelt down on one knee and has a ring in her hands.

- “i know i didn't get the proper opportunity to propose to you but here it is. [y/n], i’ve loved you from the moment i set eyes on you and sometimes i can't believe that you gave me a chance but i love you. will you marry me?”

- “i already did you dork” :)

- she has the biggest goofiest smile when she slides the ring on you.

- “look what else i got,” she says and pulls out the matching ring from her back pocket, “we match!” 

- you nearly cry from happiness 

- let’s get sad again, ellie is in a much better place but she's still scarred from everything

- she gets panic attacks and horrible nightmares, you’re always there to calm her down and reassure her that everything’s going to ok

- one time she woke from a very vivid nightmare in the middle of the night and you weren’t next to her, you were outside on the porch getting some fresh air

- her panic and hysteria increased tenfold because she started to think the nightmare she had of you dying was true.

- when you heard wailing you sprinted to your shared room, poor ellie was sobbing because she thought you were actually gone.

- you immediately wrapped her in your arms reassuring her that everythings going to be ok

- between her sobs she keeps on repeating that you’re dead

- “ellie look at me, feel me, everything’s ok, i’m here, just breathe.”

- after that you make sure to keep her within arms length at night

- ellie’s really glad that you’re so patient and kind with her when she gets her panic attacks

- that day when tommy came by to inform ellie on abby’s last known location, you nearly socked him in the face. 

- you two had finally found some peace and routine but tommy had to come and fill her head with nonsense

-that night y’all have heart to heart

- you tell her that you’re done with abby, you nearly lost each other because of her and you're not risking anything anymore. getting married to her closed that chapter of your lives.

- “i married you under the impression that that was over ellie. and we’ve moved on, or at least i have. i love you and i don't want you to leave me and i want to believe that you feel the same.” 

- “tommy’s full of shit, ellie. you don't owe him anything.” 

- ellie would definetly be torn on what to do but once you express your feelings and concerns she realizes that it's not worth it

- she knows she’ll forever be scarred from what abby did, but deep down that need for revenge has fizzled away. ellie’s home and happiness is with you and she doesn’t want that to go away. she knows that if she decides to go to santa barbara she’ll leave you behind alone and heartbroken.

- so fuck you tommy, ellie is not leaving her wife

- for a while its just you two and the livestock y’all have but a few years down the line, you decided to adopt a kid, in jackson the parents of a baby girl had passed away so you two were happy to take her in as your own

- y’all are a big happy family together

- ellie loves her girls :,)

- over the years ellie has healed and becomes a lot more like how she was before joel’s death 

- those months after joel died ellie never thought that she would every truly be happy again but when she sees you with y’alls daughter she feels her heart explode

- in conclusion she’s so in love with you and lives happily ever after with her little family because she deserves it. 

a/n: this was originally going to be like 1.5k but i went wayyyy over🧍🏻‍♀️

[fanficmemes]

idk if you remember but for a cursed sunday a while ago (i think it was your blog, not sure cause tumblr's search function is horrible) i sent an ask about drarry smut with magic acid that they drank and all that, and then today i also i sent one about spencer reid from cm...and-and dogs...

anyways! im here with more horribleness because im bored and the weight of the sins i have witnessed are too great for me to bear on the own (disclaimer: i do not condone any of the stuff ive talked about, and i do not wish to shame any fan writers bc just cause someone writes fucked up shit doesnt mean they personally think its ok and sending hate to someone you dont know is bad.)

teensie weensie 12 year old me was confused about my gender and looking for genderbent!harry potter fanfic to read. i stumble across a fic that says 'harry grows feline parts' in the summary, assuming the author made a typo and it was supposed to say feminine and click on it

NOPE!! he actually just grows cat ears and a cat tail. since i'm incapable of quitting stories, i read on even though i didn't particularly want to and my gut was giving me a bad feeling (i shouldn't listened)

harry is still at the dursleys, and the abuse is even more than in canon but nobody knows. snape is sent to fetch him and grumbles about it for a bit but then gets there and sees harry literally seconds away from death on the floor. he grabs him and goes to the headquarters where everyone is waiting. he gets healed, they give him some water but then tie him down to a chair and start questioning him about what happened at his house. he refuses, but then feels himself telling them anyway against his will, bc, plot twist, they fucking spiked his drink with truth serum without telling him.

