#i do like a lot how its completely unsaid by the rest of the party though -- they know. it is going to happen whether

[mxdotpng]

its actually something i think about often which is sad. nobody sees this vision more than i do. or at all actually

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (One)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack

Word Count: 10.2k (yikes, I know) (I will try to shorten future chapters, ya girl is sorry)

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, puking, reader is a drunk cry baby, reader is kinda embarrassing, jk is kinda jelaous, mentions of sleeping around, reader and jk are pretty affectionate, jk’s thighs are mentioned—that’s like, a warning in itself right?

Notes: hiiiii, the first part is here! Once again, really nervous about this so please go easy on me but mostly, just enjoy! :) also sorry for any typos!!!!

© taestefully-in-luv

Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun is a magical thing. It lights up and warms the Earth, it enhances your mood, it helps plants grow, it literally provides for life. Without the sun, life on Earth would cease to exist. What the sun also does? The sun also shines down on us and lights up the most beautiful things. The sun today, however, is especially highlighting the most beautiful thing. The way the glittering rays gleam through the windows you can see how todays sun focuses on him.

That’s right, you guessed it. Kim Taehyung. His skin is absolutely glowing in the rays, his eyes sparkle in the light that shines down. Yes, Kim Taehyung is an other-worldly being. The way he just stands there and shimmers you can’t help but stare but also like, shy away because his beauty is so god damn blinding. Wait…was this dramatic? This might be dramatic. You’re too far gone to care though. His boxy grin, the way his hair falls into his eyes, the mole on his—

“I just want you to know, you are fucking drooling.” You hear the scoff of the man across from you, Jeon Jungkook, also known as your best friend.

You lazily shake your head as the two of you sit nice and snug in the booths of your favorite coffee shop. It’s one of the colder spring days, the breeze biting at your skin when you were outside but now, you have Jungkook’s scarf wrapped loosely around your neck and hot coffee in your hands.

“I mean, I get it. He’s gorgeous but do you really have to go this far?”

You bring the white mug full of black coffee to your lips. It’s hot and burns the tip of your tongue, but not anything you’re not use to.

“Yes.” You state plainly. You know exactly to what he is referring to. You don’t usually come here at this time, in fact you are usually a creature of habit and come at the same time on the same days… Tuesday and Thursdays in the evening but its Friday and like 1pm. But you knew Kim Taehyung was going to be here when he snapped a picture of the famous white mug with the shops logo on it and posted on his story. You bring your hand up to your forehead, saluting to the sky, “Thank you Snapchat.” So yes, naturally when you saw he was at this coffee shop you hurried to make sure you were too. Maybe it is fucking desperate. Okay it is. But could you blame a girl? He was one of the hottest guys you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.

“This is ridiculous,” Jungkook huffs into his own mug, “You could just talk to him…”

Now it was your turn to scoff.

“As fucking if!”

Jungkook smirks into his mug, taking a sip of the burning hot coffee. “That incapable, hmm?”

“It’s not that I’m incapable JK,” You blow on the drink nonchalantly, “I am simply just not worthy.”

“You are so stupid, I swear.” He huffs into his mug again.

“What do you mean?”

Jungkook breathes out slowly, biting his lip as if contemplating what to say.

It’s like, what can he say? He wishes he could tell you a million things that would ease your mind, that could possibly give you the confidence you need or maybe just slap the reality on you that Taehyung doesn’t deserve you. But then he will get asked ‘why’ and he can’t have that.

“What?” you whine into your cup before setting it down.

“You’re really cool and also pretty?” he says quirking a brow in question. Because apparently that’s all he can come up with.

“That’s a question? Also am I dying? You’re complimenting me?” you tease, giving him an exaggerated look of satisfaction.

“I just mean…” Jungkook runs a hand through his messy dark locks, “You have nothing to worry about, ya know?”

Nothing to worry about he says! What does he know? He can literally get any girl—or guy for that matter—that he wants. You dip your head, frowning at the idea.

Jungkook has been your best friend since your freshmen year and there’s nothing you treasure more than his friendship. You bite your lips and tilt your head trying to recall his first presence in your life…oh! That stupid frat party freshmen year…you met at a frat party during your first semester and totally hit it off. Did he try to get into your pants? Okay, yeah maybe. He offered a room just up the stairs that night, but you refused…seemingly too shy. But Jungkook was nothing but understanding. He pat your back and said he knew a better place, and that was the 24 diner down the street. And the rest is history

“Obviously I don’t know and oh my god don’t look but—” You try saying before Jungkook is completely turning his head around to look. Classic Jungkook.

“Oh hey Tae.” Jungkook says in The Kim Taehyungs direction. Taehyung walks up to your table, you thought the sun only highlighted his beauty but up close he is the sun. You knew it was a magical thing.

“Hey guys! “ Taehyung stands there as bright as a fucking light, waving at you and your best friend. Oh yeah, did we forget to mention Jungkook is also friends with said Kim Taehyung? Okay, so maybe talking to Taehyung shouldn’t be that hard, since you share the same fucking friends. And you guys are technically friends too.

“Sup dude.” Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly, picking up his coffee mug once again. His long fingers wrapping around the porcelain, warming him up. You watch as Jungkook takes a sip of his beverage with his doe eyes on you, he nods his head towards Taehyung and winks at you as he gulps down the drink. Of course, he’s teasing you.

“Hey y/n!” Taehyungs smile shines so brightly you want to actually kill yourself. What is up with this dude and being so blinding?

“Hey Taehyung…” you gulp your coffee awkwardly, giving him a small wave of the hand.

“y/n I told you to call me Tae!”

“Right…” you chuckle into the coffee creating bubbles of the liquid like the fucking pathetic lil thang you are.

Yeah, talking to The Kim Taehyung is not your specialty. Never was.

2 years ago

Your head is buried in books on the table of your campuses library with Jungkook fast asleep next to you. Statistics shouldn’t be this hard but it fucking is and you are groaning into your book, on the verge of pulling your hair out when a deep voice that rumbles your insides interrupts you—actually fuck it, you don’t feel like getting into a flashback. Just know that you met Taehyung (officially through Jungkook) and he ended up calling you pretty and you’ve thought about it every day since. Because you are pathetic. What’s new?

And that was it, that’s all it took for you to gain a massive crush on the boy.

“What’s up dude?” Jungkook asks again. He is now scrolling through his phone, probably swiping through Tinder, if you have to guess. And you’re right because he’s turning his phone towards you showing you some random girl, his wide eyes asking for your opinion. You roll your eyes and nod your head ‘yes’. As you can guess, this happens quite often.

“Ummm…” Taehyung runs a frustrated hand through his hair, you slowly tilt your head to soak him in when you notice he looks almost…panicked? “I need help with something actually,” but he isn’t looking at Jungkook as he says this, no. He’s looking at you.

“You see that girl at the counter over there? The one with long hair, not the other one.” He nods his head in the general direction while still remaining discreet.

You tilt your head to steal a glance at the counter and yes you do see the girl he is referring to. She’s got long brown hair that reaches her waist and man, she is gorgeous. Big, bright eyes. Full, pouting lips. Long legs and yeah, the works. Taehyung sure knows how to pick them. Did he need help to get her number of something? Like a wing woman? You mean, does he really need the help?

“Yes, I see her.” Is all you say to him and you expect him to ask you to go over there but instead he says,

“Great. I need you to be my girlfriend.”

You blink lazily at him as you process his words while Jungkook chokes on his drink.

“You want her to be your what?” Jungkook is the first to speak.

“My girlfriend.” He says again before his eyes go wide, “Like, like my fake girlfriend.” Taehyung turns a wonderful shade of red before his hand is reaching to scratch the back of his neck, chuckling to himself. “This girl—Anna…she is a bit obsessed? Ya know? Won’t leave me alone type thing and …and I have tried saying I have a girlfriend but she followed me to this coffee shop when she heard I was here. Like, who does that?”

Now it’s your turn to turn red, because you. You would fucking do that.

“That’s horrible Taehy—” you begin to say before Taehyungs large eyes pierce into your own, “Please y/n.”

“Anna???” Jungkook cuts in setting his phone on the table. “Like Anna Anna?” Jungkook squints his eyes at his friend before scoffing. “...She’s not doing it.” his eyes go between Taehyung and this girl Anna. “Don’t involve her in whatever game you—"

“I’ll do it.” You say, even surprising yourself. “I mean, it’s just pretend and for this moment so why not?” you begin to explain yourself. Plus for a few minutes you can pretend you’re really his girlfriend and your delusional mind will thrive off that.

Tae is quick to straighten his back and smile widely before he is ushering you to scoot over in the booth to let him in. “Scoot scoot” he whispers, grinning from ear to ear.

“Tae, you can’t be serious—” Jungkook is quick to say something, anything. His hands scrambling to grab his phone and hands it to Taehyung from across the table. “Here. Call up some other girl to do this. Don’t involve y/n.” Taehyung gives Jungkook a look of panic before Jungkook speaks up again, “Plus, y/n would be the worst fake girlfriend,” And that’s it. That’s all it takes. Jungkook’s constant negativity pisses you off so much that it drives what you say next.

“No need Taehyung.” You snatch Jungkook’s phone and shove it back in his hands. “Why don’t you call up one of your girls yourself and leave us alone?”

Jungkook looks at you shocked, his brows furrowing so deeply you are almost concerned for his face and the wrinkles that might set in.

“y/n…?” his stupid doe eyes look at you with so much confusion.

“I just mean, I can do this Jungkook. Don’t have to be so concerned.”

At that, Taehyung lights up.

“Great!” and his long arm wraps around your waist and when he was sure Anna is looking he leans in to plant a soft kiss to your cheek. “Thanks for doing this…” he whispers in your ear before placing another kiss.

Your eyes meet Jungkook’s shocked ones. He looks like he just saw a ghost, all the color drained from his face as he watches you and Taehyung.

“Uh….” You don’t have any words for Taehyung—or Tae as he likes to be called.

You don’t even have the balls to glance his way, you don’t even have the balls to breathe in his direction.

“Look at me?” Taehyung’s finger is on your chin, guiding it towards his face.

“No…” Jungkook spurts out, “I mean, y/n don’t we have to go?” Jungkook looks at you with a look you’ve never really seen before. Maybe it’s desperation but you don’t really care.

“We don’t actually” you respond nonchalantly.

And with that you turn to face Taehyung more properly. His face is so close to yours it’s almost suffocating.

“What is it…Tae?” you try out his nickname for the first time. His cheeks flush and he scoots back just an inch.

“Thank you for doing this but…” his eyes slide to the side, eyeing Jungkook. “I was thinking we could do this for a couple of weeks, at the least. Ya know, to make it believable.”

Surprising you and Taehyung, Jungkook rises from his seat at the booth,

“y/n let’s go.” He simply states, not even looking at you. Taehyung looks panicked as you look between the boys.

“Tae…” you started to say before Jungkook reaches over the table to grab your wrist, “Come oooooooonnnnn” But you are quick to yank it back.

“Stop Jungkook, you’re being childish.”

Taehyung tightens his hold on you, “Yeah Kookie, sit back down…please.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes at Taehyung, giving him a look that screams ‘are you serious?!’

“Childish? Okay.” He gives you a look of disappointment before grabbing his phone and his bag and walking away from the table. You watch in disbelief as Jungkook’s figure disappears from your view. What was up with him?

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s going on with him…”

“Right…” Tae responds quietly, his grip on your waist loosening up. “He’s just really protective over you, huh?” Taehyung bites his lip in contemplation, “y/n. I’m serious, let’s do this. I’ll pay for your coffee for the next month if you do this with me. Please, I am quite literally begging you.” He breathes out through his nose in an attempt to laugh. “She won’t leave me alone otherwise.”

You bite your lip in deep thought, your brows pulled together. Taehyung couldn’t help but find you cute.

“For a month? What happened to a few weeks?” you ask, a playful smirk gracing your features.

Taehyung couldn’t help the grin that made its way on his face.

“1 month.” He breathes out. “Unless you fall in love with me during that time and beg for more time….” He pokes his tongue out, his teasing tone going straight to your lady bits. If only he knew.

“Fine, but we should set some ground rules…don’t you think?”

“Okay. Like what?”

“Oh…I don’t—”

Taehyung raises a brow, “Don’t say something stupid like ‘no kissing’…because we want to make it as realistic as possible, don’t we?” he leans in just a bit more. Without Jungkook around Taehyung seems a bit more confident.

“Oh, you want to kiss me then?”

“It’s just for show. We don’t gotta think too hard about it.” His face inches closer and closer.

“Love…” you say, in a complete daze. Too lost in Taehyungs big brown eyes.

“What about it?” he doesn’t blink, just continues to stare into your eyes.

“We…would if one of us catches feelings? Then we should stop it, right?” You choke out.

Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut as an impossibly cute giggle escapes his lips, “You’re so cute. How many romcoms have you watched to come up with that line?”

“I’m serious.” You push your head back, “This could become hurtful if one of us falls in love…” You say this knowing it’s you. Well, obviously. Just because Taehyung called you pretty 2 years ago doesn’t mean he likes you.

“Okay, sweetheart.” Taehyung gets close again, “I’ll tell you.” And then he leans in, just an inch from your face. His lips hovering over your own and you can see his eyes still on you, like he’s silently asking for permission. You can’t help the nod of your head and you, yourself don’t stop yourself from leaning in.

Taehyungs lips are just as soft as you had always imagined. His lips only peck yours, the kiss is short but sweet. Once he pulls back you see his eyes slide to the counter where that Anna girl stands, and a look of relief washes over his features.

“Thank God, she bought it. She looks pissed,” he laughs loudly, “She saw us and is totally storming out!”

Oh, right. This is all for show.

“Oh, good.”

“Thanks y/n!” Taehyung’s smile is so wide it takes up the entire booth. He goes in for a quick hug, pulling back he smiles again before reaching his hand to pat your head.

“You’re a good girl.” He says and slips out of the booth. Welp, you wish those words didn’t go straight to your vagina.

“Uh, thanks.” You sputter out, not entirely sure what just happened.

“See you later?” he asks then his face lights up, “I’ll bring you a coffee.”

“Well, that is the deal.” You shoot him some pathetic finger guns.

You stare down at your now cold coffee, and look across from you at the now empty booth where Jungkook once sat.

“I’ll text you with more details later!” he shakes his phone in his hand,

“Bye bye…girlfriend.” He finishes off with a wink and skips, yes fucking skips away.

You are left alone at your table, with an empty seat across from you and a cold coffee. And now a fake boyfriend with the guy you have a massive crush on. This couldn’t possibly go all wrong, could it?

~~~

“This is definitely going to go all wrong, you realize that, right? This is a bad idea y/n and you know it.”

Jungkook’s legs are swung over your own as he lays on the couch, his focus on his phone in his hands. He wears his gray puma sweat suit you love so much and smells exactly the same as always—clean laundry and his own musk. You can’t help but eye him over, his dark strands of hair falling into his eyes as he bobbles his head to rid himself of the stray pieces. You aren’t blind, Jungkook is like, crazy hot and sometimes your staring can become a problem.

“Like, ‘we can’t fall in love with each other’” he mocks, “What sort of bullshit? You already in love, aren’t you?” he peeks over his phone to get a look at you waiting for some sort of rejection of his words.

“It’s just a crush, Jungkook.”

“Sure.” His eyes go back to his screen. “You’re pretty dumb for doing this.”

“Did I mention we kissed?”

“Only 100 times now you sicko.” Jungkook rolls his eyes and you can’t help but giggle.

It’s no secret that Jungkook is against this—whatever this is. He always has been…ever since you mentioned it 2 years ago sophomore year.

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?!” you ask in disbelief.

You just confessed your little crush on Taehyung to Jungkook, the two of you sitting across from one another in the library when he rolls his eyes, obviously annoyed.

“Can you not yell? We’re literally in a library. And I don’t feel like getting kicked out this week…again.” He rolls his pen between his fingers as he speaks.

“Okay one: that’s your own fault for getting caught with your hand down some girls pants. And Two: what do you mean ‘no’?”

“Taehyung is off limits for you.” He says, totally unbothered.

“What the hell does that even mean?”

“It means, he’s my friend for one so gross, and also he’s kind of like…emotionally unavailable.”

You chew on your pen, wondering what that could mean. Like, he doesn’t date? He doesn’t ‘do’ relationships? He’s already in love with someone else?

“I’m not telling you.” Jungkook’s pen slides against his paper as he writes, “His life.”

Oh, you asked that out loud.

“Whatever Jungkook, it’s just a crush.”

It feels nice to have a crush on someone other than…

Ding

Your phone goes off and you hurry to check it. What? It could be Taehyung wanting to go over the details of the ‘plan’. But much to your disappointment it was just Jimin.

Jimin 9:42pm

Where are you guys? Party has BEEN started girl

Y/N 9:42pm

We’re about to leave babe, see you soonish

Jimin 9:43pm

You guys fuckin? *smirk face emoji*

Y/N 9:43pm

Did you just…write smirk face emoji instead of putting the emoji itself

Y/N 9:44pm

Also how many times do I have to tell you JK and I aren’t like that

Jimin 9:45pm

Whatevs, see you soon babe xoxo

You set your phone down in your lap, your fingers going to massage Jungkook’s calves as you sneak a glance at him, he closes his eyes in satisfaction as you continue massaging the muscle.

“We gotta get go—also, that’s now what you’re wearing right?”

“Not going tonight. But have fun.” Jungkook sets his phone on his chest, letting out a long breath while folding his arms behind his head. He looks comfortable like, you almost believe him that he’s really staying in.

“Yeah, okay.”

“I’m serious.”

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N why don’t we just stay in tonight?” He whines, he unfolds his arms and reaches for your hand. “Let’s go buy a 12 pack, get fucked up and just ya know, stay in.” Though this doesn’t sound like a bad idea, it also sounds like every Friday night with the two of you and you want to do something different tonight. But it would take some convincing. You interlock your fingers with his and he melts at your touch, his dopey smile growing.

“It’s a good idea, right?” he says, blinking up at you.

You smile back, tilting your head just the slightest before your smile drops altogether.

“No.”

“Ugh!” Jungkook throws his head back on the sofas armrest, “Why are you like this?”

“You still love me.” You chirp swinging his legs off yours and standing to your feet.

“Now get dressed and I promise that I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the weekend and you can bring whatever poor girl back to the apartment.”

Oh yes, your best friend is also your roommate. You’ve been living together for the last year—it just made the most sense. He was always over at yours or vise versa. So it made the most sense to save money and just room together. It worked out almost perfectly—almost. He paid his half of rent on time, he cleaned the dishes, he did laundry. Wait a minute, what the hell did you offer? That’s beside the point, the best of all he was always there when you needed him. The one downfall…the girls he brought over.

It got so bad that you couldn’t even sleep. You get it, your best friend is obviously…gifted. If the girls whines and moans and screams were any indication. So you had to set some rules for your sanity! For one, the other must always warn the other when bring home a person for the night. And two, its best if the other is already like, not home. Jungkook quickly agreed…something about how he doesn’t want to hear you either.

So, offering to be gone all weekend so he can have as much sex in his bed as he wants is probably going to be convincing enough.

You study Jungkook’s features, his brows pinched together almost comically, and his lips formed into the cutest pout.

“All weekend?” he asks, kicking imaginary rocks with his feet. “Like, no interruptions?”

“No interruptions you absolute whore.”

“Fine, deal.” He looks into your eyes and something flashes across them that you cant pinpoint. “I guess I’ll get dressed…but wait, where will you stay?”

“Probably with Jimin.” You shrug.

“Hm, okay.” Jungkook walks towards his room while lifting his sweatshirt over his head and throwing it behind him, the article of clothing landing on the floor. “And you’re doing laundry.”

“Brat.” You say rolling your eyes but you can’t help but smile.

You don’t take long to get ready yourself, you settle for a casual look tonight…okay, semi-casual, meaning you’re wearing jeans but you are wearing a nice, low cut blouse that shows a generous amount of cleavage. It’s your go to titty shirt. You aren’t really looking to get laid tonight or anything but you do want onlookers to wish you were.

You bounce your knee up and down while sitting on the sofa as you not so patiently wait on your bff, you call out for him but he only yells back that you need to like, chill out. After what feels like forever, the creak of his bedroom door opening can be heard and you quickly stand to your feet to face him.

“Woah.” Is all you manage to say as Jungkook walks out of his room, his cologne filling the air around you. “You look…” you can’t even finish your sentence without Jungkook’s stupid smirk already on his face. His pants are skin tight, the material practically melted on to his thick thighs that are deliciously exposed thanks to rips and holes. His plain white tee is accompanied by a fine leather jacket and his hair is split down the middle, the waves adorning his face. He looks damn good. And you both fucking know it.

“I look?” he teases, walking closer to you. His cologne suffocating your nostrils but you aren’t upset about it.

“You look…fine. You look better than before at least.” You choke out. It’s not that Jungkook is capable of making you nervous but sometimes he has this aura about him…no, you don’t even want to get into it. Those are thoughts you’ve trained yourself to push away.

“Whatever.” His eyes skim over your body shamelessly, “You look fine too.” He winks, walking past you.

“Ready to go?” he calls out over his shoulder. You can’t help but watch his tight ass walk away. Did you really say tight ass? Well it is!

“Yeah, lemme grab my purse and uh, uh we can go. You’re driving.”

~~~

“About fucking time, sluts.”

“Hello to you too, Jiminie.” You crack a smile as your friend goes in for a quick but tight hug.

When Jungkook finally introduced you to all his friends the one you hit it off with the most was good ol’ Jimin. He immediately became one of your closest friends.

“Yo Park.” Jungkook’s eyes are all around the place, not even sparing Jimin a glance. No doubt looking for his girl for the night already. What? It’s a safe assumption.

“Jeon.” Jimin rolls his eyes playfully. “You guys took forever, too busy fucking?”

You hit Jimin’s shoulder with your own, giving him a look that says you’ll scold him later.

“She wishes.” Jungkook finally puts his attention on the two of you, a wide smile growing on his face.

“Shut up.”

“What? It’s true! Oh my god Jimin, you should of seen her face when she saw me walk out in this fit.” Jungkook stands tall, hands grabbing onto the material of his leather jacket,

“She was like “oh my god Jungkook you look so go—” You go to hit his stomach with your fist but thanks to his rock hard abs you only end up hurting yourself. “Fuck! Ow! What’s under your shirt?” you yell over the music.

“Oh baby, you can find out. Should we go upstairs? I know a room.” He says with a wink.

The words ring a bell of familiarity in your head, each syllable echoing softly. A small smile forms on your lips and Jungkook gives you the softest smile in return. Did he just say the same line he used on you 3 years ago when you two met?

3 years ago

The music is booming so loudly you can’t even hear yourself think. This isn’t your first frat party and probably won’t be your last but you just can’t get use to it. You let your dormmate drag you to this stupid party only for her to ditch you in the first 10 minutes. Great.

You weave through the crowd trying to locate the kitchen to get your hands on the strongest drink you can find, lord knows you need it.

