#bsd-one-shot

[lotus-pear]

intertwined fate

[notenoughgauze]

Throne

MDNI SMUT WARNING AHEAD

He was completely and utterly in love with you. His heart bursts at the mere sight of you. He can’t handle the way your pretty eyes shine up at him when he talks. When he’s alone in his room, he takes the time to imagine you fully. When you say you’re going to take a shower, he imagines stripping and joining you. His mind is owned by you and only you. Good lord and your lips. So kissable it drives him up the walls. He wants to mark his taste along the plush skin. 

You destroyed his very self  with your beauty. He feels like he only could ever exist with you around. When you’re gone, he feels lonely and mopes about the whole house, waiting for you to come back from whatever it is you’ve been doing. He wants nothing more than to keep you in bed and enjoy touches for the whole day, why couldn’t you just do that? Just stay with him! One day is all he asks with those sweet little puppy eyes. He can’t believe it when it finally works and you spend the whole day off with him in bed, just touching,  kissing, and fucking deep and slow. 

“Just give me one taste, just one please baby.” he cries to you, begging to have you sit on his face sometime during the fuckfest you’ve allowed. You’re hesitant, why wouldn’t you be? He just keeps insisting, pleading for your cunt to envelop him completely. Finally when you straddle his face, thick thighs nearly crush his head. You falter, considering if he’d allow you to just hover. You’re afraid to smother him, but of course that's just what he wants. When you take too long, he pulls you down, hands splayed out across your ass and gripping the soft fat tightly, urging you to continue. 

His cock is against his tummy and so hard it looks almost painful. Yet he’s moaning like he could cum just from the taste of you. He wanted to be the throne the pretty goddess sits on to rule. He needed more. Needed everything you would give him. How could you say no to such a sweet display? You give in, letting him have all of you and he takes that opportunity to show you why you’re with him still. He sucks and licks to his heart’s content. Slurping up any juices that come from you. His face is covered in you. God does he love it. He;s engulfed in you fully and he can’t get enough of it. 

Finally he gets that cry, that whine that makes his cock twitch. “I-I’m close.” You scream out, rocking your hips back and forth against him. He feels drunk from it all, working 10x harder to get you to release all over him. To look up and see your eyes roll back in pleasure and your mouth hang open in a silent moan. Of course, he couldn’t help but spill all over himself from the anticipation, moaning into your pussy and sending you over the edge right along with him. His cum coats his tummy, and his cock twitches as it releases everything so pent up. He drinks down your godly nectar and you pull off of him in overstimulation. 

He cleans you both up with a washcloth near the nightstand. He whispers sweet nothings about how he loves you and you did so fucking good for him. That you’re all his and him yours. 

[mqdilen]

⭒ .๋ ࣭ ⊹ ˖ 「𝐟𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞.」

fandom.: bungou stray dogs

synopsis.: you play dumb so dazai explains things to you while you get turned on by it (hot mansplaining, basically)

pairing.: dazai osamu x gn!reader

cw.: !nsfw!, no established relationship, oral sex (dazai ⇢ receiving), vulgar language

genre.: one-shot, no second part

word count.: 1.7k (approximate reading time: six minutes)

note.: AGHHH happy birthday to my sweet angel. (i love dazai more than i love myself) it’s been so long since i’ve posted something, but please, bear with me. i’ve been very busy lately! this one is pretty tame ngl and it is slightly different to my usual writing style, but i just wanted to write something lighthearted, since this stuff comes easier. also, to the anon that requested a yosano fanfic where she’s obsessed with reader’s breast, i haven’t forgotten about you, i promise. (i’m actually so hyped to write this, i just need a good opening.) following updates on my profile!

☪︎

ah, yes, the armed detective agency.

a place full of peculiar minds and dangerous talents, wrapped in coats of good intentions. no one who knows this organization would dare say that it is incompetent or that its detectives are stupid. eccentric, though? oh, definitely.

yet their most innocent member wouldn’t be considered unintelligent either. each and every one of them, including you, has something that characterizes them: a keen intuition like no other, to a greater or lesser extent.

naturally, among your coworkers, there are people whose minds surpass average intelligence, and osamu dazai is one of them. even though it is sometimes hard for you to associate mental agility with dazai—due to his constant childish behavior and his obsession with hiding his true personality under a mask of laziness—you can’t deny that he is terrifyingly smart.

and he is smooth at switching his attitude in just a second, too—going from whining to becoming the strategist able to anticipate the resolution of a series of catastrophic events and how to avoid them. it is intoxicating to see when his smile drops to reveal the seriousness and sharpness he pretends not to possess.

at the same time... well, you also can’t deny that you have a bit of a weakness for men who can blow your mind with nothing but their brain. and dazai, with that quiet, terrifying brilliance of his, has made you think about kneeling between his legs while he maps out some impossibly complex plan more times than you’d like to admit.

still, if there is anything hotter than listening to him explain something, it is listening to him explain it to you. the way his voice lowers just a little, how he leans casually against the nearest surface as he patiently walks you through the answer… it always makes you sigh.

it amuses dazai, really. how someone like you, so sharp, so self-sufficient, still gravitates toward him. he’d caught it early on. the way your breathing changes when he stands too close. the look of adoration in your eyes when he does something you deem clever. the way your pupils dilate when his voice drops to explain something. he sees it all. he always does.

he just pretends not to.

but today? today, he feels indulgent. so when you ask him to explain something fairly simple while everyone else is out for lunch, he doesn’t object.

“here,” he says, leaning in just close enough for his breath to fan your cheek, his palm braced on the desk beside you. he immediately notices how you squeeze your thighs together.

“you need to write that the hostage-taker panicked after his ability triggered unintentionally, and that he didn’t understand the full extent of its effect…”

it wasn’t hard for dazai to realise what you were doing, feigning ignorance on a task you have done thousands of times before. a small smile momentarily crosses his lips, thinking of all the times you looked for an excuse to ask him things.

once again, no one is a fool in the armed detective agency, and you are no exception to the rule—usually being a quick thinker. but you don’t even bother to hide the fact that the report is about a case you resolved two days ago. flawlessly, in fact. it is almost as if you want him to notice. or perhaps... you really aren’t all that smart after all.

your head tilts ever so slightly, as if absorbing the information. but your mind is somewhere else. you glance up at him in confusion, your body tense like it is anticipating something.

dazai smirks quietly to himself. you aren’t fooling anyone. not him, least of all. he has seen this game before, and you are playing it beautifully.

playing dumb? just for the excuse to hear his voice this close?

tsk. naughty.

he lets the silence stretch, watching you chew the inside of your cheek and furrow your brows unconvincingly. then, slowly, dazai shifts. his fingers brush your chin, angling your face toward him with surprising tenderness.

“my, my,” he murmurs, his voice low, silken. “you’re not usually this clumsy. and this isn’t your first report, is it?”

you blink up at him, wide-eyed, guilty in the way only someone caught red-handed can be.

he chuckles softly, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “so… you’re doing this on purpose, huh?”

his tone drops an octave—no longer teasing, not quite threatening, but laced with something else. lust, perhaps?

and just like that, your body betrays you before you even have the chance to stop it. another subtle squeeze of your thighs. a shift in your posture. your composure fractures, and dazai, ever the observer, drinks it all in like fine wine.

before you can respond, he has you standing, pressed up against the edge of your desk with such fluid grace you barely register how you got there. he presses his body against yours, the bulge in his pants noticeable. perhaps he, too, has a weakness for clueless and clumsy pretty little things like you.

“who would’ve thought?” he muses, lips ghosting over your cheek. “our always so independent, so composed newest addition… pretending to be helpless just for a sliver of attention.”

dazai reaches past you, lifting the half-finished report between two fingers. his eyes skim the page like it is some kind of performance. he already knows what it says. he probably knew it before you even typed it out.

“you wanna play dumb, huh?” he says, finally looking at you. his gaze is sharp, piercing. like he can read every secret you try to hide. “then i’ll gladly treat you like you’re dumb.”

“kneel.”

it isn’t an order shouted out loud. it is spoken low, languid, with the cool authority of someone who already knows they’ll be obeyed. he doesn’t force you. he doesn’t need to. it is all there in his voice, in his posture, in the very way he smiles down at you like a man who’s just checkmated someone three moves ago.

“let’s see if that mouth of yours is good for something other than pretending.”

your heart is beating faster in response to his words, and if it weren’t for dazai standing so close—close enough for you to feel him, smell him—you could swear this would be another one of your dreams. but it’s not. so you waste no time lowering yourself to your knees in front of him.

he watches you carefully, breath catching as your fingers work at the buckle of his belt. at least you know how to open this damn thing. otherwise, he might have started doubting if you really are pretending.

his cock twitches as soon as you free it from its confines. the tip is flushed, and he’s already leaking an embarrassing amount of precum. you drag your lips over the length of him, slow and deliberate, pressing a kiss to the vein running underneath before wrapping your mouth around the tip.

dazai bites down on his bottom lip, thighs tensing as he resists the urge to thrust his hips forward and bury himself deep in your throat. instead, he swallows the groan that’s about to escape his lips, reaching out to thread his fingers through your hair slowly, almost gently.

“what a pretty sight you are…” he breathes out, voice wavering ever so slightly. “need an explanation for that too? or should i show you instead?” his grip tightens just a bit as he guides your head forward, working his cock deeper past your lips.

your throat tightens around him, and you let out a sound that’s something between a choked moan and a whine. somehow, the way he speaks to you—gentle, but with that quiet condescension—makes you grow so much more desperate. your fingers dig into the bandages around his hips as you take him fully into your mouth, your lips flush to his pelvis.

he lets out something soft and shaky himself, head falling forward as he watches your throat struggle to adjust to him. his grip loosens, and he strokes your hair gently, silently beckoning you to look up at him. your lashes flutter as you meet his gaze, eyes wide and glassy with tears that roll steadily over your cheeks.

beautiful, he thinks hazily. but even dazai knows this is dangerous ground. if anyone were to see or hear you, you’d never hear the end of it.

he jerks forward suddenly, hips pushing in deeper. he hears you gag around him, more tears spilling as you let out a choked sob. his hand drops, and he caresses your cheek in apology, clumsily wiping away some of your tears.

the sight of you on your knees for him—tear-streaked, lips swollen and wet, jaw aching as you take him down your throat—is almost enough to send him spiraling over the edge. almost. eventually, you begin to move, each time taking him deeper. the wet sounds echo off the walls, making the moment feel that much more intense.

dazai is hardly able to muffle the moan that slips past his lips as the tight knot in his abdomen snaps. black dots blur his vision, and his eyes flutter shut momentarily as he takes a light step back. it’s almost too much for him. his whole body tenses as he cums down your throat, watching intently as you struggle to swallow everything.

it takes a minute for dazai to regain some semblance of control over himself. by the time he does, you’re standing on shaky legs and tucking his sensitive cock back into his pants. his hazy gaze focuses on your face once more. your lips are wet and swollen, and your eyes are still glassy. he wipes away the remaining tears before leaning in close again.

