#i don’t even care if you See yourself in her/her lyrics cuz sure whatever. but you r uh. Not the authority on her sexuality lol

[tenmyoujump]

i don’t actually care if people like taylor swift i’m just fascinated by everyone that keeps claiming she’s a lesbian secretly cuz they read way too deep into her lyrics or whatever

[infernalrevenge]

Okay, so this is a spur of the moment sort of idea, but is it possible to have a headcanon of the four lords with a s/o who has terrible memory loss. And I don't mean forgetful, think more along the lines of Fifty first dates, like she greets one of the lords and they get talking, lords end up coming back cuz they liked their positive attitude, but when they come to visit again, s/o greets them like they've never met. Does that make sense?

Yeah I think I get what you're saying, though I never really watched the full movie HAHAHA I've only seen half of it but I know how it goes down. Hopefully, whatever I've come up with satisfies your idea :P

To stay true to the idea, reader here has anterograde amnesia -- characterized by not being able to retain short-term memories. They're aware of their own condition.

----------

Alcina Dimitrescu

Understandably, she'd be confused, caught off guard that you didn't remember the time you spent with her.

Honestly she might be so confused that she'll forget to be offended -- not that it would have ever occurred to her that she was bad company in the first place. You were so pleasant to be with too, so... what went wrong?

When you explain it all to her, you might actually be surprised at how quickly she gets it. Definitely isn't the strangest thing she's ever heard of. She knows too what it's like to be around someone with terrible memory -- her patience with Moreau is astounding and one she doesn't extend to just anyone.

(But you aren't "just anyone" to her. You were a warm presence, a ray of sunshine in that time you spent together, however short. She wanted to get to know you better, and if that meant putting much more effort into maintaining that connection with you, then it's nothing she can't do.)

She'll creep her way into your mind (and heart) through song. She'll invite you to the castle and teach you serenades and classical pieces, you sing while she plays the piano. It doesn't matter to her if you sing off-key or add your own silly lyrics -- if she's being honest, sometimes she even prefers your versions.

Every now and then, you do forget the notes and the words, but Alcina doesn't have a problem with going over them again if you hear a "new tune" you found interesting. It's a good thing too that she loves music so much.

One day, she might even catch you humming them while you sit with her in a comfortable silence. You may not be sure exactly how you know the song, but you're glad you're able to make the Lady smile by doing so. Maybe you'll try to learn the words next time.

Donna Beneviento

...was she really so unpleasant that you already forgot about her and the day you spent together?

She'll be so embarrassed if you don't remember who she is, thinking that the other day was a mistake and that she was just imagining the connection you two had. Not to be dramatic but she'll definitely run away in tears.

The best way to remedy the situation is to go after her right away and try to explain the situation. She might not even believe you at first, her anxiety initially convincing her that you made all this up as a way of rejecting her, or that this was all a mean prank. But if you're patient enough, she might come to understand it.

In the process of becoming part of your life, she'll definitely make something that will eventually remind you of her, or someone like her. She just wants something that would stick with you, ideally something tangible.

One day she'd gift you with a doll in your likeness, complete with its own clothes and accessories. She might even include a very small doll in Angie's likeness to go with it, to serve as that reminder.

Once you do get close enough, she says that she would rather have you call her "Donna" than by her formal title. Though this frequently slips your mind, it's no trouble at all for her to remind you. Besides, it's quite cute to see you say her name like you're trying it out for the first time, even if it may have been the eleventh. She loves the way you say her name.

And when it finally sticks to you after enough repetition and you greet her like that without prompting? Her heart just flutters.

Salvatore Moreau

Moreau has always known that he has terrible memory, but after meeting you? He's starting to doubt exactly how bad he could really have it.

As a former doctor, he might recognize the diagnosis you give him after explaining it and he goes "Oh.... Oh!"

He'll be so relieved it's not because you wanted to let him down gently by feigning forgetting the memory of what was literally yesterday (but also he'd understand if you did, he almost threw up on you in excitement. Come to think of it, maybe it was best you didn't remember that part.)

Still, he'd be determined to spend a lot of time with you and become a part of your working memory somehow. Though he knows there's no cure for such an affliction, he'll want to make an effort to include some aspect of himself into your routine.

He'll write you little notes and letters, about how wonderful you are and how you make him feel whenever you two are together. He'll give you a journal so you can write about all the cool things you want to remember later on (and part of him hopes you write about him too.)

(And of course you write about him, who would ever want to forget about the sweet doctor fish man who just wants to be loved and a part of your world.)

One day, he catches a glimpse of one such diary entry -- and he only knew that because he saw the cute little doodle you made of him, along with a small heart next to it. He swears he never meant to pry, but he thinks about it for days and days. He's never been happier.

Karl Heisenberg

Oh he'll be mad at first, for sure. He's likely the type to express first and ask questions later when it comes to these matters, but the anger is more out of confusion than genuine offense.

If you try to explain it, he may just think you're lying at first. "If you wanted me to leave you alone, you could just say so," he'd say. But at the same time, there'd be such a sincerity in your voice that it would be hard for him to keep denying it. Fine... maybe you're not pulling his leg then.

You can't tell me that this man doesn't make trinkets in his spare time. He can be a big mean metal worker all he wants but I can also picture him having made a keychain or two in his life. Maybe even a necklace. They're not perfect or polished by any means, but he just likes making little things with scraps left over from bigger projects.

That said, he'll give you some without much of a second thought. He probably ask you first if you want to keep any the first time you stumble upon his messy workstation at the factory. They looked pretty neat, so you took some of them home.

You might find yourself fidgeting with the moving parts of it, trying to rack your head and remember exactly where you got them and how. Was it on a trip? Did you get these as souvenirs? Why did one of them look like an electric fan with legs?

Sometimes you'll show him all this stuff and talk about how cool they looked. Your favorite might be the one that looks like a hammer, but the fan with legs was a close second. You tell him to be careful of the sharper parts though (wouldn't want him to get tetanus.)

He may or may not get a little embarrassed as you gush about your "new" trinkets. You might offer to give some to him that he likes but he insists you keep them, especially since you like them so much.

[mymindwide]

Madness

Pairing: Ashton x Female reader

Word count: 3464

Warning: jealousy, angst, feelings, smut with fingering, male receiving blowjob, riding and fluff. A little from everything.

Summary: You started out as part time lovers, but maybe one of you want more?

Author’s note: The inspiration behind this piece was a part of the lyrics of the song - Escape from LA by The Weeknd.

She pulled up to the studio Nobody's watching She closed the door and then she locked it For me, for me We had sex in the studio Nobody walked in I cut my verse and then she popped it For me, for me

...

She got Chrome Hearts hangin' from her neck And them shits going wild When she ride, she hold tight She gon' ride 'til sweat fall down her spine

My beautiful angel, my nr. 1 supporter, my partner in hoeing @littledrummerangie (aka @littledrummeraussie) asked me/convinced me to post this. If you’ll like it, thank her. Take care and enjoy your read.

*****

“Should we maybe test it together?” his eyes bored into yours leaving no doubt about his intentions.

“Lead the way, handsome…” came the immediate response from you, as you slithered your hand in his leaving no doubt for him about your consent.

The offering referred to the club’s renovated bathroom where the two of you locked yourself up.

That’s how it all started, how you ended up on the counter of the VIP club’s bathroom, your skirt rolled up to your waist, your panties pulled aside, being fucked by a handsome stranger you just met but immediately found a mutual point regarding why you visited the club in the first place.

None of you thought it could be more than a one night stand, but you officially became fuck buddies. Both of you went there to have fun and find someone who could possibly help release the tension and stress that slowly aggregated in you and couldn’t find a quick way out for lack of a partner. You thought you’d just “fallen in love” for that particular night but it was good enough for both of you that you changed numbers and agreed on that you have to repeat it sometime in the future. But your second quickie was followed by another and then another one…

Actually you were surprised how easily and smoothly you came to terms over what you two had – high-class sex, no strings attached. It is what it is, without complications. You enjoyed each other’s company and body and with that you took everything the other could offer. As it turned out on the day of your acquaintance in the club, both of your latest failed relationships taught you enough to not get involved in anything serious, at least for now, and this was good enough for the both of you. The only rule you insisted on was that there are no rules. You called or texted each other whenever you needed each other, but otherwise everyone could go on their separate way, and do whatever they wish with whoever they please.

Over the course of your ongoing fuck buddiness various locations provided a safe place for you to luxuriate your desires - sometimes he invited you to his home, sometimes it was you who had him up to your flat, but if you lost the fight against your eagerness, on several occasions you did it in his car as well – all in the name of mutual agreement of the friends with benefits state, except that you couldn’t even be called friends. You talked, of course, beside the sex, and you know little things about the other, but serious or deep things? Heaven-shattering big secrets? Not so much.

And this is exactly why you were so surprised by your own reaction at finding out that most likely your part time lover has someone else to have fun with. It’s been a pleasant Friday afternoon, you were spending your lunch-break sitting on the terrace of your favorite restaurant at noon having just finished with your lunch, when surfing through the daily news at the tabloid section you found paparazzi pictures of Ashton with a seemingly nice-looking girl while they’re having breakfast and coffee, smiling and laughing. You felt a strange grip in your heart - a painful reminder of something you tried to push back into the depths of your mind, something you didn’t want to acknowledge, something that you realized just recently yourself. That although according to your agreement you’d have had every opportunity and right to meet or date other men, you didn’t. You simply weren’t interested in anyone else, because he was completely enough for you. He takes good care of your physical needs; he is smart, handsome and has a sense of humor that just cannot be competed with. The long and short of it, he’s a decent guy you could imagine more with, if you weren’t so disappointed in your previous affairs or relationships. This was too good with Ashton to ruin it. You needed him in your life. But it looks like you are not enough. Again...

You haven’t seen him in a week cuz they started working in the studio on their upcoming material, so much you know. You missed him, which was already a warning sign for you about your possibly changing feelings, but for this particular reason you wanted to give him even more space than he already has based on your very open and sex oriented relationship. No calls, no texts, no requests for impromptu meetings. You lost all your concentration skills for the rest of the day and you thank god that you have a pretty silent afternoon in the office. Your mind had been clouded with questions like ‘why’ and ‘what can that girl give him that you can’t’? Thoughts and images of your encounters torture you that also can’t give you reassuring answers to your constantly popping up questions.

When you close your eyes you hear yourself chanting his name after your second or third orgasm he gave you…; you hear him praising God while you suck him off; you hear him whispering ‘how much I love fucking your tight little pussy’ in your ear while you’re on all fours in front of him; and you just love him doing exactly that. God, how much you love his dirty mouth, sometimes you think you could just get off simply by hearing him talking dirty, because he’s that good with his words… Sex works perfectly between you two and you understand each other on the little things you share with the other. The unanswered questions riled you up so much that a thought has planted itself in your mind. You’ll show him. If this is the last thing you two will do, you’ll show him what he’ll miss and beg back.

You drove home and picked out your sexiest short mini dress with a very nice cleavage that does justice to your breasts he loves oh so much. ‘They are wonderful, my angel’ Ash’s words echoes in your mind as the image of his lips closing on your hardened nipples runs in front of your mind’s eye. To the picture in your head a familiar ache would start to build in your core but your anger and desperation is stronger now. So the dress is on, lingerie is not… You spray on from his favorite perfume and get in your car again to drive a good twenty minutes to the studio they use and he showed you once.

It’s kinda late now when you arrive, you assume they are about to finish their day and it turns out you’re not wrong as you bump into the other three guys in front of a door that has a red flashing RECORDING sign above. Three very surprised pairs of eyes looked you up and down.

“Hey guys… Is Ashton here?” your eyes have scanned the hallway behind the three men.

“Sweetie, fans are not allowed here. How did you…?” a scruffy faced blond guy questioned you, who you know for a fact is called Michael.

“Oh, I’m not a fan,” you interrupt Mikey immediately, “I mean, I like your music, you are great and all, but I’m really just here to see Ash” you tried to remain as calm as possible seeing their confusion getting bigger.

You’re not surprised the slightest bit that they have no idea who you are. But you’ve been doing this for almost four months now and they are not suspecting anything? Now that amazes you. Ash is very clever at keeping things private, except when it comes to breakfast dates with pretty blond girls. This tiny fact just adds to your growing inner fury.

“Guys, are we gonna leave...” the door has opened and Ash’s words stuck in his throat the second he saw you standing in the hallway with his bandmates.

You can see the surprise in his eyes as he’s still taking your sight in, but you’re not the only one, the other three looked at him and then each other, possibly considering calling the security on you, but fortunately Ash could sense this and with finally opening his mouth he prevented further unwanted complications.

“Y/N…” at least those three worried eyes could see he knows your name, so probably you’re not a random stranger from the street.

“Can we talk?” your voice remained soft, but your eyes mirrored sadness and impatience and he could read that that second.

“It’s okay guys. See ya tomorrow.”

After a ‘Tomorrow’ a ‘See ya’ and a suspicious ‘I’ll call you later’ from each of them, they left you two there not taking the trouble to say a single word to you. If you weren’t in this stormy state of mind you’d let yourself be moved over the fact how cute is that these young adult men are worried about their brother.

The door has been closed behind you and you turned back to turn the lock shut making sure no one can disturb your rendezvous. You walked towards him without saying a word, your eyes refused to leave his, and you saw he probably would have liked to say or rather ask something but his eyes wandered on you - exactly the effect you wanted to go for with that dress.

Tiptoeing you cupped his cheeks in your hands and captured his lips with yours in a feverish manner, and his in response jump automatically onto your hips. Your hands don’t spend too much time on his face as they slide down his chest and reaching between you, you start to unbuckle his belt.

Ashton pulls away just enough to ask ‘What is going on’, which comes out rather breathy, and your hands halts for a second on his zipper while you answer a quick ‘I need you’ back to cut your conversation short, and seeing the desperation in your eyes he decides not to force it for now, just give himself in to whatever you’re about to do – which he has an idea for as your hand slide in his boxer and your warm palm wraps around his still limp member to free it.

No matter how worked up or angry you are, in its weird twisted way what you were about to do turned you on and holding his soft cock in your hand figuratively made your mouth water. You dropped yourself on your knees in front of him and pushed him in your mouth immediately, you wanted to enjoy his softness and that this way he still fits fully and perfectly in, which will change as soon as you’ll start sucking him, so you wanted to lengthen and luxuriate these moments a bit. Especially as this is probably your last opportunity to do this to him, to hear those beautiful and breathy moans. Because if your suspicion proves to be true, no matter what you agreed on at the beginning of your “relationship”, you have changed your mind, and don’t want to share him with anyone. Then that’s it for you, you’re ready to walk away.

You started with slow movements, just suck him in and pull him out as your lips brushing against his shaft until he hardened enough; then you let your tongue play along his velvety skin leaving open mouth kisses on his shaft while palming his balls for the better and quicker effect. When his tip started releasing his pre cum, you happily smeared it on his tip with the circular motions of your tongue while looking straight in his eyes receiving the same admiration and lust you’ve seen every single time you did this to him. The only difference had been that his hands are resting on the mixing desk grabbing onto its edge instead of being buried in your hair guiding your movements and praising your lips wrapping so perfectly around his cock. He really is a clever guy, and respects that for now you are in control, he most likely sees that you are in need of it, and he’ll do whatever you give permission for.

You made this blowjob sloppy for him to slick him up enough and reaching the desired condition you pulled him off of your mouth and standing up quickly you pushed him by his chest until he bumped the couch with the back of his legs and dropped down onto it. You straddled him but before lowering yourself on him he asked something for the first time during your studio invasion.

“Can I touch you?” his voice surprisingly insecure as his hands rested on your bare knees.

You looked him in the eye and just nodded, although for a quick moment you played with the thought of saying no just out of some sort of punishment.

His hands slithered up on your thighs; one reaching and grabbing your round butt, the other one slid between your legs to palm your pussy just to find out you have no panties on. A smirk appeared in the corner of his mouth but didn’t comment on the surprise, just stroked his fingers along your already wet lips making you even wetter as his fingertips circled your entrance. None of you saw what he was doing as the skirt part of your dress has covered both your lower half and his hands, and this just doubled your excitement feeling how skillful he is. By now he more or less knows your own body as well as you do.

Holding onto his shoulders you leaned your forehead against his as he expertly pushed two fingers inside you, starting fingering you slowly. His motions were sensual and you whined and writhed on his hand already regretting that you let him do this to you making you just more aroused, aching for feeling something bigger inside.  

You felt yourself close to cum on his fingers and that reminded you why you are here in the first place. A part of you wanted to go on to chase that first orgasm, but another part of you wanted to fuel your anger that feeds upon your betrayed heart, even if you’re perfectly aware that it’s not Ashton’s fault, he just grabbed the opportunity your agreement provided for him.

Reaching down you got hold of his hand and without explaining yourself, slowly pushed it away while your other hand let go of his shoulder as you slightly rose on your knees to reach behind you and take his cock in your hand, pump it a few times and finally position him right under your entrance. As you slowly and carefully sat yourself back on him, the incomparable feeling of his shaft stretching you engulfed you making you throw your head back with a half-suffocated whine torn out of your throat. He slipped his hands under your dress to grab onto your butt and a low ‘Fuck’ left his mouth when he felt how deep he is inside you as you went all the way down to make him bottom out.

“The way you take me…” escaped his lips and you just bit on your lower lip as you weren’t exactly in a chatty mood, but his compliments and praises always appealed to you.

Your hands found their support on the back of his biceps as you started fucking him with a quick and harsh zest, grinding your hips on his for getting the most friction you can just have. You were bouncing up and down on his cock and he watched your clothed breasts precisely follow the intensity of your movements, your hard nipples darting out the fabric of the dress, sweat fallen down your spine. You could see in the way he looked at your heaving chest that he’s fighting the urge to touch your tits, to get them out of the cruel imprisonment of your dress.

However your own completion wasn’t priority in this current situation yet you got closer and closer to it and listening to Ash’s groans and the way he was taking breath, he was close too and his voice always added to your own pleasure, it could singlehandedly push you over that particular edge. As your moans got louder and more frequent, your arms wrapped around his neck, your temple pushed against his, and you gave yourself in to the feeling; his hands on your butt and his own moans in your ear encouraged you to let go. As your walls started to squeeze around his thick cock, your climax washed over you; closing your eyes, one of your hands slid down to the side of his neck as your lips brushed against his ear. In that moment his fingertips pushed into the soft flesh of your butt, his lips captured your earlobe, teeth slightly scratching the skin as he released his cum inside of you followed by a faint groan.

Your hips slowed down to a full stop and you two spent a few moments in silence to catch your breaths, foreheads touching and only your heavy breathing could be heard in the soundproof room. You rose just enough to pull him out and sat back on his lap.

“Now would you tell me what this was really about?” his index finger reached under your chin to gently tilt your head in order for your eyes to meet his gaze.

“Do you… erm... Are you seeing someone? I mean besides me” you don’t know what he could hear out of your voice but it sounded sad and ashamed even for you.

“No” came the surprised but firm and peremptory response immediately.

“Ash… I know I have absolutely no right…”

“No, I’m not lying to you. I’m not seeing anyone.”

“Then who was that girl you had breakfast with at the Breakfast House this morning?” you left a few seconds time for him to react but he was just staring at you like someone who had been caught, so you continued. “By the way, she’s beautiful, really. And I know I have absolutely no ground to even ask this from you since we agreed on no rules. But… Fuck it, it’s all the same now. A few weeks ago I started just realizing that I think of you more often. I’ve been out and saw something and my first thought was that ‘Ash would like this’. I tried to coerce these thoughts because you and I both hurt enough, but I had to admit, at least to myself, that I want you. I want more of you… not just the sex” you shyly played with the bottom of his t-shirt, but as you looked back up at him, you could see his lips slowly forming into a smile.

“Are you jealous?”

“Maybe I am, yes” your eyes poured out lightnings seeing that reckless and smug smile spreading on his face.

“You know, you’re not wrong. She’s really beautiful, indeed. She grew out to be a gorgeous woman,” his smile just grew bigger as he saw your puzzled expression. “But she’s my sister, Y/N.”

“Lauren Rose?”

“She’s here to visit some friends, and it turned out I could be grateful that she found a few hours in her strict schedule to meet his older brother at all” he chuckled.

“I’m an idiot” you leaned your forehead against his collarbone.

“No you’re not” he reached for your hand and intertwined your fingers. This is the very first time you two did this. And weirdly it feels incredibly intimate now. “Actually… I have no idea how much longer I could have waited to confess the same feelings to you… feelings I also carried for weeks now.”

“Why- why didn’t you say anything?” you asked in awe as your thumb drew soft circles on his hand.

“You seemed so persistent on the no relationship thing that I thought if I bring this up, I’ll lose you. And that was the last thing I wanted to risk…” hearing this confession your hand reached out to caress his face and you leaned in to kiss him gently. “I didn’t want to lose this… whatever we have. What do we have, Y/N?”

“Each other, I guess” you smile at him. “So… can we give this… us a chance?

“I’d like it very much. And you know what else I’d like? To take you out on a date. A real date.”

“I’d be very much into that. After changing into something drier. And cleaner…” hearing that he kisses into your neck smiling.

“Are you free tonight?” he grinned.

“I don’t know… I’ll ask my boyfriend. He’s a famous rockstar, you know…” you cupped his face in your hands and immersed in a gentle kiss that meant a new beginning for both of you.

[eerythingisshaka]

Always

[Yahya Abdul-Mateen II & Reader]

Word Count: 3k

A/N:  I was reminded of a music video that captivated me when I was younger.  This dude named Paolo Nutini made a song called Candy and the video followed a wedding from party to the couples night.  So I got inspired to do this fluffy angsty thing.

“And welcome to the floor, Mr. and Mrs. Abdul-Mateen!!”

Your loved ones explode in cheers and applause as you and Yahya enter hand in hand into the hall.  Spotlights find you both, making you shield your eyes but your giddiness could not be quelled by anything at that moment.  You feel Yahya’s hand squeeze yours tighter, and you see him smiling wide down at you.

The crowd is still raucous but all other sounds mute as you see his lips move to say,  “You ready, baby?”

Your cheeks ache with happiness as he takes you by your waist and lands a smooch on you that nearly knocks you off your feet.  He even had the nerve to get sloppy with tongue which you knew was all for show because sloppy is not a part of his vocabulary.

“Alright bride and groom, come over to the table of honor so we can get toasts started!”  Your cousin you hired as emcee instructs over the intercom to break up the PDA.

Yahya pulls away, wiping his mouth and faking embarrassment as he leads you by the hand to your throne at the head of the main table.

Seeing the smiling faces of your whole family fills your heart as you take your seats.  Feeling your eyes well up, you pull the folded napkin off your plate to carefully blot the tears away.

Yahya lays an arm across your shoulders whispering in your ear, “You alright?”

You nod wordlessly, patting his leg for confirmation.  

“Aww, aren’t they the cutest couple everyone!  We haven’t even gotten to the speeches yet and you’re bawling.  Girl don’t mess up my beat on you!”  Your cousin had also helped with your makeup last minute when the artist arrived an hour and 17 minutes late (you kept count).

You wave your napkin at her to continue as Yahya popped the champagne bottle chilled in front of you, causing yet another whoop from your families.  Yahya fist pumps as he pours it expertly into yours and his glasses.  Your cousin continues the evening with a musical selection and eventually toasts.

Both sides of your families seemed to have their fair share of comedians.  

“It’s about time someone made an honest man out of him!  And the fact he doesn’t mind that you’re cuter than him, sends me!”  his sister guffaws with the crowd at this crack.

Yahya just shrugs, holding you close next to him.

“It’s true!”  You say under your breath.

“You may be cuter, but I still beat you in fashion, hands down,” he retorts.

You sit up and point to yourself.  “My titties are SITTING.  This hair?  LAID.  My dress?  EXPENSIVE and DESIGNER.”

Yahya rolls his eyes.  “See what you did?  Talk.  While my fit speaks for itself.”

You pick up your champagne glass and level it right under his nose.  “Negro, I have half a mind to toss this drink in your face.”

Yahya grabs his glass, wrapping his arm through yours to take a drink while tipping the bottom of yours toward your mouth.

“And that concludes our toasts!  To the happy couple!”  

You peer at him as he winks at you, taking a slow sip.  Eventually you both take a bow and are ushered over to take pictures in the garden area as the DJ spins and the buffet is opened.

The mid afternoon sun was gorgeous against the lush greenery of the environment.

“You still want to take pictures with me?  Since I can’t dress worth a damn,”  you say in a pitiful tone.

Yahya waves at the photographer.  “What’re you talking about?”

You kiss your teeth.  “How quickly you forget.  Can’t wait to celebrate our anniversary with that memory of yours.”

The photographer greets you both.  “Congrats guys.  You both look splendid and beautiful and so in love, I could just add you to my Netflix list.”

“Thank you.  Where do you want us?”  Yahya asks.

The photographer points toward an archway that looks like heaven’s light is misting through it.  As you both walk hand in hand up to it, you put on the funk extra hard.

“Now don’t forget to smile real big for me guys.  Really revel in the love!”

Yahya and you both smile for some traditional shots, your impatience ticking up with each click of the shutter.  The photographer directs you to look at each other and Yahya wraps his arms around your waist as you wrap your around his neck.

“Perfect guys, even got the ring glowing,” the photographer says.

Yahya looks at you with mischievous eyes and an expression like he is holding back a laugh.

You roll your eyes.  “Nothing’s funny.”

“You are.”

“It’s not supposed to be.  How you gonna tell me I’m ugly on the biggest day of my life?”

“Did I ever say you ugly?  In fact I remember confirming that you are cute.”

“And then swiftly saying I dress badly.  What bride wants to hear that?”

His fingers run up and down your spine as he sways from side to side, leading you into his rhythm.

“You know what?  I gotta say it cuz it’s only right.  I am sorry.”  Yahya says genuinely.

You sigh deeply.  “Thank you.”