The kitchen is just as crowded as the rest of the house unfortunately. So many bodies. Bodies doing shots. Bodies doing shots off other bodies. Bodies playing games. Bodies grinding against other bodies. So many fucking bodies. It is honestly overwhelming. You walk towards the punch bowl, reaching for a red solo cup when another hand bumps into yours.

“Whoops sorry, go ahead.” The hand is attached to this boy—or man? Should you say man? He sure looks like one. He eyes you up and down before smiling down at you.

“Freshmen?” he asks.

You slump your shoulders, “Do I really look that outta place?” you pout.

“It’s not that…I just have a way of knowing.” He laughs. “I’m Namjoon, by the way.”

Namjoon, huh? He is cute that was for sure. “Y/N.” you say placing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Pretty!” he smiles, then his eyes look behind you. “Ay! Jungkook! What did I say?! No more Keg stands!!!!” Then Namjoon’s eyes are back on you, “Sorry Y/N gotta go, gotta take care of this brat.” Then walks past you to this mysterious Jungkook person.

Your eyes follow Namjoon as he rushes to whoever this Jungkook guy is. Namjoon pulls him to the side obviously scolding him for apparently doing too many keg stands. Jungkook looks like a small child who is about to get grounded, and you can’t help but giggle. Unfortunately, this caught Jungkook’s attention. He looks straight at you, his eyes narrowing. Wait a minute. You recognize him! He definitely looks like the same guy from your Lit class on Tuesday and Thursdays. Yup, you get one long good look at him and he is definitely the same heartthrob of a dude from your class. All the girls go crazy for this guy, you mean, you guess you get it. He is really hot. He’s got on a black t shirt and some ripped jeans, and tousled hair.

Jungkook looks at you again with furrowed brows then smirks. Fuck, you were staring. And got caught. You see Jungkook pat Namjoon on the shoulder a few times then walk past him, much to Namjoon’s annoyance.

And he’s walking towards….you. FUCK. In a total panic, you twirl around to face the wall, yes the fucking wall when you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“’Scuse me?” a voice says from behind you. You’re not going to play dumb, you know who the voice probably belongs to. You stay facing the wall, like a fucking weirdo.

“Wanna turn around?” his voice is light and teasing and you can’t help the long release of breath before turning to face him. Wow. Up close he’s even more handsome….

“Hi?” you sputter out, completely unaware of how lame and shy you sound.

“Hey, like what you see?” he nods his head in the direction he just came from, clearly amused.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Apparently playing dumb is how you decide to go about this. You stare at him with a blank expression, swaying from side to side. Lucky for you it’s in beat with the music so you look kind of cool. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself.

“I mean, you kept staring at me so.”

“No, its…it’s not like that”

“Then, what’s it like?”

“I just…I thought I recognized you so…” you wipe your sweaty hands on your black denim skirt. “That’s all.” You finish, still looking at him like you haven’t done anything weird tonight.

“Anderson’s Lit class right?” he asks with a pointed look. “I recognized you too.” His smirk does things to your lower half but you shouldn’t be admitting that right now.

“Oh?” is all you manage to say.

Jungkook studies you for a few moments, his gaze so dark and intimidating and you feel so flushed with his eyes on you. Then he groans with fingers rushing through his messy hair,

“Do you understand this week’s assignment?”

He…he wants to talk about school?

“Yes, I do. Because this assignment is wack as fuck.”

OH. You must of asked that out loud.

“Yes, you did.”

Oh, that too.

“Umm, yeah. What aren’t you understanding?” you finally say something relevant.

“It’s just more like, I think it’s a stupid assignment.” He chuckles, “Oh, you got something—” he reaches his hand forward to your hair, his fingers brushing through your long strands, pulling back with a piece of string. “Got it.” He says with a sly smile.

HOW CHEESY!!!! But like, it still made the heartbeat in your vagina go boom boom.

“Ya know…” he begins, his eyes never leaving yours as he talks. You actually don’t even know what he is talking about but his lips move so quickly you try to follow them. Your eyes on his lips the whole time, you don’t even realize it.

“���and that’s why I think it’s stupid.” He finally finishes with an obnoxious laugh. “Hey—hey are you even listening?” he says, his lips in a pout. You would know because they are all you’ve been staring at.

“Huh?” you blink lazily up at him, “Oh. Yeah. I totally agree.”

Jungkook stares at you seriously for a second before breaking out into a cackle, yes a cackle like he’s some hysterical witch. Which sounds really unattractive but honestly you’re digging it.

“It’s okay, you weren’t listening. I guess I’m not that interesting, huh?”

“No no! You are!” You’re quick to say, your hands waving frantically in front of you.

“Oh? So you do find me interesting?” he smirks, folding his arms across his chest.

You scoff at his words, appreciating his moves on you with a sly smile.

“Are you always this smooth?” you ask, a light teasing tone laced in your voice.

“Oh baby, you can find out. Should we go upstairs? I know a room.” He teases back.

Feeling so at home lost in your memories with Jungkook, you finally break free from the flashback. For some reason that’s a flashback you don’t mind reliving.

“Smooth.” You grin at Jungkook, you can’t help the blush that paints itself on your cheeks.

“For you? Always.” He grins back. You two just stare at one another, basking in the memories of your friendship.

“Okay, enough.” Jimin cuts in, his hands on both yours and Jungkook’s shoulders, “Either actually get a room and finally fuck or get on with your nights.”

You and Jungkook exchange awkward glances before turning towards the living room to join the party. Jimin is left at the houses entrance by the front door, totally dumbfounded. “these two idiots…” he scoffs under his breath, his eyes rolling so far back into his head.

Hours pass and you know what? The party isn’t as lame as you thought it might be. You are lost in the music on the living rooms dance floor with a red solo cup in one hand and your phone in the other.

“y/n!” you hear the call of one of your closest girlfriends.

“Trina!!!” you stumble towards her with a lopsided grin, you reach for her bringing her in for a long hug.

“Woah, someone’s drunk.” She laughs her loud laugh that you love so much. “And damn, the titty shirt is out tonight? Nice.”

“Not drunk” you giggle, and then continue to giggle again for no apparent reason.

“Right…” Trina slaps your back enthusiastically, “Where’s…” she then lowers her voice with a smirk, “lover boy?”

“who? Jungkook?” you ask with the tilt of your head.

Trina’s head pushes back with a confused expression, “What? No! I’m talking about…” she lowers her voice again, “Taehyung!”

OH. Right. You had texted Trina as soon as the whole ordeal with Taehyung unraveled. She knows of your long time crush and totally supports the idea of fake dating because as she puts it:

“Girl! This is your chance! Show him what a great girlfriend you would be, he would totally fall in love with you for real for real.”

And you have to say, you like where her head is at. Complete opposite of what Jungkook is always saying.

“Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t see him around.” You sway side to side, your lit up phone catching your attention.

Jungkook 1:22am

Don’t come home tonight ;)

You can’t help but roll your eyes. How is he so quick?

Y/N 1:23am

Alreadyasydy tslked 2 Jiminie, staying w hum toniteeee.

Jungkook 1:24am

y/n…you’re not too drunk right?

Jungkook 1:27am

y/n????

You are back to shaking your ass with Trina by your side, the bass of the music thumping so loudly you can feel it vibrate your whole body. Body after body pushes into you, causing you to stumble every few seconds. But your grip on your refilled solo cup doesn’t loosen, not as you chug back your drink.

“Gonna grab another!” you slur, nodding your head towards the kitchen. Trina only gives you a thumbs up as she continues to dance with some random girl.

The walk to the kitchen feels like it’s taking forever, the way the walls swirl around you makes you feel sick. You stagger through the kitchens walk way when you feel two arms wrap around your middle.

“My girlfriend!” You hear the slur of words in your right ear, loud and clear.

You turn in the man’s hold with squinted eyes,

“Oh hi Tae.” You giggle, encasing him in a hug. Drunk y/n is way more confident. For some reason seeing him like this you don’t feel as nervous or awkward. Then you feel it. The weird, uncomfortable pang in your chest. Why is that? You look up at Taehyung when the sensation of guilt begins to surface. You remind yourself of the mission you’re on, completely ignoring the inner truth that tries to bubble over and smile at him.

Taehyung looks down at you with a goofy grin, his fingers digging into your waist to keep you steady.

“Oh, you’re drunk drunk.” He teases.

“Am not!” you shake away your confusing thoughts and giggle some more. “wanna take a shot with me?” you excitedly ask him, nodding in the direction of the liquor bottles.

“Hell yeah girl!” he says, taking your hand and leading you towards the counter.

“Y/N are you okay????” Taehyung voice is laced in concern as he holds you. Yes, the Kim Taehyung is holding you. “Shit, I shouldn’t have let you drink this much….” But like in a totally pathetic way.

“You…” you lean back, hitting his chest with your pointer finger, “Don’t tell me how much I can or can’t drink!” your voice buzzes as you fall forward but Taehyung catches you again.

“Right right…” he chuckles but then he looks concerned again. “We need to get you home…let’s call Jungkook.”

“No! we caaaannnnoottt do that…” your words are all jumbled together, Taehyung has a hard time understanding you.

“Where’s your phone?”

“Back pocket.” You wink. Like a fucking sleaze.

Taehyung looks conflicted, but in the end he reaches around for your phone and turns it on.

“Holy shit y/n… you have 8 missed calls from Jungkook. And whole lotta texts.”

Jungkook 1:30am

Are you okay??

Jungkook 1:40am

y/n…Youre a big girl so ill just assume youre okay.

Jungkook 3:02am

Just talked to jimin and you aren’t with him?? where are u??

Jungkook 3:18am

Answer your fukin phone

Jungkook 3:23am

Are you still at the party?

Jungkook 3:41am

You aren’t with Trina either? y/n where are you?

Jungkook 4:00am

Don’t make me go back there….pls just answer your phone so I know if youre like, idk fucking alive

Jungkook 4:10am

Fine im going to look for you

“Fuck.” Taehyung hisses under his breath. “I gotta call him…I’m gonna call him okay?”

Your eyes go comically wide at Taehyungs words.

“No!”

“too late” he says, the phone to his hear.

“Hey man, no its me…Taehyung, yeah…yeah….she….” Taehyung eyes you carefully as he speaks on the phone, “She’s fine. She just has had maybe too much to dri—” Taehyung drags a hand down his tired face, “No for fucks sake I didn’t do anything to her. Really dude?”

You lean into Taehyungs space, trying to put your ear to the phone as well and Taehyung can’t help but laugh.

“I read all your texts to be honest…if you have a girl over…what? No, I’m saying y/n can just stay with me…”

Stay with Taehyung? That should make your heart race but—

You think all the alcohol is catching up to you at once and the world becomes even more blurred and a spinning mess. You would give anything to be cuddled up in your blankets with Jungkook taking care of you—wait, no. You don’t need Jungkook to take care of you. You have a perfectly good Taehyung who just offered his place to you.

“I swear man, I’ll take care of h—” Taehyung rolls his eyes, “she might be too drunk to talk….okay, I’ll ask her.” Taehyung lowers the phone and faces you.

“y/n.”

“Hm?” you blink lazily, swaying into Taehyungs chest. Oh no. You feel it, you feel the nausea building up in your tummy, making its way up your chest. On a scale of 1 to 10 how dead would you die if you threw up on Taehyung?

“Do you want Jungkook to come pick you up?”

Jungkook? Like, your Jungkook? Unfortunately for you, your eyes gloss over and probably also unfortunate for Taehyung as well as he looks at you with an alarmed expression . You feel sick. You want to go home. You want to sit on your bathroom floor and throw up in the toilet with Jungkook sitting next to you while he hums a soft tune to soothe you.

“Y-Yes.” You murmur shyly, you begin to sniffle and Taehyung begins to panic.

“Okay man yeah come pick her up.”

“want Jungkook…” you say as a few tears spill over. You are trying your hardest to keep the puke down but its threatening to exit your poor drunk body.

“I think she’s gonna be sick so please hurry…” Taehyung rushes to say over the phone before hanging up.

The next few minutes are a blur, you know Taehyung rushes you to the bathroom. He is overly sweet the whole time you see nothing but blurred, spinning images. He holds your hair back as your body threatens to release tonight’s dinner and says comforting words but nothing makes you feel better. The puke won’t make its guest appearance and your whole world is spinning at a inhumane pace. You’re about to give up on life and fall to the bathroom floor of this gross frat house and try to sleep when you hear him.

“Lemme in dude.” It’s Jungkook. You stir from your sleepy state and turn your head towards the door. He barges in, his eyes landing on you and they soften. He immediately falls to the floor to caress the back of your head and you immediately begin to sob. The tears are out of your control as they slide down your cheeks.

“Don’t...don’t...feel good.” You say between wails, gripping desperately onto his shirt.

“I know baby, I know.” He pulls you into his chest, his hand soothingly running up and down your back. “Has she thrown up yet?” Jungkook looks up at Taehyung with expectant eyes. Taehyung is so caught off guard while watching the two of you.

“uh, no.”

“Okay, can you leave us alone for a while?” Jungkook says somewhat harshly then his features soften as he whispers “She will probably be embarrassed later if you saw…”

“Right.” Taehyung says, his worried expression not going unnoticed by Jungkook. Then Taehyung is on his way out, but he turns one last time to get a look at you.

“feel better y/n” then he is out the door, shutting it behind him.

“Okay y/n…remember what you gotta do?”

“finger?” you slur.

“Yup. Put your finger…yes like that,” he says as you begin to push your finger down your throat to get yourself to throw up.

“I promise you’ll feel better.”

You begin gagging on your finger as you finally throw up in the toilet, Jungkook rubbing your back the entire time giving you words of encouragement.

“Good girl, good girl.” He whispers.

Your face is a fucking mess. Your makeup smeared beyond belief. The black streaks from your tears marking your cheeks in the most horrific way. Jungkook watches you as you cry into his lap on the floor, his heart breaking at the sight. He hated when you drank too much and got like this. He should of never left you alone tonight.

“Jungkook?” you choke out, your tears still spilling from your dark eyes.

“Hm?” he responds, his fingers brushing back your hair.

“Did I ruin your night? Or did you still get some?” you chuckle pathetically.

“Don’t worry about that.” He brushes more hair out of your face, he lifts your head up and places it on a towel. He stands to his feet at the sink, reaching for a towelette and running it under warm water.

“Gonna clean your face okay?” he warns softly.

“kay…” you close your eyes when you feel the wet warmth of the towelette on your cheek. Jungkook is careful to clean you delicately, wiping away the makeup and leaving you spotless.

He’s back under you, your head in his lap and his hands back in your hair.

“you told me you were going to be with Jimin tonight yet you were with Taehyung…”

“It just happened like that” you whisper, sleep beginning to take over.

“I was…really worried about you when I didn’t hear from you, stupid.”

You smile at his words, his touch making you melt.

“Ya know, you’re not the only one allowed to get some Jungkook. I can be like you and have sex too if I want.”

“What are you talking about?” his hand stops in your hair.

“Would if I was getting some? That’s why I didn’t answer?”

“Were you?” his voice is low.

“Well, no—”

“Okay good.”

“Why is that good? Hm?” you open your eyes just a little bit, taking in the hazy world. “Wish it was you I was getting it on with?” you say quietly.

“You’re drunk.”

“I wanna go home.”

“take a nap first, okay?” his fingers begin playing in your hair again, “I’ll wake you up in 30 minutes.”

Your eyes are already closed when he says this, sleep already welcoming you in its warm embrace. “Kay” you murmur.

Jungkook plays with your hair as you snooze in his lap, he watches the rise and fall of your chest and wonders what it would be like to lay his head on it and sleep too.

Bbrrrr bbbrrrrr bbrrrr brrrrrr

A phone call. The most horrifying buzzing occurs next to your face as you sleep peacefully in your bed. Wait, how did you get home last night? You remember drinking and dancing the night away, you remember hanging out with Taehyung…oh no, you remember Jungkook coming to the rescue. Oh no...

You try to open your eyes, but the light from the sun is too damn blinding. You squint at what is in view. Right in front of you, you see black locks of hair poking out of the blanket, a dark blue blanket. You recognize this blanket. Jungkook’s blanket. You are in Jungkook’s bed. With Jungkook. This isn’t so surprising, you imagine you had refused to sleep in your own bed last night—

Bbbrrrr bbbrrrr brrrr brrrrr

Right. Your phone.

You fumble the phone trying to pick it up and answer it when Jungkook groans next to you,

“Hurry up and answer it” he says, sliding deeper under the covers.

“Hello?” you croak out, your voice hoarse and honestly? Disgusting.

“Hey y/n!” This voice is way too damn chipper for whatever ungodly hour it is.

“Tae?”

“Good afternoon sleepy head! Did I wake you?” Afternoon? What time is it? You pull the phone away from your face to check the time.

2:06pm

Holy shit, you’ve slept the day away.

“No no,” you lie, “Just in bed…” you say sitting up from where you lay.

“Great! Do you think maybe I could…come over? We can discuss the whole fake dating thing.” He chuckles into the phone. COME OVER? Immediately you begin smoothing down your hair with your free hand and start to peel back the covers to get out of bed.

“Umm, when?” you glance over at sleeping Jungkook, his face mostly hidden behind the blanket.

“Maybe around 6? I could cook you dinner? I know you had a rough night…”

Fucking great. You don’t want to think of last night, you will die of fucking embarrassment.

“yeah…listen, you don’t have to do all that—”

“I want to!” Taehyung is quick to cut you off, “As your boyfriend—fake boyfriend it is my duty to take care of you!” you feel like you can see the boxy smile on his face. It makes you motherfucking swoon.

“Okay then, 6.” You smile into the phone. “Bye tae.”

You bring the phone down into your lap, clicking the end button. Dinner with Taehyung? Like a date? You can’t help but feel internally giddy at the thought. You squeal for a second before Jungkook speaks up.

“What’s at 6?” he peeks from under the covers, his voice husky and groggy.

“Oh… nothing” you sing, a bright smile on your face.

“Something with Tae?” he begins to sit himself up as well.

“We’re just going to have dinner and talk about the whole fake dating thing.” You beam.

“You’re still doing that shit?”

Automatically you go from super excited to annoyed. Only Jungkook can do that to you.

“It’s harmless, Jungkook. Plus…”

“plus what?” he raises a single brow.

“Trina says this is a good opportunity…”

“y/n I have told you not to get too involved with this guy, but you don’t listen to me.” Jungkook crosses his arms over his chest, then bows his head down in defeat.

“But whatever, learn your fucking lessons by yourself.”

You can’t help but feel like Jungkook is once again looking down at you, like you aren’t good enough for Taehyung. Your breaths become unsteady as you just stare at your best friend like he isn’t constantly hurting your feelings on the matter.

“I—I will be fine. I want him, Jungkook. And this is—this is a good opportunity to show him I can be a good enough girlfriend ya know—”

“Just stop.” Jungkook cuts you off in a harsh tone. “I never said you weren’t good enough? You’re just not what he wants.” Jungkook can see how his words break you further. “Fuck. Forget I said that, y/n…”

“Why can’t he want me?”

Jungkook hates just how quietly you ask that…he hates how defeated you sound, how defeated you look…your head hanging low with no attempt to even look at him.

“He’s just…”

“No, it’s fine. Don’t answer that” You stand from the bed and begin walking towards his door. You look down to see you’re wearing nothing but Jungkook’s t shirt and some panties, you groan at your own shamelessness when you hear the rushed ruffling of the comforter behind you and the plop of feet landing on the ground. Jungkook stands behind you, his fingers wrapped around your wrist.

“Just move on y/n…”

I’m fucking trying to, is what you want to say but instead you opt for a harsh ‘leave me alone’ as you exit his room.

You spend the next couple of hours pampering yourself, you had a rough night and you totally deserve a piece of cake, this bubble bath and face mask. You want to feel relaxed but you can’t get the image of Jungkook out of your head. You hate it when the two of you fight. You mean, to others this would hardly come off as a ‘fight’ but you and Jungkook never really have negative energy. So, yes. It’s a fight. He’s the last person in the world you want to fight with. Yet here you are.

But then the image of Taehyung cooking you dinner enters your mind and somehow you feel a little more at ease. Was this a date? You giggle to yourself, blowing bubbles that reaches your lips as you sink deeper into the tub. You have an hour before Taehyung was to arrive at your apartment…your shared apartment. God, you hope Jungkook takes a hint and goes and hangs out with Jimin or something.

You finally rise from the tub and dry off your now freshly cleansed body. The scent of lavender fills the air and you feel satisfied with how your bath turned out.

You read the clock…5:30pm and you know it’s time to get dressed.

You settle for some high waisted shorts and a white tank top with a purple bralette where the straps are generously shown. Looking into the mirror, you decide to do light makeup and tinted lip balm. You don’t want to try too hard for the boy you’re trying to woo.

And bam. 6pm right on the dot you hear the door being lightly knocked. You begin walking towards the front door but stop to see if Jungkook is in his room or not. He’s not. Relief washes over you as you continue to walk towards the front door. But where did he go? You’re relieved he isn’t home but feel anxious that you don’t know where he could have gone. Maybe to Jimin’s? Maybe to some random girls? Somehow this makes you feel more anxious. You shake away those thoughts and swing the front door open.

“Hey there.” Taehyungs boxy grin is enough to get you pregnant. Like, god damn. He looks amazing. He’s got dress pants and some floral shirt and his hair looks slightly wet. That’s not the only thing slightly wet. You internally cringe at your thought.

“Hey Tae, come on in.” you open the door wider to let the boy through. He walks past you and makes himself comfortable in the kitchen, setting down a bag of what you assume is probably groceries.

“You like spaghetti?” he asks excitedly, almost like a child.

“Who doesn’t?” you smirk walking his way and sitting down at the breakfast table. “Need any help?” you offer.

“Not at all.” Taehyung begins unpacking his things and gets to work in the kitchen. You watch in awe, your head nuzzled in your hands as he does his thing.

“Dinner was amazing Tae.” You go to compliment the chef. It really was. The noodles were long and soft and the sauce was very flavorful. Did you really just compliment the length and softness of fucking noodles? Wow, you are whipped. You almost wish Taehyung was your roommate and not useless in the kitchen Jungkook. Oh. Jungkook. The thought of him enters your mind and it has you hurting. You may be having a blast with your crush but you and your best friend are still in the middle of a fight. About said crush. But this really is your chance. You can get Taehyung to like you, maybe even fall for you. And you need this. You need this. So you can’t give up, no matter what Jungkook says.

“Not as amazing as you” Taehyung winks but then his face drops, “Sorry that was cheesy, wasn’t it?” he drags a hand down his handsome face. “I suck at flirting.”

You look up at him, completely intrigued.

“You’re trying to flirt with me?” you can’t help but to smile slyly.

“Of course I am!” Taehyung laughs loudly then reaches for his backpack in the chair next to his and pulls out a notebook.

“So I wrote some ideas for this whole fake dating thing.” He becomes just a tad more serious as a nervous grin lights up his face.

“Oh really? Should I have a look?” you say reaching for the notebook with grabby hands, “Gimme!”

