#i did NOT mean to write this much

[kingcunny]

What's your opinion on Viserys and Otto after the Episode 4 confrontation? There's such a difference between what Viserys says and implies to his face and what he says to Rhaenyra.

When Otto makes his report to Viserys, he immediately clocks what Otto is trying to do. (And makes a clear distinction between Aegon as Otto's blood and Rhaenyra as "mine own." OOP.) And then as he's scolding Rhaenyra, he acts entirely oblivious. "What vulture?" Is he putting on act for Rhaenyra? To counter her trying to put blame on someone other than herself? Is it more conflict avoidance?

And THEN he fires Otto, and he's like, "I think you killed my dad. Or at least you were gleeful at the opportunity his death provided you." There's some deep suspicion and resentment going back yearsss in that conversation that had nothing to do with why Rhaenyra wanted him gone.

oh my god viserys accusing otto of killing his dad makes me INSANE. cause no one wouldve told him that? the fact that we never hear daemon or any other character accuse otto of the same thing means this is a theory viserys came up with on his own, and has been just quietly holding onto all these years. and that theory sounds like the paranoid jealous ramblings of a kid on some “youre not my REAL dad” type shit. like Obviously the man who came in to take his fathers place MUST have killed him to steal his position and power. but viserys was like 24 at the time.

about viserys theory, i believe the unknown is the scariest thing of all. humans have a need to try and make sense of the unsensable. i think viserys theory about baelons death comes from that same place. viserys not understanding how his father could go from “a hale and healthy warrior and dragonrider at the peak of his ability” to so feverish and racked with pain that he cant even get out of bed and finally dying, all in the span of 5 days, is terrifying. he doesnt know what an appendix is, a ‘burst belly’ doesnt mean anything to him (just like his own illness, appendicitis would be both undiagnosable and untreatable in their time) . but poison? treachery? thats simple. thats understandable. he can point at someone and its *their fault* his father is dead.

this doesnt take away from anything ive said about viserys and otto before either. even with the belief that otto mightve killed his dad, what other father figure does he have? baelon is dead, aemon is dead, vaegon doesnt want anything to do with him. jaehaerys is so ill at this point hes calling viserys by the wrong name half the time. otto is the only one he has to cling too, to seek that parental affection and approval from. and after seeing how he takes care of jaehaerys during his final years, and prepares himself for being king, viserys starts to put his resentment on the back burner. otto is just a faithful and loyal servant, he has to be. jaehaerys trusted him after all. viserys was just blinded by grief.

when otto comes to viserys to report what rhaenyra is doing the first thing viserys does is almost engage in a strange game of chicken? like he refuses to accept ottos implications of what rhaenyra and daemon were doing, makes him "speak it, plainly" almost either *daring* him to say it or maybe giving him a chance to back down. and i think this is a part of his conflict aversion, if he can pretend its not real then it isnt. but otto doesnt back down, even when viserys tries to offer the out of "youve been lied too", either because he *is* trying to ruin rhaenyras reputation or because he believes viserys should know the truth. (theres that scene right before this were otto looks very upset. either debating whether or not he should tell viserys or trying to mentally prepare himself for what he knows will be a very difficult conversation? considering ottos conversation with his brother in ep 3, im leaning toward the latter, hes just been given a very real reason to discredit rhaenyra. aside- i would KILL for the rest of the hotd script to be released) its the confirmation that his daughter and brother have betrayed his love and confidence, and ottos refusal to let viserys remain delusional, to speak it into being almost, that upsets him so much. because now he *has* to accept that this is the truth, to deal with each of them, and the knowledge that Someone Else Knows. (both otto AND alicent now) and im wondering if the distinction between "your blood" and "mine own" isnt a freudian slip at this moment, both revealing that he does not view alicents and his children as 'his' and a resurfacing of those old paranoias about ottos ambitions with the new knowledge that otto has been spying on his daughter.

speaking of daemon actually, something interesting when viserys confronts him, he doesnt directly accuse him either. ("my daughter. wont you even deny it?") he tries to offer daemon an out too, for him to offer up some other explanation for what happened last night. but daemon is all too happy to take credit for taking his nieces virginity.

so when viserys finally confronts rhaenyra about it, he doesnt ask her what happened. just implies that he knows. where she challenges him that he hasnt asked her the truth of it, and he replies it doesnt matter what the truth is, only perception, HIS perception. it doesnt matter what really happened now, just what *he* believes is/isnt true. and both otto and daemon have forced him to accept that the truth is that rhaenyra slept with daemon. but he still doesnt directly accuse rhaenyra of this, because even though hes been forced to accept it, hes moved on to the 'covering it up' phase. if he can pretend it didnt happen, then it didnt. daemon is gone, rhaenyra will be married, it didnt happen and even if it did it wont happen again.

i think when rhaenyra calls otto a vulture it takes him aback a bit. cause how many times in those early days, when viserys believed otto was responsible for his fathers death, or at the very least jumped at the opportunity his death provided him, must viserys have thought of otto in the same way? i think he is feigning ignorance here, for two reasons. the first as a way to shift the blame, but not rhaenyras- his own. his own guilt of letting a man who he does not trust to become so close to him. to have allowed himself to become so reliant on someone who does not have his familys best interests at heart. the fact that otto is using him for his own gain, and viserys even suspected him of this and yet let it happen anyway. the second as a similar sort of game he was playing with otto, to see if rhaenyra will confirm his suspicions about otto. to make her 'speak it into being' so to speak. unlike otto however, rhaenyra does not hesitate to accuse him.

and thats why when viserys fires otto, he does not bring up rhaenyra, but instead the thing that originally made him suspicious of otto - his fathers death.

