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mattnben-bennmatt · 2 months

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Ben Affleck's interview w/ Premiere (2000)

Adventures in the Celebrity Trade

In which the author faces a dread beast of epic proportions (his own alter ego), perils that would destroy a lesser man (e.g., worldwide fame), and uncouth fans, all whilst shamelessly promoting his new movie

By Ben Affleck | Photography by Sam Jones

Oscar Winner Affleck talks to himself about the hazards of fame, the art of publicity, and why you should see his new movie.

I'm promoting my movie. in doing so, it is incumbent on me to do an interview for a movie magazine. I've asked the good people at PREMIERE to let me contribute an article rather than be interviewed, in an effort at a little break from the norm. I've run the first draft past the studio whose movie I'm hawking, and they were kind enough to give me some feedback. In general, I believe they found my pithy little attempt at a first-person description of what it's like to actually do publicity and my own idiosyncratic deconstruction of said process mildly amusing. But they had some notes. With those in mind, let me say this: Every man, woman, and child on this earth must drop everything and run to their local multiplex to see Reindeer Games. Well, there might be a title change in the works, so maybe it won't be called Reindeer Games, but pay that no heed! Whatever the marketing folks decide to call the movie, it is absolutely imperative that you see it immediately, two or three times if need be. Watching this movie will make you smarter, more successful, and a (much) better lover. I implore you, for your own sake, pay to see this movie. It is, quite simply, the single greatest dramatic narrative of the modern era.

Now, on to the irrelevant part.

I. A DRIVE-BY

"Affleck, you suck!" was all I made out as a full can of beer sailed by, inches from my head. I believe that was the precise moment I knew things had changed.

It was a drive-by beer-canning—a little-publicized-but-all-too-real hazard for the working actor in L.A. It was June of 1997, somewhere around midnight. I was coming out of a record store on Sunset Strip, and in retrospect, I guess I should have seen it coming.

I hadn't been subject to public stoning by Budweiser since my high school days, in Boston. I remember thinking that in this new context, it was a fairly artless, albeit effective, form of what in acting class we used to call "a critique of the work." That was the first day it occurred to me that there is a side of fame that might be unpleasant. It was a peculiar induction—one Jason Patric has aptly characterized as "baptism by flashbulb"—to a strange club whose membership requirements are simple: People you've never met, seen, or spoken to develop opinions (occasionally quite negative and almost always judgmental) about you, your work, and whether or not you "suck." Though my holy water was alcoholic and carbonated and gunned at me by strangers, I suddenly had an affinity for how Mr. Patric must have felt.

Before Good Will Hunting and Armageddon, I did quite a few movies, but nobody saw them. In fact, the entertainment press corps in general seemed aggressively disinterested. When I went to Atlanta to promote Chasing Amy, I clearly remember that the few journalists who showed up to interview me seemed bored (with me), dejected (at having such a low-rent assignment), and desperate (during the actual interview) for a reason—any reason—to write anything. Later, the movie became a minor cult hit, and occasionally I would be confronted by a stranger or two (oddly, these interactions also tended to happen in record stores). But instead of berating me, these guys usually wanted to know, "Did you really nail that girl?" "Was she really a dyke?" and "Do you have her number?" While deeply flattering, these rare interactions didn't prepare me in the least for what I was to face down the road.

That night, I wondered if perhaps this was something that even the great ones have had to endure, but I could never quite convince myself that there was some rangy teenager standing outside Brando's house, hectoring the deaf masonry with the likes of "Why'd you pimp Kabuki-style gear in Moreau?!" Surely there is a point at which one is accorded some space, respect, and privacy. I just wasn't there yet.

The gangly kid's harangue at a thespian about his play is a fair confusion of character and actor. But the words and pictures that provoked the beer-flinger were not of a character in a film; they were representations of me in the press-specifically the tabloid press, coverage in which I had taken no part. So I decided to become the captain of my own destiny, or at least of my own image. I decided to stop avoiding or passively enduring press coverage; instead, I would start a conversation with the public by engaging the press, thus having control over the words and images representing me.

This was, to put it mildly, a blunder. I had underrated the forces at play in the creation of celebrity media and overrated my own ability to withstand and control them. As if that weren't bad enough, I also discovered that I was my own worst enemy.

It wasn't until my third or fourth interview was published that I began to suspect something. I would run into people who know me fairly well (like my mom) and they'd fix me with an uncertain and dubious stare. I began to anticipate the inevitable: "I read your thing in [insert name of rag here] . . ." Then their voices would trail off. I knew the sentiment. I'd experienced it before. Earlier in my career I'd get that. People would say, "Hey, I saw Phantoms. . . ." Though I understood the comment in the context of a movie where I played a sheriff in Colorado battling an ill-defined but vaguely menacing sewer monster, I didn't see the connection with the interviews. But when I asked my girlfriend what she thought about the mixed reviews I seemed to be getting, she let me have it. "I don't even recognize that person." "Who?" I lamely asked. "The guy in that interview, in any of your interviews . . . Interview Guy."

Sonofabitch. Interview Guy.

What I found when I read back over my own inanities was as phony a frat-boy-chucklehead as you're ever likely to encounter—and someone who, I hope, bears little resemblance to the guy typing out these words. Somehow I'd inadvertently given birth to a monster. Interview Guy liked to come off as a cross between a pseudo-intellectual college sophomore who'd just read his first chapter of Proust, a drunken motorcycle fanatic, and an all-around, aw-shucks-can-you-believe-I'm-just-a-regular-Joe ham bone.

The idea here is to set this gruesome record straight. I'll bring Interview Guy face-to-face with myself. The transparent difference will dissolve Interview Guy; the remaining image will be me. Either that or it'll be another in a long series of publicity disasters. At this point, I don't have much to lose.

II. INTERVIEW GUY

INT. MY HOUSE-DAY: INTERVIEW GUY, 27, bearing a striking resemblance to Ben Affleck, but wearing Prada stretch plastic trousers, comes running into the room with a beer. He does a handstand, slams his beer, and slouches into the sofa. Ben Affleck, a.k.a. ACTUAL BEN, sits across from him. Actual Ben is not nearly as good-looking as Interview Guy and seems a little taken aback.

INTERVIEW GUY: I take Viagra and I think the kids should try it at home, the little ones! [Interview Guy runs around the room twice, then heads outside. After a beat, he comes crashing back through the door on a motorcycle. He wipes out.]

INTERVIEW GUY: (Cont'd) [Re: motorcycle] I'll get another one. [Re: nothing in particular] Acting is a journey, right bro?

ACTUAL BEN: Not really. Most of the time it seems like a gigantic press junket, where I talk about my "arc" and decry the invasive nature of the press in my life—then go and have my woes translated into Korean and beamed via satellite to Asia. [A beat]

[There is another awkward beat.]

ACTUAL BEN: (Cont'd) Are you unable to smile or behave normally when having your picture taken? I mean, do you have a particular aversion to looking normal, or are you satisfying some innate urge to look like an idiot?

INTERVIEW GUY: Hey, man, I'm just a regl'r guy who likes to have fun-

ACTUAL BEN: Also, in your photographs you seem to clench your jaw, squint your eyes, and suck in your cheeks. Is something wrong with you physically? Do you have TMJ?

INTERVIEW GUY: [Flushing red] I . . . That's my strong, leading-man jawline and laser intensity coming through. . . . I can't help that! That's not on purpose. . . .

ACTUAL BEN: This isn't going anywhere; let's go to the questions. . . .

[Ed Note: During this segment of the interview, both Interview Guy and Actual Ben have agreed to answer a list of prepared questions. A tape recorder was placed in the room, and the following is a verbatim transcript of their answers.]

QUESTION: What is your favorite magazine?

INTERVIEW GUY: Maxim . . . no PREMIERE! This is for PREMIERE, right?

ACTUAL BEN: I don't have a favorite.

QUESTION: Who is your favorite actor?

INTERVIEW GUY: Arnold, Sly, your mom . . . just playin', guy. . . .

ACTUAL BEN: Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington, Benicio Del Toro, Sean Penn, Meryl Streep, Cole Hauser, Casey Affleck, Jay Lacopo, Vince Vaughn, Joaquin Phoenix, Don Cheadle, the brothers Wilson, Ed Norton, Nicolas Cage, Robert De Niro, Marlon Brando, Zeljko Ivanek, Dennis Franz, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi, Frances McDormand—there are really a ton of actors I think are great and whom I admire. And I honestly believe after seeing The Talented Mr. Ripley and All the Pretty Horses that Matt Damon is one of, if not the, finest young actor around.

INTERVIEW GUY: That Ripley thing, that's a gay picture, right?

ACTUAL BEN: Well, no, it's not. . . .

QUESTION: In the wake of the massacre at Columbine High School, there has been greater scrutiny on the level of senseless and gratuitous violence in movies. What role do you think movie violence plays in influencing real people, and what is the responsibility of filmmakers and actors?

INTERVIEW GUY: I'm so sick of that question. Some idiot kid who played too much Mortal Kombat and can't get a girlfriend decides to shoot up his school . . . that's not Sylvester Stallone's fault for making Cobra. The guy was trying to make a kickass Marion Cobretti biker picture. Forget about teaching masturbation in schools; they ought to hand out twenty bucks and a map to Korea town. You get yourself a little massage-parloring down there, you feel a lot less inclined to blow up your lunchroom!

ACTUAL BEN: I disagree.

INTERVIEW GUY: 'Course you disagree; you smoke cock.

ACTUAL BEN: No, I don't "smoke cock," I just think there is some responsibility to be had by those of us who have some impact over the content of movies and how violence is presented. Doubtless, there is blame aplenty to go around. But the exploitation of mindless violence for the sake of titillation, without any attention paid to the genuine trauma that real violence does cause, is irresponsible.

QUESTION: What qualities and/or attributes do you find attractive in a woman? What would your "ideal woman" be like?

ACTUAL BEN: I can't say I have any one "type." I have dated and been attracted to all kinds of women. I tend to be able to look past first impressions and am usually attracted to a woman whom I like and want to be around. No matter how "hot" some woman is, I'd find her very unattractive if I couldn't stand to have a conversation with her.

INTERVIEW GUY: You done, Jake-O? Okay. That's bullshit. Everybody goes by appearances. I got nothing against the homely broad, I just don't care to give her a jump, you follow me? As far as what type of chick I most like, I'd say I'm your basic, red-blooded, Claudia Schiffer-Pam Anderson type of guy. And, you know, her beaver doesn't have to be shaved but . . . I don't mind it!

[Ed. Note: There is a five-minute segment of the tape where Interview Guy runs around the room, high-fiving no one in particular and repeating porn dialogue to the tune of the theme song from Martin. Finally, he cracks open a beer and sits back down.]

QUESTION: Are movies important?

INTERVIEW GUY: I think they can be. You go see Anaconda and you know you can't take a river trip with Owen Wilson, a rapper, and the guy from Deliverance, 'cause it's gonna end badly. So that's a public-health message, in a way. Fuck, come to think of it, that was the second bad rafting experience for Jon Voight. There's a fucker you really don't want on your Outward Bound crew. . . .

ACTUAL BEN: No.

QUESTION: Can you define your relationship with Gwyneth Paltrow?

INTERVIEW GUY: Well, she's my friend. She's very smart, very sweet, really just a good, decent person, and someone I both respect and admire. She's also a dynamite actress. As it happens, we just did a movie together called Bounce, which will be out in summer 2000 at a theater near you.

[Ed. Note: At this point there is a second lengthy pause on the tape and sounds of a struggle. Then nothing. It's the Blair Witch of Books on Tape. . . .]

III. BEING SEAN PENN

There's a reason that the National Enquirer has the highest circulation of any paper in the country. People like it. And people like it because, despite what most actors tend to imagine the general public is fascinated by (i.e., every subtlety and nuance of their latest performance), it concerns that very thing that drives most people to the movies in the first place: sex. And not just sex but gossip-who is having it with whom, who's been jilted, who gets the kids, who's getting above their station, who threw a fit on their show and fired a bunch of people. All of it. The movie business has become a kind of ongoing soap opera. The same characters move from one story to another, augmented by bits of background titillation from newspapers and magazines, and people go to see how the latest installment in the Schwarzenegger serial will turn out. Therefore, it should be no surprise to actors that their private lives seem inexorably entwined with whatever perception people have of their performances, and vice versa. In fact, that gossip, that tabloid fodder, is an organic part of the perceptions people have when they go to the movies.

The majority of famous actors are not famous because of roles they've played. The random passerby, when asked, will tell you they've heard of a particular actor but will have difficulty naming more than one or two movies he's been in. What people do see, far more than the movies, are the television shows and magazines in which actors promote their films. This creates a strange dynamic, where celebrity becomes the goal, publicity the means, and the actual work takes a distant backseat.

If one takes for granted that the goal of an actor is to assume the identity of another person, then doing publicity as oneself seems absolutely the wrong thing to do. The less people know about you, the less apt they are to project some preconception onto your performance. There are actors who seem to understand this conundrum and have managed to deal with it in a sensible way.

There are powerful forces at work that compel an actor, after appearing in a movie or two, to whore out every last detail of their gonorrhea treatments, incestuous experiments with grandma, shock therapy, and the time they had one too many and got a five-dollar hand job in T.J. And later the same bunch that threw you to the press will tell you not to give so much away. You can't win.

So what, then, is the lesson? I really don't know. You can lie to the press (my brother, Casey, once told Interview magazine that he had a Ph.D. in eugenics from Columbia), you can bullshit a little (whereupon your friends from home tell you you've changed and you're full of shit, and you're mom is ashamed of you), you can go ahead and talk about the "touching game" you played with Uncle Ted (and then your mom really is ashamed of you). Or you can go the route of the dignified and be Sean Penn. Just watch out for the backlash—it gets ugly.

Whenever I've run this theory past the cocktail-party crowd, the response is always a Pollyannaish "What's wrong with the truth?" Or "Just be yourself!" Now, while that may be sound and novel advice, in this case it misses the mark, for two reasons. First, after you've had to distort and misrepresent yourself for every producer in town (e.g., like the time you had to pluck every emotional chord you've got to muster up some semblance of passion for your Beverly Hills 90210 crying-scene audition), you hardly know who or what the real you is anymore. Second, no one really wants to "be themselves" in public. We are reluctant to expose ourselves even to friends, much less to a jaded public with an eye for scandal and an unquenchable thirst for hubris and its attendant fall. So I, like every other sensible person thrust into (or thrusting themselves toward) the glare of the public eye, tried to project an improved version of myself. Big mistake.

Before anyone imagines that this is some kind of lamentation of a great evil in the world, let me say this: Any actor who has had any success whatsoever ought to count his lucky stars that he turns over enough bread for the Enquirer to even consider including him on the "worst dressed" list. Clearly, successful actors (and particularly those who, even for a fleeting moment, are anointed "movie stars") enjoy wealth, power, and privilege wildly beyond their station. We should take what we get and like it—I don't contest that. I do, however, find the situation of "promoting" myself and my movies curious and contradictory.

