#i do enjoy the occasional ''everything just works out first try'' but i mainly enjoy the process of making mistakes and learning

[dandyshucks]

quick thing abt lrb, whenever i rb posts like that there's the unspoken caveat that maybe my F/Os arent perfect like that but they do try hard anyways and if they ever mess up then we figure it out together :] maybe they do think im silly sometimes but then once they learn more they realize that was a shitty thing to think and they grow and learn and we grow closer through mistakes and growing as people together !!!

[seokmthw]

daisy | sung hanbin

this is part of the zb1 flowers series!

⇢ meaning: daisies represent new beginnings and innocence

⇢ pairing: hanbin x reader

⇢ warnings: exes to lovers, angst, fluff

⇢ synopsis: after not having time for each other in your college years, you and your boyfriend break up. by some twist of fate, you meet again a few years later.

⇢ word count: 2.4k

⇢ note: hanbin is genuinely so perfect and so easy for me to write for. i hope you all enjoy this little addition to the flower series, up next should be matthew! i am loving writing this so far :) this was kind of inspired by for the first time by the script so if you wanna listen to that while you read you can!

“i just don’t think this is working out, hanbin.”

those were the words he never wanted to hear from you, although he knew deep down that there was a strong sense of truth behind them. you both were going to college and invested in your own extracurricular activities, you had to go to classes and do homework and projects, and you also had to work in order to survive throughout your schooling. 

the harsh reality was, there was never really any time for just the two of you.

you were pacing the room back and forth, your eyes flitting to anything and everything that wasn’t hanbin, because you knew the moment your gaze met his, you would start crying. you didn’t want to have to do this, you wanted so badly for it to work out, but all of your attempts had proven this entire situation to be a lot more difficult than it originally seemed. 

you huffed out of frustration, finally deciding to sit down on the edge of the loveseat in hanbin’s living room. you found interest in the way a corner of the throw rug curled up, desperate to find the words to tell him that you didn’t want this to come to an end, but they never came. instead, your wants died in your throat and were replaced with the words you never dared speak until now, “i think we should break up.”

silence clung heavily to the air surrounding the two of you. hanbin knew it was coming, as did you, but it didn’t prepare you for the utter heartbreak either of you felt. you blinked, and a stray tear dripped down onto your cheek, much against your will, and alerted the boy next to you. 

in all honesty, he was trying to keep himself together too, but the moment he saw you crying he was able to easily forget about himself. within mere seconds he was on the floor in front of you, one of his warm palms made its home on top of your thigh, “hey, don’t cry, it’s okay.”

“that’s the thing, bin,” you sadly laughed, glossy eyes finally meeting with his, “it’s not.” 

he sighed, soon taking a seat next to you on the cushion of the loveseat, pulling you into his chest. almost immediately, you were a sobbing mess, and hanbin would be a liar if he said he wasn’t crying too, but it was mainly because he hated seeing you hurt so much. the two of you sat like that for a while, relishing in the last moments you would have as a couple, because you knew you would never get this back. 

it just wasn’t in the cards for you. 

the room had gone silent once again aside from an occasional sniffle erupting from the both of you. managing to get the strength to make eye contact with him, you couldn’t help but feel tears well up once again the moment his expression softened and the look of adoration in his eyes was reflecting back to you. 

parting your lips, your voice was barely above a whisper as you said, “i’m so sorry.”

“please don’t be,” hanbin was quick to respond, “you don’t ever have to be sorry for something like this. i know this is for the best. right person, wrong timing, right? maybe someday in the future, you and i can start over and see where it takes us, yeah? for now, we can just focus on college and trying to get through the next couple of years.”

you nodded, albeit reluctantly, and leaned up to press a sweet kiss to his lips, “i will always love you, hanbin.”

“and i will always love you, y/n, no matter what.”

after breaking up with hanbin, it was rare you were ever able to actually talk or see each other. college got far too busy and overwhelming for the both of you, and the little time you’d had to see each other before was completely diminished the more time went on. 

your heartache was finally beginning to subside, and you even attempted dating a couple of times since hanbin, but none of them worked. you’d managed to end up with people who you just didn’t have chemistry with or who were complete assholes, there was really no in between when it came to that. 

with college graduation coming up, you knew you would see hanbin. he would be walking across the same stage as you, having his name called, and his face plastered on the big screens around the arena the ceremony was being held in. 

he looked good, there was no doubt about that. he always did. you couldn’t help the way you gawked at him, or how well his graduation gown fit him, or how his hair was perfectly parted to the side how you remembered liking it to be. part of you wondered if maybe he did it on purpose, knowing you would be there to see, but you knew he wouldn’t be petty like that because you ended on such good terms. 

you didn’t expect to get so teary eyed seeing him for the first time in a little over a year, but you were dabbing away tears moments before you walked to receive your diploma, managing to play it off as being proud of yourself and your accomplishments.

you knew it was better off this way, but god, did it hurt.

as you were walking back to your seat, you made eye contact with him, offering a small, shy smile to him as you did you so. he returned it, his eyes forming into the pretty crescent shapes you loved so much, and he gave you a nod of acknowledgement, hands coming up in front of him to give you a clap. 

but little did you know, the moment you were out of his sight, he burst into tears.

“shit, shit, shit,” you hissed under your breath, one hand gripping your iced coffee and the other rummaging through your bag for your keys, but they were nowhere to be found.

this was the icing on your cake today; you’d missed your bus this morning, somehow managed to break the printer at work - which would be coming out of your paycheck, by the way - and had now lost the only way to get into your apartment after a long and stressful day.

you groaned in frustration, looking through your belongings once more before finally admitting defeat and deciding to walk back downstairs to the front desk in hopes of them having a spare so you could crawl into your bed and sleep for the rest of the night.

you messed around inside your bag as you walked, not paying any attention to the path in front of you, and inevitably ramming into someone, your coffee exploding in your hand and soaking your clothes and most likely your neighbors’.

“oh my god, i’m so sorry,” you exclaimed, eyes scanning the damage that had been done, feeling a pang of guilt wash over you at the sight of a giant wet patch on the stranger’s crisp, white t-shirt.

there was a chuckle from the other person, “that’s okay, y/n.”

your head snapped up at the use of your name, eyes nearly falling out of your head from how wide they had gotten at the sight in front of you. sung hanbin, your ex-boyfriend, and now the person you spilled a cold coffee all over. to say you were surprised to see him was an understatement - you had thought he was abroad somewhere to broaden his teaching practices.

“h-hanbin?” you managed to stutter out, looking around the hallway to see if anyone else was around and whether or not you were imagining this, “do you - do you live here?”

“i do, i suppose we’ve just never run into each other,” he flashed the same smile that still somehow made butterflies go crazy in your tummy.

you blinked slowly, somehow still unable to believe that this was happening to you, “how long has it been since we last talked? a couple of years maybe?”

he nodded, “i think so,” he quirked an eyebrow up in question, “if you don’t mind me asking, what were you in such a hurry for?”

you laughed, defeatedly looking back down at the mess you’d created in your haste to get downstairs, sheepishly replying, “i kind of lost my keys and was going to see if there was a spare available.”

hanbin chuckled, and you knew by the way he did so he was about to say something you didn’t want to hear, “i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the front desk is closed for the weekend.”

“of course it is,” you remarked, “this is just how my day is going.”

hanbin appeared to be contemplating something, almost as if having a battle within his own brain, before finally stating, “if you need somewhere to stay, you can stay in my apartment for the weekend. you can have my bed and i can sleep out on the couch.”

if there was something you would never, ever forget about sung hanbin, it was his kindness. no matter what the situation was, he was always putting others before himself and offering a helping hand whenever anyone needed, and you were sickeningly reminded of how he’d always treated you so well when you were together despite not getting to spend much time together.

you were baffled, to say the least.

“i don’t wanna be a burden or anything, so i-” you began but he cut you off almost immediately.

“i knew you would say that, and i promise you that i wouldn’t have offered if i didn’t mean it.”

your gaze met with his, and the sincerity behind his eyes was hard to miss. you tried to suppress any past feelings for him that threatened to rise up as you nodded, merely following him to his front door and into his apartment, which was so wholeheartedly hanbin.

it smelled of his cologne and was neat, not a single thing out of place, just like it had been in his college apartment. you shyly walked in behind him to the living room, taking a seat on his plush couch the moment he motioned for you to do so.

“is there anything i can get for you? i want you to be as comfortable as possible while being here,” hanbin asked, taking a seat next to you, his eyes glittering in the dim lighting, taking shape of those pretty little crescents you remembered so vividly.

“i think i’m okay for now,” you answered honestly, “i just appreciate you letting me stay here, you honestly saved me a lot of trouble.”

a little while later, after a small debate between the two of you broke out about borrowing one of hanbin’s shirts since yours was soaked with coffee, a comfortable silence had fallen between the two of you; he was cooking up a meal in the kitchen and you’d found interest in a book he had sitting on his table.

you couldn’t help but steal a glance at him every once in a while, having memories of moments exactly like this from your college years flooding your brain. you shook your head, training your eyes back onto the words of the page you’d reread over and over because you just couldn’t focus.

“am i right in thinking you don't like onions?” he asked, eyes now gently trained on you as you registered his question in your mind.

how he remembered such a miniscule detail about you blew your mind, though you tried not to let that show, “yeah, they’re disgusting.”

hanbin chuckled at your response before he finished up making your dinner plates and sat down next to you on the couch, handing you the meal he had made for the two of you to eat. you thanked him quietly, digging into your meal with a content sigh. you couldn't help but take note of the way hanbin’s gaze stared into you.

you finally had the courage to meet your eyes with his, a shy smile forming on your lips as you chewed on your rice, “is everything okay?”

“can i say something, y/n?”

you nodded, nervous for what he might say to you. maybe he was just gonna tell you to find somewhere else to stay for the weekend, but you knew hanbin, and your thoughts couldn't have been further from the truth.