[innocencel0st]

@facepeeled continued from here.

Camp Red Lake had been many things over the years. But the most important thing it had ever been, in Lynnette's opinion, was a sanctuary. A place where women could band together and heal from the damage their monsters had done. But the monsters always came back, in some way or another. Bruce Volker, Christophe Volker, Skye Elliott and Stephanie Fugate. They were Camp Red Lake's monsters. And Camp Red Lake sat in limbo being vandalized until someone was able to buy it again.

That someone was Lynnette, with a little help from the other girls in group. But it was going to be Lynnette's baby. It was secluded enough that she could feel safe, especially with all the precautions Adrienne had once put into place. But it would also give her more purpose than just sitting around in a dark apartment with nothing but a pepper plant to keep her company. She needed it as much as it needed her.

Seeing the debris everywhere made Lynnette sad. To know that people could be so careless with something someone had loved so much. She was broken out of her thoughts by Cricket's reminiscing, and she had to stick a smile on. She remembered being carefree like that, not having to worry about the monsters yet. That was before she'd been turned into a final girl. "Looks like there's a lot of work to do."

[peterlorres21stcentury]

I honestly wish I had saved more of the interactions, emails and so forth from those days. It still disgusts me how the then-dominant community members turned on me and my friend, and we didn't even do anything to them. It all started over some imagined beef with the author of The Lost One. In those days the dominant community was, for some reason, hyper-protective of Peter's legacy (self-proclaimed gatekeepers, in other words!) and anyone who dared to defy them was branded the enemy. Keep in mind that "defying" the gatekeepers may include such things as "jokes" and "enjoying stuff." There is only Approved Flesh here (phrase stolen from the play Equus, but I apply it to the gatekeeping phenomenon because it seems right).

In any case, because my friend was closely involved with the editing of The Lost One, and the fandom ringleader just didn't like the idea of what was going into the book for some reason--like seriously, who cares what you think, you're nobody--that somehow made my friend the enemy. And because I was friends with her, well, that made me the enemy too. I was 14. I barely knew what the fuck was happening.

And here's what really gets me: the leaders liked me at first. They gave me nice compliments on my art and we had fun discussing Peter's movies and so on. But then everything turned on a dime practically overnight, and it scared me. It was my first taste of the real harm cyberbullying can do, and for someone as anxious as I am already... well, I didn't like it one bit.

Later on, after thinking about it, some of this behavior may have been driven by fear. The group often talked about adult things, sexual attraction to our favorite star, and themes of that nature. I was a minor, and I ignored the 18+ warnings for the fan fiction and so on, because OF COURSE I WOULD. What teen would not? What young person is not curious? Even if I did make a pest of myself, it's no excuse to bully me out of the space.

Keep in mind, many years have passed in the interim and I tried to forget a lot of it. I deleted the email correspondence and bogus legal threats tossed around (yes, I was threatened with legal action for... god only knows what). Therefore it is ENTIRELY possible that some of these details are mis-remembered, or wildly exaggerated in my frightened teenage mind, but that's just it. I was a teenager. The fandom leaders were in their 30s or 40s. They abso-fuckin-lutely knew better. To this day I am filled with rage that they would believe their bullying was in any way acceptable. Their behavior, to put it mildly, was an utter disgrace. I can only hope that Peter himself would be exceedingly angry with them, and perhaps deliver a sharp stinging smack to each of their craniums all the way from the afterlife, but that is my wishful thinking at work.

Now I am 36, approaching solid middle age. I can't exactly call myself the dominant force in the fandom today, but I am olde, and I remember shit, and y'all are stuck with me. Know that I would never, never in a million years, treat anyone in this community the way they treated me. That is my promise.

[addic-tea-d]

[It Was All For Them]

*Inspired by SVSSS cause I can't get them out of my head*

Part 1: It Was All For Them

Part 2: Why Was It Them

Part 3 (potential)

Word Count: 4404

////

How does one apologize for ruining another's entire life? An unspoken prophecy, if you will, that chokes my breath and will follow me to my grave. No way out and no way around it, the only way is to shoulder it all, knowing that in the end, it’s all for them.

The first time I recognized them, standing right there beside me in the grand hall about to greet our new teacher, I realized everything. In the blink of an eye, I saw their future full of laughter and power, but also pain and betrayal — power through betrayal and the one holding the sword through their back held tightly in my grasp.

I tried to change the vision I saw, doing everything I could to not cross paths. I thought I was doing them a favor in hopes of changing their future but the more their future deviated, the more they suffered. Others looked down on them and our teacher paid them no mind. It didn't take me long to realize the vision must be followed. My only salvation through their suffering was knowing after all of this is over, they would stand above it all and finally obtain their rightful happiness.

