#i did have them get married in game but im regretting it. i think what they had before

[electoons]

fuck it. ulothir moodboard

[liauditore]

for some reason ur ask is cursed by an evil spirit and webbed site spilled spaghetti sauce all over itself when i tried to answer it so ig we're doing this now @sharksome-nen

half the board being coloured in but no bingo sums up me and this ship perfectly i think.

me being REALLY unhinged below the cut about toxic!fh (a teeny tiny bit neg/discoursey on empires if u squint). gets rlly abuse-y.

ohohohohohoh ur trying to get me killleedddddd.. :D

they're so special to me i hate them so much.

ok so uh i wrote a Whole Thing but it was getting way too ramble-y but basically uh. not a fan of romantic!fh. empires writing is very understandably not perfect and i saw some disturbing implications between the lines and couldn't help but fixate on them and it kind of soured any fluffy!fh fan content for me. sorry im a grinch and i was born with hate in my heart🙏🙏

but uh... if u take those disturbing implications out of the lines, x500 their size and severity, apply a dash of self-projection and start associating songs sung from the pov of abusers with it?? oho. ohohoho. oh that's. that's the good stuff.

i have this rlly cursed notepad doc where i basically vomit Ship Thoughts tm onto so here's the entire fh section copy+pasted. 👍

probably the most explicitly romantic and the most explicitly toxic. They DO love each other a lot. Jimmy looks up to Scott (he's so cool!) and would do anything just to live a happy life with him. I imagine that he's had a crush on him for the longest time from a distance, but didn't approach him until 3L because he didn't think Scott would look in his direction. Scott loves Jimmy deeply too but in the way someone might love a pet or a toy. "How's this poor thing going to survive on his own?" is probably what he uses to justify alot of what he puts Jimmy through. I imagine that Scott is someone who's lived a very monitored and controlled life (he gives me royalty vibes) and probably doesn't understand the extent of the abuse he's been put through or the way it's warped his perception of love. Love is a conditional commodity for him at this point in 3L and right now he's using it to buy some protection (never a good idea to go solo in a death game arena). So everytime he scolds or hits Jimmy it's always out of love, always for his own good, if he doesn't learn how to act now then someone will kill him for running his mouth eventually. Especially in the 3L Death Game. And Jimmy puts up with it and believes him because he hasn't learnt to respect himself yet. But as the games go on I do believe Scott begins to fall for Jimmy in a more genuine, kind way. Still not wholesome but he's very much not just extra numbers for safety anymore. He feels scorching regret for what he did after Jimmy dies but won't admit it to himself or anyone else. It's a selfish kind of regret, he hates himself more than he loves Jimmy, but it's still there. Post-3L Jimmy has some time away from Scott during LL before meeting Tango in DL, a partner who respects and even admires him, who gives him the space to grow and the trust to take risks that would better the both of them. Jimmy gains newfound confidence and a new perspective on his previous relationships, culminating in him actually standing up to Scott in LimL and refusing his offer to get back together. He's grown up. Scott, on the other hand, fares much more poorly. He is offered genuine love, unconditional love and it frightens him because he can't understand it (he doesn't think he's love-able). What does she want from him? He can't control Pearl the way he could with Jimmy and she Scares him. It doesn't matter, he can manage by himself (he always has) and he has an eye for finding kindred spirits. But it's not the same (he misses him). (he needs his Pet back) (he needs his Control back) He doesn't get it. final diagnosis: what should have been a beautiful love story twisted into something awful, divorced and should not re-marry even if Scott wants to.

ngl there is that.. little part of me that really wants jimmy to relapse and go crawling back cus old habits die hard, right? but on the other hand i. i want my son to be happy. sometimes.

I like writing characters with super messed up warped perceptions of love and hurt themselves and others in the process with it. its evil and sexy.

if we're gonna get into the whole song lyrics thing i really really love using mahiru's milgram songs for fh (even tho i associate scott more with muu). they just make sense to me. lyrics from haruko because i adore their covers.

(also uh these songs are about an abusive relationship and the second one has not so subtle suicide imagery in the mv so know that if ur gonna seek them out)

I'll love you till you fall And won't feel bad at all, Because I still get worried Could you please forgive me? Every little thing I only say to get to you Every little thing I do when "you and me are through" That's me loving you

Do my feelings drive you crazy? Sorry I don't care you baby. Tell me please, Tell me please, Why don't you ever love like me?

I just... i think scott genuinely caring for jimmy and wanting to keep him safe but like.. scott's brand of 'safe' is guard up at all times and manipulating those around you. and jimmy's useless at it/doesn't even catch on at all and it just ends up frustrating scott more.

Told you I loved you and then did what I did The right is gone and we're done, I'm crossed and covered in sin My love, it got it's lick back, Destroyed me, I deserved that, Tell the truth, Tell the truth, Why can't I ever love like you?

i LOVE the idea of scott regretting how he treated jimmy too late and still being in denial about it oufhlsdfhfls

so uh yeah it's an okay ship 👍

[i-love-def-leppard]

For the asks (imputing a lot because there lots to choose from) 😁:

3. Do you regret anything?

8. Played any sports ⚽️ ?

11. Do you like someone?|

15. Have any pets 🐶?

30. What's irritating you right now?

32. What is your favourite color?

51. Favorite food 🍝?

60. Do you wanna get married?

💚

hiii omg thank u so much, these are great 💞💞

3 - do you regret anything?

yes! one thing i regret the most (even though it was really out of my control) is not appreciating the time with my grandmother before she passed. i was young and my little brain couldn’t comprehend the fact that she wouldn’t be around for much longer. i regret being naive in thinking nothing ever bad could happen in my life especially to my beautiful grammy 😇😇 but i was very young so it was kinda out of my small brain’s control lol but ya know what i mean

8 - played any sports?

YES lol!!! sports consumed my life in school and i loved every minute of it. here is what i did: soccer (3yrs), lacrosse (3yrs), volleyball (4yrs), track and field (4yrs), golf (2yrs), cross country (3yrs), basketball (9yrs) —> fun fact about basketball is that my team my senior yr of high school almost went to states but we lost in a close game to the team that ended up going ugh

11 - do u like someone?

irl, no :( everyone in my town sucks. buttttt does joe elliott count??!! 😏 if so then yes hehe

15 - do u have any pets?

yes i do!! i have a 11 yr old golden doodle named lucy and she is my entire worlddd. i love her with my whole heart bc she is the best doggie🥹 my family also has 8 egg laying chickens which i include as pets bc they are very friendly. we used to have 2 guinea pigs and 2 ducks but they passed, sadly :(

30 - what’s irritating u rn?

lots. but one thing is feeling like i cannot write. i have so many ideas in my head but idk how to get them written out from my brain for yall to read. and every time i have time to write i get unmotivated or just lost. so im frustrated that i can’t get anything out for yall to read atm but i hopefully will have something out soon🤞🏼

32 - what’s ur favorite color?

dark red or light blue depending on my mood

51 - what’s ur favorite food?

this is such a basic answer but probably 🍕 or if im feeling fancy then chicken bacon ranch panini

60 - do u wanna get married?

yes i do!

thank u again for the asks!! this was fun 🥰🥰

[grishaverse-chaos]

as promised, here is:

grishaverse ships as taylor swift songs!!

malina - im only me when im with you

THE childhood friends to lovers song!!

just a small town boy and girl! living in a crazy world! trying to figure out what is and isn't true!!

and I'm only me when I'm with you!!!

don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground!!

it's SO malina

darkl!na - dear john (censoring the ship name so it doesn't show up in tags!)

sksadgshdh I had to

on a serious note it does fit very very well

don't you think I was too young to be played by your dark twisted games!! regret how I ignored when they said run as fast as you can!!

you'll add my name to your long list of traitors!!!! the darkl!ng literally DID add her name to a list of traitors sjdhshdgjdhd

genyadavid - paper rings <3

it's just..... so cute and soft, I love it sm

and you know something? david DOES like shiny things and he WOULD marry her with paper rings!!

nikolina - getaway car

taylor literally wrote this song for nikolina, I take no criticism

you were driving the getaway car!! we were flying but we'd never get far!! should've known I'd be the first to leave!!

no but they LITERALLY met in a getaway car. they were LITERALLY flying. but they didn't get far.

I'm sorry I will never shut up about this ever

ANYWAY!!

kanej - renegade

that one scene in soc where inej goes "I will have you without armour or I will not have you at all"

it's literally just GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER SO I CAN LOVE YOU!

there was nowhere for me to stay but I stayed anyway!! you wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody!!!

GOD the accuracy of this is killing me.

I can't lie I could write a whole essay on every line of this song and how perfectly it fits kanej.....

you fire off missiles cause you hate yourself but don't you know you're demolishing me!! let all your damage damage me!!

wesper - enchanted

idk how to explain this one it's just the Vibes

walls of insincerity.... playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks

just the whole thing where they first meet reminds me SO MUCH of enchanted I can't even

helnik - miss americana and the heartbreak prince

.....yet another that I could write a whole fucking essay on

nina IS miss americana!!

my team is losing! battered and bruising!

boys will be boys then, where are the wise men!

IT'S YOU AND ME THAT'S MY WHOLE WORLD, THEY WHISPER IN THE HALLWAY SHE'S A BAD BAD GIRL

and I'll never let you go!! cause I know this is a fight! that someday were gonna win!!!

zoyalai - peace

tbh I considered ciwyw as well but in the end I think this is ALSO such a zoyalai song I couldn't not pick it

honestly I can see this being from either perspective.... neither of them can give the other peace! and that's what they love about each other!!

I can't even choose any lyrics to highlight, just the whole song

actually wait that was a lie.

okay so think about zoya believing nikolai is too good for her. now think about "your integrity makes me seem small, you paint dreamscapes on the wall... it's like I'm wasting your honour....."

SIT WITH YOU IN THE TRENCHES!!!

the chorus.... I can't imagine it any other way than nikolai singing it to zoya tbh. I'll keep your brittle heart warm?? I would die for you in secret??

but you got a friend in me = as my general. as my friend. as my bride.

this is probably incoherent but OH WELL

tamadia - invisible string

again I cannot explain it's just the Vibes

isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?

it's so CUTE and I love it

also "cold was the steel of my axe"

because tamar and axes.

anyway! that's it!! this definitely got super incoherent and rambling towards the end but I hope y'all enjoyed it :D

[calamityandme]

I think I need to update my tumblr on what’s happened this year.

I HAVE A FULL-TIME JOB. I got it around 4 months ago. It’s really good for me and it’s helped us so much financially. It doesn’t make me as horribly anxious as my other jobs used to. It’s still a job, but it’s much better on my body and mind. I hope I don’t fuck it up.

IM MARRIED!! I didn’t know if I would be able to afford my wedding at the beginning of the year/last year, but we did it with a LOT of help. It wouldn’t have happened without my parents, Danny’s parents and our loved ones. It doesn’t feel real.

If I have a wedding regret it’s that I really sweated the details. It was stressful, my husband forgot several things important for the ceremony lol. I also forgot the marriage license to be fair so it’s not all on him. It really was wonderful though. When I was about to walk down the aisle I was sooo anxious. I was terrified to be the center of attention and have everyone look at me. Once I saw Danny at the alter, everything was okay. He looked soo good. I had never seen him in a suit before. Our vows were perfect. I wouldn’t change them for a thing. His were so wonderful and I can’t comprehend that he loves me as much as I love him.

Two different couples I know are getting married soon! One couple around October, the other couple isn’t even engaged yet but will this year. Love is in the air. It’s crazy.

On some sadder news, I have had a lot of health issues lately. Last month I had a colonoscopy, then two weeks later was admitted to the hospital because I had several sinus pauses in my sleep. I wore a heat monitor for a month because I was feeling dizzy and lightheaded with some activity. I didn’t expect the heart monitor to actually catch h something abnormal. The longest my heart stopped beating was about 10 seconds. I thought I had sleep apnea. I may still have sleep apnea, but my insurance denied the sleep study. So every night I go to bed I have to accept the fact that I don’t know what will happen. Will my heart stop beating altogether? I wake up every day and just go about living as best I can. I have a doctor’s appointment for next month. Hopefully I can get a at home sleep study done or something.

On top of the sinus pause, my heart rate will go between 25 BPM to 175 BPM in a week/day. I think anxiety makes my heart rate go up, or the opposite that my heart rate being so erratic is making me anxious lmao. Either way my insurance doesn’t care. They denied me because they said I didn’t have a valid reason for needing a sleep study. I guess I won’t need a sleep study if I fucking die in my sleep so fair game.

My mom gave me an old Fitbit of hers to try to monitor my heart rate but I stopped using it. I just feel helpless when I can’t do anything other than try to be healthy. I am at the whim of my health care providers.

Now it’s after the business of the wedding and I’m trying to figure out how I feel. I’m head over heels happy and in love with my husband of course, but I feel like I can never catch a break. I just want to be able to stop and appreciate the moments I’m in now. It’s just really hard to.

I’m so happy and I’m in a much better place than I was a year ago, but I just am so tired. It’s hard to be positive when the world is on fire.

[nhlgossips]

https://www.tumblr.com/hockeystyletea/689539562235674624/so-the-same-anon-that-submitted-the-statement

Cousin statement which literally doesn’t even make sense?

https://www.tumblr.com/hockeystyletea/713185237023293440/hot-take-keith-is-cheating-on-chantal-with-ellie

Gross to assume this yet totally fine to spread rumors that Matthew slept with Ellie’s sister because he hugs her

https://www.tumblr.com/hockeystyletea/727656232762130432/soi-was-just-wondering-about-this-whole

Her explanation on why they’re pr? Don’t think she knows what it means

https://www.tumblr.com/hockeystyletea/720516207617458176/hi-friends-just-clarifying-for-those-who-dont

The panthers are behind the pr relationship

https://www.tumblr.com/hockeystyletea/689627565640613888/i-feel-like-im-gonna-regret-posting-this-but-im

Entire rant from multiple anons that seem like they’re from the same person. Want to remind people in 2020 Keith, Brady, and Matthew did an interview where all of them said Brady would get married first. This isn’t a surprise that he got married young

https://www.tumblr.com/hockeystyletea/689551631999713280/ellie-never-wanted-to-date-matthew-she-only-did?source=share

Whatever this mess is. Night they became friends-ish yet she was his date to the Halloween party that year. Her family couldn’t be blues fans either and going to games apparently with them living there and her growing up there. Why would anyone’s mom say she has to date a hockey player because she has blonde hair and blue eyes?

Rant over 😂

instead of starting a gossip blog she should have opened a ao3 account haha.

[lokiified]

rant piece

i made the wrong fucking choice i actually cant believe it, i was so focused on proving my parents wrong that i convinced myself it would never work with you and now im regretting so badly. i focused on the attention he was giving me but really he never did anything for me like you did, we went on three damn dates in a day, you flew across the country to come see me, you let me pick any book at coles as an early birthday present, you tried to give me everything but i wanted my parents to be wrong so badly that i ignored it for him and he was new and cute and he seemed to like me and you literally told me you didnt have feelings for me why did you do that i probably wouldve chosen you if i knew you felt the same way.

i found the pin i got at the museum with you. i found the pictures i took of you in the weird red room with all the lizards in it. ive been thinking about the used book store a lot lately. i was talking to a friend who i thought i had feelings for and we started talking about book stores and i was struck with an inconsolable sadness at the memories of being there with you for hours, trying to find the right books.

i found the videos and pictures from the mock prom, how well you got along with my friends and how you looked in your suit, how excited you were for that night

i remember how angry your mother was when i chose him over you and i thought she was crazy at the time but she was right, i made the stupidest decision of my life when i picked him.

you came to a baseball game with my family and you dont even like baseball for fucks sake, an hour ride 3 hour game and hour ride back who would do that if they didnt have fucking feelings for someone.

i had to spend an hour and a half sitting in a hotel hallway trying to calm down his anxiety about my relationship with you while you tried to give me everything and lied to my face that you had a girlfriend just to try and protect my feelings.

why did you have to go and say you didn't have any feelings for me when i told you that day.

and now youre in your 20s and you have a girlfriend and youre probably gonna get married and im gonna regret it for what feels like forever.

i made the wrong choice and i dont know what to do

i cant tell my parents and i cant tell you because youre probably gonna marry her and you talked to me about her like shes the best person in the whole world so yeah im definitely not, you live on the other side of the country so ill probably never see you again so yeah i blew it.

you made a playlist for me of all kinds of songs you liked and 80% of them were love songs and i thought it was nothing when EVERYTHING you were doing and saying pointed to having some kinds of feelings for me but i dumped it all for him because i was scared of my parents saying they told me so.

and i certainly cant tell him because what the hell is he gonna say, im sorry you decided to waste a year on me while your real love was off making a life for himself?

i dont even know if i love you i just know that i missed out on something good just because i was scared

i convinced myself you were too much like david, that you werent even cute, excuses upon excuses when really i was just scared and i felt like he was the safer choice because there would be so much less people disappointed if it went south

for gods sake he wouldnt even dance with me at prom and now all i can think about is dancing with you at that mock prom that i thought was so stupid, i ruined all my mom's planning and probably shattered all your hopes for the night, i wish id worn my prom dress and let it happen because obviously it was supposed to

[wench-and-jezebel]

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows Reaction:

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

My… “friend.”  Sureeee, Watson

[Out of curiosity.  Do you know the name "Reichenbach"?]  It looks familiar ☠️ but idk what it is ☠️☠️☠️  [Aight]  👀 why tho lol  [I- Uh.  You'll see]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Ok lol

SHELOCKKK

This woman!  Hmph!  See, the women in their lives suck.  That’s why they should just be together  [I want to show you a thing btw]  Ok 🙂  [Here!  (below)... Bros.  Man's alleged love interest is literally.  Right there.  And the bros are staring at each other]  😂😂😂😂  I love ittttt

Buddy… the bald cap

[I know they’re whistling, but… Men will make kissy faces at each other]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  Why were they whistling?  ['Cause.  Just 'cause]  Ah ☠️☠️☠️

I’m ded  [No, I think they are (jk)]  ☠️☠️☠️ Very true.  But I meant the jump

Tut!

[Man's a bit of a dumbass laskjfd  How much clearer can you get than "don't move"]

A bomb!  Le gasp

I love her! (The actress not the character)  [I mean, the character's fun too]  She is! (Just them together is not… well 🙂 you know 😉 )

[Oop- man died anyway.  But took a lot fewer people with him, so.  That's good.]

Oh shit, she scurrrd

He’s such a good actorrrrr [I knowwww]

He kill her?  [I say nada]  Le gasp!

