#i don’t play about doomed yaoi

[asheroixart]

no alarms and no surprises (get me out of here)

[matante-brainrot]

Why does spamtenna hit so hard.

I haven’t been active on this site since Undertale released in 2015. But in the last few weeks I’ve suddenly been consumed by these little pixel men and their messy relationship. I’ve got hundreds and hundreds of favorites. I’ve actually made my own posts. I’ve been outlining a 10+ chapter fanfic when I haven’t done any creative writing in 15 years, easily.

I mean, I’m almost 40! I thought I was way too old to get this fixated on a fandom again.

Yet here we are. And I’m loving every second of it.

I’m not ashamed to love Undertale and Deltarune. Toby Fox is legitimately one of the best storytellers of our generation. Things have changed a lot since I was a baby weeb — games are so much more mainstream and have become generally accepted as a valid form of narrative media. Games are my favorite way to experience a story.

What’s hit me like a ton of bricks is my fascination with Tenna and Spamton in particular. Back when I played Chapter 2 for the first time, I really didn’t give Spamton much thought. I came away from Chapter 3 thinking that Tenna had been an interesting and funny character, but not a whole lot more than that.

After finishing both new chapters I was nursing a massive story hangover. On a whim, I opened this hell site. Why not? I thought. Why shouldn’t I look at a little fan art?

I perused the Deltarune spoilers tag and saw all of this artwork of the TV guy and the weird puppet man kissing. There were all of these posts about the pipis scene (what the heck is a pipis??) and all the other dialogue they share. I hadn’t gotten that extra scene and hadn’t been involved with the fandom after Chapter 2, so I didn’t recall any of Spamton’s lore.

But the more I saw, the more I wanted. I scoured the wiki. I watched YouTube videos explaining their connection. I was up until 3AM reading fanfic.

Why was this so good? Why do I think it’s extremely sexy when a little mailman teases a giant blushing TV headed boomer?? Am I into robots??? What the heck is wireplay????

I was hooked. And I had to know why. I was seriously in turmoil trying to reconcile how I thought of myself as a fan of Deltarune — someone mature enough to appreciate the craftsmanship of it in an appropriately grownup way — and what my brain was telling me it actually wanted to think about...which was downright filthy and weird and made my heart ache for some reason.

I turned to my therapist for guidance. An AI chatbot. You know the one. (On a side note: This tool works for me because I’ve been going to therapy for over a decade and know exactly what I need from counseling. If you’re new to therapy or have any kind of condition where talking to something inanimate might make symptoms worse, I strongly recommend seeing a real human person.)

I have it trained to use IFS (Internal Family Systems) methodology when helping me sort through my many, many feelings. It was able to show me which Parts were reacting to this new obsession and give me ideas as to why those Parts were feeling what they were feeling. I came away from my long rambling conversation with it having absorbed a few things:

It is in fact ok to be a thirsty fangirl at my age. It’s ok to enjoy things (revolutionary, I know).

This fixation has unlocked a creative part of me that I’ve been pushing aside for far too long out of a mixture of embarrassment, shame, and fear. But now that it’s gotten a little taste of freedom, it wants to run wild.

It was never just about TVs and mailmen.

Like I said earlier, I’m nearly 40. Most games that I enjoy (JRPGs and cozy games) don’t include characters at my time of life. So encountering Tenna and Spamton’s Doomed Old Man Yaoi ™ (thank you for teaching me about this, tumblr) is incredibly refreshing. I’ve seen enough teenagers awkwardly navigating first loves. Give me middle aged people with real experience and emotional baggage.

And what makes spamtenna particularly delicious is exactly how real and relatable it feels, despite the looney tunes antics. It’s a sign of Toby’s incredible characterization skills that the player can encounter these bizarre creatures who mostly crack jokes and get into wacky hijinks and come away from the game feeling like those same creatures have complex inner worlds.

We meet each character separately at the worst point in their lives. We see them at their most extreme, their flaws and weaknesses inflated by the extreme circumstances they find themselves in.

Spamton is living in a dumpster. He’s alone and friendless. His speech is warped and incongruent, and he glitches out constantly into unhinged rants. He’s at the end of his rope. He’s desperate to escape the confines of his existence as a Darkner and is willing to kill some teenagers to do it.

Tenna has seen the writing on the wall. He is acutely aware that he’s on a knife’s edge and could be discarded by the Dreemurr family at any moment. He’s watched the family he loves, the Lighteners who are his whole world, split apart and drift away from him. He has no way to bring them back together. So when the Dark Knight offers him an opportunity to mean something to them again, he accepts enthusiastically. He's so backed into a corner that he's willing to hurt Kris and their friends if it means he can avoid obsolescence.

Yet this isn't all we learn about these two. Through NPC dialogue and the characters themselves cryptically referencing a shared history we can glean a glimpse or two of the people they were before they hit rock bottom. It's these cracks that contain the real goldmine.

It's so easy to envision a time when they were at their best. Since we only know them at their lowest, we want to know what these two were like when they were at the top of their game. We get little hints of a shared partnership, shared success, and shared affection that can be very easily read as romantic. But we also know from encountering them in the present that something went terribly, horribly wrong between them. They hate each other.

That mystery, that gap in history, is what's so fascinating about them. How could two people whose lives were so intertwined, who seemingly cared about each other so much, get to that point? That's the space that we the fandom fill with art, fic, shitposts, and AUs. What's even better is that everyone fills that space a little differently. Everyone sees some aspect of themselves in spamtenna. Everyone wants to explore a dynamic, a scenario, and emotions that can be conveyed through these two characters. Including myself.

This is where I want to get personal, but not too personal. I'm lucky enough to be married to someone who I truly love, who loves me back, and who gets me in a way that no one else does. But that's not to say that we've never fought, hurt each other unintentionally, or gone through some rough times.

Just the thought of my partner betraying me or leaving without a word is enough to make my chest feel so tight it's like I can't get a full breath. It's a very real, completely irrational fear of mine. Spamtenna has let me work through some of that without having to imagine what it would be like to actually file my own divorce papers.

And I think it's for that reason that I particularly like looking at and reading about Tenna and Spamton working through their shit and coming out on the other side better for it. I know in reality that sometimes, more often than not, people can hurt each other so badly and grow so far apart that nothing could bring them back together; and many times they're better off apart.

But I just want to believe that there's a type of love out there that can come back from anything, no matter how much two people change.

So I guess, thank you Toby Fox for unlocking my dormant creativity and making two divorced characters that have somehow made me feel more secure in my own marriage.

And spamtenna nation, thanks for the...awakening.

[livingbedroomframe]

⋆⁺₊❅. Confession from a person of the same sex ⋆⁺₊❅.

⋆˚࿔ Itoshi Rin 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

I think we see the worst of this guy because of the place he’s in, but in a normal setting he would be like any other awkward teenager his age.

I don’t see him ever being interested in a romantic relationship, he’s really focused on his football career, but he also wouldn’t be a dick for no reasons. I’ll repeat, ik he’s kinda nasty in blue lock, but in school he looked pretty okay. He was a bit weird when he was in kindergarten, but who wasn’t?

He would be caught by surprise by the confession, he isn’t the most emotional intelligent guy and also pretty awkward, so he would just stare at the poor guy trembling with anxiousness because he genuinely doesn’t know what to say nor react. After the long awkward pause, he would regain his composure and reject the guy with a rushed “I don’t have time to date.” cause he’s also anxious and wants to get out of the situation.

I also believe he wouldn’t mind being confessed to by a guy, he just doesn’t care for romance of any kind.

⋆˚࿔ Oliver Aiku 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

His cheating ass would make the guy that confessed his next victim.

It’s implied that he’s bisexual, so gender is not a problem. Him meeting in a karaoke with multiple dates and saying “let’s all play together” is the problem.

