#i did Not sleep last night. now that i'm no longer sick as a dog my insomnia is slowly creeping back up. help

[klanced]

I missed your voltron posting it reminds me of why I fell in love with the show before (gestures) everything

people are always like 'katie how can you possibly still enjoy talking about voltron?' but what people don't understand is that voltron is like a ready-made meal kit for me. i don't like voltron because i think the show was good (it was Not); i like voltron because i'm too lazy to develop ocs of my own & the vld characters are juuuuuust enough like blank slates that i can commit blatant daylight robbery and steal them for my own purposes

[luveline]

Hii

Whenever you have time could you please do more single dad!Spencer. It’s just too cute and it really warms my heart how you write it.

tysm ♡ dad!spencer and his daughter amanda find their reunion unexpectedly interrupted when you need a place to stay the night. fem!reader, 3.4k

Spencer doesn't mind how tactile Amanda is. If anything, he loves it, content to have her sitting in his lap or on his hip, anywhere he goes and anywhere she wants to be. He tries to get in as much affectionate time with her as he can when he's home to make up for his days away. 

He doesn't like missing her, but he loves coming home. Amy sits on his stomach while Spencer lays on the couch, using his thighs as a backboard while they both fail to pay attention to the kids cartoons on their TV. 

"Were you good for Mrs. Gomorrah?" he asks, though he knows she was. He had to live through the agony that was teaching Mrs. Gomorrah how to text on a cell phone he bought for her years ago, but it was worth it to get those incremental updates that he relies on every day to get to the next without catching a flight home.

Amy had pizza 

Amy misses you. She said she is kissing you through my phone

Wants a new dress for school party tonight, emergency money OK to use? said she loves you 

Aaskkk k k o 

Sorry, accidentally texted you, Amanda made dinner tonight [photo]

The text messages help being far away feel less like torture. Spencer loves his job but he wonders if he should love it less, sometimes, when Mrs. Gomorrah remembers how to send photos, or when he can make it back to the hotel before bed time and call Amy.

But here she is in the flesh. Spencer doesn't worry about work when she's holding his hand. 

"I was good," she confirms, wiping hair from her face with a blue sleeve. She's in her pyjamas at three thirty. Spencer's in his matching set, blue long sleeve t-shirts with two dogs —a grown up and a puppy, seemingly a dad dog and his daughter— on the shirt and miniature dogs on the pants. "Promise. We did fruit kebabs last night." 

Spencer saw photos, but he still says, "Yeah? What fruits did you have? You know, strawberries will be extra yummy again soon because they're back in season." 

"We had strawberries, and bananas, and the green one, kiwi." She puts one of her feet up on his chest. He makes wide eyes at it to hear her giggle. "And with chocolate and maple syrup, it was really yummy." 

"We should make Tanghulu." 

This is a new word for Amy. "Tanghulu?" 

"It started with a berry called Chinese hawthorn, but now people use lots of different fruits. You make a fruit kebab, but instead of chocolate, you dip the fruit into hot sugar and it goes hard as it cools like rock candy, and you have good strong teeth, so you could eat it no problem." 

"It turns the fruit into candy?" she asks, wiggling her toes. 

"Kind of." Spencer covers her foot with his hand unthinkingly. She looks tired already though it's only the afternoon. She gets very tired when Spencer comes home, like she'd been waiting. "Do you want to have a nap with me, sweetpea?" 

"No, I don't think so."

Spencer made a mistake when she was younger. He thought leaving while she was sleeping would make it easier to say goodbye. It was for him, but Amy didn't sleep or eat right for days, and Spencer had to come home before the case was over to stop her from making herself sick. They've worked on it, Spencer never ever leaves without saying goodbye, but she still gets scared to sleep when they're together sometimes. 

He ushers her forward. "Come here," he says, "quick, give me a hug." She flops forward and Spencer arranges her into a cuddle, hand against her hair, his nose pressed to her forehead. "I missed you." 

"Missed you more," she says. 

"Not true. I missed you so much." 

"Don't go away again for a day," she says. 

"I'm staying home for a whole week. Maybe longer, okay? But I promise you, seven whole days no matter what." And he means it. The only thing that could change his mind is a mass murder situation, but otherwise, they'll have to make it work without him. He hates to say that kind of thing, but he has to say it, because Amy is his first priority. 

She relaxes into his arms. "Okay." 

His phone rings, because of course it does. Amy frowns her displeasure with tears shining silver in her eyes. Spencer shakes his head at her, "I'm not going, Ames. I promised. I won't answer anybody, this week is just going to be me and you." 

She glares at the phone and rests her chubby cheek on his chest. Spencer wonders if it's uncomfortable considering his lack of padding and sits up with an arm behind her seatbelting her to his front. "Let's go watch TV in bed." 

Her hands grab at the back of his shirt. "Bring your phone, dad," she says. 

Spencer kisses the side of her head. "No, I told you already, I'm not going." 

"What if Mrs. Gomorrah wants to come for dinner?" she asks, her voice smaller, sleepy. She rubs her face into his front. 

It's a good point. Spencer picks up his phone to check if it was her and frowns at the missed call. It's you. You've texted him too. 

"It's Y/N," he says. 

Amy knows you because whenever he's had to bring her with him (not often, but occasionally on regular work days when there's school reset days), you're very, very kind to her. You're not sure of yourself around kids but it doesn't matter, you let Amy sit with you if she wants to and you always talk to her with care, offer her snacks, anything that you can share. 

It's why he calls you back. That, and you're a nice friend. 

— 

You're feeling about as ashamed and sheepish as a girl can be as you take the elevator up to Spencer's floor. You don't want to impose on anybody, but you'd rather have died than ask Hotch, JJ's taking a vacation in Santa Monica, Penelope's on a conference with Kevin, Emily chose to use her week on an undisclosed trip, and Morgan was similarly off the radar. 

And you know Spencer has Amanda, you know they've been apart for longer than they've been together this month, and you hate interrupting their time together, but… you couldn't stay home no matter how badly you wanted to. Stupid landlord. Stupid cockroaches and stupid fumigation tents.

You carry your go bag with nothing but a week's worth of dirty clothes and your wallet. Your phone is about to die and you'd really wanted, more than anything, to crawl into bed and sleep the daytime away. 

You've never been to Spencer's apartment despite knowing him well, and liking him more. You knock on the door, apartment 305B. You're dead on your feet at this point, exhausted by the jet ride home, the commute to your apartment, the subsequent ten minutes spent crying on the sidewalk, and the next half hour debating if you could bother Spencer. Maybe you should've got a hotel, but it was already getting late and you just needed something familiar. Selfishly, you needed someone you knew after such a shitty case. 

"Hello," Spencer says, opening the door with a familiar girl held in his arms, "don't mind my jacket." 

Amy's clearly sleeping, tiny snores echoing from near his neck. It's cute, but it makes you feel much worse. "I'm sorry–" 

He doesn't let you apologise, "Are you kidding? What were you gonna do? We're excited to have you." He's kind of talking to you like Amy's still awake, enthusiastic whisper-shouting as he pulls you inside. 

"It's just for tonight, I promise. They said I'll be able to  back in by evening tomorrow," you say, holding your bag to your chest. You blink at him as you follow him to the kitchen. "Are you wearing matching pyjamas?" 

"You came over last minute!" he defends with a laugh. 

Spencer opens his hand for your bag and puts it behind a steaming bowl of soup. "Oh, were you guys eating dinner?" you ask. 

"No, that's for you. I'm gonna put Amy in bed and then I can do your laundry. Did you need a hug?" 

"What?" 

Spencer smiles at you. "I thought maybe you're having a bad day." He offers his empty arm and you don't know how to say no, don't want to, careful not to bump into Amy as you curl your arm behind his back. "We're happy to have you. You could stay all week and that would be fine. Did they really give you no warning?" 

"I called my landlord and he laughed and then kind of got quiet. I think he forgets that I live there." 

Spencer pulls away and puts a hand on Amy's back. She's very slight like Spencer but if she were any older he'd struggle to carry her for as long as he has. You can see the fatigue trembling in his left arm. "It's not legal for him to leave you with nowhere to stay, and without any notice. You could ask Hotch–" 

"It's okay." You gesture to Amy's face. "She's getting so big." 

"And heavy. Be back in a few. Eat on the couch if you want to." 

You wouldn't. Spencer takes Amy into one room off of the main room, and then comes back to grab your laundry before disappearing into another. His apartment is a fun but odd layout, the door leading into a living room slash kitchen with a dining table, then opening out left and right, bedrooms toward the back of the apartment and a bathroom behind. It reminds you of a flower, that central hub of life and the petals curling outward. 

You pick up your spoon cautiously. He definitely said the food was for you, but it's so strange to be greeted with a meal, you can't remember the last time someone made sure you had something to eat. 

Spencer doesn't attract your attention until he's pulling up a chair next to you with two glasses set on the table. "I put your pyjamas on quick wash. And your, uh, your grey bag." 

Your grey bag is a little net bag full of delicates. You try to be adult about it, but it's so super awkward that you end up laughing aloud, "Oh, shit, I'm sorry." 

"Don't be. It doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you. I just put the entire bag in, like, intact." 

You believe that, but you infer from the tightness of his voice that he's worried you'll think he's weird. Honestly, he's just nice, even if it's awkward. Everybody wears underwear. "That's what it's for," you say. 

"Do you think they make those in a bigger size? Amy's vests get tangled sometimes because the straps are skinny, that would be useful." 

"I'm sure they do," you say, toying with your spoon. "I… really don't know how to say thank you. I know we're friends, but it's different. To let me stay."

"When I was a kid I didn't have many friends. By high school I didn't have one. So I never got to have sleepovers until Amanda. And she's my best friend, but she's six, so…" 

You both laugh suddenly, beaming at one another in your wrinkled, mismatched clothes. 

You finish your meal through lighthearted conversation. Spencer takes your dish for the sink and you both move to the couch to watch TV. 

Clifford the Big Red Dog plays on mute. "I know you're thrilled to watch something this intellectually tantalising, but maybe we should watch a movie. There's a guide under the cushion," Spencer says. 

You dig for the guide but wherever he thinks it is, it isn't. 

"Doesn't matter. Mrs. Gomorrah will have one, I'll take her some dinner at the same time. Would you keep your ear on Amy? She might wake up."

He makes a tray for Mrs. Gomorrah, a neighbour and good friend of his. You've met her once when she brought Amy into the office, an Italian-American woman who's black and silver hair bounced when she talked. Beside his mother living in a sanitarium in Nevada, and his small daughter, Mrs. Gomorrah is Spencer's only family. He treats her accordingly. 

The washing machine starts to beep a few minutes after he's left. You spring from the couch and track down his washer and dryer, transferring your damp wash into the dryer and frowning at the machine's strange settings.

"Daddy?" a small voice calls. Sharper, unhappy, "Daddy?" 

"Amy!" you say, moving from your crouch to stand in the doorway. "Hi, honey! Your dad just went to give Mrs. Gomorrah some dinner." 

Amy squints at you. "Miss Y/N?" 

"Hi," you say tentatively. "My house is kind of broken for a bit and I asked your dad if I can stay the night." You bend to meet her eyes properly. "Would that be okay with you?" 

"Yeah," she says, smiling. "Yeah, please stay. Daddy's friends never come over." 

"Did you need something, honey? I can help." 

"No… You're sure he's at Mrs. Gomorrah's?" 

"Definitely one hundred percent positive. He can't go to work without me, can he?" 

Amy shrugs little shoulders. "I guess not." 

You can't help laughing at her. With the sound of the dryer bumping behind you, you meet Amy near the dining table and touch her shoulder gently to prompt her toward the couch. She jumps up onto the seat with the most cushions and you sit beside her. You and Spencer never managed to pick a movie, so the kids channel still plays on mute. 

"How do you turn it up?" you ask, offering her the remote hopelessly. 

Amy sidles against your side and points. You click the small white speaker button, greeted by the barks of another episode of Clifford. 

"Is this one okay?" you ask. 

"I love Clifford."

It can't be two minutes before she rests her head against your arm, her hand locking over the crook of your elbow. 

You're not sure what to do. She's Spencer's kid, so she probably does. "Do you want a cuddle?" you ask her. You'd be happy to give her one, but you don't know what's okay with her. 

"Please." 

You hang your arm across her shoulders and behind her back, stroking a tentative and short line into her arm, just once. "These are nice pyjamas, Amy. I saw your dad has the same ones." They're soft under your arm. Her hair brushes your wrist as she turns her head to crinkle her nose at you. 

"Thank you. Me and dad have all matching pyjamas," she says proudly. 

"All?" 

"Well, maybe not all. But lots." 

She hums and shuffles closer to your chest. It felt odd at first —although Amy has sat in your lap at your desk at work, and even given you a hug on her birthday to say thank you for the books and candies, you're not used to children or the things that they want. But it feels less foreign the longer she sits there, and you find yourself relaxing for the first time that day. 

Spencer comes back with a shiny TV Guide Magazine and a bundle of Amy's clothes under his arm. His eyes light up as her head peeks over the back of the couch. 

"Sorry, I was just at Mrs. Gomorrah's," he says, quickly putting everything down to take her into his arms. 

"I know," Amy says into his shirt. 

He kisses her head. You almost miss it, the affection quiet and swift. "Was your nap okay? Or do you need another one?" 

