#i didn't even FEEL that strongly about him before today but now i'm going to imagine him day in and day out babyyyy

[hisfavegiri]

One Mistake - Aemond Targaryen x Sister!Reader.

Warning : typical inscet Targaryen, angst, mentions of an affair, harsh language, mention of blood, miscarriage.

You looked at your husband with the knife still at his neck, your tears flowing freely. You ignore the screams of your mother and sister asking you to stay away from Aemond, you are really angry now that Aemond has crossed the line.

"What are you waiting for? kill me now” you could see Aemond smile a little and it made your stomach turn, how could he be this calm when there was a knife at his neck?

"You think I can't do it, huh? You're wrong husband, I really can" once again you pressed the knife deep into his neck which you guaranteed might have hurt him because you could see the change in his expression a second ago.

You continued to stare at him sharply and angrily, but suddenly you dropped the knife in your hand. You may be angry and disappointed, but you still love him. he looked at you in shock and you ran out.

You ignored everyone's whispers and stares as you ran towards your chambers, you no longer cared what they said. As soon as you enter your chambers, you throw everything and scream.

You ignore the knock that comes from outside the door, you feel empty, you feel weak, your husband, the person you love has a child with someone else. A bastard, news that you can deny as strongly as possible, but it turns out that today the woman, Alys, brought their son and you saw him. A son that Aemond longed for was in her arms.

Suddenly your world was destroyed, the dreams you had created together with Aemond suddenly collapsed. You kept crying and screaming until your throat felt hoarse, You decided to stay in your chambers, you wouldn't come out to anyone. even your mother and your twin sister.

“My love? can you let me in?” You hear the soft voice of your mother who has been begging you to come in for three days, but you still hold on firmly and don't let her in.

you can hear her breath before she knocks again, “you should at least eat, I'm worried about your health love.” You remained silent, you hadn't even touched the food she brought you yesterday.

when night falls, your mother still continues to persuade you to open the door. This time she was accompanied by your sister, Haelena. “y/n.. please open the door, talk to me” but they noticed that your chambers door was no longer locked.

When they opened the door to your room, your mother screamed hysterically when she saw your current condition. You are lying on the floor with blood coming out from between your legs, there are also bloodstains on your mattress, there are visible tear marks on your cheeks and soft sobs are also coming out of your mouth.

"M- mother.. what happened?" that's all you can ask, Haelena ran out to call the Maester while your mother shouted for Aemond. You slowly closed your eyes making your mother panic even more and suddenly everything went dark.

You lie on the bed, your mother and sister always visit and even accompany you. It's been almost two days since you were unconscious after that incident, the incident where you lost your first child who you didn't even know was growing inside you.

When you find out that you have just had a miscarriage, you feel very useless, you feel broken, and feel empty. you blamed yourself until your mother told the Maester to give you medicine to help you sleep.

You growled as you felt extremely dizzy, you blinked your eyes and looked around you. until your eyes fell on Aemond who was standing near the fireplace, he looked at you with a blank but sharp gaze.

“What are you doing here? I don't want to meet you” you spat at him as he walk closer to your bed. You were shocked when you felt his big hands grip your cheeks roughly, you looked at him with tears in your eyes.

“because of you, I lost my child. because of your stupid and childish attitude, I lost my heir”

You looked at him in disbelief and anger, tears rolling down your cheeks now. You let go of his hand with all the strength you have, you're angry, you're furious. Not only does he blame you but he also doesn't realize that the reason they lost their child was because of him.

“my fault? you blame me?! Don't you think Aemond!? why am I like that? you cheated and got that whore pregnant! you have a child with someone else! and you can still blame this on me?! Are you crazy!?”

you screamed in his face, your breathing was very irregular because you were angry. your eyes are red from crying, you can't understand how he could blame you?

“What?! now you can't talk huh? what I said is a fact! You got her pregnant and hoped I would forgive you because I love you?!? I'm not that stupid! I'm not like Haelena when she found out Aegon had many children from his whore, I'M NOT LIKE HER!”

Aemond just remained silent and continued to stare at you, he had no intention of replying to you and you hated that. you turned your head around when you heard your mother's voice “what is this? y/n darling? why are you screaming? you must rest"

You looked at him and smiled a little, before finally taking the knife that was on the left side of Aemond's body. Aemond was shocked and you pushed his body, he fell unguarded.

"I'm sorry if I was never the best daughter for you mother, I will always love you" before your mother and Aemond could take the knife in your hand, you had already slashed your neck.

Aemond captured your body, you could hear your mother's voice calling all the guards to immediately bring in the Maester. Aemond looked at you in shock and fear, you smiled and gently stroked his cheek. "I hope you are happy Aem, sorry I couldn't be a good wife for you" then your eyes close and slowly your hand fell from his cheek.

“no, no, no! don't you dare close your eyes! y/n! Forgive me! y/n! please come back!” Aemond shouted while hugging your body which was starting to get cold, he cried and whispered sorry repeatedly in your ear. when the Maester came, he told you that you were gone. and that night was the night Aemond lost the only person who truly loved him, you.

tag list - @danytar @looneytun3s @hangmanscoming @yazzzmints @julessworldd @eratosmusings (italic means that i can’t tag you)

[photmath]

Wrong Impressions | Trent Alexander-Arnold (Part Two)

Pairing: Trent Alexander-Arnold x Reader

PART ONE written by the lovely @karotland, would strongly recommend reading that first.

Summary: Stoic, serious Trent walks around campus with murder on his face and is quite the no-nonsense class partner, frustrating you with his anti-social antics. Flustered and feeling guilty after he finds out about how you insulted him, you seek him out at a house party to apologize only to find a whole new Trent, leaving you with a lot of questions.

Word Count: 6.3k

Warnings: SMUT (18+), suggestive and implied, drinking, cursing

Note: Huge thank you to my girl Karo for letting me write a second part, ilysm and I hope I didn't disappoint (plz lie) <33. This was quite fun, can't believe I agreed to it but I'm so glad I did in the end! Kk love you bunches bye.

After finding Maddie back up on the balcony, you plopped down hard onto the seat next to her. She gave you an all-knowing look, lips tugging into a smirk.

“What?” you furrowed your eyebrows.

“You have a look,” her eyes narrowed as she tried to piece together the pieces. “Did you talk to Trent?”

“Yes,” you reply matter of factly, straightening up your posture. “And you were wrong, turns out we won’t be the 0.1% exception because he’s going to talk to me starting Monday.” You wiggled your hips in the chair as you gave her a satisfied smile. However, instead of congratulating you for not being a part of this ‘mathematical wonder,’ she gave you a displeased look.

“You do realize what today is?”

“Friday?”

“You won’t talk to Trent until Monday?” she raises her brows, “even though you’re in his house now? And he’s—” she peers over the balcony, “—right down there? Actually, they’re making their way over here.”

You rose to the balls of your feet immediately, looking down at the raucous boys and Angela from over the balcony. There you saw Trent once again laughing at something Jude said with his arm slung over him as if he’d escape from underneath him.

“How am I supposed to make out with Jude if you’re going to be clinging onto me all night?”

You roll your eyes, sitting back down in the chair with a huff, “It’s not like I’ll be alone. I can chat with the others.” You knew Maddie was only joking, having been split up from her numerous times at other parties.

“And Trent?”

“And Trent.”

“Good,” Maddie smiles, finally satisfied with your answer. But she isn’t done yet, her lips curling up into another grin, “I saw that earlier.”

“Saw what?”

“The look you gave him.”

You didn’t like how vague she was because you looked at Trent now a couple of times throughout the night, but you didn’t think your facial expressions were very obvious.

Her gum smacked loudly as she blew out a bubble, “Were you jealous?”

“No,” you crossed your arms.

“Oh come on, you see him talking to Angela and you go all quiet and suddenly say, ‘I’ll be back.’ And then off you go, stomping until you get to him.”

“I wasn’t stomping,” you laughed, rubbing the nervousness out of your arms. Why did Maddie’s words have this effect on you? Sure you were jealous, but you were jealous because Trent never once gave you that ounce of socialization.

Maddie shook her head once before dismissing the conversation, “Do you want to go inside? I’m getting a bit cold.”

You nod hastily, glad the attention is drawn away from you because god how loud was Maddie talking? Anne seemed to still be preoccupied with the others talking about another ex from her past, but noise traveled between floors it seems and you learned just how easily Trent could overhear conversations.

Sliding back inside, the purple lights and booming music greet you once again. Instinctively, you scan the kitchen and living room for a place for you to stand and chat with friends but your eyes connect with Trent’s as the front door opens. His smile is faint but quickly interrupted once Jude tumbles in from behind him and beelines towards the kitchen where a teammate of his is pouring shots.

Trent, on the other hand, takes his time. He holds the door open for the rest of them to come inside and once Angela comes in last, she perks her head up at him. Trent looks down at her quizzically and whispers something into her ear, making her laugh while he just wears a smirk. You feel the little green monster again, like a gear wanting to turn but a rock was wedged in the middle of it so now it’s grinding loudly in your ears.

You shake off the feeling, turning completely around and facing the direction of the kitchen. Jude downs the shot and then immediately hands one to Maddie—who somehow slipped out of your grip and found her way towards him. She throws her head back once she grabs it from him. You stay mingling around the kitchen, chatting with friends and meeting the ones you don’t recognize.

Feeling a hand brush up on your arm, you turn around to see Trent giving you a soft smile as he moves behind you. You return the friendly smile back, but you aren’t familiar with the feeling that washes over you once he continues to walk past you. Disappointment perhaps? It would be a lie to say that you hadn’t thought he was coming up to you to chat. So watching him now practically steal Jude away from Maddie, you’re left a tad bit annoyed.

Just as you’re about to make your way out of the kitchen and into the living room where a few others are dancing, a calloused but warm hand wraps around your wrist and stops you. He carries a bottle while staring at you, gesturing to Jude and Maddie, “Do you want to take a shot?”

You briefly glance back at the two, their heads nodding eagerly as they await your answer. Well, why not. You concede, “Just one.”

Trent smirks, lining up four glasses and then pouring what you assume is vodka although you can’t make out the title on the bottle. The four of you down the shot at the same time, you cringing at the burn that goes zipping down your throat. But then you and Maddie holler the moment you two recognize the song that starts playing through the speakers. She reaches out for your hand to dance with her in the small space between the counters and island of the kitchen.

You don’t notice Trent’s lingering gaze on you, or the smile that can’t leave his face as he watches you throw your hands up in the air as if you didn’t care who watched.

An hour into more chatting and dancing, you found yourself desperately searching for an open restroom because seriously who was taking so long in the guest restroom? Trent nurses a red cup to his lips as you find him, standing on your tippy toes to ask, “Is there another restroom that I can use?”

Trent glances at the restroom across the hall and then motions his head upstairs. He speaks but his words are inaudible from the speaker being right next to the both of you. You scrunch up your face and tilt your head and for a brief second, he seems amused. He leans down to yell into your ear, “Follow me!”

The brush of his lips against your ears sends you in a daze. Your feet stay glued on the floor until he passes you, holding out his hand for you to follow him. And his hand. It feels like it’s on fire as he intertwines your fingers tightly with his. He gives your hand a squeeze, maybe to make the grip tighter but you don’t know. He weaves you through the mass of sweating and dancing bodies until he gets to the stairs, you both walking up still hand in hand even though no one was in the way to separate you. The corridor is dark as he stops to open a bedroom door, finally releasing your hand gently as he turns on the light.

You recognize it immediately as his bedroom, the few photos that line his dresser and the same bookbag and football bag that he carried on the floor next to it. His green sheets are neatly tucked into his bed frame, his room overall very clean for a guy.

“You can just use mine,” he points to the door across his bedroom.

“Thank you so much, Trent,” you sigh. You quickly rush into the restroom and almost freeze again at how clean it is. Seriously there was no way his restroom was one wink cleaner than yours.

Once you finish, you expect the room to be empty but Trent is still there standing against the doorframe. A couple beads of sweat line his forehead as he swipes them, then looking up at you, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you smile. “I’m okay.”

“The weather,” he indulges, “getting cold, hmm?”

You break into a laugh, feeling a little nervous to have all his attention in his bedroom after using his restroom. You stand a couple of steps in front of him, peering up at him, “It is, didn’t expect the temperature to drop so suddenly in the past hour.”

“Bummer,” he mentions. “I wanted to sit on the balcony.”

Gosh, his eyes are really brown.

Trent bursts into an abrupt laugh, his head falling forward and dimples deep into his cheeks as he peers up at you. You feel a little giddy getting this sudden reaction at him, chuckling back at him despite your heart swelling at the way he’s looking at you.

“Thank you, darling, for noticing the color of my eyes.”

You slap your hand over your mouth, eyes wide as your cheeks rush with heat, “I said that out loud?”

“You did.”

“Oh my god—”

“It’s okay,” Trent muses, he picks up his head and leans it against the doorframe. Chewing the gum he suddenly has in his mouth, you’re memorized by the way his jaw clenches over and over again. Embarrassment is now mixing with another feeling as Trent continues to look at you through his hooded eyelids. Your cheeks feel a little flushed, and you knew your mouth was not going to want to stay closed tonight if he were to continue. Because gosh, the urge to impulsively speak never felt so strong until now.

You brush off whatever dust was on your shorts, deciding to be strong, “We should head back.”

He nods, turning off the light and closing the door. You make it downstairs faster than he does in order to lose yourself in the crowd. Not like Trent would miss you, he had his eyes on you the moment he walked back into his house.

You don’t even realize you’re searching for Maddie until your phone pings, Maddie’s message reads that they’re on the balcony getting some air with some friends. As you make your way to the balcony door, you internally groan knowing you’d be a little cold but there was still some alcohol running through you that could keep you somewhat warm.

You seem to be interrupting a conversation as you sit down on one of the couches, Anne screaming at you to agree, “Tell Jude I’m not lying.”

Jude’s arm is slung over Maddie as he laughs loudly, his head falling onto her shoulder. You chuckle, “She isn’t lying.”

You fall into conversation quickly among them, only glancing up once Trent walks out. He shuts the door behind him and sits down in the only empty space next to you, spreading his legs and arms out wide as he settles in.

“Get too hot in there for you?” you question.

He nods, “Music’s buzzin’ the ears.”

You don’t mean to stare at him, but the chain necklace he wears sitting against his already tight white tee leaves little to the imagination and makes you give him a double take. He looked so good underneath this one dim light out on the balcony. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it wasn’t, but the desire to be closer to him consumed you. However, you fought it, not wanting to embarrass yourself more.

Not realizing the conversation stirred onto you, you give the others a puzzled look as they turn towards you.

“Yeah, I don’t ever see you with a man,” Anne agrees. Your eyebrows furrow immediately, feeling breathless as you realize where the conversation is going. “We all thought Johnny would be endgame, you know?”

“Aww, do you remember when he planned out that ‘date-but-not-a-date’ for her and then he had to cancel because he got a flat tire?” Maddie asks, snickering. “It was so romantic. A picnic underneath the stars, did you guys ever reschedule?”

You wanted to dig yourself into a hole and never show face again. In front of Trent? This was quite possibly one of the most embarrassing moments of your life and it was astonishing at just how many moments from tonight made that list.

It takes you everything to not look at Trent’s reaction but he stays quiet. You find the courage to say, “We actually did.”

“You two were so cute,” Maddie gushes.

Jude jumps up from his seat, “I fuckin’ love this song!” The speaker from inside the house played a very dulled-out song but it was still a bit distinguishable. And suddenly you were thankful for the existence of Jude Bellingham, especially the loud, always-interrupting person he was when he was drunk. He starts dancing alone, his cup still in his hand as he looks towards you, “Come on, dance with me.”

You get up quickly, wanting the comments about Johnny to stop before they get any deeper. Your hand stays intertwined with one of Jude’s as he dances off-beat. He was too drunk to find it or even care about it, you going along with him. The girls cheer out loud for the both of you, and you don’t even want to look at Trent to figure out what he’s thinking about.

And you definitely don’t want to care about what Trent is thinking about when the door opens and Angela comes stumbling out. She dances with the two of you for a few seconds before plopping down beside Trent, in the very seat you were in just seconds before. You can’t help it, you glance in his direction and his eyes are already on yours, stoic but glimmering.

“He’s gonna kill me,” Jude whispers loudly in your ear. You’re almost sure that Trent heard him, but you can’t even think about it because Jude’s body stumbles forward. You try to grip onto his shoulder to steer him upright but his cup goes flying in between the two of you, spilling dramatically on both of your chests.

Gosh, how full was his cup to drench your entire blouse?

“Jude,” you groan.

“Sorry,” he mumbles sheepishly. He lets go and plops down on the couch, groaning as he holds his head in his hands. Looking down at your blue blouse, you notice just how thin the material of it is and quickly shield your exposed chest with your arm. The girls' eyes widen as they turn looking for something to cover you with. Before you can even think, Trent stands up and brushes your arm and back, motioning you towards the door.

“I—”

“I can give you my jacket.”

You nod, ignoring Angela’s sulking, relieved to get some kind of solution for your problem. Trent intertwines your hands together and leads you to his room—again. His thumb brushing against the back of your hand doesn’t go unnoticed by you, you even look down at where they conjoined. The swooning feeling in your chest comes back.

“This is so embarrassing,” you mutter as you finally reach his bedroom, your arm still splayed across your chest as he closes his door.

He chuckles, “Well Angela does exist so…”

“Trent!” you scold. He digs through his closet and pulls down a dark red hoodie. He slips off the hanger and hands it to you.

“I can um—dry your clothes if you’d like.”

You cringe, “That’s even more mortifying.”

Trent shrugs, “I can be discreet, darling. Plus, why are you suddenly shy after you were practically spitting out everything that was on your mind earlier?”

You snatch the hoodie from his hand, “Earlier my nipples weren’t peeking out of my shirt, Trent.”

He smirks, stifling a chuckle out of his mouth and nodding his head, “I guess that’s true.”