I hid while they were bullied by the other disciples knowing it would fuel their ambition of gaining power. My mouth stayed shut while our teacher punished them for things outside of their control and forced them to practice until late into the night while I stayed up waiting for them to return to bandage their wounds. I snuck them snacks because I knew how often their food would get stolen and forced to not eat dinner as more punishment. Many nights I would stay awake, my only company the flickering candle while I mended their clothes as they slept soundly an arm's length away. It was all I could do to ease the guilt that grew in my chest day after day.

Our bond grew year after year despite my efforts to build a wall between us but every time they would break through and drag me with them. Their ranking in our sect rose and rose and I couldn’t help but watch with pride as they became our teacher’s top disciple. They became our sect’s pride and joy and finally obtained the power to look down on those who used to bully them. But I knew it wasn’t enough. They were destined for greatness and one day ascension. 

There was only one thing left from the vision and as hard as I tried to delay the inevitable, I knew it was time as I watched them struggle and became swallowed by frustration because there was something missing but they just couldn’t figure out what it was. But I knew. I’ve always known.

I didn’t know when it would happen, but one morning when I awoke, I just knew. It was a feeling that tore at my heart and clogged my throat. That morning I laid there unmoving, replaying the scene from the vision over and over, dreading every moment. I would have laid there all morning if I could but they came to call me for our new mission down the mountain. From dressing myself to hearing about the mission from our teacher to descending the mountain, all I could see was that one scene. It only stopped once we reached the village besieged by monsters.

The two of us defeated monster after monster, our fighting two pieces of a puzzle that fit together so perfectly. It didn’t take us long to finish them off, both of us covered in monster blood but they shone so beautifully with that smile on their face. How could I ever bring myself to do what I was about to do?

We could feel the ground tremble beneath our feet, another monster coming our way. They readied their sword, walked forward, and got into position. But I didn’t move. I couldn’t move. That was the moment but the sword in my hand felt heavy, so… so heavy. We saw the monster on the horizon, a giant monster as least thrice our size. My world went silent, only the sound of the gravel shifting under their feet as they steadied themself. They would flicker their gaze towards me, wondering why I haven’t raised my sword despite the monster getting closer.

I don’t even remember moving but the moment I could hear again, it was my name on their lips with my sword through their back. I couldn’t see their face but I could feel their warmth spread on my hands. My hands were shaking but I couldn’t tell if it was from me or the approaching monster. I pulled away from them, trying to ignore the blood on my sword. They stumbled on their feet, turning around to face me. The look on their face will follow me to my death; the look of utter betrayal.

They reached out a hand towards me, almost grabbing into my sleeve but I stepped back. Unbalanced, they fell forward, trying to hold themself up with their sword. However, the aggressive vibrations from the monster caused them to fall over. I almost went to lift them up but stopped myself in time. As much as I hated it, it needed to be done. I grabbed their sword and turned my back to them, trying to ignore them calling out to me. I couldn’t let them see the tears flowing down my face, nor let my heart be shaken. It was all for them. It was all for them.

I traveled back up the mountain alone. So many times I almost turned around, so many times my body refused to move except to scream at the world and at myself. The only mantra running through my head was “this was all for them”. They would finally unlock the last level of their spiritual powers and gain the attention of a passing deity who would take them under his wing. I clutched their sword tightly to my chest, the only thing which kept my mind even remotely sane was their blade digging into my grasp.

When I returned to our sect, they all questioned me about where they had gone, why I returned with only their sword. I could only say they sacrificed themself to save me and that they were gone. Our teacher tried to take their sword away from me but I refused with all my might, grabbing on with everything I had. I had already lost them, I couldn’t lose their sword as well.

I went into seclusion soon after, unable to meet the eyes of everyone and unable to return to that room where the two of us had spent our lives together. I chose the deepest seclusion cave our sect had to offer, deep within the mountain and far away from everyone. The only light was a crack in the wall barely larger than my palm. There, in the only light in the entire cave, I struck their sword into the ground. Directly behind it, using only a rock, I carved their figure into the wall to the best of my abilities and every day, I would pray.

I would pray and beg all the deities in the world to protect them. When I wasn’t cultivating myself, I kneeled in front of that sword and begged for forgiveness. My vision stopped at their return to the sect after completing their studies under the deity, but I was blind to everything from my betrayal to then and the only thing I could do was pray. Kneeling from day to night until my skin became bruised and legs went numb.

Thankfully, my spiritual level had risen to a point I seldom needed to intake food. Once in a while, another disciple would leave some food at the cave’s entrance though that was very seldom. I would drink water I collected in my water pouch. Only on days when the sun was hidden behind the darkest clouds or when the moon graced the skies did I ever leave the cave because I didn’t deserve to walk under the sun they loved so much. That was how I lived for ten years without seeing a single person.

But one day everything was flipped upside down. It was noon, I was just about to kneel in front of their sword when the sect’s bell started ringing. Whenever that bell rang, it meant something big and important was happening. It had rung a few times before when another sect’s master had visited or there was an important meeting everything in the sect had to attend, save for those few who were in seclusion. As such, I had no intention to head to the sect and planned to return to my praying.