Well.  Now I feel bad

He done got stood up and widowed (kinda)

[Oh look, it's Watson and "our dog"]

Wait  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  They are at Baker Street?  [Holmes is.  Watson's moved out, I think]  It sounded like he was calling Mary tho [aslkdjf]

Buddy.  You’ve been shot

This man is insane

["I've barely noticed your absence"  Mmmhmm]  ☠️☠️☠️  [Buddy was lying in wait to surprise you, but of course he didn't notice a thing]

WATSON!  You Are Shot!  Have the actors forgotten?

[Oh, I lied.  Apparently he's getting married tomorrow]

“Embrace me.”  “EMBRACE ME”  I fucking will be using that the day we meet!

[I love lil string maps]

Le gasp!

["A shadowy game"  Title drop (ish)]

Buddy.  BUDDDY!

How is he still alive?  [I don't know... Formaldehyde will literally destroy your stomach]

["Our dog"]

The smileee

["WILL YOUR BEARD BE WITH US ALL NIGHT" CONTEXT?!?!?  WHAT'S CONTEXT?!?!?!]  ☠️☠️☠️

The glasses 😂😂

“Armageddon!”  Mood Holmes moood

Poor Sherlock  [Holmes still raging, raging, against the dying of their best bro bud bachelorship]

Is that Mycroft?  [idk, but I think so]  So do I.  Funny… Mycroft in Enola Holmes looks like Watson

Welp

He calls him Shirley tho… I love it  [:)  The temptation to make an Airplane reference]

“Not a ponce”  ["You know me" alksdjflkadsjfa That's all you need, Watson, don't you know?]

Watson. You are being too trusting with that ring that’s been lost how many times already?

[:((((((( Watson so mean]  Yes… He was very rude

[I like her :)  Noomi Rapace]  She looks like Mary… I was confused

Shawn/Sherlock same thing  [This is indeed an apt comparison]  They way he just did that was sooooo much like Psych

[Ouch]  Oooof

Well, shit, eggs sounding pretty good rn  [Ma'am.  This is a scene about beating a dude up… And you're more concerned with brekkie]  I mean— 😁

“She was biting my leg”

Poor Watson ☠️☠️☠️

Ah yes [alskdjf I know where you're going with that alskdjf]  Let us hold hands while we walk to my wedding ‘cause that’s what bros do

Awwwww

Poor Sherlock… again  [*simultaneously* Poor Sherlock ]

💔💔💔 “Watson… he gone”  [:( ]

AGAIN.  SIR!  SIRE!  THE TENSION!  and for why!?

Le gasp!  [Sir's gonna regret threatening his best bro bud]

“Poor Sherlock” times like 50000

I just… don’t like her ☠️☠️☠️  [I assume the her is Mary?]  It’s like she is only even here to be in the way  😩😩  [IT'S THEIR HONEYMOON]  Tsch tsch tsch :)

[Is that a gun or are you just happy to se-]  

☠️  [Okay, tbf, she was pretty damn cool there]  Yeah that’s true!

Um.  [:)]

Idk I guess I’m just overly understanding but I hate situations like this where hubby’s bf shows up and like there’s actually a good reason and the new wife is all OMG IM SO DISTRAUGHT THIS WAS OUR big day. And I get it a little but at the same time I don’t ☠️ same happens with wives of husbands with dangerous or demanding jobs being bitchy when he has to leave for work. It frustrates me.

😂😂😂

He threw her off the train.  HE THREW HER OFF THE TRAIN! and I get it was to save her but I’m ded

“Did you just kill my new wife?” Sounds a lot like this isn’t the first time  ☠️☠️☠️

Sirs

😂😂😂 So much is happening

Also.  The photo I just paused on.  (below)  I’m Ded.  DED!  DECEASED!!!  I REPEAT SIRS  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  I.  Am.  DED

Buddy.  There’s no need to be so in character in the bathroom.  Where no one can se— Ah I give up he’s insane

[Sir.  Sir.  Was that a stick-and-some-grenades or are you just happy to se-]  In👏🏼Sane👏🏼

[Sir.]  SIR.

THIS MAN AND HIS EXPLODING LIPSTICKS

WATSON HE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT

Once more!

He looks like joker  [I KNOW]  Heath ledger one  [I gathered]

I was gonna say poor Sherlock, and then he sniffed the bloody rag, and ack!  And then… He Ed tossed it off the boat!  So ok, poor Sherlock!  [asdfklajsflkjf  Also he looked at Watson first.  He gave up the memory of his love interest while staring at Watson]  😭😭😭😭

Oh no not “violated”  [alskdjf]  They did enough of that on the train  [ALSKDJF]

The laugh!  I’m dead

[Bickering bros.  Married vibes]  Lovers  Jusssssst bros

Funny side story my dad got robbed by gypsies one time  [aslkdfj well damn]  Him and his cousin. The women seduced em, got em drunk, and robbed em blind 😂😂 ☠️☠️

Speak of the gypsy… I’m ded

Wot is this fucking movie?  Nope, that's it: it’s a bloodline thing… They are all insane

This screen is cutting it mighty close

I like this Mycroft! He a lot less assholish!  [This is true.  Just a little more... nekked  (I assume)]  Scratch that he’s just— well yes lol  But he’s way better.  Only good thing the other one does is allow Sherlock to be Enola’s caregiver

Well damn

Ahh more ofmd vibes with the hidden passage  [How dare you]  Wot 👀☠️  [Bring up the pain of that show]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  [Twice]  😁😁 Not my fault  [Mmmhmm]  I say what I see

Le gasp  He’s been had

Oooooof ‘Splosion

[I love her hair]  YESSSS  

Well… is she takes Irene’s place they will just be dating different fonts of the same person  [aslkdfjalksdjf  I mean.  you're not wrong]

[Um.  Um.  Sherlock gave up his handkerchief (sign of past love interest) while looking at Watson; Watson gave up his scarf (sign of current wife) while looking at Holmes]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Poor Sherlock

😂😂😂

Wait Wot.  Sir.  “Why would I want something I couldn’t control bobbing around between my legs”  SIR

ALSO THIS MAN IS ON A FUCKING PONY IM DYING  [Please don't; 'twould be a shame]  😂😂😂

This man and kicking in doors

Oooooop he’s been got

Buddy.  Why.  Would.  You.  Drink.  It.  Then again his body is probably just immune by now

Ack.  ACKKKKK.  ACKKKKK

[Now you'll understand why this song playing on my dryer is so fecking creepy]  Slasher flick ptsd  [alsdkfj]  Yes! Cause he is fucking creepy

Ooooo that got Watson up  [*simultaneously*  Also, the thing that motivates Watson most is the screams over the intercom, just to point out]  🙂  [aslkfdj]

["To whom"  Love you for that Moriarty]  Lol!  [Sorry, but the grammar obsessed me is happy by that]

Ooooooooop

[btw, this whole scene between Sherlock and Watson... I think it has Vibes.  It's been a bit, but I'm pretty sure]  Well damn.  [Yup, I was right]  🥺🥺🥺💕  ["Always good to see you Watson" and the hand on his arm and the-]

“You didn’t find me; you collapsed a building on me”

Oh shiiiit that’s scurry lol

😦  [:(]  Well damn

Oooop- He ded

Watson, he needs a kiss

Oh, wait… He’s got that thing!  The thing he used on the dog!  [It's called an adrenaline shot, dear lakdsjf]  Ack  [It's also called his wedding gift]

The fucking run

Ouch

Oh god they are gonna be fun to write  [I've come to the conclusion I have to do something too]

[*Sherlock mutters*  Watson: "Be nice"  Sherlock (essentially): "Fineeee"]

Wot the fuck is that house

☠️☠️☠️ No pressure

Nooooooo.  NOOOOOOOOO!!!???!  [:)]  I’m dying

Why.  Are they dancing.  Still?  [To be.  Subtle]  Of course

Yes, yes… So very subtle

[They're so.  This.  Bruhhhh]  Oh it’s not their first dance

Well he ded  [Poor Simza]

I’m ded… His disguises  [:)  One of my favorite bits from the original stories]

[Y'all gonna kiss?]  ☠️☠️☠️  They might  [I joke but also I don't]

☠️☠️  [Lestradeeeee]  🙂

[This is important.  This is why I asked if you knew what Reichenbach means.  It's a place, but it's significant for a reason]

Oh shit  [Yup!  He took over the monologue!  And did bad things with it!]  Oh shiiiit  The end

Bruh.  BRUH.  BROS  [He kept his eyes shut.  The last thing he saw... was Watson]  I KNOW.  I KNOW.  I FUCKING KNOW

ACK

🙂  I was about to kill you.  Just so you know.  [I figured]

– – – 

Wench: So, before your endpoint, I need to express just how much this story fucked me up.  I was a kid and we had a picture book.  "The Final Problem" it was called, and it was the story of Holmes and Moriarty and the Reichenbach Falls.  This was the cover.  (below)

Jezebel: Well damn!!

Wench: And when I tell you.  That that fucking book.  Made me cry.  (Makes me cry, if the time is right.)  Every.  Fucking.  Time.

Jezebel: Ack! Imma need them to get serious about the third movie now

Wench: That line?  About "in that dreadful caldron of swirling water and seething foam will lie for all time the most dangerous criminal and the foremost champion of the law of their generation."  is a paraphrase of one of the lines from that book.  And it is a rare day that I read it and don't struggle

Jezebel: ☹️☹️☹️☹️

Wench: Anyway... endpoint to you!

Jezebel: How feeeeeeeeeeeeeee- no. How fuuuuuuuuuucking dare you lead me into that ending blind you Wench

Wench: Because it deserved to not be spoiled.  My favorite part of the movie right there

Jezebel: Of all the dastardly, deceiving, horrrible things!  So evil!  So evil.  So *opens new Google Doc* evil  😭😭😭😭😭

Wench: We're gonna go back in our convo and find out that I did warn you and we just forgot… Devour, take two

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Wench: You cannot tell me that scene wasn't golden though.  And the look?  The Look?!?!?!  THE LOOK.

Jezebel: It was.  He 😭😭 he smiled and just cartwheeeled off like yep all is good now I got one last look. 

Wench: Can you see why he's (this specific version of the character) on my fave list?

Jezebel: YES!  😭😭😭😭😭😭 Ahhhh I love RDJ omg

Wench: I meant the self-sacrificial bit but go off ig  ME TOO

Jezebel: Of course he is ma’am 😂😂 that’s just your type

Wench: I've been attacked.  It's true, but still

Jezebel: I'm not ok  😭😭😭😭😭  Even though I suspected he wasn’t dead… Mainly because there is a third movie in the works… I still am not ok.  I was like: Welp. This has been a good friendship. But I’m bout to head out now..

Wench: RUDE

Jezebel: Bruh by the time they finally make the third movie, there will be a third Enola Holmes and I’m pretty sure they said Watson will be introduced

Wench: Ooop-

Jezebel: I’ll have pre bros and post bros and I may just die.  Ngl I already have a doc like very VERY rough drafted for Enola Holmes Sherlock but I wanted to see the RDJ movies first ☠️ to get a better feel of how they act

Wench: I love it :)))  You got any other endpoint comments?

Jezebel: Yes!  Mary flipped her bitchiness in the end and I’m here for it

Wench: This is true!

Jezebel: And I love Mycroft!  But I can’t reallly think of much more endpoint ☠️☠️☠️ movies are hard ☠��� to end point I mean.  ‘Cause I feel like I explained enough through it, yanno?

Wench: Yeah, that’s fair.  Do you see what I mean about Die Forelle being creepy af now tho?

Jezebel: YES  Also, I’m hurt and now have to sleep on that, you Wench

Wench: Think of it this way... it's the ideal domain for fics… Angsty out the freaking wazoo

Jezebel: I KNOWWWW!  but you don’t have to pretend there’s a happy ending… You just expand it

Wench: The thing is.  The Thing.  Is.  Angst.  And Hurt/Comfort.  Have apparently become my ideal genres.  So… I need to come up with something to write  (PROMPTS ARE ACCEPTED at @scripted-downfall --- within the constraints of sooooo much work 😭) 

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Yesss

Wench: But that's for a later time.  Ready to call it a night?

Jezebel: Yes!

Wench: Oh, what’s our next react?

Jezebel: The Musketeers, right?

Wench: laksjdf;lksajdf I was giving you the choice to pick something else.  Or say no

Jezebel: 😌😌Wench: Hell yeahhhhhhh!  Alright, then... 'Til tomorrow, for The Musketeers!

[cahmilo]

minecraft camilo x yn?? Like ur playing w cami and the rest of the madrigal grandkids until he accidentally confesses to u “NO IM NOT GOING TO MARRY A FLOWER BC I LIKE YN” (idk what that means but i think its funny anyways-)

Pixelated Flower — camilo m.

pairing: camilo madrigal x gn reader genre: fluff drabble tags: 1.1kwc, requested, scheduled, modern au

summary: camilo unknowingly and indirectly confesses to you during an online game

Numerous pings can be heard from your computer making you turn to your desk in irritation. You were cozy and cuddled up in your comforters which all the more brings you laziness and tiredness. You simply ignored the notifications as you continued scrolling through your phone while lying in bed. However midway through a TikTok video, your screen fades and blaringly plays a familiar ringtone. Someone was calling you and you smiled when you saw who it was. Your best friend (and also the one you slightly have a big crush on), the one and only Camilo Madrigal. 

"What do you want, Camilo?" You said as you brought your phone to your ear.

"I've been giving you pings on Discord! I thought you said you wanted to play Minecraft with us on the server!" Camilo's whiny voice made you burst out in laughter. 

"Okay fine, give me a few minutes" You giggled and hung up the phone. It took you minutes to shuffle under your bedsheets before you stood up to finally go to your desk. The moment you took a seat, you turned on your phone and checked on your Discord notifications. Boy, Camilo really did mention you too much. It made you laugh until the light from your computer took your attention, ready for you to set up your game. While you're at it, you opened the server and saw that there was a voice chat that included Camilo, Carlos, Isabela and Mirabel. You got the urge of excitement as you wore your headphones and opened Minecraft. 

You regretted it.

The moment you joined the call, a bunch of screams welcomed you and took you aback. You jolted in your seat at the ear-piercing yells that might have broken your eardrums. In a hurry you adjusted the volume before you joined the server after Minecraft got opened.

"NOT MY DOG! DON'T KILL MY DOG!" Carlos screamed into his mic. You can hear the rapid clicking of his keyboard. Camilo laughed soon after but later screamed, "NO! HOW DID YOU EVEN GET POTIONS?!"

As soon as you joined the server, your name pops out in chat and Camilo instantly stops screaming to coo at you sweetly, "STOP I'M GONNA MURDER YO- Y/N! I farmed diamonds for you!" You could hear Carlos on the other end scoff in annoyance as he approached Camilo's character. 

You stood there, just watching the two twins do a 1v1 by themselves for no apparent reason. Camilo probably taunted his twin brother first and it escalated from there. You observed them bicker back and forth until they decided to settle on an empty fist-fight through Minecraft. With them armor-less and weapon-less, you decided to step in and bother them with your full diamond armor and Netherite weapons. 

'Carlos was slain by [username]'

"Yeah! Y/N's here to fight for me!" Camilo cheered. You laughed through the mic and smirked to yourself. "Hold that thought, milo."

'Camilo was slain by [username]'

"Serves you right." Carlos laughed this time. He most likely respawned back at the house so you collected their stuff and placed it in a chest for them to come back to. Camilo was whining and yelling the entire time, feeling betrayed.

"I'm gonna go get flowers for the bee farm" You nonchalantly informed the two and left them. You were in the middle of a flower biome anyway, might as well collect flowers at least. While you were doing your task in peace you could still hear the bickering of the two twins while Isabela and Mirabel oftentimes talk on chat, you assumed they were decorating the community house a few blocks away. Once your inventory was full, you slowly made your way back to the house.

"You still haven't gotten your stuff?" You asked an armor-less character of Camilo, making yours stare at his dead in the eye. His head moved around a few times before he puts out a flower on his hand. 

"I did, but I was attacked by a phantom. Went back to run and this is the only thing I managed to salvage" You could hear him pout just from the tone of his voice. It made you giggle in laughter. Sooner while you were giving him a few of your stuff, Isabela and Mirabel's characters popped out on your screen as they entered the house as well. 

"I took your stuff, milo" You heard Mirabel. She walked towards him and started dropping the items for Camilo to collect. While they were at it, you proceeded to your room and started fiddling with your storage, looking for more items to craft. You muted yourself and proceeded to play the game while listening to the rest of the Madrigal grandkids.

"I can't believe you left all your stuff in the open but didn't hesitate to drop that flower of yours" Isabela trail off. Camilo mocked her, still sulking from the sudden death caused by you. "I already named it, I can't lose it"

"Why would you even name a flower?" Mirabel asked with a judging tone. Camilo immediately bickered feeling offended. "Hey! An iron golem dropped it after Carlos murdered it. The least I could do is treat it with love in it's memory!"

"If you love your beloved flower so much than your full enchanted armor then might as well give your loot to me." She bites back, "Or even just marry it at this point because you're still not letting it go from your grasp"

"Look as much as these pixelated flowers are pretty, I don't want to 'marry them'" Camilo muttered, insulted. "Also there is a prettier flower that I can actually see in real life." With that you suddenly forgot what you were doing because you were too invested in their bantering now.

"Its me, I'm the flower" Isabela boasted which led Mirabel to let out sarcastic vomiting noises.

"Ew no," Camilo grimaced, "Y/N is my beloved flower."

You unmuted yourself, and yelled, "WHAT?" 

"WHAT" Camilo panicked as well, "I thought you left vc!" 

You laughed nervously and heard Mirabel and Isabela tease their cousin with squeals. "I've been here the entire time, Camilo. I was only muted!"

"Oh, so it was Carlos who left" You can hear Camilo rapidly type on his keyboard, possibly to message his twin about what happened. He took a glance at the server and saw that Carlos really was offline. He internally cursed himself for being an idiot. 

"So, what was it you said about me being your beloved flower?" You teased a nervous Camilo. You can hear him frantically tapping in his keyboard and a few muttered curses when you hear random objects just fall and scatter around his desk. You and the other girls in the vc kept laughing lightly until you saw that Camilo disconnected from the call and went offline. 

"He's definitely hiding from you" You heard Isabela say to you. You laughed in response yet again. 