But in the end, it is probably not worth deconstructing. It's a pretty straightforward thing: Talk to somebody, brag on your movie some, and hope that a few more people go to see it because they're intrigued with what they've read. And, hey, maybe they've gotten to know the actor a little better. In that spirit, let me end where I began: Who I am, and why you should see my movie.

I'm somebody who probably has too many mirrors in his house, but doesn't much like what he sees when he looks into them. I try to be generous, try to be kind, and try to remember how lucky I've been, but I've been known to fall short in all three regards. As far as fame and fortune go, I generally believe one should understand that none of it is deserved, but try to take as much advantage of it as one can in good conscience. I like quiet and the idea of rest, but can't seem to stop moving. I like people (as someone once said), but I hate gatherings. I try to expose myself to diversity, change, and new experiences, but when alone in my car, I end up listening to the same song over and over on the CD player. I know that fame and fortune are fleeting (as Matt recently said in GQ, "the phone stopped ringing for better actors than me"), but I can't help hoping that I can do this forever. I believe in the friends and family I've known since childhood, but I've already lost touch with too many. I love company and the security of love, but most days I feel alone. If I had to choose between being held in high regard by those in the movie business or esteemed by those around me whom I admire, respect, and have known through thick and thin, I'll opt for the latter: a life where people still talk to you even if the phone rings only occasionally, and where your friends don't mind if you haven't made it onto the cover of a flashy movie magazine in quite some time. Oh: And go see the movie I made with John Frankenheimer. It's pretty good.

Ben Affleck, actor and Oscar-winning writer (Good Will Hunting), blew his deadline but only misspelled two words in this piece.

#ben affleck #matt damon #chris boldt #casey affleck #reindeer games #chasing amy #the talented mr. ripley #all the pretty horses #on fame #on privacy #their sense of humor #(i love this so much!)#(I love him!!!)#(please read this interview!! it's a fascinating peak into ben's mind at the time!)#interview #premiere #photo #2000 #originals

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emilykaldwen · 10 months

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🌟 I will take whatever you give me. The thought process/deep lore that may not be 100% clear is always a thing I love to see

Misa, I give you all the kisses.

Send me a Star or Camera for Director's Commentary meme

Commentary for Chapter 4 of The Maiden and the Drowning Boy!

Chapters 3 and 4 were originally one chapter! And then I was like 'wow, 12k is too much let me break them up'. (lo and behold, chapter 9 that posted yesterday did, in fact, hit 12k but I want to keep that a rarity). Also, this was one of the pre-written chapters I had done before I started posting the story in July!

Eagle-eyed readers may have noticed that the story was originally marked as a Helaemond side pairing and that was the intention! But while Aemond's ideas came across very clear, when I went in to write Helaena's pov for this scene, I ran into some trouble. She didn't think of Aemond in the same way that Aemond was thinking of her, she was focused on other things. It was absolutely the first major case of a character taking control of the wheel from me. I had been uncertain about the Helaemond plotline for about three/four months by the time I chopped these chapters back in around early june but sort of set it aside and as I started doing my second pass edits in August for these chapters, I really started to realize I had to listen to Helaena.

Does Helaena feel the same for Aemond as he does for her? It's such a complicated thing when it comes to Targaryens. You grow up in a family that has framed your sibling relationships as non-platonic. You grew up with the daring stories of Jaehaerys and Alysanne eloping against their mother's wishes, and the love story of Baelon and Alyssa. For Aemond, it definitely started from a place of wanting to save Helaena from having to marry Aegon (because that betrothal did happen at least for a short period of time). And then you have two kids who are starting to go through puberty, there aren't a lot of other options around, so it definitely got... confused, I think.

I'm a big Helaemond shipper. It's a ship I enjoy even though a lot of the fic is understandably angst-riddled but the more I went into that pairing within the Maiden-verse, I realized that this wasn't a pairing that served either of the characters in the growth journey I wanted.

Helaena loves Aemond, that much I knew, but this was the chapter that really gave me the first inclination that I had to really start looking at my plotline and see what needed to be done.

The reception to this chapter was also so completely and utterly surprising. I knew that I wanted to approach Helaena's show-canon neurodivergency because I think that was a good character choice, but I actively didn't want her to be 'manic prophecy girl' there to just be whimsy and passive. She's a person with feelings, with desires, wit her own hopes and dreams and this is Helaena before the years have broken her down. This is a Helaena who wasn't forced to marry Aegon and bear children at such a traumatically young age. She's just a girl, like anyone else, and it is genuinely so heartwarming and so rewarding to see how many people felt seen by her, and felt the respect I wanted to put into her for the portrayal. I really didn't try anything new. I really just picked a 'how would she deal with being upset?' path and went from there.

It was also really important for me to show the closeness between Helaena and Abby. These two grew up together, cradle to corsets so to speak, and yet even when they're like sisters, I also wanted to frame the inherent separation that's started between them as they've gotten older. As Abby's taken her role as the companion/mistress of keys to Helaena's small household, and how confusing that feels juggling propriety with the person you literally thought of as your sister in the early years of life. I hope it came across.

Lastly, it's where I first laid the seeds of how tied together Aegon and Abby have been.

While Aemond held her with both hands, Abrogail held her with one, Aegon gripping her other hand increasingly stronger with each passing year, claws and teeth and every muscle inside him straining for the soft words and the laughter. With every slap from their mother, every casually harsh comment from their grandfather, every moment that Father ignored them, or worse, called Aegon Baelon, Aegon pulled harder and harder… Helaena did not want to let go, even as her grip was slipping.

It was one of the first thoughts I had for this particular section. Abby is a piece of treasure growing up in the middle of a clutch of Dragons. They all want a piece of her. Aemond wants his friend who understands and he can be nerds with. Helaena wants her sister who protects her from the things she does not want to do. Aegon wants her and has wanted her since they were little, like a coveted toy. While I have to keep reminding myself that I cannot and don't have to jam pack everything into this fic, there are moments I really work on sliding in that I hope do stick with some of my readers and it's totally okay if it doesn't!

Thank you so much for this ask, Misa! I didn't realize how much I had to say about chapter four!!

#fic: the maiden and the drowning boy #this was SO FUN!#I didn't realize I had so much to talk about!#I hope these things all came across in the chapter!

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zeemczed · 2 years

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You know about homestuck? Man I don't wanna sound demanding but I would really to know what you think of a EGS/HS crossover. Because I really like the idea, either the EGS cast dealing with sburb and troll bullshit or the HS cast dealing with magic. Of course if you don't have any that's fine.

I was there DAY ONE. I got into Hussie's stuff vis-a-vis Team Special Olympics and And It Don't Stop, I was reading Problem Sleuth live through the last 500 or so pages, and I was STOKED to see Homestuck start. BUT YEAH I have extensive EGStuck thoughts. FIC IDEAS POST-BREAK.

So I have two ideas, one leaning EGS flavor, the other leaning more Homestuck flavor. The first is THE UNIVERSITY.

Sburbless. The game constructs (IE Sylladexes, Strife Specibi) are a kind of magitek, same as the TF gun. The EGS crew and the kids knew each other via the internet through their formative years (Rose was Ashley's internet girlfriend), and arranged to go to college together at ANDREW HUSSIE UNIVERSITY (home of the Fightin' Weasels!). The trolls landed the year before, refugees of a broken empire that was in its death throes... oh, and they used the same magic. Publicly. Though some forms of transformation (EG bloodcaste alteration) were punishable by death before. The Uryuoms (who ARE interdimensional space aliens, same as the Alternians) had tangential contact with them and were able to sort of guide first contact so it didn't end in immediate war (and the Uryuoms come out of concealment at that point).

The story is mostly a slice of abnormal-life, with Tedd's magic lab trying to get to the core of what makes magic tick, Rose writing treatises on troll culture and how it's adapting to earth, and Karkat inadvertently (or possibly deliberately?!) flirting pitch with Justin (spoiler: they do, and it's messy and weird and awesome).

Other loose ideas for this setting:

Vriska is WAY more comfortable with human culture than troll culture after a very small amount of time. She's part of a small and vocal "fuck Alternia, we're earthling trolls now" movement.

Grace's origin is almost unchanged, BUT they used troll genetics for some of her brothers. Damien had tyrian-based mind control abilities that he used to make the researchers submit to his will.

Terezi decides she's going to be Sarah's friend five seconds after she meets her when Sarah slings Dresden-level snark back at her.

Sarah, meanwhile, is part of a WEBCOMIC CLUB... that only has her and Dave in it. She does The Wizard Sarah. Dave does Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. The club does very little.

Elliot and Nanase take over the college STRIFE! club. They need to get a prof to be the official head of the club... and Tensaided isn't doing anything...

The JUST/HEROIC rule applies... to any fight with strife specibi involved. Hence why there's a STRIFE! club. You can't die in a college club sparring session. That would never be heroic, and if it's just you must be an INCREDIBLE piece of shit.

Vriska steers clear of the club. She knows what she's done.

No god tiers.

Idea two is a lot less... structured right now. Basically, the EGS crew sit down to play a game at the same time as Egbert and company. Things change dramatically from the Homestuck we know.

Tedd - who is really good at speedrunning - manages to save the Earth by functionally captchaloguing the entire planet before more than a few meteors hit. It's safe in his sylladex the entire story.

Ellen is Elliot's alchemized ecto-clone. It shouldn't have happened. It did. She's irritated about that, but... y'know... EXISTENCE, can't be too pissy.

TF happens via alchemization. There is a LOT of human alchemization in this timeline.

John and Tedd are the heads of the "Totally Cisgendered 100% Men Yup Totally Club Also This Isn't A Club". This goes about as well as you can expect, with John becoming June less than halfway through the story and Tedd realizing their genderfluidity.

Grace is TECHNICALLY Gracesprite^2, but ain't no one gonna remember that. She's Tedd and Sarah's sprites.

The looming threats in the background - Lord English and Lord Tedd - obliterate each other before they can become more than lore and signal noise.

By all means, GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS.

#Homestuck #el goonish shive #askbox open #crossovers #EGStuck

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hobipaint · 3 years

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A Story Told On Sand

summary: The setting sun gives time for Jungkook to cherish his family.

↳ pairing: jungkook x reader

↳ genres: fluff, like so much fluff, established relationship, slice of life au.

↳ word count: 1.4K

↳ disclaimers: none.

a/n: A completely self indulgent Jungkook fluff drabble written at two at night haha,, I was really going through it. Written for the @bangtanwritingbingo prompt no. 14 - watching sunsets/sunrises, and for @btscreatorscorner June workshop- writing from a member's POV! a massive thank you to @jikookiekosmos for making the banner for me😭 and a massive thank you to @vaekth and @joonscore for bearing with me because I just kept talking on and on about this in your dms lol.

Jungkook leaned back, eyes shutting close as he felt the breeze kiss over every inch of his skin. The warm sunset was only just spreading across the sky, a bright yellow turning to a scarlet - as if the sun was blushing at the idea of leaving the sky, it's lover.

"It's nice," You sighed, hands resting over his as you looked at the sunset.

Jungkook looked at you, smiling, and hummed in agreement. "I like this scenario, you know. A sunset, the kids are playing in the sand, and your hand in mine. My day is coming to a good end."

You turned to face him just as he lifted your joined hands to his mouth to leave a small kiss. You smiled, with your other hand coming up to pull your hair to the side, and Jungkook remembered why he fell in love with you all over again. He looked at you, your eyes sparkling in the deep orange of the sunset, keeping his eyes locked with yours as he pulled you closer.

Kissing you never got old.

His lips softly settled on yours, the feeling of them feeling right. Your scent- an unlikely mix of mint, from his perfume, and chocolate, from baking with the kids earlier today- filled his surroundings - and he didn't want anything more. His hand clasped yours, thumb tracing small universes over the back of your hand - universes where it was only you, him and your family. You other hand languidly traced up his arm, curling behind the nape of his neck to pull him closer. He felt you smile, nearly giggle, and it was only seconds before the two of you pulled away and just laughed. It felt good to be here. It felt good to be with you.

The setting sun cast beautiful spells over the waves that were splashing and playing around in the sea, washing them in shades of burnt red and gentle yellows. The glimmering swell of water that leaped over the sand had your children squealing in delight, running away from the wave. You waved them over, watching as they ran helter skelter to collect their sand toys before running the two of you.

Jungkook spread his arms out as his daughter ran to her father, not minding the sand that stuck to her body as she leaped on him - squealing in happiness at being reunited with her partner in crime. You reached over to ruffle her hair, eyes crinkling as your son walked over and buried his face in your lap, finally exhausted with the events of the day.

It was a vacation for you and him - time to spend with family. There were so many highs and so many lows in your daily lives that it was exhausting, even if you loved your work - and you both needed that break, even if it was only for a weekend. Now, as he watched the waves crash into each other and then end in bubbles, he felt that peace he had wanted.

"Tomorrow, we will go back to the city. Right, dad?" Your daughter sat up and spoke to Jungkook, his hand coming up to caress the hair that flew wildly behind her, settling it behind her ear. "Yes, my bunny. We're going back tomorrow."

"Good!" She beamed at him, and Jungkook felt his heart swell. She took his palm, and he couldn't help but be amazed at how wonderfully she had grown up - he remembered when he would walk her around with her clinging onto his pinky finger only, and now her hand fit in the palm of his hand, big enough to clutch his hand and swing it while playing games. "I wanted to show you a drawing I had made for you and mommy."

You turned towards your daughter while petting your son's head, fingertips gently untangling the heap of curls in his hair as he slept soundly. "What drawing, baby?"

"I made a big girl drawing. Teacher had said it was really good!" Your daughter beamed, missing incisors displayed in a beautiful smile that strangely reminded Jungkook of your own -upper lip quirking in a way that he thought only you could, till his daughter first beamed at him. The thought made him smile.

"Really? I can't wait to see it then, bub. We'll pin it on the fridge too!" You cheered for her, her eyes widening in happiness and surprise at the sudden announcement. She jumped onto both of you, nearly knocking her brother off his mother's lap as she squealed again, screaming to the waves in the distance about how she loved her family. "We will be here forever!" she said, happily clapping.

After a few more moments of excited babbling - including a certain confession she had received from a classmate ("I promised not to tell anyone, but I didn't want to hide it from you! He said he loved me!") Jungkook's shocked exclamation at his baby getting confessions, you laughing, and her defending her 'friend', she was peacefully dosing on Jungkook's lap. His hand went to softly pat her hair, humming a soft lullaby - the same one he had sung to her for years- for all the times she wouldn't sleep at night.

Eight years, and she still paraded up to him at night to demand the lullaby, and Jungkook would simply cherish that time as he would caress her head, wishing her sweet dreams and tucking the blanket in. "It's to keep the monsters away, " he'd hear her murmur everytime, and he'd smile before returning to his wife and son in the next room, softly patting his son's cheek, kissing his wife good night, and falling asleep.

Looking at you now - your eyes paying attention to the two year old that had curled up in your lap - he held back the sudden urge to shout in happiness like his daughter had. That's what he felt. Overwhelmed with happiness. He didn't believe that he actually got to live with this euphoria in his life. One look at the three of you made him feel so proud, so responsible, and so loved - he simply couldn't put it all into words.