"Dad! Y/N's here." 

"Y/N doesn't care that you take naps, she takes naps too." Snoozing up against his shoulder with drool running down your chin. 

"No, I can't sleep because we're having a slumber party!" 

"We are?" he asks. 

"But she needs matching jammies." 

"Well, I don't have anything matching, but it won't be long for all my clothes to dry. I can wear jammies, then, at least," you assure her, sending Spencer a squinting smile that says, She's the cutest thing on planet Earth. 

He smiles back, as if to say, She really is. "Maybe Y/N wants a nap." 

Amy's concern lands on you. She climbs out of Spencer's arms, pressing her hand to your shoulder. "Please don't nap, I want to play games." 

"I'll play games, babe," you say. "Any game you want." 

"Yes! And, and maybe we can make, um–" Puzzled, Amy quirks her mouth into a frown and bounds back to Spencer. He rounds the couch and leans down at her gesturing. "What's it called, the fruit candy?" she whispers.

"From earlier?" he whispers back. "It's tanghulu. Tang-who-loo." 

She whispers a sweet thank you, spinning on the spot with her hands held behind her back. "We can make tanghulu, it's fruit kebabs turned to candy! Do you want to?"

Spencer smooths her hair back from her face. "You don't have to," he mouths, already squeezing her arm like he's prepared to talk her down. 

"Well, if it's okay with your dad I'd love to."

She gasps happily, jumping down off the sofa to race into the bathroom. "I'll wash my hands!" 

Spencer snorts and sits on the couch arm. "Notice how she didn't even ask me?" 

"You know that's a good thing." Spencer's probably read every parenting book there is. "She's so smart, Spencer. So smart, it's incredible. You're amazing." 

He scratches the collar of his sleep shirt, his curls moving as though woken by a gentle breeze as he nods to one side, "She shows some signs of an eidetic memory. Not like mine, but most children who have eidetic memories don't have them like I do. I can't take the credit for that, you know, beyond genetics." 

"Of course you can, someone had to teach her these things for her to remember them. You're never as nice to yourself as you should be, Spence. Everybody knows you're a great dad." You slouch back into the couch. "And I'm not just saying that because you're letting me stay for free." 

"There's no version of this situation where I would ever charge you. Thank you, Y/N. Having her by myself has been hard– it's hard. She's easy and I love her and she's better for me than she probably should be." He winces, his talking rushed, like he's listing statistics. "I haven't really been by myself. Mrs. Gomorrah. The team. We've known each other for a year but you act like Amy's family whenever you see her, and that means a lot to me. That's why I'm glad you called. You can always call me if you need help." 

"You can always call me," you murmur back. 

Spencer bumps your thigh with his knuckles. "I'm glad we're friends. Are you sure you're not too tired? Tanghulu isn't easy if you've never made it." 

"Says who?" 

"East Asian Eating, issue 78. We have to find the sugar, water, glucose syrup sweet spot or the candy doesn't harden."

"We can do it. You're the smartest guy I know, and I've been known to be resourceful. Plus, we have a world class assistant." 

Spencer stands up and offers you his hand to help you come with him, his fingers brushing yours for a moment that seems to stretch for minutes. "Just curious," he says softly, to your heart's clear delight, "when was your last check up at the dentist?" 

Right. He isn't about to tell you something you want to hear. This is Spencer —you should've guessed an odd question was on the horizon. 

"I'll have to think about it," you say.  

Amy bounds out of the bathroom and paints a trail of water droplets from the table to the kitchen. "He thinks you have weak teeth!" she explains. 

"That is not what I think." 

[ilove-sexydilfsnmilfs]

-Star Crossed- chapter 1

Pairing- Oc!reader(afab) x Logan Howlett

Words- 1.9k (not proofread plz excuse any errors)

Summary- it’s been nearly 2 years since Cora(reader) and Logan both lost eachother in their own universe, both broken, angry and hated amongst their people, They would do anything to see one another again, little did they know that day would come sooner than expected, and shatter their hearts into pieces and drive their long hidden desires to the surface ….will they be able to forgive themselves for their past and finally be together? Or will the universe just tear them apart once again?

Warnings- mentions of death, blood, 18+ (smut) in some later scenes/chapters… tension!!!! ./trauma/ no use of y/n I will be using a name but I won’t be describing any appearances! / Logan is aged down to be atleast in his early /mid 30s in this story / will add more warnings when needed.

————————————————————————

You’ve been rotting in your bed for months now, you can’t bring yourself to do much…not anymore.. you feel so lost, so hopeless..all because he’s gone, and you blame yourself for everything that had happened , you blame yourself for losing Logan.

You stare up at the white ceiling, Logans dog tags rest around your neck, his old grey zip up wrapped in your arms, his scent slowly fading with each day that passes. You feel nothing but sadness, you’ve cried so much you genuinely don’t think you can bare to cry anymore you just want out. Out of this fucking world, out of your misery. But what can you do? Just leave? No…what would leaving do? You’d still carry the pain you’ve felt since the day Logan Howlett died in your arms. Sometimes you swear you can still feel the warmth from his blood pooling under you, his heavy body laying stiff in your arms…the feeling of absolute dread when he stopped responding to your pleas to stay with you a little longer, when his hand fell from your face, body going limp…thinking about it makes you want to end your own life sometimes but you know that’s not what he would have wanted for you…he would want you to live on, but how could you live when the only man you’d ever loved was gone …forever?

You rolled over on your side, your face sinking into your pillow while you held his jacket close to your body, your other hand clenching his bloodstained necklace it’s all you had left of him since you left the x mansion, you couldn’t be there anymore, not with all the memories and not with knowing none of your friends were there anymore either.. they were all gone, dead… you were the last one left, and you couldn't bear to be reminded of all the happy memories...not when survivors guilt was riddled in your body. when everyone had died, you felt like you at least had a reason to live giving you still had logan by your side, but then he got sick, adamantium poisoning....you don't know how it happened, but the adamantium inside of him started to break down, entering his blood stream, it weakened him, slowed down his healing factor...you hated seeing him in pain, it wasn't like him to show it so much, it broke your heart almost every day and that's when you decided to find a way to help him before it got too bad...but little did you know... that would be the very cause of his death.

You blame yourself every single fucking day for his death, sometimes you wonder if you even deserve to wear those dog tags he ripped from his neck and placed in your blood-soaked hands...."I'm so sorry Logan..." you whisper into the jacket, muffled cries echoed through the quiet dark room, cries that soon turned into loud gut wrenching sobs.. you stayed like that for hours, crying yourself to sleep, the way you did almost every night.

you were jolted awake the next morning by the sound of hard loud knocks on your apartment door. You look around frantically, knowing who it was already...it was them.. humans. Humans who hated you more than anything, more than any other mutant...why? because they blame you for the deaths of the other x-men, and they most definitely blame you for the death of Wolverine. "fuck...that fast??" you mutter stuffing your things into a bookbag that lay on the floor next to your bed, they had defintely found you faster than last time....fuck.

you tried to sneak out the window in your bedroom when the door was kicked open by a few bigger men, they ran inside trashing the place, calling out your name in a way that made your skin crawl "COME OUT YOU BITCH" one yelled like a raging brute "come out come out wherever you are Cora, we just wanna make you feel the pain we felt when you killed the x-men" another cooed, his voice was one you'd hear when taunting someone, it was fucking creepy.

"Fuck me!" you spit in a whisper, they seemed even more upset than before...to this day you don't understand why the humans decided to turn against you, I guess they just needed someone to blame for the deaths...and you were right there and unscathed. As you were trying to make your way out the small window, the door to your bedroom flung open and 3 men entered, a mob of people behind them, they grabbed you almost immediately, grabbing your hands and putting them behind your back, and covering your eyes knowing full well of all your abilities. "We got you; you bitch, you're not going anywhere" . Now this whole ordeal would be a lot easier if you could just use your powers against them, but you took an oath when Logan died to never use your powers to harm a soul ever again...and yea these people were horrible trying to kill you but they genuinely think it's your fault your friends are dead...and you know you'd feel the same way if you were in their shoes, so yea...you took an oath to never use your powers to harm these people...but no one ever said anything about using your combat skills...like cmon you were a fucking x-men...these people are really stupid.

you kicked your leg up into the air, uppercutting one person causing them to fall onto the ground with a loud thump. you then brought your head back to headbutt the man holding your arms behind your back and when you felt they were free you ripped the blindfold off and quickly grabbed a lamp that sat on your bedside table, bashing it against another's head. A few people came charging at you at once, but you dodged them with minimal effort, grabbing their heads and bashing them together causing their bodies to go limp and fall to the ground. your right elbow landed directly into someone's stomach making them gasp for air then you brought your knee up to bash it clear into their face, as someone tried to climb onto your back you stumbled from the sudden attack and fell back into a wall causing them to bring a knife right down into your upper abdomen "GET OFF OF ME" you screamed in pain , pushing yourself back into the wall again and again but the person still had a grip on you, that's when another person tried coming at you full speed to tackle you to the ground...you were getting exhausted, you hadn't properly worked out in months and this sudden fight was one you weren't expecting... you were annoyed, trying to fight all these people, finally getting the person on your back off you head someone yell "YOU MURDERER, YOURE KILLING US BUT WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THEY NEEDED YOU"

"ITS ALL YOUR FAULT WOLVERINE IS DEAD" those words, those seven words snapped something inside of you...and well that oath you took...it meant nothing to you now. you brought your hands up into the air, your eyes glowing a bright white, the humans looked at you with nothhing but fear in their eyes. they all stumbled over eachother in the small apartment, but none of them were fast enough, you brought your hands down with a swift motion and everyone in the room flung back, some hit walls, some crashed into furniture and others flew out of windows, an instant death giving you were on the 7th floor. "I DID NOT KILL LOGAN" you screamed, people tried getting up but you didnt let that slide, "I TREID TO SAVE HIM, I LOVED HIM” you swished your hand to cause the ones trying to escape to fling back to the ground. You saw the man that uttered those words that made you snap almost instantly, you had heard them so many times before but for some reason today was the last straw, you tilted your head to the side walking towards him slowly as you brought your hand up you balled it into a fist and watched as he was lifted off the ground, grasping hopelessly at his neck, he couldn't breathe and you only squeezed your fist tighter and tighter as you watched his face turn blue, you glared at him, your eyes narrowing until

'POP'

His head was gone within an instant, blood painted your clothes and face. You were in uncontrollable rage, and couldn't stop, matter of fact you didn't want to stop. you wanted them to feel the pain they have been putting you through when you were already going through enough.

The others screamed, but you quickly shut them up, you twisted your head to the side, and without really thinking about it you opened a portal...it was another one of your abilities you rarely used, but as you were throwing people through it, the screaming stopped....they were all dead and you began to come down from your high while the portal was kept open...you fell to your knees and watched as the golden sparks from the portal started to dim....but before the portal closed completely you saw it...him...a face you hadn't seen in almost 2 years....Logan Howlett.

you felt your heart skip a beat when you both locked eyes, his expression showing just as much shock and heartache as yours, ignoring the bodies you absent mindlessly had thrown before him, in his hand held a bottle of whiskey but it soon hit the cold ground, shattering into pieces. you absent mindlessly grabbed the dog tags that hung around your neck, shooting up to your feet before calling out, "LO-" you were cut off mid-sentence as the portal closed as quickly as it was made and once again you were left alone in silence. You fell to your knees, shaking, your mind raced thinking if what you saw was just your imagination paying tricks on you...logan was dead...there was no way ....you saw him die , you saw-..."no....that's not possible" you mutter to yourself, you stared blankly at the blood riddled floor....that's when your mind began to drift to something Strange said long ago to you...how your ability was one of a kind, how with your own mind you could create portals to other worlds without a type of device...at the time you thought he was just wrong...every time you used your ability you only opened portals to other places in your world...not any others, only he had the ability to do that and even so it was with an object... or...at least you thought. "How...I don't even know wh- I don't even remember what i did .... how?" you were at a loss for words. Did you actually do it... did you open a poral to another earth, one where...Logan was still alive? you felt tears swell in the rim of your eyes, soon falling down your cheeks and onto the floor...you felt sick, crazed and as you looked around...horrible...if what you saw was real, then Logan, The man you've craved to see , the man you once loved and still do love, the man you tried saving and the man that died in your arms...is out there and just in your reach.

(I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS, THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL HAVE MORE INTERACTIONS BETWEEN BOTH CORA (THE READER) AND LOGAN. IT WILL ALSO BE FROM LOGANS POV FOR A LITTLE WHILE let me know if you guys liked it!! 🫶🏼)

[phanhlee]

(I finally done all the commissions so now I have time for this. Hope you enjoy :>>)

Tag: Claude Frollo x male!oc (Helzon Sullivan)

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Part 2

In this time when Helzon served as Claude's personal servant, he was treated like a literal king. Claude usually doesn't command him to do anything much, beside maybe sitting near so that Claude can look at him.

Helzon can cook very well, since he has been making foods by himself in his whole life. He is definitely able to do any housework Claude could possibly give, cooking, cleaning, washing clothes or stuffs. However, those works are pushed to the other servants while Helzon mainly is commanded to clean Claude's bedroom.