“I’m sorry I called you cute…”

“YAHYA!”  You yelp, pulling his ear and making him wince.

“Aww, that’s cute guys.  Playful, I like it!”  The photographer naively encourages you.

“Ow ow!  Ok ok, listen, stop!”  Yahya begs until you let go of his lobe.  Yahya massages his abused ear and continues.

“I mean I shouldn’t say you’re cute because you’re not.  You are...so fine.”

“Oh...shut up.”  You say in annoyance.

Yahya holds you closer, gaze lingering on your face.  “You are the sexiest woman I have ever laid eyes on.”

“Whatever,” you say in a less aggressive tone.

“And although I would compliment a woman’s mind before their body, yours keeps me distracted from being able to form cohesive thought, and I do apologize for my ways.”

You naturally rub the back of his head, growing softer in his arms.  “...Don’t apologize for that.”

Yahya shakes his head, moaning an old spiritual groan.  “Noooo ma’am, I must.  I am a gentleman at most times, but you bring out a side I can’t shake that is otherwise.  And I only say what I said about your clothes because you look best with them off of you.”

You snicker and push away as Yahya laughs out loud at your shyness. 

“Come on back here.  You done started something, if you’re not in front of me, our photographer is gonna capture a big moment we can’t show our family in the album.”

You feel exactly what  he means, holding his face in your hands as you shake your head.  “You dirty bastard.”

“That’s your fault, don’t blame me!” 

You pull him in for a kiss, becoming intoxicated with his spirit.  The things that annoy you can be the same things that pull you out of a funk and you love that about him.  His smile, his humor, his sex appeal without even trying and it was all for you until death do you part.

“Gorgeous!  Incredible!  Steamy!”  The photographer cheers, snapping you out of the intimate trance you were under, but Yahya could barely stop himself.

“Save it for later baby,”  you tell him in a husky tone, biting your lip over your over naughtiness.

You wipe your lipstick off his lips as he says, “I love you, sweetheart.  Always.”

“I love you.  Always,” you parrot back.

By the time you both are back in the hall, the part is jumping as your family and friends had their fill of food and drink, stepping to the choreography of the Wobble.  The DJ cut the song prematurely to announce the cutting of the cake as Yahya grabbed the knife to cut a sliver and guide it to your mouth.  You took a humble bite as the crowd applauds while you cut him a piece.  Yahya’s smile lights up as you hold out his piece before shoving it into his lips and nose.  The attendees gasp and laugh as the photographer captures the moment of cake being smashed on Yahya’s perfect grin.  He is stunned but recovers gracefully, licking some cake off his lips.  You clap for him, reaching for a napkin to help clean him but suddenly your body is pulled into his as he plants a kiss on you, making sure to transfer some cake onto you, generating even more laughter from your guests.  

You couldn’t help but laugh into him as he dramatically moves his face around yours, bumping your nose with his and parting to see his masterpiece.  You both laugh out loud, until finally cleaning your fun away and making it to the dance floor for your first dance.  

You can’t keep your eyes off of each other as your song As by Stevie Wonder came on over the speakers.  The floating nature of the opening verse makes you feel even more like you’re in a dream.  Yahya can’t keep his mouth still, singing along with the lyrics and holding you closer than his own skin.  When the chorus picks up, Yahya leads your two step, spinning you around to show you off, hands reaching a little lower than you would usually want in front of family but you didn’t care at all.  You made sure to get your solo dance in front of him, shaking your titties and throwing ass on your husband without shame.

Eventually your families joined the dance floor, surrounding you both with congratulations.  As the night wore on, it was time to head off for the evening.  You both were sent off with well wishes as the DJ continues to spin.  Your ride waited outside as you waved and ran to the backseat to be driven to your hotel.

The quiet of the car was odd coming straight out of the party.  Your ears rang a little bit and you finally felt the effects of walking around in heels for hours, kicking them off.

Yahya looks over at your feet, pulling your leg up on his lap to rub your feet.  “You tired?”

You lean back taking a deep breath.  “A little.  You?”

Yahya shrugs.  “I could stay up a little longer.”  He smirks at you in a sneaky way that tells you everything you need to know.

You chuckle, patting his arm.  “I know baby, we will.  Ooh, just keep rubbing like that.”

“That feels good?”  Yahya asks, get right at the soft pad under your toes. 

“Ohhh, yes!”  You moan, sinking into your seat with pleasure.

“Excuse me!  Sex in the cab is prohibited.  Please refrain.  And congratulations,”  the driver says.

You and Yahya share a glance before chuckling at the driver’s mistake.  “We got you sir, don’t worry about it.  Just can’t keep my hands off my wife.”  Yahya responds, taking your other foot onto his lap.

Arriving at the room of your hotel was an obstacle course.  The dress and veil is a dead giveaway for strangers to take the time to yell congrats at you both.  A wave of relief wash over you as Yahya begins to insert the key and opens the door for you.  You start to walk in but he blocks you.

“What?  I have to pee, come on,”  you hop on your bare feet, whining.

Yahya tosses your shoes inside before looking at you like a disappointed parent.  

“You just wanna ruin tradition, huh?  As a man I have to carry my lady over the threshold.”

“This isn’t our house or something!  It’s just the hotel, carry me later.  I have to go, please!”

“Aight, come on.”  Yahya bends to scoop you up making you yelp in surprise.

“Dammit, you’re gonna make me pee more!”  You squeeze your legs tight and his head tighter as he walks you in.

“I love my baby, pee and all!”  he sets you down but you practically jump out of his arms to the bathroom.  Hiking up your dress, you plant down and release gratefully.  A box sits on the counter across from you  with a ribbon on it that intrigues you.  Finishing, you get up to open the top to see a frisky negligee and thong set.

You shake your head, picking up the barely there clothing and smiling to yourself over what Yahya must’ve looked like having this picked out ahead of time.  Feeling for the zipper on your dress, you get ready to change.  

“Baby!  The alcohol is getting cold, hurry up!  HA!”  Yahya laughs in glee, twisting the corkscrew in to work it open.  With a pop, he got the glasses filled with some wine.

You open the bathroom door and see him shirtless, pouring the drinks.  The room is dead quiet except for the glug of the liquid and you get caught up in his physique.  It’s not the first time, but you feel renewed any time you see him from behind.  The sculpt of each isolated muscle that embedded his back down to the dips above the waist of his pants barely hanging onto his hips.  Although the glasses weigh practically nothing, his arms flexed as if he was keeping the world rotating on its axis.  

When he turns to see you, his body tenses, mouth half hanging open.  He stumbles to set down the wine as his eyes refuse to leave your direction.  You feel so many hormones rushing through your body, it's hard to concentrate on what’s to happen next.  It feels like pins are dancing across your skin as excitement works its effects on you, a primal need for him to touch you whilst keeping your distance.

“You look…”  Yahya’s voice trails off.

“I can dress now, huh?  But you picked it out, so points to you,”  you say cooly as you walk over to the waiting glass of wine, bringing it up to your lips as you watch him watch you.  

“It’s the best of both worlds: that color on you is spectacular but leaves nothing to the imagination.”  Yahya paws at the lace that cups your breast, not quite touching you.  You feel your body pull toward him under his light touch, wanting more but you refuse yourself.  Looking over at the bed you see the rose petals scattered across the duvet.

“Aww, you decorated?”  You walk over to pick up a petal, feeling it’s softness under your fingertips.  His hands snake across your stomach, pulling you backwards a bit so that you feel his desire.

Your breath hitches in your throat, resting your hands over his  while your hips back into him.

“That’s not the only thing I want on this bed.”  Yahya growls into your ear, palming your breast roughly as you feel your body bend over for him.

You’re breathing hard as your body pulsates under his touch, naturally seeking the release he so wants to provide.

“Wait, move a second.”  You override your senses to push away from under him, crawling across the bed to sit on the other end.  The curtains on the windows still show the city lights in the distance for you to stare into.

“Something wrong?”  He asks.

You feel yourself cooling as you get your thoughts together.  “The city is gorgeous, ain’t it...Yahya?”  

“Yeah it’s nice but what’s on your mind?”  Yahya asks, crawling over the bed behind you.

You shrug.  “It’s just crazy after all this planning, it’s done.  This is it: married life.”  You look over your shoulder at him and smirk.

“Well this isn’t all of it yet,”  he says, kissing your shoulder, up to your neck.  You hold his head, leaning into his lips as his hands reach your waist to pull you back onto the bed.

He pulls your negligee over your head as you lay back, enjoying his mouth grazing every inch of skin, feeling the pull of your underwear as he works his lips down your belly.

“You love me?”  You ask breathlessly as your legs lift for him to finish undressing you completely.  He looks over your fully exposed form with hunger, running his hands over your thighs.

“I love you, more than you know.”  

You reach for the button of pants, helping him take off the unnecessary clothes.  As he crawls up to meet between you, you feel your body tense up again.

“I got you.”  Yahya says softly, kissing your breasts again.

You claw the width of his back as you feel him tease against you.  Your legs wrap around him.

“God, I love you so much, baby.”  You moan under him, bringing his face to yours, taking him into you for the first time as man and wife.  

“You still taste sweet,”  you observe from the remnants of cake he ate earlier.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have reminded me about that.  I’m gonna get you back for real now.”

You gleefully accept your fate as Yahya pushes your body's pleasure to its edge.  You become one in a new way that shakes you up as he washes away every doubt and worry with each stroke.  You tasted his ecstasy on your tongue and you welcomed it warmly.  You both had never said I love you so much in one night as you had then, taking in each other's devotion completely, climaxing quicker than you ever had.  If this was married life, you could get used to it.

The next morning, the sun bathes you both in a soft glow, waking you.  You see the half drank wine on the table across from you and the discarded clothing littering the floor.  Yahya’s arms pins you to the bed as you feel the urge to pee.  Grabbing his wrist, you hear him groan.

“Don’t you dare leave me in this bed alone.”  Yahya says sleepily, pulling you in tighter.

You look back at him amused.  “But I have to pee.”

“Again?  Damn.  I’m starting to think you're just trying to run away from me.”

You turn over to look at him, eyes closed with a dramatic frown.  You smack his face playfully.

“Hey.  Runaway bride is before the vows.  It’s too late for me to do that now.” 

He peeks one eye open at you.  “You damn right.  You my woman now, hitched!  Got it?”  

“And you my man, you hear me Yahya Abdul-Mateen II?”   You say, getting up to scurry to the toilet.

“That’s right Mrs. Abdul-Mateen!  Madly in love!  Head over heels...like how I had your heels over your head last night...”

Masterlist

[smolbeandrabbles]

Be Kind - Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody x Reader (Animal Kingdom)

GIF CREDIT: X

@mandy23b​ @wltz-bby​ @happyskywhale​ #mendotagsquad

Andrew Cody + 65 -  “I don’t want you to stop” Requested by @mandy23b​

Author’s Note: Was Andrew also the last S/V I finished? Not that he’s the last I posted of either this or those! It’s cuz I really need to focus. Thank you for letting me talk through ideas for your own request Amanda. I know you saw the scenarios as separate, but I think I found a good way to meld them! 😁🙏💙 I hope you enjoy!!

I also hope that the GIF choice is satisfactory! 😉😉 This is the “Gratitude” of this request challenge - there is 12 lines of dialogue. That’s it!

Disclaimer: Animal Kingdom characters not mine / lyrics not mine / gifs not mine

Premise: Andrew’s never really been the affectionate one, this you know. But it’s starting to get worse, and you’re starting to second guess yourself...

Words: 2494

Warnings: N/A no I really mean it!

______

Wanna believe, wanna believe That you don't have a bad bone in your body But the bruises on your ego make you go wild, wild, wild, yeah Wanna believe, wanna believe That even when you're stone cold, you're sorry Tell me why you gotta be so out of your mind, yeah

I know you're chokin' on your fears Already told you I'm right here I will stay by your side every night

I know you need, I know you need The upper hand even when we aren't fighting 'Cause in the past, you had to prepare every time, yeah Don't wanna leave, don't wanna leave But if you're gonna fight then do it for me I know you're built to love, but broken now, so just try, yeah

I know it's hard for you, but it's not fair Going sick in the head tryna get you there And I know it's hard for you, but it's not fair It's not fair

I don't know why you hide from the one And close your eyes to the one Mess up and lie to the one that you love When you know you can cry to the one Always confide in the one You can be kind to the one that you love

---

The ride was quiet. These days that wasn’t unusual – especially as you and Andrew were the only ones in the car. He could pretend that he was concentrating on driving, and you could pretend you were analysing the job in your mind. Andrew had never really been one to celebrate your success quite like his brothers did, maybe they’d raise a small smile out of him; there’d be an element of ‘joy’ there somewhere and you could revel with them. If they weren’t in the other car heading home then at least they would deflect from the silence a little, even if your own cheer would have been half hearted. He pulled his car into your drive and waited a few moments before shutting the engine off. “Well. We’re home.” “Mhm.” You opened the car door pulling your keys from your pocket, the other boys would meet up with you later and then you’d figure out the split – but they left you and Andrew alone for anything they might assume you’d be doing. Just thinking on that as you unlocked your house made you scoff, as if this man would show you any kind of affection. You didn’t even look back at him as you opened the door and threw your keys onto the counter before taking off up the corridor dejectedly. Andrew closed the door behind him and watched you wander up to the bedroom without looking back. He tipped his head quizzically as you slipped through the door and quickly closed it without a sound. Seconds ticked by and became minutes and Andrew stayed by the door, still staring at the spot you’d disappeared from – listening to nothing but the ticking of the clock, he found himself frowning, maybe you’d be getting changed? Maybe you’d come back and join him – maybe you needed space. But he couldn’t imagine why. You never wanted space after a job, usually you wanted nothing more than to be as close to Andrew as possible. He blinked a few times, frown really setting in as he furrowed his eyebrows; not quite understanding, but knowing he probably didn’t grasp the complexity of emotions enough to ever fully comprehend the way you felt. Andrew took a breath and turned the opposite direction to you – you’d be back, he was sure about that. *** The problem was never the way Andrew was, you knew how he was. Andrew was unresponsive to most forms of affection you showed him. It was easier to wait for him to come to you – truthfully, just a brush against you was enough to know he cared. After all, Andrew was so meticulous you didn’t think he even knew how to do anything ‘accidently’. Usually when a job was over and you were still running an adrenaline high – happy that you’d been successful, and of course that both of you were safe, you liked you celebrate with him. Of course his version of celebration wasn’t to throw a party, but he would accept your happiness. You gave your love to him unconditionally – you didn’t expect much in return from him. After jobs was always a good time to sit with Andrew and cuddle him to you; maybe it was about making sure he really was okay; that you could feel his heartbeat, that if you squeezed him tight and he wasn’t wincing then he wasn’t hurt. That when you brushed your lips over his skin and ran your hands over him you could check for cuts and bruises – perhaps scars that weren’t healing. And whilst you were checking on him, you could also love on him. Andrew usually sat there and let you do whatever you wished; he didn’t stop you, he would hold you, sometimes he’d nuzzle gently against your warm skin, and if you were extremely lucky you might draw something akin to a delicate moan from his lips. But these things were only occasional – and only happened at the best of times. The past few jobs you’d been back from, Andrew hadn’t even wanted to put his arms around you, and more than once he’d simply slipped you from his lap and moved on elsewhere. You were trying not to let it get to you, but it was hard. You knew that his relationship experience was scarce, you knew that Andrew wasn’t wired like everyone else and you accepted that as part and parcel. You loved him anyway. If you were honest you weren’t sure you’d ever loved anyone the way you loved him. But it still hurt when he walked away. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t feel like he was slipping away from you – it was the thing you were most anxious of. You couldn’t lose him – and you didn’t know who he would be without you. It was getting to you now. You felt stupid for even thinking it, yet at the same time, he knew what he could be around you. When you were alone, and it was quiet in the middle of the night Andrew Cody could love you. He could say I love you and yet never need utter a word. His body fit so perfectly with yours that there was no way this could be wrong. He wasn’t who they said he was – but you were afraid that he was acting like it. Maybe you were too much for him. You would understand that, you supposed, if Andrew just said something about it. But he didn’t. If he told you to stop, you would – and you knew Andrew enough to know he was capable of doing so. Maybe as his partner you were supposed to read the signs, maybe he was too polite to tell you because of who you were. It didn’t make sense that he would let you keep doing it after that. Maybe Andrew was undecided – he didn’t know what he wanted. That would make sense, for someone who had never been in this situation enough to really understand himself in a relationship. Still, that communication would allow you to discover together – maybe a little bit of cuddling was okay, but over and over again was too much for his liking? And instead of wanting to tell you to stop he simply left you on the couch. Confusing you wasn’t going to help any situation. Confused and hurt, and maybe even upset – you didn’t want to call yourself angry… or jealous? Your concern was perhaps Andrew felt you were smothering him. His mother certainly did enough of that – and it left you uneasy that you recognised some of your behaviours in her. Andrew never seemed at ease when she was all over him – and you were second guessing if he was really comfortable with you, or if you only thought he was because you wanted him to be. What if he wasn’t? What if this was all your fault?  Still he never moved her, never ever, he just let Smurf carry on like it wasn’t an issue, even when it was blatantly obvious to you that it was. And she ignored his body language completely – the unease in his face, the tension cutting across his shoulders and keep his back near dead straight – usually you would have pointed it out, you used to point it out. Yet he was leaving you now and still letting her sit on him, arms around him for hours at a time. What happened Andrew…? Why can’t we be like that? What went wrong? What did I do wrong? All going to their house did now was leave you disheartened; seeing Smurf with him did nothing but pain you more. None of the questions you were asking yourself were good anymore – and you just couldn’t shut them out. Why bother giving Andrew any affection if he didn’t want it? Or was the real question why wouldn’t he let you love him? *** Andrew didn’t knock when he finally decided to wander back up to you. He’d given up sitting and waiting – staring at a blank television screen with nothing but his thoughts was no fun. Something was off, he knew that, and his concern for you compelled him to check in. He paused as soon as the door opened, tilting his head. You were sitting curled up on the bed, knees up, head tucked in, arms around yourself. For half a second Andrew was worried that you were crying; but he’d never seen you cry before. He didn’t think you’d start now – maybe you would, maybe you had been crying; as he listened it was clear that you weren’t anymore. He nudged the door closed with his foot and walked slowly towards you, eyes searching you for every sign you could give him about what was wrong.  Andrew sat beside you, but you didn’t move – not even when you could feel his eyes on you; possibly not quite as an intense stare as you were used to. You weren’t ready to raise your eyes to him yet. You heard him take a deep breath, and the way he shuffled to get more comfortable on the bed; his arm brushed yours – which was just about as significant as he could get. You’d only just reminded yourself; Andrew didn’t do accidental.   He drew his eyes around the room, as if the answers he sought might be here. Andrew knew better than that; he would only get solutions from you – so he settled them back on your form. “Y/N.” You lifted your head to him; looking more perplexed that he would even be here, than willing to talk to him. Andrew was relieved that you didn’t look upset – even more so that you didn’t seem to have been crying. All you gave him was silence, and he swallowed. “Talk to me.” Your eyes left his and you hugged your knees closer, resting your chin on them – you weren’t sure what you could say. Right now a million emotions were chasing themselves around your head, you didn’t want to talk at the moment that the wrong one was surfacing and get angry at him. You also didn’t want to show him that he could get to you; although you supposed it was fairly obvious by now. Faced with yet more silence Andrew tipped his head; talking wasn’t exactly his forte – but it seemed like he’d have to take the lead here. “You didn’t come and sit with me… you haven’t for the last couple of jobs we’ve worked. Why?” You noticed that ‘sit’ was the word he used, as if you’d just be sitting together like this. The bluntness of his words was fairly usual, yet they hit you differently today. Part of you wished he’d never asked. Did he not realise? You slid your knees down but still didn’t look at him. You couldn’t hold that stare for long; “You want me to stop. You can’t want me to do this, or you’d be more responsive.” Andrew drew back slightly, slow blinking. Is that what you thought? You knew him better than that, you must have known him better than that. “I just…” you opted to continue, with a shrug, “I wanted to give you space.” Andrew shook his head firmly, and his hand reached for yours. It might not have been PDA, but it was a deliberate display of affection and your eyes shot back to meet his. The blue was still intense, but the confused panic behind that beautiful colour was foreign; “I don’t want you to stop.” His voice remained firm, more like a command. You bit your lip, and despite the fact that you were fighting how upset you were, you laced your fingers with his – craving the intimacy Andrew was giving you. You held his hand tight – never wanting to let him go; “But it hurts, and I know it’s hard for you, but it just hurts…” He was never going to be the kind of man who treated you the same way you’d seen your friend’s boyfriends treat them. You knew that; but there was a difference between his stoic affections and not responding at all. And currently even Andrew must see that he’s the latter. “Do you not understand?” He leant forward, touching his forehead to yours, “You think I mind this? From you? I know you’ll respect my space when I need it…” His free hand cupped your face and he gently moved you to look into his eyes again, “What I get from you is exactly what I need. When I need it.” Andrew’s head dipped again, and his voice softened; “You know me. You know you know me.” “I know.” You agreed, “I just can’t lose you, Andrew. And sometimes I worry that I will.” His eyes searched yours in the elongated silence. You won’t stopped before it managed to leave his lips, because Andrew was once more trying to figure out the way your brain was processing his actions. Instead he said nothing, but you weren’t sure he really needed to. Andrew’s nonverbal’s were his better form of communication; and his thumb continued to brush over your cheek. “I’m-” He shook his head before you could say another word, hand moving from your face to your shoulder, pulling your body into his. You gasped, feeling your eyes begin to smart. Squeezing them firmly shut to stop tears from falling, you wound your arms around him and held him close, and so tight. Burying your face in Andrew’s neck you inhaled his scent and your fingers dug into his shirt, attempting to pull him into you as if it was possible for him to be closer. Andrew placed a hand to the back of your head, resting his head against yours you could feel his breaths cross your skin. You brought your legs up, sitting halfway on the bed and half on him as you snuggled further into his body, placing a single kiss to his collarbone. You wouldn’t put yourself all over him today – not until he asked it of you. Andrew let out a soft sound; akin to a laugh but as far as you could get from the real thing. His arms held you a little stronger than they had before, proving to you that he was here, that Andrew was just as invested in this embrace as you were. His breathing was relaxed, and there was no tension running through his body as you held him – Andrew had let his guard down with you, if only for a little. With you was the one place he could; the one place he allowed himself to. Here in your arms he could be comfortable and warm – and make sure that you were too. You shouldn’t have to worry. He’d never leave, Andrew couldn’t leave. Because he loved you… he loves you. More than anything. Even if he couldn’t say it; Andrew Cody was glad that sometimes, at least, he could show you. ---

9/16 - A’right! It’s countdown time!!