“turns out you’re not as dumb as i thought,” he murmurs, lips brushing your ear. “maybe i should explain things to you more often, hm?”

a faint smirk curls his mouth as he steps back, gaze sweeping over you like he’s still memorizing the moment. and right on cue, kunikida walks back into the office, punctual to the second as usual.

it shouldn’t surprise you. of course dazai kept track of the time. of course he knew. but somehow, that only makes it hotter.

it’s only when you’re fully upright that you realize just how wet you are and how worked up he’s left you.

how cruel of him, really… for not indulging your needs in return, even though you did such an amazing job.

↪thanks for reading! reblogs are appreciated! MLIST

copyright © mqdilen 2025 all rights reserved.

[chuulyssa]

⸺⸺ M A S T E R L I S T ⸺⸺

𝗚𝗨𝗜𝗗𝗘: ★ smut , ୨୧ fluff , 𓆩♡𓆪 angst , ☾ dark

𝙅𝙐𝙅𝙐𝙏𝙎𝙐 𝙆𝘼𝙄𝙎𝙀𝙉

𝗗𝗥𝗔𝗕𝗕𝗟𝗘𝗦 ୨୧ finding a secret of theirs [gojo, geto, toji, sukuna, nanami] ୨୧ 𓆩♡𓆪 gojo somehow knows exactly when you need him ★ toji can’t wait for your period to end ★ gojo using his blindfold to tie you up ★ it's not sukuna's fault you're so irresistible

𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗦 arranged. [gojo satoru x reader] series tag #prince!gojo ── ★ ୨୧ 𓆩♡𓆪 TELL ME I’M A LITTLE ANGEL, SWEETHEART OF YOUR CITY

𝘽𝙐𝙉𝙂𝙊𝙐 𝙎𝙏𝙍𝘼𝙔 𝘿𝙊𝙂𝙎

𝗗𝗥𝗔𝗕𝗕𝗟𝗘𝗦 dazai ୨୧ baking cookies for them ୨୧ spanking them ୨୧ confessing to them ୨୧ how they act around their first crush ୨୧ cuddling with dazai ୨୧ beast!zai on your birthday ୨୧ 𓆩♡𓆪 the past causes a hindrance in your present ୨୧ 𓆩♡𓆪 too young to know it gets better, i'll be summer sun for you forever ୨୧ 𓆩♡𓆪 you're so pretty, you're so popular ୨୧ 𓆩♡𓆪 a reason to live ☾ stalker!dazai ★ dazai after coming inside u is fucking pretty ★ i might have to fuck her on the highway [public sex scenarios] ★ asking to sit on their face ★ a short break spent alone in secret won't hurt, right? ★ edging + breeding kink ★ new recruit in his hands ★ ୨୧ something about me got you hooked on my body [favourite body part]

chuuya ୨୧ baking cookies for them ୨୧ spanking them ୨୧ confessing to them ୨୧ how they act around their first crush ୨୧ 𓆩♡𓆪 beast!chuuya in love ★ i might have to fuck her on the highway [public sex scenarios] ★ asking to sit on their face ★ fucking your insecurities away ★ ୨୧ something about me got you hooked on my body [favourite body part]

nikolai ★ i might have to fuck her on the highway [public sex scenarios] ★ ୨୧ something about me got you hooked on my body [favourite body part]

fyodor ୨୧ spanking them ୨୧ confessing to them ★ i might have to fuck her on the highway [public sex scenarios] ★ asking to sit on their face ★ ୨୧ something about me got you hooked on my body [favourite body part]

akutagawa ୨୧ baking cookies for them ୨୧ spanking them ୨୧ confessing to them ★ asking to sit on their face ★ ୨୧ something about me got you hooked on my body [favourite body part]

ranpo ୨୧ baking cookies for them ୨୧ spanking them ୨୧ confessing to them ★ asking to sit on their face ★ ୨୧ something about me got you hooked on my body [favourite body part]

sigma ★ ୨୧ something about me got you hooked on my body [favourite body part]

atsushi ୨୧ confessing to them

kunikida ★ ୨୧ something about me got you hooked on my body [favourite body part]

𝙊𝙉𝙀 𝙋𝙄𝙀𝘾𝙀

𝗗𝗥𝗔𝗕𝗕𝗟𝗘𝗦 luffy ୨୧ jealous monster trio + law and ace ୨୧ 𓆩♡𓆪 comforting him post-marineford ୨୧ wherever you stray, i follow [clingy scenarios]

zoro ୨୧ jealous monster trio + law and ace ୨୧ wherever you stray, i follow [clingy scenarios]

sanji ୨୧ jealous monster trio + law and ace ୨୧ wherever you stray, i follow [clingy scenarios]

ace ୨୧ jealous monster trio + law and ace ★ ୨୧ it’s you and me, that’s my whole world

law ୨୧ jealous monster trio + law and ace

𝙈𝙐𝙇𝙏𝙄𝙁𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙊𝙈

୨୧ im in your bra now >_< ୨୧ bath time ୨୧ ur too pretty ୨୧ hes touchy (and jealous) ୨୧ perverted but innocent ୨୧ hes in love ୨୧ hes NOT cute :< ୨୧ when you flirt ୨୧ hes pining ୨୧ group project ୨୧ hes clingy 24/7 ★ body worship ★ hickeys ★ breeding ★ helping you move on ★ when hes a gentleman ★ when hes so stoic ★ hes TOO big

𝘿𝙀𝘼𝙏𝙃 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀

[discontinued]

୨୧ l lawliet visits your cafe ☾ light as your yandere hcs ★ giving light yagami head under the desk / drabble ★ drunk and driven with light ★ behind the camera with light ★ kidnapped by mello ★ after dark with l lawliet

© chuulyssa, 2024 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost any of my works on any platforms. do not translate.

[universesweetheart]

Sleeping Beauty (Chuuya x Reader)

Wrote this overstimulated and sweaty because I live in tropical hell!

I love chuuya

Bye now - Mars 

You stirred awake in the early hours of the morning, the sky still dark, stars visible from the view of your open windows. Laid up comfortably in your lover’s arms as he snores softly, his body pressed into yours. The redhead was practically on top of you. 

Blinking awake you stayed stilled, gathering your thoughts. You knew your lover had an important mission which would require him leaving earlier than he usually did and whilst he did set the alarm the night before, you wanted to do a little special something for the hardworking man you loved. 

You also knew the stubborn motherfucker would try to sneak away as he didn’t ever want to interrupt your sleep, he usually leaves a note on the nightstand.

Sneakily you slipped out of his arms, slipping a pillow in your place. You turned off the alarm set to go off in the next hour. As quiet as you could, you made your way to the kitchen and whipped up a breakfast for him.

A simple bagel sandwich and a coffee for the redhead, snacking as you worked around the kitchen. You sipped a glass of tea as you did. 

Setting everything up in a tray, you made your way back to the bedroom, placing the tray down on the table and moving over to the bed.

You sit down, leaning down and kissing your lover's forehead. “Chu?” you whispered softly, placing another kiss in between his brows. 

Chuuya’s brows furrowed but he remained asleep for the most part. Prying the pillow from him, you placed another soft kiss on the tip of his nose, “Baby,” you tried again.

“Come on, wake up, pretty boy”, now that earned a soft grumble from Chuuya and you smiled. Settling besides him, you kiss his shoulder this time, “C’mon” you whisper softly

“No” he mumbled and turned away from you, hugging the pillow, his back now towards you. You smirk mischievously and scoot closer, kissing his back softly.

“C’mon, sleeping beauty,” You hugged him from behind, resting your face against his, cheek to cheek and whispering sweet words you knew he couldn’t resist. 

 Brushing back his hair, you kiss his temple, then kiss his cheek, and finally move up to place soft kisses to his eyelids. With a grumble he finally opens his eyes and looks at you, a groggy look on his face. You smile softly, looking back at him.

“S’too early, babe” he grumbled and sat up, the silk sheet sliding down his chest and pooling around his hips. His toned chest on display, one that you shamelessly stared at.

You get up from the bed and get the wooden tray, setting it on his lap and settling beside him. You stroke his hair and lean in, kissing his cheek. 

“How long you gonna be gone this time ‘round?” You look at him, a hint of sadness swimming in the pool of adoration in your eyes. 

“A few weeks” He answers shortly, looking down at the tray before him, his eyes soften and he leans over and kisses your temple, his hand coming to rest behind your head, “I will be back before you know it, sweetness” 

The redhead closes his eyes and lean his head against yours, “Thank you for this, you really didn’t have to,”

“I know, but I wanted to, Chuu” you tilt your head up, looking at him. 

He looks down at you, and smiles softly, “I love you.” he said with conviction, he captures your lips in a soft yet passionate kiss. 

“I love you too” you kiss him back with equal passion and love, “hey?”

“Hm?”

“Y’know, you snore”

“I don’t, you brat” a hand comes down and smacks your behind, a soft laugh escaping him, eyes crinkled in happiness and content.

[calmlb]

double black (small)

source: @/dazaiarchives

[attaiii]

HEAR ME OUT, HEAR ME OUT, I HAVE A SOUKOKU/CHUUYA HEADCANON.

Chuuya has stressed induced mutism. BUT BUT, not in the way you think. With missions, interrogations, the Mafia life, he can manage stress very well. Rarely gets stressed, actually. He's a leader at heart and he knows how to compartmentalize better than most people.

But what can get him silent is emotional stress. Like betrayal. Dazai remembers that when the Sheep betrayed Chuuya, Chuuya didn't speak a word for weeks. Gradually, his speech came back as he got more attached to Kouyou, Dazai, etc., but he goes silent when that kind of stress hits him.

And when Dazai left the Port Mafia and blew up his car, in the first year that Dazai was gone, Chuuya did not speak a fucking word. Barely a sound from him.