You smack his shoulder with his hoodie and go into his restroom. Only in there did you notice just how ridiculous you looked with the giant stain on your blouse that drenched you. You attempt to squirm out of the shirt but only then do you remember about the stupid few buttons on the back of the shirt. There was no way you were going to be able to twist the shirt without popping a few strands. You grumble, knowing you needed Trent’s help.

“Trent?” you call out softly. There’s some rustling on the other end of the door before he hums out a response. “Do you mind unbuttoning my shirt?”

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” There was no other way to hold the shirt up without it being on the verge of completely falling once those buttons unclasped. You held onto it for dear life as Trent opened the door hesitantly.

Trent’s fingers tentatively grab a hold of the first button. His fingers feel too big to maneuver such a tiny button out of its threaded loop. The lack of air in the restroom doesn’t seem to help either. He felt like he was choking, as if he was holding onto his breath as he focused on the task and not your bare back.

“Almost done?” you ask, trying to control your shuddering breath. You hoped your back wasn’t a replica of your arms that were now clad in goosebumps.

“I can’t even get the first button,” he spat. His voice was curt, almost agitated that it made you grow a little impatient because he had been trying for a while now. But his voice also seemed to resonate in your ear drums, reverberating back and forth because of how close he was to you. The warmth of the room felt palpable. “My fingers are too big.”

“Just focus harder,” you grit, getting hot.

“That’s what I’m doing.”

You let out a shaky sigh, it catches Trent’s attention and he tries to shudder it away but it only makes his hands shake even more. He rests his palms against your back and it makes you squirm, not expecting the feeling of his hands on your skin.

“Sorry,” he rasps, finally getting his hands to stop shaking and unclasp the first button. “Thank fuck.”

Your knees buckle at his words, him dropping one of his hands to settle onto your waist and stabilize you. Your hips bump into the front of his and you immediately regain balance. His fingertips burn into your waist as he asks, “Are you okay?”

“Think I’m still a little tipsy.”

Trent snorts, “I don’t think so.”

“How would you know?”

His hands go back to work on the second button, “Think you sobered up quite quickly once they mentioned Johnny. Or,” he stops talking and his fingers still, “once Angela walked out. Don’t think I didn’t see your face.”

“I was dancing with Jude, I didn’t even notice her.”

“Yeah?” he chuckles. He makes sure to snicker right into your ear, “Did you forget you danced with her too?”

The last button unclasps and you immediately feel it loosen against your back. You turn around, still clutching onto your shirt, as he wears a lousy smirk. He had caught you in a lie but you weren’t going to let him win just yet.

“Like I said, I’m still a little tipsy I can’t remember.”

Trent’s one-sided grin only grows and his eyes darken from amusement to something else that you can’t quite read. You weren’t familiar with the different emotions of him, only certified in his one stoic facial expression but this was an entirely different person you were meeting tonight. One that you definitely enjoyed. This was the most you ever heard him talk.

His head falls down, glancing at the mirror and then back at you, “Alright then, darling, whatever you say.”

“You’re such an ass,” you whine, pushing him out the door with one hand.

He laughs, “Sober!”

You roll your eyes, wishing the last bit of alcohol gave you the confidence to withstand his gaze. Usually you could banter with him any way you wanted but for whatever reason you felt like you were going to say the wrong thing by accident tonight. You had already slipped up about his eyes and god you hated how you could feel that you were going to say something more. Something potentially less innocent than the color of his eyes. He had a tendency to make you not want to bite your tongue in general.

His hoodie smells a lot like him as you pull it over him, earthy and piney. You bunch your shirt in your hands, and glance at yourself one more time in the mirror before you open the door. Trent leans against his dresser, slipping his phone back into his pocket once you step out.

“Ready to go back out?”

You bite onto your cheek. You weren’t. You seriously didn’t like the way Angela was riling you up for whatever reason. Trent had already said they weren’t dating, shut that idea down quickly but it…gnawed at you? You weren’t even sure what you were feeling.

“No way,” he whispers.

You look up at him and he has an open-mouthed smile on him, was he shocked? But he also looked like he just figured out how to do a hard math problem. Your eyebrows pinch, “What?”

“I didn’t think it was true, but—I heard you talking to Maddie on the balcony when she asked if you were jealous. You lied to her, didn’t you?” There’s a smile on his face that’s he trying to control, as if he were going to burst into a shit-eating grin so wide but he was holding himself back.

Immediately you shake your head, denying, “What?”

And there it is, the laugh. His head falls back too. “Bah, c’mon, don’t try to lie to me now.”

“I’m not jealous.”

“You shouldn’t be,” he said. His voice drops down an octave, “There’s nothing going on between Angela and I.”

“Why would I be jealous of you and her?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know either.”

Seriously, how could he just hear every damn whisper? There was no way you were going to dig yourself out of this. And quite frankly you were a little fed up, from Jude spilling his drink on you to Trent taking forever in the restroom to undo your shirt. Your patience had run thin.

You groan, rolling your eyes as you cross your arms, “It was the alcohol.”

He chuckles, stepping towards you, “You usually yap, alcohol or none.”

You roll your eyes again, “I was jealous because of how easy it was for you to talk to everyone except me.”

He tilts his head, taking another step towards you until you have to tilt your head to look up at him. His smile is sincere, “We’re talking now. Even if you’re lying just a little, I’ll take it.” He holds up his first two fingers with a small gap between them.

The giggle from your throat can’t help but to escape, despite it being hoarse. His eyebrows barely furrow as he notices it but doesn’t comment on it. Thank goodness.

“Besides,” he continues, “it’s much easier for you to hear me in here than it was out there.” His hands wrap around the hood, pulling it over your head and squeezing the strands together so it tightens around you.

“Trent!” you yell, you only make out the bottom half of his body and it suddenly comes a lot closer. He’s laughing as he nudges you against the wall, but backing off so you don’t feel trapped.

You pull off the hoodie once you find your balance, “What was that for?”

He shrugs so nonchalantly that you push him back. He stumbles onto his bed with the widest smile you had ever seen from him. It looked so unnatural as it was aimed towards you that it made your cheeks feel more incredibly hot.

“Wow,” you breathe out. His eyebrows shoot up, amusing you once again. But those doe eyes catch your attention. They were so expressive without effort and it damn near put you in a trance. A trance that would’ve led you straight into his lap had you two not felt heavy steps coming upstairs.

Trent looked immediately to the door and noticed it wasn’t locked, leaping off his bed and in a few long strides he was locking it. He then turned off the overhead light and used his phone’s screen as a source of light. You hadn’t realized his blinds were open until the moon casts its shadow down into the room.

“What the fuck?” You let out the breath you held after watching him run. There’s a sudden knock on the door and the handle jiggles but it doesn’t bulge.

“Trent, I have to piss man,” Jude pleads. Trent presses his finger to his lips as he glances towards you. You would be lying if this didn’t somehow send adrenaline through you. He was seriously hiding in his bedroom from Jude of all people.

There’s another frantic knock, and then the shoving of the door. Jude’s groan sounds so loud, “You fuckin’ twat.” It’s the last thing he says before he walks down the corridor and Trent chuckles quietly.

“You’re cruel,” you tease, walking towards him. He still hadn’t turned the light back on.

“All the other rooms are open,” he shrugs. “He’ll be fine.” He opts for turning on a lamp, turning it on the lowest setting and it’s so dim that it might as well be off.

As he walks towards his bed, he stops, turning back to you. His eyes narrow slightly as you put your hands on your hips, “What now?”

“You said Johnny and you were just close?” he starts. Of course. “But the picnic?”

“Friends can’t just go on picnics?”

He chuckles, “Did he know that?”

“Well he does now. There’s nothing between us. I didn’t like him like that, the girls just always teased us.”

Trent nods, satisfied with your answer, “Okay, enough about him.”

“Please,” you reply meekly.

“You’re the one who usually talks, maybe you should yap more.”

“Quit saying I yap.”

“Yapping about the weather, about class, about—”

You walk over to his bed and throw a pillow at his head. He goes splatting onto his side, you not realizing just how hard you actually held onto the pillow once you swung. Oops…

But he’s up in an instant, on his feet and pushing you back until you hit your back against the wall. A small ‘oomph’ slips out of your mouth that he lets go of your wrists, looking down at your face with a flash of worry, “Sorry—”

“Asshole.” But god were you so turned on with his chest being merely inches away.

And his face is back, “Oh, you’re okay.”

His watchful gaze looking down at you makes you swallow the slick remark down your throat. Wow. Where were his hands at? And just how far were you from him? It was either his eyes or that stupid useless lamp that made you lose sense of distance.

“Are you…okay?” he rasps. You watch as his throat bobbles as he rakes over your face, making you fight every urge to look away from his hard gaze.

“I’m fine,” you manage. His lip twitches as he glances down, it’s only then did you realize that his hand managed to go around your waist. You didn’t know how you didn’t feel it, especially because it went entirely underneath the hoodie. His bare hand was touching the skin of your back and your throat bubbled as he took his time slipping it out. Do not make a sound. Do not make a sound.

You didn’t have to make a sound to realize his movement awakened every fiber in your body. The hoodie suddenly felt ridiculously hot, like walking outside in the middle of summer with it on. If you weren’t leaning on the wall, you would’ve lost your balance right then and there.

And just as Trent’s fingertips are about to let go of you entirely, he lets them stray. In reality, they only touched such a small space of you but they felt suffocating, as if they were engulfing the entirety of you. Exploring you without hesitancy.

For whatever reason, whatever luck that wasn’t on your side, his lamp began to flicker until it went out completely. And just like that, a sliver of the moon’s light shined on his face.

“Did that—”

“It does that,” he mutters. “It’s old, have to give it a good tap.”

“Oh.”

Words escaped you as you felt him lean a little more into you. The sudden brain that never stopped thinking of a witty response was quiet, only thinking about how close he was. How his eyes seemed so tender. The softest they had ever been before. And gah! Even when there’s so little light his eyes look so brown.

“You had on a nice shirt.”

“Everyone saw my nipples,” you say, wanting to slap your hand over your mouth. Why did you choose to say those words at this very time?

He laughs, it’s gruff and it only goes in one ear, giving you goosebumps on that side. “Well, not everyone.” His head dips closer to your ear. “Only the girls saw them.”

“Then how did you know,” you look up at him as he reels his head back slowly. His fingertips slide to the back of your hip, finally putting his palm down and you stifle what might be a moan. Seriously, you need to get yourself together.

“It wasn’t rocket science to put two and two together, darling.”

And you couldn’t do it anymore. There were so many words and so little touch shared in the time that you’ve been pressed against the wall. You guide his free hand to your waist and settle yours around his neck. There is a brief look of shock in his eyes but it goes away as quickly as it appeared.

His breath hitches as your fingertips scratches the nape of his skin. His eyes flicker down to your lips and if he wasn’t going to make the first move, then hell you might as well go for it. Your hand slips down to his chest, balling up the white fabric and pulling him down. His lips crash onto yours feverishly, his breathing heavy as he pulls you closer to him.

You aren’t expecting to feel him through his jeans when your hips clash, so the gasp that leaves your mouth is unrestrained. God. Your hands are slipping down his chest and finding the hem of his pants but it’s so dark, the moon only shining on his face. His lips graze your neck as he squirms once you press your palm against him. His teeth sink into the skin near your shoulder as you pull on the button of his pants.

Before you could unbutton them, he pries your hands off of them and raises them over your head, pinning them down with just one hand. Did he have to look so hot doing that? You couldn’t help the whimper that left your mouth, him smirking as he pressed his hips further into you. He was so hard that you wondered if he was in pain, and how quickly you could slither out of his grasp and relieve him.

But he pulls back, and the frown you make is by instinct. He brings down your hands slowly to your side and you frown even harder, “Why did you stop?”

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m not drunk.”

“Walk in a straight line then,” he jokes, tugging the hem of the hoodie towards him.

You roll your eyes, a grin overtaking your scowl as you let him pull you towards the bed. You were so turned on it was ridiculous. He sits down on the bed and you can make out his head turning in your direction, waiting for you to join him.

“No more teasing,” you warn, unbuttoning your pants and shrugging them off. “Just sex.” You don’t even wait for him to pull you down, you settle in his lap as if you had been in this position many times before with him.

His eyebrows rise at your bright pink underwear, but he’s more amused with your words, “What’s the magic word?”

“Trent,” you grip onto his shoulders tightly as he laughs. His hands settle on your hips, teasing the area of where your panties met the hoodie. “Please.”

“Okay.”

The smile that raises his cheeks is so charming that you can’t help but to gently pinch them. But you kiss him as if he’s withholding coffee from you. So rabidly that he had to fall back onto stretched elbows to keep himself up. He dragged himself up to the center of the bed and pulled you with him.

The two of you groaned at the friction of your hips once you sat back down on him. His hands slipped underneath your—his—hoodie and immediately settled on your hard nipples. They had been bruising against the fabric of the hoodie, so the moan you let out was pure relief as he squeezed them. Your hand already wrapped around the length of him through his boxers.

“Fuck,” he grunts, hiking up his hips and shimming out of his pants. His grip is tight as he then peels off the hoodie, leaving you exposed but it doesn’t take long for him to find your breasts with his mouth and hand. And of course his other hand wandered and teased the hem of your underwear. His knuckles brushed against your clit through the fabric that you didn’t have any shame sinking further onto them and rocking your hips.

Once he flipped the two of you over, his touch was careful but firm. Very attentive to the sweet sounds of your arousal and the whimpers of every touch. He wasn’t shy about being vocal either. Especially when it came to his ragged breathing, the feeling of his breath creating goosebumps on your skin in its wake.

The feeling of his cold chain sliding down your body put you into a frenzy that you almost felt bad for how hard your thighs clamped around his head but he didn’t seem to mind.

And that chain continued to bounce against you with each thrust and that alone had you wrapping your legs around him and pulling him down to kiss you. You could feel his lips turning into a sloppy smile that it made you laugh as you pecked his cheek afterward.

Even if his face radiated with innocence, his hands sliding down to give you one more tease sure didn’t. You squirmed once his thumb landed on your clit and sure as hell wasn’t ready for the sudden pinch of your nipple with his other.

“Oh my god—” his lips slid down your jaw and neck, sucking on the supple skin. You didn’t even care if he marked you, your attention so far gone because between the feeling of him so deep inside you, his thumb circling your clit, fingers alternating between a pinch and a ghost of a touch around your nipple, and his warm mouth and breath on your neck, you weren’t even sure what to focus on. It all felt so unreal.

And yet somehow he held you as you rode out the numbing feeling taking over you. Vision clouding as you felt him slip out of you as he tenderly massaged your breasts and then let out a small gasp as he came as well. He nuzzled his lips onto your cheek and neck, breath heavy as he collapsed beside you. He pulled you closer to him and then ran his hands over your thighs in a soothing manner.

God. You almost wanted to cry at how euphoric you felt but there was no way you were going to let go of that much pride in one night.

His eyes flutter open as you already look back at him. He lets out a shy laugh, “Didn’t expect you to be so quiet.”

“I was shocked the entire time.”

“In a good or bad way?”

“In the best way.”

He beams, pulling you closer to him and kissing your forehead, “Seeing you in my fucking hoodie. I couldn’t control myself anymore.”

“I was waiting for you to rip it off of me,” you sassed.

“I knew I should’ve bent you over in the restroom and fucked the brat out of you.”

“I’d love to see you try,” you encouraged and he picked his head up, surely offended, but you were on the tallest cloud that you didn’t care. “Plus, your hands were shaking so much that I don’t think—”

Trent shut you up with his lips. His hands taut around your neck as he shushes you in the way he should’ve done hours ago.

--

Come Monday morning, you were starting to grow restless staring at the empty seat next to you. Trent had a minute to spare before class started and he should’ve been here a minute ago. The two of you texted over the weekend, nothing spectacular but nothing too boring. You hoped you hadn’t bothered him with too many words and scared him away. Maybe your watch was a minute behind—

A white cup suddenly lands harshly in front of you, a strong hand wrapped around it until they let go. The smell of coffee seeps out of it so strongly that it itches your brain. You look over to see Trent, a frantic but bashful smile on his face as he sits down, never taking his eyes off of you. He has his own cup as well.

“That rain, such a sudden downpour,” he chimes. “So heavy that I almost ran late.”

You can’t help that gleeful smile that stretches all the muscles of your cheeks that you don’t know existed; you must’ve look crazy, you are sure. Every facial muscle hurt in that second but you don’t care as you wrap your arms around him. He laughs as he pecks your cheek and then gives your waist a squeeze.

It was sunny outside. No chance of rain or even a cloud.

---

taglist: @lunamelona @akg2000 @0rangesuga @ell-alexanderarnold @emunds

[tmblrcolouredpaper]

Needed Cuddles

You feel uncomfortable on the full bus at night, but your friends are there to take care of you. They need you just as much though.

Lee Minho/ Lee Know; Hwang Hyunjin, reader

Late night conversation and comfort, walking together, care and comfort, suggestive jokes, friendship

wc: 1716

It wasn't the first time you had to be on the train during the late hours of the day. Normally, the darkness didn't scare you, but it was a completely different story when you were surrounded by masses of people that you didn't know, that you haven't even seen before. On top of that, today's train got cancelled and you had to take the substituting bus. Therefore, the route was another factor of unfamiliarity.

After contemplating for good 20 minutes wether you should call Minho or not, you gave in, because your silent tears that made their way down your cheeks were a significant indicator for highly needed comfort.

'Hello?', sounded from your phone, followed by some audible steps and a final flop onto the sofa, you assumed.

'Hi', you whispered, because on one hand you didn't want to disturb the other passengers, and on the other hand you didn't trust your voice to not immediately tremble.

'You okay?', Minho asked without hesitation, his voice worried.

'Yes, it's just...', you trailed off and tried to find words that didn't feel totally silly.

You're an adult. For god's sake, you should be able to get home from work without crying.

to your friend about it.

'Breathe', Minho instructed, well aware of your habit to unvoluntarily hold your breath.

You felt better right away. Breathing helped, but so did hearing his voice.

'I'm on the bus', you managed to tell him and he hummed, waiting for you to continue.