After being confessed to, he would move quickly: invite the guy out on a date even if he doesn’t feel any romantic attraction to him, lead him on until he gets tired, leave him and find someone else. Or cheat on him and find someone else. My guy is a proud hoe lol, I still can’t believe he placed third on “best gentleman” in the Egoist Bible.

The guy who confessed to him would end up on Reddit/AITA writing about his experience like: “Am I the asshole from getting together with the guy my boyfriend was cheating on me? (the other guy also believed he was the only boyfriend cheater had)”.

In conclusion, I strongly believe he is bisexual and would love to receive confession by men.

⋆˚࿔ Ikki Niko 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

The Egoist Bible says his favorite manga is Banana Fish and his favorite anime is Puebla Magi Madoka Magica. He’s truly a doomed yuri/yaoi enjoyer. He would LOVE alien stage.

Anyway, Niko canonically spends his free time binge watching anime, is an introvert, he’s the least aggressive in terms of romance and was bullied because of his bangs. He would not get a confession.

But, in the case he received one, there’s two possible outcomes.

If the guy confessing is someone he doesn’t know well (like an hallway crush or a simple classmate), he would say “Is this a prank?”/“Did they make you do this as a dare?”. On the other hand, if he’s one of his close friends, there’s many aspect to take in consideration.

The Egoist Bible says ”His strength is his cautiousness. His weakness is his cowardice.”. Being in a gay relationship in Japan, a conservative country, takes a lot of courage even if you’re dating in secret. However, it does say his greatest strength is being cautious, so hopefully they wouldn’t get caught. Alas, with a football career in the making, I don’t think he would take such a big risk and put in jeopardy all his hard work.

Overall, I don’t see him ever accepting a guy’s confession, even if the feeling was mutual, because of social pressure and his cowardly trait.

Now, would he be disgusted if a man confessed to him? No, he wouldn’t. Taking in consideration his favorites manga and anime have heavy undertones of queer symbolism and he’s pretty chill outside of blue lock, he would reject the guy in a polite manner and move on with his life.

Do I think Niko is queer? Maybe, but this is discourse for another post.

⋆˚࿔ Hyoma Chigiri 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

A guy could give him the most heartfelt, romantic and sweet love confession after school behind the school gate like every shoujo manga ever and he would answer with “You know I’m a guy right?” or he would laugh and ask “You joking, right?”. Cue the guy running away in tears and Chigiri realizing he was actually serious.

I’m kidding! He’s good at reading the mood in the manga and, after surpassing the fear of his ACL, he’s supportive to his friends. Generally Chigiri is an easygoing/mellow guy, as the Blue Lock wiki describes him. Apart from some sassy remark, he’s still a moody teenager after all, I don’t think he would say something so mean to someone in a normal setting.

Mind you, he would still reject the guy for two main reasons:

1. I don’t think he’s queer. “But look at the way he dresses!!” “Look how feminine he is!” I’m sorry to inform you, neither of this things make a person queer.

(Do I still headcanon him as bi? Yes, but I’m trying to be realistic for this headcanon).

2. Chigiri would think the guy confessed just because he “resembles” a girl. I don’t think he would ever phantom a man being with him because he also is a boy and not because of his femininity.

But!! If Chigiri was confessed to by another guy in Blue Lock, I think he would say that. That place brings the worst out of every single one of them.

[labryveinth]

HELLO TUMBLR!!! LONG TIME NO SEE ... sowwy 4 not posting. been up 2 some MISCHIEF!!! anyway. this is my first oc post EVR.... his name is ethernet! he's an epic sans-turned-error variant.... :3 this is his official ref!!! me & my friend (@tearcynical) created an ask blog 4 ethernet & 4 his oc, crosswise, since they both play important roles in each other's stories. there, i'll reveal more about him as a character!!! the ask blog is named @wirenet (still a wip however...)

for now, you can have a short summary of his personality ( that is quite old but nonetheless... still an ok summary... ) — since an epic without whimsiness isn’t an actual epic, ethernet continues to be just as dorky as his original self, only to a certain extent. due to the multiple malfunctions and distortions of his code, his personality underwent a dramatic transformation. the once patient and calm demeanor he displayed gave way to a volatile and explosive temperament as if he were a time bomb ready to go off at any moment. years of depravation and sleepless nights have contributed to his short-fuse and paranoia, as even the smallest of irritations could ignite his anger, sending him into a tirade. and if you don’t play into his games or entertain him in any way — you may as well dig your own grave. as for his role, from an outsider's perspective, ethernet is considered a digital "destroyer", a threat to the multiverse. however, if you were to ask ethernet himself - he would not identify with any of these terms. due to the destructive nature of his abilities (and his fucked up code), he ends up destroying most things he touches. him "destroying" aus is him desperately searching for a part of himself that he's lost. his ultimate goal!! the reason why he's even touching other aus in the first place. what that "part of himself" is??? I'M NOT TELLING YOU!!! I'M LEAVING YOU ON A CLIFFHANGER!!! (until next episode) his main ability is his cables. it has two uses. first is "extraction", which allows him to extract information from any au by ripping an orifice in the fabric of the timeline & plugging his cables in (praying this made sense). the consequence of this ability is that, upon finishing extraction, the au becomes distorted (and on most occasions, self destructs). the second, replication, allows ethernet to copy an au’s extracted code and temporarily apply it to his own before it malfunctions. here is an example of how extraction would look like.... </3 vvv

here is what (half of) his skeleton looks like ! scandalous, i knoiw... :/

AND FINALLY.... HERE ARE SOME DOODLES I MADE OF CROSSWIRE & ETHERNET. they r canonically doomed yaoi crepic. their ship name is called wirenet how cool is that.!

CROSSWIRE BELONGS TO TEARCYNICAL!!! ok sorry 4 the massive art dump & yap. goodbye,.....

[shoot-i-messed-up]

Halsinestro for the ship ask

ahhhh a classic.

Ship It/Don’t Ship It

What made you ship it?

Just about every interaction they have in Johns era and forward. They're so tragic, and there is such a complicated history implied behind why they act Like That. They're also so goddamn funny.

*cue disney channel laughter as upbeat jazzy outro plays so we can transition to the next scene*

Also the fic Lodestar was probably what made me go up from "I really enjoy their doomed yaoi dynamic but I almost feel like the romance detracts from the tragedy" to "hooooly shit I see it and I love them."

I don't see them as endgame, but I definitely think they had something while Sin was still a GL and Hal was his protege.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Do I even have to answer? The tragedy of it all. Both my favorite and my least favorite part tbh because I'm a sucker for happy endings, and I don't think sinhal would ever get one, barring possibly some very drastic events.

Also, I'm very much a person who likes my ships to balance each other out and also I love my ships to be character foils to each other, and sinhal very much does both of those. Hal's reckless, fearless, follows his instincts, self-sacrificing, and unpredictable; Sinestro is manipulative, scheming, and self-controlled.