He was interrogated and questioned on where his partner went but couldn't answer any of them. Again, slowly, his speech did return but it got so bad, newe members just thought Chuuya was mute.

oh my god this is my new favorite headcannon and I cannot even begin to imagine how miserable he must've been after everything that happened in stormbringer 😭 like what if it took him MONTHS to get a word out again? and he had to learn to communicate other ways to still be able to get his work done? which probably feels so humiliating for someone as prideful and independent as him and makes him feel even more trapped in his own skin. he's such a loud and expressive person so having the ability to express himself (in the traditional sense) taken from him is probably so suffocating and AGGGHHH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD HEADCANNON

[anticidic]

I am taking what fyozai crumbs I can get at this point after the massive feast that was Meursault, but the fact that Fyodor so far has been straight trashing Dazai to Atsushi and just CAN'T. LET. IT. GO. screams a little obsessed to me ngl you can admit that you got a little silly with Dazai in Meursault and the alleys around Yokohama, Fyodor. The way he oscillates between "Dazai-kun wasn't good enough to be my equal, after all," and "Dazai-kun was truly spectacular," is just straight up funny to me at this point. He's the ex-lover who keeps telling everyone he's moved on and everyone's smiling and nodding, but not believing.

[xlun1ax]

srry, not sure if ur taking requests or not, but if u are willing can u write chuuya or any of the bsd men x comforting reader with an ed? if ur not comfortable with it, theres no worries or anything. tysm!! <3

~✧~~✧~~✧~~✧~~✧~~✧~~✧~~✧~~✧~~✧~~✧~

A/n: in a way I'm sorta glad you asked for this I've been thinking about putting our beloved bsd characters in my board but I was considering about how to do it flawlessly but now i don't have to think too hard but sure let's do it as my first request (and yes there's a reason why my box is open sometimes i just like challenging myself by people's request so yes request are open in case you guys are interested)

Lover scenario

❥ You are lovely no matter what

Bungo stray dogs x reader

Feat; chuuya, dazai

Eating disorder, angst, comfort, fluff, maybe hugs, self loathing, anger

Chuuya Nakahara

~★~~★~~★~~★~~★~~★~~★~~★~~★~~★~~★~

(The Violent Lover)

(I'm angry not because I'm mad at you. I'm mad because I care too much)

I didn't know, what why?

I don't understand why aren't you eating anymore.

“hey, come on open the door” my voice the usual blunt but with a softer tone rang as I knocked on your door waiting for your reply. But oddly there was no reply.

I was wondering about that, your sudden shift in moods, the avoidance, in even being near me. I wonder did I somehow did something or grew dull that I didn't sense your reason of discomfort?

I knocked again but you didn't answer perhaps you slept? But how long has it been since we slept together. This is just unbelievable. you're being unreasonable

I'm growing impatient. My instincts tells me something is wrong.

I kicked open your door to find you sitting on your bed crying silently your fingers gripping your shirt as if trying to poke holes into them.

I stood still eyes wide in shock like I just entered a place I'm not invited too but dispute it-

My foot moved fluently making my way to you with concern every step felt rushed like you were slipping through my hands. I reached out my hands hover to your arms rubbing it gently as if to make sure you're still there. “hey love, what's wrong are you okay?” my voice was now softer one of comfort and concerned.

But then I noticed

The translucent unnaturally pale skin, the bulging color of your veins. The over whelming amount of sweat and the obvious dark eye bags. The uncontrollable shaking.

How could I be so stupid.

You're doing it again.

Fury burns quicker than I could control it.

“I told you to eat– stop doing this what's the reason this time?” I asked with worry and anger. Why, why are you doing this? Do you not know how much your actions haunt me in my sleep?

“I'm sorry I can't help it. I just feel so ugly! I just wanna look better-" you choked between tears almost struggling to admit it.

And it made my heart tighten that I burst out “what do you mean? You already look good fuck you look beautiful! What's a few pounds gonna change if you wanna lose weight this isn't the way-!” I let out a sharp sigh pinching my nose “why do you keep doing this- you don't get it do you?” it was sharp but I wasn't able to stop myself from yelling before it was too late. That I had to pause and clench my fist while biting my lip.

It was frustrating that I had to see you like this. I didn't mean to be harsh with my words either but it's so hard to contain my anger when you're hurting my love.

The silence was loud you're silent now and the crying had worsen why won't you say anything I can't do this I'm not good at reading people because in a way I felt that was because of me that you're becoming like this.

Maybe it was maybe it's because you ended up with me that you ended up like this you ended up hurt because- what type of idiot let's his love crumble without doing anything?

But I had to calm myself down first. Slowly, I sat beside you pulling your docile body to mine I didn't let you pull away this time I've let you indulge in that far too long that you are this affected.

"Seriously, stop doing this. I would never leave you for something so shallow as image in my eyes you're already enough I don't care about that stuff” I muttered a soft whisper I hope to soothe you with as my hand seeps to rub your back.

The lovely body and person I have grown to love and crave. Just when I tried so hard not to love you you made it so hard. Just why would you think that harmful thing that it made you like this. My hand reached your face seeing as your tears had grown lighter as I wiped the remaining droplets cupping your face of fragile sorrow

“at least say something I'll take anything even a fuck off” I murmured softly getting suffocated by the silence you left me in.

Perhaps it was my fault maybe if I was taller more handsome you wouldn't have nit pick your pretty self.

“stop thinking like that alright I'm not good at comforting but– what I know is I don't like seeing you like this in pain because you starve yourself that it's affecting you negatively I find you beautiful every part of you and I will not tolerate you handling something I love with ruthlessness”

My voice stern though reluctant at what I'm saying I was worried that it's a little rough but you seem fine I can almost feel your muscles relax under my finger tips.

And I couldn't help it I missed you so much that I struggled to hold back from wanting to kiss you although knowing it's not a good time. I don't want you to think I'm just here for your body. Because I'm here for you.

So would you mind? If just asked “god, can I kiss you?” you stared at me almost surprised that I felt my ears flush red embarrassed by my request it's not weird you're my love so I can ask for kisses, right? It just slipped out so easily that I didn't have time to restraint myself.

But that laugh you started to laugh and how it never fails to make my heart and lips tug. That I subconsciously leaned in to kiss you gently I missed it so much I would never get tired of it.

Of you.

“I'll always love you so please don't hurt yourself this way” I whisper softly planting another kiss to the corner of your eye and oddly with how bad I am at this you still calmed down with a smile too.

Well you nodded in reply. I suppose that's good enough for now I can't force you to talk yet at least it doesn't feel like you're leaving me alone with self doubt.

“get dressed we're going to your favorite restaurant and I'm making sure you eat” i said with teasing smugness and care leaving no room for argument. And to make sure you believe even if in a limited time how lovely you are no matter what.

⢷ after that dinner he complimented how pretty you look never let go of your hand. Next day you found he bought you groceries and scribbled on the calorie information and when he saw you getting on a scale he keeps an eye and uses his ability to make you seem lighter

Dazai osamu

~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~

(The Tainter)

(I'm okay in a way I know this is my punishment)

In a way i knew this would happen

We were too happy. I let myself be too happy

And even happiness becomes a curse with me.

I stood outside the bathroom door watching you from the gap the constant gagging and whimpering is a dead give away what you're doing in there after a meal.

Yet again I've always noticed

How you, started to reluctantly eat, subtly checking the nutrition facts behind everything we eat before you could hide or notice your little habit.

I should have stopped you then because it was obvious what you were doing.

Yet I didn't, because I felt like I have no right to save an angel like you at least now we're both broken glass though tainted because that's how it is everything I'm around gets destroyed.

I should leave you to it.

My foot work was quiet like a crime i didn't wish to admit just so I wouldn't bother your time in sorrow yet before I could hold on the knob I felt a whisper.

“if nothing makes a difference rather on the side of bad– be on the side of good help others dazai that is your punishment”

I pulled my hand back from the knob as I remembered those words my footsteps stilled as I clenched my fist that's just unfair. I'm not a saint why do I have to save others. I have no right.

Yet, your gagging and crying are so loud as if birds are chirping your helplessness into my ear taunting me reminding me that it is my fault and I have to fix it. I don't want to but,

My legs were already moving back to the bathroom my footsteps are now more rushed coming to you I felt my heart heavy and soaked like something was rotting inside as I came closer.

Yet I arrived and didn't waste time to slam open the door.

You scrambled like a child being caught in mischief. I didn't smile at first just gazed at the situation you drowned yourself in.

The subtle spit on your mouth and fingers that you try to wipe off, the abnormally close distance between you and the toilet bowl, the forehead drenched in sweat, blood shot eyes heavy breathing as you tried miserably to compose yourself.

“Osamu, I didn't know you were home I just had a headache and vomited weirdly enough” you awkward chuckled while rubbing your neck.

It was a plausible excuse yet when you had lived and know each other too well it becomes a pathetic form of excuse. I notice the signs and the cuts on your fingers because you had gagged yourself became obvious.

Dispute how much I wanna ruin you I'm holding myself back as a form of punishment of this crude soul of mine.

My movement felt slightly stiff but I hope you wouldn't notice it.

As I knelt down with my usual smile while brushing your sweat drenched hair for a clear view of your beautiful face “you're lying aren't you? That might work on someone else just not me bella you know that ” I say with my playful tone as your expression shifted from fake assurance to solemn acceptance.

“I'm sorry you had to see that..” you muttered while gripping your arms as if it's truly a sin when the true sin had always been me being happy with you.

I couldn't I-

I leaned in hugging you pulling you in it was tighter as if showing me how tight you actually pull on my the thread of my heart like sewing project would look crumpled if you pull on the string.

I didn't even know I myself was shaking. But all I could feel in my arms a warm corpse like a wilted flower that you stubbornly water in hopes it would live again.

“Dazai?” your soft wondered voice cuts as I continue to hold you closely. So please God if you're watching this I'm sorry I'm sorry for putting myself in a place of comfort “don't do that don't ruin yourself like me please don't leave too”

It was real it was raw. I didn't want to but it slipped out and I felt your body stiffen at my honesty that I had buried inside of me.

You tried to pull away to look at my face but I wouldn't let you because to me letting you see me raw is like letting you shatter me a ceramic sculpture with a hammer.

“you're beautiful and no amount of weight can tell me otherwise. When I said I wanna fall together this isn't what I meant belladonna. At least invite me to fall romantically in a pool of water together dying on the bathroom is ugly you know I don't want that ”

I felt a soft smile creep up my face I don't know what I say is true or not I fail to understand which part of is truly me. But I can say one thing with confidence and I hope you won't take my honesty for granted “please don't do this you don't know how much this action haunts me at night that I fail to go to sleep because of you..”

I pulled away with a soft smile

I balled my fist as i felt that familiar ache your tears are falling like water color that decorates a canvas. You lips quiver taunting me with their pink and subtle skin.

I'm ashamed I have thought about this in your moment of vulnerability so please forgive, forgive for ruining my belladonna.