'It's full here and dark. I got a seat, but I can't see much. It's dark', you stammered and fixated some lights in the distance.

'How long do you have to be on the bus?', he asked and you checked the app.

'One hour', you mumbled and hated everything about the situation you found yourself in.

'Keep breathing. Can you count the number of lights you see in the next five minutes? Say the numbers out loud to me, yeah? Can you do that?', he requested and you nodded, but then you remembered he wasn't here and couldn't see you, so you quickly added a hushed 'yes'.

'What's you favorite colour?', he suddenly asked and you responded, 'Red?', in confusion.

There were some street lanterns, so you counted, 'one , two, three, four, five'.

Minho didn't give you a break and asked:'Ass or tits?'

You chuckled, because you were too shy to burst out in laughter. You were in public after all.

'What?', you asked, now ultimately confused.

'Do you. Prefer. My ass. Or my tits', he repeated slower and overly pronounced.

'Hmmm. That's a tough question', you announced and added the numbers six to eleven on the lights list.

'Come on. Feel free to sexualize me. You won't get the chance too often', he chuckled and you wished you were at home already. His laugh sounded even prettier in person.

'That's a very limited amount of options. I can't choose!', you exclaimed and focoused on your breath a bit more again.

'Okayy. Then, do you prefer cuddling with Hyunjin or me?', he switched the question.

'Hey. Don't do that', you whispered and really strongly wished you were home.

'Lights?', he asked and you answered by saying 'thirteen'.

'He doesn't have a chance against me, right?', he added and you could vividly imagine his grin.

'Actually, I'd rank him higher than you', you joked.

'Ouch. Well, okay. No cuddles for you once you're home. And I was looking forward to holding and consoling you the whole night, but, oh well...', he sighed dramatically.

'I'll just go to Hyunjin's room then', you provoked further.

'You didn't call Hyunjin but me tho', he said seriously and you have to give him that point, but only because you didn't want to disturb Hyunjin in his evening's art routine.

'You also can't choose between his ass and tits, because they are basically nonexistent, making me a better cuddling partner. Choose wisely, dear idiot' Minho added and his time was funnily philosophical, as if he would spread holy wisdom.

All he achieved was making you smile at the ridiculousy. You felt lighter than before the call and added two more lights to the list.

Fifteen was the final number after the given time frame of five minutes and after another check-in about your current state and the assurance that you felt better, Minho started talking about his day, telling you many details down to the fur pattern of every cat he saw in the streets.

The bus stopped at the final destination and you got off happily. The people around you spread into various directions and when you finally got a clear view onto your path that leads home, you were paralysed in surprise due to the unexpected visitor that was smiling at you.

'Minho! When did you go to Hyunjin?', you almost screamed into the phone and were only met with Minho's evil laughter.

'There is this thing called texting and it works while being on a phone call, you dumbass', he explained and hung up with no further comment.

Hyunjin stepped in front of you, snatched your bag away and pulled you into a hug. His hair was pushed back with a hairband and there was some dried paint on his neck and when he pulled away, you found some more spots on his hands.

'I didn't want to disturb you', you mumbled, guilt rising, because he was outside at night instead of having a cozy painting session.

'You didn't. It was Minho', he responded and giggled, pulling your bag over his shoulder.

'Sorry', you apologised anyway and nodded into the direction you had to walk to.

Hyunjin just nodded, took your hand and tucked you closer next to him while you two started walking.

You were freezing by the time you finally entered the appartment complex and you were sure it was rather due to your tiredness than the cold evening air. Hyunjin knocked on the apartment's door and Minho opened, looking bored, almost annoyed.

'Good evening', Hyunjin chirped and put on an extra cheerful and energized character to annoy Minho who was clearly tired and impatient at this late hour.

'Go lick some more paint', Minho mumbled, but contrary to his words, patted Hyunjin's shoulder in a friendly manner and smiled at him, nonverbally thanking him.

Hyunjin just shook his head and gave you a quick goodbye hug and handed you your bag.

Stepping into the dorm was the best feeling you could have imagined this evening. You wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, but actually, you were to tired to give into even one of those impulses.

Minho trailed off into the kitchen and you went to take a shower. There was a cup of ramen and a glass of water on the living room table once you returned, originally because you wanted to go to bed. However, Minho called you and told you to eat.

'You need energy after today's stress', he reminded you and watched you until you finished everything he put in front of you. He vanished and returned with freshly cut peaches once and another time with some chocolate, because according to him, chocolote was necessary to finish an overwhelming day. Of course, you didn't dare to disagree.

With freshly brushed teeth you finally made your way to your room and layed down, quickly texting Minho and Hyunjin messages to express how thankful you were for them being there for you this evening and then in no time sleep took over your tired mind and body.

You woke up at the sound of someone knocking on your door and when it cracked open slightly, the light from the living room entered.

'What?', you groaned and got Minho's chuckle as an response.

'Did I wake you?', he then proceeded to ask and you told him that, yes, this was the fucking case.

'Just wanted to say that you did well today', he mumbled and you, still half asleep and barely registering his words, nodded.

'Okay. What do you want?', you grumbled, honestly pissed that he woke you up.

'I promised you cuddles', he said cutely and you hated it, but laughed after all.

'You big baby. Be honest, do you want some cuddles?', you asked, fully aware of his enjoyment of regular cuddle sessions that he always claimed to just be kinda okay with and is mainly doing them, because you or the others needed them.

'Nah, I don't. Just thought you wanted', he huffed and was about to close the door again, but you hurried out of bed and held onto the door. The blanked was halfly wrapped around one leg, luckily didn't cause you to stumble, and you noticed that you were still holding onto one plushie. You laughed at this observation and Minho eyed you up and down and laughed as well.

'You're embaressing', he joked and patted the plushie in your arm.

'So are you. Just for the record, you would be trapped in my arms just like this little furball here, when I'd have to get up while we cuddled', you said, nodding down.

Minho pulled the plushie away from you.

'You'd let someone pull me away that easily too?', he questioned.

'If it was someone I trust, then yes', you explained and saw Minho's eyes widen.

Absently, he handed you back plushie.

'Can we now cuddle? I'm too tired to make you ask for them yourself', you whined and went back to bed.

Minho closed the door and followed you. He freed you from the blanket trap and tucked you in, before he pulled you into his frame, holding you close.

'You did well today too, Minho', you mumbled against him and buched his bangs out of his eyes.

'Thanks. Are you okay now?'.

He pulled the blanket over himself and you pushed the pillow further under his head. He dropped into it with a content sigh.

'I'm okay. I'm so tired, I'll be gone in two seconds', you announced and Minho hummed in recognition.

'I needed those cuddles today as well', he whispered, but you were already back asleep, the plushie squeezed between you two and one arm thrown around Minho's waist, pinning him comfortably close to you for the next few hours.

[yuseirra]

Kamiki's feelings towards Ai- an analysis

Chapter 154 was so interesting and it happened just as I imagined the way it would, actually. What I can't fully predict is what'd happen AFTER this- there are so many things left undisclosed and yet to be uncovered, too. But it's allowed me to think about a lot of things.

Today I wrote up an analysis of how I feel Kamiki's character could be and his feelings towards Ai.

I'd speculated on Ai's relationship with him before this chapter was out. I was pretty much on the right track in a general sense (and another analysis on Aqua and how he feels about kana, too.)This seems like the best time to break out how I think about how kamiki would have felt about her from his end- before it's actually going to be told.

(This full post was originally written in a different language and I asked chatgpt-4 to help translate it in bulk because it got so long..! wow, and it did a really great job. I guess I'll use THAT to translate now)

The last episode made it clear how the protagonist's parents ended up the way they did and the deep emotions they had for each other, so I have quite a bit to say about that. Psychology is an area of interest for me. To put it extremely, it's everything in my creations (though it would be embarrassing if I missed the mark after saying this) to the point where I'd go, 'if I can't even do this, I'd wonder what I'm good at...' In other words, it's the area where I'm most confident... I enjoy watching, analyzing, and understanding things. It's a topic I can talk about enthusiastically and endlessly if the opportunity arises.

As I mentioned in a previous post, understanding others' emotions, whether in reality or fiction, is a tricky part to pin down definitively, so I'm always hesitant to speak rashly about it. I keep thinking, "Maybe it's this?" but because I really dislike being wrong, I don't speak strongly about it. And I think how one "feels" something is too personal a realm.

Therefore, when a story confirms things through dialogue, flashbacks, or actions, I get very excited. It’s like, "Now I can talk about it!" That's how I brought this post forth today.

Getting to the point, this manga is very well-written when it comes to emotional aspects (the emotions and the persuasiveness of the situations that evoke those emotions) of well-crafted characters. In my opinion, characters like Ai, Aqua, and Kana are quite well-developed, and other characters, even in their personal episodes or specific points, have at least a desirable level of persuasiveness as needed. In most cases, at least. Some scenes left me a lil confused time to time still, but at most, the scenes written with a clear perspective often show and evoke strong emotions, which I consider a strength of this manga. Considering the author's previous work was a romance manga... I guess someone who comes from writing romance manga is built differently! (I haven't watched Kaguya-sama though).

As for Kamiki, his past was as I expected. Looking at the small hints that were sprinkled earlier, I didn't think it would turn out much different from what was actually depicted. Realistically, a child who became the father of twins at the age of 15 (a highly unusual age by modern standards) couldn't have been so calculating and meticulous in using Ai or intentionally manipulating them to have their children, no matter how crazy he was, even if considering the manga’s verisimilitude. Ai is a smart person. She might not have received a proper education compared to the average person due to her inability to fit into the social safety net, but I think her innate intelligence was quite good... For Ai, Kamiki was someone who could maintain a good relationship with her, with her being the older out of the two, even. Being the cautious and careful person she is. Ai's would have coolly cut ties and walked away rather than being used if there was a need to. So I always thought their relationship would have been genuine at some point, at least.

And looking at his past, as expected... (even if it’s a manga, the whole situation he was in was too dreadful...) looking at his personality, he was a gentle and pure child who was tossed around a lot when he was younger. If an 11-year-old child had a relationship with an adult, the adult is absolutely not a proper human being. There’s no room for another interpretation. Even if the child said "it was okay", there’s no room for leniency. It’s nonsense. Kamiki had been sexually abused from a very young age, so it was almost impossible for him to form a proper concept about it, and he was at a resignation to the things that were happening to him... Ai was the one person who got close to him and wanted to help him escape from that situation. But since Ai was only a middle schooler, she realistically had no power to do anything drastic... Both lacked proper guardians and had a deficiency in love, so when they were fully exposed to an environment where outward attractiveness was heavily utilized, they had no means to protect themselves. The best they could do was create a mask to show others and keep convincing themselves that they were okay with it... They were drawn to each other because they shared that similarity and understood that part of each other. I liked that these two were set as peers around the same aga because, especially for young children, age difference has a significant impact on social experience and individual standing. It's better to have a similar age if they are to have an equal relationship. Adults should be with adults, and children should be with children. Their worlds are different, and even a completely insignificant adult can easily exploit and manipulate a child. I believe that relationships should be with people who share a similar perspective and have similar emotional resources to offer each other.

The scene where Ai goes to Airi and calls her just a sex offender might be exaggerated, but if we say exaggerated... it means there was some face-to-face interaction and that Ai helped Kamiki separate from Airi. Ai probably wanted to do what was depicted in the movie. In reality, you have to deal with the aftermath, and it probably didn’t go smoothly like the adult just backing off or listening to a teenager. However, Ai’s actions had some effect in helping Kamiki get away from Airi to some extent, leading to a period where they officially dated. During this time, Kamiki must have truly loved and been happy with Ai. The adults around didn’t know about the situation, and they never helped Kamiki. The one who listened, understood, and shared the troubling and dreadful situation that Kamiki had grown accustomed to for years was Ai.

For Kamiki, there was only Ai.

When Airi blackmailed and gaslit him into despair, Kamiki’s thoughts were to turn to Ai for help because there was only Ai for him. Ai was indeed everything to Kamiki, supporting and pulling him out of tough situations. Ai was like a light in his life. They already had mutual affection, so it wasn’t surprising.

Meeting someone who truly understands, accepts, and loves you is extremely precious and significant. The statement that he sincerely loved Ai is true because there was truly no one else in the world for him to love. He led a very isolated life.

I won't delve deeply into Ai’s analysis here since I covered that last time. But the statement that Ai wanted to shoulder everything together and share a future with kamiki was absoultely genuine. Then why did he leave and say such heartless things that would break Kamiki’s heart?

That'd be because having a child meant more responsibility for Kamiki, and Ai thought Kamiki couldn't handle it. So Ai decided to leave to lessen Kamiki’s burden, thinking that would be less painful for him than staying together. Ai probably felt that no matter what, Kamiki wouldn't break up with her unless she said something really harsh. Kamiki's mindset at that time, as shown in his thoughts, was that it was just the two of them against the world, and they could bear any pressure together. That feeling is understandable. So pitiable, really. Ai, however, also wasn’t someone who was very mentally healthy. I'm sure she wanted to help him, but her ways of "helping" wasn't and couldn't be so ideal because she too was only a child. Additionally, I feel Ai was quite conscious of being a year older, wanting to take care of the struggling Kamiki (Ai seems to have a maternal instinct despite not receiving such care herself). She wanted to share Kamiki’s burdens but couldn't share her own dark and difficult parts because she felt Kamiki was too fragile. So, to unburden Kamiki, she left with very harsh and definitive words, thinking Kamiki would be better off without her and their children. Hearing such harsh words, Kamiki immediately thought, "Oh... I am the problem," and understood why Ai left, hence couldn’t hold her back. Ultimately, he ended up believing that even Ai couldn’t love and accept him, which led to Kamiki’s self-deprecation, thinking he was the problem all along. After realizing she had clung to Ai, he thought, "Ai didn't love me, she was there because she just couldn't avoid me being too pure and innocent"

However, his love for Ai wouldn’t have disappeared just like that. Ai was too significant for Kamiki. He loved her to the extent that he felt he heard his whole world collapsed from the breakup.

When Kamiki was near the hospital during Ai's delivery, I don’t think he intended to harm Ai. Why would he harm the person he truly loved who was having his children? He was probably heartbroken for a while after Ai’s breakup with him and, upon hearing about Ai’s health issues on the news, worriedly searched for her until he found about the hospital she was admitted to. On the day the children were born, it could be that he couldn’t approach Ai due to him being self-conscious about Ai’s refusal. He just nervously lingered nearby, and that's when he could have encountered Ryosuke, who was stalking Ai. I might be interpreting too favorably...

When Kamiki learned that Ai was going to give birth, even though Ai had said she wouldn't, he was probably surprised but not resentful. He might have been confused and curious about why she decided to have the children, but upon seeing the newborns from afar, he likely felt overwhelmed with emotion, thinking they were his children.

Perhaps he even thought it would have been nice if they could have been a family together. Though Ai intended to show the children to Kamiki for the first time when they were around four, I suspect Kamiki had been concerned and affectionate about them even before that.

If they had kept in touch intermittently and Ai had sent pictures of the children, things might not have become so extreme. Regardless, I believe Kamiki felt affection for their children. Though Taiki was a trauma for him...

The phone call scene should be shown from Kamiki's perspective once. Having kept a distant watch over Ai and the children, he would have felt internal familiarity and gladness, thinking, "Could we meet again?" After being firmly rejected, he might have made bad decisions. It's hard to know how much of what he said regarding Ryosuke is true, but the idea that Kamiki wanted to kill Ai? If that were true, the more detailed confession (that it wasn’t intentional) would not have come out when Aqua had pushed for it. He said that he was the one that clung to her and killed her and tried to leave it at that at first. Kamiki’s willingness to accept lifelong infamy for his actions, by his own child, implies something different. What he's said after he was inquired further by Aqua seems more truthful than what was initially told. There's probably more to this because it still seems illogical and weird to some extent, but we have to remember he was okay with being perceived at being solely responsible Ai's murderer to Aqua in Ch 153, but his detailed explanations that may not have been even told tells to be a bit different from that. That means he probably feels guilty enough to blame himself entirely for what's happened.

Kamiki advising Aqua and Ruby aligns with my interpretation of his character. These actions seem sincere. Given his affection for Ai, he may feel some warmth towards their children, as he once referred to Ruby as "our" children. He's also been able to see through how Aqua is in a very accurate sense, he seems to have watched him intently. Hence, when Aqua approached him, he expressed his feelings honestly.

To Aqua, he says stuff like "you might find me detestable, but I was glad to talk like this with you", and he gives some advice to Ruby too in a pretty kind way, actually. These actions are likely genuine. It's only natural to find the children, who resemble themselves and their loved one, adorable. Just as Ai told the twins, while dying, that she was glad to have given birth to the children, I think Kamiki, even if they didn't love the children as much as they do for Ai, would at least be happy about their existence. I believe Kamiki would have kept a distant watch over them all along. It's just that he couldn't approach them. As I mentioned before, if he really is a god or possesses some powers, he, along with Ai, who's become a star, might have been supporting the children together in their own respective ways. Though the children were not born intentionally, they were still born out of love.

I got it right, didn't I? In my post about Ai, I wrote that Kamiki might have wanted to take responsibility for the children, but Ai could've had hid and left to avoid burdening him. When Kamiki heard about the pregnancy, he immediately proposed marriage, didn't he? If they had been in their early twenties, they might have really been able to get together. They might have raised the children well as a young couple, finding them quite adorable. If they had become parents at a more typical age, they wouldn't have been incapable of raising the children. In fact, Ai contacted him when the children were about four years old, and she was twenty. She couldn't reunite with Kamiki because of her thriving idol career and the potential scandal.

From Ai's perspective!! If she had hoped for and imagined raising their children together, it means she believed Kamiki would take good care of them, and she was probably right. Also, Ai's idea of happiness included this. Ai, when you look closer, was inexperienced due to her youth but still loved the children in her own way and had a maternal instinct. Talking to Ryosuke to distract him when the door chain wasn't on and he could have invaded and harmed the children was a wise choice.