"I don't have to worry, he can't hide from me much longer." You reassured her, now with a determined and confident voice after knowing that your all-time crush likes you back. Oh, he's definitely not gonna hear the end of it.

taglist: @pochi-moochika, @carlosfruitsnacks, @thegirlwiththebangs, @mirabelleza, @carcat-02, @brushofease, @camilos-luna, @ducky-is-dead-inside, @elegantkidfansoul, @moon-cakiie, @justicehasaproblem, @nerdish-simp, @justzei, @try-cry-why-try, @kuhmeelo, @asockyoulostbeforelaundry, @alexxavicry

masterlist | taglist | gif source

[dreamkidddream]

AHHHHH OKAY IM SORRY BUT I JUST SAW THE CUTEST TREND ON TIKTOK AND JUST HAD TO WRITE THIS

So it’s basically where one partner is complaining about how their shirt smells and when the other person leans down to smell it their forehead gets kissed 🥺 so I had to write it for the bros 😭 I’m still doing the prompt special tho but take this as a thank you gift/self indulgent. Heavy on the ✨self indulgent✨ Reader is gender neutral!

The Brothers and Forehead Kisses (Tiktok Trend)

Lucifer

MC ew, he doesn’t want to smell your shirt if it stinks

Why would he want to do that

But you were so persistent and would not stop pestering him until he sniffed it, and he has paperwork to do so he doesn’t have time to waste

If this was a prank and Satan and/or Belphie put you up to you’re going to regret it

Rolling his eyes, he leaned down to smell only to feel your lips gently kiss his forehead

Very confused until you asked him if he smelt it. He did the same thing and got the same result

So this was your little prank, huh?

Honeslty doesn’t mind it, and is a little smug about it too

If you just wanted to kiss him, why didn’t you say so? He will happily grant your request

He rather do the kissing and on another body part, but he can never complain when it comes to you

10/10 recommend forehead kisses with Lucifer

He won’t outright ask you for them, but he will be expecting them for now on (especially when he’s stressed). Your kisses are possibly his only weakness (not that he’ll ever say that), and makes him feel all warm inside

You make him feel warm inside MC

Mammon

He’s definitely done the sniff test on his own clothes more than once, so has no problem smelling

The only problem he had was the instant butterflies in his stomach and the blush across his face after you kissed his forehead

“Oi human! W-what do ya think ya doin’?!”

Is embarrassed and acts like the kisses are unwanted (he’s not fooling anyone), until you do it again and again and again

Very dopey and starts to complain when you pull away

“Hey! You started this, s-so ya gotta finish it! And I’m- I’m not done yet!”

You dumb human! Making him feel all these emotions for you. Now you gotta take responsibility! He’s the Great Mammon after all, and he only gets the best!

He’s lying MC don’t ever stop loving on him you’re already the best

Bonus: give him forehead kisses whenever he’s upset during your pep talks and he’ll marry you on the spot. Also becomes his favorite kiss and expects them everyday

Leviathan

KING of the sniff test

Man almost never leaves his room and is either gaming or binging anime (sometimes both) 25/8 what do you expect?

Has a heart attack when you kissed his forehead

Not really but he felt like he was

Face completely red, including ears, he couldn’t even stutter out his question of why you were doing this

Were you pranking him? Was this a trick?! Why would someone like you (WAAY out of his league) kiss a yucky otaku like him?

You saw that he was getting that look again, so you pecked his forehead over and over

Completely shuts down, but in a good way!

Give him forehead kisses forever MC, especially when he’s upset in his degrading mood or about to go in a jealous rage

Becomes exclusively your thing

Satan

Another one that doesn’t want to smell your shirt

If you think it smells then change??? He doesn’t understand why you’re still wearing it

Have to practically FORCE his head to your chest, and he finally gives in

Was pleasantly surprised to feel the kiss

You make him fluster so bad MC that he chokes lmao

Tries to act smug about it at first, but you caught him off guard and he is not mad about that

Kisses your forehead everyday before you leave the house: whether it’s for RAD, hanging out, whatever reason doesn’t matter

Does it everyday, and in front of everyone ESPECIALLY in front of Lucifer, he lives to spite this man

Makes him feel like he’s a part of his own love story, and that he finally had a happy ending

Asmodeus

You are NOT fooling this man

If you want him to smell you, you gotta lie and say you sprayed some perfume or cologne and want his opinion

Well why didn’t you say so? He’ll be honored that you want his opinion but who wouldn’t? He’s Asmodeus, the best-

Did you just kiss his forehead?

Naughty MC, if it’s a kiss you wanted you didn’t have to trick him to get it~

But he didn’t mind. It makes him feel loved, a different kind, way different than what he feels from his fans, if the deep blush on his face is anything to go off of

Forehead kisses are something reserved just for you! And it doesn’t matter if it’s him kissing yours or the opposite, he loves it. He lives for it now, but only for you. This is something that his fans can never have, and they feel just a little salty about it, but they can’t stay mad for long. It’s Asmo, and MC always brings out this glow from him, and they do kinda look cute together...

Surprisingly he rather do this behind closed doors. Has no problem with kissing you in public, but it’s just more personal when it’s just you two

Keep this up MC and he may start loving you more than himself-

JK he’s obviously first place

But you have him doubting that sometimes, and it doesn’t bother him as much as he thought it would

Beelzebub

Does the sniff test sometimes, but only because if he smells food on it he gets hungry and sometimes tempted to eat the shirt

He can’t help it

You want him to smell you- your shirt? Doesn’t mind, you already smell good and he does have the strongest sense of smell in the house (probably ever tbh), so it makes sense

Now Beel is one tall demon. All the brothers are pretty tall, but he’s the tallest (even if he isn’t he’s still huge), so kissing his forehead was a challenge on his own

Is deathly quiet for a few seconds, expression serious. Then...

You see the widest smile along with the red spreading across his cheeks. Purposely continues to do it even after he knows it’s a prank, doesn’t care

You awakened the beast MC

Fully expects these kisses for now on. Every. Single. Day. Not that you mind in the slightest

He goes to you whenever he feels like he needs it. Feeling famished and food isn’t working? Forehead kisses make him feel full. Need good luck for practice and on game days? Those kisses give him an extra boost. Bored? You and your kisses are more than enough to entertain him

ALSO KISSES YOUR FOREHEAD NO EXCEPTIONS

Comes to you literally any time of the day to get your kisses. It’s better than anything he ever eats. Makes him feel better too!

Anything filled with love from you is better

Belphegor

MC what do you want?? He’s trying to sleep, and he doesn’t want to smell your smelly sweatshirt

Does the sniff test on his own clothes, but is petty enough to turn his nose at you

Maybe if you lay down and cuddle with him, he can probably take a whiff...

You fall for it (or so he thinks). So when he feels your soft lips on him, it’s enough to wake him up

You humans, always finding a way to trick people! Not that he cares that this trick has his heart racing and the tip of his ears burning

We all know he’s a sucker for affection no matter how much he tries to lie and deny it. So imagine how much he’s loving something so domestic like this

Is acting so shy, complaining about how unfair you are in teasing him, but you don’t miss the way his eyes flick from your lips to your own eyes, and the way that he positions himself for you to have easy access to kiss him again

Becomes your thing whether you like or not (spoiler alert: you do) and I mean just your thing. Besides from Beel, he’s pouting if you decide to do this to his other brothers. He’s the only one that should have your kisses, not his annoying and undeserving brothers! If you’re really sorry, you can apologize by giving him 10x the usual pecks and sleeping in his arms

Forehead kisses before napping and before going to bed >>>

The thought that he shouldn’t be forgiven still lingers in the back of his head, but whenever you give him that soft smooch on his forehead, it’s forgotten momentarily

You’re too good for him MC

You make him feel so cherished, so loved. He doesn’t know how he can repay you, make you feel the same, but these kisses are a good start

SN: should I do this for the BSD and MHA crew too 🤔? Cause I will 🌚 it’ll probably get done anyway lmao

[alreadyblondenow]

Sweet | Jung Jaehyun

❤︎ Jaehyun x female!reader ❤︎ Fluff? Smut, Smut, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, College AU, Established relationship ❤︎ 2/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |

Summary: Jaehyun has always been in love with you but he thinks so highly of you that he never tried pursuing his feelings for you. All throughout your college years, Jaehyun endured every heartbreak secretly whenever you have a new boyfriend and can only love you secretly in his own ways. Wild. College years was wild and its all because of Jaehyun. After college, you and Jaehyun parted ways but life will reunite you again in the most shocking way. Jaehyun’s wedding.  

Word count: 13,707k

Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, and loads of sex, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, making of sex tape (with consent), making of amateur porn? (with consent), cam boys and cam girl?? idk what to call that but they fuck live, mentions of alcohol, period fingering, mentions of tampon, dry humping, oral sex female receiving, mentions of blowjob, slight blowjob scene,  mentions of other idols, swearing, college students who just wanna have fun haha, kissing and touching, fingering, and slight nipple play, mentions of having sex with Johnny. AH SLIGHT BREAK UP SEX! 

A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. okay, I know I said that this will be out on Jaehyun’s birthday but meh whatever I’m posting it and will post something else for hearts day. hehe. I hope you guys love this even though im just experimenting and trying to write longer fics, and seriously I wanted to write back to back smut with different feels so I guess im crossing that out of my bucket list. Also this is proof read once only so sorry. You may not be happy with the ending but I’m sure as hell happy with it so sorry. ​

Humans are prone to fall in love with the wrong people and the only thing you can do about it is to forgive yourself and move on. No matter how much history you had, no matter how many special moments or intimate ones you shared… if you know that he or she is not the right person for you then, you know.

Like this moment right now. For exactly ten minutes, you will realize why you and a certain someone never worked out.

“Hey, boss you have a 10 am meeting. Planning for everything” Your assistant says as you double-check your schedule to see the name of the client she’s talking about. “That’s the bride though, 0% progress for the wedding” she added.

“Yikes” you murmur and ready your stuff, “let’s fix that and give her a beautiful wedding. I need you to take down everything she says while I talk to her” you straighten your clothes and fix yourself before you face the client.

The moment you enter the room, the bride greets you with a big smile like she’s saying ‘thank you for saving me and my wedding’ even though you literally haven't done anything yet. Oh, you love seeing those hopeful eyes in every bride. “I’m just waiting for my fiancé, he’s the one who recommends coming here and I have a great feeling that I will have a beautiful wedding because of you”

“And my team,” you added and finished her sentence, “I want to introduce you to my assistant, she will be taking care of every request you say during our discussion later”

“And I want to introduce you to my fiancé, Jaehyun,” she said with a big smile and walked towards his fiancé.

And just like that your ordinary day at the office became extraordinary. Because nothing is normal about Jung Jaehyun, nothing is normal about those dimpled smile that automatically makes your heart skip a beat.

“Baby, this is the wedding organizer” her smile has no hint of mock, she’s not even proud that she has a very handsome fiancé and obviously she doesn’t know who you are. She’s just happy that she’s marrying Jaehyun. That’s all. And in those eyes, you see that Jaehyun is in the right hands.

“Mhmm. Me, Johnny, and Ms. Y/n right here are dorm mates. So you’re talking to the best wedding organizer,” you snorted at what Jaehyun said.

“Thank you for that introduction Jung, now let’s talk about your wedding”

And so, you worked your magic to them the whole morning. Explaining things, showing stuff, asking them what they want. From the wedding reception, wedding dress appointments, and picking of cakes… she has no idea of what she wants. Good thing you do know what you’re doing and you planned everything smoothly after a few hours. And for hours and hours, you watched them smile at each other, lowkey flirted in front of you but you didn’t feel any jealousy, hurt, or regret.

When the exhausting meeting was finally done and finally you’re alone at your office, a soft knock brought you back to reality and a familiar voice was behind it. “Can I come in?” Jaehyun asks.

“Of course, it’s open” you watch him enter your office like he’s some kind of a ghost and made the room cold in an instant.

“I just want to say thank you for helping us out- thank goodness the world is small… Literally, the wedding will be a mess”

“Just doing my job Jae,” you smiled sweetly to him, “your fiancé is lovely-“

“I did love you Y/n. And I’m sorry for hurting you like that, I told you, you deserve better. I’m glad we both found our happiness” he flashed that dimpled smile again and thanked you one last time.

The little reunion ended with small smiles, nods here and there, and in just a few seconds Jaehyun is out from your office and quickly replaced by your assistant to give you your afternoon coffee. Awkward and curious, she placed the coffee in front of you. Obviously, she wanted to know your past with the groom. And when she finally dropped the question, you remembered everything, moments crashing and drowning you right this instance.

Eight years ago  

“Are you even trying, you’re no fun!”  

Your best friend shouts at you from the other side of the table, waiting for you to throw the ball, waiting for you to miss. It was just beer pong but you don’t know why the game was so fucking frustrating and no matter how hard you concentrate you can’t score. Maybe it’s because you’re all alone and you’re competing against your best friend and her boyfriend. Fuck that you thought, you don’t need a man.

“Fuck” you murmur and miss again. You watch your best friend’s boyfriend score another one and of course, you have to drink again. But just when you’re about to get the ball from drink, a stranger’s hand was quick to get the cup, remove the ball and drink the alcohol.

“Mind if I join and help you win?” He flashed you a dimpled smile that immediately made you smile back at him. You take back what you said earlier, maybe you do need someone.

“Come on! Let him in, maybe he’s a better competition” your best friend shouts once again. Oh, you’re very happy that you’re not going to the same college.

As you welcome the handsome stranger and gave him the honor of throwing the ball, you warned him first that your opponents can be very annoying but he doesn't seem to care and just let out a small laugh. Cocky you thought, but confidence looks sexy on him.

And finally. Fucking finally, your best friend had a taste of her own medicine.

“I’m Jaehyun by the way,” he was lowkey flirting with you and you’re not stupid to not notice. “Here, I’ll teach you how to throw” he put the ball in your palm and stood behind you, hands on your waist to keep you steady, arms raised together, and you swear his lips were so near at your nape that you got shivers whenever he talks. “let the ball bounce near a cup and it will land on one” he added. But how can you score if he’s making it hard for you? You did it anyways, threw the ball near a cup and he was right. It landed on the cup you wish to aim and finally, you’re starting to have fun.

The game went on and you and Jaehyun flirted, talked, and exchange deep glances the entire game but winning it at the same time. His one hand is always around your waist even if it's not necessary whenever he’s the one throwing the ball, and whenever the other team scores, he’s the one drinking the alcoholic beverage for you.

At the end of the game, you and Jaehyun won the golden prize which is very awkward when he showed it to you.

“All that frustration and competition for a condom?” you can’t believe that the prize is a single condom.

“We don’t have to use it, it can just be our trophy you know” he let out a small laugh and put the condom in his pocket, and changed the subject.

As the night went deeper, you and Jaehyun had your own little world in that corner at the kitchen with a beer in your hand while you talk about your interest from music to movies. It was pretty crowded but no one seems to care especially Jaehyun because he loves how incredibly close he is to you right now. Until a drunk person bumped Jaehyun and he accidentally spilled his beer on your blouse. Seems like the universe is making a way for you two to eventually hook up and use the condom.

“Shit-shit!” Jaehyun was panicking at the moment and he doesn’t know what to do other than remove his hoodie and cover you with it before anyone sees your see-through blouse and took you somewhere less crowded to help you clean up the mess he put you through.

In a stranger's room upstairs, he locked the door to let you change while he looks for something to dry your clothes with. Luckily, he saw a hairdryer and quickly plugged it in beside the bed and started drying your shirt.

You were conscious for some time, clinging to a stranger's blanket with nothing but your pants underneath it. You watch Jaehyun dry your bra, checking it from time to time if it's ready to go. And when it's finally dry, he hands it to you with an awkward smile but still managed to make your heart beat fast. “I’m really sorry,” he started, a quickly avoided his gaze from you again as you turn your back from him, put down the blanket, and wear your bra like there's no one with you.

“It was an accident, don’t beat yourself up,” you said, there’s no way he’s going to let this go you’re sure of it, so with all your bravery, you came closer to him while he's busy drying your blouse and kissed him on the cheek. “You've been saving me the whole night. You saved me from boredom and from losing and now, you're drying my clothes. So sweet of you,” you added and looked at him sweetly, resting your forehead on his and making the moment even more intense by putting down the blanket in front of him. Allowing him to see you with only wearing your bra and pants, inviting him to make this moment unforgettable for the two of you.

Of course, he's not stupid and did exactly what you had in mind. In one swift moved his lips are on your lips, hands on your shoulders to put your bra straps down, and you unclasped your bra and threw it on the floor before you started to kiss him more intensely.

Jaehyun kissed you exactly how you wanted to be kissed, with want and with lust. His breath and the sound of wet kisses sounded perfect as it surrounds the room. You felt him bite your neck then feel him smile against your skin when his intentions of turning you on even more is working.

Kisses became deeper, playful, and wet when he started to go down to your chest and started kissing the valley between your boobs. His big hands knead your right boob, while his left hand is placed on your waist. Oh when his tongue brushed on your nipple for the first time, you rolled your head back and arched your back as if you wanted him to do more and play more with your boobs.

And just like that the cold night became warm and you feel it getting warmer and warmer by every second and it’s all because of Jaehyun.

He flashed a dimpled smile at you when he saw that you're more than liking what he's doing to you and stopped to open the lampshade. The room was immediately softly illuminated which you thought is romantic even though everything that’s happening right now is totally unplanned.

"Your boobs have spit all over, wait let me get that for you" you were just about to tell him that it's fine but he was quick to remove his shirt and reveal his godlike body right before your eyes. “If you just want to kiss and touch the whole night, I’m fine with that but I am very horny right now that I got you covered with spit,” he said while wiping his spit from your boobs and chest using his shirt.  

If you’re perfectly honest, you’re nervous about what can happen in the next few minutes. But there’s no way in hell that you’re going to let this pass, it’s not every day a handsome man is eager to fuck you. You just have to suck it up, not tell him that you’re a virgin, perform and look like you know what you’re doing. "No, it's fine I'm horny too" and you proved it by kissing him again, cupping his face with both of your hands, and with all your strength you roll on top of him. "Wait here," you said as you push him back on the mattress when he tried to get a hold of you.

You went down from the bed to remove your pants and underwear, he did the same as quickly as he can and you think he's cute for being excited to fuck. You crawled in between his legs, sat nicely on top of him but the impatient guy sat up and met your lips again. One hand supporting his weight, one hand on your waist. "You're so fucking beautiful I'm having a hard time to breath for the last few minutes" he whispers so sexily while kissing your jaw, leaving his mark to remind you the next day about tonight.

For a minute, you felt shy because you've never been naked with someone in bed. But the way Jaehyun kisses you makes you trust him, the way he touches your body with care make you want him more. And again, those fucking lips just made you roll your hips against his hardening cock and it made you both moaned so good that he asked you to do it again. And so you did.