However, the bell never stopped ringing but instead seemed to be getting louder and more frantic. Something must have happened down at the sect. Just as I was about to get up, a disciple came running into the cave, startling me. Not only was he the first person I’d seen in ten years, but his eyes were opened so wide I was afraid they would bulge out of his head and his face was practically the same color as the clouds in the sky. He looked like he had seen a ghost. Before I could ask him what was wrong, he told me, nearly stumbling over his words so hard I almost couldn’t understand. When he regained his breath and repeated himself, I was rushing out of the cave before he could even finish.

I ran. I ran with no regard to my surroundings, nearly tripping every few seconds and getting scratched by all the brush. I could hardly breathe and the only thing I could see was straight ahead and nothing else. The closer I got to the sect, the louder the bell became but also the murmurs of people. Even from halfway down the mountain I could see the large crowd that had gathered near the sect’s main entrance. A flash of light in the middle of the group caught my eye and I tumbled down the last few feet of the mountain.

I wasted no time in getting to my feet and rushing over to the group. I pushed fellow disciples aside, knowing full well how crazed I must have looked covered in dirt and leaves with my face full of desperation. But it was more just plain desperation, I was frantic nearing hysterical.

I finally made my way to the middle of the group, entering the small clearing. I completely froze. I almost stopped breathing. There, in the center, was my master standing next to a nearly blinding deity in conversation. But it wasn’t them who I was interested in, it was the person behind the deity, almost equally blinding with a soft glow dressed in silk robes that flowed despite there being no breeze. Their skin looked absolutely flawless, even the tiny scar in their eyebrow was no longer there. Between their brows glowed a golden lotus symbol, evidence of their soon ascension to becoming a deity. They looked absolutely magnificent.

I didn’t even know I had fallen to my knees until I finally noticed they were staring down at me, face completely void of emotion but I could tell, those eyes… those eyes stared down at me with all the hate in the world and more. But I didn’t care, not even a little. I only cared they had finally returned alive and well. They’ll finally get the happy ending they deserved.

I was so ecstatic I don’t remember what happened next, only that I woke up staring at the ceiling of the room I used to live in at the sect. It filled me with nostalgia, staring up at that ceiling I’d known most of my life. But something was different; it no longer carried the same warmth as before, the air had a heaviness to it. Even though I knew it would’ve been too good to be true, I still glanced toward the bed on the other side of the room, smiling through the ache in my heart when I found it empty.

Footsteps nearing the room caused me to sit up, my heart was climbing up my throat. Could it be them? I was clamoring to my feet, a thousand words mixing in my head as I pondered what to say. What could I say? But in the end, nothing ever came to mind because the one who walked through that door wasn’t them, but the deity who took them under his wing. I greeted him as sincerely as possible, bowing as low as I could in respect to the powerful deity.

I kept my form as he stayed silent but when he finally spoke, my head whipped up to gaze upon his glowing self. He knew who I was, which was of no surprise to me, but what he said after tore my heart to shreds. I thought I did well ten years ago, a swift blade through their back and then leaving them behind to follow their fate. But with my blade covered in the blood of those monsters, the moment it went through their body, I had doomed them.

When the blood entered their body, it was dormant at first but over time, it slowly poisoned their senses. After a few years, their five senses were completely numb. They could no longer touch, hear, taste, smell, or see. It was all thanks to the deity that they were able to recover some of their hearing and sight, but he wasn’t able to completely cure them, which was why he came to find me.

When he first saw me when I pushed my way into the clearing, he knew there was something about me. He proceeded to check my horoscope and found I was the perfect match to theirs. If I were to exchange my spiritual energy with theirs, there was a high possibility they would be completely cured. Of course, in turn, my senses would go numb as I absorbed the poison into my body. I agreed immediately. They were suffering from my mistake, I had to be the one to make things right.

He brought me to the guest wing the two of them resided in, taking me to their room. We went inside and there they were, meditating on their bed. I could almost feel the warmth of their spiritual powers. Noticing our presence, they reigned in their powers and stood up to greet us. I expected them to scream at me to leave, but when as they looked in my direction, they had no reaction. I nearly cried at the realization of just how severe their situation was.

I was introduced as a mute disciple their master had found in order to heal their senses. They accepted me easily and thereafter, I would attend to their needs every day from dusk to dawn and all throughout the night. I would assist them around the sect and during the afternoon, I would exchange our spiritual energies. It was a weird feeling, exchanging energies, slightly painful at times as I could feel the poison eating away at my senses. After each session, I would feel slightly drained while they looked brighter and brighter.

The deity advised me on how to heal their senses. Each sense would take a month to heal, each session a couple days apart. As their senses got better, mine would worsen, and as such, I should start healing their smell, taste, and feeling first before I heal their hearing and sight. And as such, first I healed their feeling to allow them to cultivate easier, then their taste to finally enjoy the wonderful flavors of food for the first time in years, and their smell to enjoy the flowers they used to adore when we were young. But then it got complicated, should I heal their hearing or sight next?