“i never got over you from college, you know,” his words were carefully articulated, making sure to get his point across, “and seeing you a few years later, i think i’ve fully come to the conclusion that i never will.”

you swore you were going to choke on the bite of your food you had just taken. you blinked a few times, finally managing to spew out a response to him, “really?”

he laughed lightly, “of course. when i said i would always love you, i meant it,” he paused to gauge your reaction, “you’re just as lovely as you were back then.”

“i think i could say the same about you,” you answered honestly, having now set your utensils down on your plate, fully engaged in the conversation, “i’ve been thinking it since i ran into you in the hallway.”

hanbin had mirrored your actions, though he had set his entire plate on the coffee table. he scooted closer to you, hand finding it's home on your cheek, and you instantly melted into his touch. his gentle demeanor was something you missed so dearly, and feeling some form of physical contact with him after so long was something you didn't think you needed.

he leaned forward, a small smile adorning his lips before he met them with yours, causing your stomach to do backflips. you inched slightly closer to him, resting your hands on his chest, and allowing him to fully kiss you the way he intended.

he pulled away, pressing his forehead against your own, and asked, “would you like to try us again? see where it goes? maybe do all of the things we never got to do together in college?”

“i would love that.”

“good,” he responded, kissing you once more, “because you’re stuck with me regardless."

[jackhues]

(mockingbird au!) stranded - platonic!quinn hughes

request: i have a request for the au! i loved the fic btw it was amazing. maybe you could do something where the reader gets stranded cause her car breaks down and jacks out of town for a game so she calls quinn to help?

requested by: anon : )

notes: this was so cute, i really like how it turned out! continue sending in requests for the au! check out the request rules below! thanks for requesting <3

mockingbird! au request rules!

tags: @woodruff-edwards , @austinbutlerscaresme , @zegras2crosby , @hockeyboysarehot , @ratkingbunting , @mysticaldonkey , @lam-ila , @babydollmarauders , @starjoyyy , @kjohnson-91 , @gavinbrindley @huggyhugh , @jackhughesily , @panarin10 , @equallyshaw , @power2myheart , @lynnismypseudonym , @beccaiscold <3

join my taglist!

gif not mine!

“shit, shit, shit,” you muttered to yourself, moving to the side of the road as you felt your car slow down.

it was the offseason in the nhl, and you were spending it in michigan. you’d passed a huge library a few days ago and unable to get it out of your head, you finally paid a visit. it was absolutely incredible, just you and thousands of other books. but of course, something had to ruin what would otherwise be a perfect day.

you’d barely reached the shoulder of the road when the engine sputtered, finally giving out. 

“you’ve got to be kidding me,” you muttered.

sure, your car was a little old, and jack had been on your case to get a new one for nearly a year, but you were too attached. and besides the occasional break down, it worked completely fine. 

your first thought was to call jack and ask him to pick you up, before remembering that he was out of town in some hockey tournament.

your heartbeat sped up at the thought of being all alone.

luke had gone with him, but quinn was still at the lake house, probably enjoying his time without humans around.

you dialled quinn’s number, breathing a sigh of relief when he picked up on the second ring. at least you wouldn’t have to hitchhike, or walk home.

“hey,” he answered. “what’s up?”

“hi, q,” you smiled sheepishly. “so, you know my ugly, old car that everyone keeps telling me to replace, but i won’t because i’m too attached to the metal junk box?”

“i remember that, yes,” he responded, laughing a little. “mainly because i’m one of the people who defend your decision to keep it.”

“yeah, you shouldn’t have,” you made a face.

“what happened?”

“it broke down on the way back,” you muttered. “and i know, i’ll get a new car eventually, i promise. i just-”

“wait, are you okay?” there was some shuffling from quinn’s end of the line. was he just getting out of bed?

“yeah, yeah, i’m fine,” you answered, a little hesitantly.

“you sure?” he asked. “you don’t sound fine. you’re not hurt, are you? where are you? i’ll come pick you up.”

you froze for a second. it was weird hearing someone sound so concerned for your safety. growing up, there wasn’t any concern for your safety or whereabouts, as long as you were in the house by curfew. even if you weren’t, the only concern was how horrible of a child you were.

“y/n? you with me?” quinn repeated, his voice more anxious than before.

“yeah, yeah, i’m here,” you confirmed, taking a deep breath to control your emotions. “sorry, i blanked out for a second.”

“don’t worry, kid,” he reassured you. “just send me your location, and stay on the line with me. i’m coming to get you.”

nearly half an hour later - the time being filled with quinn’s horrible  jokes and the two of you laughing uncontrollably at them - quinn arrived at your location. you climbed out of your car, taking all of your belongings with you.

quinn got out of his car, helping you place everything in his car.

“you’re okay, right?” he asked again once the two of you got on the road.

you nodded, trying for a smile. “i’m just upset about my car, it meant a lot. but i’m fine.”

“it was your first car, right?” quinn asked.

“yup,” you confirmed. “it was a shit car, even when i first bought it, but i got it for a good price. and i didn’t know anything about cars back then, so i thought it was a beauty.”

quinn laughed, “oh wow, make sure you take me the next time you get a car. we don’t want you ending up with another ‘beauty’.”

“shut up,” you swatted him, rolling your eyes. “i was gonna take you, but now i’m only taking jack and luke. you’re mean.”

“jack’s gonna make you buy a pickup truck or range rover, you know that,” quinn commented. “and luke’s gonna say no to everything because he’s too tall for them. why else do you think he likes the scooter so much?”

you laughed, clutching your stomach, “stop, oh my god. you are mean… but luke was kinda asking for it, going around everywhere on that scooter.”

“it was so ugly.”

you laughed again, shaking your head as you wiped tears from your eyes. “thanks for picking me up, quinn. when i remembered jack was out of town, i got a bit scared. i thought i was all alone.”

quinn was silent for a second, absorbing what you’d just revealed to him.

he knew a bit about your relationship with your parents, but he hadn’t realized how much it affected you. the fact that you didn’t count on anyone except jack broke his heart a little. no one should feel alone. ever.

“thanks for calling me,” he told you. “you’re not alone anymore, y/n. you’ve got me, you’ve got all of us. we’re family now. whether you’re stranded because your trash car broke down-”

“-hey!”

“-or something else entirely,” he continued, “you can count on me. i’m gonna come get you. i promise.”

you smiled a little, a small part of you wishing you’d met jack sooner. then you’d have met his entire family sooner, and maybe you wouldn’t have had to go through such a shit childhood. maybe you wouldn’t be so scared of being alone.

nonetheless, you were just grateful you found jack, and that his family accepted you wholeheartedly. it was more than you’d hoped for.

“thanks,” you told him.

“you don’t have to thank me,” quinn smiled at you. “we’re family.”

you grinned back, “well, in that case, i’m happy you came. i know you don’t like interacting with humans very much.”

he laughed, “i’ll make an exception for you.”

[deleteddewewted]

Ghost Learns That Patience Runs Out

Ghost x Gn! Reader

W/n: Ghost angst cause i said so. This is also very OOC mainly because I like some angsty and fucked Ghost concepts. Im basing some of this off of his comics since there are some concerning scenes with him having very concerning behavior towards vulnerable people. DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY (P.s. Commissions are open! You can commission me through my ko-fi. Dm me for details and commission specifics. Kofi Link Here!)

Summary: You love him, a lot. You are always so quiet and patient with him, wanting to make sure that his needs are met before your own. When he comes back from deployment you cook and clean for him. You make sure that everything feels relaxed and stress-free but its too much at times. Sometimes he looks at you and sees someone whom he hates. Sometimes he yells and breaks down while you're in the middle of helping him get clean. You take the verbal lashings and the occasional remarks in stride but you've hit your limit.

W: Unhealthy relationship, Simon "Ghost" Riley has issues, Break up, Hurt/ No Comfort, Hurt Ghost, Hurt Reader, Sad Ghost, OOC Ghost

You made sure everything was spotless. You knew how grimy and dangerous his work was, how much it weighed on him to do it and you wanted to make sure that your partner if that's what you could even call him, came back to a clean home.

You both hadnt said it out verbally, not that you thought you needed to, but you were together. Kinda. You knew he was only seeing you and he knew that you were only seeing him. It made sense to you to say that you were together but he never really enjoyed labeling your relationship. It started off as a mutual agreement to help each other destress but here you both were moving in together and sleeping in the same bed every night.

You did the laundry an hour before you knew he'd get home just so he'd have something warm and fresh smelling to put on once he took off his gear. You cooked something that would be rich in flavor and aroma while also being easy to eat since he didn't really take his time eating his meals.

You did everything to make the place feel like home to him.

Instead, when he opened up the door the first thing out of him was a grunt followed by his silence. He took off his gear, toeing off his boots by the door before taking off his socks. He was silent and had his back facing you but you didn't allow it to deter you.

"So, how was the flight back? I hope it wasn't too stressful. Im still cooking so you can go ahead and shower before eating, ok?" He didn't honor you with any response and instead walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him and turning on the shower.

You're used to it, his cold gaze and his uninterested attitude. You cold usually get him to relax with a meal or a quickie in the kitchen while your trying to cook. But you're tired, and your body is sore from working earlier in the day and preparing for his arrival.

"I'll set the table for us so you don't need to wait to eat!" You called out but you doubted he heard you.

When he came out of his shower, he was wearing the clothes you had set out for him and was toweling off his hair. The eyeblack was mostly removed but still stained around his eyes.

He said nothing, just sat down in his chair, and began to eat all while ignoring you.

"Did things go smoothly? Are John, Kyle, and Johnny ok?" You attempted to start the conversation again but were met with the sound of utensils scraping against the ceramic plate.

"We can talk about it later so you can unwind." You cut the conversation short and ate your food all while holding back the urge to cry.

His absence from your shared home was noticeable his presence was overpowering. He wasn't affectionate but he at least would answer your questions. He would at least touch you and pressure you that he was home. He would at least say a quiet "thank you" for the meal.