so after they're done doing what is basically the magical equivalent of roofying and forcing him to give details about his bad home life he was not at all okay with talking about yet, he grows /another/ cat tail right next to the first. this is not explained outside of a couple lines about how its a genetic thing on his mom's side (btw, i dont remember it all perfectly, so plz cut my some slack)

insert 12 yo me's eyes bulging out of their head and quickly scrolling up to re-check the tags and being horrified that i somehow missed the snape/harry tag on it. what prompted this? oh, just a small little scene (/s) where snape basically jacks harry (who is still a minor /and/ one of his students) off but with one of the cat tails instead of his penis because?? because??

anyways, harry is (understandably) upset at everyone for the whole tying-him-down-drugging-him-and-forcing-him-to-reveal-information-he-was-not-ready-to-reveal situation so he decides to dip, change his appearance, and go into hiding under a different identity while staying at some hotel or smth.

there's a random subplot where he gets with draco, but as his secret identity whos is like,,,scottish i think and red head instead of himself and draco doesn't know?? however, when they're in bed right after finishing, the order (who have been trying for months to find him) burst through the door and catch him, then reveal his true identity. draco kinda just shrugs and says he would still be up for a second time because, rivals or not, harry was good in bed. harry has the exact same though process about draco and agrees, before draco leaves and doesn't come back into the plot ever again. (this is all happening in front of all of the other characters, who are pissed at harry for?? idek?? running away from them???)

so, they get mad at harry for a bit, there's some arguing, and then snape tells everyone to leave the room. he then proceeds to spank harry, bare skin on skin, as punishment and to get him to come back and join the order. i think someone cums, but i don't know for sure and idk who it was.

they finish up, exit the room, tell everyone harry isn't going to act out anymore, and thats the end. thats it. no explanation of the cat features, no reprimanding of /any/ of the characters' actions, no follow up on harry's emotions and thoughts on this, nope. nothing. the saddest part was prob that he was geniunely just,,,happier as his secret identity and doing nothing and enjoying the small things for months before the order made him come back.

btw, this was a oneshot and like 8k words i think??? i remember finishing and feeling unsatisfied cause i had to read all that and not even get a proper resolution. anyways, hope this was cursed enough for you. (sorry that its super long, i just didn't know how to condense all of this into something shorter)

What the fuck. 5.5/10

[sweetberry-roebuck]

I want to know.. about ur Jacob fellow

OH BOY OKAY so for this I will have to explain... The entirety of my characters lore.

So basically, there's this mechanic named Jacob who works at the Texas branch of Black Mesa. And he's literally just a guy, and he has this brother who mysteriously vanishes from his lab one day, and a few months later his mom dies. So he's uh a little fucked up, and that's when he is straight up handed two lab grown children to take care of! Y'see Black Mesa has been trying to create the perfect scientist, and to that end the Texas branch has made... An mlp horse and a little gremlin creature. And now they're Jacob's. Because the scientists are great at making weird little guys but have no idea how to take care of them. (not that Jacob knows any better lol) and so he starts taking care of these two! It goes... Relatively well for around three years, despite Jacob's many failings as a makeshift parent and the gremlin creatures tendency towards mischief. They even get names! the horse is named Buddy entirely because Jacob calls him buddy a lot, and the gremlin creature is named Gerrie because they call Jacob "Dr. Garri" and wanted to copy him. But anyway, after three years of Jacob taking care of them, Gerrie needs a test that requires bringing them to the surface, and so they get to see the sun for the first time in their life, and they immediately decide Buddy needs to see it too. And so they hatch a plan!! A very poorly thought out plan, but still. While Jacob is distracted, Gerrie and Buddy sneak out of the lab and head for where Gerrie thinks they remember being the surface being, and this is where I need to pause I explain Buddy's magic. Y'see, when the scientists who made him were goofing around making an mlp horse, they uh. They gave him incredibly powerful magic and then didn't bother telling Jacob. So this horse can move things with his mind and also set things on fire!! Anyway back to the escaping protos. As Jacob is already looking for them, they run afoul of a few patrolling guards, who know prototypes can be dangerous and try to capture them. And Buddy, who's terrified and wants to protect Gerrie, he uh! He kills them with his magic! This freaks him out even more, leading to a massive fire. Meanwhile Jacob hears the smoke alarms and is running around trying to find them, eventually running into the hallway they were in and finding.. lots of fire, multiple corpses, including that of Gerrie, and a crying Buddy curled up on the floor. And this is when Jacob's big character establishing moment happens! Bc what does he do in this situation? He runs the fuck away <3 unfortunately for him, the ceiling above him collapses and he's pinned under rubble, his right arm getting mangled in the process. He passes out, but is soon saved by the rescue team sent in to retrieve the survivors, and he wakes up in the hospital with a missing arm and a lot of guilt on his conscience!