If I healed their hearing, I wouldn’t be able to hear if they needed me. If I healed their sight, then they would know it was me and would most likely reject further sessions. I discussed with the deity, and it was decided I would heal their sight first. Should their sight be fixed, then they would no longer need my assistance and I would be able to leave their side, needing only to meet up for our sessions. The deity would also provide me with a mask to hide my face with the excuse I had horrible scars.

As our sessions were every three days, I had only three days left to take them in before I would lose the chance forever. I stared at them whenever I could; when they ate their meals as if those dishes were the most delicious things in the world despite not needing them, as they trained while moving their body like the wind with such strength and precision, while they meditated in quiet and glowed so softly they could easily replace the moon. I absorbed every scene like ink to paper so I may recall even the tiniest details in the future.

Three days passed by far too quickly. It wasn’t long before I found the two of us sitting on their bed with their back toward me. Taking in their grace one last time, I put on the mask provided by the deity and started exchanging our energies. Even though it would take multiple sessions before their eyes healed, I couldn’t take any chances. The entire time, my eyes felt as if they were burning, yet I bit my tongue in order to not utter a sound. When the session was over, I had to dig my nails into my skin in order to keep myself conscious. It was all worth it, seeing their face brighten as they took in the multiple colors of the world around them.

As our sessions progressed, the more my sight became blurred and darkened, but nothing could dim their smile as they could finally see more and more. I no longer had to keep them company the entire day as they could take better care of themself. Whenever I wasn’t attending to them, I remained in my room, for what else could I do? I spent ten years in that cave, I had no close relations to my fellow disciples, and there was no need to cultivate any longer.

With only one last session to cure their sight in two days, as I was about to clear their dishes away, they picked up their guqin, hands gently running over the strings. I stopped my hands, sitting down to watch with whatever little sight I had left. They plucked the strings, not necessarily playing a specific song, but it sounded absolutely beautiful. If there was ever a scene I wanted to be burned into my mind, it would be this; watching them play the guqin so gracefully with the softest smile on their face. I could feel the tears begin to prick my eyes and quickly gathered the dishes and left, the music continuing until it slowly faded away.

With only one day left and as it also happened to be one of my rest days, I decided to venture back to that cave. It was a struggle, climbing up the mountain with little sight. I tripped over stones and roots every few steps, running into branches that scratched my body. It took me an hour to finally reach the cave when it usually took me fifteen minutes. When I finally made it, I ventured to the deepest part where I lived for ten years. Everything was silent, even more so than usual. The darkness took away what little sight I had left until I made it to the very back.

Their sword glowed under the light that streamed through that crack. I kneeled immediately in front of that blade, in front of that wall. I burst into tears, thanking the heavens they survived, for answering my countless prayers. They may have returned poisoned, but I would be able to overwrite my mistakes with spiritual energy. I don’t remember how long I cried, but after I calmed down, I made my way to their sword, grabbed the handle, and pulled it from the ground.

From where the sword resided in the ground, I began to dig. I pushed aside dirt and rocks, using my nails to dig as much as I could until I came upon a small wooden box. Pulling it out, I brushed off the extra dirt, wiped my hands on my clothes, and opened it to reveal a little vial. A vial of poison I once procured when I decided I would end my life when they one day returned and I would atone for my betrayal with death. While I didn’t deserve one, it would grant a quick and painless death.

Placing it in my sleeve, I grabbed their sword and began my way back down the mountain. Perhaps it was because I was traveling downhill, or because of how many times I slipped, but I reached my room faster than my ascend. Knowing I was filthy, I hid the bottle under my pillow where it would be easy to reach and hid their sword under my bed before heading to the baths, making sure my mask was still secured after falling so many times.

For the last session to heal their eyes, the deity joined us with the excuse of wanting to make sure nothing went wrong since the eyes are a sensitive area. However, the truth was he was there to help me leave after as my sight would be completely gone. He stayed off to the side and I started the energy transfer. It was excruciating, it took everything in my body to not pass out and make any sound. If they knew the price to heal them was at the cost of another, their gentle soul would never allow it.

After the last of the energy transferred into their body, I nearly collapsed but the deity caught me. He checked on their eyes, and while I could no longer see, I could hear their excitement at finally being able to take in every little detail around them; from the embroidery on their clothes to the paintings on the wall. As they excitedly looked around the room, the deity escorted me back to my room. Before he could leave, I grabbed their sword from under my bed and handed it to him, begging him not to tell them I had it.

During the three-day wait until the next healing session, I remained in my room. Where could I go without my sight? I couldn’t risk stumbling around. Not only was there the risk of bumping into them, I also had no intention of bothering the other disciples in the sect. And so I sat there in my room, trying to accept the darkness that became my life, recalling all the memories of the past couple of months in order to try and stay sane. With merely one month left, I only had those memories to keep me going within the darkness.

Finally, the day to start healing their ears arrived. The deity came to lead my way to their room. I was told they were already waiting on the bed, that way they wouldn’t see me struggle my way over. I took a deep breath before carefully making my way over.

When the session started, I almost pulled my hands away. An intense ringing pierced through my ears and wouldn’t stop. It was so intense I wanted to rip off my ears but I persisted. I had to. I had to do it for them. When it was over, I never felt more drained. The deity quickly took me away and for another three days, I remained in my room alone. For the following month, the closer we got to the last session, the more drained I became but I had to keep going.