Haha, speaking of that, maybe because I fell asleep thinking about this manga, I had a terrifying dream last night. I was threatened by a crazy person with a razor blade in a large shopping mall, walking with them like a hostage. I kept talking to avoid being killed, seized the blade, and ran for my life. I got in a car, thinking I was safe, but people were fleeing in panic. The person had more than one blade and started swinging it when their hostage escaped. I felt guilty. I'm so glad it was just a dream.

It's my first time having such a dream. Even though it's not real, experiencing it in a dream makes me respect Ai's response. She managed to calm and turn away Ryosuke, protecting the children. Ai is smart and thoughtful. Her ways of speech to induce not getting back together was really blunt and hurtful not not exactly the best in terms of the emotions it could bring forth, but understandable. Her character is often lacking in emotional responses but sharp in thinking. Between the two, Kamiki is the more emotional one, but Ai was more mature in their relationship. Still, Ai loved Kamiki to the point of wishing he would rely on her and wanting to be his support and that says a lot. That was her way of loving.

Back to Kamiki, what are his current feelings about Ai? He still loves her and was once(and even now) is willing to give everything for her. His feelings for Ai were genuinely deep. Even when he resigned himself to believing Ai never loved him, he was willing to be avenged by Aqua if that's what she wanted. This wasn't a lie. He wouldn't lie to his children. His parental feelings are also genuine.

But there's something more. Kamiki has something in common with Aqua. There's something vast that he carries without revealing everything. After breaking up with Ai, he might have done a lot of wrong things, but his base nature actually seems to be on the timid side, even gentle. He couldn't properly communicate with Ai when she decided to break up all of a sudden, and just let her go, indicating his mild nature. For someone like him to take extreme actions, something extreme must have happened. Ai's death would be such a trigger. If he were to act extremely, it would be related to Ai. He lived a life of being pushed around, with little attachment to himself, being saved by Ai and deeply wanting to be with her. Ai caused him pain but was also his savior. For Kamiki, Ai was his reason for living.

When I saw the lyrics of "Fatal," I immediately had a huge hunch. The psychological state reflected in the song perfectly matches Kamiki's feelings towards Ai. It's very blind and desperate, with what he's originally had twisted negatively. The narrator of the song keeps trying to give and do something, feeling it's still not enough. This song fills in the gaps in Kamiki's character that were hinted at but not explicitly described. The narrator couldn't be anyone but Kamiki.

I understood why Kamiki came to love Ai so deeply through the flashbacks. Given their backgrounds, it made sense that he would love Ai immensely. So when I heard the song and read the lyrics, I immediately felt it was right. Do you think my analysis will be way off?

It seems like Ai and Kamiki's story draws motifs from Japanese mythology. One motif comes from the gods of entertainment, Ame-no-Uzume and Sarutahiko (in terms of abilities), and the other from the couple Izanagi and Izanami (with Amaterasu—she has something to do with Ruby-, Tsukuyomi, Susanoo—the sea god—Aqua). In the myth, Izanagi tries to bring back Izanami, who died giving birth, from the underworld but ultimately fails to revive her.

This narrative aligns with the first season's ending song "Mephisto" and the second season's opening "Fatal," which are about wanting to save someone and meet them again. So far, all efforts have been in vain, and the songs mention continuously offering something. If these songs reflect Kamiki's feelings, then Kamiki must still love Ai and desperately wish for her to come back to life. This seems very likely.

The concept of the "stage" is also mentioned in both songs. The protagonist struggles on stage, which won't let them go. They don't actually want to live that way, but their only purpose for enduring it is to reunite with their loved one. These songs seem like spoilers, hinting at future developments. Otherwise, why would such lyrics appear? It feels like there's a stage set by the gods, and the characters are trapped within it.

The first season's ending is titled "Mephisto," referring to a demon who grants wishes in exchange for one's soul.

Whether it's Aqua, Kamiki, or both, there's clearly a deal involving risking their existence or life to see Ai again. But it can't be Aqua because he was told by the Tsukuyomi girl that Ai could no longer reincarnate. Aqua's goal would be to fulfill Ai's wishes, not to meet her again. However, the songs' themes are clearly different from that. Something is up.

There are definitely suspicious gaps in Kamiki's actions, but thinking this way brings consistency to his sparse psychological reveals. One way or another, this character is obsessed with Ai, and Ai wants to help him.

When he realizes that the person he loved loved him back, he should be either sad or happy. But there's a reason for his shock (which is, also natural, but he's in utter shock). It might be that he's in a state where he cannot be saved.

When this character asked Ai for help as a child, Ai sincerely wanted to help but couldn't do enough alone. So, she wanted to help him along with their children. Comparing now to then, he might have walked into a much deeper pit on his own, for Ai's sake. Depending on the extent of what he did, he might end up still being unforgivable.. or maybe he might not have actually committed something as serious as it's been hinted and have a chance to be actually brought back to happiness But I can't envision a future where Kamiki lives happily for now. His life has been too miserable, so unfortunate.. and it's probably really messed up at this point too, so sacrificing himself for his children and following Ai might be his happy ending. Ai wants to see him, so it could be most happy if she came to take him with her. Considering the scenes shown so far, it's unclear if he deserves a happy ending. But anyhow, there's likely some special circumstance the guy's in that's going to bring a new light about his character

That's it. I had to talk about it all before the next episode comes up! If I'm wrong, well, that's that! But it was so fun analyzing him~

[goldengrecha]

Today I'm thinking about manga versions of Maxie and Archie, because it's something... I even dont have words for it. Like. Holy fucking shit.

In the beginning, of course, they're confront each other - that's the classic, they're rivals after all, standing for different things and all that things. They're different. They're opposites. They're still strongly exist in each other lives, because of their conflict.

But then

This happens. And this IS beginning of the end, because of course they're working together - and at the moment it looks like it is only for benefits for their goals, nothing else. They will destroy each other when they will get to finish.

They're fucking irritating(/pos), it almost feels like they're drawn to each other, in any scenario, their destiny is to meet, to exist in each other lives. None of them exist alone (and when one of them do exist alone, it means that something went terribly wrong).

AND THEN THINGS JUST GO EVEN WORSE (/pos)

This panel. I don't know where to start.

Do I need start with that they're realizing they work together perfectly? Do I start with that this making them thinking they needed to work together from the beginning? Do I start with that two men, who, up until this point, was fighting with each other and conflicting, hating each other, founded in each other the best partner they ever could have? Do I start with that they're probably the best persons in each other lives?

It is already very emotional (at least for me), but with how story goes on, they're connecting more and more, becoming even more emotionally fucked up.

AND THEN THERE IS EMERALD ARC???? CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT EMERALD ARC???????

There is so much going on in emerald arc I barely can find words for describing my emotions.

This is the fucking tragedy. Because, what do you mean, they're put in situation where is only one of them can leave alive for some more time? (Remember how I said that if only ONE if them exist it means that some shit is going to happen something going to go really terrible. It either them both exist or them both don't).

What do you mean Archie is literally killed Maxie, just for chance of living a little longer?

And this is tragedy, because Archie, in the end, loses again. And now, not only he does lose in literal sense - he didn't achieve his goal, after all. He loses everything he had - his team, his life, and most importantly, he loses his only friend. He is all alone now.

Ah yeah can we talk about

This?

It's just one phrase. It has so much in it.

Not only he calls Maxie friend, not only he confess that Maxie probably the only one person which Archie was thinking as a friend, but also like.

Consider this: this isn't oras archie yet. This version of archie is cold, closed and gloomy, genuinely intimidating person. He doesn't care about his team members, it is kind of okay for him to use them as tools (which, ironically, shows even in this interaction with Maxie: after all, Archie still killed him for a chance of living a bit longer. And Archie acknowledging that he betrayed Maxie. He betrayed his only one friend). He is a cold person, but it almost seems like Maxie managed to warm him up a bit, just a little bit. This is actually incredible and, again, endlessly emotional, and I still can't stress this enough. Holy fucking shit.

Just imagine Archie at this point. Imagine, because, the best person in his life always was his rival. His rival, and maybe, even friend.

And I told about this before, but can we talk about that in distorted world they became one? It's just so symbolic. Like, Archie and Maxie from beginning were opposites, they was supporting opposite things, their goals was completely opposite. But they can't choose only one of this, because everything around them is a combination of different, sometimes opposite things. Like even the land and water in Hoenn! Exactly this combination of land and water create Hoenn as we know it, and how they know it. And they, people, who choosed only one of these things, in the end, became the one themselves - isn't this ironic? Isn't this funny? Isn't it symbolic in some way? (I also fucking love how this fusion explain in some way why when oras hits, Maxie is more like original Archie, and Archie more like original Maxie. They had explored each other minds I'm sure of it)

And finally, ORAS, part that I love the most.

Not only they both was given chance of living again, but this is literally their peak. They're working together again - and by that I mean they're working perfectly together.

They even acknowledge it themselves:

And this is so good in contrast with Ruby and Sapphire arc - back then, they too, realized and started to think they're work perfectly together, but it still was mixed with some evil fucked up shit, but here? They're working together because they (ironically), have the same goal. And they're helping each other.

They're working together perfectly, this is so good for them. And no evil bullshit this time! It's actually best versions of them in some way - because they're working together, for sake both of humanity and pokemon. They working towards happiness and safety for everyone, not choosing and prioritizing only one of them.

And they're talking to each other as if they was old friends, partners, every one of their interactions shines with this somewhat warm feeling. This is so good for them. I would even dare to say that ORAS part was the happiest moments in their lives.

And.. Then end of ORAS hits.

And, again, as classic already, it's a small panel, but how much here is.

First of all, can I point that Archie died two times, and both times he was thinking of Maxie in some way?

And both times is some kind of emotional moment for Archie: first time, he calls Maxie friend (he doesn't call him by name, but. He obviously talking about him COME ON), and second time he ask Maxie, if he would want to work together again, if they will have chance to do so. I just love seeing this progression, how Maxie became more and more dear person for Archie as time goes on, how he became more attached to him. And Maxie does too!

It is such an incredible moment filled with so much emotions, with so much sense. I love how Archie doesn't even say his question fully, but Maxie still understands him. Of course he does, because, I'm sure, even if Archie didn't ask this, Maxie still would think of it. I'm sure if none of them said this, they still would understand this wish to work together again that they both have. At this point, they are incredibly connected together, and they have only each other.

I also love this moment, because when Archie died first time, he was told that, if he will continue like this, he will end up all alone. And Archie agrees to that: he answer in the way that he is already accepted that he is alone now, and he doesn't even have Maxie by his side (I still can't get over that he really highlighted him in this speech holy fucking shit). BUT then, when he appears next time, he appears as ORAS self, and his ORAS self is very different from what he was, not only as a person, but his motivation is different, too.

He changed in some way. And he ISN'T alone, because now, Maxie is by his side again. And I can't stop thinking about how happy it probably made Archie.

And even dying, he is calm, because he isn't alone. He have Maxie by his side. His only friend.

[antiaure]

One of these nights

characters: geto x reader (gn) - star plasma vessel arc S2 SPOILERS

synopsis: an angsty passage in which i take you through a typical night after you have suffered the traumatic incident of witnessing haibara’s death

cw: slight gore? its the same level of jjk gore, slight graphic description of what a curse looks like, not proofread sorryy this took me 2hrs!

It was like this every night.

Everyone would finish up their dinner for the day and wrap up their conversations before bidding their friends goodnight. They'd go home to their dorms and let their bodies melt into the night, dissolving into sleep.

The first part of the nighttime routine was fine for you, you could pretty much eat your food and enjoy the company of your 3 best friends. But when all was said and done and you dragged your way back to your dorm sullenly, you wouldn't sleep. Never again.

Because upon sleeping the scene would replay again and each night it got more vivid, you could hear the sounds too.

It was a special grade for sure, unregistered, yet still a special grade. Its body was designed in a way that it was covered in a grotesque plethora of holes that would ooze with tentacles if it so wished to capture its victims. Each tentacle had spikes and so when you saw the spikes wrap around Haibara you froze. It didn't even take long for him to let out piercing shrieks and so again you froze. If you fought you'd die, if you run he'd die, when you guys came you watched people die and so you froze.

Are teenagers supposed to live this way?

You lifted your body up from your soft futon upon feeling a solitary tear trail down your face. You'd only noticed you were really crying when you tasted the salt on your tongue. When you looked down you eventually noticed the goosebumps that swelled all over your arms and the chills that swooped over your body as if there was a gust that travelled within your blood. You gently tiptoed to your door.

Everyone is sound asleep right now.

The moon seemed to be glazing as brightly as she could today and the beams penetrated into your room. It's not sight someone should be familiar with as the night was meant to be slept through, not something to observe.

But you knew you weren't the only person like this and it calmed you.

"If you don't get your full 10 hours of beauty sleep, you'll never be as strong as me, (Y/N)!" Satoru exclaimed, poking his tongue out at you playfully as he was walking by Suguru whom was right beside you. At this, Suguru jerked his head straight in your direction. Satoru knew what he was doing. He knew that he couldn't help you and had to make Suguru help you. Because only he could do something.

Only he.

"What is this about?" Suguru asked, stopping in his tracks. You stopped too and let out a soft sigh. You both allowed Shoko and Satoru to head on, back to their dorms. You bit your lip in hesitation before deciding how to reply.

"He's just being dramatic. 8 hours of sleep works just the same, no?" You smiled up at him, praying he'd drop the topic. It's not as if you were afraid of opening up, you just didn't want to be a burden especially to him. You knew what he was going through himself, why did you have to be included in the equation?

"It didn't sound like he meant 8, (Y/N)," Suguru sighed. Why did he worry about you more than himself?

"7 and a half?"

"I'm saying this because you always tell me how you can hear how strongly the wind howls when its nighttime and everyone's quiet," he started, "and how it freaks you out." He's giving you that stern look again and you didn't want him to. The same look he gave you when you accidentally let it slip out that you would always go outside to play with snow forgetting to put on a jacket or scarf. You didn't want him to fret over you when he was losing himself. He was one to talk because you knew he always told you how each night the moon shines with various intensities and how beautiful it looked. You knew he was one to talk because he told you that the spark that blessed the moon matched the spark of your very own eyes and he softly admitted that he has only ever seen the beauty of the world when looking into your eyes. You didn't know what he meant, whether he loved you too or not, but you knew that you loved what he said.

And you also knew that just like you, he knew what went on deep into the night and was suffering just as much as you.

So you tiptoed straight to his dorm but paused at the door. Would you be disturbing him? Would he let you in?

"Suguru..." You whispered as you gently knocked on his door. You jumped back in surprise as the door whipped open before you could deliver a second knock.

He must've been at the door already.

"I..." he began, "I wanted to find you. But I didn't want to wake you up." You look up at him in shock. His raven tresses fell down against his shoulders and he wore a tight, long sleeved, black top with simple shorts for the night. It was his eyes, his sly, sharp eyes that you cared about now because in those eyes was the liquid drop of desperation and yearning. Yearning for you. When he saw the tears continue to stream down your cheeks as you walked towards him, he knew no more words needed to be said. He gently grasped your hand and led him deeper into his dorm, closing the door behind him. He sat you down on his bed and he sat right next to you.

"I can't sleep anymore, Suguru," you mumbled and more tears fell.

He wiped those tears with the smooth thumb of his right hand.

"I'm scared that if I do, I'll see it again. I'm tired but I'm afraid of sleeping," you cried and even more tears fell.

He wiped those tears with the top of his index finger.

"Why does it have to be us?" You asked. Whether it was a question to him or the air around you, you didn't know so you weren't surprised when he spoke without answering your question.

"I wanted to find you tonight because I wanted you to see it for yourself. Look how beautiful the moon is. A celestial pearl, never-ending glow. I never took notice of it until we started high school," he was distracting you, prompting you to look at the moon and abandon your fears. When you looked you saw a floating fish appear in front of you, following your eyes where it went. It was a pretty looking curse he had summoned for you, distracting you again.

He took note at how you'd stopped trembling where you sat and how he didn't need to wipe tears from your pretty eyes anymore.

"So many things will happen to us when we grow. It'll be good, it'll be bad, it'll be ugly. But there's nothing to be afraid of or feel guilty for. If it hasn't changed the beauty of the world around us, like the moon, then the pain will pass," he whispered, wrapping an arm around your head and pulling it directly to his chest.

His heart was beating rapidly, much like yours.

He continued, "You won't see it again, (Y/N). And even from now, with the new world I'll create, you won't experience anything like that again." He muttered this as he stroked your head and back and shoulders.

Inevitably you succumbed to sleep and instead of a nightmare you saw nothing. You were at peace. You barely got a chance to question his own eyebags, whether or not he had slept himself or why he kept mentioning this new world.

But you were grateful. That each and every night you'd come with tears pouring down your face, despite you wanting to avoid burdening him, he'd let you in. It was just like this every night, crying, hesitating if he'd let you in again, letting you melt into his arms.

So who could blame you when you lost your mind when he'd left? You pledged that one of these nights, you'd find him again. Whether he loved you like you loved him or not, whether you agreed with his new ideals or not, you needed him.

And you hoped it was just as much as he needed you.

[zoeykallus]

Do you take requests? I would love to read something with Hunter where he teaches you how to fight :))) smut is also welcome

Hmm, thanks for the input 🔥🔥🔥

Hunter x Fem!Reader One-Shot - Show Me What You've Got

Warnings: Smut/Strongly Suggestive/Soft-Dom Hunter/Training Turns To Smut/Sexual Content/Dub-Con(?)/Dirty Stuff/18+

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You won't find much of a plot here 🤷🏻‍♀️

Also, I'm so tired I could cry, so this is not proofread, sorry...

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You are much too self-confident, actually you already know that before you visit him, so far you never beat hunter in a sparring session. But you want to try out the few moves you learned yesterday. And who would be better suited for that than Hunter, whom you like to get close to anyway? The man is downright outrageously handsome, with his dark hair, that striking face, those firm muscles under his toned skin. Combined with that deep, slightly smoky voice, the way he moves and looks at you, a cocktail that always makes your heart beat faster and fills your nights with wild dreams. Hunter really likes to be alone. You know that because he always makes sure he has a training room all to himself in the barracks. Basically, Hunter withdraws from others at every opportunity rather than seeking their proximity. You know why he takes time off whenever he can, trains alone, and spends as little time as possible with other soldiers besides his own squad. Hunter's extraordinary senses cause him to be quickly exposed to sensory overload, with things that others wouldn't even notice. Being continuously exposed to everything in this way, you imagine, is very exhausting.