[fuwahiko]

NOT ME TAKING LITERAL DAYS TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH BACKSTORY I WANTED TO GIVE THIS AND ACCIDENTALLY CLOSING THE APP AND LOSING WHAT I HAD WHEN I WAS FINALLY GETTING SOMEWHERE I-

Im a disaster but i finally got my head on straight alright HERE'S SOME OUMOTA FOR YA

SO. The V3 kids have gone on the town to hang out. Why? They were sick of always going to Amami's house. They needed a change of scenery. What are they doing? Karaoke? Bowling? Who knows. But they're all making fun of each other.

Their collective love language towards each other is bullying.

At some point, a lot of people get hungry. Miu, for some ungodly reason, yells at Kokichi to go and order for them. And bring the food down when it's done. For some even ungodlier reason, Kokichi agrees. Without an argument. Not even an insult.

He does kiss Kaito while flipping everyone off before walking off, but now everyone's scared of what the gremlin's planning. Only Kaito's safe if Kokichi's got something planned. Boyfriend priveleges work...sometimes.

With Kokichi, he's waiting for everyone's food when someone shouts his name...or something close to it. Intrigued, he turns around and immediately tenses up. But only slightly.

It his ex-boyfriend. Kokichi never wanted to see this ex (who i call Fuckface McAsshole) again. It wasn't healthy, and when he tried to break it off, said ex lost it and dragged shit out for a week and a half. Kokichi was about to turn and rush towards Kaito and the others, because safety in numbers (plus Kaito could throw a mean punch), but the ex got there first. He had also accidentally left his phone on the table with the others.

There was no calling for help. Kokichi was stuck.

So he was forced to play the long game. He didn't wanna make a scene in such a public place. He let his ex talk and talk and talk while retaining none of what he was saying. When the ex noticed Kokichi wasn't listening, he commented. ("...why aren't you listening to me, Ko? Got somewhere better to be? With people that actually want you around? Fucking doubt it.")

When he hears that, Kokichi snaps. Not completely, but enough to get snappy

"Actually, my friends and boyfriend are waiting on their food. I'm here to get their food. And I can't hear the person calling out numbers because of your blabbering. So be quiet."

Kokichi knew he shouldn't have snapped. He knew as soon as his ex's eyes widened, then narrowed. He'd never admit it, but that look made him slightly nervous.

From there, everything escalates very quickly. Quicker than Kokichi anticipated. It's about to get real ugly in two seconds. And everyone's going to hear and stare at whatever's going to go down.

......soooooo now i hand it off to you. What exactly happens between Kokichi and his ex? How do the V3 kids find out about all this, and how do they react? How does Kokichi react after that fiasco? And what do they all (extra emphasis on Kaito bc Oumota) do to try and comfort and/or cheer up Kokichi after THAT?