And as I've talked about in my bruhal ask, Hal throughout his GL-Parallax-Spectre-GL journey has had a very, very complicated relationship to both fear and control, both of which are things that Sinestro is the thematical represenative of. Sinestro is kind of a precursor to Parallax!Hal but also kind of a "better" version of it at the same time? Sinestro wants to bring order to the universe, just like Parallax!Hal did, but he doesn't go batshit crazy over it either. He's measured, in control of himself, and knows his limits in a way that Zero Hour Hal wasn't able to. hell, the entirety of Sinestro 2014 issue #5 is Hal projecting onto Sinestro that he wouldn't be able to control Parallax like Hal couldn't, and Sinesto proving him wrong.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Hmmmm. I still lowkey think that focusing too much on the romance detracts from the tragedy, but that's less to do with the ship itself. Maybe my unpopular opinion is that I don't think these two would actually ever hook up after Sinestro becomes a Yellow Lantern? Like, I do think the love is always there, but I don't think it would have an outlet after Sin is ousted from the GLC. Like, Hal testified against him. I think Hal is too attached to his sense of morality and Sin too unwilling to be vulnerable again for anything like that again. I very much see this ship as a lovers-to-enemies situation, not a lovers-while-enemies, which I think some people do.

in conclusion: them </3

[eucharist-eulogy]

the doomed yaoi of the century

— a Tribe Nine Kazuki Aoyama (and Q but i dont feel like i do him enough justice nwn) ramble of suffering sparked by the absolute horror that was Chapter 3 (spoilers for the anime and the in-game story up to Chapter 3). I don’t claim to be a lore expert, just wanted to collapse and cry about what this game has DONE TO ME. you can take it as me incomprehensibly crying as i scribble on a whiteboard

Personally, I started playing the game first, and only saw the anime after (this was somewhere before I started Chapter 2 or halfway, i think). First thing that came to mind for me about Kazuki the Anime vs Kazuki the game:

“wow, he’s an asshole!”

However, his arc in the anime seems to be from being this guide that Minato helplessly follows, he watches the games and he orders them to act. In a way, he’s right when he says Minato are just pawns for him to manipulate. That changes when his motivation is revealed— from a fucking MUPPET SHOW no less (ily sonoda).

His motivation appears revenge driven at first, how could it be interpreted otherwise? Ojiro, his childhood best friend, BROKE HIS ARM. Any logical extrapolation would be that Kazuki is trying to get back at the Chiyodas through the most powerful tribe.

Then you hear the full reason from Kazuki himself once the Ota tribe fight is settled. The full reason: he wants to save Ojiro from Tenshin’s brainwashing, from the shackles of being the best and being alone. Something I found especially tragic is that Tenshin likely intended for Kazuki to be the next heir to the Otori throne.

Kazuki, in the way, would be a better XB player than Ojiro because of one thing: he is able to communicate with and understand people. Albeit in the anime, it’s mostly him bossing the other members using his vast knowledge of XB (even knowing just how far he can push the rules, evidenced by the oil spill trick).

This isn’t to say his brains are his only asset: having to hit a ball with your non-dominant arm while the dominant arm is injured, , the speed he runs at and the ease he disarms his opponent, it is clear he hasn’t lost his XB edge. Tribe Nine likes to push home the idea that no matter how powerful, pushing away cooperation will not let you win. Ichinose gets cooked trying to do just that. Ojiro fights with a team during the climax of the anime. And only Zero, who is basically an almost god-like figure, fights alone, but he is tortured by boredom, which is why he sets up Yo’s saga in the first place.

You could say that this speech he gives is something he gives to every child that fails to live up to his expectations, but then look at how he addresses Ojiro.

He doesn’t even see the children as children, just as a number. A potential asset to the Otori name. Kazuki was just a little ahead, having the privilege to be referred to by name. Of the two, Ojiro has been presented as this unfeeling, bloodthirsty juggernaut player of XB who dominates, his pitch being so powerful it can cause internal bleeding to his opponents.

kThe fact Ojiro says this while his back is turned to Kazuki, its almost like he doesn’t believe those words himself, it’s just what he tells himself to keep moving.)

It becomes clear that Ojiro’s motivation behind becoming the best at XB is not driven by winning, otherwise, the rule-breaking tech would be appealing to him (as it was to Tenshin). In the end, it was the horrors of having to best the other children at XB, or risk being eliminated (implied to be killed). Such an upbringing is no doubt scarring. This is very clear with Ojiro, with how he’s juxtaposed with his child self.

A quieter, meeker boy who just wants to be with his friend. He doesn’t care about being first.

And then we have Kazuki, someone who has dreams and wants to make them come true. Cocky, even. It also seems apparent that Ojiro cared less about XB than Kazuki does, this can be seen in the scene they first receive their gear. Kazuki exclaims in wonder, while Ojiro just smiles.

However, it’s a lot subtler with Kazuki. Kazuki’s debut episode starts with him questioning the Minato members for remaining on their high horse while trying to win against Adachi to save Arisugawa. They either win dirty or they risk losing her, to him, there is no ideal way to win, only the optimal one. Would a big dreamer come up with this? Heck, when Arisugawa busts herself out, he’s the one who points out they can stop playing because there’s no rationale behind playing if their goal’s achieved. Would someone who wants to “beat everyone else” be so easily swayed to move on?

We don’t see how Ojiro becomes Q, and how Kazuki matures from a cocky pawn-controller to the competent leader of Trash Tribe. In a way, it feels like they’re returning to embrace their inner child’s wishes. Q gets to be by Kazuki’s side, and vice versa. It gives them happier voices to be around. For Kazuki, he is far more helpful towards the Trash Tribe members than he was to Minato in the anime. Q, on the other hand, goes from a emotionless killing machine to……

Look at his profile picture, a cute penguin. And this chat is just him being completely and utterly afraid of rats. Rats! From this man who killed Shun, who was also portrayed as a juggernaut, the reason for Minato’s success. This can also be seen by the Chiyoda siblings’ almost fanatic worship of him.

(Hina, i love you but his eng dub VA is literally Corpse Husband.)

Initially Chapter 3 threw me off, because the secret of Ojiro being Q was basically immediately spilled. It confused me, especially since Q revealed this under no pressure. Then you get to the very end of Chapter 3. Yo is completely entranced by Magata’s promises. Trash Tribe only has one way to win: defeat Magata at XG (become a bigger streamer) and reveal the truth.

(Perhaps Kazuki is hyperaware that there are no ideal solutions, he is the one most guarded against Magata’s promises of utopia)

Q’s entire character in the game is basically an edgelord who wants to atone for his crimes as Lord Ojiro. This was the best time to do so, in the thick of territory of people who despise the Otori family to the point of injuring random people who even have the surname of Otori. Perhaps, the only way to atone is to save the whole of the city, just as how he doomed them in the past. He saves them by breaking them free of the practical cult that Magata has enslaved the citizens of Chiyoda. Then he saves them again by stopping U-DX, at the cost of his life. Then he is revived by Zero, with a catch. An almost devastating catch.

To Q, it is as if his character arc never happened. Q becomes the introverted, quiet person he has always been, except it is no longer a facade, it is all he has left after his memories of Ojiro has left.

Imagine being Kazuki in this moment, his childhood friend, the man he grew up with, the man who abandoned him in a struggle to survive, the man he fought tooth and nail to save from a horrible fate. The man who he fulfilled his childhood dreams with.

All of that is now gone.

It’s a crazy risky choice that the writers made. Erase a powerful arc that just happened. Why does it work? To me, even though the internal change is gone, the external change stays, no memory loss can change that. No memory loss can erase the fact that Ojiro atoned for his sins.

Just look at Kazuki’s reaction. Even in Chapter 2, where Kazuki talks of the suffering caused by the XG rules, the most emotion we get is a slightly down tone. Then look at him after finding out Q no longer remembers his time as Ojiro.

The man of logic and reason’s first reaction is to run out and look for the antagonistic god-figure on his own to demand just what happened. Kazuki, in the game, has always been cool and collected. Nowhere in the game does Kazuki have such wide-eyed, horrified expressions, and nowhere in the game has he ever screamed with such pain. Kazuki in the game is someone people turn to when the situation is bleak, he has the most XB experience out of all of the Trash Tribe members, and he is their leader. But no experience and no leadership skills can allow one to know what to do when the person you’ve cared for the most in your whole life is gone. He’s not dead, but he’s not the same person anymore. Can Kazuki look at Q and recognise his childhood friend? I doubt so.