So you can understand his general reserve. Hunter is already waiting for you when you enter the training room. He has already spread out the large mat on the floor, which is supposed to cushion any possible falls. You examine him quickly, inconspicuously. Black muscle shirt, black sports pants, barefoot. Of course, he's wearing his bandana, as usual. He has bandaged his hands, probably he intends to go to the punching bag later, you have observed him secretly, fascinated sometimes. The flex of his muscles, the power behind each punch, his posture. You suppress a longing sigh at the thought. Hunter addresses you, snapping you out of your thoughts. "There you are. I've been waiting." You glance at the clock hanging on the wall of the room above your heads, and say dryly, "I'm five minutes early." Hunter smiles with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, "I know, but you're usually in earlier than that" You blink, feeling caught. Does he know that you sometimes secretly watch him? But he distracts your thoughts again.

"You learned something new you wanted to try with me?" he asks curiously. "Um, yeah, right. Something Wolffe showed me." Hunter frowns briefly and asks, so casually it almost doesn't seem casual anymore, "Since when do you hang out with the wolf pack?" The way you look at him makes him feel like you're looking right into him and seeing through his curious question. So he looks down at his hands and pretends he needs to fix the bandages. Somehow you can't recognize his behavior for what it is at this moment. You shrug your shoulders and say, "For quite some time now, as a matter of fact, sometimes. Did I never tell you about it before?" "No, you didn't," Hunter says, clearing his throat and pulling his bandana a little tighter. "Well, now I've told you," you say lightly, unaware of why he's so interested. Hunter nods and says, "Okay, show me what you've got."

His gaze wanders along your body, your posture. Your black yoga pants hugging your curves, the shirt you wear is a little wider, but knotted in the back. Hunter is distracted and promptly lands on his back as you pull his legs away with a simple trick. He makes a startled noise before landing on the ground. Grinning, you bend over him. "Well, that was easy today," you say, amused.

"I wasn't fully on top of my game. That doesn't count." You snort and laugh softly, "Oh come on Hunter, no one on the battlefield cares if you're ready or not either". His eyes narrow, and he says suspiciously smoky, "Hmm, good point". In the next moment he's grabbed you, taken down your defenses, has you on your back and is on top of you.

"Damn," you curse softly and try to break free, but he holds you under him with ease. He grins at you and your heart really jumps out at him, but not only that, a gentle pulse has arisen between your thighs as your nether regions touch, and you feel every contact very clearly through the thin fabric of your pants. "Gotcha, once again," he says with a grin.

You smile back nervously. You are aware of how sharp his senses are, and he will notice the change in your mood and hormone balance very quickly. Finally, you see it in his face. His expression changes, the smile slowly disappears, he blinks and tilts his head slightly to the side. "That's new," he says softly. You don't even ask what he means, because you already know. You swallow and say just as quietly, "Sorry." You expect him to let go of you and seek distance, but he surprises you. Hunter grabs both of your wrists with one hand and pins them above your head on the mattress, his other hand gently moving to the back of your neck. "There is no need to be sorry, if you ask me".

He knows it's a daring move, but he cant help it, he has to take the leap and taste the waters.

Your heart almost jumps out of your chest as his face comes closer and closer. His lips touch yours, slowly at first, tenderly, and your pulse begins to race, your eyes closing. Hunter's tongue slides over your lips which automatically open for him, and as it slides in and touches yours, the pulse between your thighs intensifies. You moan softly into the kiss. Very clearly, you feel him slowly getting hard as his pelvis still rests on yours, between your thighs. The hand that is on your neck slowly moves down, over the fabric of your shirt, feeling your breasts, gently kneading them, probing. His thumb feels your nipples, which are erected, pressing through the thin fabric of your bra and shirt.

A shiver runs down your spine, a tingle spreads through your belly as he plays with your nipples through the fabric, still holding you captive beneath him and his kiss. Ever so slowly, barely noticeably, he moves between your legs, pushing his hard length through the fabric, rubbing over your pubic, sparking gentle, stimulating friction. Hunter's hand finally moves under the fabric, while the other still holds your wrists. You feel his bare fingertips on your skin, the rough fabric of the bandages on his hands as he pushes the cups of your bra up and off your breasts to get at the soft, velvety mounds beneath. Suddenly he straightens up, sitting between your thighs, and let's go of you. He points an admonishing finger at you with a dirty little smile and says, " Stay right there." You obey, not even thinking of contradicting him. He takes off the bandages, removes them from his hands and tosses them carelessly to the side before throwing himself over you again. He stops just inches away from your face, catches himself with his hands on the mat, and grins at you.

Hunter teasingly kisses your chin and the tip of your nose, then straightens up again, pulling your T-shirt over your head. "Be a good girl and come with me," he says in an almost whisper, close to your ear, just before he bites your earlobe very gently.

You swallow, but nod and let him help you up. Clad only in your panties, you follow him to a side chamber where other workout equipment is stored. Hunter leads you to one of the benches where people usually lift weights, puts his towel over it and gently but firmly pushes you onto it so that you are lying on your back in front of him.

With a little smirk, he says, "Good girl."

Hunter wanders down along your body, pulling off your yoga pants and murmuring, "I really need to smell and taste you." You blink, heat flooding your body the second you realize exactly what he means by that. Your pants land on the floor, then his fingers travel down from the base of your breasts to where your body is radiating the most heat. His fingertips ghost over the thin fabric of your panties, lingering on the wet spot, exerting playful pressure. Hunter is kneeling in front of the bench, head between your thighs, close to your pubic area, he takes a deep breath and shakily expels it. "Damn, what a scent!"

His cock is already twitching expectantly in his pants, your hormones, the luring substances your body produces in arousal, tingling under his skin, from crown to toe. His fingers finally wander under the waistband of your panties and pull them off as well.

You can't believe that you are lying practically naked on a bench in one of the training halls, Hunter's head between your thighs. He has reserved this room for himself, but it is not locked, someone could still come in. But this thought suddenly disappears from your mind when you feel his breath on your damp folds, and shortly after his lips and tongue.

He presses his tongue to your pussy, roaming through your folds, dipping into your sensitive, wet hole once or twice, making you twitch, before he focuses on your clit. His tongue, exerting perfect pressure, circles skillfully and nimbly on the bundle of nerves. You haven't noticed it yourself yet, but you're already sighing, moaning and gasping, fueling him in his efforts. Hunter feels exactly each of your reactions, knows exactly when and what causes your arousal to increase, and thus learns very quickly, to perfection, every pressure, every movement that sends you into ecstasy. You tremble with aroused tension, your thighs quiver gently. You are so horny, and yet a part of you is very aware of what is happening and can't quite grasp it. That's Hunter tonguing your clit as if he's been programmed to do just that. It feels so good, everything is tingling and vibrating inside you, your hands are gripping the bench above your head and clutching at it.

He is relentless. You hear the soft slurp, a repetitive soft aroused rumble deep from his chest as he holds your thighs apart with his hands. He's getting faster and faster, his tongue gliding over your swollen pearl more and more rapidly. Hunter is literally chasing you towards your orgasm. The knot that has formed in your belly loosens, a fiery tingle pulses through your clit, your pussy twitches and drips. Your moan is almost like a little scream. Hunter's tongue massages you through a prolonged, intense climax.

You dare only a brief glance and see his intense eyes, the pupils so dilated that his eyes seem almost black. His senses are full of you, your scent and your hormones have practically overpowered him. He lets go of your clit, just at the right moment, and you're just about to catch your breath when he moves further down and his tongue suddenly drills into your dripping opening and starts licking you out. "Hunter!" you exclaim, startled. Hypersensitive after climaxing, you twitch and tremble as he uses his tongue to fill you. He has to grip tighter to keep you from escaping his grasp and slipping off the bench with your twitching. You claw even harder with your hands on the bench. Hunter takes his time, absorbing every drop of your juices like a starving man. It takes a moment, but your arousal builds again. Suddenly his head comes out from between your legs and he takes a deep breath.

"What a feast, my good girl," he says in a voice rough with horniness. He straightens up, kneeling in front of the bench, his pelvis between your thighs, and you catch a glimpse of his hard length. His cock is thick, long, gently curved, the tip slightly red and swollen, leaking pre-cum. You lick your lips, knowing what's coming next, can't wait to feel him inside you. But you're also a little nervous. You know him, you know he won't hurt you, but this has all happened so suddenly and quite unexpectedly. As if sensing it, he looks at you and asks softly, "Are you ready for me, beautiful?" You blink, feeling a little breathless, but you nod and say, "I couldn't be more ready." He smirks, looks down, grips the base of his cock and guides the tip to your pussy. Hunter is hungry, very much so, but he takes it slow, applying only gentle pressure at first, prodding at your entrance, softly. You bend your legs and pull them up, opening your thighs invitingly a little wider for him.

Hunter applies more pressure, parts your wet folds and slowly advances between your slick walls. You watch him as he tenses his muscles. He licks his lips, looks down and watches in fascination as his hard length sinks into you. As he bottoms out in you, he closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. The feeling is intense, for both of you. For him as your wet heat closes around his cock, his senses full of you, and for you as he stretches and fills you. One of his hands moves to your hip and grips gently but firmly, the other moves to your pubic area. His fingertips gently glide over your clit, which is swollen, gently pulsing. Your legs clamp gently but firmly around his hips, showing him you're ready for more. Hunter smiles in satisfaction. He can definitely feel and smell your willingness. He knows that his fingers dancing on your pearl have got you going again. His hips pull back a bit and thrust into you again. A soft wet sound, accompanied by the impact of naked skin on naked skin, fills the room. He takes you slowly, but he gradually speeds up. You feel each thrust, erotically invading, combined with your pearl pulsing under his fingers, and you lean your head back.

Hunter watches you, your every movement, the way your breasts move with each of his thrusts, and again and again he looks down, watching your bodies merge. "This is so good, Hunter," you moan, pushing against his thrusts, using your hands on the bench to push. He's getting faster and faster. The accelerating, lewd sound of your bodies colliding with each thrust, mixed with your lustful sounds, is like music to his ears. The tension, the intensity increases, you feel it too. You automatically tense your abdomen, causing your pussy to close even tighter around his cock.

He lets out a half-swallowed moan. His fingers on your clit quicken, his whole body tense, hard as granite. You groan out in a near whisper, "So close." "Good girl," Hunter presses out breathlessly.

His thrusts become irregular, he bites his lower lip, his hand on your hip grips tighter. Your climax pulses through the center of your body, makes your pussy twitch, and your thighs shake. A curse comes across your lips. The next moment you hear him let out a deep, drawn-out moan, feel his warm seed coating your walls. Two-three more slow, firm thrusts and Hunter pauses, breathing heavily. You both catch your breath, only now noticing that everything here smells musty like an old gym, mixed with the distinct tangy, salty smell of sex. He leaves your body, gently cleans you with the towel. Then, finally, your eyes meet again. You look at each other for a moment, then both of you grin. "That was an interesting workout," you say, laughing softly. He chuckles and says, "That's something Wolffe sure didn't show you." You look at him cheekily and say, "How would you know?" Hunter frowns, his smile disappears, he doesn't seem to know quite what to say. You can see his shoulders tense. You chuckle and say, "You should see your face. Relax Sergeant, you're the only soldier who's been between my thighs so far."

Hunter's shoulders relax again, he raises a brow in amusement, "If you don't mind, I'd like to remain the only one in the future"

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

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@hunterssecretrecipe

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@greaser-wolf

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@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

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@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@bandnerdlevel43

[totowlff]

chapter five — report card

➝ what is it like to be truly seen by someone you like?

➝ word count: 2,2k

➝ warnings: mentions of smut and aftercare

Everything seemed too far away from Toto.

There was no pain, but there was no pleasure either. There was nothing.

The sweet smell of the vanilla scented candle mixed with the sweat and semen on his skin, somewhere he didn't know where it was. Not that he'd moved to see where he'd come that time, after practically begging to Ava. He hadn't moved an inch since she'd pulled away from him with a smile, satisfied with his obedience.

But why couldn't he feel the same way?

— Toto — a female voice said, softly — Are you okay?

A sound similar to something affirmative came out of his mouth. However, the truth was that Toto didn't really know if he was okay. It was something strange, a kind of emptiness inside his chest, even though his heart was still beating strongly, his pulse was roaring in his ears. It was as if he were completely hollow.

The answer probably didn't please Ava, judging by the expression when her face entered his field of vision. Her lips, which had started the night painted red, were pressed into a thin line, her eyes seeming to analyze him carefully as she brought one of her hands to his face.

— Are you sure you’re okay, Toto? — she repeated, softly.

He nodded, words jumbling together in his head in an attempt to formulate a coherent response. However, that gesture was enough for the woman to give a soft smile, almost as if she had understood something that not even Toto had yet understood.

— You did well today — Ava whispered, her fingers lightly brushing his cheek.

— I did? — he managed to ask, his dry throat making the words come out strangely hoarse from his mouth.

— Yes, very well — she smiled tenderly — You're getting good at this, you know?

— Do you think?

— I know when I'm in front of a good submissive — Ava replied — And you're being an incredible submissive for me.

The last word made Toto smile a little. There was something about the idea of pleasing Ava that compelled him to do his best in that room. And hearing from her lips that he had done well, that he was a good submissive for her was priceless.

— I like it — he cooed, bringing one of his hands to hers.

— Do you like being an incredible submissive?

— I like being yours — Toto replied, in a low voice. His eyes were lost in hers, the brown flecks mixing with the delicate green. “She's so beautiful”, he thought, as Ava watched him with a small smile.

— I also like that you're my little boy — she finally said, before placing a soft kiss on his lips. The gentleness with which she touched him made Toto feel the emptiness being slightly filled. He was not alone, quite the opposite. He had never been in better company, but…

After a few more kisses, Ava managed to get Toto to sit on the bed, leaning back against the headboard while she went to the small fridge that was in the corner of the room and took something from there. He only identified what the woman had brought the moment she sat down next to him.

— That's…

— Water — Ava said, placing the bottle in his hand. Faced with his hesitation, she continued — You need to hydrate, little boy. Drink it.

Bringing the bottle to his mouth, Toto realized how thirsty he felt as the cold liquid began to flow down his throat. He had drunk almost all of it when he stopped to catch his breath.

— I was going to suggest you drink more slowly, but it doesn't make much difference now — she murmured, smiling — Better?

Toto nodded. He definitely needed that. Apparently satisfied with the answer, Ava got up from the bed and then helped him do the same. Then, she took him to the bathroom in the room, indicating for him to enter the bathtub installed there.

— But — he stammered, a little confused with the direction — It's empty.

The remark made Ava laugh.

— I know, little boy. Come in and sit down.

Still not understanding what she was getting at, Toto gave in, getting into the bathtub and sitting on the cold, white porcelain. Then it was Ava's turn to enter, but unlike him, she sat on the edge, with her legs positioned next to him. A few seconds later, he heard the sound of water running towards the drain, as well as the tap being turned to adjust the temperature.

The feeling of water running down his back made Toto let out a long sigh. The temperature was perfect, warm enough that he felt cozy, like he was wrapped in a hug.

— How does that feel? — Ava asked, as Toto nodded — Great. Just relax now, okay? I will take care of you.

Toto just muttered a 'yes', while the jet of water went up his back until it reached his head. Feeling her fingers massage his scalp, he felt his body gradually relax, the muscles that were tense were now looser. He felt so comfortable that he could have fallen asleep right there.

The two continued in silence for some time, while Ava washed his hair slowly, the foam running towards the drain as she rinsed the dark strands.

— Feeling better? — she asked softly.

— A little — Toto murmured, his eyes fixed on the bubbles that were near his feet.

— Have you ever felt this way before?

— What way? — he asked, looking up at her.

— The way you’re feeling right now.

Toto pursed his lips, his stomach churning with tension. It definitely wasn't new to him, but it had never been as overwhelming as that night. But nothing bothered him more than the idea of Ava knowing about it and, in some way, feeling upset or even mad at him for feeling that way.

— What are you talking about? — Toto questioned, trying to emulate some innocence.

— I mean, the sadness you feel. How you feel emptiness, and guilt. 

He blinked. Apparently, he was an open book to Ava.

— I never…

— You've felt this before, there's no point lying to me now.

Toto swallowed. He was cornered.

— I'm sorry, Ava. I'm really sorry. I try not to feel like that, I try to focus on what we did and the good feelings but — his voice trailed off, his throat tightened with anguish — Damn, it's always like this. It's always the same and there are times when it doesn't go away.

— What?

— This feeling of being disposable, of being just a toy for you to have fun with.

Those words made the tears that had been accumulating in his eyes run down his face. Lowering his head, Toto was certain that he’d never looked more pathetic in his life. After all, was there anything more ridiculous than crying naked in a bathtub after another session of incredible sex with a fantastic woman?

— You know that's not how I see you, right? — Ava said, seriously. That made him raise his head suddenly, the fear that she had taken his words as an offense or something filling his chest with worry.

— I didn't want to…

— I never saw you as a toy, Toto, quite the opposite. Domination is something serious for me and I would never treat it as a game, much less fun — she explained — But I understand where these thoughts and feelings come from, so it's okay for you to question that.

— Do you? — Toto asked in a low voice.

— Yes. You're experiencing what is called a “sub drop”. 

Something about that last word made him hesitate for a few seconds. Despite having read a lot about the world of submission in recent months, Toto didn't remember that term being mentioned on some of the sites, much less in the conversations they had had about the sessions.

— What is that?

— It's a reaction that happens in your brain after you leave the euphoric state of the sessions and return to the real world. After such an intense scene, it’s natural for your dopamine levels to bottom out. It makes you feel empty, anguished, exactly as you described to me.