Letting his cock slide in between your folds is a new feeling for you. Not even grinding on your vibrator will give you such an amazing feeling. Grinding on Jaehyun's cock while his mouth plays with your boobs felt fucking good that your grip on his locks tightens but he doesn't care. But for someone untouched like you, you made sure you never forget the feeling whenever his tongue swirls while you roll your hips, how he bites your nipples whenever he feels you're slowing down, and the vibrations that share with you whenever he grunts a little too loud and you feel it all over your body.

Soon Jaehyun switched places with you, putting you underneath him to catch his breath and stop himself from cumming. He reached for your hand and hold it dearly, kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand. “Forgive me if I become rough tonight, I can promise an aftercare don’t worry,” he says and gave you one last kiss before he pulls away and gets the condom from the pocket of his discarded pants. Putting the protection in front of you to assure you, thank goodness to that condom you thought.

As soon as he crawls back in between your legs again, his hand moved around your body like he’s telling you he owns you, smiling in between kisses whenever he accidentally tickles you. Hands slipping in between your thighs and fingers brushed automatically on your very wet slit. You jolt because of the new feeling but careful not to show Jaehyun that this is your first time being finger fucked. So you closed your eyes to avoid his gaze but Jaehyun gave your ass a tight squeeze and put his thumb on your wet slit, admiring how wet he made you already which made you open your eyes again and moan his name deliciously.

“I like the sound of that,” he says, kissing your neck and down Jaehyun goes, kissing your body until he reaches your pussy to give you few licks before he fucks you.

The way he licked your wet folds made your toes curl and your legs spread even wider. Pushing his head away, crushing his head with your legs then spreading it wide again, and begged him but you’re not sure what for.  

“Jae- you eat pussy like a pro” or maybe you’re just telling that because it’s your first time being eaten out. That even the way he puts the right amount of force to stop your legs from closing whenever he flicks his tongue is perfect. And when he saw you relaxing and can handle the pleasure already, his hands cupped both of your boobs and pinched your nipples, making you moan his name loudly “Jae!-“ and arch your back as a sign that you’re almost there, and if he doesn’t stop soon you might cum now.

But of course, Jaehyun didn’t stop and made you cum using his tongue for the first time tonight. Your legs felt like jelly and you can even feel that your pussy is still sensitive. “Thought it’s going to be just a few licks?” you said weakly, wiping your pussy juices from his chin and planting a soft kiss on his lips as a thank you, but he doesn’t know that.

“Changed my mind, you taste good. I might even go for another round-“

And right before he goes down on you again, you stopped him and told him you’re still sensitive. Which thankfully he listened and kissed you instead of licking you. And when you’re finally good to go again, he holds you by your ankles, kiss your neck and touch your body for a few seconds before he finally lines his cock on your very wet slit. Sliding it up and down, teasing you and making you horny and even more aroused.  

When he finally pushed his cock in your hole, Jaehyun thought his dick will slide in smoothly because, one, he thought you’re not a virgin anymore and two, you’re dripping on the sheets but still he’s having a hard time pushing in. Then he saw your face, contorting like you’re in pain rather than seeing you furrow your brows, part your lips, and make beautiful sounds.

For you, it fucking hurts and you would rather suck it up than tell him you’re still a virgin and ruin the mood. But the man on top of you is not stupid and surprisingly he pulled out slowly and came closer to your body once again to face you, “I’m about to be your first time, am I right? You’re so tight and I’ve never encountered a hole like that ever since my first fuck”

Busted you thought. You thought of any more ways to get out of this situation but he looks like he’s okay with it. “Are you mad?” you asked shyly and avoiding his stare.

“No” he admitted, “Actually I’m turned on. But I’ll go slow and sorry if I hurt you at first. Want to try again?”

You nod oh eagerly to his question and finally, you can breathe and enjoy the moment. He gave you a few kisses before he continues and went back to lining his cock, he made you wrap your arms around his neck and asked you to spread your legs even wider. And when he pushed in again, there’s that good stretch you’ve been hearing so much about. The feeling of Jaehyun’s cock go slowly inside you was incredibly good even though he’s not fucking you raw right now.

“The condom is thin-“ he grunts and moaned a few times, “you’re so tight. And fuck you look hot. Does it feel good now?” he whispers and started to roll his hips once which made you both moan and let out sharp gasps.

He fucks you slow and deep until the sting from the stretch is replaced by pleasure. You rake his body with your nails, holding him on his nape, and grab a fistful of hair whenever he tries to give you a powerful thrust which you loved so you asked for more.

He sat on his knees and pull away from your body then immediately gave you a hard thrust, watching your boobs bounce with lidded eyes, kneading them whenever he wants to. In a matter of few minutes, his thrust became animalistic that your head is dangling on the edge of the bed, moaning and gasping sharply but the man above you kept on fucking you hard, savoring the condom and trying not to cum so soon. So whenever he’s on edge, he pulls out immediately and spreads kisses around your body, sucking your boobs until your nipples are swollen, playing with your slit until you’re cumming for the third time tonight using his fingers.

“Not yet, I want more time with you,” he says while kissing your neck and reaching for your hand to intertwine it with his.

“Jaehyun, I can’t take it anymore. Please cum already” you begged with ragged breaths.

“Fine, fine. Since you asked nicely, but promise me to give me your number after we fuck”

“I will if you make me cum using your dick” he was amused by your answer and effortlessly flipped you on your stomach and asked you to put your ass in the air. He kissed your shoulders first, making you feel safe before the grand finale. Hands on your ass while he slowly thrust in again and fuck, he does make your knees weak.

“You were just a virgin a few minutes ago, but now you’re begging huh, okay” he says before he gave you a hard thrust that made you land flat on your stomach but he was quick to lift your hips again and give you another hard thrust.

Thrust after thrust you feel the impact in your body and for sure your body will be sore the next day. You call his name over and over again but you’re not sure what you’re begging for because he is fucking you good. Hard but good. And when finally Jaehyun is on edge for the nth time tonight, he did not pull out and kept fucking you but this time he doubled his pace that you can only hear skin slapping and his beautiful moans.

“Fuck Jaehyun- I’m cumming again, don’t you dare fucking stop” you grip the sheets and arch your back more, taking every thrust Jaehyun gives you and shut your eyes close as you let go and cum for the fourth time tonight.

Thrust

Thrust

Thrust

He gave you three powerful thrusts before you both flop on the mattress and catch your breath together. Your bodies were warm and sweaty, the room smelled like sex but no one cares. You feel bad to the owner of this bed.

While you catch your breath and calm yourself down, Jaehyun busies himself with discarding the condom and looking for something to cover your exposed body before he makes a wrong decision like asking you for round two.

“Thanks” you said weakly when he covered you with the blanket.

“I hope you’re okay with me being your first” he says and lies beside you again, keeping you close to him.

“I’m more than okay with it” you kissed him on the lips like you’re keeping a souvenir, “I hate to ruin this moment that we shared but, we have to go back to the party” you watch him shook his head no and pretended to be asleep, “Mhmm. Come on, I’ll help you get dressed” you added.

To be perfectly honest Jaehyun wanted to stay with you for a few more minutes, he wanted to know more about you, he wanted to hold your hand just a little bit longer. “Stay with me” he asks of you, but you refused with a heavy heart. You exchanged cellphone numbers of course, but when you two got back to the party, hand in hand and back to flirting with each other, your friends are quick to get a hold of you. and the next thing you know you’re inside your friend’s car, on your way home and you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

On the next day, you woke up very sore and you couldn’t walk properly but the thought of what happened last night just makes you smile and all giggly. You waited for his text the whole day, checking your phone from time to time and hoping that whenever it beeps, Jaehyun’s name is on the screen but no.

You thought that waiting for him for a day is normal, maybe he got hungover and slept the whole day. But after a few days later, still you got no texts from him and that part is not normal anymore. You started to think that you’re just a one-time thing for him and you feel stupid for even thinking that Jaehyun can and eventually pursue you.

Everything that happened that night, should be forgotten and you should enjoy the remaining months of your summer before you finally move in to your college dorm. On top of that, you deleted his number and tried to forget the man who made you feel good in bed for the first time.

Now that you’re weeks away from officially being a college student, you decided to settle in your college dorm as early as now so you can have more time to know your dorm mates. Little did you know, that the world is incredibly small and you will end up being dorm mates with Jaehyun alongside his best friend Johnny who welcomed you with a big bear hug like you’ve known each other for years.

It’s not that you weren’t happy to see him when he opened the door for you, it’s just that... it was such an awkward moment because you’ve seen each other naked and... he didn’t call you back. Nonetheless, you pretended to know each other for the first time today, shake his hand and give him a hug. Which you didn’t want to end so soon.

“Hey, uhm… glad to see you settle in” he started and closed your door so Johnny would not hear whatever conversation you’re about to have.

“Yeah, thank you for welcoming me warmly. Johnny is sweet by the way” you said awkwardly while folding your clothes and putting them in your cabinet.

“Uh, about that. Uhm, can you uh-“

“Not tell him that something happened between us?” he nods slowly at what you said, “sure” you wanted to scoff so bad and throw a fit at him, but you didn’t want to ruin your move in day and just shrugged it off.

Starting that day, you tried your best not to be awkward with Jaehyun and really try your best to forget about the sex. The sex that felt good, the sex that can make your toes curl by just merely thinking about it. Although you had a hard time because whenever you touch yourself at night, you remember everything that happened between you two and you end up fantasizing about fucking Jaehyun again. But now that you’re living with him and you see him every day, it's not just about the sex now.

During the summer you were convinced that Jaehyun is a guy who had sex with you and left you hanging. But seeing him every day and knowing him even more by living together, the truth about Jaehyun slapped you so hard that you even liked him even more now. He is a warm person, whose heart is full of care and compassion, or maybe even more than that.

Eventually, you did forget about the sex and your little crush on Jaehyun. Thank goodness, you thought. You couldn’t have done it without a few hookups during your freshman year. And when everything is all nice and pleasant again between you and Jaehyun, you became good friends and started to look after each other.

You were like family in that small dorm during your starting years together. The two giant knows how to cook so a good meal is never a problem, you have study sessions whenever it’s needed and whenever someone is going through something, you were there for each other.

It was great and comforting because you do everything together. But not until Jaehyun realized that he’s not immune to your charms anymore and now he’s falling for you. Hard.

Over the years of living together, Jaehyun saw your true colors. Now he knows you’re more than just a hookup. You were a gem that he found in a stranger’s party and he was such a fool for not calling you back during the summer. It’s true what they say that regrets are always at the end. Now he can only admire you and love you in ways where he can’t ruin this amazing friendship that you have.

Jaehyun endured every heartbreak whenever he sees you with another man or hearing you moan from the other side of the room whenever you and your boyfriend have sex. And when that jerk broke your heart, his broke two times than yours because he can’t do anything to ease your pain, make you realize your true worth and help you move on.

“You don’t need that guy,” Jaehyun says as he pulls you for a hug while Johnny massages your toes. The two giants were a good support system, not to mention they really want to beat your ex’s butt but you told them ‘thanks but, no don’t do that’. And while you’re crying in Jaehyun’s arms, staining his hoodie with your tears, he promised to himself that he will never hurt you or make you cry.

Now that he’s frustrated and mad at himself because he can’t help you, he decided to help himself instead. He watched on the sides and used different girls to make him forget about you, which is hardly impossible by now because even the little things you do make him crazy. Like whenever you ask him to eat dinner with you when Johnny is out for work, or whenever you take care of him when he goes home batshit drunk and can’t even stand up straight.

For Jaehyun, his college years were all about yearning. Yearning for you, your attention, your touch, and your love. But even though you’re now single and have already moved on from your ex, he still can’t confess his feelings for you because he believes that you deserve someone better than him. Jaehyun knew he hurt you already, and he will not forgive himself if he does it again.  

Senior year

In a middle of a busy cafeteria, you, Johnny, and Jaehyun are thinking of ways how to earn money for your dorm rent. This semester made you guys bring out a lot of cash because of books and some of your rent money was needed to sacrifice for education. But now that you guys are a month late with your rent, you have no idea where to get cash knowing all too well that your parents won’t chip in.

“I could sell some of my clothes” Jaehyun suggested while drinking his coffee.

“Dude your clothes are all black, no one would ever buy those” Johnny bites back just to annoy his friend. “Though girls will buy it because it’s from you-“

“Stop it with your nonsense John”

“Or! You can sell some of your nudes, I already know a lot of buyers” Johnny added with an annoying smile.

“Or you two can just fuck each other because you’re the hottest guys on campus but your asses are broke” you tease them further but you have no idea that you just gave out the solution to all your problems. “What?” you asked them as they both smile at you, shy for no reason, and eyeing each other like they’re having a secret conversation using their eyes.

Johnny clears his throat before he starts, “You just suggested to make porn… and porn is good money. A few students do it these days” he clears his throat again before he continues, “We know because we watch porn-“

“Okay, I don’t need to know that part. What are you saying? Are you suggesting we make porn?” you said, eyes big as you look at them.  

“You suggested it. Not us. But yeah. It’s good money Y/n” Johnny once again explained.

“Well, okay. I’ll hold the camera while you two fuck. How do we do this?” you avoid their eyes as your body heats the more you talk.

“Nuh-uh, I’m not fucking Johnny” Jaehyun announces.

“Nope. Me too I’m not fucking Jaehyun, you choose Y/n. No hard feelings, but consider the size” he winks but you know that he’s just joking.

Good thing the awkward conversation was cut when your alarm went off and you have to go to your next class. You gather your stuff and told them to think of better ways to earn money because there’s no way you’re having sex with any of them. Especially not with Jaehyun.

The idea of making money through porn crosses your mind every five minutes and you can’t concentrate with your class. Plus, your landlord kept on sending messages reminding you that in three days, you’re going to be two months late with the rent. But still, whenever you imagine having sex with any of them, it gives you great goosebumps and you can’t handle the awkwardness anymore.

After your class, you were spacing out and still weighing things over regarding the porn making, and unexpectedly, one of your friends brought up ‘amateur porn’ and you’ve never been so nervous in your life. She was talking about how she and her boyfriend went live for a good twenty minutes and they made loads of cash, “and guess what, it’s all for fun! We were really just fooling around but apparently, people do love those kinds of stuff and they pay good money”

Your mouth almost fell when she mentioned the cash they earned for only twenty minutes. And in that twenty minutes, you can cover one month's rent pay already. You just have to cum in front of thousands of people. So with a mind blinded by the possibility of earning too much cash, you said yes to the idea of making porn. The only question is, with whom?

Johnny and Jaehyun stood in front of you as they wait for your answer after telling them what your friend told you about making porn. Of course you picked Jaehyun. Not because you miss him, and not because you have history, but because you don’t want to be awkward with Johnny. While Jaehyun on the other hand is feeling proud and hopeful behind that poker face of his, he thought that you chose him because you already know what’s in store for you if you fuck with him again and of course he thought that maybe you miss him.

“Johnny doesn’t really need to hold the camera for us right? We can just place it, and secure it somewhere” you added and watch Jaehyun agree without looking at you.

“You two have the place tomorrow night then. M-make sure you raise the quota and cover three months of payment... for safety” Johnny says to Jaehyun and you with a smile that says, ‘thank goodness I didn’t have to watch you both fuck’.

Before you sleep tonight, unexpectedly Jaehyun paid you a visit. And there’s that nervous feeling again, you feel like you’re back in your freshman days when you don’t know what to do whenever you see Jaehyun and you just have to pretend that nothing is bothering you.

Breathing in and out, you opened the door quickly and went back to your bed and under the covers to cover your exposed legs. Little did you know that Jaehyun already saw that you’re not wearing anything besides your lacy panties and an oversized shirt.

“Your ears are red,” you teased him.

“Well next time you should wear pajamas instead of your underwear to sleep” he winked and placed the mask that you’re going to be using tomorrow and sat on the edge of your bed.  

“What are you? A stranger? You’re so far, come here” you invited him under your sheets and lie in bed face to face like nothings bothering you two. You put your hand above his head and feel his soft locks, careful not to grip so hard and hurt the man you used to have feelings for.

This is why Jaehyun can’t move on from you. You always make him feel like he’s your favorite person in the world.

“Are you going to leave me hanging again after we have sex tomorrow?” You confronted him.

“That’s impossible now, we live together” he giggles and catches your hand so he could hold it.

“Just promise me after the sex tomorrow we’ll still be friends” you felt his grip loosen up like he became hopeless like he didn’t like what you just said.

“I was actually going to say that I want us to try again. Get things right this time”

And in that very moment, your world stopped and your body feels hot, suddenly you’re sweating and your heart is beating faster. To be honest you don’t know what to say.

Then,

“Kidding. I’m kidding. Just making you laugh before you sleep, and y-yeah. I promise nothing will change between us, cross my heart” he got up from your bed, turned off the lights and turned on your lampshade. “Sleep well okay?”

And just like that, he left again. You don’t know if you were relieved that it was only a joke or your heart broke because deep inside, you’re waiting for him to tell you that ever since Freshman year. Nonetheless, you do what you do best. Sleep it off and pretend nothing happened.

On the next day, you were at the kitchen preparing breakfast and spacing out while you flip pancakes. Most of them got burnt and you blame Jaehyun for that.

“I told you to sleep, didn’t I?”

There he goes again, startling you and flashing a very handsome smile at you like you’re not about to do something stupid later. “Johnny went to work early and took an overtime tonight just so you won’t get shy” he hands you a glass of water, figured you might need one because you looked so tensed.

“We can always text him when we're done” you added, he nods. And there’s the awkward silence again.

You finish your breakfast in one go, not even looking at Jaehyun. Usually, during breakfast, you talk mostly about your plans within the day but given the situation right now, obviously, you don’t want to know his plans because that includes you. Good thing the day went on normally. You cleaned the living room, he cleaned the kitchen, you cleaned your room, he cleaned his. You saw him changing his bedsheets and you think that’s a sweet gesture, you wanted to tease him but that won’t help you with your nervousness so you just smiled at him when he caught you looking.

When it’s finally afternoon and you’re going to fuck live in a few minutes, you were surprised at what he did to his room just so you won’t get nervous anymore. The golden ray of afternoon light was perfect and helped you calm in no time, Jaehyun lit some scented candles and lowered the thermostat of his air conditioning so you won’t get cold.

“Thought I should make this special- not that I’m saying our first wasn’t “ he rambles and scratches his head, ears turning red and now you can see that he’s nervous too. “But come on, I want to do right for you” he caresses your shoulders and nods his head as a signal that you two needed to start.