Sometimes, Claude would wear him a collar (that one of a dog) and walks him around the city to show that Helzon belongs to him. He pretty likes dressing his favorite servant up too, spending hours picking clothes that suit Helzon the most (anything would look good on him) even when he won't wear time twice. It's just nutrition for Claude's eyes.

Helzon is an obedient one anyway. He wouldn't question Claude's orders, despite how ridiculous they are. Example like when Claude requests to join his bathtub, Helzon only gives one excuse "This is not a big bathtub" then let him in anyway. Or like when Claude sneaks into his bedroom because his own room is cold, Helzon hugs him to sleep.

That also created a bad habit for Claude Frollo. He knows he would get what he wants just by speaking softly, so he just...uses it. Once, he asks Helzon for a kiss, and he gets one. All the the shame or sense of guilt have left Claude Frollo that day when he sneaked up in a man's house, so now he has nothing to fear anymore.

However, Helzon is a hard one. To him, a kiss is just a mere physical contact, it could make him feel nothing. That irritated Claude sometimes, but does he care ? He just keeps doing, because he feels good doing so.

(This is sketch color and I'm suck at background)

Everything changes at that one night. It starts a few days before, when Helzon starts acting weird. He remains unfocused, and sometimes overreacted (To someone like him, it means he actually be surprised, or afraid or anything).

He asks for four days off duty. Claude refuses, but that doesn't last long when Helzon decides to use his charm. With some little begging and puppy eyes, he gives in.

The first day, Claude can still handle it. Helzon keeps himself in his room all day, not eating, not opening the door, as if he is sick or something.

The second day, Claude starts to get impatient. He starts to yell and bangs Helzon's door, calling if he is alright. It's just because he's worried (just maybe, it could be that he misses his possession). However, Helzon keeps saying he is fine.

The third day, Claude can't take it anymore. At night, he comes to Helzon's room and calls for him like usual, but this time Helzon doesn't answer (Why don't think that he's just sleeping? Idk either). Claude makes the decision... The door was locked, so he breaks it...

It was dark inside, and the atmosphere is unusually cold, and there is something weird moving in that room. And that is when, Claude finds himself beneath an enormous creature.

His skin was pure black, and his hair is longer, with silver color. The creature appears with four eyes, scales, fangs, and unusual heat. Most important, the creature has a long, giant snake tail... One like in legend said.

However, Claude can't never mistake those silver eyes with anyone else. This is Helzon's true form, his real body. He was in heat that moment, such animistic heat that he hardly control himself like usual, especially with such a prey beneath him.

But something beyond Helzon's expectations happen... Claude... Did not... Fear him. After hundred years of abandonment, of hatred, fear, Helzon never once hope he would find someone who look at his monstrous form with such endearing eyes.

That is the moment, Helzon fall for him.

(It's unnecessary to tell what he did to Claude that night. Know what they say about snake ? That they have two-)

After that, Helzon turns completely sweet to him. The calmness remains in him, but now there is sweetness in his every actions. He would touch and kiss Claude first, saying sweet nothing to him while keeping that face straight.

They sleep in the same bed more often, and Helzon would spend time massaging Claude's body, or reading books with him. They become much more affectionate, without tension, since Helzon can handle it pretty well in those kinds of situations.

Things are getting better...

(just a scenario in Cai)

--------------------------------------

That's part 2. Sweet dream before storm. There will be more :>>>

[en-chi-la-da]

general animal death talk below

last night my dog sissy finally passed away

when i say finally i don't mean it like "god FINALLY i've been WAITING for her to GO already", i mean it like, i've been expecting it. "she's a tiny elder dog so i shouldn't be surprised when it happens", it's happening > it happened > time goes on. she's lived a long life, a solid 21 years (her birthday is in january) which was way longer than i was expecting her to go to be honest (although it is the estimated lifespan for the chihuahua breed WHATEVER) she was a strong little geezer. never broke a bone, rarely got sick, it felt like she was indestructible, looking back on it all.

unfortunately, she did get sick once again, so it actually wasn't from her old age catching up to her (again, that's what i expected to happen). she became lethargic and weak, very hot, was not eating/drinking or getting up to use the bathroom, when she did it was only to pee, and lots of sleeping. when we got her checked out she was dehydrated, ran over 103-degree F fever, and they told us that after an ultrasound they had found some cysts that had developed in her lower body (her digestive tract i believe). they said her body was trying to fight off an infection, most likely from the cysts, but they couldn't tell if they were cancerous or not or if one of them had popped or something. in the end, she wasn't looking good.

long term, we would've had to pay for numerous tests and surgeries for them to figure out what exactly was affecting her and try to treat her, although with her current state and how old she was, the vet estimated that most likely, her body wouldn't be able to handle all of that. short term, the quality of life route, we administer painkillers for a predetermined amount of time until she passes on her own or we run out. or, euthanization right there in the clinic. i saw no point in the medicine, why try to keep her around, just so we could watch her continue to suffer in her own bed? so she could keep not drinking or eating? so the infection could keep spreading? so i could end up one day coming home to find her dead body? horrible and ugly and the last thing i want to remember her by.

it felt like the best course of action, all things considered. she gets to pass painlessly, and i get to say goodbye and hold her in my arms one last time. honestly, i hadn't even started crying until it was over. when i felt her stop breathing and the vet confirmed that her heart had stopped. sure, at this point i had already accepted the fact that she was dying, there's not much we could do about it without hurting her more, it's the cycle of life, it was her time to go, i knew it was going to happen eventually - still, despite everything i was telling myself, to just get through it, for her sake - all my feelings in that moment still hit me like a truck. never before had she felt so small.

her life and her death will remain with me for the rest of mine, and i can only hope to see her again one day, but not for a long, long time.

i'm okay now, for the moment. honestly, ive just been rewatching all the videos i have of her, continuing to think of her and remembering her life with me. all that's left is to let the grieving process pass, i suppose. this is the last pic i got of sissy - this was from only a day before she started getting sick, can you believe that? i have others of her obviously, but this one i'm more comfortable with sharing.

on 4-15-2024 i said goodbye to the strongest chihuahua i've ever known and had the pleasure of raising 💖 may she rest in peace! :')

[inspirationalucky]

EPIC: THE WISDOM SAGA PROMPTS & STARTERS.

of course, go ahead and change names/pronouns/etc as necessary to fit your muse or the situation! please do not add more lines/prompts to this post!

Legendary

"It's just me, myself, and I stuck in my bedroom"

"I'm dreaming of all these monsters that I'll never get to fight!"

"I wish I could, so I could bring the world some light!"

"I'm stuck with your stories, but no clue who you are"

"If I fight those monsters, is it you I'll find?"

"I know life and fate are scary, but I wanna be legendary"

"They keep taking space, and there's not much longer we can stall."

"They're getting impatient. Dangerous, too."

"I would fight them if I was half as strong as you."

"Can I do whatever it takes to keep my mom safe?"

"It's been twenty years, and we still have no king."

"Give me a chance, a single opportunity, and I'll overcome these obstacles and scrutiny"

"Don't you dare call my mother a tramp!"

"I just did. Whatchu gonna do about it, champ?"

"If I fight this monster, is it you I'll find?"

Little Wolf

"Wanna entertain me?"

"Let's see how you take this."

"Wanna be a man? Then fight."

"You've made your worst mistake here. Might be your last one, too"

"You'll have run out of bones to break when you and I are through"

"I'll teach you all the lessons your daddy never could"

"This cruel world doesn't give out presents just for being good"

"Run away before you die"

"Is your plan to stand around? ‘Cause I suggest you fight back"

"Uppercut him. Now."

"Woah. How did I do that?”

"Is time now moving slow?"

"Woah, this is so sick!"

"Alright, now. Let’s try this again"

"I've no respect for bullies, those who impose their will"

"I've seen plenty enough to truly understand this kind of filth"

"Let's teach this dog a lesson in front of all his kind"

"One young wolf has a larger heart than all these men combined"

"Show them that you've got some bite"

"Take advantage now and strike."

"Don't go down without a fight!"

"Ooooh, maybe I pushed a bit too hard..."

"Go back and cry in your corner. Make sure your mother hears."

"Tell me, [ Athena ], why you came to my aid?"

We'll Be Fine

"I had a friend before and he was a lot like you"

"I helped him fight through war"

"He had his demons too"

"Then we grew apart, then his light went dark"

"Maybe if I'd made a different call, maybe he'd be fine"

"Maybe if I hadn't missed it all, maybe he'd be fine"

"Maybe if I helped another soul, I could sleep at night"

"I don't know who your friend is. I don't know what he's like."

"My time with you has been splendid. The best day of my life!"

"I got in a fight and I didn't die! I've never felt strong before!"

"You're my friend, I couldn't ask for more"

"Maybe it's time that you lend a hand. I don't think he'll mind"

"Maybe to fall is to learn one way"

"Maybe it's all gonna turn out great"

"I know we'll be fine"

"I know it's light you'll find."

"You're a good kid"

Love in Paradise

"Old friend, it's been ten years since I last saw you."

"Let's see where you've been."

"[ Odysseus ], where did you go?"

"Morning sleepyhead, you've been resting for a while"

"I swore that you were dead when you washed up on my isle"

"Did you know you talk in your sleep?"

"Anyways, I've got all you could want here & all you could need here."

"Hello no, I could kill you where you stand!"

"I'm no pet! I'm a married man!"

"You may try, but last I checked, goddesses can't die"

"You're adorable! Bow down, now, to the immortal [ Calypso ]"

"But fear not, I bring no pain"

"We've got all we could want here"

"Under my spell, we're stuck in paradise"

"No one can come or go, my island stays unknown"

"No, no! I don't belong here, there's something wrong here!"

"I won't be drawn to love in paradise!"

"Seven years she's kept you trapped out of your control... time can take a heavy toll."

"You don't know what I've gone through! You don't know what I've sacrificed"

"Every comrade I long knew, every friend... I saw them die, and all I hear are screams"

"It will be fine, dear. Come back inside"

"I know your life's been hard, I'll stay inside your heart"

"Life would be so much worse if you had died"

"Please, stay away from harm. Stay in my open arms"

"He needs my help."

God Games

"Father, rarely do I ask for favors..."

"Divine intervention? Is that what you seek?"

"You are playing with thunder for a man full of shame"

"But if he's worth the risk of going under, why not make it a game?"

"Convince each of them that he ought to be released, and I'll release him"

"You all know I'm a fan of catchy songs!"

“I think [ Ody’s ] in the wrong!”

"They were trying to do him worse, all he did was reimburse them!"

"Now they'll treat with caution first, to live another day and sing another verse"

"Trust is not given, it's forged."

"Why should I give him my support?"

"He sacrificed his own cohort"

"Did you forget they failed to listen?"

"He was betrayed and then imprisoned."

"If you make the right decision he can still build a future with those who miss him"

"Your little high and mighty [ Odysseus ] claims to love his mother, but let her die of a broken heart"

"Let him feel the pain that his mother felt and rot"

"Wait! Please, reconsider this"

"Really, [ Athena ]? These old tricks?"

"What kind of sick coward holds back his power while his friends get devoured?"

“He didn’t even try to kill her!”

"Hold your tongue now, his son's my friend!"

"Tell your lover that a broken heart can mend"

"You want more bloodshed? Then set him free"

"To get back to his homestead he'll make everybody bleed"

"So many heroes, so many tales! Give me one good reason why yours should prevail."

"He's got the mind of a genius"

“He’s pretty skilled with words”

“You can do better than that!”

"He's kinda funny!"

"Never once has he cheated on his wife"

"I've played your game and won. Release him."

"You dare to defy me? To make me feel shame?"

"No one beats me. No one wins my game!"

[cryptidsurveys]

Wednesday, August 7th, 2024.

Who will you be spending Christmas with this year? Depending on what day it falls on and what my schedule looks like at the time, I will most likely be spending it at the animal shelter. The rest of the day will be spent at home with my dad. I'm sure I'll do something with my mom to celebrate Christmas too, but not necessarily on the day-of.

What time do you usually go to sleep at night? I go to bed super early (like 7pm-8pm); however, it takes me a while to fall asleep, so unconsciousness happens sometime around 9pm. I also typically wake up during the night and it takes me a bit to get back to sleep. Going to bed so early is pretty much the only thing that even halfway guarantees that I'll get at least 7-8 hours of solid sleep. Unfortunately, going to bed later with the hope that I'll fall asleep faster or sleep more deeply just shrinks that available window of opportunity.

Did you go to high school with your current best friend? No, but we did meet during my high school years.

Have you ever wanted to be vegetarian or vegan? I have been vegan/vegetarian at different points in my life, but not currently.

Do you park your car in a garage, carport or just in a driveway? I park it in the driveway. There's no room in the other half of our garage, but even if there was…lmao, I'm afraid I would park in there and I wouldn't be able to back out again. New driver problems, I guess. ;D

Have you ever been a passenger in a semi-trailer truck? Yeah. In childhood. We broke down on the way back from a grocery shopping trip in another city and a semi driver gave us a ride back into town.

Have you felt sick today? No. Just tired, but a good, satisfying type of tired.

Whose was the last funeral you attended? It was for the father of a past partner, back in 2009.

Have you read The Hunger Games trilogy? I have.

How many times a week do you wash your hair? A bunch. Twice on animal shelter days because I shower before and after, then at least once during my two days off. Like, sometimes I'll skip showering on one of the days if all I'm doing is going grocery shopping, but if I'm feeling gross or have therapy or some other social activity later in the day, then I'll take one.