When the last day arrived, my hands were trembling. I was on the verge of tears, I could finally make it up to them. The deity had to assist me all the way to the bed due to how weak I was and I was thankful to him. The pain that day was worse than ever, so many times I almost pulled my hands away but we were so close, so close to finally healing them. When the last of my spiritual energy entered their body, I couldn’t help but slump forward. My head bumped against their back, but I could no longer feel their warmth anymore. I couldn’t help but smile. My role was finally over.

A hand grabbed my arm and lifted me up. With my legs weak, I fell against them. I recognized them as the deity. We didn’t leave right away, but we left soon as he helped me stumble back to my room. I slumped onto my bed. In the darkness and silence, it was surprisingly calm. They would soon pass the last level and become a deity just as the vision foretold, gaining the power they needed to finally obtain the hapiness they deserved after all these years.

Would the other side be as dark and quiet? Or would I fall to the depts of the underworld and burn for my sins? Either way, there was only one way to find out. I felt around under my pillow, finding the vial. Sitting up against the wall, I uncapped the vial and brought it to my lips. I hesitated for a split second before drinking the liquid inside down to the very last drop.

I could feel my eyelids become heavy, my body quickly following suit. I’ve never felt so tired. It was just like falling asleep. Despite knowing my end, I was quite calm. As my body became more and more heavy, I replayed the scene of them playing their guqin with the softest smile on their face. It may not have been the clearest memory I have of them, but that smile was evidence everything I did was in the right. Because from the beginning to now, it was all for them.

[cozylittleartblog]

Columbo and the Knight (1984)

put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.

Autism W!

[a-dope-fiend]

It irritates me alot when people say that making medic more compassionate is ''missing the point of his character'' when he is literally shown to be in the comics.... did you miss the part where he showed concern for both sniper and miss pauling's well being in comic 5 and 6.

His actions are a combination of genuine attachment + clinical interest and these things do not cancel out one another. He is always pushing boundaries and going against the grain and i think this is what led to him losing his license in the first place. He felt stifled by the rules imposed on him.

He is shown to be extremely passionate so it makes sense that he would use his endless fascination with medicine as a way to show his affection. He loves his friends so he will find a way to make them borderline indestructible. Malpractice is his love language.

[thedreadvampy]

Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.

"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."

translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"

It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!

very this

[hyakunana]

"My friend, my partner… my Guardian."

[tomfrogisblue]

i forgot to post this during june but i think one of the reasons qsmp was so important was how unapologetically Gay it was

for starters, the number of creators and admins involved who are irl queer of some variation, just chilling in a place where any kind of phobia would get Philza's legendary ban hammer faster than you could say "rainbow jelly"

and then the characters.

i remember showing up that first day and being shocked that somehow foolish had an ex-boyfriend already (I had missed the squidcraft lore apparently)

that server. gay. all the gay. all kinds of gay.

govermentally assigned platonic husbands that stayed together the whole time (despite one of them being gone for months at a time), not a chance in hell of infidelity. Proud fathers of two wonderful children.

governmentally assigned partners who yelled full volume at each other about cheating any time they were in the room together and between the two of them killed two children.

a grieving father and ex-convict becoming one of the most solid couples in the server, with a beautiful wedding and consistent public displays of affection via the in-game chat.

a demon ashamed of who she was and a lonely detective struggling with family trauma, now with a lil girl of their own, to love together and take care of, with more moms than could ever allow the little girl to ever be lonely herself.

a 2b2t warrior coming to terms with his sexuality with the support of his beautiful baby boy at his side, slowly but surely opening up to his eventual Brazilian Boyfriend. Where they went from the most cautious couple (baby steps) to the most sickeningly sweet couple on the server.

- and this list doesn't even scratch the surface.

gay characters, trans characters, ace characters, aroace characters, gender fluid characters, all kinds of relationships and families.

all presented without negativity or shame.

the point of the server was to exchange languages and cultures, without the biases and barriers seen so much in both the content creator scene and the wider world.

it also had a beautiful little side effect, practically by accident.

our lgbtqsmp.

[crimeronan]

i've seen a couple people in the notes of this very good post about fictional polyamory by @thebibliosphere say things along the lines of "oh, i've been doing it wrong :(" or "how do i know if i did this right??" or "i should probably give up and start over, i wrote this badly :(" and. no!!!!

(i AM seeing far MORE people say "oh, this clarified and helped me so much, i think i know how to fix issues i've been having with my own story" which. YES!!!!)

listen. if you're a monogamous person who's writing a polyamorous relationship, and you've been focusing mainly on The Triad and All Three Together All The Time as the endgame, that's literally fine. that's a perfectly acceptable and strong starting point for your plotting, imo. you do not need to give up on a story that you've started like this.

but the things discussed in the post Can and Should improve your execution!

you can keep the same plot beats and overall relationship arc 100%. polyamorous relationships are infinite in their formations, every one is unique. "basically a monogamous romance but with three people" Does exist, as a relationship type. you're not hashtag Misrepresenting (TM) poly people with it

BUT i do think it will help to read up on some poly people talking about how their relationships Differ from monogamous ones.

so i have outlined some basic important concepts about polyamory.