I leaned in kissing you softly as I wiped away your tears and held your chin because this is the only way I know to make a vulnerable person to feel better.

So please forgive this monster.

For staying and ruining a tender and docile being like you.

“because to me you are like lovely no matter what ” my words slipped as I held you close as if reminding myself you are still here not slipping away from my fingers like the others.

(After that he carried you out the bathroom and tried to make you eat something. And every mealtime is a company with him forcing himself to eat and nudging you for more bites. Then after meal he tends to bring you out for a walk claiming it for exercise just so you wouldn't feel bad for eating a lot but really it's so you wouldn't think about what you put in your stomach and have a chance to get it out. Because that's our careful planner always thinking ahead)

A/n: fun fact i actually hate swearing but since chuuya's character is the poise of swearing problems I had no choice it wouldn't feel like him if he didn't. so yeah just two because I'm ashamed to admit I actually haven't watched bsd in so long I know I'm a fake lover there's a chance i might do a part two. But i hoped you enjoyed this especially the one that request this and anyway thanks for reading! luv you bubs<3

⢷

©xlun1ax do not copy, translate or post author's work on other platforms

[sickficideas]

Ranpo scenario I have been thinking about: Ranpo standing up from his desk kinda wobbly asking whoever is there if Yosano is around. Kunikida has seen this exact thing play out before and immediately gets up but he is still too late, Ranpo's head hits the desk and he's on the floor. Kunikida and Dazai do the math and realize Ranpo has probably not slept in 72+ hours while working on a case for Fukuzawa and now he's unbelievably out of it with a high fever and repeatedly asking for Yosano by her first name because he feels safe with her💔 Yosano says she'll kill him eventually if he does this again but Ranpo genuinely does not mean to...if he is focused enough on something he will completely neglect himself until he's finished or literally can't anymore

[beastszai]

mwah what up dawg can i requests dazai with a s/o whos very immature like laughs at the wrong time, whos laughs at inapporiate jokes and pranks kunikida. :33

YAHOOO hello hi hey anon!! TY for the request ehhehe MUA also dazai is so silly i wanna put him in a microwave *having a near death stroke*

✦ Dazai with an immature S/O ✦

♫ Walking On A Dream - Empire Of The Sun

✧ warnings : gn reader・ bad writing・slight hint at suggestive jokes・dazai being dazai (what else is new)・crack?・fluff??? (what the fuck is this help…)

✧ summary : some headcanons (my brain is fried) + you and zaza Dazai are a tad bit silly together at the agency instead of workin

w/c : 1K-ish

Youuuu two are pretty much the cause of Kunikida's daily headaches…

…though it's not just Kunikida losing his mind at this point, with both you and Dazai matching each other's energy, the whole agency is praying for peace every day.

Dazai feels prideful when he gets to get a little laugh out of you, it's easy for you to laugh at things and he finds it adorable

Your laughs and giggles feed his ego TRUST

His favorite moments are when you both seem to read each other's mind, later going back and forth between your ideas of how to annoy Kunikida

Both end up getting scolded and lectured by him, and in a worst-case scenario, he forces the two of you to sit as far apart from each other as possible while dumping piles of paper on your desks.

Your laughs also make him burst out laughing as well no matter how unfunny or serious the situation can be

With his way of wording things and your humor combined, it’s impossible for you to not snicker when he says the most normal things

“Dazai can you over real quick—” “I’m coming!�� “…….that’s what she said LMFAOOOO”

A hundred percent made you laugh so much once that your stomach AND jaw were hurting

Dazai is silly, so it’s only fair he gets an ALSO silly s/o

…Today was unexpectedly boring. No special cases, no special encounters with the infamous port mafia… no special anything. Just paperwork. The only way to entertain yourself—and slack off from dealing with the paperwork and reporting on earlier cases—was to cause a little bit of chaos. The awkward silence throughout the agency’s office was killing you anyways…

You took a quick glance at Dazai who was sitting across the room and laying his chin on his desk, half asleep and bored out of his mind. He was quick to notice you looking at him and returned your gaze with his shit eating grin. The one that meant ‘nothing but trouble™’.

Your lips parted slightly to mouth the words ‘I’m bored’ to him, but Dazai was already spinning around in his office chair and wheeling his way closer to Kunikida’s desk.

“Heeeeey Kunikida~ So, you see, me and y/n are a teensy bit bored and I was wo-”

“Get the hell back to work, Dazai.”

The blond grumbled in frustration, not even raising his head from the monitor screen in front of him. His hands typed into the computer with speed, making a continuous clicking sound. Kunikida then paused, fixed his glasses and turned his head to you.

“…You too, y/n.”

He added, speaking in a much less annoyed tone than when he talked to Dazai. He immediately went back to working. The brunette sighed, getting back to his desk with a pout. Though, you knew that he was way too bored to have mercy on Kunikida today—or literally any other day.

Yanking one of the forms put aside on his desk in a swift motion, Dazai carefully turned it into a paper plane. He continued doing so until nearly half the pile of papers was gone and paper plane-ified. You raised your head from your own work and watched in amusement.

“Oh? You knew origami and didn’t tell me? Wow, ‘samu, can’t believe you’ve been keeping such great talent a secret from me!” You giggled, clutching your chest to add onto your dramatic act while spinning your office chairs’ way closer to Dazai. He grinned, busy adding the finishing touches to his 30th paper plane, “Oh I can do much more than some silly origami stuff, trust me on that.”

A chuckle escaped from your lips, loud enough for Dazai’s ears to catch it and smile with pride. He was so focused that he had even piqued Atsushi and Kyouka’s interest—along with Ranpo stealing glances from time to time.

You had long begun to help him with whatever he was scheming, making a few paper planes of your own and dropping the 45th? 54th? Whatever number paper plane onto his desk. While both of you were busy with your paper plane making, Kunikida’s laptop slammed shut; though neither you nor Dazai heard it or the sound of him stomping his way to the two of you. Dazai snickered while you counted the paper planes he’d made, going back and forth with the numbers as you kept losing count.

“Goddammit Dazai, stop distracting me! Unless you want to count all this yourself…” You grumbled and playfully smacked him in the head with the plane you were holding. He chuckled and opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off when Kunikida cleared his throat.

It made you both sink into your seats, slowly turning to face him—arms crossed and impatiently tapping his foot.

“Dazai. Y/n. May I ask what you’re doing? It’s not work as far as I’m concerned.”

Kunikida’s tone was surprisingly calm… the calm before the storm, you thought. Dazai, completely nonchalant about Kunikida’s presence, held one of the paper planes up and above his own head and grinned.

“Entertaining ourselves since boredom is ought to kill us~ Why do you ask?”

Out of curiosity, you decided to unfold one of the planes to take a look at it’s contents. Your vision blurred for a second once you realized what all that paperwork that you had turned into planes actually was… While Dazai was busy showing off the paper plane he had in hand to Kunikida, you desperately tugged on his sleeve, tapped his shoulder, shook his hand, anything to get him to stop talking.

“Dazai… have you even taken a look at what those papers were about?” Kunikida cut Dazai off, brows furrowed.

“Hmm? Oh, no not really! What’re they fo—”

“They’re all boss’ notes and reports…”

You whispered to him in a shaky voice, eyes still glued to Fukuzawa’s signature at the bottom of the crumpled piece of paper.

“Handwritten notes and reports.”

All three of you turned your head to Ranpo, who was fiddling around with a bag of chips, struggling to get it open.

“Those are all handwritten by him. He left them on Dazai’s desk not expecting anyone to touch them, knowing that he barely—almost never works… Just thought I’d let you know.”

A long pause. Ranpo then turned his chair around and aside from his faint chewing, the silence in the office had become deafening…

“…Wow, nice work, detective Dazai Osamu…” You mocked, eyebrows knitted together.

“Hey! Don’t throw me under the bus like thaaaaat, you helped too! So cruel of you, bella…”

Dazai gave you a dramatic ‘hmph!�� and awkwardly turned to Kunikida—who was practically shaking in fury—with a sheepish smile, throwing the paper plane at his head followed by a nervous laughter.

“Nowwww before you do or say anything, Kunikida-kun~ In my defens-”

“…DazaaAAAIIII—!!!”

p.s : its been awhile since ive written and actually posted it so this is a bit wonky I KNOW im not this ass at writing please spare my life i have a wife and kids…

[chocsra]

idk abt others but yes i do eat up every single one of ur hs au bc it's so silly and yes i am looking at you with a chuuya plushie in my hand to ask for a dazai x reader hs au fanfic

✧ "YOU ARE THE CITY OF MY HEART"

☆ synopsis ↺: skipping class with your classmate, dazai yet again. but this time, you explore the ocean of your feelings together.

☆ content ↺: HIGHSCHOOL AU 15ZAI, musical prodigy! dazai, photographer! dazai, introvert! dazai, slightly ooc, fluff

☆ NOW PLAYING ↺: UNDERSTAND — keshi

☆ w/c ↺: 2k

you don't think you have ever lived without noise,

ever since you were a kid, you were talked your ear off by your parents, lectured by several adults, and screamed plentifully with friends. when there was silence, there was music to mask it. good or bad noise, it existed, survived, and was a huge part of your life.

but you,

Dazai Osamu, are probably the quietest person you've ever known.

the only sound you could associate with him was the shutter of a camera taking a picture—the same sound you've been continually hearing.

It was a regular school day, both dressed in full uniform, baking under the bright rays of the morning sun. There wasn't anything particularly wrong about this day. you could pick off the reddening leaves from bark-ridden tree branches and soak in the imprint of tree stumps, looking ever so similar to that of a fingerprint. it was a pretty autumn day; you just so happened to get to see that. you think, taking a withering leaf into the palm of your hand.

shutter.

"osamu, stop taking photos of me." —you chide, gently swatting the pointed camera out of view. the brunette in front of you, currently crouching, laughs boyishly as he removes his face pressed against the camera, gaze now overseeing the autumn sight before him. "sorry," dazai whispers, tinkering with a few buttons to review the photos he took. "you don't have to skip class with me, y'know." he murmurs, eyes glued to his camera.

he was a photographer, a pretty one at that. quiet and mysterious, you were rather surprised to learn that a boy reads fine literature and other classical means. sometimes, he picked up a violin or combined delicate fingers to gracefully waltz with a grand piano. his most prized possession was a camera, freezing the most beautiful of the intricacies of nature and people. but who was he? the boy who read books instead of taking notes in lectures, wavy chocolate brown hair that sun rays adored to find a home in, and a tall and slim build fitted in a school uniform and bandages. to capture the slope of his cheek, the deep hazel in hollow irises, and his olive skin. he was Dazai Osamu, a walking mystery.

so, you'd like to know where you stood with him in terms of relationship and if he even likes you at all. skipping class together, sneaking in your window at night, pretending to hang out with friends if it meant seeing him—it didn’t feel like something close friends did, like he was a secret you wanted to keep for yourself. but you couldn’t tell if that greed was reciprocated, if he was bored, or even considered you a close friend, a best friend. but instead of worrying too much, you only watch how his fingers work with a bulky camera, capturing nature's highs and lows.