Thank you for reading! 💙

This man has served me pretty well since March, I have to say... And according to my draft forecast, you haven’t seen the last of him 😉

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #302

“heaven ain’t close in a place like this”

What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. What's your favorite type of milk? If we're talking the basics, ig 1% is fine. What would you change about your appearance if you could? Oh, hunny, you got time for an essay? What would you change about your bedroom if you could? I need to fucking finish decorating it... It's not finished by no fault but my own laziness. Are you rich or poor? We're definitely pretty poor. Are you double jointed? I don't think so. What's the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? I once had a large infected cyst that had to be drained by applying pressure to it, and I swear to Christ I don't know how I didn't faint. They gave me morphine and multiple numbing shots, but none of that did SHIT. I'm not even embarrassed by the fact I was shrieking and sobbing and swearing because I'm pretty fucking sure any sane person would've cried out many times. I'm convinced they either didn't numb me enough for someone of my size back then, or I should've just gone under for it. I have no words for how painful it really was. Do you like shots? Uh, given that nobody LIKES getting a shot with a needle, I'm going to assume you mean like, taking shots of alcohol, in which case I've never tried, but I can almost absolutely guarantee you I'd hate them. I hate the taste of alcohol (hence why I only drink sweet and weak stuff), sooooo, I've got my doubts I'd enjoy something so potent. Are you afraid of spiders? Yes and no? Small ones don't tend to get to me, and I LOVE tarantulas. Big spiders are absolutely fascinating and I love *watching* them, but if I was surprised by a sudden spider, I'm going to probably cry out and jump/scramble away. But on a real note, respect your spiders, whether they scare you or not. They are so important to the ecosystem. See one in the house, take it outside if you can. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to something? To some earrings, yes. I have to wear ones that don't have silver in them. Do you like to read? Yeah, but not nearly as much as I did as a kid. I'm even slacking on WoF lately... Do you know what your purpose in life is? *SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* BITCH I WISH I KNEW What's something you would like to improve at? Not being a socially anxious catastrophe. Do you believe you have great potential? Everybody does. You just have to use it. What is the most beautiful scenery you have ever beheld? Probably the mountains when driving to Tennessee. Or New York? I really can't recall either so clearly as to have a favorite. Are you flexible? Noooot anymore. Back in my WiiFit days, I was a gotdamn snake. List a song lyric that you like. Oh Jesus, don't make me think. Uhhhhh there's so many. Flipping through artists in my head with lyrics I tend to love, there's Otep with: "hey, hey, NRA, how many kids did you kill today?". Simple, but spine-chilling to me. Huh, time to listen to it actually, lol. That song murders me with the goosebumps. Do you meditate? No; I can't. You can't tell me to "free my mind," man. It's way too hectic at all times up there. What's one place you've been to that you want to visit again? I'd love to go back to Chicago one night when I actually learn how to do nighttime urban photography. What's one place you want to go that you've never visited before? I always answer "South Africa" to questions like this, so for variety's sake, I'll say the Bahamas. But a conspiratory bitch is afraid of the Bermuda Triangle, so... lmao. What's your favorite type of tree? I like big, impressive weeping willows. How many times have you seriously injured yourself? Only two occasions I can think of immediately. Maybe there's more, but idk. Did you attend Sunday School as a child? Yeah, even though I hated it. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Maybe a little passed the small of my back? What about the shortest? (not including being a toddler or baby): How it is now and has been for a couple years: shaved short on the left side, and it transitions to a length near my chin as you go to the right. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? I did, and I played the flute. I'd choose the saxophone if I could go back. Who does the grocery shopping in your household? Well, it's just Mom and me, so her. If you were to donate to charity today, what would you donate to? One that focuses on ovarian cancer for Mom. What is your favorite card game and when was the last time you played it? Even though I was never great at it or knew every single rule, "Magic: The Gathering" is honestly really fun, and I loved looking at the card art. I haven't played it since I was with Jason, so at least five-six years. Would you consider yourself to be good at spelling and grammar? Yeah, but I've somehow gotten worse with time???? I question the spelling and tenses of words I write a lot. What is your favourite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times): Probably like, chocolate rabbits. NOT hollow. Way to break my heart. Or gingerbread cookies. What was the last chocolate bar you ate? I think a Hershey's? It was a while ago. Who was the last person you talked to on Skype/video chat? I was in a Zoom session with multiple people for my partial hospitalization program. Have you ever dreamt about sleeping with someone other than your partner? If so, did that make you feel embarrassed? I've never had a dream like this while in a relationship. The last time you had butterflies in your stomach, what was the reason? I have no idea. Has anyone told you that they miss you recently? No. Has anyone ever asked you out or told you that they liked you, and you rejected them? Can you explain why you didn’t like, or didn’t feel attracted to that person? There was this one guy in the 4th grade who asked me if I would go out with him so much it almost became like a joke. I just... didn't like him like that. Then there's Juan; I'd just been warned that he had a bad rep by a very reliable adult, and the idea of dating him was kinda... intimidating anyway. Plus he was a smoker, which was and still is a no-no for me. What part in a movie would you love to play? The clinically insane villain or something because I feel with my history, I could channel that very well IF I actually wanted to act in the first place. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba walks up Pride Rock in the rain and roars and all the lionesses join in. Chilling. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Candy corn is repulsive. What was the highlight of your day? My mom was raving to one of my therapists in the PHP about my art and how badly she wants me to just get everything out there. I was smiling really big but looking down with how shy but also flattered it made me. Do you know anyone who is anorexic? I don't think so. Who has hurt you the most this year? Ha, myself. What's the last insult someone said to you? Hm. How much did your car cost? N/A What is the last picture you received on your phone of? Uhhh Mom mighta sent me a meme or Sara showed me a drawing someone made of Suriza, I think. Have you ever let someone go because you thought they deserved better? No, though I've felt that way before. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now? I'm still not over the fact Dad was a druggie before me and my sisters, apparently. It's almost like... hurtful in some weird way? Idk exactly why, it's just something I know I feel. What do you hear right now? I have Motionless In White's cover of "Somebody Told Me" playing in another tab. Do you do anything to help the environment? I do what I can as someone who isn't financially independent and reliant on another person for transportation. I won't litter for anything (and this includes shit like letting balloons go in the air, fucking stop), I'm trying to use my metal straw always in place of plastic, and to use less plastic bags, I try to spread out the times I clean Roman's litterbox to a few days; not to the point it's disgusting or uncomfortable for him, of course, though. Three days without is pretty much max. When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Ha, a little while ago... I was trying to avoid eating the two last biscuits Mom made for dinner 'cuz I really gotta lay off the carbs, but Mom "joked" that "it's your birthday, you get to do whatever you want," so I kinda just said fuck it lmao. Do you think that you have a pretty smile? No, because my eyes squint badly, and I also hate my teeth. When's the last time you cried over a guy? A few days ago a little bit, actually. I was reminiscing too much and recalling some of the warmest memories. Are you scared to lose the person you fell the hardest for? I already did. Oh well. Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now? Yep. Do you have any friends that actually model? No. Do you care about the last person you kissed? A fucking lot. Do they care about you? Yes. Is there someone you wish you were with right now? Yes, just because of past birthday memories. I keep hoping a "happy birthday Britt" pops up in my FB messenger, and I hate myself for it. Have you ever imagined how it would feel kissing a certain someone? I legitimately just huffed in humor, guess, lmao. What are the bad things you've heard people say about you? That I'm a martyr, going nowhere, lazy, not trying hard enough, y'know, all that good stuff. Do you flirt a lot? Definitely not. What phrase or saying do you use the most? Probably "oof" lol. What mood are you in right now? I'm doing pretty all right. Kinda dreading Miss Tobey coming over, mean as it is, but I just... don't wanna deal with her and her judgments on my birthday. But I'm looking forward to seeing my sisters, and therapy went very well. Have you ever kissed someone that was high? No. Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Yep. How many exes do you have? I only consider two exes "serious," as I've only been in two deep and long-term relationships, but if we're counting everyone who's had the label of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," there's six. Do you want to be single or with someone? Ugh, I don't know. It's probably better I don't 'til I figure my shit out, but I really do miss the companionship a lot. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I love her and I was leaving her at the airport. Does your mom think you’re a virgin? She doesn't know for the same reason I don't, really. I think she leans towards I am, but idk. Is there someone that wants you to give them a second chance? I don't know. What size bra do you wear? Uhhh I genuinely don't buy bras enough to know this exactly. C-something. Does the person you last kissed still like you? I don't know if she still like-likes me. Are your parents still together? Noooo. Was your first time good or bad? I dated an Italian, if u kno what I mean. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Which friend-turned-enemy do you miss the most? Colleen, sometimes. Have you ever used an epi pen, and it worked? I have not. What is on your top priority list for today? Make this fuckin' day for me. I'm trying to not let the depression sink in and make me feel worthless on today of all days. So I'm trying to stay in a positive headspace. Do you own any sand art in a jar? Omg, those are so cool! But no. Does the sun come in your window in the morning or at night? Not really; there's houses in the way. What was the last piece of art you created? A drawing of a meerkat with its mouth open angrily, done with colored pencils, against a black background. It's on my second dA. What time of day do you take medications? I have prescription meds for when I wake up and at bedtime. What's your newest hobby you've started? A new hobby? Huh... What are some things you wanted to do that your parents didn't let you do? They wouldn't let us stay home alone until a certain age, we had a timer on the TV at bedtime to shut off after a while, we weren't exposed to certain music or shows, no cursing... stuff like that. What YouTube channels do you recommend? This is a BAD question to ask me, 'cuz I could just about recommend channels for just about any niche. I watch soooooo many. What is your favorite day of the week? Tuesday, because it's reset day in WoW, haha. Meaning, I get to do my stupid mount farming raids again for the week. Blackhand, gimme your FUCKING clefthoof already. Ballet or cheerleading? Ballet is beautiful. What are your favorite sports to watch? Only dancing, really. Were you ever in the marching band? No. Which holiday has the best decorations, in your opinion? My contrasting aesthetics make this hard, haha. I love Christmas with all the beautiful light displays people can make, but let's not sleep on Halloween, y'all. I loooove Halloween decor, like c'mon, that's where I get shit for my room year-round, lmao. What do you want to be known for? It'd actually be kinda cool if I built up some sort of rep in the vulture culture community with my photography of roadkill. For how few shots I actually have on there and minimal interaction, my Instagram for it is doing quite well, if you consider those factors. They've gotten some pretty decent attention on dA, too. I would love for people to know why I do it though, of course: awareness and respect for the animal's life. How often do you wear make-up? Almost never nowadays. Think of the person you are jealous of...what are you jealous of them for? She's actually making a career out of her photography. Do you have art that you made in high school? Oh, plenty. Do you have trauma in your past? *clears throat* take a fuckin seat Favorite type of frosting? Chocolate. Have you ever tried cake decorating? No. One of my sisters is actually one, though! She's great at it. What clubs are you a part of? None. What was your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. 6th grade, to be exact. Do you like to read classics, or do you usually read new arrivals? I don't prefer one over the other, honestly. Were you a big partier in college? No, I never partied. Is your college one you would recommend? My most recent one, fuck yes. They're amazing and care so deeply for their students. Would you go camping in the woods alone? Yikes, no. Would you name your kids after anyone? If I had a son and I had my way with the name, he would be named after the Most Selfless Man in the World, Damien from WKM. :'''''( Do you have any supernatural gifts? No. Are there any good churches in your town? You're asking someone who has a bad relationship with religion. Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding? It really depends on the season and venue my spouse and I pick. Do you think you would be a good salesperson? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NAW fam. I ain't pressuring people to buy shit.

[yarart4ever]

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! HAMILTON ARRIVED ON DISNEY+ A FEW DAYS AGO WHAAAAAAAAAT!!!?????

as you couldn't tell, I am IN LOVE with Hamilton! the musical got me into discovering the musical fandom! sure I was in love with Hairspray and musicals in general but Hamilton was my first actual music obsession!

this is the LIVE SHOW! just recorded professionally! and Imma do my usual review on it! :3

-lol king george's intro at the beginning! XD

-WHO ELSE BOPPED AND GOT EXCITED DURING THE FIRST SONG IN ACT I: ALEXANDER HAMILTON!?

-I like how the crowd is so respectful to the performers and only laughs and claps when necessary!

-the dance choreography! *chefs kiss* perfecto!

-YO! the actors for John Laurens/Philip, Lafayette/Thomas Jefferson and Hercules Mulligan/ Maddison ARE. FINE! they. are. DADDIES! PERIODT!

-okay but like... the actresses for Angelica and Peggy are also pretty fine! like.. UwU WIFEYS!

-Angelica~, (work, work) Eliza~ and PEGGY! the schuyler sisters~! sorry I had to! TvT

-ANGELICA. IS. A QUEEN! PERIODTTTT!!

-lol everything that comes out of King george's mouth is gold! XD

-RIGHT HAND MAN IS A BOP OH MY GOD! (O///o///O)

-aw, Helpless is so wholesome I love it! <3

-okAY BUT SATISFIED IS MY FAVORITE SONG AND IT'S WHAT GOT ME INTO THE HAMILTON FANDOM! I KNOW THE SONG WORD FOR WORD ISTG-

-lmao who else died at raise a glass reprise cuz... XD it got me!

-WAIT FOR IT IS MY SECOND FAVORITE SONG!! (>///o///<) but like show me mother theodosia pls! T^T

-"I'm a general! WEEEE"  Charles Lee~  best quote by far!

-  the way! John Laurens! looks at Alexander! jesus why does he have to be so attractive!?

-damn Alexander got daddy issues! O_O

-that would be enough almost made me cry what??

-EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA'S VERY HOT FIGHTING FRENCHMAN!... wait that's not the lyrics..

-damn! dying is easy, but living is harder... that hit different! :'(

-THE WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN!! HOLY THAT SONG SLAPSSSS!!

-oml Hercules Mulligan's solo (O///_///O) and he sticks his tongue out too! he's a aggressive top hottie and I am living for it!!!

- what comes next was totally foreshadowing for when Trump becomes president. like, "when your people say they hate you, don't come crawling back to me"! like yo! foreshadowing or what??

-aw dear theodosia! my third favorite song! you know, ever since I heard this I wanted to name my child theodosia so that I could sing her this song as a lullaby.

-NO!!! JOHN LAURENS MY HUSBAND!!! T^T </3 I knew he was gonna die anyway cause I've listened to the sundtrack many times but still! and Alexander was so happy singing about his son and then he hears about John's death I'm- :'( I almost cried again during that song... you can probably tell that I love John Laurens..

-NON STOP THO!! LIKE WHAT!?! THIS SONG WAS AWESOME IN THE SOUNDTRACK AND IT'S MORE AWESOME NOW THAT I'M SEEING IT AND SINGING ALONG!! (>///O///<)

~~intermission~~

-okay okay, act II! I'm ready!! give. me. that. tea!

-THOMAS JEFFERSON! HOLY SH!T HE'S HOT!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!

-OH! AND HE DOES THE KISS!! excuse me while I faint of fangirling...

-aw, poor Maddison is sick. lol corona?? I'm telling y'all they knew what was gonna happen in 2020! like even John wanted to help end black slavery and then there was that george floyd situation now and just... foreshadowing all over! :T

-HOLY CRAP YO THERE'S AN ACTUAL RAP BATTLE!! XD WHAAAATT??? like Jefferson and Hamilton got them mics, they be all up in each other's face roasting each other like bro!

-"turn around, bend over I'll show you where my shoe fits!" OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH! GET ROASTED JEFFERSON BAM WHAT??

- lmao why the fnck do they have an grown a$$ man playing a 9 year old?? XD

-okay, I love the sister dynamic for Angelica and Eliza! they're so cute! and I like how no one questions that even though their races are different they're still related. and it bothers me that people nitpick about that. like leave them alone, they are sisters! periodt!

-oh no it's say no to this... I hate this song... I can't believe Hamilton had an affair with someone he doesn't even know! who cares if she's hot?? you're MARRIED!

-and wait... ain't that the actress who played Peggy in the last act?? sheesh no wonder she's so attractive!

-look at this dude saying "lord show me how to say no to this, I don't know how to say no to this"! LIKE BOI! just say no! tf?? it doesn't matter if she's a fncking model! if I was married to a kind hearted, gentle and just generally an amazing person Like Eliza, and a woman pulled me in their bed and said "stay~" I would've  been like "HAHA nope! peace out my guy, I'm already taken thank you very much and they do it to me better than you ever did! periodt!" and I would leave. it's that easy!

-"and her bodies screaming hell yes" BOI IF YOU DON'T KEEP YOUR D!CK IN YOUR PANTS AND GO HOME ALEXANDER I SWEAR TO FnCKING ALLAH......

-and he fncked up... that's it... I'm done!! Deuses! *gives peace sign and leaves*

-no one else was in the room? okay we getting hype now! XP

-damn Aaron Burr is a great dancer! XD

-oh sh!t oh sh!t there's another rap battle! same people too... everyone take cover! seriously this is not a drill!

-damn! okay did not hear this yet?? uhm so.... Hamilton snapped. and not the good type of snapped too... the moment he was given a opportunity to speak he literally shouted "YOU MUST BE OUTTA YOUR GODDAMN MIND!" and when I tell you I shook....

-"daddy's callin'.." oKAY FIRST OF ALL HOW WRONG DOES THAT SOUND TO YOU??

-lol when Burr came on stage and started singing, Jefferson was so confused he was like "bruh the hell did you come from??" and I died! XD

-oh sh!t Burr and Jefferson are joining forces- LOOK OUT EVERYONE AS THEY BRING THE THUNDER!

-YO THE RAPPING IN THIS SONG IS LIKE WOWZAH! LIKE BARS BRO! :D LIKE FnCKING M&M IS QUAKING!

-"sir, I don't know what you heard but WHATEVER IT IS.... Jefferson started it.." LMFAO ALEX I SWEAR TO GOD XD

-one last time oh no I'm scared this song is gonna make me cry isn't it??

-YEP I WAS RIGHT! I'M CRYING NOW! GREAT!

-George Washington's voice is so powerful oh my lord... and oop! he's crying too! also great! :'D

-my hEART T^T-

-King George Istg STOP! XD

-also yay, I like how they used a woman for the guard/right hand man to the king! as a feminist... I approve UwU

-who else flinched when the king started laughing........ because I did....

-"sit down John you FAT MOTHER FnCKER!" oop... was not expecting that!

-NO ALEX DON'T TELL THEM THEY'RE JOINING FORCES YOU'RE DEAD IF YOU TELL THEM THAT- aaaaaaaand you told them... smart.. real smart -_-

-okay but Thomas' reaction was even more funny on screen then in the sound track X'D

-welp... now Burr's gonna tell everybody.. oh wait no.. ALONG with Jefferson and Maddison... good job, Alexander..

-holy sh!t the reynolds pamphlet! he actually wrote it down?? I mean I knew this happened but STILL! WHAT THE FnCK, HAMILTON?!?

-Jefferson is getting to hype for this I swear XD

-OH CRAP ANGELICA IS HERE!

-"all the way from London? DAYUM!" that's me!

-damn, work it, King George! XP

-YEAH DAMN RIGHT HIS POOR WIFE ELIZA DIDN'T DESERVE THIS! >:(

-aw man, Burn hit's different! especially when you catch your ex cheating on you. if that ever happens, LISTEN TO THIS SONG! trust me!

-I feel so bad for her.. :(

-Philip saying "the scholars say I got the same virtuosity and brains as my pops, the ladies say that's not where the resemblance stops~" MADE ME DIE! LIKE ON THE SPOT! NO JOKE!

-the ladies are getting hype for Philip and honestly I CAN SEE WHY! HE'S A DADDY! DUNNO! UwU

-OOF! BEEF!

-he got shot AGAIN!?!

-he dies AGAIN!?!

-WHY DOES THIS HANDSOME BOI KEEP DYING?? LET HIM LIVE BRO!! T^T

-poor Eliza...

-oh god please no not it's quiet uptown! Imma cry again!

-oop... and now I'm crying again... ain't that fun! :'D

-the way they held hands at the end! T^T be still my heart!

-DAYUM! Hamilton chose JEFFERSON over Burr! oof, that's gotta sting!

-"you know what we can change that, you know why?" me: why? "because I'm the president.." me: *blushes and sweats*.... uh.. ahem... welp, that's enough convincing for me you got it sir!  I am so sorry... TvT

-oh no they about to duel! oh sh!t oh sh!t! I'm scared!

-lol A. Ham! XD I'm sorry I just find that so funny! HAM! AHA do I look like a Christmas meal to you?? lmao

-he's... HE'S AIMING HIS PISTOL AT THE SKY! BURR HOLD UP DON'T SHOOT DON'T-

-... he shot Hamilton...

-seriously Burr??

-Eliza has been through many heartbreaks right now..

-oh this is my 5th favorite song. who lives who dies, who tells your story... I'm gonna cry again, aren't I?

-yep! definitely just cried! that song always hits home for me..

I love this musical so much! no words can describe how much it means to me. so I suggest you listen to the soundtrack yourself, if you haven't and tell me how you feel about it. c:

[cherryeol04]

Tomorrow, Today

Words: 3k

Summary: You’re not entirely sure what you’re doing with your life. Thankfully, your visited by an angel who helps guide you.

‘You keep pushing me while my eyes are half-covered’

You pulled the earbuds outs as the last Bell of first period rang and you were once more trapped in your study period. You always thought it was strange to have a study period in first period, but it seemed better than the alternative; science, history or worst of all, math. It was a period you could use to catch up on the homework you failed to do the night before and get in a little bit of studying before the quiz you would inevitably have in your third period. That teacher swears that she only gives pop quizzes. But there's nothing ‘pop’ about having a quiz daily at the beginning of the class and most of the material was stuff you hadn't covered yet. She was crazy and you were absolutely sure of it.

Your eyes moved to the front as the teacher stood from his desk. As he rose so did everyone else and you reluctantly joined. Running through the same mundane morning routine that just seemed to suck the life out of you, you were finally allowed to sit back down. With the instructions the same as always “study”, you plug your earbuds in and open up your chemistry textbook, your notebook open and posed, just ready to be written in. You were honestly thankful that music was allowed in the class because utter silence for nearly an hour would just drive you absolutely crazy.

Your fingers flew over the screen of your iPod, unlocking it and pulling up your music. You wanted to make sure it was on repeat of your new, current favorite song. It was by a group called JJ Project, aptly named for the two members that made up this group, Park Jinyoung and Im Jaebum. They had the singing voices of angels and their new single, Tomorrow, Today, was absolutely your favorite song. While many people could probably argue with you (and most likely would, knowing those crazy fans) that they had better songs, even in their fully formed group Got7, you have never heard a better song in your life. Mainly because the lyrics struck something deep within you. Feelings and confusion that you thought only you suffered from.

‘Somebody let me know, Tell me which way to go, Cuz I don’t, don’t, don’t know’

It was your senior year of high school. At the end of the year marked a big transition in your life. You were expected to go to college, find a major that would eventually lead you into your career. A career that would fully support you and whatever family you would have in the future. All the while, also having a social life to go and meet some nice boy and settle down with and eventually marry. Not to mention you were also expected to take care of your parents as they got older in life, since they spent 18 years of their life caring for you. At least you didn’t have siblings, but sometimes you wished you did. Maybe if you did, all the pressures of life wouldn’t be on your shoulders. You could share the responsibilities. Of course you would probably still be the first born and expected to care for them and be their role model. But maybe that wouldn’t have been so bad. At least you would have someone to talk to about your fears and worries in life.

Sure you had your parents, but would they really understand? Maybe, but as it was, they see life as a never ending routine. Wake up, study, pass exams, go to college, get a good career, make a lot of money, come home, eat and do it all over again. A never ending cycle like a robot. Up, work, down. Over and over like a mindless zombie and that was honestly a scary future to think about. You had your friends, and yes they were all going through the same things you were going through. Studying, exams, searching for colleges. But your friends somehow still bested you. Two of them were in the top 3% of the school with their scores. Your best friend having tested out of high school a year before due to her high scores on placement exams and was already in college. Another friend in your group could care less because in less than four months, she was going to be married to her high school sweetheart (who was three years older than her). He already had a secure job working with his father, but was going to school to get a degree and climb the corporate ladder. She needed to do absolutely nothing; her life was set.

And then there was you. You struggled day to day to finish your homework. Not because you had a tough life at home, or had to work after school. But because you hated school. You found it not only a waste of time but it was also very challenging for you. You never saw the need to be competitive and strive to be the best. You had absolutely no idea what you wanted to do with your life. Of course your parents knew what they wanted you to do with your life. But you wanted to make those choices, you didn’t want them to be made for you. And you didn’t want to make the choices that you thought were right, only to look back and wonder what your life would have been if you chose a different path. Would it be different? Was this the right choice? Should you go this way, or that way?

It was confusing and stress inducing. And the only solace you could seek was within your music. That’s why this song was so meaningful to you. It was like these people were in your head and could hear your struggle. Their song was about this, the struggle of choosing the right path in life without fear and regret that they chose the wrong way to go. So blind as to which was the right path for them, how could they make the right choice or answer the questions that life threw at them when they didn’t even know the answers themselves.

It was like your theme song; your life song. Tomorrow, Today. Where would you be tomorrow? How could you possibly know when you’re still living today? How could you possibly see into the future?

A heavy sigh left you as you laid your head down on the desk, eyes closing. You let your mind wander as you lost yourself in the song. Darkness surrounded you with a warm, welcoming embrace and you found yourself falling deeper and deeper into it. A gentle touch and a soft call of your name was pulling you from the embrace. You didn’t want to go, but the voice sounded so sweet, so soft, you couldn’t help but be curious as to who was calling you.

Your eyes opened slowly and they were flooded with light. But not the harsh light of the classroom you had been in. But a soft, natural light, which was strange to you. A soft groan left you as your eyes adjusted to the light for a moment, the large tree overhead finally taking shape and you wondered, where it came from. The sound of birds chirping also caught your attention and you were slowly becoming aware of the fact that you were outside. How and when did that happen? You were just in the classroom...weren’t you?

“Y/N.” You tilt your head back towards the voice and the face of the mysterious person suddenly comes into view. You have seen many handsome men before in your life, but none as handsome as this man. Such fair skin, amazing hair, gorgeous eyes and such plush lips. You swore you’ve seen him before, but you weren’t sure where. You also could swear that this was a dream, because honestly, how did you go from inside a classroom to outside under a tree? But that thought soon dissipated as the male smiled at you, his eyes crinkling as he did so and you thought it was honestly the cutest thing in the world. How could this man go from handsome to adorable in less than five seconds?

“Hey, are you awake? You went to sleep.” Sleep? Yeah, you remember going to sleep. Frowning, you stared at him for a moment before sitting up and looking around. It was an open grassy field with a beautiful view of the city out in the horizon. The sun was shining brightly above, making you feel nice and hot, but the occasional breeze came through to cool you off, making you feel warm and cozy. Turning your body, you realize your head been resting in his lap and judging from the items around you, he had been reading? Maybe this was some sort of picnic? There was a basket on the other side of him. “What’s wrong?” he asked quickly, worry suddenly etched on his face.

“I…” you trailed off, eyes once more taking in your surroundings, trying to make sense of all of this confusion. How? When? Where and why? Looking back at him, you let out a soft yet confused laugh. “This is going to sound crazy but I don’t know where I am. Or how I got here. Or who you are.” The words tumbled right out of your mouth and it was like a light bulb was turned on in his mind. There was this strange look of understanding that crossed his features and he nodded slowly. This had to be a dream then. How could someone just seem to know? How could this guy just be so alright with what you said? You assume that you know him and you’re at least friends with him, if not something more. So how could he just be cool with the weird words that just left you? It’s not like you got hit in the head and went unconscious and now you have amnesia. Right?

“I get it.” he said and stood. He carefully placed his book in the basket and picked it up before holding out his hand, smiling once more at you. “Come with me.” he said. You were a little hesitant at first, to just take the hand of this random stranger, who was still so calm and collected about this whole thing! “Y/N, trust me.” Oh yeah, like you were simply going to just trust someone who told you to trust them. But something inside you told you to take his hand. So you did. Grasping it tightly, he pulled you up and just as suddenly as you found yourself in that field with him, your surroundings changed once more. Gone was the sunshine, the cool breeze and beautiful horizon. It was gloomy, overcast and you were standing at the end of a road. Before you were two signs, both arrows to let drivers know they could either go left or right. Two signs, one choice. Which way to go?

“I don’t get it.” you found yourself saying as you turned to stare at the male to your left, but he wasn’t there. Confused, you turned quickly to your right and he wasn’t there either. You turned in a circle, searching for the man that just been there, had just held your hand. But he was nowhere to be seen. You felt fear and panic start to set in. You were in a strange place, alone, with no guide to tell you what to do or how to get back. “Oh my god.” you whispered, hands moving to run through your hair as you exhaled slowly. Your eyes moved back to the signs and you slowly walked towards them. Looking to the left, you saw nothing but an empty road. Looking to the right, you saw the same thing. Two different paths, two different ways to go.

“How do I know which way is the right way?”

“Follow your heart.”