Your head came to rest on his shoulder, and Jungkook leaned his head over yours, hands finding each other. You squeezed his hand tightly, and sighed - and he understood you. This silence, this time - it all meant so much for the two of you.

"Once we go back, we're probably not getting time like this again, are we?" You whispered, letting the words fly away with the breeze.

"Maybe. Who knows, I'll whisk you away on a getaway next week?" He smiled, and though he couldn't see you, he knew you were smiling, too.

"Maybe? What about our daughter's annual day, mister? Forgot so soon?" You laughed as you spoke, punching his arm playfully. "I guess my husband is turning old already."

"Hey!" Jungkook said, trying to fake his anger even if he couldn't take the smile off his face. "I remembered it, of course I remember! I had to learn the ballet routine as well!" You laughed again, the sound familiar and known to him- his heart beating a happy beat. "I twisted round and round, over and over, and nearly ripped my pants."

"Mmmm, and I didn't see you complaining after this baby appreciated you." Jungkook watched you caress your daughter's hair, then her cheek, and settle on the sand. "You went for it all the way."

"I would always go all the way for her. And for this pumpkin too." He pointed at his son, and you giggled. "And for you too. You're my world, you know that?"

You raised your head to face him, Jungkook almost complaining at the loss of your body heat right near him. "And you're mine. You, and our kids. You're all my everything."

Jungkook's eyes softened, pulling you closer for you to rest your head on him again. You leaned against his chest, and Jungkook bent down to kiss the top of your head before leaning back to bade goodbye to the sun.

"I think sunsets look the prettiest, don't they?" You marvelled at the sky, lush shades of warm orange letting hints of blue peak through as the sky prepared for nightfall.

I think everything looks prettier when it's with you, Jungkook wanted to say, but he lets the babble of the returning seagulls fill the space. His hands wrap around you, letting his eyes look to the sky once again, awed by everything around him now. This was all he needed.

"I love you," he murmured, pressing another kiss to his lover as the sun set upon the evening.

a/n: I'm not really sure if this would be drabble length or fic length, but I'd like to think of it as a drabble. Writing this was really warm and comforting for me, so I hope that it gave you a similar feeling. I'd love to hear any feedback you have either as a comment, reblog, or as an ask! Thank you so much for giving your time to my work 💞 love, hazel 🤗

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atalho-s · 3 years

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Light Up The Dark

Part 1 | June

pairing: bartender!tom x famous!reader

warnings: some smut +18 (in this particular chapter it’s nothing TOO explicit, but miniors be aware), swear words?, drinking, let me know if anything else!

words: 4.9 k

summary: y/n is a famous horror writer. Her books are on the lips of the people and her face is on all the magazine covers of promising young people.

She has just moved to Los Angeles, the city of celebrities and luxury, when she starts to get a writer's block as she starts writing her newest book. A way to distract herself and seek inspiration leads her to have her destiny mapped out with a simple waiter named Tom who has a delicious british accent.

What happens when her inspiration comes back only after she spends a night with him and she only manages to write after being in the company of that guy she just met? Maybe he'll become her newest addiction.

a/n: english it’s not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistake! this is a series i started writing a while ago, i hope y’all enjoy :) the reader it’s from brazil here, but you can replace from any country you want lol And obv i’m not from LA and never been there, so if i say something out of reality it’s bc of that 😂

"June arrived at the restaurant, sat down near the bar and looked around vaguely. The strange people's faces made her think better and maybe drink a shot of tequila too.

She opened his folder with the horrifying photos of the mysterious case. She felt sick to her stomach.

People said that by then she should have been used to see this kind of thing, but that was repulsive.

She wish the nightmare she had the night before was a way to solve that puzzle, but believing in the afterlife now wouldn't help her... If...If..."

- Damn it... - Y/n slammed her fist on the table. - Writer's block sucks. - She said and took the last sip of her tea.

It s been a week since she couldn't write anything. She would write maybe two paragraphs, maybe even three if she got lucky, but she always ended up erasing it, because she always turned into something meaningless or too cliche.

Damn the time she had promised to deliver something to her editor by the end of the month. But she hadn't counted on the lack of ideas when she agreed to that.

She got up from her chair in frustration and crossed her arms, pacing, as if her creativity had gone out for a walk and she was waiting impatiently for it to come back.

Why had she agreed to write a new book in the first place? She didn't need money. Their previous four books were already making huge profits, and they were going to make a new television series based on one of them.

So why writing another one? Maybe because, she had been having too many nightmares lately. Many family and friends told her to see a psychologist, see if she didn't have some hidden trauma. But looking for a psychologist? Admitting your weaknesses and personal things to a stranger? Never. That would be horrifying.

Writing helped. Transferring his fears to pages was hers gift. When she wrote she didn't have nightmares, didn't see things, wasn't sad. It was like a drug, a calming medicine.

Maybe fame was also making her restless lately. She hated being the spotlight, being the magazine cover of promising young people. She hated to see her name highlighted. But she loved having readers, yes. She loved when someone felt good reading her books or in the good sense of the word: terrified by her stories.

At the height of her 25 years, he never thought her books would become famous at that point. She had always enjoyed writing since she was a child, but working with it was just an unattainable dream. Until, at age 19, she quit her hideous job as a hotel receptionist and decided to publish her first story.

Obviously there were many rejections, until a publisher agreed to publish their work. From then on, her books became more and more known. They called her the new horror genius, the mystery queen, and sometimes even "Stephen King's lost daughter."

She didn't think it was all that. But she accepted the descriptions gladly. No wonder her books didn't come out of the top spot on the best sellers.

Another thing that motivated her to continue with that story, was a phrase from her own idol mentioned, Stephen King: "good stories are those that stay in the head for a long time". And God only knew how that story had been with her for far too long. She always wanted to put it down on paper, so here she was trying to put into words what her head brought up as random thoughts.

But now she was having one of his first creative blocks. Obviously she had already had it with previous books, but nothing as frustrating as this one. She had been trying hard for days, which was exhausting.

She looked at the clock on the wall: 11pm. Who knows if she took another break before starting writing again? Maybe it would help to come up with more ideas.

She thought about watching a show or movie, but he wasn't in the mood. She looked at her long polka dot pajamas under her favorite warm robe and snorted. Go out? On a Thursday night? On a cold night? No way.

But what if it helped her have more writing material? Watching people on the street really helped. If June, the character in her book, was in a bar, maybe if she went to one too it would help to have something to build on.

Writers did it all the time. Describe places that already existed, situations similar to which they lived. So, it wouldn't be new. Maybe she'd even put the location in her tribute if helped she got out of her creative block.

She took a deep breath and went to take a shower. It was decided, she would go out. She put on her best jeans, a Ramones T-shirt with a leather jacket. It wasn't a fancy outfit, but she didn't intend to go somewhere fancy anyway. Her stylist would have been dying to see her now, but she didn't care one bit.

She went out pressing the bottom of the elevator. Y/n had lived on the top floor of a building for 2 months, right in downtown Los Angeles. Sometimes she didn't even know why she chose to live there, she hated the big city and what came with it: paparazzi, celebrities, crazy people who feel superior, wealth and luxury. She came from a humble family, so she always felt like an outsider.

Y/n arrived downstairs and left the condominium calling a taxi that was passing in the street just in time. She walked in and closed the door, crossing her arms, trying to ward off the cold.

- Good night miss, where are you going? - the driver asked looking at her in the rearview mirror.

- Good night... Actually I don't know, do you have any suggestions for a bar around here?- she asked looking out the window. She didn't even bother to look for suggestions for places nearby.

- Well, it depends on what you're looking for... Something luxurious or something fun? - He said and a smiled played on the corer of her mouth. Luxurious was the opposite of fun indeed.

- Something fun, of course.

- So, I suggest the new Seven Devils bar, it's less than 20 minutes from here... - he said.

- Interesting name... Could be. - She said shrugging.

- The name is kinda creepy, but the place is cozy and welcoming, I went once. - the driver said starting and entering the street that was practically empty for being a weekday.

- Cool... - Y/n said looking at the city lights through the window.

After nearly twenty minutes the taxi stopped in front of what appeared to be a small door with a security guard in front of it. The neon sign indicated the name of the place, it seemed a mysterious place for those who passed by without knowing it.

- Thanks. - Y/n said handing the driver the money.

- You're not the Y/n Y/l/n? I didn't want to say anything, but I'm a fan of you, I love your books, they help me pass the time while I wait for passengers. - the driver asked turning a little with one of the Y/n books in his hand. - Could you sign this for me?

- Sure! - Y/n spoke excitedly taking the book from his hand and leaving a message along with her signature. - Thanks for the tip of the place. Have a good night... - She said opening the door.

- No, thank you, have a good night miss. -he said and she smiled closing the door and the taxi left leaving her alone looking at the door in front of her.

She approached the security guard who wished her good night, giving her room to enter, after she showed her ID. Y/n entered a little afraid of what she would find. The door behind her closed and she looked around. It was really cozy as the taxi driver said, it had a part with several tables, which were a little empty and a bar with stools around. The place had a good atmosphere, one of those that people go there to meet and chat with friends, in the background there was a kind of pop song that she wasn't sure if she knew or not.

He slowly approached the bar and sat down on one of the stools. A woman with several tattoos appeared behind the counter and came to serve her.

- Good night! How can I serve you?- she asked with a smile.

- Good night... Hm... Maybe a martini? - Y/n said taking a look at the drinks on the shelf behind the attendant.

- Okay, I'll be back with your order, anything else?

- That's it for now, thanks. - She replied smiling and the attendant walked away.

Y/n kept looking around, watching people, maybe looking for some inspiration. Something that would turn the key in his mind. Many who were there were in groups of friends and were talking animatedly, laughing. Some young and some older, in suits and ties, perhaps coming out of work.

Until one guy in particular caught her attention. He wore the black uniform with the name of the place, with an apron tied around the waist of the same color, and was picking up some glasses from some empty tables. He had dark brown hair slicked back and eyes the same color, very expressive and large. A boy's face from the outside, but on the inside had a mysterious and confident air.

He balanced a tray full of things with an greatest skill in one hand and smiled at some people, he seemed charming because everytime he left a table he left people whispering and giggling embarrassed behind his back.

He walked over and entered the bar placing the tray behind the counter, came close to the other attendant who already had the Y/n martini ready and she could hear him talking, soon realizing he had a perfect accent.

- Sally, you can leave it to me, go take your break. Whose martini is it?- he asked taking a look around.

- Oh thank you, my feet are killing me. It's the girl over there. -she said indicating Y/n with her head and he looked at her, making Y/n realize that she was staring at him for too long, so she looked away embarrassed.

- Okay. - he said looking at where Y/n was sitting and stopped in front of her with the glass. - Good night miss, here is your order. - He spoke with a british accent. Only at that moment did Y/n realize that his accent was well loaded and God only knows how much she loved that accent.

- Oh yes, thank you very much. - She said raising her eyes to look at him and smiled then he blinked with one of his eyes and gave her one more look, before going to deliver another order to a man who was sitting a few benches away.

Y/n felt a shiver all of a sudden, that boy had made her legs a little weak and she didn't really know why. I mean, he was handsome, very handsome and he had a special charm, but it wasn't that much, was it? Maybe it was because it had been a while since she'd dated anyone. When was the last time? Two months ago? Since she had moved in she hadn't gone out with anyone, she had locked herself in her apartment and was writing like crazy. She didn't have time to go out, not even with her friends when she was working on a new book. Which brought them dissatisfaction from time to time, not just because she didn't hang around with them, but because she didn't even go out on one-night stands.

She never been the one that going out with a guy just for sex, she had to have some good first dates and maybe she would take him to see her apartment or go to his apartment. Friends of hers thought she was too old in her spirit, but what can he do? If she couldn't be bad girl once in a while. For a moment she thought, "For this english guy I would be" but shook her head away from the thoughts. She went back to analyzing him, dammit why did he have to be so fit? She could see that the T-shirt he was wearing highlighted his muscles that were only left to her imagination, she found herself biting her lip a bit and snatching her martini off the counter, taking a big sip.

The attendant approached again, drying some glasses with a towel, and took one more look in her direction where she looked away quickly making him smirk. He stopped in front of her again, bracing her arms on the counter, making her swallow hard. He didn't know why she was so nervous, he was just a guy, no biggie.

- I like the shirt. - He pointed with a smile, which made her think he had a beautiful and endearing smile. She looked down and then looked at him smiling too.

- Thank you... Ramones is everything... - she said and drank the last sip of her drink placing the empty glass in front of her right after. - Can you serve one more?

- Sure...- he said, still smiling, took the bottle and filled his glass again. - Trying to distract yourself on a thursday night?

- Yeah... you could say yes... - she said taking another sip. - Have you worked here for a long time?

- In fact, it's been almost six months since I moved to the United States and I've been working here for four months. -he said putting the towel that was in his hand on his shoulder.

- Hm... You're from London?

- I am, wow how did you find out? - he asked raising an eyebrow playfully and she smiled.

- Yeah, your accent really doesn't give out anything ... - she said and he gave a low laugh making her have more goose bumps.

- You also have a different accent, have you lived here for a long time? - he didn't know who she was, which was good. But it also wasn't like she was recognized all the time, despite her face being on magazine covers, she was still a writer, so she was only recognized by those who liked to read or who vaguely remembered her face.

- I was born in Brazil actually, but I've lived here for years, lived in another city for almost five years and now I've decided to come to Los Angeles two months ago...

- I see ... - he said organizing some drinks that were on the counter. - Do you like it here?

- More or less... It's a busy city, isn't it?

- Yeah, it's not for anyone. - He said shrugging. - I like it, I like the rush, but the glamor part really isn't me. - the attendant said and she smiled.

- You're right... I mean, I don't like the glam too much either... - She looked away at her nails.

- What do you work with? - he asked and she looked at him again.

- I'm a writer...

- Nice! What do you write? - He asked curious looking at her with attention.

- I write horror and thriller books.

- Interesting... I would never read, actually I'm not much of a reader anyway, but I wouldn't, because I'm terrified of those things. - He said crossing his arms and she laughed.

- Oh, it's not that terrifying, it's just stories. - She said leaning her elbows on the counter.

- Still, I prefer to have my good night's sleep intact. - He said and she laughed making him smile looking at her.

When she was about to say something, a customer signaled for him and he excused himself going towards the man who was furthest away.

Y/n sighed. She still didn't have any new ideas about her story, but she was entertained by that conversation. She liked not being recognized, she liked him not being interested in her books, for a moment she felt oblivious to anything, liked feeling disconnected from her world.

He returned shortly after and they started talking again. They talked about bands, movies, superficial celebrities and even politics (an important topic in Y/n's vision, who was very firm with her ideas, thankfully he had passed the test). She found out that he was the same age as her and that he moved to the US to look for something that would give him money or a perspective on life, ended up getting that job and intended to stay until he found a different area. The hours passed and they kept finding subjects to give their opinion or questions to ask each other.