Instead, you both cleaned up the table and cleaned the dishes. He finished his and walked straight into the bedroom. You follow him once you finished cleaning the kitchen and began to undress. Maybe he wanted to have sex tonight. Maybe this would get him to speak to you or pay attention to you.

"Simon, I want you." You did your best, you even put on a bit of a show for him. But he wasn't looking at you. He just lifted up the sheets and laid down.

Maybe you were being too overly sensitive but his rejection hurt. It had you questioning if you were good enough for him if your body was pleasant to look at or to even touch.

You put on your usual sleeping clothes and joined him in bed. You slept with your back facing him. Sleeping next to him felt suffocating.

In the morning things weren't any better. He was talking to you but he was being crude and rude about the smallest of things. You had to go grocery shopping for something small and he began to berate you.

"How did you forget to buy more cooking oil? You're the only one in this house that cooks." It was getting annoying. His eyes never left you and it felt like you were a caged animal that he was keeping an eye on.

"I'm sorry, ok? I forgot. I was just excited that you were coming home and I forgot." You wanted to be patient, he was stressed all the time. He had to watch people die as part of his job but it didn't stop you from growing more and more upset with him every time he started these petty arguments.

"You don't leave the house most of the time. You're always here or at work. How could you forget something so basic? This is incompetence, Y/n." He had his face mask pulled down so you were able to see the majority of his face. He looked disgusted.

"Simon, please. You just got back, can we please just enjoy that? Can we enjoy that you're ok and back home for once?" You had the car keys in your hand, you were ready to head out to grab what you needed but he wouldn't leave it alone.

He snatched the keys from your hand and pushed you to the side.

"Why should we? I can't even trust you when you're alone and now you think you can go do it now?" He slammed the front door as he walked out.

The silence was deafening and relieving. He was gone.

You cried. You used to do it often when he would leave for a new assignment or when he would go without contacting you for months on end. But this was different. He was here. He was home. This should be the happiest time for you. Instead, it was painful. You wished he wasn't here. You wanted him to go away again.

You knew that he was nicer, calmer, and more understanding with his colleagues than he was to you. You knew this because of how he would talk about his coworkers. They were his family, his anchor. You wanted to be that support for him, to be his anchor that removed him from all of the gore and violence of his world.

But you weren't that person for him. You were his punching bag. His toy to fuck and use. He wasn't always rude but it was normal for him to be. You wanted him back, the man you fell for, the one who held you and told you that he adored you. You craved Simon back but it seemed that all that remained was his facade. His mask.

You didn't want to do this again when. he got back from the store. You didn't want to argue anymore with the person you thought you were committed to. He had problems and you weren't going to blame him for it but he wasn't the man you loved. This was not the person you met all those months ago.

You packed a bag with the essentials and started clearing up some of the mess that had started to appear since last night. You took everything you thought you might need for at least a few nights at a motel. You were tired, your body begging you to take a moment to breathe and relax but your heart was pounding in your chest and the. tears began to flow out.

When Simon got back, he noticed that the lights inside your guy's home were off. He stepped into the home, toeing his shoes off because he knew how much you hated cleaning the floor. He called out for you, he walked around the first floor of your home before placing the groceries on the table. He had bought some flowers and your favorite snack because he saw that you were low on them. He also felt like an ass for having been rude in the morning. He shouldn't have been mean to you. You were just trying to accommodate him. He did a around the house, calling your name.

The house was empty.

All of a sudden the space was too big and too small all at the same time. He was suffocating in his own skin, the air too hot for him. He ran up the stairs and barged into the bedroom. Some of your clothes and your suitcase were gone, and so was your toothbrush. But everything else was there, it looked like home. Yet, the picture you kept framed of the two of you that was on the nightstand was faced down and your keys were gone too.

He called your phone repeatedly. Message after message was sent to you and after a while, they stopped going through. He put on his shoes and ran out the door to see if he could find you in the general area but you were nowhere to be found.

You vanished into thin air and he was left to go back to an empty home just as he would have you do.

[soap-soaap]

Some Sanji headcanons!! Lots of random things and I'm not very good at writing/don't write often so sorry if it's bad </3 (a bit of sanuso)

After timeskip he wears a bit of waterline eyeliner everyday, because he likes the look of it and uses it as a kind of reminder to himself about timeskip and everything he learned. If anyone asks about it he'll get super defensive. He also has one or more dresses he kept from timeskip that he occasionally wears when he's by himself, with ussop (sanuso >>>>) or with nami/robin. He just trusts ussop in general with everything (like a second nature to him) but it took him longer to be able to wear them and be more feminine around nami and Robin as he was afraid of judgement. Whenever he dresses up for occasions/wears dresses he also wears mascara. He's VERY hygienic and a clean freak which comes from him being in the kitchens a lot so wanting to stay hygienic enough for the food to be hygienic but also just him wanting to stay clean in general. I think he and Robin borrow/share each others skincare/purfumes/haircare, while nami would rather use her own and nobody else use it, and if they were to want to they would be charged a fee (ofc).

I think Sanjis rivalry with Zoro is actually very special to him as it helps him to better himself and also gives him something to do, while also just liking annoying Zoro and having that (platonic because sanuso) relationship. He bakes cakes with Luffy and lets him lick the batter off the spoon in secret (washing the spoon THOROUGHLY - you never know what luffys eaten). He also loves to work in the kitchen when brook is playing music and will often just ask for him to play while he washes up or preps meals.

He LOVES his hair and treasures it a lot, looking after it with haircare, brushing it often and seeking tips from ussop (HE LOVES HAIRCARE THE MOST) or robin. Heterochromi,a Sanji ofc, one blue/sapphire eye and one very pale green one. He doesn't like them so tries to hide them (why his hair is over one eye) but sometimes uncovers them when he's feeling relaxed/overwhelmed and wants his hair out his face. He gives out the food with Robin nami and ussop getting the first three (he carries them all at once), Luffy next, brook and Franky and jinbe then Zoro last ofc. All though he LOVES to cook complex and difficult meals, he secretly enjoys the more simple ones the most. Like I said he's a clean freak, so sometimes he'll go and try to clean the other stawhats rooms out of frustration (he always gives up or gets too annoyed with them). Cleaning also helps him calm down and clear his head. He hates and loves his smoking, for differing reasons ; but he just can't bring himself to quit even if it were for the greater good.

He LOVES (even if he won't admit it) to get challenges on weird food combinations from the strawhats to try and make taste nice and he almost always makes them delicious. He's very unsure about his romantic feeling at first (he's very confused about ussop) and ends up going to robin for advice. I think him and Robin have a very strong friendship /platonic bond and Robin sort of mentors him with a lot of things, which he's very embarrassed about but secretly loves and relies on quite a lot. Zoro and Sanji actually mainly only argue because of how actually similar they are. They'd get along SO WELL if they didn't argue. I feel like Sanji would love to talk to brook about experiences he might have had (from him being quite old) (not sexual MOSTLY…) but he just wants to know things about the world, often linked to wanting to know about possibly a clue to where the all blue may be.

Although he's dedicated to his dream, he'd give it up for any of the strawhats. He truly loves them above all. He and chopper would often talk about what foods would be best for who, depending on diet and whatnot, so Sanji learnt a lot from him in terms of that. They'd often meet up every week or so to discuss it but when they eventually sorted everything out, they continued to meet up. They're so little brother big brother dynamic and I love it sm. Sanji would ofc do anything for chopper and chopper the same back. Their dynamic/friendship is so overlooked/underrated in the show but it's so cute <3

[saypleasetickleme]

Please read before interacting:

Hi, my name’s Alejandra, or Alex for short, but honestly I'll answer to most things as long as they're respectful. As I mentioned in my bio this will be a predominately (90%) tickle blog, but I do have broader kinks under the BDSM umbrella so, yeah, there might be the occasional smattering of things in that wheelhouse too.

Obviously with that being said this will be a NSFW blog. MINORS PLEASE DNI, it's for your own safety. If you do you'll be blocked immediately. Anyone that omits their age on their blog will also be treated the same. SFW blogs of age that interact will be treated in a sfw manner, but understand that my blog will likely never be entirely sfw.

My orientation is Lesbian, but imo tickles are for everyone so as long as men/masculine identifying individuals are happy with sfw tickles and don't get weird with it then this blog is definitely for you too <3

When it comes to my blog, and especially my own posts, everything is with the assumption that safewords are applicable and have been discussed -- If cnc is your thing that's fine, no judgment here, but please don't come into my asks or comment on my own posts trying to enact said scenarios. It's happened a few times now and you will just be ignored/blocked.

My favourite spots to tickle are wherever you're most ticklish. It's cliche, I know, but for me it's all about lees reactions...

My own ticklishness however is pretty non-existent. It's maybe a 2-3 on a good day unless we're talking two specific spots, and even then it's like a 5/6 max. It definitely works in my favour though, I'm always the least ticklish person in the tickle fight which means I always win 😏 

I first got into tickling at 18 irl and haven't really looked back since, but this will be my first experience with the online community.

Mainly a Ler, maybe 3% Lee under very specific circumstances... Very much enjoy the juxtaposition of playful verbal teases while completely wrecking someone.

My IMs will mainly be used for getting to know the community, please don't use them for request/scenarios ect they will be ignored unless we know each other well. My asks on the other hand are always open, though I will respond to them at my own discretion. If you prefer to interact anonymously then feel free to sign off with an emoji/name if you want me to know I’m talking with the same person each time, I’ll keep a list somewhere. Hate/harassment/homophobes/transphobes/TERFs/misogynists/bigots ect on and off anon will indisputably just be ignored/blocked. I don't intend to waste my time or energy on you.  