Taehyung chuckles while pulling the notebook to his chest, “No! Miss Greedy.” He teases. “How about I just read them and we can discuss?”

“fine.” You pout, “Whatever you say.”

“Whatever I say? I like the sound of that.” He smirks then his eyes fall to the paper in front of him. “First, we should go on dates…like all the time. The more time we spend together the more believable it’ll be. Ya know?”

“Okay, makes sense. Makes sense.”

“Second, we should attend all parties together and leave together too.” Then his eyes go wide, “I just mean—like don’t worry, I’ll make sure I get you home.”

You can’t help but giggle, nodding your head to his words.

“Third, we should post each other on social media! For example, I can take a picture of tonight’s date and post it on the gram.”

“Tonight was a date?” you ask, a delighted smile making its way on your face.

“Well, yeah…” he answers shyly.

“anything else?” you question, leaning your head in your hands as you look into his big brown eyes.

“Well….. there is one more thing I wrote down….” He answers awkwardly. His eyes sliding to the side to avert your gaze.

“oh? What is it?” you try to take a peek at the paper, curiosity getting the best of you—as usual.

“I’ll just let you read it…” he then pushes the notebook on the table in your direction, you excitedly pick it up and skim the paper. You look at all the things he wrote down, smiling because he even added his own tips.

Buy her flowers.

Movie dates?

Netflix and chill

Cook her dinner

How cute. He even added little doodles. Your eyes continue to skim the page as your smile grows at how much thought he has put into this. Your heart is beating out of your chest…you know this is all fake and for show but you cannot help how happy its making you feel. You continue to smile and hum as your eyes skim lower and lower until you see the last thing on his list.

No Jungkook.

Huh? Your smile begins to falter. No Jungkook? What does that even mean? You look up to meet Taehyungs eyes. He’s already anxiously staring at you.

“I don’t understand?” you breathe out, “What does that mean?”

“No Jungkook.” He half whispers.

“You—you realize he is my best friend? Why no Jungkook?” you pinch your brows together in confusion.

“It’s just…” Taehyung begins to explain himself, “You two are awfully close. And people already get the wrong idea about you two. Like, all the fucking time. Even I think sometimes…that’s not important. It just means for one month, you’re mine. And I don’t want people to get the wrong idea if you’re always with Jungkook.” He pulls at the hair at his neck. “Is this making sense?” Taehyung looks flustered trying to get out all of his words.

“It would make me look pathetic don’t you think? That my supposed girlfriend is always with some other guy? I mean, y/n it’s just for one month…”

One month without Jungkook? Would you really choose a boy over your best friend? Even if only for a month?

“Tae… I don’t know.” You look down at your hands as your breathing begins to pick up.

“I can’t just abandon my best friend for an entire month…”

“I mean, you guys live together so it’s not like you won’t be seeing him. Just in public…ya know?”

Taehyung has a point, you try to reason. If you have a boyfriend it’s only natural to spend most of your time with them. But it still felt wrong. But… a part of you feels like this is a good idea, actually. You’ve always been meaning to put at least some distance between you and Jungkook, ya know, for your own sake. But this feels wrong. You’re about to decline his request when you hear the front door open and Jungkook’s shuffles in. He has his airpods in and doesn’t even spare you a glance. He walks straight to his bedroom and slams the door shut.

You feel embarrassed in front of your guest that your roommate and also yeah, your best fucking friend didn’t even acknowledge you.

“Uh, he’s in a mood” you try covering for Jungkook. Then you feel the buzz of your phone and you go to check it

Jungkook 8:02pm

Watching you fawn over him is just pathetic, but like, good luck.

All you see is red. Jungkook once again shitting on your love life and raining on your god damn parade. You know what? This is your chance with Taehyung and you aren’t going to let your bratty best friend ruin that for you.

“You know what, Tae?” you say setting your phone on the table.

“Yeah?”

“You’re right. I agree with your list.”

“Wait—you do? Even the Jung—”

“Yup.”

Taehyung tilts his head to the side as a wide grin makes its way across his face, “should we shake on it?” he asks with his hand pushed out in front of you.

You take his hand in yours, squeezing tightly before you pull him in and seal the deal with a quick kiss. Taehyung’s shocked expression makes you giggle, “Thought that would make it more official”

“I like having you as a girlfriend already.”

One month without Jungkook? Bring it on.

[blood-sucking-freaks]

it's already on the reblog, but here it is as its own post.

more on my version of the band au;

- I think they'd still be vampires. a lot of people's takes on the au that I've seen has them as humans, but I think it'd be cooler if they weren't

-the lineup would either be;

· Paul = vocals/rhythmic guitar, David = lead guitar, Marko = drums, Dwayne = bass

OR

· Paul = vocals/rhythmic guitar, David = bass, Marko = lead guitar, Dwayne = drums

-I think the first one would most likely work, but I could see the second one working too

-whenever I try to picture them as a band, no matter the lineup, the only person I can see as the vocalist would be Paul. those are just the vibes I get from him. though I don't see him as the frontman of the band. singer =/= frontman

-David would definitely be the frontman. that's how it is in the movie, that's how it would be in the band. I think guitar and bass would both suit him equally ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-Same with Marko, I personally think drums and guitar would both really fit his vibe

-With Dwayne, I think bass would suit him more, but drums might be a good fit too. either way he would be leading the band tempo wise, which reminds me of when they were getting ready to leave the boardwalk and he signaled to Marko and Paul about how they would ride when they raced Michael

-they'd obviously only do night shows, but really, unless it's for a music festival, what band does day shows???

-Max would probably be their manager

-Star would be featured on some of their tracks, I envision her being able to play the piano, so all their songs that have Piano??? Star to the rescue

-they'd bring Laddie along with them on tours, the way that some band members bring their own kids

-they'd definitely take advantage of the groupies, in the yay-easy-food way (not the predatory way you fucking creeps)

-their band name would obviously be 'The Lost Boys',,,,,, feel like that kinda goes unsaid lol

-something like this would be their band logo (also I have the free version of PicsArt so there weren't many good font choices😭):

-bwkjwkw imagine how chaotic interviews with them must be; with Paul and Marko causing a ruckus, Dwayne's resting bitch face and unwavering silence, and David practically being the only one to answer questions but still radiating "I don't wanna be here" vibes

-don't even get me started on the concerts. barely-organized-chaos, but in the good way. if "rowdy" and "unpredictable" aren't your thing then staying home and listening to their records would probably be better than seeing them live

-the songs are probably mostly written by David and Paul, with a mix of Marko and Dwayne every now and then

-hell they've probably even got a few songs that Star wrote

-sometimes they'd bring Laddie on stage and he'd just like,,, chill on an amp or something

-Star would definitely be hovering side stage ready to bring him back to the dressing room at a moment's notice if anything got to be too much for him, but it was usually fine since the boys tended to tone down the chaotic-ness when he was up there with them

-he tends to stick more towards Dwayne or Paul while he's there (mostly Dwayne though)

-they'd honestly probably still find a way to bring their bikes on tour even though they probably wouldn't get many chances to ride them

-the tour bus windows would be completely blacked out so they'd be fine to sleep in it during the day

-bsjnwj imagine the fucking fights in the studio while they're recording,,,, they'd wreak fucking havoc on each other. some of the fights would have gotten really -really- bad, but thankfully at the end of the day they're still all like brothers, and everything was able to get sorted out. some of the apologies may have been forced, but they were definitely needed.

-i have a feeling Marko would try to smuggle at least one pigeon with him everytime they leave for tour. it probably got to the point where the others would have to go through what he packed and pat him down to make sure that he was pigeon-free

-the after-show parties would be crazy. usually Marko and Paul were the only ones in the band to attend, but sometime David would hang around in the corner for a while before deciding that he had better things to do that watch some strangers and his idiot bandmates get wasted. if Dwayne were to be spotted at one it would be like finding a fucking unicorn - no one would believe it.

-hsjsbwj Paul would probably try to start shit on stage with David and David would just tell at him for it after the show is over

-clothes get passed around so much that there are several things that they've all forgotten who it belonged to originally, it's just all of theirs now

-everyone would have their own bunk, but every now and then Laddie would sneak into either Dwayne, Star, or Pauls to stay with them for the night (day??? whatever) (🥺)

[beyoncesdragon]

title: catch up now? 

× pairing: Idol!Jungkook x Interviewer!Reader, old friends from highschool kinda stuff, abandoned but maybe rediscovered love on both sides. 

× summary: Three years are a long time. In three years, many things can and will change. But three years hadn’t been quite enough to change how two people feel about each other. 

× warnings: a little teeny bit angsty but it’s nothing, really. Mainly fluff, some flustered, overly eager Gguk and old memories coming up. 

× wordcount: 2k

× a/n: Not gonna lie, this might be one of my favourite pieces I've ever written. I really hope you enjoy this too! it’s somehow inspired by ‘Love Maze’ (BTS) and also ‘50 Proof’ (eaJ). Will probably not have a pt.2

main masterlist | bts masterlist

When he had read the name of the interview host - or hostess more like - Jungkook had already felt the familiar tingle in the pit of his stomach that he had thought had disappeared over the course of time. Yet, he wasn’t surprised that it was still there.

He had however not dared to hope that it could actually be you, there sure were other people called (Y/N) (Y/L/N), who has pursued their dream of becoming an interviewer, media person, whatnot. He didn’t even know if you had actually graduated uni and made it in the job, hence he hadn’t seen any of you in about four years of him debuting now. He had occasionally checked out your Instagram or Twitter, yet he shied away from following you on any social media platform. You weren’t really public about your work or personal life on both, you mainly retweeted stuff (he found out about your love for Bingsu and Makgeolli ice cream like that) and posted a few selfies or landscapes. He hoped that you had been able to pursue your dream of traveling around for a bit, in South Korea and outside of it. Though again, he didn’t know.

Jimin was seated right in front of him and Jungkook couldn’t help but nervously play with his hyungs honey blond dyed hair. Jimin chuckled surprised yet amused about his open display of nervousness and turned around slowly.

“Everything okay, Jungkook-ah? You seem more nervous than usually.” He remarked, making Namjoon look over to the maknae in wonder. “He does, right? I thought so too. Did something happen?” Jungkook only shook his head.

Not yet, he thought to himself.

The cameras around them started to blink all at once, the light has been set up correctly and the camera and sound team had settled down around them in the dark. Manager and publicists stood somewhere in the back, swallowed up by the dark. The only person that was missing still, was you. Or the person called (Y/N) (Y/L/N), Jungkook tried to tell himself.

Suddenly there was a soft laugh from somewhere off the scenes and his heart tripped over its own beat and finally, finally, you stepped into the light.

You looked pretty as ever, grown into your features entirely, like a lotus flower finally in full bloom. Jungkook had to swallow dry. The light coral red of your lip balm complimented your skin and the subtle almost invisible make up you wore, accentuated your already beautiful features even more. You hadn’t changed your hair much, but it was a bit longer and looked so soft in the bright light. His eyes almost subconsciously darted to your fingers, searching for evidence of a possible relationship. He was almost ashamed how quickly he ended up thinking about this, his own boldness making him even more flustered. (There was no formal looking ring on your ringfinger though, to his relief.)

There was a warm smile on your lips as you bowed deeply to them all, greeting them respectfully. The boys returned your greeting immediately and a bunch of annyeong haseyo-s sounded through the studio. Jungkook felt Namjoon look over at him again, a piercing gaze Jungkook knew he wouldn’t be able to withstand if he met it. So he just kept looking at everything but Namjoon...not that this was hard to do when you were right in front of him.

“Thank you so much for being here with us.” You said with a smile, looking at everyone with the same look of respect and polite distance. Like you were supposed to, at work, as a professional. Like you didn't know them personally. Everyone, including Jungkook.

He felt his heart drop to his stomach. Could it be that you...forgot about him? It couldn’t really be, right? How would you actually be able to, you really...in this moment your eyes crossed again and something flickered in your eyes, a facade crumbled for a few seconds only. It was an amused twinkle, like a cheeky wink and a minimal curl of your lips. 

Acknowledgement.

And Jungkook’s heart did multiple flips, breath caught in his throat and eyes widened.

You had started with the questions, keeping the conversation light and flowing. The vibe in the room was comfortable and built up on mutual respect - yet Jungkook felt as if he was sitting on red-hot needles. He wanted to talk to you, ask about how you had been, what you were doing (if you had a boyfriend) if you were happy, if you got a cat, how your mother’s little business was going (he’d anonymously purchased countless items, to support your family), if your favourite colour still was cyan blue and your still religiously bought Pajeon and Makgeolli on rainy days, if you ever spent a second of your day thinking of him (because he did).

Him, your somewhat ex-best friend from highschool, him, the one you spent hours talking to in the ungodly hours of the morning, him who you had lost your first kiss to (though lost wasn’t the right word: you gave it to him more like). Him who you had poked fun of when the first girl approached him in his Rookie days and he’d been flustered to no end.

Him, who had promised to you that he wouldn’t abandon your friendship and yet the two of you drifted apart anyways.

Not for the lack of trying on either side though. Jungkook’s schedule had just become even fuller, his nights shorter, training longer and fans more obsessive. And you had seen each other less often, greetings were shorter and late night talks turned into good night wishes over text quicker.

You on your part weren’t mad, a little disappointed maybe. Sad for sure, but not mad. After all, you had expected it to turn out like that. So had the rest of your little circle, Haneul, Hwang, Kyong and Myunghee. Whilst the five of you had supported Jungkook on his journey with all you’ve got, you all tried to overcome the obvious pain of him drifting off.

Some (mainly Hwan and Kyong) with working harder in school for example. You did that too, but sometimes you also partied a little harder, were awake at three AM a little more often, missed him a lot more. It hurt letting someone you love go.

Jungkook and you had always been a bit...closer. Why you didn’t know, how you couldn’t possibly explain. But you were and him rising into the heights and new dimensions of being an idol destroyed this almost completely. This strange world of fame, those walls of flashing cameras, the flow of expensive goods and seas of screaming people, that was his world. He was a star, figuratively and somewhat literally. He shone more radiant, higher, longer, prettier and too bright for an innocent, young love to coexist.

So you stayed behind, soon having lost his number due to him having to change it, his contact information soon had less to say than what you could find on the internet.

His new hair colour? Well, you could google it. Height? Current weight? Several fan sights knew the answer. Achievements? The internet again.

 It was strange, ridiculous to some extent. And it hurt. But you couldn’t blame him, so you never did.

⋄

When you had heard that you would be interviewing BTS last week you could help but feel scared. You hadn’t seen him face to face for three or so years, three years with no FaceTime, texting, three years of not seeing his bunny smile, smiled just for you.

And when you had seen him again, laid eyes on him for the first time in thirty-five months, you realised that nothing you ever felt for him had faded away. It was all the same again, your heart still jumped in your chest and your stomach still fluttered whenever he did as much as breathing. The only thing that had changed was his height and him having had the biggest glow up you had witnessed in your life, yours included – though this Jungkook would disagree vehemently. 

This Jungkook who got pulled out of his thoughts and memories almost violently, as you directed a first question at him only.

“I…” he started, gulping hardly, having forgotten the question already halfway.

“Sorry I can’t – how have you been?” you stopped shortly, stunned and a tad confused at first. You hadn’t expected him to be so bold. Or clumsy, for that matter. Yet you couldn’t help but giggle, and all the unsaid words and ignored truths between the two of you disappeared into smoke, taking all tension with them. Just like that.

“I’ve been fine, Gukie. Busy. Long-time no see, hm. How about you?” somewhere behind the cameras someone dropped a pen and there were multiple gasps being heard. The rest of the bangtan boys didn’t look any better; Jimin had his mouth open, Taehyung was looking back and forth between the two of you, Yoongi just froze, Jin and Hoseok had clasped their hands in front of their mouths and Namjoon just looked like someone poured a bucket of ice water over his head.

But Jungkook? Jungkook was smiling widely, his bunny smile, smiled just for you. 

“Busy too. Yes, very long time no see.” He replied sheepishly, a small laugh escaping his lips as he looked around the dead silent studio. “Why…how do you know each other?” Yoongi finally asked, eyes snapping back and forth between the two of you.

“Well I guess we have to tell them now. We know each other from back in Highschool. We were pretty close friends back then.” You explained softly, giving him a small smile. Jungkook nodded quickly. “My apologies. I didn’t wanted to completely ruin the interview but…I haven’t seen you in three or so years. Sorry.” You waved it off. “It’s okay, Jungkook. We will catch up later, alright?” Jungkook nodded, making the mistake of looking over to Namjoon, who looked like he finally understood everything. “Is that why you were so…never mind.” He ended in a mumble and Jungkook was glad he did.

⋄

The second the interview was officially finished and all the cameras shut off, Jungkook was on his feet and approaching you. He didn’t even care about formalities anymore as he just wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight hug.

The first thing he noticed was that he couldn’t nestle his face in the crook of your neck as easy as he had been able to do in high-school. The second thing was that you had changed your perfume into something more flowery and fresh. The third thing he noticed was how much he liked having you in his arms again, especially because he could now rest his head on top of yours.

The first thing you noticed was how broad your Kookie had become. Broad and tall and firm everywhere. The second thing you noticed was how he smelled more expensive, faintly musky but still very much like Jungkook. A scent you could pick out from a thousand, unique and everything you loved. The third thing you noticed was how familiar and how looked after you felt in his arms, how protected from every harm. You had missed this feeling.

“Aigoo, Junkookie!” Jin yelled from behind, causing you to chuckle embarrassed and trying to break the hug. But Jungkook simply tightened his arms around you, having no intentions of letting you go any time soon.

“Just ignore them. They’ll leave, eventually.” His voice was muffled by the skin on your neck, since he had now buried his face there, taking deep breaths.

“And we?” you asked with a small laugh, not moving either. “We stay. We catch up. Got a lot of that to do.” Sounded good enough to you…just that you had expected them to make a bee-line for the exit after the cameras cut due to their busy schedule.

“Catch up now?” you asked after a few seconds of him still having his arms around you, unmoving. The young man shook his head.

“No…not right now.” He took a deep breath, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, mumbling against your skin and the fabric of your blouse. 

“In five minutes. Let me just hold you for a little while, you…you have no idea how much I missed you.” 

If he only knew.

— ✩ thank u for reading ✩ —

[suchalonelysunflower]

The Beginning of the After (a.i)

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Fem! Reader

Summary: Every person has a before and an after. Now it’s Ashton’s turn to deal with the after you created.

Warnings: Angst. Language. Mentions of alcohol. Probably some grammar mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 4 k

Author’s note: I missed writing for Ash so much! This fic comes with an afterthought question: Is there a bad guy in every story? Remember that Reblogs, Comments, Feedback and Likes are very important! They really help a lot and are more than welcome and encouraged, I love to hear from you guys 💕 Hope you like it and Happy Reading ✨🦋🌻

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

The bitter liquor burned his throat as he swallowed the liquid like it was nothing, it felt like nothing. It was his first drink of the night and he cannot promise it would be his last. He knows he should be ashamed of himself but lately, he doesn’t even know who he is and if he would ever become the person he was again. Truth is, he doesn’t care, not anymore. Not since the day you left.

He could still remember how cold the house felt the day he came back just a little bit late. He remembers how his smile stiffened as he opened the door and couldn’t hear your laugh, or your voice, or even feel your presence anymore. He has almost forgotten how it was to live on his own, already so used to you.

His grip tightened around the glass, knuckles turning white as he felt the ice melt inside the empty glass, trying desperately to feel something other than the emptiness you left, not only at your side of the bed but also inside of him.

How could you just leave him like that? No note, no calls, no texts. It was like you were never there, to begin with.

Before he could realize it, his glass was full once again and he just stared at it. It was almost funny how he found himself in the same situation he was a few years prior, the years before you. And now, after you, he felt like the alcohol mocked him and his failure. But, did he really fail?

It was impossible to know. Not without you here, at least. But the alcohol didn’t know that, the strangers looking at him pitifully didn’t know that. They just knew that a lonely man was standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring at his drink and wishing everything could just stop for a second. Maybe if the world stopped he could break down and still feel as strong instead of drowning his sorrows with past mistakes.

They didn’t allow him to break down. Not in the way he wanted at least, not in the way he needed. They were very quick to jump to conclusions, friends you once called your own now trashed your name like a bad word. Their loyalty blinded them from any common sense, seeing how much he was hurting. One thing you might have forgotten is that you hurt them too with your departure, you were their friend, after all, the only difference is that they transformed the pain into a rage, believing that some things are better to avoid than to feel.

But he couldn't have that luxury, he always said that he was cursed with feeling too much, creating a mixture of feelings that turned into nothing and everything at the same time, and right now he wished he could just turn everything off and go to sleep. Hoping that if he wished hard enough everything would be good once he woke up.

“Hey, Ash!-” Calum called over the loud music, trying to get his attention. But as soon as his eyes met the glass his friend was holding, his smile faded completely.

Ashton could feel the disappointment in his friend’s demeanor. He was disappointed in himself as well, but that was as obvious as the moon glowing at night. He knew drinking would not solve his problems or bring you back again, but he didn’t know what else to do. It was the only thing he remembers before you.

His eyes burned, unsure if it was because of the alcohol or the tears he was trying to hold back for the sake of his friend. Yet, he still managed to smile at Calum, hoping he could believe his bluff. But everyone with a pair of eyes could tell the meaningless smile on his face. His dimples stopped showing once you left and his smile barely reached his eyes anymore. He became a shell of a man he once was.

Calum’s eyes were still on the half-empty glass in Ashton’s hand “It’s my second and last” He said, but judging by the way he was holding onto the glass for dear life, that was clearly a lie.

Brown eyes meet Hazel as they have a silent conversation. Worry and pity clash with the walls Ashton created, ending with a deep sigh and a simple nod.

“There is someone I’d like you to meet,” The curly-haired man said with a smile, wrapping an arm around Ashton’s shoulders.

A small flashback appeared on his mind, he said the same thing the night he met you a few years ago. A shiver ran down his spine as he felt dizzy, removing himself from Calum’s hold.

“No.” That was all he said.

“Dude-”

“I said no, Calum” He knew he might be acting a little bit aggressive towards someone that didn’t deserve it. But he wants nothing to do with meeting new people, especially knowing that his friends were trying to set him up with another lover to try and get him to forget you.

But he was not the only one who was frustrated with the situation “You can’t keep hanging on to-”

“That’s my business, isn’t it?” Ashton said as he gulped his drink in its entirety, avoiding Calum’s eyes as he filled it up again “Listen, I appreciate what you’re doing but I’m not ready. Just because you guys forgot about her like it was yesterday's news doesn’t mean I did.”

Calum was about to say something along the lines of how he hasn’t forgotten you nor forgiven you for that matter, or maybe he’d just throw another insult at the person you became once you disappeared from everyone’s lives. Ashton knew it all already, but he also knew that the truth was that Calum felt guilty over this whole situation, he was the one who introduced you to Ashton, the one who created the beginning of the aftermath. But before he could even muster the first word, Ashton was already walking away.