“i know,” you twiddle with your fingers, grumbling, “class is boring anyway.” the brunette furrows his brows at the photos, brushing your excuse off, “this is shit. i think i’ve taken enough photos around the school.” he groans softly; you could practically hear his creative mind burning in the process. “did you delete the picture of me?” you question, standing over the lanky boy’s crouched form. “no, that one is good. i mean, the actual background, it's all repetitive.”

you tap a finger on your chim, “ahh,” you hum, pretending to understand his perspective. “winter should be here already.” the teenager grumbles under his breath before letting go of the camera to let it hang off his neck. you pace around slowly, feeling the surface of leaves crushing under your heels. “I mean, you don’t have to stay in school if you’re already skipping class.” you mutter, watching as a boyish grin lights up on his face. “you’re right, [y/n]! let’s go!”

a cold hand wraps his fingers around yours before dragging you to the nearest exit—"dazai!” you whine as the brunette drags you, “it’s cooooolllddddd!” you complain, your scarf nearly falling off as you run and run. hand in hand. this rather rushing feeling brings you a taste of memories you barely remember you had.

no one understood Dazai Osamu,

because he was a prodigy, he was something. something big, something great, something that made other geniuses seethe in envy. the boy had extraordinary intellect but a weak mind. no, dazai wasn't weak. he was just always unwell to a certain degree, and to most, it didn't take much to figure out—wearing long sleeves in summer, loving bandages for the comforting feelings even if he didn't need them, and reading books guiding the suicidal. dazai never hid it—that he was unwell, almost like a cry for help.

but for the genius that he was, nobody understood that.

but you did, in seventh grade. you were sniffling, pacing in remnants of snow as tears blurred your vision. though in your hazy field of sight, you outline the figure of one of your classmates approaching you, his tall frame catching the snowflakes from hitting your face. slowly, a boyish voice calls out.

"...are you okay?"

it was dazai, the stone-faced boy and talented prodigy. he wore a black trenchcoat, a little too big for his figure, and covered one of his chocolate brown eyes with bandages. you shook your head, a throbbing pain added from the tinge of snowflakes collecting in your hair. his stoic gaze never left you, standing there in the middle of a snowstorm, crying. the boy himself couldn't muster a feasible reason for walking outside in a snowstorm at this hour, so out of courtesy and a slight tinge of nervousness, he whispered, "let's go for a walk."

suddenly, nimble fingers reach out to grab yours; your fingers are used to originally wipe snot and cover your face. but dazai had no reaction to anything gross like that—like snot and tears. instead, he took shaky fingers into the cold ones of his own, pulling you gently along the sidewalk. you could barely make out his face or your feelings at the moment, only focused on his broad shoulders covered by that raven trench coat, soaking up snowflakes and the well of your tears.

from there, you walked and walked. hand in hand. soon running together with no particular destination—only feeling your body starting to warm up, sore feet clashing against snow, and his hand that never let go of yours.

Dazai Osamu never knew why you were crying, nor did you know what ever went through his head that day.

but from that moment forward,

you understood him.

soon, you were led by that same hand past pretty autumn leaves and into a foresty meadow, closed off from the rest of the world. several forms of wildlife scrapped by, followed by a murky pond under the sun's wake, surrounded by trees of reds and oranges. it perfectly provided what the school's campus couldn't—a sense of divergence reeling in the soft convolutions of your brain. "pretty, isn't it?"—the brunette chimes, panting from the long distance you two ran. "why'd you do that?" you grumble, rubbing your abdomen from an incoming sharp pain, "don't you have asthma?"

he immediately backtracks, shooting you an unamused glare, "that's.. enough." dazai huffs, before removing the strapped camera around his neck, "here, maybe you can take better pictures than i can." the boy chuckles shyly, a very drastic verbal response than his usual arrogance.

"hmm," a gentle hum slips past your lips, squinting one of your eyes in order to press the machine against your face. "i can try." after scouting the area with his camera for a few seconds, you began to snap a few shots at the darkening lake, carrying several leaves in its wake.

and as you paid full attention to the awaiting winter, dazai's gaze stayed on you, his autumn. his gaze softened and his slightly chapped lips parted in a momentary surprise, taking you in with every breath he took. Dazai himself loved photography; he loved capturing moments that would soon get lost in time. the brunette, with a talent for many things, found solace in photos. he loved to take photos of resting cats, dark sceneries you'd only find in an alleyway of a fantasy novel, and candid pictures of random couples on dates. dazai loved taking photos but detested that he didn't have a camera on hand at the moment—for he wanted to freeze this divine sight of you in the confines of his brain. your face, fingers, the dip and curve of every facial feature, and how the lighting kisses your skin and hair.

"how's it like? being a total genius?"

you were rather familiar with all your classmates, just curiously getting to know the mysterious musical prodigy, dazai osamu. it was a work period, and everyone in class already begun to slack off, especially since there was a supply.

and you knew that the lanky boy was eerily quiet when the school's athletic hotshot, Chuuya Nakahara, wasn't around. so, asking stupid questions won't exactly result in stupid answers, or so you thought.

"why? wanna be like me?" — he smiles teasingly, tilting his sharp jaw in your direction. "don't think someone who cries in the snow can do it, sorry." you freeze up and scoff, slightly embarrassed from the former interaction you had with him. "dick." a peaceful but awkward silence fills the air between both of you before the boy clears his throat awkwardly. "But i'd be willing to talk about it if you let me bother you at lunch.?"

the question itself caught you off guard. looking around at the chattering students, "i—" the brunette backtracked, hiding his face slightly with gauzed fingers. "Actually!—I am going to bother you. you're friends with chuuya, aren't you?" you shrug, eyes fluttering to the ground, "..i guess so, but i don't eat with him or his friends."

A breathless chuckle slips past the prodigy's lips before covering his mouth softly, completely ignoring you, "alright then, see you anyway, crybaby."

he hates himself for not knowing what to do with you, but he loved you more to let hate consume him, like usual. dazai wanted you; he didn't know what yearning was until he saw pieces of you in sunsets, rain and snow. he's felt destiny with his childhood friend, chuuya nakahara. but he's never felt something so desiring, pining — like he wanted to be with you every day. and maybe one of those days he'll feel you without the stupid gauze wrapped around his fingers. maybe one day he can hold your hand without the excuse of dragging you somewhere new. maybe one day, dazai will figure out how to ask you to be his, how to love you, because he's sure you're the one he wants to love.

"ahh, wait.."

you cock a brow at his shocked face, grabbing onto your sleeve as if the prodigy were reaching for the stars.

"I wish I were a painter, instead." the boy pouts, holding your sleeve childishly, pulling a chuckle from your throat, "why is that, huh?"

dazai's eyes, ever so empty and unfilled, now gleam, pretty and gentle. Softly reaching out to part a strand of hair behind the shell of your ear, gazing up at you feverishly. "usually, I'm so prideful about these things, photography.."

The prodigy clears his throat, his fingers threading through soft strands of hair tucked behind your ear. "But your eyes, they are really pretty." Your lips part bashfully surprised, overcoming your ability to move.

The boy continues as if his mouth was switched on autopilot: " So I wish I could paint them instead. I guess just looking works, too, though."

He smiles cheekily.

all you ever knew was noise,

but you, Dazai Osamu, had that kind of silence to keep you awake at night. Whether that'd be holding hands in a snowstorm, or the few moments he'd stare into your eyes.

Little did you know, that was the moment he fell in love. Or rather, the time it took him to realise you don't fall.

That love has grown before you can even realise it.

✧ chocsra™

[cyrus-solaris]

okay y’all i have a ✨thought✨

what if, whenever atsushi regenerates, he’s physically fine but for some reason, his body still feels the pain of the wound he received??

like immediately after it happens, he’s fine if not a bit more tired than usual.

and then he wakes up the morning after and the afflicted limb (it’s the leg. you KNOW i mean the leg i mean come on, it’s practically a bright red target atp) is just screaming in pain.

and eventually the pain starts to ease up and he’s able to function again but he’s still left with flair ups sometimes and just general chronic pain.

again: especially the leg i mean SERIOUSLY THAT POOR LIMB-

but yeah basically chronic pain atsushi. (totally not in the process of writing a one shot for this with a sprinkling of sskk)

anyway, thoughts? feelings? helpful commentary?

[mqdilen]

⭒ .๋ ࣭ ⊹ ˖ 「𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧.」

fandom.: bungou stray dogs

synopsis.: you and dazai make love on a lazy day

pairing.: dazai osamu x afab!reader

cw.: !nsfw! established relationship, soft dom dazai, oral sex (reader ⇢ recieving), vaginal sex, mentions of suicide, domestic fluff (sorta), mild aftercare (sorta), kind of vulgar language

genre.: one-shot, no second part

word count.: 2.6k (approximate reading time; nine minutes)

note.: i lovelovelove gentle dazai.

☪︎

it is one of those slow, languid summer afternoons where time bleeds into itself, thick and viscous, dragging on with a saccharine lethargy. the air is warm, cloying in its embrace as you lie beside him, your presence unobtrusive yet insistent. dazai barely acknowledges you, his attention idly flickering over the pages of ‘the complete suicide manual’, a book he knows by heart and shouldn’t be picking up anymore. but as he once said, a good book is always good, no matter how many times you've read it.

dazai makes no effort to stop you as your fingers ghost over the back of his hand, tracing over his bones and sinew with delicate curiosity. he never quite understood how something so mundane could have you so engrossed, but he is content to let you do as you please. perhaps he simply lacks the energy to refuse you, or perhaps—though he’d never admit it—he likes the attention.

you tug lightly at his fingers, slowly yet deliberately caressing the ridges of his knuckles and skimming over the faint scars on the back of his hand with featherlight tenderness.

there is something almost amusing about the way you are so utterly absorbed in him, your quiet murmurs and soft sighs, full of subtle wonder, filling the stillness between you. it reminds him of a puppy—the way you react to even the smallest of his movements, eyes wide, voice tender, as if he is something worth marveling at. it is almost absurd. those same hands you adore so much have done unspeakable things—hands he uses to caress your flushed cheeks and ruffle your hair. hands that had once participated in horrid acts—from picking locks to breaking necks with cold precision, to pulling triggers without hesitation.

and yet, you find yourself indulging in those same hands, holding them as if they have never known cruelty, as if they are simply hands, warm beneath your touch, incapable of ever ruining something.

eventually, you bring his hand closer to your mouth, your lips brushing briefly but deliberately against each of his knuckles. gently, you turn his hand over, kissing the pulse point on his inner wrist as your fingertips trail up and down his arm. dazai’s attention suddenly sharpens as he stares at the display of affection he silently deems himself unworthy of. “your hands are so pretty,” you murmur against his skin.

a low chuckle can be heard, your words sending a pleasant shiver down his spine. he likes how you say ‘pretty’, as if it’s something to be cherished rather than ridiculed. dazai has gotten so used to the sound of shallowness—something he is partly to blame for, considering his silver tongue and the way he uses his body for information—that hearing the genuine affection in your tone always leaves him momentarily undone. he disguises it well, though.