- Did you go to college? - she asked after a while.

- No, I don't think I'm smart enough for that, or have the patience. What about you?

- Everyone is smart enough. I started going to business school, but I dropped out when my books started to pay off...

- Wow, your books should give you a good amount of money to be able to drop out of college and dedicate yourself to them...

- Yeah... You could say that. - She shrugged.

- You know looking at you closer like that...- he said getting a little closer and she held her breath for a moment. - I've seen you somewhere...

- Really? - She said raising her eyebrow and drinking from a straw, now with a different drink.

- I don't know, you're not strange to me... - he said putting his hand on his face thoughtfully.

- Well, I hope it's from somewhere nice. - She smiled and he smiled back looking at her. - Do you have a girlfriend or are you married? - Y/n asked and regretted a little, what was she thinking? He wasn't married, as he didn't have a ring on his finger as she'd noticed. But what was her intention by asking that question? She didn't even know, she just knew it had escaped her.

- Neither darling. - He replied smiling a little mischievously and she felt butterflies with the way he called her by that nickname and with that accent. - How about you?

- Neither ... - She replied avoiding looking at him, those eyes hypnotized her and she didn't like to feel at his mercy of a guy she had just met. She took the cell phone disguising but paid attention to the time. - My God, it's already 2:00 in the morning! I completely missed the time.

- I think the company ended up distracting you. - He said still not taking his eyes off her and she felt her cheeks heat up.

- Yeah, the chat was really good... But I have to go... - she said getting up.

- If you wait I can take you home, I'm already leaving, the bar is already closing. - he said and Y/n looked around seeing that some waiters were already collecting some things from the tables.

She thought for a moment, take a ride home with him? It didn't make sense, she had just met him, but at the same time she had enjoyed talking to him so much. He didn't seem like a bad person, but even so you would never know for sure. At the same time she never took any chances, why not let that pretty boy take her home? Finally, she thought: you know what? Screw this.

-Erm, ok...- She shrugged. - I'll go to the cashier to pay and wait for you outside?

- No need to pay darling, it's on me. - He spoke winking and she smiled.

- Oh no, I'll pay no problem...

- Your company has paid off your debt, it's ok. - He replied and she took a deep breath rolling her eyes.

- If you insist...- she said giving up.

He came out from behind the counter and motioned for her to follow him, arriving at the front door where the security was.

- Tuwaine, you can let her pass, it's on me. - He told the big guy and he looked at the english man, sawing his eyes suspiciously and smiling right away. Making Y/n laugh inside.

- Meet you outside? It will only take a few minutes - the attendant said and she nodded, leaving in the cold night.

She leaned against the door with her thoughts. She had come here just to get inspiration and to have her creative back, but she was coming home with an english guy. She didn't even recognize herself anymore, but to say she wasn't anxious (in a good way) was a lie.

She was lost in her thought, until minutes later he came out wearing a denim jacket, which made him look even more handsome.

- Let's go? - He said and she followed him to an old car parked right in front of the bar.

He opened the door for her to get in and she thanked him by sitting in the passenger seat, pulling on her seat belt as he closed the door. He sat down next to her right away, also putting on his belt.

- Hey, before we go: I didn't ask for your name! If you're going to take me home at least I have to know that- she asked realizing that she didn't even know that yet and he looked towards her smiling.

- Tom Holland. - He said stretching his hand. - Nice to meet you.

- Y/n Y/l/n- she said, squeezing his hand. And you can't deny that she felt butterflies in her stomach as she felt her skin on hers.

- Your name is not strange to me, I must have read it in one of your books in some shop window. - He said starting and leaving with the car.

- Yeah, who knows ... - she said and he turned on the radio leaving the volume low.

They were exchanging a few words until she indicated that they had arrived at the building where she lived. Tom parked and looked up in a daze.

- Wow, you really have money... - he said and she took off her belt turning towards him.

- A little bit...- she replied crossing her arms. - Well, thank you so much for the ride...

- You're welcome darling. - He said turning his eyes to her. Again that nickname that sounded perfect on his lips.

She turned around, but when she was about to open the door, she turned back to Tom, who was leaning with one hand on the steering wheel and watching her with attention. The next words escaped her again and she was afraid she'd regret it.

- Tom, do you want to come in? - She spoke still holding the door and the boy smiled.

- Sure ... - he said taking the key from the ignition and she shook her head slightly leaving.

He followed her and they entered the building. Tom looked at everything admired which made Y/n smile a little to herself. They entered the elevator and she pressed the penthouse button causing him to raise an eyebrow.

- You really must be a great writer. - he said and she laughed.

He leaned his back against the elevator wall, putting his hands in his pocket and looking her up and down, making her shy. He kept looking at her and it was making her nervous.

They were silent until the elevator opened after a while and they got out. Y/n put a password on the door and it swung open with a small click, she took held the latch and motioned for Tom to enter.

After the two of them entered she closed the door again behind her and watched Tom standing further on, looking around.

- Nice apartment...- he finally said.

- Thank you... - She leaned against the table at the entrance. She didn't know what to do next, maybe it had been a bad idea to bring him here. Why was she so impulsive that night? -Tom, I don't know why I invite you in, sorry...-she said a little nervous looking at her feet. He turned towards her, approaching and stopping in front of her.

- Are you sure you don't know? - He asked and she raised her head, seeing those brown eyes. She bit her bottom lip watching him closely. Damn he knew how to hypnotize her. He took another step and placed a hand on either side of her on the table, cornering her - Your body says otherwise, love... - he said softly feeling her breath hitch slowly and approaching his face to hers, alternating the look of your eyes to her lips. Y/n found another nickname that was perfect when he say.

He finally closed the distance by pressing his lips to hers. His lips were soft and warm, as if they were meant to be kissed. She returned the kiss willingly and when she laced her fingers in his neck, he licked her lower lip slowly asking for passage in which she opened them letting his tongue explore her mouth.

His hands gripped her waist and roamed her body greedily. As he kissed her, he caught her from behind her legs and sat her down on the entrance table, biting her bottom lip shortly after, provoking a low moan from her. He smiled against her lips and trailed kisses to her neck, attacking her skin with desire, making her throw her head back a little.

She grabbed his hair and pulled him back so she could kiss him. Which he gladly reciprocate. His kiss was urgent, but without being rude, he tasted like mint, making her want him even more.

His fingers found the button of her pants and he undid them quickly pulling them out, tossing them aside. When he came back he took her calf and kissed her leg up to her thighs, making her sigh. He moved up the kisses until he caught the hem of her shirt and pulled it up a little, kissing her stomach as well. Y/n didn't know what to do but feel goose bumps with every touch he gave. He then hiked up her shirt and she lifted her arms where he pulled her off, tossing along with her pants that were also on the floor.

She was just wearing her underwear in front of him, it made her a little excited and embarrassed at the same time, but the way he looked at her made her feel confident. He went back to kissing her body, this time kissing each covered breast in turn and reaching for the back of her bra and opening it. She helped him out tosiing to the side and he stood between her legs just watching her for a second, making her feel her cheeks heat up.

- Perfect... - he said with a low voice, as it was for himself and bent down to her breasts kissing each one of her nipples and then sucking them deliciously. Y/n moaned and bit her lip to keep her moans from getting louder, tangling her fingers in his hair again. He looked into her eyes for a few seconds and smiled slightly lowering his kisses to where she wanted him most.

He reached the hem of her panties and pulled them out slowly, kneeling between her legs and she looked at him with expectation. He returned the look and gave that smirk again.

- Look at you darling.... - That damn nickname. - Extremely wet and I haven't even touched you yet... - he said approaching and devouring her right away making her throw her head back with pleasure, biting her lips again to not sound so pathetic with her moans that insisted in wanting get out. - Oh, please don't drown out those wonderful sounds you make, I want to hear how good I'm making you feel. - He said in a husky tone, returning to his task after and she parted her lips letting her moans spread through the apartment.

****************************************************************************************

Y/n woke up the other day in her bed. She didn't even know how she got there, she just had flashes of the night before and how good she felt in each moment. She stretched and looked to the side seeing she was alone. She got up and put on a robe who was on the side of the bed.

After going to the bathroom and doing her morning hygiene routine she walked around the apartment looking around to see if Tom was somewhere else in the house, but found nothing. Which was understandable, it wasn't like she expected him to stay there and have breakfast with her and all.

She arrived in the kitchen and made black coffee and lean against the countertop. What that simple waiter had done to her was ridiculous, in a good sense, she felt great and kept remembering that accent that was stuck in her mind. He had consumed her in a way she had never imagined it she could be.

Taking a deep breath she set down turning her notebook on. Then opened her book and started writing.

#tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #bartender!tom #waiter!tom #tom holland x famous!reader #bartender!tom x writer!reader #tom holland series

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suchalonelysunflower · 4 years

Text

The Greatest Thing You’ll Ever Learn is to Love (A.I)

Pairing: Ashton Irwin X fem!Reader

Request: Yes!

Summary: Ashton is trying to propose, but fate’s not putting it easily

Warnings: Smut, oral (female recieving) unprotected sex in a stablished relationship (wrap it before you tap it, please) Language, maybe a few grammar mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word Count: 5.3 k

Author’s Note: Requested by the lovely Lizza @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof 💕 is my very fisrt attempt to smut writting (I literally have no experience with this) so please be kind. Reblogs, comments and feedback are always welcomed and encouraged so please, I would love to know your opinion 😊 You can find the rest of my work HERE. Hope you like it and Happy reading ✨🦋

@iknowyouthinkimbulletproof : hi, i hope i'm not bugging you (wow didn't know my social anxiety shows so much) , i wanted to ask if you could write some fluffy smut with ash or mikey. maybe they just got engaged or something. lots of love - lizza

Everything was going according to plan. At least that’s what Ashton thought 5 min into the date.

“What do you mean there is no reservation?” He asked the host, as calmly as he could.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Irwin. But I have no reservations under your name for tonight” Said the lady, trying to avoid any conflict “I do have one for the 24th but for the next month”

Ashton wanted to slap himself in the face. Did he really make the reservation and messed up the date?! Tonight, out of all nights, it had to be tonight. His mind was racing like the Lightning Mcqueen himself, trying to find any kind of solution for this inconvenience.He had to find a way to stick to the plan, even if the first step was already ruined.

“Is everything okay, Ash?” A voice snapped him out of his head.

Ashton looked at you and his eyes softened when he felt your delicate hand on his arm, he was thankful for this little comforting gesture you always do when you notice he was starting to get frustrated. He gave you a reassuring warm smile as he interlocks his fingers with yours.

“Yeah,” Ash said, thanking the host and guiding you out of the fancy restaurant onto the busy LA streets. “I'm just an idiot who can't tell June from July appart” He sighed.

Your mouth became a thin line as you tried to hold back the laughter. “Oh no, baby…” You said, barely holding in the giggles. Ashton rolled his eyes.

“Okay, let it out” He said as you burst out laughing in the middle of the sidewalk. Ashton briefly stops, but you kept on walking, allowing him to pull on your hand and make you turn around until your chest hit his “Well, now you´re just being mean” He pouted as you started giggling again.

“Aww I´m sorry, baby” You said pecking his lips “But that's what you get for always teasing me about not remembering dates”

“Yeah, I guess I deserve that” He sighed “You're not mad?”

“Why would I be?” You frowned confused.

Ashton looked at the floor, his hand still intertwined with yours as he played with your fingers. He didn’t try to hide his disappointment.

“Because! We’ve been waiting for this date for a while now and you spend a lot of time getting yourself all ready and gorgeous to go to that fancy restaurant and I just ruined by getting all wrong from the beginning and-“

“Ash!” You interrupted him, cupping his face in your hands and making him look at you “Nothing’s ruined and the date isn’t over! Maybe it was fate… think about it! I bet that restaurant didn’t even have fries and I’m seriously craving some right now” Ashton chucked “The important thing here is that I get to spend time with you, so as long as I do, I don’t care if it is in a five star restaurant with minuscule portions of overly priced food or in a McDonald’s parking lot”

Ashton looked at you and all he could see was how your eyes crinkled with your smile. He swears that if he were to die in the next 10 seconds then he would die a happy man, because your smile would be the last thing he’d see.

This was just a minor setback, he thought, just one piece of his plan that didn’t exactly stick to it, but he still had all night.

“I love you” He said, smiling as he brought his lips to yours.

“I love you too, baby” You responded, stepping back and tugging on his hand “But first, fries”

Ashton laughed, letting you guide the way to the closest fast food restaurant. And as he felt the weight of the small velvet box on his pocket, he knew that you were right, as long as he was with you, then everything would be okay. He only hopes the rest of the night goes according to plan.

In a matter of minutes, you and Ashton were sitting on the sidewalk in your fancy clothes eating fries and milkshakes, laughing and joking around without a single care in the world. Your head was resting on his shoulder as you both saw cars and people pass, trying to create narratives with complete strangers and laughing at the absurdity that came out of each other's mouths.

With every passing second, Ashton was even more sure about his decision. He was looking at you while you wondered aloud about the possibility of fate and he couldn't believe his luck. It seemed like yesterday where he got the nerve to ask you out on a date, palms sweaty as he blurted out the words, holding his breath until you smiled at him and said yes. He's hoping that tonight you would do the same.

Your words drift away in his head as he starts daydreaming about your future together. He can see you standing all in white in front of him, a house with a lot of rooms to let your friends crash whenever they needed to or to fill with toys for your children, oh he can't wait to start a family with you, knowing that that's what you want too, eventually, maybe in a few years. Or maybe not at all? You could´ve changed your mind and that would be alright by him, after all if he has you then that's all he needed. But maybe you don't want him anymore, maybe you changed your mind completely. What would you say then? Is he rushing this? You talked about this before, but you could still say no. Would you say no? You have all the right to do so. Oh God, is he ruining this by asking you? Would you break up with him? Wh-?

“Ashton?”

Your voice pulls him out of the trance, just like it did the first time he asked you on a date.

“Hmm?” He hums. His eyes find yours and it's easy to spot the worry in them, the anxiety of it all is consuming him, but he can't let it show.

“Where'd you go?” You chuckled, knowing he was in a different headspace.

“I'm right here” He said, sliding his thumb against your lip to clean a bit of ice cream that was left forgotten, pressing his lips against yours right after.

He knows he shouldn't overthink this instead of enjoying this moment with you. He loves you and he knows you love him, that's all that matters, that's all there is to care. You belong together and if fate wants it, then you´ll be together for all your lives and he wants nothing more. He couldn't be more grateful when he's holding you like that, kissing you like that. With you, he feels like home. You are like a dream come true.

He pulled away after a while, giving your forehead a little kiss and staying like that. You smiled.

“Not that I'm complaining,” You said, lifting your gaze to meet his eyes “But are you okay, baby? You seem… off”

Ashton just smiled and nodded “I´m good, love. Just thinking,”

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Maybe later.” He chuckled, getting up from the sidewalk and offering his hand for you to the same “Now, are you ready for step two?”