He pushed through the sea of strangers, not stopping to talk to any of them as he felt the urge for a little bit of fresh air. He knew Calum meant well, all of them did. But he knew the hidden meaning behind these unnecessary parties, the careless comments and light gossip on other people Ashton’s never heard of before, and the unsettling silence that it came after the sound of your name.

Ashton knew he should do it. He should just forget you and move on but things are not that easy for him. He loved you, he still does and he's not sure he should. He once told you he couldn't imagine a life without you, a life without loving you and he still can’t, even after you were the one who left. If you asked him he would say that he loves you like the first day, but the pain is something entirely different that overshadows everything that comes into his path, even the love that you once had.

He managed to get out of the house before he felt like drowning, taking a huge gasp of air as he stepped outside. A crushing weight came over him as he let the suffocating stream of tears fall down his eyes. He breathed once, twice, three times before brushing them away, he wasn’t going to break down here. He counted to ten and told himself that it will all be over once he reaches home, that he will be fine once he goes to bed, and allows himself to shut down for the day, ignoring the cold space next to him as he closes his eyes. Cause reality isn’t real once he gets to sleep, even if it meant sleeping without you by his side. Then it will be another day where he could pretend longer that he doesn’t miss you, that he is strong enough to carry the weight of your unsaid goodbye and fool his friends with laughs and jokes until they stop worrying about him.

He doesn't like pretending, but he has no other choice. His spirit is divided into letting go and holding on to his pretense, scared of both consequences. But he is not himself anymore, who was he before you? and who could he become after you? He feels like a stranger in his own mind, the only person who could bring him back was long gone and you were not coming back.

Ashton drowned the rest of his drink and stared at his watch, counting the seconds until he could finally go home without anyone being on his case.

“You still count the minutes till midnight?”

The voice came from behind him. The urge of turning around got overshadowed by the strength in which his feet stood their ground. He felt how the hair on his back started to frizz as a shiver ran down his whole body. He must’ve heard wrong…

“Ash?”

He gripped his glass with enough strength that it almost broke in his fingers. This couldn’t be happening, not right now. He never wished to be drunk as much as this moment.

He heard a few steps behind him, he couldn’t figure if they were walking away or coming closer. He needed to know. He needed closure. So he did the most foolish thing he could've done and turned around.

Ashton was sure he was seeing ghosts at that moment. His body is completely frozen despite the alcohol running down his veins. You can’t be here standing in front of him, not after all this time. What kind of prank is this one?

“Hi, Ashton,” You said, tucking your hair behind your ear, suddenly feeling small standing in front of him. He noticed that you weren't smiling but you wanted to, seeing him took a toll on you as well.

He, however, didn’t say anything, how could he? It was like you knocked all the air inside his lungs and left him speechless.

You were here, in front of him. You were wearing the sweater he bought you, wrapping your arms around yourself to protect you from the cold air of the night. Ashton would’ve given you his jacket the moment he saw you shiver, but that seemed so far away right now, almost like another life.

He hasn’t seen you in months and now you were here, and all you could say was hi?

“I wanted to talk to you,” You said, voice small as you looked into his hazel eyes, wishing you knew what was going on inside his head. Did he want you to leave? Would he talk to you? Does he hate you as much as you hate yourself?

Ashton closed his eyes for a moment, hoping that this was all a dream, but when he opened them back you were still there, standing like a deer caught in the headlights. The muffled sound of music was long gone as the only thing he could hear was the beating of his heart, pounding so rapidly he thought it might stop.

“Ash?”

“Now you want to talk?”

His voice sounded harsher than he intended, he noticed by the way you flinched at his words. He would apologize but he didn’t know how “You left me six months ago without a word and now you want to talk?”

All his feelings melted together in a wave of unprompted anger. He wasn’t ready to see you tonight, and now you cornered him wanting to talk, something you refused to do the night you broke him. The irony of it all almost made him laugh.

“I-” You stuttered but he didn’t let you finish.

“Six months ago I came to find an empty home. You are not there, your stuff, your clothes, your fucking toothbrush! All gone! And not a single explanation” All the feelings he bottled up were surfacing now. He didn’t care if he was yelling, he didn’t care that you started crying, he didn’t care that he started crying. This was too much. This was not fair.

“Do you know- Can you even imagine how scared I was? Especially after you didn’t pick up the phone for hours, for days! I-I didn’t know if you were okay I-I thought something happened to you and then I get a call from one of your fucking friends telling me not to contact you anymore?! Do you realize how horrible that was? How excruciatingly painful it was to hear those words from a stranger?”

“I’m sorry! I-”

He didn’t want to hear it. “Sorry doesn't cut it, Y/N!” Ashton threw the glass somewhere in the grass, he would clean it after if it broke “Sorry is what you say when someone’s grandma died. Sorry is what you say immediately after you make a mistake. So sorry is not enough right now”

“What are you doing here? Where have you been?! What made you walk away from nearly five years of relationship? Did you just wake up one day and decided to leave me and all that we've been through behind? Did I do something to make you leave?” He whispered the last part, brushing away the tears that were still rolling down his cheek.

“No!” You quickly said “God, no. Ashton, you did nothing wrong! It was me, it was all me!”

“I can’t make sense of anything since you left” Ashton’s voice was hoarse, broken. The anger was coming down but the uncertainty and the heartbreak quickly replaced it “I barely eat or sleep or… Why did you do it? We were happy, weren’t we? Did I fail you somehow? Help me understand how we went from a happy, healthy couple to you running away without a trace for me to follow. Why, Y/N? Why?!”

“I found the ring!” You snapped, sobbing as the truth left your mouth.

Ashton felt like a bucket of water had fallen on him, soaking him and taking every ounce of heat his body could create.

He bought a ring, yes, he even got Luke's help to pick it up. He was planning to propose somewhere along the year to come. He loved you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, how could he not? You were everything he wanted, everything he needed, and now… Now he doesn’t know who you are.

You are still standing with your arms wrapped around you as you cry. Soft sobs escape your mouth as you try to mutter a word, anything that could excuse the hurt that you caused him. The Y/N he knew would’ve never hurt him the way that you did, where was she now?

“I found the ring that morning after you left for the studio,” You said, as calmly as you could. Staring into Ashton’s eyes to make sure he was listening “I was rearranging the closet and it just fell from your coat… Next thing I knew I was driving to San Diego”

You saw Ashton’s chest rise and fall with the deep breaths he took. His face was numb, expressionless as you continued talking, not knowing if you’d ever stop “I- I was scared, Ashton. I wasn’t ready for marriage and we never really talked about it before and- Everything happened so fast! So I did the most horrible thing I could ever do and just ran away and there is not one day where I don’t regret that”

“Ashton, I love you. I love you and I never stopped loving you for a second. The minute I realized what I’ve done it was too late, you were probably already home and I knew you’d hate me. I-I couldn’t go back, it was too late and I-”

“Then why are you here?” The words felt like venom for the two of you “Why are you here now, Y/N?”

“Cause I love you. And it took me all this time to realize that I can’t live without you. Do you think you are the only one suffering from my decisions? Ashton, I haven’t left the house for weeks. I cry myself to sleep every night cause I miss you by my side. You consume my every thought and I just couldn't take it anymore, I needed to see you, to say I’m sorry and to ask for you to take me back. I love you and I know you still love me, babe. Please-”

“No.” The word fell out of his mouth before he even realized it.

This is the moment where you both feel could last forever. The time stops as you both take in Ashton’s word: No. And all that he means by that.

“Ash-”

“No, Y/N” He stopped crying, but the pain inside his eyes was crystal clear “Y-You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to reappear in my life after you left me. You left me! You broke me and I had to pick up the pieces, I’m not even healed yet and here you come to open the wound even more”

“I-”

“You are a coward!” Ashton spat, “Five years! We fucking knew each other for five years! I loved you for five years and I thought we could trust each other cause that's what couples do. But no, apparently that wasn't enough. You walked away instead of facing this like a fucking grown-up. You said you were scared? So was I! But I was so sure of my feelings for you that I was willing to fight those fears, I was going to fight them with you cause that’s what we do! We don’t turn away from each other, especially when things get rough and that’s exactly what you did. You abandoned me, body and spirit and took it all with you”

“If you had talked to me that day we could’ve worked it all out. Tell me you are not ready for marriage? Perfect! then we’re not getting married. I didn’t need a piece of paper or a fancy ring to know that I still would’ve wanted to spend the rest of my life next to you. But you… for you, it was so easy to just leave”

“I never said it was easy, Ashton!” You defended, but he didn’t care.

“And yet here you are, six months later. If the guilt wasn’t eating you up would you ever come back?” Ashton asks, taking a step closer to you, already knowing the answer “This is not love, Y/N” He said with a broken voice “This is not how it's supposed to be. You are doing your duty, what you think is the best for you cause you know you fucked up. If you cared you wouldn’t have left in the first place, you would’ve come back the minute you realized this was a mistake cause God knows I would've taken you back then”

He felt like he was being unfair to you but he couldn’t push away past the pain and the anger. He couldn’t understand why you left him, why it was so easy for you to run away while he spent the past few months in an emotional coma. He wasn't allowed to run away from his feelings and yet, you did. You left him alone with no comfort and thought that you could have fixed everything when the damage was already irreparable.

“You have no right coming here and try to undo the mess you created, thinking everything would be fine between the both of us. I’m not the same man you fell in love with and you are clearly not the same girl I fell in love with. Pain can change people and, baby, you completely wrecked me”

“I know” You cried silently “I know, Ash and I have regretted it from the beginning. I was selfish and-”

“That’s right, you were and still are by coming here” He wiped his face with the palm of his hand, trying to compose himself “And I’m not just talking about me. Do you have any idea how much you hurt the boys? Their partners? We were a family and you just broke it like it was nothing. Five years of nothing. I'm glad to know that's all we meant for you”

“Ashton, please!” You begged him to stop talking. You knew you deserved this, that he was right on almost everything he said except on the part that you didn't care. You did more than you should and, you just hoped that maybe, just maybe... “I fucked up! I know, and you have every right to hate me-

“That’s the problem!” Ashton said with a dry laugh that held all the resentment he had towards himself “I wish I could hate you but the truth is that it’s completely the opposite. I should hate you, cause loving you just hurts too much”

His words hurt more than believing he hated you. You wish he hated you “Ashton, I-”

The sound of the back door opening and a slight gasp caught you both by surprise.

“What is she doing here?” Michael asked defiantly as he started walking towards Ashton, followed by Calum and Luke.

“She was just leaving,” Ashton said, looking at you like it was nothing. Like you were nothing.

Everyone stood quiet as the black-haired man stood his ground. You didn't dare to watch the hatred in his bandmates eyes, so you concentrated only in him. Although as soon as you did that you regretted it instantly.

His eyes had nothing to show other than utter disappointment. His voice was firm and cold as steel, whoever this person was, it was not the Ashton they used to know. No, that Ashton died the day you left. The day that marked the beginning of the after.

Your eyes filled with a new set of tears as you took a step towards him “Ash…” But you were interrupted as Luke stood in front of you, blocking you from giving another step “You heard him” Was all he said.

You watched as Ashton started to walk inside next to Calum and Michael, not even sparing a glance towards your direction one last time.

“No, no no no. Luke” You beg to the tall Australian “Luke, please I-”

Luke softly grabbed you by the shoulders and pleaded “Please, Y/N/N. Don’t make this any more difficult for any of us. Please”

And just like that, you watched as Ashton disappeared inside the house, just like you did to him.

*

“Hey, Ashton!” Calum called over the music, a big smile decorating his face.

Ashton turned around and smiled just as wide as his friend “What’s up?”

“There is someone I'd like you to meet” The teasing in his voice was apparent. Ashton rolled his eyes, knowing the game too well.

He was about to say something until he laid eyes on the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. Her smile seemed to illuminate the room and her eyes sparkled like a thousand stars. An invisible halo surrounded her as she made her way towards Calum and him, and he knew this was the someone Calum wanted him to meet. It was too perfect to be real.

Ashton stood in complete awe in front of this stranger whose cheeks tinted red the moment she laid eyes on the drummer. He shook his head out of the trance and extended his hand for you to take.

“Hi, I’m Ashton,” He said with a smile filled with dimples.

You took his hand on yours and you both could feel the immediate spark. They were already hooked and they didn’t even know their names yet.

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you”

“The pleasure is all mine, love,” He said while bringing your hand to his lips and planting a sweet kiss on your knuckles “I have a feeling that this would be the beginning of something”

You chuckled “Something good, I hope?”

Ashton smiled “Something beautiful”

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @theshyspy @talksoprettyjjx @sarcasticallywitty15 @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @mystic-232

*if your url is scratch please contact me so we can fix it

[nimmy22]

A Mistake: Chapter 12

~ The following day, Saturday ~

"Do something, Wesker! These fucking imbeciles at the papers are starting to question my competence as chief all because of a pathetic group of boys you can't seem to dispose of." Irons seethed, slamming his cup of whisky on the desk, knocking his nameplate to the ground.  

Wesker gave nothing away of his emotions, save for a tick in his brow. His hands craved to wrap around Irons’ neck, giving it a swift snap. It's how he felt most of his days at the station. Irons was replaceable. The man didn't realize just how worthless he was to Umbrella. His replacement could arrive this very afternoon.

"We are working on finding the gang's nest. The big players keep using young boys for the jobs but tell them nothing about insider information. There are too many eyes watching us right now. We cannot use any special means to dispose of the group in order avoid questions."

"Just Do your fucking job right. I can't stand the news conferences anymore. the journalist's questions make me look laughable." Irons clutched his glass, throwing it hard against the wall. Tapping a finger on the armrest, Wesker didn't bat an eye at the behavior of the chief of police. One couldn't expect much from such a lowly creature.

"You seem to forget why Umbrella put me as captain of STARS. It isn't to keep up your public appearance but to protect theirs. I'm not the one who isn't doing his job. Deal with the journalists while I handle the little boy scouts." pushing back his chair, Wesker made sure to leave deep grooves on the freshly varnished floors. The scraping sound was like music to his soul. He didn't miss the deathly glare on his way to the door like hot iron rods.

Returning to the STARS office, Wesker ignored the gossiping of Chris and Jill about the newest trouble between their captain and Irons. Shutting the door to his office, he took a seat behind his desk. Through the office blinds, he eyed each present member of STARS. of course, no one was getting any work done, lazing around the office, making meaningless bets.

This simply will not do.

It was time they did some undercover work, gathering information about Raccoon city's newest crime family. These boy scouts wouldn't last long around here, especially since they fell on the radar of the real monsters in the shadows of Raccoon.

---------------

She sat alone on the staircase, elbows resting on her knees, wondering how the hell she got here.  The house was familiar to her. How many times has she looked after Sherry here? Still, it felt strange. It was his space, and she was invading it.

This was now supposed to be her home. The place gave no hints as to who lived here, lacking any personal touch. It was likely the work of an anterior designer following the most fashionable trends. The home of a bachelor.

Speaking of Wesker, he left after dumping her here last night and vaguely pointing her towards the guest room with a 'help yourself' to any food. As always, he gave her the bare minimum of info, not that she asked what he was up to. She didn't care whether he spent the night hiding bodies or doing legitimate police work. She was too terrified to sleep under the same roof, only a few walls apart. Does the man ever sleep? Shower? Eat?

She won't lie. She was glad Wesker left. But even with him gone, she couldn't stop thinking about what happened. More so the kiss than almost becoming a guinea pig. It was a lot to process, and she couldn't even begin.

For the nth time, she forcibly pulled her fingers away from her lips, scolding herself for replaying the memory again. This man was absolute bad news. She needed to get out of the house, and an incoming call from Claire had her scrambling to answer as quickly as possible. Her friend presented an idea, and Cara was all too grateful to join in.  

Pulling up Wesker's name in the contacts, Cara's fingers hovered over the letters, unsure of what and how much to tell him.  Where did they stand? Did he really mean everything, or was it a trick?  Was she free to leave? Did he give up completely on the idea of killing her?

"Going out with Claire. I will be back late." she texted, fully knowing a lot of info was missing. But it's not like he ever gave her a ton.

"Stay out of trouble.' came a replay moments later.

The words were unsaid, but Cara definitely heard them.  'I don't have time to drop everything and run over to the rescue each and every time you get in trouble,'

'I asked for help only once. The other time's nobody asked you to come.' Cara grumbled but deleted what she wrote. she could've gotten herself out of those situations...with a little bit of thinking. Actually, a lot of thinking.

----------------------------

Cara had to walk several blocks away from Wesker's house to prevent suspicion. If by any chance, Claire knew the address of her brother's captain, it would be a hole she did not want to leap into.

Standing in front of an old bookstore, she waited for her friend. The building was slightly rundown, its walls covered in graffiti, but the owners were a kind elderly couple. They pushed discounts her way, and she was guilted to buy something. She ended up buying a useless cat plushie toy after seeing that most books were non-fiction or raunchy romance novels. She would rather die than have Wesker coming across an erotic novel lying around his house.

She stared at the plushie as she leaned against the wall outside the shop. Cara considered giving it to Sherry the next time they met. This would be the first present she ever gave the young girl, and she could almost imagine the excitement on Sherry's face. It made her smile.

A helicopter passed overhead, sleek black and adorned with the Umbrella white and red symbol. Cara watched the chopper get smaller and smaller until it disappeared, heading in the direction of the Arkley mountains. she wondered about their business up there was. Looking around, no one else seemed to notice nor care. Maybe it was best to keep all knowledge to herself.

Seeing a familiar redhead and a motorcycle, Cara waved as Claire pulled up, handing her a helmet.

---------------

The barn smelled of sweat, dust, and old wood. The unmistakable smell of alcohol was thick in the air as it was passed around freely in cheap red plastic cups. She recognized kids from school, but many more were older, likely from Raccoon university. A light disco machine was nailed to the wall, casting the barn in a series of flashing lights. Tall Straw piles of hay distributed across the barn ensured there was no shortage of dark corners for people to disappear to.  For a moment, Cara considered hiding in the straw and then going home when the party was over. But seeing the sparkle in Claire's eyes about hanging out with her best friend threw the idea out the window. With a sigh, she followed her friend.

Over the course of the night, the girls danced and drank, carefree. A blond-haired boy was staring at her, Cara noticed. He attempted to walk up to her but turned around before getting within ten feet. He tried multiple times but always chickened out despite his friends constantly cheering him on. Claire thought it was cute and refused to stop openly staring at him and giving a thumbs up.  Cara swatted Claire's hands before holding them behind her back in a pretend arrest, pushing her against the straw pile.

"Sorry Officer! I was just trying to help you get laid," Claire giggled. "I hope you're into blonde's though,"

"This is so embarrassing. Stop, or I'm leaving," Cara snapped, feeling a blush heat her face as Wesker crossed her mind. Fuck, why now?

"Oh? so you are into blondes," Claire's smile was cunning. "Let me help you,"

"No. Bad Claire, bad, bad girl. No treats for you tonight." Cara scolded, Stealing the can of beer her friend stole from a guy before cracking it open and downing its contents. She wouldn't yet consider herself drunk, just pleasantly buzzed.

The boy ran off again. Cara felt bad for him and was actually tempted to go up to him instead. His friends kept a steady stream of alcohol into his hand.

"H-hey, " And then he did it, with the help of liquid courage, of course.

For the effort, Cara decided not to openly embarrass him with rejection but not lead him on either. Walking away backward, Claire gave her a thumbs up along with a suggestive motion of the eyebrows, making horrid shapes with her hands. Cara covered her face, hoping to purge the image out of memory. She'll get her back in no time.

Ben was a bit shy at first, but soon they got talking and enjoyed themselves. His hair was a few shades darker and shorter than Wesker's. She didn't have to look up at him as they stood at a similar, comfortable height. Slender and skinny, he would shrink to nothing beside the captain. Cara grimaced, realizing she had been comparing the poor guy to a demon. It wasn't his fault that her mind was occupied with someone way out of her league... the legal kind.

The barn was becoming more and more crowded, and the dancing crowd swallowed them. Sticking out like two sore thumbs, they did their best to dance. Cara felt awkward but seeing the dimples in his smile made her feel better even as it became a tighter fit among the crowd. They had to dance closer lest they got separated.

She wondered what it would feel like to dance with Wesker. He seemed like the sophisticated type. The awkward moves of a teenager would never be adequate for him. Did he ever do anything that was remotely recreational? What do villains even do in their spare time? Manipulating the feelings of underage girls looks like. What stupid, stupid thoughts.

She prayed all these ideas would go away soon, as the thrill of the kiss wore off, and everything went back to normal. Did she want to go back? Why in the world would he like her? she knew who he really was, and he still let her live. Why take the risk with her? she was just a seventeen-year-old. Useless to everyone, with no connections and no money.  

Fuck it. Cara refused to think about Wesker anymore tonight. There was a perfectly alright guy in front of her, someone her own age, someone in her league, someone she wouldn't have to hide. Someone who was looking at her with a soft expression, blinking slowly.

Cara placed her hands on either side of Ben's face and pulled him towards her, connecting their lips. He reacted instantly, kissing her back. His hands awkwardly hovered over her arms before stroking them softly.

He was a nice guy, not a terrible kisser, but she hated it. Hated every touch because it wasn't as good as with Wesker. She couldn't stop comparing, and it was frustrating, spurring her to kiss Ben harder.

She continued, out of spite, to kiss the boy who looked at her with affection. in the background, she heard a few boys cheering, likely his friends. This was wrong, very wrong.

A firm hand gave her waist a painful squeeze before it was gone, and she thought it was Ben. Her eyes flew open as she felt a warm breath by her ear. It wasn't Ben.

"If I was not undercover right now, this lesser specimen of a boy would've made some unforgettable acquaintances a lot sooner. You could've done so much better, yet you have chosen to this..." Wesker seethed by her ear, sending shivers down her spine. Her body froze, but Ben didn't pick up the cue.  Wesker's muscles were tense as he pressed against her back. She could almost hear the exhale through clenched, grinding teeth.

Then he was gone, slipping through the crowd just as he came. No one notices anything. Cara broke the kiss and shoved Ben away. "I'm sorry, it isn't going to work out." She hurried after Wesker, but he was already lost in the crowd.  

She shoved her way through the throngs of people but only managed to find other members of STARS in civilian clothes. None seemed to notice or recognize her. They must've been here on undercover work, but why? she put that question aside as there were more pressing things to worry about.

She felt sick and wanted to throw up, but nothing was coming up. she burst through the doors of the suffocatingly hot bran, raking her hands through her hair. The cool night air hit her heated skin, but she couldn't find relief. She wanted to be swallowed by the ground.

She needed to find Wesker. But then what? Apologize? Apologize for making her own choices? They weren't a couple.

She continued to look for him nevertheless. She walked further from the barn towards an old car junkyard. She thought perhaps a fuming man would need some privacy. A strong feeling in her gut told her this was the right way.

Cara walked far enough from the party that the music was nothing but a distant noise. It was dark and quiet, the perfect place for an assault. If Wesker decided to murder her, no one would find her for at least a week, stuffed in the trunk of a car. If ever.  