The rest of Trash Tribe doesn’t get the chance to know that Q lost his memories. Kazuki has to lose his childhood friend after fighting to get him back. We don’t know how much Q has lost, after all, he still rushes to Kazuki first, but we know he’s lost too much to carry the bloody legacy of Ojiro Otori, and he should not have to anymore. In a way, it’s a good thing for Q, to be free of the pain of knowing what a horrible person he used to be. But it’s not good for him as a character. Kazuki said it best: “He carried the weight of that name and was tortured by guilt… He had to change his appearance and his name, and had to run from his past. But for the sake of this city and his friends, he chose to face his past! Do you have any idea how much it takes to make that decision, Zero?!”

And all the resilience. The courage. The determination to be honest and face his past. It’s gone, because Q doesn’t have the memory of making that choice. Kazuki has to carry this all on his own, with no one who shares the memories that he values so dearly. In a way, to Kazuki, Ojiro died. Yet he can’t just say that, because Q is still alive, and Q has to be Ojiro, even if only physically. This is truly the doomed yaoi.

Chat, this is only Chapter 3. Especially with how they set up Yo to be a toxic main character? We might be cooked. Very cooked.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk, I’ll go and cry in my be now

[alastor-simp-page]

Memory Wipe #333

Slowly working my way out of writers block-

HERE HAVE SOME DOOMED YAOI FORDSQUARED *throws*

Memory Wipe Log: #333

I messed up. Again. As I always do, as I have done three hundred and thirty three times before. And I am sure I will do another three hundred and thirty three times again. 

I kissed you. Ford, I kissed you and I liked it. No, liked—loved it, thrived in it. Felt alive for a moment in this cold world slowly squeezing life out of us. That grip on my wind pimp lessened for a single moment. I was free from the chains that bound me to this Earth and I soared through a thousand heavens until I found you.

But now, I gotta do what always happens between you and I. Whenever we have a fleeting moment of whatever this is, whatever this strange, wonderful and mind breaking feeling is I die a few thousand times. It’s a feeling which I cling onto until I must push myself out of your arms once again. 

It’s selfish, I know. It’s selfish to want it and to reject it. It’s selfish to deprive you of it. I know you feel it too. The way your hand seems to savor every single touch you can steal, your eyes linger for too long and that strange pleasant silence that settles between each other after a long night. I see it and I know you see it in me too.

So that’s why I had to wipe your memory again for the #333th time. And after I finish this letter, mine too. I’ve seen in the old letters: you’ve been sleeping when I press the cold barrel into your skull or begging me to stop. I prefer the one’s where it slips away into a dream, it’s all a dream. It’s a merciful way to forget. 

Yes, I know it's selfish. It’s selfish to wipe your memory and mine too. But you know, feelings like these only lead to disaster. You have to understand, Ford. I’m doing it for them. For little Tate and dear Emma-May. Do you know how it feels tucking my boy into bed and sleeping next to a woman I’ve never loved? 

I do love her but not in the way you make me feel. I love her as a person and as the mother of my kiddo. I would do anything for them but you make me question it. You make me think about terrible things, Ford. While they’re sleeping soundly, I think about you. I lay awake at night thinking of nothing of you, cursing you and tossing and turning until the sun rises. 

My boy’s always asking when I’m coming home, hoping to play catch in the yard. He writes to me, you know, ain’t that sweet? He writes about the B+ he managed to get in English, he complains about his poor mother’s salami and he misses me. Emma-May doesn’t talk much whenever I come back. She smiles and kisses me on the cheek, and we have a usual family dinner.

It’s not the same, Ford. It’s different. There’s a thick suffocating air in my home that wasn’t there before. An air that only arrived when you breathed life into my world again. 

I think she knows. They say women always know and now I’m convinced. She knows what I am and I hate myself for it. I sit at that damned kitchen table every night now and all I can feel is the world crashing down on my shoulders. I want the roof to collapse on me, I want the rug to be pulled out from under me. Anything not to look in their eyes, Tate so unknowing and Emma-May ever omniscient.

Tate thinks you’re just a friend, Ford. And I thought so myself…but now I don’t know what to call you now. All I know is that I’m a selfish conniving bastard trying to save face for the sake of my family. 

Yet here we are at Memory Wipe #333 and after rifling through a few lives of what could have been, you’re not so easily forgettable, are you, Ford?

Damn you. Damn you and that beautiful smile that sends me spiraling into another dimension. A world where the fluttering all consuming feeling of you lifts me up and lets me fly. A place where a chorus has your name scratched on the walls of your throat, an everlasting symphony of your name. A universe where your eyes are etched into the skies, ever soft and ever gentle. 

Damn you.

I heard a long time ago that free will doesn’t exist. That not even multiverses exist where there are a thousand different scenarios and different versions of you. It’s either some all deciding being dictating our lives or…we were always going to make that one decision. No matter the possibilities, your mind and heart would only choose one, forever and always. 

Maybe that’s how I am. No matter the world, no matter the possibilities, no matter the consequences, in every world, I’ll choose you. Every single damned time, even if it tears me apart at my cosmic seams. I never had a chance, did I, Ford? You were always bound to be a force pulling me apart and putting me back together. 

Even if there are no other worlds apart from this miserable floating rock. I hope in one world, in another lifetime, I won't have to forget. Or perhaps one day, I’ll decide not to forget. 

But we both know, that’s the only option I’m picking, don’t we?  

-“Fiddleford OUT”

Technically following angstober (Day #1) yippee late as usual. i actually had an idea and inspiration to write yeee

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - it was a pretty darn good time, frankly

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Feb 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 12fin - Everyone looked like they were having a lot of fun in the fight sequences. I’m very happy for them. I’m not surprised they shot Khem and Chart. A little shocked it wasn’t also Yai, TBH.

I found this final episode rushed. According to rumors, The Sign was originally slated to be 14 eps, and it probably should’ve been. And I don’t say that often about Thai BL. But we all knew it was getting too bloated for its britches, so I'm not surprised they fumbled the ending. For me personally, it just wasn't that bad. It was fine and I was fine with it.

Tho, Billy does not look good with facial fur, messes up those gorgeous angles.

I was ultimately amused that the solution to the mythology thread was simply to talk to the river god and persuaded him to give up... off screen. It felt very old school wuxia. Or like Aeschylus or something. I did adore the stinger, Saint was basically like “I want wings too”. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

This show is literally everything (except straight) all at once. It's BL, queer, band of brothers, romcom, erotica, PNR, fated mates, police procedural, fantasy, mystery, suspense, and slasher. It’s the king of genre mash-up chaos. Sure, it's madness but there is genius in it. Was it a crazy unhinged mess +1 roll for damage? Yes. Yes it was. Did it manage to hold all those tangled threads together? No it did not. Was it also a charming, sexy, engaging, non-stop piece of entertainment? Sure thing. I think this show is basically my KinnPorsche, and frankly I’ve been chasing that dragon naga since KP aired. Is it perfect? No. But it was balls to the wall FUN and that gets a 9/10 from me.

I'm thinking of doing a full recap review (partly because I have so many great screen shots.)

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube grey) ep 10-11 of 12 - Since this series is following the yaoi so closely, I knew these were the separation eps. (Also I knew with would be a soft non-doom ep 11, Japan rarerly does these.) I like that they used it to show improve communication and development in all relationships, but, frankly, TayNew are just best when they are TayNew together on screen. So yeah. Let’s keep them back together, please?

Meanwhile, TayNew gifted us a gorgeous loving sweet sex scene. Thanks OG for doing us a solid. 

I wanna add, it sure is fun to see New play as soft and vulnerable character, I feel like he hasn’t done that since SOTUS. 

(Read all about distribution issues here.)