“pretty?” he repeats, amused and slightly surprised by your sentiment. he sets his book aside, laying it somewhere on his futon as his now free hand plays with a lock of your hair. “you’re such a sweet-talker, aren’t you?”

you lean closer to him until you’re on top of him, straddling his thighs. dazai’s body adjusts naturally, his thin mattress doing little to cushion the feel of the wooden floor. your fingers intertwine with his as you gaze down at him with an innocent expression, just barely masking your own desire.

dazai watches you intently, his eyes roaming over your features with a mix of fascination and something akin to reverence. “aren’t you the bold one today?” he says, a hint of playfulness in his tone. a soft smile graces your lips as you get closer to his face, kissing both sides of his cheeks, his forehead, his chin and finally his lips. “i just want to make sure you know how much i love you,” you say, letting the silence stretch as you watch for the slightest shift in his expression.

a deep sigh escapes him as you pepper his face with gentle kisses, each one feeling better than the last. he closes his eyes, savoring the sensation of your lips against his skin, silently hoping you’ll prolong this for as long as possible. when you simply stare at him, he lifts a hand to your face, cupping your cheek to pull you closer. his lips brush against yours, filling you both with a need neither of you voices—yet both of you know, feel, is there.

“oh, i know. don’t you worry your pretty little head over it. actually, you couldn’t make it clearer,” dazai whispers somewhat sensually, his confidence masking the small sense of relief your words bring. a mingled breath escapes the two of you before you gently kiss him, his lips instinctively parting, allowing you to deepen the kiss.

slowly, you shift your position, letting your body press fully against his as your hands slide up his arms, down his torso, and beneath his striped shirt. he doesn’t stop you, doesn’t pull away, but quietly takes what you offer him, acutely aware of how his body stirs under your touch. his fingers tremble slightly as they trail down your spine, pausing at your waist—a touch that feels more like a question than an answer.

at some point, your lips move to his jaw, planting soft kisses along the way to his neck. he tilts his head to give you better access to it, the sensation of your tongue on his skin making him shift slightly beneath you, a subtle hardness pressing against you as he draws you close. “i want you, osamu…” you whisper breathlessly against his throat as you leisurely unbutton his shirt, bottom to top. your words hang in the air between you as he stares at the ceiling, the phrase echoing in his mind with a depth and sincerity he hadn't anticipated.

he exhales shakily, surrendering to the moment. however, the slight flush of his cheeks and the heavy rise and fall of his breath tell you everything, and more, that you need to know to keep going. you trail your lips down his chest, ignoring the rough texture of the loose bandages wrapped around him. as the intensity of the moment deepens, you feel dazai’s hands grip your waist tighter. there’s no force in his movements, just a firm tenderness as he guides you onto your back.

he hovers above you for a brief moment, his eyes flicking down to meet yours, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. without breaking eye contact, his hands wander up your sides, fingers brushing against your skin with a palpable, unspoken longing. you can feel your face grow warmer at the touch, though a tinge of disappointment lingers from when he stopped you. goosebumps form on your skin as his hot breath fans across your face.

“comfortable?” he murmurs, his voice low and teasing, but there’s something undeniably gentle in the way he asks. you nod, surprised but not exactly complaining about the shift in position. “are you ever going to let me top you?” you ask playfully, matching his tone while you cradle his hair, pulling his face closer to yours. “perhaps someday. but not today. tonight is about you, so let me make you feel good, belladonna.” he presses his lips against yours, one of his hands moving up your shoulder. you chuckle faintly into the kiss at the nickname, the soft fabric of his loose shirt brushing against your skin, making you feel ticklish.

his hand travels along your collarbone, tracing it before cupping your breast, his thumb gently stroking your already hardened nipple through your shirt. the kiss deepens, and dazai thrusts his tongue inside of your mouth. you let him, your hands wandering from the top of his head down to his shoulders, sliding off his shirt. he does the same, the kiss momentarily broken as he helps you pull your shirt off over your head. his hand then finds the clasp of your bra, his dexterous fingers eager to take it off as well.

he pulls away a little to get a better look at your naked form, specifically your breasts. “so pretty,” dazai hums, his words drifting over to you like music as you take the moment to look at his lean chest as well. a few scars are peeking out from the few bandages covering him. you reach out to touch them, stopping midway through, though, as dazai’s hands glide down your ribcage, all the way down to your shorts. he tugs lightly on them, silently asking you for permission. you arch your back ever so slightly, allowing dazai to slide them off your thighs along with your panties.

his hand rides up the inside of your thigh, resting dangerously close to your core as he leans into your neck, kissing it. he bites it too, leaving a visible mark on your skin while he soothingly licks the spot with his tongue. a soft moan escapes your lips as you focus on his hot tongue against your skin.

he trails wet kisses down your throat and sternum, pausing just before he reaches your lower abdomen. “so lovely, bella,” he praises you in hushed tones, tracing a finger over your core and watching you twitch at the featherlight touch. he smiles at the reaction. no matter how many times he’s done this, it still makes you blush and still feels just as exhilarating as the first time. “hold nice and still for me, now.” you nod, bottom lip between your teeth as dazai plunges in without hesitation.

heat rushes through you, tingling shocks sparking with every flick of his tongue. his hands grip your thighs, fingers digging into your plump flesh as all you can see is his wavy hair between your legs, his mouth working your clit with infuriating precision.

“nnh…”

dazai can’t see your face from where he is, but the way you sigh and the way your whimpers slip past your lips is more than enough to get him off. at this point, he wishes he had taken his pants off first, his cock now straining almost painfully against the fabric.

you squirm beneath him, fingers tangled in his hair like it’s the only thing tethering you to the earth, your head feeling airy and light, breath hitching as he brings you gradually closer. “fuck! don’t stop, ‘samu…” you plead, your voice trembling as you tug lightly on his hair to keep yourself grounded.

dazai huffs in amusement at your needy, desperate tone, earning another punctuated cry from you as he pushes his tongue inside you, bringing you to the edge. he laps at the juices flowing from you, riding out your high with his mouth, drinking in every sound you make. he nips playfully at your inner thigh before pulling back, lips slick and eyes heavy-lidded. he wipes his damp mouth with the back of his hand, and you can’t help but feel strangely turned on by the sight.

dazai is quick with pushing down his pants, giving you no time to recover as he presses himself against you, listening to your heavy breathing. “that needy, love?” you say, which he doesn’t deny, a small smirk of your own tugging at your lips.

“please, bella. need to feel you…” he breathes against your neck, trying to persuade you with sloppy kisses that make you giggle slightly. you continue to listen to him beg ever so prettily, your name spoken in broken and desperate fragments. how could you ever deny such a request, especially after he made you feel so good like he said he would? it’s simple; you can’t. so you nod, still too out of breath to give him a verbal response.

dazai wastes no time positioning himself, entering you in one smooth thrust that makes you gasp at the sudden feeling of being so full. he gives you a moment to adjust to his size before rocking his hips forward, filling you inch by inch, his cock sliding deeper into your cunt. “so good… you feel so good, darling,” he praises once again, a breathy moan escaping his lips.

he moves eventually, keeping his thrusts slow and gentle, yet precise, hitting that sweet spot inside you every time. your mind grows hazy as he ruts shamelessly against you, pressing his body even closer. you wrap your arms around dazai, sinking your nails into his skin and scoring thin, red marks down his back—the little stings of pain serving as a deliciously contrasting sensation to your walls pulsating against his length.

after all, dazai doesn’t mind a little pain—he even finds something strangely soothing in it. it keeps him grounded, a quiet reminder that this moment is real. that the feelings he holds for you—deep, consuming, yet unexpectedly tender—aren’t just something he conjured to fill a hollow part of himself. and that, somehow, you feel the same.

he lets out another moan, this one sounding even prettier than the last as he works you up again. though he keeps his pace steady and subdued, not wanting to overstimulate you too much. your mouth finds his again as you kiss him, whimpering against his lips at a particularly hard thrust.

“fuck…” you whisper as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, breathing heavily. usually, dazai would have tilted your face back with a snarky comment—being the talker he is—but today, he feels like he shouldn’t do anything, only making sure you feel comfortable and satisfied.

dazai slides a hand down between your bodies, his fingers finding your clit and giving it a sharp pinch that pulls a squeal from your lips. he rolls it slowly between his thumb and forefinger, and your core clenches around him, like your body refuses to let him go. your nails sink a little deeper into his skin, making him sigh as he feels how close you are getting. his pace quickens, the sound of your bodies meeting echoing through the room, blending with your unrestrained moans and broken pleas.

“fuck, osamu…” you murmur, voice strained with the effort of trying to speak and containing your noises at the same time. “keep it just like that… feels so good… please…” your speech sounds almost slurred, and though your pleas aren’t as pretty as dazai’s, he loves it all the same.

he holds out for you just a tad longer, the intensity of his own moans gradually increasing with yours as he comes undone, your body shuddering beneath his. your mouth falls open, and your vision blurs for a second as you come right along with him.

dazai collapses on top of you, panting heavily, staying buried inside of you for a moment longer, savoring the intimacy of the moment. your eyes are glassy with pleasure, half-lidded as you take a moment to regain your bearings. your body is slick with sweat as dazai’s chest on top of you presses you against the mattress—the weight, however, feeling comfortable.

you close your eyes for a moment, absentmindedly stroking his hair as you listen to his breathing steady.

“i love you,” you whisper softly, and he hums in acknowledgment before pressing a lazy kiss against your shoulder.

“i love you too, belladonna,” he says just loud enough for you to hear, his voice sounding a little rougher than it tends to. “let's stay like this for a while longer… please.”

a faint chuckle escapes your lips as you keep your hand tangled in his brown locks, sensing his quiet need for a brief moment of comfort.