Do you need to wash your hair right now? I guess I don't need to because I showered last night, but I will be showering shortly because I need to get ready to go to therapy before too much longer.

Do you avoid using public restrooms? Not really.

What is your boss’ (or school principal’s) name? I'm not going to give their real names (I've been using aliases for animal shelter staff for the sake of anonymity, plausible deniability, or what have you), but they will be referred to in this blog as Leslie and Iris.

Have you seen any extended relatives in the last month? I haven't.

Do you like eggnog? Yeah.

Is there anything important you need to do today? Therapy, wash my bedding, make some art, and spend some time with my kitties (I can tell they miss me now that I'm gone more often). Oh, and because I don't know if I'll get a chance to take a survey within the next few days, I'll just talk about some upcoming stuff. I'm going grocery shopping tomorrow morning and I need to pick up a bunch of doughnuts to bring in on Friday. It might be Cassie's last day, so I want to have a little going away celebration with the people in cattery. It's also going to be one of our community service worker's last days, so we're going to sneakily invite him back there as well. Plus Darrel - can't forget Darrel. And I'm getting enough so that the dog staff can have some too because I don't want them to feel left out, especially not with how kind they've all been to me.

Who is the person you dislike the most? Okay, you know when you work with someone who drives you up the wall with their behavior/personality? Then you find out they might be leaving (it's still a case of I'll believe it when I see it)? And you're like…damn, I'm actually gonna miss you a little bit. Maybe you're not so bad after all. And what if the person who replaces you is even worse? (It's Alex, lmao.)

Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? Yeah.

Have you ever properly listened to classical music? Did you like it? I don't know what you mean by properly, but I basically always listen to classical music whenever I'm in the car. I do like it.

Do your parents know how to text? Yeah.

Do you text your parents often? Not that often. I text my dad when I'm on my way home from the shelter after full days (sometimes we get finished much later than expected), and I text my mom only very occasionally.

What letter does your middle name begin with? A.

Do your initials spell an actual word? HAT.

What will you do when this survey is over? I'm actually going to stop here and go take my shower. I'll finish this later in the day, so you'll have your answer then… OKAY. I'm back from therapy. It was cancelled due to a family emergency. I had a snack, made some art, and after this…I think I'm going to lie in bed and listen to something on YouTube until lunchtime.

Do you know anyone with celiac disease? I don't think so.

How many siblings do you have? Are they all full siblings? I have one sibling.

What’s the weather like today? Sunny and hot.

Have you ever eaten a cinnamon donut? I might have.

What is the longest relationship you’ve ever been in? A few years.

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Twice.

How do you usually celebrate New Years? I don't really do anything. I don't even bother staying up until midnight.

Is the place that you’re in right now quiet or loud? What can you hear? It's a little bit loud due to the swamp cooler.

Do you currently have any alarms set? No.

How many cars can fit in your driveway? You could probably squish four in there if you wanted to.

Do you like whiskey? I don't like the taste of hard liquor in general. Then again, I don't drink it for the taste.

When was the last time you ate, and what did you have? I had Greek yogurt with fruit, cereal, and chocolate syrup.

[amanyxia]

At first, I was skeptical that anything could sway me from alcohol. And then I met Shrooms last fall.

The first trip was mixed with alcohol, not what I intended but the friend we tripped with was drinking and I felt like I should join. I am bad at saying no to things bad for me. It was okay though, the trip was okay, although I didn't feel much besides nonstop crying and laughing.

The second "trip" was solo and I ate about half a homemade brownie and ended up going to sleep two hours later, feeling nothing. After that it had me thinking my medication stopped me from tripping. I'm on Welbutrin though and as far as I've researched those aren't supposed to cause a disruption. Apparently, I was not pleased with the failed research so I stopped the medication a week before my third trip, again solo.

This third trip actually was amazing. Definitely my top experience. No alcohol got involved. It wasn't even a thought. Just the shrooms and green once in a while. I was happy. I was focused and I felt creative. I created many neat photos, got back into tarot, and journaled. I created a system of each room having a different color light. Each color had meaning for things I had to come face to face with. The last light I had to get to was Grief. I acknowledged its existence but stayed away. I have yet to go back to that. I want to though and it is planned eventually. I came out of that trip feeling refreshed. It felt like so much shit was lifted off my back, all these stupid minor problems, no longer screaming in my head. After that, I got back on my Welbutrin and I was still doing fine. I was still drinking here and there but nothing big.

A fourth trip came up where I was solo, but not alone. My boyfriend was home with me that night. I stayed in my living room coloring and listening to music for 5 hours straight. It was very zen, I was too lost in the music and enjoying myself to leave my spot. I didn't want the dog ruining my peace if I got up, he's very excitable and I was not in that mindset to handle such chaos. I was happy but not as happy as my previous trip. There was anxiety around my boyfriend. I was overthinking. "Did he want to trip? Why doesn't he join in? Why doesn't he want to hang out with me?" He was in the bedroom watching TV all night, trying to keep the dog away from me so he didn't disturb me. That's most likely why. But my brain couldn't connect those dots until now as I actually type it out. We've never tripped alone together though. Only with another friend. Which comes the fifth trip. But may I just add, going to the gym coming down from a trip is one of the best feelings I've experienced. The confidence and the focus, I've never felt that before. It was a great new experience.

Fifth trip with our friend yet again. The evening that led up to these events didn't start out great. He was angry. And I was anxious. A window got broken. Nothing bad happened but I get scared around people that are angry. Even if I know they'd never hurt me. I felt safe and more reassured around our friend though once we got to her place to trip for the night. My boyfriend nearly had a panic attack beginning of his trip, thinking his wrist was broken. I was getting that scared feeling again and didn't know what to do to comfort him. Which is typically how I already am normally. I also almost had a panic attack until he eventually got over that wave then I started feeling better. I tried to stay focused on the instruments of the music and the snacks I was munching on, to keep myself grounded. We played Cards Against Humanity until we could no longer read the cards. The green in the bowl I packed for us was breathing as much as her plants and I was melting into the couch feeling nothing but the music. She got up to get a drink which got me curious to drink again. I took the bottle and took a sip, nearly spitting it out before the bottle even left my lips. I felt sick. I needed the bathroom and a moment. We came down with an edible and a movie. Wish I could remember the name. Some really old trippy Disney film. Everything was fine until it wasn't when she nearly tried to start an argument with my boyfriend. Something about like father like son, his dad is an abusive piece of shit. To which he told her to stop and she eventually did. She passed out shortly after and we joined not much longer.

To this day I still think about her. I was depressed a few days later and made a Facebook status. I will not go into it, it wasn't a bad status. There wasn't even full context. But she took it to heart and immediately went off. I felt bad and apologized for a handful of times. That I was depressed and it was just a thought, it wasn't that deep. She kicked us both out of her life and last I heard she's gone off her rocker. Going off on everybody, even family. I think, "Did I cause this?" But then I remind myself it was a minor status with zero context and she refused to communicate properly. I did apologize multiple times as well so what more could I do? I've learned to accept it and move on. I still wish her well and hope she gets better. Maybe something during the trip triggered her and she ended up having a bad time in the end. Or did something happen between her and my boyfriend? They'd been best friends for twenty years so I just found it odd. She's the type that would say something though if something were to happen so I try not to fall down that road again. He doesn't even seem to be bothered by his best friend for that long to cut him out. I still can't wrap my head around it but again, I try not to think about it. He's not good with feelings, to begin with. I had another solo trip a few months later.

My sixth trip, which actually wasn't even supposed to be a trip. I'd been reading up on micro-dosing and wanted to try it for myself. Now before this, I had started drinking more again. I also had stopped my Welbutrin for a whole month, thinking it wasn't even helping. Long story short, it was and I learned the hard way but now I know I need it. My grief was pretty heavy as well. I blended my "micro-dose" into a protein shake only to throw it up probably twenty minutes later. Right away I felt it hit me, I had goofed. I started laughing and saying, "Oh shit." I turned my music on our Bluetooth bathroom light, fancy right? The bass in that cheap thing is so good it had me trapped in the bathroom for a good while. About a good hour later I manage to find my way to the bedroom to watch the Hangover. It was one of my dad's favorites and I enjoyed it just as much. There was a lot of laughter and random tears thrown into the mix. It felt therapeutic. I felt good. Depressed for a while and had a few black-out drinking nights after but I came through and felt better than ever.

Recently, I had a seventh trip. With a different friend. A better friend. It was his first experience and he's been dealing with grief too. It was as chill of a night as we could make it, besides a few people disrupting the peace here and there. It still wasn't awful. I was handed a Four Loko by someone, I didn't want it but I was curious, like always. It was a new flavor or something, I nearly spit that out too. And let me just say I had a few drinks an hour or two before tripping and those had me feeling sick for a while. So, I didn't really want any more alcohol that night. And then I see someone I still care about. "Needing" alcohol. It hurt to see. It was a familiar sight. I wanted to do something but nothing came up, and I just wanted us to have a good time. I had to evacuate, I left the room without looking back. After all, how am I supposed to help someone when I still battle my own demons whenever any minor inconvenience happens?

Right now that I'm writing this experience I've had an open Twisted Tea next to me for a couple hours. I only took one sip of it and it wasn't a good experience. The taste was so bitter. I might even dump it out, and I never believe in dumping out alcohol. Or I might drink it.

The second sip in doesn't taste as atrocious but it's still not enjoyable and I'm no longer in a happy mindset. Depression and irritation are hitting me. Throwing this out is the right thing to do. I don't want to feel worse.

I'm not saying Mushrooms are a cure at all. But my will and care to drink has gone down enormously.

And I'm finally finding the real me. Alcohol and pills blurred my vision so much that I ended up on the wrong path and it feels good to be steered in the right direction.

Don't get me wrong, I still get thoughts almost daily that I need to drink or that I need to pop that bottle of pills. I even still try to physically drink when the cravings hit me too hard, like tonight. That doesn't last long before I get sick.

It's literal fucking poison and I want to stay away. I need to get away. My body can't take it anymore and it's time to listen to those messages now. My dad wouldn't want that life for me, right? He was an addict too.

A relapse will still happen from time to time but shit happens. Sometimes you have to accept that failure and keep learning from it. Eventually, it'll get through to you be it by psychedelics, losing everything/everyone, or even potentially nearly losing your life.

My focus and creativity are back more than ever and I've been at my happiest these past couple of weeks. I seem to learn something new about myself and surprise myself every day, it's become a healthy addiction to keep finding myself and healing from all this trauma.

My depression comes and goes in quick waves now, it doesn't sit and bubble up for weeks and drag me down anymore. I'm still staying on my Welbutrin though, that was an awful episode I put my boyfriend and everyone else through and let's not let that happen again.

Genuinely don't think I would be here if I never met Shrooms though. The grief of my dad leaving this world would have swallowed me whole. But I now know I did all I could and his passing isn't my fault in any way. Cancer is just a bitch.

I'll forever miss you I know you wouldn't want to see me suffer again. So I'll get up and live for you and keep making you proud. I remember you telling me to get out there and live my life and just be happy. Not sad.

I also appreciate the friend that did introduce me, despite kicking me out of her life. I wish nothing but the best for her.

[yther]

not sleeping or eating well and then exhaustion in high temps wearing my dark jacket layer (yes dumb but I burn xtra cwispy) was so dumb.

rambling braindead vent below, mentally fried

I walked on a bad injury and I should have been more responsible and it's frustrating when the anxious energy + excitement equated to:

I drank at a water fountain for 2 minutes after walking uhhhhhhhhh at least 10miles in full sun 90's F, no proper prep, or rests on my leg after a big knee ouch day before last. Then I did another several hour night walk (at least 5 more miles? lotsa confused circles and backtracking) through the pain and got so lost in the dark but I tried I tried I really did, and I think other ppl tried to help

(part of my penance/punishment? even so, I actively chose that.. full Dip mode and I don't regret it)

and idk if it actually matters but I really want people to know I didn't mean to fail objective or willingly choose being Actually Too Stupid or malicious teehee No Care or something. I am so sorry for everything

I did a bad self-care and it's bad timing socially because my dumb ass Tried Way Too Hard and I don't know if certain people know that I...

I really really really pushed it and I wouldn't undo things; I just know it might give a wrong impression. Beyond tired, I was elated to burn through every ATP molecule running around the town in laps, and feel...free?

but it was not smart and that's on me

and now I should really rest rest my leg, and for longer now so... feels bad man

I am awake frustrated with myself for... everything kinda. Because I know better and it's my adult body that I'm ultimately responsible for!

but I chose to ignore that and lean into recklessness/pride, like I needed to prove to myself that I could be 110% fit & healthy me again overnight, if I just went full motivation and believed it hard enough. and like my dog I really couldn't feel the pain at first because of elated sunny vibes until it was a seriously Bad Ouch to walk situation (joints, not healthy exercise pains, or even the heat sick)

I just want people to know I really tried, even if that's supposed to be embarrassing! I want everyone to know I have no sense of direction and I really really really really tried my best. And I am a shitty friend for lots of reasons but today/yesterday was not on purpose at all and I'm sorry if I messed something up. I'm really sorry

I wanted to get in the game, whatever the game was

[smollobsession]

17.12.23

So a lot has happened... this will just be written as I remember things :D I've restarted online Korean lessons! The new teacher seems lovely. The goal now is to also open the grammar book soon :D

This weekend I've done a lot of clothes shopping. 2xjeans, bras, shirt, 4xleggins, 2xsweatpants... i spent so much money :( but i really ran out of clothes. shirts i have plenty of but trousers and dresses all went through a lot.