Grabbed from behind, she was thrown against a car. Sliding to the ground, she cradled her aching arm, squinting in the dark to see her assailant. Wesker kneeled beside her, his civilian clothes dark and expensive.

"Why cut it short? You should've kissed him more while you still can because he will be the last boy you will ever kiss." squeezing her cheeks harshly, he dragged his thumb with heavy pressure over the flesh of her lips, still swollen from kissing Ben.

As Wesker let go of her face, she felt the cold muzzle of a gun pressing against her temple. Her heart skipped a beat, but she glared at him straight in the eye. Daring.

"I don't know what you want from me! You told me to keep out of trouble, and I did. Yet here we are," Cara lied. She knew what he wanted but didn't know why he wanted it.

"Were my intentions not clear enough? Do I have to spell it out for you? But I suppose intelligence was never your strength,"

Wesker pressed the gun harder against her temple, her glare unwavering. "Go ahead. Shoot me. why do you even bother?"

Neither moved, naked eyes locked with no shades between. Cara reached up and pulled the gun out of his hands with ease. He didn't resist, glaring at her with a tense jaw. Looking down, she almost laughed, seeing the safety was still on. This man couldn't bring himself to kill her. It was all a show of intimidation, and she wasn't falling for it. Not anymore.

As she made to stand, his hand pushed her down. Thinking he wanted the gun back, she returned it to his hand and tried to stand. again, he pushed her down. "Can I get up now?" she scowled, staring up at him.

Things happen too quickly for her to process. The hands on Cara's shoulder grabbed her legs, lifting her off the ground as Wesker wrapped her legs around him before slamming her against the car. She was winded, gasping for breath as he watched her with a smirk. She grabbed his arms, digging her nails into his defined muscles.

"You're up now," he whispered before his lips kissed her neck, sucking and nibbling the skin. A moan escaped her lips, and she covered her mouth immediately.

Grabbing both her hands, he pinned them against the car. "I need to clean your mouth of all traces of that boy,"

"Are you going to rinse my mouth with soap or something? This is childish and-" Cara's words settled in a moan as Wesker began grinding a very defined length against her growing sickness. She tightened her legs around his waist, drawing him closer.

Trailing his nose across her skin, he followed the curve of her neck to the ear, taking the lobe between his teeth. She melted against him when his hot tongue entered her ear. His tongue plunged in and out repeatedly like a preview of what he could do to her. Her heart went on an overdrive.

"Just kiss me," Cara breathed, a tension building in her belly. She wanted to taste him. in addition to sparing any additional marks on her neck to hide.

"No,” nuzzling into her neck, he grinded harder against her, earning a series of moans.  

"You know who else wouldn't mind kissing me-" Wesker slammed his lips to hers, kissing her roughly, their teeth clashing. Cara melted further, a smile on her lips as her tongue danced with his. She savored everything, The taste of him, softness of his lips, his warmth, and the building friction between their bodies. There was nothing more she wanted.

Bang. Bang. Bang. Three gunshots were fired.

Cara was barely steady on her feet when Wesker dropped her to the ground, his eyes scanning their surroundings. What little they heard of the music was drowned out by distant screams of the partygoers.

"What's happening?" she questioned, grabbing his arm, but his attention was fixed on the barn.

"Stay here," Wesker warned, already talking to someone by an earpiece she hadn't noticed before.

With his gun ready, he took off, running towards the barn. Cara made to follow him but was pulled back towards the car by her hand.

The fucker handcuffed and left her in the middle of a junkyard in the dark.

[another-miracle]

#4: We slept in the same bed for space reasons but now we’re just waking up and there’s something about your bleary eyes and mussed hair

“Well then!” Obi says, arms crossed behind his head as he watches Miss pull Eisetsu to his feet. “I guess we’re all agreed to return to the estate, hm?”

Eisetsu nods solemnly. Beside him, Miss dusts off her cloak before looking at him expectantly. Obi turns to Tsuruba who clears his throat at the attention.

“It seems that returning to our place of lodging may not be the wisest decision,” Tsuruba tells them. “For all we know, the people after Eisetsu may be scouring the area in search of him. And from what you’ve shared, it seems we’ll need to make haste towards the Rugalia Estate.” 

He points slightly northward, in the opposite direction from where they came from. “I saw an inn earlier while I was scouting out for your assailants. We could spend the night there.”

The journey to the inn is uneventful, Eisetsu and Obi walking quietly behind the other two. From the corner of his eye, Obi can tell that the tension from the conversation prior has not completely worn off judging by how Eisetsu’s shoulders are raised, how his arms are wrapped defensively around his body. Sighing, he grudgingly claps a hand on Eisetsu’s back. The man looks up at him, startled, and Obi attempts a kind smile - which probably ended up looking like a grimace. Nevertheless, it serves its intended purpose and Eisetsu smiles back, hands dislodging from their place at his elbows. Obi pats his back again for good measure and they continue their journey to their accommodation.

At the inn, Eisetsu and Tsuruba take the lead in speaking to the innkeeper while Obi hangs back with his Miss. She nudges him briefly, eyes sparkling. “This feels like that time when we had to stay at an inn with Zen and the gang.”

“Yeah, only now we’ll need to keep our guards up quite a lot more.” Obi thinks back to how it was unsaid for Mister to take up watch while the rest of them visited the baths. “Miss Kiki and Mister really spoiled us, didn’t they?”

Miss hums in agreement, mouth quirking to the side.  She leans a little into him and Obi has to resist the urge to place a hand on her head. She must miss them, he thinks. 

“-need lodging for four people,” Eisetsu’s voice rings out. “And towels and robes to spare, if you please.”

The innkeeper frowns slightly. “Ah, we’ve lodging for four - but only two rooms with a bed each. Assuredly they are large enough to hold two though! And towels and whatnot will be provided as paid.”

Their party looks at one another. Eisetsu turns back to the innkeeper.

“That’s fine,” he states. Tsuruba visibly tenses and Obi almost does a double-take. “Wait wait hold up hold up- Eisetsu-dono, let’s review the sleeping arrangements?”

Eisetsu huffs, fringe flying. “What’s the problem? Tsuruba-dono and I can share one room, and the two of you can share the other.” 

“Ah,” Tsuruba starts. “Um-”

“Bahh, you saved my life,” Eisetsu states, flicking his ponytail behind him. “There’s no reason for me to remain suspicious of you.”

“And us?” Obi bites out in annoyance. 

“What’s wrong? You didn’t have a problem being in the same room at the estate? If I recall, the rooms only had one bed - and assuredly, they were not meant to fit two.”

Obi feels Tsuruba’s gaze settle heavily on him and cold sweat begins to form at his brow. Ah, he thinks. He knows about the understanding between Master and Miss.

Just as Obi begins to sputter out the truth, Miss interrupts. “Y-yes! We did that! It’s fine - Obi, shall we? It’s been a long night, and-” Miss yawns, an obvious feint- “wow, I’m absolutely smashed!”

She waves them goodnight and walks off. Obi stares after her, mouth ajar. He turns back to the two, then back to his Miss’ retreating back. Caught between the need to explain everything, and following her up, he manages a, “I-need to protect- Miss!” before stumbling off after her. Obi briefly catches Tsuruba’s gaze sliding off them and Eisetsu waving his hand to shoo him off. Obi’s face feels terribly hot.

He quickly catches up with Miss and glares down at her, hoping that his eyes will communicate his absolute incredulity at the situation. What is she thinking?! Doesn’t she know the implications of what she’d suggested? 

Of course, Miss remains blissfully unawares, happily stopping outside their room, unlocking the door and wandering inside. Obi takes one look into the corridor before closing the door behind them.

Turning back, Obi sees Miss taking off her robe and placing it on the back of a nearby chair. Her hair falls out of the hood to frame her face, the ends curling slightly at her chin. Obi rubs an exasperated hand down his face. God, may he survive the night here.

Throwing his hands in the air, Obi exclaims, “Miss, we’ve no need to keep up with the ruse! At this point, I’m sure we can trust Eisetsu enough with the true nature of our relationship! He probably wasn’t serious with his advances on you anyway, judging by his story.”

Miss tilts her head, a thoughtful pout on her face. “Is there a need to tell him though? I feel like it may only cause more misunderstandings.”

“More- Miss, Eisetsu thinks we’re together! You’re promised to the Second Prince of the country! How is that not already a misunderstanding!”

“Well,” Miss begins to fold her cloak. “We did stay in the same room at his estate. If anything, that whole series of events was a consequence of being promised to said-prince. And the continuation of the ruse was to also hide the fact that Zen showed up at the estate - which, Eisetsu still has no knowledge about.”

Miss turns to him then, arms crossed, and Obi does not like that look. “Are we to tell Eisetsu that the Second to the Crown was traipsing around his estate with him unawares? He’s already told us how sensitive he is about his reputation. Think about what telling him would do to the poor man.”

“But-” Obi starts. Miss raises an eyebrow. 

Obi wants to scream. 

“Fine,” Obi concedes. “But if we’re meant to share the bed, I’m taking the left side.”

Miss smiles, triumphant.

---

“Obi?” 

“Yes, Miss?”

“Are you awake?”

A sigh- “I am now. What is it?”

Obi turns and finds Miss much closer than he anticipated. Alarmed, he shifts to the edge of his side of the bed and props his head on his hand, elbow pressing into the pillow. Miss seems to ignore his ministrations and looks deep in thought. Obi waits. 

“Obi,” she calls softly. “What did you think of Eisetsu’s story about Lady Kageya?”

Humming, Obi leans back and moves his arm behind his head. He stares at the ceiling. What did he think? 

“It’s...rather tragic, isn’t it?” Obi speaks slowly. He doesn’t say that their tale sounds eerily familiar. Doesn’t say that it rubs him the wrong way. Doesn’t say that it sounds an awful lot like what may happen- has happened- to his mistress and master. “Seems like Eisetsu really took a hit. Both in his relationship with Kageya and with his father.”

Obi lowers his gaze and watches as Miss’ fist clenches into the bedsheets, her face ducking behind the blankets. Staring at the crown of her head, red cascading over white, he laments at how in another life, Master and Miss may have it easier - an existence together - without all this talk of reputation, of titles, of rumors. It is a simple life he wishes for them; and it is a simple life they cannot have.

Obi offers what he can. “Miss, don’t worry,” he tells her with a soft smile. Lightly, he touches her fingers clasped tightly around white. She looks up at him, eyes teary. Obi’s heart breaks.

“Master will not forsake you like that.” His finger comes up to wipe away the tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. “You are worth- so much more than reputation. Lest he send you away with coin, perish the thought.”

Obi hears Miss breathe in shakily. A part of Obi breaks for the two; years of memories apart, and miles and miles exist between them. Yet- yet. Another part of Obi seethes. He is incensed at the insecurity spurred and left to fester in his Miss by the reality of it all, and by the lack of assurance Master gives her. It’s one thing to allow the other space to work towards their goals. It’s another to entirely ignore the other, only corresponding through a middleman (he’s seen too many letters signed off by Mister), and turning up only to jeopardize said-goal. 

Miss buries her face deeper into the pillow, shoulder shaking. Exhaling heavily, Obi slots his arm under her and cradles her to him. Wet droplets immediately hit Obi’s skin at his neck and Obi tightens his hold on her.

“Shh...it’s okay. You’ll be fine.” Miss’ arms wind around his torso and she grips him hard. Obi’s hand comes up to stroke the back of her head. “Both of you will be, for sure.”

----

Dawn breaks. Obi’s eyelids are crusty and his eyes are just refusing to open. Not when it is so warm and lovely, and Obi just wants to ignore the light pouring into the room. Turning away from the window, he throws his arm over Miss, wrapping his body around hers. She whines a little, and Obi chuckles slightly behind closed lids, bending down to brush his lips against her fringe. 

A few seconds pass. Immediately, Ob’s brain wakes up and he shoots himself to the edge of the bed, short of falling off. Eyes wide, he stares, affronted, at his two hands positioned awkwardly in front of him, away from what isn’t his. 

Miss shifts and Obi freezes. Her eyebrows scrunch up at the sun rays and she buries her head deeper into the sheets. 

“Too bright,” she whines. Obi’s arms fall back onto the bed and he laughs. He pulls slightly at the blanket to reveal Miss pouting cutely, hair mussed in different directions. Suddenly, Obi’s chest feels too tight.

“Good morning, Miss,” Obi says, too soft.

Miss whines again and cracks open one eye to stare him unamused. Obi huffs out a laugh. She exhales roughly and props herself up with two hands on the pillow. Obi looks up at her as she rubs a fist over her eye, hand then stretching back behind her with a yawn. Her entire body slumps and she looks down at him again. With bleary eyes, she smiles down at him, dimples and all.

“Good morning, Obi,” Miss greets him, just as soft.

Obi’s legs immediately hit the floor. He turns away so fast he almost has whiplash. Something like this - this soft, vulnerable thing - isn’t meant for his eyes, isn’t meant for people like him. 

With his back to her, Obi states mechanically, “We should start getting ready. If it’s already this bright, Eisetsu and Tsuruba would be waiti-”

A touch at his hand and Obi pauses. Warily, he turns to Miss and is anguish to note that Miss looks as wonderful and angelic as she did moments ago. She tugs slightly at his wrist and Obi just follows, facing her fully. Her fingers play with his, intertwining and brushing against his palm, and Obi is just- burning. Soaking up all the warmth she offers, but just- incinerating on the inside.

“Thank you,” she tells him, squeezing gently. “For being here. With me.”

Obi’s heart lurches. His face has never felt so hot. Play it off, his mind screams. Play it off, play it off, play it off! And desperate, Obi completely bypasses the voice in his head and brings her fingers to his lips. He looks up at his Miss’ face, as red as her hair, and sees her lips forming into a pleased smile. Inch by inch, Obi reels back his heart, offered on a platter for the taking, and swallows down his unadulterated adoration for the woman in front of him. He sets her hand down, smiles, and finally pays heed to the shouting in his mind.

“For you and Master,” he says. For you, he doesn’t say. “Anytime.”

[yukipri]

Marco’s Bauble Part 8 - a One Piece Mermaid AU Text Story

Another update for Tumblr!

This work goes by On the Courtship of Monkey D. Luffy on AO3, and I’ll be updating over there tonight as well!

A quick question....do people like reading the updates here on Tumblr? Or now that it’s on AO3, would people prefer to read there? And if so, would you be okay waiting for new updates until AO3 catches up? I’m a little torn because I’m not sure if people are enjoying reading on here, and it’s quite a hassle to format for Tumblr, and it’s getting a bit difficult for me to juggle updating these stories on 3 separate platforms...

ANYWAY, in this update, Thatch has some Thoughts, and there is mention of Ace x Luffy.

Continues off of, and should be read after:

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 1

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 2

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 3

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 4

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 5

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 6

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 7

~~

What are her 3 sizes?

(For the wedding dress, of course.)

"The fuck! Like I'd tell you!" Thatch roars, startling the blue gull into momentarily leaping off the rail, before it circles back, landing again to peck at his  sleeve to express its displeasure. Thatch ignores it, because he's fuming.

So apparently all of his and Koala's secret debates over whether Marco intentionally proposed or not were for naught, because here's the fucking evidence. And it comes from Izo of all people, because Thatch would recognize that lopsided handwriting anywhere (the man insists that his handwriting is beautiful in his native language of Wano, but he never quite got used to writing any other way).

And well, if Izo, an unrelated third party but professional snooper knows, then Marco himself must know.

And apparently, they're already planning a wedding.

Thatch feels like an idiot. He'd been defending Marco against Koala, and the lil Revolutionary was a tough opponent, one he'd had to chase out of the kitchen with a ladle more than once when he was tired of her word games. Thatch had insisted, like a fool, that no Marco's not that kind of guy, he really isn't the type to play with people's emotions, he would never propose for a joke, nor would he do it seriously without good reason. It must all be an accident, a little misunderstanding, Marco was just ignorant like Thatch himself was!

Except, apparently he did know and it wasn't an accident, and now Thatch feels completely lost because he doesn't know what Marco's thinking at all. Marco, who's not just his his first friend on the Moby, but arguably his best friend; Marco, his brother over several decades; Marco, who Thatch thought he knew better than anyone, except perhaps Pops himself...

Thatch's also pissed, because if Marco wants to start drama after they all reunite and he's introduced to Luffy, that's one thing (not that that would be great either). But right now, they're still near the beginning of Paradise with almost half the circumference of the world to go until even the halfway point, and Marco is WAY on the other side of the Red Line. If this ship explodes in flames or whatever that batshit Revolutionary brother might do, Mister First Division Commander is completely unaffected, but there are plenty of innocents here (like hello! Thatch!) who would find that pretty devastating.

Also, Thatch was the one who passed on that gift to Luffy! Even if he didn't know what it meant at the time...doesn't that make Thatch complicit? And even if not, Marco's strongest connection here is clearly Thatch. If Marco's actions cause chaos, then the blame and responsibility to clean up the mess naturally falls upon Thatch. Which, he definitely did not sign up for.

Pops, Thatch thinks miserably, I thought I was supposed to show them they can depend on us Whitebeards, NOT that us Whitebeards will fuck shit up for them...

But more than anything, there's a shocking large part of Thatch that absolutely balks at just the idea of Luffy getting married. And it's shocking because Thatch shouldn't feel this upset.

Marco, for all the complaints Thatch wants to hurl at him at the moment, is still a really great guy. A guy who, in literally any other situation, Thatch would be the first in line to enthusiastically encourage, and also to congratulate.

And sure, Thatch knows he has a crush, and his little Seastar's carving out a larger home for herself in his heart by the day, but--Thatch admittedly has crushes a lot. Sure, this one feels different, but...Marco, to his knowledge, has never had a romantic crush. He only sometimes but very rarely even has a night out, and Thatch doesn't think he's ever held a relationship longer than three encounters. He's always so serious, so diligent, so sincerely and whole-heartedly dedicated to Pops and his family. He almost never does anything selfish for himself, and Thatch would know.

If, for whatever reason, Marco is genuinely serious about Luffy...then Thatch should, and would, step to the side, regardless of personal feelings. If this is the path Marco wants, then he deserves it, and Thatch will always be the first to say it, no matter how craptastic the circumstances. And Thatch knows that Marco would give his bride the world.

Without them even having met, Thatch doesn't doubt for a second that Marco would make Luffy happy, till the end of her days.

The fact that Thatch knows all this, yet still feels near unbearable reluctance...says more than he's willing to admit.

And so he decides to avoid thinking about the most obvious reason (his own feelings), and instead contemplates his second very compelling reason: Ace.

His littlest brother isn't so great at being honest with himself, and never has. But this, Thatch feels, isn't just a matter of denial.

The boy literally has no clue.

Oh sure, Ace knows he loves his little brother. He makes sure everyone else knows it too, both here on the Merry and back on the Moby once he opened up enough to talk to people. He's so damn proud of her, yet also concerned for her, while also trusting her with his life and more. It's clear to anyone who sees them together that he absolutely adores her.

But it's more than that, isn't it, Thatch thinks. It's in the little gestures, the way Ace raises his arm up without looking at her and she slides under it, also without needing to look at him. It's the casual way they lace their fingers together, like it's nothing, when they're snoozing out on the deck. It's the way sometimes they have unspoken conversations, just staring into each others eyes, before moving forward in synch to meet in the middle to bump their foreheads together in some secret mutual understanding.

It's the reason why Sanji, for all his extravagant flirting, knows when to shut up and return to being a normal human (and, Thatch grudgingly admits, this applies to himself too). It's why Zoro never lets his gaze linger more than two seconds longer than it needs to (but he'll always take those two seconds), why Nami always looks like she wants to sit closer but doesn't, why Koala hasn't said anything when she's probably usually a much more proactive flirter.

Everyone on their crew can see it, except the two in question.

Ace, Thatch thinks, heaving a huge sigh as he looks down at the crumpled note from Izo in his palm. Little brother, you are so fucking in love.

It might not necessarily be romantically. It's certainly not particularly sexually, if Ace's lack of reaction to Lu's aggressive physical smothering is any indication. It could very possibly be platonically.

But either way, there's no room for Sanji, nor Zoro, nor the girls, nor even Thatch himself...at least, until those two figure that out.

Until then, everyone aboard the Merry is here because they love and respect their captains. No one would dare encroach on something so special, yet so potentially immature, not yet ready to be dragged out to be recognized.

Thatch knows Ace has known Luffy for years, he practically raised her. But he was also away at sea for three years. Luffy was a child when he left; she's an adult now.

Thatch once asked him if she had changed at all since he last saw her (Ace most certainly had, according to Deuce). And Ace looked blank, then horribly confused, before saying No...but also, yeah, I guess. Thatch understands; Ace isn't used to not knowing something about Luffy. And something...something had changed.

That something might very well be the thing that needs to be figured out. And for that, Ace hasn't had much time yet, since reuniting with Luffy. Only as much time as the rest of them, in fact. And they deserve time to figure that out, and as the two captains' loving crew, the ASL pirates have an unsaid agreement to watch over them...at least until they have.

(After that, Thatch thinks grimly, it might be open game.)

But of course, there's also the question of Luffy herself, and as much as she's the heart of the ASL Pirates, she's also an enigma. Thatch, for all that he adores her and honestly wants more with her, genuinely has a hard time imagining her as anything but clueless as someone's romantic partner (he's carefully not thinking about anything sexual). It very well may be that the whole "figuring out" that she and Ace have to do...ends up being nothing. And that's fine as well.

Either way, as much as Thatch loves him, there's no way that any of them here on board the Merry will stand to let Marco shatter this delicate...whatever it is that's going on between their captains, that the rest of them are so patiently respecting. Even if it ends up continuing indefinitely.

As strained as it can feel at times, they're comfortable like this. There's the little spark of joy when Seastar gives him a little extra attention, a little burn when Sanji kisses her hand, but comfort in the stability that no one will go any further. If anything it's a nice little spice to their daily lives, just the right amount, and not enough ruin the dish so to speak. This is fine.

Except, that there's just one teeny little problem...

"What did the blue gull bring you today, Commander?"

Thatch doesn't jump, because he's not an amateur and did realize that the Revolutionary was approaching, but perhaps later than he should have. Damn the kid's good at hiding his presence, and Thatch wonders if he'd have noticed at all if Sabo was being serious.

"Just a stupid request from a stupid brother," Thatch says cheerfully as he turns around to face Sabo. The boy isn't even trying to hide his curiosity, his gaze pinned to Thatch's hand.

Thatch contemplates chucking the letter into the sea, but then he realizes he isn't sure Sabo wouldn't just dive after it, and as a devil fruit user, Thatch wouldn't be able to stop him from reading it underwater.

So he casually uncurls his fingers, watches Sabo visibly perk up--before Thatch opens a black hole in his palm, letting the crumpled paper get sucked into the void.

(Perhaps he should be using his power as more than a secure second dimension pocket expansion, but hey, so far it hasn't been so helpful in the kitchen.)

Sabo sags and sulks, rather cutely, Thatch thinks. "You coulda let me see it," he pouts, looking up at Thatch with an expression uncannily like Luffy's. Fuck.