The mood was nothing like your first, there was no sexual tension or any sign of desire to fuck each other. In other words, he looked like he’s just doing this for the dorm rent and you are too. That’s why maybe stripping in front of Jaehyun while your back is against him was easier than you thought. But you didn’t know that the man was craving for you. He wanted to be the one removing your clothes while his lips roam on your neck, make you feel good and wanted just before the live starts. He wanted to do that.

“Remember your promise okay?” You put on your mask and Jaehyun did too. He was still fully clothed and while you’re lying in his bed comfortably, watching him strip in front of you but not for you. The camera is right above your head so the viewers can imagine that they are the ones having sex with Jaehyun. If that won't give you a lot of money then you don’t know what will.

Jaehyun was a natural, you wanted to tell him that he does look like a pornstar but you’re not allowed to talk. When he finally crawled on the bed, straight between your legs and spread them according to his want, a shiver went straight to your spine and immediately made you wet. He shamelessly kissed your inner thighs first and went all the way up until he reaches your lips.

Finally. You both thought.

But his kisses were different and you wonder why. You feel like you’re not kissing Jaehyun because you know how his kiss can affect you, although his touch was still the same. He can still make you jolt and part your lips with just using his fingers and a few teasing here and there. And when he finally put his cock inside you, that’s the part where you finally believe that Jaehyun is indeed the one in bed with you right now. You will never forget how that cock feels inside you, “I miss you” he whispered very softly, hoping that the viewers did not hear it.

Time flies so fast that the live will end in ten minutes now and Jaehyun has been fucking you deep and slow like he’s savoring the feeling again. When you heard him grunt and moan, that made your toes curl and clench accidentally around him. Making him groan a little louder and fuck you a bit faster. You moaned so loud just so he knows you’re very much close to your high, and in just a few minutes you both cum together and the next thing you know he’s pulling out and letting his cum land on top of your pussy lips for the viewer’s pleasure.

Fuck you wish he didn’t pull out.

He grabbed his phone from above you and turned the damn timer off because you may not know, but the timer was screaming at him that his time with you is over. You removed your mask and he removed his too. And there you saw tears in his eyes, or maybe those are sweat? Nonetheless, you asked him what’s wrong and made him look at you. But instead of answering your question, he kissed you. Hands on both sides and cupping your face as he kisses you deeper.

And there’s that kiss you’ve been waiting for. The kiss that you’ve been wanting to experience again for years and years. You shouldn’t be happy, but you’re actually genuinely happy that your rent pay is late and you get to do this again with Jaehyun.

“I missed you too” finally you said it.

He smiled so sweetly to you and went back to the kiss, spreading your legs again, checking your slit if you’re still wet. And without further ado, he thrust in. Slowly again, but this time he’s proving a point. Like he’s telling you something. And now that you can see his face, you can’t help but feel excited and the butterflies in your stomach are very much excited too that you were smiling in between kisses.

“Ride me” he says, and effortlessly he trades places with you. Holding you on your back, lips still locked like you’re not planning to stop any time soon. And for your own pleasure, you guided his hands and made him knead your boobs. He did more than kneading, Jaehyun sucked your nipples and pinched them to hear you moan.

“A lot has changed Jae” you said, pushing him down to the mattress and intertwined your fingers with his, kissed them and placed them on your hips. You started rolling your hips without a warning, making the man underneath you close his eyes and part his lips. There are many things you wanted to do with him now that you had the privilege to ride him, but you decided to go hard because this might be the last time you’re going to fuck Jaehyun again.

You ride him like you didn’t have sex for years. Skin slapping from rolling your hips faster than he expected, letting your boobs bounce in front of him and letting him touch them whenever he wants to. “It’s hard to pull out when you’re on top, want to switch places?” He was struggling to talk, obviously he’s trying so hard not to cum yet but you’re good at what you’re doing.

“Not tonight” and that promise just made Jaehyun moan deliciously like he’s excited to cum now just so he can experience cumming inside you.

“Y-yeah. That’s right Y/n fuck me. Oh you fuck me so good! Shit- why did I ever let you go. Fuck”

The thing is, you love seeing him all fucked up and love hearing him praise the way you fuck him... but he chose the wrong words. And those words went straight to your heart. The words ‘Why did I ever let you go?’ repeated over and over again while you ride so fast that you’re overstimulating him already. He was begging for you to stop but it was too late when you heard him.

When you finally stopped, you see his cum dripping from your pussy even though you’re not yet removing his cock from you. You catch your breath for a second and came closer to Jaehyun. Good thing he has enough strength to hug you and roll you to the mattress so he could have the honor to pull his cock out.

“You’re right a lot has changed,” he says because his silly crush on you grew and grew and now he’s completely in love with you. “Let’s not shower together, I’m afraid I’ll lure you to have shower sex with me”

“And what’s so wrong about that” you bite back.

“Oh so you’re confident now huh,” he kissed you once again, and shit you never want him to leave your lips.

But every good thing comes to an end. You went back to your room and showered separately, as planned and when you went to the living room, he was all cleaned up and looking so fresh. He was wearing his glasses, hair almost covering his eyes, he looked cozy in his oversized shirt and his favorite plaid pajamas. “Come here,” He pats the seat next to him, signaling you to come watch Netflix with him. Surprisingly, his arms wrapped around you and kept you close to him, subtly smelling your shampoo. He giggled at the thought of imagining you taking a shower while smiling because the sex was fucking awesome.

He played a movie and watched it with you just so he can still keep you close to him. Not even halfway through the movie, he caught you sleeping soundly on his lap and slowly covered your exposed legs with the blanket on the couch. He pats and pats your head until his attention was no longer in the movie that he’s watching but his mind lingers to what happened earlier and eventually fell asleep beside you too.

It was very late when Johnny went home and caught you two all snuggled up on the couch, snoring and slept through to what you were watching. He had a hunch that you two had a great time, smiled and turned off the TV, and wished you both a good night's sleep.

“I have bad news” Johnny announces as you and Jaehyun wake up together on the couch, all smiles and in an incredibly good mood but Johnny was quick to ruin that. “The money you earned from yesterday’s live was not enough”

You don’t know why Jaehyun was still smiling at you even though what Johnny just told you completely ruined your day already. “That’s not bad news, right?” He whispers to you and gave you a look. “I’m okay with doing it again until we cover everything” Jaehyun says to Johnny while you three sit in front of each other, drinking your coffees.

“I’ll work double shifts at the radio station- are you fine with doing it again Y/n?” Johnny asks, and for a second there you feel like you’re in the hot seat.

“Y-yeah. I’m okay with it” you scratch your nape and awkwardly sip your coffee, “it’s easy money, I think if we do more lives we can cover three months pay”

“More lives it is. Don’t worry John, I’ll take other slots at the radio station too for groceries and stuff” Jaehyun added.

The live fucking continues and so is fooling around with Jaehyun, having better sex every after going live and whenever Johnny is not around. It’s like playing with fire, but you don’t exactly know if what you’re doing is wrong or right because you’re both single, so why are you guys hiding? You don’t get it, but you just go with the flow, enjoy what’s happening and hope for the best.

Every sex you have grown more and more intense to the point that your beds are moving and that gives you better reviews in live fucking. Not to mention the money is better now and you’re saving up faster than expected. But whenever the camera is off and you’re having sex without an audience, you guys fuck like you’re together and you love each other.

Sweet love bites here and there, sincere praises and longer kisses. For Jaehyun he feels like he’s having a dream because he gets to do the things he wanted to do with you. Remove your clothes while kissing you, whisper the things he has been holding back to say for years, and make you feel loved and important.

And just like the sex, your cuddling session became even warmer and sweeter. Cuddling after you take a shower has always been your thing, he visits you in your room with damped hair and you help him dry his hair, Netflix and chill, or order in and have a great meal together.

Days went by and you’re getting used to this sweet Jaehyun and you well know that’s dangerous. But you love every dangerous thing about Jaehyun. The following days grew extremely sweet and intimate. You sleep in his room every night and basically do everything together from now on. The only time you two were apart is during class hours but after that, Jaehyun is right outside your classroom waiting for you.

“What are you doing?” you giggle and try to finish the book you’re reading in bed when Jaehyun suddenly entered your room, crawled on your bed, and went in between your legs. Removing your glasses for safety, inviting you to fuck while Jaehyun nibs your ear and caress your legs. Oh his kisses always make your head turn and ask for more.

“Johnny is not around and I just took a shower, hmm? What do you say?” He uses that cute tone that can always make you stop what you’re doing and say yes to him. Forget the book, you can finish it later.

Removing your shorts and underwear while he continuously kisses you, smiling and giggling while he whispers ‘you always look pretty’ before he removes your shirt and exposes your boobs to him. You tried getting up and help him remove his clothes, but he stopped you and kissed you down on the mattress. “Nu-uh. Stay there I’ll treat you good tonight” he winked and proceeds to remove his clothes in between your spread legs, your hands roam freely in his well sculpted and fucking beautiful body.

Then he reached for your phone and took a nice picture while you two are kissing. The sound of the camera clicking made your eyes open, “send me this picture later. So I can stop missing you” you smiled and nod, then Jaehyun took one too many pictures so he could focus on you again. When he’s finally contented with all the pictures he got, he finally thrust in deep and slow while his mouth is sucking one of your nipples and he looks incredibly handsome.

This time, it’s you who grabbed your phone and took some pictures of him sucking your boobs and making you feel good, taking some pictures of his cock inside your pussy while he thrusts. Jaehyun had the idea of taking a video while you two fuck but this time, it’s for his and your eyes only. He took the phone from you and recorded how he fucks you good, and did not miss the part where you part your lips and moan.

“Jaehyun I’m almost there” you moan out, fingerings raking his nape or on his beautiful body. He puts the camera on the bedside table with a perfect angle of him fucking you, without masks or any cover. He intertwines his fingers with yours before he fucks you hard and fast. The camera that’s recording everything was completely forgotten and Jaehyun focused on making you feel good, making you cum at least two times using his dick and his fingers.

After your second high you were so exhausted that you were breathing heavily and Jaehyun is helping you to calm down while kissing your boobs and sucking them playfully. Even your cute moments like this was caught on camera and Jaehyun was more than happy about it.

“You okay? Want to cum for the third time?” He reached for your phone, stop the recording and went back in between your legs again and kiss you wherever he wants. You didn’t answer him ‘yes’ because to be completely honest you were still exhausted and he understood you well. For a good quiet minutes he was just staring at you, flashing his dimples, raking his fluffy hair and biting his lips at the same time. The silence felt good and not the usual awkward silence you have.

“The next live that we will be doing is going to be our last. And our dorm rent will be settled in no time” he started.

“And?”

“I’ll miss you”

Ouch. You wish he kept the quietness and peace instead. Just as you thought that life will now let you be with Jaehyun peacefully, here comes the heartbreak again. Truth is Jaehyun is still scared and very much afraid to hurt you that’s why he just wanted to fix himself before he could date you officially. He didn’t want to pursue his feeling with you just because you did porn together and fucked live, no you deserve better than that.

He loves you. So much, but he’s not ready yet.

You wanted to shout at him and asked him what else does he want from you? He is so good at making you feel like you’re always not enough for him and that makes your mind go crazy. He did it again. He left you hanging again when you’ve completely fallen in love with him. Turns out he’s not willing and ready to catch you. But as usual, you do what you do best. Shrugged it off and continue to live like it’s not bothering you.  

The live fucking and porn making stopped for a while because you and Jaehyun have final exams. And the awkwardness between you and Jaehyun came back in no time, nonetheless, it was a good week to have a breather and to let yourself think straight. But still, you can’t help but think about everything and miss Jaehyun.

“Are you on your way home?” Johnny asks Jaehyun through the phone.

“Yeah, just buying us dinner”  

“Good. Y/n is on her period”

“Am I suppose to be happy because I didn’t get her pregnant?” He chuckled proudly and having no clue what Johnny was saying.

“Take care of her she has period cramps dumb ass!“

“Oh right- right… sorry. Okay, yeah”

When Jaehyun arrived with the stuff that Johnny told him to buy for you and the dinner Jaehyun bought you, you were twisting in hurt inside your room grunting and very vocal about the pain while you hug the hot compress Johnny left you when Jaehyun entered your room.

“Ah- fuck it hurts” you groan and curl yourself, pressing that hot compress more on your lower abdomen and endure your period cramps. Jaehyun is just so sweet to stay beside you and rub your back while he watches you suffer.

“I want to help. Do you need anything other than that hot compress?” He was concerned and willing to make you feel better.

“Nothing I’m fine. You’re so sweet” you said in a little irritated tone but you’re not actually irritated with him. He scrolls through his phone with one hand, while the other is rubbing and caressing your back to give you comfort.

“Google says sex is good when-“

“I’m not having period sex with you, Jaehyun” but you do want him to touch you. Stupid hormones. Stupid period. It just makes you crave for him even more, desperate for even a kiss, or even just with his body closer to you.

“Are you horny?” He asks without shame, smiling at you and hoping that you say yes.

“I am” you admitted

“Just say yes, I got you” he was like seducing you, luring you to sin with him tonight while you bleed. And you like it.

“Okay” you answered softly. Shy but he knew you’re not that type anymore.

Jaehyun scoop over and went under the covers with you. Giving you that warmth that you need, making your body warm and comfortable, and basically giving everything you want. He intertwines his fingers with you, kissed your knuckles, and then your lips. Softly. Slowly. It’s every girl’s dream kiss. And just like his kiss, his hand creeps under the covers, all the way down until he reaches your thighs and spread one leg to gain access to your hole.

“W-wait. Let me just remove the tampon” shyly you inform him and discarded it quickly under the covers and throw it into the trash bin. Going back to the comfort that Jaeyun is giving you, his hand went back in between your legs and tease your clothed slit the moment you’re back under the covers. Smiling so handsomely and innocently while he lies beside you like he’s not doing something lustful under the covers.

“Do you think this will work-“ and just before you finish your question, Jaehyun ran a finger on your very wet slit which turned him on immediately. He flicked his finger, drawing small circles in your nub and listening to you moan while your grip on the sheets tightens and try your best not to close your legs.

“Do you like this?” his lips were very close to your neck and the way he talks to you was so sultry that even his words can make you moan.

“Mhmm. F-fuck Jae, my clit is sensitive” but your legs say others wise because you spread them even more under the covers and your hips voluntarily move to meet his fingers. When he felt your legs shake and hear your moans become higher than usual, he figured you were close, went on top of you and started to hump your thigh while his hand is inside your now ruined panties reaching deep in your hole making you feel good and over sensitive. Jaehyun grunted so loud and moaned deliciously beside your ear, moving his hips like how he fucks you and you feel his hard cock poke your thigh from the inside of his pants. Soon, Jaehyun came inside his pants and did not care about being embarrassed.

While you were coming down from your high, the man on top of you kept kissing you like you’re all that matters to him. Even though you well know that you’re just fooling yourself.

The night ended with Jaehyun sleeping beside you and further taking care of you after you both cleanup. But you woke up the next day without him beside you and thankfully, Johnny came out of nowhere to rescue you from your ugly thoughts. He came into your room with a cup of coffee and some bread for you, smiling like he has no problems in life and to be honest, you love how he’s always like this.

Since both of you don’t have classes today, you went to the groceries with Johnny and had a nice dinner at a fast food he loves. It felt great. It felt great to be with a guy who’s not Jaehyun. The man always keeps you on your toes and you feel like your head is always in the clouds whenever you’re with him but Johnny, he keeps you grounded.

“Shoot. The landlord is really testing me- he wants the money tonight or else they have to kick us out tomorrow. Fuck!” He says typing aggressively on his phone, telling Jaehyun immediately.

“Were not due until next week why are they doing this to us. We have no choice but to go live then” you said calmly, unbothered as much as possible because you just want this to be over now and move on from Jaehyun.

“You can't. You have your period and Jaehyun is not available- fuck why is he not picking up”

“There are other ways to make a guy cum Johnny. I’m sure you know that” you chuckle and shook your head in disbelief.

“Still, Jaehyun is not answering” he gave up and put down his phone.

“Well you’re available. I just want this to be over Johnny” clearly he didn’t expect you to suggest such a thing. You continue to eat your food in silence and so is the man in front of you. Obviously, he was bothered with what you suggested but it appears that he has no choice. You watch him fidget on his phone, maybe he’s not yet done contacting Jaehyun and still hoping that his friend will end up last minute but...

“Okay” he let a sigh of relief, “I texted Jaehyun that well do it but we're not going to uhm- uh, fuck. Blow job then? No more, no less? A bit of kissing maybe. Tell me what do you want? I’ll be able to do this comfortably if I know that you like what I’m doing to you”

“Hmm. Okay, let’s start by... be gentle with me. You’re a big guy and you know... what I mean”

“I may be big physically but I’m warm on the inside, being gentle is not a problem” he smiles and pour you a glass of water before he asks for the bill. “What else?” he added.

“Touch me, don’t hesitate. If you feel like my jaw needs rest then you can tell me to stop” he nods and told you he will surely not forget about that.

The conversation went on until you reached home and get ready for the live. Unlike Jaehyun who made you feel so nervous the day you had your first live with him, Johnny makes you feel calm and comfortable the whole time.

Now that you’re in front of Johnny, half naked with only your panties and your mask on, everything happened perfectly. It wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t awkward too, and quite frankly you had fun with Johnny. Even though the audience noticed that you’re not with Jaehyun right now, they can’t help but love Johnny’s hot body too and the way he fuck your face gently in front of the camera. Hands cupping both sides of your face as he thrust his long, hard and veiny cock in your mouth. Smiling through the pleasure whenever you purposely swirl your tongue and bob your head aggressively.

After the cum-filled and messy live with Johnny, you wired the money to your landlord immediately and secure the rent for good until the three of you graduates. Now you and Johnny can breathe normally after cleaning up and enjoy the warmth of your bed. “Do you like Jaehyun?” He blurted out, trying not to look at your exposed boobs but you roll your body and face the ceiling and so his efforts went to waste.

“Yeah but I don’t think he likes me enough. Y-you know what I mean” he shook his head to tell you he has no idea about Jaehyun’s intentions with you.

“Just have patience with him if you like him, after all, you’re the only girl that can do this to him”

“Do what?” you ask with eagerness.