“Ooh, there's more?” You teased, locking your fingers together as you walked side to side.

“I want you to have the best night of your life, dear” Ashton said, pulling you closer.

“I already do! Every night that I have you with me is the best night of my life” You leaned closer to whisper in his ear “Where I can have you all by myself,” You bit his earlobe quickly, wanting to tease him just enough.

“Careful, princess” Ashton warned in a low voice “Don't want to start something you don't intend to finish. We still have a long night ahead of us ”

“Oh, I'm counting on it”

*************************************************

“Excuse me, what?!” Ashton asked the security guard of the gallery. The man just stood there and shook his head.

“I’m sorry son, but the exhibition is closed until next week for reparations”

“Oh no, no no no no no” Ashton murmured, tangling his fingers in his hair “fuck fuck fuck fuck”

He was thankful that you needed to go to the bathroom, that way you didn’t see him freak out in front of a complete stranger.

The security guard looked at Ashton like he was crazy.

“Are you okay, son?”

“No!” He said loudly, but quickly lowered his voice when he realized more people were staring “That exhibition belongs to one of my girlfriend’s favorite artists, they have this whole collection of couples in different stages in life and intimacy and she just loves it so much and I already plan on asking her to marry me but the restaurant didn’t have my reservation and now the gallery is closed and I’m fully panicking because I don’t know if she’s going to say yes now that I ruined again just because I didn’t ask before coming in here and-“

Ashton was interrupted when he felt two large hands grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him slightly.

“Calm the ef down, chief” Said the old man “You are going to have seizure if you keep rambling like that without taking a breath” Ashton closed his mouth and just stared at the man who still hasn’t let go of him “Look, you love this girl, don’t ya son?”

“More than anything”

“You wanna marry her?”

“Yes.”

“She loves you?”

“She does”

“Then why the hell are you so nervous?! If she loves you and wants to marry you then just ask her! Believe me, women don’t care about the flowers or the chocolates or all that bullshit. If you are the one for her and she’s the one for you then that’s all that truly has value” The man gave a small, kinda ‘wake the hell up’ slap to Ashton’s cheek that made him blink in disbelief “Now, don’t be an idiot, puff your chest and stop being a little scared puppy and go ask her!”

Ashton nodded, kinda weirded out by the whole interaction but still understanding everything that man said. He thanked the man for the pep talk and walked a little too fast over where you were standing.

You had just come out of the bathroom when you saw your boyfriend walking up to you. You noticed he was a little distressed once again.

“Hey, Ash. Everything okay?”

“Uhh, yes? No, yeah. What?” He mumbled, trying to wrap his head on what he should do next “Sorry, it just seems like the exhibition you wanted to see it’s closed for the week”

“Oh no,” You said in a little disappointed tone that Ashton was quick to catch up, cursing at himself for making you sad, even though it wasn’t exactly his fault “Eh okay, that’s fine. Maybe we can just hang out on the other exhibitions” You smiled.

“Babe, we’ve seen the other exhibitions like a million times already, don’t you think it’ll be a waste of time?” Ashton carefully asked.

“Of course not! I love them,” You exclaimed, tugging on his hand and already walking to an isle full of portraits “And besides, time’s never wasted when you’re in good company and I so happen to have the best one there is”

Ashton returned the smile and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to peck your cheek “I love you so darn much” he whispered in your ear “Why don’t we make this a game? You give me a list of things I have to find within the gallery, since we’ve been here before you need to make it clever so we don't end the game too soon, and I’ll do the same to you. Okay?”

Your eyes lighted up at the idea of a challenge. Both of you were very competitive and you knew this was going to be one of those times where it was all or nothing.

“What happens if I win?” You asked.

Ashton pulled you closer, his hand dangerously placed on your lower back, slowly traveling lower and lower, making you shiver under his touch “We can do whatever you want, baby” he whispered, leaving a burning kiss on the side of your ear.

“Mmh, whatever I want?”

“I’ll be at your mercy, my princess” He smirked.

You grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into a kiss “Then let’s make sure I win, then”

You exchanged phones and opened the notes app. The goal was to find ten items, it could be people hiding in one of the pictures or portraits, sculptures or random pieces of art scattered around the gallery. To prove you have them all you had to take a picture next to it or of it. Once you finished writing the list on each other’s phones, you started your search.

You walked alongside each other, hands laced together as you took in the different kinds of art the gallery offered, stopping from time to time when one of you spotted one item on the list, making one of you take the picture while the other rejoiced in victory.

“Hold up!” Ashton said as you passed in front of a peculiar painting “If I remember correctly… yes!” He celebrated quietly “There’s the duck with a bow tie! That means I win”

“This isn’t fair!” You whined after taking Ashton’s picture next to the stupid duck. He had a smug smile on his face as he held two thumbs up to the camera “I can’t find the last item! You cheated!”

“Aww” Cooed Ashton “Someone’s being a sore loser”

“Am not!”

“That’s alright babe, you can win another time” Ashton chucked “What’s the last item?”

“The lady with the diamond ring” You groaned, rolling your eyes “It’s so stupid! I’ve been here before like a thousand times and I’ve never seen a painting or anything like it with a lady with a diamond ring. Diamond tiara yes, but ring?” You scoffed, clearly frustrated “Are you sure there’s a lady like that here?”

“Well…” Ashton started, but he was soon cut off by a loud, annoying sound.

Soon enough, droplets of water started falling down the roof. The sprinkles had been turned on, meaning there was a fire inside the gallery.

You looked at Ashton with fear in your eyes, the same fear you saw reflected in his hazel gaze. He grabbed your hand, ready to sprint out of there in a second when someone started yelling.

“Sorry! False alarm! I fell and pressed the button sorry! There’s no fire!” A masculine voice echoed through the isles.

Ashton was livid, once again his proposal suffered a step back. How could everything get so messed up? He had everything planned and yet none of that worked. He was always used to having at least some sense of control over things but now he just felt completely helpless. Everything was wrong, everything was-

“Pfft”

He snapped his face towards you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he saw you place a hand to your mouth, cheeks turning red from trying to stifle your laughter. But as soon as your eyes met his, you lost it completely.

Your laughter burst through the halls, crackling at the situation “You-,” You said through a fit of giggles and snorts “Your face! You-“ You gasped for air, trying to gain some composure but failing miserably “I- we’re soaked! Look!”

Ashton gaze followed to where your finger was pointing, finally stopping at a mirrored window in front of you. The image of both of your fancy outfits completely drenched, humid strands of hair falling on your faces and your make-up completely ruined except for the waterproof eyeliner was truly a sight to behold.

Ashton’s eyes were concentrated on your reflection the entire time. Even soaking wet you were the most beautiful piece of art he’d ever seen, your laughter filling his ears as a muse’s melody. He couldn’t wait to hear it every single day of his life.

He joined you soon enough, his giggles resonating along yours, finally accepting how ridiculous this situation was. That’s something you love about him, his laugh. You’d never get tired of it. It was so sincere and pure, you don’t know how’d you spend so much time without that laugh in your life.

He was truly the love of your life. You knew, as soon as you saw him, that you were done for. You remember waiting patiently for him to ask you on a date, almost giving up and asking him yourself when he blurted out the words one day, thankfully. You are so in love with him it hurts, and to know that the feeling is mutual is just… the greatest thing that could ever happen to you.

You pressed your lips against his, both of you smiling into the kiss as your hands played with the back of his neck, training the lines of the condor tattoo. His hands quickly found their way to your waist, rounding it as he lifted you off the ground and spun you around the soaked marble floor.

Ashton broke the kiss when he put you down once again “Wanna get out of here?” He asked, smiling.

You nodded as you let him guide you outside the building.

The cold air of the city made you shiver as soon as you stepped foot on the streets, Ashton quickly gave you his jacket, which was a sweet gesture even though it made no difference since it was soaked as well.

“Let’s head back home” He said, placing an arm around your shoulders.

“Thought you had a whole night planned?” You asked, not wanting to discourage him.

“Yeah.. but that already went to the dogs. We can’t go anywhere in this state” He chuckled, making you laugh as well “And besides, someone once told me that the most important thing is that we get to spend time together. So as long as we do that, every plan is a great plan, don’t you think?”

You hummed softly “Must be a very wise person”

“Very much so. And beautiful. And funny. And hot as hell…”

“Wow, really?” You asked sarcastically.

“Extremely”

“I must meet them someday”

Ashton laughed and pulled you closer to him. Never wanting to let you go.

*************************************************

The drive home was peacefully quiet, both of you content with each other’s company, the radio filled in the silence and the traffic lights gave the atmosphere an ethereal feeling. You knew this was one of the moments where words were unnecessary, one of those moments to put away in a little box and opening it for a rainy day. It was a moment of love and peace. A true treasure.

Once you are home, you open the door as soon as Ashton stops the car, expressing your dire need of a hot shower “Can I join?” Asked Ashton as he took the key out of the engine tab.

“Always” You winked at him.

He chucked, making the car keys fall from his grip “Aw shit, go ahead love. The keys are in the pocket of my jacket”

Ashton heard you mutter an okay as he bent down to grab the car keys from the floor. Realizing a moment too late that there was something else in his pocket that night.

“Ashton…”

Oh shit.

“A-Ash, wha-“ you stuttered, holding a little blue velvet box in your hand.

He rushed to you, quickly grabbing the object from your hands “Oh shit, uuh” he gulped, starting to panic “I-I, fuck. I didn’t- Oh fuck it”

In a matter of seconds, Ashton fell on one knee. He grabbed your hand delicately as he looked into your eyes. He took a deep breath and gained the courage he was trying to master since the beginning of the evening.

“I honestly didn’t expect to do this on the porch of our house. I had everything planned. The fancy dinner, the gallery, countless other romantic activities we could’ve done tonight… as you can see nothing went as planned. I tried so hard to find the perfect moment to say this, but there isn’t such a thing. There isn’t because I know that every moment that I get to spend with you is the perfect moment.

Y/N, I love you. I have loved you from the moment I laid my eyes on you, and I haven’t stopped since. I find myself falling harder for you everytime you smile or you laugh, god I would give anything to make you laugh every single day of my life. You are the smartest person I know and I love hearing you talk about the topics that make you happy, wishing I could be one of them. Y/N you are… kind, you are funny, you are the most patient and resilient person I’ve ever known. Baby, you are my everything and I don’t know… I don’t want to know what I’d do without you.

I want you with me, always and forever. I want to be yours in more ways than one. I want to cherish you and be able to call you my wife, my love, my world. Everything I have, everything I am is yours. You make me a better person and you just make me the happiest man on earth just by staying by your side.

I’m yours, Y/N. In every possible way. Will you be mine? Will you-“

“Yes.” You said breathlessly through the tears.

“Yes?”

“Yes! Ashton, yes! A million times, yes”

You pulled him up from the floor and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him like your life depended on it.

Ashton cupped your face in his hands and deepened the kiss, parting your lips as you both melted to one another.

“I love you” he said, breaking the kiss to slide the ring onto your finger.

“I love you more”

He chuckled “Not possible”

You barely make it through the door before you are kissing him again, not being able to stand even a few more seconds without being close to him. Your heart is beating faster than ever, almost bursting out of your chest as you tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling it slightly in a desperate need to have him even closer.

“Fuck, baby” Ashton groans, cupping your ass and squeezing it as you jump and wrap your legs around his waist “You don’t know what you do to me” he said planting kisses all over your jaw, marking up a trail down your neck.

You moaned as you felt his lips sucking your sweet spot. Ashton had you pressed against the wall, his mouth clashing with yours, feeling every inch of your bodies as you battled for dominance. You let one of your hands fall and travel to where your lower halves meet, palming his growing erection and earning a low moan from him. With your other hand, you tug on his hair and whispered in his ear “Show me”

In an instant, Ashton dropped you to the floor and picked you up bridal style, making your way to your shared bedroom. He gently put you down on the bed and kneeled down in front of you.

He slowly started to undo the straps on your shoes, kissing your legs from your ankles to your knees in an agonizing pace before moving to the other one.

“So beautiful..” He said, sliding his hands up your body, removing your clothes in the process.

“Ash..” you whined. Pulling him by the collar of his shirt and disregarding it completely, bringing your lips together. You moaned into the kiss when you felt his fingers brush through your sides, leaving a burning trail of goosebumps wherever he touched.

“Where’d you want me, baby?” He said, kissing down your body, leaving marks wherever he could, stopping just right above your hip bone. You shivered when his fingers traced along your panties, adding pressure where you needed him most “You’re so wet, my love” He whispered as he hooked his thumbs on the side of them and pulled them off completely. His fingers running up and down your folds collecting your wetness and using them as lube “All of this for me?”

“Yes” You breathe heavily, moaning as you feel one of his fingers slip inside you.

“What was that, Princess?” He teased, kissing the inside of your thighs.

“All for you, Ash. All for-“ You moaned as he inserted another finger inside your hole, setting a pace that already made you see starts “Ash… please” you begged.

“Please what, Princess?”

“I need you”

Ashton presses his lips to your clit, kissing and sucking it as his fingers curled up inside you. Your hand made its way to his hair, fingers locking with his curls as you tugged on them, holding him in place.

You let out a pornographic moan when his fingers brush your g spot, bucking your hips when you felt that tight knot in your stomach, but Ashton put his arm above your hips and held you down. You whispered as you felt him groan against your sex, sending vibration all over your body.

“You’re close, aren’t ya?” Ashton said as he quickened the pace of his fingers “I can feel you clenching around my fingers, baby. C’mon, let go. Let me hear you, baby” He attached his lips to your clit once again, sucking it hard as your orgasm hit you, moaning his name as you came down from your high.

Ashton kneeled down on the bed, bringing his fingers to his mouth “Mmh” he moaned as he tasted your juices “Baby, you’re exquisite”

You quickly sat up as well, smacking your lips against his. Humming into the kiss as your hands started to unbuckle his pants and lowered them down just enough to palm him through his boxers, already feeling the precum leak through the thin fabric. Ashton let out a low moan at your touch, dropping his hand to stop yours.

“But-“

“Later, Princess” He said, bringing your hand to his lips, kissing it softly “I need to be inside you”

And with that, he pressed his arm around your waist and flipped you over so you were on top of him. You quickly caught his idea as you started tugging down his pants and boxers, taking them off completely,

“You don’t know how many times I imagined this” Ashton hissed when you speed your legs to each side of his hips, starting to grin on his cock with your bare sex, coating it with your wetness and moaning with delight “You riding me wearing this” He said, grabbing your left hand and kissing your new ring “And only this”

Your eyes were fixed on him as you stroke his cock and lined it up with your entrance “And how was it?” You asked in a teasing tone.

He smirked “Just like this” Ashton said, grabbing you by each side of your hips and slowly entering you until he bottomed down “Fucking fantastic”

You moaned at the stretch, loving how every inch of him filled you up and made you feel whole. Ashton groaned when he felt your walls clench around his cock, letting you adjust to him before you started to move and setting up a pace.