"Collecting intel, Chief?" Thatch winks, expertly hiding his horror that for a moment, he'd actually been tempted. Little sneak.

"Perhaps." Something slightly manic enters his gaze, and alright, that's nothing like Seastar, not so cute after all...

"Nice try, but it's a personal family thing, can't really share," Thatch says, and it's not really a lie.

Sabo grunts, letting it go, before his gaze flicks to the gull, who still has a beakful of Thatch's sleeve. "It waiting for something?"

Thatch sighs. "Yeah, yeah, my response, which I should probably give..." Because, right, Thatch needs to send a message back to the Moby, even if no, he isn't going to answer Izo's idiotic question.

Which, is actually a fine excuse to extract himself from this situation.

"So, sorry, the response also is personal, hope you don't mind," Thatch nods, and Sabo easily opens the way for him--which, Thatch belatedly realizes, he'd actually been blocking. Scary, little Chief, scary...

"Sorry, didn't mean to pry." Sabo sounds genuinely apologetic, and tips his hat at Thatch as he passes by, and Thatch inwardly heaves a massive sigh of relief. "I'm working on it, but I know I can get a little...pushy, when it comes to things that involve my baby brother."

Thatch continues to walk away.

But inside...

Oh. Yikes, he thinks.

~~

Thatch is in the privacy of the currently empty men's sleeping room beneath the deck, and has just finished writing and giving instructions and bribes to the gull when the hatch creaks open.

"Thatch, we're in trouble," Koala announces as she stomps down the stairs, making her sneaky opening of the door rather pointless.

"I noticed," Thatch says dryly.

Koala pales. "He didn't break any of your toes, did he?!"

"What."

"Well, you're a cook, you make food Luffy likes with your hands," Koala shrugs. "Just wanted to make sure."

"What the fuck."

"I don't think he will! You're Luffy and Ace's crew, and you're a Whitebeard pirate, but..."

Thatch groans. "I already thought your Chief might be trouble, but holy shit I didn't know he was that batshit."

"He might not be!" Koala sounds defensive, but it's not particularly comforting. "He's usually reasonable, kind of, but since his memories came back..."

Thatch throws up his arms. "So, how'd he get it out of you?"

Koala flushes. "I didn't say anything!"

"Sure."

"It's not my fault that Sabo's a damn--!"

There's a loud knock, before the hatch flings open, and Ace pops his head in. "Hey Thatch! What's for snack--"

"NOT AGAIN!" Koala cries.

At the same time, Thatch shouts, "IN A SECOND!"

Either way, the hatch slams shut with a, "SORRY!"

Thatch and Koala stare at each other with their hearts beating uncomfortably rapidly.

They slowly heave a slow sigh of relief as the tension drains.

"I really need to apologize to Ace," Thatch mutters.

"I really need to work on my Observation Haki," Koala groans.

"HEY THATCH, I WANT A SNACK," Luffy shouts, and Thatch and Koala's heads whip around in horror, only to sag with relief at seeing that Luffy's not in the room, but only for a second--

--because after that second, a mermaid's crashing through the hatch, ripping it from its hinges as she slams, hatch and all, into Thatch's chest.

The room fills with dust and debris, and there are shouts outside.

Koala gingerly peers into the wreckage where Thatch is now buried in the wall, a terrified blue gull  perched on her shoulders peering alongside her, its claws digging through the fabric of her shirt.

"We're fine," Thatch coughs, peering down to make sure he'd successfully caught and shielded Luffy from damage, even as he peels himself from the wood. Luffy seems unharmed, though her eyes are wide; she clearly hadn't expected to do quite this much.

"...Armament?" Koala asks, noticing how the back of Thatch's hair is black from where it's fanned around him.

"Armament," Thatch agrees, keeping the entire back of his body coated until he's safely pulled himself and Luffy, still in his arms, away from any sharp wood.

"Sorry, Thatch," Luffy says, not particularly apologetic, if anything sort of curious. She peels herself back from his chest, scritching her cheek while looking down at what was once the hatch to the mens room that had shattered between them. She then reaches back to tug at Thatch's black locks, and oohs when they fade back to auburn.

"No worries, just make sure to make it up to Deuce and Usopp when they have to fix this," Thatch sighs, before grinning, letting his arms fall away from Luffy once he knows she has a secure grip on his shoulders. He then begins carding his fingers through her hair to make sure no splinters got in, and likewise dusting off the front of her vest, taking care not to let his touch linger. Luffy nods frantic agreement, more like rubs her head into his palm, and Thatch feels his heart skip a beat.

Koala sighs.

"Hey Thatch, what's this?"

Thatch blinks, then inwardly curses.

Luffy's holding Izo's crumpled piece of paper. His control of his power's still shoddy, and it must have accidentally spat it back out in the commotion.

Please, don't be able to read that, he prays. He luckily doesn't have much confidence in Luffy's reading abilities.

"It says 'what are her three sizes.' What are those?"

In the background, Koala slowly raises her fist.

~~

A few days later, Marco's scouting when a blue gull rapidly approaches him.

Delivery! it squawks. Delivery for you, Boss, and don't show Izo! Don't show Izo! Don't show Izo or the bread man will be mad!

Thank you, noted, friend, Marco responds, and catches the note from Thatch in mid air.

The gull trills acknowledgement, then wheels away to rejoin its brethren, while Marco changes course for the nearest island, a safe forest haven in Pops's territory, still a ways away from the Moby. It's uninhabited, save for the wildlife, and it would be good to land once before returning home anyway.

Marco lands lightly on the tallest and oldest tree on the island, from where he can survey the island of pure greenery, and the endless blue stretching beyond. The branch he's chosen looks deceptively thin, but he already knows it can support his human weight, which is why he shifts, passing the note from his claw to his hand before completing his transformation.

Marco frowns. The other Commanders (and to be honest, the entire crew) have been acting a bit strange recently, but for Thatch, who isn't even on board with them, to also be in on it...

True, this may or may not be related to that at all. But still.

Marco feels like he's missing something.

Marco, Thatch's message starts, and Marco already knows it's going to be serious because it didn't start with a jibe at his appearance.

Marco, I think I'm actually serious about her. Thoughts, brother?

Her, meaning the Ace's little brother, the mermaid girl.

If Marco remembers correctly, in Thatch's first note back to him, he'd written, She's stolen my heart, I think I want to marry her.

Marco had assumed Thatch was joking at the time, or just light-heartedly flirting, as he always did. Marco's used to hearing Thatch spew these kinds of words, and he'd taken it to mean that the girl's exceptionally Thatch's type, but hadn't thought further.

The words had made him remember a little trinket he'd had stored in a chest at the back of his closet, one he'd received from an elderly couple on Fishman Island around two decades ago...

But that's not important now, Marco thinks, focussing on Thatch's message.

In all his years of flings and casual relationships and jokingly asking ladies (and some gents) Won't you marry me...Thatch has not once asked for Marco's opinion. He's certainly had plenty of opinions himself about whether someone would be a potential good match for Marco, which Marco always ignored. But Thatch has never asked Marco about matches for himself.

Thatch really is serious.

Marco finds himself slowly smiling. "Finally, you sap," he murmurs, though no one hears him but the other birds in the trees around him.

He knows he ought to think more about what to say, but the answer is so obvious that Marco takes Thatch's note, and carefully tears the paper so that his brother's words aren't damaged. Gently tucking Thatch's note into his pocket, Marco pulls out a pen for the remaining small blank strip of paper.

Shortly afterwards, two birds depart from the island, in opposite directions: one, a phoenix, wings burning cyan against the clear skies, and the other, a blue gull headed to Paradise.

~~

~~

~~

Part 9, things start Moving as Sabo confronts Ace.

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! And again, please do let me know if you actually like reading the story here on tumblr or not >.<;

As always, any comments are immensely appreciated and help motivate me to create more for this AU! ;A;

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

~This ask has been added to the Mermaid AU Text Headcanons Compilation post~

[thebadgerclan]

Your Kiss

Pairing: Remus Lupin x reader (Marauders Era)

Requested by Anonymous

Summary: The first kiss of many...

You stood in the stands of the quidditch pitch, next to your boyfriend of 6 weeks, his hand wrapped around yours.  Remus Lupin wore a dopey smile, and it had nothing to do with the fact that Gryffindor was kicking Hufflepuff’s ass.  He had never been happier than he’d been these past 6 weeks with you, Remus was head over heels in love with you.  He looked at you, the wind ruffling your hair, the smile on your face, the way your eyes sparkled, he was completely enamored with you.  

Gryffindor scored another goal, and everyone cheered.  Remus put an arm around you, gently pulling you into his side.  You looked up at him and smiled, taking the hand that wasn’t around your shoulders and squeezing it.  As the match went on, dark grey clouds rolled in, obscuring the sun.  Thunder rumbled briefly before the skies opened up, rain beginning to pour down, soaking everyone at the match to the bone within seconds.

You shrieked as the rain drenched your clothes, the water chilling your skin.  Remus laughed, pulling you a bit tighter into his side.  Very few people were leaving the stands, far too invested in the match to be bothered by a little rain.  Well, a lot of rain, it was coming down quite hard now.  Remus looked at you, and you looked at him, eyes locking on his chocolate ones.  The pair of you gazed intently at one another, no words being spoken, but the love between the two of you palpable.

Remus was leaning forward, you were leaning forward; it was impossible to say who initiated it, but when Remus’ lips were on yours, one hand on the small of your back, the other on the base of your skull, fingers winding through your damp hair, it didn’t matter who did.  Remus was kissing you like his life depended on it, holding you flush against him as the rain fell, heart bursting with love for you.  You had one hand resting on his chest, the other coming to snake around his neck, pulling him even closer to you.

The noise of the match, of the crowd, of the rain, of everything faded away as you kissed him.  If Gryffindor scored any more, or Hufflepuff scored for that matter, neither of you heard, too wrapped up in each other’s arms, too focused on the feeling of the other’s lips.  Remus’ kiss  conveyed a million unsaid emotions, how much he loved and treasured you, and how beautiful he knew you were, all without a single word.  Your kiss said much the same, and after what felt like both a single second and several eternities, you pulled back.  Or Remus pulled back; once again, it wasn’t clear.

You couldn’t fight the smile that made its way onto your face, and even if you could, you wouldn’t have wanted to.  Remus wore a similar expression, both of his hands coming to rest on your hips, yours resting on his biceps.  The rain was still coming down, but for the joy in your heart, it could have been the sunniest day.  “I love you,” Remus said, loud enough to be heard over the roar of the crowd and the rain, but quiet enough so only you could hear.  “I love you so much, Y/N.”  Your heart skipped a beat as you realized that Remus had not only just kissed you for the first time, but he’s also told you he loves you for the first time too.

“Remus,” you said, heart hammering.  “I love you too.  Merlin, I love you!”   You went up on your tiptoes, kissing him again.  Remus stooped so you could stand comfortably, arms wrapping snugly around your torso.  Kissing Remus felt like coming home after a long day, like a warm cup of coffee on a cold December morning, like...the only thing you wanted to do for the rest of your life.  You weren’t sure how long you were kissing Remus, but you were drawn out of your bubble of bliss by James’ shouting.

 “Oi!  I’m glad you two are happy, but when you’re done snogging, there’s a party in the common room!”  Both of you turned to look at James, seeing the Snitch fluttering in his hand.  Laughing, you turned back to Remus, and he to you, and you kissed him again.  “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of kissing you,” Remus whispered against your lips, rubbing up and down your back, and you smiled, leaning into him.  “Me neither, Remus.”  He kissed you yet again before pulling back.  Remus wrapped an arm around you before conjuring an umbrella and casting a drying charm on both of your clothes.  “Come on, love let’s get up to the party, shall we?”

[simplyswooningk]

Fanfiction Teaser!!! Chapter 1 of “The One”

The One

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Ron and Hermione:

Premise: Eight years after the war, two years after a dramatic and mysterious breakup, Ron and Hermione are thrown togethere when he returns home to prepare for his wedding. Confronted with her own feelings, Hermione dares to ask herself the question, “If One Thing Would’ve Been Different, Would Everything Be Different Today?

                          “I’m doing good, I'm on some new shit.”

The invitation burned in her hand in almost the same way the Geminio-cursed gold in Bellatrix Lestrange’s vault did. After it had it read itself, she reread it nearly six times before it had registered in her mind.

To own the truth, Hermione Granger was not used to such a brain fog. But that thin piece of paper seemed to stop her mind in its track. It was now hovering over her desk, almost taunting her.

Her eyes glanced over it again, although by now, she knew it by heart:

Mr. & Mrs. Roger and Catherine Forell along with Mr. Arthur and Mrs. Molly Weasley joyfully invite you to the wedding of their children

                                Alison Katherine Daphne Forell

                                      ��                &

                                          Ronald Billius Weasley  

                                              25 June 2006  

                                                  2:00 p.m.

                                           Longbottom Castle

                                       Swillington, West Yorkshire  

                               RSVP by owl no later than March 6th.

He was getting married in England.  Why was he not getting married in America with his perfect little American fiancée? No, he had to come back home and do the blessed deed. 

She completely dismissed the notions of his entire family living in England and the row his irrepressible mother would surely throw at the thought of her youngest and most famous son getting married across the pond that deemed his choice of locale all too natural as absolute rubbish.

It was almost as if he wanted to make sure she would not have an excuse to be absent.

Who was she kidding? He probably hadn’t given her a thought in years.

She wasn’t sure she could blame him. But that was all in the past. Their history was all water under the bridge or over the dam or however the expression went. 

It was in the past.

 For a while, she saw the whole thing in her head: the two of them for ever and ever and ever. For a while, so did he. Or so she thought. Or so he thought. They had both believed they were on the same page until they realized that they were not. They absolutely were not.  

They were friends now. Or so they said. Friends spoke to each other. They didn’t, except when they were forced, by some unmissable personal event of some invaluable mutual friend, to be in the same room together. But they were friends.  

There were no hard feelings. They were friends. Or so they said. And she was happy for him. Everything was fine.

She would go. Molly would tan her hide if she didn’t. And they were friends. Friends went to friends’ weddings. Friends were happy for their friends. And she was happy for him.  

Unable to look at it anymore, she snatched the invitation out of the air and placed it into her drawer. Their engagement wasn’t a complete and total surprise. Harry had mentioned months ago that Ron’s relationship had gotten serious.

Good Godric, was there anything worse than having a mutual best friend with your ex? Hermione had endured torture and, in that moment, she honestly would’ve preferred it.

It was hard to believe that eight years had passed since the war. It was hard to believe than it had been six since the Breakup Heard Round the World.  

Oh, no one knew the whole story. Not even Harry. But when two best friends, who had longed harbored secret, yet obvious affection for each other finally got together, the general assumption is that together they would stay.  

Needless to say, when word of their breakup reached their evergreen group of friends, they were shocked.  

But no one was more shocked than the two parties involved. She could never forget how shocked and shaken she felt as she packed. She kept waiting for something to stop her, to wake her up and shake her out of that nightmare.

But nothing did, she’d finished packing.

In all honesty, she should be happy for him. That was what she’d told him the night he had told her he was leaving England: that she was happy for him, although nothing could have been further from the truth.

By then, there was too much said and unsaid for her to protest. An apology had seemed ridiculous on both sides. Now, she wondered if she could’ve stopped him. She wondered if some part of him had wanted her to.

Paris was her home now, or at it least it was where she rested her head.  She was now the Junior English Ambassador to the French Ministry of Magic. It was a position Kinglsey had recommended her for personally.  

Her time there had been lovely, but it was rumored that she was up for a promotion back home. It was the general scuttlebutt that she’d single been singled out to replace the Junior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic for the Regulation of Magical Creatures before the year was out. Kingsley was apparently eager for her to be back in England, working for the greater good.

That had been her life for the past six years: work. She was very proud of all she’d accomplished. While working in France, she’d still managed to be a very loud advocate for magical creatures and the Muggleborn community.

She’d given many speeches, toured all around the world into various magical communities to talk about the treatment of creatures as well as how to better integrate Muggleborns into magical society and help to eliminate the prejudice that reared its ugly head far too many times for her taste.

It had been good, her time in France. She was well on her way to accomplishing everything she’d ever dreamed. Almost.

A knock on her door pulled her from thoughts. “Ms. Granger?” her assistant Elodie Aubin poked her head the through the door. “’Arry Potter for you ma’am.”

Hermione smiled. “Send him in.”

Moments later, in walked Harry Potter with his untamable black hair, glowing green eyes and friendly smile. If they hadn’t been through so much hell together, she honestly believed she could’ve hexed him on the spot.

It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy to see him. She just didn’t want to have the conversation he was there for. And they both knew it.

“Hello Harry,” she said with a smile and a sigh. “Shall I ring for tea?”

Harry removed his Auror cloak, plopped down in the chair opposite hers and shook his head. “Just had a cuppa, thanks. And how are you, Hermione?”

“Lovely, thanks. Is that why you’re here? To inquire of my health and happiness? We both grew up with Muggles. We have phones for that.”  

Harry laughed dryly. “You know, from your tone, I could infer that you’re not happy to see me.”

Hermione smiled. “I’m always happy to see you, Mr. Potter. But I have a feeling this isn’t your regular meeting of salutations.”

Harry laughed again but then his eyes turned serious. “Get your invite, did you?” 

“Is that why you came all the way here? To discuss Ronald’s nuptials?”

“I wanted to check on you.”

She shrugged. “I’m fine. And yes, I got the invitation. Though I must admit, I didn’t expect one.”  

“He’s not one for grudges, Hermione.”

Hermione’s eyebrows nearly leapt off her forehead.

“Anymore,” Harry quickly clarified. “He’s not one for grudges anymore. Besides everyone would love to see you.”  

“I’m sure. But I don’t think—,”

“Hermione, Molly will murder you if you don’t come. And then she’ll murder me for not convincing you.”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Can’t I just make my excuses? Busy with work, blah, blah, blah, the usual?”

“It’s his wedding, Hermione.”

“And I’m his ex. Doesn’t that give me a pass? Must I suffer through this? It was awkward enough at your wedding.”  

“Yes, I remember,” Harry said with a grimace and shake of his head. “But we got through it.”

“Yes, with lots of Firewhiskey and mead.”  

“Well, whatever works.”

“Harry, I just don’t know if it’s a good idea for either of us. It's been a long time, we’ve both moved on. I just don’t think one’s wedding needs a... blast from the past, if you will.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Hermione, stop trying to weasel your way out. No pun intended. Besides, I've one more invitation or rather summons to bring you.”

Hermione started at that. “What?”

“Well, the thing is Ron is on his way to the Burrow as we speak. Molly is having a welcome home dinner in his honor. She told me not to leave without you.”

“What in Merlin’s name is he doing here so soon? The wedding’s not for two months!”

“Apparently there’s a lot to plan, so he’ll be here until the wedding.”

Hemione rolled her eyes. “What could he possibly have to do that Ms. Enchanted Cauldrons USA could not see to herself? And doesn’t he as the Deputy Head of the American Aurors, not to mention President of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes America have better things to do?”  

Hermione noticed that Harry hesitated. “I’m sure he had loads to do. Dinner. At the Burrow. Tonight. You realize you don’t have much choice? Besides, he’s coming by himself. Allie won’t be here till a week before the wedding.”

Hermione’s eyebrows raised at that. There was something Harry wasn’t telling her. There was no one that dressed and carried themselves the way Alison Forell did would leave the majority of the wedding planning up to Ron. But that was conversation for another time.

“What’s Molly up to, anyway? Because if this another reconciliation scheme, I swear Harry—,”

“No, no,” he cut in. “She’s quite over that. She likes Allie. As much as she likes Audrey, I’d say.”  

“Do you like her?”  

Harry shrugged noncommittally. “Haven’t we had this conversation before?”

“Yes. But she was Alison then.”  

Harry rolled his eyes. “She’s nice, Hermione. Anyway, as you said, you’ve both moved on. How's Taron?”  

“He’s good. He's in Sweden at the moment.” Hermione’s boyfriend of nearly nine months was Taron Fruelle. He worked as an undersecretary to the French Minister of Magic. “He’ll be there for the next few weeks.”  

Taron was Muggleborn and highly academic just like her. Their connection had been instant. He had a good sense of humor, was highly proficient in magic and his love of reading almost surpassed her.  

It was the easiest, most comfortable relationship she’d ever been in. They rarely disagreed, they spent most of their free time at rare bookstores or deciphering Ancient Runes. Taron was in Sweden, helping with the renovations of the French Magical Embassy.

Hermione realized after Harry mentioned him that she forgotten to phone him on her lunch break.

“So, is it true Kinglsey will be calling you back to England soon?” Harry said attempting a change of subject after Hermione went quiet for a few moments. “Now that you’ve gathered your diplomatic experience?”

“He hasn’t said either way. I mean, I'd love to be back home. Everyone seems to think so, but he’s been very vague. Typical politician.”

Harry didn’t say anything for a bit and Hermione could tell he was thinking of something, something he was more than likely not going to tell her.

“Are you just going to camp out here until I'm done working and then transport me to the Burrow?”

Harry nodded. “Molly’s orders, my lady. Nothing I can do.”  

Hermione sighed. “Well, who am I to argue with Molly Weasley? Does he know I'm coming?”

Harry nodded. “Ginny’s gonna tell him.”  

Hermione sighed. “Can we stop at the shops and get a bottle of wine before we go?”

Harry smiled. “And a bottle of rum too. Hermione, really, you’re okay with this, aren’t you?” His bright green eyes searched hers.

She smiled, although suddenly she was mentally transported back to Grimmauld Place, crying hysterically, Harry’s arms clasped around her and telling her it would be all right.  

“Harry, I’m fine. It’s all right now. He's moved on, so have I. We’re friends now. We were always friends.”

Harry smiled and she knew that he did not quite believe her. She also knew he would not quite say so.  

“Listen, I’m going go into the city, pick up some French pastry for Ginny. I’ll be back to collect you in a bit?”  

Hermione nodded. “I’ll be off at 5:30.”  

Harry smiled again, that same knowing sympathetic smile he had when he walked in. He wished her a brief adieu before he was off.

He didn’t believe she was fine. He thought she was torn up inside, that deep down, she was still in love with Ron. But she wasn’t. It was over. They had moved on.

Five thirty rolled around and true to his word, Harry arrived to collect her.  

“Should we Floo?” He asked nodding to the fireplace. “I’ve got the wine and rum.”  

Hermione nodded. She took his arm. “It’ll be great to see everyone,” she said with a smile.

“The Burrow,” Harry said scooping up a handful of Floo Powder.

A flash of green and a healthy covering of soot later, Hermione and Harry found themselves in all too familiar parlor. But in a betrayal of familiarity, it was quiet.  

“Gin?” Harry called as they dusted themselves off.  

“Are we early?” Hermione asked looking around.

Harry shook his head. “No, they should’ve all been here by now.”  

The words were barely out of his mouth when a large, incoherent cacophony of voices reached their ears. That sound could only be one thing: a group of Weasleys returning from a Quidditch match.