“Did you really think that I won't notice you two fucking behind my back?” You laughed at what he said and laughed your shyness away, “but it’s alright. I figured maybe you like each other so I didn’t dare stop you two”

The giggling and laughing with Johnny under the soft light of your lampshade continued until you passed out and Johnny was the one who helped you get dressed. And on the same night, Jaehyun heard and saw you and Johnny laugh over a half closed door. Seeing your bodies close to each other made his blood boil and became jealous in no time. That’s why on the next day, Jaehyun was expressing his anger while you three are gathered in the kitchen. He’s not saying a word, but he kept on closing the cabinets a little too rough while he prepares his meal. Then it hit you, he’s jealous.

You confronted him and went to his room, closed and locked the door so Johnny won't hear the unpleasant conversation you’re about to have with Jaehyun. “Don’t be angry with Johnny, I’m the one who suggested it-“

“Like that’s going to make me feel better Y/n. Get out, you’re wasting your time” he turned his back and proceeds to fix his bed.

“It’s not like we cheated Jae. Were not together” you blurted as calm as possible. Little did you know that you just triggered something in him that makes him want to punch a wall and pour his anger out but he can’t. At least not in front of you. So instead, he shouted at you. So loud that you got scared for a second there.

“You know, I’m always afraid to hurt you but you! You don’t care if you hurt me!”

“Don’t act as if you love me, Jae. You never did. You never even tried!” You shouted back and walked away towards his door, banging it and walked straight to your room with tears in your eyes.

The fight was short but unforgettable.

Later that day, Jaehyun got worried when you didn’t eat lunch and dinner and your door was still locked and he can hear you crying from the other side. He kept on knocking at your door until you got annoyed and unlocked it but you covered yourself with your thick sheets.

“Come on why are you crying? Don’t cry over a stupid guy like me you don’t deserve it. I’m sorry” you feel his embrace and rub your back so you know that he’s sincere. And finally, you removed the sheets but still, you don’t want to look him in the eye.

You have a lot of questions for Jaehyun, and you think now is the perfect time to cry it all out and let him know what he’s doing to you. Why he didn’t text you back the night after you fuck for the first time, why he never ask you out when he promised he would, why he’s jealous all of a sudden.

FLASHBACK (In the middle of junior year)

It was very late already and some crazy person is ringing your doorbell nonstop. This couldn’t be Jaehyun or Johnny obviously they don’t need to ring the doorbell because they live here and they know the code. That’s why you were surprised that Jaehyun is the one ringing it and turns out he is batshit drunk and can’t even remember the code. “Where is Johnny when you need him” you murmur, “Jae, help yourself too. I can’t carry you all the way up to the fourth floor,” you said sternly to the handsome guy clinging on to you, breath smells like alcohol, eyes lidded but can still appreciate your beautiful face.

When you finally carried him successfully back to your place, without any hesitation he puked on your sleepwear and smiled so sweetly at you like he did nothing wrong. You wanted to slap him and wake him from his drunken state but Jaehyun was quick with his hands and unbutton your sleepwear and used it to wipe the small amount of puke on the floor.

You cover yourself with your arms and walked straight to your room and get a clean shirt before you take care of Jaehyun. He was murmuring “sorry” as he sees you walk away from him and weakly sit on the floor with dirty clothes and hope that you will come back to him.

When he sees you all dressed up again with a damped cloth on your hand, he smiled and spread his arms like he’s about to give you a hug. “Why are you acting cute- here hold this while I remove your socks” you hand him the damped cloth and proceed to remove his dirty socks and throw it with your dirty sleepwear. He looks at you lovingly as you wipe his face with the utmost care, looking at your lips and thinking about kissing it but no. He may be drunk but he won’t do that to you.

“Go on a date with me,” he says while you continue to wipe his face and help him take off his hoodie. You giggle and boops his nose before you stand and help him to get on his feet, “try asking me again when you’re sober” you opened his room door and told him to don’t forget to change his pants and greet him good night.

But after a few minutes, you’re all tucked in bed and half asleep already when you feel a pair of arms cage you. You can still smell his breath and figured maybe Jaehyun is clingy like this whenever he’s really drunk, which rarely happens.

“It's so sweet, knowing that you love me. Though we don't need to say it to each other, sweet. Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers through your hair. It's so sweet” he sings a few lines from Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex and smells your hair until his breath tickles your nape.

Sweet. He’s not only clingy while he’s drunk, but he’s sweet too. “I think I like you more when you’re rarely this drunk” you turn your body and faced him. Seeing Jaehyun with sleepy eyes, lips curved in a weak smile, but arms conscious enough to keep you near him.

“Then I’ll get drunk every day if that makes you love me”

But on the next day, he just thanked you for taking care of him and forgot about the date. And on the next few days and following weeks, you hear him fuck different girls and have one night stands every now and then.

BACK TO PRESENT TIME SENIOR YEAR

“I keep on hurting you I’m sorry. Don’t cry, please. I hate that I’m hurting you. This is the reason why I can’t pursue my feelings for you. I’m a mess and I’m not ready”

And just as you thought that this day couldn’t get any worse. It just did. You look at Jaehyun as he tells you the truth and admits his true feelings with you. How he fell in love with you but chose not to pursue his feelings because he’s not ready and you deserve better. And from there you stopped listening to him and told him to leave you alone. Jaehyun was speechless and hopeless, he wanted to explain and express his long bottled feelings for you but you don’t want to.

All this time you thought that it’s you who’s lacking that’s why he can’t even try and ask you out. But now that you know the truth and he would rather make you feel small than swallow his pride and try to make things work with you, well you just can’t be around him anymore.

Graduation is approaching near and your dorm has been quiet ever since you finished paying the rent and Jaehyun got mad because of what you and Johnny did. You look at the quiet place while you eat your instant noodle and reminisce the good days you spent with the two giants who made your college years unforgettable and happy. Actually, they even made your life easier.

Days become even more lonely now that Jaehyun and Johnny became busy with their last requirements and you’ve been alone for a few days now. You wake up without the two boys, go to class or run some errands, they go home but you’re not home, and by the time you arrive home they have shifts to the radio station again.

Today is your birthday and you spend it with some of your classmates which are all sweet and you treat them to dinner. Johnny left a bouquet of flowers on your bed before he left for work, together with a sweet happy birthday card. And Jaehyun… well, let’s just say that maybe he forgot about it because being a graduating student makes you busy.

While you were having a nice dream of Jaehyun singing a happy birthday song to you with a small cupcake in his hand, in reality, he woke you up by patting your head and a kiss on your forehead, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ and kissing your face until you’re awake and what’s happening right now is finally registering in your mind. You wrapped your arms around him and decided to forgive him for being stupid and accept his apology. “Is this for me?” you point at the chocolate cake on the bedside drawer a blew the candle, making your room dark and only the soft light from your window lights up your room.

“What did you wish for” he came closer to you and rests his forehead on yours. Oh you missed his presence, but all you feel right now is the heartbreak and remember what happened a few weeks ago.

“You, Jaehyun” you whisper and closed your eyes, not caring if there are tears in your eyes. You’re not afraid to show him that you ache for him.

“I told you, I can’t-“ you didn’t want to hurt yourself further and listen to those hurtful words so you kissed him and pulled him on top of you.

Everything happened so fast and naturally. You removed your shorts, he was quick to spread your legs and free his hardening cock. Not even bothering to reach for a condom, he fucked you in the dark and whispered “I’m sorry” over and over again that it hurts your ear and your heart so you put your thumb in his mouth and let him suck it good while his thrust was slowly picking up the pace and you hear skin slapping surrounds your room

“Jaehyun-“ you moan his name when you felt that familiar feeling of being on edge but you’re not yet ready to let go. You’re not yet ready to let him go. So you tried with all your might to clench and stop yourself from cumming but what you’re doing to Jaehyun just makes him want to fuck you more.

And so he did.

He covered your mouth not because he didn’t want to let Johnny know that you’re fucking but because he never wants to hear your beautiful moans again. He closed his eyes so he could no longer see your face and dream about you underneath him, and with that, he continues to thrust so harshly that it’s hurting you so good and your grip on his shoulders will surely leave a mark.

Soon you failed and cum before Jaehyun could. You exchanged sharp exhales, gasps, and quiet grunts before he lies beside you and kiss you deeply the whole night. One last time.  

As expected, you woke up alone in your bed with a sore body. You stretched for a few minutes before you got out of bed and head outside to have breakfast. At first, you thought that you will be alone again today but turns out Johnny is free.

“Belated Happy birthday. Did you like the flowers I got you?” he greets you good morning and gave you a bear hug.

“I did. I put it in a vase, it’s in my room. Thank you” now that Johnny is here and you’re not alone eating breakfast, you can’t help but wish for Jaehyun to be here.

“Jaehyun is uhm… working. I can take you out today, let’s have dinner and celebrate your birthday again. What do you say?” he offers excitedly and even showed you a great restaurant from his phone.

When the evening comes and you and Johnny should be out by now but you were having a hard time to chose what to wear, Jaehyun arrived out of nowhere with a girl on his shoulders. Someone not familiar and they’re holding hands.

“I think your friends are going out on a date aren’t they babe?” the girl asks Jaehyun, like she's tying to get his attention but Jaehyun’s eyes are glued on you. Eyes that are very much sorry because he didn’t mean for you to see his new girlfriend after your birthday. So this is why Johnny was rushing you tonight. He didn’t want you to see Jaehyun with his new girlfriend because he knew it will hurt you greatly.

“Y/n-“ Jaehyun called you but you didn’t bother looking back and told Johnny that you’re ready now… even though your earrings don't match with your dress. If he can try and be in a relationship with someone else then what does that make you? Why can’t he try for you?

The night went on, carrying the lie that you’re okay but to be honest, you don’t want to go back to that fucking dorm. Good thing, Johnny was trying so hard to cheer you up and make you forget about what happened. Which is working and for that you’re thankful.

On the same night, you swore to yourself that you will never let Jaehyun into your life again and make you feel small. You will never throw yourself to him again, or even spare a glance and waste your time with the one and only guy whom you allowed to break your heart over and over again. But not anymore.

Jaehyun was nothing but sweet to you and that’s all he’ll ever be.

Five years later

When you came home from work, you caught your boyfriend cooking dinner with a glass of cold wine beside him. You greet him, “hey” and kissed him on the cheek before you wrap your arms around his strong built body.

“Tired? Hows work? I have big news” he says while stirring something from the pan. You told him he could tell the big news first because he looks excited, and so he did. With big smiles and overflowing excitement, he said that “Jaehyun is going to get married and I’m his best man!” you almost let out a laugh but you stopped yourself.

“Mhmm. Guess who’s taking care of the wedding....” you teased him. But just as you burst your boyfriend’s bubble, his reaction was quite unexpected.

“N-no, don’t tell me it’s you” he suddenly stopped cooking, he wasn’t mad. Just shocked at the moment and because of the big news.

“Johnny- Don’t tell me you’re being jealous right now...” you tease him further, “he’s like a college fling baby, and you’re the real deal!” you kiss him on the lips but he’s still sulking and went back to cooking.

“We both know it’s not just a fling” he whines.

“He’s getting married and we’re literally inseparable. What are you so jealous of? You know I saw Jaehyun looked at his fiancé and guess what,”

“What?” he turns off the stove and prepared two plates for dinner which you helped him do.

“He never looked at me that way, but you did” you see a shy smile on his face now and poke his cheek but he's quick to catch your hand and pull you into a hug. The kind of hug only Johnny can provide.

“Sorry, that was so childish of me”

“It’s okay. Dinner looks good, is this a new recipe?”

Soon after dinner, Johnny expresses his apology in bed in many ways he can, making you feel good and treating you right as always until it became too exhausting because you don’t think you could cum anymore after having your fourth…or fifth? To be honest you’re not sure anymore.

But even though you’re tired and exhausted, you still can’t help but reminisce. Throughout the years of forgetting Jaehyun, Johnny has always been patient with you and waited for you to heal from Jaehyun. Johnny brought you to the movies and went out with you while Jaehyun only promised. It's like Jaehyun kept promising you things but Johnny is the one keeping them.

“I thought you’re exhausted?” He kissed your shoulder to bring you back to Earth when he saw you spacing out. “Stop thinking. I’ll marry you too, you know that right?” oh you know that all too well, so you nod and kissed him. Whispered ‘i love yous’ over and over again, and thanked him for being the one for you. It was never easy for both of you, but still, you yearn for each other. Sometimes, love will point us to the wrong person so we could find the right person to us. Yes, Jaehyun was sweet, but Johnny is not only sweet in fact he showed his love to you since day 1.

[sheepwasfound]

dnf moments caught from within the chaos (every single one)

 march 10th george alt stream

 ***

first video:

00:11:40-00:12:30 "is that george from dreamhunt?"

00:20:37-00:21:10 g:"me and dream argue about the stupidest things"

(many good sap/gogy sibling moments! and then...)

00:26:49 dream joins in secret and george tries to figure it out

00:27:26 dream gives himself away with a chuckle

00:27:55-00:29:00 "i was watching George's stream, i didn't even know you were streaming"

00:34:08-00:34:45 lil uk travel ban talk

00:36:46 g:"'late nights in the middle of june' this is true x2"

00:37:52-00:38:10 1.5 inches elephant still on george's desk

00:40:56-00:41:12 dream chuckling going "george is so salty"

00:49:04 dream hasn't paid george the $1,000 from geoguessr

00:49:50 dream tries to get george to play geoguessr

00:50:18-00:50:45 george tells dream about dreamhunt guy

00:53:37 d:"im on literally negative sleep"

00:55:57 g:"'tell dream you love him' no."

00:56:27-00:57:00 g:"'george you're the hottest piece of ass in dreamhunt' is that true dream?", d:"maybe it is" + "you're such an idiot"

00:57:14-00:57:54 dream tries to think of who in one direction each one of them are, can't choose for george

00:59:12 d:"he's like the most annoying person on the planet" (prob cus he can't focus on chess cus of gogy)

01:17:36 sapnap doesn't reply to george, dream replies immediately

01:19:26-01:19:40 + 01:21:56-01:22:50 talking about george exposing dream for the s*x tiktok

01:24:13 g:"ok i'm gonna go get water. dream, entertain my stream."

01:29:55-01:32:00 george and sapnap argue over servers, simp dream settles it w/ a "coin flip" (rigged)

01:33:40-01:34:50 sapnap waited for dream to wake up for burger day, s:"george wishes he coulda been a part of that"

01:36:12 d:"i was actually writing lyrics this morning"

01:40:37-01:42:12 stonks talk g:"what do i invest in?" d:"me"

(dreamnap moments interval here...)

01:50:14 s:"should i tweet out a picture of your girlfriend george?", d:"it's gonna be like a picture of my yt icon"

01:52:11-01:52:43 d:"'dnf arc'? yeah maybe", g:"is it a joke to you?"

01:52:57-01:53:11 sapnap and dream don't send george good morning texts & it upsets him

01:53:13-01:53:45 george didn't laugh at dream's joke, so dream calls him out for not paying attention

01:53:51 g:"'pretty privilege is real and you have it!' is this true dream?" d:"yeah. yeah"

01:54:13-01:54:55 sapnap accusing george of having a girlfriend, g:“dream, should we just tell them?”

01:59:30-01:59:50 g:“’can you say bleepbleep dream?’ no i can’t say that”, d:”just say it. george.”

02:02:00 g:“’is it true quackity and dream constantly fight for your love?’ it’s true”

02:02:10-02:03:00 d:”we were in our, like, linked arc. except for opposites …attract”

02:03:30 dream starts going through his texts with george

02:04:30 d:”my favorite number is…one second, i’m pulling up my george contact”

02:05:35-02:06:20 dream reads out their texts about waking up at the same time & having s*x

02:06:33-02:08:00 george’s “ayo muffin man” text to dream where he asked if he could make a joke about dream’s cheating drama, d:”you were being a good friend”

02:07:02 g:”we don’t text that much” d:”we text, like, everyday, but…”

02:08:36 first video ends

***

second video:

00:10:35 george shoots dnf on a wall, d:”you’re so dumb”, s:”what?”, d:”george”

00:14:30 g:”dream come baaaaackk”

00:16:22 dream in the bg laughing alone “this text is so funny! this text is amazing” (note: he started going through their texts, like, 20 mins ago)

00:17:25-00:17:58 george’s first text to dream: “hi loser”, sapnap asking about his first text, d:”that’s different”

00:20:38-00:21:00 s:”maybe if you were watching my stream instead of watching george’s all the time” + s:“maybe if you weren’t in your, like, dnf arc all the time”

00:22:40-00:23:15 g:“’george and dream’s brotherly relationship is so iconic’ brotherly?”, d:”someone in chat said ‘the alabama arc’”

00:26:05-00:26:30 pickle dick g:”dick-…dip his hands in the pickle jar”

00:27:05 d:”you’re an idiot george, you’re such a, you’re such a dick”

00:30:29-00:41:45 discussion about covid travel rules and george going to florida, george heatedly going through every possible trick to get there but dream being responsible about it

00:34:00 g:”dream, get me a private jet”

00:34:56 g:”i’ll just stay”, d:”for how long?”, g:”forever.”

00:36:13 gnf charity for private jet and then george will grapple down from a helicopter, d:”you’re such an idiot x2”

00:36:51 g:”i’m not actually joking” + g:”no it’s not impossible!” *checks cost of a private jet*

00:38:20 d:”you need to double it cus you have to go back” g:”i’m not going back. i’m not going back”

00:38:38 about deportation g:”dream, you can just protect me dream, just don’t let them take me away”

00:39:29 about deportation g:”then what if i never go back, what if i just never go back?”

00:40:01 g:”wait i have an idea dream. what if you just married me?” s:”you’re not allowed to marry someone to get them in the country”, g:”well that’s not the only reason”

00:41:13 g:”’sounds like dream doesn’t wanna meet you’ yeah he doesn’t”

00:43:43 g:”to be fair you are in your silly goose arc”, d:”i’m not in any goose arc” *mutual giggling*

00:44:45-00:45:25 discussion about obama escorting george on his private jet

00:47:38 dono:“you visiting dream is not a no, it’s a not yet”

00:50:21 g:”’just admit it, you’re madly in love with dream and you’re using this as an excuse to marry him’ no. this is false”, g:”i’m in my hating dream arc right now” d:”well, i mean … it’s about to be in a different arc though”

00:50:40 finishing each other’s sentences

00:50:50 s:”i wish karl was here.”, s:”at least i would have someone to be like, in love with, jesus”

00:51:29 d:”sapnap third wheel arc” s:”you guys may flirt and stuff, but me and you have physical s*x” d:”oh my goddd, what the hell?! that’s too far!”

00:54:43 sapnap teasing george about being able to cuddle dream, g:”i don’t care, i don’t care”

00:56:27 george teasing sapnap about having a gf again, s:”you have a dream”

00:56:43 g:”should i play geoguessr?” d:”oh, yes!”