“of course.”

↪thanks for reading! reblogs are appreciated! MLIST

copyright © mqdilen 2025 all rights reserved.

[theprettywriter]

The devil's darling : Osamu Dazai

Synposis : with your first visit to the port mafia's headquarters, you see the other side of your lover. The one that he never showed you before. It was as if you suddenly remembered that he wasn't just your sweet boyfriend . He was also the most feared man in Yokohama. He was also the youngest boss of the criminal organisation, the port mafia.

Genre/ warnings: port mafia boss dazai, fluff, angst, mentions of blood, knife, mentions of getting stabbed, slightly suggestive

A/n: this story doesn't follow the original beast au storyline. In fact I won't even call it beast au because everything else is same other than dazai being the boss.

Author's pov

You hummed a soft tune as you walked around the huge office, lightly touching the art piece that hung on the wall in fear of damaging it somehow. Now you know you just shouldn't touch the delicate art work but you couldn't help yourself. If you find something fascinating then you just need to feel it once. And you also know that your boyfriend wouldn't blink an eye even if the art piece got damaged. He's more than capable of buying a few hundreds of the same piece if he wants but you'd rather live without the guilt of ruining it.

Deciding that you should probably stop touching it, you took a step back, opting to admire it from a distance. "sweetheart" you perked up at the sound of his voice and turned around, your lips curling up in a soft smile as your eyes met. "hmm?" you hummed silently asking him to continue.

Dazai placed the papers he was going through down on his desk, looking at you with soft eyes "are you feeling bored, my love?" he mumbled and you quickly shook your head. Well you admit that you were starting to feel a tiny bit bored with him silently working on some papers but you didn't want to disturb him so you opted to look around his office to pass some time. You know he's a busy man so you cherished every moment with him that you can spend in comfortable silence.

He looked at you silently for a moment before pushing his chair back slightly and extending a hand towards you "come here angel" your smile widened and you skipped towards him, placing your hand on his. A small smile tugged on his lips as he pulled you on his lap, kissing your wrist when you cupped his face with soft hands.

He hummed raspily when you leaned forward to press a quick kiss on his lips, his one arm wrapping around your waist while the other tucked your hair behind your ear "hey samu" you whispered against his lips before pulling back, giggling when his lips chased yours "hey angel" he mumbled pulling you in another kiss "you know I can tell when you're getting bored, sweetheart. You keep looking at the clock every now and then."

You scrunched your nose smiling sheepishly. Of course he'd catch on "okay I am feeling a little bored but it's fine. Your office is so big I'm sure I'll find something interesting in here" you said tucking a side of his hair behind his hair. You love it when he tucks his hair behind his ear. He hums as his hand slips inside your shirt, lightly caressing your bare waist "do you want to go back home? I can call a car for you -" before he could finish his sentence, you cut him off quickly shaking your head "no no I'm fine. I want to stay here with you. I can wait until you finish your work and we can go home together " you paused before adding "b-but I can go back if I'm disturbing you"

He tched pulling you closer "nonsense. You're never disturbing me, angel. I'm happy that you're here. I was asking in case you wanted to go back" you smiled at that, kissing his nose "then we'll go back together" he smiled softly with his hand going to the back of your neck. Pulling you towards him, his lips brushed against your forehead before he pressed his lips on yours in a deep kiss. Your eyes fluttered shut as you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him back softly.

At the same time, someone knocked on the door and you pulled back startled, going to get up but dazai didn't let you. You looked at him surprised when his grip around your waist tightened and he held you firmly on his lap while someone entered the room "boss" Nakahara Chuuya's voice sounded in the room and you turned your head to see chuuya standing there with his head bowed and his one hand holding his hat against his chest "they've been taken care of as you asked" who was taken care of? You'll never know and you don't even want to know.

You were just here to spend some time with your lover "good. Now chuuya, you've come right in time" chuuya looked up, silently asking dazai to give him his next orders "see, this is the first time my sweet girl has visited the headquarters and she's started to feel bored so would you mind giving her a tour around the building while I finish my work?" you looked at dazai surprised while chuuya nodded "of course not. I'd be happy to" "samu" you whispered tugging his coat slightly to make him look at you "I'm fine staying here" dazai smiled, running his thumb across your bottom lip "I know your curious little brain is dying to look around the building, sweetheart. So go with chuuya and I promise I'll be done by the time you come back. Then we'll go home"

You hummed thinking for a moment before nodding and looking at him with a smile. He raised an eyebrow when he recognized the mischievous glint in your doe eyes . You bite his thumb lightly, giggling softly when you saw his eyes darken a shade before getting off of his lap and pressing a kiss on his forehead "then I'll see you later Samu" he hummed, squeezing your hip and watched as you turned around and started walking towards the door.

You said a small thank you to chuuya as he held the door open for you and turned around one last time to wave at dazai, smiling as he waved back. You fiddled with your fingers awkwardly as you both passed by the multiple guards whose jobs were to guard the boss's office. Each one bowed towards you and you almost told them to stop bowing so much. You weren't used to it, unlike dazai who wouldn't even glance at them.

The long walk towards the elevator was silent with chuuya walking besides you in a respectful distance. You'd seen him many times before. You're aware that he's dazai's right hand man so you've seen him besides dazai multiple times but you've never talked to him properly so you were a little scared that the whole time will be spent in awkward silence.

So when you both reached the elevator and he pressed the button, you finally decided to break the silence "I hope I'm not disturbing you while you're busy, nakahara san" Chuuya's gaze snapped at you and his smile made you feel a little at ease "of course not, y/n San. I could actually use a little walk right now too. And please just call me chuuya" you nodded smiling softly as you both stepped in the elevator, now feeling more relaxed.

"is there anything you'd like to see first?" chuuya asked before pressing any button. You shook your head and he nodded "then we'll start floor by floor" the moment You both stepped out of the elevator, you were suddenly aware of the many eyes on you and it made you feel very, very uncomfortable. It was like every person in the floor was staring at you and judging you.

Your gaze fell on the floor and you whispered to chuuya "is it just me or is everyone staring?" chuuya kept his eyes ahead, chuckling softly. He didn't need to look around the room to see what everyone was looking at. "don't worry. This is the first time the mafia is seeing their boss's partner. That's why they're all staring. They don't mean any harm" even though he said that, he still looked around the room once with his eyes cold and stern. And once was enough to make all the men look away.

You didn't notice when people stopped staring at you because you were already busy looking around the huge place. There were so many long hallways and even more doors that you were sure you'd get lost in here if you wander around alone. Every person around you stepped back as you walked past them. But thankfully you were distracted enough to pay them no mind.

"this is the security room" chuuya said stopping in front of a black door before opening it. You hummed leaning forward on your tiptoes to look at the dark room. The only light in there being the many monitors that showed each and every part of this building. "you can go inside" chuuya smiled as your eyes widened "I can?" he nodded "of course you can" he held the door open for you but before you could take a single step in, the men sitting inside were already standing up and bowing a full 90°. Ah they must have probably seen you with dazai through the cameras when you had entered the building. Your eyes widened even more and you hastily said "p-please continue your work!" before looking at chuuya who nodded chuckling softly and closed the door.

"let's not go inside any room from now" you look at him sheepishly and he nodded "as you wish" you had a feeling he was trying to be polite by now laughing at you.

The next half hour went by a blur. Walking around the building, with him showing you the various rooms. You actually managed to see the inside of their training room because it had glass doors instead of the black wooden ones. From the outside you could see various types of guns hanging on a wall and many men training. And After only seeing men on every floor, you were surprised and very happy to see a girl outside the training room. She was wearing a mask so you couldn't see her face but before you could stop yourself, you waved at her with an excited smile. Your smile softened when you saw her eyes widen for a moment before she shyly waved at you and bowed before entering the room.

"that was Gin" chuuya said as you both walked towards the elevator "gin?" you looked at him and he nodded "Gin akutagawa. She is Ryunosuke's sister" your eyes widen in recognition "I didn't know he has a sister. They seem completely opposite of each other " you smiled at the image of the two siblings "they are" chuuya replied shortly.

After walking around the building for another 10 minutes, you were starting to feel tired. You've been walking around since 40 minutes but there are still places left to see. It seems like chuuya noticed your pace getting slower and stopped before turning around and looking at you "are you feeling tired, y/n San?" you smiled slightly and nodded "a little" ''would you like some water?" chuuya asked pressing the button on his ear piece and you nodded again "yes some water would be great. Thank you" he gestured for you to follow him "this is the resting area. You can rest here for a while and then I can take you back to the boss's office" he told you before saying something in his ear piece.

You wanted to tell him that you were fine and that you can continue the tour but before you could say anything, you both heard a commotion from nearby. Chuuya's gaze snapped towards the voices and he looked at you for a second "please wait here for me y/n San. I'll be back in a second" you know that you're safe here. This building literally belongs to your boyfriend and all these men work for him. But still the idea of being left alone in between all these new faces made you a little uncomfortable so you shook your head and stood up "I'll come with you" he nodded and got in front of you. All this time he was walking besides you so you were confused as to why he suddenly got in front of you "I'd like You to stay behind me" all the warmth in his voice had disappeared and you recognized the coldness in his voice. You've heard it before when he's doing his job as dazai's bodyguard and second in command.

You followed him as he walked towards the direction where the voices were growing louder and louder, until you both reached what looked like a room made for holding different types of weapons. You peeked around chuuya to see a small group of men standing at the center of the room but your eyes widened when you saw him "dazai?" you whispered, a smile blooming on your face but it soon dropped when chuuya growled "what the fuck are you doing?" you realised that the words weren't directed to dazai but the man standing in front of him.

"y/n San don't come any closer" chuuya said without looking at you and rushed by dazai's side. Your nervousnsess seemed to grow when you sensed the tense atmosphere in the room. Dazai looked calm at once glance but if you looked closely you could see the coldness in his eyes as he raised a single hand "chuuya. Stand back" Chuuya's jaw clenched but he didn't argue and stood a step behind dazai.