— It is serious?

Ava nodded.

— No, it's not serious. It just means you need more time and attention, that's all.

Something about those words made his heart sink. Toto didn't want to be a problem for Ava, especially in that context. He wanted to be the person who satisfied her, who made her happy and not another source of stress and worry. That would probably be their last date, after all, no woman wanted to sleep with a guy who simply went into depression after coming.

— I’m sorry — he muttered softly, lowering his head.

However, Ava brought one of her hands to his face, lifting him towards her.

— You don't have to apologize, Toto.

— But, aren't you mad at me?

She raised an eyebrow.

— Why would I be?

— Because of this… Thing you said, this sub stuff.

He wasn’t expecting Ava’s reaction to his question.

She smiled. Not one of the mischievous or cruel ones that she sometimes gave him, but a gentle smile.

— I would never be mad at you for that. It’s something completely natural and is not something you have to be embarrassed about. Almost all submissives go through it at some point.

Toto pursed his lips when he heard the word “submissives”. Ava was experienced, having probably dominated many men on her journey through the world of BDSM. However, thinking about them and the way they probably satisfied her better made the anguish rise again in his chest.

— They didn't have that, did they?

— Who? — Ava questioned him.

— Your other submissives. They didn't go through that, right?

— Wrong. Almost all of them have gone through it, and some had much worse reactions. One of them had the habit of leaving right after the sessions without saying a word and would go days without answering my messages or answering my calls — she said, while combing his damp hair back, letting her fingernails drag gently across his scalp — It was at that time that I discovered that dominants can also experience something similar.

— They can?

— It's called a dom drop, but the concept is the same. And just like the sub drop, there is also a way to resolve it.

— How?

— Doing exactly what we’re doing — Ava replied, taking the handheld showerhead to his head and wetting his hair — Taking care of you. Showing you that the sessions are just a role-playing game and that you are not a toy. Showing you that I care about your well-being, above all else.

Toto didn't know what to say after that. There was so much kindness, so much sweetness in Ava's words that he felt compelled to reciprocate in some way. After a few seconds of indecision, he simply put one of his arms behind her legs and hugged her, in absolute silence.

Feeling Ava's free hand stroke his head, Toto felt strangely safe there. It was as if, in fact, he had finally managed to strip away all the labels and expectations that had been placed on him, leaving just a man, naked and raw. A man capable of choosing to submit to the most beautiful woman in the world. A man who wouldn't hesitate to do anything to make her happy.

A man who had finally stopped being invisible.

Ava continued the bath in silence, rubbing Toto's skin gently. The scent of the liquid soap she had spread over his shoulders reminded him of Sardinia, with its cool late afternoon breeze coming from the sea. “Maybe I should invite her to come with me”, he thought to himself, as the water running down his body took the foam to the drain.

After getting up from the bathtub, Toto dried himself off with Ava's help, enjoying the focused expression on her face. Her eyes, still well-lined and with voluminous eyelashes, followed the movement of her hands, which dried his skin with the plush fabric. Her red mouth, with the tip of her tongue peeking out of the right corner, indicated that she was focused on the activity, which made him smile.

— What’s wrong? — she asked.

— None, just admiring you. You look beautiful when you're focused.

Ava gave a shy little smile before asking him to cover up and follow her. Toto figured they would go back to bed to relax, but he was surprised when she led him out of the room in silence. Following her down the dark hallway, he only realized where they were going when Ava turned on the lights.

The place was bright and minimalist, with the same modern touch as in other rooms in the house. However, that didn't make it any less cozy or inviting, quite the opposite.

— Is this your bedroom?

— Yes — Ava replied, as she walked to the bed and settled in it. Then, she patted the pillow next to her — Come here.

Without saying a word, Toto dropped the towel on the bedroom floor and laid down next to her, allowing Ava to pull him towards her and make him lie against her chest. As she gently stroked the back of his head, Toto listened to the sound of her heart beating. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh.

— Comfortable? — she asked softly.

— Yes — Toto replied, going quiet for a few seconds before adding — Thank you very much.

— For what?

— For seeing me. For really seeing me. Thank you, ma’am.

[kaorikarma]

Let Your Soul Take Flight

Howard Phillips Lovecraft X Reader

"I'm... starving.."

"Aren't you always?" You tsked, having been caring for him for several days. From the moment you saw him, emotionless and uncaring in a pouring rain shower, you knew he would be difficult; but you hadn't expected just how deeply odd he was.

He hummed, gazing at a wall with what you could only hope was some sort of thoughts processing in his brain.

"Most of the time." His head turned to look at you at an eerie, inhuman swivel while he answered, eyes blank and wide. You shivered a bit, something you hoped he didn't notice.

"Ok, well, let's go for a round three on taking care of that today. Let's try a buffet this time. I can't afford $300 in fast food again." You sighed, noting his doe-eyed expression. He didn't really seem to care if he drained your wallet; hell, he didn't even seem to fully grasp the concept of monetary value.

Feeding him had been a monumentous task. It was first on your list, since he looked frighteningly gaunt and emaciated, but nothing seemed to fill his stomach.

He constantly complained of being hungry, tired, and itchy, though no amount of sleep, food, or anti-itch cream sated him. He just stared at you with those blank, dead eyes.

There was something about him that made you decide to keep trying. He didnt seem to understand anything about society, and you were strongly worried for his well-being otherwise. At first, you had suspected mental health issues, his eccentricities ever-present to a degree of naiveté, but after the several days you'd spent trying and failing to care for him, you began to suspect some inhumanity present in him. His odd movements, insatiable needs, the way you discovered late last night that the cause of his consistent itching was your gaze, he seemed to you too strange to be human.

You plopped down in the chair in front of your bed, which he had promptly taken over before you could direct him to your couch, complaining all the while that the linens were giving him a rash. Head in hand, you watched his brows furrow with unease as you looked him in the eyes.

"You said mostly. So.. what's kept you full in the past, stranger?" He paused for a second.

"Mm... Call me Lovecraft." The words floated lazily off his tongue. He hadn't graced you with his name yet, though he knew yours.

Your eyebrows shot up with amusement. "Well that's certainly a step in the right direction..., Lovecraft. You starting to trust me now?" You chuckled a bit as he seemed to look regretful of the admission, turning to look away from you.

"Ugh...Yuck. My stomach aches when you call me by that name."

You openly face-palmed, albeit playfully.

"If that's your name, what else should I call you?"

He seemed to think for a moment.

"...How..ard..? No.. that doesn't feel right either.. Perhaps you should go back to calling me 'stranger'." He finished, crossing his arms with a deep frown.

"Howard? Hmm.. a bit old-fashioned, but I think it suits you well--" He gave you such a look of incredulous disgust that you sat, slack-jawed; you couldn't recall a single time he seemed to feel so strongly about anything.

"Absolutely not.. It feels too weird... ugh... no..no..." You watched as he pulled the blankets of your freshly made bed over his head, quite literally hiding under the covers, writhing a bit, like he'd been physically wounded by your attempt to call him by name.

Sighing once again, you stood up to pull the covers off his slender frame, but found that he tugged stronger than you could pull your fleecy bed-spread from him.

You sat next to him, dramatically flopping backwards until you were lying next to him, on top of the still-tucked in edge of the bedding.

"So your name must be Howard Lovecraft, huh?"

He made some sort of hissing sound and withdrew further under the blankets, curling into an ill-proportioned, too-leggy ball of a gangly, tall man.

"But you don't like either of those."

No hiss. A good sign.

"What about a nickname?" You looked over at the lump under the covers; had there been no linen divider, your noses could almost touch.

You swore you heard a low grumble in his throat. Not particularly a pleased sound, but it wasn't an aggressive 'no'.

You put a wary hand on where you thought the back of his head would be, feeling his breath catch and his body shiver with the unexpected sensation. He didn't pull away, like you'd thought he would. This was the one of the first times you'd been this close to him, and the first time you'd touched him, even if indirectly, through thick cotton.

You admonished the feeling, letting all the possibly nicknames for 'Howard' run through your head.

"What about... Howie?" You whispered to the ball next to you.

He growled again, this time more than pleased.

Not a man of many words, but as you smiled, happy with with yourself for finding something he liked, he emerged from the blankets, navy hair mussed, but looking overall content with his new namesake.

He reached out an touched the base of your head curiously, as you had done to him, light smile gracing his face.

"Perhaps..is this... affection, you displayed to me?" He asked quizzically, voice soft and slow with all the wonder of a dreaming child.

The moment was gentle, you thought, but you were having trouble focusing on his words with the deep, freezing chill the emanated from his fingertips, making your skin prickle with goosebumps.

You took the icy plunge and braced yourself for discomfort as you embraced him quickly and tightly, head resting in the crook of his neck.

He seemed confused and surprised, arms still where they were a moment ago, helplessly curled around the air.

"Yes, Howie. This is affection."

When his arms finally came down to awkwardly squeeze you, you realized this was the first time you had given him attention in which he responded well; no shivers of discomfort or anxious expressions in sight. He seemed to actually enjoy the embrace, freezing cold and trying to keep your teeth from chattering as you were.

You weren't sure how you'd not realized he was this cold before. Though you'd been staying decently far away from him, you thought that he would eminate this raw polar cold from a distance, yet you'd not felt a single change in the air until you were in his arms.

Though he'd relaxed and began deepening the embrace himself now, you had to pull away out of sheer discomfort, briefly looking down to see your bare skin blue and purple-tinged where you'd touched him for too long.

You hoped he didn't notice, although he looked disoriented after you'd broken the hug off so suddenly, looking a bit upset and ready to cling to you again, so you changed the topic with a gentle smile.

"You didn't answer my question earlier. What's kept you full in the past?" You repeated, knowing he'd already blanked on the question from minutes earlier.

He blinked for a moment, thoughts slowly returning to your prior conversation.

"I've not been full since I was a child. I ate copious amounts of crabs and fish, until I was sated for a few hours." At least he was more open to your probing questions now.

"Wow, your parents must have thought you a real challenge, huh?"

He looked down at you from his high perch with an unnerving gaze, not at all kindly and curious as it was a moment ago.

"I was capable of feeding myself. My parents had nothing to do with it."

"Oh.. ok, then."

You looked down at your feet, shuffling to the other side of the room before he took your hand, unexpectedly. A chill ran through your body, but his touch was so soft and pleading for you to look back at him, you didn't pull away.

"Am I too cold?" He asked, observing the way your fingers reddened in his grasp.

"A bit," you laughed lightheartedly, through half-chattering teeth.

He dropped his hand, ruffling through an inner pocket of his coat until he pulled out thick, woolen gloves.

Pulling them on, he took your hand again.

"Better?" You barely felt the chill of his hands this time. Smiling, you nodded at him.

"Let's go get lunch, Howie."

He let out a low, quiet laugh, accompanied by a near-impercievable smile, that barely reached your ears.

Maybe the third time would be the charm.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Note: Can be taken as a (long-before) prequel to 'Primal'. I want most of my Lovecraft stories to follow the same essential plot and lore I set up, so they shouldn't have many differences unless it's a request.

Thanks for reading!

June 5th, 2023

-Kaori

[cookiegirlsstuff]

The Hobi cheer up (pt. 1)

AN: This is part 1 of a series that will consist of 7 parts.I hope you like it!

Lee: Jungkook

Ler: J-hope

༉‧₊˚🖇🖤❀༉‧₊˚.

The door slammed shut with a loud bang and an angry-looking Jungkook stormed into the house.

He didn't even give his hyungs a glance before settling down on the couch.

"Jungkookie are you alright?" Jin asked worriedly as he watched the youngest drink a glass of water in a hurry.

"Yes, of course. I'm completely fine," Jungkook mumbled, although everyone could see that the opposite was the case.

"Bad day?" Yoongi asked, but Jungkook decided to just ignore him.

"Jungkook, if you're not feeling well, you can talk to us," Taehyung assured him.

"I'm fine, why don't you understand that? The training was just a bit exhausting, that's all and now leave me alone!" Jungkook shouted before getting up and disappearing into his own room.

"Yup… he definitely isn't well," Jimin commented.

"But what can we do to help him? He's not really going to let anyone get close to him right now," Namjoon said.

"I think I have a plan," J-hope smirked before quietly whispering his idea to the others.

In the meantime, Jungkook had practically fled to his room and was now lying exhausted on his bed. Lately, everything had become more and more exhausting and he felt like he was letting down everyone else.

Suddenly there was a knock on his locked door and he heard a familiar voice: "Jungkook, it's J-hope. Can you please open the door?"

Sighing, the younger boy shuffled to the door and pushed down the handle. He wasn't really in the mood to talk to the others, but he didn't want to upset his hyung either.

"What do you want?" he asked, his voice sounding more annoyed than intended.

"Jungkookie, that's not very nice. How do you talk to your lovely hyung?" the older one asked playfully.

Slowly, Jungkook was really fed up with Hoseoks childish behaviour and started to get really irritated.

"Shut up," he mumbled. He actually thought that his hyung hadn't heard him, but he was wrong.

"Did you just tell me to shut up?" shouted J-hope in fake disbelief.

Jungkook swallowed.

"I understand that you're in a bad mood today, but with this mood you really need a Hobi cheer up," said his bandmate smiling.

"What's that?" Jungkook asked in confusion, but he didn't have time to think about it because a few seconds later, J-hope was on his hip and had pinned Jungkook's hands above his head.

"Where do I start here?" Hoseok chuckled before lifting up Jungkook's hoodie and running his finger over Jungkook's tummy.

"No hobi hyung…pleahahase don't," Jungkook giggled and tried to free himself.

"Aww such a little baby. And you were just about to tell me to shut up?" J-hope laughed teasingly.

Meanwhile, he had started to trace all his fingers up and down Jungkook's sides and Jungkook was a just a cute and laughing mess.

"I'm sahaharry…..reahally," Jungkook laughed desperately while still trying to get free.

"That won't help you now. And apart from that, you really needed a cheer up my dear Mr Grumpy cat," said Hobi.

"Nahaha", Jungkook yelled or more....he tried.

“Oh but I strongly feel like you needed this,” Hoseok countered, now moving his hands under the younger’s arms. The maknae let out an undignified shriek and burst into even more loud laughter.

“You really are ticklish, Kookie,” he hums. “I didn’t think it was possible to be so ticklish.”

Jungkook immediately turned a pretty shade of pink, darkening every time his hyung teased him like that.

But then came the worst part: J-hope started to move his fingers along Jungkook's tummy in a spinning motion again. But he kept moving it near to Jungkook's belly button…his absolute worst spot!

Until he finally dipped it in. Jungkook's laughter went up another octave, if that was even possible. It was really embarassing but at the same time he could really feel how his stress melted away more and more with every touch of pure affection.

"And…cheerful again?" he asked after a while and finally finished his "cheer up".

"Yes, thank you hyung. I didn't realise how much I needed that myself.

"You are welcome", Hoseok replied before they both set off to the others in the living room.

What do you think? I know it's a little bit short but I tried my best! Which member should get a "hobi cheer up" next? .💜✌

[staycalmandhugaclone]

You'll Have to Go Through Me

We're at a point where I strongly recommend not reading this until after working your way through the entirety of Doc's Misadventures beginning, of course with Touch Starved!

There are still some slots left for the 400 follower celebration. I'll be bouncing between Doc fics and reader oc fics bit by bit (though, I can't really stop mid arc for brain reasons, so you'll get part 2 of this fic before I pop back into Asks)

Last head's up: Given my last fics weren't Doc fics, I didn't start this yet, but after today, I'll be reducing my tag list. If folks haven't interacted in some way for a few fics, I'm going to stop tagging you. Because Tumblr just can't do things easily for me, I frequently hand type my entire list, so if yuh want me to take the time to tag you, ya'll have to give me something back so I know I'm not tagging people who've lost interest or aren't even on here anymore. To all my lovelies who silently reblog: I adore you and you can do no wrong in this world! To those of you who frequently comment/chat with me about this crazy little world I accidentally made: I would happily burn the world to see you smile

Warnings: Lots of heavy emotions in this one - angst, guilt, angry, blame, got some profanity in there, and reference to child soldiers kinda

WC: 3,171

There was a rumor that the Kaminoan’s eyes could see colors humans simply couldn’t; that everything from the unblemished armor of shinies to the very reports endlessly updating on their communicators was overlaid with additional data invisible to those deemed a “lesser race.” That rumor left the identical, monotone halls of their cities feeling even more unwelcoming; as though secrets laid all around me, taunting my every step in some undeniable proof that their prejudiced beliefs held a merit I would never be able to fight, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about that anymore.

I roamed those immaculate halls aimlessly, purely for the want of letting myself get lost in them. The need to hide, to flee despite there being nowhere I could run drove me to wander endlessly through the most distant corridors, blindly staring at barracks that had long since been left abandoned as the production of clones lessened with every day that passed. Once, each of the countless rooms around me had been home to cadets too young to understand the horrors awaiting them, and I bleakly wondered how many of those children were now lost to the never-ending demand for sacrifice towards a goal that seemed just as distance now as it had during that very first battle.

I’d nearly walked past him, utterly oblivious to his presence until his helm shifted just enough to catch my attention, and, with a sharp gasp, I was ripped from the illusioned reprieve of my thoughts.

“Kriff!” The curse hissed through clenched teeth, wide eyes locking on the lithe figure leaning silently against the tiny inlet of a doorframe. That silence lingered until my panic withered into that too familiar dread, air catching in my lungs as I stood frozen before him.

“We’re leaving in an hour. Hunter sent you a com.” He stated, and I nearly broke from the chill in his raspy voice.

“I… I haven’t read it, yet…” I finally admitted, jaw stiff. I’d remembered how my heart had dropped at the alert for the incoming message, certain I’d find orders detailing my reassignment lingering within, and I hadn’t been able to bring myself to look. Crosshair said nothing for a long moment, and I had to fight the nervous dance of my fingers. Without another word, he turned and began to walk away, and a new panic overwhelmed me.