(Did i listen to "Happier than Ever" by Billie Eilish when i thought of this...maybe i did and maybe i didn't. You can't prove anything.)

this is a really interesting scenario! kokichi feeling so backed up into a corner like that is certainly unusual, for one thing.

ok ok so I like the idea of like, kokichi trying to work on himself a lot. dude needs therapy. and in this au I can see it being the case that kokichi has been working through stuff a lot and has managed to become so close with everyone because of that - like I'm sure in a non despair au he wouldn't be quite so... ~the way that he is~ anyway, but he'd likely still have a lot of issues and struggle to get along with everyone at first, but then with some encouragement from someone he trusts and gets along with more (kaito? maybe someone else? maybe it's more of a slowburn with him getting closer to kaito?) he'd eventually start going to therapy and start slowly working on himself, as well as starting over with some people he maybe started off on the wrong foot with before. it might take some time, but eventually even the people that really didn't get along with him start to open up a little and try to understand him more, and he does the same for them. everyone sees how hard kokichi is trying, and he's really changing for the better, and that inspires them to work on themselves too and it brings everyone a lot closer.

so. when kokichi's ex shows up, it stirs all of this awfulness inside of him, all of this bitterness. it ends up starting to pull at the worst things within kokichi, trying to bring it all to the surface, and kokichi is trying his hardest to stop himself from saying something horrible, from making a scene, from making every stranger in the area turn to look at him with that look that makes him want to disappear. he's trying so hard not to fall back into old habits and old behaviours; he's been working so hard and finally things are looking up for once.

but then he slips up.

he knew he shouldn't have said anything, but his ex wasn't going to leave him alone anyway, and suppressing his own emotions was getting too difficult, so he had to do something. but now his ex was glaring at him even more than before, and kokichi could feel the rage radiating from him, and he immediately regretted ever opening his mouth. but he'd already come this far, and his ex had backed him so far into the corner that all kokichi could do was bite back just as hard.

kokichi's ex raised his voice, and it was like the floodgates had been opened. everything he was saying was blurring together into an endless string of sharp needles that pierced into kokichi, targeting all of his weak points, hurting him over and over, each needle piercing deeper than the last. kokichi snapped back, his own voice just as loud, throwing insult after insult and trying to dig up all that he could think of to hurt him back, trying to find just the right words to hurt his ex even deeper than he had hurt him, all the while a smirk spread across his face as kokichi pretended like he was enjoying himself, enjoying this conflict, but with every word he fired back he only felt more hatred towards himself. it was a form of self destruction, and now that he'd started hurting himself, kokichi didn't know how to stop.

just when kokichi felt like his own self hatred was going to swallow him whole, he half-registered footsteps growing louder just out of view. then, before he knew it, suddenly his ex was being lifted off the ground in front of him.

kokichi's eyes widened as he finally processed what he was looking at. it was kaito. kaito was here and he had grabbed the ex by his shirt and lifted him up, a furious expression spread across kaito's face.

"the fuck are you doing to kokichi?!" kaito practically roared as he held his free hand in a fist.

after maybe a brief moment of relief, kokichi felt fear and panic grab hold of him, and when he met eyes with kaito he seemed to immediately understand exactly what he was feeling.

kaito let go, letting kokichi's ex drop and stumble as he found his footing. "sorry. I wasn't gonna do anything, I didn't mean to scare you." kaito looked ashamed now, and he turned away from kokichi for a moment. kaito had been working on himself a lot too, specifically dealing with anger issues and his tendency to resort to violence when things got hard to deal with, and he'd been making a lot of progress. kaito knew he would've decked this guy if kokichi hadn't looked so upset, and he felt horrible about it. he felt awful that he was just reverting back to his usual ways, and he felt even more awful because he'd made kokichi feel worse, even if only for a second. he felt like such a disappointment. kokichi felt horrible too, and he felt like it was his own fault that kaito had gotten so worked up, that if he'd just dealt with his ex in another way then kaito never would've gotten dragged into this. kokichi had brought the worst out of himself, and now he felt he was doing the same to kaito, pulling him down with him.

just then, security showed up and asked them to leave. kokichi and kaito both had the thought of telling them that the ex was the problem and that they'd just been going about their day until he started shit, but neither of them said anything, just left without making any more fuss. they gave them their money back for the food at least, but now the whole thing had just been a waste.

when they grouped up with the others outside again, kaito holding kokichi's hand as they walked, everyone was chatting and laughing together as they had been doing all day, but they all quickly realised something was up as they saw how shaken kokichi looked and how kaito's face was scrunched up with frustration. of course they'd also seen that the two of them were empty handed, but that wasn't their main concern.