"now" a shiver ran down your spin when his lips tugged up in a smile. Not the smile that he gives you. But a cold and humorless one. "why don't you continue?" his voice was calm when he spoke to the man in front of him and only then did you look at the unknown man. While dazai looked as calm as ever, the man in front of him seemed to be shaking with fear. You looked at dazai nervously when he took a step ahead, causing the man to step back "you were saying something weren't you? Cat caught your tongue?" his lips pulled up in a smirk and there was almost a pleasant glint in his eyes when the man opened his mouth to say something "you're crazy" he sneered causing an empty laugh to slip past dazai's lips "oh really? I wouldn't have known until you told me"

Suddenly your eyes caught the movement of the man's hand and your eyes widened when you noticed the shine of a knife in his belt. For some reason the only thing going in your mind was that you had to take dazai out of here. So your legs started moving before you could even comprehend it and you were already running towards him. The man stumbled back when you got in between him and dazai and you breathed shakily reaching up to cup his face "samu" you whispered, your thumb rubbing his cheek softly. You didn't know what you were feeling when his gaze fell on you. That cold and empty gaze looked at you for a moment before a smile pulled up on his lips. But that wasn't the same smile he gave you almost an hour ago. That smile was full of love and warmth but this one lacked both of those emotions.

Chuuya had pulled his gun out the moment you stepped in but you were too busy trying to find your dazai to notice that. Your eyes searched his and you felt his hand gracing your waist in a light, feathery touch. And then as you continued looking in his eyes, trying to find the same warmth, you realised with a sinking feeling that you weren't looking at your lover right now. You were looking at the most feared man in the city.

"sweetheart" he mumbled, his fingers digging in your skin slightly with his voice void of an emotion. He always calls you that so why did it feel so different right now? "go back to my office. I'll be there soon" he wasn't asking you. He was telling you to go back. But that didn't stop you from shaking your head. You needed to get him out of here. "come with me" you whispered with pleading eyes, gripping his coat and hoping that your dazai would come back.

Before he could say anything, you heard chuuya yell "oi!" and all of a sudden, your were in dazai's arms. His arm was wrapped around your waist tightly and you were pulled in his chest. Your heart was pounding when you looked up, noticing that every man standing in this room were pointing their gun at the man who was arguing with dazai. "d-dazai?" you called him turning your head back and a fearful gasp left your lips when you saw dazai gripping the sharp end of the knife with his bare hand. The knife that was inches away from touching you. You looked up at him, tears filling your eyes when you saw the blood dripping from his hand while the man holding the knife stumbled back with wide eyes "samu y-your hand-" he shushed you softly. Placing a hand on the back of your head, he pulled you in so that your face was hidden in his chest. Once he was sure that your vision was blocked, he kissed your head and mumbled the words that only you could hear "those pretty eyes were only made to look at beautiful things, angel. Not at these worthless and pathetic beings"

Because your vision was blocked, you couldn't see him flipping the knife around in his injured hand. But you heard the blood curdling scream that left that man's mouth when dazai raised his hand and stabbed straight above the man's heart. Your eyes widened and your hands trembled as you gripped his coat tightly at the same time another scream echoed the walls.

A cruel smile lifted dazai's lips as he twisted the knife in the man's flesh. His smile widening at the screams and cries of help. "you know" he mused digging the knife deeper "I would have loved to hear you talk, had you not made the mistake of thinking you could get away after trying to hurt my love" with that he pulled the knife out only to stab him again. A small whimper left your lips when you heard another scream. The one that caught your lover's attention even with all the screams and cries. It was as if your voice snapped him back from his deranged haze. He dropped the knife and looked at chuuya who nodded, ordering a few men to take away the body.

He rubbed the back of your head with his uninjured hand, mumbling "don't look back angel. I want you to only look at me. Do you understand?" your reply was a small nod as you slowly pulled back and looked up with teary eyes . His jaw clenched at the sight but he didn't said anything and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, walking towards the elevator. The whole way towards his office, you didn't say anything but your bottom lip trembled when your eyes caught the sight of his bloodied hand hanging by his side. Chuuya took a different elevator and followed you both at a distance as dazai guided you back to his office.

As you entered the room, you turned around and looked at chuuya, your voice coming out shaky "c-can I get a wet towel and a first aid kit please? " "right away" chuuya replied and you saw him speaking something in his ear piece just as the door fully closed. You didn't say anything as you took his good hand and guided him towards his desk but you felt his eyes on you the whole time. When a knock sounded, you rushed towards the door and opened it to find chuuya standing there with the things you asked for. Taking the kit and the small basket of wet towels from his hands, you whispered a small thank you and turned around not waiting for his reply.

Still chuuya nodded as the door fully closed, and he turned around, standing there on guard with his hands clasped behind him "no one is allowed to enter this floor until I say so" every guard in the hallway nodded before passing the order in their ear pieces.

You found dazai leaned against his desk, watching you silently as you stood in between his legs, holding his injured hand gingerly and started cleaning the blood off of it. He didn't as much as blink an eye but you felt your own getting teary when you saw the blood staining the whole towel. You exhaled shakily, treating the wound as gently as you could all the while avoiding his eyes.

He observed you silently. His sharp eyes not missing a single detail from your shaky hands to you avoiding looking at him. His looked away for a moment, his voice coming out eerily calm "are you scared of me?" your movements halted and you finally looked at him. Again, his face seemed calm but you didn't miss the subtle tense in his jaw and the many emotions swirling in his eyes. Holding his uninjured hand for a moment, you said "I'm not scared of you, Osamu" his gaze fell on you and he gently squeezed your hand "then why are you avoiding me?" he asked quietly and you looked down again, resuming yout work "i-i'm not'' you both know that was a lie.

Placing his pointer finger under your chin, he tilted your face up, mumbling "look at me angel" you were trying to avoid his eyes to stop yourself from crying. You didn't want to appear so weak in front of him but you couldn't help it. A single tear ran down your cheek and dazai pulled you to him swiftly, wrapping an arm around your shaking form "i-im sorry" you whimpered burying your face in his chest while dazai's brows furrowed "why are you apologizing? You've done nothing wrong sweetheart" he whispered, his hold around you tightening as he pressed multiple kisses on your head "y/n please don't cry" he buried his face in your hair, exhaling the sweet fragrance of your shampoo "y-you got hurt because of me" you pulled back slightly to look at him and wiped your tears, a smile almost pulling on your lips when you saw the visible confusion on his face "what do you mean I got hurt because of you?" his honey eyes stared in your own as he patiently waited for you to finish your sentence.

"well" you looked down "i-i feel like if I hadn't come in between, then you wouldn't have gotten hurt. It was silly of me. Chuuya and everyone else wouldn't have let you get hurt even if that man had tried to attack you. But because I came in between.." you trailed off fiddling with the buttons of his coat. He tched shaking his head with a small sigh and made you look at him "angel I didn't get hurt because of you. That shit head was thinking about swinging his little knife at me before you were there too" your eyes widened at his words "y-you knew he was thinking about hurting you?" a raspy chuckle left his lips as he nodded, taking your hand and pressing soft kisses on your fingers "of course I did" he mumbled "then why didn't you move away? O-or-" he cut you off with a small smile "because thinking and doing are two different things, doll. He was thinking about it. He wanted to do it but he couldn't. He didn't have the guts to stab the boss so he decided to be a fucking coward and tried to hurt you thinking he'd have a chance to escape" his eyes darkened at the last sentence and his arms wrapped around your form, pulling you in his deep embrace again.

You hugged him back, noticing all the tension leaving his body as he relaxed against you. His voice much more soft now "you didn't hurt me angel. You'll never hurt me. So stop worrying that pretty little head, you hear me?" you nodded pressing a soft kiss on his jaw "Samu?" he hummed nuzzling his face in your neck causing you to giggle softly as you placed one hand on his shoulder while the other stayed wrapped around him "what did that man do? Y-you looked angry when I got there" you asked hesitantly not knowing if he'll even answer it or not. He has told you many times before that the less you know, the safer you will be. But there are only rare times when dazai truly gets angry. So you couldn't help yourself but ask.

He sighed tiredly and pulled back a little to cup your face with one hand "we found out that there were a few spies in the mafia" your eyes widened at that "chuuya had managed to find every one of them expect one person" "you knew that man was the spy?" he nodded looking proud at how quick you catch on "I had my doubts but I didn't want to risk him running away so I stayed quiet until my doubts were cleared. When he saw me he got flustered and you know a flustered human will always make mistakes. He didn't have any chance of escaping so he started babbling nonsense" he didn't want to tell you that the nonsense he was speaking, included you. He was already planning on how to make him see hell on earth but you gave him a quick death by coming in between. He wasn't mad at you about it. If anything, it made him realise the difference between you and him once again. While he's out here killing people, you're saving them without even knowing. And a quick death wasn't known as a punishment in his books.

He noticed you've gone quiet again as you absentmindedly played with the locks of his hair "sweetheart" you looked at him questioningly, his hands a little desperate as he pulled you in "tell me I didn't scare you" you smiled softly cupping his face and leaned forward until your lips brushed against his "I'm not scared of you, Samu. You didn't scare me. I was just a little... I can't find the right word for it but I'm not scared of you" he looked at you quietly for a moment before exhaling and pulling you back in his arms "I love you" he mumbled kissing the side of your head and you smiled "I love you too samu"

After a few moments of him holding you, you turned around in his arms so that your back was pressed against his chest and his one arm was wrapped around your waist . He watched you silently as you gently cradled his bandaged hand close to your chest "does it hurt?" you whispered and he could only manage a small shake of his head as he felt his heart skipping a beat when you raised his hand to your lips and pressed a soft kiss on his knuckles.

He knows what you were feeling. The emotion you couldn't name and neither could he to be honest. He was damaged since the early age of 14 so blood and gore didn't have any effect on him. Catching and punishing spies wasn't any surprise either. But this was the first time you, his precious angel witnessed something like this. And he was mad at himself for every letting you see something like this. When he was walking you to his office, he was convinced that he had scared you. That you will start hating him after seeing the side of him that he desperately wanted to hide. That this morning was the last time he was able to see your sweet smile. So imagine how he must have felt when you still welcomed him with open arms. When you still kissed him and heard him and held him with that smile and gentle warmth.

As he saw you softly caressing his injured hand, he wondered how you can treat him with the same love and affection after witnessing his true side. Holding you again was another thing. He was terrified that he won't ever be able to see you and your warm smile again. It scared him more than he expected. And this was the first time his expectations had gone wrong but he was so glad they did went wrong. Because he fell for you all over again. He loved you a little more than yesterday and he held you just a little tighter as you kissed his cheek, asking if you both can go home now.

Home. He never thought he would have a place that he could call home but here he was, letting you decorate his lifeless penthouse with your yellow cushions and curtains and flower pots and what not.

Smiling softly, he nodded, holding you just for a second more before pressing a deep kiss on your lips.

"let's go home, sweetheart"

[frankenjoly]

btw y'know how atsushi has been like "why did akutagawa save me" after ch. 88

well

i like to think this is when it fully clicked for him :3