I also put away clothes I don't fit right now. I bought 2 more boxes at pepco and emptied my wardrobe of things I don't need, put them up in the loft. I also threw away 10 bulky bras that were taking up so much space and that I no longer wear.

Speaking of the loft, i finally took the sheets off the bed and washed them. ... now waiting patiently for step 2 :P putting them back on and wanting to sleep there.

And, speaking of clothes I don't fit. Weekends are a problem. I'm eating well during the week and then the weekend comes and I undo it all. I definitely need to plan on Friday and do the shopping so I stop eating sweets and ordering lunches that aren't good for me but uh >< the struggle is real.

I was supposed to meet Mr.I last weekend but I cancelled it because I felt sick and then this week he did the same so we pushed it to next year :D

I made plans with E to go to Dresden next weekend. Tickets purchased :) it'll be just a day trip but I haven't been there in the 8 years I've lived here!

Another place I hadn't visited before that everyone talks about is Stromovka. But a few weeks ago I finally went there :) The weather was horrible for the trip back but it was quite lovely for the actual walk. I took some pics I really like. I also slipped on the ice and fell down in front of a lady with a dog - the dog loved skating on that ice lol :D

I haven't been able to participate in any more protests because they overlap with my work hours, but I did manage to do two things.

I went to a Doctors Without Borders fundraiser for Gaza and bought 800czk worth of things. I got some pins and a little wallet that I sent to L as a part of our server's Xmas exchange. I forgot to put the MSF pin in the envelope but that's not a big problem for reasons I'll explain later. I am more sad that I didn't make the envelope more fun but I realized too late that if I didn't send it straight away, I wouldn't do it until a week later and that was toooo late.

I also paid for a 2gb esim that I hope will go through to someone in Palestine who needs it.

At the fundraiser I also bought a watermelon hairclip for my watermelon loving friend V. I will give it to her in February when... we go to Singapore and Cambodia together!

After some waiting all flight tickets have been purchased and all accommodation booked. The rest we have to do closer to the date - visas, sim cards, tour bookings etc.

I'm excited :D I'll see L there and bring her the pin - i find it funny because it's in English and Czech so I think it's be hilarious for her to wear it in Singapore. And I'll pick up the season's greetings I ordered through her <3 (which I have yet to pay for!)

We are, by total accident, landing on CNY so we're definitely going to Chinatown first night to experience THAT :D and then one day I'll revisit some parts with V, see some new things in the city too. And 2 days I plan to spend on the beach and doing the treetops walk finally! I'm kinda hoping D will be able to join us but it's unsure as of yet.

And then we're going to Cambodia which will be one big temples viewing trip and genocide museum sadness and food extravaganza. I'm wondering if I should invite E to this trip...

But! I'm trying to not be too excited so for now that's all I'll say about the trip :D

During the absolute worst of weather I finally went to that shop near Mirak to get A the bag. Luckily they still had the white one (sadly no black one for me :( ). On my way back I stopped by the Christmas Market and had an overpriced trdelnik and a nice raid with only 4 people that we won in the last second. It was fun!

I finally finished sense8 a few weeks ago. I have to say it was a bit more boring than I remember it but ok, I'm glad I finished it.

I also finished MDWAP :( I did find out that FINALLY The Unbelievable Truth hosted by David Mitchell is on a podcast so I'm listening to that now, and I've downloaded Dan Carlin's Hardcore Histories, all the free ones, for the next listening. I'm just glad I'm enjoying things again lol.

I watched some music shows - aaa and a gayo, idk which one :D - with the server and had a lot of fun. Han and Seungmin running back to the stage when 3racha FINALLY WON AN AWARD was so much fun :D

And of course, Dan and Phil are back and they are not only doing their Christmas videos but also giving me reasons to share squees with T on whatsapp :D

Feeling some kinda way about all these people right now O.O

[surveysand]

thirty-two.

If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? i don't have a job currently.

Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? no.

Were your parents born in the same country they now live in? yes.

How did you celebrate New Years last year? alone with my dog. i was in my hometown, but both my parents and brother had plans of their own. i didn't mind, though.

What would you do if you found a wallet containing $100 on the street? i'd return it to the address or give it to police.

Have you told anyone you love them today? no.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? around eight.

Are you in any physical or emotional pain right now? both.

What’s the time right now? 6:16 am.

Is the sun still up, or is it dark? the sun is rising now.

Have you seen all The Hunger Games films that have been released so far? yes, it's one of my favorite book/film series.

Is there an automatic fog light in your yard? no.

When was the last time you used the bathroom? a few hours ago.

How many living grandparents do you still have? two.

Are you currently in a relationship? yes.

Have you ever heard people having sex in the next room? no.

What are your plans for the rest of the day? i'm gonna fall asleep soon after taking my dog on his morning walk. it's nice that he gets so worn out after our walks because he sleeps for like, five, hours afterwards and i don't feel bad that my sleep schedule is so off, lol. i also might go to the grocery store to get a few things.

How many times have you been sick this year? a few times.

Is there a garage or carport attached to your house? no.

Were you born somewhere other than a hospital? no.

Have you ever been on a strict diet and exercise regime? i was when i was struggling with an ed, but thankfully, am no longer dealing with that.

Who did you text today, and what did you talk about? haven't texted anyone today yet.

How long do you usually take in the shower? about ten minutes, on average.

Have you ever worked in an office? no.

Who does the grocery shopping in your house? myself, considering i live alone.

How many times have you been out of state that you can remember? too many times to count.

Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? yes.

What time do you plan to wake up tomorrow? probably like one or two pm. my sleep schedule is so fucked.

Have you ever been in serious trouble at work or school? no.

Do you know anyone who struggles with a mental disorder? yes

What’s your go-to activity when you’re bored? watch tiktoks.

Have you ever been vegan or vegetarian? no.

Are you tired right now? yes.

[pochipop]

＃ GENSHIN IMPACT !! ♡ — CARING FOR HIM WHEN HE FEELS UNWELL.

#. synopsis! — you care for him when he gets sick and is a bit too stubborn about it .

#. characters! — diluc, xiao, ayato .

#. warnings! — none .

#. alt accounts! — @ddollipop (nsfw) @yyolkchi (reblog/spam) .

#. others! — navigation & masterlist .

＃ DILUC !! ♡

That morning, Diluc had been showing early symptoms of being unwell. He had a harder time getting out of bed than he normally does, and even when he did manage to lug his body downstairs, he seemed lethargic and fatigued. Of course, you brought it up to him, but like the stubborn man he often is, he denied that anything was truly wrong and insisted to you that he "just needed to work it off." You didn't buy the excuse that he was just tired and hadn't gotten a night of proper rest. Sure, that might have been one part of it, but there was something larger at play: a bigger picture that you certainly weren't blind to.

Because you know Diluc Ragnvindr like the back of your hand.

He trudges in hours early, but once again brushes off your concern for him.

"I just need to lie down for a bit," he says, hands pressing feather-light against your shoulders as he brushes his lips past your temple.

His kiss is weak and does little to reassure you that everything is okay. A "bit" turns into hours, and by the time he wakes back up, the sun is close to setting and he's feeling both useless and delirious. Any attempts he could have made to get up and work through the night to make up for the lost hours are completely halted by you as you walk into the bedroom and find him sitting upright, legs hanging off the bed.

"Diluc, you should rest for a while longer," you tell him, walking over to press the flat of your hand against his forehead.

He's not as warm as he was earlier, but you still suspect that he has a low-grade fever. Lazily, he looks up at you through glassy eyes and mumbles something about being "fine."

"You're not fine," you answer sternly, "—you're sick. Working is only going to make it worse. Right now, you only need to focus on getting better. There's no point in putting more strain on your body like this."

"It's just a cold or something, nothing to worry about," Diluc once again attempts to brush your concerns away.

You smooth your fingers along his hair.

"If that's the case, then it should only take a bit of rest for you to feel better," you retort gently. "Take the day off tomorrow and let me take care of you."

He glances about the room, spotting a full glass of water on the nightstand beside the bed. He sees an extra blanket tangled in with the rest, —one you'd pulled from a closet somewhere in the manor to offer him extra warmth while he slept. It seemed to you that he truly needed it after he began shivering in his sleep, and you were right.

Still, Diluc hesitates.

The last thing he wants is to burden others, but with you. . . Well, simply put, having a day to heal from whatever's going on with you looking after him is almost too good a deal to pass up. And he's ashamed that he's so keen on taking it, but when you look at him with those puppy-dog eyes, he knows he doesn't stand a chance. You've been taking care of him this whole time, too. . .

"I might be contagious," he notes.

"Don't care," you answer with an amused smile, "—I'd rather be with you and catch whatever it is you have than leave you here to deal with it alone."

He sighs.

"Okay," he agrees, "thank you then. I'll take the day off to rest tomorrow, —but I'm going back the next day, alright?"

"Whatever you say, just lie back down. Your eyes look glazed and you still have a bit of a fever.”

You reach out to pull the covers over his body, but he weakly reaches up to capture your wrist in his loose grip. Despite sleeping for hours, his eyelids are obviously heavy, and the moment his head hits the pillow, he’s having a hard time keeping his eyes open. Still, he presses a faint kiss to your fingers and lets out a soft breath that ghosts against your digits.

“Thank you,” he says, although his voice is so soft you almost didn’t hear him. “I love you.”

A smile cracks at your lips, and you take your hand away from his loosening grip to brush a few loose strands of hair out of his face. Even like this, flushed and unwell, he’s a stunning man (both inside and out.) You lean in to kiss his forehead, feeling the slight heat of his lowering fever against your lips.

“I love you too,” you whisper softly in reply.

＃ XIAO !! ♡

You notice very quickly that Xiao doesn’t seem to be himself. Where you’ve always known him to be a nimble and agile individual, he seems to be weighed down by something unseen today; like he’s lugging around an extra heap of weight invisible to the both of your eyes. He’s less coordinated than he typically would be on any other occasion, and he seems a tad off balance as well.

When you bring it up lightly, he seems surprised that you’d even taken notice of it. Still, he shakes his head and insists that he’s fine; telling you he’s feeling alright. A part of you knows that’s a bit of a white lie on his part, but you don’t have the heart to call him out on it in the moment. Resigning yourself to simply watching over him for a bit, you don’t mention the way he barely picks at his fresh plate of almond tofu, and you somehow manage to keep your lips sealed when he rests his head against your shoulder for a bit, as if seeking your warmth out.

Seeing him stumble is the final straw for you though. It was like his legs simply gave out, weakening under him like the very ground had been rocked from side to side beneath his feet.

“I think you should come lie down,” you say, making sure to keep your voice low.

While you largely expected him to force his back straighter, keep his head up high, and insist that he didn’t need to do anything of the sort, —he’s surprisingly compliant. Xiao knows his body though, you suppose, and it’s hard to ignore the not-so-subtle tells that have become even more glaringly obvious as the day has gone by.

“Although I’m loath to admit it, you’re right,” he nods softly. “I can’t perform my duties like this.”

While that’s hardly the aspect you’re worried most about, if it gets him into bed, then it’ll do just fine. (For the time being, anyway.)

Xiao slinks home with you, choosing not to use anymore of his strength to move about at the speed of light. It takes longer, but it drains him a whole lot less. By the time you help him into bed, he’s hardly able to hold a coherent conversation. Your best guess is that all his recent responsibilities have begun to weigh too heavily on him, leaving him sluggish and exhausted. It would certainly make sense if that were the case.

“I apologize for. . .” Xiao pauses, either hesitating to finish the sentence or searching for the right words to say, “—for having been so feeble in front of you.”

You thread your fingers through his hair the way you know he likes, gently massaging at his scalp. He closes his eyes to feel the sensation better.

“Don’t apologize for that,” you tell him in a soft voice. “You don’t always have to be strong. When times like this come around, I’ll be here to share the weight. Promise.”

Xiao isn’t sure what to say in response, and his mind is pretty hazy from the fog covering his brain, but he lets himself melt under your touch (unabashedly so.) Whether he realizes it or not, he even leans into it, seeking it out; though you’re not sure if it’s just for the feeling, or if it’s comforting to him as well.

He hums, letting you know that he was listening. With a bit of rest, he’ll be fine. It’s definitely nothing serious. Even so, you watch over him while he sleeps, periodically checking his forehead just to make sure he hasn’t spiked a fever. That time never comes, thankfully. But when he’s lying there so peacefully, it’s easy to get lost in the way his lips part ever so slightly, —in the way he makes soft, cute little noises in his sleep. It’s easy to forget that this adorable, slumbering man in your bed is less of a man in his day-to-day life and more of a well-oiled machine that slits through monsters with ease and precision.

To you though, he’s just Xiao, —and sometimes, that’s all he really wants to be anyway.

＃ AYATO !! ♡

Though Ayato does his best not to let it show, you quickly realize that he’s a bit out of it today. Even so much as sitting behind his desk filling out commonplace paperwork that he sees and signs on the regular seems to be a daunting task for him, leaving him rubbing at his eyes until the skin around them has gone red. The tea you bring him around lunchtime goes completely untouched, which is a surefire sign that something isn’t right with him.