00:57:07 d:”i’m exhausted and i’m laying in bed” (but he’s still staying)

(00:58:30 geoguessr starts, they’re tired and argue a lot)

01:00:48 arguing about colors g:”well you’re wrong” d:”maybe- actually maybe i think that’s- actually you’re right”

01:03:27 george was going to do geoguessr with wilbur today, but is too tired now

01:07:55 d:”if you had asked, i would’ve told you” g:”i didn’t wanna ask, i did it myself” *sassy*

01:13:55 george missed dream’s joke and he called him out for it again

01:17:00 g:”i’m not buying a maid dress” d:*silence*

01:20:10 g:“’dream we need your support to get george in a maid dress’ what do you think dream?”, d:*silence*

01:21:53 g:”you know what dream? i trust you”, d:”no, don’t trust me!”

01:22:50 dono:”when you asked dream if you should wear a maid dress, the silence was so loud” d:*silence*

01:23:23 after george makes a dumb voice d:”why are you reading like that?”, d:”i’m about to leave” (spoiler: he doesn’t leave, just stops looking for 30 secs)

01:24:10 g:”what do you mean you’re not even looking?”, g:”why, do you hate me?”, d:”you were being in your annoying arc”

01:34:28 dono:”do you have a song that makes you think of dream?”, d:”probably heat waves”, + george saying he doesn’t think of dream when listening to songs and dream not buying it

01:36:40 dream replying for him that george’s most listened to travis scott song is goosebumps (aka “their song”)

01:39:50 george confirms goosebumps is his most listened to travis scott song

01:42:26 d:”this is the last game im playing with you”, d:”cus i don’t wanna play with you anymore” (spoiler: it’s not the last one)

01:45:52 g:”alright one more”, d:”no i said i’d-…ok fine whatever one more” (spoiler: it’s not just one more)

01:48:46 dream mishears that george is gonna kiss him

01:54:24 g:”alright here’s the last game guys”, d:”you keep saying that, you keep…leading me on”

01:57:02 d:”that was the last one”, g:”no we said we were ending on a win” (no they didn’t) g:”you can’t leeeeeave, you can’t leave! it’s not allowed”

01:58:17 dono:”what is a place you’ve always wanted to go?”, g:”idk”, d:”america”

01:59:27 g:”i just, i was like…aaaaaghhhhlldududu you know?”, d:”yeah, i do know”

02:05:00 d:”alright, i’m gonna head out”, g:”wait, wait just wait”, g:”why are you in your like salty era?”, d:”why are you in your clingy era?”, d:”i think it would make sense if i left when i want to”, g:”alright, well, leave then, see what happens, you’re gonna regret it, that’s all i know”

02:05:30 dream leaves the call but then immediately starts watching george’s stream until he ends (who’s the one in their clingy era?)

02:06:10 george talks about going to bed (dream’s already in bed so they’re synced once again) 

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: July 10th

I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!

Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.

For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?

There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.

Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0

The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.

Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.

I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.

Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!

Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!

idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately

Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.

Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference! 

Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.

I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀 

I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!

I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked. 

Thank you for reporting ^^

I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~ 

There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!

hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :) 

I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.

Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore 

This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.

HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC 

Thank you for getting it!

Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩

Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.

Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right? 

Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.

Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty! 

Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart

Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe? 

Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.

Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?

No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.

Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in? 

You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!

Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more! 

I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.

is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch? 

A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.

I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. 

If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.

Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :) 

It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.

I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)

L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!

I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.

Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?

I understand if it's too complicated, just curious

Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.

playing our life > anything else 

Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂). 

Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.

Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha 

Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!

Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu 

No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.

Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3 

They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.

I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4? 

Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.

Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol 

Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.

Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc. 

It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.

In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before! 

Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.

I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that? 

It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.

I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever? 

Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.

hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :> 

I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!

Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game? 

OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.

I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1. 

I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.

As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?

They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!

Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.

Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?

You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.

Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you? 

No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.

Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing? 

Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.

Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc? 

He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.

Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments? 

Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.

hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.

sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.

Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.

I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<

Yes you can!

what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress? 

That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.

[realhotgirlshii]

I’m sorry

Aomine cheats on y/n and regrets it years later

the race isn’t mentioned but the reader is black

1.1k words/ request from @aylablack15

part 2

Your whole life just crumbled when you walked in on your best friend and boyfriend fucking. Nothing prepared you for the things you saw and heard. The man you loved and the women you called best friend, cheating on you. "wow' is what you managed to get out while holding back tears. You watch them turn back to look at you and scramble to get their shit together but you already seen enough. As you turning to walk out the door you feel Aomine grab your arm. "Baby, don't leave please let me explain." in a low tone he pleaded. "Explained what! I caught you in bed with my best friend. Answer me this, why? Why did you do this us? I loved you, cared for you. WHEN NO ONE BELIEVED IN YOU, I WAS THERE!" at this point you were yelling and screaming your head off. While he sat there not saying a word, wow...you thought he can't explain himself... then he said "We never had time" in that moment you were heated, filled with anger, sadness, betrayal. Suddenly a smacking noise filled the room, "NEVER HAD TIME. Are you serious? Weren't you the one blow off out dates for practices?! Weren't you the one who cancelled at the last minute. Aomine I made time but you just blew me off." hearing you call him by his last name stung just as much as the slap. You were yelling so much that you hadn't realize Momoi was still standing there. A quiet "Im sorry" is all she could get out and you went off. "I'm sorry, really that's all you got to say? huh? why so quiet now, you weren't so when you was fucking my boyfriend! See I would come over there and beat your ass but I just rather leave and NEVER see y'alls faces again." you hissed at them and turned to grab your keys, phone and purse walking out the door.

 You drove yourself to Kuroko's house, knocking on his door praying he was home. Luckily he was, and once he saw the tears streaming down your face he brought you in and sat you down. That night consisted of you crying and venting everything that happened in Kuroko's chest. Kuroko didn't understand how he could do something like that to you. I mean he loved you and everyone knew y'all loved each other. Every game, practice, meet and conference you were there. Back in high school y'all were the star couple. Well, you were the star couple....

That day you left replays everyday in his head and on top of that he got the wrong woman pregnant. You guys were supposed to get married and have kids. Watch them grow up and grow old together but it never happened. And it was all his fault, for years he called himself an idiot after losing you. You were the best thing he had and he lost it. Over weeks and months he tried to contact you and apologize and tell you he missed you. But one text he sent a few months after the break up caught your eye. You had just got over him and he sends his little sorry ass apologizes but something else too. He knew you loved kids and were so good with them, so when he found out he got Momoi knocked up, you were pissed but not enough to go off. His text was asking you to help him stop his daughter screaming and crying and that Momoi left so he doesn't know what to do. You had half a mind to be petty and say figure it out but you decided to help him after only because Kuroko talked you into it. Once you gave him the directions you told him you were gonna block him and not to contact you anymore. And in that moment you felt a weight lifted from your shoulders. You were less pissed and thought it was more karma.

Years went by as the thought of Aomine Daiki has left your mind. But you never left his, he was miserable without you all these years. He wondered what you were doing, who you were with, how you were doing. But you, you were doing great, you have been married to the wonderful man Kagami Taiga and have 1 daughter with a son on the way. You felt love again even though you didn't think you would, especially after Aomine. You were so happy. Kagami treated you like a queen. Always makes you feel confident and reassure you that he is in love with you. You never had to worry about anything with him. He helped you work out all of the trust issues and insecurities. Whenever you hugged, kissed or just sat with him you felt like you were on cloud 9. Everything felt like a dream with him.

One day you ran into your ex on a little ice cream trip. I mean you were 7 months pregnant and in need of something cold and sweet. You were standing there trying to figure out a flavor and then you heard your name. You turn around to see you cheating ex with a surprised look on his face. He was breathless when he saw you pregnant, and he knows it's not his. "wow long time no see, congrats y/n" he stuttered "yeah long time but i hoped to never see you again" you replied. An awkward silence fell between you two for 4 or 5 minutes and then he asked "who's baby is it" "mine" a deep voice behind you said and there was Kagami. "oh hi baby!" you said excitingly and went to kiss you hubby. Aomine was even more shocked to see it was Taiga who had you now...Hit him hard but he was the idiot that cheated and lost you. But all he could think about was how you and Kagami were, should have been you and him but it's too late. He wanted to apologize for the pain he caused, he wanted you to come back but never that would never happen. He is happy to see you happy but its with someone who isn't him but Kagami. He watched as Taiga brought you all your favorite snacks and ice cream, laughing with each other paying no mind to him standing there. The one person who loved him, supported him, cared for him. The person who brought the best of him is with someone else. Lost in his thought he didn't realized tears were streaming down him face. He went to wipe his eyes full of tears and when he looked back up. You were gone....Long gone away with Taiga to live your happily ever after. All he could mutter out was "I'm sorry y/n, I am so so sorry" before falling on his knees crying. 

[triptuckers]

Two Homes (part 5/7) - Nikolai Lantsov

Request: no Pairing:  Nikolai Lantsov x reader Summary:  even though you were determined to leave the palace as soon as you could, you now find yourself waking up in a luxurious room of the palace months later  Warnings: angst Word count:  4.7K..... yea A/N: for the sake of this series, nikolai never gave alina the lantsov emerald lol also this turned out longer than I planned it to be but do I regret it? maybe a bit not in the slightest, enjoy reading! :) (also I know I posted part 4 like yesterday but I want this one out there cause a lot happens & I want to post part 6 & 7 so bad) PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART TAG LIST (two homes and/or all grishaverse fics): @godsofwriting@im-constantly-fangirling @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15@dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha @story-scribbler @romanoffstarkovs @daliareads @meiitanoia @itsnotquimey (if your name is in bold it means I couldn't tag you) @sanktaesperanza @whymyparentscheckmyphone @aleksanderwh0r3 @ilovemarvelanne1 add yourself to my tag lists here 

For someone who had dreaded going to Os Alta, you find yourself starting to actually like it. After pulling you aside, out of earshot of your father, Nikolai explained to you why he told your father he’d picked you as his bride.

When he told you it was to ensure he couldn’t control your life any longer, you got confused, asking him why he would do such thing. In response, he recalled the conversation you had at the gardens, when you told him your father had been controlling your entire life, and how people had made decisions for him his entire life as well. 

Nikolai merely said he thought you deserved to make your own choices for once. Even if it meant living at the palace, far away from Ketterdam.

You had agreed to stay at the palace. You knew you couldn’t go back to Ketterdam now. The news of Nikolai picking you as his bride would probably travel faster than you’d like to.

While you did like Nikolai, and you enjoyed the little time you had spent with him, you made it clear you still didn’t want to marry him. That a part of still longed for Ketterdam. 

Nikolai listened to you explaining your choices, and respected them. While both of you knew all eyes would be on you after announcing the engagement, you also knew you couldn’t push it back any further. Not after all the rumours. 

He did agree to wait with picking an actual wedding date, giving you enough time to get used to your new life. You had told him you had no intention of marrying him, but over time you found yourself thinking more and more about it.

You’re amazed by the palace, and the life you live now. Every day, you walk around the palace, finding new routes and rooms. You start to think you might never see all of it in one lifetime. And you visit the gardens as well. 

You keep the yellow flower Nikolai had given you next to the mirror in your room. But you’d never tell him that, he’d tease you endlessly about it. 

As more weeks pass by, you spend more time with Nikolai, as well as his triumvirate. He’d invited you to few of their meetings, telling you if you ever did get married, you’d have to attend them as well. And the sooner you got used to it, the better.

At first, it felt a little weird. You walk around with Nikolai and everyone knows you as his future bride. While it feels odd, Nikolai’s presence is a comforting one. And the more you get to know him, the more you actually start to like him. Maybe staying at the palace wouldn’t be so bad as you thought it would be.

He spends a lot of time getting to know you. You have long conversations about your life in Ketterdam and his time in the army. About both of your dreams for the future, and what you want to achieve. But you also talk about small and simple things such as your favourite dish, or a book you love. 

Most of the talks take place in the gardens or your room. You like getting to know the Nikolai beneath the mantle of king. You start to realise the two of you aren’t so different. If you had been born in a different city, you might have been childhood friends. 

On a particularly sunny spring morning, the two of you walk around the gardens again. Nikolai doesn’t even have to offer his arm to you, you already place your hand on it. After some time, you’ve slipped into an easy morning routine, which sometimes includes a walk through the gardens.

‘How long until the Summers Week blooms again?’ you ask him as you walk past the familiar bush.

Nikolai glances at the same bush. ‘Probably a couple of months.’ he says. ‘Why do you ask?’

‘I think they’re beautiful.’ you as the two of you sit down on the same bench you sat on so many months ago, when you had escaped the ball. ‘It really is a shame they only bloom for such a short period of time.’ 

‘Do you still have that one flower I gave you when we met?’ asks Nikolai.

You glare at him. You just know he’d never let you forget it if he knew you kept it. ‘Yes.’ you say. ‘I wouldn’t throw it away.’

And indeed, a smug look appears on Nikolai’s face. ‘I’m delighted you didn’t throw it away.’ he says. 

You playfully roll your eyes. ‘I expect a new one when they bloom again.’ you say.

‘I’ll make sure to give you one, sweetheart.’ he says with a smile. 

You feel your cheeks heat up at the mention of the nickname. He’d called you nicknames on more than one occasion. You still weren’t used to it. Maybe it had to do something with the fact that Nikolai seems to always look good.

You look at the bush again, getting lost in your thoughts. Nikolai seems to notice. After a while of silence, he speaks up.

‘What’s on your mind?’ he asks you.

You wonder when get got so good at reading your face. ‘I’ve been thinking about, well, all of this.’ you say, gesturing to the gardens and the palace behind you. 

Nikolai turns so he can properly look at you. ‘And?’ he says.

‘I have to admit, life at the grand palace isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. And it has been nice not to have my father following me around all day long. I still miss Ketterdam, but maybe not as much as I used to.’ you say. 

You briefly look at Nikolai and notice a faint smile on his lips as he’s listening to you.

‘Plus, the company isn’t so bad.’ you say. ‘I know I made it clear I didn’t want this. But the time I've spent here has been very nice. Everyone is so kind, and I love the walks around the palace.’

‘What exactly are you saying, Y/N?’ says Nikolai, though the look on his face tells you he already knows. 

You take a deep breath. ‘I’m saying I’m willing to do this. I think I could be happy here. I’m willing to marry you. Even it it’s just for the sake of Ravka. I’d rather marry you than some old merchant back in Kerch.’ you say.

Nikolai smiles. ‘That’s good to hear.’ he says. ‘Was it my dashing smile or charming personality that made you decide to stay?’

‘Don’t get cocky now, Nikolai.’ you chuckle.

‘Sweetheart, have you actually met me? I’ll always be cocky.’ he says. 

You laugh and Nikolai reaches out to take one of your hands in his.

‘But on a more serious note, I really am glad you decided to stay. I didn’t lie when I said you’re nice company.’ he says. ‘And now I can finally give you this.’

He gets something out of his pocket and holds it in his closed fist.

‘Close your eyes.’ he says.

You slightly raise your eyebrows. ‘Really?’ you say. 

‘Really.’ says Nikolai, smirking at you.

You do as he says and close your eyes. You feel how Nikolai lifts your hand and slides something on your finger. You feel the weight of it on your finger and can tell what it is before Nikolai tells you to open your eyes.

A ring with a beautiful green emerald sits on your finger. Your lips part in surprise. He doesn’t even have to say it, you know this ring.

‘This is the Lantsov emerald.’ you say as you look at him.

‘It’s really just an emerald like any others.’ says Nikolai, looking at your hand which is still in his. ‘But that is what most people call it, yes.’

You admire the ring on your finger. ‘It’s beautiful.’ you say. When you look up, you see Nikolai looking at you with an odd expression on his face.

‘What is it?’ you say.

He simply smiles at you and shakes his head. ‘Nothing.’ he says. He gets up and offers you his arm again. ‘Shall we go back to the palace? It’s almost lunch time.’ 

You nod and get up as well but instead of laying your hand on his arm, you grab his hand and intertwine your fingers with his instead. The two of you walk back to the palace, and you try to ignore the way people look at your left hand, clearly eyeing the emerald ring. 

This would be yet another rumour that would spread impossibly fast. You had to write another letter to the Crow Club soon. You���d rather have your friends find out through you, than because of rumours. 

You’d been writing letters to the Crows since you decided you stay at the palace. You told them about your life at the palace, and in return they told you what was going on in Ketterdam. 

You loved receiving letters from them. They each took turns writing you, and all of them signed the letter. 

Once you had lunch, Nikolai got called away to another meeting, and you went to your room to write a letter to Ketterdam. As usual, you started off by asking them how they were doing, if any jobs went wrong, and a new prediction on how many card games Jesper had lost. 

You then wrote about finally accepting the fact you’d marry Nikolai. Despite the chances being low they could attend, you invited them to the wedding anyway. You told them you’d send them a formal invitation with the date as soon as you picked a date. 

And then the chaos started. Genya insisted on being in charge of the planning, and she also sketched you a few designs for your wedding dress. They were all equally stunning, and you couldn’t pick one. Eventually, Nikolai picked the one he thought would suit you best.

Zoya was in charge of putting together the guest list. When she asked you who you wanted to invite, you gave her the names of the Crows. She seemed a bit taken aback you’d invite them because after all, they were criminals. You hadn’t yet told her you’d been part of the Crows for many years as well.

When you looked at the list she was writing, you noticed your father’s name on it as well. He’d sent you many letters, which you ignored. You took the pen from Zoya’s hand and crossed his name off the list without a word. 

Time seemed to fly by at an alarmingly speed. Before you know it, you wake up on the morning of your wedding. Until this day, it seemed like a strange concept somehow. As if you couldn’t fully realise it. 

But when your eyes land on your wedding dress, you feel like for the first time, the realisation of what’s about to happen finally sinks in. You would marry Nikolai. You would take his name and you would become a queen. Of a country that’s not even your own.

A knock on your door catches you off guard and you call for them to come in. Genya enters, followed by a few servants. She’s beaming at you, clearly excited about today.

‘Are you ready?’ she says.

‘More like the most nervous I’ve ever been.’ you say.

Genya smiles at you as she sits down on the bed next to you. ‘I understand you’re nervous.’ she says. ‘But I promise you it’ll be alright. We’ll all be here right beside you. And it’s just one day.’

‘One day of ceremonies and traditions and then I’m a queen.’ you say, having an uneasy feeling in your stomach. 

‘Nikolai will be there by your side. And we will be there as well.’ says Genya. ‘Now let’s get you in that dress.’