And last but certainly not least -- if you can't say my url out loud then you should probably get tickles as forfeit. Sorry, I don't make the rules 🤷‍♀️

[spacecrows]

The thing that really sucks about ADHD and ADHD meds for me is that it’s so difficult to tell if I am medicated properly or not? Like I know I am very lucky that the only other meds I ever really need are the occasional ibuprofen for a headache or something to help with nausea a few times a year (and like contraception and vitamins lol) - but when I am in pain I notice the pain I think “I should take an ibuprofen” and once I do the pain gets better and if it gets worse again I notice and take another. Same with nausea. It’s easy. But with ADHD, most of my “symptoms” when I am unmedicated just feel like character flaws? So for 20-something years before I knew I had ADHD I just thought I was just a procrastinator and stupid for not being able to read long texts and that I was really lazy and that I just got exhausted way too quickly and had to try harder and harder and harder and if I couldn’t, that was on me.  ANYWAY, when I finally did get my diagnosis it was already such a relief and such a help and therapy has also been really really good. But. The meds! I started taking meds and at first I didn’t notice much of a difference, because for me ADHD means that I have very high highs and very low lows, both in terms of mood and in terms of focus, productivity, etc. So when I started taking them, I thought I just had a few rather productive high functioning days. And since even on meds, things can still be difficult and the highs and lows are not gone completely, things were sort of blurry. But after a few weeks I forgot to get my prescription and went a couple days without them, and I realized this huge difference. I have not found my perfect meds yet, so I still struggle. But it is such an enourmous difference. Things are so much less difficult for me. Functioning is so much easier. It’s not like I am suddenly great at everything, I still forget 50% of the things I need to do and still procrastinate and still struggle with motivation, but things are doable. And I feel better about myself. Well, a month ago I changed my meds (mainly because I want to find something that gives me some inner peace and quiet once in a while? if anyone has any recommendations please let me know! magic mushrooms worked like a charm but ideally i’d like something. you know. legal. a girl can dream I guess). And I started with the lowest dosage. And that was evidently not enough for me. But I didn’t realize that I was not medicated properly, because there wasn’t some sort of distinct “symptom” to alert me. Instead, my sleep pattern slipped. Food was a struggle. Chores and urgent paperwork started to pile up. I felt days slipping by where I couldn’t get myself to do anything, really, not even hobbies I enjoy. And because it was gradual, and these are all things I struggle with (to some degree) even on meds, I didn’t realize what was happening. Instead, I got frustrated with myself. I thought “Wow, I am so lazy, I can’t get anything done. How do all my friends have their shit together and I just can’t cope? Why am I so stupid? Why am I such a procrastinator? Why don’t I have any energy? I am so undisciplined! I just really need to try harder!”. Needless to say, getting angry at myself didn’t really change much - except making me miserable. Until I realized that when I forgot to take my meds, I didn’t notice any difference. So I tried a higher dosage and suddenly, magically, I had the energy to do one or two small chores a day and answer one email and get out of bed and read a book I like and hang out with friends a few times a week.  But even after all that! I forgot to take my meds this morning, and I had the worst day. I was completely exhausted, felt weird, didn’t manage to reply to urgent messages from friends, took a depression nap and felt worse. Read the same page in my book over and over and over and over again and couldn’t make sense of it. Hated every single person on public transit that even breathed too loudly. Wanted to break out into tears on the tram (and nearly did). Only to realize around 5 pm that I hadn’t taken my meds. Took them, and pretty instantly felt better. I think I’ll tidy up my room a little now. And maybe even read a few chapters before bed. Things are fine. But I really really want some sort of inner alert that tells me if I have taken my meds and if the dosage works for me. Something like that. Please!!!

[personalizationai]

It appears rookie is going through the horrors...

Can you tell us more about them ? (Both rookie and the horrors!!)

oh man theres a lot. this is going to be long.

rodrigo “rookie” carvajal has been working with cleanup crew for a good few months now. he started his job at 16, is now 17 (his birthday was february 25th)

basic info on why hes here: rookie got a fake ID from a friends friend to be able to apply for the position of a scavenger. In our little ocverse we imagine the company has a minimum age requirement of around 20. the reason why he would do this at all is because he had become dedicated to the idea of “honoring” his (presumed) dead father lee. he believed that he had no other options left forwards, and that he should have been brave like his dad was.

anyways, ill try and condense the insanity that has been his time at cleanup crew the best i can…

- In his first few days/weeks, rookie was a pretty positive and spunky guy. He was very willing to follow around Dopey, as he’s the defacto leader of the group. Things were… Ok, but that all was shattered by one experience: inspector has a hand in this . Before he appeared physically and revived, he was communicating to dopey. a voice in their head tormenting the scavenger, promising things like a promotion and in general a way out of the cycle. Dopey had killed rookie with a stop sign, profusely apologizing and crying. When questioned about what happened, Dopey lied. Said it was a monster outside.

- After this, rookie became much more closed off from other people, mainly only sticking around lieutenant. all the fear and whatnot built up inside of rookie and he snapped and killed dopey back with a shovel for… revenge. he didnt enjoy it. he tried to explain what had happened, but nobody believed him, and dopey had made it out as if he was just unstable. dopey considered them even now, but an experience like that haunted him for a good long while. hes still scared of stop signs to this day. (not to mention that he was beginning to realize then that he IS dying. and he IS being brought back.)

- then, in comes inspector. from even the first few days of his arrival, he provided rookie support and comfort near constantly. dopey had a bad feeling every time he heard the man speak. rookie on the other hand, was like a moth to a flame. teen who lost his dad + scared and vunerable is insanely easy to manipulate. especially if youre presenting yourself now as someone older and more experienced who cares about you and listens to you ect ect ect.

- inspector would intentionally attempt to hide information from him, such as the sigurd logs note. (he noticed the note was being hidden from him). inspector also would occasionally kind of… try to sew distrust inside of rookie towards the other crew members, and especially fostering the distrust towards dopey further.

- eventually rookie does find the logs and reads them with dopey. they both learn a lot, and while rookie didnt trust dopey a lot then, this among other miscellaneous interactions made his thoughts and feelings towards dopey more complicated. he began to feel guilty for going against inspectors wishes of not “looking in too deeply”. because of this guilt, he confesses to inspector about what they had done. “rookie, what did dopey tell you?”. he promised rookie he wasnt mad, but inside he was SEETHING. its at that point that inspector realized how much of a problem dopey will be.

- dopey began to then realize via observation that rookie is being deeply deeply manipulated by inspector. this started a whole thing where dopey would try to forge more trust from rookie and attempt to get him to realize that hes being taken advantage of. later on, eventually rookie breaks down a bit to inspector alone on the company building (lower level). he admits how scared he is of everything. but most importantly: that he shouldnt be here. that hes only 16. he thought he could handle this all, but its starting to break him. they hug, and rookie hugged tighter than ever. inspector stood there. (dopey was secretly listening.)

- ANYWAYS fast forwarding. end of act 1 was essentially inspector enacting his plan of killing everyone on the crew to try and create so much violence and disorder to attempt and break the cycle through destroying the unity of its events and repetition. this doesnt work. brain managed to kill inspector. inspector is gone for a while.

- rookie attempted to try and be eaten by jeb to escape the cycle. overwhelmed, he only saw his way out of here through death. despite knowing he cant die, thought that maybe just MAYBE this way would work. it didnt, of course. but its more complicated than that.

- floating in the inbetween of life and death, a not very lucid post death rookie was offered a deal by thousands of voices from behind the wall: “do you want to forget?” he accepted.

gonna speed run act 2: FAUX IS HERE! ROOKIE IS STRUGGLING TO COPE WITH THE IDEA THAT INSPECTOR DIDNT CARE FOR HIM AT ALL. act 2 was a little fucking everywhere for many characters doing a lot of things, but whats important for rookie is this:

- rookie then could not remember a single thing that happened to him on cleanup crew. a partial mind wipe. but, anything that had reminded him of it would hurt. both mental and physical. eventually when dopey tried talking to him about everything that had happened, he was quite literally killed suddenly, vanishing. the nature of the deal that was made was that he wasnt supposed to recover these memories, and now that he had, he was killed for it. he comes back but… very jaded. there simply is no way out. none at all. he finds everything simply pointless, its quite the soul crushing feeling

- faux at some point comes onto the scene… rookie and faux were on and off interacting with each other, but eventually he ends up breaking down to faux and mentioning how “do you ever want to talk to somebody again, even if you know it would be bad for you?” this leads into faux revealing to rookie his real identity. rookie, both terrified and curious is a bit in a deer in headlights situation. he ends up asking a few things, such as what happened (he only saw the aftermath of all the death.) and if he really cared about him at all. inspector lies to him both times. he makes rookie promise to not tell anybody, and he doesnt.. but but some people manage to overhear… (dopey again for this, though brain and four were also contributers to OTHER OTHER shit about unamsking faux)

- eventually it all climaxs with a plan made by dopey and specs. dopey had presented this plan vaguely to rookie before faux revealed himself. “if i ask you to take a shot, i need to know if youll do it.” rookie says he cant promise that he will, but he’ll try.

- inspector/faux, now realizing that his cover is going to be blown, now rushes to try and get the gun that dopey and specs obtained first. he got it, but dopey managed to knock it out of his hands with a shovel. holding inspector back, dopey screams for him to take the shot. rookie screams back, babbling about how this wont do anything for anyone. about how they wont even die. about how theyll be right back here tomorrow.

-“for once in your life, trust me rookie!”

- he shoots. both inspector and dopey die at the same time to the same bullet. (this malfunctioned the respawn tech, and those two are now stuck in a sort of purgatory for a good long while. but not dead. they wont be dead just yet.) rookie collapses, defeated.

LOL SEASON 3 crick and deacon are here now!

- he waits for them to come back. he knows they will, but the longer theyre gone the more and more he doubts this belief.

- he becomes closer to four, they finally work through the whole lee connection… he confesses to four that he wishes that he was nicer, that he wasnt stupid. “why do i only think of this shit when its too late?”