“Oi! Ginny, next time maybe catch the Snitch,” called George Weasley.  

“Shut your trap, George. Angelina blindsided me and you know it!”

“I did not! You were too busy trying to show off one of those Harpy tricks!”  

Hermione laughed. There was truly no place like the Burrow.

“Hurry and wash up all of you!” came Molly’s nurturing, but demanding voice as the door was thrown open “Ginny, I'll need your help with the treacle tart.”

“Coming Mom,” replied Ginny with a good-natured sigh. “Oh, blimey! Ron, I forgot to tell you—”

“Tell me what?” called a voice that Hermione would know anywhere. And it sounded closer than all the others.  

Familiar footsteps froze her in place. She turned wide-eyed and horrified to Harry who looked equally dazed.  

Ginny was too slow. Before another word could be spoken, Ron Weasley had entered into the parlor. His blue eyes, those ocean blue eyes that she could never stop herself from loving widened instantly. Time was at a standstill.  

Hermione came to two startling realizations simultaneously. One, he had no idea she was coming to dinner. And two, she was still hopeless, helplessly, irretrievably in love with him.  

[thefanficmonster]

Things Left Unsaid

Daniel x Taylor (The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope)

Warnings: Swearing (of course, because Taylor)

Genre: FLUFF

Summary: When Daniel wakes up to find one of his closes girl friends in his bed, snuggled up to him on top of all, in his shirt, on top of that too, he can’t help but admit a thing or two to himself. Too bad he can’t admit it all out loud when the girl’s eyes flutter open.

Requested by my platonic spouse, amazing friend and chaotic fellow cult leader @hopeveon You already know how grateful I am for the request and how sorry I am for not completing it sooner. And you already know how much I love you so ON WITH THE DAYLOR CONTENT! Love, Vy ❤

How did this happen? - Is the first though that passes through a still half-asleep Daniel when he wakes up and finds he’s not tangled in his blankets like he usually is. In fact, the blankets are barely touching him. What little warmth he feels has nothing to do with them, but instead with the other body he appears to be sharing the bed with. The body that just so happens to be snuggled up into his side, head resting on his chest.

The body that has hogged all the blankets.

The second thought, a little less foggy than the previous, comes when said body shifts, causing the blanket to slip and reveal the material of the sleeping attire it’s clad in. That sleeping attire just so happens to be a particularly familiar shirt - his shirt:

Ok, now I gotta now how this happened.

It doesn’t take him a lot of thinking or analyzing to put two and two together and find the identity of the person cuddled up next to him. For starters, he’d never allow anyone else in this position and for seconds - that hair is hard to misidentify.

Taylor

The girl he developed a crush on at the very first glance. The girl he soon sparked a close friendship with - a friendship that he saw as a reason to try an terminate the crush he had on her because he felt it would ruin the amazing connection they had. He was prepared to sacrifice his feelings to keep things between them platonic in fear of losing her completely if he tried to move their relationship up the scale. Problem is, as much as Daniel would like to believe that feelings can so easily be erased, the truth is that the more hits they take the stronger they became. And Taylor hadn’t been helping him much either. Her caring glances, bright smiles, the subtle, probably subconscious touches on his arm. None of that seemed to be as meaningful to her as it was to him, or so he thought.  Daniel would have laughed at himself if he didn’t feel so pathetic - he was the one encouraging his friend Chris to ‘shoot his shot’ and mocked him the countless times he refused and then Taylor entered his life, causing the tables to flip on him.

As time went on though, the tables flipped again and it just so happened to be at a college frat party at the beginning of the year. After two years of friendship, suppressing feelings and desperately trying to beat them out of himself, he was still not the first one to confess anything. A good blow to his ego was that too.

Sitting on the edge of the fountain that was a safe distance away from the fraternity and its chaos, Daniel and Taylor ended up sharing a moment under the starry sky, both way too sober in terms of alcohol, but too drunk on the uncontrollable emotions that were flaring up and spreading throughout them like a wildfire. 

“I feel so childish sometimes.“ She admitted, looking down at her sneakers as she dug the heels of them in the dirt by the fountain, “Always thought I’d grow out of crushes eventually.“

Daniel wasn’t caught off-guard by this, after all, they had been discussing some class gossip to fill in the silence or perhaps to avoid saying something they shouldn’t. The gossip was generally surrounding their classmate Angela and their creative writing professor John, but in all honesty neither of them were interested in it nor did they know a lot about it which is why their conversation ended up straying into personal territory.

“Crushes are not something you grow out of.“ Daniel said in response to that, “They just get easier to deal with. Maybe even easier to confess.“

Taylor shook her head at that, her eyes wide almost as if the statement triggered something in her, “No, no way. They are in no way easier for confessing.”

Despite fully agreeing with this statement, Daniel chooses to play dumb an press the subject further in a teasing manner to cover up just how risky of a topic this is for him, especially when she’s around. “Sounds like you’ve had a personal experience with this struggle. Not one of the brave and the bold, huh?”

“Definitely not! If I were, I would’ve already admitted to you how much I like you.“ She didn’t bother to look at him when she said that, her eyes remained focused on the starry sky above, a small lazy smile playing at her lips.

While she was staring at the stars, the boy sitting next to her was star-struck, head spinning from the sudden confession on her part. He wanted to say something, anything for goodness’ sake! But, alas, he couldn’t. He couldn’t find words in general, let alone the right words to express how he was feeling. Thankfully, humans are more than capable of displaying their emotions through body language as well. 

It’s safe to say Daniel expressed all he felt and more when his lips landed on hers, leading them to share their first kiss in under the moonlight and the shimmering stars while havoc was wreaking less than a block away from them.

After that turning point in their relationship, they have been left in a sort of grey area. You know, the one that’s between platonic and officially romantic. This period that is still the present for the two of them is giving Daniel massive anxieties, doubts, speculations and fears that have kept him sleepless for more nights than he cares to count. He’s never brought it up to Taylor though. Speaking of her, she’s seems rather content, maybe even pleased with their current status of undecided, unlabeled fun. It’s reasonable enough, she was the one to initiate it after all. She said she didn’t like relationships or the label of being someone’s girlfriend, at least not this early on and definitely not in the near future and Daniel respected her view, allowing for their relationship to remain marked with question marks. However, the longer this lasted, the more his intrusive thoughts started to get to him. He’s become apprehensive, overly mindful, doubtful, suspicious and skeptical of every exchange they have. Hell, he hates himself for it but he can’t deny that he’s questioned Taylor’s intentions on more than a few occasions. He knew it was his own fears getting in the way of his rational thinking but he’s only human, he couldn’t help himself.

Taylor didn’t exactly specify why she didn’t want this relationship to be official. She didn’t want to be asked about it either. The two times he had asked she had dodged giving a concrete answer and instead changed the topic, using a vague response as a front to what was going on in her head. Daniel didn’t try and pursue the truth, he knew it had the potential of escalating into an argument, considering Taylor knew how to be rather short-fused.

Little did he know how good of a reason she had.

Every previous relationship she had entered was a train-wreck after a train-wreck. A disaster wrapped in another disaster, often times ending with her and her partner on horrible terms and talking smack behind each other’s backs following the break-up. Since junior year in high school, she hadn’t been in a relationship with a single person she liked liked. It was always a settlement for a person who’d show interest in her first, hoping her feelings would develop as the relationship progressed. Unfortunately, they never did and neither did the relationship - leading to the aforementioned disaster. The few times her and her partner remained friends were considered the successful relationships in her book.

All that taken into account, one would find her reluctance on labeling her relationship with Daniel as official pretty reasonable. She didn’t want to admit her reasoning out loud, thinking it was childish and downright nonsensical, keeping Daniel in the dark about what was going on in her head. This was the first time for her to initiate the start of something of this sort - that in and of itself made this connection between them special. Besides that, this was the first time there was a connection. The first time she liked someone. Liked liked someone. She wasn’t looking forward to starting it just for it to fall apart which is why it took her so long to set it all in motion to begin with. And that’s why now she’s taking things slow. Agonizingly slow. But from her standpoint - perfectly reasonable.

In the middle of his reminiscing, about halfway through his trip down memory lane, he shifts to provide himself a more comfortable position. He was quick to regret that decision though, very very quick, especially when he saw the arm that was previously draped over his chest reach up and run a hand through the short red hair that’s glimmering with the morning rays coming in through the window.

“Shit, sorry for waking you up, T.“ Daniel whispers, his eyes squeezing shut as he cringes at the stutter to his words and the fact he even woke her up, “Go back to sleep, it’s barely 6 AM.“

Taylor shakes his head, surprising him when she ends up snuggling closer to him as though this is a perfectly normal occurrence. “Nah, it’s ok...“ she twists her neck to look up at him, rolling over to have a better view of his face, “You seem like you haven’t been asleep for a while.“

He indeed hasn’t been. He has instead been looking back on all the times they’ve spent together, reading into them and trying to dig out every detail, but he’s of course not gonna say that. She’d probably poke fun at him for being so sentimental and sappy, “No, um, I was just thinking, that’s all.” 

All that thinking did bring something useful to him - the events of last night. How she dropped by to study together and maybe watch a movie on the small crappy TV in his dorm while Andrew is gone for the weekend. How they had started a friendly bicker session regarding their cinematic taste. How they had gotten so close to kissing....when the power went out. Daniel still regrets how much he silently cursed that power shortage - that very shortage happened to be what has led them to this: cuddling together in his bed. Taylor didn’t want to go back to her dorm in the pitch black, not that Daniel was gonna let her do so anyway, so she agreed to stay the night, scolding him for being ridiculous when he offered to sleep on the floor. Oh yeah, she also needed something to sleep in, that’s how she ended up in his shirt. With all the pieces put together, this position of theirs is even more precious in his eyes.

“Thinking bout what? If you keep talking I might end up falling asleep again...“ Taylor presses onward, prying words out of his mouth despite his obvious reluctance.

He can never say no to her, to the point where it’s an actual inconvenience at times, which is why he lets out a long sigh before speaking up again, “Have I ever told you about the first time I caught feelings for you?”

“Nope.“ She mutters, “I’m all ears.“

Daniel inhales deeply, filling his lungs to their upmost capacity as he teleports his mind to that moment two years ago. The moment he first saw her. “It was my third day of classes and I was still in no way an expert at navigating this massive campus so I got lost on my way to the bathrooms in the second building. In my defense, it was my first time there so I couldn’t have found the way even if I was a navigation prodigy.“ He attempts to lighten up the tone with which he’s speaking but to no avail, there’s too much emotion in his voice. The moment he’s describing is too meaningful. “As I was aimlessly roaming the halls in search for any bathroom signs, I heard laughter around the corner. This was a big deal, mind you, cause I hadn’t seen a single soul for a good fifteen minutes. Following the sound, it led me to a group of three people standing by a classroom. You happened to be the only person facing away from me, how ironic.“ He lets out a breathy, humorless chuckle, “Even more ironically, just as I was about to approach your friend group to ask for directions, my roommate popped up out of thin air, calling out my name like the loud doofus he is.“

“Oh yeah I remember. Conrad is a handful. I remember my friends commented on how sorry they felt for you for having to share a dorm with him. You’re lucky he graduated. And by the way, fun fact, since we didn’t know your name we just took to calling you ‘guy in red shirt’. Makes me laugh every time I think back to it“ Taylor snickers, interrupting his story-telling.

“’Guy in red shirt’, huh? I like it. It’s better than Dan, anyway.“ This gets a laugh from her as well, “And that’s when you turned around and that’s when...“

“Wait, that’s it? I turned around and you caught feelings?“ She raises an eyebrow at him, unamused as ever.

“Yes.” No. “That’s when I caught feelings for you.” That’s when I fell in love with you.

Taylor rolls her eyes, resting her head back down on his chest, “Boring! I’m going back to sleep.”

If he could smack himself across the face without looking like an absolute weirdo he would do exactly that. “Sure, probably for the better...” I don’t wanna appear an even bigger idiot than I already have.

And so so many things remain unsaid yet again. But perhaps there will come a day when he’ll admit them to her and not only to himself.

One can only hope.

@artlovingbre  @megandaisy9  @sparrow-gg

[raniatsaran]

Ruby x Christina: for some reason Ruby is in danger and Christina chooses to save Ruby instead of complete her immortality spell. The fic is Ruby coming to at the house and Christina explaining to her what happened.

So. This kind of got away from me and ended up a little over 1k. I blame the episode 10 trailer, honestly. But thank you for the prompt! Also available on AO3.

The first thing she notices is that she’s back in Christina’s house, in Christina’s bed. The second is that the woman herself is sitting in a chair beside her. There’s a book in her hand but the dazed look in her eyes suggests that she’s not actually reading it, just lost in thought as she stares at the pages.

Ruby tries to move, to get Christina’s attention, and succeeds only because the brief movement makes her acutely aware of the throbbing at the front of her skull and she lets out a hiss of pain.

“You’re awake.” She sounds tired - no, exhausted, and when Ruby opens her eyes again she realises that Christina looks about as bad as she feels. There is a bruise forming on her jaw and several cuts are scattered over her face, the one on her forehead particularly nasty looking but, thankfully, appears to no longer be bleeding.

“And you’re hurt.”

“Not as much as you,” Christina replies, but she knows there’s a question in there - how are you hurt? “I haven’t been able to reapply my mark. My magic has been… somewhat depleted. Hopefully temporarily.”

She places her book down and leans forward, resting her arms on the edge of the bed. It’s then that Ruby remembers just why Christina had to remove her invulnerability in the first place and she glances at the window, carefully, noting the sunlight making its way through the small gap in the curtains. “Is Tic-?”

“He’s fine. No doubt sleeping off the events of last night with Leti and the rest of the family.”

“What happened?”

“You don’t remember?” Ruby shakes her head, regretting it instantly. Christina grasps her hand then, instantly looking like she’s considering pulling away until Ruby’s fingers tighten around her own.

“I remember… some idiot jumped in front of the car?” Christina nods encouragingly. “After that everything’s kind of a blur. I think I saw more of Tic’s demon dogs.”

“Shoggoth’s,” she corrects. “And technically only one belongs to him.”

Of course this woman has a small army of monsters, Ruby thinks. “You planning on filling in the blanks for me?”

“The idiot who jumped in front of the car was Titus Braithwhite.” Ruby’s eyes widen at that, Christina having told her enough about her lineage for her to know that Titus Braithwhite should not have been walking around Chicago. “I swerved and crashed, blacked out, and when I woke up you were gone.”

“He took me?” She hums. “Why? And how is he here?”

“Apparently I’d gotten it wrong - the whole Order had gotten it wrong. He had achieved immortality. And he wasn’t too thrilled about a woman, even one of his own blood, doing the same.”

“But why take me?”

Christina stares down at their clasped hands for a long moment. She opens her mouth to speak then changes her mind twice before she finally answers Ruby’s question. “He’s been watching me. Since Ardham, since all of this began. He knew that we were close. I suppose he thought that I would choose saving you over immortality.”

“He was right.”

It comes out as a whisper because Ruby can’t quite believe her own words. Immortality has been Christina’s goal for longer than Ruby has known her, something she always made clear that she would achieve no matter the cost. And she gave up her shot at it. For her.

“Caring for others doesn’t come easily to me.” Christina begins, finally looking up to meet Ruby’s eyes. “I was raised to believe that people were simply a means to an end, nothing more. But you-” her voice wavers slightly and she clears her throat. “I never needed you to spy on Atticus.”

"What does that mean?"

"I wasn't lying when I said that I saw magic in you, though the details of when I first saw you were altered." Ruby gives her a quizzical look. "I followed Tic for a while to make sure that he made it to Ardham - he's a lot of things but he has the self preservation instinct of a dodo." That gets a smile out of both of them. “I saw you at the block party.”

Ruby looks at her, surprised. “You were there?” She thinks of the crowd that gathered that night and knows for a fact that Christina would have stood out like a sore thumb.

“I parked in an alley, mostly stayed in my car,” Christina clarifies. “But I heard you, saw you - you had that crowd wrapped around your little finger. It was incredible.”

“And you didn’t know that I had any connection to Tic?” Ruby asks, swallowing.

“I worked it out eventually. When I saw Leti with him, I remembered seeing her on stage with you. But that was it.”

“So that night at the bar-”

“You were right. When you said that there were a thousand coloured girls that I could have shared my magic with.” Christina looks at her then with the kind of intensity that never fails to knock the air out of Ruby’s lungs. “I didn’t want them. I wanted you. As William, as myself, it didn’t matter. And yes, I needed your help to take down Lancaster, but that is the only time I have ever asked anything of you other than your company.”

Ruby gives herself a minute to take it all in. Because she’s right. Although Ruby has constantly had her doubts about their relationship, usually because of her sister getting into her head, Christina has never taken from her, only given.

“What happened with Titus?” She asks. The conversation has gotten away from them and, honestly, she feels like it’s a safer subject to move onto while she lets herself really process Christina’s words.

“I came after you - Tic, Leti and Hippolyta, too. They didn’t trust me in the slightest, but all Leti cared about was getting you back.” The just like me remains unsaid, but Ruby hears it all the same. “It took a lot, but we were able to make him mortal again.” As she speaks she turns her free hand over, Ruby only now noticing the bandage wrapped around it, dried blood staining the fabric over her palm. “Leti and Hippolyta got you into the car - they just about had to carry Tic and I back, too.”

“I’m sorry I missed that,” Ruby smiles. Then, after a beat, “You missed your chance to become immortal.”

“I did.”

“That’s all you’ve wanted this entire time.”

“Not all I’ve wanted,” Christina says pointedly.

“You keep saying things like that, I might actually start to believe you.”

Christina chuckles at that, squeezing Ruby’s hand. “I’m not good with people.” Ruby gives her a look, one that clearly states I’ve noticed. “Like I said, I don’t know how to care about someone, how to-” she cuts herself off, shaking her head. “But I’d like to learn. If you’ll teach me.”

“You said you wanted an eternity of firsts,” Ruby reminds her.

“I think I can experience quite a few with you.”

[heyitsani]

I always miss WIP Wednesday and I hate myself for it.  I don’t even know what to call Thursday snip-its.  But here is a small piece from tomorrow’s chapter of I Keep My Eyes Wide Open All the Time.  Completely unedited because that’s my tomorrow morning project, so be kind.

Damian is young in this next chapter and I struggled a bit to write him because he doesn’t understand a lot about people and emotions.  He observes reactions and shifts in emotions, but he doesn’t understand what they mean.  So in a way he’s kind of an unreliable narrator at this point in time.  And remember that he is being raised by Dick and Catalina, not Talia, so he is not the Damian of canon. Some personality traits transcend, but ones based on experiences will not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frowning at the cloaks the tailor slipped over his shoulders, Damian wondered why exactly he had to wear all these uncomfortable garments for his uncle’s wedding.  He had been to banquets and fancy parties before, but he had never had to wear all these heavy layers that were stiff and thick.  

“Honestly, Your Highness, they cannot be that unfortunate,” the tailor teased as he adjusted some of the gold edging on the outer cloak.  “Your father made much the same face when he attended his first wedding as the Crowned Prince.  So much of him in you.”  Damian looked at the man through the looking glass and considered him.  

“Stu, these look perfect,” Damian looked up to see his father walking into the room, dressed in his own ceremonial garbs.  “Are they the same design as the ones you made me for my first?”  The king walked over to stand in front of Damian, smiling down at the younger before looking at the tailor.

Stu waved a hand but bowed his head in the expected respectful manner as he continued to work on a piece.  “They are actually your old garments.  Your father brought them to me and said you would like that particular sentimentality.” Watching his father’s smile turn from friendly to something the five-year-old wasn’t quite sure how to label, Damian frowned.

“He’s not wrong,” his father said softly, looking back to Damian.  “But something tells me that you are enjoying them about as much as I did at your age.”  His father chuckled as he brushed a hand through the raven locks on his head before resting the hand on his shoulder.

“Yes well, he is his father’s son.”  The king laughed but kept his eyes on Damian.  “I am almost finished.  The Queen was quite insistent that I work as quickly as possible.  But these old bones can only move so quickly these days.” The smile on his father’s face faltered slightly at the mention of his mother but was quickly put back into place.

“She is a particular woman.”

The old tailor simply hummed and continued to work, but Damian kept a close eye on his father. Though he was only five, he could tell when there were things being unsaid. Ser Jason had started showing him how to watch people to read more than just what their words told them.  And his father always said much more with his expression and body then he did with his words, he was coming to find.  But that didn’t mean he understood any of it yet.

“Do you understand your role today, son?”  His father turned his full attention back to Damian, and the younger nodded.  His mother had drilled it into her, demanding nothing but perfection in his memory of what he was supposed to do.

Straightening his spine and lifting his chin, he looked up at his father.  “Mother made sure I knew what to do.  She…impressed upon me the importance of my role.”

“Did she?”  His father’s voice sounded odd.  “And what did your mother have to say about the possibility of making a mistake?”

“To not to.”

“Of course she did,” his father said, but Damian just furrowed his brows.  He didn’t understand why his father suddenly looked angry.  Had he done something wrong?  Said something wrong?  The hand that had been resting on his shoulder fell away and his father took a step back, smoothing down the front of his robes while taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly.

“Father?”

His father watched him for a moment before answering, his tone controlled but it didn’t match the look in his eyes.  “Your uncle is glad to have you carry his hand fasting box for him.  He will be happy with your performance no matter what mistakes might be made.  Anyone who tells you differently will have to deal with me.”

“Those sound like fighting words, My King,” an amused voice sounded from the door and Damian’s frown turned to a smile at the sight of Ser Jason leaning against the wall, arms crossed over the rich red of his cloaks.  “Should you be teaching a five-year-old such things?”

“Oh please,” Stu sounded, drawing Damian’s gaze.  “I have been around long enough to know he is this way because of you.”  Ser Jason let out a laugh and Damian could hear his father chuckling, but Damian’s attention was on the man at his feet.  “Now, I believe I am done.  Does it have your approval, Your Majesty?”

“Impeccable as always. But Stu honestly, when will you just call me Richard?  You’re practically family.”  The older man stood and brushed himself off before looking over at the king.  “Don’t give me that look.  You have never stood upon propriety before.  Least of all with me.”

“Yes well, you have always been your own force.  Perhaps His Highness will feel differently.”

“You mean perhaps he’s being influenced differently than his father.”

“Jason.”  

“Sorry, My King.” Damian looked between the three men and tried to figure out what exactly they were talking about, but none of it made any sense to him.  He felt like these kinds of conversations happened a lot around him.  About him.  “I did come here with a purpose.  His former Majesty is gathering everyone for the ceremony and requested I collect the two of you.  Appears you finished just in the nick of time, Stu.”

[blithers]

Hello Fandom 5K writer!  I’ve never done this exchange before, so I’m thrilled you’re going to be writing for me.  I’m active here on tumblr, somewhat active on twitter, and I’m blithers on AO3.