It was a soft voice, but you knew you had heard it before. It sounded exactly like the man that had just been with you. Now he was telling you to follow your heart? Well it was a little hard to do that when your mind kept coming up with scenarios of the worst case situation if you picked the wrong direction. How could you possibly pick and not know about the other way? You felt a soft, warm touch to your shoulder, the same you felt right before you had woken up. It was comforting and it silenced your brain long enough for your heart to take the lead and make your choice. Turning to the right, you stared at the road and nodded. This was the right path.

This was your path. You began walking with more confidence than you had ever felt before in your life. For once, you didn't feel lost. You didn't feel like every choice you made in your life was a mistake. You didn't feel like others were pushing you to make this choice. You made it this time. And it's the choice you were so proud to make.

As you walked down the road the skies grew darker and darker, but not once did you falter in your belief that this was the right choice. You kept walking until all that was around you faded to black and you were once more wrapped in the warm embrace of darkness.

“Y/N!”

Jolting awake, you looked around quickly as your earbuds fell from your ears. You stared up at your friend, her worried eyes scanning your face. “Are you alright? We're gonna be late for art class.” she said

Sitting up slowly, you looked around the familiar classroom and let out a sigh. A dream. It really had been just a dream. “Y/N?”

“Ah yeah. Sorry.” You said quickly and scrambled to grab your stuff and pack it in your bag. Standing, you smiled at her, before covering your mouth to stifle the loud yawn that left you. “Let's go.”

“If you say so, sleeping beauty. Have any good dreams?” she asked as she walked out of class with you.

“I wouldn't call it a good dream. But it as a dream.” You said with a shrug.

“Yeah? Tell me about it.”

“Ah...maybe later? I'm still trying to understand it myself.” You told her with a chuckle. You both made it to class with a few seconds to spare, the late bell ringing just as you both took your seat. After another mundane routine of greeting and instructions, you were left to work on your class project, a portrait of a person that you had yet to start because honestly, you had no idea who to draw. Until now.

Setting up the table easel, you attached the sketch paper and started working. Your hand moved effortlessly, sketching out each smooth and beautiful feature. Losing yourself in your sketch, you're just about done with it when you finally pull back to rest for a moment, your back screaming in relief.

“Wow! So that's who you've been drawing? That's the best sketch of Jinyoung I've ever seen.” your friend said in awe. Jinyoung? You sat there and looked at the sketch and you realized the male in your dream was indeed Jinyoung. This realization suddenly put the whole dream in perspective and you smiled to yourself.

“Follow your heart.” You whispered to yourself and grinned. That's exactly what you were going to do.

~*~Eight Months Later ~*~

For your graduation present, your parents got you tickets to a Got7 concert and a Got7 fanmeeting. They were so proud of you. You had turned around so quickly, getting better grades in school and you finally decided what you wanted to go to school for. While they weren't the biggest supports of an arts school, your national win in the art contest had all but proven to them your talent for drawing.

As you made your way down the table, getting your album signed by each member, you clutched tightly to your 1st place sketch of Jinyoung. It felt like forever and not that you weren't grateful to be able to see all the other members (Got7 was one of your favorite groups after all), you were dying to give this gift that the other members always eyed, wondering if it was theirs.

At last you reached Jinyoung and after the small greeting, you lifted up the drawing, pressed against a hard black cardboard back and laminated so nothing could ruin it. The 1st place ribbon was still attached to it and across the top read ‘Tomorrow, Today’. Jinyoung stared at it for a moment, marveling before accepting it with a gracious smile. Carefully he sat it next to him on the floor, leaning up against the chair so it wouldn't be trampled or stepped on.

“Thank you. It's beautiful.” he said. Simple words but they had you blushing. He would probably never understand how important that drawing was to you or the meaning behind it, but you did and knowing that he now had the source of your motivation and confidence, it made you happy. You were no longer lost and confused. You knew which path was yours and you were going to walk down it with your head held high and you were going to meet any forks in the road with confidence and follow your heart in making your decisions.

You watched as he leaned forward and uncapped his pen and started writing. You thought he was signing, but after a few seconds, his hands started making the large movements that signified his signature before he passed back the album. With a bow, you took it with a smile and started moving down to the last member. Looking down at the album, you read over the words careful.

‘Always follow your heart, Y/N. I'll always be rooting for you. Fighting~’

Brows furrowing, you quickly look back and stared at Jinyoung. He was looking back at you and gave a wink, which only added to the confusion you felt. It had all been a dream…

Right?

[sherubshereyes]

Hey, whut up

Dear Jon:

Instead of messaging you at 3:37 am while you sleep I will write here. Write whatever I want because hopefully I will have self control and not send it anyway.

‘Lullaby’ and ‘Don’t You Worry About Me’ by Lukas Graham just came on and now I want to get serious. And I probably will send you this... when you wake the heck up. Lol.

You said something about how it’s weird to find god after a psychotic break... and I understand that fully but I’ll explain why it happens to me EVERY time I am hospitalized.

When you are in a place like -insert 3 mental health hospitals here- you feel punished. You feel ALONE... and if you let yourself believe god exists, well then you are not alone after all.

After -FV hospital- in 2011 I was 22 and I went to see Ben Rector live at the intersection in the front lounge. I didn’t even know he was a Christian artist until I got out of -FV- this time around. Like on 2/10/2020 I mean. The back is bigger at the intersection so it was maybe $10 for front shows and bob marley’s kid was performing in the back. Idk which one lol. I went out to smoke cigs periodically and I BET stoners were smoking joints and I didn’t know it. I tried weed my first time a week later while drunk on my friends 21st birthday. I smoked with her step brother (he was her roommate) and she was passed out drunk (duh) so she didn’t partake. I found myself on the deck dizzy and alone after... puking.

“Your heart won’t break I won’t let it” random lyric from the song on shuffle by Lukas Graham. Sorry I’m ADHD

“I know you know I’m not perfect and I hope you know I’m worth it” this song is good... back to my story...

This house was in a trailer park and I lived with my parents 4 miles away. I drove my drunk/high ass home and I’m not sure how I didn’t fucking die. Lol. See. God probably made sure I made it home safe. I still remember it vividly. Like, I can feel how dizzy and unsafe I was driving but I made it.

In 2017 I was hospitalized for 3 weeks, court ordered by my family, after I had met a man named "Levi” at a wedding and wanted to leave "Bob” for him. He was closer to my age, hella hot, smoked cigs and called them fags because he was from Europe. He had the same mustache tattoo as me and it was on the same finger. We snap chatted inappropriately and I don’t fucking regret it either but he bailed on me and would never speak to me again after I got out of the hospital. “Bob” and I were separated after that stay and I threw a remote at his face and he called the cops on me to report domestic assault. It was really hard and I wondered if I would go to jail. I didn’t. Don’t you think maybe god said “not today satan?” Hahaha cuz I do.

I was going to church then. -Insert church name here-. It’s non denominational and it felt right. I felt lonely and afraid so I caved and took “Bob” back even though I didn’t want to. I started crawling into his bed instead of my own. He was sleeping in the spare room and I realized I couldn’t be alone. I WANTED to be... but I couldn’t support myself and I had no other options.

“Bob” went to church with me then too a little. He has strong doubts about faith but I’ve never heard him say he is an atheist... unlike you lol.

This time around you were very present in my life for the postpartum mania and I HOPE I have not scared you. I’m pretty sure I’m just scaring myself now more than anything. I got A LOT of male attention in -FV hospital-, as I do at every hospital because I’m hella fun manic and draw people in. I’m smart, I practice self care (unlike when I’m depressed) and it shows when I let myself love myself again.

I tried to cling to “Bob” in there this time. I transferred units to avoid the men cuz 500E only ever had 3 men at all times. Coincidence I think, maybe god again?? Haha! I don’t know. I just realized that too. “Liam” told me not to put “Bob” on my phone plan when I talked about it and I defended my future actions saying “but I’m married” like it fucking mattered.

Insert break to let "the girl dogs” out and play more tunes. It’s 4:03 now and this is how ADHD I really am lol

“Take the world by storm” is on now and I feel like I’m gonna do it. In my own time.

“I want to tear down boundaries and greet my enemies” such a good song too.

It’s 4:07 and as I smoke while “Tony” barks like a bitch I realize this will have to be emailed cuz it’s gonna be a fucking novel. I hope you like it, hahaha.

“What happened to perfect” is on now and it’s like a break up song. More Lukas Graham on shuffle. See why I think god speaks to me thru music? “Tony” woke “Bob” up which is why I let her and “Casey” out. I have to make a bottle cuz “Liam” is over due but still sleeping.

4:12 am and now “Everything that isn’t me” is on and I sent this to “Bob’s” mom on Thursday. He has no idea I’m talking to her still. He’d be mad. I don’t know why he hates her so much. I kind of love her a lot.

4:20 am (lol I screen capped proof) and I’m making coffee in my Jason Momoa mug. I made “Bob” listen to that song while he changed “Liam’s” diaper.

I tried to warm up a bottle but “Liam” got impatient so it’s not so warm. I made pizza and “Bob” took the bottle and “Liam” back in the bedroom. I am banished to the living room and couch tonight, of course.

I ate peanut butter on a spoon for protein and calories before the pizza and then used the end of the spoon to open my creamer for my coffee. Fierce. I love it, I really do. My coffee is perfectly pale and I don’t care what “Liam” says about too much creamer. It’s the best. It’s 4:26 now. This coffee tastes amazing and my pizza is gone so I want to smoke again... so I probably will.

I’m going to put Ben Rector on shuffle now and see how this goes. He performs May 1st at fountain street church and I really wish I could go. I heard that ON THE RADIO in -FV hospital-. I’m not even joking. Hi, god, what up tho?

I’m cheating and playing “i like you” cuz why not. I’ll see what shuffles after. I’m going to Walgreens around 8 am to get more coffee ($2.99 for 12 k cups) I’m getting you some. I’m also searching for something on clearance in Valentine’s Day section. I’ll go to every store in town if I have to just to find it.

“Forever like that” is on now and I can’t make this shit up. If you didn’t listen to it, it’s the other love song. Probably cuz I love you so much but I’ll be ok as just your friend, honestly, I will. It’s 4:34 am now.

When my mom and I fought Wednesday I told her how “Bob” ruined my life. I don’t want to tell you. He didn’t mean to. I want you to stay his friend so bad. He needs you more than me. I’m still working on my cig and sipping coffee. It feels glorious. Insert the old character of Bobby Roode and now I wish I had a robe like him... or in general... but I lose every robe I ever own.

“I want to spend my forever like that” last lyric of the song... what will be next??

It’s called “beautiful” and I don’t know it but I I feel beautiful and sexy as hell and I like it a lot.

I’m going back inside and it’s singing “I was 16 with a broken heart with the windows down in a beat up car” damn. I was like that too. Best year of my life and why it’s my favorite number. “Liam” was born 1/16/2020 so yeah. Magic? God? Whatever. I’m gonna go in and re read and spell check this mess while watching Across the Universe. This “May be where I leave you” as I say that I think of the centaur dropping off Harry Potter after Voldemort drank unicorn blood in front of him in the forbidden forest or some shit.

4:45 am and the song on Across the Universe is “I get by with a little help from my friends” accurate. Lyric - “I get high with a little help from my friends” also true. Insert panda cuddles. One day I can get high with you again. One day. I’m definitely done now.

4:53 am and I’m gonna ask you for your email now and hope I’m not driving you crazy but if I don’t ask it now I might be too scared later.

Love you,

Me

P.S. Second cup of coffee at 5:10 and “I’ve just seen a face” by Jim Sturgis (Beatles cover) is on Across the Universe. Look it up and please don’t freaking hate me ok. “She’s got a boyfriend” “It’s ok, I’ve got a girlfriend” I love this movie beyond measure

[lilithpooped]

Promise - Kim Hongjoong

Song Request: Promise by Ateez

Requested by: @sleepyninibear

Genre: fluff

A/n: Promise always gives me the feeling of young love and saving the one you love. Love is not always about protecting, no one can protect anyone forever. It’s also about saving the one from dark times. I wrote this fic considering both the lyrics and the melody, hope you like it 💕

“Mom, I don’t want to get married to him please don’t let it happen, please..” you begged.

“This is your dad’s will, y/n. You have to since it’s good for both the business and your future. Don’t cry, you’re gonna ruin your makeup.”

“Mom, I don’t care about makeup. How can you be so cold hearted? Haven’t you always been the one to tell me to do whatever I want? I can’t see how marrying him help with the business either!! And I told you I don’t love him, how can he be good for my future?!”

“Y/n, I told you to stop crying. You don’t have a choice right now. I told you to disagree with your dad when he first talked to you. This is not a game, you cannot go back. Especially not on your wedding day. If you were against the marriage that much, you should’ve told him then. Not now. Now stop crying and get ready. You’ll be walking to the aisle in 10 minutes.”

Your mom left the room. You looked at the mirror, your reflection seemed like a ruined masterpiece. Everything about your makeup, hair and wedding dress was perfect, just like your soon-to-be husband’s public image. He was the only heir of the biggest entertainment company in the country. He was rich, not so handsome but definitely attractive, charming and kind. He was everything someone like you could ask for.

But you didn’t ask for him.

Your family was above the average, too. But not as rich as his family. Your dad had an entertainment company which was not so successful at the moment and with you marrying the other company’s heir meant new business deals and growth for him. And since the heir really loved you and he was in fact the one asked for marriage, your dad immediately said yes before even asking you. Needless to say your relationship with him was not on a real dad-daughter level.

When he first told you that you were going to marry that man, you didn’t oppose to the idea. The heir was kind, cute and you always knew he had a crush on you. You weren’t seeing anyone anyways so you just accepted it and saw it as a chance to actually use him as a money source if you couldn’t like him even after trying to know each other. You didn’t oppose because marriage, love or sex meant nothing to you.

But it only lasted until you saw “the one”.

You met your “one” in a coffee shop. You were there to meet with your best friend and tell her about the wedding but she was late so you decided to grab your coffee first. You stood up, walked to the counter and got your favorite coffee. Took a sip before you walk back and wow! That was the best coffee you’ve ever had!

You turned back to your table and waited some more but your friend was nowhere to be found. You decided to text her.

“Hey where the heck are you? I’m slowly turning into a tree..........”

“Y/n I’m so sorry, my boyfriend got sick and I needed to take care of him. I couldn’t text you because he keeps puking and I’m with him rn.”

Wow... Amazing... Your bff ditched you.

You hadn’t replied to her text and decided to turn back home. But before you do, something inside you told you to ask for the barista and thank them in person. You wanted to let them know they were doing an amazing job and you would come there often for their coffee.

“Mr. Kim, our customer wants to see you.” Told (more like yelled) the cashier to the kitchen. You saw a red head behind the door window and that red head appeared in front of you in two seconds.

“Hello, I guess you asked for me. How can I help you?”

Wow he is handsome, you thought to yourself.

“Umm, I just wanted to say you create miracles back there. I mean this was the best coffee i have ever tasted, I’m gonna be a commoner here because of you.. I- I mean your coffee. Ehehe”

“Ah, thank you for saying so. I’m flattered but you’re exaggerating a bit, ehe, I don’t think my coffee is that good.”

He smiled shyly, you thought he looked cute. His eyes were shining.

“Oh, no no I’m not exaggerating. It was amazing. I didn’t want to finish it. Its taste still lingers. Ahaha.” This was your time to get shy now.

“Thank you so much. Your comment made my day.” He answered while smiling again.

“Ah.. Thank you for making coffee, i guess.. Ahaha! Umm. Okay anyways I should go now, thank you for the coffee again.”

You turned your back to the handsome barista and took a step before you hear him.

“Ummm, will I be able to see you around again? I mean, for coffee. I mean here..”

You turned your face to him again, something in your heart jumping at the sight of him.

“Yes, yes definitely. I will be coning here often.”

“Oh, then see you next time!” He gave you a cute and genuine smile while looking into your eyes.

You smiled back and turned back to your home.

All of it happened pretty fast from then on. On the second time, he told you his name. Kim Hongjoong. On the third time you two talked about your jobs and daily lives. On forth time, he asked you out by offering to make you a coffee when the shop is closed.

That was the time you fell for him.

It was you two in that coffee shop, till five in the morning you two talked, laughed and shared your stories. By the end of that date he was sitting closer to you. You were touching his arm while talking and laughing. Everything felt magical. Including your first kiss..

It was then you regretted not opposing to the marriage that’s been set for you. Life sure had a funny way to turn the things upside down.

You couldn’t keep the marriage thing as a secret from Hongjoong. You didn’t wanna trick him into thinking everything was normal. And he appreciated your honesty.

Of course he was confused and devastated at first. But you telling him the bare truth made him fall in love with you even more. He wanted to save you. He asked you to tell your dad that you changed your decision about the marriage and you did as he asked but your dad was furious when he heard your opposition. He was mad. He was throwing things to the floor just because he didn’t want to take his anger on you. But he didn’t accept your opposition. Instead, he decided to ground you. He made sure you hadn’t left your room. While he was at home, it was your mom watching your door so you couldn’t escape. She was not happy doing so but your dad scared her too.

You only left the room for dinner times and breakfast times. You had a bathroom for your own and always used that. And you only had your phone with you in the room which was enough to only call and text Hongjoong. He was also mad but not at you, he was mad at the situation, at your dad.

“I’m gonna do something, baby. Don’t you worry about it.” He texted you the night before the wedding.

“What are you going to do Hongjoong, just let it be. We can’t do anything at that point. Just remember i love you. I’m so sorry we met in a situation like this but I’m in love with you.”

“Just sleep and trust me my baby. I love you too.”

Now you were in your wedding dress, hair perfectly done and makeup making your face look like a porcelain doll, about to leave the room and be the wife of a rich heir.

“Y/n, it’s almost the time, get ready.” Your bff told you sticking her head in between the door and wall.

“Okay, thank you.” You answered silently, turning back to your reflection.

You heard the door closing.

You heard the door opening again and saw your best friend again, this time with a bag in her hands and worried look on her face.

“Y/n, oof your mom was right next to me and I was so afraid to get caught OOF god bless!!”

“What’s happening, what’s that bag, what are you talking about??”

“Look, Hongjoong is waiting for you outside. You should just go through the back door, he’s there. Here, take these sneakers. You will have to run, leave your highheels here. I put your stuff in this bag, I know it’s probably not enough for a lifetime but it should be enough for a week?? OKAY enough talk, just run!”

“What are you talking about, is that a joke cuz it’s not funny at all-“

“Y/n, you’re wasting your time! Just do as I said, why would I prank you with something like this, just go please. I��m gonna distract your mom. GO!”

She left your room hurriedly and you heard her talking to your mom.

Was it really Hongjoong? Was he insane?!?! Your dad-in-law’s security guards would kill him instanly if they knew!

You changed your high heels to sneakers quickly and opened the door just to see your mom’s back, she was talking to your friend and your friend and you got eye to eye for a split second before you hold your dress up and run until you saw Hongjoong. When you finally saw him, he was smiling so brightly you just wanted to stop your tracks and look at his face. Of course people heard noises your dress made and tried to run after you so Hongjoong held your arm tightly and made you run faster.

“My friends are waiting for us in two cars, if the security tries to follow us, they will distract them. You look so beautiful and we need to run faster.” He told you while running.

You were running and laughing crazily. It felt like you were running to your own freedom. With the only one you love...

—

Hongjoong remembered that time while looking at your sleeping figure in front of him. He was lucky. He was lucky because you were in front of him. It had been 2 years since you two ran away together but he still could feel the adrenaline in his veins. He remembered your laughing face, cheeks red from running, eyes sparkling. You looked so cute. You always looked so cute. He wanted to protect you. That day he did not only saved you but also he proved himself that he could protect you from most of the things if not everything.

Of course the rich family searched for you. But it was over now since the heir got married to another woman.

Hongjoong put his hand to your cheek and caressed it softly.

“I won’t let go of you. Don’t ever worry about anything, I’ll always be there to save you. I promise.” He mumbled while playing with your hair softly.

———————————————

Masterlist

[derangedroyalfae]

January 31, 2019 10:35PM

Royal (1:25 PM) I got some personal lyrics written today...

I suppose when it’s very genuine and personal, they are so easy and fast to write

I got the full song written, 2 verses, chorus, bridge, and even an outro

I’m usually not very good with bridges, but I like this one

Jewel (8:52 PM): Lyrics are good though

Royal (8:52 PM): Thanks...

On the bright side, even if it feels like I’m having a hard time getting along with him, at least he’s having fun with his metamours and whatnot

Jewel (8:55 PM): Oh, I actually hadn't guessed who it was about but now I got it

Cuz I assumed it was a character and not a real life person

Royal (8:55 PM): You’re literally the only one I’ve shared this with who I personally know, by the way

I haven’t shown/told Hummingbird or Kitty yet

To be fair, the lyrics did just come in today on my bus ride home and then everything else just kinda been floating on by

Jewel (8:57 PM): Oh, wow

Do you plan to show it to them?

Royal (8:58 PM): Maybe. Just cuz as special others, you should want to know what’s going on, what’s troubling you, etc

To be honest, you remember that night I was really struggling?

I was telling you how I wasn’t sure I should tell them about how I was feeling toward him

Well, on the ride home, I opened up and confessed to Kitty. I just couldn’t hold it in

But I’m glad I did

I really need to talk to at least one of them about what’s going on else it just seems like it’s out of nowhere when it resurfaces and like it’s not a reoccurring thing

It was unbiased toward him and not about her own personal feelings, just focusing on how I was and wanting to comfort me

So I know that it’s not a problem of bias when it comes to opening up to them, I know that they are good metamours

They’re very good listeners, it’s much easier talking to them than it is Nurd half the time

He tries to help too much, but sometimes I’m not looking for a solution...he’s also a debater, and that doesn’t help either

And by help too much, I mean in every way possible, everywhere or anyone

It’s concerning, cuz I don’t want him to get hurt or swindled. But it’s also rude to a certain extent and invasive, not everyone wants some stranger eavesdropping. And employees can NOT let customers help (which he seems to forget so he’ll just keep insisting).

Jewel (9:06 PM): Wait, as in, he tries to help out even at work and when you're having a conversation that doesn't involve him?

Royal (9:07 PM): Random strangers, he’ll offer help/advice if he overheard or witnessed problems

Employees at stores moving certain things, he’ll offer to lend a hand (they legally can’t accept his help)

I suppose, it could partly be a cis male thing, being unafraid of the consequences and putting yourself out there

Assigned females are raised to keep your head down and to yourself, drawing attention is your fault and could get you raped or hurt

Jewel (9:09 PM): I guess at least in the employees case, worst outcome is he'll get turned down

And it might even make them feel glad someone even wants to help

Royal (9:09 PM): Yeah, be he insists and so it gets annoying to them

Jewel (9:09 PM): Oh

Royal (9:11 PM): Most topics I like (yandere, lgbt, feminist, etc) are things he seems to hate and is annoyed by, or at least it feels like it half the time

I know it’s probably not most, but it feels like he’s so annoyed with what I have to say

What I want to talk about...

And it’s almost mutual

Like, I don’t really wanna hear about half the crap he talks about either

Jewel (9:12 PM): But what did you used to talk about?

Royal (9:12 PM): He needs friends

Before dating?

Or when we started dating

Or both

Jewel (9:13 PM): Before, after, any time you remember having a conversation you found engaging or spending time with him you enjoyed

Royal (9:14 PM): I used to mainly talk about my stories, he was a lore hound and ate it up (well, he never said he enjoyed it, just likes listening to or feels inclined to listen to stories whether or not he likes the story)

We were also a friend group, so we’d be in group conversations

Especially over nerdy stuff

They’d usually play video games together on their computers and I’d be doing my thing on my computer

But for the time spent together as a couple: we’d watch a lot of movies together, be sexual, or nap...not that much talking persay

I feel weird thinking about this

I also started meds right after we started dating

I think the worse thing is, though, Jewel, is that I’m transitioning

I’m blossoming, I’m being me, but I can’t do that in front of him

I’m invalidating myself by being with him

Invalidating doesn’t even scratch the surface

Jewel (9:19 PM): I understand. Relate to that too, very much.

Royal (9:19 PM): I don’t even like saying that I’m wearing a packer or talk about them around him cuz I feel him cringe from it

He literally flinched when I jokingly told Cat I was trying to grow a penis

And then talked to me about it later, starting with, “how far are you trying to go?” I can’t remember if he meant it in general or with just HRT. I think it was with HRT

To which I reminded him that he’s known from the beginning

Jewel (9:21 PM): It seems to me rather that he's been in denial and can't be anymore

Royal (9:21 PM): But he brought up my joke of growing a dick when asking

And when I reminded him, he is just like “I know”

It’s almost unpleasant to be around him anymore (not just because of the transition thing, this relates back to everything else)

And when I’m at Hummingbird and Kitty’s it almost feels like I can’t be with them if he’s there, like, I have to prioritize him cuz he’s to homophobic/transphobic to be in a cuddle pile with them

But he’d never see it that way

He’d never see himself as transphobic

I’m wouldn’t even ask him to touch them in anyway, I’d be between him and them, but it feels like that’d be something that’d make him ungodly uncomfortable

Not because they’re my lovers, but because they were born with a Y chromosome

Jewel (9:26 PM): Like if they were cis he'd be totally fine with it?

Royal (9:27 PM): Cis women? Yes

Not even post-op trans

Doesn’t matter if the dick isn’t there anymore

He said it himself - “socially I see them as women, sexually I see them as men”

Because of facial features, arm muscles, fat distribution

Jewel (9:29 PM): Oh gawd

I couldn't help but cringe at that

Royal (9:29 PM): Bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit

Do you realize how much more worse it makes me feel to hear people say that?

Do you realize that it’s nothing I haven’t thought already

Because it just makes me wanna vomit or cry repeating it

I feel like screaming

Jewel (9:30 PM): Wait that "you" is him, right, just clarifying

I got confused for a moment thinking you meant me

Royal (9:31 PM): No, you, Kitty, Hummingbird

“That’s cringe”

Jewel (9:31 PM): Ohhh

Royal (9:31 PM): “That’s insulting”

“That’s wrong”

I’ve felt that way, if not worse

I usually respond with “how do you think I feel?”