“Wait!” I gasped, body stealing a half-step toward him before locking up once more. He paused, but didn’t turn back, and I could feel something on the verge of shattering within me.

“I thought you said you didn’t regret it.” It was quiet, as though whispering those words might hide the hurt in them, and the air fled me in a shuttered exhale.

“I…” My throat locked around that choked word, and I cursed myself for faltering when I so desperately wanted to offer him some hint of reassurance, but I could only stare as his shoulders sank before starting through those sickeningly pristine halls once more.

“Wait…” I begged, voice barely audible, but he didn’t stop, and finally, my body remembered itself. “Wait! Wait, dammit! I don’t regret being with you!” I shouted, racing forward to cut him off. He said nothing as he stared down at me, that emotionless visor offering nothing of the warmth with which he’d looked at me just days prior, and I could feel myself wilt beneath it. Letting out a carefully controlled exhale, I reached up to remove my own helmet, robbing myself of what protection that barrier feigned to lay myself bare before him.

“They… they can’t even look at me, Crosshair…” I whispered, and I could see the dark circles beneath my eyes in the sliver of my reflection, “and I don’t… I don’t know how to deal with that.” I couldn’t breathe as I waited anxiously for some manner of response. When he finally began to move, that need surged anew within me, and I could only watch as his hand slowly reached up to trail lightly along my jaw until his palm rested against my cheek.

“I told you they’d figure it out.” A short scoff escaped me, and I couldn’t keep myself from shifting further into his touch. My lips parted, breath catching with the beginnings of speech, but I felt the words abandon me, too weary to force out a response. Instead, I let myself grasp his hand reverently between both of mine and turned just enough to press my lips firmly against his gloved palm, fingers tightening with a desperation I couldn’t risk giving voice as I listened to the air leave him in a slow sigh. Without a word, he pulled his hand away and wrapped his arms around me. I didn’t hesitate, eagerly pressing myself against him for that familiar comfort of his embrace.

“Every time that damn com went off…” I whispered hiding against the rigid planes of his chest plate as sobs vied to rob even those strained words from me, “I was so sure it was an alert that I’d been reassigned…” and, I couldn’t fight back the tiny hitch of a sob as his arms tightened.

“That’s not going to happen.” A hopeless huff of laughter escaped me, but when he called my name, I found my gaze automatically turning up to his, and I couldn’t bring myself to doubt him. “Just give them some time… Please.” How could I not yield beneath the raw need in his voice? I barely noticed the way my head subtly nodded against him, but that didn’t diminish the truth of the gesture. Of course, I would give them time. I would grant them as long as they needed regardless the way my heart twisted at the mere thought of subjecting myself to the terrible quiet they fell into at the very threat of my presence… I knew I could never leave them… any of them… not unless they told me to… I’d promised.

-

I’d hidden away in those abandoned halls for three days before he’d come to find me. Following him back to the hanger had the same taste as an akk dog being dragged home from the pound, and I couldn’t keep my gaze from studying the metal ramp below as we eventually reached the Marauder. I’d finally glanced at my datapad as we walked and found myself wishing I hadn’t. There were only two lines of text in that initial com: the time of the mission brief, which I’d missed, and the time we were meant to leave, which we only barely made it back by. A subsequent message appeared to summarize that brief, but I didn’t have time to more than open it.

As soon as the ramp locked into place, Crosshair pulled off his helmet and stored it in his gun locker. I started to do the same, but paused at the sudden quiet that stole through him once I’d removed my bucket, fingers absently shifting over the ridge where padding covered the unyielding plastoid. He said nothing as he stepped toward me, but I melted at the first feel of his hand slipping up the back of my neck to just tangle into the base of my hair as his lips pressed against my forehead. He held me like that until the ship began to rise, and then he left, silently disappearing into the cockpit where, I assumed, the rest of his brothers waited.

I knew those little moments of softness were, in part, merely an effort to distract me from the guilt ceaselessly twisting through my chest, but that realization didn’t lessen the warmth they granted me. I’d always believed there was more to him than the snarky, eternally unimpressed persona he so loved to flaunt about, but to find myself the subject of such gentle affection was something I would never weary of.

Finding myself alienated from his brothers, however, was a sorrow that contrasted so starkly with the thrill that lingered after Crosshair’s touch that I was left in a place of violently conflicting wants and regrets each too overwhelming to allow even a moment’s understanding of any one emotion. Part of me wanted to follow him, to plead some ignorance that the easy dynamic we’d fallen into hadn’t been shattered so effortlessly, but I couldn’t.

Images of the detached distance in Hunter’s eyes when he’d last looked at me sent me, instead, to the small kitchenette if only to busy myself with restocking menial items in some useless plight to distract myself. When those heavy footsteps sounded from down the hall, however, I found myself regretting that decision, despite how I loathed the thought of hiding away in the medbay again, but my heart raced at the thought of Wrecker coming to a sharp halt at the doorway, at the awkward silence that would fall as he tried to make some excuse to flee, and the coming devastation that would bring me.

I didn’t turn to him when he stopped just outside, attention carefully turned away from him to grant an easier escape, but he didn’t move. After a few tense seconds, I glanced hesitantly toward him, and found myself frozen at the quiet in those mismatched eyes as he looked at me.

“I was worried you weren’t coming back.” He murmured, and I had to turn away for a moment, lungs straining to draw in a steady breath before I could answer him.

“I was worried you might not want me to.” His broad shoulders dropped, automatically taking several steps nearer to me before catching himself.

“Of course, we do!” He said quickly, voice vainly forced into something of a hushed whisper. “It’s just… it’s hard, I guess… different… but that don’t mean we don’t want you around! Just… gotta figure out how everything fits, now, I guess…” Relief and turmoil warred through me as he stammered to explain, and I had to catch my lip between my teeth at the question that followed. “Is that why you stayed away?”

“I think… I think I was trying to figure out how things fit, too…” I answered, stumbling over the same inadequacy of spoken word to touch on the chaos and doubt that led me to wander those abandoned halls.

“… Crosshair… he makes you happy?” He asked suddenly, and my gaze instantly darted back up to find his focus staring blindly toward the too-small table meant to house half the number we’d so often crammed around it.

“… yeah… he does” I hated the hesitation in my voice, and found myself wanting to say more; to offer some promise that… that what? That it wasn’t that Wrecker didn’t make me happy? That the whirlwind of emotions storming relentlessly through me was so devastatingly confusing that I couldn’t begin to sort through them? That I had to bite my tongue to keep from begging him not to hate me? Trapped in that indecision, I allowed myself to say nothing at all, and his response nearly brought me to tears.

“That’s good.” There was still a subtle edge of sorrow in his voice, but I couldn’t doubt the sincerity of his words, which made them all the more painful to hear. “Things have been… hard lately - guess they always are, but… you and Cross… Yuh both needed something to be happy about. So, I’m happy for yuh… Just… sorry it took me a while to figure that out.”

My breath fled me in a broken sigh, and I instantly threw myself toward him, arms locking around his shoulders as my face hid against his neck. I felt him automatically move to return the embrace before freezing, body tense.

“Uh… is…” He stammered hesitantly. “Is it, yuh know… okay for me to-to hug yuh?” The laughter that escaped me sounded too akin to a sob, and I held him even tighter for it.

“Of course, it’s okay for you to hug me.” I said, voice dropping back into a whisper lest the words break, and some of that crippling weight finally slipped from my shoulders as he readily locked me against him.

“You look at the briefing, yet?” He asked after I finally released him, and I couldn’t help but notice the trace of tension hidden beneath that boisterous excitement.

“Not yet,” I replied, watching him carefully though I tried to keep the hesitation from my voice, “I was planning to read over it tonight. What’s the mission?”

“Just stealin’ files off’a some fancy database, but after I get to blow the whole thing up so they can’t figure out what we took!” There was an overzealousness to his too-quick response, a nervousness that I doubted many others would note, but I knew him, and, when I reached for my datapad to finally look through the message, I wasn’t surprised to hear the way his breath caught slightly in his throat. It took only a brief glance to understand why, and whatever traces of guilt within me went silent beneath my sudden rage.

“Hunter!” I shouted, already storming around Wrecker, blind to the way his face pulled into a barely restrained cringe. Two data ports needed to be spliced simultaneously at opposite sides of a large compound on an isolated world recently lost to Separatist forces. Crosshair was being dropped off on a nearby cliffside to provide cover and report troop movement, while Wrecker would begin placing munitions strategically throughout the facility. Hunter and Tech would infiltrate the northern port, and Echo the southern one nearest Crosshair’s position. Meanwhile, I was meant to remain on the Marauder as “backup”.

“What the kriff is this?!” I snapped. He was just cresting the cockpit ladder as I approached with my datapad clutched in my hand.

“If you’d been at the briefing, you wouldn’t be asking that.” He retorted, arms crossing over his chest as he stared down at me.

“Oh kriff you, Hunter!” I snarled, numb to the hurt I knew I should have felt at the feigned impatience in those eyes. His brow twitched briefly together, but he offered no further response. “You’re leaving Echo practically defenseless!”

“Echo is an arc trooper. He’s more than capable of taking care of himself.” He replied blankly.

“Not when he’s plugged in!” My words reverberated slightly against the metal walls, and some part of me wanted to feel guilty for how his sensitive hearing surely ached because of it, but I couldn’t stop myself. “The instant he’s connected, his reaction time-”

“Is still better than yours.” He interrupted harshly. My jaw snapped shut, heart pounding against my chest as he began walking toward me, movements slowed beneath a purposeful intent, exhibiting every ounce of the intimidating, elite soldier he’d been painstakingly created to encompass, but my anger, my dread that something would happen, that his benching me might cost his life or the life of one of his brothers forbade me from yielding, from feeling even a whisper of fear as I stared him down.

“Until we figure this out, you’re a liability. I can’t have them distracted out there in the middle of a mission just because you don’t want to feel left out.” He continued, voice sharp, and I wanted to spit at the word ‘they,’ balking at the vain implication that he’d managed to convince any one of us that he was somehow unaffected. “Unless you want to go running off somewhere again, we can try to figure this out after, but we’re set to land in four hours, and I’m not spending that time playing mediator when we need to be focused on not getting killed.”

Later, the silence that fell between us would break me. Later, I would remember the way my hands clenched into fists as I glared at the man before me with an animosity that, just days prior, I would have thought impossible. Later, I would remember that I was to blame for the crippling discordance that so effortlessly brought our unbreakable family to ruin. In that moment, however, I wanted to hurt him for all the ways I was hurting, and I hated myself for it.

“This is a mistake, Hunter.” The words left in a strained growl, teeth clacking as my jaw snapped around his name. “You know that… and it’s going get one of them killed.” His lips tensed with the beginnings of a scowl just as his attention shifted ever so slightly behind him.

I couldn’t hear what was said, but I held no doubt that that was the intent, that one of his brothers had murmured some warning or plea before he could offer whatever justifiably harsh retort lay seething atop his tongue, and I was glad I couldn’t hear them. If it was Crosshair, would I have lashed out against his attempt to protect me? If I’d heard Tech recant some psychological study dismissing my concerns in favor of Hunter’s logic, would I have yelled at him with that same vehemence? Or if Echo… I couldn’t… I couldn’t do this… I couldn’t breathe beneath the sudden certainty that I was alone in that moment… that I had no one to turn to as my thoughts cascaded into a darkness I feared would consume me.

Gaze falling to metal flooring forever stained with oil and grime and far too much blood as my chest tightened into a vise around my heart, I found myself frozen for a mere second longer before turning away from him. He made no effort to stop me. I didn’t think I could have stopped even if he had. I needed to think… no… I needed to run; to hide… I needed to escape the unspoken accusation in his eyes. I needed to escape the nightmare of my own thoughts berating me for each word that fell so thoughtlessly from my lips, the terror that Hunter was right, that I’d turned myself into the deadly distraction I’d so feared becoming all those months back. I needed to escape this faltering reality as the consequences of my own actions threatened to rip my very sense of self from hands I still couldn’t manage to unclench.

It wasn’t until hearing the quiet beep of the medbay’s door denying entry that I even realized I’d locked it behind me, and I instantly knew who stood just beyond that wall of chilled metal. Wrecker would have called out, and I doubted the others were quite ready to speak to me directly yet. I knew it was Crosshair; knew that he stood there waiting to see if I’d yield, but the seconds turned into minutes, and I made no effort to haul myself from where I sat tucked against the corner, fingers tangled into my hair as I merely let myself hurt beneath the weight of everything I’d lost, everything it felt like I was still losing. I heard his fist fall lightly against the door just once before, after a final moment of denial, treading slowly back down the hall.

Look at this adorable FANART!!! - Thank you so much @mythical-illustrator!!

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[livelovesimallways]

"Such A Thing"....Pt. 2

(Previous)

*after talking for a while* "As you can see, even though every experience is different, the willingness to meet and share aspects of their lives is what truly helps both parties. And again, you are the parents so you ultimately decide the route you want to take. We just strongly encourage openness as it helps adoptees cope. So if you have anymore questions, please don't hesitate to ask."

"I do have one...How was your experience reconnecting with your son?"

"Umm..." *lets out a deep sigh* "It was tough for both of us. If I could go back, I would have never chosen for it to be closed. I believe that's what hurt him the most. It fueled that feeling of abandonment and caused the question of why?"

"Wow, that hits close to home.” *shakes his head* “I get it now.”

*attempts to look sympathetic* “So your family never told you why she had to leave?"

"Nope. I don't know anything about her. Not even her name. It's interesting that you said she had to, I always assumed she just left. I guess this line of work changes the way you think."

"It does. Plus, these decisions don't come lightly. It didn't for me." *gets interrupted by a knock on the door*

"Hey guys, sorry to interrupt. I'm just checking in. Moses your wife had a list of questions. I'm sure I was being interviewed." *laughing* "So did Moriah help or?..."

"She definitely did."

"Oh good. I hope she told you all about her son as well. Their story is just so touching. She even has pictures from when he was a newborn until about three months old. Why don't you show him?"

“I’d rather not. Today was pretty heavy.”

“I happen to think it would help.” *stares at her* “You show everyone that comes through these doors. It’s always appreciated.”

“Okay.” *looks nervous as shit*

*Moses' silence speaks volumes*

"I can explain. Please let me explain. Janice can you give us a second?” *pleading*

*puts the picture down* "You should vet your employees more thoroughly. That baby she's holding…. is me. I have a similar one with just my father...Same outfit, same blanket, same balloons, same room."

"What???" *in shock* "Is he saying you're his birth mother?"

"Yes...but I can explain."

"Explain???" *turns to Moses* "I am so sorry for this, Mr. Muse. If I had any inclination, I would've..."

"Oh that's bullshit!" *cuts her off* "I told you there was a conflict of interest and you still pushed!"

"You're his damn birth mother! Nobody would ever assume that's what you meant! Then after that, you lied! You've been lying...for years!"

"I only lied to help other families. People tend to be more open when they can relate. I didn't hurt or hinder, it only made things better. No one would've ever expected him to come through these doors." *looks at Moses* "I am so sorry. I know you probably have questions. I really thought your family would have at least let you know something. I didn't want to leave, but my life at the time was very unstable. It was no place for a fifteen year old let alone a baby. I knew you would be safe with your dad, so when I was forced to move hours away, I left you with him. The next few years I thought of trying to reach out, but before I knew it, I was pregnant again. Miles died and I didn't want to complicate your life anymore so, I stopped. And look how you turned out? You have the life of your dreams."

"What about your family, Do they...?"

"My husband does but my children?...Absolutely not. Just like with you, it would've complicated things. Even with them being adults now."

"I guess you carved out a nice life for yourself as well." *smirking to hold back rage* "Well, look, I'm sure my wife is wondering what's taking so long." *gets up* "I'm gonna head out. We won't be coming back so you two take care."

To Be Continued........

[elfdragon12]

Could you imagine Tracks showing Raoul his spark first time, there’s a sense of intimacy and trust that is so beautiful.

Like, would there be hesitantion on Raoul’s side as he was told that showing one’s sparks is a very vulnerable moment for a bot and Tracks willingly showed his.

I could! TTATT Ugh! I love spark intimacy!! (There's also a spicy fanfic on AO3 with a similar premise, but this is such a good topic!)

Here's a little something! ------ Tracks had his processor made up! Well, in all honesty, it had been made up at least two weeks ago. However, there always seemed to be something that interrupted him just before he was ready or the moment just didn't seem quite right. Hardly anyone would call him shy or hesitant. Quite the opposite, really.

Showing someone else his spark was another matter entirely, especially to someone of another species like Raoul.

The universe seemed to smiling on him for once on this particular evening.

Sparkplug Witwicky was leaving the garage he and the Autobots used in New York City and was allowing Tracks and Raoul to close up for the night. He teased them about not getting into any trouble before leaving the garage. Raoul had replied about not making any promises.

They were all alone.

Now the car bays were clear, the tools all organized, and the space just about all tidied up. There wouldn't be much more time before they shut off the lights and he needed to take the young man home for the evening.

Tracks cleared his vocalizer--perhaps not one of the better habits he picked up on this planet--and spoke. "Raoul, before we leave, I need to speak to you about something."

"Sure thing, man." Raoul grabbed his leather jacket, draping it over his arm before he turned those wonderful dark eyes up. "I thought you'd been a bit quiet today. What's up?"

"Sharp as always," he said with a little smile. This is what he loved about the little human, always so insightful and quick. He settled down on his knees. For something like this, they should be face to face or close enough, in their case. "This is something that's been on my processor for a while now, Raoul. We've been dating for a while now."

Raoul's eyes were watching Tracks. He kept his face neutral, but Tracks could see his brows furrow just the littlest bit. "Yeah, Tracks," he drew the word out, uncertainty leaking into his tone, "we've been having a pretty good time, right? We spend a lot of time together, I polish your hubcaps real shiny, you fly me over the city, and I think we got a lot of chemistry." Strands of his dark hair shifted across his headband as he tilted his head. "Unless I'm not reading things right."