It was his favorite flavor, and yet he didn’t take a single sip. That alone told you everything you needed to know, —but if that wasn’t enough, Ayato also found himself dozing off at his desk. Such a thing is staggering coming from the likes of him, and the moment you enter his office to check on him and find him in such an uncomfortable looking position, you’re shaking his shoulder to wake him up.

“Ayato,” you say softly, waiting for his eyelids to peel back and reveal the glimmer of his irises.

When they do, his eyes are glazed over and perhaps a bit unfocused. Even for having just woken up, it was unusual, and you press the flat of your hand against his forehead to check his temperature.

“You’re a bit warm, but I’m not sure if it’s a fever,” you state. “Still, you should come rest in your room instead of sleeping in here. A pillow will be a lot more comfortable than your desk.”

He does his best to sit upright, but there’s a weakened slump to his posture that you suppose is only natural for his less than tip-top shape.

“I shouldn’t,” he shakes his head. “I appreciate your concern for me, my love, but there’s much that needs to be done today.”

He gestures to his desk, the one he’d been napping on fitfully just moments ago, where disorganized stacks of papers line the front edge. It’s always like this. You know how hard Ayato works, and you’re constantly in awe of his stamina for it, —but now definitely isn’t the time for him to be pushing his own limits, and that much is evident.

“I’m sure someone else could take care of these, no?” You question, cupping his cheek with your hand. “You’re flushed, and you didn’t touch your tea from earlier.”

His gaze falls on the undrunken milk tea and his expression drops into one of guilt.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, “I must have forgotten and then dozed off. . .”

You shake your head, speaking up again to clarify your point.

“I don’t care so much about the drink itself, —it’s just not like you to not drink it,” you explain.

Ayato sighs: “I am feeling a little under the weather.”

His admission comes as no shock to you, but now that that’s out of the way, you simply hope he’ll lower his pride a bit and push his duties to the wayside for now. It’s best he not complete them in this state anyway, both for the integrity of the work itself, and for his own well being.

“You should come rest,” you suggest again.

It’s clear that he’s hesitant, but in the end, his ailing body wins out. Ayato is painfully tired, and all he really wants to do is sleep, and you were completely right when you mentioned that his bed would be worlds more comfortable than resting at his desk. From there, he’s compliant. You find someone else to take care of the paperwork, then return to Ayato’s side. He’s half-asleep by the time you slip in through the sliding entrance.

“Can I get you anything?” You ask, keeping your voice soft.

You take his relative temperature with your hand again, just to be sure.

“I’m alright,” he says, a small smile gracing his elegant features. “Thank you for looking after me.”

Brushing a few loose strands of hair out of his handsome face, you lean down to press a soft kiss to his forehead.

“Rest up, I’ll come check on you again in a bit.”

[yandere-sins]

I see that ur request is open, u don't have to do mine (I just rly wanna see how this gonna turn out 🤡)

But may i request a yandere farmer x fem reader

(I'm not rly into any fandom so you can just pick any or Rhys is fine too 👀)

My jam, and you know what? I owe everyone named Alex something, so let me create this wonderful buff farmer!yandere named Alex who I don’t kill off this time, I promise. Enjoy!

I uh, did hint at my ideas for yandere farmers with Milo from Pokémon before so yeah. Let’s go over that again, shall we? I’ll give a warning for pet play for those unfamiliar.

Rated Lime

»»———————— ♡ ————————««   

It’s still early in the morning when you hear the jarring sound of the barn door opening. For a moment, you hope that all you experienced for the last few days had been a dream, but your body still aches from sleeping on the cold ground, revealing the heavy truth. You can hear the chipper, “Good morning, ladies!” as the cows start to moo in response, the unbearable smell of fecal and urine drifting towards you with the fresh air coming in from outside.

It’s time to get up, scream, do something! But you blink a few times, your swollen eyes barely opening after you cried yourself to sleep last night, and you look at the iron cuffs around your wrists. Why even trying? you ask yourself, immediately discarding the thought and pushing yourself from the floor. No, it’s too early to give up. You can’t let yourself down like this yet.

“And good morning, Sunshine.” The voice next to you makes you flinch as you look up into the chestnut eyes of your captor. He tips his cap, smiling. You’re disgusted by his presence alone, but a sweet smell comes your way. Leaning over the wooden barriers he put up as your ‘pen’, Alex holds a plate in his hands, pancakes stacking up on top of it with blueberries rolling off of them. The food is still warm, steam visibly rising from them in the colder morning air.

He looks at you expectantly when you don’t make a move, only trying to hide the saliva building in your mouth. You haven’t had a homemade breakfast in a long time, much less proper food in the last few days. There is no telling if your body can still stomach something as delicious as pancakes, but you prefer it so much more than the weird grain mix he also feeds to the cows and would shove down your throat. “Thought you might be hungry, Babe,” he smiles as he sees the desire in your eyes, his own gaze never straying from you, taking in every last flinch and move of yours.

In a way, you are like a wild animal to him, that much he told you. He restricted your movements with chains, fed you like cattle, and treated you like a dog, cooing and using the carrot and stick method to handle you. It’s disgusting, but by now, you at least feel as dirty as one. Using the fork he brought along, Alex cuts off a piece from the breakfast, eating from it first, his eyes staring into yours as he does it. Did he do it to show he didn’t poison it? Does he want to claim this plate of pancakes for himself? But why would he bring it to you in the first place if that’s the case?

Still chewing, he puts the fork down, pulling another pancake piece off the plate with his bare fingers, and holds it out to you. He was eager to lessen the distance between you and him from day one, but his dirty methods made you want to spit in his face. Stomach growling, you are at a loss of what to do. If you let him feed you like a dog, there was no way he’d keep it at that, but perhaps this was your only chance on receiving actual, human food he’d give you if you refuse him.

Your chains rattle as you scoot closer, refusing to play the captured animal and crawl on all fours. Every muscle of yours is sore and hurt from the cold, but there is no other way, the chains around your wrists and ankles keeping you down with their weight. Instead, you stretch your neck as far as possible, your back tensing up in response until your mouth is under his fingers and the piece of pancake hanging from them. But Alex doesn’t just let the food go, watching you with an excited grin as you carefully put the piece between your teeth. Only then does he let go, and you are able to claim the sweet sensation on your tongue as yours.

Eager, Alex holds out another piece, and you take it without even swallowing the first one completely. Something in you completely set out as your brain is satisfied with sugary sweet and fluffy pancakes melting in your mouth, their warmth going through your whole body. You are hooked on the rush of food, you don’t notice your tongue lapping up the syrup on his fingers with the next piece of pancake until it’s too late. But Alex notices, his lips immediately turning into a disgusting grin of self-satisfaction, and he reaches for your face, fingers curling under your chin and thumb rubbing over your cheek.

Immediately, you shy away, disgusted by his touch and disappointed in yourself that you didn’t see it coming. In the reflection of his wide-open, maniacally staring eyes, you can see how dirty and disgusting you are after living like a barn animal for days, and that is precisely how Alex sees you. An animal that he just touched for the first time. Who came to him of their own free will. To him, it is progress. To you, despair.

“Come,” he entices, luring you with more pancakes, but you feign disinterest. “Don’t be scared now. I know you like it.”

The pancakes? Yes. Him? Not at all.

“You need to eat to get big and strong, you know?”

“I’m not a baby animal,” you hiss back, putting on the meanest glare you can muster.

“You sure act like one,” Alex reminds you tauntingly, his smile unfading but his expression less amused than it had been before. “Licking at my fingers, coming to me for food. Don’t you think that’s what a good pet does? You’ve been holed up in your corner for too long. You should be more grateful for my efforts, just like the cows.”

Gnawing at your lip, your eyes fall from his to the pancake slowly growing cold. Only now do you realize he has been feeding you with these fingers of his without your knowledge if they were dirty or clean. Being a farmer, you never know where he puts them before approaching you, and you grow more disgusted for having fallen into this trap he had laid out for you.

Suddenly, for the first time, you hear him sigh. Even when he scratched his head and wondered what to do with you before, he never once had sighed. Somehow, it makes you shudder, a bad feeling spreading in your stomach as he hangs his head, shaking it.

“I’m not asking much, you know. Here’s the deal.” His eyes are ice-cold as he looks up again, and Alex roughly throws the piece of pancake to the floor right in front of you. It no longer looks appetizing, but you are more afraid of the man before you than the wasted food. “Eat it,” he orders commandingly, fitting this whole scenario he imagines you two to play in.

“Ew, no--” you want to protest, furrowing your brows when he interrupts you harshly by throwing the whole plate, including the pancakes, to the ground inside your pen. “In less than an hour, your whole fucking pen will be swarmed by ants. But I’ve got something better for you.”

Pointing to the piece of food before you, Alex repeats, “Eat it,” and this time, you don’t dare to respond. “Eat, and you can come inside with me.”

At this, your ears perk up, eyes widening. “I-Inside?” you ask, doubting that he meant what he said. “Yeah. I prepared a nice box for you in the house, warm and cozy. Clean water and a hot shower included, but I need to know that you are willing to listen to me, you understand?”

Body trembling, you sit there like a deer in the headlights. This is too good to be true, and you fear how high the price is that you’d have to pay if agreed. Listening to him can’t possibly be the only thing he’d want once you were inside, but you watch as the first few flies come over from the cows, wanting to get a piece of the delicious breakfast wasted on the ground. You’d have no peace if you stayed here - never.

Your hand reaches out but just as quickly pulls back. “What will we do inside?” you squeak, unable to control your anxious stuttering. Now that Alex’s lips curl back into a smile, you see his sinister side for the first time. He is leaning casually onto the barricade, but his whole demeanor changed into something horrifying, something that gives you the vibes of a sick and twisted person more than ever. “Don’t ask, just decide. Eat and come inside with me, or stay here between cows, piss, and shit. Maybe you can be useful for milk production?”

The pure horror of thinking about what that fate would entail makes you go weak, and in less than a few seconds, you had gobbled up the piece of pancake, stuffing it into your mouth. Immediately you feel the recoil of your body after doing something so disgusting, but you hold back from spitting it out, already having come so far. “Good girl,” he praises you in a belittling tone like you’d use for pets and children. Opening up your pen by unlocking the many locks he had put on for safety, Alex doesn’t mind the food on the ground, neither slipping on it and breaking his neck like you hoped for, nor having shards of the plate go through his boots.

“Give me your hand,” he asks, holding his own out until you slowly lift yours into his. The chains are way too heavy, but the fear keeps you working even though your wrists are open wounds from the chafing cuffs. “Good,” he keeps praising, repeating the progress for your other hand. “You’re learning so quickly, look at you. Attagirl!”

You don’t dare to rub your bleeding wrists as they are finally free, but a giant boulder falls from your heart as you feel relief set in. “Damn, you do need a good bath, though,” Alex mutters as he sits down beside you, proceeding to uncuff your ankles. You feel a sense of shame, not being able to smell yourself anymore but not wanting to imagine it either.

Finally, you are free of all restrains, but before you can try doing anything funny, Alex picks you up in his arms, his broad chest in front of your face and the smell of aftershave and sweat filling your nose. You didn’t know that was how he smelled. After all, he brought you here unconscious, and when you woke up, you were already in this shitty pen, cuffed and gagged for the first two days.

“Feeling good?” he asks you as he notices how quiet you’ve gotten, not much left of your spiteful self that would scream and curse at him before. You nod slowly, not looking up. Looking at him from close-up might cause you to puke after all, and you’ve worked too hard to get to this point. Alex gives you a rough, scolding shake, and you instinctively grip onto his shirt. “Tell me.”

“Yes...” you mumble, hoping that will be enough to satisfy him, and Alex gives you another sigh before shrugging lightly and adjusting you in his arms. “That’s something we can work on,” he promises you for another time, and you keep your head low as he carries you outside.

It’s been way too long that you saw the morning dew on the grass, fog covering the fields in the distance, and the sun only starting to fully rise above you. It makes you look up in awe, unknowingly being observed by a curious pair of eyes from above. Being outside again almost makes the trouble worth it, and you are able to find happiness in this small victory.

But you have yet to grasp the consequences of your decision. Even if it looked great in the image you had in your mind, you aren’t aware of the state of the house inside, what was waiting for you behind the pretty facade of a farmer’s home. The demands he has of you that Alex had yet to reveal and how eager he was to train his adorable little darling. Make you just as dependant and obsessed with him as his animals were, while you’d share their place at the end of the bed for a long time.

And you didn’t even know about the collar yet.

»»———————— ♡ ————————««  

A/N: Oh god, I haven’t written anything in the present tense for a loooong time. I hope it was readable! Sorry in advance if I messed up occasionally, I tried to get everything sorted out properly... >_< Still, a very enjoyable write and I hope the read as well!

[sinnertae]

A Mate's Call || VMIN-OC (1)

Genre: f, s, a

Pairing: Human!Taehyung × Alpha!Jimin × Alpha!Saie (OC @mintaes )

Warnings: little space, puppy space. memberxmemberxOC

Summary: Taehyung finally finds his safe place.