Jewel (9:32 PM): No, I understand, and I'm not implying otherwise

Royal (9:32 PM): “I’m in love with him, and I almost find myself hating me for that”

No, I know

But it reminds me that I’m sickened

It makes me feel like there’s something wrong that I’m with him

But then it does feel that’s the case when I look at the fact that I’m transitioning

But it makes me angry that he’d give me a chance but not someone else

Because he’s always just seen me as a girl, hasn’t he?

Jewel (9:34 PM): Did you ever ask him what he intends to do or why he's been with you? I can understand if it's hard and you haven't.

Royal (9:34 PM): Of course

He just plans on masturbating

I’m not losing anything when it comes to not having sex with him, I can live with that, but bullshit that he’d be content with that

And he doesn’t want to go find himself another partner

He only wants me, he’s said

I want someone to love him for the things I can’t

For someone to care about him and be there for him when I can’t or won’t

Jewel (9:37 PM): What does he do when he's not around you?

Royal (9:37 PM): In terms of sex?

Jewel (9:37 PM): You said he needs friends

So it seems like he doesn't socialize much?

Royal (9:38 PM): He sits in his room either playing video games or watching Netflix

I don’t think he really messages his Bay Area friends on a normal basis, and his Discord DnD group sounds to be falling apart

But I think he needs physical people in his life too

People he can chill with

So I’m glad he’s been joining game night and whatnot, I feel like telling the guys that if they really get along with him, invite him out for other things etc

I think going back to school would help too

I know I felt lost in the cosmos without school

Cuz then he can make friends and a community there too

He does work right now, but working isn’t a social life. He’s not hanging out with his coworkers outside of work, so I don’t think it counts

Jewel (9:45 PM): Yeah, school does help

Is he not planning to go back to school?

Royal (9:47 PM): He is and was

But we got his stuff in too late this semester

It’s better to start in fall anyway

But I was so annoyed with the process and how he practically needed me to hold his hand for almost all of it and screwed up and got himself incredibly confused and was working on it for like over a year when it took me like a week or two

I was racking my brain over how he was struggling so much

Like, he seems to be so much smarter and whatnot than me

Jewel (9:51 PM): What was he struggling with exactly?

Royal (9:52 PM): Tbh, I was confused and he seemed misinformed

Like, he believed he couldn’t give his transcript until such-and-such was done, and the he could make this-and-that appointment or whatever until whatnot

Etc

It was just ??????????

He also mailed his transcript to himself instead of directly to the school, so I made him do it again but to the school since you get 3 free transcripts

So use up 2/3 but he won’t need the third hopefully, and even then, it’s like $5-$15 for one anyway

Jewel (9:55 PM): Wow, seems to me he has a tendency to think things are more complicated than they are?

Royal (9:55 PM): He over thinks things

And he’s super paranoid

You know about him and online shopping, right?

(And most things that involve him using his card)

Royal (10:05 PM): It’s interesting how part of the convo (before getting into the money thing) was some references to the song I wrote

Like, the whole thing with me beginning to feel like we both don’t care about the other’s interests atm “You looked so annoyed again today

I messed up once more

I guess it mutual, by the way

It all feels like such a bore”

“And now it’s like whatever it is I say

I say it wrong”

Me and transitioning and how I keep that suppressed around him “I’ve limited who I am

When it’s next to you that I stand

It starts to feel so fake

When it’s truly me that you can’t take”

Him not wanting to be sexual with a trans person but wanting me to be his only partner ”You love me, maybe still want me, never want to leave me”

It’s almost like we’re going through the song and analyzing it, maybe just not in order

Jewel (10:13 PM): Yeah

Also, I know this is all really hard on you and you of course still love and care for him, but it's good you're thinking about it and not avoiding it. And I'm glad I can be there for you about it in whatever small way I can.

Royal (10:14 PM): By “thinking about it,” you mean the transition thing?

Or do you just mean me struggling to connect with him at all nowadays

Like I’m not just throwing it in a closet and forgetting about it until it festers and boils

Jewel (10:26 PM): I mean about him

Yeah, that second thing, basically

Royal (10:29 PM): thanks, by the way

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week twenty-five

capsule reviews of the pop songs which debuted on the billboard hot 100 the weeks of 30 June 2007 and 1 July 2017

30 June 2007

87) "Teenagers," My Chemical Romance

Y'know, I find Welcome to the Black Parade mostly disagreeable, but heck if this song ain't a bright spot, insofar as a song about bringing concealed weaponry of some kind to school is a "bright spot." (Hey, I dunno, if you have to add a disclaimer to the video saying "violence isn't the answer," you should consider a different song for the single? Just a thought, don't wanna backseat record executive, here, but that seems bad.) Like, apart from the "under your shirt" line, it's kind of a perfect angsty vibe, not Linkin Parky fml angst, more angsty in that eternally adolescent sense of "all adults are robots and I will never conform," it channels that really well, and it has a dope guitar solo. I don't think I've mentioned a guitar solo being fun, and I can't tell if that's because I don't typically care about guitar solos or this is the first memorable guitar solo we've gotten, but either way, best guitar solo of the project so far. I am spending a lot of time on this song because I'm like 60% sure it's gonna be the only song I like this week. (spoilers: it isn’t!)

93) "Imagine," Jack Johnson

You know what's another thing about "Teenagers?" Like, even before I ever listened to Welcome to the Black Parade, I could draw a line from "Welcome to the Black Parade" to "Teenagers." I could make sense of how "Teenagers" would fit in a narrative that began with "Welcome to the Black Parade," how that kid would become angry and sullen and start scaring adults. I wish more singles had some sort of thematic throughline, like I don't necessarily mean Future should write a rock opera, I mean that I should be able to get the sense that like "Shape of You" and "Castle on the Hill" are from the same album. But maybe I'm just projecting, maybe I'm stuck in MUSIC WAS BETTER IN 2007 mode when, as seen here, it clearly fucking wasn't.

94) "Shawty," Piles ft./T-Pain

wait hold up is that the "shawty, yeah-e-yeah, yeah" from the start of "i'm on the boat." did t-pain start all his features with "shawty yeah-e-yeah yeah" and i'm just noticing it now, or did t-pain reuse a run. anyway, piles is the goat: grossest of all time. he drops bars that would make yachty wince. like, this is just the first verse: "i pointed at the donk & told her this s'posed to be yours/showed her a couple stacks and told her i'd let her blow it" what body part is the donk in this context. if piles calls his dick 'the donk' i might throw up, especially since he believes being able to suck on it is a wonderful privilege. "i taught her how to talk to me while she take pipe" well, communication is key to any healthy relationship, i'm glad piles understands its importance "i gotta train her, now she suck me with ice" oh okay that's cool, yeah no, women need to be trained to give pleasure, i get it, totally, chill attitude that was the first verse. piles is the worst. i can't believe we squandered this hook and the "bust it baby, pt. 2" hook on this gross gross boy. oh hey second verse "member she used to run from me, now she like pain" cool. coooooooooooooooooooooooool. what a song!

no updates to the 2007 top 20 week but we’re gonna publish the top 20 because i didn’t last week and you may have forgotten 20) "Get Me Bodied," by Beyonce (5.26.2007) 19) "Lip Gloss," by Lil Mama (6.9.2007) 18) "I Don't Wanna Stop," by Ozzy Osbourne (5.26.2007) 17) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 16) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 15) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 14) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 13) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 12) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 11) "Never Again," by Kelly Clarkson (5.12.2007) 10) "Can't Tell Me Nothing," by Kanye West (6.16.2007) 9) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 8) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 7) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 6) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 5) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 4) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 3) "Beautiful Flower," by India.Arie (6.16.2007) 2) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 1) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) i still enjoy all 20 of these songs. alright, 2017, low bar for ya. maybe you wanna clear it?

1 July 2017

16) "2U," David Guetta by ft./Justin Bieber

There's something I really don’t like about Justin Bieber saying "Watch me speak from my heart when it comes to you," and then having that line immediately followed by an EDM drop. Like is the drop supposed to be a substitute for words? Is the drop supposed to communicate what's in Justin Bieber's heart? Because all I hear from the drop is "what a nifty drop I am!" But this feels less like a criticism than it does like pedantry. It's OK. David Guetta is a proven programmer of pop music, and this is another solid song that he has made that I wouldn't have been able to pin to David Guetta if I listened to this blind.

70) "Love Galore," by SZA ft./Travis Scott

Worth pointing out that the first autocomplete result for love galore is "love galore travis scott," which is cool. I'm also gonna cop to having this album in my library but letting it sit because there's so much else I have to get to and this wasn't a priority. This song doesn't move the album higher in my queue, but it does have me excited to get to it. This is a dope song, this portrait of an awful relationship neither party much wants to be in, but are staying together because they love each other, whatever that means. SZA regrets hooking up with Travis Scott, Travis Scott admits he was only looking for ass and titties, they both operate independently of one another, but there's love, so there's that. And then the end, when that extremely pleasant bass line disappears, there's that single note on the keyboard and SZA going "woah," then that beat switch into SZA saying "I came here to have sex with you, and if it weren't for that, I wouldn't be here," that's just so cool, like this song is complex and intricate and it does the thing "4 AM" did last week where the music occasionally goes out of tone and it does that thing to great effect. SZA's dope. I'm excited for whatever time I get to spend with her in the future. ...OK. OK, fine, I'll fucking leave this nice dark place and go to countrydudetopia.

79) "Do I Make You Wanna," by Billy Currington

Time for a YAS REWIND, because remember last week when we talked about how many people have made it from the 2007 Hot 100 to the 2017? THIS IS RELEVANT TO THAT, because Billy Currington just became the 29th member of the Decade Dance Party! We will share the full list later in this post, because there are only 10 songs this week and most of them blow so I'ma give you some other #content this week, but it's worth noting right here that 9 of the 29 members of Decade Dance Party are country dudes. You drive down enough dirt roads, you're gonna get stuck in the mud at some point. This is a song in which Billy Currington asks his girlfriend if he makes her feel complete and safe, which is either incredibly arrogant or pathetically needy.

89) "Escapate Conmigo," by Wisin ft./Ozuna

HELL YEAH LATIN POP. Gosh, the renewal of Latin pop as a thing we listen to has been one of the best things about doing this silly thing. Like, all the Latin pop is my second favorite thing about YAS, just ahead of Kendrick week but, let's be real, a million miles behind Ashley Tisdale's cover of "Kiss the Girl." This is such a nice song. The beat bounces nicely, Wisin's flow is like "what if Lin-Manuel Miranda rapped in Spanish and was also good" (like maybe it's been a while since I heard that dude rap, but they sound so very alike), and it has one of the best mis-translated lyrics of the year with "My supergirl/The one whose smiles steal me/Tremendous wolf." Tremendous wolf. I adore that.

93) "What Ifs," by Kane Brown ft./Lauren Alaina

I see you, dude. First off, this dude's voice is incredible. Like, after listening to dude after dude either whispering softly over EDM or bleating twangily over the country beat, hearing this dude belt was An Experience. I wish the production would calm down a little bit, like this dude and Lauren Alaina could have made this song an epic ballad on their own, but nah, gotta have the electronic drums spoil a perfectly good opening guitar line, gotta have the standard pop/country things choke the life out of what could've been some cool moments. This dude's a lot like that Luke Combs fella from a few months back, not stylistically or anything, just in the sense that I bet he's cooler than he is on this song, and I trust he's not just some bro country yutz, but I'm not in any rush to check out what else he's got, despite how appealing the song title "Used to Love You Sober" is.

95) "It's a Vibe," by 2 Chainz ft./Ty Dolla $ign, Trey Songz & Jhene Aiko

This was also OK! As stated, this song was a vibe, and gosh darn, if it didn't do much more than vibe, though. A fun way to kill three minutes, a less than fun thing to listen to if you're charging yourself with the task of coming up with some unique point to make about it for to generate likes and the whatnot. S'a'ight, y'know? I'm supposed to write, what, 100 words about something thats'a'ight? I mean, I don't have to, no one ever asked me to and they clearly don't want me to, but like. It's a vibe! It's another one. Fuck it, I don't, sigh, just give me the country dudes and let's get out of this actually-pretty-decent week.

100) "It Ain't My Fault," by Brothers Osborne

OK. OK! OK, hell yeah, no, I'm sorry for calling you country dudes, 'cuz hot damn, this was great. Like, Chris Stapleton gets a lot of hype for making classic country music, but he only makes the sad slow acoustic country music, and like Johnny Cash had "Folsom Prison Blues" and "A Boy Named Sue," y'know? Not to compare this song to those, but this is uptempo classic country, this is classic country with got damn STOMP, and it's dope as hell.

Two new songs in the Top 20 for 2017! 20) "It Ain't My Fault," by Brothers Osborne (7.1) 19) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 18) "Felices los 4," by Maluma (6.3) 17) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 16) "Love Galore," by SZA ft./Travis Scott (7.1) 15) "Bad Liar," by Selena Gomez (6.3) 14) "DNA." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 13) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 12) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 11) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 10) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 9) "Strangers," by Halsey ft./Lauren Jauregui (6.17) 8) "Either Way," by Chris Stapleton (5.27) 7) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 6) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 5) "ELEMENT." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 4) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 3) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Hard Times," by Paramore (5.13) I bumped “Selfish” this week. I have no idea how that happened. 2017′s slowly becoming stacked, and/or I’m an idiot.

Who won the week?

2017. Like? 2017.

2017: 13 2007: 12

Yooge opportunity for 2017 to widen this gap, too, so I’m stoked for a solid two weeks of Chainsmokers songs and memes. Anyway, THE IMPORTANT THING.

The Decade Dance Club

30 people have made or been featured on songs that charted in the years 2007 and 2017. They are: 1) Daddy Yankee (”Impacto,” “Shaky Shaky”) 2) Dierks Bentley (”Free & Easy,” “Black”) 3) Luke Bryan (”All My Friends Say,” “Fast”) 4) Gucci Mane (”Freaky Gurl,” “Make Love”) 5) Jason Aldean (”Johnny Cash,” “Any Ol’ Barstool”) 6) Lil Wayne (”Sweetest Girl” (feat), “Running Back” (feat)) 7) Missy Elliott (”Let it Go” (feat), “I’m Better”) 8) Maroon 5 (”Makes Me Wonder,” “Cold”) 9) Nick Jonas (”Year 3000″ (w/jobros), “Bom Bidi Bom”) 10) DJ Khaled (”We Takin Over,” “Shining”) 11) Beyonce (”Get Me Bodied,” “Shining”) 12) Jay-Z (”Blue Magic,” “Shining”) 13) Linkin Park (”What I’ve Done,” “Heavy”) 14) Rihanna (”Umbrella,” “Selfish” (feat)) 15) Josh Turner (”Me & God,” “Hometown Girl”) 16) Rick Ross (“We Takin Over” (feat), “Trap Trap Trap”) 17) Faith Hill (”I Need You,” “Speak to a Girl”) 18) Tim McGraw (”I Need You,” “Speak to a Girl”) 19) Miranda Lambert (”Famous in a Small Town,” “Tin Man”) 20) Enrique Iglesias (”Dimelo,” “Subeme la Radio”) 21) Flo Rida (”Low,” “Cake”) 22) Kenny Chesney (”Beer in Mexico,” “Bar at the End of the World”) 23) Paramore (”Misery Business,” “Hard Times”) 24) Miley Cyrus (”Nobody’s Perfect,” “Malibu”) 25) Blake Shelton (”Don’t Make Me,” “Every Time I Hear That Song”) 26) Shakira (”Beautiful Liar,” “Me Enamore”) 27) Rascal Flatts (”Stand,” “Yours if You Want It”) 28) Trey Songz (”Can’t Help But Wait,” “Nobody Else But You”) 29) Billy Currington (”Good Directions,” “Do I Make You Wanna”) 30) Wisin (”Sexi Movimento,” “Escapate Conmigo”)

Shout out to Wisin for making the list, too! So that’s 30, out of hundreds, who have had a career on the pop charts that spanned a decade. Specifically, the last ten years, there’s a few folks who’ve charted in 2017 that didn’t chart in 2007 despite being things back then, such as Darius Rucker, Eminem, John Legend, Mariah Carey, and Pharrell Williams. There’s also some folks who hit in 2008 that have hit in 2017, your Katy Perries and Ladies Antebellum, that cannot make this list because, hey, it’s kind of a dumb list. But music is dumb, and this list should illustrate how hard it is to last in the music business (unless you’re a dude who makes country music), which is why it’s vitally important we spend hours and hours dissecting Lil’ Yachty lyrics.

[smolbeandrabbles]

Pride: Favourite Scar - Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody x Reader (Animal Kingdom)

Okay, as my Virtues/Sin’s are all Mendos. This one is specific to Movie!Andrew.  That doesn’t mean however, that you can’t read it as Show!Andrew. (Just... edit the colour of his eyes and the place as appropriate...)

Author’s Note: Thank you for your request @mandy23b - This one is all yours 💜

I really like the take on Pride = Proud Actually I kinda mixed together the three premises you send me a little so I hope you enjoy 😘 Disclaimer: Animal Kingdom and all characters/ideas by the wonderful David Michod 💙 / Lyrics not mine Premise As Requested:  I have this idea in my head that Smurf doesn’t like you. It’s clear she has an unhealthy attachment to her children and here you are, turning all of his attention from her to you. And I get the feeling Andrew doesn’t care for her attention, like it annoys him to have her dote on him so he’s happy to give his attention to you. So she’s cruel and mean to you. And maybe you’re not the first she’s done this to but you’re the one who stands her ground and doesn’t let Smurf push you around. And he’s so proud? Proud to call you his and proud to call himself yours? Or just moments of pride like that. Like working a job and you’re not scared to get dirty and take control and boss the other boys around and he doesn’t show it but he adores you? I don’t know… he’s my softie and I just want him and I want him to have someone he can love and trust, even if he’s extremely stoic in his affections Words: 4492 Warnings: Swearing / If you squint there’s Pre-Amble. 

_________

What you wanna talk about? Wanna stay up all night? Wanna scream and shout, sign me up then Ain’t nothing to worry about, I can take it all, that’s right, I’m your number one, don’t forget that. Every word, every scar, Messed up thing that we are, I’ll take it all, boy, better turn up your radio. I never felt like this, you shot me through my heart, Pain never felt so good, boy, you’re my favourite scar I never felt like this, you shot me through my heart, All eyes on me in the middle of the street screaming out your name And it sounds like... you shot me through the heart, You are my favourite scar. What you wanna know about ? Want me to tell you all of my sins, yeah, you first. One shot and you got me and this scar everybody sees on me, Baby, it says that I’m with you.

--- Maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand...   You are an expert at sorry, And keeping the lines blurry Never impressed by me acing your tests All the girls that you've run dry Have tired, lifeless eyes 'Cause you burned them out But I took your matches before fire could catch me, So don't look now, I'm shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town --- noun

A feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

Driving a jeep up the coastline in the blazing hot summer sunshine, full of girls in sunshades blasting music, attracted about as much attention as you expected it to. Cruising around and looking for all the right trouble in all the wrong places.   At more than one point you had to tell the two in the back to quiet down, as their cat-calling to the array of men strolling down the promenade, minding their own damn business, got a little too raunchy.  You had one arm out of the window, tapping your painted nails against your car’s own paintwork. Sometimes you wondered if they only listened to you because you were the assigned leader of the group – but as long as they were still listening. Eventually they got bored of picking on men and decided you, being in the car, were the easier target. “Hey! Y/N! Aren't you dating a Cody!?” That instantly made you smirk. Here we go! The Cody’s – not necessarily a rival crew, but similar work. None of you were related, but you were all very good friends – the Cody’s on the other hand were family. You’d always thought breaking into that might be hard, but not necessarily. “Why do you spend do much time with their crew now!?” You gave a shrug, taking another turn off to take a costal road out of the city; time for a bit more scenery and peace and quiet, you felt; “Cuz he’s hotter than all of you! And yeah I am!” you laughed “What is it to any of you anyway?!” “Well you know that we’re your crew right-!? Anyway, they already have a female member.” “I’m not necessarily sure Smurf counts as a member… But she does tell ‘em what to do – what’s your point?” There was sudden silence, like you’d dare say it; “Well… We just… we’ve heard things…” You sighed; okay, you had to admit you were happy that they worried about you – but honestly who did they think you were? It wasn’t like you didn’t know the life – you were living it yourself. Still, you humoured their concern; “What things?” “Well. She certainly doesn’t like other woman around them.” You quirked an eyebrow; “And?” but you knew exactly what they were implying. “We just want you to be careful!” You scoffed, pushing your shades further up your nose; “You guys worry too much!” *** You dropped off the girls at each of their respective houses; most of them lived together... For your own reasons you lived in a little flat alone. Because sometimes you just preferred your own company. Caleigh, your right-hand girl, refused to exit your car. "What?" you huffed, clearly impatient "You're going to go see him again, aren't you!?" "Yeah, I am. Get on with it...!" you waved at the door handle “Y/N! I just think-!" "You should let me make a mistake? There's nothing wrong with Andrew, go on!" "For once I'm not worried about the man! I'm worried about his mother-!" "Well, I'm also thinking that might be why he likes me so much." You noticed she hopped down from the car but didn't quite close the door. "Why?" "I'm easy going... I don't smother him... Whatever he wants to do I'm down. And affection is his to give and want, when he's really." "Wait, are you dating the psycho one?" "Cal!!!" Now that was just uncalled for-! "The oldest-! F**K! She'll never let him go, Y/N she won't!" "Well that's her problem, and I'm dealing with it... Can you please let me drive, now?" "I don't understand, girls even do it better - what are you getting out of him!?" You quirked an eyebrow and gave her a smirk; "Hell, I know that... But the point is it’s not easy to tell what I get. And for once, I like that mystery..." She gave you a look that let you know she still thought you were insane. "Caleigh, please, I'll be fine! It'll be worse if I don't get there because he’ll worry, then he’ll get antsy and agitated, then they have to deal with it - which will be my fault. Which certainly will make her hate me!!" Your friend reluctantly slammed the door shut, but thankfully didn't cause you to roll your eyes by telling you to be careful, so you were able to wend your way quickly through the Melbourne streets... **

It was barely 4 seconds between your knock and the door opening. Andrew looked a little less than impressed, but he had a face for it so you weren't sure if that was necessarily a true reflection of his feelings. "Hey..." he took a step back, "I thought you might be late..." "Why? You heard about town shenanigans?" If you could count the sound out of his mouth as a laugh you would, "No. But I can imagine..." he walked you through the house "How you been?" "Good... And you?" "Been better." "Oh?" you frowned; you didn't like hearing things like that from him, "Why’s that?" "How's your electrics?" "... Not bad... Why?" "-Fixing-" he added quickly "Electrics." "Not bad, why?"  you repeated and he stopped his tour in the kitchen, indicating to the kettle. "It's busted." "And you can't fix it." "No." "Buy a new one then!" That sounded like an obvious answer, but he gave you a look that plainly said Smurf wouldn't accept that. You sighed and sat on the counter; "Alright maestro, show me what you're doing wrong." He gave you a look that told you to shut up, and you couldn’t help your teasing grin. "Drink?" "Water will do, thank you Darling." Andrew rolled his eyes at you, with a gentle shove at your sarcastic cute nickname. "Water? Little light for you..." although he obliged, pouring you a glass. "Well it's not like you can make me coffee." "Shut it!" "Make me." "You're gonna wish I did..." To be honest when he was looking at you like that you did wish he would. Those beautifully haunting blue eyes belonged to a man who needed to be kissed. And often. You watched closely as Andrew tried to explain to you what he’d done. And you tried not to start smirking until he’d finished, it didn’t matter much, your amusement was present in your voice; “Good at killing, stealing and all that illegal crime shit, but not much else, huh?” And he looked up at you, clearly not amused. You burst out laughing at the look on his face; “Coulda just told me that when I started.” “Naw, why do that when I can listen to you do everything wrong in detail!” That was the wrong thing to say as Smurf strolled into the kitchen. She fixed you with a look you were getting used to. But you didn’t lie to your friends, you could handle it. “How are you doing sweetie?” You noticed the voice she put on immediately, and that flicker of almost annoyance in his eyes. When you did it to be sarcastic he pushed you with a little smile, and told you to shut up. When she did it, in seriousness, he was much more like to shy away from it. Especially if he was with you. “Eh....” he gave a shrug “It don’t work Ma...” You kicked his thigh, which didn’t help things but you could help but act like this with him; “I told you, you’re doing it wrong!!” “Well, you do it then!!” He dropped everything, fixing you with a look that told you you’d probably get rewarded if you managed it. So you bit your lip through your smirk, and hopped off the counter; “Fine I will...” Smurf huffed from the corner of the kitchen in a way that let you know she wasn’t impressed with you, nor the way you’d just talked to her son. “...Sweetie, would you like me to make you anything.” “No... I’m okay...” his voice was quiet, and he turned back to her. She’s just gonna hover Andrew, you and I both know it... And so she did, for a little. See, Smurf you found more dangerous than any of them. Because Andrew showed his emotions, and his hand, before he snapped. You knew when it was coming and how it was gonna run its course. He wasn’t predicable, you would sooner die than think that - be he had a mind that worked a certain way; so once he started it was pretty easy to tell the direction. You and Baz had become quick experts in this, and both of you had different methods to curb it. Both of you extremely grateful you had each other to do so. Who the hell else would stand up to Andrew?