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 12fin - 1/3 of this is a sweet romance about a student doctor falling in love with a student chef, and the rest of it is utter dross. Look the OffGun bits were GREAT.. In fact, I think they’re better AS A PAIR in this show than in any of their other BLS. And I'm a hard sell on any OffGun being better than PickRome. Saying that, how can I review a show where I could only tolerate 1/3 of it? Because I didn’t like any other aspect of this show, no other pairs and no other plots. That gives me: 9/10 for the OffGun bits, 5/10 for everything else. Frankly it probably should be an 8 but I gotta go with my gut and it's upset about this so 7/10. Sorry boys. It’s GMMTV’s fault. Your heart was in this show, mine wasn’t. 

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - These two are so good at making heart eyes at each other. It’s ridiculous. They don’t need any cartoon images or noises. Moot crush but "I wanna flirt and court more" is so flipping awesome. I love this for them… and us. 

1000 Years Old ep 2 of 12 - It’s very silly and we have been gifted with the dorkiest vampire ever. But... the smell thing makes me so happy. And I like that the vamp uses chan/nai or tan = v old fashioned. Nahlak. I love our ghost girl. Did you notice she wasn’t in the room with them but they left an empty chair for her? Also nahlak.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Perfect Propose (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 6 - Kai was pretty much just “you're a workaholic but I basically married you whether you like it or not.” SMOOCH. What can I say? I'm a sucker for this dynamic.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - How is this show so cute? How do they both love and hurt each other so much. They are both just scared of loosing each other. Gah.

Unknown (Taiwan Sat Youku YouTube) 1 of 12 eps - Youku dropped the first ep to their YouTube channel but I doubt we can expect that to continue. Still, it was nice to be able to watch it in a convenient way. I enjoyed it. But I am cautious about it. Of course this is possibly two of my favorite tropes of all time (stepbrothers or a variation + hyung romance). So I’m looking forward to the romantic thread, but from the gritty style, it feels a lot more like a Taiwanese short. Which means it could go very dark and may not end happy. 

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - I just don’t know if the main couple should be a couple. But when they finally get around to talking to each other, they sure are lovely. Also how great is it to see a uke initiate a kiss? Even if it’s not a very good kiss. 

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 2 of 8 - I am still not sure about this one. I am not contesting its quality, just saying it’s not for me. Also I’m not wild about what amounts to basically a redo of everything that already happened in the first episode from a different perspective. I know it’s a tall order with Japan, but I would like (when it’s a short series) for each new installment to actually move the plot (such as it is) along in someway. Am I asking too much?

It's done but I have no time

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam, it's on YouTube. I will give it a try when I have a window of time.

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - A Burmese BL? @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch.

It's airing but...

Dead Friend Forever (Thai iQIYI) - rumors are it's interesting but full of unlikable characters. I'm waiting to know how it ends.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far. Ends next week TF.

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - dropped it at ep 4.

A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV) - I tried but I can't get into my WeTV account anymore and I'm way too lazy to figure it out. Should I bother to go grey for it?

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand YT) - High school sweethearts who had a bad break up reunite when both of them have full time jobs but coming out is still a problem. You can watch this on YT but it has no Eng Subs.

Next Week Looks Like This:

We're light on content right now, but frankly I'm so busy with work I don't really mind.

3/6 Born to be Y (Thai ????) 10 eps - 14 contestants who audition to compete in Born To Be Y, a program that searches for the best couple of the year to work together on a giant project. Described as semi-reality series. So I probably won't bother.

3/7 Deep Night (Thai iQiyi) 10 eps - Multiple romances set in a host clubs. Nice to see First back on my screen but this is not my favorite setting.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

The eyes have it.

Your random BL moment brought to you by my ult-bias being a hyung smartass to his maknae.

(Last week)

[beeliveee]

pls baindallas hesdcanons feed us

First ship headcanons request lets go?? I’m more than happy to deliver 🫶

This is a very looong post but this was super fun to write!! Don’t be afraid to send me more ship headcanon requests :]

This has angst ofc, baindallas is doomed yaoi, what else did you expect? Don’t worry I gave you some fluffy stuff as well, consider it an apology for the angst

Headcanons:

Slow burn trope, despite them both being good with words, they are absolutely awful at communicating their feelings to eachother.

They are both completely full of yearning and want, but it never gets to turn into have. Even after years of working together, Bain never expresses his feelings due to how risky and dangerous it is to pursue a relationship while following a life of crime, and Dallas isn’t able to realise and confront his own feelings towards him. He waits and waits for the right time to come clean about his feelings, until it’s too late...

The grief is overwhelming to the whole crew, especially to Dallas. While he doesn’t show it on the outside, it is still very obvious to everyone else. His movements are more sluggish, he’s quieter than usual and spends more time alone in his office, haunted by the guilt of never confessing his true feelings.

After a while, the grief significantly subsides within the members of the crew, and while he still hasn’t moved on completely, he keeps on pushing, knowing it’s what Bain would’ve wanted, even if it’s extremely difficult to do so.

He subconsciously begins to adopt Bain’s old mannerisms over time. From his manner of speech, to the way he signed off his e-mails, his little quirks and habits continue to live on within the Mastermind. Once he notices, things slowly become a bit easier, step by step, knowing he’ll forever be carrying a piece of the man he once loved with him.

But what if they didn’t hesitate with expressing their true feelings?

Nicknames aren’t an extremely common occurence between the two, but every once in a while when in private, a “Dear”, “Darling” or “Sweetheart” slips out

Bain sometimes sends anonymous packages adressed to Dallas to the safehouse, usually containing a thoughtful gift of some sort. Whether that be a quality bottle of whiskey or his favorite brand of cigarettes, he leaves him gifts often alongside a short and sweet note

Dallas asks to go on solo stealth missions more often than before, really it’s just an excuse for some more one-on-one time with Bain

Dallas is the only one who actually has a way to contact Bain privately, through a burner phone provided to him by the latter. Off the job, that phone is full of endless messages between the two

Personally I prefer to believe in them not actually meeting physically, maybe except for once, but you guys have some physical contact headcanons too cuz we need them kissing

Bain loves having his hair played with and Dallas does it cause it helps keep his hands busy

PHYSICAL AFFECTION!! They don’t see eachother all day and after all the mini heart attacks Bain gets every time Dallas gets downed or in custody, you think they wouldn’t keep their hands off eachother? Even when they can’t fully cuddle, an arm around the shoulder here, a hand on the thigh there, they’re all over eachother.

Dallas is usually little spoon, he’s the leader of the gang, having to make split second decisions and think for everyone, it gets overwhelming. He’s glad that for once he’s not the one who has to be in charge, that he can be the one to be cared for.

Their dates are calm, quiet and reserved, usually a trip to a coffee shop or a movie date at one of their places is more than enough to make them happy

[player016]

junhun for the ship ask game >:3

Hello my friend!

You won’t be at all surprised to know I do in fact ship my squid game otp 😆

1. What made you ship it?

The short answer is the scene in s2e2 where Junho flings Gihun up against the window. That scene changed my brain chemistry.

To get more personal, it also feels a tiny bit like a self insert, at least more so than other ships with Gihun, who I, like many of us, am profoundly attracted to.

There a lot of character traits I relate to in Junho—we even share a birthday! His ‘nothing bad can happen to me’ mindset we youngest siblings can get; his dogged pursuit of his mission to reach a sibling reminds me of my own brother going missing for some time and what it was like to think he was dead, to sneak out of the house at night and try to find him. His intense protectiveness of Inho, choosing to cover for him even after all he’d done, also really speaks to me. Throw into that my own tendencies to befriend older folks (it’s our daddy/mommy trauma) and looking at Junho feels like looking at a part of myself. Writing for him felt so natural and I really think it helped me develop my skill and voice in this fandom!