Things I Like: Characters who yearn for something better. Intense romantic longing. Humor. Jokes. Flirting. Really blatant flirting. First times. Sex! Porn! Codependency, all the way to its unhealthy extremes. Sarcasm. Arguments as foreplay. Forced marriages. Pretending to be in a relationship. Bittersweet endings. Happy endings. Things that are left unsaid. Phone sex. Tropes. Soulmate AUs. Awkward make outs. Awkward sex. Cunnilingus. Sharing a bed/sleeping together without having sex. Truth or dare. Secret identities. Sex pollen. Desperation. Epistolary narratives. People who are extremely competent at their work. Found families. Road trips. Friends deciding to lose their virginity with each other. 

Do Not Want (DNW): Major character death. The main couple getting pregnant or having babies.

Requests for: Life with Derek, The Folk of the Air - Holly Black, Critical Role, and The Agency - Y.S. Lee.

Life With Derek Casey McDonald/Derek Venturi

I love this show, and this relationship: the bantering, the bickering, the petty, ridiculous arguments with that intense little undercurrent of being each other’s most important person, the dissonant strangeness of them being stepsiblings while also being completely attracted to each other.  Recently I’ve been interested in the idea of updating this 10 year old show to modern day: what would this relationship look like with texting, twitter, and a social media presence?  I think you could go a lot of ways from here, from straight-up identity porn (they’re best friends online but don’t know it in the real world!), to that feeling of anonymity and freedom that physical distance sometimes gives you (flirting via texts, or being able to admit things to somebody using words you can’t tell in them in person yet), to a full-on social media AU (how does the rest of the family/their school friends react to Derek and Casey’s utterly weird thing on social media?).  Alternatively, I’d love to read any trope-y story for these two: playing truth or dare at a party, or different times they pretended to be each other’s significant other’s to get out of awkward situations, or escalating competitiveness or bets over bar games (darts! pool drinking games!) when they’re out together.

The Folk of the Air - Holly Black Jude Duarte/Cardan Greenbriar

There’s such an intensity to their relationship - on Jude’s side, and especially on Cardan’s side - I would love to read so much more about these two.  I’d love to read more about their wedding night: they got married, they are husband and wife now, and it happens so suddenly. It seems like they’d have so much to talk about, and a lot of heady feelings about belonging to another person that might bubble up in intense, possessive, strange sorts of ways - and that Cardan in particular must have been extremely pleased and even triumphant that Jude accepted his proposal. Or I’d love to read more about them making out/sleeping together while still hating each other (late first book/earlier second book-era), and it just keeps happening and they’re each other’s greatest allies but they also still don’t trust each other yet. What if they come to an arrangement where they decide that Jude will start sleeping in Cardan’s room to protect him from assasination and seduction attempts in the middle of the night, post-Nicasia’s failed crossbow attempt on his life?  Or, I’d love to read more of Cardan corresponding with Jude while she’s in exile (and her actually receiving any letters he writes) - both of them working through their feelings and situation via letters and having what I can only assume is the equivalent of a horribly torrid already-married-but-also-why-did-you-betray-me affair with words.

Critical Role Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast

Jester is my favorite character on the show, and I’m just fascinated by the relationships she has with the rest of the Mighty Nein, and well as the Traveller/Artie.  Lately I’ve become super interested in Caleb’s thwarted romantic pining/interest in her, and how that all twines together with his self-loathing and his slow transformation into a different, better sort of man.  I’d love a story where Jester returns Caleb’s feelings and feelings are mutual/reciprocated, but also a more angsty one where she does not, and the pining is one-sided on Caleb’s part.  (Feel free to include Jester/Fjord as a background couple, if that’s where you want to take things, although I’d appreciate no bashing of Fjord or that relationship if you do.)  As for prompts, I’d love to read more interactions between Caleb and Artagan, through the lens/focus of Jester - what if the two of them had to work together or team up to rescue Jester at some point, or to help her when she was in danger?  Or anything with magic pulling out reluctant truths from Caleb would be amazing: a zone of truth spell where Caleb’s feelings are pulled unwilling into the light, or a love spell or sex pollen effect with messy consequences.  Or, if you wanted to go AU, what about a spy AU where Jester and Caleb are agents, the rest of the M9 are their support team, and things bubble over on a tense undercover mission or heist?  Or a lower key, lower stakes modern day AU, with Caleb and Jester as best friends in high school or college, navigating new feelings in their friendship/relationship, would be absolutely charming and wonderful.

The Agency - Y.S. Lee James Easton/Mary Quinn

I adore this YA mystery series, and I’d love to get a closer look into the James/Mary relationship than what you get in the books. It’s such a shame we didn’t get to see any of their actual married life in the books, as I am so interested to find out what those adjustments are like for the two of them - I mean, they were both just panting to be married, I’m sure they’re all over each other like crazy, and I love the intimate discoveries you make when living with somebody for the first time. I would love to read about their wedding night (or the days immediately following their wedding) in particular - and if it makes any sort of difference, I sort of assume James is a virgin as well as Mary. Or, I always wished they wrote more to each other in the books - I adore the one letter that James did write begging Mary that the two of them should be friends/more-than-friends in the third book, and I would love to read more in the epistolary vein with the two of them corresponding and having a relationship/wooing each other via letters.  Some other ideas: Casefic, different times they made out in the carriage, handcuffed or bound together while investigating a case together, any sort of trope-iness while in the midst of detective work would be amazing!

[darlinvandijk]

It’ll be okay

Concept: request where “reader is struggling a lot with her mental health and cries a lot at night when she’s alone. Kinda based on his song “unsaid””. So trigger warning, this will involve anxiety, depression, and overall struggle with mental health. This is an extremely personal piece for me, if it’s personal to you too, just know I love you. Things get better. Sorry this took me so long, it was hard for me to write. i hope you enjoy

Another day passed, another blurry, and grey day. Today was just like the rest of my days lately, numb and pain filled. It might sound like an oxymoron, being able to feel pain while being numb, but trust me it’s possible. Everyday has been filled with emotionless conversations on my behalf, fake smiles and laughs, but no one seems to notice the endless amounts of suffering I’m going through alone. They haven’t even seemed to notice how this whole holiday break, I’ve been “busy” everyday they tried to meet up. I wish they would notice, because the lord knows I won’t ask for help. Maybe it’s better they don’t notice, I wouldn’t want to be a burden to my own friends.

Every day I wake up, feeling nothing but a heavy sense of dread weighing me down. My body just being dead weight that I carry around throughout the daily tasks that I can barely bring myself to do, majority of my day spent in and out of sleep. All I do is sleep, it’s the only way to avoid the real world, and even then I can’t always avoid it when my problems follow me into my dreams. I don’t even think I dream that much anymore, my brain not even being able to muster up the energy to do that. The little bit of energy I have is used up most nights by the sobs that silently shake my body, usually trying to be as quiet as possible to not alert my parents, or it’s used up by the more frequent than ever panic attacks. They use up more energy than I have, leaving me a shaky tear streaked mess, too terrified to even move after having one. Let’s just say these past two weeks we’ve been on break,have only lead to everything becoming worse, all I can do is stay in my room and let these words in my head tear me down. I’m broken.

I sit on the floor of my room, music softly filling the space as I lean against the wall, ignoring the tears that seem to never go away. I silently watch my phone, the endless stream of texts and group chats getting blown up, not being able to find it in me to respond to them. Not like they’d notice if I replied anyways, too enticed with the bottomless amount of party invites. I let out a choked sob, wishing I could feel the happiness they feel, envying the way they get to experience life. I don’t want to be envious and jealous of them, but when your brain is wired a certain way, making even the smallest things a struggle, it’s hard to not be a little green towards your friends. I feel all these emotions running through me, my tears just streaming down my face, yet I’ve never been more emotionally detached and numb.

I stare at my phone as it lights up with an incoming call, instantly tensing when I see the name that pops up across my screen, one of the many people I’ve distanced myself from again. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves and steady my uneven breathing, hoping I can hide my pain filled state. I lift the phone shakily to my ear, “Hey rueloff, what’s up” I cheerily spit out, feeling the fake emotions drip off my words. I hear him take in a breath on the other end, before letting out a light sigh, causing me to freeze at the underlying disappointment radiating off of him. The one person I never wanted to disappoint or bother. All I can seem to do is disappoint people.

“I’ve tried to give you space the last two weeks, but I’m done letting you ignore my calls and texts. What’s going on with you?-” Ruel questions instantly, leaving no room for argument. I sit there silently, completely unsure on how to get myself out of the mess I’ve made. I start trying to pathetically defend myself, only to be interrupted, “don’t give me that bullshit, you haven’t been busy. You always tell me that everything is fine, but you don’t have anywhere to hide now, and you know that.” He snaps out. I feel my eyes get watery at the frustration he feels, even though I know he’s not mad at me, he’s just frustrated that I’m not letting him in. He’s frustrated that I’m going down the same path again, the same path I’ve been down many times before.

“I’ve just been tired lately, not in the mood to socialize and stuff, that’s all..” I mumble, my words left hanging in the air as they pierce through the heavy silence. It’s quiet for a few more seconds, just enough time for my bottom lip to wobble, tears yet again filling my eyes to the brim. I squeeze my eyes shut, pressing my lips tight together, trying to cut off my emotions. I try to take in a quiet breath to even my breathing out, only for it to come in staggered, causing Ruel to instantly hold his breath. The silence was deafening.

“Why don’t you ever wanna talk about it? Can’t you see that I’m trying my hardest here, I’m trying to get through to you, but you always fucking find a way around it. Please just let me help.. please” he quietly lets out, the crack in his voice causing a sob to rack my body. Knowing I’m hurting those around me, when that’s the one thing I’m trying to avoid, is tearing me apart. I don’t want the people I love to be hurt, I’m not worthy enough for them to care that much anyways. I never wanted to hurt the people around me and I never wanted to disappoint them. I never wanted to end up like this.

I sit there silently, my phone laying on the ground next to me on speaker, listening to the sound of Ruels shaky breathing. I hear him take a deep breath, causing my quiet sobs to pause as I listen, knowing he’s about to say something. “I’m coming over. I can’t let this just hang over my head anymore.” He states, ending the call before I can even object to his plans. I sit there against my wall, numbly staring straight ahead, unable to even find the motivation to get up and try to tidy my room up. I mean fuck, I don’t even have the motivation or energy to get up and brush my hair. It’s not like there’s even a point in trying to look better and clean my room, he already knows the truth, he already knows it’d just be a facade to hide the actual state I’m in.

I get the energy to numbly shuffle across my room to change my clothes, I’ve been in them for about 4 days now, and the least I can do is make sure I’m in something clean. I slowly undress, not even realizing what I’m doing, my body just going on autopilot. I grab one of Ruels hoodies off a hanger, pulling it over my head, before shakily putting on a pair of shorts. My legs slightly wobble as I make my way to my bed to sit down, feeling weak from my lack of food lately. I’ve lightly snacked on a few things my mom has brought me over the past couple of days, but just couldn’t bring myself to fully eat anything. It wasn’t even that I didn’t want to eat, it’s just that I couldn’t bring myself to even move in order to do so. I haven’t showered. I’ve barely even brushed my teeth. I haven’t brushed my hair. I haven’t done anything. I don’t want to do anything. I can’t do anything.

I don’t even realize the time that has gone by until I hear footsteps leading up to my bedroom door, snapping my out of the thoughtless trance I was in. I’m sitting against my headboard, knees pulled into my chest, as my door is slowly pushed open. Ruel enters the room, his eyes wandering over everything, before they rest on me. He stands with his back against my now closed door, watching me with a observant gaze as he tries to read the situation. I silently stare back, not having the confidence to make the first move, especially when I’ve never been confident when it comes to talking about my mental health. Especially when it comes to talking about it with people close to me, it’s too intimate and leaves me vulnerable.

He slowly walks to the bed, slipping his shoes off, before climbing up and sitting next to me. We both stare at the wall straight ahead of us, shoulders pressed against each other. Surprisingly it’s not an awkward silence, but rather one filled with understanding, since he seems to know that this situation is a lot harder for me than I’ll ever admit. We sit in silence for who knows how long, our shoulders rising and falling together with our quiet breaths, my music softly playing in the background. As we sit there together, I feel my throat start to tighten up, the anxiety for what’s to come next finally reaching surface. I continue to look at the wall, feeling my bottom lip quiver, as tears start to fall down my face in a never ending river. A choked sob brutally makes its way out of my throat, disrupting the silence we had been sitting in, and shifting the air around us. Ruel continues to stare at the wall, but softly reaches his hand out to intertwine it with mine, putting as much reassurance into it as he can.

“Sweetheart, you need to let me in. I can’t help you if you don’t let me... what’s going on?” He whispers to me, pulling me into his chest. The tears continue to steadily stream down my face, my back pressed against his chest, and my hands clutching his arms that are wrapped around my chest. He holds me tight against him, his own eyes watering a little as he feels the sobs rip through my body, knowing there’s nothing he can really do to make this all go away. I feel my anxiety and anguish rise at his question, because I have no real answer for him. I don’t know why this is happening, I don’t know why I feel this way, and I don’t know how he can help me. All I know is that it hurts. It hurts so fucking much.

“I-I dont know. I don’t know why this is happening or why it keeps happening... I don’t want it to keep happening-“ I whimper out, hiccuping as I try to keep going. Ruel starts to slowly rock us side to side, having felt the way my body tensed up as I tried to explain my feelings. I turn my head to look at him, his eyes clearly showing distress as he takes in my shattered expression, which only break more as I keep going. “How is anyone s-supposed to help m-me when I can’t even h-hell myself. I-I want it to s-stop. I don’t want to feel like t-this anymore, it hurts. I-it never gets better. I-it just keeps hurting me... it hurts” I sob out, my cry for help clear as day. A few tears fall from Ruels eyes down his cheeks, his heart breaking as he realizes everything I’ve been going through alone, as he realizes just how much it’s truly breaking me.

“I promise you won’t feel like this forever, it feels like it right now, but it won’t always be like this. We’re gonna get you help, yeah? We’re gonna get you help, so that it stops hurting, and you’ll be able to see just how important you truly are.” He promises me, holding me as tight as he can against him. I want to believe him, I truly do, but I’ve felt like this for so long that I just don’t have hope anymore. Ruel notices my lack of reply, deciding to instantly start pleading with me, “No, you can’t give up on me. You promised me when we were little, that you would be by my side forever. You don’t break promises. We’re going to get you help and I’ll help you too. I won’t quit until that day you can fall asleep at night without crying or feeling alone, because you’re not alone. So many people care about you” He whimpers out. I grab his hand with both of mine, holding it as I clutch it to my chest, feeling all the pain I’ve been pushing away rise to the surface.

“If so many people care about me.. then why do I feel so alone. All I do is hurt everyone around me. You wouldn’t feel like this if it wasn’t for me..-“ I choke out, his hand instantly gripping both of mine as they stay clutched against me, neither of us taking notice to my playlist coming to an end. I hear him take in a breath, but cut him off before he can say anything, “I just want to feel normal. I don’t want to keep hurting and keep wondering what I could change about me to be better.. why can’t I just be good enough” I whisper. It almost echos in the now silent room, leaving a haunting feeling behind, my words holding a heavy meaning as they linger. I hear his shaky breathing and feel it against the back of my neck, his arm tightening around me.

“Don’t say that. You are good enough, you’re more than good enough. Without you I would have never experienced some of the best moments of my life, I wouldn’t be who I am without you. I’m not me without you. You’re the biggest blessing in my life.” He mutters into my ear, feeling my sobs start to subside, leaving me resting against him with his hand still gripped between mine. He presses a light kiss to the side of my head, not knowing how to fully express his feelings, especially when it comes to a topic this hard. “You’re not alone, you’ll never be alone, because you’ve got me for the rest of our lives. I promise.” He states, a tone if finality in his voice. I give him a shaky nod back, wanting more than anything to feel whole again, even if I don’t fully believe it right now.

“I just don’t want to hurt anymore.. that’s all I want.” I softly plead, hearing the desperation lacing my voice. Ruel completely pulls me into him, holding me as desperately as I’m holding him, both of us gripping for any sort of comfort. I turn to him and stare into his lightly red rimmed eyes, uttering anguish filled question, “can things ever truly get better?” I whimper out. He instantly places his hands against my cheeks, pressing his forehead against mine, giving me no option but to stare into his emerald eyes.

“Yes. Things can and will get better. All you need is a little help, because even the strongest people need help.” He confirms, watching the way my hesitant eyes regard him. I can feel his hands shaking as they keep their firm grip on my face, my own hands shaking as I hold onto his forearms. We stay in this position, foreheads against each other, and hands holding onto one another as he waits for me to reply. As he desperately pleads and prays in his head for me to pull myself out of this dread filled fog that covers my brain. It’s not that easy though.

“If things get better, why doesn’t it feel like it? Why doesn’t it feel like I’ll ever be okay again.” I barely manage to get out before my face is in the crook of his neck, and he’s holding me firmly in his arms. He presses soft kisses to the top of my head, wanting nothing more than to take away my pain, but knowing this is only the start of a long grueling process. The start of a process that’s going to have more ups and downs than anyone could possibly imagine.

“Because your brain isn’t ready to accept it yet, which is why I’m here. I’m going to be the encouraging and strong part of your brain to keep you going, until you can do it on your own. I’m going to fight for you to get better, until you can fight it on your own, with me on the side cheering you on. I’ll take you to whatever appointments and sessions you have to go to until you feel like you again.” He promises, my breath hitching with emotion as I truly take in how much he cares about me and is believes in me. Before I can reply to him, he starts talking again, “recovery isn’t an overnight process love, it’s fast for some people, but long for others. It’s going to be hard, it’s going to be stressful, but I promise you’re going to do it. You’re the strongest girl I know and I love you.” He concludes. I nod against his neck, gripping onto him as he slowly slides us down my bed, stopping once we’re fully laying down with me resting on top of him.

“It’s hard for me to truly believe everything you’re saying right now, but I promise I’ll try my hardest. I want to get better, I want to get better for me, and for all of you-” I mumble back, feeling my eyes start to droop as the exhaustion from today’s events finally kicks in. He slowly starts combing through my hair with one of his hands, the other tracing patterns into my lower back, neither actions helping in my fight to stay awake. “Thank you for not giving up on me. I love you more than anything. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I just wish I could fly through this recovery thing, because it hurts Ruel. It hurts to keep feeling this way everyday” I sleepily mutter. He softly sighs out, knowing that I’ll be okay one day, but also knowing it’s going to take awhile till I get there.

“It’ll be okay. I promise.” He whispers, his words hanging in the air as we both drift off into a well deserved night of sleep, holding each other with nothing but love in our hearts.

Everyone deserves happiness and peace, everyone deserves to live a full life, and everyone deserves to see what the world truly has in store for them. One day I’ll believe I deserve it too.

[wehatepaparazzi]

Nina Dobrev.

Let’s just give it up one time for the girl that carried her show on her back. How many different characters did she play? She deserves a round of applause and a martini as she is quite the partier…

So let’s jump in and go back to the early years. During TVD years, after her and Ian had separated – someone that worked on the sets of TVD for a few seasons reported that Ian was a major asshole and was incredibly petty towards Nina. He created a really toxic environment on set, rolling his eyes during any scene they had together and would go stiff if they had to interact. Nina couldn’t wait to get out of there.

Ian cheats on Nina numerous times with Julianne Hough. He then gets drunk and confesses to Nina which caused their breakup. Julianne and Nina partied a lot together, and apparently had gotten over it because in Sept 2013, Nina started sleeping with Julianne’s brother, Derek. Also, a shit bag. Come Oct they were at a party together, Derek was wasted and started screaming at Nina because she didn’t kiss him right? He proceeded to kiss several women, oddly, Nina didn’t seem to mind. The relationship only lasted until Oct, blogs said it was because of schedules and time difference, but I’m pretty sure its because Nina realized Derek and his sister are scum sucking rodents. A short funny story: in May 2014, Derek hooked up with Nikki. She might as well just date Nina at this point.

ENTER Orlando Bloom.

Nina dated Orlando at the same time he was fighting with Justin Bieber and also sleeping with the ex wife of the guy Orlando’s ex wife (Miranda Kerr) cheated on Orlando with. All of this is what Nina dealt with. Nina and Orlando take a break, he somehow convinces her to give him another chance, they get a dog together, and like two weeks later Orlando cheats again, randomly dumps her and just leaves her.

In Oct 2014, Nina and Julianne ran into each other at an event which ended with Nina calling Julianne “evil” followed by a long list of not so family-friendly adjectives in front of it. But then by Jan 2015, Nina was either hooking up with Derek again or he wanted to, because she was again seen with Julianne. Y i k e s.

Somewhere in there, Ian gets with Nikki… who only went after Ian because she wanted a boyfriend that would make her famous again. July 2014, at an event Nikki and Nina started screaming at each other pointing fingers and Nikki was talking all kinds of bullshit, which was mostly false and came from a bitter Ian. I hate when women look stupid over men, more than once. Ian married Nikki in April 2015, yet still texted Nina telling her how unhappy he is and he misses her, apparently Nina was uninterested, however in May 2015, Ian and Nina got together to hash out things left unsaid and ended up having some ex sex, going about the rest of their day like how it used to be. When Nina announced she’d be making a return to TVD, Nikki was not happy and would show up on set all the time to cause tension, eventually being booted off the set.

As TVD was coming to an end, Nina wanted to make sure she wasn’t left in the dust “like the rest of the CW cast” so she found herself another way to make ends meet. The girl has zero issues with escorting. She began yachting. (If you’re unfamiliar – google is your friend.) Although, officially she was in Cannes (for those of us that wondered how the hell Nina Dobrev made it to Cannes Film Festival) for her partnership with Dior, but she was definitely doing other “business” as well. It’s so well known (among her Hollywood peoples) that two other TVDU Cast came to her, for “advice.” Yes, Phoebe Tonkin who wasn’t getting paid well, very little to be completely honest – followed right behind Nina and started yachting with a complete billionaire. (After Paul, of course.) I believe it was around June 2019, you see a noticeably good amount of photos with Nina and “friends” on expensive yachts and helicopters with no tagged sponsors. Welcome to the Rich life of yachting.

Nina had a role in Flatliners, and had a backup plan incase the movie flopped. Her plan: Dubai. She ran into Lindsay Lohan and about 7 months later it was reported that during this trip – Lilo was actually terrible to Nina because she thought Nina was after her man. She wasn’t, but yikes.

Dec 2019, Film Producer Mohammad Al Turki who recruits several actors/actresses. Apparently he finds some damaging information they don’t want revealed and then uses it against them to do more things they also don’t want revealed. Going from Zac Efron to Michelle Rodriguez to Kristen Stewart who he would have his guests view, grope and ogle over and Nina actually fell into this mess becoming another one of his objects. Hollywood is sick yall, I’m telling you.

Nina used to be an extremely heavy smoker (I love her voice) but I believe in 2019, she kicked that habit as well as her eating disorder. She’s looking a lot more healthier, thicker. Just better all around. Now if only she can find some actual friends and a man that will treat her right. We’re rooting for you girl, We’re all rooting for you.

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2013/05/cannes-escorts