-> M.list

It had been a long day at work, and she wanted nothing but to crawl back inside her bed and sleep the weekend away. But on reaching home, she remembers Jimin is away again, which means a cold bed and that makes her feel even more miserable. After taking a bath, she decides to call her boyfriend, knowing he'd be awake considering the time difference. Waiting for his face to pop up on her screen, she sits with bleary eyes. "Jiminie... I miss you!" She says as soon as he answers the call.

“Hey baby, nice to see you too.” Jimin mocks, laying down on his bed with a pillow under his chest.

“I miss you too.” Jimin said, looking at you with admiration in his eyes. He could not wait to get back home to you, his precious mate. “How was your day?” Jimin asked, closing his tired eyes for a moment. He wished that he could see your face every time he closed his eyes, but the only thing he could see were all the papers he went through last night.

"I'm sorry. I just—" She quickly wipes at her tears, looking at his puffy morning face fondly. "My day was okay. Just had a couple of meetings about the merger. The legal team loves breaking my head over it." She sighs in frustration, blinking her tears away. "How was your week? It's only Friday morning for you, right?" Carefully taking in his tired features, she sighs sadly. "You need to take better care of yourself, honey. I miss you so much... home doesn't feel it without you here."

“I will, Jagi-ya, but hear me out. I thought about it and I know how stubborn you can be and having pups now it's not an option. So…. How about we adopt one?” He suggests, rubbing his tired eyes. Jimin thought about it for a long time, long enough to find a website and meet a boy. He was born the same year as Jimin, did not know his parents, and was in a shelter with two friends.

“Not a real dog, of course, nor a baby. I found a website, where you can adopt one who's a Little with puppy space.” He explained, tapping on his phone to find the link.

"Adopt?" She sniffles softly, looking at him more clearly to see if he was being serious. It was true she wanted to have his pups, feed them and spoil them with love. But will it be the same way with someone adopted? "I don't know, Jimin... Are you sure? I know I crib about being lonely whenever you're away. I want your pups so I can have a piece of you with me all the time, nurse them and love them. Will adopting one be the same? What if you don't bond with them after you come back?"

“No, Jagi! What I meant was to adopt a human. You know how other packs treat them, why don't we save one? Your Alpha will have someone to take care of, and he is an adult, but we all know that he was trained to be a good pet for werewolves.” Jimin said, feeling sorry for all the young humans who are fighting for their lives right now. “I’ve already found a boy who was forced to be, act like a puppy.”

Her heart instantly clenches at his words. It was true, some of her kind were sick enough to treat humans like that. "A human? Like a rescue?" She asks Jimin softly, thinking about it. But the wolf in her was already yipping inside to say yes. They'll no longer be lonely, even if their mate wasn't around. They will have someone to take care of like their own pup. "I guess, yes... You know this boy too, so your wolf will be okay with him around. When do you think I can go bring him home?"

“I’ve already talked to him through a website and I asked him to send me a picture. He's so skinny, Jagi.” He whined, trying to forget about it. Even though Jimin has transferred some money onto the boy’s account, Jimin first had to create for him, he had no idea if the pup bought himself something to eat. “I will send you his picture in a bit. He's gorgeous and sweet.” He said, looking for the picture he mentioned early. “His name is Taehyung.”

She instantly wants to get rid of the look of distress on her mate's face even if he was miles away. Looking at the picture, she felt her own wolf whine at how skinny the boy looked. "He's so cute. But looks weak... oh, poor baby!" It was out of instinct she calls Taehyung her baby, her mind already made up and her hands yearning to hold him. "We must adopt him, Jiminie. I want to give him a safe home and everything he ever wants. I'll go bring him home immediately!" She tells him eagerly.

“I am sending the link right now. Youu can talk to him there. Also could you ask our friends if they don't want to addpt one too? Taehyung told me about his best friend, he is looking for a home as well.“ Jimin shared all the information he had, eyes focused on the small screen so he won't miss his wife's reaction. “It sounds bad, awful even, but I've already bought him. You just need to go pick him up. Address is on the website.” He says after a few minutes of silence on the line, his wolf growling at the choice of words.

She quickly notes the address down, the word 'bought' not sitting well with her. But she was glad she had such an amazing mate who cared about everyone else. "I will. I'll let the entire pack know so someone can adopt his best friend too. You did well, Jimin. I'll go pick him up now and call you later once he's settled in." She smiles at him softly. "You should rest for a little while longer, go sleep. I love you!" She tells him, blowing a kiss at her phone screen.

“I have a day off, so call me as soon as you are back with him. Oh and tell him that we will help his friend. Love you!”Jimin said before ending the call. He swapped his thumb across the screen, going through the pictures of Taehyung that the adoption center has uploaded few months ago. He was handsome but in Jimin's eyes he was more like pretty than handsome. The round, chocolate brown eyes and the pouty lips he could spent hours on kissing.

Jimin sit up quickly, sobering from his daydream. He did not mean it, he could not. Or could he?

She nods her head at his words waving him goodbye before going to pull her coat back on again while texting the number Jimin gave her. 'Text: Hi Taehyung, this is Jimin's mate. He just told me about you and I'm on my way to pick you up. I can't wait to meet you.' She sends it and starts the car, switching on the navigation to lead her to the address. It was one of those shelters where they sell rescued humans. She stops the car and heads in, asking for Taehyung at the front desk.

“Wait here, I will get him for you.” The employee said, with a fake smile one her face. She was a beta, and usually wolves like her end up working in such place. It was easy to tell that she has no pack nor mate. Mateless, lonely wolf. It happens more often lately, that young people can not find thier other half

“Are you at the shelter now?” Jimin asked via text message. “I'm so excited even though, I will meet him in a few weeks :(”

-> Part 2

[bullyhunter--69]

"She's so sweet, really."

Pairing: Izuku x fem!reader

Summary: When you and Izuku started dating, you were as happy as could be. He was beyond sweet and caring, and helped you forget about the bad in your life. But after he introduces you to his mother, Inko, and you start to be a more frequent visitor at the Midoriya household, you realize it's starting to take a bigger affect on you than you thought it would. Why can't your mother be like that?

Tw: mentions of family issues/absent family/family death, bottling up emotions and eventually breaking, a stressed Izuku, ends with soft fluff

A/N: This turned out so much longer and more angsty than planned but I'm really proud of it, tell me what you guys think! 🖤 (This is also my first ever angst written so--)

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Today was a beautiful fall day. Colorful leaves fell around you, the sky was tinged with a deep orange, and the soft grass beneath you made your time all the more comfy. You were snuggled next to Izuku beneath a huge tree on campus, who was currently going on and on about his latest quirk findings. The goal you guys originally had set was to review for the upcoming test, but the topic quickly shifted to Izukus day once your fingers intertwined with his and you inquired about it.

"-and so then once I asked Mr. Aizawa about it I found that- Hey.. are you okay (Y/N)?" You really were listening, but had found that you zoned out. Izukus concerned, soft voice brought you back to reality, and a small smile crawled it's way onto your features. "Yeah 'zuku, I'm all good.. I just was thinking about some stuff and was focusing on your voice. It always helps." You ended your reply with a squeeze of his hand, which all together resulted in his face blooming into a shade of deep red.

"Well, uh.. T-thank you, I'm happy to help!" He stuttered out as he felt butterflies all throughout his body. "Oh, also!" Izuku started, turning his body to face you more, holding your hands in his lap with a nervous look in his eyes. "(Y/N), I was wondering.. we've been together for a bit now and I.. I want my mom to meet you."

As soon as the word 'mom' reached your ears, you tensed up. It was always a sensitive topic, even if it wasn't your parental relationships in question. You knew Izuku had noticed, as the hold on your hands got tighter. "I understand if you're scared or nervous but I know She's gonna love you! She already says you're really pretty and smart just basing off what I've shown her.. she really is looking forward to it, and we don't have to stay long if you don't want to." The gentle rub of his thumb on the back of your hand and the puppy dog eyes was enough to soothe your nerves. If Izuku talked so highly of you to her, and if she was anything like him at all, you figured it wouldn't be that bad to meet her. She would be your mother-in-law someday, so you might as well get it out of the way now and not later.

When the day finally came, you were beyond nervous. The thought of meeting Izuku's mother and her not liking you made a wave of sickness and dread fill every inch of your body. Whether it was a friend, or a boyfriend, meeting mothers always gave you a bad taste in your mouth. It brought back all the feelings that you tried desperately to hide away and fight daily.

See, you were almost fully open with Izuku, but there was one thing he didn't know. Your family, to put it bluntly, was shit. Your mother always belittled you for every single little action you ever made and everything about you. Nothing was ever good enough. As a small child, it was always under-the-table, backhanded compliments with passive aggressive undertones, but after the passing of your father, it turned into raw, brutal words. She was never proud, and never actually loved you, she just used your desire to be a good daughter against you. It was cold, hard, manipulative behavior which resulted in you finally refusing to talk to her after you got accepted into U.A. The mental gymnastics you had to go through to hide all of this, especially from Izuku, was taking a toll on you. You never talked of family and never left the dorms, and had an.. unusual amount of luggage stored away in your room. It seemed like you packed your entire life up in a suitcase and ran.

Which is essentially what you did.

As bad as it sounds, you never planned on telling your love any of this. You just needed to forget all of the childhood trauma you were put through and focus on showing your mother she was wrong. Everything she said about your quirk being useless, to you being intolerable and a bad daughter, would be proved wrong. But, the biggest thing you planned to show her? Is that your father would be proud. She always used him against you, and you'd be damned if you wouldn't prove that point the most ridiculous of them all.

A soft knocking on your dorm brought you out of your deep thoughts, and your gaze slid to the door. Your hands shot to your face and you quickly dried your tears. "O-one second, I'm still changing!" You knew in the pit of your gut that it was Izuku coming to pick you up, and your thoughts were confirmed when you heard him on the other side of your locked door. "Alrighty baby, take your time!" God, he sounded so sweet.. this was hell keeping from him, but it kept him from worrying.

The night went on so much better than expected, and it genuinely surprised you. You had never met a woman as sweet as Inko was. She cooked your favorite food and had your favorite drinks, and even baked you your favorite dessert. She asked about how you were doing in school and once the topic of your quirk was brought up, she was beyond ecstatic to hear you talk about it. She even added on how she felt it would be useful in battle. The night was amazing. Nothing felt real, it all was like the fantasies you made up while lying in bed at 4am sobbing, so sleep deprived you almost can't move to get ready for your class that starts in just a few hours. It's what you've always wanted in a mom-- a beautiful, sweet woman who cares.

Why can't your mother be like that?

As the weeks went on and Izuku kept inviting you over for weekly dinner and game nights with him and Inko, you found it harder and harder to conceal exactly how much your mental health was struggling. Yes, you absolutely adored both your loving boyfriend and his equally loving mother, but it was just so fucking.. hard. Every smile she gave you, the loving, motherly twinkle in her eyes when she talked to Izuku, the amazing dinners, the endless support for both of you, the pictures she insisted on taking of you and Izuku-- it was all too much. You started to dwell on this every single night, and resent yourself for how much anger and jealousy you felt. This wasn't right, but you couldn't help it. It wasn't your fault that your mother hated you for every fiber of your being and Izuku had the best mother imaginable. He was your boyfriend, you should be happy.. right?

You didn't realize how hard you had been sobbing until there was a hushed yet firm knock on your dorm door. The tears that blurred your vision made it even harder to read the clock on your nightstand through the pitch black room you sat in, huddle up in a pile of blankets, All Might plushies and Izuku's hoodies.

9:54 p.m.

The pain that was radiating through your torso from the wreck you had become from however long you had actually been crying was torture. It felt like needles were being shoved into your lungs and your heart was being squeezed in a vice grip. Breathing felt impossible. Your throat was raw. But the thing that hurt the absolute worst, out of everything?

"(Y/N)? Baby, please let me in.." Little Izuku's voice sounded like the biggest bomb going off, the jiggle of your door knob making emergency alarms go off in your head. There wasn't any possible way to get out of this, and this might just be your biggest fear. Facing those soft emerald eyes and that sweet smile that has been open and honest with you over the entirety of your entire relationship, and even before. Telling the love of your life all the trauma you've endured, and then willingly decided to hide from him. No.. it's the disappointment that you're positive will shine through his features that's truly your biggest fear.

You don't know how long he had been listening, but one second was more than enough for you to know Izuku wasn't going to leave. He loved you endlessly and never left without making sure you had a smile on your face. So, with limbs that felt like cement, eyes that felt as if you were crying spikes, and an aching heart, you got up and made your way to unlock the door. It took a minute-- your hold on the cold knob firm and extremely hesitant.

3... 2.. 1.

Finally, Izuku had enough room to gently push your door open, and his breath was taken away when he saw you as the golden light from the dormitory hallway illuminated your entirely wrecked appearance.

Bloodshot eyes, make up filled tears streaming down both checks, snot dripping down to you mouth. The cuffs of his hoodie that covered your shaking body were soaked in black, wet mascara. Your hair was messy and tangled. You were.. broken.

After taking in every little detail of your appearance, a struggled gasp last your body when his arms were suddenly around you. The touch of his warmth around you was electrifying, and instantly brought you to your knees. As Izuku shut and locked the door behind him, still holding you in his strong arms, he sighed softly. "What's wrong?"