You started rocking on him, lifting your hips up and down his length as your hands flew to his chest for leverage, nails digging on his skin and leaving marks for you to trace later, a faint memory of the night that Ashton would treasure forever. Your moans grew louder and louder as you started going faster, Ashton’s name became a mantra to your lips as you started chasing your own pleasure.

Ashton grunted and moaned praises to you, stretching his hands so he could cup your breasts in each one “So fucking right, princess” he said, squeezing your boobs while his thumbs brushed your nipples “So. Fucking. Good. And all mine”

You moaned loudly at his actions. The feeling of him suddenly becoming too much as he lets go of your breast and grabs you by the hips once more, meeting your thrust and fucking you harder.

“Say you’re mine” He moaned, digging his fingers into your skin, applying a pressure that will leave bruises later on.

“Ah- a I’m yours! I’m yours” You said between your panting and your moans. Letting your upper half fall onto him, placing your arms at each side of his face as you let him take control.

“Yeah, baby... Fuck” He groaned in your ear as he speed up the pace, feeling his release approach with yours “You’re mine. My wife. My princess. My everything.. Fuck”

“Ashton…” You whined.

“Come baby, come on my cock. C’mon, I’m right behind you” Ashton said, bringing his lips to yours for a messy kiss, sticking your moans as you came all over his cock.

You felt dizzy as Ashton fucked you through your orgasm, your whole body trembling against him as he chased his own release. Ashton’s body tensed, his thrusts became sloppier as your walls clench around him, making his cock twitch inside you and filling you with his cum.

You both sighed heavily, content in your own pleasure as you slowly started making out again. Soft kisses and touches mixed with reassuring words of love filled the room as your post orgasmic daze faded away. Ashton carefully pulled out of you and made his way to the bathroom, bringing with him a small wet cloth to clean you up, peppering kisses all over your body as he did so.

Once he was done he laid in bed next to you, pulling you to his chest and kissing your forehead.

“You make me the happiest man on the planet” He whispered, not wanting to break the comfortable silence between the two of you “Fuck, baby. I’m so glad you said yes”

“Was there another option?” You chuckled “Did you really think I would’ve said no?”

“To be honest, I was a little worried you might” He laughed “It seems stupid now but I was so pissed earlier, I wanted to propose on the restaurant but then I messed up, then I thought that the gallery would’ve been a better option anyways and it ended up beign-“

“One of the best dates of my life?” You interrupted him. Ashton looked at you confused “I had fun today, Ash. I had a great time just being with you and having our own little chaos. And even if you decided to proposed at that McDonald’s I would’ve said yes regardless” You said, placing a small kiss to his lips “Though I’m still pissed about the game”

Ashton raised his eyebrows “Oh! That reminds me,” He got out of bed and started looking through the clothes that were laying on the floor for his cellphone. Once he found it he came back up and took a picture of your hand with the engagement ring, turning to you with a shit eating grin “I win”

“What?”

“I found the lady with the diamond ring!” He said excitedly. You slapped him in the chest “Ouch!”

“So you did cheat!”

“In my defense I was going to propose right there and there” Ashton said in as a matter of fact way “I was trying to be romantic”

You rolled your eyes and curled up to him, placing a soft kiss to his chest. His arms wrapped around you and traveled along your back, caressing it softly as you drifted to sleep.

“Y/N?” He whispered after a while.

You hummed “Yes?”

“I can’t wait to marry you”

You smiled into his embrace “I can’t wait to marry you, either”

347 notes · View notes

ghostbustermelanieking · 4 years

Text

oddly specific memories i have of listening to tma

in honor of the finale, and because i am a sentimental asshole, i bring you this potentially uninteresting and completely pointless list. i'm gonna miss this show a lot

half my original reasoning for listening to the podcast was to motivate me to walk on the treadmill. this did not work. but i did it the first time, when i was going through the trailers and anglerfish, and i remember the room where my dad keeps the treadmill is really dark and the spooky chanting sort of freaked me out

after the treadmill, i ended up listening to the bulk of the first four episodes on the couch, and halfway through i let my oldest cat, winnie, who always lived outside (i know, i was very against actually keeping her outside) in the house. and she jumped up on the couch with me, which she literally never did. (she was very grumpy and not super affectionate.) i had that cat since i was five, and she passed last june, and i really miss her. quarantine kind of gave us the opportunity to hang out with her a lot, because we were home so much. so i'm glad these memories are kind of intersected in my mind. (below: a pic i have from that day.)

my friend sarah relistened along with me the first time around, which was extraordinarily sweet of her, and also led to some interesting interactions. for example: she forgot when it was revealed that sasha was dead, so she accidentally spoiled that for me when i asked when the others would find sasha (and i spent all of season 2 just like. anxiously vibrating over this fact). she also made this post, when i was still in like early first half of season 1, and my immediate thought was "oh no martin is dead." i hadnt even MET martin at this point

back in early quarantine, my mom had this rule that we had to do something new every day (to keep away the depression... ha ha). anyways, all i wanted to do in my free time was sit around and listen to tma (and also watch this show i was into on netflix), so i came up with some lame excuses, one of which was "i'll give myself a pedicure." this led to the memory i ultimately associate with mag 56 (trevor herbert 2) being me sitting out on our roof balcony thing, giving myself a horrendous pedicure

another time, my family wanted to go play tennis, and they brought me along and brought a hammock for me to lay in. there was this excess material from the hammock, and the sun was in my eyes, so i ended up pulling it up and over me to block the sun and creating this ridiculous hammock cocoon thing. one of the episodes i listened to that day? "tucked in."

before i ever started the show, my friend sarah stayed with me while i was pet sitting. i remember when she got there, she'd just listened to 150 and was telling me how freaky it was (she was still trying to get me into the show), and she was like "of course we're staying on a CUL DE SAC." (that was also the weekend she watched us for the first time and was very upset because i slept through the whole thing, which is scary when you're staying somewhere by yourselves.) anyways, i spent the whole show waiting for the scary cul de sac episode

while i was listening to the show for the first time, my step-dad (an artist) started painting an EYE on the door downstairs near my bathroom. a fucking EYE. he didn't finish it til i had finished the show. but still weird!!

i binged like 12 episodes in one day to finish season 4, which is not impressive at all, but it's still my personal record. i just remember staying up late in my dark bedroom (til like.... 11 i'm lame and i go to bed early), listening to like 158 & 159 & 160 and just being knocked on my ass by how good it all was... i was SUPER spoiled by this point, through my own fault, and i knew exactly what was coming, but actually experiencing it was nuts

the second week i listened live was 167, where the public release was delayed by a couple hours by accident. i spent like 20 minutes refreshing spotify, thinking it was broken, before going on tumblr and seeing what the deal was. (and 167 remains one of my favorites of s5 because i remember just going "thank god it was worth the wait.")

this one car ride where sarah and i made some of our friends listen to the first three episodes of the show. it was the middle of the night and we were just like blasting down i40 listening to anglerfish and do not open etc

the night the what the ghost episode publicly dropped was the night after my graduation, and i was sleeping out on the couch in the living room so my grandfather could sleep in a bed. it was super dark, and i am a jumpy person, and i Remember being mildly disgusted with myself because the corny sound effects were actually freaking me out. (i think i mightve actually seen something weird that night, maybe, but that's another story.)

the weekend my parents moved me into college, we couldn't get the cable in the house we were staying in, and we were all sitting around doing nothing, so i jokingly suggested starting tma with them, and they were like ok grace. my step-dad promptly fell asleep and my mom zoned out -- which is probably good, she doesn't like horror and she's super claustrophobic, so it's probably better we never got to do not open

my brief roommate in college talked about how she was into those youtube channels where people just read scary stories, so of course i was like try tma out. so she listened to the first episode on her own, and we were out one night, and she started mag 02 while i went into an ice cream place. she was into it (she kept being like open it, ya pussy) and wanted to keep listening while we went home, and even back in our room. i had only been in town for a couple weeks, and barely knew my way around, but i also didn't want to turn the gps on and be interrupted every five seconds. so i tried to find our way back on my own. it took the entirety of mag 03, and into mag 04, before i did it. so now i will forever associate across the street with all those wrong turns i took in a dark, semi unfamiliar city, trying to get back to our college without a gps

the day of the early drop for 179 was the day i moved back home from college -- a five hour drive by myself. i ended up listening to it on the final stretch of the trip, when i was super tired and it was dark and i knew it'd probably be a crazy episode. just me full blasting down i40, drinking an energy drink (which i never do) through a hole punched in the top, listening to daisy's death

186 early dropped the day after initial u.s. election day (when we still didn't know anything). my mom had set up a "watch party" in the living room with these giant air mattresses, and we all sort of spent the day crowded around the TV watching the numbers. not much of a memory, but i remember sitting on that air mattress and listening to martin's monologue in the midst of that messy week

i had a virtual therapy appointment on the day of 187's early drop, and my dad was home, so i drove to an empty parking lot to do the session in some privacy. i was trying to listen to the episode before the session started, so i ended up listening to the last half sitting in my car, in the pouring rain, just staring at my radio in shock (187 remains one of my favorite s5 episodes)

my friend sarah had just come home for winter break the day 189 dropped, and we decided to listen together, just like driving around in circles drinking coffee and listening and speculating on whether or not that was really martin

i started my relisten right after thanksgiving and was just kind of blowing through fast as i could through the whole of december. i had to go back to college to empty out my dorm, and i went to the beach after, and i ended up listening to mag 11 while just like walking around in circles in the tide pools. the closer it got to christmas, the more christmassy i wanted to keep things, so i would like. listen in the mornings and turn on one of those Netflix fireplaces and get all cozy

my other friend went with me on a mini bagel road trip in december, and he was still trying to get caught up, so we listened to mag 169, 170, and 171 on the drive home. (by this point, i was accustomed enough to s5 and smiting scenes to automatically reach for the volume controls when jude perry and jared hopworth died.)

when i relistened to mag 47, i was sitting with my cat beezus. i paused the episode to write this big long meta, so i was in a different headspace when i pressed play again. jon immediately yelled for sasha and i immediately jumped, and beezus gave me a searing glare and just got up and left

i relistened to piecemeal while i was cooking, which i thought was kind of funny and also disgusting

after christmas, i got into the habit of bringing my cat georgia into my room in the mornings, and she'd crawl under the covers with me while i listened to tma

one story i've always liked to tell from my first listen is how when i first listened to the meat arm grinder episode, my dad asked me to help him cook hamburgers later that day and explained how hamburgers are ground up (to my disgust). i hit meat grinder in my relisten and um. you'll never fucking guess what i made for lunch that day

so i had all these arbitrary rules for myself when i started tma last april, and i've broken like all of them. i started listening to tma while virtually working -- you just pull it up on your computer and it works. (i got the life scared out of me when one of my coworkers started talking over the podcast, wondering who it was that had walked into jon's office and why he wasn't reacting and why i didn't remember it.) i also started listening a lot while driving, which led to several long meta posts i wrote being typed up in a parking lot somewhere

i spent the entirety of 194 anxious-cuddling georgia. (i tried to do this for 198 and then didn't have any anxiety to cuddle her over.) i fully plan on doing this for 200, where i am sure i will need it again

my favorite place to listen to tma probably ended up being the roof room at my mom's, and unless something goes awry, this is where i will listen to the finale. (with georgia, of course.)

this list is super uninteresting, like i said, but here it is. i'm gonna miss this show a lot. i can't wait to return to it, later in life, and make all new listening memories in the process

#the magnus archives #personal #food mention tw #pet death tw

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xyomarasworld · 3 years

Text

How I wished Luka's second akumatization would have played out.

I really wish they would use Luka as something other than a love interest. He has so much potential. So, I decided to write a little fanfiction about what I think would happen if Anarka (Luka and Juleka's mom) told Luka and Juleka who their father was. I hope you enjoy!

Luka's POV:

As I walked into my room to grab my guitar for band practice, I noticed Juleka looking sad on her bed. "Hey, Jul, what's wrong? We have band rehearsal today." I said. I walked towards her and sat on her bed. She let out a sigh. "Today is june 20th." She said. I was confused. "And the problem here is?" I asked. She looked at me with tear filled eyes. Oh no. "Today is father's day!" She said in a breaking voice. Oh yeah, that's right.

Our father had abandoned our mother when we were too young to remember. That's all she had told us about him. He hadn't kept in touch with us in any way. He hadn't even sent us as much as one lousy birthday card. "Juleka, believe me, I know how you feel." She looked at me in a funny way. "He's my father too after all." Juleka wiped away her tears. "Oh yeah." I put my arm around her. "Look, Jul, I really do know how you feel." It sucks to never know the person who gave you life."

"You wonder what you ever did to make him resent you. You wonder what kind of person would abandon their own child. And worst of all..." I took my arm off of my sister's shoulders as I began to tear up as well. "Worst of all, you wonder, if your own father didn't want you, will anyone else ever want you?" I said while crying. Juleka put her hands on my shoulders to try to comfort me. I suddenly heard someone let out a long and heavy sigh.

We both turned to see our mother standing in the doorway. "Mom? What are you doing here? What's wrong?" Juleka asked. Our mother walked closer towards us. "I knew I couldn't keep it a secret from you two forever." She said with her heavy Scottish accent. "I can't stand seeing you two suffer anymore. It's time I told you kids the truth." Juleka and I exchanged a worrisome glance. We both knew we were in for a roller coaster of emotions.

✧✦≻───── ⋆✿⋆ ─────≺✦✧

I couldn't believe my ears. "Exactly how long were you intending on keeping this a secret from us?" I asked in a fit of rage. "I was waiting until you were old enough." Our mother said trying to defend herself. I groaned. "Why didn't you tell us my father was a world renowned rockstar?!" I yelled. Our mother bowed her head in shame. "I wanted that aspect of my life to stay in the past." I crossed my arms. "So, you were only trying to make yourself happy." Our mom looked like she was about to break into tears.

Juleka chimed in. "Woah, woah. There's no need to take your anger out on mom." I gave my sister a furious look. "I can't believe this. You're actually going to take her side. This woman has been lying to us for years." Juleka looked shocked. "Listen, Luka, I..." "No, don't even say it, sis. The damage is done. I want both of you to get out of my room right now!" "But I didn't do anything. And it's my room too..." "I said get out!" I yelled in a voice so loud, I was sure everyone upstairs heard me.

My mother and sister left the room. My mom took a good long look at me before closing the door. I felt anger and sadness boiling inside of me simultaneously. I looked up at my Jagged Stone poster taped to the wall. My mind just refused to believe that the same man I had looked up to for so many years, had been the same man who had abandoned my mother. I fell to my knees and bursted into tears. My cries were the last thing you could hear before a purple and black butterfly flew into my room and into my bracelet.

The end.

Author's note.

So, this was one of my first miraculous ladybug fanfictions ever and as I said earlier I really hope you enjoyed it. For those of you who stuck around til the end, you deserve a reward. So, here's a picture of Luka I made in anime avatar creator. I hope you like it!

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug luka #miraculous juleka #miraculous ladybug fanfiction

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qtheronie · 4 years

Text

Dazais ill-fortune

Warnings; fluff to angst, mention of death, some cuss words.