"guys? what's wrong?" kaede rushed over to see them, a look of worry spread across her face. kaito squeezed kokichi's hand a little tighter as he told them all what he'd walked in on. he decided to do the talking himself, knowing kokichi was struggling at the moment and not wanting him to have to explain everything on top of that. he didn't really know what had been happening exactly, but he'd gathered that this guy had been kokichi's ex, and he knew he'd started something with kokichi because he knew that kokichi would never start anything like that himself now.

maki suggested they all move to somewhere quieter, so they headed down a nearby street that lead to an open area with a park that was surrounded by a long wall that was low enough to sit on. kaito sat with kokichi on the wall, pulling him in close at his side and wrapping his arm around him firmly, reassuringly. kaede sat on kokichi's other side, speaking gently and offering to let him borrow her earphones to listen to some music to help him calm down. he refused, but he appreciated the thought. himiko sat on the grass at his feet in silence, but he knew her well enough now to know she was trying her best to support him, even if she didn't know what to say or do. shuichi and maki sat down beside kaito, who was calmer now, but concerned for kokichi and still upset with himself.

"it's all my fault..." kokichi mumbled sadly, his head resting against kaito and his hand clinging onto his shirt. "it's not your fault. he started it, didn't he?" kaito questioned, already knowing the answer. "not that. I mean... I got you involved." kaito ran the hand that was holding kokichi up and down gently along his arm to comfort him, his free hand reaching to stroke his hair. "don't worry about that, that's not your fault at all. I shouldn't have lost my cool. ...sorry again about startling you." kokichi shook his head. kaito felt kokichi's body start shaking, and he realised he was crying. "I'm the worst... I'm the worst, I'm the worst, I'm the worst." kokichi cried as he buried his face further and tried to hide away. "nothing's changed, I'm just as shitty and horrible and worthless as I always have been... I should've just... done things different... but I did the same as I always do..."

of course. kaito finally realised the real reason why he was so upset. sure he was upset over his ex showing up and the nasty things he'd been saying, but now that they were away from him he was more upset with himself than anything, because he'd worked so hard and he felt like none of that work had actually gotten him anywhere. he felt like change wasn't possible, because if he'd reacted that way then to him that surely meant that he was exactly the same as he'd always been, despite how much he'd tried.

"hey. that's not true and you know it." kaito was about to continue, but miu interrupted. "yep, that's bullshit. ha! if you think you're terrible, that guy sounds ten times worse! what a loser." gonta also spoke up, obviously very upset that anyone would raise their voice at his friend. "hmm... that not how gentleman should act. should be polite, even if ex doesn't like you."

"kokichi, we can all see how far you've come and how hard you've been working, so please don't beat yourself up over this one time. that guy is the one at fault, he put you in a difficult position, a really difficult position, and you wouldn't have reacted that way otherwise." kaede reassured him. "she's right, you wouldn't do that unless you felt you had no other choice." shuichi agreed as he handed kokichi some tissues. kokichi had calmed down somewhat, but he needed to get his emotions out still, so everyone waited patiently, offering words of support every so often, kaito still holding him and placing a few kisses on the top of his head, until kokichi stopped crying and pulled away, sitting up and drying his eyes.

angie jumped up off of the grass. "we should do something fun!" rantaro looked up at her from where he was sitting. "you mean like a distraction?" "nyahahaha! yes! doing something fun will help kokichi take his mind off things and feel better!" "do you have something in mind?" kiibo asked. angie thought about it for a moment. "hmm... nope!" rantaro sighed. "we shall just have to think of something, and we should also find somewhere else to eat as well." kirumi said as she stood up, dusting off the front and back of her dress.

ideas began getting thrown around and the atmosphere lightened up quickly - everyone chatting and suggesting fun things to do together, kokichi just quietly listening, but feeling a lot more comfortable again and appreciating his friends' efforts to cheer him up. it wasn't too long before kokichi was joining in, though, and everyone was relieved to see him slowly returning to his usual self; a bit immature, sometimes annoying, but funny, sweet, so full of life. kokichi was someone they'd all grown to love, no matter how things might have started out for some of them with him, and he wasn't at all who he thought he was when he was feeling down on himself. they hoped that one day kokichi would finally understand that.