- he leans into the people he loves and trusts, liuetenant and four being the main people.

- rookie is much more irratable now. hes trying to thrust himself into a leaderly/strong position in dopeys stead, but unfortunately hes not the best at it. he has almost no patience left for anything, and his only option left right now is to try and be stronger. to be more like dopey, like he told four he wished he was. dopey managed to handle so much, managed to be there for so many people. he wants to be that.

- MOST CURRENT SHIT THOUGH uhhhhh rookies best friend lieutenant told him that hes a robot and then a few moons later got fucking struck by lightning so hard it factory reset the guy into not having and memory in the system of who anyone is. or their friendship. this is upsetting to rookie because lieutenant was planning to tell the others themselves. rookie is deeply upset that this choice of his is now stripped away. nobody here has a lot of choices they can make for themselves, and thats just one less.

- also rookie snapped at crick when they started talking about themselves only having one week left. told crick that theyre trapped here basically. crick didnt believe. “maybe you just didnt try hard enough or looked hard enough to get in contact?” (to leave the job). rookie goes “ITS BEEN MY ONE WEEK FOR MONTHS!” once he calms down from searing hot he mumbles about how crick is “going to have to learn some day”. this mirrors what inspector had said when he first killed EVERYONE. “YOURE ALL GONNA FUCKING LEARN!” this is… intentional

[cherrys-side-bitch]

That scenario you did about the jojos with an s/o that scares the sh*t out of people was funny. Can I rq it but with mista, narancia and fugo?

Of course! I’m happy that you liked it!

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

𝕄𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕒, ℕ𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕚𝕒, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝔽𝕦𝕘𝕠 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒𝕟 𝕌𝕟𝕤𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕊/𝕆

gn! reader

Warning: Spoilers for the ending of Part 5

Yo Mista can't do this-

Brags about being a mafioso and being scared of nothing but as soon as they appear behind him he's gone. Or pointing a gun at them in fear.

Either one is just as likely.

Once he realized it's them he calms down and apologizes

He didn't know that they were under the bed so when he saw them just crawl out from under it was like something out of a horror movie.

Legit surprised Pikachu face when he finds out that they never intend to scare anybody.

Finds their love for the occult odd but as long as they don't bring it near him he's fine. It freaks him out.

Bible in hand when they start bending backward like some kind of demon. He's watched enough horror movies to know where this is going.

All jokes aside he doesn't want them to end up hurting themselves or somebody else. Unless they have a reason to harm the other person, then it's fair game.

Unsettled when they practically predicted everyone’s deaths, vaguely stating that something will happen hours before each incident.

He decides not to bring it up since the whispers that fill the room when the two are alone tend to agitate him.

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

When they start their rants about the occult he's very interested! He wants to learn all about their interests even if they are unconventional. He does get a bit freaked out sometimes but finds it fascinating.

He always sees the occult portrayed in the average tv way as most things are portrayed so seeing it's not that bad is pretty cool.

As much as he enjoys learning about it he tends to have a short attention span so he tends to zone out/get distracted quite a bit.

Similar to Joseph he finds their scary, mysterious vibe as part of their charm.

Happy that they can be them without worrying too much about what others think.

Sometimes forgets that there are a lot of flags within the whole scary person that scares people thing they have going on.

Mainly in the sense, that he doesn't mind that they sort of just appear instead of him hearing them walk up, the strange nearly inhuman bending they can do with their body, etc.

He just thinks they are cool and occasionally scary.

As they reach Sardinia they said something “this time coming a bit too soon”

He's put on edge when they didn't act surprised by Abbacchio’s death

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

Will scold them when they end up appearing out of nowhere. They sort of don't understand but try to refrain from doing it, it doesn't work.

He assumes they just have very quiet footsteps at first until they were walking in heavy boots, being able to hear them normally when they walk. That's when it truly started to disturb him.

Usually, he would never do a sort of investigation when it's something like this, so he simply asks them if they just walk very quietly or if they are purposely trying to scare him. When they ask what he means he gets a bit irritated but drops it.

He takes this as a hint to stay on guard more often because if he's getting scared this often by his s/o, who isn't trying to, he doesn't know how he might respond on a mission.

Appreciates that they have their hobbies but he didn't expect studying the occult to be one of them. Although he'd be lying if he said he wasn't interested.

The whispers that surround them are probably the biggest flag that something is wrong. Either for himself or them.

Because either he's going insane or what he's dating isn't human, and he'd rather not think of the latter.

He tells himself that he needs to get his eyes checked because shadows at a relative standstill should not be moving like that.

When Bruno gets back on the boat after everything with the incident they muttered, “Well, I wasn't expecting this but I suppose this outcome for preferable..”

Fugo simply thought they were just talking about him possibly dying from the boss.

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

[harper-collins]

Dipper's College Job - Billdip AU

Hello! This is going to be an ongoing oneshot series :) I hope you guys enjoy it! This is the two men meeting.

- Dipper had needed a job, and when this one had come around, he couldn't have been happier. He needed extra cash in college, and after realising some librarians did actually get paid, and it wasn’t all volunteering, the brunette signed up immediately. Mabel had laughed and said it was almost the perfect job for Dipper if it wasn’t the fact he couldn’t go exploring in anything but fiction whilst he was working…

Dipper had promptly ignored his sister though and moved on. He had a few extra things he wanted to buy, subscriptions he needed to pay for that didn’t fit the amount of money he had weekly, and this new job seemed perfect for remedying these exact problems the brunette had.

The only downside? It was the college’s library. Which meant that almost everyone who came barging into the library was bound to be a student on the campus. It was a large one too, which meant he wasn’t the only person on shift… However, he had been told by his boss that they were unlikely to see one another.

He would be on the desk, and his ‘co-worker’ would put away books, clean the shelves, and assist with any technical difficulties. Dipper was just in charge of putting books that were going to be taken by students in the system when they asked, putting books on a movable trolley and back into the system when they were returned, and sending polite emails to students who hadn’t given their books back in time… Asking for money.

Dipper didn’t think he’d have much of a problem, other than the occasional person who recognised him and had a laugh… But he was sorely wrong... On his first day, he didn’t see anyone who knew him, mainly because the people in his dorm enjoyed partying more than studying, and there was no homework for his course that needed the current library usage.

No, what he saw, who he met, was quite different. He’d never met this man before, never seen him on campus… But boy did Dipper regret taking his job once he met the male. Well, that’s too strong… He detested his job at specific hours of the day and enjoyed everything else about it. 

On his very first day, Dipper met him, the one who’d be a consistent part of his life from then on… He remembered it like it was yesterday…

“Well hello there, are you new?” The blonde asked with a smirk written across his face. Dipper looked up from the computer with a confused look on his face. “Erm… Yeah? Is there anything I can help you with?” Dipper asked shyly. The blonde chuckled and brought a book down on the reception desk.

“I’d like to take this book out please!” He said with glee. Dipper nodded and took the book. “Do you have your card with you?” Dipper asked and awaited the man’s ID. The blonde looked a little confused and checked his pockets. “Errr… No…” He awkwardly replied. “I must’ve left it in the dorms,” He continued, trying to excuse himself.

Dipper sighed and looked at what he needed. He’d have to put it in manually if this man wanted his book. “May I please have your full name?” Dipper asked with exasperation on his face. The blonde grinned devilishly, it made the brunette shiver. 

“Oh my my, only on your first day and already trying to get a man?” He teased, being extremely unhelpful. Dipper restrained the feeling of rolling his eyes. This was not someone he enjoyed being around. “Bill, Bill Cipher,” he eventually replied, seeing how Dipper was not impressed.

The brunette put his name into the system and saw that he was the only one who had his name, he went into the system and pressed the button that said it was going to be taking the barcode from the book. The brunette did just that and then stamped the date on the book for three weeks.

“I’m sure you know, but you have three weeks to return before we give a warning,” Dipper explained with a forced smile. Bill grinned with glee. “Oh don’t worry… Pinetree,” Bill replied, looking at the tattoo that sat on the right side of the brunette’s neck. It definitely was a picture of a tree, and it reminded Bill of a Pinetree.

Dipper felt a little embarrassed but tried not to show it. He ignored Bill’s nickname. “You’ll probably see me next shift!” Bill continued, grinning wildly at the brunette. Dipper groaned. He had meant to internally groan, but unfortunately, that hadn’t happened. It made Bill snort. “Maybe I should hang around for a bit longer, heh Pinetree? You seem to enjoy my… The company,” Bill said, edging his way closer to the brunette from his side of the desk.

Dipper moved to look behind Bill to see someone quietly waiting behind the blonde. Dipper smiled. “Maybe next time Cipher, but it seems I have someone to speak to,” Dipper responded, giving a tight smile. Now, he probably would’ve been told off by his supervisor for being so… Passive-aggressive to a customer, but something told Dipper that Bill didn’t mind.

It wasn’t as though Bill was buying anything anyway, and he had the feeling that the blonde would be coming back whether Dipper enjoyed it or not. The blonde turned to look behind himself and saw the person waiting behind him. Bill moved to the right, closer to Dipper and the person came up and gave Dipper their ID.

“Which days do you work?” Bill asked as Dipper got to work. The brunette sorted and input the book that the person was trying to take out. “As if I’d tell someone I just met,” Dipper responded, and then gave the person a ‘have a nice day’ to them as they left with the ID and card.

Bill rolled his eyes as the attention was turned back to him. “Well, I’ll figure it out Pinetree, you can’t hide them when you have to come in!” Bill chirped, grinning. Dipper shook his head slightly and got to work sending out more emails. Bill stared for another minute or so before sighing.

“Well, I’ll see you next time! Might have something else too,” Bill said in his seemingly usual chirpy tone. Dipper looked up at his computer for a moment to see the blonde staring at him. “Yeah yeah, see you when you return the book,” Dipper responded, waving him off. Bill’s smirk tightened for a moment before leaving without another word.