Yuh girl back at it again with some angst!

And I’m sorry if this is super crappy and if you find grammar errors, the thing I use to help with my writing has disowned me!

My goal in life was to get enough money to buy a cure for my mother's sickness. So that's why I started working at the armed detective agency. I became friends with a man named Osamu Dazai then soon became lovers. I’ve made so many friends and memories apon working here. My first memory was when I first met Osamu

{February 14th, past.}

I pulled the doors open to mine and my boyfriend's favorite cafe. As I walked in, I was greeted by one of my ideal workers, Amani Takahashi. She immediately grabbed two menus and walked me towards my usual booth.

She had sat me down and grinned, she pulled out her little notebook and grabbed the pencil from her ear and asked me what to drink.

“The usual?” she asked, and I nodded in return. “And for the special boy?”

“The usual for him as well, a black coffee.”

Amani smiled and scribbled down the request and ran off to the kitchen. I had pulled out my phone and looked at the time. (7:30) It flashed. I sighed and turned off my phone, waiting for him to come.

Amani came back with our drinks and set them onto the table. She pulled out her little notebook again and asked if I was ready to order. But I told her no and to wait for (Boyfriend's name) to show up. The waitress nodded and put her notebook back into her pants and walked off to more customers.

Thirty minutes had now passed, and they're still was no sign of him showing up. I let out a soft groan and rested my hand on my cheek and looked out the window. ‘He’s going to show up! I know he will, I just need to wait.’

I sighed and looked at my phone, an hour had passed and still no trace of him. Not even a text. The bell on the door to the cafe had rung, making my head peep up. I was hoping that it was him, but it was a boy with shaggy brown hair with bandages wrapped around his arms and face making it look like he was heavily injured. I cringed at the scene and wished that he was doing okay.

He looked over at my way and made eye contact with me; he showed a soft smile as I did in return. I felt a notification go off on my phone, which caused me to break eye contact with the boy and look down at my phone.

I had received a text message from (boyfriend's name). I smiled a bit. I opened my phone and went into his contact and called him, which he picked up seconds later.

“Hey!” I heard his voice from the other line, “I'm sorry that I didn't show up today. I was uh, a little busy.”

The small smile on my face had dropped. Of course, he was busy. He always is.

“It's okay. I should’ve known that you were busy.” I was going to ask him if we could replan, but I heard the faint voice of a woman. “Are you at work?”

“No, I’m at home. Why?”

Now, I didn’t want to be one of those girlfriends who assumes that your partner is cheating on you, but why was there a voice of a woman on the other line? I shake my head at my thoughts and respond to him.

“No reason, just making sure you’re safe.”

There was that voice again, but this time it was louder and was calling out to (Boyfriend’s name).

“(boyfriend’s name), is anyone with you?”

“No.” He responded, “God, you’re getting nosy.”

“Oh- uh sorry, I was just wondering.”

“No, you think I have a girl over don’t I?”

Well yea kinda, I’m not dumb I heard a voice. I thought.

“No! Of course not.”

“I know you’re thinking that I do, you think I'm cheating on you?”

“(boyfriend’s name)-” But I was too late, he hung up.

I set my phone down on the table roughly and curled my hands. Tears threatened to fall out of my eyes as time passed. I folded my arms on the table and let my head fall. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to prevent tears from falling.

“Whats a beautiful lady like you sitting here all by yourself and crying due to boyfriend issues” I heard a voice ask. I lifted up my head to see that same man who I saw earlier. I quickly wipe away my tears and straighten my back.

“How did you-” I started but was quickly cut off.

“Waitress” the strange man called, “Can I get a cup of wine, and this beautiful young lady a?”

“You don’t need to get me anything, i'm good.”

“Please, I hate to see such a pretty face cry. So Please, what would you like?”

I looked at the man shyly and then told him what I wanted, “A strawberry milkshake, please” The waiter smiled and took note and left to the kitchen.

“Why are you doing this? We don’t even know each other.”

“Well, we can solve that problem! I am Osamu Dazai”

Osamu Dazai, I thought. He looks like one. I look at Dazai once again. Now I can see more detail of what he looks like. He had gorgeous brown eyes that somewhat matched the pale color of his skin. He has bandages wrapped around his arms and face. He had also had a little gauze patch on his cheek and was even wearing a black trench coat.

“Well, m’lady, you have a name right?” Dazai asked, breaking me out of my train of thought.

“Oh yea, sorry. My name is (Your name), (Last name).”

{Present}

That was the day that I had met Osamu Dazai, valentines day. Where my boyfriend couldn’t join me because he was busy with some girl or something. I’m almost glad that (boyfriend’s name) didn’t come. Dazai made me realize that I didn’t need such a person that I didn’t need someone who didn’t love me. Cause one day, he's going to wake up and notice that he should’ve tried. And that I was worth the fight.

The only person I needed was Osamu.

That brings us up to the next important memory I had of Osamu.

{ May 30th, past }

“Osamu, how much longer am I going to have to wait?” (Your name) asked, trying to adjust her seat in the car while being blindfolded. “My butt hurts.”

(Your name) heard the man beside her chuckling before the car came to a stop. “You don’t need to wait any longer! I shall come and save you, my belladonna.” Dazai unbuckled his seat belt and got out of his car. He then opened the door on (Your names) side and carefully helped her out.

He grabbed onto her hand and led her through what felt like sand. “Osamu Dazai, I swear if you’re going to try to make me commit double suicide with you, then I am not interested.”

Dazai once chuckled again, “Don’t worry. It’s not going to be a double suicide this time. Though I wish you would just let me die in your arms, then I would be at peace.” he slightly pouted.

“You know, if I wasn’t blindfolded I might’ve just happened to take that offer”

“My sweet belladonna, would you really!?” Dazai’s eyes had lightened up in excitement.

“Just kidding.” Dazai groaned and mumbled a few words under his breath.

After a few minutes of walking they were finally there. Dazai had (Your name) stay in place as he stood behind her and untied her blindfold. The girl felt Dazais fingers slowly untie the knot. Soon light quickly invaded her face making her squint as she slowly started to adjust her eyes to the new light her and mouth dropped.

He had taken her to the beach. He knew that she loved midnight walks on beaches so when he finally got some free time from the agency he would take her to the beach at midnight. And then confess what he longed to do. His love.

“You might wanna close your mouth before bugs get in.”

(Your name) chuckled and slapped his chest playfully, she then felt dazais back press onto her chest. He wrapped his arms around her figure and rested his face between her neck and shoulders. (Your name) rested one hand on top of dazais, and the other went up into his hair. “My, my, someone's affectionate tonight.” Dazai left an “mhm” for a response. His grip onto her waist had grown tighter as if someone were to take her away from him. He buried his head deeper between her neck and shoulders and let out a soft I love you. He wasn’t thinking that he was going to get a response, but when (Your name) said that she loved him too, his world stopped.

Dazai took a deep breath and pulled away from (your name) and made her turn around. Dazai closed his eyes and let out a sigh before starting. “Maybe it was your laugh, or your eyes or your smile. It could’ve been your hair, or your voice, or your personality. Whatever it was, it made me fall. Pretty damn hard.”

“Osamu-”

“I love you. I don’t ask you to reciprocate the feeling. All I ask you is to respect what I feel. Because falling for you was never something I planned.” Dazai had finished, he had a small spark of hope that the girl who he felt so desperately in love with would return the feelings, but her silence was beginning to make him doubt the little faith he had.

“(your name),” He started, “I'm sorry-” But he was quickly cut off as he felt her lips on his.

(Your name) had placed her hands on both sides of his cheeks and pulled away but close enough that she felt his breath on her lips. “I love you,” she said before placing another kiss on his lips before pulling back. “Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason.” and she kissed him again but this time it was longer.

Dazai had put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer to him, then he pulled back from the kiss.

“Then would you do me the favor of becoming the one who I can commit a double suicide with?”

“Depends.” (Your name) giggled, “will you become my boyfriend?”

Dazai smirked and kissed her again, “I think you already know the answer to that, belladonna”

{Present}

Now, we’ve come along this far, and you’re probably thinking that I fulfilled the goal I had for my mother and married Osamu.

No.

Everybody has their share of life before they have to leave.

So this is the last important memory I had of Osamu, the day I died.

{June 19th, past}

We were walking down the road hand in hand when it happened. If it wasn’t for (your names) special ability, it wouldn’t have been dazai instead of her.

A white-looking car had sped down the road with the windows down with two men in it, the driver and the passenger with the gun. As the car drove past the two couple (Your names) ability had activated, making the world slow down. She had looked to the left where dazai had been at, which was next to the car. The person in the passenger seat had fired the gun rapidly. The girl let go of dazais hand and latched on to his arm, making him stumble back, making him nearly missing the bullets.

This wasn’t (your names) plan, her plan was to take him home and grant him his wish and start a family with him. It also wasn’t her plan to get shot at either.

(Your names) ability has disactivated making the car sped off and dazai falling to the ground with (your name) on him.

“(Your name)!” She heard dazai scream her name. He quickly got off the ground and pick (your name) up and into his arms.

She had felt dazais chest rise up and down quickly, and his grip on her tighten as he runs. The girl looked up at her boyfriend, gazing at his face that had the sheer look of panic.

“Osamu.” (Your name) whispered, she lifted her hand and caressed his cheek. “I’m not going to make it.”

This caused dazai to look down at the girl, tears running down his face. “No! Don’t say that, we’re so close to the agency! Yasono will help you! She’ll heal you!”

(Your name) smiled and coughed out a little blood, “Osamu, you know I love you. I love you so much, so very much.”

“Please just a little longer! I can see the agency from here!” Dazai cried. He was never like this, but he couldn’t care less that people could see him scream and cry. The love of his life, his girlfriend, his soon to be wife, and his baby (pet name), was dying in his arms.

“Osamu, you’re..so..strong..” (your name) whispered, letting her hand slowly fall from his face.

Dazai got to the building where the agency was, and kicked the door open, “yosano!” Dazai yelled, which to his luck, the doctor rushed out of her office.

She looked at the boy with the girl in his arms and ushered him into her office. Dazai had set the girl onto the bed and backed up, letting the female doctor take over.

It had only been an hour or two, but to dazai, it felt like the entirety. Yosano had opened the door and looked at dazai with pain in her eyes. Dazai stood up from his seat and ran into the room, and there she was. On a bed, she was barely breathing. He knew that it was only going to be a bit until she had to go.

He walked to her bed and sat on the chair beside her. Dazai reached over to (your names) hand and held it. He then placed his other hand on the side that he was holding and brought it up to his head, “Of course I’m strong. I’m your..your Osamu.” He finally spoke, answering (your names) response from before.

He had heard (your name) slightly and quietly giggled. She turned her head and lifted her unoccupied hand and placed it on dazais cheek. “That’s right. You’re my Osamu. Don’t ever doubt your strength even though you don’t feel it.”

“I love you (your name)! You can’t leave me, please. I don’t know what I would do without you!”

“Osamu..”

“If you’re going to leave me, then at least let me come with you!”

“No Osmau..it isn’t your time yet.”

“Please..” he cried out

(Your name) grabbed his hand and pressed his palm agasint her lips, “I love you so much.”

Dazai had let go of her hand and placed his on her cheek, rubbing his thumb on her cheekbone. “I love you too”

“I’m glad that I get to die by your side. I do.” (Your name) smiled, and used the last of her strength to kiss the man she loved so much, dazai quickly pressed a hand on her back and head.

Dazai pulled back to look at the girl “(your name)?” Dazai asked, but got no response. He slowly laid her down. “You promised (your name).” He mumbled, “you promised that you would commit double suicide with me.” Dazai looked down at the women he loved and grabbed her cold hand. “But you forget that you can’t do a double suicide alone.”

{present}

This is the end of my story, the story that took so long to start and finish too fast.

We learn that some stories just don’t have happy endings, and sometimes that’s okay, cause one day you’ll meet again.

END

Haha, thank you for reading this long angst and sucky book. This took me about a week to complete, and this is the longest story I have ever written.

Quotes I used: “you’re..so..strong..” “Of course I’m strong. I’m your..your..” -Mikhail and yuliy, Sirius the jaeger.

“Maybe it was your laugh, or your eyes or your smile. It could’ve been your hair, or your voice or your personality. Whatever it was, it made me fall. Pretty damn hard.” -unknown

“I love you. I don’t ask you to reciprocate the feeling. All I ask you is to respect what I feel. Because falling for you was never something I planned.” -unknown

“Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason.” -unknown

(I got all of my quotes on Pinterest)

Big thanks to @xxxlilacskiesxxx skiesxxx for letting me use your Oc, Amani Takahashi.

And a big thanks to @tea-memes for helping me correct this and giving me ideas for this. Big help :)

#bsd-one-shot #bungou stray dogs #anime #writing #reader insert #bsd #dazai osamu #dazaibsd #dazai x reader #dazaia x reader angst #angst #bsd osamu #osamudazai #bungou sd

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thegoddessofliterature · 4 years

Text

A pretty long spoiler-filled reveiw of ACOMAF

-posted this reveiw on my goodreads around June and decided to share it now on Tumblr.

Reread this gem and love it even more than the first time. Of course, reading a good book for the first time is always special and you don't know any of the plot twists and turns. Not knowing what is gonna happen in a story is my favorite thing about reading. Sarah blew me away with her captivating writing style and amazing world building that left wanting more .The is the first book that made me cry and I don't easily cry in books which just proves my love for this book. Rhysand stole my heart. I just love him so much. I know most of you probably didn't like him in the first book but once you read this one you will change your mind. You can thank me later.

Moving on, let's dive straight into spoilers, if you adored this book as much as me. Most just me gushing over our precious bat boi.

Sarah did a great job at fooling me. Just like Feyre, I was blind to the red flags that displayed the unhealthy and toxic relationship between Feylin. Upon my second read, I could clearly see all the signs and read between the lines and kept thinking "why didn't I realize this sooner?''

I really liked the lesson that the author taught us about unhealthy and healthy relationships. You usually don't see the latter in most NA or even YA. And I despise Tamlin. He is everything that I hate in a man,controlling,abusive and anti feminist. I was so pissed at him for lying to Feyre that Rhys killed his family. The tool himself, had murdered Rhys family and I will never forgive him for that

Me to Tamlin “ I hope that burn..”

I could write a whole essay on professing my love for Rhysand but even that wouldn't be enough for me.

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. He is no 1 on my fictional boyfriends list. No other male character can compare to him.

Just like Feyre, I wasn't expecting him to be the good guy. And, just as she was unaware of falling for him,I was too. I didn't even realize how attached I grew to Rhys until I got a spoiler that he was going to die. I legit got an ache in my heart and felt like crying. That's the beauty of books when a character feels real even they sadly aren't. Thankfully, he survived and if he didn't then I wouldn't have been able to forgive Sarah/

Why do I adore the Highlord of the Night Court?