She rises to her feet and motions for you to get up as well. You hesitate. 

‘Could you, um, go and get Nikolai?’ you ask her, avoiding her eyes. ‘I want to talk to him.’

‘Of course.’ she says and she immediately leaves the room. You get up and start to pace the room, ignoring the servants who are patiently waiting for you. It doesn’t take long for Genya to return with Nikolai. 

Nikolai smiles at you and asks the servants and Genya to leave the room, which they do. 

By the looks of it, Genya caught him while he was getting dressed. His hair is still messy and his shirt is hastily tucked into his pants. He walks up to you, looking at you.

‘What can I do for you?’ he says. 

‘I’m nervous.’ you say.

‘If it helps, I’m nervous too.’ he says.

‘But you always manage to hide it behind a curtain of flirty comments and confidence.’ you say. ‘I wish I could do that.’

‘Y/N, just because I always know what to say, doesn’t mean I don’t get nervous.’ says Nikolai.

He reaches out to take your hand in his and walks you back to your bed, where you sit down. 

‘Listen, it’s completely normal to be nervous. It’s a big day. A lot of important people are going to be present. But I want you to be okay with this, so do you still want to do this?’ he says.

You look at him and frown. ‘Yes, of course!’ you say. ‘We’re not going to cancel this whole thing because I’m nervous. I just hope I won’t throw up because of the nerves.’

Nikolai chuckles. ‘I’m sure you’ll be fine.’ he says. ‘If it makes you feel better, we could practice.’ 

You frown again. ‘Practice what? I know how weddings work, Nikolai.’ you say. 

‘It wasn’t the entire wedding I was talking about.’ says Nikolai. 

You look at him, waiting for him to continue. He looks at your lips instead. 

‘Oh.’ you say softly. That was what he meant. 

Nikolai slowly inches closer to you, leaning in. His eyes switch from your lips to your eyes, silently asking permission. You give the barest of nods and Nikolai closes the remaining space between you, softly pressing his lips against yours. 

You close your eyes and focus on the feeling of his lips on yours. All of the nerves seem to leave your body as you easy into him. When he pulls away, your faces are still close to each other.

‘Well if that’s what you call practicing, I wonder what the real thing is going to do to top that.’ you say.

Nikolai laughs at your words. ‘You’re getting better at your comebacks with every passing day, sweetheart.’ he says.

‘I learn from the best.’ you say, smiling at him.

‘Are you ready for this?’ says Nikolai.

‘I am now.’ you say with a hint of newfound confidence. 

Nikolai nods and gets up. ‘I’ll call Genya back.’ he says.

You get up as well and walk with him to the door. Before opening it, Nikolai takes your hand in his and presses a kiss to your knuckles. With a wink, he opens the door and steps out into the hallway.

Once Genya and the servants enter, she immediately drags you over and pushes you into a chair to do your hair.

‘You don’t seem nervous anymore.’ she says. 

‘I’m not.’ you say. ‘Nikola and I, uh, talked about it.’ you say, unable to stop your cheeks from turning red. 

Genya smiles knowingly at you. ‘I’m sure it was a good talk then.’ she says, emphasising the word “talk”. 

‘It was.’ you say, avoiding her eyes.

The smile never leaves Genya’s face as she finishes with doing your hair. The servants help you to get in the dress, and you finally look at yourself in the mirror. Genya had really outdone herself with the dress. It looks beautiful on you, as if it was meant to be.

You turn to look at her. ‘Thank you.’ you say. ‘Truly. It’s perfect.’ 

‘Don’t thank me. Nikolai is the one who picked the dress.’ she says. ‘Are you ready to go?’

You take a deep breath and nod. Genya links her arm through yours and you start walking toward the small chapel on the palace grounds. The guests had already arrived and were gathered inside. You can hear them talking and chatting excitedly even outside the chapel.

Genya hugs you tightly and disappears inside the chapel. After a few deep breaths to calm yourself again, you firmly plant your feet on the ground. No going back now. 

The doors to the chapel open and you watch as the guests all rise. A last deep breath, and you start walking. Were there really this many people on the list Zoya had put together?

You start to feel nervous again, but then you see Nikolai looking at you. He’s smiling brightly, and looks very handsome. You remember the feeling of his lips on yours, and find your confidence once more. 

You slowly walk down the aisle, smiling as well, and your eyes are fixed on Nikolai. When you finally make it to the front of the chapel, Nikolai smiles as you stop walking. 

‘Still nervous?’ he whispers softly, so only you can hear it. 

‘Not anymore, thanks to you.’ you whisper back. 

You take a quick look at the crowd. You only recognise the people that lived at the palace as well. Thankfully, you don’t see your father in the crowd. But your heart sinks as you don’t spot your Crows either. They didn’t come. 

You had invited them. Maybe they feared being captured if they risked coming to Os Alta? Whatever their reason was, you’re sure it was a good one. You’d send them a letter after the wedding, asking them if maybe an important job had come up. But still, it hurt a little they wouldn’t attend your wedding. 

The wedding itself seems to last minutes. You’re only focused on Nikolai. He holds your hand and you’re grateful he does. It helps keep you grounded. You had expected the wedding to be grand because after all, it is a royal one. But once you leave the chapel, hand in hand with Nikolai, you realise it turned out to be even better than you expected. 

The two of you are silent as you walk through the halls of the palace. You see the door to your room in the distance, but Nikolai walks right past it. When you raise your eyebrows in question at him, he points at the door to his room in the distance.

‘They’d expect us to share a room. It’d be a bit weird if we got married but sleep in separate rooms.’ he says. ‘Don’t worry, the bed is large enough to fit both of us without having to cuddle close. Not that I would mind if you did.’

You chuckle at his words as he opens the door to his room. You’re thankful to be away from all the guests. You appreciated that they all came to attend the wedding, but you got tired of listening to their congratulations over and over again. 

Once the door closes behind you, you immediately bend down to take off your heels. You watch as Nikolai shrugs off his suit jacket and runs a hand through his hair. 

‘That wasn’t so bad, was it?’ he says. 

‘It wasn’t bad at all.’ you say. 

Nikolai studies your face. ‘But there’s something on your mind.’ he says.

‘I just...’ your voice trails off as you try to find the best way to voice your thoughts. Nikolai takes your hand and pulls you down to sit on the bed with him. 

‘I thought they would come.’ you say softly. ‘I invited them, and I know I haven’t seen them in a while, but I thought they’d at least come to my wedding. I spent years with them.’ 

‘Maybe something else got in the way? Maybe something came up and they simply couldn’t make it?’ suggest Nikolai.

You shake your head. ‘Even if Kaz would plan a job, Jesper and Nina would burn down all of Ketterdam if a job prevented them from attending my wedding.’ you say. ‘I can’t think of a single reason why they wouldn’t come. I thought I meant more to them.’ 

‘What if you write them another letter? I’m sure if you just ask them, they’ll explain why they couldn’t be there.’ says Nikolai.

‘I was going to write them about it anyway.’ you say. ‘But first I want to change. As beautiful as this dress is, it’s incredibly heavy.’

‘I had a servant move some of your belongings here already.’ says Nikolai. ‘A part of the closet is now yours.’

‘Thank you.’ you say and you walk over to the closet, opening it. You pick one of your comfortable dresses and go to the bathroom to change. When you get back, you see Nikolai hasn’t changed yet. You didn't mind. He really looked good in a formal suit. 

You move to sit behind Nikolai’s desk to write a letter to Ketterdam. You try to sound polite, but a part of you wants to just write what you’re actually thinking. But the Crows mean the world to you, and you don’t want to hurt them or piss them off. 

Once you finish the letter, you seal it and hand it to a servant, telling them it’s urgent. 

When you get back to the room, you find Nikolai sitting at his desk, fidgeting with something in his hands. Curiously, you walk over to him. 

‘What are you doing?’ you say.

Nikolai looks up and holds out his hand to you. On his palm is a small boat, made out of a piece of rope. You carefully take it from his hand to examine it.

‘How did you learn how to make this?’ you as him.

He shrugs. ‘A lot of practicing.’ he says. 

You smile and hand the little boat back to him. ‘It’s nice.’ you say. ‘Could you teach me how to make one?’

Nikolai nods and pulls out a second chair for you. He spends the rest of the evening trying to teach you how to make a boat out of a piece of rope. While his fingers move smoothly and create the boats with ease, you struggle with it. After all, he had probably done it for many years, whereas you’re only trying it out for the first time. 

When you successfully finish your first boat, you decide to call it a night and go to sleep. Nikolai hadn’t been lying; the bed was big enough to fit the both of you comfortably without invading each other’s personal space. 

Your usual routines don’t change much. Except for the fact you know share a room and a bed. And you notice there are more lingering glances between the two of you. 

Like Nikolai had said, you’re expected to attend important meetings as well. You try to listen to it, but sometimes the meetings just aren’t interesting in your eyes. Luckily you always sit next to Nikolai, who is able to nudge your leg with his boot if he thinks you’re starting to zone out.

You have breakfast together every morning, expect for the mornings when Nikolai isn’t at the palace. You practice making boats out of rope, and you’re improving. Nikolai’s still turn out better than yours, but you’re getting there.

Every day, you ask if there’s mail for you. But somehow the Crows don’t send letters as frequently as they used to. And they had never given you a proper explanation as to why they didn’t attend your wedding. 

Most of the times when you’re lost in thought, you’re thinking about Ketterdam. You hadn’t been there in months, not since the ball. It’s as if the longer you stay at the palace, the more you miss Ketterdam. 

The city had always felt like home. And no matter how much you like spending time at the palace with Nikolai, you can’t help but to feel guilty for being away from Ketterdam for so long. You miss the city, and you miss your Crows.

Nikolai must have noticed something is bothering you, but you dodge his questions. You try to come up with excuses, but eventually, he pulls you aside and stands in front of the door, preventing you from slipping away.

‘Out with it.’ he says. ‘What is going on?’

You look at him, not sure what to say. 

‘Is it our marriage? Do you regret it? Is that why you’re avoiding talking with me?’ says Nikolai.

‘Of course not!’ you quickly say. ‘Nikolai, I do not regret our marriage. I happen like you a lot.’

‘Then what is it?’ says Nikolai. ‘You’re not yourself and I can tell something is bothering you. Let me help you.’

‘I don’t know where to start.’ you say softly, lowering your head and looking at your feet. It all seemed so childish now. 

‘I miss Ketterdam.’ you say softly. You feel tears burning behind your eyes. ‘I miss the harbour, and the tourists flooding the docks. I miss playing card games with Jesper, and going out with Nina. I miss talking with Inej and going over Kaz’ plans with him. I even miss reading to Wylan and trying to win a drinking contest from Matthias. I miss the Crow Club, and their laughter. I miss all of it.’ 

You see how Nikolai’s feet step closer to you and his hands cup your face, tilting it upward so you look at him. He brushes a tear away with his thumb.

‘It’s alright to miss Ketterdam.’ he says. ‘You left everything behind, I understand it if you miss it. It’s been your home for so long.’

‘But this is my home now.’ you say, your voice trembling slightly. ‘Here in Os Alta, with you. I shouldn’t long to go back to Ketterdam as much as I do.’

Nikolai smiles at you, but there’s a hint of sadness in his eyes. ‘I told you a long time ago I won’t let anyone else control the choices you make in life, sweetheart. If you want to go to Ketterdam, I think you should go.’ he says.

You stare up at him, letting his words sink in. ‘But I’m your wife. You’d let me go just like that?’ you say.

‘You are indeed my wife. But I’m not going to tell you how to live your life. If you think you’re happier in Ketterdam than you are at the palace, then you should go. Go and be happy.’ he says. 

‘But I'm happy with you too.’ you say. ‘I just miss my home, that’s all.’

He smiles again. ‘Then you should go home. This is not goodbye forever, you know.’ he says. 

‘Not goodbye forever.’ you say, repeating his words. 

You stand on your toes and lean up to kiss him. Nikolai pulls you closer and you wrap your arms around his waist in response. When you pull back, he rests his forehead against yours.

‘Go.’ he says softly. ‘Go to your Ketterdam, go to your Crows. I’m sure they’d love to see you again.’

You nod and pull yourself out of his embrace. Nikolai watches you as you quickly pack a bag with some essentials. You can’t bear to look at him again as you walk past him, out of the room.

You didn’t know Nikolai followed you from a distance, to see you off. As soon as you got on a horse and left the gates, he stands at the top of the stairs that lead to the entrance of the palace. 

He watches you as you become a smaller and smaller dot on the horizon. The triumvirate, who had seen the two of you leave, joins him on the steps, wondering what Nikolai is looking at.

‘Was that Y/N? says Zoya. ‘Where is she going?’

‘Back to Ketterdam.’ says Nikolai.

Zoya turns to Nikolai. ‘You let her go?’ she says. ‘Saints, Nikolai, why did you let her go?’

Nikolai doesn’t say anything and continues to look at the horizon. Genya is studying Nikolai’s face as he looks at you in the distance. Her lips part in surprise, but her eyes are sad.

‘Because he loves her.’ says Genya.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

[angstyx]

Satisfied

C!Wilbur Soot x Reader

Word Count: 1.1k words

Song: Satisfied [Hamilton]

Summary: You realize you’ve developed certain feelings for someone but so did your best friend

Bolded words are lyrics; [words with brackets around them are changed lyrics]

TW: don’t thinks there’s any?

Requested?: [Yes] [No]

Note: (F/n) - Father’s name (F/l/n) - Father’s last name (B/f/n) - Best friend’s name

Masterlist // Rules for Requesting

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“I remember that night, I just might regret that night for the rest of my days. I remember those [nervous] boys tripping over themselves to win our praise."

Niki raises an eyebrow at you as another boy walks towards you two, his friends pushing him towards you and cheering him on. You sigh, knowing how the confession will end.

"I remember that dreamlike candlelight like a dream that you can't quite place. But [Wilbur], I'll never forget the first time I saw your face. I have never been the same."

You were tired honestly. You never wanted to go to this party anyway but Niki was able to convince you to go from the fact that there was going to be food there. Your eyes scan the people who attended, most of them you knew and were friends with. However, one person caught your attention.

"Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame. And when you said "Hi", I forgot my dang name. Set my heart aflame, every part aflame. This is not a game."

You remember your friends talking about him before yet you couldn't pin down a name. Lost in your thoughts, you hear a "hi" behind you, making you jump.

"You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied. I'm sure I don't know what you mean, you forget yourself. You're like me, I'm never satisfied. Is that right? I've never been satisfied."

Turning around, you see the man who caught your attention, he had a friendly smile on his face along with a pair of light brown eyes.

"My name is (Y/n)."

You give him a smile as you introduce yourself, not wanting to give a bad first impression.

"[Wilbur Soot}"

He dramatically bows, making you giggle.

"Where's your family from? Unimportant, there's a million things I haven't done. But just you wait, just you wait"

Although he dodged your question, you quickly brushed it off, not wanting to seem like you were forcing him for information.

"So, so, so. So this is what it feels like to match wits with someone at your level. What the hell is the catch? It's the feeling of freedom, of seein' the light. It's Ben Franklin with a key and a kite. You see it, right?"

You two hit off right away. He seemed like a good guy you thought to yourself. Soon, you told him you had to check up on your best friend who left to get more food to make sure she wasn't doing anything stupid. You couldn’t wait to tell Niki about him.

"The conversation lasted two minutes. Maybe three minutes, everything we said in total agreement. It's a dream and it's a bit of a dance. A bit of a posture, it's a bit of a stance. He's a bit of a flirt, but I'ma give it a chance. I asked about his family, did you see his answer? His hands started fidgeting, he looked askance. He's penniless, he's flying by the seat of his pants."

As you made your way through crowds of people, saying hello to those you knew, you thought of your conversation with Wilbur. You two had similar interests which made you smile. Although he jokingly flirted with you with cheesy pickup lines throughout the conversation, you couldn’t help but wish that he wasn’t joking.

"Handsome, boy, does he know it. Peach fuzz, and he can't even grow it. I wanna take him far away from this place. Then I turn and see my [best friend’s] face and she is..."

You thought of his charming smile and how passionate he was when he talked about something he enjoyed. You then snap out of your thoughts when you finally spot Niki. Walking towards her, she seemed to be staring at something, or someone you think to yourself. You turn your head to see who Niki is staring at but your smirk disappears as you recognize the person.

“Helpless. And I know she is. Helpless. And her eyes are just. Helpless. And I realize. Three fundamental truths at the exact same time.”

You froze, not knowing how to react. You look back at Niki and then at the person she was staring at. Were you annoyed that you and Niki both liked the same person? You weren’t sure yet why were you heading towards Wilbur?

“Where are you taking me? I'm about to change your life. Then, by all means, lead the way.”

You half laugh at his response as you lead Wilbur towards Niki, putting on a smile as you reach him.

“Number one. I'm a girl in a world in which my only job is to marry rich. My father has no sons so I'm the one who has to social climb for one. So I'm the oldest and the wittiest and the gossip in [L’manburg] is insidious. And [Wilbur] is penniless. Ha! That doesn't mean I want him any less.”

You, (Y/n) (L/n), are the oldest daughter of the famous (F/n) (F/l/n), making you the main subject to gossip about. Even though you have feelings for Wilbur, you knew your father would never approve of the relationship. He already had many suitors who wanted to marry you yet you were never interested in any of them, much less wanted to marry one of them.

“[Niki], it's a pleasure to meet you. [Niki]? My [best friend].”

Niki has a wide smile on her face as she introduces herself. She turns to you and gives you a grateful smile, you give a smile back, one that doesn’t reach your eyes but Niki doesn’t notice.

“Number two. He's after me 'cause I'm a [L/n] sister, that elevates his status. I'd have to be naïve to set that aside. Maybe that is why I introduce him to [Niki], now that's his [girlfriend]. Nice going, [Y/n], he was right, you will never be satisfied.”

You were confused about your actions yet you knew why you did them. Dating Wilbur would’ve ruined your family’s name, make your father mad at you for dating a “low class” person, and have rumors spread around about you two and your family. Not wanting that to happen, you chose a different option, introducing Wilbur to Niki.

“[Im glad you’re enjoying the party]. If it takes [attending a party] for us to meet, it will have been worth it. I'll leave you to it.”

You left the two alone but as you were about to leave the party, you turned around one last time to see Niki laughing at a joke Wilbur told her. Your heart broke as you remember that you could’ve been the person in Niki’s spot íntead of her, could’ve been the person laughing at Wilbur’s joke, could’ve been the person who at the end of the night, kissed him. But instead, it was Niki. And your heart ached cause of it.

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