Additionally, it has been a BLAST to play with the desperate to please/projecting!Junho and hesitant to let anyone in/self-sabotaging!Gihun. As someone whose favorite flavor of yaoi is doomed, it’s been fun to push them off a cliff together in In the Weeds.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Without getting into it, the kind of intimate, intense sex they can have with their respective damage.

I also think they can bring out things in one another—dark, awful things, as well as beautiful, restorative things. I’m also a sucker for an age gap.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have about the ship?

Yes. I don’t think these two would ever actually be in love or end up together. I think Junho would always choose Inho over Gihun, and Gihun would always choose the game over Junho. But I think their feelings for one another would still be intense, even if they wouldn’t have more than a few months of life-altering intimacy.

That was fun hehe thank you for the ask!!

[emeraldhypothesis]

I'm back and I have a triple order!

I wanna hear your thoughts on the doomed yaoi men: Yami Yugi, Bruno, and Ai

(Only if you want to, of course)

oh baby we got some good ones

Yami:

Why I like them/why I don’t

God, Yami/Atem is just... such a good protagonist. He's one of the foundational protagonists of my childhood in terms of what I like about a hero, up there with Optimus Prime in how I've grown to love an idea Peter Cullen once said about how he plays Optimus, "Be strong enough to be gentle."

Atem's early behavior in the manga is legit so crazy to look back on, he's like a chained-up demon who bestows karmic justice without concerns of morality or how it looks to others, but gradually softens as he comes out of his shell and interacts with Yugi and his friends more, becoming a more noble and honorable figure worthy of the title of King of Games. I love his boundless enthusiasm and appreciation for games, the deep care and love he has for the gang and how they accept him once they learn about him. He's so fun to follow across the series, not just for his growth but because he's just a naturally engaging character.

What I like about their appearance

I love the vivid shade of purple his eyes are in DSOD, it's so gorgeous. I love the sleeveless jacket he sometimes had during Duelist Kingdom, and his little jacket-cape that he starts wearing in Battle City.

I'm also stupidly fond of his little gray coat from the Dungeon Dice Monsters episode.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Same in both, so no preference. I will say I like the Japanese having Yami and Yugi refer to each other as "Other me," which gradually shows how deep their bond runs.

I'll repeat a lot of what I said about Yugi for the languages though, Dan Green and Shunsuke Kazama are both perfect in the role and I adore both of their takes on Atem. I think I'd give it overall to Dan Green just for how much gravitas he gives a lot of scenes, which gives his softer-spoken moments or his comedic bits more impact.

OTP

Like I said for Kaiba, it's Prideshipping, no contest. Yami and Kaiba's rivalry is one of the foundations the series is built on, and both characters compliment and complete each other in such a way that one without the other feels like a phantom pain from a lost limb.

I also do like Atem/Mahad, largely because Mahad is just the absolute GOAT during Millennium World that I must respect his dedication to the bit.

NOTP

I'm not super fond of shipping him with the other Yamis, and admittedly that's largely due to a Thiefshipping bias but also a bit too little chemistry.

OT3

I think him, Yugi and Joey would have been cute together, or him, Yugi and Tea.

I'm also fond of Atem/Mahad/Mana.

Favourite card they use

I love how sassy Dark Magician can get with its little finger wags and smirks, but I gotta give it to God's Favorite Little Guy, Kuriboh.

Favourite moment they were in

So many, it's so hard to pick. I could list off like five and I'd still be left going "Oh but I could bring up him decking Strings out, or BESERKER SOUL, or his manga ferocity making him nearly kill Kaiba in Duelist Kingdom, or his return in DSOD where he summons Mahad and you get the awesome symbolism of Mahad being summoned facing his king and kneeling before he attacks Aigami and... you get the idea." He has so many, we'd be here all day.

I think I'll give it to the Ceremonial Duel though. It's a perfect ending all around, with Atem giving a wonderful final performance in his summoning of the God Cards, his his warm praise that creeps in when Yugi outplays him and pushes him into a corner, and him embracing his end with serenity and dignity. I saw a post once that referred to it all as the perfect funeral for Atem.

I still cry watching that scene.

Least favourite moment

I've never thought that DOMA made a great case for Atem playing the Seal of Orichalchos when he did, especially when the duel with Raphael had zero stakes to it. It's a bit of a "He would not fucking say that" moment for me, but I'm willing to accept it to allow for his arc that season of being this darkest hour for him that he did play that card and it had real consequences for people around him.

Would I fuck, marry or kill them

at the risk of getting crass: I've had a crush on Atem since I was a child. I would commit many a grave sin to know him carnally.

Bruno:

Why I like them/why I don’t

God he's just so cool though. A fearsome rival who's intensely mysterious throughout the series, alongside Bruno being one of the better Second Season Best Friend characters alongside Johan and Vector. He's just such a silly guy who's helplessly in love with Yusei the bikes, and who can blame him!

Even his name is cool! I love how much meaning went into the Four Stars and their names. It's sick.

What I like about their appearance

I love Bruno's jacket, it looks very comfy.

Antinomy's jumpsuit is super sleek, his slicked-back haircut is rad, and I love his glasses- very telling that Antinomy has to view the world/Z-One through rose-tinted glasses, eh.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Same in both, but I would say I prefer Dark Glass as an alias over Vizor. I am very fond of how they translate "surpass your limits, Yusei" into asking if he's found "The Synchro Solution," that just tickles my fancy.

Voice wise, it's mutual bangers on both sides. Hiroki Tanaka's performance as Bruno/Antinomy is so layered to make each identity distinct, and he does a wonderful job with it, especially in his last duel and his voice softens on that final "Yusei..." augh my heart. He's also just so bombastic with the summon chants that it's hard not to adore Tanaka's take (especially with the Delta Accel chant he did for Glaive Blaster during AGOV's OCG Times stream, super fun watch).

Justin Badger I preferred for a bit as Bruno over Antinomy, but he really got to shine when Duel Links gave him a full chance to play Antinomy. I heard him in an interview once discussing how he played Bruno, Antinomy and Dark Glass differently and that was engaging to listen to. Badger has such a commanding voice that lends itself well, with him going for a more clipped, professional tone that lets up a little when he's going for the bombastic summon chants.

Both are great, is what I'm trying to say. Perfect performance on both sides.

OTP

Toolshipping is suuuuuch painful doomed yaoi. Easily my favorite Yusei ship, the bond it allows Yusei to forge across Season 2 is such a wonderful, soft time that hurts like a knife to the eye when it comes to a violent, miserable end in the Arc Cradle.

Here's how I can ship Faith and Tool at the same time and still win! By throwing Antinomy into the black hole!

NOTP

Bruno/Sherry is too much mlm/wlw solidarity for me to look at them romantically.

OT3

As with Z-One and Aporia, old man polycule yaoi my beloved.

Favourite card they use

Tie between Hyper Librarian (I LOVE DRAWING CARDS IS THIS THE SYNCHRO SOLUTION YOU WANTED) and Halbred Cannon. I like a lot of the TG's though, they're a pet favorite deck of mine.

Honorable mention to his legacy support having some of the best references in the art of any legacy support deck, like Star Guardian Literally Just Being Antinomy, TG Close depicting Halbred Cannon's choke-slam, and Shooting Star Dragon TG EX reflecting Yusei and Bruno's bond.

Favourite moment they were in

His entire last duel with Yusei is one of the best duels of 5D's, and Ark Cradle is a arc of nothing but the best duels in 5D's. The environment is so unique and cool to look at, Halbred Cannon's summon collapsing a star, Halbred Cannon CHOKE SLAMMING SHOOTING STAR DRAGON, and his sacrifice to save Yusei all just works so well.