He is so precious and a major feminist. He is humble and strong ( even when he has been through so much). My heart breaks for him. His story is too emotional for me to read without crying (on my second time reading). Not only did he lose his parents but his sister too. We never got to know how old she was but she was young. We never got to see his mother and baby sister. That makes my heart shatter in a million pieces but as if that wasn't enough, He didn't see his friends for 50 years. He was trapped under the mountain for so long and raped by that bitch and he endured it just to protect his city and family (the inner circle). As if he didn't have enough on his plate, he watched Feyre be taken away from him twice. He watched the girl he loved be in love with another man (his enemy who had killed his parents and sister) and yet he let her be happy (even if she was mate). After all of this torture and pain, he is still so kind and sweet and caring. He still think he isn't enough even though he sacrificed so much. He would rather put himself in torture than let something happen to Feyre or the Inner Circle.

And what I love most about him, is the freedom he gave Feyre. He isn't controlling like most men. He trusts Feyre and believes she can fight for herself but he will be there to protect if she needed him. Of course he cares for but isn't overprotective. Their relationship is so pure and healthy and I love it. I love how humble he is. Being the most Powerful HighLord of all the seven courts, you would expect him to be a rich snob but he is far from that.

I loved how much Feyre grew from that naive girl to a strong and badass woman. I could barely recognize her while rereading Acotar. It felt as there were two seperate girls in the two books. This is one of the best character development I have ever seen. My heart broke for what she went through. I could relate to her about some stuff minus the under the mountain scene (ofc). And I was so happy when she survived her depression and ptsd all because of Rhysand.

And I got so attached to whole inner circle, as if they were my family too. And I love Mor more than Amren because I could relate to her too besides the fact how sweet and strong she was

The whole book was a pure joy to read but my favorite parts were Starfall, The Summer Court and Court of Nightmares.

Starfall: It was such a beautiful celebration. Unlike, the ones in the spring court despite its pretty name. I loved the idea of stars falling down from the sky. Everyone was at their happiest. It was also sad to read knowing this was the first Starfall Rhys had after Amrantha. The fact that she knew how much it meant to him and yet she made him service her without his consent and on purpose. My hatred is like a burning sun. Moving on, I squealed at the moment when Mor and Feyre were talking and then Rhys came up behind them. My heart burst of joy when Feyre heard his voice and turned around. He took her to the balcony for her to experience Starfall at its prettiest. They had their cute moments and it was the moment when they were falling in love but didn't admit it yet to each other. Rhys hadn't laughed like that in ages, pure and a real laugh like Feyre hadn't smiled filled with pure joy ever since she was turned into a fae.

Summer Court: I loved Tarquin too. And I enjoyed the feysand moments at the court. Their constant back and forth banter and flirting. That's where the famous quote " To all the stars who listen and the dreams that are answered came from.

Court of Nightmares: This scene was so sexy and made my cheeks turn a deep shade of red. I loved how Rhys gave Feyre a choice whether she wanted to join him and the play the part or stay at home. It was her own choice that made her say " I wanna do it" and yet Rhys still felt guilty. Even when it wasn't like he forced or anything. He would never do that. I enjoyed them teasing each other. I was captivated by Rhys beauty. I love the real Rhys but I lust for the "evil" Rhys, the mask that he wears to protect his loved ones.

And that ending, I wasn't expecting that. I feel bad for those who had to wait a year or more for the next book esp after that gripping yet lovely cliffhanger. I didn't had to since the whole serious was already out. It was emotional even when Feyre was pretending to be in Rhys control. They work well so together. Rhys understood her plan through that bond and he acted so well. ( he actually deserves an oscar for his great acting of a bad guy). Tears rolled down my cheeks when the bond snapped and Feyre fell down to her knees, screaming in pain. Even Rhys. Sara tricked us but I was so grateful for that. That chapter in Rhys pov (the only chapter) was so precious. I was shook when he declared that Feyre is his Highlady and equal and the bond was never broken. It was just the bargain. And I loved how cunning Feyre. She is so smart and badass. Pretending to be in love with Tamlin (her ex), only to take him down along with his court.

This book brings me pure joy and reading it for the second time gave me a different perspective. I noticed things I didn't before. This time, I knew about Rhy's backstory so it was more emotional than the first time. And I didn't think of this sooner but I have a theory that Jurain knew all along that Rhys wasn't Amrantha's whore but was raped by her (sobs and gets angry). Esp, when he mentioned that he was forced to watch everything that bitch did due to the ring she made out of his eye. And he was the only one who was shocked when Feyre was pretending to hate Rhys. He knew since he screamed "What?'' when she told the king to break the bond.

Damn, this is the longest review I have ever written. No regrets though.

If you have read this far, be sure to follow my goodreads for more reviews. Link in my bio.

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renah · 4 years

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Hi Rena! I've always wanted to know why you ship BrazPara and how you view their relationship. I'm genuinely curious bc you can't really touch the topic a lot on your askblogs so maybe you can ramble on your personal blog better, I hope you don't mind the question ^^

Oh hello! Thanks for the message! ^_^

I absolutely do not mind rambling about my otps agsdsfdjs

I’ve never seen meta about this ship before, so why not give my hot take:

I think ParBra* has a lot of potential, either as a romantic pair or platonic I do like romantic more srry they are both nations with a long history and a complex relationship; and I guess I am a sucker for slowburn enemies, to friends, to lovers dynamics and there is a lot of potential for it in the ship as well... And personality-wise, I'm also a sucker for laid back/soft spoken person + energetic/fun-loving person falling for each other and complementing one another. Also I think they have a lot of similar interests ( like... love for food, for football, hating cold weather, both having big San Juan/São João celebrations in June... also they’re both procrastinators, do not seen either of them are really good at being on time lol)

I hardly see fanworks that focus on both nations relationship though unless the parbra stuff is very well hidden somewhere I do not know where asfsks, which was a bit surprising, considering both nations are founding members of the Mercosur, Brazil is Paraguay's biggest trading partner, Paraguay hosts the largest brazilian community outside Brazil in South America and, both nations just so happen to share the ITAIPU, one of the most important hydroelectric dams in the world, also a record breaking in the production of clean energy... so if we're talking about aph-related scenarios... I do think the two of them would hang out a lot.

I like to think that their friendship started to develop in the late 60s/ early 70s, around the time the construction of the Itaipu started, a personal headcanon that I have, is that neither of them really wanted this project go on, or to work together, but as aph has shown us in canon before, the nation-tans have to subdue to their governments and to what their bosses want,(and tbh, Itaipu is a complex subject... everything that led to its construction is worth of a book of its own, but lets save that for another day...) both of them saw each other at their worst in the past, they probably haven't had a proper conversation in centuries, and after such a long time, maybe they both start to realize they might have a lot in common... that they didn't knew much about one another, and maybe they do want to know more? more time passes, maybe they start to actually enjoy each other's company? maybe after decades of working together they start to realize their feelings might be a bit more than friendship? Although for romantic feelings, I can't really see anything happening between them at last up until the late 80s or the 90s.

All in all, I think it can work, and you don't need to gloss over their past history to do so ( the only thing I'd ask people is to be mindful, remember, whenever your writing nations, specially for a historical piece, research is everything).

Sadly... I feel like Paraguay is a nation that is underappreciated, it is often overlooked even here in South America, so I believe this lack of interest also reflects in the lack of aph-related fanworks, I don’t think there are much people interested in writing about/for the nation, but I guess somethings can’t be helped.

As a complement, I highly recommend the reading of "Una relación compleja, Paraguay y Brasil, 1889-1954" by Francisco Doratioto, it is a really good analysis of both nations relationship, how it developed and all its historical context, and it helped me figuring out better placements for some of my own headcanons... it is sadly its available only in portuguese and spanish, sorry people who aren't fluent in these languages :( )

---

*[ note on the name... ParBra... BraPar... ParaBra... BraPara... Parazil... there isn’t a right or wrong way to refer to them... it doesn't really has an "official name"... I tend to use ParBra because... it needed a name and this was the first thing I thought of agsdsfsgks...]

---

TLDR VERSION:

I think ParBra has a lot of potential; they are both nations with a long and complex relationship; I think they would complement each other personality-wise and they have many interests in common, but brasiguayan relations doesn’t get much attention, mostly because Paraguay is a criminally underrated country that not many people know/or are interested in writing about.

ALSO:

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

And for now... this is it.

There are a lot more things I like about them, but I think I’ve talked enough already and this got longer than it should be...

Again, thank you for the question, hope you have a great week! ^_^

#parbra #aph brazil #aph paraguay #hws oc #hws paraguay #hws brazil #rena ramblings #again thank you for the ask and sorry for taking so long in giving you an answer as I haven't been much active on my main blog these past fe #NGL it makes me happy that there are people actually interested in this ship ;_;#I've been in this fandom for 9 years... and parbra related fanworks...? almost none/hard to come by...#justice for parbra20k20 #flopylopez #aph oc

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ruckystarnes · 7 years

Text

AUTHOR: RuckyStarnes

WARNINGS: None

CHARACTERS: Bucky Barnes, OFC - Hazel Hamilton

WORDS: 1,261

Unkept Promises Master List

One | Two | Three

Chapter Two

June 13, 1939

Hazel sat heavily into the hard chair in the small room used for breaks. She was doing her best to keep up with all the injuries that were flooding in the hospital in France. She's been there for just under four months, relocating from England once the war hit outside of Germany and French soldiers started to get injured. She rested her head back, slumping in the chair, and closed her eyes trying to remember a happier time, but it never came.

"Infirmière Hamilton, Dr. Benoit aimerait vous voir," a soft voice came from the door.

"Merci, Margaret," Hazel replied, letting out a sigh. She pushed up from the chair as stood up, smoothing out her white apron and checked to make sure her nurse cap was straight with her hand, smoothing out any of the flyaway hairs. She took a deep breath and walked towards the doctor's office. She wasn't in the mood to pull another shift, even though the patient/nurse ratio was overwhelming already, but if asked, she will agree.

Knocking on the heavy door, Hazel couldn't help but wonder why would the doctor would want to see her. She took care of post-op patients: changing bandages, distributing medication, making them comfortable as possible. She snapped out of her thoughts when a gruff, tired voice sounded.

"Entrez."

Hazel opened the door and saw the balding man sitting behind a simple desk wearing a white button down, black tie loosened and a glass of amber liquid in hand. "Vous vouliez me voir, docteur?" she asked, standing in front of the desk.

"Ah, Hamilton," his accent heavy as he spoke English, his smile sad. He gestured to the chair to her right, which she sat in slowly, her eyes fixed on the middle-aged man. "We've received a telegram from America telling us news of your aunt."

Hazel looked at him perplexed. "I'm sorry, but I do not understand, Doctor. My aunt?" She knew she didn't have an aunt, so she was unsure what he was talking about.

The doctor mistook her confusion as concern as his hand rubbed over his face. "Your aunt, Sarah, has passed, Hazel," he said, his hand rubbing his scruffy cheek. "She contracted tuberculosis while working in a hospital in Brooklyn."

Hazel looked at him, still gawking at the doctor. The only Sarah she knew to be working in Brooklyn was Steve's mother. The realization set in, and the dread of the loss finally showed, making her slump in the chair as tears pricked her eyes. Her mind went straight to Steve , her heart breaking for him and how he was alone now, 'sides Bucky, that's if the brunette was still around.

"Mlle Hamilton?" Dr. Benoit interjected her thoughts, worry evident on his face as he handed her his handkerchief. She took it without question as she could feel the tears that gave away her true feelings. "Hazel, obviously she meant a lot to you," he stated slowly. He was writing something on a piece of paper, then handed it and an envelope to her. "Go home. Be with family."

"Sir!" she exclaimed sitting up straight in the chair, the handkerchief clutched tightly in her hand. "I have rounds and patients to look after."

Dr. Benoit held up his hand to silence her. "It's not an option," he said firmly, "you are relieved of your duties. You have all the papers and currency for your voyage home. Take care of yourself Hazel Hamilton."

She stood up, and straightened her apron as she huffed, throwing the white cloth onto his desk and took the papers and envelope from him. "Il a été un plaisir , docteur," she rushed out to be polite but her tone was anything but.

June 29, 1940

Hazel stood outside the apartment for a good half hour trying to will herself to knock. She's been in Brooklyn for nearly a week now, and she still hasn't seen Steve, unsure if she really wanted to see him. The poor boy had to be devastated; almost twenty-two and no family left for him. It made her heart break. The more she thought about it, the more she began to second guess herself of being there.

"If you're looking for Steve, he's not home," said a voice behind her, making her breath catch in her throat. "Hazel?"

Hazel closed her eyes and breathed deep, counting to ten in her head. Slowly turning around, she opened her eyes to meet the warm brown ones of Bucky. She looked him over: three piece suit, hair slicked back, and the same damn smug look.

"James," she responded with forced confidence.

"When did you get back?" His question felt loaded due to the way his eyes narrowed slightly at her, checking her over as well causing her hand to go up to her head in fear that her pin-curls were noticeable through her scarf. This made Bucky smirk, which in turn, made her angry.

"I don't need to tell you," she vexed as she tried to push past him on the narrow walkway, but to be stopped by his hand on her upper arm. "Let go of me Barnes," she demanded through clenched teeth.

"You know, Mrs. Rollins saw you almost a week ago at her flower shop." He was baiting her, she knew it by the smirk on his face. "She said you bought some bachelor buttons. Coincidence, that's Mrs. Rogers' favorite flower. Even more of a coincidence, I took Steve to the cemetery a few days after Mrs. Rollins said she saw you, and guess what was at her grave?" His narrowed eyes felt like they were looking through her as his grip tightened slightly on her arm.

Hazel looked over to her right watching the laundry on the suspended lines flutter in the wind that raced through the space between the buildings, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay. "I couldn't see him, James," she whispered as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. She felt a tear drop from her eye when she blinked and moved to wipe it away, but Bucky did it for her.

"Hurt too much?" he asked gently, his hand released her arm and rubbed it soothingly.

"More than you can ever know," Hazel whispered. She looked at Bucky out the corner of her eye before she sighed. "She was like a mother to me." The admission made her voice crack as more tears formed. "Steve. He needed me, and where was I? France."

"Hey, you didn't know that she was going to pass while you were gone, Hazel. No one did," Bucky shoved his hands in his pockets, shifting uncomfortably as he was unsure of what to do with her crying.

Hazel opened her clutch and pulled out her white handkerchief, dabbing her eyes as she sniffed. "Sarah took me in when my parents died, James. She's the one that supported me to go overseas, understood why." She put the cloth back into her clutch and straightened her posture. "Don't tell him I was here. Please, James," she begged as she turned to leave.

"He wants to enlist," Bucky muttered causing Hazel to turn back. "He thinks he has nowhere else to go, Hamilton."

She stared at him for a moment, her face like stone. She was fighting the urge to scream as she walked past Bucky. She bent down and picked up a brick by the door, revealing a key. "I'm going to kill him," she uttered as she unlocked the door and walked in.

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #steve rogers x oc #steve rogers x ofc #bucky barnes x ofc #bucky barnes oc #unkept promises #ruckystarnes

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