These are some of the only words that you really didn't want to come out of his mouth. They stung and tore through your heart like the sharpest of blades. They made you regret not opening up sooner, his tone overflowing with worry, fear, and dread. You knew not to make eye contact, but you couldn't even if you wanted to. Once those words entered your ears, soft and delicate as if you would shatter into a million pieces if he spoke too hard, another strangled sob was unleashed out of what felt to be your core.

"S-she's just so sweet.." Your voice, although strained and crackling, came out with an emotion Izuku had never heard from you before. A mixture of jealousy, rage, disappointment, and disgust is all he could pick out, but it sounded like something was hidden beneath it all. Something that you didn't know how to express, so emotions just came seeping out of you in the easiest way.

Picking you up was an easy task, as your body had long ago given up the fight to stay standing. The sweet boy made his way to your bed and sat with you cradled to his chest, your nose tucking away in the crook of his neck instantly to breath in his scent. It calmed you-- he calmed you, but you couldn't help but to shamefully pull your head away and look across the room.

"(Y/N), you have to tell me more. Who is 'she'? I want to help you.." His voice still held a delicate tone, his fingers combing through your hair with one hand and the other still holding you tightly. After what seemed like forever of Izuku just holding you and letting you cry every single ounce of emotion you held in your body out, your sobs slowly came to a stop and you took a soft, shaking sigh.

It was time to come clean.

"'Z-zuku, I'm sorry.." You started, slowly and steadily while trying to steady your breath further. The gentle back rubs from his warm hands helped sooth you, and gave you the strength to continue.

"I haven't been exactly.. truthful with you." As you took a second to find your words and sniffle, you could sense Izuku tilt his head to the side curiously. "You always ask if I'm okay-- if I'm happy-- and I always say that I am. I love you so incredibly much and you do make me feel happy and safe and welcomed and-" Your ramble was cut off with a kiss to your temple, which was a silent signal of Izukus trust and time.

"Because of how incredibly happy you make me, I dont want you thinking that this is your fault at all. Its mine.. I shut you out and bottled myself up when I should have just told you in the first place. I just.. don't know how to say it other than to say it outright."

Your shakey tone made Izukus heart race even more. He was staying calm and supportive on the outside but on the inside, he was a wreck. He was currently going over every single one of his actions, words, and notes that made what you and him were-- absolutely scraping the bottom of the barrel for anything and everything he could have done wrong. That stuff, though, was shoved deep so he could help you, because that was what was important right now.

"I don't.. Izuku, I love you and I love your mother so incredibly much. I feel at home with you guys but it's just so hard. Seeing how sweet and caring she is, how She's invested in both of our lives, how she.. s-she said she loved me.." You body was quickly starting to shake again, so Izuku pulled you in closer. "Why can't my mother be like that?"

There it was. It finally clicked in Izuku's mind. Everytime you avoided the topic of family, how you never had pictures with them, how you never had a place to go to during break, how every day after spending time with him and Inko you seemed drained the next morning as if you had stayed up all night.. it clicked as to what might be wrong, and his suspicions were confirmed when you continued.

"M-my mother hates me and she has my entire life. I have never received an ounce of love or respect from that filthy woman and it's always on my mind. Her degradation and her mocking laugh and her hideous presence. She used my dead fucking dad against me to make me feel like I'd never make it in this world and I just-- I-I want to escape the horrible memories but I can't. I just want a mother like yours.. it's what I've always wanted and I don't understand why I had to be the one stuck with a dead dad and a mockery of a mother. Seeing how absolutely amazing your mom is fills me with love and happiness and a sense of home I've never gotten before but at the end of the day, it just reminds me of how shitty my life was up until I got to U.A. I don't have a mom. I don't have a home. And its not fair that I'm upset over the fact that you having those things happens to remind me of that. I'm sorry."

Izuku was speechless. His comforting ministrations had stopped and he just looked at you. Even with the pitch black void that was your room, his emerald eyes shined bright.. and brimmed with tears.

"I.. I had no idea, baby, I'm so sorry.." Izuku was choosing his words incredibly carefully. He held nothing against you, nor was he upset or disappointed at you. He was a person that could put himself in someone else's shoes very easily and see through their eyes, and your emotional monologue was enough to paint your story for him. He just wanted to comfort you and show you everything was okay.

"I don't want you to be sorry, there isn't any need for you to be. You can't help what your mother put you through, and how horribly unfair to you that it was. Nobody can control how others actions affect them-- it's just how humans are.." Strong arms turned your body to face him, your limbs wrapped around his torso and your cheeks gently held in his hands. As tears streamed down his cheeks, he stared deep into your eyes. "You're so strong and beautiful, and I understand as much as I can. I love you so much.. Baby, to hell with her. I know it's hard, but she doesn't have to mean anything to you anymore. Me and you, and mom, can be our own family. We're your home now.."

A sob managed to choke it's way out of your throat, but this one was different. Your head fell into Izukus neck and you held him as tight as you possibly could, soaking his chest with more snot and tears. His arms held you back just as tightly as he peppered soft butterfly kisses along your hairline. This is how you stayed for the rest of the night until you calmed down and passed out on his firm build. Laying back softly, Izuku tucked you both in and kept his tight hold on you.

"Goodnight, love.. You're home."

[fanficwritinggirl]

Thunder (Fred Weasley x reader)

You could say that thunderstorms scared you. I mean the loud bangs of the thunder and the heavy pour of the rain really caused you to panic. It just made you feel trapped. That there was nowhere you could go to get away from it that you were stuck. It sucked to say the least and it made you feel quite childish in all honesty. I mean you were 18 years old for god sakes. You should grow up and get over it right. But this was easier said than done.

It had been dull all day and you knew that it was at least going to rain. But you didn't realise that it was going to be a thunderstorm. And even though you were in the safety of the Weasley home you still were unsettled. The only thing about the Weasley home was that you didn't really get much privacy. There was always someone there and sometimes when you were in a state of panic you just wanted to be on your own. You just wanted to be able to curl up into a ball and forget that it is happening. This is purely due to the fact that you are ashamed of the fact that you are scared of thunder and don't want anyone to know this fact.

You had tried your best to stay downstairs with everyone as the storm grew outside. Everyone was just normal. They were fazed by the heavy rain outside and it made you feel stupid to be honest. The fact that everyone else was fine and you weren't. So that was when you decided that you were going to go to bed. It was a good reason for you to be left alone for the rest of the night. It also meant that you could crawl under the covers and hide from the storm.

So after saying goodnight to everyone and going to bed you try to go to sleep. Lying there for hours just trying to get some sort of sleep even if it was for a few minutes but the adrenaline in your body was not helping you. Everytime a crack of thunder came your heart beated faster and faster and you could feel tears at the brink of your eyes but they never fell. You turned over and looked towards Ginny and Hermione who were both fast asleep, something that you envied.You were sick of lying in bed so you decided that you should go downstairs and get something to drink to lower your nerves.

You sneak down stairs being as quiet as possible trying not to wake anyone up. If anyone saw you in the state that you were now you would never be able to live it down. You get into the kitchen and put some water in the kettle and warm up some water for the tea and you stand waiting for it to boil you look outside. You look at the rain and see that it is coming down very heavily. It makes your heart race again so you try to keep your head down and look at the kettle. When the water is finished boiling you put it into a mug that has a teabag in it and let it steep for a minute while you grab some milk from the fridge. After making your cup of tea you sit down at the table and drink it trying to engross yourself in it so that you can try to ignore the storm.

Though when a huge crack of lightning comes down and you can see the white from the window of where it came down you freaked. You felt unsafe again so without even really thinking you get under the table and curl into a ball rocking back and forth with heavy breathing trying to calm yourself down not being able to.

When Fred walked down to the kitchen in the middle of the night after hearing someone up he didn't really expect the scene that he saw when he walked in. The first thing he saw was the cup of tea on the table and the chair pulled back but when he lowered himself ever so slightly so that he could look to see who was under the table he was shocked to see you in the state that you were in. It broke his heart. "Y/N" he whispers as he circles the table so that he is closer to you and gets down on the floor next to you. He shuffles a bit so that he is right next to you. He could see that you were too frightened to even acknowledge that he was there. You just started on forward with your eyes wide in a trance. He didn't know what to do. Yes he had dealt with frightened people before. I mean he had younger siblings who used to get nightmares all the time but this wasn't just someone who was scared. This was someone who was petrified. "Hey Y/N. Hey, it's ok with me. You're ok. Im here" he says trying to get you to come out of the trance. Give you some comfort.

You could hear him talking to you. Feel him. But you were frozen with fear it was like you couldn't pull out of it. "Hey, I'm here. Im here" he kept saying over and over again and then you feel him wrap his arms around you and pull you to his chest. It was then that you could feel yourself calming down. "Listen to my heart Y/N. Listen to my heart" he says. You felt safe. The sound of his heart beating normally in rhythm calmed you down. Something you hated was when your heart started beating faster than normal making your breathing increase and you panicked thinking you could get it under control. It scared you. But the fact that Fred could keep you from thinking about your breathing and just his heart so that you would just naturally start breathing normally was comforting.

You didn't know how long you sat there for but it didn't feel that long to you if anything you just wanted it to last forever. But Fred pulls back and looks at you. He puts your hair out of your face and takes a good look at you. "How do you feel now?" he asks you. You nod your head at him. "Better" you tell him. He nods his head and you are happy with the answer. You stare at each other for a second before he speaks again.

"How long have you been scared of storms?" he asks you quietly. You knew that you were going to be asked for it. I mean of course you were. Like you couldn't just expect him to calm you down and then just not expect questions. But the thing was other times people asked you about this and this was less than a handful of times. You felt uncomfortable and just brushed it off but you felt comfortable feelling Fred.

"Umm... since I was 7 years old. Ummm... me and my family used to live in the country near some corn fields and something that I used to love to do when I was younger was to go play in them. It was pretty fun when playing hide and seek with your friends. One day it was nice and warm. Sunny. And I decided that I was going to play in the fields like I did all of the time. I must have been running around in them for an hour or so when within the course of about 15 minutes the sky went from sunny to just pure black and heavy rain was coming down. I remember trying to jump up and see where I was but it was just so dark and the rain was just coming down so hard I could see anything. I just keep trying to get home. Or to find shelter to stop the water coming down on my body. And then the thunder started and it just kept getting louder and louder. I could hear it getting closer and closer and I could go anywhere. I was in the middle of nowhere drenched. I was so cold. So cold. I was in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that didn't have sleeves and I was just so cold. I remember I was walking when all of a sudden thunder came down super close to me. Everything around me just went white and I thought that I had died. After a few seconds everything came back into view and I freaked. I ran in a random direction just hoping that it would be the right way and then I slipped and fell. I was covered in mud and I just had no energy. So I lay there until the morning. I remember waking up to the sound of dogs and voices calling my names. A dog camping running towards me and then sitting and barking its head off. The next thing I know I was in the hospital after having really bad hyperthermia and I had to stay for a few days due to me having a really bad cold. They said that I wouldn't have lasted much longer if I had stayed out any longer than I was ''I recount with tears going down my face.

Fred just pulls me closer and kisses my head. "Im sorry Y/N. I had no idea. Why didn't you say anything? '' he asked me. I shake my head. "Because I was ashamed that people would judge me. I mean it was 11 years ago. I should be over it by now. But everytime i hear the thunder and the rain I just can't forget that night. '' I cry and he sighs. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. It is ok to be scared of storms. But you most of all. Don't be ashamed of it. We all have our fears" he explains and I smile. This was why he was my favorite. I pull back and smile at him. "Thanks Fred". He nods his head at me. "No problem".

We sit for a few more minutes before he gets up. "Come on, let's get you back to bed," he says. I nod and stand up taking his hand as a help. When I stand up another crack of lightning comes down and I grab onto Freds waist and cling onto him for dear life. He wraps his arms around him and puts his chin on my head. "Why don't we sleep on the couch tonight. That way I can stay with you" he asks. I nod my head quickly. I didn't want him to leave me. When I was in his arms I felt safe.

We move towards the sitting room and Fred sits down on the couch and lies down. He pulls me towards him and I lie on top of him. He wraps his arms around me as I put my head in the crook of his neck. I smile as I finally feel sleep overcome me.

The next morning we both wake up to the smell of food in the air. I move my head a little bit and feel that I am still on top of Fred. I smile. "Well this is not what i thought i was going to see this morning. Finally found where you went to Freddie" George says smuggly. I groan. Great, now I am going to have to deal with teasing. "George why don't you shut up and go and help mum with breakfast yeah" Fred says as he slowly wakes up. George chuckles and nods his head. "Ok loverboy i will do that" he says before walking out. I sit up and get off of Fred. I look down at him and he is rubbing his eyes trying to wake up. "Umm... thanks for last night" I thank him awkwardly as I'm looking at the floor. He nods and gets up. "No problem" he says. I nod before starting to walk towards the stairs.

"Hey Y/N" he calls. I turn and look at him. He walks up to me and presses his lips to mine in a short but sweet kiss. I pull back and breathe out in shock but I have a huge grin on my face. "Umm..." I said quietly. "I'll see you at breakfast, yeah" I asked him. He nods with a smirk on his face. He kisses my cheek before I turn and run up the stairs feeling shocked but happy.

Fred stands at the bottom of the stairs with a smirk on his face. "Well took you long enough" George calls and Fred groans. "Shut up Georgie".