Least favourite moment

He didn't have one- a GOAT always stands on business and the Synchro Solution waits for no frauds.

I guess his future self's moustache was kinda cringe?

Ai:

Why I like them/why I don’t

Ai manages the difficult task of being a comic relief character who morphs into a tragic figure. His arc across Season 2 has him slowly stripped of the whimsy and zeal for life that he starts with, cumulating in him learning true rage after Earth's death and his broken sorrow after the other Ignis sacrifice themselves to give him and Yusaku a chance to beat Bohman.

It's amazing how complex Ai's villain arc is made given the short time frame Season 3 has to work with. It arguably takes up too much time- you basically need to go into Season 3 already liking Yusaku and Ai for a lot of the Season to land, but as someone who does, it's fantastic.

Ai's journey in Season 3 is perfect. It's a bit abrupt to go from his comic relief angle in Seasons 1 and 2 to such a dark swerve but I think the writing nails it. He's probably my favorite villain in the show, I adore his dynamic with Yusaku and how fucking dooomed it really is, and he manages the impressive feat of going on a massive relay run of older enemies to beat, and made it entertaining. I adore his little deck, and how much symbolism of his grief is tied into the ace monsters and AIland, I love how stupid all of his AI backrow cards are with their silly puns. And I love that all of the jester stuff is hiding a deeply, agonized and lonely character who is basically forcing the one human he's ever loved to be his executioner and God. He's a person who wants to die because both his family are dead and if he stays alive, his last love will die for him. No wonder he's a barely functioning mess.

I am very biased about Ai's Season 3 turn, I have no real notes beyond "Man imagine how much more cool shit we'd have gotten if he had fifty episodes to cook."

What I like about their appearance

His Ignis form is the definition of a scrimblo. A scrunchy. A creechure, you may say. He's very expressive and the design lends itself well to that. I love how you can see him duck and weave inside of the Duel Disk to dodge Yusaku's hands sometimes.

His Soltis form may be a bit "Sterotypical Tumblr Sexy Man" but... look I'm on Tumblr I'm allowed one. I like his earrings. :)

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Same in both.

I think I overall prefer the sub, but more because of what Ai is allowed to say in that and how the Vrains dub handles tone in general. It's nothing against Michael Liscio, I'd even say this is his best performance of his major roles (especially because unlike Arc-V he doesn't have to juggle six character voices, seriously who decided that?), but the Vrains dub does have an issue of fearing sincerity sometime so it has to crack jokes. A lot of the time the jokes land are funny, but it does undercut the severity of the moment when Ryoken is fumbling the "Gotta break an egg to make an omelette" analogy while telling Yusaku about Earth's death- or translating Shoichi and Yusaku's Season 2 conversation into the climax of the "Is a hot dog a sandwich" running bit. Liscio does well, but I think I'd have to give my preference to Takahiro Sakurai's Ai largely because of the material. If Liscio was given things like Ai's dying love confession it'd be more even so... get back to me when Duel Links adds Ai, going off Yudias's voice lines love confessions are back on the menu.

OTP

"If losing a friend means your heart breaks, then why are you trying to break my heart?"

Aiball is one of the peak Doomed Yaoi ships in a franchise that already has an overabundance of Doomed Yaoi. Their bond over Seasons 1 and 2 gradually transitions from hostage to ally, making any time Yusaku slips and calls him "Aibou" all the better. They clearly care for each other and like being around them, but the circumstances of the story keep separating them, and eventually Ai is forced to launch his own Ignis Rebellion in order to find a way to die that guarantees no one brings him back.

It's also fun from a toxic yaoi perspective because of how the entire duel works out- Ai basically goads Yusaku into the fight and only then reveals that he dies either way- meaning he's forced Yusaku without his knowledge into a situation where Yusaku helps Ai commit suicide either way, and that's really fucked up and I kinda love it.

Their last scene together is so haunting, not helped by Ai gradually letting slip that his motive was born from love- seeing Yusaku die in every simulation that Ai made broke the poor guy, so he decided that the best way for Yusaku to live was to take himself off the board for good.

(until Duel Links)

That last shot especially of Yusaku standing among a field of Ai's corpses is genuinely so harrowing, holy crap.

I also have a soft spot for Ai/Lightning due to a reading from a friend that clued me in on them having the world's messiest divorce arc and neither of them having gotten over it by Season 2.

NOTP

Anything with Bohman. I hate Bohman soooooo much.

OT3

Like I said with Revolver, the idea of Ai and Ryoken having to co-exist in post-canon works because they both like Yusaku too much is the definition of hilarity to me.

Favourite card they use

The Arrival, no contest. Such an otherworldly design, helped by an immaculate summon chant.

The A.I. spells and traps are all so adorable though, whoever had the idea that Ai's ego would have him base all of his backrow art of himself was cooking, you absolute genius.

I also like Pikari's funny little hat. :) Maybe Lightning wouldn't have tried to enslave humanity if they had a funny little hat!

Favourite moment they were in

Yusaku vs Ai is probably my favorite final boss duel in the franchise, for reasons I went into earlier, but I think I'll say my favourite overall moment of the duel is when Ai manages to get out the @ Ignister monsters that represent his friends and takes a moment to both think "Holy crap I made the perfect board," and lament that none of them are there to see it.

Shout out as well to The Arrival's summon chant where he can rattle off five superlatives in short order, but hesitates at the sixth- his self loathing coming home to roost and meaning he hesitates to think of something good to say about himself.

Least favourite moment

Ai trying to imply he's the real reason Yusaku took up arms against the Hanoi in their duel. I never liked that line, it comes off as trying far too hard to make Ai manipulative (I can accept he set up the Cyberse deck but I refuse to believe Ai organized Yusaku meeting Shoichi) and it never comes up again so I write the line off as non-canon. It also comes too soon after Lightning is retconned as being the root cause of all evil in the known universe, so that didn't help.

Would I fuck, marry or kill them

Yeah he'd be fun for a rumble in the hay or two.

[maodear]

Dears…no im not okay rn.

It hit me that Luka maybe will have angst. Hyuna and Luka. It’s not okay..nonononono…he-h-help me

Luka is so close to being killed. I smell it. Vivinos don’t play with me… VIvINoS…Hahahahahhehh..I’m a very sane alien stage fan…ha.ha..hahah..

Luka deserves it..but..he’s my baby..hahahahsh..Hyuna.. if they do something to my girl..I’m gonna flip.

Everything is doomed.. No one is save in alien stage. NO ONE. Not even us or my therapist. They gonna hear my story about crying for an episode. Because of the straight, Yaoi and Yuri..I’m fine..I’m fine..☺️

Guys I’m okay. I swear..

[cherry-pop-elf]

Grunkle Bill

Instead of doomed yaoi Bill had a moment of clarity that if he destroyed Ford’s world he would, in a way, destroy his own planet all over again

They ended up becoming a proper couple, which by proxy meant the portal was tweaked to ACTUALLY work as intended by Ford

This also means when Dipper and Mabel come over to the shack during the summer Stan and Ford are there. Along with Bill

The major arcs of the season is figuring out what Bill actually is, and protecting him from Villians like Gideon and Mr. Northwest from trying to find out Bill Pines is indeed Bill Cipher and use his powers for selfish gain

There is also an accidental “Is Stan racist?” Because Stan has alot of beef with Ford’s boyfriend, aka Bill, and given it’s so vague how Bill and Ford came to be it sounds like Bill was an immigrant that escaped the Middle East. I mean, who’s first thought is Inter-dimensional Alien Demons, right?