MORE IMPORTANTLY though, i've broken down some questions that you can answer throughout the writing process to strengthen your individual dyad relationships, your individual characterization, & your characters' individual feelings/experiences. this is a writing resource have fun

future kitkat butting in to say i spent over two hours writing this and it definitely needs a readmore. it is also NOT comprehensive. but everything should be pretty simple to follow! feel free to reblog if you find it helpful yourself or just want to reward me for how gotdan long this took KSLDKFJKDL.

i've grabbed quick links for a couple of the important concepts, some have SEO pitches in them but the info largely seems to be good. (if i missed anything Egregiously Gross on these sites i should be able to update the links with better ones later, since they're under the readmore.)

sidenote: this is NOT meant to be overwhelming, despite the length. if you can't read all of this, that's Okay. you do not need to give up on your writing.

here we go:

compersion!

compersion is a BIG thing in a lot of polyamorous relationships. it's joy derived from seeing two (or more) of your partners happy together, or joy derived from seeing your partner happy with someone else.

compersion is really important as a concept because it highlights that every individual relationship within a polycule is different -- and that that's a GOOD thing. it's sort of the inverse of jealousy.

by the "inverse of jealousy," i mean that instead of feeling left out and upset and possessive, you feel happy/joyous/content.

i can use personal experience as an example: it's a Relief for me when my partners receive joy/support/sex/romance/etc that i can't (or prefer not to) give them. and i love seeing my partners make each other laugh and be silly together.

it's 100% okay for a poly triad not to be together 100% of the time, it doesn't mean that the third member is being left out or not treated equally when two people do things alone together.

(i have individual dates with my partners all the time! PLUS larger 3-and-4-person date nights.)

if the third member DOES feel jealous or left out, then the polycule can have a conversation to figure out what needs/wants aren't being met, and solve that. this happens semi-regularly in my polycule, as it will happen in any relationship (including monogamous ones)! it's just part of being an adult, sometimes you have to talk about feelings.

metamours!

a metamour is someone who is dating your partner, but ISN'T dating you. this may not be relevant for people writing closed three-person romantic sexual triads, but it's a super helpful term to know.

the linked article also lists different types of metamour relationships with some fun phrasing i hadn't heard before. the tl;dr is: sometimes you'll be domestic cohabitation friends, sometimes you'll be buddies with your own friendship, sometimes you might not interact much outside of parties, every relationship is different.

there's no one-size-fits-all requirement for metamour relationships. sometimes polyamorous people will end up dating their metamour after a while (has happened to me), sometimes polyamorous people will break up with one partner for normal life reasons, but remain friendly metamours.

the goal of polyamory is NOT for EVERYONE to fall in love. it is 100% okay if this happens in your story, it happens in real life too! but it is also 100% okay for characters to be metamours without ever becoming "more than friends."

(sidenote: try to kill any internalized "more than" that you have when it comes to friendship. friends are just as important and special and vital as partners.)

of course there are a million ways for messiness to occur with metamours within a complex polycule, exactly like with close-knit platonic friend groups. however this post is not about that! there's enough "here's how polyamory can go wrong" stuff out there already, so i'm focusing on the positives here :)

open versus closed polyamorous relationships!

i'm struggling to find an online article that reflects my experience without directly contradicting at least SOME stuff. so i'll give a quick rundown

google has a bunch of conflicting definitions of open relationships and whether open relationships are different from polyamory. the general consensus seems to be that an open relationship prioritizes one partnership (often a marriage), but that each partner can have extraneous flings or long-term commitments (most often sexual in nature).

this is not typically how i use the term wrt polyamory. the poly concept is pretty simple. a closed polyamorous relationship is one with boundaries like a monogamous one. there are multiple partners in the polycule, but they are not interested in having anybody new join said polycule.

an open polyamorous relationship tends to be more flexible -- it just means that IF someone in the polycule develops mutual feelings for a new person, it's fine for them to become part of said polycule if they want to! the relationship/person is open to newcomers.

some groups will need to negotiate this all together, others will just go "haha, you kids have fun." just depends on the individuals!

with open AND closed polyamorous relationships, the most important thing is making sure that there's respectful communication and that everyone is on the same page. but there's no one-size-fits-all way to do that.

i wish i could give you guys a prescriptive "You Must Do It This Way" guide, but that's.... basically the opposite of what polyamory is about, HAHA.

feelings for multiple people!

i was gonna tack this on to the previous section but decided it warranted its own lil bit.

a defining feature (....i'm told?) of monogamous relationships is that a monogamous person only has feelings for One individual at a time. they only want a relationship with one individual at a time. or, if they DO have feelings for multiple people simultaneously, they're still only comfortable dating one person at a time & being exclusive with that one person.

this is perfectly fine!

the poly experience is generally different from this. but once again..... polyamorous people all have different individual perspectives on this.

for me, i have never been able to draw hard boxes around romantic vs sexual vs platonic relationships, & i love many people at once. my personal polycule lacks many strict definitions beyond "these are my chosen people, i want to forge a life with them indefinitely, whatever shape that life takes"

some poly people feel explicit romantic or sexual attraction to multiple people at once, some poly people feel almost no romantic or sexual attraction at all. i'd say that MOST poly people feel different things for different partners, which is not a bad thing!