That was the beginning of his frustrating hours at the job he thought would be the best for him… And it was the beginning of Bill’s interest in a certain male…

[auxiliarydetective]

i come bearing many asks !! for starters, how about i ask about numbers four, seven, eleven, and twelve from the first part of your ask extravaganza for my beloved varsha ?

hope you're doing well, my love <3

Hiiii Dolly! Thanks so much for your ask!

4. What is the one thing about themselves that they would change?

She would never openly admit it, but she's a little jealous of Henry's green eyes. So, if she could, she would exchange her dark brown eyes for dark green ones, but it only takes Henry complimenting her eyes a couple of times for her to forget all about it.

7. What odd habit do they have?

In snake form or human form? Because she has odd habits in both. Well, the fact that she's moving around the ship in snake form in the first place could already be considered odd since, well... snake? But that’s just because people forget that this is actually her natural form and her human form is one she actively takes on for their convenience. In fact, she had to learn not to turn back into a snake whenever she falls asleep.

In snake form though, she has the habit of coiling around people for warmth. Specifically, she likes crawling under their coats and resting her head on their shoulders and will sometimes even fall asleep like this. Her favourite victim for this is obviously Henry (he even bought a wider jacket for this specific reason, but don't tell anyone), but she also occasionally does it with Tom or Skinner, and even did it with Allan once - but that was because it was very cold and he told her to.

In human form she has that adorable little quirk some people have where they stick their tongue out a little when they work - and it looks even funnier with Varsha’s forked tongue. Frankly, everyone in the League thinks it's adorable, but if anyone points her quirk out to her, she will get embarrassed and try her best not to do it for a while, only to then eventually fail.

11. What is their favourite and least favourite food?

Oof, that's hard. Her favourite food has to be something Indian, but I don't know what. Probably a sort of sweet, but I could also see her enjoying something spicy that would make the other League members' (excluding Nemo and maybe Allan) tongues catch fire. Varsha definitely has the highest spice tolerance out of the League. Nemo likes to pretend that he can keep up but he can't, he's just hiding the pain. As for her least favourite food, she probably doesn't like scones. She generally is personally offended by the English and their idea of tea as well as everything connected to it, so scones just seemed like a very obvious pick. Also, she doesn't like tiramisu because it has coffee in it.

12. What is their sleep schedule like? Do they get their 8 hours of sleep or do they run on caffeine?

Oh boy, Varsha's sleep schedule is a mess, at least from a human perspective, and that's mainly because of one reason: As a snake, Varsha is technically nocturnal. However, only technically, because she's living with humans and works on a ship run by humans, so she can't just sleep all day. Usually, she stays up late and sleeps until late morning, then catches up on the rest of her sleep through various naps throughout the day - because snakes also usually sleep a lot. She can pretty much fall asleep anywhere anytime but she's also a light sleeper, which isn't a good combination with her being able to sense the vibrations in the ground caused by people walking. She thinks she has gotten better at sleeping through it but actually the League members just learned to tread lightly. The worst thing that can happen to her is for the League to go on a mission, because then she she has to get up early and her whole sleep cycle falls apart - which is worsened by the fact that she hates coffee.

[philzokman]

help im leaving tomorrow for an 8 hour plane ride and i need fic recs

I AM SO GLAD U ASKED FJWKDHSJS

okay okay so these are gonna be a mix of skk and sskk but i hope u enjoy :D

1. everything or nothing by well that happened - skk

“College AU where Chuuya finds out that the boy he drunkenly made out with the night of orientation is his new roommate. His arrogant, smug, very straight roommate. And the boys are each convinced the other is trying to ruin their life by making them go absolutely insane.”

i think the most kudosed skk fic on ao3 so not very. underground indie. JDHSJ the writing style isn’t my favourite but the plot is really good and the characterisation. oh my ever loving fuck THE CHARACTERISATION!!! strong nsfw that i’m like 99% sure is quite crucial to the plot though so i’d maybe skip this if ur not comfortable with that!! (the first 6 ish chapters should be mainly fine though for that if ur just wanting smn small and funny)

2. waiting room by srxlee - sskk

“In which the smell of antiseptic becomes familiar, and the feeling doesn't hurt like it used to, yet it aches. Where Ryuunosuke battles his habit of loving that which is fleeting. And now his hand, calloused and bruised, just can’t seem to let go.”

HEKANDHWKS i would die for this fic. it’s absolutely amazingly written like genuinely there are like 6 chapters where my mouth was agape the whole time purely bc of the writing style. the plot is really interesting, and the author deals with illness very very well. it DOES have a happy ending im so proud to announce and it’s overall very very sweet and i love it please read it i beg KDHSJ

3. learn to love by thebackwardsstep - skk

“Dazai pissed in a stranger's car- because screw the bourgeoisie- and now he has a sugar daddy. What the fuck.”

i physically could not tell u a thing about this fic, i read it when i was suffering with the flu BUT from what i do remember it was surprisingly sweet and the main ending conflict is resolved by a bird so JDHAKSH also also also in spite of its name it only has like 2 nsfw scenes in it which are VERY easily skippable and also a scene where dazai dresses up as a girl and they go to a ball :D

4. debatable society by chlovrs - sskk

“Atsushi has always struggled with self-confidence so to boost him up, his friend Dazai convinces him to join their University debate society. It works for a little bit, he makes some friends and is actually able to like, ya know...join in on conversations without shaking like a leaf. But then they start competing with the students from their neighboring University and of course, Akutagawa, the one who is beauty incarnated just loves to fucking argue.”

THIS IS SO CUTE. it’s been a while since i’ve read it but from what i can remember the plot is rlly cute, and sskk’s dynamic is really sweet. the author is also the absolute sweetest person ever and i highly highly recommend leaving a comment or two bc they’re genuinely soso sweet and Will respond KDHAKSH (there IS one nsfw scene but again, very easy to skip and doesn’t affect the plot by any means)

5. thé art of precious scars by run_mello - skk

“Role reversal AU where Dazai is in the Port Mafia and Chuuya is in the Armed Detective Agency.

---

When a famous painting goes missing from the Mori Art Museum, the ADA jumps in to help investigate the case. So Dazai and Chuuya go on a mission together, solve the mystery together, fight enemies together... and somewhere along the line, they fall in love.”

holy ever loving FUCK THIS FIC IS AMAZING. i remember the first thought i had while reading it was “this authors read the irl authors books.” LIKE IT SHOWS SO MCUHF WJDKDH i think my favourite example of this was in i think the first or second chapter when dazai plays the synonym/antonym game from no longer human it’s genuinely really really sick. as well as that the author will occasionally sprinkle in quotes from books and poems and it’s just. very very very cool. the characterisation is phenomenal its so well written very highly recommend !!!

6. chuuya is red hot and dazai is so not by icedlightroast - skk

“Dazai couldn't wrap his brain around it. How could the student population think that Chuuya Nakahara was more attractive than him? And, alright, sure, maybe professors shouldn't get caught up in petty drama. But to Dazai, this wasn't just drama. This was war. A war in which he was not going to lose.”

this made me giggle an abnormal amount. KDHAJS this fic had me kicking my feet back and forth and twirling my hair oml it’s soso cute VERY short but very very cute

BAR LIKE 30 FICS THATS MY REC LIST FJSKS !! hope u enjoyed and have fun on ur trip !!!! :D

[natasha-in-space]

oh, do you like horror movies too? if so please recommend 🤲

Oh anon... You have no idea what you just started. Haha, but, in all honesty, I'm a huge horror nerd! I just mention it very occasionally and reblog some stuff here and there, but nothing extreme, as this is a mainly SFW blog. That said, I am more than giddy to babble about anything and everything! Horror movies especially! I'm gonna try and recommend some not so mainstream films that come to my mind right now.

If we're talking the more recent films, I'd say last year's 'When Evil Lurks' is a wonderful chilling movie to check out if you haven't yet. I'd say it's one of my favorite ones of 2023, actually! Now, it is pretty brutal and grisly when it comes to violence shown on screen. Nothing too extreme for your standart horror film that is not just a sensitized Hollywood flick, but I do feel the need to mention it. If you like possession, grim endings and questionable characters, this one's for you. I'd say it's a story of two brothers desperately fighting a losing battle.

If you like horror mockumentaries (fake documentary) type of flicks, I really enjoyed 'Butterfly Kisses'! If you loved the infamous Blair Witch films, you'll definitely appreciate this one. Not so much a gruesome horror film, but more of a psychological thriller for you to dissect, but I love it for that. If themes of obsession and artistic desperation are something that you can relate to, you might wanna considering checking it out. Nothing totally unique or mind blowing, but I still very enjoyed it.

If you can stomach grotesque and very gross imagery, I'd recommend you to check out 'Mad God'. Animated horror movies are rare, but, God, do I appreciate them when they do happen. It's clear that a lot of passion went into this one, and I can't help but admire all the creativity and hard work that went into it. It has very little dialogue, and most of its storytelling is an environmental one, but that's another thing I appreciate about it. I should note that it's an experimental piece of art, so it is not rich on some grand morale or story. It is, first and foremost, an intense and confusing journey to sit through.

And I am a huge sucker for Ari Aster's movies, so Hereditary, Midsommar and Beau is Afraid are definitely something I'd recommend to see if you haven't yet. The balance of visual, sound design and story is one I am always blown away with. I know some folks don't really enjoy his work, and that's okay. But I love movies you can revisit after your first watch and see them in a completely different light. That's not mentioning all the care he and his team put into the tiniest of details to his works. I have Hereditary and Midsommar soundtrack saved up for a reason, hehe.

Oh! I also have a major soft spot for 'Perfect Blue'. I feel like it's a pretty well-known film, but, if you haven't seen it yet, please do! It's another animated one, and it is mostly a psychological horror for you to experience. Perfect for you if you don't want to deal with the more gross and violent sides of horror genre that are, undeniably, pretty prominent. It does deal with themes of sexual violence, though. Please stay safe and consume your media wisely!