Bill also plays as a ‘forest ranger’ as a job

Not too far off. He roams the area and keeps the paranormal creatures in check, like the SummerWeen Fae

Doesn’t ALWAYS work but it’s still a job you don’t want him fired from

Fanfic about this AU will be up soon 💋 If you have questions ask away, and please if you do like this concept and like draw it/write about it TAG MEH PLS

[columbiastapshoes]

Your headcanons give me lifeee

Perhaps can you spare a few more about the other sillies in the castle?

but of course!! sorry for the delay i’ve been so ill about twin peaks that i had to like sort through the doomed yaoi in my brain to find rhps stuff <3

- they all wake up at completely different times. it’s rare that they’re all up at the same time…. unless it’s 3 am. everyone’s up then. for one reason or another

- frank passenger princess confirmed 🫶 riff is always the one driving and frank’s like doing his eyeliner in the front seat and then gets so pissed when they hit a bump in the road and he messes up

- board game nights that result in a loss of friendship (temporarily). i’m thinking of some dialogue i heard from my friends while playing uno as columbia and magenta: “wow your eyes are so pretty!” “i thought we weren’t on speaking terms.” “oh right sorry”

- the stage they had the floorshow at is literally just used for the most dramatic karaoke performances in the history of creation. like they get allll the lights and sounds just so columbia can sing total eclipse of the heart

- riff and magenta act like normal siblings. i don’t care what the movie said that wasn’t canon. they fight like children and use blackmail from when they were younger on each other <3 ESPECIALLY bc riff does not approve of magenta and columbia and it’s like

-“she’s not good for you” “i’ll tell her you bit people” “..have a nice date”

- they have fully accepted being strange and offputting <3 they always have sm fun going out in public and just being Odd. to quote hair (sorry i’m ill about that too), “hey man let’s go to the park and scare some tourists!”

- columbia and magenta have an agenda of trying to get a pet for everyone. riff and frank do not approve at all but they always find ways to sneak in stray cats :3 they prob have rabies by now but it’s fine

- frank turns into the biggest homophobe around magenta and columbia. he was happy for them for like 2 seconds and now if they even hold hands in the same room as him he gags

- movie nights but with the worst, most obscure movies they can get their hands on. think velocipastor.

once again sorry if i repeated myself and i may reblog later :3 enjoyyy

[numercnnightingale]

10 Reasons to Consider Shipping Numeron

( astral x don thousand )

1; Why Not

.

Established connection that was never utilized:

These two dueled one another for up to one thousand days, fought each other for the Numeron Code, and was the whole reason Astral was created in the very first place. 

Despite that, the show never went into anything with their cosmic dynamic. Or even acknowledged it much.

But think of all the missing scenes, or even canon compliant Added scenes, in fics you could produce by brainstorming even a little bit about them. 

There’s a variety of fun tropes to play with;

enemies-to-lovers, forbidden attraction, pure angel x fallen angel, garden of eden symbolisms, second chance, secret attraction, doomed yaoi, “was never meant to be, but became anyway”. 

To name just a potential few.

There’s a lot they could teach each other:

Astral’s arc through the series involved learning the slow acceptance of chaos, but a lot of it was surface level and from a very young / emotionally immature point of view. Don Thousand is the self proclaimed deity of chaos, its harbinger. Embracing it cost him his entire home. Think of the new emotions Astral could experience from learning about his early home world if he was forced to listen to Don Thousand’s perspective of it. Especially now that Astral has opened that connection to chaos again in their world . . .

On the other side, think of how Don Thousand might be affected by being forced to understand Astral’s innocent but earnest perspective. Astral represents everything Don Thousand lost when he was cast out and banished. To then have this same being allow your side to be told, for once, and defy its programming to do so . . . 

Make Shit Up. No one can stop you.

The ship doesn’t exist right now. You have the power to forge their dynamic using all the creative liberties you desire.

And again, it’s not like there’s nothing in-canon tying them together. There’s actually a lot. So you can either have a fun blast digging for it, or just make up your own stuff from scratch. 

Creatively, its an untapped well.

5; They Look Good Together

text not needed

Angst.

Like but imagine.

The first time Astral ever experiences such an emotion of heat? And its towards his sworn enemy? The one he was made to destroy? The literally god of whom represents everything he was wired to believe is defiling?

And for that god, to find desire in a creation of light and perfection, who was made for him? But also who stands in his way? Who represents everything he’s abandoned and been abandoned by?

But 

what if despite everything they were tender to each other

Movies The Ship Could AU

Beauty and the Beast

Pride and Prejudice Strange Magic

The Sound of Music

Howl’s Moving Castle

Secret of Nimh 

The Last Unicorn

And Lastly

Thanks for reading. If those didn’t convince you, maybe these might

Fanfic 1: “i will travel far beyond the path of reason”  (fanfic) (not romantic)

Fanfic 2: “i don’t believe in god“  (fanfic) (sort of romantic)

AMV: “back to eden” 

Ship tag to browse: #numeronshipping

Thank U Goodnight

[thispersonistired]

Fic Idea (Landoscar actors au)

Actors AU where they play doomed yaoi lovers in a film that's based on a true story of 2 f1 drivers. I used Lestappen, though originally it was my OCs Oliver "Ollie" Rossi and Kylo "Ky" Evans. It could be anyone tbh. Brocedes... SennaProst.....i nearly made it SebMark ;;'"] Anywho, without further ado!

-

"Do you... ever wonder if Max and Charles - the real people, not the characters we play based off them - if they ever forgave each other?" Lando asks a few minutes into the silence.

Oscar runs a hand through Lando's curls, which are strewn haphazardly across his chest, and considers the question. He's still trying to figure out his own thoughts on the two characters they've been embodying for the past few months.

"Well, from what I can tell, Max probably never really hated Charles, if I’m being honest," he replies eventually. "If anything, the man seemed to hate himself, especially after every time he hurt Charles." He pauses, mind going to all the lines and thoughts he’d voiced out for his role and the pain in them. "He probably never forgave himself."

Lando hums, the vibration of it soft against Oscar’s chest. "They loved each other," he concludes.

And it's true. They loved each other, and they really hurt each other in equal turn. But despite everything that had transpired between  Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc in the decade leading to their untimely deaths, they had spent all that time pushing and pulling at whatever it was that they had between them, each one flowing with and against the tide of the other. 

If Oscar had actually been Max, and felt whatever convoluted mess of emotion the driver held for his teammate, he knows he would have loved Charles too. And maybe he wouldn’t have known how to say it either. Maybe he would have let it leak out through sharp words and tense moments between rivals-turned-teammates. Maybe he too would have wasted his chance, not knowing happiness was something he could reach for, not knowing it would all end in what-ifs and lost time.

"A tragedy," Oscar says aloud. "Their love story."

Lando lets out a small sound and nuzzles closer into Oscar's chest, his arms tightening around him like he's afraid to let go.

"I love you, Osc," he whispers.

Oscar freezes.

Then Lando says it again, louder. "I love you." It comes out as a sniffle. "I love you so much. And I'm so sorry. And I don't want to waste my chance like Charles. It's all getting to me for some stupid reason and-"

Oscar gently cups Lando’s cheeks and brushes the tears away. "Hey," he says softly, tilting Lando’s face up to meet his gaze. Green-blue-grey eyes, rimmed red, stare back at him.

"We’re not stupid like Charles and Max. I'm here. And I love you too."

Lando goes still. His eyes widen like he can’t believe it.

"Really?" he asks.

Oscar nearly laughs. What a silly question.

"Of course I love you," he says, a little firmer now. "You were literally my celebrity crush since forever ago. Since that one old Australian beef commercial."

Lando groans. "We don’t talk about that."

"You were so tiny!"

"Oscarrrr," Lando whines, pouting.

"It actually pains me that you have no idea how much I love you, Lando."

Oscar watches the tension melt from his face, replaced by something impossibly soft.

"Then I guess you’ll have to show me," Lando replies, just as softly.