some poly people are even monogamous-leaning -- they have just chosen one romantic partner who is themselves part of a larger polycule. (so this monogamous-leaning person has at least one metamour!)

or alternatively, they might have one romantic partner AND a qpr, or other ways of defining relationships. (this is a factor in my own polycule!)

i made this its own point because if you're writing a straightforward triad, this is unlikely to come up in the story itself -- but it's worth thinking about how your characters develop/handle feelings outside of their partnerships.

like, is this sort of a soulmateship, 'these are the only ones for me' type deal? in which they won't fall in love with anyone else, and can be fairly certain of that?

that's pretty close to typical monogamous standards but you Can make it work. just be thoughtful with it

alternatively, can you see any of these characters falling in love Again after the happily-ever-after? and how would the triad approach it, if so? what would they all need to talk about beforehand, and what feelings would everybody have about the situation?

it's worth considering these questions even if the hypothetical will never feature in your actual canon, because knowing the answers to these questions will help you understand all of the individuals & their relationship(s) MUCH better.

i've been typing this for nearly two hours and there's a lot more i COULD say because... there's just a lot to say. i'll close out with some quick questions that you can ask yourself when developing the dyad dynamics within your triad

first, take a page and create a separate section for each individual dyad. then answer these questions for every pair:

how does each pair act when alone?

how do they act differently alone compared to when they're with their third partner?

are there any elements of this dyad (romantic, sexual, financial, domestic, etc) that these two people DON'T have with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

are there any boundaries or hard limits within this dyad that aren't shared with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

partner 3 goes out of town alone for a few weeks. what are the remaining two doing in their absence?

(doesn't have to be anything special, it's just to get a sense of how the two interact on a day-by-day basis without the third there)

what is something that each partner in the dyad admires about the other -- that they DON'T necessarily see in the third partner?

what problem do These Two Specifically need to solve in the story before their relationship will work?

how is that problem DIFFERENT from the problems being solved within the other two dyads?

doing this for ALL THREE dyads is VITAL imo. that way, you develop complex and nuanced and different relationships that all have unique dynamics.

those questions should be enough to get you started, i hope

then After you've charted the differences in relationships, you can start to jot down similarities in the overarching triad. what does one person admire in Both of their partners? what are activities that all three like to do together? what are boundaries or discussions that all three share?

but the main goal is to figure out how to Differentiate each relationship!

a polycule is only as strong as the individual relationships within it. if two people are struggling with their own relationship, adding a third person won't fix that.

(UNLESS the third person is the catalyst for those two to, like, Actually Communicate And Work Their Shit Out. i just mean that the old adage of "maybe if we just add a third-" works about as well to fix a miserable non-communicative marriage as, uh, "maybe if we have a baby-")

AND FINALLY.

if you're not sure whether your poly romance reads organically to poly people, you can hire a sensitivity reader with poly experience. if you can't afford that, you can read up on polyamorous resources like a glossary of terms & articles actually written by poly people. (and stories written by poly people!)

you can also just.... ask poly people questions, if they're open to it. i like talking about polyamory and my own relationships so you're welcome to send asks if u want, i just can't guarantee i'll answer bc my energy levels fluctuate a lot and i don't always have time.

polyamorous people are in an uphill battle for positive representation right now & so the LAST thing i want to see is authors giving up on their stories bc they're worried about getting things Wrong. well-meaning and positive stories that treat this kind of love as normal, healthy, & aspirational are So So So Needed. even if you guys end up with some funky-feeling details.

seriously, if you're monogamous then you probably don't have a full idea of Just How Nasty a lot of people can get about polyamory. i wish it DIDN'T mean so much for you guys to want to write nice stories about us, but it does mean a lot. and it means a lot that you want to do it WELL.

in conclusion. this is not a prescriptive guide, it's just a way to raise questions. and also, you all are doing FINE.

[obsessedwithstarwars]

Bruce: How was your class trip Damian?

Damian: It was quiet and productive Father.

Bruce: I’m glad to hear it. What was your favorite part?

Damian: I learned how to escape an Iron Maiden.

Bruce: …

Damian: …

Bruce: Explain please.

Damian: A boy Drake’s age taught me how to escape an Iron Maiden.

Bruce: How did he have that knowledge?

Damian: He claims his family has a dungeon full of medieval torture devices. I believe he may require further investigation.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.

(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)

[sergle]

man, you know, nobody asked me, but I have such conflicting opinions on some of the fat falin art, where on one hand: it's always nice to see A Fat Body in fanart anywhere + it's being done in positive ways, for funsies and on the other hand, there is something so familiar about how you are automatically The Fat One if you are a woman simply standing next to a more petite woman, bc I've had a 0% hitrate in seeing people change Marcille's body type and keep Falin's, or change both of them. it's just Falin

[limbel]

did't feel inspired to work on a new prompt today so i decided to keep exploring dean's notebook from this piece, since i am very much Still Thinking about it a Normal Amount

[celebrimborium]

Stop fighting me and together, let us fight them.

[otaku553]

Haha