But Smurf, Smurf was sweet as sugar and controlled everything... if she had a breaking point she never showed it, and didn’t seem any different over that line to normal. Unless she was always snapped. Which, also wouldn’t surprise you as the matriarch to 4 nigh-on-uncontrollable criminals. Oh, and that was before you even mentioned you were from a rival all girl gang. She thought you were gonna put her darling boys out of business. That or run around with all of them, breaking their hearts one by one. Which made you scoff at the notion; if she thought that then she didn’t understand your relationship with Andrew at all. Eventually she left the room, but you knew she’d be listening in as he watched you fix it. He ran his fingers close to yours as his body enveloped you; that was intimate enough. You turned - but he wasn’t looking at you, he was looking in the direction she’d gone. You stood; just shy of your back against his chest but his arm brushed yours and that was once again contact enough; you saw that twice across his face, and you’d damn well count that positively. “You know she hates me right...” He shook his head, maybe in denial. “She’s like that with everyone...” “Yeah, but she hates me.” “Yet you’re still here.” You tapped him with a screwdriver to turn those blue eyes of his back on you, where you wanted them. Where you could watch them grow brighter as some semblance of adoration crossed his face. “I’m here for you. Not her.” His gentle touch to your face was unexpected, and made you flinch. Andrew stilled, and you blinked; “I’m sorry...” “No it’s...” He tucked your hair behind your ear “You’re always holding your own. I’m proud of you. You better be proud of yourself.” “Proud of me? For being someone your mum hates?” “Eh... comes with the territory...” Andrew gave a shrug, his lips brushed the top of your ear gently - whether a kiss on purpose or not it had you smiling. “...Rather that than sit and take it…” “F**k that.” “Thought you might say that.” You nudged him again with your shoulder; “Let me fix your mistake Andrew Cody, before your mum starts trying to fix one she thinks you made.” “She’s afraid of you, you know.” His statement was so matter-of-fact that you weren’t even sure he was hearing himself right. “What?!” He pulled away from you, leaning on the counter the way you had been; “You’re stealing me away.” “Stealing you, huh?” “Oh, I guess not...” Andrew pressed his lips into a thin line “Afterall, you’d think stealing could mean something or someone wouldn’t come willingly...” Your eyebrow raised significantly ,and you knew now was the perfect time to tease him; “This better not be the big elope speech.” He rolled his eyes “F**k off, Y/N, and fix the thing!” You drew yourself to height “Problem there, Mr.Cody...” “Oh yeah?” “Yeah...” You breathed gently, in touching distance of his lips once more “What’s that?” He folded his arms; defiant to give you the kiss you currently craved “I don’t wanna f**k off... but I might wanna f**k you...”

***

"Oh, what the f**k is she doing here." Andrew's eyes narrowed but it was Baz that cracked Craig over the head; "OW!" "Shut the f**k up!!” "No, but seriously...!" Baz placed his hands on his hips, and took a step that made Craig concede one at the thought of being hit again; "She brought us the job you idiot! You didn't complain last time." Craig grumbled a little bit to himself again as you walked up the steps into the little warehouse you'd decided to gather in; "You all ready for this one?" "This better be good!" For some ridiculous reason, as the closest in age to you, Craig had decided you might take his spot in the team. And for some other reason only acted like this on jobs. Otherwise he was pretty nice to you. You'd figure it out, one way or another. “It isn’t bad. I’ll put it that way.” You narrowed your eyes slightly in defiance "What, this job to hard for a bunch of girls?!" He was probably getting this attitude from his mother. You still remembered the way she'd looked you up and down, and told you that you'd be better staying at home and waiting for them to get back from a job. And that jobs were no places for women. You were just as quick to point out that she was often the brains behind what they did and simply made them do the dirty work for her. Leaving the younger two gobsmacked with mouths hanging open, Baz trying desperately hard not to laugh, and Andrew looking at you like all his dreams had just come true. There had been others, you guessed, all of them unable to put up with her... And certainly unable to stand up to her. But he had you now, and you didn't dare back down. Andrew was your boyfriend; she wasn't about to take him away from you and there was no way in hell you were about to let her degrade your work just because it was a “mans” job. "A little. Maybe I just like you guys." "That or you want us to get arrested." Your eyes flicked to Andrew; "And have my life be mundane again, Craig? I don't think so..." Andrew gave you a gentle nod. And you knew at least 3 of them were confident in your abilities to tell them what to do, and handle this. Even if you were happy with the two eldest sweeping in to help control things. And so the job went as well as planned, and maybe a little better than expected. You gave everyone an even split meaning collectively they earned more than your group, but that was the point, they’d done the hard graft. And doing jobs with you meant Smurf wasn’t taking cuts from them – all around you thought this was a win-win. Probably another reason she hates me! As you drove them back to the warehouse to each get in your own cars back home, it was Craig and not Andrew who held back. One fleeting kiss and Andrew was walking back to the car with Baz (didn’t mean he didn’t fix Craig with a threatening look… of course). You folded your arms, staring at him expectedly “…Yes?” He nudged your arm; “Guess that went pretty well.” “Yeah. Thanks for the help.” Then you added sarcastically; “Guess I could never have done that without some big strong men around!” At least his laugh sounded appropriately embarrassed; “You’re… you’re alright, you know that?” You gave a smile, if that was as good as compliments got; “…Thanks Craig! You’re not so bad yourself!” You waved them all off as they called their goodbyes back to you and you couldn’t help laughing. You loved all of them; and whether Smurf wanted you there or not, you were happy to be an extended part of this family. *** Andrew always wanted affection on his terms. You were quite willing to sit in the same room as him for nearly 24 straight hours in silence, just for those glorious 10 seconds he would cross the room and sit close enough to touch you. That’s how he asked, he never said it. He never just took you in his arms. And you were pretty sure he’d never ever heard the term public display of affection... but you knew when he sat like that, with that look on his face and in his eyes, he was begging for something from you. And Smurf could never fulfil that even when she thought she could. What’s worse, is you’d seen her give love to Andrew in a way that stifled him, that made him push back - that near enough made him angry.  But she took it away too. Because sometimes, Andrew needed her to be his mother. Not his keeper. And that’s when she was at her cruellest. Andrew was a lost cause. Andrew wasn’t someone she could control. He’d been in prison, he’d done drugs, armed robbery, D&Ds and DUIs... theft, murder... you name it. Deran was the baby and a sweetheart and you liked him a lot, but he was securely under her thumb and hardly in trouble. And too timid to stand up to her or his siblings. Born into the wrong family, in your opinion. He didn’t have the nature for this... Craig, in the middle, wasn’t stable enough to break free. And as far as you could tell didn’t want to. You’d always thought his relationship with Smurf to be a little twisted and tried not to uncomfortably stare when kisses seemed to be more than just familial... When Baz would kick you under the table and give you a look. Baz was Andrew’s best friend, and his stability. And you’d often breathe and tell him you thought he was the only sane one. And he would laugh gently, and give you his best smile ‘Aw, Andrew doesn’t do too bad now he has you...’

But Andrew... On his medication was a mess you didn’t like to deal with. They dulled his personality. If you thought he didn’t feel normally, then this was worse. And you knew what they were for. But you didn’t think they were any good for him. But what could he do? Sometimes he would give you the bottle and ask you to hide them, and that scared you. But you supposed that wouldn’t have Smurf forcing him to take them. But off his medication.... oh, he was anxious, and paranoid, and angry, and reckless... any idea was a good idea and he’d damn well do anything he wanted. But in the aftermath of that... when Andrew calmed down. That was when he needed someone. And he didn’t have to look for any real affection, just to know someone was there.

And you’d seen him at that point. At the point Smurf should love him the most; regardless of whether he deserved it or not. Because she was his MOTHER.

Andrew Cody should never have to beg to be loved…

But that’s what she made him do. And you’d had enough of that. So that led to you slamming your hands on the table, and standing so fast the chair hit the floor, as you fixed her with a stare so hard it was beyond if looks could kill. “Stop it.” She tried that sweet act, but you could see her face fall already “Stop what, sweetie?” “Stop f**king what?! Stop Making him BEG for this!” Your hands hit the table again “Andrew deserves better than this family - and he deserves a better f**king mother than you!” You weren’t sure you meant that about his brothers – but hell, at that moment you didn’t really care anymore. Suddenly Andrew was no longer looking at her for anything, and was trying to manoeuvre you from the kitchen. To very little avail, other than you weren’t sure what would happen if you stayed and had a full-on screaming match with her. “You don’t deserve him!” Was as good a spit as she got at you, that had you turning in his arms as he tried to drag you out the door. And by God did he have to keep a strong grip; “No! You don’t f**king deserve him!!! You don’t F**KING DESERVE any of them!!!” There was a silence. And you knew you’d full on blown it now.

Andrew froze, because whatever either of you said next, one of you had to be the bigger woman and walk away. You took a deep breath and your voice was shaking, with anger you were desperately trying to control again. “...They are your children... they are grown men... and you should love all of them unconditionally... You shouldn’t get to choose when you give them love! And they shouldn’t have to prove they are worth it...” you stepped out of Andrew’s arms “... what you do to him... is possibly one of the cruellest things I’ve ever seen.” And hell, in your line of work, by now you’d probably seen nearly all of it. “And if that’s why he needs me... then I will fight for that. And I will give him what he needs. And maybe I’m not good enough for him. Hell, maybe I never will be... but I am what he needs, right now… and I’m gonna damn well make sure he knows he deserves to be loved like anyone else does.” You walked, because you were in tears. And they were hot, angry, bitter tears that she had pushed you to. And you almost hated yourself that you’d fallen for that push. “ANDREW DONT YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM ME-!!” Was about the last thing you heard before you whipped around and were swept from the floor. “What the f**k are you-!?” You just about managed as you were carried, shocked, to his car. “Don’t speak. Just listen.” To what? He dumped you in the passenger seat and the next thing you knew you were driving to the middle of nowhere.  And you realised that was the point. To nothing. To his actions. Hell, you should know yourself by now, they were always louder than his words. There was a smile on his face. Something you weren’t even sure he was aware he was doing. You’re doing it again Andrew... You wondered again what it was; but you thought you already knew... *** It had been a few months since that argument, and as far as you were aware the cat fight was still on. And now you only stuck around the house if she wasn’t there. Sometimes she’d come back before you left, and there would be a five second stand-off where the boys sat in silence and the tension could be cut with a knife. Luckily, none of them were taking sides… But there was a new kind of amity between the group of you. You guessed it might have been a certain kind of respect… Which let you to doing a bunch more jobs with them – and more than enough times your gang of girls got in on this too. What was more, you got to watch from afar with Andrew as they all started warming to each other. And you got to give each other that same look; try to see Smurf break this up. But, then and there, jobs didn’t always go perfectly…! Even when Andrew had your back.

"Could have gone a little better for you, huh?" "Any time you can get me back, you will..." You winced, looking at the state of your arm. Arguably not your best idea ever, even if necessary. Andrew chided you for it again. Now in your apartment, you knew that Smurf would go ballistic at him for not returning home with the rest. "Yeah. Because I care about ya." "Come off the noble act, Andrew, you just wanna tell me I told you so." "I do..." He admitted with a smile "but I want to fix up this arm first..." He pulled you to him gently, arm straight across both your leg and his. “…You really shouldn’t be so stupid sometimes.” He knew that would raise a laugh; “It’s not stupid if it works…!” “Works?” You caught that smirk and raised eyebrow as he gathered the medical equipment closer to him; “If that’s what you call it…” You raised an eyebrow and couldn’t help that tease; "What’s mummy dearest gonna say? Shouldn’t you be running back home?" He shook his head "F**k her." Your eyes widened: "Wh- OWWWW---!" you cried out as he poured saline over the gash. You were 99% sure he also wasn’t supposed to be that liberal... His eyes met yours; see. "What did you just---!! If she heard you-" Those blue hardened significantly; "I said f**k her." Andrew breathed, "I have you now... You've seen what she does... You can't possibly imagine.... How much freedom having you in my life gives me... You stand up for me, you stand up for the boys, you stand up for yourself. I've never seen that." He looked back to your arm, drying and cleaning it, he bandaged you up; " You don't realise how proud I am of ya... And I’m aware I don't really say it, but I feel it." He sat up taking your free hand in his; "Y/N you are one hell of a f**king woman."

You gave a gentle smile; "I'm proud of you for admitting that." "Oh, really?" "Mmm..." You closed that gap with a delicate thank you kiss. It was a first step. Andrew’s affection was stoic but he was learning, he would figure it out. He'd tell you, in his own way, exactly how much he loved you. And you knew discovering the how was the best part of this relationship. He pulled you to him, it was a subtle, sensitive ask. If you want, I want. And you slid forward and across onto his lap, running your hands through his hair.  "Injured?" you asked with a cheeky wink. "Oh, well, I bandaged you, you’ll be fine." "Magic, huh?" "Not quite..." he tipped his head "But you know what they say..." "And what do they say..." He gave a shrug, voice soft, pulling you to him again; "I haven't quite figured it out yet..."

Andrew ran his arms under your legs and hoisted you from the couch. He stood still for a minute to make sure that he had you supported correctly, but you were quick to move on your decision. Your fingers were already at the buttons of his blue shirt as you kissed him. He placed his forehead gently to yours as he carried you to your room, his lips grazing yours. You knew even when it was silent, when Andrew Cody looked at you like that it was the closest he would get to saying 'I love you'.

--- THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!!! 🎉🎉😘😘 🌟 6 Sins Down!!! 🌟

One to go and we’re all done!!!

@dennismitchell @happyskywhale @wltz-bby #MendoTagSquad.

[smolbeandrabbles]

Gluttony: Sugar - Nolan Sorrento x Reader (Ready Player One)

Author’s Note: 🙌🙌🙌 I want to personally thank @alotofrandomfangirling for finally. FINALLY making Nolan Sorrento produce something from my brain...

Well, okay I guess this idea came from YOUR brain, but here we ARE!

You also mentioned his office (Oh. You just knew EXACTLY what to say...!) So I’ma introduce you guys to that Head Canon of mine for those damn wine bottles now...!! 😍😍😍

I also want to thank Maroon 5 and Maren Morris for having songs titled exactly the same to the point where I COULDN’T. COULDN’T choose one. It was also completely by accident. This was all Maren’s until I didn’t specify it was her lyrics I wanted to look up...

So THIS is a 2-song fic.  Happy days!  It’s kinda cool though cuz we also get some POV Male/Female stuff going on with both so...

Did I take the “Sugar Daddy” thing too far... Yes?? Do I care. NO.

Disclaimer: As usj I don’t own anything but the writing that came from my head. Characters not mine. Plot not really mine either! #Requests Premise (As Requested): Nolan Sorrento: where he likes to spoil the reader and always ends up buying tons of delicious and expensive food for the both of them. I think since Sorrento is very rich, he wouldn't mind spending lots of money on fancy food and he would probably buy anything that makes the reader happy (i really didn't want to say the words "sugar daddy", but i guess it's really close to it 😂😂) and maybe he can bring food to his office! We both know we have a thing for his office lol Words:  5559

Warnings: Sexual Pre-Amble (it’s not overly smutty but... SINS!) / total over indulgence / If anyone has a problem with the whole Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby thing you probably shouldn’t read this...? / Maybe a tinsy bit of angst..?

Boy I’ve been cooking up one hell of a crush I’ve got you on my mind the minute I wake up You make the morning glow... get my juices flowing You know I got the spice but it ain’t enough Baby would you be my sugar, sugar? Make my heart race, even on a good day You make the world taste better, better Good on anything, want you on everything Just a little bit is all it takes Like a Coca-Cola on a Christmas Day You’re what I crave babe, what can I say? Would you, would you, Would you be my sugar, sugar? Tried the fake shit but it ain’t the same A girl just knows when it’s the real thing Yeah I’m a cup of tea with a touch of cream but something’s missing So I’m gonna put this nice and sweet -- I'm hurting, baby, I'm broken down I need your loving, loving, I need it now... You got me begging, Begging, I'm on my knees... And I gotta get one little taste Your sugar, Yes, please Won't you come and put it down on me I'm right here, 'cause I need Little love and little sympathy Yeah you show me good loving, Make it alright Need a little sweetness in my life... ...Don't leave me hanging, hanging, Come give me some When I'm without ya, I'm so insecure You are the one thing, The one thing, I'm living for I want that red velvet, I want that sugar sweet Don't let nobody touch it, Unless that somebody's me I gotta be a man, There ain't no other way 'Cause girl you're hotter than southern California Bay... --- noun 1.    habitual greed or excess in eating.

You couldn’t believe how nervous you were. Maybe you were just excited? That was probably it. The way your heart hammered in your chest as the sleek black car drove you through Columbus towards IOI Plaza. Seeing Nolan was usual. But Nolan calling you all the way from his apartment to his office? You’d never been to his office before.

You’d been in IOI plaza before. In loyalty. Only, Nolan Sorrento thought you were far too pretty to be in loyalty. So he’d offered you two choices. Either you could work for him as a Sixer. Or you could do this. What he didn’t know was that by offering you this he was also offering you your wildest dreams. You weren’t from the stacks, but, you certainly weren’t from his world either. Caught somewhere in the inbetween… The pocket of people who were not corporate material, but also… weren’t the poverty-stricken limits of Columbus those in corporate liked to pretend didn’t exist. But that also made you pretty invisible, being neither one nor the other. That ignored middle ground – unless you got yourself thrown in a loyalty centre. Then Nolan Sorrento hadn’t ignored you. You knew exactly who he was; the steel grey, steel blue, tailored suit, lean, smooth voiced smart mouth who usually popped up on service boards around the globe promoting something for IOI. And made you feel things you didn’t think you’d ever felt for a man of his age. And you revelled in his attention. As he did in yours you supposed; such was the nature of your relationship. But you weren’t supposed to act like you craved his attention, only like you wanted to be there. Oh and you wanted to be there alright… Walking into the IOI offices you recognised immediately why you’d been called here. The board that hovered about everyone in the OASIS as a constant reminder that no one had actually got the First Key in 5 years was also present here. Only, now there was one name on it. And it wasn’t his. You bit your lip – you weren’t sure you were going to like Sorrento if he was having a bad day… Did you even know what that was like yet? You knew what he was like when he was frustrated and he came back to his apartment. Because he would hand you his card and have you go out and buy whatever you wanted. Or he would sit you down and you would both choose things for you. Because seeing you happy made him happy – apparently. But that was just work frustrations. This… Was something entirely different. Your escort, one of his many assistants, left you at the bottom of a set of stairs with a smile – which you returned. Taking a deep breath you glided up the steps to his office in your heels, still watching the board curiously. Who was Parzival? No. Maybe that wasn’t the correct first question to ask. You knocked to a soft hum and “Come in!”, so you entered. “Heyyyy…!” The smile on his face couldn’t be bigger “Just the person… I needed to see.” You bit your lips together and let the door go, trying to suppress your smile for just a second. You needed to see him too… He stood, rounding his desk and crossed to you; “Did you have a good day?” You nodded “Good enough.” “Good…” He stopped in front of you, but he didn’t touch you. This relationship had boundaries of its own. And he had to get clearance from you to do so. That was torture enough in itself. You didn’t think it was appropriate to ask him the same question; “…May I ask why you called me here?” What couldn’t wait until he was back home? He shrugged; “I could be working late. I didn’t think it was good for me to get lonely… Please… Darling… Sit…” He indicated to plush chairs arranged neatly around a black glass coffee table. As he did so, his hand ever so slightly brushed your back. It was enough to give you a small shiver of delight. “You could just have sent me shopping?” There was a reason he wanted you here. “Is that what you want, Darling?” He pulled his wallet out of his pocket, making you instantly shake your head. “Not particularly… Not today, anyway.” Nolan was smiling again, you weren’t sure what it was about buying you things that he liked so much. Maybe he thought he was buying your attention…? Or your love..? You were sure he’d suggested the idea because he wanted you; that he wasn’t convinced you could ever want him. Part of you wanted to tell him he didn’t need to… Part of you took enjoyment out of the fact that he did. You’d never been in a situation where you could have exactly what you wanted when you wanted it. Money wasn’t supposed to buy happiness, and you always had to force yourself to remember that, but… gratuitously… You thought it could get damn close sometimes. “Good. Because I thought perhaps I could treat you to dinner?” He was asking it as a ‘would you mind if I showed you off at dinner’ question. You were glad you’d opted to wear a nice dress. Mind you, you always wanted to look nice when you saw Nolan anyway… “Of course you may. Where are we going?” You had to check “Is this okay?” He sat opposite you, crossing one leg over the other “Darling, you always look fabulous. No one else in that room is going to compare to you.” But then he steepled his hands together, like he was about to make a business proposal “But. No… I… meant here.” Dinner here?! How did that work. “Oh!” You knew you looked surprised “Okay…” He smiled again “Everyone should be leaving work soon, if you wouldn’t mind waiting here. I shall be right back.” He stood “Are you sure you don’t want this…?” He pulled his card out of his wallet and indicated to the tablet sitting on his desk; “Not even for your avatar?” You stood, taking the card from him and studied it for a minute, before giving him a teasing smile and sliding it into his shirt pocket. Tapping it gently “No. It sounds like you have ideas of your own.” He walked over to his coat stand and pulled down his heavy navy overcoat. The collar stood out in black and it hugged him nicely. You bit your lip; he always had to shrug out of his suit jacket to put it on. As he was doing right now. The muscles in his back strained gently across the quality of the fabric of his blue-grey shirt. Boy oh boy did he have no idea what he did to you. He slipped the coat on and there it was again; that fit across his shoulders. You could hardly stop yourself smirking. He retrieved his car keys from his desk and continued talking without facing you, “Alright... I shouldn’t be too long gorgeous. Sit tight okay?” “I will...” He smiled at his desk and locked his desktop. You took a breath. The temptation was too great to resist “You always look sexy in that coat.” He froze, with one hand on the door to his office and his gaze swept to you, finally.

His face read a multitude of things. He looked halfway to a blush... except his eyes; they had this wicked glint about them that told you that you’d taken a well calculated risk. “Thank you.” Was what Nolan’s voice said, almost level. But there was hints that he was quite perplexed. Technically he paid you for your affection. But he didn’t pay you for compliments. You snuck them in, rather than showered him in them, to make sure he recognised that you meant every word. But, you always meant every word.

 Your mobile buzzed gently in your lap and you smiled knowing, looking to the screen of the IOI technology. ‘Sorrento: Call Me’ He could have called you but he always liked you calling him, mostly so he could leave his phone in the most conspicuous place possible and have your picture flash up and everyone ask the same question; “Who is she?” But he was in the car. So... that wasn’t the problem. Maybe it just gave him an ego boost seeing your name appear... You appeased him anyway; “Hello?” “Hello… Darling… I should have asked before I left, I’m sorry…” You heard the smile in his voice, and you could see it as clearly as if he was still here. “I wanted to ask you want you want… I’ve got a few ideas but, it’s only polite that I ask you. As I asked you to dinner…” Dinner was really the last thing on your mind, and you almost smirked… You honeyed your voice, with just the right smile to make sure that he could see yours too; “Sweet things, Sugar.” You rolled your tongue over your lips to leave just the right length of pause “Right now I’m craving something… sweet.” It was right there in his response, how it made him feel. How your use of Sugar held far more than just one significance. “Okay.”

Back in his car this time Nolan Sorrento did flush bright red, and loosened his tie, letting the window down just a little. Oh my god... he couldn’t help but wonder if that voice was filled with promises? Or just you teasing him again... he liked it when you did that. It was playful. But it was also always affectionate. He knew you meant it, when you looked at him with those eyes of yours, that little smile on your face. How behind the tease in your voice was the honest clarity that you hoped he would catch... He was observant, so he did. Nolan bit his lip gently and took a deep breath – eyes flicking to his navigation system “…I know just the place…” *

When Sorrento returned to his office you were sitting in his rig, legs swinging lazily over the side, your dress pooled in your lap, showing them gracefully off. Your heels were in your right hand, dangled off the edge of the seat. You had a touch of class that he liked. He was carrying a stack of boxes piled according to size and many done up in multicoloured ribbons, in his other hand a carrier like the kind you’d find in a luxury fashion brand store when you purchased something. And you knew a lot about those now.

Across the side in script was “Token of My Confections” It piqued your interest. That sounded like he’d picked it on purpose. So you smiled. But to him you lit up his office. "…So. Sweet can still get healthy. But I didn't go for a complete sugar rush cuz... Y’know... Balance." Then he smiled across to you as he set everything down, "annnd the calories? On me... Eh...." He gave a sharp intake of breath, "my metabolism isn't what it used to be." Nolan’s idea of exercise and yours were at least similar. And from time to time you would also see him in a track suit walking around his apartment. The Same NS IOI stamped across it as featured so often on his ties. Yet, there was no real exercises equipment around, so you wondered exactly what he did. You didn’t ask, and he was never that bothered in telling you. However... it was a lot easier to unzip a tracksuit jacket and take a shirt and tracks off than it was undo a tie and all those damn buttons...

 Still, either way, you liked a challenge. He got half way through shrugging his coat off before you sat up, swivelling in his rig you crossed to him to help him do the rest. Allowing you to run your hands across his chest and down his arms. He afforded you a gentle groan for your efforts that you would keep for yourself. “Thank you.” Nolan tilted his head and watched you run back to his coat stand to hang it up; “You didn’t have to do that” “But I wanted to...”  You walked yourself back to him. One foot then the other. Almost cat like. And he watched you, virtually expressionless. But you saw the change in his breathing. The way his lips parted. "Do you want some help?" "No... It’s okay darling, please sit." He indicated again to the plush leather seats, as he had when you'd first walked in. "Let me do this for you."

You didn't protest, but you mirrored the smile he was giving you. As sweet as what you hoped was in those boxes. You couldn't help it. Sometimes he was borderline adorable. You wondered how many people knew the ruthless CEO of IOI like you did... Nolan'd stated a bunch of times he'd do anything to win Halliday’s contest but... Whenever he was away from the office... You wondered if anything, he could have more limitations than he would ever let on. Was that ruthlessness fabrication…?