[paintedbutton]

2023

As 2023 is steadily ticking ever closer to being over, I'm sitting here and thinking about the past year. I think I've finally realized that - despite feeling horrible at times - it was kind of a good year for me, both in terms of writing and personal stuff. And it goes beyond the "Hey, you wrote a book!" thing.

Writing

That's a big one for me. 2023 marks the first year in a long while that I've shared my writing with people. Joining writeblr felt like a very good decision, even though I'm so far not as active a I want to be.

I wrote a whole entire book's worth of words in 2023, and I'm very proud of it. "Worthy of a King" was truly a project of my heart (still is, obviously) and a major turning point creatively. Writing hasn't felt this easy in years. Between the completed draft 1 and the almost 40k of draft 2 I have already written, I have written somewhere around 120k words in 2023, not counting supplementary and backstory material. That would have felt insurmountable just a year ago. I am so, so proud of that!

I'm looking forward to 2024. I want to share "Worthy of a King" with you all. I want you to be able to read it and get to know my boys and hopefully fall in love with them as much as I have. That's the main goal for me next year. Beyond that, I also want to share more of my WIP stuff with you beyond snippets in tag games. Maybe introduce the world, the characters to you, etc. I'm not quite sure how yet, but I'm looking forward to trying.

Beyond that, I'm not sure what my next writing project will be beyond WoaK. I thought I was sure, but if I am being honest, the iron grip Project Runaways has on my soul is likely never to ease until I just sit down and figure the damn thing out. We'll see.

Personal

Feel free to skip this part if you're not interested. I've stopped sharing a lot of my life online a while ago. I think that's a good thing, but sometimes I question whether that's just me building up walls around myself.

2023 was a year where bad things happened. My dad had a really bad accident in spring, and it's the kind were you just occasionally have to sit and breathe and thank all the lucky stars because he could have died. He could have been permanently disabled. Instead, he goes to concerts and festivals with me. He jumps into mosh pits. He stopped smoking. I am so eternally grateful for all of those things. His injury put a damper on a lot of things - mainly house renovation stuff. One day, I will finally be able to live in the house that is already home to me, but until then, waiting has been hard. Very hard. But it's okay. I'm lucky. We're lucky. I have to keep reminding myself.

Work has been a constant source of stress for me, which sents me down mental spirals I really don't like. Part of it is external factors, but I can admit it's also that I don't know how not to care. How not to involve myself in everything. That's something I've started working on, and want to continue working on in 2024, because this is actually actively detrimental to my mental health and I want it to stop.

But when 2023 was good, it was SO good! All the concerts I went to! The medieval markets, the festivals, the just fun outings. It was such a good year! I went to Norway for the first time! I want to do more of all that in 2024. It makes me feel like myself, I think that's important.

I'm gonna spend New Year's quiet at home, the way I enjoy it most. I don't really like New Years Eve, but I do enjoy spending time by myself. I think I'm gonna finish preparing my photo album of the year. I think I'm gonna dedicate January first to writing. In the spirit of the year I want to have. Let's hope it's a good one.

[jupiter-lemaris]

Touch Starving

I never post here, but I have been lurking at the whump community for a while and decided invite myself to this party. English isn’t my first language, so I suppose the narrative may sound a bit inorganic. Despite, I hope you enjoy the text and I’m all ears to suggestions or corrections, if you have any.

Work lenght: 1,489 (a bit long for my first attempt, but I don’t know how to start by the easier things, sorry)

The scenery is mainly a spaceship’s cell.

TW: Imprisonment, non-consensual drug use, torture for information, syringes, touch starvation and manhandling. Also, the whumpee is female and the whumper is male, in case it’s upsetting for someone.

Naymeene couldn’t fully understand the captain of Armígera.

The terrifier bellic spaceship of Logmery was more something out of a legend than a real warning for most of the people in the Superregion, but Naymeene knew two things: the ship was damn real, and it usually didn’t take prisoners or spare survivors. The only reason why she was still alive was because the captain wanted an information from her. It took her all the effort and pride she had only to keep those words from him.

But he wanted to hear something, and if she wasn’t willing to speak, he would make her scream.

Almost every day.

She had no way of tracking the time, being imprisoned in a cell with no windows to the outer world, so she used to think in his “visits” like a daily appointment. If someone have told her that two years passed outside, Naymeene wouldn’t believe. It seemed so much more. But time hadn’t make Logmery easier to understand. At the first day, he broke her leg in front of her crew. Naymeene hated the fear in their desperated screams, forced to watch her being tortured, but she could understand that. There was no inocent soul in the Starpath Army, a captain like her surely know more than a thing or two about coercion and interrogation. In that moment, she was glad for not telling any of her crew what Logmery wanted to know.

Sometimes loyalty isn’t trustworthy. Someone would’ve say it already, trying in vain to keep her safe.

Then Logmery took her away, left her alone. He would come with the syringes and venoms, somehow fascinated by the prospect of testing his substances. He was a chemister with few opportunities to see his creations in work.

But not everything he did was intended to be painful. And that she couldn’t understand.

She had already bargained by her crew’s libertation. Logmery still was a sick sadistic bastard, but, sometimes, all he wanted to do was talking to her. They used to talk a lot in the beginning. They played games. That’s something they had in common, two players with risky bets to each other. One truth for another, he would say when he was willing to answer Naymeene’s questions as a payment for her answering his as well. But those games were in the past since she had won her crew’s liberty. Now he just stayed there, sitting in her cell, kind of bored. Looking at her with his light, always cold eyes, even when his faint smile seemed sincere.

(When had she seen a sincere smile from him?)

She looked at him with an ill-contained distrust, waiting for something.

(There was always something, wasn’t there?)

But nothing never happened. He talked irrelevances. Naymeene wouldn’t say a thing or would just yell spitefull swearings. It was infuriating how he could stay there, just talking, as if they were friends. Was it some weird manipulation technique? Being unable to presume if his visits were just for a calm talk or for a torture session still would be the death of her. The antecipation, the fear…

She still didn’t answer anything besides of occasional life threats.

(A hundred times she swore to bury a knife in his neck.)

But, even against her own will, she was getting used to Logmery’s proximity.

Fear can be tiring, and she lacked the strenght to feed the constant distrust and hate from before. Instead of attentiveness, she could only rest and wait. She wasn’t even listening to his words, but learned to accept this moments as something good, or at least better then the alternatives.

One day he surprised her, injecting an incolor liquid in her veins.

“Done. It’s the only thing for today. I needed to test this sedative.”

Most of his inventions turned her body in her own enemy, making it vulnerable and weak. He wouldn’t let her sleep when she wanted, and when she didn’t, he wouldn’t let her wake up. But hardly ever he would indulge her with something to diminish pain. Her body was light as a feather now, the white cell seemed endless and Logmery’s voice was a distant echo. Naymeene felt his touch and couldn’t force herself to back off.

“Come here”,  he said, pulling her closer because even if she wanted, she could not obey. “I won’t hurt you today. I promise, Naymee.”

Naymee. Only one person called her that way, she always wondered why he imitated her. She always worried about what had happened with her. Had Logmery ripped it out from her lips with the same brutality dedicated to Naymeene’s interrogation? The mere thought was enough to send silent tears down her face, too exausted to hold them.

She would never leave that place, would she? Sometimes Naymeene almost forgot the reason why she was there.

Logmery passed her cuffled wrists upon his head, as if it were an embrace, and kept her closer with an arm behind her back. Naymeene couldn’t get away and wasn’t even sure if she wanted. There was a man she hated and despised, but the exaustion was such that she couldn’t think about escaping that cynic, disgusting hug. So she rested against his chest, the weight of the sedative threating shut her eyes.

“A truth for another?” Naymeene suggested, when those strange days became frequent. Her voice low and distant, but with her face almost buried in his shoulder, he was able to listen.

“What do you want to know?”

“Is this a scheme of yours?” It didn’t make sense. She wouldn’t start trusting on him just because in 2 years of imprisonment he spent 10 days at her side.

“Yes”, he said. “I’ll give this answer for free. I don’t have a yes or no question to you for now.”

As always, she was too debilitated to voice her anger. Later she could even feel a little betrayed, then she would repreend herself for this incoherent, stupid feeling.

“It’s not gonna work.”

“Shhh... Too early to know.” His voice was tranquilizing, or that’s how she heard it. It was an unusually dificult day. He caressed her hair. “You look tired, Naymee. You should sleep. It’s safe, I promisse.”

She hated waking up the other day (maybe?) and notice that she really had slept embracing the bastard. His eyes were shut, but he certainly wasn’t sleeping. Naymeene looked to her cuffles temptinly near his neck... Then a hand touched hers and he smiled. “Don’t try anything stupid.”

Naymeene hated him. But somehow learned that his presence was a steady event.

She wasn’t used to waking up in a furnished room, no cuffles and no Logmery nearby. The first moments were startling.

(Were was she?!)

The disorienting place made her heart race.

(Something is wrong. Something is wrong.)

“Naymee?” Irsa’s voice had nothing but pure worry, so why did it crawl over her skin with the intensity of electricity? (Someone called her like that, some sick bastard.) Irsa held her shoulders, trying to draw her attention. “Did you have a nightmare?”

(Was it still a nightmare if the scenes once were real?)

Slowly, Naymeene let go Irsa’s wrist, that she grabbed in a defensive reflex. Her hands were still trembling. Her back hurt, she didn’t lie in the bed because of her refuse to sleep. The weariness had won once again. Despite wanting to apologize for scaring Irsa, the only thing she could do was covering the eyes while her heart tried to normalize its rhythm.

Irsa sit by her side. (Too close... Too close...) The last thing Naymeene wanted. Irsa knew about the tortures. She was there in the first day, when Logmery broke Naymeene’s leg. But she didn’t knew about the moments of calm. For some reason Naymeene couldn’t understand, she felt ashamed. Even if she was drugged at those times, talking about it would be admitting a vulnerability she despised. She didn’t want Irsa (specially Irsa) to know she had been so weak to the point of taking comfort in the proximity of a maniac like Logmery.