"Oh!" Tracks's hand shot to his chest in surprise. Oh! This was not quite going how he'd hoped! "You are reading things right! I adore our time together, Raoul! You are a wonderful human and I have never been more grateful to have damaged my finish than the day I met you!" In an attempt to be closer, Tracks adjusted his position and sat down. "You have brought me more joy than anyone I've ever met. That's why-" He cut himself off. This was it. This was the moment. "That's why I would like to bare my spark to you!"

There was a little "thwump" as Raoul's jacket hit the ground. His jaw dropped as he stared up at Tracks with wide eyes.

"Raoul?"

He leaned forward, his feet inching him forward in hesitance. "R-really? You want to bare your spark? To me?" His eyes never left Tracks's face. "Your spark is your soul."

"So you are paying attention to Ratchet's lessons," Tracks teased. From the way Raoul's face shifted from wide shock to that exasperated half-smile, it worked exactly how he'd hoped. "But yes, Raoul. My spark is my soul. When we feel strongly towards another person, we share the light of our sparks with them." His optics turned down to look at his servo. It was large and metal, so much different from the small and fleshy hand of Raoul's. How had he could to feel so close with someone so different? "You may not be able to bare your-your heart to me in the same way, but I want to bare my spark to you. To share it with you in a way that I would with no one else. To show you how bright you make my spark burn."

"Tracks-" Raoul's voice was barely a whisper. No words escaped him as he stepped closer and closer until their hands touched. "Tracks, we've been through a lot together. That day, I thought I hit the jackpot with a fancy looking car I could fix up and ship out, but-" He paused. "But I met you instead. It's been a crazy and wild ride and I wouldn't do it with anyone else." His hand slipped further to rest in the giant metal palm. "Tracks, I'd be honored to see your spark."

Relief and elation was a heady cocktail in Tracks's circuits. The controls for his spark casing activated before his processor could even think of anything to say.

However, as the light of his spark washed over Raoul's face, he thought perhaps that this was moment that needed nothing more.

[watercolor-hearts]

“never figured you for this much of a cuddler.” and “i never noticed how good of a hugger you are before.” with Simi?

I feel like I only have like one Simi story that doesn't have a hug or cuddle in it. 😃 (Not that I'm complaining, I live for hugs and cuddles. ❤)

Seb/Kimi • 500 words • mentions of a crash • hurt/comfort • fluff • hugs • cuddling • Ao3 link

-

Kimi didn't see the crash but his heart dropped when his engineer told him it was Sebastian.

Please let him be okay. Please.

“Is he out of the car?” Kimi asked, on his way to the pits.

“Yes,” his engineer replied, “he's safe now and is on the way to the medical center.”

Kimi let out a relieved sigh after hearing the positive news. He was hoping Seb didn't have any injuries. The track conditions weren't the most ideal for racing but also weren't bad enough not to race. This was when any small mistake could result in losing control over the car and ending up in the barriers. And if you're lucky, it's only the barriers and not other cars hitting you as well.

When the drivers got back to the pits, the race control delayed the restart because the rain had intensified and the visibility wouldn't have been good enough to let them go on the track again after the stewards cleared the track.

When Kimi got out of the car the first thing he did was to watch the replay of Seb's crash.

“Fuck,” he swore, seeing how big the crash was. He was surprised Seb has climbed out of the car by himself after an impact seemed so big. “Do we know anything about Seb yet?”

“The doctor's checking him on,” came the answer from one of the team members, “He said he was a bit dizzy but fortunately nothing else. He should be back soon if they clear him and don't send him to the hospital for further checkups.”

***

“I'm sorry, everyone” was what made Kimi come back from zoning out while waiting for Seb and the restart. Seb was back and he seemed okay. Kimi waited for him to finish talking with some team members before calling him over where nobody could see them and hugging him as strongly as never before.

“I'm okay,” Seb murmured into Kimi's neck, surprised by not feeling the hug loosen, even though Kimi isn't the person of long hugs, “no need to worry about me. I'm a tough one.”

“I'm worried about you all the time.”

“I never noticed how good of a hugger you are before,” Seb said, resting his head on Kimi's shoulder.

“I wanna keep you safe.”

***

“Never figured you for this much of a cuddler,” Kimi said while massaging Seb's scalp as the other was lying on top of him, not thinking about letting him go anytime soon. He needed a cuddling session after today's race. It wasn't a nice and safe one, he just wanted it to end without any more crashes.

“You're perfect for cuddling. Soft and warm and everything,” Seb murmured, and looked at Kimi, smiling, “Also, your hands are amazing.”

“You're the only one I'll ever let cuddle me.”

“Then I'm a special one,” Seb smiled, satisfied, and put his head back on Kimi's chest and then closed his eyes as the massage continued.

He was, indeed, a special one.

[matcha-green-bear]

✩pt.1: I told the moon about you

✩ paring: celestial!Seonghwa x f!reader

✩ genre: Hwa moon au, fluff, romance, strangers to lovers

✩ summery: At the end of the day, all she has is books, music, and her letters to the moon. Someday someone will bring the moon down for her in the shape of their love. . . .who knew it would've been the moon himself.

✩ warnings: cheesy romance, suggestive, mentions of loss (mc lost a family member and talks about it), sad themes, Seonghwa flirting👀😂, very cheesy flirting🤭

✩ wordcount: 835

✩ taglist: @justaaveragereader ​, @marievllr-abg ​, @owlmylove ​, @hwaightme ​, @layzfeelit ​, @bae4choi​, @jackinmyarea

✩ a/n: Taglist is open! Just shoot me an ask!💚 This chapter was cute!! akjnrgk especially when mc and Hwa meet🥹 Man they were so cute😭🤭 Had me giggling while I was writing it!! Ooh also did you know that it takes 27 days, 7 hours, and 43 minutes for our Moon to complete one full orbit around Earth!

   "You know if you do this, you'll never be able to return, right?" He looked into his friend's eyes worryingly, "Yes, I'm fully aware of the consequences, but that's why I'm appointing you to take over. Joong, I've never felt this strongly in my entire existence. She speaks to me like I am who I am, not the big space rock everyone sees in the sky. I know she doesn't know, but this yearning feeling will never go away and continues to pull at my heart. Even if all we become are acquaintances, being so close will be enough for me." Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa. He didn't understand what Hwa felt, but what he does know is that he has never seen Seonghwa, so passion filled. Hwa truly fell in love with a silly human who talks to the moon, not even one of those humans that other humans deem 'important.' Deep down, he knew this would ultimately make Hwa happy. "Seonghwa I'll grant you your wish but grant me mine and just visit for each night till the next full moon and when seeing or meeting her in person, you still feel the feeling you say, and they do not diminish even a little! Then and only then will I give you a human life." Seonghwa was so happy he could barely contain his excitement, but before he could do anything, it was like Hongjoong read his mind. "Eh, don't even think about thanking me. Please, let's just see how the visits go, Hwa."

   You sat on your windowsill, window open, letting the crisp autumn air engulf you, bringing you at ease. You sighed, looking at the moon. "You know I miss her and her warmth, her presence, her fragrance when enveloped by absence, I miss her. Today, I miss her just like I did yesterday, and I will miss her tomorrow just the same. She loved you as much as I do, you know. She taught me all about your phases and the constellations." "She sounds truly wonderful." Taken aback by the sudden voice you look down to see a man standing in the moonlight, he was ethereal, blonde hair moving with the light breeze. A stranger, yes, but you felt at ease being higher up and basically in your home. "She was more than wonderful. She was so much more." You weren't even looking at the man anymore as you spoke. The night sky had your full attention.

   "Do you talk to him often?" Confused by his question, you looked down at him. He seemed you find your confused state amusing. The man chuckled and looked up at the sky, looking at the moon. "You know the saying, 'the man in the moon' that's what I meant by him." He was amusing to you as well. His silly quip had you smiling down at him. “Funny enough, and you'll probably find this strange, but I do talk to him often, every night, really. Helps me when I'm feeling down." Oddly what you said brought a smile to his face. "I find that endearing really, it's like the moon is a comfort for you and you confide in the moon with your troubles, right?" Laughing, you replied through giggles. “Now you sound like a therapist trying to chip at my walls to make me talk and open up about said troubles!" His face turned serious, and he looked into your eyes "Mmm I'm not here to break down your walls, I'm here to turn them into something beautiful that you are proud of, your walls make you, you."

   This made you blush hard. Who was this man? "Now I don't think Therapists are supposed to flirt with their patients." "Well thank goodness, I am not your therapist, so therefore flirting with you is allowed as long as you like it." You didn't know how to describe it but talking with him hit you with a wave of love so comfortable and deep that you felt like you've already loved this person for thousands of years. "I do like it, well not 'man in the moon', what do I call thee!?" He bowed, going along with your sudden change to Shakespearean language. "Thee fair maiden shall calleth me Seonghwa, what is thy nameth?" Full on holding your stomach from laughing so much, your wipe a tear away. "My good Seonghwa, thee can calleth me y/n!" Seonghwa is also laughing "Well y/n, parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow, I shall seeth thee again." "Adieu! When we do meet again, why, we shall smile!" He walked into the moonlight more, you turned around to get up but when you turned back to watch him go, he was already gone. Tired from the day you closed and locked your window and slipped into bed. Saying one last goodnight before you fell asleep. "I told the moon some more about you, and I met someone too! I love and miss you endlessly, goodnight, Mom."

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✩ a/n: I swear Hwa and mc talking in shakespearean🥺 still makes me smile, like look at them being little goofballs🤭💛 Mmm I wonder what Hongjoong will say🤔 ig we will find out in the next chapter!!!!😘 Also some of mc and Hwa's lines were inspired by two Shakespeare plays, can you name them🤔

@matcha-green-bear / / do not repost or modify

[jessicanjpa]

Twilight Advent Calendar 2023 Event

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Dec. 7 - Choose one Twilight couple (or an AU ship) and tell us about an argument they've had. How did they resolve it in the end?

I was hoping to write something new for today, but I Am Tired. So I'm going to poach a scene from SST, chapter 18, which takes place during World War II. This is the AU Volturi!Jasper fic, so Alice is having an extra bad day, but the Cullens are still in Sweden so the C/E argument is canon.

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1942

United States

Alice POV

"No... no!"

I moaned in despair when my eyes opened and I found my fingers clenched around the broken shoulders of a human. It was a young man in a camouflage jacket with a big splash of blood soaking the front of it. I licked my lips without even thinking about it, unable to stop the shiver of pleasure that coursed through me at the heavenly taste.

Oh, what did it matter, anyway? He was already dead. Why did anything matter? I bent down for more, gulping the last dredges of hot blood, lapping up the little bit that had spilled down the side of his neck. He ran dry all too quickly. I shook the body in desperation, trying again to get another ounce of blood out of his ruined throat. I finally snapped out of it and lay my victim gently back down on the cold grass. I sat beside him in a tight ball, resting my chin on my drawn-up knees.

I didn't even remember how I had gotten here. I had burst out of the cabin when that horrid vision had struck, and I had run and run... I didn't know where I was. Not that it mattered. I didn't really have anything at the cabin worth going back to.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, looking with pity at the young man whose life I had just ended. Jasper might be doing his best to ruin both our futures, but that didn't give me the right to ruin someone else's. To end someone else... I hugged around my ribs as tight as I could, gasping deep breaths, wishing that Esme were here to comfort me. That Carlisle were here to forgive me. Emmett would tell me it was okay. Rosalie would help me clean up, help me clean myself up. Edward would help me focus my visions and go listen to people's minds to make sure we wouldn't need to move...

But they were all so far away. I had to do everything myself, as usual. But I just didn't feel like it. I sat back down beside the body. Despite the thrill of new strength that always came when I messed up and drank human blood, my body felt heavy and disjointed. Was this what it felt like when humans were tired? I let myself roll over and lie down. I closed my eyes, desperate to see something besides the corpse beside me.

Jasper wasn't doing anything right now. He was just standing still in his quarters, deep in thought. I switched to Emmett and Rosalie, but quickly pulled away to give them their privacy. That was the last thing I wanted to watch right now. But Edward was at the piano, so I eagerly focused my attention there. I watched him for a while, listening to the soothing music he was trying to compose.

I hummed along once the melody began to take shape, pretending I was perched on the back of the piano. Edward would scold me to get down and I would just stick my tongue out at him and we would laugh about it together. But his ideas about the melody kept changing, and that made the music stop and start constantly in my vision, even when he wasn't changing what his fingers did yet. The notes kept mashing together at the wrong times. I tried to stay with him, but the dissonance was too distracting. In the end, I was more agitated than before.

At least Carlisle and Esme would be there for me. They were always so calm, so kind... but this was not my day. They were actually arguing, something I rarely saw.

"I know that," Esme was saying. "But back then you didn't have a family. And bombs weren't falling back then, either. You were never in any danger before."

"Our whole world is in danger now. You know how strongly I feel about contributing when—"

"Contribute, then! We already gave the proceeds of the house to the Red Cross, and I'm sure we can do far more. What about all that artwork you have stashed away?"

"Esme," Carlisle said quietly. "This is important to me."

Esme crossed her arms tightly across her belly, looking back and forth around the room at nothing. "So you're doing this for yourself."

It took me a little while to figure out what they were arguing about: Carlisle wanted to go down into mainland Europe and find a way to do his doctor work near where the fighting was, and Esme was not having it. I had no idea how old Carlisle was, but it sounded like he had done this before, in other wars. He was telling Esme how much it meant to him to heal lots of humans in times when so many were dying and suffering, how this was often the time when groundbreaking advancements were made in the field of medicine, how sometimes the most beautiful thing about the human spirit was found in the middle of war.

Esme said that if he was going, all of them were going, and Carlisle wasn't having that. Esme also seemed worried that Emmett and Rosalie—and maybe even Edward—might do something reckless if they were anywhere near the war, to which Carlisle insisted that the war was everywhere, to which Esme stubbornly pointed out that he could serve the war effort by replacing doctors who had gone to the front lines, but Carlisle was sure it would be easier to slip under the net identity-wise posing as a civilian doctor helping out in a field hospital, and that was really what he wanted to do anyway. Esme pointed out that real soldiers didn't get to pick where they served. It went on and on.

I hated it when they argued. It was rare; they were usually so gentle with each other. Even the way they were hurting each other now was gentle. But I couldn't stop listening; I needed to know if there was any chance they would be coming back to this continent.

There had been so many times I had wanted to go ahead to the Cullens. Again and again I had decided to do it—to go to them first and then meet Jasper when he was ready. But something always stopped me. Things would look different between Jasper and me in the Family Portrait. Sometimes he wouldn't be in it at all, and Diner Day would be gone. Sometimes I would see us arguing when his eyes were still red. Sometimes I couldn't put my finger on why it was wrong; it just felt wrong. And so every time I decided to let it go and trust my visions... to trust our destiny. Maybe going to the family first would make Jasper feel too intimidated to join us. Maybe he would do it but he would be unhappy. Maybe being with the family meant I would somehow miss my only chance to find him. Waiting was hard, but I wasn't willing to risk our future, or ruin it, just so I could have what I wanted in the present.

But now that future was lost, at least as far as I could see. It felt silly and even cruel to be angry at Jasper, when he couldn't possibly have known what he was giving up, but I was. I had been so lonely, and I had waited so long for him to come to his senses and leave that miserable war, and for what? For him to sign up for the vampire army and leave me here, waiting again? Waiting forever? What was I supposed to do now? For the first time in my life, I hadn't any kind of plan, and it was a frightening new place to be. I had always been able to trust our destiny. Even without ever knowing how many years it was going to take, I had always had that happy ending to hold onto—and it really was a happy beginning, so even the waiting was bearable. What was a decade or two of loneliness compared to an eternity of love and happiness? That future had always felt more real to me than the present anyway.

But now nothing felt real.

A dark thought had been pushing its way into my mind ever since Jasper had gone to Italy. What was real, anyway? My future with Jasper had been the most real thing in my whole life. And in the end, it had been so easily lost, as easily as if the wind had changed direction and it had dissolved in a moment's breeze. It had been that fragile, after all. What else wasn't real, or was no more real than that? How many of my visions weren't going to come true? Were never going to come true in the first place?

It wasn't that I doubted my gift. Little confirmations every day reminded me that I had this unusual power to see things. Thing as small as red tulips around the corner and as big as a second world war. The fact that those visions could change and even disappear didn't mean those futures were any less real, or hadn't been.

But the big ones, the ones that had been dropped into my hands to show me my destiny—Jasper's face the minute I had woken up. Diner Day. The Family Portrait. I had never had any tangible confirmation that those things were real, and yet I always clung to them as if everything else was just a mist of lesser possibilities. What if those visions were lost now because they had never been real in the first place? They hadn't come like my smaller visions had come, based on decisions. Maybe they were so different because... I shook my head, unwilling to think it. But it came anyway: maybe I had needed them to be real. Needed something to believe in.

Were Carlisle and Esme really arguing right now? Were they really in their little blue rented house in Sweden at this moment? Did they even exist... anywhere?

Maybe I was just crazy. I had woken up in a hospital gown, after all. For all I knew, I had lived in a mental asylum all my life. Maybe the fact that some of my visions came true wasn't enough to prove that I hadn't seen exactly what I had needed to see when I had woken up alone and afraid. Maybe I was just remembering a long chain of dreams I had had as a human. Maybe Jasper and my family were just characters in a lovely story I had been telling myself all this time, and the world really was just as cold and gray as it felt now. I didn't think I could face a world like that.

Carlisle and Esme's argument was winding down. They were full of murmured apologies now for some of the things they had said. They clung to each other and decided together that for now, they would do nothing. Then they stopped talking and just held each other. Esme's face was pressed into Carlisle's shoulder and Carlisle laid a slow, tender kiss on her hair...

I realized all at once that I was snuggled up to the corpse, pressing my face into its bloodied shoulder, hugging it tight around the chest. I scrambled away with a whimpering cry, swiping at the half-dried blood that stuck to my face like stubborn tears.

Esme, I thought desperately. You have to be real. I NEED you to be real.

And then I was running.

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(Anyway, Esme won that argument in the end; Carlisle sat out World War II.)

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You can find all of the #twilightadvent23 prompts here!