You opted to lounge yourself on the couch, so then he could sit next to you, rather than across from you. You knew by the look on his face he was thinking the same thing, as he pulled gently at the box ribbons. He never took those steel blue eyes from yours. If you could dream it, he’d probably bought it. And when Sorrento said ‘healthy’ what he really meant was Fruit was included. There was just one box he left unopened; “Nolan, you can’t expect me not to ask what’s in that.” “Never you mind. That’s for later.” “Later?” You questioned as he relaxed himself into the seat next to you; “Yeah. Dessert.” Your face clearly read amused; “Dessert?” Your eyes flicked from what already seemed to be beyond dessert and back, to him. But Nolan couldn’t hide his own joke from you and pretty soon the smile on his face became a full laugh. “Okay. So. Second dessert. Whatever…” He pointed to the box, “Point is, last.”

You decided that sitting like this with him so close to you was just a shade boring. Probably not for him; but he was patient and a good man, Sorrento wouldn’t touch you without asking. And certainly not without you letting him. Most of the time he would let you initiate contact, but, you usually let him take it as far as he wanted to. Right now, Nolan was content to have catch-up conversation. He considered every question you asked him carefully, and gave your every word his undivided attention. You offered him the same, always. You were here because that was what he wanted. Someone who actually cared about him. Someone who would keep him company and actually listen to him when he had days like this. He paid you to do that. Sometimes you wished he didn’t. Sometimes you wished this was more real – but then, it struck you that this must have been real. Because you knew how you really felt about him… And were you not certain that he might feel that way about you too? But you were paying off a debt being here; if you told him what you really wanted, what would he do with what you still owed IOI…? “…What about the competition…?” Eventually you had to voice your observation of the leader board. “Oh. No. That’s okay. There are 3 challenges… Not the one, and this guy isn’t clanned up. It’s fine. We can still do this.” “You’re not upset?” “It’s disappointing.” Sorrento gave a shrug “But, no…” he chuckled “I’m sure the board will have other ideas. But… Sitting here right now that’s hardly a concern of mine… When was the last time you were in the OASIS anyway…? What gets you so concerned about Halliday’s challenge?” “… You …” It was sincere and it struck his heart too, the worry in your eyes. “Me?!” he chuckled again and then his face almost fell; “Oh-! Oh you… Do you think that’s why I called you here-!?” You didn’t want to say yes or no. You did, but it was clear that if you said ‘yes’ he’d be hurt. Nolan was already trying not to show hurt on his face – but it translated very well to his eyes; “No, no, no, my darling, I would never do that… I just… wanted to see you…” “I know.” Did you? “…I didn’t mean to insinuate that you would…” That allowed you to make a move though, leaning your body into his you wrapped your arms around him and rested your head on his shoulder. He settled into your embrace with a smile; cuddling you into him further Sorrento let out a gentle sigh as you kissed his neck. Oh… okay…! It felt good, he had to be honest, after a long day that you would ask him about it… that you would do this for him at all… He always made the same encouraging noises whenever you touched him like this. As if he was subtly asking you to never let him go. You wondered if it was because he could never ask you out loud. If, just like with this competition, that would show something in him he never wanted anyone to know. But you saw right through him – Nolan Sorrento was vulnerable. Asking you something like that, or losing this game would show weakness. But you didn’t understand why he found that so bad? Because he was the CEO of the second biggest company in the world? Because the board expected him to be so ruthless? That only made you dislike his company – if Nolan Sorrento wasn’t the man on all those billboards, why did they allow him to be? Why did he force himself to be…?

You pondered this as you nuzzled yourself further into his body; entwining your legs with one of his, you snuggled into his chest. The subtle encouragement from you was for him to wind his arms further around you, to continue to pull you closer to him – and of course he did; because he wanted that. Tangling his fingers into your hair. “Hold up-! I don’t want to get crumbs everywhere…!” Nolan finished the sweet in two quick bites and swallowed, and then his fingertips were brushing your skin – and you let out a different kind of sigh than he had. Than the sigh his made as you ran your fingers into his hair. Every touch you afforded him was sheer bliss. And too often you wondered why he kept himself from that… Sat on him (lets be honest, now on him.) like this you suddenly found yourself facing his extensive collection of wine bottles. Sat behind a glass case, well back lit. You knelt up on him in an attempt to read the labels you were squinting at. Why would he keep wine bottles in his office? Displayed in such a way? Were they for clients? Were they to celebrate the successes of IOI? “What?” He asked gently, hands now respectfully on your waist rather than your thighs. He swivelled his head to follow your line of sight; “Oh. Yeah.” You were tipping your head to try and read the names, still to no avail, he pushed gently; “Go on darling… Go pick one.” “Huh?!” You looked down to him, to that small smile he was giving you “Oh-! No, I -! Just wanted to know what they were.” “- For special occasions. So…” He smiled again “Go pick one.” You couldn’t keep yourself from leaning down; “Special occasions?” “I think so.” You couldn’t help the small laugh, before you kissed him; it was tender and seemed to hit you with a sugar rush that you were fairly certain you were already on. The way Nolan groaned gently into it, again, and let you take his hands in yours. You broke it far too quickly, but you were intrigued by what was so special about them, and hopped from his lap.

He sat up to watch you run over, analysing them all eagerly; “…What is so special…” You were trying to make any kind of connection between them… The dates… The places? Campania was a word that came up again and again… Aside from that, you could guess that the bottle marked 1999 was his birth year. He didn’t exactly keep his age a hidden secret. You turned to him, “What is Campania?” “ Campania.” He repeated it with an Italian flare you couldn’t hope to replicate, but that also sent a delightful shiver up your spine “It’s the region in Italy that the fair city of Sorrento is located in. Pretty great for wine.” He also added the flair to Sorrento and saying his own name like that almost made you let out something a little more vocal. You had no doubt then that this man was fluent. You had to turn back to the wall of bottles to hide your smirk – hell, wasn’t Italian one of the Romantic languages? Why hadn’t the name ‘Sorrento’ made that click for you!? “…And the dates?” “Important years.” “I guessed ‘99.” “Aha-!” His laughed was slightly embarrassed. “…The year I joined IOI… The year I became CEO… It’s all up there.” “So... Which one am I supposed to pick?” “Darling, the choice is yours.” You pulled a bottle down, “It’s gonna leave a space?” “I’ll get another. I’m not worried about that either. I want to share one with you.” You smiled and walked over to him. 1999, Sorrento, Campania. Red. “Age is just a number.” You put the bottle down, “Glasses…?” This time he stood, with a slight smirk; “I got this.” You pushed yourself onto your toes to brush your lips to his teasingly; sinking back with a raised eyebrow coupled with a smile; “Oh. I have no doubt.”

**

 You moved across his office in stages, (making sure not to leave a trail of crumbs as you did so!) as you made your way through both everything he had bought and a bottle of wine. Which was beyond good. It wasn’t like he was picking just any bottle with the year 1999 stuck on it. It demanded to be sipped, not drunk. You started back on the sofa; but you moved to the rig if only because his data pad pinged and he needed to fire off a couple of emails. But Nolan still held you close, and then started scrolling through a website to show you these bottles for himself. You sat and tousled his hair as he did this; loving the feel of it through your fingertips – at the way he laughed but never asked you to stop. He was clearly something of a wine connoisseur… But he wasn’t overly obnoxious, as he sipped his glass, he kept telling you what you were supposed to be tasting – but there was nothing pretentious to it. More like he was giving you a whole history about a region of Italy you could only dream of, but presumably where his family’s ancestry could be traced back to.  And there was not a thing he mentioned that you couldn’t taste. You noted as he made a purchase to replenish the shelf, how damn EXPENSIVE the bottles were. You looked back and counted them again, wincing at how much money was sitting around waiting to be drunk. You knew he spent on you, that maybe that was his way of trying to show you affection… But you knew he could love… Maybe he thought he wasn’t any good at it. Maybe everything he loved left? You glanced back to Nolan as he excused his attention from you to write another email. That would change a person… Maybe his heart had been so broken, that buying love kept him safe? You shook your head to yourself; you would change that. You would show him that he could love. And he could love you.

Now you were sitting back on his desk, and he was relaxed in his office chair. And finally he’d opened that last box “OH MY GOD!” “See, best for last!” “That’s red velvet cake.” “Yeahhhh… Cuz you only go on and on about it…” You nudged him gently; “It my favourite.” “I know darling. I know…”

 He’d neglected and subsequently silenced his work. But it had been nearing 5pm when you had arrived, and although you hadn’t looked at a clock since then, you knew that it must have been getting well on into the evening. You were glad he was allowing himself respite. He deserved it. Nolan Sorrento worked hard and played hard. And was playful with you even now, the way he let you almost feed him a piece of cake before you would lure him into a kiss. That would last for just about an appropriate amount of time. And he let you do it again and again before he chuckled; “You know I am actually gonna want a piece of that at some point this evening.” “Aren’t you full!?” “No.” He sat back and tipped his head, with another smirk that threatened to un-calm your heart. “…Are you?” You shook your head, devouring another forkful and turned back to the box; he made you feel slightly bad about it. So you cut him a piece and handed him the plate. “Oh? A whole slice. I should be so honoured!” He took it with a grateful smile, that extended to his blue eyes. “Well, I feel if you’re sharing your special occasions wine with me…” He chuckled and took a forkful for himself – “True…! Oh. Mm-! Gorgeous!” Though he made sure he wasn’t looking at the cake as he said this, but you. That only made you blush, and you were sure about it. Shaking your head as if to forget it. Nolan was now repeatedly tracing his fingers over your legs, as your feet rested in his lap, with his free hand. And each mouthful of cake was thoughtful. You took a breath to match the relaxed feeling, but you had an idea you needed to voice; “You know, what we really need is ice cream...” “Ice cream... really?” His voice edged teasing and he gifted you with another cocky little smirk. Your eyes widened in genuine excitement “You have some?!” He gave a shrug, toying with you, as you had him “Maybe…” He sighed, “I couldn’t possibly say!” “Nolan-!” He held his hands up to calm you down, but looked amused as he walked over to another cupboard in his office. Just like a mini bar at a hotel, this was built into the rest of the furniture. You were almost in disbelief that this was actually happening; “You actually have ice cream.” You watched the way his gorgeous blue eyes flicked from shelf to shelf, illuminated by the harsh light; “Yeah; what flavour though… This is kinda limited…” “Vanilla.” Otherwise the ice cream would threaten to overpower the cake. And that would be no good. “Vanilla…?” He let the question linger for a second “That seems a bit tame.” You didn’t notice it at first; “It’s the only one that’s gon-” You paused. Did he just-? Had he just-?! He noticed you’d noticed at the way he was smirking at his fridge; blatantly refusing to turn back to you. You folded your arms and opened your mouth; but you weren’t sure there would be any words to do the moment justice. What was he saying…? There was something niggling you about that sentence. He was telling you you could stop it if you wanted. You could say something and put a stop to it right now. You didn’t want to.

He walked back and set the tub on his desk; “Now we just have to wait for it to melt appropriately.” The way his eyes remained locked on yours let you know he was doing it again. He was waiting for you to say stop. For you to guide his prompt. Subtle or not. “…What so we can actually use a spoon on it?” You decided if you enquired innocently enough, he might pick up on something else “…In which case I feel you could turn the fridge down. OR heat the spoon but that would mean leaving your office which would obviously be bad…” You pulled him closer to you by his tie so that he had to place his hands on either side of your hips; “…I mean this is for the cake, right?” Your feigned innocence wasn’t fooling him in the slightest; “Oh?! Is that what you asked for it for…? No. I was thinking of the optimum temperature to melt it all over you…” There it was. What you wanted to hear. And you were pretty sure he knew that. You pulled at his tie to unfurl the knot – making it clear to Nolan you weren’t messing around. And a spark went off in those clever blue eyes. “Is that okay?” “Yes.”

His lips were on yours before you even got most of the word out, winding your legs around his as he pushed yours further apart to fit between them. He was quicker to find the straps of your dress than you were his shirt buttons, and you only managed one before he was pushing you back onto his desk. Releasing your lips. Nolan continued to work your dress down your body; but he wasn’t removing it completely just yet. Short enough to have also ridden up at his hungrier kisses, you were now almost completely exposed to him. Tracing his fingers gently up your thighs again he let out a gently huffed laugh; Sorrento bit his lip as his eyes trailed your body. You touched his hand but you didn’t stop him – it was more reassurance. Even though you’d said yes. He wanted you to touch him, as much as you wanted him to touch you. And hell, you knew he needed it more than you did.

Nolan’s hand left you for a moment and he picked up the ice cream – you watched as his face became satisfied. You guessed it was melted enough. He loaded his spoon up and ate it for himself. Well, that wasn’t fair! The satisfaction then moved to his voice; “MMMMh-!” He licked the spoon and then his lips as his eyes looked back to you; “That’s really good…” You opened your mouth in protest but he barely gave you any time to react; “It’s gonna taste better on you.” You couldn’t help the shocked breath that emanated from your chest. Oh.  He smirked again. Leaning in for one final kiss; you could taste the vanilla on his tongue… He was right – it was delicious. You wondered if by the end of the night he’d let you melt it over him too… Otherwise this would just be greedy on his part-! He straightened and went for the spoon again “This is probably going to be quite cold. You’re still okay?” You gave a nod. To be honest, you weren’t sure you would care what it was, you just wanted that sinful tongue he was currently rolling over his lips running all over you instead. “Okay… Good.” He dipped the spoon back into the tub. His office wasn’t incredibly hot, but his body heat as he held it his hands allowed the ice cream to melt even faster. And pretty soon it was liquified enough in places for him to drip it over you. It was slow going, but the second the first drip hit your skin your body gave a lurch. Colder than you expected for melted ice cream. Oh God-! He would have paused only the rate it was running off the spoon wouldn’t allow him to. The drips were sporadic from your hips to your chest and when he finally put the spoon down to stand back and admire his handy work your eyes were incredibly dark. “Oh…. Y/N… My darling girl…” Sorrento’s signature smirk was spreading across his face at the sight of you “…I think you might enjoy this as much as me…” You weren’t sure you could tell him otherwise, as you reached out to pull him back to your lips by his shirt. Probably, was about your only coherent thought, as your fingers ran for his buttons again, he pulled away from you just as you managed to get to the last one. Nolan shook his head with a gentle growl; “Don’t let this think it’s going to distract me…” He left one last kiss on your lips before kissing down your neck your chest and then finally his tongue hit that first drip of ice cream. And you couldn’t help your moan. Nolan---! You raked your nails through his hair as he continued his trail down your body. Nolan-! NOLAN-! God, why was this so sexy!? This WAS so sexy though. And then his name was spilling from your lips.  And he smirked against your skin. He raised his head so that his eyes met yours. “Oh-! Y/N…” He took that spoon back in his hand; voice purring “…Don’t you dare stop now…” --- Which is probably what you just yelled at the screen, amirite? 😉❤ Thank You For Requesting! 💕😘💕 4 Sins Down! @happyskywhale @dennismitchell Sorry! I know one of you has already seen this-! I’ll get better at tagging!! 

[smolbeandrabbles]

Sway Pt.5 - Danny Rayburn x Reader (Bloodline)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Here / Part 6  / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10

Author’s Note: This is it! The infamous chapter I wrote twice!! To make up for it, I’ve added in a bunch of stuff that wasn’t there before like more Jase/Javi/Danny banter. I actually LOVE their dynamic... Yeaaah I wrote a scene based on another scene because I couldn’t HELP it. The gifs will prove that! Valentine’s Day doesn’t even necessarily have to be the setting for any of the following to happen... Only, it was near Valentine’s Day at the time and it all made a lot of sense in my head. So, celebrate Valentine’s Day a month late, why don’t you? (haha...) + Bonus. I made a Gerry reference. 😉

Disclaimer: As started before, I own nada by my OCs. I took some lyrical liberties with ‘Slow Dance in a Parking Lot’ by Jordan Davis. Sue me! Please don’t actually sue me. I finished Bloodline and it actually hurts, so, I’m going to be “stealing” a bunch of ideas/lines... Here is the very first scene stealing moment, though.

Premise: The Premise is Valentine’s Day, need I say more? I tried not to be horribly Cliche... 

Word Count: 7748

Warnings: Drinking, Sexual Pre-Amble  (a-la-pt-4). The knowledge this will never be as good as the version I actually deleted? I had a breakdown in the middle of my living room over that, it deserves a warning

…And I don't care what song comes next I'm falling right here, don't want a safety net. In a slow dance with you Spinning you around by the restaurant sign Moving our feet over the painted white lines Getting close to you Making the most of whatever we got Even if it's just a slow dance in a parking lot

----

I want to wear his initial On a chain round my neck, chain round my neck Not because he owns me, But 'cause he really knows me Which is more than they can say

Danny couldn’t believe that another month had flown by. As he flicked the calendars in the restaurant to February. You’d been dating since the previous summer. And things were getting serious. He couldn’t remember the last time that he had been in a relationship this long. But, he was glad for it. Jason whistled as he turned over the calendar in the kitchen; “Busiest day of the year ahead Danny! You gonna leave us in the lurch!?” Danny turned to him, confused “What?” “Valentine’s Day! C’mon man, what are you doing with Y/N!!” He turned back to the calendar, eyes wide, oh. God! “…I wasn’t going to go anywhere… I was gonna come… here… Oh my God!” “Danny!!!” Jason couldn’t believe it “Did you forget about Valentine’s Day!?” “When was the last time I ever did anything on Valentines!?” He turned to Jason “It’s always been just another day…! Crap! She’s gonna kill me!” “Probably!” Jason laughed Javier poked his head through the kitchen window at the commotion; “What is up!?” “Danny forgot Valentine’s Day.” “WHAT!?” Javier laughed “NO! Danny! THE most important day for any girl in a relationship!?” “Stop it! Both of you! What am I gonna do! I can’t leave you all – you’re right, it’s traditionally one of the busiest days of the year…! God, can I really bring her here again??”

Whilst he mulled this over in his head, half in panic, Javier disappeared from the window, and then waltzed through the kitchen doors. The grin on his face obvious with what he was going to do; “…How are you gonna approach that one?” “He’s got 14 days…” Jason folded his arms, just as intent on hearing Danny’s plan – that he had about 5 seconds to come up with… Danny put his head in his hands “I’m just gonna have to owe her big time…” He thought on it “No, maybe… Maybe I can make this right… I’ll go a little off menu… Something she’ll really like. Then in a few weeks when it isn’t so busy I’ll take her out…” “It’s almost booked up!” Javier turned to the book to check it out, and became concerned with how busy he would be that night; “I’ll find somewhere for her! It’s my place!” “…Well, You got two weeks!” Jason pointed back to the calendar he had just changed. “Don’t forget the gift! Girls love gifts!” Danny made a noise like they weren’t making it any easier, which they weren’t. Javier almost tutted “Can you imagine? Poor, poor Y/N... She'll be expecting a long-" "Loooong!" Jason chimed in, with an eyebrow wiggle "Romantic night...!" "So romantic!" Jason put his hand over his heart as Javi put an arm around him and continued; "Michelin star restaurant, Miami skyline view, Danny's money paying... The works Valentines... As only she deserves. But picture this instead..." He held his hands out emphasising the two words of the restaurant name; "Viva Caputa. Again! And two measly hours of her boyfriend’s time." Danny looked like he was on the verge of anger at their teasing, and Javier narrowly missed the towel that was thrown his way. "You two are SO not getting paid this month!" "What!! DANNY!!" "OH! NO!!" But he cracked a smile and laughed anyway "You fuckin' deserve it! Overtime. Neither of you are getting on dates either!" "Oh! Just another romantic evening with Danny Rayburn - lucky us!!" Javier laughed at Jason's statement as he left the kitchen: "We’ll be Danny's dates! We’ll actually see more of him than she will..!" "Javi, don't you have tables to wait!?" "I'm going!" He called back as the doors swung closed behind him. "Good cuz I don't pay you to stand and chat!" "You just said you weren't paying us." Danny gave Jason a warning look "You can get back to work and all!" Jason beamed; "I love you too Danny!"

* You rolled your car to a stop outside his restaurant later that day; “Hey!” “Hi.” He hopped in, unsure how to broach the subject “…So…Uh… I was thinking…” “Yeah? Go on…” “…Valentine’s Day’s coming up.” You looked across to him, you knew that… Of course you knew that. You just hadn’t expected Danny of all people to be talking to you about it. He didn’t seem like the type to be taking you on a Valentine’s date. And you had to be honest, that was fine with you… You weren’t sure you’d mind not doing anything. “Yes?” “…Well… It’s… one of the busiest days in the business… And I can’t leave those guys all alone in there…” “And that’s fine…” “SO I was wondering…” he bit his lip “…If you wanted to… or you wouldn’t mind, coming down to my restaurant.” Before you had chance to reply he continued quickly “I’ll do something off menu, it’ll be exclusive. I know you… So… I think I can get that right… I just, I’m sorry. I’ll have to make it up to you…” You smiled, Danny Rayburn was so full of surprises; “Ok. Fine, I’ll come down to your restaurant “…On one condition.” He looked across to you, suddenly nervous about what you might say, and swallowed hard “…Anything.” “…Don’t buy me anything. Please? We’re not doing gifts it’s too… cliché… We’re not… No. Please, don’t buy me anything… I don’t need anything either…” “What!? So you’re not going to get me anything!?” He faked hurt, his mouth open “No! Shut up! That’s not what I said, I said – you can’t buy me anything! I just won’t get you something either then it’s fair!” He took out his mobile to call back to the restaurant. "Are you sure!? This is your last chance before they pick up! All I can promise is a good table and me for a couple of hours, not even the whole evening - You can back out!" If you weren't with him you didn't want to be out on Valentine’s Day at all. You couldn't believe when it would be so busy he'd even take a few hours out for you... "Danny I don’t care!" You forgot the rest of your sentence, and paid for it. He gasped in pretend shock "You don't care!?...AND I’m not good enough for a gift!?” He laughed, turning his attention back to his mobile as you heard Javier pick up; “Unbelievable!” * You studied yourself in the mirror. Was red too much of a Valentine’s Day colour? Were you about to become the cliché you’d sworn you weren’t!? You had to be honest with yourself you weren’t even sure you’d be wearing red, if it wasn’t for the fact that you had gone out and brought this dress specifically for tonight. It was the same cut as the one you had worn the first time you had frequented his restaurant. And the split up the side showed off your Miami tan. You had gone all out tonight to look flawless. Not for yourself. But for him. Your hair and makeup was perfect, your heels just the right height, and you felt good. The final touch, as ever, was your favourite perfume… You wondered if Danny would remember it from before… Gathering your things together you walked confidently down to your car, loving the sound of your heels striking the floor. You turned up your music loud as you made your way to his restaurant. You weren’t sure about the alcohol involved in tonight for you to be driving… You’d either have to take it slow, or take a cab. It didn’t matter; you could simply collect your car tomorrow… No-one would mind you leaving it overnight. When you arrived in the parking lot you weren’t surprised to see it packed. Luckily for you, dating the man who owned the place had its privileges. Tonight it really paid off; as only the staff parking spaces were free. You knew Danny had a car but, he didn’t have it with him tonight… You rolled your own neatly into his parking space and took a deep breath. Time for your big entrance. When you rounded the corner to the front of the restaurant they were queuing out of the door. Surely this wasn’t people who had reservations!? It was crazy; even for Valentine’s day you’d never seen Danny’s this busy. You smiled to yourself, quite proud – he was going to do well tonight. You walked past the line, which continued inside, where Javier caught you;

“Amorcita! Come, come! Right this way!” “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it this busy!” “Trust me… neither have we…” He took your hand and led you; “You look stunning… By the way. Danny doesn’t know what he’s missing by not taking you out!” “When it’s this busy, you best be glad he’s here…!” You followed Javier to a table in the back of the room, where it was quieter. Danny had clearly carefully chosen this spot… “You better like this table! You will not believe the number of times I have had to set it and re-set it!” You could imagine, it was for you - Even perfection would not be good enough for Danny tonight. You smiled gently as Javier sat you so you faced the kitchen; “Now you can at least look at your man whilst he’s working… Though how dare he, when you look this good?” You laughed “Well, Javi, let’s face the facts… We’re both going to be in agony waiting…” He smiled; “I’ll let him know you are here. Trust me, I’ve never seen a man more excited about creating off the menu pieces… He’s been looking forward to this for two weeks… Can I get you your usual drink?” “Oh. No. Javi… That’s okay… I don’t want to get too… drunk?... Tonight… I’m driving.” “Oh… Well, you know, I’m sure Danny’s got something in mind that goes with EVERYTHING he’s made…” He checked his watch; “You think he’d come say Hi…” “He’s busy Javi… But please do let him know I’m here…” He nodded, and left to remind Danny EXACTLY what time it was.

* Javier made sure all of his tables were happy before he made his way back over to you. “SO, whilst Danny is busy. I’m going to be your date!” You laughed; “Why?” “Sorry… Why…?! Because you are the most beautiful girl in the room. And everyone knows it.” You had to admit, whilst you had been sitting here alone, with your thoughts, nearly everyone in the room had been staring at you, glancing over and whispering about the mystery girl who had shown up here dressed to perfection without a date. Who was the guy? And when would he be showing up? It had only made you smirk to yourself. You wondered how they would react when they realised it was Danny? That man sure deserved to show you off tonight; what was wrong with being the eye-candy on his arm just this once? You wanted to prove that he could get the girl – and you had dressed up for him. Not for anyone else. Still, you were flattered by Javi’s compliment “Thank you…” He placed a bottle of your favourite coloured wine on the table, and by the label clearly an expensive one; “Danny says nothing less than the top shelf will do tonight. So he’s really treating you. As I knew he would…” Javier smiled “You’re really good news for him… You know?” “…SO many people tell me that, like’s he’s bad news.” “He’s had his ups and downs. Especially in his love life. They are quite some stories…” He lent on his hand; “But the way he talks about you… man… it’s something else…” You were determined not to blush, so you expertly changed the subject “What about you? Shouldn’t you be out with someone special tonight?” “ME! You’re the best I got. I’m single.” “Single!? NO!” You pulled out your mobile “Are you serious?!” He nodded and then got suspicious as you typed something into it “…Why?” “…Because, honey, do I know the girl for you…” “OH, really?! Matchmaking?” “Yes really… And you’ve already kinda met her….” If you could do a little matchmaking in Danny’s restaurant, why not? After all, it was your interaction with Danny here that had got you together. He raised an eyebrow, and took a breath “Is it the crazy one?” “Define crazy…?” You grinned, knowing both your friends had been flirting with him “Y’know the… order everything off the menu, drunk on Friday night, don’t ask me any questions, staring at me a lot, type crazy one.” “…Would you have a problem if it was…?” He chewed his lip for a moment and then smiled; “I dunno… I think I could go for a little crazy.” You laughed, and wrote her number down on a napkin; “Her name is Amanda, and she’s very dear to me. Be nice.” “What are you doing?! You have got to be kidding? I have to wait two days for you to call my number and you’re just giving yours out to Javi?!” Danny shook his head and folded his arms as he stopped at your table. He had changed out of his chefs’ whites into a black button-up shirt, his attempt to look smart for your date. It worked, in a Danny kind of way. “No…” You looked at him innocently “…I was simply doing a little matchmaking…” “Is that so…” He smiled and leant in to kiss your cheek. He turned to Javi, who stood to take his leave “When you’re ready, my good man, Jason knows how it goes…” “Alright! I’m on it!”