Irsa asked naught. She just held Naymeene’s hand, but her voice betrayed the uneaseness when she said:

“You’re not there anymore, Naymee.”

“I think I’ll never get out of there…”

“Do you want to talk?”

“No, please... I’m ok, i’m just... tired…”

Irsa hadn’t left her alone since they were reunited. They didn’t know each other for too long (actually, it was for long. She missed years while imprisoned.), but she was grateful for the loyal company. Naymeene would go insane with each small noise if left alone in a room. (Not yet... Still too soon.)

As always, Irsa made her lie in the bed and stayed by her side. The lights turned off. Naymeene almost could relax. Then Irsa said omething that made her tense once again.

“You can sleep now, Naymee. You’re safe, I promise.”

That night, Naymeene stayed awake.

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖      

Chapter 45 - Lost in thought. Episode 1.

Evan: I looked at Congo next to me in bed, we had just finished a movie. My legs were tangled in his, and beside the general feeling of flu in my body, I could honestly say this was the happiest and most relaxed I had felt in a long time. The first week after the happy news of the mate bond everything had run smoothly. Andy and I had been closer than ever. My mood had been a lot better, and at times the depression even seemed to be none existing. I felt a new calm in my body. I felt Andy somehow. We had enjoyed trips to the sea, trips around the general area, exploring, making love under the stars on the roof of Andy's car. It was like I had gotten my life back. The days of being a zombie chained to my bed seemed over. And then BOOM! One day, a few days back, I had suddenly felt weak and flu like. Like a balloon someone let 90% of the air out of. Flat and good for nothing. Drained and limp in my whole body. I had stayed in bed alone most of the day as Andy had to do some things in the town. Late afternoon Congo had come home from work, found me in bed freezing and generally feeling sorry for myself. So he had cooked me possible the best soup I have ever gotten. Made sure to feed me as I was too weak to even lift the spoon. Made me a bath. Even washed me. And after that curled up in bed with me. Holding me tight. Soothing me. Showering me with tiny kisses. It was probably the best care anyone had ever shown me, and I have been cared for a lot. But of course, Congo had turned sick the next day. As we were both feeling lousy, Andy had called for Akin to maybe do some of his "medicine man" voodoo on us, and to our surprise, Akin quickly discovered it was not a flu, but rather a small side effect from simply being overwhelmed by the mating bonds. However we did seem to be contagious, so until Akin and his clan could discover more about our state, we were instructed to have as little human contact as possible. That included Andy. To both our disappointment. And to his as well. So the past 3-4 days neither Congo nor I had kissed Andy. No real body contact either except from occasional hand holding or a stroke on the cheek, since keeping completely away from a man you're that much in love with, is impossible! But no cuddling, no kissing. It was really hard. After just one day, I had found myself getting more and more tangled in Congo. We were cuddling, kissing, and one one occasion we had gotten so caught up in making out that I had to leave the room, cause I was fearing I wouldn't be able to control myself. The past two days I found myself liking the feeling of kissing Congo more and more. I often found myself getting lost in his eyes, or swimming away in his embrace. I felt safe, protected. I felt less shy to let go of my boundaries around him, but still every time someone else entered the room, mainly being Daniel, Andy, George or Akin, I would still blush and hide under the blanket, pretending to not be there till they would go away, or simply ask them to leave. Well not Andy, but the rest of them. We were upstairs for early dinner today, Lenny and Katherine came to visit, and decided to cook a fantastic meal for the whole house, and Akin had agreed since we were both doing a lot better it was okay for us to join in. We should just still try to limit body contact with others, and completely avoid kissing. The dinner was great, the food was about some of the most tasty I have ever gotten, and I live with two very good cooks. Plus I do know my way around a kitchen too. But MAN Lenny and Kathrine can cook! After dinner we had gotten a bit of Irish Coffee with them all, and as I felt the alcohol start getting to my head, Congo had helped me to bed. Much to Daniels amusement when Congo had lifted me to bed, princess style. And here, one movie later, a lot of cuddling and a couple of kisses later, we were laying, side by side, wrapped in each other, gazing deep into each others eyes.

Congo: He smiled warmly, speaking in an almost whisper Are you okay?

Evan: Yeah I smiled warmly and spoke softly

Congo: What are you thinking about? He gently brushed a strand of hair away from my forehead and smiled even warmer

Evan: Mmmh… I felt myself blush lightly

Congo: Yeah… me too… he lowered his face towards me, and our lips quickly found each other again. I had come to really love his kisses, even enjoying his beard scruff against my skin. I ran my fingers through it as I cupped his cheeks with the palms of my hands. He wrapped his arms around me, dragging me closer, kissing me deep and longing, but in a sweet romantic way. Not in a sexual way. He moaned softly as music suddenly became a bit loud upstairs, and chuckled softly as he pulled away Sorry… but that music is a little too cheerful for me right now… impossible to relax to.

Evan: I nodded softly and felt myself blush again Yeah…

Congo: He tilted his head and smiled softly would it be okay, if I were to put some music on, so we had our own to enjoy? It won't be loud… just some nice relaxing tunes.

Evan: I nodded my head softly and smiled That would be nice.

Congo: Great he smiled warmly and slowly got out of bed, quickly finding his way to the stereo, and after fumbling around a few minutes, he turned around and smiled I think I managed to find some between Andy's music I can actually say I can relax to. He made his way back to bed, and just as he laid back down, the music started

Evan: I didn't really pay much attention to the music, until a certain song started: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMXXAkJUv4s At first it made my eyebrows frown a bit, but I kept kissing him, trying to ignore the lyrics, but then, they really caught me, and all of a sudden, it all seemed way too real for me.

Congo: He must have felt the hesitation in my kisses, cause suddenly he pulled back and looked at me a bit questioning Are you okay?

Evan: Yeah… I uh… I quickly got out of bed, stumbling a bit over my own feet I just need… I pointed towards the garden door I just need a bit of fresh air. I quickly grabbed my cigs on the table and shook the pack in front of me I'll come in again soon.

Congo: Okay he nodded softly You want company?

Evan: I smiled a bit awkward Nah, I just need 5-10 minutes to clear my head I stumbled over my feet again on the way to the door, chuckling awkwardly

Congo: Are you sure you're okay?

Evan: I nodded eagerly and quickly slipped out of the door, bumping my back against it as I closed it behind me, trying to drown out the all too fitting lyrics from the song behind me. I quickly lit a cig, dragging it deep, watching the cloud of smoke as I sent it floating towards the stars. What was this now? I rubbed my stomach a bit as it felt unease and walked a few meters out on the grass. This did not make any sense to me, and yet it made perfect sense. I walked a bit more into the garden, still being able to hear the music vague, just wanting to escape it. Thoughts of Congo swirling around my mind. How he was washing my back so gently, making me feel cared for and loved. How he's always there for everyone, this warm hearted man, always taking so good care of everyone. Even now when he himself is sick, he's there, comforting me, making sure I'm alright. The way he always puts everyone first. Other peoples feelings before his own. How he always saved Andy, time after time, dragging his lifeless body to the hospital. The soft smell of wood that always lingered in his hair or on his body. His extra body heat. The way I suddenly found myself enjoying digging my fingers into his chest and chest hairs. The way he made me feel like nothing could possibly harm me when he wraps his arms around me. His warm, soft lips caressing mine. The way he would always smile and wish me good morning. How he would always drop by the tv room a few times per day, to casually check if I needed anything. Making sure I knew I was never alone or forgotten. How he has made it a habit to hold my hand till I fall asleep, and not just the past few days while we have been living alone in the tv room. But also a bit before that. While we were sharing bed with Andy. How he sometimes seems to read my mind, knowing exactly what I need or want, without me saying anything. He always makes sure he never goes over the line. Always so considerate, caring. I looked up as suddenly blinding car lights hit my eyes, and I grunted from the way the sharp light left a stinging feeling in my eyes

Congo: Evan! God! he ran up to me, planting his hands on my shoulders, squeezing them tight I have been looking for you for 15 minutes! I was so worried!

Evan: What? I looked at him confused

Congo: Why did you leave? I was so worried when you weren't in the garden! I thought you went next door, but when you werent there either…

Evan: Le-left? I spun quickly around myself, noticing I was standing on a to my own luck empty night street in the middle of our little city, only dressed in boxers

Congo: He looked at me concerned Why did you walk all this way with no clothes on?

Evan: I looked at him even more confused and looked around us a bit more, suddenly feeling very cold

Congo: What happened?

Evan: I… I don't know? I felt a panic attack roll over me, and suddenly, before I could get to react, the tears streamed out my eyes

Congo: He quickly wrapped his arms tight around me, lifting me up Let's get you into the warm car! You're cold as ice! He quickly carried me into the car, turning the heat on, quickly wrapping a blanket around me, but never let go of me, keeping one arm around my shoulders, dragging me close to him As you already know, I work as a radiator, so it's better you lean against me, even if it will be harder to drive. I'll just drive slowly to keep us safe, alright? He planted a soft kiss on my hair Now, please, tell me, what made you walk all this way, almost naked, in the middle of the night?

Evan: I sniffled my nose and chuckled softly as I dried my eyes with the back of my hands. I honestly don't know.

Congo: He frowned softly Is that supposed to make me feel any better?

Evan: I shook my head softly I was walking around the garden, lost in my own thoughts I guess. Next thing I know, I get blinded by your truck…. I honestly don't know? I guess I was so caught up in my thoughts that I just didn't realize how much walking I actually did? I sighed deeply as my teeth started clapping

Congo: I don't like the sound of this at all…. especially those teeth of yours…. let's get you home and get some hot water over you… hm?

Evan: Yeah I nodded softly and leaned my head against his shoulder, wrapping the blanket tighter around myself.