Danny slid into the seat that Javier had just vacated and blew out a breath; “You look… I just… Words… honestly fail me…” You smiled “Well… I just wanted to look good for you.” “For me!? Darlin’, you needn’t have you always look good. Tonight you look…” He made a motion to indicate he couldn’t find the right word. “And everyone is quite rightly staring at you…” “At you…” You leant on your hand, “…I like that…” “Oh. Really…” He reached for the bottle Javier had placed on the table and poured you a sensible glass full “Yeah. It’s about time people knew I was yours…” He chuckled, “Alright… Sweetheart… Well, you’ve clearly made one hell of a point…” He placed his hands together “…Now in advance, I apologise that I can’t stay. But I sure as hell want to make these hours count…” “Baby that’s ok…” “And when I leave, I don’t expect you to stay… It’s going to be a long night. And I’ll be here helping them out until closing. So…” He took a sip of wine, and made a face like he was pleased with his choice “…Please, feel free to leave at any time.” “No… No… That’s ok… I want to stay… I have my car… You can just come back to mine tonight…” He smirked suddenly and leant towards you; “Oh? Is that where this is heading…? A little cliché for Valentine’s Day don’t you think…?” You suddenly realised what you had said; “Danny no! I didn’t mean it like that-!” “No need to be shy about it Y/N… It’s just you and me…” His eyes flicked to the cut of your dress. You were still determined not to blush, lowering your voice to a whisper; “Stop it! You can’t talk like that! Not here!” “Why not? It’s my restaurant… My rules… No-one cares… Why, baby? Don’t you want me?”  You had to look away from his intense stare… But you bit your lip… Wondering if that was where your night might end… You ran your finger lazily around the rim of your glass whilst he took another sip of his “I didn’t say I didn’t want you…” You looked back into his eyes, pouring some sugar of your own; “I just said you can’t talk that way here…” He was right. He knew you. Every off-menu dish he’d created was something you’d talked endlessly about or a variation of something off his menu you truly loved. You realised that every time he’d seen you eat he’d studied you – to the letter. Everything went well together, and everything paired with the wine he’d selected. You were beyond flattered. He continued to flirt with you through the entire meal and you felt like the only girl in the world. Even though your aim had been quite the opposite. He was way too good to you for the man his family made him out to be. “…Oh. Yeah. Just one thing…” He shuffled around in his seat and began rummaging in his pocket it got you curious “…I… Kinda broke your rule…” You could swear your heart was about stop beating and instinctively put your hand over it in relief. You opened your mouth as he placed the box on the table, It was small, black and wrapped intricately with silver ribbon. By its size and shape that he wasn’t about to get down on one knee in the middle of his own restaurant, especially after the previous conversations you’d had here. He followed your train of thought; “Geez! Don’t die on me! Give me SOME credit! I am in NO way sickeningly cliché enough to propose to you in front of my whole restaurant... on Valentine’s Day. Besides I’d never live it down!” He was right, Javier and Jason would never let him hear the end of it. Then he laughed, like he couldn’t resist it “Maybe I’ll do it when we’re alone later!” Still, the joke didn’t ruin the way you felt and you almost had to stop yourself from crying; “Oh! Danny!” “Now it’s not much… But I wanted you to have something…” He slid the box towards you; “You can’t open it until I’m gone… though, ok?” “…You didn’t have to.” “I know. You made that clear. But I wanted to…” He smiled, and poured himself another glass. He looked around the restaurant. It was in a lull period, before the next sitting, and he was glad he’d get to sit with you for a little while longer, at least until you had finished.

When the restaurant started to get busy again, you knew he had to take his leave. “I’m sorry I can’t stay longer.” “No. No… Baby, go do your job…” He stood and rounded the table to kiss you again. It didn’t last nearly long enough; “I promise not to make you wait too long…” But you didn’t mind. You could at least watch him working. “Thank you, for coming here!” “I love coming here!” “I know but… I wish I could have taken you out…” “You’ll get the chance.” You winked “I get to see the guys too…” “True…” He smiled “…See you later. And honestly… Go… Don’t sit here on my account!”  Although, he knew you’d wait there forever if you had to. On his way back to the kitchen he was stopped by another long-term patron. You loved to see Danny laughing, but as he did so he nodded and looked across to you. You couldn’t help but smile until it hurt. This was what you wanted. You wanted them to realise what he had. The man Danny Rayburn really was. And that look of adoration on his face, that was for you… And it wasn’t the only time he was stopped...

* “How you doing? Can I get you anything else? Another drink…? Coffee?” Javier came over to clear away the plates; “Was it good?” “Incredible.” “I told you he was excited…” “I’ll uh... Take you up on coffee, Javi, that would be great. Put in a shot of Bailey’s too.” “Well, that sounds like an idea…” “Oh. And, the check.” “The check-!? Danny will NOT let you pay.” Javier looked taken aback by the very idea. “Javi, He can’t do that again. Let me.” “…Amorcita… I don’t know… Half this stuff was off menu I don’t know if I can…” “Just do your best… Please… Let me pay.” He still seemed hesitant “Look. If I drink any more… Those can go on the house, just… Let me pay. Let me pay all of you, too, with all the hard work you guys do? You deserve it.” “Okay… But this was all your idea…” “Thank you…” You handed him your card and he went off to get your coffee too. When he came back you had pulled the box closer to you; “Here you are… And your coffee… Call me if you need anything else…” “I won’t hesitate… Thank you Javi…” You scribbled out your signature and pulled delicately at the silver ribbon until it unravelled. You were curious… It wasn’t anything so cliché as chocolates or flowers by the size of the box… What would Danny break your one rule in favour of? You lifted the lid gently and had to smile, touching your hand to your chest. The fine gold chain winked in the gentle restaurant candle light as you lifted it delicately from the box, it ran smooth through your fingers as you studied it. Sitting on the end, however was the exact answer to your question. Small, plain, but with symbolism that could not be understated, was a delicate cursive initial. D, for Danny.

*

The next time the restaurant buzz died to quiet you realised how late it must be getting. As you looked up from your phone you witnessed Jason leave the kitchen. If Danny was letting his staff go, it must have been near the end of the night. Jase caught your eye and wandered over; “Y/N! Have you had a good evening.” “Letting Danny go for a couple of hours was very kind of you Jason… Yeah. I’ve had a great time… I guess it isn’t over yet!” “No, but, should be soon. The kitchen is winding down, Danny said he can take care of the dessert now. Which, for Danny is a big thing. You know he hates baking right? Says it’s all about Chemistry… but cooking… That’s about feel!” He rolled his eyes and you hated to laugh at the way he imitated Danny, but that was exactly something he would say “…Like he doesn’t know what Chemistry is. When he has you…!” He grinned, “I dunno. Anyway, if Danny can handle it, we’re almost done. He won’t keep you waiting much longer.” “How you spending the rest of your evening? You got someone special?” “Yeah, my girl’s pretty understanding. I’ll take her out properly tomorrow… But I’m sure there’s enough evening left to make something of it. Make sure you do to, when he’s finished, alright?” “I will. Now get on to your girl!” He smiled “See you soon Y/N!” He walked away, but then turned and call back down the restaurant “It looks good on you! By the way!” You realised he was talking about the necklace, and you looked down. Its length allowed it to be more visible the deeper the cut of whatever you were wearing. You guessed that was the point, people were more likely to stare at you if you were wearing something that showed your skin. So, it was best to show them that you were already taken. At least, that’s probably how Danny’s feelings went – you didn’t think he was so insecure. He just as likely wasn’t one to put up with another guy putting his eyes on you.

Your phone eventually buzzed and you couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the text; Are you at Dannys!? Maybe… 😉 Did you give me NUMBER to the waiter we had?! And If I did? C’mon. Amanda, you were so into him… I can’t believe you!! Have fun – you’re welcome! At that moment, you heard laughing and the kitchen doors swung open again to more staff leaving. Including Javi, now out of uniform, who interestingly had his phone in his hand. He waved to you, but Danny caught him; “OY! Who said anything about you leaving your tables aren’t all clear!” “What!? C’mon Danny! There’s one left!” “If all your tables aren’t done, you don’t go!” “But she’s…” Danny gave him a significant warning look, making Javi sigh and wander over to you. You nodded to his phone; “Anything I should be interested in.” He grinned “Yeah, matchmaking service… We’re heading out for drinks.” “Wow. You move fast! I thought she had a date.” “It clearly went well…” He gave a wink and then looked to the table. Every other table was neatly cleared and stacked, awaiting usage tomorrow. You were the only one left down this end of the restaurant “So, Danny won’t let me go unless my tables are clear… So… I guess I’m not drinking until you leave…” You got up slowly; “No, let me help you – don’t want you to miss a date I basically initiated…!” You smiled, content to help him carry things back to the kitchen, still chatting excitedly about his plans. Danny sighed; “She can have some of your pay check for that!” “Aw – c’mon! It’s clear now!” How many times was Danny going to threaten to take away his pay check this month?! “Yeah, alright! Off you go!” Danny turned to you; “Sit down Darlin’, at least I can watch you from here now…” He gave a wink as you sat yourself at the bar, Javi came back around and could not resist wrapping his arms around you and kissing your cheek; “Goodnight Amorcita!” Danny shook his head “…Don’t bother coming back tomorrow!” He yelled after Javi, who laughed “You don’t mean that! You love me really!” That had you and Danny laughing; “Good luck on your date! Let me know how it goes!” He waved to you “I will Y/N!” Turning back to Danny you realised the kitchen was now empty besides him. And the two tables left were finishing up their drinks and paying their tabs. Danny was essentially just clearing away; “Give me half an hour sweetheart and I’ll be done…” “What’s thirty minutes more?” You shrugged. You loved watching him work, you were a little disappointed you’d missed out. Still, watching him clear away meant you were one minute closer to having him in your arms again. *

Finally he waltzed out of his kitchen, bag over his shoulder. He didn’t come to you immediately, instead walking to the back of the restaurant, checking everything was clear and ready for tomorrow and flicking off lights as he made his way back to you. “OK… We can go…” He took your hand in his as he helped you off the bar stool and you wrapped your arm around his. He liked that. You could tell by his smile. Once outside it wasn’t as cold as you would think, even for February.  He kept your hand in his as he locked the door; “So, you like it?” You noticed him look across to the necklace, now flashing in the streetlights. “Like it? Danny… I love it…” You got the feeling now it was on, you would never take it off. “Really?” He smiled; “Good… It looks better on you… I’m almost proud of myself. Bet you’re glad I broke that rule.” “…Yeah. This once…” He pocketed his keys, and walked you to your car. You felt alright for driving, thank goodness. You hadn’t had too much to drink and you had eaten enough. You were just about to pull your keys from your bag when he stopped. You weren’t paying attention, so you were pulled back by his arm. You were about to voice your question when he looked at you; sincerely. “Dance with me.” “…What?” “I didn’t get to take you out properly… Dance with me…” You looked around; here? In the middle of the restaurant parking lot? Was he serious? “Danny, there’s no music? Without music?” He shook his head “We don’t need music. You should know that.” When you still didn’t respond he sighed, letting you go he put his bag down, and held his hand out to you, taking up what you recognised to be an awkward version of a Waltz stance. You took a breath, and smiling, you put your hand in his. He placed his other hand gently on your waist and pulled you closer to him. Placing your other hand on his shoulder you laced your fingers together, and he began to sway you. “You’re crazy… you know that?” “And yet, you’re the one dancing with me…” He smiled, as you relaxed into his arms, resting your head against his chest as he continued to rock you. Bringing your hand in, he placed it against his heart; and you quickly realised that you were dancing to the rhythm of his heartbeat. He kissed your hair, and then your forehead, brushing his cheek against yours to get just that little bit closer to you. The way he enveloped your body with his was protective; and you felt safer now than you had ever felt in anyone else’s arms. The only sound was the cars that occasionally drove passed on their way back from Valentine’s Dates of their own. You wondered how many passengers in them looked over and saw the two of you, moving in a circle under the yellow glow of the floodlit parking lot – and thought you were insane. But you couldn’t have cared less… You were lost in his motion, in the way he held you - as strong as it was delicate – his attempt to show you he would hold you forever but that he would never break you… Any part of you. And you knew that included your heart. You thought it was dangerous for him to make that promise; but you badly wanted it to be true. Your rhythm came to a gentle stop, but he continued to let you get lost in his embrace. Your fingers tangling themselves in the fabric of his shirt, telling Danny you wouldn’t let him go either… You looked up to him; and his blue eyes glowed in the wake of the lighting. He kissed your forehead, the bridge and tip of your nose and finally your lips. You wound your arms around his shoulders and let the kiss linger as long as he would allow. Full of further unspeakable promises. He broke it, finally and chuckled; “Let’s go home…”

 * “UGH!” Danny collapsed on your couch. Now changed into a grey vest top and shorts he ran his hands over his face and through his hair; “That was HELL! Never let me do something like that again!!!” He tipped his head back, making you laugh; “Well. There’s always next year.” “Oh GOD! I’ve only just gone though this year! Remind me to take the day off!” “I wouldn’t let you do that to them!” He made a sound that was painful; “God. I need a drink…” “What a great idea… I like your train of thought…” You wandered over to one of your cupboards and pulled down a bottle and two tumblers. He raised an eyebrow in curiosity; “Is that… whisky? Girl, I like the way you think.” “… I think you’ll find Woodford Reserve brands itself as Kentucky Bourbon…” You looked across to him “Is it a two or three fingers type night?” He laughed; “Three, at LEAST!” You poured him a generous two and a half, and poured nothing more than a dribble for you. A night cap. That was all you wanted. You put the bottle away and handed him the glass. You loved the way Woodford tasted. It wasn’t sweet, it had a savoury quality but by God did it have a burn, it was that that made it your favourite. You took a sip, he studied his glass and then looked back to you; “What? No ice?!” You pointed to your fridge “You have legs!” He puffed his cheeks and narrowed his eyes but he clearly wasn’t about to get up; “Cheers…!” He swirled it before taking a sip, you watched the way he rolled the liquid over his tongue before swallowing, and the breath he let out as it burned; “Oh-! That is good!” You nodded your agreement as he sat back. Now he really allowed himself to study you, he already knew what you were wearing was gorgeous. The deep-V neckline, now complete with his very own initial. The split up the side showed your beautifully tanned legs, giving him just enough but leaving him wanting so much more… it hugged your figure well too. He hadn’t forgotten your little conversation back at his restaurant… Now he was just wondering if you would act on it, or not. “You are so, damn, beautiful…” His voice was quiet, and it edged on sinful promise. You took another sip and looked back to him, then wished you hadn’t at the look on his face. The look in his eyes. Your heart began to pound in your chest. “…Don’t look at me like that…” “Baby…” He shook his head, running is fingers over his lips in a way that sent shivers over your skin; “Why not…” “Because I…” You had to look away, look to your balcony, then to your wall…To anything but his eyes – you couldn’t hold that stare. You noted how deep the breaths you were taking were… Your stomach and your heart and your HEAD were all in agreement on this one. It was Valentine’s Day, why not act on this…? Eventually your eyes had to wander back to his. He was leaning back casually on your couch, and had you locked in his intense gaze. He tapped his finger against the side of the whisky glass that he was holding casually by the rim – he was waiting on you and you knew it. He read you too well, and Danny was always hard for you to resist…

You realised that you too were tapping your glass, but for a different reason; the nerves were building up inside of you… You somehow tore your gaze away from him again. And it fell to your glass; gripping it so tight your knuckles were white… If you were going to do this, then it was your house. And your rules. Decisively you tipped the glass back to finish it and set it down. Walking over to him, slow, confident, with purpose. You would make him wait for you… brushing your hair back you gave him a look to let him know that you were going to be in control here. He ran his eyes back up you again, and by the time they reached your eyes they were dark blue. You sank yourself down onto his lap, straddling him. Locking your legs with his, your feet barely touched the floor as he was sat so far back. You ran your tongue over your lips and took his glass from him, taking one sip for yourself you placed it on the table beside you. He gave an almost defiant whine; you pulled him to you by his top; “My house… My rules…” He seemed to agree with this as you pulled him into a kiss; tasting like whisky that lingered on his tongue he ran his hands up your smooth thighs, hitching your dress just a little higher as you wound your arms around his shoulders to deepen the kiss…. You were now locked in a completely different form of dance…. He hummed gently in approval at the way you ground your hips into his. Continuing to run his fingers over every inch of skin he could get his hands on; he kept his voice low, almost a whisper as he kissed your neck; "You know, now would be a perfect time to start a playlist..." You almost laughed, digging your nails gently into his biceps; and catching his lips with your again; "That would just make it something else..." He squinted slightly; "Darlin'... We've always been about something else..." He ran his hands through your hair, kissing your beautifully tanned skin over and over "...That is why we work so well..." You accepted his kisses with kisses of your own, but he certainly wasn't affording you breathing space; and soon he had you breathless again. Not only that, but he had the situation back under his control. Kissing you wherever he wanted, he offered resistance and held you back from kissing him - that made you whine in discontent - which is exactly what he was looking for; by the smirk on his face. "...That's it baby girl..." His voice, seductive, was back to giving you that shiver; only this time it ran through him too... So he let you kiss him... running his hands back down your body they lingered for a second at the ties on your dress, before he thought better of it. You felt him shift under you, and then he swept you up. You gasped, leaving his lips and gripping his shoulders tight. He cleared his throat, as he began to walk you towards your bedroom; "Mmmh.... There isn't nearly enough room here to do everything I want to do to you tonight..." He let his husky whisper linger for a moment, with a sinful wink. Trouble was, whatever that promise was... You couldn't wait.

** You woke up without him, and you weren’t sure you liked that. Looking around for any signs of where he might be you were disappointed not to find any. Surely, he wouldn’t have gone off to work already? Considering how late it was last night!? And if he did, wouldn’t he have left a note? You hopped out of bed, pulling on a shirt and shorts of your own and wandered out into the corridor. You almost breathed a sigh of relief when you heard sounds emanating from your kitchen and echoing down to your bedroom. Guess it was finally time you took him up on breakfast… You shuffled down the hall and stood watching him for a minute. He was adsorbed in everything he was doing, moving from one thing to another – he hummed to himself. “Mornin’…” “Good morning Sunshine…” He turned to smile at you “…How are you?” You suppressed a yawn; “Good. Yeah… You’re making me breakfast?!” “Figured that you couldn’t say no to this…” He teased… but then made a face “Actually, I’m trying to make you breakfast… uh, note to Y/N… Please actually stock ingredients!” “Uh, note to Danny, you don’t live here. I will have in this house what I damn well like!” He shook his head “You’re lucky I can make what I’m making! Nothing in your cupboards constitutes a balanced meal, I’m shocked you’re still alive!” “…Well I usually spend all my time at work! When do I get the chance to eat here? Let alone cook.” “That’s no good for you either. And you have an extremely sweet tooth, I’m worried.” You shrugged “It doesn’t bother me!” “No clearly…” he opened another cupboard and lamented “…C’mon… You’re killing me here!” “Well, I didn’t ever expect my boyfriend to be a chef..!” “Well, your boyfriend thinks he needs to take you grocery shopping…” You leant on your counter with a smile; “So… Do it!” He turned to you “…OK… I will… If it gets you eating better, I will.” You shook your head at him, until he pointed to the breakfast bar; “Now sit! I’ll be done in a minute.” “Don’t you want me to help?” “No, Darlin’, this is for you. Sit.” He insisted. Finally you understood what Danny meant as he set everything out for you. Everything was simple, and most of it was leaning towards the sweet side of breakfast. You stared at the pancakes for a minute; “Are there sprinkles in the pancakes?” “Yeaaaah...” You scoffed; “Alright, international house of pancakes...” He narrowed his eyes at you and tapped you with his fork “I’m just trying to make things interesting! And with your limited amount of ingredients I worked with what I had...!” You pointed to the sauce “Syrup?” He looked like he was about to give up on you entirely “... Caramel. Easy to make butter, cream, sugar. Surprised you had those to be honest.” “Ah. You’re being very resourceful...” You clearly weren’t awake yet, pointing out to yourself that there was actually already a syrup bottle on the table. “God, please let me take you shopping...” “What today?” He hummed tilting his head one way and then the other “if that’s what you wanna do, Darlin’...” “I kinda don’t wanna do anything… But… I feel like you’re only gonna complain at me if we don’t…” He didn’t quite nod his agreement, but he took your hand in his and rested it on your knee “…If we do… Then at least I can cook for you more often.” “Are you really THAT worried?” “Yeah. I really am.” And you had to smile, because not only was he being sweet – he was also being serious.

What Danny really admired about you was the way you ate. As a chef that was important to him, and it was important you liked what he made you. But the way you thought about every bite you took impressed him. He couldn’t help but love you more as he watched you eat; “What?” “…You… You just… Amaze me, sometimes…” But he pointed to your plate with his fork “Just, less sugar. Next time. Please?” You got this innocent but defiant look on your face as you tilted your head “…Well, I can’t get ALL my sugar from you…” He laughed, and then leant towards you to brush sugar from your lips with his own. It was a good move, and was rewarded by you pulling his shirt to bring his body closer to yours. He deepened his kiss and all that did was threaten for you to take it back to the bedroom. You pulled away, savouring the taste of his lips on yours for just a moment longer; “Hmmm…” He agreed satisfied “I guess you’re right.”

 *** Later that morning you found yourself on a short road-trip; because he was serious about taking you grocery shopping and apparently no other day would do. But now he was driving you, humming along to the radio. It was another nice day, and he had the windows down and his shades on. He looked hot, you had to admit, he was just something else and you were damn proud that he was sitting here beside you. You couldn’t resist texting Amanda, knowing you wanted all the gossip from her night with Javier. It wasn’t like they didn’t ask for every excruciating detail of every date Danny ever took you on. You always remained mysterious about it; Danny showed too much of himself to you and all of it was for you to keep. Not to tell anyone else. Did you wake up with a 10? I didn’t wake up with anybody Amanda! I’m shocked! What happened!? I’m taking it slow. How’s your 10? Well, he’s at least a 12. But yeah, I woke up with him 😉 Ugh. You are beyond lucky. I know. I knnnnow x You were laughing, which got Danny curious. “What?” he nudged your arm when you shook your head “What’s so funny!?” “Nothin’! I’m just…” you waved your hands “Complimenting my awesome boyfriend.” “OH!” He smirked; “IS he now!?” “Well he better damn well think he is too.” “He, uh, I guess he thinks he could be. I mean… He has you.” He let you take his hand in yours; “Well… He takes good care of me… Which is what matters. As he’s proving right now.” “Yeah well. Someone’s gotta do it!” He laughed “Of course I’m happy to do it…!” “Well anything to stop him complaining.” You could tell he was rolling his eyes behind his shades; “Eh….!! I’m not sure he’ll ever do that.” “Shame…” You shook your head “I love him anyway…” “He wants you to know…” he laced your fingers together and looked across to you “He loves you too.”

* You were both tangled up together on your balcony in the late afternoon sun, having the best of lazy days. Your head against his chest as he stroked his hand absentmindedly through your hair… You knew you could stay like this forever… Hell, maybe after your next move you would get that wish. “Danny…” “Hmm?” He blew out smoke in answer, taking another drag of his cigarette as you shuffled around, producing a box tied up in blue ribbon. “I’m actually kinda glad you broke your promise, Because… Now I get to give you this…” He shook his head, “You didn’t have to get ME anything…” Although his eyes flicked to the necklace you were still wearing proudly… He rested his cigarette in the ash tray and took the box from you, “Are you sure?” “Yes!” “…Seriously you didn’t have to.” “I wanted to, too. Anyway, this one is important…” He looked to the box, pulling the blue ribbon slowly he met your eyes again. Would this be as important to you as that necklace was to him? he wondered. You sighed; “Danny! Just open the damn thing the suspense is killing me!” He gave it his full attention as he lifted the lid gently. Then looked a little confused as he was presented with a set of keys; “Are these… The keys to your apartment…?” He lifted them from the box and studied them with careful interest. “…You’re giving me the keys to your apartment?” “No…” You were careful with your choice of words, “Well. No, yeah that’s what they are, but that’s not what I’m asking.” He turned his attention to you out of curiosity… You took a deep breath. Only your parents had keys to this apartment besides you. But, you’d already made up your mind on this one. Danny wasn’t just someone you were seeing, he was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. And it wasn’t Valentine’s Day, or whisky or heck even sugar talking. This was pure and simple; it was the way you felt and you had to let him know it. You looked at him with nothing but adoration; “Danny… I’m asking, please, and in the most real… honest, wholehearted way I can… For you to move in with me.”

@stcphstrange - Protect this one with your life! It’s been through a lot!!